The Psychology of Achievement

Brian Tracy

The Psychology of Achievement Contents 1. How You Can Benefit Most from This Program 2. Building a Positive Self Concept 3. Accepting Responsibility and Taking Charge 4. Programming for Success 5. Goals and Goal Achieving 6. Creative Problem Solving and Decision Making 7. Superior Human Relations

How You Can Benefit Most from This Program The final value to you of The Psychology of Achievement will depend on how many of its insights and guidelines you can, or choose to, adopt as routine ways of thinking and acting. You'll be wise to listen to each audio session several times. Don't expect to get full value from these cassettes if you hear them only once. Even the most intelligent, thoughtful listener needs to hear cassette sessions such as these several times to be able to pick up, think over and internalize all the ideas discussed. Also, each repeated listening will spark for you additional ideas that apply to your current needs and goals.

Make Concentrated Listening a Habit Set aside a short period each morning or evening, or both, when you can listen with full attention to the sessions with which you are working. This does not in any way preclude casual listening - while you're driving your car, dressing, eating or exercising, for example. It is simply a more concentrated form of listening.

Use This Guide After hearing a particular session on cassette, refer to the corresponding section of this guide. Here you'll find a useful summary of the main points discussed and suggestions for putting the ideas to work in your life.

Act on Your Ideas Until intelligent thought is linked with appropriate action and follow-through, little or nothing is accomplished. So once you've grasped a particular idea and how to apply it, act - put it to work in your daily life. The results may seem slow at first, but if you're determined to stick with the program, you'll soon discover that you're creating a more successful life. You'll discover that you're able to accomplish your goals - bigger goals on schedule. You'll make greater use of your creative abilities. You'll develop and maintain winning relationships. You'll enjoy your life more.

Jot Down Your Ideas Whenever you're listening, keep pen and paper at hand, and be prepared to stop your cassette player at any time. When you hear an idea or technique that particularly appeals to you, stop the tape. Think about the idea. Think about it in connection with your situation, your work, your life-style. Think about its value to you - how it could change and improve what you are doing. Think about how you can apply it, visualize yourself doing so and making it pay off for you. Jot down some notes to remind yourself of your thinking and to help you take action during the days ahead. Then restart the cassette player and continue listening.

Cassette One

Building a Positive Self-Concept Side One SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Do I have peace of mind? 2. Do I spend my time and energy worrying about money? 3. Am I in control of my life? 4. Do I have abundant energy and good health? 5. Do I plan my life? 6. Do I understand how to achieve my full potential?

SUMMARY Why are some people more successful than others? Why do some people make more money, have more friends, enjoy better health and derive greater satisfaction from life than others do? The purpose of The Psychology of Achievement is to help you unlock your personal potential to achieve anything you really want in life. Let's define what we mean by success. There are basically six requirements for success. The first requirement is peace of mind - freedom from fear, freedom from anger and freedom from guilt. The second requirement for success is good health and a high level of energy - if we do not have our health or energy, we don't get very much satisfaction from life. The third requirement for success is loving relationships - long-term, intimate, mature relationships with other people. The fourth requirement is financial freedom - we cannot enjoy life if we're worried over not having enough money. The fifth ingredient is commitment to worthy goals and ideals - man's need for meaning and purpose is the greatest single drive in human nature. The sixth requisite for success is a feeling of personal fulfillment or self actualization - a feeling that we are becoming everything we are capable of becoming. The second principle is the law of accident, which says there is no way that we can control what happens to us, that everything just happens by accident. Unfortunately, whether or not they realize it, the vast majority of men and women live their lives by the law of accident. They have no goals beyond the short term, they make no plans, they don't really feel they're in control of their own destinies, and they just hope that somehow things will work out. Opposed to the law of accident is the law of cause and effect, which says that for every effect in our lives, there is a specific cause. We have the ability to control the causes and change the effects to anything we want. Our thoughts are the primary causes of the conditions or effects in our lives, and if we wish our lives to be different in the future, we have to change our thinking in the present. The law of belief says that whatever we believe with feeling becomes our reality. Our beliefs form a screen through which we see the entire world, and we never allow any information that is inconsistent with our beliefs to pass through the screen. Even if we have beliefs that are totally inconsistent with reality, because we believe them to be true, they become true for us.

To get maximum performance from ourselves, we have to understand the basic underlying principles, or laws, of our being. Once we understand how we work, we have to make an effort to apply what we have learned to achieve far higher levels of accomplishment in our day-to-day lives. Let's begin by discussing the basic rules, or laws, for operating the human machine. The law of control simply says that we feel good about ourselves to the degree to which we feel we are in control of our lives, and that we feel out of harmony with ourselves to the degree to which we feel we are controlled by circumstances or by other people. All control begins with taking control of the thoughts we hold in our conscious minds.

SELF-HELP 1. Write your definition of success. 2. List three goals to which you are committed. 3. In which areas of your life have you achieved personal fulfillment? Side Twc SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Am I usually optimistic, and do I usually expect things to work out well? 2. Do I understand the importance of my self-concept in determining my behavior? 3. Who is the person I would most like to be-what is my self-ideal? 4. Do I usually expect the best of other people? 5. Do I like myself? 6. Do I understand the difference between self-liking and arrogance?

SUMMARY The law of expectations is a powerful concept that says that whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. People who enjoy high levels of accomplishment are continually talking to and about themselves as though they expect things to work out well. Expectations have a powerful impact on our relationships with others, and they have a powerful impact on what we become.

There are three key types of expectations that affect our lives: first, the expectations our parents had of us these expectations have a dramatic impact on how we perform today; second, the expectations we have of our children, our spouses, our subordinates and the people who look up to us - people who look up to us always try to fulfill our expectations of them, whether they are positive or negative; third, and perhaps most-important of all, the expectations we have of ourselves - which may be high or low, positive or negative.

The law of attraction says that each human being is a living magnet, that we radiate thought energy and that we invariably attract into our lives the people and circumstances that harmonize with our dominant thoughts. If we wish to attract different people, different circumstances and different events, we have to change the content of our conscious minds. We can dramatically improve the quality of our lives by taking control of our minds and manufacturing beliefs and expectations consistent with what we want to happen in the future. Remember, what you think, you are. A positive mental attitude is an absolutely indispensable prerequisite for success. The only factors that determine how well a person does or how far he goes are attitudinal. Attitudes come from our expectations about outcome. If we expect things to turn out well, we have positive attitudes. If we expect things to turn out poorly, we have negative attitudes. Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations well in advance of the event. If we make a habit of always expecting the best out of everything we do, we have one of the keys to a successful life. Where do our expectations come from? They come from our fundamental beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Our beliefs are based on our self-concept. Every one of us has a self-concept, which is the controlling factor in our performance. Our self-concept is a combination of all the ideas, thoughts and experiences that have happened to us over the course of our lives that come together to form a composite image of the person we believe ourselves: to be. We always perform in a manner consistent with our selfconcept. The self-concept is made up of three fundamental ingredients. Understanding of the self-concept is a key to understanding and unlocking human performance. The first element of the self-concept is what we call the self-ideal, or the ideal self. Every one of us has numerous pictures, feelings and thoughts of the ideal person we would most like to be. It's usually a composite of all the people we have admired. We are continually adjusting our behaviors, actions and words to try to be more like that ideal person. The second part of the self-concept is the self-image. It is the way we see and think about ourselves; it's our "inner mirror." We tend to walk, talk, sit, act, think, and relate to other people in a manner consistent with this self-image or inner mirror. If we wish to change our external performance, we have to change this inner picture. The third element of the self-concept is self-esteem. It is the root of self-concept and the core of human personality Self-esteem is the most important element in human performance. The person with healthy selfesteem likes himself. People who genuinely like and accept themselves as valuable human beings perform at higher levels of effectiveness. Say, "I like myself, I like myself," over and over, until it is driven deeply into your subconscious. People who genuinely like themselves and accept themselves as valuable persons like and accept other people to the same degree. It is impossible to like or love anybody else more than we like or love ourselves. At the same time, it is impossible to expect anyone else to like and respect us more than we like and respect ourselves. Saying "I like myself" is a positive affirmation that causes us to perform in a more effective manner. The root of all personality problems, all behavioral problems and all difficulties in interactions with other people is low self-esteem.

SELF-HELP 1.

List three expectations you have of yourself.

2. What is the most important statement you can make about yourself?

3. What is your understanding of the statement "What you think, you are"?

Accepting Responsibility and Taking Charge SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Do I frequently hear myself saying the same things my parents said to me? 2. Does fear of failure prevent me from taking risks? 3. Can I accept criticism without feeling threatened? 4. Am I too concerned with what other people may think of me? 5. Do I accept responsibility for my life and behavior?

SUMMARY Every child comes into the world without a self-concept. Every concept we have of who we are, we had to learn while we were growing up. When a child is born, he has an extraordinarily high need for love and touching. A child learns whether or not he is lovable or worthwhile or intelligent or talented by the way he is treated by his parents. Children need a constant, continuous flow of high-quality love in order to develop healthy personalities. Children who do not receive high-quality love in the first three to five years will develop deficiency needs. For the rest of their lives, they will try to compensate for their deficiencies rather than realize their potential. A child comes into the world with only two fears: One is the fear of falling; the other is the fear of loud noises. All other fears had to be taught to us as children. Children are totally unafraid of trying anything. We are born totally spontaneous and uninhibited. Our natural state is to be completely unafraid and completely uninhibited in our relationships with ourselves and with other people. In the formative years, children learn in two ways. The first way they learn is by imitation, usually of one or both parents. Many of our adult habit patterns and characteristics come from straight imitation of one of our parents in our formative years. The other way children learn in the formative years is by moving from discomfort toward comfort. Of all the discomforts a child can suffer, the most traumatic is the withdrawal or the threat of the withdrawal of love and approval by the parent. That threat causes psychic trauma and deep psychological scars that create deficiencies that adults spend the rest of their lives trying to compensate for. Very early in life, children learn inhibitive habit patterns characterized by the words "I can't, I can't." These patterns are formed when children are subjected to punishment and told over and over, "Don't," "Get away from there," "Stop that," "Leave it alone," "Put that down," "Don't touch that." Later in life, when the child or the adult is asked to do something that entails risk or involvement or trying something new or different, the instinctive reaction is "I can't, I can't." The inhibitive negative habit pattern leads early in life to the fear of failure, which is the greatest single obstacle to success in adult life. The compulsive negative habit pattern is characterized by the words "I have to, I have to, I have to" and is learned when the child is made the recipient, or the victim, of conditional love. Conditional love occurs when parents make it clear to the child that he is not loved in and of himself, but only when he does what the parent approves of. This compulsive negative habit pattern leads early in life to the fear of rejection, which is demonstrated or manifested in adult life by a preoccupation or obsession with what other people think. We can overcome negative habit patterns by feeding our minds with new thoughts. The most powerful thought we can use, of course, is "I like myself."

There is a tremendous difference in function between the conscious and subconscious minds. The role of the conscious mind is to take in information and analyze that information to decide whether some action should be taken. The conscious mind is always making a decision that is either yes or no. Whenever the conscious mind says yes to a piece of incoming information, the subconscious accepts it instantly and reacts instantaneously. The key to success is to take full control of the conscious mind, keep it totally on what we want to accomplish and to think continually "I like myself, I like myself." The role of the subconscious is to make sure that we always think, behave and perform in a manner consistent with the information that we have accepted as true in the conscious mind. The acceptance of total responsibility for our lives is the chief hallmark of mature human beings. The acceptance of responsibility means that from then on in life, we have no more excuses. There is a direct relationship between accepting high levels of responsibility, experiencing a feeling of being totally in control of our lives and experiencing positive emotions and the feeling of personal freedom. 9

All negative emotions are ultimately manifested as anger, either inwardly directed or outwardly expressed. Our negative emotions are within us; the negative emotions we experience are our reactions to situations, and are not contained in situations themselves. We cannot suffer negative emotions unless we can justify to ourselves that we're entitled to them and unless we identify with them personally. We experience negative emotions when we blame someone or something else for a situation that we find unsatisfactory. The instant we stop blaming, our negative emotions stop. We stop blaming by immediately saying, "I am responsible, I am responsible," every single time something happens that causes us to feel angry or upset. Besides "I like myself," "I am responsible" is the most powerful positive affirmation we can use to assert complete control over our thoughts, our emotions and our destinies as human beings.

SELF-HELP 1.

Describe two recent occasions when you blamed someone else for your problems.

2.

Describe two incidents you recall from your childhood when you felt your parents didn't love you. How did you react?

3.

You are responsible for your life. What are you going to do about it?

SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Did my parents show their love for me? 2. Did my parents instill guilt feelings in me? 3. Do I deserve the good things in life? 4. Am I critical of myself and others? 5. Am I a worrier? 6. Do I carry a grudge?

SUMMARY The average person starts off in life with very few negative emotions. As he goes through life, negative emotions begin to accumulate like souvenirs. It is impossible for us to realize our full potential unless we leave our negative emotions behind. Where do negative emotions come from? Negative emotions begin very early in life as a result of two factors. The first of these factors is destructive criticism. Destructive criticism inflicted on a child prior to the age of 6 has an indelible effect on the child's subconscious. The subconscious stores the criticism and begins to make all the words and actions of the child in the subsequent years fit a pattern consistent with that negative impression. The second cause of negative emotions is lack of love. For a child to grow up feeling truly loved, three conditions are necessary. First, the parents must love themselves. It is not possible for a parent to love a child any more than the parent loves himself or herself. The second requirement is that parents must love each other. Children who are brought up in environments where the parents do not love each other, grow up not understanding what it is to be part of an adult loving relationship. A third requirement for a child to feel truly loved is that the parents must love the child. If a child grows up the victim of destructive criticism, as well as a lack of love, he begins to feel, deep down, that he has done something fundamentally wrong. These feelings of guilt then begin to grow and to permeate the child's personality and flow into adult life. Guilt is one of the worst of all negative emotions. Guilt is the cause of more insecurity, more negative feelings, more failed marriages, failed relationships and ruined personal ties than anything else. Many parents instill guilt systematically, progressively and continuously.

Side Two A person who has been brought up with feelings of guilt feels inferior, inadequate and undeserving, especially of good things. Another adult manifestation of guilt is that the individual engages in destructive self-criticism and criticism of others. A third adult manifestation of guilt is being easily manipulated by others. A fourth characteristic of individual who have been brought up feeling guilty is that they are continually trying to make other people feel guilty A fifth characteristic is that the person who has been brought up feeling guilty uses victim language - "I wish," "I'll try," "I can't," "I have to ," "I didn't mean to," "I'm sorry," "I apologize," "It wasn't my fault." If we have been raised with this destructive negative emotion, there are several things we can do to eliminate guilt from our feelings and from our lives. The first thing we can do is to stop destructive self-criticism. Never criticize yourself for anything, and never allow anybody to say anything about you that is destructive or negative. The second step in ridding ourselves of feelings of guilt that have arisen since early childhood is to refuse to be manipulated by others. The third step to eliminating feelings of guilt is to refuse to use guilt or. blame with anyone. The fourth step, and perhaps the most important of all, is to forgive. The only way we can realize our full potential is to learn to forgive everybody and to forgive readily. First, we have to forgive our parents for everything they ever did that caused us any unhappiness. Second, we have to forgive everybody else - every single person who has ever hurt us in any way. Third, we have to forgive ourselves. We have to forgive ourselves for every wicked, senseless, foolish, brainless, cruel, ridiculous thing we have ever done. Finally, if we feel we have done or said anything to anyone else that causes us to feel uneasy inside, we have to go to him and apologize. There is one negative emotion that seems to be endemic to our society. worry. Worry is a sustained form of fear caused by indecision - which means that as soon as we make a decision to act in any worrisome situation, the fear and tension and stress begin to diminish. Worry is negative goal setting. It is thinking about, talking about and imagining exactly what we don't want to happen. The only antidote to worry is purposeful action to deal with the worrisome situation and overcome it. The master method is one of the most powerful methods for dealing with worry. First of all, define very clearly what you're worrying about. The second step is to ask yourself, "What is the worst possible outcome of this situation?" The third step is to resolve to accept the worst, should it occur. The final step is to do everything humanly possible to make sure that the worst does not happen. If you will use this master method for dealing with worry, if you will learn to forgive everybody, if you will learn to overcome guilt feelings and if you will accept total responsibility, it is possible to eliminate negative emotions in your life.

SELF-HELP 1.List three negative emotions you are going to eliminate from your life and explain how you are going to do it. 2. Describe two recent incidents when someone tried to manipulate you through guilt. Did it work? 3. How can you use the master method to deal with a current worry or problem?

Programming for Success SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Am I willing to let go of the past and make changes in my life? 2. Do I expect the best of myself? 3. Do I practice positive thought and habit patterns? 4. Am I programmed for success? 5. Am I constantly changing and growing toward the full development of my potential?

SUMMARY Programming your mind for success is critically important. We become what we think about. Everything we are today is the result of everything we have thought to this time. Everything we are or ever will become will come as a result of the content of our minds. The law of belief says that whatever we believe with feeling becomes our reality, and if we wish to change our realities, we must change our beliefs about ourselves. The law of expectations says that whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy, and that's why we must expect the best of ourselves and of every situation. The law of attraction says that we inevitably attract into our lives the people and circumstances that harmonize with our dominant thoughts. If we want to attract different people and circumstances, we have to change our thinking. The law of concentration says that if you want something to grow in your life, you must concentrate on that thought or picture until it comes into your reality. The law of substitution says that if we wish to have positive experiences in our lives, we have to keep our conscious mind focused on positive things, positive events, positive circumstances. The law of repetition says that if we wish to change from negative to positive habit patterns, we have to practice the positive ones over and over. The law of relaxation says that in all mental working, effort defeats itself - the more we just relax and confidently believe that the things we want will come into our lives, the more rapidly they appear. Nobody stays the same for any period of time. We are continually changing in the direction of our dominant thoughts and goals and in the direction of our ideal self. Our job in this process is to keep very clearly in our minds the people we would like to be and the goals we would like to accomplish. To continue growing, we have to let go of the past. We have to develop new habit patterns of thinking about ourselves. We do this by thinking and talking and acting continuously in the manner consistent with the person would like to be, with the attributes and characteristics we would like to have. There are several methods we can use to accelerate this process of personal development. The first is affirmation. Use affirmations such as " I like myself," " I am responsible " I feel terrific," " I am decisive." Repeating these affirmatior over and over with belief and enthusiasm drives them dee into the subconscious. The second way we can program our minds is by visualization. Visualization is the ability to form a clear, precise, vivid, mental picture of what we want to be, have or do, and to hold that picture in our minds. The key to using visualization is to get a clear mental picture of yourse as though you already had the characteristics and attribute that you want. Form a clear mental picture of yourself performing at your very best in any situation, and visualize the situation coming out exactly the way you want it to come out.

Side On SELF-HELP

1. Describe a recent situation when your negative expectations came true. 2. What goal could you attain more quickly if you used visualization techniques? How would you go about it? 3. List the techniques you would use to achieve your ideal person goal.

Side Two SELF-ASSESSMENT 1 Are the people with whom I associate high achievers? 2. Do I listen to motivational and inspirational tapes at every opportunity? 3. Do I act like the person I would like to be? 4. Do I read educational or motivational material for at least 20 minutes every morning? 5. Do I have the self-discipline necessary to become the person I want to be? 6. Do I use a "mental rehearsal" to program my subconscious before an important event?

SUMMARY The third technique that we use is to act the part of the person we would like to be, with the characteristics or attributes we would like to have. Carry yourself as though you have self-confidence, enthusiasm, power and vitality, and within a few minutes you'll actually have the feelings that are consistent with that action. We can act or pretend ourselves into feeling the way we want to feel and act, and then it becomes a reality. Autogenic conditioning is one of the foremost techniques to bring about rapid and permanent behavioral and attitudinal change. In autogenic conditioning, you sit down, close your eyes and relax deeply. While you're completely relaxed and your mind has slowed down and you're in complete harmony with yourself, you affirm a goal, form a clear mental image, and visualize yourself with those qualities and attributes or with the things you want to be, have or do. The very best time to use these methods is early in the morning. During the first hour after we awaken in the morning, our subconscious mind is more amenable to new programming than at any other time of the day. As soon as you get up in the morning, say, "I feel terrific! I feel terrific!" Then spend 20 to 30 minutes reading something inspirational, motivational or educational. From then on, all day long, make your life one continuous affirmation. Read books and listen to tapes everywhere you go. Make the decision that for the next 21 days you're going to concentrate single-mindedly on developing one new, positive habit pattern of thought. The most powerful single influence on the people we become is the power of suggestion, the power of the suggested influence in the environment that surrounds us. The people with whom we habitually associate are the single most influential part of our environment. If we are seriously concerned about becoming high achievers, it's important to associate with a positive reference group of achievement-oriented individuals.

There are four techniques we can use to bring about rapic personality change by imbuing the subconscious with a nev series of ideas and pictures and by programming our goal; at a deep subconscious level. First, written-programming technique consists of writing out our goals in specific and precise language and doing so as often as possible. Early in the morning, before you start the day, take two to three minutes to rewrite your major goals. Get a clear mental picture of yourself with the goal attained exactly the way you want it. Second, quick programming technique is used before any nonrecurring event of importance. Whenever you think ol the upcoming event, flash a clear mental picture on the screen of your mind of yourself completely relaxed and in control of that situation. Your subconscious will give you the words, actions, gestures and responses that are exactly consistent with the mental picture you've printed on your brain. Third is the sports-programming technique, which is used by athletes. They go through their entire sports routine in advance in their mind. To use this technique to attain your goals, you must see yourself going through every single step of the event exactly the way you would like to do it in reality. Finally, the standard-programming technique consists of writing out your goals in the form of present-tense, personal, positive affirmations. Relax so that the conscious mind drops into a state of deep relaxation, then read the goal and repeat it three to five times. Get a clear mental picture of yourself actually experiencing the benefit of attaining your goal. Using these techniques will bring about rapid mental programming and will bring our goals and aspirations into reality.

SELF-HELP 1. List the attributes and characteristics of the people with whom you should associate in order to attain your goals. 2. What can you do each morning to get your day off to a good start? 3. Describe one new, positive habit pattern you are going to develop. How will you do it?

Goals and Goal Achieving SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Does criticism prevent me from setting goals? 2. What would I do if I won a million dollars in the lottery tomorrow? 3. What have I done in life that gave me satisfaction and a feeling of importance? 4. What would I attempt if I were guaranteed success? 5. Does fear of failure prevent me from taking risks? 6. What is my area of excellence, in which my greatest interests and abilities lie?

SUMMARY Goal setting is perhaps the most vital achievement skill of all. If any individual - even a person who has not achieved a high level before - becomes a goal setter and writes, thinks and talks about his goals on an ongoing basis, his levels of performance and achievement improve dramatically almost immediately. When we set goals, we develop direction, we develop focused and channeled energy, and we accomplish more in a short time than we could accomplish in years. Why, then, do so few people set goals? The first conclusion is that the majority of people don't understand the importance of goals. The second reason people don't set goals is because they don't know how. The third reason is the fear of rejection - they have found that every time they do set a goal, somebody tells them they can't achieve it. The fourth reason people don't set goals is that they are afraid they may fail. People do not understand the importance of failure in achievement. We have to be willing to risk failure. There is no way we can realize our full potential unless we have failed so many times that eventually we learn the lessons necessary for us to go on to our great achievements. The only thing in life that is inevitable is change. Most of us are uneasy about change because we're afraid that as a result of change we're going to be worse off than we were before. Goals enable us to control the direction of change in our lives. Every human being has average talents and abilities, but every single one of us has the ability to achieve excellence or make an outstanding accomplishment in at least one specific area. It is impossible to fully like and value ourselves unless we know there is at least one thing in the world that we are good at. One of our goals has to be to discover where we can develop excellence. You cat determine your potential area of excellence by looking at what interests you, at the sort of thing that you would do if you were not being paid to do it. According to the acres of diamonds principle, everything w could ever hope for is probably very close at hand; we have the talents and abilities and education and backgrounds to realize our ambitions right in our own communities. Each of us has to have a balance of goals for a balanced life. Goals can be broken down into the following major categories: (1) family and personal goals - these include th things we want to accomplish for our loved ones and for our own pleasure; (2) business and career goals - we must have these goals if were going to be successful financially and (3) self-improvement goals-winning human beings are always working toward a series of self-improvement and self development goals.

SELF-HELP 1. What are the five most important values in your life? What would you sacrifice for? 2. How would you spend your time if you learned you had only six months to live? 3. What have you always wanted to do but were aft aid to attempt?

Side Two SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Are my goals realistic but challenging? 2. Have I written my goals in clear, precise detail? 3. Have I set a deadline for attaining my major goal? 4. Do I believe absolutely that I have the ability to accomplish my goals? 5. Do I use my time effectively? 6. Do I concentrate on one task at a time until it is finished?

SUMMARY All great success starts with selecting one major, definite purpose. If we try to accomplish many things simultaneously, we find that we diffuse and disperse our efforts and end up accomplishing almost nothing. Achieve one critical goal. Then it becomes relatively simple for you to set and achieve a second goal, a third, a fourth and so on. The first step in all goal setting is desire. Desire is the great motivator, the great force that impels us toward our goals. The second step is belief - you must believe without a doubt that you have the ability to achieve the goal. So make your goals challenging but realistic. The third step is to write the goal in complete detail, exactly as you wish to have it. Until a goal is committed to paper, it is not a goal; it is simply a wish. The fourth step is to determine how you will benefit from accomplishing your goal. Write out a specific list of all the advantages you are going to enjoy. The next step is to analyze your current status - where you are right now. If you wish to earn a certain amount of money, figure out exactly how much you are earning today. Step number six is to set a deadline - decide exactly when you are going to accomplish that goal. Step number seven in goal setting is to identify the obstacles you will have to overcome to achieve your goal. You will find that the obstacles that loom large in your mind when you're thinking about them become small whet you write them down on paper. Step number eight is to clearly identify the knowledge you will require in order to accomplish your goal. It is important that you determine what you are going to have to learn. Step number nine is to identify the people, groups and organizations whose cooperation and assistance you will need to attain your goal Concentrate on what you can give, how you can serve, how you can contribute, and how you can compensate and reward others in return for what you want. Step number 10 is to take all the details you've identified in the last three steps and make a plan; make it complete in every detail, with all the activities you are going to have to engage in to accomplish your goal. Step number 11 is to get a clear mental image of your goal as already attained. Every time you get the chance, play that picture of your goal on the screen of your mind. Finally, step number 12 is to back your plan with determination, persistence and resolve to never give up. Your persistence is the direct measure of how much you believe in yourself and in your ability to succeed.

All high achievers use their time well. There are six key points to follow in effective time management. Point number one in effective time management is to have clear, specific measurable goals. The greatest waste of time in our lives is having no idea of what it is we're supposed to accomplish Step number two is to develop detailed plans. It is absolutely essential that we make plans before we start toward any objective. Step number three is to make a list o what you have to do every single day before you start to work. You will be more organized all day, and you'll get more done. Step number four in effective time management is to set priorities on your list. Number each item on your list, and work on the most important item first. Point number five is to concentrate single-mindedly on one thing at a time, and do it until it is finished. Point number six is to develop a sense of urgency. When you have something to do don't put it off; do it right now. Setting goals and thinking about them continuously raises our self-image, moves us toward our self ideal, causes us to like ourselves and moves us toward peak performance and the full realization of our potential.

SELF-HELP 1. Write your major goal.

2.

List five benefits you will enjoy as the result of attaining your major goal

3. What is your current status?

4. When are you going to accomplish your major goal?

5.

List five obstacles you will have to overcome accomplish your major goal.

6.

What knowledge will you have to acquire to accomplish your goal?

Identify the people and organizations whose 7. assistance you will need to attain your goal.

Creative Problem Solving and Decision Making SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Am I a creative person? 2. Do I believe absolutely in the existence and benefits of superconscious capability? 3. Do I believe in the value of my insights and act on them? 4. When I encounter obstacles or setbacks, do I look for the hidden benefits and lessons to be learned? 5. Can I wake up in the morning without an alarm clock? 6. Do I keep only positive thoughts in my mind at all times?

SUMMARY All of us have enormous untapped reserves of creativity that we habitually fail to use. The amount of creativity we use is closely connected to our self-concept and to our attitudes toward ourselves as creative persons. Human creativity has its source in the superconscious mind. By using this superconscious capability, we can move faster toward the achievement of our goals than by using any other human faculty. The superconscious mind is the source of all pure creativity. All great innovations and all major breakthroughs in human history have come as a result of superconscious functioning. Creativity is a way of improving existing ways of doing things. We are creative individuals to the degree to which we find ways to improve the way we do things in any area. When we program a goal or a problem into our subconscious mind, and ask the subconscious mind to solve it for us, the subconscious passes it on to the superconscious capability. The superconscious has access to all data stored in our subconscious mind, and it has the ability to discriminate between valid and invalid data. The superconscious mind functions on a nonconscious level 24 hours a day, and it is always working to resolve problems and to move us toward achieving our goals. Another characteristic of the superconscious is that it is capable of goal-oriented motivation, for which it requires clear, specific goals. The superconscious is triggered by clarity of definition and by decisiveness, and it can release a continuous flow of ideas and energy for goal attainment. The superconscious responds to clear, authoritative commands given in the form of positive affirmations. Whenever we say, "I like myself," "I feel terrific," "I earn $50,000 a year," we trigger the superconscious into action. The superconscious operates best in a spirit of faith and acceptance. The more you believe in it - the more you absolutely trust that you are moving in the direction of your goal and that your goal is moving toward you simultaneously - the more rapidly it seems to work. The harder you try to force it, the less effective it is. The superconscious grows in capability with practice. Another capability of the superconscious mind is the ability to take us through the lessons we need to learn to achieve the goal. It will take us over hurdles, and through mistakes, disappointments, and stumbling blocks which teach us the valuable lessons that enable us to reach our ultimate goal.

An important characteristic of the superconscious mind is that it makes all our words and actions fit a pattern consistent with our self-concept, with our current programming and with the goals we are trying to accomplish. The superconscious mind does not function when we are mulling over our problems or our goals. It works only when we are concentrating totally or when we are not thinking about something at all. The superconscious mind can also be used for programming. We can program our minds to wake up within one minute of a particular time. The only reason we use alarm clocks is because we doubt this superconscious capability. You can tell yourself to make a phone call at a certain time, or to take something from home to the office, and the superconscious will remind you at exactly the right moment. The superconscious mind is the source of all creativity, all intuition, all flashes of insight, all hunches, and of the ability to see things in a brand-new way. The superconscious mind is available to each one of us, like a power source that we can plug into simply by finding the plug.

SELF-HELP 1. List three problems that you solved with a sudden flash of insight. 2. Write your definition of creativity. 3. Describe a recent situation when you were flooded with ideas and energy that probably originated in your superconscious mind.

SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Have I ever tried any specific technique to stimulate my superconscious mind? 2. Do I use only positive language when I am talking about a problem? 3. Do I clearly define all problems and goals in writing? 4. Have I ever tried solitude as a problem-solving method?

SUMMARY Superconscious creativity is stimulated by one of three things: clear, specific goals to which we are totally committed; pressing problems; or relevant questions we ask of ourselves and of other people. If you use the following techniques on a regular basis, you can move rapidly toward the accomplishment of your important goals. The first and simplest of all techniques is solitude. Sit quietly and do absolutely nothing for 30 to 60 minutes. After 20 to 25 minutes, your mind will begin to flow like a river of ideas, and the answers to your most pressing problems, or to your most important goals, will come to you. A second method to stimulate the superconscious is deep relaxation and meditation. You sit very quietly, breathe deeply, count down from 50 to one with your eyes closed, completely relax, and calm your, mind. During that period of complete calmness, or sometimes immediately after it, the ideas you've been seeking will shoot into your mind.

A third method of stimulating the superconscious creativity is surrounding yourself with a natural environment. For example, go for a walk alone, or sit by the ocean. The human being is a creature of nature, and the closer we get back to nature in a relaxed way, the better and the more rapidly our minds work. Mindstorming is a powerful technique that consists of sitting quietly with a pad of paper and writing your major problem or goal in the form of a question. The question might be "How can I increase the value of my service to my customers today?" or "How can I use my time more efficiently today?" Force yourself to write 20 answers to that question. Let your mind flow freely and write every single answer you can possibly think of, but try to make every answer as concrete as possible. Once you've done this exercise, it's important to take at least one of the answers you have generated and implement it immediately. Another method for stimulating the superconscious min is what we call the systematic problem-solving method. To use this method, you must approach every problem a though there were a logical, workable solution. Change yo language from negative to positive. Instead of calling a problem a problem, which is a negative word, call it a situation or a challenge or an opportunity Clearly define the worrisome situation in writing. Itemize all the possib causes of this situation. Clearly identify all the possible solutions, and itemize them without prejudgment and without evaluation. Once you have all the possible solutior then analyze them and choose one or a combination of tho solutions, and make a specific decision. Determine exact what you will have to do to implement the solution, and set a deadline for its completion. Brainstorming is another excellent technique. The ideal number for a brainstorming session is four to seven peopl The ideal time period for a brainstorming session is abou 30 to 45 minutes. You should concentrate on only one thin and that is generating the greatest number of ideas in the shortest period of time. One person should act as the leads of the brainstorming session. Also appoint a scribe, who quickly writes down the ideas as they are generated. Mak the question you are brainstorming as specific, as simple and as clear as possible. Set a deadline on the session, encourage laughter and ridiculous ideas, and make no comments, statements or judgments on any of the ideas; just strive for the greatest possible quantity. How do you know a superconscious flash, a superconscious idea? The idea will come into your mind 100 percent complete - will be total in every respect - and you will recognize it as being the ideal solution. The second way you tell a superconscious solution is that it will be a blinding flash of the obvious. Third, you will feel a burst of joy and energy, a feeling of elation and excitement that causes you to want to implement the solution immediate' Believe that you have this superconscious capability that you can plug into on demand to solve your problems and achieve your goals. The clearer and more precise your goa are and the more committed you are to accomplishing ther the more rapidly the superconscious capability will work to attain them.

SELF-HELP 1.List three current problems or goals that you will solve using the 20-idea mindstorming method. 2. Nine steps in the systematic problem-solving method are listed below. Use this method to solve a current problem. Write comments on the method's usefulness. A. Assume a logical, workable solution. B. Use only positive language. C. Define the situation in writing. D. List all possible causes of this situation. E. List all possible solutions to this situation. E Make a clear, specific decision. G. Assign specific responsibility for implementing the solution. H. Set a deadline for implementing the solution. I. Take action.

Superior Human Relations SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Do I look for the good in any situation? 2. Do I get along well with different types of people? 3. Do I try to build other people's self-esteem? 4. Do I accept people as they are? 5. Am I a good listener?

SUMMARY In the study of superior human relations, one of the most important laws is what we call the law of indirect effort. The law of indirect effort says that in our activities with other people, we get almost everything we want in an indirect rather than in a direct way. We achieve happiness not by trying to become happy but by engaging in activities on a day-to-day basis that we find valuable and worthwhile. The finest way to impress another person is to be impressed by him. If we want other people to respect us, the surest way to achieve that is to respect other people. An individual has a healthy personality to the degree to which he can get along with the greatest number of different types of people. A person with high, genuine levels of self-esteem and self-acceptance has, naturally and without effort, the ability to get along with the greatest number of other people. What can we do on a day-to-day basis to improve the quality of our relationships with others? Aside from working on ourselves, what can we do to, with and for other people to improve the quality of our interactions with them? Everything we do to raise the self-esteem of others will increase the quality of our human relations. If we go through life doing everything possible to make other people feel good and valuable about themselves, we automatically feel valuable and good about ourselves. What can we do to make other people feel important? First of all is acceptance, which is one of the deepest cravings of human nature. We can accept another person totally and unconditionally without judgment. The second thing we can do to make other people feel important is approval. We can praise and reinforce everything a person does that is right or good. Another thing we can do isto express appreciation or gratitude, which causes other people to feel that what they're doing and saying is of value and consequence. Admiration is a tremendous way of building the self-esteem of another person. We can admire traits, such as punctuality or generosity, or possessions - things people own. If our aim is to develop high levels of self-esteem in others, to make other people feel valuable about themselves, we must never criticize. Nothing destroys human personalities, undermines self-esteem, lowers self-confidence and causes negative - if not hostile and violent - reactions more than destructive criticism. Never argue with other people. When we argue with others, we're saying to them, in effect, that their thoughts, opinions and values are wrong.

The more attention we pay to other people, the more we convey to them that we consider them to be valuable and important. We pay attention primarily by listening. In listening we find three things happen. Intent listening builds trust between the two parties. Listening builds character in the listener because active, concentrated listening takes self-discipline. Listening builds self-esteem in the person listened to. There are several techniques involved in effective listening. Face the person squarely, lean forward, and concentrate totally, without mental wandering or interruption. Pause before replying, which conveys to the person that you are giving careful consideration to what he is saying. If a person has made a point and it is unclear to you, say, "What I understand you're saying is this," and feed it back to him. Ask open-ended questions to help the person express himself fully. The most important place to start developing superior human relations is in marriages and relationships. The first problem that arises in marriages and relationships is lack of commitment. A lack of commitment in a relationship suggests to the other party that he or she is not good enough for total commitment. If one person has the courage to commit himself wholeheartedly to the relationship, it often gives the other person the same courage.

SELF-HELP 1. How would you raise another person's self-esteem and make him feel valuable? 2. Describe three recent occasions when you criticized other people. How did each of them react? 3. How do you show people that you are listening to them attentively? SELF-ASSESSMENT 1. Do I usually t r y to change another person with whom I have a relationship? 2. Do I frequently suffer jealousy or self-pity? 3. Have I tried to stay in relationships when it became obvious that we had nothing left in common? 4. Do I understand the difference between liking and loving another person? 5. Did my parents show their love for me by physical contact?

SUMMARY Another problem occurs in marriages and relationships when one person tries to change the other or expects the other to change. Nothing puts more stress into a relationship than the suggestion that one person is not quite adequate the way he is. Unless a person sincerely desires to make the change, there's nothing you can get him to do. jealousy is another problem that occurs in relationships and is the result of a low self-concept in the person who experiences the jealousy. The way to overcome jealousy is to work on your self-concept, because a person with a high, positive self-concept and a genuinely high level of self-esteem does not feel jealous.

Another cause of problems in relationships is self-pity feeling sorry for yourself for something the other person has or has not done to or for y o u . The way to deal with self-pity is to work on your self~concept, get busy on your own goals, accept yourself as a valuable person and stop feeling sorry for yourself. The basic rule in relationships is always to expect the best from the other person. From the law of expectations, we know that our expectations, whether positive or negative, of the people close to us always tend to be fulfilled. Always expect others to be successful, continually tell others that you believe in them and trust them, and encourage them to go for their goals and to believe in themselves. Another problem in relationships is incompatibility. As time passes, people may find they have less in common and more characteristics, attitudes and values that are incompatible with each other. When two people find themselves no longer compatible, when they find there is not enough love, happiness and excitement, the best thing they can do is realize that nobody is to blame, move on and get on with their lives.

Side Two There are several important, basic principles of relationships. The first is that similar self-concepts attrack A second principle is that liking and respecting another person is more important and more enduring than lovir him. The third factor is that opposites attract, but only i temperament - the outgoing person must be matched w the less outgoing person and the more dominant persor with the more recessive. In every other aspect, nature requires similarities - similarities in values and in attitudes toward children, money, restaurants, family, politics, living standards, and all other aspects of life. The relationship between parents and children is a very important and special one. We are marked for life by the quality of the interaction that takes place between us an our parents in our formative years. The role of parenting is to nurture high self-esteem. To the degree to which parents nurture high self-esteem in their children, that is the degree to which they have been successful as parent There is nothing that more permanently impairs a child' lifelong effectiveness than destructive criticism by a pare. Nothing builds children into strong, healthy, self-confide adults more surely and more rapidly than a continuous flow of love and approval from their parents. Make your love unconditional; make it crystal clear to your children that there is nothing they could ever do that would cans you to love them less. We show our children that we rea love them through physical contact, through hugging an kissing them and making it clear that we consider them valuable. The more we look at our children with love in our eyes, the more they grow as people. Spend totally uninterrupted, quiet, quality time with eac child every day. Children who know their parents love the unconditionally don't have problems in school and have t strength of character to resist peer pressure in destructi directions. The purpose of life is to develop loving relationships. Wh we look back over our lives, we find that the most enjoyal times were shared with those we love. Love grows only sharing. The more you give away, the more you get back If we can learn to love ourselves and others, we can then go on to the full realization of our human destiny.

SELF-HELP 1. Describe three ways you have changed over the last 10 years. 2. What do you think of the way your parents raised you? What mistakes do you think they made? 3. What do you consider to be the purpose of life?