The Captain's Beloved

A Total-E-Bound Publication

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The Captain’s Beloved ISBN #978-0-85715-586-3 ©Copyright Scarlet Blackwell 2011 Cover Art by April Martinez ©Copyright July 2011 Edited by S. F. Swift Total-E-Bound Publishing This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Total-E-Bound Publishing. Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Total-E-Bound Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution. The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork. Published in 2011 by Total-E-Bound Publishing, Think Tank, Ruston Way, Lincoln, LN6 7FL, United Kingdom.

Warning: This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This story has been rated Total-e-melting.

THE CAPTAIN’S BELOVED Scarlet Blackwell

Trademarks Acknowledgement The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction: Captain America: MVL Rights LLC Limited Liability Company Kindle: Amazon Technologies Inc. Rolex: Rolex Watch USA, Inc. I Touch Myself: Divinyls

THE CAPTAIN’S BELOVED

Scarlet Blackwell

5

Chapter One

Captain Kane Kessler had been back in Josh Addison’s life exactly five minutes and already he was trying to touch him intimately, pawing at him through his clothes in the hall as Josh tried to kick his shoes off, giggling, falling over his feet. “Wait…wait…just let me…” Kane growled. His own shoes were long gone, his coat on the floor. He grabbed Josh, swept him up into his arms and carried him through the living room towards the stairs. Josh clung on, panting in excitement, his last shoe dropping off halfway up the stairs. Kane paused at the top, looking at the three doors ahead of him. “Which one?” “Straight ahead.” Kane leant down to devour his mouth as he carried Josh into his bedroom, dropping him unceremoniously onto the bed. “Strip.” Josh scrambled to obey. Oh God, never in his wildest fantasies had he imagined any reunion with Kane to go this way. Never had he expected Kane to stride back into his life and take command the way he ran that cruise ship where he’d seduced Josh effortlessly last summer. Josh wore his less sexy boxers, hardly expecting to come home from work to an evening of passion. But Kane, intent on stripping, didn’t seem to notice in the darkness of the room. Instead, he stood naked and grinning at the end of Josh’s bed as though awaiting inspection. Josh tossed the boxers into a dark corner. He groaned, gripping the bed covers as his gaze took in the chiselled jaw and midnight black hair of the captain before he feasted his eyes on his six feet two of hard muscle and his glorious cock. “Shit, I think you might have got even hotter, if that’s possible.” Kane’s grin widened, grey eyes glinting. “Now I know why I like you so much, Josh.” Josh’s smile slipped slightly. Kane’s ego he could do without, a gentle reminder that Josh wasn’t in his league and was lucky Kane had ever noticed him. Not that Kane had ever said that when they were together. On the contrary, he had showered Josh with compliments and told him he was beautiful. Josh’s inferiority complex was all in his own imagination.

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Kane grabbed his pants and dug into the pocket. He dropped a box of condoms and a tube of lubricant on the bed. Then he pounced. They kissed, Kane holding Josh’s hands down by his head in a way which drove his excitement to boiling point. When Josh flexed his wrists, Kane merely pressed harder until Josh whimpered, bucking his erection into Kane’s, desperate to touch him. Kane let go and sat back on his heels, smirking. He reached for the condom box and unwrapped it before he took out one foil square, tearing it open. Perhaps he saw the disappointed look on Josh’s face as he rolled the condom on because he said, “This might not be the romantic reunion you were hoping for and more of a wham, bam, thank you man, and I’m sorry about that, but Josh baby, if you so much as touch me, I’ll explode.” He always read Josh just right, but he always knew just what to say too. “It’s okay,” he said softly, running his hands up Kane’s bare thighs. Kane opened the lube. “You sure?” “Yes. I want you.” “Good.” Kane leant down to kiss him. Wet fingers probed gently between Josh’s legs. Kane left a trail of searing kisses down Josh’s torso to his groin. He sucked Josh’s cock down while he fingered him. Josh writhed beneath him, gripping Kane’s hair. “Fuck, oh Kane, I missed you, I missed you.” He could have bitten his tongue off. Well done, Josh, he’s here ten minutes and already you’re getting all emotional. He’ll be out the door as soon as he’s shot his load. Kane looked up from beneath dense lashes, eyes unreadable in the darkness. He slid off Josh’s cock and settled himself on his arms over him. “I missed you too,” he whispered with lips an inch away from Josh’s as he thrust into him. Josh arched up in shock, clawing Kane’s back. He’d had no one in four months and the pain-pleasure of the penetration was exquisite. He danced along a line of ecstasy so doubleedged as Kane fucked him, he was not sure whether to beg him to stop or scream for more. Kane noticed. He stopped his movements. “Are you okay?” He stroked damp hair back gently from Josh’s face. “Yes, yes.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.”

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“Can you take this?” “I think I proved I could take you last summer.” “That was last summer. Has it been a while?” Kane held steady eye contact. He was asking Josh if there’d been anyone else since him. Cornered, Josh didn’t want to admit there’d been no one else…that made him look like the sad, lonely bastard he was, lying around at home pining for Kane. Nor did he want to lie and make himself out to be the biggest slut in Alaska. Instead he clasped Kane’s buttocks, pulling him closer. “Please, Kane.” Kane sighed. He cupped Josh’s head in a big hand and kissed him. Something about this kiss seemed different from those two weeks Josh had spent with him. He seemed…softer, less abrasive, more tender. Josh was sure he imagined it. Kane was just trying to ease Josh back into the saddle with minimum fuss. That was all. Kane rocked forward slowly. Josh sucked in his breath as Kane nudged his prostate. Kane carried on with the slow, easy movements and Josh floated away into paradise. He remembered the rough love the two of them had enjoyed on a couple of occasions. The love Kane was ashamed of after, because that wasn’t him. Now he was proving that slow and easy had its place too and could be just as good. Josh never imagined that the frenzied kissing in the hall downstairs and the frantic stripping a few minutes ago would lead to this. A slow burn like they had all the time in the world. And they did. At least four months anyway. Josh wrapped his limbs around Kane, holding him tight, meeting every tilt of his pelvis with his own. They kissed, lips not breaking, panting into each other’s mouth and Josh felt the dizzying climb to orgasm begin. Kane slid a hand between their bodies. He stroked Josh leisurely, an unhurried pace in time with his thrusts. Josh started to gasp and moan and cling harder to his lover. Kane’s tongue wrapped around his. He thrust deeper and more firmly and Josh’s toes curled. For a few strokes, Kane plundered him like those nights on the ship and Josh cried out, shuddering long and hard as he came. Kane gave a soft gasp. He gradually stopped, his flushed face against Josh’s neck, planting feverish kisses. “Beautiful,” he muttered. “You’re beautiful.”

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Post-orgasm, Josh was always emotional. He turned his face away to hide the sudden tears in his eyes. Kane was back. He was the luckiest man on the planet.

**** Once they were out of bed, Josh felt awkward, bustling around in the kitchen while Kane sat on his couch wearing a robe which was too small, watching TV. His hands shook while making coffee. Previously, they’d never fucked anywhere except on the ship or in a hotel room and that “relationship” had lasted only two weeks. Reality had never touched them. Now Kane sat in Josh’s house perhaps for the next few months and Josh didn’t know how to handle him. He didn’t want Kane to see him, warts and all, in his home environment. The cruise had been mammoth late nights and fuckathons, but home, Josh was a sad, geeky little bookworm who preferred curling up with cocoa rather than going out. His lover would soon realise Josh wasn’t all that exciting when he was back home in Anchorage. He felt deflated, the post-coital glow gone. He took two mugs out to the living room and put them down on the coffee table. “Thanks. Come here.” Reaching for Josh, Kane drew him onto the couch and into his arms. “What was going on in there? I have eyes, you know.” “What do you mean?” Josh avoided his gaze, cheeks heating. “I mean your little anxious fretting over the coffee. What’s wrong?” Josh buried his face in Kane’s shoulder. “I’m nervous.” “I know you are, baby. And I am too. This is a big deal. Something I don’t normally do.” Kane stroked his head. “Let’s just take this one day at a time. Any time you want me to go, you just say the word. If you want me to go now, I will.” Josh jerked his head up. “No!” Kane laughed. “All right, perhaps not now. You’d be a bastard if you threw me out as soon as you’d come anyhow.” Josh smiled shyly. “But you could stay till March if you wanted?” Crap. He’d said too much. He regretted the words as soon as they’d left his mouth. Kane sighed, looking away. “I don’t think so. You’ll be bored with me long before then.” He kissed Josh on the forehead and held him close. Josh closed his eyes, already anticipating the end.

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Chapter Two

“What time is it?” Kane mumbled through the dark as Josh tried to slide from the bed without waking him. “Seven. Go back to sleep. I have to go to work.” Kane grunted. He stretched lazily. “Work? What’s that?” “Yeah well, just because you’re a part timer, fucking your way around—” Kane dragged him back into bed. “Your smart mouth hasn’t changed one bit,” he growled, wrestling Josh onto his back. “Let me go I have to—” “You don’t have to do anything. Not if I tie you to this bed and keep you here as my sex slave.” Josh shuddered. “Knock it off, Kane, I don’t have time.” Kane let him go, grumbling. “From now on, set the alarm for six so I can send you off with something warm inside you.” He cackled at his own joke. Josh got up. He looked over his shoulder as he pulled his robe on. “You know, if you’d told me you were coming, I would have taken a vacation so I could spend more time with you.” Kane yawned. “You’ll hate my guts if you spend twenty-four seven with me. It’s better this way. I can entertain myself.” “Can you?” “Of course. I’ll keep your bed warm until you come home.” Josh groaned. “How am I supposed to do a full day’s work knowing you’re lying naked in my bed waiting for me to come home?” “Who said I’d be lying naked? Perhaps I’ll wear those ultra sexy fleecy pyjamas of yours I found under the pillow last night.” “Bastard.” Kane grinned. “Bring me some tea before you go, love, no sugar.” He turned over on his side, pulling the duvet over his head.

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Josh looked at him longingly. It wasn’t fair. In a perfect world he would win the lottery so he and Kane could stay at home and fuck like bunnies.

**** Josh was dressed and ready to go when he took Kane’s tea upstairs. “Kane,” he whispered, shaking his shoulder. “Your tea.” Kane’s head appeared, black hair dishevelled. He blinked a few times before he focused in the light spilling in from the landing. “Mmm, Josh Addison in a suit. That’s a picture that’s going to keep me warm the rest of my days.” “Cut it out,” Josh said shyly. “Cut what out, you adorable bundle of love?” He pulled Josh down onto him and kissed him. Josh squirmed, trying half-heartedly to pull away. “I’m late, Kane.” Kane dropped kisses on his throat. “Come back soon.” “I will.” Josh disentangled himself. “Have a good sleep.” He kissed Kane’s forehead and left the room. As he scraped snow off his car in the driveway, he looked up at the dark bedroom window. Kane’s affection was something new. On the cruise he had been rather more closed with his display of feelings. Josh couldn’t forget Kane’s parting words as they kissed goodbye at the airport. Don’t you cry. Don’t you fucking dare. What had changed? Josh doubted this show of tenderness would last long. Kane would soon tire of Josh’s neediness.

**** Kane awoke again at eleven. He went down the hall to the bathroom to pee before he opened his suitcase and got out his toiletry bag. He’d used Josh’s toothbrush last night which was hardly hygienic but then he did less hygienic things with Josh. He took a leisurely shower in the immaculate bathroom which boasted a glittering black tiled floor and a huge mirror on one wall, together with separate bath and shower cubicle. Clearly Josh and his ex-

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boyfriend had spent a lot of money on it. He poked about downstairs until he found the thermostat on the central heating and turned it up. Jesus, it was cold here! He’d have to leave Josh some cash for the heating bills when he left. He made some coffee and proceeded to have a long look around Josh’s house. He preferred to think of it as discovering more about Josh rather than snooping. It was a nice place. The kitchen was spacious and all glittering granite work surfaces, the living room homey and dominated by a huge ornate fireplace. Upstairs there were two bedrooms, the spare one containing a small bed and a computer desk. Josh’s bedroom was neat and tidy. At least it had been until Kane arrived and threw his shit all over the place. His bed was a king size, with an intricately carved wooden frame covered with a patchwork velvet throw and sheets of the softest cotton. One wall was painted red and on it hung what looked like an antique mirror with a wrought iron frame like a starburst, crystals sparkling around it. The chest of drawers looked antique too, heavy and sturdy. The lamps by the bed had delicate silver shades patterned with beads and sequins. The room was beautiful. Kane would have been quite happy to spend the better part of three months in here catering to Josh’s needs. Kane retreated along the landing and went back downstairs. On the huge bookshelves lining one wall, he dissected Josh’s CD, DVD and book collections thoroughly, snorting at some of the chick-flicks and romance novels he found. Finally he got dressed, channel surfed a while then settled down with a bowl of cereal and a paperback. His mind kept wandering. He’d told himself when Josh left the ship that visiting him in Alaska would be the worst idea ever. He’d carried on telling himself that all summer and, lo and behold, he’d been back in Miami two days before he was on a plane to Anchorage. What was the matter with him? Josh had already claimed he loved him after two weeks together onboard. Did Kane want to encourage Josh further, leave him broken- hearted? Most important of all was the sly little voice that Kane pushed to the back of his mind over and over again. What if you fell in love with Josh? What then?

****

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Josh opened the door, kicking his shoes off on the mat. The heat of the house was stifling. He hung up his coat and scarf, then carried his briefcase into the living room, where Kane was reclined full length on the couch, reading one of Josh’s novels. “The Vintner’s Luck. I approve.” Kane lowered the book, smiling. “I’m not a big reader but you might have converted me here. I haven’t cried in years but I get the feeling I’m going to when Sobran dies.” Josh nodded. He tossed his briefcase on a chair. “I did.” “Yeah, well, you’re a bit soft aren’t you?” Josh glared. “I must be to let you stay.” Kane glowered back at him. “So you don’t want your personal captain lying waiting every night for you after a hard day at the office?” He put the book face down on the floor, one of Josh’s pet peeves. Kane spread his legs, the tight jeans he wore doing little to conceal what he was packing. Josh swallowed. “What do you want for dinner?” “Fuck dinner. Come here.” Kane grabbed his hand and pulled Josh down onto him, giving him a punishing kiss. Josh groaned, one thigh between Kane’s, pressing against his hardness. Kane pulled Josh’s shirt free from his pants. His fingers slid up Josh’s chest, stroking, zeroing in on one nipple, which he pinched lightly. Josh arched. He started work on Kane’s belt while Kane did the same to him. They released each other’s cocks, stroked them simultaneously while they kissed. “Fuck,” Josh moaned. “Don’t suppose you’ve got a condom down here, have you?” Kane shook his head. “I should start secreting them around the house so I can take you in any room I choose.” “Sounds like a plan.” Josh kissed him again. He rocked forward into Kane’s hand, holding himself above him with one arm. Kane’s other hand slid down Josh’s back and into his pants, cupping his buttocks, pulling him closer. The kiss became heavy with passion. Josh panted for breath. For a moment he watched Kane’s beautiful face and the pleasure on it. What a lucky man Josh was. His cock strained in Kane’s hand, the orgasm close.

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Kane hissed, lifting his pelvis. He craned up for another kiss and Josh delivered it as Kane shuddered, pumping semen over Josh’s fingers. Josh groaned in pleasure as he watched. Kane leant back with eyes closed, his cheeks flushed, a slight smile on his lips, his fingers still around Josh’s cock but barely moving. Josh was almost there. He pushed Kane’s useless hand away and put his own sticky hand around himself, using Kane’s cum as lubrication as he brought himself off, spurting over Kane’s shirt. He collapsed onto Kane, gasping. His lover put an arm around him. “Sorry,” he muttered. Josh didn’t reply. He didn’t much care. He had come while lying on top of his beautiful lover, never mind whose hand had delivered it. He felt soft and dreamy in the aftermath as he always did where Kane was concerned. They lay there a while cuddling. “So what’s for dinner?” Kane finally asked. “Typical man,” Josh grumbled. “You’ve satisfied your dick, so your belly comes next.” Kane winked. “You got it.” “Well, I’ve got some bad news for you. While you’re at my house, you eat vegetarian. Sorry about that.” He waited for Kane to hit the roof. Last night they’d eaten grilled cheese sandwiches in bed and the subject hadn’t arisen. Kane shrugged. “Fine.” He smiled at the expression on Josh’s face. “What? Expected me to flip out like the typical carnivore? Well, I’m not. I couldn’t give a shit. I’m sure whatever you make will be delicious.” Josh was swamped with sudden affection. Those shocking words danced on his tongue. Those words he had confessed to Kane during sex on the ship, the ones Kane hadn’t been too impressed with. Whatever Josh did, he couldn’t allow them to spill out while Kane was here. His lover wouldn’t be seen for dust. Instead, he kissed Kane sweetly. “Thank you, darling.” Kane smiled. He stroked Josh’s hair with a tender expression on his face a moment. Then he slapped him on the ass. “Now get in that kitchen, boy.”

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Chapter Three

“You weren’t too bored here on your own?” Josh asked as they sat at the glass kitchen table. Kane shook his head, dipping a spoon into butternut squash soup. “Not with all your books to keep me company.” Josh smiled shyly. He worried Kane would get rapidly fed up. “Still, you should get out and see some of Anchorage.” Kane regarded him, head cocked. “You’re just trying to get me out of your house during the day so you can turn your heating off.” Josh smiled. “Don’t be silly.” Kane finished his soup and ate a last bite of bread. “I’ll get out when I’m good and ready. I want to rest up a bit. It’s been a hard few months at sea.” “I know just how hard it was.” Kane grinned. “Stop that or we won’t make it to the main course.” Josh smirked. He took their bowls to the sink. “Are you off at weekend?” “Yes.” “Then we’ll get out and do something. Any good gay bars in town? I don’t want to worry about being all over you like a rash when I’m drunk.” “A couple.” “Good. And I need to join a gym before I get fat.” “Not going to happen with my cooking.” Josh dished up mushroom risotto atop a bed of greens. Kane eyed it. “You don’t say.” Josh sat. “I could drop you at my gym tomorrow on my way to work. I have to warn you, though, there’s a lot of hot guys there.” Kane took a mouthful of his food. “Really? Think I’d come all the way here and fuck around on you? I could do that in Miami.”

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Their eyes met for a moment. Josh lowered his head, face hot. His chest felt tight with emotion. At this moment in time, he was Kane’s one and only. How could he string this out and make it last forever? Kane cleared his throat. “So does this mean I have to get up early tomorrow?” “Afraid so.” “Damn it. Remember we’re setting the clock for six to fool around.” Josh smiled. “You’ll be worn out before you get to the gym.” “Don’t worry about me.” Kane drank some wine. “I’ll come back home tomorrow with enough stamina to go three rounds with you.” “I don’t doubt that.”

**** They lay together cuddling on the couch after they’d tidied the kitchen, Kane commandeering the remote, saying, “After seeing some of your DVDs, I think it’s safer if you let me have this.” He channel-surfed while Josh nuzzled Kane’s neck, breathing in his wonderful scent. He ran a hand absent-mindedly up and down Josh’s back. “Great dinner.” “Thank you. Probably not like the extravagant five courses you get every night on board the ship, though.” Kane kissed the top of his head. “Yeah, and I always come back heavier after a cruise.” “You don’t look any different than when I last saw you.” Josh squeezed a hard bicep. “Still perfect.” “You’re good for my ego, but I don’t feel in good condition. I never do when it gets to November.” Josh slid down the couch. He pushed Kane’s shirt up. “Hard pecs still in place. Check.” He punctuated the word with a kiss. “Six pack still in place. Check.” He moved further down. “Porn star package still in place. Check.” He nuzzled Kane’s denim-clad groin. Kane laughed a little. His fingers raked Josh’s hair. “I couldn’t help noticing that big bathtub of yours. And as you’ve no doubt had a long, hard day, perhaps I could soap your back while you relax?”

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“That sounds fantastic.” Josh planted a few more kisses on Kane’s flat, tanned belly. “I’ll go turn on the taps.” Kane switched channels to see David Boreanaz shirtless as the vampire Angel. “I’ll…um…be right up.” Josh rolled his eyes and left him to it.

**** Josh lay below scented bubbles by the time Kane came upstairs. Hedging his bets, a condom and lube sat on the edge of the bath. While Josh watched, Kane stripped, stepping forward with a half-hard cock. “Scoot forward.” Josh did so. Kane climbed in behind Josh, legs and arms embracing him. He lowered his mouth to one wet shoulder. Josh sank back with a sigh. He turned his head as Kane kissed his neck. Kane’s mouth found his jaw before his lips closed over Josh’s. Josh drifted away into bliss as they kissed. They way Kane held him, it felt like they had always been together, like they were old hands, familiar soulmates. He shook himself from his thoughts. He had to keep something of himself back. He had to remember Kane could be gone as suddenly as he had arrived. Kane’s hands moved over Josh’s torso, stroking, playing with one nipple while the other hand moved farther down, touching Josh’s inner thighs. Josh spread his legs a little, catching his breath as Kane cupped his balls, squeezing gently. His fingertips travelled over Josh’s stiffening cock, teasing. Josh ran his hands along Kane’s muscular thighs. The kiss continued, growing deeper, more insistent. Kane took Josh’s cock and fisted it at a slow pace. The only sounds were the water rippling and Josh’s breathing. He moaned into Kane’s mouth. “I want you.” “I want you too. Answer me something. When you got home, did you think of me when you jerked off?” “God, yes. I jerked off once a day over you.” “Only once a day?” Kane smiled. “I jerked off at least twice a day over you.”

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Josh opened his eyes and turned his head to judge the expression on Kane’s face. He seemed serious. Josh’s chest swelled with pride. “I used the glass dildo you gave me and imagined you inside me.” A low rumble came from Kane’s throat. “Sit on the edge of the bath.” Josh did as he was told, adjusting his position gingerly, leaning against the wall. Kane knelt, pushed Josh’s knees apart and took his cock in his mouth. Josh groaned. He clutched at Kane’s hair with a wet hand. Kane sucked eagerly. He drew his tongue up and down Josh’s hard shaft and licked his balls. While he did, he opened the lube and put some on the fingers of his right hand. Josh squirmed as Kane fingered him delicately while he sucked. He ached with need, his cock throbbing. Kane’s mouth was hot and wicked. He swallowed Josh almost down to his balls over and over while fingers worked inside him. Josh needed to come desperately. “Please…” he moaned, trying to draw back as the orgasm rose, trying to prevent it. The head of his cock was still in Kane’s mouth as he came. Josh gasped, watching as the semen bubbled over his lips, flooded down Kane’s chin. Instead of stopping, Kane sank down on him again, sucked him clean, came back up for air with the creamy fluid still around his mouth. He looked up at Josh wantonly from below his lashes. Josh’s cock actually twitched with renewed desire. He touched Kane’s mouth. Kane slowly licked his lips. “Make a habit of coming on my face, don’t you?” Josh remembered the first night they had spent together, where he’d ridden Kane until he’d spurted so far, he’d actually got it on his lover’s chin. “I’m sorry,” he said contritely, trying not to laugh. Kane pretended to scowl. Then he scooped some of the semen off his chin with his finger and pushed it into Josh. Josh gasped. “What’s the matter, never been fucked with your own cum as lube before?” Kane grinned, grey eyes glittering with violet sparks. “You’re a dirty boy.”

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“And it’s the way you like me. I haven’t forgotten that you forced me to suck myself off in front of you.” Josh huffed. “You didn’t need forcing, you couldn’t wait to get your cock in your mouth.” Kane continued to smirk. Two fingers worked at Josh. “Have you done it since?” Josh asked, pushing rhythmically at the fingers in his ass. “What? Sucked myself off? Sure. I thought of you while I did. How you fucked me with that dildo while I sucked my own cock.” Josh’s cock swelled again. “I want to video you.” Kane laughed. “I want to video you taking my cock, so we’ll see.” Josh clutched at his wrist. “Fuck me. Please.” “Get out and kneel on all fours.” Taking orders from Kane excited Josh and he practically leapt out of the bath. He didn’t bother to dry himself, just spread a towel on the floor and knelt, ass presented. He watched as Kane put on the condom, then came over to him. Kane’s hand slid slowly down Josh’s spine. He arched, and Kane pressed his cock into Josh’s backside, spearing him. “Fuck.” Kane leant forward and bit him playfully on the shoulder. “Good?” “Yes. No one’s ever filled me like you do.” Josh pushed back, greedily taking every inch. Kane laughed softly. He reached beneath Josh for his cock. “Your stamina’s impressive today.” “You taught me all I know about stamina.” “Obviously.” An arm wrapped around Josh, pulling him back into a kiss. He shuddered as long, smooth strokes plundered him. He sat back on Kane’s lap and his lover thrust up into him, increasing his pace gradually. Kane held him so firmly, so possessively and his mouth was so hot and demanding on his throat, his face, his lips…Josh burned with pride. He still couldn’t understand how he had captured this perfect man. Kane’s hand found his cock. “Come on,” he said into Josh’s ear and Josh’s body obeyed, delivering his third climax of the day. How exactly was he going to continue to match Kane and his demands? He was sure he would be completely wrung out by weekend.

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Kane held him hard and reached his own climax as Josh lay limply against his shoulder. His chest heaved against Josh’s back. He buried his face in Josh’s neck, sighing in satisfaction.

**** They lay side by side, wet and naked on the bathroom floor. Kane nuzzled Josh’s face. “I hope your knees aren’t too sore.” “I’m okay. It was worth it.” Kane sat up and held out a hand. “Come on.” He dried Josh thoroughly with a big towel. Josh enjoyed the attention, lifting each limb obediently. He brushed his teeth while Kane towelled himself. “Go get in bed, I’ll tidy up in here.” Kane motioned. Josh went into the bedroom and switched on the bedside lamp. He heard the slow gurgling of the bath water draining away and Kane moving about. He left his spare key on the bedside table for Kane tomorrow and slid between the covers. Tiredness sucked him down quickly. He glanced at the alarm clock. Shit, it was only nine o’clock. Kane was going to find out on their first full day together that Josh was a bore who liked to be in bed early. But Kane had suggested going to bed. Josh glanced at the door with trepidation as Kane strode in naked, flicking off the landing light. He crawled quickly into bed, settling his head against Josh’s chest, an arm over him. Josh stroked his damp hair. Kane yawned. He closed his eyes and Josh looked at the dark lashes feathered across his cheeks. “Tired?” he asked tentatively. “Yeah.” “You haven’t done anything all day.” “Fucking you really takes it out of me.” Kane lifted his head with a grin. “Come here and give me a cuddle before you go to sleep.” He slid up Josh’s body and pulled him onto his side, holding him close, cradling his head. Josh melted into the embrace. Again he noticed how different Kane’s behaviour was from onboard the ship, when he was driven by one need and one need only. When he had demanded that Josh show no emotion.

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“You’re different, Kane,” he murmured against his lover’s shoulder. Kane stiffened and drew back to look at him. “What do you mean?” “I don’t know. You seem…more tender. Thoughtful.” Kane eyed him and seemed reluctant to speak. Then he said, “We’re in a different situation now. I can’t be the man I was onboard the ship or you would probably send me away. I don’t want you to do that just yet.” Josh swallowed the lump in his throat. “Don’t pretend to be something you’re not just for me.” “Who said I was pretending?” Kane held his gaze steadily. Confusion and emotion spread quickly through Josh. He didn’t know if everything Kane did was carefully calculated so he could fuck Josh as many times as possible before he got bored. Josh didn’t know if Kane’s soft words and easy mannerisms were real. On the cruise, he’d asked Josh to write down his address just in case, but had said he couldn’t promise anything. Nothing at all. He’d told him in the past that every time he’d hooked up with a guy from the ship back in the States, the thrill of getting caught and the romance of the ship had always faded into nothing. Time would inexorably pull Kane away from him. “What’s the matter?” “Nothing.” Kane sighed. “You’ve got a tendency to overanalyse everything, to think about the future when you should live for today. Just go with the flow.” Josh hid his face against his shoulder. Kane’s arms tightened around him. He said nothing further as they drifted into sleep.

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Chapter Four

The alarm clock played a soothing ballad, awakening Josh. He stretched and again marvelled at the sensation of warm skin against his, a feeling he’d forgotten since Drew had walked out on him all those months ago. Kane shifted. He mouthed Josh’s neck. “Too early. Too dark.” “I know. You can stay here. You don’t have to go to the gym today.” “No, I do. Kick my lazy ass out of bed.” Josh smiled. He ran a hand down the curve of Kane’s spine and onto his buttocks, feeling each muscular globe. “I wonder if the men and women of Anchorage know what’s coming today.” Kane grunted. “What’s coming is me, bad-tempered and grumbling about the fucking weather.” “Poor baby. Will some coffee bring you to life?” “It might.” “Anything to eat?” “No, I’ll get something later.” Josh kissed Kane’s dishevelled hair. He slid out of bed and pulled on his robe, shivering despite the fact the central heating had fired up already, set on a timer. He went to the bathroom, peed and washed his face. Then downstairs to make coffee. Kane still lay motionless beneath the covers when Josh returned. He left the coffee on his bedside table and shook Kane’s shoulder to alert him. He took his mug into the bathroom and started to shave. One side of his face covered in foam, Josh was half way through when movement attracted his attention. He watched in the mirror as a naked Kane walked along the landing and into the bathroom. “You make good coffee, Josh.” “Thank you.” Kane put up the toilet seat and started to pee while Josh watched. He looked away, embarrassed. He’d been as intimate with Drew, but they’d been five years strong, not two

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weeks. He went back to shaving, listening to the sound of urine splashing on porcelain and trying not to look. Kane finished. He politely put down the seat and lid before flushing, then elbowed Josh away from the sink to wash his hands. “You missed a bit.” “I haven’t finished yet.” Kane ignored him. “There, under your chin. Give me that.” Kane took the razor from him. He tilted Josh’s head back and carefully scraped up his throat. “Better. Let me do the rest.” Josh stood still while Kane finished the other half of his face. There was something rather nice about being shaved. Drew had shaved him a few times in the bath, with lots of laughing and horsing around. Kane set down the razor. Josh leaned over the sink and washed his face. “Not bad,” he said, admiring his face in the mirror. Kane stood behind him, an arm around his waist. “Not bad at all,” he said, pressing his lips to one shoulder. Josh’s face heated in pleasure. “Want me to return the favour?” “Nah, I’m not shaving, I’m on vacation.” “Okay, but you better not get too prickly or too hairy.” “Not your scene?” “No.” “Guess I’d better do my balls then.” Josh snorted. “They look fine to me.” He turned around, fondling Kane’s smooth sac. “That’s because I had a sac and crack wax before I came here. Just for you.” Josh grinned. “I’m flattered.” “So you should be. It was like a forest down there by the end of the cruise.” Josh regarded him. He hesitated before he asked the question forever dancing on his tongue. “Were there…many men after me?” Kane’s jovial expression darkened. He ruffled Josh’s hair. “Come on now, behave yourself.” “What do you mean?” Kane turned and walked back into the bedroom.

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Irritated, Josh followed. Kane was dragging some clothes out of the bag he had yet to unpack. “Aren’t you going to answer me?” Kane faced Josh, dark brows drawn together. “I knew it would only be a matter of time before you started cross-examining me. Didn’t I tell you I wasn’t a monk at sea? Do you really think I kept myself just for you all these months?” Josh was stung. “Hey, you asked me first!” “What?” “You asked me if there’d been anyone else. On our first night.” “I asked you if it had been a while. There’s a difference. And I was only asking in case I hurt you.” “So you didn’t care if there’d been anyone else?” Kane dragged on a pair of boxers and stepped into some jeans. He shrugged. “Why should I?” He locked gazes with Josh. Josh dressed in silence.

**** “Still sulking?” Kane asked as Josh drove into town. The roads were heavy-going, the darkness still absolute. “You’re like a child.” “Fuck you,” Josh hissed. “Poor Josh, he doesn’t live in the real world and hates it when someone tells him something he doesn’t want to hear.” “Go to fucking hell!” “There were plenty of men after you. Plenty. You either get over that or I go home now, your choice.” Josh clamped his lips together. He shook with anger. What a mean, spiteful bastard Kane was when he got going. How could Josh have forgotten? And he’d actually thought Kane had been tender the previous night. Kane was watching him but Josh looked straight ahead, refusing to answer. He finally negotiated the traffic and parked in his space at work. “The gym is just across the road.” Gesturing over his shoulder, he switched off the ignition. “Okay.” Kane leaned towards him. “Give me a kiss before you go.”

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Josh pushed him back. “Get the hell off me.” Kane’s grey eyes darkened. Lips tight, he got out of the car and walked away without another word. Josh got out. He swung his briefcase from the back seat and watched Kane cross the busy road. Was he even going to find his way back home? He hadn’t told Kane which bus to get or asked if he remembered Josh’s address. He hoped Kane wouldn’t come into the office to find him. Unhappily, he made his way inside.

At his desk, he brooded, answering his colleagues monosyllabically. Finally, he placed a call to Des Moines and his partners in crime from the cruise. A familiar voice answered. “Hello?” “Freddie, it’s Josh.” “Darling! How are you?” Josh smiled despite himself at Freddie’s enthusiasm. Freddie and his partner Erik had been the perfect neighbours during the vacation, having kept Josh from drowning in self-pity after Drew had dumped him just before the cruise. They had also been instrumental in getting Josh on Kane’s radar. “I’m okay. How’s Erik?” “Just fine, sweetie. Had some photos taken of him yesterday modelling my winter collection.” “That’s great. Listen, I’ve something to tell you.” “You’re pregnant and you want me to be godmother. I accept!” “Shut up, dickhead. I’ve had a visitor at my house since Tuesday. Kane.” Freddie shrieked. Violent hand-clapping sounded down the phone and for a moment loud crackles hurt Josh’s ear. “Are you still there?” “Sorry, I dropped the phone in my excitement. Oh darling, I knew he’d come. And I just bet he has. Over and over again.” “Not as much as you might imagine. I think he’s pacing himself.” Freddie snorted. “He’s worried he won’t keep up with your hot little ass, old man that he is.”

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“I don’t think he’s much older than me.” “Still, what gives? You don’t sound as ecstatic as you should. Is he not going down on you?” Freddie groaned. “Don’t tell me, you had a fight.” “Yeah.” “You’re so predictable. I swear you could start a fight in an empty room.” “Thanks.” “Don’t you think I got the measure of you after two weeks on that cruise? It’s like you have a self-destruct button to stop you being happy.” “Freddie…” “What did he do?” “Told me he’d had lots of men after me.” Freddie clicked his tongue. “After you’d asked him, yeah?” Josh ignored him. Instead he said, “He said I was a child.” “You are a child. Kane isn’t going to be the perfect man you want him to be, you already know that. But the fact that he’s come all this way says something about how he feels about you. Stop trying to ruin it. Don’t push him away. The way to his heart isn’t through jealousy and bitterness. It’s showing him what he’s going to miss when he leaves.” Josh sighed. “You always know the right thing to say.” “That’s because I know men. I’ve had a few.” “I’m sorry, Freddie.” “I’m not the one you should be apologising to.” “I know.” “Get to it. Are you still coming for Christmas?” “Sure.” “Think you’ll be bringing him?” “I’ll ask him.” “I don’t think he was my biggest fan.” “Bull. Why do you say that?” “Just an impression I got.” “All in your head.” “Well, you call me again and let me know it’s back on track. Okay, sweetie?” “I will. Thanks, Freddie.”

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“Take care, sweets.” Josh hung up. Freddie’s pep talk had reassured him. He needed to make up with Kane. He glanced out of the window across the road to the gym and wondered how the poor men there were going to deal with a god in their midst.

Kane went to a nearby department store to buy sweats and toiletries for the gym and a bag for everything to leave in his locker. Once his temporary membership was secured, he went to the changing room, found himself a locker and got changed. No signs declared this a gay gym but when he walked onto the men only floor and started on the treadmill, he caused a ripple to go around the room. He started to run, building speed gradually, glancing around. A couple of guys in the corner talked about him blatantly. One effeminate guy in a pink T-shirt winked at him. Another few tried to pretend they weren’t looking. Finally one made a move. A tall, lean guy with blond hair dressed in a sleeveless T-shirt and sweat pants came over to him. “Hi there, you must be new here.” “Yeah.” Kane didn’t ease up on his pace. Sweat started to prickle on his forehead. The stretch of his calf muscles felt good. He would be ready for Josh tonight. Then he remembered Josh hated his guts. “I’m Brad.” “Nice to meet you, Brad.” Kane shook his hand, a tough feat while running. Brad’s glance was appreciative. “You’re in good shape.” “Thanks.” “Want to team up on the weights?” “I’m good here, thanks.” “In a while?” “I’ll let you know.” Brad shrugged, clearly disappointed. “I’ll see you later then.” “Sure.” Kane concentrated on the plasma TV above him playing rock videos as Brad walked away. He didn’t normally refuse a blatant come-on. He had even surprised himself.

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His mind went back time and time again to the fight with Josh as he gave himself a punishing work-out. He’d been unnecessarily cruel. But Josh had been jealous and possessive, the way he’d been on the cruise. Kane sighed. He’d known how Josh would behave, but he’d still come to Alaska like a glutton for punishment. The sex was so good. Josh felt so right lying satiated and sleepily happy in his arms, but was that all it was? Should Kane enjoy a couple of weeks of glorious fucking until he called it a day? He didn’t need complications like Josh in his life. He didn’t need his valuable down time from his job to be full of angst and anxiety rather than happiness and that all-important sex. He went back to the locker room after an hour. No one was around and Kane made full use of the communal showers, luxuriating in being alone. He shampooed his hair and put his head under the spray to rinse before he soaped his tired body. The warm water revitalised him. He felt energised, ready to go out into the cold day, ready to deal with Josh. But how? Was he going to say sorry? Would Josh still be angry and upset? The fight had grown out of all proportion. It should be easily fixed if Josh would let him. He thought of all the ways he could fix it and his cock jumped. There, that was the reason to stay in Anchorage for now, because Josh could give him a hard-on just thinking about him. He glanced around before he put his hand on his shaft. Could he? Kane was as fond of public masturbation as he was of public sex. Nothing like whacking-off with a chance of discovery. And they were all guys together here. If he was caught, the jocks at this gym would probably cheer him on. Either that or offer to finish him off. He twisted his hand around the head of his cock. That was nice. He had hoped to nail Josh that morning but the fight had deflated him. He was sure he would have Josh that night. Fuck him into such oblivion that even Josh’s smart mouth would be shut until morning and he forgot all about Kane’s cruel words. His hand moved faster while his mind constructed a little fantasy about taking Josh over the weights bench while a cheering crowd of hot men looked on. They’d all want a piece of Josh’s hot ass. Would he share? He wasn’t sure. He imagined Josh being fucked by another guy while Kane jerked off. It might be kind of hot. Threeways were always good.

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He was almost there. He groaned, saw himself pummelling Josh’s tight ass as he strove towards orgasm, moments away. “Don’t let me stop you.” Startled, Kane dropped his hand. Brad stood in the spray two showers down, smirking. “Did I make you hot?” Kane turned his back. “No. I was thinking about someone else.” His cock throbbed for release. “Can I help?” Brad sidled closer. Kane faced him. It would be so easy. If Brad sank to his knees now and just breathed on him Kane would be done. But what had he said to Josh about the hot men at the gym? That he hadn’t come all this way to fuck around on him. “No, thanks.” “Jesus, you’re mean. You’re hot, you should share it around.” Kane smiled. “At least let me watch you finish yourself off.” Brad stroked his hard-on while he stared at Kane’s. Amused, Kane put his hand back around himself. “Sure, why not.” He started to jerk off again. Brad was panting and moaning within seconds as he watched, his hand moving lightning fast on his own erection. “Oh God, fuck, you’re something else,” he whimpered as Kane gave himself lazy, almost teasing strokes, playing to his audience. Kane heard the outer door open. He tightened his hand, gave himself three hard jerks and spurted in Brad’s general direction. He strode out of the shower grinning and leaving Brad furiously wanking. “Dude, what are you doing in there?” he heard a disgusted voice say.

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Chapter Five

Light shining from the living room heartened Josh as he pulled into the driveway. At least Kane had found his way home and at least he hadn’t left. Yet. Carrying a bag of fresh vegetables for dinner, he pushed open the door carefully as though Kane would be lying in wait behind with an axe. Music sounded from the kitchen. Josh stood at the door a moment and watched Kane busy at work at the counter, his hips swaying to a song on Josh’s CD player. Kane turned with a hesitant smile. “Oh, you’re back.” “What are you doing?” “Cooking dinner. I found one of your books.” He gestured to the vegetarian cookbook propped open in front of him. Josh put his bag down on the table. Incongruously, a box of condoms and tube of lube sat there. His cock twitched with anticipation. “Well, if you want to use anything out of here.” Kane peered into the bag. He drew out a long, slender cucumber and brandished it. “I might use this.” A smirk twitched his sensual mouth. His eyes held promise. Despite himself, Josh felt arousal thrum in his veins. He took a deep breath and said, “Look…” at the same time as Kane did. “You go first.” “No, you.” Kane sighed, putting down the cucumber. He cupped Josh’s cheek in a gentle hand. “I’m sorry.” “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, it was me.” “No, it wasn’t. I was an asshole. Please forgive me.” With a moan, Josh flung himself into Kane’s arms. Kane gathered him close, cradling his head against his shoulder, stroking his hair. “I thought you wouldn’t be here when I got back.” “Hush, I’m not going anywhere.” Kane lifted Josh’s face and kissed him, clinging to him, his tongue touching and entwining.

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Kane lifted Josh onto the edge of the kitchen table, using his body to part Josh’s knees and stand between them. With mounting excitement, Josh grabbed Kane’s shirt and dragged him close. Kane pushed the jacket off Josh’s shoulders and unfastened his tie. “You’re so hot in a suit,” he murmured. He took his time undoing the buttons on Josh’s shirt, mouth pressing to each inch of skin uncovered. Josh squirmed, watching him, torso undulating beneath those hot lips. Kane drew the shirt down his arms and tossed it away. His hands slid down Josh’s back, stroking smoothly. Kane kissed Josh’s mouth again before making his way down Josh’s torso, sucking and licking each nipple while feeling the bulge in Josh’s pants. Josh gasped as Kane unfastened his pants and crouched. He mouthed Josh’s erection through the thin covering of his boxers, tracing the shaft and head with his lips. Josh groaned and lifted his pelvis to the sweet teasing. A wet spot blossomed on his boxers. Kane licked over the head, further dampening his boxers before his tongue slid into the opening and found Josh’s cock. “Oh, God.” Josh pulled himself free and offered his cock to Kane. Kane took it greedily, engulfing him with wet heat, sliding slickly down his hard pole all the way. Josh panted and grabbed at his hair, looking down at Kane’s wicked mouth stretched wide around him. Such a hot image. At times like this, Josh felt like Kane was truly his for the taking. Kane straightened up. He dragged Josh’s pants and boxers down, working his shoes and socks free before he pulled them off. He shoved Josh down face first over the table. “Fuck.” Josh spread his arms and legs wantonly, presenting himself. Kane bent, planted a series of kisses from shoulders to buttocks, his hand smoothing over them before he reached for the lube. Josh held his breath, then let it out in a long groan as Kane slid wet fingers down his cleft to rub around his entrance. One, then two impaled him and Josh felt like he would blow his load. “Someone needs to get fucked,” Kane remarked with amusement as Josh pushed back. “Yes, someone does. Do me.” “Hmm. Lucky for you I’m prepared this time.” Kane reached for a condom. “You were confident you’d be fucking me as soon as I walked in the door?”

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“Very.” “Bastard. I should have made you suffer a bit.” Kane laughed. “If you make me suffer, you make yourself suffer. That ass of yours needs a hard cock in it at least once a day.” Wasn’t that the truth? Kane made him utterly wanton. Josh moaned. “Hurry up.” Kane put his hand in the plastic bag beside Josh and pulled out the cucumber once more. “Do you always choose the biggest you can when you go shopping?” Josh eyed the vegetable lasciviously. “I chose the biggest I could when I went shopping for you.” Kane slapped him on the ass. “You’re such a dirty boy. Let’s see how much you can take.” He ripped open the condom. Josh looked over his shoulder. “What are you doing?” “What does it look like?” Kane rolled the condom onto the cucumber. While not as thick as him, it was longer. “At least we’ll be able to eat it after.” “You can’t…” Josh’s protest ended in a smothered cry as Kane shoved the cucumber into him. “Can’t I? I’m going to fuck you with everything in this house I can find.” Kane delved back into the bag and brandished a carrot. “Oh, look at this. That’s next.” Josh groaned. He writhed as Kane fucked him, easing the vegetable into him slowly inch by inch. He couldn’t deny he got off on it. Drew had never been this kinky with him. It was either his cock or nothing. They didn’t play with toys or food. “Fuck, fuck…” “Do you want more, you little slut?” The abuse turned him on further, much to his surprise. He imagined he was Kane’s sex slave, being forced to helplessly submit. “Yes, give me more.” “Bad boy. Ever had this much in you before?” “No.” Josh rocked against the invading pressure, his hand under himself, jerking off. “This cucumber thinks your ass is so hot it’s going to blow its load.” “Dick.” Kane let go a moment, leaving the cucumber sticking out of Josh’s ass. Then he climbed onto the table in front of Josh, knees open, unfastening his pants.

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Josh opened his mouth as Kane pushed his cock inside. He moaned around the thick shaft as Kane leaned over him and continued to fuck him with the vegetable. Nearly all of it was inside him now and Josh felt so full that he was about to explode. Kane looked down at him, thrusting lightly into his mouth. “Ever been fucked by inanimate objects before?” Josh shook his head. He sucked more eagerly as Kane swelled in his mouth. “Ever had two men before?” Josh stared at him in shock. That was his little fantasy nailed on the head. He shook his head. Kane smirked. “Ever been spanked?” Josh’s blood boiled. He wasn’t into pain but…on those occasions Kane had slapped him on the ass onboard ship, he’d loved it. He shook his head. “Oh, my dear Josh, what am I going to do with you?” Josh pulled back. He looked up at Kane with desperate need. “Anything. You can do anything you want to me.” Kane regarded him, fingers playing with Josh’s hair. “Anything?” “Yes. I mean it.” Kane smiled. “In that case we better have a code word. For when you want me to stop.” Josh doubted he’d need one. During the cruise, his needs had always been perfectly in tune with Kane’s. Unless there was something dark and depraved lurking in Kane’s subconscious waiting for an outlet, Josh didn’t think he’d stop Kane from doing whatever he wanted. “Rainbow,” Josh said. “Very well. Any time you don’t like something, you say that word. Promise me.” Kane’s grey eyes were intense. “I promise.” “Good. Now get back to your job.” He guided his cock back into Josh’s mouth and drew the cucumber in and out of Josh’s ass. Josh moaned around the hard flesh. He longed to have Kane in his ass. He ached with need. Kane looked in the bag again. He pulled out a box of strawberries and selected one. He trailed it over Josh’s face before he pulled his cock away and presented the fruit to Josh’s lips.

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Josh took a bite, the sweetness exploding on his tongue, the juice running down his chin. Kane smiled and held the bitten strawberry over the end of his cock, letting the red liquid splash onto it. Josh surged forward and eagerly lapped it away. Then he took the rest of the strawberry, chewing. Kane climbed off the table. He pulled the cucumber free and tossed it aside and Josh whimpered with loss, so desperate to have something inside him that he reached back and touched himself while he watched Kane over his shoulder. Kane took the box of strawberries over to the blender on the kitchen counter. He dumped in a handful, replaced the lid and blended for a few seconds. Kane came back to the table. He upended the jug and poured the red mess over Josh’s ass. Cold…Josh hissed and writhed. “Mmm, Josh smoothie.” Kane lowered his head and started to lick off the mashed-up strawberries. His tongue swept down Josh’s cleft all the way to his balls, licked over his perineum, then came back up to delve into his entrance. “Oh God.” Kane left behind a trail of fire in his wake, Josh’s ass wet with saliva and sticky with fruit. He scrabbled at the table, shaking with pleasure. Squashed strawberries slithered onto his balls and Kane swept them away. He fingered Josh delicately while he licked him. “Please, Kane. I’m going to come. I need you inside me.” Josh ground his teeth, bucking with every lick to his blazing skin. Kane tore open another rubber. While he rolled it on with one hand, he drizzled lube over Josh’s spread ass, adding to the pink mess. “You just can’t get enough, can you?” Kane rubbed his erection slowly up and down Josh’s wet crack. “No,” Josh said. Never had a partner made him as shameless before as Kane did. He took away all his inhibitions and just left him desperate for as much as he could get. “I need your cock. Give it to me.” “My dirty, dirty boy.” Kane spanked him on one cheek. Josh whined, thrusting his buttocks into the air, trying to get Kane to penetrate him. “Hurry, please…”

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Kane slapped him again. “I can see my handprint on your ass. That says you’re mine.” “I am yours. Always. Fuck me, please fuck me.” Josh was almost delirious with need. His cock throbbed for release. His ass begged to be filled. He could shoot his load just from the dirty things Kane said to him. “You’re a slut, my slut. I’m going to use you until you can’t take anymore.” “Yes, Kane, yes…” Kane thrust into him and Josh screamed. Kane gripped his shoulders and rode him furiously, the table rocking with their combined weight. Josh’s hard cock slid against the smooth glass, trapped beneath him. The harder Kane pressed him down, the more stimulation he got. He humped the table and bucked back against Kane. He cried out for more and yelled his pleasure and Kane gave him more and more until Josh exploded. He gave an unearthly cry as he hit his climax, jerking, trembling endlessly until he fell motionless on the table. Kane stopped and Josh guessed he had come at the same time but he’d been too swamped with his own orgasm to notice. Hands smoothed down his sides and lips pressed delicately to his spine. “Wow, Josh.” Josh laughed. Sticky and wet and stiff all over, he couldn’t move. Kane drew out of him and pulled him up. He grabbed a piece of paper towel off the counter and perfunctorily wiped Josh’s buttocks. Kane turned Josh around. Kane’s mouth and chin were stained red and his cheeks had their usual post-coital pink glow. He gave Josh a kiss. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and relax while I finish dinner?” Josh smiled. Unbelievably after what had just happened, he now felt shy and embarrassed. Had he really begged for it so shamelessly and got off on Kane calling him a slut? God, Kane really knew how to work him. “Hey.” Kane caught his wrist. “You didn’t mind some of the stuff I said to you then, did you?” His grey eyes were earnest. Josh put his arms around his neck. “I like being your slut,” he said coyly. Kane smiled. “That’s good. I like being your master.” Josh grinned. He pecked Kane on his red lips and left the kitchen.

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Chapter Six

Though sprawled full-length on the sofa, Josh could see Kane hard at work in the kitchen. He played one of Josh’s CDs and swung his hips to the rhythm. Josh sipped the wine his lover had brought him and eyed his wonderful ass. He thought about pouring mashedup strawberries over it. He was so ridiculously happy and satisfied, like that morning had never happened. He refused to think about it in case his wonderful bubble burst. Kane slid a dish into the oven. He washed his hands at the sink before he came into the living room. “Okay, dinner’s in, I’m just going to wash up.” He mussed Josh’s hair as he passed. Josh flicked the TV on, opened a book and settled back. Kane returned after ten minutes wearing Josh’s too-small bathrobe, barefooted. “Is that your idea of dressing for dinner?” Kane shrugged. “After eight months wearing a tux or uniform, it’s nice to slob out. Any objections?” “I don’t know. Depends if you’ve anything on under it.” Kane moved up to the couch. “Why don’t you see?” Josh slid a hand inside the robe’s gap and up a muscular thigh, finding smooth, heavy balls. Kane smiled. Josh groaned. “You tease.” “Am I? Isn’t a tease someone who doesn’t put out? I put out plenty.” “Will you put out again after dinner?” “I might.” “Can I hold you to it?” “No. I might get a headache.” Josh swiped at his ass as Kane walked away. He watched his lover set the table and light candles in the centre. Then he put plates in the oven to warm and started to get ready to serve. Dinner smelt good. Josh’s stomach rumbled. Kane switched off the light so the kitchen was lit only by the light above the stove and the candles on the table. “Ready,” he called to Josh.

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Josh went in eagerly, sitting down, watching Kane. Warm bread and a salad stood in the middle of the table. Josh eyed the chunks of cucumber in it. Kane brought a steaming dish over the table, followed by two plates. “May I serve you?” “You may. Vegetable pasta bake, I presume?” “You presume right. It looked like the easiest thing in the book.” Kane grinned selfconsciously. “It smells great.” “Thank you, sweetie.” Josh’s face heated with pleasure. Kane poured them both wine, then sat. “A toast.” He lifted his glass. “To you.” Josh smiled. He would have preferred Kane to have said, “To us,” but he guessed he was hoping for too much. He lifted his glass, clinked it against Kane’s and drank. The food was good. Josh ate hungrily. “You can cook again,” he told Kane. Kane beamed. “Thank you.” “Perhaps without the cucumber next time.” “Come on, I washed the taste of rubber off it.” Josh rolled his eyes. “Perhaps the carrot next time? Or a big, thick zucchini.” “Don’t talk dirty to me while I’m eating.” “Who’s talking dirty? Since when did you get so depraved that you see all vegetables as sex toys?” Kane sipped his wine, innocently fluttering his eyelashes. “You’re so bad.” “No, you’re so bad. You’re insatiable.” “That’s your fault. I was enjoying my celibacy until you showed up.” Shit, Josh had let the cat out of the bag there. Kane arched a brow. “So you weren’t getting much action then?” Josh ate, saying nothing. “Thought as much. Your hungry ass gave it away.” Kane now knew he’d been lonely and monkish while Kane had continued his relentless fucking around the Mediterranean. “Shut up.” Josh’s cheeks grew hot with temper.

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“Sorry,” Kane said contritely. Josh decided to change the subject. “So how was the gym?” “Good. You were right about the guys.” “I told you. I bet they about fell over themselves to get to you, didn’t they?” Kane smiled enigmatically. “Not quite.” Josh regarded him a moment. Kane could quite easily have fucked someone at the gym today and Josh would just have to live with that, just like he’d have to live with all the guys Kane had fucked since him. He smiled brightly. No more would he let Kane see how much the idea hurt him. He was done with the jealousy. It would only drive Kane away from him. “So, we still going out tomorrow?” Kane asked. “Sure.” “Great. I’ll have dinner ready when you get home, then we’ll head out.” Josh took one foot out of his slipper and stroked Kane’s bare calf. “I could get used to this.” “Like me to be your kept man, would you?” “Maybe.” Kane smiled. He leant down and captured Josh’s foot, bringing it onto his knee where he caressed it gently. “When you’d gone I used to imagine you’d be in my cabin when I got back. That I had you tied to the bed just waiting to be used by me.” Josh shifted in his chair as his cock stiffened. His own fantasy too during those long months since the cruise. “I drove myself wild with some of my thoughts. Your cock was always hard just waiting for me and your ass was always wet and ready.” “Stop.” Josh’s voice was strangled. “Sorry, baby, no dirty talk at the dinner table. I can’t help being potty-mouthed twentyfour-seven.” “I’m not sure you think about anything else.” “I don’t.” Kane grinned ruefully. “Let’s talk about something else. How was work?” “Same old.” “How long have you been there?” “Since the early seventeenth century.” “Do your parents live around here?”

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“They live in Palmer. It’s not far.” “Is that were you were born?” “Yeah.” “And what do they think?” “About what?” “You know what?” “You mean me being queer?” “Yeah.” Josh sighed. He poured them both some more wine. “Disappointed. Accepting but disappointed. They can’t hide that no matter how hard they try.” “Did they like whatshisname, your last guy?” Josh flushed. “Drew. Not really.” “Why not?” “He talked about money a lot. My dad didn’t like that. And I guess my mom just wanted him to be a woman.” Kane massaged the sole of Josh’s foot. “Have you heard from him?” Josh dipped his head, shaking it. He was surprised to find this mention of Drew still hurt. Even five months after the event. “I found a picture of him. In the bedside drawer when I was looking for lube. Sorry.” Josh swallowed. “Does it still hurt? I know it did when we were together in summer.” Josh drank some more wine. “I don’t want to talk about him.” “I’m sorry.” Josh tried to compose himself. The CD playing and the scrape of cutlery on plates were the only sound for a while before he said, “So what about your parents?” “They live in Miami, a few miles from me.” “And do they know?” “Sure.” “And how are they?” “Okay. They took their time but they’re okay.” “Do you take men home to meet them?” Kane regarded him a moment. “I have in the past. It’s been a while.”

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Josh remembered Kane had told him he’d been single for the last ten years, even though he sometimes hooked up with men he’d met onboard when he was back in the States. “So who did you take?” Kane drank some wine. He seemed to think a moment. “There hasn’t really been anyone important enough to take home since I was in college. They met a guy I knew there a few times. They seemed to like him.” “What was his name?” “Cody. He was studying medicine.” “What happened?” Kane looked away a moment. Something about his expression suggested shame. He sighed. “I screwed around on him. He left me. I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself. I broke my own heart, because I loved him.” Josh watched him closely. “So why did you do it?” “I don’t know. Something in me makes me self-destruct. I find fidelity a hard concept.” He met Josh’s gaze. “But you knew that already, didn’t you?” Josh nodded. His throat felt tight. Kane squeezed his foot. “I think we’re done with exes, don’t you?” “Yeah.” “Want to watch a movie after dinner?” “Love to.” “What’s your favourite?” “Brokeback Mountain or A Single Man.” Kane groaned. “I’d rather not be mopping up your tears. Perhaps a comedy?” Josh smiled. “You choose. I’ve got plenty.”

They stacked the dishwasher together and tidied up before they took the bottle of wine into the living room. Kane chose Liar Liar and they cuddled on the couch giggling together, reciting Jim Carrey’s speeches and high-fiving each other. They finished the wine and lay there kissing long after the movie had ended.

Kane lay in bed with Josh in his arms, the light off, the covers pulled up high. Outside, the wind howled. Josh had drifted rapidly off to sleep but Kane didn’t mind, even if earlier

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Josh had professed to want round two. He played with Josh’s soft hair and nosed its scent. He felt so good. So right. What could he get from someone else that he couldn’t get here? It was dangerous to think this way. He had come to Alaska for a fun winter hook-up to pass his time off from work, not to find the love of his life.

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Chapter Seven

Josh came home at his usual time consumed with excitement over their night out. He was going out in Anchorage with the most attractive man in the world on his arm. People would die of jealousy and want to kill him. What a lucky guy he was. He had already alerted a couple of friends via Facebook that he might see them that evening. His best friend, Chester, had been agog with excitement that the famous Kane had turned up. Seeing as he had no photos of Kane from the cruise, Josh was sure Chester had thought he was making Kane up. Well, he’d see tonight. Chester would be creaming his pants when he saw Kane. Kane was busy in the kitchen, this time wearing Josh’s apron, dancing to some music. Josh stood at the kitchen door a moment and admired before Kane sensed him and turned around. “Shit, dude, you’ve got to stop this creeping up.” “I wasn’t creeping. It’s not my fault you were singing so loud you didn’t hear. And by the way, you have a lovely voice.” Kane blushed slightly. “Dinner’s going to be in a half-hour. Why don’t you go and shower and put on your dancing shoes for tonight?” Josh grinned. He went into the kitchen, winding his arms around Kane’s neck. “Are silver hot pants okay with you?” Kane kissed him. “Only in private, baby. Think I’m going to let the whole of Anchorage perv over my…” “Your?” Josh prompted. His heart beat a little too hard waiting for the answer. “My man’s ass.” Kane cupped Josh’s buttocks. “It’s off limits.” Josh glowed with pleasure. He kissed Kane and headed upstairs.

**** Josh reached back to grab Kane’s hand before he lost him in the throng. He wove through the crowd to the bar, glancing around.

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A lot of jaws had hit the floor. Kane caused a ripple in his wake, like a god parting the sea. A new man was in town and the locals scented fresh meat. Josh reached the bar, let go of Kane’s hand, glaring at a man eyeing his lover. “What do you want?” “Beer,” Kane said. He stared back at the ogling man. Josh set his jaw and turned to the bar. In the mirror behind it, he watched Kane looking around. He could do this. It didn’t matter how many men looked at Kane, Kane was Josh’s and nobody was going to change that. At least not tonight. The techno music from the dance floor on the left pounded with a heady beat, warring with the eighties pop coming from the dance floor on the right. In the mirror, he watched a man hitting on Kane. Josh froze, watching. Kane jerked his thumb in Josh’s direction. The man glowered at Josh before slipping into the crowd. Josh smiled to himself. He bought two beers and handed one to Kane. “Thanks. Interesting place.” Kane watched a dragged-up waitress weaving nimbly through the crowd balancing a drinks tray. “Yeah. You’re causing quite a stir.” “Am I?” Kane glanced around nonchalantly. Perfectly shaved and scented, he was dressed all in black, his dark hair gleaming with gel. The smell of his cologne made Josh dizzy with lust. He put a hand on Kane’s arm. “You know you are.” Kane grinned. He hooked an arm around Josh’s waist and pulled him close. “And nobody here is your equal, so put the green-eyed monster away.” Josh’s face heated. Kane kissed him, then took his hand and guided him towards the techno dance floor. A few men brushed past them, blatantly looking at Kane as they stood on the edge of the floor watching the dancers. The bass throbbed in Josh’s chest. The heat and music and the nearness of Kane conspired to arouse him. He leaned close to Kane’s ear. “Want to dance?” “Not yet, I’m not drunk enough.” “I’d better remedy that. Drink up.”

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Kane smiled. He drew Josh against his body. “I’m happy here, thanks. Admiring the view.” He rubbed his nose slowly against Josh’s. Josh leaned up to catch his lips with a soft moan of desire. They kissed, slow and deep. “Get a room,” drawled a voice by Josh’s ear. Josh drew back reluctantly. “Chester!” “Hello, you.” Chester, tall, blond and waif thin, eyed Kane. “You weren’t lying after all, were you, honey?” Josh rolled his eyes. “Kane, this is my friend Chester. He thought I was making you up.” “Nice to meet you, Chester.” Kane held out his hand. Chester took it, looking Kane over. “Seriously, Josh baby, you’re punching above your weight this time.” “Shut up.” Kane looked amused. “How do you know Josh?” “We’ve been friends since he moved to Anchorage. Hooked up in here a couple of times.” Chester grinned. Kane glanced at Josh, whose face flamed. “Another?” He motioned to his beer. Josh nodded. “Can I get you a drink, Chester?” “Sure, I’ll have a vodka Red Bull.” Kane set off to the bar. “Fuck me, Josh!” Chester hissed as soon as he’d gone. “Seriously, dude.” “I don’t appreciate you saying I’m punching above my weight in front of him,” Josh said stiffly. “I already know that.” “Oh come on, I was joking.” “It wasn’t funny.” “I didn’t mean it. You could catch any man you wanted, you know that. Maybe you’ll finally get Drew out of your system now.” “This is only an interlude for Kane. I don’t think he’ll be staying long.” Chester put an arm around Josh and squeezed him. “Then it’s up to you to capture his attention enough so he wants to stay, isn’t it? I’ve an idea for tonight.” He leant forward and whispered in Josh’s ear. “Let’s get up on the platform and shake our stuff.”

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“I don’t really think—” “I do. I’ve seen you dance, remember?” “Okay…maybe, but after a few more drinks.” Chester winked at him. “Can’t wait.”

**** “So have you seen those friends of yours from the cruise?” Kane asked some time later. They were sitting at the edge of the retro dance floor. In front of them, Chester was making out with a gorgeous black guy, hand between his legs, kissing him furiously. Josh, getting hotter and hotter, was trying not to watch. He could see the bulge in the guy’s pants growing bigger while Chester stroked. He swallowed, head swimming from the booze. “You mean Freddie and Erik? We’ve kept in touch. I’m going to Iowa for Christmas.” “Oh, really?” Kane glanced at the couple in front of them. “Yeah.” Christmas was just over three weeks away. Josh caught Kane’s eye when he could rip it away from Chester and his boy toy. Silence hovered between them a moment. “Think you’ll still be here?” Kane hesitated. “I’m not sure. I think my folks were hoping I’d spend it with them.” Josh nodded. “Sure.” Here was the time limit he had been waiting for Kane to slap on the relationship. Three weeks. Chester came up for air. He squealed and started to clap his hands. “This is our song, Josh baby!” Josh groaned inwardly as the opening bars of It’s Raining Men began and dancers flooded the floor. Chester yanked him out of his seat and he glanced at Kane, shrugging apologetically. Chester dragged Josh towards a platform on the edge of the dance floor. Two other sweaty dancers were climbing down as Chester sprang up and dragged Josh with him. “Okay baby, let’s go,” he shouted at Josh above the music. “Show him what you’re made of.” Josh didn’t look at Kane. When he danced he’d imagine no one was watching, which helped his confidence. He swung his hips and leant back on Chester as Chester put his arms around him, grinding against him.

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The platform was small and Josh stumbled a couple of times, worried he would tumble drunkenly off it to everyone’s amusement, an occurrence which was by no means infrequent. But the music took Josh away. His body sank easily into the perfect rhythm while the beat lifted his heart and his spirits. Chester whooped behind him. He stuck his hands under Josh’s shirt, hauled it over his head and threw it away. Josh grinned. He turned around, linked his arms around Chester’s neck and thrust a thigh between his. Chester ground wantonly against him, hard-on unmistakeable. Josh chanced a glance at Kane. Would this display of man on man be too much for him? Kane sat in place, drink paused at his lips, transfixed. “He loves it, he fucking loves it, come on!” Chester cried above the music. He grabbed Josh’s ass, kneading, pulling him hard against his thigh so Josh’s cock ached and throbbed. Chester spun him around. He moved sinuously behind Josh, grinding his erection against his ass. Josh looked down to see Kane standing right below the platform, staring up like an acolyte worshipping a god. Josh grinned. It was about time the boot was on the other foot. Chester’s hand delved shamelessly into Josh’s groin, stroking, outlining his hard bulge with greedy fingers. Kane’s eyes were riveted to it. He looked like his tongue would hang out at any moment. Josh closed his hand deliberately over Chester’s. He forced Chester’s hand back and forth over his groin. Chester groaned. Through his tight pants, his cock nestled in Josh’s ass crack, dry-humping him. Josh thought he would explode from the double stimulations. If he hadn’t been surrounded by people, he might have whipped out his dick and wrapped Chester’s hand around it. Other men were watching. A group on the dance floor cheered Josh and Chester on. Chester’s other hand slid up Josh’s torso. He flicked and pulled at one nipple. A hand closed around his ankle. Josh looked down. Kane’s hand slid up his pant leg, massaging his calf. Josh leaned over. Kane grabbed his hand and sprang onto the platform. Josh gasped as both men sandwiched him, grinding against him, Kane at the front, Chester at the back.

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The cramped quarters called for the most intimate threeway dance, little more than grinding and bumping. Men surrounded them, chanting and clapping. Josh felt like the hottest go-go boy in the world. He pulled Kane’s shirt open and the crowd whooped as he ran his hands up his lover’s chiselled torso. Chester evidently liked this. He reached around Josh, feeling Kane up too. Kane arched under their combined caress, his solid erection crushed against Josh’s. The blood pounded between Josh’s legs. He jammed a hand in Kane’s groin, feeling his lover’s prodigious manhood. He was moments away from doing something really bad. The group around the platform started to chant. “Out! Out! Out!” Startled, Josh looked at them and looked at Kane. Chester acted for him. He nimbly unzipped Kane’s fly and pulled his cock free. Josh gasped. Chester’s hand slid slowly down Kane’s shaft and the men around the platform roared. Christ, wasn’t this against the law? No one seemed to care. Kane batted Chester’s hand away. He forced Josh’s hand around his hot length and bucked into his touch, eyes rolling back. Josh jerked him off. Chester bit at his neck, watching over Josh’s shoulder and groaning. “Suck it, suck it, suck it!” came the chant. Kane pushed Josh to his knees and grabbed him by the hair. Josh swallowed obediently. Their audience yelled and whistled. Glancing up, Josh saw Chester had one of Kane’s nipples between his teeth, biting. Chester pulled his own cock free, jerking off, pushing Josh’s head down on Kane’s cock. Never had Josh sucked cock more enthusiastically in his life. Never had he known he had a public sex kink before. Kane’s hard flesh in his mouth swelled his own cock to bursting point. He gasped, rubbing his own crotch. Chester sank to his knees. He butted Josh’s head as he wormed his way into Kane’s crotch, sucking at his balls. Kane held them both by the hair, looking down. The music had moved onto I Touch Myself by the Divinyls. Kane was close. His hand tightened on Josh’s hair, his mouth open, his head back. He bucked forward, almost choking him. His chest heaved and he held Josh and Chester close to him.

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Chester groaned before he turned to face most of his audience and spunked over the edge of the platform in white arcs. The crowd loved it. One guy bent forward and sucked the remaining fluid from Chester’s cock. Kane shoved Josh’s head down, trembling, and a moment later Josh’s mouth was full. He gulped and pulled back, leaving Kane’s cock still dribbling as loud applause went up. He spat the semen into the air to thunderous cheers. Chester tugged him off the platform, shrieking with excitement and Josh reached up to help Kane, who was still tucking away his cock. When he jumped down, Josh saw he was flushed and grinning, his steps unsteady. “You filthy bastard.” He squeezed Josh’s ass. “Now I know what goes on in Anchorage during the dark months.” Josh grabbed his shirt and pulled Kane towards the bar. Hands reached out to slap all three of them on the back like conquering heroes as they blundered through the crowd. How they hadn’t all been thrown out and summarily barred from the club he had no idea. Perhaps security was busy elsewhere. Either that or jerking off over the hottest show the club had seen in some time. He grinned to himself. He still ached for release between his legs but his exhilaration calmed his need a little. He could wait. Waiting was sweet. Someone at the bar bought all three of them drinks. Kane looked at Josh. “So, I thought I found out all your kinks on the cruise.” Josh smiled coyly. “So did I.” “Did you like that threeway?” Josh nodded. “Me too. Would you do it again?” Kane’s gaze held his. His words seemed to imply going further. Josh bit his lip. He nodded. Kane’s grey eyes were dark with lust. “Is there somewhere private in here?” Josh’s heart hammered. “Not really. There’s a club further down East Fifth with a back room. Some of the stuff that goes on in there would make your hair curl. It’s kind of secret. Chester’s taken me there a couple of times.” Kane’s hand cupped his ass. “Sounds like just the sort of den of iniquity a little slut like you would inhabit. Drink up and bring your friend.”

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The words inflamed Josh beyond all reason. He could hardly think for all the blood deserting his brain. Oh God, oh God. He slammed his glass onto the bar and leaned towards Chester, whispering the invitation. “Oh, fuck.” Chester grabbed his and Kane’s hands to drag the two of them out of the club.

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Chapter Eight

“Have you got condoms?” Josh muttered as they trudged down the street through the icy air, shivering. “Don’t worry about me, I’m always prepared.” Kane gave Josh’s groin a sly feel, perhaps to make sure Josh was still ready. And he was. His hard-on strained for release so badly that his boxers were wet through. “Seems like you are too.” Josh grabbed his hand. “I need you, Kane.” Kane leaned towards his ear. “And I’m going to give you just what you want. I’m going to slide into that hot, tight ass of yours and pound it until you come your brains out.” Josh whimpered. From his other side, Chester said, “And what about me?” “Don’t worry, I’ll fit you in somewhere.” Kane smirked.

**** Inferno was on no websites and distributed no fliers. The club looked like an abandoned shop from outside. A few knew to slip around the back and knock three times. Many glanced around shiftily like any moment huge spotlights would light up their shame. Kane rolled his eyes and stamped his feet as they waited in the cold. “What the hell is this, some sort of illegal drinking den?” Josh glanced at Chester. He didn’t know if it was illegal or not, but what went on inside certainly should be. Chester grinned, clearly reading his thoughts. He linked arms with both Josh and Kane looking like the cat that got the cream. The door slid open with a loud creak like Dracula’s coffin. “Hey baby, it’s me and Josh,” Chester greeted the bald man in leather who regarded him suspiciously. “We brought a hot friend from out of town to play.” The man looked Kane up and down like he was on sale at the market. “Go on in, boys.” He fondled Kane’s ass as he passed. The three descended into a gloomy, musty-smelling interior outfitted like a version of hell itself. Chester gave their coats in at a broom cupboard which was laughingly called the

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cloakroom and told Kane that he took his chances on whether he’d get it back. Josh led Kane by the hand into the main room. Black metal thumped from the speakers. A solitary dry ice machine cloaked the moshers on the dance floor in wraith-like fog. In every corner men were locked in embraces, some directed by security to the back room. Josh grinned at Kane. Their public performance at the previous club would have been hurried to the back room before a single drop of spunk was spilt. He ordered three Jack and Cokes while Kane surveyed the room. “What a shithole.” Chester nodded. “We don’t come here for the décor.” Josh had limited his visits to this place after the time he and Chester had tangled intimately in the back room and he had woken up sore next morning, unsure what had happened and if anyone else had been involved. Chester put his glass on the bar. “Let’s go, boys.” Josh looked at Kane and followed him through the cloud of dry ice towards the back. Down a flight of stairs, a huge black door welcomed them to the back room. A sign on it proclaimed that safe sex was mandatory for all customers. Josh stepped into the gloom, the music from upstairs a muted rumble. The first thing he noticed, familiar from past visits, were the smells of sex and sweat. The next were the myriad of moans, shouts and slaps of flesh against flesh. It was almost pitch black, low wall lights placed at intervals, illuminating different scenes. The three of them walked past a ménage, two guys spit roasting another. Around the corner, one man rode another in a large armchair. All along one wall men were on their knees sucking cock. Kane caught Josh’s hand. He leaned close to his ear. “Remember the word.” Josh nodded. He was still so aroused he was worried he would shoot his load the moment Kane opened his pants. “Over here.” Chester gestured them to a quiet spot at the back with a long, low couch. On the floor beside it, one man nailed another while another watched, jerking off. Kane sat. He pulled Josh onto his lap and kissed him insistently. Josh returned it, arms around Kane’s neck. He felt Chester kneeling beside them and hands unfastened his shirt before they slid up his torso. Chester’s lips fastened onto one nipple and Josh groaned into Kane’s mouth.

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Kane started on Josh’s pants, unbuttoning and unzipping and freeing his cock. He hissed through his teeth as Kane jerked him off with long, slow strokes before he licked Josh’s ear and said, “Chester and I are going to use you. These men around here are going to watch and get off. You’re going to be a porn star for the night.” Josh bucked into his touch, whining his assent. In his dirtiest moments, he had fantasised about being used by a group of men. About taking one cock after another while somebody filmed it. When he thought about this in the stark light of day, he felt ashamed. But tonight he was with Kane, who always gave him the confidence to act out anything he wanted and who he trusted implicitly. He wanted to be naked and fucked by Kane in front of all these men. Nothing would give him greater pleasure. “I want you naked so I can touch every part of your wonderful body.” Kane pushed Josh off his knee. Standing, he started to strip and glanced around, relieved that a few other men were stark naked. Chester sat on the couch next to Kane, staring as Josh stepped out of his boxers. “Come here.” Kane slid down the couch. He pulled Josh over on top of him, legs over his shoulders and started to suck his cock. “Fuck.” Josh gripped his head, rocking into his mouth, wondering how he was going to last. Chester took out Kane’s cock and went down on him. Josh watched, moaning. Chester, with a wicked glint in his eye, moved to spread Josh. He stuck his tongue between his buttocks. Josh squealed. He clutched the back of the couch as he was blown and eaten out. Fuck, what had he done to deserve such accommodating men? While Kane sucked him eagerly, Chester fingered his wet entrance, penetrating it with one finger while he licked Josh’s perineum. “Fuck, fuck, Kane, I’m going to come, I’m so hot I can’t hold on…” Kane let Josh’s cock go. “That’s fine, baby, as long as you know you don’t get a break between orgasms.” Cool air wafted over his tool, and Josh whimpered. “Let me swallow.” Chester scrambled onto the couch. Crouching by Kane’s head, he grabbed Josh’s cock and sucked it.

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Josh bucked into the moist heat of Chester’s mouth, groaning. Watching, Kane shoved his fingers between Josh’s buttocks and pushed two inside him. Josh spasmed around them, thrusting down Chester’s throat. He swallowed while Josh’s thighs shook and his balls slapped against Kane’s chin. Josh rested, panting against the back of the couch. Kane handed something to Chester. “Get him ready to be fucked.” He slid down between Josh’s legs and stood, unfastening himself, pulling pants and boxers down to mid-thighs. He jerked off while a guy on the floor watched appreciatively. When Josh went to follow, Chester held him in place, keeping him on all fours on the couch with legs spread. He got between Josh’s legs and started to eat him out again. Josh squirmed with sensitivity. “Wait, I’m not sure I can…” Kane knelt beside him, planting a kiss on his head. “Hey, didn’t I say you didn’t get a break?” “I know but…” The hot tongue rimmed him efficiently. Josh’s cock had yet to go totally limp. He was sure Kane was going to kill him through sex but he couldn’t bring himself to care that much. Not when their every coupling drove Kane further and further into his very blood. No matter how much he got of Kane, it would never be enough. “But, nothing. After a rocky start onboard last summer, I made a man out of you. A man who could go three times a night, remember?” “God, yes.” “Then don’t let me down. I want you.” Kane captured his mouth in a fierce kiss. Their tongues battled, Josh tasted the liquor on Kane’s breath and the passion on his lips and he pushed himself down on Chester’s face, almost smothering him. Chester grabbed his cock and pulled Josh to his second erection while the tip of his tongue opened him up. Kane pulled back from the kiss to watch the action over Josh’s shoulder as Chester lubed his fingers and rubbed a large amount over Josh’s entrance, massaging it in slowly. Cold but delicious… Josh squirmed. He caught his breath as Chester pushed two fingers inside and twisted them around until they pressed against his prostate. “Oh, God.” Some semen dribbled from his cock onto the couch. Josh’s cock grew rock hard. Chester continued to press and Josh continued to leak. “I can see you, Josh,” Chester purred.

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A guy looked over the arm of the couch. “Fuck, is that guy getting a prostate massage?” “He’s creaming all over the couch,” said another. Josh hid his face in the back of the couch. His cock dripped onto the upholstery. “You’ve got an audience,” Kane whispered in his ear. “They want to see you creaming.” He pulled Josh up by the arm so Chester’s fingers slipped free. “No, don’t,” Josh said as Kane sat him down and pushed his knees up and apart. Kane looked down at him a moment, his hard cock swaying. “Want to say the word?” Josh hesitated. He looked at the group of men who had gathered in front of the couch, some of them jerking off, all of them looking at his cock. Wasn’t this what he wanted? Didn’t he want them all to see him fucked by the most beautiful man in the world? He shook his head. Kane grinned. He motioned to Chester and Chester sank between Josh’s legs and pushed his fingers back into him, crooking them forward to press on the right spot. “Fuck!” Josh lifted his pelvis, electricity shooting through him. A spurt of semen landed on his thigh. His cock twitched and jumped. Voices murmured in appreciation around him. Kane knelt on the couch and bent his head to kiss Josh’s stomach. He looked up at Josh through thick lashes and Josh felt a link between them then, something beyond the physical, something so powerful it shook him. He hadn’t imagined the connection they’d made on the cruise. This was once in a lifetime stuff, he was sure of it. Chester continued to stroke. Semen oozed slowly from Josh’s cock, dripping down his shaft. Chester swiped it away with a wicked tongue. Josh squirmed. His cock got harder and harder. He looked at the men gathered before the show and his arousal jumped to boiling point. They were all watching his pleasure. He pulled Kane up to kiss him. Still the cum dribbled from his cock at Chester’s relentless stroking. He moaned desperately into Kane’s mouth. “Fuck me, please, please Kane.” Kane stood. He tore open a condom and a man nearby whooped in excitement. Chester slid his fingers free. Josh watched the gathered men a little shyly. He was about to get fucked in front of an audience. His cock throbbed. Kane motioned to Josh to turn around. He knelt on the couch, holding onto one arm. Chester stood in front of him, cock level with Josh’s mouth. Kane climbed onto the couch behind him. He gripped Josh’s hips, resting his cock between his buttocks, sliding wetly

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between them. Josh moaned for more. He touched his own cock, looked at the men around him who were doing the same. Oh God, he was sure the shameless exhibitionism was going to make him come harder than ever before. “Fuck him,” someone said behind Kane. Kane thrust into him, burying himself to the hilt. Josh cried out. He strained forward and was rewarded with Chester plugging up his mouth. He groaned around Chester’s cock sucking it down with every snap of Kane’s hips. His gaze swivelled around him. Fuck, spit roasted in front of a motley crew of Anchorage’s finest, all of them staring at Kane’s cock plundering his ass and Chester’s cock shoving down his throat. He felt no shame. Only a strange sort of pride. Kane’s fingers closed around his aching tool. Josh drew back from Chester. He panted Kane’s name desperately, on the verge of his second climax. Kane’s cock stretched his ass to painful proportions as always and sent him dancing along that line of ecstasy as only he could do. An enormous orgasm was building throughout his entire body, the pleasure pounding in his blood. Chester groaned. He grabbed Josh’s head again and Josh opened his mouth to take him, semen dribbling down his chin to much applause. Kane grunted behind him. His hand clung to Josh’s hip with bruising pressure while his other jerked him off fast and hard. Josh pushed back against him, taking every inch, still lapping at Chester’s cock. “Harder, Kane, harder,” he begged. Kane redoubled his pace, groaning. When Josh glanced over his shoulder, he saw a man from the audience behind Kane, between his legs, apparently eating him out. Josh cursed. He wished he could watch properly. A man had a cell phone out, filming the action. Abruptly Chester stuck his head beneath Josh, seeking his cock. Josh pushed it down his throat eagerly and revelled in the twin pleasures of getting fucked and sucked. Oh, it didn’t get any better than this. He stretched to get to his lover and Kane gave him a fierce kiss. “Come on,” he said in Josh’s ear. “Right down Chester’s throat.” Kane seized Chester’s head, forcing him to take all of Josh down his throat, fondling Josh’s balls as he did. Josh’s orgasm consumed him whole. His thighs shook, he buried his cock right into Chester’s throat and he shoved himself back on Kane’s cock. Kane held him still as he trembled furiously, spurting endlessly, until his limp body collapsed on the couch.

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He looked down at Chester, who opened his mouth to let semen run from it, to the delight of the now applauding audience. Kane’s hand tightened hard on his hip. One last thrust and one soft gasp and he finished, his face dropping against Josh’s back. Chester tiredly eased himself out from beneath Josh and started to arrange his clothes, high-fiving some of the men. The audience started to disperse. Kane drew free and disposed of his condom in a nearby trash can. He pulled his pants and boxers up, then sat. Naked, Josh climbed off the couch and located his clothes. His whole body pulsed and burned with afterglow. He couldn’t wait to get home and curl up in bed with the instrument of his pleasure. He looked shyly at Kane and was rewarded with a tender smile. As he pulled up his boxers, a man from the watching group stepped forward. “Well, well, well, fancy seeing you here.” Josh looked up and his mouth fell open. Drew. Drew smiled as Josh remained frozen in spot, but his gaze flickered coldly to Kane. “So, never knew you were a public exhibitionist, Josh. All those years we spent together, too.” Josh bristled. Suddenly he felt ashamed of his nakedness and he held his shirt up before him as a barrier to his ex. “Never knew you were a voyeur,” he shot back. Drew shrugged. “Some friends brought me here. Didn’t expect I would see my ex getting degraded by two random guys though. You should have sold tickets.” Tears sprang shockingly fast to Josh’s eyes. All the excitement of a few moments ago fled, leaving him cold and miserable. A solid presence warmed his side. “I’m not any random guy, I’m his partner.” Kane’s voice was a low rumble. “And you are?” Drew looked him up and down with distaste. He was almost the same height as Kane but as blond as Kane was dark. The two were opposites in every way from what Josh could see. “I’m the ex. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone if I’d known he’d be turned into some filthy back room whore by you.” Kane swung his fist and knocked Drew down. Chester stepped in to break it up. Josh gathered his clothes and fled.

****

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Kane found him locked in a cubicle in the gents. He knocked softly. “Open the door, Josh.” Josh, dressed and sitting on the closed toilet, wiped his face and cleared his throat. “Give me a minute.” He hated the way his voice trembled. He hated how Drew had torn him to pieces in front of Kane. “Come on, baby.” Kane’s voice was a whisper. He stood and slid the lock back. Kane stepped in and gathered him into his arms, closing the door behind him. He stroked Josh’s head without speaking for the longest time.

**** They caught a cab after saying goodbye to Chester and once home, Josh got straight into the shower, scrubbing himself with scented gel. Kane waited patiently in the bedroom, perhaps sensing Josh would have rebuffed any attempt to get in with him, then he showered himself. Hair damp, Josh lay under the covers waiting for Kane. He was still drunk so he could blame his emotional response on that. But Drew, damn him, had turned the evening of a lifetime into a nightmare, labelling Josh a filthy back room whore who let men watch him get fucked. Worse, Josh felt like one. He buried his face into the pillow with shame. Kane slid in beside him. He drew Josh into his arms and turned out the light.

Josh finally fell asleep but Kane remained awake, seething in the dark. A perfect evening of fun ruined by that asshole. Christ, he would have loved to beat him until his brains leaked out of his ears. Where did he get off calling Josh that? This was the guy who had supposedly loved him for five years too? Josh had had the time of his life in the threeway with an audience but Drew’s vile words had turned it into something shameful. Nothing Josh had done could be considered shameful. Kane had put his whole body and yes, even his goddamn heart into it. His aim in everything he did was to please Josh. And continue to gradually erase those memories of Drew.

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That fucking bastard. He had set Kane and Josh’s relationship back a good while that night and Kane didn’t know if he could save it.

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Chapter Nine

Josh awoke with warmth and muscle pressed against him…Drew? He opened his eyes and saw Kane snoozing beside him. His heart leapt with joy before he remembered how last night had ended. He slid carefully out of bed without waking Kane and went downstairs. He made coffee and sat at the kitchen table watching the snow flurries against the window in the murky halflight. It was late, after twelve and he had a headache. He couldn’t think straight for the pain pressing down on him. Footsteps, a flushing toilet and stairs creaking announced Kane’s arrival. “Hey, why didn’t you wake me?” He dropped a kiss on Josh’s head as he passed before helping himself to coffee. Josh didn’t reply. Kane walked over to him, putting his cup on the table. “Listen…” Josh shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it.” He stood and tried to leave. Kane caught his arm. “Sorry, but you’re going to. Last night, I know you had a great time. I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do. You didn’t say the code word, you went along with everything and I know you had the time of your life until he showed up. So don’t you dare act like I’m the villain here just because of that poison he spouted.” Josh looked steadily into his grey eyes. “I didn’t degrade you. Every man in that room wanted a piece of your ass and it made me so hot to know I was the only one going to get you. To know I was the one going home with you.” “Well, as long as you were okay.” Josh shrugged away and walked out of the kitchen. “Hey, come back here.” Kane followed but Josh went upstairs and locked himself in the bathroom. He showered and shaved, quickly dressed in the bathroom and ran downstairs, snatching his coat from the peg in the hall. Kane was on the couch reading a book and eating toast. “Where are you going?” “Out.”

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“Can I come?” “No.” “Suit yourself.” Josh slammed the door behind him. He drove to the nearby park and took a bracing walk through the snow. A group of kids played snowball fights while a child barely old enough to walk helped his dad make a snowman. The grey light depressed him. His head still pounded and his stomach churned. Why was he so angry at Kane? He should have been angry with Drew. What the hell right did he have to say those things to him like he still had a say on Josh’s life, when he had given up those rights five months ago? He checked his cell. Five missed calls from Chester and one from Drew. Oh, God. Josh shook with fury. No word for all those months then he dares to call me? He sat on a bench watching the man lift up the toddler to push pebbles into the snowman’s head for eyes and asked himself if he and Kane were going to come back from this. The cold chilled him, but he wasn’t ready to go home. He’d go grocery shopping instead and get something to eat while he was out. He pulled his wallet out to check his cash supply, frowning as he counted the bills. Since when had he gone out and come back with four hundred dollars?

**** Kane was engrossed in a book when he heard Josh’s car in the driveway. Thank God. Maybe he’d calmed down and Kane could somehow talk some sense into him. The door slammed open before more banging ensued…Josh kicking off his boots? That wasn’t good. He sat upright. Josh charged into the living room, red-faced with both cold and rage. “What’s this?” he cried, holding up a stack of bills. “What, now you pay me to be your whore? Fuck you!” He threw the money in Kane’s face.

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One sharp edge nicked him at the corner of his eye, but Kane tried to keep calm. “That was my contribution to this month’s bills and food. It didn’t have anything to do with last night.” Josh looked taken aback. His blue eyes were full of tears. He hovered, visibly unsure but when Kane reached out to him, Josh shoved him away. “Get the hell out. Take your filthy money back to Miami and don’t come back. I never want to see you again. I don’t want to deal with the sort of trouble you cause or the way you make me feel.” Kane stared at him a moment. He couldn’t rationalise with Josh when he got like this. He stood, tossed his book onto the couch and went upstairs. In the bedroom, he shoved clothes into the bag that he still hadn’t unpacked completely. He went into the bathroom and retrieved all his toiletries. Dabbing at his eye, a spot of blood came back. He paused in Josh’s room. This might have been the end but he wasn’t quite ready for it. He opened the top drawer, ignoring the photo of Drew which stared up at him. Fishing around, he found a pen and a scrap of paper on which he wrote his cell and his home number. He went back downstairs and took his coat off the hook at the door. The money still lay scattered over the couch. Josh stood in the kitchen, staring through the French windows. Kane hesitated behind him. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Josh didn’t reply. Kane took his bag to the front door and unlocked it. He eyed the snow outside with distaste. He knew the way to the main road, where he could get a bus into town. He’d stay at a hotel until he could get a flight back to Miami. He hadn’t expected to be going home with his tail between his legs after less than a week, but he was philosophical. As he’d told Josh during their summer fling, his hook-ups with passengers after the event usually faded into nothing without the excitement of the ship and the thrill of getting caught. Thing was, his attraction to Josh hadn’t faded one bit. Their lovemaking had continued to set him on fire like no one else had ever done. And it wasn’t just the lovemaking either. It was being with Josh. It was lying in his arms, kissing him, talking to him and knowing how

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much he meant to Josh. Because there was no doubt he meant a lot, so how could Josh throw away what was kindling between them? He closed the door behind him and set off down the drive. As he reached the end of the street, he heard running footsteps behind him. “Don’t, Kane, don’t.” Kane turned and Josh threw himself into his arms, rocking him on his heels. Kane held him close in relief, nosing Josh’s silky hair. A passing man grunted in displeasure. Kane let Josh go and glared at the stranger. “Excuse me?” “Leave it.” Josh pulled him towards the house and Kane followed, glowering over his shoulder. In the hallway, Kane took Josh’s lead and took off his coat and shoes. He hooked an arm around him, pulling Josh close. Josh’s fingertip touched the paper cut the dollar bill had left at the corner of Kane’s eye. Kane looked deep into Josh’s ocean blue eyes and saw his naked feelings. They rocked him. Of course he knew, but still, the depth of Josh’s adoration frightened him. Did he have what it took to be Josh’s one and only? Kane dropped his bag, picked Josh up and carried him to the living room, laying him down on the couch. Josh reached for him. Kane covered him with his body and kissed him deeply. He felt revitalised, whole. He felt like he’d come home.

**** On Sunday evening, Josh lay in bed reading, waiting for Kane to come out of the shower. The rest of the weekend had been idyllic. They’d done nothing except lie next to each other and kiss and cuddle. Kane hadn’t tried to make love to him and Josh guessed it was because of Friday night. Perhaps Kane was waiting for a green light, but Josh was content enough. He liked lying beside Kane with their limbs entwined, Kane’s soft mouth on his. On the bedside table, his cell vibrated. Josh reached over. It was Chester. He should probably answer it. “Hey.” “Hey you, you’ve been avoiding me.”

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“No, I haven’t.” “Yes, you have. Are you going to get all fucking weird on me because I sucked your cock?” And the rest, Josh thought. “No.” “Good. We were drunk, we had a good time. End of story.” “Yeah, okay.” “And that fucking asshole ex of yours—” “I missed a call from him yesterday.” Josh glanced towards the bathroom where the shower had stopped. “Bastard. What’s he playing at?” “I don’t know.” “If he calls again, don’t you dare answer. You don’t need him, you have the hottest man in the universe warming your bed every night.” “I guess.” “You guess? Do you know hotter?” “No.” “Right then. Get screwing.” “Yes, boss.” “See you later.” “Bye, Chester.” Josh hung up. Just before he put down his cell, it vibrated again. He answered without checking the caller ID. “Yes, Chester.” “It’s not Chester.” Josh’s heart started to hammer. He threw another panicked look towards the bathroom. “What do you want?” “Wanted to see if you were okay after your Friday night humiliation.” “Listen to me, you son of a bitch, I was in that with him. I wanted it or I wouldn’t have gone there. He makes me far happier than you ever did. The only humiliation I got was from you when you walked out on me because I wasn’t good enough for you.” “You were good enough for me, Josh.” Drew’s voice was soft. “I’m starting to see that now.” “No,” Josh said furiously. “No.”

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“Meet me. Just to talk.” “No.” “Please. Tomorrow during your lunch hour at our café. If you remember what we had together, you’ll come.” Josh hung up. He smiled as Kane came into the room wearing nothing but a towel. “Something up?” Drops of water slid down his chiselled torso towards his groin. “No, just Chester saying he hoped I won’t be fucking weird.” “No more weird than usual anyway.” “Hey, fuck you!” Josh sprang off the bed and yanked Kane’s towel off. “In your dreams.” Josh flicked the towel at Kane’s ass. Kane ran out of the bedroom and Josh followed, whipping him. “More baby, more,” Kane cackled as Josh cornered him in the bathroom. He pulled Josh close to kiss him and the conversation with Drew slid from his mind.

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Chapter Ten

The CD in the alarm clock started to spin, waking Josh before soft notes sounded through the dark. Kane groaned behind him. He moved closer, wrapping an arm around Josh, rigid cock pressing against his buttocks. Fuck. Heat speared Josh instantly, stiffening his already half-hard cock. Perhaps Kane sensed something because he nuzzled his neck, whispering, “Didn’t I promise to send you to work with something warm inside you?” Josh gulped. Kane’s hand slid down his chest and into his groin. “Mmm, this is what I like first thing in the morning.” He stroked through Josh’s pyjama pants. Kane was naked. His thick cock rested insistently between Josh’s cheeks, thrusting lightly. Josh’s prick started to throb. His ass ached for something inside it. “Why don’t you get supplies out of the drawer?” Kane murmured in his ear. Josh reached across. He flicked on the bedside lamp and fumbled in the drawer, locating a condom and the lube. “Good boy.” Kane took hold of him under the arms, pulling him across the bed into the centre before he pushed him face down. Josh whimpered with excitement as Kane yanked off his pants and opened his legs. He bent over him, cock against his ass. “You like this, don’t you?” “Yes.” Josh writhed, legs spread, lifting his ass against Kane’s cock. “You like to be mastered.” “Yes.” “Especially on a Monday morning before work.” Josh giggled. Kane opened the lube. A perfunctory slicking over Josh’s entrance was all the preparation he got before Kane sat back on his heels, rolling on his condom. Josh grabbed the pillow, trembling with anticipation. “Are you going to beg me for it like you usually do?”

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“Please, Kane, please fuck me.” “I like that. Does your greedy ass need filling?” “You know it does. Always.” Kane growled. He thrust between Josh’s legs, penetrating him, grabbing his shoulders to shove all the way in, his full weight upon him. Oh God, it was delicious. The feel of Kane inside him was new and exciting every time. Josh gasped and panted. He couldn’t move beneath Kane, his cock trapped underneath him. He clutched the headboard and let Kane ride him. Moaning, Kane kissed Josh’s neck as he fucked, his breathing heavy, his mouth finding Josh’s ear. “I want to ask you something.” Josh gave an incoherent response. “Those times we did it rough on the ship, especially that time I tied you up in the engine room, you liked that, didn’t you?” Josh shuddered in remembrance of one of the hottest events of his life. “Yes.” “In the engine room for a moment I thought I was going too far because of the way you protested.” “That was all an act.” Josh panted, squirming as Kane hit his prostate and set him trembling all over. “So, do you have some sort of rape fantasy, Josh?” Kane’s voice was a silky, intimate whisper. Josh groaned helplessly. “Kind of.” “Hmm.” Kane increased the rhythm of his thrusts. “So, if one day you came home and you were accosted by a masked man, who tied you up and fucked you despite your protests—” “Yes, yes, oh God.” The weight of his glorious body made Josh delirious. “I’m learning something new about you every day, you kinky bastard.” Josh forced a hand under himself, grabbed at his cock desperately. It was just enough. He pushed against his own hand and back against Kane. “Please, please, make me come.” “Did you tell him all your secret fantasies?” “What?” Josh was dancing along the edge of climax, his eyes squeezed shut. Now was not the time to talk about Drew. “Don’t, Kane.” “So you didn’t?”

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“Oh God, no, okay. Please…” “So he never waited for you in the dark like I’m going to?” “No, Kane, no…” Josh howled as he spilled onto the bed sheets. “That’s good.” Kane withdrew from him and moved away, leaving Josh cold with the sweat drying on his body. He wasn’t even sure if Kane had come. If he had, it had been the most silent orgasm ever. He turned his head, following Kane’s progress as he got out of bed and took off his condom. His flushed face told Josh he’d come and so did the full condom. “Are you jealous of him?” The words hung in the silence a moment. “Yeah, I’m fucking jealous.” Kane walked into the bathroom, closing the door.

**** Kane was back in bed when Josh came upstairs from the kitchen with two cups of tea. “Thanks.” “Do you want breakfast?” “No.” Josh went to the wardrobe and took out a shirt and suit. He found boxers and socks in the drawer, then he dropped his robe. He felt awkward dressing in front of Kane, knowing his lover’s gaze moved over him as he stood naked. He didn’t know why. Wasn’t Kane intimate with every single part of Josh’s body? Didn’t he know Josh like the back of his hand? He glanced over his shoulder, found Kane’s eyes riveted on his ass. “Are you going to the gym?” “Yeah. You shouldn’t get dressed in here, you’re making me hard again.” Josh smiled self-consciously. The words Kane had spoken a few minutes ago sat in the silence between them. “Kane.” Josh fastened up his shirt. “Don’t talk about my ex again when you’re making love to me.” Kane had the grace to look ashamed. He reddened very slightly and nodded curtly. He slid naked from the bed and moved over to the bag in the corner, drawing out clothes. His cock was half-hard, resting against his leg. Josh glanced at the clock. “Want some help with that?”

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Kane shook his head. He took his cell from the bag. “Give me your number.” Josh recited it. “I’ll call you now so you’ve got my number.” “Okay.” “Can I call you at work?” Josh hesitated a moment. “Sure. Don’t forget to take your key.” “I won’t, but I might wander around Anchorage today and get a ride home with you later. What time do you finish?” “Five-thirty.” “Okay. I’ll let you know.” Kane pulled on some boxer briefs. Josh watched the tight white fabric mould itself around his bulge and his blood hummed with renewed arousal. He glanced once more at the clock. Damn it, he’d have to wait until tonight. Now he suspected he would be in a frenzy of lust all day. The drive to work through the snow was silent. The sun struggled to rise over the increasingly dark Anchorage as they headed for the shortest day of the year. When Josh pulled up in the parking lot and killed the engine, Kane leaned over to kiss him. Josh pulled away. He glanced around him quickly. Kane frowned. “What’s the matter? Can’t I kiss you goodbye?” “Not really, no.” One of Josh’s female colleagues walked past the car, looking at Kane with interest. Josh smiled half-heartedly. “Why not? Jesus, don’t tell me you’re not out at work.” “All right, then I won’t tell you.” “Christ.” Kane’s look of disgust flayed Josh. “What? You’re not out either.” “Hey, you work in an office, there shouldn’t be a problem with coming out. I have to be a little more circumspect at sea because—” “You like to fuck your passengers?” Josh cut in acerbically. Kane’s expression darkened. “You’re an asshole.” He got out of the car, slammed the door and walked away.

Josh went inside, nodding at colleagues in the spacious, open-plan office as he took his coat off.

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“Josh sweetheart, who’s that complete hunk I just saw in your car?” Alicia Townsend leaned over his desk, large breasts wobbling with barely contained excitement. “A friend from out of town. He’s staying with me a while.” “Josh, he’s hot, hot, hot. Won’t you bring him into the office?” “I don’t think so.” Alicia pouted and batted her thickly mascaraed lashes. “Not even for me?” “I’ll ask him,” Josh said half-heartedly. “Thank you honey, that would just about make my day.” Alicia skipped off. Josh sighed. He switched on his computer. While he was waiting for it to boot up, he took out his cell and checked the missed calls. He saved Kane’s number to his address book. Then his mind drifted back to the phone call last night with Drew. Why the hell did his ex think Josh would meet him? Madness. When he shifted in his chair, the soreness in his ass made him remember that morning. Christ, Kane was jealous. That made Josh feel very smug. He remembered the dirty words Kane had spoken in his ear about Josh’s fantasies and he couldn’t help but stiffen with need. He didn’t need to apologise to the bastard about not wanting to kiss him in public, but he texted him anyway. “I’m sorry.” The reply came back within seconds. “I’m sorry too. Have a good day, baby.”

**** Kane changed in the locker room and went into the gym. He started with weights, watching Brad who eyed him none too discreetly across the room. Finally Brad came over, standing behind him as Kane lifted. “You press a lot.” Kane didn’t reply. “Last week, when you jerked off in the shower, that was hot. I’d love you to repeat it.” Kane sighed. He didn’t break his rhythm. “Look, I’m with someone, so why don’t you get lost?” “Hey, that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. I’m not asking for your fucking hand in marriage.”

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Kane smiled reluctantly. “Jesus, man, you’ve got the hardest abs I’ve ever seen and possibly the biggest cock.” “Flattery will get you everywhere.” Brad grinned. “I know it. Why don’t I see you in the locker room later?” He walked off before Kane could reply. Kane finished his workout at his leisure. He considered asking Josh if Brad could come home with him one night for a little fun, like they’d had with Chester, but he suspected having a man in his home while sober was a little different than having him in a dark back room while drunk. Still, what would stop him from getting a quick blowjob in the locker room? Remembering the way he’d slid into Josh’s tight ass that morning and crushed him to the bed gave him a serious hard-on. Fuck, now was not the time to be thinking about that. He went back to the locker room and stripped, wrapping a towel around his waist. Brad came up behind him. “I was watching your ass while you were on the treadmill,” he said in Kane’s ear. “Along with every other guy in this place. And I was imagining burrowing my tongue between those hard buns of yours. I’ve been told I give the best rimjob in Anchorage, how about it?” Brad’s hot breath tickled Kane’s ear and his words made him shiver. What would be the harm in letting a stranger take him into ecstasy for a few minutes? Kane could forget about Josh and his complicated baggage and the ex. The fucking ex. He was so fucking jealous of the ex. A hand moved around to the front of his towel, loosening it, pulling it away. Brad’s hand slid between his thighs, cupped his balls, squeezing lightly. “You’re hard for me.” Kane braced himself against the lockers with both hands, eyes closed. He tried not to think about Josh, but Josh was all Kane could think about. He imagined the hand closing around his cock was Josh’s small, delicate one. He groaned, saw himself pinning Josh to that bed again and pounding him. Then he remembered Saturday morning. Josh throwing him out of the house and that ache he’d felt in his chest that he knew deep down he’d never lose.

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He pushed Brad’s hand away and snatched his towel back. “Sorry, dude, I’ve got all I want at home, thanks.” He walked away into the showers.

**** Ten minutes before lunchtime and Josh received a text from Drew reminding him about their meeting. He broke into a cold sweat. He couldn’t. He couldn’t and he wouldn’t. Not now. He had Kane. But Kane was temporary. They both knew that and they had already almost come to an end that weekend. Wouldn’t it be better to at least see if Drew was still with the man he’d left Josh for? Then at least he’d know he was in with a chance of getting him back once Kane left. Oh God, what was wrong with him? Drew had walked out on him after five years. He’d left Josh high and dry with the mortgage to pay and a cruise to take…alone. He couldn’t allow Drew back in his life after the way he’d broken him into pieces. Josh sat at his desk for another five minutes with anxiety eating him alive. Then he got up, put his coat on and left the office.

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Chapter Eleven

A flurry of snow hit Josh in the face as he crossed the road. He glanced guiltily towards the gym on the corner. Damn it, what did he have to feel guilty about? Kane had been back in his life a week and before that, a two week fling had been the extent of their intimacy. If he wanted to meet up with his ex, he could. Kane had already told him this wouldn’t be going anywhere. Even if it did, he would be gone by March and back screwing his way around the Med. He entered the café. It was busy, the cosy atmosphere and the home-cooking attracting business people and shoppers alike. Josh found Drew at the window seat that they had always shared when they’d met here at lunchtimes. Drew was a website designer who worked a mile or so away and this café had been convenient. Drew stood, delight plastered on his handsome face though a bruise marred his left cheek. A legacy from Kane’s fist. “You came.” Josh grunted and sat, draping his coat over the back of his chair. He picked up the menu for want of something to do with his hands. “It’s great to see you.” Josh ignored him. “Has he left you?” Drew reddened. “I’ll take that as a yes. Was it worth leaving a five year relationship for something which only lasted five months?” Drew cast his eyes down to the table, his hands folded before him. “No, it wasn’t. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I miss you.” Josh hadn’t quite expected him to be so candid. It put a lump in his throat. “That guy you were with, is it serious?” Josh sighed. “Not on his part. But I love him.” Drew looked like he’d been slapped in the face. “Do you still love me?” Josh swallowed. “I don’t know. Maybe.” Drew reached across the table and took his hand. “Come back to me. Let me make it up to you.”

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Josh pulled his hand back. “Drew, you walked out on me for someone better looking with more money. You screwed around on me for months before I found out, then you left me high and dry with a cruise to take on my own and a mortgage I can’t afford.” Drew took his wallet out immediately. “I can help you with that.” “I don’t want your fucking money.” The waitress hovered at their table. Josh ordered a coffee and Drew said he would have the same. She left an uncomfortable silence in her wake. “How was that cruise anyway?” Josh glared at him. “You know what, the guy you saw me with, Kane, he was the captain of the ship I sailed on.” Drew glowered. He didn’t like that at all. “He fucked me for two weeks straight, then he came up to Anchorage to carry on where he left off.” Drew’s face was a dull red. Josh enjoyed the hurt his words so obviously inflicted. “He came up to turn you into a back room whore,” Drew said. Josh’s mouth tightened. He sat back in his chair a moment, trying to calm himself. “You know what, I don’t even have to explain this to you, but I wasn’t doing anything I didn’t want in that back room. He gives me the freedom to be myself and he gives me what I want, whenever I want it. He’s perfect that way.” “But not in others?” Josh folded his arms, staring out of the window. “No, thought not. He’s come up here during his winter break to get laid, am I right? He’s not going to commit to you, is he?” “Who says I want to be committed to?” Josh snarled. “But you said you loved him.” Josh bit his lip. “Josh baby, I get that he shows you this wild time that I clearly never did but how come you opened up to him and not to me? Don’t you think that if you’d asked me to take you to the back room of Inferno and fuck you in front of a group of strangers that I would have done?” “Shut up.” Josh put his hands over his hot face.

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“I won’t shut up. I can be that man you want me to be, if you just give me another chance to make you happy. I can commit to you again for the long haul, you’ll see. I’ll be around long after he’s gone.” The coffees arrived. Josh stirred his with a trembling hand. “I don’t want you to do this,” he said in a low voice. “Not now. Not after all this time.” “I understand that it’s going to take you time to trust me again. Just let me show you. Give me the chance.” Josh sipped his coffee. His head ached with misery and confusion. “We were good together, you can’t deny that. It wouldn’t have lasted five years if we weren’t perfectly suited. We both wanted the same things and while it hurts me that clearly you wanted things that you couldn’t voice to me, now that I know, I can work on keeping you more satisfied sexually than I ever did.” Josh put down his cup. “Stop.” “Tell him to go home. Let me make this up to you.” “No.” Josh stood. Drew caught his arm. “I’ll wait for you. When he’s gone, I’ll be here.” Josh stalked out of the café. He stood outside a moment in the snow, eyes stinging, trembling all over. Someone approaching purposefully from his side attracted his attention and his heart sank as Kane reached him. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?” Kane glanced into the café and his gaze locked on Drew, still sitting at the window seat. Kane’s body tensed. “Oh I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” “Not now.” Josh looked both ways before he hurried across the road with Kane tailing him. “Not now? You’re having a rendezvous with your ex and it’s not okay for me to ask?” Josh turned to face him. “No, it’s not okay for you to ask. You’ve made it clear me and you are nothing but a fling during your downtime so don’t tell me who I can see.” Kane caught hold of his arm, yanking him back. His grey eyes smouldered with rage. “Hey, I turned down a hot guy at the gym twice for you.” “Am I supposed to be grateful? I don’t give a fuck who you screw! That back there,” Josh pointed to the café, “is the last five years of my life. You’re some hot guy from a cruise

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who’s come up here for a steady lay during his barren spell. I don’t have to fucking answer to you, Kane!” Kane’s eyes were like steel. He turned and walked away down the street. When Josh glanced back over to the café, Drew was grinning.

**** Josh expected Kane to be gone when he came home from work but no, the lights were on and the smell of cooking wafted into the hall as he hung up his coat and kicked off his shoes. He walked through the living room, tossing his briefcase onto a chair as he passed. Kane stood at the kitchen counter chopping vegetables. A pan simmered busily on the stove. Josh went to the fridge and took out a bottle of wine. He reached over Kane for a glass from the cupboard and poured the wine into it. He eyed the knife Kane held. He’d looked so mad at lunchtime that if he’d had that knife in his hand, he probably would have put it to good use disembowelling Josh. “Listen to me.” “Put the knife down first if you want to talk.” Kane frowned. “Oh please, you think I’d hurt you?” Josh didn’t reply. He sat at the table with his wine. Kane tossed down the knife and leaned against the kitchen counter. “All right, look. Of course I came up here for a good time, we both know that. I couldn’t forget the sex we’d had onboard the ship and I wanted more of the same. I wanted to lose myself in you for as long as you’d let me. But Josh…” Kane hesitated. “When you went home, you left an empty spot inside me.” “I’m sure you got another man to fill that,” Josh said crudely. “Shut up. I missed you. I told myself coming up here was the worst idea ever but I needed to see you again to see if I’d imagined what I thought was between us. And I know now that I didn’t imagine it.” Josh gulped his wine. “If you want to see him, I can’t do anything about that but I don’t want you to send me away just yet. I can go stay at a hotel, I can see you whenever you want, only, don’t let us be over. Not yet.”

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Josh stared. He had never seen Kane so earnest and so serious. Tears pricked at his eyes and he took back all the mean things he had ever thought about Kane. He stood, walked to his lover and let Kane embrace him hard.

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Chapter Twelve

Josh ignored all calls from Drew from then on. Kane didn’t comment when the phone rang and he saw Drew’s caller ID displayed. Josh just looked at him and switched off the cell. Their arrangement continued but the sex tailed off. It was some five days after he’d seen Drew and Kane hadn’t done more than kiss and caress him. But his touch was truly tender. He kissed Josh with such feeling and passion that Josh didn’t doubt that Kane had meant every word he said. That maybe, just maybe, Kane was falling for him. He hardly dared hope. December was ticking away and Freddie was demanding to know whether he and Erik would be catering for one or two on Christmas Day. Josh didn’t dare spoil it by asking.

**** “Want to go out for dinner?” Kane asked on Friday when Josh came home from work to find him sprawled on the couch reading. “Sure.” “Do you like Italian?” “Yeah, there’s one downtown which is really good.” “Cool. Perhaps we could have a few drinks after but keep it quieter than last week.” Kane smiled hesitantly as though trying to gauge how much he could mention about their back room exploits. Josh grinned ruefully. He bent down and kissed Kane. “I’ll jump in the shower.” The hot water caressed his needy body. He was sure he would get some from Kane that night with alcohol in him and he could hardly wait. Shamefully, his thoughts went back to the previous Friday. Him on all fours while strangers chanted at Kane to fuck him as Chester sucked his cock. Christ, it had been hot, no matter what that asshole Drew thought about it. He was pretty sure he would be jerking off to that memory forever. His prick was stiff with desire. He rubbed himself a little. When Kane decided to fuck him again, Josh wanted to be ready and willing. He didn’t want to blow his load now, but save it all up so he’d come like a hurricane later with Kane inside him. He took his hand away and willed his hard-on to go down.

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Kane went upstairs to the bedroom and looked through his clothes. He listened to the shower running and imagined the water caressing Josh’s lean, lovely body. He sighed, leaning his forehead against the wardrobe door. It wasn’t like he was deliberately denying Josh. He was merely being careful. After spilling his guts uncharacteristically on Monday, he felt exposed. Like he’d shown his soft underbelly to Josh. He didn’t feel it appropriate to pounce on him at every opportunity. He wanted Josh to see that there were other facets to his personality apart from sex beast, even if Kane was unsure what they might be. He was acting on signals and Josh’s signals didn’t particularly say that he wanted his ass pounded. Kane could wait. The shower stopped and Kane hoped Josh came out dripping in nothing more than a towel. He smoothed the rumpled bed down and thought about lying in it later when they came home. He enjoyed lying in Josh’s arms watching a movie. He enjoyed holding him at night when they fell asleep and although the need to possess Josh never went away, he liked the way their relationship had progressed into easy comfort and tenderness. He loved the way Josh kissed him and touched him, and he felt himself falling into the same kind of feelings he saw in Josh’s eyes. What was he going to do about that? Regardless, he had to go back to work in March so he couldn’t allow it to happen. But he’d decided to stay when he could have taken the opportunity that week to escape for good. He wanted to be with Josh, helplessly, hopelessly and for as long as he could. The bathroom door opened and soft footsteps padded down the landing. Josh appeared wearing a towel around his waist. He smiled at him and approached the bedside. Kane felt a kick inside, a thrill which started in Josh’s eyes. He pressed his lips to one wet shoulder. “You’re beautiful.” Josh beamed. He patted Kane on the backside. “Go shower, I’m starving.”

****

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Kane glanced around appreciatively as they were seated at their table. “Smells good.” “I hope you’re a fan of garlic. We both need to eat it to cancel each other out.” “Fine by me.” Kane smiled and glanced at the wine list. “Why don’t we have some champagne?” Taken aback, Josh said, “Are we celebrating?” “Sure we are. We made two weeks without you kicking my ass back to Miami.” Josh shrugged. “Hell, it’s not like I didn’t try.” He smirked. Kane glowered good-naturedly. They ordered garlic bread and pasta and drank the champagne. Josh felt it flow over him, sinking into his blood, relaxing him and making him ever more eager for Kane’s attentions. They chatted about their work and their families. Kane was an only child, Josh had a sister who lived in Canada. Kane had been in the navy before he had started captaining cruise ships. Kane ordered another bottle. They shared a dessert and didn’t much care who saw them. Then they ordered coffee. The weight of desire settled heavily into Josh’s stomach and he saw it reciprocated in Kane’s eyes. Kane started to smile ever so slightly. He caught their waiter’s eye and asked for the check. “What?” Josh asked. “You know what.” “Do I?” “Yes, you do. I read you like a book. A particularly filthy book. A book that might be banned on Amazon.” Josh reddened. He glanced around. “I’m not sure I can make it home.” Kane looked innocent. “Until what?” He ground his teeth. “Stop teasing.” Kane smiled serenely. He passed his credit card to the waiter without looking at the check. “Let me pay,” Josh said. Kane shook his head. “You can make it up to me in other ways.”

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Josh’s eyes whipped to the waiter who tried to pretend he hadn’t heard. He gave Kane his receipt and went away. “You embarrassed him.” Kane cackled. “No, I embarrassed you.” “You get off on it.” “Do I? If I got off on it, I would have come to that workplace of yours by now, thrown you over your desk and fucked you senseless in front of all your colleagues.” Josh shuddered. “I don’t know if that idea’s hot or not.” Kane threw a couple of bills on the table for a tip. “Come on, let’s go.” He stood and pulled out Josh’s chair, then helped him on with his coat. “Knock it off.” Kane clicked his tongue. “Manners don’t cost anything, Josh,” he said in an effeminate voice with a wink at the guy at the next table staring. He walked off, swinging his hips. Josh followed as quickly as he could. Kane was waiting for him in the outer lobby by the bathrooms. No one was around. Before Josh could speak, Kane gripped him by the collar of his coat and yanked him through the men’s room door. Josh gasped. Kane dragged him into one of the two cubicles, slammed and locked the door. Then Kane had him against the wall, mouth over his. Josh responded eagerly, excitement streaking through his blood, hands fumbling beneath Kane’s heavy winter clothes to touch bare flesh. Kane dropped the toilet lid and sat on it. He pulled Josh to stand between his knees, going for his belt. “We can’t, we can’t…” Josh panted around another fierce kiss. “Why not?” Kane hauled Josh’s pants and boxers down to suck him. “Oh, fuck.” Josh gripped Kane’s hair, ears strained for noise outside. “You’re so bad.” Kane looked up at him through thick lashes as he sucked, grey eyes wicked. He drew back, produced a condom from his pocket and opened his pants. “I want you to sit on me,” he said as he rolled it on his hard shaft. Josh looked dubiously at his pants and boxers. He didn’t particularly want to strip almost naked. “I don’t know if…”

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Kane grabbed Josh, spinning him around, pulling his pants and boxers down to his ankles. “Like this.” Kane sat Josh on his lap, facing away. Josh groaned as Kane’s hands roved inside his coat, up his shirt. He tilted back his head, arching into Kane’s mouth on his neck. This new position, where Kane had access to every inch of his body with mouth and hands felt so good. “Where’s the lube?” Kane pushed it into his hand. Josh reached behind himself, smoothed some over his entrance. “That’s hot,” Kane whispered in his ear. “We need to do a bit more of that. Me watching you play with yourself.” Josh turned his head and kissed him. He stood, shuffling into position, lowering himself onto Kane’s cock. Kane steadied Josh’s hips. His legs trembled as he pushed down, feeling the head of Kane’s cock breaching his ass. He breathed heavily, staying still a moment. Kane mouthed his neck. “You’re tight. Take your time.” “How can I take my time when we might be discovered and thrown to the cops any minute?” Josh complained. “Shhh. Just relax.” Kane’s hands stroked his sides. He continued to kiss Josh on his neck and face, pushing up ever so slightly. Josh slid down all the way, gasping, impaled. “Oh, fuck.” “Oh, that’s good. Shit…” Kane rubbed at a nipple with one hand and jerked Josh with the other. Josh writhed on Kane’s lap while Kane rocked into him, nibbling his neck. “Fuck, Josh, I’m not going to last, you’re so fucking good.” “Good, before we get arrested.” Kane’s hand moved from his nipple to his balls. After fondling, he sought the skin behind them, stroking, pressing deliberately. Josh squirmed. “Oh, my God.” Kane pressed harder. Come dribbled from Josh’s prick, staining his shirt. He cried out as Kane stimulated his prostate both inside and out. “Shush.” “I can’t, you’re—” “Fucking good?”

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“Really fucking good Kane!” Josh’s head hung back limply. Kane thrust up into him while jerking his cock and stroking his perineum. Sensation came from every single area imaginable. Even the mouth against his neck drove him closer to climax. “Oh God, oh God, Kane!” “Come on, baby, see if you can beat me to it.” Josh turned his head. They kissed as he ground down on Kane, riding him, legs spread as wide as he could, rocking against both his wonderful hands. Semen continued to dribble from Josh’s cock. Never in his whole life had anyone done to him before what Kane and Chester had now done twice. His balls were covered in white. Kane’s hand was slick with it, the lubrication delicious. Kane’s thighs trembled and Josh knew he was coming. He gasped Josh’s name against his neck, bucking up. They kissed again as Kane sighed in satisfaction. “Your turn.” His hand moved faster on Josh. He continued pressing with his fingertips and thrusting up, still hard. Josh let his head drop back and closed his eyes. He whimpered and whined and finally grabbed Kane’s thighs, nails digging in as he came to an explosive finish. “Mmm.” Kane nuzzled his hair as Josh lay limply against him, panting. “Did you hear that guy come in and take a piss as you were in the middle of coming?” “What?” Josh hurt his neck he whipped it around so fast. “Joking. Holy hell, Josh, I don’t know how it’s possible to keep getting hotter but you do.” Josh smiled shyly. “You’re drunk.” He felt deliriously, wondrously happy. He reached out for some toilet tissue and wiped Kane’s hand before he attended to the mess in his own groin. “Only a little bit. And you know I find you hot drunk or sober, so don’t give me that.” Josh climbed off his perch unsteadily. Kane’s condom came with him and he caught it gingerly, tying a knot and dropping it to the floor. “Thank you, darling.” “My pleasure.” Josh finished cleaning up, making a tidy heap of paper on the floor with the condom. He fastened his pants and boxers and waited for Kane to stand so he could flush the mess. “You shouldn’t flush that.”

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“Do you want me to walk outside with it and have some guy barge in as I’m standing with a rubber full of your cum?” Kane took it from him. “I’ll do it, I have no shame.” “I know that.” Kane caught him by the neck with his other hand and kissed him. “Thank you for letting me have wicked public sex with you again. You spoil me.” “Idiot.” Josh slid his hands under Kane’s coat and held him a moment. “Did you want to get a drink or can we go straight home?” He was amenable to Kane’s wishes but he hoped for the latter. He was too tired to go partying. “I think we can go straight home, my love.” Josh’s eyes flew to Kane’s at the seeming slip and he looked away quickly. He manoeuvred himself around Josh to unlock the door, strode out of the stall and dumped the condom in the trash can just as a man walked into the bathroom. The stranger eyed Kane and the rubber and Josh squeezing out of the cubicle. He didn’t say anything, only went into the other cubicle and locked it with a firm and noisy click. “Shit,” Josh mouthed at Kane. Kane merely smirked. He washed his hands and Josh joined him, rinsing them as quickly as he could before he darted out with hands still wet as he heard the man flush. Kane followed him leisurely and held the restaurant door open for Josh to exit first. “You should relax and chill, baby. You’ll give yourself a stroke with all your worrying.” He put an arm around Josh and led him down to the road. Josh leaned against him, hiding his face from the snow. “I can’t wait until we’re home in bed,” he murmured. Kane held him tighter. He kissed the top of Josh’s head. “Me neither.”

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Chapter Thirteen

Josh and Kane stood entwined under a hot shower. Kane washed Josh all over with shower gel before he travelled his body, taking his time to explore every inch with hands and mouth. Josh’s skin sang. Kane looked like a supplicant when on his knees, arms around Josh’s body, mouth on his hips, tracing the sharp crest of his pelvis. Josh stroked Kane’s hair, watching the movement of his sensual mouth. Kane looked up through his thick, jet lashes. His lips moved inward to the hair at Josh’s groin, nuzzling. Josh’s stiff prick twitched with excitement. Kane’s hands slid slowly over his buttocks, kneading lightly. “Did Freddie and Erik say you could bring a guest for Christmas?” he asked, barely audible over the drum of the water, grey eyes fixed intently on Josh’s. Surprised by the question, Josh nodded. He watched Kane, hardly daring to breathe. “Then I’ll come to Iowa for Christmas if you still want me.” He punctuated this with a kiss to the head of Josh’s cock. Josh was so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to say. He pulled Kane to his feet and held him hard. They dried off and fell into bed, hair still damp, rolling across it in bliss, kissing, touching, rubbing their bodies together to arouse each other and themselves. Kane pulled Josh on top of him. He opened his legs around him, lifted his pelvis so their cocks were jammed together. Josh groaned, grinding himself down. He reached between them, grabbing both cocks, jerking them off slowly. Kane breathed heavily. He buried his face in Josh’s neck. “Do you want to make love to me?” Josh lifted his head in shock. “What?” “You heard me.” Kane cupped Josh’s ass, sliding his body sensually against him. “Are you sure?” “Sure I’m sure. Don’t hesitate too long, I might change my mind.”

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Josh scrambled to the drawer, fumbling for the essential supplies. Kane laughed softly as Josh pounced on him, kissing him insistently. “Oh, God.” He worked his way down Kane’s body, planting adoring kisses. “Remember when we did this onboard?” “Of course I remember.” Kane stretched under him like a sensual cat. “You made me blow myself, fucked me with a dildo, then finally screwed me yourself.” Josh left a wet line of saliva down Kane’s hard cock. “As I said last time you mentioned this, I didn’t make you do anything. I think blowing yourself must be one of your great pleasures in life.” Kane shrugged, folding his arms casually above his head. “If you can’t please yourself, who can you please?” “You’re outrageous. I never met anyone who could blow himself before or anyone who freely bragged about liking it.” Josh moved onto Kane’s balls, licking the soft skin of his scrotum. “If I haven’t got anyone to do it for me, why not? I believe in frequent masturbation,” Kane replied. “You mean frequent auto-fellatio.” “That too.” “I want to watch you again.” “I know you do. I’m saving myself. At the moment I’m much more interested in your hard cock in my ass.” Josh groaned. He knelt back, pushing Kane’s knees up and open. Squirting lube onto his fingers, he felt between Kane’s legs, locating his entrance, rubbing one finger slowly around and over it. Kane undulated beneath him, sighing. He pulled Josh up to his mouth for a long, leisurely kiss while Josh gently worked his finger into Kane’s ass. Josh remembered the feeling of Kane’s tightness around his cock. He was so excited by the prospect of being inside him again, he didn’t know how he would last. Taking his time, he found the bump of Kane’s prostate and pressed. Kane hissed. “Oh, my God.” Sliding down Kane’s body, Josh put his mouth around Kane’s cock as a dribble of semen ran from it. “Oh fuck, fuck…” Kane writhed beneath him, heavy limbs bucking on the bed.

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“I forgot how much you like this.” Kane panted. “Please Josh, please stop, I’m going to blow my load.” Josh licked the leaking cockhead once more before he withdrew his finger. Kane moaned softly and grabbed his shaft, jerking off while he watched Josh roll on a condom and add further lubrication to it. Josh knelt between Kane’s legs, resting his cock between his muscular cheeks. “You’ll tell me if I hurt you?” “Maybe. A little pain is nice.” Kane grinned wickedly. Josh leaned over him, smiling. They shared a long kiss as he pressed inside. Kane gasped. He clutched hard at Josh’s back, bringing him closer. Josh, barely in, rested a moment, waiting for Kane to relax. Kane breathed deeply. He threw his head back with a loud groan as Josh pushed into him to the hilt. “Are you okay?” “Yes.” Kane captured his lips greedily. Josh kissed him. He withdrew an inch and sheathed himself again. “Fuck, fuck…oh God, Josh.” Josh buried his face against Kane’s neck, listening to his cries as he started to fuck him, slow and deep. The tightness around him guaranteed he wouldn’t last more than a few minutes but from the sounds of it, neither would Kane. His thighs held Josh hard. His hands grasped at his buttocks, pulling Josh forward, lifting his pelvis to meet each thrust. It was perfect. Something from Josh’s fantasies made flesh. Suddenly such emotion rose within him that he could hardly contain it. He turned Kane’s face to his and kissed him. They gasped into each other’s mouths, tongues tangling. Josh moved faster and stroked Kane’s cock. Kane arched beneath him. His cries became louder. His body thrashed, strained, his cock seemingly swollen bigger than ever in Josh’s hand. Josh’s balls ached and he pressed ever deeper into Kane, face against the damp skin of his neck. When Kane peaked below him, shuddering violently, all that emotion came spilling out. “I love you, Kane, I love you.”

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Kane spurted over his hand with a loud gasp. “I know you do.” He grasped Josh’s head, kissed him hard and Josh came, bucking into the writhing body below him and praying to God that this joy would never end.

**** They were sweatily entwined when Josh finally opened his eyes. He nuzzled at Kane’s neck, stroked his damp hair. Kane held him close with Josh still sheathed inside him. Kane’s heart thundered against his chest, mirroring his own and he knew his words had changed something between them forever. He glanced up at Kane’s beautiful face cautiously. He lay with eyes closed, lips parted slightly, sweat gleaming on his upper lip. Josh pressed a kiss to the chiselled line of his jaw. Kane stirred. His lashes lifted and he turned his head, grey eyes fixing on Josh. Josh waited with butterflies rising in his stomach. Waited for Kane to be angry, to castigate him for his words. But Kane smiled sweetly. He stroked Josh’s face with gentle fingertips. “I should submit to you more often.” Josh pressed a reverent kiss into the palm of his hand. “I love the sounds you make when I’m inside you,” he whispered. “Come here.” Kane kissed him deeply, passionately. They rolled onto their sides, mouths never breaking, touching, caressing, until finally, Kane pulled Josh’s head against his chest and held him close.

**** Kane had fallen asleep when Josh slid from his embrace. He cleaned up quickly in the bathroom and brought a wet wipe back with him. Pulling the covers down a little, he wiped the drying patch of semen from Kane’s belly. Kane stirred. He reached for Josh and Josh leaned over him to turn out the light before he sank once more into Kane’s arms, a place he never hoped to leave.

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Chapter Fourteen

“Hey sleepy head,” a voice said. “I brought you breakfast.” Josh blinked, opening his eyes to wan daylight. Kane knelt on the bed with a breakfast tray full of goodies. He groaned in delight, sitting up while Kane sat beside him. He put the tray between them. It contained a pot of tea, fruit, toast and scrambled eggs. “What have I done to deserve this?” Kane smiled almost shyly. “Like you need to ask? When a man fucks me the way you did last night, he gets breakfast in bed.” Josh’s face heated in pleasure. He took a strawberry and bit into it. “You don’t often do that, do you?” “Not at all.” Josh hesitated, watching Kane pouring two cups of tea. “Has there been…has anyone else done that to you since me last summer?” Kane looked up, regarding him a moment before he shook his head. Warmth blossomed through Josh’s chest. He couldn’t help the silly smile which engulfed his face. Kane reached out. He dug a finger into Josh’s ribs. “Does that please you?” Josh jerked, laughing, rocking the breakfast tray. “Yes. I like to know I have exclusive rights to your ass.” Kane smiled and snatched a kiss. “Bad boy. Don’t think you’re going to be using me as your personal toy from now on.” Josh’s fingers wandered into his lap, traced the half hard bulge in Kane’s boxers. “It’s okay, I already have my personal toy.” Kane grinned. “And it’s ready to service you whenever you need it.” Josh sipped some coffee. “Which is all the time.” “Don’t I know it.” “What’s the problem? Can’t you keep up?” Kane gestured to his groin. “Do I look like I can’t keep up?”

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Josh swallowed. “Definitely not.” Kane stroked his arm. His smile was tender. It melted Josh to the core. After breakfast, Kane got into the shower and Josh phoned Freddie to give him the good news. “Hey Freddie, it’s Josh.” “Hi darling!” “I’m calling to tell you I’m bringing plus one, if that’s okay?” Freddie squealed at a pitch audible only to dogs. “Captain Fantastic is coming for Christmas! God, I’m getting hard just thinking about it.” Josh rolled his eyes even though Freddie couldn’t see him. “You’re going to be on your best behaviour, aren’t you?” “Josh, sweetheart, when have you ever known me be on anything else? You must have sucked his cock real good to get him to agree to this.” “I didn’t even ask him, he volunteered. I’ve put out for him on a regular basis though. And he let me fuck him last night.” “Oh my God, I think I’m going to come,” Freddie cried. “I’m putting you on speakerphone, honey. Erik, Josh fucked Captain Marvellous last night!” “That’s really hot, Josh,” drawled Erik. “Seriously, you guys…” “Josh baby, you’re going to have to wind this up because I’m so hot imagining the captain on his back getting fucked that I need Erik to fuck me.” “Wait a minute, Freddie. I need to tell you something.” “What?” Freddie said on a breathless moan. Josh suspected he had already started. “It’s Drew, he’s been back in touch. He wants me back. Kane’s really jealous, we had a massive fight.” “Christ.” “It seemed to give him a kick in the ass. He said he’d missed me and he didn’t want us to finish and I…” Josh hesitated to voice the secret things he’d been thinking, “I can’t help feeling he’s only agreeing to be fucked and coming with me at Christmas to keep me away from Drew.” “Sweetie, is that so bad?” “Yes, it means he’s very calculating.”

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“Oh come on, we’re all calculating when we want something. Don’t tell me you haven’t been working on everything possible to get him to stay.” “I guess.” “Right. Just because he’s done all that, doesn’t mean he didn’t want it. Did he look like he was faking it last night?” Josh shuddered in memory. “No.” “Have some faith and just let it happen. He’s already more than halfway there, baby. Got to go, book your tickets for Christmas Eve, love!” Freddie hung up. Josh glanced up to see Kane standing in the doorway wearing a towel around his waist. Was Freddie right? Was Kane more than halfway there? His gaze dropped down Kane’s body. Sure looked like it from where he was sitting. “Freddie and Erik are glad that you’re coming for Christmas,” he said. “That’s great.” Kane took his towel off and rubbed his hair with it. Josh tried not to stare at the heavy equipment swaying with the motion of Kane’s body. “I think the offer included New Year. I’ll have to check before I book the tickets. Would you want to leave before then?” “No, I’ll stay for New Year.” Josh’s heart sang with glee. “When you go online to book, use my credit card. I’ll pay for your ticket.” “No, Kane,” Josh said immediately. “No arguments. I already know you can barely cover the mortgage, remember? My treat.” “You’re a wonderful man.” “I know.” Kane hung his towel over the radiator. He moved towards the bed and smiled as Josh’s gaze moved down his superb body. “See anything you like?” Josh nodded. “Can I pay you for the ticket by being your slut?” Kane’s smile widened. “Now you’re talking.” He pulled the covers off Josh, leaving him lying naked and already hard. “Remember something I mentioned last night?” Josh thought and didn’t. “I’d like to see you play with yourself.”

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Josh squirmed with excitement. Kane was turning him into quite the exhibitionist and he loved it. He leaned over to the drawer and took out the lube. He reached in again for the souvenir from the cruise Kane had given him. “Would you like me to use this?” He held up the glass dildo. “Yes.” Kane crawled onto the bed, his cock almost fully hard. Josh lay back. His heart beat fast with arousal. “Tell me what you want me to do.” “Touch yourself all over first. Nice and slow.” Josh ran his hands down his torso to his thighs and back up. He brought his hands to his chest, squeezing his pecs before concentrating on his nipples, rubbing them to erection. As Kane watched, he wet one finger, rubbing the hard peak of each, leaving it glistening. “That’s nice.” Encouraged, Josh kept his left hand playing with his nipple and slid his right down his body, over his belly. He splayed both legs wide so Kane could see everything. He stroked his inner thighs and fondled his balls before gripping his shaft. He sighed a little, undulating deliberately for Kane’s benefit, lifting his pelvis to the motion of his own stroking. Something about this was so thrilling – having Kane watch what he usually did only in private. Having Kane excited watching him please himself. “God.” Kane’s cock was fully hard but he didn’t touch it. “I imagined you doing this. Coming while you thought of me.” “Oh, Christ, and I did. Every day.” Josh reached for the lube and squirted it into his palm and onto the fingers of his left hand. Wrapping his right back around himself, he started to jerk off leisurely, while seeking between his buttocks with his left hand. Kane caught his breath. Josh was sure Kane could see his tight little hole as he stroked it, lubing it up slowly, feeling it flutter under his touch. “Put a finger in.” Josh did as he was told. He writhed like a porn star under his own touch. “You little slut. You don’t need me.” Josh grinned. Kane had no idea how much he needed him. Yes, he had years of practice pleasing himself but nothing came close to the orgasm he had when Kane was inside him. Kane reached for the dildo. He lubed it and handed it to Josh. The glass toy was cold in his hand and in his rear, so he eased it in slowly.

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Kane got off the bed. He fished in the pocket of his jeans which were slung across a chair in the corner and returned holding his cell. Josh sat up. “Oh no.” “Oh yes.” Kane climbed back on the bed, clicking a couple of buttons, holding the cell up. “Give me something to remember for posterity, baby.” Josh lay back reluctantly, looking at the camera lens. He moved the dildo in and out. A flush rose on his cheeks as though dozens of people watched behind the camera. He had a disturbing thought. God, what if, when he and Kane were done, he posted the video on the Internet and made Josh into some sort of porn star? He got even hotter…the idea turned him on. He breathed heavily, shifting sensually on the bed. “That’s right.” Kane circled his cock with one big hand, jerking off as he watched. Josh moaned. He rocked onto the dildo and stroked his cock ever more swiftly, twisting his hand around the head. “Fuck Josh, you’re so hot.” His orgasm was close, like an approaching tsunami about to override Josh’s senses. He panted for breath, eyes on Kane’s cock, working himself ever harder. He thrashed on the bed. He wanted more than his own hands. “Oh God, please…come here, please…” “This is supposed to be a solo show. Prove you don’t need me.” “I know but…oh God, I need you to…” “What?” Kane crawled forward between Josh’s knees, still filming the action. “I need you to…put your tongue…” “Where?” Josh pulled the dildo free. “Oh God here, please.” Kane looked down at his wet hole a moment. “Do you mean you want me to rim your tight ass, Josh? Speak up for the camera.” “Yes, yes…please.” Josh gasped as Kane gripped his knees, forcing them up, spreading him open before a hot tongue circled his entrance. Josh cried out. Kane held his cell close as he lapped at Josh, wetting and opening him thoroughly. “Oh God, oh God.” Josh jerked off even harder. “Please don’t stop.”

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“That’s it. Let me feel you come around my mouth, you little slut.” Kane burrowed inside with the tip of his tongue. Josh squealed. White-hot heat rolled over him as he trembled violently with release. He clutched at Kane’s hair, holding his head in place until finally the waves died away and the lapping of Kane’s tongue was almost painful. He pushed Kane away and fell back motionless. Kane laughed softly. “My turn.” Josh opened his eyes to see his lover straddling his chest, hand around his own cock, jerking swiftly. “Oh God.” Josh groaned. “Come all over me.” Kane still held his cell in one hand. “You can count on that,” he grunted. Josh watched Kane’s body tighten and tense before his knees almost bowed, his thighs trembling, gasps spilling from his lips. Josh grabbed at his hips, holding onto Kane hard as he spurted over his chest and throat, some hitting Josh on the lips. “Fuck.” Kane eased the last drops from his prick. When he looked at Josh, Josh licked his lips slowly and deliberately, smacking them. “Mmm.” Kane laughed. He ran a finger through the semen on Josh’s chest, rubbing it in slowly. “Someone needs a shower.” “I might just lie here all day with your cum on me. Like the slut I am.” Josh captured Kane’s hand and licked his finger. “Jesus.” Kane leaned down and kissed him hard. “You’re amazing. I adore you.” Josh stared up at him with his heart suddenly hammering hard. “You do?” Kane looked like he’d realised he’d said too much. He got off the bed, tossing his cell away and walked into the bathroom. Josh lay sprawled on the bed with a helpless smile splitting his face. Oh God, Kane adored him. Freddie was right. Definitely more than halfway there. By Christmas Josh intended for the L word to spill from Kane’s lips.

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Chapter Fifteen

Christmas music played on the radio in the kitchen while Kane stacked the dishwasher. Their bags stood in the hall by the front door. Upstairs Josh checked their tickets for the tenth time. He straightened the bed, rumpled from a long, slow love-making session that morning and hung up the robe he had given Kane that morning as an early present. They weren’t coming back from Iowa until the third of January. Josh had expected Kane to book a flight straight from there to Miami but no, he was returning to Anchorage and hadn’t said anything about going home. Josh hadn’t said anything either. He didn’t dare speak. Superstitious, he feared that one wrong word would ruin their happiness. His cell vibrated in his pocket and Josh pulled it out, expecting the caller to be Freddie, checking they were on time for their flight. But no, it was Drew’s name displayed. Josh hesitated a moment before he answered. “Hey, baby.” “What do you want?” “Don’t be like that. I’ve given you plenty of time to think about my offer. Have you sent that boyfriend of yours away yet?” Josh glanced towards the door, lowering his voice. “No I haven’t. Didn’t I give you your answer in the coffee shop?” “I don’t think you did.” “He’s not going home. We’re going away for Christmas.” “I see. When will you be back?” “After New Year.” “Will you be ready to talk then?” “No, I won’t be ready to talk. I don’t want you back!” “You can play happy families with him as much as you want Josh, he’s still nothing more than a cheap screw. A man who uses you like his toy and takes you to back rooms—” “Fuck you!” “I told you I’ll be waiting when he’s gone and I will. I’m ready to commit to you for good, baby.”

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“Go to hell!” Josh hurled the phone onto the bed with tears stinging his eyes. Then he noticed that Kane stood in the doorway. “Just checking you’ve called the cab,” he murmured. “Yeah, it’s on his way.” Shit, shit. “Kane…” Kane turned away. “I need to finish up downstairs.” He hurried out.

**** Kane didn’t speak on the way to the airport but when Josh felt discreetly for his hand in the back of the taxi, Kane closed his fingers around it and held it. The flight to Des Moines took just over five hours and Kane was silent for the most part, reading a book or looking out of the window. When they’d had dinner and a drink had relaxed him, Josh looked around at his fellow passengers before he touched Kane’s hand. Kane turned to look at him from his contemplation of the dark clouds outside his window. “Listen, this morning—” “Persistent, isn’t he?” “Yes. He always was. But he knows the score.” “But you might go back to him when I go home?” Josh swallowed. Those grey eyes sparked with violet hues, almost burning him alive. “I might have to, to ease the pain of being without you.” Kane held eye contact for the longest time before he looked away. He kept his hold on Josh’s hand.

** ** After enduring a rocky landing in a snowstorm, they walked through the airport to baggage claim. As they waited at the carousel, Kane’s shoulder brushed Josh’s. Josh turned his gaze to Kane’s, who smiled tenderly. Josh let his head rest against his lover’s arm for the briefest moment before he moved away.

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Freddie and Erik stuck out like sore thumbs at the barrier waving a homemade sign declaring Captain Fantastic and his hot Alaskan Lover. Erik, tall and red-haired, wore black and red, while Freddie, short and dark, wore bright pink and turquoise. “Christ,” muttered Kane. “Can I go home?” Josh squeezed his hand. “Smile, sweetie.” “Darlings!” Freddie threw himself at Josh, choking the breath from him before he drew back to devour Kane with hungry eyes. “My word, Captain America, you’re just as hot off your ship.” Kane rolled his eyes. “Hello, Freddie, Erik.” Erik hugged Josh. “Great to see you, man.” “You too.” Josh looked around. They were causing quite a commotion as well as blocking the way out. “Shall we go?” “Let’s. Erik, baby, lead the way because I’ve forgotten where we left the car.” Freddie linked Josh’s arm and marched him away, leaving Kane to push their luggage trolley. “Honey, seriously, I was hard the moment he appeared. I think I’m about ready to come in my pants.” “Freddie, please, he’ll hear you.” Freddie cackled. “Like I care. Shit Josh, is he still fucking you as good as he did onboard?” “Better.” Freddie groaned. “Fuck. How are the two of us going to keep up with you guys every night? You’ll be breaking my bedsprings.” Josh blushed and smiled. “It’s good to be here, Freddie.”

**** Freddie and Erik’s house was as lavish and extravagant as Josh had imagined. A sprawling three storey affair on the corner of the block, it boasted an indoor swimming pool and a home cinema. Narrow flights of stairs twisted and turned between the various levels, the walls crammed with erotic art and photos of Erik and Freddie. Their hosts showed them to their room, wildly decorated in carnation and cerise pink with a four-poster bed with

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chiffon drapes. Kane stood staring in disbelief while Freddie told them to wash up and come down to a late supper in ten minutes. Josh lay down on the bed, letting one drape fall over him so Kane was a misty, exciting shadow on the other side. “I always wanted to get fucked in a four-poster.” Kane swept the drape aside and put one knee on the bed. “And you shall. Even if it is something out of a Barbara Cartland novel.” Laughing, Josh pulled him down on top of him and they kissed deeply. Kane held his head gently in one hand while he kissed him. One thigh pressed between Josh’s, making his need plain. Josh broke away. “We can’t do anything now.” Kane nuzzled his neck, arousing him madly. “I know. I only want to kiss you, baby.” Josh gave his mouth back with a groan. They kissed each other breathless, tongues tangling, hands grasping through clothes. A shout came from downstairs. “Come on guys, put each other down!” Their lips separated slowly and Josh watched Kane’s pupils shrink as he opened his eyes. His lover grinned ruefully. “Rain check?” “Most definitely.” Kane got up and held his hand out to help Josh up.

**** Supper was vegetarian nibbles, warm bread and copious amounts of wine followed by large slabs of homemade Christmas cake, coffee and liqueurs. The four of them sat on cushions around the large coffee table while the plasma TV played on low and the lights on the huge, fragrant tree winked. Outside the snow continued to fall. The scene was like something from a fairy tale and Josh had his prince beside him. He squeezed Kane’s knee and grinned at his own corny thoughts. Kane smiled serenely.

**** Kane had forgotten that Erik was normal enough but Freddie really was better in small doses. Still, Freddie had pushed Josh at Kane on the cruise so Kane guessed that he ought to

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thank Freddie for that. The invite here was nice too even if Kane really wanted to be back in Alaska with Josh lying naked in front of the fire. No matter, he was with Josh for Christmas. That was precious. He scowled. He was falling deeper and deeper every day. What would happen when he left? He couldn’t return to Alaska for another fling next winter, that was for sure. Not when Josh would have gone back to that fuckwit Drew for more shitty second helpings. What was Kane going to do? The sensible thing would be to leave Iowa for Miami straight after Christmas, not go back to Anchorage with Josh after New Year. That would make parting even harder. But Kane had never done sensible. He had only done passion and desperate need and something he had been forever looking for since Cody, try as he might to deny that. Josh had a silly grin on his face. That drunken grin which Kane had seen many times. Kane smiled. He didn’t need to think about this now. He had a week in which to figure out how to end the relationship without leaving his heart in Anchorage.

**** The party broke up shortly after midnight. Josh and Kane took turns showering before they said goodnight to their hosts and went to bed. Josh lay beneath the pink covers softly illuminated through chiffon by the bedside lamp. The butterflies in Kane’s stomach took flight. That never happened. But there they were. Kane crawled into bed. “You’re so beautiful.” Josh reddened at his words, which made him more stunning. Kane took him into his arms and kissed him. They cuddled quietly until Josh murmured, “What I said to you on that Friday night. I know you haven’t wanted to mention it, but I’m sorry anyway.” Kane turned his head to look into crystal blue eyes. For a moment he wasn’t sure what Josh meant. It couldn’t be for saying he loved Kane, could it? After all, he’d come close to it himself by telling Josh he adored him. He stared a moment longer and saw that yes, it was. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

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“Come on, you don’t have to be sorry for that.” “I don’t?” Josh looked both hopeful and wary. “No.” Josh continued to look at him as though waiting for something more but Kane didn’t have anything else to add. Instead, he did what he did during all crises of emotion: he got sexual. “How about I give you the best blowjob of your life?” He slid beneath the covers. Josh tried to protest, either because he still wanted to talk or because their hosts were down the hall, but Kane didn’t care. As he sucked his lover’s cock and Josh tried to stifle his moans with his hand, Kane considered how the hell he was going to be able to walk away.

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Chapter Sixteen

The door burst open at some ridiculous hour. All Josh knew was that the light filtering through the curtains was grey but he was warm and toasty beside his lover. “Come on, guys! Merry Christmas!” Freddie jumped on him, ruffling his hair. Kane grunted and rolled onto his side. “Get your lazy asses up, present opening starts in ten with breakfast to follow.” Freddie disappeared. Josh blinked. Head pounding, he realised he had a hangover. Shit. He groaned and snuggled up to Kane’s back, an arm around him. “Merry Christmas, gorgeous.” “You too.” It was a lazy, hoarse whisper. “I have such a headache.” “That’s because you drank most of the wine in the house last night.” “No, I didn’t.” Josh dug his fingers into Kane’s ribs and Kane flinched, cursing. “Thank you for that wonderful blowjob last night. That was something else. You didn’t let me return the favour, though.” “That’s because you started snoring as soon as you’d blown your load.” Josh let his lips travel over Kane’s neck, felt his lover shiver. “I’m sorry. You only did it to shut me up, though.” “Shut up.” “There you go again. Heaven forbid I should talk about feelings.” Kane grabbed Josh’s hand, forced it into his groin and over his erection. “Listen, the feelings I have right now are that I would like to push this somewhere hot and tight and get off but unfortunately I have the all-singing, all-dancing Des Moines fag duo downstairs waiting to ply us with more alcohol, so it’ll have to keep. Along with your feelings.” Josh rolled away. “You’re a bitch in the morning.” “You’ve noticed.” “Asshole.” “Sticks and stones.” Kane caught his shoulder before he could get out of bed. “Where are you going?” He pulled Josh on top of him. “Don’t I get a kiss on Christmas morning?”

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“Why should you?” “Because you love me?” Josh regarded him a moment in disbelief. Kane cupped Josh’s head and brought him down into a sweet, sensual kiss. Josh melted. Kane’s warm, soft mouth spoke of such desire, such passion that Josh truly began to have hope for the first time. That Kane was now threequarters of the way there. “Come on!” screeched a voice from downstairs. Kane sighed, let Josh go and slipped from the bed. Josh admired his lover’s tall, muscular silhouette in the half light. He reminded himself that Kane had a job to go to and no matter how he might feel, that job would take him thousands of miles away.

**** The fire blazed in the living room, the logs crackling, the heady scent of the Christmas tree perfuming the air. Freddie and Erik crouched in front of it in high excitement opening presents. Already a pile of books, DVDs, clothes and various sex toys sat unwrapped on the floor. “Come on, you slackers.” Erik moved to the coffee table where a bottle of champagne stood in an ice bucket. Josh glanced at his watch. “Erik, it’s eight o’clock.” “And it’s Christmas, Josh, you stick in the mud.” Freddie shrieked and clapped his hands as Erik popped the cork and filled four glasses. Freddie handed them out. “A toast. To friends.” Everyone made the toast and drank. Josh and Kane sat by the coffee table while Freddie pulled presents from under the tree and pushed them into their hands. Josh had given all his presents to their hosts last night, one for Erik and Freddie and two for Kane. He hadn’t noticed Kane with anything and Kane had been very secretive after he’d been shopping in Anchorage. Josh had seen him wrapping presents to send to Miami for his parents and friends but not a hint of anything else. It was quite possible that Kane hadn’t bought him anything, which Josh would have to deal with gracefully. Kane opened a present from Freddie and Erik, staring at the luminous pink silicone inside it. “It’s a vibrating cock ring,” Freddie said. “We know you don’t need help staying

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up, but it’ll make Josh come extra hard when you press it against his taint while you’re doing him.” Josh’s face heated and Kane looked amused. “Thank you, guys, that’s very thoughtful of you.” Freddie beamed and handed Josh an envelope. He opened it to find tickets for a threeday stay at a lodge in Denali National Park, which was a couple of hundred miles north of Anchorage. Josh had been with his parents when he was younger, but never with a partner even though he and Drew had always planned to go. For a moment, he was filled with high excitement at the prospect of a vacation with Kane before he remembered the seasons. Sure enough, when he glanced again at the tickets, they were dated for between June and September. Kane would be long gone, fucking his way around the Mediterranean again. “This is wonderful,” he told Freddie and Erik. “Thank you so much.” He handed the tickets to Kane to see. Kane glanced at them and put them on the table without saying anything. Erik gave Josh another gift, a medium sized box, wrapped in shiny silver paper and a chiffon bow. Its tag said it was from Kane. Josh grinned. “You sneak. How did you hide this from me?” “I put it in your cleaning cupboard. Guaranteed you wouldn’t find it there.” Erik guffawed while Josh glared. Inside the box, he found a Kindle e-book reader. He lifted it out, turning it over in his hands, unable to believe his eyes. “I don’t know what to say.” “I loaded it with a few books. I looked at the books I saw on your shelf and chose stuff I thought you might like.” “There better be some man-on-man there,” Freddie said sternly. Kane grinned wickedly. “There might be.” “Okay, so we know what we’re doing after dinner, letting Josh read porn to us.” Erik sniggered. Josh put his arm around Kane’s neck. “You know the way to my heart.” Kane kissed him. He held Josh close a moment before Erik pushed a present at him. It was from Josh and he held his breath in excitement as Kane opened it. The thick book contained erotic gay tales of pirates, an in-joke from their cruise, when Josh had called Kane an ass pirate.

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“Oh my God, I’m sensing a theme here,” said Freddie. Kane smiled at Josh. He flicked a few pages and started to read. “Captain Jack’s huge fuckstick stood tall and proud from a nest of dark hair. ‘Bend over boy,’ he growled, ‘and take it like a man.’ The frightened cabin boy did as he was told and Captain Jack thrust into his waiting hole balls deep with a triumphant shout.” “Hmm,” said Freddie, “somebody must have been spying on you two on the cruise.” Kane closed the book and rolled his eyes at Josh. Josh said nothing. He’d flicked through that book himself and almost ended up jerking off over some of the less silly scenes. Kane leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you for my masturbation material, Josh.” Josh laughed and hit him on the shoulder. Freddie and Erik were meanwhile opening their present from Josh, VIP tickets to some local fashion show that he had been highly assured was a big deal in Iowa. Freddie, fashion designer extraordinaire, shrieked with excitement and almost strangled Josh with a bear hug. “Oh my God baby, this is the show of the century. I can hobnob with all the names and pimp my work like a shameless slut! Oh God Erik!” He threw himself on his partner. Kane glanced at Josh and poured them all some more champagne. “Okay, last couple of presents here, then we’ll get to breakfast,” said Erik, disentangling himself from Freddie. He and Freddie opened a present from Kane, a gay Kama Sutra. Josh peeked when Freddie flicked through it, seeing highly explicit photographs. “I’m sure you’ve already got it—” Kane started to say. “Not as filthy as this one,” Freddie said in awe. “My God, they’re actually doing it! Look at that rimming, Erik!” Kane put an arm around Josh, looking satisfied while Erik handed Kane another present with a tag from Josh. “You didn’t have to get me anything else,” he said. “I’m happy with my one-handed read.” Josh shoved him. “Shut up and open.” He waited with baited breath while Kane opened the extremely expensive watch he had bought him. While not a Rolex, it was still extravagant and Josh hoped he liked it. Kane opened the long box and stared inside. “Josh baby, this is far too much.” He lifted it out, handling the watch almost gingerly. “No, it’s not. Your other’s seen better days. I thought you needed another.”

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Kane unclipped the watch from his left wrist and snapped the new one in place. It fitted his wrist perfectly, as Josh hoped it might. He looked at Josh a moment, speechless. Freddie butted into the moment. “Shit, Kane, that’s a lot of blowjobs you’re going to have to give to repay him for that.” Kane wrapped an arm around Josh and nuzzled his neck. “I think that’ll be fine.” “All right, last present.” Erik pushed a long slender package at Josh. He looked at Kane. “Hey, what are you doing? You already spent plenty.” Kane ignored him, gesturing for him to open. Josh ripped the paper away, guessing it was jewellery and highly intrigued. The black box creaked open and he feasted his eyes on the most unusual bracelet he had ever seen. Made of silver, it looked like a knotted rope, except each link was an intertwined heart. The bracelet was both wholly masculine and startlingly beautiful. Josh couldn’t believe his eyes. He pulled it out, staring at the hearts and its delicate craftsmanship. He raised his gaze to Kane. “Where did you find this?” “In some strange, little dark shop downtown. The guy assured me it was Victorian. I guess that means it’s had a few owners. Hope you don’t mind but I thought it was a bit different.” Josh threw his arms around Kane’s neck. “You’re amazing.” Freddie took the opportunity to snatch the bracelet from his hand. “Wow, this is something else.” Josh held Kane tight and tried not to cry. Kane stroked his back, holding him close. “Okay, I’m starting on breakfast.” Erik disappeared. Freddie dropped the bracelet back in Josh’s hand and followed him. Kane fastened the bracelet around Josh’s right wrist. “You shouldn’t have bought me both these. It’s too much.” Kane trailed fingertips down his face. “No, it’s not. I wanted to show my appreciation.” Josh smiled. The dreaded L word hovered again on his lips and he forced it back with an effort. He kissed Kane. “Thank you.” Kane reached behind him for the Kindle. “Let me show you how this works. Just flip the switch here and it comes on. You can keep it on stand by. It doesn’t use a lot of power. Here’s your list of books on the homepage.”

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Josh stared. The top of the page announced he had fifty books in his library. “You bought me fifty books?” Kane shrugged. “Some of the classics were free.” “Oh my God, I’m going to blow you tonight until you forget your own name.” “Can we watch?” Freddie cried from the kitchen. Kane hugged Josh. “I’ll hold you to that.”

**** They ate breakfast informally sitting by the coffee table before Freddie and Erik started to tidy up. Freddie told them, “Okay, you guys, we’re going to start making dinner so if you two want to go back to bed and fuck your brains out without us hearing too much, then go for it.” Josh reddened. Kane stood, yanked Josh up and pulled him out of the room and up the stairs. They just made it to their bedroom with Kane’s hand up Josh’s T-shirt, kissing him insistently as he pushed the door shut. “Fuck, can I have that blowjob early?” Kane asked, grinding his pelvis against Josh’s, kissing his neck. “Yes.” Josh shoved him down on the edge of the bed and fell between his knees, dragging Kane’s pyjama pants to his ankles. Kane was hard as a rock and he thrust into Josh’s mouth groaning as Josh swallowed him. “Oh fuck, oh Josh you’re good.” Josh played with his balls, pressing lightly behind them and was rewarded by a dribble of semen straight down his throat. Kane gave a strangled sound. He held Josh by the hair, pushing his head down lightly. Josh took as much as he could. The hot cock in his mouth made his own throb. His ass ached to be filled as only Kane could do. He reached into his pyjamas and grabbed his cock in his fist, moaning around Kane’s prick. “Josh, don’t stop, fuck…” Kane’s thighs trembled. He gripped Josh’s shoulder with one hand, his head with the other, forcing his cock again and again into his mouth. Josh took it. He let Kane fuck his mouth and the thrill sent him almost over the edge.

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He pushed a finger into his mouth alongside Kane’s cock, not pausing in his rhythm before he sought between Kane’s legs, easing the wet finger inside. Kane erupted with a cry, filling Josh’s mouth. He swallowed, drew back and licked the head of Kane’s cock lazily until Kane was done. “Come here.” Kane pulled Josh to his feet and yanked his pants down. He took his own T-shirt off, wrapped his hand around Josh’s aching shaft and jerked him off in long, slow strokes until Josh spurted, gasping, all over Kane’s chest. “Mmm.” Josh fell laughing into Kane’s arms and they lay motionless on the bed.

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Chapter Seventeen

They slept again, awakened some time in the afternoon by Freddie calling upstairs that they had fifteen minutes to make themselves presentable. Josh yawned and cuddled Kane closer. “Think I have time for a shower?” “Definitely. Especially if I come in with you and soap your back.” Josh groaned. “You shouldn’t.” “Like they’ll care. Freddie probably has hidden cameras all over the house to catch us in the act anyway.” Josh snorted. He got out of bed and pulled on his pyjama bottoms. “Okay, come on.” They washed each other beneath the spray, kissing, touching, managing to keep their caresses chaste and made it downstairs within the designated time, their hair damp. The dining room table looked magnificent, set with red and gold decorations, candles blazing and steaming dishes piled in the middle. Josh’s meal was a nut roast, which Erik lovingly served once they were seated, while Freddie went around with a bottle of wine. When asked, Kane pointed to the nut roast. “I’ll have the same.” Josh looked at him in surprise. “Hey, take your chance to eat meat while you can.” Kane winked at him. “Always do, babe.” And he held his plate out for the nut roast. “This is fine for me. I’m thinking of becoming vegetarian.” Josh’s love blossomed ever brighter. Ridiculous, but he felt proud and honoured. After everyone had been served, Josh discovered that Freddie and Erik’s food was delicious. After dessert they had coffee, cheese, liqueurs and chocolates until nobody could take anymore. They retired to the living room to sprawl on the couches and drink, watching TV. Josh played with his Kindle, checking the titles of the books Kane had downloaded and finding every one of them seemed just right. Kane clearly had studied his reading habits and spent a lot of time researching the gift. Kane leaned against him comfortably and chatted with Erik about his job at the post office and his part-time modelling for Freddie.

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Josh couldn’t remember a better Christmas. Drew had always made it special but this was something else, with his friends and the man he loved around him. Everything was perfect. He looked at the hearts in the bracelet around his wrist and imagined them as Kane and he entwined.

**** Freddie and Erik hugged them both goodnight at ten, Freddie kissing them both full on the mouth, lingering over Kane until Kane shoved him away, laughing. When they got to the bedroom, Josh said, “You know you would make Freddie’s entire year if he got his hands on you just once. Why don’t you let him give you a blowjob or something?” Kane frowned. “Are you pimping me out to your friends?” “Sure, why not? You let Chester blow you.” Kane regarded him a moment. “I can’t work you out.” “What do you mean?” “I mean you’re usually a jealous bastard and now you want Freddie to blow me.” Josh glared. “Don’t call me that.” “Isn’t it true?” “I’m no more jealous than you.” “I’m not jealous.” “Oh right, so you don’t hate Drew’s guts?” Kane threw him a frosty look. They both undressed in silence. “All I want is to repay Freddie for his kindness. They have an open relationship, remember they both fucked that guy Spiros in Crete?” “By pimping me out as your whore?” “Well, I’ve been your whore for long enough.” The look on Kane’s face made Josh tremble with sudden desire. “And you’re going to carry on being my whore.” Kane grabbed Josh and threw him face down the bed, wrestling the underwear off him while Josh squirmed in a laughable attempt at protest, never more excited. Kane slapped him on the ass. “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’re going to beg for mercy and if Freddie

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and Erik tell me they heard any noise from you, I’m going to fuck you even harder tomorrow night. By New Year’s you won’t be able to walk. Got it?” “Yes, oh God yes.” “Good.” Kane went over to his bag. “Spread your legs and let me see.” Josh did as he was told, dipping his head, presenting his ass. Kane came back to the bed naked and holding supplies. “Good. Here. Get yourself wet.” He gave the lube to Josh. Josh obeyed, reaching behind himself, running wet fingers around and over his entrance, teasing himself while he teased Kane. Behind him, Kane swore. He gripped Josh’s wrist and made him push one finger into himself. Josh groaned. Kane forced him to fuck himself with that finger for a few moments before he let go to roll on a condom. Josh was in a fever of anticipation. He took his hand away and slid it up his cock, stroking greedily. Kane slapped it away. “I didn’t say you could touch. This is going to be a hands-free climax.” “Oh don’t, you can’t be serious.” “I’m deeply serious. If you touch, I handcuff you to the bed and you stay like that all night with me fucking you once an hour.” “Fuck, have you brought handcuffs?” “Yes. They’re an extra Christmas present for you.” Josh writhed. “Oh my God.” This was too much. Kane’s mastery just got hotter and hotter. Josh heard a buzzing noise. He craned his head and identified the source, the pink cock ring encircling Kane’s prick. He clenched his teeth in excitement. Kane’s wood pressed between his buttocks and penetrated him. Josh cried out. “What did I say about the noise?” “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Josh put a hand over his mouth, groaning beneath it, trying desperately not to grab himself. Kane gripped his hips. He rode Josh with long, smooth strokes while Josh panted and bucked and gnawed at his hand with need. Each thrust sent a deep vibration through his entire body, making him molten-hot, making him shake uncontrollably. “Let me touch.”

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“No.” “You bastard.” “That’s right.” Kane went right into his prostate and Josh’s cock dribbled onto the sheets. “Oh fuck.” Josh lifted his hips to watch his dick twitch and leak every time Kane pushed into him, setting that cock ring right behind his balls. Kane reached between his legs. He smeared Josh’s pre-cum over his cock and jerked it a couple of times so Josh teetered on the edge of orgasm, gasping. Then he took his hand away. Josh whimpered and clawed at the bed sheets. Kane pushed Josh’s head into the pillow to stifle his noise, then fucked Josh into oblivion. He let the waves wash over him, the jolts of electricity zinging every time Kane hit the spot. Josh grabbed his cock as he came, seeing stars. Kane grunted and used him for another couple of seconds before he was done. He withdrew and climbed off the bed. Josh started to fall asleep, at least until cold steel snapped around his wrists. “What did I tell you?” “Oh don’t, baby, I need to clean up.” “I’ll clean you up.” Kane attached him to the headboard and Josh lay there in submission. Kane cleaned him with baby wipes and rubbed the damp patch beneath him. He used the bathroom before he came back to climb into bed beside Josh. “There. Don’t forget to be ready for me once an hour. I’ll set the alarm on this lovely watch you bought me. Goodnight.” Kane turned out the light. “Kane.” Josh whimpered. “Come on.” Kane turned his back. “Don’t forget the code word, baby. Any time you want.” Josh lay with arms outstretched looking at Kane’s turned back and thought about saying Rainbow because he wasn’t comfortable at all. Then he thought about getting fucked all night once an hour and his cock won, as it usually did.

****

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A shifting of the bed woke him in the dark. Josh was turned over, pulled onto his knees, feet apart. Hands spread his buttocks and a wet tongue circled his entrance. “Oh, God.” “No noise.” “Oh fuck, oh Kane.” Cold liquid touched him, then something cold and hard was pushed inside him. It had to be the infamous glass dildo. Josh jolted with excitement, clenching around it. Kane fucked him with it while his other hand slicked lube over Josh’s cock, jerking him swiftly. Josh hid his face in the pillow to stifle his noises. Kane had put so much lube on the dildo that it dripped out of his ass, which excited Josh still further. Kane pulled the toy free. He ate Josh out again and he writhed under Kane’s touch, begging for more in a hoarse whisper. Saliva and lube ran onto his balls. Josh pushed his ass back against Kane’s tongue, aching to be penetrated. He heard Kane rubbering up. A moment later Josh was full with cock. He yelled into the pillow, bucking back against Kane, taking every inch, feeling Kane’s balls slap against him with every thrust. Kane gripped his hips hard. “You’re a dirty little slut who needs even more than I can give him this evening. Say the word if you need to, baby, otherwise I’m going to keep on going.” He came to a halt and fumbled with something behind Josh. Josh, panting and desperate, wondered what he meant until he felt cold, wet hardness pushing into his ass alongside Kane. “Oh my God.” Josh stayed completely still in shock, so full he was not sure he liked it. Kane held the dildo steady and started to ride Josh again, slow and shallow this time. The twin penetrations opened him up and he wailed in sudden, total ecstasy, shaking the headboard with cuffed hands. Kane slapped him on the ass. “That’s right, you slut. Come for me.” Josh cried his name. Kane’s hand gripped his cock in a vice and Josh shook violently as he erupted. Kane was right with him, tugging out the dildo to pound his way to his own climax.

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Josh slid down onto his face as Kane pulled free. He trembled all over, his limbs numb and to his consternation he realised there were tears on his cheeks. “T-thank you Kane, thank you…” Kane leaned over him and kissed him on the head. He cleaned Josh up once again and Josh was already asleep before he turned the light out.

**** Josh was awakened by being pulled onto his knees once again, wetness between his legs and a cock inside him before he was even fully awake. He didn’t move, just let Kane have him while his cock grew steadily into full erection and the soreness of his ass turned him on further. Clearly he was a masochist and he wondered if he had the stamina to keep going for the rest of the night. Kane might fuck him to death which would probably be okay. A wet hand jerked him off. The headboard hit the wall with every one of Kane’s thrusts. Josh whimpered and whined as Kane easily brought him again to climax. Kane cleaned him up and turned out the light. “Ready to quit yet?” he asked Josh. Josh mumbled something which was supposed to be a no and let sleep claim him.

**** The next time Kane woke him, he got Josh onto his knees and this time slid beneath his body, a hot mouth closing around Josh’s stiffening cock. “Oh God, I can’t, I can’t.” Mouth full, Kane merely nodded his head, gripped Josh’s buttocks and encouraged him by rocking him forward. Josh didn’t have the strength to hold himself up. For the most part, he sat on Kane’s shoulders, head hanging down, letting Kane pleasure him. He held the headboard weakly, slipping in and out of sleep. His orgasm took him by surprise. He slumped forward, grunting. Kane slid from beneath Josh, who collapsed. Kane’s mouth against his ear roused him. “Not much there that last time, Josh. I think I’ve emptied your balls.”

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“Please,” Josh said. “Rainbow.” A moment later, the cuffs came off his wrists and Kane’s gentle hands turned Josh over onto his side, pulling the covers up around his neck. Josh curled into a foetal position and Kane held him close, warm skin pressed against his back.

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Chapter Eighteen

“Come on, sleeping beauty, I’m making breakfast.” Josh slit open one eye, looking at Freddie standing above him wearing a pink robe with a fur-lined collar and matching mules. He groaned, trying to bury himself deeper into the bed. “Christ, what were you guys doing last night? How many times did he fuck you?” “Shush.” Josh glanced over his shoulder and saw the bed was empty behind him. “Relax, he’s in the shower.” Josh sighed. “Three plus a blowjob.” “Jesus, he has some stamina. I was hard all night fucking listening.” “I’m sorry, we tried to keep it down.” “When your sex is that hot, I don’t want you to keep it down.” Josh’s face burned. He stretched, every limb aching. Freddie’s gaze strayed behind him and turned to a stare. Josh followed his line of vision and saw the handcuffs still dangling from the headboard. Shit. “Oh, you dirty boys. You bring handcuffs to my house and play bondage games in my spare bed. I fucking love it!” Josh tried to sink into the bed, cheeks flaming. Kane appeared in the doorway, greeting Freddie, wearing nothing but a towel. Freddie gave him the once-over with hungry eyes. “Morning, stud. I’m not sure Josh here’s able to get out of bed.” Kane glanced at him. He looked regretful. “Let him sleep for a while longer, Freddie, he’s tired. I’ll be right down.” “It’s okay…” Josh tried to say but Freddie was already backing out of the door, winking at him. Josh snuggled back into the covers. Kane threw his towel away and walked out of view. A moment later he slid in behind Josh, an arm around him, mouth pressing to his shoulder. “I hope I wasn’t too hard on you last night.” Kane sniggered. “I can handle it.”

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“You proved that. But still…” Kane hesitated. “I never thought anything I’d do would actually make you say the code word. I went too far. I’m sorry.” Josh closed his fingers around Kane’s hand. “You don’t have to be. I had a good time.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.” Kane was clearly unconvinced. He lay with his face pressed against Josh’s neck in silence before he spoke again. “Get some sleep, I’ll be downstairs.” He slid away. Josh heard him dressing. He was asleep before Kane left the room.

**** Freddie and Erik both grinned at him as Kane entered the kitchen. “Sit yourself down, Casanova.” Kane took a seat at the table. Erik went back to making pancakes while Freddie put a cup before Kane. “Coffee?” “Please.” Freddie poured from a glass jug. “All damages to the bed need to be paid for.” “Look, I’m sorry—” “Come on, I’m kidding,” Freddie talked over him. “Lighten up.” Kane lowered his gaze, cheeks burning. He didn’t remember being in a situation like this before, where he had fucked a lover so noisily the rest of the house could hear. Perhaps as he got older, he just had no shame left. Or perhaps he wanted Josh so desperately he would take him anywhere, any time and damn the consequences. He sipped his coffee and thought again about Josh cuffed to the headboard awaiting his pleasure. Even now the idea stirred him. He was beginning to think his desire for Josh was out of all control. “The cock ring was good?” Kane burned his tongue and drew back. “Yes, thanks.” “We like them, don’t we, Erik?” “Sure do,” said Erik, dishing up pancakes. Freddie brought the plate to the table and gestured to Kane to help himself, placing maple syrup before him.

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Kane took one and added a little maple syrup. He searched for a way to turn the conversation away from last night’s fuckfest. “So, how long have you guys been together?” He had spent time with Josh’s friends while on the cruise but Josh had never told him anything about them. He felt awkward being alone with them without Josh. “Five years.” Freddie sat down and took a pancake, leaving Erik standing at the stove. “That’s great. I guess wedding bells might be in the cards?” Silence fell. Kane could have cut the tension with a dull knife. He cursed himself. Erik glanced over his shoulder at Freddie. Freddie glared back. “Marriage is for straight people,” he said in a snarky tone. “We don’t need that shit to prove our commitment to each other.” Kane interpreted this as Freddie wanted it but Erik didn’t. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…” “Not every fag wants to conform to some bullshit straight stereotype.” Freddie threw Erik another frosty glance but Erik kept his back resolutely turned. “I know.” “I mean, you wouldn’t get married, would you?” “No.” “There you go. You know what’s good for you.” Kane finished his pancake. “Listen, if it’s all right with you, I’m going to go back for another hour. I’m kind of tired.” Freddie snorted. “You just want to wake Josh up with nine inches of Captain Fantastic.” Kane got up. Eight, actually. Where had Freddie got that estimate from? Josh? Freddie poured two glasses of orange juice. “Here, take Josh a drink.” “Thanks.” Kane glanced at Erik’s stiff back again as he left the kitchen and Freddie shook his head silently, rolling his eyes.

**** Josh still lay buried beneath the covers. Kane stripped to his boxers, climbed into bed and sat, using his cell to check his e-mails. His employers usually kept in touch by e-mail and although he didn’t expect anything from them so early in the year, they had been known to spring early returns to work on him.

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He had a couple of messages from friends in Miami, some junk offering him Viagra and a penis extension and the newest, an e-mail from his employers. He scanned it and his heart sank as he read. They wanted him to come back to work early and captain a cruise around Australia and New Zealand with training taking place the week before. If he took the offer, not only was the fee considerable, but he would finish for the year in September instead of November. The idea was very appealing. But they wanted him in Auckland on the eighth of January. Kane leant back, closing his eyes. The choice was to stay in Anchorage with Josh until March, growing so attached that two hearts would break…or take the money and the early start. It wasn’t much of a choice at all, but the opportunity he needed to extricate himself from Josh before anymore damage was done. He replied to the e-mail, accepting the offer. Then he placed the cell on the bedside table and lay down, sliding across to Josh. He barely stirred when Kane embraced him, breathing the scent of Josh’s skin and hair, packing away the memory for the day when he was alone on his ship, looking around at other men for the guy who would replace Josh.

**** Josh awoke with skin pressed against his. He squinted at the clock on the bedside table. One p.m. Shit, it was kind of disrespectful to stay at someone’s house and spend all day sleeping. Still, if Kane hadn’t kept him up fucking all night… A glass of orange juice stood by the clock and Josh reached for it, drinking thirstily. Behind him, Kane stirred, reaching to rub Josh’s belly in lazy circles. Lips pressed between his shoulder blades. “You should have woke me.” “You needed your rest.” Kane pressed closer, hard cock against Josh’s back. His hand slid down, teasing fingertips stroking Josh’s stiffening shaft. “Don’t.” Josh squirmed. He was sure he couldn’t perform again for the foreseeable future. “Why not?” “Because I’m still recovering.”

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“This tells me you’re recovered just fine.” Kane encircled his cock, sliding it though his palm. Josh groaned. “We should get up.” “We are up.” Kane rested his cock between Josh’s cheeks, rocking lightly. “You know what I mean. We can’t stay in bed all day.” “Who said anything about all day? Just long enough for me to get you off.” Josh’s breathing became laboured. He pushed into Kane’s hand. “I swear you’re going to kill me.” “Maybe, but what a way to go.” Kane planted a row of kisses on Josh’s neck. His hand moved faster, jerking Josh swiftly. “Oh God.” Kane pushed his cock harder against Josh’s ass. Again, Josh ached to be filled. Kane gripped him suddenly under one knee. He lifted it, spreading Josh open, pushing him nearly onto his face so his cock was right against his entrance, rubbing deliciously. Josh mumbled and moaned into the pillow. Kane spat on his hand. He smeared it over the head of his cock and when Josh felt it wet and slick against his ass, he bucked against it uncontrollably. Kane’s hot breath ghosted over his ear. “I’d love to take you like this now. I’ve remembered your ultimate fantasy. For me to do you bareback.” Kane’s hand enclosed his cock like steel. Josh writhed, panting. “Stop teasing.” He pushed back regardless, trying to impale himself, felt the pain as he was stretched. “Who said I was teasing?” “Oh Jesus, oh fuck.” Josh trembled, senses scattered, a slave to Kane as always. Kane pushed harder. The head of his cock breached Josh’s ass and Josh cried out, breath caught in his throat. “I should combine it with your other fantasy. Accost you in the dark, tie you up, force myself on you, leave your ass dripping with my cum.” Josh grabbed Kane’s hand hard, forcing it to move faster, the orgasm almost painful in its intensity as it spilled over him.

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Kane drew back. He pulled Josh flat onto his back and straddled his hips. Then, as Josh watched, Kane jerked himself off. Josh closed his hand over Kane’s so the two of them wanked him off, eyes locked together. “I want you to do it,” Josh said. “I want you to take me bareback.” Kane shook his head, teeth gritted, a faint flush on his cheeks. “Yes. There hasn’t been anyone else. No one since you.” Kane looked down at him, his grey eyes unreadable. In the next moment, he came, semen spurting in long white ribbons, scorching Josh’s needy flesh. He lay down by Josh’s side. “What about before me?” Josh glanced at him. “There was Drew. For five years. I wasn’t unfaithful to him.” “But he was unfaithful to you.” Josh bit his lip, saying nothing. “Did you use condoms?” “No.” “So how do you know he didn’t give you something?” The elation of the orgasm was gone, the taboo excitement of the forbidden fantasy stowed away once more, cold reality left in its wake. Josh didn’t reply because truth was, he didn’t know. How could he think of putting Kane at such risk? Kane didn’t say anything more. He slid from the bed, dressed and left the room. Josh heard the bathroom door close and he cursed himself.

**** They made it downstairs finally. Lunch was ready but Erik and Freddie were clearly in the middle of a fight. Freddie ushered them to their seats and Josh tried to catch his eye, but Freddie was steadfastly intent on serving the food even though he looked as though he were about to cry. Erik opened some wine and poured them all a glass. “So you made it out of bed?” “I’m really sorry, Erik.”

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“What are you sorry for? You guys are on vacation. I know you work hard, Josh, you deserve your rest when you can get it. Sleep as long as you want, or whatever else you two do up there.” He smiled. Kane helped himself to roasted vegetables from a large glass dish. Freddie sat down and sipped at his wine, mouth pinched. The atmosphere went on for several silent minutes as they all started to eat. Then Freddie put down his cutlery and walked out of the room. Josh looked at Erik. “What’s wrong?” Kane answered before Erik could. “He’s still upset about what I asked this morning, isn’t he?” Erik nodded. “It’s a sore subject. He’s been asking me for two years to marry him. I don’t want to. I think we’re fine as we are.” Kane sighed. “I’m sorry.” Josh stood and followed Freddie, glancing into the living room before he ascended the stairs. He knocked on the closed door at the top. When he received no answer, he entered and found Freddie weeping melodramatically on the bed. “Hey.” Josh put a hand on his shoulder. Freddie sat up, sniffing. “I’m sorry if Kane put his foot in it. He’s insensitive.” Freddie shook his head. “He only asked if he were getting married. I overreacted. I can’t help it though. I just want Erik’s ring on my finger.” He gave Josh a weak grin. “And not like that.” “Freddie, Erik’s been with you five years. You don’t need a ring or a certificate to prove his commitment to you.” “I know.” Freddie sighed. “I guess I just wanted the big day, the dress, the flowers, everyone thinking how beautiful I was.” “The dress?” Freddie smirked. “Sure. Champagne pink with ruby slippers.” Josh shook his head. He squeezed Freddie. “What am I going to do with you?” “You could cheer me up by telling me every detail of how Kane fucked you last night.” “It’s kind of private. How about you use your imagination?”

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Freddie pulled his face. “My imagination is probably ten times hotter than you guys could ever conjure up.” “I don’t doubt it. Are you okay now?” “Yeah.” “Are you going to make up with Erik?” “I guess.” “Good boy.” They went back downstairs. Freddie bent over Erik and kissed him atop his head. Glancing at Kane, Josh retook his seat, put a hand on his lover’s knee and was rewarded with Kane squeezing it in turn.

**** Later that night, as they sat watching a DVD, Kane’s arm around him, Josh whispered, “I’m sorry, about earlier. For asking you to do it when I’m not safe.” Kane took a moment to reply. “If we both get tested when we get back, then I’ll do it.” Josh stared. “Do you mean it?” “Yes.” “But what about the men you had after me? If you have a test now, you’ll still need to get tested again in a couple of months.” Kane shook his head. He looked away. “What?” Josh watched him, trying to work out what was coming. “If I get tested now and I’m negative for everything then I don’t need to do it again.” Kane turned his gaze to Josh. “There wasn’t anyone after you. I made them up. You’re the only guy I’ve had since last summer.” Josh’s jaw dropped open. “B-but why? Didn’t you have the opportunity?” “Sure I did.” “Then…” Josh’s heart beat hard. He felt weak with elation. Kane sighed. He avoided Josh’s gaze again. “They didn’t really do it for me. They didn’t come close.” Josh leaned against his shoulder with what he knew was a silly smile on his face.

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Chapter Nineteen

The rest of the week disappeared into a haze of sightseeing, overeating, over-drinking and all around overindulging. Josh noticed Kane’s behaviour change. He was silent, withdrawn, a man who looked like something weighed on his mind. His insatiable sexual appetite calmed down. When he made love to Josh, he did so with tenderness, with soft kisses. When Josh asked him what was wrong, Kane said everything was fine. But by New Year’s Eve, things were strained. They were in their bedroom, getting ready to go out to a club with Freddie and Erik. Josh sat on the bed, already dressed, reading his Kindle while casting glances at Kane as he buttoned a black shirt which clung suggestively to every ripple of his impressive torso. “Is it me?” Kane’s glance moved to his. “What?” “Is it me, have I done something wrong? Are you bored with me, or with Iowa? We can go home if you want to.” Kane shook his head. “I’m not bored with either.” “Then what’s wrong? Please tell me.” Kane came over to the bed. He cupped Josh’s cheek, looking down into his eyes. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m looking forward to spending New Year with you. Now stop asking.” Josh gripped Kane’s wrist. “You’re lying.” Kane pulled free. “Put your shoes on. I’m ready.”

**** Josh had never seen a greater concentration of queers gathered under one roof in his life. The place was a wall-to-wall meat market, flashing lights illuminating a heaving dance floor, platforms featuring muscular gyrating men in little shorts, the bass banging hard in his chest as he and his three companions fought their way to the bar. It brought back memories of that night. First the public blowjob at the club, then the equally public fucking in the back room at Inferno. Josh quivered, glancing at Kane and knew his lover thought the same. He wondered if the memories would arouse Kane into a

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frenzy, so he would want to move away, for just one night, from the tender lovemaking to the rough love. Their eyes held. Kane’s possessive hand passed over Josh’s backside. He smiled. They got drinks and stood by the dance floor. Josh watched an endless procession of men approach Kane to hit on him. All were dismissed but some tried harder than others. Some touched and fondled Kane, glaring at Josh while whispering in Kane’s ear. Some tried to pull him onto the dance floor but Kane stubbornly remained in place like a mule. Freddie and Erik watched in fascination. Josh stared straight ahead, pretending he couldn’t see. A blond man loomed in front of him, at least six feet two and built like a brick shithouse. He wore a tight little white vest which strained across his broad chest and faded jeans which looked like he’d stuffed a bratwurst down them. “Hi, gorgeous.” The man completely ignored Kane by Josh’s side. Josh glanced at Kane but he was fighting off yet another man. “Er…hi.” “What say you and I have a little dance?” “Um, no, I can’t, thanks anyway.” “Why not?” The man moved closer, almost pinning Josh to the table behind him. “I…I’m with my…” Josh nearly squealed as the man thrust a hand roughly in his groin, groping. “Your?” The man’s blue eyes glinted in amusement. He stroked Josh’s cock. “You might want to take that hand away before you lose it.” Josh’s admirer’s gaze swung to Kane. “Run along, big boy, I saw him first.” In one smooth move, Kane gripped the man by the wrist, bent his arm behind his back and slammed him down over the table, knocking glasses over. “He’s mine.” His voice was a growl. “You get your own, got it?” The man’s reply was lost in the music. He struggled to his feet, glowered at Kane and lurched away into the crowd. Josh stood staring at Kane. “Not interested,” Kane snarled at a man approaching from his left before the guy could even speak. Freddie and Erik were grinning. “That was fucking hot,” Freddie said in Josh’s ear. Josh didn’t say anything and neither did Kane, who kept his eyes fixed on the bodies on the dance floor, a muscle twitching in his jaw.

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**** An hour later, Josh was suitably loosened up. He and Kane sat on a couch on the balcony while Freddie and Erik danced. “Are you okay?” “Sure.” Kane slung an arm around Josh’s shoulders. Brooding, he slouched in his seat, drinking his beer. “You know, that was kind of hot earlier.” Kane’s gaze slid sideways. “I’d love to see you on one of the platforms in those little black shorts you wore on the cruise. You’d earn a fortune.” Kane’s tense expression relaxed into a grin. He squeezed Josh’s knee then slid his hand up his inner thigh. “Think they have a back room here?” “I know they do. Freddie told me.” “Then what are we waiting for?” Kane pulled Josh up off the couch and Josh followed, thinking Christmas had come again.

**** The back room was dark and sweaty. Discreet lights set at intervals in the walls showed various couples or groups engaged in different sex acts. Kane led Josh past the patrons by his hand to the farthest, darkest corner. “I thought it could be just me and you this time, no audience,” he murmured as one hand slid up the back of Josh’s shirt. “That’s fine by me.” Josh turned his face up for a kiss. Kane’s mouth was hot and demanding. He manoeuvred Josh against the wall, one thigh thrust between his. When his lips slid down Josh’s throat and his hands fumbled at the buttons on his shirt, Josh glanced over his shoulder. Not far away Erik was doing Freddie from behind up against the wall. Kane pulled open his shirt and fell to his knees, kissing his way down Josh’s torso.

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As Kane unfastened him and freed his cock, sucking it down, Josh watched Freddie and Erik. It was both wrong and hot to spy on his two friends. Freddie’s arms were spread and Erik rocked into him slowly, rhythmically, jerking him off as he did so. Arching his back, Josh clutched at Kane’s hair as his wicked tongue played down the length of Josh’s shaft. He thrust forward lightly and Kane grasped his buttocks, pulling him forward, sucking him so deep that Josh gasped. Freddie looked over. He smiled, said something and Erik looked over too. Christ, public exhibitionism once more. Josh slumped back against the wall, moaning helplessly, on the brink of climax. Kane stood, released his own cock and kissed Josh hungrily while he wrapped his hand around both their cocks, jerking them together. Josh bucked against him and when Kane let him up for air, he glanced at Freddie and Erik again. He was shocked to find them on their way over, pants pulled up but still unfastened. As they reached him and Josh, Kane turned, evidently startled. Freddie didn’t say anything. He just fell to his knees and started sucking Kane’s cock. And Kane didn’t say anything, just looked at both Erik and Josh guiltily, then watched Freddie sucking him off. Erik advanced on Josh, who shrank back against the wall, unsure what to do and what the boundaries were. Grabbing Josh’s pants and boxers, Erik yanked them down. Josh gasped. He looked at Kane, but he was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed and didn’t seem all that interested. Erik’s hand closed around Josh’s cock. His other hand clasped Josh’s ass. “You have a fine, fine ass, Josh,” he said. “Freddie and I fantasised about eating it out all the way through that cruise.” Josh gulped. Erik grabbed his arm and tossed him on the nearby couch. He grabbed Josh’s knees and lifted them over his head, spreading him open. Erik buried his tongue between Josh’s ass cheeks, eliciting a cry. Freddie and Kane looked over. Freddie stood, came over to the couch, dropped to his knees and went down on Josh. Josh, pinned in place by Erik, panted and gasped in double delight. He twisted his head back to look as Kane stood at the head of the couch fondling his own cock. Oh God, this was too much. And yet…Josh wanted more. Shamelessly, he opened his mouth wide and Kane thrust his cock inside.

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A perfect little foursome. Erik and Freddie pleasured Josh simultaneously while Kane fucked his mouth. Josh was about ready to explode. Erik had wet Josh’s ass and was working it open slowly while Freddie was sucking his cock so hard that Josh was sure his brains were going to come out through it. Seeing as he kept his brains in his dick anyway, that wouldn’t be too difficult. Erik thrust a finger into Josh’s ass. He clenched around it, moaning around Kane’s cock, looking up at his lover with head tilted back. Freddie sucked harder while Erik located his prostate and stroked it. Josh started to buck and writhe, gasping as his orgasm pounded him, turned him inside out. At the same moment, Kane filled Josh’s mouth and jism spilled out the sides. Freddie released his cock, wiping a hand over the back of his mouth and grinning. Erik gave Josh another darting lick before he did the same. Josh lay exhausted on the couch, eyes closed. He couldn’t believe what had happened. When he opened them, Freddie and Erik had gone. Kane sat beside him fully dressed. Josh sat up, tucking himself away, fastening his shirt. Kane put an arm around him. “Your friends are most accommodating.” “Yes, they are.” “We might have to lock the bedroom door from now on.” Josh grinned. Suddenly a roar went up throughout the room and the muffled music in the next room grew louder. Auld Lang Syne. Josh glanced at his watch. “Happy New Year, Kane.” Kane pulled him close, stroking his hair. “Happy New Year, baby.” Josh rested in his arms, trying not to think about Kane leaving him in two months. His cell vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it free, expecting New Year wishes off his mother. But no. It was Drew. Josh cut the connection. He thrust the phone back in his pocket and chanced a glance at Kane, who scowled. Josh rested his head against Kane’s chest and closed his eyes. He made two New Year’s resolutions: not to be broken-hearted for the rest of his days when Kane left and not to go back to Drew. He doubted he would keep either.

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Chapter Twenty

Erik and Freddie seemed way too casual next morning for two guys who had sucked and licked their friends the previous night. They acted like nothing had happened, apart from a lot of smirking from Freddie and winking at Kane. Hung over, Josh did nothing but sit on the couch reading, while beside him, Kane surfed the internet on his cell. He confirmed the time of their flight home on Monday morning and Erik offered to drive them to the airport. Josh wondered how long the increasingly silent and distant Kane would stay in Anchorage before he made his excuses to go back to Miami. Josh figured it wouldn’t be long. That night, Kane held him close as they slept. The next day they packed their bags. Erik and Freddie took them out into the city for one last round of sightseeing followed by a meal at an expensive Italian restaurant. Drunk when they got home, Kane pushed Josh face down on the bed and took him there roughly until Josh cried out in ecstasy.

**** The plane rumbled rhythmically beneath them. Josh and Kane sat on the back row, the seats across the aisle from them empty. Kane was silent, looking out of the window into nothing but clouds, while Josh tried to concentrate on a book and failed. Josh saw Kane’s silence as one sign and one sign only. He was gearing up to go to Miami and would soon break the news to Josh. He decided he had to be strong…somehow. He didn’t want Kane to know how big a chunk of his heart he would be taking with him. He leaned against Kane’s shoulder with a sigh. Kane glanced at him. He stroked Josh’s cheek a moment before resting his hand on Josh’s knee. “Are you okay?” “Sure,” Josh replied. “Are you?” “I’m good.” “Not wishing you were home yet?”

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Kane looked taken aback for the briefest second. Then he shook his head and his hand enclosed Josh’s. “No.” He leaned close, brushing his lips across Josh’s. For a moment their gaze caught and held, Kane’s grey eyes intent and serious. Then he reached under his seat and drew out his jacket, spreading it out over both their laps. Looking around, he slid his hand beneath it, stroking Josh’s thigh. “Ever joined the mile high club?” His breath was a hot whisper that sent an instant rush of blood to Josh’s groin. He gulped, shaking his head. Kane’s hand tightened, massaging, moving higher so his fingers grazed Josh’s balls through his jeans. “Want to?” Christ, what was with Kane and his love of kinky public sex? Josh’s skin prickled all over and his jeans became unbearably tight. “What if—” “Worry about getting caught when we get caught. I need to be inside your tight ass.” Josh caught his breath. Head back and eyes closed, he whimpered a little, trying to remain in control. He looked around for flight attendants and passengers, then checked to see if the bathroom was vacant, which it was. He pulled the jacket off his lap and slipped out of his seat, sliding into the bathroom but leaving the door ajar. He waited for only a moment before Kane appeared at the door, squeezing his muscular frame inside so Josh was jammed back against the toilet. Kane managed to turn to bolt the door, then put condom and lube on the counter by the sink. He grinned at Josh and started to unfasten his jeans. Josh groaned as Kane pulled his cock free. Josh sank to his knees, holding Kane’s hips as the plane rocked with slight turbulence. Kane guided his cock into Josh’s mouth and Josh sucked eagerly, putting one hand down to unfasten his pants. Josh was nearly folded up on himself; cramped, he couldn’t stay down there too long. Kane pulled him to his feet and turned him around, forcing him against the sink, yanking down his boxers and pants. While Kane rolled on a condom, Josh squeezed some lube onto his fingers and rubbed it over himself. He leant forward, his hands on either side of the sink, head against the mirror, ass presented, legs spread wide. Panting from excitement, Kane was jammed so tight against Josh that it was hard to get into position. Hard flesh jabbed between Josh’s buttocks, rubbing against him a moment before Kane guided himself to the right place, pushing slowly inside.

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Josh gasped, his breath fogging the mirror, his hands scrabbling as Kane filled him, then started to rock into him as best he could with the limited space. “Oh fuck, fuck…” Josh abandoned himself, Kane’s hand around his balls, squeezing lightly. If this wasn’t the most exciting thing to ever happen to him, then he didn’t know what was. But then every time with Kane was exciting, no matter when or where. Kane leaned over Josh, thrusting deeply. One hand slid up his shirt, cupping his pectoral, rubbing his nipple into erection. He squirmed and Kane bit him on the neck. His movements grew hard and fast. Thoroughly aroused, Josh smothered his cries with his hand. He grabbed his swollen cock, wanking off furiously. “More, Kane, more. Don’t ever stop, please…” Kane nailed him faster. His balls slapped against Josh’s ass. His fingers pinched Josh’s nipple painfully. Josh arched in shock, but Kane took it one step further. He delivered a hard spank to Josh’s ass with his open palm and Josh flinched, cried out. Something about the sting and burn of his cheek together with the pain-pleasure of Kane riding him so hard, turned him on even more. He gasped and squirmed and Kane smacked him again. “Come on, you little slut.” “Harder, harder.” Tears tracked down Josh’s cheeks. Saliva dripped down the mirror. He bucked and writhed with each slap to his stinging ass. His body had become a vessel for Kane’s pleasure. It was too much, all too much. Josh came violently, shaking so hard that only Kane’s hands held him up. His lover hissed. His thrusts slowed and he eventually stopped, holding Josh fiercely around the torso. “Are you okay?” Josh nodded, breathless. Kane withdrew. He tenderly cleaned Josh with tissue, then pulled up his pants and boxers, fastening the trousers. One hand stroked his ass gently. “Too much?” “Never too much.” Their gazes met in the mirror. Kane smiled. “Go out first.” He stepped back as far as he could to allow Josh to squeeze past to the door. Josh waited until Kane had discarded his condom and zipped up his pants. Then he exited the bathroom, flushed and grinning.

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**** Kane locked the door behind him. He wiped the wetness off the mirror and looked at his reflection. He couldn’t help that his need for Josh swung between roughness and tenderness. Every time he wanted Josh in a different way…now, with only three days left, his desire was out of control. No matter how many times he had Josh between now and then, it would never be enough. He washed his hands and studied his grey eyes in the mirror. Just when was he going to tell Josh he was leaving? He left the bathroom, nodding to a lady who waited outside, suspicion written all over her face. Josh stood for Kane to squeeze into the window seat, then settled beside him again, head on Kane’s shoulder, hand on his. Another woman came up to wait by their seats for the toilet, but Kane didn’t remove his hand from Josh’s although the woman was looking. He didn’t care who knew that he was almost all the way in love with Josh. Apart from Josh himself. Kane had no intention of telling him.

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Chapter Twenty-One

With the time difference, Josh was still early enough to call the clinic in town when they got back to Anchorage to set up appointments for both him and Kane the following day during his lunch hour. While waiting for Kane to get out of the shower, Josh unpacked his bag, tossing dirty clothes into the laundry. Kane was in there an inordinate amount of time and Josh thought briefly of how much cheaper his bills would be once he had gone, although he had no doubt Kane would give him another wad of cash for this month. He went downstairs and made some tea, then he sat at the table looking at the snow falling over the covered yard. Something was coming, he knew that. Kane was another ten minutes before he appeared in his new robe with wet hair. Josh’s stomach clenched with helpless desire. Kane sat opposite him and poured himself a mug of tea from the pot. Josh waited for Kane to wrench his world apart. Kane drank his tea and said nothing, but his inner turmoil was evident on his face. Finally, he lifted his gaze to Josh’s. “You’re going, aren’t you?” Kane sighed. He nodded. “They asked me to go back to work early. It’s good money. I said yes.” “When are you going?” “Thursday morning. I need to be in Auckland on Saturday.” Josh dropped his head. “How long have you known?” “Since the day after Christmas.” “You bastard.” Kane sat back and folded his arms. “Come on.” “No, you come on. Is money the be-all and end-all for you?” “It’s pretty important. I want to retire when I’m fifty. I want to be comfortable for the rest of my life in the Caribbean with a nice little house-boy running around in tiny shorts fetching me drinks while I perv over him.”

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“I’m glad you think this is funny.” Josh stood and stalked across to the window. “I don’t think it’s funny. I’m just telling you about the importance of money in the scheme of things.” “More important than me, evidently.” Kane said nothing and Josh’s misery intensified. “I made us appointments at the clinic tomorrow. For STI tests, so we could…” He shook his head, all out of words. Kane hesitated a moment. “We can still go. We might get the results the same day,then we could…before I left, if you still wanted to.” Josh glared at him. “Tell me exactly why I’d want your promiscuous, treacherous seed inside me?” Kane looked like he’d been slapped. Josh walked from the kitchen.

**** That went well. Kane sat with his hands wrapped around his mug, watching snow falling over the dark yard. Of course he’d expected that. The longer he’d avoided telling Josh his plans, the angrier he knew Josh would be. Yet, Kane hadn’t had the heart to tell him while they were still on their vacation. But Josh had known anyway. Kane’s behaviour had given him away with ease. But still, it was better this way. Josh now had less than seventy-two hours to brood over Kane’s going and Kane only had that amount of time to deal with Josh’s rage and misery.

**** They ate a silent dinner before Josh went upstairs to take a bath. Kane stayed downstairs, channel surfing aimlessly. When Josh returned, he carried a quilt and a pillow. He threw them at Kane, whose heart sank. Josh turned and walked back upstairs without another word. Kane lay seething on the couch in the dark, sleep far away. Was he going to let Josh get away with this behaviour when they only had three nights left? When those nights would be the last nights together in their lives?

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No, he wasn’t. He got up and ascended the stairs silently, barefoot. In the pocket of his bag, lying by the entrance to Josh’s bedroom were condoms and lube. Kane drew them out. He tossed his boxers on top of the bag, then he opened the condom and rolled it onto his already hard cock. He slid between the sheets, hands firm on Josh. “Get the hell off me.” Kane ignored him. He thrust him face down, lifted one knee, spread him open. “I said get off!” Josh fought him fiercely. Kane pinned him down. He put a dab of lube between Josh’s legs and pushed his cock between them. “No, no—” “Listen to me, you little brat,” Kane hissed. “This thing isn’t all on your terms, try as you might to make it that way. I’m not being banished from your fucking bed, do you hear me?” “Get your fucking hands off me, I never want you to touch me again!” “Liar. You can’t get enough of me. You need my cock like the air you breathe.” Kane held both wrists down, pressing steadily into Josh’s backside. “No, no, stop.” “You forget that I know all your secret fantasies, Josh. You want this. ‘No’ isn’t going to make me stop. You know the word. You say rainbow and I’ll stop. Any other word, I keep going, got it?” Josh panted beneath him as Kane’s prick speared him. “No, no…” Kane halted a moment, unsure. To have a man under him saying no over and over again to his assault gave him pause for thought. But he had told Josh to say the word. Josh knew to say it and hadn’t. He wanted Kane to continue and he obviously got off on faking reluctance. “Yes, you little slut.” Kane was buried all the way and he felt Josh trembling beneath him, clenching around him. “No, please, Kane…” “Yes. Stop saying fucking no. You know the word, say the fucking word or I fuck your brains out.”

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Josh panted and groaned, moving sinuously underneath Kane, arousing him to fever pitch. “No,” he said again. “Please don’t.” Kane growled. He dragged Josh up onto all fours, then he held onto his shoulder and rode the living daylights out of him. Josh cried out with each thrust. Kane reached for Josh’s cock and found it rock hard and leaking. He jerked it firmly and Josh rocked back against him, taking Kane deeper and deeper, moaning. “Say it,” Kane demanded. “Say you want me.” “No.” “Say it, you fucking whore. Say you’re mine and you can’t get enough of my cock in your ravenous little hole.” “You bastard, I hate you.” “No you don’t, you love me. Now say it.” Josh grunted. He jammed his fingers over Kane’s, forcing him to jerk him off even faster. “I’m yours. Give it to me, you fucking asshole. Fuck me until I can’t remember my own name. I need you.” Kane sat back and pulled Josh onto his lap. He bit his squirming lover on the neck, devouring the bruised skin with kisses as he thrust up into him. Josh ground himself down. He sobbed for breath, begging Kane breathlessly for more until Kane shot his load in violent spurts and Josh followed suit, creaming all over his belly, falling limply back against Kane’s shoulder. Kane held him tight, his chest heaving against Josh’s back. Slowly, he lay down, taking Josh with him, still buried inside him. Josh pulled the covers over them. He turned his head, his sweet lips covering Kane’s. Kane sank deep down into bliss once more. Terrible words hovered suddenly on his lips, so he clamped his jaw shut to stop them spilling out. Oh God, not now, not now he was nearly away from here. Josh didn’t need to know. He didn’t need Kane to say this, then walk away from him forever. Kane wanted Josh to deal with the loss by thinking that Kane regarded him only as a vacation fling, just like onboard the ship. But onboard was where these seeds had been sown. Kane had come here and allowed them to blossom into scarlet blooms of the utmost, heartfelt love.

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He buried his face against Josh’s neck, hanging onto him and praying for the strength to walk away.

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Chapter Twenty-Two

Josh fumbled the alarm silent as music shattered his sleep. He immediately remembered last night and the fact Kane was going home the day after tomorrow. He moved cramped limbs, slid out of the grip of his lover and located his robe in the dark. He showered before making tea, taking two mugs back up the bedroom. He flicked on the bedside lamp and shook Kane’s shoulder lightly. “Tea.” Kane blinked at him. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning while Josh pulled clothes out of the wardrobe. “Are you okay?” Josh glanced at him. “Sure.” “I know I got carried away last night—” “Tell me a time when you haven’t got carried away.” Kane regarded him, clearly trying to work out how pissed off Josh was. But Josh wasn’t. He was only tired and resigned. “I’m sorry.” Josh swallowed. “I’m sorry too.” “Time for a kiss and a cuddle?” Kane asked hopefully with that charming smile that could melt the birds out of the trees. Josh dropped his robe. He slid into bed and into Kane’s arms. Kane stroked his head, kissing his hair. “You worried me a bit last night. You did want that, right?” “Did I say the word?” Josh asked. “No.” “Well then.” “It’s just…you put on such a convincing act.” “My last grand performance before you go home.” Kane lifted his head in both hands, looking into Josh’s eyes. “I’m the most terrible person in the world for springing this upon you, I know that. But please, when I’m gone, forget me. Think of it as some fun you once had with a guy who now means nothing to you. Promise me.” His grey eyes carried sparks of violet.

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Josh remembered the day they had first met, when he had asked Kane why he couldn’t get breakfast so late in the morning and Kane had looked at him with such heat and desire in his eyes that Josh had been afraid. Afraid of falling so deeply into another man so soon after Drew. He had told himself the beautiful captain of the ship would never look at someone as plain and pale as himself. Then Kane had proceeded to show him what lurked beneath his cool, professional exterior. The captain was all molten passion and animal lust. His desire for Josh knew no end and Josh had matched that with his own. Even now, six months later, he couldn’t get enough. He didn’t see how they could ever sustain this. If they stayed together, soon all that need would burn out and they would have nothing left to hold them together. It was for the best that Kane left now. Josh nodded in response to Kane’s request. From Thursday onwards, Kane would cease to mean anything to him.

**** Josh drove to work with his lover and Kane kissed him a sneaky goodbye before he left for the gym. He planned to meet Josh at the clinic at twelve for their appointments. Useless going through the testing now, because Josh guessed they wouldn’t get the results in time to carry out their little bareback ride fantasy. But a seed of doubt about Drew had been sown in Josh’s mind and he knew the appointment was necessary to ease all worry about his own health.

**** Kane was waiting outside the clinic at twelve on the dot when Josh arrived. He opened the door for him and followed him down to the reception where they checked in. They sat in the waiting room side by side while Josh tried not to make eye contact with the other people sitting there. Instead, he found himself reading posters on the wall for syphilis, chlamydia and HIV. Kane kept his gaze firmly fixed on the ground. Was he worried? Had he indulged in risky sex before Josh? He still was surprised that Kane had dabbled with no one else since last summer. A rush of affection made him squeeze his lover’s hand and Kane returned it. “Kane Kessler.”

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Josh looked up at the nurse standing in the doorway and Kane stood, giving Josh a halfhearted smile as he walked down the corridor. Josh waited another five minutes before a different nurse called him. He was taken to a room with a table and chairs, cross-examined on his sexual preferences and practices by a young, female doctor. Josh didn’t tell her he wanted to get checked out so his boyfriend could ride him bareback. He knew that was a major no-no. He told her he and Kane were in an intimate relationship and both wanted to make sure they were clean in case of any accidents with condoms. He doubted she believed him but she ushered him through to another room, asking Josh to undress from the waist down and lie on the bed. Oh God. Josh had expected a blood test and nothing more. He lay staring at the wall with his cheeks flaming, waiting for the doctor to return. “Okay, Mr. Addison.” The doctor strode in followed by a nurse and started to wash her hands. “Nurse Jones is staying as chaperone if that’s okay with you.” “Fine.” The nurse set up some equipment on a metal trolley. The doctor snapped on some gloves. “Okay, first I’ll examine your penis and scrotum and your anus, make sure everything’s normal, then I’ll take some samples.” Samples? Josh about bolted off the table. “Just relax now.” A hand cupped his balls. “I’m feeling for any unusual lumps. Do you self-examine at home?” “Yes.” Josh’s voice was strangled. “That feels fine. Now I’m going to check your penis for any signs of infection or discharge.” Josh’s face burned with humiliation. The doctor spoke to the nurse as she examined him. “Circumcised. Normal urethral position. Nothing abnormal detected.” The doctor let him go. “Okay Mr. Addison, I’m just going to look at your back passage.” Her fingers spread him open lightly, then let go. “Fine. Now here comes the worst bit. You’re just going to feel a little scraping around your urethra.” What? “It’ll feel unpleasant and possibly painful for just a few seconds. Just bear with me, you’re doing really well.”

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Josh clenched his teeth and screwed his eyes shut as something was pushed down his slit. “That’s one. And another.” Holy fuck, why had he ever wanted to do this? “That’s all done. You can get dressed. When you’re ready the nurse will take some blood.” The doctor threw away her gloves, went to the sink and washed her hands. Josh slid off the couch. The nurse pushed the trolley out and pulled the curtain discreetly behind her. He dressed quickly, feeling miserable with humiliation. He sat waiting until the nurse came back. “Are you okay?” He nodded. “You were brave. I know it’s horrible.” Josh smiled gratefully. “Shall we get this blood taken so you can get out of here?” “Yeah.” Josh rolled up his sleeve. The nurse rubbed alcohol gel on her hands and pulled on some gloves before she clipped a tourniquet around Josh’s upper arm. “Just clench and unclench your fist.” Josh did as he was told, watching a couple of veins spring up in the crook of his elbow. The nurse rubbed an alcohol swab over his skin before she busied herself attaching a needle to a bottle. “So tell me, that extraordinarily handsome man I saw you sitting with in the waiting room, was that your partner?” “Yeah.” The nurse sighed. “You lucky, lucky man.” She brought the needle to Josh’s arm. “Sharp scratch.” Josh looked away as the needle penetrated his skin. “I’m not lucky, he’s leaving to go back to work on the other side of the world the day after tomorrow.” “Ah, that’s a shame, honey. Can’t you go with him?” “No, he captains cruise liners.” The nurse withdrew the needle. She pressed a piece of gauze to Josh’s arm. “Hold this on. He must look ultra-hot in his uniform.” She winked at Josh.

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“Oh, he does.” “Can’t he captain ships in Alaska? There’s plenty of cruises around here.” “I never thought to ask him,” Josh said. But why would Kane leave his job in the sun to sail around Alaska, no matter how stunning the state was? “Then why don’t you?” Josh shook his head. “If he wanted to stay, he would. Thanks.” He stood up and pulled his jacket on. The nurse stuck a label on the side of the blood bottle. “You play it safe, honey and remember, if he loves you, he’ll come back.” Josh left the room. Back in Iowa, during some of those tender days after Christmas, he had felt like Kane was almost there, like maybe he had finally fallen for Josh, but no, it had all been a front to avoid telling Josh he was going. He had never loved him, he had only enjoyed Josh for what he was, a tight ass that got him off. If Kane loved Josh, he wouldn’t go, that was simple enough. Kane was loitering at reception. He opened the door and ushered Josh out. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Yeah. You?” “Yeah. Did they stick a thing down your—” “Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun.” Kane grinned. He put an arm around Josh’s shoulders. “It’s over now. They’re going to call with the results tomorrow afternoon.” “Really?” “Yeah.” Josh hadn’t thought to ask about the results. He’d been too consumed with getting out of there. If he got his results tomorrow too, he and Kane could make their fantasy come true on their last evening together. He glanced at Kane and read the same thoughts in his grey eyes. Kane touched his hand with gentle fingers. “Get back to work. I’m going to buy us something nice for dinner. I’ll see you at home.” He said it as though Josh’s home was his home, which it had been for over a month. Would Kane actually be sad to say goodbye or would he leap onto that plane to Miami with relief at having escaped Josh’s needy clutches?

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“See you later.” He left Kane standing at the kerb and crossed the road to his car on the other side. As he drove away, he saw Kane trudging towards the market, his head down. Josh watched him in his rear view mirror. He wished Kane wasn’t such a closed book. He wished he could open up Kane and spread out his feelings for all to see.

**** Kane was slaving away in the kitchen when Josh entered the house. He called to his lover that he was getting changed and went upstairs. The bed was neatly made, Kane’s packed bag standing in the corner. On one pillow was a heart-shaped box of chocolates with a red ribbon. Josh recognised the packaging as the most exclusive chocolate shop in the city. But why buy him presents now? Kane was leaving. Was it just to ease his conscience? He went downstairs wearing sweats. Kane eyed him. “Still feeling delicate in private places, my love?” He put an arm around Josh and kissed him on the head. Josh took some wine out of the fridge. “Yes.” “Me too. Not even in my kinkiest moments have I ever let anyone put…” He paused. “Although one time this guy wanted to—” “Too much information.” Kane grinned. “Sit down, it’s ready.” Josh took the wine to the table and poured it into two waiting glasses. In the centre, a bouquet of red roses stood in his best crystal vase. “These are beautiful, Kane. Thanks for the chocolates too.” “You’re welcome.” Kane came over to the table carrying a steaming glass dish of what looked like a casserole. While he went back for garlic bread, Josh helped himself. Kane sat. “I know what you’re thinking.” “Do you?” “That I should have bought you presents long before now.” “Hey, I don’t think that at all. You bought me my Kindle and a very expensive bracelet, remember?” “Yeah, but still…you think this is a guilt thing. And you’re right. It’s mainly a guilt thing for last night. I was confused as hell by you. I really didn’t know if you actually wanted it or if I was…” He sighed.

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“I wanted it. I thought you knew me by now. When have I ever refused you, no matter what?” Kane stretched across the table and took Josh’s hand. “I’ve had such a good time here baby. I want you to forget me, but I won’t forget you in a hurry.” Josh dipped his head as his eyes brimmed with tears. “You could stay,” he said in a small voice. “I can’t, sweetie.” “You could get a job here. On the cruise liners.” Josh scanned Kane’s eyes hopefully. Kane sighed. “This place isn’t for me, Josh. You know that. You and I, we’re from different worlds.” Josh swallowed some wine to disperse the knot in his throat. Kane stroked his hand. “I’m sorry.” “Yeah.” Josh started on his food. They ate in silence.

**** Kane cuddled him on the couch later, kissing until the heat built and they stripped each other. Kane took Josh on his back, rocking slowly into him, kissing him all the while until Josh clung to him in ecstasy and prayed once again to a god he didn’t believe in for Kane to change his mind. For him never to go. Kane carried him upstairs, drowsy and satiated. He lay Josh down and covered him up. Josh fell instantly asleep.

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Chapter Twenty-Three

Josh awoke on Wednesday, the last full day he would awaken with Kane. His lover lay softly breathing beside him, undisturbed by the alarm clock’s tune. Josh watched him a moment, then kissed Kane on the forehead before he climbed out of bed. Kane awoke, groggy, when Josh brought his tea. “You make the best tea,” he said, noisily slurping. “I didn’t even drink tea until I came here.” Josh smiled. He dropped his robe and stepped into some tight boxers. Kane’s gaze dropped down his body. He put down his cup. “Come here.” “I can’t, I don’t have time.” “You should always make time for a blowjob.” Kane dragged him into bed. He pulled Josh over his face, nuzzling at his groin through the tight underwear. “Fuck…I have to…” “Fuck work. I want you in my mouth.” Kane took out Josh’s cock and sucked him down. Josh groaned, holding onto the headboard, looking at Kane’s wickedly sucking mouth. “Oh God, you’re good.” Kane drew back. “I know I’m good. Why don’t you show me how good by coming down my throat?” He sucked on his fingers before he swallowed Josh’s cock again. Josh’s thighs shook. He widened his legs as Kane probed between them and worked two fingers into his ass. Josh threw his head back and gasped for breath, rocking into Kane’s mouth, then back onto his deliciously spearing fingers. He cursed and moaned his way to orgasm, gripping Kane’s hair as he finished. He fell off Kane into an exhausted heap. Kane rolled on top of him, hard cock against his hip, mouth whispering into his ear. “Tonight, when we get our results and we’re all clear, I’m going to fill your tight ass with so much cum it’ll be running out of you for days.” Josh shuddered and groaned. “You better think about that all day when you’re at your desk.” “Oh God, I will. You’re so bad.”

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“I know.” Kane pushed him gently. “Get ready for work.”

**** Josh could hardly contain himself at work. He tried to bring himself down to earth. It was okay fantasising about Kane doing him bareback but he needed to think about the worst case scenario of the test. That Drew had given him syphilis or HIV after his affair. That Kane had HIV from sleeping his way around the Mediterranean. These were both very real possibilities and Josh needed to think about them and not about getting laid. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but think about Kane nailing him. Of his semen flooding into him, filling him full. Of them being as close as it was possible to get. The clinic called him on his cell after lunch. “Good afternoon, Mr. Addison, I have the results of your tests here.” Josh held his breath. “You’re all clear. No signs of infection, no HIV antibodies detected. If you’ve put yourself at risk, you need to return for another HIV test in three months.” “I understand. Thank you.” “Goodbye.” “Bye.” Josh put down the phone and sighed. He prayed Kane had heard similar good news.

**** He entered the house at six to find Kane on the couch reading. “Hey baby, I got some take-out pizza for dinner. Hope that’s okay.” “That’s fine. How did it go?” Kane sat up. “I’m clear. You?” “Yeah.” A slow grin spread over Kane’s face. “Get upstairs and get yourself into that shower, boy. I want you sparkling clean and ready for me on that bed in ten minutes.” Josh charged upstairs faster than he ever had when Drew had said the same. He soaped himself meticulously in the shower and lathered himself with cocoa butter on his exit.

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Walking naked along the hall, he lit some candles by the side of the bed, took out some lube and waited. He was so excited he wasn’t sure he could contain himself. “Somebody smells good enough to eat.” Kane appeared, already stripping. “That’ll be me.” “Good boy. Are you ready for my naked cock?” “Yes.” Josh gripped the bedclothes as Kane dropped his pants, his tight black boxers bulging mercilessly. He stripped his underwear off and stepped forward with hard cock and balls swaying. “Fuck.” Kane smirked. He climbed onto the bed and sprawled over Josh, dropping a kiss on his mouth. Josh clutched Kane to him, pulled him onto his body, wrapped his limbs around him. Kane breathed into Josh’s mouth before kissing his way down Josh’s torso, leaving burning flesh in his wake. Josh gripped his hair, arching beneath his touch, groaning when Kane reached his inner thighs and started to suck his balls. Kane looked up through thick lashes, his grey eyes sparking violet. He lifted Josh’s balls and pressed his tongue firmly to the skin behind them. “Oh God. Kane, I can’t wait.” “You’ll have to.” Kane licked his way over Josh’s balls and up his shaft to the head. He flicked his tongue over it, delving into the slit. Josh trembled and squirmed. How was it that he was always so desperate for Kane that he couldn’t enjoy simple foreplay? Kane coated his fingers in lube. He pushed Josh’s knees up and apart before sliding his fingers slowly down his ass crack as he sucked him off. Josh lifted his pelvis, greedily seeking. “Fuck me, please.” Kane rubbed his entrance slowly with light fingertips while he continued blowing him. Josh begged breathlessly for more. Kane’s fingers penetrated him and Josh panted with relief but oh God, he needed so much more. Only the relief Kane’s cock could give him. Kane fingered him as he sucked. He gave Josh’s prostate teasing little strokes but drew back when Josh got too close. He stopped blowing Josh’s cock and smirked in amusement when pre-cum dribbled onto his belly. Kane reached into the bedside drawer and drew out the glass dildo. Josh spread his legs shamelessly wide. “Give it to me. Fuck me.”

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Kane leant over him. “I’m going to open you up and get you ready for the main event. When I cream your insides.” He pushed the dildo into Josh, who clenched around it in satisfaction, a hand on his own cock. Kane knelt, thrusting the dildo into Josh’s depths while Josh pleasured himself. Out of control, Josh whimpered with untamed pleasure, bucking at the dildo, fucking it as much as it was fucking him. He saw the grin on Kane’s face. How his partner loved to see him like this, taking his pleasure like a man. Josh was the biggest cock-slut Kane had ever known. That was one thing Kane would remember about Josh for sure. Kane pulled the dildo free and Josh moaned at its loss. Kane lubed his bare cock and Josh stared at the thick, hard flesh with his heart beating fast. This was finally it. Kane’s going-away present. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind. Miserable thoughts had no place in his head when he was getting fucked. He wanted to experience this ultimate ecstasy with Kane and make sure they both remembered it forever. Kane knelt, hand on his slick cock, looking down at Josh. “Are you sure?” “I’m sure.” “I’m probably going to explode as soon as I’m in you, you know that, right?” Josh shrugged. “Me too.” He wasn’t joking. He already danced right on the edge. He gripped Kane’s shoulders as Kane guided his cock between his legs and thrust slickly inside, bareback. Josh lifted his knees, holding Kane hard with his thighs, rocking against him. Kane leaned over him. He crushed Josh’s cock between their bellies as he kissed him. Josh clung to him, shuddering all over. Kane moved swiftly and smoothly, his naked cock plundering him. Josh lay gasping. He felt the climax start in his balls, felt it spread to his ass like liquid fire and consume him whole, taking over his whole body. Kane groaned as Josh’s muscles clenched him. Josh started to spasm, his thighs shaking, his head thrown back. He felt Kane bite his throat. Josh’s semen hit his stomach and a moment later, hot spurts of cum burst inside him, Kane filling him as promised.

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He writhed, still hard, still aroused and still, unbelievably, wanting more. And Kane knew as he always did. He pulled free. He pushed Josh’s knees up and Josh tried to protest at the intimacy but Kane held him firmly. Fluid tracked slowly down Josh’s inner thighs. “My cum’s running out of you, as I said it would.” Josh felt something approaching shame at being spread open and revealed this way, but he was also turned on. The feel of the semen leaking from him aroused him no end. Kane bent his head. He lapped at Josh’s inner thigh. “Don’t.” Josh flinched away. “Why not?” “Because…” Josh didn’t have a reason other than embarrassment and Kane didn’t seem remotely embarrassed, he only seemed interested in using that wicked tongue of his. He licked the crease between Josh’s thigh and ass. “Oh God…Kane…” “Shush and let me do it.” Strong hands spread Josh open. Semen trickled out, which Kane captured in one hot swipe. Josh grabbed his cock and wanked, gasping. Kane’s tongue burrowed into his open hole and the bedcovers grew wet beneath him. “Stop, stop…” He said it for the sake of decency. He had to be some sort of pervert for enjoying it, but he didn’t want Kane to stop. He wanted to be eaten out until Kane’s tongue sent him over the edge once more. He gripped Kane’s hair, jerking off using the fluid still on his cock as lube and lay with knees up and apart, shamelessly spread for his lover’s ardent attention. Kane’s tongue was indefatigable. He groaned as he licked Josh as though he loved it, jacking his own rock-hard cock. Josh looked down at Kane’s hand, at Kane’s swiftly working tongue and the wet noise it made. Saliva and semen slid down his thighs and he was ready to come again. Kane pulled back and thrust his cock back inside as deep as he could go. Josh gasped and he came instantly with Kane right after him, a second load covering his insides.

**** They clung together in the afterglow, laughing softly, Josh turning his face away when Kane tried to kiss him. “Go brush your teeth. Do you like the taste of yourself?”

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“Yes,” Kane said with a grin. His cheeks and neck were spotted with red, his usual post-orgasmic glow. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more perverted, you go and do that to me.” “I didn’t hear the code word.” “Shut up. I must have forgotten it.” “Sure.” Kane drew slowly out of him. “I want to see the cum trickling out of your ass.” “Well, you can’t. This time it’s private.” Josh slid out of bed and pulled on his robe, trying to hold in the fluid waiting to come out. Kane lay back on the bed with a satisfied sigh, stroking his still half-hard cock as Josh went to the bathroom.

**** As clean as he could get, Josh went back to the bedroom and found Kane asleep. He poked him. “Go and wash up. I need to change the sheets.” Kane shuffled naked out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Josh stripped and quickly remade the bed. Then he went downstairs for a drink. The kitchen was dark, moonlight falling over the snowy garden. Josh poured two glasses of mineral water. Then he sat at the table for a few minutes, listening to Kane in the shower above him. They’d done it. Their big goodbye. Their ultimate taboo. It was all over. Tomorrow, Kane’s plane flew at eight, taking him away forever.

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Chapter Twenty-Four

At five o’clock, the alarm startled Josh out of a deep sleep. Kane lay behind him, his arm tightening around him as Josh reached to switch off the alarm. “I feel like I’ve only been asleep a moment,” he mumbled, nuzzling Josh’s shoulder. “Yeah.” Kane snuggled closer, dropping kisses on Josh’s neck, his half-hard prick rubbing Josh’s back. “Let me take you to the airport.” “No, baby. Stay in bed and get another couple of hours before work. I’ll go and make us some tea, then I’ll get going.” Kane slid away before Josh could protest, flicking on the bedside lamp. In its glow, Josh saw his wonderful body for the last time as he slipped into his robe and left the room. He’d offered to take Kane to the airport but he’d refused, no doubt believing that Josh would make a public scene. Already a lump in his throat threatened to choke him as he lay listening to the stairs creak under Kane’s footsteps. Would Kane make love to him one last time? Josh’s body ached with need but he didn’t think he could bear that last closeness. He would go totally to pieces. Still he couldn’t believe Kane was actually going that morning.

**** In the kitchen, Kane stood at the window looking out over the snow while he waited for the kettle to boil. He should eat before he left but the idea repulsed him. His stomach churned with knots. An ache in his chest nearly paralysed him. Christ, was he having a heart attack? He sat heavily at the table and took some deep breaths. Overhead, floor boards creaked and the toilet flushed before footsteps padded back across the landing. Kane hoped Josh didn’t come down and see him like this. He rubbed his chest, filled with deep anxiety. What was it, a panic attack? Kane had never been subject to that in his life. He’d always been supremely confident and in charge. He didn’t feel in charge right now, though. He felt like he dangled on the end of Josh’s string.

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His eyes burned and his throat was tight. He closed his eyes, continuing to breathe deeply, chanting to himself like a mantra to get a grip, that it was going to be okay, that once he was away from this house, everything would be back to normal. Normal service resumed after he had lost his head for a few months somewhere along the line. He stood, made tea with unsteady hands and carried the mugs upstairs. He prayed for an easy goodbye, that Josh would let him go with minimal fuss, that there’d be no damn tears involved. Josh was back in bed, facing away, the quilt pulled up around his shoulders. Kane walked around to put Josh’s tea down on his table, then set his own on the other side. He regarded Josh’s back for a moment. He longed to climb back into bed and slide deep into Josh’s body for the last time but he controlled the urge. Not now. Not again. Instead he took his clothes and went to the bathroom to wash and dress.

**** Josh reached out for his mug and took a sip of tea. He heard the sound of running water in the bathroom and sighed, realising that Kane didn’t intend to climb back in bed with him. Still, that was for the best. Misery consumed him whole. He felt like he would drown beneath the waves of his own anguish. Kane came out of the bathroom. Shuffling and zipping heralded the final things being stuffed into his bag. Then there was silence and Josh tensed. He heard a sigh, then the mattress dipped as Kane crawled onto the bed. An arm went around him and warm lips found his neck. “I’m going to call my cab now.” Josh’s mouth trembled so hard that he bit his lip fiercely to control it. His eyes welled and scorching tears dripped silently onto his pillow. “Are you okay?” Josh tried to speak and could not. Kane drew back. He pulled back the covers and crawled fully dressed beneath them. He pressed himself to Josh, an arm over him, fingers stroking his belly. His other hand caressed Josh’s hair and he leaned over his shoulder so he could look at Josh’s face.

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Josh hid it in the pillow. Kane pressed a kiss to his temple as Josh’s body shook with stifled sobs. “Shhh. Don’t.” Kane held him for several minutes before finally he slid away. Josh heard him speaking into his cell behind him before he came back once more, lips against Josh’s neck. “I’m going to wait downstairs. ‘Bye, Josh.” Kane planted a lingering kiss on Josh’s wet cheek. He climbed off the bed and his footsteps retreated down the stairs. Josh clutched the pillow and silenced himself. The minutes ticked away as he lay desolate. The house was silent. He expected the noise of a car pulling up any moment but the street remained still. Kane was still in the house. Josh scrambled out of bed, rubbing his eyes roughly, pulling on his robe. When he got downstairs, the living room was lit by one lamp. Kane stood at the window in his heavy winter coat peering through the curtains. He turned as Josh walked in the door. He reached out. Josh threw himself into Kane’s embrace. Kane scooped him close, holding him hard, a firm hand on his head, keeping Josh’s face hidden against his shoulder as though he couldn’t bear to look. Josh’s tears wet his coat. He clung as though the strength of his need could make Kane change his mind. “Come back,” he said. “Please come back.” Kane lifted Josh’s head with both hands to peer into his face. His grey eyes were suspiciously shiny. “Oh, Josh.” “Please.” “No. I can’t ask you to wait eight months for me, it’s not fair.” “I will.” “No. This is it. We had our fun and it’s over. I’m not coming back.” Kane took the sting of his words away by pressing a kiss to Josh’s lips. Josh held Kane’s head, returning the kiss desperately. Suddenly passion ignited between them and they were out of control. Kane lifted Josh in his arms, stumbled forward and dropped him on the couch, tumbling on top of him, fumbling Josh’s robe open before his hands wrenched at his own pants.

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Kane slicked himself up with a hasty spit into his hand. He brought Josh’s legs up around him and thrust in. Josh arched beneath him with a cry. The pace was furious. Josh clung, mindless, his blood molten with ecstasy. Kane’s mouth never left his. His hand urged Josh to climax. Somewhere in the distance a horn beeped. Kane groaned, his weight smothering Josh. Josh gripped his back hard, shuddering, trembling, falling over the edge with his lover. He sank back, gasping, flushed, the tears still hot on his face. Kane continued to kiss him. The sound of a horn once more penetrated Josh’s ears. Kane drew back. He fastened himself up quickly and went to the window, waving to the cab driver outside. Then he hoisted his bag and went out into the hall. The loud click of the door unlocking caused Josh to get off the couch, pulling his robe closed. Kane waited, the door half open. His face was pale with spots of red along his jaw and down his neck. Josh had never been with a man who flushed so endearingly when he came. Josh cuddled into his arms and Kane held him once more. “I love you,” Josh said as Kane drew back. For a moment his lover regarded him, then he took Josh’s face in his hands and leaned close, mouth against his ear in barely a whisper. “I love you too.” Kane let go. He left the house and strode along the drive to the taxi without looking back. Josh stared after him. Kane stowed his bag in the trunk and got in the back of the cab, speaking to the driver. The car pulled away and Kane raised his hand in one final goodbye before he was gone. The icy air chilled Josh to the bone. He closed the door and went back inside. His numb legs carried him back upstairs where he stripped off his robe and climbed into the still warm bed. Had he heard right? Yes, he had. That bastard. Kane had acted with the utmost cruelty to drop these words right as he walked out of the door. He loved Josh and yet he was leaving, never to come back? It made no sense at all.

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Josh pulled the pillow Kane had used towards him and breathed in the scent of Kane’s hair. He’d thought he’d never recover from losing Drew, but six months down the line, he was dealing with a broken heart all over again. Had he just been desperately looking for a replacement for Drew? Was that why he had fallen so hard for Kane? Regardless of how and why, it had happened and Kane was gone. Josh was alone once more.

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Chapter Twenty-Five

After an eight hour flight and with the four hour time difference, Kane should have been sleeping the sleep of the dead. Instead, the clock ticked past midnight and he lay in bed, staring at the bag he had yet to unpack in the corner. The flight to Auckland was at ten the next morning and he‘d done nothing to prepare for his eight month trip. He needed to wash clothes, bring out the summer shirts he hadn’t taken to Anchorage, ask his next door neighbour to water his plants and his garden. Instead he lay apathetically in bed with no energy to do anything. He felt numb and empty, as though he’d suffered a bereavement. He didn’t know how he was going to fly across the world and go back to his job like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t left his heart in Anchorage.

**** The alarm clock woke Josh at seven and he started to reach behind him to feel the warm body before he stopped himself. He lay in the stillness listening to the soft music playing from the clock. Yesterday after Kane’s departure, he’d called in sick at work, too red-eyed and heartbroken to face the world. He couldn’t do the same today. Somehow, he had to move on. His cell phone vibrated on the bedside table. Sure it was his mother, he reached over and answered without checking the caller ID. “Hi, Mom.” “It’s not your mom, it’s Drew. Happy birthday, baby.” Josh closed his eyes, sighing. “I don’t want to speak to you.” “Come on. You didn’t think I’d forget your birthday, did you? Did he remember?” “He has gone.” “That’s the best news I’ve heard all year. Did you kick him out?” “He went back to work.” “Is he coming back?” “No.”

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“You’re upset.” “Listen, I can’t talk to you now. I have to get ready for work.” “Let me take you out for a birthday dinner tonight.” “Not a chance.” “Come on, your choice of restaurant, the best champagne. Anything you want. I miss you, Josh. Why didn’t you take my call on New Year’s?” “I’m hanging up now.” “Be ready at seven, Josh. I’ll pick you up.” The phone went dead. Josh let it drop onto the bed. Christ. Why didn’t Drew just give up? The thing was, Josh knew his ex had scented victory simply because Josh had gone to meet him that day in the coffee shop. He knew Josh would waver once Kane was out of the picture. Josh got up and pulled on his robe, shivering. The bed was so much colder without Kane in it.

**** The phone shrilling in the living room jolted Kane awake. He sat up, glancing at the alarm clock. Seven o’clock. Shit. He stumbled out of the bedroom, lifting the phone and pulling back the curtains as he did so. “Kane, honey, where on earth have you been? Don’t you ever answer your phone?” Kane sighed. “Hi, Mom, yes I do. It’s just you never call me on my cell.” His mother had a technical phobia and was still firmly rooted in the 1980s. She didn’t even own a cell and thought an iPod was something you wore after cataract surgery. “Haven’t you been at home?” Kane peered into the coming dawn, listening to the birds paying homage to the new day. “No, I’ve been in Anchorage since November.” “What have you been doing there? Working?” “No. I’ve been…staying with someone.” “A man?” “Well, it’s not going to be a woman is it?” Kane retorted before he could stop himself. His mother was silent a moment in clear displeasure. “Is it serious?” “No. I’m flying to Auckland this morning to start work.”

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“You sound miserable.” Kane didn’t reply. His mother sighed. “Sweetheart, I always knew this job would be bad for your personal life.” “I don’t have a personal life.” “I know that. This man, did you meet him on board?” “Yes.” “You must have liked him a lot to go and stay in Anchorage for two months. I know how you hate the cold.” Kane sat down with the phone. He swallowed, eyes shut. “Kane, think about what you’re doing. Perhaps it’s time to find a job closer to home. I know it’s glamorous and the weather’s great and all that, but is it worth sacrificing your happiness for? Did you really want to throw this man away?” “It’s too late now. I’ve done it.” “It’s never too late. Don’t ruin your life for work. Work to live, not the other way around.” “I have to go.” “All right. Just please think about what I said. Call me from Auckland?” “I will.” “Goodbye honey, safe trip.” “’Bye Mom.” Kane hung up. He pulled his suitcases from the top of his wardrobe and started to pile clothes into them as fast as he could.

**** The coast seemed clear at work. None of his colleagues appeared to have remembered his birthday, which was a relief. Birthdays were a big deal around here, an excuse to slack off work and eat lots of cake. Josh had managed to stop Drew from arriving with a bunch of roses last year. By that point, Drew had become really sick of Josh still being in the closet at work, unable to accompany him on nights out with his colleagues.

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Josh sat at his desk and played with his silver bracelet. From his cubicle, he glanced around the open-plan office. Just how had he kept his sexuality a secret here for so long? Maybe he hadn’t. Maybe everyone talked about him and mocked him behind his back but if they did, he was oblivious. It didn’t matter. He didn’t have a man to blow his cover anymore so his secret was probably safe for a long time. Alicia approached his desk wearing an eye-popping white cardigan. “Hey honey, happy birthday.” She put a silver bag and a card down on his desk. Josh smiled. Alicia was the sweetest person in the office. They had been firm friends for years but because of Josh’s unwillingness to share his secret, he had always kept her at arms’ length, something he regretted. “You shouldn’t have.” “Of course I should. It’s my favourite man’s birthday. Open it.” Josh tore the paper off the small flat present and was confronted with a book of erotic male photography. “Shit.” He jammed it under his desk, looking around quickly. She looked amused. “Relax, baby, it’s our secret. Think I didn’t know something was going on with that hunk I’ve seen in your car several times?” Josh lowered his head, fingering the book. “Yeah well, he’s gone back to work now. He was captain of the cruise I went on last summer.” “Oh, poor you. Is he coming back?” “No.” “I’m sorry, sweetie.” Josh shrugged. He put the book in his desk drawer. “Shit happens.” “He must have looked ultra-hot in his uniform.” “He did.” “Did he ever…while he was wearing…” Alicia blushed. Josh blushed too. “Yeah.” Alicia grinned. “Oh my God. I have to get back. Speak to you later.” She scuttled off. Josh watched her return to her desk. If he didn’t know better, he would swear Alicia had a little man-on-man fetish going on. He glanced around before he took out the book and held it on his knee under the desk, flicking through it. Naked men with hard-ons in water, by swimming pools and on the beach. Naked men with other naked men, cuddling, kissing, loving. It was too much. It made Josh remember all he had lost. He put the book away.

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**** His colleagues waited until lunchtime before they sprang a chocolate cake on him lit with thirty-three candles, pelting Josh with streamers and ribbons. Bashfully, he blew out the candles and accepted a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of champagne, chocolates and a giant basket of male grooming products. He looked sadly around the people he had worked with for years, the people he had never bothered to get to know because he considered himself different from them, isolated and cowardly for never daring to wear his true colours on his sleeve. Tears brimmed in his eyes and someone offered him a hanky. He made a speech, thanking everyone for the kind gifts before he cut the cake and someone dished it out. His colleagues had also brought sandwiches and munchies, so the office was happy for the rest of the day. Josh went back to work with his belly full and chocolate around his mouth. Although his birthday had come at the worst possible time, it hadn’t been as miserable as he had presumed it might. Kane was gone and Josh still had to deal with that loss, but others had made sure that the day hadn’t been so difficult after all.

**** At two o’clock, Josh was almost sliding into a sugar-induced coma when the receptionist called him to say someone was waiting to see him. Josh thanked her and hung up, frowning. It was probably Drew, come to out him with roses after his unsuccessful attempt last year, or maybe Chester, bringing him a pink furry thong as he had in the past. He pushed his chair back and sloped across the office without enthusiasm. Pushing open the door he glanced into reception. Amongst the comfy couches and arty prints on the wall, a tall man in a heavy winter coat stood drinking a cup of water by the cooler. As Josh gawped, frozen in place, he tossed his cup into the waste-paper basket and turned around.

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Chapter Twenty-Six

Josh forgot he wasn’t out at work. He charged across the room and threw himself into Kane’s arms. Kane stumbled back like he had on that snowy evening in November when he’d unexpectedly appeared on Josh’s porch. He caught Josh as fiercely as he had that night and he kissed him, right in the middle of Josh’s work place. Josh didn’t care. He clung to Kane like a life raft, mouth glued to his, exploring the moist heat of Kane’s tongue with his own. The kiss didn’t break. Kane only held him closer, tighter, devoured him deeper until Josh’s head swam, his skin on fire with need before he remembered. He pulled back, gasping. “W-what are you doing here?” Kane’s lips were kiss-swollen. He held Josh’s face in his hands. “I couldn’t go just yet.” “But what about work?” “Fuck work.” As Josh gaped at him, he became aware of dozens of pairs of eyes watching him. He turned his head to see every person from the office staring through the glass at him and Kane. “Shit, you just outed me at work.” “I’m sorry, baby.” But Kane didn’t seem sorry at all. He had a big silly grin on his face like the one he wore when he’d just come. He slung his arm around Josh’s shoulders and pulled him in for another kiss. Josh drowned. His blood boiled with passion. He knew he would never feel again like this in his life. He pulled back reluctantly with cheeks flaming and fumbled in his jacket pocket. “Here, take my key. I’ll see you at home.” “Okay, my angel.” Kane kissed him again and wandered off with that grin still plastered on his face. If Josh didn’t know better, he would swear he was drunk. He went back into the main office and watched his colleagues scatter back to their desk. A slow hand clap started as he walked through them and a few wolf-whistles were directed his way.

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“About time too.” “Your boyfriend’s hot, Josh.” “How come my boyfriend doesn’t come to the office and kiss me like that?” “Thought you were never going to come out.” Josh sat flame-faced at his desk and shuffled some papers with trembling hands. He couldn’t help touching his burning lips. Kane was back. He couldn’t believe it. It had to be some sort of dream. He said he wouldn’t come back. Not ever. And yet he was back a day later and he had said fuck work! Oh, God. He hardly dared to hope and pray that he now had Kane forever.

**** The house was dark when Josh pulled into the drive, apart from a dim light shining from the bedroom. Was Kane waiting naked in bed for him? He trembled with lascivious excitement as he entered the house, finding it silent. He put his bag of presents on the kitchen table and extracted the champagne, which he put in the fridge and the flowers, which he stuck in a jug of water. Then he hung his coat up by the front door and went upstairs. Three bags stood against the bedroom wall. He caught his breath as he saw Kane lying naked on his bed, lazily stroking his erection. Candles were lit all over the room, turning the place into a fire hazard, but Josh was willing to take the risk. “You took your time. I had to start without you.” Josh whimpered. He fell over his pants in his haste to discard his clothes and Kane sniggered at him. Josh tossed his boxers aside and crawled onto the bed, straddling Kane’s hips. Leaning down, he pinned his lover’s wrists to the pillow. “Now tell me again what you’re doing here.” Kane’s grey eyes gleamed with violet fire. He made no move to get free. “I called work. Told them I wasn’t coming.” “Aren’t you contractually obliged or something?” “Sure. I owe them four weeks’ notice.” “Are you going to work it?”

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“No. I’m here aren’t I?” “B-but you’ll get into awful trouble.” “So? Let them sue me. I’ll find another job. You turn me on when you hold me down this way, Josh.” Josh groaned. “You’ve ruined your life for me.” Kane shook his head. “I listened to my heart, my head and my cock. For once they were all in perfect agreement. Will you handcuff me later if I ask nicely?” “Shut up, I’m trying to be serious.” “So am I. I want you. Sit on my cock.” Josh caught his breath. He kissed Kane, letting go of his wrists and Kane promptly grabbed his ass, massaging it, spreading it. He slipped a finger between Josh’s buttocks to tease his entrance. “Oh God.” Josh scrabbled in the drawer for lube. Kane reached over and drew out a condom. “This too. Let’s not make a habit of it.” Josh understood. Barebacking would be their special treat from now on. His lover rolled the rubber on and Josh sat back, one hand braced on Kane’s chest, one holding his shaft as he slowly sank down. Kane hissed in pleasure, head arched back, hands tight on Josh’s hips. Josh remembered that first illicit time in a hotel room on Patmos, the way he had rode Kane like this and known nothing again would ever compete with this feeling. Perhaps Kane remembered too. He panted as Josh rocked on him, a grin spreading across his face. “What?” Kane’s hand closed around Josh’s dick. “Just thinking about the cruise. And how I never thought I’d meet the man of my dreams at sea.” Great minds did think alike. Josh smiled. He reached for Kane’s other hand, interlocked his fingers with his. “You know I’ve always been yours, right? Since that moment we first met.” “I know you have. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realise that I’m yours too.” Josh fell forward, mouth seeking Kane’s. Kane thrust up as they kissed, fucking him deliciously, each stroke going into his prostate, making him see stars. “Oh, you won’t regret it. I’ll love you forever.”

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“I know you will, my love.” Kane arched beneath him. He growled his pleasure, a flush spreading across his face and the top of his chest. He held Josh close, still moving into Josh until he came, lacing Kane’s chest with white. He collapsed on top of him and Kane’s strong arms wrapped around him. They lay still and entwined.

**** Josh had fallen asleep when Kane extricated himself. His lover rolled him gently beneath the covers and Josh snuggled up and reached for Kane. “Be right back. I’m thirsty.” Josh blinked at him in the candle light. “There’s champagne in the fridge. Bring it up here.” “You must have been expecting a celebration.” “Oh, they bought it me at work. It’s my birthday.” Kane lifted an eyebrow. “It’s your birthday and you didn’t tell me?” “I didn’t expect you to be here, remember?” Kane shook his head. “Fine, but tomorrow I’m taking you shopping for anything you want.” “You’re jobless.” “I have plenty of money. Don’t you worry about me. Start making a list of all those sex toys you could never afford to buy.” Josh laughed. “Don’t give me ideas.” Kane glanced over to the wardrobe door. “I left my robe.” He plucked it from the handle and pulled it on. “Yeah. I hoped you might come back for it.” Kane’s smile was tender. He turned and left the room. Josh lay back, unable to remove the grin from his face. From downstairs, he heard a champagne cork pop along with cursing. He snickered to himself. Kane appeared at the door with the bottle and two glasses. He climbed beneath the covers and Josh held the glasses while he poured. “To us.”

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“To us.” “Happy birthday, baby.” They both drank. Kane put their glasses on the bedside table and rolled atop Josh, nuzzling his neck. Josh looked over his shoulder at the bags. “Kane?” “Yes.” “Did you bring your uniform?” “Yes.” “Would you—” “Yes. Anything you want. Perhaps you’ll let me take photos to go with that hot video.” “Shit, have you still got that?” “Sure I have. It was going to keep me warm while I sailed around the world. Now I don’t need it.” Shyly, Josh said, “Perhaps you’ll let me look at it?” Kane grinned and dug a finger in his ribs. “Dirty boy.” As he kissed him, a knock sounded at the door downstairs. Kane lifted his head. “Expecting someone?” Josh’s blood ran cold. Sure he was, it was just that in all the excitement he had forgotten his supposed dinner date. He cursed Drew to hell. Kane’s eyes narrowed. “That son of a bitch,” he hissed as he scrambled out of bed. “Wait,” Josh said, following, yanking on his robe. He really didn’t want bloodshed at his front door, not on his birthday. But Kane was away, his robe flapping around his knees as he charged down the stairs with Josh hot on his heels. Kane swung the door open. “You just don’t get the message, do you pal?” Drew, armed with a bouquet of red roses, gaped at him. “I thought you’d gone.” “You thought wrong. I’m back. And this time it’s for good. You had your chance and you threw him away. Now he’s mine.” Drew looked over Kane’s shoulder at Josh. “I’d rather hear it from him.” “Be my guest.” Kane stepped aside. Eyed by them both, Josh’s face heated. He shook his head at Drew. “You’re too late.”

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“Baby, come on. This guy, he’s some Lothario that shags his way around the world. I give it two months, then he’ll be off again.” Josh pulled Kane back. “Go away, Drew. Don’t ever come back.” Drew looked at them both for a moment. Then he threw the flowers at Josh so the thorns scratched his hands. “Happy fucking birthday, you stupid little bastard.” Kane sprang forward, barefoot in the snow. He grabbed Drew by the collar and tossed him over the hood of Josh’s car, where he held him there by the neck. “Say you’re sorry, asshole!” “Kane, leave it.” “No. Say sorry!” Struggling in Kane’s iron grip, Drew snarled, “I’m sorry, okay.” “Say it like you mean it.” “Let him go, it doesn’t matter.” “It fucking matters.” Kane dragged Drew upright. “Do you know who bore the brunt of Josh’s misery when you up and left him? Me. He came on that fucking cruise broken and humiliated and convinced no one would ever love him again and I put him back together. It’s taken me a long time. Don’t think I’m going to let you come back in here and destroy everything I’ve worked to build. Now get the hell out of here and don’t let me catch you sniffing around again or so help me I’ll smash your fucking head open.” Kane shoved Drew into the snow. He lay there a moment stunned before he picked himself up. Josh stepped back as Kane re-entered the house, slamming the door behind him and locking it. He breathed heavily, snow down one side of his robe, his hair damp with falling flakes. He turned to Josh, who still clutched the flowers. “Now then, where were we?” “Drinking champagne in bed.” “That’s right. Put your flowers in water. I’ll be upstairs defrosting my feet.” Josh watched Kane climb the stairs. He smiled to himself as he went through to the kitchen, ran some water in the sink and put the flowers into it. He’d never had a champion before. A hero. Now he was more than just the Captain’s man. He was the Captain’s beloved. “Come on, baby.”

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He heard water running into the bath upstairs and the thoughts of Kane, bubbles and champagne were more than he could bear. “I’m coming!” he cried, sprinting up the stairs. “I hope you’re not, I haven’t even touched you yet.” Kane was bent naked over the bath, swirling bath oil into the water. Josh took a moment to stop and admire the most beautiful sight he had ever seen before he threw himself into Kane’s arms.

About the Author

Scarlet likes cats and hats and firmly believes that the only thing better than one attractive man is two attractive men. Email: [email protected] Scarlet loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.total-e-bound.com.

Also by Scarlet Blackwell Stand and Deliver The Captain’s Man Sin Row

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