Smart Alex

Smart Alex by AKM Miles

Torquere Press www.torquerepress.com

Copyright ©2007 by AKM Miles First published in www.torquerepress.com, 2008 NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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Prologue He'd known for a long time. Really ... you know. He had just never acted on the knowledge. Well, not overtly anyway. He first knew early in high school. Before that he thought he just wasn't interested in girls yet. Then he realized he just wasn't interested in girls. He found himself watching closely as his teammates played ball. The way the muscles in their legs would move and stretch; then he became obsessed with the muscles in their backs. He found himself more and more often having to hide a boner in the middle of some class or sport. He finally admitted it to himself when he started looking at guys' lips. Their mouths, come on! Mmm. He would fantasize about them, and that was his definitive recognition that he was truly gay. He wanted to kiss Tony Elkins, guard on the basketball team, with a single-minded, dedicated need. Tony would have knocked him into next week if he had even looked at him funny. But he wanted to. That began his lonely existence in the gay world of Small Town, USA. It was such a small, rural town that sports was the only thing to do or to watch. They didn't have cable or any of the high-tech stuff that would have let him know he wasn't so alone in his feelings. He didn't have a computer at home, not that Internet access was available there anyway. He had one of those late birthdays, so when he started school he was a little younger than others in his class. But he was smart. Really smart. He was so intelligent that he was on both the ball teams and the academic teams, such as they 3

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were. They had contests against other small schools and due to his knowledge of lots of trivia, always won. He just tended to remember things he had either read or seen. He had a knack for figuring things out. He was something of a novelty in his area. Not that much to speak of, but he had his niche. The smart one. The geek. He had even been called "Smart" instead of Steve since he was in about second grade. Everyone called him Smart as a matter of fact. Lots of people didn't even know his real name and some had forgotten. He had gotten used to it. He won a scholarship to the biggest school in the state. His parents were thrilled and his friends were jealous, but he was just excited to be getting away to a bigger city so he could learn more about the world and education. But what he really wanted to know was what there was out there for people like him. Homos. Queers. Faggots. You name it and the guys had joked about it. Somehow, he never could joke about it. Higher education was truly an eye opener for him.

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Chapter One His first day at the university was mind-boggling. Smart certainly didn't expect to see guys walking around holding hands or kissing or anything like that. He just thought there might be some places or ways of finding out more about the gay lifestyle in a large school and city. As he was checking into his dorm, wide-eyed and green as grass, with nerves and excitement warring for the top reasons for his bounciness and his queasy stomach, his introduction to, "Yes, Smart, there is a life here for you," became reality. Carrying the last duffel bag and trash bag of pillows for his room, he was not expecting to hear ... what he heard. "Oh, baby, I missed you so much." Oops. He came upon a couple in a tight clinch in the corner of the third floor landing. He had to get by them to get the door open to go in the hall. His room was right at the end of the hall by the exit door to the stairs. "S'cuse me y'all. Comin' through." He put his head down a little to sort of give them privacy and to get his duffel by their legs without hitting them. "No problem, man," said the tall dark-haired guy with his back to Smart said and eased around a little. Smart looked up and nearly dropped his bag. His mouth went slack and his eyes popped. The person behind the big guy was not the girl he expected, but another guy. Smaller, and frankly, very pretty, but definitely a guy. He had blond hair—about three different shades—with lots of curls. His eyes were a really pretty light 5

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blue and his lips were thick and red and kind of wet. Smart just stood there. They probably thought he was freaked, but he was more thrilled than anything. "Ooh. Tommy. Looks like we blew his mind. Sorry, dude," the smaller guy laughed and though his face was a little red, he didn't seem pissed. "No, hey. It's cool. I mean, really. I ... uh ... I can relate. Well, not really since I never ... but I ... uh..." Really eloquent, Smart. Made a great impression there. They both smiled and turned to face him fully, and he could tell they were both hard in their jeans. He really had interrupted a heavy scene. "Sorry, man—we just couldn't help it. We haven't seen each other in months and ... well..." The taller guy also had curly hair, but it was a little shorter and his eyes were chocolate brown. Nice. His smile was nice, too. "I'm Smart." "Hey, good for you. I'm Tommy, and this is Mike. My Mike." "No, I mean my name is Smart. Well, it's been my name forever so it might as well be. It's what I go by. Smart Fallon." "Oh. Cool. So, I guess you are ... really smart, I mean," Tommy laughed a little as he and Mike looked at him curiously. "Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, sorry I interrupted. I'm ... uh ... right through there, first room you see. 321. Stop by sometime if you want." 6

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"Wait a minute there, Smart. You seemed to be, how do I put this, interested instead of freaked out by us. You gay?" "I guess you would say I'm gay wannabe. I'm ... hey, you all want to come on in for a minute and talk? It's right here." He watched them look at each other, smile, and nod in unison. Sweet. They followed him through the door and into his room. He hadn't seen his roommate yet, so he was staking his claim on the outside wall to the right of the door. All his stuff was thrown around on his bed and desk and chair, so Mike and Tommy sat on the other bed and just waited to see what he would do. Smart dropped his last load and cleared a place on his bed. No one said anything for a few seconds and then Mike started to snicker. Tommy chimed in and Smart joined them. It felt good. He was happy. Finally Tommy said, "What's so funny?" Smart looked at the two of them sitting there, arms around each other's waists, so comfortable touching each other and he just smiled and said, "I'm just happy. You don't know what I left or what I hoped to find when I got here. I can't believe I found it so fast." They were his ideal, his hope for his future. His dreams come true. "You hoped to find two gay guys making out in the stairwell of your dorm?" Mike chuckled as he said it. "Actually that's more than I hoped for. It's like this. I'm from this small ... no, tiny town about two hundred miles from here and it's like another world. I've known I ... uh ... preferred guys to girls for a few years but, believe me, there was no chance at all to act on it. None. Nada. Zip. 7

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I was excited to be coming to a big city and to get a chance to find out if there was a chance in hell that there was a hope of a life for me, like I am. So, I guess you guys give me hope. You look happy." It was a big speech for him and very revealing. It left him feeling a little vulnerable. He had really put it out there. They looked at each other for a second and it seemed like they were communicating without words. They turned back to him. Tommy spoke for both of them, it seemed. "We like you; we'll help. So, you've never even..." "Never even anything. Dreamed about a lot of things. Smart, yeah. Intellectually. Personally, I am clueless. Don't know how to approach someone, how to know who it is safe to talk to, what to say, how to go about any of it. You can see why seeing you all sort of made my day. And the fact that you are nice, too, is just a bonus." "Hey, babe, we're gonna be teachers. Or mentors. That is just cool." Tommy said to Mike as they leaned in and touched foreheads. Obviously that was too close to resist and they leaned into each other and their lips met. They didn't seem to notice or care that he was right there watching, and he couldn't stop. They were just beautiful. Smart was entranced. He watched as Tommy's tongue came out and licked right across Mike's lips; he heard Mike groan and open his mouth and let Tommy in. Their mouths were open and Smart could see their tongues. Tommy's hands came up to cup Mike's face and they sort of sank into each other. 8

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Mike's hand came up and pushed into Tommy's hair. His fingers clenched and unclenched on Tommy's scalp and Smart was sure it felt like heaven. He was sure it all felt like heaven. He was hard as a rock and not a little jealous. Damn, but that looked good. He cleared his throat and could have slapped himself as they slowly eased away from each other and looked over at him. Their eyes were glazed, their mouths wet and swollen. They smiled at Smart, and Mike turned his head into Tommy's neck and Tommy eased him into his arms, his hand resting against Mike's heart. He leaned to his ear and Smart heard him whisper, "I love you, baby." "Mmhmm," Mike's answer was muffled and trembly. Smart couldn't believe how comfortable they were showing their deep affection for each other. Their love. Oh, he wanted something like that. To give Mike and Tommy a little time, Smart got up and started shuffling around—putting things away, ignoring them for a few minutes. Despite the attempt, he was hyperaware of them. They were so ... there for each other. It made him feel so warm inside. Eventually, Mike and Tommy started helping. They saw him take out his sheets and started making up his bed, smiling at the pile of pillows. He looked at them, questioningly. "We like a lot of pillows, too," Tommy said, smiling at Mike. Mike nodded, turning red again. "Where do you guys live?" Smart was curious to find out how they were able to be together in the dorm. Were they roommates? He hoped so, for their sake, but if they were why 9

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were they embracing in the stairway? So he doubted they got to share a room. Tommy answered for them. "Well, Mike lives here in town. Since his parents don't have a lot of extra cash, he sort of lives at home. But he mostly stays with me when we can arrange it. It's kind of hard, you know. You're right; you did get lucky right off the bat. But don't think it's easy even here. We know other gays and we have gone to a couple of clubs, but we find we like it better with just the two of us." Tommy looked at Mike, then back at Smart. "It's hard for us to get alone time. I have a room here again this year, but I have a roomie, Brad Jackson, who is so not into the guy/guy thing. He isn't mean about it. But he wants nothing to do with us as a couple. He doesn't make it hard for me by telling or hassling me, but he just can't handle us being together in front of him. Not that we have ever done anything in front of him, but I guess his imagination gets the best of him and he gets antsy. We avoid him when we're together. We just meet somewhere else. No sense in pushing it. So, do you know your roommate?" "Nah, man, I haven't seen or heard anything. I figured he'd be here by now." Tommy and Mike had drifted back onto the bed and were again sitting close, with their arms around each other. Tommy had his left arm around Mike's neck and had just pulled him in for another quick kiss when the door slammed open. 10

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"Well, fuck. It looks like queer central in here. I'm fucking not staying here with a bunch of faggots. Which one of you losers in supposed to be my roommate?" The guy was big and ugly, wearing jeans and dirty t-shirt with the sleeves ripped out. He was sweating and his hair was cropped close to his head. He looked like he could take them all out in one sweep of his beefy hands. "That would be me ... uh, the loser that's your roommate. These are my friends." Smart was wary of him, but wasn't going to back down. "You one of them?" The big guy's tone was belligerent; his eyes narrowed in hatred. Smart just looked at him—how could you hate someone you didn't even know? "I'm like them, but not with them. We'll get out of your way and let you move in." Smart glanced over at Mike and Tommy. "We were just about to go get something to eat anyway. Come on, Tommy, Mike, let's go get some pizza. My treat." Smart checked to make sure his stuff wasn't in the big guy's way and the three stood and walked to the door. "Hold it, smarty, you ain't goin' nowhere yet." The guy started to grab his arm then jerked back his hand like it was going to get burned or contaminated or something. Tommy and Mike sort of snickered. "What's so funny, faggots?" He turned on them and took a menacing step toward the two as they stood in the doorway. "Uh, nothing, dude. It's just you got his name right off the bat." "What are you talking about?" the big guy said. 11

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"My name is Smart. Smart Fallon. What's yours, by the way?" Smart asked. "It don't matter what my name is. I ain't gonna be here long enough for you to use it. I'm getting my room changed right now. Adios, motherfuckers." "Actually you're wrong. We never touch our mothers. But we do fuck each other." Tommy and Smart both looked at Mike as if he'd grown another head. Smart's "roommate" actually growled. They split, fast, and pounded down the stairs. "Where we goin'?" Tommy huffed as he jumped down about five steps at a time, dragging Mike after him. "Office," Smart threw out as he passed them on the stairs and hit the door into the ground-floor hall. "What for?" Mike got out, barely able to keep up with larger boys. "Room change, our way," he laughed and looked at Tommy. "Wanna be roomies? I can claim fear of big ugly back there and request another roommate. Under the circumstances, I think they'll allow it. Then you can switch and not only will I have a roomie I can stand, you all will have a safe place to hang out. I can clear out a lot of times and give you all some space. What do you think?" Tommy stopped in the hallway. Mike ran into him and kind of squeaked. Smart waited to hear what Tommy thought of his plan. "Smart. Really smart, Smart. I see where you got your name. I'd love it. We can work it out. We won't bug you. We'll..." He stopped as Smart put up his hand. 12

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"Let's see if we can get this worked out first. Then we'll figure it out. Sounds good, though." Smart hoped he could get the switch arranged with the least amount of problems, and he hoped to avoid his almost-roommate in the future. Within a few hours, he had a new roommate (or two, depending on how you looked at it) and it was fine with him. They didn't even see the other guy again. Tommy and Mike went back and forth, moving Tommy's stuff in. Tommy didn't have that much, but there were a lot of pillows. He smiled, remembering how Mike had blushed at the mention of them. Whatever. It hadn't been easy getting it all arranged, but he was able to convince the clerk that he was worried about being around the homophobic roommate he was assigned. No one was averse to the idea of Tommy moving in with him. Tommy's old roommate Brad was okay with it, it seemed, and Smart hoped he got along with his new roommate. After all the work, they were really hungry. "You all want to go out and get something or order in here?" Smart asked as they settled on their respective beds to relax a minute after everything was in place. It really was uncanny the way Mike and Tommy looked at each other for a few seconds and then nodded and said together, "Order in. Stay here." Smart laughed at them and said, "You all are something else. I'll order. What do you like?" "Oh anything but the fishies, man. Dr. Pepper for me and something orange for him. He likes fruity drinks, don't you, baby?' Tommy smiled at Mike, teasing and loving at the same 13

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time. Mike swatted at him and they went over onto the bed wrestling and laughing. Smart went out the door, closed it, ordered the pizzas and drinks, and felt like he was on top of the world. He had a new life. He had new friends and he was going to find someone. He was ready for it all to begin.

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Chapter Two In the couple of days they had before classes started, they began finding out about each other. Tommy worked for a local construction company when he was there for school. In the summers, he worked on his family's horse ranch. Mike was a designer for one of the largest florists in town. Smart had a job in the library on campus. It was boring but easy and would let him get his schoolwork done in his down times. He was full of curiosity about the relationship between Tommy and Mike and how it started and how long it had been going on and how they ... well he'd just keep wondering some things. "We met when the company I work for was working on a project for the florist he works for. They were expanding their greenhouse and we were putting up the main frame." Tommy gave Mike a sly grin. "I kept noticing him working at this big table. He'd be drawing and then he'd hop up and grab stuff out of the refrigerators and start throwing them all together." Tommy smiled again, his eyes twinkling. "They were fantastic, man. Even I could appreciate them. He is awesome. Really talented." "Tommy was so sexy working there. I gotta tell you, it's a wonder I got anything done. All I could see was him in those tight jeans and big old boots." Mike closed his eyes and licked his lips, as if savoring the memory. "It was summer and he would take off his shirt and I'd almost come in my jeans just watching those big sweaty muscles move and ripple." Mike looked at Tommy and his eyes shone with love. Tommy 15

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reached out and touched Mike's bottom lip with his index finger. Mike sucked it into his mouth before letting it go with a pop. "We don't have a lot and we don't have anything of our own. But we have each other. We plan on having a future." He glanced at Mike. "We want things. Together things. I love my life." Mike was blushing by the time he was done talking, and hid his face against Tommy's chest. Smart just smiled at them. "You guys make me believe romance ain't dead." Smart grinned, then his face became more serious. "How about your parents? Do they know? How'd they react? Mine don't have a clue. I'm not in a hurry to tell them, either." Tommy's parents were fine with it. They were very openminded and supportive. Not so with Mike's. Mike looked down at the bed when he told Smart how they treated him. Yeah, they let him live there, but they were very cold to him and Tommy was not allowed in the house. They took every opportunity to try to change his mind and behavior. They even suggested rehab for him for his "problem". It was just so clichéd. Smart was sure he wasn't coming out to his parents any time soon. **** Weeks went by and they formed a sort of routine. They got used to each others' hours, and it worked out that there were times when Tommy and Mike could have the room. Smart always knocked before entering or called and let the phone ring twice before hanging up to let them know they had about 16

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ten minutes before he arrived. He got used to the smell of sex and he tried really hard not to be jealous and horny. Didn't work though; he was both, pretty much all the time. There was one time he had come barreling in after someone spilled a whole drink on him. He'd needed to change and get to work on time. He wasn't thinking about their routine. Hurrying in, he caught Tommy and Mike in the middle of a really intimate moment. Well, that answered one question for him. Tommy was on top with Mike's legs over his shoulders and he was bent over, with his mouth devouring Mike's. Mike's arms were tight around Tommy's neck and he was moaning. Since Smart hadn't slammed the door back, they hadn't heard him. They were completely unaware of him for a few minutes. He stood there, in shocked awe. He could see Tommy's tight butt clenching as he pushed his cock into Mike's ass, the muscles flexing and relaxing. Tommy pulled out, getting ready to go back in. "Mike, love you, baby. So tight, so hot. Damn, so good." Tommy slammed back in and his whole body shook. Smart knew Tommy was coming. He collapsed onto Mike, and Smart could see Tommy's hand between them pulling at Mike's cock until he yelled and threw his head back. Tommy lay with his hand resting right over Mike's heart. Smart stood there, afraid to move, wanting to back out and not let them know he had seen them, but was afraid any movement would give him away. Mike opened his eyes then and saw him. Smart saw realization, embarrassment, and then amusement in his eyes. 17

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He put his mouth against Tommy's ear and mumbled something. Tommy swung his head around. He jumped as if to get up, then just relaxed against Mike again. He sighed deeply and whispered something to Mike. "Uh, guys. I am so sorry. I ... there was an accident and I got messed up and had to hurry back here to change and didn't think and I am ... well ... again I am so sorry for interrupting and embarrassing you both." Smart knew he was babbling. "Let me just grab a shirt and pants and I'll go the bathroom down the hall and change and be gone before you know it and I'll never mention this again and I ... but I'm ... uh ... sorry." Smart wished the floor would open up and swallow him. He hoped their friendship wouldn't be affected by his seeing them like that. It hadn't bothered him, but he felt sure they were upset. Especially Tommy. "Hey, man. It's all right. Just go back out and give us a few seconds here and we'll be okay. Just a minute. Okay?" Tommy asked without looking back at him. He was out the door in seconds and stood awkwardly in the hall by his door until it opened and a dressed Tommy let him back in. He put his head down and walked past without looking at either of them. Tommy laughed at him. "Hell man, don't hide your face now. There's nothing to see. We're not mad. Yeah, it's a little embarrassing, but you're our friend and because of you we have a place to be together. That means so much to us. Get over it. We're sorry we freaked you out. Really." 18

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"You didn't," Smart said "I'm just sorry if you all will be awkward around me now. I'm sorry I forgot the plan for letting you know I was coming in. Anyway, I'll get changed and get out of here. Sorry, guys." Smart started grabbing his clothes, whipped his shirt off over his head, started unzipping his jeans and was in the process of taking them off when he looked over and saw them sitting on the side of the bed watching him, avidly. "What?" "Hey, it's only fair. You saw us naked ... and busy ... it's only fair we get to see you, too." Mike chuckled a little, leaning into Tommy and smiling as he watched Smart. "Not much to see here. But ... uh ... feel free." He finished undressing and put on the new set of clothes. He was heading out the door when he heard the clapping. He looked back and they were both standing and clapping their hands and laughing. "You goofballs. I gotta go. See you all later." **** When Smart left, Tommy and Mike looked at each other and burst out laughing. "Poor baby." Mike said. "He wants it so bad and he doesn't even know what it's like. We've got to find him someone to help him along, initiate him a little." "Yeah," Tommy said, looking down at his hands. "But I don't want him hurt. What if he gets jerked around? I don't want his first time to be with a loser." He looked back up at 19

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Mike. "He's never even kissed a guy. Think how awful it would be if we couldn't kiss." Tommy shook his head and then laughed when Mike launched himself into his arms and took his lips in a rough kiss. Tommy let Mike push him back to the bed again. "Hey, baby," Tommy said. "You wantin' again? We've got about an hour left. Whatcha wanna do?" "Mmm. I wanna do you." Mike blushed as he admitted it. Usually Tommy topped, but he knew that Mike needed it now. "I'm all yours, baby. You know that. Come on, take me." Tommy swung them around so he was on the bottom and he spread his legs and let Mike lay between them. They rubbed against each other for a few seconds and both groaned at the clothes between them. "Off. I want them off. Come on." Mike was getting agitated and pulling at their clothes. Soon they were both naked and the moans and sighs as they rubbed skin to skin were relief and desire combined. Tommy reached down and took Mike's cock in his hand and gently smoothed the soft skin. Mike almost whimpered. "Yeah, that's my baby," Tommy crooned. "All hard for me. Come on, take me, Mike. I want to feel you deep inside and know I'll carry you around in me all day." Mike groaned at his words and slid his hard cock down between Tommy's spread legs. He dragged it over the sensitive patch of skin right behind Tommy's balls and smiled as Tommy shivered. Mike scooted back a little and his head went down. He put his tongue to that spot and licked 'til Tommy was holding Mike's head tight between his hands and humping up into his mouth. "Oh baby, oh ... oh God, you're 20

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so good ... so good to me, love you, come on, baby, come on, I'm gonna shoot, and I want you in me when I do." Tommy tried to pull Mike's head up, but Mike wasn't having it. He put his mouth to Tommy's sack and took Tommy's balls into his mouth. He sucked and licked and Tommy lost it, shooting straight up onto his stomach. Mike looked up and smiled at him, his mouth wet and gleaming. He slid up and licked Tommy's stomach clean, his hand reaching over to the desk to get the lube. Mike slicked his hand and slid two fingers into Tommy's ass. He started to move them around, getting Tommy slick and ready. Tommy hummed and spread his legs wider. Mike finally pulled his fingers out and eased his cock inside, slowly and carefully. He always acted like he was afraid he was going hurt Tommy, which was probably crazy. Tommy was bigger and stronger than Mike, but Tommy wasn't taken that often and Mike moved slowly. When Tommy reached down and grabbed his hips and pulled him in tight, Mike's balls smacked his ass with an audible slap; Mike took it for the sign it was and started moving faster. "Mmmh," Mike groaned and settled into a rhythm. In and out and he even threw in a few rocking motions, managing to tag Tommy's gland and make him shudder all over. Mike got into the spirit of things and began to really pound away, pushing in over and over as Tommy kept up a steady humming, almost a growling sound. "Gonna come. Tommy, I love you, oh, oh ... I'm gonna fill you up and love you forever." Mike slammed in one more time and shot deep into Tommy's ass. He shuddered over and 21

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over, finally pulling out to collapse onto Tommy, his eyes glowing. "You're my Mike. Come here." Tommy gathered him in and they lay there together, exhausted, and smiling. After a few minutes, Tommy looked at Mike and said, "You're right. We need to get Smart laid soon."

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Chapter Three Smart couldn't believe it was already time for fall break. He knew that Mike was going to go home with Tommy for the whole week. He heard them talking and knew that Mike was looking forward to it. He figured he would just study and hang out here. But then Tommy said, "Hey, Smart. Why don't you come with us? It will be work, not a real break, but nothing you can't handle." Tommy grinned. "We'd love to have you with us. Not like we can do much there anyway, you know. Come on, it'd be fun." Smart could not think of a reason not to go. He'd love to see the horse operation Tommy's dad owned and spend time with his friends. He didn't mind work. "I'm in. Thanks." So Tommy's dad, Mitch, came in a big old dually and the three boys threw their stuff in and off they went. Mitch was a really nice guy, asking questions of Smart and not cracking jokes about his name. He treated Mike like another son and seemed genuinely fond of him. When he saw how the three of them laughed and joked and got along he asked, "Hey, you guys aren't a three-way are you?" The look on all three faces sent him into gales of laughter. "Guess not. Sorry." He laughed again and slapped his knee. "You just seem so ... I don't know. Close, I guess. Just wondered." Well now, wasn't that like a little seed had been planted? Smart knew there was such a thing but he had never considered it. And from the look on the Tommy and Mike's 23

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faces neither had they. But suddenly it got quiet and then they all looked at each other and burst out laughing. Tommy and Mike did that thing again. After a few seconds looking into each other's eyes they turned back to him and said, together, "Nah." He just smiled. He didn't think so. You don't mess with perfection. During the week at the Hardcastle Ranch, Smart worked and played and laughed more than he ever had before. He felt like he was sort of growing into his own skin. He became comfortable thinking of himself as gay and was okay with not having anyone yet. Being around Tommy and Mike and seeing the ease they had with each other, which he realized was unique for a couple as young as they were, was a learning opportunity he was glad to have. He knew he would never be comfortable with just a fuckbuddy like he had heard about. He didn't want to do that with someone he didn't have some kind of feelings for. Not that he wasn't horny. God help him. He was going to get calluses on his hand before long. It became a game for them to try to find a way for the two boys to have a little time alone. A kiss here, a fondle there. And once, Smart played lookout at the barn door and nearly creamed his jeans listening to the sounds coming out of one of the empty stalls that he knew had clean hay and a clean horse blanket on it ('cause he had fixed it up for them). He whistled when he saw a pickup coming down the long lane to let them know time was up. Within minutes they were walking past him, reeking of come and smiling like they had won the lottery. 24

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He walked with them away from the barn and just shook his head when they thanked him over and over for the sweet opportunity he had helped provide. Someday, he thought. The Saturday night before they were returning to campus, Tommy and Mike wanted him to come to a local bar that had music and dancing. He wasn't too into the idea. "Come on, man. You'll like it. You don't have to dance. We'll just hang out. Drink some Cokes and eat some fried stuff and laugh at everyone else. It'll be fun." Smart got a little nervous when Tommy and Mike looked at each other and smiled. Something was up. He just didn't know what. "You all aren't setting me up, are you?" he asked, tilting his head a little. "No, man. We wouldn't do you wrong. Come on. Let's just get out and kick up our heels a little." "Okay. What do I wear to this bar?" Tommy and Mike kept smiling and nudging each other as they walked into the little bar out in the middle of nowhere. It was just a small, square, not very attractive building. Smart's eyes probably bugged out again when he saw guys dancing, close, with other guys. Some had their heads together, faces into necks, and hands in each other's back pockets. Wow. An actual gay bar. Looked like his education was going to continue. He turned to the others and cracked up at their expressions. They were looking at him like he was going to get mad and maybe they should run. Not likely. He was all in for this. "Cool, guys. Let's get a table. I wanna watch. Why didn't you tell me this was where we were going?" 25

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"Thought you'd freak and back out, man. Didn't want to piss you off." Tommy led the way over to a table fairly close to the dance floor and they all sat. A cute guy in jeans and skintight t-shirt came over and got their orders. He gave Smart the eye as he left; Smart turned red. "Ooh, a conquest already. Go, Smart!" Mike laughed at Smart's blush. "Aw, come on, guys. He was only looking at me 'cause you all are obviously a couple," Smart laughed with them. It did make him feel nice though. Kind of warm and ... okay, horny. They sat and looked around and talked a little, but Smart was really into watching what was happening on the dance floor. Lord, it made him sweat. There was this one couple that could not keep their hands or their lips off each other. Like they should have been in a darker place somewhere. Then his eyes lit and held on a couple further back. They were moving slow, rubbing close together. The smaller man had his arms around his bigger partner and his hands were clenched in the big guy's shirt on both sides of his back like he was holding on for dear life. When they turned a little Smart could see they were in a very deep kiss. Eyes closed, mouths tight to each other and just swaying a little; occasionally he saw one guy's hips nudge the other a little harder. It was the small guy's hands, clenched so tightly around his partner, that turned him on like nobody's business.

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Mike laughed at his expression and started to sing, "It's gettin' hot in heah ... " and Tommy looked at Smart and chuckled. "Happy, dude? What'd you expect from this kind of bar?" "Hey, man; I had no expectations. But I can tell you I'd be happy to just sit here and soak it up a while." He knew he could watch that couple dance some more. He could get off on seeing the hands holding tightly to the other guy's shirt. It said so much to him. "This is my man, I'm not letting go." "Why don't you two go dance? I'll stay here and watch and be here when the food comes. Go on." He encouraged them to go out there where they could hold each other in peace. There was no arm-twisting involved. They were up like a shot and just melted into each other's arms. Mike's head found its home on Tommy's shoulder; burying his nose in Tommy's tanned neck. Tommy's hands went right round Mike, and he held on. They shuffled their feet to give the semblance of dancing—it was an excuse only. Smart thought that he couldn't get a sheet of paper between them. Their hips rubbed together and Mike put one hand on the back of Tommy's neck and sort of caressed him as they moved. Smart's eyes were just a little stingy as he saw how much they loved each other. A shadow came over him and he looked up to find the cute waiter standing there with a full tray. Smart stood. "Oh, here, let me help you with that. Looks pretty heavy there." He started helping take things off the tray and setting them around the table, knowing who had 27

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ordered what. Soon the tray was empty and they just stood a second, sort of awkwardly. "Sit, sit. I notice your friends are gone. They out there polishing their belt buckles?" he nodded to the dance floor. Smart chuckled. He'd never heard that expression but it sure seemed to fit. "Yep. Guess so." He sat and looked back up at the guy. "I'm Jeff. I have a break in about twenty minutes. Think you might be interested in a dance? Nothing grabby. Just a dance," he smiled and looked hopeful. There was no way Smart was turning that down. "Sure. Come and get me when you're free. Or you could sit with us for a few minutes," he offered in case Jeff would be more comfortable with the group. "Nope, me and you. Out there. Dance." Jeff sounded pretty sure of what he wanted. He went back to work and Smart nibbled on his fries as the song ended and Tommy and Mike made their way back to the table. They were both tenting the front of their jeans. "Damn, guys. Hope you can get up close enough to the table to eat with those things out there like that," He laughed as they both groaned as they sat down gingerly. "Shut up, Smarty. Your day will come." Mike stuffed a fry in his mouth and moaned. "Oh yes, fried food. God, I'm hungry." He gave Tommy a sly grin. "Worked up an appetite out there." "Yeah, you all were really tearing up the dance floor. You must have moved a whole eight inches form where you 28

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started. Eat up, boys." He couldn't help teasing them, they were so damned happy. They looked at each other and at the same time reached out from either side and each slapped a shoulder. "Ow!" Smart yelled, trying to smack their hands away. "Hey," he heard quietly over his left shoulder. He looked up and there was Jeff without his apron around his waist holding out his hand. "Well now, who's your friend, Smart?" Tommy said, with a little tease in his voice. "Tommy, Mike, this is Jeff. We're going to dance and maybe I can get him to sit with us a few minutes before he has to go back on duty." Smart got up and took Jeff's hand. It felt nice. Here he professed to be gay and he had never even held hands with another man. He squeezed a little and got a squeeze back in response. Jeff turned and pulled him in close—they were hips to hips and Jeff's thigh was in between his. Jeff used his leg to gently nudge Smart's erection and Smart couldn't help his delighted groan. He dropped his forehead to Jeff's shoulder and just started shuffling his feet like he had seen Tommy and Mike do. Jeff breathed in to his ear and said, "You feel really good." Jeff sniffed his neck. "You smell great. I know I said I wouldn't get grabby, but I'd give anything to kiss you right now." Smart almost came on the spot. He bit his lip and tried to hold on and not embarrass himself. "Hey now, quit that. I'm gonna have to administer first aid." Jeff pulled back, as if to check out Smart's lip. "No lip 29

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biting ... unless you let me and then it will just be a little nip or two, followed by a couple of licks and then..." "Stop. Jesus. I can't take you talking like that and rubbing up against me and you smell good, too." Smart realized he was panting. "I don't even know you, but I think I'd like to kiss you, too. Where?" Smart knew he was babbling again, but he had never dreamed how good this would feel and he didn't even know this guy. But he liked him. He seemed nice and sweet and equally horny. He smiled a little. "Oh, I think one on the neck, and then the lips and maybe one of those sweet nipples I can feel just there through our shirts..." he oofed as Smart squeezed him suddenly to stop his flow of words. "No, man, where?" Smart was getting desperate. Tommy and Mike would be rolling if they could see him now. Jeff sort of danced them back toward the bathroom area and then through a door into a storeroom. Jeff clicked the lock behind them and the next thing Smart knew, he was kissing another man. Oh my God. This is what he was made for. Jeff's lips were soft and knowing. He licked Smart's bottom lip and then the top one and Smart opened for him. Jeff smiled a little, then dove right in. His tongue took over and he swept it through Smart's mouth. It didn't take Smart long at all to join in and before long their breathing was hard and heavy. Smart thought he even might have whimpered once. Now that was manly. They finally came up for air and Smart put 30

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his mouth to Jeff's neck, licking at the salt there. "Mmm, nice." "Sweat?" "Salty, warm, sexy man." Smart took another lick and hummed a little. Jeff started moving his hips back and forth, rubbing their cocks together as his lips took Smart's again. Smart's fear of ruining his pants and having to walk out there in front of everyone had him pulling away a second. "What? I thought..." "Can't afford to come in my jeans. Messy. Can we...?" Shit, he didn't even know how to ask for what he wanted. "Jerk each other off? Yeah, man. S'what we're back here for. No time for anything else. Come on, shuck 'em." He started to undo his pants and Smart reached for his own. Together they pulled their cocks out and both smiled at the same time. They switched hands and it only took a couple of pulls from Jeff's hand to have Smart coming like never before. He had the presence of mind to keep his hand moving on Jeff's hard cock and then he, too, gave it up with a groan. They had turned and their come had shot harmlessly against some boxes lining the wall. Jeff reached into his back pocket and took out a couple of napkins and they cleaned up. Smart thought of something and finally figured out what was bothering him... "You do this often?" "You mean pick up guys and jerk them off back here? Like, am I a slut, you mean?" Jeff put himself back together and turned to go. 31

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Smart grabbed him and turn him back and put his arms around his shoulders a moment. "No. No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just ... this is the first time I've ever ... ever even kissed someone else and you just seem so ... easy ... Not easy like that, but easy with it, you know." Jeff was stiff for a few seconds then he relaxed and rubbed his cheek against Smart's. "One other time," he said falteringly. "It wasn't good like this. Didn't feel right." Jeff's breath was hot in Smart's ear. "You feel good. Let's go back out. I don't have much time. Don't want your buddies to find us and rag on you." "Oh, trust me, they will anyway, but I don't care." He didn't quite know what to say, so he went with, "Thank you. A lot, really. I totally enjoyed what we did and you are..." he waved his hand up and down, encompassing Jeff's whole body. "Come on." When they got back to the table, Tommy and Mike had scooted their chairs together. Mike's head was on Tommy's shoulder and Tommy was talking into his ear. Mike was nodding, and he put his hand up to cup the back of Tommy's head, his fingers moving in Tommy's hair. "Hey, guys." Smart waited for them to straighten up and look at Jeff and him. He motioned for Jeff to sit down with them and he complied for a few minutes. They talked about the club and life in general. Jeff was older than Smart had thought, but it didn't matter. He wouldn't see him again, he figured. Finally, Jeff got up to go back to work, his hand lingering on Smart's shoulder a moment. Smart looked up at him and 32

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Jeff leaned down for a quick kiss with just a little tongue swiping across his bottom lip. "Stay sweet," Jeff said and went back to the bar. "Whoo. Looks like Smart got lucky. It should happen to us, huh, baby?" Tommy said, laughing at the bemused look on Smart's face as he watched Jeff back at work. "How about you all dance again, get all horny, we leave, you find us a back road, and park, and I'll take a walk in the dark and you all can get busy in the truck? Sound like a plan?" He knew they would like it and he didn't mind at all. Not at all. He had a lot to think about.

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Chapter Four Good Lord, it was almost Christmas time. Smart had gotten into the swing of things and was looking forward to the holidays. He had promised his parents he would come home, but was only going to be there for a few days and then he planned on meeting up with Tommy and Mike at the ranch. They planned on ringing in the New Year together. They all were really close. He felt like Tommy was his older brother and Mike was a younger one. Mike just seemed so much younger than he was. Of course, they were all about the same age, close to twenty, but Mike just seemed so much more ... well, sweet, vulnerable, needy sometimes. Smart and Tommy both just wanted to take care of him. He knew it, though, and it bugged the shit out of him. He fussed if he thought they were doing anything to protect him or show him special treatment. "What am I, a fucking baby? Do you all have to hover over me like that all the time? What do you think I'm going to do?" He was ticked this time because Tommy didn't want him to walk home by himself after a late class. Tommy had planned to pick him up but found he had to do something for his dad at one of the local stores before it closed. Smart was working 'til about two hours after Mike's last class. Hence, the argument over him walking home to his parents' house, late and alone. Smart had suggested he come to the library and study 'til he got off then he could just come back to the room. 34

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Mike had already told his parents he would be there that night and they would expect him and cause a stink if he stayed at the dorm another night without, in their mind, a good reason. They had all become quite adept at coming up with reasons for Mike having to stay over, but they had pushed it lately and his parents were balking and raising a stink about Tommy and now Smart, too. "You call me on my cell when you get there, you hear me? I don't care how mad you are that I care so much about you, but I worry. I have to know you're all right. You're my life, baby," Tommy said. He stood and looked at Mike with love and concern and, of course, Mike just melted right into his arms. Smart turned and gave them a moment to make up and then they eventually all headed out to work, class, and errands. It was about an hour and a half after Mike should have left for home and Smart was a little worried. He tried to call Mike's cell and got no answer. He tried Tommy's and got really scared. "What? Where are you, baby? Why didn't you call? Mike? Mike! Answer me..." Tommy's voice vibrated with fear. "Nah, man, it's me, Smart. I was worried when I didn't hear from Mike. He didn't promise to call me, but I thought he might. You haven't heard anything yet?" Smart began to shake a little just thinking something might be wrong. "No. I ... I'm going to call his house. I know they hate me but I have to know that he's okay." Tommy hung up without saying good-bye. 35

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Within seconds he had called back and his voice was shaking, "No one answered, Smart. Something is wrong. Hell, they never leave the damned house. No one answered the damn phone. Where the fuck is Mike? What do I do?" "Come get me. I'm checking out early. We'll go find him. We will. Find him, I mean. Come on, get here now." Smart was checked out and waiting when Tommy pulled up in his little old pickup. He slammed in the door and said, "Go. Let's start where his class was and follow the way he would go home and if we don't find out something we'll start checking friends and go by his house and if we have to we'll start calling hospitals." They looked at each other a moment and then Tommy said, "I'm glad you're here." They were headed down a side street about two blocks past the building where Mike's class was when he saw a dog sitting by a bundle on the ground by a fence. "Tommy, stop. See that? Look at that dog." "Dog? Hell, I don't care about a dog. Let's keep looking ... what? What are you doing?" Smart had opened the door so he had to slow down and then stop and Smart was running to the dog and then he turned and yelled at Tommy, panicked. "Call 911. Now! It's Mike. Do it, Tommy. Call. Do you have a blanket or something in the truck? Bring it. Hurry!" He walked slowly to the dog and stopped when it growled at him and stood up menacingly. He stood still and began to talk in a soft voice. "Hey there. It's okay. He's my friend. Have you been taking care of him?" 36

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The dog kept growling and Smart wasn't about to get closer and have a bigger problem. He kept talking, "Thanks, fella. Can I come closer? I have to see if he's okay? Please..." He heard Tommy running up and put his hand up to slow him down. Tommy stopped, looking at Smart. "I think he's been protecting Mike. He won't let us near him. But he doesn't seem to be sick or rabid or anything. He was just sitting there like he was on watch or something." They heard a whimper and they both turned to Mike and instinctively took steps toward him. The dog growled again, took a step toward them, and they stopped again. Tommy said, "Fuck this. You handle the dog. I've gotta see about Mike." He kept going toward Mike, slowly. He was determined, but not stupid. Smart was anxious to see Mike, too, but didn't want either of them bitten or worse by this dog. He put his hand down and tried talking to the dog again. "Come on, fella. We love him. We won't hurt him. We've got help coming and we just want to take care of him." He eased his way toward the three on the ground. The dog was barking and moving around Mike and Tommy, growls thrown in for good measure. He could see Tommy, very gently moving his hands over Mike. He heard a groan and could hear Tommy cursing a steady stream under his breath. He had to get closer. "Shh. Shh now. Let me help, okay? Here," bravely he put out his hand to the dog and the growling stopped. The animal hesitantly moved up a little and sniffed his hand, then licked his fingers and whined a little. 37

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"Good boy. That's the way. We're his friends. Now we're your friends. Let me see about Mike now, okay?" He hunkered down and rubbed the dog's head and looked for a collar, finding none. A stray? He edged closer to Tommy and Mike and nearly cried out when he saw Mike's face. He had been cut and was bleeding a lot and his arm looked, just wrong. His hand was all crushed and bleeding, too. He couldn't see anything else, but knew there was probably more. He looked at Tommy. Tears were streaming down his face and he was shaking so hard he could barely stay upright. His voice trembled as he bent over Mike. "Mike? Baby? Can you hear me? It's your Tommy. I'm here and I'm going to take care of you. We're going to get you to a hospital and you're going to be fine." He took a deep breath. "Come on, hold on for ... for me." He was pleading now. "Please baby, don't leave me. I can't take this. I can't. I need you." Smart knew it was so true. Mike was vital to Tommy's life. Hell, Mike was his life. "Damn it, where are they? It's cold out here. He needs help. Smart, I'm afraid to move him at all. Look at his arm, his face, hands, oh God, what happened? Who did this?" Smart could see that Tommy was almost dizzy, moving from fear to anger to curiosity and back to fear for Mike. "Mike, come on, open your eyes. Open your pretty eyes for me. Can you do that? I need to see those blue eyes." All of a sudden Mike's eyes opened wide and he stared right at them, but didn't really see them, and said in a small tired voice, "Not pretty no more he said." 38

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Tommy looked stunned. Smart looked back and forth from Mike to Tommy in shock. Someone did this to Mike and told him he wouldn't be pretty any more. Oh God. Mike closed his eyes again and seemed to sag. He whimpered again and as they heard the sirens, Tommy just crumpled on the ground next to Mike and cried. Great sobs of fear and shock. There was relief that they had found him and anger that this was done to him. Trucks with flashing lights pulled up and they heard footsteps running their way. Smart held onto the dog, who was getting agitated again. They were pushed out of the way as paramedics set up to do their thing. Smart started telling them what he could. Tommy finally drew himself up and said, "He's Mike Donaldson. He's my boyfriend. Someone beat him up and cut him and told him he wouldn't be pretty any more. What do you need to know?" His voice got stronger; he was doing something to help Mike. "His blood type is AB negative and he is not allergic to anything. He's clean. Doesn't drink, do drugs, or anything. He's the most important thing in the world to me." Tommy's voice shook. "Please go easy with him. Take care of him." "Where are you taking him? Can I go with you? He'll need me if he wakes up again. He will." Tommy was begging, trying to make them understand how important it was that he be with Mike, and Smart stood behind him in support. Tommy listened to their questions and said, "Yes, he woke up for a second and told us just that someone told him he 39

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wouldn't be pretty any more. I'll never forget that. Smart, can you think of anything else?" Smart was so proud of Tommy. He shook his head. He could barely speak and Tommy had just stood up and filled them in like he was reporting the news. That, right after breaking down completely. You never knew about people. "Nah, man. That's it." "You'll have to follow us there. We need to work on him. Uh ... we'll take care of him." One of the EMTs tried to reassure him, while the other broke in and said, "We're going to Med Central. You guys want to file a report with the police?" Tommy and Smart looked at each other and it was a Tommy/Mike moment because they both looked over and said at the same time, "Hell, yes!" A cruiser pulled up just as they got Mike onto a stretcher and Tommy leaned down to put his hand on Mike's head. "I love you, baby. Hang in there, I'll be there in a minute." They rolled him toward the ambulance and Tommy and Smart faced the approaching policemen. "What happened here, boys? You get in a fight?" the tall thin one said in a snide voice. Smart didn't like him right off the bat, but he was ... smart. "No, sir. We couldn't find our friend so we went looking and found him here. Someone beat him up and cut him pretty badly." Smart knew to be nice and respectful to the people in authority. 40

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"So. It wasn't neither one of you then, huh?" The thinner man said. The other officer sort of rolled his eyes and stepped up to Smart. "They don't look like they've been in a fight, especially a knife fight, Doug. No bruises, no blood. Just worried about their friend. I think we can believe them." Smart could read this officer's name. "Thanks, Officer Brannon. We're really worried about our friend, but we do want something done. Someone did this to Mike. He woke up once and told us someone told him he wouldn't be pretty any more." That still hurt Smart, that someone hurt Mike so badly and delighted in trying to make him unattractive. "Mike was good looking," he paused for a shaky breath and forced himself to continue "...is good looking. I think this will probably fall under gay bashing. Someone had it in for him." "So, he was a faggot? You sure? Well, of course you are, if you are his friends..." the other officer stepped back and his hand went to his gun as Tommy advanced on him. "Easy, Tommy. Don't make a mistake. We have to go see about Mike." Smart said, though he wanted to back him up and pound on the guy. "For your information, I am sure because I'm his lover. He's my boyfriend. You got a problem with that? It's not against the law is it?" Tommy was furious. "No, punk. But assaulting an officer is." "I never touched you. And I wouldn't." Tommy said. Smart reached out and took his arm and drew him back. Tommy 41

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turned and for a second put his head down on Smart's shoulder. "What is it, a 'ménage a threesome' or whatever they call it? Thought you were with the other guy," The rude officer kept needling Tommy. Tommy snorted into Smart's shoulder. "We keep getting accused of that." Smart patted him and turned to Officer Brannon. "Can we come down and file a report tomorrow? We want to get to the hospital and we have to find his parents and we really saw nothing so there isn't anything we can do now." He had a sudden thought and pointed to the scruffy dog. "Oh. I don't know about this dog. He was just sort of sitting by Mike when we got here. I don't know what to do with him. He doesn't have a collar or anything." Both officers spoke at once. Officer Brannon said, "Yeah, go on. We'll look around and come by the hospital later. We'll check about the dog, too." while the other officer was saying, "I think we ought to take you both in now and clean up the streets." Officer Brannon rolled his eyes again and took the other man's arm and led him to where Mike had lain. Smart and Tommy took off for the truck and decided to do a quick run to Mike's house a few blocks over on the way to see if his parents were home. Smart dreaded the scene he knew was coming. All of their arguments would seem justified now. They really had it coming. But it had to be done. They got to Mike's house just as his parents were pulling in the driveway and getting out. Smart and Tommy looked at 42

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each other and took a deep breath as Smart got out of the truck and ran over to them. "I hate to tell you this, but Mike has been hurt. They've taken him to Med Central. We don't know anything other than he was beaten up and cut up pretty badly by someone. We're going there now. I'm sorry." Smart headed back to the truck and Tommy peeled out and headed to the hospital. Smart laid his head against the window and closed his eyes, shaking again as it settled in on him—the violence and the fear and the shock of seeing Mike like that. "Hey, whatcha doin'?" Tommy asked, a little shaky himself. "Falling apart, praying. Gotta get it together before we get there. It's going to be hard. We'll have to fight to get to see him. You know his parents are going to blame us, and want to keep us away from him." Smart hated scenes, but Mike was more important than anything right now. "Mike will be so scared. God, he looked so broken and so hurt and so..." he trailed off as he heard a sob from Tommy and he reached over and patted him on the shoulder. "Shut up, man," Tommy said. "Just shut up. I can't do this if you don't hold it together for us both. Screw his parents. No one is keeping me from him." There was fierceness in his voice now, then pain. "And I will never ever ever forget how he looked. Thank you for helping me, and especially with that dog. Man, wasn't that weird?" He shook his head, as if giving a second's thought to the dog sitting over Mike's body. "Here we are, suck it up now and let's go take care of Mike. My Mike. Oh God. Here goes." They got out and went 43

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in, looking for their friend and lover.

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Chapter Five Smart went straight to the desk in Emergency and asked about Mike Donaldson. Of course he had to answer if he was kin to him and before he could explain who he was, Tommy was there, saying, "Please, where is he? I have to see him. He'll need me." Smart could tell that Tommy was shaking again, on the way to losing it if he didn't get to see Mike soon. "Are you Tommy?" a nurse came up and asked as she saw the two of them at the desk. "Yes! Where is he? Is he all right? Can I see him?" Tommy almost grabbed her arms as if to shake the information out of her. "He's back here. Jeanette, I've got this. He's been asking for this guy and won't let anyone do anything for him, and believe me, he needs help. It's good you're here. Come on." The relief warring with fear on Tommy's face was hard to watch. "Go, man, I'll stay here and do what I can. Take care of your Mike." Tommy took one second to touch Smart's shoulder then he was leading the nurse back into the section she came from. Smart was still standing there when Mike's parents came in. Mr. Donaldson was loud and angry. He wanted to know what happened and he wanted to see his son right now. Jeanette was trying her best to keep order and Smart didn't feel like he should butt in, that it would only make things worse. 45

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Finally, when Mike's dad started shouting about Tommy and others like him and how they had ruined his son and he would see justice done for this and they better stay away from his boy, Smart just walked up and said to his face. "Listen, Mike's in really bad shape and he wouldn't even let anyone work on him 'til Tommy got here. He asked only for him. Face it. He needs Tommy. They need each other. I'm sorry you can't handle it, but it's a fact and they're happy together." Smart didn't know if he was doing any good or not, but he was hoping to take the brunt of this and give the others a break. "Making a scene is not going to help anything. If you want to see your son, you're going to have to suck it up and let go of this anger or he will probably refuse to see you. You should be more worried about what happened to him and how he is than who is with him and helping him now." Smart tried to keep his voice level despite his own building anger. For about a second Mr. Donaldson looked at him in surprise and then he started for Smart. "Why you ... you ... you're one of them. How dare you tell me how to handle my son? Who the hell do you think..." He stopped when his wife laid hand on his shoulder and spoke softly. "Richard, please. I can't take any more. I'm scared for Mikey. Please stop yelling and let's find out what happened. Young man, can you tell us anything?" she looked imploringly at Smart, tears in her eyes. "He was walking home from a late class. We wanted him to stay on campus tonight but he was afraid of your anger so he insisted on going on." He had just a moment of intense anger 46

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that their hatred and insistence that Mike come home had been part of this. "We tried to get him to wait 'til one of us could bring him, but we both had work and obligations and he didn't like us babying him. God, I wish he had listened to us." Mrs. Donaldson put her hand up to her mouth and tears finally made their way down her cheeks. Smart led her over to a chair and helped her into it. He didn't care about Mr. Donaldson. He could join them and listen or not, didn't matter. He would address his information to the one who seemed to care more about Mike himself than what he was. "Ma'am, all we know is that someone jumped him. He must have gone out the back of the building, closer to the way to your house. We don't know who or how many. All he was able to say was that they told him he wouldn't be pretty any more." Sobs burst from Mrs. Donaldson and before Smart could put his arm around her, her husband was there. She turned her face into his shoulder and cried. "My boy, my beautiful baby boy. What's going to happen to him?" Mr. Donaldson looked accusingly at Smart, like he had caused her misery, but Smart just looked back. They all jumped up as the same nurse came back. "Smart? Are you Smart? That sounds funny, but they said it was your name and they both want to talk to you. Can you..." "Hey, what about us? Can't we see him? We're his parents. We should be allowed to..." Mr. Donaldson looked like he was winding up to another tantrum. 47

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"I'm sorry. He's barely able to talk and is in critical condition. He will need a couple of surgeries, I think. He and Tommy both want Smart there for a minute, though. He'll be back out in a bit, I'm sure." Smart was anxious to see Mike and scared at the same time. He followed the nurse and asked quietly, "Is there anything I should know?" "No, hon, I think it's gonna be pretty clear." She sounded sad. Smart looked at her questioningly and headed into the cubicle where Mike was. First he saw Tommy standing by the bed, holding Mike's one good hand, with tears streaming down his face. One of the techs saw Smart enter and came over to him. Smart noticed his name was Alex and waited to hear why he was here. "They both want you to see the whole picture. We have documented this completely and Mike is going up for x-rays and will probably have at least two surgeries in the next few days. But they wanted you to see." Smart nodded. When they got to the bed the tech pulled back the sheet and Smart's knees nearly buckled. There didn't seem to be a place on Mike's body that wasn't dark red, dark blue, scratched, or bleeding. Head to feet. There were bruises on his arms and legs and the worst were on his torso. One big dark bruise was low on his abdomen, near his groin. At a nod from the doctor, they reached out and gently turned him and Smart could see that 48

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his back and legs were the same, covered with bruising and swelling. He didn't know that tears were running down his face, too. He started shaking and anger welled up in him so strong he thought he would choke on it. He reached out to Tommy and they held hands and just squeezed. Tommy looked at him and whispered, "Not now." Smart nodded, and tried like hell to tamp down his anger. He took deep breaths. He looked at the tech that had first talked to him. Alex. "Has he been awake again? Can he hear us? Can we talk to him? I mean I know he has, he asked for Tommy, but..." he rubbed his arm across his face to clear his vision a little and saw empathy in Alex's face. "He held on long enough to see Tommy. Man, they have a connection, don't they?" Alex smiled a little. "We had to take pictures for the police and Mike woke up once then and said, 'Show Smart', so when Tommy agreed we sent for you. Can I talk to you in the hall?" Smart nodded and went to the top of the stretcher Mike was on. He leaned down and kissed the one spot he could find on his forehead that wasn't black and blue or bloody and swollen and then put both arms around Tommy for a second. Tommy let go of Mike's hand for a second and held on tight to Smart and just shook. "I don't know what to do for him..." he said. "You're doing it. He knows you're here. He knows you love him. We'll get him through this. Be strong for him. Just keep talking to him. You and I will fall apart later." Tommy nodded at Smart's words and let him go. 49

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Smart followed Alex into the hallway and looked at him questioningly. "You a threesome?" Alex asked quietly. Smart almost worked up a smile. "No, man. They are very exclusive. I'm just a friend." Smart had to wonder at the misconception—it was starting to get silly. "They're basically two halves of a whole. Sometimes they communicate without words at all. It's amazing. Someday I want that." "I know what you mean. They're something." Smart's eyebrows went up. Well, now. "What did you want to see me about?" he asked Alex. "We don't usually allow anyone in when we are working on someone, but he becomes so agitated when Tommy isn't there and so calm when he is that we're allowing it. I need to tell you, it is going to be really hard and a really long recovery, but he should be all right, eventually." There was compassion in his voice as he continued. Smart liked Alex's voice. "He will need help, both physically and mentally. The damage and the hatred and violence behind it will really mess with his mind." Alex looked straight into Smart's eyes. "He should heal, but his right hand will be nearly dysfunctional for a long time. He is looking at a lot of rehab." Smart looked up and smiled just a little. "You're right, it was his right hand. Mike is left-handed. He does his drawing and designing with his left hand. That is the only good thing I have heard tonight." "Great. That will help him some. Can you be the liaison with the parents? The police? The university? We need 50

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someone to contact with questions and information and I don't know about Tommy right now. We asked Mike if he wanted to see his parents and he freaked out and barely managed to tell us only Tommy. So, I figure there is some kind of problem there." Alex looked to Smart for verification. "Oh, yeah. They hate what he is. They blame Tommy and now me, too. Like we turned him, you know. Anyway, they are out there and yes, I'll go talk to them." He spared a thought for how really fun that would be. "Tommy will be handling most of this with Mike when he gets his feet back under him. I'll talk to the police, too, for now. Thanks, Alex. You've been great. It is nice that you don't seem to judge, but seem ready to help." "First, it's my job. Second, I can't judge against something I am. And third, I want to go out and beat someone up just having seen what they did to him ... No one deserves that." Smart could see he was sincere. He liked this guy. He took a second to notice him for real. About the same height as Smart and really nice eyes, almost as blue as Mike's. Hair a little darker, but still blond. But lips. Oh, man. Would he love to get a chance to ... Whoa. Bad timing. Alex was looking at him, too. "You in a relationship?" "Nope." "Maybe sometime ... when this is sort of settled a little, I can call you for personal reasons instead of business ones? My last name is Carson. Alex Carson. I'm in the book if you need to find me sometime." He looked hopeful.

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"Definitely. Now go take care of my friends. I'll go brave the parents and maybe the police will be here now. I hope that jerk of a cop isn't here." "Ooh. Tall, thin; hates gays; real nasty attitude?" Alex seemed to have met him before. "Yeah. That's him." "Avoid him, man. He's a bad one. I've had a couple of runins with him myself just for how he treats people they bring in here." He went back into Mike's cubicle shaking his head. Smart headed out to see what kind of help he could be with the parents and the police. Luckily, Officer Brannon was the only one waiting for him and his relief was evident. Brannon smiled, and said, "I know. I sent him to see about getting the dog into the humane society for the night. Figured you had enough on your mind without having to deal with bigotry, too." "Thanks, man. I appreciate it." "Do you have any idea who might have done this, uh ... son? "Yeah, any ideas?" Mr. Donaldson chimed in. "You boys pissed somebody off and they took it out on our Mikey?" "We haven't pissed anybody off except you and that other officer, and that's just because all of you are bigots. Here is the only thing I know and it's not much." He went on to tell them the story of how the three boys met and how his roommate came in and went ballistic and started spouting off obscenities and threats in general, but none specifically. "I have no idea if he did it or not. I haven't even seen him since that day. Which is odd, we do live in the same dorm, 52

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but we've just gone about our business and not given him another thought. Maybe because our room is by an exit and we usually use that; it's on the other end of the dorm." Frankly, when he thought about it, he was glad they hadn't seen him. But, he had no idea if he was responsible for this and didn't want to piss the guy off if he was innocent. "I don't even know his name, but his room is 405 where Tommy used to be before he moved in with me. Again, I'm not accusing him. He is just the only person I have met who knows us all and hates us for no real reason. Might be a starting point." He hoped they found who did this to Mike. He felt so helpless and his heart hurt for both his friends.

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Chapter Six Smart wanted just a minute to himself. Just one. He could maybe use a minute with Tommy. He just needed to get away from Mike's parents who kept looking at him like he had AIDS and was going to infect them just by being in the same room. He understood that they were hurt and upset that Mike had refused to see them, but he also knew Mike needed Tommy right now so his allegiance was with Mike on that one. At one point, Alex had come to the door and motioned him over, taking him into the hallway again for a second. "Tommy needs you to call his dad and explain it to him. Mike has gone to x-ray and will be back up soon. Then they'll put him in a more comfortable bed and we'll be calling in some specialists." He noticed Smart was looking a little overwhelmed, so he filled him in. "His arm is broken, too. But that will be another surgery. The hand one will be the biggest. The cuts on the face ... the two on his cheeks are not as deep as the one on his forehead. It will leave a worse scar because it goes down, not across. Uh, how you holding up? You look like you need a hug," Alex smiled as he put his hand on Smart's shoulder and squeezed, being silently supportive. Smart dropped his head. "You have no idea," he whispered. "Come 'mere," Alex said and then he had Smart in his arms and Smart nearly lost it completely. He was just so tired and so scared and it was hard being the one with the answers when he didn't really know anything. 54

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He just held on a moment. It was not sexual at all, just compassionate. Then he got embarrassed and pulled back, looking into Alex's face, that was really close to his for a second. "Thanks. I'm sorry. I'm usually not..." "Hey. Don't even think about being embarrassed. Allow yourself to need just a little. I selfishly enjoyed being able to hold you for a second. If I helped, cool." Alex's eyes just beamed like lasers right into his and he was suddenly lighter. He could handle things now. He didn't know what it was about that short hug from a virtual stranger, but he felt better. He took a chance and put his hand out, hesitantly, and then drew it back. When Alex looked at him encouragingly, he reached out again and put his palm to Alex's face and just held it there for a moment. "Thanks." He smiled a little and thought he had just touched a little bit of heaven. Alex smiled back and with a quick wink he turned his head and licked a swipe up Smart's palm. Okay, now that was downright sexual. Smart groaned and pulled his hand back. Alex looked nervous for a second like maybe he had really overstepped and misunderstood. Then when Smart put his hand up to his face and licked the same spot, Alex laughed out loud and put his hand up. They quietly high-fived each other and went back to their separate chores. Smart sat across from the silent, accusing Donaldsons and dialed Tommy's dad's number on his cell. When Mr. Hardcastle came on Smart almost lost it again. "Mr. Hardcastle, sir, this is Smart. I..." 55

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"Is something wrong with Tommy? What's wrong, Smart? Tell me, now. I can handle it. Just let me have it." Smart loved that man. "No, sir. It's not Tommy. It's Mike. Someone beat him up really bad. We're at the hospital and Mike's in critical condition and Tommy won't leave him and Mike's parents are here and they're mad and I could really use some help here. I'm sorry to ask, but..." "You tell me where and I'm there. Mike is like my own son. What happened ... no ... no ... I'll find out when I get there." Mitch's voice was strong in Smart's ear. "You just hang on, boy. I'll be there to help take the load in a couple hours. Anything I can bring you boys?" "You might bring a set of clothes for Tommy. I don't think he's leaving here any time soon and I can't leave either 'til I know more about Mike and it is just so horrible and scary and..." Smart trailed off as tears threatened again. "Relax, Smart. I know you're the one that's been holding it all together. Rest a while. I'll be there." He hung up and Smart just dropped his head. He sat with his hands between his knees and his head hanging. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Mrs. Donaldson. "Thank you. I know you think we are awful, but it is just so hard to accept..." "You know. I am sorry for your pain. But I can't help how you feel. I haven't even told my parents I'm gay and I don't even have a boyfriend. I don't want to deal with having them act like you two." He looked at them in awe. 56

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"How can you push your son away? I have never known anyone like Mike. He is the sweetest, nicest, most talented, special guy I've ever known. He is so funny, and smart and giving and loving." He took a breath and went on, venting a little. "How can you continually make his life miserable by not accepting how he is? Not how he wants to be or chooses to be, but how he is. You think he would choose a life that separates him from his family? He loves with such fierceness and such purity that it is just awe inspiring and you condemn him for it. I just don't get it. Sorry." He stood and walked over to the window to look out into the night. He probably should have kept his mouth shut. It wasn't his place to preach the gospel of the gay life to Mike's parents. He just hated that there was such dissention in the whole situation. He wished everyone could rally around and have the same goal. They should be thinking of getting Mike well and back on track. Whatever. He'd just have to deal with what was. He figured they'd all have to deal with what was. "Smart, did that guy tell you something new?" Her voice was hesitant, quiet. "God, yes, I'm sorry. He said they had taken Mike for xrays and that his arm was broken and his right hand was crushed and both would need surgery. There were three main cuts on his face with the one on his forehead being the worst." He hated thinking about Mike's poor face. Damn, this was hard. 57

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"The rest of his body is covered in bruises and swellings and cuts and scratches. That's all I know. Alex said when he got back they would put him in a more comfortable bed before they started the actual work on him. They've called in specialists to work on his hand and face. I hope you'll be there for him. He doesn't need to be hassled now, of all times." Smart knew how their disapproval hurt Mike. He was afraid they would try to use this time to prove their point. "You think I won't take care of my boy? Who the hell do you think you are?" Mr. Donaldson started for Smart again. "Who am I? I'm the one who listens and commiserates when he's upset because he can't have you and Tommy, too. When he's hurt because you refuse to allow Tommy into your house. His life is so torn because you can't accept him as he is. His voice was filled with righteous indignation. "Just don't you worry. I take care of my own." Mr. Donaldson sat back down, shaking his head, obviously upset that he was explaining himself to Smart. Smart let it go. He was just glad that Mike would be taken care of in the long run. Time passed slowly in the waiting room. It was amazing to him that there were no other people there. Good, though. He couldn't handle it if there were witnesses to the ugliness going on. So he sat. And he walked and paced. He asked the Donaldsons if they wanted anything from the concession area. He suggested they go and get some coffee. He would let them know if anything changed. They ignored him. Fine. 58

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He sat and was too antsy to remain still. Up again and around the room and back down and up again and he was making a circuit of the room when the door opened and there was Mr. Hardcastle. He had two bags with him. One was steaming and had food and drinks from McDonald's and the other he figured was clothes for Tommy. Smart just stood still and stared at Tommy's dad. Mr. Hardcastle set the bags down on two chairs and went right to Smart and took him into a hug. Smart did lose it then. He knew it was all right. He just sobbed into that big shoulder and tried to talk. "He looks so bad and he's ... he's so hurt ... and they took pictures ... and the police came and ... and it's broken and all crushed and there's bruises everywhere and he's got to have two surgeries ... and he ... he just ... he..." He trailed off and just stood shaking in the big man's arms like he was a kid again. "It's okay. Take a deep breath. I know they're both glad you were here for them. I know I am. Come on now. Come tell me about it. What happened?" He looked at the couple on the couch. "Hello, I'm Mitch Hardcastle, Tommy's dad. I'm sorry to hear about your son's injuries." He reached out to shake Mr. Donaldson's hand and looked at Smart with surprise when Mr. Donaldson didn't offer his hand or even speak to him. Smart just shrugged his shoulders. Smart and Mr. Hardcastle sat down together and Smart filled him in on everything he knew, going all the way back to when they had argued about Mike walking home alone. How he hadn't wanted to be treated like a baby. He ended with the 59

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last news from Alex. Mr. Hardcastle was even a little tearyeyed when Smart finished. "Anything you boys need. Anything. For now. I'm just here to wait with you. I brought burgers, fries, cokes, coffee, and those apple pies that Tommy likes so much. Dig in, you all. There is plenty. You have to keep your strength up." "Don't want anything from you," Mr. Donaldson said, belligerently. "Fine. Ma'am, you feel the same way or could you use some coffee?" he offered quietly. Mrs. Donaldson started to stand up but her husband's hand quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her right back down. Mr. Hardcastle was up in a heartbeat. "Man, I don't know what your problem is, but..." "You're wasting your time, sir. I tried, but they just can't get over it." Mr. Donaldson sneered at Mr. Hardcastle. "If it wasn't for your boy, Tommy, Mike wouldn't..." "Shit, man. If it wasn't for my boy, Tommy, Mike would be with someone else, you idiot. At least with Tommy he has someone good. Someone who loves him and will never let him down. You better get your shit together or you will lose your son completely." Mitch looked at them in disbelief. "I can't believe it's okay with you that your son is like that. How can you stand thinking about them together? What kind of man are you that you encourage their behavior?" Mr. Donaldson didn't drop the sneer. "They're not children. They don't have to ask me who or how to love. I wouldn't tell him what girl to pick if he was 60

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heterosexual, so how can I presume to tell him who to love as a homosexual? He loves who he loves and let me tell you, he loves well." Smart thought about the obvious devotion between the two young men, and knew that Mr. Hardcastle did, too. "He shows more care and devotion to Mike than most marriages I've seen. I think they are special together. I love Mike like another son. He is a wonderful young man. Anyone would be proud of him. I'm sorry you are so close-minded that you can't get past your old notions and see the situation for what it is." The rest of the night seemed interminable. Smart thought he would lose his mind. He wanted to be back there with Tommy and Mike and he wanted to be able to help more. He and Mr. Hardcastle had a little to eat and drink and both thought it was ridiculous that the Donaldsons refused anything. Fine. Toward dawn, Alex came back to the door. He motioned for Smart to come over. They went into the hallway again and Smart's heart jumped just a little when he looked into Alex's tired eyes. "Okay. Here it is. You're going to have to help me here. Mike is going in and out. Tommy has barely let go of his hand. They just look at each other and it makes me both happy and sad to watch them. Tommy told Mike he needs to let his parents come back there, but Mike says not if Tommy has to leave." He shook his head, and Smart could tell that Alex hated that Mike and Tommy had to deal with all this as 61

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well as the pain, anger, and fear from the assault, knew Alex hated it as much as he did. "I need to know if there is going to be a problem if Mike's parents come in and Tommy is there holding Mike's hand. As low as Mike is right now we don't think it would be a good idea to upset him. What are your thoughts?" Alex touched his arm. Smart thought for a minute and then said, "I have an idea. Tommy's dad is here. He brought food and clothes for Tommy. What if I came in and held Mike's hand while his parents came in? They know we're not together and Mike should be able to handle it if he knows Tommy is seeing his dad just for a few minutes." Alex's eyes lit up. "I see how you got your name, dude. Good idea. Wanna come pitch it to them?" Unselfconsciously he took Smart's hand and led him to the cubicle where Tommy and Mike were. Smart only had a few seconds to enjoy holding onto that hand. He dropped it as they got to the door and they shared a quick look before Alex spoke up. "Look who's here, guys. Smart has a plan." Alex proceeded to explain the plan and Mike was agreeable. He nodded and Tommy leaned down and gently touched his lips and they just looked at each other a moment and nodded together. Tommy reached out for Smart's hand and put it in Mike's. It was a little frosty at the door when Mike's parents passed Tommy, but they came over to the bed and though they looked at Smart and Mike's hands they kept their mouth shut. Mrs. Donaldson cried when she saw Mike and Mr. Donaldson cleared his throat a couple of times and said to 62

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Mike. "We're here, Mike, and we will see you through this. Don't worry about anything but getting well now, okay boy?" Mike's tears made paths down his cheeks across the cuts and Alex was there to catch them with a little gauze, knowing it would sting like hell. Mike said, "Thanks, Dad. Mom, don't cry. I'll be okay. But ... but I have to have Tommy here. I can't get through this without him. I ... I need ... need him ... so much ... and..." His tears were coming faster and his voice was losing strength and his eyes closed against the pain of what he felt and what he was afraid of. Smart looked at them with a frown on his face and dared them to deny their son the one thing he needed right now. "Fine." Mike's dad sounded resigned. "Relax now and don't get upset or they'll throw us out. I won't keep Tommy away from you. I won't ever like it or understand it, but I can't hurt you any more." Mike's eyes opened. "Oh, God. Dad? I ... thanks. I'll be okay. Smart, will you tell Tommy I'm okay and he can stay with his dad if he wants to? I'm ... okay." Smart nodded and leaned down and patted Mike's shoulder a little. Smart was proud of the Donaldsons, but he knew Tommy would be back in as soon as Smart went out. When he stepped out into the hall Alex was there waiting for him. "Dude, you are smart. I'm impressed. How did you manage that change in them?" Alex punched him lightly on the arm as they walked back to the waiting room. Before they 63

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went through the door they stopped and looked at each other. "It was probably a combination of me, Tommy's dad, and Mike's obvious need. They just caved." "I'll be here again tonight. I'll probably see you then. Anything I can do for you today?" Smart was so grateful for Alex's support. "Nah, but thanks. You've helped more than you know. I was pretty lost there for a while. You pulled me through a tough time. I ... I look forward to seeing you again tonight. I like you. I mean I'd like to get to know you more." Smart looked at the floor, embarrassed. "Same here," Alex said. He put his hand up and curled it around behind Smart's neck and rubbed it, massaging some of the tightness out of it. Smart groaned and dropped his head a little and soaked up the sensations. They heard footsteps and Alex dropped his hand. They separated and went on into the waiting room. Tommy looked over and jumped up when he saw Smart had left Mike alone with his parents. Smart related what had happened and Tommy and Mitch both looked relieved, but nevertheless, Tommy headed back into the room with Mike. **** When Tommy got back to Mike's side, he looked up, daringly, at the faces of Mike's parents. "Is it true? I can stay with him? You're not going to keep us apart any more? Cause I got to tell you, I'm not leaving him. He needs me and I can't be anywhere else. If it's true, I ... thank you." 64

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"We're going home. We're too old for this all night stuff. And we know he is going to have someone with him." Mr. Donaldson suddenly looked old and defeated. "Call us if there is any change. We'll be back later today otherwise." "Oh, God, thank you so much. This will mean more to Mike than I can ever tell you. He loves you both," Tommy could be gracious now that he knew he could be with Mike with no more hassles from them. Mr. Donaldson touched Mike's shoulder and his mother leaned down to kiss that same spot on his forehead that didn't look hurt. She even touched Tommy's shoulder on her way out. Good Lord, would wonders never cease?

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Chapter Seven Smart and Mr. Hardcastle waited throughout the day. Medical professionals came and went, giving them minimal information. Mike's face was taken care of and they were told the cuts on his cheeks would probably not be too bad, but the one on his forehead would and they could talk about cosmetic surgery later. His arm was set and they were waiting for the specialist to get there to see what could be done with the poor, crushed fingers of his right hand. They had given him strong pain meds and he was out, but Tommy still refused to let go of his hand. He sat there and talked to him in a quiet steady voice. Smart and Mitch took turns with Mike, letting Tommy have bathroom breaks and grab a snack. Mitch, as Mr. Hardcastle had finally demanded Smart call him, was sitting with Mike, even holding his hand, when Mike's eyelids fluttered a little and he moaned. Mitch pressed his hand a little letting him know that he wasn't alone. "Not Tommy," Mike rasped out, barely audible. "That's right, Mike, it's Mitch. Tommy's dad. Tommy just went to the bathroom and to wash his face. He'll be back before we know it. You rest now, son. I'm here for you. We've got your back." His voice was a little raspy. Mike sighed and went back under. Tommy and Smart were taking a short walk outside the front door of the hospital when they saw Tommy's old roommate coming up the sidewalk towards them. They looked at each other. 66

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"Tommy, man. News travels fast. How is Mike?" Brad looked really concerned and a little nervous. Tommy sensed something off, too, and started for him. Smart held him back. "Wait a minute. Find out what's up. Mike's going to be okay, after a long, long time. Now what do you know?" He knew Brad knew something. They waited and saw him relax a little, straighten his shoulders, and looked squarely at them. "I just know that last night, Donnie came in and looked pretty bad. He had blood on him and his hands were all messed up. He started clearing out his stuff like he was leaving and when I asked what was up he told me to shut up and that I had never seen him if I knew what was good for me." Brad sounded scared. "It wasn't until this morning when I heard about Mike that I put the two together. Dudes, I'm not into your thing, you know that, but I never wished you any harm. Tommy, you know that." Tommy relaxed a little and nodded. Smart knew Brad was telling the truth. They listened as Brad went on. "Donnie was wacko, man. He couldn't stop talking about you all. How 'unnatural' it was and how you were a blight on civilization and so on. Not that I remember him using such big words, you understand." His smile was weak and didn't reach his eyes. "I never heard any real threats or I would have told you. I basically avoided him when I could. We hardly spoke. I just sort of existed with him there. Mostly I went out when he was there and he sort of did the same. I really think he might have had something to do with hurting Mike. The timing is right and he was definitely gone." Brad took a deep breath and forged ahead. 67

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"If you need me to, I'll tell the police. Someone said they came by, but I wasn't there. Uh, I went to my girlfriend's apartment last night after Donnie left." Brad rubbed his hands together. "I didn't want to be there if he came back mad, you know. If I had been there when the police came I would have told them. You know who I should talk to?" "Thanks, Brad. This means a lot. It's Officer Brannon who will want to talk to you. His partner is another Donnie clone, but Brannon is okay. He cares and he'll pursue this. We appreciate it, don't we, Tommy?" He pushed Tommy toward Brad, wanting him to respond and thank him. Tommy was pale and shaky. The prolonged anger was taking a toll on him and Smart wanted him to snap out of it. "Tommy!" he urged. "Yeah. Hey, Brad, thanks." Tommy still sounded a little out of it. "Yeah, we'd like you to tell the cops what you know. Any idea where the bastard would go?" "Nah, I don't even know where he's from, but I'm sure they'd know in administration. Listen, I'll go down and talk to this Officer Brannon and you let me know if I can do anything for you. You were a lot better roommate than that creep and I'm sorry that your guy's hurt." Brad shook Tommy's hand and left. Smart and Tommy looked at each other and turned at the same time to go in and tell Tommy's dad. They were expecting Mike's parents any time now so they would have to be told, too. It just never seemed to end. But things were moving onward. Things were happening and plans were being made and the sense of hopelessness and not being able to do 68

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anything was dissipating. Now there were things to take care of and ways to help out. When Mike's parents got there Smart and Mitch went to Tommy's dorm and both sacked out on the two beds and slept like the dead for several hours. Mitch had planned to get a hotel room, but he went in with Smart and sat on Tommy's bed. They talked a couple of minutes and he just leaned over and was asleep between words. Smart went over, swung Mitch's legs up, took off his shoes and covered him, then went to his own bed and just deflated like a balloon losing air. He wilted and collapsed. It was nearly dark when the phone rang, and they both sprang up like puppets, looking around to see what had awakened them. "Phone, Smart. Get it." Mitch rubbed his hand across his face, waiting to hear what the call was about. "Tommy? Oh, hi, Alex. No, that's all right. What's up?" Smart tried to make his voice sound less bleary, but he wasn't sure if it worked. "We're still in business mode, sorry to say." Alex, too, sounded tired. "The specialist is here to look at Mike's hand and Tommy needs some support. He didn't say, but I think you need to come back ... his dad, too, if possible." "Yeah, we fell asleep as soon as we got here. We'll be right there. Thanks, Alex. You're the best." Smart was happy just talking to him, despite the news. How sick was that? **** Tommy was dead serious, "There's not a thing I can't or won't do for him. I'll wipe his ass and kiss his booboos and 69

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hold him when he hurts and push him when he's down. I'll see he eats and sleeps as much as he needs and I'll help him through rehab." His voice held conviction and a smidgen of hope. "Just tell me he's going to be all right and the rest is just ... just life. It is what it is. I'll ask my dad if I can take a semester off and if Mike's parents won't let us both stay there, then I'll take him home to the ranch. I know Dad won't mind. Hell, he'd love it. So would Mom." He smiled, liking the idea more and more. "There's plenty of room and there's a rehab center in the next town over, not far really. The Donaldsons could visit. We'll see about it. Damn, Smart, I'm beginning to think like you." Tommy smiled at the whole group. Mitch, the specialist, the techs (including Alex), the Donaldsons, Smart, the doctor and nurses already on the case, and Mike. There was a silence and then several people started talking at once. It got kind of loud, but it was amazing how attuned they all were to Mike. At a small sound, like a whimper/groan, it was silent again. They all looked at him, waiting. "Please," he implored his parents, his eyes just begging and his lips just barely quivered. "We'll see, son. We'll work it out, okay? I hate to see you go so far away from us, but..." Mr. Donaldson was trying, he really was. "Uh, Mr. Donaldson, if I may," Mr. Hardcastle spoke up. "We're still talking about a week or more from now. No one is going anywhere yet. Let's put it on the back burner. We can all agree that it's a good plan, and see about making it work 70

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after a while goes by. Nothing has to be set in stone now, but Mike can relax and know things will work out. I'm good with everything Tommy suggested, but it won't be decided without everyone's input. Agreed?" He looked at Mr. Donaldson. "It's Richard. And I think that sounds like a good idea. Maybe Tommy and Smart can stay with Mike here a while and the three of us," he pointed to his wife and Mitch, "could go down to the cafeteria for some coffee and talk a little." Smart nearly fell over and Tommy and Mike just looked at each other in that way and they both sighed, and said, "Cool."

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Chapter Eight Mitch had gone to get a room at a local hotel. The Donaldsons left for the night. Mike's condition had improved to where he was in a private room and Tommy and Smart could both be in there with him. It was about 1:30 a.m. and Smart was just whipped. He looked over and saw that Tommy was out, sitting awkwardly, with his head on the bed by their joined hands. He looked up as Alex came in and they sort of gazed at each other and then both smiled at how goofy that was. Alex pointed to Tommy and whispered, "That looks uncomfortable. Wanna help me be really bad and drive the nurses crazy?" "What are you thinking?" Smart was perking right up with Alex in the room. Alex walked over on those quiet shoes and touched Tommy's shoulder. Tommy jerked upright and his movement must have jarred Mike because he moved and then gasped in pain. "What? What's going on?" he wanted to know. He looked back at Mike and tried to ease him back again, "Shh, baby. Relax. Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you." He petted Mike's hand a little and looked accusingly at Alex. Alex just grinned and eased up beside Mike's ear and whispered something. Mike's eyes opened wide and he grinned from ear to ear, which had to hurt with all the scrapes and cuts on his face. But absolute joy shone out of his eyes when he looked at Tommy and nodded. "What are you doing, Alex? Why's he grinnin' like that?" Tommy wanted in on the secret. 72

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"I think it is time to move Mike a little. Don't want him to get bedsores or anything. Smart, can you and Tommy help on this side and I'll take the right side and we'll scoot him over in the bed a little. Just make him a little more comfortable." Tommy and Smart looked at each other and still it didn't dawn on them what Alex had in mind. They grabbed the pad under Mike and at Alex's nod they scooted him over in the bed a little. Mike gasped again and Tommy flinched like he'd been punched. "Alex, man, you know what you're doing? He's hurting worse, looks like to me." "Yeah, he does look like he hurts." Alex looked at Tommy. "I think he could use a hug. Maybe someone could hold him a little. Gently, of course. You've got about two hours before the next nurse shows up and if I work it right and can arrange for the right one to show up, she'll leave you with him and won't tell. Here, let's get you settled." Tommy looked like Christmas had arrived early. "Really? I can hold him without hurting him? You're sure?" Alex looked at Mike and then to Tommy and pointed to Mike and said, "What do you think?" Mike had tears in his eyes, and his hand reached for Tommy. In seconds Tommy was lying beside Mike, awkwardly with his arm straight up over the bed and facing Mike with his other hand very, very softly on Mike's chest. "I can feel your heartbeat, baby. Sleep now." It was like they were already alone in the room. They were in their own world. The position seemed a favored one, comfortable, like they were safe at last. 73

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Alex motioned Smart out of the room. "I'm on a crusade. Now it's your turn. Come with me." Smart liked his last idea so much he didn't even question this one. Smart chuckled and said, "You gonna hold me while I sleep?" Alex stopped and looked him right in the eyes and said, "Would you like me to?" "You know, I think I would. But you are working here and I'm wasted and I don't want you getting in trouble or anything..." Smart trailed off as Alex leaned in and sort of nuzzled his face into Smart's neck for a second. He heard him take a deep breath and Smart got hard instantly, just from that. Yeah. He was easy, and he had it bad. "I have a secret. There are a couple of us who have found a place to kind of space out when there are down times. We're close and we're available if we are needed, but sometimes you just gotta get away, right? You up for joining me for a little down time? We'll be close by and can be back in the middle of things in a couple of minutes if needed." He looked at Smart and smiled right into his tired eyes. "I think you need a break and I find myself with a little free time. Want to spend it together?" Alex waited, breath held, for Smart's answer. Smart was ... not stupid. He, in turn, leaned into Alex's neck moved his nose up and down and took a deep breath. "Mmhmm." "Shit." Alex took a deep breath and rubbed his chin against the side of Smart's face. "Come on." 74

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He led them to a closet and closed and locked the door. It was surprisingly large and he turned left and behind a sort of half wall there was a big old saggy couch and table and lamp. There was a folded quilt on it; someone had obviously brought from home. The place smelled like cleaner and dirty mops and who knew what else, but it was quiet and had very little light and it was just what Smart needed. Alex was smart, too. He liked that. Alex chuckled and said, "I don't know whether to jump your bones or make you get some real rest." He reached out and smoothed his hand down Smart's arm, taking hold of his hand and pulling him toward the couch. Smart let himself be led, but he didn't plan on resting right away. He had a few ideas of his own. 'Fessing up was one of them. "I gotta tell you something. Something you might need to know up front here. I've never ... well almost, never done anything with another guy. I've kissed once and ... and ... jerked off in a storeroom of a bar with a really nice waiter, but other than that I'm not much of a ... lover. I just didn't want you to expect..." "Shut up, Smart. Or in this case, Stupid. You think I'm in here looking for a stud, a fuckbuddy? If you weren't so tired I might pop you one. If you think about it a minute, you'll know better. Do I seem like the type to just want a quick fuck?" Alex looked offended, and Smart winced. "Damn. No. I'm sorry. I just feel so ... inadequate ... and sort of behind when it comes to ... to..." He paused a minute and looked up at Alex, sheepishly and asked, "Can I have a do over?" 75

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"Come here, sweetie. We're gonna lie down and rest in just a minute but first I've got to kiss that mouth. I've thought of little else in two days. Shame on me, but damn, I want my tongue down your throat!" Smart reached out and took Alex into his arms and with no preliminaries at all slammed his mouth over Alex's. Oh sweet Jesus, that felt good. He opened up and nearly swooned like a silly girl at the sensations that went through him as their tongues tangled and rubbed against each other, first in one mouth then in the other. "Hmmm," he moaned into Alex's mouth and settled both arms tight around his neck and held on. Smart's breathing was coming harder through his nose but he couldn't give up the feelings invading him. He loved this. He wanted more and more. He slid back just enough to put both hands on Alex's face and hold his head where he wanted it, turning it and getting a better angle. Finally, Alex pulled back enough to say, roughly, "Feels so good. God, Smart. Better than I dared to hope. You?" "Oh, yeah," Smart replied right against Alex's lips, not willing to let them go completely just yet. He dove right back in and there were two moans as, this time Alex took his face in between his hands and then moved them up to slide them through his hair. He massaged a little and was rewarded with another deep moan and a full-body shiver. Smart's hips pressed in tighter, rubbing their cocks together, both high and hard.

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"Couch. Now," Alex managed to get out. They moved, more like danced, over to it and sort of dropped down together, mouths still tight together. "Fuck me, now I..." "Love to." Alex answered with a wink. "You goof. I was gonna say I understand now why they can't keep their hands off each other. I don't want to let you go and we barely know each other." "I know what you mean, but I think we know each other pretty well. Considering." Alex gave him a small smile. "We kind of came together in a crisis and it's like we've known each other longer than we really have." Smart couldn't stop a yawn and Alex laughed at him. "Now that's sexy. I can tell I'm really making a good impression. Putting you right to sleep, am I?" Smart put his forehead to Alex's and smiled at his teasing, "No fair. No sleep in a long time, here. Few hours sometime yesterday I think, but I've been so scared." He felt silly asking, but couldn't help it. "Will you ... uh ... will you just hold me for a little while? I mean, I'm hard as a rock here and I am really ... really ... into you, but I'm so tired I'm gonna start babbling soon and..." Alex's mouth shut him up and he turned as Alex pushed him and they lay together on the big couch. Alex reached up to the back of it and got the cover and somehow got most of it over them and Smart went to sleep with his head against Alex's neck, a place he was finding he really liked to be. Alex lasted long enough to smooth his hand down Smart's face and plant a soft kiss against those 77

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gorgeous lips. Uh-huh. Nice.

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Chapter Nine Mike had been in surgery for hours and would be for several more. The specialist was taking his time. Tommy, Smart, Mitch, and the Donaldsons were all waiting together. The boys never found out what was said between the parents in the cafeteria, but they seemed to be getting along well now. Hesitantly, but well, considering. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon and Smart looked up to find Alex standing in front of him, saying, "Hey. You need anything?" Smart lit up and smiled. "Nah, man. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be home sleeping or something?" Smart said, glad Alex wasn't at home. He was here, and looking good. "Been there. Done that. See my t-shirt?" Alex chuckled and Smart got up and Tommy and both parents just watched them walk out the door without saying a word. Tommy looked at Mitch and shrugged. Then they smiled at each other. Wouldn't it be great? Tommy thought. **** "I checked for you," Alex said. "Mike has about three more hours in surgery, and then it will be a few more before he even gets to see anybody. So can I steal you away for about four hours or so? Wanna come to my apartment with me? We can stop and get something to eat if you haven't had anything..." Alex stopped and just looked at Smart. "Just a minute." Smart went back into Tommy's room, and was back in seconds. 79

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"I'm all yours." He stopped and turned red and was going to say something when Alex held up his hand. "Don't say anything. Let me just soak that up for a second, even if you didn't mean it like that. Gave my heart a jump start, let me tell you." He laughed at Smart's expression. "Come on. I want to know you a little more. Okay?" "Sounds like what I've been wanting, too." Smart was almost bouncing at the idea. They got into Alex's silver Camry and as soon as the doors closed he leaned over toward Smart, but before they made contact he pulled back and said, "No. Not here. If I get that mouth again, we'll be sittin' here jacking off in the parking lot. Not what I want right now. Will it freak you out if I say I want you naked? I want to be skin on skin, head to toe with you in a really big way." "Not freaked out. Horny as hell. Excited. Anxious. Ready. Move it." Alex's expression made Smart laugh. "Hey," he continued, "I said I was inexperienced, that doesn't mean I'm not as eager as you are to get naked and horizontal. How fast can you get us there?" Smart was hard, and he reached down and adjusted himself in his jeans. Alex laughed, reached over, moved Smart's hand and gave him a little rub of his own. Then he was all concentration as he peeled out and headed for home. By the time they were inside the door of his ground floor apartment, they were both so excited words were impossible. The door closed, was locked, and they were up against it. Smart's head banged against it and he oomphed a little. Alex 80

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reached up and put his hand behind Smart's head and rubbed a little in apology, but he kept right on pushing Smart up against the door and almost climbing him, trying to get closer. Their hips and their lips were doing some serious rubbing and breathing was becoming hard and loud. Alex's tongue moved in and out of Smart's mouth; when Smart moaned, Alex pulled away a little. "Oh. Oh. Don't ... come back. I love your mouth." Smart managed to get out. "Ditto, dude. But we need to take a second and plan a little. We gotta find out some things. Know some things about each other." Smart put his head down on Alex's shoulder and nodded. "Okay. Sorry." "Oh, Smart, honey, there is no sorry to it. I'm as into this as you are, but I am a little more experienced; not vastly, mind you, I have always been very selective and have always always been careful, but there are things that need to be settled." Alex fidgeted a little, then went on. "First, I am clean. Guaranteed. But ... I feel like a teacher here. Sex Ed. You never believe your partner when they say that. You make them prove it. I have no doubt you are clean if you are as inexperienced as you say, and I can prove I am, but you gotta know never to just believe someone. Okay?" "Sure. Okay. I knew that. And yeah, there is no way I'm not clear, and I believe you, but you can prove it ... how? You got papers?" Smart felt a little incredulous at the thought of having health papers on you—like it was something you carried in your wallet. 81

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"Yeah, we get checked regularly and I am way conscientious about it, believe me, but hell I've been checked twice since last time I was with anyone so it was that long ago. Here." He went over to a desk and pulled out a sheet and showed Smart what to look for on it to know it was real. "Thanks for the info. I appreciate it. So this means we can do stuff without rubbers, right? 'Cause I don't even have any. Real smart, huh?" "Think your mind's been elsewhere lately. Yeah, we're safe to do anything we want." He led Smart over to a couch and they sat down. "That's another thing. Do you know what you want?" "Everything. I just want you. I want to feel you against me, I want to suck you, lick you all over, and I want to know what it feels like to ... to ... have you ... in me. Even maybe ... do you." Smart looked right into Alex's eyes, unafraid. "Aw, you're so shy. You don't know what a turn-on it is to know I get to see you explore everything for the first time. God, we need more time. Marcella is going to call me when Mike's out of surgery. Shuck 'em, baby." Smart almost lost it at being called "baby" by Alex. He'd heard Tommy call Mike that so many times he was used to it, but he felt a thrill roll right through him at being called someone's baby. He stood and took off his clothes, never taking his eyes off Alex, who was doing the same. Oh, nice shoulders tapering down to a really nice flat stomach. Cool abs. Not hairy. Smart loved that. He was kicking off his sneakers when he caught sight of Alex's cock for the first time and he just stopped and looked. Man, he 82

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was so gone. He wanted to touch it, smell it, taste it. He just stood still a minute. He reached out and put his finger at the base and ran it right up to the tip. It jumped in his hand and he smiled into Alex's laughing eyes. "Naked. Now. No more touching," Alex teased, then cheated by running his hands over Smart's chest and rubbing for a second on his tight little nipples. "Mmm. Cheating. Good. Feels good. More." Smart stopped again to enjoy the contact. He figured that Alex would take over and before long he had Smart as naked as he and was pulling him to the bedroom. The bed was unmade and they fell right onto the cool, blue sheets. "First things first. I want to feel you all over. Then I'm going to suck you so hard, your head will spin and then you can do me. Then we'll see what we have time for. But first ... here ... mmm ... you feel so good. It's good we're about the same height, look how we fit." He moved a little, and Smart gasped at the feeling of their bodies together. "Yeah, rub just like that. Doesn't that feel fine? Ah, your hands feel good on me. Keep on, baby, just touch anything you want to." Smart hesitated a little when he ran his hand down to Alex' ass. "No, don't stop, you can touch me there ... slide your fingers down between my cheeks, mmm, yeah, God, that's good." He jumped as Smart hit the perfect spot. "Oh! Damn, how green are you? Not too, I think. Found the prize there. Oh, yeah, just like that, feels so good. Here, let me..." He put his hand down between them, took hold of both their cocks and began tugging. 83

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Smart yelped and came, jerking and shouting and Alex joined right in, his ass contracting around Smart's finger. He rested against Alex's shoulder as air bellowed out of their chests. When Smart turned his head and saw a beautiful smile on Alex's face, he smiled back. Alex leaned over and covered Smart's mouth and gently kissed him, finally sliding his lips over to his neck and sniffed hard, like he had done before. "More. God, that was so good." Smart couldn't keep the plea out of his voice. "Alex, I hope you don't get tired of me any time soon. I want to do everything with you All of it right now. I think I am going to be insatiable. Problem?" "Baby, the only problem I have is the damned time limit. Let's see how fast you can recover." He licked and kissed his way down Smart's body and when he started licking up the come on his stomach Smart gasped and was hard in seconds. Just the thought of their come mixed together and Alex tasting them, blew his mind. Ever one for new experiences, he put his hand down and rubbed it over his own stomach, gathering up some juice and bringing it to his lips. He put his tongue out and licked up his palm and shuddered at the idea as well as the taste. Salty and sort of earthy. Smelled like both of them. Cool. He knew what they smelled like together. He found that so sexy. He cleaned his hand and nearly jumped straight off the bed when Alex's mouth went over his hard cock. "Alex, oh God! Mmm. Mmmhmm. Oh. Good. Hot." He settled back, reaching for another pillow so he could watch better. He paid close attention since he wanted to know 84

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exactly how to do this so when he got his turn he could make Alex feel equally good ... no ... fantastic. He watched his cock disappear almost completely into Alex's mouth and felt it bump the back of his throat. Wow. He paid attention as Alex ringed him up and down with his tongue, pulling almost off and then with just the head in his mouth he sucked like a damned vacuum cleaner and it was all Smart could do not to come again. Then Alex reached up with his hand and began to manipulate Smart's balls. Oh God, too much. He bucked and came so hard his head did sort of feel spinny, kind of light. He kept his eyes open though, and watched. Alex swallowed it all and then licked and lapped at his softening cock until it was clean. He flopped his head back onto the pillows and sighed as Alex rested his cheek against his thigh and smiled up at Smart. "How'd you like your first blow job?" he asked, kind of teasing, but actually looking a little hesitant. "Come 'ere, you. My God, I only hope I can do you as good as that. That was more than incredible. You ... you give me performance anxiety. I'm afraid I won't be able to do as good a job and you won't..." "It's not a contest, hon. It's just us. Just loving on each other. Playing. Touching. Tasting. It's all good. Shit, just the idea of me in your mouth makes me want to come." He rubbed his hard cock against Smart's leg and continued, "I don't think you're going to have to worry. And, hey, if you suck ... pardon the pun ... I'll be glad to let you keep practicing on me. How's that?" Alex's smile damn near tuned him inside out. 85

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"You are such a goof. If I suck? I'll show you how I suck." He flipped Alex over and then he licked his way down Alex's chest, but he stopped for a little experiment on those pretty, dark pink nipples. He tried to turn off the side of his brain that wanted to do everything just right. How much pressure, should he use his teeth, would a little bite feel good, how hard could he suck without hurting Alex ... off off off! He wanted to just feel. Do what he thought would feel good and try to be very attuned to how Alex was responding. It paid off. When he put his teeth around the nipple and flicked it with his tongue, Alex gasped and jerked. When he took the whole thing in his mouth and sucked as hard as he could, Alex rolled up and curved his body over Smart, just shaking. Smart eased him back down and teased him, licking around and around the circle, but not taking the nipple back in. Alex actually growled and Smart smiled and rewarded him by taking him back in and sucking steadily and strongly. Finally Alex turned sideways, pulling him off. He looked up to see what he'd maybe done wrong. "Mmm ... other side's jealous," Alex panted. Smart just grinned and scooted over to give that side equal time and attention. Hell, who knew? He'd never even played with his own. Never occurred to him. Finally letting go and moving down, he took a few seconds to enjoy the smell of their dried come on Alex's stomach. His chin bumped a very hard erection and he tilted his head and took him right in. He wanted to see if he could take it all, so down he went until his nose was in Alex's blond curls. Full. Smooth and hot. He moved his tongue up the 86

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underside and heard Alex shout. Oh good. He pulled back, using suction the whole way 'til he got to the head and then did like Alex had done and sucked hard. "Oh fuck! You lied." Alex was panting and twisting on the bed. "Hmmm?" he murmured around the thick head in his mouth. "You have to have done this before ... you ... oh ... God, like that. Yes. Yes! I'm gonna come. Pull off if you don't want it..." He shot like gangbusters and was amazed when Smart took it all right down. He licked him clean like he'd watched Alex do and lay his head against his thigh, looking up and smiling. Alex looked totally wiped out. His head rolled around on the pillows and he had a great smile on his face. Smart crawled up and put his head on the pillow right beside Alex's and sighed deeply, gratefully. Alex put one arm around him and the other hand went up and rubbed his head over and over. "Rest a minute ... or a half hour. I am amazed at you ... you're a natural." "I think it's because it's you. I felt something for you right away. You showed such kindness and compassion to Mike and Tommy, and I just wanted to know you. And then I wanted to ... know you know you ... and I have to say, I really like doing this with you. Don't think I could be this way with anybody else." "Cool." Alex kept rubbing his head, fingers deep into his scalp, making him feel so good and relaxed. 87

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Smart didn't know when he flaked out and just lost consciousness, but he knew when he woke up. They had shifted and were side by side, facing each other with his face in Alex's neck. Seemed like home to him. Alex's hand was moving over him and he couldn't stifle a groan when he felt those fingers moving over, rubbing, even squeezing his ass. Mmm, he perked right up, awake instantly, head and cock. "Hey gorgeous, wanna fuck?" Alex smiled when Smart pulled his head up to look at him. He just nodded. Boy, did he? Again, he looked uncertain. "It's okay. First time, I'll take you. Show you the ropes, though I don't think you need teaching per se. You seem to know what to do just by instinct. But, how do you want it? Hands and knees or face to face the first time?" Smart almost couldn't think as Alex's finger probed around his virgin hole and he gasped and pushed back a little, wanting more. "I think face to face. I accidentally walked in on Tommy and Mike once and they looked so beautiful, just going at it and looking into each other's eyes." Smart smiled, the memory sending a shudder through his body. "I remember thinking, 'Oh God, I want to do that' so if it's all right I'd like to try it that way, looking at you, at your eyes. Are you sure you don't mind me being so new at all this?" "Told you. Love it. Turns me on. I like this way, too. It is much more personal, though the other way is deeper and very sexy. We'll get there sometime. But for right now turn just a little and spread those long legs and let me see you."

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Smart tried not to be embarrassed as he did as requested. He felt pretty open as he lay flat on his back and spread his legs, just letting it all hang there, open and vulnerable. "Sexy, sexy man. God, you make me ache. Just look at you. Here, let me get some lube and I'll make you one happy Smart." "God, I'm already happy. Horny. Halfway in love. You better watch out." "Not scaring me. I'd love to take this further. Told you I wasn't looking just for a fuckbuddy. I don't do that. I want to spend time with you, get to know you, your friends, who I already like." He was busy with the lube as he talked and smiled at Smart when he touched him with his slick fingers. "Mmm, you like that, huh? I know it's a little cold at first, but soft and slick and just makes it so easy to slide right up there and do this..." He turned his finger deep inside Smart and smiled when he pegged his gland. Smart thrust upwards and shouted. "What in the..." He trailed off as Alex put a second finger in and stretched him. He moaned and moved his hips around, liking the invaded feeling, already wanting more. "More ... that feels so good ... do that thing again ... ah, yes! God, if your finger is this good, I'll die when you get your cock in me." "So glad you like it. I'm almost ready to come inside you, let me see if you can take another finger ... easy now ... ah, there." Another thick finger went in, and Smart made a small sound at the stretch and burn. "Hurt?" Alex asked. "No? Okay here goes," and he began to move those three fingers in and 89

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out turning them and stretching Smart's hole, ready to breach him with his cock. He took out his fingers and Smart whimpered at the loss. He smiled and bent to take a quick kiss. "Love how you love it." And then he was pushing the head of his cock into Smart. He looked Smart in the eyes as he pushed steadily in, a little at a time at first. "Okay?" he whispered, looking into eyes that were beginning, surprisingly, to tear up. "God, yes. So good. Burns a little. Come on. You don't have to be so careful. Take me harder. I want to feel you deep inside me. You feel so good." Smart reached for Alex's hips and took hold of either side and tried to pull him in further. Alex thrust the rest of the way, 'til his balls were snug against Smart. He reached down, took Smart's legs and drew them up and wider, and then he just started pushing in and out, faster and harder. Alex leaned up a little and pressed downward and pegged Smart's prostate again. He smiled as Smart shouted again. He did it a few more times and Smart felt a full body flush rise up: stomach to chest, neck to face, and his eyes glazed over. "Oh fuck me, fuck me. Alex. Alex! God, that's so good. I want you to never stop. Just keep on 'til I die a happy old man." Alex snorted and slowed down, pulling almost all the way out and then slowly back in to the hilt. He watched Smart's face to see how he liked that. Smart smiled and let his legs down and Alex just kept up a smooth steady rhythm. Smart 90

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wondered how long he could keep that up? But then he got interested in those lips again... Alex leaned down and took Smart's mouth. He put one hand on Smart's cock and started pulling it. Alex pinched one of his nipples and that was all it took. Smart came with a wild cry and covered Alex's hand with hot sticky come. Smart felt him pull out and ram himself home one last hard time before he came. Alex eased out and collapsed onto Smart with a sated sigh. "Happy here. You?" Alex didn't really have to ask. "Mmmhmm. So happy. Want to just bask. That's a good word, huh? Basking. Basking in the glow. Am I glowing? I feel like I am. Ought to be. God, that was great. Please shut me up..." Alex did in the best way possible and for a seemingly unending time they kissed. Hard, soft, sweet, and sexy 'til their lips were wet and swollen. They sighed together. Uh-oh. Smart chuckled a little. "What?" Alex rested his head beside Smart's on the pillow and his hand was again in Smart's hair. "Just felt like a Tommy/Mike moment there for a second. Couldn't be a better thing, really." Alex raised up and smiled down at him. "You are so fucking sexy." He looked over at the clock by the bed and groaned. "We can rest a few minutes, but I think we should probably think about getting back soon. See if the others need anything. I'll shower and you call and see if we can get anyone anything and then you can shower ... or you wanna save some water?" 91

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"Hmm ... you wet, slick, shiny, water running down that sexy body, steam, soap ... show me the way. We'll call them in a little bit." The shower was a whole new sensual experience. The smell of soap and man was heady, and they spent a good amount of time just kissing under the spray. Heavenly. Smart wanted to spend as much time with this man as he could. He was totally hooked on Alex and his body and his smile and his genuinely good nature. He was what Smart had been hoping to find. He hoped they could really become a couple. Alex was right. It seemed like they had known each other longer than they actually had. After a horrible few days he finally had something to smile about. When he did, Alex kissed it off his face, but it came right back.

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Chapter Ten Having talked to Mitch and found out they needed nothing, Alex dropped Smart off at the hospital and went to do some errands before work that night. Smart was one happy gay boy when he went into the waiting room, dying to share his joy with Tommy. He went over to him and sat down. Tommy didn't even look up and Smart, being just that, caught on that something was wrong. "What's up?" he asked quietly. "You have a good time? Found a new fuckbuddy?" Tommy sneered, but before Smart could even formulate a reply to that Mitch grabbed Tommy's arm and pulled him right up out of the chair. "Come on, Smart. Outside." Smart was still reeling from the anger in Tommy's remark and the abrupt jerk from happiness to guilt and pain. This ... from Tommy? Mitch pulled a reluctant Tommy out the front door and Smart tagged along, just as reluctantly. "Thomas James Hardcastle. Take a deep breath, boy. Now, look at Smart and say that again. I dare you." Tommy obeyed his father. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Smart and just crumpled. He pulled away from Mitch's hold and fell on his friend. Smart's arms went around him and he looked at Mitch. Mitch sighed deeply and said, "Finally," under his breath and went back inside. "Oh God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," Tommy started to cry and talk at the same time. "I'm so scared. I don't know what ... what ... to do. He's still in surgery. God, it's been 93

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nine hours ... or more ... and I'm so afraid for him." He was shaking and clenching Smart's neck as he cried. "Don't hate me, please. I've been so scared all day ... of saying anything at all, afraid I'd just lose it completely ... and then you came in all happy and I turned into an ass." He sobbed against Smart's shoulder. Smart held him and patted his back and rubbed his head a little, wishing he knew what to do. He was scared, too. "I'm sorry, Tommy. I should have thought how it'd look if I came in like nothing was wrong. You were right to call me on it. I'm..." "No! Not right. I'm wrong," Tommy pulled back and rubbed his arm across his face. "You have done more for Mike and me than anyone, ever, and I took it out on you. Come over here and sit on this bench with me. Tell me about it." They sat together for a few seconds. Smart was hesitant to talk about his joy in being with Alex. Tommy looked up. "Did you finally get laid? You look a lot looser. Your lips look like you spent the whole afternoon kissing somebody." He smiled a little as Smart blushed. "Is he good to you? I like him, Smart, I really do. He's been good to Mike and me, too. I promise I'll be nice to him. I won't be ugly like I was to you." He paused and looked into Smart's eyes, sincere in his remorse. "Will you forgive me? I'm kind of lost here. I need you to help me be there for Mike. I can't lose you ... please, man..." He looked like he was going to tear up again. "Shut up. You know better than that." Smart bumped Tommy's shoulder with his. "We're good. Solid. Don't give it 94

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another thought. I think you needed to let some of that anger and fear out. Glad I could help..." He chuckled when Tommy punched his shoulder. "Seriously, Tommy, I know how much pain you are going through, because I am, and I'm not in love with him. I love you both like brothers ... which, by the way, makes that threesome question really snarky, you know." He tried to inject a little humor. "I can't imagine how you feel. If you need something from me, say it, do it, whatever. I want you to be okay so you can be strong for Mike. He's gonna need so much..." He frowned before continuing. "Besides all the pain and therapy and recovery, you know we're going to have to deal with what happened itself." Smart had been thinking about this and knew that Tommy would want to be there to provide the things that Mike would need. "The violence and hatred he felt must be replaying in his mind and it's got to leave a really big mess in his head." Tommy really hadn't thought that far into the future. He was still caught up in the immediacy of Mike's pain. "We need to talk to someone so we know the right way to handle it. I'll see if Alex knows someone who can help us," Smart said and waited for Tommy to reply. He looked over. "We'll ask him together tonight, okay?" Tommy leaned over and rested his head on Smart's shoulder and nodded. After a few minutes, Smart realized Tommy was crying, not sobbing, just tears streaming down his face and then he was sort of sniffing and trying to stop. He started to pull away, but Smart held on and told him, quietly, "No. Stay. Get it all out. You know it's okay. It's me. 95

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We're kind of hidden and no one else is around." He rubbed Tommy's back a little. "Let some of that grief and anger and fear out or it's gonna make you crazy. I'm here. I've got your back." Finally, Tommy started to talk ... "How could someone do that to such a beautiful person? Not just pretty, but good inside, you know? He is so smart and sweet and loving. He makes me so happy. I light up when I see him, Smart, like one of those damn Hallmark commercials." He was still shaking, but he was talking, getting some of it out. "God, I love him so much. Am I a complete sap? Of course I am." Tommy didn't need answers, he just needed to vent. Smart held on and listened. "Do you know he loves you, too? He told me you were like a big brother to him. That was maybe a week ago. He thought it was so funny that time you walked in on us." Smart blushed all over again at the memory of how embarrassed he'd been. Tommy went on with his thoughts about Mike. "He's a big goof, you know. But he's my goof, my Mike. I've got to have him back. I'll do whatever it takes to make it right for him. You've gotta help me, okay?" "You bet. Whatever it takes."

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Chapter Eleven The surgery on Mike's hand took eleven hours and twenty minutes. The specialist was tired but encouraging. He felt he had met quite a challenge, but thought with time Mike would have full function in his hand. Now it was time to think about the rest of it. Thank God for Alex. He managed to arrange for Tommy to be there when Mike woke up, and of course the first thing Mike said was Tommy's name. When he felt Tommy squeeze his hand, he relaxed back into sleep. Tommy just wilted. The staff talked him into slipping away for a bite now that he had seen that Mike was going to be okay. Smart and Tommy went to the cafeteria and talked a little. It was all so subdued and quiet. Smart was used to laughing and cutting up with his two friends and now everything was just ... wrong. Tommy was sitting with his back to the door, his head resting on his bent hand. Smart looked up when he saw Officer Brannon come in. He had a smile, grim at best, on his face. "I'll trade my good news for yours. How's Mike?" He sat down in the chair beside Tommy. He touched him on the shoulder for a second in support. Nice guy, Smart thought. "They say he's gonna be okay. It's going to be a long time, though." Officer Brannon nodded and then said, "We got him." 97

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"No shit? Where was he? Where is he?" Tommy jumped up like he was going after the bastard right then. "Easy, son. Sit down. He's in custody, and with the evidence and his confession there won't be a problem keeping him. Did you know that dog bit him? That helped seal the deal." He gave a real grin then. Mitch came in just in time to hear that and he laughed. "That dog needs a good home." He looked at Smart and they both nodded. Smart knew Mitch would look into getting that dog and taking him home to the ranch. Cool. "Now that we know Mike is okay, I think I'll head home tomorrow. The Donaldsons have agreed to let Mike recover at the ranch. They are even coming down for Christmas." He nodded to reinforce the words, knowing they found it hard to believe. "Tommy, you've got to get it worked out with your teachers to finish up this semester. I know, there's only a week left now, but find out what you have to do. You and Mike will be at the ranch next semester as we thought. Smart, we expect frequent visits. They'll both need that." Mitch looked over at Smart and said, "How about later today you and me go see a man about a dog?" Tommy stood up and hugged his dad. Mitch held him tight and smiled down at Smart. Alex came to the doorway and Tommy instantly let Mitch go and asked, "Is he okay? What's wrong?" "Relax. I'm thirsty. Got a break. You can go back in with him in about another half hour. Hello, Officer Brannon." They 98

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filled him in on the news about Donnie being caught and he high-fived Tommy and then sat by Smart with his drink. Tommy and Smart laughed. Alex liked orange drinks, too. **** Mike looked like shit. His face was all swollen and bruised, what could be seen around the bandages. He lay there looking like death on a cracker, and it was all Tommy could do not to just start breaking things, throwing things, screaming really nasty things. But he held it in and sat down beside the love of his life and waited for him to open those sweet baby blue eyes. Smart had gone off somewhere with Alex for the rest of his break and Tommy was happy for him, he really was. He just ached for the way things were just a few days ago. When he could hold and kiss Mike as long and hard as he wanted to. He and Mike once had a conversation about whether they were really weird cause they liked kissing so much. Just kissing. They could spend half an hour or more just lip locked and gazing at each other. How sweet was that? He smiled ruefully at himself for a second. All they had done together and he missed kissing Mike like crazy. "Hey. Nice to wake up to a smile from you..." A quiet, sweet, much-loved voice broke the silence in the room. "Oh, Mike, baby. Hey there." He rubbed his thumb over the wrist he was holding and just gazed into those baby blues he'd been thinking about. "Hey." Mike tried to smile, but it turned into a grimace as it pulled against the many injuries on his face. Tommy saw a 99

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cloud in Mike's eyes and leaned in close and in that way between them, knew something was really messing with Mike's mind. "What, baby? What's bothering you ... besides the obvious, of course? Are you in pain, do you need something? Here, I'll call someone back in here..." "No," Mike turned his hand and grasped Tommy's, surprisingly strong. He was looking agitated and Tommy was concerned. "Okay. Shh. I'm here. What do you need?" "Am I gonna be ugly now? How bad is it?" He paused, then went on. "I know. I heard them talking about my hand and my arm and the therapy and recovery and I'm happy to be going to the ranch with you and I can't believe my parents are gonna let me and..." He had to stop and take a few breaths before he managed to voice his fear. "I won't be your Mike anymore. I know how bad I was cut and they said it was gonna leave scars. I heard the nurses talking about what a shame it was and I had been so good looking and..." Tears started streaming and fear clogged his throat. "I want to go back like it was before. I don't want you to stay with me because of pity or ... or..." Tommy stood and leaned over and put his face right in front of Mike's, lips close to those of his lover, and eyes looking straight into wet blue heaven. "You listen to me and you remember what I'm going to tell you. I'll forgive you for even wondering because of what you have gone through, and because you are drugged and scared, but you listen and you 100

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know this deep down so you won't ever have to wonder or ask again, okay?" Mike sniffed and nodded. "We've been together almost two years and we'll be together for at least sixty more. I'm never giving you up, never leaving you. I wouldn't care if you grew horns and started barking." He took a deep breath and prepared to let his love know, in words, why he was ... his love. "I love every inch of you, every hair, every cell. I love your eyes, your mouth, your scars, your heart. I love your sense of humor, your love for me, your kindness, and your talent. I love your tongue, your cock, your sweet hot ass, your marvelous talented hands." Tommy paused a second and reached to caress Mike's hair, softly, and continued. "I don't care if you can't ever get it up again, can't dance any more, can't swim, can't sing, can't ... can't anything. Do you understand?" Tommy found himself tearing up, but he kept on. "I love you. I need you ... in my life ... in my bed ... in my heart always. You are never ... never to doubt that again." This was so important to Mike's recovery. He had to believe this, know it in his heart and soul. "Scars, stiff fingers, bumps and bruises, I want all of it. You belong with me. I belong to you. We are ... we just are..." He had to stop. He leaned the fraction needed and took Mike's lips in the strongest kiss they'd shared since the accident. Mike whimpered and Tommy eased back. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" "No. Love you. Love you so much." Mike moved a little and saw Alex and Smart just standing there close to the end of 101

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the bed, eyes red and smiles on their faces, their hands clenched together. "Things are getting back to normal. We're a show again. Look." He nodded down the bed. Tommy turned his head and just sort of sighed and dropped his head a little. He noticed that Alex and Smart had come into the room and had heard everything, were witnesses to his words. "Man, we're sorry. We just came in to check on Mike and then we just were kind of caught. I keep interrupting things with you all. We'll go..." Smart was embarrassed at once again being caught witnessing a tender moment between his two friends. "Guys, it's okay. I'm not ashamed of anything I said. And Lord knows you've seen us kiss before. No harm." They all relaxed. Alex let go of Smart's hand to check on Mike and make sure things were okay with him, professionally. The whole time he checked various things and wrote notes, Mike never took his eyes from Tommy's. "What's next?" Tommy finally broke contact with Mike's eyes and looked over at Alex. "You'll have to talk to the doctors, but he looks good. But I bet by this time, say about a week or so he'll probably be ready to go. Just in time for Christmas, I bet." They worked out a schedule where either Smart, Tommy, or one of the Donaldsons was with Mike at all times during the next several days. Tommy still spent every night in the room with him. Smart was amazed that the hospital allowed it, but he'd been there from the first and he was just accepted. 102

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Some of the bruising and swelling went down, and Mike began to look a little more like himself. He had big white bandages on his cuts, but he was moving about and able to get up and walk to the bathroom and down the hall. His arm and hand were in a sling, but he seemed to rally as he was able to finally stand and have Tommy's arms around him in a full hug. The first time he stood beside the bed with the nurse and tech there to make sure he didn't fall, Tommy stepped right up between them and took him into his arms. Mike put his head on Tommy's shoulder and they swayed a moment. Mike sighed like he was finally home. They got a minute or two before a throat cleared and they eased apart. "Help him over to that chair and we'll change the bed. After he's gone to the bathroom, he'll be ready to fall right back in here. Go on, be careful of that arm of his." Marcella had become their champion along with Alex. Mike improved greatly then. He did everything he was told and lived for the times when he and Tommy were alone in the room together. They were just holding hands and kissing some, but it was so necessary to both of them. Smart went back to class and work and soon, both were over for the semester. Tommy made all the arrangements he needed to finish out the semester, and they even worked it out where Mike could take Incompletes and finish at the ranch and send in his work. The owner of the florist where he worked had been by and told him he would be missed and his job would be there when he got back. They knew a good thing and they wanted him back. It was coming together. 103

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Alex and Smart had not been together again. They managed a few stolen kisses, but things were hectic. Smart was just reliving that one glorious afternoon over and over in his mind ... and his dreams. He dropped by Mike's room one afternoon a couple of days before Mike was due for release and was just talking with his two friends when his cell rang. Alex. "Hey. I've got stuff caught up. I'm off tonight. You want a date? We haven't even gone out together. How does dinner and a movie sound?" "Sounds great. Really. I'd like to spend that kind of time with you. Uh ... maybe followed by..." He didn't go on with the other two listening avidly to his end of the conversation. "God, yes, followed by. I'll pick you up ... where?" "Here's good, I mean ... I'm in Mike's room." "Okay, see you in about two hours. Say five? We'll eat dinner, catch an early show and I have a surprise for you." Alex sounded like he couldn't wait to give Smart something. "A surprise? I can't wait. See you." He knew the ribbing would start as soon as he hung up, but surprisingly enough, both Mike and Tommy just smiled at him. "What?" "Nothing man. S'just what we wanted for you. You deserve some love in your life. Some fun. Some good times. What you got planned?" "Dinner and movie with Alex. He says he has a surprise for me."

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"Mmmhmm. Followed by ... we heard. Go for it. You prepared? I mean you got everything you need?" Tommy teased. "Yeah. Alex is cool with my level of experience and we know what we're doing. He's the greatest. He's really come through for all of us, hasn't he?" There was more than a little pride in his voice.

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Chapter Twelve Smart didn't know whether he should be outside waiting for Alex at five or if he was coming in to Mike's room. He was glad he'd cleaned up more than usual before coming in to see his friends this time. He felt like he was ready. The question was answered for him as Alex showed up in the room fifteen minutes before their date. Damn, that was one beautiful man. He had only seen Alex in his uniform and ... well ... naked. He couldn't squelch a feeling of ... pride ... that this man was going out with him. Wanted to be with him. Yeah, Smart was a goner for sure. He went over and met Alex as he walked in the room. "Hey." "Hey, yourself, handsome." Alex smiled at Smart, looking right into his eyes. "Me? You're the one that'll turn heads tonight. I'll have to scare people off and tell the world 'he's with me'," Smart teased. "You look great." Tommy laughed at them. "Guys. You both look good enough to turn heads. Come on in, Alex and see how good Mike looks tonight." Tommy was so attuned to Mike's feelings about his looks. Alex was no fool. He walked over, touched Mike's hand, and leaned down to look at him closely for a minute. Mike just looked back at him like he was waiting for a verdict. It was a teasing moment that had suddenly turned into a very important moment. 106

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"I don't know, guys. Now that I can see the shape of his face and some of the bruising is gone ... I don't know. Maybe I'm going out with the wrong man tonight. What do you think, Mike? You interested?" "You are one fine looking young man," Alex said. "I can see why Tommy is besotted. Yeah, old fashioned word, but perfect for the way he can't get two feet away from you without having withdrawal symptoms." Tommy chuckled behind him as if to acknowledge that it was true. "I know I don't have a chance with you, so I guess I'll have to settle for Smart. He's not bad looking now, let me tell you, but you got something special in you, now don't you?" Mike nodded like he was looking at a great sage who was telling him something important. He teared up a little, but just smiled finally at Alex. "Be good to him, okay?" Alex smiled at Mike and nodded as Tommy pulled him away. "You making time with my lover? Get lost. Go find your own pretty boy. This one is mine. Always has been and always will be. Go on, now, make Smart's night for us, okay?" "Deal." He smiled at those two and reached back to take Smart's hand and the two left the room. "That was great. Just what Mike needed. He's kind of freaked now that he is feeling a little better. He's afraid of being ugly. Silly, but all he can do is lie there and worry about things. He's got a long way to go." Smart looked over at Alex and smiled. "You used just the right amount of honesty and teasing to make him feel better. You have a way about you 107

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that makes people feel good. You're in the right job. People need that. Now. Let's go have fun. Where's my surprise?" "Ooh, greedy. In the car. I wanted to wait 'til we were alone. It's not much; I just wanted to do something to make this really special for you, you know? You've been through a rough time and we kind of got the cart before the horse. I want to court you. Hmm, does that sound corny?" "It sounds perfect. I want to spend this kind of time with you. I want a chance to talk and get to know you better. Not that I'm not hoping to end up in bed with you tonight. God, Alex, I think about that first night all the time." He had to fight the urge to reach out and touch as they walked. "You are so hot, so sexy. I find myself thinking of your mouth at the strangest times. I really have a thing for your mouth, your lips, tongue..." "Okay, shut up. Here's the car. If we're going to have a real date you can't talk like that. I've done a little daydreaming of my own, you know. You're no slouch in the mouth department. Sexy Smart. That's you." Smart smiled, deeply happy that Alex felt the same way about him. He had been understandably uncertain about his own ... appeal ... since he was so new to this. He just beamed at Alex's words. When they got into the car Alex looked over at him and smiled. "I swear to God, you are just glowing. Happy, baby?" "Love when you call me that ... yeah. I am. Can I have just one kiss?" Smart was aching already and needed to taste just a little. "Like either of us can stop at one. But yeah, come here and let's see how restrained we can be. We have 108

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reservations, you know." Alex leaned toward the middle of the car a little and met Smart and there were only sighs and heavy breathing for a while. Alex sort of inhaled Smart's lips. Their tongues tangled and it was a long time before Alex finally pulled away. "Damn it. You are addictive. I could come just from the taste of your mouth. You! Sit over there. Here, I got this for you. Open your surprise and then we have to go." Smart laughed and leaned back into his seat and took the gift from Alex. Should he have brought something? Oh well, too late now. He'd have to make up for it later. What Alex had brought for Smart was a silver bookmark inscribed with the words "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience.— George Bernard Shaw". He smiled, knowing Alex was telling him he was pleased with not only his being smart, but his eagerness to experience everything with Alex. "This is just perfect. Thank you for thinking of me ... and for recognizing that I want to experience more and more with you." He leaned over and put his hand on the back of Alex's neck to bring him forward for a sweet, sweet thank you. His lips clung and didn't want to let go. Finally, on a rough groan he pulled back and said, "Now I'm really hungry ... in more ways than one. Thanks for this. We better go if we are going, 'cause I am finding it hard to think of anything but you and ... no, if I start cataloging all the things I like about you, we'll be at it again. Come on." Alex drove smoothly and efficiently to one of the best restaurants in town. Smart was impressed. He'd never eaten 109

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there. He raised his eyebrows as they pulled up and the valet came for their keys. Alex said, "I invited you, I'm paying, so no awkward arguments over checks later. We'll do Dutch next time. This time I want to treat you. I want to make this a memorable night. How'm I doin' so far?" "I'm probably happier right now than I have ever been. I feel ... such potential. There is so much hope for more and better with you. I don't want to scare you off, but I could so fall for you in a big way." "Told you before, not scaring me. Come on." Alex took his hand and led him into the foyer of the restaurant. Smart was thrilled that he was part of a couple and that Alex wasn't afraid to show the world they were together. He noticed the pretty hostess checking out Alex and then seeing their hands and sort of shrugging. That's right, honey. He is not for you. He is definitely for me, he thought to himself. Supper was delicious. They shared appetizers, and once Alex reached over and fed Smart one of his fried artichoke hearts. Mmm, good. He smiled into Alex's eyes and returned the favor with one of his cheese sticks. They laughed when it wouldn't break off and stretched between them. They both brought a hand up and snapped it off, and Smart put the other half in his mouth. They really enjoyed every minute of their time together. Smart learned more about Alex. His parents were both gone, long ago, and he had been on his own since he was eighteen. He was now twenty-three and Smart thought he had it all together. 110

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He'd gone to school and then decided he wanted to work in the medical field, starting as an EMT and then deciding he wanted to go a little further. He trained as a tech at the hospital. He wanted to spend more time with the people he was helping. He was smart enough to know that his big heart was what set him apart from others. Smart explained about his life and how he got his name and how excited he was to be in a big city. He talked about the loneliness of his life in the small town he was from, being in the closet. He laughed with Alex while telling about meeting Tommy and Mike and running from Donnie. He took a second to wish he had known how much trouble The Ugly One would be later. He even told Alex about walking in on the couple making love and how it had made him want the same thing for himself. They smiled at each other, and Smart remembered being with Alex that afternoon and making love in that way for just that reason. "God, I'm stuffed. I have to tell you, I've never enjoyed a meal more. Tell me we're not getting dessert." Smart leaned back and rubbed his stomach and smiled over at Alex, who was also leaning back to make more room for his full stomach. "Well, I was kind of thinking of ordering and taking it home with us. It should be fine in the car during the movie and then we could do something to work up an appetite for something sweet. What do you think? What do you like? Let's see what they have tonight?" He put it as a question to Smart, who nodded, smiling. 111

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Smart ordered some kind of demon chocolate cake thing and Alex went for the blackberry dessert. Nothing as common as a cobbler, but basically that was what it was. "You up for sharing again later?" Alex asked as the waiter brought them boxes to take with them. "Hell, yes." Smart smiled just thinking about it. They discussed movies while waiting for their car to come round and both decided on a romantic comedy. They both liked action movies but there wasn't one out right then that they wanted to see. Both were ready for laughter and love, so off they went, the dessert safely stored in the back floorboard, to be enjoyed later. They laughed during the movie and Smart was again thrilled when Alex reached over for his hand. They were sitting near the back and there was no one in the row behind them. Alex moved his thumb back and forth across his palm. He shivered a little. He took his eyes off the movie and turned to find Alex looking at him instead of the show. He smiled and just leaned over and put his lips right over Alex's. Slow, soft, sweet. He pulled back and they sighed in unison. "I want to go ... now." Smart whispered, his mouth still near Alex's. Alex reached up and put his hand to Smart's cheek and rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip. "You hungry, baby?" Smart winked at him and said, "Mmhmm. Hungry for a lot of things. You?" He leaned back in for another quick kiss before Alex could answer. Alex put both hands on Smart's shoulders and pushed him back. Before Smart could say 112

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anything he was up and had reached his hand out for Smart to take. Smart wasted no time. He took that hand and the two of them headed for the car at a rapid clip. Alex even put his arm up around Smart's shoulders and they bumped hips going through the parking lot. "Quick, get in. I can't take a chance on kissing you now. I want you too much." "God, I'm glad it's not just me. I feel like such a horn dog. I'm so hot for you, I'm not gonna last past the first touch and then I'll be embarrassed." "No reason. You think I'm not about to lose it? Besides, how could I be anything but thrilled that you want me as much as I want you? When we get there, you grab the desserts and I'll get the door open and I'll meet you ... probably against the wall like last time." Alex gave him a wide grin. "I lose my cool when I'm about to get you naked, you know?" "Mmhmm." He knew. It happened pretty much like Alex predicted. The desserts were deposited on a table and Smart turned to find Alex locking the door. He reached out and started undoing Smart's pants. "Help me here," he said. "Don't want to make a mess in those pants do you? "Damn, you're smart." "No," Alex said, "you're Smart." "Goof." Smart helped him and as soon as his pants were open and pushed out of the way, Alex had a hand full of Smart's cock. He leaned up and put his tongue in Smart's ear, 113

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then whispered, "I want this in me before the night is over." Smart came all over Alex's hand. "God, you are so sexy. I knew I wouldn't last long but that was unfair. You knew I'd lose it if you said that to me, didn't you?" Smart just dropped his head to Alex's shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. He felt weak and strong at the same time. He was sort of shuddery and full of energy. "Thought you might like that." Alex smiled at Smart's words. He pushed his hips into Smart's and rubbed a little, moaning at the sensations. Smart was quick to take his turn, and it wasn't long before he had Alex's cock in his hand. Alex's eyes went wide when Smart dropped to his knees and took Alex right into his mouth. He managed to lick around the head and slide down almost to the base before Alex shot hard down his throat. He shook and held tight to Smart's shoulders. "You're a natural, lover. You not only enjoy getting, but you show such joy in giving. Shit, you are good at that." Finally Alex eased back and Smart said, "I'm trying ... really hard not to think about how we look with our pants around our feet and our dicks hanging out under our shirts. Now isn't that a vivid image for you?" As he had expected, Alex cracked up. Neither of them could move for fear of falling over their feet. "Here, I'll help you, then you help me." Smart dropped down again and pulled off Alex's shoes and then one by one slid his pants legs off. He stood as he worked his way up the buttons of the blue shirt that had made Alex's eyes look 114

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gorgeous all night. Smart pushed the shirt over Alex's shoulders and leaned in to lick a collarbone. "Me, now." Alex took care of undressing Smart in a matter of seconds. "Come on, lover. I've been thinking about this for days. I really wanted to give you the date, though. I wanted you to know that it is not just sex with me. Not just lovers, but friends, too, you know?" Alex pulled Smart by the hand toward the bedroom. "Hey?" Smart stopped him for a second. Alex turned back to him, his eyes a question. "I loved that you wanted a date. I did, too. It meant a lot ... and the gift was cool. Thank you for that. Now, take me to bed and let's fuck our brains out all night." He looked right into those hot blue eyes. "I want to spend time just touching you all over. I want to know you from your gorgeous head to your little toes. I want to cuddle with you after every time we come." He put his hand up and cupped Alex's cheek, caressing him softly. "I want to hold you and have you hold me. I'm torn between wanting to jump on you and just be gentle with you, so I want to do both. Okay?" After the sweet speech he was a little uncertain that maybe he sounded silly. "Nothing would make me happier, baby, all of it. Come on." Alex drew Smart to him for a long, slow, sweet kiss, complete with hands moving all over Smart's body. He echoed the moan from Smart and slid his lips over Smart's face to his throat, then down to a spot below his collarbone and he began to suck up a mark. Smart gasped and shuddered as he tingled all over at the hot pain. It made him hard as a rock again, and he just groaned and held on 115

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tight to Alex's shoulders. Shit, who knew that would feel like that? Alex pulled off him and smiled at the stunned look on Smart's face. "That is just sexy as hell. That mark means you're mine. It should last for days. Every time you see it or feel it rubbing against your shirt, know that I put it there to mark you just for me. Am I being too possessive?" he asked, looking right into his lover's eyes. "No ... uh ... makes me horny as hell. That felt so ... good. I never knew. And I like the idea of being yours. S'that mean you're mine, too?" "You know it. Wanna mark me? Yeah, I can see you do. How about right here?" He pointed to a spot right over his left nipple. Smart looked at him for a second, then leaned over, put his tongue to that sweet tight little bud and licked it over and over. Then he sucked it into his mouth, knowing that Alex loved it. Then he slid his mouth up a little, just put his teeth together, pressed his lips tightly to Alex and sucked hard, pulling the blood up to the top of the skin under his mouth. He felt Alex shudder and hold on to him, gasping. "Oh, baby. You are something else. Come on, I need to get horizontal really soon. You turn me on like nothing I've ever known. Ready to go to bed with me?" "More than ready." Smart took his hand and walked with him into the bedroom and they fell onto the bed that Smart realized was clean, but turned down, waiting for them. Alex had thought of everything. Had to love a man like that. Just had to. 116

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They rolled into each other and pressed together from lips to hips. They moved a little to line their cocks up against each other and began to move back and forth, creating a wonderful friction that had Alex humming into Smart's mouth. He pulled back a little and swept his tongue across Smart's bottom lip, took it between his teeth to pull just a little, and then soothed it again with his tongue. Smart's came out to meet his, and they teased each other with just the tips of their tongues for a few seconds. It wasn't long, though, before they were once again fully engaged in a tight, hot kiss. "So sexy, man. So good. I want you, want to feel you in me. You ready? You okay for that, Smart?" Alex asked, his lips still moving against Smart's. "Yeah. Dream about it. Want it, too. But I want to make sure I don't hurt you. I'm a little nervous. First time and all, you know? But, God, I want to know what it feels like to be deep inside that fine, fine ass. Come on, give me the stuff." Smart really was nervous about doing something wrong or too soon or something and ending up hurting Alex, but he guessed he would be able to figure it out. Alex laughed and reached over to the bedside table and handed him over the lube. "I'm not worried at all. I don't think you need coaching. I told you that you were a natural. Just get me ready, stretch me a little, and then ease your way in. Once you've pushed in a time or two you can probably go as hard as you want. I want to feel you for days. I like the mark on you, by the way. Makes me hot. Come on, now, oh! Yes! Like that, mmm, you've got a way about you." 117

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Smart moved his fingers back and forth into that tight little hole and he had such curiosity about what he was finally doing. He wanted to find that spot and make Alex fly. He reached in further and turned his fingers, crooking them down and Alex jumped and shouted. "Yes! Again!" Smart smiled and pegged it again. It was just a smooth sort of knot that, now that he knew about it, he would return to it over and over. He planned on finding it later with his dick and making Alex really crazy. He added another finger and spread them wide in a scissoring motion. He watched as a flush ran up Alex's body. He leaned over, took a nipple into his mouth and sucked as he got his lover ready to take him. "Enough, God, come in me. I'm ready. I'm about to die here. Please, Smart, take me now." Smart needed no more encouragement. He got more lube and stroked his cock up and down a couple of times, eager to experience this with Alex. He put the tip right up against Alex's tight hole and pushed in. It was harder than he expected to get it in. He looked to see if it was hurting Alex. Nope, didn't look like it. He pushed a little harder and the head was in. Alex groaned and pushed against him forcing a little more in. "Don't stop, babe, don't stop. Feels so good. I want it all." Smart followed orders and pushed until he was all the way in and he just looked at Alex, at the stunned look on his face. Amazing. It felt fucking amazing. Oh, he should move, huh? He pulled back out almost all the way and then eased back in. Ah, God, he loved that. He started moving back and forth, in and out, and just couldn't believe how good it felt. 118

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"God, you're so hot. You are amazing. Stop a minute. No, nothing's wrong. Just want to try something. Show you something. Here, pull out a minute." Alex smiled at Smart's expression. He didn't want to stop for anything, but he followed instructions and eased out of Alex to lean back on his heels. Smart's eyes widened when Alex moved up onto his hands and knees right in front of Smart and sort of wiggled his butt at him. "Wanna come back in now? You'll love it like this; come on." Smart was quick to comply and then he was groaning aloud at the sensations assailing him when he pushed easily back in after spreading Alex's cheeks with his hands. He put his hands on Alex's hips and just went to town. Alex was looking over his shoulder, encouraging him on and he moved in and out, over and over, harder and harder. So tight, so smooth and hot inside there. "Yes, fuck! You are ... so ... hot. Alex, I'm not gonna last much longer. This is fantastic. Oh, where's ... mmm ... there it is." He moved up and tilted down a little and was able to feel that magic spot again. He was rewarded with a yelp from Alex. He reached and grabbed Alex's cock, pushed his thumb hard onto the slit on the end, and Alex sprayed all over his hand. He pumped into him a few more times and then he was coming deep into Alex. He shot over and over until he was weak as a kitten. Alex eased down onto the bed and Smart followed him down. Smart pulled out of him very gently, slid over and took Alex in his arms. 119

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As promised, he nuzzled into Alex's neck and lined them up for a cuddle. They leaned into each other for a long, wet kiss, breathing deeply into each other's mouths. Finally, their breathing slowed and they languidly nibbled and licked at each other 'til they relaxed into a soft slumber. Smart ended up asleep on Alex's chest, face in his neck, his arm curved up and his hand covering the mark he'd made earlier.

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Chapter Thirteen "Hey." Smart opened his eyes and looked right into Alex's bright blue ones. "Hey, yourself." "Got a plan. Wanna hear it?" Alex began moving his hand over Smart's back and down to his buttocks, smoothing and scratching; it felt wonderful. "Mmm. Loved all your plans so far. What?" Smart really wanted to never move from this spot. Before he told him, Alex leaned over a little and kissed him softly, a morning 'hey'. Smart woke right up and participated in the sweet kiss. It was nice to nuzzle and lick and be soft and careful with each other. "Mmm. Shower, dessert, and more touching, followed by ... mmm, even more touching, coming, kissing, tasting, and more touching. I like the touching a lot. In for my plan?" "Yeah, change the order?" "To?" "Uh, shower, touching, coming, touching, dessert, more touching, coming, kissing, tasting, and more touching, oh, and more kissing. I like the kissing as much as the touching. Like the changes to the plan?" "New plan approved, with one minor change. Kissing first." And with that Alex took Smart's mouth with no restraint. He pushed him up and over, then leaned down over him and just pushed his tongue right in. They were fully engaged in 121

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seconds. Arms circled and clung and they were lined up and moving against each other, breathing heavy again. Before they knew it the plan changed again. They kissed so hard their teeth clacked together and they eased off a little, tongues circling and sliding together. In just a few minutes both groaned at about the same time and jerked their hips together as hot come covered their torsos. Alex just slumped onto Smart and laughed. "Oops. Change of plans again, I guess. Hope you don't mind. Kissing you sort of leads to other things. Shower now?" "In a minute. Remember? Cuddle now, always cuddle after coming." "Again, I approve. Cuddle me." Smart smiled up at Alex, pulled him close and just held him, smoothing his hands over Alex's back and shoulders. He massaged like Alex usually did and was rewarded by a deep satisfied rumble. Smart loved making Alex feel good. So for a little while they cuddled. They kissed, touched, slid a little, and laughed as the come dried between them. "Shower now, definitely," Alex said. "Yeah, and that dessert is sounding really good. Can't wait to share." The shower was heavenly. Smart reveled in the wonderful sensations of Alex and water. He indulged his desire to touch his lover all over. He was standing behind Alex with both arms around him when he stilled suddenly. His lips, which had been busy sliding over the nape of Alex's neck and over his shoulder, stopped in the middle of a kiss. 122

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"What?" Alex spoke carefully, as if he knew something was wrong. "I'm scared..." Smart admitted. Alex tried to turn to him, but Smart held tight and wouldn't let him. So Alex relaxed in his arms and just waited to see what was on his mind. He prodded Smart by pushing back into his arms a little. "I'm afraid this won't last. I've never been so happy in my life. This is just too ... too good to believe. I'm afraid I'll do something to screw it up or drive you away or ... I'm sorry. I'm just having a moment of ... of this is too good to be true, it can't last..." Smart was embarrassed at his insecurity. "Hey. Lemme go. I'm not responding to that with my back to you. I want to look at your face when I tell you this." Smart let his arms slide down and he let Alex go. Alex kept in full contact while he turned to face Smart. "I'm just like you. Yes, I am older and I wasn't a virgin like you, but that doesn't mean I've ever felt like this before. And." He paused and put his arms around Smart, then slid them up so he could cup Smart's face in his hands. "...and I can get just as nervous and think it is just too good to be true. But, baby, it is. This is real. I love being with you. I've loved everything I've learned about you and I know there is a world more to learn. You're not alone in wondering if this will last. But, here's what we'll do. You listening to me, now?" He leaned a little closer, looking right into Smart's eyes. He smiled a little as Smart nodded, his head moving in Alex's hands. "We both want this to work. I think we are both smart enough, no pun intended, to be careful with each other. Be 123

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truthful about our feelings and up front about our needs and expectations. You get worried about something, you tell me. I want something from you, I'll tell you." He looked right into Smart's eyes. Smart nodded, biting his lip as he heard the words that made him relax a little. "It's the only way I know to be. Don't be afraid to tell me or ask me anything. With you I want complete and utter trust. I want a relationship with you. It's not too soon as far as I'm concerned. Sounds like you feel the same way. Are we good?" "Yeah, we're great. I feel a little silly, but better now. I just don't want to lose this." Smart put his hands up to cover Alex's on his face and leaned in the tiny bit necessary to take his lips. He pushed hard and they pretty much ate at each other. Alex slid his fingers up onto Smart's head and held him tight. Smart mimicked him grabbing hold and just kissing him, deeply, 'til the water ran cold. "Whoo! Ouch. Out! Out!" Alex laughed and they ducked out of the shower, trying not to slip on the floor of the bathroom. Alex turned off the shower, and Smart grabbed a big towel and was waiting when Alex turned back. He wrapped him in the big soft towel and drew him in for a kiss and a snuggle. He nuzzled his face in Alex's neck and breathed him in. "That's your spot, huh?" Alex smiled and rubbed his cheek on Smart's head. "Mmhmm, love it here. I could just stay, but ... um ... hungry?" "You betcha, babe, me, too. I'm ready for something else sweet. Here, let's get you dry, too. Turn around, yeah, nice 124

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shoulders, dude, and sweet, sweet, ass. Consider me a fan." Then he popped Smart's ass with his hand and leapt out of the bathroom. In the bedroom he stopped suddenly just so Smart would run into him. "Hello, there. Good evening sir, could I interest you in one of our special desserts this evening?" Smart cracked up at the sight of Alex standing there naked with a sock over his forearm like a towel and offering to serve him. "Love it. You serve all your guests like this?" He just smiled as Alex led him to the bed and sat him down. "Oh, no, sir. This is strictly a private party. I'll be your host this evening. Just a moment and I'll serve you. Would you like some coffee, tea, or something else with your dessert this evening?" Alex kept it up. "Coffee sounds good. You sure you don't want me to help you?" Smart looked around for something to put on and snagged a big bathrobe off a chest at the end of the bed. "Yeah, come on, man. We'll go make domestic in the kitchen. Would rather share the chores with you, talking and laughing, than keep up the act. Come on." Alex pulled him up, stopped by the closet and grabbed a short robe. He tied it as they went into the front room. They made coffee, heated the desserts, and really enjoyed sharing all of it, then cleaned up together and walked arm in arm back into the bedroom. Alex led Smart to the bed, and slipped both their robes off. They went into each other's arms and enjoyed a long hug, swaying a little. It was a sweet, tender moment. There was nothing hurried or frantic about it. They both enjoyed the 125

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closeness. Alex moved his head a little and their lips met and that, too, was tender. "Sleepy, baby? Wanna snuggle and snooze, or you want to get down and dirty and play some more?" Alex asked against his lips, just smoothing them back and forth, gently, repeatedly. "What do you want to do? I like both options." Smart was serious. He was so happy that either choice would be great with him. "Let's just snuggle and see what happens. If we go to sleep, cool. If we can't keep out hands and mouths to ourselves, that's cool, too. How's that?" "You have the best ideas." Smart hummed into his mouth and they swayed for a few more minutes. Together they sat on the bed then crawled up together and lay facing each other. "Tonight was wonderful, Alex, all of it. Thanks for asking me out on my first real date." Smart leaned up a little and laid his lips against Alex's. They opened and he thrust right in. Oh, he wanted more. He thrust in and out and groaned when Alex clutched him tighter. He let Smart control the kiss, opening wide and letting Smart tongue-fuck his mouth, breathing deeply through his nose and kneading the muscles in Smart's back. Seemed like the decision had been made. They pressed together and moved just right to line up their cocks again and before long each was near coming. "Wait." Alex pulled away, slid down and took Smart right into his mouth and down to the root. Smart clutched his 126

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shoulders and head and just keened as he came into Alex's mouth. He shot over and over and lay back, his eyes rolling in his head. Alex grinned up at him. Smart reached down and pulled Alex up again, up and up until he was straddling Smart's head, his dick right in front of Smart's mouth. He held onto the headboard and let Smart do what he wanted. Smart licked Alex's cock all the way down and back up again before sucking hard. Smart smiled around Alex's cock when the noises started. He reached back and softly rolled his balls around in his sack, moving the soft skin over and around, smoothing his fingers across the sensitive skin back to Alex's tight little hole. "God, you're not a bit shy are you? You make me feel so good. Virgin, hell. You must have had some vivid dreams. Mmm ... yes." Alex was moaning almost non-stop. "There, baby, there, again. Oh. Push right in, just be gentle with no lube. No, it's okay, it'll burn a little, but it will feel so good. Easy, yeah? God, I'm gonna come in your mouth. Oh ... oh ... yes!" He came, pushing his hips forward and fucking Smart's mouth. Finally he was able to slide down and lay beside Smart again. "Mmm. Smart." He was fucking incoherent. Wasted. "Mmm. Alex." Smart answered, then chuckled and said, "Mmm ... Smart Alex." "I know. Cuddle time again, huh? Kiss me, let's swap come and then we can nap a little together." They kissed and laughed at the taste of each other and then fell into a sated and relaxed sleep. 127

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Chapter Fourteen Smart called his parents and explained that he was going to help a sick friend out and would be a couple of days late getting home for Christmas break. He would still be coming back early to spend time at Tommy's after Christmas. Mike was scheduled to get out of the hospital that night, and everyone was relieved and optimistic. Smart got to Mike's room and heard Tommy speaking quietly to Mike. "Don't worry about it. I know it'll get better. It was bound to happen with everything that's happened. Trust me, okay?" Tommy was trying to ease Mike's mind about something. "Hey, guys. Who wants to go home today?" Smart eased up to the side of the bed and looked at Mike. Damn. He looked haggard. He should have been happy and excited about leaving the hospital, and he had circles under his eyes and they were red. He looked sort of shaky. "What's up? Why don't you look more excited? Your parents are due any minute and they'll think Tommy's been abusing you or something." He tried to get a little humor in there. "Mike, close your eyes. Rest them a little. I'm going to talk to Smart a minute outside, okay? I'm not going far." Smart turned and left with Tommy, waiting to hear what was wrong. When they reached the hall, Tommy leaned against the wall, looking at his friend. "It's finally caught up with him. He's scared to leave. Even though we're going to my house, God bless his parents on 128

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that, he's nervous. He hasn't slept the last two nights. Not real sleep. He keeps dreaming and moving around and I think he's reliving the attack. He's really not doing so good right now. I'm worried." Tommy looked like his heart was breaking. Alex had hooked them up with a counselor from the hospital who had been in a few times to speak to Mike, but he hadn't responded well to the man. Smart wished he could think of something to help. He put his hand on Tommy's shoulder and rubbed. "I'm sorry, man. This just keeps on sucking." Alex came up then and frowned. "What is it? Mike's okay, right? Going home?" Tommy explained the situation to him. Alex thought a minute and sprung his surprise, the reason he was really there in the middle of the day. Smart hadn't had time to wonder about that. "I've got another surprise. See what you think." He was talking to both of them, but he was looking at Smart. "Mr. Hardcastle called me and invited me to come spend whatever vacation time I had over the holidays with you all. I'm free for the next two days." He smiled kind of shyly. "I always work the major holidays so some of the ones with families can be home. But I've arranged to be off for about two weeks after that. It seems I've not taken a vacation since coming to work here. I never even thought about it, but it went through with no problem." Alex looked at Smart and they smiled at each other. "Well, I don't have to ask how you feel about the idea," Alex said, still grinning at Smart, "but how about you, 129

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Tommy? Maybe if I come along now then return for a few days at least, Mike might feel more relaxed, you know, more comfortable with someone he's used to being around him ... it's up to you. Whatever you think is better for Mike." "You'd do that? I mean, spend your time off with us?" Tommy looked both concerned and hopeful. "I think it might help Mike adjust to being away from here. If you're sure, let's go see what he thinks." All three turned as Mike shouted from inside the room. "No! No ... please ... please stop. Nnnhh!" They hurried into the room and Mike was thrashing around on the bed. Just as they got there his cast hit the table that was partially over the bed and the pitcher of water went flying along with some papers. The noise had finally awakened Mike, and he was panting and looking wildly around the room. As soon as Tommy reached the bed, he took Mike's hand in his, put his other on Mike's neck, and started crooning to him. "Easy, baby. I'm here. Hey, it's me. There you are, just rest those eyes on me and listen. It's okay. You were dreaming again. There's my Mike. Keep looking at me and listen, okay?" Tommy's hand shook when he touched Mike's face gently. "Dad's on his way to pick us up and we've got a surprise for you. How would you like it if Alex came home with us? Would that make you a little more comfortable? You'll have me and Smart and Alex at your beck and call. You don't have to worry. What? What's the matter?" Mike looked agitated. "I made a mess." Mike sighed. 130

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Alex stepped up and said, "And who here cares about that? Not me, you, Smart? Tommy? Nope. Least of your worries, man. Now I'm gonna see about getting them to give you something to relax you so the trip home won't be so bad on you. I think the next few weeks will be just what you need." He glanced to the door and frowned. "Oh, look, here's your parents. Heads up. We'll all get you through this." Smart and Alex eased out into the hall, and Smart grabbed him and hugged him. Alex chuckled and hugged him back, rubbing a quick hand over his head. Smart snuck a quick kiss against his spot on Alex's neck and pulled back before someone caught them. "You have the best ideas. I think I told you that. I would so love to spend more time with you. No jobs, no hospital. I mean, I think being there will help Mike and I think it's a really good idea for you to go ... for him ... and especially for me. I could come back with you, go on home for Christmas and then meet you back here to go back to Tommy's. Cool?" "Yep. Good plan. We'll work it all out. You and I can follow them today and then we'll be good to go after Christmas. By the way, I got you something for Christmas. Since we won't be together on the day, you want it before or after?" Alex smiled at Smart's expression. Eagerness. The boy did love surprises. "Well, it just so happens I have something for you. But, I'd kind of like to be alone when we swap, so could we maybe go to your apartment when we meet here to go up after Christmas?" 131

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"Sure. That's cool. We'll arrange it so we have a good amount of time for thank yous, huh?" He smiled and after looking both ways, leaned over, grabbed the back of Smart's neck and pulled him in. He swiped his tongue across Smart's lips and flicked in for a sweet second before pulling back. "Mmm. No fair. Want more." Smart flushed and wanted to lean back in. "Later. That's a promise. Any idea on the sleeping arrangements there?" "None. I mean, Tommy and Mike didn't even sleep together when we were there before ... not that anyone knew about anyway. We all had our own rooms." Smart paused, looked thoughtful. "We'll see. Between you and me, I'll do anything I can to see that they get to sleep in the same bed. Would that be safe for Mike?" "Yeah, sure. He just needs something to rest that cast on. I agree. I think if he could sleep with Tommy wrapped around him and no interruptions, he might be able to let go, relax, and sleep all night. I'll even say that to Mr. Hardcastle." Alex hoped they could work it out—Mike needed unbroken sleep as much as he needed Tommy. Smart nodded. "I think it'll be all right. Mitch has really stepped up so far. May have to watch it when the Donaldsons come down for Christmas, but that can be worked around. We won't be there then, but they'll have a couple of nights to get into the groove." Good-byes were said, arrangements were made, and they were off at last. Smart and Alex followed the big dually and they were able to enjoy the ride down, talking, laughing, and 132

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planning. Alex helped to make sure Mike's ride down was safe and comfortable as possible. Mr. Hardcastle didn't bat an eye when Tommy slid in the back with Mike. There were two big pillows for Mike's cast to lie on. Tommy sat with his back against the door and Mike snug between his legs, back resting against him. His left arm circled Mike and their heads leaned together. Alex watched Tommy glance up and nod his head at his dad. Mr. Hardcastle started the big noisy truck and headed out. Alex realized that he really liked that man. What a big, understanding heart he had. He was looking forward to this couple of days and seeing just how much Mike really needed and how to go about seeing he got it. Spending time with Smart was icing on the cake. He had another surprise up his sleeve for all of them. He needed to meet with Mrs. Hardcastle and arrange some time in the kitchen. He was looking forward to tomorrow night. He had brought a special big box of supplies with him. He planned to impress his baby. **** Mrs. Hardcastle turned out to be as wonderful as her husband. She and Alex hit it off immediately and were soon in the kitchen making some kind of secret plans. Tommy, Smart, and Mitch got Mike settled in Tommy's room. Instead of the full size bed that had been there, a new queen size bed was waiting. It didn't look like Alex was going to have to talk to Mitch about anything. He knew what Mike needed. As a 133

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matter of fact, Mitch called Alex to come in after they'd gotten Mike settled. There were several chairs in the big room and he asked them all to sit for a minute. "I'm going to lay it on the line here. Marie and I talked about this. We know you all are together, as lovers, when you are at school. Let's face it; it would be silly for us to keep you apart. Your situation is different. It's not like we want you to wait 'till your wedding night." He kept his eyes on Tommy and continued. "We both believe that it would be in the best interest of Mike's recovery that you be allowed to sleep together here in peace, knowing that we approve of you all being together. I know it might be a problem for Mike's parents when they are here and we'll handle that however we need to in order to keep peace with them. Comments?" He finally looked at all three of them. Tommy left Mike's side and went to his dad. "Thanks, Dad. I love you. Your acceptance of my love for Mike has always been there, but this is just so ... great of you." He hugged his dad and turned to take Mike in his arms. Mike sighed and relaxed into Tommy's shoulder. "As for you two," Mitch said, turning to Alex and Smart and pausing dramatically. "...Same goes. If I separate you, you'll only sneak around to be together. Go ahead and put Alex's stuff in your room, Smart, and we'll all act like old married couples while we're here. How you handle yourselves in your rooms is none of my business. Just don't embarrass my wife or Mike's parents." He smiled at the looks of gratitude on all four faces, then turned and left the room. 134

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"No way, man. That did not just happen." Smart still couldn't believe how lucky Tommy and Mike were. Such openminded acceptance. "Hey, guys, we're gonna go set up our room. I was talking with Marie in the kitchen. We've got about three hours before supper. I suggest you snuggle down and try to rest a little before then. No getting wild and crazy yet, okay?" Alex grinned over at them. Smart looked over with a grin and noticed a sort of dark cloud come over Mike. He looked like he was in pain for a moment. Then Tommy said, "No problem. We're both ready to settle in for a real full-body hug and then some serious zzzs." Alex and Smart left and went down the hall to another big room. This bed was a full, but plenty big for the two of them. They closed the door and turned into each other for a long, tight hug. "Did you notice the..." Smart started at the same time that Alex said, "I'm worried about Mike." They stopped, looked at each other and smiled. "Same wavelength. Here, sit with me." Alex climbed up on the bed, right in the center with his back against the headboard and spread his legs, patting the spot between them for Smart to climb up. Smart did and rested with his back against Alex, who then enclosed him in his arms. "This is nice." Alex said, "I think we both noticed something off with Mike while ago. Tell me what you thought." 135

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"I don't know. Just for a second there it seemed like he was scared at the idea of being with Tommy ... like making love to him again." Smart paused. "I don't think they tried anything in the hospital. Tommy was so gentle with him. Even all the kisses were soft and easy. Why would Mike be afraid of Tommy?" "Hon, I don't think he is afraid of Tommy. He was just so hurt, so traumatized that he is unsure of himself. He's not the Mike he was. He was so sure of himself and so sure of Tommy's love and desire for him." Alex absentmindedly smoothed his hand over Smart's chest and stomach as he talked it out. "It could be that he wonders why Tommy hasn't tried anything, or it may be that Tommy knows something's off and is afraid to try anything yet." "We'll keep an eye out and ... you think they'd talk to me ... or you ... or maybe even both of us about it? I know they're comfortable with you. I mean, on the one hand, it's really none of our business. But, on the other hand, we're part of them, you know? Together because of them even." He wrapped both arms around Smart tighter and held on. "We're both here to make things easier for them. We want to help Mike recover, not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. I've never seen a closer spiritual bond than between those two." "You're right. We'll be aware and see if we can help some way. So ... we've got almost three hours, huh? Wanna nap? Snuggle? Kiss 'til we're bruised and have lips like Angelina Jolie? Now that one sounds promising..." Smart laughed as Alex took his shoulders, pushed him up, turned him, and then 136

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pushed him down on his back. He looked up and blinked his eyes teasingly at Alex. "Kiss me, lover." He was playing, but when Alex just looked down at him, his eyes tracking over his face, looking into his eyes for a few seconds, telling him without words that he was wanted, Smart melted. Alex looked at Smart's mouth and Smart had a flashback to how he used to look at Tony Elkins like that. He reached up and put his arm around Alex's neck and pulled him down and their lips met, still softly. Seeing the love between Tommy and Mike and how much just being able to be together meant to them, they were not in a hurry to do more. They kissed and touched, just loving on each other. It was one of the things Smart had wanted so badly. Just to be with someone and touch, taste, kiss, knead muscles, become comfortable just holding and breathing together. "You always seem to know what I want. What I need," Smart whispered. "And you always act like I'm doing you a favor. Baby, haven't you figured it out yet? It's what I want, too. I love fucking and sucking and all of it with you. You make me ache pretty much all the time. I'm actually looking forward to ravishing you later tonight. But you seem surprised to find out that I like the soft, sweet stuff, too." Alex looked down into his eyes and continued melting his heart. "I want to just hold you for the next two hours. Just breathe your air and let you put your face in my neck. I want to taste your skin and touch your soft hair. I like to rub on your scalp, because I love the way it makes you shiver." He 137

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smiled sweetly as Smart shivered anyway, just listening to the beautiful words and thinking about Alex's hands on him. "We're in this together and we're more alike than you think. I'm not your teacher anymore, baby. We're pretty much even. There are things we haven't done yet, but hey, I like everything with you. Especially this." Alex leaned down again and kissed Smart with such sweet emotion that Smart's eyes burned and he clutched Alex to him.

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Chapter Fifteen It was a festive group that met for supper that night and everyone seemed more rested. Mr. and Mrs. Hardcastle were perfect hosts and made sure Mike was comfortable and, through Tommy, had planned his favorite meal. He almost seemed like the old Mike during the meal. He was obviously happy to be with Tommy and in a setting where he was comfortable. Smart was feeling better about things all around. It had been a really good idea to come here for Mike's recovery and rehab. Before long, though, Mike was looking a little tired. He had just left the hospital, after all. So they adjourned to the large living area and settled him on a large couch with those big soft pillows to rest his cast upon. Tommy settled right beside him and took his hand. After talking for a while about things they might do in the next few days, Mitch pulled out a bag from beside his recliner. It was filled with the latest DVD's and there followed a discussion of what everyone wanted to watch. No one had seen any of them due to their busy schedules and then the attack and subsequent hospital stay. They were getting things set up when Alex went to Maria and talked quietly for a moment. They turned to the others and Alex said, "We have a plan. We'll be right back." He walked beside her chair into the kitchen and the others heard mumbling and laughing. Smart was intrigued, but stayed with the others, shrugging his shoulders to show he knew nothing of the secret plan. 139

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Soon the most wonderful smells were coming from the kitchen. The three men in the living room perked right up when Maria and Alex returned, Alex rolling a large tray table. "Mmm. Brownies." Smart sniffed the air appreciatively. "They smell great! Ooh, and milk shakes? Wow. This is better than the movies." Mitch stood up, but Smart beat him to it. "Here, let me help." He pulled the huge shakes off the tray and handed them around. "I'm betting these two orangey looking things are for Mike and Alex, right? The chocolate is for Tommy and me and the vanilla for Marie and Mitch?" "Good guessing," Alex said, settling onto the sofa. "This is wonderful," Tommy said. "Mitch, you'll have to put us to work tomorrow, but tonight this hits the spot. Thanks, guys." They enjoyed good food, a good movie and real friendship. When the movie was over they all cleaned up and headed for bed. Despite their naps earlier all four young men were ready to retire. Alex and Smart followed Tommy and Mike to their room, and Alex asked if they had any questions about Mike's care. He gave him the medications he had been sent home with and approved the set up on the bed for making Mike comfortable with the pillows for his cast. Mike seemed a little quiet and Smart watched as Tommy looked at him without being able to hide the concern in his eyes. He motioned for Tommy to come out in the hall with him for a second as Alex got Mike more comfortable. "Hey. I can tell something is wrong. I'm not trying to pry, but Alex and I both feel like there is something bothering 140

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Mike. Is there anything we can do?" Smart touched Tommy's arm, knowing by the look on his face that Tommy was hurting and that they were right. "I don't know. I'm not sure how much ... if he..." He stood for a second, lost in the pain of being unable to give Mike what he needed. "Smart, I just don't know, man. You're right. But I don't know how to ... maybe tomorrow? Maybe I can get him to talk about it." Tommy looked a little relieved that he would have help and that the situation, whatever it was, might be better soon. "Alex said maybe Mike would talk to him or maybe both of us. Let us know if we can help. We love you all, you know." Smart gave Tommy a quick hug and they went back in to find Alex sitting on the bed beside Mike, talking quietly. Hmm. Maybe some progress already? "Hey, guys. You all making plans out there? Mike was telling me that I should try riding tomorrow. I don't know about that. I have to work over Christmas and I'd like to do it ... not broken." He smiled as they chuckled at his obvious fear of falling. "Maybe when I come back later, Tommy, you can teach me. He said Smart already rides." He raised his eyebrows a couple of times and said, looking right at Smart. "Maybe he'll show me later on, huh, baby?" He laughed at the blush on Smart's face. "Alex!" "What? Just because it's too early for them to get busy yet, doesn't mean I don't have plans for you and me. Don't be shy." He smiled a secret smile for Smart, then another for the others and continued. "You guys do know we're pretty 141

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much gone on each other, right? I'd like to thank you for being there since Smart got to town. You were a great example of how a couple in love acts. He's about the best thing that's happened to me." Smart was blushing again and Alex said, "Aw now, I'm sorry, am I embarrassing you?" He got up and went to Smart and took him right into his arms. Smart snuggled right in and hit his neck for just a second. He looked back up at Tommy and Mike, now together on the bed. He didn't know how the embrace would be taken by both of them. They were both smiling indulgently, though, so he relaxed. As a matter of fact, he took it a bit further and surprised them all by encasing Alex's face in his hands and taking his lips in a very thorough kiss. His lips opened over Alex's and he pushed his tongue right in. Alex wasted no time and seemed to forget for a bit where they were. His hand was up in Smart's hair and his other was down around his waist. He pulled him in and their hips were snuggled together. Smart actually moaned. "Shit, guys, get a room." Tommy laughed at them. They both pulled back but Alex wouldn't let Smart look away for a second. He kept his eyes on Smart's and said, very quietly, "I meant that, you know. I am so glad we met. You make me happy." "Me, too. All that. Let's go ... get a room." He turned to the others and said, "Sorry, guys if we ... uh, embarrassed you. We'll go now and let you get some rest. Mike, I am so 142

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glad you are here and getting a chance to rest and be with Tommy. You're going to be fine, dude." "Thanks, Smart. Night, you all." **** When Alex and Smart got to their room Alex took his hand and said, "I've got a sort of sexy surprise for you tonight. Something we haven't done. You go shower and then I will, okay? Then I intend to make you very happy." "God, you make me very happy just by being with me. But I have to admit you have me intrigued. Any hints?" Alex smiled at the look of anticipation on Smart's face. Alex reached behind him and smoothed his hand over Smart's ass, pushing in hard right over his hole. Then he leaned over and licked his lips, just licked them over and over 'til Smart's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "No way." "Yes, way. Go shower; I'm getting anxious to get you naked. Maybe after your new experience, you'd like to go for a sweet ride. I know I'd like it." "Shut up, man. My knees are already weak just thinking about all that. You are too much. I am so your guy. Okay, okay. Shower now." Smart had to step away and get his stuff for the shower that was right across the hall. He was actually shaking thinking about later. Alex just watched him. Soon they were both shiny clean, and, though Smart was nervous, he was also very excited, as evidenced by the large tent in his shorts. Alex chuckled as he walked up to him and 143

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they bumped cocks, easy to do with both of them hard enough to break rocks. "Mmm. Somebody's ready for some lovin'..." Alex leaned over and licked a line across Smart's shoulder, ending at the crook of his neck where he flicked his tongue a few times, making Smart shiver and he could swear he heard a whimper. "Shit, you've got me so hot I can't even think straight. Are you for real?" Smart was just shaking with need and excitement. "Real and hot and ready to treat you a little. Come over here, baby. Gonna make you fly." Alex stepped back and went to prepare the bed. He had brought a couple of hand towels in with him from the bathroom. He put them on the table by the bed then pulled back the spread and took one of the pillows and placed it in the middle of the bed. He put a towel over it and turned to take Smart's hand. "Climb up here and I want you right over that pillow. I'm going to take this easy. I don't want to freak you out. I'm just going to explore this gorgeous body for a little bit, first, okay?" Alex helped him get settled over the towel-covered pillow and climbed onto the bed beside him. "...'kay." Smart was able to say. He sort of hummed as Alex started moving his hands over his back. Alex kneaded Smart's shoulders and leaned down to kiss the small of his back. Smart immediately pushed back against him, asking for more. Alex smiled. He knew his baby would be able to get into anything he came up with. Alex continued to caress his lover, telling him how pretty he thought his skin was and how nice his muscles were. He 144

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told him how tight his ass was, how exciting. Smart was moving his hips against the pillow, unable to be still. When Alex pressed against his thighs, Smart spread them for him, the tension in his shoulders now showing Alex how really vulnerable he felt in that wide-open position, especially since he couldn't see Alex's face. "Feeling a little ... out there? Hey, baby ... here." He slid up, keeping his hand on Smart's ass, caressing around the globes and then sliding his fingers down the crack then back up. Now his face was close to Smart's and he leaned over and they shared a kiss, tongues fully involved. It seemed to ease Smart's nerves and he smiled right into his mouth and asked, "You up for this?" "God, yes. It's just all so ... new, you know? I want it all with you. Everything. Please, do it. I wanna know." Alex rewarded that speech with another hard kiss then slid back down the bed, reaching up to slide his hand through Smart's hair first. He patted the back of his neck, then drew a hand down the center of his back and ended up kneeling between Smart's spread legs, both hands on his ass. He smoothed, kneaded, scratched, and then leaned down and kissed each cheek. Smart chuckled. "Hmmm?" "You just kissed my ass. Gives a whole new meaning to the term for me." "Yeah? Well, next time someone uses the term 'eat me' you'll have a whole new meaning for that, too." With that he leaned down, spread Smart's cheeks, and dragged his tongue down from the top to the bottom ending at that sweet hole. 145

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He licked around and around it, teasing his lover, who started to moan. With his thumbs he spread Smart a little wider and placed his tongue right there. He pushed in and began moving it in and out, having to press down hard with his forearms to hold Smart still. He knew Smart had grabbed the other pillow and was yelling into it. He kept it up, loving how much Smart was digging it. He finally eased back a little and put a couple of his fingers in his mouth, getting them liberally wet. He put them into that spasming hole and finger fucked Smart while he reached down with his other hand and caressed Smart's balls. It took only the touch of his hand to Smart's cock for him to yell into the pillow again and come hard, squeezing Alex's fingers as they pushed into his ass over and over. Alex eased out and kissed Smart's cheeks again then just sort of lay over the top of Smart, both breathing heavily. Smart pushed up against him and Alex slid to the side. He watched as Smart tried, rather awkwardly, to kneel up and take the wet towel, fold it, and clean himself up. He placed the pillow back where it belonged then turned to take Alex into his arms. "I'm almost crying here. I've never felt anything like that before. God, that's just so ... big. I can't believe you'd want to ... you slay me, you really do." "I don't think there is anything I wouldn't do to or with you. I'm pretty much in this for good." Alex looked into his eyes, showing him how much he meant what he said. "If there is anything you want or don't want you just tell me. Really." 146

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Smart leaned over him and kissed him, tasting himself in Alex's mouth, amazed at how just the thought of that turned him on again. But now it was Alex's turn. "You mentioned giving me a ride. Wanna show me how that one works?" "Hell, yes! Come here, you." He pulled Smart over him and was tickled when Smart straddled him and sat up on his hips. He didn't need help. He reached over, got some lube and popped the top. Smearing two fingers, he reached down and Smart leaned up with his hands on either side of Alex's face and made his ass more accessible to Alex. "Good, baby. Now sit back. Go up on your knees and slide right down. Here, I'll make a saddle for you." Alex drew his knees up and made a place for Smart to lean back and take his time easing down over Alex's cock. Smart was wide-eyed with wonder and desire as his hole was breached and he slid down slowly, taking more and more of Alex into him. He smiled into Alex's eyes when he was finally flush against Alex's hips. "God bless," he moaned. He reached out with both hands. Alex met them and they held hands as Smart leaned forward and they shared a kiss. Alex put his legs down and watched Smart get used to the rhythm and the feelings. Smart was in control and he was having a hell of a good time playing with changing the angle or the speed of his movements. Now Alex was the one who pulled a pillow over his face as he yelled into it. Smart pushed down hard, squeezed Alex's cock tightly and pulled the pillow away. He bit his lips and tried to be quiet. He leaned down and said, "Stop that. Those are mine." He covered Alex's mouth completely and Alex screamed into his 147

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mouth as he shot over and over, pushing up into Smart. He crossed both arms around Smart's neck and just held him there, kissing him harder and harder. He finally just melted away. His head was rolling on the pillow as he tried to breathe. Smart slid off him, took the other towel off the table and cleaned them both up. He dropped it on the floor and turned back to Alex. "Oh, God, does that deserve the world's biggest cuddle? Come here and hold me. Try to hold me together here, I'm about to fly away. I need my spot." Smart climbed up and over Alex so he could lay with his face on his favorite spot in Alex's neck. He just sighed. "I know, baby, I know. Me, too." He pulled Smart's face up for a long sweet kiss then let him rest it back on his neck. He put his hand up into Smart's hair and smoothed it over his head. That always seemed to ease him. Guess he had a favorite spot, too. It just happened to be Smart's whole head. He massaged a little, loving on his man. He'd found his love.

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Chapter Sixteen All four young men slept in the next morning. They met at the table at about nine for a late breakfast. Alex and Smart were obviously starving, and Mitch, who came in from outside, remarked at the amount the two put away. Tommy and Mike both picked at their food and were pretty quiet. It looked like neither had gotten much sleep. "Alex, is there anything Mike should be doing ... like physical therapy stuff?" Mitch asked as he got some coffee and sat at the table with them. "No, sir, not yet. I'm going to meet with the rehab people on the way back tomorrow and set up a schedule for when I come back. I'll go in with him while I am here and by the time I've gone back to work, the routine will be set up pretty well." "That's good thinking. I'm glad you agreed to come down for the holidays with us. I think Smart is glad, too, huh son?" Smart blushed but spoke right up, "Yes, sir. Glad doesn't quite cover it. I thank you for the invitation to both of us. I'll be happy to see Mom and Dad over Christmas, but I'll be anxious to get back here for New Year's." "We're happy to have you all. Mike, you don't look like you slept well. Is everything all right? Is there anything you need?" Mitch looked and sounded concerned. Mike looked up at Tommy's dad, started to say something and tears just came to his eyes. He tried to push back from the table, but it was awkward with his cast. Tommy and Smart looked stricken, Alex looked concerned, but not surprised, and Mitch just jumped up to help Mike. They all 149

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started to get up at the same time, but Mitch waved them back down and he got to Mike first. "Here, let me help you. Why don't you come out to the sunroom with me for a few minutes? I think I've got just what you need." Mike just went where he was led, his head down. The three left at the table just looked at each other. "What the hell?" Tommy looked honestly confused. He looked at Smart and Alex and said, "What is he talking about, do you think?" "I don't know, but I think he's had a handle on most every situation so far," Alex said. "Can you tell us about last night? Something tells me it was not as restful and peaceful as we all hoped." Alex thought he was starting to figure it out, but he wanted to hear it from Tommy. "You should know you can share with both Smart and me. We want to help, not get in your business. Just tell us what's going on? Why is Mike so unhappy? Is it just the attack, the violence and trauma, or is it more?" "It's all of that ... and more. I feel funny talking about this stuff. But damn, I've got to have some kind of help. It's killing me that I'm not there for him." His voice shook. "He's not letting me be there for him and ... and I'm gonna lose it if I can't get to him. I mean, he lets me close, you know. I hold him and he lets me kiss him, but it's not like before." He looked stricken now, scared. "He doesn't hold me ... not hold me hold me. He will put his arm around me and he lets me kiss him, but there isn't..." He stopped and choked up and couldn't go on. 150

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Alex spoke quietly, "There is no passion. No fire. He's not your Mike, right?" "Yeah. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong. Hell, I haven't even really done anything. He was so hurt and I was so scared. I was afraid to scare him more or expect too much from him, but I need him." He looked at them for understanding. "Not sex. I'm not saying I want to have sex with him yet, but I need him, my Mike. I feel like I've lost him, you know?" "Yeah. You know what this reminds me of?" Alex said, looking right at Tommy. His hand under the table reached over and took hold of Smart's. "It's like when a woman gets raped. No, don't look so surprised. Listen. So often the husband or boyfriend is afraid to touch her in any sexual or intimate way because of what she's been through. Will he hurt her, scare her, make her think of what she went through, bring it all back, make things worse? Is it too soon? Does she just need comfort? Holding? Does she want more? Should he try more?" He watched closely to see that Tommy was following his words. "What if she thinks he doesn't love her anymore? When is the right time to touch her here or there or kiss her with passion again? Will she freak out? Will she cry? So he lives with performance anxiety, too. Any of this sound familiar?" Tommy's expression had changed the whole time Alex was talking. Smart could tell some of the words had hit home. Alex was a smart man. He went on. "Now Mike is like the rape victim. Does he still love me? Why won't he make love to me? Am I not sexy to him 151

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anymore? Or in Mike's case, not attractive any more? Is he turned off by how messed up I am? Is he tired of waiting for me to get better? Will I ever be the same again? Will I ever want to make love again? What if he gets tired of waiting? What if I lose my lover? What did I do to deserve this in the first place?" Alex paused and looked at Smart and then Tommy. "Some or all of that could be going on in his head. He's been traumatized from both the pain and the hate and violence that caused it. I know you recognize that and you don't expect too much of him." He spoke quietly but firmly. "You are not pressuring him, but how to know when not asking for more is what is causing you and him some of the pain and anxiety? You see where I'm going? You were both traumatized by this." He relaxed a little as Tommy nodded slowly. "The only way to start the healing, I think, is for you to talk to each other. Say all the things that are worrying you. Tell him how much you still love and want him. Tell him you will wait 'til he is ready to go there again. I know how close you two are." It was that closeness that had drawn him to them. He knew how deeply they loved each other. It was rare to see that in men so young. "It has been evident from day one. But things are so different for him. He's lost his confidence in himself, the thing that made him your Mike. He feels he is letting you down by not being able to be up and happy and ready for anything like before," Alex said. "I mean, how long will you wait for that and will you be happy if that is just not possible any more?" 152

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"I said it before and I'll say it again. I will do anything ... anything. I have to be with him. I need him as much as he needs me. Yeah, I'm taller, stronger, and I've always been sort of ... I don't know ... the dominant one in the relationship, if that is even the right word." He struggled with the words, wanting to get them right. "But don't think he's the needy one. I need him ... in any way, shape, or form. I don't care how long. I don't care if he's different. I just love him so much." Alex reached across the table and took Tommy's hand. "Man, you just have to tell him all that. Find a way, a time, and get him to talk, to let it all out and I think you'll be back on the right road." "Damn. What do you do at that hospital? I thought you were a nurse or something. I think maybe you're a shrink. You'd make a good one." Alex laughed and squeezed his hand. "Smart and I are going to go look ... I repeat ... just look ... at the horses. You go find your man." **** Mike and Mitch were in the sunroom. They sat on a big couch and Mike was curled up in Mitch's arms like a kid, just sobbing his heart out. Tommy poked his head into the room, a look of dismay on his face, but Mitch looked up and shook his head. He mouthed the words, "Not now." Tommy backed away and stood right outside the door, out of sight. Mike's sobs slowed down and he hiccupped and tried to talk. "I was so ... so ... scared and he kept on and on and he 153

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said ugly things ... and he hurt me so bad. He laughed when he stomped on my hand. I think I passed out. He had kicked me so many times and ... and ... he ... he got right in my face ... and told me my lover would never ... never touch ... me ... me ... again ... 'cause he..." He sobbed again, the fear and torment coming out. "He said I wasn't gonna be pretty no more ... and he laughed and cut me real fast, three times, swish swish swish, and I could feel blood in my eyes and I was crying then. Seems ... it seems like all I do is cry any more." Now he sounded almost angry at himself. "I want to be like I was. I want Tommy to be proud to be with me. Mr. Hard ... Hardcastle, I can't believe how good you are to us ... to me. But I'm so afraid of losing Tommy." He sighed and got quiet. "Mike, why do you think you'll lose Tommy? Just because of a couple of scars on your face? Is that all you think of my boy? That he cares about you, loves you, just because you're pretty?" Mitch's voice wasn't loud or accusing as he asked the hard questions. He knew what he was doing. Mike's head came up and he defended Tommy, just like Mitch had expected. "No! Tommy's not like that. He loves me. He ... he ... it's not his fault. It's me. I'm not me any more." "Who are you if not my Tommy's Mike? You look at me with the same blue eyes as before, you have the same sweet heart as before. Except for a couple of broken parts, you are the same Mike." He made sure Mike was looking at him as he continued. "Do you think Marie loves me less now because of the lines on my face? Do you think I love her less because her legs are 154

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not useful anymore? She's in a chair? Do I care about the chair or about Marie? Think about it." He touched Mike's shoulder and rubbed it a little, moving around to the tight tendons in his neck. "Son, you just need to talk to Tommy and share with him your fears and your needs. If you need him to leave you alone for a while, he will. If you need him all over you to show you how much he loves you, I don't think that would be a problem, either." He smiled as he got an almost-grin out of Mike. "But I think you've both been dancing around each other, both afraid to say or do too much that you haven't done or said enough, either one of you. Does that make sense?" Mitch looked down at Mike and began to ease him over and let him get a little of himself back. Mike straightened up awkwardly on the couch. He scooted back to the corner and looked at Mitch. Mitch appreciated the fact that he sat and thought about everything he said. He didn't just jump in with an answer. When it came, it almost brought tears to his eyes. "I wish you were my dad." Mike whispered. "You're so smart and good and you know so much. My dad could never talk to me like that in a million years." "Mike, I am your dad. I just about reckon you're as close to an in-law as I'm gonna get. You start calling me Mitch ... or Dad ... or whatever you want, but no more of this Mr. Hardcastle stuff." He smiled over at Mike, love evident in his eyes. This young man was family. "Now, I'm going to go back to work, and you are going to talk to the young man who's sitting on the floor right outside the door there, probably 155

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crying like the both of us. Tommy, get in here and take over for me. I think you've got the next part." They both heard Tommy clear his throat and get up. He came in wiping his face with his arm and went straight to his dad. They hugged hard and Mitch went out the door. Tommy stood for a second looking at Mike, his heart in his eyes. Mike stood and went to Tommy, walking right into him. Tommy shuddered from head to toe. He clasped Mike to him and just held on for dear life. "I love you," they both said at the same time. They looked into each other's eyes and leaned into a kiss. Finally, one with emotion to spare. It was soft, sweet, full of love and devotion. It went on and on and they started to sway a little. It felt so damn good. They weren't going to have sex. They weren't even talking yet, but they were connecting again. They were Tommy and Mike again. "Let's go to bed. I need to just hold you, and we need to get some rest, and then we need to talk to each other. Tell each other how we feel, what we need." He rubbed on Mike, happy to be holding him and really feeling like they were a unit again. "But first, know this, Mike. I'm not giving you up. Ever. We'll work everything else out, but I need you too much to let you go. Don't try, okay?" "...'kay. I couldn't leave you. Who would I be without you? I couldn't stand it. I'm sorry I haven't been able to talk to you or ... or ... you know." "I know. I know some and we'll talk about the rest. Later. Come on, I'm tired and need my Mike to hold me." Oh God, did he need his Mike. This had been almost as hard on him. 156

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He had been afraid he was going to lose the one thing that made his life ... well, his life. "It's been too long since I've slept like I should. All this has worn me out. Alex and Smart are outside with the horses; let's go to bed." They went back to their room to their big bed and after getting Mike set up with the pillows for his arm, they snuggled close and fell into exhausted, healing sleep. **** When Alex and Smart came in some time after midday, they looked in and found them asleep, tight in each other's arms. They looked peaceful and relaxed. They smiled at each other and backed out the door and went to their room to clean up for lunch. "Hey. What's this big secret you've got going with Tommy's mom? Something about tonight?" Smart knew something was up. "I'm gonna fix something for you all tonight. There is something you don't know about me. There's just never been a chance to tell you." "What in the world? You've got a secret life or something? Cool." "Well, since I've been on my own for so long I had to find something to do in free times so I took some classes. I seemed to excel in cooking classes. I took a couple just so I could quit eating frozen dinners and take-out. But the one that I really liked the most was a baking class; pastries, cakes, and special desserts. Marie and I are going to give you 157

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all a feast tonight. It'll be sort of a pre-Christmas dinner, since we won't be here then. Sound good?" He laughed when Smart tackled him and took him down to the bed. "Are you kidding? That is Christmas. You can cook? And make cakes and things? Wow. Marry me. I've found the perfect wife. Do you do laundry? How about windows ... and..." He got no further before Alex shut him up. He didn't mind though. He kissed right back, laughing and tumbling with him until Alex got serious about the kissing thing. He pushed his tongue in Smart's mouth and moved it in and out like he was pushing back and forth with his hips below. They both moaned and sighed as they kissed over and over, soft then hard, then soft again. Smart finally pulled back and leaned his face into Alex's neck. "I'm glad we've got tonight before we have to go back tomorrow. I have loved this time with you." Smart kissed Alex on the neck. "Can you believe Mitch? He is like the perfect father. I wish I could count on that kind of acceptance from mine." He looked worried as he went on. "You know I'm going to tell them when I go home, right? I'm so happy and I'm not gonna change and ever be anything else. They are going to have to accept me ... or not, I guess. It's not going to be easy, though." His parents were good people, but nothing like Mitch Hardcastle. "Boy, your mind goes from one thing to another like a train switching tracks. Good luck on the coming out thing with the parents. I'm glad we've got tonight, too." He was trying to remember all the things Smart had rambled on about and respond to them accordingly. "I think Mitch is about the 158

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coolest man I've ever met. He's just so there when he's needed. Very smart. But then I've got my own smart man, now don't I? You're my Smart, like Mike is Tommy's Mike. You are, aren't you? Mine, I mean?" Alex waited quietly for Smart's answer. "I am so yours. And you're mine. I think we belong together. I'd rather have met you in a different way, like coming in with a sprained ankle or something, but I knew right away you were something special." Smart touched Alex's face and caressed his cheek, then his lips. "You were so there for me when I needed it and for Tommy and Mike, too. You are so stuck with me. You make me very happy. What are you making for supper?"

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Chapter Seventeen They were all groaning by the end of supper that night. Alex and Marie had outdone themselves and the table even groaned a little under the weight of all the food. It was a good thing, though, because it seemed Tommy and Mike both found their appetite again, and maybe each other, too. They seemed to be a little easier with each other and able to laugh and cut up a little. There was relief all around the table. They had a card game planned for later, with Tommy and Mike as a team against Smart and Alex and Mitch and Marie. Then they were going to have the sumptuous dessert Alex had worked on. Smart could tell he was anxious for everyone to like it. He had no doubts. Supper had been fantastic. He helped set up the table in the living room for cards while Alex helped clean up the kitchen. Mitch grinned over at Smart and motioned for him to join him by the door. Now what was he up to? Smart went over and waited to find out. "I've got a surprise for the boys. They seem a little easier now. It seems like a good time." Mitch looked around, like he might be found out. "Marie knows. Go get Alex and the other two and come out back. Meet me at the barn door, okay? "Sure. Gonna give me a clue?" Smart was tickled. He hoped it was something that would make Mike even happier. "Well, I think you've forgotten something. We had a plan from early on in this and now seems the time to share it." Mitch went out, knowing Smart would follow orders, but 160

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leaving him clueless. What plan had they had that he had forgotten? "Hey, guys. Before we settle in for the game, Mitch wants us out at the barn. Maybe he's gonna make Alex ride a horse, huh?" "Uh ... not likely. Not gonna happen. Told you. Those things are huge. Come on, though, you all. I like Mitch's ideas so far. Let's go see what he's cooked up this time." They trooped out to the well-lit barn area and stood waiting, wondering what was up. Smart heard whimpering and then a soft bark, and a smile lit his face. Of course! How smart was he? He should have remembered. Oh, he hoped this went well. Mitch came out of the open barn door, his hand on the collar of the now-beautiful dog that had been there the night Mike was attacked. His guard. His champion. He saw recognition hit Tommy, who smiled and looked over at Mike. Mike looked unsure for a minute, like everyone was waiting for something from him that he didn't know what to provide. He looked to Tommy for direction. Smart and Tommy flanked Mike and moved forward. "Hey buddy. Hello again. Like your new home?" Smart moved up and put his hand out. The dog sniffed him and whined, wagging his tail. He licked Smart's hand and Smart laughed. "You remember don't you? Here, look who wants to meet you." He turned and looked at Mike. "I don't know if you remember or not, but when Tommy and I found you that night it was all we could do to get to you. This dog was there, 161

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guarding you against anyone who came up. I had to make friends with him before we could even get to you. He wasn't letting anyone near you." Mike looked at the dog and back to Smart and Tommy. Then he took a hesitant step forward. He took another step forward. The dog did the rest. He moved from Smart right to Mike and put his head against Mike's leg and whined for him. He looked up at Mike as if he knew him, knew this was his master. Mike went down on one knee and then both knees and just sort of hugged the dog with his one arm. The dog stood still and let Mike rub over his coat. There were tears in Mike's eyes. "How...?" "I heard Smart talking about it and the police said they had taken him to the pound. I figured any dog brave enough to go after the bastard who attacked you and then stand guard over you deserved better than the pound. He likes it here, I think. He needs a name though. I was leaving that for you." Mitch smiled down at Mike, who finally had a real smile on his face. There was something about a boy and a dog. Even if the boy was twenty. "What do you think, guys? He's kind of big and scruffy, but I think he's beautiful. He was my guard, huh? Tough boy, aren't you?" He rubbed the dog's head. The dog licked his hand, and then licked right up his chin to his nose, seeming to know to avoid the bandages. Smart dog. "How about Champion? Champ? He was yours that night. He was even going to go after the EMTs 'til we calmed him down. He wasn't going to let anyone else hurt you. You've got 162

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a champion there for sure." Smart suggested, obviously happy to see joy in Mike's face. He'd seemed afraid for a moment that the connection to that night would make it hard for Mike, but Champ had won out over fearful memories. "Champ it is. That's a great name. Thanks. You're ... uh ... smart." They all laughed. Mike started to get up, but needed help from Tommy as he was still a little awkward with the big cast. Champ stayed right by him, rubbing against his leg. Mike just beamed. This was good, Smart thought to himself. Mitch had come through again. "Mr ... uh ... I mean, Mitch, sir, thank you so much. This means a lot to me. I've never had a dog. Now I can have one here, and he'll always be here when I come and he's got a good home. You're the best." He reached out to Mitch who accepted the hug and patted him on the back. He nodded to Tommy and Smart over Mike's shoulder. It had been a good plan. They finally all trooped back into the house for games and dessert. Smart couldn't wait to see what Alex had worked on so hard this afternoon. They were a happy group. Things were looking up for Mike. He wasn't there yet, but he wasn't going backward like he'd seemed to be doing before. Mitch and Marie won the game and everyone cleared the table in anticipation of the long-awaited surprise. When Alex and Marie rolled the tray table in from the kitchen the others were duly impressed. The cooking duo had decorated the tray for Christmas with candles and holly. In the center was the most gorgeous cake Smart had ever seen. It had chocolate 163

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icing. Yum. And it looked like it was at least four layers. Oh man, he couldn't wait. "This, guys, is Black Forest Cake. It is one of my favorites. It's got chocolate and cherries, and that makes it great in my book." Alex smiled at the looks of pleased surprise on their faces. Anticipation shone all around, and on Smart's face—he had so much pride in Alex. There was also whipped cream and cake crumbs and cherries and a nice whiff of liquor of some kind, just a hint. Lord, it looked too good to cut, for a second there. Then they all got in line and grabbed plates. Moans and sighs followed. They all had big glasses of cold milk with it. It was just too rich to have anything else. Heaven on a plate. Smart even had a second, smaller piece. He licked his lips around the last morsel on his fork, making sure he didn't leave any of the icing on it. Damn! He was in love. The big project that night was a shower for Mike. Alex and Smart spent a lot of time adhering a large trash bag to his whole arm, covering the cast completely and sticking to his body. Alex felt sure he could shower without getting it wet. The shower across from Tommy and Mike's room was big enough for two and there was no way Tommy was letting Mike go in by himself. Smart wasn't comfortable with all the nakedness, but Alex was used to it so he helped the two get everything ready in the shower and made sure that Tommy had the situation under control. He knew Tommy would take care of Mike and knew that Mike trusted him to do so. 164

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Smart and Alex stayed right outside the door, though, in case Alex was needed. Mike could slip and that would be disastrous, but all they heard was an occasional moan or laugh as the two seemed thrilled to be together again. Evidently they had both missed showering together. **** Mike was tired of washing off or being washed. He loved feeling the water pour over him. Tommy's hands felt good as they moved the soap over his tired body. He still had some lingering bruises and bumps from the places he had been kicked. Tommy sighed over each one, kissing them to make them better. "What are you doing?" Mike asked, grinning at him. "I told them I'd kiss your booboos. Lord, I can't believe how many there are. Are you holding up okay? I need to wash a few more places then we're good." He reached up and filled his hand with shampoo. Alex had suggested they stand with his back to the spray to avoid the bandages on his face. They had been changed regularly and were getting smaller each time so they weren't so big and bulky any more. Tommy eased his hands into Mike's golden curls and scratched his head and smiled at Mike's groan. He smoothed the shampoo out and then went further down. He was a little nervous. He hadn't even tried to touch Mike there since it happened. "This okay, babe? I need to wash you real good, but I don't want you to ... to think I'm trying to..." "It's okay, Tommy. I'm not going to freak. I'm too tired to do anything, but I want your hands on me. I think I need 165

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your hands on me again. Just touching. Please..." Mike looked at Tommy with need and nervousness in his eyes. Tommy leaned in and kissed his sweet lips and nodded, moving both their heads a little. "I'll take care of you. Here, spread a little." He knelt down and used the soap to clean every inch of Mike from shoulders down to toes. He spent quality time smoothing and then rinsing his genitals. He handled Mike with such care and love. It was sweet and he felt Mike getting semi-hard, but knew it was just from being handled, not any real desire yet. He looked up and smiled. Mike was sort of reeling and he was up in seconds. "Sorry. Got a little carried away there. You look ready to fall over. We're done here." He got the shower door open and then gave in and called for Alex. He was there in seconds and they both sort of supported Mike and got him dried, medicated, and ready for bed in record time. Tommy had hurriedly dried his hair and it was sticking up all over. Mike sighed as Tommy took a brush to it. "Feels good. You're so good to me." "Always, baby. Always." **** Smart and Alex were back in their room for their last night together before going back for Christmas. "Things are going better aren't they?" Smart asked for Alex's opinion. "Yeah. He's got a ways to go, but I think they are back on the right track. It's hard. People don't realize all the ways 166

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violence affects a person. Mike has the best support group I've ever seen, though. He's a lucky guy. Speaking of lucky guys ... I think I'm one, too." He reached out for Smart and took a kiss ... then another. "You? You think you're lucky? I'm the one with the perfect wife material here." "Shut up, you. No more wife jokes or I won't cook for you anymore." He kissed Smart again. I think you like chocolate a lot, hmmm?" "Oh, mmhmm. I like chocolate and you. My two favorite things, now, and not necessarily in that order. I think you have taken over first position on my favorites list." "Wow. Better than chocolate? I am good." "Oh baby, you am ... are. You are so good. Let's be good together. I think I want a shower and after listening to them I want one with you. Okay?" "Sure. Come on, water boy. Let's get wet and slippery and then we'll celebrate our last night together for a while. Got anything special you want to do tonight?" Smart leaned close and put his face right into Alex's neck and nodded his head. Moving his lips along Alex's neck he reached up and whispered in his ear. "Surprise me."

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Chapter Eighteen Christmas was cool, mostly. The scene with his parents wasn't what he had expected. It seems that they were not as surprised as Smart had thought. They weren't happy or especially supportive, but they weren't like Mike's parents had been, either. They said they had kind of wondered why he never dated or even wanted to during school. He never talked about girls like they expected him to and they didn't want to ask, basically they said because they didn't want to know. Whatever. He was just glad to have it all behind him and didn't think he'd be taking Alex home to meet them any time soon. He loved them. They loved him. It would be a live and let live situation. He could handle that. He headed back to Alex with a clear mind and unbelievable anticipation. He couldn't wait to see him again. What, four days and he was this lost without him? Yep, he was a goner. He'd gotten an early start this morning and he would be on Alex's doorstep very soon. He was starting to get bouncy as he got closer. Happiness crept in and filled him up. There was Alex's street. His car was out front. Was it too early to wake him? Had he worked last night? Smart couldn't remember. Damn it, why hadn't he found out? If he'd only gotten off work a few hours ago, Smart didn't want to wake him. Maybe he'd sit outside the house a while and see if he saw any movement or lights or oh, look there. The door was opening and Alex stood there, arms crossed over his chest like he had been watching for him. 168

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Smart rolled down the window of the little car and looked over the top at Alex, smiling. "You just gonna sit out there or you coming in?" Smart was almost shaking he was so happy. He felt like a puppy, just bouncing and almost wagging his tail. He wanted. He reached in the back seat, grabbed a bag and headed for his handsome lover. "I couldn't remember if you worked last night, didn't want to wake you if you did, and so ... mmph..." He loved the way Alex shut him up. He found himself up against the back of the door again and dropped his bag at his feet so he could clasp Alex to him. "What is it with you and doors?" he laughed into Alex's mouth. Alex's hand was in his hair and rubbing his head, and he opened wider to let Alex's tongue move around his mouth. Ah, God, he had missed this. They were both hard and pressed together, rubbing up and down, groaning and gasping. "Never can wait any longer to get to your mouth. Missed you. I want to take you to bed. Need to. 'kay?" Alex asked, pulling back only enough to be understood. His lips were still against Smart's, still rubbing and nipping and tasting. "Please ... now." Smart was able to get out before he pushed his tongue into Alex's mouth in turn. He liked to cross his arms around the back of Alex's head and hold him tight and close. He moved his mouth over and around on Alex's, loving every second. Finally his hands eased down and he slid them down Alex's back and clasped them around his butt. He cupped it and squeezed. Alex moaned into his mouth. 169

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"Moving now." Alex pulled back and took Smart's hand, leading him into the bedroom. The few seconds away from Alex's mouth let his other senses kick in. Smells. Mmm. Wow. "I don't know what smells better, you or whatever you have cooking in there. Man, that smells delicious." "I cooked for you. Got up early, knew you'd be here early, too. It's for later." Alex took him down to the bed and they began to move against each other. They began pulling off clothes, undoing buttons and zippers and stopping to smooth and cup and feel. "I can't believe how much I missed you. Short time ... seemed like forever." Smart revealed, opening himself up to Alex. "Know how you feel. Right there with you. I worked, I slept, I ate. I just sort of existed without you here. Isn't it amazing how different life is when you have someone in it? I like the feelings I have when I know you are here or at least near. Come here, baby. Been dreaming of this." Alex took Smart into his arms and began moving against him, lining them up and moaning at the friction, their hard cocks leaking and jerking a little against each other. There wasn't going to be anything fancy this time, just touching and rubbing and ... oh, yes, coming! They stilled and just breathed into each other, smiling, and taking the occasional kiss. In just seconds Smart had his face in Alex's neck. Home. "So. Tell me about the parents. Have you heard form Tommy and Mike? I'm nervous as hell about your Christmas gift. Will you listen to me? I'm babbling. You're just going to have to shut me up here." 170

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Smart was happy to do so. He would tell him about the parents. He had heard from the others once and he didn't care what he was getting for Christmas. He had his gift in his arms. He slid his tongue into Alex's mouth, effectively shutting him up as requested. He slid it in and out rapidly and was happy to hear Alex's groan and then they were sparring back and forth. They rolled and Smart was on top of Alex and before long he was sliding down to take Alex into his mouth. Ah, he loved the sound that got him, sort of surprised joy. He was getting better and better at this. He slid his mouth all the way down, slowly coming back up. He held Alex's hard cock in his hand at the base and licked up and down and around, following the big vein on the bottom, making Alex gasp and jerk a little. He took it all in again and swirled his tongue around, then pulled back off. He began a hard suction that had Alex bucking and coming hard, right into the back of his throat. Alex was breathing hard, but he reached down to pull Smart up to him, taking his mouth immediately, reaching deep inside to taste himself. "You amaze me. You make me feel so good. Have I told you how glad I am we met? How much I want you?" He moved his hands over Smart. "I'm gonna lick you from your head to your toes, then I'm going to suck you so hard your head will spin for me again. Remember the first time? Come here, lay back and enjoy. Love the feel of you. The taste of you." 171

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Alex proceeded to do as he promised. Smart stretched, moaned, wiggled, and laughed as Alex's tongue traced his body. Then he gasped and sighed before coming so hard he did feel a little dizzy. God, what this man did to him. He loved it. "You know what time it is now, don't you?" Alex's voice had a teasing note in it. "Yep, slide back up here. I feel the need to cuddle big time. I just want to hold you, smell you, breathe you right in for a little while. I'm so happy here with you." They got themselves adjusted just like they liked it and lay for a while, nuzzling and sighing. Smart, of course, had his face pressed firmly in Alex's neck, breathing in and loving the scent that was especially Alex. In turn, Alex was lazily smoothing his hand through Smart's hair, scratching and massaging his scalp. It inevitably made Smart shiver against him. Finally, by mutual consent, they got up and showered, enjoying the hot water, soap and skin. They took the time to slide their hands over each other, enjoying the shared feeling of closeness. Attention was given to tender areas. They gazed at each other and leaned in to nuzzle and lick shoulders and lips. They dried each other amid more kisses and soft laughter. The happiness was absolutely heady. Alex handed Smart a robe off the back of the door and Smart could tell it was new. When he turned it to put it on he saw his name on the pocket. Oh, man, what that told him. "Alex, that is so cool. It's comfy, too." "I'm hoping you'll be using it here a lot." Alex leaned over and kissed him, then pulled him out toward the kitchen. 172

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"Hungry?" "Always around you. Hungry for one thing or another. You make me hungry and then you cook and I'm hungry again. But you satisfy both hungers so well." He got a nice reward for that. Mmm, Smart loved those lips. Alex had made some sort of casserole that smelled heavenly. He set the steaming dish on the table that was already set. They sat down and Alex dished up the food. They talked about the questions Alex had asked earlier. Smart explained about the conversation with his parents. He reported the phone conversation with Tommy and Mike. Then he noticed Alex looking a little nervous. "What's up, Alex? I can tell something is worrying you. Do you still want to go to Tommy's for the next week and a half? Spend New Year's with us? What is it?" "No, that's all good. I want to give you your gift now. I already had the robe. This one is new." His voice was a little rough as he went on, "I want to see what you think. It's ... uh ... under your plate." He was chewing on his bottom lip, obviously nervous. "You're kidding! Under my plate...?" Smart looked at him questioningly but reached to lift his now-empty plate. Alex actually looked like he was afraid of Smart's response to his gift. "Oh, my God." It was a key. What was he saying...? Was he actually...? "Baby?" Smart looked at him, hope and wonder and a question in his eyes. "Is this ... are you ... do you want me to 173

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... help me here." He hoped, but was afraid to presume too much. Alex came round and knelt by his side. "I want to give you the key to my house. You decide how you want to use it. You can use it to come and go any time you want to ... or you can use it to stay here ... if you want to." "You're asking me to move in with you? Live here ... like all the time?" Smart couldn't believe it. Just the thought made him shake with happiness. He hadn't expected anything like this. "If that is what you want, too. I would love to have you here." He seemed a little hesitant. "It won't be perfect. I work nights and you have classes and you wouldn't be on campus any more, but if you want ... we could have more time together when it did work out. What do you think?" Smart slid right off his chair and into Alex's arms. "I say yes. Yes, I would love to live here with you, see you more. Oh man, this is great. Are you sure? No, don't answer. I don't want you to change your mind." "Don't worry, Smart. I'm not going to change my mind. I've thought this through. It will take some figuring out, but it's what I want. I just have to be sure it's what you want, too." "Oh my God, yes. I love you ... I mean ... uh ... I do. Alex, I love you. I hope you don't think it is too soon to tell you, but I just ... you have to know. I can't believe how much I feel for you." Smart felt really vulnerable opening his heart like that, but he meant every word. He waited to see what Alex would say. 174

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"Well, I think that deserves only one response. Smart, look up here at me. That's right. Look into my eyes. Baby, I love you so much. Time doesn't matter. It never has with us. How long has it been? I don't even know. Doesn't make a difference. I love you. I want to be with you. We'll make it work." He was that sure of them. Their lips met in a kiss that had a whole new meaning. Kissing someone you loved and knew loved you was totally different. It added such emotion and happiness to the meeting of lips and tongues. They knelt on the floor and just hugged and hummed and finally pulled back at the same time to chuckle at each other. "We could do this a lot more comfortably, huh?" Alex asked. "Yeah, but it felt good to just be spontaneous. Boy, you sure are good with the surprises. Can we just sit on the couch a while and gaze adoringly at each other?" "You goof. Come here, adorable." They made it to the couch and snuggled up for a while, nuzzling and smiling and whispering endearments occasionally. It was wonderful.

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Chapter Nineteen Smart babbled all the way to Tommy's house. Alex just smiled indulgently and let him, reaching over occasionally to take his hand or rub his thigh. They were gloriously tired from another session of lovemaking that had just seemed ... more. The touches brought such emotion and the words they used with each other meant so much more. Smart had just thought he had been happy before. Now he was blissful. He couldn't wait to share with his friends. Then something occurred to him. "Should we tell them? Or do you think we should wait and see if things are okay with them? It looked like things were getting better, but I don't know if we should ... I don't know if we should..." He paused, looking for the right words. "Shove it in their faces how well our lives are going right now?" Alex had a way of getting right to the heart of it. Yeah, that's what Smart meant. What if their obvious joy put a damper on things because Tommy and Mike weren't back like they were before? It would seem ... just not right. "Let's wait and see. We don't have to make any announcements or anything. We'll just be together like we were and see how things are. Maybe it would be just what they do need to see and hear. You know, kind of a wake up call." Alex answered. "They've got a whole semester to be together there. They've got time to get things back. It's obvious they both want it." Alex reached out and rubbed Smart's head, ending 176

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with his hand cupping the back of Smart's neck, massaging, easing some of the pent up tension. "I love you." Smart looked over at Alex and just gave it up. He didn't think he'd get tired of saying it. He'd never thought about saying it before. He didn't know what to expect from a relationship. He hadn't known if he was supposed to be all manly and keep his thoughts to himself and be cool. But he just couldn't help it. He was such a sap when it came to his feelings. But what if...? Alex grinned and slowed the car when he saw a rest area ahead. He pulled off and parked the car away from the building. There were only a couple of cars in this rest area and they were empty. He turned the key off and reached for Smart. He took him by the shoulders and turned him so they were face to face. Looking right into Smart's eyes, he said, "I love you, too. I love hearing you say it. I don't think it's corny or goofy. It makes me feel good when you're free with your feelings." "How did you know what I was thinking?" Smart was amazed that he was so right on with all the thoughts that had been going through his head. Alex chuckled and put his forehead to Smart's. "Maybe the way you said it and then almost gasped like maybe you shouldn't have." Alex smiled gently. "Then the frown on your face, like you were worrying about how I would take it, like maybe you shouldn't have said it out loud." He put his hands around the back of Smart's neck and held his head still, as if wanting his words to be heard with his whole heart. 177

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"Hon, you say it whenever you want to and know it's coming right back at you. This is all new to me, too, you know. I told you I wasn't a virgin, but I've never been in love either." He smiled and put a quick kiss on Smart's lips before going on. "You're my first, so you'll have to get used to me saying goofy, sweet, sappy, corny things. I just feel like that with you. You okay now?" Smart nodded, rubbing their foreheads together. Alex tilted a little and took Smart's mouth in a starving, almost ferocious, kiss. Their tongues tangled and hands came up to grasp heads and hold them for deeper, longer kisses. Finally, they eased up and softened, and then Alex pulled back to look at Smart's dazed look. "Now that's a happy look. Let's go, lover. We've got a vacation coming and friends to see. I'm even anxious to see that damn goofy dog." "Hey! Champ is not goofy. Goofy was a Disney character. Champ is a warrior." Smart defended the dog. Alex just smiled and started the car to continue the trip. Tommy and Mike came out to the car upon their arrival. Both looked really good. Rested.. They looked like they'd been sleeping better. Mike's eyes were brighter and he just seemed to walk with a lighter step. There was a lot of back slapping and one-armed hugs as they greeted each other and then they all grabbed something to take inside. Champ made his presence known also, running over from the barn and jumping up on Smart and barking like crazy.

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"Hey, buddy. You been taking care of Mike for us? I bet you have." Smart looked over at Mike and was happy to see him grinning. Mike slapped his leg with his left hand. Champ went over and rubbed against him and then sat right beside him just like he had that awful night. Cool. They got Smart and Alex settled in their room. Smart was tickled when he saw Alex put out the paperweight he had found for him that was inscribed with the words: "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience. Archibald McLeish" Alex had loved it. They went to the sunroom and found Tommy and Mike. Marie was there with a small table set up with goodies and drinks on it. "Hello, Marie. I missed seeing you. You look great, and so does this." Alex had formed quite a bond with Mitch's lovely wife. He bent to drop a quick kiss on her cheek and joined the others in grabbing plates for the snacks. There were a couple of savory treats as well as some really delicious looking pastries. Smart knew that Alex was going to have fun sharing ideas and recipes with her. Alex really liked both Mitch and Marie. Tommy and Mike had chosen the couch, and Mike's cast rested on the arm of it. Tommy had a big plate for both of them and they laughed when he dropped some cheese on Mike's shirt as he tried to feed him. Alex chose one of the big recliners and Smart sat down on the floor in front of him, resting back against his knee. 179

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The conversation flowed freely. They talked about their respective Christmases and Smart admitted coming out to his parents, and how they had taken it better than he'd hoped. Smart was pleased to see that Mitch and Marie had gotten Mike a big box of drawing materials. He had everything he would need to keep up with his passion while he recuperated. "What about you, Smart? What did you get for Christmas?" Mike asked, grinning over at him. Smart looked back at Alex, raising an eyebrow, and Alex nodded. "I got a key." "A key? To what? Alex's heart?" Tommy looked at them, smiling. "That, too." Alex said, reaching down and touching the top of Smart's head. "But I gave him a key to my apartment. He's moving in when we go back." They waited for a second and then Tommy and Mike both erupted. "Cool! Hey man, that's great. Smart, right on." Tommy said. Mike seemed just as excited, just quieter with it. "I think that's wonderful. I could tell there was something up with you all even in the hospital." He smiled shyly. "You were so good to me, Alex; don't think I wasn't aware of all the things you did for me and for Tommy." He looked back and forth between Smart and Alex, as if relishing their obvious joy in each other. "I was aware and I really appreciated it. I could tell you were starting to have feelings for Smart. You would seem to be waiting for him to show up and when he did you 180

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just sort of relaxed and seemed happier ... even then. I'm really happy for you both." He looked at Tommy then, and they shared a smile. Smart and Alex just soaked up the good wishes and happiness and leaned back to spend more time with their good friends. This was going to be a good break for them. Mitch came in soon and grabbed a couple of snacks off the table. He sat close to Marie and they went through all of it again. Laughter and razzing and corny comments abounded, and Smart thought again that he'd never been happier. The good times continued through supper. Mitch and Marie had plans with friends, they had the house to themselves. They settled in the living room. Since there were two big couches that faced each other over a large center table, everyone was happy and curled up with the one they loved. They talked of their plans for the time off and then, in a pause in the conversation, Mike spoke up, looking at Alex. "Can I ask you something? Like ... something really personal?" He seemed nervous, but he kept looking at Alex. "Lord knows I've got no secrets from Smart lately, but I think I feel okay enough with you to ask you things, private things. I'm really tired of being ... like ... of feeling so much like a..." Alex helped him out quietly, looking right at Mike, but he tightening his arm around Smart. "Like a victim?" Mike just stared at him. "Yeah." He looked at Tommy really quickly and then back at Alex. "They had a guy come in to see me at the hospital, but I just couldn't talk to him. I love Tommy with all my heart, but I didn't want to talk to him 181

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... be ... because I thought it would hurt him to hear it. He's been so worried about me and so careful with me. Everyone has been so good to me, but I want to ... to not need such special attention any more." He drew in a deep breath, as if gathering his courage. "So I thought since you always seem to know the right way to handle things, I told Tommy I would talk to you about some of my ... problems." Alex nodded gravely. "Mike, I'm not a counselor or anything like that, but I'll answer anything you ask and tell you the truth to the best of my ability. You want just us or are you comfortable with Tommy and Smart in here with us?" "No. I ... I need Tommy here. I'm not that much better." He laughed at himself. "I still am not comfortable if he's not with me. This is going to be kind of embarrassing so I might need to hide my face." He laughed again. Mike was willing to put it out there, whatever it was, despite his nerves. "Well, to begin with, Tommy and I talked about some of the things you told him the other day before you left." Mike paused. "You were right. We needed to talk it out and admit what was scaring both of us. And we did. He explained about you saying it was like a woman being raped, and I can see some of that." He cleared his throat and continued. "I was too caught up in whether he would want me any more, not because of a problem with him, but with me. I just didn't feel like me any more and I didn't know how to get back to the way I felt before." His voice was quivering with emotion as he continued. "I feel the same way about Tommy as before and I believe he feels the same way about me, but I can't seem to ... I can't ... oh man, this is hard..." He hung 182

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his head. Tommy pulled him close for a minute and put his hand around his neck, just holding him. "Are you trying to say you haven't made love yet? That you can't get excited? Are you worried about your love life being over?" Alex kept his voice soft. Mike just nodded his head against Tommy's chest. Alex took Smart's hand and drew him up. Smart didn't know what was going on but he followed Alex. They went over and sat on the big coffee table right in front of Tommy and Mike. It took Smart a minute to figure out the discussion might be easier to have if it was a little more intimate. Just talking quietly, more closely together. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, really. You have been on so many medicines for so many different things and they can cause that to happen, for sure." Alex touched the tips of two of his fingers to Mike's knee for a second. "Plus, you've been in pain for a long time, both physically and mentally. I know about the nightmares and the lack of sleep you've been through. Mike, all of that makes for the kind of thing you're talking about." Alex heard Mike sigh against Tommy, and then Mike sat up straight and looked at Alex. "Okay," he said. "All of that is true, but I'm really feeling better. I've gone two nights without a nightmare and I've been sleeping more. I feel like I should be able to be more ... more ... there ... for Tommy. I'm ready. I want him. I know he wants me, but I feel like I'm failing him." His eyes were cloudy with torment. "Mike, no." Tommy said, pain in his voice at Mike's misery. Smart could see Mike's hold on Tommy tighten. "Come on, 183

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baby. You know better than that. I'll always want you, but there's not any hurry..." Tommy was trying so hard to ease Mike's mind. "Well, there is for me. I'm tired of being like this. I feel like half of me is gone. The half that made you love me. That made us ... us. I want to be the way we were again." There were tears sitting on Mike's lashes, just waiting to fall. "Okay, now shit. Let's just hold on a minute, Mike." Tommy's voice brooked no argument. "I'm so happy just sleeping in the same bed with you. I'm so happy you're alive and going to be all right." He lifted Mike's head to look straight into his eyes. "I can't believe you are worried or that you think sex was the only thing that made me love you. Maybe I'm the one who has failed you, if you can even wonder about that." "See?" Mike's wet eyes looked from Tommy's hurt face to Alex's concerned one. "I keep on hurting him. I just want to love him and be able to show him and I keep messing it up." Tears finally trickled down under the onslaught of so much emotion. "Hey," Alex was quick to respond, "You're just expecting too much too soon. It looks to me like Tommy's doing the right thing. He loves you and he's waiting until your body heals. He knows you want him and of course he's anxious to get back to you all being sexy again." Smart stayed quiet, but he glanced over at Tommy and caught his nod. Alex continued, "But hey, you know, maybe you all should concentrate on just being sexy, not having sex. Heads up, 184

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here, guys. I hope you don't mind me suggesting some things." Smart loved him for trying to lighten the mood, and he placed his hand lightly on Alex's back, hoping he'd get the message. "No, please. Suggest away. We're asking. I think we both feel sort of stupid for having to, I mean, we used to be the ones who had it all together and ... well, just ask Smart," Tommy said and Mike nodded in agreement. "Okay. Here. Smart, a little demonstration help, please. This is what you don't need right now." With that he turned and grabbed Smart and laid him down over the table. He yelped with surprise as Alex leaned over him and took his mouth, hard. Smart, being of sound mind and body, reached up and wrapped his arm around Alex's neck before reaching down to grab Alex's butt and squeeze. Alex caught on and tried to move them over and they sort of fell off the table onto Tommy and Mike's feet. They were both laughing and Tommy reached down to help untangle them. "You get the idea, I think. Now, with my able assistant's delightful help, I'll show you what you should be concentrating on. I'm taking a chance on embarrassing my baby here so be appreciative and pay close attention to details. It's the details that make the difference. Ready, Smart?" Smart was more than ready. "Hell, yes." They were back up on the table and Smart was getting into putting on a show for his friends, especially since it was to help Tommy and Mike. This was going to be fun. 185

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Alex started out by talking quietly as he caressed Smart. "It didn't take Smart long to find a favorite spot, did it, baby?" Alex asked and Smart took his cue and turned to put his face into Alex's throat. He breathed deep and put his hand up to the other side of Alex's neck. Alex continued with his soft words. "I've found something about Smart that makes me feel good," Alex said. "Something that makes me happy. I love his head. I love to push my fingers through his soft hair and rub his scalp. It makes him shiver every time and that is such a turn-on for me to know how he loves it." Smart felt Alex shiver as he grinned against his neck. Alex went on, talking quietly. "How it makes him feel good. I scratch and rub and smooth his hair and that is usually how we end up going to sleep. Hey, it works for us." The whole time he was talking quietly, he was putting words to actions and Smart, of course, shivered on command. Smart decided to get in the game, too. He reached up and started to unbutton Alex's shirt and slid his lips down a little. He was a little surprised to find that he was into the little bit of exhibitionism involved in this scene with Alex. He knew Alex was trying to show Mike and Tommy that love didn't have to be proven by having sex. That it was the little things that showed how much you loved someone. Things you learned over time together. He knew things that Alex loved and they hadn't been together nearly as long as Tommy and Mike. They had just been so caught up in pain and worry that they had forgotten how much tenderness meant to them. 186

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Smart turned more toward Alex and put his mouth on his left nipple. Moving up, just like he had before, he proceeded to pull up a mark on Alex's chest right over that hard bud. Alex gasped and took Smart's face in his hands and pulled him up, looking right into his eyes. "Sexy man," he whispered and put his tongue out and swiped it across Smart's bottom lip, then took it between his teeth and pulled it away, not hurting him, just tugging. Smart groaned and followed and then their tongues were dueling in each other's mouths. It was sexy, but it was all still soft and tender. They weren't having sex. They were making love. It was foreplay, really. They were, of course, both hard in their jeans, but there was no urgency in the kiss. They eased away and Smart went straight for Alex's neck. Alex chuckled. He smoothed Smart's hair and then pulled his head back for a quick kiss. "Thanks for helping," Alex said. "You were great." He turned to Tommy and Mike. "My pleasure." Smart muttered and turned to their friends, too. Tommy and Mike were caught in a kiss that looked ... well, it looked like it used to. "I think you all got the idea," Alex said, smiling. "Mike, there's no hurry to get to the next step. Take your time, revisit all the little ways you love to touch each other, play with each other. He went on talking quietly, "If Tommy needs it after a session, jerk him off. No problem. I'm sure you've done it before. You just have to lose the idea that something is expected of you. That is only your expectation, not Tommy's. He just wants to love on you." 187

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Mike leaned forward and put his hand out to Alex. Alex took it in his and just held on. "Yeah," Mike said. "You're right. I'll quit expecting so much of myself and just enjoy being with my man. He loves me and he knows how to make me happy. And you're right. I know how to make him happy, too." Alex smiled and squeezed Smart a little more tightly. He patted Mike's hand, then placed it on Tommy's knee. "Mike, you're going to be all right. I don't have to be a professional shrink to know that. You've got the best support around you that I've ever seen. Between, Tommy, his parents, who, by the way, are just the best in every way, and Smart, you're going to be just fine. I think it's time to go to our respective rooms and retire for the night. Not necessarily to sleep though, huh?" "Nah. I'm not sleepy, but I am ready to go to bed. Tommy?" "Right behind you, babe. Right beside you, right in front of you. I just want to be all over you. Come here." He put his arm around Mike and they stood and turned to Smart and Alex. He leaned down and put his face beside Alex's and said, "Thanks. Again." **** In their room Tommy and Mike went right over to the bed. Tommy put his arms around Mike and just held him and they swayed a little standing there together. "I'm so proud of you." Tommy whispered to Mike. 188

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"What for? I don't think I've done anything to be proud of. I'm a mess." Mike ducked his head. "You were very brave. You wanted answers and help and you weren't afraid to ask for them. That was very cool of you." Tommy pulled Mike just a little bit closer. "Man, Alex is smart, isn't he? Ha! Smart and smart Alex. He has a way about him of making you comfortable even in tough situations. Can you believe their ... uh ... demonstrations?" Tommy chuckled. "It was good, though, wasn't it? I mean, watching them like that. It was sexy and sweet and it turned me on because it made me think of you and me. He knew just what he was doing." Mike could feel how turned on Tommy was. He had his good arm around Tommy's neck and his casted one sort of around his waist. He pulled and they ended up with Mike sitting on the bed with Tommy right in front of him. He looked up and asked, "Will you take them off ... for me? Usually I'd help, but I'm not quite up to zippers right now." Mike was trying for humor. He wanted to come off cool and calm not nervous like he really was. "Mike, honey, you don't have..." "Tommy, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do. I was there tonight and I took it all in. I want to just be tender with you and do all the things we used to, all the things we did besides just fucking, you know?" He was shaking, with both desire and fear. "But first, I want you in my mouth. I really, really want that. Please, let me. I need you. I need to do this for you ... 189

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for me. It's been so long and you know how I love the way you taste. Don't make me beg." Tommy quickly unzipped his pants and stepped out of them and his shorts. He put his hands on Mike's shoulders and leaned down and looked him right in the eyes. "I love you, Mike." Mike looked right back and nodded, then reached out and took Tommy's cock in his left hand. Tommy gasped and shook from head to toe. Nerves and desire and love all gave him the shakes. Mike leaned in and took Tommy's cock into his mouth and they both groaned. Mike was gentle and a little awkward, sitting there with his big cast and his face in Tommy's groin. Tommy tried to speak, "Oh, baby. Oh, your mouth. You ... love you ... so much." He lost it and shot into Mike's mouth just like that. He couldn't last any longer. He put his hands on Mike's face and lifted it up to him. Mike had this look on his face that broke Tommy's heart. Such fear and need and hope that Tommy just caved. He sat and took Mike in his arms and said, "Thank you. God, I needed that. There is no one for me but you, you know that. Come on, let's get comfortable." He got them both undressed and then they were on the bed together. He had Mike lie on his left side to rest his cast over his hips instead of the pillows so they could face each other. He wanted to talk a minute before they got started. He had to make Mike understand. "In a minute we'll get you set up more comfortably, but right now I want to see your beautiful eyes. Remember how we used to laugh at how goofy we were 'cause we'd just lay and look at each other and that made us happy? We could 190

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kiss for hours and that was enough." He smiled as Mike nodded, his eyes bright as he shared the same memories. "We've got years to do all that other stuff, and believe me, we'll get back to it, and burn up the sheets. But Alex is so right. We need to just touch each other, be gentle, tender, play with each other. It's all we need, baby, just that connection. How could we have gotten so lost?" He shook his head, unable to believe they needed help when they had been the poster boys for happiness. "All we need is each other. As long as I know you are okay and I can look in your eyes and touch you, my world is right again." Tommy said and saw agreement in Mike's eyes. Tommy reached out and eased Mike onto his back and reached across him to get the pillows under that big old cast. He heard Mike sigh and leaned down to kiss his chest as he was passing over it. Tommy looked down and smiled. "Can you believe Smart gave Alex a hickey right in front of us? Damn, that was sexy." He raised his eyes and looked down at Mike. Nah, maybe later. He scootched up and rested his head on his hand, looking down into Mike's face. "You are so gorgeous. It makes me happy just to look at you." "Come on, I'm not..." "Yes, you are. You're my Mike. I love your eyes, your hair, your face. Those three lines on your face don't change a thing. You are my sweet, gorgeous Mike and you always will be." Tommy leaned down and put his tongue out and very gently touched Mike's bottom lip. He slid it along to the corner and then across the upper one. He took his time and touched 191

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his tongue to Mike's whole face. His nose, and across his eyelids, softly leaving a trail of moisture up to his hairline, a path of love. Tommy gently put his lips to Mike's forehead right over the bandage there and then to each of the other ones. Mike hummed as Tommy eased down and put his lips on Mike's chin and then slid down and licked his Adam's apple. Tommy kissed his neck and ended up lightly sucking his collarbone. He trailed his right hand over Mike's chest, teasing his nipples until they budded up for him. Tommy really wasn't trying to get him too excited, just to make him feel good, feel loved. Where had his mind been? Why hadn't he figured this out for himself? He knew how to make Mike feel like the center of his world. Tommy mentally shook his head at himself again. Fear of doing the wrong thing or even the right thing too soon had held him back before. He paused and looked at Mike for reassurance. Mike was gazing at him with such love in his eyes that Tommy just beamed back at him. "You happy, baby? Feel good?" "Feel good. Love you." Mike put his left hand in Tommy's hair and pulled his head down for a kiss, soft and sweet. "More?" he asked, a sweet smile on his precious face. "More." Tommy promised. He leaned over, putting his leg across both of Mike's and taking up where he left off. He spent a long, long time showing Mike how much he was loved and desired. They both enjoyed every soft caress, every loving touch. 192

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"Oh, baby, I missed you so much." He sighed the words into Mike's neck. They went to sleep eventually, both smiling softly, content. Tommy's head was on Mike's shoulder, his hand at home over his lover's heart. **** Alex nodded at Tommy's words of thanks and then he and Smart stood, too. They watched the two young men walk out, holding on to each other and whispering. Smart turned to Alex and put his arms around him, holding tight. Alex's shoulders seemed hard and tense. Smart looked at him and asked, "Hey? You are so tight. Are you okay?" Smart rubbed at the tight muscles. "Here sit back down ... no, let's go to our room. I think you need a massage. I doubt if I'm as good as you, but I can sure try." "Yeah, sounds good. I was tense. It was important, you know? Mike was really hurting, and it was rubbing off on Tommy. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, of doing something that went wrong." He turned to look at Smart and reached to touch his cheek. "You caught on quick and helped me out a lot. I'm not usually into putting on a show, but I thought a little humor would help, but I also wanted them to see us being tender with each other. They need that back. Did you mind?" "Nah. It was good. Once I caught on to what you were trying to show them I was into it. Course, I'm into it any time you touch me anyway, so it wasn't hard to ... uh ... perform. 193

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But I've been hard as a rock for a while now. Let's go get horizontal." Smart pulled him toward their room. Alex laughed and they were soon in their room. As usual Smart's back was against the door and Alex's hand was cradling his head to protect it as he put his tongue into Smart's mouth and his hand on his cock. "Got you all hot and bothered, can't leave you like that," Alex said after pulling back and nuzzling down to Smart's neck, looking for his collarbone. Before long Smart keened a little as Alex sucked up a mark on him just like before. He rubbed the nipple on Smart's left side and put his mouth over his right one. Ooh, someone liked that. Smart's hips bucked against his hand and he got Smart's pants undone just in time to catch a hand full of hot come. "There you go. Mmm, that's my baby. Come here, need those lips again." Alex murmured against Smart's hot neck. Smart kissed him long and hard and his hands weren't idle either. He had Alex out of his pants and took him firmly in hand, sliding up and down. He wasted no time dropping down and taking Alex's cock into his mouth. Alex gave it up to him just like that. He had his hands around Smart's head and was biting his lips to keep quiet. He shuddered and pulled Smart up and held on to him, holding both of them up. "You make my knees weak. Let's sit down a minute." He tugged and Smart followed him to a big chair in front of the window in the room. He sat and pulled Smart down into his lap. With Smart's face cozily nuzzling his neck he sighed contentedly. 194

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Smart murmured against the warm skin of his neck. "You were very good tonight. You gave them good advice and made them feel better. You're very good at things like that. I think it's because you have such a big heart. You remind me of Mitch sometimes." "Now that is a compliment." Smart leaned in and touched Alex's face, smoothing his jaw. "You're so good. Such a good man. I feel incredibly lucky to have you. I can't believe you love me as much as I love you. Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough for you. You deserve more. You make me so happy." "Hey, don't put me too high up there. I'll fall off that pedestal you're building and disappoint you for sure." Alex toyed with a lock of Smart's hair. "I'm just a man. Granted, I'm your man and it gives me great pleasure to say that. But I will piss you off some time in the future or hurt you or do something to mess up." He smoothed his hand through Smart's hair as he talked. "Don't worry, though, I'll make up for it, too. We are both just men. We both have strengths and weaknesses. We'll mess up then we'll make up just like anyone else." Alex smiled at him. Smart smirked. "Come on, let's go take a hot shower and then I want your ass. How's that for romantic?" "Works for me." Smart laughed and was up off the chair and headed for the bed to get his new robe to take with him. They smiled at each other as they got into the shower. It was slow and soft and easy. They took turns with the soap and shampoo, moaning 195

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and sighing as the hot water and good smells made them steamy and melty. Smart was supremely happy. It felt so good to touch and nuzzle and massage his lover's body. Knowing how much Alex loved his touch was one of the greatest joys of his life. He proceeded to touch and take care of Alex as they dried off and headed back into their room. "God, I think you melted me down to the bone. I feel loose and relaxed. Thank you, baby. Come on over here and let's cuddle first this time." Alex smiled, and Smart could feel the sweet smile that covered his face. They settled on the bed and lay for a few minutes, quietly looking into each other's eyes. Both of them were realizing just how strong what they had together was and how easily it could change. The strength of Tommy and Mike's love had been tested and thankfully it looked like they were going to be all right. Smart and Alex felt closer to each other after sharing the crisis with their friends. Would they have the same kinds of doubts and fears crop up? Maybe. Alex smiled at Smart and said, "Don't worry. We're going to make it." "How did you know what I was thinking?" Smart ducked his head a little, amazed that Alex had read his mind again. "I'm smart." Alex replied, and tilted his head as if waiting for the inevitable. "No, I'm Smart." With that the laughter and wrestling began. They rubbed against each other and before long, laughter turned to moans 196

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and sighs. They tried to be quiet and hoped that they didn't bother the guys in the next room, but they just couldn't help it. It was just so good to be loved. END

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