Skipping Stones

SKIPPING STONES

…“At fifteen, I was too damned horny to be scared about losing my virginity with him. He was so beautiful,” Reed said. “I bet he thought that, too.” “You bet he thought what?” “That you were beautiful.” Reed laughed. “Why, Leo, I didn’t know you cared.” Leo straightened up and cleared his throat. “Well, he must have thought you were something to risk his reputation. You were just a kid. Do you regret not having a childhood?” Leo leaned his shoulder against the wall. “No.” Reed reached out and touched Leo’s cheek, his voice soft and compelling. “I try not to regret anything.” It was completely unexpected. His fingers lingered on his cheek, and Leo felt flushed as he melted into those eyes. His mouth gravitated toward Reed’s, his gaze caressing his lips. It seemed like a dream. He was so close to those lips, he could feel Reed’s breath. Then a warning bell clanged in his head. He drew back abruptly, stiffened. What in fuck am I doing? Reed dropped his hand from Leo’s cheek. He smiled and brushed past him. “I better get upstairs before my steaks burn.” Leo didn’t move. He heard Reed’s footsteps climb the steps and he came close to dropping the wine bottle on the floor. He had no idea what to make of that man. He wasn’t sure what Reed’s game was, or if he was even playing a game. He did know, however, that every time Reed Owens came within ten feet of him, his heart hammered in his chest like a drum. And that…well…that wasn’t good…

ALSO BY D. J. MANLY (with A. J. Llewellyn) The Driscoll House Fawnskin

SKIPPING STONES BY D. J. MANLY

AMBER Q UILL PRESS, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com

SKIPPING STONES AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. Amber Quill Press, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. Copyright © 2010 by D. J. Manly ISBN 978-1-60272-684-0 Cover Art © 2010 Trace Edward Zaber

Layout and Formatting provided by: Elemental Alchemy

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

For those who believe in forever

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CHAPTER 1 The two female impersonators down the hallway were bickering again. Leo rolled over in bed and buried his head under the blanket. “Shut up,” he growled. Hopefully, it wouldn’t turn into an all out brawl this time. He ground the pillow into his ear, and the heated words all melded into one another. Love was a bitch. “It’s difficult to stay in love,” Felix had told him the other night in broken English. “I want to fuck him and then sometimes all I want to do is kill him.” Leo could identify. The voices suddenly grew louder. Leo threw his pillow aside and jumped out of bed. “Kill each other and get it over with,” he yelled, pounding on the wall. “Just, for Christ sakes, ta gueule!” It quieted abruptly, and Leo sighed with relief as he took a 1

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small dented saucepan off the hotplate and went into the bathroom. He filled it with tap water and set it on the burner. He searched the cupboard for the small jar of instant coffee he kept on hand. When he found it, he poked a spoon into it, scraped up enough of the dried coffee to make a cup, then waited for the water to boil. A door slammed in the hallway and he heard someone walk past, swearing under his breath in French. Jacques. He was always the one who stormed out, leaving Felix to stress out and wonder if he was ever coming back. Leo poured some boiling water into the mug. It left a greasy, murky kind of film on top, not exactly inviting, but it would have to do. He walked over and glanced down at the street below. A few people stopped to get their newspaper from the vendor on the corner. A taxi honked its horn waiting for its passenger, and two lovers necked in the park. In the distance, he could see the Seine and the Champs-Élysées. Most people would say Paris was beautiful, the city of culture and art, the city of lights, and, of course, the city of love. But to Leo, right now, Paris was the ugliest place on earth, and the threatening rain didn’t help. He left the window and sat on one of the chairs that accommodated a small round metal table with one wobbly leg. He swallowed a mouthful of the bitter brew, which was lukewarm, if that, and made a face. When the timid knock came on his door, he knew who it was. “Bonjour Felix,” he sang out, opening the door without even looking at him. Felix stood there, the mascara he’d been wearing from the night before smeared down his face. He looked down at his hands, picking at his nails. “He’s left me again,” he said with that wicked 2

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French accent. Felix had run off to New York when he was sixteen, and learned to speak English, among other things. Leo shook his head, left the door open, and went to sit at the table again. “I’d offer you coffee, but I don’t think you’d…” He indicated the small jar sitting on the counter. He put up his hands. “Oh non.” He made a face. “That is worse than death. What am I going to do, Leo?” Felix plunked down in the chair across from him, his arm leaning on the unstable table top. “What you always do,” Leo shrugged, “wait until he comes back. Has he been screwing around again?” “He can’t help it, it’s in his nature.” Felix looked around. “You need some color in here.” “I need more than color, believe me. Anyway, I’m leaving.” “Ah, Leo, why?” He leaned forward, and grabbed his hand. “You like it here.” “I have no money.” I don’t even have the strength anymore to work, or to paint. “This city has lost its appeal.” “Because of Pierre?” He tried to look sympathetic. “Look, you came here to talk about Jacques, not Pierre. I’m finished with men.” He lifted an eyebrow. “You going to become a…how do they say in your country…a breeder?” Leo couldn’t help but laugh. “No, I’m not going to be straight. I can’t ever be that.” “I know what you mean,” he replied. “But, Leo, you can’t give up on love. Love will find you again.” “Well, if love finds me again, I’m going to run as fast as I can, believe me. Now, let’s talk about you. Who did Jacques fuck this time?” 3

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*

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After some more tears, and some of the same talk Felix always talked, he left Leo’s room. Leo knew Jacques would be back later that night, he and Felix would make up, and most of the night he’d hear the sounds of them fucking. Sometimes he thought that’s what Jacques and Felix fought for, just for the make up sex. Leo washed up and got dressed. He paused to study himself in the mirror for a moment before going downstairs. His ash blond hair needed cutting. It fell past his shoulders. And his deep brown eyes looked tired and sad. He’d lost weight going from his normal well-toned one eighty to one sixty-eight. At five foot eleven, the weight loss made him look almost frail. The concierge at the desk looked grumpy as usual when he spotted him. He couldn’t speak a word of English, but his body language spoke volumes. The concierge picked up the calendar and pointed to the date, indicating that Leo had three days left until the end of the month. He’d been late last time and that didn’t sit well with Monsieur Lemay. He’d had a job up until two months ago, and with his painting, he was doing all right. Then everything went to shit, and he’d moved into this hole. Now, he couldn’t even afford this dump. He nodded at Lemay, and headed through the lobby. It had started to rain and he walked in it without care, taking out his wallet to see if his last few euros were still there. He felt far older than his twenty-five years, and he didn’t want to think about what would happen once he got kicked out of the dump he was living in. He’d already hawked all his painting supplies, his iPod, and his camera. He’d held onto his cell phone but he hadn’t been able to put any time on it in a month. There 4

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wasn’t much more he could sell except for the clothes on his back or the watch Pierre had given him. He stopped in the park and stared at the watch. It was worth a lot of money, and he could probably get enough to buy him a ticket home. Home? He really couldn’t go home, not to his parents. They’d put too many conditions on him. Could he sell the watch if it came down to it? It was the last thing he had to remind him of…of what, a love that was a lie from the moment they met? He swallowed. Why in hell was he hanging onto it? Pierre didn’t love him. He’d never loved him. He’d only used him. When they met, Leo was sure that the earth and the moon revolved around him. Leo had been sitting on the street corner, sketching people, making fairly good money when the weather was good. Pierre had come and sat on the stool opposite his easel. “You’re American,” he’d said, his English cultured and precise. He wore a light colored suit, and his eyes were green, like emeralds. “Yes.” “How much?” he asked. Leo had shrugged. “Nothing. It’s free.” He laughed. Leo had sketched him, realizing how beautiful he was with each stroke of his pencil. He tore off the paper and handed it to him. “It’s not very good.” “It’s formidable, fantastique!” Leo actually blushed. Pierre stood and placed some money in his hand, too much. “Take it,” he insisted, “please.” Their eyes had met. “I’m an art dealer,” he announced. “I know an artist when I meet one. This is my card.” He handed it to him. “Call me.” It had been too exciting. Leo had called him that night. Pierre 5

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had come to pick him up at the apartment he shared with two other young men who worked at the same cafe he did. Pierre took him to a party with all kinds of artistic people—painters and writers and musicians. Later, he took him to his penthouse in the center of Paris and they’d made love. Pierre had arranged for an art showing and Leo sold his first painting. “You are on your way, Leo,” Pierre told him. They never spoke of love, but Leo was sure he felt it when he was in Pierre’s arms. And Pierre lavished him with things, clothes, and dinners and then the gold watch on his birthday. Their affair lasted almost a year, then one night after finishing a shift at the café where he worked, Leo spotted Pierre coming out of one of the theaters with a woman on his arm. Another couple was with them, a woman and a man, and they were laughing and talking together as they walked down the street. Leo had been confused. He’d wracked his brain for some plausible explanation. Was it his sister? Finally, a few days later when Pierre came to pick him up to take him to dinner, he came out and asked him. Pierre didn’t even try to hide it. He simply shrugged and said, “She’s my wife.” Leo was devastated, and when he reacted with anger, Pierre acted surprised as if his reaction was completely out of line. “Leo”—he’d given him his don’t be irrational look—“what did you think, that this was love? That we were forever?” Leo sat on a park bench now to rest. A bus went by, splashing two little girls who squealed with joy at getting wet. The rain had slacked, leaving the Paris streets slick and gray. The sky looked as if it wasn’t entirely ready to stop crying. He wasn’t ready to stop crying. What did you think…that this 6

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was love? That had been the end, of course. Pierre had been angry. He’d been hurt. Pierre had offered to pay his way back home when Leo announced that he was getting the fuck out of this city. Leo told him not to bother. And that had been it. He hadn’t seen Pierre again. He fell into a depression, missed work a few times, and lost his job. He couldn’t pay his share of the rent on the apartment anymore, so he took what money he’d saved and got a room. When the money began to dry up, he sold what he could. And now he wondered why he’d waited so long to leave. Did he think Pierre would suddenly decide to dump his wife and come running to him, declaring his love, and falling on his knees to apologize? It was never going to happen. Love and pain seemed synonymous to him. That’s why he was better off forgetting about it altogether. “Are you swearing off sex, too?” Mark had asked him the last time he’d called him. “I didn’t say that.” Leo laughed. “They’re not the same things. Love I can live without; sex, I can’t.” “One can lead to another.” “In your case, yeah, and look where that’s gotten you.” “We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you, crazy boy.” Crazy boy. It was a nickname Mark had given him when they were teenagers, and it had stuck. He still called him crazy boy. Mark had been after him to come to Florida for the last two months. He had some financial interest in a Florida resort which was a few miles north of Lake Worth. “I’m here all alone now. Reed is gone. He’s been gone for months without a word.” “You’re better off without that ass.” 7

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No answer. Mark was great at giving advice, but not so great at taking it. “If you need money, Leo, I…” At that time, he’d still had his job at the cafe. He was still living in the apartment, too. The depression over losing Pierre hadn’t really set in. He’d thought he’d be all right and, deep down, refused to accept that it was really over. Now, it was a different story. He’d written Mark a while back, depressed and feeling like there was no way out of this deep well he found himself in. His letter was a call for help. Now he regretted posting it and wished he hadn’t acted so hastily. Mark had probably freaked when he got it. And although Leo had told him he may have to move out of the apartment, he’d never said that it was already a done deal. Leo spent his last few euros on some good coffee and a pastry. When he arrived back at the run down hotel, Mr. Lemay pushed an envelope across the counter. “Pour vous, Monsieur Waters,” he said, then muttered something else about the rent money. “Oui, oui,” Leo replied, checking the envelope. It was from Mark, and he’d sent it to his former address. One of his old roommates must have brought it to him. He went back up to his room, tore open the envelope and pulled out the paper. He flopped on the bed and began to read. Hey, crazy boy…now I’m worried. What in hell is going on with you? I thought you told me you’d get over this closet case? Leo, I want you to come home. Come to Florida. You can work for me and paint. It’s quiet season. We have only one guest and I’m alone. I miss you. No man is worth killing yourself over. Call me collect when you get this and I’ll help 8

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you get home. You can owe me. Love, Mark “No man is worth killing yourself over?” Leo scoffed. “Get real, Mark!” He threw the letter aside. Mark had written him so many letters over the years about Reed, the man Leo had come to hate, and suicide had come up more than once. Mark was the last person to be proselytizing about that! Leo had met Mark in grade school and they’d become the best of friends. Being gay was something they discovered as adolescence approached. It was their secret, a secret that bonded them together like none other. By the time Leo turned fourteen, he was crazy in love with Mark. He imagined that they’d be together forever and eventually their friendship would turn physical. Every time Mark had sex with another boy, it practically ripped his heart out, but he never said anything. Then they roomed together at college, and Mark finally began to look at him differently. Mark even talked about the possibility of sex between them, and Leo was in seventh heaven. Then Mark’s parents wanted to take him to Florida on vacation. Leo was invited to go along but he didn’t have the cash. His parents weren’t as well off as Leo’s, and he had to stay behind and work in order to pay for his tuition and books. When Mark came back to school, everything had changed. He confessed to Leo that he was in love. He’d met this guy called Reed on holiday. He’d said that he was a few years older, devastatingly gorgeous and very experienced in bed. Two weeks after Mark came back from vacation, he suddenly dropped out of 9

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school and hitchhiked back to Florida to be with Reed. Mark’s parents were up in arms. Leo had been crushed. Over the next two years of college, Mark made several attempts to keep in touch with him. He’d write, and write, and finally, missing his best friend, Leo wrote back. By that time, his plans were made to travel around Europe, absorb some culture, and paint. He’d put his hurt feelings aside and their correspondence continued. The letters Mark sent him were filled with stories about Reed. Mark was desperately in love and it appeared this Reed guy took him for granted and had a knack of breaking his heart over and over again. He was always letting him down, and Mark would write how he was going to leave him but then the sex was too hot, or he’d do something sweet and all would be right with the world. Eventually Reed’s parents, the Owens, decided to give the business over to their son, and Mark wrote that he was spending more and more time running the business, and Reed seemed to be spending more and more of his time away. Eventually, Reed had given him some financial stake in the business, and Mark spoke less and less about Reed Owens in his letters. “Fucking men,” Leo muttered now as he threw Mark’s letter aside and walked out into the hallway. He checked the time and picked up the pay phone. It was early in the morning there but Mark had always been an early riser. He’d made up his mind. He was going to take Mark up on his offer. He was going to start his life over again, leave this city, Pierre, and love behind. When he heard Mark’s voice, he smiled. “Hey, I didn’t wake you, did I?” “Leo? Where in the fuck are you? You got my letter? Are you 10

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all right?” “Yes, no. I guess so. I’m heartbroken, Mark.” He lowered his head and cried a little. “I know, I know,” Mark replied, trying to sound soothing. “Let that be a lesson to you, one I know well…never fall in love with a beautiful man, men who can have anyone they want on their knees. They’ll use and abuse you.” Leo brought his voice under control again. “I could use some help getting there.” “You’re coming then?” “Yes.” “Okay, look I’ll reserve a ticket in your name and pay for it. You just get to the airport. Can you do that?” “I think so. I’m not sure…I…have enough cash for…” “Shit, Leo. Okay. I’ll go through an agent, get you a shuttle. I’ll be there to meet you. Give me your number there. I’ll call you right back to tell you the time and don’t go anywhere. You hear me?” “Mark, I…” “Leo, it’s okay. It will be okay. Trust me.” “I don’t know how I’m going to pay you back for…” “I’ll give you a job. Resort needs repainting and stuff. You can help me do that until you get on your feet, decide what you want to do.” “What about that…fuck you live with?” “Reed? Don’t worry about him. He’s gone. He hasn’t been back for months, off screwing some cabana boy probably. Anyway, this is my place, too, don’t forget.” A half hour later, the phone chimed in the hall. It was Mark. He’d booked the flight for eight o’clock the next morning. “Shuttle 11

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will be there at five your time,” Mark said. “I’ll see you soon.” “Mark, I love you.” “I love you, too, crazy boy,” he said and hung up. *

*

*

As the plane left the ground early the next morning, Leo felt empty. He was leaving his heart on that tarmac. Pierre. I want to hate you but how can I? How can I hate the man I held in my arms and gave everything to? There was such bitterness in his heart. The lies, the deceit. He felt like such a fool. He understood how Reed must have made Mark feel all these years. These kinds of men were nothing but leeches. They took your heart and ripped it into a million pieces, seducing you with their smiles, their kind words, their cocks. He’d never be taken in again. As he glanced out his window, he saw Paris getting farther away. Maybe this was meant to be. Maybe he and Mark were meant to meet these men who would use them and break their hearts only to be brought back together again, if only as best friends. He chastised himself for crazy thoughts. He looked at the watch Pierre had given him, still on his wrist. He’d intended to hock it last night. He’d made it to the pawn shop, but then turned around and went back to his room. Jacques and Felix had been talking together in low voices as he passed their door last night. The reconciliation had begun. Two hours later, his room shook with the aftershocks of their fucking, and Leo had smiled. Nothing had changed. He sat back on the plane and remembered how good he and Mark had been together. He couldn’t help thinking that if Mark hadn’t gone to Florida on vacation, and he hadn’t been taken in by 12

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that prick, then…what? He would have been with Mark? He would never have met Pierre? Maybe. But as much as he disliked this Reed guy, he couldn’t blame his entire life on him. All Leo needed now was to get his life back together, find some inspiration to paint again, and be with his best friend. The rest would take care of itself and all the damn Reeds and Pierres in the world would finally fade into the woodwork. *

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*

Leo was tired when he got off the plane. But when he saw Mark’s smiling face, the exhaustion lifted immediately. They hugged for a long time. They didn’t really need to speak. “I can’t wait to take a hot bath,” Leo said. “You’re so thin,” Mark commented as they waited for the luggage at the carousel. “You saved my life,” Leo told him. Mark reached over and squeezed his arm. “Remember how we used to play war when we were kids and I was always rescuing you? Well, I was just practicing for the real thing.” “Yeah, right,” Leo scoffed. “You are so pathetic,” Mark threw at him, then together they both sang out, “Loser!” and burst into laughter. God, it was so good to be with Mark again. Those years just seemed to melt away and Leo wondered how he’d been able to stay away so long. “So,” Leo said as Mark picked up his knapsack and slung it over his back, “how far is it?” “About two hours.” “Two hours?” Leo gasped. “Where is this place, in the bloody 13

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wilderness?” “Just about.” He chuckled as Leo followed him through the exit door and out into the visitor’s lot. “The resort is very private. Good for people who want to be alone, away from the public eye. We get a celebrity or two once in awhile, and a lot of gay men.” Leo grinned. “A lot of hot, gay men?” Mark looked at him with a twinkle in his eyes. “I thought you were off men?” “I’m off love. I’d never be off men. So, who are all these hot gay men…Reed’s abandoned fucks?” Mark paused and looked at him. He looked stricken for a minute. “Oh, Mark, I’m sorry. I thought you’d laugh. I thought you were over Reed.” “You don’t get over someone like Reed. And he’s coming back.” “I thought you said he wasn’t?” Mark walked faster now. “When?” “I don’t know when but eventually he’ll be back, okay?” Mark shot him a determined look, his jaw set. Leo nodded. The insistence in Mark’s voice was raw. It seemed fresh and yet…no, he couldn’t let this go. “Like my ride?” Mark asked, pointing his car starter at a sleek red sports car. “Damn, yeah. This is nice. Must have set you back some.” “Truth be known, it’s not mine. It belongs to Reed. I’m looking after it for him.” “He must be loaded,” Leo said as Mark threw his bag into the trunk. 14

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“He’s a computer wizard. He’s fixed the computer for the Queen of England.” “And here I thought he was just another pretty face.” Mark got into the driver’s seat and opened the door on the other side for Leo. The inside was plush white leather with a mahogany dash. “That wasn’t very nice,” he chastised him. “Why are you defending him?” Leo protested. “The guy has broken your heart over and over again. I don’t even know what you’re still doing, running his resort.” “It’s our resort, mine and Reed’s.” “Yeah, how much yours?” “Enough to make it profitable and I love it out here. It’s calm, beautiful and…” “Reed always comes home eventually and crawls into bed with you. And that’s what you hang onto.” Leo shook his head. “Don’t compare my situation to yours, Leo.” He started the engine and let it rev a few seconds. “At least Reed isn’t married.” “No, he just fucks every guy who moves. That’s a whole lot better.” Leo sneered. Mark roared out of the parking lot. Leo jerked backward and then grabbed the seat belt. “Okay.” He laughed. “Okay. I’m sorry.” Mark grinned at him. “We don’t have to talk about Reed. Let’s talk about you. Why aren’t you painting?” “I don’t have any paints for one.” Leo laughed. “How come?” “I sold them for food.” “Aw, shit, Leo.” Mark groaned. “If only I’d known what was going on. No wonder you’re so damn skinny.” “And you look like you’ve put on a few,” Leo teased. “Shut up.” He punched him in the arm. 15

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“Ow.” Leo laughed. “Substitute for sex?” “Maybe.” “Are you getting any?” “Nope. Are you volunteering?” He laughed. Leo swallowed. Was he? Maybe. “No,” he joked, “you’re too chubby for me.” “Gee, thanks, Leo. I’m so glad I brought you home.” They both laughed. Honestly, Mark looked great. Sure he was a little heavier than he had been, but in no way did that take away from his charm. Mark was a cute, boyish looking sweetheart. He had a twinkle in his warm brown eyes and his sandy blond hair always looked messy no matter how much he combed it. He was short and stocky, a real Irishman in statue, but to Leo, right now, he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “What about Reed’s hot leftovers?” “Leo!” “I mean, excuse me, the gay men who come to the wilderness to fuck?” “Usually they bring someone to fuck with unless they’re into bears.” “Bears? No shit?” Mark grinned. “Only brown ones, no grizzly, at least not in awhile.” “Oh well, in that case.” Leo folded his arms across his chest and Mark laughed out loud. “You should see your face.” “Are there bears or not?” “Only the ones the twinks bring to keep them warm on cold nights.” “You’re a funny guy.” Leo shook his head. 16

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“Leo, we’re not in the woods. I told you the resort is in an isolated area, but not in the jungle. Relax, city boy.” *

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The resort turned out to be a beautiful main house with an indoor swimming pool and garden, and a huge dining room, with a series of private cabins scattered around, surrounded by lots of trees and bordered by a clear blue lake. “This is beautiful,” Leo declared when he got out of the car. “Yep, and not a bear in sight.” Mark smirked, taking the bag out of the trunk and handing it to him. “Anyone staying here now?” “One guy, a writer, rents the cabin with the kitchen down at the end. I never see him.” He lowered his voice. “He’s straight I think.” Leo snickered. “Funny how that sounds like a dirty word.” “Doesn’t it? Come on. I’ll show you around.” Leo followed along behind him as they moved toward the main house. “I could see myself painting here but”—he sighed—“no paints. I’d settled for crayons.” Mark glanced at him. “I may be able to help you out with the paints. I think I know where there are some. Can’t guarantee they’re still usable but…” “Did you take up painting?” Leo asked, stunned. Mark had never showed an interest in painting. “No…Reed,” he said. “He was quite good, set up a studio for himself in the attic, then he just abandoned it.” “I don’t want anything from…I mean, I don’t think it’s right for me to use his stuff without asking.” 17

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“He won’t care. I told you he just stopped painting suddenly. He never did give me an answer when I asked him. It was like he had…lost his muse.” Leo nodded and followed him inside. He knew what that was like. “It seems that Reed is a man of many talents,” he muttered. It wasn’t meant to sound insulting but he supposed it did. “It’s his talent in bed that gets him into the most trouble,” Mark confessed. “I swear, Reed could seduce a priest. There’s just something about him that—” “Well, I know one thing,” Leo interrupted, not really wanting to hear the details of Reed’s prowess in bed, “he’d never be able to seduce me.” “I doubt he’d try anyway.” “Why’s that?” Leo lifted an eyebrow. “You’re not his type.” “What’s wrong with me?” “Nothing wrong with you. I just don’t think that you’re his type of man, that’s all.” He paused. “Well, maybe if there wasn’t anyone else around.” “Gee thanks, Mark.” “Don’t take it the wrong way. Plus, you don’t like him for some reason. So like you said, he wouldn’t be able to seduce you.” “For some reason? I have plenty of reasons for not liking him; the way that man has treated you, for one. I can’t believe you’d expect me to feel warm and fuzzy about him.” “I didn’t say you had to feel warm and fuzzy. I just said you didn’t have to be so hard on him. He’s human.” “The real problem is you’re still hung up on the guy, in spite of all he’s done to you. He’s broken your heart time and time again and—” 18

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“Are you over Pierre?” Mark snapped. Leo fell silent. Mark sighed. “I’m sorry, sensitive subjects.” He laughed. “Let’s not go there.” “Agreed.” Mark waved his hand around. “This is it. Come on in. I’ll show you around.” The house was beautiful, rustic looking in its own way, lots of wood everywhere, floors and beams. It had been built with an open concept, spacious, with living room and dining room one big sprawling room. There was a big kitchen in the back, a small bathroom, and a porch that went all way round the house. “Bedrooms are upstairs with two other bathrooms. You’ll have your own,” Mark said, running up the carved staircase. The narrow passageway was well lit on both sides. Mark indicated three large bedrooms. The decor was very male, but tasteful, and Mark showed him into the bedroom right across from his own. “You like it?” “Very nice,” Leo said as Mark put down his backpack. “Come on, I’ll show you where Reed paints.” Leo followed him down the hallway. “What’s this room?” he asked, trying the door. It was locked. “Oh, ah…the other bedroom. Sometimes Reed sleeps there,” he muttered. “Oh.” He had guessed that when Reed did come home, he and Leo shared the master bedroom, but it didn’t look that way. “This door leads to the attic,” he said, opening the last door at the end of the corridor. Leo followed Mark up a flight of stairs. When he arrived at the top, he let out a gasp of pleasure. “Oh, my God, it’s beautiful.” 19

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Mark grinned. “I knew you’d love it.” “The light is perfect.” He walked around the large open space, running his hands over the array of paints and brushes strewn across an old metal table. A variety of easels sat on the floor, some just waiting to be brought to life, as well as some with paintings in various stages of completion. He picked one up and turned it around, studying it. “Did he paint this?” “Reed painted everything here. You know me; I can’t draw a straight line.” “He has the eye. It’s very…” He swallowed. “It’s full of passion.” Mark came and stood beside him. He peered at the painting of a meadow with a variety of wildflowers in the distance. There was some sun, but the sun was obscured by the clouds. “Where do you see passion in this? There aren’t even any people.” “There doesn’t have to be people,” Leo said. “It’s a very sensual scene. The colors he used, the way he stroked the canvas with his brushes. Did he take lessons?” “I don’t think so.” Leo put down the painting. “He’s a natural then.” “Um,” Mark murmured. “He’s that, all right.” Leo laughed. “We’re talking about different things, I suspect.” “Yep and we agreed not to…” “So, shut up already,” Leo teased. Mark laughed and took him in a headlock. They tussled a little and it felt natural, like when they were boys. Mark released him. “Let’s go downstairs. I’m starved.” “Good idea. You sure he won’t mind if I use his—” “Don’t worry, I can handle Reed.” In the kitchen, Leo helped Mark make chicken sandwiches. 20

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They ate outside and drank cold beer. It was relaxing and Leo was glad to be back in the US. “So,” Leo sipped his beer, “where is he anyway?” “Where is who?” Mark asked, swinging his legs up onto the railing. “Reed.” “I have no idea. Probably Europe.” “Hobnobbing with the rich and famous?” Leo laughed. “No, working most likely.” “Oh. I thought the resort was his work, that his family was rich.” “Well off, not rich, and this resort…” Mark chuckled. “Reed could care less about this place. He took it over when his father died. It was a hobby really for Jack, Reed’s dad. He was going to sell it until I begged him to keep it. I love it here.” “What is he doing in Europe? Don’t tell me, he’s a spy?” “Very cute. No, I told you, he’s a computer programmer, a practical genius.” “Oh, yeah, right. So he just runs around the world diddling people’s computers?” “Something like that.” Mark shook his head with a grin. “Reed’s a freelancer. He gets called in to set up computer systems where there have never been any before, and to fix problems. He does more and more charity stuff now, volunteering his time in third world countries, using computers to improve people’s lives. That’s what he likes best.” “That doesn’t sound like the guy you wrote me about—Mr. Egotistical, Insensitive, Fuck-Everything-That-Moved Guy.” Mark stared at his bottle. “He can be that, too.” Leo reached out and rubbed his shoulder. “You still love him. 21

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Does he even bother to tell you when he’s coming home or…” Mark stood suddenly. “He doesn’t owe me anything.” “I know we promised not to…but I guess I’m curious about… I’m concerned about you. Are you hanging out here hoping one day he’s going to…I mean, are you together at all?” “One day”—Mark looked at him—“Reed will wake up and realize that he loves me.” “And if he doesn’t?” “He will.” “And the last time he shared your bed was?” Mark sighed. “Leo!” “Answer me. It’s a simple question. When was the last time you fucked Reed?” “Last time he was home,” he said hastily. “Which was?” He cleared his throat. “I don’t remember.” “And you heard from him when?” “He called me on my birthday.” “Jesus, Mark. That was six months ago.” Leo shook his head. “Fucking men. I finally refused to let Pierre walk all over me. You shouldn’t let Reed.” “Reed isn’t married. He doesn’t fuck women.” “Just everything but.” “I don’t know who he’s fucking, and I don’t want to know.” Leo stood. “Why not buy this place from him if you want to stay here? Pack his things and tell him to leave.” “He’d probably give it to me if I asked,” he said, his head down. “Then why don’t you—” “Because, goddamn it…” Leo turned around. “I’m in love with 22

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him. I have been since the first time I laid eyes on him, and I can’t stop. It’s like an addiction. He’s an addiction.” “What’s it going to take for you to kick it?” Mark shook his head. “My last breath.” Leo felt that in his gut. Pain. He felt Mark’s pain and he moved to him quickly and pulled him into his arms. “Oh, Mark,” he said softly, kissing his hair. “If I could take away all the pain the man has caused you, I would.” Mark hugged him tight for a moment. “I know,” he said, then released him. There were tears in his eyes. He blinked them away. “So much for not going there.” Leo wiped his own eyes. “I’m sorry. My curiosity got the better of me. I’m sorry for the way I feel about Reed, but you understand why, don’t you?” He nodded. “Yes, but don’t. And you have to promise me that if Reed does show up here, you’ll be nice to him.” “Will I have a choice? It’s his house.” Mark nodded. “Yes, it is.” “Okay, I’ll be nice, but don’t ask me to kiss his ass, okay?” Mark grinned. “I’d never do that. That’s my job.” *

*

*

Leo slept like a baby that night. With the fresh air and extreme quiet he slept ten hours straight. Mark told him that he was probably suffering from jet lag. The next day, he lazed around with Mark. They watched movies and took walks around the water. The one guest Mark told him about, who was staying in the far cabin, turned out to be Adrian White, a prominent writer. They ran into him on their walk, and Mark introduced them. He was a nice23

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looking man in his young forties with blond hair. He wasn’t much of a talker, but he was personable and polite. “Wow, I’m impressed,” Leo said on the way back to the house. “I’ve read a lot of his books, detective stuff. He writes really good stories. He’s not how I pictured him to be.” “What? You thought he’d look like Sherlock Holmes?” Mark thought his little joke was pretty funny. “No, jerk wad.” Leo gave him a shove. “I thought he’d be taller.” They both laughed at that. “He is pretty good-looking,” Mark commented as he put a frozen pizza into the oven. Leo turned on the television. Some crazy movie they both remembered seeing as teenagers was on, and they sat and watched some of it while they waited for the pizza to cook. At the same time they started to talk about some of the people they knew from high school, speculating about how they’d ended up. Later that evening, Leo called his mother and let her know where he was. She wanted him to come home. “No, Mom. I’m fine. I’m happy here with Mark and I’m going to start painting again.” Shit, he hadn’t lived at home for almost five years. She wanted to know if he had any money, if his health was okay. Was he eating? “Mark is going to give me some odd jobs to do, so I’ll have some money…so stop worrying. I’ll call you soon,” he told her and hung up. Mark was smirking when he got off the phone. “Mommy’s boy.” “Oh, shut up. I remember your mother bringing you food from home when we were in college, and doing your laundry!” Mark threw a cushion at him. 24

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Leo threw it back. “Pillow fight!” Mark screamed and they began to hammer each other with every cushion they could find. Finally Leo grabbed Mark and took him down on the sofa. They wrestled, trying to give each other Indian sunburns, laughing like two kids. “Am I interrupting something?” a deep male voice drifted across the room suddenly. Leo and Mark’s horseplay came to an abrupt end. Leo scrambled to pull down his shirt, his eyes wide as he looked at the tall man who stood in the entrance, a black duffle bag in his hand. “Reed!” Mark said. Leo looked at Mark, whose jaw had fallen open, then back at the man who stood in the room. If someone had asked him for one word to describe Reed Owens, the one word that would have come out of his mouth at that moment would have been riveting. Why? Because even if the ceiling caved in at that moment, he couldn’t have dragged his gaze away from the man. Not if his life depended on it. “Reed?” Mark repeated, getting to his feet. “I didn’t expect you.” Reed was at least six foot two, maybe even taller, and as he strode forward, Leo noticed the square shoulders, and the bulging definition in his biceps that were partially covered by the short sleeves of his sage colored T-shirt. He wore jeans, faded, tight enough to be modest and yet they fit his slim hips and flat stomach almost indecently, but only because he had the kind of body that got noticed. “Should I have called?” he asked with a wry smile, glancing at Leo, his eyebrow slightly raised. His hair was jet black and touched his shoulders like a whisper, 25

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little waves on the bottom, full on top, unruly even, falling forward on his forehead, playing up almost sinfully beautiful light blue eyes. His eyes had a hint of silver, large and expressive; and they were focused right on him suddenly. “Hello,” he said, holding out his hand. “I’m Reed Owens.” Square jaw, full mouth, a strong, tanned outstretched hand with long fingers, and immaculate nails, cut square and neat. He raised his eyebrow higher when Leo didn’t move, withdrawing his hand and rubbing his slightly rough shaven jaw with it. He seemed slightly embarrassed. Leo suddenly snapped to reality. He righted himself on the sofa and jumped to his feet. “This is my best friend, Leo,” Mark was saying. “You know the one I told you about from college?” Reed tilted his head “Yes, I remember.” “I…I’m sorry.” Leo laughed a little uncomfortably. “You took us by surprise.” Reed didn’t extend his hand again, so Leo didn’t offer his. “You can get back to it. I really need to clean up and get some sleep. I’m beat.” He turned and picked up the bag he’d dropped on the floor. Leo’s eyes moved over his back to his ass. It was a natural inclination, but he felt guilty about it when he found himself tracing the roundness of his buttocks in those jeans. Mark hit him when Reed disappeared. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Leo looked at Mark. “I…I thought you said he wasn’t coming back anytime soon.” “Lower your voice. I can’t predict these things. Maybe he won’t stay long.” Mark’s eyes moved to the ceiling as the shower 26

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came on. Leo saw him run his tongue over his lips. “You want to go upstairs, don’t you?” Mark shrugged. “It’s time for bed anyway.” He checked his watch and headed out of the living room. Leo threw up his hands. “Goodnight.” “Goodnight,” he said and disappeared up the stairs. Damn it. Leo sank onto the sofa. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. He was enjoying being here with Mark. It felt natural, safe. And now, he was back. Maybe Reed wouldn’t want him here. And maybe it would be uncomfortable with Mark fawning all over that…that insensitive prick. Leo fell back on the sofa. He’d seen a picture of Reed once. Leo had sent him one of the two of them together. It hadn’t been a very good picture. It was taken outside and was out of focus. The picture had never done Reed justice. Reed Owens was a heartbreaker, and now that he’d seen him in person, it was easy to understand why. He was born that way, one gorgeous son of a bitch. And the light in those eyes told Leo that he was no one’s fool. Men who looked like that were nothing but trouble, and he hoped Mark didn’t fall into bed with him tonight. But given the way he’d hightailed it upstairs, Leo didn’t hold out much hope for his resistance. *

*

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Leo woke to hear voices coming from above him. He realized that he’d fallen asleep on the sofa. He recognized one of the voices immediately. Mark. His voice was the loudest, plaintive, and clearly upset. The other voice belonged to Reed, of course, deeper 27

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in tone, calm in comparison. It seemed almost consoling. Bastard. Consoling was often just another word for condescending, like when Pierre had tried to take Leo in his arms after he’d confronted him about being married. Leo, Leo, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you…to make you cry to… Yeah right. Leo stood. He glanced at the ceiling, checked the clock on the wall. It was eight in the morning. Suddenly he heard footsteps banging down the stairs. The front door opened and slammed shut. Leo walked to the hallway. He heard footsteps at the top of the stairs. Expecting to see Mark coming down them, he called up, “Why in the hell do you let him do that to you, Mark? What did he do to you this time, the son of…” The words died in his throat as he saw Reed. “Why did you let him do what?” There was no expression on his face. It was all in his eyes as he looked directly at Leo. Leo balked. “Ah, oh, I thought…” “You thought what exactly?” He came down the rest of the way, tucking his T-shirt into his jeans. He stopped in front of Leo and met his gaze. He was inches away, still waiting for an answer. Leo took an awkward step backward. “Sorry, I thought you were Mark.” “Mark,” he stressed, as he detoured around him, “just made a dramatic exit a few minutes ago.” Leo cleared his throat, thankful that Reed hadn’t pursued the subject. “Thanks,” he muttered and went out the front door, scanning the surroundings for his friend. He spotted some movement down by the water and made his way toward the lake. “Mark!” he called. Mark turned and lifted a hand to him in greeting. Leo continued his trek down to the water. “Hey,” he said when 28

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he was close enough to see his face. Mark gave him a faint smile. “Sleep okay?” “You?” He shrugged and turned away. He picked up a stone and skipped it across the water. Leo came up next to him, picked up another and did the same. “Remember when we used to do this in the summers at your uncle’s cottage?” “Yeah. I was always better at it.” Leo nudged him and laughed. “You were a show-off.” “That girl, Heidi…or…” “Hattie. She had the biggest crush on you.” “If I’d been straight, I’d of married her and had ten kids by now.” Leo made a face. “Ten?” Mark picked up another stone. “Maybe not ten.” “You want me to leave?” Mark turned around and dropped the stone. “No, hell, why would you think that? I have stuff for you to do.” “Because Reed is here and…” “Fuck him.” “You were fighting this morning. I heard you.” “We weren’t fighting,” he denied. “We were having a discussion.” “You were upset.” “He is so…fucking…” He stopped. “He can be stubborn.” “Where did he sleep last night?” Mark turned and began walking back to the house. Leo followed. “Mark, where did Reed…” “In the other room.” He grunted, looking at him. “Happy?” 29

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“No, I’m not happy. Why would I be happy when you’re so miserable?” They stopped at the stairs. The slight breeze in the air blew Mark’s hair back from his face. “Because you think I shouldn’t care about him anymore, that he…” “He makes you miserable. He doesn’t even sleep with you. He’s punishing you, using his body to…” He stopped talking as the front door opened. “Leo, there’s someone on the phone for you, long distance.” “Long distance?” he echoed, climbing the stairs. He looked at Reed. “Woman or man?” “A woman. It’s your mother.” He gave him a wry grin and handed him the mobile. Leo felt himself go red. What was it about this guy that he had the ability to make people feel like idiots? He walked into the house with the phone and Reed walked out. Leo glanced over his shoulder. Is that the way it was going to be—he came in one door and Reed went out the other? Maybe Reed sensed he didn’t like him. “Hi, Mom, what is it? We just spoke yesterday.” “I’m sorry, dear. I’m worried about you,” she said. “I think you should come home instead of staying with some strange men in the—well, out in the middle of nowhere.” He laughed. “Mom, Mark is hardly a strange man. You’ve known him for years.” “Who was that man who answered the phone?” “Now he might qualify I suppose.” Leo laughed. “Anyway, I’m fine. Stop worrying.” “Your sister misses you, and your father, too, even though… Well, you know him. He doesn’t say much.” 30

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Leo didn’t comment on his father. Things had never been easy between them. “He says you can come home if you…you know, tone things down a little.” “Tone things down a little?” He gripped the phone. “Oh, pretend I’m straight.” “Not that, Leo, stop. He knows about…well…the way you are. He just doesn’t want to hear about it, that’s all.” “The way I am.” He laughed. “What way is that, Mom?” “Anyway, we don’t need to go into all that. You’re our son and we love you. And you can come home anytime.” “As long as I, ah…tone it down. Well, no thanks. I love you, Mom. I’ll call soon.” He hung up. He was shaking, everything he wanted to say held deep inside. “She doesn’t understand,” a voice said. “It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.” Leo looked up in surprise to see Reed standing in the living room, a few feet away. The words came out of his mouth before he even thought about them. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. And what in hell were you doing listening to my private conversation?” Reed’s expression didn’t change. He lifted his broad shoulders rather casually. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It is none of my business, and as for listening to your conversation, given that you were hollering into the phone, it was hard to miss when I walked in the door. I thought maybe you’d be upset, and my words would comfort you. I was out of line.” He turned to leave the room. Leo hadn’t been expecting an apology. He felt stupid and embarrassed. “You have the knack of making people feel like idiots, don’t you, Mr. Owens?” he muttered. Shit. Why don’t I just 31

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apologize instead? Reed paused at the door. He didn’t turn around. “You give me too much credit, Leo. I don’t have any magic ability to make people feel anything. I think you’re quite capable of experiencing what you feel all on your own.” Leo found himself standing there, phone still in his hand, in an empty room, Reed’s words ringing in his head. You smug son of a bitch. He took a breath. “What’s wrong with you?” Mark asked as he walked in suddenly. “Nothing,” he snapped. “You look like you’d like to kill somebody.” “Yeah, I’d like that.” “Who was on the phone?” Mark asked him, reaching for it and taking it from his hand. “My mother.” “Again?” Mark replaced the phone on its receiver. “She thinks you’re corrupting me.” He smiled, trying to shake off his anger. Mark laughed. “God, that was done long ago. And I wasn’t to blame.” Leo sank into the easy chair. “She says I can come home as long as I pretend to be straight. I have no intention of going home. I’m twenty-five years old. But even if I wanted to, I…damn it, Mark, she doesn’t even know me. And my father…God…” Mark came over and stroked his hair. “It never bothered you before. Why now? Is it because of what happened with that French man?” “I know I told you that I came to terms with it…but damn it, you’re so lucky with your parents.” 32

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“It wasn’t easy in the beginning. Now, they don’t care anymore. My mother volunteers with gay teens. Imagine.” He laughed. “They do want me to find some nice fellow and settle down though.” Leo stood. “How do you stand him?” “Who?” “You know who. He’s so damn smug, and arrogant.” “Whoa, what did Reed do?” “Stop defending him.” “I’m not defending him, but Leo, he’s been back less than twenty-four hours and already he’s pissed you off. What did he say?” “It’s the way he looks at a person.” “Leo, come on.” Mark laughed. “That’s not fair. What did he say?” “Oh, some crap about my mother loving me even if she didn’t understand.” “Sounds like he was trying to be nice.” “Nice,” Leo hissed. “He was trying to be…” He stopped. Listen to me. What to hell has gotten into me? Stop demonizing him. He’s not Pierre. “I was unfair. I said something I shouldn’t have and he gave it back to me, twofold.” He laughed a little. Mark eyed him. “I know how he’s treated you, how he’s hurt you, and I suppose I can’t help but make the comparison with Pierre.” “Leo, I’m not a little boy in need of your protection. Stop it. Be civil to him, and knowing Reed, he’ll be civil back. Now, are you ready to do some work today? The shed outside needs painting and I’m sure you’re low on cash.” “Is it all right with Reed?” 33

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“I spoke to him about it last night, and he said yes.” “Okay. Do you have some old clothes that I can put on?” “Yep. I put a big bag of old stuff in your room. You just have to find something in there. And all the paint and brushes are out in the shed. You won’t need primer because we’re going to paint it the same color, so it just needs a going over. You may need to scrape a bit. The paint has peeled in places, especially where the sun hits.” “Yes, Captain.” Leo saluted. Mark grabbed him and hugged him for a second. “You’ll always have me. I love you, crazy boy.” Leo hugged him back. “I know. And I’m sorry for being so protective of you. It’s just that you can do so much better than him.” He made a face. “There’s someone out there who will love you and treat you right and—” “Well, never mind that now.” He clicked his tongue. “Let me make you some breakfast and then you get to work, slave.” Leo clicked his heels. “Jawohl mein kommandant.” They ate delicious cheese omelets and brown toast, drank almost a pot of coffee between them, and chatted about all the renovations Mark had planned for the place. A half hour later, Mark stood and announced to Leo that he’d take care of the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. “Get ready and go to work. I’ll bring out some ice tea later.” Mark laughed as Leo made a show of marching out of the room like a soldier. He stopped as he walked up the steps, a grin on his face. It was wonderful how Mark could put him in a good mood. He couldn’t help thinking that somehow they probably belonged together, but someone had stood in the way of that possibility a few years back. 34

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As he got to the top of the stairs, a door opened at the end of the hallway, the door that seemed to always be locked. And there stood the man who had possibly altered his future. Reed walked out wearing nothing but a pair of short nylon shorts and cross trainers. His hair was plastered against his head, and his tanned, hard body shone with sweat. He was wiping his face with a towel and didn’t notice Leo standing there, frozen to the spot. Leo’s tongue snaked out and unconsciously licked his lips as he allowed himself to revel in the fluid hills and valleys of Reed’s incredible body. He could practically forgive Mark’s obsession at this moment. He had perfect pectorals, flat abs, and biceps that bulged just enough. His thighs were well muscled and so were his calves. And an extremely interesting bulge rested in those nylon shorts, generous to say the least. The towel hung from his hand now as he lowered it from his face, and Leo realized he was looking right at him. “Did you want something?” Leo bit his lower lip. He shook his head. “I…I came to get some… It’s okay,” he said, and ducked quickly into his room, which, mercifully, was close. When he got inside, he sighed with relief, closed the door and leaned on it. This is fucking ridiculous. What in the hell has gotten into me? His cock was hard. He couldn’t believe it. Seeing Reed standing there half naked had given him a hard on. I don’t even like the guy. When the knock came on the door, he stiffened. Oh, God. “Yeah? I’m, ah, getting dressed.” “I’m sorry to disturb you, Leo. I just wanted to tell you that you’re welcome to use the studio upstairs, and the supplies, while you’re here. I won’t be using them.” He opened his mouth. What did he say to that? “Thank you,” 35

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he replied. There was no answer and no sound outside the door. It looked like Reed didn’t wait for an answer this time. Leo found some old jeans and a T-shirt and put them on. They were long in the legs and tight in the waist but they’d do. After putting them on, it suddenly dawned on him that at one time these clothes must have belonged to Reed, especially the pants since they were for a taller man than Mark. The T-shirt was roomy, so that was probably Mark’s. Great. I’m walking around in Reed Owens’s pants. When he left the room, he noticed the bathroom door was open. The room looked steamy but the shower wasn’t running. He caught a glimpse of Reed, a white towel around his waist. He was shaving with a straight razor. Leo poked his head in the door. “Not a lot of men shave with a straight razor anymore,” he said, trying not to follow the drop of water slowly making its way down the front of Reed’s chest. Reed glanced at him in the mirror. “I’m not a lot of men.” Leo cleared his throat. “No, you’re not. I just wanted to thank you for your offer.” He shrugged. “Not a problem.” “I kind of lost my… I haven’t painted in awhile.” “A great artist needs inspiration. I hope you find it here.” Reed ran his razor under the water and shook the shaving cream off of it. The white towel was wrapped snugly around his hips. It framed his round, hard ass just fine. Leo’s gaze strayed there and then went back to the mirror. “Well, I’m off to paint the shed.” “Put on some sunscreen. It’s brutal out there. Ask Mark. He has some somewhere.” “I will, thanks,” he said and moved off down the hall. His cock ached and there was no reasonable explanation for it. He took the 36

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stairs two at a time, and called out to Mark. God damn that Reed. He was a fucking sorcerer. Mark came out into the hallway. “Yeah?” “Sunscreen? You got some?” “Good idea. I’ll bring it out. And don’t you look cute in Reed’s old pants.” He walked off to get the sunscreen while Leo slapped the screen door open and went outside. I may be in Reed’s pants but… But what…it was too bad Reed wasn’t in them? He laughed to himself. It was just too funny. Reed was the last guy on this earth he’d ever consider fucking, him and Pierre. When Mark brought out the sunscreen, Leo was opening the paint can and laughing to himself. “Okay,” Mark said, handing him the bottle, “you’ve bought the farm now?” Leo shook his head. “Private joke. I’ll be all right. This is a great color.” “A nice sage,” Mark agreed. “Reed offered me the art room, you know.” “He told me he was going to.” “It was nice of him. I thanked him.” “Good,” Mark said, turning to go. “It will be nice if you two try to get along.” “How long is he going to be here?” Leo inquired, checking the roller. “I have no idea,” Mark said. Leo watched Mark until he entered the house and then went to get the ladder. *

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Leo spent the next few days scraping the shed. It was in much worse shape than Mark had let on. Reed seemed to be avoiding him. He spent his time reading in his room and going off by himself, jogging or biking. That was fine with Leo. He’d almost forgotten he was around. Finally he got to the point where he was able to apply the color. Even with house paint, Leo loved the velvety texture of it and the way it glistened when it was wet, covering the old and making it brand new with its intensity. He was so into it, he didn’t realize he had a spectator. “You missed a spot,” a voice said, a smooth deep male voice he knew right away belonged to Reed. He reminded himself to be nice. “Where?” He squinted in the sun, glancing over at him. Reed leaned against an old birch tree, his well muscled arms across his chest. He wore a pair of blue shorts and a white cut off T-shirt. He had an almost devilish look on his face that made Leo kind of suspicious of his intentions. As Reed pushed away from the tree and came forward, he adjusted the dark sunglasses on his face. “Right there.” He pointed. Leo glanced up to the top of the shed. “Where? I don’t see it,” he replied, turning back. And as he did, Reed ran a narrow paintbrush right down the middle of his face. Leo’s eyes widened. The grin on Reed’s face widened as well. “Right there,” he said softly, then he put down the paintbrush and laughed. “I can’t believe you…” But it was funny, and as angry as he wanted to be, he began to sputter and then laugh, too. “Did you just put paint on my face?” “Yeah.” He nodded nonchalantly. “You did a good job,” he 38

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commented casually, and then began to walk away as Leo just stood there aghast. “Don’t worry,” he added, “it’s latex.” “I will seek revenge,” Leo called out as Reed headed across the field, walking down to the lake. “I’m counting on it,” he called back. “And by the way, how does it feel being in my pants?” He laughed loudly but didn’t look back. Leo made a face, shook his head, and looked for a rag. He tried to wipe some of the paint off but suspected he was making it worse. “Good Lord!” Mark exclaimed when Leo came into the house. He began to laugh. “You were supposed to paint the shed, not your face.” “Don’t say anything. Why didn’t you warn me that Reed was like that?” “Warn you that Reed was like what?” “He did this to me.” Mark looked surprised. “Well, I know he can be a bit of a devil sometimes but…I’m surprised.” “He enjoyed it, too.” Leo muttered. “I’m going to take a shower.” “Good idea.”

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CHAPTER 2 Mark was really happy to have Leo here with him. He’d missed him like crazy and had been worried about him when he was in France, out of money, and depressed over Pierre. He was relieved to have him here safe and sound, but although he’d never mention it to Leo, the timing couldn’t have been worse. He’d been after Reed to come home for months. And now that he finally had, Leo was here. Not that it would have made any difference. Reed was being impossible as usual, sleeping in the spare room, even locking it at night so that he couldn’t get in. “Mark, stop it,” Reed had told him the night he’d come home. “Why do you insist on doing this?” “If you’d only give it a chance,” Mark had pleaded. “Please, Reed baby, I love you. Is the thought of fucking me that obnoxious 40

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to you?” “Is that really all you want, for me to fuck you?” Reed had asked. He pulled his sweatshirt over his head and threw up his hands. He never raised his voice. That wasn’t Reed’s style, but Mark knew he was pissed off. “Don’t you want more than this, Mark? Don’t you want passion and desire, a man who gets hard just thinking about you?” “I want you.” Mark moaned. “I love you.” Reed shook his head. He walked to the door. “I can’t, Mark. Don’t ask me, okay? I care too much about you to do this to you. I won’t do this.” “You still blame me for what happened,” Mark told him, miserably. “You hate me for that.” “I don’t hate you,” Reed said. “I forgave you long ago.” “If it was him, you’d…” “Stop it, Mark. I’m warning you.” He glanced at him. “You promised we’d never talk about him again. If you do, I swear, I’ll leave here and I’ll never come back.” The door closed. Mark tightened his hands into fists at his sides. There was nothing more painful than having him down the hall, knowing he was this close and yet so far away. He’d been home now for over two weeks, and that door had stayed locked every night. Reed was sitting outside on the balcony, looking out at the water, his feet up on the railing. The writer, Adrian White, was in a rowboat with his life jacket on, not far from the shore. “I think he’d live here if he could,” Mark said, indicating Adrian in the boat. “Yeah. I spoke to him earlier. He said he wants to stay another month. He’s experiencing writer’s block.” 41

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“Um.” He reached out and caressed Reed’s hair. He didn’t say anything but Mark had the feeling he wouldn’t let it go on too long. Mark withdrew his hand. “Leo told me you painted his face.” Reed lowered his legs. He glanced at him. “It was a joke.” “Leo doesn’t really like you.” “I know that.” “It’s my fault.” “I know that, too.” He stood. “Hungry?” “Yeah. You cooking?” “I’ll do steak on the barbeque if you make those stuffed potatoes I like.” Mark smiled at him. “You got a deal.” *

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Leo came downstairs to the smell of cooking and hurried to the kitchen. He leaned on the counter watching Mark as he mashed the potatoes with sour cream and shallots and then stuffed them back into the potato skins. “Reed loves these.” “Looks great. You put cheese on them, too?” “Yeah. You can grate some if you want. Cheese is in the fridge. Reed is grilling the steaks.” “You want a salad?” “I chopped up the stuff. I need to make the dressing, oil and vinegar.” “I can do that,” Leo volunteered. As Leo began to grate the cheese, Mark put the potatoes back into the oven on a tray. Suddenly some heavy metal music began to drift in from outside and Mark moaned. “Oh no, Reed. Come on, classical!” 42

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Leo sniggered. “That’s good music.” “It’s not dinner music. Oh shit, we need to go down to the wine cellar.” “I’ll go,” Leo said. “Where is it?” “Take the door through the kitchen on the way outside. You can’t miss it. Light is on the side of the wall. Get merlot.” “Okay.” Leo found the door right away and switched on the light. He carefully descended the stairs and found a small room with rows and rows of wine bottles. “Merlot?” he said out loud. “Where is that?” Suddenly, he heard footsteps. “Mark, good, I can’t find the…” He paused to see Reed appear in the doorway. “Ah, we must have had the same idea. I didn’t know Mark sent you down here to get the wine.” “I, ah…can’t find it anyway,” he said, suddenly feeling a little claustrophobic. “The merlot is over here,” Reed said, brushing past him to walk down to the end of the wall. “My father used to have a restaurant here, and he loved wine.” He took out a bottle and handed it to him. Leo accepted it and studied the label. “I came down here as a teenager and spent hours reading the labels.” Leo narrowed his eyes. “Seems like an odd thing for a teenager to do.” “Not really.” He laughed. “I used to love to drink wine, even back then, but my father wouldn’t let me drink too much until I was an adult. He did let me reorder the stock, however.” “Ah ha…I sense a scam,” Leo accused. 43

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“Dad kept precise track of all the bottles of wine he used, so by memorizing the labels, I could fudge the order a bit. Needless to say, there was always an extra bottle that Dad never missed. I was particularly fond of merlot.” Leo ran his gaze over him. Reed leaned back against the wall, his head turned to one side, as if he was lost in the memory of his youth. “I lost my virginity down here.” The words came softly, almost reverently. Leo had a hard time taking his eyes off of the man, although he knew he should. His gaze followed the line of the jaw to Reed’s throat, the place his shirt laid open on his chest, then back to his lips. He had the most incredible mouth. “Really?” Leo replied, his mouth going dry. “Here among the wine bottles.” He tightened his fingers around the bottle. He found it hard to breathe when finally Reed met his gaze. “He was about the age I am now, twenty-seven or twenty-eight and he had the most incredible eyes.” “How old were you?” “Fifteen. And I was ready. I was so ready. He was a guest, a well-known athlete who shall remain nameless.” “Were you scared?” Leo asked him, leaning against the wall as well. He found his head falling in Reed’s direction, their faces close together. “No,” he murmured. “I was too damn horny to be scared. He was so beautiful. I came before he even touched me.” “I bet he thought that, too.” “You bet he thought what?” “That you were beautiful.” Reed picked his head off the wall suddenly and laughed. “Why, Leo, I didn’t know you cared.” 44

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He was teasing him, and Leo straightened up and cleared his throat. “Well, he must have thought you were something to risk his reputation. You were just a kid.” “I don’t think I was ever a kid.” He grinned. “Except maybe in actual years. I was the only child and I grew up fast. My parents didn’t indulge me much. They pushed me, treated me like an adult. I just didn’t have much time to be a kid.” Reed rested his head against the wall again, his face turned in Leo’s direction. “Do you regret not having a childhood?” Leo leaned his shoulder against the wall. “No.” Reed reached out and touched Leo’s cheek, his voice soft and compelling. “I try not to regret anything.” It was completely unexpected. His fingers lingered on his cheek, and Leo felt flushed as he melted into those eyes. His mouth gravitated toward Reed’s, his gaze caressing his lips. It seemed like a dream. He was so close to those lips, he could feel Reed’s breath. Then a warning bell clanged in his head. He drew back abruptly, stiffened. What in fuck am I doing? Reed dropped his hand from Leo’s cheek. He smiled and brushed past him. “I better get upstairs before my steaks burn.” Leo didn’t move. He heard Reed’s footsteps climb the stairs and he came close to dropping the wine bottle on the floor. He had no idea what to make of that man. He wasn’t sure what Reed’s game was, or if he was even playing a game. He did know, however, that every time Reed Owens came within ten feet of him, his heart hammered in his chest like a drum. And that…well…that wasn’t good. *

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The steaks were great, although a little overdone, according to Mark. Everything was delicious. And Reed ended up going downstairs for another bottle of wine before they were halfway through dinner. Mark had taken the chocolate cheesecake out of the freezer, and they drank more wine while they waited for it to defrost. “Forgive me,” Mark said, looking at Reed. “I really forgot to take the cake out.” He giggled a little, which was a sign that Mark was drunk, and said something about the cheesecake not wanting to be eaten. Reed raised an eyebrow, and Leo laughed out loud. He wasn’t feeling any pain either, although he was considerably less gone than Mark, who was trying to squeeze the last drop of the red wine out of the bottle. “If you pound on the bottom,” Leo grinned, “you might get another drop or two.” “Very funny,” Leo mocked. “There is a solution.” He glanced at Reed who sat back in his chair, a half drunk glass in his hand. “Which is?” Reed asked with a faint smile on his lips, lips now moist with wine. Leo found himself thinking about tasting those lips, saturated with wine or something else—come, his come. As Reed gave Mark several reasons why he shouldn’t drink any more wine, Leo wondered if Reed was good at sucking cock. Mark had said he was good in bed. Leo didn’t doubt that somehow. A guy who looked that good certainly had had plenty of opportunity for practice. Reed stood. “Okay, Mark, I’ll go down and get you another bottle, but don’t blame me if you’re sick.” “Stop being my husband,” Mark muttered, attempting to struggle to his feet. “And I can go get the wine. You don’t need to 46

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come with…” Reed placed a hand on Mark’s shoulder and pushed him back down in the chair. “You’ll fall down the stairs and break your neck in that shape. I’ll get it.” Leo watched him go and then studied Mark. He was really sloshed and probably another drink would put him under the table. He’d drunk too much himself, which was definitely responsible for his bizarre thoughts concerning Reed’s mouth a few minutes ago. Leo reached over and squeezed Mark’s hand. “You okay?” He pulled it away. “Why shouldn’t I be fucking okay?” Leo lifted his hands in the air. “Okay.” He knew how Mark could get if he got really drunk, and he suspected by the hesitant look on Reed’s face as he placed the fresh bottle on the table, that he did as well. “Where’s the corkscrew?” Mark muttered. “I’ll open it,” Reed volunteered. “You want another glass, Leo?” He placed the corkscrew in the bottle and proceeded to open it. “No. I think I’ve had enough, thanks,” he replied. “So you’re going to let me drink alone,” Mark accused, looking at Leo. “Mark, I’ve had enough.” Leo laughed. “You know my limit.” “Yeah, you might go crazy and jump Reed.” There was absolute silence. Leo’s eyes widened. Reed reacted in the way he usually did, with very little alteration in expression. He just glanced at Mark then at Leo. “See what I mean?” “What?” Mark asked, taking a sip of the wine Reed had just poured him. “We’re all adults here. I’m only stating the obvious.” 47

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Leo was getting uncomfortable. “Mark, knock it off.” He was embarrassed as well. And Reed just sat there looking at him. “Don’t help me,” he threw at Reed. Reed shrugged. “I can’t do anything with him when he gets like this. Don’t pay attention.” “Yeah, ignore me,” Mark muttered. “Reed is a champion at it, aren’t you, baby?” “Drink your wine, Mark,” he said quietly. “You know, I was actually enjoying your company tonight until this. Leo is your guest. Don’t make a fool of yourself.” “Fuck you, Reed. Mr. High and Mighty everyone wants your ass. And do you think Leo is any different?” Leo cleared his throat. “Mark, stop it. I have no interest in Reed.” Even as he said it, it didn’t ring true. He risked a glance at Reed. His expression hadn’t changed. He just looked disgusted with Mark. Reed got up from the table. “I’m going to bed,” he announced. “I’ll clean up in the morning.” “You do that, baby!” Mark hollered after him, draining his glass. “Enjoy yourself in that bed all alone, and be sure to lock the door because tonight I just might not take no for an answer, you fuck!” The glass in Mark’s hand flew across the floor and smashed. He put his face in his hands. Leo felt his pain but he was helpless to do anything for him. “Why do you stay?” he asked softly, curling his fingers around Mark’s wrist. “Why do you stay if he doesn’t want you? He’s hurting you and—” “I keep waiting for him to forgive me,” he whispered through his fingers. 48

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“Forgive you for what?” He shook his head. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.” He looked at him suddenly. “I drank too much. Reed’s right.” He wiped his eyes. “When I drink, I’m…I lose control, say things I don’t mean. I feel sick. I think I’ll just lie down on the sofa. I’ll be okay in the morning. I’ll eat my humble pie then.” He stumbled up out of the chair. Leo went to help him but he shook his head. “I’ll be okay. I’m sorry, Leo. I’m sorry,” he muttered as he staggered over to the sofa. Leo sighed and began to pick up a little as Mark crawled onto the sofa. By the time Leo had put the glasses into the dishwasher, he heard Mark snoring softly. He glanced at the defrosted cheesecake, sitting on the counter ready to eat, and shook his head. He scooped it up and put it back into the fridge. He turned off the lights, checked the locks, and headed upstairs. The door at the end of the hallway stood open, and the light was on. Reed hadn’t gone to sleep yet. He took a deep breath and walked to the door. He knocked twice. “Reed?” Reed appeared immediately. He’d taken his shirt off but, thankfully, he still wore his jeans. He placed a hand on the doorjamb and looked at him curiously. “What is it? You need some help to get Mark upstairs?” “No. He sacked out on the sofa. He apologized before he… He’s in a lot of pain,” Leo confessed, meeting his eyes. “It’s none of my business, but—” “You’re right,” he said abruptly, “it’s none of your business. Was there anything else?” “You can be a real ass,” Leo accused. “Mark said you were insensitive.” 49

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“I’m sure Mark said a lot of things.” “He’s my friend.” “Then what are you doing standing here talking to me? You don’t even like me. You think I’m an insensitive son of a bitch, don’t you, Leo?” Leo studied his face. Reed’s expression didn’t give him away but this time his eyes looked stormy. “I know what you’ve put Mark through.” “Well, then there’s nothing left to say, is there?” Leo swallowed. “Look, I appreciate that you love Mark. I don’t understand why the two of you aren’t together.” “We might have been if not for you.” There. It was said. And Leo didn’t even mean for it to come out like that. Reed seemed lost for words for once. He just looked at him. “It was a long time ago,” Leo said apologetically. Reed nodded. “Are you still…” He paused, looking down at the floor. “Still in love with Mark?” “Would you care if I was?” Maybe Reed still harbored some feelings for Mark. He looked up again. “I wouldn’t stand in your way if he’s the one you want, Leo.” “I…I just came out of a bad trip. It’s too early for me. I don’t know what I want. I love Mark. I’m just not sure if it’s more than just…you know, the kind of love you have for a friend.” He nodded. Silence hung in the air, a silence filled with something almost compelling, and, to Leo, it made no sense. He looked at Reed again, fighting the urge to run his gaze down over his remarkable chest and arms. 50

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“Was there something else?” Reed asked him suddenly. Leo didn’t realize that he’d been just standing there, saying nothing. “No,” he muttered. “Nothing. Sorry. I went into some kind of trance. I think I’m tired.” “Well, then you should go to bed. Good night,” he said and closed the door. Leo stared at the door. He waited to hear the lock turn. It didn’t. Leo almost reached for the handle, then gave himself a mental slap and headed to his own room. *

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Leo had some problems sleeping. He was up the next morning early giving a second coat to the shed. An hour later, just as he was finishing the trim, Reed appeared fresh from the shower with two mugs of coffee in his hand. He handed him one. “Thanks,” Leo said, surprised but grateful for the coffee. He took a sip and sighed. “Looking good,” Reed announced. “Me or the shed?” He laughed a little when he saw Reed’s grin. “I’m high on paint.” “I see that,” he said, sipping his own coffee. “You’re not going to get any hankering to paint me again, are you?” Leo asked, taking a step back. “Not today,” he replied, glancing up at the sky. “It might rain later.” “It never rains here.” “I feel it.” He looked pensive. “Is Mark up?” “No, he’s still sleeping.” He turned in the direction of the 51

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house. “I cleaned up the kitchen. Thanks for putting the things away last night.” “No problem.” That was it. He was already halfway back to the house. What a curious man he was sometimes. He’d never expected Reed to bring him coffee. It just didn’t fit with the character description, but then a lot things didn’t seem to fit anymore. By the time Leo had finished the second coat, Mark had risen from the dead, so to speak, and Reed had gone roaring off down the road on a motorcycle. “I didn’t even know he had one,” Leo commented as Mark handed him a chicken sandwich and a beer. “He’s had that old thing for ages,” Mark waved at him. Leo handed back the beer. “I’ll pass. I’m off alcohol today. I had my quota last night.” Mark sat with him at the table. “So what blubbering thing did I say last night?” Mark grabbed Leo’s beer and took a swig. “Everyone does nonsense when they’re drunk.” “Um. So, let’s have it.” He eyed him. “You mouthed off a bit at Reed.” “Nothing he didn’t deserve, I’m sure. Is that all?” He took a bite out of his sandwich. “You said something to me, after he’d gone upstairs, about forgiveness. What did you mean that you wanted Reed to forgive you? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” “Forget it.” He looked away. “Mark, talk to me. I want to help you. I think you should leave here and start over. I know it was hard for me to leave Paris, knowing I’d never see Pierre again but—” “Reed has offered me the chance to buy him out. He told me this morning.” Mark gave him a sad smile. “So you see there’s no 52

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need for me to leave here.” “Oh, Mark, I’m sorry,” Leo said, leaning his head over and resting it against his forehead. There were tears in Mark’s eyes. “But maybe you should just… I don’t know…sell it. You’d have money to start over.” Leo pulled back and searched his face for a reaction. “I don’t want to start over,” he said, getting to his feet. “I want Reed.” Leo shook his head. “Mark, he doesn’t love you.” “Did he tell you that?” Mark demanded. “No, but I can see it. He’s tried to tell you in many ways. He doesn’t sleep with you anymore; he stays away for months at a time. That should tell you…Mark?” Leo stood and took his shoulders in hand. “He’s a toxic guy. He’s the kind of man you should avoid at all costs. He’s making a fool of you. Maybe he likes to see men crawling at his feet. He’s arrogant and cruel.” Mark wasn’t looking at him anymore. His gaze was fixed on some place over Leo’s shoulder. Leo turned around to see Reed standing there. He had a helmet dangling in one fist, a grocery bag in the other. He didn’t say anything for a minute, his face an unreadable mask. “So,” he said finally, “I, ah…bought some crab for dinner tonight. Hope you like crab, Leo,” he said, looking at him. “I’ll just go and put it in the fridge.” Leo closed his eyes for a second when he disappeared. He’d braced himself for the worst, but Reed acted like he hadn’t heard any of it when Leo knew he had. “Oh shit,” he muttered. Mark patted his arm. “Don’t worry about it. He’s got a big…eh…ego, among other things. He’ll be all right.” “I need to apologize. I didn’t hear the bike…I…” 53

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“He put it in the garage. You wouldn’t hear it.” Mark sat back down at the table. “I understand what you’re saying about Reed, Leo, but it’s more complicated than that.” Leo didn’t intend to discuss it anymore. Reed was within earshot, and he’d already called him toxic, arrogant, and cruel, among other things. “Forget it. I was out of line.” Mark shrugged and finished his sandwich. A few minutes later he announced that he was going to go down to Adrian’s cabin to see if he needed anything. Leo decided to attempt that apology now while Mark was out of the house. When he walked into the kitchen, Reed was making coffee. “Hey,” Leo said, not sure if he should duck, or not. Reed glanced at him. “Hello, Leo.” “I don’t know how else to say it. I…I shouldn’t have said what I did. I…” “It was a private conversation I wasn’t intended to hear. What you say to Mark about me doesn’t really concern me.” Leo’s eyes widened. “Don’t you care that I called you a…” He put up a hand. “I know what you called me. You don’t need to repeat it. What would you like me to do, Leo, beat the shit out of you?” “No, but at least defend yourself.” “Why? You’ve already made up your mind about me. What can I possibly say to change it?” He met his gaze. Leo didn’t answer. He was right. “I’m not the kind of man who wastes his breath, Leo. I say what I have to say. I refuse to get into a battle with you about your opinion of me, especially since you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” 54

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Those last words were said in anger, and it was really the first time he’d heard Reed raise his voice. He turned his back to Leo, and Leo let his gaze wander over the light blue shirt he wore tucked into tight black leather pants. “I’m sorry.” He swallowed. “Do you accept my apology?” “You don’t need to apologize to toxic people.” Reed glanced at him. “The best thing you can do is to keep your distance.” He put down the knife he was using to chop up parsley. He turned around again and leaned his hip against the counter. “Did Mark have an affair when you were together?” Leo blurted. “No.” “Then what does he want you to forgive him for?” “Ask him,” he said, then turned and walked out the back door. Leo followed him outside. “I doubt he’ll tell me.” “Well, maybe you should leave it alone then,” Reed said between clenched teeth, clamping a hand on his shoulder. Leo reached out and took his arm before he could walk off. “Look at me. Mark is my friend and…” Reed lowered his head and looked into his eyes. His nearness was suddenly too much. Leo was shaking. Reed pulled him closer. “I am looking at you,” he breathed, his mouth close to his. “Stop this, Leo.” He grunted. He gripped his shoulder hard. Leo felt his groin hit Reed’s hip. “Stop what?” Leo demanded but he didn’t move away. “You know what,” he insisted. “If I’m toxic, then keep your distance.” He released him suddenly and walked off. Leo’s chest heaved. “Fuck” came out of his mouth. “What in hell was that?” That was a whole lot of sexual energy and it had wrapped 55

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around the two of them like some kind of giant web. There was no denying it. And Reed seemed to be even more aware of it than Leo was, or maybe Reed was just more capable of accepting it. But it made no sense to Leo. It was as if his head was thinking one thing and the rest of him…well…the rest of him wanted Reed. Maybe it was just the bad boy thing, this sexual fixation on insensitive, yet heart-stoppingly beautiful fuck machines that’d take you to paradise and give you that one night of raunchy, unadulterated sex, then kick you in the head in the morning. But it wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to give himself to Reed, because one night in his arms would never be worth the heartache that came with it. Mark had fallen into that trap, and five years later he was still caught up in it. But there was more going on between Reed and Mark than met the eye. Leo felt sure of that as he got into the cold shower and stroked his hard cock. “Fuck Reed,” he muttered. “Damn you and those intense blue eyes.” *

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Mark seemed quiet at dinner. Reed drank a light beer and they all ate the crab salad. “It’s very good,” Leo commented, looking at Reed. “Compliments to the chef.” Reed lifted his beer in acknowledgement but didn’t actually reply. “Reed cooks well in and out of bed,” Mark commented, draining his glass of wine. “Don’t start,” Reed said with a sigh. 56

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“I wasn’t starting anything. I was just stating a fact.” Reed went back to eating his salad. Leo stared at his fork. Mark got up suddenly and pushed his plate away. “I’m going for a swim in the pool. Anyone want to join me?” “I will,” Leo said, swallowing his last bite. “I don’t have a bathing suit though.” Mark chuckled. “You don’t need one.” Leo glanced at Reed. “I’ll pass,” he said. “Go ahead. I’ll clean up.” “That’s not very fair. You made dinner,” Leo replied. “When is life fair? Go on.” *

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The heated pool had a solarium right beside it with a jungle of plants. “I didn’t see the solarium yet,” Leo expressed to Mark as he walked in. Mark was already in the pool. His clothes lay in a heap on the ceramic floor. A pile of big fluffy towels sat on one of the deck chairs. Mark swam over to the side of the pool and looked up at him, pushing some of his wet hair out of his eyes. “Come on, Leo, I haven’t seen you naked since college. Take them off, unless you’re shy,” he taunted, snapping water at him. Leo jumped back and laughed. “I’ve never been modest. You know that. You’re the modest one.” “Oh, I’ve long since gotten over that.” Mark floated on his back, his erection bobbing up through the water. Leo’s eyes zeroed in on the helmet shaped head as he began to undress. There’d been a time in his life when he would have done 57

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anything to have Mark, to make him want him, but he wasn’t sure anymore. Did he want him if all Mark wanted was Reed? Leo felt Mark’s gaze caress him. He saw desire there. Leo could feel it in the pit of his stomach. He smiled at him. “Better move. I’m ready to dive in.” “Go for it,” Mark called out. Then the laughter died in Leo’s throat as the door opened. Reed walked in, and there Leo stood, stark naked. It was one thing to be naked in front of Mark, and quite another to be naked in front of Reed. And Reed was looking at him. “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Reed said, his voice sounding quite normal. He held the phone in his hand. “It’s for you, Leo. She said she was your sister. And it was important.” “Shit,” he muttered, holding his hands in front of him. Reed picked up a towel and handed it to him along with the phone. “Here,” he met his eyes. Leo put the phone to his ear, holding the towel in front of him. Reed left the room. “Meg, what is it?” “Hi, Leo,” she whimpered “Is this a bad time?” “Are you crying?” “I just can’t live in this house anymore. Can I come to you?” “Meg, what’s going on?” Tearfully, she told him about how Mom and Dad didn’t approve of her new boyfriend, and how they were trying to keep her prisoner in the house. “I’m seventeen years old, Leo. Either you take me to live with you or I’m running away.” “Don’t do that. Meg, I’m not living on my own, I…” Mark was at his shoulder suddenly. He motioned to him for the phone. “Meggy, it’s your Uncle Mark.” Meggy had always called him that. “Sweetie, you are always welcome wherever I am, but 58

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you need to work it out with your parents first. Why don’t you come for a visit during the summer vacation? I’ll talk to your folks and get it all squared away. You can stay for as long as you want. The boyfriend…ah…we’ll see about that. For now, just try to tough it, okay?” They talked a few more minutes, Mark telling her that her new boyfriend sounded great. “I’ll pass you to your brother,” he said, handing Leo the phone. Leo took it, smiling his thanks to Mark. “Yeah, I know honey. I know how it is. Okay, I’ll call you soon. Bye. Love you.” Mark took the phone from his hand and put it on the chair. “Thanks,” Leo said, suddenly realizing Mark stood very close to him, gloriously naked. He ran his gaze over him. He’d put on a bit of weight around the middle since college, but his body was still nicely toned. And he had a great ass. “Thank me right then,” he insisted, meeting his eyes. “Fuck me.” “But what about Reed?” He hesitated as Mark pulled the towel out of his hands. “What about Reed?” Mark lowered himself to his knees and took Leo’s cock in his hand. “He’s, ah…” Leo looked around. “He’s a big boy. He’s knows what fucking is. And he doesn’t care who I fuck. God, Leo, I don’t remember you having such a luscious cock.” He licked up the center. Leo shuddered, his eyes closing, but still his body was tight as a coil. What if Reed should walk in? “Hey,” Mark said, looking up at him. “Relax, will you?” He went to work on sucking his cock and for awhile Leo allowed himself to be carried away, but every once in awhile he looked 59

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around, worried about being interrupted by Reed. Mark was determined, and worked diligently on Leo’s cock with his tongue and lips, making it tough for Leo to continue worrying about Reed walking in on them. Leo’s hand sank into Mark’s hair. He moaned. “Um, nice, keep it up. Keep sucking it like that. Damn, you have a hot mouth, Mark.” That spurred him on. He doubled his effort. Leo let out a cry, his head going back as he pumped into Mark’s mouth. Mark grabbed Leo’s hips and took it all, then came off of his cock as it went soft in his mouth. Leo licked his lips, grunting out his satisfaction as Mark pulled him down on the cold floor. Lying back on his elbows with his thighs spread open, Mark’s erection brushed his cheek as Leo lowered his head. “My turn.” Leo smiled. “Do you know how badly I wanted to suck your cock back in high school?” “You should have just done it,” Mark said, reaching up and pulling Leo down on top of him. He kissed him deeply. Leo enjoyed the kiss but it didn’t thrill him like he wanted it to. Damn Mark. Maybe it wasn’t thrilling Mark either because he drew back and looked at him. “Suck my cock, crazy boy.” Leo laughed and kissed a trail down his chest to his stomach. He licked his balls and then took the head of his cock in his mouth. Mark didn’t take long to come and Leo was somewhat relieved. The electricity wasn’t there, even if what they were doing to each other felt fantastic. “I have lube and condoms up in my room,” Mark said, pulling Leo up into his arms after he’d come. “Do you want to fuck me?” “Yeah,” Leo said. It was no lie, but down deep, any ass would 60

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have done. He hadn’t had sex for quite some time, and he longed for the feeling. He would have preferred it if Mark would have wanted to fuck him, but as they wrapped towels around themselves and hightailed it upstairs, Leo realized they were both primarily bottoms, Mark more than him. “You ever fucked anyone?” Leo asked him as he began to lube Mark’s ass. Mark squirmed a little. “No. Reed was my first and he’s a top all the way. I always wanted to be fucked and I love it. I love the feeling of being taken, possessed by cock. Oh shit, Leo,” he said suddenly, “you’re not a top, are you?” “I’m versatile.” He grinned, positioning himself between Mark’s thighs. “I’ve been the top before but it’s not my preference.” “But can you get the job done?” Mark teased, wiggling his ass suggestively. “No worries there.” Leo winked at him and dipped the head of his cock into his ass, pushing deeper and deeper until he felt Mark’s tunnel embrace his shaft all the way. “Okay, crazy boy”—Mark grunted—“show me what you got, cowboy.” Leo threw back his head and began to move his hips, slapping his balls against his best friend’s ass until they were both shouting out their release. As Leo collapsed into Mark’s arms, they both laughed. He couldn’t help thinking that Reed must have heard all of that. Where in the fuck was he anyway? Did he leave the house? Was he lurking around, spying on them. Somehow I don’t think that’s Reed’s style. “That was great,” Mark said, his chest heaving. “Hey, what 61

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’cha thinking about? You sure seem far away.” “Nothing.” He turned his head on the pillow and gave him a smile. “Sleep in here with me tonight, okay?” “Mark?” He sat up, looked at him. “Um,” he said sleepily, one eye open. “You’re not going to get weird on me now, right? We’re not going to be weird, you know, our friendship…and…” “Don’t worry, Leo. I know there was no magic for either one of us, but it sure felt good. There’s no harm in making each other feel good, is there? We don’t have to be madly in love even though I know we do love each other like brothers. Is that a problem?” “No.” He grinned, relieved that Mark had come away with the same feeling he had. “No problem at all.” *

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It was fun waking up beside Leo, like old times really. They used to have a lot of sleepover nights when they were in high school, and they roomed together in college. They’d shared a bed more than once. “Now, who’s sleeping alone?” he taunted to the air as he climbed out of bed. Maybe, just maybe, Reed might think twice about leaving for good now. He threw on his robe and went into the bathroom, making sure to leave the bedroom door open. If Reed walked by the door and saw Leo sleeping in his bed he’d just have to deal with it, wouldn’t he? “Mark,” Leo called out, “who are you talking to?” Shit. He hadn’t realized that he was talking aloud. Reed, you 62

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make me nuts. “No one,” he came out of the bathroom, running a brush through his hair. “I could eat a horse. How about I make us a nice breakfast?” “Sounds great.” Leo yawned. “Got something for me to do today?” “Some of the cabins need painting, just to freshen up the walls. You may need to repair a few cracks. Feel like it?” “No problem. I think I’d like to try my hand at painting later today.” “Oh, Leo”—he grinned, jumping on the bed and hugging him—“you feel inspired again? Did I do that?” He grinned and ruffled Mark’s hair but he didn’t actually answer. *

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It hadn’t been Mark’s lovemaking that had inspired Leo. It was a dream he’d had last night, an erotic dream. He was making love to a beautiful body. He never did see the face. God, it was so erotic. Beautiful gentle hands brought him to orgasm again and again. He woke up with the taste to paint. After his shower, Leo came downstairs to find Mark preparing breakfast. Reed sat at the table with coffee and a newspaper. He didn’t look up when Leo walked in. “Mark, I want to thank you for talking to my little sister yesterday.” “No problem,” he said, placing bacon on some paper towel. “She’s welcome to come here any time to visit. She’s young and in love.” He sighed. “I remember that feeling.” “My parents can be really narrow-minded. She told me the guy 63

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had an earring and they’re freaking. Now you know how they freaked when they learned I was gay.” Mark handed him the bacon. “I remember. Put it on the table, babe. Eggs are coming. Reed, you want eggs?” “No thanks,” he said. “I’m not hungry.” “Not good to skip breakfast,” Mark scolded him, then started to whistle. Leo helped to set the table, glancing at Reed every once in awhile. “You going to take your nose out of that paper long enough to say hello?” Leo probed, trying to sound chipper. Reed lowered the paper. “Hello,” he said and then he raised it again and went back to reading. “Come on, Reed.” Leo reached over and snatched the paper out of his hand. He narrowed his eyes. “Give me the paper back please.” “No.” Leo popped some bacon into his mouth and picked up the paper. He squished it up and sat on it. “Have some bacon and I will.” Reed tilted his head. “I don’t eat bacon. So, give me back the paper, please.” Leo met his gaze. “What could possibly be so interesting in that paper?” “Maybe if you read it once in awhile, you’d know.” “Oooh,” Mark said and started to laugh. “There’s a war going on.” He put down the plates of egg and toast and fried potatoes. “Does anyone want…” He began as Leo picked up a piece of scrambled egg and threw it at Reed. It hit him smack in the face. Mark gasped. Reed slowly removed the egg from his face and Leo started to laugh. Reed stood and Leo stopped laughing. “Oh shit,” he muttered, jumping up from the chair as Reed went after 64

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him. “Guys! The breakfast.” Mark groaned, but the words were lost as Leo burst through the front door with Reed on his heels. “You little shit,” Reed called out behind him and Leo ran faster. He was laughing so hard suddenly that he could no longer run. He got to the shed and ran around to the back. Reed chased him there. Leo ran around to the front and Reed was there. There was no escaping him, so Leo ducked into the shed, holding up his hands. “I surrender,” he told him, laughing. “You win.” “What do I win?” he drawled, moving closer. The laughter died in Leo’s throat. Reed was too close. He moved back until he was pressed against the aluminum wall. “What are you doing?” “Why did you do that?” “Throw the egg at you?” Leo asked breathlessly. “It was for fun, that’s all.” “If you want my attention, there are better ways of getting it. So, answer my question, that’s the reason you threw the egg at me, right?” “It was a joke, that’s all,” Leo breathed. Reed planted his hands on either side of Leo, his eyes searching his. “What do you want from me, Leo?” “Nothing. I…what do you mean, what do I want?” His pulse raced, and damn his cock…he could feel it twitching in his pants. He licked his lips. Helpless. That’s what he felt looking into Reed’s eyes, totally helpless. “Last night you fucked Mark. You spent the entire night in his bed. So, what could you possibly need me for, unless you want to compare?” 65

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Leo found the strength to give him an angry shove. It pushed Reed back enough to allow Leo to escape from the wall. “I don’t want anything from you. You are one arrogant asshole.” “Mark is using you to get to me. He thinks I’ll be jealous if he sleeps with you, and that I’ll change my mind about leaving. I know him.” “Well, I know him, too, and last night had nothing to do with you, Reed.” He folded his arms across his chest, barred his path. “If you’re in love with Mark, you’re going to get burned.” “You are so damn full of yourself,” Leo threw at him. “Get out of my way.” “Kiss me,” he demanded. “What?” “Kiss me.” He seized hold of Leo and dragged him up to his chest. He looked down into his eyes again. “Leo, Christ, kiss me.” “You’ve lost your—” Reed’s mouth took absolute command of his, cutting off his words. The kiss was all encompassing, hot, yet tender, Reed’s tongue curving succulently around his. Leo felt Reed’s passion in the pit of his groin and right through to the end of his cock. Electrifying, that’s what it was. Electrifying and downright decadent. Leo clung to him, his fingers digging into the muscular flesh of his biceps. Suddenly, Reed released him, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. His dark hair fell across his forehead. His eyes were stormy, filled with some emotion Leo had never seen before. Leo licked his lips. He wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t know why this had even happened. And all he was left with was the taste of 66

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Reed on his mouth. “What the fuck?” Leo hissed, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah,” Reed sneered, “what the fuck.” Leo reached out and grabbed his arm. “Don’t go,” he urged. Reed paused, narrowed his eyes. “I need an explanation.” “No you don’t,” he pulled his arm away and walked outside. Leo followed. “Yes, I fucking well do. What in hell is going on between you and Mark? Mark was right. You want to fuck every guy in sight. You…” He glared at him. “So that’s why I kissed you, right? I want to fuck you?” “It’s a contest between you and Mark.” “You’re right, there is a contest, Leo, but it’s not the one you think.” “Mark uses me to get to you. And you use me to get to him.” He sighed. “Whatever.” “That’s it, isn’t it? You want to fuck me to get back at Mark for…I’m not playing this game, Reed.” Reed shook his head. “You got it all wrong.” “Well then, what was that in the shed?” “A kiss, if I remember right. It’s been awhile.” “Well, it was a more than that.” “Glad you think so,” he muttered. “I won’t do it again.” He walked off in the direction of the house. Leo threw up his hands in frustration and screamed at the sky. “That man drives me fucking crazy!” *

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Mark stood in the doorway, watching Leo approach. “What are you doing?” he called out. Leo resembled some sort of a mad man doing a rain dance. “Nothing,” he growled, marching up the steps. “Nothing at all.” “Reed just walked in here with the biggest scowl on his face, muttering to himself. He didn’t knock you one, did he, for throwing egg at him…and what was that all about anyway?” “It was just a joke, okay? A joke to lighten things up. I didn’t know he was going to chase me into the shed and—” “Chase you into the shed and what?” Mark searched his face. “Nothing, okay. He freaked out on me, that’s all. Reed takes everything too damn seriously.” “Well, make nice, will you? Adrian is coming to dinner.” “The writer?” “Yeah.” “I’ll behave if Reed will.” Mark saw a little smile appear on Leo’s face as he walked into the house. What in hell happened in the shed anyway? Mark walked up the stairs. He heard the treadmill going. Reed was in the spare room where he’d slept since coming home, and was running. Mark walked down the hallway and into the room. He watched him for a moment, all those gleaming muscles. He ran hard, sweat streaming down his face and his chest. A bottle of water sat on the side of the machine and he had on headphones. Mark pulled the plug out of the iPod, causing Reed to look up. “What did you do that for?” he demanded, slowing down the machine to a walking pace. “You’re in a bad mood.” Reed didn’t comment. 68

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“Your door was unlocked. I’m shocked.” “Go be shocked somewhere else.” Mark stood in front of the machine. Reed kept walking. He lifted up the plastic bottle and drank deeply, water running down his chin. He wiped it away. He was such a beautiful man, it made his cock ache just looking at him. And he’d never been his. Even that short while after Clifford had died, when Reed had cried in his arms, even then, his heart was somewhere else. “What did you do to Leo in the shed?” He sighed. “Jesus Christ, Mark. I didn’t do anything to Leo in the shed.” “That’s not an answer. Don’t even think about fucking Leo, okay?” He pointed at him. “I’ll kill you, I swear.” Reed shut the machine down and stepped off. He wiped his face with a towel. “Is that what Leo told you?” “Leo didn’t tell me anything, but he was upset.” “Was he?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Well, nothing happened. Have you given any more thought to what we talked about?” “You never should have given me a share of this place, Reed. I’ll never let this happen.” “Well, then fucking take it all,” he exploded. “I’ll give it to you. You’re not holding me hostage here, Mark.” “That’s not what I want, and you know it.” Mark came closer, touched his forearm. “I love you, Reed. I don’t understand why you can’t forgive me. It wasn’t my fault. It was an accident.” “You lied to me, Mark. You deceived me. And as a result, someone died.” “I was desperate.” He lowered his head. “You left me no choice.” “You just wouldn’t let go.” He shook his head. 69

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“It’s not that I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. There’s a difference.” “Spare me. It’s all a game to you.” “I promise,” Mark pleaded as Reed moved his arm away, “no more games.” “You’re still playing games,” Reed insisted. “Like last night in the pool with Leo.” “I won’t do it anymore, I promise. But what in fuck was that in the shed?” he insisted. “I told you, absolutely nothing,” Reed said. “Not that it has anything to do with you. I am not your possession, Mark. I don’t belong to you. We are not together. And we’re not going to be together, ever. Give it up.” “Promise me.” Mark swallowed hard. “Promise me, Reed, that you won’t fuck Leo. I couldn’t stand it if you did.” “Leo has no interest in me, so don’t worry, okay?” “And you, do you have any interest in him?” He waited for the answer, scarcely daring to breath. “It’s a redundant question,” he said after a few minutes. “Now, who’s coming for dinner?” “Adrian. I found out something interesting about him today.” “Oh yeah, what’s that?” Reed asked absently. Mark knew Reed was indulging him. Reed usually didn’t care too much for gossip. “He’s just come out of the closet. The reason for his latest divorce was because he got caught with a man.” “He’s just another statistic. There are a lot of cases like that with men of that age. What is he, forty?” “About. Good-looking, don’t you think?” Reed nodded. “Yes.” “If you’re going to fuck anyone while you’re here, do the 70

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writer and stay away from Leo, okay? Leo had it hard with Pierre. He fell for a married man.” “Pierre?” “Yeah, it’s the reason he’s here. Got stuck in Paris with no money. He’s still recovering from the heartache.” “I see. And it’s over?” “Who knows? I suppose.” “Your concern for Leo is touching, but Mark…” He shook his head. “I told you, nothing is going on between Leo and me. Just leave it like that. And you don’t need to throw me at Adrian White.” “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Mark sighed and headed to the door. “And our discussion is not over, Mark. If we can’t resolve it between ourselves, we’ll have to bring in a lawyer. I really don’t want to do that.” Mark stiffened. “That’s low.” “Like you said, Mark, one does a lot of things when one is desperate.” Mark slammed the door behind him and yelled, “You won’t get out that easy.” *

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Leo stood in his room quietly. He shouldn’t have been listening to the discussion. Most of it he couldn’t hear anyway, but he caught a couple of things. Mark’s voice was loud when he demanded to know what had happened in the shed. Reed didn’t tell him about the kiss. He heard the word lawyer and Mark’s threat just after he’d slammed the door. Leo walked out into the hallway as Mark got to his door. 71

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“Hey.” “Hey,” Mark said. “The writer is coming at what time?” “Around seven.” “Do you think he’ll stay late?” “I don’t know. Why?” “I wanted to paint today and I still haven’t—” “You can always excuse yourself to paint.” “I’ll be polite. So, what are we having?” “Chicken. Oh, and come downstairs and I’ll tell you the latest news about Adrian. You won’t believe what he told me.” “Okay.” He laughed. “Juicy?” “Oh yeah.” Mark put an arm around his shoulders and they walked downstairs together. *

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Leo helped Mark set the table. Reed came down just before Adrian arrived in a nice pair of black dress pants and a silky blue shirt. He entertained Adrian while Leo helped Mark put things on the table. It wasn’t hard to see that Adrian was impressed by Reed. Reed knew a lot about literature, and even Leo was amazed at all the books he’d read. And it wasn’t only Reed’s brain that Adrian noticed. That, too, wasn’t hard to see. And for some annoying reason, Mark seemed to be encouraging Adrian in his carnal interest. The conversation got off of books and naturally turned to sex. Mark started it all off by saying, “So, how many times have you been in a room with three gay men, especially as hot as we are?” It 72

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was a joke and Mark laughed, poking Leo, who feigned laughter as well. Reed lifted an eyebrow. “That was a rather stupid question,” he said to Mark. “Adrian is laughing. Lighten up.” Adrian’s gaze settled on Reed. “Well, I must say it’s been rare. I want to thank you for inviting me, Mark. And you also, Reed.” “You are most welcome,” Reed replied. “Can you go and get us some more wine?” Mark looked at Reed. “Sure.” “Maybe Adrian can go down to the cellar with you and help you choose a bottle,” Mark said. “Adrian is rather a connoisseur of wine, aren’t you, Adrian?” Leo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He stood at the same time as Reed. “I’ll help Reed choose a bottle of wine.” Reed looked baffled. “I think I can do that on my own. Oh, just tell me what kind you want and—” “Come on,” Leo said. “We’ll do it together.” He wanted to ask him why Mark was acting so bizarre. Reed hesitated, then followed Leo into the basement. Leo could hear him sigh when they reached the bottom step. Leo turned and looked at him. “Okay,” he asked in a hushed voice, “what in fuck is Mark doing?” “I suppose he’s playing a game.” “A game? He’s practically serving you on a platter to Adrian White.” “Um. Seems so.” “That’s it?” “What do you want me to say, Leo?” 73

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“Why is he doing this? This isn’t like Mark.” “Yes, it is.” He walked past him and went to choose the wine. “He’s in love with you and yet he wants you to sleep with Adrian.” Leo shook his head. “Doesn’t make sense.” “Better Adrian than you.” Leo’s head sprang up. “What?” Reed sighed again, holding up the bottle in his hand. “You heard me, and don’t be so fucking innocent, Leo. It’s annoying.” “I’m annoying now, Mr. Smug Ass.” His mouth twisted into a smile. “Mr. who?” Leo shook his head. “You and I are not going to sleep together, you got that?” He pointed his finger at his chest. Reed took his hand and pointed his finger away from him. “I got it. Now, can we please go upstairs?” “You’re not scared down here alone are you?” “I’m not alone, and I’m not scared,” he replied, walking past him. “Reed, about that kiss in the shed. I…” Reed turned and looked at him. “What kiss in the shed?” Leo felt the color drain out of him. “I just wanted to say it was…well…nothing.” “Good,” he headed up the stairs, “glad you thought so because I’ve forgotten all about it.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Reed stopped at the top of the stairs. He turned and met his gaze. “Now, I have a question for you. You don’t have to answer it, Leo. Maybe it’s something you can ask yourself later. Why was it so important to accompany me to the cellar and ask me why Mark was pushing me at Adrian? What could you possibly care if I go down to Adrian’s cabin tonight and fuck the shit out of him?” 74

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Leo blinked. “Well…I…I don’t…care.” Reed nodded at him. “Good to know.” Then he proceeded to the living room. *

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The wine flowed and Leo was not surprised to see the discussion switch to cock size and orgasms. Mark and Adrian were the most talkative on the subject whereas Reed sat back on the sofa, one leg tucked under him, adding very little to the discussion. Leo watched Reed, who ignored him completely. I’ve forgotten all about it. Damn. He didn’t have much of a memory. He’d kissed him less than fucking twenty-four hours ago. Leo drank some more of the wine. The more he thought about it, the more he drank. Was he really going to take Adrian back to his cabin and fuck the shit out of him? That’s what he’d said…he’d said fuck the shit out of him… And Mark would approve? Better Adrian than you. He could understand that, being Mark’s best friend and all…but… “You don’t want to get involved with these men,” Leo announced suddenly, interrupting something Adrian was saying. He looked at him. “Pardon me?” “I said,” Leo repeated, “you don’t want to get involved with these men, Mark or Reed, especially Reed. He’ll fuck the shit out of you”—he gave Reed a mocking look—“and leave you high and dry, crying in your beer, bleeding from the—” “Leo!” Reed’s voice, laced with anger cut him off. “That’s enough.” Adrian glanced from one to the other. “I’m missing something here.” 75

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Leo lowered his head, embarrassed. “I’m sorry.” He got to his feet. “I’ve had too much. And I really wanted to paint. Do you mind, Reed, if I go to the room?” He shook his head. “Do what you want.” “Thanks. It was really nice to speak with you tonight, Adrian.” He walked over and took his hand. “I’m sorry I got stupid. Wine goes to my head.” Adrian stood and shook his head. “I didn’t take offense. Good night.” “Night.” “I think I’ll be going as well.” He turned to Mark and Reed. “It’s getting late and I’m a little tired. I’m usually up early to write.” “Reed will walk you back,” Mark said, looking at Reed. “It’s a little dark.” Adrian glanced at him. “It will be my pleasure,” Reed said. “No problem.” Leo said goodnight again, watching as Adrian and Reed left the house. After the door closed, Leo gave Mark an incredulous look. “Are you out of your mind? Didn’t you get that Adrian wants him? You might as well have pushed Reed’s cock into his ass for him.” “You looked pissed,” Mark said. “I’m not pissed, I’m—” “A little too pissed if you ask me,” Mark said. He held his gaze with his. “What do…do you mean?” “You’re jealous.” “Don’t be insane. I have no reason to be jealous of Reed. He’s not mine.” “No,” Mark said matter-of-factly, “he’s not. And don’t forget 76

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that.” “Mark, do you think there’s something going on between Reed and me? Because if you do, you’re wrong. You couldn’t be more wrong.” Mark nodded. “Do you want me to leave?” Mark shook his head. “Oh no, no, Leo,” he said, coming over and hugging him. “I’m just…don’t listen to me, okay?” “Do you think it…do you think they’ll sleep together, Reed and Adrian?” “I don’t know,” Mark said, sliding his fingers through his hair. “Oh shit, Leo, what in fuck did I just do?” Leo went to comfort him, but Mark shook his head. “You know what? I’m not going to sit up here waiting for him to come back in. I’m going to bed. I’m going to show him that I just don’t care if he fucks Adrian or not, okay?” Leo nodded. “I’ll, ah…pick up a little.” “Thanks.” He leaned over and kissed Leo on the mouth. “Come and join me later, okay?” “Goodnight,” Leo told him. After Mark went upstairs, Leo began to slowly pick up the dirty glasses. He checked the clock as he put them into the dishwasher. It was almost eleven o’clock. They’d left ten minutes ago. It took no more than five minutes to walk to the cabin, and another five to come back. Reed had long legs and he was a fast runner. It wouldn’t take him long to… Leo walked to the front door and glanced out the window. He could see a light shining over the door at the last cabin. There was no sign of Reed. Fuck the shit out of him. And suddenly an image of that came to Leo’s mind… Adrian down on all fours and Reed fucking the shit out of him. 77

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Leo broke out into a sweat. He reached for the near empty wine bottle and raised it to his lips, downing the last few swallows of wine. Suddenly, he heard the door open and close. Leo turned around and saw Reed. He almost ran to him and hugged him. And that didn’t make sense. But he was so damn happy to see him. “Hi,” he said. Reed looked at him. “Hi, yourself.” “What happened to fucking the shit out of him?” He shrugged. “My cock’s not for hire.” “Oh.” He laughed a little. “Is that what you think Mark was trying to do, turn you into a rent boy?” He didn’t answer. “How much?” “Huh?” “How much for your cock?” He met his gaze. “I told you, my cock isn’t for hire.” “Pretend.” “I don’t like to pretend,” he replied. They were standing closer now. Reed’s expression was perplexed. “Do you think cocks are worth more by the inch?” “Are you drunk?” “No,” Leo shook his head, “not really. Maybe a little.” Reed laughed faintly. “Which is it…no, not really, or maybe a little?” Leo shrugged. “One of the above. You choose.” “I’d put my money on maybe a little.” He laughed. “You’re funny.” “Um, a laugh riot.” 78

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“So, why didn’t Adrian want to be fucked by you?” “Maybe I’m not his type.” “You’re everyone’s type.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Apparently not.” “Tell me the real reason?” Leo came closer and peered into his face. “No lies. He wanted to and you turned him down, right?” “Would it please you to think that?” “Yes.” “Okay. He wanted me and I turned him down.” “Why?” “For a reason that doesn’t exist.” “Translation?” “There isn’t any translation. Come on, I’ll put you to bed.” He held out his hand. “You’ll tuck me in and sing me to sleep?” Reed reached out and grabbed his hand. He tucked it under his arm and walked him up the stairs. “You’re so gallant.” “Um, that’s me, your knight in shining armor.” Leo laughed. “You have no armor.” Reed stopped at the top of the stairs. “You’re right,” he said softly. “I don’t. I thought I did. I thought I’d built it back up, but it seems to be breaking down.” Leo reached up and traced the furrows in the brow. “What was that?” “I don’t know,” he said softly. “Nothing. The wind. Come on, Leo.” He pulled him into the room and Leo clung to him. “The room is spinning.” “I’m thinking that maybe you should change that little bit drunk to very drunk,” Reed said, as he dragged Leo’s arms from 79

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around his neck and laid him down on the bed. Leo immediately reached up and wrapped his arms around Reed’s neck again. He pulled him closer. “I want to hear your heartbeat.” “Leo,” he protested, “stop it.” Leo pressed his face against his and then moved his head down to his chest. “Let me hear it,” he urged. Reed sat on the edge of the bed as Leo pressed his head flat against Reed’s chest. He wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him tight for a minute. “Leo,” Reed began to squirm a little, “what in the hell are you doing?” “You have a good strong heartbeat.” He looked up into his eyes. “Why do I feel like it’s the end of the world?” “I have no idea. I’m missing the connection between that and my heart.” He lowered him to the pillow. “Don’t go,” Leo said, grabbing his hand. “Just stay here with me for a second, in the dark, in the silence.” “Are you sure it was only wine you were drinking?” “There is so much pain, Reed. Love is pain. It doesn’t have to be that way all the time, does it?” “I don’t know.” “How many times have you been in love?” “Oh, Leo, come on…” “No, tell me.” “Once,” he said. “But then you fell out of love. You could fall in love again if you loved him once.” “No, I can’t do that.” “Why not? He still loves you.” 80

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“He can’t love me, Leo. He’s dead.” Leo’s hand tightened on his as Reed made a move to go. “Dead?” He wrestled his hand loose and stood. He looked down at him in the dark. “The only man I ever loved died four years ago. So you see, he can’t still love me, and I can’t love him.” “What about Mark?” “I never loved Mark.” “But Mark and you were together. I thought…I believed…” “Go to sleep, Leo. Forget about it. It’s not important.” He wanted to get out of bed. He wanted to go to Reed, talk to him some more, comfort him, hold him. He dreamed about holding him as he fell to sleep. Reed.

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CHAPTER 3 When the sun rose, Leo breathed a sigh of relief. Even without the natural light, the manifestation of the face before him appeared exactly the way his mind had drawn it. He’d done it almost blind, compelled, and as he stood back now and studied it, putting the finishing touches here and there, he wasn’t sure if he should be surprised or pleased. In some way, he was just afraid. On the canvas, the black hair fell forward on his forehead just like it did in real life. Those impossible blue eyes hued with silver were unreadable as usual. And Leo realized there was a sadness there he hadn’t recognized before. Square jaw, with just a trace of stubble, and a mouth that he could still taste on his completed the image that stared back at him. It became Reed. There was no smile, just that look he often wore, a brooding cross between a 82

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smirk and a scowl that made him compellingly sexy and mysteriously infuriating. Leo smiled. He had wanted to draw his body. He would have loved it if Reed would have been sitting for him last night, gloriously naked, and lying on a blanket. He’d seen him naked coming out of the pool, but not for a long enough time to be able to paint him from memory. No, he’d stick with his profile. He played with different colors for awhile, finally sitting in the corner and just studying the painting. The only man I ever loved is dead…dead…dead. The word dead echoed in his mind. Mark had never mentioned that. And he was sure last night Reed had said quite plainly that he had never loved Mark. He heard some noise, so he got to his feet and walked over to the window. Reed stood outside talking with Adrian. Adrian said something and Reed laughed, then they took off jogging. Leo looked at the clock—a little after seven. He yawned, and considered going back to bed. He’d gotten up at four to paint, not quite sure why, or even what he wanted to paint. Now, Reed’s face looked back at him and he raised his hand to his mouth. A sudden dawning realization spread over him and he shook his head. Even if it was true, even if he was falling for Reed, it could never be. It would mean that he’d have to choose between Reed and his best friend. Besides, he thought, as he studied the painting again, Reed had no interest in him, and his own feelings for Reed were little more than fantasies. At least he hoped to hell that’s all they were. As he was about to go back to his room, he paused in front of the painting again. Should he put it somewhere, hide it? Would Mark be upset that he’d painted Reed? What about Reed himself? 83

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Maybe he wouldn’t like it either. He walked back to the window. Reed and Adrian were no longer in sight. They must have made arrangements sometime last night to go jogging together this morning. There was nothing wrong with that as long as it didn’t end with Reed fucking the shit out of him. *

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Leo slept for two hours, then returned to the attic. He stood in front of the easel. Reed’s light blue eyes stared back at him. He took the easel off its stand and brought it with him, back to his room. That day he went to work painting the inside of one of the cabins. He’d almost finished painting three rooms, but decided to wait to put on a second coat. The rooms had a lot of trim, and he had to be careful not to get paint on the wooden beams. It was almost nine P.M. by the time he came back to the house. Reed sat in the living room. A basketball game played on the large screen television and he seemed focused on that. “Where’s Mark?” Leo asked, looking around. He felt grungy and longed for a shower “He went into town with Adrian. He’s not back yet.” His eyes stayed on the screen. “Adrian?” Leo wrinkled his nose. “Yep. Adrian had tickets to a play.” “I would have thought he would have asked you to go.” “I didn’t want to go,” Reed replied. “I want to watch the game.” “Who’s winning?” 84

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“Boston.” “Is that your team?” “No. I don’t have a team. I’m not a big basketball fan. I prefer football.” Leo perched on the sofa. “So, if you prefer football, why are you watching basketball then?” “I have money on this game.” “Ah, you’re a gambler.” He laughed. “No,” he replied, “but one of my clients is. And it was a little joke between us.” “Is the team you bet on winning?” “Nope.” He glanced at him. “Are you finished painting?” “I did the first coat on one of the cabins.” “I can give you a hand tomorrow if you like.” Leo raised an eyebrow. “Really?” “Sure.” He shrugged. “That would be great. So, tell me about your job, Reed.” Leo settled onto the sofa a minute. It felt good to rest his aching joints. “Is this an interview?” “No.” He laughed. “It’s just that Mark told me you fixed the Queen’s computer. I find that pretty cool.” “I didn’t actually fix her computer. I installed a new computer system in the palace.” “So are you a computer genius?” “Is that a loaded question?” “No.” Leo grinned “Loaded how?” “If I say yes, you’ll accuse me of being arrogant. If I say no, you’ll say I’m not being honest.” “Why do you always think I’m trying to set you up?” “Experience.” 85

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“What kind of experience?” Leo smirked. “Are you flirting with me?” He sat back, meeting his gaze. Leo flushed. “No. I’m teasing you.” “Oh, okay. That’s what that is.” “So are you a computer genius?” “Some would consider me to be a genius when it comes to computers, I suppose. I just seem to be able to figure them out easily. I was like that as a boy. Computers are much less complicated than people.” “Ah. And you work when you want?” “Now I do. I’ve trained people to do the job in my place. If something is really impossible to figure out, they’ll call me.” “You like your job?” “Most days. What I really like is what my job allows me to do—meet people, travel and live the good life.” Leo pursed his lips. “I painted your portrait,” he confessed. “Oh?” Reed reacted with his usual low-key style. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be happy about that or not.” “Why, did you paint me with a big red nose?” “No.” Leo laughed. “What I really would like is to paint…well…all of you. I just did your head.” “Chicken.” “Chicken? I’m not a chicken, but I need you to sit for me, ah…naked. You wouldn’t do that, would you?” “What does it pay?” “Nothing.” For a second he didn’t comment, then he shrugged. “I’ll do it.” Leo’s eyes widened. “You’d pose for me? Nude?” “I said, yes. I’m not modest.” “Why?” Leo narrowed his eyes. 86

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“Why am I not modest?” “No. Why would you?” “Because you asked me to. I have nothing else to do.” “What will Mark say?” “I have no idea what he’ll say. Do you want to ask his permission first?” “He might not like it.” “It’s my decision. It’s my body. Just one question, what do you intend on doing with this painting after?” “I’m going to hang it on my bedroom wall,” he teased. “What do you think? It will start off my collection for a show. I want to paint beautiful men.” Leo stood. “Show, as in public show?” He stood as well, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah,” Leo replied. “What other kind of show is there? If I’m going to become known and sell my work, I need to have a show.” “Whoa, wait,” Reed said as Leo began to leave the room. “I’m not sure I want to be waving my body parts all over the place for the world to see.” “Why not?” Leo threw at him. “You do have a penis, don’t you, like any other man?” Reed scowled at him. Leo reached up and pinched his cheek. “Don’t worry, honey; I’m sure you’ll measure up.” “Very funny,” he growled. “I’ve got to wash off this paint. So, seven-thirty?” “Huh?” “Tomorrow morning, seven-thirty, after your jog and…a shower of course.” “You don’t want to draw sweaty men?” 87

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Leo shook his head and began to climb the stairs. “Seventhirty,” he called out over his shoulder, grinning. *

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Leo was excited. He had a hard time sleeping, thinking about having a live subject again to paint, not to mention it being Reed. He was trying to imagine what combination of colors he’d use for Reed’s skin tone. Seven parts white…flake white, one part yellow ochre and a heavy dose of cadmium red because Reed was tanned. He wasn’t sure if he was tanned all over but he’d decrease the cadmium as needed. The thought of having to inspect Reed all over didn’t help him to sleep. He woke well before seven, sleepy but running on adrenaline. He crept downstairs for coffee and went to look outside. He saw Reed and Adrian running along the water and smiled. It didn’t look like Reed had any trouble sleeping last night. As he sipped his coffee, he wondered why Reed had agreed to sit for him. Leo hadn’t expected him to. Maybe he was just trying to be nice, trying to ease relations between them. They’d gotten off to a rocky start. He let the curtain fall back and headed up to the attic. He had pulled on a pair of sweatpants and was in his bare feet. That’s how he liked to paint. He reminded himself to be careful where Reed was concerned, as he began to organize the colors he thought he’d need. He couldn’t let his guard down around him. Reed was no innocent. And it bothered him when he’d told him that he had never loved Mark. When the door opened, Leo looked up expectedly. Reed poked his head in. “I’ll grab a quick shower and be with you in a few 88

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minutes, okay?” “Okay, thanks. Want coffee? I can run down and get you a cup?” “Um, sounds good, yes.” He nodded. “Okay, five minutes?” “Make it ten if you want me to dry my hair.” “It’s not important.” “’Kay,” he said and closed the door. Leo wondered if he should tell Mark what they were up to. If Mark came up here and…he didn’t want to piss off Mark. He wondered if he was awake already. On the way downstairs, he heard some laughter in the kitchen. He walked in to see Adrian and Mark drinking the coffee he’d made. “Hey,” he said, looking from one man to the other. Both men looked at him and smiled. “Coffee?” Mark asked. “Yeah, ah…can you make more?” “Sure,” Mark replied. “Did you enjoy your show last night?” Leo asked them. “It was great,” Mark replied. Adrian nodded. “It was a classical concert.” “Reed doesn’t like that stuff so I went with Adrian instead.” Mark began to refill the coffeemaker. Why in hell did he bother to tell me that? “Great. Look, Mark, I just wanted to tell you that Reed has agreed to sit for me.” “Sit for you?” Adrian was looking at him as well. “Yeah. I’m going to paint him.” “Oh,” Mark said, scooping in the coffee. “Naked?” Adrian asked. What in hell do you care? “Yes, actually. I want to paint a 89

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series of men…” He looked at both of them. “Hey, maybe I could paint you guys, too. Would you sit for me?” “I’m too old for that,” Adrian smiled shyly. “You’re gorgeous.” Leo shook his head. He came closer, squeezed his arm. “You have amazing tone. You’re in shape. You’re really a handsome guy, Adrian.” He blushed a little. “Well, maybe. Okay.” “I won’t put the names of anyone. Mark, what about you?” He waited. “Come on.” He shrugged. “Sure. I’ll help you out.” Leo smiled. That took care of that. Mark felt included and wasn’t altogether focused on Reed being naked in front of him. “Can we watch?” Adrian asked suddenly. “Watch?” Leo echoed. “I mean,” his cheeks flushed, “I’d like to see…ah…you paint.” You’d love to see Reed without his pants. I wasn’t born yesterday, Adrian. “I’ll ask Reed. If he doesn’t—” “He won’t care,” Mark replied. “He’s not modest at all.” He handed Leo a cup of coffee. “Is it for the master?” Leo laughed. “Yeah.” “Okay, milk only. So you’re good to go.” “He’s already sweet enough.” Adrian grinned. “Right,” Leo muttered and took off with the coffee. When he got upstairs, Reed stood staring at the painting Leo had brought back into the art room. He wore a loose fitting T-shirt and those short nylon shorts. God, he had a great ass. “Is that how you see me?” Reed asked with his gaze still on the canvas. “Yes,” Leo replied, holding out the coffee cup, trying to keep from assessing his ass in those shorts. Damn. “It’s beautiful.” He took the coffee from him. 90

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“You’re beautiful,” Leo whispered, then realizing what he’d said, he looked away. Reed glanced at him. “Thanks for the, ah…coffee, and the compliment.” “We’re going to have company,” Leo muttered hastily, walking over to the metal table. “If you don’t want an audience, tell me and I’ll…” “Is it the Armed Forces?” “Close, it’s Mark and Adrian. I asked them to sit for me as well, after I get done with you. They agreed, but they want to examine the…ah…process, I guess.” “You’re funny.” He sipped his coffee, a grin on his face. “Why?” “Examine the process? Get real. Adrian wants to check out my cock, and Mark wants to make sure that you behave yourself.” “Guess you don’t believe in discretion, Reed.” He shook his head. “Nope, I believe in telling it like it is.” He went over and looked out the window, and then added, “most of the time.” Leo began to prepare his paint. “Why most of the time? I figure that either you believe in being candid or you don’t.” “Sometimes saying what’s on your mind is…well, it’s not appropriate, that’s all.” “Ah, so you do believe in candor.” Reed turned around and looked at him. “All right, if you say so.” He put his cup down and pulled his T-shirt up over his head. Leo cleared his throat unnecessarily, his view filled with the fluid muscles on Reed’s chest. “Did you want a…robe?” “No.” He shook his head. “What do I need a robe for? Where do you want me?” He placed a thumb in the waistband of his 91

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shorts, preparing to pull them down. “Wait.” Leo put up his hand. His throat was dry. He cleared it again. “You don’t have to take them off yet. I need to prepare a backdrop.” “Satin and lace?” He joked. Leo gave him a playful shove. “No. Hey, do you have a daybed?” “A day what?” “You know, one of those things that are a cross between a bed and a sofa?” “Ah, maybe.” “Okay, find me one of those and bring something to drape over it.” “Fur?” He made a face. Leo laughed. “Will you stop it?” “Okay, okay, I’ll go and see. I think Mark has one of those lounging chairs in—” “A table will do.” “Table?” “I want to make them erotic but not pornographic. Haven’t you ever wanted to fuck someone on a table? Never mind. Don’t answer that. See what you can find.” A few minutes later, the door opened. Adrian and Mark walked in. “Where’s our subject?” Mark asked. “He ran away already.” “He’s going to get something to lie on.” “Why not the floor?” Adrian suggested. “I’d take him on the floor.” Leo stared at him. “For someone who’s just come out of the closet, you catch on fast.” Adrian laughed. “Look, I’m convinced I’ve wasted enough 92

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time, you know?” He looked at Mark. Mark nodded. The door opened wider. Reed called to Mark to give him a hand, and they brought in a leather chaise lounge. “That’s perfect,” Leo said. “The early Egyptians had those, and so did the Romans,” Mark said. “They made no distinction between relaxing and sleeping,” Mark continued. “They ate on those, slept on those, and fucked on those.” Reed grunted and set down the chair. He looked at Leo. “Is that all right? I had to bring it up from the basement.” Leo laughed. “Yeah. Great. Now, something red. Mark, do you have a red blanket or sheet?” “I do,” Adrian said. “I have red satin sheets. Will that do?” “Adrian!” Reed mocked with a big grin. Adrian blushed. “Just in case.” Reed laughed. “You were a Boy Scout.” “Yep,” he said, winking. “I’ll be right back.” Mark looked at Leo. “This is a great idea. But you need a show.” “I can help you with that,” Reed said, sitting on the edge of the lounge chair. “Really?” “Yeah, I did a lot of computer work for a guy who is heavily involved in the arts. I’ll see what I can do when the time comes.” “I think Leo should do that on his own,” Mark said. “Why in the hell should he if I can help him?” Reed asked, narrowing his eyes. “It’s more rewarding.” 93

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“That’s horseshit,” Reed muttered. “You don’t get anywhere today without connections. Jesus, Mark.” Mark shrugged. “Play Mr. Benevolent if you want. Just be careful, Leo, about what Reed asks for in return.” Leo sucked in some breath. Reed’s light eyes sparked with anger. “You’re pushing it today, Mark.” His mouth was hard. “Relax, baby.” He put up his hands. “I’ll drop it.” Reed looked down at his hands. Mark smiled at Leo. “I’m glad you’re painting again, sweetie. Looks like you’ve found your muse.” He glanced at Reed. Reed didn’t bother to acknowledge his comment. “Would you and Adrian mind if I began painting without an audience? You guys can come in later, say a half hour?” “No problem,” Mark muttered, turning around now as Adrian walked in with the sheets still in the package. “No reason to use them unfortunately. He glanced at Reed. “Yet.” Reed stood and took the sheets. “Thanks.” “Look, Adrian, Leo prefers to be alone with Reed, at least for a bit. We’ll come back later.” “Sure,” he said. “I understand.” The two of them left the room. Mark didn’t close the door. Leo looked at Reed, who took the sheets out of the package and began to spread the flat sheet over the chair. “You didn’t have to send them away on my account,” Reed said. “I didn’t want you tense. Mark has a knack of pissing you off.” “That he does. So,” he turned around, “we ready?” No. I’m not ready to see you spread out naked on that thing. “Sure. Ah”—he turned around and went back to his easel—“take 94

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off your shorts and lay down natural, like you would if you were…” He trailed off as he looked up to see Reed lying back on the lounge chair. He’d spread his legs, one over each side and placed his hands under his head. His body was a goddamned masterpiece, one of the most beautiful he’d ever seen, and he’d painted enough of them back in art school. He looked relaxed, calm, his sex curved up over his stomach almost seductively. Oh yeah. Oh God Jesus, yes. If Reed only knew what he was doing to him at that moment? How in the hell could he paint? He couldn’t even think. Get it together, Leo. Don’t you know how much money you could get for a painting like that if you do it right? “Ah, just one thing,” he said, composing himself and walking over to where Reed lay. Reed looked up at him. “What?” “What? Yeah…ah…” Trembling fingers picked up the edge of the sheet at the bottom of the lounge. “It’s a beautiful…” His gaze moved up his leg to his cock. It was thick, and at least eight inches, and it wasn’t even fully erect, yet it was firm, with a perfectly smooth helmeted head, uncut. “The red…the color,” he managed, clutching the edge of the sheet. He bought it up between Reed’s legs and draped it over his thigh to the right. It framed his cock, even drew attention to it, completing the sensuality of his body. “Leo,” Reed said. “Yeah?” He met his gaze. “Leo?” His hand reached out suddenly. Leo took it. He caressed his knuckles. “Yeah? What?” “Are you okay?” “I didn’t eat breakfast.” “Kiss me.” One of Reed’s hands moved down over his naked 95

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chest and settled on his cock. “Touch me.” Leo stifled a moan in his chest. “Jesus, Reed,” he whispered, swallowing. Reed pulled Leo toward him gently and Leo went to his knees beside the chair. “Touch me,” Reed insisted, dragging Leo’s hand to his face. He kissed the palm and then moved Leo’s hand to his chest. Reed squeezed it in his. “You want to, don’t you?” “Yes.” He nodded. “I want to.” He’s an arrogant prick who treated Mark like shit, Leo. What the fuck…but God, he’s beautiful. What will it hurt to… Reed sat up suddenly. He swung his legs off to the side and pulled Leo between them. He leaned down and framed his face with his hands and captured his mouth with his. Leo brought his hands up and buried them in Reed’s dark, silky hair, giving himself over to the kiss as Reed jerked Leo upright, lay back down on the chair and pulled Leo on top of him. Reed’s hands moved down over Leo’s back, and then inside his sweatpants, cupping his ass, squeezing, murmuring something against Leo’s mouth that sounded obscene. Leo heard an animalistic sound coming from his own throat and he tore his mouth away from Reed’s, straddled his hips and pinned his arms down hard against the leather. He stared into those unreadable eyes of his. “What in the fuck are you doing to me?” Reed lifted his hips, a hard cock pushed against Leo’s ass. “Feel my cock,” he insisted. “I think the question might be, what in the fuck are you doing to me?” Reed didn’t struggle. In fact, he lay there in surrender, looking up at him. Leo’s chest heaved. He lowered his head. 96

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“Don’t,” Reed said. “Don’t think about it, feel. I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you what you want. Take it.” There was something in his eyes that Leo could read clearly this time—desire. And it was intoxicating, seductive, and irresistible. He couldn’t fight it anymore. His cock couldn’t fight anymore. He released the pressure on Reed’s arms and crawled off of him. Reed half sat up expectedly as Leo stripped off the sweatpants. He leaned over and pushed Reed back down. “You’re not going anywhere.” “I had no intention of it.” Leo assessed Reed’s cock. “Your cock is so hard.” “Looks like mine isn’t the only one.” He reached out for Leo’s penis and took it into his hand. His thumb caressed the tip and Leo’s entire body shuddered. “We don’t have any lube. We don’t have…” Reed took his hand and pulled him closer, sitting up. He positioned his hands on both sides of Leo’s hips and ran his tongue up his shaft. Leo dug his nails into Reed’s shoulder. “Shit.” Reed sucked the head into his mouth, running his tongue around it, then proceeded to take more of Leo’s cock into his mouth. His hands massaged the globes of Leo’s ass as he began to suck his cock in earnest, the height of the chair forcing him to stretch his neck some. One hand suddenly came off his ass and reached under to cup his balls. Leo felt his knees buckle. “I want you,” he breathed suddenly. “I want you inside me.” Reed looked up at him, his lips wet on Leo’s shaft and he backed away. 97

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“I’ve never been…” He grabbed Reed’s hair, kissed his mouth and tasted his own juices there. “I’ve never wanted a man to fuck me as much as I want you right now. Your mouth is so sweet but I don’t want to come until you’re inside me.” He pushed away from him. “I have this,” he said. It was glycerin hand cream that he put on after painting. “It’s hypo…” Reed stood. He grabbed the tube and pulled Leo in against his hard body. He kissed him again, passionately, deeply, his hands roaming his body. “It will do,” he said gruffly. “Touch me.” Leo wanted to. His hands trembled as he separated himself from Reed and lightly moved his fingers across his chest. It was a humbling experience touching him like that, and he had no idea why he was so hesitant. “Touch me.” Reed groaned. “Jesus, Leo. I won’t break.” I’m afraid to drown. He blinked. What in hell was that? Reed took Leo’s hand, placed it on his cock. “If you want me, touch me.” Leo wrapped his hand around his cock. His eyes closed. He licked his lips, went to his knees. He pressed his lips against his shaft, licked his balls, and Reed’s hand squeezed his shoulder hard as he groaned. “Yes, go on. Go on, Leo. Shit.” Leo sucked his balls into his mouth, feeling his hard cock brush his cheek. Sweet. God, so sweet, so damn beautiful, every inch of him, and he tasted like heaven. “Um…yeah…stop,” he urged. “Stop.” Leo looked up at him. Reed dropped to his knees. He pushed him back on the floor, opened the tube of cream, spread his fingers with it, and slicked his own cock with it. Leo watched him. It was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen, 98

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his cock glistening with a mix of cream and come. Reed spread Leo’s legs. He leaned over him, his dark hair in his eyes. He kissed his mouth again, then his throat as he rubbed his creamy fingertips over Leo’s hard nipples and then licked at them. Leo moved his hips up off the floor, and moaned. “You have great nipples,” he whispered. “Sensitive.” “Connected to my cock.” Leo grunted. “Here?” Reed asked, stroking his shaft. “Yeah, oh yeah.” Leo closed his eyes. A greased finger dipped up into his ass. Leo made a pleasurable sound in his throat. “Roll over on your stomach.” Leo did so willingly. One of Reed’s strong arms pulled him to his knees. “Oh, baby, you’re so hot.” He nuzzled his neck, one hand pinched his nipple, the other played with his cock slowly. “Oh God.” Leo let his head go back. The finger went back into his ass as Reed continued to play with his cock, handle his balls, and kiss his neck, nibble his earlobe. Two fingers were now up inside his ass, deeper and hooking until they found what they sought. “Goddamn it,” Leo cried out. “Shush,” Reed said softly, bringing his head around so that he could kiss his mouth. “I don’t want an audience.” The fingers continued to do their magic in his ass as come accumulated at the tip of his cock. “Baby,” he pleaded. “I don’t have a condom. I’m clean.” “Me too…just fuck me. Please, Reed, now.” “Well, since you asked me so nicely.” He growled, 99

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withdrawing his fingers and grabbing Leo’s hair. He pushed him forward on the floor. Leo was breathing hard. Goddamn it. He’d never been this excited before, this hot. Reed was exactly the right kind of wild, his hands gentle yet bold, and with just enough force to make it feel like he was really his. “I’m going to fuck your ass, Leo. I going to make you think it’s the first time. Your ass is sooooo…” The head of Reed’s big cock pressed through the first ring of muscles. “Ah,” Leo grunted. He squeezed his eyes shut. Reed was a big guy and for a big guy, he knew how to use his cock. There was no pain, a little discomfort, but he moved his body in such a way that his cock fit Leo like a glove. He went deeper, pulling Leo’s hair a bit as he did, and Leo licked his lips, balancing his palms on the floor. “Jesus God,” he whispered. “Fuck me, do it, do it.” Reed was inside of him. He seized his hips hard and pulled almost all the way out, then went in again. Within minutes, Reed was fucking his ass hard, riding him, coaxing sounds out of him he’d never heard before, and rocking his body with sensations of pleasure that made him want to scream his lungs out. But he didn’t. Instead, he bit into his bottom lip and whimpered softly, slamming his hips back against Reed’s cock with violent abandon until Reed’s warm cream filled his heated cavity and his hand stroked Leo to release. Leo lay on the floor, face first, his breathing labored, sweat in his eyes. The warmth of Reed’s body left him. He stretched out his hands and moaned with pleasure. When he lifted his head, Read was standing at the window. Leo sat up, a little dazed. He wasn’t sure what to say, or if he 100

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was supposed to say anything. He scrambled up off the floor, picked up his sweatpants, and stepped into them. Reed turned around. His hair was wet, plastered to his forehead. His eyes were unreadable again. The door opened. Both looked at Mark and Adrian as they walked in. “How’s it going?” Mark asked, his gaze zeroing in on Reed’s naked body. Adrian’s attention was riveted to the same place. Leo picked up the sheet that had slid onto the floor and walked over to Reed. He handed it to him. “Cover up. We’re finished for today.” “Let’s see it,” Mark announced, moving in the direction of the easel. “No,” Leo said, rushing over and turning the easel around. “No one sees it until it’s finished.” “So how long before you need us?” Mark asked. “Hard to say,” Leo said. “It’s a process.” Reed moved toward the door and walked out without saying a word. “Well,” Adrian said, “I should get going. My book is waiting for me. See you guys later.” Both men said goodbye. Mark was watching him closely, and Leo felt it hard to look him in the eye. Jesus. He’d let Reed fuck him. What in the hell had gotten into him? Reed was the love of Mark’s life, and he was Mark’s best friend. And what in the hell had gotten into Reed anyway? Why had he seduced him like that? “Are you okay, Leo?” Mark asked him. “I’m tired. What time is it?” 101

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“Nine-thirty.” “I have painting to do, and not the good kind.” He laughed. Mark nodded. “No hurry. Sleep a bit and then—” “No, I’ll never get it done. I’m going now.” “Take a break for lunch. I’ll make homemade soup around one?” “Okay, thanks, Mark.” *

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An hour later, he was busy putting the second coat on the cabin. The tingling in his ass reminded him of Reed. He could still feel him there. “Bastard,” he hissed, smearing paint on one of the beams. “Who’s a bastard?” a deep voice inquired. Leo looked down from the ladder to see Reed standing there. “What…what are you doing here?” “I told you I’d help you.” “It’s not necessary. It’s…” Leo was frantically trying to rub paint off the beam. Reed came over to stand beside the ladder. Having him this close made Leo nervous. Nervous? Who in hell was he trying to kid? It made him horny as hell. His cock betrayed him with a vengeance. “You need to put painter’s tape first.” “I know but it takes a long time to…” A hand settled on his calf. “Saves problems later.” The hand moved higher to his thigh and then around to the inside. “You’ll need paint remover to take that off.” Leo closed his eyes. “Reed, don’t.” 102

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“What, Reed don’t?” “I’ll fall off the ladder.” “No, you won’t,” he said, reaching up and pulling him down into his arms. Leo let out a holler. “Reed, are you nuts? What are you doing?” He pulled him closer, letting him down on the floor, capturing his mouth with his. Leo clung to him, pulling at his T-shirt. Reed undid his jeans and pulled them down. He kicked them away and then attempted to undo Leo’s pants. “Leave my pants.” Leo laughed, playfully pushing his hands away. “They’re actually my pants,” he said, pulling them down over Leo’s hips. He grabbed his legs and lifted them around his hips, tipping Leo over the sofa. Laughing, they fell together on the sofa. He put his hands in Reed’s hair, realizing that he was getting paint all over him. It didn’t matter, none of it mattered. Reed’s mouth was on his, his hands were on his cock, and on his ass and minutes later, his cock was inside him again. “Jesus God.” Leo grunted, tearing at Reed’s hair as he held him close to his body as Reed pumped into his ass furiously. Leo was almost doubled in half on the sofa, his legs in the air while Reed fucked his ass, still half standing on the floor. “God, you’re so tight.” Reed moaned. “God, what an ass, fuck Leo…fuck….” He was coming, and the look on his face made up for all the times Leo couldn’t read his expression at all. This one was a mix of strain and tension and then sheer pleasure. Leo thrashed out his orgasm on the sofa as Reed pulled out of him, clamped his mouth onto his cock and sucked him to completion. It was a pure goddamned masterpiece. 103

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Leo came on Reed’s chest and his stomach and then pulled him down onto the sofa with him, cradling him in his arms. He kissed his hair, his eyes, his mouth, ran his hands over his incredible abs, his biceps. His breathing slowed. He closed his eyes. He inhaled his scent, the sweetness of his sighs. “Reed.” He glanced at him. “Um?” “What are we doing?” “What do you mean, what are we doing?” “You belong to Mark.” He pushed away from him. “I do not fucking belong to Mark.” He got up. “I don’t belong to anyone.” He searched for his clothes and began to dress. “Mark is not going to understand.” “You know what?” He sighed. “I’m really tired of hearing about Mark, and how he’s not going to understand and how he needs…needs…fuck, what about what I need, Leo?” Leo sat up. “You could have them lining up to take care of your needs, Reed, and long after you’re on your way to God knows where, Mark will still be there for me.” “Fine. I hope you and Mark are very happy together, Leo.” He gave him a little salute and walked out of the cabin. Leo didn’t go back to the house at lunch. He had to think, to be alone. He continued to paint, trying to put what had happened into perspective. So, they’d had sex. No big deal. He continued to paint. At six o’clock he decided to call it quits for the day. He was tired and exhausted. He walked slowly back to the house to find Mark sitting alone in the kitchen, a bottle of half drunk scotch in his hand. “Hey, you all right?” “Reed is leaving tomorrow.” 104

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Leo’s mouth opened. “He’s forcing me to buy him out, or put the place up for sale.” Leo pulled up a chair. He couldn’t help but think that Reed’s leaving had something to do with him. “What do you want to do? Do you have the money?” “He’ll take payments. I can pay him over time.” “Do you want to stay here?” He nodded. “He’s not coming back. He told me. Look, why don’t you clean up? Let’s go out to eat. I don’t want to be around Reed right now. Actually, I wish he would just leave and get it over with.” Leo stood. “I’ll be right back down.” He ran upstairs, and met Reed coming out of his room. He had his suitcase with him. “Reed?” Reed put down the suitcase, his face shadowed in the semi-lit hallway. “You don’t have to leave because of me.” “Don’t flatter yourself,” he said. “Me leaving has nothing to do with you.” “Reed, considering what happened between us, I—” “Just like with the kiss, it’s forgotten.” That hurt like hell. “That was pretty insensitive,” Leo said softly. “Well,” he replied, picking up his suitcase again, “that fits in nicely with your opinion of me.” “Can’t you work it out with Mark?” “Is that what you want, Leo, for me to work it out with Mark?” His voice was slurred, sarcastic. Leo lowered his voice. “Have you been drinking?” 105

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“Yeah. I’ve been drinking. Now you can add drunk to your long list of descriptors.” Leo put a hand on his forearm. “Mark’s heart is breaking.” He jerked his arm away. “Well, there’s a club for that.” He walked by him, pausing suddenly. “And, Leo, why don’t you ask Mark to tell you the truth about him and I someday?” “I know all about that.” “No,” he said, “you don’t know all about it.” Leo watched him head to the stairs. He swallowed the pain. He wanted to call out his name. Please, Reed, don’t go. Tell me then. Tell me what I don’t know. Just don’t leave. I’m not sure how I’m going to…live without you? No, no, Leo, two fucks does not translate into love. You don’t love Reed Owens. You’re just a sucker for gorgeous men with killer eyes who fuck the shit out of you. “What about the painting?” he asked softly in the darkened hallway. He stood there for a few minutes, waiting for a reply, but there was no one there to answer him. Reed had already gone down the stairs. A car door shut outside. Leo hurried to the window at the end of the hall just in time to see the taillights moving away. Then he heard sobbing coming from the room under him and his eyes welled up with tears. Mark.

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CHAPTER 4 Mark cried himself to sleep on the sofa while Leo cradled him in his arms like a baby. The clock ticked loudly in the hallway. Leo stared at the second hand. It went round and round and so did the thoughts in his head. Why don’t you ask Mark to tell you the truth about him and I someday…I never loved Mark…maybe one day he’ll forgive me…a man died…the man I love is dead… It was all a jumble in his head. None of it made much sense. I love you, Leo. I didn’t know how to tell you I was married. I’m going to leave her. I’m just waiting to… Pierre. He got up off the sofa with a grunt, suddenly realizing he was exhausted. He covered Mark with a blanket and wearily made his 107

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way up the staircase. He paused at his room and then walked down to the end of the hall. The door to the attic stood open. He walked upstairs. The sun was coming up. He glanced at the lounge chair, which sat in the corner. The red sheet had fallen on the floor again. His entire body began to shake. He saw them there together, kissing, touching, fucking. Touch me, Leo. Touch me. The tears flowed down his face. “Rebound,” he whispered. Felix had warned him about that after he split with Pierre. “It isn’t real,” he told the chair. “No,” he said aloud again, trying to push the image of Reed laying there naked from his mind. “It’s only a fantasy.” *

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Mark crawled into his bed and stayed there, sleeping most of the day away. He needed escape, not to think about what had happened. When a knock came on the door, he groaned. “Leave me alone, Leo.” Leo opened the door. “You need to eat.” “I’m not hungry.” Food was the last thing he wanted. “I’m not going to let you do this, Mark.” He came over and sat on the bed beside him. “It’s really over this time.” He struggled up to his elbows. “He’s not coming back. He means it.” The words choked him. Leo rubbed his shoulder. “Maybe it’s not the best time to ask you this, but I really need to know. It’s driving me out of his mind.” Mark hunkered back down into the pillow and pulled the 108

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blanket up over his head. That didn’t sound good. “Listen to me.” Leo pulled the blanket down and forced him to turn on his back. “Reed said some things before he left. If I’m going help you get through this, I need to know…” “What did he say?” Mark swallowed hard. “He talked about a man being dead. He said…I’m sorry, Mark.” Leo winced. “Reed told me that he never loved you.” Tears rolled down his face. “I’m sorry. That must be hard for you to hear after thinking that he did love you. He lied to you. He never—” “He didn’t lie to me,” Mark interjected. There was no need in pretending anymore. “Reed never loved me, and I’ve always known that. I’m the one who deceived him.” Leo narrowed his eyes. “I don’t understand.” Mark sighed deeply as he sat up in the bed. “It all started that year my family brought me here on vacation, the first time I ever set eyes on Reed.” As he talked, it was like it happened yesterday, and as he took Leo back, he went back there himself. *

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Spring, 2005 Leo was pissed at him. They were supposed to spend spring break together, but Leo needed to work, and Mark was bored with hanging around on campus. There were no good-looking guys there. And Mark was looking for adventure. When his parents told him they were taking a holiday to Florida, he didn’t pay too much attention. Who in the hell wanted 109

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to spend March break with their parents? But then one night, he was in a gay bar, and he mentioned the name of the resort his parents were going to the bartender. The bartender told him the place was well-known for catering to gay men and that many hot guys went there to party. His parents were shocked when he informed them he’d changed his mind and wanted to go with them on holiday. He gave them a whole speech about needing to spend time with his family, and he gave the same speech to Leo. The irony was that, at that time, his parents didn’t know he was gay, and they didn’t know about the reputation of this resort either. It was perfect. If he could have taken Leo with him, he would have, but Leo couldn’t get time away from his job. And, truly, he was already miles ahead of Leo when it came to sexual experiences, and figured Leo would be a bit of a drag. Leo had had a few boyfriends and sex maybe five or six times, but Mark had snuck into gay bars at fourteen and experienced some hard core sex. He was addicted to the physical pleasure, and to beautiful men. The cabin was mediocre, but the guests were sensational. He’d already staked out several prospects in the first few hours, and agreed to meet three muscle bound hunks that night after midnight. All he had on his mind was cock. His parents had no idea the men around them were gay. They lived in another universe, and that universe was terminally straight. The first time he saw Reed Owens, he was coming out of the water, sun on his skin, in his hair, and Mark’s heart almost stopped. Every guy within viewing distance ogled him with their tongues hanging out, and Mark knew he had to have him. 110

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The hunk, who turned out to be the son of the resort owners, seemed oblivious to the fact that men gawked at him. Maybe he was straight, but Mark didn’t care. If he was, he’d find a way to change that. As Reed dried off with a towel, Leo made a beeline for him, heading off another guy with the same intention. “Hello, I’m Mark. I’m the love of your life.” The hunk looked up at him, removing the towel from his face. “I doubt that,” he murmured. This guy was older by a few years, perhaps twenty-two or twenty-three, just the way Mark liked them. “Believe me”—Mark smiled—“I’ll show you. You ever been fucked?” He never blinked an eye—he just laughed at him. “What? I’m serious.” “You’re way out of line,” the hunk shot back at him, picking up his things and walking in the direction of the house. Mark chased after him. “You have a great ass.” He turned and looked at him. “Yeah? Well I’m going to kick yours if you don’t fuck off.” Mark’s balloon deflated. The man of his dreams disappeared inside the house. The other guy who’d made a beeline for him at the same time as Mark came up beside him. “Got it bad for him, eh?” Mark glanced at him. “He’s hot. Is he into guys? Maybe he’s straight.” “He can take your ass for a ride that you wouldn’t ever forget.” “Oh yeah?” Mark smiled. “He likes to play hard to get though.” “He’s tired of being hit on maybe. He gets it all the time.” “Why does he come here then?” 111

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“He lives here,” the guy told him. “His name is Owens, Reed Owens. He’s home from university. I come here at this time every year because I know he’ll be here.” “What, just to admire him from a distance?” “No, to get fucked by him.” Now Mark was excited. “You’ve been with him? Are you shitting me?” “Nope,” he said, grinning. “I’m not shitting you.” Mark walked away, smiling. For the next week, he was going to make getting into Reed Owens’s pants his only mission. Mark quickly discovered that if he wanted to be close to Reed, he was going to have to get in with the gang of guys Reed hung with. This turned out to be two men Reed had been at university with, and the one who’d bragged about being with Reed that first day on the beach. His name was Keith. Mark tried various ploys to get Reed’s attention. Reed didn’t really pay him much attention, but he was polite when Mark spoke to him. And then Mark made a point of joining them around the campfire after dark. For two nights, he sat there, drinking and smoking pot, having only moments of communication with Reed, but it was better than nothing. If Reed was getting it on with those three guys, he was doing it elsewhere because Mark always ended up passing out by the fire and waking up alone. However, one night something happened that would change his life forever. That night, he found Reed sitting on the other end of the beach by himself. Mark boldly sat beside him. It was now or never. They talked, really talked, and Reed told him that he was tired of partying with “those idiots.” “All they ever think about is cock,” he said. “They’ve got 112

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nothing interesting to say. And they’re pretty vanilla when it comes to sex.” Mark didn’t dare make a move. He didn’t want to fall into the same category as the others. They ended up falling asleep on the beach, and when Mark opened his eyes Reed was lying so close to him, he couldn’t resist. He undid Reed’s pants and started to suck his cock. When Reed woke up he was hard and horny, and more than a little pissed off at him. But his cock ruled and Reed fucked him down there on the beach. Mark was in love. He couldn’t wait to tell Leo. He penned him off a letter right away, knowing he’d get it after Mark was home. But it didn’t matter, he was bursting with it. Later that night when he saw Reed, Reed acted like nothing had happened between them. When Mark confronted him, confessing that he was crazy about him, Reed looked surprised. “Mark, it was just sex,” he told him. Mark felt Reed’s attitude was callous and cold, but after he’d had time to mull it over, he convinced himself that Read didn’t really mean it. He was determined to have him again. Every chance he had to get Reed alone, he increased his efforts to seduce him, and he succeeded the night before he left to go home with his family. The sex was rough trade all the way, exciting, mind blowing. He told Reed that he loved him. Reed told him he was “out of his mind.” When Mark got home, he told his father that he wanted to work at that resort in Florida in the summer. His father was pleased that Mark wanted to work in the summer, and immediately called Mr. Owens, who was pleased to help out. He told Mark’s father that Reed would soon be running the 113

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place, and that he was intending to give it up. Mark’s father immediately wired Mr. Owens some money. Mark not only would work at the resort in the summer, he would have a financial interest in it. Reed was livid when he found out what Mark had done, and the same day Mark arrived at the resort, Reed packed his bags and left. He came back off and on, but never stayed long, leaving Mark to run the place on his own. When Mark surprised Reed by moving into the master bedroom, Reed moved into the room down the hall, even putting a lock on it. Several times, Reed had tried to buy him out, but Mark would have none of it. Having a stake in the place was the only way to hang onto Reed, and both of them knew it. And when Reed threatened to never come back again if Mark didn’t leave, Mark threatened to kill himself. Three times, he made feeble attempts at suicide, which brought a frantic Reed running back to him. All the while he wrote letters to Leo, telling him about the torrid love affair he was having with Reed, and how Reed mistreated him and cheated on him. Then, suddenly, the world caved in. Reed came home but with another man; a man he said was the love of his life. Clifford was a simple man, calm, spiritual, and ruggedly handsome. He was polite to Mark, even when Mark made it clear how he felt about him being there. “I told Clifford everything,” Reed informed Mark. “There are no secrets between us.” “Did you tell him how you fucked me and deserted me?” “Mark, that was a long time ago, and I made it clear. It was twice. Jesus Christ, am I to pay for it the rest of my life? It wasn’t 114

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love. Why do you keep hanging on to this fantasy?” “Why did you bring him here?” Mark demanded tearfully one night. “To make you realize,” Reed had said, placing a hand on his shoulder. His voice had been gentle. “There is nothing between us. There has never been anything between us. I love him. I want to be with him, be his lover. Accept it. Move on. Find someone who will love you, Mark.” “Never! I’ll never let him have you,” he’d screamed at Reed, driving him out of the room. *

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Tears ran down Leo’s face. Mark looked at him, as if he’d just woken up from some kind of a trance. He’d told him all of this without a single tear, without much emotion at all really, as if he’d been recalling a dream. He’d seemed so far away when he spoke, recalling it like some sort of movie of the week. Leo shuddered. “God, Mark,” he whispered, his eyes wide, “you didn’t kill Reed’s lover, did you?” “Yes, I did, but not in the way you think.” Leo swallowed, frightened suddenly. “What do you mean?” “That night, I was so angry. I watched them together from the upstairs window. They were in the garden outside, heads together. The way Clifford touched him, looked at him. I wanted to kill somebody. I wanted to walk out there and pull Clifford away from Reed, and pound his face into the ground. I didn’t want Cliff touching him. I couldn’t sleep at night thinking of Reed fucking him down the hall. You have to understand, Leo,” he pleaded, “I was desperate, depressed, suffering from lack of sleep. So when 115

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Reed went jogging one morning, and Clifford came down for breakfast, I told him that Reed had been lying to him, that we were still lovers, and had been all the time. I cried, I carried on, and he bought it. He bought every word. Jesus Christ, I’ll never forget the look on his face. It’s as if I had ripped out his heart with my hand. He was devastated.” Mark was sobbing now, his words coming in gulps. “He took off…in Reed’s car…like a bat out of hell, tires spinning. He passed Reed coming back from his jog. Reed ran into the house and demanded to know what had happened. I said that Clifford had started screaming at me for no reason, that he was jealous of me, had accused me of all kinds of things, and he wanted me to leave. I made up some story to make myself look like the victim. Reed didn’t believe me, of course. He knew I’d said something.” “He had…” Leo could hardly get the words out. “He had a car accident?” Mark nodded. “He went to the bar, got wasted, and was on his way back here. Maybe he wanted to confront Reed, or maybe he’d decided I had lied to him. We’ll never know because he never made it. His car went off the road about two miles from here.” Leo tasted the tears in his mouth. “After that,” Mark sighed, “Reed went into a deep depression. He stayed here, and I did my best to comfort him. If he blamed me, he didn’t show it. I believe he really didn’t have the strength to be angry. He was so…” Mark whimpered. “Oh, God, he was so sad. I’d never seen him that way. I could hardly stand it. I would have given my life to see the old Reed, even to bring Cliff back to life if I had to. Eventually, Reed made his way into my bed. It was inevitable. He needed me. I was so happy, Leo. I didn’t think about what I’d done. I had his body, and I made believe that he loved me, 116

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that I had his heart, too. But I never had his love. It might have stayed that way, Reed lost in misery, sleeping in my arms every night if,” he drew a painful breath, “well, Clifford’s brother showed up out of blue about a month after the accident.” “His brother came here?” “Yes. He was so angry at Reed. He let into him something terrible, telling him that he was responsible for Clifford’s death. Reed just stood there taking it. I couldn’t stand it and I came out into the living room where they were. Cliff’s brother saw me and he went mad. He said he couldn’t believe, after what Clifford had told him that night, that I would still be here with Reed.” “Oh, God,” Leo said, wiping his tears. Mark nodded. His eyes were red. “You’ve already guessed it. Clifford had called his brother that night from the bar. He told him everything I’d said. Reed listened quietly as Cliff’s brother recounted it all. Reed didn’t say a word. Clifford’s brother called Reed a couple of choice names and then, thankfully, left. I got on my knees. I pleaded and begged, but it was over. And I knew it would never be the same again. I was responsible for Cliff’s death. I was the reason Cliff had taken his car that night and driven it off the road. Reed told me he hated me.” Leo stood. How could he comfort him? “Everything you told me about you and Reed has been a lie! There never was a you and Reed. You made it up in your head. You came out here and seduced him, and then refused to let him go. And all this time, you’ve held him hostage. How have you managed to do it, Mark? What kept him here so long?” “Leo, you need to understand. I loved him. I love him so much that my…” Leo shook his head. “But he doesn’t love you, Mark. He wasn’t 117

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lying when he told me that. He’s never been in love with you.” “Why are you taking his side? You’re supposed to be my friend, Leo, not his.” God, God, God, what if Reed had really cared? What if those two times they’d been together had been more than Reed just getting off? Everything he’d thought about him wasn’t true, none of it. And maybe he’d left because of him, because… Oh, Reed, damn it, I think I love you. He looked at Mark, trying to find compassion for him. It was tough, really tough right now, and he knew Mark didn’t understand. The last thing he could do was tell him. That would be too cruel. “You said that you had attempted suicide?” “Yes, but I never intended to follow through, really do it.” Leo walked over and picked up his arm. “I noticed the faint scar a while back. I didn’t think much of it. This looks pretty serious.” “It was that time. I cut too deeply.” Leo dropped his wrist. “Mark. What in hell happened to you? You know, I knew about the rough sex you were into when we were in high school. I knew that you were more… Well, I was innocent compared to you. But I loved you. Did you know that?” “I didn’t want a relationship. I was looking for excitement, variety. Reed was a surprise. Here I was, Mr. Cool, Mr. I Want To Be Free And Fuck A Million Guys, and then I saw him and… Leo, I would have been with only him all my life. How in hell could I fall for someone who doesn’t want me?” He put his face in his hands. “It happens,” he managed, reaching out to touch him then changing his mind. Reed. Reed. What if I never see you again? What if there could have been…no, it was crazy. It was sex, that’s 118

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all, great sex, but just sex. There was no point dwelling on it. “Mark, I need to be alone. Do you mind?” “You’re not leaving me, are you?” Mark picked up his face and looked at him. “Please, Leo. Your sister can come and… I don’t want to be alone. Please, Reed is not coming back this time. He made it clear to me. He doesn’t give a damn about this place. He never has.” Leo nodded. “I’ll stay for a while,” he said and slowly left his room. He walked upstairs to the art room. The lounge chair sat in the corner, the red sheet that belonged to Adrian was laying on it in a heap. Leo went to his canvas. He stared at the emptiness and then picked up a paintbrush and started to paint.

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CHAPTER 5 Mark finally crawled out of bed at six o’clock the following evening. He couldn’t believe it. He’d taken two Seroquel that the doctor had prescribed for depression and they had knocked him right out. He felt like shit. He hoped he’d made the right choice telling Leo the truth. He wasn’t sure if he had a best friend anymore. He expected Leo to be compassionate, to understand and forgive him, but Leo didn’t react the way he thought he would. He looked traumatized, distraught, and it really didn’t make much sense. He called out his name as he came out of the room, and went downstairs looking for him. Leo was nowhere, but then getting an idea, Mark climbed the stairs to the attic and opened the door to the painting room. 120

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Leo lay curled up on the lounge chair, the red sheet pulled around him. Mark leaned on the door and faintly smiled. He looked really cute sleeping there, his fair hair tousled. Leo was a great looking guy, and he had a good heart. Mark had hated it when he found out how Pierre had treated him. He wished it had been Leo he’d fallen for. Damn. It would have been so easy. But he was afraid their time had passed. Leo had been in love with him once, back in school, but not anymore. And his own feelings for Leo were more brotherly than anything. He walked over to the easel to see if he’d done any painting. When he turned it around, his eyes widened. “Reed,” he said. The painting wasn’t finished but Leo had done the outline and most of the face. He’d captured him perfectly. Mark’s heart ached to see that expression on his face he always wore, and his eyes, those beautiful eyes, were filled with something…desire maybe…need? “Do you like it?” Leo asked sleepily. “Yeah, finish it,” Mark told him. “Please.” Leo nodded. “Do you hate me?” “Why would I hate you?” “Now that you know what I’m capable of.” “Mark,” Leo said, rising from the chair. “It’s what you’ve done to yourself that bothers me the most.” Mark walked over and wrapped his arms around him. He held him, kissed the top of his head. “I keep telling myself this is for the best, that now maybe I can heal, knowing for sure he’s not coming back. I wish I could convince myself of that.” “I’ll help you,” he said, rubbing his back for a minute, then stepping away. 121

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“We have only one month before the guests start to arrive.” Mark wiped the tear off his cheek. He gave Leo a robust smile. “We’re booked solid. You’ll help me run the place this summer? I’ll pay you well and…” Leo nodded. “Okay. But after this summer, Mark, I’ve got to get my life together. I want to go to New York, try to sell my work.” “I understand. Okay. God, I’ve got to shower. I reek. And I’m starved.” “Can we get out of here for awhile, eat somewhere?” “Yeah, we’ll go to town.” *

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Leo walked over to the window and looked out. The sun dipped low, and the sky was inked with oranges and purples. He wondered what the sky looked like where Reed was. Was he looking at it now, or staring into someone’s eyes? “Pathetic,” he whispered, going over to look at what he’d painted. Both he and Mark in love with the same man, a man who didn’t love either one of them; that was pathetic. He picked up the painting and turned it around so he didn’t have to see it. He walked down the steps to his room, hunting for his clothes. He couldn’t turn his back on his best friend for a man who’d just walked away from him. And he really didn’t have anywhere to go. He couldn’t bear the thought of going home, and he had little money anyway. He’d stay because Mark really needed him to. Maybe he could help Mark to put Reed Owens behind him for good. 122

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*

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Mark received the letter from Reed’s lawyer a day after Leo’s sister arrived. He folded it and tucked it inside his pants pocket, trying not to let Leo see how distraught he was. But he hadn’t been fast enough, and as soon as Leo’s sister went down to sit beside the water, Leo asked him what was in the letter. “Is it from Reed?” “Kind of, the next best thing.” He took it out of his pants. “It’s from his lawyer. God, I didn’t need this now, not with the first wave of guests coming in this weekend.” “What does it say?” Mark handed it to him. Leo took a moment to read it. “Sounds reasonable. If you want to buy him out, you can do it by paying a lump sum or in payments. Or he’ll put the place for sale and you’ll get your share.” He looked at him. “Why don’t you sell it, Mark? This place just reminds you of Reed.” “What if he comes back?” “He’s not coming back, Mark. He told you that.” “But as long as I…” “…hold on to this place, you hold onto hope. It’s over. Sell it. Come with me to New York in the fall. Please, Mark.” He nodded suddenly. “Okay.” “Okay? Really?” Leo hugged him. “Perfect. Now where did that brat sister of mine get to?” “I want to tell him personally though. I’m going to phone him.” “You have his number?” “Of course I do. I have to have his cell in case something happens here. He still owns most of the place.” 123

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*

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Leo watched Mark pick up the phone with baited breath. It had been almost a month since Reed had left and he ached with missing him every night. He told himself it would get better as time passed. Mark knew nothing about what he was feeling and it was going to stay that way. Mark was listening, waiting for someone to answer. He looked at Leo. “It’s ringing. Ah, the message machine. Oh well. Hey, Reed, it’s Mark. Look, I’m not calling to harass you. I need to talk to you. I got the letter and I’ve made a decision. I’d like to talk it over with you. Can you call me please? Thanks. Bye.” He hung up. “I have no idea where he is. He might be in Europe or Asia for all I know. “ Leo nodded and headed outside. He swallowed it, all of it, his emptiness. Goddamn you, Reed. I’ll stop dreaming about you. I’ll stop seeing you everywhere… and dreaming about you…your cock inside of me. It would be good when he left this place, good for both of them. *

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Adrian came over that night and after Leo’s little sister went to bed they all sat around on the back porch talking. Mark had opened some wine, and after a few hours, none of them were feeling much pain. Mark grew bold with his questions and he was playing a little game of truth or dare…asking questions like who was the best fuck you’ve ever had…who would you fuck over and over again…ever had your cock sucked in a public place… 124

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When Mark challenged Adrian to come over to the lawn swing and suck his cock, Leo wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He was horny as hell from all the sex talk, and the wine, but maybe Mark and Adrian wanted to be alone. It would be good for Mark to fall for someone else, or at least to have an affair. When he heard the phone ringing inside the house, he jumped up and went to answer it. Mark didn’t hear it. He was teasing Adrian in a bravado voice and running his hand up and down his own zipper. Adrian stood in front of him, teasing back. Leo heard a burst of laughter coming from outside as he dashed into the living room and picked up the phone. Not for a moment did he think it might be Reed. But when he heard that smooth deep voice say hello, he clutched the phone and closed his eyes. “Reed?” he said. “It’s Leo.” There was silence for a moment on the other end. “Reed?” “Yeah,” he said. “I’m here. Is Mark there?” “He’s outside.” “He called me, left a message, said he needed to speak to me. Is something wrong?” “It’s about the letter from the lawyer. He’s made a decision and—” “I think that’s something he better tell me himself, don’t you?” Leo knew that made sense but he was suddenly quite desperate to keep him on the line. “Where are you?” “I’m in Rome.” “Oh, wow. Are you fixing some computers for the Roman emperor?” he tried to joke but it came off lame. “No, I’m having a little vacation.” 125

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“Oh. I bet there are a lot of hot guys there.” No answer. “Reed?” “What is it, Leo?” He sounded impatient. “What happened between us—and don’t say you don’t remember, well…me—I can’t forget it.” “Don’t do this, Leo.” “Don’t do what, tell you the truth? What did you do to me? Don’t say it was just a fuck. I’ve tried that already. Reed, Jesus Christ, will you say something?” “Is Mark there or not?” “Adrian is giving him a blow job, and I’m next in line,” he growled and slammed the phone down. “Damn you, Owens!” The phone rang again a few minutes later. Leo sighed and picked it up. “What now?” He heard laughter. “Oh, you think this is funny?” “I usually don’t bother answering the phone when some guy has my cock in his mouth.” Leo smiled. “Very cute. I’ll go get Mark. Hold on.” When he went back out on the porch, Mark and Adrian were gone. “Shit.” He walked back into the house and picked up the phone again. “You still there?” “I am.” “He’s not outside anymore. He and Adrian took off somewhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if they went to Adrian’s cabin. They were both pretty drunk.” “You sound drunk, too.” “I’m a little…well…yeah. I guess so. I’ll tell him you called.” “Just tell me what he wanted then. Is he going to buy me out, or 126

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not?” “He wants to sell. I’ve talked him into going to New York with me once the busy season is over.” “Good.” “Anyway, I’m anxious that he start over, find someone who will love him.” “I want that, too.” “How can you?” “How can I what?” “After everything? He told me about Clifford. I’m sorry, Reed.” “Yeah. I’m sorry, too.” “To lose the love of your life and…” “He wasn’t.” “He wasn’t what?” “He wasn’t the love of my life.” “But you said—” “I know what I said. Recently, I’ve come to know differently. And if Clifford had really loved me, he wouldn’t have believed Mark. He would have come to me, talked to me. He’d be alive right now.” Leo fell silent. Love meant trust. He hadn’t trusted Reed either. He’d believed everything…all the lies Mark had told him. “I’m guilty of that, too…believing the worst.” “Yes, you are. But you know it doesn’t matter anymore.” Silence “By the way, I’m coming back next week.” Leo’s heart leaped. “Coming back here? You are? I thought you said that—” “Yes, I did say that, but if Mark is going to agree to sell the 127

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place, we need to fix it up some. And I’ll have to get a real estate agent, have the place appraised. We want to get the best price we can get, especially for Mark, since he’s going to need the money to start over.” “Yes,” Leo tried not to sound too happy. But damn, he was on top of the world suddenly. Reed was coming back. “I’ll tell Mark. You want him to call you back?” “No. It’s okay. How are we doing? Are we full up?” “As of next week we will be.” “Good, that will go well for the sale.” “I’ll help you anyway I can…you know, to do repairs and such.” “Good,” he said. “I’ll pay you for that.” “No, it’s—” “Goodnight, Leo. You better get back in that line. I’m sure Adrian is waiting for you,” he said. The line went dead. *

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Mark was humming in the morning when Leo came down. He hated to mention that Reed had called last night. He wanted him to focus on Adrian. “Have fun last night?” he teased, popping a piece of bacon into his mouth. Mark hadn’t slept in his bed. “Not bad,” he said, grinning. “And you?” “No,” Leo said with a grin, “unless you count my hand.” Mark cooed at him, “Poor baby.” “We got people coming in today?” Leo poured some coffee. “Yep, they’ve already arrived and Meg got them all settled in. She’s great.” “That was nice of her. What in heck was she doing out of bed 128

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so early?” “One of the guys who showed up is hot. He’s nineteen and here with his parents. They’ve been chatting it up down by the lake for the last hour.” “Ah, that would account for it.” He sipped his coffee, grinning. “Mark?” “Um.” He was beating some eggs in bowl. “Reed is coming home.” He looked up, his mouth opening. “He is? When? What did he say? You spoke to him?” He put down the bowl. “He’s had a change of heart…he—” “I told him you were selling and he’s coming back to help you get the place in shape. He wants to hire an agent.” “Ah.” He picked up the bowl again and poured the egg into the pan on the stove. “I hope you’re not pissed at me for telling him. You were ah…indisposed.” “Did you tell him that, too? I hope you rubbed it in his face.” “I did.” He didn’t add that Reed didn’t appear to care. “When’s he coming home?” “I don’t know. Soon, I suspect. He was in Rome.” “He likes Italy.” “I’ll put Meg in with me. Can we move a twin bed into my room?” “Oh right, Meg’s been sleeping in the monk’s quarters.” Leo smirked. He was hard pressed to think of Reed as a monk. “Yeah.” “Leave her there. We’ll deal with it when Father Reed comes home. Now, you want eggs?” 129

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*

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Adrian was sweet as sugar candy, but he wasn’t Reed. He was good enough in bed, though not nearly as adventurous as Mark was used to. Mark had showed him a few tricks over the course of the last few nights, and that had been pleasant enough. The cabins were almost filled to capacity now, and the place was hopping. Mark was in a pretty good mood until Adrian suddenly announced to Mark that he was leaving. “Why?” Mark asked from where he was lying on the bed in Adrian’s cabin. “It’s not quiet here anymore.” He came out of the bathroom with a grin on his face. “And you’re too much of a distraction. I can’t get any writing done.” “Really?” Mark lay back and stretched out on the bed. “Show me.” Adrian groaned and tossed away the towel he had hitched around his hips. He crawled on top of Adrian and kissed his mouth hard. Mark pulled him down on top of him and returned the kiss, running his hands over Adrian’s naked back and fine ass. Adrian rolled off him and onto his side. “You’ve been distracted as well.” “Yeah, by you.” He laughed. “No, not by me,” Adrian shook his head, letting his finger trail over Mark’s bottom lip. “Well, it has been busy here and—” “And,” he paused, meeting his eyes, “Reed is coming home.” Mark shrugged and sat up. “Just to fix up the place since we’re selling it.” 130

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Adrian rubbed Mark’s back a minute. “Do you want to go with Leo to New York?” He sighed. “Sure.” “Mark,” Adrian said, turning his face around to look at him, “what you really want is Reed…in your bed.” “You don’t know what I want,” Mark snapped. “We hardly know each other.” He got out of bed and picked his pants off the floor. “Now, you’re angry.” Mark glanced at him while he stepped into his pants. “I’m not, really. I’m sorry.” Adrian wrapped his arms around his knees. “If I thought you could ever get that guy out of your system, I’d…” he trailed off. “You’d what?” Mark met his gaze. “It doesn’t matter because it’s always going to be Reed.” “When are you leaving?” “I’ll stay the week, leave next Sunday.” Mark looked down at the floor. Damn. “That’s it then?” “What else can there be?” Mark nodded and slipped on his sandals. He picked up his shirt. “I’ve got things to do. See you later,” he said and left the cabin. *

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Leo found Mark in the laundry room washing sheets. “Got any clothes to wash?” “Yeah,” Leo said, “tons. Wow, there are a lot of sheets there.” “Well, the last three guests requested linen service rather than do it themselves at the laundry hut. Cabin 5 and Cabin 9 paid to 131

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have their sheets done each day. Those guys are fucking like bunnies, and then some. Sheets are filled with the evidence.” Leo smirked. “Oh, the newlyweds from Canada?” “Yeah, two cousins married two cousins.” Mark laughed. “Gives a new meaning to the term, kissing cousins,” Leo joked. “I’ll give you hand.” “You can take those to the laundry hut if you like,” Mark said. “I’ll find the key for you.” He searched his pockets. “Here it is. And bring me your clothes and I’ll throw them in next load.” “It’s okay, I’ll do them,” Leo said. “Adrian is leaving.” “Oh?” Mark nodded. “In four days.” “Are you all right with that?” “No choice I guess.” “I thought you two… Well, you seemed to be cooking.” “Yeah we were. He says I’m still hung up on Reed.” “Are you?” Leo already knew the answer, and he suspected Mark already knew he did, so he didn’t bother to answer. Leo left the bag of sheets by the front door and ran up to his room to get his own clothes. As he went to retrieve a dirty sock under the bed, he caught sight of something silver. He reached under and pulled out his cell phone. Shit. He’d forgotten all about it. He went to turn it on. It was dead, and he hadn’t added any money to it for ages. He searched his suitcase, found his charger and plugged it in. He’d have to put some money on it one day, but for now at least he could check his messages. He’d made a lot of art contacts in Paris. Maybe someone important had called him. He laughed as he dragged the bags of dirty clothes outside. Fat chance, Waters. 132

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On the way to the laundry hut, he met the two newly married couples. They walked two by two, holding hands, dressed in bathing trunks, fresh from swimming. They all said hello to him almost at the same time. “Hello,” he sang back at them. God, they looked disgustingly happy. It was no wonder, with all the sheet changing that was going on. Leo got to the cabin and unlocked the door, dragging in the bags as he went. He sorted the laundry and filled three machines. The soap was low but he managed to scrape out enough. He’d have to get some more from the store room He came back outside and sat on a bench, looking around to see where Meggy had gotten to. His sister was officially boy crazy, not too different from the way he’d been at her age really, but it was strange to hear the stuff that came out of her mouth. A rowboat was coming closer to the shore now and he watched as Adrian pulled the boat up to the dock and tied it up. He waved at Leo before heading to his cabin. It was shame Mark couldn’t let go of Reed. Adrian was a really nice guy, handsome, successful. He hoped Mark didn’t come to regret letting him go. He practically fell asleep while he waited, the summer breeze turning cooler as the sun began to sink in the sky. Reed. He opened his eyes to see his sister standing there. She’d really filled out, and was so tall, all legs like their dad. Meggy was almost the same height as he was. “How’d you get so tall?” He blinked up at her. “I’m taller than you.” He laughed. “Probably. You’re five-ten?” “Yeah.” 133

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“Well, I think I’m five-ten and a half.” He stuck his tongue out at her. She laughed. “I put the clothes in the dryer for you.” “Thanks, sweetie.” She sat beside him. “Mark says a hottie arrived today.” She shrugged. “He’s okay, but immature.” “Mark says he’s nineteen.” “Still immature. I want a real man.” He laughed. “Those gay guys are hot…wow, but they’re all into each other. They don’t even see me.” “They just got married. They’re distracted.” She rolled her eyes. “Marriage is nothing but a life of servitude and slavery. Why would gay men want to get married anyway?” “We only want the same rights as everyone else.” He ruffled her hair. “Anyway, somehow I think servitude and slavery suits them just fine for now.” “Kinky.” She grinned. Suddenly they were both distracted by a car driving up the road. The top was down and as it got closer, Leo could see the driver in the silver sports car. “Reed,” he said aloud. “Uncle Mark’s ex?” Meggy inquired as the car pulled to a stop in the yard. Reed turned off the engine and got out. “Yeah,” Leo muttered, feeling the butterflies floating around in his stomach. “Oh, my God,” she groaned, “look at the body on him. He’s hot.” “Um,” Leo managed, “he’s that all right.” 134

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“You didn’t tell me Mark’s ex looked like that. Let’s go meet him.” “Stop calling him Mark’s ex,” Leo snapped, his gaze on Reed as he walked around the car and took his bag out of the trunk. His sister raised an eyebrow. “Something you’re not telling me about the hunk?” He didn’t answer. He walked toward the car, and was standing just a few feet away when Reed turned around. Reed had on those dark sunglasses, and his hair looked windblown. He was dressed casually in faded jeans and a mocha colored sweatshirt with a hood. God, he could wear those jeans. “Hello, Leo.” He smiled. “Hey, Reed.” Leo swallowed hard. “Got another new car?” “Loaner.” Meggy elbowed Leo. “Oh, this is my little sister Meggy.” “Megan,” she corrected and held her hand out to Reed. He smiled at her from behind the sunglasses, took her hand and kissed it briefly. “All grown up, eh?” Leo watched his sister blush. Reed could turn on the charm, no matter the sex. “Is there a cabin free?” Reed asked him. “Ah, yeah but…it’s the one we didn’t rent due to the repairs that need to be—” “I’ll take that one,” he told him. “Number three?” Leo nodded, confused. “Yes, but you can have your old room. My sister can…” “No, it’s okay. I want the serenity.” “I’ll go and unlock it for you,” Leo offered. Reed fumbled in his pocket. “I’ve got the passkey. Nice 135

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meeting you, Megan.” He nodded at her. Megan’s eyes lingered on Reed as he walked off in the direction of Cabin 3. “What a great ass on him.” She sighed heavily. “I could just bite it.” “Megan!” “What? Well, it’s true. It’s damn near perfect. You should know that, Leo, you’re queer.” “I’m gay.” “Excuse me,” she mocked. “You know I’m homophobia free. I just meant you gay guys are ass freaks. You know your asses, so come on, tell me, brother dear—is his ass perfect or what?” He smiled faintly. “Yeah, it is, perfect.” And that’s not all that’s perfect. An image of his gorgeous, highly satisfying cock also came to mind. “And he’s at least eight inches hard, if there’s a God.” She moaned. Leo laughed out loud and took her in a headlock. “Okay, what alien took my baby sister?” She was laughing when Mark came outside. He looked at the car then at Leo. “Reed?” “Rented.” “Where is super slut?” “Is he?” Meggy asked, pushing Leo off of her. “Is he a super slut?” “Mark,” Leo muttered. “Don’t give her ideas. She’s already half gone.” “Not half, all gone, but I know he’s strictly into men, isn’t he?” She looked at Mark. “Last I heard,” Mark said, “but then again, I think he may have taken his vows. He is now known as Father Reed.” 136

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Leo shook his head and laughed. “So, why didn’t he come into the house?” Mark asked, scanning for Reed. “He wants…serenity,” Leo answered. “He’s in Cabin 3.” Mark sighed. “The shower doesn’t work in Cabin 3.” “I think he knows.” “I’ll go and see if he needs anything,” Meggy offered. “Never mind,” Leo scowled at her, grabbing her arm. “Anyway, no need,” Mark said, checking out the interior of the car, “here he comes.” “Hello, Mark,” Reed said, as he approached. He was still wearing his sunglasses. Leo would have liked to see those beautiful silver blue eyes of his. “Nice car,” Mark commented. “What happened to the other one?” “I sold it.” “Oh. How was Italy?” Reed shrugged. “Okay. I see we’ve got a full house. We need to get Cabin 3 into shape in case there is a demand.” “There is. I had to turn them down. There’s too much work.” Mark sighed. “Leo has been helping out, but with the guests we had to put some of the repairs on hold and—” “Don’t worry,” Reed said as Mark trailed off, “I’m here to help out now. And if we can’t do it all, we’ll hire someone at the end of the season to finish up what’s left. Let’s take a look at the bookings.” He headed up the stairs to the front door of the house. Leo watched as Mark followed Reed inside. Reed seemed all business. He definitely didn’t come home to socialize. His sister turned him around suddenly and studied his face. 137

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“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “Sorry? Sorry about what?” “You’re in love with him.” “What?” He gasped feigning laughter. “Don’t be stupid. I’m not in—” “I see it in your face, Leo. You were expecting something, for him to hug you maybe or look you in the eye without those glasses on. What color are his eyes?” “What do you want to know that for?” “Just tell me.” “They’re blue, kind of silvery blue, actually.” “Oh, you got it bad,” she accused. “Shut up, Megan, okay?” He didn’t smile this time. Instead, he stalked off down the path, back to the laundry hut. He sat outside, watching one of the young families with their two children start up the brick barbeque. He didn’t realize Adrian was coming in his direction until he was almost on top of him. “Hey, Leo.” Leo looked up, lost in his thoughts. He stared at him for a moment, then smiled. “Oh, hi, Adrian.” “You look like the cat’s ass.” “Thanks.” He laughed. “You, too?” Adrian sank down on the bench beside Leo. “I think I like Mark a little more than I should.” “Like?” “Um, let’s not delve too much deeper, okay?” Leo nodded. He slapped a hand on his thigh, patted it and then withdrew it. “So, Reed has come home I see.” “Father Reed, as Mark calls him.” 138

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Adrian laughed. “I seriously doubt that.” “Um, Reed is a priest only where Mark is concerned.” “And where you’re concerned?” Adrian was looking at him. “What…what do you mean?” “It’s none of my business.” “Yeah but…” Leo narrowed his eyes. “No buts. I’m a writer, honey; writers are natural observers of human nature. You’re human nature has been hanging out for quite some time.” “Oh.” “When Reed was here, he might have played priest with Mark, but he didn’t play priest with you, unless it was naughty priest.” Leo lowered his head. “Ever since he’s been gone, you…well…your heart went with him, Leo.” “Let’s drop it.” He stood. “No shame in being in love.” “I’m not in love.” “Well then, you’re in lust then, but you’re definitely in something.” “I don’t think Reed gives a shit how I feel, or what Mark feels either. It all bounces off of him.” “Don’t be so sure,” he said. He stood, raised a hand and walked off toward the water. *

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A little while later, Leo heard voices in the distance. He looked up to see his little sister chatting with Reed. He was being nice to her, maybe even flirting a little, and she was gushing like a school 139

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girl. Reed didn’t look over at him as he went into Cabin 3, which was just across from the laundry hut. He left the door open however. Leo stood and craned his neck, trying to see if he was coming back out or not. His sister was busy now talking to that nineteenyear-old who’d come with his parents. He had a Frisbee in his hand, and a few minutes later they were tossing it back and forth. Leo walked across the path. He stood at the door of the cabin for a few minutes, then walked in. As soon as he did he heard a gush of water and some loud cussing. “Reed?” he called out, rushing to the bathroom. When he got to the door, he tried to hold back his laughter. The shower head had popped off and Reed stood in the shower, fully clothed, soaking wet, and swearing. “Fuck!” Leo let loose now. He couldn’t help it. Reed looked so funny. Leo howled with laughter. Reed issued him a surly look. “Mark told me the water valve was shut off in this cabin.” “Ah.” Leo placed a hand over his mouth trying to stop laughing. “Mark knows nothing about this stuff. Here…” He reached for a towel and handed it to him. Reed turned the wrench on the pipe and the water stopped. He took the towel from Leo. “You might want to stop laughing now.” “I want to, I”—he started laughing again—“can’t seem…to. You look so…” Reed stepped out of the bathtub and rubbed the towel over his hair. Leo sobered as he watched him. He looked pretty cute with his ruffled hair. “Let me help you,” he said softly, moving closer. He 140

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took the towel and slowly rubbed it over Reed’s hair, lost in his eyes. “You need to take off your clothes.” Reed looked down at him. “Oh yeah? What for?” Leo licked his lips. “To, ah…dry off, of course.” Reed yanked the towel away from him. “We both know what will happen if I take off my clothes. I’m not going to get dry, Leo.” “Reed,” Leo breathed. “I’ve missed you.” He searched his face. “Kiss me.” “Kiss you?” “Goddamn it,” Leo muttered. “Fine. Don’t. Don’t kiss me.” He took a step away. Reed smiled. “What? What are you smiling about?” “Nothing. You have quite a temper. Maybe you’re just really horny. I thought you were getting some action with Adrian?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Mark was getting some action, not me.” “That’s not what you told me when we spoke on the phone.” “I lied, okay? You want a medal?” Reed came closer. “No. A medal is not what I want.” He met his gaze again. “I want to fuck you.” Leo’s heart began to pound in his chest. “That’s what I want, too,” he breathed. “Now.” Reed grinned. He took a step back and shook his head. “Bad timing.” “You’re teasing me. That’s not nice,” Leo accused. He wasn’t happy about feeling this needy. “Leo?” Leo turned around to see his sister standing in the doorway. “Meggy, what do you want?” He didn’t hide his irritation at being 141

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interrupted. “I want Reed, of course,” she said, grinning at the taller man. “What can I do for you, my beautiful lady?” he asked walking around Leo and over to his sister. Leo rolled his eyes. “Teach me to dance.” “To dance?” “Yeah, I got asked to a dance and its old fogy style and I don’t know how to do ballroom.” Leo began to laugh. He slapped Reed’s shoulder. “Well, this guy is the expert in old fogy style dancing, aren’t you, old fellow?” “Very funny,” Reed told him. “You will pay for that.” “I hope so,” Leo said softly. “It’s not that you’re old,” Megan corrected, punching her brother in the arm. “It’s just that Mark told me you know how to do those dances. I think you’re just the right age actually.” Reed chuckled. “Why thank you. I can show you the waltz if you like.” “Yes, please.” Leo smiled at him. “Where did you learn to do social dancing?” “I’m a man of many talents.” He winked. “Come on, sweetheart,” he told Meggy. “Let’s go to the house and find some appropriate music.” “This I gotta see.” Leo chuckled. *

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It was a good evening. Leo felt light-hearted, happy. Reed had told him he wanted him, and Leo knew that when everything was quiet and they could sneak away tonight, they would, and he’d 142

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hold Reed in his arms again. He didn’t want to think about the aftermath. There was no aftermath. There was only here and now. He’d take what he could get, and worry about tomorrow later. Mark found some old ballroom music and put it on the stereo. Leo sat with Mark on the sofa and they watched as Reed took Megan’s hands and gave her instructions in how to dance. Reed looked so handsome and gallant, as if he’d gone back in time, and Megan was enchanted with him. He was graceful and patient, giving her the same instructions over and over again. She stepped on his feet over and over again as well. Within an hour, Megan waltzed effortlessly in Reed’s arms. Leo envied her closeness to him. He would have taken her place in a heartbeat. They looked beautiful together as they danced around and around the living room to the Blue Danube by Strauss, and Mark ran to get the camera. As the music wafted out the window, it drew several of the guests, who stood out front on the front porch watching them through the window. When the music ended, there was great applause. Megan curtsied and Reed gave a little bow, but he seemed slightly embarrassed when he saw the spectators. Mark introduced Reed as “the owner” to the guests standing around. Leo smiled when he noticed that the married couples were, for the first time, focusing on something else but each other. Everyone stood around chatting for a good twenty minutes, then the guests went their separate ways. Megan excused herself to meet her nineteen-year-old, and Mark served dinner, a cold seafood salad with hot rolls. The wine flowed and the conversation was quite easy. They talked of Reed’s trip to Italy, and some adventures he’d had before in Spain, including his close encounter with a great white shark off 143

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the coast. They laughed together. And Mark refrained from his usual digs. Leo’s heart ached looking at Reed, and he tried to control his gnawing hunger, but honestly all he could think about was ripping off Reed’s clothes. By midnight, they were all tired. Mark spoke quietly with Reed in the kitchen, then called out “good night.” Meggy had come home twenty minutes before and fallen asleep on the sofa. Reed picked up the stray wineglasses and Leo helped him put things in the dishwasher. Neither of them spoke for awhile. Leo wanted to ask Reed what Mark had said to him in the kitchen before he went up to bed, but he didn’t. Reed broke the silence when he closed the dishwasher and pressed on the switch. “Why hasn’t Adrian been around?” “I don’t know,” Leo replied. “He’s leaving soon, you know. I think he hoped for more with Mark, but…” “It’s better not to expect anything,” he quipped. “You don’t get disappointed that way.” Leo narrowed his eyes. “That’s pretty cynical.” Reed came closer. “Not cynical, realistic.” “That, ah…offer you made earlier, is it still…” Leo held his breath. Reed leaned down and softly kissed his mouth. “Meet me in the cabin in fifteen minutes.” Leo sucked in some breath, his pulse racing. He nodded as Reed left the kitchen. Fifteen minutes right now seemed endless. Adrian was sitting outside his cabin as Leo left the main house. He knew Adrian could see him. He had no choice but to raise a hand in greeting. Adrian raised a hand in return, then got up and went inside. Damn. 144

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Leo didn’t knock when he got to the door. He just turned the handle and walked in. The cabins were all one large room, except for the bathroom. The kitchenette was in the right-hand corner, the big open space with the sofa and television served as the living room, and the bed sat on a raised platform in the left-hand corner. The bathroom was in behind the bedroom area. Reed lay on the bed. The television was on, and he was watching it from where he lay, a hand tucked under his head. “Did you ever finish that painting?” he asked casually without looking at him. “You never once said you loved me,” a woman on the television cried out to the man who had walked into the room. “Was it lust or love? Can we ever know the difference?” Leo laughed to himself. How fucking appropriate. Reed turned off the television with the remote and looked at him. A lone lamp glowed in the corner, giving off a low light. “Yes,” Leo said. “I finished it. And I’ve done others.” “Of Mark and Adrian?” “No. I never did paint either one of them. I’ve done others of you. Actually, I haven’t painted anyone else but you.” “That’s boring.” Leo walked over to the bed. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Painting you helped some.” Reed looked at him with those unreadable eyes, but didn’t say anything. “Adrian saw me.” “Adrian saw you what?” “Come here tonight. He was sitting outside.” “So?” 145

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“I just thought I’d—” “You want to leave?” “No.” “Are you afraid he’ll tell Mark?” “Are you?” Reed sat up. “I don’t really care if he tells Mark or not. But you do.” “He’s my best friend. He’ll be around long after you’ve forgotten my name.” “Whoa,” Reed sat up. “What?” “That’s some hostility.” “Fuck you, Reed. I’m not hostile. I’m…how did you say that earlier…realistic? I know this means nothing to you.” Reed met his gaze. “You seem to know a lot about the way I feel, Leo. I commend you. You must be able to see into my soul.” “What does that mean?” “Just that you think you can read my mind. Like I said, I commend you for that. It’s truly a gift you have.” “You’re laughing at me now.” “A little bit.” “Goddamned unreadable Reed. Your name has a certain irony to it, don’t you think?” “What’s ironic is that you tell me I’m unreadable, I show nothing, yet you assume I feel nothing either.” He stood, titled his head. “If I’m such an insensitive, unfeeling bastard, what are you doing here, Leo?” “You said you wanted to fuck me. And maybe I want to fuck you. That’s what it’s all about, right?” “According to whom this time, you or me?” He had moved 146

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closer. Leo could feel his breath on his face now. He was looking down into his eyes. “Both of us,” Leo hissed, his cock hard, his chest heaving. “You’re a good fuck, Reed. And right now”—he reached up and took hold of the material at the top of his T-shirt—“a good fuck is what I need.” He yanked, ripping the shirt down the center. Reed stood there with his T-shirt half hanging off his torso and Leo’s only thought was devouring him. He pressed his lips against his chest and fumbled with his zipper. “Mr. Good Fuck,” he muttered, nibbling one of his nipples and scooping his erection out of his jeans. He gasped with pleasure as his fingers wrapped around Reed’s hard shaft. He yanked the jeans and underwear down with one pull, capturing one of Reed’s round hard butt cheeks in his palms. Reed grabbed the back of Leo’s hair. He pulled his head back from his chest. “Mr. Good Fuck,” he whispered, looking into his eyes. “How many Mr. Good Fuck’s have there been, Leo?” He leaned down and licked a trail up his throat, his lips caressing his ear. “What number am I? How do I rate?” “Christ, Reed,” Leo pleaded, “touch me.” Reed’s mouth crushed his. His arms folded around his body as his tongue snaked around his. Suddenly, Reed lifted him off the floor and swung him around, depositing him on the bed. Leo stripped off his own shirt and began to take off his pants and underwear, as Reed threw aside what was left of his T-shirt and kicked his pants and underwear away from his bare feet. Leo moaned as Reed sank back into his arms. His body molded to his, his hard cock nudging against his own. Reed kissed him slowly and sensuously, his fingers tenderly caressing Leo’s hair, smoothing over his forehead, down the sides of his face. Reed’s 147

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hands reached down and laced in his and their kissing grew deeper, hotter, and more intense. Oh God, oh God. Reed’s mouth left his and moved to his chest. He licked and suckled each nipple, taking them between his teeth, gently, while one hand slipped down between his thighs. Reed held his balls in his hand, rolled them between his fingers, made tiny circles around the head of his cock, then moved under him to open him. Leo’s hips bucked as Reed’s finger found his prostate, teasing it, driving him half mad. The mouth moved lower, licked his navel, licked his cock. Reed drove his finger deeper, then wrapped his lips around the head of Leo’s penis. Mercy. Mercy. Was it like this the last time, too? This man knew how to use his hands, his lips, his tongue, God…I’m going… “Reed. Please?” Reed moved more of Leo’s dick into his mouth, sucking and licking, two fingers now inside him. Leo moaned. “Oh God, Reed!” Leo came up into a sitting position. Reed pushed him back down with his hand, came off his cock. His lips glistened with Leo’s juices. He rolled him over, removed his fingers and opened him more. His tongue darted inside of him, and a hand massaged his balls. Then a finger again, wet with cream, oiled him, readied him for what was to come. Leo went up on his knees, his hips rocking back and forth. “Fuck me.” “You have to say, Mr. Good Fuck.” Leo glanced at him sharply. “Reed, I…” He gave him a slow smile. “Come on, Leo. That’s what I am. So, say it.” 148

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“I love…” He stopped. “I love your cock.” “Yeah, show me.” Leo turned around. Reed was sitting back on his legs, his beautiful cock hard and on display. Leo groaned. “Fuck, you are so beautiful.” He stroked it with his hand. He leaned forward and kissed it, licked his balls. “You want it?” “Yes, you know I do, so why are you torturing me?” Reed didn’t reply. He just shook his head. “Here.” He handed him a condom. “Put it on me.” Leo tore the package open with shaking fingers and then placed it on the tip of Reed’s cock. He rolled it down to the end and leaned forward to kiss him on the mouth. He pushed back his hair. “You want me?” “Oh yeah.” He nodded. “More than you know.” “I want to see your face when you come.” Reed reached for him. He pulled him forward. “Then ride me. Ride my cock. Come on,” he urged as Leo positioned himself facing him. Reed supported his back as he went into him, lowering him down onto his rock hard rod, his face close to his. For a long time, he waited, waited for Leo to lower himself onto his shaft. Leo strained, sweat pouring off him as inch by inch of Reed’s glorious cock sliced up into him. Some pain, burning, then an ache, a need, a hunger for Reed that was closer to insanity than he’d ever been. They were completely joined and Reed didn’t move. He just looked down into his eyes, filling Leo liked he’d never been filled before, stretching him wide and deep. “Say my name,” Reed urged. “Say it.” 149

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“Reed. Oh God, Reed.” The tears slid down his face. Reed moved up on his knees, bearing down on him. He began to move, his breathing coming in slow, deep gasps. His hands pinned Leo’s arms above his head, holding him completely in his power. And never before had Leo felt possessed like this, possessed by his eyes, his hands, and his cock. Leo grabbed the rungs in the headboard as Reed let go of his arms and placed his palms flat on the bed. He pulled almost all the way out and slammed in again all the way. It was like an explosion going off in Leo’s head. Reed did it again, then faster and faster. Leo cried out. “Mother of God! Yes, yes, damn. Damn it…Reed. Yeah…yeah…aggggggggg.” He could see his cock shooting reams of come, hitting Reed’s stomach and his chest. Reed slowed his pace. He buried his face in Leo’s neck, breathing hard as Leo grabbed his hair. “Baby, baby.” He reared back, brought his head up, grunted, and began to pump again. His head tipped back and he let out a shout, his beautiful face contorting with a mixture of pleasure and pain. He gasped and separated himself from Leo. He lay down at the bottom of the bed, not moving for a second, his breathing coming fast and hard. Leo closed his eyes, licked his lips, stretched, his muscles relaxed. “Um,” he murmured, sleepy now. “That was incredible.” He felt Reed getting off the bed. He opened his eyes, watching as he walked across the floor naked, and went to the fridge. Leo wanted to hold him. He wanted to hold him and never let him go. Reed seemed so far away all of a sudden. “You better go back to the house,” Reed said, not looking at him. He shut the refrigerator door, went to sit on the sofa naked with a half empty bottle of juice in his hand. He took another swig. 150

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Leo nodded, sat up. “I suppose.” Reed wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. “Mark wouldn’t understand.” He didn’t comment. “What did he say to you before he went upstairs tonight?” Leo asked, searching for his pants. “He said he’d leave his bedroom door unlocked,” he replied without expression. “Oh. Poor Adrian.” Reed glanced at him as Leo was doing up his pants. “And I’m to blame because Mark will never find happiness I suppose.” “I didn’t say that.” “It wasn’t a question.” “You can’t blame yourself. People feel what they feel. You can’t make Mark not love you, even if you’ve certainly tried hard enough.” “Yes, I’m an evil fuck.” “No.” Leo shook his head as he came over to the sofa. He wanted to touch him but he thought better of it. If he touched him, he wouldn’t be able to leave. “You’re just not a…” He paused. “I’m not a what?” He looked at him, waiting for an answer. “Guys like you…well…men shouldn’t fall in love with guys like you, I guess.” “But we’re good for fucking, right, Leo?” He was still looking at him. “It’s safer that way,” Leo said, bunching his hands into fists. “Safer for the heart.” “I see.” He stood. “Why don’t you take your bullshit and your heart, and get out of here.” 151

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“You’re angry now? Finally, I get a reaction! Well, I’ll be damned.” “Get out,” Reed said quietly, not looking at him. Leo nodded and walked to the door. “If I hurt your feelings, I’m sorry. But you wouldn’t want me to think of this as any more than a fuck, would you?” “You know what I want, Leo,” he replied lightly. “You always do.” The tears flowed as Leo walked back to the house. When he got to the door, he wiped them away and hurried upstairs to his room. *

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The following day Mark found Reed working on Cabin 3. He was changing the leaking pipe in the bathroom. Mark pitched in on fixing the hinges on the kitchen cabinet. Reed was really quiet as he worked. He looked tired. When the plumbing worked properly again, Mark told him he was impressed. “Don’t be,” Reed said. “Took me forever.” Mark laughed. “You know more about that stuff than I do.” “My father taught me to do basic things. Is the cupboard all right?” “Yeah. I guess we should paint. Leo is finishing the painting in Cabin 5. We had a check out today.” “Good. I’m going into town later to see the real estate person. Want to come?” “No. I’ll let you handle that. I think Leo needs to go into town though. He might want to go with you.” 152

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“Whatever.” He shrugged and walked outside. *

*

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In the car, Leo held his cell phone in his hand. He stared at it, waiting for Reed to get behind the wheel. His phone said he had twenty-three messages and he was afraid to listen to them. Twentythree? It didn’t seem possible. When Reed got into the car, Leo tensed. He wasn’t sure if Reed wanted him to go with him to town, but Mark had insisted. “I hope it’s okay,” he said. “Why wouldn’t it be?” he asked. “I thought you were angry at me.” “I’m not angry at you, Leo,” he replied and started the engine. He drove fast but Leo wasn’t afraid. Reed was a really good driver, and seemed to be completely in control, just like he was in bed. “I need to get a phone card,” Leo mentioned as Reed pulled up in front of the real estate office. “Over there probably, at that cigar shop. I won’t be long.” He got out of the car and walked into the building. Leo walked to the cigar shop and asked for a phone card. Then he stood beside the car, plugging in the numbers. When Reed returned, the voice told him he had added twenty-five dollars, and he closed the phone. “Ready?” Reed asked, putting on his sunglasses again. “Yeah.” “You need anything else?” “No. I’m good.” They drove back in silence. Leo looked over at him once in 153

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awhile, his gaze caressing his hands on the wheel, moving down to his muscular thigh, trying not to dwell on what lay between his legs, so temptingly close. He almost slid his hand over there but changed his mind. When they arrived at the house, Leo turned to Reed in the car and said, “What would you like me to do tonight?” “Regarding?” He lifted an eyebrow. Leo flushed. “The renovation stuff, of course. I could help you if you want to work tonight. I know there’s a lot to do.” “You can help me fill some holes”—he paused, then grinned— “in the wall that is.” “That’s what I thought you meant,” Leo muttered, “in the damn wall.” Reed was laughing as he got out of the car. Leo gave him a dirty look. That made Reed laugh all the more. Leo opened his mouth to say something, but then Meggy appeared in her bathing suit. “Hi, guys.” “Hey, princess.” Reed smirked at Leo. Leo knew Reed realized Meg had prevented him from saying what was on his mind. That seemed to really amuse Reed. It made Leo angry. Reed could be a real asshole sometimes. “Reed, come swimming with me, please?” Meggy grabbed his arm. “Sure,” he said, “just let me change.” “You can come, too, Leo,” she added, glancing at him over her shoulder while she clung to Reed’s arm. “Gee thanks,” he muttered. “I’ll pass. I’ve got things to do. Have fun.” Leo went inside to find Mark. He spied him out in the backyard 154

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talking to Adrian. Adrian was leaving tomorrow. Leo decided not to interrupt them. Upstairs, he turned his phone back on. His worst nightmare had become a reality. All but three of the calls on his phone were from Pierre. His message box was filled to capacity. He sighed and sank down on the bed. The messages all basically said the same thing. I miss you. I made a mistake. My marriage is over. I’ve come to my senses. Leo, damn it, call me, I love you. There were three messages from Felix. Jacques had left him for good. He’d got a big part in a show. Call me, Leo. Let me know how you are. When Mark came into the bedroom, Leo had been sitting there for quite some time. Mark came and sat beside him. “Don’t worry, Leo, Reed won’t corrupt Meggy, and she’ll get over her little crush.” Leo looked at him. “What?” “Meggy with Reed.” “Oh,” he shook his head, “I’m not worried about that. I know Reed would never try anything with Meggy. He’s just being nice.” “What’s wrong then?” He sighed. “Pierre has been calling me on the cell. He says he loves me. He left his wife.” “Leo,” Mark said, his voice excited, “that’s good news, isn’t it? You do love the guy?” “I…well, I thought so, yes.” “What do you mean, thought so? Call him.” He nodded. “I will. I need to think.” “Good,” Mark said, standing. “Now, come on downstairs. It’s almost supper time. Meggy and Reed are starved.” “Mark?” 155

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“What?” Leo stood as well. “What about Adrian?” “What about Adrian?” “Well, you tell me to call Pierre but are you even going to… I mean, are you going to let him just walk out of your life?” “I’m a little confused right now.” “Why don’t you spend some time with him tonight, before he leaves? Make sure you’re not making a mistake. Reed is not… I mean, he doesn’t play for keeps, Mark. After he sells this place, you’ll probably never see him again, neither one of us will.” “Hey,” Mark said, placing a hand on Leo’s shoulder, “don’t cry for me, crazy boy. I’ll miss Reed but I’ll be okay. I have to accept it.” Leo nodded. It wasn’t Mark he was crying for. *

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Reed and Meggy were playing checkers at the table when Leo walked into the room. Mark was busy in the kitchen. Meggy laughed. “You cheat,” she accused. “Hey, you can’t move there,” Reed told her. “That’s illegal. Just because you’re cute doesn’t mean you can get away with—” “Hey.” Meggy threw her napkin at him, her eyes alive with humor. “You should let me win anyway. You would if you were a gentleman.” “But honey,” he winked, “I’m not gentleman.” “You’re a flirt, Reed Owens.” She laughed, sitting back in her chair, then glanced at her brother. “Don’t play games with this guy. He’s dangerous.” “Oh, I know that,” Leo said, looking at him. 156

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Reed met his gaze, an eyebrow slightly cocked. Meggy glanced from one to another. “Okay,” she muttered, “I don’t think we’re talking about the same game.” Mark came out and saved them from the conversation. “Okay, kids, clean up the game. Supper is on.” “Great, I’m starved,” Meggy announced. A few minutes later, they all sat down to fried chicken and salad. Reed complimented Mark on the chicken and he smiled, appearing pleased with the compliment. “Oh,” Mark said suddenly, pouring some wine into Leo’s glass, “Leo has some good news.” Leo looked up sharply from his plate. “I do?” “Pierre,” Mark reminded him. “Pierre?” Reed asked, looking at Leo. “Oh, Mark, ah…never mind that now.” Leo tried to smile but he could have kicked Mark’s ass. “It’s kind of private.” “Why?” Mark demanded. “You love the guy.” Leo glanced at Reed, who lifted his glass of wine and took a drink. He put it down. “Drop it,” Leo snapped. “But it’s exciting news,” Mark insisted. “At least there will be one happy ending around here.” “Who’s Pierre?” his sister asked. Leo sighed. “Let’s just eat.” “Pierre was a guy Leo met in Paris,” Mark told Meggy. “They fell in love, then Leo discovered that Pierre was married and—” “Mark! Jesus Christ,” Leo snapped. “I said to drop it.” Reed wiped his mouth on a napkin. “The chicken was great, Mark. I think I’ll get to work on the cabin.” He stood. “I don’t get why you’re so pissed off,” Mark said. “Pierre loves 157

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you. He wants you back. He left his wife for you. Aren’t you happy?” “Reed,” Leo said, looking at him. Reed threw down his napkin on the table. “I don’t think I need any help tonight, Leo. If I were you, I’d call that guy back pronto. It looks like he’s missing you.” Leo watched him leave the room, his heart sinking. “Reed,” he said softly under his breath. Meggy looked from one to another. “What in hell was that?” “What was what?” Mark asked. “Leo?” she looked at him. Leo got up and scraped back his chair. “Mark, Jesus Christ, did you have to do that?” Mark met his gaze. “It shouldn’t have mattered to you if Reed knew. And it shouldn’t have mattered to Reed about Pierre. But it did, didn’t it? It mattered.” “Mark,” Leo muttered, “you don’t understand.” “Yes, I do,” he said. “All this time you were supposed to be my friend, and what you really wanted was him. You’ve been fucking Reed behind my back.” “Oh, my God,” his sister said. “It didn’t mean anything, Mark. Reed doesn’t feel anything for me. Sex to him is like brushing his teeth.” “But you feel something for him. It’s in your eyes when you look at him. I’m not a fool.” “Yeah, you are,” Leo told him. “You are a fool, but so am I. Two fools in love with the same man, a man who doesn’t give a damn about either one of us.” He left the room before the tears threatened and went outside. He walked down to the water, passing the happy people on the 158

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way, nodding to them briefly, as he tried to hide the tears. He stared at the watch he still wore on his wrist, the one Pierre had given him, the one he thought he’d never part with. He unclasped it and took it off. Without hesitation he threw it into the lake, then pulled out his cell phone. He tried to remember Pierre’s touch, his kiss. At one time that’s all he could think about. Now, he was having a hard time even picturing his face. “Damn you, Reed.” He grunted as he punched in Pierre’s cell phone number. “It’s over,” he said when Pierre’s voice mail answered. “I’m sorry, Pierre. I did love you, but not enough. Don’t call me anymore.” He closed the phone, hung his head and cried. *

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The sun dipped low in the sky and the moon glowed above. He’d been sitting on the rock by the water a lot longer than he thought. Thankfully, his phone hadn’t rung. Maybe it was time to go, leave here. He wondered if Mark would ever forgive him for sleeping with Reed. It didn’t matter really. He’d be punished for that. The longing, the ache of wanting Reed would be enough. He walked away from the water. The light in Adrian’s cabin was on. Leo imagined that he had his own ache to deal with. He paused, prepared to walk on, when Adrian came out on the porch. He seemed surprised to see Leo. “Oh, hi, I heard footsteps and I thought it was—” “Mark. You hoped it was Mark.” Leo smiled sadly at him. “Sorry.” “Want to come in for a drink?” 159

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Leo nodded. “I’m not sure if I even have a place to sleep tonight.” “Oh?” Leo followed him inside. “Mark’s pissed off at me. And I deserve it.” “Ah, he found out you were fucking Reed.” “So you did know. You saw me the other night.” “Yeah,” he said, pouring some whiskey into a glass, “but I knew before that. At least I knew it was bound to happen.” “Oh.” Leo took the glass and swallowed down the contents. He sat beside Adrian on the sofa. “Maybe we should fuck.” Adrian laughed. “What?” “That’s quite an invitation.” Leo lay back on the sofa. “It wouldn’t be complicated.” “It’s always complicated.” “Yeah, Mark used you and Reed used me.” “Are you sure about that?” Adrian refilled Leo’s glass and his own. “Mark loves Reed. And Reed, well, he’d fuck anything. He just doesn’t feel anything.” “Mark loves the idea of Reed,” Adrian said. “And Reed, well, I think he feels more than you think.” “So you’re the love expert now?” Leo laughed and swallowed the liquor, making a face. “No, no expert, believe me. I observe people, and Reed feels a lot. He just doesn’t show it.” “He makes love like…” Leo swallowed. “He makes love so beautifully. I…” “And it’s there in bed that his feelings show, in his touch, his 160

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kiss.” “It’s called lust, not love.” “Um, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.” “Are you saying you think Reed actually…” He paused. “It would be a dream.” “Because you’re in love with him.” Leo nodded. “Yes. I had to admit that to myself tonight while I considered drowning myself in the lake.” Adrian laughed. He moved closer, placed his arm around him. “Don’t do that.” Leo’s eyes drooped. “It’s okay, Leo, sleep. You’re safe.” *

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Mark stood in the cabin watching as Reed plastered the cracks in the wall. He felt the bitterness rise in his throat, and sadness, sadness at the betrayal, and sadness at the loss. He didn’t want to lose Reed. He didn’t want to lose Leo. It looked like he was losing them both. Reed suddenly realized Mark was there because he turned around and said, “Did you need something?” “It’s a little late, isn’t it?” Mark asked him, perching on the bed. “I didn’t notice. Am I making too much noise?” “No.” Reed put down the putty knife. “Did you want to change the color?” Mark shrugged. He could have cared less right now about the color of the damn room. He didn’t hesitate. The words just 161

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tumbled out of his mouth. “How could you have fucked Leo?” He didn’t flinch. That was his Reed. “It happened.” “You seduced him. He wouldn’t have done that to me if—” “He didn’t do that to you, Mark. I’m not yours.” He met his gaze. Mark swallowed. “You might have told me.” “Why? So you could have overreacted?” “He’s in love with someone else, so you can’t have him.” Reed turned his back. Mark stood. “He came here from Europe with a broken heart. You were just rebound stuff.” “So it appears,” he replied, his tone quipped. “But then again,” Mark added, “it’s not like you won’t recover. You can just pick out the next pretty boy in line. You didn’t actually feel anything, did you, Reed?” He turned around now, a smile cut into his jaw like a thin, cold line. “No, of course not, Mark. I’m Mr. Good Fuck. Leo actually called me that. I’m like a machine. Any feelings I might have had, you drained them out of me long ago.” Mark’s hands trembled. “Don’t. Don’t say that.” “Any man I might care for…well…you take care of that for me. I don’t have to feel, at least not for long. You want to fuck, Mark?” His eyes were intense, hard. “You want me to fuck you?” Mark backed away, shook his head. “No.” “Come on, Mark.” He began to unbutton his shirt. “Fuck me. That’s what you want, what you’ve always wanted, and since I’m incapable of feeling, we’ll just forget it in the morning.” “Reed!” Mark began to cry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I…” Reed took a few steps, his arms went around him, and he caressed his hair. Mark felt his lips touch his forehead. “It’s okay. 162

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I’m sorry. Let me go, Mark. Please. Let me go so I can get out from behind this shadow, so I can stop being who you think I am.” Mark looked up at him. He touched his hair, kissed his mouth tenderly. “Okay, baby,” he replied. “Okay.”

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CHAPTER 6 Leo had one hell of a hangover. He had a hard time opening his eyes and when he did, he saw some luggage sitting in the middle of the floor. He wasn’t sure where he was at for a moment. He tried to move his head, and moaned. “Hello, sunshine,” Adrian said, appearing suddenly with coffee in hand. Seeing Adrian jogged his memory. He remembered drinking with him last night. He must have fallen asleep. Leo took the coffee with a grateful nod. He drank some of the steaming brew, then found his voice. “You leaving for real?” “No reason to stay.” “Did Mark come to see you last night?” He shook his head. “I hate to tell you this, kid, but I saw Mark 164

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coming out of Reed’s cabin at five this morning.” Mark spent the night with Reed? “Are you sure?” “Yep. I was sitting on the porch. He didn’t see me. He just stumbled out, all sleepy eyed and went back to the house.” “I don’t get it.” “Don’t even try.” Adrian sighed. “All I know is, if Reed so much as crooked his little finger, Mark would go running. Anyway, I never stood a chance. And it’s stupid, but can you give Mark my number?” He handed him a piece of paper. “He can reach me here if…” He trailed off. “Anyway, I got to go. Good luck, Leo. Be happy.” Leo got up off the sofa and gave Adrian a hug. “Mark is making a mistake letting you go.” “It would be nice if he knew that.” Leo came out on the porch and watched as Adrian got into his car. Just as he drove off, Reed came out of his cabin, dressed in shorts and running shoes, ready for his morning jog. He stopped dead when he saw Leo standing on Adrian’s porch. Leo muttered something under his breath, walked back into the cabin, and slammed the door. Reed and Mark spent the night together, after Reed told him he wanted Mark to move on. It was all bullshit. Reed was full of bullshit. The door opened suddenly and Reed stood there, the sunlight in his hair. He placed a hand on the doorjamb. “What? You can’t say good morning?” His voice was low, angry. “Did you have a good time with Adrian?” Leo rubbed his temple. Reed’s eyes went to the bottle of whiskey and the glasses sitting on the coffee table. “I don’t need your bullshit this morning, Reed. I have a 165

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hangover. And you have some fucking nerve asking me that question.” “I believe the better expression is balls. I have some balls, and if I remember right, you seem to like my balls. Was he good, Leo?” “Who? Was who good?” He sneered. “Adrian.” “I didn’t fuck Adrian, if that’s what you think. And how was Mark? Was he as good as you remembered?” His eyes widened a little. “Yes, Adrian saw Mark come out of your cabin at dawn. Maybe you were playing checkers.” “Shit.” “Shit?” He met Leo’s gaze, came in, and closed the door. “Stay the fuck away from me. You are Mr. Good Fuck. You don’t give a shit about anything but getting your rocks off.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Okay, that’s it. That’s fucking it!” He seized Leo by the shoulders and pressed him against the wall. Leo tried to fight him off, but Reed was bigger and stronger. He held him there, prone, unable to move, staring helplessly into those beautiful eyes. “Look at me.” He was looking. “Why in the hell did you stay with Adrian last night, and are you fucking going back to Pierre, or not?” Leo’s chest heaved. He felt his cock harden. Damn you, Reed. “You’re a bully.” “Maybe so, but answer my question and I’ll let you go.” “There were two questions.” He tried to struggle out of his 166

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grasp. “Which one do you want me to answer first?” Reed’s mouth came close to his. His lips almost caressed his as he spoke. “Christ, Leo, don’t torture me.” He moaned. “Did you fuck Adrian or not?” “Not,” he said, closing his eyes and moving his mouth on his. “Not,” he murmured. “Not.” Reed pressed his body against his. It was Leo’s turn to moan. Reed released his arms, pulled his tank top over his head. Leo moved his hands up his back, pressed him close, lowered his mouth onto his shoulder. Reed undid Leo’s shirt, unzipped his jeans, and fished out his cock. He squeezed it in his hand. Leo whimpered. “Oh, God, yes.” It didn’t matter if Reed had fucked Mark last night. It didn’t matter who he fucked, as long as he fucked him right now. “Oh shit,” Leo muttered, “take off those fucking shorts, they’re driving me mad.” He pawed at the nylon jogging shorts. The shorts came down, and Leo took off his own jeans, clutching Reed’s head as he did and kissing him deeply. Leo’s hands moved over Reed’s hard abs and then sank down to his cock as Leo went to his knees. He pressed his lips against his shaft, breathing in the musky maleness of Reed. Reed placed his hand in his hair as Leo began to suck his cock. Leo felt Reed heave as his lips captured the head of his cock and he glanced up at him to see that his eyes were closed. He paused as Reed’s chest heaved again. Tears ran in streams down his face. Leo released his cock. “God, don’t stop,” Reed muttered. “Don’t stop.” Leo started to get up, but Reed pressed him back down. “Suck 167

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it,” he urged. “Go on.” Leo took his cock in hand again and into his mouth. He opened his mouth wider, his jaw aching as he brought Reed’s cock to the base of his throat. “Fuck!” Reed shouted, his fingers twisting in Leo’s hair. “Yah…oh God…Fuck!” Reed’s come hit the back of Leo’s throat. He swallowed, came off of it, and watched with wonder as Reed stumbled back against the wall, his cock in his hand as it released its load. Leo got to his feet, his eyes searching his face. Reed’s eyes were closed again. His face was damp with tears. Leo touched his face. “What is this?” Reed opened his eyes, dragged Leo closer and joined his mouth with his, kissing him passionately. Leo floated, he melted. He would have done anything at that moment. He handled Reed’s penis, feeling it grow in his hand. He wanted him inside of him. “Lay down on the floor on your back,” he told him. Reed watched as Leo went over to the bureau and found lube and condoms that Adrian had left behind. Then he sank to the floor. Leo joined him. He took a cushion off the sofa. “You’re so hot,” he whispered. Reed smiled at him. “Lay down, baby.” Leo placed a cushion under his neck. Leo knelt at his head. He lowered his cock to Reed’s lips. Reed let Leo trail his cock across his mouth, then he gently licked around the tip, dipping it into the opening, already covered with come. “You taste delicious,” Reed told him. 168

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“Eat it,” Leo urged. “I want to fuck your beautiful face, Reed.” Reed opened his mouth and tipped his head back. Leo lowered his cock into the opening. Leo was so turned on. He’d never seen anything more erotic. Reed ate his shaft, pleasuring it with his tongue and lips, as one hand stroked his own erect cock. Leo kept his eyes on Reed’s cock as his own came close to the edge. “Let go,” he urged. “I don’t want to come yet.” He leaned down and kissed Reed’s mouth, tasting his own juices, and then moved around Reed’s body. “Lift your knees, spread your legs. Keep stroking yourself like that. God, it’s so hot,” Leo breathed. Reed let his free hand stray up to his own chest. He pinched one nipple, then the other. Leo leaned over and licked both of them, not being able to resist nibbling on them, watching them stiffen deliciously. “Your body is so beautiful.” Reed smiled at him, licked his lips as Leo reached between his legs and found his entrance. He poked his finger in, earning a grunt from Reed, who kept stroking his cock slowly. “Fuck me,” Reed whispered, meeting his eyes. “Fuck me, Leo.” Leo swallowed. He spread some lube on his fingers, lifted Reed’s feet onto his shoulders. His inserted another finger up inside of him, moving it in and out. “It’s cold,” he said, referring to the lube. “Oh no,” Reed shook his head. “I’m anything but cold. Fuck me deeper.” Leo moved his fingers deeper, found his prostate. The chords in Reed’s neck strained as his head went back farther. “Yesssssssss,” he hissed. “Leo, damn it, go.” Leo withdrew his fingers. He dragged Reed’s ass closer, 169

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positioned his cock, and delved into him, past the first ring of muscles, so tight they strangled his shaft. “Oh God, you’re so tight. Baby. Um…yeah.” He pushed deeper still, and Reed thrashed under him. “Am I hurting you?” He knew Reed didn’t usually bottom, but it felt incredible being inside him. “Fuck no!” Leo laughed, sweat pouring into his eyes. “Pound me, fuck me, do it, Leo. Do it.” He was all the way inside Reed, and Leo tried not to come but his cock pulsed. “Shit, damn, I’m so in love,” he cried out, pumping back and forth as his entire body vibrated with release. A gush of warmth cascaded over him. He saw only Reed as Reed jerked himself to completion. Leo tried to get his breath. His cock disconnected from Reed’s body. He felt the separation acutely. He curled up into a fetal position on the rug and closed his eyes. Suddenly, strong arms folded around him from behind. He felt the length of Reed’s hard muscular body against his, and he sighed with pleasure. After a few minutes, Leo turned around in his arms. He caressed Reed’s cheek, studied the contours of his face. “I never know what you’re thinking.” “You never care to ask.” Leo narrowed his eyes. “You always assume you know, Leo. You said you loved me. Is that true?” Leo broke away from his arms, sat up. “What? You want me to say that, so you can laugh at me?” He sat up, too. “You already said it. You said it when you were 170

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inside me. And why in the hell would I laugh at you?” He turned his face around to look at him. “I’m confused.” “Well, me, too.” Leo swallowed hard, his throat hurt. He held back the tears. “You spent the night with Mark.” “Yes.” He sighed. “I did.” He wrapped his arms around his knees, laid his dark head there. “But we didn’t sleep together.” “But Adrian said he saw you.” “Maybe he saw me leave his cabin, Leo. But did he see me fuck him?” “No. But why did Mark spend the night in your cabin?” “We talked for a long time. We cried. And we came to an understanding. Mark fell asleep on the sofa.” “Is that true?” “Leo, Christ, please, can you have some trust in me? And if you don’t believe me then ask him yourself. Now, you. What were you doing with Adrian?” “We got drunk. He’s in love with Mark. I was consoling him. We didn’t fuck either, we just talked.” “I believe you.” “Thank you.” Leo felt ashamed. “I believe you, too.” “Thank you. And Pierre?” “He’s history. I told him yesterday it was over. I left a message on his phone.” Reed winced. “What?” “That’s a little cold.” “He was married and he never told me.” Reed lay back, chuckling. “What?” Leo demanded, searching his face. “Nothing. It’s just cold, that’s all.” 171

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“Well, he hurt me badly. And now he’s all apologetic. Once a cheat, always a cheat, I say.” “So, did you mean it?” Reed lay down on his back, looking at him. “What?” “That you’re in love with me?” “It was said in the heat of the moment, Reed. I—” “Did you mean it, Leo?” “I can’t get burned again,” he said softly. “I think you might…kill me.” Tears tumbled from Leo’s eyes. “Last night,” Reed said, “when Mark and I had our talk, I told him we were even.” “Even?” “He said that I was just rebound, that sex with me meant nothing to you but a way to get over the pain from Pierre.” “But that’s not true.” Reed sat up and placed a finger on Leo’s lips. “I wanted to die. I couldn’t bear to think that what we’d shared meant nothing to you, and all the time you were in my arms, you were thinking of another man. That’s why I told him we were even. I love you, Leo. Haven’t you guessed that by now?” Leo’s mouth opened. His heart pounded in his ribs. Reed took his finger away. He couldn’t speak. He just sat there looking at him. “I told Mark. He knows how I feel. And finally he accepted it. He knows he made a mistake with Adrian. He regrets letting him go. He agreed to let me go.” Leo clutched Reed around the neck. He held on tight, saying nothing. He had no words. Now he understood why there were tears on Reed’s face. 172

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“So, I have to ask you again,” Reed whispered beside Leo’s ear, “do you love me, Leo?” Leo’s face sank into his neck. “God, yes, yes, Reed.” He lifted his head and his mouth searched hungrily for his. He pushed him back on the floor and devoured that beautiful mouth. “I love you, baby, with all my heart and soul. I’ll love you forever.” Leo lowered his head on Reed’s chest. “This is like a dream,” he said, tightening his hold on Reed. “Why was I the last one to know?” He lifted his head, smiling a little, letting his hand move down between Reed’s thighs. “You didn’t ask the magical question.” “Magical question,” Leo echoed, laughing. “I’ll give you a magical question,” he threatened, moving on top of him and straddling Reed’s hips. Reed laughed. “I’m under siege, am I?” “Damn right. Your cock is mine.” They were laughing, wrestling back and forth on the floor until finally Leo impaled himself on Reed’s cock, and the laughter died. *

*

*

Two hours later, Reed took a quick shower, pulled on the shorts that drove Leo wild, and left the cabin to go for his jog. Leo lay on the floor, his hand moving over the stained carpet. He guessed they’d have to change that, too. He smiled, closing his eyes, groaning when he heard his cell phone ringing. He got off the floor and went to answer it. It was Felix. Leo was happy to hear his voice. “How are you? I was about to call you.” “I’m fine. And you, Leo? I’ve been worried. Pierre has been 173

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here asking about you? Did he reach you?” “Yes. It’s over.” “Good. He was no good, him.” “And Jacques?” Felix chuckled. “Still sleeping.” Leo smiled, shook his head. “I thought it was over.” “Yeah.” “You really love him.” “Yes, the bastard.” Leo laughed again. “Can’t beat love, Felix. It will win every time.” “And you have some sexy American now?” “I have the love of my life,” he replied, smiling. God, he meant that. “Oh, Leo, fantastique. I told you love would find you again. Is he very beautiful?” “Oh, yes. He’s very, very beautiful.” “Good in bed?” “Oui, oui, oui.” “Bring him to Paris.” “Maybe I will. Say hello to Jacques. I’ll call you soon.” “Okay, bye.” Leo would have loved to wait for Reed to come back to the cabin. He would have loved to lick the sweat off his chest, soap his body in the shower, make love to every inch of him, but he needed to talk to Mark. When he got to the house, Mark was in his room. Suitcases sat on the bed. Leo took a deep breath, and then knocked. Mark looked around, gave him a faint smile. “Hey there, crazy boy.” 174

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“Mark, where are you going?” “Reed and I discussed it last night. He’s advancing me the money from what he thinks he’ll get from the sale. If it’s any more, he’ll send me the difference later. It’s time I made a move.” “Where are you going?” Leo swallowed. “I’m going home to visit my folks for a bit. After that, I don’t know. It’s for the best, Leo. Don’t look so sad.” He came over and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Leo hugged him. “For what? Falling in love?” Mark moved away. “God, I can’t blame you for what I’m guilty of myself. It will be okay. I just need time and space. You were right all along. It wasn’t good for me to stay here, hoping, living on dreams.” Leo felt in his pocket. “I have something for you,” he said, taking out the paper Adrian had given him. “Here.” Mark took it, looked at it for a moment, then tucked it into his suitcase. “Thanks. The way I treated him, I doubt he’ll ever look at me again, let alone—” “He’s in love with you,” Leo told him. Mark smiled. “Thanks. I have no idea why you’re being so nice to me, Leo. I did everything I could to keep you and Reed apart. I even told him that you—” “That doesn’t matter anymore,” Leo said. “You’ll always be my best friend, Mark. Nothing will change that.” “Reed has changed that. He’ll be your best friend now. He’ll be your everything. And that’s okay because you’re the luckiest guy in the world, and so is he.” Leo nodded. “Look, I stood in Reed’s way once when he fell in love. I won’t do it again. He deserves to be happy.” 175

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“And so do you.” Mark nodded. “I’m going to give it a try.” A little while later, Reed came in the front door to get Mark. He was going to drive him to the airport. “Ready?” he asked. Leo got up and hugged his friend again. “Call me, okay? Promise?” Mark nodded. “I will. Be happy,” he said, then looked at Reed. “Both of you.” Reed picked up Mark’s suitcase. Leo went out on the porch and watched as Reed put his arm around Mark and hugged him close. He kissed the top of his head before he released him like one would to do to one’s little brother. Mark turned and waved to Leo before he got into the car. Meggy went running over to the car from where she’d been playing Frisbee with some of the guests and kissed Mark goodbye. Tears stung Leo’s eyes as he watched the car drive away. Meggy came up on the porch. “Why’d he leave?” “It was time.” “Is Reed leaving, too?” Leo smiled. “No. He’s coming back after he drops Mark off. Meggy, Reed and I are together now. We love each other.” He started to laugh because it sounded like the most wonderful thing to ever come out of his mouth. Meggy grinned and hugged him. “You think you deserve a big hunk like that?” “No,” he said, “I don’t deserve him, but I’m keeping him anyway, so paws off.” He cuffed her gently. Later that night after Meggy had gone to sleep, Leo lay in Reed’s arms upstairs in the room he’d occupied since he’d first come here. Reed didn’t want to use the master bedroom, and that 176

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was fine with Leo. He could understand that. He felt a satisfaction he’d never known before as he lay in the dark, listening to Reed’s steady breathing. They hadn’t even made love yet, although he knew they would. It was enough at the moment to have Reed’s strong arms wrapped around him. “You were so tender with Mark today,” Leo told him, tracing his jaw with his finger. “I care about him, you know, in spite of everything. I want him to be happy, Leo. I just can’t be his love.” “No,” Leo sighed, “you can’t be his love because you’re my love.” He smiled at him. “Yes, I’m your love. And I have been since the moment I saw you.” Leo shook his head. “I never even sensed that.” “You were preoccupied with your own heartache, and you already thought you knew all about me.” “I know,” he said softly. “And you are hard to figure out.” “Part of my charm.” He chuckled. Leo kissed him. “Are you worried about Mark?” “A little. You?” “Yeah. I hope he calls Adrian.” “I think he will. On the way to the airport we talked about Adrian. Mark does care about him. He regrets letting him go.” “Good.” “So now,” Reed turned around in the bed and looked him in the eyes, “what should we do after we sell this place, baby?” “I don’t care. I’ll follow you anywhere,” Leo told him, crawling on top of him. Reed grunted, laughing. “Oh yeah? Is that so?” “Um, that’s so, as long as you make love to me the way you 177

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do.” “That shouldn’t be a problem.” Leo stroked his hair and kissed his mouth as Reed moved his hands over Leo’s ass. “What would you say if I bought Mark out, and we stayed right here, didn’t go anywhere?” Leo’s eyes widened. He grinned. “You mean it?” “I don’t need to work anymore, and I’ve travelled enough. I like it here, it’s quiet, and we—” “Yes, yes,” Leo yelped, wildly kissing him. “I dreaded you going away again to see the queen or whoever. I love it here. Oh, Reed, it’s perfect. I can paint. We can go to the city when we want, and travel when it’s low season and…” Leo rolled off of him. “We could remodel a little and change the colors in the—” “Whoa!” Reed dragged him back down beside him. “You can do anything you like as long as you let me get a word in every once in awhile, and…you keep on loving me.” Leo paused and glanced down at him. “Oh, God, Reed, that’s easy. I’ll always love you.” He slid down into his arms with a sigh and felt Reed’s arms tighten around him. He closed his eyes as Reed’s hand gently moved over his body, and finally, as he ceased to think any coherent thoughts, he understood only one thing…the meaning of forever.

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D. J. M ANLY

D. J. Manly says, “I write not only for my own pleasure, but for the pleasure of my readers. I can’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t written and told stories. When I’m not writing, I’m dreaming about writing, doing something wild and adventurous, or trying to make the world a better and more open-minded place to live in. I adore beautiful men, and I know I’m not alone in this! Eroticism between consenting adults, in all its many forms, is the icing on the cake of life!” To find out more about D. J., visit the author’s website at http://www.djmanlyfiction.com.

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