SEEING
THE SUNRISE
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SEEING
THE SUNRISE
JUSTIN LANGER
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First published in 2008 Copyright © Justin Langer 2008 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act. Allen & Unwin 83 Alexander Street Crows Nest NSW 2065 Australia Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100 Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218 Email:
[email protected] Web: www.allenandunwin.com National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry: Langer, Justin, 1970- . Seeing the sunrise. ISBN 978 1 74175 403 2. 1. Langer, Justin, 1970- . 2. Life skills - Anecdotes. 3. Cricket - Australia - Anecdotes. 4. Cricket players Australia - Anecdotes. I. Title.
796.358650994 Internal design by Lisa White Set in 12/14 pt Bembo by Midland Typesetters, Australia Printed by South Wind Productions, Singapore 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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To my mum and dad, and to my grandparents, for their constant love and wisdom
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CONTENTS Prelude MORE THAN A GAME Introduction I AM JUSTIN LANGER 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.
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SEEING THE SUNRISE THE LAW OF ATTRACTION GOALS WITH WINGS A Recipe for Dreamers FOCUS PLANTING THE SEED Three Words SYNERGY Mind Over Matter THE BALL WHITE NOISE Black Noise OUT OF FORM IN FORM SELF-TALK MENTAL TOUGHNESS The Man in the Glass
ix 1 6 13 16 19 20 24 28 30 35 37 42 47 48 54 59 62 68
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13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31.
CONSTANT IMPROVEMENT Two Boys, One Bear COURAGE Discipline and Courage THE TATTOO MAN Simplicity WORRY IMBALANCE BALANCE The Contented Fisherman RESPECT FIRST IMPRESSIONS No Room for Error LEADERSHIP TEAM WORK CRITICS CONQUERING HASTE LUCK HEALTH PERSPECTIVE MAGIC MOMENTS LIFE GOES ON THE PERFECT DAY Tuesdays with Poppy FOR MY KIDS
Acknowledgements
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69 73 74 80 81 85 86 90 96 100 101 107 110 111 117 120 125 129 134 137 141 146 149 156 158 161
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PRELUDE
MORE THAN A GAME ‘I take football very personally. I think it’s an emotional and personal game. I think competitive sport is just that. It’s you versus him. And that brings out, it brings out in me anyway, the really good feeling that you are being tested, mentally and physically. And to win through . . . that tingles the blood . . . the anticipation, the challenge, the testing.’ Ron Barassi, Australian Rules Football icon
Like Australian Rules Football, many people think cricket is just a game. To me, it is so much more than just a game; a large part of what I am today I owe to cricket. The game of cricket has taught me about success and failure, about values and principles, about good and bad and about black and white. Through cricket, I have learned about the sacrifice and commitment required to achieve excellence, about what it takes to reach the top and stay there.Through cricket, I understand vision, leadership and spirit, and the game has given me opportunities to meet people and see ix
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places that have changed my life. Cricket has provided me with opportunities that have exceeded my wildest dreams and confirmed to me the power of self-belief. Cricket has taught me about the value of friendships and about courage, respect, balance and discipline. Of course, I can understand why most people see it as no more than a game. Cricket writer Peter Roebuck once wrote,‘Hell, it is only a game. A bloke armed with a hunk of leather tries to hit three sticks protected by another fellow bearing a lump of wood.’ To me, though, the game has been a faithful teacher of good and bad, and for that I will always be grateful. To have been lucky enough to earn a handsome living by doing something I am passionate about is just the icing on the cake. In my previous book, The Power of Passion, I described the baggy green cap as more than just a piece of cloth. I compared it to the martial artist’s belt, using a passage from a book I’ve quoted from more than once, Joe Hyams’ Zen in the Martial Arts: The beginning student in most martial arts disciplines wears a white belt that, according to tradition, signifies innocence. With the passage of time the belt becomes soiled from handling and use, so the second stage of learning is signified by the brown belt. As more time passes, the belt becomes darker until it is black—the black belt stage. With even more use, the belt becomes frayed, almost white, signifying that the wearer is returning again to innocence—a Zen characteristic of human perfection.
My journey as a cricketer has followed a similar course. As a young boy, or white belt, I began to learn about the basics
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of batting. Just as a novice martial artist learns the basic kicks, punches and fundamentals of defence and attack, I was taught how to play defensive and attacking strokes off the front and back foot. The more I practised, the more I improved. As a result I was able to move through the ranks of junior cricket and into the lofty heights of club cricket. My constant dream was of one day wearing a baggy green cap, just like a young fighter who dreams of wearing a black belt around his waist.Through years of dedicated work and practice, where I absorbed the tricks of the trade like a sponge, I progressed to a green belt. On the day I was given my gold Western Australian cap, I felt the same as the day I was presented with my brown belt in karate. I knew I was receiving these rewards because I had honed my natural talent, shown strength of character and developed an ability to fight. Throughout my journey, each higher level brought new and more difficult challenges. Each Test match broadened my understanding of myself and the game of cricket. I had to strive constantly to improve every aspect of my life and game in order to survive, let alone triumph, in the tough, cut-throat world of Test cricket. Those times when I was knocked down, I had to learn how to get up off the mat. I learned that it is not whether you get knocked down but whether you get back up that makes the difference. For me, my baggy green cap symbolises all those challenges. The sweat, the dust, the blood, the celebrations, the pain, the sacrifice, the effort, the friendships and the lessons—they are all stitched into that small piece of cloth. After 15 years of wear, my cap looks pretty tattered and torn, and it smells horrible. It has never been washed, for the same reason that a high-ranking martial artist will never wash his belt. That belt is a treasure and a symbol of
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everything he knows; his own life and that of his belt are so closely interwoven that under no circumstances would he wash away a single ounce of the belt’s life and character. My cap holds souvenirs of many faraway lands, tells stories of camaraderie and victory, and reminds me of lessons learned from adversity and triumph. It tells the story of a young boy who dared to dream and who wouldn’t give up that dream for anything. My baggy green has the answers as to why cricket is actually so much more than just a game to me. Seeing the Sunrise shares some of these lessons and some of the people who have been an integral part of my journey. I hope you enjoy it.
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INTRODUCTION
I AM JUSTIN LANGER ‘The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field.’ Vince Lombardi, legendary American Football coach
During the writing of The Power of Passion, the publisher, Austin Robertson, who is a good friend of mine, came to me just before the final draft was completed, saying that he was concerned about the introduction. I also had reservations about the introduction, so I was open to his opinion. He told me he thought it made me sound somewhat vain and that I should cut it from the book. Initially, I was happy to accept his guidance, but then my editor, Arthur Stanley, talked me into leaving the introduction as it was. He convinced me that its personal touch would help set the scene for the rest of the book. Four years down the track, and after more than 10,000 books have been sold, I am glad I listened to Arthur. I have been amazed by the number of people who have 1
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commented on that introduction. Perhaps this was because they read only the first few pages, but I hope it was because they enjoyed the rawness of my feelings. The introduction was called ‘I am Justin Langer’. Except for the fact that I am now a father of four, rather than three, it reads like this: I am a professional cricket player who has been fortunate to be a part of a great Australian cricket team. I feel like I could run through a brick wall when I am wearing the baggy green cap. I have learned my best life lessons in times of adversity and disappointment. I am glad now that I have fought through these tough times in my life. I struggle coming to terms with other people’s poverty and sickness. I admire anyone who gives 100 per cent and leads by example. I believe loyalty is worth more than any money in the world. I know living in a comfort zone is dangerous and unfruitful. I believe in respect, discipline, love, passion and hard work. I am a happily married father of three beautiful daughters. I know life is worth living for these four heavenly angels. I know self-belief is the essence of personal progress. I know my family is the most important thing in the world.
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I have many good friends and a few best ones. I don’t like ignorance, quitters or disrespect. I know single-minded pursuit is rewarding. I believe in the power and mystery of God. I often think about the meaning of life. I love kids and the freedom of youth. I think flexibility in life is important. I love watching the sun rise and set. I believe in the power of dreaming. I enjoy being part of a team. I AM JUSTIN LANGER.
Over the years, I have come to realise that one of the most important aspects of human development is the concept of knowing yourself. You are at your best when you understand exactly what it is that makes you tick. At this point, you have found your recipe for success, but the trick is having the courage and wisdom to stick with the formula through the good and bad times. The same is true of relationships. How can you truly know and love your partner, children or friends if you do not truly love and know yourself? I once came across a Zen saying: ‘The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence.’ I am sure this is true, but if you do not truly understand and know yourself it will be almost impossible for you to be at peace with yourself. No matter what you do in life, you will never get better at it until you can admit to
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yourself exactly where you are in your life at that moment when you first set out to improve. When I sat down to write ‘I am Justin Langer’, I found it good therapy because it made me think about who I really was and what I believed in. Now, four years on, revising and broadening that introduction has given me a set of principles and values on which I have based this book, Seeing the Sunrise. Here’s what else I found out about myself when I sat down and gave it some more thought . . . I know that the best thing in the world is to play and win. The second best thing in the world is to play and lose, as long as you are still playing. I have learned that it is not what happens to you, but how you deal with what happens to you that makes all the difference. I know that the first time I saw the eyes of my first-born child I understood the definition of unconditional love. A Vegemite sandwich with family and friends is a million times better than crayfish and caviar with strangers. I believe that if I know who I am and my friends know who I am then this is all that really matters. I believe that unless you walk your talk then you are not much more than a liar. I believe in the words mens sana in corpore sano— ‘a healthy mind in a healthy body’. I believe you will regret the things you don’t do in life a lot more than the things you do . . .
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When I stopped this process, only because I had to hand over a draft manuscript, my set of beliefs had grown to more than five pages. I find that writing my thoughts down on paper helps me to understand myself better and to recognise what is most important to me in my life. I will share some more of these thoughts near the end of this book, in Chapter 30, but this is how my list concluded: I know life isn’t always fair. I love my pop’s pickles. I hate hangovers. I love my mates. I wouldn’t be dead for quids. I AM STILL JUSTIN LANGER . . .
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1
SEEING THE SUNRISE
‘The most pathetic person in the world is one who has sight but no vision.’ Helen Keller
His eyes said it all. It was 5.30 a.m., but they bored through me like those of a boxer just before an important bout. Sitting behind the wheel of his car, a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth and the smoke forming clouds of haze in the cold dawn air, there was no doubt he meant business. This was no title fight, but those stern eyes and the stony expression that went with them underlined the strength of his purpose. For the first time that morning my heart missed a beat. I have always thought that the look in a person’s eyes can tell a thousand stories, and that morning the story was one of intensity and purpose, coupled with a strange sort of love. I might still have been half-asleep, but those eyes told me this wasn’t going to be your average morning. My grandfather wasn’t about to step into the ring; the fag and the grey, thinning hair gave that away. He was, though, about to teach me one of the most important lessons of my life. 6
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‘Pop’ had always been my absolute hero. As I was growing up, he was someone to look up to, admire and love. He made the best boiled eggs and toast soldiers in the world, but he was also an ex-boxer, publican and tough old man who to me looked as strong and uncompromising as any man who’d ever lived. His heart was soft but his eyes hard, and on this particular morning I had never seen him look so serious. I was scared of heights. In fact, I was petrified. Panic took hold as soon as my feet were anywhere above ground level. Pop had recognised this phobia and had told me that one day he would ‘cure’ me of my fear. That Saturday morning, there had been a loud knock on the front door. Like any teenage boy, I found the very idea of waking up and getting out of my warm bed at 5.00 a.m. unthinkable. The initial banging on the door might have woken me, but it was the footsteps creeping towards my bedroom that had the alarm bells ringing. When I opened my eyes, Pop was standing at the edge of my bed beckoning me to wake up and get dressed.While my body was dragging itself out of sleep, my mind was racing. What was Pop doing in my room so early in the day? Gradually, I focused my tired eyes on Pop’s loving but stern face. When our eyes met, he explained that this morning was as good a time as any to cure me of my fear of heights. ‘What?’ was my initial reaction, ‘What are you talking about?’ This problem of mine had been bugging him, he explained. It was time for me to trust him and come with him right away, before it was too late. ‘Too late for what?’ was my obvious reply, but one ignored by Pop.
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‘Get dressed, I’ll see you in the car.’ After I had struggled into a T-shirt and pair of tracksuit pants, I made my way outside to find those eyes staring through the front windscreen. Pop was on a mission. It was still dark and cold, but after a nod to each other we were off. For the next 15 minutes we drove towards the centre of town in silence. Pop must have sensed my discomfort, but still he stared straight ahead, quiet determination etched on his face. Finally, we pulled up outside a construction site which had a large sign out front: ‘KEEP OUT— CONSTRUCTION IN PROGRESS’. That early on a Saturday morning, there wasn’t a soul to be seen. ‘Come with me,’ Pop said, as he moved towards a dusty concrete doorway. My apprehension was growing by the second. The sight of this ghostly, 20-storey structure, combined with the realisation that my grandfather was going to ‘cure’ me of my fear of heights, made me want to run from that construction site as fast as my teenage legs would take me. My body’s ‘flight or fight’ mechanism was starting to kick in; only the sheer respect I had for my grandfather kept me following him. Like a sullen but obedient puppy I followed Pop through the entrance and up the first flight of stairs. On our way up to the first landing I meekly suggested that it might be possible for him to cure me of my fear from the ground floor. Shaking his head, he slowly but firmly told me that this was a lesson I had to experience first-hand. I had to do exactly as he said, if I was to grow and develop from this day forward. ‘You never really know the taste of sugar until you try it,’ he said. ‘You can be told what it’s like, but unless you taste it, you can’t really understand it. Today is no
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different—you won’t be cured unless you face your fear front on and experience everything the fear is teaching you about yourself.’ As scared as I could ever remember being, I reluctantly followed Pop to the first landing. The stairwell was open to the elements and my heart was racing as we climbed towards the second . . . third . . . fourth . . . fifth level of the construction. As we got further and further from the ground my heart was thumping so hard it felt like it would burst through my chest and land on the grimy floor. The palms of my hands were as clammy as a smelly old cricket sock after training. Every upward step turned my legs to jelly. By the time we reached the tenth floor, my head was aching like a sprained ankle and my mouth was as dry as desert sand. By the fifteenth floor, sweat was pouring out of every pore in my body. Demons were crawling around my mind, gorging themselves on my fear. During the final stages of this nightmarish climb, I went from holding onto the walls with both hands to crawling on all fours to slithering like a snake, my chest not leaving the cold concrete steps. When we finally reached the top floor, I came face to face with an open landing whose brick walls were no more than a metre high. Pop reached down, grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet. As I stood up, my stomach was churning and I was almost overcome by nausea. ‘Pull yourself together,’ was all the relief Pop offered me. ‘I want you to muster all the courage you have and walk over to the edge.’ ‘You must be kidding,’ I said. My world was spinning out of control. As only Pop could, he held me by the shoulders and looked straight into my eyes.
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‘Do you trust me, son?’ Of course I trusted him. But I didn’t trust myself and the death I was sure was waiting for me when I fell over that edge. ‘Take one step at a time,’ Pop ordered. ‘Go over to the edge of the building and listen for my command.’ There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I crept like a snail towards that brick wall. After what seemed like forever, I made it. Pop asked me to grab the wall and look down at the ground. I held onto that wall until my knuckles were as white as winter snow and my muscles as tense as a tightrope. Somehow I turned my head downwards. After a couple of seconds that felt more like an eternity, I turned around and was again on all fours, creeping away from the edge, ready to throw up everywhere. Before long, Pop was standing over me, asking how I felt. ‘Just like I always do every time I’m off the ground,’ I responded. ‘Like I’m going to die.’ ‘Okay, now I want you to get up and walk over to that edge,’ he said, pointing to the other side of the building. ‘And again, listen to my voice.’ I was almost crying. I asked Pop if he had listened to what I had just said; if he realised what he was doing to me. I felt I was being tortured, and the worst thing was that it wasn’t by the enemy, but by someone I loved and respected as much as anyone in this world. It was the ultimate betrayal. Pop begged me to trust him, telling me that my ordeal was almost over. This one last effort would be worth all the pain. Fuelled by my anger, and determination to bring this nightmare to an end, I eventually dragged myself to my feet and headed towards the eastern edge. The same intense fear ran through my nerves as I held onto the brickwork as
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tightly as a beggar holds onto his last penny. This time, as I tried to summon the courage to look down, Pop’s voice rang through my ears . . . ‘Justin, this time don’t look down. Look up.’ I raised my eyes and the next moment I was gazing out at the magnificent red, orange, pink and apricot colours of the rising sun. It was as if I’d never seen a sunrise before; I was completely awestruck. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I stood spellbound, looking out into the distance, admiring this remarkable view of what was for me a whole ‘new world’. All too soon a light touch woke me from my trance. Pop was standing next to me, asking me how I felt. I wasn’t crawling on the ground like a scared baby. I was standing upright, feeling relaxed and cherishing the moment. Instead of being afraid for my life I felt secure and safe, free of the nightmare that had been haunting me such a short time before. With his arm around me, Pop explained that he had not only cured my fear of heights but he had also taught me one of the most important lessons that I would ever learn: You must always look to where you want to go, rather than where you don’t want to go. By looking down at the ground all you were seeing was the long fall, a heavy landing and the pain that comes with such a fall. If you can learn to always look where you want to go—in other words, look at the sunrise rather than the ground below—then you will find that all of your fears, not only the fear of heights, will disappear forever.
Pop died a few years after our visit to the ‘construction site of doom’. While I miss him, his spirit lives within me
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because I think of his lesson nearly every day.There is rarely a day when negative thoughts don’t enter my mind, but when I am confronted by my fears, my demons, I remind myself of my grandfather’s words: ‘See the sunrise, son, see the sunrise.’
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2
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION ‘A man who has attained mastery of an art reveals it in his every action.’ Samurai maxim
Without knowing it, my Pop was teaching me about the ‘law of attraction’. Commonly defined, the law of attraction describes ‘people experiencing the corresponding manifestations of their predominant thoughts, feelings, words, and actions’. The theory is that we have direct control over reality and our lives through the way we think. While a lot of people associate such a concept with New Age or positive thinking, I am convinced that what has happened in my life until now has been directly associated with what has been going on in my mind. What I have learned is that the human mind doesn’t know the difference between a negative picture and a positive picture; it only knows the messages and signals that I am giving it. The picture that I paint of where I want to go in life is exactly where the universe will conspire to take me. A great example of the law of attraction is the journey of my cricket career. My life ambition was to play cricket 13
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for Australia. Over the last 14 years there were times when I was in the team and other times when I was not. Looking back, I am certain the periods when I was dropped and, conversely, the times when I was selected, were products of my thinking. The first time I wore my baggy green cap, against the West Indies in Adelaide in 1992–93, was the realisation of a youthful dream. Three months later, fearful thoughts of losing my position manifested into reality when I was dropped from the Australian squad for the 1993 Ashes tour. Over time, the dominant thought or image of me regaining my place in the team tipped the scales back in my favour and through hard work and perseverance I was selected again. At the time I was dropped in 2001, my worry about losing my position in the team and the ramifications of such an outcome had clouded my thinking for at least 12 months before it actually happened. The fear of loss had become the dominant thought and guess what eventually happened? Once I was dropped, those fears disappeared and were replaced again with a strong determination to get back into the team. Bob Doyle, the creator of the Wealth Beyond Reason program, says: ‘The law of attraction doesn’t care whether you perceive something to be good or bad, or whether you don’t want it or whether you do want it. It’s responding to your thoughts. So if you’re looking at a mountain of debt, feeling terrible about it, that’s the signal you’re putting out to the universe. “I feel really bad because of all this debt I’ve got.” You’re just affirming it to yourself. That’s what you’re going to get more of.’ This is a challenging concept, but I believe the reality is that you move towards whatever you focus on. When
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I am batting at the crease, if I think about the ball hitting me, I am thinking about getting hurt. Invariably, I will be hit because I am not focusing on what I need to focus on: hitting the ball. If I devote all my attention to hitting the ball, all my fears will be eliminated because I am focusing on what I want to do, and I have no time or energy for my fears. In this sense, hitting a cricket ball is no different to anything else in life. My former fear of heights is no different to any other fear of failure. Everyone is scared of something; I believe that having the courage to find a strategy to release that fear is the key. In my mind, I paint a picture of where I want to go rather than where I don’t want to go. By focusing on that perfect picture, I don’t have time to worry about the alternative negative path my mind could easily retreat to. Painting a positive picture in my mind also allows me to overcome obstacles and distractions. Regularly reassessing where I want to go with my life allows me to deal more gracefully with disruptions, and focusing on the positive allows me to see problems either as a blip on the radar or an opportunity to learn.
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3
GOALS WITH WINGS
‘What you focus on in your life grows and what you think about expands. And the things you invest your intention in, grow in importance . . .’ Anon
I am told that, as a young boy, I would inform anyone who would listen that one day I would play cricket for Australia. Every summer, I would run around the backyard with my brothers, pretending to be one of my cricket heroes. If these champions had the ability to play fantastic shots or bowl like the wind, why couldn’t I? On Boxing Day 1981, the great Dennis Lillee famously bowled Viv Richards with the last ball of the day’s play at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. I was watching on television, and straightaway my 11-year-old imagination went wild.All I could think about was the dream of emulating one of my two favourite Gladiators: Viv or Dennis. To this day, I can still see Dennis running in to bowl. I can see Viv’s dismissal and I can see 10 jubilant Australian cricketers thumping Dennis on the back. I can see the crowd roaring in the background and I can feel the good old-fashioned Aussie 16
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mateship of the players. Most importantly, in my memory they are all wearing their baggy green caps. That one image of celebration and camaraderie still conjures up strong memories and emotions for me. For years I wondered what it must have been like to be one of those Australian players, to experience the smell of the MCG grass, the noise of the crowd, the excitement and joy of the moment. That moment in time gave me a direction for where I wanted to go. Yes, it was a boyhood dream, but even today the events of that Boxing Day Test sum up why I love and play the game. The contest, the tension, the celebration, the joy, the fame, the atmosphere and—most importantly—the mateship and the baggy green cap motivate me every day. On the days when I question why I put up with the struggle, the disappointments, the criticism and the tension that are a part of sporting life, it is still that image which pulls me out of the abyss of negativity and self-doubt. It helps me to re-focus my mind on where I want to go and what I want to achieve. I don’t know what I would do if I lost the ability to dream. Dreaming of where I want to go in my life and what I want to achieve inspires the direction I will take. Someone once said that ‘every sculpture or work of art starts as a dream or picture in the mind of the artist’; the same applies to my day-to-day life. Steve Waugh often told me how he would visualise a score on the scoreboard before a Test had even started. It was as though he had completed his innings before he went out to bat. Picturing and feeling the score beforehand enabled him to achieve exactly what he wanted during the match. Justin Hogan, a friend of mine who is a sports psychologist, once described it this way:
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Having the outcome or goal in mind allows you to make the visual/experiential connection between the outcome/ goal and the physical feeling required, the actual process, to get to the outcome/goal you have in your mind. It is not seeing the picture as if you were watching; it is you actually experiencing the moment before it actually happens. In cricket terms, it is the smell of the grass, the heat in the air, the relaxed muscles of your body, the energy of each shot, the dampness of your perspiration, your mild anxiety, the colours and noise of the crowd. You see and feel the ball onto the bat and see it racing away for runs, just as you see and feel the tightness and control of a defensive shot against a very good ball. In other words, the most powerful form of dreaming or visualising is not as if you are watching a video of yourself but actually being intimately a part of the image, by feeling all the physical and mental experiences associated with peak performance.
I’ve found this form of dreaming beneficial in a number of ways. It allows me to go into a game with a positive and confident air, which in itself often leads to success. An imaginary score can spur me on during an innings, especially when I get tired or go through a tough spell. If I fall just short of the goal or target I have set for myself, I can still guarantee that I have done pretty well anyway. Finally—and this is a good enough reason on its own— dreaming is simply a great thing to do. To live a moment in your mind, to have total control over what is going to happen, to paint the perfect picture and live and feel every beautiful emotion that goes with that success, doesn’t sound too bad to me.
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A RECIPE FOR DREAMERS Take one dream. Dream it in detail. Put it in your own hands. See its final outcome clearly in your mind. Mix it with a little effort and add a generous portion of self-discipline. Flavour it with a wholesome pinch of ambition. Stir briskly with confidence until the mixture becomes clear, the doubt separated from the resolution. Bake at an even temperature in a moderate mind until the dream rises and is firm to the touch. Decorate with individuality. Cut into generous portions and serve with justifiable pride. Anon
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4
FOCUS
‘The heights by great men reached and kept Were not attained by sudden flight, But they, while their companions slept, Were toiling upward in the night . . .’ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, ‘The Ladder of St Augustine’
Muhammad Ali is famous for saying, ‘Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.’ What a lot of people don’t know is Ali continued by saying, ‘Your hands can’t hit what your eyes can’t see.’ Towards the end of high school I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life—except, of course, to wear that baggy green cap. As a teenager, though, I thought such a feat would never happen, so I was looking for the next best option. One of my teachers took me aside one day and told me a story that I have remembered ever since. Imagine you are a brilliant archer. I am talking about an archer with the ability to win an Olympic gold medal. You are so good you can shoot an apricot off your mother’s head, not just the apple that William Tell was able to split. In front of a huge audience of people, I take you out onto the archery 20
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range, walk you 75 metres from a huge target and ask you to shoot an arrow straight through the bullseye. Knowing how good you are, you look at me, smile, take out an arrow and to the delight of the crowd shoot an arrow right through the bullseye. No problem. Now, seeing how easily you did that, I tell you that I’m going to make it a little harder for you. I blindfold you. Then I spin you around a few times and ask you to hit the target. This time, you don’t smile. You start getting agitated. You ask questions, you begin to perspire, your hands are clammy, your respiration increases dramatically, demons enter your mind and you start to doubt your ability. The chances of you hitting the target are now minimal. You start making excuses and all of a sudden you have lost control. When you finally shoot the arrow, you miss the target completely and the crowd laughs. You have failed, even though you know that you are brilliant at what you do. Now all you can hear is the laughing of the crowd. Your self-confidence is taking a beating as doubts surface like never before. At this point, I confirm that you did miss the target but then I tell you that I think you can hit it with a second attempt. You shake your head, but after some encouragement you decide to give it a go. Critically, this time you decide to use the information gained from your first blindfolded attempt. You ask me questions that will improve your chances of success. How much did I miss the target by? Did I make the distance? Then you ask me to point you in the right direction. You take a hold of yourself by taking a few deep breaths. While you still feel a little nervous, you feel much more confident and prepared than the last time, because now you have at least an idea where it is you need to aim.
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Taking a few more calming breaths, you finally draw back the arrow, pause and then let it go. For a few seconds, you wait for the response of the crowd, who eventually roar their approval. Relieved, you pull off the blindfold to see that the arrow has hit the target, but missed the bullseye. You are happy that you have pleased the crowd and hit the target, but in your heart you know that you always aim for the bullseye. Determined to finish the task properly, you ask for another chance. This time, you are not blindfolded, but in order to keep it a challenge we move you back to the 125-metre mark. You take aim. You can see the target as clear as day. The bullseye is flaming red and you are in total control. You draw the string back and in your own time let the arrow go. You watch the arrow spin straight towards your target and split the bullseye in half. The crowd erupts and you are thrilled and excited at having achieved your goal.
My teacher finished the story by saying, ‘It doesn’t really matter what your target is, as long as you have one. If you don’t know what you want to do, then set yourself small targets and the big ones will look after themselves. Be bold and mighty forces will guide you in the right direction.’ In essence, the story of the archer can apply to anyone. The bullseye can be the university degree a student is aiming for; the flash bike for which a child mows the lawn and saves their pocket money; or the holiday the family works hard to enjoy. Every goal is a target to aim at. If you don’t have a clear picture of that goal and how you are going to hit it, you are leaving it to chance. It’s like trying to find a strange suburb without a road map.You might get there by chance but you are much more likely to drive around in circles until you run out of petrol, get lost or give up out of sheer frustration.
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For years, I could see myself wearing that baggy green cap. I imagined myself playing for Australia in a Boxing Day Test match at the MCG. I dreamed of being a professional sportsman and playing like my childhood heroes.The baggy green cap was the target at which I was aiming. At times, however, it was difficult to see that target.When this happened, it took patience, experience, single-minded focus and courage for me to persevere, to re-focus on my mind’s bullseye. In times of disappointment and hardship, when the pressure was on or when I became physically or mentally tired, my target became unclear, even invisible. During these times, if I could re-focus on my target there was little room for the twin enemies—negative thinking and poor self-talk—to enter my mind-set. I’m sure the same process will continue to work well for me throughout my life. I need to roll up my sleeves and work hard at getting all the basics right, ask questions and lean on my mentors for advice. Most importantly, I have to keep my eyes open and my targets clear, always remembering that the hands can’t hit what the eyes can’t see.
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5
PLANTING THE SEED
‘Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problem of the human race.’ Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States
John Buchanan was the Australian cricket team’s coach from 1999 to 2007. In my view his greatest contribution to the team’s success was his incredible foresight and the courage he then displayed in getting the team to embrace his vision. Every effective leader—whether the coach of a team or the CEO of a company—needs a vision of where they want to go. Without that vision, they lack direction and motivation, two key ingredients in the quest for success. Coaching can be a thankless task. It has been said that coaches don’t win, players win. A coach might not be as stupid as people say when the team loses, but nor is the coach that smart when the team wins. A coach’s role is to 24
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improve the player, to have him or her playing at or close to his or her ability. John’s tall, lanky frame contains a burning desire for progress and improvement. His catchcry is, ‘It’s not how good you are that matters, but how good you can be’. John’s vision was often the target of ridicule and resistance, but—as is the way with many great visionaries—this was simply the price he had to pay to see the level of expectation and achievement within his team raised to an all-time high. It’s been said that the three prices for success are sacrifice, disappointment and envy, and it would be fair to say that John paid some hefty bills throughout much of his time as Australian coach. Sacrifice comes in the form of hard work—devoting yourself to the task means that other parts of your life have to take a back seat if you want to taste those brief and elusive moments of success. Disappointment is a constant enemy. Envy is the root of the ‘tall poppy syndrome’ that has been part of Australian society for many years. We should remember, though, that, as Bryce Courtenay wrote in A Recipe for Dreaming, ‘when we chop down all the poppies, only weeds remain’. Despite the high price John had to pay, I am sure those magical moments when his vision became a reality made it all worthwhile. One of those moments was on 10 April 2006, when the Australian one-day team was playing a limited-overs match against South Africa in Johannesburg. I wasn’t in the team that day, but I was lucky to be in the dressing room when Australia became the first team to go past the magical figure of 400 runs in a one-day international innings. For me, the greatest significance of this achievement was much deeper than the individual brilliance evident in such an effort.
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For years, John had been encouraging the one-day batting line-up to aim for such a score. He would plant and re-plant the seed that such a milestone could be conquered, but only if the team sought constantly to aim for the stars. With statistics, theories and gut feeling, he would show his players not only how it could be done but why this particular team should be the one to do it . . . Let’s not stand still. I don’t particularly care what we have achieved, or how many trophies we have won, or how people are raving about your success, let’s always look to improve.
Outside the Australian dressing room, such an attitude could have been met with scepticism and resistance, because to meet such a challenge means hard work and a selfless acceptance of where the team is aiming. For any team to achieve the seemingly impossible, its members need to ‘break the mould’ and play well out of their comfort zones. That day in Johannesburg, the Australian team did just that. The entertainment was extraordinary, as was the excitement within the team when the milestone was achieved. Amid the hugging and backslapping came the realisation that it was true: if you have faith in the vision, and ignore the barriers or limitations that others try to put in your way, with perseverance you can achieve anything. What was even more extraordinary about that day was that the South African team not only also went past 400, but scored four more runs than Australia’s total of 4–434 to win the game and break a world record that had been set only hours before. In the most incredible one-day international ever played, the impossible was achieved not once, but twice. Who would have thought?
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John Buchanan, for one! Over the years I had often heard ‘Buck’ ask the deceptively simple question, ‘Why not? Why can’t we score 400 runs in a one-day innings?’ He also asked, ‘Why can’t we win every single Test match we play?’‘Why can’t we play above anything that has ever been achieved before?’ ‘Why can’t you score runs every time you bat?’ ‘Why can’t you train your mind to achieve the improbable or the seemingly impossible?’ There is absolutely no reason why Buck’s visions can’t be achieved, or anyone else’s, for that matter. Any radical progression or change takes perseverance, courage and strong leadership to sell your vision to the people who can actually make it happen. A quick look back in time bears this out. History is littered with examples of the seemingly impossible becoming reality. A perfect example is the breaking of track and field’s mythical barrier, the four-minute mile. Scientists and physiologists said it couldn’t be done, and even the athletes who were ‘hovering’ above the figure seemed to believe that it was impossible. Fortunately, Roger Bannister and John Landy believed differently and, as they say, the rest is history. Buck’s friend and mentor, rugby league coaching legend Wayne Bennett, describes it like this: One thing I have learned in life is perseverance. Most importantly, you need to know where you are going, but secondly, you have to persevere . . . So often we are so close to our objectives, only to walk away. Pioneers Burke and Wills died of thirst not knowing there was water over the next hill. At the time, we think the hard thing is to walk away. We assure ourselves of that, but it’s not. The hard thing is to stay, to persevere.
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Over the years, Buck could easily have walked away from his visions and won a few more popularity contests, but I will always respect his perseverance and courage, which kept him challenging those of us in the Australian cricket team to take things to a new level. Why not get better?
THREE WORDS It can take courage to achieve goals at a personal level as well. I was sitting in a bar one night in Brisbane with my good friend and fellow Western Australian, Tom Moody. We had just beaten Queensland in a game of cricket and were celebrating with a few beers. As the bottles of Corona were being consumed the conversation turned to our family and particularly to our fathers. ‘Have you ever told your Dad you love him?’ I quizzed Tommy. ‘No, I don’t think I have,’ came his reply. As the night went on we had a laugh about how hard it is to tell the person who means the most to us that we love them. Although we both knew we did, we were also aware just how tough it is to actually say the words. By about eleven o’clock, Perth time, and with plenty of beer to enhance my courage, I jumped up off my bar stool and pronounced to Tom, ‘There is no time like the present, mate.’ ‘What are you talking about?’ was his baffled retort. ‘I am going to tell him right now.’ ‘Tell who what?’
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‘I am going to ring my dad and tell him I love him,’ I said boldly. With that, I left the bar and found a telephone box. Without a moment’s hesitation, I dropped a coin in the slot and dialled the number. But as I listened to the ringing tone blasting through the phone, I suddenly noticed that my heart was pounding. ‘Hello,’ came the muffled, sleepy answer from the other end of the line. After a very quick explanation about my recent epiphany, I told Dad I loved him. With that, he responded, ‘I love you too, son.’ I felt an amazing sense of liberation the moment this short conversation concluded. It was as though I had broken the ice with my best mate by saying three simple words. Often when I see Tommy, I ask him if he has ‘broken the ice’ yet. With that, he smiles and remembers the night in Brisbane when his little mate took a big step forward in his life by doing the hardest thing, even though it should be one of the easiest things in the world to do.
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6
SYNERGY
‘The pain of discipline is nothing like the pain of disappointment.’ Anon
For years, I used to have a piece of paper on which I’d drawn four boxes. Underneath was a quote: ‘The pain of discipline is nothing like the pain of disappointment.’ I’d laminated the sheet of paper and taped it on the wall of my shower so that I could see it every day I was at home. Above each box was a word: PHYSICAL, MENTAL, TECHNICAL and SPIRITUAL. The boxes were empty, so I could give them a mental tick or a cross when I asked myself how I was travelling. For example, if I was having a lean run with the bat, I would look closely at various aspects of my technique—how my feet were moving, my grip on the bat, my weight distribution and my balance in my stance. If I could tick this box, I moved on; if I couldn’t, I’d commit to putting more time and effort into this area of my game. If my technique was in good shape I would then look at the mental side of my game. Into this box fell concentration, dealing with distractions and my focus on my goals. Again, 30
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if I felt focused and committed, I moved on to the next box. If not, I’d spend more time reassessing my goals or talking to friends who were sports psychologists or trusted mentors who could help me re-focus on my goals and the ball. Next, the physical box. An easy way to tick this was to look at my skinfold measurements or simply to stand on the scales. Of course, there are many other aspects of physical fitness, but these two readings gave me a pretty good idea about how my diet was affecting my body and whether I was putting enough work into keeping in top shape. Even just looking at myself in the mirror or being honest about how I am feeling can give me a strong indication as to how my body is travelling. One of my favourite sayings is the famous Latin quotation from the Roman poet Juvenal, ‘mens sana in corpore sano’, which translated perfectly means ‘a healthy mind in a healthy body’, the obvious implication being that one goes with the other. If I couldn’t tick that box, I knew that I needed to put more time and energy into my physical wellbeing. Finally, I looked at the spiritual box. For me, this box dealt with my frame of mind. I know that if I am in a happy frame of mind then my spirit will be burning brightly. I’d ask myself how happy I was feeling in myself. If I was feeling strong in spirit, I’d tick the box and move on; if not, I’d work out what I had to do to change my frame of mind so that I could move forward. For me, it was important to have all the ‘boxes of success’ ticked, or at least to be heading in a positive rather than a negative direction. I have learned that it takes a great deal of discipline and focus to keep on top of everything, to keep all the boxes ticked. Discipline is not a popular discussion topic. The very word is usually associated with discomfort, and human beings
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like to feel comfortable. Most people are content to live within their comfort zone and that’s their right, but the most successful people are those who are willing to take that step further and live disciplined lifestyles, in one way or another. Leading a disciplined lifestyle doesn’t mean you have to seek enlightenment by meditating in freezing cold water in the mountains. Discipline doesn’t even entail a particular sacrifice, except perhaps the wasted time and energy you were giving to pursuits that would not help you achieve a fuller, happier life. It takes discipline to keep your mind strong and be aware of the dangers of negative thoughts. It takes discipline to monitor your diet, on a daily basis if necessary. It takes discipline to work tirelessly on improving your skills, and it takes discipline to make the effort to be happy, as strange as that may sound. John Buchanan used to tell us that his definition of a champion revolved around someone’s ability to perform at a consistently high standard for a long period of time, and also his or her ability to endure at the top level. The same applied to a champion team: it’s one thing to achieve a oneoff result, quite another to repeat the achievement over and over and over again. No one can attain excellence in any field without a synergy between every facet of their life. This is why I have found the ‘boxes theory’ so worthwhile. That old piece of paper may no longer be stuck to my shower wall, but its principles remain part of my life. Many people think the game of cricket is ‘all in your head’. Some even try to put a percentage value on the mental as opposed to the technical contributions to successful performance.While this makes for good discussion, I would argue that each of the four components—physical, mental, technical and spiritual—is equally important.
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In a perfect world, technique and concentration would always work in synergy, but self-help maxims such as ‘the harder I work the luckier I get’ are based in everyday reality. The more time and effort you put into your physical, mental, technical, and spiritual skills, the more likely you are to succeed. There have been many times when I looked at those boxes and realised I was falling down in one particular area. The boxes won’t work for you unless you can look at yourself in the mirror and evaluate honestly where you are. Without this blunt self-assessment it is easy to lose direction. Look at what happened when I was dropped from the Australian team in 2001. I went about regaining my place in the team like a man possessed. I trained physically harder than ever and spent hours honing my technique in the nets, using the bowling machine and the coaches’ throwing arms. The physical and technical boxes were marked with double ticks. There is an old Chinese saying: ‘Control your emotion or it will control you’. Unfortunately, I hadn’t dealt with the mental anguish of being dropped. I was angry, disappointed, frustrated—anything but at ease with myself. There were no ticks in my spiritual and mental boxes, so I wasn’t moving forward. Hard as I was working, my concentration was suffering because I was being distracted by these emotions. My performance went from bad to worse. I was giving myself no chance to relax and find the flow, rhythm and balance so vital to batting success. There were big crosses in my mental and spiritual boxes, and it was a horrible time in my life. I was in England, angry and very lonely. My family was back in Australia, feeling the strain. There were times when
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I just wanted to get on the next plane home and quit. This emotional war inside me was proving to be a much greater battle than any physical training I was enduring. I felt hard done by and betrayed by the selectors, and as a result I was building barriers that began to seem insurmountable. It was as if I had an emotional cancer that was eating me alive. Every failure was another hammer blow, smiling felt like a chore, and even talking was a battle because I felt like I would spew out nothing but negativity if I opened my mouth. Mentally and spiritually, I was in a very dark place. Thankfully, at the end of another day of disappointment, coach John Buchanan and vice-captain Adam Gilchrist convinced me to have a drink with them at the hotel bar. Initially, I was apprehensive because I felt I didn’t need anyone’s help—even though it was quite obvious that I did. For a couple of hours I was given the opportunity to pour out my feelings, and after plenty of swearing and philosophising I felt a sense of freedom. At last, I had let out the emotions that were haunting me. At the end of the night, John gave me a hug and encouraged me to hang in there and trust that everything would work out for the best. And they did. That night I rang home and continued to let go of my emotions. The following morning, my wife Sue booked a flight to England and within 48 hours she and my baby Sophie were with me in the UK. At last, the dark mist was clearing. One day at a time I started to head closer to ticking the neglected boxes of spirit and mind. From that experience I learned that the mental and spiritual boxes are often the toughest ones to master. But, if you do get the synergy flowing between all four areas, you can achieve miracles. In the case of the 2001 Ashes
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series I went from the worst and darkest time of my life to the best, by identifying what I had to do to move forward. The hard work on my fitness and technique, together with a freer, more relaxed attitude and renewed sense of focus, combined to produce the most successful period of my career. The lesson learned was a tough one, but for me it helped reinforce the value of finding synergy in my life.
MIND OVER MATTER At a dinner one night, I was talking about mental strength with the Australian professional golfer Lyndsay Stephen. What Lyndsay had to say made me think. It is all well and good to say it is all in your head. But I would rather take a golfer with a perfect technique who is mentally a little weaker than a golfer who is mentally very strong with a poor technique. Surprised, I asked Lyndsay for his reasons. A golfer with an excellent technique will hit most balls down the middle of the fairway and as a result will have half a chance of reaching the green. Doing this over and over gives them the opportunity to build their confidence. With confidence and a sound technique they will give themselves the chance for consistent success. Conversely, a player who has great powers of concentration and self-belief and is basically considered a mentally tough person, but who only hits half their
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balls down the centre of the fairway, is going to do it tough. They will always be ‘chasing their tail’ until they perfect their technique. It doesn’t matter how good your mental game is if you are sitting in the rough or behind a tree every second or third time you hit the ball.
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7
THE BALL
‘For the uncontrolled there is no wisdom. For the uncontrolled there is no concentration, and for him without concentration, there is no peace. And for the unpeaceful how can there ever be happiness?’ The Bhagavad Gita
As a professional sportsman, the concept of concentration fascinates me. Mastery of the mind is the greatest challenge in any pursuit. One Saturday afternoon more than a few summers back, I was playing a game of cricket at Abbett Park for Scarborough, my home club in Perth. At the time, I was looking to make a name for myself in the ranks of club and State cricket. After enduring a painfully boring and hard-working innings against one of the State’s best bowlers, dispirited and exhausted I wandered up to the favourite viewing area of some of our diehard supporters. Among them were two of my friends,Victor Smith and ‘Noddy’ Holder. Most weekends would find these guys on the benches beside the next-door lawn bowling greens, looking down on the cricket action being played out on the park below. 37
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Having these guys watching my game was a huge boost for me and over the years it definitely helped my development as a cricketer. Victor, the sports and clinical psychologist, and Noddy, the batting coach, would open a cold beer and take in the performances of the players of the Scarborough Cricket Club. Never afraid to provide a critique, they have been great mentors and coaches to me and many of my team-mates. On this particular Saturday, I was about to be taught one of the most valuable lessons of my career. Walking up to Noddy and Vic, I described how badly I had played and began to question almost everything about my game. After a few minutes, Vic motioned to me to be quiet. Then he asked me what I had been thinking about while I was batting. ‘Well,’ I said, ‘for the last few weeks I have been trying to work on my “initial movement”. I was thinking about moving my left foot into position as the bowler was letting go of the ball.’ ‘That explains it all,’ replied Vic simply. I was a bit confused, until Vic continued: ‘If you are thinking about your feet, how can you possibly have your mind on the only thing that really matters: the ball?’ ‘You have to give the ball 100 per cent of your attention as the bowler is about to let go of the ball,’ he continued.‘Not 90, 80 or 50 per cent, but 100 per cent of your attention. This is what concentration is about. Until you grasp this, you are going to have many more days like today when you bat without any flow or ease, and ultimately without any enjoyment. ‘If your concentration isn’t focused, then your footwork, balance and ability to move without effort to the line of the ball will be hindered. And a “loose” mind takes up so
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much energy that you will end up physically and mentally exhausted despite not having accomplished anything.’ Vic’s critique made sense even then, but now—having enjoyed a long career as a professional sportsman—I realise that what my friend was talking about is the very foundation of mental toughness and excellence; and that it applies not only to sport, but to everything in life. Without concentration there can be no success. I once read that in life, the little things are actually the big things, and the quality of success you experience depends on the tiny choices you make every minute of every hour of every day. I have absolutely no doubt that it is important to aim for the stars, to set ambitious goals and pursue them wholeheartedly. It is also important to learn lessons from what has gone before, but the greatest challenge is to understand that, when the game of life is in full swing, you must live for the moment, to concentrate on that ball. When the pressure is turned on, if you are to fulfil your potential then you must focus on the present. At that one moment in time, what has happened in the past does not really matter because it has already been, while what may happen in the future is yet to come. The reason I dream about the future is to put a smile on my face and to give me energy for the present. It also gives me a direction for where I want to take my life. But as wonderful and important as those goals with wings might be, the essence of life is to live the moment. Vic Smith’s words have never left me. Now it is my turn to explain to young athletes that the key to success is to concentrate the mind precisely and appropriately at the moment of executing a skill. To do this, I must exclude all irrelevant thoughts or distractions at that moment when I’m trying to complete the task at hand.
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As a batsman, at the moment the bowler lets go of the ball my mind must be completely focused on that ball and nothing else. I must not be thinking about what my hands are doing . . . what my feet or shoulders are doing . . . what position my head is in . . . what the bowler is thinking or doing . . . what the scoreboard is showing . . . what the opposition fielder has just said to me . . . what happened during the last delivery . . . what could happen in five deliveries’ time . . . what the media have been saying about me lately . . . how my form has been . . . the crowd and their comments . . . my desire to score a century . . . my lack of desire to fail . . . nothing but that ball. The key to concentration is filling your mind with what you need to do to ensure a successful action. For me to bat well there must be nothing but that ball on my mind. Imagine a glass sitting on the table. Pure concentration is when that glass is full to the very brim with milk. Not halffull, but absolutely full.That is how my mind must be every time I face a bowler armed with a cricket ball. If my mind is not full with that ball, I may get through my innings but I will not be giving myself the opportunity to realise my full potential and play with the ‘flow’ to which we all aspire. If a sportsman claims to have been in ‘the zone’, I believe they have reached the place where the mind is clear and concentrating at its peak. Martial artists call this kime, which translates as the ‘tightening of the mind’. In Joe Hyams’ book Zen in the Martial Arts, Bruce Lee is quoted describing kime as ‘being able to concentrate all the energy of the body and the mind on one specific target or goal at a time’. Lee continued: The secret of kime is to exclude all extraneous thoughts, thoughts that are not concerned with achieving your
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immediate goal. A good martial artist puts his mind on one thing at a time. He takes each thing as it comes, finishes with it, and passes on to the next. Like a Zen master, he is not concerned with the past or the future, only with what he is doing at the moment. Because his mind is tight, he is calm and able to maintain strength in reserve. And then there will be room for only one thought. Always remember: in life as well as on the mat an unfocused or ‘loose’ mind wastes energy.
In this respect, I have found that facing a cricket ball or defending myself in the dojo is no different from ironing a shirt, driving a car or pouring a cup of tea. If I am not concentrating on the task at hand I will not do it successfully—worse, I may have an accident and hurt myself. Accidents or mistakes happen so quickly and are usually the result of a momentary loss or lack of concentration at the crucial time. Fortunately, the art of concentration is a learned skill rather than something we are born with. I have found meditation to be a great help in improving my ability to concentrate and I have also learned that anyone can improve or tighten their concentration simply by making an effort to put all of their energy into the moment, one moment at a time. That, in essence, was what Vic Smith was telling me back at Abbett Park, all those years ago.
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8
WHITE NOISE
‘God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.’ Reinhold Niebuhr, The Serenity Prayer
Reg Dickason is an interesting bloke. Among his many hats is that of security manager for the Australian cricket team on a number of our overseas tours. In comparison to some of his other jobs, this must have been a bit like Ronaldo playing football against a group of kids in the local park. Reg’s life as an undercover policeman and owner of a high-level security services business means he has seen and experienced things that most of us would only ever see at the movies, or read about in newspapers. A big man, with arms and legs like tree trunks, Reg has a red, bushy moustache and a steely look that exudes authority.While most of the threats we have been subjected to on tours in recent years have proved to be relatively minor, you never know what might be around the corner, so Reg’s presence has always been very welcome. 42
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During the 2005 Ashes series in England, I found myself quite badly affected by the crowd at Old Trafford in Manchester. I had been fielding on the boundary for three or four hours, and during this time I had copped an extraordinary amount of abuse from the local supporters. Initially, the banter was good-natured, even humorous, just the sort of stuff you’d expect from a partisan English crowd. Unfortunately, as the beer took hold the joking degenerated into the worst abuse I’ve ever been subjected to at a cricket ground.The insults and foul language were so appalling that by the end of the afternoon I must admit I could empathise with Eric Cantona, whose infamous flying kick at an abusive Crystal Palace fan in 1995 made headlines around the world. While I don’t condone his behaviour, I can now understand how he could have snapped. Every jeer drained away a bit more of my concentration and my performance deteriorated to the point of humiliation. With every passing minute my anger was getting closer to boiling point. England were playing excellent cricket and the crowd was adding insults to the injury of what at that moment looked like a certain defeat. I was turning into living proof of the samurai maxim that ‘The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life.’ When I look back now, I am disappointed in my inability to control my emotions, but that nightmare afternoon did lead to another tremendous life lesson. The day after the Test match, still fuming, I was sitting in a bar with Reg and telling him what had happened during the game. Having heard me out, he lowered his voice and told me about ‘white noise’: When I find myself in a stressful situation—and in my job there have been many—I use a strategy where I ‘pull down the shutters’ and turn on the white noise.
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When you think about it, each of us has conditioned responses to familiar events. A bowler bowls you a short delivery and you pull it to the boundary for four. Someone smiles at you and says ‘Hello’, and you do the same. Your baby cries and you pick her up, or someone throws a ball at you and you move out of the way or catch it. These are all conditioned responses; you do them without thinking. The problems start when something happens that is not a regular occurrence. It might be something unpleasant, or a rare moment that you haven’t been conditioned, physically or mentally, to respond to. In these instances, you need a considered reaction or strategy to deal with the situation. For me, this strategy is called ‘white noise’ and I think it might come in handy for you the next time you come up against the sort of problems you faced the other day. When I was a policeman, I found myself in a number of situations where the environment I was in was out of my control. However, there were certain things I had to achieve and to give myself the best chance of overcoming these external problems, I turned on the white noise. White noise, by definition, is what you hear when you are in between channels on the radio. It can also be visual, when you are channel surfing on the TV and you get a ‘snowy’ out-of-focus picture and its accompanying noise. It’s electronic interference that is blocking out other signals. It is not a single sound, but the entire spectrum of frequencies that the human ear can hear. Just as white light contains all the colours in the spectrum, white noise is a combination of all the different frequencies of sound. All this sounds very technical, but its benefits are simple. White noise is a combination of all frequencies, so there are no sudden, sharp or inconsistent sounds. It is a smooth, mesmerising sonic arrangement. Think about some of
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nature’s ‘white noise’—ocean waves, whistling wind, rain on the roof, a waterfall. How will white noise help you ‘shut off’ during pressure situations? Let me give you an example. Working on the front line at an anti-uranium demonstration, arms linked with my fellow policemen, I know that if someone breaks the line, the demonstrators will all break through and cause major trouble, not dissimilar to a human dam bursting. Imagine hordes of angry, passionate demonstrators 12 inches from your face, spitting, swearing, taunting, basically trying to push every one of your emotional buttons. A normal human reaction would be to retaliate and fight back; in this situation, however, that means a broken line and loss of advantage. It’s also unprofessional. How to cope? Turn on the white noise. The taunts and spitting are no longer an issue, because your head is now in another place—a peaceful place where you can’t hear or feel what is going on around you. Your total focus and concentration is on the task at hand, a state of mind that gives you control and, ultimately, victory. On a very different level, white noise can work at home. Occasionally, one of our kids won’t let up until they get their way. Solution: white noise. The kid gets sick of it before I do and I get to keep my sanity. During this tour, I have sensed that a number of the boys have become affected by the environment they’re playing in. Perhaps if you can learn how to take control of certain situations, you won’t get so distracted. Things like crowd sledging, the annoying cricket ‘tragic’, the smart-arse on the street, poor service in the hotels, pressure on the pitch, and so on—some of these circumstances are out of your control but they still shouldn’t affect your performance if you have the strategies in place to be able to cope with them.
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It is often said that we should only concern ourselves with those things that are within our control. I think another sentence needs to be added to every verse written on controlling the ‘controllables’, something along the lines of, ‘And for those things out of your control, have a fall-back strategy available.’ My fall-back strategy is to turn on the white noise and pump up the volume.
Only a week later, I was faced with an almost identical situation to the one I’d encountered at Manchester. This time it was during the fourth Test, at Trent Bridge in Nottingham. Again, I was fielding on the boundary and the situation of the game was as tense as it gets in a Test series. England needed 40 runs to win and take a 2–1 series lead, while we needed an unlikely six wickets to take the Test and retain the Ashes. The crowd were as vocal as ever, willing on their countrymen to a crucial victory. A week ago the crowd’s noise had made me angry and distracted but now, with the white noise humming in my mind, I felt like a Zen master. I kept my focus right up until the last ball of this gripping match had been bowled. The shutters were pulled down and I could see, hear or feel nothing but the ball and my task in the field. White noise is just another form of concentration. I’m often asked what it’s like to play in front of huge crowds, while the world’s media and millions of viewers are watching your every move. If I exist only in the moment, then there is no room in my mind for any distraction. In difficult situations such as that 2005 Ashes series, white noise—a learned strategic coping behaviour—allows me to get my job done.
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BLACK NOISE As helpful as ‘white noise’ can be in shutting out unwanted distractions, there will still be times when, no matter how hard you try, you can’t reach that happy place of complete silence where your concentration is at its peak. I remember this happening to me while I was batting at Bangalore in India. It was 2004 and we were playing India in one of the most eagerly awaited Test series of recent years. The hype leading up to the first Test had been breathtaking. The pressure of expectation was excruciating. It was my job to face the first ball of the series. I can clearly remember Irfan Pathan running in to hurl down that first delivery, but for once the outside noise had invaded the silent vacuum that signalled peak concentration. In fact, the noise was so loud it felt as if I was wearing headphones through which 50,000 people were screaming into my ears. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t turn it off. On this particular day in Bangalore, however, my brain was buzzing as Pathan released the ball. The ball looked as small as a pea, because my mind was muddled from the racket, and I had lost the ability to concentrate on what was important. As fate would have it, I was hit on the pad and as the entire Indian team went up for a raucous appeal the noise from the crowd amplified until it woke me from this nightmare of a situation. Thankfully, the umpire gave me ‘Not out’, and from that moment on I managed to switch back to the ball. As soon as I did this, the din that had accompanied the opening delivery died away to nothing. The white noise was back on and I had found my way back to my own little world—a place I love to be when the pressure is really on.
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9
OUT OF FORM
‘It is said that if you want to know what you were in the past, look at your body now; if you want to know what will happen in the future, look at what your mind is doing now.’ Adapted from ancient Indian philosophy
Matty Hayden, my great friend and long-time opening partner, is a colossus in every sense of the word. He is as mentally and physically strong as any athlete I have ever met. On and off the cricket field, his focus and singleminded pursuit of excellence are inspirational. These are the cornerstones on which he has built his unbridled success over the last decade, as he has rewritten the record books and realised his ambition to become one of the great players of our time. Apart from sporting brilliance, Matty also has the ability and wisdom to keep a balance in his life. This has allowed him to remain at peace with himself during his career. One afternoon, after scoring a Test-match century in Durban, South Africa, he raced back to his hotel room, retrieved his surfboard, ran across the road to the waves, and surfed until the sun went down. On his return, he knocked on my door, still dripping wet. 48
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‘How good is this, my little mate?’ he beamed. ‘A Test hundred and a dozen perfect waves. Life doesn’t get much better than this!’ Renowned as a fantastic cricket player, Matty is also a fantastic person, my youngest daughter’s godfather, and something of a philosopher who has an uncanny knack of being able to provide an honest perspective on life matters just when it is most needed. For a short time in 2004–05, Matty went through a relatively moderate period of form, when he seemed to lose some of the focus for which he had become famous. His iron-clad mind seemed to have sprung a tiny leak, which shows that even the greatest of performers have human weaknesses, just like the rest of us. Shortly before this so-called ‘slump’, the two of us were having dinner at the Taj Hotel in Mumbai, India. During the course of the meal my ears pricked up when Matty started talking about the upcoming 12 months. He was saying how busy his calendar was for the next year and how he was worried about fitting everything in. The more successful a person becomes the heavier the expectations and commitments that can be placed on their shoulders. New demands are made and the pressure of those higher expectations becomes another challenge that has to be faced and mastered. Champions manage these increased burdens by compartmentalising their priorities. They continue to focus on what they are doing at the moment. When they are performing on the big stage they give their full attention to that task. When they leave their field of endeavour, then they give their full concentration to their families, friends, study or business opportunities. Like all skills, this ability to compartmentalise is one that has to be learned.
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In this instance, Matty’s reputation as one of the game’s superstars meant that his calendar was full. The mere thought of what was ahead of him made him weary. Winston Churchill once said that ‘the price of greatness is responsibility’. In this day and age, responsibility can take up vast amounts of time—a problem my opening partner was now facing more than ever before. A marathon runner cannot run 42 kilometres without concentrating on one step at a time. A builder can’t build a house without cementing one brick at a time. An author can’t write a book without working through each chapter one at a time, rather than getting distracted by deadlines or the word count required for the final draft. Twelve months after our dinner in India, and just before the final Test match of the 2005 Ashes series in England, there had been whispers that Matty was on the verge of losing his position in the team. Few people believed them, because he is one of the game’s modern-day masters, whose exploits have been nothing short of phenomenal. The sad fact is, however, that life can be fickle and no one cares about the past when there is a job to be done in the present. In my opinion, Matty had allowed the future to distract him and, in the process, had lost some of his focus on the daily and weekly processes that allow him to achieve his goals. Unconsciously, he had lost focus on the game plan that had served him so well in the past.When people began to criticise his game, he must have been thinking, ‘Hang on a minute, I’ve been one of the best batsmen in the world for the last four years.’ Of course, this reaction is natural, but all of a sudden the pressure was building, a result of him being caught in the past and the future rather than the present.
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Fortunately, Matty kept his place in the team and, as fate would have it, he was one of the heroes of that final Test in England, scoring a magnificent and courageous hundred. By drawing on all of his experience, he was able to turn around his fortunes by reaffirming and then trusting his rock-solid game plan, which is based on single-minded concentration on the moment and the ball. On our return to Australia, he scored centuries in three consecutive Tests, making him just the third batsman in Test history to twice score hundreds in four consecutive Test matches. Matty’s situation was similar to one I had lived through four years before his ordeal. I remember getting off a Qantas flight after my third straight year of county cricket in England. Three seasons of county cricket meant I had literally played eight straight ‘summers’ of domestic and international cricket (four in Australia or on overseas tours with the Australian team, an Ashes tour of England in 1997, and three seasons in England) without taking more than a week’s break between stints. I was physically and mentally exhausted, and I can vividly recall staggering into the baggage retrieval area of Perth’s international airport wondering how I was going to climb the arduous mountain of yet another season of cricket back home in Australia. As hard as I tried, I could not re-focus my mind and my performance slumped. I can remember standing in the field daydreaming about what was going to happen the following March: a three-month break from the game following a tour of India. I had lost my steely focus and I couldn’t get the thought of a rest and rediscovering my energy for the game I loved out of my mind. At the time, I wasn’t aware of what was causing my ‘slump’, so I was trying harder than ever to get my form
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back. The harder I tried the worse I seemed to be getting. Despite being tired I was wearing myself out by working even harder technically and physically. On top of this, my mind was in overdrive as I searched for the remedy to my problems. Mental strain is often as wearing as physical exertion, so I was giving myself a double whammy of stress. After a run of low scores, my hopes for a happy break were getting mixed up with concern about my position in the team, and my concentration and focus, which I considered to be two of my greatest strengths, were being fully tested. Then another interesting ‘mind game’ was added to the melting pot.The media had picked up on my mediocre Test averages, which might not have been diabolical but were below what I had been achieving in the previous three or four years. Every criticism I read, I took to heart. Only 12 months before, the Australian captain had described me as ‘the best batsman in the world’. I thought my overall statistics and past performances under pressure would be sufficient reason for everyone to get off my back. I should have remembered that this is not how top-level sport works. I was not only living in the future but now in the past. I was everywhere but the only place that really mattered: the present. After an unproductive series in India, I was dropped for the first Ashes Test of 2001, and it was only then that I realised that the grandest of plans for the future, the boldest dreams in the world, count for nothing unless every step along the way has my fullest attention, unless I am living right in the moment. Life often presents us with experiences like these that contain valuable lessons. Being given these lessons is one
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thing; learning from them and moving forward is another. By giving today your best shot, tomorrow has a way of looking after itself. Matty Hayden, like all true champions, learned his lesson and came out better and stronger than ever.
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10
IN FORM
‘Form is temporary, class is permanent.’ Anon
When I was about 18 years old I saw the West Indian bowling legend Courtney Walsh in a T-shirt which proclaimed ‘Form is temporary, class is permanent.’ At the time, I thought it was a cool slogan, but over the years I’ve come to realise that these words are much, much more than that. I laugh when I hear so-called experts label someone a ‘confidence player’. The pundits say, ‘Oh, he’s a real confidence player. If he’s confident he is brilliant, but if he isn’t then he’s terrible.’ Everyone is a confidence player. I have seen the greatest cricket players of our time doubt their abilities and ‘lose form’.Years ago, Greg Chappell scored seven ducks in one Australian season, including four in a row! Steve Waugh went through a period of mediocre form in 2001–02. His mental toughness gained him the nickname ‘Iceman’, but even he had his ups and downs. After a run of low scores in South Africa, I sat next to him as he slumped, disheartened, on the team bus. I knew that, as he sat staring out the window, his mind would be hurtling out of control and self-doubt eating away at his confidence. 54
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‘It’s a lonely world, isn’t it skipper?’ I said. Here we were, sitting in a bus outside the Wanderers Stadium in Johannesburg, away from our families and under the glare of the media spotlight. Having been rated the world’s No. 1 batsman for a number of years, suddenly things were looking grim for one of our most decorated captains. For the first time in a very long time, Steve was being tested by the ‘form gods’. As we talked through the nuances of so-called ‘poor form’, I came to realise that even the strongest of characters goes through these tough times, regardless of whether they are the world’s best player or not. Perversely, I almost enjoy seeing a champion endure a run of poor form and the pain that goes with it, because it reminds me that I am not the only one who worries and doubts and dreads what the future holds. I have had the privilege of playing with many great cricketers and I can say without hesitation that every single one of them has had to fight through tough times but came out the other end a better player and stronger person. Personally, if I don’t get the result I want, my natural reaction is to think I have failed. I fall headlong into the trap of analysing and re-analysing where I went wrong and my confidence takes a beating. It feels as if my next success is as far away as the summit of Mount Everest. Nothing seems to work and the natural flow of ‘good form’ seems to have dried up permanently. At one of these times, when my confidence was a bit low, my good friend Alan Jones told me, ‘Relax, remember who you are, how good you are and that the only thing that matters is the ball.’ Alan then hit me with, ‘Talent never loses its voice, but sometimes it is silent.’ After returning to Australia following the 2005 Ashes series, Matty Hayden and I attended a luncheon, where
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Matty was asked how he dealt with his loss of form during the series. His answer was a perfect description of what it feels like to be in and out of form. Imagine driving to your favourite holiday destination in your home state. You leave work at lunchtime on Friday knowing you have all the time in the world to get to the beach house. Your car is packed and you cruise down the highway, listening to your favourite music and losing yourself in the thoughts of how you are going to relax and enjoy the weekend. You feel happy and calm. The drive is simply a chance to unwind and reflect on what has been a good week at work. Your only thoughts are what to have for dinner and how many fish or waves you are going to catch over the next few days. You also know that this opportunity is a reward for all of your hard work, and for this you feel proud and content. This, my friends, is what it feels like to be in ‘good form’. You walk out to bat feeling as if you are running on autopilot. You have no thoughts in your head, except what you are going to do with the next ball. Off the field, you feel happy and content, with energy and enthusiasm for the next game. You feel like everything is flowing with perfect balance and symmetry. There is no better feeling and at the end of the day this is where we want to be all of the time. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out this way. Here’s an alternative scenario. You have to get to the same town as your holiday house but this time you have to be there at 6 p.m. on Friday to make a presentation. Before you leave home this morning, you have a flat battery, so you are going to be an hour late. Suddenly your mind switches to overdrive as you start cursing your luck and blaming the world for the horrible week you have had at work. By the time you get to work, you’ve been handed another deadline to meet and the
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boss is on your case to get it done before you leave for that important presentation later in the day. Instead of being able to leave the office on time you now have two hours to make a three-hour drive to your final commitment of the week. You feel flustered and rushed and your energy is being sapped by the second. While you are trying to turn down the speed of your thoughts you look into the rear-vision mirror and realise a police car is sitting on your tail. Now you watch every move you make. You make sure you indicate at the right time, you slow down to the speed limit, you feel the weight of your feet on the pedals. Your arms feel tight and the sweat under your armpits and on the palms of your hands are a tell-tale sign that you are anything but at ease. Rather than looking at where you want to go, you keep looking over your shoulder at the police car behind you. At the same time, you’re watching the clock as you try to work out how you can possibly arrive on time. In between watching the police car and the clock you’re trying to come up with as many excuses as possible as to why you are late and flustered. In this state it is impossible to concentrate on what you are going to say at your presentation and, when you finally arrive, you are flat and worn out before you even begin your job. This is how it feels to be in ‘bad form’. You think about everything and anything other than the only thing that matters—the cricket ball. You feel rushed and uptight and it is hard to get out of bed in the morning because you are dreading another tough day at the office. All you can think about is another failure and more humiliation, as the circle of fear and anxiety draws you further into the abyss of ‘bad form’.
There is a very fine line between good and bad form. Sometimes, I’ve thought, ‘Yes, I scored 100 runs today, but
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I was dropped on five and a close umpiring decision went my way on 14. At day’s end, though, I had a century to my name so I guess that means I am in “good form”.’ On the other hand, there were times when I’ve said to myself, ‘I’ve been hitting the ball sweetly in the nets but in my last three innings I have been run out, copped a bad decision and caught brilliantly. But I haven’t scored any runs so I guess that means I am in “bad form”.’ Form, good or bad, is simply a product of your thinking. When you’re going well you feel you are king of the world, but when the results aren’t going your way you feel more like the king’s lowest stable boy. There is a great old saying, ‘Never mess with good form’, which to me means, ‘Cash in on and enjoy the good times, while staying true to the habits and thought processes that led to your success.’ In the same breath, though, I would tell you to keep trusting those same habits even when the results aren’t coming, because good times are rarely far away for someone who works hard and trusts the cycle of life.
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11
SELF-TALK
‘Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.’ Marcus Tullius Cicero
Imagine being at golf ’s British Open at St Andrews, just finishing a cup of tea and waiting for the first players to tee off. All of a sudden a tall, athletic man is walking straight towards you. He has a mop of blond hair and is wearing a large hat with a shark embossed on it. Greg Norman offers you his hand and asks whether you would be able to caddy for him. His regular ‘bagman’ has gone down with a bout of gastro and Greg is desperate for someone to help him out. How could you refuse? You pick up the bag and head off with ‘The Shark’ to the first tee. Just as he is about to hit his opening shot you remind your new boss how important this first hole is, especially since the tee is in front of a packed gallery of spectators. Handing him his driver you say, ‘Whatever you do, don’t mess up this shot.You’ll embarrass yourself if you don’t get this first drive straight down the centre of the fairway.’ Your initial words of wisdom might have made the Shark a little tense, but whatever the reason he promptly 59
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hooks his tee shot into the rough on the left-hand side of the fairway. Your reaction is, ‘What sort of shot was that? This round is looking bad already. The luck is against you and it looks as though we will be in for a long, hard day if you keep playing like that. Have you put enough time in on the practice range, or what?’ Fortunately, Greg’s next shot is perfect, rolling to a halt back into the centre of the fairway. ‘Phew, you were lucky to get out of that mess,’ you say. ‘Now whatever you do, don’t stuff up the next one or you’re back in bogey territory.’ Like a champion, Greg plays a great shot onto the sloping green and the ball rolls to within three metres of the pin. ‘Not bad, mate, but remember this first putt will tell you whether your putting is “on” today. Don’t miss it or you might as well give up your chance at the title right now. This putt is pretty much life-or-death for you today.’ Unfortunately, the putt stops half a metre short of the hole. Out of frustration, you yell, ‘You wimp! My mother could have putted better than that. Why didn’t you have a go at it? If you go on putting like this you’ll have no chance of even making the cut.’ After 18 holes of such feedback, you shake hands with Greg, who’s now an emotional mess. Not only has he played the worst round of golf in his life, but thanks to your ‘constructive criticism’ he’s now wracked with self-doubt and his confidence is at an all-time low. Now ask yourself, ‘If you really did get the chance to caddy for Greg Norman at the Open would you talk to him in this way?’ I’d be shocked if any of us would answer anything but an emphatic ‘NO!’
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That’s fine. But if we wouldn’t talk to the great Greg Norman in such a manner, why do we do it to ourselves? Whether we are on the golf course or the cricket field, in the office or the classroom, our tendency is to beat ourselves up with negative self-talk. Rather than telling ourselves that everyone’s bound to play a couple of average shots a round, but the next one will be sweet, or ‘Okay, that verbal presentation didn’t go so well, but I’ve got all the data—I can convince them at the next meeting,’ we only hear the negative side. If I want to give myself the best chance of success in anything I do, I have to talk to myself as a great caddy, coach or teacher would talk to me. Even when I was under intense pressure, I had to find the discipline to talk to myself as the best coach in the world would talk to me, and it’s no different for anyone else. In her book The Secret, Rhonda Byrne said, ‘When you do not treat yourself the way you want others to treat you, you can never change the way things are. Your actions are your powerful thoughts, so if you do not treat yourself with love and respect, you are emitting a signal that is saying you are not important enough, or deserving.’ Negative self-talk is extremely destructive. Positive selftalk, on the other hand, is one of the keys to success. It’s a matter of trust. If you teach yourself to believe and trust in your own positive advice, and can listen to and act on your own constructive reinforcement while blocking out the negative rubbish, the chances are that not only will your opening drive go straight down the fairway, but the rest of your shots will also hit their mark.
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12
MENTAL TOUGHNESS
‘A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.’ Henry Brooks Adams, American historian and novelist
Andy Hurry—an ex-Royal Marine—has eyes that tell a thousand stories.When those eyes meet yours, they demand your full attention and respect. When I first met Andy in 2006, he was the coach of the Somerset County Cricket Club. In the first few minutes of that initial meeting, I realised there was something special about this man. Like many men who have successfully entered elite units such as the Royal Marines or the SAS, Andy’s eyes said it all. To earn the Green Beret, to be one of the military’s ‘best of the best’, a Royal Marine must suffer almost unimaginable pain and sacrifice. Like many of their military counterparts, they are preparing for the ultimate test of war; a test which demands incredible physical and mental toughness. Being one of the best of the best in any pursuit comes at a high price. In the military, those who can’t handle the pressure drop out and never wear the Green Beret. Those who make it through demand the instant respect of those around them. 62
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That is how it is with Andy Hurry and me. I have learned many lessons from my mate. I have been inspired when he has challenged me to keep getting better and I have listened intently when he has questioned my mental toughness. On one occasion at Surrey’s Guildford Cricket Club, Andy summoned me out onto the balcony. There was a light rain falling and I’d been making excuses as to why I should not have to pad up for our second innings. In the first innings I’d surpassed my highest first-class score, so not surprisingly I was feeling on cloud nine. I had been urging a few of my team-mates to bat out the second innings while I put my feet up and enjoyed the acclaim for my achievement of the day before. At one stage, I made a flippant comment about how I was losing more and more motivation to bat as the rain interruption continued. Basically, I was carrying on as if I was bigger than the team and the game. I’d slipped into a comfort zone befitting someone with a big ego. It was at this point that Andy sidled up to me and, with a smile on his face, asked me if he could have a quick word outside. The smile disappeared as soon as we reached the balcony, and Andy’s steely look spoke volumes. Looking straight into my eyes, he said flatly,‘Lost your motivation, are you kidding me? We’ve fought hard for three days and now you’re telling me that when it comes to the crunch and we have to see the job through, you have “lost your motivation”? I thought you were better than that.Your job isn’t done yet.’ Without giving me a chance to reply, he walked away. As I thought about what Andy had said, I realised that he was right. I also reflected on how easy it can be to neglect your job, especially straight after enjoying some success. At that moment on the balcony I felt about two feet tall. I also
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realised that I still had a long way to go in my pursuit of true mental toughness. Just two days before I had concentrated as well as I had ever done, but there was still room for improvement and I appreciated and respected the message my friend had given me. This would not be the only time Andy would remind me how important it is not only to understand what your task is, but to see that task through with every inch of your concentration, enthusiasm and energy. That same day at Guildford taught me another valuable lesson. While I was looking around for other people to do my job and take the pressure off me, I was beginning to knock the guys who rejected the opportunity to have a bat. I was thinking these guys were either ‘soft’, scared of failing, or just lazy and reluctant to take up a challenge. In fact, what I was seeing was my own mirror image. It is easy to criticise others, but in this instance I was attributing my own weaknesses to my team-mates and using them as an excuse for my inadequacies. Years before, I’d had a very similar experience with another hard taskmaster by the name of Ric Charlesworth. Ric’s life of great achievement has included stints as a Sheffield Shield cricketer, Australian hockey champion, parliamentarian, doctor and remarkably successful coach of the Australian women’s hockey team, the Hockeyroos. Ric has taught me a couple of very valuable lessons. On this particular occasion he was the guest speaker at a pre-Test match function in Perth in November 1999. Two days before, I had completed my best performance in Test cricket, playing a key role as Australia won an incredible Test match against Pakistan at the Bellerive Oval in Tasmania. Chasing 369, we had slumped to 5–126 before Adam Gilchrist and I built a match-winning partnership.
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Great as the stand was, I was out playing a lazy shot when the team needed just five runs to complete what was then the third-highest fourth innings total ever made to win a Test. After Ric’s speech, I walked over to his table to thank him. Before I could get a word out, he looked at me and snarled, ‘Well done in Hobart, but what the hell do you think you were doing playing that shot? If you are serious about going to the next level of mental toughness, you can’t afford to make that kind of mental error. There was still a job to be done, but you got lazy. Champions don’t get lazy and they don’t give up until their job is complete.’ For a moment I was gobsmacked. There I was feeling on top of the world after what I thought had been a monumental achievement, but all of a sudden one of the most respected people I know had brought me crashing back to earth. I can’t deny that initially I was hurt, but Ric’s words still ring through my ears every time my mind starts to take an easier approach to life. There are no shortcuts to success. Mentorship is a critical part of any person’s development. Throughout my life I have been fortunate to come into contact with some brilliant mentors who have taught me lessons that have been crucial to my development as a person and as an athlete. Often the best lessons come disguised as the harshest criticism. My greatest mentors have entered my life by having the courage to tell me a few home truths that hurt my feelings at the time. Looking back, though, each of those criticisms has been the spur I’ve needed to move forward and improve. It took courage for Andy Hurry to question my motives that day at Guildford. I am glad he did, just as I am thankful Ric Charlesworth didn’t spare my feelings. Wisely, they
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both censured me when I was on a high rather than when I was at a low ebb. This timing was a lesson in itself as most critics tend to put the boot in to someone when they are already down; shrewdly they chose to advise me when I was flying high. In both instances I could have walked away and sulked, and never talked to either guy again, but I have learned how helpful well-meant advice can be. Whenever someone criticises me the first question I ask myself is, ‘Where is the criticism coming from?’ It’s easy for people to criticise others; destructive criticism is rife in our society today. If the criticism is coming from someone I respect or someone who has walked the same path that I am on then, regardless of the severity of the critique, there is usually a constructive lesson to be learned. I count myself lucky to have had mentors such as Ric and Andy, men who strive after excellence in every aspect of their lives. Another such individual is John Worsfold, currently coach of the West Coast Eagles AFL team. As a player, John’s physical toughness was legendary. His presence was daunting to any opposition player and comforting to every one of his team-mates. Remembering this, it is no wonder his players look as though they would run through brick walls for their coach. Because John walked his talk as a player, he now commands the respect to be able to ask his men to do the same thing. After winning the 2006 AFL Premiership, John came to address the Western Australian cricket team. His speech ranged across such themes as ‘shared vision’, ‘honest selfassessment’, ‘ability to overcome adversity’, ‘unwavering self-belief ’, ‘physical courage’, ‘concentration’ and ‘body language’. He talked about ‘never giving up’ and ‘honestly assessing your present reality in order to understand the areas where you need to improve’. Finally, when asked to define
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mental toughness, he described it as ‘a total commitment to do whatever it takes to get the job done’. In my profession, I’ve rubbed shoulders with many mentally tough people, but for me the epitome of mental strength has to be Steve Waugh. One of the most important lessons I have learned from Steve is that regardless of how things are going it is important to remain level-headed. ‘If everything is going well, don’t get too carried away with yourself,’ he once told me. ‘And when things aren’t going so well, don’t get too down about it. Try to stay on the same emotional level wherever you can.’ Steve also showed me how important it is to be able to compartmentalise your life by devoting all your attention to the task at hand. I used to wonder how Steve could be the best batsman in the world, a successful businessman, raise money for charity, find time for his family and be the Australian cricket captain. Steve’s success was down to his ability to focus on each aspect of his life when he needed to, without getting sidetracked by distractions. In this sense, his life was a reflection of his personal definition of mental toughness on the cricket field: ‘Mental toughness is about giving 100 per cent of your attention to the next ball bowled to you. To do this you have to eliminate all distractions and back yourself to handle anything that comes your way by being fully present for every ball.’ Mental toughness is not about being ‘macho’, but about keeping your focus when the pressure is really on. For me, this focus comes from having a solid game plan, unwavering self-belief and an attitude that will never let me give up, even when the chips are down.Wayne Bennett describes this succinctly as having the ‘ability to never give in to yourself ’. I reckon Andy Hurry, Ric Charlesworth, John Worsfold and Steve Waugh would know exactly what Wayne means.
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THE MAN IN THE GLASS When you get what you want in your struggle for self And the world makes you king for a day. Just go to the mirror and look at yourself And see what that man has to say. For it isn’t your father or mother or wife Whose judgement upon you must pass. The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life Is the one staring back from the glass. You may be like Jack Horner and ‘chisel’ a plum And think you’re a wonderful guy. But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum If you can’t look him straight in the eye. He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest, For he’s with you clear to the end. And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test If the man in the glass is your friend. You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years And get pats on the back as you pass. But the final reward will be heartbreak and tears If you’ve cheated the man in the glass. Adapted from ‘The Guy in the Glass’, ‘Dale’ Wimbrow, 1934
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13
CONSTANT IMPROVEMENT
‘The great enemy to spiritual progress is the belief you “know already”. Knowledge is unfolded. Pray to be willing at every stage to be ignorant, so you can really be taught.’ Doug Conlon, author of Journey to the Cave of the Heart
Kaizen is a Japanese concept, which can be translated as a strategy or attitude of continuous improvement. It was Ric Charlesworth who introduced me to the word, but it encapsulates a philosophy that has been the driving force behind any success I have achieved on or off the sporting field. The quest for continuous improvement has been my greatest motivator, and the attitude it entails has allowed me to reach the goals I have set myself. Success aside, kaizen has been crucial to my development as a person and taught me to learn from the many lessons life has thrown my way. Noddy Holder, my batting mentor and close friend, has used the concept of kaizen for years to help me stay on the right path. There have been times when I have felt as if I was standing still with my batting development. This stagnation caused me to grow frustrated and I felt as if I was batting to survive rather than to score runs and dominate 69
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the opposition. At times I’ve felt like giving the game away, because there is nothing fun about playing or living to survive. When Noddy saw me digging myself into this kind of hole, he would sit me down and fire a few simple questions my way. ‘Can you get better?’ ‘Do you want to get better?’ And finally, ‘Are you willing to do what it takes to get better?’ On each occasion, Noddy’s challenge renewed my energy for the game and I began jumping out of my skin at the thought of improving my game, to the point where my wildest imagination could take it. Noddy has always emphasised that a person must strive for progress, not perfection. He says,‘Perfection is an illusion, because we can always get better.’ ‘Skill development,’ he continues, ‘is the greatest motivator in the world, because the better you get at something, the more you want to do it. Subsequently, the more you do something, the better you get at it. This leads to the added bonus of success and the rewards that go with being successful at your skill or art.’ ‘We have a choice—we can choose to grow, exist or die. By looking to improve, you will grow and live a full life, but if you sit still and simply exist then you will get knocked over again and again and the chances are your spirit will die. Obviously each of us will die, but before then we have a choice to improve and grow, or to sit still and “just exist”. ‘You retire when you think you can’t get better, or when you know you are no longer willing to do what it takes to get better. Life will always have lessons for you to learn from.’
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My old friend Andrew Matthews, an esteemed author, artist and speaker, says, ‘When we fail to learn a lesson, we get to take it again . . . and again! Once we have learned the lesson, we move on to the next one.’ For some, the degrees by which they can improve are marginal, but then any difference is just a matter of margins. The difference between the best and the rest is marginal, as are the differences between winning and losing, success and failure. More than one young sportsperson has come to me complaining about their lack of ‘form’ or lack of opportunity. In each instance, I will ask them the same questions Noddy asked me, to help them get to the core of the issue and away from the distractions which are preventing them from reaching the level of performance they are aiming for. I don’t blame youngsters for allowing themselves to get distracted, because it can be confronting getting back to the basics. It generally requires putting in some hard work and having the wisdom to focus your gaze back onto your game. You need to avoid worrying about anything except what really matters. I am always happy to share something I learned from Joe Hyams’ book, Zen in the Martial Arts. ‘Why are you so upset and frustrated?’ I’ll ask. ‘Because “Joe Bloggs” has been picked ahead of me and I can’t understand why. I don’t know what I have to do to get a chance.’ At this point, I take a piece of chalk and draw a line on the floor. ‘How do you think you can make this line shorter?’ I ask. After looking at the line for a while the student will respond with a variety of answers, such as cutting the line in two, or rubbing out a bit of the line.
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With each response, I shake my head. Eventually, I draw a second line that is longer than the first. ‘Now, how does the first line look?’ ‘Shorter,’ is the reply. Always seek to lengthen and strengthen your own line, rather than shorten your opponent’s. If you put all your attention into your own improvement, you will have no time to worry about things that may be outside your control and distracting you from what you need to do or where you want to go. Andrea Bocelli sums this philosophy up perfectly in his book, The Music of Silence. ‘The worth of an artist is in inverse proportion to the extent of his needs, his follies and his desires, because the true artist is nourished entirely by his art and that is enough to make him happy and completely satisfied.’ Within the Australian cricket team is a relentless ethos of constant improvement. Under Steve Waugh’s captaincy, we were challenged to take the ‘road less travelled’ in our pursuit of excellence. Ricky Ponting believes that as long as each member of his team gets out of bed in the morning looking to get that little bit better, then there is no reason the team can’t continue to play better and break more records. The reason I retired from Test cricket at the start of 2007 was simple. One of Noddy Holder’s regular questions to me was,‘Are you willing to do what it takes to get better?’ I still loved batting and playing cricket, but my heart told me I was no longer willing to make the sacrifices of leaving my family for extended periods of time. Walking away was the toughest decision of my life, but I knew I wasn’t as committed as I needed to be in order to be one of the best players in the world and therefore a member of the Australian cricket team.
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TWO BOYS, ONE BEAR Two little boys are walking home from school. Their journey takes them down a forest path. Halfway home, they are greeted by a very hungry grizzly bear who loves eating little boys for lunch. With one eye on the bear and the other on his little mate, one of the boys slowly peels off one of the straps of his backpack. He then undoes the second strap and lowers his pack to the ground. Still watching the bear, he quietly opens up his backpack one buckle at a time. When the pack is open he takes out his brand-new running shoes, one at a time, and places them next to his feet. He then carefully takes off his school shoes and replaces them with his running shoes. He stands up slowly and stares the bear in the face. His little mate, who is shaking like a leaf, nudges his buddy and says, ‘What do you think you’re doing, you’ll never outrun this crazy bear!’ Smiling cautiously, he replies, ‘I don’t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun YOU.’ There might not be much teamwork in this little tale, but it is a lesson in always being prepared for what’s around the corner. If you concentrate on what you can do to get around obstacles that are put in front of you, you will find yourself one step ahead of the competition.
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14
COURAGE
‘Courage is finding the inner strength and bravery required when confronting danger, difficulty or opposition. Courage is the energy current behind all great actions and the spark that ignites the initial baby steps of growth. It resides deep within each of us, ready to be accessed in those moments when you need to forge ahead or break through seemingly insurmountable barriers. It is the intangible force that propels you forward on your journey.’ Cherie Carter-Scott, American author and motivational speaker
Courage takes many forms. It can be the hero who rescues a child from a burning house or a soldier on the battlefield. Courage is parenthood, going into business for yourself, quitting a ‘safe’ job you hate, or refusing to do something you know is wrong. Courage has many faces and it is not always the tough guy who is the most courageous; in fact, just being ‘tough’ is never enough. A few years ago,Wayne Bennett addressed the Australian cricket team.When he took ‘courage’ as his theme, I assumed he was going to talk about the toughest physical players he had played with or against, or had seen in his successful 74
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career as a premiership, State of Origin, and Australian coach. Rugby league is such a physical game that I assumed this presumption was only natural. Wayne had a surprise up his sleeve, though. He said that the most courageous thing he had seen in his time in rugby league was the 1999 retirement of the great halfback Allan Langer. Wayne went on to explain how courage in life takes many different forms. In this instance, Wayne had nothing but admiration for Langer’s decision to walk away from the game—despite the fact that most observers thought he was still in his prime—because Langer himself felt he no longer had the drive and commitment to give everything to his team and the game. Retirement meant giving away the lifestyle that he had enjoyed since he was a teenager and giving up many of the huge financial rewards of professional sport. As I reflected on Wayne’s words, I realised that courage is much, much more than a physical act. Having the mental courage to do the right thing is often much more demanding than having the physical courage to deal with pain or adversity. Let me give you an example, from a sport which epitomises courage in its rawest form. During Kostya Tszyu’s fight against England’s Ricky Hatton, the world watched two fighters raining savage blows on each other for 11 rounds. No one could doubt the physical courage of those two warriors. Another form of courage was displayed at the end of the 11th round, in the form of the decision taken by Johnny Lewis, Kostya’s long-time trainer. After asking Kostya three times whether he was right to fight on, Johnny made the heartfelt decision that his man wasn’t, and threw in the towel on behalf of his athlete and friend.
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Such a decision, made in the heat of battle, must have been heart-wrenching. It took immense courage for Lewis to listen to his experience and his heart and stop the fight, knowing that, by doing so, one of the greatest fighters of our time would leave the ring without his world title. In many ways Lewis’s courage was as awesome as that shown by the two fighters while they battled each other in the ring. I learned my most important lesson about mental courage during my 100th Test match, at Johannesburg, the third Test of our 2006 South African series. After being hit on the helmet by the first ball I faced, I was severely concussed. Our medical staff told me that I would not be able to bat again in the Test. Another blow to the head could have serious consequences for my health; under no circumstances would batting be worth the risk. However, as the game wore on and it became clear that we were heading for a gripping finish, my heart was telling me another story. At stumps on day four, with four wickets in hand, Australia needed 44 more runs to win the three-match series 3–0. I was one of those four wickets. Despite what the doctors had told me, how would I be able to look myself in the eye if we fell a few runs short of victory without me even trying to bat? Would people think I had ‘wimped out’ of the contest? Would I be letting down my team-mates if I didn’t bat again? These questions caused me a sleepless night prior to the final day’s play. There had been whispers from the medical staff that I would be unable to bat in the second innings, regardless of the situation, but I felt I still had to look my long-time team-mate Damien Martyn in the eye and tell him, as he was 93 not out overnight. Most of me wanted to be tough and get out there and bat for the team; but
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part of me was worried about what would happen if I took another blow to the head. As I was about to leave my hotel room on the morning of the final day, there was a knock at the door. There, looking very serious, was my dad, who had flown over for the Test. He too had passed a sleepless night, weighing up every possibility. Like Johnny Lewis, Dad was thinking about his fighter. He was thinking about my health, my family—in sum, the overall scheme of my life. Dad felt the situation needed to be put in a broader perspective, that the crux of the matter was not about me trying to be a hero. In many ways, Dad’s approach to the situation went against everything he believed in, because he is the sort of person who would have batted with two broken arms. This gave his advice even more weight. I knew he wasn’t speaking lightly. When we arrived at the ground, Steve Bernard, our highly regarded team manager, was categorical in his response. ‘Under no circumstance will I allow you to go out there and bat, whether you want to or not,’ he said. ‘If I have to, I will use my authority to stop you from putting yourself at any further risk.’ I realised the prospects of me being a foolish hero were diminishing by the minute. I now had to address my team-mates and explain to them that the doctors and team management wouldn’t allow me to bat. Right or wrong, everyone knew that a definitive decision had to be made. As my mouth uttered the words, my head was asking if I was hiding behind the ‘doctors and management’. Was it easier for me to put the blame on them, rather than say it was my decision? Standing in front of the team on that morning was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, because I was looking some of my closest mates in the eye and telling
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them I wouldn’t be able to be there at the finish with them. They were all supportive, but I could sense that some of the boys were questioning whether I was making the right decision and following my heart. I knew Matty Hayden wanted me to follow my instincts and do what I truly thought was the right thing to do, which was to get out there and bat. As the drama of the final morning progressed, with ‘Marto’ reaching his hundred and getting out straight after, my heart began to overrule my head. When Stuart Clark was dismissed, we were still 17 runs adrift and I began pleading with Ricky for permission to bat. But Ricky was adamant: under no circumstances would he allow me to take the risk. It was a courageous stance and one I would later admire, because— like Dad and Steve Bernard—he was willing to lose a Test match for the wellbeing of one of his players. However, by the time the target was down to eight runs, still with two wickets in hand, my heart had overruled my head. Against all advice, I was out the back of the dressing room, padded up, skipping around, swinging my bat and setting myself to bat like I had hundreds of times before. The doctors and captain were going white, worrying about their duty of care, but my mind was made up: if another wicket fell, someone would have to handcuff me to the changing-room door to stop me from re-entering the fray. The emotion of the moment had taken over. I knew I wasn’t being sensible, but I also knew that what I was doing was right. With every delivery, every run, the tension edged closer to boiling point. I was more nervous than ever before, but for the first time since I retired hurt on the second day of the Test, I knew I was doing the right thing. As it turned out, Brett Lee and Michael Kasprowicz
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took us to an amazing victory. As the winning run was scored, the elation within the Australian dressing room was electrifying. Any team gets pumped after a close win, but on this occasion feelings ran higher than ever, as we reflected on a remarkable Test. The events of that match taught me a couple of important lessons. First, I will never forget the look in my team-mates’ eyes when they knew that despite everything, I was willing to go out and bat.They knew that when it had really counted, I had defied all advice to stand shoulder to shoulder with them. Second, I realised that sometimes the bravest thing to do is to have the courage to make a clear decision based on what your heart and your gut are telling you. The toughest thing might be to make the decision, but it also takes courage to follow that decision through with actions. Unless you are prepared to translate your brave words into action, all you are doing is trying to fool yourself and everyone around you.
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DISCIPLINE AND COURAGE It takes discipline and courage to look a man in the eyes rather than at his feet. It takes discipline and courage to train when it is wet and cold. It takes discipline and courage to tell the truth rather than a lie. It takes discipline and courage to keep focused on your dreams. It takes discipline and courage to master the basics. It takes discipline and courage to practise under pressure. It takes discipline and courage to get out of bed early. It takes discipline and courage to keep running when you are spent. It takes discipline and courage to do the little things. It takes discipline and courage to watch your manners. It takes discipline and courage to do an extra lap. It takes discipline and courage to trust yourself. It takes discipline and courage to guard against complacency. It takes discipline and courage to be honest with yourself. It takes discipline and courage to be the first on the training track. It takes discipline and courage to choose right over wrong. It takes discipline and courage to be on time. It takes discipline and courage to fight back rather than quit. It takes discipline and courage to stick to your game plan. It takes discipline and courage to lead by example. It takes discipline and courage to listen and learn. It takes discipline and courage to say no. It takes discipline and courage to make it to the top. Justin Langer
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15
THE TATTOO MAN
‘Letting go . . . is the great escape. Until you do, your wings have no shape.’ Clive Walters
It was just a regular day before a Test match for a couple of my team-mates and me: a tough training session in the morning, followed by lunch and a coffee in one of the local cafés. On this particular afternoon in 2004, I walked into the Inbox Café in Cairns, and almost immediately I was struck by the magnificent framed drawing of a cross displayed on one of the walls. The detail in this picture was amazing. As I walked closer, I saw that it had been drawn by a black-ink pen on a piece of thick paper. To me, it was a spectacular piece of artwork. I sat down to order lunch and promptly proclaimed to Michael Kasprowicz and Simon Katich that I was going to have ‘that cross’ tattooed underneath my left arm. ‘Kasper’ and ‘Kato’ asked me what on earth I was talking about. ‘I’ve been trying to design a tattoo for years,’ I explained, ‘and although I’ve had many drawn up, the design has never been quite right.’ 81
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Neither of my mates had any idea that I was so fascinated by tattoos, but as I told them about my desire to incorporate a cross and my daughters’ names into a piece of body art they both encouraged me to ring the artist who had created the art on show at the café. Two days after leaving my name on the artist’s message service, I received a call from a man named Clive Walters, and before I knew it I was on my way to the Inbox Café to have a coffee with a complete stranger. Within minutes of shaking hands, we had fallen into a deep conversation about his drawings and his life. Four hours later, I had paid my new friend for his work and was walking back to the hotel holding a drawing of my potential tattoo. Over the next few days I met with Clive a couple more times and we remain friends today. Clive’s story is an interesting one. At the age of 53, he walked away from the ‘high life’ to search for what he calls ‘inner peace’ and new meaning for his life. Clive’s career in the airline, restaurant and corporate training industries had brought him plenty of material rewards but he was unsettled and unfulfilled. He let go of his former life. In his own words, he ‘finally found the courage’ to opt out of a life which was wearing him down and sapping him of his passion and energy. In just 10 days, he moved from a corner office in a North Sydney high-rise to a two-man tent in a caravan park at Byron Bay on the far north coast of New South Wales. Here, he met and shared his tent with an Alaskan Indian totem pole carver who was in Australia to carve the first ‘unity’ pole of the new millennium. To this day, this fellow is still travelling to wherever his carving takes him. Clive encouraged me to ‘let go’ of all my worries about the future, and to let myself enjoy the journey of my life
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and my career. After listening to my philosophy on life and my description of the various goals I was striving for, Clive told me: You have to let go and know that the universe knows what you want and knows how to bring it to you. The trick is to set your goals and know where you want to go. But then, and most importantly, it is to have the courage to let it all go and trust that by living every day and every moment with passion and love, your dreams will ultimately come true. Live your dreams, don’t just dream that you are living them. Every day is a gift, and while we can aspire to reach certain targets in life we must never forget to enjoy every moment of the journey. By living like this, you will be much happier and ultimately much more successful because health and happiness must be much more important than how big your house is or how many cars you have in the driveway. These things are nice, but if they make life frantic and unenjoyable then they have little worth at all. There is no dress rehearsal in life. You have one chance at it and often the side of you that you wish to see more of is the side that will disappoint others rather than disappoint you.
Clive’s take on life made a lot of sense to me. Often, I have let myself be sidetracked by the end result rather than the all-important process or journey. There have been times when I have neglected the most important things in my life either to please other people, or just to make one more business deal. Even when I have known I was sacrificing time with my family, friends or myself, I’ve got myself caught up in the hustle and bustle of that so-called
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‘high life’.What I now know is that it is usually the simplest pleasures that make us the happiest, rather than the constant striving for fame or fortune. As Clive said, ‘Often the side of you that you wish to see more of is the side that will disappoint others.’ Recently I read a wonderful quote: Most of us miss out on life’s big prizes. The Pulitzer, the Nobel, Oscars, Emmys, Grammys. But we are all eligible for life’s smallest pleasures. A pat on the back. A kiss behind the ear. A four-pound barramundi. A full moon. An empty parking space. A crackling fire. A great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup. Cold beer. A laugh with your mates. Don’t fret about getting life’s grand awards. Enjoy its tiny delights. There are plenty there for all of us.
As another of my great mentors, Nigel Wray, reminds me, progress isn’t a straight line but rather a series of ups and downs, hopefully taking you in the right direction. By letting go of the outcome, enjoying the small things, concentrating on the process and riding the journey’s highs and lows, there is no reason why everyone can’t enjoy success and happiness. While Clive Walters may have gone far further than most to change his life, his message has been a spur to me since that day we first met. Even if I were to forget his words, the tattoo man has left me a timely reminder on my left arm for the rest of my days.
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SIMPLICITY Till now, I feel I’ve played around, Tested life’s water with my toe. Now, it’s time to truly understand All the things that I know. I need to be responsible, In the purest sense of the word. And this I find most difficult, Whilst I am an integral part of the herd. My need is to sustain myself With the necessities of life. Not to look to outside sources, Which bring turmoil and strife. I see me, waking with the sun, Ready for the day’s reflection— And entering my learning space In the garden of nature’s perfection. My only labour to perform Is to care for my bodily needs, To relieve it, when pressure is felt, And when hungry—make sure it feeds. For the remainder, I simply reflect. I go inside and learn. Not about mankind but about me, And about the freedom for which I yearn. I know that to walk this path, I must remove myself from the herd. To find space where freedom dwells, And fly through life, like a bird. Clive Walters
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16
WORRY
‘A single conversation over the table with a wise man is worth a month’s study with books.’ Chinese proverb
A friend once told me that ‘worry is like a rocking chair: you go backwards and forwards and nowhere’. He then went on to say, ‘One of the worst things about worry is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, we jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. Indecision is counterproductive, and a symptom of poor concentration and lack of focus on what’s important.’ If I had any regrets when I retired from international cricket, they would be for the time and energy I wasted worrying. My worries always centred on what might or might not happen in the future, or on what had happened in the past. I worried about what people thought of me and what the critics were writing about me in the newspapers. I worried about how my rivals were performing and if I would be selected for the next game. As a seasoned worrier, I have learned the hard way that the more time I devote to a negative issue, the more it 86
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invades my world, and the less chance I have to enjoy what I am doing. I could be playing an Ashes series or living it up in one of the world’s best hotels, but as soon as I let the demons of uncertainty distract me from the moment, my level of pleasure plummeted. My grandma made the best cheese and pickle sandwiches in the world. They were never all that healthy, because she spread the butter as thick as the cheese, but the bread was always fresh and they always tasted great. Whenever I dropped in, I could be sure of a cheese and pickle sandwich, a cup of tea and some home-made cake. As well as the feed, I could also rely on plenty of laughs, a solid hug and a few pearls of wisdom. One day, as we sat eating our lunch, I was telling Nan about a problem I had and how I was worried about what was going to happen. When I had finished, she looked at me for a few seconds and then asked, ‘Is there anything you can do about it?’ ‘No,’ I replied. ‘Well, then, there’s no use in worrying about it is there, love?’ Then she said, ‘If you can do something about it, there is no use worrying about it, and if you can’t do anything about it then there is no use worrying about it either, is there? Worry in life is the biggest waste of time in the world.’ Nan then gave me a small card that had come from her local parish church. On it was a quote from Matthew’s Gospel: ‘Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’ One of the most dangerous things about worrying is that it forces you into a negative mind-set. The only way I have found to get out of this trap is to focus on what I can
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do to eliminate the problem. If I’m having trouble with my batting, for example, instead of sitting around and stewing about it I commit to getting into the practice nets to iron out the problems. I know I can’t fix the problem by sitting on my backside feeling sorry for myself. There were times when I questioned my position in the Australian team, but rather than sulking and worrying, I’d ask myself what I had to do to perform at my best and thus heighten my chances of success. Runs were my currency of value, but instead of painting a negative picture of what might happen if I didn’t make any, I pushed myself to maximise my ability to make as many as I possibly could. The words most closely associated with worry are ‘What if ’. Once you realise this, you can keep an eye on the negative thoughts going through your mind.When the ‘What ifs’ enter my mind, I simply put another little word in front of the question and that word is ‘So’. Only two letters, but what a difference they make. If I find myself worrying ‘What if I don’t make any runs today?’, I can put everything in perspective by saying to myself, ‘SO what if I don’t make any runs today?’ I know that whatever may happen, it won’t be the end of the world and I will do everything I can to make runs the next time I get a chance to bat. This strategy can work in almost all cases of worry, for example, ‘What if I put on weight on my holidays?’ Add the word SO before ‘What if ’, enjoy your break, and reassure yourself that you will do something about it when you get home. ‘What if people don’t like what I am wearing to the party?’ Add SO before ‘What if ’, and remind yourself that as long as you feel good then that is all that matters.
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Like most people, the picture I paint in my mind of what might happen or what people might think about me is generally much bleaker than the reality. One of my greatest daily challenges is to trust the future by giving today my best shot.
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17
IMBALANCE
‘There are things in life (exams, meetings, appointments, etc.) that one must take seriously, but one mustn’t make them a matter of life and death. There are other, more important matters in the world. Therefore study hard, but don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.’ Andrea Bocelli, in his autobiography, The Music of Silence
When I talk about the concept of ‘balance’ in sportspeople, people automatically think of the technical and bodily components of being physically balanced. There is no doubt that keeping my head still and my eye firmly on the ball, and maintaining good footwork patterns, enable me to move in a balanced fashion whether I am batting or fielding. This skill can be taught and learned, and I have no doubt that poise and steadiness on my feet have been major contributors to my success as a cricketer. In sport, just as in life, one of the common denominators of the most successful athletes is ‘balance’. But this balance goes further than simply the physical balance that I described in the opening paragraph. Finding and maintaining balance in my life has also been critical to my longevity as a 90
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professional sportsman. Most of the champions I have come across have been able to compartmentalise their lives in order to sustain a healthy equilibrium between their career and their personal existence. However, there have been a few who have had trouble finding a happy balance and as a result have suffered stress-related illnesses or have turned to alcohol and drugs to escape the so-called ‘glamour’ that comes with being a high-profile sports star. In my eyes, my brother Jonathon is undoubtedly one of the champions. On the surface, he has it all, but a couple of years ago he went through a rough time in which he lost that balance and as a result he lost his health and happiness, too. His story is an inspiration to me. In his words, it goes like this: I have always set and achieved goals. I have always been a ‘successful’ person. I relentlessly pursued my goals. No matter what I had or did, I wanted more: more hours in the day, a larger income, a better golf swing, a fitter body. Everything was done at 100 per cent. But I never even recognised this was my nature. I wasn’t greedy, just driven, and I didn’t recognise that this could impact so negatively on my life. I never considered that I might need a better balance in my life. Even in the context of this story, the supremely easier option would have been to disregard the advice and direction I received as illogical and irrelevant. It was a Saturday night. I was in a great mood (as I generally was), looking forward to a night out. Without apparent reason or warning, I became lightheaded and felt as if a wave was flushing through my body. This passed, but I do not know quite how to describe how I felt afterwards, except to say I just did not feel right. Not bad enough to cancel my evening, just not right.
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At the time I just put it down to fatigue. I had been working hard to develop my business, which was expanding more rapidly than I had expected. I’d taken on more work than I could handle. My working days became longer and my leisure time became shorter. But I was not complaining. I saw this situation as an indication of my success, and continued to work with great intensity. Over the next few weeks, I developed numerous subtle symptoms that indicated something was not right. None was severe enough on its own to concern me, but collectively they did. I explained to the first GP I visited that I just wasn’t feeling myself. I described the occasional lightheadedness that continued to come over me from time to time, the buzzing in one ear, and the interruptions to my previously uncompromised sleep patterns. I spent no time in hospital and never stopped working. For three or four months I continued to power through my ‘ideal life’ with the help of sleeping tablets and a self-belief (or self-denial) that my malaise would eventually right itself. I was prescribed numerous medications, but I refused to take them, because I knew that they were simply about covering up my symptoms, not fixing them. I had no diagnosis for what I was experiencing. Medical tests suggested there was nothing physically wrong with me, so eventually I had to consider a range of psychological disorders. But I was reluctant to accept such a proposition. It is an unfortunate reflection on society that many of the symptoms I was experiencing are trivialised and even accepted as being part of modern living. How many people regularly need a sleeping pill to get their required hours of sleep? There is a multi-million dollar industry built around drugs designed to regulate sleep. This is a testament to society’s collective loss of homeostasis.
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I was desperate to return to normal. Aside from my wife, my family, and my closest friends, nobody recognised that anything was amiss. It was, however, a huge effort to ‘act’ like myself every day, to ‘act’ like the person that everybody knew and expected to see when they walked into my clinic or house. In a business that deals with many people every day, this ‘act’ became very tiring. As the pattern of my life continued to spiral downwards, I eventually received the advice that I was crying out for. A very close friend of mine recommended that I visit a stress-management consultant whom she had visited and had great respect for. I explained to my friend that, until recently, I had never felt stressed in my life, and doubted that this would be worthwhile, but when she persisted I agreed to check out the consultant. For 90 minutes, I described my life to a complete stranger. I am 30 years old and fortunate enough to be married to a woman who is not only kind, loving, thoughtful, motivated and successful, but beautiful as well. I run a successful business. We own our home and are free of financial concern. I have a fantastic family who give endless love and support. I have many close friends and spend great times with them. I love to keep fit and healthy and work hard to do so. I spoke of all this with vigour and pride, and at the end of it felt guilty for being in her office. What 99 per cent of the population would give to have my life! So what was wrong? What had changed and why did I not feel like myself? At the end of my monologue, the consultant had an expression on her face that was extremely reassuring. It suggested she had heard this story many times before and that I was not the only ungrateful ‘successful’ person in this world. With the beauty of hindsight, that look was a defining moment in my recovery from a condition that
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had insidiously permeated my existence. Her expression was not only one of hope and direction, but also of empathy for someone who had charged through life with vigour and intensity. The irony was that it was that same vigour and intensity that was overpowering critical aspects of my life. My problem, she said, is one encountered by many ‘high achievers’. I was operating in overdrive, all the time. My system, she explained, was stressed out. I was burnt out! In essence, I had lost balance in my life and as a result the happy, calm, successful person I thought I was had been diminished. Our society’s understanding or interpretation of the term ‘stress’ often implies a loss of external control. We picture the stressed-out executive as someone who is 30 kg overweight, with blood pressure through the roof, a temper as short as a fuse, pulling hair from his or her scalp, flying into fits of rage. We never realise that an eight-year-old child or the elite athlete on a multi-million dollar contract or a retired 62-year-old with only green pastures ahead may suffer from stress disorders. Or a successful 30-something with the so-called perfect life. What I have learned from my experience is that creating better balance in life is not as simple as following a recipe. It requires constant reassessment and an investment of time and energy into things other than just work. Respecting and fostering relationships with family, friends and spouses is essential; community contributions, hobbies, spiritual development and personal goals are all areas that encourage better productivity, relaxation and, ultimately, equilibrium in my life. Like attaining a high level of fitness, you cannot stop once you reach a certain point, because if you do you will quickly lose the benefits of your training. There are many aspects of
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life that require nurturing and commitment. What I came to realise is that work is one aspect of our lives that too often demands a disproportionate amount of time and energy at the expense of many other crucial elements required to live a harmonious and balanced existence. I know now that you have to recognise this fact before you can correct the things that are causing your life to be imbalanced.
I showed Jonathon’s words to a former rival and now team-mate at Somerset, Marcus Trescothick, who had gone through a very public ordeal with stress-related issues. Just like my brother, you would have to travel a long way to find a better person than Marcus—and on the outside at least it would seem he had the perfect life. In reality, though, Marcus was finding it tough. After reading about my brother’s ordeal he just smiled, shook his head knowingly and said, ‘I know exactly what he is talking about.’ Stress can affect anyone. For many people, it comes after they’ve lost a sense of balance. Of course, it is easy to sit back and tell someone to set things straight, but often much harder to do. During my cricket career, there were many times when, looking back, things got out of kilter and my performance or mind-set suffered. I’m not saying I solved the work–life balance conundrum definitively, but I know I did some things that got my house in order. Let me tell you about them . . .
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18
BALANCE
‘There is more to life than increasing its speed.’ Mahatma Gandhi
Having the ability to recognise aspects of my life that lacked balance was essential to creating a plan for its restoration. From recognition came a plan to eliminate or at least manage stress-related issues. I am particularly grateful to concepts initially introduced to me in Buddhism for Busy People, a book by David Michie. These concepts can broadly be divided into two categories: those relating to meditation and mindfulness, and those designed to help us achieve a more accurate and positive perspective on our experiences. A deeper understanding of my mind has strengthened my ability to resist distraction and improved my ability to manage issues in my life—both personal and professional. I am able to experience events without allowing an incorrect or negative interpretation of them to trigger the ‘flight or fight response’ that is responsible for the body’s reaction to danger. It also made me question the motivations behind my existence and my actions. Why was I working so hard? 96
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What was I striving for? The answer to these and similar questions led to an undeniable shift in my priorities and aspirations. The practice of mindfulness and meditation has had a significant impact on my wellbeing.When we meditate there is a shift in brain activity, which is accompanied by a relaxation response affecting the entire nervous system.This results in a reduction in stress hormones, lowered blood pressure and heart rate, and a slowed metabolism. Cardiologist Herbert Benson, the founder of the BensonHenry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital, has researched the effects of meditation on the body for over 30 years. According to Benson, ‘The relaxation response helps decrease metabolism, lowers blood pressure and heart rate and slows breathing and brain waves. Just about any condition that is either caused or made worse by stress can be helped with meditation.’ Other research has shown that people who have regularly meditated for five years or more have a biological age on average 12 years lower than their chronological age. Similarly, regular meditators have been found to have a much higher level of the hormone called DHEA than those who do not meditate—DHEA levels normally reduce with age. The benefits of meditation are being proven by research into its effects on blood pressure, heart rate, brain activity, breathing rate, hormone levels and many other indicators of health and wellbeing. My experience of the powerful effects of meditation preceded my awareness and understanding of the scientific data and research. It has helped me to find inner peace, self-awareness and spirituality, and no degree of research can describe the profound effect this has had and will have on my life. ‘Mindfulness’ is a skill that allows a conscious awareness of what is happening right now. It is learning how to listen
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to our minds, our bodies and our external environment. I have found keeping a journal or writing down my thoughts so they don’t float around in my mind unattended has also had a profound effect on my wellbeing. Exercise is also a powerful and effective method of stress release. It burns up harmful excesses of stress hormones, fats and sugars that are released throughout our day. It can increase the flow of endorphins through our body and improve self-esteem. Activities such as yoga improve flexibility and total body oxygenation, while massage aids relaxation and blood flow. Running, swimming and walking give me a chance to spend some time with myself, while also enjoying the physical benefits the actual exercise confers. I have also found that taking time out to enjoy different hobbies or pursuits is also worthwhile. Writing, painting, gardening and music help me tune out from work; sitting on a jetty or drinking coffee with a friend has the same remedial benefits. The common denominator between all these things— from meditation, to meandering from the jetty to the coffee shop—is that they involve a deliberate slowdown, time to ‘smell the roses’, as the cliché goes. My view is that relaxation is the key; how one does it is up to the individual. Another good friend of mine, Mark Ramprakash, gave me an interesting answer when I questioned him about his phenomenal performances in the twilight of his career in English county cricket. Mark smiled and said, ‘I joined a golf club.’ Golf, he explained, was his escape from work. He was certain his ability to ‘turn off ’ in his down time was significant for his success. Whether it’s Test cricket, business or anything else, I am sure that without balance it is impossible to compete
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successfully. Throughout my life, I have observed that the glamorous life of the rich and famous is hardly enticing if poor health and a frowning face are the rewards for all the hard work. There is no use having all the money in the world and living the ‘perfect’ life if the pursuit of this utopia involves only the one-way traffic of work, work, work. Of course, it is easy to tell someone to ease the workload, but much harder for that person to actually do so if they are worried that in the future the work might not be there. Similarly, a batsman is always worried that the runs might dry up one day. My brother is just one example of a large number of self-employed people who work too hard today because they can’t be assured that they’ll still be in demand in a few months time. I’m sure this is true of many people who work in businesses, large and small. Conquering this insecurity is challenging, but in my view it comes back to that old adage Steve Waugh made famous: ‘Back yourself ’. There’s a reason plenty of people want you to help them and work for them. You have to believe that if you keep working hard and smart, with your life in balance, you’ll stay in demand and things will evolve the way you want. I understand this isn’t easy, but the alternative—if you work too hard—is the dreaded burn-out. Balance is as critical to me as a person as it is for me as a professional athlete. I try to smell those roses when I can, and when I’m not I remind myself of the story of the famous monk who was relaxing with his disciples outside his hut, laughing and joking. As the monk sat and laughed, a hunter came by and expressed surprise at what he was seeing. The hunter’s perception of a holy monk was of a quiet man, always deep in prayer or meditation, not of a chirpy individual lazing about, laughing with his friends. The monk said to
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the hunter, ‘Bend your bow and shoot an arrow.’ After the hunter did this, the monk asked him to do so again . . . and again . . . and again. Eventually, the hunter objected, saying, ‘If I keep my bow always stretched, it will break.’ The monk smiled. ‘The same is true of us,’ he said. ‘If we do not relax from time to time, we too will break.’
THE CONTENTED FISHERMAN During a brief holiday, a rich businessman was horrified to find a local fisherman lying lazily beside his boat, smoking a pipe. ‘Why aren’t you out fishing?’ asked the executive. ‘Because I have caught enough fish for the day,’ replied the fisherman. ‘Why don’t you catch some more?’ ‘What would I do with them?’ ‘You could earn some more money,’ was the reply. ‘With that you could have a motor fixed to your boat and go into deeper water and catch more fish. Then you would make enough to buy nylon nets. These would bring you more fish and more money. Soon you would have enough money to own two boats . . . maybe even a fleet of boats. Then you would be a rich man like me.’ ‘What would I do then?’ ‘Then you could really enjoy life.’ ‘What do you think I am doing right now?’
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19
RESPECT
‘My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.’ Henry Ford
John Andrew has skin like old leather, and arms and legs that look as if they’re made of steel and thick wire rather than blood and bone. He is one of the old school—in his approach to both martial arts and life. There is no grey area with him. He doesn’t tolerate fools lightly. Once, after a session at the dojo, I was having a shower. I’d left my toiletries at home, and innocently asked my sensei (Japanese for ‘master’) if he had any soap in his shower cubicle. John’s head appeared over the partition: Soap! You don’t need soap! Soap is for girls because it makes your skin soft. If your skin is soft, then it will cut a lot easier. Leave the soap for the girls so your skin can toughen up a bit . . .
Over the years, my sensei has taught me many lessons about life, and as a friend he keeps an eye on everything I do. Between them, John and the martial arts have trained me in areas such as respect, discipline, patience and self-control. 101
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The martial arts not only taught me how to defend myself, they also showed me that the toughest people are often the ones who sit in the corner and observe the chaos, rather than those pushing their weight around and starting fights. As a teenager, I was a short kid who used to mouth off on occasions and be a bit brash. Perhaps this cockiness came from insecurity, from wanting to be a part of the group, but my go was to ‘lip off ’, act all tough and then disappear behind my bigger, stronger mates as they finished off whatever had been started. Thankfully, my attitude changed over time. John would remind me: Remember, there is always someone out there who is tougher than you and there are also people out there who will hurt you without blinking or thinking of the consequences. Fighting is a mug’s game left for mugs. The tough guys walk away and keep quiet if they can.
John’s dojo was called ‘Sunrise Dojo’. We would train at 6 a.m., three or four mornings a week, which in itself took a great deal of discipline and commitment. By definition, a dojo can be any place where martial arts are taught and learned. I love Joe Hyams’ description of a dojo: A miniature cosmos where we make contact with ourselves —our fears, anxieties, reactions and habits. It is an arena of confined conflict where we confront an opponent who is not an opponent but rather a partner engaged in helping us understand ourselves more fully. It is a place where we can learn a great deal in a short time about who we are and how we react in the world. The conflicts that take place inside the dojo help us handle conflicts that take place outside. The total
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concentration and discipline required to study martial arts carries over to daily life.
So it was at Sunrise Dojo. It was an old industrial shed, fixed up with a boxing ring, punching bags, a few weights and the dojo floor, or mat, where most of our instruction took place. It wasn’t particularly fancy, but it was an extremely effective and energising place to be. In essence, the Sunrise Dojo was much more than its physical elements and surroundings, just as there is so much more to martial arts than the physical training. Like batting, martial arts are not just about mastering technique. The physical element is one thing, but the lessons generated by that physical element contain the real meaning for the student. If all there was to it was punching and kicking (or hitting the ball), then there wouldn’t be much difference between the student in the dojo and a puppet on a string. The real lessons are about respect, concentration, discipline, perseverance, commitment and spirit—essential travel companions on the journey of striving for excellence. Not long after I had started training at Sunrise Dojo I bowed onto the mat, a simple act of respect for the dojo floor, the sensei and the lesson to be taught. On this particular morning, before I knew what had happened, I received a whack to the back of my head which sent me sprawling face-down onto the mat. After heaving myself up onto all fours, I looked over my shoulder to see John towering over me. Bewildered, I asked him what I had done to deserve such an early morning wake-up call. Sternly, he told me I had broken the code of respect by walking in front of him on the dojo floor:
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Never walk in front of a higher-ranked martial artist while you are on the floor; for that matter you should never walk in front of your elders or people you respect.
These days a teacher could be sued for such an action, but the toughest lessons are often the best. In a split second, John had taught me about respect and today I am thankful he did, even though it seemed harsh at the time. Further down the track, I had the opportunity to earn my black gi. The black gi is the step before the black belt and recognises fighting spirit and the courage to fight under extreme pressure. After months of training I was physically very fit, but I arrived at the dojo nervous and questioning my ability to get through the grading. For 15 two-minute rounds I would have to stand toe-to-toe in the boxing ring with my training partners, Neville Jefferies, Jeremy Jones and, of course, sensei John Andrew. Neville was a 40-year-old marathon runner who loved the martial arts, while Jeremy was an Italian motor mechanic with arms like tree trunks. Sensei was sensei. For what felt like an eternity, my partners alternated round for round, testing my endurance, skill and courage. By the end of the grading, I was physically spent. My nose was bleeding, my eyes swollen and I felt as if I had been hit by a car, but months of preparation allowed me to get through the contest. When I was presented with my gi, I stood tall as my training partners congratulated me like proud fathers embrace their sons. After the physical mauling endured through the grading it dawned on me that another lesson had been learned. On the way home, I cried my eyes out until I reached our driveway—a sight that must have looked strange. Here
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I was, bruised, battered and wearing my sweaty old martial arts outfit, supposedly the tough guy, and I was sobbing like a baby. The tears were more from relief than anything else. After months of gruelling preparation, I had won the battle. All my hard work had paid dividends and that made me proud and relieved. I also knew that my grading ultimately was about respect. I had earned the respect of my peers by completing the test. When I looked into the mirror I had earned selfrespect. Getting through this test meant I could get through anything. Respect has to be earned—by testing yourself and taking on challenges, by overcoming obstacles and by giving something a go with all your heart and soul. Respect is also gained by making good life choices, by at all times being honest with yourself and with others, and by being loyal in the toughest of times. Respect, to me, is one of the most vital ingredients of integrity and, ultimately, of a person’s character. Respect can be earned and it can be learned. It takes courage in both cases, and it is a crucial part of living with inner peace. This was brought home to me more strongly than ever in my final innings in Test cricket. Needing 46 to complete a 5–0 clean sweep of the 2006–07 Ashes series, I walked into the Sydney Cricket Ground dressing room to pad up for my last innings as an Australian cricketer. Just as I was about to enter the cauldron, my great mate Adam Gilchrist looked at me and gave me an emotional pat on the back. ‘Good luck, champ,’ he muttered with a quiver in his voice. Considering I still had to face England’s fast bowlers one final time, the last thing I needed to do was get upset
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before I walked out, so I just smiled at him and prepared for one last battle. Trying to remain as calm as possible, I marched outside, to be greeted by my dad, who was waiting to see me before I entered the arena. He grabbed my hand and, as Gilly had done, wished me luck with a strong handshake and a tear in his eye. By the time I walked onto the field I was a little rattled. At this point, my long-time friend and opening partner Matty Hayden put his arm around my neck and we exchanged a few sentimental words about our time together in the baggy green cap. By now, I was hardly in a state to face the fire of Test cricket. Then I looked up to see the most extraordinary sight. The England players had formed a ‘guard of honour’ in the centre of the ground. At this moment, I was gobsmacked and fighting to hold it together. As I walked between the Englishmen it struck me that if you can earn respect in life then that is pretty much as good as it gets. I have learned that not everyone is going to like me and I can’t be friends with everyone, but if I can earn people’s respect by my actions then I can walk away feeling content and happy. England’s guard of honour was the icing on the cake for me—I knew I was retiring as a respected member of the cricket community, which for me was worth more than all the gold in the world.
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20
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
‘There is nothing noble in being superior to others. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.’ Indian proverb
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is one of the most recognisable people on the planet. Although she doesn’t know it, she is also someone who taught me a very valuable lesson. During my life I have been privileged to meet some of the world’s most fascinating and ‘famous’ people. A number of them have been amazing, others slightly different from what I had been expecting, and a few completely different from what I had been expecting. I have had the honour of meeting the Queen twice, each time for only a matter of minutes, yet she is, without doubt, one of the most memorable people to whom I have ever been introduced. Often when you meet dignitaries or people who’ve been tagged as ‘important’, you receive nothing more than a nod of the head or a passing glance. Sometimes they have shaken your hand and moved on to the next person before you’ve got your mouth into the ‘smile’ position. When someone does this to me, I feel like squeezing their hand and pulling 107
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them back in front of me to force some semblance of eye contact and, at the very least, a polite murmur and an acknowledgement of my existence. In 1997, the Australian cricket team was on the Ashes trail in England. As is the tradition, we’d been invited to visit Buckingham Palace and meet the Queen. When we arrived at the Palace, we were ushered into a large reception area where we were offered tea and scones while waiting for Her Majesty. After a short wait, we heard the light tinkling sound of a bell, the signal to form a line and be on our best behaviour. Within seconds, our relaxed mood had turned into complete and utter trepidation, as a loud voice introduced the Queen’s arrival. A pair of grand wooden doors slowly opened and there, about 10 metres in front of me, was the Queen of England. I was amazed at the way my body reacted. As soon as I saw her I stood erect like a tin soldier and the tingling down the back of my neck and spine was stronger than any I had ever experienced. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she walked towards our line, as I tried to come to terms with the fact that I was just moments away from being introduced formally to the Queen of England. Making her way down the line, she stopped in front of each of my team-mates, looked them in the eyes and offered them a firm but very feminine handshake. When it came to my turn, she took my hand, looked me straight in the eyes and said, ‘I am pleased to meet you.’ No big deal in one sense, but for me it was a major moment.The Queen makes hundreds of public appearances, and must be introduced to thousands of people every year, but she still had the human decency and courtesy to look me in the eyes when she shook my hand.
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The encounter was over in seconds. Yet I will never forget that moment, when the Queen made me feel like I was the only person in the world. When I’m talking to or training young people, I encourage them to take the time to emulate the Queen of England’s handshake. I tell them that if she could take the time and effort to look me in the eyes, when mine is only one of the hundreds of thousands of hands she has shaken during her life, then there is no reason why they cannot do the same. It often takes courage and confidence to look someone in the eyes when you are shaking their hands or talking with them, but it is worth it because initial impressions count. Looking someone in the eyes shows them respect and indicates confidence and honesty—traits of a person with strong character. Looking someone in the eyes also suggests you have a genuine interest in meeting them and that your handshake is a personal gift from you to them. After that handshake we had the opportunity to have a cup of tea and listen to Her Majesty talk briefly about her love for her grandsons and her passion for horses. Knowing that a couple of my team-mates are equally passionate about the races, and with many of the guys being parents, I realised that, regardless of a person’s status or fame, each of us has interests and lives that may be, in some ways at least, not too dissimilar. After all, everybody, despite their background, their wealth or their position, has to perform ‘everyday’ duties in order to live. We all have to breathe, we all have to eat and drink, we all wear clothes to keep us warm and we all have the same bodily functions. Perhaps our most significant differences lie in our attitudes and in our behaviour. She may be one of the richest and most famous people in the world, but that day in 1997 the
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Queen of England showed me she still had the humility to display traits of human decency and courtesy, characteristics I believe we all should share. I will always be indebted to those who gave me the chance to meet her, and inspired by the memory of our meeting.
NO ROOM FOR ERROR The Queen’s son, Prince Andrew, displays the same humility and humour as his mother. On that same day in 1997, during a brief conversation with the Prince, I innocently asked if he knew every room in the Palace. He shot me a quizzical glance before replying, ‘Of course, don’t you know every room in your house?’ I felt about two feet tall, but at least his response broke a little of the nervous tension of the event and I think those around me were a little more at ease. Prince Andrew, meanwhile, gave me a pat on the shoulder and a consolatory smile, before wandering off to give further consideration to my ridiculous question.
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21
LEADERSHIP
‘I would rather be a lion for a day than a sheep for a life.’ Sister Elizabeth Kenny, pioneering Australian nurse
Great leaders set the example. They walk the talk and they perform when the pressure is on. They also follow through with their vision and make things happen.The best generals in any organisation have a way of inspiring their troops by their actions as much as their words. During the 2006–07 Ashes series my fondest memory is one that involved our captain, Ricky Ponting. At the start of the third day of the second Test match, in Adelaide, we were under the pump. England had declared the previous afternoon at 6–551, and I had been dismissed before the close of play, leaving us 1–28 at stumps. The newspapers had written us off and there was strong talk that England would repeat the turn of momentum that had occurred when they won back the Ashes in England in 2005. A couple of minutes before our warm-up began, Ricky walked into the centre of the group, stared into our eyes, crossed his arms, and scowled, ‘There isn’t a single person in this world who thinks we can win this game from here.’ 111
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Gritting his teeth, he lowered his voice and said, ‘Let’s just see about that.’ With that he turned his back, picked up his bat and gloves and started to knock up some balls in preparation for the day ahead. With his words came a tingling down the collective spine of his troops; a tingle that turned into an electric shock when our captain went out and scored another magnificent Test century. His innings and steely determination proved to be the catalyst for one of the most incredible comeback victories by an Australian cricket team. Not only did our general say the right things, but he had the courage, skill and mental toughness to follow through on his sentiments. I have always thought it is one thing to say the right things; anyone can do that. But it is another thing, and without doubt the defining quality of the champion, to actually do the right thing. The best leaders I have come across stand tall and lead by example in everything they do. There is an old maxim which states: If you preach excellence but walk mediocrity, you are nothing more than a common liar.
In their time as captain of the Australian cricket team that I was a part of, the thing that impressed me most about Ricky Ponting and Steve Waugh was the fact that, as well as being tactically astute chiefs, they were also the best batsmen in the world. In other words, despite all the extra pressures associated with their jobs, they still had the ability and strength of character to be the finest player in the team. Both these guys have shown great wisdom and leadership through their actions and their thoughts. At Perth, in the
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Test match immediately after our ‘miracle’ victory in Adelaide, we needed one wicket after lunch to regain the Ashes. Our changing room was cock-a-hoop with excitement and expectation. As we walked back onto the WACA, Ricky called us into a huddle. This time, he was more relaxed than he’d been in Adelaide, but his words were equally as profound. ‘Let’s enjoy this moment,’ he said. ‘But I want us to remain humble in our victory.Winning the Ashes obviously means a lot to us, but remember we set out at the start of the summer to win this series five–nil. Enjoy and celebrate this victory, but don’t get too carried away because the job still isn’t done. Remain humble and we will achieve what we set out to achieve.’ In the euphoria of the occasion I couldn’t help but think that my little mate who was born in Launceston, Tasmania, had turned into Winston Churchill. The larrikin kid had made himself an incredible leader of men by watching, observing and then putting his stamp of authority onto the game of cricket and his team. In those few words—be humble in victory—it became apparent to me why Ricky Ponting is one of the great leaders I have been involved with. His words were not only astute, they also underlined exactly how he lives his own life. You will meet few more humble men than Ricky Ponting. His humility is a hallmark of his character, so when he expressed his wish to the team, we were keen to follow his lead. We knew he wasn’t just preaching, but rather walking and talking what he truly believes. Through Ricky, I came to realise that leadership can be learned and constantly developed, and that while every effective leader has his or her own style, they all have a way of bringing out the best in their men or women.
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A couple of months after the Ashes series I was playing in a club cricket semi-final with my team Scarborough. After a memorable win, I stole some of Ricky’s wisdom, because I felt that a few of my younger team-mates were getting a little carried away with themselves and the victory. I asked the boys to be humble and to keep working hard until the final goal was achieved. To their credit, they took this advice on board and we were able to not only win the grand final but win it with our heads held high as worthy champions. Early on in my career, Steve Waugh showed me that you don’t need a title such as ‘captain’, ‘chairman’ or ‘chief executive’ to display leadership. In 1995, Australia was playing the West Indies in Trinidad. On a cricket pitch as perilous as any I have seen in international cricket, Steve stood up to the great Windies fast man, Curtly Ambrose. For a couple of overs, he ducked and dived and was hit until his body was purple and blue, but despite the blows he just stood there and stared his tormentor in the eyes. At the same time, in the away team’s changing room, Steve’s team-mates, of whom I was one, sat forward on their seats and admired his courage. Because of his unflinching nerve on that day, it was almost as if he assumed the leadership and respect of his team; I have no doubt that moment was a defining one in the career of Steve Waugh. Throughout his tenure as captain, Steve often demonstrated similar moments of courage and tenacity. He was able to ask his men to battle through times of extreme pressure because they knew that was how he played the game. If he asked me to stand up and fight then I would, because I knew he wasn’t asking me to do something he wasn’t willing to do himself. If he asked me to be a model citizen I would listen to him because I knew he was one
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himself. He could demand excellence because he was willing to demand excellence of himself. And he would often say, ‘You should always praise in public, but if you need to criticise someone you should always do it behind closed doors.’ There were times when the captain needed to give me some constructive criticism, but he always did so to my face and in the privacy of our own time. Most times, though, he would encourage me privately and publicly. This trait reminds me of a wonderful old saying I used in my eulogy to Kenny Meuleman, the former WA and Australian batsman and one of the best people I ever met, after he died in 2004: Flatter me and I might not believe you. Criticise me and I might not like you. Ignore me and I will never forgive you. Encourage me and I will never forget you.
Of Steve Waugh’s greatest traits, his ability to encourage me to be my best is without doubt the quality I am most thankful for. The day before my best innings in Test cricket, I was summoned by the captain for a few words. I had been under pressure for my position in the team because I wasn’t in my best form and I doubted my ability to make it at Test level. Looking me in the eyes, Steve said to me, ‘I want you to know that I want you in the team. The coach wants you in the team and your team-mates want you in the team. You are one of the best batsmen in Australia. Go out there, back yourself, and show everybody and yourself what a good player you are.’ These words made me feel like I was the king of the world and I felt I wanted to repay his faith with something special. With this faith came a sense that I was alive and ready to take on the challenge.
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Later that same morning, I was listening in on the preTest press conference when one of the journalists asked a question that made my face flush with embarrassment and frustration. He asked Steve, ‘Have you got any advice for Justin Langer, who is obviously out of form and probably on his last legs as a Test cricketer?’ The captain stared at the journalist and pronounced, ‘Yes, I have some advice for Justin Langer . . . I will be telling Justin Langer to stop reading your shit.’ It was blunt and crude, but forthright, too. Not only had Steve encouraged me in private; now he was also offering his total support to me in public. Another thing I have learned from the great captains is that leadership is not an easy path. Potentially rewarding, certainly; but never easy. Leaders tend to follow the ‘road less travelled’ in their lives and therefore, while the positives that come with the role are often great, the sacrifice and discipline required to stand tall are equally as immense.With leadership comes responsibility, and with responsibility comes accountability and an opportunity to feel like you have made a difference. While it is sometimes easier and more comfortable to be a follower than a leader, the rewards that come with having the courage to stand up and lead are usually worth the pain.
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22
TEAM WORK
‘Often the hard way is actually the easy way.’ Anon
When you visit India, the enormous gulf between rich and poor hits you slap in the face. One moment, you can be relaxing in the foyer of one of the world’s most opulent hotels, the next you are through the revolving doors and into a world that’s light years away from the one you just left. At times like this, life doesn’t seem to make much sense. In a way, the Australian team experienced something similar when we went to ‘boot camp’ in the lead-up to the 2006–07 season. One minute, we were sitting on a luxury, air-conditioned coach; the next, 25 cocky, talented sportsmen had been stripped to their underwear and were being barked at by our sergeant in a scene reminiscent of a ‘military academy’ movie. Raymond Weil watches, Diesel jeans, gold chains and sponsored mobile phones were exchanged for a pair of camouflage pants, a couple of T-shirts, two pairs of shoes, a couple of pairs of socks and jocks, and a sleeping-bag.These were squashed into an army backpack. The two ‘luxury’ 117
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items we were allowed to keep were a tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush. Bristling with nervous anticipation, we were carted to the middle of a pine forest on the outskirts of Brisbane, where we would be subjected to physical and mental challenges that would test even the steeliest of characters. For the first 24 hours, our six-man teams were required to push a minivan along dirt tracks, carry a 70 kg shoulder-stretcher for two hours, walk up a hill that felt like Mount Everest while carrying full water cans, and do more ‘punishment pushups’ than the average gym junkie would do in a year. Worse was to come. Dinner was two cans of cold tinned soup and a loaf of bread, shared between the six of us.That first night, hungry and sore, we settled down to sleep on a dirt floor, accompanied by mosquitoes, pine cones and thousands of stars. Rough as it was, the way we were feeling we could have slept on a clothes line. We didn’t get to enjoy our sleeping-bags for long. At midnight, we were catapulted from our slumber by two loud ‘booms’ and a voice screaming at us to pack our things and move out. Packing our equipment in the pitch black, with no time to lose and a mob of snarling commanders on our backs, was a test in itself. Ahead of us was an hour of orienteering through an eerie forest, before finally we were allowed to camp for the rest of the night on a sandy path in the middle of nowhere. After we were woken at sunrise, I felt as if I had just lived through the toughest day of my life. But I had survived that toughest day of my life. As hard as it had been, I had faced the challenge and conquered it, and I felt pretty good about myself and the team-mates who had helped me through, while fighting their own battles along the way. After four more days of hell we stood together, faces filthy, stomachs
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rumbling and muscles aching, and to a man proclaimed that hard as it had been, this experience had been one of the best of our lives.We were stronger as individuals and tighter as a unit. What we went through at boot camp helped us to inflict an extraordinary whitewash on England in the 2006–07 Ashes series. To win any battle, a team must be made up of self-disciplined, well-prepared and focused individuals, each of whom understands their role within the unit. Champion teams must be well-led and totally committed to the concept of teamwork. The members of that team must share a mutual respect and they must continually strive to improve. Boot camp taught us, or at least reminded us, about what it takes to be the best of the best, and the experience reinforced our commitment to the baggy green cap and everything it symbolises. Of course, boot camp wasn’t the only reason we regained the Ashes, but it was a powerful experience that made me realise I can survive in the harshest of environments if I have good people whom I can trust around me, and if I can stay focused on my task without worrying too much about possible outcomes that may never happen.This takes courage, but I have always found that when I am under extreme pressure, whether I am at boot camp, on the cricket field, in the office or at home, the best way to survive and conquer is to commit to the task, have faith in my team-mates and back myself to move forward without hesitation.
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23
CRITICS
‘Credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust, sweat and blood; who strides valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotions; and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.’ Theodore Roosevelt
I was a teenager when I first read this brilliant insight by Theodore Roosevelt. I’ll never forget it—his wise words were printed on an advertising poster featuring the champion Australian swimmer Lisa Curry. With time, this wisdom has become one of the cornerstones of a basic philosophy that has helped me survive in the public world of international sport. In my early years as a Test cricketer, I was easily distressed by the critics. For years, I was tagged the ‘ugly duckling’ of the Australian team. I was portrayed as the hard worker, a guy who had little talent or flair and who existed and 120
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endured solely as a result of willpower and discipline. I was often described as the first dropped and the last picked. I began to feel a bit like the kid who is always the last one picked in the schoolyard—when the boys are split into two teams, with one captain choosing first and the selections alternating until there is only one poor sod remaining. I always found this criticism quite unfair. I tried so hard to use it to prove people wrong; a trait which became a great source of motivation on one hand but a hindrance on the other. Often, the harder I tried the worse things became, because I wasn’t able to relax and concentrate on what was important. But on the flip side, the critics helped me when I was in the gym, on the road, or in the practice nets. In the long run, maybe the criticism was a good thing, for I have lived with a fire burning in my stomach and I am certain this has helped me to achieve the goals I set for myself. After I scored my last century in Test cricket, in Brisbane in November 2006, I received a text message from John Worsfold, the coach of the West Coast Eagles AFL team, which read: Well done, mate. Do not credit your critics with your mental toughness, you did it from within! They cannot imagine how much work you put in.
In an interview after the innings, I must have referred to this fire in my soul, because I had been under the pump from the media leading into that first Test match of the series against England. Again, I felt the criticism about my position in the team was unfair and unjustified, but after years of learning and understanding the system I was able to put it all aside and get on with my job. John’s message
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was appropriate. I don’t credit the critics for my mental toughness, but I will say they have been a source of teethgritting motivation over the years. I am of the opinion that you can either use criticism to your advantage or you can roll over and let it kill you. My ability to leave behind the media’s negative view of me was one of the major contributors to the success I enjoyed in the second half of my career. I am often asked if there was a particular reason why I played only eight Tests in the first five years of my career and then 97 in the last eight. I always answer that confidence and hard work have been the major factors, but my capacity to eliminate unnecessary diversions has been another. In Adelaide in 2003, I found myself in a discussion with the master batsman Sachin Tendulkar. India had just beaten us in a Test match and Sachin was in our changing room drinking champagne. Seizing the opportunity, I asked one of the world’s most fanatically supported cricketers how he dealt with the media, and in particular the critics. At the time, Sachin was experiencing an unusually lean streak with the bat. He said: Justin, I don’t read the press, I don’t listen to the critics and I don’t watch people’s opinion on the television. What I have learned is that I know how I am going and I don’t need anyone else to remind me. If I am playing well I don’t need anyone to tell me, and if I am playing poorly I don’t need anyone to tell me that either. As long as I am honest with myself then I am my best judge. I don’t need anyone else to tear me down or build me up anymore.
For a long time, I felt this approach was a difficult one to adopt. People would tell me not to read the press and
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I would reply, ‘If I don’t read it then I will inevitably hear the opinion second- or third-hand, so I might as well read it myself.’ Often, the people who suggested the media isolation strategy were people who had no real idea what it was like to be in the public eye. It’s all right for you to say that, I’d think to myself, but it’s not you they are talking about. But when the great Sachin Tendulkar suggested I have a go at ignoring the press, I sat up and listened. Australia’s next tour was to Sri Lanka and, as fate would have it, I was having a tough time scoring runs. In the past, the worse I was playing, the more I’d scour the papers and the internet to see what people were saying about me, but this time whenever I was tempted to look, I thought of Sachin’s advice and left it alone. I found that I felt very liberated. I knew I wasn’t playing as well as I would have liked, and I trusted myself to get on with the job and do what I had to do to get myself back among the runs. I have learned that it takes courage to stand above any criticism and let it go with a smile on my face. As long as I know that I am working hard, then that takes away anything anyone else can say about me. Criticism can be very fickle. One day, it can be black; the next, it can be white. If you have a good day today, you will invariably be praised and applauded for your performance. Unfortunately, the same is true if you have a bad day, and the fact you were excellent a day or two before will count for nothing. If you don’t play well then you will invariably be criticised or condemned. I eventually learned that if I didn’t take things too personally and I understood how the media merry-go-round works then I could get on with my job in a much more peaceful way. It goes without saying that criticism will hurt; of course it does. But keeping things in perspective helps lighten
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the load. As long as I know I am the one in the cauldron training hard and doing my best then I have nothing to worry about. As Theodore Roosevelt implied, it is easier for people to criticise than face the music themselves—just as it is easier to demolish a house than build one. Have you ever noticed that it can take many months to build a new house and yet that same house can be knocked to the ground within minutes by a natural disaster or a bulldozer? A beautiful tree that has grown for 10, 20, 50 or 100 years can be cut down in a matter of minutes. The lesson is that it takes courage, strength, discipline, time, perseverance and wisdom to build a career, a home, a reputation, a character and a life, yet you can be assured it can be taken down in a short time by a silly action, an ignorant person, a poor choice, a disease or an accident. We must always be on guard and have our eyes fixed on where we are going and what we want to be, otherwise the fickleness of the critic, or of life, may strike when we least expect it. However, if I am out there, day in, day out, adding another brick to the wall, then I can stand taller and prouder than the critic who is sitting back with a poison pen, knocking me down while I am getting dirty, but better.
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24
CONQUERING HASTE
‘Are you stressed? Are you so busy getting to the future that the present is reduced to a means of getting there? Stress is caused by being “here” but wanting to be “there”, or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It’s a split that tears you apart inside. To create and live in such an inner split is insane. The fact that everyone else is doing it doesn’t make it any less insane.’ Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
Michael Clarke is a very likeable young man. Since his selection for the Australian cricket team he has displayed a number of impressive traits and actions that suggest he is destined to enjoy a wonderful career. His sporting talent is undeniable, but since I first met him it has not just been his ability to play cricket that has impressed me. In his debut Test, against India in India, not only did Michael score a century but he brought up this milestone while wearing his brand-new baggy green cap, which he had called for when he was a few runs short of three figures. This one action revealed a young man who wasn’t afraid to dare to live his dream. The modern game rarely lends 125
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itself to fairytale moments, but a youthful Michael Clarke dared to challenge the norm by trading the security of his helmet for the romance of his baggy green cap. I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they talk about their family and friends and Michael’s relationship with his parents and his sister has always impressed me. He talks of his family with sincere reverence, as though they are his best friends. On Michael’s second overseas tour, to the West Indies, the Australian team was invited to a dawn service in Barbados to celebrate Anzac Day. The ‘usual suspects’—Steve Waugh, Glenn McGrath, Matty Hayden, Adam Gilchrist and Ricky Ponting—made the effort to get up early for the service, but sitting quietly at the back of the bus was Michael, who had also sacrificed a few extra hours in bed to show his respect for his country and the legends who had helped to make Australia what it is today. It was a small action, but one that said a lot to me about the character of a young man who might be in a hurry to become a star, but who was also ready to take the time to respect his heritage and the work of other heroes. After a modest season in 2005–06, when he lost his Test place, this same lad vowed to come back from preseason training the following year as the fittest player in the Australian squad. While many young fellas talk the talk, few actually back up their words with the necessary actions and hard work. To his credit, ‘Clarkey’ did walk away from the pre-season camp in as good a shape as anyone in the 25-man squad. When I retired from Test cricket at the end of the 2006–07 Ashes series in Australia, I found a small box sitting on my seat in the SCG changing room. In it was a pen with my Test number, 354, engraved on its tip. The present was
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accompanied by a card from my little mate, in which he congratulated me and thanked me for the help he felt I had given him during the start to his career. At the bottom of the card were the words, ‘Conquering haste’. A couple of days before the third Test of that series, at the WACA, I had given Michael a copy of Joe Hyams’ Zen in the Martial Arts. In it, Joe Hyams talks about a meeting he had with a martial arts Master, who taught him that ‘those who are patient in the trivial things in life and control themselves will one day have the same mastery in great and important things’. On the morning of the first day of the Test Michael came into the changing rooms with a smile that lit up his whole face.‘Alfie,’ he said, calling me by one of my nicknames,‘I’ve finally got it. My problem is I can’t conquer haste. I want everything to happen right now and in the process I forget about what is important today and the steps I have to take before I get to where I want to be. JL, it’s like when I go out to bat I want to be a hundred before I even get off the mark. I am not patient enough when I know I should be.’ As fate would have it, Michael went out and scored his fourth Test century that day. When he triumphantly returned to the changing room, he winked at me and said, ‘It’s amazing what happens when you conquer haste isn’t it, old fella?’ Is it a sign of the times that everyone seems to want everything to happen right now? Life has become such a rush that the notion of living for the moment, living for now, has taken on a whole new meaning. If we take cricket as an example: more than 30 years ago, one-day international cricket was introduced as an alternative to the five-day Tests. The 50-overs-a-side schedule meant the punters could see a result by the end of the day, rather than
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having to wait for five days to know the outcome. Now, the new buzz is Twenty20 cricket, because it is fast, entertaining and all over in a couple of hours. Early in my own cricket career I learned an important lesson about conquering haste. Like many youngsters, I wanted everything right now; I was in a hurry to be a star, and when I wasn’t enjoying success and her spoils every minute of every day I quickly became frustrated. I’d been playing professional cricket for about five minutes when I asked Allan Border, the Australian captain and then the highest run scorer in Australian Test cricket, about getting a shoe sponsorship so that I could get my favourite shoes given to me for nothing. AB looked at me with a serious expression on his face and said, ‘Let me give you a bit of advice, young man. If you score a lot of runs you will get all the shoes you’ve ever wanted. In fact, if you make a lot of runs you will be given a lot of things for nothing. The trick, though, is to learn how to make a lot of runs and put all your intention into that and that alone. Everything else will look after itself.’ What AB was saying was this: take one small step at a time and you will get that little bit closer to the goals you are trying to attain. Often, these goals take a long time to be achieved, but by conquering haste and working patiently, the rewards are usually worth every ounce of the effort. In so many ways this advice has proved as valuable as any guidance anyone has ever given me. A lot of us want everything—the big house, the fancy car, the promotion, the accolades—right this minute. Most of us will never get the things we want unless we are willing to put our heads down and our backsides up, and work hard, day-in-day-out, at what really matters.
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25
LUCK
‘The main difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man sees everything as either a blessing or a curse.’ Carlos Castaneda, American mystic and author
I’ll never forget sharing dinner with the late, great Kerry Packer at his family home at Bellevue Hill in Sydney. It was the night before the inaugural Super Series Test match between Australia and an ICC World XI and, as it happened, only a few weeks before he passed away. I was nervous at the prospect of meeting this legend who had done so much for the game of cricket. Alan Jones, one of the most generous and inspirational people I have met, had organised the dinner and I had Matty Hayden, Steve Waugh, Brett Lee and Shane Watson for company. After a nervy ‘meet and greet’ in the front lobby, we settled down to talk seriously about cricket and sport in general. After an hour, we were ushered through to the dining room, where a banquet fit for kings was set out on a buffet table. While I was eating an oyster, Mr Packer started talking to us about the importance of luck in life. He told us how luck had played a huge part in his and his family’s success. He 129
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talked about the 10-dollar note his grandfather had found at the racetrack years before and how the bet he had laid with that magical bill allowed him to travel to Sydney to seek his fortune. He then spoke of how luck had favoured his father when he sold a printing press to his competitors for a small fortune. The money was used to move on to bigger and better things. ‘You see, men, luck plays a huge part in a man’s success or failure. Some people are lucky, some are just plain unlucky. I’ve been lucky, just plain bloody lucky.’ We sat spellbound by these tales.Then Mr Packer tapped me on the left shoulder and said, ‘As for you, young fella, you’ve had plenty of luck in your life, haven’t you?’ ‘Yes, Mr Packer, I have had plenty of luck,’ I replied. I wasn’t quite sure what he was driving at. ‘You’re lucky,’ he continued, as he drew back on his cigarette. ‘You’re lucky they invented helmets, son, or you’d be dead!’ At this, we all fell off our seats. There were tears of laughter in every eye, except, of course, those of the big man with a wry smile on his face and a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth. Kerry Packer was a profoundly interesting man who was genuinely passionate about sport and life. I’ll never forget something he said to us later in the night: ‘As long as you know who you are and your friends know who you are, then all the rest can go and get stuffed!’ On the subject of luck, another Australian cricket great, Richie Benaud, has often described captaincy as 10 per cent skill and 90 per cent luck. While I would never argue the point with Richie, I think he and Kerry Packer are being a little humble about their accomplishments as a cricket icon and a businessman if they give too much of the credit to plain luck.
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There is no doubt that in my life and throughout my career I have been very lucky, but an old coach, Graham House, once told me that ‘luck is the point where preparation meets opportunity’, and often my luck has taken the form of my being in the right place at the right time, or at least being the next cab off the rank. The saying ‘the harder I work the luckier I get’ seems to me to encapsulate Graham’s words of wisdom. Kerry Packer and Richie Benaud may have had plenty of luck, but I wouldn’t mind betting that their luck would have had plenty to do with the hard work they were prepared to do and their vision and experience. Another thing about luck is that how someone views an experience or situation can determine whether their fortune is good or bad. I have often found that events originally deemed to be ‘bad luck’ turn out to be the best thing that could have happened; conversely, a blessing can become a curse. Years ago, I came across a little story that helped me put the whole concept of luck into a manageable perspective. There once was a farmer, who had a son and a horse. One day the farmer’s horse ran away, and all his neighbours came to console him, saying, ‘What bad luck that your horse has run away!’ But the old man replied, ‘Who knows if it is good luck or bad luck?’ ‘Of course it is bad luck!’ said the neighbours. A week later, the farmer’s horse returned to his stable, followed by 20 wild horses. This time, the neighbours came to celebrate, saying, ‘What good luck. You have your horse back—plus another 20!’ And the old man replied, ‘Who knows if it is good luck or bad luck?’
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The next day the farmer’s son was riding one of the wild horses when he fell, breaking his leg. The neighbours came to console the farmer, saying, ‘What bad luck!’ But the farmer said, ‘Who knows if it is good luck or bad luck?’ At this, some of the neighbours were angry, and said, ‘Of course it’s bad luck, you silly old fool!’ Another week went by and an army came through town, conscripting all of the fit young men to fight in distant lands. Because of his broken leg, the farmer’s son was left behind. All the neighbours came to celebrate, saying, ‘What good luck that your son was left behind!’ And the farmer said, ‘Who knows?’
In my life, I have found that the best way to treat luck is to search for a lesson from every experience. This way, I can keep a log of what may have contributed to a success. For example, I may have worked particularly hard in my preparation in the lead-up to an event or, as Muhammad Ali said: Before I get in the ring, I’ve already won or lost it out on the road. The real part is won or lost somewhere away from witnesses—behind the lines, in the gym and out on the road long before I dance under the lights.
If I run across bad luck or misfortune I will squeeze as much as I can from the experience to ensure I learn a lesson. When I was dropped from the Australian Test team in 2001, everyone told me how unlucky I was and for a while I let myself believe them. But as it turned out, being dropped proved to be a valuable lesson. I learned more about myself in that dark period than I would have done otherwise, and if
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I hadn’t been dropped I may never have opened the batting for Australia. Luck can take many forms, and is notoriously fickle. I make sure I never rely on it to help me get through or blame it when things go wrong.
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26
HEALTH
‘The one thing in life we can control is our mind, the way we think. True, we can control what we eat and so largely control our health, but this is just a by-product of controlling our minds. If you want to change a habit, if you want to change the way you feel about something, you must change the way you think about it. If you want to give up smoking, for instance, you have to stop thinking of it as fashionable and sophisticated, and think of it as filthy and unhealthy. Ultimately, the only person who can change the way you think is yourself.’ Greg Chappell
If someone were to ask me to nominate the most important things in my life, my family and friends would automatically head my list. I have usually taken good health for granted, so I would rarely think to mention my physical wellbeing as being among my highest priorities. This has changed, as the injuries I have suffered have brought home to me how important good health is. For example, just before Christmas 2004, I was struck down by a bulging disc in my lower back. One minute, I was running around the MCG doing a warm-up session with 134
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the Australian team, the next I was in excruciating pain and hobbling like a 100-year-old man. By the time I reached the changing room I could hardly move; the prospects of me playing in the Boxing Day Test seemed nil. Everything should have been perfect. It was Christmas, my family was with me, we were being treated like royalty as a part of the Australian cricket team, and I was due to play a Test match at the MCG in front of 70,000 people. But each minute of my pre-Christmas festivities was spent on the physio’s bench or in the swimming pool. Instead of Christmas ham and plum pudding, I was on a strict diet of anti-inflammatory tablets. While my kids danced around the hotel room waiting for Father Christmas, I lay flat on my back feeling totally miserable.Thankfully, my condition improved rapidly and I was able to play in the Test match, but I would never take my health for granted again. While physical fitness has always been a natural priority for me, setbacks such as the one above have taught me that good health is about much more than just being able to run fast or lift heavy weights. I have seen too many friends and colleagues struck down by terrible illnesses such as cancer, diseases against which no one—young children, fit, active adults and grandparents—is immune, so to me it makes sense to take control over those areas of my health where I can have an influence. Neil ‘Max’ Tyndall has been the fitness coach of the Western Australian cricket team for well over a decade. I have never come across a person who trains as much as ‘Mad Max’. Neil has lost his grandfather, father, uncle and two brothers to heart disease. None of the men in his family have lived past the age of 52. With the genetic scales so dramatically weighted against him, I asked Neil about his philosophy on health and fitness.
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The idea is to give yourself the best chance. Some things you have no control over, but at the end of the day, if you can look yourself in the mirror and say I have given myself the best chance then that is all you can ask of yourself. And besides, apart from anything else you just feel better if you exercise, eat well and don’t drink too much alcohol or smoke cigarettes.
Choices such as not smoking, avoiding drugs, drinking alcohol in moderation, sticking to a healthy and balanced diet and regular exercise are simple alternatives to a lifestyle of excess. I am a huge advocate of balance in one’s life and while there have been times when I have gone a little overboard in my fitness obsession, the best way to stay in great shape is to make good health decisions a part of my daily routine, rather than a remedy for weight gain or a recovery period from binge drinking or eating.
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27
PERSPECTIVE
‘Our wounds ultimately give us wisdom. Our stumbling blocks inevitably become our stepping stones. And our setbacks lead us to our strengths.’ Robin Sharma, Canadian author and motivational speaker
Bang! Like most accidents it happened so quickly. One minute, you were running around, fit and healthy; the next, your life is turned upside down. As soon as a bone or muscle is damaged, bruised or broken, the mind, focus and positive affirmations are also tumbled into a state of confusion. Surviving a serious accident or injury is only the first step.After the physical pain come anger and disappointment, emotions which are followed by something of a mourning period, during which you feel sorry for yourself as you consider what the future holds. At this stage, you have a choice to make.You can remain in this bleak state of sorrow or you can choose to accept the situation and develop a clear strategy of rehabilitation, at which point you will truly be on the road to recovery. Peter Hughes, a survivor of the Bali bombings in 2002, is an accidental hero and an inspiration, given the courage of 137
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his recovery from horrific burns. One day he told me that one of the keys to his survival was his decision to accept what had happened, and to get out of bed and start taking steps towards recovery, rather than lying in bed and hoping everything would happen by itself. Peter’s doctor, Australian of the Year and all-round superwoman Dr Fiona Wood, had told him that he had to get out of bed and start moving. ‘Stay still and you will die,’ she warned him. ‘Get up and move and you have a chance of surviving.’ I guess Peter didn’t have a choice. For the rest of us, though, it’s a matter of perspective: ‘I was feeling blue when I lost my shoes, until I met a man with no feet.’ Searching for a positive from a predicament is the patient’s choice and I have no doubt that the length of that patient’s recovery depends upon their attitude and what they are prepared to do to achieve the desired outcome. This was brought home to me during the 2001 Ashes series in England, when Steve Waugh tore his calf muscle in the third Test, at Trent Bridge. At the time, it looked certain he would miss the remainder of the series, but Steve’s determination to maximise his chances of recovery drove him to work eight to 10 hours a day with our physio, Errol Alcott. Against all the odds, Steve returned to the team for the final Test, at The Oval, where he scored 150 incredible runs. Everyone had written off such a comeback, but our captain’s determination, paired with our physio’s skills, made it happen. The recovery battle is always worth the fight. At times, it can be boring, thankless and extremely painful, but if you are determined to get back to your starting point, then these steps have to be taken. Some battles can’t be won, however. I will never forget my grandmother’s reaction on finding out she had cancer.
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After doctors predicted she had less than a year to live she decided not to enter any chemotherapy or radiation treatment. Instead, she saw her time as a gift to be enjoyed with family and friends and an opportunity for her to say goodbye to those she loved with dignity. I will always be grateful for the lesson in courage her perspective gave me. One of the most inspiring moments of my life came courtesy of my young mate Jason McLean. In 2003, Jason was 18 years old when he dived into the surf on New Year’s Day. Unfortunately, his youthful exuberance turned to tragedy when he broke his neck, becoming a quadriplegic. After a year or so of being imprisoned in his wheelchair I asked Jason if he was becoming used to his predicament. With fiercely sad eyes, he looked at me and said, ‘JL, I will never, ever get used to this.’ A couple of years later I became patron of the Jason McLean Foundation, which is dedicated to raising funds to help Jason live a great life despite his injury. I got a call from Jason one day, asking me to come over to his house because he wanted to show me something.When I arrived, I noticed two mini-buses in the driveway and assumed these must have been what he wanted to show me. After a cup of coffee and our normal chat about sport and general life matters, Jason said, ‘I guess you are wondering what I wanted to show you.’ I was expecting a trip out to the driveway, but before I knew it, he had lifted his arm off his wheelchair and offered me his hand to shake. At first, I was dumbfounded, but shock was quickly replaced with pure elation and respect. What I had just seen was not only a medical miracle, but the marvellous achievement of a once very sad young man who had now accepted his circumstances, dealt with the emotions raging within him, and set himself a plan to reach for the stars. I still
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‘well up’ every time I remember Jason’s gesture. Through the same sheer hard work and determination that today sees him earning a university degree and getting on with his life, Jason shared with me a gift greater than anything money can buy. It was the gift of life, of accepting one’s situation but still working towards improving one’s circumstances. Whenever I am injured or feeling sorry for myself for one reason or another, I shake myself back into reality by accepting what has happened and taking the road forward to recovery. If a Jason McLean can lift his lifeless hand or a grandmother can die with dignity, each of us can follow their example and concentrate on maximising the opportunities that life gives us. Whether the obstacles we face on the journey to full health are physical or mental, a positive attitude always plays the same role. We should always look into our hearts and souls, for there we will find the fastest road to recovery.
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28
MAGIC MOMENTS
‘When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter, hammering at his rock, perhaps 100 times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet, at the 101st blow, it would split in two, and I know that it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.’ Jacob Riis, Danish–American journalist
Above my seat in the Somerset changing room is a quote that reads, ‘If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain.’ Looking back over my life and cricket career, this statement sums up the hours and hours of hard work and the many days of disappointments that have gone towards enjoying a few golden moments, which have forged what some would consider to have been a successful career. One of the many successful people who have had an influence on me in one way or another is Dennis Lillee, arguably Australia’s greatest-ever fast bowler. When I was 15 years old, I was selected to play first-grade cricket for the Scarborough Cricket Club. At that time, Dennis was making a comeback and I was privileged to be one of his 141
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team-mates. He was one of my boyhood heroes, so playing alongside him was an extraordinary experience. Back then, Dennis shared with me his three secrets of success. Wide-eyed, I listened intently: The first secret of success is hard work. If you want to be successful you must be willing to put in the hard work to make it happen.
Then Dennis called me a little closer: The second secret of success, young man, is hard work. If you want to be the best, you have to work hard to make it happen.
By this stage, I was getting the message. And after Dennis shared with me the third secret of success I was very clear about what I had to do to make it to the top. In a whisper, he told me: And, the third secret to success is very simple. You guessed it, the secret is hard work.
More than 20 years down the track, I have come to realise that Dennis was absolutely spot on. Most things we do in life are learned skills; if we are willing to put the time and effort into mastering a pursuit then it can be conquered. I also know that the reason we work hard at anything is to enjoy the rewards that come from what I call ‘magic moments’. Obviously, the intensity or enormity of these magic moments depends on what the rewards mean to us, but the feeling when such a moment occurs is the same. When I was a young boy, I was lucky to have a cricket pitch built in the bottom corner of our backyard. Our
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cricket pitch was a slab of concrete with steel ‘netting’ walls, not unlike the ones you see at the local park.That backyard cricket pitch came with a proviso, though. My brothers and I weren’t allowed to use it until I had painted the wooden slatted fence around the garden. As easy a job as it sounded at the time, I have hated painting ever since.What I thought would take me a couple of hours actually took a couple of weeks, but Dad was happy, because employing his new painting contractor recouped the money he’d spent on the cricket net. While I was painting away, however, Dad was teaching me the value of working for what you want in life. By painting the fence I was gaining the reward of being able to practise my batting every day in my own backyard. I can still remember those magic moments when I played cricket with my brothers in our very own net. A few years later, I got a job packing shelves at the local supermarket. At the time, the job felt like plain hard work, but at the magic moment when the boss handed me my pay packet, the feeling was one of joy and freedom. Over the years, I’ve spent hours hitting cricket balls on the bowling machine. I don’t know how many balls I have had to hit in order to master the various skills and shots required to be a good batsman, but what I do know is that I did it in order to enjoy those magic moments when everything comes together—the perfect shot, raising my bat when I have scored a century, or even crossing the white line on the first morning of a Test match while the music is playing and the crowd is cheering. Moments such as these make all the practice worthwhile, and while the feeling might only last a few seconds it is worth every single ounce of perspiration, pain and effort. Leading into the 2006–07 Ashes series in Australia, we made a team decision to concentrate on our catching, a
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decision based on the old cricket cliché that ‘catches win matches’. In extra practice sessions before and during the series there were plenty of times when my hands were aching and I was questioning the wisdom of spending hour after hour having my hands smashed by a hard leather cricket ball. All those questions and doubts went flying out of the door on the third day of the fourth Test. I was standing very close to the batsman, Paul Collingwood, when he hammered a ball at me. Through instinct alone I stuck out my hands and took a magnificent catch to send him back to the changing room. At that very moment, when I stood in the centre of the MCG, hands raised with 80,000 people roaring in the background, I realised that every catch I had taken as part of my preparation had contributed to this magic moment. Not only had I taken a good catch, but Collingwood’s dismissal meant we knew we would win the Test and take a 4–0 lead in the series. The hard work had been worth every single minute. Recently, I was talking to a friend who had just started a new job selling real estate. When I told him my theory on hard work and magic moments, he told me that he identified with what I was saying. ‘JL, it is exactly like my business,’ he replied. ‘There are so many times, when I am making all those phone calls or dropping letters in letterboxes, when I start questioning the value of my time and hard work. But I know that unless I do all this preparation I won’t enjoy those magic moments when I sign up a deal or see the elation of one of my customers who have just bought or sold their house.’ If I am really passionate about something and I want to be good at that thing, then it isn’t really ‘hard work’ that is required but time, energy and enthusiasm. Some people
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may call this ‘hard work’ but I would rather call it the ‘life effort’ required to enjoy a magic moment. We can create great memories and magic moments, but the price we must pay for these rewards is endurance and effort. Or, as a friend once said, when describing the rain you have to put up with to enjoy the rainbow: You’ve never lived until you have almost died. For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the protected will never know.
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29
LIFE GOES ON
‘In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life—— It goes on.’ Robert Frost
I reckon Robert Frost sums it up perfectly. It is funny how true this can be—no matter how good or bad a situation, the sun will rise the following day. Life has an interesting way of bringing you back to earth when you feel invincible or of putting a smile back on your face just when you feel as if you have hit rock bottom. This has happened to me many times, and it’s worth remembering that even if you think you’re in control of a situation, life has a way of keeping you on your toes. My first Test match was a case in point. One moment I was skipping around my hotel room wearing my baggy green cap and feeling like the king of the world; the next, I was lying in a crumpled heap in the centre of the Adelaide Oval thanks to a direct hit from an Ian Bishop thunderbolt. For the remainder of the Test match the king of the world was more like a human punching bag, as the West Indies pacemen hit me on the body more times than I care to remember. I had been dreaming about the moment when 146
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I would wear the baggy green since I was a young boy, but when that moment came it was more of a nightmare than the fairytale experience I had hoped for. Something very similar happened in my 100th Test. Leading into the game I was overwhelmed by the support I had received from friends from around the world. My parents had flown from Perth to Adelaide for my Test debut and now they made the journey to Johannesburg. I was on top of the world. One hundred Tests had become a goal for me and now that it had arrived I was unashamedly proud of the achievement.To have reached such a milestone gave me an incredible sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. I felt like I was floating when I led the Australian team, some of my closest mates, into the Wanderers Stadium. Nigel and Lucy Wray, my ‘second’ family from London, had flown over from England just for the day, and when I saw them with my parents up in the grandstand life couldn’t have felt much better. Twenty-four hours later, I was again lying in a crumpled mess on the floor, having been hit a fearful blow with the first ball of our innings. Soon I was in an ambulance en route for a brain scan and I spent the rest of the day in a hospital bed, severely concussed. Things certainly hadn’t worked out the way they were supposed to. Conversely, there have been times when what I considered to be a disaster turned into a blessing. Early in the 2005–06 season I broke my ribs and was ruled out of the first Test of the summer against the West Indies. My first thought was that this was a disaster, but as it turned out, being injured gave me the opportunity to be at my daughter’s birth and then to be at home with her in the first few weeks of her life. This was a blessing. If you look hard enough, every black moment in your life can have a silver lining. My trip to the Johannesburg
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hospital during my 100th Test gave me a chance to spend some quality time with my father. Strange as it may sound, such moments had become like gold because our busy schedules didn’t allow them to happen every day. Obviously, circumstances could have been better, but my misfortune allowed me to just sit with my dad for an entire afternoon. There have been times in my cricket career when optimism wasn’t enough. I wished the world would open up and swallow me whole. Lack of runs and mounting pressure to perform left me depressed and feeling under the pump, and my life became consumed by self-doubt and fears. As I pondered my next innings I felt as if I was about to appear in a horror movie rather than have the chance to star on the big stage. Singer-songwriter Paul Kelly sang, ‘The darkest hour is before the dawn and that is when the great avenger is born.’ I came to understand that the one thing you can be sure about is that life is always changing and moving on. Rock bottom can turn into the peak of Mount Everest within a couple of hours. One minute I have questioned my ability to the point of wanting to quit; the next I have wondered why I had spent so much time worrying about what might happen in the future. I have had to learn that life is a balancing act and that attitude and perspective can salvage a miracle from the worst of situations. If things aren’t going so well, hang in there and never give in to the pressure. Conversely, if you are flying high, enjoy the moment but don’t get too carried away with yourself. The sun rises, the tides go in and out, seasons change, babies are born, and people die . . . Life goes on.
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30
THE PERFECT DAY
‘Life unfolds on a great sheet called Time, and once finished it is gone forever.’ Chinese adage
In Mitch Albom’s partly autobiographical Tuesdays with Morrie, there is a beautiful exchange between the two principal characters, Mitch and his old, crippled, dying friend and teacher, Morrie. Mitch asks Morrie what he would do if he had one day of perfect health . . . Let’s see . . . I would get up in the morning, do my exercises, have a lovely breakfast of sweet rolls and tea, go for a swim, then have my friends come over for a nice lunch. I’d have them come one or two at a time so we could talk about their families, their issues, talk about how much we mean to each other. Then I’d like to go for a walk, in a garden with some trees, watch their colours, watch the birds, take in the nature that I haven’t seen in a long time now. In the evening, we’d all go together to a restaurant with some great pasta, maybe some duck—I love duck—and then we’d dance the rest of the night. I’d dance with all of the 149
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wonderful dance partners out there, until I was exhausted. And then I’d go home and have a deep, wonderful sleep.
What struck me was the simplicity of this uncomplicated but appealing day. I wondered what my ‘perfect day’ would be. Would I get up and rush through breakfast in order to get to work to chase the bigger pay packet, the bigger house, the bigger car, the fancy suit? Would I make time to see people who were really just wasting my precious time? Would I sacrifice time with my family and friends doing things that didn’t deserve such priority in my life? The more I thought about it the more I realised that we tend to get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life that we leave precious little time for what is most important to us. A couple of years ago, I was sitting in a plane when the seatbelt sign flashed on and the captain warned us that there was severe turbulence ahead. I’d heard such announcements before, but on this occasion the plane was rocking and shaking like an out-of-control fairground ride. With my heart racing and my imagination running riot, I clung to the sides of my seat and prayed for a safe landing and a happy reunion with my family. After what seemed like an eternity, we made it through the storm and reached our destination without further alarm. Before we landed, and still feeling just a bit shaky, I wrote in my journal: You know when you are sitting on a plane and the turbulence starts rocking you around like a boat in troubled waters. At this moment you feel totally out of control and yet it gives you time to take a quick snapshot of where your life is at right at the moment.
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You ask yourself if you would have done things differently if you were given another chance. You often hear stories of people whose near-death experiences have changed their philosophy of life; where their ‘second chance’ has made them alter their daily actions and aspirations. While most of us won’t experience such a life-altering moment, aeroplane turbulence gave me a time to understand that, as the old cliché states, life is no dress rehearsal, and that we should spend much more of our time on the most important things that will bring us peace and happiness.
While that plane was shaking and bucking, my first thoughts were about my family—my kids smiling and laughing as they jumped on the trampoline or did cartwheels down on the beach. I thought about kissing Ali-Rose before she goes to bed each night and Sophie coming into our bed every morning before the sun has come up. I thought about Jessie’s natural affection and Ali and Sophie’s cheeky grins. I thought about dancing Grace to sleep in front of the jukebox and I thought about my wife Sue, laughing and singing with a glass of white wine in her hand. I thought about Mum and Dad and how much I had learned from them. I thought about my brothers Adam and Jonathon, and my sister Jemma on her wedding day. I thought about my best friends. What never crossed my mind was the car I drove or the money I’d made, the runs I’d scored or the trophies I’d won, nor the hours of worry and striving to climb the so-called ladder of success. I didn’t think about them, yet I knew that I had spent so much of my life caught up in these things. There is an old saying: ‘At the end of your life you will find that the things you thought were the big things were actually the little things and that all those things you
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thought were the little, unimportant things were actually the big important ones.’ While a lot of this book is about aiming for the stars and working passionately towards big goals, balance in life is crucial. What’s the point of being the richest man in the world if you are lonely and suffering from high blood pressure and poor health? There is no point looking good on the outside if you are insecure and fearful on the inside. The most successful people I know have recognised the importance of balance in their lives. Those people have not only succeeded in their professions but have put as much emphasis on the emotional wellbeing of their family and friends as they have on their own achievements. I went to bed recently thinking I had just lived my perfect day. It was such a simple day really, but by the time I nodded off I felt totally happy and at peace with the world. That morning, Sophie had come into our bedroom for her mandatory, very early morning cuddle. When we got up, I had a bowl of fruit salad and then Sue made us a takeaway coffee to take to the kids’ basketball. I watched Jess and Ali-Rose play basketball while I drank another cup of coffee that my sister had bought from the local café. I love coffee. After basketball, I went to hit some cricket balls with Noddy Holder. I love hitting cricket balls. At lunchtime Sue made us sandwiches, easily the best sandwiches in the world. After lunch, a gift I had organised for my brother Adam arrived and I was pumped because it was something I had been expecting for over a month. I knew it was a gift he would appreciate, so I was glad I had made the effort to organise it. In the afternoon, my other brother Jono came over and we trained together in the backyard, doing a tough session
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of running and boxing. Sometimes, I am not sure what I enjoy more—the physical exercise or just spending time with my brother. After a shower, the sun was setting and Sue and I took the kids on their bikes down to the beach, where they played on the swings and monkey bars. In the evening, we went to my parents’ home for Mum’s roast dinner, sticky date pudding and lemon meringue pie, while the West Coast Eagles were playing on the TV in the background. Over dinner, there were plenty of laughs and family banter. As simple as this day sounds, for me it was almost perfect. The only thing missing was sharing one of those early coffees with a couple of my closest friends; otherwise, I wish every single day could be as fulfilling. When I went to bed I was tired but very happy. During that one day I had enjoyed all the things that are the most important to me—I spent time with my family, I felt fit and strong, I played cricket and I made a few other people feel happy. I have been privileged to experience some extraordinary moments in my life, both professionally and personally, partly as a result of good timing and partly due to being open to magic moments. Someone said ‘a great life is nothing more than a series of great memories woven together’. I have learned that it is worth slowing down a little, to give myself the chance to enjoy not only the big events but also the smaller but equally significant moments. We often take family and friends for granted, which is a sign of not getting our priorities right. I firmly believe that everyone should take some time every day to do something they really enjoy. It might be playing a guitar, walking on the beach or reading a book, meditating, writing in a journal or sharing a coffee with a friend. It could be ringing
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or texting someone you love, just to say ‘Hello’ and that you are thinking about them. These small things—which really should be the big things—are often the first things sacrificed because life gets too busy. Another of my favourite sayings is, ‘As you grow older, you will regret the things that you didn’t do rather than those that you did.’ How many nights do you go to bed thinking, ‘That was a great day’? Perhaps if we went to bed every night thinking we had just lived the perfect day, we would be closer to living full and happy lives. That, surely, is something to aim for. I love a cold beer in summer and hot soup and fresh bread in winter. I believe spirit, the will to win and the will to excel are the things that endure. I believe that if you back yourself then the world too will back you. I know that finding balance in life is as important as it is on a tightrope. I think great mentors are the missing link for those who lose their way in life. I know it is impossible to complete a marathon until you take the first step. I know that true leadership lies in commending rather than condemning. I feel the harder you work at something the harder it is to surrender. I believe you should always follow your gut feeling in decision making.
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I know that you never know what is around the corner in this life. I know that forgiveness is one of the great liberators in this life. I would really like to stand up on at least one wave before I die. I really enjoy painting, even though I am not much good at it. I believe you can tell a lot about a person by looking into their eyes. I know that true friends are like gold. I believe in finding perspective in life. I like pink Clinkers and Violet Crumble. I love it when my wife laughs. I like to see people having a crack and taking a risk. I would pick character over cover drives any day. I AM STILL JUSTIN LANGER . . .
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TUESDAYS WITH POPPY After I finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie, it occurred to me that I had something very similar in my own life, which I began affectionately calling ‘Tuesdays with Poppy’. Every Tuesday afternoon, my grandfather, Alan Townsend, plays golf with three mates at the Wembley Golf Club in Perth. Rain, hail or shine, they tee off at 2.45 p.m. for nine holes, and sometimes I’m lucky enough to catch up with ‘Pop’. (I need to explain that this Pop, my mother’s father, should not be confused with my other Pop—Harold, my father’s father—who featured so centrally in the opening chapter of this book.) Alan is in his 80s now, and his three mates—Eddie, Norm and Dennis—are not far behind him, but this quartet of elderly golfing buddies have taught me some valuable lessons. Apart from just enjoying the time I spend on the course with Pop and his mates, I’ve learned a heap about life back in the years of the Depression and the Second World War. The events these men have lived through have a direct influence on how they go about their business today. The first few rounds I played with the boys were, I must admit, a little embarrassing, because they were in absolutely no hurry at all. At the end of each hole, they would sit down and take the mickey out of each other over who had just achieved the best score. ‘Did anyone else have a par that hole?’ one would ask, knowing full well no one else had. With that, they would all have a laugh, hand around the lollies, and hobble over to the next tee. While this was happening, the group behind us would have their hands on their hips, muttering at the hold-up.
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But my partners simply soldiered on, oblivious to the queue building up behind them. I began to suspect that perhaps these wise old men were well aware of what was happening behind them, but it was their way of telling people to stop rushing, to spend a bit more time enjoying their round rather than hurrying towards the end result. When I got over my embarrassment about what the people behind us were thinking, I realised that I was enjoying my golf more than ever because I was not taking myself too seriously. I was having fun, having a laugh at myself and with my mates, rather than striving and pushing and rushing my way through the game. The journey around the course also showed me that regardless of their old knees, hips and backs, these guys all kept moving forward. It didn’t matter what was happening behind them or how they were struggling up the hills or through their swings, they were out there having a go and concentrating on the only thing that mattered— eventually getting to the next hole. I found the obvious mateship between these seasoned campaigners touching, and also the fact that they were still having a crack at a time in their lives when many others weren’t. In a life dominated by hustle and bustle, we tend to forget there’s nothing wrong with slowing down and ‘smelling the roses’ every now and then—like I do every time I spend a Tuesday with Poppy and his mates.
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31
FOR MY KIDS
‘Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.’ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If I had any advice for my kids about how to live their lives, this would be it: You have to get up and do it for yourself. Great teachers will come your way if you keep your eyes and ears open, but you are the master of your destiny in terms of how you think, feel and behave. Be strong. Be powerful. Be bold. Back yourself to the limit. Walk with your head held high and your chest out. Throw away the handcuffs of fear and limitation. Be tenacious. Be humble, and proud of your achievements. Accept things for how they are by trusting perspective. Don’t fall for selective hearing. Be brutally honest. Keep it simple. Eliminate the grey areas: real honesty is black or white. Be loyal; there is no middle ground with loyalty. Don’t hesitate. Trust the instincts of your heart and gut. Smile into the face of pressure. Be courageous. Be prepared; don’t leave things to chance. Ask lots of questions. Be willing to listen and remember you have two 158
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ears and one mouth, so that you can listen twice as much as you speak. Show respect; and earn it. Never waver from your values and principles. Don’t let ego ruin you. Be single-minded and determined, but never arrogant or selfish. Don’t complain or whinge. Be positive and optimistic. Don’t be scared to show your emotions. Cherish your friendships. Be creative. Laugh . . . a lot. Enjoy tranquillity, peace and stillness in your life. Don’t make excuses. Welcome adversity and learn from her lessons. Look after your mind, body and soul. Be kind, helpful, loving and honest. Enjoy others’ successes. Never get bored—there is no bigger insult that you can give yourself. Tell people you love them; don’t leave it until it is too late. Talk to yourself like the best coach in the world would talk to you. Be inspired and you will inspire others. Be happy. Don’t worry; worry gets you nowhere. Aim high and never look down. Don’t be afraid to fly or fall. Control the controllables. Learn from the best. Surround yourself with good people. Choose right not wrong. Be disciplined. Take your opportunities. Aim for a tight mind and a loose body. Go forward. Have fun. Be passionate about life and what you believe in . . . Never give up. SEE THE SUNRISE.
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS To my unbelievable wife, Sue, you are incredible. To Jessica, Ali-Rose, Sophie and Grace for sacrificing having me away for most of your lives, you are my reason for doing what I do. To my brothers Adam and Jono, for being my best mates, and my sister Jemma, for always being my little sister. To my mum and dad and my grandparents, there is a reason why this book is dedicated to you. To Geoff Armstrong, for your support and expertise in making this book work, and to Angela Handley, for your trained eye and wisdom in the editing process, I thank you both. To Allen & Unwin for backing the project, thanks. To Noddy Holder, Steve Smith and the Meuleman Family, for your constant support in helping me make the most of my ability. To Victor Smith, I will send you your commission! To my Australian cricket family who have taught me so many lessons. And to Matty Hayden, Punter, Gilly, Glenn McGrath, Steve Waugh, Marto, Binga, Dizzy, Huss, SKW—Absent Friends! To Cheri Gardiner, thanks for your tireless work and support and to Alan Jones, for your wisdom and friendship. To Ben Beale, Paul Fig and Todd Vladich, Nigel, Linda, Lucy and Joe, thanks.
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