Quick to the Hunt

Hawkins Ranch:

Quick to the Hunt

Cameron Dane

www.loose-id.com

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt Copyright © July 2011 by Cameron Dane All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions. eISBN 978-1-60737-996-6 Editor: G. G. Royale Cover Artist: April Martinez Printed in the United States of America

Published by Loose Id LLC PO Box 425960 San Francisco CA 94142-5960 www.loose-id.com This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Warning This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Loose Id LLC’s e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

*** DISCLAIMER: Please do not try any new sexual practice, especially those that might be found in our BDSM/fetish titles without the guidance of an experienced practitioner. Neither Loose Id LLC nor its authors will be responsible for any loss, harm, injury or death resulting from use of the information contained in any of its titles.

http://www.loose-id.com

Prologue March Hunter Tennison had come home at last. Sitting in the kitchen of the house in Quinten, Montana, where he’d grown up, he now listened to his sister, Sarah, and best friend, Jace, catch him up not only on the many changes in town during his time overseas, but also on their new relationship—that happened to include another man. All the while, Hunter gave the appearance of slouching back in a relaxed state, grinning in all the right places and contributing here and there when appropriate. Only, on the inside, Hunter silently battled the brewing of a clawing, violent storm, churning with its determination to erupt. The revelation of Sarah having two men in her life didn’t create the chaos within—although Hunter intended to do his damnedest never to picture the three of them behind closed doors. No brother ever wanted to think about his baby sister with one boyfriend, let alone two, even if Hunter happened to know Jace was one of the finest men on the planet and would protect Sarah with his life. In addition to that, Sarah had written enough about the other guy, a young cowboy named Jasper, for Hunter to believe him a good man too. Didn’t change the erratic pounding in Hunter’s heart or his desire to tear through something—object or person—to stifle the storm. Just the opposite. The happier and more animated Sarah got, the harder it became for Hunter to maintain his calm facade. He could feel the screams pushing their way up his esophagus to do battle against the tingling in his hands to punch holes in walls or tear doors off cabinets. Once started, neither would stop. I have to get out of here now. Breathing, breathing, Hunter pushed upright and then stood. “I apologize for cutting you off, Sis.” His voice only scratched a little bit. Thank God some emotion was called for during a reunion, and neither Sarah nor Jace would think it amiss. “But I’ve had a long twenty-four hours of driving to get here, and I’m more tired than I thought I was.” He put a hand over his mouth and feigned a yawn and stretch. “I think I’m gonna go to the motel and take a nap.” Sarah bolted out of her chair and rounded the table to him. “Are you sure you want to stay at a motel?” She took hold of his hands, bandaged one with fingers

2

Cameron Dane

missing and all. Her misty stare pushed more tinder onto the ball of fire burning in Hunter’s gut. “Your old room is ready for you. We keep it clean.” Every ounce of concern radiating off Sarah, not to mention Jace in the background, spurred Hunter to run even faster. Gotta get away. Beads of sweat pearled under Hunter’s long-sleeved flannel shirt. “I’ve been bunking with other people for too long,” he reminded his sister. “Now I prefer solitude and my own space to breathe.” At least that was the truth. “Right,” Sarah replied. Hunter watched her deflate and then, so like the Sarah he remembered, regain her smile and push her shoulders back. “I guess I understand that. I said we wouldn’t push.” She squeezed his hands, using the connection to pull him into an embrace. As she slid her arms around his shoulders, hugging him so sweetly it cut Hunter up inside, she rose up and whispered in his ear, “I meant that, Hunter. We’re just happy to have you safe and home.” He could hear the tears in her voice, and it made the swell of emotion inside him so much worse. “I missed you so much.” His voice catching, Hunter muttered back, “I missed you more than you can know too. I love you, Sis.” Barely getting that admission out without cracking, Hunter pecked a fast kiss high on Sarah’s cheek. “Talk to you soon.” He gave himself a second to clasp Jace’s hand in a firm shake and say a good-bye before hightailing it out of the house and onto the porch. Hunter stumbled down the steps into blinding rays of sunlight. The damn smell of fresh-cut grass, damp earth, and hints of early blooming flowers assaulted his nose, reminding him of all the wonderful things about settling down in one place and reclaiming a piece of land to call home. This attack on Hunter’s senses combined itself with seeing his sister and best friend again—along with the home that had a thousand happy memories and one soul-ripping, horrible one—and had Hunter chanting keep it cool, keep it cool, keep it cool in his head as he ran down the walk toward the gate and his car beyond. He pushed out of the gate and onto the sidewalk, his focus on the object weighing in his right pocket, nearing freedom and a place to use it. Suddenly he barreled into a solid something right in his path, umphing as two bodies collided. Hands grasped Hunter’s arms, steadying him with a strong grip. “Whoa.” A deep, rich voice, smooth as the strongest bourbon, thickened the crisp spring air. “You’re going about a hundred miles a minute in a strolling-only zone. Are you okay?” The firm hold on Hunter only added to the chaos building inside him; he jerked away. Automatically rubbing his arms, he instinctually feared this person could feel the damage beneath his clothing. Hunter looked up, intending to apologize. A deep green gaze waited for him, along with a lopsided smile that punched Hunter in the gut. Short, neat blond hair, chiseled cheekbones and jaw that would make any man envious, the man who stood a foot away from Hunter stirred at the volatile pot within Hunter already bubbling too hot. The guy had a tall, tight runner’s body that

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

3

spoke to everything inside Hunter that responded to other men, when right now Hunter had no place in his life for even the hint of sexual attraction to exist. Open concern turned the blond’s eyes to the richest forest colors found hidden deep in the Montana mountains. “Are you all right, man?” The guy cupped Hunter’s arm again, and it flooded Hunter with memories of the last time Will had grabbed hold of him nearly eighteen months ago. No. Don’t think about him. Too much. Too much. Too much. Licking fingers of chaos edged closer to the surface inside Hunter. He pulled away from this stranger’s touch before it shoved him over the edge, right in front of his childhood home. “Yeah, sorry,” Hunter mumbled, dragging his stare away from the curiosity in this man. “I wasn’t looking. I didn’t see you. Sorry.” He tucked his head down, backing away until he bumped into the tail end of his car. “I have to go.” Hunter scrambled around to the driver’s side and climbed in. The deeply tinted windows, which usually calmed him a little bit once he was inside his car, didn’t afford the same luxury today. His sister and Jace could walk outside any second. And for some reason, Hunter could fucking feel the eyes of that stranger still watching him. That piercing green gaze assessed him, judged him, and somehow saw all the wrong things living inside Hunter’s mind and mapped all over his body beneath the cover of his clothes. Everything within Hunter shouted at him to gun the engine and peel away as fast as his junker of a car could carry him. Instead, against every ounce of adrenaline pushing him, Hunter forced himself to pull away at a sedate pace, fighting the drenching sweat coating his back. Alex watched the beat-up old car get smaller as it got farther away, disturbed that his hands still tingled with awareness after touching the tall, dark-eyed man with overlong dark hair and facial scruff that pushed well past a five o’clock shadow. The guy’s arms had been rock solid under his shirt, even if the material had hung a little loose on his frame. His shoulders had the width of someone who’d been thicker all over once upon a time but perhaps an illness had thinned him out some recently. Didn’t matter. One look at the man and Alex had known the stranger had a body that would singe hotter than heated coals as it stroked against another hard male frame. Alex could feel his fingers slipping into the back of the man’s jeans and almost moaned as he imagined what that tight ass would feel like against his palms. Against his dick as he slid his rigid length between those firm cheeks. Whoa. Alex jerked himself back to reality. Back that train up to the station right now. Alexander Quick did not fantasize about jumping into bed with every man he found attractive. First, it was simply flat-out stupid to assume another man was gay just because it felt like a spark had arced between them when they’d touched. Second, he not only chose his partners carefully, but he also had his private

4

Cameron Dane

investigator do a thorough background check to make sure no surprises ever occurred during the time they spent together. Alex never thought so little of himself that he assumed every man who expressed an interest in him was only out for his money, nor was he naive or innocent. Sometimes a man only wanted him for however much he could get while he had Alex’s attention and interest, which was even fine on some occasions, as long as Alex knew what he was getting into before he took the man to bed. Beyond the practicality of Alex’s approach to bed partners, one word had come to his mind when looking into the eyes of that sexy stranger: lost. And Alex did not do rescues. He did not need a puppy. He was past that age of saving another person, but even if he weren’t, he had far too much on his plate right now and didn’t need the distraction of a man. Alex had property he was oh so very close to acquiring, and when he did, he had houses to build. Which was why he was here. He had his Quinten tour guide to thank. All her hard work would soon pay off for him, and Alex never forgot or left behind the people who helped him grow his business. Alex turned to stride up Sarah’s walk when the very woman herself burst out through her front door. Big, overpowering Jace followed at a steadier pace. “Alex. Hi.” Sarah traipsed down the steps to his side, her flight looking as if she moved on air. “Did you meet my brother? Shoot.” Her glance strayed down the road. “I saw you from the window and was hoping to get out here before he left.” What the fuck? Alex stared down the empty street, his stomach clenching for all new reasons. “That was Hunter?” Shit. Sarah was actually very quiet and reserved regarding the information she shared about her brother, but Hunter was one of three men whose names were spoken around town with a combination of worry and pride. He was one of the people who made the many men and women fighting in the Middle East real to this community. It seemed every family in Quinten had taken the men into their hearts and families. I’ve only known one other man people called a hero. Alex’s chest swelled with ridiculous love as he thought about Mack. “Yep, that was Hunter,” Sarah replied. “Can you believe it? He’s home. And he says he’s staying for good.” As fresh and open as anything Alex had ever seen, Sarah couldn’t seem to remain still. Her bare feet were damp with flecks of moist earth, and her long, dark hair lifted in the gentle breeze. Now that Alex looked more closely, he could see the resemblance between Sarah and the man who’d just run into him. The deep brown eyes were the same color, and they tilted slightly upward at the edges in the same manner too; both also had a similar shape to their mouths, a shared symmetry between the upper and lower lips that was unique. Only these eyes before Alex now danced with light and laughter, while the others had burned with darkness. This mouth was turned upward, while the other had been set in a line that had matched the tightness Alex had felt in their brief moments of contact.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

5

What was that all about? That man Alex had collided with had not been jubilant and had not possessed an ounce of the excitement Sarah clearly could not contain. Why? No. Don’t ask. Don’t kill her joy. You have no right. Leaning in, Alex gave his new friend a quick hug. “I’m happy for you, Sarah.” A series of small cuts on her cheek reminded him her last few days had been extremely difficult and frightening. Caught in a maniac’s attempt to flee Quinten, Sarah had been briefly turned into a human shield. “And I’m glad you’re okay too.” He fingered the little nicks on her face. In an instant, Jace moved in behind Sarah. His pale jade gaze turned downright icy. He slipped his arm around Sarah’s waist and tugged her to his chest. “Quick.” He bit that greeting out through clenched teeth. Alex swallowed down his laugh. “Come on, Deputy.” God, he’d told the man he was gay. What more did the guy need to hear? “I thought we’d gotten to the point where you were going to start calling me Alex.” “Maybe when you stop touching my woman so freely, I will,” Jace said with a growl. Sarah rolled her eyes but also smiled. “Forgive him.” She rubbed Jace’s forearm, and Alex swore he could see Jace’s hackles settle. “He’s had a fright.” Simultaneously Jace uttered, “A fright, woman?” as if Sarah had grievously insulted him, as Alex said, “I know.” It hadn’t taken two minutes of their first meeting for Alex to see Jace was completely in love with Sarah. At the time, he’d also seen the clear commitment Sarah and Jasper had between them. What Alex hadn’t deciphered was Jace and Jasper’s attraction to each other, in addition to Sarah’s love for both men, binding them all together. That had thrown the whole town for a loop. For Alex it was refreshing to know he could still be surprised in this world. Until seeing the three of them together, he hadn’t realized just how jaded and detached he’d become. Especially about relationships. Maybe that’s why you haven’t had one in over a year. “Do you have good news?” Sarah asked, her excitement drawing Alex back into the moment. “Did you get agreements from everyone to sell?” Alex had come to Quinten to buy three small ranches that butted up against one another just outside of town. “Indeed I did. That’s why I’m here.” He couldn’t help standing up a little straighter or from keeping the smile off his face. “Compton, Michaels, and Sandavow have all agreed to my offers. We’ll sign the contracts next week.” “Congratulations!” Breaking from Jace, Sarah lifted her arms in victory, and then gave Alex a fast hug. “I can’t wait to see the beautiful homes you create.” Jace actually stepped forward and held out his hand. “Congratulations, Quick.” “Thank you.” The pleasure in Sarah and then the firm handshake from Jace filled Alex with a swift flood of warmth and affection, something he never let invade

6

Cameron Dane

his work. What the hell? He could and often was affable—being easy around people was part of what made him so successful at his job—but business was still just that—business. You’re adding to your empire, not looking for a best friend. Get your focus back. Shaking himself mentally, Alex put his attention on Sarah. “Now I just need you to tell me what you want for your commission. Name it and it’s yours.” Sarah lifted her hands out in front of her and even took a step backward. “No. I don’t want a gift.” Her brows pulled, creating furrow lines above her nose. “I didn’t do anything.” “You damn well did,” Alex argued. “I wouldn’t have acquired this land so fast without you.” Inside his pocket right then, vibrations hummed against his thigh, indicating a phone call. “Start thinking about it,” he added as he stepped away. “I’ll be right back.” With his mind still on Sarah, and even Jace, Alex didn’t bother to check the screen for a name before answering the phone. “Hello. Alexander Quick speaking,” he automatically said, putting a finger to his ear as a pickup truck gunned to life across the street. “Hey, Alex darlin’.” A distinct, feminine, southern twang instantly transported Alex back to his childhood—and sent a chill down his spine. “It’s Helen Shreveport. You remember me?” Everything around Alex sucked away, and he felt as if he stood in a void. “What is it?” he asked, his throat already making his voice gruff. “You told me to call if something ever happened, and I never forgot. I never lost your phone number.” Helen wheezed a bit as she spoke. “Mack ain’t gonna call you hisself, but he’s in a bad way right now. The VA clinic transferred him to a hospital in Atlanta. He’s gonna bust out and come home as soon as he can, but I got a cousin who works up there, and she told me his heart ain’t so good anymore. He’s got some problems with his gut too. I’m thinking he’s been staying alive on pure stubbornness. Not sure how much longer God’s gonna let him keep that up.” Panic waged a war against the usual calm inside Alex. Thank God his years of education and training automatically kicked in and allowed his mind to home in on one productive goal. “I’ll be on a plane tonight.” In his head, he already began making a list of people he would need to call while packing and finding a flight. “Thank you for calling me.” “You were always a good boy,” Helen replied. “And I know how much you love that ornery goat.” “I’ll be there soon,” Alex said and hung up. Son of a bitch. You bastard. How could you hide this from me? Alex’s hands itched to strangle the man. “Listen”—Alex turned back up the walk to Sarah and Jace—“something I can’t ignore has come up, so we’re going to have to put this celebration on hold. But be thinking about what you want as a thank-you, because we will revisit the subject.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

7

“Is everything okay?” Sarah rubbed his arm, and God, that fucking warm sense of connection attacked Alex again. “Are you okay?” “You look a little agitated, Alex,” Jace added. His not referring to Alex as Quick pricked another sweet pain in Alex’s chest. “Do you need help with something?” “No. Thank you, though. I’m getting called out of town unexpectedly, and it’s something I can’t ignore. Don’t worry.” Alex had to back away before these unprovoked acts of friendship mingled with his fear and worry about Mack and pushed him over the edge. “Those contracts will get signed, and Quick Holdings will start prepping some of the land for building new homes. I’ll let you know when I’m back in town.” He waved from over the hood of his car. “Bye.” Without another word or looking back, Alex climbed into his car and drove away, using years of driving experience and instinct to get him back to the motel. What the hell, Mack? Helen had been right. Ornery was the perfect word to describe the guy Alex called old man. Once upon a time, when Mack had been much too young for the moniker, Alex had done it to tease, as a way to test their budding, yet still tentative, friendship that had slowly grown during Alex’s teen years. Now he did it out of complete devotion to a good man. Mack was also the first, and possibly the only man, Alex had ever loved.

*** Steady, Tenny. Steady. Hunter gripped the steering wheel with such power he thought he might fuse his hands to the leather. Just a little bit longer. Suppressed emotion squeezed Hunter’s heart so tightly though, he thought it might kill him. Tears slammed against the backs of his eyes, wanting to get out, making it difficult to see. I can’t wait. I need it now. The moment Hunter reached a secluded stretch of road—he had driven away from town after leaving his sister rather than toward it—he pulled the car onto the shoulder and then beyond, into the cover of trees. He tore at his shirt, ripping it open and off one arm, and then dug into his pocket with his other hand. The barest, first inklings of relief hit him when his fingers closed around a cold metal object. Withdrawing it, Hunter tensed his arm muscles, anticipating first contact. Click. The sound ricocheted through the car. Shadows prevented any light from reflecting against the knife’s pristine blade once it came out of its protective base, but that didn’t matter. Just the sound of the blade emerging allowed Hunter to believe relief would soon be at hand. As the overwhelming emotions from seeing Sarah and Jace again after so many years bubbled up in him again, he put the knife against his upper arm, blade kissing his skin. His hand shook, and he chastised himself for the weakness, but a drive inside pushed him forward relentlessly. Hunter pressed the sharp metal into his flesh and sliced a short, clean line into his upper arm.

8

Cameron Dane

Ahh! Damn it. Damn it. Heat and acute, concentrated pain rushed to the opened skin, and Hunter exhaled as blood started to seep out and form a row of tiny beads. The burn in Hunter’s arm grew, but it wasn’t nearly fast enough; he could still feel the swell of unchecked emotion fighting to escape. He quickly drew the blade across his arm again, and then a third time, cutting himself open repeatedly, until finally the fire consuming his arm from the flayed skin demanded Hunter’s total focus in order to keep from crying out in pain. Hunter clenched his fist again and again, watching and gritting his teeth as lines of red streaked down his arm, reminding him life still flowed through him even if he couldn’t bear to feel it anymore. Hunter had held it together at his old house for a remarkably long time today, considering the years that had passed since seeing his sister in person. Since being able to hug her or touch her cheek or hair. Once upon a time, Hunter had been able to do that with ease, but he wasn’t that young man—that kid—anymore. Multiple tours of duty in the Middle East, attaching to too many people just to watch them die, had fundamentally changed his identity. As Hunter rose above the screeching pain lighting up and down his arm, he finally started to breathe easier. The injury he’d inflicted on himself hadn’t worn him down. He hadn’t broken under the pressure. And he’d survived reuniting with his sister and best friend without losing his shit. As Hunter reached into the glove compartment to get the antiseptic and gauze to clean and bandage his cuts, he accepted without panicking he would successfully live for another day. Still, nobody could ever know that most of the scars riddling Hunter’s body had nothing to do with engaging the enemy during his time in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

9

Chapter One April Aware of the eyes watching him, Hunter swallowed down the comment that he would test his new gloves at his apartment and bring them back if they didn’t fit. Uncomfortable as hell, feeling on display, he slid the black leather onto his damaged hand. Hunter had lost his pinkie and ring fingers on his left hand over a year ago. The scar tissue had completely healed, but he’d never acclimated to leaving his damaged hand uncovered. He had never gotten used to the questions that came from complete strangers as a result; he hated even more the memories of so many other crushing losses the curiosity stirred in him. Don’t think about being overseas. Think about your new job. Hawkins Ranch had hired Hunter a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately the gauze bandages he’d been using to cover his missing digits weren’t working out for a job on a ranch. Right away he’d realized he’d need something more durable that wouldn’t snag or unravel while doing so much physical labor. Through Risa Boone’s store, Nate’s Bait and Saddle Shop, Hunter had been able to place an order for a specially made glove. Hunter adjusted the glove on his hand, letting his thumb and two fingers slip through the appropriate holes, and nearly sighed as smooth, cool leather covered the area where his ring finger and pinkie used to be, protecting it and the other scar tissue mapping his palm. He worked the extra-long armhole up past his wrist, careful to keep his shirt cuff over his arm, blocking as much skin as he could from prying eyes. Finally he pulled the tabs across his forearm that would tighten the glove and keep it from catching on anything while doing ranch work. A creamy hand came into Hunter’s vision but quickly pulled away before touching the leather. The hand belonged to his sister, and the withdrawal was yet another time she stopped herself from doing what came so naturally to her. She wanted to soothe and show her love for him, but she’d picked up on Hunter’s body language not to and respected it. Every time she pulled away, it pierced Hunter’s soul. He wished he could open his mouth and tell her to look at his wound, touch it, and do everything she wanted to try to make him feel better. But he couldn’t. Just letting her and Risa look at him right now stirred up a quickening in Hunter’s heart. He had to take repeated deep, slow breaths to keep at bay the desire to cut into his skin with his pocketknife.

10

Cameron Dane

Using his other hand, Hunter fingered his knife in his pocket. Just the contact with the hard metal casing helped settle him enough to go on. Take another breath. Once done Hunter even managed to lean his hip against the counter, hold up his gloved hand, and grin at his sister. “What do you think?” “It looks good on you,” Sarah replied, giving him a quick squeeze around the waist and then allowing him his space again. “I like it.” From the other side of the counter, Risa whistled softly. “It looks pretty badass, if I’m allowed to say that.” She waggled her brows at him comically. “You have a black glove now to go with the black Stetson. Plus you’ve got the stubbly jaw thing going. I think you’re starting to look a bit like an outlaw.” “He did cut his hair though,” Sarah told Risa. “He’s back to having this little cowlick I used to remember from when we were kids, so that takes some of the edge off the bad boy thing.” Hunter couldn’t believe it, but his shoulders loosened and a rusty chuckle actually escaped. Maybe for the first since he’d come back to the States. “I meant do you think it’s practical?” he asked. “Not if I look good in it. Will it hold up at work?” Sarah turned to Risa with an unspoken What do you think? in her raised brow. “Oh yeah, I think so,” Risa answered. “The workmanship is top notch, so there’s nothing to worry about in that regard. It’s just going to be a matter of getting used to it. It’s really not a bad idea.” She picked up a brown glove cut in the same design and held it against the back of her palm. “I mean, I have my own work gloves of course, but I only use them about half the time. It’s not doable for all ranch work. But something like this, where you have your palms protected with a nice thin layer of leather but still have fingers free…” As she put the glove back down, she fingered the soft leather once more before pushing her strawberry-colored braid over her shoulder. “I might have to get myself a pair.” “Good.” Dipping his head, Hunter offered a tight smile. “It means a lot to know you think it’ll be good for me. Thanks.” “Why don’t you try on the brown one too, just in case?” Risa suggested. “That way if there’s a problem I can get Leigh to make a call and take care of it right away.” “Right. Good idea.” Hunter worked off the black glove and slipped on the brown. He had purchased two gloves for his damaged hand: one for work and one for everything else. He figured it wouldn’t take long for the work one to get rank. People wouldn’t want to see and smell it when he had to go to the grocery store or when Sarah managed to drag him to a restaurant or her house for a meal. Different colors would make them quick to identify. Plus if something happened to his work one, he’d have a second one immediately available to relegate for work, and then have a new one made to replace the everyday one. The brown glove fit as beautifully as the black, and since Sarah had cornered him into a meal with Jace and Jasper at the diner tonight, Hunter went ahead and

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

11

left it on. Might as well start getting used to it. He paid the remainder of his balance on the special order, said good night to Risa, and followed his sister out of the store. Sarah slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, and Hunter jerked at the contact. Immediately Sarah pulled away, murmuring an apology. Fuck. Every time Hunter reacted on instinct, it hurt the people around him. People who just wanted to help. Shit. “You can hold my arm, you know.” Hunter forced himself to jut out his elbow in welcome. “It surprised me for a minute, that’s all.” “It’s all right.” Rather than grabbing him again, Sarah rubbed his shoulder. “We have a little bit of time before meeting Jace and Jasper. Do you mind if we run inside the youth center for a minute?” She waited for a couple of cars to pass, and then nudged him across the street. “I need to talk to Ty about one of the kids.” “Yeah. Fine,” Hunter answered. Sarah trotted up the few steps to the entrance, but Hunter held back. “I can wait outside. There’s a nice breeze in the air this evening.” “I shouldn’t be more than fifteen minutes. Oh!” Sarah collided with someone exiting the building. As soon as she looked up, she smiled. From the sidewalk, Hunter automatically stiffened as he recognized the blond hair, classically handsome face, and tight body. They’d not crossed paths since banging into each other the day Hunter had returned to Quinten, but enough of Hunter’s coworkers and people in town had been buzzing about the rich guy fixing to build fancy houses that Hunter knew this was the outsider to whom they referred, Alexander Quick. “Hi, stranger.” Sarah gave the man one of her fast squeezes. “I haven’t seen you in forever.” Alex grinned back at Sarah. “I know. I had to go out of town for a while, and I missed you when I popped back in to sign the contracts.” The breeze picked up and rustled through the man’s hair, bringing to Hunter’s attention that the neat, shorn style of their first meeting wasn’t quite as perfect today. “I just wanted to check in with Ty and give a quick session to the kids in my program before I head out for the weekend again.” A frown marred his sister’s pretty face. “Is everything okay?” “Handling some stuff that can’t be ignored.” For a split second, the man’s mouth pulled down at the edges, but a smile slipped back in the next second. He added, “I’m fine.” “Not that you’d tell me if you weren’t,” Sarah grumbled. “You’re pretty much like all the other men in my life that way.” Hunter swore pink tinged Alex’s cheeks just then. The guy’s shoulders pushed back so straight it made him look a good two inches taller. “You honor me by putting me in that company,” Alex shared softly, but Hunter still heard him. Couldn’t ignore the flutter the gentle tone evoked low in his belly either.

12

Cameron Dane

Oh no. No. No. Heat suddenly burned down Hunter’s back, and terrible, panicky thumping erupted in his chest. You are not attracted to him. “Speaking of…” Sarah tugged Alex down the steps. “You have not officially met Hunter. Alex Quick, please meet my favorite brother in the world—” “Your only brother,” Hunter cut in, trying to force a joke. Laughing sometimes helped calm him down. “Still my favorite.” Sarah glanced at Hunter with a mock scowl. “Don’t kill my intro, Bro. Alex, meet Hunter.” Christ. She easily curled her arm around this newcomer’s elbow, clearly without worrying about him flinching. “And, Hunter”— giving Hunter a few seconds of eye contact, Sarah then lightly touched his arm— “this is my friend, Alex.” An oh-so-fucking sexy, warm chuckle jerked Hunter’s attention to Alex. The guy waited with his hand extended in Hunter’s direction. “I’ll try this without crashing into you this time,” Alex said. “It’s good to meet you, Hunter.” Hunter furiously rubbed at the knife in his pocket. His mind flashed on making a good, deep cut into his thigh before he could command his body to extend his right hand and force himself to clasp this stranger’s in return. “I was the one with my head down that day. It was my fault.” Hunter couldn’t seem to focus on anything but the strong grip holding his. It feels so fucking secure. “I apologize,” he murmured, his stare still on those long fingers wrapped around his. “Not necessary,” Alex said, still clasping Hunter’s hand. “Shoot.” Sarah grabbed Alex’s wrist and turned it to reflect the big, chunky face of his watch. In doing so, she severed the contact between Alex and Hunter. “I need to grab Ty before he starts gathering up the kids who need rides home.” She tore back up the stairs, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll be right back!” Now alone, silence reigned between the men. Hunter didn’t know where the hell to look or what to do, but he didn’t think staying trapped in this man’s intoxicating green gaze ranked anywhere near the top of his list of good ideas. It made Hunter think about those eyes getting all hazy with desire and then going cloudy as the man shouted in the throes of release while Hunter had every inch of his cock buried deep in his ass. Damn it. Hunter grunted and turned away, squeezing his eyes shut as the first stirring of an erection twitched his prick against his jeans. Jesus Christ. The reaction sucker punched him. He hadn’t experienced genuine arousal in too many years. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had sex with another man. And now I can’t even trust myself to attempt it anymore. Alex cleared his throat, and the deep, scratchy sound snapped Hunter back around and his attention off the ground. Hunter had studied his own tension enough in a mirror to detect it in another person a mile away, and Alexander Quick showed all the signs of stiffness right now. Fuck. Now I’m making complete strangers uncomfortable too.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

13

“Okay, well…” Alex pointed behind him and started backing down the sidewalk. “It was nice to meet you, but I have to get going. Can you tell Sarah goodbye for me? I’m heading back out of town early tomorrow morning, but I just got my new trailer delivered to the property, so I still need to check out of the motel and move my stuff before I leave. No sense in paying for a room for two more days that I won’t be in.” The pink slashes across Alex’s cheeks became full-on ruddy red. “Which you didn’t need to know. Right.” Hands returned to Alex’s pockets, and he spun away. “Bye.” Before realizing it, Hunter strode the two steps it took to catch up to Alex. “Even though people are calling you an outsider, I’m sure what you’re doing is fine.” Holy hell. Why in God’s name had he blurted out that? “I don’t think you’re trying to take over the town.” Fucking A. He’d done it again. Alex turned on a dime and closed the distance between them in a shot. “What did you say?” He spit that out faster and deadlier than a sniper’s bullet. Heat, fire, life swirled all around Alex in an invisible arc, one that invaded Hunter’s space and tagged dormant circuits inside him he’d long thought dead. Sparks began igniting within, and the more Hunter stood this close to this man, the hotter he grew. His blood felt like it had turned to lava, and looking into Alex’s cool, green stare made Hunter think touching this person and kissing him would be the only way to soothe the burn within. At the same time, Hunter’s need to touch kicked up his heart rate in a terrible, familiar way, and he battled an overwhelming desire to get away before he did something stupid, ugly, and violent and gave his secrets away. Jutting, aggressive lines changed Alex’s face to something full of unforgiving beauty. “Talk, damn it.” He grabbed Hunter’s arm just as Hunter made to move away. “You can’t just say shit like that and then go mute.” The second Alex touched him, Hunter flashed on twisting the man’s arm behind his back and taking him to the ground in two quick moves. He even wrapped his hand around Alex’s wrist and started to turn him. Abruptly he let go and jerked away, realizing what he’d almost done. This man is a civilian. Shit. Once again Hunter shoved his hand into his pocket and rubbed his thumb over the folded knife, again, again, and again. What did he say before you almost broke his arm? Focus. Breathe. Rubbing the knife in Hunter’s pocket didn’t ease a damn thing within him. Think. Hunter forced himself to meet Alex’s scrutinizing stare. “I apologize for twisting your wrist like I did.” Shaking his head, Alex said, “No need. I shouldn’t have grabbed you in the first place.” “My sister obviously likes you,” Hunter said, reaching for normalcy and common ground. “If you were intending to do something destructive to Quinten, she would have figured you out by now.” Alex whispered a litany of foul words through tight lips. Tunneling his fingers through his hair, he picked up disheveling it where the wind had left off. “I am not

14

Cameron Dane

trying to take over this town or hurt its well-being or charm in any way.” Shards of green glass glinted cool chips within the blaze burning Alex’s stare. “I bought property. I’m allowed to do that, you know.” He practically snarled as if daring anyone within his range to contradict him and risk getting bitten. “I’m going to hire a bunch of local people and pay them to build some damn nice houses a number of the residents in this town can afford to buy. That’s it.” Alex finally exhaled, but it was clear a snapping animal still had hold of him. “Nothing more. Nothing less.” Unable to look away, even though he couldn’t unleash his hidden grip on his knife for anything, Hunter whispered huskily, “I believe you.” His stare narrowing, Alex suddenly appeared confused. “Good. Now if you’ll excuse me”—he patted himself down as if he couldn’t find something that was supposed to be on his person—“I really do have to go.” He gave one more sharp nod, added, “Have a good night,” and strode away at a fast clip. By the time Alex rounded the corner to the parking lot, Hunter had slipped into the narrow gap between the youth center and the building next door. Closing his eyes, Hunter leaned his shoulder into the brick, but Alex’s intense stare still lived front and center in Hunter’s mind. Alex’s obvious intelligence was so very clear. He even had some arrogance living in his eyes, yet there’d been a flash of bewilderment too, and that made Alexander Quick so very human. Hunter’s cock stirred along with the rapid beating in his chest. Sweat pooled at the small of his back, creating new fingers of panic when he realized he could not use his knife. Not here. He didn’t have anything on him to clean up the blood. And he couldn’t leave. It would crush Sarah. He’d already canceled on her too many times since coming home. Pictures of Alex still haunted Hunter, though, making his balls and dick swell with the reminder that his body had been asleep for a long time and missed intimate contact with another man. The sexual interest dangled itself like a key in front of Hunter’s caged emotions, threatening to unlock the steel door and let loose every ugly thing hiding inside him. No. Quickly, Hunter turned his body at an angle to best shield himself from passersby. Praying for privacy, he used one hand to force back the fingers and wrist on his other to an unnatural angle. Motherfucking shit. Hunter clenched his teeth as he applied steady pressure, more, more, more, until every pain receptor in his body screamed at the concentration of acute discomfort searing through his fingers and wrist. Hunter knew how far to push to make it hurt like hell without snapping anything, and soon the perspiration filming his back and neck had nothing to do with overwhelming sexual attraction and everything to do with overcoming the incredible physical pain he inflicted on his hand. Within moments, all hints of arousal fled. Thank you. Hunter released his death grip on himself, instigating shooting pinpricks in his hand to let him know the blood had rushed back. Once more, everything started to return to normal. Okay. It’s okay now.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

15

Hunter just needed a couple of minutes to breathe and he would be able to go back out to the sidewalk to wait for Sarah. It would be better now that Alex was gone. Attraction was not good for Hunter. Love could never exist in his life again. What the hell were you saying back there? Alex didn’t babble in front of anyone for any reason. He fucking stared down tycoons who could eat him for breakfast and shit him out by lunch, and he did it without showing so much as a bead of sweat to give away his fear. And he damn sure never let himself get flustered because of a man. Except you just did. Alex laughed as he climbed into his car, the sound properly mocking as it reached his ears. Other than basic physical attraction, Alex didn’t understand what had prompted his babbling once Sarah had left him alone with Hunter. Nervous rambling did not jive with what Alex knew about himself. He had experienced pure, unstoppable lust for other men a handful of times in his life—just sheer undeniable physical attraction—yet he’d never behaved with those men the way he just had with Sarah’s brother. It had to be something else. It’s Mack. The thought popped into Alex’s brain unbidden but without surprising him. He’s what is different. The person Alex cared about more than anyone or anything else on this planet was dying and wouldn’t let Alex help him. During his visits with Mack in the last five weeks, Alex found himself constantly fighting memories bubbling to the surface in ways they hadn’t in years. Those memories, and the unearthed emotions attached to them, had begun to infect every aspect of Alex’s life. Shit, it was what had prompted Alex to buy a trailer and oversee this project in Quinten, and he knew it. When he’d originally decided to pursue this plot of land and develop homes on it—a first for Quick Holdings—Alex had planned to assign one of his people to head the project. He’d intended to fly back to Boston after signing the contracts. Only here he was, spending at least half of his time in Quinten, when this deal wasn’t anywhere in the stratosphere of the most lucrative or even the riskiest of his endeavors. It’s Mack. But it’s Sarah too. Alex liked the young woman. He liked her a hell of a lot. Not sexually, of course, but she made him laugh and smile. She reminded him to eat something other than fast food and even invited him to her home for meals to make sure it happened. Her two men liked to glare at him and call him Quick, but they couched it between asking insightful questions about his business. Jace and Jasper even joked with him on occasion and included him in conversations that pertained to their lives. Sarah mostly, but all three of them in their own way, made Alex feel like he…like he…mattered to them. As a person. Not as an employer or business associate. The element of friendship with those three people, when combined with everything going on with Mack, had to be what spurred this immediate interest and sense of connection to Hunter, a virtual stranger. That has to be it.

16

Cameron Dane

Still, those dark brown eyes that never quite held his, as well as that odd temperament in the man haunted Alex for the rest of the night. He woke up early the next morning to the sound of his alarm clock, his hand wrapped around his cock, shouting in the privacy of his new trailer as he shot hot ropes of cum all over his belly. Thoughts and pictures of Hunter Tennison still filling every corner of his mind.

*** Hunter drummed his hand against the steering wheel of his new-to-him used truck, a recent purchase he’d accepted he’d have to acquire once he’d started working for Hawkins Ranch. It hadn’t taken him long to remember he would need a vehicle that sat higher off the ground for the unpaved terrain of ranch land. Just yesterday he’d found something used that had good guts, already had dark tint on the windows, and that he could afford. Country music softly filled the single-cab vehicle. Twinkles of light lit against dew in the grass on either side of the road. As the sun began to rise, Hunter basked in it and let it fill him with contentment. Work sometimes triggered the destructive tendencies living inside Hunter, but he’d found if he drove the long, roundabout route to Hawkins Ranch in the mornings, the extra time and seeing the sun emerge allowed a calm to settle inside him that often lasted the whole day. Hunter essentially circled the town on the state and county roads and entered the property from the back side rather than the straight road most folks used. The scenic route had the added bonus of giving him the whole road and drive nearly to himself. Until he rounded a bend today and came upon something he’d never seen on this drive before. Good Christ. That is a thing of rare beauty. Hunter’s mouth went dry just looking. A good twenty-five feet ahead, almost in the grass, Alexander Quick jogged toward the horizon. The man ran in the same direction Hunter drove, so Hunter could only see his back, but Jesus, he did not have a shirt on, and his black running shorts didn’t do much more than cover his ass. Damp blond hair clung to Alex’s scalp, and the fine, fit line of his back and sleekly muscular legs reminded Hunter of his glancing assessment the first day they’d bumped into each other. A runner’s body. Literally, apparently. Just as Hunter’s dick started to stir in appreciation of the view and spur the first twinge of nervousness in his chest, Alex’s leg crumpled under him and the man hit the cracked asphalt on his knees. Shit. Hunter immediately swerved onto the shoulder and screeched to a halt behind Alex, spinning marbles of old road under his tires. Shoving his door open, Hunter tore out of his truck and rushed to Alex’s side. “Are you okay?” He stooped down next to Alex, who had shifted to sitting on his ass and now cursed and rubbed his left thigh. Hunter moved in to put his arm around Alex’s back but jerked back before making contact.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

17

“Charley horse,” Alex replied through a clenched jaw. He worked his long, elegant fingers into his muscles, deep into the dense tissue, and Hunter couldn’t help noticing the baby-fine, pale hairs on the man’s legs. One glance up from Alex, though, and Hunter absorbed real pain shading the color of his eyes. “It’s my own damn fault,” Alex added. “I didn’t run over the weekend, and then I woke up late so I didn’t warm up the way I know I should. Fuck.” He hissed and continued massaging his thigh from his knee to the seam of his shorts. “It’s seizing like a son of a bitch.” Alex’s face paled in a way that made Hunter wince. “Do you want me to drive you to the hospital?” he asked. Alex looked at him askance. “For a cramp?” One eyebrow rose along with his voice. “No.” Stupid. “Sorry.” Humiliation burned Hunter’s skin. “I was just asking.” “No, I’m sorry.” Alex shifted but immediately went back to sitting on his rear end. “You’re being nice, and I’m being a jerk asshole.” “Aren’t you by definition a jerk already if you classify yourself as an asshole?” Hunter murmured, watching Alex warily. Rearing, Alex’s mouth gaped. Then the most incredible, inviting sound filled their patch of grass on the side of the road. Alex chuckled. So fucking warm. And he smiled too. Alex added, “Good point,” and openly laughed at himself again. The ease in this man drew forth a rush of pleasure with a chaser of fear from Hunter, both of which warred for supremacy within. Alex suddenly grimaced again, and years of training to assess and correct a situation kicked in for Hunter. “Would you like some help up?” This time Hunter successfully completed the task of putting his arm around Alex’s waist. He didn’t allow the brush of hot, damp skin against his shirtsleeve to overwhelm him. “I can at least take you home. It’s probably not a good idea to finish your run.” Only inches away, Alex’s eyes continued to twinkle with humor. “Good advice, and an offer of assistance I’d be smart to take.” With only one small grunt, Alex wrapped his arm around Hunter’s shoulders. Without too much jostling, they both got to their feet. “Thank you.” Hunter braced Alex against his side, held him tight, and tried to take most of the man’s weight. Alex clearly favored his right leg but did take steps with his left foot without the leg collapsing under him. Awareness of every inch of Alex’s hard, nearly naked body tucked against his side awakened Hunter’s blood. Sweat clung to the man’s flesh, and every time Hunter inhaled the pungent, musky scent, he wanted to lean in closer to lick Alex’s moist skin and take a taste. As they progressed to the truck, Hunter’s heart picked up its pace, but the panicky tingling that usually followed stayed mostly at bay. He envisioned the knife in his pocket to help keep him calm; just picturing it regulated his breathing enough not to have to touch it in order to feel better.

18

Cameron Dane

See? It’s okay. Barring the trip into public to purchase his truck, Hunter had spent almost all his weekend researching the physical harm he inflicted on himself. He’d learned with determination he could self-correct his behavior. He just had to be mentally stronger than his desires to injure himself. He had to beat the dark, ugly urges inside him. Maybe simply gaining knowledge of that truth helped a lot in becoming successful in implementing it too. You’re holding Alex. You’re attracted to him. You’re nervous but you’re all right. They reached the truck, where Alex transferred his weight to the side of the vehicle while Hunter opened the passenger side door. Using his good leg, Alex hoisted himself into the cab with only a hand braced on Hunter’s shoulder for support. Once Hunter knew the man was all the way inside, he shut the door, rounded the front of the truck to the driver’s side, and climbed in too. After getting the engine going again, Hunter glanced at Alex. “Which way am I going to take you to your trailer?” Exhaling audibly, Alex rested his head into the seating and then rolled it to look at Hunter. “Make a U-turn and head back toward the entrance to Sandavow’s land. I’ve left the roadside signage up for the old properties for the moment.” He went back to working his thigh muscles; his lips thinned as he did it. “It makes it easier to explain to people where I am and where we’re starting to build the first houses.” While backing his truck onto the street to get them going in the right direction, Hunter kept one eye on the deserted road and one on his passenger. “You’re not building all the houses at the same time?” he wondered, curious in spite of his desire to keep to himself. But damn, Hunter overheard people talking about this man and his plans almost everywhere he went. Many demonized him while a much smaller but vocal minority wanted to clip angel wings on his back. Hunter admitted to himself the polarizing nature of the guy, along with his own physical attraction, made Alex Quick a fascinating figure. With a fast glance at the man owning his thoughts, Hunter added, “The word mansions has been thrown around more than once, but I hear people betting it’ll end up being as many tract homes as you can cram on the property too.” Alex’s mouth tightened again. This time Hunter didn’t think it had anything to do with his charley horse. “I’m sure you’ve heard a lot,” he began, his tone remarkably even, “but no, we’re not building everything at once, nor will they be mansions. Starting a massive building project wouldn’t be any more practical than designing a house with ten rooms and as many bathrooms. What we can do is build two beautiful, interesting, reasonable-sized homes and refurbish the Compton’s old farmhouse this year before the weather turns and puts a halt to much of the construction until next spring.” “Oh,” Hunter murmured. Damn. That didn’t much fit with the rampant talk in town. Right then Alex pressed his fingers into his thigh. His breath caught, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “Do you mind if I stretch out my leg across the seat?” His

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

19

pinched mouth made the request as much as his words did. “It feels a hell of a lot better when I keep it straight.” “Go ahead,” Hunter agreed. “The fabric is not in great shape. You’re not going to make it any worse.” “Thank you.” Adjusting sideways to put his spine against the door, Alex lifted his leg and settled it across the seat. The press of the man’s running shoe into Hunter’s hip immediately drew Hunter’s attention down to golden skin and more pale hairs. Hunter swallowed thickly, but he couldn’t help following that line of muscle and bone over a sculpted calf and scraped knee to a sleek but solid thigh and then—Oh shit. Hunter immediately averted his gaze. He stared straight ahead down an empty road with as much focus as if he were circling a racetrack at a hundred miles an hour with thirty-five other cars. But he’d seen it. Oh hell, it had only been a split second, but Hunter could catalogue everything as if he’d feasted his eyes for hours. A smooth red sac with the roundest, most defined balls Hunter had ever witnessed, and the base of a shaft nestled into the palest white fur. Jesus, the only thing I didn’t see was the shape of the head—sleeved or snipped—and the width of his slit. Thinking about the rest of Alex’s cock brought forth a picture of Hunter kneeling down, discovering the full shape of it up close, and parting his lips to take the hot, hard length into his mouth for a good suck. Hunter’s chest started to pulsate faster along with the quickening of blood in his penis. He scrambled for a way to talk himself down from attaining full wood. “Umm…” He gripped the steering wheel with every bit of his might. Phantom sensations of his missing pinkie and ring fingers completing the grip created a wiggle of odd feelings up and down his arm and brought a twisted focus to Hunter once more. Didn’t mean he dared look Alex’s way again, though. Eyes forward, Hunter asked, “How many houses are you going to build?” “Eighteen, if you count the Compton refurbish,” Alex replied. “That’s all?” Hunter looked at Alex without thinking, his shock at the small number overriding all else. Long-suppressed hunger overrode the tension twisting Hunter’s gut and dragged his attention back down to where every red-blooded gay man’s would go. Another glance at those perfectly shaped balls and the tantalizing hint of cock flooded Hunter’s mouth with saliva. Fuck. This isn’t going to work. “You have… You’re not…” Even if Hunter didn’t look, his proximity to body parts he hadn’t seen, touched, or loved on another man in too long filled him to the point where he couldn’t concentrate on anything else. Feeling the blush suffusing his face, Hunter commanded his focus back to the empty road. At the same time, he made an ultrafast point toward Alex’s crotch. “I can tell you’re not wearing any underwear.” “What? Crap, I’m sorry.” Mortification filled Alex’s tone. “Here I am stretched out like I own the place—” A sudden groan mixed with a “motherfucking shit” from Alex seared through Hunter, prompting him to stop the truck. Fuck this. Hunter

20

Cameron Dane

looked and saw all the color had fled from Alex’s skin. He had his teeth clenched too, and the hurt etching his face overrode all else. “You shouldn’t have to be in pain,” Hunter said, drawing Alex’s gaze to his. Eye contact trapped Hunter and put an uptick in his heart that beat out seeing this man’s cock. Clearing his throat, Hunter murmured huskily, “Put your leg back up. There’s a towel in the glove box you can use to cover up.” It probably lasted a second, two tops—Hunter couldn’t be sure because he couldn’t break eye contact—but it felt like Alex studied every millimeter of Hunter’s face for an eternity, mapping, assessing, judging, before a small smile edged up the tight lines taking over his lips. “Thank you,” Alex finally said and reached for the latch. “This has got to be one of the most embar—” Ice suddenly froze Hunter’s blood. “Wait! No!” He reached across and slapped Alex’s hand away. Christ, I forgot all the other stuff I have in there. Grabbing the latch himself, Hunter hung in suspended animation as his mind raced with his next move. Paralyzed too, Alex narrowed his stare. “What’s the matter?” Stop freaking out, Tenny. Hunter averted his gaze. “Nothing.” Think. Alex didn’t have any idea Hunter cut himself on a regular basis. Without full information or a window into Hunter’s brain, Alex wouldn’t assume the antiseptic or burn creams and salves in his glove compartment were anything but a haphazardly thrown together first-aid kit for his vehicle. As for the box cutter and small skinning knife, those weren’t entirely out of place in a ranch hand’s truck either. Silently commanding himself to open the glove compartment in the same manner he’d opened the passenger side door just a few minutes ago, Hunter pinched the latch and slowly lowered the hinge door. “It’s just overstuffed with my crap. I didn’t want everything spilling onto the floor and under the seats just because I hadn’t given you fair warning.” He grabbed the rolled white towel, dropped it onto Alex’s lap, and closed the door with the natural pace of any other sane person. “There you go.” Barely registering Alex’s “thank you,” Hunter took his foot off the brake and got them moving again. “Tell me about your plan for the houses,” Hunter said, scrambling for normalcy. Within moments Alex had his shoe nestled against Hunter’s hip again, and Hunter knew the man had shifted his leg back onto the seat. From his peripheral vision, Hunter saw Alex drape the towel over his lap. Clearing his throat, Hunter added, “If you’re allowed.” “No worries.” Alex’s grin was one of a man accustomed to owning the world. “They’re not top secret, and even if they were, it would be my decision to break it. Short story is I liked the area, the land was good for building, and the community was ripe for another tier of home ownership. I decided to see if I could buy some land. I was successful. As for the Compton house, I loved the architecture of it and decided if my architect and contractor thought it was worth saving, we would. The house has only had patch-job upgrades for nearly forty years. It’s a hundred years

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

21

old, but they both feel we can save the historical and structural integrity while updating it to include all the modern amenities. I was pleased to hear that. It’s a beautiful, charming house someone will definitely want to own.” Ahead, Hunter took note of a painted plank of wood with Sandavow’s old steer head logo. “But word of saving that home isn’t convincing people of your good intentions?” Conditioning had Hunter clicking on his blinker even though he had yet to encounter a single vehicle on this road. “I can’t help that,” Alex replied, bracing himself against the dashboard as Hunter turned onto a bumpy dirt road. “As I said, because it’ll be early May when we start, we’ll only build two other houses this year. My plan is to build the other fifteen over the course of the next three years. No two will have the same exterior design or exact interior layout but will be within similar square footage. Each property will have a lot of open land for the owners to do with what they like.” As Hunter pulled to a stop in front of a silver trailer that looked like a foilwrapped baked potato, Alex’s gaze strayed out his window to the vast expanse of green as far as the eye could see. “I can’t control it, but I’m hoping the buyers will decide to leave the landscape intact. I’m hoping they’ll want the open space and wild beauty of nature to serve as their back-porch view.” “That sounds almost romantic of you,” Hunter murmured. Whoa. What the hell made him keep saying inappropriate shit to this man? Alex only shrugged, and Hunter allowed himself to exhale. “It’s hard to get people to believe in a newcomer,” Hunter said, his thoughts straying to locals on an entirely different continent, and the frustration and sense of impossibility in gaining trust from a people who couldn’t even communicate with each other in the same language. “Blind trust in an outsider is difficult in the world we live in today.” “Yeah, I know.” Alex’s nod was sharp and quick. “And if you Google my company—as I’m sure most of Quinten’s residents have—you’ll find I have hotels in many major cities and tend to build condominiums and office complexes in those areas as well. This project is a first for Quick Holdings. People will need proof before they believe.” He shrugged again. “I can live with that.” After turning off the engine, Hunter braced his hands on the steering wheel, his focus on Alex. “It’s good that you have patience. You’ll need it.” Alex gingerly folded his leg and lowered it back to the floor. “What I have is a sound financial investment and a determination not to let anyone or anything deter me from my goal.” Always, Alex maintained eye contact, sometimes just sideways glances, but enough to keep Hunter riveted and on the edge of arousal. “Erupting on people who don’t agree with me or who can’t yet see my vision isn’t good business.” “Good luck to you.” Hunter’s voice sounded incredibly husky to his ears. Crap. His pulse picked up, stirring the rest of his body into awareness too. Stop it. He quickly cleared his throat and averted his gaze. “Well”—he gestured to the trailer plopped in the middle of vast, open land—“this is it. Home sweet home.”

22

Cameron Dane

Alex chuckled, and once again the rich depths of the happy sound drew Hunter’s attention. The man stared through the windshield to his temporary accommodations with something of a wistful light in his eyes. His mouth softened too. “Don’t let its gleaming, aluminum-foil likeness fool you,” Alex said, glancing Hunter’s way. “I’ve lived in houses that were smaller and less well thought-out.” Flashes of dark nights where sleep didn’t come shimmered in front of Hunter’s eyes like a mirage. “I’ve lived in tents and even holes that were smaller still,” he shared. All traces of humor left Alex’s stare. In the stillness, palpable between them, Alex studied Hunter with a piercing intensity that clutched at Hunter’s very soul. Sweat immediately began to trickle down Hunter’s back. Across the short distance between them, Alex closed the gap with just his gaze. “I can’t even begin to imagine the conditions you’ve lived in, slept in, and worked in while you were overseas.” He reached out and covered Hunter’s hand on the steering wheel. Oh Christ. With extreme training and will, Hunter suppressed the shudder fighting to rip through him. For a span of seconds that felt like years, Hunter stared at Alex’s long fingers squeezed around the back of his hand, and worked with everything in him to disconnect himself from the contact. He mentally tried to sever his arm from his shoulder, but too much warmth from Alex’s touch had already snaked up Hunter’s arm and teased its way to other parts of his body, infecting too many places to cut away just one. Unable to tolerate the warm touch, Hunter snatched his hand out from under Alex’s, curled it in his lap, and cleared his throat for an entirely different reason than unwanted attraction. “Most people can’t understand.” The worst of Hunter’s nightmares, of any surviving veteran of combat, had nothing to do with living conditions. They had to do with people. With all the crushing loss that could never be reversed. “I’ve stirred memories,” Alex said softly, his gaze solemn on Hunter. “I apologize.” No. You don’t get to see inside me just because of a few kind words. Nobody does. Hunter pushed open his door and simply said, “Let me help you inside.” “Absolutely not. Stay where you are.” After waiving Hunter off, Alex pushed open his door and slid to the edge of the seat. “You’ve done too much already.” With half his body out of the vehicle, Alex reached across the seat and shook Hunter’s hand. “Not to mention I’ve probably already made you late for work. Oow.” Alex stumbled rather spectacularly on his exit. He ended up precarious, with his ass perched on the edge of the attached footstep he’d so recently used to climb into Hunter’s truck. “Fuck.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

23

Hunter couldn’t believe it, and it wasn’t nice of him, but as he rushed around the truck to Alex, he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Elegant, Alex wasn’t. Stooping down, Hunter searched a too-attractive face made full-on approachable by the severity of its blush. Green eyes did enough laughing for both of them, though, and dug sweet talons into Hunter’s chest, paining him in a way that tweaked good and bad things inside him. Right now a mostly pleasant sensation hummed inside Hunter, and his skin hardly itched for a bloodletting at all. Success. Hunter braced his hand next to Alex’s leg and looked straight into the man’s still-twinkling eyes. “Do you want to rethink my offer of help?” Alex didn’t hide, but the red infusing his face raced furiously down his neck and even pinked his chest. “Probably a good idea.” As on the roadside, he slid his arm around Hunter’s shoulders. “I gratefully accept.” Once Hunter got Alex to his feet, the man’s hold slipped to around Hunter’s back, befitting Hunter’s superior height. Hunter got Alex situated against his side and started them moving. This time Alex definitely struggled with putting pressure on his cramping leg, and Hunter took more of the man’s weight. “I think you might have more than a simple charley horse.” Hunter attached Alex to his side in order to get him up the trailer’s narrow set of steps, even as his gut told him to pick Alex up and deposit him back into the truck. “Maybe you should let me drive you to the ER after all.” Alex lifted a leather cord from around his neck and slipped the attached key into the doorknob. “I’ll take a shower and put some heat on it first. If it keeps tightening on me by the afternoon, then I’ll have one of my guys drive me into town.” His tone brooked no argument. A diplomatic way of saying butt out. Fair enough. Never let anyone say Hunter was a hypocrite. “I’ll let you get to it then,” he said, backing down the stairs. Alex whipped out his arm and grabbed Hunter’s hand. Hunter’s injured, gloved hand. “Thank you for stopping.” Jesus God. Hunter went tauter than a drum. The man almost seemed to fucking massage the ridged landscape where Hunter’s pinkie and finger used to be. Leather might as well not have been between their skin at all. Eyes on Hunter, Alex never looked down at what he held. “When you saw me, you could have kept right on driving.” “No.” More of that damned thickness filled Hunter’s tone. “I couldn’t have done that.” Once again Alex’s touch started flickering more phantom contact up Hunter’s arm, across his neck, and down his spine, inducing that shiver he’d been able to conquer before. Hunter quickly twisted the hold into an awkward handshake, and then turned to head to his truck. “Bye.” He tucked his head down and didn’t look up again.

24

Cameron Dane

That was, until he climbed behind the wheel. Hunter glanced up as he got ready to put the truck in reverse. Movement through the trailer’s window grabbed his attention. And then—holy fuck—the sight stole his breath. Beyond the curtainless rectangle of glass, Alex stripped out of his shorts. Hunter’s truck sat high enough for him to get a complete, unobstructed view. He saw a tight ass with a paler hue than his legs and back, proving Alex often ran outdoors in those or a variation of those little shorts. Without those shorts, Alex’s slim hips and long legs made his back and shoulders appear that much wider. Hunter knew working at Hawkins Ranch would quickly help him regain the breadth of his shoulders and create an overall thicker frame than Alex possessed, but that didn’t for one second mean Alex was anything less than perfection. Right where Hunter sat, his nuts started to swell with seed. Just then Hunter noticed Alex grab onto a cabinet, righting himself before he swayed. He took a step and then shifted—almost out of view. But not entirely, and good Christ, Hunter got a throat-drying view of Alex’s long, slender cock, jutting a decent amount out from the nest of white blond curls. He’s getting hard. It didn’t take looking at Alex another second for Hunter to grow painfully erect behind his unforgiving jeans. Without thinking, he started unbuckling his belt, desperate to get his hand around his dick and gain some relief. He got the loops open and the button on his jeans undone when his heart seized and his hand went still. What the hell am I doing? Before Hunter could think twice, he gunned the engine and peeled away, his heart racing. Alex could have looked up at any moment; he could have noticed Hunter still there. He might have walked outside, saw Hunter with his prick hanging out, jerking off while staring in the man’s window. What the fuck kind of pervert have I become? Wildly disturbed, Hunter got back on the road. He headed toward work, but his thoughts lay back on Alex’s doorstep. Acknowledging that he’d peeped on Alex in such a private moment made Hunter’s stomach churn with sick, yet at the same time he couldn’t erase the image of the man’s erection. It had been full-on stiff by the time Hunter had come to his senses and driven away. Hunter had been getting boners for long enough to know that on certain days the right breeze could bring on wood. Still, Alex had touched Hunter’s hand, twice, and he’d held Hunter’s stare more than once during their drive to the trailer. He’d looked without the discomfort a heterosexual man would often exhibit when in such a situation with another male. Doesn’t matter. Hunter screeched the direction of his thoughts to a grinding halt. You can’t let something happen. If they got naked together, Alex would see everything. He would see all the disgusting ugliness mapping your body. Alex would likely think the scars were from IED shrapnel taken during his time in the Middle East, but the thought of such an incorrect assumption only made Hunter more nauseous. Sickness moved from his gut into his throat. He could evade or outright lie to Alex, to anyone for that matter. A person who’d never served time in a war would believe the story. Hunter could never do it, though. He knew too many fellow soldiers with severe, real injuries sustained in just such situations, and he could

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

25

never denigrate their suffering for an easy out to embarrassing questions. Alex— nobody—could ever see Hunter naked again. Hunter laughed out loud, the sound awful as it filled his empty truck. So what? The physical complications didn’t even take into account the fuckstorm in Hunter’s head. It wasn’t like he could be intimate with Alex, even if the man wanted it. Hunter’s mind was so screwy he would freak the guy out within five minutes of time alone together. Except you were mostly okay when you helped him just now. You kept control of your heart rate and hardly got panicky for your knife at all. Hunter rolled his truck to a stop in the Hawkins Ranch employee parking area, his jaw on his chest as that truth hit him. He’d been nervous, yes, but not to freak-out levels. Buzzing with attraction and awareness of Alex, Hunter had dealt with it as any normal man would. Maybe he could overcome his need to self-injure, just as he’d read on the Internet. With a little experimentation, and some insane willpower, he might not only get his relationship with Sarah back but one day be able to have something with a man too. As he got out of his truck and said hello to another cowboy, Hunter didn’t feel quite so heavy a press on his shoulders as he had just the Friday before.

*** Thrashing in bed, in deep sleep, Hunter walked among hundreds of bloodied, dead soldiers, the bodies piled so high they reached his knees. No. Please. Go away. Hunter covered his eyes, desperate to get through the field of crimson-covered masses to the safety on the other side. In the distance, a male voice called to Hunter, promising him sanctuary in his arms. Yes. Hunter knew that rich voice; it both stirred and soothed him at the same time. Hunter slogged through the carcasses, tears streaming down his cheeks as he silently apologized for not looking into each of their faces or honoring their deaths. His pulse threaded into his throat and down into his gut, making him feel like he would throw up. He had to get to Alex soon; only Alex could make Hunter better. Alex called to Hunter again, his voice so close this time Hunter risked opening his eyes. Stunning blond male perfection stood nude less than twenty feet away, beckoning Hunter home. Alex. Hunter ran, tripping and catching himself repeatedly in his need to reach Alex and salvation. One more leap and Hunter cleared the field of death and swooped Alex into his arms. Laughing uproariously, Alex threw his arms around Hunter’s neck and began kissing him all over his face. In between, he promised Hunter wild, romantic nights of lovemaking that would last a lifetime. Hunger burned within Hunter, and he mumbled into Alex’s mouth that he wanted to get started right now. With one whisper of agreement from Alex, Hunter shoved his way past Alex’s lips and kissed him with a passion that left Alex’s mouth swollen and red. Not nearly enough, not an ounce of anything gentle in him anymore, Hunter snarled, spun Alex around, and folded him over at the waist. Hunter ripped through Alex’s

26

Cameron Dane

body with a brutal attack, fucking him until he’d surely torn the man in two. Relentless adrenaline pumped through Hunter’s blood, and orgasm offered him no release. Once Hunter came, he held Alex down by the back of the neck and began pummeling him with his fists, reveling in the slap of his knuckles making repeated contact with the man’s flesh. Hunter didn’t stop until he’d mangled every bit of Alex’s perfect body, and the rush of freedom exploded within. Shouting his victory, Hunter heaved Alex over his head and tossed his limp frame onto the pile of other broken bodies. When Alex hit, he rolled, landing on his back. Unblinking, he looked up at Hunter with forever-open, dead eyes. Oh my God. “Nooooo!” Hunter jerked up in bed, his scream of denial echoing in his darkened bedroom. Sweat soaked his long-sleeved T-shirt and flannel bottoms, and shaking racked his frame. He blinked and blinked and blinked but could not get Alex’s lifeless stare out of his head. Wiping his sweat-slick face, Hunter climbed out of bed and raced to the bathroom, chanting, “It was just a dream. It was just a dream.” He turned on the faucet and splashed water on his face, but the cool liquid did nothing to assuage the heat coursing through him, burning him from the inside out. Hunter studied himself in the mirror and told the haunted man looking back at him, “You would never hurt another person like that.” His gaze immediately dropped to the fresh box of razor blades on the sink. Whispering, desperate not to grab them, Hunter promised, “It was just a dream.” But maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was yet another sign that Hunter now carried death with him wherever he went. “No.” Breaking his commitment to himself but unable to get that terrible image of Alex out of his head, Hunter reached for a razor blade and put it to his flesh. He had to. It was the only way to assure he kept the violence inside contained to himself.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

27

Chapter Two His mind on his early drive to the airport tomorrow, his gut clenching as he thought about what condition he would find Mack in this weekend, Alex strode out of the grocery store with a plan to get in some solid hours of sleep tonight. Between attuning himself to every breath Mack took when he went home, and sleeping on a couch that did not fit his frame, Alex knew he wouldn’t catch many z’s over the next two days. With arms full, he made his way down the row of trucks toward his leased compact. As he walked, he mentally started sifting through his to-do list, reprioritizing and deciding which tasks he could trust to other people in his organization. Suddenly one of the paper bags in his arms started to slip. The movement of one triggered the shift of another, and soon the balance of all four bags had Alex bending and surging in an effort to save his food. He cursed as the sound of paper tearing rent through the night air. Alex almost lost his hold completely, but at the last second a Good Samaritan swooped in with a “whoa” and grabbed two of the bags out of his tenuous hold. Once Alex wrangled the other two bags back under control, he glanced up to say thank you. Deep brown eyes shaded by a black cowboy hat made his tongue stick to the roof of his mouth, rendering him mute. Goddamn. Alex’s throat went drier than a salt lick. Hunter Tennison stood before him in a long-sleeved chambray shirt with a western yoke and dark jeans that emphasized his long legs and muscular thighs. The hard lines bracketing the man’s mouth and the little sunburst lines fanning from the corner of his eyes only added layers of character to an already fascinating face. He is so sexy. Hunter’s shuttered gaze could not hide a depth of knowledge and life experience. In turn Alex barely managed to swallow down the countless questions he had about this man, some of which had existed before Hunter had come home. Since meeting him a handful of times now, Alex’s curiosity had only grown. Instead of blurting one of those questions out right now, Alex swallowed, managed to get some saliva back into his mouth, and offered a red-faced smile. “Thanks for the rescue.” He juggled the bags some more in order to stick out his hand. “Again.” Hunter closed his hand around Alex’s. “You’re welcome.” When Hunter squeezed and shook Alex’s hand, rough calluses and dozens of little nicks etched into Hunter’s skin slid over Alex’s flesh, sending a jolt of awareness through his system. The contact ignited tingle after tingle through Alex’s palm and fingers. He

28

Cameron Dane

automatically clasped harder in return, ridiculously desperate to embed those imperfections into his skin like a brand. What the hell? Alex didn’t do needy, clingy, or desperate. In point of fact, he ran from it when he sensed it in other men. Shaken, Alex jerked his hand away, and in the process almost sent his groceries crashing to the ground again. Shit. In a flash, Hunter braced his arm flat across the front of the bags and saved them one more time. “Maybe we should get these to my car before I decide God is trying to tell me something about the junk food I eat.” Flaming from top to bottom—Alex could fucking feel the inferno taking over his skin—he took a firm grip on the bags and started walking. Thankfully Hunter fell into step beside him. “Your sister tells me my eating habits are going to catch up with me one day, and I’m sure she’s right.” A wonderful, gritty chuckle escaped Hunter. “My sister doesn’t see you running every morning. From what I see when I look—” Hunter suddenly went silent. Alex whipped to look at Hunter, heat suddenly warming him for an entirely different reason than humiliation. Hunter had come to a complete stop. For a moment, it appeared as if he couldn’t see Alex. The man repeatedly whispered something under his breath. What the fuck? Although tightness clearly pulled at his lips, Hunter then nodded and began walking again. Alex scrambled back to his side. After clearing his throat, Hunter said, “I just meant you obviously take good care of yourself, and I’d bet all your important health stats are just fine.” Glancing from the corner of his vision, Alex murmured, “So far so good.” Upon reaching his car, Alex clicked the button on his key chain to pop the trunk. Hunter settled his bags in first. He then stole the next part of conversation out of Alex’s mouth when he began taking the bags from Alex’s arms and placing them in the trunk for him. Everything about the moment screamed domestic in Alex’s brain, and Alex didn’t do domestic any more than he did desperate or needy or acted on urges to save men with lovely, lost eyes. “But Sarah is right”—Alex felt words spilling out of control from his mouth again—“and I do appreciate when she and her boys invite me over for dinner to eat something that isn’t processed to within an inch of its life. I eat a lot of crap I can zap in a microwave. It’s not good for me, and I know it.” Hunter closed the trunk for Alex. “I have a lot of that shit too.” He crossed his arms against his chest, which pulled his shirt taut across his shoulders. Right there on the tip of Alex’s tongue sat the question: Would you like to go out to eat a real meal with me? Yet something inexplicable inside wouldn’t let Alex put sound to the words and let them take flight. Then again, maybe not so unexplainable. I don’t know him well enough. Just because his sister is a good woman doesn’t mean I can trust him. Alex hadn’t sent Hunter’s name to his investigator to have a background check done either, and he didn’t date men without knowing the score first. On the other hand, the guy had stopped to help him the other day, and he’d stepped in today too. He would have helped anyone. You aren’t special. That thought actually tugged at

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

29

Alex inside and made him feel lighter rather than sink him down into the ground. Alex wanted to spend time with a good person, not someone who only exhibited good tendencies around him. Then it didn’t matter. Hunter ducked his head and began walking away. “I have to go,” he called back to Alex. “The store is closing soon.” Son of a bitch. Alex silently swore at himself, not at Hunter’s retreating figure. While Alex had let his mind wander ten steps ahead to them possibly getting to know each other better, he had clearly left awkward silence between them. In the process, he had either offended Hunter or damaged his ego. Shit. “Bye!” Alex yelled across the lamp-lit parking lot. “Thank you.” When three other people openly stared, Alex wanted to skulk into his car. He forced himself to remain in place, watching Hunter from behind, his heart racing much too fast to ignore. Already a dozen cars away, Hunter waved without looking back and kept striding toward the grocery store entrance. At least he acknowledged I said goodbye. The store did indeed close in fifteen minutes, but it looked like Hunter had the hounds of hell nipping at his heels. It seemed a bit of an overreaction for a perceived slight, but then again Alex couldn’t entirely explain his own nervousness, rambling, and hesitation tonight either. He still wanted to put his unusual behavior on his fears about Mack spilling into other parts of his life, or even just pure, flat-out sexual attraction he hadn’t experienced in far too long, but neither of those excuses clicked as neatly into place as they had a few weeks ago. They didn’t quite explain the frequency with which Hunter lived in Alex’s dreams. They don’t quite explain the way my chest inexplicably constricts whenever I’m near him either. Alex liked living in a world with facts that couldn’t lie, questions that had definitive and logical answers, and situations he could break down into as many parts as necessary in order to successfully solve. Hunter fit none of those criteria. Yet as Alex climbed into his car and drove away, he couldn’t stop the continued fluttering in his belly that existed for this quiet, enigmatic man. I like him. And I don’t know why. Damn it.

*** Clearly unaware of Hunter across the street, Jasper and Sarah both leaned in on either side of Jace and pressed kisses to his cheeks. In turn, Jace growled and captured Sarah’s mouth to his while sliding his hand down Jasper’s back to his ass. Jasper tucked his blond head into the curve of Jace’s neck, probably giving him a little love bite, and Hunter turned away, unable to look. Exquisite love and loss hit Hunter in the gut, slamming him so hard he actually grabbed his stomach against the phantom punch. Warm hazel eyes full of laughter took over the picture in Hunter’s mind’s eye, making his heart smile. In a

30

Cameron Dane

blink the image changed and turned Hunter’s blood freezing cold. He would never forget holding Will’s hand, long after a time he should have let go. Help me, Will. Hunter slipped his hand into his pocket and let his fingers glide over his knife, praying the smooth, cold metal could focus the storm brewing in him and bring Hunter back into control. You always said or did just the right thing to help keep me easy and calm. A young man’s voice, with its deep southern accent, took over Hunter’s brain. His sandy-haired likeness quickly followed. “Kick back and laugh, Tenny,” Will had said. Smaller than Hunter, wearing a brown T-shirt and army fatigues, Will had then dropped down on the narrow bunk and slung his arm around Hunter’s shoulders. “Uncle Sam doesn’t pay us enough to go crazy with worry on our downtime. Now check out this ad I found in this magazine.” After he said that, Will had folded back a brightly colored, glossy page in a woman’s magazine to reveal a slick black-and-white ad featuring a stunning couple. “I’m gonna go beat off to this smokin’ lady who is wearing nothing but a smile, and when I’m done I’ll give it to you and you can go jerk off to this dude with the underwear showing all his junk. Scully told me he’s supposed to be the chick’s husband.” Will had then slapped the magazine against Hunter’s thigh, even as the thunder of an explosion in the distance shook the foundation of their camp. “Sound like a good night in to you?” In the parking lot in Quinten, Hunter chuckled as he had that night in Afghanistan. Leave it to Will Hicks not to know a celebrity couple when he saw one. It was one of the many things Hunter loved about the guy. Had loved. Past tense. Giant pinpricks jabbed at Hunter’s middle again, and the pressure of tears had him clutching his knife like a lifeline. What had once soothed Hunter in a time of crisis—an incredible, odd guy just being himself—now triggered the destructive impulses Will had often helped keep at bay. Hunter never should have beckoned thoughts of Will. Not when he had to focus himself in order to get through a dinner with a joyous threesome who had no idea their incredible love and happiness pushed Hunter closer and closer to an abyss from which, if he fell, he would never be able to climb his way out. “Sarah! Jasper!” A familiar, bourbon-rich voice cut across the air and sent a shiver down Hunter’s spine. He spun from where he leaned against the side of a building and watched Alexander Quick jog to Jasper, Sarah, and Jace. Alex—looking much too handsome in a dark blazer, white shirt, and jeans— came to a halt next to the threesome. “It’s great that you guys are still outside. Evening, Jace.” He shook the deputy’s hand. “I’m glad you haven’t gone to eat yet. I wouldn’t have wanted to interrupt your meal.” With Jace and Jasper tugging Sarah between them, Sarah smiled up at Alex. “We had to wait for Jace to finish up work, and are still waiting for Hunter to arrive. What’s up?” “It’s my goddamn car. It won’t start. Jasper”—Alex turned that too-green stare on Sarah’s blond cowboy, and Hunter picked up his stride to get to the group—“I swear I’ve heard you talk about learning the machinery engines at Hawkins Ranch.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

31

Can I be the absolute worst kind of freeloader and ask you to take a look at my car for me?” Before Jasper could open his mouth, Hunter swooped in and said, “I’ll do it.” Alex spun to face Hunter. His brow pulled, creating lines Hunter itched to rub away. “Oh, Hunter. Hi.” Alex took a step closer, and the cool evening breeze suddenly crackled with electricity. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” “I know a bit about cars,” Hunter answered. “You probably just need a jump, and I have cables in my truck.” His breathing actually came a little bit easier when he turned to Sarah, Jace, and Jasper, even if he did have a hard time making eye contact with his sister. “Go ahead and get started on dinner without me.” Hunter already began to back away. “Just in case it’s something more serious, I’ll give Alex a ride to his trailer. If that’s the case, I don’t want you guys sitting around holding up your meal for me.” “It’s still early,” Sarah said. Every compromise or acquiescence Hunter ever could have dreamed for lived in his sister’s eyes. “We don’t mind waiting. I promise.” Christ. Hunter could barely look at Sarah without succumbing to her wish for a real family reunion he could see in her gaze. Every time Hunter witnessed that desire, though, an overwhelming need to cut or burn or slam himself into something hard and unmovable washed over him. Those needs fought against violent imagery directed at Jace or Jasper, or worse—Hunter trembled right where he stood—at Sarah. Fucking shit. Hunter’s heart squeezed with unbearable pressure, pushing at him to spew the avalanche of emotions inside until it burned him and everyone around him to ashes. No. Fight it. Right in front of everyone, praying nobody noticed, Hunter curled his ungloved hand into a fist and squeezed, harder, harder— oh yes, please, break, skin, break—until he sliced tiny nicks into his palm with his trimmed fingernails, drawing sharp, concentrated pain but miniscule amounts of blood. Keeping his hand closed, Hunter looked at his sister but concentrated on the cuts and wet smears of blood under his fingertips. “It’s better if we reschedule and have dinner another night,” he said. “If that’s what you want.” Sarah untangled herself from Jace’s and Jasper’s arms and took obvious, careful steps to Hunter’s side. “I’ll call you soon.” “Okay. Have a good night.” Giving Sarah something, Hunter dipped down and accepted her kiss to his cheek. He then nodded at Jasper and Jace—ignoring the hell out of his best friend’s scrutinizing, pale stare—and beckoned to Alex. “I assume you’re parked at the youth center?” Hunter asked the man, while still entirely conscious of Jace giving him one more hard glance before grabbing Jasper’s hand, putting his arm around Sarah, and guiding them across the street to the diner.

32

Cameron Dane

“I am,” Alex answered. Walking backward, he headed in the direction from which he’d come. “All right.” Hunter moved in the opposite. “Let me go get my truck and I’ll meet you there.” Alex made eye contact from twenty feet away, holding for a hair longer than necessary, and Hunter became conscious of his breathing for reasons other than fear of losing control. He couldn’t break the hold of Alex’s gaze, and his skin warmed with every second he stared. Alex suddenly nodded and spun away, and he began rubbing at the back of his neck as he strode down the sidewalk. On his way to his truck, Hunter fought the shiver of nerves tingling down his spine—the bad and good kind. The fissures of awareness in relation to Alex gave Hunter pause, but in truth didn’t hold a candle to the emotional havoc sitting down to dinner with Sarah, Jace, and Jasper would have brought forth. The blush of their new love, something they absolutely should not have to smother for him, triggered bad things inside Hunter that only reminded him of the loving, profound relationships he’d lost overseas. Climbing into his truck, Hunter reminded himself he was not the man who’d left the United States to go to war so many years ago. He never could be that guy again, and he had to find a way to get right with that truth. Hunter didn’t think he’d ever be entirely comfortable around people who hadn’t lived and breathed the life he had in the Middle East. Alex was no more an exception to that rule than Sarah, Jace, and Jasper were. Alex filled Hunter with too much awareness and renewed sexual desire— neither of which helped Hunter find his center and a place of calm. Yet at the same time, Hunter had experienced a few minutes of total comfort with Alex just the other day in the grocery store parking lot. Discomfort had almost gotten the best of him at first, but he’d successfully and quickly talked himself down. For a few minutes he’d even forgotten about anything but the pleasure in chatting with a handsome man. Then Alex had gone silent and had looked at Hunter with a scrutiny reserved for scientists and their specimens. Every panicky warning siren Hunter had successfully suppressed had gone off in his body. He’d felt certain he’d unmasked himself in some way and Alex could see the flawed, ugly person within. At that point, Hunter had needed to get to his car, to a place of privacy, and to his knife before he did something in public that disgusted the entire town. Hunter rubbed at the gauze covering the fresh scars on his hip, letting their newness remind him of the dried splotches of blood on his hand. Shit. The moment Hunter turned in to the narrow parking lot, he immediately spotted Alex’s silver compact. Thank God for dark windows. After parking his truck in the slot directly in front of Alex’s, Hunter dug through his glove compartment for a moist towelette and some antibacterial cream. As quickly as his fingers would move, he wiped the blood off his hand and then dotted the cuts with medicated cream, letting the burn of the chemicals hitting the tiny cuts bring him back into control once more. Not

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

33

bad. Each concentrated, brief burst of stinging pain on his palm helped rein Hunter’s heart rate under control. You can do this. You’ve proven you can maintain focus and cool around Alex more than once. The terrible nightmares of hurting him are just that—bad dreams. Just get out of the truck and help him. Hunter quickly exchanged his brown glove for his black work one to befit the potentially dirty nature of the task ahead. Feeling surprisingly, remarkably calm, Hunter exited his vehicle and joined Alex just as the man opened the hood of his car and locked it into place. Hunter braced his weight across the front of the car, taking a moment to assess the guts of the vehicle for any obvious issues. When nothing stood out to him, he asked, “Were you able to start the car at all?” “Yeah.” From his position near the left wheel, Alex nodded. “Twice, and both times it died.” “Okay. It’s probably the alternator rather than the battery, but let’s be sure.” Reaching under the open hood, Hunter pressed gently against one, two, three belts, looking for too much or too little give against his fingertips. Frowning, he glanced up at Alex. “Belts all feel like they have the right tension. Can you start the car for me?” “Sure.” Alex backed out of sight. A moment later he called, “Tell me when!” Hunter already had his hands well clear of anything that could whack off more of his fingers. “Do it,” he said back, his attention on the car’s mechanics. The engine successfully fired, roaring in Hunter’s ears. Before the engine could die, Hunter reached in and removed one of the cables from the battery. Instantly, the engine went silent. Alex reemerged and made eye contact with Hunter. “What’s your diagnosis?” After reattaching the cable he’d disconnected, Hunter closed the hood of Alex’s car for him, pressing until it clicked firmly closed. “I didn’t hear any whining or thwacking while it was running. I think it’s definitely the alternator itself rather than a belt issue, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the alternator is dead. It might just need some cleaning, or something might not be connecting properly. You’ll need to have a mechanic hook it up to a computer to find out for sure.” After waving away a pesky moth from near his cheek, Hunter scratched at the area to get the itching sensation off his face. “A jump will get your battery going for a few minutes, and the engine can pull from it, but it’s definitely not enough to get you all the way out to your trailer, and it certainly won’t help you tomorrow morning when you try to get going again.” “It’s a lease,” Alex said, thumping his hand against the hood, “so whatever it ends up being, I’m not on the hook for the cost. Still, I’ll have to get it to a local mechanic and see what the dealership wants me to do. Hopefully they can have a backup here by the morning.” The issue of the car no longer a source of conversation, Hunter went to shove his hands into his pockets but then met the resistance of his glove. He let his hands

34

Cameron Dane

fall awkwardly to his sides instead. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more,” he said, his tone suddenly a little husky. “It’s all right.” Alex stepped closer, bringing warmth through his very body. Immediately Hunter found his heart kicking up its beat again. With another step, Alex closed most of the distance between them. “I’d say thank you for rescuing me yet again,” he murmured, his gaze shimmering in the waning light, “and I do thank you for helping me out.” Alex lifted his hand, and Hunter flinched. Alex didn’t back away, though. He paused for a brief second, then brushed his thumb and forefinger across Hunter’s cheek, the warm sensation fleeting but shiverworthy. Withdrawing, Alex lifted his hand, showing the dirt he’d removed from Hunter’s skin. He wiped his hand on his jeans, but his clear, grass-pure gaze stayed locked on Hunter. “But tonight I think I actually saved you.” Hunter backed up until his spine hit the grill of his truck and he could move no farther. “What?” All the confidence he’d exhibited, and actually felt for real, during his time checking Alex’s engine, helping him, leaked onto the ground like a car spilling oil. Mirroring Hunter, although certainly without the tension, Alex rested against the hood of his car, studying him from the four feet of distance between them. “You did not want to have that meal tonight,” he shared, “at least not with your sister and her men.” He shrugged and easily slipped his hands into his pockets. “I afforded you an easy excuse out.” Fuck. Hunter could not get to the knife in his pocket. This man watched him far too closely to do anything undetected. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He crossed his arms. Defensive posturing took over his tone as much as his stance. “I was plenty hungry for dinner tonight.” “But not with them,” Alex corrected. “It’s okay, you know.” Crossing his legs at the ankles, Alex somehow seemed to settle in even deeper to his superior position. “You don’t have to admit it. It doesn’t take away from it being the truth, though, either.” “What is this?” For every second Alex remained calm, Hunter felt more and more naked and on display. “You’re some kind of mind reader now in addition to being a big-shot millionaire?” “I didn’t get to where I am today by being blind,” Alex replied easily. The breeze lifted his neatly tamed, blond locks and settled them again, as if it didn’t dare get one strand out of place. “It’s a thousand times better to be a keen observer than to know how to talk a good game. As someone who negotiates deals all the time, if I know your weakness, if I can read in you exactly where I captured your interest in my proposal, if I can sense what makes you tick, then I know how to strategize and what to say to get a yes on the deal.” “Of course you’re a brilliant strategist.” Hunter snorted, feeling himself wind up tighter with every retort. “I’m sure you’re a genius at everything you do. Once I saw this piece of crap car you drive, I should have known better than to think you gained success by throwing lots of money around to look the part.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

35

Alex performed a modified bow. “I’ll take that as a compliment. But like I said, the car is a lease. Until today it did the job just fine.” The fine hairs on Hunter’s neck lifted and had him pushing closer into Alex’s space. “That might be true, but you can lease any kind of car you want. You can get something luxury that not only looks more expensive on the outside but actually has higher quality mechanics under the hood. But you didn’t do that. And that doesn’t even take into consideration when you said something to me a while back about moving out of your motel room, not hotel, and not some nice house you rented while you’re in town. A motel. You went the cheapest route.” Widening his stance, Hunter closed his arms against his chest right in front of Alex. “Why is that?” Shrugging, Alex replied, “The motel was convenient.” “I can buy that about the motel, but you can’t say that about the car.” Studying this man, once again fascinated, Hunter held eye contact as he stiffened to attention, as he did when he wore his dress uniform. “But it’s just as convenient to lease a high-end car as it is an economy. That argument doesn’t fly across the board.” Alex pushed off the car, his arms now crossed too. “What’s your point? So I don’t get all hopped up about cars. I’ve never dreamed about owning a Porsche or Ferrari. For me, as long as it can get me from point A to point B, I don’t really care who makes it or how much it costs.” Hunter just suppressed pointing his finger in Alex’s face and shouting aha! “But if you really didn’t care, then the odds would be just as likely you’d get the nicer car over the lesser one.” Looking Alex over from top to bottom triggered intimate, personal questions Hunter no longer knew how to properly or civilly ask. “You’re cheap on purpose.” “So?” Alex said it with a shrug, but twin lines of pink cut across his cheeks. “So nothing.” Hunter shrugged right back. Watching Alex’s blush grow only made Hunter want to dig in and root out more about this man. “It’s just interesting to me that you don’t come clean and outright admit it.” “All right, fine.” Alex moved forward, almost stalking with two small steps. Hunter automatically backed up until he could move no more. “I chose the cheap motel on purpose, and I also deliberately went with the less expensive car.” His stare glinting green chips of ice, Alex planted his hands on the truck and leaned into Hunter’s personal space. “I also happen to wear tighty-whities that I buy for six ninety-nine a pack over designer brands that cost twenty-five bucks a pair. I also have the most stripped-down, basic cell phone on the market because I don’t need or want it to do anything more than make phone calls. Should I continue listing all the cheap-ass stuff I buy rather than the pricier alternative?” He bared his teeth, and Hunter got a glimpse of the shark inside this attractive, tailored facade. “Because there’s more, and I can.” His blood humming at maximum velocity, Hunter grabbed Alex by the lapels of his jacket and propelled him backward. “Hey. I never asked you for an itemized list of how you spend your money. I’m just curious about why—”

36

Cameron Dane

“No way.” Alex took hold of Hunter right back, twisting one hand in Hunter’s shirt right over his heart. “A minute ago you seemed to think you had the right to question me about this stuff, so let me elaborate even further. I happen to spend a decent chunk of change on my running shoes because I need the quality and comfort. I also happen to have my suits tailor-made so they fit my frame well.” He held on to Hunter’s shirt so tightly it crushed his fist into Hunter’s chest. “I spend money where I believe it’s warranted, Mr. Tennison. Otherwise I’ve been taught it’s smarter to invest it or put it in the bank. When you grow up as poor as I did, you don’t waste money and expect to remain wealthy.” His chest rising in big waves under Hunter’s hands, Alex breathed heavily as if he’d just completed one of his morning runs. “So now you know some very personal stuff about me.” Uncurling his fist, Alex smoothed the fabric he’d wrinkled on Hunter’s shirt. His voice infinitely softer, he said, “Now how about you give me something intimate in return so that we’re even?” His heart thumping in a way Alex could surely feel, Hunter slipped into the bottomless depths of Alex’s interested, open gaze. “It hurts to be home,” Hunter said, the words abrading him on the way out, “but I can’t ever let anyone I love know about it.” He then tore himself out of Alex’s hold and veered straight for his driver’s side door. He could feel Alex close on his heels. “I drive by Pete’s Garage on my way home.” Hunter climbed in behind the wheel and got the engine started. “I’ll stop and let him know to send a tow truck to you. The driver will take you home. Bye.” “Wait.” Alex grabbed hold of the door handle. “Hunter?” He tried to open the door, but Hunter had already locked it. With a curse Alex let go, but only took one step back. “What the fuck did you mean by that?” Full of fear that he would blurt out something else a thousand times more personal, Hunter didn’t dare look into the man’s eyes again. He murmured, “I have to go,” and peeled out of the parking lot. Rather than stopping at Pete’s, Hunter made a call to let the garage know about Alex’s situation. He could not see another soul right now and risk another stupid confession. What in the hell had possessed him to blurt out that shit about it hurting to be home? To Alexander Quick. Someone his sister had quickly come to believe one of her dearest friends. The man would tell Sarah everything. No he won’t. As careless as Hunter had been, he sensed on a fundamental level Alex would not sell him out. Each had revealed something private tonight. Although Hunter didn’t understand Alex’s embarrassment with the frugal label, Alex clearly had some issues with people viewing him as a wealthy man who didn’t live up to the hype. And while it didn’t exactly compare to Hunter’s confession, Hunter would respect Alex’s privacy as much as he hoped Alex would honor his. Please. Hunter’s heart raced furiously. He eyed the glove compartment over and over again, aware of every cutting device in the little compartment and how his hand felt curled around each one. Just in imagining himself slicing neat, soldier-straight little lines in a row into his flesh with the small razor blade, Hunter experienced a

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

37

jolt of euphoria. But I don’t need to do it. He dug his cut-up hand into the steering wheel, rubbed it across the braided leather enough to break open the small nicks again, and brought temporary stinging discomfort that helped him focus. Then it hit Hunter, and he had to pull over his truck or risk crashing into something. Holy hell. Hunter slumped against the steering wheel, amazed. If he dismissed the very end of his conversation with Alex, then Hunter had for the most part kept himself well in control, away from destructive, cutting thoughts, for almost his entire talk with Alex. Not until Hunter had admitted to his secret pain in returning home had the thought of a blade slicing through his skin entered his mind. Damn it, yes. Not only had Hunter kept control, but he’d been so immersed in sparring with Alex he’d hardly had to deal with nervousness or fear. He’d just simply enjoyed himself with the man. Again. The destructive dreams involving him didn’t manifest in reality in any way. Maybe Hunter could handle Alex after all. Maybe I don’t have to have an exit strategy every time I get near him. Maybe, just maybe, he could get better. For good. As he pulled back onto the road, Hunter grinned as his cock throbbed and his balls tingled. This time Hunter didn’t fight the pleasure.

*** His heart skittering, Alex scanned the area of Hawkins Ranch within his sight line as he made his way up the steps to the main house. Privately he could admit to the transparency of his visit; he just hoped like hell nobody else noticed or called him on it. He could have taken care of this task over the phone. Or even better, Ty, the young man assisting in running the youth center, could have made the call or visit for him. Ty had all kinds of personal connections to Hawkins Ranch and would likely visit the property soon. Alex did not have to be here. Ty isn’t ridiculously hoping to get a glimpse of Hunter, though. Alex’s skin heated as he knocked on Conner and Cassie Hawkins’s front door, yet he continued to search the spattering of workers milling about, looking for Hunter. Alex might as well be one of the tweens or teens in his stock market program down at the youth center, and he knew it. His behavior certainly didn’t reflect the decorum of a thirtyone-year-old man. Next thing he knew, he’d be writing Alex + Hunter in the margins of a contract or proposal. This is stupid. Alex still hadn’t even bothered to start a background check on Hunter. Yet here he stood, searching for a man he didn’t know, all because Alex hadn’t seen Hunter since their exchange in the youth center parking lot. Alex had quickly grown used to Hunter giving a little wave as he passed Alex running in the mornings—only Hunter hadn’t driven past him one time in the last three days. Worry had set in. Worry Alex knew had no basis in reality. If something had happened to Hunter, the news would have circulated around town by now. So he was a little vulnerable the other night, and it grabbed at your core. That doesn’t make you his guard dog. Alex wanted to sink through the porch floorboards more and more every second he stood on this property. I have to get out of here.

38

Cameron Dane

“Can I help you?” A feminine voice cut across the warm air, making Alex spin toward the source. At the bottom of the porch steps stood a woman in dirty jeans and snug T-shirt with HAWKINS RANCH emblazoned across the front. She had her brown hair pulled back in a braid. The strands of gray mixed in with the dark color, along with the makeup-free face, made her eminently approachable. “Oh, Mr. Quick. Hi.” Cassie Hawkins—Alex recognized her from their paths crossing at the youth center—smiled up at him. “It’s good to see you again.” “Mrs. Hawkins.” Alex traipsed down the steps and extended his hand. “Hello.” “Please, call me Cassie.” She pulled off work gloves before shaking his hand. “Can I help you with something? You didn’t have an appointment with my husband, did you?” “No. I’m actually here to see Aaron.” Alex withdrew a folder from under his arm. “Ty told me this is where I would find him.” “We finally did get temporary custody of him.” From conversations at the youth center, Alex knew the Hawkinses had worked to achieve foster care status so they could bring the twelve-year-old orphan into their home. “He’s out with Connor getting the official tour of the property right now.” She crossed her arms, and the smile suddenly left her eyes. “What do you want with our Aaron?” Damn it. “No. I apologize. It’s nothing bad or weird.” Alex felt like a defense witness on the stand against a star prosecutor. “I heard from Ty that Alex wanted to join my stock market program at the youth center but was too shy to ask. I wanted to come out and invite him, and I wanted to give him this information.” Alex handed over a blue folder. “It has a schedule of the classes, the tools he’ll need, and what is required to maintain eligibility for the competition.” Cassie flipped through the pages inside the folder. “Aaron hasn’t mentioned anything about wanting to participate in your program, but at this stage that’s probably to be expected. This looks like a lot of fun.” Upon scanning the final page, Cassie whistled. “Wow.” She glanced up at him, her eyes wide. “You’re giving out some decent scholarship money for the top three winners.” “Quick Holdings runs this program in every city we own property,” Alex explained. “And while we ultimately won’t own the homes we’re building in Quinten, we are undertaking major construction and a long-term presence, so we decided to implement the stock market program here as well.” A twinkle lit Cassie’s eyes. “Sounds like you plan to stick around Quinten for a good long while.” “Yeah…well…I mean…” Good God. No other place or people in the world managed to tongue-tie Alex as much as the folks in this town. Starting over, he took a moment to gather his thoughts and said, “I don’t actually have to run the program myself. I can train someone. And honestly, the private Web site we’ve created for the kids perfectly mimics not only the NY Stock Exchange but also the major global exchanges. It is the biggest, best teaching tool we have available.” Back on solid

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

39

ground, Alex slipped into selling with ease. “The kids can talk to other kids who are in the program, and they can leave questions for experts that Quick Holdings makes sure are answered.” The glint in this woman’s gaze only grew. “You didn’t exactly answer my question, but you sound very proud of your outreach program. Congratulations.” “Not just me.” Alex waived off the praise. “It was a company-wide idea. It’s fun for all of us. We like participating and getting kids excited about business.” Cassie flipped through the booklet again. “And you’re sure Aaron wants to do this?” “That’s what I understand,” Alex replied. “He has missed a few weeks but still has a real possibility of being able to catch up and become a contender. It’s all about how well your mind has the ability to absorb this kind of information and how you learn. I might be biased, but I think it’s an excellent learning tool, along with the plus that it offers the possibility of earning scholarship money.” “It all sounds great to me. If Ty is right about Aaron’s interest—and Aaron trusts him, so I see no reason why he wouldn’t be—I’m sure Aaron will be excited you came to share this news. Connor and I will make sure he’s there”—Cassie ran her finger down the first page in the folder—“on Friday for his first class.” “Excellent.” Another potential future Quick Holdings employee. Alex didn’t have entirely altruistic views about this program. Great minds could come from anywhere. As an employer who coveted a combination of street smarts and intelligence in his associates, Alex had intentions that were as ruthless as they were charitable. “I look forward to getting Aaron up to speed.” Cassie tapped the folder against her thigh. “Let me put this in the house before I get manure all over it.” She moved past him and took the stairs to the porch. “It was good to see you again, Mr. Quick.” “Call me Alex.” He took the steps three at a time to reach her and exchange another handshake. “It was nice to see you too, Cassie. Bye.” Giddy as hell, Alex loped back down the steps. See? It wasn’t so stupid to come after all. Aaron’s a sweet kid, and you helped him out. Beyond that, Alex really liked what he knew so far of the Hawkins family and would love to get to know them better. Mack’s illness had driven home a number of truths for Alex, but top on that list was the realization that he had a lot of acquaintances and colleagues, and people he even trusted with his business, but very few close friends. You have Sarah now. I think Jace and Jasper too, even if they don’t say it. As much as Alex trusted Sarah, though, something inside him still held back from talking to her about Mack and the crushing paralysis the man’s illness put on Alex. Every time Alex opened his mouth to tell Sarah everything, something deeper in his gut smothered the words. You’re not used to spilling your soul. It’s not…you. Every nerve ending in Alex’s body suddenly sizzled to life and put the fine hairs on end. At the hood of his replacement car—yes, another economy model—he spun and immediately homed in on two riders in the distance. Not terribly close,

40

Cameron Dane

Alex couldn’t see the more slender cowboy well enough or decipher the finer characteristics as familiar. He didn’t have a clear view of the second man either. Didn’t matter though. Millions of receptors in Alex’s being knew the second cowboy, and they all hummed at the sight of him. Sitting atop a horse, the brim of his Stetson shading half his face, Hunter ignited silly warmth and tingles in Alex. He’s okay. Alex smiled, unable to keep the response down. As Alex stared, a rusty sound carried across the late spring breeze. That is Hunter laughing. Hell. Alex went from a grin to a full-on internal lightness, just for himself. Mission two accomplished. Alex had wanted to see Hunter. Check. He’d experienced an overwhelming urge to make sure the man was all right, and it looked as though he was fine. Check. Check. Now Alex could make a quick trip to visit Mack without extra worry on his heart. He’d trusted his instincts to visit Hawkins Ranch, and it had paid off. It is a good day. For a moment, Alex just basked in watching a specimen of male beauty sitting tall in his saddle. Hot damn. “Don’t look now,” Corey, Hunter’s work partner for the day, said, “but I think you have an admirer.” “What?” Hunter followed the deceptively slender line of Corey’s arm and found Alex in the visitors’ parking area, his focus on Hunter and Corey. “Oh.” Hunter’s mouth went a little dry. He couldn’t help it. Already classically handsome, Alex made a fitted dark T-shirt and khaki pants somehow sinfully sexy, when normally Hunter responded to what he’d grown up surrounded by and discovered he loved as an adolescent: a cowboy. Corey’s blue gaze narrowed in a squint. “I recognize him. He’s that rich guy, right?” Hunter’s heart started pumping blood faster, and he couldn’t look away from Alex. “He’s more than that,” he murmured, mesmerized by the lopsided grin Alex wore. “How so?” “I don’t know,” Hunter admitted. Innate admiration for the man filled him, though, even as the same admiration and attraction had him fighting the need to duck his head and hide. “He just…is.” “Oh.” Hunter blushed. Corey chuckled. Hunter went even redder, but still he couldn’t tear his stare from Alexander Quick. Grinning, from across a trampled field of grass, Alex dipped his head and offered Hunter a little salute. Without thinking, Hunter tipped his hat and offered a small wave back. After acknowledging the gesture, Alex climbed in behind the wheel and drove away.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

41

“Seems like he might be a good guy,” Corey said. “Yeah.” Hunter gave the slender young man next to him a rare smile. One that didn’t have a chaser of panic or worry. “I think he is.” I think he might be a real good man. Alex would not have come to Hunter’s work, spotted him, smiled, and waved, if he’d gone to Sarah and revealed Hunter’s secret. Many in town called the man shrewd, and Hunter suspected the assessment was correct, but Hunter had never witnessed malice or cruelty in Alex. He didn’t appear to be the kind of man to mock people. Coming to Hunter’s work today and saluting like he had would have been cruel if he’d revealed any part of their conversation to Sarah. Corey made a clicking noise and trotted his horse a few steps forward. “Ready to get some lunch so we can get back to work?” he asked, looking back at Hunter over his shoulder. Hunter pulled up alongside his coworker, shouting, “Let’s do it,” and they put both their horses into a thundering gallop. For the rest of the day, Hunter caught himself grinning off and on without provocation. He had Alex to thank for the uptick in his mood, and he knew it.

*** “Yep. I see him right now,” Hunter said. “I promise I’ll ask.” Through the speaker on his cell, Sarah’s voice filled the truck. “Okay, I love you. Jace says hi.” A masculine tone echoed in the background. “And Jasper too,” Sarah added. “Hello right back. I have to go.” Hunter slowed down his speed as he drew closer to Alex. “Bye.” Four days later, Hunter still rode the high of Alex’s smile and salute. His pulse picked up considerably as he pulled up next to Alex, so very close to the man’s sweat-slick skin and near nakedness. Hunter hadn’t cut himself in nearly a week, so he took this buzzing awareness as mostly sexual attraction and very little about emotions near to bursting out of control. He could handle himself now. Shit, he’d even removed the cutting paraphernalia from his glove compartment yesterday. He managed to keep his violence in check by only fingering his pocketknife rather than using it to cut his flesh. Life is definitely getting better. Clearly sensing a vehicle near him, Alex moved deeper into the grass. He looked over his shoulder, then came right back up to the road when Hunter pulled to a stop next to him. Winded, Alex said, “Morning,” in a raspy voice. “Wasn’t sure I’d see you on this road again.” Still sucking air, Alex moved in a modified prowl. When he circled back, he paused at Hunter’s window and made eye contact. “It’s the one time I’m happy to be wrong.” Roughness remained in his tone.

42

Cameron Dane

Motherfucking shit. Hunter opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Apparently overcoming the urge to injure himself didn’t mean Hunter could now wax poetic in Alex’s presence. Say something, damn it, before he leaves. “I was talking to my sister, and she said something about inviting you to dinner. I told her I see you in the morning sometimes and I would mention it, so that’s what I’m doing.” It felt like someone had kicked Hunter in the back of his neck and jarred all the words loose at once. “She said something about sometime next week.” “Oh.” Jutting his chin, Alex looked like he’d taken one on the jaw without flinching. “We’re only passing each other this morning because you’re delivering a message.” He dipped his head and again began wearing a pattern into the small patch of grass. “Got it.” “And because I’m back to my schedule,” Hunter explained, his brow knitting as he studied Alex. The man jerked his head up. “What?” Oh. It hit Hunter like a frying pan in the face, and then made his belly tremble. He thought I was avoiding him. “I was working an extra hour in the morning and the evening to help make up the work of another cowboy who had to go home. He’s back now, so I’m back to my normal start time.” “Oh.” Once again, those cute stripes of pink cut across Alex’s cheekbones. Hunter’s mouth watered to lick that blush away. “Okay, so…” He didn’t dare look another second without hauling this man in through the window and eating his mouth raw. The beginnings of bad things churned in Hunter’s brain—things that mixed aggressive sex and violence. His body too long denied, Hunter began envisioning a rough sexual mating that once started, he wouldn’t be able to stop. Son of a bitch. Hunter ripped his gaze off Alex in case the brutality showed in his eyes. “I have to go,” he murmured, reminding himself it wasn’t in his nature to hurt other people. Even though hunger lived inside him, he could manage it and it would be okay. “Don’t forget to call Sarah. Bye.” “Wait!” Alex grabbed Hunter’s truck, halting him before he started. “Yeah?” Hunter asked, without looking. Alex shifted, and it put his profile in the side mirror. “Will you be at Sarah’s dinner next week?” As Alex asked, Hunter could see him wringing his hands and then rubbing them against his thighs. The nervous tic in Alex pricked deep inside Hunter, overrode all else, and pulled him out of hiding. He looked into green eyes that didn’t waver, but at the same time could still see Alex’s palm rubbing against his leg. The combination of strength and nervousness drew an answer out of Hunter he hadn’t intended to give. “I will,” he said. He touched his fingers to the brim of his Stetson. “Bye again.” As Hunter drove away, his cock pushed against his jeans, painfully reminding him he hadn’t buried himself inside another man in far too long. The image of Alex running remained in Hunter’s rearview mirror, and the ache to get that man under

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

43

him and open for a fucking stayed front and center. Violence and fear did not dominate the hunger in Hunter’s desires this time, though—just healthy, vigorous wanting. Hunter’s heart rate settled, and he even managed a victorious fist bump against his steering wheel. He took another glance at Alex, so fucking sexy, and suddenly couldn’t wait for dinner at his sister’s next week.

44

Cameron Dane

Chapter Three May Alex shifted on the lumpy couch, the cotton sheet beneath his half-naked frame cool against the humidity already setting nasty levels for late spring, even in Georgia where the folks were used to it. After Alex had gone away to college, Mack had slowly converted Alex’s old room to part office and part storage room. Mack had told Alex he would leave the space alone for when Alex visited, but Alex had finally assured Mack that he did not mind sleeping on the couch or the floor when he came home. Alex didn’t see any point in inconveniencing Mack by putting a bed back in there now just because he was home more often than usual. Letting his eyes drift closed, Alex blocked out the light from the streetlamps bleeding into the living room through the sheer curtains on the windows. An occasional shift in the breeze lifted the faded, dusty rose lengths like long scarves floating in the small room. Muted sounds from the rest of the neighborhood streaming in from late parties or getting up to work ungodly shifts for unlivable wages worked to invade Alex’s mind, but he had his hand on his cock and that overrode all distractions. Hunter Tennison filled Alex’s thoughts, as he did most of the time lately. Every time Alex crossed paths with Hunter while in town, or when Hunter slowed down his truck to wave and exchange a murmured “good morning” or “hello” when he passed Alex in the mornings, Alex more easily accepted that he had a case of good old-fashioned lust. Actually it had started out as lust, but somewhere along the way Alex found himself working to hold Hunter’s gaze for more than two seconds or trying to pull more than a few sentences out of the man when they came into contact. Each time he was successful, which was sporadic at best, Alex found himself drawn into Hunter’s quiet nature. Alex began to sense he could actually like this person a lot if given a chance. More and more, when Alex went to sleep, Hunter invaded his dreams. Alex had woken up a few minutes ago with his cock sticking straight up, hard as hell and pearling cum as if he were thirteen years old and fantasizing about the teenage boy across the street. Remnants of his last interaction with Hunter still monopolized Alex’s thoughts. Holy fuck. Alex couldn’t get their little meeting on the side of the road out of his mind. He wasn’t avoiding me. In the darkened living room of his childhood, Alex’s chest constricted as much as it had that morning. It wasn’t so much the few

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

45

words Hunter had said but rather the gruff way he’d said them. Along with that, the way Hunter had looked straight into Alex’s eyes for that split second continued to fill Alex with tentative hope. Those deep brown eyes and almost too-severely angled cheekbones, nose, and stubble-covered jaw filled Alex’s vision where he lay right now, and spurred him to pull on his cock. Alex gasped as sharp lines of shooting pleasure raced from his prick in every direction, tagging his balls and tightening his belly on its way to his nipples. The stroking action simultaneously pulled contractions deep in Alex’s chute and rippled tingling tendrils up his spine. Alex rubbed his shaft and thumbed the thick ridge of his glans, pinching himself, and then groaned as nearly unimaginable joy thickened the dark red head of his dick even more. Satiny slick early ejaculate overflowed from his slit, and Alex opened his eyes to watch himself anoint his fingers with the stuff. Soon Alex had his shaft covered with the sheen of precum. He whipped his hand up and down his length with quicker and fuller drags, the action thrumming wonderful tension throughout his frame. His balls throbbed full and heavy between his legs. Alex shoved his other hand into the mix, squeezing and tugging his sac in a way that sent a silent moan of thank you throughout his being. Sensation after sensation rippled within every nerve ending in Alex’s prick and balls. He writhed against the cotton sheets in an effort to cool his heated skin, and he even clamped both hands around his cock and punched his hips off the couch into the tight squeeze. Still it wasn’t enough to make him come. With his sweats bunched below his hips, Alex watched his hands working over his dick and nuts but knew he wanted nothing so much as to see Hunter Tennison straddling him and riding his cock like he needed the fucking or he would die. Alex was good at envisioning buildings that didn’t yet exist and incorporating them into a skyline that did. If he hadn’t been able to picture those homes on that land in Quinten, just from looking at the property survey for one of them on the Internet, he never would have experienced the impulse to fly to Montana and do the deal himself. He only had to employ that skill to bring Hunter to life. Alex let his eyes slide closed; Hunter’s rough, arresting face immediately appeared. More blood somehow flooded Alex’s cock in response, and he rocked his hips as he started stroking his shaft again. He could only envision Hunter fully clothed, and it struck Alex that he’d never seen the man even in just a T-shirt, let alone bare-chested. Conversely Hunter saw Alex nearly naked on most mornings. The shorts Alex wore during his runs were reminiscent of the shorts the old NBA players used to wear back in the eighties; anything longer clung and bunched against Alex’s legs when he sweat, something he found incredibly uncomfortable and distracting while running. Hunter is probably uncomfortable too. The thought hit Alex in the gut and stilled his hand at the base of his shaft. Alex rubbed his thumb back and forth over his upper thigh but mentally stepped back in time and touched the smooth leather covering the ridge where Hunter’s pinkie and ring finger used to be. Shit. That

46

Cameron Dane

glove went up well past Hunter’s wrist. Even though a shirtsleeve covered it, the leather left enough of an impression that Alex had been able to tell it went halfway up his forearm. I bet he has burns and shrapnel damage from whatever caused him to lose his fingers. Alex figured the scars must go all the way up Hunter’s arm, if not into other areas on the left side of his frame. Probably not full body or he likely would have lost his whole hand, but enough that his clear desire for privacy—and probably a hell of a lot of personal pride—kept him from exposing the damage done to him by war. I’ll have to find a way to get him past his discomfort. At least with me. Alex sensed curiosity in Hunter whenever they were together. Maybe even flat-out attraction. But caution also lived in those eyes. Fear too. Alex didn’t know if Hunter was out and had been with men before or found himself struggling with feelings for another man for the first time, but something was definitely there. For the first time, though, Alex found himself fumbling. He didn’t know how to steer them to something sexual, or if he should, even though every time he got near Hunter, he imagined himself leaning in, taking his lips with an exploring kiss, and igniting hungry passion into those haunted, dark eyes. Fantasies of that kiss pushed Alex to wrap his fingers back around his cock and tug gently on the length, getting the blood flowing again. In Alex’s mind, Hunter stretched himself over Alex’s body and devoured him with strong lips, stealing Alex’s breath. Alex reminded himself of the solid muscles he’d felt beneath Hunter’s clothing. Even though he’d never seen Hunter nude, Alex mentally stripped those clothes away until only a big frame roped in hot, firm flesh grinded itself against him. As their bodies writhed together, Alex furiously worked his cock, desperate to touch as much of the big man on top of him as he could. He ran his other hand over his chest, throat, shoulders, and arms, trying to feel Hunter’s hands everywhere he touched. Alex’s prick pulsed hotter and harder than it ever had, and his testicles pulled so heavy with cum he didn’t dare touch them for fear of exploding on the spot. Fully entrenched in his desires, Alex whispered to Hunter, “Ride me.” Alex swore he could feel Hunter’s fingers digging into his chest as he complied and shifted upright to straddle Alex’s hips. Lust fueled Alex’s state of mind, and the lines between reality and his imagination blurred into one moment suspended in time. In Alex’s head, Hunter looked down at him through a nearly black gaze, poised with his pucker kissing Alex’s prick but denying him any penetration. Moaning, Alex tightened every muscle in his body to keep from knifing up and breeching Hunter’s hole himself. He was so hard his cock actually hurt, though, and there was something of an order in his guttural utterance of, “Give me your ass.” As the shimmery image of Hunter lowering himself onto Alex’s cock filled his mind, Alex squeezed both hands around his penis, starting at the tip. With every inch Hunter lowered himself onto Alex’s lap, he slowly took Alex’s shaft into his tight, hot passage, smothering the rigid pole. In reality Alex squeezed his length in time with Hunter’s descent, not stopping until Hunter had sucked Alex’s prick in all the way to the root. Oh fucking shit, yeah.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

47

Alex milked his dick, groaning as he imagined Hunter’s snug, moist chute rippling all around him with delicious spasms. Within seconds Hunter took complete control. He slid up and down Alex’s shaft with ever-increasing speed, and soon rode the hell out of Alex’s cock with no sign of slowing down. In his mind, Alex watched Hunter’s face pull tauter and tauter, becoming almost inhuman, as he slammed his ass down time and again, impaling himself on Alex with furious drives. He fisted his hands and burrowed his knuckles into Alex’s chest, bracing himself for the punishing plowing he gave himself. Hunter didn’t make a sound, but he gritted his teeth every time he came down and filled his ass with Alex’s prick. In conjunction, Alex clamped a two-fisted, suffocating hold on his erection and tried to keep up with his and Hunter’s twin needs. Alex jerked himself so hard and fast he used up all the lubrication and couldn’t produce more fast enough to keep up with the pace of Hunter’s fucking. Groaning at the loss of letting go of his cock, Alex reluctantly did, spitting onto his palms and then diving right back in again. Oh goddamn motherfucking shit, yeah. Fire burned a sweltering line right through Alex the moment he got two hands back around his prick. Even with the new lubrication, Alex thought the friction might make his dick spontaneously combust. This had started out with the fantasy that he would fuck Hunter, yet what was happening was anything but. Alex might have his dick inside the man’s ass, sawing like a son of a bitch, but Hunter controlled every bit of this mating, no matter that this coupling was Alex’s by design. The deeper Hunter dug his fingers into Alex’s chest and the more aggressively he pounded his weight down on Alex, the faster Alex’s blood raced and the hotter his skin became. Whipping his hands up and down his spike-stiff dick, Alex pummeled his length with a pace that bordered on injuring himself. “Oh yeah, come on. Fuck me.” Looking up at the harsh lines mapping Hunter’s face, Alex started knifing up his hips to meet the man’s every downward thrust. “Fuck my cock.” As Hunter complied, the fucking became rougher and rougher, nearing violence. Suddenly Hunter staggered to a halt, his desire-filled, unblinking stare locked on Alex. Alex…Alex… The shocking, rusty cadence of Hunter’s tone worked a shudder right through Alex. A catch in his voice, Hunter whispered, I’m gonna come. Alex didn’t even get out do it. He surged up, squeezing the life out of his dick, his middle off the couch in an arcing bow. Jets of scorching cum hit Alex’s stomach and chest in continuous lines, making him moan low in his throat as he imagined it was Hunter coming all over him. Alex milked his shaft the whole way through. In his fantasy, he still had his cock buried deep inside Hunter, surrounded by the wonderful contractions. He imagined he spilled his seed within the tight confines of the man’s amazing ass too. Seconds stretched into minutes where Alex didn’t open his eyes or move to clean himself. His breathing took its time returning to normal. As it did, Alex tried to maintain the sensation of Hunter on top of him, of feeling the man’s weight

48

Cameron Dane

pressing into him, of both of them moving together like waves in a waterbed, content to lay entwined in silence just listening to the beats of each other’s hearts. The vision slipped away all too fast, and soon Alex opened his eyes to the sheen of ejaculate drying on his torso. Fatigue still held a firm grasp on his muscles, proof of how vigorously he’d physically participated in his waking dream. Grabbing a glass of tepid water from the table, Alex dipped the edge of his sheet into the liquid to dampen it, and then proceeded to wipe away the evidence of his activities. He’d jerked himself off so aggressively there was a better than average chance he wouldn’t even want to hold his cock to take a piss for at least a day. The squeak of hardwood floors captured Alex’s attention. A moment later Mack wheeled himself into the living room. “For God’s sake, boy”—he shot an impatient glance at Alex’s lap—“put it back in your pants.” As Alex carefully adjusted his sweats back up to his waist, Mack pushed his wheelchair right up to the couch next to where Alex laid his head. Dark whiskers poked out from Mack’s unnaturally pale skin, but Alex focused on the sharpness still in his pale blue eyes. “And the next time you want to yank your wiener in my house, go into the bathroom and shut the door.” Mack backed up, making the turn around the narrow coffee table, but stopped at Alex’s feet and glared at him again. “I had to wait twenty damn minutes for you to finish before I could come get a snack.” “Twenty minutes?” Alex stacked his hands behind his head, grinning from ear to ear. “Damn, I had some stamina.” “Don’t be a wiseass,” Mack said as he got himself moving again. “It’s better than being a dumb-ass,” Alex called out to the back of Mack’s saltand-pepper head. As Mack wheeled into the kitchen, he paused for the barest second to give Alex the finger. Alex chuckled, but the second Mack was out of sight, the smile Alex wore fell to a quick death. Every time Alex saw Mack again, even after a small separation of sleeping, a crushing wave of love hit him harder than a speeding bus, only to be quickly followed by a phantom sickness that felt like it was eating away at his belly. The impending loss and Alex’s absolute inability to alter the outcome of Mack’s various ailments rushed too many memories of this man at Alex at once, fighting to stamp imprints in his soul so he would never forget them. One day in particular changed both their lives forever.

*** On his tiptoes, Alex leaned over the bathroom sink for a scrutinizing close-up of his reflection in the mirror. His teeth were clean, and he’d gotten the crusty sleep out of his eyes. He only had a few small zits on his jaw, but he’d already put some stuff on them to dry them out. Using some of his mom’s mousse, he tamped down a hunk of hair at the crown of his head that didn’t want to stay flat. He had to look good. He had a very important competition today. If he won Brain Blasters, it could

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

49

change his life. His teacher had told him, “When you look your best, you’ll do your best.” Alex didn’t know anyone smarter than his teacher, who was also his school’s Brain Blasters coach, and Alex had taken his words to look his best to heart. After pressing down the rest of his newly shorn hair, Alex straightened his striped tie and his jacket collar, the coat only a little loose on his skinny frame. At least he wasn’t a pip-squeak, so the sleeves didn’t hang all the way over his hands like he was a kid playing dress-up. He’d bought what he could find at the thrift store and made do. Satisfied he looked like a winner, Alex exited the bathroom and traipsed to the kitchen, his thoughts already racing ahead to this afternoon. At the arch to the kitchen, Alex skidded to a halt, his heart plummeting. It’s just Mack. Again. A year later, it still stung Alex to know his mother had moved Mack into their home without ever asking Alex or even introducing them first. This guy who’d intruded into Alex’s world 377 days ago never said much, but he was always around, half the time while Alex’s mom was surely out flirting with other men. Alex had seen her do it a thousand times. He was thirteen years old now and the smartest kid in his class, maybe the whole school, so he understood his mother’s many weaknesses. Alex figured his mom tried but just wasn’t very good at being someone’s mother. She wasn’t very responsible, period. Alex thought moving Mack Ross into their home after having only known him for one day provided good evidence of this belief. Alex pretty much knew he wasn’t gonna like this Mack guy from the get-go. After all, there was hardly enough for him and his mom to get by every week, so they damn sure didn’t need another person splitting into thirds the food, water— heck, the gosh darn air they breathed. But Mack had moved in anyway, despite Alex’s attempt to logically explain to his mother why it shouldn’t happen. Then, when it happened anyway, the dude didn’t even talk that much. Alex had once kept track and counted that Mack said thirty-five words to him in one whole week. Alex figured that was a typical week, so after a year spent together, Alex calculated Mack hadn’t even used 2000 words in twelve months. At least not with him. Alex didn’t hear many more murmurings going on between his mom and Mack either. Nope. The man wasn’t a talker. Mack had a job—Alex didn’t know what it was because he never talked about it at home. He worked during the hours Alex went to school. Most of the rest of the time, Mack was at the house, always there. Late at night, when it was dark, Alex could quietly admit to himself it was kind of nice to have another person with him all the time. Before Mack, Alex had gotten used to being alone a lot. If only Mack didn’t intimidate Alex so much. It wasn’t the wheelchair that made Alex nervous, at least not entirely, or even that during the Gulf War Mack had lost both legs at the knees. Alex was more curious about that than scared. He wanted to ask questions about Mack’s military service and about how he had lost his legs, and even if he would let Alex touch where they’d been amputated to see how the scars felt. Alex had never met anyone who’d lost limbs before, and his

50

Cameron Dane

natural tendency to ask a million questions popped around inside him like jumping beans needing freedom. But then Alex would look into Mack’s piercing, cold eyes. The man’s stare made Alex think he would snap the neck of anyone who challenged him, and the questions Alex wanted to ask would die on his lips. Mack might not have half his legs anymore, but what body he did still have was full of thick muscles. Alex didn’t doubt Mack had the skills, training, and ability to do some serious damage if he were so inclined. Alex didn’t want to get him mad and test his theory. Right then Mack’s rough voice pulled Alex out of his musings. “Breakfast isn’t coming to you.” Alex hated the flush that filled his face—and the fact that Mack’s few words automatically got him moving. “Right.” After getting the milk out of the fridge and the cereal off the counter, Alex pulled out the chair next to Mack and slid a glance at the raven-haired man. “Morning,” he mumbled, chewing on his lip. Ice blue eyes met Alex’s over the brim of a mug. Hard lips barely moved as Mack said, “Morning,” in return. The man went back to his juice and the crossword puzzle that he did with a freaking pen. Yeah. Alex dropped his gaze to his breakfast, his joy suddenly stalled at the starting gate. That’s about right. Alex poured milk over his frosted flakes and went about eating in silence. Next to him, Mack kept his pen steadily moving, filling in letters in boxes and completely ignoring Alex. Nerves made Alex swallow down his food without really tasting the sugary sweetness coating his cornflakes. After slurping up the last of his milk from the bowl, which earned him a quick sideways glance from Mack, Alex took his bowl to the sink to rinse it out. As he got his lunch out of the fridge, he chanced another look at Mack, watching as the man wheeled his glass and plate to the sink. Alex knew better than to ask if Mack wanted help. By the time Alex had bagged his sandwich, chips, and banana, he and Mack found themselves side by side on their way out of the kitchen. “Where’s my mom?” Alex wondered. “Sleeping.” Mack practically grunted his answer. Alex didn’t feel stupid for asking. His mother could easily already be out grabbing a pack of cigarettes or buying lottery tickets this early in the morning. He hadn’t seen her last evening, so if she’d found a new job, she might even have been working. “Okay.” After stuffing his lunch in his backpack, Alex tore his attention off Mack struggling to get his wheelchair over the lip between the front door and the porch. Mack didn’t like assistance, and Alex couldn’t bear to watch without feeling his legs fighting him to run and help. Alex jerked his thumb toward the hallway, backing away and saying, “I guess I’ll go talk to my mom. Bye.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

51

Just before Alex disappeared down the short hall, Mack’s deep, low voice cut across the living room like a whip. “Alexander.” Alex’s spine immediately went straight and stiff. “Yes, sir?” On the porch now, Mack had his hands wrapped around the wheels of his chair, and his attention entirely on Alex. “How important is winning that quiz to you today?” What the heck? Alex hadn’t thought Mack ever even listened when he rambled to his mom about school stuff. The dude certainly never looked at him or asked questions. But he really looks like he wants to know about my competition right now. His heart suddenly beating kinda funnylike, Alex scuffed his shiny dress shoes against the floor and met Mack’s gaze. “If I can win against the kids in other schools in the district today, then I can go to the state championship round where I can win scholarship money if I beat everyone else.” “So it’s real important to you,” Mack said, his voice deep and low. Shuffling some more, Alex added chewing the inside of his cheek to his fidgeting. “Yeah.” With a sharp nod, Mack wheeled a bit closer to the open door. “When you’re competing to be the best,” Mack shared, his entire demeanor so very serious, “you have to think of your opponents as the enemy. Crushing all of them means you’re the last one standing. Those other kids can be your friends in real life, but when you’re competing against them and answering questions, you must remember their goals are not your goals. If getting help to go to college is the most important thing to you, then you can’t think about the dreams of your opponents or you will crack. One of them will then slip through the fissure, and you won’t get what is most important to you. This is a hard thing to hear at your age and something most adults won’t tell a kid, but it’s the truth. Focus on your goal and your goal only, and you will succeed.” Although ice still chipped Mack’s gaze, new sparks of fiery blue held Alex rapt. “Do you understand?” Dryness turned Alex’s tongue to cotton, in the same way that happened when ninth-grade Jimmy across the street waved at Alex sometimes if they left for school at the same time. Alex cleared his throat and tried to get more saliva in his mouth. “I understand,” Alex said, forcefully sticking his chin up high. “Thank you, sir.” He then went and ruined his bravado by tripping over his too-big shoes when he stepped backward. Grabbing the wall, heat flooding his skin, Alex just managed to keep from falling flat on his ass. “I have to go remind my mom about Brain Blasters now, or I’m gonna be late for my bus. Bye!” Alex tore around the hallway and into his mother’s room, his shout dying on his lips as he saw her snuggled under the covers still fast asleep. A quick scan of the room showed no pile of jewelry on the dresser and no heap of clothes on the floor next to the nightstand, which told Alex his mom had come home, crashed fully dressed, and at some point Mack had gotten her out of her clothes. Otherwise the room wouldn’t be so tidy. Alex’s mom tended to leave little bundles of messes in her wake that she would then circle around and clean sometime over the next few days.

52

Cameron Dane

Right now Alex took a breath and sent up a little prayer that his mom wasn’t hungover. With a few steps, Alex reached the bed and then climbed up to kneel next to his mother. “Mom?” He nudged her pink satin-covered shoulder. “Mom? Can you wake up?” He poked her again. “I need to remind you about something.” Alice stretched and rolled onto her back, raising her arms over her head in such a way that it pushed her mussed bob of blonde hair away from her face. Blinking a handful of times, Alice finally focused her forest-colored stare on her son. “Hey, sweetheart.” She caressed his cheek, and Alex couldn’t help smiling at his pretty mother. “You look especially handsome today.” “It’s because of the Brain Blasters competition,” Alex said, bouncing on his knees. “It’s today. Do you remember I told you about it last week? It’s in the afternoon, right after lunch break, in the school gym.” With one more hop, Alex jumped off the bed. “You’re gonna come. Right?” “Of course I’ll be there.” As Alice yawned and raised her arms in the air, she pushed to sit up against the headboard. “I wouldn’t miss my baby’s chance to show off his brains and win a prize.” “Good. Okay. It’s at one o’clock.” After sliding his backpack off his arm, Alex dug into the bag’s outer pocket and came up with a flyer. “You can come find me right when you get there because it’s just gonna be parents and grandparents and people related to the kids competing.” He handed his mom a paper with the necessary information even though he’d posted one on the refrigerator a week ago. “The whole school isn’t gonna be there to watch or anything.” Alice kept hold of Alex’s hand. “All right, baby.” She tugged him in and pecked a kiss to his cheek. “You do good for yourself. Okay?” With a quick kiss to his mom’s cheek in return, Alex then swooped down, grabbed his bag again, and skipped backward to the door. “Don’t forget.” Rising right back up from her slouch to a sitting position, Alice said, “I’m getting up right now. Mack is gone? The bathroom is free?” “Yep and yep,” Alex replied cheekily. Alice jumped out of bed with almost as much energy as Alex. “Then I’m going in to take a shower right now.” On the way, Alice paused for a second at her dresser mirror to lean in and study her reflection, shrug, and then keep on toward the hallway. “Get going, honey”—she swatted him gently on the tush—“or you’re going to miss your bus.” “Right.” In a little mirror etched with Dolly Parton’s likeness that hung in their living room, Alex checked his hair and tie one more time. Everything still looked in place. “Bye, Mom!” As Alex ran for his bus stop, one thought played over and over in his brain: I’m so totally going to win this thing today.

***

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

53

Alex climbed three rows up on the bleachers in the gym and stood on the seat to search over the heads of the milling adults for familiar blonde hair. Come on, come on, come on. The timer on the scoreboard over the basketball hoop ticked ominously lower in big red numbers. It would soon reach five minutes, signaling to Alex and the other Brain Blasters kids to take their seats on the stage. Where are you, Mom? Hurry up. The clock counted down to fifteen minutes and then fourteen. Suddenly Alex’s hands itched to cover his ears and block out all the happy, laughing moms, dads, grandparents, and even aunts and uncles of all the other kids in the competition. Deep down a part of Alex wanted to punch his classmate Zack, who probably had like twenty people here to root for him. Ten minutes ago Alex had smiled, enthusiastically shaken hands, and then taken noogies on the head from many of them, all the while promising he would bring his mom over to meet them as soon as she arrived. Now Alex couldn’t even look at Zack or the big group surrounding him without his throat closing up on him and his eyes feeling like he had to keep blinking or he might start crying like a big baby in front of everyone. As the truth finally sank in—she’s not coming, again—Alex folded onto the bleacher seat and dropped his gaze to the empty row below him, his mood sinking faster than a hot air balloon with a hole shot in it. He should have known better than to count on his mom by now, but she always surprised him just enough to give Alex hope she would show up to events that were important to him. But not today. Alex blinked, and a drop of wetness fell, hitting his tan slacks. Shoot. Swiping the next tear away with vicious intent, getting to it before it could fall, Alex ached to scream but silently ordered himself to get control before the competition started without him. Just then a big, strong hand and arm working the frame surrounding a wheel entered Alex’s line of sight. Alex whipped his head up just as Mack said, “I sure hope that’s the warrior’s silence of a man centering his focus for the impending fight, and not self-pity or nerves getting the better of you.” Alex shot upright. “Yes, sir,” he said, even as he searched for his mom. Surely they had come together. Alex hopped down to the bottom row of bleachers, his heart near to exploding now. “I’m getting ready for the battle.” “Good.” Nodding curtly, Mack rolled his chair to face Alex head-on and looked him right in the eyes. “Center yourself; concentrate on your answers and not on your opponents’ scores. Compete against your own best win. Make it about setting yourself a new standard to achieve, and you will win.” “I remember, sir.” Terrible thickness still nearly choking him, Alex slumped and studied the floor. “My mom isn’t coming. That’s why you’re here.” Mack reached out and drew Alex out of hiding with rough knuckles touching under his chin. “One of your mother’s friends had an emergency and needed help.” Shocking, gruff softness enveloped Mack’s voice. “Alice had to go to her. Okay? She called me to come let you know because she didn’t want you waiting or worrying about her.”

54

Cameron Dane

“That’s not true.” The words left Alex’s mouth—his gut, really—in a cutting tone. Mack didn’t so much as blink. “Don’t ever call me a liar.” His very stillness riveted Alex. “Are we clear on that?” “Yes, sir,” Alex automatically replied, even though he noticed Mack hadn’t denied Alex’s statement. Alex’s mom had taught him manners, though, even if she didn’t always follow the ones about courtesy and keeping one’s word herself, so Alex didn’t challenge how Mack had worded his comment. Dipping his head, Alex offered Mack a real smile. “Thank you for coming to tell me.” Wheeling himself in a tight circle, Mack scanned the cavernous gym. “Since I’m on my lunch break, I think I’ll stay and watch the competition for a while, if that’s okay with you.” His tone slipped to casual, but Alex sensed—or maybe hoped—Mack cared about Alex’s response. Alex jumped off the bleachers to the floor, his shoes screeching against the surface with his sliding landing. “Yes, sir.” He skidded to a stop just shy of crashing into Mack’s chair. “Really?” For the first time ever, Alex curled his hands around the arm of Mack’s wheelchair. “You’ll stay?” Giving Alex a nearly imperceptible nod, Mack said, “For a while.” “Thank you!” Unable to contain his actions, Alex threw his arms around Mack from the side and pressed his cheek into the man’s hair. “Thank you.” “All right now.” Gruffer than ever, Mack withdrew but patted Alex on the arm. “Don’t get mushy on me.” Stiffening immediately, Alex locked his arms and legs in a military stance. “Sorry, sir.” Mack wheeled in reverse, putting some space between them. “I think it’s time for you to go take your place. Looks like someone is trying to get your attention.” He pointed, and Alex followed the line of his finger. “Oh. That’s my friend Zack.” Alex waved at the burly redhead beckoning him. “I’ll introduce you after the competition.” Wait. He said only for a little while. Alex shifted from foot to foot with each faster beat in his chest. “If you’re still here, I mean.” “We’ll see,” Mack murmured. When he added, “Go win first,” Alex’s heart went from skittering to soaring. He’s totally gonna stay for the whole thing. He just doesn’t want to say. Alex only said, “Okay!” and ran to his friend and to the stage. He had no doubt in his mind now. He would win this thing. I’ll win it for Mack. Alex wouldn’t make that guy regret coming to see him today for anything.

*** The shatter of glass jerked Alex back into the present and upright in a shot. A slew of foul words coming from the kitchen had him grabbing his wire-framed glasses off the coffee table, his T-shirt off the back of the couch, and donning both as

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

55

he strode toward the cursing. Moving at a rapid pace into the kitchen, Alex just managed to pull up short of stepping into grape jelly and its broken jar. Meanwhile Mack wrestled with a mop, broom, and dustpan with a long handle, trying to get them out of the wedge between the wall and fridge where he stored them when not in use. Goddamn it. The burn of a few choice sentences flamed in Alex’s throat, but he choked them down. He’d asked, begged, negotiated, and even tried to outright bribe Mack to let him equip this kitchen—hell, the whole house—with wheelchair accessible amenities, but the stubborn goat wouldn’t hear of it. Shit, Alex would have rather put the man in a whole new house, but Mack had refused that too. Looking back on his college days, Alex now considered it a miracle Mack had said yes to Alex installing ramps at the front and back doors, as well as safety bars in the bathtub. Mack hadn’t given a green light to a damn thing since then. Alex circled the table and came up behind Mack. “Let me get that for you.” Leaning over Mack’s chair, Alex grabbed the top of the mop handle. “I’ll take care of the mess.” “I’ve got it.” Glaring, somehow entrenching himself even more solidly into his chair, Mack yanked on the lower half of the mop handle. “I made the mess, and I’ll clean it.” He pulled again, creating a tug of war between them. “Let it go, Alex,” he said through clenched teeth. Alex dug into his position, grimacing when the wooden mop handle started slipping through his grip and the slow friction burned his hands. “Mack. Stop it.” “No, you stop.” With one punishing yank, Mack ripped the mop out of Alex’s hands. “I can do it.” A ferocious growl erupted from Alex’s gut. “Will you goddamn let me help you just once, old man! It’s fucking jelly on the floor. You are not throwing in the towel by letting me clean it for you.” His chest heaving, battling his emotions, Alex felt tight all over with every breath of air he sucked in. Snarling right back, Mack threw all the cleaning supplies onto the floor. “Do whatever the hell you want”—with one turn of his wheels, he cleared the area—“but you’re not even wearing shoes.” From his position now at the head of the table, he glared down at Alex’s bare feet. “Don’t think I’m going to sew up your feet when you fucking cut them all up on the glass.” Even as Alex crossed the clean side of the kitchen to get his sneakers from where he’d kicked them off by the couch, he called out, “You know you would too clean me up.” “Don’t get sappy, boy,” Mack snapped back, making Alex grin as he toed into his running shoes. Returning to the kitchen, Alex said, “I’ll get as mushy as I want.” He settled his focus on Mack’s inscrutable features, and the most tender, seldom examined places inside him naturally blossomed with sweet, welcomed pain. “You don’t scare me anymore, old man.”

56

Cameron Dane

Mack snorted and made the sign of the cross. “Then it’s probably time to go ahead and buy the farm for good.” All the warmth inside Alex flooded out of him. He froze in place on his knees, a roll of paper towels in his hands. “Don’t even talk like that. I don’t want to hear you being flip about death.” Alex didn’t know how in the hell he did it, but he managed to hold Mack’s stare and successfully keep tears at bay. Huskiness crept into his voice, though, as he added, “Not around me.” “Then how about this?” Mack crossed his still-formidable arms against his barrel chest and homed in on Alex with laser precision. “I want you to go see your mother.” Every hair on Alex’s body lifted in alert. “No.” He grabbed the dustpan and busied himself with gathering broken glass and clumps of jelly. “It’s not going to happen.” “She’s making genuine progress this time, Alex.” The very softness in Mack’s tone almost gave Alex pause. “I don’t know if it’s the shrink she has or just hitting the wall one time too many, but she’s getting better.” Alex finished scooping up what he could and then grabbed the bucket on his way to the back door. “I’m happy for her.” Using the outdoor spigot on the back of the house, Alex filled the bucket and hauled it back inside. With one satisfying dunk into the water and slap of the mop onto the floor, Alex glanced at Mack as he began washing the floor. “It doesn’t mean I have to see her.” “She hasn’t gambled in any way, shape, or form for six months.” Alex grunted with the next swipe across the floor. He shot Mack a sideways look. “That’s because she’s in a corrections facility.” “Goddamn, boy.” Mack slapped the table with a resounding crack. “Do you think your mama couldn’t find ways to gamble in that place if she wanted to? Let me tell you something: you can barter a lot more things than money and cigarettes in prison. If her itch was so strong she couldn’t control it, she’d be making bets inside on what piece of food her cellmate picks up first from her tray during lunch. But she doesn’t. Alice now understands she has an addiction. She also understands winning the lottery or scoring a good night at poker won’t make her life perfect and problem free.” Mack grabbed Alex’s arm as Alex pushed the mop under the table. He forced Alex to look at him. “Your mother is making real progress and will be a different woman when she gets out this time.” Sweet images and memories of his pretty mother punched at Alex inside, fighting for freedom, but the gaping hole within from too many nights alone and too many academic ceremonies missed sucked down those pictures before they could get free. “I’m sorry,” Alex murmured. “It’s too little too late for me.” “Don’t say that.” Mack kept a crushing grip on Alex’s forearm. “If Alice truly believed you’d given up on her, it would break her heart.” Looking as harsh and

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

57

untouchable as ever, Mack locked into eye contact with Alex. “It would break mine too.” The truth suddenly swept over Alex with the speed and power of gale-force winds. Holy hell. “You never stopped loving my mom.” He didn’t even have to ask for confirmation. Alex could suddenly see the reasoning behind Mack stubbornly choosing to remain in this home and leaving it virtually untouched over the many years. “You still love her, all these years later.” The glitter of blue diamonds warmed the usual pale ice in Mack’s eyes. “I do.” Gobsmacked, Alex leaned on the mop handle, stuttered to stillness. “Even with everything she did to you?” Christ, during a lot of his teen years, not to mention plenty of times after Alex had left home for college and adulthood, Alice had disappeared from this house for weeks, even months on end, with nary a word. In a town the size of theirs, Alex knew—and Mack certainly had to too—Alice had temporarily lived with other men. “I don’t understand how you can let all that crap go.” “She never did those things to me,” Mack said, no anger in his voice or eyes. “She did them to herself.” With every memory of going into his mom’s room and finding her gone, fiery heat bubbled anew in Alex’s belly. On top of the personal cut of Alice’s choices, Alex could see himself standing in the kitchen as a teenager, bragging to Mack about his accomplishments as much as he could with the hopes that it would take away some of the hardness in Mack’s face. Hardness he knew his mother’s infidelity had put there. Alex’s mouth pulled down with ugly lines right now. “In the process of her destruction, she hurt you repeatedly. I don’t get how you can let it all go, just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “Listen to me”—Mack blocked Alex when he made the move to continue mopping—“because this is important. I have this hole in my gut because I held on to anger at your mother for too long.” Mack backed up but didn’t break eye contact with Alex. “I gave up the judgment two years ago and have spent time with Alice ever since.” Alex’s lips parted, and he had to push his mouth closed. “Like time, time you mean?” “Yes.” “Wow.” Alex couldn’t process that level of forgiveness. Mack had sure as hell never given him a clue he’d started up a sexual relationship with Alice again. Maybe if you’d been around more, you might have noticed. Alex swallowed down the guilt, shook his head, and went back to mopping. “I’ll freely admit it, Mack. You’re a bigger man than me.” “I think you want to be big too,” Mack said, his voice rough but somehow soft too, “but your intellect is holding you back.”

58

Cameron Dane

With a look back at Mack, Alex’s brow pulled. “I think you just insulted yourself with that comment.” “No, I didn’t.” Mack sighed. “But I guess you’ll understand what I mean when you’re ready.” He wheeled his chair over the drying floor Alex had mopped, moving to the small pantry. “I have hope for you yet.” Now Alex bit back a grin. “I think you just got sappy and mushy on me all rolled into one.” Mack shot Alex his favorite one-finger salute. “Fuck you.” With a fresh jar of jelly, and a tub of margarine and small container of orange juice from the fridge now in his lap, Mack wheeled his treasures to the table. Alex’s bark of laughter bounced against the walls and filled the too-bright kitchen. “Fuck you back.” His chest tightened acutely, though, constricting his windpipe terribly. In a way he couldn’t ignore. “Now make me some breakfast already,” he said as he moved in behind Mack’s chair. “It’ll be sunrise in, like, two hours, and the rest of the idiots in the world are wasting time sleeping.” Alex kidded, but at the same time, he dipped down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Mack’s head. He held there, pressure building behind his eyes, but only said, “Hop to it.” It took a few seconds, but Mack eventually rolled away, muttering, “Punk-ass little bitch,” as he did. Alex called out, “Old man,” in reply. Mack grunted, and Alex smiled behind his back. In their special way, they’d just said I love you. For the moment, all was right with the world.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

59

Chapter Four June Sunlight beat down on Hunter’s shoulders and arms, making him perspire under his long-sleeved shirt. Sweat trickled down his neck into his collar, tickling his skin. He tried to tilt his head and rub his shoulder against the tingling area, but the need to scratch only grew. Elbow-deep in suds, Hunter glanced around, squinting through the light casting the open barn into shadows. The horse in front of Hunter—in the midst of her bath—nickered lightly and bumped him on the shoulder. “I haven’t forgotten about you, girl,” Hunter cooed to the speckled mare. Another bead of sweat tickled as it fell under his collar and veered down his shoulder blade. “Corey?” He spotted the skinny kid backing out of one of the stalls, broom and shovel in hand. “Can you give me a scratch”—Hunter twitched again— “right there under my left ear and down to my upper back?” Corey jogged over, bit off his glove, and scratched slender fingers with nails bitten down to the nub over Hunter’s skin and across his upper back over his shirt. Relief washed over Hunter’s nerve endings, dragging a euphoric little moan out of him. “Ahh, yeah. That’s good.” He nodded as Corey gave him a good thump on the back. “Thanks.” “No problem.” Backing into the barn again, Corey grabbed up the broom and shovel. “But you could just use the brush to clean the horses, and then your hands wouldn’t be covered in an inch of soap.” “I obviously do use it,” Hunter said, eying the round brush attached to a pole, which had a hose attached to it, “but I like to let them feel my hands scrubbing them too. I worked for a rancher when I was a kid, and he told me if you give your horse enough love and attention and you treat it like kin, then it’ll one day more than likely save your life.” Corey glanced up and out, and Hunter followed his stare to the line of mountains within riding distance—some of the range part of Hawkins Ranch land. “If you get lost in these mountains,” Corey murmured, “particularly in the winter, I could see that.” “Yep.” Nodding, Hunter dipped down and grabbed the hose, taking a minute to change out the attachment. “I’m about to rinse off Fantasma,” he called to Corey’s

60

Cameron Dane

retreating form. “Can you hold off cleaning the next stall for a sec and pat her down when I’m finished so I can get started on Hit Man?” “Sure.” Corey returned and stood in front of Fantasma, talking to the animal in soft tones while Hunter hosed her down, rubbing the horse along the way. After Hunter finished, Corey stepped in and began sluicing off the excess water with a large swatch of absorbent fabric, and Hunter walked Hit Man out of the corral and hooked him into place for his bath. Hunter and Corey worked in silence, as they had done on the other dozen occasions the boss had paired them together. When they traded off horses again, Corey cleared his throat but then dipped his head. It took another few minutes, but he finally said, “You’re the only one who doesn’t look twice or even stare, and who doesn’t look like he wants to ask me to take off my clothes and prove what’s real or fake, you know?” “It’s not my business,” Hunter replied. Hunter didn’t have to ask for clarification. Corey lived as a man but had clearly been born female. From his smooth skin, slender shoulders, tenor in his voice, and slightly flared hips, Hunter guessed the boy was not only pre-op but also had not begun a testosterone regimen. He must tuck a sock or dildo, or perhaps wore some manner of strap-on, to give himself an appropriate male bulge. A slight barreling feel to his chest indicated Corey bound his breasts every day too. Hunter had absorbed all this information on his first meeting with the young man, but the nineteen-year-old, who’d only worked on Hawkins Ranch for a month longer than Hunter, had proven himself so knowledgeable about the land, stock, and Hawkins empire itself Hunter had focused on little else since. Corey began to rub down Hit Man and bring his coat to a glossy black shine. “I guess with your military service in the wars, people probably ask you tons of questions you probably don’t think it’s their business to know either. You understand.” His voice dropped to almost a whisper, but Hunter heard him. “I appreciate it. I just wanted to say that.” “I let people tell me what they want to tell me in their own time,” Hunter replied. Except you didn’t behave that way with Alex. Hunter stopped short on his own hypocrisy. During their conversation in the parking lot, he’d invaded Alex’s privacy and space more than once. Don’t forget you took more than an eyeful of his nakedness from through his trailer window too. Not only had Hunter looked, but his interest had grown from there. They’d already shared one dinner at Sarah’s house— even if Hunter had ducked out early when the craving to cut himself had slammed through him. They had another dinner at Sarah’s scheduled in a few days. Hunter wanted to see more, to touch, to fuck, to lay with the man for God’s sake, to ask questions, and to have Alex answer them freely. All without having to give anything up on my end. Hunter suddenly envisioned scenario after scenario of Alex blocking him into a corner and relentlessly asking him question after question and not releasing Hunter until Hunter had sliced himself open and let Alex see all the ugliness inside.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

61

Hunter’s heartbeat accelerated, and the new sweat pouring down his spine had nothing to do with the afternoon heat. Be cool, Tenny. Be cool. Everything started to spin around Hunter much too fast, dizzying him. Remember what you read on the Internet. Use your logic. Hunter rubbed at his knife through his jeans, and with each touch could picture the blade digging into his flesh and producing clean lines of crimson. No. Talk yourself down from the destruction. Don’t let it beat you. He rubbed his jeans so hard the fabric burned his fingertips. At the same time, he zoned his focus in on the horse in front of him, watched her steady breathing, and found himself synchronizing his breaths with hers. After what felt like forever but in reality probably consisted of a few minutes, the tension drained from Hunter’s frame. Everything that had gone into hyperspeed inside him started returning to normal. See? You can do this, Tenny. You have enough willpower to overcome. Right then a hand curled over Hunter’s shoulder, and the surprise contact slammed him right back into a uniform overseas. Hunter grabbed the wrist attached to that hand, bent the entire arm back as he spun, and then jammed the person into the corral fencing. As he jabbed his forearm under his assailant’s neck, the perpetrator cuffed his hand around Hunter’s throat, holding Hunter prisoner too. Hunter started to press with his forearm, automatically strangling the enemy, but suddenly blinked and saw reality instead of living in a flashback. The blur of adrenaline faded, and Hunter realized he had hold of an enormous man with strands of silver in his dark hair. “I said your name, Hunter,” Connor Hawkins—Hunter’s fucking boss—said, “but you didn’t hear me.” The hard line of Connor’s mouth and the glint in his nearly black stare softened, even though he still held Hunter by the neck. “How about we both release at the same time? Sound fair?” Hunter immediately lifted his arms, felt Connor release him too, and Hunter backed away. “I apologize, sir.” Hunter scanned the area and found Corey stopped dead center in the barn door, concern clear in his blue gaze. He had Hit Man’s lead in hand, obviously on his way to putting the freshly cleaned horse back in his stall. Swallowing, trying to dissipate the tightness in his throat, Hunter came back to Conner and locked his hands behind his back in a military stance. “It is no excuse for attacking you, but I didn’t hear you approach.” “It’s all right,” Connor replied, knowledge in his eyes. “And Connor is fine. Or even Mr. Hawkins, if you feel the need for some formality.” Hunter dipped his head. “Of course, Mr. Hawkins.” “Can I talk to you before you get started on Gypsy’s bath?” “Of course.” This time Connor lifted his arm behind Hunter to guide him toward the barn rather than touch him. As they passed Corey closing the bolt on Hit Man’s stall, Connor came to a stop. “Good to see you, Corey.” He shook the young man’s hand. “Hank told me you’d talked to him about working on a buffalo ranch and that you had some interesting ideas for our new herd.”

62

Cameron Dane

Twin blooms of pink dusted Corey’s skin. “You run a top-notch organization, Mr. Hawkins, but yes, I did share some thoughts with Mr. Bailey.” Hunter noticed the boss bite back a smile. “Let me get with my brothers first, and we’ll schedule a meeting with you to talk. Okay?” “Thank you, Mr. Hawkins!” Corey grabbed up the giant man’s hand and pumped it with vigor. “I mean”—he stepped back just as fast and locked his hands in front of him—“thank you. I appreciate it.” Connor cuffed the kid on the shoulder. “Never be too shy to speak up with a thought if you really believe in it. Plus, I’ll share a little secret.” The man put his hand next to his mouth and fake whispered. “If you tell it to Hank, that old coot is gonna blab it to me or my wife or Caleb or Jake anyway.” He mentioned one of his brother’s and the man’s partner. Corey went even redder. “I’ll remember that.” “Hunter.” Connor snapped his fingers, moving again already. “Follow me.” Hunter took big strides to catch up to his boss. “Yes, sir.” Wincing, he glanced at Connor. “I apologize. It’s the years of service drilled into me.” “If it works for you, I can forgive it.” Connor exited the other end of the massive barn and began a stroll toward the main house. “I wanted to talk to you about your job.” “Sir?” Hunter’s heart seized, but he just managed to keep walking without stumbling. “Have I done something wrong?” “Absolutely not,” Connor responded quickly. “You work hard and step up when needed. I expected no less.” When Connor reached the main house, he took to pacing in front of the porch steps. “But I’ve noticed you seem to enjoy your days more when I assign you to a task that involves the horses.” Connor made eye contact, pausing in front of Hunter. “Is that a fair assessment?” “I do like to spend time around them. Even doing the menial stuff.” Drifting back through the day he’d had so far—barring the minor freak-out on Connor— Hunter settled inside like a leaf floating on a pond. “Some people are scared of their size, but I find them to be a calming animal.” “My brother Cain does too.” Connor homed in on Hunter, and his wide stance made him appear even larger. “I’d like you to consider interviewing with him and Luke about a job on their property with their horse rehabilitation program.” Holy hell. Hunter had never been to Cain and Luke’s stretch of land, but he’d heard plenty about the couple and their top-flight organization. “Are they looking for someone?” he asked, mentally holding his breath. “I’d rather not be thrust upon them like some charity case.” Connor chuckled, and the rumble filled the air around them. “They love their horses too much to bring on someone out of charity who isn’t a good fit for their organization. You have to pass the Cain and Luke sniff test first, and trust me”—he arched a thick brow in a menacing manner—“it’s even tougher than mine is.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

63

Hunter let himself exhale internally. “That makes me feel better. If they’re open to considering me, I think I’d like that.” “Okay then. I’ll give Cain a call and tell him you’ll be over there after you finish your day here. If it doesn’t work out—and I have no reason to think it won’t— you’re welcome to keep your job here on the main property with us.” “Thank you, sir.” Since Hunter knew Conner wouldn’t touch him again without prompting, Hunter held out his hand first. “It was kind of you to think of me.” “I’m happy to recommend you.” Conner clasped Hunter in a firm shake. “You can actually thank Corey. He mentioned your ease with the horses to Hank, and like I said to him about the buffalo…” “What is said to Hank gets back to you.” “Or my wife. Which then usually”—a twinkle took over Connor’s dark eyes, turning him from intimidating to downright sexy—“gets back to me.” When Hunter had first started, he’d had the privilege of working in a group that included Connor’s wife. “Mrs. Hawkins is an incredible woman.” “And I damn well know it.” The man’s voice ended in a predatory growl. Shocked as hell, Hunter found himself smiling and suppressing a chuckle. “I think I saw her going around to the back of the house when I took a break about an hour ago.” “Thank you.” As Conner backed away, he pointed behind him. “I have to go…stuff to do. Bye.” Hunter’s stomach did a sweet somersault as he watched Connor Hawkins take off at a dead run around the side of his house. The man’s obvious passion and love for his wife, more than a decade into their marriage, remained powerful. Strangely, their strong marriage struck a poignant chord within Hunter rather than the alarm bells and panic seeing Jace, Sarah, and Jasper evoked. Hunter didn’t fear that witnessing an intimate or loving exchange between Connor and Cassie would begin an unraveling inside him that would end with his complete exposure, utter humiliation, and destruction. Unbidden, thoughts of Alex and their brief moments of intense connection filled Hunter’s mind and warmed his blood. The few periods where the two of them had talked and Hunter hadn’t thought about anything but how much he wanted the man now stirred his libido. He accepted how much he wanted to be in Alex’s presence without too much crazy skittering taking over his heart. Like with Connor just now, Hunter could find ways to be near people. If a nervous situation arose, he could talk himself down just as he’d done today, or excuse himself if the need became too great. Maybe, just maybe, Hunter had regained enough control to step into the world again. As he walked back through the barn, heading toward saying a great big thankyou to Corey, Hunter once again wore a big ol’ stupid smile. It felt damn good.

64

Cameron Dane

*** Hunter worked with his legs and his voice to control the excitable animal under him, never yelling or harshly yanking the reins to dominate and demand the horse bow to his will. When the palomino trusted Hunter’s weight on his back, he would settle and let Hunter put him through the paces. Cain and Luke had shared with Hunter that this horse had just completed a course of gentling and retraining and now needed to learn to accept people other than one of the two of them on his back. Both men had put Hunter through a hands-on, two-hour interview process. Working with this animal was the next task in his audition for the job. Out of his peripheral vision, Hunter located Cain and Luke just inside the corral, both leaning against the closed gate. Dressed similarly in jeans, T-shirts, and cowboy hats, at this distance the distinction between the two came with Cain’s slightly superior height and thickness to his shoulders and chest. Luke had a more traditional lanky cowboy frame. Hunter knew from seeing them in town that Luke had very dark, almost black hair, while Cain had a medium chestnut shade with strands of gray near the temples that resembled his brother’s. Right now Cain dipped down and said something to Luke that Hunter couldn’t decipher, and Luke nodded at his business partner and husband. “Come on, Hercules,” Hunter whispered to the nervous horse. He squeezed his thighs to help stay in the saddle but continued to talk and rub the young horse’s neck. “You’re the best. Once you get your gold star, you’re gonna be a legend in that new stable and bring joy to so many people who never thought they’d be able to ride.” Hunter tugged gently on the reins and attempted to bring the horse into a circling cantor. “You just have to take this next step and start making your future.” The horse whinnied and—thank you, Hercules, I love you—began to trot around the enclosure. Hunter allowed the horse to pick up speed and show his moxie. After giving him a good half-dozen laps around the corral, Hunter slowed Hercules down to a trot and finally brought him to a halt. Having done what Cain and Luke asked of him in this round, Hunter slid off the horse and walked him to the pair. “He’s a great horse,” Hunter shared, smiling as the horse bumped his shoulder as if he understood and approved. “Would you like me to walk him back to his stall and take care of his tack?” “I’ll take care of that,” Cain replied, taking the reins from Hunter. “What’s next?” Hunter asked, eager to get on to the next test before the sun started to set on them. “Paperwork,” Luke said. He stuck out his hand, and his smile lit up his stormy eyes. “Congratulations. You’re officially hired. Welcome to Forrest-Hawk.” “Really?” Feeling like someone had shot him into the stars, Hunter pumped Luke’s hand and then enthusiastically clasped Cain’s too. Only the best kind of adrenaline rushed through Hunter. This time nothing ugly killed the buzz trying to emerge. “Thank you so much. You won’t regret it.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

65

Like Luke, Cain’s laughter shone in his ocean gaze. “We’re happy to have you on board. Believe us”—he exchanged a glance with his partner that silently conveyed their years of working and living together—“beyond your ease and care with the horses, you’re one of the few people who embrace our interview process without glaring daggers like they want us six feet under. It makes a difference.” He nodded to back up his words. “We can’t have someone working for us who doesn’t have patience. Slow and steady is a huge part of what we do here. If you want the job interview over in ten minutes, you’re not the person for us.” Can’t have someone freaking out around the animals either. Hunter knew it went without saying, but he silently vowed to continue willing himself to a better, healthy place every single day. He would never let himself get into a situation where he frightened any of these abused and rehabilitated horses, and he had a feeling it would crush him if he failed to live up to Cain and Luke’s expectations. I will reward their faith in me. Hunter went ahead and etched that into his brain for the first time today. He would repeat it every day. Just like I silently promised my brothers-in-arms every day while fighting overseas. Will would have said Hunter had done good today, and Hunter would have swelled with pride and grown stronger under the praise. Right now pictures of a blond-haired, green-eyed business tycoon popped into Hunter’s brain, edging out Will’s likeness. Yet Will’s southern twang still rang in Hunter’s ears. He could hear the man saying Give that guy a shot. Tell him stuff it feels funny admitting to anyone else. He seems totally awesome and cool. Hunter didn’t know how a kid six years his junior and full of just a bit too much spit and vinegar to ever be considered a sound leader had become Hunter’s rock in the Middle East, but he had. Following the young man’s death, he had also become the voice of reason in Hunter’s head. Thanks, Will. Hunter allowed himself to remember the man. This time, aching sadness didn’t invade. I just might consider it. “Hunter?” Fingers snapped in front of Hunter’s face, bringing him back to Forrest-Hawk. Luke stood in front of him, and in the distance Cain led Hercules to one of their three stables. “Are you okay? You looked like you spaced out for a minute. Do you need some water?” Luke looked Hunter up and down. As he did, his stare narrowed. “It’s damned hot to be in long sleeves.” “I’m fine.” Hunter rubbed at the fabric covering his scars and worked like the devil not to cross his arms in a protective stance. “I’m psyched about the job, and I was just thinking about the people I have to call and tell about it.” Luke scrutinized for another uncomfortable heartbeat, but then just nodded and said, “Come with me.” The man strode across the sparsely grassed ground toward his and Cain’s cabin. “I’ll get you started on the paperwork. When Cain is finished settling in Hercules, he’ll join us and we’ll figure out your new schedule.” “Sounds good.” As Hunter fell into step beside the cowboy, he tipped his hat to his new boss. “Thank you again.” With a nod, Luke said, “Do your job well. That’s all the thanks we need.” “Will do.”

66

Cameron Dane

So Hunter had a new job. Add that to a renewed control over his need to cut himself. Beyond that, an excitement rather than crippling fear at the prospect of seeing Alex at his sister’s house two days from now. As bizarre as it sounded—I barely know the man!—Hunter wanted nothing more than to tell Alex his good news. Suddenly going to his childhood home for dinner with Sarah, Jace, and Jasper held a distinct appeal.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

67

Chapter Five “You’ll like workin’ at Cain and Luke’s,” Jasper said. In Sarah and Jace’s backyard, the young cowboy smiled in a way Hunter could only describe as shy. “They don’t hire too many people, so they sometimes get help from folks they trust workin’ on Hawkins’s property. Ren brung—brought—me along one time, told ’em I had a good way with animals, and they agreed to test me out. I go there sometimes when they need someone. Maybe I won’t now”—Jasper shrugged—“because they got you.” Stopped silent for a moment, Hunter scratched at his neck while puzzling out this man he didn’t yet know very well. “I hope I’m not taking you out of a job you liked.” “No no no. It ain’t anythin’ like that.” Jasper waved him off, and the gesture came so naturally Hunter breathed easier. “I like workin’ for Caleb and Jake’s stretch of property. I fit there, I think. I was just real proud Cain and Luke trusted me with their animals.” He slipped his hands in his front pockets and offered up a little smile. “I got a feelin’ you’ll fit real good at Forrest-Hawk, Hunter.” Hunter found himself mimicking Jasper’s easier stance. “That’s nice of you to say. I hope I do too.” As had occurred more often recently, one-on-one encounters became manageable situations for Hunter. Successful, even. “I want to thank you again for suggesting I try for work with Hawkins Ranch. It was kind of you to put in a good word for me.” “Oh, I didn’t do nothin’ spec—” “Hey, Cowboy!” Jace’s voice boomed across the backyard, drawing Jasper’s and Hunter’s immediate attention. His focus on Jasper, Jace stood behind a grill, spatula in one hand and tongs in the other. “I left the barbecue sauce inside. Can you get it for me?” Jasper gave a thumbs-up and called out, “Sure thing.” He started across the backyard, then turned to Hunter. “It was nice talkin’ to you for a bit.” “You too,” Hunter replied, standing up straighter as he realized he actually meant it. “We’ll have to do it again.” As Jasper jogged past Jace, the man snagged his hand and pulled Jasper in. “Thank you, babe,” Jace said. He stole a fast kiss and then smacked Jasper on the ass, sending the young cowboy into the house wearing a furious blush. Jasper had not officially moved into the house with Sarah and Jace, but he pretty much lived at the place when not working. Hunter had a feeling the younger

68

Cameron Dane

man would make it a permanent address change very soon. It would only take Hunter convincing Sarah once and for all that he did not intend to reclaim his old bedroom. For the sake of this threesome’s happiness—no matter how much delving into intimate issues with Sarah put Hunter on edge—he would make her understand he no longer considered this place his home. Emotionally it now belonged to the three of them. Looking at this house, being inside it, stirred up scenes of a deathwatch for Hunter. Snippets of his mother ill in bed for a prolonged period invaded Hunter’s mind when inside this place, overshadowing the better memories, such as his mom letting him ride his bike inside one Sunday afternoon when it wouldn’t stop raining outside. Intellectually Hunter knew a million good days and nights from his childhood should coalesce and bring him peace, but every time he tried to conjure them, he could only hear his sister’s voice breaking in his ear, valiantly assuring him she had the home front covered while he went through basic training and then moved where the military wanted him. Hunter had come home on weekends when he could and then finally got some extended leave toward the end of his mother’s life, but other than that had not been in this house for nearly a decade. Sarah’s wonderfully joyous laugh echoed through the open windows to the backyard right then, twisting Hunter’s gut in the most acute way. As the sound grew closer, a deeper male chuckle joined in, and Hunter’s stomach flip-flopped with recognition. Alex. Hunter had not seen the man, even running, in almost a week. He’s here. Jace left Jasper at the grill and strode straight to Hunter. A glint of steel hardened his jade gaze. With one glance to the back door, Jace stepped even closer to Hunter. “Don’t up and run out of here on Sarah again tonight. I won’t have it.” A death glare from Jace sparked a bark of laughter in Hunter. “Damn. You really have become her watchdog.” “You gave me the job,” Jace reminded him through lips that barely moved. The humor fell away as Jace’s seriousness clicked into place for Hunter. Memories of too many long-distance phone calls from his little sister kicked Hunter in the gut too. After clearing his throat, Hunter said, “I know I did. I can’t ever forget it.” Jace glanced over his shoulder once more and then came back to Hunter just as Sarah stepped out the back door. “Look.” His voice barely held sound. “I know you’re not entirely pleased with the result of the years Sarah and I spent living toge—” “Wait.” Hunter grabbed Jace’s arm, his insides suddenly seizing. Jace’s diatribe had taken a severe left turn for Hunter. “What the hell are you talking about?” “You avoid us like we have the plague,” Jace practically hissed. “Don’t try to deny it.” He opened his mouth and then pursed his lips, creating thick silence between them, until finally the hardness in his face softened to show Hunter’s childhood friend. “Listen, I understand it’s difficult enough to integrate back into

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

69

society after being in a war zone for so long. I know it must have done a number on you to come home and find your sister and best friend in a relationship with another man, but for Sarah’s sake you have got to find a way to deal. She would never want you to know”—Jace’s stare slipped to licking flames inside pure ice—“but the distance between the two of you is killing her. She hasn’t said anything out loud, but I see it in her eyes. Jasper does too. Hell, Jasper even thought it might have been him you didn’t like. That maybe you always wanted Sarah and me together, and he ruined it by turning us into a ménage that makes you uncomfortable. I don’t like to see hurt in his eyes any more than I like it in hers.” Taking one more quick look over his shoulder, Jace added, “I’ve located some people.” He dug a scrap of paper out of his pocket and palmed it into Hunter’s hand. “These are the names of some good therapists in Billings who’ve helped men and women cope with returning home from the Middle East.” “Wait… What… No.” Without even looking at the folded paper, Hunter tried to give it back. “You’re wrong about everything you just said. I’m fine. About everything.” Jace shoved his hands in his back pockets and stepped out of Hunter’s reach, leaving the list in Hunter’s hand. “I think you’ve been alone and quiet with your thoughts for too long.” His eyes got a little too watery to blame on smoke from the grill, and it stabbed at Hunter’s heart. “We love you, but if you won’t let us help you, then please let someone else in.” With a glance toward the sky and a couple of dozen blinks, Jace pulled himself together. Hunter, on the other hand, didn’t know what to say. A silent voice screamed through every part of his body to get to a place of privacy and make one good cut into his flesh that would bleed out all the volatility churning inside him right now. “If you need a few minutes,” Jace murmured, “I’ll say you had to go take a piss. I’ll keep the others busy. Join us when you can.” “Thank you.” Rusty nails had nothing on the scratch in Hunter’s tone. Hunter watched Jace join the small group. Alex, who looked so approachable and stunning with his perfectly wind-tussled hair, dark jeans, and crisp white shirt, stood among them, fitting in better than Hunter did. Christ. Hunter ached for a life free of this debilitating train ride that forced him to remain isolated or risk a total breakdown in public. Without knowing it, Jace had afforded Hunter a neat excuse to hit the bathroom. Every humming nerve ending inside him wanted to accept. He had his pocketknife, but the draw of getting his hands on a razor blade so he could make just a few precise, neat nicks into his flesh, that he could then easily clean, pulled Hunter to take the first steps toward the house like a starving man offered a steak dinner. No! Hunter willed his legs to halt. Stop this. He had the knowledge and the will to overcome taking that bite of food that would become a feeding frenzy if he allowed himself that first taste. Remember to breathe. Think about how you can’t

70

Cameron Dane

even look at yourself in the mirror without wanting to vomit when you give in to the cutting. A quick glance to Hunter’s left showed Jace making a big show of telling a story about something that had happened at work, corralling the full attention of the other three as promised. Unwittingly Hunter found his focus on the house again. As if he could see through the walls, he knew right where to train his gaze to envision the bathroom. Only instead of the stark white bathroom of his apartment, Hunter could only see Sarah’s, Jace’s, and even Jasper’s clutter vying for valuable real estate on the sink and shelving above the toilet. Too many towels shoved onto the too-small rack, and magazines Hunter didn’t read stuffed into a basket on the floor, filled his mind’s eye. That bathroom is saturated with the three of them. Even if Hunter did go in there and lock the door, he would still feel three sets of eyes on him, watching every little cut he made. Oh Jesus. Right where he stood, bile rose in Hunter’s throat, and the desire to hide in the bathroom no longer held the same level of appeal. His chest still pounded so hard it throbbed in his throat, denying him peace. Yet he couldn’t leave. If he did, he had a feeling he would damage his friendship with Jace in a way from which they would never recover. The mask Hunter wore continued to slip further, edging closer and closer to revealing the disgusting scene beneath. I need something. Hunter scrambled for a temporary fix, anything that would rein in the scratching inside him—emotions demanding release—Jace had so dangerously poked. Just a quick piercing pain to take everything away. Zeroing in on a cluster of bushes, Hunter almost lost his knees with relief. Yes. That will work. On his way across the yard, Hunter paused to examine one of Sarah’s rosebushes and accidentally closed his hand around a branch full of thorns. Yesss. A second squeeze dug the thorns into the open cuts, shooting every thought and pain receptor in his body to his hand to deal with the physical pain. Ahh yeah please. It took every bit of Hunter’s focus to feel those thorns break his flesh and sink into his skin without flinching or shouting, and in doing so, it retracted the claws of the demons scratching him inside. I did it. Hunter exhaled and joined the group. Awareness sizzled down Alex’s spine. Shit. Jace’s story ceased to register in Alex’s brain. He’s right behind me. Alex didn’t have to turn to know Hunter had joined them. He could feel the man’s heat radiating into his back, warming Alex’s skin on an already balmy evening. Behind Alex, Hunter cleared his throat. “Can I get a paper towel?” he asked. “My klutziness strikes again.” In front of him, Sarah’s face fell, and she whispered, “Oh God, Hunter. Run your hand under the spigot. I’ll go get some gauze and antibacterial cream.” The young woman’s face, and the speed with which she booked into the house, had Alex spinning in Hunter’s direction. Hunter had his ungloved had out in front of him, palm up, showing three gashes smearing his hand crimson.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

71

Jace raced to the spigot and had the water running before Hunter reached it. Hot on Hunter’s heels, Alex and Jasper followed, just in time to see rose-tinted water dripping from Hunter’s cut-up hand run onto the grass. Once the water started to flow almost clear from Hunter’s hand, Alex said, “Here.” He whipped his handkerchief out of his pocket and wrapped the white linen around Hunter’s hand, wincing with Hunter. As Alex applied pressure to the cuts, he glanced up and met Hunter’s dark chocolate gaze. “Sorry.” He cupped the underside of Hunter’s hand and steadily pushed against the wounds. “I’m trying to get the blood to stop.” “You carry handkerchiefs?” Hunter asked. Alex couldn’t quite believe it, but he swore for a split second Hunter wore a lopsided smile. “I thought that mannerism was relegated to cowboys and their bandanas these days.” “Someone I—” Alex snapped his mouth shut before love slipped out. He couldn’t begin to explain Mack in just a few sentences while at someone else’s backyard barbecue. His heart tugged with love he couldn’t bring himself to share. Alex instead finished, “Someone I’m close to keeps one in his pocket and taught me to always have one on hand.” The screen door slammed against the wall right then, and Sarah rushed back to Hunter, mahogany hair flying behind her, hands full. “Okay, here we go. I have antiseptic, a towel, and gauze.” Jace and Jasper grabbed everything but the towel from her hands. As Alex peeled back his bloodied handkerchief, Sarah wiped Hunter’s hand with the towel, dragged his hand under the water again, and repeated the process. “What happened?” she asked. “Tripped over my feet.” Hunter’s Adam’s apple bobbed considerably as he said that, and Alex narrowed his stare. “I automatically grabbed for the thing in reach,” Hunter went on, his focus completely on his hand, “and it happened to be one of your rosebushes.” He’s lying. Every intuitive bone in Alex’s body, a sense that had saved him from signing on to deals he’d eventually learned went terribly wrong, tickled in his brain and down his spine. I know he’s lying. Alex’s instincts never steered him wrong. Except why would Hunter make up a story about how he’d cut his hand? It didn’t make any sense. When it came to Hunter, though, a voice in Alex’s head reminded him that very little of how Alex behaved around this man went in accordance to how he comported himself around other people. Maybe in relation to Hunter, Alex’s intuition was off too. No. His gut protested the dismissal. It’s not. Hunter looked up just then and locked on Alex’s gaze. The heat in Hunter’s stare annihilated every last one of Alex’s senses. Blood roared in Alex’s ears and sent his heart to beating out of control. And thank God it did, otherwise it would have flooded straight to his cock and he’d have to stand here and explain a raging hard-on to three too many people. Dark, unchecked desire lived in Hunter’s eyes for a split second, drying Alex’s mouth and making him speechless. Before Hunter

72

Cameron Dane

banked most of the heat, one thought flashed a neon sign visible to only Alex over and over again: I WANT THIS MAN TO OWN ME. Shit. On the inside, Alex reeled. He’d never wanted anyone to possess him. Ever. Yet his flesh burned under Hunter’s scrutiny. Alex managed to tear his stare away from Hunter, look down, to find he still had his hand cupped under Hunter’s. Unimaginable heat sparked between where their skin touched. Alex yanked his hand away and just managed not to hold it against himself as if injured. While Alex’s mind and heart vied for record speed racing, Sarah finished applying the cream to Hunter’s hand and wrapped it in gauze. Alex glanced up again, and Hunter abruptly looked away. Alex didn’t know whether to weep or whisper thank you. The reprieve from Hunter’s intense, almost frightening focus allowed Alex to regain full function of his brain. At the same time, the loss of that attention washed a chill through him under his clothes, as if someone had taken away the sun. What in the hell is this man doing to me? Before Alex could even begin to contemplate an answer, Jace looked at his watch and then clapped his hands. “Okay. The chicken should be done.” He stepped back in front of the grill and lifted the lid, releasing even more hickory-scented goodness into the evening air. “Let’s eat.”

*** Three hours later, as Sarah, Jace, and Jasper waved good-bye to Alex and Hunter from the porch, Alex didn’t know what to think. Hunter had been quiet and subdued through the meal and dessert. He had definitely let everyone else control the conversation. In fact, Alex had almost felt as if Hunter had somehow separated himself while remaining in the group. The strange, unspoken dynamic had repeatedly tugged a strange pain in Alex’s chest for most of the night. A dull ache had grown steadily within Alex all evening, prodding him to help Hunter in some way. Only Hunter had not reinitiated any eye contact with Alex, and in fact had radiated a vibration that said stay away. If Alex had sensed the push away being directed only at him, it would have cut him deeper than he might like to admit, but he’d sensed caution in their hosts in regard to Hunter too, most particularly Sarah. When they reached the sidewalk, without words, Hunter veered toward his truck. Alex walked to his car, his steps not as light as he’d hoped for when Sarah had answered the door earlier this evening. Alex felt as if he’d gone into a signing meeting anticipating a great, profitable venture only to find his potential new business partner still on the fence about the deal. Alex chanced a glance at Hunter, and the shadowed profile of the tall, muscular man unlocking his door rushed a shiver through him. Damn. Practically speaking, Alex had seen—hell, had been with—men more classically handsome than Hunter. Many of them existed. Many of them gay and within Alex’s reach. Yet none of them had ever ignited such hunger in Alex as Hunter had tonight with just that one look. None of them invaded Alex’s thoughts when he should have his mind on work or when he did something as simple as brushing his teeth. None of them

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

73

engaged the protector in Alex that witnessing the rare flashes of loss in Hunter’s normally shuttered eyes did. None of them were Hunter. Simple as that. Period. Damn it. As if he sensed Alex staring, Hunter looked Alex’s way, and their gazes collided. Once again Alex felt stripped naked. He felt as if Hunter had run to him and bent him over the front of the car. Unlike anything Alex had craved in his adult life, he envisioned spreading himself open and offering his hole for a rough fucking. Oh God. Alex shuddered where he stood, and his cock shot to full attention, jamming against his jeans. Twenty feet away, Hunter’s nostrils flared, as if he could smell Alex’s arousal. Holy fuck. Right then Hunter slid his gloved hand over his crotch, visibly rubbed himself, and it looked as if lightning shot right through his body. A soft, feminine murmur suddenly carried across the night breeze, the sound snapping Alex’s attention to the porch and his hosts. Jace and Jasper had Sarah sandwiched between them as they stumbled into the house in a tangle of passion. Geez. Alex had totally forgotten their presence. A deep, intoxicating waft of desire definitely scented the air tonight. Alex turned back to Hunter, and instead of getting a yes signal from a man he wanted with an unnatural desperation—for Alex at least—he watched the taillights of Hunter’s truck get smaller as the guy pulled farther way. Shit. Damn. Fuck. The slightest spotlight put on Hunter seemed to chase him back into his solitary world. With one look down at the waste of hard cock leaking a damp spot into his jeans, Alex climbed into his car and took his erection home to his trailer for a beer and a pile of paperwork.

*** Hunter barely got into his apartment and slammed the door before tearing at his belt, pushing his jeans just past his hips, and freeing his cock. Oh fuck, yes. The release from confinement alone flung Hunter halfway toward release. His rigid shaft spiked weighty and straight at attention, and his balls already pulled with shiver-inducing pain and pleasure in his sac. In total darkness, Hunter touched his dick and then cursed when gauze abraded the sensitized length. His cock too hard and hurting to ignore, Hunter tore off his glove and closed his two fingers and thumb around his thickness, moaning as he began to stroke his needy flesh. The scars on his damaged palm added an extra layer of sensation to each glide from root to tip, and Hunter hated that an evil of war gave him pleasure in any way. Normally Hunter jerked off with his other hand; if he could have walked away from this handjob, he would have, but Hunter could not erase Alex Quick from his mind. A collage of images depicting every moment they’d crossed paths filled Hunter’s vision, and he could not get the man’s rich, smooth voice out of his head.

74

Cameron Dane

For such a savvy, wealthy businessman, Alex possessed an occasional awkwardness that allowed him to become more than a movie star, jerk-off fantasy. In a perfect world, Hunter could imagine himself talking and laughing with Alex in bed in the mornings before play turned to a hot bout of sweaty, dirty sex that left them both gasping for air and running for a shared shower so they weren’t late for work. Another moan escaped Hunter, filling the dark entry of his apartment. He rocked his hips and pulled on his dick with as much speed as he could, trying with force rather than finesse to make up for his two missing digits. Needing more, Hunter let his eyes fall closed. He pictured pulling to a stop by the side of the road the next time he went to work rather than simply slowing and waving as he passed Alex. Without words, Hunter would kick open the door, his pants already open from stroking himself, his cock—thick, long, and hard—on display for Alex to see. Oh yeah. His balls so sensitive, Hunter jerked with one rub over the swollen orbs. With his ass plastered against the door, he writhed in response to every nerve ending in his cock screaming for release, so very ready to come. Help me, Alex. Hunter whimpered, seeing himself on the side of that road, Alex stalking ever closer. Touch me. Make me come. In just those damn little black running shorts, Alex stopped right in front of where Hunter sat, Hunter now turned sideways with his legs spread and his boots dug firmly into the metal step, his jeans bunched at his hips. In the vision, Hunter had his gloved hand wrapped around his rock-hard shaft. He bit his lip to hold back a needy noise as a pearl of cum formed in his slit, the bead growing ever bigger under Alex’s open stare. Just as the drop of precum crested and threatened to roll down Hunter’s length, Alex dipped down and darted out his tongue, catching it right on the tip. He let his tongue slide up the thick head of Hunter’s cock for the barest second, just enough to make Hunter gasp, and then swallowed down Hunter’s early seed. Oh Christ. In the apartment, Hunter went still, his movements now entirely linked to his fantasy. In his imagination, Hunter saw Alex bent over at the waist, looking up at Hunter through a heavy-lidded gaze. He hummed against Hunter’s too-sensitive dick, moving his lips up one side of the shaft and down the other. As Alex tormented Hunter’s flesh with repeated grazing of his lips, Hunter rubbed himself from root to tip in time, fully convinced he had Alex’s mouth oh so close to claiming him completely. Every time Alex moved his lips or occasionally gave Hunter an enticing lick, his ass swayed, barely covered by those little shorts, and drove Hunter mad. Between watching Alex wiggle, wanting to rip those shorts off him, and barely keeping from shoving his dick into Alex’s mouth, Hunter almost bit his lip clean through to keep from screaming. “Fuck… Fuck…” Hunter clawed down the man’s back, digging into muscle in his bid to hold on to his control. His hips churned against the fabric seat in his effort not to thrust. “Alex, Alex, Alex…” Hunter buried his hands in the man’s blond locks, keeping them tethered in another way.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

75

Pausing, Alex looked up and held on Hunter’s stare. “Tell me what you want.” His eyes glittered with more clarity than the finest emeralds. Not breaking eye contact, he swirled his tongue around the head of Hunter’s cock. “I need to hear you say it.” Hunter’s entire being suddenly seized, and everything inside and out hurt terribly. He wanted to turn away but couldn’t, and his throat went raw before getting the first word out. “Suck me.” He trembled on his admittance. “I want to come in your mouth.” The spark lit brighter in Alex’s eyes, and he dug his fingers deep into Hunter’s hips. With one tug forward, Alex dropped his gaze and opened wide around Hunter’s cock. He went deep fast, taking Hunter down in one smooth, hot, wet motion, filling his mouth with dick. Hunter went taut as a drum all over. Rather than pull up, Alex swallowed, put one hell of a milking massage all around Hunter’s cockhead, and shoved Hunter headfirst into the abyss. Shouting and bucking his hips, no longer feeling human, Hunter roared and thrust, roared and thrust with release. His body sizzling with countless points of exposure, Hunter dumped line after line of cum down Alex’s willing throat, watching through a desire-filled gaze as the man eagerly swallowed every drop Hunter had to give. It felt like his orgasm lasted an eternity, but eventually Hunter’s body emptied of its excitement and his cock slid from Alex’s mouth. Alex pressed a kiss to Hunter’s tip and then smiled drowsily. Hunter brushed his fingers through Alex’s hair and roughly whispered thank you. Then slowly the trees and the grass and the sunlight and truck disappeared, stripping the fantasy away one element at a time, until reality finally took Alex away too, leaving Hunter in his apartment entry with a pool of semen on the rug. Hunter had anticipated disappointment in returning from a fantasy to a lonely apartment but figured at least with a satiated body he could trudge to bed and fall asleep. Only when Hunter pulled up his pants, his cock remained better than halfhard, so much so he winced when tucking and only managed to do up half the zipper. After making his way to the bathroom, he flipped the light to brush his teeth. He moved more like a prowling cat than a sleepy, lumbering sloth. His body— his entire body, not just his dick—still buzzed with the ache for contact, putting Hunter on edge. He wet and rubbed a washcloth over his face, and his skin crackled with static, telling him it wanted Alex, not terrycloth, brushing over his flesh. In leaning forward, Hunter grazed his crotch against the edge of the sink, and he clamped his jaw with the reminder that spilling on the floor had not dwindled his arousal. Hunter’s mind still spun pictures of Alex in front of him, not even letting Hunter see his own reflection in the mirror. More than envisioning the stunning picture of the man running on the side of the road, giving Hunter a spectacular view of such a perfectly formed body, Hunter saw Alex from just a few minutes ago, standing at his car. A streetlight had flooded Alex in a narrow beam of soft light, showing Hunter a forest-colored shadowing in Alex’s eyes, as well as the shiver that

76

Cameron Dane

had gone through his frame. He issued an invitation. Hunter hadn’t been with anyone in a very long time, but he still knew how to read a come-get-me look, even in a man as cool as Alex. Hunter had a welcome to follow Alex to his trailer for sex. At least I did a half hour ago. Hunter doubted he’d offended the man irreparably by driving away. Hunter’s cock stirred and went even stiffer in his jeans, telling him to take a chance and go find out. Anticipation shimmered through the rest of him, making him feel caged in this apartment and needful of escape. Hunter stalked through the living room to his bedroom and yanked open the nightstand drawer, his needs ripping at him too painfully to even pause before grabbing a condom and packet of lube. As he stuffed the items in his pocket while going in reverse, Hunter reasoned Alex had hardly made him nervous tonight at all. Jace had been the one to set that moment of panic in bloom. And even then Hunter had controlled it right in front of an audience. He’d educated himself about his condition and had problem solved his way to success, just as he’d done on a thousand different occasions for a thousand different reasons while in the military. Without breaking stride, Hunter snatched his glove off the floor on the way out the door. He needed to fuck someone. And tonight Alex fit the bill.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

77

Chapter Six The screech of tires spinning made Alex snap his attention up from the paperwork spread across the table in his trailer. A door slammed, the sound right next to his open window, and Alex forgot about the proposal and blueprints for an addition of new bungalows to a hotel Quick Holdings owned on an island off the coast of Georgia. He tossed his reading glasses on the table and searched for his shirt—where the hell did I throw it?—when banging on his door threw propriety out the window. Shirt forgotten, Alex yanked open the door. “What the hell?” died on his lips the second he spotted the man on the other side. Oh dear God in heaven. His mouth watering, Alex sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of a fully clothed Hunter that somehow translated in Alex’s mind to stark, hard, and gloriously nude. Alex quickly read untamed and savage in the black orbs taking over Hunter’s eyes, and automatically took a step back just as Hunter invaded the trailer. The man’s presence consumed the small space, seemed to shrink it by half, but Alex could only focus on the mass of solid male filling his vision. Alex’s legs hit the edge of the table, and his rapidly thickening cock, trapped behind his jeans, bumped into an equally hard bulge when Hunter stalked into Alex’s personal space. Shit. Their erections grazed against one another a second time. Hunter looked away for a moment, trembling visibly. When he came back, he scorched the entire trailer with one dark look. “Tell me now,” he uttered, his meaning crystal clear. His gloveand gauze-covered hands hovered oh so close, right at Alex’s hips, but didn’t so much as brush against fabric let alone bare flesh. Raw hunger filled his stare. “Once I start, I won’t stop.” Son of a bitch, yes. Every breath Alex took filled his nose—his entire being— with the musky smells of sweat and sex radiating off Hunter like a predator marking the area. He came. Hunter leaned in and growled, his nostrils flaring as if Alex possessed an equally intoxicating scent. Their noses almost touching, able to feel each exhale the other took, Hunter met Alex’s gaze with something animalistic in his. “Tell me.” His lips barely moved with his command. Unbidden, Alex’s passage clenched and then throbbed, his body telling him the answer it wanted him to give. Oh hell. His heart pounding like a motherfucking freight train, Alex caressed Hunter’s stubbly jaw and took a tentative step forward into the unknown.

78

Cameron Dane

“Whatever you want to do to me”—Alex rubbed his thumb over the hard line of Hunter’s mouth, and his voice caught in a way it never had before—“I want too.” Eyes locked on Hunter, Alex moved his fingers over the cutting slash of Hunter’s cheek and noticed a tremor in his hand as he touched the lines fanning from the corner of this beautiful man’s eyes. “I think I want it more.” With a rough groan, Hunter slashed his mouth across Alex’s and took him with a dominating kiss. He grabbed on to Alex’s hips and yanked his body in tightly, wasting no time in grinding their cocks into one another with as much force and aggression as he used to thrust his tongue past Alex’s lips and claim ownership of his mouth. Hunter licked deeply and bit hard enough to nick skin, and Alex barely held on for the ride. He curled his fingers into Hunter’s shirt and tried to get a taste of this man he’d fantasized about from the second they’d met, but Hunter shoved Alex’s arms back down to his sides and held them there while plundering his mouth as if Alex were a piece of succulent fruit and Hunter hadn’t eaten a morsel in years. Alex had never been with someone so aggressively domineering, but every time Hunter dug his fingers into Alex’s wrists, holding Alex prisoner as he stole another wet, openmouthed kiss, Alex’s heart rate kicked up another dozen notches and his cock jammed harder and fuller against his zipper, demanding release. Biting back hard enough to surely sting, Alex struggled against Hunter’s hold and managed to free his hands. “My jeans,” he said while fumbling with the button and zipper, his sudden need making him clumsy. “Pull me out.” Sucking in choppy breath after choppy breath, Alex wanted to scream when the zipper jammed midpull. “Oh fuck.” He bit his lip as Hunter shoved Alex’s hands aside and took over the task. “My cock is killing me.” It didn’t take but a moment for Hunter to rip the zipper off one side of its track and get Alex’s jeans open that way, rather than wrestle with the stubborn metal teeth for a moment longer. Within another split second, Hunter tore Alex’s pants down to his hips and captured his prick in his grip before it had entirely sprung free from his clothes. Alex moaned and jerked under Hunter’s hold, and his shaft somehow thickened even more in the man’s gauze-covered hand. Alex looked up and for just a heartbeat thought he saw right into the depths of Hunter’s soul. Darkness lived far deeper than the color of his eyes, yet the saturation of vulnerability stole Alex’s ability to speak. Alex moved to cup Hunter’s face, but the man grabbed his wrist and pushed Alex’s arm back to his side once more. Alex parted his lips to speak, and Hunter swooped in with another ferocious kiss. He forced Alex’s jaw wide apart, tangled their tongues in a masterful battle, and added stroking Alex’s prick into the mix. Hunter dragged Alex straight back into a place of guttural need where everything but the two of them mating ceased to exist. Alex barely stood up under the onslaught of Hunter’s sensual attack, yet he churned his hips with every rub along his cock, pushing into the contact with a silent plea for more. “Jesus,” Hunter said roughly. With his forehead pressed to Alex’s, he dropped his stare to his bandaged hand working over Alex’s prick. Hunter reached under

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

79

and rubbed his blunt fingers over Alex’s sac, making Alex gasp and pump his hips. Alex’s body produced a fat bead of early seed, proof of his desire. Hunter looked up, and something that might have been a grin briefly graced his lips. “You’re so goddamn responsive.” He grazed his thumb across Alex’s slit, smearing the precum all around the mushroom head. “Not usually like this.” Alex couldn’t stop thrusting his cock into Hunter’s hold. His entire body felt like flames licked at his skin from the inside and out. Meeting the intensity in Hunter’s gaze tightened Alex’s throat and dragged complete, rare honesty from within. “Not until tonight.” Right then Hunter reached even farther back and teased Alex’s pucker, inciting the virgin muscle to flutter and pulse. Alex keened and sucked his lip, his stare locked on Hunter, and whispered, “Not until you.” Something base and dangerous flashed in Hunter’s eyes, and it ignited every morsel of hunger inside Alex with equal heat. Grabbing each other’s heads, they came together with violent, biting kisses. This time Alex shoved himself into the fray and didn’t let Hunter overpower him. He gave as good as he got, reveling in the hint of mint mixing in the humid warmth of Hunter’s mouth. With each swipe of their tongues, Alex rubbed himself harder and harder against Hunter’s thigh, his cock aching and his balls swelling with nearly overwhelming excitement. He reached between them and tried to get at Hunter’s shirt, desperate for some skinon-skin contact, but Hunter suddenly tore their mouths apart and dropped to his knees, his swollen lips a mere inch from Alex’s rearing cock. Oh good hell. Just the sight of Hunter kneeling oh so heart-stoppingly close had Alex leaking more early seed. With one glance up, his gaze full of unchecked desires, Hunter swirled his tongue around the head of Alex’s cock and then swallowed him half down in one motion. God in heaven. Shit. Alex shot to his tiptoes, and he bit down a scream as acute, perfect pleasure tackled every nerve ending in his shaft. Hunter grabbed hold of Alex, held him steady, and began to bob in a smooth, expert rhythm over the length of Alex’s dick. Hot, wet suction enveloped Alex’s cock—up and down, in and out, a little bit deeper each time—and tormented Alex with repeated hints of slit kissing throat. Alex sank his fingers into Hunter’s hair, holding on for dear life, as his balls grew painfully bigger and heavier with cum. His asshole clenched again and again, for the first time in his life silently telling Alex he wanted a man deep inside his ass. Right then Hunter scratched around Alex’s hips to his buttocks and clutched onto each cheek hard enough to split Alex wide open in the rear. Cool air danced along the newly exposed line of skin. The sensitivity hardly had time to evoke a shiver when Hunter went down on Alex all the way to the furry hilt, stuffing every damn inch of Alex’s cock into his mouth and beyond. Then he swallowed. In response, Alex roared in a deep, guttural tone he’d never heard himself make in his life. Overwhelming pleasure had Alex jamming his hips forward. When

80

Cameron Dane

he couldn’t get his penis any deeper, he yanked his cock out and then punched it back into Hunter’s waiting mouth, fucking the man to the throat again, taking it the way he wanted Hunter to claim his ass. Orgasm sat right there in the ridiculous tightening and pulling in Alex’s nuts—so close he clenched his jaw hard enough to make his teeth hurt—but no matter how incredible the blowjob, release eluded him. Oh fuck. Alex pulled at his nipples clumsily, tweaking the little mauve-colored discs to pebbled, uncomfortable points, all the while struggling to find the tipping point that would make him come. Please. In that moment Hunter blinked and looked up, his lips still beautifully surrounding Alex’s cock. The sight made Alex pulse in Hunter’s mouth, pushing him ever so much closer to release. Such blistering, scorching passion lived in the darkness mapping Hunter’s stare that Alex couldn’t breathe. Openly watching Alex, Hunter dug his fingers out of Alex’s butt cheeks and slid them toward his crack, letting just the tips of two graze his pucker. Oh shit. Alex bit his cheek as his asshole sucked in and then released, as if it shied away but then reached out for Hunter’s touch again. The leather glove covering Hunter’s palm warmed as it rubbed repeatedly against Alex’s ass, but as sexy as that smooth material felt, Alex craved Hunter’s skin directly touching his. Hunter teased Alex’s hole again, putting their flesh in complete contact once more, no glove or gauze between that particular patch of skin. Alex’s passage convulsed, and he couldn’t believe it, but he pushed his ass into the contact, moaning incoherently for Hunter to fuck him. Hunter groaned around Alex’s cock, and then plunged his finger into Alex’s ass, taking Alex to the second knuckle. In immediate response, Alex shouted down the walls of his trailer. Fiery pain consumed Alex’s rectum, the flames licking all the way up his chute to his spine. Yet at the same time, a rush of blood flooded every pleasure center in Alex’s being. His balls felt like they sucked up and exploded, sending the collateral damage straight into his granite-hard dick, and turned his shout into a deep-seated cry of previously unknown joy. Alex drove his cock forward, deep into Hunter’s mouth, and spurted over and over, unloading his ejaculate down the man’s throat. Just when Alex couldn’t imagine having a drop more to give, Hunter withdrew his finger from Alex’s channel. The flash of strange discomfort somehow sent another little jolt through Alex, and he pumped out a drop more of spunk. Alex didn’t even get a chance to regain his breathing and bearings when Hunter spit out his prick, spun him around, and roughly bent him facedown over the table. Paperwork flew into the air and fell to the floor, and Alex’s forehead hit the blueprints for the bungalows, trapping the plans beneath him. His bare ass hung right out in the air, making Alex feel exposed and on display for anyone interested in fucking him. It didn’t take but a second for Hunter to smack Alex’s ass a half-dozen times, hard enough to make his buttocks sting like a motherfucker. Before Alex recovered from the shock of the spanking, Hunter ran his fingers down Alex’s spine and into his crease to toy with his newly breeched pucker. The man quickly pushed a blunt, slick finger past Alex’s ring. A cool sensation told Alex

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

81

this time Hunter coated his hole with lube. Hunter kept pushing the slick substance into Alex’s ass, stretching Alex’s passage with his invasion. Goddamn fucking shit. Alex gasped and squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as his rectum fought this second taking. He’s going to fuck me. At that thought, Alex’s channel fluttered, for a moment confusing a flash of pleasure with the pain. Hunter invoked a slight, shallow twisting motion—widening Alex’s opening with delicious discomfort, making Alex groan. Just as fast as Hunter tucked his finger inside Alex, he took it away. No, don’t stop! Before Alex could get out a plea that he wanted Hunter back inside his ass, Hunter muttered, “Shit,” and then his glove hit the floor next to Alex’s foot. Alex started to look over his shoulder, but Hunter put his hand on the back of Alex’s head and pressed him back into the table. Hunter kept his big hand buried in Alex’s hair, holding him down, but he moved the other one, free of the glove now, over the hills of Alex’s ass, screaming extra sensitivity into the area with each caress of scarred skin against smooth. Hunter started to run his hand up Alex’s back, but midway there he swore again. The two fingers and thumb curled into a fist against Alex’s spine. Alex held his breath, suspended for a split second in time, but with Hunter’s next “Fucking shit” the man lined up his fingers at Alex’s entrance and, without any coddling, sank both of them all the way into Alex’s ass. Alex bit back a cry at the thicker penetration and stifled another scream at the second plunge of Hunter’s two-fingered preparation of Alex for a fucking. Something deeper than this stage of initial pain grabbed onto Alex in his core, shouting at him that he needed this mating as much as Hunter needed to give it. Alex’s passage burned with the third knife and twist from Hunter’s two digits into his ass, yet this time a little firework exploded in Alex’s belly too, the sparks fanning out to tickle his nipples, cock, and chute. Oh fuck, yes. Alex groaned low and deep through the first real blossoming hints of pleasure. “Jesus Christ.” Hunter’s gruff tone filled the small trailer. He folded himself over Alex’s back and grazed his teeth along Alex’s shoulder. As he pulled his fingers from inside Alex, he sank his teeth into Alex’s nape hard enough to break skin, and then licked and said, “I love the way you moan.” Hunter’s belt buckle clinked in the quiet as the man scrambled to get it open. Alex could feel Hunter undo his jeans and shove them down to his hips. Scorching hot cock sprang out and branded Alex’s left buttock, but Hunter quickly adjusted himself and rubbed his erection into Alex’s crack, tagging the sensitized skin and bud. Contrary to what Alex expected, each time Hunter rocked his cock against Alex’s throbbing entrance, Alex whimpered and pushed back for more rather than shrinking away from the contact. Hunter’s thick shaft touched every millimeter of skin along Alex’s crease, sawing through the area again. On the third pass of dick over pucker, Alex shivered and groaned. Another coarse string of curses filled the air. Hunter scraped his fingers down Alex’s back, pulling skin under his trimmed nails as he went, and his thrusts

82

Cameron Dane

became more erratic. He then smacked Alex’s flanks with sharp, stinging hits, surely bruising Alex’s flesh. “Jesus.” Hunter jabbed his fat cockhead at Alex’s entrance, pushing deliciously at the striated, tension-filled muscle. “I want inside your ass so bad.” Alex dug his forehead into the blueprints, excited and fearful at the same time. A second stab to his hole sent a squeeze of delicious anticipation throughout his passage and stirred his cock anew. “Ohhh fuck…” Suddenly Alex’s heart seized, and he reached back to grab Hunter’s hand. “Condom…” Fuck. His heart plunged. This might be over. “Need a condom.” Alex didn’t have one. Hunter came to a stop as quickly as Alex had, and he planted his forehead between Alex’s shoulder blades. “Shit.” Sharp exhales from the man hit the back of Alex’s ear and rustled his hair. “I have it.” A moment later, Hunter reared up and rubbed a warm square of plastic across the small of Alex’s back, letting him feel the wrapping. Simultaneously, as the soft tear of the packet rent through the air, Alex whispered—something shockingly honest, rare, and raw for him—“Put it on now and fuck the hell out of me.” The word “me” had not even fully passed Alex’s lips before Hunter put a punishing grip on Alex’s hips, ripped through his hole, and plowed his cock straight into Alex’s ass. Alex cried out as fire tore through his passage, the penetration so much thicker and longer than the fingers that had prepared him for this act. Oh God Almighty. Every inch of Alex’s channel contracted and released in crazy spasms around the big cock pushing into him even deeper, demanding complete compliance. Alex’s rectum alternately pulled and tried to expel Hunter from his body. Hunter shouted, the sound stripped bare, almost as if full of pain. He didn’t stop or even slow for one second, though. Hunter scratched his way up Alex’s back again, dug into his shoulders deep enough for his nails to break skin, and pinned Alex to the table. Hunter yanked his dick all the way out and then plunged back in to the root, taking Alex’s ass with a second, third, and fourth full stroke in rapid order, fucking the hell out of Alex, just as he’d asked. As Alex lay there taking a rough fucking, the thought that this mating screamed of everything Alex had always imagined the most awful and most terrifying about being gay—accidentally coming across a bigger, stronger man who would use far too much aggression, or even abuse his partner during sex—seared into his brain. Nothing about another person holding him down and taking full control sexually appealed to Alex’s personality, and his instincts silently shouted at him to shove Hunter off and regain his place of power. Only, right on top of that silent rejection of this act, a second voice whispered within Alex too, soft but somehow overpowering. It told him to release and fall into this moment rather than automatically battling some theoretical ideal about the rights and wrongs of sex that existed only in his mind. Live in this moment. With Hunter. Listen to him too.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

83

On the next rough thrust from Hunter, Alex deliberately sank back into it. He reveled rather than fought the feel of Hunter’s cock taking over his ass, and a deep, guttural moan escaped. Surrender. Suddenly Alex could hear the unspoken desperation in the way Hunter clawed at his back, tearing him up, and in the way he grunted Alex’s name each time he slammed their bodies together repeatedly, briefly making them one being. Bone-deep licks of pleasure started flicking up and down Alex’s anal walls, and the lines quickly fanned out to surround his nuts and dance into his prick, flooding his shaft with blood again. Oh hell. Hunter brutally shoved into Alex’s ass again, but this time Alex not only accepted it willingly, he gloried in Hunter claiming his body. Yes. Alex clamped his hands around the edge of the table and pushed against Hunter’s weight until he managed to get his arms straight. His spine still sloped inward, and Hunter still pushed his chest into Alex’s back, limiting his movement, but Alex had his head out of hiding, and he could maneuver his body a bit more. This time when Hunter drove his dick through Alex’s begging asshole and took his chute, Alex punched his ass back into the drill of Hunter’s cock to take the mating with even more force. Both men shouted, the low, rough noise mixing in the humid, still air. “Hunt… Oh God, Hunt.” Alex stuck his tail end out to meet the deep, hot thrust of Hunter’s penis again. “You’re fucking me so damn good.” Hunter growled, folded over Alex, and sank his teeth into Alex’s flesh again. The sharp, fiery burn of skin tearing at his nape barely registered in Alex’s brain. Too fast, Hunter licked up Alex’s neck and into his ear. “You like this?” Rust and grit coated every word Hunter spoke. He thrust his tongue inside Alex’s ear in the same rhythm he did his dick in Alex’s ass. “You want more?” Hunter sawed every damn inch of his cock into Hunter’s tunnel, and then ground his fur against Alex’s ultrasensitized hole. The tenderness in Alex’s rectum ratcheted up to full-on flaming discomfort, but too much electricity charged the bubble of air around him and Hunter to stop. The tangled need infected Alex’s very soul. His body took over and screamed it wanted more, faster, deeper, with this man. Alex reached back, grabbed Hunter’s ungloved hand, and dragged it to his cock. “Feel me.” He forced the scarred fingers and palm around his shaft, moaning as he guided Hunter up and down his rigid, straining length. “You’re making me hard again.” Hunter tried to yank his hand away, but Alex kept his hand on top of Hunter’s, twining his fingers between Hunter’s two digits and thumb. “Don’t pull away. Please…” Alex moved Hunter’s hand back and forth again and whimpered when Hunter tentatively took over the task. Oh fuck, yes. Alex let go and grabbed onto the table edge again, making himself an immovable object for Hunter to dominate. “Jerk me off and fuck me.” Hunter thrust his considerable thickness into Alex’s ass again, and this time worked his scar-covered hand in a twisting motion all over Alex’s penis. Alex’s balls

84

Cameron Dane

immediately swelled and then tightened, and his chute clamped in a vise around Hunter’s embedded dick. “Ohhhh shit.” Alex moaned deeper and rawer than the most skilled prostitute. As Hunter took him to the hilt and yanked him one more time, Alex gritted his teeth and shook his head, letting beads of sweat fly while trying to focus through nearly unfathomable pleasure. He caught a hint of his reflection in a chrome napkin dispenser hanging off the side of a cabinet, and the lust-filled, almost druggedlooking eyes staring back at him jerked him to a stop. My eyes. Because of what is happening to me. “Hunt…Hunt.” Alex shoved his hand down and covered Hunter’s again, this time to halt the mind-blowingly wonderful rub and tug over his cock. “Too much.” He pushed his back into Hunter’s chest, but the motion only tucked the man’s dick deeper into Alex’s ass. In addition to that, the solid feel of that body behind him— even clothed—only dragged another tremble out of Alex. “Please…” Alex panted, out of control. “Too good. I can’t take it.” Hunter breathed heavily at Alex’s ear. “Let it go.” He rocked his hips ever so slightly and grazed his buried cock over Alex’s sweet spot with concentrated rapid pulses. Every time Hunter jerked Alex’s cock and nudged against his prostate, it shoved Alex closer to the unknown abyss. “Can’t…” He released a ragged sound, and his arms trembled so much they barely held him up anymore. “Not without you.” “You can.” Hunter licked up the back of Alex’s neck and put his mouth right behind his ear. He said, “Come for me, Alex,” and then licked into Alex’s hair, rubbing his cheek, nose, and forehead into the locks. Their gazes met in that blurry rectangle of chrome. Brown locked on Alex’s green, and Hunter roughly added, “Now.” Hunter sank his cock deep into Alex’s ass for good measure, right as Alex reared up and howled. Every muscle in his body contracted as tight as they’d ever gone, locking him rigidly still for a heartbeat in time. Then everything let go at the exact same moment, and Alex’s release rocked through him with a second hoarse shout. Alex held on to Hunter, who held on to Alex’s dick, and Alex watched himself shoot line after line of thick, milky cum onto the table. The substance landed on his blueprints, smearing the ink, but Alex was powerless to stop the gushing flow. Alex’s body shook with every spurt of semen he dumped, the depth of which rattled his bones. He clutched at Hunter’s hand as spasms wreaked havoc in his abused ass, each incredible squeeze reminding him of that wonderful, big cock still tucked inside his body. Alex found his way back to his and Hunter’s reflections. The twist of Hunter’s hard lips and the stark lines pulling at his face telegraphed the extreme willpower the man displayed not to lose his shit. Alex rubbed his fingers over the back of Hunter’s hand, tracing the wicked road map of scars. “Give it up for me too.” Alex

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

85

clenched every muscle in or near his ass and hoped like hell he suffocated Hunter’s cock with insurmountable joy. “I need to feel you come.” In a shot, Hunter’s gaze darkened past pitch. He ripped his hand across Alex’s stomach and around his side, scraping and peeling back skin along the way. In rapid succession, Hunter reared upright, pulled his dick out of Alex’s ass, and yanked the condom off his shaft. He jerked his length, the tip jamming into Alex’s left buttock, and his face somehow grew darker and more forbidding. “Say it again.” Tilted forward, he worked his cock over with tremendous speed. “Say my name.” The request cracked Alex’s heart. “Hunter Tennison.” His voice might have been grittier than Hunter’s just then. Alex looked over his shoulder and found the man’s direct stare. “The person I want in my bed.” Hunter opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His body convulsed, and he planted his gauze-covered hand into Alex’s back, maybe to help keep him standing. A second later, those fingers dug straight into skin. Hunter’s eyelids fluttered, and the first hot jet of spunk landed on Alex’s ass. Oh hell. Alex slumped to his elbows as the second, third, and fourth line of seed coated his buttocks, marking this mating on his flesh. Yes. Wasted and exhausted through and through, Alex didn’t need anything else. This is perfect. The site of his cum dripping down Alex’s ass cheeks spurred darker, rawer, more aggressive desires within Hunter, ones that told him to get this man to a bed, tie him down, and take him again and again, not stopping until he’d broken Alex for anyone else. Thoughts of lashing his belt across Alex’s perfect ass until the pale skin turned bright red with blood invaded, making Hunter growl with anticipation. His cock immediately began pushing to get hard again. I fucking have to take him again right now any way I can. His heartbeat pounding loud enough to deafen his hearing, Hunter wrapped his arm around Alex’s waist and started dragging him toward the bed he could see beyond a narrow opening at the end of the trailer. Alex said something, but the meaning of his words didn’t penetrate Hunter’s ears—Hunter could only focus on the dozens of ways he planned to mark this man inside and out, and in ways he would never be able to erase. If he thinks coming on his ass is enough for me, he’s gonna learn the real definition of branding by the time I’m through with him. More adrenaline pumped through Hunter’s body, quickly pushing his dick to nearly half-staff. He made it to the bedroom and shoved Alex face-first onto the bed, his body raging to take this night into round two. Hunter hit the bed on his knees, and the sight of Alex’s pert ass, so ready for another fucking, spurred Hunter forward. He shoved Alex’s legs wide apart, and then smacked the man’s buttocks— wanting them blistered and bloody. Alex shouted again, and this time the words “Slow the fuck down” reached Hunter’s brain and translated into Let me go!

86

Cameron Dane

Hunter jerked and flew off the bed. Blinking and blinking and blinking, he cleared the first wave of desire-filled fog from his eyes. Hunter absorbed the sight before him, and his heart stopped. Jesus Christ and everything holy. Bloody line after bloody line crisscrossed up and down and across Alex’s back, and his hips and outer thighs already burned with deep red coloring, indicating bruises would eventually come. Alex also had a half-dozen bite marks dotted with beads of blood littered across his shoulders. And that didn’t even take into account the wide circle of shiny pink surrounding Alex’s asshole, the ring now hidden between his cheeks again, indicating just how aggressively Hunter had fucked this man. Good God. What have I done? Then Hunter remembered what he’d wanted to keep doing just a moment ago—things much worse and more violent than this. Bile rose in Hunter’s throat, nearly gagging him before he swallowed the bitter acid back down. Swells of panic at the many ways he would have hurt Alex if the man hadn’t stopped him surged in Hunter, making him want to throw up again. The volcano of bad, destructive, outof-control feelings—part of what he’d let loose here already—gurgled inside Hunter’s chest and belly, threatening to erupt. No. Please no. Hunter yanked his jeans up, desperate to get away. He could barely look at Alex’s damaged backside without wanting to slam his own head into the wall until his skull cracked. Meeting Alex’s dewy grass gaze triggered an ultra-accelerated, sweat-inducing heartbeat that only fueled the awakened volcano inside Hunter. Alex shifted to his knees. “Hunter…” He leaned forward and reached out a hand. “No.” Hunter staggered backward, putting up the break signs as he did. “I’m so sorry for what I did to you.” The first spits of lava exploded inside Hunter, burning his throat so much it stole most of his voice. “I have to go.” Hunter tore out of the trailer with such speed he tripped on the way down the steps and careened into the side of his truck, slamming his shoulder and arm into the passenger side door. All his nerve endings in the area immediately went funny and tingly, bringing to life that strange sensation that came with bumping an elbow. The brief shot of pain didn’t yet do nearly enough to smother the bonfire threatening to burn him alive. Hunter stumbled around the truck and climbed in behind the wheel, desperate to get far away from this place before the ugliness took him over and he hurt Alex again. Hunter dug into his pocket for his keys, as well as the security of his pocketknife, and came across nothing but worn fabric. Shit. The condom. He’d been so frantic to fuck Alex that when he pulled the rubber out he must have dumped everything else onto the floor. Thick bubbles of lava shoved their way into more corners of Hunter’s body, pushing at his very sanity. If he couldn’t ice the bad stuff soon, it would leak right out of him and he would self-destruct. Knowing he couldn’t go back into that trailer and face Alex while looking and feeling so disgusting and ugly all over, Hunter dived for the glove box and then cursed when he opened it and none of his razors or box cutters were inside. Fuck. He’d been too cocky, so sure he could handle himself

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

87

with Alex, and now he sat here feeling like he needed to not only cut into his skin, but to rip out his brain or his heart. Anything so I don’t have to think or feel like I’m crazy anymore. Scanning his truck, Hunter spotted the cigarette lighter, and the first inkling of breathable air crept back into the vehicle. He jammed the knob in, but as soon as he did, pictures of Alex’s scratched and bitten back consumed his mind once more. Terror that he could have seriously hurt that man pushed hot tears behind Hunter’s eyes. Another gurgling of panic rose to the surface within. He clawed his shirt open and scratched across his stomach with deep, pointed swipes, scraping over old scars and burns. Hunter broke skin, creating concentrated starbursts of pain in his flesh. The scratches helped to create tiny pinpricks of bright white dots within the mass of black raging inside him, but not nearly enough to chase away the oncoming, charging darkness. Hunter grabbed for the lighter, sensing he only had seconds before losing his shit, and jammed the bright, blazing hot coil straight onto his chest. Ahh! Terrible, all-consuming fire ripped through Hunter’s flesh, the likes of which immediately rushed everything but fighting and overcoming that debilitating, consuming shot of fiery pain from his mind. Hunter blew quick, repeated pants through clenched teeth and focused entirely on outlasting the scorching, white-hot damage he did to himself without screaming or even making a sound. The acrid odor of burning flesh tickled his nasal cavity, but Hunter had put a lighter to his body enough times that it didn’t make him gag anymore. Within seconds, the unbearable pain sucked every bit of Hunter’s concentration into dealing with only the burn he inflicted on himself. He focused every bit of his will on that pain and eventually pushed the dark, ugly, overwhelming violence back into the background where it needed to stay. So close. So close. In his mind, Hunter tried to envision himself running in a faster and faster sprint, leaving the ball of blackness that chased him in the dust. Good. Good. Good. Hunter’s muscles finally went lax. His hand fell to his side, the lighter now dangling between two fingers. A sigh escaped, the sound filling the cab of the truck, and Hunter’s heart rate began to return to normal. He punched the lighter back into its slot, then leaned across the seat to search for some ointment in the glove compartment, when the very distinct shape of a human shadow cutting across his truck sank Hunter’s heart into his stomach and made him want to vomit all over again. Oh Christ. Hunter didn’t have to look; he didn’t dare glance up. If he had to witness the horror and disdain in Alex’s eyes, he might not make it through the night. Son of a bitch. Hunter’s shirt hung open, and enough light poured into the truck to not only see the burn he’d just inflicted on himself, but the countless other scars he’d etched into his flesh too. Hunter forewent the burn cream and moved back behind the wheel, clutching it for dear life, and stared straight forward. Alex reached through the open passenger window; Hunter could see him with his peripheral vision. His hand full, Alex said, “I knew you’d forgotten your glove.

88

Cameron Dane

Then I noticed your keys and pocketknife on the floor too.” Alex cleared his throat, and it sounded like nothing so much as pity, judgment, and disgust to Hunter’s ears. “I wanted to bring them to you.” Ridiculous, throbbing fire still burned through Hunter’s chest from the untended lighter burn, radiating in a wide circle. The acute pain diverted his focus just enough that he didn’t crack right there in front of the man he’d just fucked, scratched, spanked, and bit—and had very nearly moved into a night of sexual and physical brutalization. Hunter could see Alex’s wonderful, perfect hand still clutching his things, but he couldn’t bear to look Alex in the eyes. Not after what Alex had just seen Hunter do to himself. Finding a rough scrap of voice, Hunter said, “You can drop the stuff on the seat.” The second the keys hit the battered fabric, Hunter swiped them up and gunned the truck to life. He shifted into drive, whispered, “I’m so sorry I hurt you,” and peeled down the dirt road, the image of Alex’s messed-up back plastered on his windshield as if it were a giant movie screen. A replay of how aggressively he’d thrown Alex on the bed and torn his legs apart to get at his ass again—mere minutes after he’d taken the man so hard he would likely walk funny for a week— riled the bile in Hunter’s stomach once more. When Hunter remembered how aroused he’d gotten at the thought of lashing a strip of leather across Alex’s lovely skin, he veered his truck to the side of the road and puked his guts out through the open window. His mouth tasted rancid in the aftermath, but it didn’t compare to the sickness still eating away inside of him. Hunter sat in his truck on the side of the road trembling, confused, and terrified. He didn’t know who he was anymore. He didn’t care if other people enjoyed violence in their sex; he didn’t. At least he never had as a man in his late teens and early twenties. Hell, he hadn’t even topped much. He’d always gotten hard at the feel of a man covering him with his solid, warm weight, sinking inside him, and taking his body to great heights of pleasure. Now Hunter only thought and dreamed about owning and dominating another man, taking as much as he wanted, even if he had to tie the man down to do it. Like what I almost did with Alex just now. Hunter could only imagine how far that session could have gone—the things he might have done—if the sharpness in Alex’s voice hadn’t snapped him out of the moment and back into reality. Pictures of Alex bloody from top to bottom roared to life in Hunter’s brain—much as they did in Hunter’s worst nightmares. Violence I convinced myself I could keep in my dreams. Hunter retched again, violently throwing up bitter bile. Hunter had experienced an increase in these fantasies since coming home from Iraq, but he’d never let himself get so consumed by a man that he’d ever come close to acting on them. Alex pushed at those walls Hunter had so successfully erected in the last year. Alex got under Hunter’s skin. Hunter had also not thought about so much, respected so much, or come to care about another man so much as he had Alexander Quick in these last few months. For that reason, Alex became the most

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

89

dangerous person in Hunter’s world. If Hunter had any hope of surviving, he had to stay far, far away from the man. He could never risk losing his control with Alex again. Even if Hunter had to leave town to make it happen.

*** Holy fuck. Goddamn. Motherfucking son of a bitch. As Alex paced the narrow walk space in his trailer with careful steps, he kept mentally cycling through every curse word and phrase he knew. He had to, because for the life of him, he did not know what else to say as he tried to process what he’d just witnessed. He’d watched Hunter put a lighter to his chest and burn a hole into his flesh. And for one of the extremely few times in his life, Alex had been shocked into complete silence. His heart and head had immediately screamed Stop him! but then he’d looked at Hunter’s face and the words remained unspoken, trapped in his throat. He couldn’t exactly describe Hunter’s expression as one of pleasure, but rather one of acute focus with a hint of joy mixed in. Alex likened it to catching a glimpse of himself in a mirror during a private prep for a meeting that could change the course of his company—a combination of focused nerves, determination, and then the confidence in his intelligence and skills that he would go into the boardroom and achieve success. Hunter had been completely inside himself while inflicting that burn on his body. Alex had not been able to make his legs move to walk away, even though he’d sensed he was intruding on an utterly private moment. Still, Alex couldn’t stop his brain from racing with speculation. Does he suffer from PTSD, maybe? Or was Alex completely ignorant or possibly even arrogant to assume this act had something to do with Hunter’s time in the military? Alex didn’t have a medical degree; he had no right to sit here and diagnose the man. But he did just fuck you—with every intention of doing it again. And God, that brief, harsh mating had somehow shot to the top of Alex’s list as the most intimate, personal sexual act he’d ever known. It didn’t matter that they had barely spoken or looked at each other. Alex had felt the urgency in each thrust of Hunter’s cock. He’d sensed the desperation for connection in every scratch and bite Hunter put on his flesh. Standing in front of the mirrored bathroom door, Alex pulled down his jeans, wincing as the fabric abraded his flanks. Make that smacks too. Misshapen circles of reddened skin covered his hips, buttocks, and part of his outer thighs. Angling the door allowed the reflection of the mirror over the tiny bathroom sink to reflect back against the door, letting Alex see the narrow lines of blood drying across his back, as well as the circles of tiny cuts showing where Hunter had repeatedly bitten him. Alex had some scrapes across his belly too. And that doesn’t even take into account how tender my ass is and how much it’s throbbing right now. Strangely, categorizing the physical results of what had happened tonight brought a secret smile to Alex’s lips. He welcomed the soreness. All of it. It felt…right. As much as Alex didn’t understand it, it felt like Hunter had given Alex

90

Cameron Dane

some of his pain tonight—pain Alex didn’t understand but still somehow made his chest ache with the need to help Hunter carry it. As much as Alex studied his injuries right now, his weren’t the only ones at the party this evening. In touching Hunter’s damaged hand tonight, Alex now suspected Hunter had suffered some burns in addition to losing his pinkie and ring finger. Beyond that, though, Alex had seen dozens more fading cuts and burns on the man’s chest and stomach when he’d run outside to return his things. Tonight was not the first time Hunter had put a hot lighter to his skin. Self-injuring then? Alex remembered reading about that back in high school but hadn’t heard the diagnosis mentioned much since then. If his memory served, the destructive tendency afflicted mostly teenage girls, and only in small numbers. Then again, how many boys would admit to something that made them appear weak? And self-harming didn’t explain the dominance and aggression Hunter had displayed during sex. Something had driven Hunter beyond the absolute control he’d displayed during their mating; Alex had sensed Hunter would have fucked him bloody if Alex hadn’t jerked him out of his trance. No, he wouldn’t have. Alex grimaced as his gut recoiled and rejected that notion. Hunter didn’t have true violence in him. Alex trusted in his ability to read people, and he’d responded to an innate gentleness in the man, even if right now defensiveness, anger, and selfimposed isolation kept the gentler side buried. God. Alex tunneled his fingers through his hair and exhaled. I have the resources to help him. I just have to figure out where to start. Alex needed a shower to help clear his head some more. By the time he toweled off, he would have a plan. Just as Alex pushed his jeans the rest of the way off his body and stepped out of them, his cell phone vibrated with life and bounced across the floor. He recognized Mack’s unlisted number and put the phone to his ear with a smile. “How’s it going, old man?” “Alex?” The second Mack said Alex’s name instead of responding with “punk,” Alex went wobbly. “What is it, Mack?” Alex’s voice slipped to a rasp, and he grabbed the counter for support. “Are you all right?” “Can you come home soon?” A terrifying, unaccustomed tremble filled Mack’s usually deep, strong tone. “I can’t remember when you’re supposed to come home again.” Alex already had a flight booked for the middle of next week. “I’ll be on the first plane in the morning, old man.” Trapping the phone between his ear and shoulder, Alex searched his wallet for a business card he’d recently acquired from a privately owned airport in Bozeman. “I’ll see you soon.” “Okay.” Mack sounded more like a frightened child than the tough, strong man Alex knew him to be, and it fizzed panic straight into Alex’s heart. “Don’t forget I love you,” Mack added, his voice horrifyingly weak.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

91

“I never do, Mack.” Alex couldn’t swallow past the lump in his throat. “I love you too.” “Okay. Bye.” “Bye.” His heart crushing much too hard against his chest, Alex first made a call to Helen. He begged her to go check on Mack and please sit with him for the night. He then called the airline out of Bozeman, told the owner he would be there very soon, and to prepare whatever plane in their fleet was necessary to get him to Atlanta in one shot. Alex then hopped into the shower, all the while unable to fight the hot tears mixed in with the cold water. Mack never made phone calls like the one Alex had just taken. Never. As Alex threw some clothes into a bag, he assessed he would take care of all information pertaining to work during the flight. Nothing mattered more than getting to Mack. Hunter would have to wait.

92

Cameron Dane

Chapter Seven Still shaken by his behavior with Alex the night before, Hunter climbed out of his truck at Forrest-Hawk the next morning uncertain of his plan of action. Every time Hunter had closed his eyes last night, nightmares had attacked, mixing in more visions of Alex beaten and bloody at his hands with memories of dead soldiers strewn in a dozen pieces across the white-hot desert sand. Hunter would jerk awake time and again in the darkness, sweating, while still seeing Alex as one of those dead men. After giving up on sleep at four thirty in the morning, Hunter had gotten up, showered, and picked at breakfast. While driving to work early, he made the decision to tender his resignation at Forrest-Hawk. Hunter’s chest ached at the thought of leaving Cain, Luke, and their horses after such a short time in their employ. He had to get out of town, though, and he knew it. Hunter couldn’t yet let himself think too deeply about telling his sister goodbye. She deserved a better brother who could give her the family reunion she so craved. He couldn’t let another episode like last night happen again, though. Hunter feared if he stayed too close to Alex, he would continue to mix up the attraction he felt for the man with the violence still living inside him, and he would do something in the heat of passion he could never take back. Hunter couldn’t forget what Alex had seen him do with the lighter either. Shame still churned in his gut, but he would have found a way to live with it if not for what had happened in the trailer. Beyond what Hunter had done was what he’d wanted and planned to do for an encore. Christ. Hunter shuddered. I shouldn’t be around civilians anymore. It’s not safe. As Hunter passed the red stable, reserved for the horses yet to be gentled, he heard Cain say, “I don’t know. I don’t understand it.” Then Luke responded, “He looks so terrified. It’s breaking my heart.” Hunter entered the barn in time to see Cain slip his arm around Luke’s waist, peck a kiss to the man’s temple, and whisper, “I know, darlin’.” Hunter had quickly gotten used to the open intimacy between his bosses. He both envied and admired how attuned they were to each other and the fearless way they openly lived as a couple. Before joining the military, Hunter had a narrow view of Quinten’s ability to accept homosexuality and less traditional pairings. His ability to project a vision for the future of this town had not come even close to what existed now. Once in the army, Hunter had trusted very few people with such personal information as his sexuality, even though he’d implicitly trusted every

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

93

soldier he’d served alongside with his life. They’d trusted him with theirs too. In war strange dichotomies such as that existed everywhere. They existed to keep everyone in the unit alive. When Hunter joined Cain and Luke at the far end of the barn, their disheveled state became apparent. A few feet beyond them, the door to a little bedroom remained ajar, and Hunter could see an unmade bed. “What’s going on?” Hunter asked, keeping his voice low. Cain made eye contact with Hunter over Luke’s head. “You’re early.” “I couldn’t sleep.” Hunter shrugged. “I figured I might as well be productive.” A chill hung heavy in the air, weighing on Hunter’s shoulders. Something deeper and more intimate hovered too. The strange sensation smothered Hunter’s intention to share the news of his resignation right away. Rubbing his arms to ward off the cold—a dip in the temperature Hunter hadn’t experienced on his drive to work—Hunter followed Luke’s locked stare and gasped. Hercules rubbed his golden blond shoulder against the back end of the largest stall on this property—one used for Forrest-Hawk’s newest, most wild arrivals. His eyes held a wildness Hunter hadn’t even noticed in him the day of his interview, let alone in the time since then. In fact, when Hunter had left the property yesterday afternoon, the horse had been in his stall in the blue stable, one reserved for horses in transition from untamed to prepared for Forrest-Hawk’s clients use. “What happened?” Hunter asked, his voice hushed. Cain scrubbed his hands through his chestnut-colored hair, tufting the mussed locks even more. “We don’t exactly know. We’ve been out here all night. Something has Hercules spooked. He’s regressed all the way back to when he first came to us. Further, in fact. He won’t even let us near him.” “But he was fine yesterday.” Hunter kept his voice soft as he studied the huge animal hovering near the back of his stall like a whipped dog. His obvious fear saturated the air, and Hunter just wanted to climb into the stall and rub him down with a promise that everything would be okay. “I don’t understand.” “That’s what we keep saying,” Luke replied. “I came out to check on the animals early last evening and found him trying to force his way out of his stall. We had to tranq him so the vet could get close enough to examine him. While he was out, we moved him here.” “The vet says he seems fine physically,” Cain added. “The results of samples she took for some other tests will start to trickle in tomorrow.” Hunter watched the horse move forward two steps, then back, then forward, pawing at the bedding under his hooves every time he stopped. “He doesn’t have anything wedged under his shoes or buried in his skin somewhere that is agitating him?” “No.” Cain shook his head. “Once we had him down last night we checked everything. He’s clean.”

94

Cameron Dane

“What about parasites?” Hunter felt idiotic asking such obvious questions of two men who knew more about horses than anyone he’d ever met, but every discomforted move or noise Hercules made prompted Hunter to investigate. “Could he have picked up an illness that manifests itself like this? Maybe something got into his food?” “We checked his feed as a precaution,” Cain answered. “It’s fine. And between Luke and me, we know just about every symptom or sign of any parasite or disease a horse can attract, and Hercules isn’t showing any of them. For some reason”— rubbing his bloodshot eyes, Cain moved to a stool tucked by the office door and took a seat—“he has regressed back to wild.” Hunter watched Luke go to his partner and situate himself as a back for the stool. Cain immediately leaned into Luke’s thighs and belly and reached back for his hand. Cain pulled Luke’s palm to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the center. Hunter turned away, letting them have their moment of intimacy. He didn’t move closer to Hercules but did study the animal that had finally stilled. “Do you think you can train him again?” “We hope so,” Luke said. “He has to let us touch him first in order to do it. We’re not going to force him into submission.” Hunter’s heart suddenly sputtered. He spun to Cain and Luke. “What if he doesn’t take to people and training again? If you can’t use him in your program, will you sell him?” “God, no,” Cain replied. He pushed his spine straight and sat up tall. “We could never do that. We’ll exhaust every avenue toward getting him well first, but I don’t have any intention of selling him if he doesn’t progress right away.” “He’s a good horse.” Hunter started breathing again. He wished he could go into the stall and scratch Hercules behind the ears, just how the animal liked it. “I’m happy to hear you won’t get rid of him.” Luke joined Hunter, where they stood shoulder to shoulder a good four feet back from Hercules’s stall. “I think he’s gonna come out of it,” Luke shared. “He has strength in his eyes. I’ve seen it.” “I have too. Listen”—from his side vision, Hunter caught Cain slumping against the wall—“why don’t you guys go get a couple of hours of sleep? You’re both clearly exhausted. I’ll keep an eye on Hercules and get started on bucketing the feed for the other horses. I’ll call you if I see any change in his behavior.” He nodded, trying to prompt. “Okay?” Cain righted himself and even stood. “Thanks, but I don’t think I could sleep, and—” Luke stepped in front of his man and slapped a hand over his mouth. “Hawk, we hired an extra hand for a reason. Let me at least get you under a shower because, honey, you do not smell very good.” After prying Luke’s hand away, Cain grumbled and said, “You smell like shit too, darlin’.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

95

“That’s why I plan to get in the shower with you.” Luke’s smile turned his appearance to a sexy that should be illegal. The kiss he planted on Cain’s cheek softened every exhausted line in Cain’s face and clearly turned the man into Luke’s slave. “Let Hunter handle this,” Luke pressed gently. “He knows about all the different feed. He hasn’t made a mistake yet with the horses in the other stables. Let him handle this just for today. It’s just one morning.” He twined both of his hands in Cain’s and pulled them chest to chest. “We will be back in charge of caring for our newest babies tomorrow.” It appeared as if Cain’s ocean gaze fed on Luke. “This is why I love you so much.” He tenderly cupped his palm to Luke’s face and pressed their foreheads together. His voice dropped to almost nonexistent, but Hunter heard him whisper, “You take care of me in a way I never imagined possible. I sometimes still can’t believe you’re mine.” Luke turned his head and kissed Cain’s hand. “That’s the best part of why I love you too, Hawk.” He then hooked two fingers in Cain’s belt and pulled, his stormy eyes shot with twinkling silver. “But if you’d let me get you back to the cabin, I could remind you how great some of the others are too.” With a quick-change switch of positions, Cain now tugged Luke toward the open doors. “Let’s go.” Cast into shadows by the light behind them, Cain stopped for just a moment and said, “Thank you, Hunter. Please let us know if you notice a change in Hercules.” “Will do.” Unable to hide his grin or chuckle, Hunter waved. “I’ll see you later.” Cain dragged Luke out of the stable and into the first twinkles of morning light, their hands tangled as if they’d held each other forever. As they disappeared from sight, Hunter turned his attention back to the palomino tucked into the farthest corner of the stall. His smile slipping away, Hunter took one step closer, and the horse immediately shied and whinnied. His black eyes rolled, and he pushed his shoulder into the back of the stall. Definitely not ready yet. “It’s okay, Herc.” Hunter took a step away from the animal. “You don’t have to be scared. I’m not getting any closer.” Hunter went about his business and prepared the first three buckets of feed. When passing Hercules’s stall, he didn’t give any appearance of looking at the horse. It seemed to help. By the time he walked past a third time, Hercules had moved a few inches off the back of the stall. He also stopped breathing heavily, and so Hunter no longer believed he would hurt himself. “That’s it, boy.” Hunter spoke under his breath. “I’m not watching. Take as much time as you need.” Hunter slipped into the feed room to prepare breakfast for the next three horses. So much for giving my resignation. Hunter couldn’t help his thoughts slipping back to Alex, even though he now had less of a plan for what to do than he had before walking into this barn. He didn’t know how the hell to deal with the destructive emotions Alex provoked in him, but he knew he couldn’t leave Cain and

96

Cameron Dane

Luke high and dry right now. For the moment at least, Hunter would remain in Quinten. As for what would happen with Alex when he saw the man again… Stop it. Hunter’s cock swelled against his jeans right where he stood. The violent acts Hunter pictured himself doing with—to—Alex upon their next meeting broke out a line of sweat down his back, kicked up his heartbeat, and had him praying the next time they came into contact he could exhibit better control. Please. I don’t want to hurt him. Hunter offered his plea up to the heavens, hoping something divine out there existed and would answer.

*** Many hours later, the sun set behind an exhausted Hunter. He pushed open the red barn doors and slipped in to see Hercules one more time before heading home. Surprised to find the stable empty of people, Hunter moved to the back with slow, easy steps, pausing when he came to Hercules’s stall. The horse remained near the back wall but didn’t ride up against it as he’d done this morning. Hunter took a small, careful step forward. Hercules pricked his ears, but he didn’t balk. Another step yielded the same result. On the third Hercules kicked up his front quarters and brayed a high, awful noise. Wincing, silently cursing himself, Hunter gave back the space he’d just taken. “Okay, okay.” He put his hands low at his sides. “So this is your threshold right now.” He drew a line in the floor covering across the entire length of the stall, ending by the wall. “Is that right? Am I okay here, Herc?” Hunter leaned his shoulder against the wall while keeping an eye on the animal on the other side of the bars. It took a good five minutes, but when Hunter didn’t move a muscle from his position, Hercules finally settled—albeit hovered against the back of the stall once more. Hunter sighed softly in the shadowed corner. The horse’s ear turned, making Hunter even more aware of how attuned Herc was to every nuance in his environment. “I just want to figure out what’s eating at you, buddy,” Hunter shared. He knew folks who’d never spent time with animals would think him crazy, but he swore Hercules watched him and understood every word he spoke. “Cain and Luke want you to get better too. Those guys love you. They are your wingmen. They are your backup in an ambush. They are the best friends you’ll ever have. I don’t know if you have any idea how lucky you are that you ended up at this place, but let me tell you, things could have ended a whole lot different for you.” Mentally Hunter slipped back to one of the worst days of his life. He closed his eyes and his throat got thick. Swallowing through the bad times, Hunter blinked and settled his focus back on Hercules. “I know what it feels like to be on the verge of becoming glue. I know what it’s like to have a Cain and Luke save you. My Forrest-Hawk was a guy named Will.” Just in thinking of the day Will had become a true friend, Hunter smiled, unable to hold it back. “Now there was a southern boy

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

97

who’d never been around an animal in his life. Yet he instinctively knew how to save a wounded one—me. You want to hear about Will?” Hunter asked, his chest beginning to swell with love and pride. “I’ve never told a soul stateside about him. It’s not right that I keep him a secret, but it hurts too much to talk about him to other people. He deserves all the honors and medals that exist in the world.”

*** Hunter trudged into the showers with the other guys in his unit, carrying five days’ worth of caked-on sweat, blood, and grime, as well as sand scratching in every nook and cranny on his body. On most days the luxury of getting into a shower after being away from camp on a weeklong mission with just MREs and your wits to keep you alive brought sighs mixed with hoots and hollers once that first spray of water hit your back and trickled down your skin. Today wasn’t most days, though. Today they hadn’t brought every man back safe and in one piece. They had two of their men in surgery right this second, hanging on for dear life. Their third man… Christ. The men in this company had zipped him into a body bag themselves just minutes ago. Trey. Exhaling through the tightness in his throat, Hunter tipped his face up into the water just in case he couldn’t hold back the tears drilling him inside. Intellectually he knew the other guys wouldn’t care. Hell, he could see a few of them doing the same, but nobody wanted to know his brothers-in-arms couldn’t keep their shit together in a war zone. Fuck, Hunter had only known Trey for four months, but in some cases time didn’t matter. They’d joined this unit at the same time, both of them seasoned as hell from a previous tour, and had immediately gained a rapport and trust. Even though Trey had grown up in New York, they had come from similar backgrounds of hardworking single mothers and both had a little sister. For Hunter, the fact that they were the same age—twenty-six—while so many of their fellow soldiers were nineteen, twenty, and twenty-one, made Trey someone with similar life experience and thus more relatable. They’d immediately bonded, and while some of the men Hunter had served with probably suspected Hunter was gay, Hunter had actually told Trey the truth when the man asked. The guy hadn’t cared. He’d said he would take the secret to the grave with him. And he did. Hunter blew out a careful breath, trying to keep the tremor inside him hidden. After shutting off the shower, he sluiced water off his freshly cleaned skin and moved to a long bench where he’d piled his fresh set of fatigues. Men all along the line dressed in silence. A bomb exploded in the distance, shaking the temporary structure. For the first time Hunter could remember, nobody even looked up or acknowledged the sound. Not even Will—the new kid who fucking never shut up, who treated everything like a party, and who Hunter knew would get them all killed someday—had a word to say tonight.

98

Cameron Dane

Hunter followed the group to the mess hall, ate dinner in silence, and then declined to join everyone in the rec area to watch a movie. He went back to his bunk, but rather than lay down to get some sleep, he began pacing the empty makeshift barracks. His brain replayed the ambush outside the small Afghan village, the mass of weapon power and hostiles—of which they’d had no intel to predict—coming out of nowhere and pinning them in an abandoned cluster of houses for four days. Shit. Hunter squeezed his eyes shut as the onslaught of loss took him to his knees. Trey had taken the fatal gunshot to the neck early, and Hunter hadn’t even been able to get to him in a house only a hundred feet away. Motherfucking shit. Hunter stared at the bunk across from his and swore he could see Trey’s lanky frame in the shadows, his cappuccino-colored skin shiny with sweat, and his unique pale, pale, pale blue eyes laughing at one of Hunter’s dirty jokes. Trey would always roll his eyes and say, “You’re a sick fuck, Tenny,” and then by the next day tell everyone whose path he crossed the same joke and take total credit for it. Just as Hunter chuckled and shook his head in the darkened, empty space, a soft tap sounded at the door. A woman in scrubs pushed open the door but did not enter. Hunter recognized her as one of the camp doctors. He didn’t have to see her eyes to know the truth; the hunch of her slender shoulders silently spoke sentences that sent spikes through Hunter’s gut. He stumbled to his bunk. “Which one?” he asked, silently praying for a miracle answer he knew he wouldn’t get. “Both.” The full moon cast her face in a shot of light, highlighting just as many invisible battle scars on her face as the men she worked to save every day. When her tour ended, civilians at home wouldn’t see the marks, but any men or women who’d served time in a battle zone would recognize a fellow soldier in a heartbeat. She scratched her head, dislodging a lopsided ponytail in the process. “We couldn’t recover from Private Regan’s massive blood loss,” she shared, “and Master Sergeant Paxon’s heart stopped on the table. We couldn’t get it started again. I’m so sorry.” Hunter nodded, trying his damnedest to absorb the breath-stealing blow. “Thank you for coming to tell me.” She dipped her head and without another word left him alone. Hunter sat in the dark in silence, rehashing every moment he’d had with not only Trey, Regan, and Paxon, but with every other soldier he’d served with who’d lost his life along the way. Stories about neighboring camps and their losses pushed their way into Hunter’s brain too. Each dead soldier mixed in his mind with the many who would continue to come, the death never ending. His core temperature began to rise, making first his blood and organs heat and then his very flesh burn hotter than walking naked in desert sand in August. Fire burned in Hunter’s throat, a wailing scream trapped there, punching for freedom. Everything kept flaming higher inside him, licking over his skin and leaving burned-out brands of every person he’d ever known and lost scorched into his flesh. By the end, not an

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

99

inch of Hunter’s body remained unscathed, and the names and faces tormented his soul. No. No. Hunter pulled at his hair and scowled when the buzzed length didn’t allow him to grip and sting his scalp with pain. No. No. No. Swirling masses of pitch-black storm clouds blurred Hunter’s vision and sank into his pores, clogging every opening in his body. Fuck it, Trey. Hunter swiped across his eyes with a vicious swat, scratching his cheekbone and temple. Why’d you have to be a fucking hero and goddamn die on me? Shooting up from his bunk, Hunter tore through the empty barracks, prowling as his breathing grew more difficult to maintain. He suddenly erupted with a roar and swept mattresses off beds and lights off little tables, sending clothing flying and bulbs shattering across the floor. Hunter didn’t care. He rammed himself full body into the wall, making the makeshift barrier shake under the force of his hit. Tables skidded across the floor under his kicks and shoves. Hunter growled, straining his arms and shoulders as he yanked bunk beds away from the walls one-handed, two at a time, uncaring that splinters sank into his palms. He welcomed the pain and wanted more of it. Hunter picked up a full storage trunk, raised the massive weight over his head, and charged with it toward the far end of the room. He flung it into a corner, and the momentum of the throw slammed him into the wall too. Sharp, immediate pain pierced into Hunter’s shoulder and down his arm, but even seeing spots in front of his eyes didn’t slow him down. He rammed one shoulder and then the other into walls and bunk beds, mindless of anything but Trey and the other men in his unit he would never see again. Hunter blindly swung his body again, but before he hit the wall this time, someone grabbed him from behind and propelled him away from contact. No. Hunter chopped his arms up, trying to break loose of the hold, but his opponent successfully fought off Hunter’s attack. Leave me alone. Hunter struggled against the arms banded around his chest. His original surge of strength now abandoned him, though, while the other man felt as if he had steel fused to his muscles and bones. Hunter battled, but the other man held on through his fight and eventually took him to his knees. Still being held in place from behind, Hunter looked over his shoulder into knowing hazel eyes. Private Will Hicks. For once Hunter couldn’t muster any annoyance for the cocky newcomer. Too many faces of the dead still haunted his vision and consumed his thoughts, bringing on a fresh wave of loss. Hunter looked down at the ground, his body heaving with his efforts to regain control. “I didn’t want to stop.” His broken whisper slipped free through the cracks, overwhelming his command to get himself together. “It didn’t hurt enough yet.” Will released Hunter and then moved to squat in front of him. “I think it hurt too much.” He assessed through an astute, unwavering gaze Hunter didn’t recognize in the smack-talking twenty-year-old. “The doc came and told us about Regan and Paxon. I might be the new guy in the unit, but I could see you and Trey were tight.” His lush, constantly moving lips compressed into a tight line. “I’m sorry he died.”

100

Cameron Dane

“Thank you.” Anguish choked Hunter, so much so he could not hide it, even from this kid. With a nod, Will rubbed his sandy, trimmed hair and then locked his hands behind his neck. “Look.” Twitching, he moved to wipe his hand across his mouth, to then look away, before finally settling a gaze full of determination on Hunter once again. “If you need to mourn losing Trey in a different way than the rest of us—” Hunter exploded like a cannonball and shoved the little prick backward onto his ass. He then pinned Will to the floor with a hand around his throat. “I don’t, for fuck’s sake.” He growled into the private’s face. “It wasn’t like that. Christ. Your mind is on sex every second it isn’t focused on fighting the enemy.” Cursing another litany of foul words, Hunter released Will, snarling at the kid as he pushed himself to lean against the side of a trunk. Looking at the guy sideways, Hunter couldn’t care about hiding any of his secrets right now. “Just because you spend every free second in this camp trying to find a pretty girl who’ll let you stick your dick in her doesn’t mean the rest of us feel the same. Staff Sergeant Patterson was not my lover. He was a brother and a friend.” “Okay. That’s cool.” Will pushed himself to sit upright and then held up the surrender hands. “I’m just saying even if he had been, you could tell me that too.” Hunter’s mouth twisted into a frown. “You’re so fucking hard up to get laid you want details of everyone else’s scoring victories too. Even if it’s with another guy.” A quick smile lit up the private’s face, making him look about fifteen. “You know it.” As fast as the lighthearted, cheeky grin had appeared, it slipped away, leaving behind a sober soldier whose eyes had seen tragedy and death. “Seriously though, I learned something real quick when I landed in this hellhole,” he said, his stare locked on Hunter. “The army doesn’t pay us shit for what we’re doing here, and most folks stateside damn well don’t care about us for more than a minute when they watch the news. They will never know Regan, Paxon, and Patterson’s names, let alone how brave they were in the face of their deaths. But we do get one side benefit out of wearing this uniform.” Will leaped forward and squatted in front of Hunter, his eyes lit up once again like Christmas trees. “We can get any pussy we want when we go back home. Hell”—he openly looked Hunter over—“it isn’t any different for you. You’ll get whatever ass or cock, or whatever the fuck you like, from any dude who thinks you’re halfway sexy. Which you are. Damn, I can dream about titties every night and still see you’re a good-looking guy. You aren’t gonna hurt for tail when you go home, and neither will I.” Pausing, Will studied Hunter with such understanding mixed in with the scrutiny it had Hunter fighting not to weep. “If you think Trey wasn’t jerking off in that bunk every night thinking about the fine women he would have in his bed when his tour ended,” Will said gently, “then you didn’t know the man half as well as you thought you did.” Tears leaked from the corners of Hunter’s eyes, and his chest burned with an unfathomable pain. “He did fantasize about it.” Trey’s voice, coated with that Brooklyn accent, filled Hunter’s ears right now, as it had done so many times in reality since the day they’d met. “He thought about going home to all those girls

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

101

who wouldn’t go out with him in high school, and he imagined how they’d think twice about him when he came back wearing his uniform.” “Hell yes they would have.” Will smacked Hunter’s leg, as if to shout booya and slap a high five. “They would have fallen all over an awesome dude like Trey. The perks to this job are worse than shitty, and out here we only have each other to help keep us sane and alive. But when we go back to the States”—Will whistled—“man, that’s gonna be some good shit. We’ll be fucking heroes, and I look forward to finding every girl in Kentucky who wants to spread her legs to welcome me home and say thank you. You just have to keep your eyes on the prize, Tenny.” The private wore a look akin to a starving man stepping up to an all-you-can-eat buffet. “Close ’em and think about walking into a bar in San Francisco and having your choice of the tightest asses and biggest cocks you want.” Hunter couldn’t believe it, but the cocky little prick tugged a grin out of him. “Not every gay man lives in California,” he shared dryly. “I’m from Montana and plan to go back there after I’ve served my time.” Will shrugged. “So then think about a cowboy or mountain man. The theory still applies. Whatever it takes to survive without going crazy. Hell, we got so many of them gung-ho patriots back home who ain’t never been near a man in uniform, you could probably get a straight guy to bend over for you. Fuck”—he hooted, his eyes gleaming with laughter—“I probably could too, if I wanted to.” “Jesus.” Hunter rolled his eyes. “You really do have a one-track mind.” “It keeps me alive.” Will’s cheekiness slipped away. Once again eyes that had seen too much appeared, making him look a dozen years older than his true age. “I might not look like it, but this isn’t my first tour either, you know. I understand the desire to tear down buildings and punch something until everything stops hurting too.” Hunter nodded, his heart still heavy but no longer crushing him under the weight. “Only you go jerk off and think about screwing hundreds of women when you get home instead of losing your shit.” He met Will’s gaze. “Is that what you’re saying?” With a nod back, Will said, “Right now I’m thinking about that doctor. God, she’s pretty as hell. I bet she’s got stamina and could tear me apart in bed.” “That woman is a captain,” Hunter reminded the private, chuckling. “You are never getting near her bunk.” “It doesn’t matter. I can still dream. That’s what you need to do too. Start dreaming again, Tenny.” Will’s suggestion felt like a gentle order. “You’re letting the army take that away from you. That’ll surely get you killed faster than an enemy bullet. I don’t want to see that happen. We lost enough guys in our unit this week.” His voice held the scratch of a man who kept the loss tucked just under the surface too. “I want to get through the rest of my tour without losing another man.” Listening to this young man, seeing the insight and big heart he kept hidden behind sex talk, pushed a new ache into Hunter’s chest. A good one this time. “You

102

Cameron Dane

have a lot more behind that big mouth of yours than a bunch of loud bullshit.” Holding eye contact, Hunter let Will see into his soul and locked them into a bond he didn’t give many people. “I’m sorry I dismissed you.” “No need.” Will waved the apology aside. “We’re all brothers here. Come on.” He jumped to his feet and held out his hand. “I’ll help you clean this up before the others get back or the commander makes a visit to pay his condolences.” For the first time, Hunter really let himself see the damage he’d done to their living quarters. “Shit.” He stumbled under the wave of heartbreak that had pushed him to such a place, and then silently praised God for the compact, foul-mouthed dynamo who’d found him. “Thank you, Private.” Hunter could never say that enough. “I don’t know what I would have done without you tonight.” “It’s all good.” Will gave Hunter a solid thwack on the back. “I wanted us to be cool with each other because I found something in one of the abandoned houses we were holed up in that I thought you might like.” The guy found his kit in the mess and withdrew two magazines. “Here.” He tossed one of them at Hunter. Hunter snagged it out of the air. One look at it had him shaking his head. “Fucking A.” Faded and crinkled as hell, and it had to be thirty years old if it was a day, the magazine Hunter flipped through held photo after photo of nearly naked “body-building” men. Laughing, Will arched a sandy-colored brow. “Enjoy that, you lucky bastard. At least you don’t have to share it like I’m gonna have to do with this”—he held up a much newer popular lingerie catalog—“once the other guys discover I have it.” “Jesus.” Hunter wondered what military or peacekeeping envoy had traveled through that small Afghan village and left such a thing behind. “Trey would have fought you for that harder than anyone else.” Hunter’s gaze strayed to his friend’s empty bunk, but this time he managed to smile in place of tears. “He once told me seeing women in those little lacy thongs got him hotter than a full-on nudie picture.” Will flipped through the catalog. “Then we’ll hang this one on the wall”—he tore out a page and tacked it beside Trey’s bed—“in honor of him.” Hunter walked up and took a closer look at the glossy picture of a pretty redhead with her arm strategically placed across her breasts, wearing nothing but a little white triangle of panties. “I like that. More importantly”—Hunter stood beside Will—“Trey would love it.” “Good.” With a nod, Will glanced up at Hunter. “You should put some ointment on that”—he fingered Hunter’s cheek, and his digit came away with blood—“or around here it’s gonna get infected.” “Right.” Hunter went into his trunk to search for some antibacterial salve. Will turned on a portable CD player, whispered “yes” when the batteries held, and blared an Eminem song as loud as the little single speaker would allow. He shouted along with the raw lyrics while cleaning up Hunter’s mess as if he were tinkering with his

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

103

car on a sunny afternoon back home in Kentucky. For the first time, not only did the young private’s manner not irritate Hunter, it actually soothed and comforted him. Hell, it gave Hunter hope. Made him think he might just get through this deployment after all.

*** “Hunter.” Something nudged Hunter’s shoulder with decided force. “Hunter,” the voice said again. Jerking away from the contact, Hunter dropped into a crouch and lifted his hands in a defensive pose. His heart rate kicked into fighting gear, but as soon as Hunter blinked, his vision cleared and Luke appeared. Shit. “Sorry.” Heat crept up Hunter’s neck. He immediately released himself from his attack stance. “You snuck up on me.” Cocking his head to the side, Luke adopted a familiar at-ease military stance. “Not really. You were sleeping standing up.” “Damn it.” Turning from left to right, Hunter felt discombobulated. “What time is it?” “Later than you need to be here considering how early you came in,” Luke replied. The warmth made its way up Hunter’s face. “I apologize. You don’t have to pay me for the time.” Luke snorted. “I’m not worried about the money. I’m thinking about you.” “I came in to check on Hercules.” Hunter’s gaze naturally drifted to the horse. The animal had settled, but Hunter didn’t dare press Hercules’s boundaries tonight and rile him up again. “I guess I nodded off,” he admitted, coming back to his darkhaired boss. “And you still look like you’re about to fall over.” Luke stepped closer, and Hunter’s temperature dropped. He was sure the man could see every physical and emotional weakness living inside him. “Why don’t you crash on our couch tonight?” Luke asked. “I don’t want to feel responsible for an accident.” “No.” Hunter stepped back and bumped right into the wall. “I couldn’t impose on the two of you.” “You wouldn’t be cramping our space. Cain and I will be out here with Herc again tonight.” A light clicked on at the end of a panic-filled tunnel. “What if I do that?” Hunter asked. “I’ll sleep out here and keep an eye on him.” Rocking his weight back on his heels, Luke made a clicking noise with his cheek and assessed Hunter from a few feet away. “How about you rotate with us? That way you actually get some sleep too. Then I can make Cain get a few hours of shut-eye in the cabin before camping out here again.” He rubbed his chest, and Hunter imagined the man experienced physical pain due to the worry about his partner. “That would be a big help.”

104

Cameron Dane

Hunter stuck out his gauze-covered hand. “It’s a deal.” They shook on it, and then Luke said, “You can use the shower in the back room there to clean up. Cain and I have some clean clothes in the nightstand too. Between our stuff I think you should be able to find something that fits.” “Thank you.” Hunter dipped his head. “I’ll take first shift.” “Join us for dinner first.” Somersaults picked right back up in Hunter’s belly. “No. I coul—” “Or not,” Luke said before Hunter dug himself into an even more embarrassing hole. “There are some snack foods in the office too. You’re welcome to anything you find in the mini fridge.” “Okay.” Giving Hunter space, Luke backed up to the open doors. “We’ll see you later then.” Hunter nodded. As soon as Luke left, Hunter’s mind slipped right back to Will. As Hunter locked himself in the little bedroom and stripped out of his clothes for a quick shower, images and sounds of Will Hicks not only filled Hunter’s thoughts but also consumed his very being. That young man had taken life by the balls and never once cowered, not even in his last moments on this earth. He’d faced every element of war head-on with a plan to live big upon his return home. Almost daily he’d told Hunter he expected the same from him. And look what I’ve become. Someone who couldn’t even face a man he’d had sex with and apologize for his actions in person. Someone who made himself sick with worry and fear in just thinking about getting near Alex again. Hunter had become a piss-poor excuse of the man he’d sworn into a dying man’s ear he would become. Will would be ashamed to call Hunter a friend today. And Hunter wouldn’t blame him. Fuck.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

105

Chapter Eight “Shit”—Hunter swerved his truck onto a dirt road—“just do it already.” Gripping the hell out of the steering wheel, Hunter drove toward another silver trailer, this one Alex’s temporary place of business. After spending another sleepless night—even after Cain and Luke relieved him of watching Hercules— Hunter had come to the realization he would never sleep again if he didn’t look Alex in the eyes and apologize in person. The man’s scraped and bitten back continued to haunt Hunter every time he closed his eyes. Worse for Hunter, though, were the continual, aggressive fantasies that went hand in hand whenever the sexy blond businessman entered his thoughts. Which is pretty much all the time. Fuck. Only now Hunter had Will living front and center in his head too. Every time Hunter looked into those hazel eyes, he saw disappointment, and he knew it wouldn’t go away until he grew a pair, talked to Alex, and made a promise to himself he wouldn’t run. If he could just start to get his life in order, maybe Will would smile and start talking to him again. The constant voices of the dead had haunted Hunter to a point he’d often thought they would drive him mad. In twentyfour hours, he’d discovered their silence was a thousand times worse. He’d never felt so fucking alone in his life. Drawing his truck to a stop at the end of a half-dozen cars, Hunter took a steadying breath and exited the vehicle. He’d looked for Alex at his personal trailer first and had found the place empty. After not crossing paths with Alex during one of his morning runs either, Hunter figured tracking him down at work was the next best bet. Alex had talked about his building project with great pride during both meals at Sarah’s house, so much so Hunter could tell the man’s work was his life. Shit. An unintended smile emerged as a picture of their mating filled Hunter’s vision. I even folded him on top of a bunch of blueprints when I fucked him. Now Hunter only had to hope Alex would forgive him for intruding into such an important part of his world. A couple of hundred yards away, men streamed in and out of a partially gutted house—Hunter assumed the farmhouse Alex had said he found charming and wanted to refurbish. From where Hunter stood, he could easily imagine Alex striding through the front door, hardhat on, maybe some work boots, the protection clashing seriously with his perfect suit. Hunter could hear the man’s smooth yet commanding voice giving orders to a dozen men, all of them eager to aid in their boss’s vision for these homes.

106

Cameron Dane

Hell. Hunter found himself grinning again. He speaks with such passion about this dream of his I half want to join up and help him too. Hunter stopped on a dime a few feet away from the open trailer door, taken aback by his suddenly lighter step. What the hell? Then it hit him. Alex did this to him. Somehow the man had the ability to stir up Hunter’s worst demons and fears yet also make him forget himself and just smile and live in the moment, exhilarated and free of anxiety. How does he do that? Hunter touched his hand to his chest as his heart fluttered. Because you already like and care about him. Nervousness suddenly overtook Hunter, kicking his heartbeat up to a pounding thud, but a lopsided smile quirked his lip up at the edge too. Commotion just inside the trailer grabbed Hunter’s attention. “If you call him again without my express permission,” a male voice said, “I will fire you.” “But, Mr. Gainer. Sir,” another male, higher voice replied, “this is important.” “Understand something, Bradley.” The first man’s voice slipped to lethal. “Mack is much more important to Mr. Quick than this project. When he says he is not to be disturbed for any reason, he means it. If there is an emergency, you bring it to me, and I will decide if I need to call him. Otherwise, as far as you are concerned, Mr. Quick has holed himself up on a little tropical island in the middle of the ocean with no way to reach him. You should thank your lucky stars you did not get through and disrupt his time with his friend. He would not have been a happy man, and you do not want to see Mr. Quick angry. Have I made myself clear?” “Yes, sir.” “Then tell me what you need, and I will take care of it.” “Okay, so, I took a call…” The conversation continued, but Hunter didn’t hear another word of it. Holed away with a guy named Mack? Hunter speed-walked and then ran to his truck, each step a battle to beat out the sledgehammer of unwanted emotion bearing down on his back. Here Hunter was making himself sick and losing sleep over Alex, and all the while Alex had another man. Fuck. Hunter slammed his fist against the side of his truck, welcoming the radiating tentacles of stinging pinpricks taking over his entire hand. Alex sure hadn’t acted like someone with a piece on the side while Hunter had his dick up the man’s ass, pounding away until he screamed and came. Hunter punched the truck with the same hand again, and then a third and fourth time, not stopping until the million dots of numbing discomfort crawled all the way up his arm and into his shoulder. As Hunter climbed into the truck, he called himself every kind of idiot fool in the book for thinking a man like Alex wouldn’t already have someone romantic in his life. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Hunter’s gaze strayed to the lighter, but seeing it only slipped him back to Alex catching him burning himself. Fucking shit. Hunter rammed his fist into the windshield instead. The glass held. He bit down a cry as a second wave of crushing pain consumed his hand and smothered the knifing betrayal lancing his gut. Son of a bitch.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

107

Alexander Quick would fucking get his apology. Hunter still owed him that. Beyond that, the guy needed to stay out of Hunter’s way.

*** The setting sun pushed rays of orange and rose through the sheer curtains in the little house in Georgia, casting strips of light and shadow across the floor and walls. “I don’t need you playing nursemaid,” Mack grumbled, drawing Alex’s attention from an e-mail. “I’m goddamn fine.” After putting down his laptop, Alex took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I know you are,” he replied. But damn it, a week had passed, and Alex still couldn’t get Mack’s frantic phone call out of his head. Never mind that Helen had checked on him, discovered he’d accidentally taken the wrong pill, the result of which had revved up his heart rate and left him disoriented. She had taken Mack to the ER and had him back to his usual self before Alex had even arrived. Alex looked at Mack now, and his gaze immediately dropped to the tremor in the strong man’s hands. He couldn’t erase the way Mack tried to hide it when he clutched his stomach after eating too. Seeing this once-hearty bull faltering pulled back the curtain on Alex’s weaknesses and left him stumbling in the dark, unsure where to step next. God, he didn’t want to lose this man—the most important part of his world. He didn’t know how he would survive when he eventually did. This time Alex clutched his stomach. Constantly feeling near to throwing up had become a regular part of his days lately when visiting Mack. Mack maneuvered himself out of his wheelchair and onto the couch. “Don’t you have a business to run and houses to build?” He started flipping through channels on the TV. “Why the hell are you still here?” “For your scintillating company, of course.” Alex flashed a big, cheesy smile. “Nobody else curses at me quite like you do.” With a snort, Mack arched a thick, dark brow. “Then you need to get out more, boy.” Memories of Hunter’s hard mouth claiming his and then mapping every inch of his cock made Alex’s blood rush and his pulse increase. Right where he sat, Alex could still feel the man’s cock buried deep in his body, stretching him so deliciously. He shifted in his chair as his asshole throbbed for a repeat performance. “Whoa, shit.” Mack muted the TV and shifted his focus totally to Alex. “What was that?” Alex’s brows knit together. “What was what?” “You’ve got something going on with someone, don’t you?” Mack’s eyes gleamed like moonlight reflecting off the purest ocean water. He used his massive arms to shimmy across the couch and get right in Alex’s face. “Yep. I can tell by the way

108

Cameron Dane

you’re still squirming that you’re hiding something.” His stare narrowed, and his voice dropped to gentle. “The only thing you don’t talk to me about is men.” Alex’s lips compressed, but he nodded. “There has never been one who felt important enough to share with you.” “But now it’s different.” “No. Maybe.” Alex growled and tugged at his hair as his last encounter with Hunter once again bombarded his thoughts and left him battered. “Honest to God, old man”—Alex propped his elbow on the chair and plunked the side of his face in his hand—“I don’t really know.” “Well that’s good, punk.” Mack whacked Alex in the shoulder hard enough to knock his elbow off the armrest. “You’re so smart you always have an answer for everything. It’s about time someone has you confused.” “Maybe.” A chill came over Alex, as had happened every time he closed his eyes and saw Hunter burning a hole into his flesh with that lighter. Don’t forget all those other scars you saw on his chest and stomach too. “He’ll be complicated as hell to be with.” Alex made eye contact with the man whose opinion and guidance he valued more than the top minds who’d taught him at the best universities. “Maybe more than I can handle.” Mack never even blinked. “Nope. Not for you. If he’s important, you’ll find a way to figure him out and make it work.” A wave of love buoyed Alex out of the undertow. “He—his name is Hunter— has served in the military. In the army. He doesn’t talk about it, but I know his sister, so I know he did multiple tours in Afghanistan and Iraq.” A turbulent sea shadowed Mack’s stare. “That much time in a war zone will fuck with a person’s head.” Just as fast as Alex had crested the surf, a riptide pulled him under again. “Yeah.” Coping with a man struggling with nightmares of war as well as the very real, repeated act of harming himself rendered Alex virtually mute. “I know it will.” Mack’s stare narrowed and his shoulders stiffened. “You don’t sound like yourself. Your words are demonstrative, but your tone is hesitant.” Alex opened his mouth, but it took two tries before he said roughly, “I think I’m scared, Mack.” Bigger storms kicked up in Mack’s eyes. “Of this Hunter guy?” “No.” Alex quickly found his voice this time. “He is aggressive sometimes, but much more often he’s quiet or soft-spoken. I don’t think he would hurt me.” The last remnants of flaking scabs from Hunter’s brand of mating tickled Alex’s back and slipped a burr of doubt into his logical brain. “Mack, were you”— Shit. How to phrase this?—“forceful after your time in the military?” “Some,” Mack replied with a curt nod. “I saw some bad shit on some peacekeeping missions—stuff you don’t wish on your worst enemy. Mostly, though, after I lost my legs, I started drinking too much, and that made my ability to control my anger worse. The cops arrested me for busting up a little dive of a restaurant

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

109

once, and that sobered me up. A liaison from the VA bailed me out and dragged my ass into AA that very night. The program saved my life. I found a good job, and shortly thereafter I met you and your mom.” A naughty smile graced Mack’s face right then. “I dove right into dating her well before AA rules said I should.” Damn. Alex pushed at his chin and closed his gaping mouth. He never would have thought it possible, but after almost two decades of friendship, Mack had revealed something brand-new about his life. “I’ve seen your chips, but I had no idea what made you start drinking and why you stopped.” “It was hard to talk about back then. Losing my legs, the drinking, and battling to stop… It was all still fresh.” The timbre of Mack’s voice rubbed like sandpaper. “It’s still very personal now.” Alex squeezed the man’s callused hand. “I’m sorry I brought it up.” “It’s all right.” Mack patted Alex’s arm in return. “This guy Hunter is obviously important to you.” Alex’s heart constricted terribly as snapshots of his time in Hunter’s company consumed him. “I care about him, Mack. I hardly know him, and it’s not rational to want someone so completely and so quickly the way I want him, but I do. I have this, this”—Alex churned his fists against his stomach as he struggled to share— “fear twisting me up inside because I don’t like things I can’t explain, and I can’t explain why Hunter is different than any other man I’ve been attracted to in the last ten years. It doesn’t make sense, but it feels like I see him better than anyone else in that town of people who’ve known him forever. I get near him, and I just want to wrap him up in my arms and protect him from the world, which is ridiculous because he surely knows how to defend himself and probably knows ten ways to kill a man with his bare hands.” Shaking his head, Mack frowned. “Physical strength doesn’t mean a damn thing when you’re all cut up and bleeding inside where nobody can see.” “I know.” Alex’s entire body ached for Hunter and his struggle. At the same time, Alex had been around the man enough to see and feel the barrier Hunter kept erected around himself—even during sex, to a degree. Fissures of panic crept through Alex’s system, leaving icy streaks of cold. Adrenaline automatically pumped into his bloodstream, something Alex understood as his subconscious working to protect him. He’d learned early on in his career never to ignore when his body spoke to him. Shit. Damn. Fuck. Swallowing thickly, Alex looked to Mack for answers. “I want to go back to him—I fucking want him with a desperation I have never exhibited in my life—but I’m scared I’m already waist-deep in falling for him while he isn’t capable of having anything more than sex with me.” Mack studied Alex through piercing, clear eyes for a full minute in silence before speaking. “Let me ask you something. When was the last time you did something where your feet weren’t firmly planted on the ground and you didn’t have a plan in place where you’re almost guaranteed the result before you ever said ‘go’?”

110

Cameron Dane

Alex slipped back to ten years ago, in this very house. He thought it, and he knew Mack could read it in his eyes. “You know,” Alex murmured, his cheeks blossoming with heat. Mack nodded. “Did you regret that?” Looking into this wonderful man’s gaze, Alex could only speak the truth. “No.” Mack nodded again, as if to say good for you. “But you haven’t opened up and taken a chance with a man since then?” he pressed. A decade’s worth of categorized romances with researched lovers ticked through Alex’s memory and prompted more honesty. “No.” That night so long ago, and what had come afterward, made Alex’s voice gruff. “Not like that.” “Then maybe it’s time to go back to Montana and try,” Mack said. “Maybe Hunter is the right soldier for you.” A tall, dark drink of sexiness in boots, tight jeans, fitted plaid shirt, and a Stetson tugged Alex’s lips upward. “He’s a cowboy now.” Mack waggled his thick brows. “Go ride ’im then, little doggie”—he made gunfighter signals with his hands—“and see what happens.” Thank God Alex didn’t have a drink in his mouth. “Holy fucking shit, Mack.” He gagged and pretended to vomit over the side of the chair. Glaring at the man sideways, he said, “Please don’t ever try to bond with me by making a riding joke like that again.” Mack gave him the finger. “See if I ever try to help you win another boyfriend.” He worked his way back to the other side of the couch, muttering, “Punk-ass bitch.” “Grizzled old man.” With a chuckle, Alex slipped on his glasses. He rarely wore his contacts when he came home. “I’m gonna go make us some dinner.” He got up and made his way to the kitchen. “What do you want?” “For you to go back to Montana!” “I love you too,” Alex shouted back. Smiling secretly, he said in a much softer voice, “Liver it is then.” Commotion ensued as Mack jerking his wheelchair into position mingled with a string of choice words. “What the fuck crazy-ass lunacy made you buy liver?” Mack joined Alex in the kitchen to explain exactly what they would make for supper. Mack took charge, and Alex quietly beamed with pride and love. His strong bull was back.

*** “Thank you, Rand.” Alex clapped the shoulder of his right-hand man. He hadn’t intended to bring Rand Gainer to Quinten originally, but once Mack had become ill and Alex knew he would need to make multiple trips out of state during the crucial beginning stages of this Quinten project, he hadn’t felt comfortable leaving anyone else in charge during his absence. “You’ve done a fantastic job, as usual. Now get the hell out of here.” Alex eyed the man’s perfectly cut and combed black hair, as well as his neat, dark suit, and marveled that not only couldn’t he see

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

111

a smudge or hair out of place but couldn’t detect a hint of darkness under the man’s eyes either. Just because Alex couldn’t see exhaustion or a chink in the man’s armor didn’t mean it didn’t exist. “I know you haven’t slept since I left.” Rand shrugged. “I have a weird body clock. I don’t need much.” As they exited the partially gutted farmhouse, he turned and walked backward, a stack of files tucked under his arm. “Are you sure you don’t want me to get you up to speed on the Miami and Austin projects? I doused a lot of little fires and took progress reports while you were gone.” “Tomorrow.” Alex veered toward his car while Rand backed to his. “Get a good night of sleep, and we’ll dig into everything in the morning.” Rand dipped his head. “Yes, sir.” With a grin, Alex paused with his hand on his door handle. “One day you’re gonna start calling me Alex.” “Maybe, sir.” Five years into Rand’s employment and Alex could not find a source for the man’s formal nature. “Maybe in another five years, huh?” “Perhaps, sir.” “Understood.” Sighing, Alex knew he would not trick answers out of this keen and insightful man. “Go home. To your own trailer,” Alex clarified. “Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been sleeping on site while I’ve been away.” “Good night, sir.” Before sliding behind the wheel of his vehicle, Rand added, “It’s good to have you back.” Alex inhaled a lungful of crisp, clean air, and it was as if millions of little dots of light illuminated inside him. “It feels good to be back.” Hopefully even better as soon as I see Hunter. Anticipation made those sparks of brightness hum. “Bye.” With one eye on Rand’s car—making sure he actually headed toward his trailer—Alex let himself truly start to fantasize about showing up at Hunter’s apartment in just a short while. He’d been in Quinten for about half a day, but work had required his immediate attention. Aside from that, Alex didn’t know if he would be able to keep his hands off Hunter when they crossed paths again, and so had decided maybe heading straight out to find him at Forrest-Hawk wasn’t the wisest plan. At his apartment however… Immediate strands of arousal tied themselves around Alex’s cock and balls, stirring blood and swelling flesh. Alex moaned softly in the privacy of his car as he pictured Hunter throwing him on a bed, tearing off their clothes, and coming down on top of him in an explosion of lust. Yeah, mmm. Wait. Alex reached for his phone. Not yet. He had to call and check on Mack first. Reaching farther across the passenger seat for his cell, Alex came up empty. “Crap.” He’d taken his phone inside the house with him. After making a call and then sending a text, he hadn’t picked it up again. Maybe he needed to take his own advice to Rand to go home and get some sleep first. No. As Alex climbed out of his car and went back into the house, every nerve ending and pleasure center in his body screamed a rejection of going home to a

112

Cameron Dane

lonely trailer. Even in the midst of exhaustion, Alex wanted Hunter. He craved a long night of tangled nakedness and multiple cries of completion more than he did an evening of rest. Alex did need and welcome a soft mattress under his back, but his thickening cock told him he needed Hunter in that bed too, spreading Alex’s legs wide open and plugging his newly needy hole. Fucking shit. Inside the gutted house, Alex flipped on a temporary switch and lit a dozen mechanical lights hanging from the exposed rafters, flooding the empty home in a warm yellow glow. He took the stairs two at a time and found his phone on a windowsill, exactly where he knew he’d left it. After pocketing the device, Alex loped back down the steps to the door, and then pulled up short at the entry, his breath trapped in his throat. Oh my. Hunter filled the open doorway, his big frame somehow fiercer and harder than ever. His face looked chiseled out of stone. Alex had never seen his eyes darker, yet no man had ever appeared more beautiful in Alex’s eyes. And oh so untouchable. Alex took a step closer anyway. Then another. Something volatile and dangerous thickened the dry air, but Alex couldn’t process anything but the hunger mixed in too. It matched the desperation Alex had lived with since the last time they’d come together. One more step put Alex close enough to feel Hunter’s uneven breathing. He’s like an untamed animal. The thought flitted across Alex’s consciousness, but he curled his palm against Hunter’s cheek anyway. Hunter flinched just as Alex whispered, “I missed you.” In a split second, Hunter’s nostrils flared. He locked his hand around Alex’s arm and slammed him into the wall.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

113

Chapter Nine The second Alex had opened his mouth, a red mass of swirling rage consumed Hunter’s entire being. I missed you, the guy had the fucking nerve to say. In Hunter’s mind, Alex had just looked him right in the eyes and lied, making any plan of an apology fly from Hunter’s thoughts. Hunter growled and grabbed Alex’s cock through his pants. Yeah, right, you missed me. Savage emotions ripped through Hunter and shoved every last bit of his original good intentions to talk aside. Seeing Alex again, listening as the lies so easily left his mouth, pushed Hunter’s darkest, most base needs to the surface. Those raw places took over, dictating his actions once more. Hunter licked up the side of Alex’s face to his ear. “What did you miss?” he hissed, pleased when Alex shivered. “Did you miss this?” Hunter squeezed and pulled on Alex’s dick without any gentleness. Alex immediately gasped and thickened in Hunter’s hand, and his skin began to flush with color. Fucking bastard. “Did you discover you like it a little rougher than you thought and decide to come back for some more?” Hunter crudely rubbed Alex from root to tip again, and he bared his teeth when his own erection pushed with excitement against his jeans. No. Don’t. He couldn’t help himself, though. Need overrode all else. Coming mattered. Getting Alex rock hard and begging mattered. Making Alex admit to the truth of the raw chemistry between them—more than he could possibly have with any other man—spurred Hunter’s every move. “Fucking take off your clothes.” Hunter ripped at Alex’s shirt, tearing fabric and sending buttons flying in his desperation to have this person naked again. Eye contact, seeing the open lust blurring Alex’s emerald gaze, triggered the rest of Hunter’s basest desires. He tugged at Alex’s belt and shoved his pants down his legs. Licking the man’s mouth, Hunter savagely said, “I need inside your ass again.” “Yes. Yes.” While kicking off his shoes and toeing off his socks, and then stepping out of his pants, Alex pressed dozens of kisses all over Hunter’s face. “I was just about to come looking for you.” He threaded his hands into Hunter’s hair and gently tugged until their foreheads touched. His eyes glittered as he sipped from Hunter’s lips. “I wanted you so much while I was gone.” I wonder if Mack knew that? Staring into Alex’s unwavering gaze—fucking liar—fueled the heat already coursing too hot through Hunter. Guided by unfettered, punishing, sexual need, Hunter dragged Alex next to a window and grabbed a thick extension cord hanging nearby. Visions of Alex with this secret Mack person stabbed at Hunter’s mind’s eye, torturing him, yet he still could not

114

Cameron Dane

douse the fire of need burning inside him for this man. The memory of what Hunter had overheard still seared itself into his psyche, and had been festering there since that day. It had complete control and ruled Hunter’s world. Hating himself for wanting Alex even though Alex had just come from being with another man—a man Alex obviously cared about based on instruction when he went to visit him—Hunter shoved Alex’s arms over his head anyway, knotted the cord around his wrists, and looped the other side around a hook drilled high into the wall next to the window. Alex struggled for a moment, and his pupils flared, but his erection didn’t dwindle one bit. Hunter ran his hands down Alex’s stretched arms to his shoulders and then over his smooth, scar-free chest and flat belly, all the while absorbing the man’s warmth and marveling at the line of goose bumps he left everywhere he touched. “It’s good to know you wanted me. I wanted you too.” He teased the tips of his fingers over Alex’s narrow hips and firm runner’s thighs, smiling with power when Alex jerked and a fat drop of jizz squeezed out of his slit. “Did you want me blowing your cock again?” Quickly dropping to his knees, Hunter then inhaled Alex’s musky, sweaty scent, humming as the man’s distinct aroma tagged his nostrils and sank into his pores. Unable to hold back, Hunter swirled the flat of his tongue up and down Alex’s length, licking along burning hot, granite-hard flesh, tormenting himself with a preview that wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy. He cursed how much he ached for this person, but breathed in deeply and opened his mouth for more anyway. Closing his lips around the fat cockhead—fuck, yes—Hunter sucked gently but relentlessly. Within his mouth, he flicked his tongue repeatedly until Alex moaned. The man punched his hips forward, silently pleading for more, and streamed a salty line of precum onto Hunter’s waiting tongue. The urge to take Alex’s cock all the way down his throat and to force the man to come at his will thrummed throughout Hunter’s body, pushing him to bob faster and deeper up and down Alex’s length, to taste as much of Alex’s cock as he could. Hunter gloried in having Alex’s rigid flesh scorching every corner of his mouth; he twisted his head side to side and skimmed his tongue over a blood-engorged vein that ran up the underside of Alex’s penis to his tip. The leaking head called for Hunter to suckle it again. When he drew the fat mushroom cap past his lips and licked up all Alex’s early seed, Alex cried out and begged Hunter to do more. His blood boiling, Hunter looked up at Alex, letting the man’s dick slide from his mouth. “What else do you want?” As Hunter rubbed Alex’s cock all over his face, his gut churned with the knowledge that another man might have done this very thing to Alex yesterday or the day before. The thought of Alex letting another person touch him so quickly after they’d had sex sickened Hunter, yet he hated himself even more because he could not walk away. “Do you want to come in my mouth?” He grazed Alex’s slit across his parted lips. “Or maybe it’s the thought of me reddening your ass again that is turning you on?” Hunter spun Alex around and smacked his pale, tight buttocks with the flat of his good hand, groaning as his palm made contact with the man’s flesh. Each spanking Hunter delivered deepened Alex’s cheeks to the most arousing dusky pink color. “On those dark, lonely

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

115

nights”—Hunter scowled and nipped Alex’s buttocks, tugging on the flesh with his teeth—“did you dream about everything I did to you?” Hunter picked up Alex’s expensive leather belt and ran the cool material across his smooth ass. “Yes, everything. Ohhh God…” Alex gasped and shuddered as Hunter slipped the length of leather between Alex’s cheeks and rubbed the edge back and forth over his hole. “I want everything you want to do to me.” His arms stretched above him, Alex pushed his face into the wall and thrust his ass into the soft swish of the belt. Moaning, he uttered, “Anything you need.” Jesus, yes. Hunter’s cock swelled to painful proportions. Without conscious thought, he shot up and lashed the belt across Alex’s ass, streaking the pinked skin with an angry line of red. Alex’s hoarse scream echoed in the empty house, but at the same time he kept his legs locked and his ass firmly in place, and Hunter didn’t for one second miss the splash of precum hitting the floor. Hunter snapped the leather across Alex’s buttocks and upper thighs in quick succession again and again and again. Alex cried out with each sting of the belt against his skin. His rich, strong voice, hovering somewhere between pain and ecstasy with each crack of the belt on his flesh, drove Hunter to open his jeans and free his straining cock. Again Hunter flicked his wrist and watched the black strap make contact high on Alex’s ass. This time, though, Alex’s moan in conjunction with the growing strip of red streaking his skin didn’t pump a satisfying fuel into Hunter’s blood. It’s not enough. Breathing heavily, Hunter noticed a fading scratch under the skin he’d just whipped. He ran his fingertip over the pale line, the final evidence of his previous branding, and his cock surged to straight out and heavy, full of blood. The belt slid from Hunter’s hand. He kissed his way up Alex’s spine. With each touch of his lips to the man’s warm skin, powerful forces inside him pushed him to bite as much as graze, lick, and sip. He swirled the tip of his tongue around Alex’s ear and then poked into the opening. Alex trembled, and adrenaline spiked in Hunter’s system. Hunter reached down and smacked at Alex’s inner thighs until the man spread his legs wider. “Feel what the thought of branding you all over again does to me?” He fit himself into the space he’d just created and rubbed his erection over Alex’s taint and balls. “I have fantasies where every inch of your body is covered with marks I put there. Do you understand that?” Having Alex so close and naked in front of him, his scent consuming Hunter’s senses, dragged base honesty from Hunter’s core. “There would be nowhere you could look where you didn’t see my mark and think of me.” Alex writhed in front of Hunter. He struggled against the cord binding his arms. Somehow he managed to step back into Hunter even closer and rub his nudity into Hunter’s nearly fully clothed front. “I want it.” Alex’s chest heaved. He turned his head enough to kiss and lick Hunter’s jaw. “God help me. I don’t understand it”—he wiggled his ass right into Hunter’s cock, clearly searching for penetration—“but I want everything with you.”

116

Cameron Dane

With a raw shout of his own, Hunter latched onto Alex’s neck and sucked with everything he had in him. Desperate to pull blood to the surface that would show tomorrow, Hunter didn’t care what kinds of marks he put on Alex as long as he made them himself, and as long as Alex wore them for days to come. Hunter scraped his fingers up Alex’s sides, around to his chest, down his stomach, and then back again, scratching in the same tracks a second and third time. As tiny drops of blood left moisture on his fingers, Hunter growled and bit his way across Alex’s nape to the other side of his neck, hungry to leave a big angry love mark there too. Alex immediately shifted his head to give Hunter greater access, which only put tinder to the flame already burning too high inside Hunter. Hunter wrapped his arms around Alex and sent one hand diving to the man’s cock and the other to his chest. He closed his good hand around Alex’s dick in a visetight hold and began to tug with ruthless intent. At the same time, he scratched across sweat-slick skin to pinch and twist Alex’s nipples, first one and then the other, brutalizing the little mauve discs until he made them burn as hot and as red as the man’s buttocks. Hunter milked Alex’s cock with full, suffocating strokes, drawing fat bead after fat bead of early seed out of the man’s crimson-colored cock, straight into Hunter’s waiting hand. Hunter dipped his hand between Alex’s thighs but forewent tugging on the man’s balls the way he knew Alex must so desperately want. Instead Hunter pressed on Alex’s taint with his slick fingertips, massaging the soft, thin patch of skin. Alex made the hottest fucking whimpering noises the entire time, and he could not seem to stop churning his hips. Each little noise Alex made screwed with Hunter’s mind, merging his unbearable need to fuck Alex with the lava-hot spits of revenge still coating his very being. Everything Alex did—the way he moaned, the hot swish of his ass into Hunter’s crotch, the scent he gave off that Hunter absorbed and claimed as that of his mate, the inconsequential tugs against his bindings that conveyed he wasn’t entirely comfortable at Hunter’s mercy, threw more and more gasoline onto an already out-of-control blaze. Hunter licked and sucked behind Alex’s ear, the man’s subtly sweet taste mainlining sugar straight to his cock. “What else do you want from me?” Shifting, Hunter buried his nose in the man’s hair and breathed in the warm scent of sandalwood. “Should I get into that tight little ass of yours?” he asked, his voice husky. Hunter stung the outer curve of Alex’s left buttock with a hard smack. The contact made his balls pull so hard he spanked Alex’s other flank too. “Is that what you want? You like someone stretching you so much it hurts?” Twisting within the cord binding his wrists, Alex turned sideways. Nuzzling his face into Hunter’s cheek, he whispered, “I do when it’s you.” He lifted his face out of hiding, and his grass gaze held beautiful glints of morning dew. “Fuck me.” His lips brushed the edge of Hunter’s mouth. “Please.” “Shit.” Slipping fast, Hunter reached across the breadth of the window and yanked at a sawhorse. The wood legs screeched against the stripped floor as he dragged it to them. A number of items resting along the narrow beam flew by the

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

117

wayside, but Hunter didn’t give a fuck about destroying this job site in his quest. He got the construction piece wedged in behind Alex, the back legs pushed up against the wall, and lifted Alex onto the thin bar of wood smack in the center. Alex immediately adjusted as if he couldn’t bear to wait a second longer either. He parted his thighs and bent his legs, hooking his toes onto the wood to hold on as best he could. With his upper back braced against the wall, his legs spread wide open, and his perfect, rosy hole on display, Alex proved himself a temptation a starving man like Hunter couldn’t resist. Hunter folded to his knees and dived right in, taking a second lick of Alex’s smooth, cum-filled sac. He tongued the man’s taint too, and groaned as he inhaled the natural musky fragrance of someone who’d spent the day working hard. The earthiness of a man who hadn’t yet showered appealed to Hunter’s baser desires, and getting at Alex’s pucker punched Hunter the rest of the way home. Hunter pushed the taut orbs of Alex’s buttocks apart and licked from stem to stern, reveling in the taste of sweat and man bursting on his taste buds. He loved the feel of Alex’s tightly closed entrance against the tip of his tongue, and it excited him to feel it contract with each flick against the sensitized nerve endings. Not enough. One parting of his lips and Hunter began alternating between sucking and poking at Alex’s asshole, and even swirled his tongue all around the rim. Alex seemed to attempt to rock away and then back into Hunter’s ministrations, as if he couldn’t yet understand if he liked this kind of intimacy or not. It made Hunter wonder just how often other men—goddamn Mack—offered him this kind of pleasure. Hunter growled and redoubled his efforts, determined to obliterate with a vengeance any man but him from Alex’s thoughts. He pushed at Alex’s legs, jammed his thighs so far apart he nearly pressed the guy’s knees into the wall. The overall picture Alex presented, with his bound arms, lust-filled stare, rigid cock poking into his belly, and widespread ass and thighs, spoke of a wanton who cared about nothing but someone working him over any way they wanted, so long as they made Alex come. Bet nobody else has ever seen Alexander Quick like this. The sight of Alex in this position burned Hunter inside. So full of open desire and need while at someone else’s mercy. Beads of sweat poured down Hunter’s back. His cock jumped between his legs, eager to reclaim a snug, damp home inside Alex. Full of power now, Hunter kissed and teased Alex’s pucker, doing his damnedest to relax the hell out of the shy muscle. He flicked and flicked and flicked, and Alex bit his lip as his asshole pulsed and fluttered with each intimate kiss, clearly out of his control. Yes. That’s right. Give up the fight. Hunter dared to nibble and bite at the skin surrounding Alex’s pretty ring. Alex keened and bucked, the movement rocking the sawhorse on its legs. Hunter bit again with the intention of delivering a more concentrated sting, and a shudder rolled through Alex from top to bottom.

118

Cameron Dane

“No more. Please.” Alex shrank back until his spine rode the wall. “I can’t take it anymore.” His eyes shone with unnatural brightness, and his chest expanded as if he could not catch his breath. “I need to feel you inside me. Take me now, Hunt.” Alex’s muscles strained as he pulled against the cord around his wrists. “I’m so fucking close to coming.” Hunter shot to his feet. On a day when his erection wasn’t so damn hard it hurt—and when he couldn’t feel Alex shaking with need too—he’d linger and eat this man’s ass all day. He would lick, suck, and bite on that little pink starburst until his tongue slipped inside and he fucked Alex in a way he suspected the man had never experienced in his life. Right now, though, Hunter pulled a condom from his pocket, unwrapped it, and rolled it on his rearing cock in record time, all the while ignoring the fact that his hands trembled and what that might mean. The fact that he’d sworn up and down to himself he didn’t want anything to do with Alex anymore, yet had carried a condom and lube in his pocket since the morning he’d discovered Alex had gone away, sent a message that had Hunter clenching his teeth. I fucking want him, even if it’s sloppy seconds. Hunter slathered the lube on over the condom, tossed the packet onto the floor, and silently cursed at the way his cock jumped and his balls pulled at the slightest contact. Jerk off in front of him. Hunter scrambled to reclaim something of his shredded soul. Come on the floor and walk away, leaving him hard as a rock. Alex shifted in front of Hunter and drew his full attention. Nothing but pure, open need lived in Alex’s storm-filled green gaze. He scratchily whispered, “Please.” Jesus. Hunter’s need met Alex’s and took complete control. He slammed forward and drove his cock straight into Alex’s ass, pushing through unbearable, delicious tightness right to the hilt. At first penetration, both men roared in harmony. Cock invaded ass, and ass clutched cock in a fierce hold, binding Hunter and Alex together as one. Hunter moaned, glorying in Alex’s passage as it smothered his dick in scorching, slick heat. The need to move consumed Hunter and overrode all else. He wrapped his arms around Alex’s thighs, holding him in place for the second deep, full spearing from his cock. Burning hot, wonderful friction enflamed Hunter’s shaft and had him punching his hips forward again. He quickly knifed into Alex a third and fourth time, desperate to sink into a connection he hated knowing didn’t feel like any sex he’d ever experienced before. Spiraling lines of incredible pleasure launched from his cock into every corner of his body, driving Hunter to take Alex’s ass again and again and again. No mating with any other man had ever consumed Hunter in quite the way taking Alex did. Hunter dug his fingers into Alex’s thighs, surely bruising flesh. That thought made Hunter shove himself even harder and faster into Alex’s ass, taking Alex to the hilt and then grinding his pubes into the man’s sweet, stretched hole, leaving the vulnerable, soft skin scraped with another of his brands. Hunter pulled all the way out of Alex’s chute and then watched as he forced his way back inside, pushing to the root and roughly rubbing his fur against Alex’s

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

119

ring. The darkly base sight spurred Hunter to withdraw and sink into Alex once more, the vision inciting a low growl. “Jesus… Fucking Jesus. Alex. Alex.” Hunter ran his hands up and down Alex’s thighs and cursed that he hadn’t taken off his glove. He ached for skin-to-skin contact everywhere he could get it. Hunter let go and put his glove to his teeth, intent to rip it off, and even tear open his shirt so he could rub his sweat-slick chest against Alex’s. Just then, though, Alex whipped his legs around Hunter’s waist and locked his ankles at Hunter’s back. “Oh God…God.” Eyes closed, Alex clung to the cord binding his wrists and thrashed his head against the wall. “Don’t stop.” He worked himself off on Hunter’s cock, attempting to ride him in a modified way. “Harder…” With a low curse, Alex tried to impale himself fully on Hunter’s shaft. “Fuck me harder.” Black volcanic heat surged through Hunter in a seismic wave. He grabbed Alex’s hair and used his forehead to pin Alex to the wall. An animalist noise of ownership erupted from deep in Hunter’s gut, and he none too gently banged Alex’s head against the plaster. When Alex blinked, Hunter ordered in a guttural voice, “Say my name.” “Hunt… Ohhh fuck…” Alex bit his lip as Hunter gave him one good, deep thrust for getting the answer right. “So fucking good, Hunt.” Alex yanked at his arms. When the cord only cinched tighter, not allowing him to move, Alex stuck out his tongue and licked Hunter’s lips again. In between each lick, he said, “Hunter. Your name is Hunter.” Hunter rewarded Alex with another hard stab all the way into his fluttering chute. “And who owns your ass right now and for as long as I want it?” Hunter’s voice registered deep and harsh. Breathing heavily, Alex said, “You do,” and unwound his legs from Hunter. He planted his feet back on the sawhorse beam and put his stuffed-to-capacity asshole on full display. “It’s yours.” “That’s right.” Hunter grunted with satisfaction. “Don’t look away. Don’t close your eyes.” Staying forehead to forehead with Alex, keeping the man nailed to the wall, Hunter stabbed into Alex’s ass one, two, three times. As he did, he watched Alex’s mouth gape with a silent cry each time Hunter owned him to the root. Between their bodies, Alex’s cock wept clear lines of early ejaculate, and his balls swelled with prominence in his smooth, crimson sac. Hunter kept fucking Alex at a steady pace and also reached down to touch Alex’s engorged penis with sure strokes. He added a squeeze and tug on Alex’s nuts to the mix, and it didn’t take long for Alex to slip to a place of incoherent, pleading noises and erratic breathing. Hunter’s cock screamed to let loose and spew, and he swore his testicles had already tucked themselves halfway into his body, but he denied himself and focused entirely on making Alex come.

120

Cameron Dane

Hunter pumped his dick into Alex’s chute with ever faster and deeper thrusts, pegging Alex’s sweet spot with every drive. He squeezed his fingers tighter around Alex’s prick and jerked him from tip to base with equal speed, making sure to dip his fingers and play with the man’s nuts whenever he hit the root. Tension visibly strung Alex tighter and tighter. Soon his thighs shook, his voice trembled, and his eyes looked wild. His lips parted, and he brokenly uttered, “I-I can’t hold back.” Hunter licked to Alex’s ear and whispered, “Then don’t.” As he did, he sank his length as deep into Alex as he could and pressed his fingertips hard right under Alex’s sac. In rapid response, Alex shouted and convulsed. A split second later, hot ejaculate spewed between them, spraying onto Hunter’s shirt. As Alex came and came and came, saturating the fabric covering Hunter’s stomach, he squeezed his eyes shut and rolled his head against the wall. No! An immediate inferno of jealous, bitter heat overtook Hunter. He wanted to hit and shake Alex and demand to know who Alex saw in his head—Hunter or Mack. Or maybe someone else. Hunter bared his teeth, feeling like an animal. He scraped out in an awful voice, “I told you not to close your eyes.” Unsure and uncaring if Alex had even finished coming, Hunter reached up, pried the extension cord off the hook, and wrestled Alex to the floor. With Alex’s wrists still bound, Hunter easily overpowered him and got him flat on his back. Hunter shoved Alex’s arms into the floor above his head and then scrambled to straddle his face. He held Alex’s wrists down with one hand, effectively nailing him to the floor, and reached between his legs to tear off his condom with the other. Tossing the rubber aside, Hunter then pushed the fat, sticky tip of his cock into Alex’s mouth. Fucking Christ. Wet, mind-blowing heat surrounded Hunter’s cockhead, and new lines of sweat immediately began streaming down his sides under his shirt. He flexed his hips, fed more of his length past Alex’s lips, and sucked in a sharp breath when Alex relaxed his jaw and let Hunter deeper inside. Every nerve ending in Hunter’s prick sang the praises of Alex’s fine mouth. “That’s right.” Hunter hissed and shook his head in an effort to fight off coming. He withdrew, rubbed his saliva-slick dick all over Alex’s face, and then sank back into the man’s mouth until his slit kissed Alex’s throat. “Fucking open up and take it all.” Hunter snarled, angry with himself for loving this punishment too much. Goddamn show him who’s in charge, you pussy. Hunter quickly braced himself on Alex’s forearms, hoping like hell he bruised more skin, and began fucking Alex’s face with stabbing, repeated thrusts into a mouth that shouldn’t feel as if he sank his cock into warm, liquid gold. Utopia existed beyond Alex’s lips. When Alex started sucking in his cheeks and tonguing Hunter’s penis every time Hunter shoved his length inside, Hunter truly believed Alex’s mouth became heaven on earth. No. Hunter gritted his teeth against the immense pleasure and slammed his dick past Alex’s lips harder. It’s a fucking lesson. It shouldn’t be good.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

121

Hunter lost his grip as his hands grew slick with perspiration. His hold slid from Alex’s forearms to his hands. Alex immediately twined his fingers with Hunter’s, as if he wanted this brutal connection, and that only ratcheted up Hunter’s need to dominate even more. He ground the back of Alex’s hands into the dirty, wood subfloor, and did the same with his cock into Alex’s mouth, taking over the wet cavern and then some, going past the man’s throat. “Take every fucking inch.” Raw, unvarnished desire saturated Hunter’s voice. The nerve endings in his dick shrieked at his system to let loose, and his nuts had never been so heavy and full to the point of bursting like they felt right now. Hunter looked down and found Alex staring straight up at him. It felt as if the man somehow drilled a clean line right into Hunter’s soul. Oh fuck. Naked inside, Hunter pulled out his cock and then drove it right back home, uttering, “Try to breathe or eat something tomorrow without thinking of me.” Still locked on Hunter’s gaze, Alex closed in like a vacuum around Hunter’s prick. He sucked Hunter’s shaft in a way nobody had ever ministered to Hunter before, and Hunter threw his head back and let out a deafening roar. Starburst after starburst exploded inside him, each one punching their way through him on a collision course with his cock. He drilled his cock even deeper down Alex’s throat, and Alex somehow took Hunter’s length without gagging. Shoved in to the root, Hunter jerked, cried out, and then unloaded spurt after spurt of seed down Alex’s throat, marking him on the inside just as completely as on the exterior. The thought shot another line of pleasure through Hunter’s balls, and he pulled out just in time to dump a line of cum right across Alex’s lips. Just as fast as Hunter spilled himself on Alex’s mouth, thoughts of another guy possibly doing the same consumed him. In a shot, Hunter untangled his hands from Alex’s, shoved the extension cord off the man’s wrists, and scrambled backward. The sight of Alex sprawled naked on the floor of this construction site changed in Hunter’s mind to dozens of other work sites, and other men doing the same as Hunter had just done. No. Not like this. Hunter leaned down and sank his teeth into Alex’s chest, ignoring Alex’s cry. He did not retract until he’d drawn blood. He then shot to his feet. As he walked backward, stuffing his cock back into his jeans, he looked right into Alex’s wide stare. Bitterness laced Hunter’s voice as he said, “I don’t know what the hell you said to your man last week, but just try explaining what I did to you twice the next time you bend over for Mack.” Hunter stormed out of the house, slamming the open door behind him. Motherfucking shit. The oncoming night shrouded the open land in deep shadows, but light streaming from the lower level windows of the house behind him provided plenty of guidance to Hunter’s truck. His chest heaved. He had trouble regaining any sense of calm and automatically reached for his pocketknife. Right away he knew the blade wouldn’t work this time. Hunter needed to slam himself into a tree or a wall or punch something until his knuckles bled and he felt his arms would fall off his shoulders.

122

Cameron Dane

In a heartbeat, contemplating self-injury didn’t matter. A hundred seventy-five pounds of solid male rammed Hunter from behind and shoved him into the side of his truck. Pain radiated through the front of Hunter’s frame, and spots of white danced before his eyes. Before Hunter’s sight cleared, Alex jerked his arm, forced him around, and boxed him in with hands planted against the truck on either side of Hunter’s shoulders. Green streaks of out-of-control fire burned in Alex’s eyes. With his pants barely holding at his hips, his hair in wild disarray, and his blond beauty, he looked like a god a mortal had dared anger by waking him up. “You jackass bastard.” Alex slammed his hands against the truck this close to Hunter’s head. “You don’t get to storm into my workplace, fuck me like you just did, bite me, and then spew nonsensical garbage without giving me a chance to speak my piece.” Hunter’s heartbeat somehow kicked up even higher, but fuck, he didn’t dare let this man know it. He commanded his muscles to relax and sank into the metal at his back. “I think I just did,” he said, his voice easy-as-you-please. Alex’s nostrils flared. He leaned in dangerously close to Hunter’s face, and his lush mouth narrowed to an unforgiving line. “Where the fuck did you hear Mack’s name?” He looked near to sprouting horns and ramming Hunter again. “You can’t have done any research about me and learned anything about him. He is not for public consumption.” So I’m just part of the “public.” No way. Hunter combusted with life and shoved Alex out of his personal space. “No shit, he’s not for the public. He’s clearly too wonderful for us mere mortals to know, even the ones who are fucking”—Hunter bit off the word—“you.” He tried to circle Alex, but Alex turned with him, and it became an obvious sizing up of two dogs vying for the power position. “Apparently when you go to see this incredible man, your time is all for him and you cannot be disturbed. Not even for work. He must be pretty goddamn special for the great Alexander Quick to ignore his precious business when he’s with him. Does Mack have some kind of magical dick?” Hunter openly checked Alex out from top to bottom and then smiled nastily. “Or is it his mouth that makes time with him so damn valuable to you?” Alex roared. He swung fast and hard, cracking his fist into Hunter’s cheek. As a sharp burst of fire fanned out and consumed half of Hunter’s face, Alex tangled his hands in Hunter’s shirt and shoved him against the truck once more. His eyes charged with popping sparks, Alex snarled, “I don’t have anything to do with Mack’s goddamn dick or mouth! It’s his goddamn heart that matters the most to me, okay! Mack is the fucking most important person in my world, but he has never been nor will he ever be my boyfriend. And he is goddamn not now”—Alex thumped Hunter into the truck one more time—“nor will he ever be, my lover!” Hunter saw red. “Then what is he to you?” he spat back. His ears still rang with what he’d heard, and he could never wash his mind of the pictures he’d created in the week since. “If you’re so fucking innocent, tell me who Mack is!”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

123

Before Hunter’s eyes, Alex stood taller, yet at the same time his entire demeanor softened. The gentlest smile appeared and turned this already beautiful man to arresting. “He’s… He’s…” Enough light streamed from the house to see twin lines of pink slash Alex’s cheeks. Alex nodded, perhaps to himself, and met Hunter’s stare. “Mack is my best friend,” he shared. “He is so much more than that, though, but none of it is sexual. We’re not like that. Mack is my mentor, he is my bullshit meter, he is my shelter when I feel like it won’t fucking stop raining on me, he is my rock when I don’t feel stable, and he is a man who has no blood ties to me but makes me feel like I have a home when I’m with him. He is…Mack.” Alex shrugged, but nothing about the careless gesture felt throwaway. “That is the best way I can describe him. That is why my time is my own when I visit him. Not because we are fucking the whole time and cannot be disturbed. You could not be more wrong about that. He is very sick right now, and that is why I’ve been going to visit him so much.” A sharp, stabbing pain drilled Hunter in the chest. “Shit.” The soft curse slipped out as he closed his eyes and let his head fall to rest against the side of the truck. “The things I said to you.” A loop of Hunter’s accusations played at top volume in his mind. When compared to the truth Alex had just shared, Hunter wanted to impale himself on the nearest sharp object. “I’m so sorry.” Forcing himself out of hiding, Hunter opened his eyes and made contact with Alex again. His throat and mouth now bore the ashes of his hot, careless words and stupidity. “I’m such an ass. I know it’s not sufficient, but I am so sorry for what I said about you and your friend.” Alex rubbed his forehead and then curled his hand around his neck. “Goddamn it, Hunt. I am not a violent person, but I want to shake you.” Standing right in front of Hunter, Alex locked his other hand behind his neck and homed in on Hunter with a piercing, penetrating stare. “Do you really think I would open myself up to you like I did at my trailer, then run off and let some other man fuck me for a week, and then come back and let you do what you did to me just now?” “Jesus Christ. What I just did to you…” Hunter didn’t have to close his eyes to remember. On his marred flesh, Alex wore the results of Hunter’s disgusting mix of anger and passion. “I could have hurt you again. I didn’t”—he swallowed bile, unable to yet speak of his self-harming—“take care of what I felt when I let myself think about what you were doing with another man while you were away. I let it get out of control. I let it fester, and look what it did to you.” Alex arched a brow. “You’ve left me sore, Hunt.” He ran his hand over the bite on his chest and the scratches looping both sides of his torso. “You did last time too.” He reached back and rubbed his asshole through his pants but never once blinked or looked away. “I never once told you to stop, though. Either time.” “You shouldn’t have to.” Hunter slid down the side of his truck, ending with his elbows on his knees and his fingers tunneled in his hair. “I fuck up around everybody, but especially around you.” Every situation Hunter had screwed up since returning to Quinten suddenly pummeled him in rapid succession. Pressure built

124

Cameron Dane

mightily behind his eyes, and his throat thickened terribly. “I don’t know how smart it was for me to ever have come home.” Shame filled him. Christ, he couldn’t look away, but he didn’t want Alex to see him like this. “I’m not normal anymore.” “Hunter, don’t say—” Alex dropped to squat in front of Hunter, but as soon as he did, a soft trill filled the breezy air. “Shit.” He pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. “Give me a sec.” Alex took a step away, phone to his ear. Hunter lambasted himself for losing his shit—right now and in the house—and went for his pocketknife again. It wouldn’t help him, but maybe this time Alex would get some satisfaction out of seeing Hunter’s blood drawn. Hunter hadn’t even gotten his fingers around the metal when Alex, a halfdozen feet away, put his hand over his mouth and went white as a ghost. What the hell? His heart suddenly racing in that way it had when sensing an enemy in battle, Hunter leaped up and lunged for Alex. He grabbed Alex around the waist and dragged him to the porch steps just as the man’s legs started to crumple. “Jesus, Alex.” Hunter settled Alex on the steps and then knelt in front of him. “You’re scaring me.” He tried to rub some color back into Alex’s cheeks. “What’s the matter?” Tears rimmed Alex’s eyes. “He told me to come back.” He nodded as if Hunter might not believe him. “He told me to.” “Who did?” Hunter held Alex’s arms, keeping him steady. “Mack?” Alex wiped wetness from his cheeks. “Yes.” “Okay,” Hunter prompted. “He told you to come back. And?” “And now he’s gone.” Alex’s voice cracked in the most awful way. “Son of a bitch, old man”—he heaved and choked—“up and died on me.” Oh, baby. Hunter’s heart sank. Alex pitched forward, and Hunter pulled the grieving man into his arms.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

125

Chapter Ten He’s gone. Alex clung to Hunter as grief filled every corner of his body, rendering him incapable of anything but shaking and thinking he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone over and over again. Shudders overtook Alex, overcoming even tears. Intellectually he’d known this was coming, but every time he’d seen Mack, the man had convinced him he would pull through and be fine. Why did I believe him when he said to go? Alex knew the answer almost before asking the question. Because Mack didn’t want Alex to fret, worry, and hover. It wasn’t the man’s style. So stop your goddamn trembling and crying right now. He knew Mack wouldn’t want it. Hunter held Alex to his front and rubbed big circles into his bare back, soothing without words. His warmth engulfed Alex and kept away the freeze wanting to seep into his bones and take hold. The man held him with such sure strength, and for just a moment longer, Alex let himself sink into Hunter and clutch him tighter, knowing that soon enough he would have to stand up and take care of business on his own. Right now, though, for just one more minute, Alex buried his face into Hunter’s neck and gave in to the suppressed sobs racking his frame. Memories of dozens of pivotal moments with Mack at the center of them flew through Alex’s mind and shoved his loss into overload. Fucking stubborn, Mack. Why did you make me leave you? Picture-perfect clarity of the thousands of seemingly inconsequential days they’d spent together—that when put together created what made them an unbreakable team—flooded Alex’s brain and seeped into his very being, attacking him with overwhelming love and trust he would never experience again. Messy, loud, ugly tears took control, ripping raw emotion from such a deep place inside Alex felt as if the loss tore guts and organs from his body too. No. Don’t do this to yourself. Alex suddenly stiffened and struggled against Hunter’s embrace. Mack wouldn’t like this. Tattered and broken inside, feeling stripped bare, Alex pulled away from Hunter. He pushed himself up a step and took a deep breath of cleansing air. “Sorry about that.” He wiped the hated wetness from his face and then smacked his cheeks to bring some life back to them. “It’s okay to let go of yourself for a few minutes, but then you have to suck it up and drive on.” He tried to smile, but as he worked to swallow down more tears clawing to get out, Alex feared his smile pulled into something twisted and wrong. “That’s what Mack always used to say.”

126

Cameron Dane

Hunter’s answering grin seemed tremulous too. Still kneeling in front of Alex, he brushed the backs of his undamaged fingers against Alex’s cheek. “It’s an army expression.” “Is it? I didn’t know that. I should have guessed it, though. Mack is”—Alex lost the battle, and a rough sob escaped—“was army.” “I wasn’t aware.” Hunter squeezed Alex’s knee. “I hadn’t told you. Why would you know? I never really told anyone about Mack,” he admitted. “Just a few people who had to know where I was and how to reach me whenever I visited him. He was for me, you know? I didn’t want to share that valuable time we had together.” His heart suddenly struck with a sharp, stabbing pain, Alex grabbed at his chest. “I wonder if that was a mistake?” Holy shit, no. Alex sat up straighter, his heart sick. “Maybe he thought I was ashamed of him.” “I seriously doubt that.” “God, I hope not.” Sighing, Alex scrubbed his face with his hands. He felt like he hadn’t slept in months. “It would be the biggest regret in my life if I ever found out he died thinking I was trying to hide him. Hell”—Alex shot up and rushed into the house, his mind running a dozen steps ahead of his heart now—“I have a lot to do. I have to arrange a flight back to Georgia, and I have to start thinking about what I have to do when I get there.” He threw on his shirt, but with the buttons torn off, he left it hanging open. After that, he grabbed his shoes and socks and went to sit on the windowsill so he could put them on. Hunter shadowed the floor in front of him, and Alex found his mouth running to fill the silence. “I would have moments where I knew I should have some plans in place for his death, but I refused to do it because I didn’t want to face that he really would eventually die. Now I’ll have to figure it all out in record time.” Bullet points quickly started ticking in Alex’s mind. “I’ve never been responsible for the aftermath of anyone dying before.” He closed his eyes and let out an unsteady breath. When he blinked, he found Hunter crouching in front of him once more. “Definitely not anyone I loved,” he said, his voice now a raspy whisper. Hunter rubbed Alex’s thigh. The contact roused the bruising skin below, a reminder of the incredible, maybe disturbing, level of intimacy they’d shared such a short while ago. “Do you want me to come with you?” Hunter asked. “To Georgia. To help you lay Mack to rest, I mean?” This time Alex’s heart careened to a halt for an entirely different reason. “With how… With…” Son of a bitch. Alex couldn’t forget the scars he’d seen riddling Hunter’s chest and stomach, nor the lighter burn he’d drilled straight into his bare flesh. Alex grazed his fingers across Hunter’s shirt where he knew that burn still existed. “I know you have struggles of your own. Do you think coming with me is the wisest choice for you right now?”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

127

“God’s honest truth?” Hunter’s lips thinned, and his entire face filled with tension. “I don’t know.” His admission actually made Alex breathe easier. Hunter soothed Alex’s leg with his touch again, and his dark gaze held steady and true. “All I know is that you need someone, and I want to be that guy for you. I see you in pain right now, and all I want to do is comfort you in any way you’ll let me. In any way I’m capable.” He grasped his hands loosely around Alex’s fingers, swinging them between them. “I’m there if you want me.” Alex lifted Hunter’s hands and pressed kisses to the back of one and the glove covering the other. “I want you,” he said. As soon as he did, a little bit of the unbearable tightness left his chest, and his next breath didn’t hurt quite so much. Hunter pecked a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “Okay.” He took his hands back and walked backward to the open door. “Then I’ll go pack a bag and make a few calls. I’ll meet you at your trailer in an hour.” “Thank you. Hunt, I…” Alex jumped up. Hunter paused, clearly waiting, but whatever phrase lived in Alex’s heart wouldn’t come out. Not right now. “Just, thank you.” Hunter dipped his head. “Thanks aren’t necessary. I’ll see you soon.” As soon as Hunter left, tears pushed hard behind Alex’s eyes and threatened to fall again. God, Mack. Love swelled within Alex and strangled his throat. No. Cry later. Work now. Alex blinked and blinked and blinked until he successfully held himself together. He then made his first call.

*** The moment Alex stepped up to the dais to pay his respects to Mack, he got his first full glimpse of the small funeral home packed to the rafters and could not find his voice. Mack had never talked much about his work, although Alex had eventually learned Mack worked with veterans. Mack didn’t like to share the details of his job with others. He’d said, “Work is work, and home is home. Don’t bring one with you to the other.” Mack had never really brought people into his house either, so Alex had always considered him a solitary man at heart, much the way Alex privately considered himself. Today Alex knew better. And he was so fucking proud. Row after row after row of men and women in uniforms, many with their spouses, not only filled the pews of this room but stood along the sidewalls and lined the back of the space, all come to pay their respects to the wonderful man who was the star of the show today. Most had already stood up and shared a few words or a story about how Mack had stuck with them through all kinds of situations that involved figuring out a way to get past government red tape to get the help they needed to live their new lives outside of active duty. Many of their tales filled the room with laughter, but when it came to sharing their gratitude for Mack, not an eye remained dry in the house. Now Alex had the burden of sharing with a bunch of strangers—who were not that to Mack—what Mack meant to him. In his Boston offices, Alex could command

128

Cameron Dane

a room of a hundred people without blinking or breaking a sweat. But he’d never had to open up to any of those people about Mack. This was different. I have to get this right. Alex scanned the many faces, so full of expectations, and crazy bubbles of panic erupted in his belly. He thought he might vomit. Alex finally landed on one familiar face in the front row—his lifeline these past two days—and his stomach immediately started to settle. The proud tilt of Hunter’s chin and his focused, dark eyes guided Alex to find his center again. Hunter, in his army dress uniform, subtly nodded. He mouthed Take your time. Whatever you say will be perfect. Right. Alex let every second he’d spent in Mack’s company lift him up, as the man himself had done so many times in Alex’s life. Alex cleared his throat and faced the crowd again. “I’ll start by saying this: Mack hated it when I got mushy on him, so he’s not going to be too happy with me in a few minutes.” Alex reached out and touched the easel holding Mack’s picture. “I loved this special man. He hated when I told him that, so of course, I found ways to tell him as much as I could. He’d call me punk or boy, and in return I nicknamed him old man…”

*** Hunter stood with Alex outside the corrections facility, waiting with the man while he worked out in his mind whether he wanted to go inside. Alex had been through a lot in the past three days. They’d just come from seeing Mack’s lawyer, who had produced a letter Alex couldn’t let himself read quite yet. He’d said he knew what was inside it anyway: an order from Mack for Alex to make amends with his mother. “You don’t have to see her today,” Hunter said. He could not miss the way Alex hung back from the gates. Hunter wouldn’t be surprised if a guard came and said something to them again. “You’re not even sure what Mack’s letter says.” “No. I know,” Alex replied. “Aside from that, it’s visiting day.” He looked through the tall, barbed-wire fence to the drab gray buildings beyond. “It’s like I’m supposed to be here.” Shoulder to shoulder, Hunter studied the prison too. “All right.” Alex exhaled, shook out his shoulders, and stepped up to the gate. “I’m going to go in now.” He even jabbed the visitor buzzer. Hunter pointed across a pebbled quad. “I’ll wait for you right on that bench over there.” Nodding, Alex breathed visibly again. “Thank you.” “No problem.” Hunter backed away as a guard opened the gate. As Hunter walked to their designated meeting place, he did some breathing exercises too. Once again he silently reminded himself to stay focused on Alex. If he could, he would get through this without incident. From the moment Hunter had acted on impulse and asked Alex if he needed someone at his side, Hunter had approached comforting Alex like any mission he’d undertaken as part of a unit overseas. Back then he would break the mission into

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

129

manageable pieces and focus on getting the job done one stage at a time. So far he had tackled helping Alex the same way—one day, sometimes one hour, at a time. Any time Hunter felt his own emotions slipping in, if he began to think about how he’d burdened Sarah with far too many details in arranging their mother’s funeral, if his sympathy for Alex turned to empathy and induced the gripping need to cut himself, Hunter would slam it all down and refocus entirely on Alex and his loss. This isn’t about me. It’s about him. The mission is assisting, lending an ear, and taking care of Alex in his time of need. Hunter had spoken that mantra countless times since arriving in Georgia. So far it had worked. Even when sharing a pile of blankets as a bed on Mack’s living room floor. Alex wasn’t ready to sleep in Mack’s bed, he’d said, and Hunter certainly didn’t feel comfortable doing it either. The couch didn’t fold out, so they shared the floor. Alex had said he would put Hunter up at a hotel. Hunter could see the man wanted to be in his childhood home, though, and Hunter’s mission required close proximity to Alex, so Hunter had assured Alex that compared to some of the places he’d slept in Iraq and Afghanistan, the floor was luxury. They shared blankets, pillows, the remote control, and occasional whispers in the dead of night when neither could sleep. They had not engaged in sex. In those dark, quiet moments, just being near enough to hear the other person breathe dug under Hunter’s skin deeper than fucking Alex twice had. Those were the times Hunter had to continually refocus his thoughts on Alex and his needs or risk spiraling into panic when he thought about how much this time with Alex changed their relationship to something far more intimate than fuck buddies. Never far away, the knife in Hunter’s pocket provided solace. He fingered the blade right then, needing a dose of security, but stared at the prison a hundred yards away and centered his thoughts on Alex’s struggle behind those walls. Two more nights at his side—that was the duration of his mission. Forty-eight more hours of Hunter making sure he gave Alex everything he needed. Hunter could do it. Alex had them scheduled for a return flight to Montana after that. Beyond that Hunter didn’t know how the hell he would keep from harming himself when he got home. Don’t think about that right now. Only think about the next two days here with Alex and helping him. Hunter settled into the bench and waited.

*** An hour later, Hunter watched Alex approach, his long stride and blond hair already familiar. Hunter stood, ready when Alex reached him. “It went okay?” Hunter asked, even as he fingered the tension lines bracketing Alex’s mouth. “Yeah.” His arms crossed tightly against his chest, Alex glanced back at the prison. “It went all right. My mother seems”—he shrugged very stiff shoulders— “broken up about losing Mack, but okay.” As if becoming aware, Alex uncrossed his

130

Cameron Dane

arms and rolled his shoulders. At the same time, his bloodshot gaze found Hunter’s, and held. “She says she hasn’t slipped back into any of her vices since his death.” “Good.” “I suppose.” Alex stood on his own two legs, but he occasionally swayed, reminding Hunter how little the man had eaten recently. Dark smudges under Alex’s eyes tugged at Hunter too. Alex’s voice cracked a bit as he said, “I really want to go home now, though.” “I’ll drive.” Hunter tucked his arm around Alex’s waist and guided him toward the parking lot. He couldn’t control the ache in his heart when Alex leaned in and didn’t fight his lead.

*** Later that night, Alex stared straight up, trying to lose himself in the spinning overhead fan and the shadows the dim lighting cast on the popcorn ceiling. The air conditioning unit whirred, filling the living room with a low hum, but nothing could distract Alex from the sealed envelope he fidgeted with in his hands. Not even Hunter, leaning against the recliner some short three feet away, drew more than Alex’s occasional glance. Even in the humidity of a June night in Georgia, the man still wore a long-sleeved T-shirt and sweats to sleep. Or when pretending to watch TV, as he did right now. Alex had yet to see Hunter naked or even just without a shirt on—barring that brief glimpse of skin he’d gotten the night he’d witnessed Hunter burning himself. Not that Alex had made any attempt to catch Hunter in a state of undress during this time, but rather it just occurred to him right now it hadn’t even happened by accident while crossing paths to and from the shower. Nude is apparently no longer a natural or comfortable state for him. Mack had rarely shown his lower body out in public either. At home, though, once he’d gotten used to a younger Alex tagging behind him everywhere, he’d allowed Alex not only to see where the doctors had amputated his legs right below the knee but had let him feel the ridged scars too. Mack had also shared that he’d stepped on a mine in Iraq during the first Gulf War, and that worse than the initial pain had been the insanity of waking up in a triage unit twenty hours later to find half his legs gone. Alex squeezed his eyes shut. Mack. He covered his face with the sealed letter, as if doing so would hide from Mack the tear leaking down the side of his face and into his hair. The blankets near Alex’s hip stirred. A moment later, Hunter broke the silence. “I could read it for you, if you want me to.” He gently guided the envelope away from Alex’s face and took away Alex’s hiding place. Hunter’s brown eyes held the rich warmth of dark chocolate, as they so often had these last few days. “You’ve already visited your mother, so you obviously think Mack’s letter is more than an instruction to talk to her. If you didn’t, you would have opened it already.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

131

Holding the letter at arms’ length, Alex put a laser stare on it, as if looking hard enough might help him glean some information about its contents. “Even if it doesn’t have anything to do with my mother, I’m still glad I went.” Throughout his entire stilted visit with his mom, Alex could still see the pretty, young girl who’d loved her kid even if she rarely made the best choices for his safety and well-being. That young woman still called to Alex and made him want to jump on her bed to wake her up for a fun day of play. At the same time, Alex relived the days and days when she hadn’t come home, no word from her, and his teenage confusion, anger, and terror that his only legal parent had abandoned him. Both versions had left their marks in different parts of Alex’s soul and psyche. A practical adult now, Alex made the choices and ran his life, so he tried not to let those childhood voices guide his current decisions. Alex found Hunter’s gaze and clung to it as he’d done repeatedly since learning of Mack’s death. “I don’t think my mother and I can ever be close again,” he admitted, “but she did keep a roof over my head for all the years before the gambling took over her life. Mack stepped in then—before that, really—and I have her to thank for that too. If he hadn’t found something about her so dynamic and compelling that he couldn’t stay away, he never would have moved in and eventually become the foundation for my life.” “So then why are you afraid to open his letter?” “I’m not afraid.” Alex pushed up to lean against the couch. Resting his elbows on his knees, he held the letter by the top corners, his stare locked on the tiny chicken-scratch scribble of his first name. “It’s just…” The more he stared at Mack’s awful handwriting, the tighter his chest constricted. “It’s just…” Alex found Hunter again, desperate for something solid and real. “This letter will be the last new words Mack ever speaks to me, you know? After this”—he tapped the white envelope—“it will all be memories. There won’t be anything new. He’ll really be gone then.” “True. But I’d imagine if Mack took the time to write this note to you, he would want you to read it.” As Hunter spoke, a clap of thunder erupted and shook the walls. Within seconds, heavy sheets of rain battered the windows, making it sound as if thousands of miniscule pebbles hit the house. “I doubt his intentions were for you to tuck it away somewhere so you never have to hear his final good-bye.” A bolt of lightning zapped right outside the window just then, making it seem as if something otherworldly put an exclamation point on Hunter’s thought. Alex narrowed his stare at the sudden storm outside and then dropped his focus to Mack’s note. Did you do that to make your agreement with Hunter clear? Immediately Alex chuckled. Oh God. I’m losing it now. He looked between the window and the letter. Hunter’s comments penetrated, and Alex realized he didn’t need divine intervention to do the right thing. “You’re right, Hunt.” Alex nodded, grateful. “He wrote it because he wanted me to read it.” Biting the bullet, Alex slipped his finger under the flap and tore the envelope open. The moment he pulled out the single folded sheet of paper inside, the rain softened to a gentle patter. As Alex unfolded the note, he lifted his gaze to

132

Cameron Dane

Hunter again. “Can I read it to you?” he asked, a combination of shyness and pride making him a bit unsteady. Hunter settled his elbows on his raised knees. “I would be honored.” Alex exhaled, trying to shake the thumping, crazily erratic beat drumming in his chest. “Okay.” He saw his name at the top of the page and somehow successfully fended off a fresh set of tears. “Here we go. Dear Alexander, I don’t have much money, and you have too much, so I know you’ll understand why I split what I had among the veterans’ charities that do such good work for people like me. I think you would like that. For a long time I thought the only thing I did right in my life was my time in the military. I thought that was the one thing I’d feel pride in when I died. I was wrong. I think I did right by you. You’re a fine man today, and I think maybe I had a little something to do with that. I want you to have my dog tags and my uniforms. It seems only fitting the two best things I did in my life should be together. As to the rest of the stuff, donate what you can and toss the rest. Don’t feel bad or sick about throwing my stuff away. I’ve given you the only things that mattered to me. You know I hate mushy stuff and all that sentimental crap, but always know this: I love you, Alex. You gave me someone to care about and take care of when deep down I thought I was all used up and only fit for the trash. Your mama loves you too. She thinks about you all the time and always asks how you’re doing. I know you didn’t want me to, but whenever I went to see her, I always let her know everything going on with you. If you feel like you can, give her a chance when you’re ready. I don’t think you’ll regret it. I’ll be watching out for you from heaven. Here’s some more sentimental crap, except with you I’ve discovered it isn’t crap after all. No matter where I am, I’ll always be in your heart, and you’ll always be in mine. All my love, and most importantly, my respect and admiration, Mack” “Wow,” Alex whispered. He looked up through a blur and found Hunter wiping tears too. “So that’s what he wrote.” Possessed, Alex ran his fingers over all the words, as if doing so would allow him to absorb the sentiment in another way. “I should have known he’d pull out all the stops in the end.” Hunter loudly cleared his throat. “That’s a good man. He put everything down on paper for you so you could read it whenever you need him.” Staring down at this display of love slipped Alex backward in time. “He was only like this with me one other time in my life.” Alex glanced toward the hallway and could see his skinnier, younger self folded against the wall on the floor. “I did something stupid I thought would end up killing our relationship. Instead, in a weird way, it somehow made us closer than ever.” Stretching out on his side, Hunter asked, “What did you do?” It was the last time I took a leap without knowing where I would land.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

133

“I was twenty and home from college for Christmas.”

*** Late into the wee hours of Christmas Eve, Alex carefully turned his key in the lock, determined to surprise Mack with his presence on Christmas morning. Alex hadn’t thought he’d have enough money for a plane ticket home, and Mack couldn’t afford to help him either. But in the last week, a side investment Alex had gambled on outside of his schooling had paid off. Alex had stumbled into a bidding war for that bargain property—a decaying strip mall he’d purchased with a loan he figured he could turn a modest profit on at best. Now he had enough money to make a couple of good property investments next year, as well as a bit left over to modernize this house for Mack. All while still working toward his degree. He continued to excel in his courses, he’d finally bought himself a beat-up, used car…and ever since Thanksgiving, he realized he was knee-deep in love. God. Alex breathed in and let the familiar scents of Mack absorb into his being. I missed you so much. Alex set his bags down by the front door and moved through the house in the dark. He knew all the footpaths in this house and couldn’t wait to tweak the joint to make it easier for Mack to function. Of course, Alex would be home more to make things easier too. He had already looked into transferring to a very respected university in Atlanta. It didn’t have ivy covering its brick walls like the college he attended now did, but then again, his current school didn’t have Mack within driving distance. That’s what matters most. Soft strains of Christmas music streamed from Mack’s room. Alex stepped over the threshold to find a side lamp still on and the TV airing a choral holiday special. He switched off the television but left the low light on. Mack liked to be able to see in case he had to maneuver into his chair to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The man in question lay asleep on his back, and the sight of him so peaceful drew Alex to the bed. Mack’s raven hair stood out in sharp contrast to the pure white bedding, and the breadth of his thick, bare shoulders showed proudly with equal prominence against the crisp white comforter. Beauty slept inches from Alex, and Alex’s heart lurched with the need to share the bundle of new feelings living inside him. For Mack. On Thanksgiving, Alex had looked across the dinner table—just the two of them trying to make the day special—and realized everything he wanted sat less than a dozen feet away. Mack had shifted from dependable and attractive to downright sexy in Alex’s eyes. For the rest of the three-day weekend, Alex had lived in fear Mack would look at him and figure out the truth. In the four weeks since, Alex had not only come to accept his feelings but embrace them. He loved Mack. He wanted a life with the man—any kind he could get. He would accept friendship in shared quarters but just knew if he could take care of Mack and become everything

134

Cameron Dane

he needed, Mack would realize Alex was special too and they were meant to be together. The more Alex looked, the more his fingers itched to touch. He ached to show his love and wanted something permanent and real. Strands of dark hair fanning across Mack’s forehead called to Alex, and he needed to connect so terribly he didn’t fight it. Alex brushed the backs of his fingers across Mack’s forehead, so tentatively at first, and just sat staring in wonderment where his hand touched Mack’s silky hair. Still sleeping, Mack nuzzled into the contact, and Alex’s heart soared. “You sweet man.” Alex grazed his fingertips across Mack’s soft lips. “You have no idea how much I love you.” Mack suddenly gasped and blinked, revealing his pale, lovely gaze. “Alex.” He pushed up onto his elbows. “What are you doing here?” “I came home for you.” Drowning too fast in this man he loved, but unable to stop the flood, Alex leaned in and kissed Mack on the lips. The moment their mouths came into contact—Mack’s lips warmer and softer and more incredible than Alex had even fantasized—Alex moaned. He slashed his lips across Mack’s again and kissed him harder, desperate to take a deeper taste of someone he loved who loved him back. Mack opened his mouth, and Alex wanted that very thing so much he shoved his tongue inside, completely not processing the mumbles coming from the man beneath him. Mack reared into his pillow and turned his head. “Alex. Alex.” He clamped his hand around Alex’s shoulder, pushing against Alex’s attempt to kiss him again. “Stop it.” “No, it’s okay.” Alex peppered kisses over Mack’s cheek and part of his forehead, anywhere he could peck to show his feelings. “I promise it’s okay, Mack. I love you.” Every bit of history between them welled in Alex’s heart and mind, and he blurted, “I know you love me too.” Mack whipped his head around. “No, Alex.” Cool fire burned in his pale eyes. “Not in that way.” Panic clogged Alex’s throat. “You can’t say that. You don’t know because you’ve never tried.” Fear of losing this relationship before it even started had Alex scrambling. “I can do things.” Always make a sound case. Just like Mack taught you to do. Use it on him. It hit Alex. Yes. Alex didn’t need firsthand experience with Mack to already know his body. “I can do things you’ll love. I know how to make you feel good.” Alex’s heart slammed against his chest, and his hand shook like hell, but he reached down between Mack’s legs. “I know how to make you come.” He dipped down and kissed Mack again just as he pushed his hand inside the man’s underwear. Mack exploded. “Stop it!” He reared upright, but Alex stayed with him, frantic to get Mack hard so he would understand they could have passionate sex as well as love between them. Alex closed his hand around Mack’s shaft, but Mack only shoved and shouted, “Stop it now, Alex! Fucking get off me!” He rammed his fists into Alex,

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

135

slamming Alex in the shoulder and chest with knockout-worthy force, and sent Alex careening over the side of the bed. Alex hit the hardwood floor with a jarring thud. Acute, radiating fire flamed up from his tailbone and shot a line of liquid fire up his spine—all of which thrust him headfirst back into reality. Alex blinked, first to get rid of the spots, only to then have his vision clear and see Mack on the bed, obviously very agitated, adjusting his underwear. “Oh my God.” Alex covered his mouth, gagging as the first wave of bile threatened to come up. “You’re the best person in the world, and I molested you.” Alex could still feel his fingers around Mack’s penis. Only, his brain now registered Mack beneath him, fighting him the whole way. Alex suddenly wanted nothing so much as to cut his hand off so he never again experienced phantom sensations of the horrific thing he’d done this night. Alex couldn’t bear to look Mack in the eyes. “I’m so sorry.” He choked back the loss crushing his soul. “I won’t come near you ever again.” He rolled over blindly and tried to get his feet under him, but he shook too much and fell back to his knees. “Alex!” Metal crashing into wood ricocheted behind Alex. Mack cursed and called out, “Wait!” but Alex didn’t dare obey. I can’t. Alex crawled on all fours, the front door and the oblivion beyond his only goal. He didn’t know what he would do once he got outside; he just knew he could never come back to this house. No. Alex slipped on the slick hardwood. The second his knee went out from under him, a hand closed around his ankle and yanked him back into the hallway. Mack pushed Alex against the wall and held him there with a hand to his chest. Alex kept his focus on the floor. He didn’t know if he would survive seeing hatred or disgust in Mack’s eyes. Mack pulled himself to sit in front of Alex. “I told you to wait, damn it.” Surliness edged his tone. “My chair got away from me, and I goddamn had to claw my way across the floor to get to you.” “Don’t look at me.” Alex buried his face in his hands, his body shuddering with shame. “I’m disgusting.” Once again Mack shared a string of foul words. He grabbed a tuft of Alex’s hair and yanked him out of hiding. Suddenly his stare seemed a deeper, even more piercing blue. “I don’t want to hear you saying that kind of shit about yourself.” His mouth twisted as he struggled to right himself directly in front of Alex. “You’re too smart. You know better.” “I attacked you. God”—Alex looked over Mack’s shoulder to the disheveled room beyond, and a terrible, broken noise ripped through him—“I might have raped you if you hadn’t stopped me.” Mack shook his head with vehemence. “You’re confused about your feelings, but you’re not a rapist. You would not have hurt me.” He studied Alex, and his stare slashed to narrow slits. “Nor would you ever hurt anyone else, so get that out of

136

Cameron Dane

your head right now.” He tapped Alex’s noggin with a blunt fingertip. “I can see those wheels spinning behind your eyes. Stop it now.” Alex pushed the back of his head into the cold wall. Wetness leaked down his cheeks. “I thought—” He looked at Mack and began to crumble. “I thought if I could make you feel good and show you how much I love you, then you would naturally fall in love with me too.” Tears pooled in Mack’s eyes. “Ahh, punk.” He scooted somehow closer and wrapped his arms around Alex’s bent legs. “I can’t love you back like that. It’s not who I am. Besides which, you’re not really in love with me that way either. You love me. We’re friends, but it’s not a romantic or sexual love.” Alex grabbed Mack’s hands. “It is for me.” He clutched tighter, imploring. “You’re wonderful. I am in love with you.” Mack shook his head again. “Listen to me. I’m safe. I’m what you know.” When Alex moved to hide his eyes, Mack grabbed a fistful of his hair and forced him to keep his chin high. “You’ve had crushes on boys, but you’re getting to a place where you’re ready for something more, something with a man, and that’s scary. God knows I’m no help in guiding you through this part of your life. But I am here for you. We talk. We hang when you’re home. I’m someone you already know you can trust. I’m comfortable. You’ve jumbled that all in your head with your sexuality and with being ready to have sex, and you directed it all at me. But in your heart you know I’m not what you really want. What you really want—and deserve—is someone who can get excited and passionate about you too. That’s not me.” He quickly added, “Not like that anyway.” Heat filled Alex’s face. “How do you know I haven’t already had tons of sex?” “Because I know you,” Mack said without hesitation. “I would see the change in you if you had. You haven’t had sex yet.” Alex looked, and God how he loved. “I wanted it to be with you,” he admitted, his voice cracking. A frown creased Mack’s roughly handsome face. “That’s one thing we won’t do together. I’m sorry.” Tension slid from Alex, leaving him listless. He felt as if he’d just finished one of his five-mile runs. “You know,” he shared, sighing, “it might be easier if you hated me and I disgusted you.” Glints of blue flames once again dominated Mack’s eyes. “I could never hate you, punk, and don’t forget it. Nothing you could ever do would disgust me or make me sever our friendship.” He pushed back, creating space between them, but never once looked away. “I’m still prouder of you than just about anyone I’ve ever known, and I always will be. No matter who you fuck.” “Right. Well”—Alex chuckled, something between bleak and hopeful, and wiped snot from his runny nose—“I came home to seduce you, but clearly we’re not going to spend a week together in bed.” He braced himself on Mack’s shoulder and

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

137

got to his feet. “What the hell else are we going to do for the next seven days now?” he asked, backing into the bedroom to retrieve Mack’s tipped chair. Mack flashed a weak smile. “Go to Disneyworld?” “You want to?” Alex rushed back over with the chair, new energy pushing in to crowd out some of the rejection. “I can afford to take you.” As he assisted Mack into his wheelchair, Alex began to share his good news. “Part of why I’m here is because I wanted to tell you in person about this huge property deal I cashed in on.”

*** Back in his childhood living room, Alex grinned wistfully. “That was Mack. Mostly gruff and crusty, but eloquent, kind, and gentle as hell when necessary.” “You really were in love with him,” Hunter murmured, locked on Alex. “It wasn’t a phase. It was romantic and real. More than he ever understood. Am I right?” Alex pressed Mack’s letter to his heart. “Yeah. I believe I was.” His chest squeezed with sweet pain when Hunter just listened, rather than revealing revulsion at Alex’s confession. “It wasn’t weird or unnatural for me because I never saw Mack as a father. He just slowly, over time, became my best friend and the person I trusted most in my world. He was right in one sense, though. I had been away from home for a little while at that point. I felt a little freer and had kissed a few boys. Except every time I did I thought about Mack and none of the other boys quite measured up, you know? I mean”—Alex grabbed a photo off the end table and thrust it at Hunter—“look at the guy.” Hunter studied the candid picture of Mack immersed in a book by his favorite author. Handing it back, Hunter said, “He was undeniably sexy.” “He was.” Alex touched the man in the photograph before shrugging and setting it back on the table. “I did learn to accept Mack could never want me the way I wanted him. I got past my feelings and let our relationship settle back into what it was supposed to be.” Hunter shifted the intense stare he’d put on the picture to straight on Alex. “But his illness and his death has sparked those bittersweet memories and made it all the harder to let him go.” Knowledge lived in his gaze. Before Alex’s brain even told him to answer, he whispered, “Yeah, it has.” His words, the intimacy of the room, the brevity of what he’d shared with Hunter—stuff he’d never told another human being—suddenly attacked Alex and left him feeling as if he sat alone in the middle of a big spotlight. “Holy God.” He rubbed at moisture on his neck. “I feel like I’ve cut my torso open right down the middle and let you see inside. We have to get even here.” He hugged a pillow to his chest and looked at the only other person in the house. “Your turn, Hunt. Tell me something equally private about you.” Hunter paled.

138

Cameron Dane

Chapter Eleven Oh hell. Hunter should have known better than to trust this moment between him and Alex wouldn’t require some participation from him. Already in the clothes he planned to sleep in, he didn’t have his knife on him to touch and grip to help him stay calm. Breathe and focus. Hunter absorbed Alex’s open vulnerability, so close he could reach out and touch the new lines bracketing his eyes, and something instinctual, something higher than himself, clicked into place and slowed his heartbeat. Think about the mission. Focus on Alex. This is about him. “Hunt?” That smooth voice, now gravelly from lack of sleep, pulled Hunter to the haggard yet beautiful man sitting across from him. “I won’t say you have to tell me something,” Alex said, “but God knows I’ve told you and shown you more things in these last three days than I have any man I’ve ever known.” With a pillow hugged to his chest, Alex laid his head to rest on the couch behind him, but rolled it and grabbed eye contact again. “It’s not truly quid pro quo. You don’t have to talk, but God’s honest truth, you had my interest from the day we first bumped into each other.” Warmth filled his gaze and flushed his skin. “It’s obviously only grown since then.” Share something to help him. Too many possible confessions raced like headlines in front of Hunter’s eyes—awful, freakish, shameful things, rendering him mute. Where the fuck would I begin? Alex fidgeted with the pillow. He rubbed his thumb repeatedly over the faded fabric, looked away, whispered, “Fuck,” and then came back, finding Hunter again. “I’ve heard you mumble the name Will when you sleep. It seems to distress you.” Shock pushed Hunter up straighter. “Do I?” Raising his brow, Alex nodded. “You do.” Shit. Hunter snapped his gaping mouth shut. “I had no idea.” “Is Will important to you? Crap.” Alex mumbled another swear word and thumped his head. “That was stupid. Obviously he’s important to you or you wouldn’t dream about him.” With his cheek resting on the edge of the worn couch cushion, Alex softly asked, “Will you tell me who he is?” Every safety warning inside Hunter slammed him at once. His chest pounded too fast to breathe comfortably, adrenaline pumped through his system and broke him out in a sweat, and his throat clamped in an effort to keep words and confessions shoved deep down in a protected place inside him. Through all that,

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

139

Will’s devil-may-care image consumed Hunter’s sight and thoughts, and Hunter’s love for the man wouldn’t let him keep the soldier in the darkness anymore. Pushing to sit, Hunter drew his legs up and hugged his knees to his chest. “Will is—was—I guess he still is, a great friend. A lifeline.” The man’s loud, obnoxious laugh bubbled in Hunter’s thoughts and tugged forth a smile. “He kept me alive and sane for a long time overseas. We overlapped on two tours and became very close.” Warm glints of forest shadowed Alex’s gaze. “I would imagine having a real friend is invaluable when you’re fighting in a war.” “We couldn’t have been more different in most ways. Stateside, it’s unlikely our paths ever would have crossed.” Hunter’s military heart filled with pride for the job and the often-odd friendships unit cohesion created among its ranks. “But his dirty, outgoing personality kept me laughing and boosted so much in a place where I felt like my time would never end. And then…” Blood filled Hunter’s vision, and the constant rat-a-tat of gunfire made him cover his ears. “Hunt?” Alex pulled Hunter’s arms back to his sides. “Are you all right?” Concern filled his eyes. Locked in on Alex, Hunter, his voice raspy, said, “Then Will died.” Alex surrounded Hunter with open legs and arms. “I’m so sorry, man.” He kissed Hunter’s knuckles one at a time. “So fucking sorry.” For the first time in front of an audience, Hunter found himself slipping back to one of the darkest moments in his life, unable to pull the nightmare back. “We were working as part of a special IED task force in Iraq. It’s dangerous but prestigious work. You have to volunteer to become a member of the unit, and you have to prove your worth in order for the commanding officer to select you for the job. We both got it. Then about halfway through our tour…”

*** From the back of the covered vehicle, Hunter fist bumped Will where he sat in the passenger side of the front seat. “That was an insanely good find.” Adrenaline from successfully disengaging a roadside bomb kept Hunter animated and high on life. Out on a scouting mission, Will Hicks had spotted the tiny wire sticking out from the sand from forty meters away. Hunter hooted and thumped Will on the shoulder for the forth, maybe fifth time. “You’re a fucking hero today.” From the front seat, Will beamed and shot the bird with both hands at the vast, endless desert all around them, while other soldiers in the back of the truck with Hunter shouted, “Hicks from the sticks!” and “Booya!” and “Best eyes in this fucking place.” Hunter reached into the front seat and smacked Will in the chest. “Goddamn put a Superman logo on your uniform,” he said, ignoring the sting in his hand from hitting Will’s Kevlar vest.

140

Cameron Dane

“Thanks, man.” Smiling like a good ol’ boy seeing his first naked woman, Will jabbed Hunter in the arm right back. “I couldn’t have taken that sucker apart without you. That was some fucking weird wiring.” He shifted in his seat to stick his head through the opening to the back of the truck. “Have any of ya’ll ever seen anything like it?” All the guys shook their heads. From the driver’s seat, Master Sergeant Gabon said, “I’ll upload the photos and video as soon as—” Boom! Boom! In rapid succession, two thunderous explosions hit the right side of their vehicle, rocking and shaking tons of metal as if it were a snow globe. The rockets upended the truck and sent it spinning in the air, along with all the soldiers inside. Hunter slammed into the side of the truck, then crashed into the roof and into another person. His body—and everyone else’s—flew like pinballs trapped in a machine. Pain combusted in Hunter’s head and sliced through his back, and he barely managed to tuck himself into a ball as the truck hit a dune and started rolling. It felt as though they turned and were battered forever, but eventually the truck stopped on its roof. Once it did, Hunter couldn’t see clearly, and his ears rang with deafening volume, the sound screeching in his skull. He didn’t think he’d ever heard a worse sound when suddenly his master sergeant shouted, “Cover! Cover! Cover!” and broke through, along with, “Hicks is down! Someone cover Hicks!” No! Pain and ringing ceased to exist in Hunter’s body and ears. The source of the blood running down the side of his face didn’t matter. He scrambled through the opening to the front of the truck and clawed his way over a broken windshield, careless of the shards cutting his hands. Gunfire riddled the suffocating, thick desert air, but Hunter left his gun strapped to his back, desperate to find Hicks and use the bullets to protect him. “Give me his position!” Hunter screamed, knowing his master sergeant had to be somewhere nearby, even if Hunter couldn’t see him through the whipping sand. Gabon’s muffled voice reached Hunter from behind; the man probably used the upended vehicle as cover. “He’s pinned under the other truck! It looks like Hammerstein and Cotter”—the two soldiers driving and riding shotgun in the second truck—“are dead. I don’t see any movement inside from the others.” Enemy fire drowned the Master Sergeant’s words even more. “I’m covering Lucas! I can’t get to Hicks, but I saw his head move. He’s still alive.” Scanning, scanning, Hunter finally homed in on the upper half of a familiar body sticking out from under the side of an armored vehicle some fifty meters away. Shit. Will. Please. A savage roar escaped Hunter, but too much gunfire drowned out his anguish. “Someone cover me!” He pulled a handgun from his gear-belt and got himself into a crouch. “I’m going!” “Now! Now! Now!” Gabon’s command thundered above the weapons firing. “Run now!” Hunter tucked his head and booked across the open sand, waving his gun in the direction of enemy fire. He popped off a few rounds, just in case, and then did a

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

141

baseball slide into place next to Will. Right on top of him, another body dived for home. Hunter raised his gun on instinct but immediately lowered it when the army uniform registered in his brain. Bradford, a compact, mahogany-skinned sergeant first class with a crack shot, immediately took point behind a wheel. “You take care of him.” First he banged on the side of the truck and shouted their unit name, just in case someone was alive inside. He then used the fender to steady his weapon and took a half-dozen shots toward the road. A muffled scream said he’d hit at least one of their attackers. “I’ll cover you both.” He fired his gun a few more times. “The master sergeant has Lohan on the radio trying to reach camp for assistance.” One quick assessment of Will had Hunter stifling another barbaric shout. Son of a bitch. A road map of gashes riddled Will’s face, telling Hunter the guy had flown headfirst through that busted windshield. The second truck had landed sideways and had Will buried under it from the hips down, but that barely registered with Hunter as more than mere information. A thick, hollow steel bar, dislodged from the blown-up truck, had penetrated Will’s lower belly—just under where his Kevlar vest ended—with such force it drove more than half the pole through his body, surely indicating the bar had exited through the small of Will’s back and sank straight into the sand. Crimson saturated Will’s fatigues around the hole. There’s not a damn thing I can do. Screams and shouts and tears shrieked through Hunter on the inside, battering his organs, guts, and muscles, leaving no part of his being unscathed. On the outside, he dug a little ditch in the sand under Will’s body and tucked himself in under his friend to cradle him in his arms. “Jesus, Hicks.” Hunter rubbed his thumbs across Will’s cheeks, uncaring that he smeared the blood even worse. “You didn’t have to do this to get that redhead in supplies to notice you.” Will blinked and showed Hunter clear, hazel eyes. “She’s so pretty, though. Be sure to”—he coughed up thick, almost black blood—“tell her what I did today. Okay?” “No.” Hunter shook his head, needing to make himself believe. “You’ll tell her yourself. Help is on the way. We’re going to get you all fixed up.” Hunter rubbed his hands vigorously up and down Will’s arms, trying to push heat and life back into the man. “Maybe you’ll hook up with a nurse while you’re recuperating.” “I don’t think so.” Lifting his head to look at the huge bar running right through his body, Will groaned, coughed up more blood, and dropped his head back into Hunter’s lap. “I think I got my number punched pretty good today.” “No. Huh-uh.” Hunter undid his gear, tore off his heavy uniform shirt, and tossed the camouflage fabric over the pole. “Don’t look at it. You’re gonna be okay. You have to be.” He found Will’s hands and squeezed. “For me.” “Fuck.” Sucking in a gurgled breath, Will blinked as wetness started to streak his blood-covered cheeks. “I really wanted to go home a hero and get all the girls.”

142

Cameron Dane

“Shh.” Sounds of life inside the truck barely registered in Hunter’s ears. He could do no more than focus on Will in this terrified state without losing it and bawling worse than Will. “You are a hero. You’ll get all the girls you want.” Under Hunter’s fingers, Will’s pulse slipped to thready. “Listen.” Will somehow found the strength to reach up and clutch Hunter’s shoulder. “You gotta do it for me now. You gotta get lots of ass when you go home. Go to New York.” Shards of gold, brown, and green shone brightly in his eyes. “Have fun, like we were planning on doing.” “We still will.” It barely moved, but Will shook his head. “No. You have to do something for me. Promise me.” Around them, more soldiers from the armored truck joined Bradford in holding the enemy from overtaking this vehicle, but Hunter could only see Will. “Anything,” Hunter whispered. “Anything you want.” “Find the prettiest, funnest, sweetest girl in New York.” Will’s eyes shone brighter, and a small, honest-to-God grin appeared. “Someone who likes to grab life by the balls.” A strangled chuckle choked Hunter and tore at his heart. “You want a ball grabber. Got it.” “You have to let go and have a wild night with her, man. I know it ain’t what you usually want”—hacking racked his frame and produced more blood—“but you gotta just dive right into her and lose yourself. It’ll be like I get one more shot.” Wetness took over Will’s stare. “I really wanted one more chance.” The tears fell faster than Hunter could wipe them away. “Don’t talk like that.” For Will, Hunter somehow held down his screams. “You’ll get her yourself.” “Promise me, Tenny.” With a surge of strength, Will crushed his fingers into Hunter’s biceps. “If you say it, I know you’ll do it.” Nodding, Hunter uttered brokenly, “I promise.” “You’re a good friend.” Tension leaked from Will’s upper body. “Once you get the girl, ball a lot of guys too.” A bark of laughter scratched Hunter’s throat. “Thanks for the permission. Maybe I will.” “I’m getting cold.” Will darted his stare all around as clouds moved in, making his eyes milky. “It’s hard to see you.” Hunter put his face right down on Will’s. “There.” He caressed Will’s cheeks and hair over and over again, letting the man feel his presence. “Is that better?” “Don’t leave me.” The words barely squeaked past Will’s lips. He held on to Hunter’s arms like a boa constrictor trying to squeeze the life out of its prey. “I don’t want to die alone.” “I’m not going anywhere.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

143

Fifteen minutes later, amid gunfire, Will’s hands slipped from Hunter’s arms. A wash of warm air covered Hunter’s face a second later. It was the last breath Will Hicks ever took.

*** “I bet you did it too.” Alex’s smooth voice brought Hunter back into the present. He now sat back against the couch, the pillow once again hugged to his stomach. “You found a girl you knew Will would like and spent the night with her.” “I did.” Gruffness encased Hunter’s response. “It was like I could feel him there, and that made it good.” That night with a larger-than-life blonde medical student still made Hunter grin. “I don’t mean I was imagining the girl was him, so it was like I was having sex with him. It was more like somehow a piece of my desires stepped to the side, and Will moved inside me and channeled all this passion and excitement for a woman for one night. I don’t know.” Hunter shrugged, amazed he’d found his voice and his eyes remained dry. “Maybe I just listened to him talk raunchily yet somehow poetically about his love for women and sex so much it wasn’t that hard to find him inside me that night.” “What about the guys?” Alex asked. “Did you go crazy with one-night stands with men like he wanted you to?” “No.” As Hunter looked at Alex, this man he hardly knew yet had taken twice now with little finesse or care, heat burned his face. “It might sound improbable to you, but easy lays were never really my style, and I couldn’t make myself adopt it.” His lips thinned to a tight smile. “Not even for Will.” “Did you…” Alex suddenly clamped his lips tight enough to turn them white. Through his eyes, it looked like he held an entire back-and-forth conversation in his head. He then blurted, “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but did you lose your fingers in the attack that killed Will?” “This?” Hunter held up his gloved hand. “No. I have a scar on my back from it, but I lost the fingers when shrapnel from a different skirmish got me.” Although he kept his hand covered, Hunter could remember that morning without flinching. “It actually sliced all four of them off. Heat from the metal turned my skin into hamburger, but one of the guys in my unit found two of my fingers intact. We were able to preserve them and get back to base fast enough for the surgeons to reattach them.” “Bad enough wound to get you sent home, though.” “No.” Fuck. Hunter shifted to stare at the TV, needing a minute to regroup. Fucking shit. This was the real reason why he didn’t like showing his hand. The questions it brought up led to the truth—or a bunch of lies. Hunter couldn’t lie to Alex. Not after the last three days. He’s seen some of it already. Just tell him. Nodding to himself, convincing himself, Hunter turned back around and made eye contact with Alex again. “Men and women are still contributing overseas with injuries worse than mine. When I lost my fingers, the doctor obviously had to check me over to make sure I didn’t

144

Cameron Dane

have any other wounds that needed tending to. When he did”—Hunter swallowed convulsively—“he saw what you saw that night at your trailer.” “The other scars,” Alex said in a hushed tone. Still, even though Alex already knew, Hunter found it difficult to nod and talk. “He astutely noticed many of them weren’t from war and reported me to my commanding officer, who then reported me to the general in charge of the base. One trip to a psychiatrist later and the military discharged me with thanks for my service. They need soldiers, but they don’t want mentally unstable ones who could lose it at any moment and get an entire unit killed.” Alex wiped the corner of his eye. “Dishonorably?” “No. It’s actually very rare for someone to get a dishonorable discharge from service. You have to do something pretty bad. You don’t even get an honorable discharge very often. That kind of stuff is mostly in movies. Generally people just get a standard discharge when they’ve completed their time or an injury prevents them from serving any longer. I was near to the end of my enlistment anyway, and my record clearly showed I’d put more than enough time in both Iraq and Afghanistan in service to my country. My commander argued for me in front of the general. He said the military shouldn’t put this psych evaluation and its findings on my record. It would taint all the years I’d put in and served well. He convinced the general to officially discharge me because of my hand, but really it was because of what I was doing to myself.” A glint of lamplight caught the piercing depth in Alex’s stare. “What you’re still doing to yourself.” With a curt nod, Hunter said, “Yes.” “Did Will’s death start it?” Hunter took long, uncomfortable minutes in silence, breathing in and out, regulating his heartbeat, until he could speak without cracking in front of Alex. “I was on the verge a lot before that, but Will kept me one step ahead of insanity. When he died, I knew if I let myself sink into that loss, I would never recover. I would go insane. So every time I started to sense any wash of feelings wanting to erupt, I would channel it in another way until it passed.” Alex’s focus slipped to Hunter’s torso. “By hurting yourself.” His pity conjured a growl in Hunter. “By redirecting my destructive thoughts and feelings into a tangible, physical pain and overcoming it,” he corrected. “How long ago did Will die?” “It has been twenty months and ten days now.” “Good God, Hunt.” Alex wiped his face, reminding Hunter of the lines and dark smudges around his eyes. “What you must have done to yourself in that time.” Hunter’s chest squeezed for Alex, but self-preservation had him speaking through clenched teeth. “I do what I need to do to survive.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

145

Alex suddenly tossed the pillow aside and walked on his knees to Hunter’s side. “Let me see.” “What?” What Alex wanted hit Hunter in the gut, and he reared into the plush recliner behind him. “No.” The man only moved in closer. “Let me see.” He didn’t grab, but determination fired his tone. “Alex, no.” Hunter scrambled up to the seat and pushed into the dark fabric. “Please.” “Shh. It’s all right.” Alex moved into the opening between Hunter’s legs. “I’ve let you inside me twice now,” he shared, offering a wobbly smile. “I’ve never done that with anyone before.” Damn it. “Fucking A, man.” Hunter could only remember the aggression he’d used with this man, and his stomach churned. “Never?” “Never. But look at me.” Alex spread his arms. “I’m fine.” He did shift back onto his ankles, giving Hunter a bit of space, but didn’t give him room to run. “I think you can trust me enough to show me your scars.” Oh Jesus Christ. Will—Trey. Help me. Nobody answered. Hunter trembled terribly, but he lifted his arms. Alex pressed a kiss to Hunter’s temple and then removed his shirt.

146

Cameron Dane

Chapter Twelve The shirt cleared Hunter’s head, leaving his upper body bare. Exposed. He heard Alex gasp and could fucking feel the man studying the hundreds of big slashes marring his skin, the tiny groupings of razor cuts, and dozens of circle burn marks from lighters. Hunter had looked at himself in a mirror enough to know the exact mapping of his damaged body—particularly the self-inflicted atrocities—but he couldn’t yet face seeing the horror in another man’s eyes. In Alex’s eyes. Please. Hunter kept his attention on the muted eighties sitcom playing on the TV, his body shaking all over. Let me get through this without losing my shit. Just this one time. Hunter didn’t know to whom he prayed, he just begged for someone or something out there to answer. Alex stayed between Hunter’s spread legs, but he didn’t touch. “Let’s see the rest.” His voice held steady with sure, gentle command. “Give me your hand.” Hunter didn’t have to ask which one. He could do this. You already held his dick with it anyway. As he lifted his gloved hand to Alex, still unable to risk looking into his eyes, Hunter breathed and managed to bring his shivering down to an occasional tremor. With a whispered, “Thank you for trusting me,” Alex unbuckled the tall glove and slid the leather off Hunter’s hand. Still, his fingers did not graze Hunter’s skin. “Now lift up so I can take off your sweats.” With Alex so fully in charge now, Hunter no longer believed he had the ability to say no. Hunter did Alex’s bidding without speaking, without eye contact. Once Hunter braced his weight on the arms of the recliner, Alex removed Hunter’s sweats, revealing more of his scars. Soft, dark hair covered Hunter’s thighs, concealing some of the pale aftermath of repeated cuttings, but the more visible, soft skin on his inner thighs told a similar story to his chest, stomach, and arms. Hunter burned with shame over this man witnessing the many signs of his weakness. Then—holy mother—Alex took Hunter’s hands and drew him to his feet. Severing their brief hold, Alex backed away. “Look at me, Hunt.” While soft, Alex’s tone demanded Hunter comply. Trembling again, Hunter forced his stare off the TV and found Alex bathed in muted light from the single lamp illuminating the room. Oh my. Hunter swallowed thickly. His clothing already removed, Alex stood nude before Hunter, the perfect specimen of man. With skin that possessed a healthy golden glow, muscles exquisitely honed, and a perfectly symmetrical face that would make the gods weep with pride, Alex had no match to his beauty in Hunter’s eyes. But it was the way

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

147

Alex looked at Hunter, with simmering hunger darkening his stare and a cock jutting out proud and long from a nest of blond fur, that stole Hunter’s breath away. “So you see”—Alex moved in close and grazed his cockhead against Hunter’s shaft, making Hunter’s prick jump to half-staff—“you still excite me and make me as hard as you ever did.” He circled Hunter slowly, smelling his skin before touching back to back, glancing their asses and shoulder blades against one another on his trek. “I still want to know you and be with you.” As he continued to move, Alex brushed his chest against Hunter’s arm, exciting the nerve endings there to life. “You haven’t run me away or turned me off. I’m honored you trusted me tonight.” He came back to stand in front of Hunter, his stare piercing and clear. Leaning in, Alex hovered his mouth mere centimeters from Hunter’s. “But more than what you look like—and how much your insane body turns me on—right now, I want permission to touch you wherever I want so I can figure out how to get you as hot and hard as you make me.” Hunter found himself instinctually synchronizing his breathing with Alex’s. Their chests touched with every inhale, and their cocks grazed with every exhale. “You just have to stand near me,” Hunter confessed. Alex’s very proximity pulled Hunter into his intoxicating orbit. “It hasn’t taken anything more so far.” A wicked—Hunter liked thinking that word, Alex’s word—glint flickered in Alex’s eyes. “That’s nice to hear.” He brushed his parted lips against Hunter’s, darting with a tiny lick, then hooked his ankle around Hunter’s and started them toppling. “But I think I can do better than standing close.” The mountain of blankets already laid out for the evening cushioned their fall. Alex landed on top of Hunter but planted his hands into the bedding to soften the crash. Settling in between Hunter’s legs, Alex then dropped to his elbows and put them nose to nose. He wiggled the tip of his against Hunter’s, and Hunter couldn’t swear it but he thought the man blushed. Alex rested his forehead against Hunter’s. “Hi,” he said, sounding a bit like a kid. Hunter found himself a little breathless too. “Hi.” Rubbing his thumb against Hunter’s jaw with the most arousing brushstrokes, Alex said, “I’m going to kiss you now.” Humor danced in his gaze. “If you don’t want to do this, now would be the time to get up.” Hunter looked down at their fused torsos and then lifted his gaze back to Alex’s. “You’re on top of me.” Alex shifted into a push-up stance and started to get up. Before a half-dozen inches separated their bodies, Hunter clamped his thighs to Alex’s hips and dragged him back down. “Don’t go.” Oh Jesus. Hunter’s heart skittered, and his hands suddenly shook again, but he curled his fingers—even the damaged ones—around Alex’s solid shoulders and found the blur of his eyes. “I want you to kiss me.”

148

Cameron Dane

As Alex dipped down, he whispered, “I thought you’d never ask.” He grazed his lips across Hunter’s; tentative, gossamer-light touches at first that sent shimmery, flowing waves through Hunter’s system. The gentle, steady contact seeped into Hunter’s muscles and bones, making his body feel like a puddle of molasses. Hunter wound his arms around Alex’s back and sank into the blankets, aching for Alex to fall into him and let Hunter absorb his weight. He hadn’t felt a man on top of him, pressing into him, in forever. The heady sensation, along with Alex’s toocaring, sweet kisses, clawed at Hunter’s overwhelming desire to master and dominate. Having skin scraping against skin all over only heightened Hunter’s need. Hunter tunneled into Alex’s hair and angled his head with a rough jerk, positioning him for a deeper, openmouthed kiss. With one tug on Alex’s jaw, Hunter thrust his tongue past the man’s lips and took a swiping lick, moaning when he tangled with Alex’s tongue. Alex immediately opened wider, accepting with low groans the full, wet, deep aggression of Hunter’s kiss. He oh so gloriously lowered every bit of his hard body completely onto Hunter and began to rock his hips, sliding their erections against each other with delicious friction. Every rubbing back and forth of their dicks, and each little lick or groan Alex pushed into Hunter’s mouth, toyed dangerously with Hunter’s control. Hunter scratched down Alex’s back and latched on to his ass, reveling in the tight, warm hills of flesh. He dug his fingers in, and Alex gasped and bucked, pushing his cock into Hunter’s belly. Fuck. Hunter leaked a stream of early ejaculate right next to the one Alex had just drizzled between their stomachs. His balls swelled big, heavy, and painful in his sac, eager to unload within the smothering confines of Alex’s willing ass. I need him right fucking now. Getting a better grip on Alex, Hunter started rolling the man onto his back. “Wait. Wait.” Alex came up for air, halting them on their sides. Struggling to catch his breath, his eyes still shining with light, Alex quirked up his lush, kissreddened mouth at the edge, offering Hunter a small smile. “Slow down, Hunt.” He licked the tip of Hunter’s nose and pecked another fast kiss on his lips. “We don’t have to rush.” “Can’t.” It felt like millions of little tentacles played right under the surface of Hunter’s flesh, attacking him with too many pleasurable sensations. “You said you want to know what gets me hot and hard.” He stabbed his raging dick into Alex’s belly, desperate for the man to understand. “Fucking you does it better than any other sexual experience I’ve ever had.” Hunter pushed his scarred fingers into Alex’s crack and played with his tight hole. “I want a piece of your ass again.” Latching his mouth to Alex’s with another searing kiss, Hunter nipped and sucked as he pushed to get Alex beneath him again. This time, Alex bit back. Bursting with a show of power, he shoved Hunter onto his back once more. Perspiration plastered Alex’s hair to his forehead, and a flash of smile Hunter could only title victorious made the man fucking beam. “Let me at least get another taste of your cock first.” He reached between them and

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

149

stroked right up the underside of Hunter’s dick, leaving shivery lines of joy in his wake. “I didn’t get to savor eating you last time.” “Oh Jesus.” On fire, Hunter pressed his fists into his eyes, praying that not seeing Alex would slow down his raging desires. “Hurry, or you’re gonna kill me.” Alex pecked kisses to Hunter’s fists and then to his nose, forehead, and cheeks. Hunter’s heart lurched with such exquisite, tightening pain he genuinely thought he might expire on the spot. Alex continued brushing sweet, light kisses over Hunter’s chin and down his throat, toying with Hunter’s grasp on control. When Alex flicked his tongue and nibbled on Hunter’s already pebbled, sensitized nipples, Hunter moaned and admitted, “Ever since the first time I saw you running in those little shorts, I’ve spent every night thinking about fucking you raw.” Alex continued licking his way down Hunter’s torso, over burns and scars without pausing, and Hunter’s throat constricted while his cock wept with anticipation. “Everything we’ve done so far only makes me hungrier to have you again.” “I’ve had a lot of fantasies about you taking those running shorts off me too,” Alex murmured. His lips came to rest against Hunter’s lower belly. Against his skin, Hunter could feel the grin Alex wore. Alex licked into Hunter’s fur and ran little crazy eights patterns with his tongue over the soft, hidden skin, and then stamped another smile into Hunter’s flesh when he reached the base of his cock. “I’ve imagined myself getting on all fours right there on the side of the road,” Alex shared, driving Hunter insane with both his story and his lips along Hunter’s shaft, “and you pushing my shorts down my ass so you could take me from behind.” One more tilt of his lips, this time against Hunter’s engorged tip. “Picturing it made me hard as hell”—the hum of Alex’s voice snaked straight down Hunter’s cock and grabbed onto his balls—“which was a little disconcerting to accept for an exclusive top like me.” Hunter yanked his hands away from his eyes and reared up to his elbows, but right then Alex parted his kiss-swollen lips and sucked down half of Hunter’s cock. Alex quickly wrapped his hand around Hunter’s root and started jerking him off in time with powerful, suctioning pulls over the top half of his length, the man moaning each time Hunter’s cock filled his mouth. Millions of tiny nerve endings in Hunter’s penis screamed their pleasure with Alex’s talents, and soon Hunter gritted his teeth in an effort not to take control and fuck Alex’s face. Hunter couldn’t tear his stare from Alex bobbing up and down his prick with obvious enthusiasm, and the sight of his lips spread wide over Hunter’s thickness pushed dangerously at Hunter’s baser desires. He clenched his fists and willed his hips to stay locked in place, but his thighs shook with his efforts not to shove himself down Alex’s throat. Hunter wanted to get so deep he would choke Alex. Then he wanted to rip his dick out and come all over the man’s face and hair, only to force Alex to get him hard again so Hunter could drench him in a second and third coating of cum. He wanted to spill himself into so many nooks and crannies Alex would never get Hunter’s scent off him. No. Stop it. If Hunter humiliated Alex

150

Cameron Dane

in such a way, particularly after how he’d treated Alex at the job site, Hunter would never get himself clean again. As Alex relaxed and took more of Hunter’s length, swirling his tongue as he gently sucked Hunter to his throat, he looked up at Hunter through lust-filled eyes. His gaze made Hunter think Alex welcomed all the unspoken, derogatory acts in Hunter’s twisted head. Fuck, yes. Just as Hunter began to thrust his hips, intent on choking Alex with his cock, he jerked away at the last second and pulled his dick out of Alex’s mouth. Shit. Horrified at his fast slip, Hunter flipped Alex onto his back, desperate to hide his ugliness with something normal. Alex crab walked backward, making Hunter think he was trying to get away. Hunter lunged. He yanked Alex back to him, shoved his thighs apart, and found the pathway to salvation in Alex’s pink, starburst hole. Hunter blindly dug into the outer pocket of his duffel bag, knowing exactly where he’d packed the condoms and lube. Once he hit on the foil-lined packet, he put it between his teeth and tore. As Hunter rolled the rubber on one handed, he opened the clear lubricant with the other and slathered it all over his sheathed dick. Come on. Come on. Come on. Alex’s snapped-shut entrance beckoned to Hunter, but Hunter commanded himself to halt with his slick fingers hovering right over where he needed to go. Hunter flicked his gaze up from Alex’s pucker and forced himself to meet the man’s wide-eyed gaze. Shit. I scared him. “Let me fuck you,” Hunter pleaded, his voice unbearably scratchy. He’d already shown Alex too much of his most private weaknesses, but right now he feared if he couldn’t hide his deviant needs behind sex, he would debase Alex again, and maybe hurt him much worse this time. Hunter’s damaged hand trembled with his need to shove his fingers inside Alex’s ass and prepare him for a rough ride. His tone only got huskier too. “I need to fuck you.” Hunter couldn’t help closing the distance and tracing his fingers around Alex’s pulsating ring, but he willed himself not to take. Hunter locked on to Alex’s pure stare, his need exposed. “Please,” he whispered, sweating like hell, but he waited. Witnessing Hunter’s torment stabbed at Alex’s core. He wrapped his hand around Hunter’s neck and dragged him down, not thinking about his body and what Hunter might do to it. Alex didn’t care about physical pain. Only easing Hunter’s obvious anguish mattered. Lips to lips, Alex scraped kisses against Hunter’s hard mouth. At the same time, he pushed his hand between their bodies and forced Hunter’s scarred fingers into his ass. “Ohhh shit.” Alex bit his lip through first penetration. Hunter’s pupils flared, making his eyes nearly black. Hunter murmured, “Jesus,” and pushed his fingers in deeper, widening Alex’s chute.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

151

Alex’s passage contracted repeatedly, his body still confused about being on the receiving end of mating. “Just enough to get me slick,” Alex ordered through gritted teeth. Hunter twisted his fingers in accordance, sending mixed signals of streaks of joy between the lines of burning discomfort in Alex’s ass. “That’s good. Ohhh, damn it.” Hunter grazed Alex’s sweet spot, and Alex’s cock and balls jumped with appreciation. “Damn it.” Hunter scissored his digits within Alex’s chute—fuck—and Alex grabbed the man’s wrist. “No more.” He pushed Hunter’s fingers from his hole. Immediately Hunter began to lift himself away. In a flash, Alex tightened his hold on the man’s neck. Looking into Hunter’s wary eyes, Alex guided Hunter’s cock to replace his fingers. “I meant no more fingering.” He brought their mouths together again and whispered, “Fuck me, Hunt.” Alex licked past the seam of Hunter’s lips and grazed their tongues. When he withdrew, he added, “I want the same as you.” With a gruff, strangled noise, Hunter slashed his mouth across Alex’s and punched his cock deep into Alex’s ass. Alex cried out into Hunter’s mouth, still unused to Hunter’s thickness invading his ass so fast and hard. Hunter swallowed any sounds Alex produced, and he quickly began stabbing his rigid length into Alex’s channel with repeated strokes. Alex’s stretched pucker burned, and his tunnel still squeezed uncontrollably, unable to relax. He lifted his hips into Hunter’s fucking anyway, with more enthusiasm that he’d ever experienced topping any other man, and remained painfully erect too. Alex craved roughness in this coupling with Hunter as much as Hunter loved to give it. Alex had never felt more alive in his life than he did when he spent time with Hunter. Talking, arguing, learning…fucking. Alex sank his fingers into Hunter’s hair and held the man close for an invasive, unbridled kiss. He ate at Hunter’s mouth, grunting through each stab of Hunter’s cock into his ass, hungry for this chance to explore, learn, and show how much he wanted Hunter too. Hunter bit Alex in response and tried to take ownership of the kiss, but Alex pulled the man’s hair and fought for control. He swept his tongue along Hunter’s teeth, licked the roof of his mouth, and caught Hunter in another duel of tongues, which Alex battled and won. Right away Hunter broke the kiss and braced himself on his hands. He snapped his hips with rapid-fire speed, drilling shallow thrusts into Alex’s flaming passage with piston-fast strokes, and sent a high-voltage jolt of pure pleasure from Alex’s ass all throughout his body. Suddenly friction became Alex’s world, and he drove his ass into Hunter’s fucking like a wanton. “Don’t stop.” He moaned, his insides coiling in the most delicious way every time Hunter slid his rigid length along Alex’s anal walls. “You feel so good.” Looking, staring, slipping to a place of pure, raw emotions, Alex found himself drowning in the pitch-black pools of Hunter’s open gaze. “I love feeling you in my ass.” He stabbed himself into Hunter’s driving shaft, and at the same time couldn’t stop touching the man’s shoulders, chest, arms, and abdomen, glorying in his strength. “I want to feel you everywhere.”

152

Cameron Dane

Hunter reared upright, out of touching range. Before Alex could protest, Hunter pressed his hands into the backs of Alex’s thighs and spread him wide open. Right there, on full display, Hunter plugged Alex’s hole with his cock. Hunter slid his palms up the backs of Alex’s legs to his knees, and pressed them right into the bedding. As Hunter looked at Alex, he moaned and nudged his length within the confines of Alex’s chute. Glancing up, Hunter revealed a gaze darker than Alex had ever seen. “Watch us.” His tone dared Alex to fight him. “Watch me fuck you.” Hunter withdrew all the way, leaving Alex open and begging, and then drove back into him to the hilt, making them both shout. The angle tagged Alex’s passage in a whole new way, making him feel tighter and harder for Hunter to penetrate, and had him leaking precum all over his belly and pleading with Hunter for more. Hunter set up a punishing pace, nailing Alex’s ass with repeated sure, deep strikes. Both men stared as Hunter claimed Alex again and again. Balls slapped taint with each drive, the repetitive hard, fast fucking not only tenderizing Alex’s rectum but reddening his ass cheeks too. Hunter sank his fingertips into Alex’s legs and gritted his teeth with the next particularly deep, grinding penetration. Alex bit his lip, struggling against the acute pleasure riding his ass and consuming his chute. Alex itched to grab his dick and jerk off in time with each stabbing invasion, but he knew the second he touched himself, he would lose it and shoot all over his stomach. In this position, though, beyond how incredible Hunter felt inside him, Alex couldn’t thrust or even bump his hips in participation. Alex couldn’t grab on to Hunter, and he wanted to, God how he wanted to. He ached to caress Hunter’s hard body and sink into his warmth. I want more than just fucking. Shit. Suddenly Alex surged upright and shoved Hunter onto his back, staying with him and keeping them connected the entire time. He planted his hands on Hunter’s chest to keep him pinned to the floor. “Let me. Please.” Alex sounded as frantic as Hunter had only moments ago. “I need to ride you.” Unable to wait for a response, maybe scared of what he would hear, Alex began slamming his hips and working himself off on the cock buried deep in his ass. Hunter’s cock. Shit. Alex looked down and found himself trapped in Hunter’s dark gaze, desperate to know more of his secrets and earn more of his trust. Staring, getting lost in Hunter, Alex began slipping from driving his hole down onto Hunter’s length to tucking Hunter all the way inside him and rocking slowly against his thick, embedded length with rough grinding, hardly moving at all. Hunter gasped and bucked, but Alex squeezed his thighs against Hunter and kept him on the bedding. “Don’t fight it,” Alex said gently. He curled his hands against Hunter’s scarred chest and gritted his teeth through the pure joy of just clenching his rectum around Hunter’s fully encased cock. “Just feel.” Hunter bared his teeth, and his skin pulled taut across his cheekbones, making him look savage. He stretched his arms wide and grabbed on to the edge of the coffee table and the foot of the recliner. With every slight rock of Alex’s hips,

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

153

Hunter heaved and gripped the table and chair tighter, until his knuckles turned white. His chest expanded and his muscles strained, but he didn’t move. Alex clenched his passage again, moaning as he lifted all the way to Hunter’s tip and then descended again, moaning as he swallowed Hunter’s cock to the pubes once more. An inhuman, high cry escaped Hunter, and his penis swelled even thicker in Alex’s ass. As sweat dripped down his temples, Hunter closed his eyes and turned away. The tightest band imaginable contracted around Alex’s chest, crushing his heart, but breaking open his soul. He cupped Hunter’s face and guided the man back to him. “Look at me, Hunt.” He grazed his thumbs across closed eyes. “Just like you made me look at you.” Hunter blinked, showing a too-bright, wild stare, and Alex tumbled over the edge of a dark, bottomless well. He started riding Hunter again, trying to scramble and find familiar footing, but each slide of Hunter’s dick in his ass became a permanent brand Alex could never heal. Alex pounded himself down on Hunter even harder and pulled on his cock, twisting the coil tighter and tighter in his belly, as if physical pleasure could provide a branch to grab in the darkness. Alex was never one to lie to himself, though, and even if he could fool his brain, he couldn’t break away from Hunter’s dark eyes and the silent way his gaze beckoned Alex into his tormented world. Alex folded himself on top of Hunter, needing even more closeness. His throat hurt, his pulse skittered crazily, and his rectum flamed with overuse, but Alex wouldn’t leave this spot for a dozen new, choice hotels. Brushing his trembling fingertips against Hunter’s mouth, Alex roughly whispered, “I love you, Hunter.” “No.” Hunter locked his arms around Alex’s waist and surged into a sitting position, with Alex wrapped around him. He thrust his cock deep into Alex’s passage over and over again, shaking his head as he shook and shook and shook. As Alex’s ass took a brutal pounding and his dick screamed for release between the crush of their stomachs, he held on and promised, “Yes yes yes.” He tunneled his fingers into Hunter’s hair, forcing him to stay connected, and choked out, “I love you,” again. On a shout of denial, Hunter threw his head back, yet still held Alex down on his fully embedded cock. He swelled inside Alex, his thickness pushing with unbearably sweet pain against Alex’s rectal walls. Then Hunter cried “No” again as warmth, even though the condom, filled Alex’s ass. A bone-shaking shudder racked through Hunter as he held their bodies fused together, a guttural display he could not deny. In response, orgasm rocked through Alex in an equally raw manner. He pumped himself onto Hunter’s stomach like an animal, covering the area with hot spits of cum. Fucking shit. Alex’s heart rate had not even begun to return to normal when Hunter pushed Alex off his lap and shot to his feet. Hunter quickly clenched his hands into fists repeatedly, and he scanned the room wildly, as if he didn’t know

154

Cameron Dane

where he was. “You shouldn’t have said that.” Hunter wiped his mouth, and he finally pulled himself together, only to shoot Alex a look that should have put him six feet under. “You shouldn’t feel it.” Hunter stumbled into an end table as he backed away. “Not for me.” He took off running down the hall. Alex jumped up and gave chase. He hit the doorway at the end of the short hall just as Hunter slammed it in his face. The lock echoed like gunfire as the bolt slid home. Fuck.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

155

Chapter Thirteen Goddamn. Shit. Motherfucker, Alex. Why couldn’t you just let me fuck you? Why did you have to say you love me? After locking the door, Hunter rushed to the medicine cabinet and tore it open, desperate to find razors or tweezers, anything he could use to cut into his skin. He turned on the faucet, cranked the knob up to all hot water, just in case he couldn’t find anything and had to improvise. Scalding water would work, but Jesus God— Hunter struggled not to hyperventilate—he really needed something, anything, fast. A bang shook the locked door. “Hunter!” Alex hit the hollow wood again, and Hunter jerked, the sound ratcheting up his need to find a weapon tenfold. “Let me in right now!” In his scrambling efforts, Hunter knocked bottles and medicine to the sink and floor, littering the small bathroom with useless items. “Leave. Please.” Hunter spun and yanked the shower curtain open, searching, searching, searching for anything sharp. Jesus. He wiped his perspiring neck. He swore he could feel Alex breathing on it. “You have to leave me alone.” “That’s not gonna happen.” Determination filled Alex’s tone. The door rattled as he took another run at the barrier. “You’re not doing this to yourself anymore.” Hunter dropped to his knees and ripped open the storage area under the sink. “You don’t understand,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I have to.” Nothing. His brain churned ugly thoughts and terrible emotions through his system so fast he couldn’t process anything that didn’t involve breaking down the door and tearing Alex from limb to limb—anything to make him pay for ruining this night. No! Steam from the rush of water running down the sink filled the bathroom and called to Hunter like a beautiful siren in a dangerous strait. He almost stuck his good hand under the scalding flow but at the last second spotted a leather bag on the back of the toilet. Hunter swiped at it, and the contents of the open case scattered across the floor. Plastic-encased razor blades bounced and spilled around the commode. Hunter fell to his knees and grabbed one just as the door thundered with another crash. Wood splintered from the jamb; the door slammed into the wall as it careened open, and Alex stormed inside. Still nude too, Alex folded himself in front of Hunter, careful to cover the exposed blades with a towel before he knelt and pushed them aside. “Shit.” He

156

Cameron Dane

wiped at his mouth, suddenly appearing much older than his thirty-one years. “Please don’t.” He covered Hunter’s hand with his. “Don’t hurt yourself again.” Hunter yanked away and wedged himself into a tight corner between the toilet and the wall, desperate to cover his back and flanks. “You can’t understand.” Shame consumed every corner of Hunter’s being, making the knowledge that he would soon implode a million times more acute. “I can’t make it stop…” Unless I cut you instead. Hunter could never let Alex see the deeper layers of twisted thoughts living inside him every day. “Go away.” He put the razor to the outer edge of his chest, letting the blade kiss his flesh. “Now.” “No.” The vehemence in Alex’s voice only made Hunter’s heart speed up unbearably. “If you’re going to do it, then it’s going to happen in front of me.” Alex slid his fingers under Hunter’s chin and lifted his face out of hiding. “You’re not going to hurt yourself in secret anymore.” Looking into Alex’s eyes, Hunter mouthed, his voice producing no sound, I’m sorry. He sank the razor into his skin, and then again and again, and fought down a cry as fire licked through his sliced flesh. The demons still slammed against his insides like battering rams, fighting to get free and wreak havoc, so Hunter cut into his chest a fourth and fifth time. Each small bloodletting temporarily focused Hunter and silenced the war raging inside him, but this time, with Alex watching him, the series of cuttings didn’t dull the storm the way it usually did. Tears streamed down Alex’s cheeks, and wetness streaked Hunter’s face too. Horror at the atrocity he had become pushed at Hunter’s throat, choking him with bile, but he slipped the blade into his flesh again, deeper this time. Oh Christ. Oh Christ. Oh Christ. An inferno of screamworthy pain exploded in his chest and down his stomach, and wet, slick blood coated his fingertips and the razor. Hunter stifled the screams within and began banging the side of his head into the wall to help dissipate the fiery pain. Inside him, he finally gained distance on the chaos, and smothered the impending doom. Alex stared at Hunter, absorbed what he did to himself, and couldn’t contain his cry of despair. Every time the man took the razor to his body, it killed Alex inside. Alex swore if he looked down, he would see mirroring cuts in his flesh and blood streaming down his skin. When Hunter started hitting his head against the wall, Alex lost his control and scrambled away. “This was a mistake.” Alex covered his mouth and had to use the wall to help him stay standing. Through the tears filming his eyes, Alex saw Hunter in fractured, blurry pieces. “I thought I could do this, but I can’t bear to see you hurt yourself while you tie my hands to stop it. Not right now.” Failure slammed Alex in the gut and doubled him over. Crying—God, it felt like he hadn’t stopped since Helen’s phone call—Alex broke with refreshed grief. “I just lost someone I loved and couldn’t save. I don’t think I can live through it again, never knowing when the worrying and fear will stop.” Alex looked at Hunter and saw another casket

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

157

lowering into the ground. Anguish crashed over him, knocking out his legs. “Not knowing if you’ll be dead by the end.” Alex found his footing and tore down the hall, away from more death. He ran through the living room and kitchen blindly, on memory alone, and pushed out through the back door onto the porch. Rain swelled the white painted wood and made it groan with every step Alex took across the screened area to another door and the steps beyond. The steady patter of rain continued to fall, saturating the sparse grass yard and turning the dirt into mud. Alex didn’t care. He welcomed the cold, wet earth sinking between his toes and the rain chilling his bare skin to as icy cold as his blood felt inside. Oh God. Alex tipped his head up to the sky, letting the fat drops of rain hit his eyes, nose, and open mouth. How did this go so wrong so fast? He’d suffered the worst loss in his life three days ago, but by some unfathomable miracle, it had seemed he’d gained a relationship with the potential to become the most profound one in his world. Which Mack would want for me. I thought Hunter wanted the same. Betrayal from two men—one for dying on him without giving him more definitive advice about love, and the other for clinging to his path toward destruction rather than risking himself with Alex—sent a wicked rage through Alex and had him roaring into the dark, thunderous night. A circle of soft light suddenly haloed the backyard. Alex blinked the rain out of his eyes and found Hunter standing on the steps. Rain plastered his hair in a dark cap against his skull. Hunter remained as naked as Alex did, and his uncovered, scarred body only wrenched a painful reminder through Alex of the trust they’d developed tonight. Gauze dotted in pinks and reds covered the area where he’d cut himself. The sight of the bandage served as a gaping chasm between them, seemingly so deep and large Alex could not build a bridge strong enough to get to Hunter on the other side. He did not possess the skills. Immediate denial gutted right through Alex, stealing his breath. He’d never been a quitter, and he’d never walked away from something he wanted to win. Maybe he needed to apply that drive to winning people now. To win one person. Alex took a step forward. Just as fast, Hunter took a step back. Shit. Alex moved again, and so did Hunter. Welling with pain, Alex didn’t take a third step. Alex tunneled his hands through his wet hair, scratching his frustration into his scalp. “You have to give me something here, Hunt. My head is a minefield of contradictory next moves for us, and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore.” Hunter had never looked more like unmovable stone. “I’m sorry I did this to you. I wanted to help, but I’ve fucked with your head and made everything harder for you.” “You were a help,” Alex said, passion for this man infusing his words. “You were a rock. I don’t think I could have gotten through these last few days without you. I thought we got close. I know we did. If you deny it, I will know you are a liar and never believe another word out of your mouth.”

158

Cameron Dane

Somehow Hunter went even more still. Right now Alex clung to that silence as an agreement. More embers inside Alex started to flicker and flame, and he couldn’t contain them. “For the life of me, though”—he shot Hunter a sideways glance as he started to prowl the backyard—“I cannot understand the huge swings in you. If you were always hot and aggressive with me, or always cold and remote, I would understand it and even learn to work with what you could give me. But you’re solid with me for three whole days, and then you go cold. We have intimacy, which I think you want, but then you freak out and run away. More than once,” he reminded the man, jabbing his finger in Hunter’s direction. “Your emotions and actions are all over the map, and I have never liked working with a person or stepping into a situation where I can’t see the outcome before I start. I tend to avoid—personally and professionally—people I can’t read. It is a weakness of mine; I admit it. And you, Hunter, God help me, you are in a foreign language I’ve never seen or heard before.” Alex landed at the bottom of the steps, so very near to Hunter, his arms ached not to reach out and touch him. “I’m a fucking smart man, though,” he went on, not backing off this time. “I can learn to read and speak you fluently, if you will only guide me where I need to go to learn. Tell me, Hunter. I don’t want this to end, but I don’t know how in the hell to proceed.” Hunter averted his stare. He stood more rigid than the first day they crashed into each other. Sighing, Alex pleaded, “You have to give me something more, or we are lost.” With his arms locked at his sides, Hunter finally turned and found Alex’s gaze. The cold in his eyes punched the air out of Alex’s lungs. “I can’t care about people anymore,” Hunter said, his voice monotone. “At least not more than peripherally. And I definitely can’t let myself love them. I have to maintain distance. There’s too much ugliness inside me, and when I start to feel, things go bad in my head.” He spoke as if reading from an instruction manual. “The twisted stuff gets mixed in with the good stuff. It’s like a tornado and a hurricane and an earthquake of emotions all going off at the same time. The feelings either drive me to claw at you and bite you or tie you up so I can be as rough with you as I need to be in order to release it, or I can run away and turn it on myself before I do so much physical damage to you—or someone else—you can’t ever recover from it. I can’t let sex or even just being with you become too personal. When it does, the destructive places inside me take over. I can’t stop them. I’ve tried.” Alex leaped up the steps and grabbed Hunter’s arm. “But you didn’t stumble once the entire time you were helping me take care of everything for Mack.” His voice held a begging quality he’d only used with his deceased loved one. “I know you haven’t hurt yourself in the time we’ve been here—at least until just now. I saw you naked. I’m looking right now. I’ve touched your scars and burns.” Hunter’s body called to Alex, and he ran his fingertips over faded scars on the man’s belly and chest, memorizing the grooves. “None of these are fresh.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

159

Trembling, Hunter squeezed his eyes shut. He exhaled, suddenly unsteady. “I was successful as long as I kept refocusing myself and treated helping you like a military mission.” It sounded like he pushed each word through rust. “The goal was to get you through this week and make sure you were okay. Then tonight we started confessing secrets to each other, and you kept challenging me and made the sex so fucking intimate…” As he’d done in the living room, Alex grazed Hunter’s mouth with his. “I told you I loved you.” “Stop saying that.” Hunter turned his head and retreated onto the porch, putting the screen door between them. The screen couldn’t hide Hunter’s bleak, dark eyes from Alex’s scrutiny. “I don’t want you to love me, because I can’t love you back. I won’t let myself. I won’t risk hurting you. We have to stay casual, or I can’t do this.” Alex laughed, welcoming the cynical, hollow sound. He didn’t have another tear in him to shed. Timing truly was everything. He forced himself to remain standing, facing this man who’d stumbled into his life and changed it forever, who now didn’t want any part of it. “You need impersonal, and I’m at a place in my life where I want more than empty sex. I need it. I want to trust the man I’m with. I want to wake up with him in the morning and kiss him good-bye as we leave for work. I want to laugh with him and tell him embarrassing stories about how nerdy I was when I was a kid.” Losing the battle, grief over Mack’s death mixing in with this one, Alex wiped an errant tear before he could go on. “I want him to share secrets about his childhood too. I want to make love to him with so much intimacy we’re scared it will kill both of us. I want to go to his sister’s house for Christmas so her boyfriends can glare at me and act like they don’t like me, but feel secure I’m a member of their family because they all love the man I’m with and want him to be happy. That’s what I want.” Alex tried to hold his emotions in check, but his voice quivered terribly. “And it’s all pretty damn personal.” Hunter fingered the gauze covering his scars, and the hint of light still shining went out in his eyes. “I can’t give you that,” he murmured scratchily. “I’m sorry.” At least he’s honest. Alex turned away, needing to hide what remained of his tattered pride. “Then I think you need to go.” “I’ll pack a bag and leave. Good-bye.” Behind Alex, the kitchen door softly clicked closed. Alex couldn’t face Hunter again. Not right now. Rather than go back inside to some warm, dry clothes and a roof over his head, Alex stepped into the yard, right into a drilling, stinging heavier rain. “Thanks a lot, Mack.” Alex glared at the black sky. “Is that you pissing on me from heaven and having a good laugh at how bad I am at this?” Without a clear target, Alex raged at the very heavens themselves. “It’s my fault, right? Maybe I’d know how to spring ‘I love you’ on a guy if I’d let myself experience just one emotion in my other relationships, right? Is that what you’re thinking?”

160

Cameron Dane

Rain continued to pour down on Alex, but he didn’t move. He welcomed the cold. Maybe if he could ice himself over well enough, then he could present himself to Hunter again with nary a warm feeling left inside him. The guy would love that. Then they could fuck all they wanted without any consequences at all. Alex used to crave a similar situation himself anyway. He could find a way to get the indifference back. Then he and Hunter could become just a couple of cold bastards making each other’s asses sore a couple of nights a week and then slip right back into their everyday lives with no one the wiser. Not even the two of them would think about what they did to each other until “fuck night” came up on the calendar again. That sounded good. Just like what Hunter wanted. Alex stayed in the rain, berating himself and snarking at Hunter for a good long while. By the time a horn honked—presumably Hunter’s cab—Alex had worked himself up a good head of steam. Not only at himself either. Royally pissed now, Alex blasted a great deal of the fire inside him at Hunter too.

*** July Hunter opened his door to find Jace with his hand poised to bang on the wood. Fuck. Hunter pushed past his uniformed friend, slamming the door behind him. “I don’t have time for you right now,” he muttered on his way to his truck. Not technically true. He didn’t officially have to be at work for hours. He’d taken to going in early to spend time with Hercules, though. Burying himself in work also served as an effective way to avoid Sarah and Jace’s questions; he knew they still had a thousand about why he’d gone to Georgia with Alex, as well as why he’d returned without him. Up till now, Hunter had successfully avoided them for nearly two weeks. Work also seemed to be the only place Hunter could exist where he successfully controlled his emotions. Contrary to what Hunter had thought, coming home alone had not helped to center him. By trying to avoid Sarah and Jace, he’d increased his tension tenfold. And when he wasn’t knee-deep in work, Hunter did nothing but think about Alex. Where he was. Why he hadn’t returned to Quinten yet when he should have come back ten days ago. If he was okay. If he regretted telling Hunter “I love you.” Christ. As much as Hunter needed to for his sanity, he could not get that raw confession out of his head. He could not forget what it felt like to have Alex’s hands on his body— complete physical contact the likes of which he had not allowed himself in years. Jesus. Hunter grabbed his abdomen. The blowback of unearthed emotions still hit him with the force of a roadside bomb. He dug into his pocket and clasped his hand around his knife, his constant friend since returning home. Hunter had slipped back to cutting himself on an almost daily basis. Reaching their trucks, Jace grabbed Hunter before he could open his door. “What the hell is going on with you?” Jace hissed, leaning into Hunter’s space.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

161

“Because I’m about one excuse away from hauling you in to the station and locking you up just so Sarah can have two words with you.” The urge to slam his fist into Jace’s face had Hunter rubbing furiously at his pocketknife. “Cain and Luke were generous to give me that time off,” he explained in clipped tones. “I’m making it up to them by working extra hours. I’ve been busy.” Jace’s mouth twisted in a frown. “Don’t keep doing this to your sister. Call her and give her fifteen minutes of your time.” Jace clenched his hands in front of him but then pursed his lips, shook his head, and opened his fists, spreading his fingers. “She waited forever for you to come home, and she never once complained. She deserves time with you.” Guilt leeched into Hunter’s gut, mixing with the other turmoil. “I know.” “Then make it happen!” Jace smacked his hand against the roof of the truck. “I’m not kidding. I love you, but I am about this close”—he pinched two fingers with less than a centimeter between them—“to getting ugly with you. Right now I don’t even think it’s a close bet as to who would win. Call Sarah.” As Jace backed up to his patrol SUV, he stabbed a finger Hunter’s way. “And call one of those psychiatrists I told you about too. Don’t make me come find you at the crack of dawn again.” Hunter shut his door carefully when everything in him itched to slam it right off its hinges. He hated facing Jace, hated the truth his friend could throw in his face without fear of retaliation, and hated the way Jace expected results or face his consequences. Growling and jamming his hand against his window, Hunter then peeled out of the parking lot for work. He would call Sarah later—when he wasn’t still fucking spoiling to beat the hell out of Jace.

*** Darkness still beating back the dawn, Alex turned at the two-mile point in his run and began trekking back toward his trailer. He hadn’t slept much during the extra time he’d remained in Georgia, and returning to Quinten around midnight last night hadn’t helped him relax and catch any z’s either. After hours staring at the ceiling, alternating between worrying about Hunter and cursing his very existence, Alex had given up the pretense and gotten up to run. At least at this earlier hour, he wouldn’t cross paths with Hunter. Right now, at a time when Alex was more aware than ever he needed Mack and the man wasn’t here for him anymore, Alex couldn’t predict how he would react to seeing Hunter. Alex fucking hated his inability to foresee his actions these days, and put more than a little of the blame on a stubborn, closed-off, dark-haired cowboy. Alex growled as a truck came into view, and then breathed a sigh of relief when he recognized the newer model with the Quick Holdings logo on the side panel. A moment later, Rand pulled onto the shoulder of the road. Rand rolled down the window. “Sir. You didn’t inform me of your return.” His stormy eyes clouded, and he dipped his head. “My condolences.”

162

Cameron Dane

“Thank you.” Alex squeezed Rand’s forearm, careful not to wrinkle the guy’s suit. “I got in late last night. It was an impulsive decision to return, so I didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to pick me up in Bozeman.” He raised a brow at his impeccably mannered right-hand man. “Yes, sir.” The guy didn’t so much as blush. “It’s fortuitous that you’re here. I debated informing you about a major setback at our Miami project. I made the decision to trust one of the local men here, Jarvis Hammett—I think you’ve met him—to oversee the Quinten project for a few days while I go handle the Miami mess. I leave this afternoon.” Alex slid the image of a gray-haired Quinten man with foreman experience into place. “I remember Jarvis.” A truck slowed for a heartbeat on the road right then. Through the windshield of Rand’s truck, Alex met a dark, unapproachable gaze, and his pulse immediately kicked into high gear. It’s him. Fuck. Distracted, unable to break away from Hunter’s stare, Alex discreetly adjusted his growing bulge. “What’s going on in Miami?” he asked, swearing silently as Hunter sped up and gave Alex his taillights. “It seems we misjudged our new architect,” Rand said. “One of our trusted people informed me she has overheard him okaying the use of inferior materials.” Alex whipped his attention back to Rand and narrowed his gaze. “Son of a bitch.” The blood rushing with a scalding hot torrent inside him no longer had anything to do with rejection. “Take care of—” Rand held up his hand. “I plan to fire his ass in person.” A miniscule half smile appeared. “I’ve already reshuffled some of our people and made the decision to pull Zeke from the Boulder project and give him lead on Miami.” As if it suddenly occurred to him to whom he spoke, Rand slipped back to a place of pure formality. “I haven’t informed Zeke yet, though, so if you want to go another way without ruffling feathers, we can.” Alex bit back a grin. “I hired you for a reason, Rand. Those are all good choices. Take care of it.” “Will do, sir.” “Keep me informed.” “I’m meeting Mr. Hammett right now,” Rand shared. “We were scheduled to go over some last minute details before I leave, but I’ll inform him you’ve returned and will resume leadership.” “No.” Aware of his body and his mood, Alex said, “Let him know I’m here, but give him point. Let’s see what he can do.” “Sounds good.” Rand gunned the engine and tapped the cell on the dash. “I’ll call you when I’ve assessed how deep in shit we are in Miami and what it’s going to take to get us out.” “I’ll get in touch with legal.” Alex’s killer instincts had him flashing a wicked smile that had made many of his former employees cry. “We’ll see if we can sue the

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

163

bastard for every penny we’ve paid him, in addition to what it’s going to cost us to correct his negligence.” That got a twinkle going in Rand’s eyes. “Yes, sir. I’ll be in touch soon.” Alex took up his run again. There was little in the world that worked his last nerve to the nub more than someone in his employ fucking with the Quick name and its standard of quality. Alex knew Rand would take care of the situation, but it still irked Alex to no end that between the two of them—Rand had the second best bullshit meter Alex knew, Alex’s being the first—they hadn’t detected the flaw in this architect’s character that allowed him to think he could get away with cutting corners on a Quick Holdings project. Alex’s mood had not started out great. The conversation with Rand had only worsened it. And Alex hadn’t for one second forgotten the truck that had driven by while he’d talked with Rand. Hunter. And fucking A. Just that split second of eye contact had flashed Alex back to the two of them making love on his childhood living room floor. Right where he’d stood, talking to Rand, Alex’s cock had stirred. His dick still tented his shorts. Not even replaying the “it can’t be personal” conversation deadened Alex’s wood. Alex growled and got back to his run, hard-on and all. A mile down the road, Hunter cursed himself and slammed his palms against his steering wheel. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. He’s dangerous. Hunter swerved his truck off the road anyway and made a beeline for Alexander Quick.

164

Cameron Dane

Chapter Fourteen In a familiar scene, Hunter screeched his truck to a halt in front of Alex’s trailer. In his head, the violent demons punched viciously at his skull, and he knew he should leave. But his heart slammed against his chest and his prick pushed with a vengeance against his jeans, his arousal and need too powerful to deny. The trailer’s open door convinced Hunter he was supposed to be here. The shadows beyond beckoned him. Hunter leaped the stairs, barreled inside, and proceeded to crash into the table. Less than a dozen feet away, Alex stood at the bedroom opening, his running shorts and sneakers on the floor, and the first of his socks toed off. His long cock, already lifted straight out from that sexy-as-hell trimmed patch of blond fur, jerked toward his stomach. Hunter swallowed thickly, mesmerized, and rubbed at the bulge making his jeans much too snug. Shaking his head and mouthing no, Alex worked his other sock off his foot. He then took a step back into his bedroom. Suddenly he muttered, “Fucking shit,” raced to Hunter, and seared their mouths together. Both men immediately moaned and parted their lips, hungry for a deeper taste. Tongues warred, teeth nicked lips, and Hunter gloried in Alex stealing his breath. Hunter ran his hands down Alex’s back to cup his firm ass and jerk the man closer, his cock raging too hard already to think about foreplay. In return Alex licked into the farthest recesses of Hunter’s mouth and tore at his shirt. He started yanking at Hunter’s belt buckle, his fingers frantic in between another rough, battling kiss. Just as Alex sucked on Hunter’s tongue, he dived for Hunter’s snap and zipper. But the second he pushed his hand into Hunter’s underwear, before he did more than torturously graze cock, Alex let go and took a step back. “Wait, wait.” Breathing laboriously, his lips already so very red, Alex laid a piercing stare on Hunter. “Why are you here?” Hunter wrapped his arm around Alex’s waist and tugged him back in. As he went in for another kiss, he whispered roughly, “For you.” Alex averted his head. He then put a stare on Hunter that probably made billionaire business rivals crap their designer underwear. “As long as it’s not personal, though.” Alex tore Hunter’s open shirt down his arms, trapping him in the sleeves. “Right?” Lava began spitting inside Hunter’s belly, making his organs boil. “Fucking shit, Alex.” He struggled against the fabric confining his arms. “Forget it then.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

165

“No, wait.” Alex shoved Hunter onto the table and pushed in between his thighs. “You don’t want it personal?” He leaned in and swiped his tongue across Hunter’s lips. As Alex withdrew, his wicked smile held in it a dare. “Okay. Let’s see what registers as personal.” He ran his finger down Hunter’s torso to the waistband of his underwear. “Maybe I can accommodate you after all.” His blood rushing much too fast, Hunter fumbled with his shirt. He managed to tear the buttons off his cuffs and free his arms, desperate to get up, but Alex pushed his hand into Hunter’s jeans right then and reclaimed his cock. Alex stroked the full, rigid length, teasing the sensitive patch under the tip in just the perfect spot, and Hunter fell to his elbows, moaning as he leaked early seed right onto Alex’s fingers. Another commanding, knowing grin took Alex over. “You seem to like that just fine.” As he played with Hunter’s nuts, rolling the weight deliciously in his warm hand, Alex leaned in, stopping with his mouth less than an inch from Hunter’s. “But what if I kiss you while I jerk you off?” Alex grazed his lips over Hunter’s, back and forth. Locking his stare on Hunter’s, Alex brushed their mouths together once more. “Or will that get too personal?” Just as Alex asked his question, he slid a trimmed fingernail into Hunter’s slit. Hunter gasped and pumped out another bead of precum. Alex did it again, and Hunter shuddered. Everything spun too fast inside Hunter, sending warning signals of impending Armageddon to all his survival receptors, yet he couldn’t break away. He rocked his hips into Alex’s handjob, a slave to his touch, and uttered, “Bastard.” Alex uttered back, “You have no idea,” and claimed Hunter’s mouth with his. Alex dominated the kiss in every way, using biting, licking, and scraping teeth against one another as if he now had a mission to brand Hunter in any way he could. As Alex invaded Hunter’s mouth with wet, searing thrusts of his tongue, he dragged his tightly closed fist up and down Hunter’s dick with punishing friction, and set Hunter’s cock on fire in more ways than one. Jesus. Hunter ran his hands up Alex’s hard stomach and chest, then over his shoulders, anxious to learn every bit of this man again. He sank his fingers into solid muscle, holding on tight, and pumped his cock into Alex’s magical fingers. Moaning for a chance to taste too, Hunter forced his tongue past Alex’s lips and licked along the ridges of the roof of his mouth. Instantly Alex squeezed Hunter’s dick as if he’d temporarily lost control of his hand. He tore his mouth away a heartbeat later, removed his hand from Hunter’s shaft, and laid a midnight forest stare on Hunter. “No.” His labored breath fanned warm air on Hunter’s face. “Don’t try to make me forget about what we’re doing here.” Alex looked Hunter over from top to bottom, and he whistled long and low. “I want every bit of your body as much as I do your mouth and prick. So let’s see what else I’m allowed to do.” Alex grazed his fingertips over some of the marks riddling Hunter’s chest and stomach. With his gaze trained on his hand, Alex surely noticed Hunter’s belly quiver with every soft, brushing contact.

166

Cameron Dane

Lifting his gaze to meet Hunter’s again, Alex asked, “Am I allowed to touch your scars and burns? What about kissing them?” Still fingering each and every scar, Alex dipped his head and pressed a kiss to an old burn on Hunter’s shoulder. He worked his way across Hunter’s chest, tracing pale, ridged scars with his tongue. Each time he reached a lighter burn, he kissed the circle of gnarled flesh. Alex did not stop his ministrations until he’d tended to every inch of Hunter’s arms and torso, ending on his knees between Hunter’s legs. His face right at Hunter’s crotch, Alex lifted his crystal-clear emerald gaze. “Can I tell you that everywhere I look and touch you, I think you’re beautiful?” He ran his hands up the insides of Hunter’s thighs and caressed his cock through his jeans. “Or does that cross your line into too personal?” “Jesus, man.” Hunter put a death grip on the table on either side of him. His body continued to blast warning shots of adrenaline through his system in rapid succession, making Hunter buzz crazily on the inside and tingle all over on the outside, but he could not make his legs listen to his internal screams to get up and run. He clenched his teeth against another rough, insanely good rub along his length. “Stop taunting me,” Hunter warned. “You’ll regret it.” A flash of something dark shimmered over Alex’s stare. “I’m just trying to figure out where we stand.” He hooked his fingers into the waistband of Hunter’s jeans and underwear. “I think we need a little more skin.” With one yank, he exposed Hunter to the knees. As he took hold of Hunter’s boots and pulled them off, removing the rest of his bunched clothing along the way, Alex added, “It’s only fair, since I always seem to be bare-ass naked in front of you.” Before Hunter could respond, Alex shoved Hunter’s legs apart and pulled him to the edge of the table. Alex ran his hands up Hunter’s bare thighs as he moved in, once again running his fingertips over the grooves of old scars, as if he wanted to find and acknowledge every single one. Hunter trembled, but this time he couldn’t be sure if it came as a result of Alex familiarizing himself with all of Hunter’s shameful secrets, or because the man’s lips sat poised mere centimeters from Hunter’s balls. Oh fuck. Hunter’s thighs clenched, and he dumped a couple of fat beads of early ejaculate onto his abdomen. Alex licked his way up Hunter’s taint and swirled his tongue all around his sac. Hunter moaned and spread his thighs wider, silently begging for Alex to keep going. His eyes darkening more somehow, harkening a storm, Alex nuzzled in, latched on to Hunter’s left nut, and sucked the cum-heavy orb into his mouth. Alex worked every supersensitive nerve ending over with deep pulls and licks, pushing Hunter dangerously toward ecstasy. Just as Hunter knocked on the door of physical paradise, Alex spit Hunter’s left ball out, only to draw the other past his lips. Hunter shouted and grabbed on to the back of Alex’s head. He shamelessly held Alex prisoner against his crotch and writhed into the tongue bath Alex delivered to his right testicle and then his entire sac, leaving not a bit of skin untouched. Coming up for air, Alex said, “That worked for you, and you’re still with me.” He kissed his way up the underside of Hunter’s shaft, his gaze homed in on

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

167

Hunter’s the whole way. “Let’s see if you can live with this.” Alex spread his lips around Hunter’s thick cock and forced more than half the length into his mouth in one shot. Warm, welcoming dampness surrounded Hunter’s dick and had his blood rushing to his cock with a vengeance. His penis swelling even thicker in Alex’s mouth, Hunter could barely breathe through the pleasure, and he definitely couldn’t look away from that beautiful mouth sucking him as if Hunter could spill the magic elixir for eternal life rather than ejaculate from his prick when he came. Alex bobbed up and down on Hunter’s shaft, taking a bit more past his lips each time he pushed down on Hunter’s member. With one more twist of his head, Alex worked Hunter into his mouth nearly to the root, letting his piss slit just graze his throat. Once there, Alex manipulated his nimble tongue around the shaft, moaning as he did, and sent incredible little vibrations through Hunter’s length and straight into his balls. Too much. “Ohhh, shit, shit.” Hunter swished his buttocks over the sweat-slick table, fighting between pulling away and shooting down Alex’s throat. Fuck. He sucked in a gulp of thick, humid air. “You’re gonna make me come.” Alex immediately put a choke hold on Hunter’s sac and strangled his impending orgasm. “Not yet,” he ordered, clamping Hunter’s balls so hard it bordered on painful. “So we’ve discovered you can tolerate a blowjob, but what if it’s not just a physical act done to make you come?” Alex flicked his tongue against Hunter’s cockhead and then sipped from the tip, groaning as he did. “What if I tell you how much I love having you in my mouth?” Always maintaining eye contact, Alex sucked on Hunter’s thick mushroom head for a few shiver-inducing pulls and then rubbed the whole thick shaft across his lips and chin. “What if I were to tell you I could worship your cock for days and not want to stop, even if my jaw grew so sore I could barely keep my mouth open to get you past my lips?” Alex’s gaze slipped to rich and lust-filled, backing up his claims. “What if I confessed to you I think you could make me come just by spilling on my face? Is that too personal for you?” Shit. Shit. Hunter struggled between erotic, base visions of doing just what Alex suggested…and terrible thoughts of kicking Alex’s head off just to make him stop talking. Alex continued to rub Hunter’s cock over his lips and then up to his cheeks, and Hunter lost a little more of his hold on sanity. “Jesus Christ, Alex.” Hunter tightened every muscle in his body, willing himself not to do anything he couldn’t take back. “Don’t push this anymore.” He felt trapped by his need for this man, even as the destructive places inside him shot to critical mass right alongside his libido. “Please.” Holding Hunter’s penis to his face, Alex shook his head. “Before I even get to your sweet ass? I don’t think so.” He let go of Hunter’s cock, pushed Hunter’s legs high and wide, and revealed Hunter’s dark pucker. “You haven’t let me near this hot little hole of yours yet, and I am ready to experiment.” Without pausing Alex licked his thumb and rubbed the pad over Hunter’s ring.

168

Cameron Dane

At first contact, Hunter released an inarticulate sound, something between a plea and a cry. Hunter hadn’t wanted anyone near his ass in such a long time that his body and head didn’t know how to respond to the contact—or if he even wanted it or could ever like a man inside him again. Alex grazed two fingers over the area, and this time applied greater pressure to Hunter’s anus. In a split second, Hunter grunted and his asshole contracted, beyond his control. Another unidentifiable glint—one that made Hunter’s heart skitter terribly— flashed in Alex’s eyes. “You don’t want to let me inside yet?” He went from touching Hunter’s bud to splitting his cheeks apart even more with the heels of his hands. “Then let’s see what other kind of play you can handle first.” With one blink that turned his gaze downright sinful, Alex lapped up Hunter’s crease and then attached himself to Hunter’s asshole with immediate, powerful suction. Hunter lost his battle and let out a hoarse cry, filling the trailer with his pleasure. He held on to his nuts to keep from coming and lifted his hips right off the table into Alex’s face, his jerking action a result of a frightening mix of being terrified yet eager for more. Alex switched from sucking Hunter’s ring to fluttering, whisper-soft flicks of his tongue against the tightly shut muscle and sent zinging, tickling lines of joy up Hunter’s chute and into his system. Alex worked Hunter’s hole over with a single-minded ruthlessness Hunter had never experienced as the receiver before. He flicked and licked and sucked as if he could eat at Hunter’s ass all day. In between sucking, Alex took strikes at Hunter’s entrance with his tongue, constantly poking to see how Hunter’s asshole held up under the onslaught. Hunter gritted his teeth against the impending collapse of his pucker, knowing full well Alex had designs of sinking his tongue into Hunter’s ass. Oh Christ. Hunter’s passage squeezed with excitement, but his heart pumped too much blood too fast and sent his pulse into a frenzy. Lying back on the table, no longer possessing the strength in his arms to keep him upright, Hunter planted his feet into the booth seating on either side of him, searching for a foothold to reality and sanity. Please. Alex broke through the barrier right then and claimed Hunter’s ass with his tongue. With a moan, Alex withdrew and licked a line around Hunter’s stretched ring, only to then stab his tongue past Hunter’s hole again. Alex poked as deep as he could surely go one more time, and then pulled back to rim just inside Hunter’s passage. He licked pure, unadulterated joy into millions of tiny nerve endings inside Hunter’s channel and sent a scattering relay of raw desire and impending orgasm into every unprepared pleasure receptor in Hunter’s body. No. No. Hunter pushed his ass into the intimate fucking but at the same time drilled the heels of his hands into his eyes, as if blinding himself to seeing what Alex did would in some way dull the connection or pleasure. Alex groaned against Hunter’s sensitized hole, and pushed his way inside again. In response the razorsharp talons of Hunter’s uglier needs began clawing even deeper gashes into his soul. It’s too much. Hunter pleaded with the demons inside. Please. Let me go.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

169

Alex swore a vicious litany of foul words, making Hunter snap open his eyes just in time to see Alex surge to his feet. “It’s goddamn too much to have my fingers or my tongue in you. Is that it?” Extreme sparking embers burned a wildfire in Alex’s forest stare. “What can you handle then?” Without stepping away, Alex grabbed an empty, single-size Coke bottle out of a recycling basket on the counter and took a moment to lick along the classic swirl design circling the neck. He then reached for the cooking oil off a metal rack attached to the underside of the cabinet. “Because I know you want something in your ass, Tennison.” Alex bit the cork off the glass container and spit it aside. As he poured the amber liquid over the mouth and neck of the Coke bottle and smeared the oil around it, Alex locked his thundercloud-filled focus on Hunter. “I can fucking taste the need all over you.” Before Hunter could process that he must have spoken something out loud, Alex twisted the oiled mouth of the bottle against Hunter’s pucker and popped the first inch right into Hunter’s ass. Oh shit. Shit. The cool glass—the invasion itself— sent Hunter’s rectum into a series of crazy-fast spasms and his cock to shooting straight up into the air. The act of Alex putting a bottle into Hunter’s ass had degrading, ugly connotations swirling all around it, but as Hunter watched Alex pull the bottle all the way out—oh fuck, so good—only to push the neck all the way back in, stretching his opening wider with every inch, Hunter couldn’t hold back a rough moan of pleasure. As Alex twisted the bottle neck halfway buried in Hunter’s channel, grazing that rippled glass over every inch of Hunter’s anal walls, he glanced up and held eye contact. “You’ll goddamn accept me fucking you with a bottle, but you don’t want my fingers or mouth.” Anger laced Alex’s voice, but the desire shining in his eyes and the rigid beauty of his crimson erection said at least a part of him didn’t find this grotesque or humiliating either. Alex sloshed the rest of the oil over the bottle and Hunter’s entrance, and then threw the empty glass container toward the bedroom, where it crashed into something and shattered. Alex worked the soda bottle in Hunter’s chute with faster strokes, and he wrapped his other hand around his prick. “Can I jerk myself off while I’m doing you with a foreign object?” He rubbed his cock from root to tip, never breaking away from Hunter’s gaze. “Or is that too personal?” Alex stood so close his knuckles grazed Hunter’s inner thigh with delicious softness every time he pumped his hand up and down his length. “Am I allowed to move my hips in time with the bottle and imagine myself taking your ass?” Ratcheting up the game, Alex flexed his hips with aggressive, fast speed, stabbing his cock into Hunter’s inner thigh with every move. “Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m thinking about fucking you so hard you won’t be able to walk when I’m done.” Every fast thrust of Alex’s hips nudged his cockhead higher up Hunter’s thigh and pushed dangerously at Hunter’s frayed sanity. “Or is that getting too goddamn close to your precious limit?” With a growl, Alex made the bottle claim Hunter’s ass with repeated strikes. Each time the glass pushed in, he branded Hunter’s leg with the heat of his hot, leaking cock. Alex’s verbal taunting worked insidiously in Hunter’s head, toying with everything he desperately wanted with this man and the very separation he

170

Cameron Dane

needed emotionally to survive. Mix that in with his newly rebreeched ass, as well as his hunger to give his body up to a man the way he used to so love, and Hunter could no longer assimilate anything more than instinct. Alex twirled the Coke bottle in Hunter’s chute once more and rubbed his erection in tandem against Hunter’s thigh. Hunter moaned low, slipping dangerously toward the precipice. Perspiration slicked Alex’s perfect, glorious skin, and his green stare pierced deeper into Hunter’s soul than a ten-inch blade. “What if I tell you this is the hottest, fucking most intimate moment I’ve ever had with a man,” Alex shared, his voice strained, “and that I can’t imagine ever doing this with anyone but you? What if I tell you I think I might goddamn kill any man who even thought about doing this with you?” Alex’s lips curled back, revealing his teeth, like a dog going into battle. He folded over and bit Hunter’s chest, breaking skin and sending a shot of pain right where Hunter had once bitten Alex. Just as fast, Alex reared up and started rocking his hips and working that damn bottle in Hunter’s ass again. “You tell me if that pushes you too far, baby.” Alex reached out, spread his hand over Hunter’s belly, and collected streaking lines of Hunter’s precum onto his fingers and palm. “You fucking tell me.” With that, Alex licked his seed-smeared fingers and palm. As he did, he groaned and dumped a line of precum, the very essence of his arousal, onto Hunter’s thigh. Something uncontrollably dangerous but too powerful to stop flipped a switch inside Hunter. He cried out, and in one series of lightning fast actions, Hunter shoved the bottle out of his rectum, wrapped his hand around Alex’s neck to drag him close, and punched his asshole straight onto Alex’s dick, making them one. Oh Christ. Oh Christ. Goddamn motherfucking Christ. Hunter couldn’t breathe. Both men shuddered as Alex’s unsheathed, bare cock slid all the way home with before-this unknown, unfathomable, unspeakably wonderful friction in Hunter’s ass. Alex’s lips parted, and he immediately began thrusting into Hunter with fast, choppy strokes, bulldozing his way into Hunter’s channel without finesse. “I can’t—” Cursing when Hunter started sliding on the slick surface, Alex dug his fingers into Hunter’s buttocks and anchored him in place at the edge of the table. Shoving his rigid cock into Hunter again and again, his gaze bright, Alex uttered, “I can’t stop.” Hunter wrapped his legs around Alex’s back, panicked as much about losing this connection as he still was to let it happen. He glued his forehead to Alex’s and locked them together in another way. “Don’t stop.” Hunter scraped his parted lips against Alex’s. “Fuck me.” His hands clenched deep in Hunter’s ass cheeks, surely creating bruises, Alex took Hunter with a violent kiss and started plowing into him with sure, rough strokes. Alex dominated. Every time he drove his cock deep into Hunter’s ass, Alex held Hunter trapped to him and rocked their mated bodies into the table with his full weight, crushing Hunter with a pressure that made it difficult to breathe but that Hunter welcomed and craved. With every pleasure center in Hunter alive, awake, and crackling, he slashed his mouth across Alex’s and sank into an

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

171

exploring, scorching kiss. Alex jerked within Hunter and immediately began kissing him back, taking Hunter in another way. Holding on to Alex, savoring his sure, strong form, Hunter sparred and jabbed his tongue with Alex’s, craving everything he could get. He pumped his hips into each stab of Alex’s rigid, long cock as best he could, and clamped all the muscles near his rectum as tightly as possible, desperate to keep the man buried deep inside his body. Alex grunted and tore his mouth away. “Shit.” He clearly struggled for every gulp of air he sucked into his lungs. “Hold on.” Their bodies still tied together, Alex lifted Hunter off the table, stumbled two steps, and slammed him into the closed bathroom door, making the mirror-covered wood rattle. Alex clutched Hunter to him with whipcord strength, and Hunter locked his legs around Alex’s waist with everything in him, eager for a brutal ride. Searing their mouths together again, Alex wasted no time in pounding Hunter into the door with hard, fast thrusts. He penetrated Hunter’s ass with repeated, bruising force, tenderizing the hell out of Hunter’s passage with every strike. Each time Alex plunged his way into Hunter’s ass, the door shook, trembling and threatening to break under the abuse. Muttering for Hunter not to let go again, Alex took them to the floor, clumsily but without severing their connection. Alex planted his hands on either side of Hunter’s head and began drilling Hunter’s chute with aggressive, full thrusts, the force of which rocked Hunter repeatedly into the floor. Thin, scratchy carpet ran along the narrow walkway of the trailer. Each time Alex slammed his cock into Hunter’s ass, rug fibers scraped Hunter’s back and buttocks, but he didn’t care. The burn only added to the fierce mating, intensified his arousal, and shoved Hunter closer to release. Hunter looked into Alex’s intense, focused gaze, and the spirals of desire, need, and panic fused inside him, coalescing into a giant ball of fire in his gut. No. Hunter instantly began slamming his ass up to meet Alex’s mating, flinging himself into something he prayed could overpower the destruction creeping back in. “Fuck me.” He clawed at Alex’s arms, tearing skin as he tried to dig in and hold on. “Ohhhh shit…” Too much friction flamed his passage well past painful, but Hunter kept jamming his hips into Alex’s fucking anyway. “Harder. Fuck me harder.” Alex bore down on Hunter and pinned him to the floor. Instead of punishing Hunter’s ass the way Hunter begged for and needed, Alex bracketed his arms around Hunter’s head and trapped him from top to bottom. He grazed his lips across Hunter’s cheeks and forehead, and began a slow, easy, rocking merge of their bodies, something so soft and sweet Hunter bucked and pleaded for release, desperate not to provoke the demons anymore. His grass gaze homed in on Hunter, clear as a spring morning, Alex whispered, “You’re so beautiful.” He brushed his fingers in Hunter’s hair, adding, “I wish you could see it,” as he nudged his shaft over Hunter’s kill spot at the same time, catapulting Hunter’s body’s needs and the adrenaline shooting through him, commanding him to flee, in opposing directions.

172

Cameron Dane

Hunter ran his hands down Alex’s back and grabbed his ass, begging with touch and voice. “Please.” He tried to rub his raging-hard dick into Alex’s stomach and squeeze his rectum all around Alex’s buried cock. Hunter scratched at Alex’s buttocks and responded gutturally, “Just fuck me. I only want you to fuck me.” In rapid response, Alex swore and reared up to his knees. He grabbed Hunter’s ankles, straightened his legs, and held them open against cabinet doors. “Is this what you want?” Alex punched his prick into Hunter with punishing speed, forcing his long shaft so fucking deep, all the way to the root. “Do you think because I’m stripping the hide off your ass this isn’t personal?” Alex nailed Hunter’s sweet spot two more times, and a snarl once again revealed the cutthroat tycoon living inside him. “Everything is personal.” His skin glistened with sweat, and his voice mimicked that of a wronged Greek god. “The fucking way I say hello to you in a roomful of people is personal.” Alex jerked to a stop, crushing Hunter’s ankles in his grip before shaking his head, gritting his teeth, and locking his fiery gaze on Hunter’s again. Pushing in to the hilt, his voice raw as hell, Alex said, “And when I come in your ass, in a way I fucking know you’ve never let any man do before”— Alex withdrew his cock and rubbed the shiny, red length into Hunter’s taint, balls, and prick, a reminder he wore no protection—“you’re gonna realize there’s no running from personal between us.” Alex drove back in, burying himself inside Hunter until his fur kissed Hunter’s burning hole. He abruptly folded himself on top of Hunter once more. His eyes too bright, his skin pulled taut over his face, Alex put his lips to Hunter’s and declared, “I love you, Hunt,” into his mouth in a way Hunter couldn’t reject. “And it’s very, very personal for me.” Alex then shuddered on top of Hunter and spilled himself deep in Hunter’s ass. The moment Alex’s hot seed tagged Hunter’s channel, coating him deep inside, Hunter lost his battle. He latched on to Alex and kissed him back, holding on to reality in any way he could. Hunter’s balls sucked up painfully to his body, and he jolted under Alex. A split second later, faster than he’d ever felt in his life, Hunter came, jetting line after line of cum between the crush of their stomachs. Alex stayed with Hunter the whole way, holding their heads together and scraping his mouth to Hunter’s, maintaining contact and whispering, “It’s okay. I love you, I love you, I love you,” the entire duration of Hunter’s orgasm. Drowning in the moment, his heart cracking, Hunter clung to Alex. His throat ripped to shreds through the silent screams of denial inside him, but Hunter whispered back brokenly, “I love you too.” As soon as the words—the emotion attached, the truth of it—left Hunter’s lips, his entire body went hot and then unbearably cold. His brain flashed image after image of dead, bloody soldiers in front of Hunter’s eyes. All men Hunter had worked with and respected, and all of them now gone forever. As each picture processed itself with rapid-fire speed into Hunter’s system, the demons inside clawed away at a piece of his soul, as had happened each time he’d experienced the loss in real time. Death and loss bombarded Hunter, racking through his body, first showing him a

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

173

picture of Trey’s lifeless body, holes and blood riddling both sides of his neck from entry and exit wounds, his eyes forever glassy, no longer holding a soul. Right on top of that torment came the gutting flashes of Will’s outrageous and contagious spirit morphing into the kid dying on the side of an Iraqi road, life slipping from his gaze and strength in his hold. On the floor in Alex’s trailer, Hunter relived every loss and slow death of his soul in a heartbeat, but in his body, mind, and heart, it felt like forever. Caring kills. The words, the truth, had etched themselves into Hunter’s very being. Love is death. When Hunter didn’t think it could get any worse, he saw Alex in a coffin, lifeless—another loss he wouldn’t be able to prevent—and something inside him shattered. Crying out with an inhuman scream, Hunter shoved at Alex and rolled over, desperate to get to his pocketknife and stifle this onslaught of emotions before they killed him. He scraped his way across the carpet to his jeans and grabbed the hem, but just as he did, Alex landed on top of him. Alex scraped and did battle, making dirty moves, and wrested the jeans from Hunter’s grasp. Alex shot to standing, and Hunter did too, where they faced each other with a half-dozen feet between them. Hunter lunged, but Alex maneuvered swiftly, switching their positions, and stayed more than an arm’s distance away. Alex clutched the jeans to his body, and his entire frame heaved. “Don’t do this.” His voice ragged, he looked close to tears. “Don’t hurt yourself anymore.” Alex’s pain only added to the ugly, twisted needs pounding in Hunter’s head. “You don’t understand.” It became tougher to draw in a clean breath of air. Hunter’s lungs burned, and he barely fought back the urge to pound his head into the table. “Give them to me.” His voice reeked with his pathetic need, but right now he couldn’t care. “I need it. Please.” “Is this what you want for the rest of your life?” Alex yanked the knife from Hunter’s pocket and waved it in front of him, just out of his reach. “Every time you feel something, every time we have sex, every time I tell you I love you, you’re going to butcher your body?” Hunter’s fists tingled with life, and his terror shot up a hundredfold. “It’s the only way.” He could hardly hear his plea over the roar of blood raging in his head, and his terror that he couldn’t command his hands to unclench shook him to his core. “I have to.” “You don’t,” Alex argued, passion infusing his voice. “You can fix this. I can help you. You don’t need this.” Alex flung the knife into his bedroom, the clang as it hit the wall like a bullet in Hunter’s heart. “I won’t let you do it anymore.” The trailer became boiling hot for Hunter, and he saw everything through a haze. No. Please. He scratched at his thighs and slammed his shoulder into a cabinet in an effort to appease the barreling, oncoming train, but the pounding in his heart only grew faster, louder, and more erratic, and he couldn’t hold back the buzzing in his hands from crawling up his arms.

174

Cameron Dane

Hunter’s truck felt a million miles away, so he ran for a drawer and pulled it open, swiping useless contents onto the floor in his haste and need. Come on. Come on. Come on. Help me. Hunter could hardly feel his body anymore, and increasing panic turned his brain into a series of words and phrases he clung to as a sign he still had an ounce of control and sanity. He reached for the next drawer, pulled it open, and scrambled through papers and pens, desperate for something that might have a point sharp enough to cut skin. Alex ripped open a cabinet and slammed a small butcher block onto the counter. “Is this what you’re hoping to find?” He grabbed the first knife out of its slot and flung it into his bedroom. “Or maybe this one, or this one?” Alex threw two more, using such force they pierced the wall above his bed and stayed there. Hunter rushed Alex, but the man scooped up the wood block and dipped under Hunter’s arms. “Maybe you want this fat six-inch blade so you can cut yourself so deep I have to rush you to a hospital!” Alex threw the enormous knife out the trailer door and then selected the last blade from the block. Righteous fire turned Alex’s eyes downright luminous, and the louder he got, the more powerful and destructive the need inside Hunter grew. “Or maybe you want me to let you bleed out! Is that what you really want? Do you want to die?” Alex banged his fist, knife and all, into the open door. “Because I’m not putting another person I love in the ground, you son of a bitch!” As Alex threw the knife outside—Hunter’s last chance to turn the overwhelming panic and rage inward, onto himself—Hunter screamed, a horrible, soul-gutting sound. The destructive ugliness consumed his last drop of control and took complete hold of his body. Charging at Alex full force, Hunter yelled, “Shut up!” Hunter smashed his fist into Alex’s face and sent him reeling to the floor. Alex didn’t have time to even process the explosion of heat searing through his cheek before Hunter jumped on top of him and cracked his fist into Alex’s jaw again. A mass of pure black inked Hunter’s eyes to the color of onyx, and his face twisted with such ugliness that for a split second Alex thought some otherworldly entity had taken over his body. Pain saturated the left side of Alex’s face, but Hunter wound his arm back and swung again, this time crushing Alex’s chest. Alex kicked, but Hunter held him down with a hand on Alex’s throat. In lightning succession, Hunter pounded his fist into Alex’s side and gut relentlessly, stealing the rest of Alex’s breath and firing white-hot, explosive pain through his body. Alex scratched at Hunter’s hand on his throat, barely eeking out “Stop it” through the compromised air space. Hunter continued to squeeze, and he moved to strike again. He brought his fist down, aiming straight for Alex’s heart. A split second before Hunter made contact, something familiar washed across his gaze, and he tripped over himself in his scramble to get away.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

175

“Jesus Christ.” Clearly wild and terrified now, Hunter started to shake. He gathered up his clothes and boots, holding them against his body like a shield. “This is why I needed the knife.” Not holding eye contact, Hunter stayed as far away from Alex as he could as he edged to the door. “This is why I have to stay away.” “Hunter.” Alex sprang up and grabbed his arm. “Stop.” Hunter tore out of Alex’s hold and his trailer in one agitated move. “Don’t touch me. Please. I still feel like I could kill you right now. The ugliness is still ripping at me.” Barely pausing in his strides, Hunter swiped one of the knives off the ground as he rushed to his truck. “I have to get away.” Alex chased after him. “Hunter, you can’t keep running.” “Look at what I did to you!” Hunter’s torment battered Alex worse than his fists had. “I don’t have any choice. I could hurt you again. I will hurt you again, and next time… Jesus.” Hunter wiped his face, his hand still trembling. “I can’t even think about what I could do to you.” “You stopped yourself,” Alex reminded him. “Barely. And not soon enough.” Hunter kept the truck between them. Once he started pulling on his clothes, it felt like he erected another barrier between them. “I might not next time.” Alex remained rooted in place when he wanted nothing more than to leap over the broken-down vehicle and take Hunter into his arms. “You would,” he said gently instead. “I know it.” Hunter shook his head, and the unreachable darkness again clouded his stare. “I have more than watched my fellow soldiers die. I have killed too. Do you understand?” Through the windshield, Alex watched Hunter stab the knife into the dashboard. “I have killed the enemy,” he growled in a savage tone, “so don’t say I’m not capable of snapping your neck before I even realize I have my hands on you. It is possible. You can’t know what it’s like to have that inside you unless you’ve done it yourself, so don’t act like you know me better than I know myself. Your arrogance that you can fix me only makes me want to rip your head off even more.” True shame, something Alex rarely felt, twisted his gut. “You’re right,” he admitted. “I’ve never been in war, so I can’t truly understand that part of you.” Alex took a step closer but then immediately halted when Hunter’s nostrils flared dangerously. Alex looked into Hunter’s shuttered eyes instead and tried to get closer another way. “But don’t ask me to give up on you just because there’s risk involved. I’m not built that way. I don’t know how to stop working toward something I want. For the first time since confessing my feelings about Mack, I want a person more than any success or money in the world.” A little raspy, he said, “I want you.” Hunter became like a block of stone. “You can’t have me. I will never let you again.” He climbed in behind the wheel and slammed the door. “Good-bye.” Without looking back, Hunter drove away. Alex stayed planted in place until he could no longer see Hunter’s truck. Right then, instantly, adrenaline wore off,

176

Cameron Dane

and his face and torso throbbed with fire, painfully reminding him of Hunter’s lapse in control. Good God. An invisible weight held Alex down and made his steps back into the trailer slow and heavy. What in the hell happened here today? Alex trudged into the bathroom and got the first good look at his face in the tiny mirror. His cheek and jaw flamed bright red, and blood flowed from his split lip. He didn’t have to see his ribs and stomach to know soreness and bruising would set in before the day ended. Gut instinct told Alex that Hunter would never hit him again, and Alex always trusted his gut. At the same time, Hunter did know himself better than Alex possibly could. Alex’s intelligence told him when a person cautioned another away, the smart man heeded the warning. His stomach churned nastily once more, but this time he knew it came on the heels of possibly never sharing intimacy with Hunter again. Alex studied the damage Hunter had rained on his face and torso, but he couldn’t forget Hunter allowing Alex into his body without a condom—and the mind-blowing love coursing through him when he’d come in Hunter’s ass. Alex had never done that with anyone in his life. And as he’d told Hunter, something in Alex knew Hunter had never gone bare with another person either. “Oh God, Mack.” Alex swallowed down thickness in his throat, his grief at losing his lifeline still fresh and cutting. “I need you more than ever right now.” He tipped his head back, maybe hoping for a miracle. “What the hell am I supposed to do?” Silence reigned. As Alex slid down the wall to the floor, it truly hit him for the first time that he was on his own.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

177

Chapter Fifteen A half hour later, Hunter slipped into the red barn at work, still rattled by what he’d done to Alex. Only the occasional shuffle of hooves and snorts from the horses greeted him, and for that Hunter was grateful. He didn’t think he could face his bosses yet, and he needed to figure out how to stop shaking or he would give himself away. Maybe everyone will see it anyway. Hunter braced himself against Herc’s stall, his limbs unsteady. They’ll take one look at me and know I beat a man I just said I loved. Hunter exhaled and covered his face with his hands, as if hiding his eyes could block out the never-ending loop of what he’d just done from playing in his mind. He could still feel his fist connecting with Alex’s flesh, and the cracking sound continued to ring in his ears. Worse than that, for Hunter’s sanity, was the flood of endorphins that had drenched his system while hitting Alex, and the knowledge that if he could have just kept pounding on Alex, he would have achieved the same calm that always centered him when he cut into his own flesh. Brutalizing Alex with his fists some more would have eventually settled the chaos inside Hunter. I’m a monster. Unsure what to do—maybe turn himself in for assault—Hunter almost slid to the floor when something cool and wet nudged his shoulder. Hunter pulled his fingers from his eyes and looked over his shoulder into Hercules’s warm, curious stare. The horse bumped Hunter through the bars on the upper half of his stall door as best he could again, and Hunter actually chuckled. It sounded rough as hell, but it came from his gut. “Thanks, boy.” He rubbed the bridge of Herc’s nose up to his forelock, just the way the animal liked it. “I need the bucking up today.” Hunter pressed his face to the bars, and whispered, “You have no idea how much.” With Hunter’s confession, Herc gently nudged his nose into Hunter’s forehead and whinnied, throwing spittle on Hunter’s face. Hunter wrinkled his nose and cocked a brow at the animal. “Gee, thanks. I didn’t know I needed another shower.” He wiped his face with his sleeve but stayed close to the bars and Herc. For the first time since seeing Alex on the side of the road such a short while ago, Hunter actually felt the calm inside him regaining control. “Oh my God, Hunter.” Cain’s hushed voice drew Hunter’s attention to the barn entrance. At the open doors, Cain stood with one hand over his mouth. “Look at that.” Muffled sounding, Cain put his hand back at his side but didn’t move. “What

178

Cameron Dane

happened?” For a split second, Hunter’s heart started to seize—he can see, he knows—but Cain quickly added, “He’s nuzzling you. Hercules is actually nuzzling you,” and killed the shot of adrenaline before it punctured his heart. Holy shit. Hunter took a second look at Hercules, and his chest swelled. “I didn’t even think,” he admitted. “I was just here, having a minute to myself before I started working, and he came to me.” Careful now, Hunter barely moved as he slid a glance Cain’s way. “I didn’t do anything.” “Something changed.” Assessing from where he stood, Cain held command now but didn’t take a step into the stable. “Open the stall door a bit and see if you can approach.” Hunter slid the bolts out of their latches and pushed the door open to the width of his frame. The moment he stepped one foot over the threshold into Hercules’s territory, the horse rolled his eyes and scrambled backward until he’d plastered himself to the back of his stall. Shit. Sighing, Hunter moved into the walkway once more and locked the animal back into the safety of his small home. As Cain entered the barn, Hunter grimaced. “I’m sorry it wasn’t the miracle you were hoping for.” Cain braced his legs, crossed his arms, and put his full attention on the horse. “I’m not hoping for miracles. I just pray for progress, and look at him.” He jerked his head toward Hercules. “Not only did he come to you, touch you himself, and let you rub him, but he didn’t freak out nearly as much as he has been when we’ve tried to enter the stall in the past.” They’d had to tranq Hercules twice more so the vet could pull blood for more tests. They still had no medical reason for the horse’s retreat into himself. “He’s in the corner, but he didn’t make that terrible scream, and he didn’t rear up and try to ward you off with his front quarters.” Cain clapped Hunter’s shoulder, nodding. “It’s progress.” Hunter studied Hercules more closely, searching for the truth in everything Cain had said. “I guess it is,” he murmured, admiring the animal when he shuffled the very smallest distance from the back wall of his stall. “Keep talking to him like you’ve been doing,” Cain instructed. “He has bonded to you for some reason, and I believe you’re the one who is going to bring him all the way back to us.” Shaking his head, Hunter backed away. “I happened to be here. I think it was just a coincidence.” “I don’t, and I trust my instincts. Listen”—Cain moved to his office—“I want you to spend the morning working with Boudicca. Luke and I feel good that she’s ready for work with our clients, but we’d like to get a few other people on her to test her first. Then, I’m sorry, but I need you mucking stalls.” “No problem. I’ll go get Boudicca now.” “Good man.” Pointing, Cain added, “And don’t forget to take lunch.” Hunter basked in the respect of his boss for about a second. Then he curled his fingers and the soreness in his knuckles slammed home for him the white-hot blind

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

179

spot that had wrested control from him and the beating Alex had suffered at his hands this morning as a result. Suddenly wretchedly ill, Hunter managed to make it around the side of the barn before he violently threw up. Again.

*** Knee-deep in the second half of his workday, Hunter hauled manure in a wheelbarrow to a tarp-lined truck he would eventually drive to a centralized compost area on the main Hawkins property. The Hawkins brothers consolidated their manure and biodegradable organic waste, which they then used to create fertilizer they sold to nurseries all over the country. The sun shone bright in the sky, not a cloud in sight to block the power of its rays. Perspiration already had Hunter’s shirt attached to his back and arms, and sweat continued to run down his spine, saturating the waistband of his jeans. His hat blocked the light from his face, but he still had to stop for a minute anyway and wipe his bandana across his forehead. Jesus. He did not remember summers in Montana being quite this hot. Hooves thundered against the packed earth beneath Hunter’s feet. A moment later Luke veered his horse to a stop at Hunter’s side. He looked down at Hunter from his mount, his pale stare shadowed by the brim of his Stetson. Hunter, however, could not mistake the unforgiving twist of his boss’s mouth. “Go to the stable and get one of Cain’s T-shirts from the bedroom there,” Luke said, his tone clipped. “I could see from a half mile away that you are about to drop.” Talons of panic latched onto Hunter’s heart. “That’s okay. I’m all right.” His head buzzed with nightmare scenarios, making him dizzy. “I just need some water.” Luke assessed Hunter openly for another second and then slid off his horse. Letting the animal take its lead, Luke took off his hat, handed it to Hunter, and then grabbed the hem of his T-shirt. “Let me show you something.” He drew the shirt over his head and bared a very fine chest and flat belly. “Because I think you need to see it.” Luke turned around, and Hunter gasped. Dozens of long, faded scars criss-crossed the man’s back, and he even had some circular burns. Once Luke turned around and donned his T-shirt again, he laid a penetrating stare on Hunter. “If I were willing to drop trou,” he went on, “you would see those scars continue all the way down my backside, down to my ankles. Let me explain something to you, Hunter. We all have scars here. Cain also has some. And while you might not be able to see them on the outside, everyone else who works here has at least a few on the inside too. Beyond that”—Luke righted his Stetson over his forehead—“we welcome people to Forrest-Hawk who face serious challenges, and who often aren’t given a chance because they’re in a chair, or they live in a brace, or they suffer from a disease that limits their mobility.” Luke drew his beat-up-looking stallion to him, smiled up at the animal, and rubbed his shoulder. “We give horses a second lease on life and a chance to prove they still have great hearts and spirits in them. With the right care, they once again become eager to please a master. So

180

Cameron Dane

here’s the deal. Whatever you’re hiding under that shirt”—he waved his finger at Hunter’s drenched cotton mess—“is your business. Unless you want to tell us, nobody will ask or speculate behind your back about whatever scars you possess. While you’re here at Forrest-Hawk, you are free from questions and double takes. We’re all here to do a job, but I can’t do mine if I’m constantly worrying I’m going to find you passed out from heatstroke somewhere on my property. Now I’m telling you to work without a shirt entirely, or go get a T-shirt and put it on.” His voice held the tone of one used to being obeyed. “Do you understand?” If I don’t, I won’t have a job tomorrow. “Yes, sir.” Hunter barely scratched the agreement out through the tightness squeezing his throat. “Good.” In one smooth move, Luke pulled himself back into the saddle. “I’m meeting Cain in a few minutes, and we’re going to take a couple of the horses on a good run. If you need us, we have the walkies.” He tapped the one on his belt as he guided his horse toward the lush, green mountains that backdropped their land. Shit. Crazy, ridiculous thoughts swamped Hunter’s brain as Luke put his animal into a trot. Jesus fucking shit. “Luke!” The shout left his mouth, even as every scratching instinct in him tried to yank it back in. Luke circled back to Hunter’s side. “Yep?” His heartbeat erratic, and now sweating for reasons that had nothing to do with the temperature, Hunter said scratchily, “You showed me something private just now. It’s only right for you to see why I wear what I do.” He unbuttoned his long-sleeved shirt and peeled it, along with his black leather glove, off his scarriddled body. Not even the immediate wash of fresh air across his overheated skin could quell his fear, but he stood still in the face of scrutiny. Luke gave Hunter a once-over and nodded. “Okay.” He met Hunter’s gaze. Knowledge of the self-inflicted scars lived in his gray eyes, but the respect Hunter had always seen there remained. “Now if you need the glove to protect the scar tissue from where you lost your fingers, then put it back on. Otherwise, go get a Tshirt and get back to work.” He canted his horse backward a dozen steps. “Call us if you need us.” Luke then rode off without another word. Hunter stood stock-still for the longest stretch of minutes, unable to process what had just happened. Slowly, though, against the crazy thumping still knocking in his chest, his mouth hitched at the edge, and he almost smiled. He had a place where he could walk around without fear of questions or judgment, and his bosses even had their own secrets just for themselves too. Alex didn’t judge you either. The insidious ugliness constantly living in Hunter’s head instantly showed itself. And look what you did to him. Hunter did an about-face and began taking big strides to the red barn. Each step spurred a faster one, until Hunter went from walking to running, trying with everything in him to outpace that destructive place inside him. Cain and Luke had each given Hunter good feedback today, more than intimated they were pleased with his work and wanted him at Forrest-Hawk, and Hunter just wanted five minutes of peace to enjoy it.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

181

Exhaustion ruled Hunter’s life. He could not remember the last time he’d experienced a full night of deep, peaceful sleep. Before his time in Afghanistan and Iraq, he knew that much at least. Returning stateside had not brought him closer to sleep or ease. If anything, he’d gotten worse. Hunter sometimes thought if he could reenlist, he would have done it by now, and right this minute he would be entrenched in the chaos of battle once more. At least then the chaos and insanity would make sense and the shit in his head would simply become part of the noise. Once inside the stable, Hunter paused at Herc’s stall. The horse trotted up and whinnied a hello. Hunter did not attempt to enter the animal’s sanctuary this time. Instead he held his hand out, waited, and sweet heaven, Hercules nudged him for a rub. “You’re getting there, boy.” Through the bars, Hunter scratched the horse’s shoulder. “I wish I could too,” he admitted softly. The horse gently bumped Hunter’s arm and neighed again. Bittersweet affection banded Hunter’s chest, and he leaned his face against the bars. “You can be supportive because you didn’t see what I did to a very good man this morning.” Confession, even a vague one to a horse, burned his chest even more. “At least you didn’t trample anybody”—Christ, Hunter couldn’t forget Alex’s face as he threw punch after punch on him—“or God knows if you ever would have let anyone near you again.” Hunter switched to rubbing Herc’s other shoulder when the scrape of something wood or metal on tile screeched softly in the barn. Seek and destroy instinct kicked adrenaline through Hunter’s system. A quick assessment of the open office gained no suspect and had Hunter spinning to the closed door to his left. He turned the knob, shoved the door open in one fast shot, and charged into the room. Fuck. Hunter’s heart almost stopped for the hundredth time today. “Jesus, Aaron.” Hunter immediately homed in on the wiry, dark-haired kid tucked between the bed and the wall—with a familiar terrier on his lap. “Nobody is supposed to be here.” Hunter quickly slipped back into his sweaty shirt. “You almost gave me a heart attack.” “Sorry.” The boy nudged his smudged glasses back up his nose. “Whisky ran under the bed and wouldn’t come out.” The small dog, clearly in heaven, wagged her tail into the wall with every scratch Aaron delivered to her ears. “I had to move it to get to her.” Hunter tried his best to glare at the happy dog. “Whisky isn’t supposed to be in the stables, you know.” The dog was so old she hardly left Cain and Luke’s porch anymore. “Don’t get her in trouble.” Aaron wrapped his skinny arms around Whisky and clutched her to his chest. “It’s not her fault. I carried her in here.” After taking a seat on the bed, Hunter shifted to face Aaron and drew his knee to his chest. “Can I ask what you’re doing hiding in here? Misters Hawkins and Forrester wouldn’t think it was safe for you to be in the red barn without one of them with you.”

182

Cameron Dane

Aaron picked repeatedly at a tear in his jeans. “I needed to come here to think.” “Does anybody know you’re here?” “I told Cassie I talked to Mr. Forrester and that he said I could come.” Deep red slashes quickly bisected Aaron’s freckled cheeks. “But I didn’t. Mr. Bailey was getting ready to come fetch a horse, so I told Cassie he said I could hitch a ride with him. But he didn’t, and I didn’t.” Aaron switched to chewing the edge of his lip. “I walked.” Hunter made a mental note to call Mrs. Hawkins, just in case she talked to Hank and Aaron’s story crumbled into dust. “That’s a long walk. You must have wanted to come here to think real bad.” “I need to see if I can love horses the way Mr. Forrester and Mr. Hawkins do.” Hunter scrunches his brows. “All right. Did you decide?” “Not yet. Not really.” Aaron stopped for long minutes. He put his full attention on the dog, loving on Whisky to the animal’s great pleasure, but finally looked up and blurted, “I need to like horses, though, because I don’t think I really like the cows. And if I don’t like something Connor likes, then I’m not gonna be enough of a real cowboy for him to love me and want to adopt me.” “Aaron. Jesus, man.” The kid put an arrow right through Hunter’s heart. And Hunter didn’t have much undamaged space left to take many more hits. “I promise you that’s not true.” The boy surged to his knees. “But he’s always so happy when he’s telling me stuff about the ranch and showing me how things work. Only I really like all the stuff with the money and the stocks and the numbers Mr. Quick and Mr. Gainer teach at the youth center. Mr. Quick explains everything about the stocks, and I just understand it, like that.” Aaron snapped his fingers with a surprisingly loud crack. “Mr. Quick is really awesome, and I really like going to his classes, but now I think I shouldn’t go to his classes anymore. Connor is smart, so when he picks me up tonight at the youth center like he said he’s gonna do, then he’s gonna see how much I like the stocks and the money better than his cows. That won’t be good. Mr. Quick is back, so that means he’s gonna tell Conner about how good I am in his class.” Aaron barely paused to gulp in a fresh lungful of oxygen, and Hunter found himself too wrapped up in the kid’s dilemma to hint Alex might not make that class today after all. Not after what Hunter had done to him. Aaron got the fresh air he needed and finished, “I don’t want Connor to know how much I like the stock stuff because Connor likes cowboys. His other kids are already becoming cowboys and cowgirls. And I really want Connor to like me or he’ll change his mind about adopting me, and I really want him to adopt me.” Tears didn’t fall, but Christ, Aaron’s chin wobbled worse than jelly on a turbulent airplane.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

183

Mother of God. “Let me explain something to you about Mr. Hawkins— Conner,” Hunter corrected, just to make sure Aaron knew of which Hawkins brother he spoke. “He is super smart. Maybe not exactly in the same way as Mr. Quick”— Hunter’s stomach tumbled just in saying the man’s name—“but still very, very smart. He loves his ranch and his cattle—you are right about that—but it takes more than knowing about cattle to run a successful ranching operation. He is a businessman too. He knows lots about stocks, and I’d bet if you were to ask him, you would be shocked just how much he does know, and that he probably built Hawkins Ranch to what it is by making lots of smart investments in the stock market.” Aaron perked up. “For real?” “For real. If you decide you like horses, or maybe you change your mind about cattle, then that’s great. But it’s not going to change how Connor and Cassie feel about you. They love you already. And do you know how I know?” When Aaron shook his head, Hunter shared, “Because when I worked for them, they talked and bragged about you just as much as they did their other kids.” “Really?” Behind the dirty lenses, blue sapphires sparkled in Aaron’s eyes. Hunter nodded. “Everything they tell you to your face is real. They say the same stuff behind your back.” Just as fast as the kid rode a high, he slumped and frowned. “So I’m gonna get in trouble for disappearing and miss my stock market class today for nothing.” “When does your class start?” “At four o’clock.” A quick glance at Hunter’s watch confirmed they had plenty of time to get to town. “Let me radio Luke to explain the situation and tell him I’m going to give you a ride.” He got up but paused at the door and looked back at the kid still sitting on the floor hugging the little dog. “You know,” Hunter began gently, “I bet if after your class, you tell Connor everything you just told me, everything will work out just fine.” “’Kay.” “Now you sneak Whisky back to the porch while I talk to Luke,” Hunter instructed. “I’ll meet you at my truck.” Aaron jumped up, tucked the dog under his arm, and ducked under Hunter’s arm to exit the room. As Hunter watched the kid leave, he couldn’t help thinking about Alex and how much admiration Aaron had for him. Pride filled Hunter, even as he knew he would never let himself close enough to Alex again to share what an honor it had been to know him.

*** Alex’s face throbbed, his chest and stomach hurt when he moved too quickly, and he knew every person he’d crossed paths with today had wondered what the hell had happened to him. Nobody had dared ask him to his face, though, so he let everyone believe something had happened while he’d been away. Only Rand knew

184

Cameron Dane

Alex hadn’t come back from Georgia with bruises, and he was probably touching down in Miami right about now. Not that it mattered. Alex still didn’t know what to do about Hunter, but none of the possible scenarios involved Alex ever telling anyone Hunter had lost control. Nobody would ever know what had truly happened this morning. Hunter barely functioned in society now; if he had to walk around town with people looking at him with knowledge of the violence in him, fearing him, it would kill him. Perhaps literally. Standing in the youth center, Alex waited for a moment to chat with Ty Boone before his class began. He wanted to touch base with the young director to see how the parents and guardians of his students were responding to their children taking his course. Even though school had not started up yet, Alex often found when kids could get excited about money and learn its real value in the world, it then easily transitioned to an ability to pick up math and even some of the sciences. An observant adult would notice the small changes around the home. Just as Alex stuck out his hand and accepted a high five from one of his students, Ty opened his office door, and Alex heard him say, “You’re doing me a real favor here, Deputy Stuart. I owe you a dinner as a thank-you.” A statuesque, dark-haired woman emerged from Ty’s office first. “I don’t think so.” She tightened the ponytail holding her long tresses off her face. “But nice try.” Ty came into view. He leaned against the doorjamb, wearing a lopsided smile that would melt every heterosexual woman and homosexual man’s heart. “One day you are going to see me as more than that sixteen-year-old kid you arrested and tried to interrogate. One day you are going to say yes.” It could capture every straight woman’s heart, apparently, except for Deputy Max Stuart’s. “No, I won’t.” Not one bit of her demeanor read as playing hard to get. “Have Corey call me,” she said as she backed toward the doors. “We’ll see if we can work out fair rent and get him moved in.” Every teasing, flirtatious twinkle disappeared from Ty’s face, leaving a subdued young man in its place. “Thank you again for opening your home to him. It’s…it means a lot to me.” “I can use the help with the mortgage,” Max replied. “It’s not a problem. Bye.” Max left, and Alex stepped to Ty’s side. “Is everything okay?” he asked. “My hands were tied to help someone,” Ty replied, his focus still on the door Max had just vacated. “He is of legal age, just barely, and that puts him out of all the private and government-run places I can approach to find him a temporary place to live. Any place I could get him into would take him out of Quinten, and he doesn’t want to leave here.” Alex imagined Ty could still see Deputy Stuart’s lovely form. Grinning to himself, Alex said, “It seems like you found a solution.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

185

“Let’s hope. Anyway”—Ty snapped out of his trance and swung to face Alex— “I’m sorry for your loss.” He offered his hand. “Sarah mentioned someone very important to you passed away.” As Alex clasped his hand to Ty’s, the fresh memory of packing up Mack’s uniforms and dog tags overrode all else—even what had gone down with Hunter just this morning. “Thank you,” Alex managed to say, his voice only a little gruff. Alex hadn’t talked to Sarah, but Sarah, Jace, and Jasper had sent flowers to the funeral, so Alex knew Hunter had informed them of Mack’s death when he’d called to give them a heads-up that he would be out of town. “It’s true. I did lose someone I loved a lot.” Alex felt his shoulders slumping and deliberately pushed himself up straight. “But now I’m happy to be back.” “We are too.” Ty chuckled, and his surprisingly deep voice resonated in the open room. “It’s not that we aren’t very grateful when Mr. Gainer is here to teach your course, but he’s a huge guy, and he has a way about him that intimidates some of the kids.” “Rand is a very serious man,” Alex agreed, laughing too. During their introduction for the course, he’d seen not only the kids but the adults zip their lips the second Rand stood at the front of the room. “I’m not sure he even understands the word relax.” “The kids certainly all behave in his presence. I’ll give him that.” Alex opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment Aaron entered the youth center. And—Jesus, Mary, and Joseph—Hunter stepped in right behind him. The boy shook Hunter’s hand and then ran across the big, open common area to the room where Alex would hold his stock market class. Alex waved at Aaron, but Hunter looked up and spotted Alex right then, and nothing else existed. Hunter locked in on Alex, his eyes tracking, surely assessing the angry, red bruising he could see on Alex’s face, as well as certainly picturing the ones hidden by Alex’s clothes. All color fled from Hunter’s face. He grabbed on to the door. Alex’s heart cracked seeing Hunter absorb the evidence of his actions, and as crazy as it sounded, with his face feeling like it had been on fire all day long, he ached to go to Hunter and offer him comfort. Hunter’s passionate argument for Alex to stay away still resonated inside him too, though, tearing him in the polar opposite direction. The longer Hunter stood at the door, the sicker he looked. Abruptly he tore away and disappeared. Alex’s legs screamed their desire to run after him, and his heart did too. His brain focused on the kids in his classroom getting restless, though. After telling Ty he wanted to speak to him again before he left—since he never had gotten the chance to ask what he’d wanted to—Alex heeded his brain and headed into a roomful of kids. Hunter barreled down the stairs and smacked right into his sister. Fuck. “Slow down for a minute, Bro.” Sarah grabbed his arm and steadied herself. As fast as she touched him, Hunter could see the conscious decision cross her eyes, and she took her hand off him. “Where’s the fire?”

186

Cameron Dane

“Nowhere.” Facing Sarah only reminded Hunter of yet another way he’d fucked up in life. He’d been a terrible brother. “I just have to go.” “Wait a minute.” She zigged when he zigged and blocked his escape. “I need to talk to you.” Her eyes, exact in color to his, tormented Hunter. He would never again look in the mirror and find the clarity and peace that existed in Sarah’s gaze. “Please.” “I can’t right now,” Hunter argued. Not after seeing Alex’s bruised face and cut lip and knowing worse lay under his clothes. “Then tomorrow,” Sarah said. “I want you to come to the house tomorrow.” She actually touched his hand and caressed the bruised knuckles. “Promise me.” Hunter whipped his hand away, knowing it would hurt her, but Christ, he’d used that hand to bloody a man’s face less than twelve hours ago. “Okay, I will.” Freedom came in the form of a wiry friend waving to him from across the street. “I see someone I have to talk to before he gets away. Bye.” Hunter jogged across the street and fell into step beside Corey. “Corey. Hey, man,” Hunter said, breathing easier already. This kid hadn’t known him forever or fucked him or gone to war with him, and thus the constant pressure bearing down on Hunter’s back instantly eased. “How’s it going?” “Hey, dude.” Corey glanced up from his cell phone. “I might have just gotten some good news. Can I bum a ride off you to this address?” He showed a text message to Hunter. “I need to go talk to someone about a room to rent.” “Sure.” Hunter indicated they needed to cross the street. “But where’s your truck?” Corey grimaced, and his skin mottled with red. “Someone smashed in the windshield. I can’t afford to get it fixed right now.” Waiting for the road to clear, Hunter narrowed an assessing stare on the slender young man. “Is someone harassing you?” With a shrug, Corey said, “Not more than the normal stuff I get anywhere I go.” A space in the traffic cleared, and both men jogged to the youth center parking lot. “It’s no big deal.” “If someone starts pushing you around,” Hunter said, “you let me know. I haven’t forgotten you helped get me that job at Forrest-Hawk. You looked out for me”—Hunter unlocked the passenger door for Corey—“and I will return the favor.” Once Hunter had climbed in behind the wheel, Corey responded, “Thanks, but I have to handle this kind of stuff myself. If I’m always getting help, people won’t ever see me as a man.” “My help is there if you want it.” “Thanks, dude.” Corey offered his fist for a bump. For one of the few times since losing his fingers, Hunter knocked Corey’s fist with his gloved hand rather than his good one. The scraped knuckles on his good hand reminded him too much of the monster he’d become. “Let’s go find this house.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

187

*** Alex said good night to the last of his students, as well as the girl’s mother, and went back into the colorful classroom to gather his files. A moment later, a soft knock sounded at the door. He looked up and naturally smiled. “Hi, Sarah.” Seeing her instantly conjured warmth in Alex. As an only child, Alex had started thinking of her as the sibling he always wished he could have. She was someone he actually liked and wanted in his life. “Thank you for the flowers. Tell Jace and Jasper the same for me. It meant a lot.” “I wish we could have done more.” Her brow pulled, and after relentlessly tapping her fingernails into the door for a full minute in silence, she finally said, “Listen. Can I talk to you for a minute?” “Sure.” Alex leaned against a low bookshelf and crossed his legs. “Shoot.” “I know what I want as my thank-you for helping you.” “Great.” Alex grabbed a piece of paper out of a printer tray. “Tell me what it is, and it’s yours.” Sarah sucked her lower lip into her mouth but then blurted, “I don’t want you to give up on Hunter.” Alex jerked upright, but Sarah quickly put up a stop sign with her hands. “I know he’s hard to love right now, but you’re a good man, and he needs dependable, good people in his life.” What the hell? Alex’s mind spun on the heels of her bombshell. “Sarah…” Crap. “I don’t know what Hunter has told you about us but—” “He hasn’t told me anything,” Sarah interrupted. “But your friend died, and he went with you to Georgia. That has to mean something. Earlier I saw his knuckles all scabbed up, and he was clearly distressed, and now I see your face.” She shrugged. “It doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots.” “It’s not—” Alex clamped his mouth shut. Motherfucking shit. “I can’t really talk about it. I not only don’t know what he has disclosed about our relationship, but also about himself. I don’t feel like I have the right.” “I understand. I don’t want you to anyway. That’s not why I’m here.” Fidgeting first with her hair and then her shirt, Sarah visibly struggled to blink back tears. “I just know my brother is really struggling right now. He’s in a bad place. But he truly is a stand-up person. He has a big heart. He did something not a lot of people do anymore—he signed up to be a part of the military because he believed in what wearing a uniform stood for.” She paused to take a breath, and Alex could tell this conversation made her incredibly uncomfortable. “Normally I would never ask a person to give a second chance to someone who hit him. But in this case I know Hunter, and I know deep down he is not a violent man. He’s worth loving.” “Sarah…” Damn it. Alex felt like a parrot. And his hands felt completely tied. “This is all I want,” she added quickly. “If you can’t give it to me, I won’t hate you. I will understand, and we’ll remain friends. But I just ask that you think about the Hunter I know you must have glimpsed at least once—the man who went with you to help bury a friend. He’s worth the fight for him. I swear he is. Anyway”—she

188

Cameron Dane

smiled just a bit too brightly—“thanks for letting me speak my piece. I’ll leave you to finish up. Bye.” She left before Alex could figure out what to say. Alex yanked one of the kids’ chairs out from the media hub in the center of the room and sank into it. Good God. He’d once told Sarah he could give her anything as a thank-you. Nothing was too big or too much. Who the hell could have known she would ask for his recently bruised heart for her brother? He fingered his tender ribs. For the first time in his life, Alex didn’t know if he could keep his word.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

189

Chapter Sixteen After knocking on the door, Hunter followed Jace’s, “Come around back!” to the open gate that led to Sarah, Jace, and Jasper’s backyard. He would rather spend this Saturday afternoon doing just about anything other than shooting the shit with his sister and her two boyfriends, hoping like the devil nobody said anything that would send him into a tailspin. If he could slip into the black rage and beat up Alex, then, Christ, how safe was Sarah? As soon as Hunter rounded the house, the voices died off, and the first bad shiver went down his spine. Jasper got up from the table, said hello, shook Hunter’s hand, and went inside. The fine hairs on the back of Hunter’s neck shot up on end. He whirled on Jace and Sarah. “What the fuck is going on here?” Jace stood and lifted his arm toward the house. “Why don’t we go inside?” “I’m not going anywhere.” Hunter’s voice registered in such a growling, low tone it barely held sound. “You tell me what the hell is going on, and you do it right now.” Sarah moved to Jace’s side. Her eyes, so big and full of love for him, only kicked up the swirl beginning in Hunter’s gut. “H-Hunter”—it crushed him to hear her stammer—“it’s time for you to tell us what is going on with you. There’s no putting it off anymore.” Hunter automatically dug for his pocketknife but came up empty. Shit. It was still wherever it had landed in Alex’s bedroom yesterday morning. Hunter’s good hand curled into a fist as a terrible panic triggered inside him. “I’m leaving.” He couldn’t even look at his sister. “You’re not going anywhere.” Jace grabbed Hunter’s arm and jerked him to a chair close by. “If you refuse to do this inside, then we’ll do it right here. Sit down and listen to Sarah”—true menace lived in the man’s voice and eyes, reminding Hunter that Jace had the capability of delivering violence too—“or I will cuff you to something so that you cannot move.” Everything in Hunter itched to charge at Jace, but he thanked God he still had enough control to recognize his sister right at Jace’s side and comprehend she could get hurt in a fight. He snarled at Jace but took a seat. “You always were a bastard.” Jace didn’t move an inch away. “I always told you I was.”

190

Cameron Dane

Sarah knelt in front of Hunter and rested her arms on his legs. “You know I love you. Right?” She picked up his hand with the scraped knuckles. “You know I would never do anything to harm you either. Right?” The brush of her fingertips over the evidence of how violent he’d become nearly undid him. Visions of slashing his flesh with a knife did nothing to silence the chaos inside Hunter. “You don’t understand what you’re asking me to do,” Hunter said, his voice cracking. Sarah only kept looking up at him with love. “Then you need to tell me so I can.” When Alex spotted Hunter’s truck, he almost drove past Sarah’s house without stopping. But the thought of tucking tail and running for a safer day never had appealed to him. Aside from that, what he had to say affected Hunter too. Before Alex could get up the porch steps and knock, Jasper swung open the door. “Hey, Jas. Is Sarah busy?” Alex asked the lanky cowboy. “I need to talk to her. And Hunter too.” “They’re workin’ somethin’ out right now.” Jasper kept looking over his shoulder. “It ain’t a good time.” Right then a familiar voice rang through the house, and Alex’s heart seized. “Working out what?” He pushed against Jasper. “What are you guys doing to Hunter?” Jasper took hold of Alex’s arms and became an impenetrable wall. “Sarah and Jace are tryin’ to help him. If you think you’re gonna go bust it up, I gotta tell you I’ve taken down bulls that weigh a helluva lot more than you. It ain’t gonna be nothin’ to tie you up if I have to.” “You guys don’t understand what is going on inside him,” Alex implored, flashing back on yesterday morning. “He doesn’t want to talk about it, and he could hurt someone in his effort to keep it hidden.” “I’m here for extra muscle if Jace and Sarah need me. And every minute I spend talkin’ to you”—Jasper’s muscles strained, but he effectively kept Alex on the porch—“is a minute I ain’t usin’ to keep watch over them.” Instinct and years of business training allowed Alex to back off and lift his hands in surrender. “I understand you, but you have to understand that Hunter is very important to me.” Zeroing in on what he knew of Jasper, Alex changed his tact. “Just like you need to be here for Sarah and Jace, I need to be here in case Hunter needs me.” “All right. But we’re watchin’ from inside,” Jasper said, still not letting Alex over the threshold. “We’re not gettin’ in the middle of them unless there’s violence. I will not think twice about trussin’ you up if it looks like you’re gonna try to make a run for them.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

191

“I just want to be close by.” For Alex, nothing mattered more than having Hunter’s back. “I need to.” “Then let’s go.” Jasper led Alex into the house. “You have to let me leave.” Hunter pleaded with his sister. He looked at her pretty face and could only see Alex’s bruised one layered on top of hers. “I could lose control and hurt you.” Shaking her head, Sarah squeezed Hunter’s hand. “You would never lay a hand on me.” “And I would never let you,” Jace added. He squatted down and got into Hunter’s space too. “I’m here to protect Sarah as much as I’m here to help you.” “You should ask Alex what I’m capable of doing!” Hunter ripped his hand out of Sarah’s and scraped his palm into the arm of the chair, trying to find a sharp corner he could use to dig into his skin. “I didn’t want to hurt him, but he’s pretty damn beat up right now anyway. I lost control, and I feel one step away from losing it again. I always do.” When Hunter couldn’t find a loose nail or sharp edge in the chair’s arm, he turned to Jace. “If you really want to keep Sarah safe, you have to let me go.” Sarah touched Hunter’s cheek, and he reared. She stayed with him and drew his focus back to her. “I know what you’re trying to warn me about,” she shared. “I’ve seen Alex. He didn’t say a word against you, but he didn’t have to. I know you’re the one who beat him up.” Oh Jesus God. “I didn’t want to.” Shame shoved its way into the turmoil inside Hunter, vying for its space to eat at him until only a gutted carcass remained. “I swear I didn’t. I never wanted to hurt him. I-I-I—” Hunter’s love for Alex pushed at the demons inside, feeding them more power. “You need to give me a knife.” The heat and the red clouds—the same as happened at Alex’s—crept deeper and deeper into every corner of Hunter’s being. “This isn’t working, and it going to get bad fast.” Sarah kept hold of Hunter’s face and dragged him back to her every time he tried to break her stare. “What’s going to get bad?” she asked. “Why will it?” Her hands on him, the gentle kindness in her touch, worked on Hunter like acid, burning him clean through. “There’s too much pain”—he clawed the chair with a death grip to keep from ripping Sarah’s arms off so she would stop touching him— “and I can’t shake it. I can’t feel. Feeling is bad.” He looked to Jace again, willing him to understand. “Give me your knife.” He practically wheezed trying to speak. “I know you have one on you somewhere.” Jace held a piercing stare on Hunter that felt like drills boring holes right into his brain. “Why do you want my knife?” Blackness started edging into Hunter’s peripheral vision, signaling the end of his control. “Because I might kill you or her if I don’t get it.” In a last ditch effort, Hunter shoved the chair backward instead of forward and managed to surge to his feet without hurting Sarah. “Go away. Now.”

192

Cameron Dane

On Hunter in a flash, Jace wrestled him to a tree. “We’re not leaving you. Get used to it.” Terrified as his ring of sight got smaller, Hunter ripped open his shirt and tore into his skin without relent. He scraped flesh off his body in one long drag across his stomach and chest. Pain seared through his torso, and some of the blackness started to ebb. His heart still raced out of control, though, and he didn’t have anything near clear vision yet. Just as fast, he clawed his two fingers and thumb on his damaged hand through his skin in the other direction, arcing more fire and pushing more of the dark clouds away. Hunter dug again, trying to flay his chest open a third time, but Jace successfully captured his arms and held them down at his sides. “Stop it.” Jace shook Hunter. “That’s enough. You’re not hurting yourself anymore.” “Please.” Hunter folded over, with Jace still holding on to him, and sucked in deep gulps of air, desperate to cool down his system. With his focus on the flesh he’d just shredded, Hunter willed the stinging gashes to be enough for just a little while longer. Until I can get away. “Look at me, Hunter,” Sarah said. She ran her fingers through his hair and even kissed the crown of his head. The gesture so reminded him of exactly something their mother used to do that a secret place deep inside Hunter shattered. “Look at me.” “I can’t,” Hunter whispered, his voice stripped bare. “I abandoned you too many times. Every time I see you, I remember your little sixteen-year-old face and skinny body, and all I see is you taking care of Mom all by yourself because I wasn’t here. All I can imagine are all the doctors’ appointments you had to go to with her all alone and listen to stuff about your mother’s life ending because I wasn’t here to sit in that seat for you.” Guilt pushed out tears Hunter desperately couldn’t afford to shed. But Sarah kept running her fingers through his hair, and the waterworks and words just kept gushing out of him. “Then after Mom died, I didn’t even stay to help you grieve. I dumped you on Jace again to assuage my conscience and I went away. Jesus.” Hunter finally reared up, just because he couldn’t bear her hands on him anymore. “I didn’t even come home to you when the military discharged me. I was too fucked-up in the head”—he smacked his skull into the tree—“to return to Quinten. I couldn’t face your heartbreak if you knew I was stateside and not with you, so I didn’t tell you. I let Jace live with that secret for me. I dumped that on my best friend.” He glanced at the man whose friendship he’d egregiously abused. “Big of me.” Sarah swiped wetness from her cheeks. “Is this what you’ve been living with in your head the whole time?” The laugh that escaped Hunter sounded insane, even to his own ears. “That doesn’t even scratch the surface.” “Then don’t stop talking,” Sarah pleaded, grabbing his hands again. “We need to know everything.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

193

“I can’t. It’s too ugly. Please, Jace.” Hunter could hardly feel the scratches he’d just put on his skin, and he knew the shit storm would come over him again soon. “Give me your knife.” “So you can do more of this to your body?” Jace yanked half of Hunter’s shirt away from his torso and down his upper arm, revealing more evidence of Hunter’s self-abuse. “No way.” Shit. Hunter pulled against Jace’s hold on his arms, desperate to at least scratch himself again. “If I don’t hurt myself, I’ll lose it and attack you. It’s the only way to calm the chaos and the blackness and the violence inside.” He switched to curling his hand into a fist and started digging his fingernails into his palm. “I have to do it now.” “Not anymore.” Moving into his space, Sarah then took hold of Hunter and got up on tiptoes to put them forehead to forehead. “I love you too much to lose you when I just got you back.” “You don’t have me back,” Hunter revealed, breaking down even more as blood trickled in his closed hand. “The Hunter you used to know is dead.” “Then I want this new Hunter,” Sarah said, clutching him even tighter. “Whoever he turns out to be. I’m not going to let him alternate between hiding and self-destructing to the point where he doesn’t have a life. You did not survive all that time in Afghanistan and Iraq just to come home and die.” “Too many good people didn’t.” Will and Trey constantly lived in Hunter’s head. “I watched too many soldiers better than me die. I can never get past that.” “We’re not saying you should,” Sarah told him. “But you do have to find a way to live with it.” Hunter could hardly hear Sarah over the roaring of blood rushing in his ears. “It’s not possible to live with so much death. At my hands—at others.” He opened his mouth, but at first nothing came out. Finally, so terribly raw, he whispered, “You don’t know.” Taking up point, Jace tucked in close to Hunter too. “You’re right. We don’t. But one of those therapists’ names I gave you is also an army veteran who has served in combat. You could open up and tell him anything without fear that he would judge you or wouldn’t understand. I think he could help you, Hunter, if you’d only let him. And we would be here to support you with however much or little you need all the way.” “You can’t go on like this.” Sarah’s voice registered too high, and Hunter knew her throat was as tight as his was. “I know you don’t want to. I know you want to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I think this therapist in Billings might be it.” Blood trickled down Hunter’s torso, over scars so recent they hadn’t yet healed. Yet the rage still kicked and punched at him inside, demanding more blood. His…or someone else’s. It would never stop. “If I go on much longer like this”—Hunter’s chest heaved with unspeakable pain—“it’s going to kill me. I know it.”

194

Cameron Dane

“No way.” Jace took Hunter’s hand, smearing his palm into Hunter’s bloody one without cringing or loosening his hold. “You have too much to live for. Even if you can’t see it for yourself right now, we can see it for you. You have to trust us that we’re right.” Sarah took a step back, giving Hunter breathing room, but her wonderful, loving stare kept him prisoner. “Understand something, Hunter. You didn’t abandon me. I’m very proud of the life you chose, and I could not love you more right now for having the guts to face what it has done to you.” A smile—a wobbly one—appeared. “Do you remember what you told me when I told you I was scared for you to enlist in the army because you’d have to hide that you’re gay?” Hunter could still remember her dragging him into her pink bedroom and pushing him to sit on her bed. “I said it doesn’t matter.” For the first time in years, a story about Sarah didn’t overwhelm Hunter and shut him down. “I said that something in my soul I can’t ignore is telling me I have to serve.” “Right.” With a nod, Sarah rubbed his upper arms. “And somewhere within everything terrible inside you right now still exists that truth. You answered a calling, and it beat the shit out of you. But you are strong, and you can get yourself back. Or better, create a new man who has the history of premilitary Hunter, soldier-in-war Hunter, veteran Hunter, and now cowboy Hunter. They don’t have to fight each other. With some help, I believe you can let all those parts of you live peacefully together.” Exhaling shakily, Hunter used the tree for support. He felt like a boxer who’d gone ten rounds. Immediately thoughts of Alex tore through his gut and shoved him into the ring again. “I never again want to feel the way I did yesterday morning after I beat up Alex.” He would never forget that man’s mangled face or the knowledge that he’d used his fists to do it. Tears leaking, Hunter whispered, “I’m so sorry I hurt him.” “Then let that be your place to start,” Sarah said. “If you can’t yet bring yourself to ask for help, just for yourself, then do it so you never have to fear hurting Alex or anyone else again.” “I have the therapist’s number inside,” Jace added, clearly unwilling to give Hunter a chance to refuse. “Why don’t you give him a call?” “I will.” If Hunter had any sliver of hope Alex could still find a way to love him, he had to find a way to become worthy of it. “I need to.” “Good.” This time Sarah didn’t grab him. She simply held out her hand. “After you make that call, I want you to stay here. I want you to just sleep for twenty-four hours.” She studied him openly, in a way that still pushed at the demons within. “I can see how tired you are.” His heart raced terribly, and dizziness threatened to topple him, but Hunter took his sister’s hand. “You have no idea.” Jace slung his arm around Hunter’s shoulders. “Then let’s go.” Hunter looked up and found Alex standing on the back stoop.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

195

Jesus. Alex watched Hunter approach. The beauty, dignity, and strength in the man took his breath away. Alex had heard every word of this threesome’s conversation, and had pretty much held his breath the entire length of their talk. Alex and Jasper had even rushed outside when Hunter had started scratching himself. But Jace had subdued him so quickly Jasper had clamped a hand over Alex’s mouth and dragged him back into the house undetected. Sarah acknowledged Alex but looked to Hunter. “Are you going to be okay with this?” she asked him. It took Hunter a good minute before he said, “Yeah. Give us a few minutes, and I’ll be inside.” Alex waited for the door to close behind Sarah and Jace, and then turned his full attention on Hunter. “Hi,” he began, feeling oddly shy. Hunter’s face burned. “You heard all that, did you?” The man slipped to pushing his fingernails into his palm again. Alex could tell by the way Hunter clenched his fist he was hurting himself, but Alex didn’t try to stop it. If Hunter needed the distraction until he could get to that therapist, Alex would give it to him without further humiliation. “I did,” Alex replied. He so ached to wrap his arms around Hunter and promise him everything would be all right, but forced himself to keep the three feet of distance between them. “I’m so proud of you.” “I don’t know what I am right now,” Hunter admitted. “Definitely not proud.” He fidgeted furiously, as if he no longer knew how to conduct himself around Alex. “I don’t know if I will know for a long time.” “I get that.” Alex fell silent, and he belatedly realized he’d picked up scuffing his boot into the grass, just like Hunter did. “Before you go inside,” Alex suddenly blurted, “I wanted to apologize for pushing at you the way I did yesterday morning.” Hunter jerked upright, his face paling. “You didn’t—” Alex put up his hand. “No, I did. I contributed to what happened yesterday. In my work, when I’m trying to figure out an opponent, I have this thing I do where I push at a person until I can find the source of his or her weakness. It’s something like psychological warfare. I poke at the person until I can break him or her down and get what I want. It wasn’t conscious, but I used the same technique on you. I pushed at you and pushed at you and pushed at you, as if you were the enemy I needed to conquer, and that wasn’t fair. You’re not a business or an acquisition. You are a person I care about very much. If I have any excuse, it was because it crushed me when I couldn’t do anything to save Mack, and I was determined not to lose you too.” Hunter’s chest heaved, and his eyes watered. “The main thing I can’t live with in myself, the thing that is going to make me call this guy, is the idea that I could

196

Cameron Dane

hurt you again. Or do worse if I were to snap a second time.” His raw voice scratched right against Alex’s heart. Alex’s chest banded exquisitely tightly. “Then it was worth it.” His hand trembling and smeared with blood, Hunter touched his fingers to Alex’s bruised face. “I’m so sorry I did this to you.” Alex moved his head and brushed his lips against the back of Hunter’s hand. “Just take care of yourself. It goes against every natural grain of the problem solver inside me, but I came to accept something about myself today while listening to you, Sarah, and Jace.” Biting back a curse as the words got stuck in his craw, Alex finally forced himself to say, “I don’t have the skills to help you. I can’t fix you just because I love you and want to. That’s so fucking hard for me to admit.” He knew he blushed beet red but kept his head up anyway. “You have no idea.” “Actually I’ve been with you enough to say I do know how much that would grate on you.” Hunter chuckled, a real, honest, small laugh, and it wrapped the sweetest joy around Alex’s captured heart. “Here’s what I can say,” Alex went on. “I will be here.” He locked his gaze on Hunter’s and prayed the man could feel the truth in his words. “I’m not going anywhere. I will get out of your way because I know you need this time to heal without the pressure of a relationship on your back. But all you have to do is say the word, and I will be at your side. It does not matter the day. It does not matter the hour. I am there if you need me.” “Thank you.” Hunter’s voice caught. “It’s more than I deserve.” “No, it isn’t. I wish I could give you more.” Unable to stop himself, Alex brushed a tear from the corner of Hunter’s eye. “Last night your sister said the only thing she wanted as a thank-you from me was for me to stick with you and give you a second chance. She’s going to have to come up with something else, because there was never any chance I was walking away from you anyway.” Now Alex’s voice cracked. “I’m here for the long haul, Hunt.” Alex had already begun making a list of his homework, starting with learning everything he could about PTSD, survivor’s guilt, self-harming, and how to best help a loved one returning from war. “Whenever you’re ready for me, I’ll be there.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against Hunter’s cheek, taking a moment to savor the contact before whispering, “Now go get some sleep.” Then Alex did the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. He walked away from the man he loved.

*** Sweat poured down Hunter’s body under his clothes. Down his face too. And he couldn’t stop shaking, no matter he had Sarah holding his hand on one side, and Jace doing the same on the other. A doctor sat twenty feet away on the other side of a closed door, waiting to hear Hunter spill his guts. Expecting Hunter to emotionally cut himself open worse than the way he’d physically done to himself for nearly two years. Instinct punched at Hunter inside, demanding he yank away from

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

197

Sarah and Jace and run to the cover of somewhere private. He had a knife in his pocket once more—he couldn’t yet accept he would ever reach a day where he wouldn’t need it. Christ, his fingers itched against Sarah’s and Jace’s to take hold of it right now. “Here.” Sarah held out a wad of tissues. “You made it this first step.” Squeezing his damaged hand, she nodded at him. “You’re going to be okay.” After letting go of Jace, Hunter wiped the perspiration from his face as Jace said, “You’re doing great, man.” He rubbed Hunter’s forearm. “We’re going to be here when you get out.” Right then a woman appeared in the arch on the other side of the small office. “Mr. Tennison.” She wore a gentle, professional smile. “Dr. Royan will see you now.” Sarah gave Hunter back his hand. He crossed the waiting area and followed the young woman to a closed door. Knocking softly, she didn’t wait for an answer before pushing open the door. Feeling near to vomiting, Hunter followed her prompt to “Go ahead inside.” A man with dark hair graying at the temples leaned against a desk, his hand extended in greeting. “Hunter”—they shook hands—“I’m Dr. Royan. It’s good to meet you.” The urge to tear though this office and rip it to shreds did battle inside Hunter’s head with the need to cut into his skin until he coated the carpeting in his blood. Fuck. “Sir.” Hunter rubbed over his pocket, needing to feel his knife, even through his clothing. “I have to be upfront. There’s a lot of violence in me, and it’s twisting me up pretty bad right now.” “Take a look at me, Hunter.” The man stood up straight, revealing a height and breadth of shoulders that outmatched Hunter by at least four inches. “I’ve seen the wars you’ve seen. I experienced the challenges of transitioning back into civilian life too, although perhaps in a way different from you. If aggression becomes a part of your course to getting well, then I can handle whatever you need to bring.” The doctor’s eyes showed a man even stronger than his frame and indicated someone who’d served a leadership role in his military career. “Understand?” Breathing just a touch easier, Hunter dipped his head. “Yes, sir.” “Good.” Dr. Royan didn’t pretend not to see Hunter’s hand on his pocket. He still led Hunter to a pair of chairs anyway. “Why don’t you take a seat, and we’ll get started.” Terrified, maybe worse than the first time he’d stepped into battle with the enemy, Hunter sat down anyway.

198

Cameron Dane

Chapter Seventeen August Shaking his head, struggling to breathe, Hunter fought an internal battle against Dr. Royan’s push to make Hunter again speak aloud the atrocities he imagined himself capable of doing—of becoming—when he closed his eyes and dreamed. “I can’t,” he whispered, his voice barely a rasp of sound. “You can,” Dr. Royan replied, his voice as steady as Hunter’s was weak. “Tell me what you saw and what you were doing in last night’s dream.” “No.” Mentally Hunter waged a war to keep only nice, calming pictures in his mind—such as his work at Forrest-Hawk or the patience and love of his sister—but the blackness of blood draining from body after body seeped into that image. He cringed and jerked as he felt his fist crack into Trey’s and Will’s lifeless bodies again and again, driven in his nightmares to punish them more for dying and leaving Hunter to suffer alone. In Hunter’s head, Alex appeared, begging Hunter to stop hurting Trey and Will, but Hunter only roared and turned on Alex and began to savagely beat him till his body fell into the pool of blood, as lifeless as the other two. Which isn’t all a dream. Hunter shuddered and shot out of his seat, desperate to claw his way out of this fucked-up, damaged head and body forever. I really did beat him, and I’ll do it again if I can’t make this stop. “Please.” Hunter stalked to the doctor’s desk and started tearing through the drawers. “Where did you put it?” He’d foolishly surrendered his pocketknife to Dr. Royan at the start of this session, and if he didn’t get it back right now, the ugliness slamming in his brain and ripping through his blood would win out and take him over. “I need to make it stop.” “Let yourself see the nightmare, Hunter.” On his feet now too, Dr. Royan walked to Hunter and towered over him like a giant. “See that it isn’t real, and understand that the fear you feel when you create these scenes in your head do not control your reality.” The doctor’s pale gaze held firm, and every bit of his calm demeanor pushed at the ugly places inside Hunter, shaming him more. “Parts of it are real!” Other screams raged so loud and high in Hunter’s head, demanding blood, he could barely hear his own voice. “I told you what I did to Alex!” Giving up on finding his knife, Hunter scanned the area, searching, searching, and then moved to the bookshelves in the office in a search of something within the memorabilia that would serve as a weapon. “I wanted to keep hitting him.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

199

Dr. Royan followed Hunter and got right in his face once more. “Hunter, listen to me. In your need to shut down everything going on inside you, you have compromised your ability to adequately determine the violence you are capable of outside of a war zone. You want to hurt yourself so that you don’t have to feel. Your brain is manufacturing dreams and fantasies in order to make you believe that you’re so awful that you killed Alex, just as the enemy did Trey and Will. In doing so, you give yourself permission to hurt yourself as a punishment. You tell yourself you’re capable of killing Alex as a way to justify turning that violence on yourself, when in truth, this is not a war zone, Alex is not the enemy, and thus you would not kill him.” No. You don’t understand. Hunter jerked away from Dr. Royan and prowled his way around the office in the other direction. “But the dreams…” Words, confessions choked Hunter on the way out, but he needed this man to believe and accept. “The pleasure in the dreams when I hurt someone… It’s just… You can’t…” The desire for violence shredding its way through Hunter’s insides told him this man could not help him and that he was even outright lying. If Hunter believed Dr. Royan, the next thing Hunter knew, he would wake up from a blackout with Alex dead next to him, and the bloody knife that had done the deed in Hunter’s hand. No! Debilitating cold drenched Hunter from top to bottom and staggered him to a stop. “The release I feel with the pain…mine…his…I need it. In order to keep others safe”—Hunter spotted salvation in his dark, ugly reflection—“it has to be directed at me.” Letting out a roar, he ran across the room and rammed his fist straight into an enormous mirror. Ahhhh shiittt! White-hot fire sliced through Hunter’s knuckles and hand and quickly sent licking flames into his arm, yet it barely appeased the violence of the animal inside him. Shards from the mirror sprayed out in a fan around his boots. He dropped to kneel on the floor and silently screamed as tiny pieces of glass dug into his knees. Yeesss. Give me more. As Hunter wrapped his hand around a large, pointed piece of mirror, Dr. Royan chopped Hunter’s wrist with his hand and sent a numbing pain through his fingers that forced Hunter to release the glass. “No.” Dr. Royan maintained a death grip on Hunter’s arm, refusing him the glass Hunter so desperately needed. “The cutting isn’t effective. Hurting yourself is temporary oblivion, Hunter. It is not an answer to everything that haunts you.” “Therapy isn’t either.” Hunter wheezed terribly, trying to bring normalcy back to his breathing even as he cursed the joke of a man he had become. “You can’t help me.” In place of the mirror fragment Hunter craved slicing into his flesh, he ground his knees into the other shards instead, letting the hundreds of little sharp edges dig into his skin through his jeans. Each pinprick of pain cutting through to Hunter’s kneecaps poked tiny, bright holes in the darkness pushing to control him. As Hunter allowed himself to submerge into the physical hurt coursing through him, he finally stopped hyperventilating and was able to blink away the demonic red clouds from his sight and mind.

200

Cameron Dane

Pain. The only thing that has ever worked before. A shining light of truth put a spotlight on Hunter’s reality, his future, and crushed what was left of his faith. The only thing that will ever work. Gutted, Hunter uttered, “Nobody can help.” Wrenching his arm out of the doctor’s hold, surging with strength in his overwhelming desire to get away and lick his wounds in private, Hunter pushed upright and strode to the door. “I’m sorry I’ve wasted so much of your time.” Shaking like hell, Hunter somehow managed to get the door open. As soon as he did, he sprinted through the waiting area, past his too-patient sister and her always hopeful eyes, and through the small medical center until he got outside. Heat and humidity slammed through Hunter, but he didn’t care. He welcomed the high temperature that offered him an easy excuse for why his shirt clung to his back and sweat poured down his face and neck. Just as Hunter reached his truck, Sarah’s voice carried across the parking lot. “Hunter!” She thundered to a stop at his side. “What happened?” With every muscle in him seizing so fucking tightly, hurting him worse than the miniscule pieces of mirror still in his knees, Hunter made himself face Sarah. “This isn’t going to help me, Sis.” As he told her the truth, her eyes watered and she mouthed no. The sight of her denial sucker punched him. “I know you hoped for a miracle, but sitting in that office talking about myself and taking away my knife isn’t going to make me better. I can’t get better.” He flashed on his nightmare from last night, the one Dr. Royan had wanted him to spill the details of today, and he could only see himself brutalizing his already dead brothers-in-arms and then taking Alex’s life. Shaking his head as if to deny that picture, Hunter said, “Maybe I’m not supposed to.” Sarah’s face crumpled. “But…” Right then Dr. Royan emerged from the building and moved with big, confident steps to Hunter and Sarah. “Hunter, come back inside.” “No more.” In deference to Dr. Royan’s military ranking of lieutenant colonel, Hunter had an instinctual knee-jerk reaction to drop his head and comply. This time, though, too many violent thoughts sat too close to the surface, and Hunter could not ignore them. “I can’t sit in that office and tell you about one more single day of my life. The nightmares are worse now than they ever were.” In the month since he’d agreed to see the doctor, Hunter hadn’t gone a single night without repeated, horrific, graphic dreams. “If I keep coming to you”—he laughed, something full of grit and roughness—“I’m never going to sleep again.” Dr. Royan’s attention dropped to Hunter’s bleeding knuckles. “Let me at least take a look at your hand.” Hunter shoved his hand behind his back and then took a moment to squeeze it into a fist to maximize the swelling of discomfort. “I’m used to tending to my own wounds. I know how to take care of it.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

201

The older soldier’s mouth narrowed down to an unforgiving line, but he nodded and took a step back. Confidence and life, however, still lit his eyes. “Give me a week, Hunter. One week to regroup and come up with a new strategy for your sessions. Don’t throw this away yet.” His throat so tight it felt like a pair of hands strangled him, Hunter shook his head. “No. I can learn how to live with this by myself.” The spark of a man used to being in command lit Dr. Royan’s eyes and stiffened his back. “I have the ability to remand you for a mandatory psych evaluation on the grounds that you are a danger to yourself,” he said, his tone low yet striking. “I don’t want to do that. I believe I can help you through outpatient care, and I believe you will succeed at a faster rate outside of confinement. Don’t put yourself in a position where I have to take that other route.” His stare softened, and his mouth lost some of its hard lines. “You’re still a young man, Hunter. Say yes and give yourself the best chance you can for a full life. I know you want one.” With just the tips of her fingers, Sarah touched Hunter’s arm for the briefest second. “Please.” Her voice cracked on her plea. “Please don’t give up.” Unable to bear the tears rimming Sarah’s eyes, Hunter cursed and turned back to the doctor. “Fine. We can keep going.” Dr. Royan nodded, and Hunter noticed he discreetly pumped his fist in victory against his thigh. “I will be in touch with you very soon.” As he walked away, he called out, “Take care of your hand!” Before Hunter put the key in the driver’s side door, Sarah took it from him and told him she would do the driving back to Quinten. Hunter didn’t put up a fight. Much as he hadn’t done with Dr. Royan. Just because Hunter had agreed to see the doctor again—for his sister’s sake—didn’t mean he believed it would do him any good. He knew it would not. This was how Hunter was supposed to be for the rest of his life. Violent, ugly, and fucked-up. And alone. His heart ached as the truth settled into his soul once more. I’m so sorry, Alex.

*** “This is beyond generous,” Ty said to Alex, then whistled softly as he took another look at the check in his hand. “We’re just having lunch, and I was letting off some steam. I didn’t mean for you to hand over a donation.” The young man took another look at the dollar figure and then started to slide the check back across the table where they sat at the diner. Alex stopped Ty midpush. “Keep it. I know you didn’t invite me to lunch with any intention of parting me from some of my cash. It’s for more than revamping the bathrooms.” Ty had just finished explaining that a small plumbing issue in the boys’ bathroom at the youth center had unearthed a major issue with the pipes that the plumber had explained would be better to overhaul now than risk massive damage if left untended. “Think of it as something of a finder’s fee for the future Quick

202

Cameron Dane

employees that come out of the stock market program here. In another ten years or so, I know I’m going to end up hiring at least a few of your kids.” With a nod and a thank-you, Ty folded the check and slid it into his jeans’ pocket. “Does that mean you plan on being in Quinten in another decade?” A familiar dull ache flared in Alex’s belly, and he murmured, “I hope I have a reason to be.” He had yet to do more than make brief eye contact with Hunter in the time they’d been apart, though. In those rare moments, it still appeared as if Hunter couldn’t bear to hold Alex’s gaze for more than a second. Alex knew the man well enough to read that guilt and horror still ate at Hunter for what he’d done to Alex, and it was all Alex could do to keep himself from barging his way back into Hunter’s life to demand answers and some control over Hunter’s care. The urge to help Hunter, the need to play an active role in his efforts to gain some peace in his life, pushed daily at Alex’s instincts to take action. Remaining in the background, when everything in him shouted to push his way into Hunter’s world, had become the greatest struggle of Alex’s life. “Alex?” Softly saying Alex’s name, Ty also waved his hand in front of Alex’s face and brought Alex back into the diner. “Are you all right, man?” Clearing his throat, getting out that awful, constant tightness, Alex grimaced. “I’m struggling to accept a situation I cannot control.” One that might not result in the outcome I want so badly. “It’s fucking hard.” To protect Hunter, Alex kept his answer vague. Dark eyes, so full of awareness and empathy for such a young man, stared back at Alex. “If you ever need to talk,” Ty said, “or even if you just want someone to hang out with because you can’t stand to hear yourself think anymore, give me a call.” His attention slid toward the picture window at his right—and Alex could guess to the sheriff’s station across the street. “I have something of a frustration that lives under my skin more than I wish it did too, and could use the company.” “Still a no-go with Deputy Stuart, huh?” Alex asked. He’d been around the dark-haired young man enough now to understand his very real attraction to the beautiful, older Max. “My blue balls would agree and tell you it’s time to start dating other people”— his lips flattening to a hard line, Ty pulled his stare off the station and put the full glint of it back on Alex—“and I’m starting to feel the rest of me murmur in agreement that it’s time to give up as well.” Alex parted his lips to respond, but a breathtakingly beautiful sight across the street grabbed his complete attention. Hunter. On the other side of the road, Hunter walked up the sidewalk with his head down and his hands jammed into his pockets. He still wore a long-sleeved shirt, even in the middle of August, and that tell of his continued shame sliced a deep cut right through Alex’s heart. Watching, unable to tear his gaze away, Alex stayed with Hunter as he put his hand on the door to the sheriff’s station. At the last moment, Hunter looked up, through the glass windows on the upper half of the double doors, shook his head, and then turned away. Just

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

203

as fast as Hunter had lifted his head, he turned it back down and strode away in the direction from which he had just come. No. No. No. He’s faltering. You’re letting him drown again. Moving on automatic, Alex slid out of his seat, guided by a gut-level instinct to hold and help his man. “Excuse me.” Still keeping an eye outside, while also leaving money for his lunch on the table, Alex noticed Sarah exit the station and race down the street in Hunter’s direction. One step away from the booth, Alex turned back to the guy he was ditching, a person he now considered a real friend. “Don’t give up.” He kept his voice low and added, “Not if you really want her. Bye.” After running out of the diner, Alex could barely hold his legs still while he waited thirty seconds for a gap in traffic to allow him to bolt across the street. In the distance, just after Alex got to the other side of the street, Hunter crossed the street as well, leaving Alex on the wrong side once more. With Sarah catching up to him, Hunter looked over his shoulder but clearly sidestepped out of her reach. Alex picked up speed, everything in him driven to intervene. Breaking into a sprint, Alex ran toward them both, his pulse skittering with wild panic as they turned and disappeared from Alex’s sight. He knew a parking lot existed beyond, and said a silent prayer that he could get to Hunter before he drove away. Just as Alex started to cross the street again, he jerked himself to a stop midway to the other side. Spinning, Alex shouted an apology as a car swerved to avoid hitting him. Just as single-mindedly as Alex had taken off after Hunter, Alex turned and made his way to the sheriff’s station, then pushed his way inside. Things—natural tendencies—buzzed loudly and with passion in Alex’s head and gut, and he needed help before he did something that might lose him Hunter forever. Alex found Jace doing paperwork at his desk; the man’s hard face became the lifeline Alex clung to in order to restore clear thinking. “I need five minutes,” he said, his voice unnaturally husky. “It can’t wait.” It took but a second for Jace to narrow his stare and then stand. “Yeah, okay.” After moving out from behind his desk, Jace headed toward a narrow hallway. “Come with me.” Jace led Alex to a familiar interrogation room—one the very man had once used to accuse Alex of murder. Right now Alex would trade the heat of that grilling and take it all over again for Hunter’s well-being. “Talk to me,” Jace said as soon as he shut the door. “I can see you’re upset.” “Remind me that staying away from Hunter and giving him this space he requested is the right thing to do.” Prowling around the table in the interrogation room, Alex threw a sideways glance at the big deputy stalled at the two-way mirror. “I just saw him try to come in here, change his mind, and then watched as Sarah chased after him. I was better than halfway to him before I remembered my promise that I would not interfere in his recovery.” Coming to a stop, Alex braced his hands on the table in the center of the room and allowed himself a moment to breathe before laying a hard stare on Jace again. “Tell me I’m incorrectly reading

204

Cameron Dane

the pain in him every time I see him, and that I shouldn’t go to him. Tell me this therapy is helping him get better.” Jace clasped one hand around the back of his neck and used the other to wipe at the deep brackets surrounding his mouth. “He’s struggling in a bad way right now. He’s fighting what he needs to do; I won’t lie to you about that. A few days ago Hunter wanted to give up the therapy and go it on his own, but Dr. Royan and Sarah convinced him to stick with it.” “Shit, Jace.” Alex’s jaw ached with the desire to shout the walls off this place. “I can help Hunter. Since we’ve been apart, I’ve done nothing but read about the stuff going on in his head and his heart right now. I’m better equipped to understand him today. If he would let me in again, I could take care of—” “No.” Jace swooped in and cut Alex off with one chop of his hand. “We don’t want Hunter to go from harming himself as a coping tool to relying completely upon you to get through every day. While that might be better for his physical well-being, it would be no better for his mental health.” Grimacing, Jace added in a softer tone, “He’s still too scared of what he could do to you anyway; he won’t let you back in right now. Respect that.” Alex finally took a seat, but the fighter punching inside him wouldn’t yet accept defeat. He studied Jace again as his mind broke apart the situation at hand. “You must have made an assessment that he’s not dangerous to the people around him or you wouldn’t have let Sarah go after him alone just now.” After dropping into a chair too, Jace scrubbed his face but didn’t take his focus off Alex. “You’re right. I no longer believe he would hurt anyone, especially not Sarah. But it doesn’t matter what I believe. It only matters what Hunter believes. And right now”—Jace’s calm, certain tone and manner crushed Alex once more— “Hunter will not let you near him and risk you. Please don’t go to him and force the issue. You might throw him so far off his axis that you’ll send him even deeper into retreat.” With a growl, Alex mentally shoved the fighter back into his holding pen. Bleak as hell, he looked at Jace as the talons of defeat sank into his being. “This powerlessness is killing me,” he admitted. “I just want to help him.” Memories of Hunter’s helplessness leaked into Alex’s psyche and ate at him more. “I love him so much.” Empathy openly filled every rough line in Jace’s harsh face. “I can see that. And believe me, even if he can’t let himself get near you right now, Hunter knows it too. You’re giving him strength every day, even though I know it’s hard for you to feel like you are. Part of why he’s sticking with this therapy is for you. He wouldn’t have any reason to go forward with it if some part of himself buried deep inside didn’t believe it could get him healthy and back to you.” “I won’t go find him.” Speaking the promise out loud helped Alex solidify it as part of his reality. “Thank you for talking me off the ledge.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

205

“I know this is tough, man.” From across the table, Jace reached out and squeezed Alex’s forearm. “I admire you for digging in with him, even if you have to do it from the backseat.” Exhaling an unsteady breath, Alex softly admitted, “I can’t imagine my life anymore without him in it. It’s so fucking scary to feel this way and know I might never get him back.” “He will come back to you.” The strength in Jace’s tone helped to fill in the cracks of Alex’s uncertainty. “Stay busy, and keep believing.” “I don’t know if can live at my building site any more than I already am,” Alex shared as he stood, “but I guess I’ll go give it a try right now.” “Good man.” As they walked back through the station, Alex took heart in the solid thump of support Jace whacked against his back. Every big and small part of him still wanted to run to Hunter and take the man in his arms, but Alex fought and won out over that need to find Hunter and protect him with the full power of his strength and love. Instead Alex gave Ty a call and made arrangements to meet him for a beer later. Right now he needed every hand extended in friendship he could get.

*** “No!” Hunched over in the visitors’ chair in Cain and Luke’s office in the red barn at Forrest-Hawk, Hunter curled his arms around his head, as if in physically blocking his brain from Dr. Royan’s sight, he could keep the man out of the excessive violence in his thoughts. “It doesn’t matter where we are.” As the terrible images came, the throbbing ripped through Hunter’s arms and fueled the need to crush his fist into something, anything, to make the ugliness retreat. “When it starts pushing inside me, I can’t hold it back.” The weight of the new knife in his pocket rippled through his flesh, calling Hunter home. “Fight through the pictures you’re seeing, Hunter,” Dr. Royan said. “Don’t suppress them for another day. Don’t give them that power over you.” This time Sarah entered into the rage inside Hunter’s mind’s eye. The moment he delivered the deathblow to beautiful Alex, he turned on his sister. No. Please. Shaking his head, unable to witness the vicious pictures in his head a second longer, Hunter said with a scrape of a voice, “I can’t.” Desperate to push back the atrocities in his thoughts, Hunter dug his hand into his pocket to retrieve his knife. “I need them to stop now.” Before Hunter could slice into his arm, through his shirt and all, Dr. Royan grabbed his wrist. “No.” The man’s arm muscles visibly strained as he wrestled the knife successfully away from Hunter. “Don’t bury those thoughts with pain. You need to understand they aren’t real.” As clearly as if Hunter lived inside his vision in real time, he ran at his sister with blood as his only appeasement and savagely attacked her with his fists. She

206

Cameron Dane

covered her face and pleaded with him to stop, but Hunter only switched to beating the rest of her defenseless body. Stop. Make it stop. Please. Looking up at Dr. Royan, Hunter confessed, “I’m hurting her.” His knuckles felt swollen and bruised, and he knew if he looked down he would somehow see Sarah’s blood on his hands. “I can’t live with it.” Hunter surged out of his chair, lunging toward oblivion, but Dr. Royan grabbed Hunter from behind, halting his momentum before he slammed the side of his head into the wall. “Don’t give in.” With the doctor’s size and control, he overpowered Hunter and pulled him to the door. “Come with me.” Dr. Royan let go of Hunter for just long enough to get the door open and then guided him to stand a half-dozen feet in front of Hercules’s stall. “Now keep talking, Hunter. Talk me through your dreams.” Hercules nickered as he lifted his head in Hunter’s direction. He trotted right up to his stall door, and the horse’s inability to comprehend its danger terrified Hunter to his core. “Let me go.” His voice so stripped he almost couldn’t hear himself speak, Hunter battled against Dr. Royan’s hold on his arms. “I can’t be here. I’ll scare him.” The horse’s nostrils flared, showing that his interest in Hunter had already been piqued. “I’ll terrify him and make him regress.” “No, you won’t.” Dr. Royan kept his voice low, but his confidence rang in Hunter’s ears. “You won’t let yourself frighten or harm him, even if you think it means your own sanity. Your bosses would not have agreed to let me talk to you here if they believed you were a danger to their animals. Keep looking at Hercules and find a way to walk through your nightmare without hurting either one of you.” “No.” Hunter struggled against Dr. Royan even as the screams of his sister still rang in his head. He closed his eyes, but blocking out his surroundings only made the images in his mind more vivid. He brutalized Sarah and then turned on Jace as he appeared, but even bloodying the two of them wouldn’t make the nightmare end. Already torn to shreds by Hunter in his dreams, Will and Trey and Alex returned with dead eyes but mouths that repeatedly moved with silent questions about why Hunter had killed them. They got closer and closer and closer, filling Hunter’s vision, until Hunter could not turn away and look upon anything other than the results of his destruction. No! Stop! Hunter somehow kept the screams inside, but the panic still thundered through his being. The deafening roar of blood speeding through his body and in his ears reminded him of hearing bombs explode during his time overseas. Hunter opened his eyes, unable to bear the pictures living inside him. Desperate for a way to quiet the chaos burning through his body, Hunter searched for a weapon or freedom but found neither within the limits of Dr. Royan’s restraints. The bloodcurdling cries from the emotion railing inside Hunter demanded payment, and Hunter’s lack of ability to give it to them knocked his legs out from under him. Dr. Royan took the brunt of Hunter’s weight, though, and kept him on his feet. Hunter’s heart raced so fast he could feel it in his throat, and his mouth filled with the beginnings of a scream that would tear down the walls of this barn. In his efforts to keep the destruction that would surely kill him buried, Hunter

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

207

shook violently as tremor after tremor rocked through him, hurting him so deeply in his bones he knew without a doubt he would lose this battle and die, right here in this place he so loved. Just as Hunter saw the sweet bliss of death in the form of leaping into Hercules’s stall to incite the wrath of an animal that could crush him—anything to stop the havoc tearing through his mind and body—Dr. Royan shook Hunter and forced his head up high. “Look at him, Hunter.” He contracted his muscles and put an even more powerful grip on Hunter’s frame. “Don’t give up. He needs you to stay with him and fight. Don’t make him get better without you.” Hunter looked to Hercules with a silent plea for forgiveness trapped in his throat, and instead the brightness in the animal’s black eyes locked him in its hold and rammed him in the gut. Right at his stall door, Hercules seemed to ask Hunter not to leave him. Hunter couldn’t look away, and he silently apologized to the horse for even thinking of putting his death on the animal’s conscience. The longer Hunter stared and the more he tried to slip into the horse’s physiology to bring their breathing into sync, the softer and softer the screams in Hunter’s head became. Hercules’s skittish prancing came to a halt too. Eventually—God only knew how long Hunter stood there—Dr. Royan let Hunter go. “You did it,” he said, pride in his voice. “You lived through a vision that triggered every destructive place inside you, and you survived without succumbing.” For a brief moment, a wash of victory started to push through Hunter’s body, replenishing his exhausted muscles. Then the incessant voice of reality shoved its way in, and Hunter rounded on Dr. Royan. “Great. So I managed to suppress the need to cut myself one time by connecting with Hercules and thinking of his helplessness above myself. How does that help me? I can’t put him on a leash and take him everywhere with me so that I always have him close by when I’m on the verge of self-destructing.” Pressing his palms against one another as if in prayer, Dr. Royan shook his head. “You’re missing the point, Hunter. It’s not that you were able to use Hercules as a way to focus your destructive thoughts. It’s that you got through one of those terrible nightmares without hurting yourself or someone else, and it didn’t break you. It didn’t kill you. Up till this point, you didn’t allow any room for the possibility that you could live through emotions such as you just let come to the surface. Today you proved that belief wrong. You did live through it.” “Because of him,” Hunter said, unable to get that crutch of Hercules’s presence—a temporary replacement for the cutting—out of his head. “No,” the doctor insisted. “Because of you. Because that is reality, and now you know it firsthand. Because when you have another nightmare tonight—and you will have one, probably the worst one you’ll experience yet—you’ll know, even if you give in and cut yourself, somewhere in your head you will know that you did succeed once in getting through one of these episodes without bringing yourself or someone else harm. That seed has been planted now, and when you succeed again, because you will, it will plant another seed, and then another, until you accept that you can

208

Cameron Dane

get through any emotional moment in your life without turning to self-harming. Together we will keep bringing nightmares like this to the surface until you believe that even if Alex or Sarah angers you, or even if they just love you so much that it hurts to feel it, that you won’t hurt them. Or anyone else, for that matter.” Hunter’s gaze slid to Hercules, but he couldn’t get the memory out of his head that he hadn’t been able to control the violence with Alex. “But what if I can only feel this way with Hercules because he doesn’t have the ability to understand what I’m going through? I can’t warn him away or to not push my buttons, and then have him ignore me and set me off. That’s what will break me again, like I did with Alex.” Dr. Royan’s mouth lifted just at the edge, in something of a knowing, indulgent smile. “That’s the military person in you who wants a set mission he can clearly map to a successful end. You want a clear, concise answer, but healing is not going to come to you in that way. You’re going to take some steps forward, but there are also going to be setbacks. In time we’ll have sessions in other places, and I will put other stressors on you. You will hate it and fight it—and certainly you’ll want to strangle me—but a point will come where you genuinely believe that no matter who you are with or what environment you are in, you will be fine. The goal is to have a lot more progress in the right direction than the wrong until you reach a point where you believe in your gut that you are mentally stable and can reintegrate into your life. You have a solid foundation and the strong will of someone who doesn’t quit. You can do this. I know you can.” With a nod, Dr. Royan extended his hand. “Will you trust me and let me help you get there?” Every bad, destructive place inside Hunter scratched and poked at him, working hard to permanently etch all the terrible things he’d done to himself and Alex into his brain. The rage quickly swelled and roared in Hunter’s ears in an effort to defeat him, but for the first time since Will’s death, a true, real whisper of genuine hope found its way inside Hunter too and somehow managed to be heard among the chaos. Clinging to that whisper, needing it as a lifeline to a way back to Alex and Sarah, Hunter clasped his hand in Dr. Royan’s and let himself start to believe.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

209

Chapter Eighteen October Nervous excitement hummed through Hunter as he watched Alex pull his car to a stop at Forrest-Hawk. Parts of Hunter’s mind still wanted to slam him back to that terrible morning and force him to see Alex with bruises on his face. However, once Hunter had truly accepted Dr. Royan could help him, he’d learned to walk through the anxiety without hurting himself and to accept that with the right tools in place, he could survive highly emotional situations without hurting himself or anyone else. A brisk chill harkening snow made the air crisp, but the sun shone brightly on this late October day, beaming warmth on Hunter’s face. The light twinkled against Alex’s windshield, blocking him from view and amping up Hunter’s anticipation. This would be the first real contact between him and Alex since parting ways months ago. Hunter couldn’t deny his heart skipped some serious extra beats today. Alex emerged from the car and once again captured Hunter’s breath. His blond hair was cut the perfect, professional length and neatly combed into place. The dark suit, stark white shirt, and fashionably designed tie he wore under an unbuttoned gray wool coat were impeccable, and all spoke of the shark comfortable and at ease swimming in the cutthroat real estate world. So attractive, and now the model for what Hunter considered sexy and arousing in a man. Yet what brought a secret smile to Hunter’s lips, what made his stomach flutter more than anything, was the hem of Alex’s expensive pants tucked into work boots—a man ready to walk anywhere on the property Hunter chose to take him. Sunlight haloed Alex as he approached. When he reached Hunter, warmth saturated the green in his eyes. “Hi.” He sounded a little breathless. “Hi.” Hunter’s voice possessed an equally breathy tone. Alex pushed back his coat and jacket and tucked his hands into his pockets, drawing Hunter’s focus to the way his tailored shirt hugged his flat stomach. “I came as soon as I got your message,” Alex said. “You wanted to see me?” “Huh?” Hunter shook his head and snapped himself out of his fantasy of licking Alex’s firm belly. “Yeah. Yes. Sorry.” Sobering quickly, Hunter gathered his courage and met Alex’s gaze. “When Forrest-Hawk first hired me, one of the things that excited me the most that day was the thought of sharing the news with you.” Alex’s shoulders immediately pushed back. “Really?”

210

Cameron Dane

“Yeah.” Hunter fidgeted with his glove. “But then things changed and got intense between us very fast, and then everything went to shit, and I never got the chance to invite you here to show you what I do.” His pulse skittered wildly, but Hunter didn’t look away. “I’d like to do that now.” For a full minute, Alex opened and closed his mouth, as if he couldn’t remember what he was supposed to do to form words. “Wow,” he finally said. “You’ve left me speechless. That doesn’t happen very often.” Pressing his fingers into his cheeks, Alex smiled sheepishly. “I can feel myself blushing.” Hunter pushed his hands into his pockets and rocked on the heels of his boots as a fifty-pound weight flew off his back. “I like when you blush.” “And now I’m doing it worse.” Between the fire-engine red flaming his cheeks, Alex grinned and chuckled. “Who knew when I woke up this morning I’d regress back to fifteen years old.” “Do you want to blush and walk at the same time?” Hunter jerked his shoulder toward the rest of the property. “I’d like to show you around.” “I’d love that,” Alex murmured. “Thank you.” “Good.” Hunter waited for Alex to fall into step beside him, and then said, “Let’s start with the equipment and corrals.”

*** Nearing the end of their tour, Alex shook hands with Cain Hawkins first and then Luke Forrester. “It was good to see you,” he said. “And again, you have a fantastic operation here. A dear friend of mine”—pangs of losing Mack still hit Alex all the time—“would have loved what you do here. I wish he could have seen it.” “Thank you.” Cain took off his Stetson and scratched through his chestnut hair. “We’re very happy with what we’ve built.” Luke added, “And we could not have been more thrilled when Hunter excelled during our recruiting process. We can’t imagine the place without him.” Hunter only dipped his head in acknowledgement of his boss’s praise, but from this tour Alex already understood the man’s absolute respect for Cain and Luke and the property for which he worked. After exchanging good-byes with the bosses, Hunter pushed open the sliding door to a red barn. “I have just one more thing to show you,” he said, his voice dropping much softer as they entered the structure. “My pride and joy”—Hunter came to a stop at the farthest stall—“Hercules.” “Oh my.” Alex took in the golden-hued horse standing in the middle of the stall, awed by his magnificent size and stature. “He’s beautiful.” “He has a story attached to him.” Hunter proceeded to explain the animal’s mysterious, aggressive behavior change, as well as his just as unexplained slow climb out of his self-imposed isolation. “He’s well enough to be transferred to the intermediate stable, but he fights it, so we stopped trying. This is his permanent home now.” Hunter leaned his shoulder against the stall door. The horse

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

211

immediately trotted to him, nudged his head over the door, where Hunter quickly acknowledged him with a good thump on his massive shoulder. “The bosses told me they had a discussion one night, and they decided Hercules was trying to tell them he wanted to be my horse.” This time Hunter’s cheeks slashed with crimson. “So they offered him to me, no strings or bills attached, just because they believe the animal wants it that way.” Comfort existed between these two magnificent beasts, Alex could see it in the way they nudged each other like two childhood friends. “Maybe Hercules was trying to tell them that,” Alex said, his attention riveted on Hunter. “They’ve certainly worked with horses for long enough to read them.” “I don’t know, but he seems happy. He gives me more than I could ever give him in return.” As Hunter stood there playing with Hercules, almost as if he were a puppy, his entire being gleamed with light from within. Watching them filled Alex’s soul with the sweetest, best pain. Alex moved closer, pulled into their magnetic force. “May I?” He started to lift his hand but then curled it back at his side. Glancing from Hunter to the horse, Alex took a cautious breath. “Would he let me?” The easiest, most beautiful grin took Hunter over. “I think so. He likes a good rub.” Hunter took Alex’s hand in his. The simple contact brought all of Alex’s nerve endings to life, stirring needs and love that hadn’t dwindled one bit in the time they’d spent apart. Hunter guided Alex to where to place his palm, and then took his hand away. “Just run your hand up from the top of his nose there to that tuft of hair on the top of his head,” Hunter instructed. “Go ahead.” Giving Hercules his undivided attention, Alex rubbed his palm up and down the line of the horse’s face, marveling at the coarse yet somehow soft texture of the hair tickling his skin. “Wow.” The animal’s life force fairly vibrated under his palm. Alex chuckled softly and turned to Hunter. “I feel like I’m saying that a lot today.” Hunter’s dark brows pulled and created furrow lines on his forehead. “Have you never been around horses? Do you not know how to ride?” Before he allowed himself to become too distracted, Alex let himself pet the horse one more time and then put his hand safely back at his side. “I’ve never ridden,” he admitted. His dark eyes connecting and holding on Alex, Hunter said, “I could teach you sometime. If you’d like.” God in heaven. Alex fucking had to fight not to well up right there in front of Hunter. “I would be honored to learn from you.” His voice only sounded a little gruff. “We’ll set something up.” After responding, Hunter unsuccessfully tried to discreetly look at his watch. Alex accepted the slump in his shoulders without fighting. “But now you have to get back to work because this was your lunch break. Right?”

212

Cameron Dane

With a nod, Hunter guided Alex back into the bright, cold daylight. “Cain and Luke would give me more time,” he explained as he walked with Alex to his car, “but I don’t like to take advantage.” “Believe me, as a boss, I respect your stand.” Alex opened his door but couldn’t quite make himself climb inside the car yet. His fingers itched to touch Hunter, but he couldn’t grasp or settle on the right next move. So with the open car door between them, Alex stayed in place. “Thank you for calling me.” He looked at Hunter and just absorbed every wonderful imperfection that made him stunning in Alex’s eyes. “I loved the tour.” A little half smile hitched up Hunter’s hard mouth. “I’m glad.” “Okay, well…” Crap. What the hell do I do? Alex had held back in the wings for so long he didn’t know if he was allowed to freely touch Hunter yet or speak of the love still burning so hot inside him. Shit. I don’t know. “I guess we’ll talk again soon?” Alex asked, settling on something vague. Hunter nodded. “We will. Bye.” He touched his finger to his hat—just as he used to do when passing Alex running in the mornings—and then did an about-face and strode away. Alex watched Hunter openly as he walked back to the red barn. He shamelessly ate up Hunter’s wide shoulders, taut back, tight ass, and long legs, all wrapped up in well-worn work clothes. Proximity to Hunter had reignited the constantly low stoked fires living inside Alex for the man. As much as Alex knew it was premature—first Hunter’s call, and then this visit—this short communication solidified a decision he’d let percolate inside him for months. It’s beyond time to do it. Once Alex reached his job site and took care of a handful of issues waiting for him, he picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. “Rand here.” That deep, no-nonsense tone of Alex’s right hand registered, even through the phone. “What can I do for you, sir?” Alex couldn’t help wondering if Rand slept in a three-piece suit with a cell phone attached to his ear. “I can never catch you off guard,” Alex said. “You don’t pay me to be unprepared, sir,” Rand replied without missing a beat. “True enough.” Every rigid sentence Rand spoke made Alex feel lighter and better about his choice. He leaned back in his chair, and in the cramped space somehow managed to kick his feet onto the desk. “Let’s talk about what I do pay you. How would you feel about a promotion?” “The only job above mine, sir,” Rand stated, “is yours.” “Not exactly.” Yeah. This is going to work out just fine. “But let’s talk.”

*** The doorbell rang, and Hunter put down the book he’d spent the last hour trying to focus himself enough to read. He’d alternated between grinning like an

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

213

idiot all afternoon at work and kicking himself for acting like a twelve-year-old with a crush who didn’t know how to approach the boy he wanted. He felt so much better about his chances for a full recovery now, and everything had gone better than Hunter could have wanted out at Forrest-Hawk, but at the same time he hadn’t spoken even close to half of what he’d wanted to say to Alex. Starting with I miss you. Jerking off twice during his shower had done nothing to calm the need inside him for the man, so right now Hunter would gladly welcome one of his neighbors rambling on to him about gathering a group together to get a completely different neighbor kicked out of the building for banging on her drums too loud. Hunter wouldn’t aid in getting the young woman booted, but he would listen to the asinine rambling just to have a distraction. Hunter whipped open the door, and every blessed thought he’d just had flew from his head. Alex stood on the other side of the threshold, the tie and work boots now gone. The man appeared a little bit disheveled—and sexy as hell. Everything Hunter wanted to see tonight. Exhaling visibly, Alex clutched the door frame so tightly his knuckles turned white. “I don’t know if I’m making the right move here, or if you have been given some kind of rule to stay out of relationships while you heal. I know I told you I’d stay away and give you your space.” His eyes beautifully bright, Alex barely paused to suck in more air. “But you called me today. I want that to mean something—like maybe you opened a door and so now it’s okay for me to walk through it—but maybe I’m just telling myself it meant something so I can justify seeing you again, even though I don’t know if I should be here.” “You should.” So fucking aroused just to see Alex, Hunter growled and yanked the man into his apartment. As he kicked the door closed, he pulled Alex to him and scraped a fast kiss across his lips. Hunter pecked kisses all over Alex’s face as he dragged the man’s coat off and started pulling at his shirt. “It meant something. It was a way to open contact with you again.” Touching Alex all over, Hunter didn’t know how to corral his pent-up desire. He wanted everything with Alex, and he wanted it all right now. Hunter forced himself to breathe and focus on Alex’s captivating gaze. “I was at work, and I was nervous, and I wanted you to like where I work and be proud of what I do, and so I fucked up saying all the things I wanted to say.” Alex put two fingers to Hunter’s lips. “No, you didn’t mess up anything. I was proud of you. I am. So much.” He drifted his hand up to brush stray hairs from Hunter’s forehead, and he looked at Hunter as if he were a precious gem. “God, how I’ve missed you.” Hunter turned his head and pressed a kiss to the side of Alex’s hand. “I missed you too. I thought about you all the time and hoped you were doing okay.” He slid his hand up Alex’s stomach to cover his heart, knowing without asking that Alex still grieved for Mack every day. “That’s only part of what I wanted to say earlier.”

214

Cameron Dane

A hint of shadow crossed Alex’s grass gaze. “I’m doing all right. Better since you called me today. There’s so much I came here to tell you, but damn it.” He grimaced, even as his cheeks turned pink. “Right now I’m so fucking hard”—a distinct bulge in his pants backed up his words—“and I just want to be naked with you again.” His cock stiffening in response, Hunter couldn’t hold back a groan. “Me too.” He grabbed a fistful of Alex’s shirt and dragged the man in for a ferocious kiss. Both men met with parted lips, and Hunter quickly dived in, hungry to reacquaint himself with Alex’s unique taste. Alex moaned and let Hunter in but wasted no time darting his tongue past Hunter’s lips for quick licks too. The renewed contact, the deeper kiss fueled Hunter’s blood and sent a resurgence of testosterone into his system. He swirled and rubbed his tongue around Alex’s, happily robbing them both of breath. At the same time, he shuffled backward while keeping hold of Alex, guiding them to his bedroom. Eventually Hunter hit the foot of the bed with the backs of his legs. Without breaking contact between them—Christ, it excited Hunter to kiss this man—Hunter tumbled back onto the mattress while pulling Alex down on top of him. Alex planted his hands in the bedding, and he suddenly laughed into Hunter’s mouth. “Shit.” He reared up to straddle Hunter and looked down on him with a wicked grin that twinkled into his eyes. “Are we actually, really, finally going to do it on a bed?” Chuckling too, Hunter pushed up to his elbows. “Unless you want me to push you onto the floor.” Studying Alex’s perfection openly, Hunter ran his good hand under the man’s untucked shirt and pressed gently against his warm, firm abdomen. “Or we could go back out into the living room. The couch is pretty nice. Or the bathroom. The shower is small but probably workable.” “Damn, baby.” Covering Hunter’s hand with his, Alex pushed Hunter’s palm up higher to his chest and across his nipples. “Planning out the whole night already.” Hunter rubbed his thumb over the pebbled tip of Alex’s nipple, and Alex sucked in his bottom lip. His eyes already full of lust, Alex rocked himself on top of Hunter, working their groins into each other. “I like your style.” Hunter shot up and fused his mouth to Alex’s, stealing another hard, hot kiss. Alex moaned and tangled tongues back with Hunter just as aggressively. In unison they both went for the other’s clothing; Alex tore off Hunter’s sweatshirt, and Hunter opened Alex’s dress shirt with equal fervor. Hunter wrapped his arm around Alex’s back and lifted them both to their knees, where Alex then shoved at Hunter’s sweats, and Hunter worked Alex’s belt, button, and zipper open in record time. Pants and sweats were pushed to knees, where each man awkwardly worked the clothing off their bodies without breaking their kiss and somehow managed to kick off shoes and socks too. Kneeling nude on the bed, Hunter trembled as Alex picked up his mangled hand. Alex openly looked upon Hunter’s damaged body, and his breath visibly

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

215

caught. “I still think you’re beautiful.” As Alex spoke, he gently grazed his lips against the scar tissue marring Hunter’s imperfect hand. Hunter didn’t find it such an internal battle tonight to keep his head up high. “I still can’t see what you do when you look at me, but it doesn’t send me into a tailspin anymore to let you see me and to know you believe it.” Alex gave Hunter one of his wicked grins. “Good, because I’m going to want to look a lot”—he scooted in until their fronts rode one another—“and get a whole lot closer.” Alex captured Hunter’s mouth, slid his hands around Hunter’s waist and then down to cup his ass. Alex held them to each other and kissed Hunter with the slowest, easiest, exploring kiss. Lick and nip by lick and nip, he drove Hunter insane. Every fine hair on Hunter’s body stood up and acted like a lightning rod, magnifying every little jolt of pleasure Alex gave him and increasing it a hundredfold. Soon Hunter couldn’t bear it and started rubbing himself into Alex’s heat and hardness, and he threw himself into the kiss like a man possessed. He could not get enough of Alex’s taste, and he wanted to relearn the man everywhere. Hunter broke away and began raining kisses down Alex’s neck to his shoulder and across his chest. Impatient, he shoved his hand between their bodies and wrapped his fingers around Alex’s granite-stiff, scorching dick. Meeting Alex’s gaze once again, he licked across the man’s lips and pulled hard on his long shaft. “I want your cock.” He took Alex’s mouth again and sucked on his tongue, all the while imagining it was the cum-slick head of Alex’s prick. With a gasp, Alex pumped his dick into Hunter’s handjob. He nipped at Hunter’s lips, and desire made his eyes look like a forest. “I’ve had a hundred wet dreams about eating yours too.” Without a word, their nostrils flared. Hunter fell onto his back. His head hit the pillow just as Alex swung around and scrambled on top of Hunter. Alex spread his thighs on either side of Hunter’s head and slowly fed his cock past Hunter’s parted lips. Inch by inch, burning heat consumed Hunter’s mouth. Fuck yes. He eagerly tongued the shaft taking over his mouth, and moaned around the hot thickness. Alex grunted and dropped a bead of jizz on Hunter’s tongue. He recovered quickly, though, and lowered his face into Hunter’s fur to lick all around, sending pulling lines of joy between Hunter’s belly and his balls. Alex drew Hunter’s legs up, spread them apart, and then rubbed two fingers over Hunter’s taint as he sucked Hunter’s cock all the way into his mouth. Having Alex’s dick buried in Hunter’s mouth stifled his cry, but Hunter bucked his lower half off the bed in response and forced his tip down Alex’s throat. Alex took Hunter without gagging and even bobbed his head up and down Hunter’s shaft faster, pushing Hunter past his throat repeatedly. Every millimeter of Hunter’s cock screamed its thank-you for Alex’s skill, but the taste buds and the nerve endings in Hunter’s mouth hungered for equal treatment. Alex did such amazing things to Hunter’s cock that fair play required

216

Cameron Dane

every bit of his concentration. Hunter wanted the man’s cock living in his mouth all the time, but by the same token, he loved it when a guy fucked his face. He desperately wanted the hot slide of Alex’s dick pushing in and out of his mouth. Hunter dug his fingers into Alex’s buttocks, began guiding the rock of his hips, and positioned his parted lips to accept the brunt of each and every downward thrust. It didn’t take long for Alex to pick up the rhythm and for Hunter to moan his pleasure each time Alex filled his mouth with cock. Hunter’s blood raced so fast and hot it made him dizzy, but he didn’t dare take a breather or slow down. He wanted Alex’s prick too much, and Jesus, the things Alex did to him in return flamed through his system with such heat Hunter thought his head would blow clean off. Alex sucked his dick like a disciplined student auditioning for his black belt in the sport, and then threw in fondling Hunter’s sac and teasing his asshole for extra credit. Hunter did his damnedest to concentrate, but holy hell, Alex sucked his shaft with drags from root to tip, repeatedly pressed his finger against Hunter’s pucker, and Hunter had no choice but to come up for air. Straining to see what Alex did to him, Hunter growled at their position. He wrapped his arms around Alex’s thighs, pressed his cheek into the man’s hip, and with every lick on his dick and poke against his bud, Hunter struggled to breathe. “Please.” His ring contracted, and his passage fluttered repeatedly, increasing his arousal tenfold. “Don’t go slow. Put your fingers in my ass.” Alex immediately let Hunter’s cock slide from his mouth. Warm, grazing kisses brushed the inside of Hunter’s thighs, creating wonderful tingles through the whole area. Alex then pushed Hunter’s legs higher and wider apart, not stopping until cool air touched all along Hunter’s crack. A shiver rolled through Hunter, and anticipation had him crushing his fingers into Alex’s thighs. With a whispered, “Get ready, baby,” from Alex—just that flash of warning— Alex plunged two long, elegant fingers into Hunter’s ass. The fast, deep invasion ripped a hoarse shout out of Hunter, along with a rough plea for more. Alex pumped his fingers within Hunter’s chute a half-dozen times, sending every nerve ending along Hunter’s anal walls into a scrambling frenzy. Before Hunter could adjust and settle into Alex’s fingering, the man withdrew his digits, shoved his face into Hunter’s crease, and began flicking his tongue with whip-fast speed over Hunter’s asshole. Each swipe of Alex’s tongue soothed the sting in Hunter’s stretched entrance, while making his channel squeeze for equal attention. As if Alex intuitively knew Hunter’s body’s needs, he slipped a digit back into Hunter’s tunnel with a twisting motion, while at the same time keeping up his decadent, intimate kiss. His lips parted, gasping for cleansing air, Hunter held on to Alex’s haunches and started pushing his ass into the rimming and finger fucking like a begging whore, but he didn’t care. Hunter had denied himself sex and intimacy for such a long time, and even though much of what he’d originally created with Alex had been destructive, the contact had only whetted his desire for a deeper, rawer connection.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

217

Alex eased a second digit back into Hunter’s ass, pushing deliciously at his walls, and Hunter moaned and clamped down on the penetration. Alex worked his fingers back and forth, slowly through the extra tightness Hunter’s anal muscles created, making Hunter’s thighs clench with every glide over his sweet spot. When Alex kept those two fingers buried and then teased his tongue all around Hunter’s rim, Hunter bit Alex’s hip to hold back his scream. Within seconds Alex withdrew his fingers from Hunter’s body, untangled himself from Hunter’s hold, and knelt at his side. With eyes shining like emeralds, a mouth swollen, lush, and red from his activities, and a cock crimson, engorged, and rearing toward his stomach, Alex looked every inch a debauched beauty. “Your response is killing me.” His gaze locked on Hunter’s, Alex stroked his cock from root to tip, wincing when a creamy pearl of precum pushed through his slit. “I want you, Hunt.” Alex ran his palm over Hunter’s stomach and across his chest, touching a tarnished body as if he couldn’t see or feel the scars. “Tell me it’s okay to have you.” Jesus. His belly clenching with every good and sweet emotion, Hunter rolled over without hesitation and reached across the bed. “I have lube,” he said as he yanked at his nightstand drawer. Alex laid his open hand on the center of Hunter’s spine but did not apply force. His voice suddenly scratchy, he said, “I want you on your stomach.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the small of Hunter’s back and induced a shiver. “Is it okay to cover you from behind?” Hunter’s heart rate spiked, and his stomach automatically did a loop-the-loop, but he looked over his shoulder and handed the lubricant to Alex anyway. “I trust you.” His chest banded as the truth of his statement registered inside him. “You can have me however you want.” Alex sucked in an audible breath. “Sweet mother, baby.” He squeezed a dollop of lube onto his fingers. “You might not get six strokes before I come.” Just as Alex moved his hand toward Hunter’s ass, Hunter grabbed his wrist. “I still have some condoms.” He hesitated a moment but then added, “If you want them.” “I don’t,” Alex admitted, his focus trained on Hunter. He reversed Hunter’s hold on him and grazed his lips against the inside of Hunter’s wrist. “But if you need me to, I’ll wear one and still want this and love it just as much.” Shaking his head, Hunter settled into the bedding and parted his legs. “I just want to feel you.” Nervousness at this position pushed extra adrenaline into Hunter’s blood and sent a rippling tingle all the way through him. At the same time, as Hunter watched Alex slick his erection up with lube, his prick pushed with excitement into the bedding, telling him he wanted this vulnerability and that everything would be all right. One last time, he found Alex’s gaze in the shadows. “I only want to feel your skin against mine.” Alex covered Hunter right then and planted a gentle kiss to his cheek. “It’s going to be okay. Between us tonight”—he pushed a hand between them and nudged with his cock until his tip kissed Hunter’s hole—“we’re going to do more

218

Cameron Dane

than fuck.” He ran his palms up Hunter’s arms, tangled their fingers on his good hand, and created one big entwined fist with the other. “I’ve never done it before”— Alex’s mouth came to rest on Hunter’s temple—“but I think I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet you so I can know what it feels like to make love.” Hunter started to say me too, but Alex pushed his cock into Hunter’s ass right as Hunter said, “Me,” and the “too” became one long groan as he struggled to stretch and accept Alex into his body. Seated halfway inside Hunter’s passage, Alex stilled. “Tell me when you’re ready.” Alex squeezed Hunter’s hands and kissed his temple. “I won’t move until you can relax and take me.” “Just give me—” Hunter hissed. It felt like his rectum had sucked closed with a vacuum vise around Alex’s cock. “Give me a second. It’s not bad.” In fact, Hunter’s toes curled into the bedding. The sense of a too-big invasion in his channel made his balls swell and his cock throb against his belly. He took one of his hands back for a second to work a pillow under his hips. The moment his ass tilted up just that little bit, as if opening for business, Alex slid the rest of the way home. Hunter choked as his chute rippled all around Alex’s cock. “Oh Jesus God, yeah. Move… You can move.” In response, Alex pulled all the way out and then forced his way back in with delicious slowness, and Hunter’s eyes almost rolled back in his head. He moaned with the penetration and sank into the bedding like butter. “That’s so good.” With a grunt, Alex rocked his length within Hunter again. “Imagine it on my end.” He flexed his hips and pushed his way through Hunter’s squeezing tunnel again. “Good God, baby.” Alex clenched his fingers with bruising force around Hunter’s hands. “You have the tightest fucking ass.” As natural as a sunrise, Hunter smiled into the pillow. “And you have the longest damn cock.” Seriously, he swore if the man pushed in any deeper, his cockhead would end up in Hunter’s belly. And Hunter loved it. His ass loved it. “And if you don’t use it right now to make me too sore to sit astride Hercules tomorrow, I’m going to scream.” Alex nipped Hunter’s ear. “You say the sweetest things.” With another little bite, Alex began to move. He rocked his length into Hunter with a steady rhythm, clearly, deliberately gliding his penis over every nerve ending in Hunter’s passage, back and forth, the motion constantly acting as tinder to a match inside Hunter, sparking millions of tiny fires in Hunter’s ass. Alex did not rear up or release Hunter’s hand. Instead he kept his chest plastered against Hunter’s back and used only the lower half of his body to move inside Hunter and keep his ass primed and hungry for a faster, harder mating. The weight and pressure Alex employed to gently hold Hunter down normally would have incited panic, but Hunter reminded himself this was Alex, and Alex was what made it okay. Beyond that, Alex’s warmth and scent constantly seeped into Hunter’s very being, tackling his other senses. Something on an organic level inside Hunter recognized Alex as his mate, thus making this restrictive position safe.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

219

At that exact moment, Alex imprinted a smile into Hunter’s neck. “There you go,” he whispered against Hunter’s skin. “Now you’re really ready for me to fuck you raw.” Alex let go of Hunter’s hands. As he twisted his fingers into the sheets, he ordered Hunter, “Come up on your hands with me.” The second Hunter straight-armed the mattress, Alex let go and ran his hand down the arched slope of Hunter’s bare back to his buttocks. He murmured roughly, “Holy fuck, Hunt. You are the sexiest damn thing I’ve ever seen,” and rammed his cock all the way into Hunter’s ass. At the first full, deep, hard penetration, Hunter threw his head back and roared. Alex gave him no time to gather his scattered wits. He drove his fucking long dick straight into Hunter to the root again and again and again and plowed the hell out of Hunter’s ass. Hunter shook his head and gritted his teeth, barely holding on, yet instinctually angled his ass up even higher in an open invitation for Alex to go at him full force. Hunter had no mirrors in his bedroom, but Jesus, he would have to get a big one soon. He’d give just about anything right now to look up and watch Alex taking him from behind. Alex fucked him with such drive the momentum shoved Hunter forward with each thrust, and soon Hunter had to jam his hand into the headboard to stabilize them or risk ramming his face into the wood. And all the while Alex handled Hunter vigorously, he whispered the dirtiest yet somehow most loving things in Hunter’s ear about Hunter’s hot ass and Alex’s owning it and cherishing it, and about Hunter himself, and Alex never letting him go. Hunter’s chute burned with the pounding, but he welcomed the soreness he knew would come tomorrow. He turned his head and within the deep shadows somehow found Alex’s luminous gaze. “You feel so good.” His mouth gaped as Alex plugged his ass to the hilt again. “Christ…Christ…” Buried so fucking deep, Alex ground himself into Hunter with insane, crazy-good pressure. Hunter gasped and uttered, “I missed you so much. I wanted you every day we were apart.” Alex jerked and stuttered to a stop. “Ohhh fuck, Hunt… Hunt…” A wildness, something near to fear, briefly washed over Alex’s stare. “Too fast.” He grabbed hold of Hunter’s shoulders and began thrusting his cock into Hunter’s rectum with erratic speed. “I’m gonna come too fast.” Hunter bared his teeth, and his chute immediately clamped down on Alex’s plunging shaft. “Do it.” His blood raced and rushed a heightened buzz through to every corner in his being. “Fucking do it.” In anticipation, Hunter’s cock thickened with sweet, welcoming pain. “I need to feel you come inside me again.” From over his shoulder, he locked in on Alex’s bright, pure gaze, and the unblinking intensity in Alex’s eyes ripped a confession out of Hunter. “I love you.” Everything inside Hunter hurt in the best way. “I never want it like this with anyone but you.” Amid a full shudder rocking through Alex’s body, he swooped down on Hunter and latched their mouths together in a bruising, hard kiss. Just before he claimed Hunter’s mouth, Alex raggedly said, “I love you too.” With their breath and bodies one, Alex swelled within Hunter. Jesus, yes. A heartbeat later the first jet of Alex’s

220

Cameron Dane

seed tagged Hunter’s ass. Hot spurts of cum seared Hunter’s passage, marking him, killing him with incredible, deep-seated joy. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Hunter’s balls pulled with unimaginable tightness to his body, but he willed himself to ride the wave of Alex’s release without coming. Alex deepened the kiss between them, almost as if searching for another way inside Hunter, even as he continued to saturate Hunter’s ass channel with endless amounts of hot ejaculate. Eventually Alex had nothing left to give. One final shiver rolled through him. With one more scrape of their lips, he drew back just a hair. “I’m sorry.” As he withdrew from Hunter’s body, he brushed another kiss to Hunter’s cheek. “I couldn’t hold it back.” He climbed off Hunter but ran a hand down his spine, dipped into his crease, and then kept going to fondle Hunter’s heavy sac. “Roll over and I’ll take care of you.” Hunter hissed. He took a second to press into Alex’s teasing contact, but his cock—his entire being—screamed for a different kind of release. While tangling his hand into the bedding, searching for the tube he wanted, Hunter shifted to his back. He looked up at Alex and hid nothing in his stare. “Ride me.” His throat thickened with his request. “I want you to feel me come in you too.” “Shit, baby.” Alex jolted, and his pupils flared. “I think you just made me a little bit hard again.” He grabbed the lubricant out of Hunter’s hand and scrambled to straddle his stomach. On his knees, Alex squeezed a dollop of the clear substance onto his fingers. As he reached back and worked the stuff into his rectum, he winced, but the heated flush in his skin and the light in his eyes didn’t diminish one bit. “I’m still getting used to how much I want to open my ass for you.” Hunter’s chest tightened with the memory of his old sexual identity. “I think there will always be a part of my personality now that craves being there,” he confessed. “I don’t think I can go back to that man I was who always wanted to bottom.” Alex rubbed his palm over Hunter’s heart. “You don’t have to.” He then shuffled back and lined up his hole right at the tip of Hunter’s iron-hard dick. “Not with me.” With that, Alex held his hand against Hunter’s shaft, keeping it in alignment with his pucker. Alex pushed down, down, down. Hunter watched Alex grit his teeth every time his hole didn’t open to accept Hunter’s cock. Alex kept rocking, though, and didn’t stop until he slowly worked every inch of Hunter’s thick cock into his ass. Both men gasped and jerked, and they instantly locked stares. Hunter had never been bare inside a person before, and he fought the nearly unbearable need to pound Alex’s passage with rough, jarring upward thrusts. The millions of nerve endings in his penis shrieked for fast, hard, drilling friction, but Hunter willed himself to allow Alex the time to adjust to Hunter’s penetration and begin to move when he could handle it. It didn’t take long for that initial tension to release in Alex. After a moment, he gave Hunter one of his special wicked grins, braced himself on Hunter’s chest, and lifted himself almost all the way off Hunter’s dick, leaving just the fat head tucked inside, to then reverse and sit all the way down on Hunter’s cock again.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

221

Smothering heat surrounded Hunter’s shaft, and the intense pleasure of it snaked tentacles of wonderful humming into his belly and even tugged on his heart. With a moan, Alex found a rocking rhythm that surely had Hunter’s cockhead rubbing over his sweet spot with every roll of his hips. Alex’s gaze changed to something downright dreamy, and he clutched at Hunter’s chest with a punishing grip that only made Hunter harder. Just when Hunter didn’t believe he would be able to stuff down his shout of need a second longer, Alex grinned wickedly again and picked up the pace, giving Hunter the faster ride he craved. A rough chuckle mixed itself with Hunter’s groan. “You teasing bastard.” He couldn’t believe the humor mixed with the lust in Alex’s eyes, nor the lightness in his own heart. Baring his teeth, trying to play fierce back, Hunter knifed up with his hips and slammed his cock deep into Alex’s quivering chute. “If you’re not careful, I’ll blister your ass with a belt again.” Alex came down on Hunter with driving force right then and made them both cry out with acute pleasure. As Alex sent his asshole straight onto Hunter’s dick for another rough piercing, he admitted in a low, gruff tone, “If you’re not careful, next time I’ll come with just the sting of the leather.” He bit his lip through another tough drilling in his ass, but he never once blinked or looked away. “I loved everything you did to me at the site.” Alex took Hunter’s hand and rubbed it over his hip and around to the curve of his buttocks, as if giving Hunter tactile evidence that no permanent damage had been done to his body as a result of Hunter’s anger that day. “I loved it because it was you, Hunt.” Alex put Hunter’s damaged hand on him too, covering them both with his, holding Hunter to him in another way. “Only because it was you.” Fucking Christ almighty. Hunter choked on his swelling of emotions. Every loving and sexual and tender and aggressive feeling Hunter had in him for this man coalesced into a giant fireball and surged right through him with incredible, awful, wonderful pain. Hunter arched off the bed in a bow, taking Alex with him. Alex’s name ripped through Hunter from his soul, annihilated his throat on the way out, and filled the bedroom in an animalistic cry. Hunter held Alex to him, with every inch of his cock claiming ownership of the man’s ass, as pleasure so intense it cut through his bones consumed him and then had no choice but to exit his body or kill him. Hunter’s seed, his very essence, his love shot out of him and into Alex’s being, the only place it belonged. Hunter filled Alex with cum—with himself—and he did it so completely, Alex jerked on top of him. The man’s passage clamped in a series of tight contractions around Hunter’s cock, and Hunter would have sworn Alex rode another orgasm as well. It took forever, and Hunter had never felt more wrung out in his life, but the tension thrumming through him eventually waned, and his body dropped back to the bed. Alex fell on top of him, a sweet burden of hot, sweaty, out-of-breath man. This moment, this day, this evening fulfilled every secret, buried dream inside Hunter for this man. For Alex. For the person he loved. Hunter wanted to simply

222

Cameron Dane

savor Alex’s weight pressing him into the bed and replay the intense beauty of what had just occurred between them. He wanted to continue running his fingers in little circles over Alex’s back, as he did now, for the rest of the night, and not worry about anything else. But Hunter had learned to accept that his brain did not work that way. His mind immediately started running scenarios of tomorrow, a week, six months, a year ahead, and before his heart had a chance to settle, it revved up again with new adrenaline. Shit. Hunter cursed the tickles of old demons fighting to stir him into a debilitating state of fear. Dr. Royan said this might be a part of me forever. The urge to run to the bathroom for a razor blade pushed at Hunter’s brain, sped up his heartbeat, and made his hands repeatedly clench. New perspiration beaded on his neck before the sweat from sex had a chance to disappear. Hunter nudged at the man on top of him, keeping his touch gentle when the increasing buzz in his blood pushed at him to shove Alex away. “Can I get up?” he asked. Unable to ignore the urges that wanted him to cut himself in order to get away from the powerful emotions, Hunter turned to rules and actions he and Dr. Royan had devised to help him cope. “I have to move.” Alex immediately got off Hunter, breaking the connection of their bodies. “I felt you get tight on me,” Alex said as Hunter jumped off the bed. “What is it?” Pacing, Hunter literally walked his way through the buzzing and the punching trying to gain hold of him. He saw himself pushing through a swirling storm, with his shoulders down against the winds, and reminded himself a funnel cloud wouldn’t sweep down and steal his life. He’d learned through experience that he just had to keep walking and he would be all right. “I need a few minutes,” Hunter shared, mindful of Alex in the room with him. “I started getting those feelings that make me want to do harmful things, and I have to get them clear in my head and sort them out.” Hunter grabbed his sweats off the foot of the bed and shoved them on. He swiped up a HAWKINS RANCH Tshirt from the laundry basket by the door and pulled that on too. He felt unbearably naked in a way clothing wouldn’t cover but still needed some sort of protection. Sitting at the foot of the bed now, Alex slipped into his pants and shirt too but left both unbuttoned. His gaze, so bright and clear with concern and love, ripped at Hunter’s heart. “Would it be ignorant or cruel of me to ask if I could hear what is going on in your head?” Alex asked, even as he sat on his hands, so obviously forcing himself not to move. “No, it wouldn’t.” Hunter flashed back to the time in Dr. Royan’s office where panic had gripped him so completely he’d hyperventilated almost to the point of passing out. Nervousness sliced through him now, again, but he forced himself to remember all the successes he’d had since that first day of unconventional therapy with Hercules, and reminded himself to focus on those better days. Hell, Hunter’s heart pumped faster than it should in this moment, but the fact that he could now actually fight through his demons in front of not just any person, but in front of

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

223

Alex, the man he wanted to love and respect him more than anyone, gave Hunter hope for the future as much as the coping skills he now possessed. Glancing at Alex, a little breathless still, Hunter added, “I just need some time to get myself through this initial bad place, and then I think I’ll be able to talk.” “All right.” Alex nodded and kept himself glued to the bed. Nodding back, Hunter whispered, “Thank you.” As much as Hunter had deliberately aided in creating a damaged, imperfect body for himself, he’d learned through talking with Dr. Royan and going back over the course of his adult life and teen years that a perfectionist lived inside him. He was someone whose best ability and instincts naturally kicked in and allowed him to function well in high-intensity situations; living in a constant war zone had drilled such skills into Hunter’s psyche as the correct way to function. Conversely, returning home to a normal pace of living, with copious amounts of time to project into the future, Hunter tended toward overthinking. He wanted to make everything perfect, and knowing he couldn’t pushed at his emotions to such a degree he turned to violence, directed at himself or others, in order to stop the emotions filling his heart and the thoughts ballooning in his head. Hell. That was just part of the bullshit in Hunter’s brain all the time. He knew he still had a whole host of other fucked-up crap messing with his head too, but right now Hunter recognized what having Alex in his bed and lying on top of him in such a wonderful heap of male perfection a moment ago had done to his brain—where it had sent his thoughts. Hunter zeroed in on the perfectionist already envisioning ten-year anniversaries that could never be. Even if it can’t happen—in his head, Hunter kept pushing through the black cloud and raging winds—it will crush the hell out of me, but I won’t die. Nor will Alex, or anyone else I love. Hunter hadn’t checked the clock, but he probably paced and talked himself into believing the truth of his rational thoughts for a good ten minutes before his heart rate completely calmed. Hunter exhaled. Feeling a bit lighter, he dropped to his knees in front of Alex. “I apologize if I scared you.” He rubbed at the brackets pulling Alex’s mouth into a tight frown. “It’s okay now. My fingers aren’t itching to find a knife anymore.” Alex clutched Hunter’s hand and held it in his lap. “Was it something I did in bed that upset you?” “No, no. You were perfect.” Hunter dipped down and pressed kisses to Alex’s hands. “I just started overthinking and projecting and not liking what I saw. I still have this part of me that wants to shut down or hurt myself so I don’t have to feel anything too big, whether it be good or bad. One of the things I’ve learned to do is move and talk to myself. I have to convince myself I can ride through whatever is trying to push me to distraction with hurting myself, and that in the end I’ll be all right.” “What brought on the panic?” Worry still coated Alex’s careful tone. “Can you tell me what you were thinking that triggered it?”

224

Cameron Dane

Shit. Walking through the initial destructive wave didn’t take away what had erupted this newest volcano inside Hunter. He pushed up straighter and worked like the devil not to well up in front of Alex. “I was thinking this was amazing tonight, and I think you’re about the most incredible, patient man I’ve ever met, and I love you.” Hunter’s heart practically exploded, and he couldn’t stop squeezing Alex’s hands. “I can let myself say that to you now, and I can hear you say it back without freaking out. But even if I know all that, and if I can let myself believe I deserve you, I can’t be with you forever.” Hunter pushed in between Alex’s legs and put them almost forehead to forehead. “I can’t move to Boston with you”—his voice caught, but Hunter pushed on—“and you’ve been away from your life far too long already. At some point you’re going to leave, and I cannot move away from Quinten. It’s finally starting to feel like home again, and I could never do that to my sister. Sarah suffered enough while I was serving active duty, and I owe her time to let us get to know each other and be a tight family again.” Hunter’s heart cracked. He touched Alex’s cheeks, forehead, nose, and mouth with the tips of his fingers, aching to get in as much contact as possible, starting now. “It feels like it’s going to kill me, and I know we don’t yet know when it’s going to happen, but I have to stay here when you eventually return to your life in Boston.” Every bit of tension visibly slid out of Alex, and the sweetest smile suddenly lit his face. “Did you not understand what I meant when I told you I wasn’t going anywhere, you sweet man?” Almost mirroring, Alex brushed his thumbs over Hunter’s slashing cheekbones and jaw. “I didn’t mean I was only staying here for a couple of months. I didn’t mean for however many years it takes to oversee my building project. I meant I’m not leaving Quinten. Or you.” He scraped the softest, fleeting kiss across Hunter’s lips and whispered, “Ever.” Sighing, Hunter dropped back to rest his weight on his heels. “But you have to. I know enough about your finances and career to know you have a multimilliondollar business that is very entrenched in Boston. It’s not going to run itself with supporting players forever.” He put his hand over Alex’s parted lips before the man slipped one word out. “And I know you love what you do too much to give it up. I would never let you.” Alex pried Hunter’s hand off his mouth. “Baby, I own that business. It is a private cooperation. I can do whatever the hell I want with it.” Something of that charming arrogance Hunter remembered from when they’d first crossed paths glinted the green in Alex’s eyes now. “If I want, I can pick it up and move it to Quinten.” “That wouldn’t be financially wise.” Hunter pushed to his feet, pointing at Alex as he started to pace again. “And I know you wouldn’t do that to your people, so don’t try to tell me—or yourself—you would.” “You’re right,” Alex replied. “I wouldn’t. We have a reputation back east, people know where we are, and I wouldn’t uproot us. But I can put someone else I trust implicitly in charge of the day-to-day operations back in Boston”—Hunter

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

225

swung to face Alex, and Alex raised his brows—“which, yes, is exactly what I did today.” “But you would die out here without a business to master and real estate to conquer and rebuild.” Shaking his head, Hunter backed up until his spine hit the wall. “I don’t want to be a part of smothering your soul.” Alex got up and stalked Hunter to the wall. “I can and plan to open an office here, baby.” He nodded as Hunter again shook his head. “There are all kinds of opportunities in middle America that Quick Holdings has not even begun to tackle. I’m already looking into acquiring a beaten-down ski resort in a little town north of here. It’s an ideal location, and I think I can get it for an excellent price and turn it into something incredible that would rival its beachy counterpoint Quick Holdings owns in Hawaii.” Hope got Hunter’s heart skittering in the best, fluttery kind of way. “Really?” “Yes, really.” Alex took Hunter’s hands and guided him to sit at the foot of the bed. This time he knelt at Hunter’s feet. “I am ambitious as hell, but also creative and able to adapt to an ever-evolving environment. Changing my zip code won’t alter that. I want you, Hunt, and I have known from the beginning that part of having you meant being in Quinten. I’ve been thinking about what might happen from almost the start.” His small smile, so full of tenderness, softened the sharklike passion for his work he’d exhibited just a moment ago. “It’s not all-or-nothing. I’m guessing part of your therapy has included your doctor telling you that.” “You’re right. It has.” Hunter suddenly narrowed his stare. “And you’re not guessing. You’ve done research on me.” Alex looked as if Hunter had shot him. “Not specifically on you.” He twisted his hands in Hunter’s shirt, his touch imploring. “I would never violate any confidential relationships you have with professionals or family. But I did read everything I could get my hands on about PTSD, self-harming, and survivor’s guilt.” As Alex’s cheeks pinked, he shrugged. “I love you. Part of that is trying to understand what makes you tick, and to be here to listen with some knowledge should you ever feel comfortable confiding in me.” Hunter brushed his fingers through Alex’s messy blond hair. The man kept himself so put together, Hunter rarely found opportunities to straighten him. “I’ve told you a lot more than I’ve told any other human being.” Hunter’s voice thickened with every word. “I’ve never told anybody, except Dr. Royan now, about holding Will as he died.” Alex blinked a film of wetness from his eyes. “You honor me.” After pushing up from the floor, Alex took a seat next to Hunter at the foot of the bed. “And I’ve never told anyone half the things I told you about Mack.” He took Hunter’s damaged hand and twined the fingers they could. “Or even about my mother,” he added in a softer tone. The prison and Alex’s struggle just to walk inside that day was never far from Hunter’s thoughts. “How’s that going with her?” He squeezed their joined hands.

226

Cameron Dane

“Better. Maybe. A little bit.” Alex made a noise that sounded like it mixed a chuckle and a groan. He tapped the side of his head against Hunter’s shoulder. “I don’t know.” Laughing softly too, Hunter pecked a kiss to Alex’s temple. “Now you’re sounding like me.” Alex shifted on the bed and drew up his knee. “We all have a little bit of that confused, scared person inside us. When it rears up on me now, though”—the love shining in Alex’s gaze surrounded Hunter’s guarded heart—“I want to be able to come to you so I can talk about it until I feel better. Or maybe not even to talk. I just want to know when I’m having a shitty day that at the end of it, I get to come home to you.” Alex’s words, the ease with which he spoke them, continued the wonderful gossamer web he spun around Hunter’s very soul. “As long as I have you, everything else is manageable.” “But moving to Quinten?” That part of Hunter’s brain determined to destroy his peace hung on by a thread. “After the exciting life you’ve led in Boston? And don’t tell me you never really liked living there because I won’t believe you.” “I did like living there, and I’ll continue to commute there on a regular basis. My name is still on the company letterhead, and I do need to make appearances. But I need to tell you something.” Alex paused, and his Adam’s apple bobbed considerably. Before he began again, he let out a shaky breath. “When I lost Mack and I finally had to get out of that house and surround myself with people who would help settle some of that loss inside me, I didn’t think about diverting through Boston. I wanted to come here. I wanted to come to Quinten. Not only for you, as wonderful and sexy and amazing as you are, and even though I was confused with what we were to each other at that time.” Alex rubbed his thumb across Hunter’s mouth, as if in wonder. “I wanted to see your sister and Jace and Jasper too, because they are my friends. I think they like me, just for me, and would still care about me just as much if I lost every penny of my money tomorrow.” “They would.” Hunter ached for Alex. He had yet to forgive himself for leaving this man during such a terrible loss. “Sarah loves you a lot.” Alex sniffed and wiped his nose, but he smiled really big too. “And those damn men of hers do too, even if they won’t admit it.” The light came back into Alex’s eyes, and Hunter admired his ability to move forward. “But even beyond them, I’ve built a great friendship with Ty Boone, and Mavis pinches my damn cheek every time I eat in her diner too, just like she does the folks in this town she considers her family. And just the other day, one of the biggest, loudest opponents of my project here in Quinten came up to me, shook my hand, and actually said, ‘You’re an all right guy.’ This is a man who I swear wanted to strangle me the first time I sat down with the mayor at a town-hall meeting.” Alex clutched Hunter’s hands with a fierce grip. “I want to be a real part of this town, not just a passerby. You are by far the biggest reason why”—Alex climbed onto Hunter’s lap and wrapped his legs around his waist—“but you are not the only one.”

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

227

Next Alex wound his arms around Hunter’s neck and put them forehead to forehead, giving Hunter a close-up of the open, clear affection burnishing his eyes. “Now, should I go into more details about my plans for projects to keep me busy well beyond completing the homes in Quinten? Because I have at least a half-dozen more in addition to that ski resort already brewing in my head.” Love burst within Hunter, and he wanted to shout from the rooftops that he didn’t have to run from it anymore. Alex would always be here for Hunter, and Hunter would go to his grave standing up for and proudly beside Alex for the rest of his life too. “I would like to hear more,” Hunter said. “Not to ease my fears”—placing one of Alex’s hands on his heart, he let the man feel the powerful beat that existed simply due to his proximity—“but rather because you are so fucking sexy when you talk about your work, and I want to know about everything that excites you.” Alex nipped Hunter’s nose. “Only if you promise to tell me more about yours.” His gaze burned, and he couldn’t seem to stop running his hands all over Hunter’s shoulders and chest. “I loved seeing you around those horses, Hunt. You were so clearly in your element and thriving.” Sincerity rang deep and strong in his voice. “It’s where you were meant to be.” “Thank you.” Heat rode Hunter’s neck, but pride in his work, as well as Alex’s pride in him, kept his head up. He stole a kiss and softly said against Alex’s lips, “We’ll have to set up that first riding lesson soon.” “Funny”—as Alex teased Hunter with kisses right back, he swished his ass into Hunter’s cock—“I thought I already had my first lesson a short while ago.” Humor and love mingled in Alex’s gaze. “I stayed on you pretty damn good during that ride.” “You did, honey. You did real good.” Stirring again already, Hunter eased Alex’s shirt from his body. Hunter looked into Alex’s eyes, hungry to see the change as he slipped his hand into the man’s unzipped pants. “But you’ll need lots and lots of practice.” He stroked Alex’s long, beautiful cock to life. Alex moaned and rocked into Hunter’s touch. “Ask anyone who knew me as a kid.” His eyes already glazing, Alex remained locked in on Hunter, a picture of loving perfection. “I was always very, very good at homework.” So unspeakably in love, Hunter drew Alex’s mouth to his and whispered, “Then let’s get started right now.”

228

Cameron Dane

Epilogue March Sitting at the edge of the bed in the shadows of the darkened trailer, wearing a happy little smile, Alex tied his running shoes. To his left, Hunter lay tangled in the sheets, on his side, fast asleep. For Alex, seeing Hunter sleeping peacefully through the night these days was nothing short of miraculous. Hunter still struggled with the desire to cut himself, but he also continued his work with Dr. Royan, and Alex saw his man improving every day. Nightmares didn’t plague Hunter nearly as much now as they had when Alex had first begun sharing a bed with him. Alex could only hope the more Hunter found himself able to openly talk about some of his life and the friendships he’d made—and lost—during his time serving in two wars, the less those memories would haunt him in sleep. As much as Alex loved watching Hunter so peaceful like this, one glance at the clock had him reaching over to hit the Off button a minute before it buzzed. He ran his hand up Hunter’s back, always hungry to touch the ripped, beautiful muscles and warm skin, and leaned down to press a kiss to Hunter’s bare hip. “Rise and shine, baby.” Alex loved when Hunter slept well enough that he had to wake the man up. In between more kisses, Alex nipped and licked his way up Hunter’s stomach and chest to his lips. He murmured Hunter’s name a half-dozen times in between little pecks to his cheeks and the tip of his nose before settling against his mouth again, where Hunter then turned the tables and captured Alex to him with a slow, lazy good-morning kiss. By the time Hunter gave Alex his mouth back, with the exception of his cock, Alex had turned into a pool of jelly. Hunter blinked open his eyes, and warm dark chocolate consumed his gaze. “Mmm…” He rubbed his thumb against Alex’s lower lip and produced a magnificent, easy grin that squeezed Alex’s heart. “That was a nice way to wake up.” So close to drowning in that smile, Alex scrambled out of bed. “It very nearly put me right back in bed on top of you. Damn, you’re good.” He took another step back, out of the bedroom area and out of Hunter’s disheveled, hot-sex-in-themorning aura. “But you need to get up if you want to shower before work, and I have to run.” The first twinkles of daybreak had not yet broken the night outside, but soon would. “The coffee is set to start brewing in ten minutes,” Alex shared. “I’ll see you for dinner tonight.” He kissed his fingertips and waved good-bye.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

229

“Wait, wait.” In his efforts to get to Alex, Hunter tripped over the bedding that had fallen on the floor. He persevered and grabbed Alex’s arm. “Do you have to go?” He backed Alex into the cabinets and dipped down to nibble on his neck and shoulder. Blood immediately began racing, much of it diverting to Alex’s cock. Alex moaned and rubbed his groin into Hunter’s, losing himself in this man, as he always did. Hunter had ridden Alex’s ass pretty hard last night, but Alex found himself in a constant state of wanting to bend over for more. Hunter kissed his way up to Alex’s ear. “You could join me in the shower.” Along with his murmur, he ran his fingers down Alex’s crease and pushed the material against his already fluttering pucker. “I’ll make sure every nook and cranny gets properly cleaned.” Alex let Hunter drag him to the bathroom door but managed to come up for air at the last second. “No, wait. Fucking A.” He trembled and found it nearly impossible to look into Hunter’s eyes and say no. “You know I want to, but I need to get my run in, or I’ll be an impatient asshole all day at work. And you’ll be late too.” Hunter exhaled and dragged his hands through his dark hair. “You’re right. I wouldn’t do that to the nice people in your employ. Have a good run.” He leaned in and pecked Alex’s cheek. “I’ll see you later.” With that, Hunter turned and banged his shin into one of the low cabinet doors that yesterday had decided it didn’t want to close all the way anymore. “Ouch.” After using his foot to rub the offended area, he limped into the bathroom, muttering, “Fuck.” Alex squeezed his eyes closed, pressed his fingertips into his forehead, and almost went ahead and started his run. At the last second, he moved to the bathroom door instead. “Listen.” He locked in on Hunter, who already had his hand under the shower spray gauging the temperature. “There is no pressure, understand that first. I love you no matter what, and nothing you say or do will ever change my feelings. I like my little baked potato”—Alex banged his palm against the trailer wall—“and I love spending nights at your apartment too, but it does just so happen there are some very beautiful houses being constructed in Quinten right now, and I happen to have some pull with the builders.” Alex grinned at his stupid joke for just a split second, but the seriousness of his proposal, as well as the possibilities of Hunter’s myriad of reactions, sobered him quickly. “I love the designs and layout of every house we’re building here,” he went on. “I wouldn’t have approved them if I didn’t like them.” Emotions tightened Alex’s throat, and he couldn’t break away from Hunter’s beautiful gaze. “I just want you to know I would be very proud to live in any one of them with you.” Whew. I just asked him to officially live together. Alex’s heart raced, making him feel incredibly alive. “Take a look at my blueprints whenever you’re ready. You know where I keep them. It’s something for you to chew on in the shower, or for the next week or month or year. No rush,” he added quickly. “Take as much time as you need.” Hunter stood stockstill, and Alex started gnawing on his lip. “Are you okay with what I’m suggesting?”

230

Cameron Dane

Hunter jerked and finally blinked as if coming out of a trance. “Yeah. I just didn’t expect you to say that.” Alex still held at the door, and Hunter made an exasperated sigh. “I’m fine, honey. I promise. And I do know where the blueprints are, and I will look.” He came to Alex and kissed his cheek. “Go ahead and take your run.” For all he’d learned to read Hunter, Alex couldn’t tell the truth of his reaction now. “Okay.” Alex would never forgive himself if he found new scars on Hunter’s body tonight. “Remember, I love you. No matter what.” “I love you too.” Hunter spanked Alex on the ass. “Now go!” Alex rubbed the sweet sting. “All right. Bye.” As Alex left the trailer, a “Whoop!” erupted from the bathroom and sent Alex soaring straight into the sky.

*** A little bit later, Hunter pulled his truck onto the road. He’d lingered over coffee and breakfast after his shower, not because Alex’s stunning proposition had made him smile too much to eat, but rather because he knew he didn’t have to look at Alex’s blueprints to know where he wanted to eventually live. The refurbished farmhouse. Beyond the memories of the tumultuous sexual encounter he and Alex had shared in that house, Hunter still remembered the fondness with which Alex had spoken of the home from the very beginning of their relationship. Whether Alex wanted to admit it or not—or was even aware of his extra affection on a conscious level—if given the choice, Alex would choose that place above the others. That meant Hunter wanted nothing more than to give Alex that home. For Hunter, home was now wherever Alex was, along with scheduled dinners for both of them at Sarah, Jace, and Jasper’s a couple of nights a week. He needed nothing more than that. His job with Cain and Luke, having Hercules in his life, and a growing, great friendship with Corey, were bonuses in a life Hunter sometimes still battled believing he deserved. Hunter could never forget Trey or Will, nor stop wishing they were still here with him, but he now worked hard every day to live a life that would honor them as best he could. Sometimes in the craziest moments—like when he’d made love to Alex last night until both their bodies ached—Will would slip into Hunter’s thoughts, and he somehow knew the guy was hooting and hollering in heaven for him. Right then Hunter rounded a bend in the road, and he grinned as Alex came into sight. The man had already reached the halfway point and now ran toward home. As always, Hunter ate up the vision of such a fit, beautiful man, slick with sweat, and marveled the guy belonged to him. Those damn little black shorts still showcased Alex’s legs and continued to drive Hunter crazy. Right now they highlighted his crotch, but Hunter looked forward to driving past Alex and looking in his side-view mirror to get a glimpse of how they hugged his tight little ass.

Hawkins Ranch: Quick to the Hunt

231

Hunter pulled to a stop alongside Alex. The man glistened with perspiration, and Hunter had never loved or wanted him more. “I already know where I want us to live,” he shared, staggering Alex’s jogging in place to a dead stop. “Really?” Beaming pure, joyous light, Alex ran up to Hunter’s door. “Where?” Hunter winked. Jesus, he’d never done that in his entire life. “Not yet. I’ll tell you over dinner tonight.” “What is this?” Alex growled and glared. “Instead of a cock-tease, you’re a house-tease?” Chuckling, Hunter leaned through the window and stole a quick kiss. “I gotta keep you on your toes. Have a good day, honey.” He touched the brim of his Stetson, as he still did every single morning when he crossed Alex’s running path, and then drove away. Laughing to himself, Hunter watched Alex in his side mirror. For just a moment, Alex stood on the side of the road with his fists planted against his hips, still staring at where Hunter’s truck had been. Just when Hunter thought Alex might kick the dirt like a kid, Alex turned. Facing away, he slowly pulled his shorts down and showed Hunter his ass. Son of bitch, motherfucker. Hunter’s jaw dropped, and his dick instantly went hard as a rock. Alex wiggled his bare ass in Hunter’s direction, pulled his little running shorts back up, and began jogging again. Hunter swerved the truck and chased down his man. He pulled to a stop on the shoulder a dozen feet in front of Alex and shot out of the vehicle. With one lunge, he grabbed Alex and backed him into the side of the truck. Breathing hard already, Hunter clutched a fistful of Alex’s hair and nailed him in place everywhere. “You’ve always known I look when I drive away.” “Hell yes, I do.” Confidence burnished the green in Alex’s eyes. “Today I thought I’d give you a little extra show.” Using his gloved hand, Hunter rubbed his fingertips over the shiny material covering Alex’s cock, all the way up and down his shaft, pleased when Alex’s dick stirred. Lifting his gaze, Hunter said, “And you know what this little scrap of a pair of shorts does to me too.” With a soft moan, Alex worked his hips to stay in constant contact with the small brushes from Hunter’s fingers. “You’ve mentioned it once or twice.” “So now you know what has to happen.” Hunter yanked open the passenger side door and reached into the glove compartment. “We have to make that little fantasy of yours come true.” When Alex saw the packet of lube, his pupils dilated, taking over the green. “You wouldn’t.” He clearly now remembered his admission that he’d thought about Hunter stripping him down and taking him from behind on the side of the road. “Another car might pass.” Hunter dipped down and put his mouth to Alex’s ear. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you pulled down your shorts and invited me to come

232

Cameron Dane

back.” As he whispered, Hunter teased his fingers inside the elastic waistband at the back of Alex’s shorts. Alex darted his gaze left and right, but his erection pushed a bigger tent against his shorts with every brushing contact from Hunter. “You’ll be late for work.” His protest turned into another little moan. Grinning, knowing he shouldn’t, Hunter braced himself above the open door and homed right in on Alex and his pink, pink cheeks. “If I tell my bosses that you flashed me your sweet ass on the side of the road, they are going to completely understand why I’m a few minutes late.” Alex’s blush flooded from rosy to crimson. “You would not tell Cain and Luke I did that.” He never would, but Hunter merely shrugged. “How are you going to buy my silence?” Alex threw himself at Hunter and proceeded to kiss nearly every coherent thought from Hunter’s mind. He wound his arms around Hunter’s back, clinging to him in a way that sank passion, comfort, and boundless amounts of affection into every pore in Hunter’s body. Hunter had no idea how long the kiss went on, or if one or a hundred cars passed them while Alex had him under his spell, but by the time Alex let him up for air, Hunter needed his hands on the truck or he would have stumbled to his knees. Wow. Alex now had hold of Hunter’s cowboy hat. His eyes beautiful and bright, Alex asked, “Will that work?” Hunter shook his head to gather his wits. “It’s a damn good start, honey.” “I knew you’d come back.” Alex tugged on Hunter’s shirt and scraped a fast kiss across his cheek. “I love you.” “I love you too.” Hunter watched Alex as he said those words. Alex seemed to light from within when Hunter shared his love, and seeing it sparked deep, unfathomable pleasure in Hunter. “But you’re not getting out of this.” Love was a wonderful thing, but Alex had also instigated a rawer hunger Hunter could not ignore. “Show me your ass again, honey.” Locked on every tiny nuance in his man, Hunter gave Alex his own version of a wicked grin. “I need to see it.” Right there on the side of the road, smiling so damn big he could compete with the morning sunlight, Alex turned and did just that.

Loose Id Titles by Cameron Dane A Fostered Love Dreaming in Color Something New The HAWKINS RANCH Series Demon Moon Falling ReneCade Knowing Caleb Becoming Three Quick to the Hunt The QUINN SECURITY Series Finding Home The Ultimate Kink Saying I Do Breaking Logan’s Laws

Cameron Dane I am an air force brat and spent most of my growing up years living overseas in Italy and England, as well as Florida, Georgia, Ohio, and Virginia while we were stateside. I now live in Florida once again with my big, wonderfully pushy family and my three-legged cat, Harry. I have been reading romance novels since I was twelve years old, and twenty years later I still adore them. Currently, I have an unexplainable obsession with hockey goaltenders, and an unabashed affection for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I’d love to hear from you! You can find me on the Web at http://www.camerondane.com.