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Ellora's Publishing Title: Portraits - Volume I Word Count: 59,000 Author: C.D. Allen The author is a schoolteacher and works with students with disabilities. Writing has been the author's passion since middle school. Poems, short stories and longer works have been her way of expression. Living in a rural area for most of her life, she has had to live within a world of heterosexual literature. This book is her contribution to her internal definition of normality Mailing Address: 309 Kepner Dr. NE Fort Walton Beach, FL 32548 850-244-2282 Email:
[email protected] Précis The book is a collection of short stories, alphabetical portraits, of the life of a woman struggling with her self as well as others. Various careers are explored through this series, providing women with a bedtime story for 26 consecutive days. Portraits - Volume I provides reading enjoyment for the woman who cannot invest time and energy in a novel. Alicia is about a woman who falls in the park while running, to impress a fellow jogger. To her surprise she is injured severely and awakens in the hospital, being treated by a beautiful doctor. As the fog lifts she realizes the doctor is the jogger in the park. Medication throwing away her inhibitions, Alicia and the good doctor explore fantasy as well as reality. Bianca tells of a teacher struggling to help a young student through a disheartening ordeal concerning parents not willing to accept their child for who she is on the inside. During the trip she meets a comrade in arms that was closer than she realized. Chantel enjoys a single glance from a beautiful stranger only to find that same face at her favorite book store. Sparks fly as the two
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attempt to pursue the meeting of chance. Dorthea struggles to get hold of her life after the loss of her partner of twenty years. With the insistence of her children she pursues a woman at the bank to attempt to fill the void left months before. Elena finds her father to be harsh as each day with Elena reminds him of his wife, who died years before. Coming home from work shortly after graduation Elena finds her things boxed neatly and set on the porch. Alone, she finds the only safe haven is her girlfriend, kept in secret, and the parents that had no clue - or did they? Fiona lands a job in a very prestigious law firm after graduating from Columbia University. Interoffice romance plays a part in helping Fiona find her true calling within the hallowed walls of the courtroom. Gayle loses herself in her writing after a divorce which left her feeling old and alone. Not taking "no" for an answer she ventures to New York to meet with a publisher and finds more than a book deal. Haleigh drives across country only to run into her future, head on, in the driving rain. She had never run over anything before, especially a live thing. As she tries to help the injured woman she discovers she's on the run from something she knows nothing about. A beautiful stranger leads her into a whirlwind of passion. India was an award winning real estate agent, upwardly mobile and doing fine. It felt like she would never find that special someone but little did she know that they would soon walk through the door, coming to her. Jade, a young law clerk, has her world turned upside down when her boss dies and she begins working for a different kind of judge all together. Kayshon discovers love in the arms of a police officer and builds a family out of the most unlikely people. Laveda maintained a thriving horse farm with her partner Joelle. Their business was booming and their love a secret. The racehorse industry was lucrative, especially when the foal being born was worth a small fortune. Laveda wanted it all but could she have it and still stay behind closed closet doors? Maira worked hard in her advertising position, wanting that big break but missing pieces in her life she longed to fill. A new assistant
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and a huge campaign sparked her to life and brought out feelings she never realized were there. Nevar confesses to her cousin about her sexuality and faces old home week with a nervous energy, finding an exciting new friend in the familiar old town. Olivia was Greek and came to the school late in her Senior year. Maggie was a girl mesmerized by the goddess and slowly a relationship grew in the midst of high school. Payton takes a leave of absence from her high paying job to get away from it all for a while. She took flying lessons and jets off onto a high flying adventure of sexual excitement and new found love. Quylus left her ID at the bank, along with her heart. Getting the ID back would be the highlight of her year and the beginning of a spectacular journey. Ryder and Simone set out on a journey to discover the love they once had and find a passion they never realized was lost. Sierra was a soccer player, high school student, and very confused young lady. Her mind and body were not in sync until she met a transfer student from Los Angeles. It was the start of her journey into love. Teran attended night school and was given an anonymous note for a date. She didn't expect to find the romance of her life in the most unlikely partner. Ursula finds first love in high school. Viora does her duty as a police officer and not only catches the bad guy but the good girl as well. Wyoma had an engineering degree and three weeks of vacation before starting her career. Planning to go to her parent's 50 th anniversary party was top priority until she met an elevator mate with a different agenda. Xena ran into a new friend making a lasting impression and sparking flames that would not be easily extinguished. Yarma owned a bookstore and a crappy apartment. Finding herself alone after the end of a long relationship was holding her down until a new, furry friend made its way into her heart, bringing with it an owner with an eye for excitement.
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Zoe's graduation threatened to tear the couple apart until a few good ideas and persistence allowed them to stay together.
Alicia
Alicia was running through the park as she had done a million times. Each time she made the run she noticed different things throughout the park. New playground equipment, animals, other runners and flowers were always catching her eye. However, nothing caught her eye as did the brunette running just ahead of her. She was gorgeous, athletic, and most of all, fast. She could hardy keep up with her. Alicia felt almost like a peeping Tom but she just couldn't stop following her. She had to meet her somehow.
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She decided to push herself and get ahead. It would give her an extra step or two to figure her next move. The idea of being so devious bothered Alicia. It wasn't in her nature to be so conniving but you only live once. The sprint was on and she made her move. Each leg felt heavier, stride for stride. Just as she passed the brunette her leg began to cramp. It was poetic irony that was in motion. Alicia pushed a little further and as she increased her lead her leg tightened and she hit the ground. It wasn't a game anymore. The pain that shot through her knee was familiar. It grew in intensity as she lay on the cool ground. A large rock in the path had managed to find her knee and upper shin. Her mind grew dark and the last image she had was that of bone protruding through the skin.
Light was shining through the heavy fog. Images began to appear, dimly at first, then increasing to perfect clarity. Alicia was in a hospital Emergency Room. The hustle and bustle of the doctors and
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nurses was echoing loudly throughout the room. She thought briefly that she wasn't fully awake. There was still an image of the brunette clearly embossed in her mind. It looked as if she was standing right in front of her. "Well, you're finally awake," the brunette was speaking to her. Suddenly, she was snatched into reality. The brunette was in the ER. In her room. "Yes, I guess so," Alicia was completely embarrassed. She had no idea what to do now. "How do you feel," she asked. Alicia noticed that she was looking at her chart. Her mind was racing. She appreciated the fact she obviously brought her here but it didn't give her permission to go through the chart. "I'm still a little groggy." "That's the pain killer. Believe me, you'd rather feel that than the pain from your leg. We contacted your mother from the information on your driver's license. It seems you've been with us before. She signed forms to allow us to treat you," the brunette was still talking but Alicia
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was busy putting pieces together. "Excuse me but aren't you the jogger I passed before I fell," asking in a curious tone. "Yes, I am. However, I'm also a resident in the ER here at Blue River Memorial. How convenient for you, huh," she smile and Alicia realized that she was even more beautiful up close. She couldn't believe how her mind was working. In the ER with obvious injuries and all she could think of was this brunette. She didn't even know her name. The white jacket had some embroidery on it but from her position she couldn't read it clearly. "I'm Dr. Lavine. We're going to have to admit you for a couple of days. You've had an open fracture of the tibia. We've managed to stabilize the leg but you'll have to have surgery to set the bone. You should be able to go home by Friday. Then physical therapy for a few months." That was the last thing Alicia wanted to hear. All this took place because she wanted to meet up with the brunette and now she was going to be treated by her. This was the most embarrassing time
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of her life. Dr. Lavine excused herself, stating that she was going to have a room prepared. The operating room was ready and the surgery was going to begin soon. The pain had begun again and Alicia was given another shot. Slowly she began to drift off. Thoughts of Dr. Lavine flooded her mind as she drifted back into the haze.
Alicia didn't remember anything else until the next morning. The nurses had come in regularly throughout the night. Hospitals were definitely not the place for rest. By breakfast she was still completely exhausted. As the tray was being picked up Dr. Lavine came into the room. Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing more appropriate attire than the jogging suit from the day before. "How are you feeling today," she asked in a chipper voice. "Exhausted. I feel drained." "That's the combination of the medication and the fact that we put nurses through a course on how to interrupt a patient's sleep. I'm
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glad to see their studies paid off." Beautiful, smart and witty. What more could she ask for? She continued, "We've had the x-rays evaluated and everything is set properly. It'll just be a matter of getting you up and around. Taking a couple of days should do the trick." "I'm gonna have to stay for a few days? I'd rather go on home." "Do you have anyone there to take care of you," Dr. Lavine asked. There was genuine concern in her voice. "Well, my mother isn't exactly the doting type. Basically it's just me." "In that case, you're our guest. Sit back and enjoy," she joked. After a few moments she continued, "I'll be by to see you around lunch time. Do you mind?" Alicia couldn't believe it. All she wanted was to get her attention and that she did. "That'd be great. I'll see ya then." Dr. Lavine turned and left. Sleep came quickly. Just in time for the nurse to come back.
It was already 1 o'clock in the afternoon and Dr. Lavine hadn't
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come by yet. She wondered if she was being silly to think that the good doctor would have the time. Sitting in the hospital room gave her time to reflect on the reason she was there, making her feel more like a fool every time she thought it through. The nurse had given her another shot to subdue the pain. The fog was rolling in her mind and she began to drift in and out. She never heard the door to her private room open. "Alicia, are you awake," the voice was very faint. It was almost unrecognizable. She woke slightly to see Dr. Lavine walking toward the door. "Dr. Lavine, is that you," Alicia asked in a very groggy voice. The doctor turned and came back to the bedside. "Yes, it is. How are you feeling," she spoke with great concern in her voice. "I'm okay now that you're here. I was thinking about you," Alicia said in a sultry voice. Dr. Lavine was visibly amused. "Is that right? What were you thinking about?" Alicia could hardly keep her eyes open. "I was thinking about
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you running. You looked great," her voice trailed off. She could hear herself talking but wasn't sure what was coming out. "What's your real name, Dr. Lavine?" "Kyla. Kyla is my real name," she answered. The smile on her face was causing her to glow. "That's a beautiful name. Kyla. Tell me something else," Alicia had no inhibitions at this point. Kyla wasn't sure how long it had been but it was obvious the pain medication was working. She was sure that she should be leaving but somewhere inside it was flattering to hear these things. "Well, I like to run. But I guess you already knew that." "Did you get hurt when I fell? I would never forgive myself if my little stunt hurt you, too," Alicia stated in her slurred, sleepy voice. Kyla's suspicions were founded. The smile playing on her lips grew. Although she was saddened at the fact that Alicia was hurt so badly, she was thrilled to have someone go to such links to meet her. "I didn't get hurt. I was able to jump over. I was worried about you. Sure am glad I was there," brushing Alicia's hair back to reveal her
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features. Arranging for the private room was a good idea. It gave her the time to visit. "Me, too. Me, too," she reached up and grasped Kyla's hand. She was holding her hand as she gave way to sleep.
The room was dark as she awoke. Her head was clear now. The memory of all that was said was very detailed. Alicia's face was scarlet, thanking God for the darkness. The leg was throbbing but asking for pain medication was what got her into trouble earlier. Guessing the time was difficult and focusing on the clock was even harder. Alicia rang for the nurse. "Yes, ma'am. What can I do for you," the nurse asked. "Can you tell me what time it is, please?" "It's a quarter after 10. Are you okay?" "Yes ma'am. Just can't seem to see the clock very well. I'm okay. Thank you." She reached up and pulled the chain on the light filling the room and exposing an enormous arrangement of flowers on the stand. Roses,
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violets and carnations arranged in a rainbow of colors. There wasn't a card. The plant stand gave the name of the florist but no indication of one who sent the bouquet. The door opened slightly as Kyla peaked in the room. "How's my favorite patient today," she asked. "Actually, the word would be embarrassed." Alicia's face began to redden again. "I don't know why. I'm very flattered." "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not some sort of psycho that goes around stalking people. I was just interested and…," Alicia let her sentence trail off. She wasn't sure if Kyla had the idea but embellishing on it didn't feel like the right answer. Kyla wasn't letting her off that easy, "Just what? What were you interested in, Alicia." She turned to face the good doctor. She looked tired but still very beautiful. "In getting to know you better. Asking you out. Talking to you. I don't know. Either one and I made a fool of myself." She turned to face the wall. Between the pain in her leg and
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one on her ego she couldn't face Kyla. A strong but gentle hand turned her back. "I'm just sorry you got hurt, Alicia. There's been a lot on my mind the past two days. I've discovered one very important thing. I'm very flattered. The other thing I think you should know is that I've never had another woman approach me before." Alicia cut her off, "I'm sorry. Don't think that I'm trying to push myself on you. I just don't believe in hiding myself. I would never want to insult you." "You didn't insult me. Like I was saying, I've never had it happen but I'm not running either. Did you notice?" Alicia searched her face to see if she was serious. There wasn't anything to show different. They talked for another hour before Kyla decided to go home. She had rounds in the morning and a shift in the ER. Neither wanted to part ways. After midnight Alicia reached sleep. It was a comfortable sleep filled with pleasant thoughts. Even the nurses coming and going wasn't that tiresome. She knew that the morning would bring Kyla so rest was
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peaceful.
Alicia awoke to Kyla rubbing her face, so gently the caresses sent shocks across her skin. "Good morning. How are you feeling," Kyla asked. "I'm okay. I might have to have one of those shots though. I've held off all night but it's pretty bad this morning." "Are ya' sure you want one. The last time, well you now," she trailed off with laughter as she hit the call button and ordered the medication. The nurse entered quickly and was gone before she knew it. The medicine took effect allowing her to relax again. "Are you feeling it already? Good stuff, huh," she was rubbing her hand now. It seemed she was always trying to touch her. "I guess it is because I want to kiss you." Kyla leaned forward and whispered, "What's stopping you." Alicia was floored. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Reaching up and pulling Kyla to her she kissed her gently.
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Kyla pulled away looking at Alicia. She couldn't believe how strong it felt. It had been over a year since she was in a dating situation but even then it wasn't like what she was feeling with Alicia. "Are you okay, Kyla?" Kyla stood staring at her without moving or speaking. After what seemed an eternity she smiled and blushed. She moved closer and began kissing Alicia. Everything she'd believed passion could be was coming true. The kiss was sending waves of heat throughout her body, melting her from the inside out. The desire to touch Alicia's body was strong. Her mind was racing trying to figure out what to do. She was hungry for every movement but inexperienced. Just then, Alicia's hand began caressing her breast making Kyla's knees weak. It was almost embarrassing at how her body was devouring this attention. Alicia was experiencing her own style of ecstasy. Kyla was classy and sophisticated. Her every movement suggested a different heir than she was used to. The medication was making her weary but the passion was climbing.
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She allowed her hand to find its way under Kyla's blouse, exploring that perfect body as best she could. The reaction she was getting told her that she was on the right track. Suddenly Kyla stopped, "Wait," she exclaimed. "I can't do this. Not this way." "What do ya' mean? Am I doing something wrong," Alicia asked, breathless. "No, you're doing everything right. That's the problem. My whole body's on fire. You're hitting it everywhere." "Then what's wrong? Why'd you pull away?" "I don't know. I guess because I'm at the hospital, you're in a cast and I've just doped you up for the pain. Somehow it doesn't feel right to make love to you this way." "It feels extremely alright to me," Alicia laughed. "Remember, I'm the one that broke myself up trying to get your attention." Alicia pulled Kyla closer again, kissing her gently before moving on to her ear. She whispered, "I want to make love to you. I'm not a one night stander either but I want you."
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Kyla took Alicia's hand and kissed her fingertips, allowing them to slide into her mouth and running her tongue between them. As Alicia's breath caught Kyla knew she had succeeded. "You'll have to keep that in mind for now. I've got rounds." With that Kyla kissed her deeply, turned and was gone. Alicia was stunned and extremely excited. She knew she'd have to make Kyla pay for that one.
Alicia waited throughout the day to see her. By late afternoon Kyla hadn't come back. Night had begun to fall and Alicia was beginning to get hungry. It was unusually quiet and the other patients had already been given their trays. She knew this because the noise the nurses made taking them up was incredible. There was a faint knock at the door as it opened, revealing a beautiful Kyla carrying bags from Delmario's. She realized it was coincidence but it happened to be her favorite restaurant. The smell was wonderful. "I was wondering if you'd have dinner with me tonight," she
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asked Alicia, in a quiet voice. "I mean, I can't very well take you anywhere but I would like to go out with you before I have sex with you. If I remember correctly that's how it's suppose to work." Alicia was in awe as she watched Kyla place the meal out. It was hard for her to believe that this incredible woman wanted her too. The leg was a nuisance at this point. Her concern was in this date. As they ate the conversation was light. Learning more about each other as they shared memories, stories, and information. It was as if they had known each other forever. Kyla wrapped everything up and sat staring at Alicia. Finally it was Kyla who broke the silence. "You'll be able to go home tomorrow. What plans do you have? You'll need someone to take care of you for a little while longer." "I'm not sure. Mother hasn't been by so I really don't know. I've always been self-reliant. I'm sure I'll make it," Alicia explained. However she wasn't sure that it was true. "Well I was thinking, maybe you'd like to stay with me for a couple of days. I have some vacation time coming and I'd like to take it
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with you. What do ya think?" Alicia thought for a minute about the possibilities before she added, "Would it be okay if we stayed at my place. At least for a couple of days. I can't wait to get into my own bed. Would that be okay?" "You're right. I'm sure you're sick of this place." "It's had its moments," Alicia stated as she pulled Kyla to her. "Dates over, do I get a kiss now. After the way you left me earlier it's the least you could do for me." "It's the least I plan to do to you," Kyla offered with a slight devilish tone to her voice. She pulled the covers back revealing Alicia's body, exposing her athletically strong form. Warmth flooded her as she began touching and feeling every inch. Alicia's back arched letting Kyla know she was enjoying the moment. The kisses were magical and the passion was rising higher and higher. Alicia's hand had found its way under Kyla's blouse again, massaging and heightening both their pleasure. Between the pain
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medication and the afternoon of dwelling on this moment Alicia knew her fulfillment would be met quickly. Kyla, allowing her fingers to explore, found Alicia warm and inviting, hungrily accepting her as she entered. The inexperience of the earlier event had disappeared as Kyla became the aggressor, making love to Alicia with passion and determination. As Alicia's body released, Kyla could feel her own gratification mounting. She held it at bay though, wanting to experience it fully when they could be at home. Alicia had never felt anything so powerful. All she wanted to do was hold Kyla. She looked into her eyes and almost cried. "I can't believe this is happening," was all she could say.
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Bianca
As the bell rang and the class filed out Bianca sat at her desk not wanting to get up. It was Monday and the day had lasted a lifetime. Rain was falling down in sheets, blowing across the window. Looking out over the schoolyard she drifted back to the night before. Jeffrey had decided that he was tired of life with her and took his things. That didn't affect her as badly as his taking the dog. They had raised the dog together but technically she did belong to him. What could she say? He claimed that she was too distant, didn't give him enough
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affection and he felt that she didn't need him at all. Most of it was basically true, she had to admit. Her relationships were always short lived. She never seemed to be able to hang on for more than a year or so. Although, Jeffrey had been different. They had lasted almost 3 years. However, it was still very expected. The rain had stopped, giving sign for her to go home. She had an early morning meeting with the Guidance Counselor. Sort of a prep meeting for the parent conference later tomorrow afternoon. "Ms. Maylon," a small voice called from the doorway. "Can I use your phone to call home? I missed the bus again." "I guess so, Amanda," Bianca responded comically. "You sure are making this bus thing a habit. Is everything okay?" "Yes, ma'am. I'm just not very comfortable on the bus. I'm supposed to be getting a car later this month." "Congratulations. I bet you're excited. No more afternoon phone calls, though. I'll miss it." She watched Amanda go the phone. She was the student that the conference was going to be about tomorrow. She was a great student but socially she was having some
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problems. She hoped that they'd get to the bottom of it tomorrow. "Thanks Ms. Maylon. I'll see you tomorrow." "Did you get a ride?" "No. My Dad told me that if I did this again he wouldn't come get me. I guess he was serious. I'll catch something. Don't worry." With that she slipped out quickly. Bianca was heart broken for her. She wasn't sure what the meeting was for tomorrow but her parents were to be the center of the discussion.
The next morning Bianca arrived early. As she entered the Guidance Department Melissa Grant was already hard at work. Amanda's file was spread out across Melissa's desk. "I'm glad you're here Bianca. We've got a mess here," she said as she settled back in her chair. "What's up, Melissa?" "Well, it seems that Amanda's parents are convinced that she is gay and want to turn her over to her Grandmother. Isn't that a crock a'
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shit? Just throw her away because she doesn't fit into their little mold." "I can't believe it. Is it true?" Bianca asked, almost dumbfounded. "Personally, I believe that it is. There've been rumors but nothing concrete. Either way, the parents are convinced and want her out of their house." "What are we suppose to do?" Bianca couldn't fathom what she was hearing. "I don't really know. They are coming in to get the paperwork changed. They've already done the court work. Basically they are relinquishing custody to the Grandmother. At this point I can't say that they're doing the wrong thing. If they don't want her I guess it's for the best. I've asked you here as a witness. I know that Amanda feels comfortable with you." Bianca could tell that Melissa was upset by this situation. It had to be hard to deal with this all the time. Bianca was glad she was just a teacher. "I can't imagine turning my back on someone just because they
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were gay. Especially my own flesh and blood." "Well that's very interesting," Melissa replied. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something. You know I'm gay, right?" "I had an idea. But it doesn't matter, if that's what you're asking." "Not exactly. I was hoping that you'd have dinner with me tonight. This is gonna be difficult and I was thinking that we could grab some dinner afterward. Maybe a movie or something." Her mind was a whirlwind. Was Melissa asking her out or merely wanting an evening with a friend? She wasn't sure. "You know I'm straight, right?" "I had an idea. But it doesn't matter," Melissa responded jokingly. She paused briefly then joked, "Did I offend you?" "No, actually I'm a little flattered," Bianca replied. Before she realized it she asked, "Are you officially asking me out on a date?" "I'm taking a risk here, Bianca. Right now we're behind closed doors and for obvious reasons it has to stay this way. But I've been interested for a while and I'd like to take you to dinner. Are you
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attached?" "No, I'm not," she stated. "I'd love to go to dinner with you. Does this mean you're going to pick me up, the whole date scene?" "Definitely. I'm basically a hopeless romantic. How about I come by around 6 o'clock?" "Sounds great," Bianca concluded and they continued their prep for the conference. The day was filled with curiosity about the night to come. She had always been very open-minded and liberal. Although, she hadn't had a relationship with a woman before, she was intrigued.
The meeting was very depressing. Amanda was talked about as if she wasn't even in the room. Her face was red from the time she entered until her Grandmother took her lovingly away, a look of disgust firmly on her face. "Don't get us wrong, Ms. Grant. We love our daughter. We just can't have her around our other children with this rebellion. Can't you understand that?" Amanda's mother asked.
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"No ma'am. I can't say that I do understand. However, it's not my place to justify your actions. I'm here for Amanda. If you don't have more questions I guess we're concluded," dismissing the Clark's with her tone. As the parents of the forlorn child left the office Bianca noticed a tear welling in Melissa's eye. It was obviously difficult for this highly trained counselor to see a heartbroken child. Bianca was convinced the tears fell for more than the child.
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Chantel
New York in the winter. Thanksgiving Day parades, lighting of the tree and snow. What more could you want? Chantel watched the people skating at Rockefeller Center as she sipped her coffee. The Christmas music was playing as the children were bundled and twirling across the ice. There was no place Chantel would rather be right now. "Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am" a voice asked from behind her. "Can I borrow this extra chair?" Chantel looked up into the eyes of a young brunette, smiling at her softly. "Sure! Uh, sure. Go ahead."
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For a few moments Chantel was tongue-tied. This young woman was breath-taking with her medium length brunette hair and brown eyes, sparkling. She seemed very athletic. Chantel watched her casually take the chair to an open spot by the wall. It was obvious the young lady was trying to get a better view of the rink, perhaps to watch the children as well. Minutes passed as Chantel sipped her coffee and continued to watch, but not the children on the ice, rather the movements of a total stranger. It had been a while since her last date. Oh the life of a single woman with interests that didn't lie within the groin of a male. Without warning the stranger turned and locked eyes with Chantel. Crimson warmed her face but she couldn't turn away. A smile played the lips of the anonymous interest as she rose and was gone. Chantel felt her heart pounding in her ears. She knew that this was what it meant to be alive, the thrill of being caught with the fear of being discovered. Chantel laughed out loud. The couple at the adjacent table turned to stare. "Merry Christmas," she said as she smiled sarcastically then also took her leave.
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It was very early. The bookstore was packed with Christmas shoppers. An aroma of specialty coffee's and ginger cookies filled the air. If it didn't feel like Christmas before it certainly did now. Chantel drank in the spirit of the season as she browsed book after book. " Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way….." "Are you finding everything you need?" "Yes, thank you," Chantel turned and stood stunned. "Well, if I can help you just let me know," replied the young woman who had stolen Chantel's moment of solitude and had possessed her thoughts for the past hour. The young sales clerk continued, "Didn't I see you at the Center?" "Yes, uh, yes you did. You borrowed a chair." "I thought you looked familiar, but after hours of customers people tend to blend." She smiled as she turned going back to work. Chantel cruised the store for several minutes. It seemed they bumped into each other many times though never introduced themselves. Dead end. Even in New York it was hard to meet
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people, always unsure of the outcome and never comfortable with the risk. Final choices were made as Chantel approached the checkout counter. Placing her treasures on the counter, the clerk began to ring them up as the intriguing stranger exchanged places with the register clerk, dismissing her casually. "Did you find everything you were looking for tonight?" Her eyes were on fire. She was very sophisticated and refined. "Yes, thank you, everything." It wasn't often that Chantel found herself tongue-tied but it seemed common place for the past few hours. "Do you have our discount card? We've just started this promotion." She handed Chantel a card with various discount offers printed on it as well as a phone number neatly scrolled on the back. She quickly looked up to read the reaction on the clerk's face. She was smiling. "Yes, thank you. I've, uh, yes, everything." Idiot. She couldn't believe how numb her tongue seemed to have become. The clerk smiled as her eyes lit up brightly. Chantel simply stared.
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"Well, I hope you use the card soon. Come again." Chantel took her purchases and slowly walked to the door. Looking back over her shoulder she noticed that the clerk was smiling at the next customer, giving them the attention that they needed. The card was scratched with her name on the back. Beth. Beautiful name for a beautiful face.
Sleep was peaceful. Dreams flooded her night. Sweet, pleasant dreams of sunlight and warmth. Chantel awoke refreshed and ready for the day. She dressed, showered and was 5 minutes late for work. But she didn't care. The day seemed to fly by with very little distraction. It was fast approaching 5:00 pm. Courage had filled her and she decided to give Beth a call. Fishing through her bag she came up empty. Oh god. Where had she put the freaking card? All the contents dumped into the floor did not help the search. A beautiful day ended in disaster. How could she be so stupid? Chantel tore her wallet apart, then her desk. Finally, fishing into her jacket pockets with no luck. Her mind was
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racing as she tried to retrace her steps in thought. Leaving the bookstore she walked home. Card in hand. She closed the door to her apartment, took a shower and went to bed. Where was the card? Kitchen table! After straightening her office she reorganized her bag and wallet, leaving for home. It seemed to take forever for the train. Even as quickly as they run time seemed to stand still. Chantel smiled to herself as she allowed a peace to envelope her. The excitement that boiled her blood was refreshing. A veil had clouded her for several months. Allowing herself to move on, 8 months after her mom's death, was a small victory for her psyche. Finally arriving, the N train stopped with a slight lurch and Chantel was jogging on air as she bound her stoop two steps at a time. The door resisted her attempts at first, playing with Chantel's heart strings. Giggling now, she reached the counter where her trophy awaited her. Hands trembling, heart pounding, and eyes dancing with light, she lifted the phone from its peaceful slumber. "Hello," came a voice on the other end of the line. Chantel
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couldn't tell if it was Beth or not. "Yes, may I speak to Beth please?" There was a long pause before the voice responded, asking her to hold. The dead silence was eerie. "Hello, this is Beth." "Beth, this is Chantel. We met at the bookstore last night. You gave me the card." It seemed as if Chantel was floating. Her nerves were exposed as she tried to figure out who the woman who answered the phone was as well as hoping Beth remembered her. "Yes, of course. I was hoping you'd call," again an eerie silence. "This is a little awkward. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing," Chantel instantly regretted calling. She had never been good at asking people out and it didn't look as if it had improved any. "I know. Um, maybe I can make it easier. Do you think you would like to have coffee with me at the café by the rink, if you don't have plans or anything?" Her voice seemed sweet an innocent. Chantel relaxed and let out a deep breath. It felt as if she was holding it without realizing. "Yes, I would love to grab a cup of coffee. What about 7 o'clock? Is that too early."
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"Not at all. See you then." With that she hung up. Chantel held the phone for what seemed like minutes but was only a few seconds. Her heart was beating in her ears so loudly that she just knew others could hear it if they stood close enough. She looked at her watch and realized it was already 6:15 pm. There was just enough time to shower and change before catching the train. She didn't want to be late. The train was crowded with people shopping for the last minute gift. There were red and green packages of every shape and size. One man held a teddy bear that must have weighed 30 pounds. It looked as if there was another person in the car taking up an extra seat. A woman, that appeared to be in her sixties, held an electric guitar and a power amp. The image of her on stage, jamming, made Chantel smile. As she departed there was a small group of carolers in the station at Rockefeller Center vocalizing joy and glee of the season. Scanning the crowd for Beth, Chantel seemed to not be able to find her in the sea of bundled shoppers warming themselves by their coffee cups. She walked slowly through the tables and made her way to the railing where she peered over to look at the children skating.
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"Looking for someone special," came a voice, softly whispering behind her. Chantel turned to see those piercing eyes, wrapped in a shawl and bundled in a leather jacket and gloves. "Yes, yes I am," suddenly Chantel felt confident and in control. In all of her 30 years she had never felt more at ease than she did at that moment. There was a small table nearby that had just been cleaned and Chantel motioned for her to take a seat then pulled her chair out for her. "What are you thinking," Chantel asked as she noticed that Beth was smiling as if trying to suppress a giggle. "I just realized I don't know your name." They both laughed out loud. "I'm Chantel, Chantel Walker. Glad to meet you," she stated as she extended her hand in introduction. Beth removed her glove and shook Chantel's hand gently. "Same here." The evening was comfortable yet invigorating. They laughed and shared past history while discussing the difficulty of dating. It seemed that they shared many things, likes and dislikes, as well as the love of
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theatre and movies. It seemed like minutes when Chantel realized it was almost 9:00 pm. They had talked the entire evening. She couldn't remember when she had been content to sit in one place and talk. Chantel, feeling as if she needed to say something asked, "Would you like to go see a movie?" She didn't want the evening to end. "No, actually there is something else I'd like to do." "Really? Name it." Chantel was floating on Cloud Nine. "Come on, I'll show you." Beth grabbed Chantel's hand and pulled her to her feet. It seemed they were flying through the crowd and hitting the stairs, making their downward descent to the lower level of the Center. As they approached the ice rink a man in a booth took their size and fitted them with skates and a ticket which allowed them to take the ice. The music was filling the air with the spirit of Christmas and the company filled Chantel's heart with the feeling of joy. Beth seemed to have no inhibitions, completely at ease with herself. As they circled the ice, music changed and couples seemed to
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move a little closer together. Beth turned to face Chantel, skating expertly backwards and running her arms around Chantel's neck. "Is this okay," she asked with a glint of mischief in her eye. All Chantel could do was nod in affirmation. "How about this," Beth asked as she leaned in closer. Her breath smelled of spearmint as her words were close enough for Chantel to feel against her cheek. Chantel knew that her Christmas wishes were being granted as she smiled into those piercing eyes. The crowd disappeared into the enveloping emotion and peace came over her as the snow began to fall.
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Zoe
Zoe and Carmen had been seeing each other for over six months but had never had sex. It was hard to keep the relationship away from their parents but sometimes people are willingly blind to the obvious. They were hardly ever apart, each weekend spending the night at each others house and neither dated. Obviously. Graduation had come and gone with college looming in the near future. Carmen was going to a local community college and Zoe had gotten a scholarship to NYU and would be leaving within the month. This fact in itself caused much tension between them. They hardly were around each other for more than a few minutes before they were
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arguing about something trivial. "Carmen," Zoe called her house late. "We need to talk. I mean, can you come over tonight." Her voice was sincere and you could feel the pain within her words. Zoe waited for an answer. "Not tonight, Zoe. I can't handle it. Not tonight." She was almost crying. Zoe knew that it was more than they could handle. She had written NYU in Carmen's name and had gotten her an interview with the campus bookstore. Zoe knew it would be tough but she had thought it through. They were young, true. They were inexperienced, true. They knew very little about the real world, true. But she loved her more than anything and wanted to be with her, true. Zoe thought of her parents. They were still in high school when they started dating. Their parents had a fit and by the time they were in 11 th grade her mom was pregnant and had to finish school in the next county just to keep everyone quiet. That was also why their parents were anal about college and celibacy. "Carmen, come down to my house. Right now. I need you here. It's about New York." Her voice was serious and Carmen knew she
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needed to listen. It was the official voice. The one that makes you almost say 'yes ma'am'. Zoe had a way of taking charge without even trying.
In less than 5 minutes Carmen was pulling into the driveway. She had her overnight bag and purse, making Zoe's heart flutter just to watch her cross the yard and come into the porch. She disappeared out of view and was knocking on her bedroom door within seconds. It made Zoe wonder why she always knocked, but then again glad that she did. There was a 8 x 11 envelope on her bed and she had candles lit across the room. Carmen didn't know it but Zoe's parents were out of town and they would have the house to themselves until late the next day. Carmen came in and stood in the middle of the room. She would have normally crossed the floor and hugged Zoe, kissing her softly, softening her body. Not today. She was motionless and quiet. "Well, I'm here, Your Highness," sarcasm prevailing. "What is it you want?"
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Zoe smiled and winked. "Well, it's you I want. Come here, please." She extended a hand and invited her to join her. No dice. She stood there, waiting, wondering what was going on. Seeing that she wasn't getting anywhere Zoe reached for the envelope and handed it to Carmen. "What's this," she asked. "Open it. Go ahead." Zoe stood their waiting for her to take the envelope. It seemed to take forever before slowly beginning to tear the edges. Zoe wanted to reach over and rip it apart herself, knowing the contents and wanting so much to share it with her. It had come in today but Zoe wanted to wait before she told her about it. However, when Carmen wouldn't come over she knew it would have to be this way. The envelope finally gave way and Carmen began to read the contents. As she read the cover letter she slowly sat down on the bed. Her eyes were absorbing everything. The college catalog was highlighted and marked, by Zoe, in the Pre-Law section. Carmen
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looked up slowly. "What did you do, Zoe?" Her eyes were rimming with water. "Nothing, just sent a letter or two. No big deal." It was the first time in years that she couldn't read her. She had no idea if what she had done was good or bad. Her heart was beating and she could feel it push blood through her body. "My parents can't afford this. I can't go there. How..," she trailed off. "I've got it all worked out. We both have jobs, share a dorm room, and I'll pay for the room. We can do it. I promise." Zoe had a positive way about her, making everyone around her feel they could fly to the moon if they needed. She went to Carmen and sat next to her. As she took her hand Carmen turned to her, wrapping her arms around her neck and she began to cry. "I thought you were going to leave me. Can we really do this?" The whisper was almost inaudible. "I know we can," now the hard part. "The only thing we have to do is make sure nobody knows about us until after this first year. It
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won't work if they find out and don't let us live together." Zoe knew it was deceptive but she couldn't think of another way. Carmen's sister was off at college and she was crazy wild. Living with her girlfriend would be angelic compared to the drinking, drugs and sex romps that she and her roommates enjoyed. Carmen nodded. Her eyes pleaded with Zoe. They had been so strong for so long but Carmen had been weakening more and more each day. Zoe knew it and wanted her as much but was trying to be strong. The idea of spending the next year together and the realization that they wouldn't be apart was more than they could handle. It wasn't clear who made the first move but before either of them knew it they were kissing. Zoe held her tight and could feel every bump and lump of Carmen. Between the two Zoe was the stronger. She was taller, bigger, more fit than Carmen. It seemed they were perfect. When they slept Zoe would curl around Carmen, keeping her safe and warm. Zoe's mom walked in once but seemed to be oblivious or just plain ignorant.
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Now, as they kissed, holding each other, they knew what was about to happen was something that scared them both to death. Zoe was slowly pulling off Carmen's clothes. She whispered, "Mom and Dad are gone. They won't be back until tomorrow night." Carmen looked up at her and smiled. There was no turning back now. Zoe had seen Carmen's body several times, peeking at her as she changed clothes, watching her dry off when she left the bathroom door slightly open, and once at night as she slept and the nightshirt fell away revealing the most beautiful breasts she had ever seen. But seeing her tonight was like the first time. It became completely silent, not like in the movies at all. The only sounds were a pounding in her ears that she realized much later was her own heartbeat. It wasn't as if she had any experience. She simply went with her instincts. Carmen was naturally female, following the lead given her and succumbing to Zoe's touch. She laid Carmen back on the bed, pulling down the covers to allow her inside. As the sheet lay over Carmen, caressing her curve of her hip, flowing softly over her legs turned Zoe on to the point that she knew her body was flowing with something
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deep within her. As she climbed in beside her Carmen nestled her head on her shoulder. Zoe traced her face, lingering at her mouth and progressing on to her neck, chest and stomach. She noticed the chill bumps but knew that it was more desire than cold. Her stomach was so muscular and flat, hip bones sticking up, inviting her to touch them. As she did Carmen nearly jumped out of her skin. It was as if electricity ran through her. Zoe was fired up. There was a tingling deep within her and it felt as if it moved toward the very thing that made her female. She moved her body, positioning it on top of Carmen as she'd seen on TV a dozen times. She wanted so much to make this experience the best it could be for Carmen … and herself. When she pressed her hips to Carmen, she responded in kind. Their rhythm became one and with each stroke they were climbing and climbing. Unsure of her next move she reached down and began to softly massage Carmen, bringing the wetness between her fingers and rubbing it against Carmen's flesh. She became a student, watching and learning
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what reaction each touch was bringing out in her. Her fingers trailed further until she found an enticing avenue. Looking up as she entered, Zoe saw Carmen become slightly nervous and felt her tighten. "I'll stop," she whispered. "No, no. I'm okay." Carmen smiled an uncertain smile but encouraged Zoe to continue by spreading her legs and closing her eyes. Zoe felt so much love for her it was almost overwhelming. As she entered Carmen, taking her center, she thought she was going to cry, but controlled it, focusing on each movement. It was the sweetest, most wonderful feeling she had experienced. It was as if a tunnel had collapsed around her fingers, pulling them in further with each stroke. Carmen was moaning now and Zoe felt that something was happening that was out of her control. The first wave hit her without warning. Her stomach seemed to press into her back bone and her body became so sensitive she could hardly keep her legs together. There wasn't a way to describe what she was feeling but she knew it was an orgasm. She wanted Carmen to feel it but wasn't sure
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how to make it happen. Her fingers worked within a rhythm, matching her movement with Carmen's breathing and moaning. Suddenly Carmen grabbed her hand; pushing it in so far she thought she would lose it. Her hips began to pump and grind on Zoe's fingers. She was almost screaming as she came hard, her flow coating Zoe, causing her to climax again without contact. The next few minutes seemed to take an eternity. They were both exhausted and fell asleep holding each other, dreaming of New York and the wonders that awaited them. They never heard Carmen's mother enter the room.
