Nothing to Lose

Blackhawk Brothers

Nothing to Lose Galynn Taylor is running from a violent domestic relationship. Injured, she makes her way across the country. When she decides to walk to the next town to throw off the pursuit, a storm catches her and she collapses on the side of the road. Freezing, hurt, and not sure how much farther it is to the next town, she is ready to give up. Cooper Blackhawk finds her and, after getting her treatment, takes her home. At first Cooper is in protective mode, but all too soon that grows into something more. The attraction is mutual. He wants more, but Galynn is terrified that Mick will find her and hurt Cooper or his family in trying to get to her. She can’t risk that and runs again. This time she leaves her heart, but unknowingly keeps a part of Cooper with the baby she carries. Genre: Contemporary Length: 50,562 words

NOTHING TO LOSE Blackhawk Brothers

Lavada Dee

ROMANCE

www.BookStrand.com

ABOUT THE E-BOOK YOU HAVE PURCHASED: Your non-refundable purchase of this e-book allows you to only ONE LEGAL copy for your own personal reading on your own personal computer or device. You do not have resell or distribution rights without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner of this book. This book cannot be copied in any format, sold, or otherwise transferred from your computer to another through upload to a file sharing peer to peer program, for free or for a fee, or as a prize in any contest. Such action is illegal and in violation of the U.S. Copyright Law. Distribution of this e-book, in whole or in part, online, offline, in print or in any way or any other method currently known or yet to be invented, is forbidden. If you do not want this book anymore, you must delete it from your computer. WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. If you find a Siren-BookStrand e-book being sold or shared illegally, please let us know at [email protected]

A SIREN-BOOKSTRAND TITLE IMPRINT: Romance

NOTHING TO LOSE Copyright © 2012 by Lavada Dee E-book ISBN: 1-61926-252-5 First E-book Publication: February 2012 Cover design by Jinger Heaston All cover art and logo copyright © 2012 by Siren Publishing, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

PUBLISHER www.BookStrand.com

NOTHING TO LOSE Blackhawk Brothers LAVADA DEE Copyright © 2012

Chapter 1 With a whoosh of air breaks, the big bus shut down and settled like a fat sitting hen. Galynn Taylor watched with a sinking heart as they pulled into the tiny town of Paxton, Montana. She again rethought her decision to buy tickets for different stops instead of one for the whole way. She glanced at her watch. It was five a.m., and everything, including what passed for a bus station, was closed. She had hoped for a bigger bus station so she wouldn’t stand out as a single woman when she bought a ticket, but the size of the town alone would make that impossible. If Mick did manage to track her this far, it wouldn’t take much for him to guess which direction she was headed. Darn! This wasn’t good, and just when she had thought she’d caught a break. Galynn had been weaving across the States so she wouldn’t leave a straight trail to her final destination for Mick to follow. She thought that she’d lucked out at the last stop. It had been a good-sized town, and a friendly older woman had gotten her husband to purchase a ticket for her. It turned out to be the perfect foil, as he was traveling to Paxton alone to help his son-in-law. The purchase of two tickets simply made it look like a man and wife traveling. If a camera picked him up buying the ticket, another camera in the station might again

Nothing to Lose

7

show him with his wife. There would be no evidence she had ever been in Paxton. It worked even more to her advantage because this was the most important stop along the way. From Paxton, Galynn planned to take a direct route through Spokane and into Seattle, her last stop. She reached up to the overhead compartment for her backpack and gasped as a sharp pain hit her back. It was a reminder that the injuries from the recent beating that she’d taken weren’t healed. She sucked in her breath and looked around. There wasn’t a bustle of passengers getting off like she’d hoped. The only other passenger to exit the bus was the man who had purchased the ticket for her. As he passed in the aisle, he smiled and wished her luck. She nodded to him. It would take a lot more than luck. She made her way toward the front of the bus. Maybe she should talk with the driver and see if she could purchase a ticket to Spokane from him. She rejected the idea almost as soon as it popped into her head. That would draw attention to her for sure. Best to get quietly off the bus and walk to the next town. It couldn’t be too far, and maybe luck would be on her side and someone would again get a ticket for her. Anyone who would throw Mick off the track of a single woman would work, like maybe a woman with children or an older couple. Galynn stood on the deserted sidewalk. The man from the bus wasn’t anywhere in sight. Up the street she could see a country diner. He’d probably gone there. A cup of coffee sounded awfully good after a night of riding the bus, but again, she didn’t want to do anything that would draw attention to her. A sign in the hardware store in front of her said, “Bus Station.” Next to it, one read, “Closed.” Thankfully there was also a bus schedule and map taped to the window. The next town, Blackhawk, had a bus station. She calculated the distance on the map, and it looked like it was about fifteen to twenty miles up the road. The morning felt crisp but not freezing, and the sky was clear. Twenty miles would take the whole day, but she felt good and she should be

8

Lavada Dee

able to make it without too much trouble. **** Galynn stumbled and fell to her hands and knees. The gravel on the side of the road bit into her palms, sending sharp pains up her arms. She bit her lip and tried to stop shaking. She was so cold. What had started out as a mild, sunny day had turned into a nightmare when an ice storm hit with a vengeance. It had been bad enough in daylight, but this time of the year it got dark early. Galynn tried to see ahead. The storm hid the heavens, and no moonlight lit the long, lonely road. She didn’t remember a night this dark. Struggling, she got to her feet. She shouldn’t be this weak. It had been five days since she’d left home. Home? What a laugh that was. The little house she’d lived in with her mother had ceased to be home the minute her mother had passed away. Well, maybe not right away. Mick had continued to play the caring sweetheart and husband for the first few months. Looking back, she had to wonder if he had always been violent and controlling or if the steroids she’d discovered him taking had changed him from a caring man into the monster she now knew him to be. Nancy, her best friend, thought it wasn’t that black-and-white. There wasn’t a before and after with Mick. Nancy had grown up with Mick, knew his family, and even admitted to being attracted to his classic, blond handsomeness. She’d been happy that Galynn had Mick to help her with her mother because he had always treated his own mother so well. She told her that Mick had always been moody, and except on the football field, she’d never seen him violent. It almost seemed like he had evolved into violence. No doubt the steroids contributed to his hair trigger that erupted into a physical assault at the least provocation. Whatever the reason, both women agreed that Galynn didn’t have a choice. If she stayed, he would no doubt end up killing her. Of course if he found her, he’d kill her, too. Still, she’d

Nothing to Lose

9

had nothing to lose that night four days ago when she’d run away from the only world that she knew. A branch broke off in the wind and sailed past Galynn, slashing her cheek. Tears burned her eyes, and she again stumbled. Instinctively, she tried to protect the palms of her hands and instead took the brunt of the fall on her knees. How much farther to go? It didn’t matter. She knew that she wasn’t going to get there. This morning it had seemed so easy. She had felt stronger, her back hurt, but as long as nothing rubbed against it, the pain wasn’t too bad. In fact, it felt better walking than it had when she’d been leaning against the bus seat. If only the weather hadn’t changed. If, if, if. She’d rest for a while then get up. With that thought she closed her eyes. Galynn groaned when the bright light bore down on her. Was this it? When people talked about near-death experiences they described a bright light. But did they hear a motor and a door slam? She didn’t think so. Go away. She was finally numb enough to feel warm. She wanted to stay that way. “Lady? Wake up, come on stay with me here.” Mick? He’d found her. Her heart started pounding so hard she could feel it in her throat, making it impossible to get the scream out. She pushed herself up and stumbled toward the woods. If she could get into them, she might be able to hide. Hands grabbed her waist, and white heat shot through her back when he pulled her against him. Her scream filled the night air. “No.” Then with nothing left, she whispered, “Please no.” **** One minute Cooper Blackhawk had a tiger in his arms, and the next, she’d passed out. When he’d crested the hill, his headlights had picked her up, but she’d looked like a pile of rags that someone might have thrown out on the road. If he’d been thinking, he’d have called 911 before he got out of the truck. But he hadn’t, and now the phone

10

Lavada Dee

was hanging on a hook on the dash of his truck and he was standing on the side of the road holding dead weight. She fought him, until he touched her back. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to know he needed to watch how he held her. Carefully, he laid her down on the road, rolling her so she wasn’t directly on her back. Almost immediately, her eyes opened and focused on his. This time, she saw him and not someone who made her crazy with fear. “Hi.” He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. The woman struggled into a sitting position and tried to get on her feet. She almost made it on her own when she grabbed air. Cooper immediately responded. “Whoa, take it easy. You’re hurt, and you feel like you’re running a fever. I’d guess at around a 101.” She shook her head. “Are you a doctor?” “No, but it doesn’t take one. You’re burning up.” Cooper stepped tentatively away. He needed to get to his phone but didn’t want to leave her for fear she’d fall, or worse, manage to get into the woods. “You’re a little rocky here. Let me take your arm, and I’ll help you to the truck. You can lean against it while I phone for an ambulance.” Again, her eyes widened. He knew fear when he saw it, and he would have said that she looked closer to terrified. Holding his hands up in a surrender position, Cooper tried to reassure her. “Okay, maybe it would be better if you sat back down on the ground.” “No, no ambulance. I’m okay. It can’t be that much farther to Blackhawk.” “Blackhawk? Is that where you’re going?” She nodded. With an ambulance not an immediate threat, she visibly relaxed a little. “Is it much farther?” “About a mile, maybe a little less. Do you know someone in Blackhawk?” “No, I’m just passing through. If I can check into a motel for a night, I’ll be fine by morning.” “I don’t think so…”

Nothing to Lose

11

She interrupted him. Her voice sounded stronger than he would have expected. “I’m not hurt, and I’m not going to a hospital.” With that said, she turned and started walking toward the truck. She’d gotten about six feet past it when she stumbled again. Cooper scooped her up before she could hit the ground. “Yeah, sure. You’re just fine. Look, lady, you aren’t going to make it a block, let alone a mile. I can’t leave you out on this road…” His voice trailed off. I should ignore her and call rescue. He wasn’t some knight in shining armor, that was for sure. Mumbling under his breath, he reached in his truck for his phone. That got her attention, and she again started down the road. “Hey!” He tried to soften his voice. He wasn’t going to get anywhere scaring her. “I’m just calling my brother. I hope he’s still at the clinic.” Holding up his index finger, he spoke into the phone. “You still at the clinic?” With relief, he listened as his brother told him he was and that his nurse was just getting into her coat. “I’m at my driveway, and there’s an injured woman on the road. She’s scared half to death and won’t let me call the medics.” He held the phone away from his ear as his brother lambasted him with reasons he needed to do what he already knew he should. Then, like he knew he would, his brother told him to come to the back door of the clinic. It took a few minutes to convince the woman to get in the truck, but finally they were on their way. He cranked the heat to high, but she still shivered. He would bet she had a high fever, and to make matters worse, she was soaking wet. She had on a hooded sweatshirt, and it looked like he could wring water from it. Her tennis shoes and the legs of her pants were in the same condition. He hoped her backpack was waterproof and there were dry clothes inside. She would need them. “Are you taking me to a motel?” She wasn’t slurring her words, but she shook so hard they were more of a stutter.

12

Lavada Dee

“No, I’m taking you to a doctor.” Turning, the woman grabbed the door handle, forcing the door open. Cooper made a grab for her and barely kept her in the truck. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Is this how you got hurt? Did you jump out of some guy’s truck when he tried to help you?” The door flapped open as he pulled over to the shoulder of the road. Stopping, he turned toward her. “Okay, go ahead. Get out! You’re about two hundred yards closer to town, but don’t kid yourself. You’re not going to make it.” Cooper gripped the steering wheel as he struggled to get his breathing under control. She had scared him more than he wanted to admit. A second of hesitation on his part and she would have been lying on the road again. By the looks of her, she wasn’t going to be able to sustain many more injuries. When she didn’t get out of the truck or make any attempt to close the door, he looked over at her. She was tiny. He’d guess maybe five feet five and way too thin. If she weighed more than a hundred and ten, he’d be surprised. But even in the condition she was in, and dripping wet, she looked beautiful, with long-lashed brown eyes and dark hair. Her head was bent, and she made no move to get out of the open door. It looked like she had run out of fuel. His voice sounded husky to his ears, and he resisted the overpowering urge to pull her into his arms to comfort her. “It’s going to be okay. My brother is a doctor, and he’ll take care of you at the clinic. You might have caught a break because the clinic is closed.” She nodded and swallowed with what looked like difficulty. Cautiously, Cooper reached across her and pulled the door shut. Pulling back on the road, he hoped she wasn’t hurt as bad as it appeared.

Nothing to Lose

13

Chapter 2 They made the rest of the trip to the clinic in silence. Cooper nervously watched her as he drove. If she passed out, he would change direction and go directly to the hospital emergency. As he pulled the truck up next to the back door of the clinic, it opened and his brother stepped out. Cooper threw the truck into park and reached the passenger door before Grant could open it. The woman hadn’t said a word or moved, but she was still conscious, thank heavens. “What’s the story, an automobile accident?” Grant asked. “I don’t think so. There were no skid marks where I found her, and the bruises on her face and neck look like they’re a few days old.” “Okay, Coop. Let’s get your lady into the clinic and see what we can do.” Cooper didn’t argue with Grant’s “your lady” as he opened the door. Unlike earlier, the woman let him help her out of the truck and meekly allowed herself to be showed into an examination room. Francis, Grant’s nurse, followed right behind them. Her tone conveyed she was a friend as she helped the woman onto the table. Turning to Cooper and Grant, she gave them the look that said, I’ve got it taken care of, and I’ll call you when she’s ready for you to examine her. Turning back to her patient, she said, “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.” She laid a gown on the examining table. “Can you manage, or do you need help?” “I think I can do it.” The woman toed off her shoes and Francis reached down to remove the soaked socks. “What’s your name?”

14

Lavada Dee

“Lynn. Lynn Moore.” Her mother had called her Lynn, and more often “Lyndie.” She’d never talked about her childhood to Mick, so when she bought the false identity, the name worked for one she shouldn’t have any trouble answering to. “Address?” “Uh, I’m just passing through. I don’t have an address right now.” “Okay, last address?” Galynn stopped trying to get her sweater off. She put her hand to her temple and massaged it. “Do you have a headache? I wouldn’t wonder if you do.” “Yes, but not too bad.” “Let’s skip the address for now since it isn’t current, anyway. How about age?” “I’m twenty-five. My birthday is May 16th.” The nurse went down a list of questions. “Do you smoke? Are you allergic to anything?” After a few minutes, she smiled and said, “Good. You’re doing great. Let me help you get into this dry gown, and I’ll take your blood pressure and temperature.” Galynn was glad for the nurse’s help when she tried to take off her T-shirt. The wound on her back hurt when she tried to pull it over her head. She knew it must have looked as bad as it felt when the nurse hesitated. “This will be easier if I get the scissors and cut it off.” Galynn bit her lip to keep from crying out as the nurse tried to ease the fabric away from the wound. Her voice shook. “It’s okay to cut it.” The shirt proved to be the worst of it, and a few minutes later she had everything off and the gown on. She’d wanted to keep her panties on, but the nurse had said “everything,” and it was more embarrassing to ask than to just do it. She knew that she’d been running a temperature for the last few hours. But when the nurse said it was almost 102, it surprised her. As would be expected, her blood pressure was also elevated. Francis

Nothing to Lose

15

patted her shoulder as she took the pressure cuff off. “It’s high, but the doctor will take care of you. Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.” Galynn didn’t think so. It would take a whole lot more than good health for everything to ever be okay again. **** Cooper sat across from his brother in his office as they waited for the nurse to finish with the woman. It wasn’t hard to see the two men were brothers. Cooper was seven years younger, but they looked enough alike to be twins. Grant played a pencil through his fingers, waiting for Cooper to say something. Finally exasperated, he pushed his chair back. “Okay, enough of the strong, silent, John Wayne scenario here. Who is she, and where did you find her?” “I don’t know who she is. Hell, I don’t even know her name. I was coming back from the mall job and was just about to my driveway when I saw her on the side of the road. At first I didn’t know the pile of clothes was a person. Just before I got to her, she managed to get to her feet and tried to get into the woods. When I grabbed her, she fought like a tiger, or I guess ‘tigress’ would be more appropriate.” “Who cares about the semantics? Tiger, tigress whatever, don’t muddy the waters. So was there anyone else around? Did you see a car or truck?” “No, there were no skid marks either. I thought maybe she might have been thrown out of a vehicle, but from what I could see from my headlights, the bruises look older, like maybe a few days. There’s one on her temple that looks new, but the others are turning a yellowish color.” “Well, we’ll know more after I take a look at her.” Grant stood up and came around his desk. When he got even with his brother, he bent down to emphasize what he was saying. “Remember, bro, this isn’t a puppy or kitten you’ve found. Don’t be thinking of taking her home.”

16

Lavada Dee

Cooper opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Grant held up a hand. “You think I’ve forgotten all the critters you’ve rescued and drug home? Not a chance. You’ve been bringing things home since you were old enough to walk.” Chuckling to himself at getting the last word in on his brother, he walked out of the room. Knocking, he entered and forced himself not to whistle. No, this lady is definitely not what Coop usually brings home. He forced himself back into professional mode, ignoring the big brown eyes that made a man want to protect and comfort. He didn’t envy his brother. He looked at the chart. Lynn Moore, passing through. Yep, things might heat before Ms. Moore healed enough to be on her way. He might be thinking a little premature here, but knowing his brother he didn’t think so. Noting the absence of a ring, he sat the chart down. “Ms. Moore, I’m Doctor Grant Blackhawk.” Her eyes widened. Strangers usually had a similar reaction to seeing the four brothers, though he and Coop looked more alike than the others. Ignoring her reaction, he felt for lumps in her throat and slowly moved around to her back. At the sight of the bruises and angry-looking wound, he fought to keep his voice even and professional. “You have a serious infection. How did it happen?” “I fell and landed on my back in some glass on the floor. I thought that I’d gotten it all out.” He gently probed the wound. “There are some good-sized pieces you didn’t get. It’s in a bad place for self-treating.” Grant came around so he could watch her reaction while he talked. “Usually if we see a patient in the shape you’re in, we do a complete physical workup.” She started to protest, and he interrupted. “I know if it weren’t for your back, you wouldn’t even be in here. So I’m going to treat your back, or I am after I’ve asked you some questions.” His voice softened, and he smiled, trying to help her through answering his questions. “Okay, here we go. First, I need you to tell

Nothing to Lose

17

me the truth. If you can’t, then decline to answer, but don’t lie to me. Can you do that?” Lynn nodded. He paused and dug out his best bedside manner to help her feel at ease with him. “These injuries weren’t caused by an accident. And I’ll bet if I were to X-ray, I’d find you’ve been in this shape before.” “Yes,” she whispered. “How long ago did this last incident happen?” “Five days ago.” “Do you have any blood in your urine or have you had any?” “I’m not sure. Maybe the first day, but only a little and only twice.” “Good, how about bowels? Any visible blood?” “No.” “Take a deep breath and hold it.” He watched her face. “Any pain?” “No.” “I want to run some tests. A urinalysis and some blood work. It will…” At her reaction, he stopped. She shook her head and started getting off the examining table. He stepped back to give her room. “Okay, you win. No tests, but you need to watch for blood, and if you start having pain urinating or if you feel dizzy, you need to get to a doctor.” He watched as she visibly relaxed. “Good, now let’s take a closer look at your back.” He instructed his nurse to lay out what he needed. Turning back to his patient, he said, “We’re going to open that wound. I’ll numb it, but it’s still going to be painful. I think that you’ll do better if you lay facedown on the table. Do you need for Francis to help you?” “No, I can do it.” ****

18

Lavada Dee

Galynn bit her lip against the pain. The doctor hadn’t been mistaken when he said it would hurt. Even with the numbing agent, she could feel him probing for glass. The relief was instantaneous when he pulled a piece out and the wound opened. “That’s it. The body is a wondrous machine. When a foreign object like a sliver or a piece of glass invades it, white cells form and try to expel the object. I know it didn’t feel like it, but the glass was close to the surface. Most of the pain occurred because I made sure there weren’t more pieces in the wound. The worst is over. I’ll put some antibiotic cream on and bandage it, and you’ll be done, except for a shot of penicillin. If you have dry clothes in your bag, put them on. If they’re wet, Francis can get you some scrubs to wear. After you’re dressed, come to my office.” Galynn traveled light and only had a few things in her backpack. The one change of clothes was damp, so she took Francis’s offer of scrubs, thankful that at least her panties were dry. After asking the way to doctor’s office, she headed out the door and ran straight into Cooper. Her heartbeat sped up, and she felt the blood rush to her face. She ducked her head to hide her blush and tried to keep her voice steady. “I can’t thank you enough for your help.” “Are you ready to go?” He stood silently, waiting for her answer. He looked like the doctor, but she’d never mistake him for his brother. His black hair made the blue of his eyes stand out. But it was more than just his physical appearance. He had an aura of kindness, but then, how could she judge? At one time she had thought Mick kind and caring. Look what that had gotten her. Still, there was something about this man. Hopefully he isn’t experiencing the same feelings about me. Not that it mattered. She’d be gone before either of them would act on it. “I have to see the doctor first.” She started down the hall but after only a few steps turned back. “Would you come with me?” When he caught up with her, she fought the urge to take his hand. She must be a basket case. She was too vulnerable. It would be better

Nothing to Lose

19

once she got rid of the fever and caught a little sleep. “After I talk with the doctor, could you drop me off at a motel?” Looking down at herself, she added, “I could call a taxi, but he might be a little reluctant to take me looking like this.” “No trouble, there’s one just up the road. It’s old but clean.” Grant was waiting for her and heard the conversation. “Not a good idea.” “What?” “You need to have someone keep an eye on you tonight, and you’re going to need help dressing that wound.” He handed her a bottle of pills and a tube of antibiotic cream. “I want you to take one in the morning and one late in the afternoon. I gave you an injection, so start these tomorrow. And take them all. A lot of people stop when they feel better, but they shouldn’t. Use the cream when you dress the wound, which you need to do every day. If you see any red streaks or if the redness doesn’t change, call me or get into a hospital. I can’t emphasize enough how serious this is.” He stopped and shook his head. “You’re not going to listen to me, are you?” “I am listening. I know this infection is serious, but I don’t have a lot of choices. I’ll do the best I can in treating the wound.” “Okay, but at least stay in town for a few days, come into the clinic, and have one of the nurses dress it for you.” Galynn again thanked him and walked out to reception to settle the bill, leaving the two brothers to no doubt discuss her. Cooper had left the truck parked outside the back entrance and helped her into it. He didn’t say anything until he pulled in front of Mabel’s Motel. He looped his wrists over the steering wheel and let the motor idle. The truck hadn’t had time to warm up on the short trip, but at least there was warm air coming out now. Turning, he looked over at Galynn. “Are you sure you want to do this? You know you’re going to have to go back to the clinic tomorrow and there will be all new staff for you to deal with.”

20

Lavada Dee

Galynn reached for the door. “Can I leave the plastic bag with my wet clothes and backpack with you until I get checked in? They may be a little reluctant to rent me a room as it is.” “I can go in with you. We’re a pretty small community, and everyone knows everyone else. If I vouch for you, you won’t have any problem getting a room.” He paused. “Still, you don’t want to draw attention to yourself, and if you check in here, the clerk will remember you.” She was so tired. It felt like the fever had broken. With an effort, she raised her head and met his gaze. “You’ve been nicer than I could have ever expected. First, picking a total stranger literally off the road, then taking me to your brother and staying with me.” “Like I said, this is a small town. People tend to take care of each other.” “But I’m not from around here, and I’m not going to be here long.” Cooper turned so he could look straight at her for what he had to say. “Look, let’s level with each other. You’re running from someone. A boyfriend, husband? It doesn’t matter. I can’t imagine why you didn’t go to the police, but if you can’t, then from the shape you’re in, you’re doing the right thing. Let me help you. I live just a few yards from where you were when you fell. The house is big, with four bedrooms and four baths. You can have all the privacy you need—” She interrupted him. “I can’t do that. What will your family say?” A smile lit up his face. “If they know you’re there at all, they’ll chalk it up to my need to rescue damsels and critters in distress…and you have to admit you’re pretty much in distress right now.” She knew she shouldn’t trust this man or any man, but again, what choice did she have? If only he was married. At the thought, she felt lost. Strange, she could almost reach out and touch this feeling between them. If only she didn’t feel so tired. “You’ve got that right. I guess I am in pretty much of a mess here. So, Mister Knight in Shining Armor, I hope you won’t be sorry, and I’ll honestly get out of

Nothing to Lose

21

your hair the minute my back heals enough that I won’t need help with it.” Her voice lowered. “I hope Mick doesn’t find me here, because if he does, he’ll not only kill me, he’ll kill you, too.” She hesitated a few seconds before going on. “I can’t tell you more, and I’ll understand if you want to take back your offer.” Cooper put the truck into reverse. “Nope, if you’ve been running for four or five days, I’d say he’d have to catch a miracle to find you, and he doesn’t sound like the type of guy miracles happen to.” Galynn shook her head. “You don’t know Mick.” **** It was only about a mile to his place, but with hot air flowing into the cab of the truck, Lynn fell asleep. Coop hit the door opener and pulled into the garage. When he turned off the truck, she whimpered in pain and shifted into a more comfortable position against the door. She looked so innocent and hurt. His heart skipped a couple of beats. Damn, he shouldn’t be feeling this way. His head had some sense. Now if only his body would listen. He got out of the truck and walked around the back to the passenger side. The wind was still blowing, and the rain had ice in it. He needed to put the garage door down and get her in the house. She was leaning against the truck door, and he opened it slowly to keep from scaring her. Still, she jolted awake. He sucked in his breath at the naked fear in her eyes. Keeping his voice low, he said, “You’re okay. You fell asleep. I’m sorry I frightened you. I probably should have tried to wake you up before I got out of the truck.” Her eyes focused, and he let out his breath in relief. He watched as she struggled with the seat belt. Awake, she seemed to trust him, so he took a chance and reached across her to unlatch it. The back door opened into a washroom, and he sat the bag of wet clothes on the washer. He handed the backpack to her. “We’ll leave

22

Lavada Dee

your wet things here and you can wash them tomorrow, but you might want to take what you’ll need out of your backpack first.” He left her and went in to see what he could round up for dinner. She’d been coming from the direction of Paxton, and there wasn’t much on the road but one little hamburger in–and-out place. She had to be as hungry as he was. Lucille, his housekeeper, had been in today and left a pot of stew for him. He turned the burner on under the pot and was measuring coffee when she came into the kitchen. When he looked up, she smiled at him, and again his body reacted. If she looked this beautiful now, how would she look when she was healthy and happy? He turned away from the stove. “Dinner will be ready in about five minutes. It might be a good idea for you to get a hot bath first. I don’t think a shower is a good idea because you’re going to have to be careful not to get your back wet. I’ll show you to your room. It has an adjoining bathroom.” “Thanks, a bath will feel really good.” An hour later, Lynn was all but falling asleep at the table. Cooper couldn’t help smiling at her valiant attempt to stay awake. Stating the obvious, he said, “You’re falling asleep. Why don’t we call it a night? I can give you a shirt to sleep in. Anything I have is going to fit you like a nightshirt, but I imagine anything you have in your backpack is at least damp.” “I think I’ll use these scrubs. They feel like pajamas. But first let me clean up the kitchen.” “No, not tonight. I’ll take care of it. You just get yourself into bed.” At his words, the air seemed to vibrate. He turned away so his body’s response wouldn’t be evident. Damn! This could be a long few days.

Nothing to Lose

23

Chapter 3 Galynn transferred the clothes from the washer to the dryer. When she’d come downstairs earlier, she had found the note Cooper Blackhawk had propped up by the coffeepot asking her to call him when she woke up. Ignoring his request, she’d put off making the call. The feelings she felt for him were new to her. He made her feel safe, which, under the circumstances, had to be bizarre to say the least. No man should make her feel safe, especially so soon after leaving Mick. And there was more, a sort of wanting or needing for something. Glancing at the wall clock, she was surprised to see it was almost eleven o’clock. What must he be thinking? She needed to make the call. His deep voice brought an image of the man over the lines. She could almost feel him. “Did you sleep well?” “Yes, thank you. I have been up for a little while, but thought I’d start the wash and…” “Good, make yourself at home. I’ll be back around one.” Galynn stared at the phone as the dial tone buzzed. It seemed Mr. Blackhawk was a man of few words. Memories of the night before were blurred, but one thing stood out, and that was how safe she’d felt with the man and his home. Slowly she made her way up the broad staircase, noting the graceful, warm lines of the house. It looked new, she’d guess less than a year old if that. Its size and lack of furnishings should have given it an imposing presence, but it didn’t. It took her over an hour to straighten her room, bathe, and dress. And, like the night before, the bath made her drowsy. Not wanting to be asleep when Cooper got home, she poured herself a cup of coffee and

24

Lavada Dee

opened the newspaper that he’d left out on the table. It didn’t have the same content as the paper in Atlanta, and she read the hometown news with relish. After reading the paper, she picked up the novel she’d bought at one of the bus stops. It felt a little damp, but not so much that it couldn’t be read. It wasn’t long before she got into the story. A stiff feeling across her shoulders alerted her to how long she’d been reading. She stretched and walked over to the kitchen window to look out. The snow came down in big, fluffy flakes, the storm making it look like twilight in the middle of the day. The clock verified that it was almost three o’clock. It looked like Cooper Blackhawk had miscalculated the time. She bit her lower lip. Should she try calling him? As she reached for the phone, she heard the garage door go up. A few minutes later he filled the door. With an apologetic grin on his face, he put down the packages that filled his arms. “Whew, it’s getting nasty out there.” “Getting?” Galynn’s voice sounded breathless even to her ears. “Guess ‘getting’ is the wrong word. Sorry if I startled you coming in without calling out. And I’m really sorry for being so late. I hate book work, and there’s a butt load of it right now.” Galynn turned and grabbed the coffeepot. “Let me make a fresh pot. Did you eat lunch? I would have made something if I’d had any idea…” He shook his head, interrupting her. “A good thing you didn’t have something for one o’clock, or you’d be fuming by now. I really am sorry. This isn’t like me, but you couldn’t know that.” Motioning toward the packages, he continued. “Anyway, I picked up a pizza and a few things at the drugstore. Let me get washed up, and we’ll take a look at your back before we eat.” “It’s okay. It can wait until after we eat.” At the doubtful look on his face, she added, “Really! It hasn’t bothered me all day.” “If you’re sure. I’ll only be a few minutes. You can go ahead and

Nothing to Lose

25

start if you want.” True to his word, it wasn’t long before they were sitting in front of the TV watching an all-day news program with plates of pizza. He wiped his hands on his napkin and looked over at Galynn. “So did you get some rest today?” She was surprised to hear herself laugh, it sounded light and almost musical. “You wouldn’t believe it. I didn’t get up until ten. I think I must be moving in slow motion because the day sort of melted away.” “That’s good.” The room fell silent. It wasn’t a comfortable silence. Galynn put her slice of pizza back on her plate. “I…” Swallowing what felt like a walnut, she tried again. “I’m sorry. I know having me here has to be messing up your life. You’re tired, and you went up to the store to get stuff for my back. And you probably would have gone to a restaurant if you hadn’t felt you needed to get me something to eat.” Cooper held up his hand and leaned forward. “Just a minute. First, I almost always get a pizza to go on Saturday nights. Stopping at the drugstore took all of ten minutes, and”—he drug his hand over his face—“it’s nice having you to eat and watch the news with.” He leaned back in the recliner, giving the impression that this subject was closed. Galynn watched as he took a big bite of pizza and picked up her own. “Thank you.” At his nod, she relaxed. “You said you worked in the office. Is it near here?” “At the end of the drive. I was heading there the other night when I saw you. If I would have been a few minutes earlier, I’d have missed you, but I would have had the office lights on, so you might have come on down for help.” She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I have been trying to keep a low profile, but with a sign of life, I probably would have figured I might be close to a town. So hopefully I’d have had the strength to

26

Lavada Dee

keep going.” Again, silence filled the room. Galynn knew she was lying to herself. She knew that she’d reached the end of her endurance. Looking up, she caught Cooper’s gaze. “Who am I trying to fool here? If you hadn’t found me, I would have frozen to death last night.” A tear escaped, and she swiped it away. She didn’t want Cooper to see her cry. Dropping his pizza back on his plate, he moved over and took her gently by the arms, turning her to face him. His voice pitched low. “We don’t know that. And we’re not going there. You made it against what looks like incredible odds. Now you need to rest and get completely well. Take the time you need to do that.” She nodded. “How will I ever repay you?” He laughed. “Well, if you know anything about computers…” She pulled back and looked at him. “I do. I worked in a real estate office while going to school. I set up a network and even developed a website. I know Word, Excel, and QuickBooks. I can learn any other software you have.” She broke off as she realized she was talking too fast. “Sorry, but I really can help you with the office work, and I’d love to do it.” “Whoa, you’re supposed to be recovering.” “I’ll do that better if I have something to do. Are you going to work in the office tomorrow?” “Yeah, but…” “Then I’ll go to work with you.” Galynn waited. When he didn’t say anything, she added, “Please, let me help.” “What the hell. Okay, but not until around noon. You can sleep in, and then we’ll run over to the mall and pick up some winter shoes and a coat.” “Thank you. You won’t be sorry.” ****

Nothing to Lose

27

The news was repeating itself by the time they’d finished their meal. Cooper already had second thoughts about her working in the office with him. There was a physical attraction between them that he wasn’t comfortable with, though he had to admit, he sort of liked it. He went out and poured a couple of cups of coffee and brought them back to the living room. “Here’s some fortification before we tackle that wound on your back. I’ll try to be as gentle as possible.” He’d brought the sack from the drugstore in with him and dug in it, pulling out a pair of furry slippers. “I should have given these to you when I first got in, but I forgot. Your feet have to be cold with only those socks to keep them warm.” They were a pastel green. Galynn ran her hands over them, and held them against her face. “They’re perfect and so soft. Thank you! Let me pay you for them.” “No way, they weren’t all that much, just ones in the drugstore.” “They’re priceless to me.” Her voice was little more than a whisper. What had her life been like? How long had she been with the guy that had done this to her? He wanted to ask her questions but held them back. Instead, he got up and motioned toward the kitchen. “We need to tend to your back. Probably be easier in the master bath, but if you’re more comfortable in the kitchen, we can do it there.” “No, the bath’s fine.” Coop grabbed one of the kitchen chairs, the sack his brother had given him, and the one he’d brought in. Handing the sacks to Galynn, he led the way into the bathroom. “If you straddle the chair and face the back, it will give me a clearer view and it will give you something to hang onto.” As an almost afterthought, he said, “Oh, and pull your sweatshirt off. You can hold it in front of you.” Galynn’s hands shook as she did what he instructed. He turned his back to lay the bandages and ointment out and give her some privacy. When he turned back, he sucked in his breath at the sight of the

28

Lavada Dee

bruises that literally covered her. They were in different phases of healing, attested to by the yellow, green, and dark-blue colors. He fought for control as overwhelming anger swept over him. Galynn closed her eyes. When she opened them, she met his gaze in the mirror over the bathroom sink. A flush suffused her face, and she quickly ducked her head. Cooper didn’t know where to put his hands. There wasn’t an inch that wasn’t covered in a bruise. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” He tried to curb his anger and temper his voice so it didn’t sound so harsh. When she flinched, he took her upper arms, and, careful not to make her lose her hold on the shirt she clutched in front of her, he pulled her up against his hard chest. Gently, he kissed her hair. Softening his voice, he whispered, repeating what he’d just said. “You have absolutely nothing to feel embarrassed about. Not with me.” Again his gaze met hers in the mirror. This time, he was the first to look away. Instant desire flooded through him. He wanted to turn her around so she was facing him. It was torture to be so close and yet not close enough. He needed to get control. Reluctantly, he moved back and reached for the bandage covering the wound. Trying to lighten the emotions whirling over him, he said, “Hold on, honey, this may hurt.” His hand trembled, and it wasn’t all with the effort of dressing the wound. “How does it look?” Her voice shook. “Actually, not as bad as I’d expected. It’s still red, but there isn’t any oozing around the wound.” He swabbed her back with the cleansing stuff his brother had given him and reapplied some antibiotic cream. With that done, he took the scissors he’d gotten from the drugstore and cut off a piece of bandage. She sat perfectly still, trusting him and touching a part of him he hadn’t known existed. He finished and turned back to the counter to again give her privacy. “All done. It’s pretty early yet. Want to see if there’s a movie on the television?” She made quick work of getting her shirt back on and turned to

Nothing to Lose

29

help him clean up the mess on the counter. “Sure, but don’t worry about entertaining me. What do you usually do on a Saturday night?” Coop watched as the pink crept into her cheeks and laughed. “Not what you’re thinking.” She was so transparent. It wasn’t hard to guess she’d been thinking that it was Saturday night, and he was single, and, well, what went with single and Saturday night. If possible, she turned a brighter pink. Cooper winked at her and resisted the urge to reach over and kiss her. Her lips were so close. He backed up, indicating for her to go ahead of him. When they reached the kitchen, he took a deep breath at the relief of being in the bigger room. By mutual agreement, they found a movie. It wasn’t long before Cooper fell asleep. At eleven, Galynn turned on the late news and woke him up. He came awake with a start and guiltily grinned at her. “Sorry, too much paperwork today. I can work all day on the job and come home feeling great, but an hour in the office and I’m toast.” They watched the news in compatible silence. When it ended, Galynn said a shy good night and moved toward the stairs while Cooper watched. The design of the house consisted of two master bedrooms. He used the one on the main floor. Tonight he wished he’d chosen the upstairs one, which would have been next to the guest room he had put her in. Reluctantly, he headed for the kitchen to set the coffeepot for morning.

30

Lavada Dee

Chapter 4 Galynn walked into the office and stopped short. Cooper hadn’t been exaggerating. She didn’t know what to say. It turned out that she didn’t have to say anything. He said it for her. “A mess, huh? Bet you thought I was kidding. Want to back out?” “Not on your life, but by the looks of things you could be stuck with me for the duration of the winter.” His laugh was contagious, and she joined him. The morning had been so normal. She’d slept in again, and by the time she’d gotten downstairs, he was ready to go. Not giving her time for even a cup of coffee, he grabbed one of his jackets for her and hurried her out to the truck. She’d been surprised to find it warm. He’d actually started and warmed the truck for her? Were there really men like him out in the world? First stop had been a little café where the waitress and few patrons greeted him like a regular and her with curiosity. She liked that it seemed he didn’t bring new women in with him on a regular basis, or at least not enough to have the patrons take it as the norm. After breakfast, they’d gone to the mall where Coop had patiently waited while she found just the right pair of shoes and a warm coat. The morning and now the shared laughter heightened her awareness of him. The way his eyes crinkled in the corners, his mouth. Her gaze locked on it now, and she drew in a breath. The room receded until there was only the two of them. Cooper closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Reaching for her jacket, he tried to lighten the mood. “Here, give this to me before you bolt for the door.” He held out his hand, and she shrugged out of the coat. His voice deepened when he turned back to her. “And for the

Nothing to Lose

31

record, I wouldn’t consider it ‘stuck’ to have you with me through all the seasons, fall, winter, spring, and summer.” Without giving her the chance to reply, he continued. “I’ll turn up the thermostat and get a pot of coffee going. Why don’t you tackle the desk and see if you can make any sense of it. But first let me give you a quick tour.” The office was a double-wide modular. They had parked on the side and walked along a full patio to enter through the utility room. Cooper gestured to the right. “I lived here while I built the house, and kept the washer and dryer. Probably should take them out and use the room for files.” The large kitchen had stainless-steel appliances and room for a long table that held piles of papers and boxes. The open floor plan made it possible to eliminate hallways that would have taken up square footage. When they went into what would have been a living room, Galynn could see it was being used as the main reception area. Cooper pointed to the large room to the left. “That’s my office. The main bath is to the right. What used to be the master bedroom and bath is on the other side. I’m not using it for office space right now. There’s a big sofa that I’ve fallen asleep on more times than I like to admit and a few pieces of furniture. Again, I should probably clean it out, and I will when I need more office space.” Turning, he headed back to the kitchen. Calling over his shoulder, he said, “So what do you think? Cancel that. I think I’d rather not know what you’re thinking right now.” Galynn laughed. “Actually, I’m impressed. This is really a nice layout. All you need is some help.” It didn’t take Galynn long to lose herself in the work. When she stopped and looked at the clock, she couldn’t believe the time. Almost three o’clock. Where had the day gone? Her back ached, a reminder of her injury. Getting up, she went into the kitchen and rinsed out a couple of the cleanest cups. She made a mental note to tackle the kitchen on Monday when Cooper wouldn’t be there to stop her.

32

Lavada Dee

She took one of the cups of coffee into Cooper’s office. Pausing at the door, she said, “About ready for a coffee break?” “You’re a lifesaver. What time is it anyway?” When he looked at the clock, he whistled. “I can’t believe it. Where did the time go?” “Well, you know what they say about how time flies when you’re having fun?” “Yeah, right.” He leaned back in his chair and took a drink of coffee. Letting out a sigh, he said, “Did you pour yourself a cup?” She nodded. “I left it out on the desk.” He stood up, motioning for the door. “Let’s get it and go into the other room where the sofa is. I need to shift positions, and you can use a break, too.” Cooper’s face showed surprise when he saw the neat piles of paper on the table she’d cleaned off. “Wow, you’ve made a big dent.” “It looks like about three month’s worth. I think I’ve figured out your last assistant’s filing system. I’m going to organize the bills and then go through your check register and mark the ones that have been paid and put the check number, date, and amount on them before filing them. That will leave only current invoices.” Cooper settled himself on one end of the sofa in what had been the master bedroom. There wasn’t a chair, so he gestured for her to take the opposite side. “By the way, you’re right about it being three months. Bev, my office manager, lost her husband a few years ago. They had one child, a daughter, who lives in Portland. Bev and her husband lived in Blackhawk as long as I can remember and all their friends are here, so after he died, she made the decision to stay here rather than move closer to her daughter. Three months ago things changed. Her daughter is pregnant with their third child and having a difficult time of it. With two preschool grandchildren, Bev felt she needed to go down and help. We both thought it would be a temporary thing, but a few days ago she called and said she’s planning on moving down there.” He waved his hand around. “I didn’t want to hire someone if she

Nothing to Lose

33

would be coming back, but now…well, with the business as crazy as it is, I know I need someone.” He grinned over at her. His voice held a hint of humor and something else, like hope. “So, want the job?” Galynn tensed and reflectively looked toward the door. Fear mingled with regret. If only. It was a rhetorical question, or at least she treated it that way by not answering. Instead, she picked up her cup and headed for the door. With a sigh, Cooper followed her. “You know, with you being here, the day has been the direct opposite from yesterday. We’ve gotten more accomplished together than I have alone in the past week. Now if only I could find that bill from Fisher Lumber, I’d be a happy man.” “I think I have most if not all their invoices sorted out. Which month do you need?” “Uh, maybe I should look at all of them. I can’t find a record of paying for that last shipment they delivered.” They finished the day around six o’clock. As they stepped out the door, Cooper took her arm. It had snowed most of the day, and over a foot of new snow covered the ground. When they reached the truck, Cooper helped her around to the passenger side. When she saw he intended to take the truck, she stopped. “Do you always drive the short way down to the house? I’d think it would be easier to walk.” “Yes, uh no. I mean, I usually do walk unless I have things in the truck like groceries, but it may be a little hard going for you.” “Well, we don’t have anything tonight. Everything we bought I’m wearing.” She paused, and again their gazes locked. Her voice lowered when she continued. “I’d rather walk down with you.” The intensity of their attraction eased, and her voice held laughter as she added, “I know you’re just afraid all the fresh air will give me a huge appetite.” “You’re on, lady. And if it gives you that kind of appetite, I may walk you up and down this hill ten times a day.” Laughing, they set out through the trees. The driveway looked like

34

Lavada Dee

a picture postcard. The road dipped, and when it crested, the lake came into view, completing the picture. Galynn sucked in her breath and stopped. All around, the trees were dressed in white. No track marred the road before them. It felt like they’d been transported to a pure, innocent place. A voice, even a whisper, would have felt like sacrilege. Cooper stood slightly behind her, sharing the moment in quiet harmony. By the time they reached the house, Galynn was freezing. It didn’t go unnoticed by Cooper. Taking her by the arm, he guided her to a kitchen chair. “Here, let me help you with these boots.” Kneeling down, he made fast work of getting them off, but then his fingers lingered at her ankle. She felt a shiver, and it wasn’t from the cold. Still, she tried to pass it off as such. “I guess my blood is still thin from living in a warmer state.” This was the first time Galynn had offered any information about herself, and when she realized what she’d said, she bit back saying anything more. Cooper set the thermostat up and went about getting the steaks out for dinner. Even though it had only been a couple days, Galynn felt comfortable, and together they got dinner done in record time. Like he'd done the day before, Cooper turned on the news and got out TV trays. Galynn didn’t mind, but it seemed strange until she gave it some thought. She’d bet Cooper hadn’t been in a live-in relationship, or if he had, it had been awhile. That he used the TV for company said a lot. She wanted to ask, but it seemed too personal. She stared at the TV and tried to gain some perspective so her emotions wouldn’t take over. She would only be here for a few days, a couple of weeks at the very most. It would be better if they didn’t get to know each other too well. Cooper finished off the last bite of steak. “Ummm this tasted good. I guess I was hungrier than I thought. I get to working and forget about eating.” Looking over at her, he added, “That’s got to

Nothing to Lose

35

change. I need to eat more often and so do you.” The moment played out in silence. His body language said he didn’t just want to just feed her. He wanted to take care of her in every way. She shifted in her seat. Warmth stole over her. And something more, something she’d never felt. He made her feel special, and pretty, and she wasn’t sure what. Mundane words spilled out. “I’m okay. I never usually eat breakfast.” Her hands shook when she raised the cup of coffee to her lips. “Want to talk about tomorrow? Is there anything specific you want me to do in the office?” Cooper’s smile said he knew what she was doing. He was way above average looking when he wasn’t smiling, but now he’d make any woman catch her breath. He was taller than Mick, she guessed him at just over six feet. Broad shoulders, hair the color of midnight, and a full, sensuous mouth completed the picture. Signature blue eyes were a bonus. Her gaze caught and held his. With a visible effort, Cooper picked up his plate and reached for hers. He was uncomfortably close when he answered her. “Anything you do will be a help.” “I’ll finish filing the paperwork. I have maybe another hour at the most, and it’ll be done. If it’s okay, I’ll log the accounts into the computer instead of the hand ledger you were using. I can format it so it will supplement the ledger but you won’t have to use the adding machine for totals.” They discussed the details of the office work while they cleaned up from dinner. Galynn wasn’t sure either of them would be able to maintain a distance if they lapsed into silence. It didn’t seem possible that she could be having these feelings for Cooper. After Mick, she should have been running for the nearest door. But then she’d never been attracted to Mick, or for that matter, any other boy or man. She attributed her lack of interest to not having a normal boy-girl relationship in her growing up years. Her mother’s health really took a downturn her sophomore year in high school. To help with the

36

Lavada Dee

finances, Galynn had worked after school and on weekends. As her mother’s pulmonary disease progressed, Galynn put in long hours with school, a job, and helping her mother. “A penny for your thoughts.” His easy manner made it clear to her that Cooper wasn’t having the same problem she was. Turning, she braced herself so she wouldn’t give away too much. “Just thinking back, nothing interesting.” “Oh, I don’t know.” He handed her a glass and kept hold of it when she reached for it. His gaze dropped to their hands, and his voice deepened. “I find you very interesting.” Just a touch and Galynn felt the heat. She swallowed and pulled the glass out of his hand. It might be early, but with things heating up like they were, it was late enough to call it a day and put some space between them. “Do you have time to do my back? I think I’ll turn in a little early tonight. Maybe read for a while.” **** It was still dark when Galynn woke up, but the clock on the nightstand said six thirty. She’d only managed a couple of chapters of her book before falling asleep. With a full night’s sleep, she felt rested. Sleep deprivation had been one of Mick’s tools to keep her what he called “in line.” With her mother so sick, it had been a couple of years since she’d gotten a full night’s sleep, so she’d conditioned herself to it. Or she thought she had, until Mick started waking her up during the night. He had been good with her mother, but almost as soon as she passed away, he started changing. Maybe he thought he would lose his hold on her. Who knew? He worked the graveyard shift, and since he was out in the car on patrol, he’d stop in at the house and wake her up. Sometimes it would only be for her to get him a glass of water. Sometimes he’d insist she make him something to eat. There were days at work that she felt more like a zombie than a

Nothing to Lose

37

third-grade teacher. When she had made a run for it, she’d spent most nights on a bus, only stopping once to throw him off her track. She’d stayed in a middle-class motel that was comfortable enough and even had a coffee shop, but she hadn’t slept well. That first night with Cooper had opened a new door for her. Here she felt safe, even cared for. She listened but didn’t hear anything. Cooper seemed to get up early and had probably already gone up to the office. He’d told her not to worry about the time and that eight would be plenty early enough to start but nine or ten would work, too. Maybe she’d run down and get a cup of coffee to drink while she got dressed and straightened her room. She had on a tank top and flannel short bottoms she liked to sleep in. Traveling light, she hadn’t packed a robe. Humming to herself, she entered the kitchen and stopped short. Cooper’s spoon paused just short of his mouth. Galynn’s voice was almost a whisper. “Huh, I thought that you’d already left. I…um didn’t. Uh, the house was really quiet.” The spoon clattered back into the bowl of cereal in front of him. He swallowed as his gaze took in the skimpy tank top. Was it the cool temperature that had her nipples exposed through the material? Galynn turned away and reached for the coffeepot. Neither one spoke. Silence filled the kitchen as Galynn filled her cup before fleeing the kitchen like something was chasing her.

38

Lavada Dee

Chapter 5 Galynn fussed around the house, hoping that by the time she got to the office Cooper would have left for the job. It was almost nine when she opened the door to male laughter. A huge guy held up the doorframe between the main office and Cooper’s. He turned toward the open door, and his eyes widened. He recovered quickly and gave her a smile that lit up his face. “Hi, I’m Gus.” Turning, he hollered, “Coop, you’ve got company.” Almost at once, four men and Cooper filed out his office. Galynn couldn’t believe that many men had managed to be in there. Gus moved closer to give them room. He seemed oblivious to his boss’s glare. Cooper moved across the room to Galynn’s side and introduced them all. He explained that the five men made up Blackhawk Construction. Speaking to the men, he went onto explain the office situation. “Bev’s intentions were to only be gone about three weeks, but she called Friday morning and said she would be making a permanent move.” He held up his hands. “I know we’ll all miss her, but she deserves retirement.” One of the guys laughed and said, “I knew something was different in here when we walked in. Now I see there isn’t a paper blizzard all over every flat surface.” The others joined in and good-naturedly kidded Coop. He took it, giving as much back. “Okay, okay. Have you goons ever thought why we don’t get help in here? You big lugs scare them all away.” There were mumbled sounds of agreement from the men. Gus

Nothing to Lose

39

spoke up, his voice full of hope. “So is Galynn going to take over the office?” “She’s helping out for now.” Looking down at her, he winked. “But I’m working on it.” The crew left almost right away. Cooper told them he’d be out to the job around noon, after he got some calls and other paperwork done. There was some teasing and offers to do the office work for him. When the door closed behind the men, the quiet seemed deafening. Cooper’s smile lit up his face. “So you’ve seen the mornings. We meet here. More or less just to touch base and pick up the work vans. At night when we come back they make short work of picking up their rigs and heading out.” His voice grew serious. “You’re one of us now, and we take care of our own. Do you really think anyone will get to you through that gang?” A shiver of fear, mixed with longing, raced through Galynn. If only she dared. She shook her head in resignation. “They look like wonderful guys, and they’re even more of reason why I can’t risk staying here.” She looked up meeting his gaze. “You don’t understand, Coop. I don’t think Mick is sane…” She hesitated. She hadn’t meant to say his name again. Her voice dropped, and she twisted her hands together. “I’m positive he’s taking steroids and they’re affecting his mind. He will kill me and anyone else that gets in his way. I had nothing to lose in leaving him, but you, your family, and friends do.” She fought the tears threatening to fall and again locked gazes with Cooper. “Please.” The one simple word said it all. Cooper was across the floor in a second, enveloping her in his arms. But she pulled out of his embrace and moved behind her desk. He held up his hands. “Okay, for now you’re safe, and we’ll let it go.” He turned to the kitchen. “How about a cup of coffee, and then I’ll let you get to work.” The morning passed in a blur after Coop went back into his office. Galynn finished comparing the invoices against the check register and

40

Lavada Dee

got everything filed or into a stack for Cooper to take care of. Before he left, he’d told her to run down to the house and get something for lunch. He gave her keys to the office and house with a slip of paper with his cell number on it. “Call if you have any questions or anything comes up. I’ll see you around five.” The office felt empty without him there. Galynn wasn’t hungry but knew it was important to be as physically healthy as possible when she set out on her own again. Cooper had it right. She needed to eat. **** The rest of the week followed Monday’s schedule. Galynn would get to the office just before or as the crew was leaving for the job. Sometimes Cooper went with them, but usually he had a couple of hours of office work to do first. On Wednesday they started something new, and Galynn found she liked it. Around noon they would walk back down to the house for lunch together. Given the cold weather and the extra time it took, it would have been more practical to pack a lunch. But with her tendency to become absorbed in what she was doing, the walk down to the house felt good and provided her with a much-needed break. Having company was an added bonus. Having his company made it even better. Today was Friday, just a week since Cooper had found her on the road. It seemed like so much longer. She had forgotten how good it felt to be rested. Nights no longer held terror for her, and she slept straight through to morning. To make it even better, she was dreaming, and they weren’t the nightmares she had become used to. If a certain beautiful man haunted them, so much the better. It made falling asleep something she increasingly looked forward to. Galynn had started automating the office. Deep in thought, she didn’t hear Cooper until he stood right next to her desk. At his voice, she jumped and held up her arms to fend off a blow. Cooper’s voice

Nothing to Lose

41

turned husky with emotion. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You’re going to ruin your eyes working in the dark like this.” She hadn’t realized it had gotten so late. The day had been sunny, and there hadn’t been a need to turn on the desk light earlier. Stretching, she didn’t think about how the fabric of her sweater showed the contours of her figure until she looked up and saw Cooper’s eyes. Her face heated up, and she quickly lowered her arms. Cooper didn’t move. She saw him take a deep breath and swallow. The muscles clenched low in her stomach, and she felt an unfamiliar pressure. Her eyes widened as her gaze lowered to his lips. Doors slamming jolted her back to reality. Reaching over, she snapped on her desk lamp. Cooper held his stance for a second longer, whispering, “Later,” as if it were a promise. Gus, as usual, was the first one through the door. Taking off his hat, he raked his hand through his hair. “Wow, I think it’s dropped twenty degrees in the last hour. Bet we’re in for a doozy of a storm tonight. What’s with Fridays anyway? The last couple have been stormy.” Ignoring Cooper, he leaned a hip on Galynn’s desk. “So, have any plans for tonight?” Gus was young, she guessed at a maybe a year older than her. But that was in chronological years, not in experience, where she had a good ten years on him. The other men had all gotten in from outside, and a few eyebrows rose. What could the kid be thinking? You didn’t ask a lady out with an audience. Galynn didn’t miss a beat and quickly defused Gus’s faux pas. “Plans, sure, everyone has plans for Fridays.” She winked at him to ease the rejection, and he rewarded her by a big grin that said he would try again. It didn’t take long for the men to file back out for home. Cooper had told her earlier that for the last couple of months they’d worked six and sometimes seven days to beat the weather and get the mall to the point where they could work inside. They would be busy all

42

Lavada Dee

winter, but they wouldn’t be under the pressure of earlier. With their workweek back to normal, the men could give into fatigue. They were obviously looking forward to a weekend off. “Let’s follow their example and get out of here. I still can hardly believe all you’ve gotten done.” Cooper pulled Galynn’s snow boots out of the closet. Galynn went about turning off the computer and rinsing out the coffeepot. By the time they stepped out the door, it had started snowing again. The first few nights, Cooper asked if she wanted to drive the truck down to the house, but she always declined and now he didn’t ask anymore. She loved the walk even when the wind was blowing and it felt like twenty degrees below freezing. Tonight there wasn’t any wind, and the snow came down in huge, fluffy flakes. As they crested the hill, the lake came into view and Galynn sucked in her breath at the sight. “I feel like I’m in a picture postcard.” Branches bent with the weight of snow, and the dock was a blur under a blanket of white. In unison, they both stopped as time stood still. Cooper moved behind Galynn and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back, resting her head against his chest. She knew she should pull away like she’d done before, but she couldn’t make herself move. This moment felt just too perfect. “We have to move, or they’ll find us frozen to this spot in the morning,” Cooper whispered as he moved his lips close to her neck. His words, even as quiet as they were, broke the trance, and together they moved down the drive. As they opened the door, the scent of dinner greeted them. Galynn had put a chicken in the CrockPot that morning, and within a half hour, chicken and noodles were on the table. Galynn enjoyed Cooper’s appetite. She’d gotten to where she hated to cook because nothing ever satisfied Mick. More often than not, it sparked a violent fight. Usually Cooper seemed to prefer eating in front of the TV while watching the news. Tonight he’d filled his plate from the stove as usual, but sat down at the kitchen table. Whether they were talking or

Nothing to Lose

43

quiet, there was a comfortable feeling to just being together. It would be hard to leave all this, and especially Cooper. Mentally, Galynn shook off the gloomy thoughts that leaving brought. They made small talk about the upcoming weekend. Coop wanted to take her over to his folks’, and she was resisting. “I’m not going to be here much longer. It’s better for everyone if I stay in the background.” Cooper finished eating and pushed back his chair to get up and pour a couple cups of coffee. Bringing them back to the table, he set one down in front of her but didn’t sit back down at the table. Instead, he leaned against the counter, casually crossing his legs at the ankles. “They want to meet you. And, I want it, too.” She rubbed her fingers against her forehead. This was so hard. She wanted to make Cooper happy, but going to his parents’? Not a good idea. She smiled up and him and said, “I’ll think about it.” He knew he’d won. She saw it in his quick smile. Darn the guy. They communicated like she’d never been able to with anyone else, ever. Pushing away from the counter, he said, “Come on, let’s get this kitchen cleaned up and catch the last of the news.” “You go ahead. I won’t take but a minute, and I’ll join you.” “Not on your life. It’ll take even less time with two of us.” Surprisingly, he was right. They worked in perfect tandem. Coop took a last swipe across the counter and then poured them fresh cups of coffee before heading for the living room. Snapping on the news, he sank down on the end of the sofa, leaving room for her to sit with him. She felt tempted, but at the last second, she chose the chair. By the time the news ended, Coop had fallen asleep. She switched over to one of her favorite programs. It wasn’t long before she could hear Coop’s breath deepen. Galynn listened as the sound of not quite a snore, but more of a sexy sigh escaped from his half-parted lips. Could it get any better than this? It was going to be hard to leave, but as sad as it made her feel, she knew she would have to start seriously thinking about it soon. She’d gotten his financial files on the

44

Lavada Dee

computer and into an accounting program, but there was still so much she could do. Monday, she promised herself. She’d wait until they were in the office, as it seemed things were less personal in a business environment. She’d make him listen this time. He visibly showed relief when he’d come back to the office or house after being gone. It seemed like he always half expected to find a thank you and good-bye note. She didn’t want to do that. Next week she’d borrow his car and get a suitcase and bus tickets. This was the last leg of her journey. When she got to Seattle, she’d use the last set of her forged identity papers to again be someone new. The program on the television was about death and someone who could speak with spirits. It wasn’t exactly uplifting, in fact it was downright depressing in her state of mind. But, then, it was so far into fantasy it didn’t begin to touch real life, so maybe not such a bad program after all. A commercial came on, and she gathered her cup with Coop’s and took them out to the kitchen. By the time she got back, he had woken up. He gave her a wink and that half grin she loved so much. “Sorry. Did I miss anything good?” “Nope, and this program that you love so much is almost over.” She was being facetious. Coop didn’t have the same taste in TV programs and teased her about the murder and mayhem shows like the CSI and detective ones she watched. The new one where the main guy was a genius and worked with the FBI was one of her favorites. He glanced at his watch. “Hmmm, about ten minutes, it looks like. Why don’t you finish it up, and I’ll go put out the stuff for your back.” They’d fallen into a routine in the last week. Galynn wasn’t wearing a bra because the wound would have been directly under it. With only a shirt, it made it easy to pull it over her head and hold it in front of her while Cooper dressed the wound. They’d found it was easier to do in his bathroom where they had better light. In the

Nothing to Lose

45

beginning, he looked for pieces of glass working its way out of the wound, but as it healed, he didn’t do that anymore. They could have done it in the kitchen now, but neither one of them had brought up the option. While Galynn got ready, Cooper, like he always did, turned to give her more privacy. He’d already laid out the antibiotic cream and the bandages. His hands were cool on her back as he gently worked the bandage off. He was always so careful, sometimes to the point that his touch actually felt like more of a tickle. Tonight she felt a tremor in his hands that hadn’t been there since the first night he’d dressed the wound. She tried to keep the worry out of her voice. “How’s it looking?” She hadn’t asked him this since the first night, and she felt him hesitate. His reaction worried her. Could he help her hold a hand mirror so she could see for herself? She didn’t want to go back to the clinic. She sucked in her breath, bracing herself for hearing the worst. She glanced up at the big mirror over the sink. He had his hands braced against the counter, and it looked like his eyes were closed. She could see him take a big breath and slowly let it out. “You’re scaring me. Does it look that bad?” He caught her gaze in the mirror and held it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s looking good. In fact, really good. The redness is gone, and it looks like all the infection is out of it. A few more days and we’ll probably be able to leave the bandage off and you can take a shower. You might be able to now, but I think we need to play it safe.” Galynn nodded. “Are you okay?” He mumbled. “Yeah.” He sounded embarrassed. “You don’t sound okay.” “It’s hard seeing what this guy did. It’s a wonder he didn’t kill you. How long were you married?” Galynn wasn’t sure what to say. The truth? Could she lie to him? No. She knew this was a turning point. The minute the words left her

46

Lavada Dee

mouth, things would change. “I’m not married.” Silence filled the bathroom, making it shrink. She felt him secure the bandage. His hands were surprisingly steady now. All that kept her from being naked from the waist up was the sweatshirt she held in front of her. If she turned, it wouldn’t be much of a barrier. His voice was thick with emotion. He again faced the counter, giving her some privacy to put her shirt on. “What made you stay with him? You couldn’t have loved him.” Funny he would question that she’d loved Mick. She’d never loved anyone except her mother. Until now, how could she have let herself fall in love this man? The timing couldn’t be worse. Cooper finished putting the stuff away and turned to face her. Again, their gazes locked. She felt herself swaying toward him. He opened his arms, and she walked into his embrace. His voice was muffled against her hair. “Talk to me.” “It’s a long story, and, looking at it from how you’ll hear it, not a pretty one.” He leaned back against the bathroom counter and spread his legs, pulling her in closer. “We’ve got all the time in the world.” All the time in world, leaning against a counter in the bathroom. She wanted to suggest they find someplace more comfortable, but she didn’t want to move. Cooper’s arms held warmth, safety, and something else she couldn’t quite define. Not moving from his embrace, she pulled her head back so she could look up at him. Her voice surprised her when it came out low but strong. “I met Mick one night when I had to call 911 for my mother. He was one of the officers who responded.” She told him about her mother’s disease and how both of them had worked so she could go to college. “I wanted to quit school and get a full-time job, but it upset Mom so much, I didn’t. She was adamant that I have an education and not end up with a minimum-wage job like she had.” Galynn stopped. Could she tell him about Mick? His hands circled her waist as he bent and brushed his lips across

Nothing to Lose

47

her forehead. “And Mick?” “Do you really want to hear this? It’s so…ugly. And embarrassing.” “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I want to be a part of this with you. I want to…” He hesitated before prompting her to continue. “You said you aren’t married?” “No, Mick wanted to marry me and help with mother, but he was already married.” “Where was his wife?” “She left him and took their little girl. The story he told me made me feel really sorry for him.” She pulled away from Cooper. “It’s hard to understand how good he is at conning people. He even has his folks fooled, but they love him. I still don’t know how I could have been so stupid.” Cooper hadn’t moved. When she pulled away from him, he dropped his arms and let her go. She needed to put a little distance between them and headed toward the door. “Let’s get some more coffee.” He nodded and followed her into the kitchen where he took down a couple of cups. “Have a seat.” He motioned for her to sit at the table with him. She took a sip of coffee from the cup he handed her. This was so hard. Cooper wasn’t forcing her to do anything. She could say good night and go to bed. Again, his voice prompted her to continue. She couldn’t look at him. Her voice surprised her. She thought it would be hard to get the words out, but when she started, they seemed to flow with a will of their own. “The house only had two bedrooms, but with our shifts, we shared my room. On weekends, I used the sofa. Even as weak as she had gotten, Mom would have never agreed to us sleeping together. Mick was getting tired, he wasn’t getting nearly enough sleep, but he still treated mother well. After about three weeks, he said he wanted to talk to me about our living arrangement. He’d never made any

48

Lavada Dee

move that told me he wanted more than a friendship.” Galynn raked her hands through her hair. “I…ummm, really didn’t know. I thought he wanted me for a friend. I didn’t…” Cooper reached over and took both her hands in his. Her eyes focused on their clasped hands. She took a breath and started telling him the story again. “He explained how men had needs. That a big part of being so tired was that he wasn’t sleeping.” She could feel her face burning, but she stumbled on. “He said we should get someone to come in and take care of mother for a couple of days and go off together. When we got back, we’d tell everyone we were married. Then when he got the divorce, we’d just go out of the area and make it legal.” **** Cooper knew he should call a halt. Galynn had turned as white as a sheet. With an oath, he stood up, not thinking that his body language would scare her to death. Surprisingly, it didn’t, and she stood up and walked straight into his arms. He could smell her unique scent and felt his body tighten in response. Again, his gaze met hers and held until he pulled it away. He lowered his mouth to feast on her lips, which were full and soft. When she swallowed and moistened them with the tip of her tongue, a groan escaped him and he lowered his mouth to hers. She stiffened but didn’t pull back. He put a little more pressure on her lips and felt them soften and part. He’d heard about fireworks, but this felt more like drowning in warm honey. He savored her taste as he moved his tongue along the line of her lips. She moved closer, pushing her softness into his arousal, melting against him. The lights dimmed and everything turned surreal. One minute he was slowly savoring her lips, and the next he had deepened the kiss until their tongues were mating and he could hear her breathing speed up to match his. He was shaking when he finally

Nothing to Lose

49

managed to pull himself away. She made a mewing sound and reached back up to him. He tried to get words out, but only a low groan escaped him. Putting his hands over hers where they were wound around his neck, he pulled them around in front and held them against his chest. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his mouth to kiss the palm of her hand. Her voice hissed out. “That feels so good. So…” “Help me here, honey. I don’t want to hurt or scare you, and I’m having a devil of a time getting myself under control.” Galynn shook her head. “It’s okay.” She traced the line of his lips with her finger. “It’s more than okay. I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never felt so, so…I don’t know how to explain it.” Coop closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. “Have you been with a man other than Mick?” She wound her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest. “No. With mom being so sick, after schoolwork, and well, just everything, I didn’t date at all.” “No prom?” “No, no prom, no movies.” She pulled back and looked up at him. “Hey, don’t go feeling sorry for me. It wasn’t so bad. Mom and I never fought. I didn’t have curfew or anything like the other girls talked about.” “You are amazing, do you know that? Seeing what you’ve been through…” He pulled her tighter and rested his chin against the top of her head. Breathing in, he closed his eyes, trying to gain control of the overpowering attraction washing over him. “I don’t think you understand. Mick was never a…uh…like, boyfriend. He didn’t like to be touched. He never kissed me on the lips. In the beginning, he’d kiss my cheek. When he explained to me about the needs men had, it was just…” Her voice was so low he had to bend closer to hear it. “Like a physical release for him. He said that all that romance stuff in movies and books wasn’t real and that if a guy did do that sort

50

Lavada Dee

of thing, it was only to get what he really wanted.” “But you didn’t believe him?” “I didn’t really believe or not believe. The…it was always painful, so I tried to just, uh, like go someplace else.” Cooper swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “How did you get past something like this?” Did she think that this foreplay was all that would happen with them? His voice turned husky with emotion when he finally managed to get it to work. “How do you feel about what’s happening for us?” He didn’t stop to think that she didn’t feel the same physical attraction. He knew she did. She drew back and smiled up at him. “Ah, Coop. I don’t think at all when you kiss me. I only feel, and it just isn’t in the same universe as any experience I’ve had before.” He let out his breath in a huge sigh of relief. “Honey, like I said before, you’re incredible, absolutely incredible. And you make me feel ten feet tall.” A door slammed, and Coop dropped his arms so Galynn could step away. “Sounds like we have company.” No sooner had the words left his mouth than Grant pushed through the door. “Hey, bro, don’t you ever knock?” “Nope, and I come bearing gifts, so you’d better be nice to me.” He handed Cooper a pie. “Peach. Mom thought you might be in need of something sweet.” He looked over at Galynn and winked. “But then, little does she know.” “Knock it off. You embarrass her and I’m going to have to hurt you.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Galynn shook her head, laughing. “You two make me wish more than ever I’d had a sister or brother.” Turning, she started out of the room. “I’m going to turn in for the night. See you in the morning.” Cooper’s eyes followed her with a look of longing. Grant cleared his throat. “So how’s it going? I should have offered to look at her back, sorry.”

Nothing to Lose

51

Coop pulled open the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers. Normally he’d have headed for the TV with Grant, but if Galynn came back downstairs she’d hear anything they said. The kitchen would be safer because he had no doubt where the conversation would be heading. Grant had that look that said he had questions. He popped the top on his beer and took that first, long pull. “No need to look at her back. It’s almost healed. I almost left the bandage off tonight so she could take a shower.” Grant joined his brother at the kitchen table. If he thought it strange they were sitting in the kitchen instead of in front of the TV like they usually did, he didn’t mention it. “That’s good. So why don’t you sound happy?” Coop picked at the label on his beer. When he finally looked up, he had a frown on his face. “I’m glad her back and other injuries are healing so fast.” “So?” “She’s planning to move on.” “And you don’t want her to, right? Well, talk to her. You have a job for her. One you really need filled, or isn’t she working out in the office?” “Oh yeah, she’s working out. The guys love her, one, Gus, a little too much. And she’s done wonders with the work. A few more weeks and she could have everything on the computer.” “So talk to her, man.” “I’ve tried, but she evades the conversation. Changes the subject or just says she has to leave.” “Has she said anything about what happened to her? I’m guessing domestic, and more guessing here. A husband.” Coop wasn’t comfortable discussing what Galynn had told him with Grant. “Not a husband but an abusive, extremely abusive relationship.” He held up his hands. “Hey, she just opened up tonight. In fact, just before you got here. I don’t want to break her confidence.” His voice dropped, and he felt his face flush. Thankfully

52

Lavada Dee

his dark skin kept it from being noticeable. “I’m falling in love with her. And I think she feels the same, but there’s too much baggage. I’m not sure we can get around it.” Grant toyed with his beer. “Life can be a bitch sometimes.” The room fell silent as the two brothers sat at the table and let the emotions play down. Coop broke the silence. Picking up his beer, he motioned to the living room. “Come on. Let’s catch the end of the game.”

Nothing to Lose

53

Chapter 6 It was almost midnight before Grant got up to leave. At the door, he hesitated. “So what are you going to do about what’s going on with you and Galynn? Your mind hasn’t been on the game tonight.” Cooper shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m sort of hanging on by my thumbs here. It’s all virgin territory because I’ve never felt anything like what I’m feeling for her. Lust, sure, but this is more than physical.” Grant slapped him across the back and reached for the doorknob. “Do you think she feels anything as intense?” “Yeah, I do. At least I’m almost positive she feels the same, and we…Well, ‘intense’ is a pretty lame word to describe the emotions running rampant. I…” Grant spoke a little fast to stop his brother from saying anything more. “Okay, I get the picture. I was going to say talk to her, but maybe it’d be better to let nature, and, uh, emotions take their natural course.” The thought of another restless night gave Cooper the incentive to want to talk. “I don’t want to do anything to hurt her. She’s been through hell.” Again, Grant reached out to Cooper. “Let her lead.” He shook his head and a soft chuckle escaped as he opened the door. When he reached the steps, he turned back. “Damn, I don’t know whether to envy you or feel sorry for you.” Cooper watched as his brother backed his pickup around to head out the drive. When Grant’s taillights topped the slight incline, he sighed and closed the door. He could hear the muffled sound of the

54

Lavada Dee

TV they’d left on. He wasn’t a bit sleepy. Heading to the den, he decided to get onto Facebook and play around a little with an online game. It had been almost two months since he’d done more than check out his messages and comments. The diversion would be good. **** A dull ache in his back brought him back to the real world. What time was it, anyway? Stretching, he arched his back. Rubbing his arms, he realized he wasn’t only stiff. He was cold. The thermostat’s setting went on the night temperature at midnight. It shouldn’t be this cold. Turning off the computer, he glanced at the time. Two a.m.? Damn, he knew better. He could easily lose track of time when he played that darn computer game. Mumbling, he swore he would set a timer next time he logged on. Coffee wasn’t a good idea, but what the heck, how much worse could the night get? He poured a cup from the cold pot and put it in the microwave to heat. While he waited, he looked out the window at the outside thermometer. Good grief, it read almost a minus. No wonder it felt cold. Even with the furnace going, the cold crept into the house. Galynn probably needed an extra blanket. There were extras in the closet, but he knew from experience a person didn’t always come awake enough to get up and put one on the bed. After deliberating the pros and cons, he made his way upstairs. But, still unsure, he stood outside her door. What if she woke up and he scared her? Instead of getting her an extra blanket, he could turn up the furnace. He turned to go back downstairs. When he turned, the door moved a fraction. It hadn’t been fully closed. He put his hand on the edge and quietly pushed it farther open. He wasn’t surprised to see her curled into a ball. She had to be cold. His voice sounded loud even though it was only a whisper. “Galynn? It’s me. Don’t be scared. I just want to get you an extra

Nothing to Lose

55

blanket.” She sat up so fast it startled him. “Whoa, you’re okay. It’s gotten really cold outside. I came up to see if you’re warm enough.” “Coop?” Her voice sounded shaky. She reached up and snapped on the bedside lamp. He sucked in his breath. Her hair was tousled like she’d wrestled with the pillow before falling asleep or as he imagined it would look if she woke up from his bed, his arms. She looked so beautiful. He felt himself harden and cursed his lack of control. She pulled back the covers and swung her feet out of bed. “What’s the matter? You look like…” He wasn’t surprised she couldn’t put words to it. “I’m fine, just a little chilled. I was on the computer and didn’t realize the temperature had dropped. Get back in bed so you’ll stay warm.” Slowly, she relaxed and slid her feet back under the covers, but she didn’t lie back down. He crossed the room and took a blanket off the shelf. In a few minutes he had it spread over the bed. She was still sitting up, watching him. “Lay down and I’ll tuck you in. I can’t pull this blanket up around your shoulders with you sitting up like this.” He’d purposely kept his eyes on the bed. If he looked at her, and saw the same want and need he felt, he knew he’d be lost. His heart skipped a beat when, with a sigh, she snuggled under the covers. He pulled the extra blanket around her shoulders. Still keeping his gaze averted, he said, “Sleep well.” He turned off the lamp and left her room as if something was at his heels. At the door, he heard her whisper another “Thank you.” It wasn’t with relief he made his way back down the stairs and turned off the TV. So if he wasn’t feeling relief, what did he feel? He poured a glass of water he really didn’t want and took it back into the living room. He felt restless and knew he should be in bed. Instead, he crossed the room to stare out the French doors. He rested his forehead against the glass. The doors were insulated with storm doors, so he hadn’t felt he needed heavy drapes to conserve heat. He

56

Lavada Dee

had wanted them to stay bare so he’d have an unobstructed view of the lake. Tonight, everything seemed cold, colder than it should have. He wished it were any other time of year so he could get out and walk to clear his head and get his emotions in check. Mentally, he added the wish for a different season to the growing list of unattainable wishes that were piling up. Galynn needed to offer some resistance, fear, or even repulsion. Heaven only knew, she had every reason to abhor any man’s touch. But it didn’t seem as if she compared this Mick and what he’d done to what she felt now. And he had no doubt she could feel the physical attraction between them much as he could. He drew back from the door. He needed to get some sleep. Being this tired made it harder to get control, and he knew it was up to him to rein in what was happening between them. It would be hard enough when she left. If he let this go to the next level, it would kill him. He caught the slight movement in his peripheral view. As if his thoughts had conjured up her image, she moved down a step of the stairs. In seconds, she had his full attention. How could any woman look so sexy in oversized sweats? His gaze swept over her and focused on her bare feet. His voice failed, and he cleared his throat. “You’re going to be sick running around with nothing on your feet. What did you think I got the slippers for?” He’d tried to sound gruff, but it didn’t come out that way. He might have just as well been telling her how much he wanted her by the way he sounded. “I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d get some cocoa.” Cooper looked down at his glass. It’d probably taste better than what he was drinking. Maybe he’d join her but, instead of cocoa, he’d have a hot buttered rum. He hoped he still had some in the cupboard. One cup couldn’t possible lower his control any more than it already was. With a nod, he moved toward the kitchen. Her bare feet shouldn’t have been making a sound, but he could hear her behind him. Or maybe not. Maybe he felt her more than heard her. Holding his breath, he focused on putting more distance between them because

Nothing to Lose

57

now he was picking up her scent. Distinctly hers, it smelled fresh and clean, not floral, but close. They never got as far as the stove to start the drinks. At the door to the kitchen, Cooper turned and pulled her into his arms. “Lynn, you’re driving me crazy. I…” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Galynn.” What had she said? Not “stop.” Her actions denied that. “What?” His voice was muffled as he claimed her mouth. She pulled back and smiled up at him. “My name. It’s not Lynn. It’s Galynn. It’s pronounced Gail Lynn. It’s unusual, so I wasn’t planning to ever use it again, but I don’t want anything that isn’t true between us. We have so little now, but we do have honesty.” Cooper closed his eyes, and the intense hunger banked. “Thank you. Thank you for trusting me.” He opened his eyes and gazed into hers. “I don’t know what’s happening. I know it’s too soon…” She reached up and traced his lips with her fingertips. “You deserve so much more than me, Coop. You deserve someone who isn’t damaged, who has a lifetime to love you. You make me…” “What? Tell me, honey. What do I make you feel?” “Oh, Coop, you make me feel warm, safe and lo…” She hid her face against his chest. “…cared for.” He kissed her fingers. “That wasn’t what you were going to say.” He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head. “Say it,” he whispered. “Say what you started to say. Loved, right? Oh, honey, you feel loved because even though I know I’m moving too fast, I love you. So much it scares me. If you leave, you’re going to be taking a part of me with you.” Tears gathered in her eyes and silently ran down her cheeks. “I love you, too. I love you, and need you in ways I don’t understand.” Silence stretched between them as they let her words flow over them. Holding his gaze, she whispered, “We have so little time. I can’t forget yesterday. Because of my past, I know there isn’t going to be a tomorrow. All we have is now.”

58

Lavada Dee

His voice was whiskey rough. “Are you sure?” She nodded and again reached up, this time wrapping her arms around his neck. She pressed her soft body into his hard one. When she didn’t pull away from the feel of his arousal, he pulled her leg up to his hip, pushing closer. Her body answered his. He took a deep breath. His whole body felt tight and hard. “Say it again. Say you love me.” She kissed along his jaw. “I love you. You have my heart.” Taking the initiative, she kissed him. When his lips parted, she deepened the kiss, touching her tongue to his. He growled a response and slid his hands into the waist of her sweatpants. Cupping her, he lifted and felt her legs encircle his waist. “Too many clothes,” he breathed. She was so light it took nothing to walk with her to his bed. He reached over and turned on the lamp. When she protested the light, he said, “Shh. I want to see you. I want to watch you when…” Her eyes shone with unshed tears. He gathered her up in his arms and laid her across the bed. “What? Tell me. Do you want to stop? We don’t have to do this.” She shook her head. “I want…I’m not sure what I want, but I know I don’t want to stop. I…” She was scaring him. “Honey, you have to tell me. If you cry, you’re going to kill me. You know, I’ll never hurt you.” She reached up and gently cupped his jaw. “It’s not you. You deserve so much more. You deserve someone who is perfect. In the dark, you won’t be able to see them.” “See what?” Silent tears escaped and ran out the corner of her eyes. He kissed them away. “Are you talking about the bruises and maybe scars? She nodded. “I feel so ugly.” He shook his head. “You’re beautiful and more than I deserve. You’re everything a man wants.” He didn’t want to say anything that would make her think of

Nothing to Lose

59

sexual activity with Mick, but he had to make sure. If this went much further, he wasn’t positive he could rein in the passion that flared between them. Taking a deep breath, he held her tight against him. “I don’t want to hurt you. It’s impossible for me to know fully what you’ve been through. When people say they understand, they don’t, they can’t, unless they’ve been there themselves. Knowing what I do know, I’m amazed that you respond to me like you do. That you trust me, that you can love me.” Galynn reached up and lightly kissed his lips. “I trust you. There simply is nothing with you that even remotely relates to being with Mick. With you, I’ll have beautiful memories, gentleness, caring, and…” She looked up at him and smiled. “Passion. With you, I’ll replace all the ugly experiences with beauty.” “Stay with me, then. We’ll have more than memories. We’ll have a lifetime. I want you forever. This isn’t just about the physical for me.” He lightly kissed her. “Though it’s nice, better than nice. I’d say…ummm, let me see.” She punched his shoulder. “Let you see? Nice?” Laughing, they reached for each other. When he ran his hand under her T-shirt and found her breast, she let her breath out in a low moan. He gently moved his hand over her breast. She wasn’t very big but perfectly proportioned. Kissing along her jaw, he breathed in her scent. She rose up to help him remove her shirt. Free, he moved his lips over her breast, finding its tip. His lips settled over it, suckling. Her answered moan tore into him, and he growled in response. “I’m not sure this is going to last as long as I want it to. You’re driving me over the edge faster than I can hang on.” For an answer, she wound her hands in his hair and pulled him closer. Her words came out low and sexy. “Show me what to do. I want you to feel as good as I do.” Moving again to her mouth, he deepened the kiss. In seconds they had all but his pants off. Her eyes widened. “You’re beautiful.”

60

Lavada Dee

“Men aren’t beautiful.” His voice sounded husky. “Just a minute, honey, let me stand up and get out of these pants.” Quickly, he reached for his belt buckle. They were so tight he would have sworn they were shrinking. At her gasp, he stopped. Fear! It radiated from her. Her eyes were wide and riveted to his belt. In that second he understood. How could he have been so stupid? He had seen the deep bruising slashes that were going to take a long time to fade. The deeper ones in the shape of the buckle. He dropped his hands and knelt on the bed taking her in his arms. “Shh, it’s okay. See? I’m not touching the belt.” She was shaking so hard he could hear her teeth chattering. She finally bit down on her lip, but that only made it worse. He gently traced his fingers across her lips. “Open your mouth. You’re going to bite through your lips.” When she didn’t respond, he pulled her tight against him and rocked her back and forth. Finally, with a shudder, she went limp.

Nothing to Lose

61

Chapter 7 Galynn tasted blood in her mouth. She didn’t want to look at Cooper and see the frustration and anger in his face. What man wouldn’t be mad at a woman who’d let things go as far as she had and then freaked out? His body wasn’t showing signs of anger. He gently held her, whispering words of love. She drew in a shaky breath, and braced herself for his reaction when he realized she had herself back in control. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I could have let that happen.” “Shh, you don’t have anything to apologize for. If I’d taken time to really see your injuries…” His voice shook. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry.” Galynn closed her eyes. She shuddered, remembering how Mick had used his belt. The last few weeks she’d been with him, he’d had trouble getting and keeping an erection. She knew it was the pills he was taking but didn’t dare say anything. One night in a fit of rage, he’d taken off his belt and beaten her with it. It had excited him to a point he became acutely aroused. After that, it was his answer to his problem. She could hear him saying, “See what you make me do.” Then he’d call her filthy names while he did what he called “perform.” At the last, the beatings had become so severe that when he reached for his belt she’d almost pass out. When she shuddered again, Cooper kissed her brow. “Honey, try to relax. I’ve got you, and nothing is going to hurt you.” He gently moved her away from him and reached down to get her sleeping shirt and pants. “Here, put these on so you don’t get cold.”

62

Lavada Dee

She kept her head down, not wanting to look at him. She could imagine how the sight of her probably sickened him. When she finished, she moved toward the door. Cooper swung his legs out of bed. “Whoa, where are you going?” She bit her lip, not wanting to cry in front of him. “To my room.” A soft sob escaped. “Aw, honey, come on back to bed. We can talk about it.” At the look on her face, he added. “Or not.” “You want me to sleep here? With you?” “I’m not going to be able to sleep if you don’t. Come on. We’ve already got the bed warm.” Galynn hesitated. She wanted to stay with Coop more than anything. She raised her head and gazed into his eyes, where all she saw was gentle, loving concern. When he held out his hand, she put hers in the palm of his and allowed him pull her back to bed. It felt so right to cuddle down against him and rest her head on his chest. He stroked the hair off her forehead and bent to kiss along her hairline. The intense physical need of minutes ago had disappeared. She closed her eyes and felt the day recede. The last thing she heard was Cooper’s whispered words. “Sleep, little one, you’ve been awake too long. You need to sleep.” Morning was creeping through the window. Galynn didn’t want to move. She was still snuggled against Coop’s chest where she could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. She hadn’t thought she could possibly fall into such a deep sleep. Hopefully Coop had followed right behind her and not lain awake. She pulled away a little so she could look at him. In sleep he looked relaxed, and his full lips were more prominent. He was so beautiful, maybe a guy would be handsome, but he was more, and only the word “beautiful” fully described him. If only, but she dared not think about staying. It was too dangerous. If Mick found her, he’d kill her and anyone close to her. She couldn’t. Wouldn’t risk it.

Nothing to Lose

63

She snuggled back down and, unbelievably, went back to sleep. This time she woke up to a cool breeze when Coop pulled off the covers. “Come on, woman. The day is wasting away.” His eyes twinkled. Apparently he was enjoying this. “Oh yeah.” She threw her pillow at him. Seconds later, they were tussling over the bed. After getting in a really good blow, Galynn held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I give.” Coop laughed as he backed off. “Where I come from, that’s called cheating.” “Yeah, from where I come from, it’s called strategic maneuvers.” Coop held out his hand and pulled her off the bed and on her feet. His laugh died in his throat when he looked down at her. “Run up and get dressed while I fix us something to eat.” As she started for the door, he called after her. “Oh, and pack an overnight case. Just as insurance for if we don’t make it home tonight.” At his words she stopped. “Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise. Go on, and I’ll tell you when you come back down for breakfast.” True to his word, Coop dished up scrambled eggs with bacon and poured her a cup of coffee. “Now, you want to know where we’re going? You don’t want me to surprise you?” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a surprise, the good kind. She looked up at Cooper and knew he could see right through her. “I guess I want both. I want to anticipate where we’re going, but I love surprises.” “Okay, how about I tell you and let the beauty of where we’re going be the surprise.” Her face lit up. “Oh, I like that idea.” “Okay, but you have to keep eating. It’s going to be a full day, and I want to stop off at the folks’ for a minute before we set off.” He finished his breakfast and took his empty plate to the sink. While he rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher, he told her he intended to show her a piece of Montana. “We’re going to drive around Flathead Lake.

64

Lavada Dee

It’s a beautiful drive, and depending on the time, we’ll stop in Kalispell for the night.” Galynn smiled. “I’m going to love today. I feel like a little kid on vacation.” “Have you traveled much, like to maybe Disney World?” “I haven’t been out of Atlanta until now. I know Disney World is close. Mom and I always planned to go, but somehow we never made it.” She picked up her empty plate and put it in the sink. Before she started rinsing it, she reached up and kissed him lightly on the lips. He took the plate from her. “Any more of that and we may get a later start than I’d planned.” Less than a half hour later, Galynn handed Cooper her backpack and watched as he put it beside the small case he’d packed. Now that they were ready to go, she felt nervous. Not about the trip, but about stopping at his folks’. She thought about asking him to go without her and pick her up at the office. That way he wouldn’t have to drive back down to the house. As if he could read her mind, he gave her a look that said, “Don’t ask.” Cooper’s parents had a place just up the lake from his. If they walked out on his dock they would be able to see it, but with the stormy weather, he hadn’t had the chance to take Galynn down to the lake yet. Like his, their drive was long and wooded. As the house came into view, Galynn held her breath. It was older and more seasoned than Cooper’s, but had the same rustic style that blended into its setting with wide porches all the way around, or at least as far as she could see. “This is beautiful. Not as big as yours, but it’s perfect. Did you grow up here?” “No, the family homestead used to be where the lodge is now. My great-grandfather built it and just added on as the family grew. Some of the original timbers are in the lodge. Mom and Dad moved into this one when I graduated and went off to college.”

Nothing to Lose

65

“And you’re the baby, right?” His body language said he didn’t like the reference to being the baby, but his voice held a hint of a smile. “Baby? I’m the youngest.” How could she feel so comfortable with this man? Teasing and joking when she’d never had experience in this kind of interaction. She felt a tender jolt in the region of her heart and pushed the thought of leaving away. She had an idea she would know what true loneliness felt like in the weeks, months, and even years to come. He seemed to sense her feelings, if not the reason, and turned, making eye contact. “What? Honey, don’t worry. My folks are good people. You’ll love them.” He reached over and stroked his fingers down her cheek. “Trust me. I meant what I said. I love you. So much that they’ll know and love you, too.” Her voice trembled with feeling. “It wasn’t that. I was just thinking how lucky I am to be with you.” She wasn’t being honest. She didn’t want him to know she’d been thinking of how empty her life would be without him. Coop reached down to brush his lips across hers. “I think there might be more and you’re not telling me. We’ll pick this up later.” Almost as soon as he turned off the motor, the door to the house opened and a little brown and white dog flew off the porch. She didn’t bark but made excited little squealing sounds. She couldn’t seem to get close enough, fast enough. Coop laughed and bent down to greet the little dog. “Meet our Abigail, Abby for short. I’d pick her up, but experience, and believe me we’ve had a lot of it, says to go slow until she settles down. She gets so excited she piddles. Not nice when you’re holding her.” As soon as Abby had made sure she got all the pats and loves possible from Cooper, she switched to Galynn, who scooted down and held out her arms. “You’re adorable.” Abby seemed to agree and, with all the exuberance in her little body, claimed Galynn as one of “her people.”

66

Lavada Dee

Galynn glanced up to see they weren’t alone. A couple who could only be Cooper’s parents came out on the porch. They both smiled in greeting, and his mother came down the steps to give him a hug and kiss. Cooper responded and stepped to the side, pulling Galynn in front of him. “I’d like you to meet my parents, Lydia and Collin. Mom and Dad, this is Galynn. Someone very special to me.” Galynn wasn’t sure what to do. Should she hold out her hand? She didn’t have to worry. Cooper’s mother reached over and took both her hands in her own. Gently steering her toward the open door behind them, she made Galynn feel instantly welcome. “Come in. It’s freezing out here. Of course Abby is oblivious to the weather when one of her favorite people shows up.” Cooper’s dad laughed, and at once Galynn recognized that his son not only looked like him, he sounded like him. Coop was almost the same size with the same coloring except for his blue eyes, which came from his mother. Coop would look just like his father someday. Lydia motioned them all forward. “We were just having second cups of coffee.” Cooper interrupted her. “We can’t stay. I just wanted to let you know we are going be gone all day and probably won’t get back until sometime tomorrow. We’re going to take a run around Flathead Lake. I want to show Galynn some of the country.” His mother gave him the look that brooked no argument. “You have time for one quick cup. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen you.” “I know. First I was trying to get that mall job to a point where we could be inside before the weather hit, and then I got buried in that office mess.” He held up his hands. “You know that Bev isn’t coming back, don’t you?” “No, we hadn’t heard. The grandkids?” His mother smiled. “I can certainly understand her wanting to be closer.” Her voice held just a trace of censure, and Cooper’s dad held up his hand. “Lydia!”

Nothing to Lose

67

With mock giving in, she poured Coop and Galynn coffee. Under her breath she said, “Well, you can’t blame a wannabe grandmother for trying.” Coop laughed. “She’s been angling for years about babies and getting old and…” Lydia winked over at Galynn. “I won’t scare you off, will I?” She wagged her finger at Coop. “And if you aren’t careful, I’ll drag out all those old photo albums.” Coop rolled his eyes, promising to not say another word. Laughter and fun brightened the kitchen. Coop’s dad told him about the property he was interested in, and Cooper promise to go into Missoula on the way back and take a look at it. Glancing down at his watch, he gave a groan. “We’ve been here for over an hour. We have to get going, or it’s going to be dark before we clear Blackhawk. Cooper’s dad handed him a set of keys. “Here, you’ll need these. Be sure and look at the floors, they’re beauts.” With hugs and promises to not make it so long between visits, Cooper and Galynn finally made it to the car and within minutes were heading out the drive. Galynn settled back in the seat and a comfortable silence filled the SUV. The weather was cooperating. It was crisp and cold, but the sunshine was out. Cooper finally broke the silence. “You’re awfully quiet.” “I was just thinking how lucky you are.” Cooper didn’t try to act like he didn’t know what she was talking about. “I know having three brothers is…well, pretty great. The only thing missing in our family”—he held up his hand—“and I know my brothers and I didn’t miss it, was a girl. Mom wanted so much to have a daughter, and none of us have provided her one through marriage, which also has eliminated a granddaughter.” “I have to admit, I’m surprised that none of you are married. Coming from such a close family, I’d think it would be hard to live by yourselves.”

68

Lavada Dee

Cooper seemed to think this through. “Never thought about it. But now that you bring it up, maybe we’re like wolves or bald eagles that mate for life. Maybe we just haven’t found the mate we know is for us yet.” He looked over and a grin played across his lips. “Or maybe one of us has and just hasn’t been able to convince the other party.” Galynn laughed. “You are so full of it, Mr. Blackhawk. Wolf indeed.” “Hey, from what I’ve heard, only about three percent of the four thousand mammal species are monogamous.” He stopped and waggled his brows. “…and Homo sapiens isn’t one of them.” “So you’re saying you think the Blackhawk family is the exception?” Cooper’s voice turned serious. “I’m saying, for me, it’s for life.” He paused, and his voice dropped to a whisper. “If you leave, you’re going to take my heart with you.” Galynn swallowed the lump in her throat and averted her head to look out at the beautiful countryside. It wasn’t an issue of “if” but of “when.” She had to leave. Staying simply wasn’t an option, and she might take a part of him with her, but she’d be leaving a huge part of herself behind, too. Turning back to look over at Cooper, she worked to lighten her voice. “Tell me about your family. I’ve met Dr. Blackhawk. I know he’s older than you, but where does he fall in the family?” “Yeah, I’m the youngest and you already know all about me.” “Are you kidding, I could spend a lifetime and not know all about you.’” Catching what she’d said, she quickly added, “So who’s the oldest?” “Actually Grant, Dr. Blackhawk. He’s thirty-six. He was pretty close to getting married once. He had just finished medical school and was starting his internship. So it’s been awhile. He doesn’t talk about it. Ever.” “Keep going, who’s the second oldest?”

Nothing to Lose

69

“That would be Tyrell. He’s the only one of us that doesn’t live in Blackhawk. Sometimes we wonder if he will ever come home. He shows up unexpectedly, like at Christmas. Stays a few days and is off again.” “Does his job entail a lot of travel?” “He joined the military after two years of college, and it wasn’t long before he entered a Special Forces unit. Of all of us, he’s more the loner. Plus, he’s more physical. We all played sports in school, but Tyrell excelled at them. They still have his jersey and pictures in the display case at the high school. He’s probably where he needs to be, but none of us like it. Mom and Dad hate it.” “How old is Tyrell?” Cooper paused to think. “Umm, Tyrell is going to be thirty-four in a couple of months. There’s only two years between him and Grant. Devon is closer in age to me. He’s thirty-one. He manages the lodge, but his true love is being a geek.” “Geek?” “Yep, geek, like as in computer nerd, but you wouldn’t know it to look at him. He hides it well, but he escapes over to his cabin across the lake almost every day to write software programs, mostly games that he sells for horrendous prices.” Galynn’s eyes crinkled at the edges as she laughed over at Cooper. She was so enjoying this drive. Even though they spent a lot of time together between the office and home, they hadn’t spent time just talking and getting to know each other. For one thing, they both fought the overwhelming physical attraction, or at least they had, until last night. Galynn’s thoughts drifted back, her pulse pounded in her throat, and she felt uncomfortably warm. She pulled at the seat belt, fidgeting with instant arousal. Coop, tuned into her as usual, noticed her discomfort but interpreted it wrong, thinking she needed to make a pit stop. “There’s a small state park just up the road. We’ll stop and take a break.”

70

Lavada Dee

She nodded that she heard him and turned back to their conversation to ward off the emotions she was feeling. “Were you closest with Devon?” “Not more than with Tyrell. Growing up, he was my hero. I thought there wasn’t anything he couldn’t do. Guess I still do, because last night just before I fell asleep, I was wishing he was here. He’d know what to do. And with his contacts…” Galynn sat up straighter. This wasn’t the kind of thing she wanted Cooper to talk about, let alone think. Mick was dangerous, even more so now that she had left him. Galynn had thought all this out before she had decided to leave. She knew that even if she did stay, there wasn’t anything she could do to help him. She’d tried talking to Mick’s mother, but if she suspected anything, she was in denial. All his mother had done was make excuses about the stress of his job. She’d even gone to the police, but they’d protected their own, telling her she needed to be more understanding. She needed to respond to Cooper saying that his brother could help, but she didn’t know what to say. Thankfully it was a moot point, as Tyrell wasn’t around. Cooper slowed the SUV. “Look, over to the right.” Three deer were grazing close to the tree line. She sucked in her breath at their beauty. In unison, they raised their heads and looked straight at them. Then with a fluid grace, they bounded into the trees. She let out her breath, not realizing she’d been holding it. “That was incredible. I love Montana. It’s so…” Galynn couldn’t find words. The car filled with a poignant, almost liquid silence, and she struggled to define her feelings. She looked over at Cooper and couldn’t pull her eyes away. Bad idea. But she hadn’t consciously done it. If she’d been thinking, she’d have looked anywhere else but at him. She could hear his breathing pick up. Was his heart beating as hard as hers? His hands tightened on the wheel, bringing the muscles in his forearms up. Her gaze played down his

Nothing to Lose

71

arms and over his hands. She bit her lip. She remembered how it felt to have him touch her. Strong, yet his touch was gentle. She swallowed the noise that was threatening to escape. He didn’t do as well and almost growled as he found the entrance to the park he’d mentioned stopping at. The restrooms were further back into the park, but it only took a few seconds to get there. In one motion, he turned off the SUV and reached for her. Raising her mouth to his, she melted into him. With a groan, he took it and deepened the kiss until their tongues were coupling in a mating dance. His hands roamed over her back, finding the edge of her sweater. They were shaking as he moved around, caressing her breasts. She moaned, not breaking the kiss, and tasted his scent. He trailed his mouth over her jaw and into her neck. Galynn was past thinking. All her senses were concentrated on feeling. Shock jolted through her when he abruptly pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. He fought to gain control, his breath heaving in time to hers. “This isn’t right. You deserve better than in the front seat of a car.” Galynn closed her eyes, trying to quiet her pulse rate down. “Wow!” she managed to get out. Cooper pulled away and kissed her forehead. “Wow is right.” He swung the door open and reached in the back for his overnight kit. “While I’m back here, do you want a soda?” “Yeah, but I need to use the bathroom first. Give them to me, and I’ll put them in the cup holders for when we get back.” On the surface, things seemed to have gotten quickly back to normal, but they were anything but. She fought to keep her eyes off Cooper, barely noticing what he was doing. **** Coop grumbled to himself as he made his way to the bathroom. He’d never lost control like he’d just done. Even going through adolescence, he’d never disgraced his self like this. At least I had the

72

Lavada Dee

sense to pack extra shorts. He didn’t remember ever wanting anything as much as he wanted, no, needed her. Galynn was at the car when Coop came out. He didn’t look at her as he stowed the bag away. As soon as they got back out on the highway, she popped the top on one of the sodas and handed it to him. “Thanks, uh, back there. I’m…” She interrupted him. “If you’re going to apologize for making me feel more alive than I’ve ever been, don’t.” Her voice told him to back off. He was no fool. He looked over at her and smiled. “Have I told you today that I love you?” She quipped back, “No, and it’s already”—she broke off to look at her watch—“almost noon.” “We’ll be at the lake in about an hour. Can you hold off for lunch that long?” “Lunch, Coop, we just ate breakfast. I’m going to be as big as a barn if you keep feeding me.” He took his eyes off the road for a second and let his eyes roam over her. Not smart, the tension in the car again moved up a notch. She was so unaware of how beautiful she was. She was pocket sized but so perfectly proportioned she could be a model. Her hair was thick and not red but more of a rich mahogany. Her eyes were the color between brandy and chocolate. Coop bit back a groan and reached over to turn on the radio. “If you’d rather, you can slip in a CD. There’s a case in the console.” Country western sent its soothing tone out of the speakers. It looked like Galynn enjoyed it. He knew he did. Maybe it was an acquired taste like avocado. She smiled over at him, telling him as much, and his heart picked up a beat. “Looks like we’re going to have to go dancing. You haven’t danced till you’ve done it to country.” “I haven’t done it, period.” Coop looked over, feigning shock. “Not danced? Lady, you don’t know what you’ve been missing.” He licked his forefinger and held it

Nothing to Lose

73

up. “Note to self. Go dancing with this beautiful, desirable, sexy…better stop here or we’re going to be looking for another park.” She laughed at his antics. They both relaxed as music filled the car and Montana rolled by outside the window. It was almost six o’clock by the time they rolled into Kalispell. The weather had stayed sunny but cold all day. They’d stopped, as Coop had promised, when they got to the lake. Supposedly for lunch, but Galynn had cheated and had homemade chocolate pie and hot chocolate. Coop had teased her about being wired with chocolate but seemed to enjoy her eating it as much as she did. She told him he was spoiling her, and he said he hoped so. His voice had lowered when he said, “You need to be spoiled.” His eyes said he was enjoying doing it. The drive up the lake had been breathtakingly beautiful, and they’d pulled into nearly every turnout. Sometime they’d get out and stretch their legs. It was cold, and Coop used that as an excuse to pull her tight against him. Not that he needed one. Every time they stopped, her body gravitated toward his.

74

Lavada Dee

Chapter 8 Cooper slowed down and turned into a rustic lodge. “Here we are. I’ll bet you’re starved after that lunch you ate.” Galynn opened her door to frigid air. Dark came early this time of year, and with it, the temperature had to have dropped twenty or more degrees. “I don’t know about starved, but a hot cup of something is going to taste pretty good by the time we get in the door.” Cooper laughed. “Does this mean we’re not going to go snowmobile riding?” He was kidding, neither of them was dressed for anything like that, but she went along with it. “Sure, I’ll sit right behind you so you can keep me warm.” They laughed and joked their way up the steps and into the lodge where Galynn stopped short. High ceilings made the room look huge and showed off the upper balcony. It was made of logs, with massive furniture complementing its size. “This is beautiful, Coop. Is Blackhawk Lodge like this?” “I think it’s better, bigger, and, instead of just a mountain view, it has the lake in the forefront. It’s also a lot newer. Of course I might be a little biased. When we get back, I’ll take you over there for dinner, and we’ll go check the family suite out.” He winked at her. After fast showers, they headed down for dinner. Again, Galynn was astonished over the rustic beauty of the lodge. The massive dining room had a fire burning in a fireplace that took up a quarter of the wall. Windows filled the other side of the room. It was too dark to see anything outside but Cooper promised they’d see it at breakfast.

Nothing to Lose

75

Galynn at first refused a dinner drink, but after Cooper described a margarita, she decided to try one. When it came, she cautiously sipped it. “Umm, this is good. I like the salt around the edges. What did you call it?” Cooper’s smile was golden. “A margarita, I can’t believe you’ve never had one.” She ducked her head. He had to think she was a real dork, but she’d never gone out much with her mother, and when they did, the medications her mother took prevented her from drinking anything with liquor. She hadn’t thought much about it until now, but Mick never took her out except to his folks’. She smiled over at him. “Life was different. I know you can’t understand. How could you?” Cooper reached over the table and took her hand. “I’m sorry. I certainly didn’t mean it as a criticism.” Changing the subject, he picked up his menu. “So, what looks good to you?” They studied the entrées, Galynn finally selecting the petite steak and Cooper the prime rib. After the waitress left with their order, silence settled over them like a blanket. This time, it wasn’t all that comfortable. Cooper’s voice sounded low and husky as he broke it. “Really, honey, I’m sorry. I was just making conversation, which I should know better than to do.” Galynn smiled over at him. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I didn’t take it as criticism or a put-down. It was just that hearing you say it made me think of all that I’ve missed out on, and, worse, not even realizing I’d missed anything. There are so many things I haven’t done.” She held up her hand, counting on her fingers. “Like dancing, and amusement parks or fairs, and…” She stopped and looked over at him. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I guess I have some catching up to do.” He held her gaze with his own. His voice dropped to match hers. “It will be fun to show you all those things and more.” Cooper opened up a new thread of conversation. “So, on the way down we talked, but mostly about me. Now it’s your turn.”

76

Lavada Dee

Galynn shook her head. She didn’t want Cooper to know about her life. Before Mick, there wasn’t much to say, and after Mick…there wasn’t anything she wanted to say. She loved hearing about the Blackhawk family. It felt like living vicariously in a world she’d only dreamed about. When she didn’t answer, he made another attempt to get her talking. “Did you always want to be a teacher?” Galynn felt herself relax. She was comfortable talking about this subject. “No, I never wanted to be a teacher.” At his puzzled look, she quickly continued. “I know this will seem strange to you. My mother always wanted to teach. She never made it to college and swore she’d do everything she could so I could go.” Her voice dropped. “And she did. In return, I went for a degree in education for her. She looked over at Cooper. He listened to her like he really cared, like he really wanted to know her. “I’m so glad I did. From the first minute of the first day, I fell in love with teaching. So far I’ve only taught third grade, and the kids at that age are perfect.” Cooper laughed. “Perfect? I’m not sure I can visualize a room full of what? Nine-year-olds? That’s your definition of perfect?” She laughed back at him. “Oh, but they are. Well, maybe perfect, in their imperfect selves. They’re inquisitive, honest, funny…” Cooper held up his hands in mock defense. “Okay, okay. I can see how your enjoyment of teaching would make your mother very happy.” Once started, Galynn told him more about her mother, about how much fun she was. She told him that although they didn’t have lot of money, they were rich in other ways. When their salads were served, Galynn stopped in midsentence. She couldn’t believe how much she’d told Cooper. “I…I’m sorry. You should have stopped me.” “Stopped you? It wasn’t all that easy to get you to relax and share your life with me. But I’m so very glad you did. Now I can see you as a little girl. I can see you before life got really tough, and how all the

Nothing to Lose

77

good and bad has shaped you into the courageous, compassionate woman you are.” **** Dinner over, Cooper looked at his watch. It wasn’t late, but neither of them had gotten much sleep the night before. He wasn’t tired. However, he needed to think of Galynn. He took her arm as they left the dining room and walked up the grand staircase together. Her skin felt soft. His body tightened. She had to be exhausted, and he wanted everything to be perfect. He could wait. He had to wait. When they got back to the room, Cooper went over and stood by the French doors. If it were summer, they could have taken a walk and maybe had drinks out on the balcony. He promised himself that they’d come back. He wasn’t going to think about her leaving him. He felt her before she wrapped her arms around him. He sucked in his breath. She wasn’t making this easy. He put his hands over hers and closed his eyes. He could feel her breath when she pressed her cheek into his back and snuggled closer. The softness of her breasts made him bite back a groan. Her voice was little more than a whisper. “What’s wrong, Cooper? Did I say too much? Have you changed your mind about us?” In one motion, he turned and pulled her into his arms. Trembling, he rested his chin on her head. “Nothing’s wrong. In fact, it’s so damn perfect it’s unreal. You can’t know how much your trust in talking to me tonight means to me.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “But you don’t want me. It’s okay. After what I did last night, I understand.” “Oh, honey, it goes a lot deeper than wanting you. But this isn’t just about making love. It’s about trust. I don’t want to take a chance that I’ll hurt you. Or that I won’t be enough or give you enough.”

78

Lavada Dee

“I trust you, and you’re more than enough for any woman, but I know I’m not the type of woman you’re used to being with.” Her voice caught. “Besides, you’re no doubt tired. You did all the driving, and we really didn’t get to bed very early last night.” His voice sounded gruff even to his ears. “I like to drive, and I— am—not—tired.” He strung the words out, trying to lighten up. He heard her muffled laugh into his shirt. Picking her up, he laughed with her until she turned her face up to his, and he saw in her eyes what he knew was in his. “Are you sure?” He could hardly get the words out. Galynn pulled his head down to hers and told him yes without words. She applied what she’d learned from him the other night and deepened the kiss. The sound he made gave her a feeling of power. Without fear, she felt free, and with the confidence of a woman who knew she was desired, she struggled out of his arms to stand in front of him. Without breaking the kiss, she ran her hands up under his sweater and played her thumbs across his nipples. This was too much. He wasn’t going to make it to the bed, let alone inside her, if he didn’t get control. He stepped back and tried to quiet his rapid breathing. His gaze sought hers. “Be sure. If not, you’re going to have to help me stop.” She nodded and again reached for him, but he stepped back so he had room to get out his clothes. The pants in particular were strangling him. “You want me to undress you?” She didn’t break eye contact. “Do you want to?” “I want…” He ground out the words. “I want everything. I want to be strong. I want to be gentle. I'm scared.” He closed his eyes. “I’m scared I won’t be able to give you even a little bit of what you’re bringing to me.” Galynn held his gaze and quickly undressed. She sensed his urgency and wasn’t going to add a slow strip tease to the already unbearable emotional atmosphere of the room. She left a wisp of a bra

Nothing to Lose

79

and panties on. She’d read somewhere that they added more sexual tension than if she were naked. With a groan, he reached for her. **** She told him she took birth control pills and that she never forgot. That was the last conscious thought he had before pure emotion took over. She was ready for him, and he sensed she was beyond thinking as much as he was. Again, he thanked fate that he didn’t have to worry about protection. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to even find a condom in his pocket, let alone get it on. Without breaking contact, he walked her backward to the bed. Never had a bed been so welcome. Stretching out beside her, he palmed her through the thin wisp of fabric. She arched up into his hand, and he felt the moist heat of her arousal. He trailed his mouth down her neck to her breast. Using his tongue, he traced through the material and around the extended nipple. When he felt her tremble, he looked down in time to see the wonder on her face. He’d bet anything that this was her first orgasm, and it made him feel, well, the only words he could dredge up from a mind that wasn’t working were it made him feel. In seconds, the remaining clothes were gone. Coop moved over her and slowly pushed into heaven. He’d always prided himself on his size, but now he had concerns. She was so tiny. What if…He’d hardly formed the thought when it turned into a moot point. She shifted, sheathing his full length. When he moved, she was with him. Opening up, she drew him deeper. He let his breath and voice mingle with hers. Just when he knew he couldn’t hang on another second, he felt the contractions and moisture of her release. He rolled to the side, keeping her in his arms. Reaching up, he smoothed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead. “I

80

Lavada Dee

didn’t know it could be like this.” He smiled down at her. “You’re mine, and no matter what the future brings, you always will be.” A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye, and he brushed it away with his fingertip. “Hey, what’s with this? Tears? ” Galynn rose up and leaned over to kiss him gently on the lips. Their passion was spent, and in its place was a feeling of completeness and peace. “This is joy. It was so beautiful that only tears can express how I feel.” “How we feel.” With a sigh of contentment, Galynn snuggled up against his chest. Cooper tried to stay awake but, when he heard her even breathing, gave a sigh of contentment and gave up the day. **** Galynn slowly opened her eyes. The gray of early morning lit the room. Cooper was still asleep, and she shifted to see him better. His full lips were slightly parted. Long, dark lashes fanned his cheeks. He looked—there was no other word for it—beautiful. The clock on the bedside table read seven o’clock. Cooper wanted to stop in Missoula on the way home to look at the property for his dad. Should she wake him up? He took the choice out of her hands when he slowly opened his eyes, seemingly as reluctant as she was to move out of this warm cocoon of intimacy. His saucy wink had her smiling. “Did you sleep well, love?” She answered him with a smile and quick kiss, but he was having none of that. He pulled her hard against him, deepening the kiss until she was again beyond thought. In seconds, they went from slow and lazy to touching and tasting, with an intensity that bordered on insanity. Cooper’s voice was more of a groan. “I can’t…” He lost the words and gave into pure emotion. Galynn felt boneless. Was this how complete satisfaction felt? She didn’t need anything more, in like, maybe forever. Cooper lay beside

Nothing to Lose

81

her, and from the looks of him, he was in the same shape that she was. She traced the tips of her fingers over his full lips. “In movies and books, the hero and heroine don’t sleep the first night.” Her smiled teased her lips. “They…you know. All night.” “Oh they do, do they? It’s too late for the night, but we could try for all day.” She laughed and sat up. The sheet slipped down to her waist. Before she could pull it up, his mouth found her breast, gently suckling. Her hands twined into his hair, holding him against her. This time they took their time, with each of them exploring the other’s body. When he entered her, she was ready, and together they took themselves over the edge of passion. **** Cooper glanced at his watch as he pulled out of the lodge’s parking lot. It was almost noon, but he wouldn’t have given up a second of the morning for an earlier start. They didn’t talk much on the ride back, each lost in their own thoughts and feelings. They were so perfectly tuned into each other that the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. Early into the ride, Cooper took her hand and rested it on his leg in a need to keep touching her and feeling her touching him. Peace filled the car, and it wasn’t long before they were at the end of the lake. Galynn had been half-turned in her seat so she could sit toward Cooper. She pulled her hand back and stretched out her legs as far as she could. “It seemed like it took us less time to come back than it did going.” “I agree. It always seems that way. But bet you could use a break. I know I could.” He pulled into the same little restaurant they’d stopped at going up. “How about a cup of coffee?” When they walked in, the same waitress that had waited on them the way down greeted them. She asked them how the trip went, noting

82

Lavada Dee

that they must have gotten out in the fresh air, as their color was so healthy. When she left to get their coffees, Galynn laughed over at Cooper. “Fresh air does this for you, too?” “Not in this lifetime.” He laughed back. He couldn’t keep from touching her, and reached across the table to take her hand. When the waitress came back, she smiled and said, “Let me guess. Newlyweds, right?” Cooper’s laugh bounced around the room. “You’re almost right. I’m working on it.” The look on the waitress’s face was one of astonishment when she spoke directly to Galynn. “Honey, you have got to be nuts. There are a million women out there that would be running for a preacher if they had a guy like this asking.” Shaking her head, she held her hands across her heart. As soon as the waitress got out of hearing range, Galynn leaned over the table and whispered to Cooper. “A million women? You think?” “Sure, but one million or two, I’m only interested in the one sitting across from me.” He picked up his cup and sipped at the hot coffee. “Umm, this tastes good. I guess it was time for a break.” He again reached for her hand. “I know this isn’t the place but…” He closed his eyes and pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand. “I love you. I’ve never told this to anyone before. Hell, even if I had, it wouldn’t have been like this because I didn’t know there were feelings like this. I think I always knew something was missing in my life, but I had no idea what. I thought I was happy. I certainly wasn’t lonely. But now, without you, I know I’ll experience what loneliness is.” He stopped, trying to find words to let her know how he felt. “When we go home at night, it doesn’t matter if we walk down together, or if you’ve already left the office, the house feels warm and inviting. The other night when you got back late from the store, it felt…” He rubbed his hand down his face. His voice lowered, sounding husky. “I’m having a hard time here.” He took another drink

Nothing to Lose

83

of coffee, wishing for something stronger, and started over. “Galynn, without you the house, the office, and life is cold and empty. I want to marry you, make a family, grow old…” A lone tear trickled down Galynn’s cheek. “Coop…I…” She pulled his hand to her lips and kissed across his fingers. “I love you so much, but don’t you see? It’s because I love you that I have to leave. What would we have if Mick finds me? What if I’m with your mother? Have you thought how dangerous a position it puts your family in?” She shook her head and, with a shaky laugh, kissed his fingers again before releasing his hand. Swiping away the tears, she picked up her coffee cup. “Let’s talk about something else.” “I don’t want to talk about anything else. I want to talk about us. I don’t want to have that sick, gut feeling in my stomach every time I walk in the office or house and don’t immediately see you. I don’t want to start looking for a neatly placed note. I don’t…” Galynn held up her hand. Her voice, barely above a whisper, made Coop lean in to hear her. “I never thought, didn’t look at it from your side. I intended to do exactly what you said. Leave a note and let you get on with your life.” Cooper almost growled out the next words. “On with my life!” He pushed back in his seat and looked over at her. The silence that followed was so dense it felt like she could cut it with a knife. “I won’t…Coop? I won’t leave that way. I promise I’ll tell you before I go. You won’t have to guess when or even how.” “How about you just forget about leaving all together? There are other options. We can hire security, or go back and confront him head-on. You’re not alone anymore. I want to protect you. Now that I know you’re not married to him, it gives us more leeway. We won’t have to go through legal channels to free you of him.” She knew her smile didn’t reach her eyes. He’d see the front she put up, but she wanted this conversation to stop. She knew what Mick was capable of and what she had to do. “Okay, but let’s not talk or

84

Lavada Dee

think about it anymore today. I want to go back to where we were and enjoy our time out together.” She motioned out the window. “I’ve never been out of Atlanta. I’ve only come close to places like this on the Discovery Channel. Seeing it, smelling it, and experiencing the clean, crisp beauty is breathtaking.” Cooper hesitated. She could see him visibly fight for control. She sighed in relief when he finally gave it up and relaxed. His eyes shown with love, and his smile returned, saying more than his words. “I’m looking at something a whole lot more breathtaking than the scenery.”

Nothing to Lose

85

Chapter 9 They left the lake and headed down toward Missoula. She loved hearing his deep voice as he told her about how the town was steeped in active politics and its economy was still based on retail trade. People from hundreds of miles around used the town for their base shopping and medical and professional services. “The University of Montana is here, so even though Blackhawk isn’t very big, we have all the amenities close in Missoula.” “I think you have the best of both worlds.” Cooper nodded his agreement. “The family has a number of properties in Missoula. With the university, there’s always a demand for housing. In addition, there’s some kind of research center being built up on the ridge. It’s estimated that they will be bringing in over a hundred staff members that will need housing.” “Is that why your father wants to buy this property you’re going to look at?” “Yeah, plus, he’s run out of projects and needs something. He’s supposed to be thinking retirement, and he did surprise Mom with a cruise last year, but he’s never going to be happy without some kind of project going. When we fuss, Mom uses the opportunity to tell us that if there were grandchildren…” Just another reason she had to get out of Cooper’s life. To have a child would only give Mick more of a chance to get to her. If a child with Mick would be in danger, how much more would another man’s child be in? She could understand Coop’s underestimating Mick’s ability to find her. He thought she was safe. In a world this big, people had successfully disappeared without nearly the funds she had. But

86

Lavada Dee

she knew different. Mick had an uncanny ability and the resources to track people. His mother had told her of some of the cases he’d worked on. The police department valued his success at what he did. When she told Cooper this, he’d asked if that was the case, why Mick had been unable to find his ex-wife. At his words, hope had flared for a second. However, it was short-lived. For one thing, at first Mick hadn’t wanted to find her. He didn’t care about a girl child. If it had been a boy, that would have been different. By the time he needed to find her to get a divorce, she’d been gone too long. Another reason Galynn suspected was that his ex-wife had learned to block him with a sort of shield. Mick could read people. She knew because his ability to know what she thought or felt had resulted in numerous beatings. It seemed surreal, but she’d learned to shield her mind to some extent, too. Would it be enough so he couldn’t find her? She didn’t want to risk it. Coop had turned on a country-western station. Galynn closed her eyes and willed away her thoughts. She wasn’t going to let Mick intrude in her life anymore than she had to. In a few weeks, she’d leave. Seattle should be big enough for her to lose herself in. She’d be careful not to develop any friendships. If he did find her, it would only be her that would be hurt. Dying couldn’t be any more painful than living with him had been. The GPS had been directing them since Coop set it up when they’d gotten back in the car at the restaurant. It fascinated Galynn, who had never seen one. When they got to Missoula, it started giving directions at nearly every turn. “It’s kind of a sleepy town. I guess I expected more traffic.” Coop smiled. “It’s late afternoon on a Sunday, and this is a college town. Wait until you see it on a weekday.” She noticed that he always looked ahead on things they’d do, places they’d see. Denial or avoidance, she let it go. Five minutes later, Cooper pulled up in front of a huge, three-story building and turned off the motor. She opened her door and stepped out. The

Nothing to Lose

87

building looked like it might have once been a school. The deep porch had columns that ran up to the roof. Cooper took her hand and led her up the wide brick stairs. “Quite something, isn’t it.” She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes wide in wonder. “What did they use this building for? It’s so beautiful with classic lines that blend into the hills behind it.” “Did you study architecture? You seem to have an eye for the design.” “No, but I would have loved to. That, and interior decorating, it would be so much fun to see a place like this come together.” “And what about teaching?” She laughed up at him. “You’re right. I guess I need at least a couple of lifetimes to do everything I’d like to do.” The key Coop’s dad had given him was old. He had a little trouble getting it into the lock, but once he did, it turned easily, and he swung the door open onto a huge entry foyer. For a minute, they both stood mesmerized by the possibilities they could see for the old building. Galynn’s voice echoed in the empty room. “Your dad said something about tearing it down?” “He said the value of the property is in the land and that tearing it down is an option. After seeing it, I don’t think we’ll go that way unless we find something when we do a thorough inspection.” He moved farther into the room. The late-afternoon light played across battered but still-beautiful hardwood floors. He let his gaze move along the floor. There didn’t appear to be any dry rot. “Let’s check the other two floors before we lose the light.” Galynn was only too happy to join him. The stairs were worn, but, like the floors downstairs, were solid. “So was it a school? It doesn’t seem that it’s got the wear I’d expect from a school.” “A private school. I don’t know much else about it, but we can research it when we get home.” Thinking about it, he added, “Or better yet, we can research it tomorrow.”

88

Lavada Dee

When they got upstairs, they could see the typical layout of a school, with maybe bigger rooms. There were two bathrooms on each floor. Galynn stopped at a small, locked door. “What do you think is behind here, maybe the door to the attic?” Cooper gave the door a try. The only key he had went to the front door. “I think you’re probably right. It will need to be open for electrical inspection, but I don’t want to try to turn on any power this late in the day, so I guess we can wait for another time.” Again, Galynn noticed his reference to a future, and a yearning for all that entailed washed over her. A look of pain must have crossed her face because Coop took her chin and tilted it up. “What, tired and maybe cold? It’s freezing in here. We should get out of here before we end up in the dark.” When they got back to the car, they sat for a few minutes looking at the old building. Galynn broke the silence. “What do you think that you’ll put in here, apartments?” “Yeah, the question is what kind. Probably the most practical would be low income, so we could populate it with students. But the building and its location would support luxury apartments or condominiums.” With the heater warming the truck, he didn’t seem in a hurry to leave. “We could also put a bistro and some trendy shops on the bottom floor. I’ll talk to Dad about it, and if he buys the place, we’ll draw up a few designs and see what flies with the rest of the family.” When they got back on the highway, Cooper asked her if she felt up to dinner with his folks at the lodge. She readily agreed, wanting to be a part of the conversation when they talked about the old school. Coop flipped open his cell and dialed his folks. “We’re just leaving Missoula. Want to meet us at the lodge for dinner?” His folks hadn’t eaten dinner yet and were happy that Coop had called. He turned to Galynn. “We should be there in about half an hour. Why don’t you close your eyes and try to take a nap.”

Nothing to Lose

89

When they entered the Blackhawk Lodge, Galynn found herself speechless over a building for the third time in two days. She slowly turned, scanning the room. Cooper had been right. His family’s lodge made the one in Kalispell pale in comparison. Natural pine floors and walls gleamed with warmth. A huge river-rock fireplace took up all of one wall, and a fire blazed in the hearth. Her eyes went to the staircase, and she held her breath. A man walked down the last step and, smiling, walked toward them. He was movie-star beautiful. The same coloring, the same full, sensual mouth as his brothers but more refined. His dark-gray slacks and black shirt looked like they had been designed just for him, and she imagined a pair of shorts and a Tshirt would look the same. Modeling agencies would drool to get their hands on him. He clasped Cooper on the back. “Hey, bro, it’s been awhile.” Turning to Galynn, he held out his hand to her. “I guess I don’t have to guess what’s been keeping you so scarce.” As they shook hands, Cooper introduced them, adding that Devon owed him because with his addition to the family, Devon didn’t have to be the “baby.” “And that’s a good thing?” Devon laughed. It was amazing how much the two brothers’ voices sounded alike. If she closed her eyes, it would be hard to tell which brother was speaking. She’d surprised herself when she’d dozed off on the drive home. Feeling rumpled, she excused herself and headed for the bathroom to freshen up. Leaning over the sink, she splashed water on her face and patted it dry. Her reflection stared back at her from the mirror. She looked rested and happy. Again, the now-familiar twinge hit her heart. How could she even think about leaving all this behind? Cooper and his brother were standing by the entrance talking with Grant when she came out. The three made a picture that would turn any woman’s head, but her eyes went straight to Cooper. Sensing her

90

Lavada Dee

gaze, he turned and met it. He smiled and walked over to meet her. “Feel better for the little snooze?” She nodded. “You were right, but I didn’t feel sleepy.” Cooper’s folks were already seated in a big corner booth, and they quickly joined them. Galynn slid in first to sit beside Cooper’s mother. “Did you have fun up at Kalispell?” “Yes, we had a wonderful time. The trip was beautiful, and Coop is fun to travel with.” The waitress came over, and Devon ordered the usual for all of them. Cooper held up his hand. “Just a sec.” He turned to Galynn. “The usual is prime rib. Are you okay with that? Oh, and coffees all around.” She loved that Devon had included her so effortlessly and said as much but added, “If there’s a small cut of prime rib, I’d like that, and coffee’s fine.” Cooper squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry. If you can’t eat it all, we’ll let you take a doggie bag home.” The salad was served family style with house dressing and hot rolls. As conversation flowed around the table, Galynn found herself joining in more than she would have expected. This is what family is. She blinked to keep a tear at bay. Cooper pressed his leg against hers in silent support. Devon opened the conversation about the old school. Looking over at Cooper, he said, “What did you think of the property in Missoula?” Cooper looked at his two brothers. “Have either of you seen it?” When they shook their heads, he continued. “Well, I don’t think we’ll need to tear down the building. In fact, I can see a lot of possibilities for it. It’s well constructed with quality materials. This wasn’t a run-of-the-mill school. Of course it’s subject to inspection, but I think a lot of it can be salvaged and incorporated into the remodeling. If Dad can get it for land value, we should turn a nice profit on it.”

Nothing to Lose

91

They discussed the pros and cons of economy apartments versus upper-end ones. Galynn noticed Cooper’s mother sliding the rest of her prime rib over to her husband, and she nudged Cooper, asking if he wanted hers. Seemingly without thought, he traded plates with her. Devon caught the exchange and bumped Grant’s arm. “Dang, looks like we need to get a significant other.” His father beamed over at him. “Yep!” Their mother chimed in. “What do you mean ‘significant other’?” She held her fingers up in quote marks. “How about wives? You know, the ones that help make grandbabies.” Grant rolled his eyes at Devon. “Now you’ve done it, bro. Get her started right, and just when things were quieting down.” They all laughed at the antics when Lydia reached over the table and whopped Grant on the shoulder. Cooper glanced down at his watch and let out a low groan. “We need to get moving. So, what next with the property?” His dad drained the rest of his coffee and scooted toward the front of the booth. “Grant’s off tomorrow. How about all of us going down for one more look through. If we all agree, I’ll make an offer on it.” He turned to his wife. “Is that okay? Can you make it tomorrow?” Cooper told them he needed to get the crew out, and then they’d be free. Galynn knew she wouldn’t go, but it felt good when he included her. They set a time to meet at the lodge the next morning and exchanged hugs before heading out the door. When Lydia hugged her, Galynn felt like she’d come home, and for a minute let herself savor the warmth of being a part of a family. The light Cooper had left on in the kitchen welcomed them home. As soon as they got in the door, he took his jacket off and reached for hers. Galynn gave it to him and then started to go upstairs. She was on the first step when she heard Cooper’s indrawn breath. She turned around and put her bag down on the floor. Her gaze sought his as she walked back and into his arms. Leaning back, she traced her fingers across his lips. “I love you.”

92

Lavada Dee

He let out his breath and pulled her closer. They stood rocking back and forth, seeking the warmth of each other. “I thought you might be going up to bed.” She laughed up at him and nibbled along his jaw. “Is that where you want me?” “You know better.” He growled. “I’m going to take a shower and get into my sleeping stuff.” She frowned. “For the first time, I wish I had more clothes…” A blush stole over her features. “Like maybe something you’d enjoy more than a sleeping T-shirt and flannel shorts.” His voice rumbled low and deep. “Honey, you don’t need anything to make you more beautiful, more desirable. I can hardly keep my hands off you.” Taking her hand, he pressed it against the fly of his jeans to prove his point.

Nothing to Lose

93

Chapter 10 When she got back downstairs, Galynn found Cooper dozing on the sofa. She stood for awhile, drinking in the sight of him. His hair curled in damp swirls from his shower. Long, black lashes swept over his cheeks. Devon, his brother, was beautiful, no doubt about it, but to her, Cooper screamed masculinity. He must have sensed her presence because when he opened his eyes, he made instant eye contact with her. Motioning her over, he moved so she could lay down on the sofa with him. “Hey, you. Did the shower feel good?” “Umm lovely…” She started to add, “but it would have been nicer with you.” After what they’d shared the night before, she couldn't believe she would still be shy. Not for the first time, she wished she were more experienced. It seemed like Cooper could read her mind. His arms tightened around her. “Wishing I was with you, huh?” She playfully punched him on the side. “How do you always know what I’m thinking?” He laughed and bent to give her a quick kiss. “Maybe because I’m thinking the same thing.” He’d turned on the gas fireplace, and they laid in silence watching the flames. Galynn fought sleep. She didn’t want to waste any of her precious time with him. Shifting, she raised up so she could she see him. “You’re so very lucky, having a family like yours. Growing up, I always wished for a sister. I’d even have settled for a brother, though for birthdays and Christmases it was always a sister that I had on my wish list.” “Was your mother always sick?”

94

Lavada Dee

“No, but she was always tired. My dad died when I was five. He got hurt working on an old car he had. He didn’t have any health insurance, but he did have a little life insurance. Grandma insisted that Mom put it aside so she’d have something in the bank. She wanted us to come live with her, so we did.” “Is it this house that you and Mick were living in?” “Yes, it’s old, but the neighborhood is still okay.” “Didn’t it bother you to just walk out and let him have it?” Galynn was quiet for a minute. Had it bothered her? The need to get away had been so overwhelming she honestly hadn’t given the house much thought. She gave a little laugh. “Guess it didn’t. Thinking back, instead of the safe haven it had always been, it had become a place I dreaded going home to.” She fell quiet again. She hadn’t thought of anything beyond getting away from Mick. Now she looked at the whole situation the way she knew Cooper could see it. Unlike when his first wife left him, Mick would have the added incentive of money to find her. He couldn’t sell the house without her signature. Cooper’s voice broke into her thoughts. “Why did you pick Seattle?” “Huh?” It took her a few minutes to get back to the present. “Oh, no reason except I don’t know anyone there and I thought that Mick would think I’d stay in a warmer climate.” “So? Why Seattle in particular?” “Wellll.” She drug out the “well,” trying to keep the tone light. Holding up her fingers, she bent one back. “One, it’s big. Two, it’s big, and…” He laughed. “Okay, okay, so you wanted a populated place. Did you put places like Spokane, Portland, and Seattle in a hat and pull one out?” “No, silly. I researched places on the Internet.” Cooper drew in a breath. “Uh, from your home computer?”

Nothing to Lose

95

Galynn saw at once where he was going, and like a lightbulb, she realized what she’d done. Panic almost had her choking. She had to leave, and within the week. Mick would know exactly where she was headed. She had used the school computer. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” chanted in her head. His brother taught at the same school she did. The teachers had to sign on, but they all used the same user ID and password. She bit her lip. It wasn’t too late. She could reverse direction and head down through Wyoming to Colorado. The weather would be a factor, but if she got started, she should be able to make it. Almost in a panic, she rolled over so she could get off the sofa. She tensed when Cooper sat up and pulled her back to him. “It’s okay. Nothing’s going to happen tonight.” Taking her with him, he stood up and headed toward the kitchen. “You’re shaking. Come on, honey. It’s going to be all right. I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anything or anyone hurt you again.” Tears blurred her eyes. This was exactly what she feared. Cooper didn’t know Mick or how insane he was. Mick had been escalating. How much more out of control had he become since she’d left? “I’ve got to go.” Her voice shook, and she half turned so Cooper wouldn’t see her face. “I told you I wouldn’t leave without telling you first, and I am telling you now.” She stopped and gulped back a sob. “Coop, don’t you see? I have to leave, now, tonight if there’s a bus.” Her eyes begged him to let her go. “Please,” she whispered. **** She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. Coop couldn’t believe how fast the evening had gone south. One minute they were on the sofa, and her long legs were entwined with his and her body was soft and smelling of soap from her shower. Then something set her off, and she tensed. Something they’d been talking about had scared her. He tried to get his mind around what. He held out his hand to her. “Okay, but there aren’t any buses tonight, this I know. I don’t

96

Lavada Dee

have a schedule, and you have to admit that if Mick’s managed to track you this far, hanging around the station isn’t a good idea.” At her nod, he breathed a sigh of relief. For awhile, he had been afraid she was going to insist on trying to get out of Blackhawk tonight. She didn’t take his hand. A dazed look had replaced the panic she’d been in a few seconds before. He motioned to the kitchen. “How about a cup of cocoa? I know I could use a cup of coffee. Just can’t get into the cocoa thing like you do.” It was just past nine o’clock, and making a pot of coffee probably wasn’t the best idea, but then again, this could be a long night. She didn’t say anything but followed him into the kitchen and started helping him with the drinks. He hated seeing her like this. A sort of resignation had settled over her like maybe she deserved this. He couldn’t let her go. Not like this, hell, not like anything. He felt a bit of panic himself. Not like hers, but more painful than anything he’d ever experienced before. If it was this bad now, what would it be when she wasn’t here? She pulled out a chair and sat down. He didn’t like being in the kitchen. The living room felt warmer and more intimate. “Let’s take our drinks back in the other room.” His voice surprised him. It sounded normal when nothing about how he felt seemed normal. She took the steaming cup of cocoa and slowly sipped at it. “This is better. I have to think. I can’t keep heading toward Seattle. Maybe backtrack to Wyoming and go south in to Utah or Colorado. Utah will be closer, and there are some good-sized cities there.” Again, Cooper was surprised that his voice didn’t show the emotion he felt. “Colorado is going to be getting some bad winter weather. Denver is big, but it’s right up there in the mountains. They don’t call it the Mile-High City for nothing.” He drew in a breath. “Why the about-face? One minute you intended to go to Seattle, the next…”

Nothing to Lose

97

“When you asked about how I picked Seattle, I realized I’d researched it on the school computer, and Mick’s brother has access.” Cooper watched as Galynn got up and went upstairs. When she came back down with a map, he pushed their cups back so she could spread it out. At least she meant to let him know where she was going. If she doesn’t change her mind on the way. He rubbed his chest. Could a heart really break? His felt like it had already started. She leaned over the table, tracing the roads from Blackhawk down to Ogden. “Ogden? Or maybe Salt Lake City?” Her voice still trembled a little. “I think Ogden for now. If I can’t find a job and place to stay, I’ll head on down to Salt Lake and then on to Denver.” She sat back and took a big drink of her cocoa. She looked better, and some of her color had come back. The sugar in the cocoa no doubt had a lot to do with it. He swallowed and cleared his throat. What could he say to get her to change her mind? How could he just let her go? “Wait for a few days. We can go with the folks to look at that property tomorrow. I’ll get the crew set up, and then I’ll drive you down to Ogden.” She shook her head. “No, I don’t want you involved.” “Involved, I’m a whole lot more than involved. What happened to ‘I love you’? I meant it when I said it, Galynn, and I’ll mean it tomorrow and next year.” He reached across the table to take her hand. “How can you expect me to just let you get on a bus and leave?” Her eyes filled with tears. He couldn’t stand it and got up to take her in his arms, but before he could get around the table, she covered her mouth and ran for the bathroom. By the time he’d recovered enough to follow her, he could hear her throwing up over the toilet. He tried the door, but even in her hurry, she’d made time to lock it. He cursed as he paced up and down in front of the door. When the retching stopped, he again tried the door. “Unlock the door, honey. Let me help you.”

98

Lavada Dee

Her voice sounded muffled. “I’m okay, Coop. Please, I don’t want you to see me like this.” He put his forehead against the door, trying to get as close as possible. “You’re killing me with this. What if you pass out? Unlock the door so you can call me if you need me.” He didn’t expect her to do what he asked. He heard the toilet flush and then the click of the lock a few seconds later. When he heard water running in the sink, he eased the door open. Her face had again lost all color. She was as white as a sheet. She met his gaze in the mirror. “I’m sorry. I’m going upstairs to brush my teeth. It might be better if I went on to bed. You have a busy day tomorrow and need to get some sleep.” “And you think I’m going to be able to sleep without you?” He eased into the small bathroom and took her in his arms. She shuddered against him, and he could feel her heartbeat. Gently he rocked her back and forth, murmuring love words against her hair. He felt her relax, and he moved his mouth down her temple. She pulled back. The room receded as their gazes locked and held. “Don’t do this. Don’t leave me,” he whispered. She closed her eyes, locking him out. He felt her withdrawal, and the pain in his chest radiated all the way through his body. It hurt. He tried to pull her back against him, but with a soft cry, she spun out of his arms and toward the stairs. Cooper dropped back down at the table and put his head in hands. The room felt empty, more than empty, desolate. Is this what my life is destined to be, a barren wasteland? Not yet. She was only upstairs, and tonight she’d lie against him. He wasn’t going to borrow misery. Morning always made a difference. Hopefully as the shadows of night fell away, so would Galynn’s resolve to leave him. ****

Nothing to Lose

99

Gray light filtered in the window, heralding a new day. It had been a long night. He was tired, and she looked worse than he felt. Not that it surprised him, first the panic attack and then getting sick. It all had to have taken a lot out of her. They hadn’t made love. Instead, he’d held her. At first he’d tried to get her to talk about it, but she didn’t want to. Somewhere along the line, he’d drifted off to sleep. He felt her move and turned his head to find her looking at him. “Hi, you. It looks like it got to be morning.” He traced his fingertips across her lips, aching for more. Has she slept at all? He wanted to ask her, but even if she had, he’d bet she hadn’t gotten much sleep. Her physical condition made her leaving even a worse idea. “We need to talk.” She shook her head. “No, Coop, there’s nothing more to say.” Replacing the tears, there was resolve in her voice and body language. He felt his heart plummet. “So you’re just going to walk out. You’re not going to fight for us?” Her voice was a whisper, and he moved closer to hear her. “We wouldn’t win. At least this way I’ll know you and your family are okay.” “You think I’m going to be okay not knowing where you are, if you’re happy, if you’re safe? I don’t think so.” She swung her legs off the bed, and in one fluid motion stood on the other side of the bed. “I’ve got to get dressed.” She was already at the door, and, before he could stop her, she was gone. Again, like last night, the room took on a desolate gloom. So this was it. This is how it would end. He slowly got up. He felt like an old man as he went over to the window. It had started snowing again, big, white, wet flakes. Would there even be a bus out today? He could hope. Out of the shower, he didn’t feel a lot better, and he suspected this was only the beginning. Pouring a cup of coffee from the pot he’d made before his shower, he dialed his folks’ number. When his dad answered, he felt more grounded. There was still a world out there,

100

Lavada Dee

people he loved and who loved him. He sucked in a breath when his voice broke. “Dad, Galynn is leaving, and I need to cancel our trip to look at that property.” His dad didn’t answer right away, and Cooper wasn’t sure the line hadn’t gone down. Finally, he heard his dad clear his throat. “I just got the weather report, and they have storm warnings out. We’ll need to wait for a few days…what can we do?” He voiced the same thing Cooper had been thinking. “Does she realize that she may have to wait for this storm to let up?” Montana people were used to winter weather, and usually they went about business in spite of it, but when a storm like this hit, they also knew to hunker down and let it pass. Cooper hollered up to Galynn that he was going up to the office to cancel the day’s work and warned her not to try to go out in it. “It’ll blow over, but until it does you could get caught in a whiteout.” She came out into the hall and leaned over the balcony. She’d just gotten out of the shower and had a big towel wrapped around her. He felt his groin tighten and shifted to ease the tightness in his jeans. “This is serious. I’m not trying to scare you, but no one goes out in weather like this. Dad said it’s supposed to blow over by nightfall.” “Are you going to work in the office?” “Yeah, I need to call the crew, and I have some bids to put out.” “Wait for me and I’ll go with you. There are some things I’d like to get done before…” He glanced at the time. He needed to call the crew before they tried to make it in, though he doubted they’d do that. “Why don’t I go up and make those calls. I’ll be back down in about an hour or hour and a half, and we’ll have breakfast and then go back up together?”

Nothing to Lose

101

Chapter 11 Galynn used the time to pack her things. She’d taken Cooper’s advice and bought a midsize suitcase. When she put the last top in the case, she sighed with relief. She had to push on the top to get the suitcase zippered, but she’d gotten everything in it. She swung it off the bed and wheeled it over to the door. How had she managed to accumulate so much so fast? Of course Coop helped. He had made it a habit of bringing her things. Warm slippers, a book, candy, little things that meant so much. She smiled to herself just thinking about him. She’d never had a man in her life until Mick, and he seemed like an alien life-form in comparison to Cooper. Had it only been just a few short weeks since the night Cooper had found her on the road? It seemed like a lifetime ago. Galynn walked over to the window. It had been snowing like this the first morning she’d woken up in this room. She remembered the feeling of rightness, of feeling safe. Life seemed so different here. Maybe that was why she had taken to it right away. Or maybe it was the powerful attraction between her and Cooper? Who knew, but when she left here, she didn’t expect to ever find it again. Before coming upstairs, she’d put on some soup to simmer. The aroma drifted upstairs, and her stomach rumbled. She placed her hand over it. After losing most of her dinner the night before, she’d be ready for an early lunch when Cooper came in. She smoothed the spread over the bed and took one last look at the room she had come to love. She liked having this time alone. It gave her time to wash her clothes and the bed linens and straighten the house. After Coop had left, she’d called the bus station. There was a

102

Lavada Dee

bus scheduled for a late afternoon trip going to Salt Lake City with a stop in Ogden. If Cooper wouldn’t drive her to the station, she would walk. This time, she felt strong and healthy, and she had clothes for the weather. The phone’s sharp ring startled her. Thinking it would be Cooper, she picked it up without thinking. His mother’s voice floated over the air. “Hi, I wasn’t sure whether to call the office or house. I’m glad I caught you.” Without missing a beat, she went right on. “Cooper says you’re leaving?” Galynn took a deep breath. She wasn’t expecting his mother to get involved, or to even to care for that matter. Did his mother know how their relationship had deepened? “Yes, I hadn’t intended to stay this long.” “I know this isn’t any of my business, and believe me, I never mess around in my son’s life like this but…” Galynn wanted to be anywhere but where she was right now. What do I say to the mother of the man I love? She started to answer, to say something, but Lydia interrupted. “I imagine you’re scared.” At her words, Galynn froze. She hadn’t thought Cooper would talk to his mother about her. A sick feeling hit her stomach, and she barely caught his mother’s next words. “I know I was. I only knew the boys’ father a month when we got married.” The line went silent for a second as what his mother said sank in. Before she could answer, Lydia continued. “Cooper is a good man. We all saw how it was between you two.” Her hands clung to the phone. “I…” She took a breath and tried again. “There are things you don’t know, things better not to know. It’s because I love him so much I have to leave.” A sob escaped. She took another breath, trying to get through what had to be said. “I’d rather be dead than to see him hurt, but I have to do this.” Her next words were a whisper. “Please…please just take care of him.” She almost hung up the phone when she heard Lydia’s voice come over the line. “The weather is so nasty. The buses don’t always run in

Nothing to Lose

103

it. Why don’t you wait? You and Cooper could come for dinner tonight. He has a snowmobile if he can’t get the truck over.” Galynn heard Cooper at the door. Maybe it would be good if he went to his parents’ for dinner. That way he wouldn’t be by himself tonight. “Let me get Cooper on the line, and you can ask him.” She held out the phone, mouthing, “It’s your mother.” Galynn stirred the soup and poured Cooper a cup of coffee. He looked tired. As soon as she thought it, she realized that “tired” wasn’t enough of a word for how he looked, maybe more like haunted. She knew the look. She’d seen it in the mirror this morning. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him as he stood at the counter hunched over into the phone. His jeans were well worn. Soft from washings, they molded against his thighs and butt. An exciting ache tickled low in her stomach. He wasn’t saying much, mostly listening. She hoped his mother had let her leaving go. She could tell he wasn’t in the mood for a discussion about it. His voice didn’t show that she had said anything personal. “Thanks, Mom, I just stepped in the house. Let me get back to you on it.” A weary sigh escaped as he ran his hand down his face. He took the coffee over to the table and sat it beside the bowl of soup Galynn ladled out for him. “Thanks, this looks and smells good. Let me wash up, and I’ll be right back.” While he was in the bathroom, Galynn went upstairs and collected her things. She wanted this last meal to be peaceful? Cooper was wound tight, and she wasn’t far behind him. Peaceful probably would be as good as they could expect. These last few hours were going to have to last her a lifetime, and she wanted to leave with as many good memories as she possible could. Coop was still in the bathroom, and she gave a small prayer of thanks. She hurried through the kitchen and sat her things by the back door. He wouldn’t be able to see them from the table and ruin his lunch, but they would be handy to grab and take

104

Lavada Dee

with her when they went back to the office. She planned to leave straight from there to the bus station. She had just taken the garlic bread out of the microwave when Cooper came back into the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, he again told her how good lunch smelled. A few minutes later, he looked up and said, “It not only smells good. It tastes delicious.” Galynn smiled, glad she’d taken the time to make it. It wasn’t homemade but the next best thing to it. Tex-Mex chili came in a frozen package large enough to feed a family. It had all the ingredients she liked to use in her own recipe, from onions and green peppers to pieces of tomatoes. She relaxed as Cooper chose to keep things normal and not bring up the impending trip to the bus station. They talked about the office, and Cooper told her what he’d gotten done. “I really don’t have to go back up if you’d rather stay home today. We could maybe take a nap and then run over to the folks’ for dinner.” Galynn took the last bite of her soup and pushed her bowl back. This felt a bit too normal. Was he in denial? “Can I get you another bowl?” “I can get it. How about you?” When she shook her head, Cooper held up the coffeepot. She pushed her cup over closer so he could fill it. She didn’t really want anymore, but she needed something to do with her hands. When he sat back down, he looked over at her. “So what do you think? Want to stay home and play?” A teasing smile played over his lips. She’d wanted to wait until after he’d eaten to tell him that she had called the bus station and a bus was scheduled to leave this afternoon. She wanted these last few minutes with him so much it hurt. She got up and started cleaning the kitchen, stalling for time. His gaze followed her, and an uncomfortable quiet hung over them. He continued to eat until he emptied the bowl. When he’d spooned in the last bite, he took a sip of coffee. His voice was low, but it sounded like a shout to Galynn. “Okay, enough. You’ve washed that counter

Nothing to Lose

105

so well I doubt there’s a speck of anything on it. You didn’t answer me about this afternoon and dinner.” He motioned her toward the chair. “Come on and drink your coffee and tell me what’s happening.” “I wanted…” She closed her eyes for a second. Her next words were going to change both of their lives forever. If only she could postpone it until the last possible minute, but from the look of Cooper’s face, it was going to be now. Taking a breath, she started over. “I wanted to wait until we were ready to go back to the office. I wanted to have as much time as possible with you without this hanging over our heads.” His frown had her struggling for words. She was a hundred percent positive he’d never strike her. She had no fear, but she didn’t want to leave with anger between them. By the looks of it, that wasn’t going to happen. She caught her lower lip in her teeth, a habit she hadn’t used in the last week or so. “I called the bus station, and there’s a bus leaving today at five for Ogden.” Like slow motion, she watched as Cooper put his cup down on the table and ran a hand across his face. Her voice sounded stronger than she thought it would. “I’m packed and have my things ready by the back door.” He still didn’t say anything. She waited. The seconds sounded loud as they clicked away on the old wall clock. Her next words sounded harsh, and that wasn’t what she intended. “I’m going to be on that bus. If you can’t take me, let me know because I’ll have to leave earlier.” When his gaze met hers, she bit back a cry at seeing the raw pain in his eyes. His face looked drawn, and his normally dark skin paled to an ash color. She reached for his hand, but he pulled it back and got up from the table so abruptly he knocked over the chair. He didn’t stop to pick it up but stalked out of the room. When she heard the back door slam shut, all she could think of was that he hadn’t put on his coat. It was still snowing, but not as hard and the flakes were smaller. It had to be freezing out there. She ran for the back door, but

106

Lavada Dee

he was already down the drive. She doubted he’d hear her call to him, and she wouldn’t be able to catch him. She righted his chair and sank into it. What now? A glance at the clock told her it was just short of two o’clock. She felt numb. What would Cooper do? She hurt. It felt like her heart really had broken. She looked around the kitchen she’d come to love and thought about the man who had built it. Tears ran unheeded down her face. With an angry swipe, she wiped them away. How could she leave, but how much worse would she feel if she stayed and Mick found her? She knew he’d kill her, but not before he made her watch him hurt or even kill Cooper and anyone else that was with her at the time. It would be beyond thinking if that happened. She felt strength flow back into her. She had warm clothing now, thanks to Cooper. She’d walk to the bus station. It was maybe two miles at the most, and she had plenty of time. She’d need to leave the suitcase. If the weather wasn’t so wet, she could probably wheel it, but she’d never manage to carry it up the drive, let alone all the way to the bus station. With a determined shrug of her shoulders, she started repacking. She put the fluffy slippers to the side of the suitcase. Each item she took out brought memories. When she placed the final item in her backpack, she looked at the items she would be leaving behind. A sob escaped as she closed the suitcase with so much still left in it. By the time she’d finished, it was almost three o’clock and no sign of Cooper. He had been so angry and hurt when he’d left. He had to be going through hell right now. At least she had control of what she was doing. He must feel helpless as well as hurting. If only…but no, it was better to just leave. She turned off the lights and had her hand on the doorknob when she turned back and, instead, went into his office.

Nothing to Lose

107

Chapter 12 The snow had stopped, but now a strong wind blew. Galynn’s eyes stung, and she ducked her head to shield her face as much as possible. She slowed, fighting the pull to stop at the office. She wouldn’t stay but a second. With longing, she instead kept moving one foot in front of the other. Saying more good-byes would just cause more pain to a man that didn’t deserve any of this. Cooper took the decision out of her hands when the door opened and he stepped out. At the sight of her, anger suffused his face. Within seconds, he had her by the arm and was propelling her inside the office. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” he ground between clenched teeth. She froze, and for a second, fear caught her in its grip. With a curse, he pulled her into his arms. “Shh, I’m sorry. Oh, honey, don’t be afraid. I can’t stand to see you look at me this way.” He released his hold and took a step back. Drawing in a deep breath, he held up both hands to give her space. “You can’t be trying to walk to the bus station. You’ll be frozen before you’re halfway there.” Her words came out in staccato. “I didn’t think you were going to come back to take me. It isn’t that far, and I’m dressed for the weather.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Please just let me go.” He shook his head and gestured toward the door. “Come back to the house with me. We have time for a cup of coffee. I want to run something by you. Then if you still want to go, I’ll take you.”

108

Lavada Dee

Eyeing her backpack, he smiled. “Besides, you’ll need to repack your suitcase if you still want to leave.” She pulled away. “No, there’s nothing left to say. I have to do this.” Her eyes sought his. Seconds passed. Her voice was soft against the wind. “Please, Cooper, please.” “I can’t. Not like this.” When he added a soft, whispered, “please,” she turned and, without saying anything more, allowed him to walk her back to the house. The door opened on welcoming warmth, and Cooper shrugged out of the coat he’d found in the office. Taking hers, he hung them both up. She’d made a fresh pot of coffee, so all he had to do was turn it on. A few minutes later, the aroma of perked coffee filled the room, giving the scene a façade of normalcy. The kitchen hummed with tension. Galynn felt like she was on a tightrope. Like Cooper had said, by him taking her to the bus, she’d be able to use her suitcase. “I’ll go up and get the rest of my things.” When she got back downstairs, Cooper looked a little more relaxed. He poured them each a cup of coffee and waited until she was seated before saying anything. “You should have hollered. I would have brought your suitcase down for you.” “It isn’t heavy. In fact, it’s a perfect size for me.” “Good. Look, Galynn, I’m sorry I stormed out without assuring you I’d be back in time to take you. I needed, time to, uh…” She reached across the table and took his hand in both of hers. Bringing it to her mouth, she kissed his knuckles. “I know. You don’t have anything to apologize for. I will never be able to say enough sorrys for the pain I’ve caused you.” She looked up and held his gaze. “You have given me more than some women have in a lifetime. You’ve made me laugh, and love.” She closed her eyes for a second, and when she opened them, she saw tears shimmering unshed in his.

Nothing to Lose

109

Cooper slowly stood and pulled her to him without breaking eye contact. Moving back to his chair, he sat and guided her down to his lap. “We need to talk. I did some thinking up at the office, and I have a proposal for you.” She shook her head and wrenched away. At the counter, she rested her hands on it with her back to him. She sensed his presence behind her before she felt his hands come around her waist. He didn’t make it easy. She wanted to be strong, but she wanted him more and, with a sigh, gave up and melted back and into him. He whispered words of love against her neck. Moving against her, she could feel his arousal and immediately felt herself respond. His mouth moved over her neck, nipping and then kissing it away. His low growl mingled with her softer moans as his hands found their way under her sweater to the clasp on her bra. His breath sounded loud as his mouth stopped and his hands took over. Her breasts felt full, and she pressed against his hands. He released one and ran his palm down over her stomach, opening the button on her jeans. She was nearly out of her mind when he pushed inside. She tried to turn to get access to him, but he held her firm and worked his fingers into her moist heat. Pressure built, and she whimpered, begging him for more. Her muscles tightened around his fingers, and she cried out as he took her where dreams went. This time when she turned to face him, he let her. With immediate need, he swept his fly open. He lifted her leg, positioning her for entry. At the last minute, he lifted her onto the counter top. “Put your legs around my waist.” His voice was low, intense, and raspy. She did as he asked, his size filling her until she wasn’t sure she could take all of him. She shifted, lifting her legs tighter around his waist. His moan echoed her own as she took all he had. Their mating took on an urgency that hadn’t been there before. Too soon, they shuddered as they climaxed together.

110

Lavada Dee

Neither moved, not wanting to separate. Cooper finally pulled away and lifted her off the counter. “I’ll never cook on this counter again without thinking about this.” Her laugh came out shaky. “You better not cook at all until you wash it down and use one of those Clorox wipes.” “You think?” Galynn glanced at the clock. She needed to leave. She still had to purchase a ticket, and with the weather, she didn’t want to take a chance that the bus schedule might be off. Cooper saw her and winced. “About that proposal, it would be better to drive down to Ogden instead of taking the bus. If you wait until Friday, I’ll drive you down and help you get into an apartment. We could make it in a long day and…” He stopped when she held up her hand. “Okay, if not Friday, I’ll take you tomorrow.” “No, no Friday, no tomorrow. You know that it won’t work. If you know where I’m at, you won’t be any safer than if I stayed here.” He gave her a smug grin. “So just stay here.” She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, and Cooper immediately reached over with his forefinger and released it. “I’m taking the bus. If you drive me, you’ll come back for visits. That—” He interrupted her. “Yeah, that’s the idea.” “Well, it won’t work. You could be there when Mick finds me.” “You mean if he finds you.” “No, I mean when.” She abruptly turned and made for the bathroom. Closing the door, she ran cold water over her face and finger combed her hair. That done, she turned the water on warm to clean up from their lovemaking. With renewed resolve, she reentered the kitchen. Cooper had poured another cup of coffee and sat at the table with his head in his hands. Their lovemaking of a few minutes earlier seemed like a dream as they faced each other across the kitchen.

Nothing to Lose

111

**** Cooper looked like a thundercloud when they walked into the bus station. He pulled out his credit card, not because he wanted to, but because she’d asked. She’d explained that she wanted to avoid a cash transaction being flagged for Mick. She didn’t look at him when she took the ticket from him. “You don’t have to wait with me. Besides, you need to call your mother about dinner.” “I forgot. See, I need you to keep me straight.” He put his finger under her chin, tipping her face up. His eyes told her that wasn’t all he needed her for and reminded her she needed him just as much. “You’re throwing something beyond value away.” She whispered back, “I know.” “Then don’t. We can fight. We don’t have to wait for him to come to us.” At his words, she felt the color leave her face, and she shivered with the chill of disabling fear. He stepped closer, shielding her, putting his arm around her shoulders. He guided her to a bench. “Stay here. I’m going to get you a soda. You look like you need the sugar.” The soda helped, and she took a deep breath. He took the halfempty can she held out to him. “You scared me. What just happened? I thought you were going to pass out.” She tried for a smile but missed. “I’m sorry. Even the thought of you confronting Mick is terrifying. If you did and were hurt…He isn’t sane, Coop. He plays dirty. He…” His fingers dug into her arms as he turned her to face him. “Damn it! Did you hear what I said? I’d rather fight with you and lose than give up what we have without a fight.” She reached over and stroked his cheek with her fingertips. He closed his eyes, despair replacing anger. The swoosh of the bus’s brakes brought them both back to the present.

112

Lavada Dee

**** Cooper watched as she went up the bus steps, willing her to turn back. When she didn’t, he felt like he was going to throw up. Everything in him wanted to follow her and pull her off the bus. He took a step forward and felt a hand on his shoulder. Grant’s deep voice sounded like it came from a tunnel as the whole world receded. Cooper didn’t remember the ride home. He knew his dad and Grant were with him and that Grant drove his rig. He knew they talked and he answered, or at least he thought he did. He could remember his father giving him a hug before leaving. He remembered lying down on the sofa where someone threw a blanket over him. He wouldn’t have thought he could sleep, and he wasn’t sure he had. He ached everywhere. It felt like he’d taken a fall down a ski slope. His head pounded with the granddaddy of headaches. He swung his legs off the sofa and stood up, surprised that he felt so dizzy. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, and headed to the bathroom. One thing for sure, he was alive. No one dead would have to pee as bad as he did. When he came out, he smelled coffee. His heart lurched in his chest. She hadn’t left. It had all been a nightmare. A smile lit up his face as he rounded the corner and came up short. Grant stood at the counter, trying to milk the first drops into a couple of cups. His voice sounded ugly even to him. “Where did you come from?” Grant turned and gave him what looked more like a grimace then a smile. “I didn’t come from anywhere. I used the recliner. You were so dopey you walked right past me.” “Disoriented.” “Huh?” Cooper reached for the cup Grant had just filled. “Disoriented. I am a little disoriented, not dopey.”

Nothing to Lose

113

Grant finally got another cup out of the perking coffee. He pulled out a chair and winced at his first sip. “Damn, this is strong enough to stain your teeth.” “Well, what did you expect? The first part of the perk is always stronger. Personally, I need this.” The brothers drank their coffee in silence. Finally, Grant looked up. “Want to talk about it?” “Hell no.” Softening his tone, he added, “There’s nothing to talk about. She left. She said Ogden but…” He opened his hands, palms up on the table. “So what’s on for today?” Cooper held his cup to his lips and let the steam heat his face. His head still throbbed, and he wanted to bawl, something he didn’t remember doing even as a child. Mumbling he needed an aspirin, he left Grant at the table and went back to the bathroom. A half an hour later, he finally made his way back to the kitchen. He wasn’t surprised to see Grant still there, and this time with a plate of toast. His brother motioned him over to the table. “Eat.” Cooper didn’t want anything. Even toast made his stomach lurch. When he didn’t answer, Grant took a piece and pushed the plate closer to him. “Eat, or Mother’s going to be over here with chickennoodle soup.” At the familiar threat, Cooper burst out laughing. When it ended with a sob, he put his head in his hands and let it out. He could hear himself, but it sounded like a long way off, almost like the sobs were coming from underwater. Grant went into the bathroom and soaked a washcloth in cold water. Returning to the kitchen, he handed it to his brother. Silently, Cooper took it. He held it to his face until it started getting warm. Drawing in a shaky breath, he threw the cloth in the sink and reached for a piece of toast. Mumbling, he said, “You never put enough butter on.” More something to distract them than that he wanted it, he got up and opened a jar of jam. Slathering on more than

114

Lavada Dee

he needed, he glanced over at Grant, who looked like he wanted to say something. “What? I like jam.” Grant was saved from answering by the phone. From his brother’s side of the conversation, Cooper wasn’t surprised when Grant asked him if he wanted to run over to Missoula to look at the property. “What about your schedule? I thought you worked today.” “I called in, so I have the whole day. Can you get your crew set up and go with us?” A day away with his father and brother sounded good, and in less than half an hour he had the day laid out for his men. **** It was after six o’clock when the three men got back to Blackhawk. After looking over the property together, they’d decided to put in the apartments. The building was just too good to tear down. Wanting the whole family involved, his dad called to see if his mother could meet them at the lodge for some dinner, and by six thirty, the family was sitting at their usual table. Devon apologized for not making the trip and asked a horde of questions. Their father went over a proposal and some details and promised to get the old blueprints to Cooper so he could draft a design for upper-end apartments. By the time they finished, it was almost ten o’clock. Cooper had participated, but barely. No one had mentioned Galynn, but he knew everyone felt her absence. How could one small woman make such an impact in so short a time? Finally he couldn’t take it a second longer, and with a mumbled “good night,” he pushed himself away from the table and stalked toward the door. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mother get up to come after him and Grant standing and pulling her into his arms. One day down and a lifetime to go.

Nothing to Lose

115

Chapter 13 Early morning light filtered through the bus window. Galynn shifted in her seat, thankful the long night was finally over. She glanced around at the other passengers, some waking up and others still slumped in their seats. Oh how she envied them. She hadn’t been able to do more than doze for a few minutes at a time, and she felt so tired she was almost rummy. The loudspeaker came on, sounding overly loud in the sleeping bus. The driver announced “Johnson Pass, Wyoming” and that there would be a forty-five-minute breakfast break. She wasn’t hungry, but a cup of coffee sounded like nectar of the gods. Galynn stepped off the bus. The wind blasted against her, and she fought the urge to return to her seat. Instead, she pulled the fleece jacket up to cover her ears. The cold air burned her lungs. There was a coffee shop inside the station, but she could see a well-lit café across the street and halfway down the block. She hesitated. The station would be crowded, but they were used to filling orders quickly. When a big guy pushed ahead of her, she made a decision and headed down the street. It felt colder here than home. With surprise, she realized that even though she’d only been in Cooper’s town a few weeks, it would always be “home” to her. She lifted her head and took in the snowcovered mountains that reminded her of Blackhawk and made her ache with homesickness. A sob lodged in her throat. She bit it back. Will these blasted tears ever stop? She pushed open the door to what the sign announced as “Ruby’s Café.” Welcoming, warm air hit her, and she hurried through the door

116

Lavada Dee

to keep it from escaping out into the cold morning. An older woman that looked like she could be cast as everybody’s grandmother grabbed a menu and the coffeepot. She motioned to a booth along the wall. Galynn slid into the seat, facing the windows so she could watch the bus. If people started coming out of the station, she’d know to hurry back. The name tag just over the lady’s breast read “Ginger.” With a smile, she poured coffee and put the menu in front of Galynn. “From the bus?” Galynn nodded. “It looked pretty crowded in the station.” She wasn’t hungry, but the last she’d eaten was part of a bowl of soup the day before. Without looking at the menu, she ordered a couple of fried eggs with an English muffin. “Want some bacon or sausage with that?” “No, just the eggs, and if it comes with hash browns, that would be good.” The waitress turned in the order and leaned over the counter. There were only a few customers, and they were all older men. The waitress waved her hand over the room. “It’s pretty early yet for Johnson Pass. We open at six for folks starting work or driving through, but the breakfast crowd usually comes in around eight.” She pointed to a sign on the window. Galynn couldn’t see what it said, as the wording was directed on the other side, facing the street. When she didn’t answer, the woman sighed. “Don’t guess you’d be interested in a job? Can’t say that I blame you. It don’t pay much, but there’s a small apartment that goes with it.” The waitress came around the counter with Galynn’s order. “We lost our breakfast cook a couple of days ago. Her daughter had an accident, and she had to go help out with the grandkids. I understand, but it has left us in a mess. My Barney has been taking the morning off from the car repair shop to help, but his work is piling up over there.”

Nothing to Lose

117

Galynn liked to cook. She’d waitressed and cooked in a place a lot like this when she was in school. She looked toward the window where the food orders came out. A customer couldn’t see much of anyone in there. If Mick did come in, she’d see him, way before he’d see her. And he would never expect her to be working in a place like Johnson Pass, let alone cooking in a small café. This might be perfect. There wasn’t anything magical about Ogden except its size. She had no real reason to go there. Unbidden, the thought washed over her that she would be closer to Blackhawk, closer to Cooper here. When Ginger came back with the coffeepot, Galynn glanced out the window. The first passengers were filtering out the door of the bus station and boarding the bus. She would have to make up her mind fast. If she wasn’t going to stay, she had to get back over to the bus or it would be pulling out without her, and with her suitcase. Oh well, nothing to lose. Galynn grabbed her backpack. “I’ll be right back, and we can talk about the job.” Within a few minutes, she was back. The driver had given her a hard time in a teasing way. He’d told her to keep her ticket. If she changed her mind, he’d be back through Johnson Pass in a week and would take her the rest of the way. Ginger poured herself a cup of coffee and slid into the other side of Galynn’s booth. The few customers had left, so they had the place to themselves for the moment. “I’m hoping all this”—she waved toward Galynn’s suitcase that sat by the booth—“means you’re considering the job.” “Yes, I’d like to see how it works out. If it doesn’t, I can always continue on.” Ginger played with her cup, moving it in a circle. She looked like she was pondering her words. Galynn’s heart sank. Had she decided against giving her the job? If so, she could be sitting here for a week with nothing to do except think, and that’s the last thing she wanted to do.

118

Lavada Dee

Ginger finally broke the silence. “We don’t ask many questions here, so I’m not going to ask you why a pretty, obviously educated young woman would want a job as a cook in a backwoods café.” Galynn interrupted her. “You must have had some thoughts. You brought up the job without asking if I had any experience.” A smile broke over Ginger’s face. “Yep, I did at that. I pride myself on my good judge of character, and, honey, you look like what you might lack in experience you’ll make up for in determination. Besides, you look like you could use a little help.” Galynn didn’t confirm or deny what Ginger said. Instead, she waited for her to go on. “So okay, let’s get down to business. Like I said, the cook’s pay isn’t much. A little more than the waitresses because they get tips, but still not what you’re probably used to.” “I’ll get by,” Galynn said. “The job comes with an apartment and a wage of nine dollars an hour. Can you get by on that?” Galynn nodded. She had enough money to last for a while, even without a job. This one would fit her simple needs. With an apartment, she probably wouldn’t have to dip into her own money at all. Ginger drained her cup and stood up. “Well then, let’s get you settled in. Barney, my guy, is in only to help out in this pinch, so could you start tomorrow morning? You’ll have the breakfast and lunch shift from six o’clock until one.” Galynn hoped the apartment was close. She’d decided to use her new identity cards when she left Blackhawk. She needed to start a new life, and now would be as good a time as any. She was tired of running. If, in spite of everything she’d done, Mick found her, she’d be the only one in danger. It was time to make a stand and let whatever was meant to be happen.

Nothing to Lose

119

She didn’t want to have to buy a car right away, but she knew she would need it sooner or later. If she needed it to get back and forth to the apartment, she’d make now the time. Ginger shuffled behind the counter and grabbed a couple of keys. She motioned for Galynn to follow her and hollered over her shoulder for Barney to watch things for a few minutes. Turning back to Galynn, she said, “The apartment is right above us. It has an outside entrance and one down this hall. The apartment turned out to be a lot bigger than Galynn had expected. The door opened onto a small entry with doors off it into a living room and kitchen. The bath and bedroom were on the other side of the living room. It was the same vintage as the café, and though it showed its age, it was neat and clean. Ginger walked over and lifted a blind that looked out over the street. “We lived here when we first bought the café. It’s fully furnished with linens and dishes. I still sometimes stay here when the weather gets bad, or if I have to work split shifts.” Galynn followed Ginger to the window. From up here she could see people walking along the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. “You don’t rent it?” “No, too much trouble, and we still use it for ourselves and sometimes as a guest house.” **** Galynn sat down on the sofa with a sigh and drew in a breath. She had lit some candles, and the apartment smelled good. She had made three trips to the market down the street. It would have taken more, but on her first trip, the friendly shopkeeper had offered to have her purchases delivered. Not wanting to impose, she’d made sure she didn’t buy more than she could carry on the last two trips. She rubbed her back and stifled a yawn. Good, she’d be able to sleep tonight. The last full night’s sleep she’d had was up at the lodge

120

Lavada Dee

with Cooper. She smiled, remembering how they’d spent that night. It hadn’t been sleeping. The smile played along her lips. When a sob threatened, she pushed it back. She would savor the memories they’d made. It was all she had, and more than a lot of women got. She’d bought an alarm clock on one of her trips to the store. If she started sleeping better, she’d need it to get up in time for work. She looked over at it. Wow, almost seven o’clock. Where had the time gone? She walked over to pull down the blind and noted the streetlights were on. Her stomach rumbled, protesting the lack of attention it had been receiving. Galynn hadn’t stopped to eat since the early breakfast downstairs. She didn’t feel hungry now either, but if she didn’t take care of herself, she would be sick, and that she couldn’t afford. She grabbed her coat and made her way down the outside staircase. She thought about using the inside route but decided against it. By going outside, she could break home from work. Instinctively, she knew she needed to keep herself insulated and the apartment a sanctuary. A feeling of déjà vu stole over her when she opened the café’s door. A scene almost identical to this morning, complete when the blast of warm air met her. There were only a couple of customers. They looked to be finishing dinner. Well, it was seven o’clock, and this town looked like it was one that shut down early. A young woman came out from around the counter with a menu. “We still have some of tonight’s dinner special if you’d like. It’s chicken-fried steak with all the fixin’s, including dessert.” When her stomach rumbled again, Galynn could have sworn it could hear the food selection. Smiling, she said, “Okay, that sounds good, and a cup of coffee.” Galynn opened the book she hadn’t finished at Cooper’s. She’d been so busy, and, well, to be honest, involved with him, that she hadn’t had time to read.

Nothing to Lose

121

She was on her own, safe for the moment. She needed to quit thinking of what might have been and be thankful for what she had. Here, her life would be nothing like it had been in Atlanta, but nothing like in Blackhawk either. She fought to keep sadness out. Again she reminded herself that she had so much to be thankful for. She’d concentrate on that and not on what she couldn’t have. She took the last bite and pushed her plate back as Ginger came out with a cup of coffee. She plopped down in the opposite booth, like she had that morning. “Did you get settled in?” A twinge of guilt assailed Galynn. She should have offered to work today instead of waiting to start in the morning. Taking Ginger’s comment as rhetorical, she asked one instead of answering. “You look tired. You didn’t work straight through, did you?” “Yeah, normally I put in around ten hours, but our dinner cook called in sick. We need to add employees, but this time of year they’re hard to find. The summer will be better. College and even high school students always need a job.” “I can take extra hours if it will help.” Galynn picked up her check, but Ginger took it from her hand. “Tonight’s on us. Welcome to Ruby’s.”

122

Lavada Dee

Chapter 14 Two weeks later The house had a fresh smell. Lucille had been in to clean, and that meant food in the fridge for dinner. Cooper’s stomach rumbled as if on cue. He kicked off his boots and set them neatly against the utility door. On the days Lucille came in to clean, he found it a little easier to come home. Still, it was almost like a model home where no one lived. “No one home. Apt description of how I feel,” Cooper mumbled. He pulled the casserole dish out and smiled at the usual note pinned to it. Lucille seemed to think he needed directions simply to reheat what she’d left. Absently, he opened the note. “I might as well get the temperature right since she goes to all this trouble.” Great, now he was talking to himself. His breath hitched. Mr. Cooper, the note started. I freshened the spare room today, and I think Ms. Lynn might have left you a note on the bed. Cooper muttered an oath and raced up the stairs. Night fell early this time of year, and the room was dark. If possible, it felt emptier than the rest of the house. He flipped the light switch, and the bedside lamp came on, illuminating the envelope laying on the pillow. Almost reverently, he unfolded her note. My Love, As I write this, I don’t know if it’s the best thing to do, but I can’t leave without a final good-bye. What I feel is so hard to put into

Nothing to Lose

123

words. I don’t even think there are words to tell you what’s in my heart. How can I say I love you when what I feel is so much more? I would have never known what making love was without your touch, scent, and sound. To know I’ll never experience this kind of love again in this life fills me with sadness. If there is a life beyond this one, I will search until I find you. Until then, you have my heart. Please live, find that someone who will bring a richness to your life that I could never give you. Live for both of us. All my love, forever. She hadn’t signed it. He turned it over, wanting more. He tried to reread it, but tears blurred his vision until he dropped his head in his hands and gave way to tearing sobs. This went far beyond crying. It was more like howling in anguish. He rocked back and forth, not thinking, only feeling the searing heat engulfing his body. **** Disoriented, Cooper rolled over on the bed and sat up. He must have fallen asleep, though he would have thought the pain would have prevented it. He picked up the note and read it again and again. By the third time, the pain in his chest had turned into a dull ache. He felt like an old man when he stood up and made his way downstairs. Shit, he could hear the TV. That meant Grant had come in and no doubt had witnessed his meltdown upstairs. Cooper stood at the door to the great room. Grant sprawled on the sofa with his stocking feet resting on the coffee table along with a couple of empty bottles of beer. Grant held up the one in his hand. “I brought over a case. They’re ice cold. Grab one and join me. Oh, and bring me another one back, too. You may not have resorted to drinking, but you’re driving me to it. And if Mom gets anymore worried, she’ll be taking it up, too.” “I’m sorry you had to witness that…”

124

Lavada Dee

Grant waved his comment away. “Get that beer. There’s only a few seconds left in this game. You missed a hell of a one tonight.” A few minutes later, the game ended, and the news came on. Neither brother had said anything. Finally, Grant put down his beer. “What happened to finally break down the wall you’ve had up?” Cooper didn’t try to pretend not to understand what Grant was saying. After he’d let loose the day the bus had pulled away with Galynn on it, he’d shut down. He wasn’t hungry and didn’t need his family’s nagging or a scale to tell him he’d lost weight. Sleep held another problem. He hadn’t been to bed since that last night with her. When his body gave out, he’d nap on the sofa or recliner or sprawl out on top of the bed. Work helped. He’d gone down to Missoula with his dad and helped acquire the property. Since then he’d worked on the blueprints for the reconstruction of the old school. Work on the mall stayed on schedule, and he’d bid enough jobs to keep Blackhawk Construction hopping through the next year. These thoughts swirled through his head as he fought anger and frustration. He plunked down in his chair and handed an unopened bottle to Grant. “She left a note. I haven’t been upstairs since she left, so I didn’t know about it until Lucille cleaned up there today. I…” He leaned back in the recliner and brought out the footrest. “Hell, Grant, I don’t know. It’s like I’m only partway here. I’m functioning, but I’m not feeling. When I read the note I—” Grant interrupted. “Don’t! You don’t have to say any more. I wish I could take some of this pain from you, bro. They say time heals. I hope you’ve hit bottom and each day will get a little easier.” Cooper knew the smile wasn't much, but at least it held a little emotion. His family deserved better, and he vowed to make an effort to appear like he was healing. “Have you eaten?” “Hell, it’s almost midnight, Coop. I warmed up that casserole and ate. Still plenty left, and Lucille made a chocolate-cream pie. I waited for you on that, so what do you say we go for it?”

Nothing to Lose

125

Cooper didn’t argue. He was serious about putting up a facade for his family, and by heavens he’d do it, even if it killed him.

126

Lavada Dee

Chapter 15 Galynn pushed the start button on the huge coffeemaker. Wyoming people matched Montana in coffee drinking. Sometimes she wondered if the cups grew out of their hands. “Must be the weather,” she mumbled to herself. Lately, even the smell turned her stomach. Customers were usually pretty light until around eight thirty or nine in the morning, unless a bus came in. Even then, most of the passengers used the counter in the bus station. Galynn used the time to bake cinnamon rolls that were fast developing a following. Lately she’d added pies and cakes to her list. She’d just pulled the first tray of rolls out of the oven when she heard Ginger call out. With a sigh of relief, Galynn answered back. She was always glad to see someone come in to take over the waitressing. The mornings were mostly coffee and maybe a pastry. It made it easy to do both the cooking and wait on customers. She didn’t mind, except for being so visible. Ginger came into the kitchen with a smile on her face. She always seemed so happy. Galynn didn’t know how the lady kept going with the schedule she kept. Ginger pulled off her coat and headed for the coffeepot. “Brrr, it must be a minus out there. Too cold to snow.” She turned around and cradled the cup between her hands. Nodding toward the front, she said, “Not many are going to venture out in this. Not even with the tantalizing smell of those rolls drifting down the street.” Galynn laughed. “Tantalizing smell? You’ve been reading books to increase your vocabulary again.”

Nothing to Lose

127

Ginger had confided to Galynn that she hadn’t had much schooling. The oldest of nine kids, she was needed at home to help out. Her limited English embarrassed her. Galynn had suggested that Ginger might enjoy reading to increase her vocabulary. Since then, the two women had enjoyed discussing the romance stories they both loved. Ginger dug in her purse, producing a paperback. “Yep, and the book I’ve got now not only has some big words, it’s a juicy—” She stopped short as Galynn covered her mouth and took off for the bathroom. Galynn rinsed her mouth in the sink. She had felt this way for the last few days. She’d be fine one minute and nauseated the next, and it was getting worse. Today had been the first time she’d thrown up, but so far this morning she’d done it three times. The first time, all she’d had was water. Thinking she might need to put something in her stomach, she’d made cereal, hoping the milk in it would coat her stomach. Nope, that hadn’t worked. This time, there wasn’t anything to come up, and the dry heaves and vile were awful. A glance out front told Galynn that there weren’t any customers. Thank heavens. She wasn’t sure she would be able to fry an egg, and just the thought of bacon had her almost ready to turn around to head back for the bathroom. She sat back down at the table and faced Ginger. “I’m sorry. I haven’t got a fever, just this upset stomach stuff. I’m sure it’ll pass in a few hours.” Ginger laughed. “Oh, honey, it’ll pass okay. Like in about nine months.” At her words, Galynn swallowed. It felt like her heart had leaped into her throat. She couldn’t be pregnant. It was impossible. She never forgot her birth control pills. She had a case with the days on it, so she’d know if she had forgotten to take them, and it hadn’t happened. She felt tears well up and blinked, trying to keep them in. “It’s okay, honey.” Ginger drew herself up. All humor had left her face. She covered Galynn’s hand with her own. “You must have

128

Lavada Dee

picked a really bad one. But he won’t find you here. If he does, the guys around here will put him straight the first time he looks crosseyed at you.” When Galynn didn’t say anything, Ginger continued. “Like I told you that first day, I don’t ever butt in. I believe in letting people have their secrets, but it’s been hard seeing you come down day after day with the look of someone who’s spent a lot of the night crying. A man who mistreats a woman isn’t worth spit…” “No, it’s not like that. Cooper…the baby’s father.” Galynn stopped. Speaking the words out loud made them real, and she couldn’t afford that. She didn’t want to tell Ginger how much Cooper loved her. It made staying away from him and all that he offered her that much harder. The tinkle of the bell over the front sounded. Ginger got up and gave Galynn’s shoulder a pat. “Let me get them some coffee. We’ll talk about this later, and in the meantime, if you need to go up and lie down, just let me know.” The rest of the morning passed in a blur of panic. She couldn’t be pregnant. She had mentally gone over and over how long it’d been since her last period and knew, as impossible as it seemed, the impossible had happened. It turned out Ginger was wrong about no one venturing out, and a steady stream of customers kept them busy until close to noon, and then it seemed the floodgates opened and all the booths filled. She couldn’t leave them shorthanded, so she stayed until almost two. Even as busy as the café kept her, she couldn’t stop thinking about being pregnant. She fought down panic. How could she have a baby? How could she risk Mick finding the baby with her? By the time she got back up to the apartment, she was exhausted. She always enjoyed the alone time. Cooper was always with her, but in a safe place, tucked away in her heart. She would shut off the world and try not to think beyond the minute. The sameness of the days was comforting, and she let herself drift in a state of just existing. With the

Nothing to Lose

129

realization that she was carrying a baby, Cooper’s baby, it seemed like her mind was waking up. She rubbed her fingers across her temples. Her head hurt. She hadn’t stopped to eat anything. Her stomach still felt upset, but she knew she had to eat. Why hadn’t she thought to bring up something from downstairs? She knew there wasn’t much of anything in her cabinets or fridge. She walked over to the window and gazed out at the street below. Ice hung from the eaves of the stores. The sidewalks were empty. She envisioned what it would look like in the summer when tourists flocked in. Ginger told her it was a favorite tourist spot for people visiting Yellowstone. Thoughts of Cooper filled her mind. It was Saturday night. Would he be down at The Barn with Grant? He’d wanted to take her down there and do some western dancing, but they’d never made it. He’d had so many plans, so many things he wanted to show her and teach her. She was unaware of the time passing until she felt a wave of dizziness. Glancing at the clock, she couldn’t believe how late it was. Her face glistened with tears, and she wiped her hand across it. She needed to get something to eat. And she needed to make some plans. She couldn’t have this baby. She finished washing her face and put on some makeup to hide the ravages of the morning sickness that had ended up lasting half the day. Her eyes were still swollen from crying, but there wasn’t much more she could do. Hopefully Ginger would be off shift and home by this time, and she could just order something to go. If Ginger saw her looking like this, she would want to talk again, and that conversation wasn’t one Galynn wanted to have. She picked up her purse, but left her coat. She only had to go down the stairs and a few steps to the café’s door. The cold air would feel good against her heated skin. Wishing for the hundredth time that she’d gotten something before she left that afternoon, she pushed open the door. Shivering,

130

Lavada Dee

she welcomed the rush of warm air. She was surprised to find the café almost empty. She leaned against the counter and picked up a menu. Nothing looked good. Finally taking the easy way out, she decided on a cheeseburger and fries. She started to call out when Ginger came around the corner, wiping her hands. When she saw Galynn, a smile lit up her face. “A few more minutes, and I would have ran up to the apartment to make sure you were okay. Did you catch a nap?” “I rested.” The lie slid easily off Galynn’s tongue. Ginger pulled the ever-present pencil from above her ear and picked up a pad. She could have called the order out, but she used the notes to keep track of inventory and insisted all the waitresses use them. “So what are you going to have?” At Galynn’s order, she frowned. “That’s what you’re having for dinner?” “Nothing looked good, and it will be filling.” When Ginger didn’t say anything and didn’t write it down, Galynn held up her hand. “Okay, I know it’s fried, but my stomach feels great, normal, and besides, it’s all I can handle right now and it’s easy to get it to go.” Ginger’s frown deepened. “Oh no you don’t. You haven’t even gotten a TV, and you’re not going back up and eat all by yourself.” “So if I had a TV, that would make it okay?” Ginger grabbed the coffeepot and motioned her over to a booth. “I guess that does sound funny.” She poured one cup and then hesitated. “You want coffee, or maybe a milkshake, or cup of decaf or herbal tea?” Galynn had never thought about caffeine and being pregnant. When her friend Nancy’s sister had been pregnant, she had limited herself to a couple of cups of decaf and no alcohol. The alcohol wouldn’t be a problem, but coffee? She hesitated. Would a fetus in this stage feel the effects of coffee? Silly thought, what did it matter? “Coffee’s okay. One cup can’t hurt, and besides, I might not be pregnant. Even if I am, it won’t have long-term consequences because I’m not going to—”

Nothing to Lose

131

“What? You think you can’t have a baby by yourself?” Galynn tore at her broken nail. Her hands had taken a beating since she’d started work in the kitchen. She didn’t have to wash dishes, but she did a fair share. “You don’t understand.” Ginger smacked Galynn’s hand. “Stop that. You’re going to have them nails down to nothing. Now what do you mean you can’t? I’ve seen how you’ve handled being on your own, and you’re one tough lady.” “You don’t understand.” Almost spitting out the words, Galynn said, “I’m scared. If Mick finds me, he’ll kill the baby for sure and then me.” Silence hung in the air as Ginger seemed to absorb what Galynn had just said. The cook called the order up, but neither moved. Finally Ginger slid out of the booth and got the food. “Here, try to eat.” The food went untouched as time seemed to stand still. It was so quiet that the hands on the clock could be heard. Finally Ginger broke the silence. “Whew, you’re not just scared. You’re terrified. This Mick must be a real piece of work. Are you married to him?” Galynn shook her head. Ginger reached over and patted Galynn’s hand. “That’s good, so who is this Mick? And how is it he has you running scared? Because you strike me as one lady that isn’t a scared rabbit, more like a lioness who would fight back.” “Lioness, hardly! You don’t want to hear this story, believe me.” “Oh, you’re wrong about that, and I think you need to tell it. Maybe having someone that isn’t going to judge will help you see it more clearly. Besides, waitresses in joints like these are like bartenders. Silent ears, we hear, but we don’t repeat.” An hour later Galynn sat back and sipped her cooled coffee. Ginger, true to her word, hadn’t said more than a few words to encourage her when she faltered. Galynn told the whole story, starting when her mother had first been diagnosed and ending with Cooper taking her home that first night.

132

Lavada Dee

With a sigh, Ginger said, “This could be a fairy-tale story if you would go back to Cooper.” “I don’t think he’d want me. The way I left had to have broken his heart. You didn’t see his face, Ginger. By now at best he’s over me. At worst, he hates me.” “What about his baby? Are you going to abort it without telling him?” Galynn felt tears well up in her eyes again. What else could she do? He couldn’t be hurt from what he’d never know. She looked over at Ginger, who still looked stunned. “Thank you for listening. I don’t know about telling the story clearing my thinking, but I do know I’m ready to sleep. I can’t believe how tired I am all of a sudden.” “And thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me. You run on upstairs, take a nice bath, and get into bed. Things always look better in the morning.” Galynn nodded and picked up her plate, but Ginger took it from her. “Oh, tomorrow when you get off shift, why don’t you run over to mall with me. Maybe look at TVs. I need to find some shoes before I’m barefoot.” She cleared her throat and added, “Honey, remember you’re not alone.” Galynn blinked back tears. She even felt a spark of anticipation of the shopping trip. Maybe talking had been a good idea, and maybe she would start feeling alive again. Never like with Cooper, but at least more than just existing. She hated to think about how she would feel when there would no longer be a baby. Instinctively, her hand covered her stomach. The next morning Galynn woke up to snow. She’d done what Ginger had suggested and taken a bath and gone straight to bed. She thought she’d be awake most of the night, but instead had slept straight through and felt better than she had since she’d gotten on the bus in Blackhawk. At least until the morning sickness hit. This time, she was ready with a little pouch of soda crackers that Ginger had given her. Looking out the window, she thought back to that first morning at Cooper’s. She felt stronger this morning. And even at only

Nothing to Lose

133

a few weeks, she felt the need to protect this little life. She again put her hand over her stomach where she knew life was beginning. All of a sudden she knew she couldn’t do anything to end the pregnancy. Instead, she’d fight. It might be too late for her and Cooper. She knew that Cooper wouldn’t want her after how she’d left, but she didn’t have a doubt that he’d want his baby. She couldn’t bear to have him be with her just for the sake of the baby. Then again, did she have a choice? Cooper deserved to know about the baby, and it deserved to know its father and his family.

134

Lavada Dee

Chapter 16 Five months later Cooper wiped his face with his forearm. It was after ten o’clock, the night way too warm for April. But then, they’d had an early winter, too. He didn’t have to work at remembering that snow storm. The night he first saw Galynn had changed his life. He slammed his fist down on the truck. Damn! He felt the familiar surge of anger. At her, at him. Why hadn’t he fought harder, insisted on confronting Mick sooner? Waiting until she had her suitcase packed had been a stupid move on his part. He sighed. Most of the time he had his emotions firmly shut down. He went through the motions of living with no enjoyment. Food tasted like sawdust. He felt bone tired but never sleepy. When exhaustion finally claimed him and he fell asleep, he would wake up feeling only slightly better than before succumbing. Ball games didn’t hold his interest. He hadn’t laughed in what? Five months? It seemed more like a lifetime. He hoped he was putting up enough of a front to get by with his family and friends. He doubted it. The guys on his work crew gave him a wide berth. They used to come in the office and have a beer after a long day. Now when they got back to the shop, they just piled in their rigs and took off for home Cooper grabbed another beam from the old building and tossed it in the truck. They’d finished tearing out the old walls in the school in Missoula. As soon as they removed the debris, they could begin construction on the apartments. He was ready to start the next phase

Nothing to Lose

135

of the project, though with his mood, it had been good to have something to tear apart. Grant’s truck pulled up to the curb, and he swung out of the door. “For cripe’s sake, Coop. What in the heck do you think you’re doing? Even if you’ve turned into Superman and don’t need sleep, the neighbors do. By the time we get these apartments done, they’re going to hate us.” Cooper didn’t have an argument. He grabbed his coat and slung it over his shoulder. “You’re right. Let’s get the hell out of here. It’s a sad state when you have to come all the way over here to haul my butt home. I have a beer waiting for us, or do you have work tomorrow?” Grant followed him out the door. “No, in fact, I’m taking off for a few days. And you need to think about doing the same.” “Yeah, sure, and do what?” “Do what I came over here for. I need to talk to you, but it can wait until we get back to your place.” **** The two trucks turned into Cooper’s drive, their lights hitting the lake. The scene before him looked beautiful, and for a few brief seconds, Cooper felt a stirring in his chest. Then, like a heavy door, he shut all emotions down again. Grant parked and followed his brother inside. Cooper already had the fridge door open. He called over his shoulder. “You hungry?” “No, just hand me a beer for now. And you need to think about eating before midnight. It looks like you’ve lost a good thirty pounds.” Cooper pulled his head out of the fridge, two beers in his hand. The effort to warm up something didn’t seem worth it, and he wasn’t hungry. Grant was right, though. He needed to get on a regular schedule and eat, hungry or not. He’d do better tomorrow.

136

Lavada Dee

The two brothers took their drinks into the living room, and Cooper clicked on the TV to forestall any conversation. He loved his family and appreciated that they’d all been there for him, but it had been over five months now and they needed to move on. And he needed to get used to being alone, really alone. As it was, one of them was over here every day. They’d leave food or a case of beer if he wasn’t there. If they did find him home, they made time to sit and talk. He’d had more conversations on the weather these past months than a man could be expected to have in a lifetime. Grant cleared his throat. “I have something I want to talk to you about.” Cooper stifled a groan. Not tonight. He could feel himself letting go. He didn’t know when he’d felt rested. It seemed more like he dragged himself through the days and nights, and when his body couldn’t take it anymore, it just gave out. He mumbled, “Sorry, later.” **** The smell of coffee greeted Cooper the next morning. Sometime in the wee hours he’d woken up and could sense someone in the house with him. The last thing he’d remembered was sitting down on the sofa, but instead of waking up cold and stiff, he had his pillow, a blanket, and his boots were off. He must have drifted off into a normal sleep because he felt more rested than he had in months, so much so that he barely opened his eyes, willing himself to go back to sleep. Grant came in carrying two steaming cups of coffee and balancing a full plate of heavily buttered toast. “Hey, bro, breakfast. Come on. It’s time to rise and shine.” “You think?” Cooper reached for a cup of coffee. “Did you stay the night?” “Yeah, I want…need to talk to you. In hindsight, I probably should have done it before we started for home.” Grant picked up a

Nothing to Lose

137

piece of toast and pushed the plate toward Cooper. “Have some of this because what I have to say is going to make you need to get yourself in shape.” Cooper did what he asked and had to admit the toast tasted good. Saying as much, he took another bite. “So shoot. From the look of your face, it doesn’t look like particularly bad news. Has it got anything with you taking some time off?” “I wasn’t sure you even heard me last night.” He paused, seemingly to gather the words he needed. “You look better this morning than you have in months. If I thought it was a turning around point for you, I’m not sure I’d tell you this.” He paused, taking another hefty drink of coffee. “These past five months have been pure hell for you, and, watching, we’ve all been in it with you.” He gave a half laugh. “Remind me never to fall in love. I’m not sure I could survive it.” He paced over to the window and back. When he sat down, he made eye contact with Cooper and held it. “What would you do if you knew where Galynn was at?” The coffee cup in Cooper’s hand sloshed when he banged it down on the coffee table. “What the hell do you mean? Do you know where she is?” Grant was unfazed. “I might. So would you go get her?” The air left Cooper’s lungs, and he slumped back against the sofa. “Until this very minute, I would have said absolutely yes, but…” He ran a hand down his face. His voice was devoid of emotion. “Hell, who am I fooling? When she left here, she was scared to death. Nothing’s changed—” Grant interrupted him. “Right, I hoped to hear you say something like this. Think, Coop, let’s say you did find her. Say she’s pregnant…” Cooper came off the sofa in a flash and grabbed a handful of Grant’s shirt. “Pregnant, no chance, she couldn’t be.” Turning loose of Grant’s shirt, he moved to the window. He took a couple of deep

138

Lavada Dee

breaths, trying to slow his heartbeat. A galley humor intruded with the thought that at least he had a doctor in the house if he had a heart attack. “Galynn was obsessive about taking her pills. She said that she’d never bring a baby into the world to be hurt by that—” “Coop, listen to me. I gave Galynn some pretty heavy antibiotics for that infection. It would have, or could have, made the birth control pills she took ineffective.” Cooper felt like his legs weren’t going to hold him as he sank down on the sofa. Leaning forward, he put his head in his hands. “This changes everything. She has to be just over five months along.” He took another deep breath. Neither brother said anything for a few minutes while he absorbed what Grant had told him. When he did speak, his voice sounded strangled even to his ears. “I can’t believe she wouldn’t tell me about the baby.” Grant’s voice was low. “That’s just it. I don’t think she’d deny you your baby. What I think is that she’s coming back. I’m guessing it’s after she has the baby. After that I have no idea, but if I was a betting man, I’d say she’s intending on leaving the baby with you while she goes back and confronts what she believes is life threatening to her baby.” Again the silence stretched out. Cooper finally broke it. “How can you know this? Why wouldn’t she just keep running?” Grant shook his head. “Because she hasn’t been on the move and she didn’t go all that far. And…” “And what?” “Cooper, we all saw how you two felt about each other. None of us question your feelings for her or how she felt about you. What you two had is special. I just think that the baby is going to make her rethink the way she’s living.” “So how do you know all this? I thought long and hard about hiring a private detective. In the end I couldn’t do that to her. It would be too much like what Mick was doing.” He ran his hand down his face. “Of course, I didn’t have any idea that a baby was a possibility.”

Nothing to Lose

139

Grant got up and walked over to the French doors. “One of my patients saw all us at the lodge one night, and when he saw Galynn in Johnson Pass, he recognized her.” Coop needed some space, and he had to pee. He took care of urgent matters, then splashed cold water on his face. For the first time in months, he looked at himself in the mirror. No wonder the family worried about him. Even the bad boy look of an early morning beard didn’t hide ravishes of the past months’ abuse. When he got back to the kitchen, Grant greeted him with a big grin plastered across his face. For a second, his heart stood still. Had this all been a sham to pull him back to the living? As fast as he thought it, he discarded it. “So get the grin off your face. Johnson Pass isn’t that far. If I leave now, I can be there by nightfall.” Grant held up his hands in mock surrender. “Coop, think, if you go after her and can convince her to come back with you, what then?” “I’ll worry about that later.” “You know she’s still going to be terrified of the ex husband or whatever, and your hands will still be tied because you won’t be able to confront him.” Grant poured them each a fresh cup of coffee and motioned Cooper to a kitchen chair, but he shook his head. He was too geared up to sit. Instead, he took his cup and leaned against the counter. Just the thought of the baby gave him a jolt of pain. He’d have given anything to be with her from the first. By now, the baby would be moving. He didn’t want to waste another minute of this precious time. “I’m not going to let her have the baby by herself. I’m—” Grant again held up his hand, silencing Cooper. “I didn’t think you would. Think, man, Galynn is safe where she is. The guy that told me said she looked great, maybe a little tired, but it was like seven in the morning. Probably just not fully awake.” Cooper clamped his jaw shut on the words he wanted to shout. He knew his brother had a point. She’d never let him confront Mick straight on. Never let him contact the authorities. Would she leave the

140

Lavada Dee

baby and go back to try to force Mick’s hand? He knew he’d never allow that. He’d follow her and…He remembered the bruises and scars. No way would that happen while he still drew a breath. He wanted to slam his fist through something. Before he even thought, he gulped the hot coffee. “Damn!” Grant shot up out his chair and took the cup from his hand before he had time to throw it across the room. “Okay, that was smart. Come on. Sit down. I have something I want to run by you. And just so you know, Galynn is working in a little café called Ruby’s. It’s just across the street from the bus stop.” Cooper closed his eyes. How could she be so close and he didn’t know? A few hours and he could be there, but Grant had it right. Nothing would have changed. She either wouldn’t come back to him, or she’d want to take back off as soon as the baby came. A spark of hope flared. She still had over three months before the baby’s due date. He’d have that time to convince her to marry him, let him take care of her and their baby. Grant’s voice cut into his thoughts. “I can almost see what you’re thinking. However, instead of going after her, what if you use this time to get a clear picture of this guy. We…” “Mick.” Cooper’s voice grated as he spoke the name. “His name is Mick. Galynn thinks he’s on steroids. She said he’d been changing, becoming more violent. Almost insanely so, losing complete control.” Grant nodded. “He could have a brain infection or tumor. Does he have family?” “Galynn said she tried to talk to his mother, but she didn’t believe her. It seems this guy can go from zero to one hundred in a flash. One minute he’s a nice, congenial guy, and the next a monster. She said she even went to the police, but he’s an officer. All they did was tell her about the stress of the job and advised her to be patient.” Grant took Cooper’s coffee off the counter and handed it back to him, then poured himself another one. Sitting back down, he looked over at Cooper. “What you’re saying makes me think even more that

Nothing to Lose

141

we head for Atlanta. You know the school she worked at and her friend’s first name. I looked up the obituaries, and I found her mother’s. It mentions a daughter survived her named Galynn Reade. We should be able to find where she lived. We can take the laptop, and I’ll research it on the way. With any luck, we will be able to have this guy committed, or if he’s taking an illegal substance, arrested. I—” Cooper didn’t let him finish. He pulled Grant out of his chair and hugged him. Laughing, he said, “Darn, if you aren’t the best piece of work I could have had the luck to draw for a brother. I owe you.” Words rushed out of his mouth as he verbalized what he needed to do. “But you don’t have to do this with me. I can take it from here.”

142

Lavada Dee

Chapter 17 Cooper glanced at his watch. It had only been a little over twentyfour hours since they’d left home. He was still reeling from all his family, especially Grant, had done to help him. He’d contacted Chuck, his foreman, and been assured that they would keep everything going. His dad had reinforced it, saying he’d keep in touch with the construction office and crew. Flying wasn’t Cooper’s favorite mode of travel, but when Grant said it was a thirty-hour drive to Atlanta, he gave in and booked a flight. Not having a major airport close by presented another problem, but they finally managed to get out of Bozeman on a late flight. With transfers, they would reach Atlanta the next afternoon. The announcement to prepare for landing was a welcoming sound. He nudged Grant awake. Both men needed a shave. One of them was an imposing sight, two were over the top, and they got admiring looks as they exited the plane. Grant stopped to give one woman a second look, and Cooper growled at him. “C’mon, man. We’ve got things to do.” He pointed to the sign with the word “Baggage.” They’d only brought carry-ons, but there would be car rentals down there. Good thing, because he wasn’t in the mood to wait at the carousal for luggage. A half an hour later they were out in the muggy, hot weather of Atlanta waiting for the rental car to be brought up. Grant pulled out his cell phone. “I’m going to call Devon and see if he has any addresses for us. We need to check into someplace, and it would be good to be fairly close to the school or where Galynn used to live.”

Nothing to Lose

143

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t really care. Close to the airport will work, too. Let’s just find this guy.” Cooper paced along the curb. It seemed like they were moving in slow motion. He needed to find and talk to Galynn’s friend, Nancy. It was Sunday, so if Devon didn’t come up with a home address, they’d have to wait and go to the school where she taught. Working like this without any plan was against his nature, but there wasn’t much he could do. Things would change fast as they gained information. Grant had the phone up to his ear and was patting his coat pocket. “Damn! I don’t have a pen. Guess this wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve done. Devon found addresses for us, but what I thought I was going to do with them while standing on the curb is beyond me.” “We’ll have him text them to us. The car is here.” Cooper slung his bag in the back and motioned for Grant to get in. A few minutes later, they pulled up to a motel. “This will do. It’s at least in the general direction of Nancy’s house.” Cooper threw his duffel bag on one of the beds. Grant had Devon on the phone again. He could hear Grant’s side of the conversation and could hardly contain himself. It made sense to go over to Nancy’s house tonight. Tomorrow would be a school day. If they didn’t see her tonight, they’d have to wait until after school, which would mean an entire day wasted. Cooper could hardly contain himself. There were more “ifs” to all this than he liked, and Nancy was the key to everything. Grant flipped the cell phone closed and turned to Cooper, who paced across the small room. “Will you settle down? It’s hard to concentrate with you prowling around.” “I know. It’s hard to sit still. I feel so…” He reached for the doorknob. “I’ll tell you what. You’re a lot calmer than I am. Why don’t you call Nancy and try to set up a meeting. I’ll run down to the coffee shop and get us a couple of coffees to go. That way if we can get a hold of Nancy, we can take them with us.”

144

Lavada Dee

Grant disagreed. “I think we should wait on going over to Nancy’s. Devon gave me the addresses for Galynn’s house and Mick’s parents’ place. We can get some sleep and scope them out in the morning. That way we can call Nancy and arrange to meet her after school tomorrow.” Cooper almost exploded. “No! I don’t want to waste a whole day.” He swung the door open. “I’ll get those coffees. Call Nancy.” When Cooper got back to the room with the coffees, Grant took one. “I got a hold of her. She sounded a little standoffish.” “And did she agree to let us come out to her house?” “Like I said, she was cautious. She didn’t want to give me her address, and I for sure didn’t tell her I already had it. But—” Cooper turned back to the door. “Well, fine, we’ll just surprise her. Look, Grant, I am not going to wait until tomorrow.” “If you’d let me finish, she agreed to come here. We’re going to meet with her in the coffee shop in an hour.” He scowled at Cooper. “You look like the king of bad boys.” “Yeah, well, you don’t look any better. Guess we’d better clean up, huh?” Grant nodded. “You think?” Cooper couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Finally, after months, things were moving. Not as fast as he would have liked, but he was getting close. **** Grant and Cooper stood as a couple approached their table. Cooper took the lead that Grant had been assuming. “Ms. Shellard?” Her smile was a little hesitant. She had a death clutch on her purse. “I’m not sure I should be talking to you. But, when you phoned, you called Galynn by her real name. She wouldn’t have let just anyone know it.”

Nothing to Lose

145

Cooper motioned them to the opposite side of the booth and slid in beside Grant. “This is my brother, Grant. He talked to you on the phone.” Nancy smiled over at them, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She introduced her husband and told them to call her Nancy. Cooper drew in a deep breath. He needed to relax. “We probably caught you right at dinner time. I know this isn’t the best time to meet, but we just flew in and wanted to talk to you as soon as possible.” He motioned the waitress over and asked for menus. “Grant and I ate while we were waiting for you, but I wouldn’t mind having a piece of that berry cobbler.” He smiled and felt the mood of the table shift. Good, he hadn’t been hungry when he’d ate dinner with Grant, and he didn’t really want the cobbler, but hey, whatever worked. Nancy looked at the two brothers. “Tell me a little about yourselves and how it is you’re asking for information about my friend.” Cooper didn’t miss the protective tone in Nancy’s referral to Galynn as her friend. He took a breath and made eye contact with her. “First and most important, I love Galynn. More than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. I…” He stopped and ran his hand over his eyes, shielding her from seeing the emotion he felt sure was visible. Nancy listened as Cooper told her how he’d found Galynn on the road. He went on to tell her how badly she was hurt and a little of the weeks she had been with him. He finished by telling her how a patient of Grant’s had mentioned seeing her. “When he assured us she was safe, we decided to resolve the threat Mick presented before going to Galynn. If she’s still scared Mick will try to hurt me and my family, she won’t come back to me. The only other option would be to run with her, but I know she won’t go for that either.” He purposely omitted saying anything about the baby. Nancy blinked back tears. “I’ve known Galynn since grade school. She’s like a sister to me, and these past months have been

146

Lavada Dee

horrible without her.” A sob escaped, and her husband reached for her hand. She pulled a tissue out of her purse and wiped her eyes. “I’ve been so scared. We both agreed that she wouldn’t contact me. Or at least not until she was in a safe place.” “It’s over now, hon,” her husband whispered. “I’m sorry.” She smiled over at Cooper and Grant. “This is hardly the time to cry.” Cooper nodded. “Can you tell us anything about Mick, anything that might help us diffuse the threat he is to Galynn?” “Oh, I can do better than that. Do you believe in fate, divine intervention?” She didn’t wait for a reply. “Things that have happened recently are surreal.” Cooper sat forward, willing her with his body language to get to the bottom line. “What do you mean surreal?” “I’m sorry. Of course you don’t understand. Let me start back a little bit. You may know some of this…” After Cooper assured her they didn’t know much of anything about Mick, he said, “Please go on.” “When Galynn left, I tried to keep tabs to see if he left town. I was surprised when he didn’t, or at least not for any prolonged time. I did hear that he had some trouble with his job, so they put him on suspension. Then about a week ago a real estate property management company gave Mick an eviction notice on Galynn’s house, where he was still living. He went crazy. He tore the notice up and slammed his fist through the wall.” She stopped and looked over at Cooper and Grant. “Again, this is just what I heard and not firsthand. I don’t know how a property management person would be involved.” Cooper’s voice sounded strained even to his ears. “Go on. Don’t worry about rumor. We’ll follow up on what you’re telling us.” Nancy’s voice shook a little. “I guess one minute he was screaming and hitting things, and the next, he collapsed on the floor. The real estate guy called 911. From what we’ve heard from his brother, Mick hasn’t regained consciousness.”

Nothing to Lose

147

Cooper picked up his cup and sat it back down without drinking anything. No one said anything as the silence stretched out. Cooper finally said, “Do you know what hospital he’s in?” “I think he’s in St. Joseph’s.” Nancy looked drained. “You said Galynn’s safe? Where is she?” Cooper told her she was working in a little café in Wyoming. “We’re heading there as soon as we are through here.” Her husband cleared his throat. “I think that’s about it. Nancy’s been frantic wanting to let her know what happened.” He took a business card out and wrote a number on it. Handing it to Cooper, he said, “That’s my cell phone. You have the house number. Please keep us posted. It’s getting late, and even though I’m not sure how much sleep she’s going to get, I’d like to get Nancy home.” Cooper reached for the check. When Nancy and her husband stood up, he shook her husband’s hand but turned and hugged her. “Thank you. There are no words to tell you how much I love Galynn. We’ll call you before we leave Atlanta, and as soon as I see or talk to her, I’ll have her phone you.” They exited the coffee shop together, and Nancy and her husband were almost to their car when Cooper uttered, “Shit!” He raced after them. “What is Mick’s full name?” “Mitchell Adams.” She spelled the last name out for him and told him not to hesitate to call the cell phone. “I’ll keep it on and with me so you can reach me anytime.” They’d parked the car in front of their room, and Cooper headed directly for it, taking the driver’s side. “Whoa, where are we going this time of night?” Grant didn’t make a move to join him at the car. “To the hospital.” Cooper impatiently waited for Grant to get in the car. “Do you realize the time? It’s just past ten o’clock. We’re not going to accomplish anything going to the hospital tonight.” Cooper accepted what his brother said. He didn’t like it, but Grant was right. It was too late to do anything tonight.

148

Lavada Dee

Grant opened the passenger door. “Oh, what the hell! He’s no doubt in ICU, and they never keep regular hours.” He smiled over the top of the car at Cooper. “Besides, you aren’t going to sleep tonight if we don’t at least try. But”—he held up his forefinger—“I want you to know I’m keeping count, and if you don’t kill us, you’re going to owe me big time.” Mumbling under his breath, he repeated, “Real big time!” It didn’t take them long to find the hospital, but the front entrance was closed. Grant suggested they go around to the emergency entrance. When they got there they didn’t have any trouble seeing the sign pointing them to the ICU. When they passed the waiting room, there were a number of people in it. Cooper stopped. “Isn’t it a little busy in here for this time of night?” Grant said, “Not necessarily. Operations can run late, and there are always accidents and emergencies. Why don’t you sit out here and I’ll see if I can find anything out.” Cooper took a seat away from the two groups in the waiting room, but their voices floated over to him. In another one of those surreal happenings, he realized that the one group of four people was Mick’s family, and that they were discussing disconnecting life support. Notwithstanding what Mick had done, this was a family in pain. Cooper got up and walked down the hall to the entrance of the ICU. What had gone so wrong that a man, obviously loved, could have done the things Mick had done? When Grant came out, he shook his head and motioned for Cooper to follow him. Silently, they walked back down the dimly lit hall and out to the parking lot. When they got to the car, Grant leaned up against it. “I could use a drink, a strong one. You realize that his family was in the waiting room, don’t you.” Cooper nodded, not taking his eyes off Grant. “I didn’t until I overheard their conversation.” “Then you know he’s on life support and brain-dead.”

Nothing to Lose

149

Cooper didn’t trust his voice and again nodded. “Yeah, I got that much. Did you find out what happened?” Grant hesitated for a second. “He was body building and taking steroids like Galynn suspected. Then he compounded his condition by drinking. He was a walking time bomb. It makes me shudder to think what might have happened to Galynn if she’d left a few months earlier. He no doubt would have gone after her. By the time she left, the only dangerous place for her was living with or close to him. He certainly wasn’t in any condition to find anyone. ” Grant paused and looked over at Cooper. Opening the car door, he said, “He ended up with a massive stroke. If someone would have listened to Galynn and gotten him help? Who knows…” Grant didn’t finish what he was saying, and the car filled with silence as they drove back to the motel. As soon as they got in the door, Cooper grabbed his bag. “Whoa, where are we going now?” “To the airport, we can probably get an earlier flight out.” “I don’t think so. And even if we don’t sleep, I’d rather be laying on a bed then sitting on the seats at the airport.” At the look on Cooper’s face, he quickly added, “But if it makes you feel better, I’ll call and try to get us booked on the earliest flight out.” Cooper didn’t like it, but Grant was right. There probably weren’t any more flights out tonight. A few minutes later Grant hung up. “Eight thirty tomorrow morning. We’ll call Nancy to let her know, but not tonight.” Cooper nodded and flopped down on the bed, fully dressed. The last thing he heard before his body and mind shut down was Grant mumbling that he was never ever going to fall in love.

150

Lavada Dee

Chapter 18 Galynn poured herself a cup of decaf and walked around the end of the counter. She’d just slid into a booth when Ginger joined her. “Tired? I told you it’d pick up after winter.” “Not really, but I’ve gotten into a habit of taking a nap when I get off shift. Probably just lazy.” Ginger stirred her coffee to cool it. “You get up early. A nap is a good thing. And the baby is growing.” Galynn looked down at herself. She’d finally broken down and bought a couple of maternity outfits. She could still get into her clothes but couldn’t zip or button her pants, and these were so much more comfortable. She looked out toward the room that only a half hour ago had been filled with lunch customers. There would be a lull now until around four when early dinner people would start coming in. Ruby’s cafe not only caught the locals, but also tourists as they entered the picturesque town. For some reason the trip she’d made with Cooper to Kalispell popped into her mind, and she felt the familiar pain she’d learned to live with. Ginger reached over to take her cup. Getting up, she motioned for Galynn to do the same. “Go on up and take a shower and get the stinky kitchen smell off you before you lay down. When you get up, come on down and we’ll take a walk. You need to walk more. It’s not that you don’t get exercise in the kitchen, but it isn’t the kind you need to make it easier for you and baby when it’s born.” “Yes, Mother.” Galynn laughed and took off for her apartment. The sun coming through the window was lower than she expected. Galynn stretched, feeling rested. What time was it? She rolled over on

Nothing to Lose

151

her side so she could see the bedside clock and couldn’t believe it. Three o’clock. If she was going to get in a walk with Ginger, she would have to hurry before her friend got busy with the dinner crowd. She always woke up with an everything’s all right with my world feeling and knew that it was because in her dreams Cooper was with her. If only she’d listened to him and stayed and fought. She knew what her life would be like on the run, never being able to put down roots. She couldn’t and wouldn’t let her and Cooper’s child live this way. She would have to wait until her baby was safe before confronting Mick head-on, but she knew she was going to do it. Maybe it was too late for her and Cooper, but her baby would have a family and be safe and secure and loved. Even if she didn’t survive, the Blackhawk family would take care of their baby. How could she ever have thought for a minute that she wouldn’t go through with the pregnancy? She put a protective hand over her stomach and was rewarded with a strong kick. **** Grant pulled up to the curb just down from Ruby’s café. He turned off the motor and rested his wrists across the top of the steering wheel. Weariness was etched in his face as he turned to his brother. “I’ll wait here, but find her or not, we’re checking into a room for the night. I’m beat, and you don’t look like you’re doing any better. Hell, you probably look worse.” Cooper opened the car door. He was stiff from the drive down from Butte and the long flight before that. Their flight had gotten into Butte late, and they had checked into a room for what was left of the night. Cooper had tossed and turned, unable to sleep. He’d waited until the first traces of morning before waking Grant. Cooper stretched his hands above his head. Now that they were here, he hesitated. What if she didn’t want him? What if she’d found someone else? At that thought, he took a deep breath. He held up his

152

Lavada Dee

hand to let Grant know he’d heard what he said about getting a room for the night and started down the street toward the café. He had almost reached the door when he saw her come down a flight of steps. When she got to the curb, a breeze blew the full blouse she wore against her body. It outlined her rounded stomach. He sucked in a breath. He had never seen anyone as beautiful. Her hair was longer, just below her shoulders. She looked almost glowing, like an angel. He couldn’t move. Then she turned, and their gazes locked. Her eyes widened with surprise. She hesitated and looked down. Could she be having the same doubts about him? He didn’t realize he’d even moved until he had her in his arms. He couldn’t get close enough, even with her pressed against him. His voice broke. With a moan, he held her closer. When she raised her mouth, he took it, hungry for her taste. Still, he couldn’t get enough, as emotions held in check for months pushed all conscious thought from his mind. She was breathing as hard as he was when she pushed away enough to take his hand and lead him back up the steps. Her hand shook as she unlocked the door and pulled him in behind her. “We have to talk.” His voice sounded husky, and he tried to lighten it. “Baby, I have things to tell you…” She took both hands and cupped his face, pulling it back down to hers. With a moan, he pulled her into his arms and took her mouth with his. Her lips parted, and he was inside. She made light whimpering sounds that were driving him over the edge. He angled his body so he could run his hands over hers. In seconds, he had her clothes off and was lowering her to the bed. She’d gotten his shirt unbuttoned, and he quickly shed it and his pants. He moved over her and rested his arms on the bed so he could look into her eyes. He saw his own need reflected in hers.

Nothing to Lose

153

She ran her hands over his shoulders. When she reached up to find his mouth, he moved slightly away. “Look at me and promise you’ll never leave me again. Tears ran down the side of her face. She moved her finger across his lips, and he pulled it into his mouth. “Promise!” he whispered. She nodded. “I promise to never leave you that way again.” If Cooper heard her exact words, they didn’t register, maybe he didn’t want them to. His arms were shaking as he tried to gain control. Need took over. It was more than sex. It was the need to unite and be one, to be complete, that drove him. He kissed her mouth and moved down to her breasts. They were fuller than they had been. When he reached her stomach, his lips moved over the baby, and he felt a surge of awe and love so deep it took his heart. He softly whispered words of love as he joined them together and started the rhythm of the ages. “I love you, with all of me. I’ll love you forever.” Galynn held nothing back and arched up to meet him. Passion and loved filled the room. In perfect harmony, they climaxed together. Cooper rolled to the side, taking her with him. He had so much to tell her. Then they had plans to make, a wedding, a future. He closed his eyes, feeling complete and whole. **** When Grant saw Cooper and Galynn connect on the street outside Ruby’s, he started the car and drove to the nearest motel. He doubted Cooper would give him a second thought, and, after all, he wasn’t a kid. He could check himself in for the night. As he drove off, he felt a sort of yearning for the something that Cooper had. Maybe it was time to take a second look at bachelorhood. It was almost eight o’clock when Grant woke from a nap. As soon as he’d gotten into the motel room, he’d run out of steam and had let exhaustion take over. Now, his stomach rumbled. He was only a few

154

Lavada Dee

blocks from Ruby’s. Mumbling to himself, he grabbed the room key. “What the hell, maybe those two have joined the real world enough to seek out dinner.” As soon as he entered the café, he spotted them. They were both sharing the same side of the booth and facing the door, though he doubted they’d see King Kong if he walked in. Damn, they looked good. A smile on his face, he slid into the opposite seat. “Hey!” Galynn absolutely beamed at him. “Grant, thank you. Cooper told me what happened in Atlanta.” Cooper signaled Ginger for another cup of coffee and mouthed, “And a menu.” “Sorry about leaving you on the street like that. You look like you might have gotten a nap.” “Wellll, that’s a no-brainer. It’s only been three hours, Coop.” His smile softened his words. “So, you two get everything sorted out?” Galynn answered, “Yes, everything is so perfect. I’d plan to stay here for a couple of weeks to give Ginger time to find someone for my job, but she wouldn’t hear of it.” Ginger put a cup of coffee and a menu in front of Grant. Waving her hand over toward Cooper and Galynn, she said, “Do you think she’d be worth much if she stayed behind?” Cooper’s laugh rang out. “You think I’d have left? Not in this lifetime.” Ginger winked at Grant before turning to Galynn and Cooper. “And like that would be better?” Cooper turned serious. “I’m going to try to talk Galynn into letting me pack her up tonight. That way we can get an early start tomorrow morning.” “I don’t have very much that I need to take. The apartment was already set up with everything, and I’ve bought very little.” If possible, Cooper looked even happier. “So, Grant, let’s get ourselves fed and start packing.”

Nothing to Lose

155

Grant turned the menu toward Ginger and tapped his finger over the rib steak. “With all the fixin’s. Looks like I’m going to need my strength.” He looked over at Cooper and mumbled, “You are so going to owe me.” During the meal, Galynn filled the two brothers in on what she’d been doing. “I finally came to my senses and planned to fight back. I couldn’t let Mick know where I was, but I found out I could start some things without him knowing. I contacted a lawyer, and he started the eviction process.” She looked down at her hands, and Cooper quickly covered them with his. “I guess that what I did caused Mick’s stroke, or whatever he had.” Grant shook his head. “It was only a matter of time. Anything or nothing could have set off that final attack.” Even with packing looming, they lingered over coffee. When Cooper started playing with the salt shaker, Grant looked over at Galynn and winked. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you packed before this guy has half the salt on the table.” True to her word, Galynn still traveled light, and it only took a couple of hours to pack and clean the apartment. “So do we load the truck in the morning, or do you want me to go get it and do it tonight?” Cooper shook his head. “Let’s call it a night. How about meeting downstairs for breakfast? That’ll give Galynn a chance to say a last good-bye.” **** The clock glowed three o’clock, and Galynn pulled herself up on the pillow so she could watch Cooper sleep. Long, black lashes that were nothing short of beautiful, full, sensuous lips that were slightly parted, he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, and he was

156

Lavada Dee

hers. She snuggled back down against him. He pulled her closer. Morning would be here soon, and in his arms she was already home.

Nothing to Lose

157

Epilogue Grant stood on Cooper’s deck, looking out over the lake. It had been a whirlwind couple of weeks. Today, a wedding. He felt like instead of the bride being given away, he’d given his brother. Not that anyone had really performed the ritual of giving the bride away. Cooper and Galynn had chosen to have their wedding here at their house. They walked up together and gave themselves to each other. Hearing the vows they’d written, the women were all teary eyed and the men noticeably were swallowing and shifting their feet way before the minister pronounced Cooper and Galynn man and wife. It was winding down now. It wasn’t a big wedding, but the guests were special. Old friends reunited and new ones being made. Nancy and her husband were here. At the last minute, Ginger had left the café for her kids to run and pulled her husband into the car for the trip. Thankfully, they’d held rooms for everyone at the lodge. Grant could see Cooper, his hand at Galynn’s waist, ushering her out the front door. At the last minute, as if he felt Grant’s gaze on him, he turned. The sun was setting, and one of the last rays of the day bathed Cooper in golden light. He looked like a dark-haired angel, radiant with happiness. Again, like the night in Johnson, Grant felt a tug on his heart. The moment passed, and Grant lifted his glass in a salute. Cooper answered with a wave.

158

Lavada Dee

THE END WWW.LAVADADEE.COM

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Lavada Dee writes Contemporary and Romantic Suspense. She has always loved to read and gained an early love of the romance genre from sneaking her mother’s True Confessions from under her bed. That was many, many, many years ago, and she has advanced into reading just about every genre out there. Her love of reading naturally evolved into writing. Lavada says, “I’ve always told myself stories. Lying in bed, doing household chores, and gardening leaves my mind free to dream up characters and build a life around them.” Lavada lives in the Pacific Northwest, where they encourage friends to drop in. While it’s impossible for all of us to physically drop in to chat, we can do it via cyberspace. She would love to hear from you and invites you to subscribe to her Blog/News on her website.

Also by Lavada Dee BookStrand Mainstream: Forever Love BookStrand Mainstream: For Love or Money BookStrand Mainstream: This Old House: Love Comes Home BookStrand Mainstream: Open House on Love

Available at BOOKSTRAND.COM

www.BookStrand.com