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Crombie Jardine PUBLISHING LIMITED Office 2 3 Edgar Buildings George Street Bath BA1 2FJ www.crombiejardine.com This edition was first published by Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited in 2007 Copyright © Crombie Jardine Publishing, 2007 All rights are reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. ISBN 978-1-906051-01-3 Illustrations by Bob Gibbs Designed by Ben Ottridge Printed and bound in Great Britain by Cox and Wyman Ltd, Reading, Berkshire
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INTRODUCTION
Once upon a time there was a young, free-spirited, beautiful princess. She wanted for nothing and all who saw her adored her. One day her prince came along, the beautiful couple fell in love and were married. A year passed and into this world came forth a bouncing, gurgling, squeaky, belching, forever-hungry pooing-machine of a baby boy. Things were never the same again…
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WHO’D BE A MOTHER? JOB: MOTHER PAY: NONE HOURS: ALL HOLIDAY: SUBJECT TO NEGOTIATION EXPERIENCE: PREFERABLE DRIVER’S LICENCE: ESSENTIAL PATIENCE: A VIRTUE
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY SO, TELL ME... DO YOU SHAG?
NOT UNTIL NOW, YOU SMOOTHTALKING BASTARD...
THE COURTSHIP
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Familiarity breeds children.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
RIGHT, BARRY... THAT‛S ENOUGH. TIME TO PUT MY LEGS UP...
THE CONCEPTION
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For adult education, nothing beats children.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY YES! YES! YES!
PREGNANCY TEST (CAN BE TRICKY)
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Mum-to-be: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu? Doctor: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
SORRY ABOUT THAT...
MORNING SICKNESS (SOMETIMES UNCONTROLLABLE)
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Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
ARE THERE ANY MORE CHIPS, DARLING?
FOOD FADS
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Who’d be a mother when... You spend an entire week wearing a tracksuit. (Why bother with anything else?!)
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY I NOW NEED WING MIRRORS TO FIND MY FANNY!
THEN THERE’S THAT NEW FIGURE...
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Those who say they “sleep like a baby” obviously haven’t got one.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY SO WE AGREE THEN... MISSIONARY IS DEFINITELY OUT!
SEX CAN BE AWKWARD... ESPECIALLY IF HUBBY HAS BEEN OVER-CELEBRATING THE IMPENDING BIRTH...
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An alarm clock is a device for waking up people who don’t have small kids.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY OH NO! PEOPLE WILL THINK I‛M HAVING A WEE!
WATERS BREAKING... IDEALLY OCCURRING IN FRONT OF STRANGERS MILES FROM HOME WHEN WEARING LIGHT GREY.
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“I never met a kid I liked.” W.C. Fields
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY BRING IT ON!
LABOUR (CONTRACTIONS) BEST SOLVED WITH EVERY PAINKILLER KNOWN... STARTING WITH EPIDURAL, PILLS, ALCOHOL, GAS AND AIR...
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“If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example.” George Bernard Shaw
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
NO! I‛M NOT COMING OUT!
NOT LONG NOW...
PUSH...
GIVING BIRTH... WHEN YOU SUDDENLY FIND YOU HAVE PRODUCED A PROTEGEE.
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“When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I’ve done my job.” Roseanne Barr
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY HOW LONG HAS HUBBY BEEN LIKE THAT? AND WHY?!
ABOUT HALF AN HOUR... HE LOOKED UP TO SEE THE UMBILICAL CORD BEING CUT AND THOUGHT IT WAS LITTLE JASON‛S WILLY!
POST DELIVERY...
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The Golden Age: When the kids are too old for a babysitter and too young to borrow the car.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY HELLO, MRS JONES. THIS WON‛T TAKE MORE THAN A MINUTE OR TWO.
POST DELIVERY... WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT ‘ONLY ONE LITTLE STITCH’ MAY HAVE BEEN A LITTLE OPTIMISTIC...
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OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF MUMMY. THE ONE MOST VISUALISED AS BEING PERFECT IS...
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
SCRUMMY MUMMY
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HOWEVER, NOT EVERYONE CAN BE PERFECT, WHICH MEANS THAT WE HAVE A LOT OF OTHER KINDS OF MUMMY. HERE ARE A FEW...
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
IMPURE THOUGHTS...
BUMMY MUMMY OFTEN ENDS UP INITIATING THE SECOND CHILD.
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Who’d be a mother when... If you can’t find your cordless phone, you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY DO I KNOW YOU?
CHUMMY MUMMY AFTER NO ALCOHOL FOR NINE MONTHS, IMBIBING CAN OFTEN LEAD TO BEING OVER-AFFECTIONATE.
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Who’d be a mother when... You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you cling on to the caller from the telemarketing company and he hangs up on you. .
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
DUMBY MUMMY NOT QUITE GETTING TO GRIPS WITH MOTHERHOOD.
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Who’d be a mother when.. Your idea of a good day is making it to the evening without being peed or puked on.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
AND IF YOU ASK WHAT IT IS, YOU‛LL GET A SLAP!
CRUMBY MUMMY NOT EXACTLY RELIABLE...
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Who’d be a mother when.. If the kids start fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone’s bleeding.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY OH NO! WHAT THE BUGGERY ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!
MUM! WHERE ARE MY SOCKS?
MUMMY MUMMY THE LAST RESORT FOR PEACE AND QUIET... OR MAYBE NOT!
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Who’d be a mother when... Your favourite film is a Disney one.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY IF THEY‛RE LATE BECAUSE OF DETENTION, I‛LL...
NUMBY MUMMY OFTEN FOUND ON COLD AFTERNOONS WAITING TO PICK UP THE KIDS FROM SCHOOL...
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Who’d be a mother when... Your feet stick to the kitchen floor... and you don’t care.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
FILL HER UP, BARMAN... ANOTHER TWO AND I‛LL HAVE FORGOTTEN THE KIDS!
RUMMY MUMMY TO BE FOUND ON HOLIDAY DRINKING VAST AMOUNTS OF RUM AND COKE.
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Who’d be a mother when... You find yourself shouting things like, “I brought you into this world and I can take you out!”
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
BLOODY HELL, WAYNE. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! IF YOU WANT TO CUT TIDDLE‛S TAIL OFF, USE THE BLOODY SCISSORS. AN AXE WILL ONLY DAMAGE THE BASTARD CARPET.
SCUMMY MUMMY NOT CONSIDERED TO BE QUITE UP TO THE JOB.
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Who’d be a mother when... You find yourself cutting your husband’s sandwiches into cute shapes.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY PINCH AN INCH... I WISH!
TUMMY MUMMY WITH THAT ‘ANNOYINGLY HARD TO MOVE’ SPARE TYRE.
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SO NOW YOU’VE ACHIEVED MUMMY STATUS, WHAT DOES LIFE HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU? THE FOLLOWING IS A BRIEF INSIGHT INTO THE VARIOUS UPS AND DOWNS OF BEING A MOTHER...
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
NEW INNOVATIONS TO BE CONSIDERED FOR THAT ‘POSSIBLE’ NEXT CHILD... AN AUSTRALIAN BIRTHING POOL.
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Who’d be a mother when... You stop criticising the way your mother brought you up.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY HAS MUMMY‛S LITTLE SOLDIER DONE A LITTLE POO POO?
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Who’d be a mother when... You used to look forward to a night out on the town. Now you long for a night in to yourself.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY YES, IT‛S A BOY. HOW DID YOU KNOW?
THE CASUAL APPROACH
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Who’d be a mother when... Cleaning the house whilst the children are at home is like raking the leaves during a blizzard.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
BAD DAY?
HOW DID YOU WORK THAT ONE OUT?
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You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
GOOD GRIEF! THE BABY‛S FLOATING IN PISS!
YES, I KNOW. BUT WHAT I SAY IS, IF YOU CAN‛T BEAT ‘EM, JOIN ‘EM...
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Amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY HI, HONEY! I‛M HOME. FANCY A SHAG?
YEAH, SURE! BUT NO MORE THAN TWELVE HOURS AND, OH YES, MAKE IT ROUGH...
BRINGING UP KIDS - TIRED DOESN’T EVEN COME INTO IT AT THE END OF THE DAY...
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Weekend: Those two days when Dad plays golf while Mum catches up on the washing, ironing, cleaning and food shopping.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
HONEY! THE MILKMAN WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU WANT SOME?
NOT TODAY... I‛LL HAVE EXTRA ON FRIDAY...
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“There is no such thing as ‘fun for the whole family’.” Jerry Seinfeld
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
NOW, DARLING, GIVE MUMMY BACK HER NIPPLE...
TEETHING...
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Precocious: A child who is more talented than yours.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY WHAT‛S THE SECRET THEN, MARG? YOU‛VE GOT YOUR BABY SO BEAUTIFULLY QUIET.
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“Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.” Bill Cosby
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
DO REMEMBER TO SWAP BREASTS WHEN FEEDING A HUNGRY BABY...
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Who’d be a mother when.. You’re up each night until 10:30 p.m. doing chores - vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, cooking, ironing, sweeping, cleaning, tidying, sewing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 a.m. and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink, or go to the bathroom, and yet... you still managed to gain half a stone.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY NOW THERE, DARLING, YOU GO TO SLEEP FOR MUMMY...
GETTING BABY TO GO TO SLEEP CAN OFTEN MEAN THE NEED FOR A LITTLE ‘ASSISTANCE’.
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Feedback: What you get when your baby doesn’t appreciate the mashed banana and avocado.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
SLIMLINE BABY FOOD - THAT‛S THE ANSWER...
YOU WORK OUT THE CALORIES IN BABY FOOD AND REALISE WHY YOU’RE PUTTING ON WEIGHT... BY FINISHING OFF ‘THAT LITTLE BIT’.
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Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2:00 a.m. too.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
SHOULD‛VE HAD QUADS...
EVEN EXPRESSING MILK CAN’T KEEP UP WITH SOME WOMEN...
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Grandparents: The people who think your children are adorable - even though they’re sure you’re not bringing them up properly.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
OH! HE THINKS IT‛S A GAME...
PARENTAL CONTROL
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TOILET TRAINING FOR A LONG PERIOD, ONE’S OFFSPRING INFLICTS AN AMAZING AMOUNT OF CRAP ON ONE’S LIFE. FINALLY, THERE’S A GLIMMER OF HOPE WHEN TOILET TRAINING STARTS. HOWEVER, IT DOES HAVE ITS UPS AND DOWNS...
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY NOW FLUSH THE TOILET WITH THAT HANDLE...
TOILET TRAINING - ‘THE REVENGE’
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Who’d be a mother when... You find yourself asking dinner guests if they’d like a ‘drinky-poo’.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY NO! YOU‛RE NOT COMING OUT.
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“I like children. Properly cooked.” W. C. Fields
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
WHAT A CLEVER LITTLE BOY WE ARE...
A DINNER PARTY IS NOT NECESSARILY THE BEST TIME TO SHOW OFF THE LATEST ACHIEVEMENTS...
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“A king, realising his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only his sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma.” Marlene Dietrich
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
IMPRESSIVE, OR WHAT?
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Family planning: The art of spacing your children enough to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
DIDN‛T MAKE IT, THEN.
ONLY HAVING THE ONE TOILET, UPSTAIRS, CAN BE A CHALLENGE.
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The weaker sex: The kind you have after the kids have worn you out.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
NAPPY? OH YEAH! EVERY TUESDAY...
THE ‘SCUMMY MUMMY’ APPROACH...
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Laisser-faire: When the tendency to want to ignore all behaviour - not just the bad - is overwhelming.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY AFTER THREE DAYS, IT BEGINS TO SLOW HIM DOWN...
OFF THE WALL OR WHAT?
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The Joy of Motherhood: What a woman experiences after she’s put the last little bugger to bed.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘WHERE‛S JOHNNY?‛
SEAT RESTRAINTS ARE ADVISABLE.
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Whodunnit? None of the kids in your house.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
SO, MR AND MRS MARKS - YOU WANT TO CALL YOUR SON ‘SKID‛...?
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Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY WELL THAT CERTAINLY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
CONSTIPATION - SOMETIMES A LITTLE HELP IS NEEDED.
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BRINGING UP CHILDREN IS FRAUGHT WITH PROBLEMS. WHETHER IT BE FROM YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FROM A PROFESSIONAL HEALTH VISITOR, YOU’LL GET PLENTY OF ADVICE ON ‘MOTHERHOOD’. HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO GET YOU BY SOME OF THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS...
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
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“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” Rodney Dangerfield
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
DON’T DRINK AND BREAST FEED...
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“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” Oscar Wilde
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY POWER AT LAST! NEXT!
CONTROL KIDS BY THREATENING TO CUT THEIR HAIR...
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“In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to discipline a child is still a mystery to most fathers and... mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.” Bill Cosby
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
YES... AND THE GLUE EFFECT APPARENTLY WEARS OFF AFTER 20 MINUTES...
CONTROLLING KIDS WHEN OUT SHOPPING...
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“Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.” Robert Byrne
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
PLACE ‘FALSE EYES’ UNDER THE BED AND INFORM THE KID THAT THE TROLL WILL GET HIM IF HE UPSETS THE BABYSITTER...
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“All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.” Fran Lebowitz
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY AND IF YOU FUCKIN‛ SWEAR AGAIN, I‛LL CUT YOUR BOLLOCKS OFF!
DON’T OVERDO THE REPRIMAND.
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“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.” Clarence Darrow
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY BORING OLD TROLL!
AND THEN HE FELL OVER...
ETIQUETTE... MAKE SURE THAT YOU LET PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE LAUGHING WITH THEM, NOT AT THEM.
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SCHOOL DAYS SENDING THE KIDS TO SCHOOL CAN OFTEN GIVE MUM THE BREAK SHE SO BADLY NEEDS. HOWEVER, THIS BENEFIT IS OFTEN OVERSHADOWED BY EVEN MORE PROBLEMS AND RESPONSIBILITIES. AS WITH LIFE, YOU CAN’T HELP BUT MAKE COMPARISONS...
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY SO WHEN HE SAID, ‘SHALL WE PUT THE CAT OUT?‛, I DIDN‛T REALISE HE‛D SET FIRE TO IT.
YOU DISCOVER THAT IT’S NOT JUST YOU WHO HAS AN ARSEHOLE FOR A SON...
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY BET HIS SHIT DOESN‛T SMELL, EITHER.
OF COURSE JOHNNY LEAVES THIS TERM. HE‛S OFF TO UNI.
NOTHING LIKE THE SCHOOL GENIUS TO PISS YOU OFF...
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Who’d be a mother when.. You end up doing things like counting the sprinkles on each child’s fairy cake to make sure they’re equal.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY ...OF COURSE, POOR OLD RAY CAN ONLY LAST FOR FOUR HOURS THESE DAYS... RECKONS HE‛S GOING TO NEED VIAGRA.
WHEN A KID OUT-DOES YOURS, GET IN A LEVELLER.
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Who’d be a mother when.. You have time to shave only one leg.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
HILARY? NO! THAT‛S DEFINITELY NOT HILARY!
SO IS THAT YOUR LITTLE HILARY?
THE LITTLE SHIT...
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN IT IS NECESSARY TO DISOWN KIDS.
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If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
HELLO, MRS JONES... SO HOW IS YOUR... LITTLE TROLL... ER... I MEAN TOBY...?
YOU’RE SO GLAD YOUR KID IS NEARLY NORMAL.
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“Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.” Anon
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
SO, JUNE, IS THERE ANYTHING THAT JOHNNY‛S PARTICULARLY INTO THESE DAYS?
LET‛S JUST SAY HE TAKES AFTER HIS FATHER...
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There are three ways to get things done: 1) Do it yourself 2) Hire someone to do it 3) Forbid your kids to do it
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
SO, SUZ, YOU‛RE GOING TO HAVE TO STOP EATING... AND JOHNNY, YOU‛RE GOING ON THE RACK...
YOU FIND THAT THE PRACTICALITY OF ‘HAND-ME-DOWNS’ DOESN’T EXACTLY DO THE SIBLINGS ANY FAVOURS.
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It is during the first week of the summer holidays that a mother totally appreciates how grossly underpaid teachers are.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
WELL, THAT‛S OVER FOR SIX WEEKS. WHERE‛S MY MUM?
SCHOOL HOLIDAYS ARE A FACT OF LIFE - THERE’S NO ESCAPE.
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THEN THERE’S THE INEVITABLE SCHOOL PET SYNDROME, OFTEN REQUIRING TEMPORARY ADOPTION DURING THE HOLIDAY PERIOD. THERE IS A CASE, HOWEVER, FOR CERTAIN PETS...
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
A WELL-TRAINED LARGE DOG CAN BE AN ABSOLUTE BOON, TAKING THE KID TO SCHOOL.
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“Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.” William Feather
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
MUM! CAN I LOOK AFTER MONTY FOR THE HOLS? I‛M SURE THAT WILL BE FINE, DEAR...
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“Childhood is a disease - a sickness that you grow out of.” William Golding
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
MUMMY! WHERE‛S THE BUNNY?
TEA‛S UP, DARLING.
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There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and their mother’s age.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY I‛M SURE HE‛S JUST ASLEEP, LOVE...
YOU LEARN THAT EVEN A FART CAN KILL OFF A GERBIL.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
DOC, YOU‛VE GOT TO HELP.. I‛M SUFFERING FROM THE RUNS.
NO PROBLEM. A COURSE OF IMODIUM WILL SORT IT OUT.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
NO, DOC... IT‛S THE SCHOOL RUNS... I NEED PROZAC.
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“The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.” Quentin Crisp
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
SO HE INSISTS ON HAVING A PACKED LUNCH EVERY DAY AND WON’T HAVE SCHOOL FOOD. SURPRISE HIM.
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...AND SO FOR A MUM, LIFE GOES ON WITH THOSE LITTLE INCIDENTS THAT PUNCTUATE ONE’S EXISTENCE... NORMALLY LEAVING THE MUM IN QUESTION EVEN MORE PERPLEXED. YOU FIND THAT...
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
BLOODY HELL, JEN, DID YOU EVER SMELL ANYTHING LIKE THAT?!
WELL, HE‛S YOUR SON, YOU‛LL HAVE TO SORT IT OUT!
EVERY NOW AND THEN JUNIOR COMES UP WITH A DUMP THAT IS A HEALTH HAZARD.
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“Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.” George Bernard Shaw
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
MUM! CAN I KILL THE CAT?
YOU ARE WOKEN UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND THEN REALISE THAT LAST NIGHT’S FROLICS COULD RESULT IN ANOTHER WONDERFUL BUNDLE OF JOY...
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“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.” Fran Lebowitz
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
YOU GET THAT FROM YOUR FATHER‛S SIDE...
MUM! THE BOYS KEEP PICKIN‛ ON ME ‘COS I‛M SO SMALL...
MUM! WHY AM I SO FAT?
NATURE TAKES THE PISS SOMETIMES... THE BEST EXAMPLE IS WHEN A BODY SWAP IS THE SOLUTION.
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“There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.” Alice Thomas Ellis
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY THAT‛S IT! NO MORE CURRIES!
YOUR HUSBAND IS COMPETING WITH THE KIDS WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO SKID MARKS.
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Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY NOW, CAN YOU ABSOLUTELY ASSURE DADDY AND MUMMY THAT THERE ARE NO LEPERS AT SCHOOL?
IF THERE’S A DISEASE OUT THERE, YOUR KIDS WILL FIND IT...
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“Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.” W.C. Fields
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.
IF YOU WANT TO MEET UP WITH YOUR FAMILY, GO TO THE FRIDGE...
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Woman pre-children: Thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs. Woman post-children: Thankful for pediatric cough syrup guaranteed to ‘cause drowsiness’ in young children.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
BRINGING UP KIDS AND HOUSEWORK IS THE ONLY CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD...
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Avenge yourself: Live long enough to be a problem to your children.
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
HELLO, DARLING! THESE NICE YOUNG MEN HAVE COME TO TAKE ME AWAY...
YOU‛LL FIND THE KIDS IN THE AIRING CUPBOARD, SIR...
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Other books by Bob Gibbs
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
ISBN 1-905102-39-9 £4.99
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ISBN 1-905102-81-X £4.99
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
ISBN 1-905102-82-8 £4.99
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ISBN 1-905102-80-1 £4.99
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MOTHER...WHAT A DAY
www.crombiejardine.com
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