A love to last a lifetime…or a dream turned to ash? Spells, Secrets and Seductions, Book 3 When Esther goes along with her friend’s candle-magick spell, it’s not because she wants a lover. But a good old-fashioned one-night stand could be just what she needs to get her mind off Ryan Jameson. Having lost her father in the line of duty, she has no plans to lose her heart to a firefighter. Not that Ryan doesn’t heat up her nightly dreams. Those erotic fantasies invariably end in deadly flames—a still-smoking echo of her ancestral namesake, whose wedding day ended in the fiery loss of her husband. A man whose dying breath was a promise to one day find his beloved. All his life, Ryan’s dreams have taken him backward in time. As he matured, so did those dreams—erotic fantasies of a woman he loves but has yet to meet. Then he finds her in Burnt Cove. But she’s not only holding him at arm’s length, she refuses to acknowledge their time-proof bond. On a magical Samhain night, undeniable desire is stronger than the walls around her heart. But time has one last test for them—one that will meld them into one, or drive them apart forever. Warning: This book contains a simple candle-magick spell, a hunky fireman, past lives, lost lovers and enough heat to start a bonfire.
eBooks are not transferable. They cannot be sold, shared or given away as it is an infringement on the copyright of this work. This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental. Samhain Publishing, Ltd. 577 Mulberry Street, Suite 1520 Macon GA 31201 Love in Flames Copyright © 2011 by N.J. Walters ISBN: 978-1-60928-543-2 Edited by Heidi Moore Cover by Kendra Egert All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. First Samhain Publishing, Ltd. electronic publication: October 2011 www.samhainpublishing.com
Love in Flames N.J. Walters
Dedication
To everyone who believes in the power of love.
Chapter One
There was something special in the air tonight. That thought popped into Esther Roberts’s head as she strode down the sidewalk toward her friend’s house. The air was nippy, but she enjoyed its crisp, fresh scent. Sucking in a deep breath, she allowed it to fill her lungs. Leaves skittered across the sidewalk, swirling in the air before falling to the ground. October in Burnt Cove was quite lovely and Esther was glad that she’d moved here to take the job as dispatcher for the Burnt Cove Police Department. She hitched her purse higher on her shoulder and kept a tight grip on the bottle of wine she was carrying as she hurried along. She didn’t want to be late for dinner with her two best friends, Rhiannon Sparks and Maggie O’Neill. The three women had met at Rhiannon’s shop, A Touch of Magick. Esther loved to browse the books and gifts that her friend stocked in her store. And the chocolate treats she sold weren’t too shabby either. Esther laughed, admitting that the Belgian dark chocolate was as big a draw as the books. Maggie was just getting out of her car as Esther reached Rhiannon’s cozy home. “Hi.” Maggie smiled and waved before reaching back into her car and lifting out a white bakery box. She used her hip to shut the car door and the two of them walked up the pathway together. “Is that what I think it is?” Esther narrowed her eyes, trying to see inside the container. Maggie nodded. “Cheesecake, fresh from Clancy’s Bakery.”
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Esther barely suppressed her moan of pleasure. She adored cheesecake, but especially Clancy’s cheesecake. The man was a genius in the kitchen. Trying her best to ignore the cheesecake whispering her name, she made her way up the walkway. Rhiannon had several pumpkins on her front porch along with some stacks of hay, creating a festive harvest display for Halloween, which was only a little more than a week away. As she knocked, Esther admired the decorative corn tied with a ribbon that adorned the front door. The door opened almost immediately and Rhiannon smiled, ushering them both inside. Esther hugged her friend, squashing the package between them. “I brought a bottle of white wine to go with supper. I didn’t know what you were cooking, but I figured I couldn’t go wrong with this.” She stepped back and handed Rhiannon the bag before slipping off her coat and hanging it on a hook by the door. She watched her friends and smiled as they greeted one another. Rhiannon, with her short black hair, pointy chin, amazing violet-blue eyes and slender build, reminded her of a fairy. Her friend seemed to have an endless supply of energy and enthusiasm for life, which was infectious. Maggie was a tall, curvy redhead who rarely smiled. Life hadn’t been easy on her friend the past few years and she was still dealing with a lot of issues. Both her friends were very exotic looking. She, on the other hand, was average in height, had blue eyes and shoulder-length brown hair. The only thing that wasn’t average was her breast size and that was a tad below normal. Sighing, she followed the women into the kitchen. The delicious scents filling the air made her stomach grumble. They took turns hosting dinners at their homes, but she had to admit that neither she nor Maggie cooked Italian food quite as well as Rhiannon did.
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“Hello, Abigail.” Esther went straight to the cat that was curled up on the low windowsill in the dining area, rubbing her soft, gray head. Abigail purred, taking the greeting as her due. “I swear that cat is more human than animal,” Maggie remarked as she waited her turn to pet Abigail. Rhiannon laughed. “She’s got all of us wrapped around her dainty little paw.” The other women laughed, but none of them disagreed. Rhiannon popped the cheesecake in the refrigerator before opening the bottle of wine and pouring three glasses. Esther gave Abigail one final scratch under the chin and wandered over to the counter to pick up a wineglass. “To us.” Rhiannon toasted as she held up her glass. “To us,” Esther echoed back. Maggie picked up her glass and joined in the toast. “So, what’s new?” Rhiannon asked. Esther hesitated slightly. Rhiannon well-honed instincts zoomed right in on her. “What?” “Ryan asked me out again.” Ryan was Ryan Jamieson, a new firefighter recently hired by the Burnt Cove Fire Department. “And you said no again.” Rhiannon paused and waited. Her friends were well-aware of her policy never to date firefighters. “I said no. Again.” She took a sip of her wine and plunked it down on the counter. “I won’t go through what my mother did.” Her father had been a firefighter and he’d died in the line of duty. Her brothers were firefighters as well. She was proud of them and what they did, but she also knew firsthand the toll the job took on family and loved ones. That was not what she wanted in her own life.
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“Men are nothing but trouble.” Esther turned to Maggie, not surprised by the bitterness in her tone. Maggie shrugged and rubbed her finger over the rim of her glass. “Neither one of you found your fiancé cheating on you with a supposed friend.” Maggie had experienced a lot of loss in the past year. Not only had she lost her parents in a car accident and her grandmother to old age, but Esther knew that the parting with her ex-boyfriend hadn’t been pleasant either. Rhiannon reached out and hugged Maggie. “I know it hasn’t been an easy time for you, but I’m selfish enough to be glad that at least it brought you here. I’d never have met you otherwise and you’re one of my best friends.” Tears welled in Esther’s eyes and she sniffed. “Stop it you two. We’re supposed to be eating, drinking and enjoying ourselves, not wallowing or getting maudlin.” Maggie chuckled and raised her glass. “You’re absolutely right. No more bad thoughts.” That set the tone for the rest of the evening as the women dug into the food, eating, talking and laughing. Esther savored each mouthful of the incredibly spicy, cheesy lasagna that Rhiannon had prepared, along with several slices of crusty garlic bread and more of the crisp white wine. For dessert, they each devoured a huge slice of the New York style cheesecake that Maggie had brought. She’d have to spend an extra hour or two on the treadmill to work off this meal, but it was so worth it. Abigail sat on the windowsill as they ate, overseeing the proceedings, but took herself off to another room when they started laughing and generally getting loud.
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“What we need is to get laid.” Rhiannon’s pronouncement stunned Esther. Her friend wasn’t the promiscuous type, none of them were, but they were all healthy women with a normal sex drive. As if her friend’s words had reminded her body of that fact, it stirred to life. Her nipples tightened and her sex began to throb. The image of a naked man with wide shoulders and abs of steel popped into her head. His hands would be slightly rough. A working man’s hands. She could almost feel the pads of his fingers skimming over her heated body, drawing moans of pleasure from her as he went. In her fantasies, the man had no face because he didn’t exist except in her imagination. Lately though, she’d caught glimpses of her fantasy man and he looked a lot like Ryan Jamieson. Too much, in fact. She’d obviously been alone for way too long. Esther squirmed in her seat, trying to ignore the fact that she was creaming her panties. “How much wine have you had?” She set her own glass of wine aside as she tried to remember the last time she’d had sex. It had been long before she’d moved to Burnt Cove. She winced when she realized it had been well over two years. Where the heck had the time gone? Rhiannon seemed to think about her question, squinting at the now empty bottle. “Enough, but not too much.” “You’re crazy.” Maggie raised her glass in salute before sipping. “No.” Rhiannon shook her head. “Esther needs some guy to get her mind off Ryan. You need to get your mind off your ex-fiancé.” “What about you?” she asked her friend. “Me?” Rhiannon laughed. “I just need to get laid.” That set the three of them off into peals of laughter. Esther couldn’t believe her business-minded friend was
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saying such things. As far as she knew, Rhiannon hadn’t dated since she’d moved here. “No, really,” Rhiannon continued when she finally caught her breath. “What we all need is one or two nights of hot, sweaty, grinding sex. It’s good for you.” She nodded decisively. “It’s a medical fact.” Esther shook her head, marveling at Rhiannon’s thought process. Only she could convince herself that it was the right thing to do for medical reasons. Although, perhaps her friend had a point. All these repressed feelings couldn’t be good for a body. A vibrator was fine, to a point, but nothing replaced hot, sweaty sex. She began to perspire just thinking about it. “It’s fine in theory,” Maggie began. “But it’s not that easy to find a good man that you’d want to do—” she motioned with her hand, “—that with.” “Sex, Maggie. Sex.” Rhiannon stood and began to clear the dishes from the table. “And there are ways to attract what you want.” “What? We should cast a spell or something?” Esther teased her friend. Rhiannon rinsed the dishes and stared piling them in the dishwasher. “Why not?” “Come on,” Maggie stared at her. “You don’t really believe that works, do you?” Rhiannon froze, her hands poised in midair. Taking a deep breath, she faced them both. “I do believe. I’m a witch.” “Of course you are.” Esther nodded. “It was obvious the first time we met.” Rhiannon looked fey and obviously had a different way of viewing the world. Rhiannon dragged her fingers through her short, black hair as she made her way back to the table. “No, I’m not Wiccan.” All humor fled as she raised her arms above her. The air began to stir and a breeze began to blow around them. “I’m really a witch.”
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Esther blinked and Maggie gasped as the candles flickered out, plunging them into darkness. Esther held her breath as she waited in the dark, wondering what would happen next. She could hear Rhiannon mumbling and then the overhead light came on. She blinked, staring at her friend. “How did you do that?” Maggie asked. “I’m a witch. Not a very good one,” Rhiannon added honestly. “But I come from a very long line of them.” She chewed on her bottom lip, her agitation plain. “Say something,” she pleaded. Esther was still trying to figure out exactly what she’d seen and felt. She wasn’t sure what she believed, but something had sure as heck just happened. “So you can really do stuff. Like in Bewitched?” Rhiannon wrinkled her nose. “Not quite like the television program. That’s fiction. But my family does have skills.” Esther nodded slowly, trying to assimilate it all. Whether she believed or not was irrelevant. Rhiannon believed she was a witch and that was all that mattered. She’d known the other woman for almost a year now and really liked her. In spite of her fey appearance, Rhiannon was incredibly grounded and practical. Beyond that, Esther trusted her. If her friend said she was a witch, then she was a witch. She had no idea just what that entailed, but it didn’t change how she felt about her. “Okay.” “Okay?” Instead of reassuring her friend, her answer had only seemed to upset Rhiannon further. “Yes, okay.” Esther stood and began to finish clearing the table, needing to do something to work off the adrenaline surging through her body. She was still a bit freaked out by the whole wind-blowing-out-the-candles thing. “My family isn’t exactly without its oddities.”
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She scraped a plate, letting the debris fall into the garbage before setting it down on the counter. Opening her mouth, secrets of her own came spilling out before she could stop herself. “There’s a legend in my family of a great love that was cut short by a fire that killed one of them. It’s said that they will be reincarnated at some point in the future and find one another.” “That’s so sad,” Maggie sighed. “It is.” Esther picked up the plate and rinsed it with brisk motions. “There’s even a journal that has been handed down through the women in the family for generations. It was started by my however-many-greats grandmother.” “That’s incredible.” Rhiannon looked as if she wanted to say something else, but refrained. Esther was glad. She had no idea why she was telling them this. It wasn’t as if she believed in the legend. Not really. And she certainly didn’t want to talk about it. She’d been having dreams lately. Disturbing dreams, filled with passion, sex, fire and death. The fact that the man in the dream looked exactly like Ryan Jamieson only added to her aggravation. She knew the dreams were tied into the journal, yet they wouldn’t stop and instead had been growing in frequency. She’d been hoping that tonight would allow her to forget all about them. She listened with one ear as Maggie and Rhiannon talked, not really paying attention, but she could feel the tension surrounding her two friends. Her thoughts were consumed by the dreams that haunted her every night when she went to bed. Rhiannon broke the tension when she spread her arms wide and announced, “I still think we all need to get laid.” They all laughed again and the mood in the kitchen lightened. “What do you propose?” Esther had to admit that she was intrigued by the idea. Plus she
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wanted something, anything, to take her mind off of the damn dreams and Ryan Jamieson. “Something simple. Like I said, I’m not a very good witch. I’ve got issues.” Maggie giggled. “You need a self-help group or something.” Esther barely managed to suppress her laughter, not wanting to hurt Rhiannon’s feelings. Rhiannon just threw back her head and laughed. The sound was infectious and both she and Maggie couldn’t help but join in. Holding her stomach and still giggling, Rhiannon went to the large oak cabinet that dominated almost one entire wall of the dining area. Opening a drawer, she began to dig around. Esther tried to see what Rhiannon took, but her friend held everything tight in her hands. She could see the ends of three red candles, but nothing more. Items gathered, Rhiannon turned to them. “Let’s go outside. The moon is almost full and will add power to our spell.” She headed out the back door, and Esther followed with Maggie tight on her heels. Esther was grateful that there was enough light from the moon and stars to light their way. Abigail slipped out with them and raced ahead, down the steps and into the secluded yard. She smiled at the cat. Maybe Abigail was searching for a male companion too. She gazed around the garden and took it all in. Rhiannon’s yard was lovely with its variety of mature trees. The fact that she had no close neighbors gave it a feeling of privacy. It was like being tucked away from the world. “So what do we do?” She stood on Rhiannon’s right in the center of the garden, watching everything her friend did. Rhiannon handed both her and Maggie a red votive candle. “First, we’ll anoint the red candles with rose oil. Both are representative of passion.”
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That made sense to her. Red and roses were associated with Valentine’s Day and love in general. “Start in the middle of the candle and stoke down to the bottom.” Esther pulled her wandering thoughts back and made herself to pay attention to what Rhiannon was saying. “When you’re finished, go back to the middle and then stroke the oil up to the top of the candle.” Clasping her candle in her left hand, she took the rose oil and began to rub it into the candle. She wished she’d taken the time to get her coat, but protected by the trees like they were, it wasn’t too cold, just a bit chilly. Hopefully this wouldn’t take too long. Rhiannon continued her instructions. “As you do this, think about the kind of man you’d want to have sex with. Be specific without naming a person.” “Why?” Maggie stopped what she was doing and asked the question that Esther had been thinking. “Because you should never try to manipulate anyone. That’s bad. What you want to do is draw someone with the characteristics you want. They’ll only come if they’re willing.” That made sense. Esther continued to rub oil on her candle, concentrating fiercely. She wanted a lover—one who was strong and honest, a man who made her smile and laugh. Ryan popped into her head. She groaned and tried to stop thinking about him. The harder she tried to put him out of her mind, the harder it became. “Stubborn man,” she muttered as she continued to spread oil onto the red candle. Sex, she reminded herself. She wanted to have mind-blowing sex with her dream lover. When they were all finished, Rhiannon placed her votive candle on the patio stone that sat in the middle of her garden for this very purpose. She motioned to
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her friends and they did the same. The three red candles now sat in the middle of the stone, the scent of rose perfume surrounding them. As Esther watched, Rhiannon stepped forward and lit her candle. She passed Esther the matches. She took a deep breath and lit her own and then passed the matches to Maggie. The flames leapt high into the sky, and the rich perfume of the rose oil permeated the air around them. When Rhiannon stepped up close to the candles and raised her hands in the air, Esther and Maggie did the same. Their fingers touched, forming a circle around the burning flames. Esther thought that Rhiannon had never looked more like a witch than she did at this moment. Energy seemed to ripple around them as Rhiannon tipped back her head and stared up at the moon. Then her friend began to chant. “Lady Moon in the sky so bright. Lend your power. Lend your might. Bring to us a love that’s true. And one that one day we won’t rue. In this time and in this hour, we three ladies ask this of thee. We ask this done and harm to none, what we have wrought here now is begun.” A breeze came up suddenly whipping around the three of them, but not extinguishing the flames. Esther shivered as the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, but she didn’t break the circle. She wasn’t sure she believed that what they were doing was going to accomplish anything, but she wasn’t convinced that it wouldn’t either. The breeze subsided and the candles suddenly flickered and died. As one, the women slowly lowered their hands back to their sides. The night seemed darker and thicker. Esther crossed her arms across her chest and rubbed her arms to warm them. “Did it work?” Maggie glanced nervously around the yard.
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“Only time will tell.” Rhiannon’s uncertainty eased Esther’s anxiety. Taking a deep breath, she felt herself relax slightly. Tonight was really about three good friends sharing an experience. It was just for fun. Rhiannon had admitted that she wasn’t a very good witch. What Esther had felt was probably no more than a product of her surroundings coupled with the wine she’d drunk at dinner. None of this really meant anything. Something brushed her leg and she shrieked. Her friends both jumped and gasped as they whirled to face her. Esther gave a weak laugh as Abigail calmly brushed up against her ankle again and meowed. “You scared the life out of me,” she scolded as she lifted the cat and tucked her under her arm. The cat just purred. The intense mood was broken and they gathered their candles and took them back in the house. Esther felt almost let down by it all. Not that she really wanted a lover. If she did, she could certainly get one on her own. She didn’t need to cast a spell to get one. She just hadn’t wanted to bother. Still, she hurried her step and was glad when the heat of the house welcomed them as they trooped inside. “Should we keep the candles?” Maggie laid her candle on the table, but Esther’s fingers tightened around hers. For some unknown reason, she was reluctant to release it. “Only if you want to,” Rhiannon told them. “I think I’ll keep mine.” Not questioning her reasons, Esther picked up her purse from the floor, and tucked the candle carefully inside.
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Chapter Two
Esther rolled over in bed and sighed, falling back into sleep and the dream world that never seemed to be far away these days. Images flitted through her brain of a place and time that were unfamiliar to her, yet felt very familiar. She frowned as she tried to recognize the landscape and the people, but the images were moving too fast, like a DVD on fast forward. By the time they slowed, her stomach was roiling and she was slightly nauseated. The room she found herself in was familiar. She was home, in her little house. Safe. The familiar down-filled comforter wrapped around her. Sighing, she snuggled her pillow. A spicy scent tickled her nose. It was delicious. Male and aftershave mixed together. Rubbing her face against the pillowcase, she inhaled deeper. “You’re awake.” The deep male voice didn’t startle her at all even though she knew she’d gone to bed alone. “Dreaming,” she muttered. He laughed, a low sexy rumble. “Maybe you are.” The mattress dipped and a hot male body tucked in behind her. “If you’re dreaming, you won’t mind if I do this.” Warm lips brushed the back of her neck, working closer to her ear. Esther moaned and tilted her head to the side, giving him better access. Strong, male fingers skimmed down her spine to her butt, over her hip and back up her side. Goose bumps rose on her flesh and she shivered, not with cold, but with intense longing. This was right. This man. Her. In bed together.
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She started to turn, but he stopped her by pinning her with his muscled arm. “No, don’t turn around.” His hand slid over her stomach, making small circles as he worked his way upward. “Let me touch you.” “Yes,” she breathed, unable to deny him anything. He made another rumble of pleasure as he cupped her left breast. His hand was large and her breast wasn’t, so he covered it easily. She pushed forward, pressing the mound more firmly into his palm. “Perfect,” he murmured. He nipped at her earlobe before swirling his tongue over the delicate whorls. Esther gasped as heat suffused her body. Every nerve ending was alive, electric with anticipation. Her heart beat faster, her breath coming in short, hard pants. She shifted her legs, restless. Her core was hot and wet, aching to be filled by her lover. She frowned, a sudden anxiety pushing aside the sexual need pulsing within her. Something wasn’t right. “Don’t think.” His warm breath caressed her neck. “Just feel.” He shifted closer and his erection brushed against her bottom. It was hard and thick and throbbed with life. He rubbed his thumb over her distended nipple, drawing a groan from her. Reaching behind, she tangled her fingers in his hair, trying to pull him closer. He laughed and she shivered again. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep you warm.” His dark promise made her pussy clench. She twisted her head, wanting to see her lover. Panic flared, momentarily pushing aside sexual desire. That’s what was wrong. She didn’t know who she was in bed with. “Shh,” he whispered. “You know who I am, Esther. Remember me. Remember us.”
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She frowned, trying to make sense of his words. He took advantage of her momentary distraction and began nibbling on her neck. She moaned as his teeth dragged over a particularly sensitive spot. “That’s it,” he crooned. “Give yourself to me. I’ll take care of you, Esther.” She couldn’t fight her growing desire or the need echoing in his voice. “Yes,” she whispered. She wanted him to touch her, to fill her, to make her his. He groaned deep in his throat. His hand slid down her stomach toward her throbbing core— The phone rang, jerking Esther from her dream. She swore and pulled the cover over her head, trying to grasp the threads of her dream, but it was too late. The phone rang again. She didn’t want to answer. She wanted to try to fall back into sleep and find her dream lover. Still, habit and a sense of responsibility had her reaching for the telephone. It might be work. She fumbled for the phone and put the receiver next to her ear. “Hello.” “I woke you, didn’t I? I’m sorry, Esther.” Esther shoved the pillow off her head and squinted at the clock. It was early. Way early. “It’s okay,” she mumbled. “Is everything all right?” There was silence on the other end and she was starting to get worried. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. “I don’t know,” came Rhiannon’s reply. “What happened?” She was wide awake now. Obviously something serious was wrong if her friend was calling her this hour of the morning. “Rhiannon?” “It’s a guy,” she blurted out. Esther let her head drop back to the pillow and heaved a sigh, wishing she were still asleep. Curiosity finally got the better of her as she glanced at the red votive candle sitting on her bedside table. Two nights had passed since they’d
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cast the spell in Rhiannon’s back yard. Had the spell worked? Had Rhiannon found her lover? Esther listened, feeling slightly envious as her friend went into the details. A date, something about chocolate and phone sex. She couldn’t keep up with Rhiannon or take it all in. She was still half-asleep. “Slow down, Rhiannon. Are you home or at the store?” “I’m at work.” All thoughts of being able to roll over and go back to sleep were gone. Obviously her friend needed her, and Esther wanted to know the details of what had happened. She didn’t have to work until later. Mind made up, she threw back the covers and sat up on the side of the bed, keeping the phone tucked between her shoulder and ear. “I’ll be there as quick as I can. And I’m calling Maggie.” Maggie would definitely want to be there. Esther promised to be there in twenty minutes. That was probably optimistic, but it was something to shoot for. When Rhiannon hung up, she hit the second number on her speed dial and waited while it rang several times. A groggy voice answered on the fifth ring. “’Lo.” “Maggie, wake up. It’s Esther.” “Wha—?” She sympathized with Maggie, but this was too important for her to allow her friend to go back to sleep. “Maggie,” she said the name more sharply. “What?” This time she sounded more awake. “Get up and get dressed, we’re meeting Rhiannon at A Touch of Magick.” Something fell in the background and Maggie swore. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” she demanded.
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“Unfortunately, I do. But Rhiannon called in a tizzy and it has to do with a man.” “What?” Maggie was definitely wide awake now. “What happened?” Esther tried to remember the conversation, but could only grab pieces of it. “I’m not sure. She said something about a date and chocolate and phone sex.” “Holy smokes.” Esther laughed. “That about says it all. She needs us and, I don’t know about you, but I need details.” “Do you think that candle spell actually worked?” Maggie voiced what Esther had been wondering. “I don’t know.” She didn’t know how she felt about Rhiannon being a witch. She loved and respected her friend, but wasn’t sure she wanted to believe. If her friend really was a witch, then maybe reincarnation was a possibility. Maybe her family legend was true and someday James and the other Esther would be united. Maybe her dreams were more than just dreams. No, she refused to believe that. She was the master of her destiny. Not some legend in a book and not some candle spell they’d cast. If she wanted a lover, she’d find one on her own. It was closer to forty minutes later when she parked in front of A Touch of Magick. To save time, she’d picked up Maggie. They’d also swung by Clancy’s Bakery for chocolate croissants. Esther didn’t want to think about the calories, but she needed something to kick-start her morning and, since she didn’t drink coffee, chocolate was it. Plus, ever since Rhiannon had mentioned chocolate, she’d had a craving. “Sorry we took a little longer than I thought.” She held up the bakery box as an offering. “I figured Ada wouldn’t be here yet and you sounded like you could
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use something.” She glanced at Maggie. “Plus it took a bit of work to get Maggie out of bed.” “Hey, Rhiannon.” Maggie yawned but smiled as she gave her greeting. It didn’t take them long to settle at a table with large mugs of coffee for both Rhiannon and Maggie and a fragrant mug of tea for Esther. The chocolate croissants were piled on a plate in front of them. “Okay, spill,” Esther ordered. Rhiannon told them everything, starting with her finding graffiti on her store the morning before. Esther had heard about that. Working as a police dispatcher, she knew most of what went on in the community. Even though it hadn’t been serious—vandalism, but no break-in—she’d expected Rhiannon to contact her to talk about it. When she hadn’t, Esther had planned to call her later today. Rhiannon was obviously tense about the graffiti and what had been written. Why anyone would write such nasty things on someone’s place of business was a mystery to Esther. Having words like witch and devil written on her wall had visibly upset Rhiannon. Both she and Maggie did their best to reassure her, but there was really nothing they could do about it. The hurt had happened and it would take Rhiannon time to get over it. The only upside of the entire affair was Rhiannon had met an interesting man—Ryland Stone. Esther sat back in her chair with a smile on her lips. “I know Ry. He’s not exactly hard to look at.” Rhiannon made a noncommittal noise, but Maggie wasn’t fooled anymore than Esther was. “You like him.” Maggie picked up her croissant and took a big bite off one end, chewing as she talked. “I know him from when I lived here as a
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kid. He’s a couple of years older, but he used to do chores for my grandmother during the summer months.” They talked about Ryland some more. Esther sat back and watched Rhiannon as Maggie spoke of him. There was no doubt in her mind that her friend was seriously interested in the deputy. The rest of it came out in a rush. The first meeting between Rhiannon and Ryland. The sparks when they touched. The fact that he kissed her and asked her out on a date. “Uh oh.” Esther stared at her friend. “From the look on your face, I’d say it was one heck of a first kiss.” “It was.” Esther and Maggie exchanged knowing looks as Rhiannon gathered her composure and continued her story. “It might have gone further if we hadn’t been interrupted by a colleague who’d come to examine the crime scene.” “Bad timing on Jed’s part.” As a dispatcher, Esther knew which deputies had responded to the call. “Jed Bearson?” Maggie’s voice sounded strained, but her face was composed. “Yes. He seemed very nice.” Rhiannon studied her friend. “You okay, Maggie?” She nodded. “I’m fine. Tell us what happened with Ryland.” Esther freely admitted she was curious. Rhiannon hadn’t dated anyone since she’d moved here. For her to go out on a date with a man she’d just met was a huge deal. “It was wonderful. It was awful.” Rhiannon continued. “He took me to The Seaside.” Maggie let out a low whistle. “Not cheap. Kudos to him.”
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Rhiannon laughed, but quickly sobered. “He kissed me in the parking lot before we went in.” She hesitated for a second before plunging onward. “Every car alarm in the lot went off.” Esther stared at her friend. “Surely you don’t think you had anything to do with it.” Rhiannon rubbed her forehead and drank another mouthful of coffee “Do you remember me telling you I had problems with my magick?” When they both nodded, Rhiannon continued. “My sister called and she thinks my problem is that my magick is trapped inside me. According to Gwen, I need to have sex with the right man to release it.” Esther couldn’t help it, she laughed. “It’s certainly justification to have a hot affair with a sexy guy.” “This is serious.” Rhiannon jumped out of her chair and began to pace. “I’m sorry,” Esther offered the sincere apology. “It just sounds so crazy.” She didn’t want to believe it was related to Rhiannon’s magick or the spell they’d cast in her back yard. If it were true then both she and Maggie could expect to find lovers and soon. She tried to shove that thought aside as she listened to Rhiannon. Finally, she asked the question she knew they were all thinking. “Do you think this has anything to do with the candle ritual we did in your garden?” “I don’t know.” Rhiannon propped her elbows on the table. Her bracelets jangled. “It feels like Ryland was drawn to me.” Maggie talked, but Esther had stopped listening. She didn’t want to think about a lover. Every time she did, Ryan popped into her head and that wasn’t happening.
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She started paying attention again when she heard Rhiannon mention chocolate. She couldn’t help but laugh when her friend told them about the disastrous end to her date. But the talk quickly turned serious again. Rhiannon obviously believed her magick had drawn Ryland to her and was afraid he might be the one to unleash the magick from deep within her. Esther was worried about the whole lover thing. As much as she wanted a night of hot sex, she wasn’t a one-night stand kind of girl. Not that she really believed that their candle spell had any bearing on Rhiannon’s date. It was coincidence, nothing else. After all, Rhiannon had been on one date. That didn’t mean she and Ryland were going to end up in bed together. And even if they did, so what? They were both adults. Maggie let out a huff of frustration. “I haven’t had anyone approach me since the candle ritual.” She turned to Esther. “Have you?” “No. Not unless you count Ryan, which we can’t because he’s always trying to get me to go out with him.” “Okay then.” Maggie nodded. “That settles it. It’s coincidence that you met and fell into lust with Ryland. Enjoy it. If it helps you get over your problem with your magick, you won’t need to form a therapy group or start a twelve-step program to get past the obstacle that has haunted you for most of your life. Right?” That made sense to Esther. Ryland coming into Rhiannon’s life was a coincidence. Her friend should simply enjoy herself. Shouldn’t she? Esther left her friend with a final warning, begging her to be careful. She didn’t know why she felt that way. She should be happy for Rhiannon. And she was. She simply didn’t want to see her friend get hurt. “What do you think?” she asked Maggie as they climbed into the car.
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“I think she should go for it. Have some hot sex and enjoy herself.” Esther put the keys in the ignition and started the engine. Checking for traffic, which was still light this early in the morning, she pulled out and started toward Maggie’s house, which was on the outskirts of town. “Really?” “Yes. Why is it okay for a guy to have sex simply because he wants it, but not a woman?” Maggie crossed her arms over her chest and stared out the window. “It’s not that, not really.” Esther wondered what was really bothering Maggie. She’d gotten tense several times when they were having breakfast, especially when Jed’s name was mentioned. Esther wondered why. Jed was a great guy. She gave a mental shrug. There was something Maggie wasn’t telling her, but Esther let it alone for now, sensing her friend wasn’t ready to talk about it. “Do you really think it has anything to do with that candle spell? Be honest. Rhiannon’s not here.” Maggie nibbled on her bottom lip. “I’m not sure. The practical side of me says hell no, but I just don’t know. It’s an awful coincidence coming so close to when we did the spell.” She shook her head. “It has to be a coincidence. There is no such thing as magick or the paranormal.” Esther held her tongue, wondering why Maggie always protested so much when the question about magick and other possibilities was raised. She was open-minded about just about everything else. Esther didn’t press it and they both remained lost in their thoughts as she pulled up in front of Maggie’s home. Maggie unbuckled her seatbelt and swiveled in her seat. “You take care over the next few days, okay?” “I’m fine,” she assured her friend. “There’s nothing to worry about.” “Right.” Maggie climbed out of the car and paused, like she might say something else. Finally, she closed the door and waved.
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Driving away, Esther peered in the rearview mirror. Maggie was still watching her. She shivered. Reaching down, she flicked the button to turn up the heat. She was cold. Nothing more. The shiver wasn’t a portent of something to come. Even as she thought it, Esther had a sense that her life, her destiny was about to take a turn. Whether it was for the good or bad remained to be seen. “Enough,” she scolded herself. She had enough to worry about without manufacturing problems or buying into the whole magick-candle-spell thing. It was fun at the time, but it didn’t matter. Whether or not she had a lover was entirely up to her. Magick and destiny had nothing to do with it.
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Chapter Three
Days later, Esther sat on the edge of her bed and looked at the candle she’d placed on her nightstand. A week had passed since the night in Rhiannon’s garden. Obviously, nothing was going to come of the spell they’d cast. She was glad, she told herself for the fiftieth time. She didn’t want or need a lover in her life right now. It was all she could do to deal with the dreams that plagued her nightly. It was sheer coincidence that Rhiannon had met Ryland. And speaking of her friend, it had been days since they’d talked. They were playing phone tag with one another. They were all busy. Once things settled down after Halloween, she’d have both Rhiannon and Maggie over for dinner. Sighing, she reached out and ran her finger over the smooth red wax. The faint scent of roses permeated the air. A part of her wanted a deep, abiding love that would last forever, but another part of her really didn’t believe it would happen. She wasn’t even sure why she’d kept the candle. She hadn’t really believed anything would come of the impromptu ceremony they’d performed in Rhiannon’s garden. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to put the candle away. It had been a long time since she’d been in any kind of relationship. She wasn’t even sure she’d be able to handle a night of no-strings-attached sex right now. It took everything in her just to get through each day. She was tired and out of sorts. She wasn’t sleeping well, and when she did sleep she dreamed.
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Crawling into bed, she pulled the covers over her and closed her eyes, praying she wouldn’t dream of fire, past lovers or Ryan Jamieson. Two hours later, she was still lying awake staring at the ceiling. Giving up trying to sleep, she sat up in bed and flicked on the bedside lamp. Ignoring the red candle that seemed to taunt her, she picked up the leather-bound journal that sat next to it. Even though she knew the story by heart, she opened the cover, turned the pages and began to read. As always, her imagination took over, the words coming alive. It was so easy to picture it all… Seven hundred years ago. The Samhain fire had been lit. Esther watched as the flames climbed, engulfing the wood that was piled almost as high as her. The rich harvest of barley, oats, wheat, turnips and apples was stored against the oncoming winter. The hay was stacked in the barns to feed the cattle and sheep during the harsh snows, and the animals that were destined for the table had been slaughtered. Now it was time to celebrate their bounty. She loved this time of year when the labor of summer was past and the air was crisp and ripe with promise. This year, she had worked even harder, all her spare time spent helping James build their tiny one-room cottage at the end of the village where they would begin their new life together. The itinerant priest was due in the next few days, and when he arrived he would perform the ceremony that would bind James and her together forever in marriage. A shiver caught her by surprise and she wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her hands over her upper arms to ward off the sudden chill. Samhain was also the time of year that the veil was thinnest between the earth and the world of spirits. Esther tried to shake off her feeling of unease, but it persisted, as
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it had for days now. She was so close to having all her dreams come true and was so happy that she almost expected something to go wrong. “What ails you, my love?” Strong, familiar arms wrapped around her from behind. James. His strength and caring surrounded her, driving back the darkness of her thoughts. It had been this way all their lives. From the time they were children, they’d known they’d been destined for one another and they had never wavered in all the long years it had taken them to grow into adulthood. “I am fine.” She patted his hand when he squeezed her tighter. “Just a fleeting shiver is all.” “I will keep you warm for the rest of our lives.” His breath tickled her neck as he whispered the sensual promise in her ear. She shivered again, but this time in anticipation. They had been lovers since the summer solstice, neither of them seeing anything wrong in their actions. They would have been married already except that the priest had missed his early summer visit because of illness. In their minds, they were already husband and wife. “But for now we shall join in the dance.” Esther laughed as he released her and stepped back to join the circle of men forming on the outer edge of the fire. The women were already forming the inner circle. She hurried forward, joined hands with her friends and began to dance around the fire to the music of the flute and drum. As they rounded the fire, each spinning in an opposite direction, she caught glimpses of James through the shimmering flames. She’d known him all her life, both of them born in the same small village, and yet he never failed to stir her heart. Taller than most, his shoulders were wide and strong due to the hard labors in the fields. His light brown hair always seemed to be a trifle too long and he kept it tied back at his nape. The twinkle in his golden-brown eyes invited all to smile with him. He was liked by all, always
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willing to lend a hand or a listening ear when needed. His heart was as large as he was, and she thanked God every day that he was hers. Her heart lightened as they continued to spin around the fire. Laughter, music and chatter filled the field on this festive occasion. She found her mind drifting forward in time, imagining her wedding and the feast that would follow. Her feet moved by rote in the familiar dance, her mind spinning with dreams. She glanced through the flames, hoping to steal another peek at James. He passed from her sight as the dancers quickened their pace. A shiver raced through her and her heart began to pound. James passed through her sight again. It was him, but not him. The man she saw this time was hideous, his skin charred almost beyond recognition, pain filling his eyes as his mouth opened on a silent scream of agony. Esther stumbled sideways, her head spinning. Impossible. What she’d seen was not possible. “James.” Her voice was barely a whisper as she tried to break away from the women on either side of her, but they held her hands tighter, not wanting to break the ring. Her stomach roiled and her skin was clammy. She could feel the world getting darker and darker. Her feet tangled and she fell, striking her knees against the hard-packed ground. Several other women stumbled around her before they finally came to a halt. She felt as if she might lose the contents of her stomach and wrapped her arms around her belly. “Esther?” James knelt beside her, concern in his voice and posture. “Take me from here.” He neither asked any questions nor demanded an explanation. Scooping her into his arms, he stalked away from the fire and the crowd. “Too much excitement and celebration,” he tossed over his shoulder. Many in the crowd nodded and some laughed. By morning, Esther knew that all would suspect she was with child.
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James kept walking, holding her tight in his embrace, the soothing tones of his voice washing over her, promising her that everything would be all right. She clung to his shoulders, resting her head against his chest, calmed by the strong beat of his heart. The sounds of the raucous celebrations faded more the farther he walked. Though her eyes were closed, she could hear the whoosh of the leaves in the trees as they brushed against his shoulders and knew that James had taken her to the nearby woods. She didn’t care where she went as long as she was with him. A night owl hooted as if voicing his displeasure at their untimely intrusion. A small creature skittered across the forest floor. Finally, he stopped. Esther opened her eyes and blinked, allowing them to adjust to the dim light. The moon was waxing and was more than half full, and the stars were shining bright so there was enough light for her to see his face. He sat beneath a large tree, still cradling her in his arms. “I had a vision.” Fear turned her blood to ice as she realized she had been given a portent of things to come. “Tell me.” His voice was strong and steady, but his hands were incredibly gentle as he stroked her hair away from her face. She feared that the image had been seared onto her brain for all time, and her voice shook as she spoke. “I saw you through the flames, yet it was not you as you are now. You had been burned almost beyond recognition and were in agony.” Burying her face against his chest, she clutched his shirt tight in her hands. “You were dying.” James carefully pried her hands from his clothing and tipped up her chin. “None of us knows what the future may hold, my love. We can but live each day
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the best way we can. Perhaps this was but a warning. I will be careful, but there is naught else we can do.” Esther wanted to scream and cry and shout at God. Why give her such a love only to take it away from her? She desperately wanted to believe that James was right. Perhaps it was a warning and not a portent at all. Cupping her face in his hands, James lowered his mouth. His lips were warm and soft as they skimmed across hers. Threading her fingers though his hair, she tugged him closer. James was life and happiness, and she needed him to drive away the darkness. Parting her lips, she coaxed his tongue inside. Heat swamped her as he explored the dark cavern, pooling at the apex of her thighs. Her breasts swelled, pushing against the coarse fabric of her dress. His hands slipped from her face, sliding over her neck and upper arms, setting her skin afire with his touch. His palm covered her breast, squeezing gently. Esther pushed herself farther into his hand, urging him on. His cock was lengthening and hardening against her hip and she longed to take him inside her. “Let me love you.” He voiced her very thoughts as he tore his mouth from hers and left a trail of hot openmouthed kisses on her neck. “Aye.” There was no thought of denial. In her heart, this man was her husband. “Warm me. Drive away the dark vision.” James shifted her so that she was sitting on the ground. Surging to his feet, he tore his shirt over his head and spread it on the ground next to her. He kicked off his shoes and yanked his pants off. Naked, he stood before her, offering her everything that he was. She could do no less. Coming to her feet, she unlaced the front of her dress. “Let me.” His voice was hoarse with desire and she would deny him nothing. She dropped her hand back to her sides, giving him silent permission.
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His fingers tugged the laces wide, tracing the valley between her breasts. Her breath caught as the back of his hand stroked the curve of her breast. He ran his finger across her collarbone before settling his hands on her shoulders. Ever so slowly, he pushed the coarse fabric over her shoulders and arms. When it was free of her hands, it fell to the ground and pooled at her feet. She stepped out of her dress and James spread it next to his shirt, creating a makeshift bed for them. Dressed now in only her cotton shift, shoes and woolen stockings, she felt hot and cold at the same time as James continued to stare at her. She could see the wonder and the love in his eyes as he reached out and cupped her breasts in his hands. Her puckered nipples were visible though the thin cloth and she moaned when he traced them with his thumbs. “You are so beautiful, Esther.” She wanted to be with him now. Wanted to feel the heat and hardness of his body against her and within her. Stepping back, she bent down and shucked her shoes and stockings. Without stopping, she tugged her shift over her head, letting it drop to the forest floor. Lowering herself onto the spread clothing, she held out her hand to him. “Come love me.” “Always,” he assured her as he stretched out beside her. “Nothing will ever change my love for you. Not time or circumstance.” His words shook her to her core as her earlier vision sprang back to mind. Desperately wanting to bury it, she tugged him toward her, offering herself without reserve. James’s hand was warm on the small mound of her belly as he leaned down and claimed her with his mouth. The kiss was thick with passion, stealing the breath from her body. His hand stroked upward until he could cup her breast, teasing her distended nipple mercilessly. Her hips rocked, searching for his hardness, wanting him to fill the aching void within her. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as he continued to plunder her mouth.
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He tore his mouth away, leaving her gasping for breath as he lowered his head to her breast. He kissed the tiny heart-shaped birthmark on the inner curve of her left breast, as he always did, before he covered the swollen tip and suckled. A cry was wrung from Esther’s lips as she arched toward him, wanting to get closer. The hand on her other breast disappeared abruptly, quickly skimming down her torso and belly toward the thatch of hair between her thighs. Eagerly, she parted them, wanting his touch. She was already wet for him, ready for him to claim her. His fingers sifted through the curly hair before stroking the damp folds of her sex. She was panting hard now, so close to finding satisfaction. But she didn’t want that. Not yet. She wanted his hardness buried within her so they could both reach the peak together. “Now, James.” He shuddered and she could feel the flex of his cock against her hip as he pulled away and levered himself over her. She opened her legs wider and moaned as he settled atop her, bracing his weight on his forearms. His erection brushed against her opening and she cried out again, raising her hips off the ground. James fit the tip of his cock within her and held himself steady. “I love you, Esther.” He surged forward, burying himself to the hilt. They’d made love several times before, but it still felt as if each time was the first. She thought she would burst, unable to contain all the love she felt for this man. It was if they had been fashioned specifically for one another, and not just sexually, but in every aspect of their lives. Her hands gripped his shoulders. They were slick with sweat, his muscles bunching with exertion as he held himself still. His forearms quivered as he dropped his forehead to hers. “I cannot wait.”
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“Then don’t.” Wrapping her legs around the backs of his thighs, she held on tight as he began to love her. His strokes were long and slow at first. He sat back suddenly, gripping her hips in his hands as he plunged deep and hard and fast. Esther dug her fingers into the warm, hard ground beneath her, searching desperately for something to hold on to. The heat between them was overwhelming as it surged to engulf her completely. Her inner muscles were clamped down hard on his cock and she knew she was close. James wrapped one strong arm around her as he continued to hammer into her. With his free hand, he stroked the small bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs. Esther exploded. Bucking and crying incoherently, she reached out to him. James hips continued to pump frantically. He stiffened, crying out. She could feel the flood of his seed within her as he pulsed hot and hard in her core, her inner muscles milking him dry. He slumped forward, all but collapsing upon her. She welcomed him with open arms, loving the feeling of his large body covering hers. Now that the heat of passion had passed, the cool night air began to chill her. James stirred, raised his head and smiled at her as he brushed a lock of hair from her face. “All will be well. Trust me.” Esther was still hanging onto his words of hope several days later. The further it got from Samhain the more the image faded from her mind. Perhaps she was just being foolish and overly emotional. It was well known that when a woman was with child her emotions were volatile. She smiled softly as she stroked the slight bulge of her belly. She’d meant to tell James about their child on the night of the Samhain fire, but she’d gotten distracted by all that had happened. By her count, she was about three months along. Esther suspected
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that her mother knew, but she had said nothing. It was a good thing that the priest had come. “Are you ready, Esther?” Her father stood in the doorway, waiting for her. Taking a deep breath, she walked toward him, forever leaving behind her childhood home. “I’m ready.” “He’s a good man or I’d not let him have you,” her father uttered gruffly as he placed her arm in the crook of his. “I know.” She gave him a saucy smile. “I would not have him if he was not as good as you.” Her father threw back his head, his booming laughter shaking the rafters of the three-room cottage. She glanced around one final time before stepping through the front door and making the walk to the center of the village where everyone awaited. James stood handsome and proud before the priest, waiting for her to join him. The second she was beside him, he clasped her hand in his and gave her an encouraging squeeze. The priest smiled at them both and began. The ceremony was a blur and then James was bending down to kiss her. In a daze, she kissed him back. The villagers laughed and cheered as they greeted the newly joined couple. Happiness filled her as she realized that they were finally about to start their life together. Surely no woman had ever been as blessed as she. The feasting and celebrating lasted the afternoon and into the evening as everyone was in good spirits. The sun was barely set when a scream split the air. Everyone froze in place and Esther’s heart clenched as an unreasonable fear took hold of her. One of the older women pointed to the far end of the village. “Fire!”
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Sure enough, dark plumes of smoke were encircling a cottage. Dropping everything, they all raced toward the growing blaze. Esther pushed herself, running as fast as she could, but she knew she’d be too late. James was in the lead, his long legs outdistancing everyone. As she watched in horror, he threw himself though the smoke-filled doorway. Men and women alike formed a bucket line from the village well. Water sloshed as wooden buckets were quickly passed up the line and dumped on the cottage. Empty, they were raced back to the well for refilling. Other men beat at the flames with shovels, trying desperately to extinguish it. Esther froze, unable to take her eyes from the doorway. Her nightmare image was becoming reality. Gasping, she fell to her knees as James broke thought the entryway with an elderly woman clutched in his arms. Coughing, he stumbled a few feet and lowered her safely to the ground where several women quickly surrounded her. “Robert is still inside,” the woman cried. James nodded and as he raised his head, his soot-stained face met hers. She knew in her heart that he could not leave an elderly man to burn in the flames. He would not be the man that she loved if he could. Flames now licked the edges of the doorway. Several men attempted to enter, but pulled back from the intense heat. James pushed them aside and plunged inside. Esther remained on her knees, praying fervently to God to save both James and Robert. Water was tossed on the blaze as the villagers worked tirelessly to contain the fire. If they failed, it might spread to all their homes. James appeared in the entrance, practically throwing the elderly man from the grasping clutches of the flames. Before he could step to safety the building groaned and a huge crack rent the eerie silence that seemed to surround her. A wall of flame shot high in the air as the beams of the cottage collapsed. James threw himself forward and for a brief moment she thought that he’d made it. But
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like some covetous demon, the fiery beams collapsed around him, trapping most of his body within the flames. He screamed as he fell beneath its rage. Surging to her feet, she raced toward him, fighting off the men who struggled to pull him from the wreckage. Others continued to toss water onto him, hoping to keep the fire at bay. Ignoring the heat that singed her skin, she knelt by his side and lightly gripped his burned hand. “Hurry,” she pleaded with the men who fought to free him. Her eyes met her father’s and she had to look away, unable to bear the pity in them. James was unconscious, but she brushed his now blackened hair from his face. One side was burned, but the other was untouched. Esther didn’t care what he looked like as long as he lived. “Stand back, Esther,” her father yelled. She reluctantly stepped away and watched as the men lifted the smoldering wood and dragged his body from the wreckage. She bit her lip, drawing blood, as his mangled form was revealed. “Bring him this way.” Determination filled her as she led the way to their tiny one-room cottage. She would save him by whatever means was necessary. The alternative was unthinkable. They laid him on the bed and she quickly went to work, trying to peel his clothing from him, but it had fused to his flesh. James cried out, his eyes opening as his hand reached out to her. She grasped it as tightly as she dared. “Sorry,” he choked out, licking his dry lips. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” “I love you, James. You’ll get well.” But her words were false and they both knew it. Despair filled her. “Baby,” he whispered. Her eyes widened and a whisper of a smile crossed his lips before he coughed and groaned again. “Raise him well.” “Not without you, James,” she cried, unable to be strong any longer.
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His hand shifted until he was grasping hers tight. “Nothing can change our love. Not time or distance.” His voice was getting weaker. “I will find you again some day. Promise me…” “Promise you what, James? Anything?” She brushed his hair from his eyes. “Write it down. Tell the story to each generation. Somewhere, somehow, my soul will find yours again.” The last, desperate burst of energy depleted him, the life force draining from him as he closed his eyes. Tears streamed unchecked down her cheeks as she leaned down and kissed him. “I promise, James.” Her words were but a whisper, but she knew he heard them. His lips curved up in a smile and his face relaxed as if all pain had fled him. And while Esther kissed him to seal her promise, James passed from this world to the one beyond.
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Chapter Four
Esther closed the ancient leather-bound book, blinking hard to clear the tears clouding her vision. Her ancestor had kept her promise, even though it had taken her ten years to learn to write and to be able to afford even the most meager of writing materials. She sniffed and swiped at the tear that trickled down her cheek. She knew the story by heart, had read it a thousand times before, had grown up being told the legend like other children were told fairy tales. The tragic tale of love lost was part of her family legacy and one she was determined not to follow. Her fingers traced the heavy binding and she took a deep breath. The story was always so real, as if she’d lived it rather than just read about it. Esther stared at the bright yellow wall in front of her, trying to make sense of her dreams and her emotions. She’d been restless for days now. She felt as though she was waiting for something or someone. Waiting. Always waiting. But she wasn’t quite sure what she was waiting for. She didn’t believe in reincarnation. Her family story was just that. A story. And she’d certainly given up all hope of finding a lover. Esther glanced at the clock on the bedside table and groaned. She’d spent so much time reading that it was time for her to get ready to go to work. So much for her nap. She’d just have to live with being tired and suck it up. Carefully, she placed the book on the bedside table, allowing her fingers to caress the faded binding and worn leather. Her gaze once again fell on the red
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candle she’d brought home from Rhiannon’s. Candle magic. A spell to bring a lover. She looked away, feeling like she was somehow betraying her ancestors’ story by wanting less than they’d shared together. She sighed as she threw back the patchwork quilt that covered her and headed to the bathroom. Sleep had eluded her, even though she desperately needed a nap before she went to work. Fortunately, this was her last evening covering the nightshift. After tonight she had three whole days off before she went back on days. Padding out of her bedroom and down the short hallway, she raised her arms over her head, stretching them to work out the kinks in her neck and shoulders. She didn’t want to think too hard about the reason she wasn’t sleeping well these past few weeks. Dreams. Not just any dreams, but dreams of Esther and James and the life they had lived hundreds of years ago. She’d had dreams in the past, especially around the time of Samhain, but never like this. In the way of nighttime visions, somehow she’d ended up in the role of her ancestor, but it was James’s face that bothered her the most. He bore an uncanny resemblance to Ryan Jamieson. She turned on the water and adjusted the temperature before peeling off her nightgown and stepping under the hot spray. The water cascaded down her body and Esther turned her back to it, not able to bare the jet of water touching her breasts. They were uncommonly sensitive these days. In fact, her whole body seemed more alive, as though she were simply waiting for a lover to touch her. Pleasure her. Grabbing the soap, she quickly washed and rinsed. As she reached for the shampoo, her thoughts drifted back to the first day she’d met Ryan. As a dispatcher for the Burnt Cove Police Department, she was responsible for handling all calls to the police and fire departments, as well as the 911 calls.
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Even though her job could be demanding and stressful, she liked it. More importantly, she enjoyed the people she worked with, the men and women on the front lines who made such a difference to their community, saving lives and property and keeping the peace. But more than that, they were good people, some of them she even considered close friends. Lathering her hair, she turned and stuck her head under the flow of water. When the suds were all rinsed away, she flicked off the taps, grabbed a towel and stepped out onto the bathmat. She patted her skin dry and wrapped the towel around her body before picking up her hair dryer. While she brushed and dried her hair, her mind once again wandered back to Ryan. She’d been sitting in front of her console, just finishing up a call when Abe King, the Fire Chief, had come up behind her. Esther had known they’d hired a new man at the fire department and had turned with a ready smile only to find it frozen on her face when she caught her first glimpse of him. Tall, broad-shouldered and extremely fit, he would catch any woman’s attention. But it was his eyes that held her captive. Golden-brown in color, they stared at her unblinkingly like some predator who’d just sighted prey. It hadn’t taken much imagination on her part to realize that he’d set his sights on her. Setting her hair dryer on the counter, Esther swiped her hand over the foggy mirror and stared. She didn’t understand the intensity of his attraction. Yes, she was good-looking in a girl-next-door sort of way, but she was by no means a knockout. She was average height, and while she was in good shape, her breasts were a little below average in size. Her skin wasn’t too pale and tanned easily, which accentuated her blue eyes. Her medium brown hair fell straight to her shoulders and she usually clipped it back in a large barrette for work. It tended to get
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natural blond streaks in the summer, which she loved, but summer was long past and the light streaks were quickly vanishing. Shaking her head, she grabbed an intricately designed silver barrette and clasped her hair back from her face. She moisturized her skin and also added a light coating of mascara and lip-gloss, not bothering with anything more. Her summer tan hadn’t completely faded yet and she still had a nice color in her cheeks. Hurrying back to her bedroom, she dressed quickly as she glanced at the clock. She was going to be late if she didn’t move it. She’d spent longer than she’d thought absorbed in her musings of Ryan and the journal of her ancestor. The book had been rebound and translated many, many times over the years, but it had remained intact with the original writing still within the pages. Every so often she felt compelled to take out the book and read the tragic love story. She had no idea why. The ending never changed. James still died and Esther was still left alone to raise their child. In every generation of her family, one girl child was named after the woman who had written those heartbreaking words. It was always the girl who bore the same heart-shaped birthmark as the original Esther. It was this woman’s duty to keep the book safe and add to its pages, and over the generations each woman had dutifully done so. Most of the women had lived long and normal lives, but some of them had not been lucky in love. One of the Esthers had her husband killed in the Civil War, while another had lost her fiancé to World War I. Both had died as a result of a fire. And they weren’t the only tragedies. Each woman had added her own heartbreaking story to the mix and the book had grown thicker. Esther felt their pain and sadness right to her very soul.
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Esther bore the name with pride, even if she was determined to avoid her namesake’s fate. She would be one of those women with a safe, unassuming life. Someday she would have to take pen in hand and write her story, adding to the family legacy. But that day had not come. Not yet. Striding down the hall, she grabbed her purse and keys from the table that sat beside her front door. Pushing all thoughts of the past and the journal from her mind, she locked the door securely behind her and hastened to her car. If she didn’t encounter any problems, she should just make it to work on time.
Several hours later, Esther sat back and sipped her green tea, savoring the crisp, fresh flavor. While the men and women around her preferred to guzzle coffee all day, she wanted no part of the bitter brew. She came from a family of tea drinkers. Grinning, she remembered the shock and disbelief that had met her the first time she’d turned down coffee when she’d come to work here. Even though she’d worked here for two years now, many of her coworkers still shook their heads in mock dismay when they saw her enjoying her tea. It was sometimes hard for her to believe how quickly the past two years had flown by. It seemed like only yesterday that she’d left Baltimore and her family behind, needing to get away from the memories of the past and the protectiveness of her older brothers. Her brothers, Ian and Brian, had protested vehemently when she’d told them she was moving. Surprisingly enough, her mother had been the one who had understood Esther’s need to strike out on her own. She’d been sad to see her daughter moving away from the town she’d lived in her entire life, but she’d given her approval and that was all that had mattered to Esther.
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Still, firefighting was in her blood. She’d grown up within the tight-knit community of firefighting, and she understood what they did was brave and necessary, but she needed to remove herself from it. At least a little. Working as a dispatcher was a way to stay involved without becoming too involved. She still worried about her brothers, but it wasn’t the same gutwrenching fear that had hit her every time they had gone out on a call. Now that she was no longer a part of their everyday lives, she was better able to handle the fact they risked their lives on a daily basis. Although she’d been certain her decision was the right one for her, it had still been incredibly hard to leave Baltimore behind. She’d cried when it was time to go. She was not only leaving behind her family, but lifelong friends as well. She went home to visit several times a year and her family had all been to Burnt Cove, but it wasn’t the same. Even though she’d made a good life for herself here, she missed them. But she still didn’t regret the move. It had been the right thing for her to do. Esther took another sip of her tea before placing her mug aside. Thankfully, it had been slow so far this evening. But, as she well knew, that could change in the blink of an eye. She sensed Ryan’s presence before she saw him. It had been like that from the very first time she’d met him. She felt as though her entire body was tuned to his. She knew when he entered a room and when he left, even if she never laid eyes on him. Although he’d worked here for several months now, she still felt uneasy around him. It wasn’t that she thought he would hurt her physically, but some deep feminine instinct warned her this man could be a danger to her emotional well being.
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“Still drinking that dishwater?” Ryan smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. She picked up her cup and raised it in a mock salute. “It’s better than that swill you boys drink at the fire hall.” “I’m not so sure about that.” He sauntered across the room and leaned his hips against the edge of her desk. She couldn’t help but notice how his biceps flexed when he crossed his arms over his massive chest. She was extremely aware of his presence. The heat and sheer sensual magnetism of the man was astounding. Her clothing always felt too tight whenever when he was near and, in spite of her best efforts, she always became aroused whenever he was around. “I’ll stick to this.” She willed a call to come in. Anything. But the lines were all silent. “I was wondering if you’d like to go out tomorrow night? Maybe have some dinner, take a walk on the beach?” His tone was easygoing, almost indifferent, but his eyes practically scorched her with barely banked desire. She’d been expecting it. He’d asked her out before, several times, but she’d always declined. He took her refusal with equanimity and a smile, but always asked again. Taking a deep breath, she did what she knew she had to do. “I told you that I don’t date firefighters. You’ll have to respect my wishes on that.” “Maybe I can change your mind. It’s only dinner and a walk. What can it hurt?” It sounded so reasonable that she almost changed her mind. Almost. Rightly or wrongly, she had a deep-seated phobia of losing someone she loved to fire. The fear probably began during her childhood when she’d first
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been told the stories of Esther and James, and was solidified with the death of her father. For a family steeped in the tragedy of fire, they all seemed to be drawn to it, tempted by its horrible beauty and power. Her father had been a firefighter and both her brothers were too. There was no way in hell she was getting romantically involved with one. She had more than enough nightmares now without adding to them. She shook her head. “I’m sorry.” The words were bitter on her tongue, but she didn’t take them back. He nodded and pushed away from her desk. “Maybe next time?” It was what he said every time she turned him down. He reached out as if to touch her, but dropped his hand back by his side. He turned and strode away. He didn’t look back. She knew because she couldn’t tear her gaze away from him. By the time she got home from work the next morning and crawled into bed, she was exhausted. Her thoughts still went immediately to Ryan. What would it have felt like to have his hands on her? What would she have done if he’d reached out and touched her? Esther groaned and rolled onto her back, cursing the man. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? That was what she wanted. Wasn’t it? Of course it was, she assured herself. She was just exhausted and desperately needed to sleep. That was the only reason she was thinking about Ryan touching her, stroking those large, broad hands over every square inch of her skin. He’d start at her ankles and slide his hands up her calves and thighs, over her belly and torso. Her breasts felt heavy and it was all too easy to imagine his palms covering them, stroking them.
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Her breathing quickened and she bit her lip as a throbbing began low in her belly. She was aroused, but she didn’t want to be. She was tired, but too wound up to sleep. She thought about dragging out her vibrator, but knew it wouldn’t satisfy her. The longing within her went too deep to be satisfied by a batteryoperated machine. She wanted to feel the weight of a man over her and around her as he thrust deep into her body. Groaning, she flopped over onto her side and tried to stop thinking about Ryan and their two sweaty bodies sliding together. The weather had turned unseasonably warm in the last two days and the slight breeze blowing in through the window did little to dispel the heat within her. She forced herself to take one deep breath and then another and another. Finally the tension began to fade. Her breathing evened out and her limbs relaxed. The dream began as it always did… Strong arms wrapped around her from behind, one supporting her head, the other tucked around her waist. She could feel the hard plane of his chest against her back and sense the tension in his body. His erection was pressed against the curve of her behind, hot and hard and ready. She couldn’t resist pushing her ass against him, smiling to herself when he groaned. His rumble of pleasure vibrated against her skin. Warm lips pressed against her nape, moving slowly down to the curve of her back. The caress sent shivers racing down her spine. Curling her feet behind her, she rubbed them up and down the front of his hair-roughened calves. He sighed, his breath ruffling her hair. The hand at her waist journeyed inward until it rested flat against her stomach. His fingertips grazed her ribs as he moved upward so that his knuckles were barely touching the undersides of her breasts.
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Her breathing quickened. That slight caress, the barely there touch, made her nipples tighten in anticipation. “Please,” she whispered. His palm cupped the slight weight of her breast for a brief moment before covering it. Esther sighed with pleasure. The hardened tip stabbed at the center of his palm and she leaned forward, fitting her breast tighter against his hand. “You are so beautiful.” His low whisper sent goose bumps racing down her arms and chest. She wasn’t beautiful, just average, but he made her feel sexy, pretty and wanted. His every touch was slow and reverent as he stroked first one breast before shifting his attention to the other. His fingers played with her nipples until they were both puckered tight and extremely sensitive. Her hips began to move of their own accord, a seductive rhythm that had her pressing hard against his erection, retreating and then pushing back again. Cream slipped from her core, arousing her, preparing her for what was to come. His large hand gave her breast one final squeeze before sliding down the center of her torso, and then lower still. Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers sifted through her pubic hair. “Part your legs.” She widened her legs and he hooked his ankle beneath hers. The motion pulled her leg slightly backward, letting it drape over his. His hand delved between her thighs, his fingers skimming her damp, heated flesh. Reaching behind her, she dug her fingernails into his firm butt, tugging him closer. His erection pulsed heavily against her bottom. She wanted that hardness in her, plunging and withdrawing again and again until they were both screaming with pleasure.
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His thumb grazed the tiny bud of nerves at the apex of her thighs. Esther cried out as bolts of lightning shot through her. Her entire body was alive, all her nerve endings raw. She needed. She wanted. “Now,” she cried, angling her lower body to try to get him inside her. He moved behind her, pulling away. “No!” She dug her fingers into his hips, trying to keep him from leaving her like this. “I need to change position, Esther.” His voice was ragged with need and sounded as desperate as her own. She forced herself to release her grip on him, allowing him to move. The leg she had draped over his was lifted higher and then she felt the blunt tip of his erection at her opening. Esther held her breath when he surged forward, pushing the head of his cock inside. Her inner muscles clutched at him, trying to pull him deeper into her heat. Thrusting his hips forward, he surged inward. In this position, he felt positively huge, stretching her sensitive channel to accommodate his impressive length and girth. She was surrounded, filled by him. But it still wasn’t enough. Esther shoved her hips back, taking him deeper. His arm tightened around her waist as he began to slowly rock them. She twisted her head, wanting to see his face. “James,” she breathed his name and he stopped. Her eyes narrowed as his features came more into focus. “Ryan?” Confusion swamped her. His lips thinned and determination filled his face. Her mind was whirling even as her body cried out for completion. “You promised me.” His words echoed in her brain like a long-forgotten memory.
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He withdrew almost all the way out and drove forward again, surging into her willing body. She was so close to coming, her body winding tighter and tighter with every thrust. “Ryan,” she gasped. She didn’t know what to say, what to do. “Let it happen, Esther. Let me love you.” There was no way she could deny him. She wanted him more than she wanted her next breath. As though sensing her acquiescence, his pace increased, his hips flexing faster and faster. She felt the first quivers of her impending orgasm, tiny spasms deep in her core. Closing her eyes, she savored every thrust. Their bodies were damp with perspiration, their skin sliding together as he made love to her. The harsh crackling noise had her eyes shooting open. Fear filled her belly, driving out all pleasure. “Ryan.” She hated the way her voice quivered, but she couldn’t stop it. “There’s nothing to worry about.” He continued to thrust. “Nothing,” he promised. The sound got louder and she swiveled her head until she found the source. Flames engulfed the drapes, consuming them like a great, hungry beast. Esther screamed, but Ryan seemed oblivious. “We have to get out.” She tried to shove away from him, but he strengthened his hold, keeping her solidly against him. They were going to burn alive. “Ryan!” she screamed his name, kicking and pushing at him. They had to get away. The fire was growing, the heat rising around them. She screamed his name again and again. Finally, he released her. She tried to scramble away, but the sheets were tangled around her legs, trapping her. The flames leapt toward the bed in a fiery rush…
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Esther jerked awake, her breathing ragged, her heart pounding so hard in her ears that she couldn’t hear. Blindly, she flung her hand outward. It struck the lamp on the bedside table, almost toppling it before she was able to right it. Her hand shook as she flicked it on. The sheets were wrapped around her legs and she fought free of them. Sweat plastered her nightgown to her body. “There is no fire. There is no fire. It was just a dream.” She had no idea how many times she repeated those phrases before she began to believe them and the panic slowly receded. Burying her face in her hands, she desperately tried to gain control of herself. She took a deep breath and then another. Gradually, her heartbeat returned to normal, but the dread remained in the pit of her stomach, burning like acid. Once again her dreams had tangled the past with the present, her life right now with that of her ancestor’s. The dreams were always worse this time of year. Even though James and Esther were married after the Samhain celebration, it was that day that was the worst of all. She knew that many cultures believed that the veils between the worlds of the living and the dead were the thinnest that day. All Esther knew was she wanted it over and done with. She couldn’t take many more dreams like this. Now that her nerves were calming, she was aware of the pulsing low in her belly. She was still aroused, almost painfully so, but there was no relief in sight. She glanced at the clock and sighed. A beam of sunlight peeked through a crack in the blinds. She’d drawn them shut before she’d gone to bed this morning, hoping the darkness would allow her to sleep. She hadn’t slept as long as she’d wanted, but there was no hope for it now. She knew there was no way she was going to get any more rest. Throwing back the covers, she swung her legs over the side of the bed.
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Maybe a cold shower would help. Somehow she doubted it.
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Chapter Five
So much for her day off. Esther had barely crawled out of the shower when the phone rang. One of the other dispatchers had to go home sick and they hadn’t been able to reach anyone else. Could she come in to cover the rest of the shift? It was only for a few hours, and Esther normally didn’t mind covering for a co-worker. What she didn’t want to do was to run into Ryan. She’d been working hard lately, and the strange dreams and restless nights were beginning to take their toll on her. She’d really been looking forward to her three days off to get her equilibrium back. Still, her boss promised her an extra day off to make up for it, so she couldn’t complain. The extra day would take her well past Samhain, which was tomorrow. She hoped the dreams and the restless feelings would have abated by the time she got back to work, and her emotions would be under control once again. The cold shower had helped to revive her somewhat, but it hadn’t helped to dispel the low-level arousal that still thrummed through her veins. As always, her dream was interrupted before she reached completion, turning to a nightmare instead. She was a woman in dire need of an orgasm. Still, there was nothing she could do about it right now. No time to make good use of her vibrator. Esther decided that if she ignored it long enough the hot, tingly sensation engulfing her body would go away.
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Without much time to get ready, Esther swiped her damp hair back from her face and fastened it at her nape with an ornate silver clip. Putting on a bra was torture. The silky fabric brushed against her nipples, causing them to pucker almost painfully taut. Putting on her panties was almost as bad. She’d opted away from pantyhose and tugged on thigh-high stockings instead. Grabbing the first thing she found in her closet, she pulled on a threequarter-length denim skirt and a white blouse. The blouse had a stand-up collar and was fitted to the curve of her body. It looked casual, yet sophisticated at the same time. At the last second, she dragged on a light coating of lipstick but ignored the rest of her makeup routine. There just wasn’t time. She didn’t even bother to eat, knowing there would be something in the break room at work she could nibble on when she got there. By the time she sat at her console and began to work, she felt as if she were back in control of herself—physically and emotionally. The place was hopping when she went in, so it took her an hour before she could break away and head to the lunchroom to brew a cup of tea and grab a snack. Her stomach was rumbling, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since the night before. Filling the kettle, she plugged it in and flicked the switch so it would start to boil. She ignored the coffee pot, which was still half-full, and dug through the supply of teabags she kept on hand. Chamomile might be good for her nerves, but she opted for peppermint instead, hoping its refreshing taste would perk her up. She still had over three hours before the next shift was due in. Usually she packed her lunch at home, but there had been no time for that, plus her cupboards were almost bare. One of the things she’d planned to do today was grocery shop.
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She pulled open the small refrigerator and sighed when she realized her yogurt was missing. Sometimes she stashed extra food in the refrigerator or cupboard, but it always ended up with someone else eating it. She knew that whoever took it would replace it eventually, but that didn’t help her right now. Her stomach grumbled again as she shut the door of the refrigerator and eyed two containers sitting on the counter. Someone was always bringing in treats that were shared with everyone. Esther didn’t particularly want cookies for her first meal of the day. It might be late afternoon, but it was breakfast for her. Her stomach growled again, reminding her that beggars couldn’t be choosers. The water in the kettle was at a rolling boil, so she popped a teabag in her mug and poured the water over it, giving it time to steep while she checked out the goodies on the counter. She’d barely popped the lid on the first container when she sensed someone behind her. No, not someone. The one person she didn’t want to run into today. Ryan. “Hey, Esther.” He strolled up alongside her, grabbed a disposable cup and helped himself to some of the coffee. “Don’t you have coffee over at the station?” She pressed the cover back down on the container, her appetite gone. “Sure do.” He took a sip and smiled. “But this stuff is always so much better. I figured that since I had to drop by to speak to the Chief, I’d grab a cup to take back with me.” Esther picked up a spoon, fished her teabag out of her mug and dumped it in the garbage, all the while feeling Ryan’s gaze upon her. “I thought you were off today?” “I was.” She reached for her mug. “Got called in because Angie had to go home sick and they couldn’t get anyone else.” And she was babbling. It was time to shut up and go back to work.
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Ryan stayed her hand before she could touch her mug. He laid his own cup on the counter. “Are you okay?” “I’m fine,” she snapped. He raised one eyebrow in question and she sighed. “Really. I didn’t sleep well and I wasn’t expecting to have to work today.” She offered him a weak smile and reached for her mug again. She really needed to put some space between her and Ryan. Work beckoned like a lifeline. Ryan raised his hand and cupped the side of her face, freezing her in place. “Bad dreams?” Esther felt all the blood drain from her face. How could he know? She stared up at him, lost for words. He was watching her expectantly, almost as if he wanted her to tell him about her dreams. But he couldn’t possibly know about them. No one did. Common sense finally kicked in. He was just making conversation. He couldn’t know about her dreams. And thank God for that. It was nothing more than a polite question. “I’m fine.” For some reason she couldn’t bring herself to lie and say that she hadn’t had any dreams. “I have dreams.” His voice, low and intimate, sounded so much like the one he’d used in her dream that her core began to throb. Ohmigod. This wouldn’t do. This wouldn’t do at all. She could not stand here and talk to him any longer. Her panties were damp. It was humiliating, the effect he had on her without even trying. The only consolation was that there was no way he could know what she was feeling. “Don’t you want to know what my dreams are about?” “No.” She kept her voice crisp and firm as she grabbed the handle of her mug, sloshing some of the brew over the sides. Ryan shifted behind her, placing his hands on the countertop. His heat surrounded her, enveloped her. She wanted to lean back into his arms and feel
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his chest against her back. Even though he wasn’t touching her, she knew he was aroused. How she knew this, she didn’t know. Maybe it was the tension emanating from his body. Or maybe it was the heat rolling off his skin. It didn’t really matter. All she knew was he wanted her. Her own body was jumping. Her nipples tightened, her breasts felt full and heavy. It took all her willpower not to let her head fall forward. She could almost feel the brush of his lips against her nape just as she had in her dream. Her sex clenched hard with need, sending a fresh trickle of cream to coat her panties. “Esther.” His voice was ragged with need. She shook her head, refusing to answer him. “I dream about you. About us.” Not one part of their bodies was touching, but Esther felt as though her flesh was on fire. “I don’t want to know.” It was cowardly, but she released her hold on her mug and placed her hands over her ears. His fingers wrapped around her wrists, tugging her hands away. “You have to listen, Esther. We need to talk.” She could hear the urgency in his voice and it frightened her. She knew Ryan would never hurt her, not physically. But she knew in her soul that he could shatter the fragile barrier around her heart and lay her bare. She couldn’t allow that to happen. Her family history was riddled with relationships that ended tragically due to fire. Her mother had given her heart to her father, her ancestor had given her heart to James, and what had that gotten either of them? Pain and heartache. Marshalling her defenses, she turned and faced him. His large body loomed over hers, almost protectively, as though he wanted to make sure that no one or
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nothing ever hurt her. That was ironic since he was a bigger threat to her than anything else. “Ryan,” she began, not quite sure what she wanted to say. He laid a finger over her mouth. “Shh. Don’t be afraid.” He smoothed his finger over her upper lip before skimming it over her lower one. She felt that tiny touch deep in her core. Her lips tingled and she longed to lick them, to see if she could taste him on them. “Ryan,” she began again. He didn’t say a word, but he shifted closer. His golden-brown eyes watched her carefully as he leaned toward her. He filled her vision, blocking out all else. She knew he was going to kiss her and she was powerless to stop it. She had to know what it would feel like. Big mistake. The moment his mouth touched hers, she was lost. Her eyelids flitted down, closing out the world around her. Nothing else existed but Ryan’s lips against hers. They were firm and warm as he skimmed them back and forth, demanding nothing. Curiously, it was his lack of demand that made her want to give him more. She parted her lips in invitation. His tongue barely skimmed the inside of her mouth before retreating. Esther made a sound of distress deep in her throat. She clutched the front of his shirt for support, fisting it in her fingers. Brazenly, she snaked her tongue out, invading the deep cavern of his mouth. He tasted of coffee, strong and rich. She usually didn’t like the taste of coffee, but mixed with his unique flavor it was better than any aphrodisiac. She heard herself whimper slightly as she tasted him again and again. His hands smoothed down her back, landing at her waist, supporting her as they kissed. He groaned and tilted his head to one side, deepening the contact between them. She could feel the stubble on his jaw abrading her cheek. The roughness emphasized the differences between them, the distinctions between a
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man and a woman. Esther found the contact extremely arousing. She longed to rub her swollen nipples against his chest, but restrained herself. Barely. She no longer felt like herself. Where was the sensible woman who avoided emotional entanglements? She thought about pulling away, but just then Ryan’s tongue surged into her mouth, laying claim to it. Her breath caught as he consumed her with his kiss, tasting her, exploring her. His touch, his kiss, were so familiar. Like an elusive dream she couldn’t quite touch. Dreams. Esther jerked away. Panting for air, she desperately tried to recover from the devastating kiss. What in heaven’s name was she doing? This was no dream. She was at work and she was kissing Ryan Jamieson, the one man she needed to stay away from. They stared at one another for what seemed like forever, but what she knew in reality was probably a matter of seconds. “That can’t happen again.” Her voice was rough with emotion. “Yes, it can and it will.” There was a stubborn expression on Ryan’s face she’d never seen before and it boded ill for her peace of mind. “No. It can’t.” This was as much her fault as his. She’d been a willing participant here, just because she’d had to know what he tasted like, what he felt like. Well, she sure as heck knew now, and she had a dreaded feeling that this knowledge would haunt her dreams for a long time to come. “Esther,” he began and then broke off. He raked his fingers through his thick brown hair and took a deep breath. She sensed his frustration, but there was nothing she could do about it. Correction. Nothing she was willing to do about it.
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“Let me take you to dinner. Just to talk.” Ryan might honestly believe that, but she knew better. The two of them together were like putting a match to gasoline—explosive. If they had dinner things would go much further than simply talking. “I can’t.” She bit her lip to keep from blurting out an acceptance. Never had she been so tempted to give in, to accept a date from a firefighter, and many of the single ones, both in Burnt Cove and back home in Baltimore, had asked at one time or another. Ryan was the only man she’d ever met who threatened all her defenses and good intentions. “You can,” he countered. He wasn’t touching her, but she could feel his eyes on her like a physical caress. His determination beat at her like a living thing. She could sense him willing her to accept his invitation. She almost caved. But thoughts of her dreams, of her mother’s misery stopped her. “Don’t…don’t ask me again. Please.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, staring at the plain beige wall in front of her instead. “I’ll complain to Abe if you do.” He stiffened beside her. She couldn’t believe she’d threatened to do such a thing. Ryan loved his job. He was an excellent firefighter. She knew she’d never do anything to jeopardize that, no matter what she’d said. But he couldn’t know that. Surprisingly, it wasn’t anger she felt emanating from him, but sadness. “If that’s what you want.” He cupped her jaw with his hand and tilted her face upward until she was forced to look at him. He looked so sad she almost relented, but couldn’t. Fear held her back from reaching out. “It’s what I have to do.” He nodded again, slowly, as if he understood her reasons. His golden-brown eyes were filled with a longing that almost broke her heart. “I’ll wait.” They were
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two simple words, but filled with such finality. “If you change your mind, you can ask me.” “I won’t change my mind,” she whispered. She couldn’t. Still, it took all of her willpower not to melt against his touch and beg him to kiss her again. What was wrong with her? He traced his thumb over her bottom lip before releasing her. “I think you will.” Turning, he strode away and never looked back. She knew because she couldn’t tear her gaze away from him. Ryan’s hands were fisted at his sides as he left the room. Frustration twisted his guts into knots and despair picked at his soul. One of the hardest things he’d ever done in his life was to walk away from Esther. He knew she had her reasons, but understanding that still didn’t make it any easier when she pulled away from him at every turn. He could still taste her on his lips and tongue, an elusive, yet addictive spicy flavor of woman and peppermint. His erection jerked and he groaned. Adjusting himself as best he could, he stalked out of building and headed across the street to the fire station. He needed some time alone to get himself back under control. Thankfully the rest of the guys were busy when he went inside, and he made his way upstairs to sit on the side of his bunk. Closing his eyes, he could still smell Esther’s unique scent, a combination of floral soap and musky female. She might deny him, but she’d been just as aroused as he was. Her nipples had stood out in sharp relief against the fabric of the formfitting white blouse she wore. God, he’d wanted to touch her so badly, to trace his finger over the hardened nubs, but he wouldn’t do that. Not at work. It was bad enough he’d kissed her. He was lucky she wasn’t screaming harassment.
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Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm his scattered emotions and thoughts. When she’d mentioned she hadn’t been sleeping well, he thought he might have finally found his opening. Maybe this time she’d talk to him. But it hadn’t happened. She’d tried to close herself off from him even more and that had pissed him off and disappointed him. God, he was going crazy. How do you tell a woman you dream of her, had dreamed of her almost your entire life? Ryan buried his face in his hands, his entire body tense. From the time he was sixteen, he’d started dreaming of her—pleasant memories of life in a Scottish village many centuries ago. They were both much younger then, little more than children really, and the dreams had been simple. They’d tended to their daily chores and spent hours roaming the countryside together. As he’d grown older, the dreams had changed, growing more passionate as he moved into his twenties. They’d felt so real. He’d spent hours touching every inch of her body, learning the texture of her skin. He knew what pleased her, what made her gasp and moan and what made her scream with pleasure. He knew every inch of her delectable body, knew what it felt like to be buried deep in her heat, to feel his cock wrapped in her velvety sheath. He’d felt her hands on his chest, her fingernails digging into his shoulders in the throes of passion. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath to calm his volatile emotions. He knew her name was Esther and they were meant to be together. Except in his dreams she called him James. The dreams had changed a few years ago, pleasure fading to pain and heartache. Now it was fire that filled his visions. The flames of passion morphed into the real ones, crackling and burning everything in its path.
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He heard her screaming his name as smoke and flames surrounded him, trapping and consuming him. Other men had pulled him from the wreckage of a tiny thatched cottage, but it was too late. He knew he was dying, but he wasn’t ready to leave her and their unborn child behind. Ryan’s muscles tightened and clenched, his breathing ragged. In the dreams, she’d been carrying his child when he died. Their life together had barely begun when it was cut short. The pain in his soul had been more than he’d thought he could bear. The look on her face had seared him worse than the fire. Leaving her was unthinkable, yet unavoidable. There was nothing either of them could do to stop the hands of fate from destroying their life together. Ryan rubbed his hands over his face, ignoring the dampness on his cheeks. He raised his head and shook off the bleak memories. He’d dismissed them as nothing but dreams, even though they’d felt so vivid and real. He’d also kept them to himself, never telling another living soul about them, not even his parents. What would he tell them? That he’d lived another lifetime hundreds of years ago and he was remembering it in detail. They’d have dragged him off to some shrink’s office for sure. So he’d tucked away his dreams and gotten on with the business of living. His life had been normal enough in every other way. He’d dated plenty of very nice women and found a career he loved, that satisfied something deep inside him. But he’d always felt as if there was something missing. Anyone might think that the dreams of dying due to injuries he’d received in a blazing inferno would make him afraid of fire. Instead it had done the opposite. He’d been drawn to firefighting from the time he was a small boy. It was as though he wanted, no needed, to conquer that fear of fire and save others from his fate. And he had. He’d graduated at the top of his class and become a firefighter in New York City.
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He’d been content with his life. He had his friends and family, but there was always some part of him searching for a piece of his life that was missing. When he’d seen the advertisement for a full-time firefighter in Burnt Cove something inside him had jumped with excitement. As much as he’d loved his life and job in the city, he’d felt compelled to apply for the position, and hadn’t been the least bit surprised when he’d gotten the job. It was destiny. His first day here, the Fire Chief had taken him around, introducing him to everyone. That was when he’d seen her. Esther Roberts, the woman who’d haunted his dreams his entire life. His heart had almost stopped. For the first time in many years he no longer had to question his sanity. She was real. But she showed not a single glimmer of recognition, no sign that she felt the deep connection between them. Even worse, she turned down his every offer of a date. Deep in his soul, he felt the link between them. It had been forged in fire and lived in his dreams. They had loved in another time and place, and that love was still burning inside him. He felt as if Esther sensed their connection, their history too, but for some reason was afraid of it. Someone called his name and he shook off his foul mood. Pushing to his feet, he headed toward the door. For now he had work to do. What was happening between him and Esther would have to wait. He knew he was running out of time. He couldn’t force her to accept him and he knew he couldn’t stay and watch her turn to another man. That would kill him. Determination filled him. She wanted him. That much she couldn’t hide. He could build on that. The only other alternative was to just walk away and Ryan wasn’t ready to do that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
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Boyd Jenkins was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, concern on his face. “You okay, man?” They were a close-knit bunch here at the station, but he and Jenkins had hit it off from day one. “Yeah.” He ran his fingers through his hair and straightened his shoulders. “Everything’s fine.” His buddy stared at him for the longest time, but finally nodded. “Good enough, but if you ever need to talk…” He let the offer trail off. “Thanks.” There was no need to say anything else. Firefighting was a stressful job and sometimes they all needed to unload. Some of the guys partied too hard and drank too much when they were off duty, but most occasionally talked to a buddy. They all understood the dark moods that could take a man by surprise sometimes. “Baker is cooking dinner.” Jenkins clapped him on the back. “That should cheer you up.” Ryan groaned as he followed his buddy into the kitchen. They all took turns cooking meals when they were on duty and, for the most part, they did okay. Except when Frank Baker cooked. Baker could burn water. The rest of the crew was seated around the table, watching with avid interest as Baker stirred a huge pot on the stove. “Hope you’re all hungry.” He turned and waved his spoon at the group. “Ah, Jamieson, come and try my chili. It’s a new recipe.” He noticed Weston and Collins snickering behind their hands, while Hynes coughed loudly. The rest of them just sat there grinning like idiots. Hell, he was a firefighter. He’d faced tougher things than this. “Sure.” He hoped he sounded nonchalant instead of terrified. He suppressed a shiver. The last time Baker had made chili he almost burned the linings out of all their stomachs the damn stuff was so hot.
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Baker grinned, his eyes twinkling as he dipped the spoon in the pot and held it out. The bastard knew that Ryan didn’t want to try the chili but wouldn’t back down from a challenge. “Chili’s good for you. It will put hair on your chest.” The men behind him laughed as Ryan took the spoon. That was Baker’s quip with almost everything he cooked. He swore it would make men of them. Ryan was feeling manly enough, thank you very much. He didn’t feel the need to abuse his poor stomach. But there was no choice. They were all watching him. He slowly raised the spoon and eyed the chili. Opening his mouth, he moved the spoon closer. The shrill ringing of the bell reverberated around them. Ryan tossed the spoon in the sink and raced for his gear. Each man knew what he had to do and a sort of organized chaos ensued. The door of the garage was already half up and the address was coming over the loudspeaker. He glanced to his right as Baker hauled his suspenders over his shoulder and grabbed his turnout coat. His buddy flashed him a smile. “Don’t worry. The chili will be waiting when you get back.” Ryan chuckled as he jumped aboard the truck. Seconds later the pump engine roared out of the garage bay with the ladder truck and emergency response team right behind them. Adrenaline pumped through his veins. This was what he’d trained for. This was what he loved to do. All the men were focused on the task ahead and prepared for whatever was to come.
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Chapter Six
“Trick or treat.” The chorus of childish voices greeted Esther when she opened her front door. A witch, two ghosts and a pirate all smiled at her as they held up their treat bags. “I’d rather give you a treat than have you trick me.” She recognized them as her neighbor’s children from five houses down. They laughed as she handed out the bags of potato chips she’d bought. She watched them affectionately as they scampered back down her walkway and on to the next house. There had been a steady stream of costumed children at her door for several hours now and she knew that the festivities were almost over for another year. The candles in her carved pumpkins chose that moment to sputter and die, leaving darkness in their wake. In spite of the dreams that haunted her sleep, Esther loved this time of year, the nip in the air, the colorful leaves and most especially Halloween. On a night like tonight, she could readily believe that the veil between the earthly world and the realm of spirits was thin. The moon was bright, the stars were visible in the clear, dark sky and the night seemed alive somehow. A shiver traced its way from her nape to the small of her back and she heard her grandmother’s voice telling her that it meant that someone had stepped on her grave. Glancing up and down the now quiet road, she decided to call it a night. Closing her front door firmly, she locked it. Not that it would keep the spirits out, she mused. She turned off the lights as she headed toward the kitchen and
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stepped out onto her back deck. The pounding of the waves and the tangy salt air called to her. She loved her small cottage, which practically sat on the beach. But even the beauty of the night couldn’t block out the memories of yesterday. Wrapping her arms around herself, she stared out over the vast expanse of the ocean. A day later and she could still feel the pressure of Ryan’s lips against hers. Logically, she knew that was impossible, but logic had little to do with how she felt. Raising her fingers to her mouth, she touched them. They tingled and she muttered a curse under her breath and pulled her hand away. She’d never been so eager to leave work behind for a few days as she was yesterday evening when the shift change had finally arrived. She was just thankful that no one had wandered in while she and Ryan had been kissing. They both would have gotten into trouble over that one. Talk about unprofessional conduct. Esther loved her job too much to jeopardize it and she’d swear that Ryan felt the same way. The connection between them had been too potent to deny. Esther didn’t like that one bit. She felt out of control, as if her formerly normal life was quickly becoming lost to her, replaced by something she didn’t fully understand. Staring up into the night sky, she sought out the various constellations, as if they could somehow give her the answers she sought. Maybe if she wished on a star everything would turn out okay. It was what she’d believed as a child. Although she was no longer a child, she found herself seeking out the brightest star. Closing her eyes, she wished on it with all her might. She didn’t want to get hurt. All she wanted was a peaceful life. Sighing, she opened her eyes. The night hadn’t changed and she was very much afraid that her life had veered off the course she’d set for it. She straightened her shoulders and dropped her hands by her sides. If that was the
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case, it was up to her to put it back on track. As she’d reminded herself many times, she was the master of her own destiny. Wishing on stars didn’t change anything anymore than candle magick did. The ceremony in Rhiannon’s garden had taken place more than a week ago, but Esther’s life was just the same. She was alone. Not that she was looking for a permanent relationship, but a night of hot sex wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Not that she’d really indulge in a one-night affair. It wasn’t in her nature to do so, and Burnt Cove wasn’t a large city where such things went unnoticed. Still, it was nice to dream about a night of sensual pleasures with no strings attached. Lured by the pull of the water, she wandered to the edge of the small patio deck and wrapped her fingers around the railing. The light wind whipped at the hem of her long cotton skirt, making the fabric dance. She felt…restless. There was no other word for it. Ever since her interlude or confrontation—she wasn’t quite sure what to call it—with Ryan yesterday, she felt out of sorts, as if she’d let something special pass her by. Which was ridiculous, of course. Ryan seemed like a really nice guy. They’d been at many social functions together and he was always polite and willing to lend a hand when needed. Both men and women gravitated toward him, but as far as she knew, he hadn’t dated anyone since arriving in Burnt Cove. The only woman he’d shown any interest in at all was her. There was no doubt the man was handsome and she was more than a little attracted to him. Okay, so she was drawn to him more than any other man she’d ever met, but that didn’t mean anything. She could put the attraction down to the fact she’d been without a man in her life for way too long.
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Shaking her head at her tangled thoughts, she turned away from the rail. A lantern sat on a metal patio table, matches beside it. On impulse, she opened the box, took out one and struck it. The head of the match flared before settling to a slow burn. She lit the candle inside the lantern and blew out the match, laying it carefully on the metal table. Picking up the lantern, she walked to the edge of the patio and ambled down the steps. The beach was a combination of rock and sand. It called to her and she came here whenever she had anything on her mind. The primal rhythm of the sea calmed and invigorated her at the same time. She needed that now as she tried to order her thoughts about Ryan. The biggest problem was that she liked Ryan. A lot. She dealt with him at work on a regular basis and heard others talking about him and there was no denying that he was a really great guy. He had a ready smile and a wicked sense of humor, but he worked hard and his fellow firefighters had taken to him immediately. Already, he was involved in some local charity projects. There was nothing not to like about the man. Why then did he make her so uneasy? She had no easy answers. Only the one she’d already concluded—Ryan could matter too much. Bending down, she picked up a piece of driftwood and dragged it behind her, marking the sand as she walked. Her thoughts drifted back to Esther and James and the village in the Scottish highlands where they’d lived seven hundred years ago. What must it have been like to dance around a Samhain fire, celebrating the rich harvest and the official end of the summer? She paused and glanced down at the large piece of driftwood in her hand. Nibbling on her lower lip, she stared at the empty beach. Could she? Should she? She was afraid that she had to.
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Much like her brothers, father and all her ancestors before her, Esther was drawn to fire even as she feared it. She had so many wonderful childhood memories of cookouts and campfires. She hadn’t sat on a beach and enjoyed the crackling of a fire since she was a teenager. Never had she lit one on her own and danced around it. The prospect was too alluring for her to walk away. Dropping the stick in the sand, she set her lantern down and scurried around, gathering pieces of wood that the sea had carelessly discarded on the shore. Propping some of the larger ones against a rock, she brought her foot down hard in their middle, cracking them in half. When she was satisfied she had enough fuel for her impromptu Samhain bonfire, she collected smooth rocks to make a circle of stones on the sand and piled some of her wood inside. She was careful to build her fire pit close to the water’s edge for safety’s sake. There were no trees or grass close by, so there was no danger of catching anything else on fire. She chewed on the inside of her mouth as she stared at the small pyre of sticks, debating if she should actually light them. It wouldn’t be a big fire, not a true Samhain bonfire, but it would give her a taste of what it would have been like. Her feet itched to move and she could already picture herself twirling around the flames, could hear the laughter and chatter of the others from the past as they danced with her. Grabbing a piece of discarded paper she’d found while gathering wood, she held it to the flame of the lantern. When it ignited, she held it high, an offering of sorts to the spirits of those who had come before her. Leaning down, she tucked the flaming paper beneath the tepee of sticks. It sputtered and the flames grew smaller and she feared the wood might be too damp.
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“Come on,” she whispered, coaxing her tiny blaze. As if it heard her plea, a flame shot high, catching some of her wood. She tended it carefully, adding larger chunks of wood, one piece at a time until a respectable fire filled the stone circle. Laughing, she stood back and admired her own Samhain bonfire. She was inordinately pleased with herself even as she glanced around to see if anyone else might be watching her. But this part of the beach was fairly secluded, so she thought she’d be safe from prying eyes. What the heck. She no longer cared what anyone else thought. The fire blazed, crackling out its own seductive song, and the waves brushed the shoreline, adding its swooshing sound to the music, while the wind lifted the ends of her hair. The night was alive and so was she. Kicking off her white canvas sneakers and pulling off her socks, she stepped closer to the fire and began to sway. She closed her eyes and felt the elemental power surround her, calling to her like a lost friend. She could see them in her mind’s eye—Esther and James—watch them share heated glances through the flames, both of them wanting nothing more than to spend their entire lives together. Sadness washed over her, followed by a huge wave of despair. That was what she truly wanted. Someone who loved her that deeply. Someone she could love in return. What she didn’t want was the pain that went along with loving someone that much. Sometimes you have to take a chance to get what you want. Sometimes what you want is right in front of you. The words were a ghostly whisper on the breeze, startling Esther. Her eyes snapped open. “Who’s there?” But there was no one. She was alone.
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There was a slight chill in the air now where moments before she had felt none. She closed the top two buttons of her sweater and turned to get her shoes. It was time to stop this foolishness and go inside for the night. No. She stopped and turned back toward the fire. A fierce longing shot through her. She wanted to dance, and dance she would. Raising her arms over her head, she began to twirl and skip around the blaze, gaining speed with each circle. The waves crashed against the shore as the wind picked up slightly. She felt wild and free and powerful. Her feet sank into the damp sand as she dipped and swayed to the music of the night. The pounding of the sea was like a drum, its rhythm matching the heavy thud of her heart as she swooped and dipped around the flames. Her entire being felt alive, filled with a primitive power. She tilted her head back, letting the star-studded sky fill her vision. The wind caressed her skin like a lover, its tantalizing light brush teasing her. Her breasts felt heavy, her nipples taut. Heat filled her once again, the cold and her fears forgotten. She’d never done anything like this before, but it felt right somehow, as if she’d done it many times before but had just forgotten and was now remembering. “You got a permit for that fire?” The deep male voice startled her and she came to an abrupt halt, almost stumbling in her haste to stop her momentum. She blinked to clear her vision. Staring through the flames, she saw him. Tall and broad, like a god of old, he emerged from the darkness, stepping into the light. His brown hair shimmered and his eyes appeared molten gold in the light. Ryan. He was standing quietly, watching her with his hands propped on his hips. She was used to seeing him in his uniform, but tonight he was wearing a pair of
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light faded jeans that molded to his strong thighs and a plain white shirt that made his shoulders appear a yard wide. And he was waiting for her to answer him. “What?” For the life of her, she couldn’t remember what he asked her. One side of his mouth kicked up in a grin as he motioned to the fire that was dancing wildly on the beach a few feet away. “Have you got a permit for that fire?” She could feel her cheeks heating. Did she need a permit? She didn’t think so. It wasn’t something she’d even thought about. How embarrassing for someone in her position to be caught breaking the law. “No. No, I don’t have one. I never really planned to light a fire, it just sort of happened.” She closed her mouth because she couldn’t stop babbling. He sauntered around to her side of her small bonfire, never taking his eyes from her. “You couldn’t resist, could you?” His voice was low, seductive, as if he knew a secret she didn’t. “No, I couldn’t.” For some unknown reason, she couldn’t lie to Ryan, didn’t want to. “You like playing with fire.” The way he approached her made her feel as if she were prey and he was the hunter. No, not a hunter. More like he was some great beast as he stalked slowly toward her. “No.” She denied his claim, even as she feared he was correct. The urge to run was great, but she dug in her heels, refusing to budge. This was her beach and she could darn well have a fire if she wanted to. She said as much to him. “If you don’t like it, write me up for a fine.” Propping her hands on her hips, she glared at him.
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“You were made for dancing around a fire.” The low tone of his voice was intimate and seductive. All of a sudden she became aware of just how isolated her home and this beach was. They were truly all alone here. She took a step away as his words fired her blood. Her core clenched and moisture seeped outward, dampening her panties. With every step he took toward her, sexual awareness flooded through her veins. “Do you have any idea how seductive you look dancing around a fire?” She shook her head. “No?” She could see the desire in his eyes as he took another step in her direction and then stopped. “The light of the flame makes your skin appear even paler and smoother. It highlights the different shades of brown in your hair and makes your eyes look even bluer.” She stopped her retreat, unable to take another step away from him. He was seducing her with words alone. “When you danced in front of the flames I could see through the material of your skirt.” Excitement made her face burn with embarrassment even as it aroused her. “You have gorgeous legs, so long and lean. They’d wrap perfectly around me as I thrust into you.” An involuntary sound of desire rose from her throat. Her sex contracted. Hard. She could almost feel him stretching her feminine muscles as he surged inside her. “You can imagine it, can’t you? Feel it as I can?” She shook her head. She was so confused. She didn’t want to feel this way, but there was no denying that she did. A part of her was urging her to take what he offered. They could have sex without having a relationship, a night of passion between two consenting adults. It didn’t have to be anything more than that.
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“I dream of you.” His words startled her and made her remember her own dreams. “Do you?” She licked her lips nervously. The fire crackled and popped behind her and the waves swooshed in the background. He was closer now. She held her ground and this time he didn’t stop, but kept coming until the tips of his boots touched her naked toes. She was staring straight at his chest and had to tilt back her head to see him. “I do.” He cradled her face in his hands, his eyes aglow with desire and with some deep emotion she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, try to name. “I’ve dreamed of you for years. I’ve searched the world for you, praying and hoping I’d find you.” Before she could speak, he continued. “I dream of a life long ago, in a small village in the Scottish Highlands. It’s a hard life, but a good one. We farm, raise sheep.” His thumbs stroked her cheeks. “We’re younger at first, just friends. But that changes as we get older.” “No.” This couldn’t be happening. “Yes.” His hands were gentle, but he would not allow her to turn from him. “I remember making love to you for the first time.” He laughed. “Neither one of us knew what we were about, but it was incredible. You were so afraid your father would catch us.” Esther was shocked and confused. This was insane. How could he know about her dreams? About Esther and James’s story? “I’m sorry about the fire. So damned sorry. It was never meant to be that way. We were supposed to have a long, happy life together.” His words shook the very foundation of her world. “That’s impossible,” she whispered shakily.
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“On tonight of all the nights, anything is possible, Esther. We were meant to be together and I told you once before, a long time ago, that neither time nor distance would keep me from you.” A lone tear slipped from the corner of her eye and down her cheek. He caught it with his thumb, rubbing it away. “My name was James and I was your husband. I told you I’d find you.” Anger surged up inside her, the wind suddenly cold against her flesh. “How did you get hold of the journal?” It was the only logical explanation. He had to have read her family’s journal. His expression lightened. “You kept one. You did as I, as James, asked you to do.” She could not believe this. Would not believe it. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but I don’t like it.” Esther pulled away from him and turned to leave. He clamped his hand on her shoulder and whirled her back around. “Believe me, I’m not playing.” His features were stark, outlined by the fire that burned beside them. It was odd to be standing toe-to-toe with a large, angry man and not be afraid of him. She knew he would sooner chop off his right hand than physically harm her. And how she knew that, she had no idea. Obviously, she was losing her mind. “This is insane!” “No, this is reality.” He took a deep breath, his entire body shuddering as he gathered himself. “I know that you have a tiny heart-shaped red birthmark on the inner curve of your left breast. I know that a certain area of your neck is incredibly sensitive.” His fingers touched the base of her neck where it met her shoulder. “If I kissed you here—” he leaned forward and pressed his lips against
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her skin, “—or maybe just nipped.” His teeth gently bit down and she groaned as heat shot through her. “Stop.” Oh Lord, how did he know this? He pulled away and she had to curl her fingers into her palms to keep from dragging him back. “I know what pleases you, Esther.” His eyes were scorching her flesh they were so hot with lust. She’d never felt anything like it in her life. “You know what pleases me.” And she did. She couldn’t deny it. She knew that he loved to have her play with his hair, threading her fingers over and over through the thick strands. He loved it when she dug her nails into his shoulders when they made love, and he went wild when she stroked the sensitive skin between the base of his scrotum and his anus. The only way she could know all this was if they really had lived before, that they really had lived as lovers, as man and wife. She was hot one moment, cold the next. The world around her was unchanged—the night sky was still filled with stars, the fire crackled merrily beside them, scenting the air with wood smoke, and her feet were still planted on the soft, damp sand. Yet everything had changed. How could she believe such a thing? How could she not with him standing right in front of her telling her things that he couldn’t possibly know? She’d felt the attraction from the beginning, the feeling that she somehow knew him. Esther tore herself from his embrace, turning her back on him. “I can’t do this again. I can’t!” She doubled over as remembered pain shot though her. “I can’t watch you die like that again.” His arms came around her from behind, pulling her back against his broad chest. “It doesn’t have to be that way again, Esther. We’ve been given another
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chance.” She could hear the pleading note in his voice and shook her head, not willing to hear what he had to say. “I can’t!” she cried. “You have no idea what it was like for me after you died.” Esther knew she was talking about herself as if she really had lived the ordeal hundreds of years ago, but she couldn’t stop. It was real. It had happened. “Tell me,” he ordered angrily. “I was alone. Our families helped, but it wasn’t the same. When the baby came, I was so afraid and you weren’t there with me. The baby was all that kept me going.” She blurted out her deepest, darkest secret. “I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t had our son.” She looked up at him through the tears that filled her eyes. He looked stricken. “Esther.” He turned her in his embrace and held her against him. She shook her head, blinking back her tears. They’d changed nothing back then and would change nothing now. “But I got past that and I learned to live again.” Leaning away, she faced him proudly. “I got over it and I made a life for myself and our child. It wasn’t easy, but I found a measure of peace and contentment.” “You never remarried.” She could hear the wonder in his voice. “No, I didn’t. I never wanted to feel that way again. I didn’t want it then and I don’t want it now. I can’t. No, I won’t do that again, Ryan.” She’d barely kept herself from calling him James. He was James, yet he wasn’t. Just as she was her ancestor, but was herself as well. It was if they were both separate people, yet had their memories of the past as well as their own. His features hardened. She almost cried out when he suddenly released her. “Then you damn us both to a living hell.” His voice was hard, no longer persuasive. She turned away from him, not wanting to see the scorn on his face.
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“We all die, Esther. The question is do you have the guts to really live? What happened to the brave woman I married?” Anger surged through her. How dare he. Hadn’t he listened to anything she’d told him? She whirled back around, almost bursting with indignation. “I’ll tell you what happened. I watched the only man I ever loved die a horrific death and then raised our child all alone.” The burst of anger died as quickly as it had come. Esther rubbed her hand over her breastbone, trying to ease the ache in her pounding heart. “I was so lonely and afraid.” His expression changed, his features softening. “I’m so sorry, Esther. I know it was hard for you, but I didn’t leave you because I wanted to.” His eyes were liquid with remorse and understanding. “I didn’t want to die that way.” He scrubbed his hand over his face, digging his thumb and forefinger into his eyes. Esther knew he didn’t want her to see his tears. “I had so many plans for us,” he continued. “I wanted to have at least half a dozen children and watch them grow and marry. I wanted to see my grandchildren playing at my feet. But most of all, I wanted to grow old with you. I wanted to go to bed with you by my side and wake with you there in the morning. I didn’t want to leave you and go into a black, cold void where you couldn’t reach me.” “Ryan.” She reached for him, but it was his turn to back away. She tried to ignore the thread of hurt that his action brought her. It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? She was no longer sure. All she knew was that she wanted to stop Ryan from hurting. She wanted to stop hurting. “The only thing that made it bearable was that I knew I’d find you again.” He thumped his fist on his chest. “In here, I knew.” She knew what he wanted and she couldn’t give it to him. Her face must have shown it.
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Ryan dragged his hand though his hair and took a deep breath. “What now?” “I don’t know,” she whispered. Memories of both the past and the present swirled within her mind, making it almost impossible for her to think. He nodded and turned, leaving her standing on the beach by her Samhain fire. Watching him go, she felt something inside her shift, a crack forming in her protective armor. She couldn’t let him leave. Not like this. Emotion filled her, swelling her heart, urging her to take a chance. “Ryan,” she called, but he kept walking. “Ryan!” she yelled as her legs finally started to work and she raced down the beach behind him. He stopped, but didn’t turn around. His arm was like steel when she placed her hand on it. Tension was evident in every line of his body. “Don’t go.” “Tell me what you want, Esther?” What did she want? Deep down she knew and, throwing all her caution and commonsense to the wind, she told him. “Make love to me.”
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Chapter Seven
Nervous butterflies danced in her stomach as he slowly turned to face her. “Be sure, Esther. Be very sure because there is no going back if we do.” The possessive light in his eyes was frightening. They burned with a powerful need that nearly brought her to her knees. She almost turned and ran back to the safety of her home, but she knew that if she did she’d regret it to her dying day. She nodded. “The words. Say the words.” “I’m sure.” They were barely past her lips when he hauled her up against him, his mouth swooping downward to claim hers. Her lips parted and his tongue surged inside. This was no tentative kiss for first-time lovers, but one of confidence, as if he was certain of her and knew what aroused her. And he was, she realized. His kiss was familiar, whether from the far past or from yesterday she didn’t know, but it made her greedy for more. Going up on her toes, she wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging to him. His tongue played with hers, stroking it lovingly before retreating. She kissed him, not holding anything back. Her skin tingled and her clothing felt snug and restricting. She rubbed her breasts against his hard chest, trying to ease the ache in them, but it only added to the heat that was flooding her body. Ryan’s hands gripped her ass, tugging her closer until the notch of her thighs was rubbing against the bulge of his erection. She raised one leg, trying to hook it around his waist, wanting, no needing to get closer. Her swollen clitoris was
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stimulated with every stroke and she tore her mouth from his, suddenly unable to breathe. Her chest hurt as she gulped a mouthful of air. “Now!” She barely recognized his voice, it was so low and guttural, but she heard the underlying need that matched her own. Whether it was the magical quality of the night or whether they really were reincarnated lovers, Esther no longer cared. Ryan was a fever in her blood. She stepped back, almost surprised he let her go. He stood there, his chest heaving and his mouth damp from their passionate kiss, but it was the question she saw in his eyes that moved her to action. He was unsure if she’d changed her mind. Her hands went to the buttons of her sweater and she quickly undid them. His eyes gleamed molten gold as she peeled her sweater away and dropped it onto the sand. Her nipples were hard peaks against the lacy cups of her bra, the fabric almost unbearable against her aroused flesh. Without hesitation, Esther reached behind and undid the clasp. Crossing her arms over her chest, she hooked the straps with her fingers and slowly lowered them. “You are so beautiful.” He reached out his hand and stroked one of her swollen nipples, making it pucker. His touch was almost reverent as his thumb stroked over the small red birthmark on her left breast. The bra dropped to the ground. She wanted to see his chest, so she made quick work of his shirt buttons even though her hands were trembling. He released his hold on her long enough to allow her to shove the shirt over his shoulders and off. Then his hands were back, both of them this time, cupping her breasts, kneading them, his thumbs circling her nipples. Esther threw back her head for a moment, simply absorbing the sensation of his hands on her body. Nothing in her life had ever felt this good or right. She
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flattened her hands on his chest, her fingers tracing the hardness of his muscles before she finally found his nipples. Taking her time, she flicked her fingers over them, eliciting a groan of pleasure from him. Encouraged, she explored further. A light sprinkling of hair covered his chest before angling downward in a thin line. She traced that line, using her nails to scratch lightly over his taut stomach, smiling when the bulge in his pants jerked. His hand grabbed hers, manacling her wrist before she could cup his erection. “It’ll be finished before we start if you touch me. I want you so damn bad.” Ryan dropped down onto their discarded clothing, tugging her with him. She was flat on her back, staring up into his face before she realized his intent. The night seemed to close around them, protecting them from prying eyes and the reality that would come with the dawn of the morning. For now, the fire crackled as it burned low, the waves swept against the shoreline and an occasional seabird cried out. Nothing existed but the two of them. His hand slipped over her leg, pushing her skirt upward. His profile was visible in the firelight, his expression intense. He was wholly focused on his task, like some conqueror of old claiming his prize. When his fingers traced the crotch of her panties, she sucked in a breath, her hips arching upward, seeking more of his touch. “You’re already wet for me.” There was awe and satisfaction in his voice as he continued to stroke her. He hooked his fingers in her underwear and tugged them over her hips and legs before tossing them aside. She was naked except for the skirt wrapped around her waist. Kneeling between her legs, he stroked her inner thighs, moving ever closer to the tops of her legs. Pushing them apart, he leaned down and inhaled. “You smell like honey.” His breath was warm against her skin. Anticipation
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thrummed through her, making her skin tingle. He cupped her ass in his hands, raised her to his mouth and stroked his tongue over the slick folds. It was such a turn-on to watch him bury his face between her thighs. Esther’s hands dug into the sand around her, needing something to ground her. But there was nothing to hold on to. The sand trickled through her fingers, leaving her adrift in an ocean of desire. His clever tongue stroked every crevice of her heated sex before pausing to flick at her swollen clitoris. She cried out and grabbed at his head with her hands, tangling her fingers in his hair and dragging him closer. “Ryan,” she gasped. “Now. I want you now.” In response, he slipped one broad finger into her core, testing her readiness. She cried out as her feminine muscles pulsed around him. He gave her clitoris one long, final lick before sitting back on his knees. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a condom and dropped it beside him. He yanked open the button on his jeans and carefully lowered the zipper before pushing his underwear aside. His cock sprang free, large and hungry for her. Sitting up, she wrapped her hand around his straining erection. So hard, yet so soft. She marveled at him, learning his shape and size while she stroked him, the sensation new yet familiar. He swore softly under his breath, but didn’t stop her. His hands were balled into fists on his thighs and his eyes were closed. She traced her thumb over the bulbous head of his cock, spreading the light coating of fluid that seeped from the tip. “Esther,” he grated out between clenched teeth. “I want to be inside you when I come.” Grabbing the condom, she ripped open the packet and quickly sheathed him. He tumbled her back down onto the ground and wedged himself between her
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thighs. She could feel the head of his cock seeking entrance and she widened her legs, sighing with pleasure when he finally slipped inside. Supporting himself on his forearms, he framed her face in his large, capable hands. “I love you, Esther. Now and forever.” He leaned down to kiss her, surging forward and burying himself deep within her. She was overwhelmed by both his words and his physical actions. He started slowly, but she wrapped her legs around his waist, hooking her ankles together at the small of his back, driving him even deeper. Their pace increased and she raised her hips to meet his every thrust. She’d had several lovers in her life, but it had never felt like this, so overwhelming, so incredibly powerful. Twining her arms around his neck, she clung to him as the world dissolved around her. His skin was slick with sweat despite the cool autumn air, and his muscles bunched and flexed as he drove them both higher. His chest brushed against her breasts, abrading her aroused nipples. His lips caressed her forehead, cheeks and nose before desperately seeking her mouth once again. He cupped her shoulders, pulling her toward him with each plunge of his body. He filled her, body, mind and soul, leaving room for nothing but him. The heat within her climbed until she thought they’d burst into flames. He tore his mouth from hers. “Now, Esther. Now.” He surged forward one final time, his entire body shaking. She knew he was desperately trying to hold back, wanting her to come first. The onset of his orgasm triggered hers, sending her over the edge and into oblivion. “Ryan!” she cried, inner muscles contracting hard. She tilted her hips upward, grinding them against his pelvis, never wanting this moment to end. Her nails dug into his muscled back as she sought something to anchor her.
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Gasping, she rode the waves of pleasure to the end, and when they finally receded, she unhooked her ankles and let her legs fall back to the ground. Ryan had managed to pull out of her before collapsing facedown beside her. When she shivered, his arm snaked over her stomach and pulled her closer to him. Heat radiated from his large body. Grateful for the warmth, she snuggled against him, not wanting to lose the newfound closeness between them. She lay there, staring up at the stars, and a deep happiness filled her. On this magical night, nothing could harm them. She would worry about tomorrow when it came. Moments later, he stirred, raising his head to gaze down at her. His hair was mussed and fine grains of sand stuck to his skin in several places, but his eyes were alight with pleasure. “Thank you.” His gruff whisper was followed by a soft kiss. Sighing, she cuddled closer to him, content for the moment just to be with him. He rubbed his hands over her shoulders and she shivered, goose bumps spreading down her arms. “We’d better get you inside.” Ryan rolled easily to his feet, yanked a tissue from his back pocket and removed the used condom before hitching up his underwear and zipping his jeans. He stuffed the tissue back into his pocket to discard later. Realizing that she was still sprawled almost naked on the ground in front of him, she shoved her skirt down and reluctantly pushed herself upright. He offered her his hand and pulled her up easily. While she brushed the sand from her skirt, he shook out both their tops and then helped her on with her sweater before donning his shirt. She managed to find her panties and bra, thankful that she wouldn’t have to come searching for them in the morning. She didn’t bother to try to put them on, but stuffed them into her skirt pockets. She found her
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sneakers and shoved her feet into them. Her socks joined her underwear in her pockets. Uncertainty flooded Esther. She wasn’t sure what to do next. Ryan was busy kicking sand on the dying embers of the fire, making sure it was completely out. When he was done, he grabbed the gutted lantern and turned back to her. “Come here.” His soft entreaty had her feet moving toward him. Tucking her under his arm, he held her close as they walked back to her house. Only the churned-up sand and the faint smell of smoke remained behind them. “Good morning.” The husky greeting was followed by a long, lingering kiss. The rasp of Ryan’s morning stubble was rough against her skin, but Esther ignored it, not wanting her fantastic dream to end. As their kiss deepened, she became aware of various muscle aches in her body, as if she had worked it too hard. Reality descended with a resounding crash as a hairy thigh was draped over her smooth one and a heavy hand rested on her belly. It wasn’t a dream. She’d really danced around the fire on the beach, ending her performance by making love to Ryan. Upon retreating to her home, they’d grabbed a quick shower and made love several more times before finally dropping into a deep, sated sleep. Just the thoughts of what they’d done in the shower made her skin flush. What had she done? She’d gone against all her deeply held beliefs, allowing her protective barriers to be pushed aside, and had made love to Ryan. Her lover pulled back, a sleepy smile on his face as he rolled out of bed and sauntered to the bathroom. She couldn’t take her eyes off his tight butt. Burying her face in her pillow, she shook herself. Okay, maybe she could salvage the situation before her heart got too involved. Maybe it was cowardly,
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but she didn’t care. She had already thrown herself off the end of a cliff. It was time to grab a lifeline and pull herself back. Her heart cried out in protest even as her mind congratulated her on her good sense. Esther was totally confused. She heard water running in the bathroom and knew Ryan wouldn’t be in there much longer. Jumping out of bed, she ran to her closet, grabbed her robe and slipped it on. She just had the belt tightened when he walked back into the room. Oh my. He was half-aroused already and on his way to full when he walked up to her. “I was hoping to join you back in bed,” he murmured. He leaned down and nipped the curve of her shoulder where it met her neck. The man didn’t play fair. He’d quickly tested his past knowledge and found out last night her neck, and that area in particular, was an erogenous zone for her. She bit her lower lip, ignoring the heat that blossomed low in her belly. She was already damp between her thighs. “Wait.” Pressing her hands to his shoulders, she pushed him back. “We have to stop.” He stared at her quizzically. “Why? Do you have to go to work? I’m sorry, sweetheart, I thought you were off today.” “No. I don’t have to work.” She stood tall and pulled her tattered shields back around her. “I think you should go.” The easy smile slid from his face to be replaced by a frown. “What’s wrong, Esther?” There was no stopping what she had started. “I think last night might have been a mistake.” Every cell in her body was screaming in denial, but like a runaway train she couldn’t stop the flow of words streaming from her mouth. “A mistake.” His voice was flat as he just stared at her. “You’re pulling back because you’re afraid.”
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“I’m not afraid. It’s just common sense,” she insisted. Pushing by him, she went to the bed and started straightening the covers. “After all, we barely know one another and I told you that I don’t get involved with firefighters.” His hand gripped her shoulder as he whirled her around. “We know each other. We’ve known each other for forever.” His eyes were dark with anger, but Esther wasn’t afraid. She could never be afraid of him, at least not physically. Emotionally was an entirely different matter. “And after last night, we certainly are involved. Or was it some other woman who came four times last night?” Shame filled her even as arousal bloomed within her. What was wrong with her? She held up her hand. “I need to think.” “No, you need time to build your defenses again.” He sighed and turned away, quickly hauling on his underwear and jeans. His socks, boots and shirt followed. When he was fully dressed, he turned to her. “You can deny what’s between us all you want, Esther. But it’s there. We both know that. I love you, but I won’t beg. I want a life with you. A long one this time.” He brushed his fingers across her cheek, deep sorrow etched on his features. “I can’t make you change your mind, but think on this over the next few days. Wouldn’t you rather spend whatever time we have together, sharing our love and our life, rather than living in your sterile, safe little world that doesn’t allow for love?” His words cut her sharper than a knife. He made her fears sound shallow and stupid. “I think—” she swallowed hard, on the verge of tears, “—I think you should leave.” Sighing, he dropped his hand and walked to the door. “Think about it.” Then he was gone. When she heard the front door closing behind him, she sank down onto the bed, stared at the red votive candle on the bedside table for a moment, then buried her hands in her face and cried.
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Chapter Eight
Esther’s eyes felt gritty and her energy level was nil. She hadn’t slept much the past two nights. The phone rang and she waited, allowing the machine to pick up the call as she’d done with every other one the past few days. Rhiannon’s voice came over the line. “Esther, are you there? Pick up the phone. I’m worried about you.” Silence and then, “Call me.” The line went dead. Sighing, she rubbed her eyes. This wasn’t Rhiannon’s first call and wouldn’t be her last. Maggie had also called several times. She knew her friends were worried about her, knew they’d turn up on her doorstep eventually if she didn’t call them back. But right now, that didn’t matter. Nothing seemed to matter. She’d done everything she could think of the past two days to shake her dark and dismal mood, but nothing could dispel the sadness and emptiness inside her. When she closed her eyes, she relived Halloween night over and over. The press of their bodies, the feel of his mouth on hers, the ecstasy that had enveloped her as Ryan thrust into her, taking her to heights she’d never experienced before. She also couldn’t get the memory of his face when he was leaving out of her mind. He’d seemed sad, frustrated and disappointed. It was the disappointment that she’d glimpsed in his eyes that had hit her the hardest. What did he have to be disappointed about? She hadn’t promised him anything. Or maybe she had. She’d made love to him, knowing full well what he thought and felt. Several times over the past few days, she’d picked up the phone to call Rhiannon and Maggie, needing to talk to someone about what had happened.
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Twice she’d even dialed their numbers. But when it came down to it, she hung up before the call went through. She couldn’t talk to either of them about what had happened with Ryan. Not yet. She was too raw and the situation was too surreal. Besides which, Rhiannon was having her own man troubles with Ryland Stone. Esther knew Ryland and thought he was a great guy, but she couldn’t believe how quickly things had heated up between him and Rhiannon. Not that she could talk. The thing with her and Ryan had come to a head quickly. Maybe the candle magick had worked. Then there was Maggie. She’d sounded so sad and distracted on the phone the last time they’d talked—which was about a week ago now that she thought about it—Esther hadn’t had the heart to burden her. Still, she had to talk to someone and the only person she knew who might remotely understand what she was feeling was her mother. She had to leave for work soon, but felt such a compelling need to talk to her mother that she gave in and dialed the number. She sipped her tea while she waited for the phone to start ringing. The liquid was tepid, having gone cold while she’d been stewing about the situation with Ryan. Making a face at it, she placed the mug back on the table. The phone was picked up and the familiar voice came over the other end. Esther took a deep breath. “Mom, do you have a minute?” “Of course I have time, honey.” Her mother sounded surprised but pleased to hear from her. Then she paused. “What’s wrong?” Esther closed her eyes as a feeling of comfort filled her. Her mom always knew when one of her kids was upset about something. The fact that her daughter was living hundreds of miles away and was a grown woman hadn’t diluted those instincts one tiny bit.
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The caring and concern she felt from her mother loosened something deep inside her. Just like that, it all came flooding out of her. “I met someone.” The words poured freely as she told her mother everything. Well, not quite everything. She left out the steamy interlude on the beach and afterwards at home, but she shared everything else, including her growing suspicion that they might be connected to the ill-fated Esther and James. She couldn’t quite bring herself to admit that she was truly beginning to believe that they were the reincarnation of the tragic couple. Her mother listened carefully and, as usual, cut right to the bottom line. “How do you feel about him? Do you love him?” Esther placed her hand on her stomach. It had been upset for several days now, churning every time she thought about the situation with Ryan. She hadn’t been able to eat at all, her appetite non-existent. Did she love Ryan? That was a question she’d rolled over and over in her mind the past few days. She’d missed him terribly, which bothered her greatly. She was used to being alone and didn’t mind it at all. Sure, she had friends, but she enjoyed her solitude as well. But not these past few days. Instead, she’d felt as though something, or rather someone, was missing. “Yes. No. Maybe.” She sighed, hating the confusing emotions roiling around inside her. A dull ache was building in the back of her skull, signaling the onset of a tension headache. And that wasn’t the only place that hurt. Even days later, she still felt the impact of making love to Ryan. Yes, the original aches had faded, but she was more aware of her body now. And for the past few nights her body had been filled with a yearning that only Ryan could satisfy. But she’d sent him away.
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Her mother was still waiting patiently on the other end of the line. “I think I do, but he’s a firefighter.” There, she’d said it out loud, given voice to the one fear that paralyzed her. “Oh, Esther.” She could hear the sadness in her mother’s voice and it shamed her. “I understand your fears, but honestly, honey, if I’d felt that way you’d never have been born.” “How did you deal with it?” That’s what she needed to know. “How did you get through each day knowing that Dad could be killed at work?” Her fingers gripped the receiver so tight that her hand began to throb. She loosened her grip slightly and waggled her fingers to increase the flow of blood through them. “What was the alternative?” her mother softly replied. “A life without him?” More briskly now, she continued. “Yes, your father died on the job, but he could just as easily have been killed in a car accident. For that matter, so could I or so could you.” She sighed. “I’m not saying it was easy. In fact, some days it was downright hard and scary, but it was worth it for the life we shared together. It was much better than never having shared it.” “That’s what Ryan says.” Esther stood and walked over to the kitchen window and stared out at the beach beyond. Her eyes went to the spot where she’d danced around the flames, the spot where Ryan had made love to her for the first time. Her breasts ached and she had to bite her bottom lip to keep from moaning aloud. “I like him already.” Esther laughed, as she knew her mother had intended her to. “You know,” her mother continued. “Whether or not you and Ryan had anything to do with Esther and James doesn’t really matter.” “What do you mean?” Of course it mattered. She didn’t want to go through the pain of losing him again.
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“You’re different people now. This is a different time. Maybe you have no connection to Esther and James.” Even as her mother said it, Esther knew neither of them believed it. They both knew there was a link between Esther and Ryan and what had happened all those centuries ago. “Only the past is set in stone, Esther. The future is yours to decide. It belongs to you and Ryan, and whatever you decide to do with it. It’s your choice.” Her mother’s words resonated inside her. “How did you get to be so wise?” Her mother gave a wry laugh. “Not so wise. Just a woman who has lived a few years longer than you have.” There was so much more she wanted to ask her mother, but there was no time. “Listen, Mom, I’ve got to go or I’ll be late for work.” “Okay. You take care. I love you.” “Love you too.” Esther said her goodbyes and hung up her phone before grabbing her purse and heading out the door. She liked to get to work a half hour early to get a feel for what was going on before she took over. She still hadn’t decided anything, but talking to her mother had made her feel better, even if she was still as confused as ever. She needed time to think. Esther strolled up the walkway of the familiar brick building that housed the police station as well as the dispatch center and the administrative offices for the fire department. The heavy ivy that covered a portion of the front of the building and one side was bare, the leaves long having fallen away leaving a tangle of vines. Jed Bearson was heading out at a fast clip as she reached for the door. He pushed his way through, but held it for her. “Hey, Esther.”
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“Hi, Jed.” Seeing the good-looking deputy reminded her of Maggie. Esther made a mental note to call her friend to see how she was doing. It had been too long since they’d last talked. “Gotta run.” The radio in his hand crackled as he bounded down the steps and hurried to his squad car. She watched as he pulled out of the lot, lights flashing and sirens blaring. The familiar pale green walls met her when as she strode into the dispatch area. She sensed immediately that something was up. There was a palpable tension in the air. Burt had been in such a hurry when he’d left. Esther hoped it was nothing too serious. Although whenever any of her officers went out on call it was serious as far as she was concerned. They faced a lot of danger even on routine calls. Carrie Franklin was glued to her monitor as she called the Burnt Cove Fire Department, giving them the location of a fire. Esther’s stomach jumped as she hurried over. “What’s going on?” “Big fire over at the old mill. That building’s been a fire waiting to happen for years and today is finally the day. They should have torn that thing down years ago.” Her co-worker paused her explanation to handle another call, continuing when she was finished. “Police and Fire have already been dispatched.” Esther’s tension went up several notches, but she took a deep breath to calm herself. This was just a normal call. The fire department would respond and they would get the blaze under control in no time. At least the mill was empty. She took several deep breaths to relax herself, but it didn’t help. Stowing her purse and heavy cardigan, she listened to the radio as Carrie received more information and sent more instructions over the lines. On edge, Esther strode to the break room, filled the kettle and set it to boil.
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She didn’t even know for certain that Ryan was working today. Goose bumps raced over her body and she shuddered. Closing her eyes, she wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her hands over her shoulders and upper arms, but it didn’t help. She still felt a cold dread building deep inside her. In her heart, Esther knew he was working, knew he was facing the deadly blaze while she stood here waiting for the kettle to boil so she could make tea. As if on cue, the water started to bubble. The mill was constructed totally of wood and had been abandoned for years. Kids routinely broke out what few panes of glass were left in the windows and sprayed graffiti on the walls. The place was filled with junk and there were still a few piles of sawdust at the back as well. Add all those things to the fact that they’d had a dry summer, and the thing would go up like a tinderbox. The town fathers had been trying to get the former mill owners to demolish the place and clean up the site for a while now, and there had even been talk of having town workers tear it down and sending the bill to the owners. Looks like they wouldn’t have to bother now. The place would be totaled. Opening her eyes, she quickly tossed a tea bag into her mug and filled it with boiling water. She picked it up and hurried back into the other room. She settled into her chair in front of the second console and tried to get her thoughts wrapped around her work. Since Carrie was already handling the fire, it would be up to her to deal with any other calls that came in. She gazed blindly at the screen in front of her, but all she could see was Ryan. His golden-brown eyes stared back at her, their expression filled with love and longing. His strong, blunt features changed slightly, as if another face was imposed upon it. James. She knew that they were very similar, but there were slight differences.
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For one thing, Ryan was quite a few years older than James had been when he died. Ryan was taller and stronger, too, due to years of physical training and a much better diet. Yet the similarities were unmistakable. Both men were honorable and kind and strong of character. And both of them loved her. Oh, God, she thought. This is it. Just like before, he’ll die and there will be nothing I can do to stop it. She forced herself to breathe slowly, trying to dispel the panic welling within her. In and out. In and out. Her heart was pounding so hard her chest hurt, but gradually it slowed back down to something resembling normal. They might be the reincarnation of James and Esther, but they weren’t them. Her mother was right. Their lives were different, their experiences were different and they were different. Only the past was set in stone. The future was whatever they chose to make of it. All her fears about having a relationship with Ryan suddenly seemed ridiculous. No matter what she said or did, it didn’t change how she felt. A wave of relief crashed over her, washing away all her doubts. The barrier around her heart was smashed to bits and love rushed in to fill the space. Yes, she still had fears, but in the light of everything else they seemed inconsequential when compared to what was at stake. And if Ryan Jamieson died in this fire, her heart would break. But unlike her ancestor, she wouldn’t have the years of memories with her love to comfort her. That’s what she conveniently blocked out each time she read and reread Esther’s journal. She’d ignored all the wonderful memories the other woman had written down, ignored the obvious love and joy the couple had shared together and focused only on the pain. In that moment, she knew if God and Ryan would give her another chance, she’d grab it with both hands and hold on tight. Yes, she was still scared out of
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her mind he might be injured at work, and she certainly knew it would play havoc with her nerves in the years to come, but she would deal with her fears. She was strong enough to handle the uncertainty and the dangers. It was still a small price to pay for the chance to share a love so deep it had crossed time and distance to find her. Unable to keep her mind on her own work, Esther pulled her chair up next to Carrie’s, paying rapt attention to all the incoming and outgoing calls, checking her logs. She needed to know what was going on. But most of all she prayed. Another call came in, asking for more engines to be dispatched. Carrie sent out the call, and within minutes more sirens could be heard in the distance. Esther’s nails bit into her palm as she clenched her hands tight in her lap. All her attention was focused on the radio chatter. Ten minutes passed and the extra firefighters and equipment were on the scene fighting the blaze. She was thankful that the building had been abandoned and they didn’t need to worry about rescue, only the fire. Esther glanced at her watch, noting she still had five minutes until her shift officially started. Her tea, left untouched, had gone cold once again, so she decided to go and make herself another cup. She scooted her chair back, grabbed her mug and headed to the break room. She felt calmer, more certain about the outcome. It would take them some time, but they would get the fire under control. They wouldn’t take any unnecessary chances. The building was old and was surely going to burn to the ground. The fire crews would be more concerned with containing the blaze and then extinguishing it, knowing it would burn itself out eventually. For the first time in days, Esther’s stomach settled down, the queasiness subsiding. She couldn’t wait to finish her shift and go in search of Ryan. They definitely needed to talk.
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Carrie was dispatching an ambulance when she returned from the break room with her cup of tea in hand. “What happened?” “Someone reported they’d seen kids playing inside. Firefighters got them all out okay, but one of the rescuers was injured.” Esther’s skin went clammy and she just managed to put her cup down before it slipped from her nerveless fingers. This was what she feared, what she had nightmares about. Even though deep in her gut she already knew, she had to ask. “Who?” she croaked. “The new guy. Ryan Jamieson. He got caught by a falling beam just as he handed out the last of the kids.” A picture flashed before her, a memory—a wooden timber breaking away and falling on James, crushing him to the ground, burning his flesh. The room spun and Esther grabbed the desk to keep from falling. This couldn’t be happening. “Are you okay?” She heard Carrie’s concern, but her voice sounded very far away. Next thing she knew she’d been pushed into a chair and her head was between her legs as her friend ordered her to breathe. She had to get a grip on herself. She had to go to Ryan. Sitting back, she stared into her friend’s worried face. “Can you cover my shift or stay until they can get a replacement in? I have to go.” “Sure. You don’t look too well. Maybe you should just lie down in the break room until I can get one of the patrol officers to take you home.” Esther was already on her feet and grabbing her purse. “I’ve got to go to the hospital.” Carrie’s eyes widened. Everyone knew her rule about not dating firefighters. It was almost legendary how she politely refused them all. “You and Ryan?”
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Esther nodded, no longer willing to deny her feelings for him. “Me and Ryan.” “You go on, but drive carefully. You won’t do either of you any good if you get killed in a car wreck on the way to the hospital.” Another call came in and Carrie waved her away as she went back to work. Grateful to her friend, Esther hurried out to the parking lot and slid into the driver’s seat of her car. It took her two tries to get the key into the ignition. Her hands shook as she put the vehicle in gear. Gripping the wheel tight, she took a deep breath. This was different from before, she assured herself. Ryan wasn’t alone, but surrounded by professional firefighters who knew how to get him out quickly. He’d also been wearing heavy, protective gear when he was hit. This wasn’t like what happened with James. Ryan was already receiving skilled medical attention, she reminded herself over and over as she drove. When she wasn’t trying to convince herself of that, she prayed. She was still praying as she pulled into the hospital parking lot and found an empty slot for her car. Jumping out of her vehicle, she raced toward the small emergency room. The ambulance was still parked by the entrance. The back door was wide open, but the vehicle was empty. Breathless, she rushed through the automatic sliding doors and over to the desk. “Ryan Jamieson. Firefighter. He was just brought in.” The nurse on the desk nodded, her face serious. “The doctor is with him now if you’ll just take a seat.” “I have to see him,” she insisted. Until she saw him with her own two eyes, she couldn’t relax. Her car keys cut into her palm, leaving pale, pink lines in the tender skin. She didn’t even remember removing them from the ignition. “Are you family?” the nurse inquired. “His fiancée.” It wasn’t really a lie, not if she had anything to say about it.
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“I’ll check with the doctor.” The nurse rose from her seat and disappeared behind the swinging doors. Esther paced back and forth in front of the doors as she waited. She glanced at the empty chairs but couldn’t bring herself to sit. She was too on edge. In a few hours, the room would be filled with firefighters checking on Ryan, but for now it was empty. Everyone else was still at the fire scene. What was taking so long? Her mind conjured all kinds of scenarios and none of them were good. She shoved them all aside, refusing to give in to the despair that threatened. Whatever happened, she loved Ryan. She clung to that fact as she continued to pace. She glanced over at the closed doors again, her feet involuntarily taking her closer to them. She’d just taken another step toward them when they swung open and the nurse stepped out. Esther’s heart jumped. “The doctor will be out as soon as he’s finished with Mr. Jamieson.” The other woman peered at her with concern. “Why don’t you have a seat while you wait?” the nurse suggested. Esther nodded, unable to speak, and headed toward the chairs. She sat for two seconds and then popped back up and began to pace again. There was no one else in the waiting room as she took eight steps in one direction, turned and took eight back. She lost count of how many times she turned, but her head began to spin. Dizzy, she was forced to sit. Lowering herself into one of the hard plastic chairs, she stared at the floor, noting that one of the ugly brown tiles was chipped. Ryan had to be okay. He had to be. Nothing else was acceptable. Surely fate wouldn’t thrust them together again only to pull them apart. But it had happened before and was a distinct possibility again.
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Esther rested her forearms on her knees, clasped her hands together and waited. Her head jerked up when she heard the doors swing open. An older, distinguished-looking doctor stood in the entrance, peering around. She could feel all the blood leaving her head in a rush as she stood, but she locked her knees and remained steady. “How’s Ryan?” Her voice was little more than a raspy whisper. The doctor held the door for her, ushering her inside. “You’re his fiancée?” “Yes.” She lied again. “Esther Roberts.” Her legs were shaky, but they held as she followed him. “I’m Doctor White.” He led her down a short hallway, stopping her outside a closed curtain. “He has some minor burns, some bumps and bruises. He’ll be stiff and sore for a while, but it’s nothing time and rest won’t cure.” Esther almost collapsed in relief and had to resist the urge to throw herself in the doctor’s arms and bawl like a baby. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” His bushy eyebrows raised as understanding filled his face. “No one told you his condition?” She shook her head. “Until this moment, I had no idea.” He smiled kindly at her. “Go on in and see him, but don’t stay too long. We have to get him cleaned up and settled in a room. We’ll keep him overnight for observation, but you can take him home tomorrow if he has a good night.” He pushed the curtain open. She squeezed the doctor’s arm in gratitude as she passed him. He smiled at her as he pulled the curtain shut behind him. Even injured, Ryan appeared large and vital against the stark white of the sheets. His face and neck were blackened with soot and she could see a pristine bandage wrapped around his left wrist and palm.
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Although she’d made no sound, he turned his head toward her. “I hear I have a fiancée?” His voice was slightly hoarse from the smoke. She hesitated. Maybe she’d been just a tad too forward. “I couldn’t think of any other way they’d let me see you.” He nodded, closing his eyes and swallowing. Esther hurried forward, wanting to be closer to him. “Can I get you anything?” He motioned to the glass with ice chips. Esther perched on the edge of the bed and fed him several. His tongue snaked out to lick her fingers. Gasping, she dropped a piece of ice on his bare chest, making him jerk. He couldn’t have done that on purpose, could he? Even as she asked the question the sheet below his waist began to twitch. Her gaze flew to his and he met it, unsmiling. “What can I say? I’m injured, not dead, and you inspire me.” His raspy voice was music to her ears. “Oh, Ryan.” Tears seeped from her eyes, rolling steadily down her face. “Hey.” He reached out his good hand and cupped her face, wiping awkwardly at her tears. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.” His endearment was the last straw. She buried her face against his chest and cried. The heavy thump of his heart reassured her, and he held her with his good arm as she shed her tears of fear and relief. When she was finally done, she sat back, swiping at her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Ryan. For everything.” His expression went blank. “I see.” “No,” she protested. “You don’t.” Before she could begin to explain, the curtain was pushed open and a nurse stood in the doorway. “I’m afraid you’ll have to leave for a bit. We’ve got to get Mr. Jamieson cleaned up and moved into his room.” The nurse, an older woman
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with a no-nonsense attitude, strode to the bedside and began to check Ryan’s blood pressure. “You should be able to see him again in an hour or two.” Esther stood uncertainly. Ryan’s face was turned partially away from her and his eyes were closed. “I’ll be waiting outside.” Ryan opened his eyes. The heat from moments before was gone. Maybe she’d imagined it. “You don’t have to wait.” His voice was flat. Even though the nurse was watching the reading on the blood pressure cuff, Esther knew she was listening to every word. “I want to.” “Suit yourself.” Ryan closed his eyes again, dismissing her. Pain rocked her, but she did her best to ignore it. She’d hurt him and they needed to talk about that. Without another word, she turned and left the curtained room.
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Chapter Nine
Ryan swallowed hard, ignoring the various aches in his body. She was sorry. For everything. The pain he felt was almost incapacitating and he groaned. “Are you in pain?” the nurse asked. He shook his head, not bothering to open his eyes. He felt the nurse hesitate and then she patted his arm as she removed the blood pressure cuff. “Try to relax. We’re going to move you now and get you cleaned up. The medication the doctor gave you will start to work soon and you’ll feel better.” He already felt light-headed, and he knew he was going to be sporting bruises on his back and his legs where the beams had caught him. But nothing was broken, he was alive and all the kids were safe. That was all that mattered. When he’d heard Esther was waiting to see him, hope had blossomed inside him. When she’d stepped into the room her face had been pale but composed. He’d waited for her to say something. Anything. And all she’d said was that she was sorry. He didn’t want her damn guilt. He’d seen the fear in her eyes when she’d reached the side of his bed and knew that his accident had fed into it. Then she’d said she was sorry. He could still hear the sadness in her soft voice, and he swallowed hard. He’d lost her. Hell, he’d never really had her. His life had been cut short in the past life they’d shared. This time, it was her cutting short their life together. It was her choice.
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Damned if it was. Determination filled him. He’d talk to her when he got out of the hospital. Make her see that they could have a life together. He opened his eyes and stared at the closed curtain. His vision was blurry, from the smoke or the pain medication, he wasn’t quite sure. He blinked, but it didn’t change. Was she still out in the waiting room or had she left? He hadn’t meant to be so abrupt with her, but her words had hurt him and he’d struck back instinctively. Heaving a sigh, he tried to sit. Bad idea. He heard the nurse’s voice in the background, felt the pain snake up his back and into his skull. Everything went dark. Esther wasn’t quite sure how she made her way back to the waiting room, but she somehow found herself sitting in one of the hard, ugly chairs. Suit yourself. Ryan’s words, delivered in such a hard, flat tone, were still ringing in her ears. He’d seemed happy to see her when she first entered the room. What had gone wrong? I’m sorry. For everything. That’s what she’d said. She mulled the words over in her mind and froze. “Oh, my God,” she muttered under her breath. What if he thought she’d meant she was sorry for everything that had happened between them? He couldn’t know that she meant she was sorry for not trusting what they had between them, for not trusting in love. What must he be thinking? There he was in a hospital bed in pain believing she regretted what had happened on the beach that night. It was almost too much for Esther to bear.
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Or maybe she was totally wrong. Maybe she’d waited too long to come to her senses and he no longer cared. No. She wouldn’t, couldn’t believe that. The connection they had, what they’d shared, was stronger. Squaring her shoulders, she reached into her purse for her cell phone. She needed to call her boss and arrange for a couple days off work. The mess with Ryan would have to wait until he recovered. They’d get this straightened out. One way or the other, he was going to listen to her. She’d tell him exactly how she felt and they’d go from there. It wasn’t too late to change things. Not this time. This time they were both still alive. And where there was life, there was hope. Ryan’s mouth felt dry and he licked his parched, cracked lips. He shifted slightly and heard the crinkle of crisp bed sheets beneath him. The slight smell of smoke was tinged with something medicinal. The hospital. Memory floated back in bits and pieces. He’d been at a fire doing a rescue when he’d gotten clipped by several falling beams on the way out. His fellow firefighters had pulled his sorry ass out and he’d been taken to the hospital. Esther had been here. He remembered her pale face and red-rimmed eyes. Her hand had been shaking when she’d fed him ice chips. Then she’d collapsed against him, crying as though her heart was breaking. Just the memory made his chest tighten painfully. He’d hated seeing her cry over him. That was the last thing he’d ever wanted to happen. He shifted and realized that he was naked beneath the sheet except for the hospital gown he was wearing. And those things were so short and flimsy he might as well be wearing nothing at all. Somewhere between the emergency room and where he was now, someone had stripped his gear and clothing off him. It was all pretty fuzzy, but he was
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almost certain he’d still had his underwear on when he’d been talking to Esther. But maybe not. They’d also given him a sponge bath. He could smell the soap and his skin felt clean. Fortunately, he’d slept right through it. Whatever medication the doctor had given him had certainly packed a punch. He cracked one eye open and sighed with relief when his vision was clear. Opening the other, he peered down at his body. His left wrist and hand were bandaged. He remembered removing his glove to check one of the kids. Then there’d been a huge cracking sound and fire had rained down upon them. There hadn’t been time to pull it back on. He’d just grabbed the kid and ran. He’d almost made it all the way out. Almost. He’d seen the daylight just beyond, but had still been a few steps away when the world around him had come crashing down. Still, it could have been worse. He flexed his fingers and grunted in satisfaction when they moved with little problem. The burns weren’t serious and would heal in no time. A soft noise to his left alerted him to the fact that he wasn’t alone. He swiveled his head around and his breath caught in his throat. Esther was asleep in a chair, her head tilted at an awkward angle. He winced in sympathy. Her neck was going to hurt when she woke. He knew he should wake her, yet he was reluctant to do so. Instead, he devoured her with his eyes, taking in her sleeping form from head to toe. She was dressed for work in brown slacks and beige turtleneck sweater. A thick cardigan the color of oatmeal was draped over the arm of the chair and her purse sat on the floor by her feet. Her hair was clipped back, giving him an unimpeded view of her heartshaped face. He narrowed his eyes. She looked thinner than she had even a few
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days ago, and there were dark shadows beneath her eyes. She didn’t look as if she was sleeping or eating any better than he was. As he watched, she shifted slightly in her sleep, giving a soft snuffle before settling back again. Her hands were clenched in her lap, her knuckles almost white. He was surprised she was still here. After what he’d said to her, he figured she’d be long gone. And wasn’t she supposed to be working today? She shifted again and frowned in her sleep. “Esther.” He said her name softly, not wanting to startle her. Her eyes snapped open immediately and she jerked upright, groaning softly as her stiff neck and back muscles protested their mistreatment. “Are you in pain? Can I get you anything?” She jumped to her feet, poised to move. He shook his head, surprised the throbbing there had toned down to a dull ache. “What time is it?” She glanced at the thin gold watch on her wrist. “It’s just past seven in the evening. You’ve been out of it for hours.” He nodded. “Whatever the doctor gave me knocked me out.” “You needed the rest.” She glanced down at her shoes and then out the window. She was nervous, he realized. “Hey.” Her head jerked up and she stared at him. “Thanks for staying.” “I wanted to.” He thought if she were wound any tighter, she’d snap. Her fingers were clenched into fists in her lap and she swallowed hard. Ryan paused, not quite sure what to say. He was saved from having to say anything by a light tap on the door.
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“That will be Abe again.” “The Chief?” Esther nodded as she headed for the door, rolling her shoulders slightly as if trying to relieve some of her tension. “He’s been checking every fifteen minutes or so for the past hour.” She tugged the door open. “Come on in, the patient just woke up.” Abe King strode into the room, his bushy white eyebrows narrowed in concern. “Hell of a way to get a few days off work, Jamieson.” Ryan grinned. Abe was crusty, but beneath the gruff exterior was a heart of gold. All his men respected him greatly. “Hey, I figured I could use a few days.” He began to cough unexpectedly. He felt Esther’s arm around him, helping him sit, while her free hand lightly rubbed his arm. “Just take it slow. Do you need any oxygen? I can call the nurse.” He drank in her care like a parched man would drink in water. Was he pathetic or what? He waved away her concern. “No, I’m fine.” When her face fell, he realized he was acting like a jerk. “I’m just parched. Maybe some water.” Her face lightened as she poured some water into a foam cup, popped a straw into it and held it close to his lips. The water was cool and sank into the dry tissue of his mouth before flowing down his throat. He drank almost the entire glass before he stopped. “That’s good. Thanks.” She took the cup away. “You’re welcome.” The Chief cleared his throat. “If you’re up to some visitors, most of the crew is waiting to see you.” He glanced over at Esther as if seeking permission. “The nurse said we could visit two at a time.”
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“That’s fine. I’ll just go down to the cafeteria and get some tea.” She grabbed her purse and hurried from the room. He would have protested except she’d left her sweater behind. That meant she had to come back. Abe stepped over to the side of the bed. “I didn’t know that you and Esther were…” He trailed off as if unsure of what to say. “Were what?” “Seeing each other.” “We’re not.” Abe frowned at him. “Not really,” Ryan clarified. “You might not really be seeing one another, but that lady tore out of work the second she heard you were hurt and hasn’t left the hospital since.” Ryan raked his good hand through his hair, swearing under his breath when his back and shoulders protested. “I don’t know what we are.” And that truth was bothering him. She wouldn’t have stayed if she didn’t care. But he already knew she cared. She wouldn’t have slept with him otherwise. She wasn’t the kind of woman who would take a man to her bed if she weren’t emotionally involved. It was fear of commitment to him that held her back, fear of what he did for a living. “Ah,” Abe sagely replied. “Women are strange creatures, Jamieson.” “You’re telling me,” he groused. “Whatever the problem, work it out. Esther is special. As far as I know she hasn’t dated since she moved here and it’s not because no one has asked her.” He heard the underlying threat in Abe’s voice. “I won’t hurt her. I’d never do anything to hurt her.” And that was nothing but the truth. He loved Esther more than he thought it was possible to love another person. All he wanted was her happiness.
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The thought settled like lead in his gut that she might be happier without him, without the constant worry and sleepless nights that would be her fate if they were together. “Good enough.” Abe headed for the door. “I’ll send in the guys two at a time.” As he reached the door, he turned. “You did good today, Jamieson. Those kids got out alive because of you. Take whatever time you need to get back on your feet. I’ll be talking to your doctor to find out how long you’ll need, so don’t try and sneak back too soon.” Ryan felt humbled by the older man’s praise. “Thanks.” Abe nodded and pulled the door open. “Jenkins and Baker, you’re in first.” Ryan barely had time to brace himself before two of his buddies strode in the room, large smiles on their faces and take-out bags in their hands. “The doc said you could eat if you were up to it. Baker wanted to bring some of his homemade chili, but I talked him out of it.” Jenkins tugged a table on casters closer to the bed and plunked the bag he was holding down on top of it. Ryan chuckled. As Jenkins opened the bag, the aroma of fried chicken hit Ryan and his stomach groaned. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Jenkins hauled out a plate and piled three pieces of chicken, French fries and coleslaw on it before placing it in front of Ryan. Baker opened his bag and pulled out several bottles of water. “Nothing stronger than water for you yet though. You need to get hydrated.” Ryan picked up a piece of the chicken and bit into it. He chewed and swallowed. “Thanks, guys.” Baker shrugged. “It’s nothing. Eat.” They talked of inconsequential things as they ate. The fire was out, but a crew would watch for hotspots for a day or two. The kids they’d rescued were
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fine and home with their parents. Life was pretty much back to normal for everyone else. Ryan managed to eat half of what was on his plate before he had to lay back and rest. After their ten minutes was up, Jenkins and Baker left and were replaced by two more buddies from the station. By the time a dozen men had come and gone, Ryan’s eyes were closing again. He was exhausted, plus the nurse had been by with another round of medication for him. He’d been amused at the way two of his buddies had made calf-eyes at the pretty blonde nurse. She ignored their antics and watched to make sure Ryan took all his medication. Then she turned to his buddies. “Five more minutes, gentlemen.” Both of them laid their hands over their hearts and pretended to swoon. The nurse snorted at them and left, but not before Ryan glimpsed the beginnings of a smile on her face. He knew the guys were joking around to try to cheer him up and it was working, for the most part. There was still a piece of him that jumped to alert every time the door opened. His heart sank each time it wasn’t Esther. His buddies sensed the change in him and mistook it for exhaustion. They got up, said their goodbyes and left, promising to drop by and see him at home after he was released. The doctor had already told him that he could leave tomorrow morning if there were no problems overnight. Ryan wasn’t anticipating any problems. He just wished that Esther would come back so they could talk. As if he’d summoned her, the door pushed slowly open and Esther stuck her head inside. Esther had just said goodbye to the last of Ryan’s friends from work, but she’d waited an extra few minutes, half-hoping that he’d be asleep by the time
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she went in to say goodnight. It was nine o’clock and visiting hours were now over. Sitting in the waiting room with the firefighters had reminded Esther of what a tight-knit group they were. Cops and firefighters, there were no others like them. When one was hurt or in need they all turned out. It brought back vivid memories of her past, memories she wanted to forget. Yet not all the memories were bad. She’d grown up with more honorary “uncles” then she could count. All of the men her father had worked with had eaten at her parents’ table at one time or another. And she had eaten at theirs as well. Summer pool parties, barbecues, Christmas parties and special occasions, all were shared with one another. Esther had pushed that from her memory, concentrating only on her father’s death and the days that had followed. Even after his death, his friends had rallied around them, making sure they were okay. Wives had brought food and stayed to chat and some of the men had talked to her and her brothers. To this day, if her mother needed any repairs done around the house all she had to do was pick up the phone and she’d have all the help she needed. Those were the kinds of men and women who went into those professions, and Ryan was one of them. She’d been surprised when the Chief stopped by to speak with her. Taking their cue from him, all the men did the same as they left, reassuring her that Ryan was tough and he’d be back on his feet in no time. She knew by now the fact that she’d raced to the hospital the moment he’d been hurt was common knowledge. Everyone was already speculating on their relationship, but not in a mean way.
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Their care and concern had touched her heart, melting the last of the barriers that she’d kept around it for so very long. Now if only she could find the right words to say to Ryan. When she pushed the door open and poked her head into the room, he was still awake. “Hey.” She went inside and let the door close behind her. “Visiting hours are over.” He watched her as she went to the chair and picked up her sweater. “It was good to see the guys.” She nodded as she slipped her sweater on, taking the time to do up all the buttons. It would be chilly outside now. “Ryan,” she began at the same time he said her name. “You first,” he said as he settled back on the bed. He hardly looked like a man who’d been hurt fighting a blaze and rescuing several kids today. If it weren’t for the bandage on his wrist and hand, she’d never have known he’d been hurt. A fierce need to care for him and love him welled up inside her. “The doctor said you’d be going home in the morning.” “Yeah.” Esther clutched her purse in her hands. “I want you to come home with me. We need to talk.” Ryan watched her for so long that she began to fidget. His face softened and he held out his hand. “Are you sure? One of the guys will take me home, and I’m sure they’ll check up on me. Not that I need it, mind you.” Even now, he was giving her an out. Esther had never loved him more. “I’m sure.” She stepped over to the side of the bed. “I want to.” Bending down, she brushed her lips over his. His good hand came up to cup the back of her neck, holding her close as he deepened the kiss. She angled her face and increased the pressure, loving the feel of his mouth against hers. His
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tongue tangled with hers and when his hand fell away, they were both breathless. “You taste like chicken,” she blurted out. Ryan chuckled. “Some of the guys brought food.” “I should have thought of that.” She felt bad for not even considering it. “You had other things on your mind.” His eyes began to close and he couldn’t stifle a yawn. “Sleep,” she told him. “You’ll be back in the morning?” “I’ll be back,” she promised him as he finally gave up the fight and let his eyes close all the way. “Good.” She waited, but he didn’t say anything else. Within minutes, he was asleep. There was a light tap on the door and Esther hurried to open it. The same blonde nurse who’d been around since late afternoon was waiting outside. “I’m leaving now. He’s finally asleep.” The nurse smiled at her. “He should get a good night’s sleep. He’ll feel much better in the morning.” Esther hated to leave him and it must have shown in her expression. “I promise I’ll call you if his condition changes,” the nurse added. “Thank you.” Gratitude flowed through her. The nurse patted her arm. “My man’s a cop, so I know what I’d feel like if it were him in that bed. I get off at midnight, but I’ll leave a note on his chart for you to be contacted if anything changes.” Ryan was her man. There was no use in trying to deny it any longer. Esther glanced at the woman’s nametag. “I really appreciate that, Leslie.” Holding out her hand, she introduced herself. “I’m Esther.”
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Chapter Ten
Ryan was restless by the time Esther showed up just past eleven the next morning. The doctor had come and gone, pronouncing him fit to go home. Rest was what he’d prescribed for the next few days, that and a heating pad applied to his back to help loosen and relax the muscles. The bruises and strained muscles weren’t serious, but they were making themselves known this morning. The bandages on the burns needed to be changed every day until his follow-up visit with the doctor and then, hopefully, he’d be able to lose them altogether. She pushed into the room, a tentative smile on her face. “Looks like you’re all ready to go.” “Yeah.” He was more than ready to be out of this place. He wanted to be alone with Esther so they could talk. “All the paperwork is done and Baker dropped off some clean clothes for me this morning.” Esther chewed on her bottom lip. “He mentioned he would last night before he left.” “I had some sweat pants and T-shirts at work.” He indicated the black pants and white shirt he wore. His buddy had also brought him a change of underwear and a pair of sneakers. “It’ll do until I get home.” “I thought you were coming home with me,” she blurted out. His heart began to pound. “I thought that was just so we could talk.” She shook her head. “I want you to stay until you’re better. At least until you get the bandage on your hand removed.”
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A nurse knocked and bustled into the room before he could comment, and in no time he found himself seated in a wheelchair being pushed down the hall to the waiting elevator. He hated the wheelchair, but knew it was hospital procedure. In no time they were at the main entrance. While he waited in the foyer, Esther hurried to the parking lot to bring her car around. He’d protested that he could easily walk, but she’d just scowled at him and rushed away. Ryan was bemused by her protective attitude, but it also gave him hope. When she pulled her car up beside the door, he stood, thanked the nurse and began to shuffle toward the passenger side. His back and legs were stiff, but the only way that was going to change was if he moved around and did some light stretching. Esther scowled but said nothing as she stowed the paper bag with his few belongings in the backseat—his buddies had already taken his work gear back to the station. Ryan lowered himself gingerly into the passenger seat, trying to ignore the tremors in his body and the sweat on his brow. Man, he was whipped. He felt her reaching across him, her soft breast brushing against his arm as she grabbed his seatbelt and tugged it over his chest, snapping it in place. She put on her own seatbelt and pulled away from the hospital. Her fresh scent lingered in his nostrils—the light smell of flowers mixed with the unique perfume of Esther herself. His body responded immediately. He glanced down at his sweat pants. Sure enough, the fabric was tenting slightly as his erection grew. Taking a deep breath, he tried to bring his body back under control, but it wasn’t easy, especially since Esther kept glancing over at him every few seconds. “Are you okay?” Her soft voice skittered over his skin and his cock jerked.
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“Yeah.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. Relaxing his hands, which were fisted tight, he took several breaths. By the time the car turned into her driveway, he had himself under control again. Getting his battered body out of the vehicle was a challenge, but he managed it with a minimal amount of swearing. Esther was by his side the entire time, offering support when he needed it, but stepping aside when she sensed he needed to do something for himself. By the time he made it to her living room, he was sweating again. “This way.” She tossed her coat and purse aside, tucked her arm around his waist, and guided him down the hallway. He raised his eyebrow in question, but she kept her gaze stubbornly fastened on the floor. He almost groaned aloud when the bed came into view. This was the bed where he’d made love to Esther, the bed where he’d held her in his arms as they slept. It was also a bed he could stretch out on, and right now he needed that more than just about anything else. He lowered himself to the side of the bed and she knelt at his feet and unlaced his sneakers. Ryan stared down at her bent head. Her brown hair was clipped back at her nape, allowing him to see the curve of her cheek. Her face was tinged a light pink, whether from exertion or embarrassment, he wasn’t sure. Either way it made her look sexy and sweet at the same time. Many times he’d dreamed of having Esther on her knees in front of him. But in his fantasies she was naked and he wasn’t injured. She tugged off his sneakers and socks and sat back on her heels. Ryan swallowed hard. Damn, he loved this woman. Whether it was because of the life they’d shared in the past or because of who she was now didn’t matter. Both lives melded together in his mind until he couldn’t separate one from the other.
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“Why am I here?” His patience was at an end. He needed to know where he stood with her, where their relationship was headed. Esther stared up at him, her blue eyes wide. She met his gaze straight on and Ryan was filled with a certainty that the next few minutes would decide the course of his entire life. Esther glanced at the red votive candle sitting on her bedside table. A reminder of the night Rhiannon had cast a spell to bring them all, not a lover as they planned, but a love that was true. She already had that and had almost thrown it away. Whether or not the spell actually worked, bringing her and Ryan together on Halloween night, or if it had been inevitable for them from the beginning was no longer important. He was here now and that was all that mattered. She fought the urge to fidget under his intense gaze. His golden-brown eyes watched her without blinking. She felt as though he was seeing inside her, right into her very soul. She knew she owed him nothing less than the truth, especially after what she’d put him through. “I know I’ll always have unreasonable fears and worries about your job,” she began. He started to speak, but she held up her hand to forestall him. “But I can live with them.” Her mouth tightened and she raised her chin. “What I can’t live without is you.” His eyes widened. The relief she saw there quickly fled, replaced by sheer lust. Esther swallowed hard, her body responding to the sexual desire she sensed growing in Ryan. But she needed to get this said, wanted him to understand exactly how she felt about him. Placing her hands on his knees, she laid her heart bare before him.
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“When I heard that call yesterday, I realized that it was already too late.” She shuddered at the memory. She’d almost lost him again before she’d really had him. His strong hand reached out and covered hers. “It’s all right,” he soothed. She shook her head. It wouldn’t be all right, not until he knew. “I love you, Ryan Jamieson,” she blurted out. “I don’t know exactly how or when it happened, but it did. So I might as well have all the joy and happiness that comes with it. I’ll deal with the fears as best I can, but I won’t give you up.” His fingers wrapped around hers, clasping them tight. “I told you neither time nor distance would keep me from you. It just took me a while to keep my promise.” He paused and then broke off, flexing his injured hand, reminding her quite vividly that he wasn’t recovered from his ordeal yet. “You need to rest.” He shook his head. His hands were firm, yet gentle as he spread his legs wide and pulled her close. “What I need is you.” Their lips met and melded together. Esther lost herself in the pure sensation of having Ryan’s body surrounding her. His legs cradled her and she leaned into him, needing to be closer. His arms wrapped around her shoulders, holding her steady as he deepened the kiss. She could feel the heavy thud of his heart against her palm. Her own beat to the same primal rhythm. Her blood thickened as it coursed through her veins, sending ribbons of desire flowing to every part of her body. Her breasts tingled and her sex ached. The thick stubble on his jaw brushed against her skin. She cupped his face lovingly, imagining him rubbing it over the rest of her body—slightly rough and fully exciting. Ryan pulled away. “I want you.” He trailed hot, openmouthed kisses down her neck.
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“You’re hurt.” Her protest was slight and she knew it. She wanted him too. “Not that hurt.” Emotion filled Esther until she thought she would burst from it. A lock of his thick brown hair had fallen onto his forehead and she reached out to push it aside. He reared back and captured one of her fingers in his mouth, sucking on it. Up and down, he glided his teeth and tongue over her finger until she was all but gasping for air. Her breasts ached, pressing against the confines of her bra. Between her thighs was a deep emptiness that only Ryan could fill. He released her finger slowly, dragging his tongue over the side. Esther groaned as he cupped her face in his hands and tilted it up. “Lie with me.” She nodded and pushed away, coming to her feet. She wasn’t entirely steady, but he clasped his hands around her waist until she regained her balance. Stepping away, she toed off her shoes and reached down to tug off her socks. His eyes never left her as she popped open the button on her jeans and tugged the zipper down. The front of his sweat pants began to bulge outward. Esther grinned at the evidence of his desire for her. He followed her gaze and shrugged. “I always want you, babe.” Bolstered by his very blatant show of desire, she slid the buttons of her blouse from their holes one at a time. The material parted, exposing her pale blue bra, which matched her underwear. She’d put them on this morning because they made her feel sexy and confident. She shrugged her shoulders, letting the material slide down her arms and fall to the floor behind her. Making a low rumbling sound in his throat, Ryan reached out and cupped her lace-covered breasts. Her nipples puckered, pressing against the flimsy material. He brushed his thumbs over them and Esther creamed her panties.
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“So pretty.” He continued to tease her nipples. “And so responsive.” He dropped his hands back down by his sides. “Finish it, Esther. I need to see you.” His voice was thick and gruff with need and her belly quivered. She hooked her hands inside her jeans and shimmied them down her hips and thighs. They pooled around her ankles and she stepped out of them, kicking them out of her way. Clad only in her panties and bra, she faced him. His hands were clenched at his sides, his nostrils flaring with each breath he took. His jaw was hard, his lips a thin line. His features appeared almost brutal, but Esther wasn’t afraid. She was proud. Proud she aroused him to such a degree. Placing her hands on her stomach, she slid them over her torso. Excitement rushed through her as Ryan focused on her every move. Cupping her breasts in her hands, she squeezed them. It wasn’t enough. She wanted his hands on her body. Reaching behind her, she unhooked the bra and leaned forward, letting it fall down her arms and away from her. Her breasts felt fuller, heavier. Ryan licked his lips. Esther felt another surge of cream flood her panties as her inner muscles contracted. His arm snaked out and wrapped around her, tugging her between his legs. His large palms squeezed her ass before sliding down the backs of her thighs and around to the front. The bandage of his left hand was a stark reminder that she’d almost lost him. “You’re wet for me, aren’t you?” She nodded, unable to speak. “I can smell your arousal.” Leaning forward, he nuzzled her belly as he took a deep breath. “Damn, you’re hot.” His fingers rubbed over the outside of her panties, teasing her. She tilted her hips inward and he laughed.
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“You want me to touch you, don’t you? You want me to slide my fingers deep into your hot pussy and stroke in and out until you come?” Oh, mercy. He was going to make her come with just words. She was burning up inside and out, her inner muscles pulsing hard and fast. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?” He let his fingers barely stroke over her clit. Even through the barrier of her underwear it was electric. She moaned as he pulled his hand back. “Show me, sweetheart,” he whispered. On fire for him, she shoved her panties down her legs with more haste than finesse. With no hesitation, she reached between her thighs and pulled back the folds of her labia, exposing herself to him. His fingers stroked the inside of her thigh before going higher, gliding over her heated flesh before withdrawing. He brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them. “Sweet.” Her legs buckled and she stumbled, but he caught her and lowered her to her knees in front of him. The position brought her straight in line with the front of his sweat pants. She wrapped her hand around his shaft as best she could. Even through the fleece material, she could feel the hard, hot pulse of him and it made her squirm. “Take them off.” She barely recognized her own voice it was so low and harsh. Ryan lifted his butt long enough to tug both sweat pants and boxers off at the same time. It was awkward with only one good hand, but he managed. Esther helped, pulling them off and shoving them aside. His erection was full and thick. Heavy blue veins ran the length of his shaft. It pulsed with desire as she shifted closer. The bulbous head was wider than the shaft and wet with arousal.
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Esther nuzzled his balls, drinking in his musky scent. His fingers tangled in her hair, catching in the clip. She heard him curse and then the clip was gone, her hair falling loose around her shoulders. Gripping her head securely, he urged her closer. Starting at the base of his shaft, she traced a prominent blue vein with her tongue. One of her hands wrapped around the base of his shaft while the other cupped the heavy sac between his legs. Holding him steady, she twirled her tongue around the head, flicking over the tip. He groaned and gripped her head harder. She tasted his essence on her tongue—salty and warm. Lowering her mouth over him, she teased the sensitive skin at the base of the head before sucking hard. Ryan laughed and swore at the same time. “Esther.” Her name was nothing more than a ragged plea. He held her head steady and began to fuck her mouth. With each flex of his hips, he pushed deeper. She relaxed and took him as deep as she was able. His cock glided in and out of her mouth. She squeezed his balls gently, feeling them pull tighter against his body. Her breasts ached, so she instinctively rubbed her nipples against his leg, reaching for satisfaction. The wiry hair and tough muscle only made them hurt even more. There was no relief and she undulated her hips, unconsciously matching his rhythm. “Enough.” He pulled her back and she released him with a loud, wet popping sound. The head of his cock glistened and a pearl of liquid beaded from the tip. She tried to lick it off, but he stopped her. “I’ll come if you do that, and I want to be balls deep inside you when I let go.” Esther wanted that too. She surged to her feet, grabbed a handful of his Tshirt and dragged it over his head. He flinched and she was forcefully reminded
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of his injuries. She started to stop, but he took over from her and carefully removed his top. “I don’t want to hurt you.” “The only way you could hurt me is by stopping.” He shifted back on the bed until he was lying in the middle, his head resting on the pillows. “You’ll have to do most of the work though.” Esther smiled as she tugged open the drawer to the nightstand and pulled out the box of condoms she’d bought last night on her way home from the hospital. Opening one, she sat on the bed alongside Ryan and quickly rolled the latex sheath over his hard length. She straddled him and his hands settled on her hips, guiding her as she lowered herself onto his erection. There was no time for teasing. They both needed this way too much to wait any longer. Esther could feel his girth stretching her inner muscles. It wasn’t enough to hurt, but enough to make her feel as if she was full to bursting. It felt…good…right. She was so aroused she slid easily down his shaft until she’d taken every last inch of him within her. Her hands rested on his rock-hard abs for support. His skin was hot and slick beneath her hands. She tried to catch her breath, but it was impossible. She raised herself slightly and came back down again. Ryan groaned and this time when she moved, he was ready. He arched his hips upward, driving his cock even deeper. His palms covered her breasts, her nipples hard against the center of his hands. She tilted her head back and began to ride, finding a rhythm that pleased them both. Ryan teased one of her tight nipples with his thumb and forefinger.
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His other hand slipped lower, foraging between her thighs and finding her swollen clit. He brushed it lightly. Once. Twice. That’s all it took. Like a volcano erupting, Esther felt everything inside her explode. Her thigh muscles tensed and quivered. Her lips parted on a scream. Her pussy clenched hard and long. Her orgasm shot through her, expanding to her entire body, consuming her. Her mind went blank as she rode out the waves of pleasure. Ryan’s rough growl went through her like a bolt of lightning. He gripped her hips and pumped his hips several more times. She felt him tense, felt his heat even through the latex barrier as he came. He groaned and his body bowed with pleasure. Aftershocks rocked her and she slumped forward, unable to hold herself upright any longer. Ryan wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her safe against his much larger body. She snuggled closer, needing to feel his skin against hers. She simply lay there, absorbing every sensation. Esther felt closer to Ryan in that moment than she ever had to another person. She never wanted it to end. But it couldn’t last. Her breathing finally settled and she lifted her head. Ryan’s eyes were closed, his breathing deep. She wondered if he’d fallen asleep even as his eyes opened. She smiled and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. He looked like a wreck and she imagined that she didn’t look any better. Their bodies were practically stuck together. She felt his flaccid shaft slide from her. “That was…” She licked her lips and tried again. “That was amazing.” “It was more than amazing.” He reached out and plucked several tissues from a box on the bedside table, wincing as his injured muscles protested.
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She wanted to offer her help, but had to trust he’d ask for assistance if he needed it. He quickly disposed of the used condom. Settling back on the mattress, he hooked a strand of her hair over her ear. “Esther,” he began, his tone serious. “I know most folks would never believe us, but I know in my heart that I loved you in another life.” She nodded knowingly. She felt exactly the same way. “But,” he continued. “I’m not the same man I was then, and you’re not the same woman.” She tensed and propped herself up on her arm so she could see him better. A chill went through her so she tugged the sheet over her, tucking it under her arms. What did he mean by that? His hand rubbed her nape, stroking and soothing the tense muscles. “We may be different people, shaped by our experiences in this life, but, Esther—” he caught her gaze with his and she could see the emotion swirling in them, “—my soul knows yours.” He shook his head, making the crisp pillow case crinkle beneath him. “From the moment I saw you, I was drawn to you—your beauty, your intelligence, your sense of humor and everything that makes you who you are.” “Oh, Ryan.” She laid her hand gently against the side of his face. “I feel the same way too. It scared me,” she admitted. “I know.” He turned his head into her hand and kissed her palm. “I’m just glad that you changed your mind. We both would have lived fine lives, but I would have always felt as if there was something missing without you.” “I’m still afraid, but I know I can get past it. Living without you is no longer an option for me.”
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“I love you.” The color of his brown eyes deepened. “Marry me, Esther? Marry me again.” Fear reared its ugly head. She imagined all those times his job would draw him away from her, never knowing if he was coming back. The fear was quickly pushed aside by the happiness blooming within her. Esther leaned down and gently kissed his lips, loving this man enough to face any fears or problems to come. “I love you, Ryan. I’ll marry you. I’d marry you again a hundred times.” His slow smile made her toes curl and, when he reached for her, she felt as if she’d finally come home for good.
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Epilogue
Esther looked around the dining room table and smiled. It was late November and dinner was at her house tonight. She’d made a huge pot of spaghetti and served it with a mound of spinach salad and several loaves of garlic bread. There were three pies in the kitchen—apple, cherry and pumpkin— waiting to be sliced. With three men to feed, they needed a lot more food than they used to. “You okay, babe?” Ryan leaned closer, linking his fingers with hers beneath the cover of the table. He’d totally recovered from his injuries and had been back to work for a week. He was still stuck at a desk but expected to be medically cleared and back in full rotation within the next week. “I’m great.” She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. She still worried about him, but her fears were tempered by the love they shared. Rhiannon laughed at something Maggie said, drawing her attention. Ryland and Jed smiled, both of them clearly besotted with their women. Who knew when they’d cast that candle-magick spell asking for a lover that they’d all end up finding men they’d fall in love with. There was definitely magick in the air tonight, but magick of a different kind. What was left of the infamous red votive sat in a clear holder in the center of the table, the flame flickering bright. It would fade by evening’s end, but that was okay. It was time for a new beginning.
Love in Flames
Esther stood slowly, pushing back her chair. Ryan’s chair scraped over the floor as he stood beside her, waiting for her to speak. “I have an announcement to make.” Her friends went silent, waiting. Rhiannon smiled and waved, flashing her engagement ring. Esther laughed. She supposed she couldn’t keep secrets from a witch. Or maybe it had more to do with just being good friends. Maggie was also fiddling with her engagement ring. Her friends were already engaged. She was the last of the three. Taking a deep breath, she took the final step toward the future. “Ryan and I are getting married.” The women squealed and jumped up, hurrying over to Esther to hug her. The men all shook hands. When all the congratulations had died away, Ryan reached into his pocket, pulled out a ring and slipped it on her finger. “Now and forever,” he whispered before he kissed her. Now and forever. The words echoed in her head as her lips met his.
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About the Author
N.J. Walters has always been a voracious reader of romance novels and decided one day that she could write one as well. The contemporary story, Discovering Dani, was the very first novel she wrote while living in a little town much like the one Dani O’Rourke lives in, though all other similarities to Dani’s life pretty much end there. Then she wrote another one that followed up on Dani’s friends and neighbors. But she didn’t consider herself a “real” writer yet. Just a few years later N. J. had a mid-life crisis at a fairly young age, gave notice after ten years at her job on a Friday and received a tentative acceptance for her first published novel (an erotic romance) from a publisher on the following Sunday. Happily married for over eighteen years to the love of her life, with his encouragement and support she gave up the job of selling books for the more pleasurable job of writing them. She now spends her days writing, reading and reviewing books. It’s a tough life, but someone’s got to do it. And some days she actually feels like a “real” writer. N.J.
enjoys
hearing
from
readers,
and
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can
be
reached
[email protected]. You can check out her web site at www.njwalters.com.
at
Look for these titles by N.J. Walters
Now Available: Jamesville Discovering Dani The Way Home The Return of Patrick O’Rourke The Seduction of Shamus O’Rourke A Legal Affair By the Book Past Promises Legacy Alexandra’s Legacy Isaiah’s Haven Legacy Found Spells, Secrets and Seduction A Touch of Magic Dreams of Seduction
If you go casting love spells, be careful what you wish for.
A Touch of Magick © 2010 N.J. Walters
Spells, Secrets and Seductions, Book 1 Rhiannon Sparks admits she’s not a very good witch—she can’t even light a candle without a match—but she keeps trying. At least her talent for business has made her magick shop a huge success. Now if only there was even the faintest flicker in her nonexistent love life. During a night of eating and drinking, she and her girlfriends cast a candlemagick spell for hot sex. All in good fun, of course. Except Rhiannon accidentally mixes up the words. Instead of a lover, she asks for true love. Deputy Ryland Stone’s past keeps him firmly rooted in reality. Then he meets Rhiannon and sparks literally fly. One date leads to another, and then they’re practically setting the bedroom on fire…until she reveals the deal breaker. Though love and magick have found Rhiannon at last, getting a handle on her newly unleashed power is the least of her problems. Unless Ryland accepts that magick exists, he will never accept her for who and what she is. Warning: This book contains a simple candle-magick spell, which you use at your own risk, a disastrous date, phone sex, and enough sizzle to practically set the sheets on fire. Enjoy the following excerpt for A Touch of Magick: She stepped back and looked at the two women she loved liked sisters. “I still think we all need to get laid.”
They both laughed, as she’d hoped, and the atmosphere was lightened once again. “What do you propose?” Esther appeared intrigued by the idea. “Something simple. Like I said, I’m not a very good witch. I’ve got issues.” Maggie giggled. “You need a self-help group or something.” Rhiannon laughed in spite of herself. It wasn’t a topic she usually found funny, but she supposed it did sound a bit ridiculous. Esther shrugged. “I’m in. What can it hurt?” Both of them looked at Maggie, who held up her hands in mock defeat. “Okay. I don’t think it will work, but I’m game.” Pleased that her friends were willing to try her experiment, Rhiannon went over to the large oak cabinet dominating almost one entire wall of the dining area, and pulled open one of the drawers. This was where she kept all her magickal supplies. It only took her a moment to collect what they’d need. “Let’s go outside. The moon is almost full and will add power to our spell.” She headed out the back door with her friends tight at her heels. Abigail slipped out with them and raced ahead, down the steps and into the secluded yard. The long cotton skirt she wore fluttered in the light breeze. The air was crisp, but it wasn’t too cold. The moon hung like an orb in the sky, illuminating the garden. Rhiannon loved this time of year. There was so much magick in the air you could almost touch it. An owl hooted in the distance. The large yard was one reason she’d bought this house. With mature trees and no close neighbors, it gave her the privacy to practice any rituals or spells she chose. Plus, she enjoyed the feeling of being alone in her garden. “So what do we do?” Esther was on her right side trying to see what she was carrying. Rhiannon could hear the slightest bit of nervousness in Esther’s voice. Maggie walked silently on her other side.
They reached the center of the garden and she stopped and handed both women a red votive candle. “First, we’ll anoint the red candles with rose oil. Both are representative of passion. Start in the middle of the candle and stroke down to the bottom. When you’re finished, go back to the middle and then stroke the oil up to the top of the candle.” She handed off the oil and they all began to rub the fragrant scent into the candles. The night was cool but not overly cold. Maybe it was the remnants of the wine keeping her warm. Or perhaps it was the thought of having sex sometime in the near future that heated her blood. “As you do this, think about the kind of man you’d want to have sex with. Be specific without naming a person.” “Why?” Maggie stopped what she was doing. “Because you should never try to manipulate anyone with magick. That’s bad and will rebound on you in ways you won’t like. What you want to do is draw someone with the characteristics you want. They’ll only come if they’re willing.” “Okay.” Maggie went back to her task. Rhiannon noticed Esther was concentrating fiercely on her candle. Rhiannon focused her attention on the candle in her hand. It warmed as she ran her fingers up and down its length. Her bangles tinkled with each stroke she made, like wind chimes blowing in the breeze. She pushed them high on her arm, wanting to be able to concentrate solely on what she was doing. Closing her eyes, she thought about the kind of man she wanted. She wanted a man who was honest and loyal, one who had morals without being selfrighteous. He’d be strong, with wide shoulders and piercing blue eyes. His fingers would be calloused, but they’d be gentle as they stroked over her body. A
shiver skated down her spine. Her breasts felt heavy and a low pulse of desire began to throb deep in her belly. Her eyes popped open and she sucked in a breath of the cool evening air. The breeze caressed her skin like a phantom lover, teasing and touching her everywhere. In spite of the chill, a bead of sweat rolled down the length of her spine. She shuddered and wrapped her hand around the small votive candle, envisioning all her sexual frustration flowing from her and into the wax. Thankfully, both of her friends were focusing so hard on their candles, they hadn’t noticed anything amiss. When they were all done, Rhiannon placed her votive candle on the patio stone that sat in the middle of her garden for this very purpose. She motioned to her friends and they did the same. The three red candles now sat in the middle of the stone, the scent of rose perfume surrounding them. “If I was doing a big ritual, I’d cast a circle and do more elaborate preparations, but this is simple candle magick.” She stepped forward and lit her candle, then handed off the matches to Esther so she could light hers. Esther then passed the matches to Maggie. The flames leapt into the air, diffusing the scent of the rose oil into the air. Rhiannon stepped up close to the candles and raised her hands in the air. The other two women did the same, and they all touched their fingers together, forming a circle around the burning flames. Tipping her head back, Rhiannon stared at the moon, drawing its energy down to her. “Lady Moon in the sky so bright. Lend your power. Lend your might. Bring to us a love that’s true. And one that one day we won’t rue. In this time and in this hour, we three ladies ask this of thee. We ask this done and harm to none, what we have wrought here now is begun.” A breeze came up suddenly, whipping around them, but not extinguishing the flames. Rhiannon could sense the power building in the center of their circle,
spiraling upward and outward. Her fingers tingled and her entire body vibrated. Tension stretched her nerves to the breaking point. The energy shot upward and outward, flinging itself toward the heavens. The breeze subsided and the candles flickered and died. The women slowly lowered their hands back to their sides. “Did it work?” Maggie glanced nervously around the yard. “Only time will tell.” Rhiannon didn’t want to tell the women of the huge amount of power she’d felt welling up between them. She nibbled her bottom lip. Maybe it wouldn’t work at all. Maybe it would work too well. She had no idea what had possessed her to ask for a true love instead of a lover. She shook her head. What was done was done. Her magick tended to not work that well anyway, so there was really no need to worry.
She doesn’t believe in magic—or love. Until a spirit goes walking on the wild side…
Dreams of Seduction © 2011 N.J. Walters
Spells, Secrets and Seductions, Book 2 Maggie O’Neill goes along with her two best friends’ candle-magick spell to summon a lover only because, well, they are her BFFs. She doesn’t really believe in this stuff. Yet the aftermath of the spell leaves her strangely hot and bothered, and then the dreams of a man start—and not just any man. Jed Bearson. Pity, since she’s sworn off men for the foreseeable future. Jed, part-time deputy and painter, doesn’t tell many people that he has the ability to let his spirit travel outside his body. One night, despite his self-imposed rule to never invade anyone’s privacy, he follows an irresistible pull to Maggie’s bedside. He’s astounded to find her crying out his name in private pleasure. After months of giving her space, maybe it’s time to approach her. Maggie and Jed’s first touch is lightning hot—and their passion is a thunderclap of erotic pleasure. But when Jed reveals he’s a spiritwalker, Maggie’s reaction is like a curtain of cold rain descending between them. Leaving him wondering what she’s afraid of. Magic? Him? Or of following her heart? Warning: This book contains erotic dreams and fantasies, a candle magick spell, spiritwalking, lots of hot, sweaty sex, and a happily ever after that will make you sigh. Enjoy the following excerpt for Dreams of Seduction: Jed’s body heated as he drew closer. His balls ached and his cock throbbed. Beautiful, elusive Maggie O’Neill had attracted him from the first time he’d set eyes on her. Her waist-length hair was thick, its red color a beacon, drawing him.
Jed wanted to wrap his fist around that hair, anchoring her to him as he pounded into her sweet, soft body. Maggie had the kind of curves that made men sweat. Lush and lovely, he wanted to trace every arch, every hollow of her body, mapping each one until he knew it by heart. He wanted to run his tongue over her smooth skin. It looked like fresh cream, but would taste sweet and salty. Her breasts were large and Jed had the deepest desire to know what color her nipples would be. But Maggie was a wounded soul. He’d sensed it the moment they’d met. This was a woman who’d been hurt and needed time to recover. As much as his instincts urged him to get closer to her, to make her see him as a man, he’d refrained. He was patient and knew his time would come. He’d thought of her, night after night in his empty bed. Imagined having her naked, sprawled across his midnight blue sheets with nothing to cover her but his body. His cock jerked, a bead of pearly white liquid seeping from the tip. For whatever reason, he was being drawn to Maggie. Now that he knew where he was going, Jed surged forward, eager to be with her, even if it was only in spirit. He slipped through her closed window and stood in the shadows. Maggie was as he’d pictured her so many times. Naked. Well, almost naked. Her nightgown was pushed over her breasts, leaving her naked from the chest down. Her skin gleamed like a pearl in the light of the moon that seeped through her window. Her legs were sprawled wide and her mouth was open on a low moan of pleasure. Like a man in a daze, Jed stumbled forward until he was standing beside the bed. He swallowed hard, entranced by the sheer eroticism of the moment. It was an invasion of privacy, but he couldn’t make himself leave. She’d called him here, somehow reaching beyond the physical world. Her soul had called to his and he’d come. There was no way he was going anywhere. Not yet.
Her hands covered her breasts, large pink nipples peeking out from between her fingers. He’d fantasized about her breasts, but the reality was much more than anything he’d imagined. Plump and full, they drew him. Lowering himself to the mattress beside her, he placed his hands over hers. Her fingers jerked, almost as if she felt his touch, but she sighed and circled her palms over her breasts. The slide of silky skin beneath his palms almost made him come right then and there. Her hands drifted away and he took the opportunity to circle her nipples with his thumbs. The nubs puckered even tighter and Maggie arched her hips upward. A flash of an image popped in his head and he knew it had come from Maggie. At first he was stunned. Then satisfaction filled him, deep and abiding. She was thinking of him as she pleasured himself. Jed wanted to tip back his head and howl. He wanted to lower himself onto her body and slip his cock into her heated warmth. Then he wanted to fuck her until she screamed her release. He did none of those things. Instead, he watched as she let her fingers trail over the curved mound of her stomach and lower still. The reddish curls at the notch of her thighs were damp with cream. Jed let his hands follow Maggie’s, trailing them over her warm, willing flesh. He traced the delicate line of her ribcage and cupped her ample hips. His fingers skated inward until they hovered just above her mound.