Life Over Limb

After a patient tragically dies while under his care, mobile trauma nurse Tanner withdraws into himself. No longer working out in the field, he‟s stuck on the midnight shift at St. Anthony‟s Hospital and with each passing day, he sinks deeper into depression. Ricky loves his job as a radiology tech. While he enjoys working with patients, the highlight of his day used to be when Tanner would bring a patient into the hospital. Although the nurse‟s flirting was sometimes over the top, Ricky found himself growing attracted to the man. So when he learns that Tanner has taken a full-time job at the hospital, Ricky is excited…until he realizes that Tanner is a shell of the man he used to be. Ricky vows that no matter what he has to do, he will bring Tanner out of his depression. Will Ricky be able to make Tanner want to embrace life again? Or will Ricky lose the nurse to his own inner demons?

The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author‟s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Life Over Limb Copyright © 2011 Stephani Hecht ISBN: 978-1-55487-990-8 Cover art by Martine Jardin All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher. Published by eXtasy Books Look for us online at: www.eXtasybooks.com

Life Over Limb EMS Heat 11 By Stephani Hecht

Chapter One

R

icky picked up the plate of sad looking lettuce before he shook his head and put it back on the buffet line. Next, he debated over the soggy spaghetti, then the runny mashed potatoes before rejecting both for a hamburger that appeared to have been made two decades ago. It was moments like this when Ricky wished he‟d taken his mother‟s advice and gone into banking instead of becoming a radiology technician. At least then he might be having his lunch hour at a café or something instead of the cafeteria at St. Anthony‟s hospital. Then again, since he worked third shift and it was four in the morning, he had to take what he could get. Breathing deep, he took in the scents of industrial cleaner and greasy food. What a yummy combination, cue sarcasm. Were it not for the fact that he was diabetic and needed to eat regular meals, Ricky would have been tempted to ditch the place and skip his meal altogether. “Well, that‟s something I never want to see 1

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again,” a voice drawled from beside of him. Ricky jumped in surprise. The place was pretty deserted so he hadn‟t expected anybody to be talking to him. When he noted it was his friend, Ben, Ricky smiled. Ben was holding up a plate full of what might have once been lasagna. At the moment, it looked more like the Blob’s younger, uglier, red-encrusted cousin. Ricky turned and let out a sigh of relief. “I‟m so glad you‟re here. I was just trying to decide what would be less likely to cause me to hurl. Maybe you can be my food taster for me.” Ben and Ricky had been friends since they‟d been five years old. They now were roommates and worked at the same hospital, although Ben was employed as an RN in the ER as opposed to the radiology department. Though they were both gay, they‟d never been romantically involved. Sure, Ben was good looking enough. Since his mother was from Korea, Ben inherited her exotic features while taking on his father‟s easy going nature, which made for a great combination. Plus, Ben always made sure to dress and groom himself impeccably no matter how late it might be. So normally, Ben would be the kind of guy Ricky went for. It was just that Ricky and Ben were so close they felt like brothers and it didn‟t seem right to either of them to be into each other that way. They 2

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had an unspoken rule to never to cross that line and Ricky knew it would forever be that way. Which suited him just fine. Ben eyed the burger on Ricky‟s tray and shook his head. “I love you, but there is no way in hell that thing is touching my mouth.” Ricky pretended to inspect the food carefully. “I don‟t know…I‟ve seen you tongue much grosser things.” “Says the guy who hasn‟t been laid in six months.” “Ouch,” Ricky muttered. Like he could help it that he was going through a spell dryer than the Sahara Desert. It‟s not like he hadn‟t wanted any company. It‟s just that he only wanted one person in particular and said person had so far remained elusive. Shaking his head, Ricky shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind. He was already depressed enough as it was and there was no reason to add to it by thinking of Tanner. He had to wonder why for months Tanner had flirted with Ricky, only to drop out of sight a couple of months ago. Ricky had even dug up the courage to ask the mobile flight nurse‟s partner what happened. All he got for an answer was that Tanner was taking a leave of absence and they didn‟t know when he‟d be returning. Ben grabbed a tray and began to load junk food 3

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on it. Ricky eyed up a big, piece of chocolate cake. God, what he would give to be able to eat it—but that kind of food was permanently off his menu. The last time he‟d cheated and eaten something like that, his blood sugar had shot through the ceiling and he ended up as a patient at the very hospital he worked for. Ben reached over, snagged up an apple and orange and dumped them on Ricky‟s tray. Next, he chose a few hardboiled eggs and added those, too. It was on the tip of Ricky‟s tongue to say that he could pick out his own food, but he held it back. Ben always seemed to think it was his job to make sure his friend ate right. “You‟ll never guess what I found out today,” Ben announced as they picked up their trays and carried them over to the register. They both nodded hello to the cashier, an elderly man who had yet to utter one word to them other than to tell them how much money they owed. “Okay, I‟ll bite. What‟s your news?” Ricky asked as he dug out his wallet and paid. “Starting tomorrow, I‟m going to be training a new nurse they hired for the ER.” Ricky cocked a brow. “They trust you to be in charge of somebody? Wow.” “Shut up,” Ricky shot back good-naturedly as they picked up their trays. 4

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They chose a table in the center of the empty cafeteria and sat down before continuing their conversation. “You‟re never going to believe who the new hire is either,” Ben said. “Who?” “Tanner.” Ricky felt all the blood drain from his face as he strove to keep from gaping in shock. Since he didn‟t want to give Ben the satisfaction of knowing how unnerving that bombshell was, Ricky picked up his orange and began to peel it, giving the fruit the upmost attention. “Oh, as in Tanner from the helicopter?” he asked, keeping his voice neutral. “No. Tanner from that dippy soap opera you watch,” Ben snarked. “Oh, good. Then then he can finally tell me if he is the father of Victoria‟s baby. I‟ve been dying to know the answer to that mystery for three months now.” Ben pointed with his candy bar. “See? That‟s why you should watch something else. Take Toddlers and Tiaras for example, you always know who‟s won Grand Supreme by the end of the episode.” “If it weren‟t for the fact that I wanted to strangle all the mothers on that show, I‟d take you up on that offer.” 5

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“By the way, don‟t think I don‟t realize what you‟re doing.” Ricky briefly glanced up from his orange to shoot his best who-me look. “And what‟s that?” “You‟re trying to divert the topic away from Tanner, and by that, I mean your Tanner and not the actor.” A jumble of butterflies started doing the twostep in Ricky‟s stomach. “He‟s not my anything. We just talked a few times.” “Funny, I usually call what you guys did flirting.” “Nah, he was just being nice. There is no way in hell a guy that good-looking could be interested in me.” “Why not?” Really? Was Ben blind or something? Didn‟t he see how different Ricky was from Tanner? While Tanner was tall and muscular, Ricky barely topped five-eight and had the build of one of the Olsen twins. Then there was the fact that Tanner always kept his short, dark hair perfectly combed, whereas Ricky‟s brown locks usually looked like they lost a fight with a cat. Damn, even Tanner‟s eyes were a dream come true. They were such a warm brown that they made Ricky want to drool over them for hours. And what did Ricky have? Green eyes that he often covered with a pair of glasses since he was nearsighted. 6

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A bit of the juice from the orange seeped into a paper cut on Ricky‟s finger. It hurt like a son-of-abitch, but he continued with his task. It was a lot less painful than dealing with the emotions that always came along with Tanner. “So, do you know why he‟s been MIA for so long?” Ricky asked. “Nobody is talking. All I do know is that he‟s coming here, and now it‟s my responsibility to make sure he knows all the ins and outs of the ER.” Ricky blinked a few times. “They‟re actually trusting you with that?” “Why wouldn‟t they?” “Ah, let‟s see…there was that incident in the drug room.” “Hey, it was just one little prank involving a speculum and cervical scraper.” “Okay, then how about the time you scared the ladies from the lab department?” “I just sent one baby doll through the pneumatic shoot.” Ricky rolled his eyes. “The doll was missing its head and had the words Red Rum written on its chest.” “It‟s not my fault that they‟re not Stephen King fans. Anybody else would have appreciated the cleverness of that prank.” “How about that time you directed that Flint 7

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medic to the morgue instead of the EMS room?” “Hey, Matt is just the kind of guy who could appreciate that kind of joke. Plus, I owed him for taking all my money the last time we played poker.” Okay, maybe Ben had a point on that last one. Matt was a great guy, but he was the king of practical jokes, so it was kind of funny to see the medic get some of his own medicine for once. Ricky bit into an orange section, shuddering at the bitter taste. How in the hell was it that the hospital didn‟t have fresh fruit? One would think that would be the ideal place to get healthy food since they were all about…well, health. He made a silent vow never again to forget to pack his own lunch. He pushed the tray away, not willing to test anything else. Of course, Ben had to comment on that. “Did you take your insulin?” “Of course, I did.” “Then you need to eat.” With a glare, Ricky picked up the apple and took a bite. While it was mushy, at least it wasn‟t bitter. In fact, it had no taste at all, but if it got Ben off his back, then Ricky could live through it. Ben grabbed one of the eggs from Ricky‟s tray and began to peel away the shell. “When‟s the last time you checked your blood sugar?” “I‟m not one of your patients,” Ricky protested. 8

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When Ben gave him an arched brow look, Ricky sighed, “I tested it right before I came down here.” “What was it?” “It was just fine.” “Do you want me to drag your scrawny ass back to the ER and check it for myself?” Ricky could see Ben doing just that. While he was usually pretty laid back, when it came to taking care of others, Ben could be as stubborn as a bulldog. “It was fifty,” Ricky admitted. Just as he expected, Ben let out a muttered curse. “Damn it, you have to take better care of yourself.” “I know. I just got caught up in some family stuff today and missed dinner. I tried to stabilize everything by snacking on some crackers, but I guess it didn‟t help.” Ben held out the shelled egg and Ricky took it. Taking a bite, he was pleasantly surprised to find that it didn‟t taste too bad. He chewed as he waited for Ben to calm down. “What was so important that you forgot to eat?” Ben demanded. “Mom is out of town this week so I‟ve been doing carpool duty for my brothers and sisters.” “God, that can‟t be easy since there are seven of you.” Since Ben was an only child, it always seemed 9

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to overwhelm him whenever he had to deal with Ricky‟s family. That didn‟t stop Ben from coming over for meals whenever Ricky‟s mom invited him. They often liked to joke that Ben was the eighth sibling. “Yeah, it‟s been a bitch. Between Carla‟s dance lesson and Alex‟s band practice, I barely have time to get home and shower before coming in.” Ben leaned forward on his elbows and pinned Ricky with a stern glare. “Fine, I‟ll let it slide this one time, but if you let your sugar drop again, I‟m calling your mother.” Ricky paused mid-bite. “Did you just threaten to tell my mommy on me?” “Damn right I did and I‟m not ashamed. If you won‟t listen to me, I know you sure as hell will pay attention to her.” “That‟s blackmail, you know?” A slow grin spread over Ben‟s face. “Damn straight it is and I don‟t care.” Ricky tried hard to work up some real anger, but failed. He knew that Ben only nagged because he cared. Plus, he did have a point. Ricky needed to pay better attention to his medical condition. He wouldn‟t do his family any good if he slipped into a diabetic coma. “Okay, I‟ll be a good boy, but that means you have to take Malinda to her violin lesson tomorrow.” 10

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Ben pulled a face. “God, are you trying to torture me? My mom forced me to take violin lessons for years, even though I hated the damn thing. If I go with Malinda, it‟s likely to give me flashbacks.” Ricky bit the inside of his cheek to hold back his laugher. He really did love Ben‟s melodramatic side. “If you‟d rather not, then you could take Lenny to his baseball game.” That suggestion made Ben shudder. “No way! I‟m never going back there again. The last time we went to one of his games, that one mom kept hitting on us. She had to have been at least twenty years older than us and she had more cleavage than the entire Jersey Shore cast combined.” “She wasn‟t that bad.” “Are you kidding me? Did you forget how she kept speaking to me in a loud, slow voice? Dude, just because I‟m Asian doesn‟t mean I wasn‟t born in this country. I didn‟t know whether to be amazed or angry at her ignorance.” “Fine, I‟ll take Lenny to the game. You‟ll just have to risk the flashbacks and take Malinda.” “Sounds like a plan and then we‟ll all go out for dinner,” Ben added pointedly. “You need to look your best for Tanner tomorrow night.” A heat came over Ricky‟s face as he thought about the nurse and the mystery surrounding his disappearance. While Ricky couldn‟t help but be 11

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excited over the prospect of seeing Tanner again, a small bit of worry nagged him. Where had Tanner been and why was he changing jobs? Somehow, Ricky had the feeling that the answers to those questions wouldn‟t be good.

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Chapter Two

“D

amn, it,” Tanner cursed as he dropped the folder containing all his paperwork. Given how his day was going, of course the thing had to fly open and scatter his documents all over the ER bay. He bit back another curse as he stooped down to pick them up. As it was, he was already running late, but he didn‟t dare leave without them. They included his tax and licensing information. “Here, let me help you with that,” a familiar voice called. Tanner froze, heart hammering with anticipation as Ricky rushed over and knelt down next to him. The younger man wore a heavy coat over his usual, maroon scrubs and he looked just as damn cute as Tanner remembered. Several locks of Ricky‟s hair stood on end, almost as if they were begging Tanner to reach out and smooth them down. Even Ricky‟s glasses made him all the more appealing, the frames 13

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adding the whole sexy-but-smart appeal to the guy. Ricky scooped up the remaining papers, then grinned as he held them out to Tanner. “I think this is all of them.” Tanner found himself unable to look away from that endearing smile. He swallowed hard before taking the documents from Ricky. “Thanks, I would have been lost without these.” “I figured as much. Plus, you don‟t want your personal information flying around for all of Pontiac to see.” They both straightened and faced each other. Tanner knew he should get the hell away before he said or did something stupid, but he couldn‟t seem to think of a way to make a graceful exit. “It‟s nice seeing you around here again,” Ricky said. Tanner‟s mouth grew dry as he struggled to come up with a good answer for that one. How exactly did one explain that he had to take some time away because he nearly had a nervous breakdown? “Yeah, I had some personal things to attend to,” he replied, deliberately being vague. Thankfully, that seemed to appease Ricky as he nodded. “Well, at any rate, I‟m glad that you‟re working here now.” Ricky flushed and then added, “What I mean is, it‟s great to see a nice guy 14

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like you employed again. Because the job market is so bad and…well, you know…nobody should be without a source of income.” Biting his bottom lip, Ricky looked briefly away before saying, “Anyway, I‟m going to go inside before I say something else dorky.” Even though he knew he should just let Ricky walk away, Tanner found himself reaching out to grab the man‟s hand to stay him. “You‟re not dorky.” The blush on Ricky‟s face grew a few shades darker. “Yeah, I am. That‟s okay. You don‟t need to lie to save my feelings.” “So, how have things been with you?” Tanner asked. Inside his head a voice shrilled, Why in the hell are you engaging him in conversation? That will only lead to a load of questions you have no desire to deal with. Ricky shrugged. “Just work and nothing much else. Ben tells me I really need to get a social life.” The name, Ben, sounded familiar and Tanner scrambled to think of where he‟d heard it before. He finally remembered that Ben was Ricky‟s friend. A jolt of unwanted jealousy nagged Tanner as he wondered just how close Ben and Ricky were. While Ricky had confessed to being single at one time, that was months ago. Things could have 15

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changed. “So, does Ben tell you what to do all the time?” One corner of Ricky‟s lips kicked up into a half smile. “Well, since we‟re roommates, he does tend to get bossy with me sometimes.” Disappointment and the bitter sting of regret hit Tanner, making his gut ache. “Oh, so you‟re really tight then?” “Yeah, we have been for a while now.” It dawned on Tanner that he was still holding onto Ricky‟s hand. In fact, Tanner felt pretty certain that he‟d been fanning the pad of his thumb over the guy‟s palm. Great, nothing like a little public humiliation and low-grade groping to start off his new job. He cleared his throat and jerked his hand away. “I should probably get inside. I don‟t want to be late on my first day,” Tanner said, wishing to hell the conversation had never taken place. Next time his inner monologue yelled at him to Run! Run! Run! he‟d sure as hell better listen to it. Ricky chuckled. “Yeah, Ben is going to be the one to train you, and you don‟t want to get off to a bad start by making him wait.” Great! The fucking day just kept getting better and better. The only thing missing was a storm cloud that hovered only over Tanner‟s head and followed him around everywhere. “Can‟t keep Ben waiting,” Tanner replied. 16

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Even to his own ears, his voice sounded tight and overly cheerful. With that last bit of humiliation, he decided to leave while he still had at least a shred of dignity left. Nodding goodbye, he rushed through the ER‟s double glass automatic doors. The thing with him and bad days, though, once they got going they just kept rolling. So, when it was Trauma Bay One that caught his immediate attention, he really wasn‟t too surprised. He paused in front of the room that held too many bad memories, his heart pounding so hard it was a wonder the entire ER department didn‟t hear it. He even started to breath a bit fast, not quite hyperventilating, but not too far away from it either. Even though the white, tiled floor was presently so clean that it reflected the lights, he still saw the puddles of blood that once marred the surface. Shit, he could smell it, even though he knew that was impossible, since the blood in question had been spilled months ago. God, why in the hell did he ever think that he‟d be able to work here? Oh yeah… because he was dead broke and needed the income. While the hospital may hold a whole nightmare worth of bad feelings, at least he‟d have a staff backing him up in case he fucked up again. Before, when he worked on the copter, it‟d just been him and his 17

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partner, Chauncey. And on that day, Tanner hadn‟t even had Chauncey, since the nurse had the day off. Instead, Tanner had been stuck with some rookie who hadn‟t even known the difference between a nasal cannula or nonrebreather mask. “There you are! I was beginning to think you were going to be a no show,” Ben exclaimed as he came walking down the corridor. Tanner eyed up the slightly smaller man and tried to imagine how Ben and Ricky looked together. In the end, Tanner couldn‟t help but think that Ricky would by far be the cuter of that pairing. While some might say that Ricky came off as a bit mousey, to Tanner, that couldn‟t be further from the truth. Sure, Ricky might sometimes have messy hair, and he did wear glasses, plus he sometimes stumbled around when having a conversation. To Tanner though, all those traits made Ricky so endearing and well…adorable. Speaking of which, Tanner just bet that Ricky and Ben made a cute, frigging couple. However, Tanner wasn‟t jealous, honest he wasn‟t. Liar! You’re almost sick from the thought of somebody else touching Ricky. In fact, if you were the caveman type, you’d probably run to radiology, throw Ricky over your shoulder and then grunt, mine! Telling that damn voice to shut up, Tanner held up his slightly rumpled paperwork. “Sorry, I dropped this outside and had to clean it up.” 18

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Ben smiled. “It‟s okay, I was just giving you a hard time. Why don‟t you follow me and I‟ll show you around? I know you‟ve been here a million times, but you‟ve never been in backrooms and stuff.” Tanner ran a nervous hand down the side of dark, blue scrub pants, then nodded. “Sure, that sounds good. Is there somewhere special I should turn in the paperwork?” “We can swing by the nurse supervisor‟s office and hand them off to her. She should have your name badge, too.” Ben then led him around, giving a pretty detailed tour of the ER. Along the way, Ben also deemed it necessary to share some of the latest gossip about the staff. So, by the time they were finished, Tanner knew that Becky from the lab was going through a drama-filled divorce, Doc. Shelton‟s wife had just left him for a bass player and the red-headed medic from Alpha 638 was a bitch who couldn‟t follow protocol, even if you put a leash on her and led the way. Once they were finished, Ben led him to one of the side nurses‟ stations. Leaning a hip against the counter, Ben asked, “So, do you have any questions?” “Not right now. I‟m sure I‟ll have a million once we get started.” “It‟s all pretty routine. Well, I guess as routine 19

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as an ER can get. That‟s one thing I love about this department, you never know when you‟re going to get some excitement.” “How long have you worked here?” “Only a couple of years.” Ben studied him carefully before asking, “So, why did you decide to come here? I thought you liked working out in the field.” Tanner‟s gut clenched. Damn, it hadn‟t taken long for that question to come up. Feigning indifference, he shrugged, “I just wanted a change is all.” The look Ben gave him said the nurse didn‟t buy that excuse, but thankfully he didn‟t press the matter. “Well, I can tell you that Ricky was pretty excited when he heard you were employed here.” “You should know, you are his roommate after all.” Wow, Tanner hadn‟t meant for that to come out sounding bitter, but damned if it hadn‟t. Ben‟s mouth parted in shock and he blinked a few times before he let out a soft chuckle. “This is just too precious.” “What is?” Tanner snapped, even though he knew he should just end the conversation before it got even more out of hand. “You‟re jealous.” “Am not.” “Yes, and it‟s because you still have a hard-on 20

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for him.” Tanner shot off a scathing glare. “Do we really need to have this kind of discussion? We‟re grown men, not a couple of teen girls chatting on Skype.” Ben ignored the jab. Letting out a full-blown laugh, he said, “I can‟t believe it. And here I didn‟t think the whole classic big misunderstanding happened in real life. I thought it only occurred in romance novels and old Three’s Company reruns.” “I‟m so glad I can amuse you,” Tanner replied tightly, still having no clue what was so funny. After a few more moments of that annoying laughter, Ben waved a hand. “I‟m sorry. I shouldn‟t make fun of you. At least not on your first day. I just couldn‟t help myself when I realized that you thought Ricky and I are a couple.” “You‟re not?” Ben rolled his eyes. “No, we‟ve been best friends since forever, but we‟ve never been with each other like that.” “Really?” Tanner asked, feeling like ten different shades of idiot. “Yes, really.” “Oh.” “So, if you want to…talk to him, I would have no problem with that.” God, how Tanner wanted to do that. So much so, he could almost taste it. During the brief 21

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interaction he‟d already had with Ricky on the way in, Tanner had felt more alive than he had in months. Then, Tanner‟s gaze flicked over to that damn trauma room and the familiar pains of regret slammed into him. “I don‟t think that‟s a good idea,” he mumbled. Ben shook his head. “I don‟t get you. It used to be that whenever you came to this hospital the first thing you did was seek Ricky out. Now you‟ve turned almost anti-social.” Then Ben‟s gaze slid over to the trauma room and understanding dawned in his eye. “Oh, shit. You‟re still upset about that girl dying.” “Just leave it,” Tanner growled. Of course, Ben didn‟t. “That‟s why you‟ve been MIA, too, isn‟t it? You blame yourself.” Frustrated, hurt, and now angry, Tanner finally lost control. “Why shouldn‟t I blame myself? She died under my watch.” “But, that could have happened to any of us. It wasn‟t your fault.” “Oh yeah! How do you know that for sure? All I can think about is how I didn‟t catch that she had that internal bleed. If I had…” he trailed off, unwilling to go down the all-too-familiar path of what-ifs. There would be plenty of time to do that after his next nightmare. “She was just nineteen,” Tanner said, his chest tight with emotion. 22

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“True, but if I recall right, she was also a victim of a multi-car pileup, and she hadn‟t been wearing her seatbelt. She had so many injuries that there was probably nothing you could have done to save her.” “Probably,” Tanner echoed pointedly. “See, even you can‟t tell me for certain that I didn‟t fuck it up. I know for a fact that most other nurses wouldn‟t have. Chauncey would have immediately caught it.” “Bullshit. We all miss things. We‟re only human, after all. We just have to hope that it doesn‟t happen again and that it makes us better nurses in the end.” “That‟s easy for you to say. You don‟t have a dead teenager on your conscience,” Tanner retorted, that bitter tone creeping back into his voice. “You can‟t keep thinking that way. It‟ll end up destroying both your career and life,” Ben said, sadly. Tanner knew Ben had a point. Hell, he‟d said the very same thing to himself countless times. The only problem was that Tanner didn‟t know if he had what it took to forgive himself. If anything, being back at the hospital only made him doubt himself more than ever.

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Chapter Three

A

fter working under Ben‟s supervision for three nights, Tanner couldn‟t decide if he liked the guy or wanted to have the idiot admitted to the seventh floor for a psych evaluation. Ben was a great nurse. Not only was he knowledgeable and efficient, but the patients all loved him. Nevertheless, it was the other part of Ben‟s personality that troubled Tanner. Flat out, the guy had a dozen screws loose and was two dozen cards short of a full deck. If the guy wasn‟t playing pranks such as the time he put apple butter into the breakroom coffee pot, then he was jawing off some outlandish story. At least Tanner thought they were outlandish. He really didn‟t think that Ben could have done half the crap he claimed he did during his off work hours. Tanner was just finishing the charting for the end of their shift when Ben came up. He was holding a big mug of coffee and looked a little less 24

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rambunctious than usual. In his other hand, he held a glucometer. “I need you to do a favor for me,” Ben said. “I don‟t know about that. The last time I agreed to do a favor for you, I found myself stuck giving Mr. Elders an enema. Since he‟s a runner and a kicker, that was something I never want to experience again.” “Oh, come on! It wasn‟t that bad.” “Did I mention that he‟s a biter, too? I still have the bruise on my arm in the shape of his dentures.” Ben rolled his eyes. “You‟re such a lightweight. I have full-out scars from that man‟s choppers. You can relax though, because that‟s not what I was going to ask you to do.” Tanner still didn‟t trust the little shit, but since Ben was technically his trainer, Tanner didn‟t exactly have a choice in the matter. “Fine, what do you need?” Ben handed him the glucometer. “Can you go to radiology and check Ricky‟s blood sugar? I would go do it myself, but I have to give a report to the next shift.” Taking it, Tanner glanced down dumbly at the device as if he‟d never seen it before, which was stupid since he used the damn thing several times each shift. It was just that he‟d always used it on patients, but never had he imagined having to use 25

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it for Ricky. “I didn‟t know he was diabetic,” Tanner finally said, his chest aching a bit. “Yeah, he has been for a while now.” “Are you worried about him or something? I mean, if he‟s been diabetic for that long, he should know how to test his own sugar levels.” Ben took a deep drink of coffee before sighing. “Ricky is great at taking care of others, but he‟s shitty at making sure his own needs are attended to.” Tanner didn‟t need to hear any more. He left the nurse‟s station and rushed to radiology. He found Ricky alone in the large room that served the ER department. Tanner paused for a moment, his breath catching in his throat as he drank in the image of the other man. Ricky wore his usual maroon scrubs since that was the color scheme St. Anthony‟s assigned his department. But Ricky added a dark blue hoodie, giving the look as his own twist. He sat at a small table, hunched over some files. The low light almost made his skin seem to glow, and as always, his hair was just slightly messed up. Tanner must have made a noise because Ricky sat up with a start, one hand going to his chest. “Shit, you scared me,” Ricky exclaimed. “Sorry.” Tanner held up the glucometer. “Ben sent me.” 26

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Ricky eyed the device as if it was a poisonous spider. “You can tell Ben not to worry. I‟m fine.” Tanner tilted his head to the side. “Why don‟t you just let me test you? It‟ll placate Ben and I did come all the way here after all.” “I don‟t need it.” Not wanting to get into an argument, Tanner shamelessly pulled out the guilt card. “Give a guy a break, will ya? Ben is my trainer and I would hate for him to get pissed at me.” Ricky‟s droll stare said that he didn‟t buy the reasoning at all. “Nice try, but we both know that Ben doesn‟t have it in him to report you for something like that. While he may be a jackass when it comes to pranks and stuff, he‟s still a big softie inside.” “Okay, then how about you do it because he‟s your friend and he‟s worried about you?” “Ben is always worried about me,” Ricky groused. He did toss down his pen and swivel his chair around though. Holding out a hand, palm up, he said, “Fine, let‟s just get this over with.” Not wasting the chance once he got it, Tanner rushed over and took a chair next to the desk. Opening up the case, he took out the supplies and got the machine ready. Once that was set, he snapped on a pair of gloves and grabbed Ricky‟s hand. 27

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Even through the thin layer of latex, the heat from Ricky‟s body instantly made Tanner aroused. It didn‟t help the situation that he was now close enough to smell the man either. Before he even realized it, Tanner leaned in closer, breathing in deep. Over the layers of hospital smells, Tanner detected the sharp bite of citrus. He wondered if it was the cologne Ricky used, or maybe his brand of shampoo. “Is everything okay?” Ricky asked. It was only then that Tanner realized he was hovering too close, like some kind of pervert or something. Clearing his throat, he hastily pulled back and tore open the alcohol wipe packet. “Do you have any preference where you want me to stick it?” Tanner held up the lancet. Ricky cocked a brow, one corner of his mouth lifting into a smile and Tanner realized just how loaded that comment was. “I don‟t know if I should tell you that,” Ricky sing-songed. “The last guy I gave that information to had to buy me dinner and a movie. Sure, it was just the dollar menu at McDonalds and he used a Groupon at the show, but hey, it counts. Although, I knew really should have held out for more once I realized he was taking me to see a Claude Van Damme flick. I didn‟t even know that he made movies that didn‟t go straight to video anymore.” Tanner had to bite back a laugh. Damn, how 28

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he‟d missed Ricky‟s little babble fests. If he had to use one word for the man, it would be adorkable. Not that he thought Ricky was a true dork or anything, it was just his little tendencies to stammer or yammer on about mundane things was so endearing. Ricky just kept on yapping so Tanner decided to get the show on the road. He rubbed the wipe over Ricky‟s middle finger and quickly poked it with the lancet. That stopped Ricky in midsentence. He jumped in surprise, but didn‟t let out a cry of pain. Probably because he‟d become long ago accustomed to being pricked. And no way in hell Tanner was going to say that last word out loud. The last thing he needed was to hear Ricky‟s gutter talk over the term prick. Tanner quickly collected the blood on the test strip and handed Ricky a gauze pad while they waited for the reading. Tanner already knew it wouldn‟t be good when Ricky began to twist his fingers. “I was just going to get some breakfast so it may mess up the reading,” Ricky said, his voice pitched with worry. When a bright, red fifty-five flashed across the screen, Tanner bit back a curse. Ricky leaned over and once he saw it, more excuses began to fly, “It‟s no big deal. Amy called in sick today so I had to 29

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work extra hard and couldn‟t get away to eat like I should. Plus, I forgot to take my insulin a few times over the past couple of days so that‟s making everything wonky.” “You‟ve skipped doses?” Worry and anger clashed together and made that question come out way louder than Tanner intended. Ricky flinched. “It‟s not like I did it on purpose. I just got busy and it slipped my mind.” Tanner didn‟t know whether to shake Ricky for his recklessness or to put the guy in a bubble to protect him from his own naivety. Taking in a deep breath to calm himself, Tanner slowly let it out before saying, “Okay, let‟s go.” That suggestion earned him nothing more than a surprised look. “Go where?” Ricky asked, still making no effort to stand. “To the ER. We need to get those levels stabilized.” Ricky shook his head and shrank back in his chair. “No.” “No?” “Do you always repeat things people say to you, or is just me?” “I find that it‟s only you, but that‟s because I usually have trouble following any conversation that you‟re involved in. Now, get up and get your butt to the ER.” 30

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“I can‟t” “Why?” “Because I have to get home. My family needs me. Look, it‟s really sweet that you‟re worried and all, but I‟m used to this. I have some fruit and juice in my backpack. I‟ll nosh them down and by the time I get home, I‟ll be as good as new.” “Are you planning on driving home?” Tanner asked incredulously. “Of course I am. My family—” “Needs you. I know.” Tanner let out a sigh. “Can‟t you get Ben to drive you?” “No! He has a mandatory meeting this morning so he‟s staying over a few hours.” Well, that just sucked. Damn, what to do? There was no way in hell Tanner was about to let Ricky drive himself. He realized the he‟d just have to intervene and offer up his help. “I‟ll drive you.” Ricky‟s eyes widened in shock before he gave a slight shake of his head. “I can‟t let you do that. Plus, I need my van so I can fit all the kids.” “All the kids?” “You‟re repeating again.” “Sorry, I just didn‟t know you had any children.” Ricky laughed, some of the tension leaving his face. “They‟re my brothers and sisters.” “How many are there?” 31

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“Counting me, seven.” Tanner almost echoed the number, but held back, not wanting Ricky to accuse him of chronic repeating again. “That‟s a lot.” “Yeah, and since my mom is out of town on a business trip for the week, they‟re my responsibility. So, I need to get home and get them to school.” “Okay, we‟ll take your van, but I‟m still driving.” Ricky hesitated. “Are you sure? I know it‟s a lot to ask. You probably just want to go home and fall into bed.” Only if you’re under me. Tanner held in a moan as an image of a naked and sweaty Ricky popped into his head. With the way Ricky liked to talk, Tanner just knew the guy would be a firecracker in between the sheets. He abruptly pushed those erotic thoughts away because scrub bottoms did a piss-poor job of hiding an erection. Tanner gathered up the glucometer supplies and stuffed them back into the case. Taking off his gloves, he tossed them into the trash. The women for the next shift wandered in and paused at the door as they studied Tanner with unabashed curiosity. A blush came over Ricky‟s face as he nervously cleared his throat, “I have to give Erica and Mandy a report, but I can be ready 32

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to leave in about five minutes.” “Sounds good, I need to let Ben know that I‟m leaving and grab my stuff. I‟ll be back in a few.” “Are you going to tell Ben how low my blood sugar is?” Ricky asked, his brow creased with worry. “Yes, but I‟m also going to tell him that you‟re going to have your own personal RN for the morning.” Even though it really wasn‟t the time or place for PDA, Tanner couldn‟t resist running one finger down the side of Ricky‟s face. He made sure to keep it brief, but the way Ricky gasped let Tanner know the gesture didn‟t go unappreciated. Turning, he walked out. As he passed the women, one of them murmured, “You better treat him right or else you‟ll be dealing with me.” Tanner didn‟t fire back a comment because he could see how they‟d be so protective of Ricky. The guy had a vulnerability to him that just screamed out to Tanner. So why shouldn‟t others feel it, too? He went back to the ER and found Ben still standing behind the nurse‟s station. Setting the glucometer on the shelf, Tanner said, “It was too damn low. That kid needs to take better care of himself.” Ben frowned. “Or maybe he just needs to find somebody to take over the job of Ricky keeper.” 33

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“You‟re his best friend. Why don‟t you apply for the job?” “Because he never listens to me. No, what he needs is some big, strong guy who can spank him into submission.” Tanner sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you ever stop?” “Nope, so you may as well get used to it.” Funny thing was, Tanner was getting accustomed to Ben and his antics. More so, Tanner was actually beginning to like the guy and could see them hanging out besides during work hours. “I‟m going to drive Ricky home and help him get his boatload of siblings off to school,” Tanner revealed. Ben let out a low whistle. “Ouch, I feel for you, buddy.” “Are they that bad?” “No, they‟re just a bit…” Ben tilted his head to the side as he seemed to be searching for the right word, “Much at times.” “I‟m sure they‟re not that bad.” For some reason that comment made Ben laugh like a loon. Clapping a hand on Tanner‟s shoulder, Ben advised, “You may want to grab yourself a great big coffee. Hell, add a couple energy drinks to it because you‟re going to need the caffeine.” Tanner swallowed hard as he wondered just what he‟d gotten himself into. 34

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Chapter Four

R

icky nervously twisted his fingers as Tanner pulled into the driveway of the house. While on the outside it looked like a basic, non-descript Cape Cod home, Ricky knew very well how deceiving that appearance truly was. Inside, there was sure to be mass-destruction and chaos on a FEMA worthy level. Tanner turned off the engine and Ricky took off his seatbelt, but made no move to get out. “Are you sure about this?” A frown passed over Tanner‟s sexy-as-sin face. “Why wouldn‟t I be?” “It‟s just that my family can be a bit much at times.” As if on cue, a loud shriek sounded from inside the house. Since they were still in the car, it was too muffled to tell if it was male or female, but Ricky would bet his last penny that it was Carla. Ever since she‟d turned fifteen, she‟d taken on a melodramatic streak so bad that it threatened to 35

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drive Ricky to drink. “Shit,” Ricky muttered as he hurried to get out. If he didn‟t get in there soon, she‟d only get worse and then the rest of the kids would start shouting. After that, it was impossible to get them calmed down. He opened the door and rushed inside, Tanner hot on his heels. Entering the kitchen, Ricky came to a skidding stop, his mouth parting in shock at the scene in front of him. Oh, they were all so going to get it once they were alone. Jess held the younger twins, Lenny and Angie, by the scruff of their shirts, both of them so high in the air, the toes of their socks barely touched the tiled floor. Carla was trying to get Alex down from the table. Not that Ricky saw fault in her logic, given the ten-year old boy was only wearing his Spongebob boxers. He kept dodging her grasp, pausing long enough to flex his non-existent biceps. Malinda was scrambling around, trying to clean up a huge puddle of what looked to be milk mixed with orange juice. “What in the hell is happening?” Ricky demanded. The room instantly fell quiet as all gazes locked on him. The silence only lasted a few beats before the excuses started a‟coming. “I was just trying to tell them to get dressed,” Jess defended. At fifteen, he was already taller than Ricky, but 36

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the kid was always the best at obeying the rules when Ricky was left in charge. The problem was sometimes he was too zealous in his efforts to make sure everybody else toed the line, too. Jess‟ twin, Carla waved her hands at Alex who was still playing muscleman. “Look at him, he‟s a barbarian.” “Shut up, Carla. You‟re not the boss of me,” the ten-year old Alex retorted. “She is when Ricky or Mom aren‟t here,” Malinda cut in. She rolled her eyes at Ricky, “Do you see what I have to live with. Why can‟t Mom send me to boarding school like the kids from the Harry Potter books?” “Because you‟re not a wizard,” Ricky drawled, a headache already forming. “I think I am,” Lenny called, still in Jess‟s grasp. “I‟m pretty sure I made my lizard move a couple of inches the other day only by using my mind.” “Good for you,” Ricky replied, after all, kids did need positive encouragement. Carla tilted her head to the side, her long dark hair brushing against her shoulder. “Who‟s your friend?” “It‟s Tanner.” Carla‟s eyes widened and Ricky prayed that she wouldn‟t mention all the times Ricky had talked about the hot, flight medic. “So, how do you know him? I‟ve never heard you mention him before.” 37

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Ricky could have kissed her at the moment. He gave her a tiny nod of thanks, which she acknowledged with the barest of smiles. “We know each other from work,” Tanner replied, his gaze still wide from all the chaos they‟d walked into. “Hmmm…I guess you‟ll do. You‟re not as cute as Chauncey or Brody, but you‟re not a troll either,” Carla replied. Tanner blinked a few times and Ricky almost wanted to apologize for his sister‟s bluntness. Then again, for Carla that was actually a compliment, so maybe he shouldn‟t complain too much. Ben faced much worse and he was considered family. “Yeah, she‟s fifteen,” Ricky explained. Luckily, Tanner just smiled, showing he didn‟t take offense. “I remember how my own sister was at that age.” “How old is she now?” Carla asked. “She turned twenty last year. She just got married a year ago.” “That‟s awfully young.” “Carla, zip it,” Ricky snapped between clenched teeth. Of course, the brat ignored him and kept on interrogating Tanner. “Was the wedding nice?” “I wouldn‟t know. I wasn‟t invited,” Tanner replied tightly. 38

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Carla‟s face softened, mirroring the emotions swelling through Ricky. “Is it because your family is a bunch of bigots like my dad?” Okay, that was just about enough of that type of conversation. Ricky clapped his hands to get everyone‟s attention. “Get moving or you‟re going to be late. Carla, take Alex and get some clothes on him.” “But I wanna go to school like this,” Alex pouted. “Not happening. Now get moving and put something on, and not shorts or a t-shirt. It‟s going to be cold and rainy today. Jess, take Lenny and Angie, and find something for them to wear. Make sure they brush their teeth and by that, I mean actually watch them do it, or else they‟ll just wet down the toothbrushes and fake it.” Angie stomped her foot. “I hate the taste of toothpaste.” “I went out last night before work and bought that iCarly brand that you really like.” Fishing into his backpack, Ricky found the tube and handed it to her. She grabbed it with a squeal and ran off, her twin and Jess in tow. After the rest of the kids filed out, Ricky started to clean up the mess so he could make them a decent breakfast. “Why don‟t you rest and let me do that?” Tanner offered. 39

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Ricky knelt down and swiped up a bit of the juice-milk combo that had been missed. He straightened and tossed the paper towels into the trash. “You don‟t need to bother. I ate on the drive home, remember? I‟m feeling much better.” In truth, Ricky still felt a bit shaky and tired, but he‟d die before he admitted it. He already looked dorky enough as it was without adding more to it. A bit of a jam ended up on his scrub top and he took it off, regretting it immediately when he realized he‟d worn a Doctor Who shirt underneath. It even had a picture of one of The Daleks on it with the words Exterminate! He glanced down at it, heat covering his cheeks. “Can you not tell Ben about this? He loves to ride me for loving this show.” “Why? I happened to love The Doctor.” Tanner started to help clear the remaining mess on the table. Relief flooded Ricky and he found himself falling just a little bit harder for the nurse. “Ben worries that I don‟t get out enough,” Ricky confessed. “Trust me, the club and bar scene are really overrated.” Tanner moved closer and ran a finger down Ricky‟s chest. “Personally, I‟d rather stay in and watch TV.” “Really? Because if you want, we could come back after we drop off the kids…what I mean is if 40

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you‟re not busy or….hell, you may not even be interested, and if you‟re not, that‟s okay. It would suck, but I won‟t get upset… Not that I really don‟t want—” Tanner cut him off with a soft but intense kiss that demanded Ricky give it his full attention. Something he gladly did and then some. Letting out a short gasp, he brought his hands up and grabbed Tanner‟s shoulders, wanting to get even closer to the man. Ricky parted his lips, allowing Tanner to slide his tongue in his mouth. Desire punched through Ricky at the warm, spicy taste of Tanner. Each stroke of the man‟s tongue seemed to go directly to Ricky‟s cock, making him so hard and needy that he let out a couple of whimpers. Tanner broke the kiss, but didn‟t step back. Gazing down, he gently ran the pad of his thumb over Ricky‟s bottom lip. Feeling a bit bold, Ricky darted his tongue out so he could lick the man‟s skin. “You taste so good,” Ricky whispered. “Not nearly as good as you do,” Tanner whispered back, before going in for another kiss. This second one was just as sweet as the first, making Ricky weak in the knees and lightheaded for other reasons besides low blood sugar. This time he thrust his own tongue out, tangling it with Tanner‟s. Meanwhile, Ricky‟s cock was so hard, he 41

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was almost crazy with need. The urge to rock forward so he could ride Tanner‟s thigh was strong, but Ricky resisted. Any one of his sibs could come in and while Ricky didn‟t mind them seeing him kissing, he wasn‟t about to subject them to X-rated displays. “I would love to spend the day with you,” Tanner said. “I‟ll even let you pick out what shows we watch.” “Are you sure? We‟d have to come back here. While I have my own place, I usually stay over when Mom is out of town. That way the kids will have somebody home if needed.” “I don‟t mind at all. The only thing you have to do is let me help you make breakfast. Don‟t think I haven‟t noticed you‟re still shaky.” Ricky grinned. “Maybe it‟s because you‟re such a good kisser.” Tanner laughed as he nuzzled their noses together. And how sweet was that? Ricky felt his insides melting into a pile of goo at the tender gesture. Along with that came the realization that he was already head-over-heels for Tanner. If Ricky wanted to be truthful, he‟d had it bad for the nurse for months. “As good as that suggestion is to my ego, we both know better,” Tanner said. He guided Ricky to a chair and forced him to sit before going to the refrigerator and opening it. 42

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Peering in, he frowned. “Ah…Ricky?” “Yeah?” “Why are there pinecones in here?” “That would be Malinda. She‟s always trying to keep things she finds outside.” “What? She doesn‟t have a treasure box like other kids do?” “Yeah, but she wanted to make sure the pinecones stayed fresh.” Tanner gave a slight nod. “Strangely enough, that kind of makes sense.” He pulled out some eggs, butter, and shredded cheese and dumped them on the counter. “Where do you keep your pans?” “Since it was Jess‟s turn to clean up after dinner last night, they‟re probably still in the dishwasher.” While Ricky loved his brother, the kid had perfected half-assing to an art form. Sure enough, Tanner found the pans right where Ricky predicted. He pulled them out and began to make up omelets and toast. Gradually the kids began to filter back in. The younger ones took a seat while Carla and Jess went over and helped Tanner. “Hey, Ricky, what time are you supposed to take your next insulin shot?” Tanner asked, not turning away from the stove. “Not for a couple of hours yet,” Ricky 43

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mumbled, more embarrassed by his weakness than ever. “You need to check your blood sugar again,” Tanner pressed. “I will in a second.” Pressing her lips together, a determined line, Carla marched over to Ricky‟s backpack and dug out his glucometer. Going over to the table, she took the chair opposite and held her palm up, waggling her fingers. “Come on, let‟s get this over with.” Ricky let out an aggravated sigh, but gave in, stretching his arm over the table. Carla moved almost as efficiently as Tanner had earlier and soon the readout was displayed. She let out hiss of anger. “What in the hell?” “Watch your mouth,” Ricky automatically admonished. She made a slicing motion in the air. “Don‟t you dare tell me what to do. Not when you can‟t even take care of yourself.” “You‟re making a big deal out of nothing. I just need to get some more food in me and then I‟ll be as good as new.” “That‟s exactly what you said right before you ended up in the hospital,” she shot back, her voice breaking a bit in the end. Ricky felt like the biggest jerk in the world for upsetting her so much. Then Angie ran over and 44

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wrapped her tiny arms around Ricky‟s waist and an even heavier dose of guilt hit him. Carla shook her head. “That decides it. I‟ll just stay home from school today and watch over you.” “I can‟t let you do that. You and Jess are already going in late today as it is since you had to stay home and watch the kids until I got off work.” She slammed her hand on the table. “Too bad, somebody has to take care of you.” “I‟ll do it,” Tanner spoke up. Every gaze in the room turned in his direction. Shrugging, a slight blush came over his cheeks. “I already promised Ricky that we‟d veg out in front of the TV today. Nothing says I can‟t monitor his sugar levels at the same time.” “Do you promise to stay with him all day? At least until I get home from school?” she persisted. “I really don‟t need a babysitter,” Ricky protested. “Yes, you do,” Carla and Tanner said at the same time. Jess came over and clapped Ricky on the shoulders. “Just give it up. You‟re outnumbered on this one and I don‟t mean just two to one, all six of us are in agreement.” A triumphant smirk came over Carla‟s face as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Just give it up already and let us take care of you this time. 45

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The martyr thing was really cute at first, but it‟s been getting old lately.” Ouch, it really hurt to be on the wrong end of her candor. “Fine, I‟ll let Tanner be my own personal nurse for the day. Are you happy?” “Immensely,” she replied with an exaggerated grin. Jess leaned down and whispered, “Just think of it. Having Nurse Tanner around could prove to be all kinds of fun. Am I right? Huh?” When Ricky realized that his idiot brother had said that loud enough for the whole room to hear, he let out a groan. To hell with diabetes, because it was going to wind up being his family that was the death of him.

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Chapter Five

T

anner never fully appreciated the average soccer mom until he found himself behind the wheel of a van full of screaming kids. Though he‟d been certain that there had only been six when they left, they must have magically multiplied somehow along the trip because there was no way in hell only a half dozen kids could make that much damn noise. Ricky shot him an apologetic look from the passenger seat. “They can be a bit much at times.” At times? From what Tanner had seen, this was pretty much standard operation procedure for their family. Thankfully, the elementary school came into view, making Tanner want to weep with relief. Ricky pointed to an empty slot. “Park over there and I‟ll walk them inside” “Don‟t they know their own way?” “Sure, but Alex has a tendency to wander if I don‟t make sure he gets to his classroom. Last time 47

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he flew solo, he ended up wrapping himself up in construction paper from the art department.” Alex shot off a gaped-toothed smile, showing off how proud he was of that fact. Tanner shook his head in awe, but did pull into the spot and put the car into park. “Give me a second and I‟ll be right back.” Ricky undid his seatbelt and opened the door. “Are you sure you‟re up to walking them in there?” Tanner asked. Ricky gifted him with a smile so sexy, it made Tanner‟s heart stutter. “After that huge breakfast you made, I‟ll be fine.” After herding all the younger kids out, Ricky slammed the door and made for the school, leaving Tanner alone with Carla and Jess. Carla moved forward and sat in the passenger seat, while Jess took the seat right behind Tanner. An uneasy feeling went through Tanner as he realized that he was about to be ganged up on. “So, you‟re just helping Ricky out of the goodness of your heart?” Carla asked. “Are you this friendly with all your coworkers?” Jess added. “No, just Ricky and we knew each other long before I started working at St. Anthony‟s.” Jess leaned around the seat so he could give Tanner an assessing glance. “Yeah, that‟s right. You were the hot-as-hell medic who made him 48

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have a constant hard-on.” Tanner jerked around in his seat. “He told you that?” “No, I overheard him talking to Ben about you.” Jess flicked another glance over Tanner. “I actually don‟t see what all the excitement is about.” That was the second time in the span of an hour that one of Ricky‟s family members had insulted Tanner‟s looks. He didn‟t know whether to get offended or to develop a complex. “Hey, that‟s not cool,” Tanner defended, knowing how lame he probably sounded. “Sorry, you‟re just not my type. I like my guys to have a little more muscle on them.” “You‟re fifteen, stop talking like that. Does Ricky know that you‟re…” Tanner waved a hand, too flustered to continue. Jess cocked a brow. “Gay? Yeah, he knows. It‟s also why I owe him everything.” “For what,” Tanner asked, wondering what he was missing. Carla cleared her throat. “When Ricky came out five years ago, things didn‟t go very well. While our mom was great about it, our dad was a real asshole.” “How so?” Tanner‟s mouth grew dry as his stomach clenched. Just the mere thought of Ricky having to go through the same kind of heartache 49

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that Tanner had suffered made him want to be sick. “He punched Ricky. Really, it wasn‟t more than a slap, but it still drew blood,” Jess replied, hollowly. “Mom packed up our things and she left him that very night.” Carla shook her head. “No, let me rephrase that, we left him.” “If Dad refused Ricky, then as far as we were concerned, he was refusing all of us,” Jess said. “And now that you realize that you‟re gay, you admire him for breaking the ground for you, so to speak,” Tanner concluded. Jess gave a sad smile. “He‟s my hero, which is why we don‟t want to see him get hurt.” “Why are you telling me all this? We just met this morning,” Tanner pointed out. Carla gave a soft laugh. “Because we know how much he likes you.” “Did he tell you that?” “No, but you‟re the first boyfriend that he ever brought home,” Carla confided. “Plus, he talks about you a lot. Not like he does with Ben, but he‟s always saying how nice and funny you are,” Jess said, once again seeming to finish Carla‟s statement. Tanner wondered if it was just them or some kind of funky twin bond. Carla reached out and put a hand on Tanner‟s arm. “Let me ask you something. When you said 50

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you weren‟t invited to your sister‟s wedding, was it because you‟re gay?” “Yes.” Hurt sliced through Tanner as he thought about that slight. “When I came out to them, they cut me off. I haven‟t spoken to them since I was eighteen.” “How long ago was that?” Carla asked, tears forming in her eyes “Eight years.” “That‟s a lot of time to be alone.” “Yeah, it is.” Damn if that wasn‟t the truth, too. While he had some terrific friends, Tanner still longed to have a family to call his own. To know that there was some place where he‟d be loved and wanted, no matter what. Carla gave him a wavering smile. “Well, I‟ll promise you something. Someday, when I get married, you are so invited. Of course that may be awhile. I vowed that I wouldn‟t get married until it‟s legal for Ricky to do so. And Jess, too, of course.” Tanner found himself growing to like her more with each passing moment. “Does Ricky know how smart you are?” “Who do you think I got it from?” She hooked a thumb toward Jess. “It certainly wasn‟t from that lunkhead.” “Brat,” Jess shot off. 51

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“Dork,” Carla tossed back. Their grins showed that neither of them truly meant the cut downs. Carla looked out the window. “Here comes Ricky.” She slid to the backseat just as Ricky opened the door and climbed in. He eyed the twins suspiciously, but ignored them as he pulled on his seatbelt. “Did you get them to class okay?” Tanner asked as he put the van in gear. “Yeah, Alex tried to fake an asthma attack on the way in, but I didn‟t buy it.” “Let me guess, his acting skills aren‟t that good.” “No, he does fine there. He just forgot that he doesn‟t have asthma.” The twins snorted with laughter while Tanner just rolled his eyes. God help him, but he was really getting to like the crazy family. They dropped Carla and Jess off at the high school, then ran by Tanner‟s so he could grab a change of clothes before going back to the house. Once they got there, they went to different bathrooms to shower. Once he was dressed, Tanner went to the other bedroom door and tapped on it. “Did you take your insulin?” “Yes, do you want to see the boo-boo the needle left behind?” came Ricky‟s muffled reply. 52

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“No, but if you want, I‟ll kiss it better.” There was a long pause before a single word finally drifted through the door. “Really?” If Ricky only knew how much his naivety was a turn on for Tanner, then they‟d both be in trouble. “Are we crashing on the couch?” Tanner asked. Ricky opened the door, looking way too delectable in a faded red Pac-man shirt and blue sweat pants. His hair was wet and slicked back, a few droplets sticking to some random stands. “I was thinking we could stretch out on my bed. It‟s the one I had as a kid, so it‟s only a fullsized, but it‟s still pretty comfortable.” “You want to snuggle in bed with me?” Tanner asked as he reached out to catch a droplet of water that was running down Ricky‟s check. Ricky‟s oh-too-kissable lips parted in a gasp, as his eyes grew wide. Tanner braced himself, knowing those were the signs that a ramble would be coming his way. “Yeah, I thought that would be nice…well, more than nice. Who am I kidding? It would be fan-fucking-tastic because it would be with you. For snuggling that is. I wasn‟t trying to proposition you, or anything. I‟m not a slut or anything. Although, I wouldn‟t be opposed to having sex with you. In fact, that‟s my favorite jackoff fantasy.” As soon as that last little bit came out, Ricky 53

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blushed and squeezed his eyes shut. “Ah, shit! Can you forget I even said that last part?” “No, because I happen to think it‟s hotter than hell.” Tanner brushed a soft kiss over Ricky‟s lips. “So, it didn‟t make me sound lame?” “Babe, there is nothing lame about you. When I look at you I see a cute, quirky, sexy, caring man who I would like to get to know a whole lot better.” “Are you serious?” “Why does that surprise you so much?” “Hello! Have you ever looked at me? I‟m too skinny. I‟m always making an ass out of myself somehow. I‟m about as un-smooth as the entire cast of Revenge of the Nerds combined. Let‟s not forget the diabetes, either, can‟t leave that little sexy trait out. You, on the other hand, are perfect.” Tanner gave Ricky another kiss, all the while struggling with what to say that would convince Ricky of just how truly desirable he was. In the end, Tanner decided to go with the simplest explanation, “If you could only see yourself through my eyes. For nearly a year, it‟s been the highlight of my day when I got to go to St. Anthony‟s and see you. Chauncey used to tease me, because I was always looking for excuses to walk by radiology, just so I could bump into you.” “Oh,” Ricky gasped. “I think that‟s the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me.” 54

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“And I mean every word of it, too. So, now that that‟s settled, let‟s go to bed. I don‟t know about you, but I‟m exhausted.” “Okay, that sounds great.” Ricky grabbed Tanner‟s hand and led the way over to a full-sized bed. The black bedspread was pulled back to reveal sheets that had the solar system on them. The theme seemed to be all over the room. There were several posters on the wall that depicted pictures of planets or moons, and there was a few action figures on the dresser that Tanner suspected were from Ricky‟s favorite show. “Here, you get into bed and I‟ll find us something to watch. The TV is kind of small, since I already took the bigger one to my apartment, but I still have most of my DVD‟s here. Is there anything special you want to watch?” “How about Doctor Who?” The blinding grin that that Tanner got in response to that suggestion made him more horny than a room full of strippers on Viagra. “Cool, I have a ton of them. Do you have any preference?” “How about you put on your favorite one?” Ricky got the DVD going before he jumped into bed. As Ricky climbed up toward the pillow, he managed to head butt Tanner a few times. He muttered some apologies before finally getting 55

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situated next to Tanner. As they settled in, Ricky became absorbed in the show. Meanwhile, Tanner studied Ricky. How the man could think that he wasn‟t anything special was a mystery to Tanner. Ricky had a sweet sensuality about him that no other could even come close to matching. There was something about the man that made Tanner want to fuck him, protect him, and embrace him all at the same time. “I missed you so much,” Tanner confessed. Ricky turned to look at him. “I missed you, too. Can I ask you something?” Stomach sinking, because he had a pretty good inkling what the question would be, Tanner nodded. “What happened? Why did you drop out of sight?” Ricky prodded, gently. Since Tanner figured he owed Ricky an explanation, he decided to just to lay the ugly truth out there. Tanner only hoped that Ricky wouldn‟t think less of him once he heard everything. Taking a deep breath, Tanner said, “I lost a patient. She was just kid, fresh out of high school and she died, because I fucked up.” “Fucked up how?” “She was in a car accident—a really, bad one. Usually, Chauncey is primary out in the field, but 56

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he was on vacation at the time, and I was stuck with a rookie that day.” “So, that made you in charge,” Ricky mused. “Yes, and I wasn‟t anywhere ready for the challenge. The patient began showing signs of severe brain damage and I stupidly focused on just that.” “Why wouldn‟t you? It‟s a pretty significant injury.” “I should have been looking at the whole picture. If I had, I would have noticed that she was going into shock from internal bleeding. Instead, I missed it and she ended up dying from hypovolemia.” “You can‟t blame yourself for that. There is no way to know for certain that there‟s an internal bleed out in the field. It‟s not like you have ultrasound equipment on you. Plus, the head injury would have messed with her vitals, so you couldn‟t have known that way either.” “Try telling that to her family, because they lost their daughter and will never get her back.” Ricky rolled to his side so they were facing each other. Reaching out, he cupped Tanner‟s cheek. “From the sounds of it, there was nothing you could have done to save her. If shock hadn‟t gotten her, then the head injury would have.” “Maybe, but I‟ll never know for sure.” “So, instead you‟ve been beating yourself up 57

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over this. Is that why you‟re working at the ER instead of out in the field? Because you‟re afraid of being alone and in charge, then making a mistake?” “Yes,” Tanner admitted, harshly. “At least in the ER, I have the other staff for support.” Even Tanner had to admit to himself that logic had some flaws to it. He could fuck up in the ER just as easily. It just gave him some sense of security to know that he could turn to somebody else, should he get in over his head. Sure, he used to have Chauncey, but Tanner had learned the hard way that his work partner may not always be able to be there. “Now I understand why you don‟t laugh as much anymore.” Ricky ran the pad of his thumb over Tanner‟s skin. “I wondered why you seem so sad. I just wish there was something I could do to make it better. I miss the way you used to tease me. How you always had a smartass answer for everything. Most of all, I hate that you don‟t trust yourself anymore.” “I don‟t think I‟ll ever go back to the way I was,” Tanner admitted. It killed him, too, because he also yearned for things to be as they once were. So much so, that he‟d give almost anything to have one great big do-over. Ricky leaned in and slowly began to slowly kiss 58

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Tanner, first on the lips, before pressing soft pecks down Tanner‟s jaw and neck. Tingles of pleasure danced down Tanner‟s body as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back on the pillow. “Relax and let me take care of you,” Ricky all but hummed as he sucked at Tanner‟s neck. “I thought I was supposed to be playing nurse for you today,” Tanner protested, even as his cock gave a happy jerk of hell-yeah at Ricky‟s suggestion. “You can worry about me later. I just want this moment to be about you.” Reaching down, Ricky found Tanner‟s cock and gave it a gentle squeeze. Tanner hissed in pleasure, the heat of Ricky‟s touch somehow managing to penetrate the material of Tanner‟s sweats. “You‟re so big,” Ricky observed. Tanner could feel the man smile against his flesh, so he figured that made Ricky very happy. A fact further proved when Ricky let out a moan before he gave Tanner‟s erection another squeeze. “Hmm…I think I better take a closer look at it. While it feels like it‟s fantastic, I should find out for sure.” “„Kay” was all Tanner managed to get out before the image of Ricky sliding down the bed took away all coherent thought. Not missing a beat, Ricky pulled Tanner‟s 59

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sweats and underwear down. Tanner let out a groan as his cock sprang free, the tip hovering just inches from Ricky‟s mouth. Ricky‟s tongue darted out to lick his full lips, the movement coming off as nervous and sexy at the same time. Every time he breathed out, a rush of warm air brushed over Tanner‟s dick, making him want to groan with need. Just as Ricky was parting his lips to get things going, Tanner said, “No, wait!” Ricky blinked up at him. “You don‟t want this?” “I‟d have to be insane not to. I just want you to take your cock out. I want to watch you stroke off as you suck me.” “Oh, I like that plan.” Ricky jerked his own pants down and took out his long, thick cock. Rubbing his thumb over the head, he collected up some pre-cum and slowly pumped his fist up and down. Letting out a soft sob, his lids fluttered shut, his dark lashes fanning his pale cheeks, oh-so-perfectly. “You‟re so fucking beautiful,” Tanner breathed, his heart thundering at the erotic picture Ricky made. Ricky grinned up, before leaning down and running his tongue up the underside of Tanner‟s cock. Tanner jerked, his hands fisting into the thick comforter. “Yeah, just like that.” 60

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Swirling his tongue along the head of Tanner‟s cock, Ricky then parted his lips and took in all of Tanner‟s length. At the same time, Ricky continued to stroke himself off, per Tanner‟s order. “That‟s it, take me deep,” Tanner urged, not caring that he was being more vocal than a lowbudget phone sex operator. It seemed to work because Ricky sucked Tanner in so deep, the tip of his cock bumped into the back of Ricky‟s throat. At the same time, he used his free hand to squeeze Tanner‟s balls, his fingers working a magic all of their own. Ricky set up a slow steady rhythm, which spoke miles about his natural ability, given that he was essentially doing three tasks at once. Tanner made a mental note to ask Ricky how in the hell he managed it, but not until later. Right now, he didn‟t want to stop the action for anything. A muffled groan let Tanner know Ricky was enjoying the moment just as much. Going up on his elbows so he could have a better view, Tanner growled at the erotic sight of Ricky. His lips were stretched thin around Tanner‟s shaft, while Ricky‟s other hand was working his own cock, perfectly. The wet tip thrusting in and out of the top of his fist. Then Ricky glanced up, his lustinfused eyes seeming to sear into Tanner and that made things too much to take. 61

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Throwing his head back, Tanner shouted as he came, his cock filling Ricky‟s hot mouth. Ricky let out a whimper before his smaller body shuddered so hard it shook the entire bed. Not wanting to miss that reaction, Tanner glanced back down just in time to see Ricky shooting off into his hand. Ricky looked down at the mess and a cute little blush deepening the flush already placed there by their shared passion. “Oops, I better go take care of that.” Tanner snagged Ricky by the wrist and pulled him up. Licking most of the cum clean, Tanner then captured Ricky in a hard kiss, moaning at the taste of their combined flavors. Pulling back, Ricky grinned down at him. “Does that mean I did a good job?” Tanner laughed. “It was the best I‟ve ever gotten. Now go get cleaned up, so we can get some sleep.” “Okay, but if you snore, I‟m kicking you to the couch.” The satisfied gleam in Ricky‟s eyes said that was an empty threat. Tanner knew he wouldn‟t be going anywhere soon, and that pleased him just fine.

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Chapter Six

T

anner woke up to the sounds of somebody clearing their throat. Opening his eyes, he came to two conclusions— one, Ricky was still asleep, his body wrapped around Tanner, second some strange woman was staring down at them. Even though she appeared to be in her forties, she look so much like Carla, that Tanner had no problem figuring out who she was. “Hello, Mrs. Parker.” He subtly tried to subtly nudge Ricky. Being the little brat that he was, Ricky just snuggled in deep and continued to sleep. Even worse, his hand somehow landed on Tanner‟s cock. While they were both dressed, it still wasn‟t a position Tanner wanted to be in when he first met his boyfriend‟s mother. “You must be Tanner,” she replied, arching a brow. “Yeah, how did you know?” Again, Tanner tried to nudge Ricky. Again, 63

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Ricky just nuzzled in more. He even let out a happy sigh. “Going by the way Ricky always talks about you, I knew it was only a matter of time before he brought you home.” She smiled, her eyes lighting up just the way Ricky‟s did when he found something humorous. “By the way, call me Tansy.” Ricky finally stirred. “Mom, is that you?” “No, it‟s the strange neighbor lady who keeps trying to peek into your bedroom window.” She glanced at Tanner. “By the way, that‟s not a joke. She really does that. That damn cougar is always trying to get her claws in Ricky. So, maybe if you two make out in the front yard, we could finally nip that problem in the bud.” Sitting up, Ricky laughed. “I don‟t know if even that would work. Just the other morning, she walked out to get her paper in nothing but a towel and twenty pounds of mascara.” “Let me guess, you just happened to be getting out of the car at the time. That woman is such a stalker,” Tansy wrinkled her nose in disgust. After saying that, she went over and smacked Ricky in the back of the head. “And that‟s for not taking care of yourself better.” “Ouch!” Ricky rubbed the spot, a guilty look crossing his face. “Who ratted me out?” “I got a text from Ben last night and caught the 64

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first flight out.” “He‟s such a tattletale,” Ricky groused. “Besides, you didn‟t have to worry. Tanner has been taking care of me.” She let out an almost juvenile sounding snicker. “I‟ll just bet he has.” Tanner turned to Ricky. “Your mother is just as crazy as the rest of your family.” “Who do you think we got it from?” Tansy ruffled Ricky‟s hair. “Come on out to the kitchen. I brought some late lunch home. We can eat while I get to learn all of your man‟s deep, dark secrets.” After she walked out, Ricky leaned over and said in a loud stage whisper, “If we sneak out of the back, we could make a run for it.” “Don‟t even think about it,” Tansy sang from the other room. They laughed, then got out of bed, joining her at the table. Thankfully, she only made light conversation and didn‟t give him the third degree. Once they were done, she made Ricky test his blood sugar, giving a satisfied nod when it was finally in the normal range. “I guess we‟ll have to keep Tanner then,” she declared as she got up and started to clear the table. When Tanner and Ricky moved to help her, she 65

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shooed them away. “You boys go ahead and get out of here. I can finish this.” “Are you sure?” Tanner pressed, not wanting to come across as a slob or something. “Just promise me you‟ll stay with him for at least a couple more hours to make sure his blood sugar stays level.” Tanner didn‟t have a problem following that order at all. “You got it. I don‟t work tonight so I won‟t have anything pressing my time.” “It‟s Ricky‟s night off, too. So you guys have all night to—” “Thanks, Mom. But we have to go,” Ricky broke in. He grabbed Tanner‟s hand and rushed them out of there, only pausing long enough for them to get their backpacks. Once outside, Ricky said, “I didn‟t mean to come off as rude, but I knew just where she was going with that comment and it would have ended up embarrassing both of us.” Tanner laughed as he followed Ricky. Instead of the van, Ricky led him to a small compact car that had a little rainbow bumper sticker on the rear bumper. “This is what I normally drive. I was just using Mom‟s van so I could lug all the kids around,” Ricky explained as they got in. Once he started up the engine, he asked, “Do you want me to swing you by the hospital so we can pick up your car?” 66

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Tanner leaned in and gave Ricky a searing kiss. “No, if it‟s okay with you, I want to go directly to your apartment.” “Why, Tanner, are you propositioning me?” Ricky asked, blinking his eyes in mock surprise. “You bet your cute ass I am. Now let‟s get going. I‟ve waited for nearly a year to fuck you and I don‟t think I can hold out much longer.” “Then we better get going before we do much more than just kiss in front of the horny neighbor lady.” Ricky pulled out on the road. The ride to his place was short, so Tanner didn‟t have much time to wait in anticipation before they arrived at a small apartment complex. They raced up the stairs to the second floor, Ricky once again holding Tanner‟s hand and leading the way. The apartment itself was pretty small and painted the standard issue beige color. Numerous boxes were scattered throughout, showing that neither Ricky nor Ben were fast unpackers. Ben was at the kitchen table, working on his computer. He glanced up with a knowing smile. “Hi, Ben. Bye, Ben,” Ricky called as they raced by. Ben‟s soft laugher followed them as Ricky led Tanner to one of the bedrooms, then closed the door. More boxes were surrounding the bed, but 67

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at least the mattress seemed functional. Deciding to give it a test run, Tanner put a hand in the center of Ricky‟s chest and gave a gentle shove. Ricky fell back, bouncing once before he stopped and gazed up at Tanner with a hunger gaze. Not saying a word, Tanner began to pull off his clothing, tossing them carelessly to the side. Once he was naked, he gave Ricky a pointed look. “Are you going to lose the clothes?” Ricky gave a crooked smile. “I don‟t know. I kind of like just sitting here. The view is really nice. The apartment manager hadn‟t been lying when he said that was one of this buildings‟ best features.” “Okay, how about this…take off the clothes yourself before I take matters into my own hands and tear them off your body.” With an overly dramatic gasp, Ricky grasped the front of his shirt. “You wouldn‟t dare rip PacMan.” Tanner growled playfully and Ricky let out a yelp before he hastily stripped. Once he had every inch of the man‟s glorious body bared to him, Tanner crawled up on the bed and stalked Ricky, forcing him to scoot back until his messed up hair almost touched the headboard. Pausing, a distressing thought occurred to Tanner. “Please, tell me you don‟t have the lube packed away in one of these boxes.” 68

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Ricky just shook his head before pointing to the nightstand. It amused Tanner to see the usually chatty Ricky mute for once. Tanner reached over and grabbed a condom and what appeared to be a never been used bottle of lube. Getting back into position, he dipped his head down to kiss Ricky. His man tasted so good that Tanner could have kissed him all night. In fact, that‟s just what he planned on doing once they finally got the relief that was so long in coming. Tanner pulled back and sloshed some of the slick on his finger, before he began to nibble on the side of Ricky‟s throat. “That‟s so nice,” Ricky sighed as he tangled his fingers in Tanner‟s hair. Liking that Ricky finally found his voice again, Tanner decided to do everything he could think of to make the man get even more vocal. Still nuzzling Ricky‟s neck, Tanner sucked in a piece of skin. At the same time, he slowly thrust one finger in Ricky‟s tight hole. Ricky let out a loud yelp, his body arching up. “Oh, yeah! Stick more in me.” Tanner ignored the order, not giving him more until he was sure Ricky‟s body was ready for it. That still didn‟t stop Ricky from yelling the order a few more times. Giving Ricky another love bite, Tanner thrust in a second finger, curling them so they pegged Ricky‟s prostate. 69

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“That‟s the spot. Gotta love fucking a nurse. They know a guy‟s anatomy inside out,” Ricky cried so loud, they probably heard him all the way back at the hospital. Tanner couldn‟t help but chuckle at that statement. Since he was dying to know what Ricky would say next, Tanner added a third finger, this time sinking his teeth into Ricky‟s neck hard enough to leave a slight indentation. “And, we have a biter, here! Lady Gaga would be so proud of you. Show me those teeth!” This time, Tanner let out a full-laugh. Tapping Ricky on the ass, he said, “Get on your knees and grab onto the headboard.” Ricky moved so fast to obey, that he almost knocked Tanner off the bed. His bout of clumsiness was worth it, though, because once he was in position, he looked so hot that Tanner almost came on the spot. Ricky‟s ass was tilted up just slightly, while his back was arched perfectly. A fined sheen of sweat covered his body, making it seem to glisten under the dim light and his eyes were glazed over with passion. Tanner could barely look away long enough to slide the condom on. Thanks to sheer determination, he finally managed the task. Getting behind Ricky, Tanner ran a palm down the man‟s spine, reveling in the shiver he got in response. 70

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“Please, Tanner. Fuck me hard.” Tanner hummed his agreement before he lined his cock up to Ricky‟s hole and slowly thrust in. Or at least he tried to take it slow, true. True to form, Ricky had to have the last word. With a grunt, he thrust back, fully impaling himself on Tanner‟s cock. They both moaned in unison, before Tanner took back control. Giving Ricky‟s ass a not-sogentle slap, he said, “This is my turn to take care of things, so stop being so bossy for once.” “Yes. Okay. Sure. Whatever, just start fucking me…please.” Since Ricky asked so prettily, who was Tanner to refuse? Using one hand to grip Ricky‟s hip, Tanner fisted the other in his lover‟s hair. He then gave Ricky the fucking he‟d been begging for. “Yes, like that! Do me hard!” Ricky yelled, his fingers gripping the headboard so tightly that his knuckles turned white. There was no way that Ben and the rest of the apartment complex couldn‟t hear Ricky‟s cries of passion, but Tanner kept it up. If anything he moved faster, in hopes of getting even more noise out of his man. Sweat built up on their bodies, making them slick, so Tanner tightened his grip, his nails digging into Ricky‟s flesh. That only seemed to turn Ricky on more and soon he was thrusting 71

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back so hard, that he almost knocked Tanner off the end of the mattress. “Gonna come! Gonna come!” Ricky threw back his head, a loud moan ripping from his chest. “Do it. Let me really hear you scream,” Tanner urged. Maybe the line was a bit cheesy and Porn 101, but it worked. Ricky jerked once, before he came, untouched, his body trembling. His ass clenched around Tanner. That was enough to send Tanner spiraling into his own orgasm. He shouted out Ricky‟s name, his cock filling the condom. They froze in place, both of them taking heaving breaths. Tanner finally dropped his head so it rested against the back of Ricky‟s shoulder. A bit of sweat clung to the man‟s skin and Tanner couldn‟t resist the urge to lick it. “Okay, we are so doing that again. I just need like five minutes to recover,” Ricky finally panted. Tanner pressed a kiss to the Ricky‟s skin. “Oh, I plan on us doing it plenty of times. You have no idea of what kinds of things I want to do to you.” Ricky gave a breathy chuckle. “I guess it‟s a good thing that both of us have the day off tomorrow. At least we can get a good start on your list.” A good start. Tanner found himself really liking that idea.

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Chapter Seven

R

icky put some supplies on the shelf in the back of radiology room, wincing when the movement caused pain to certain parts of his body. He and Tanner had spent most of the day having sex and Ricky wasn‟t used to so much physical activity. Not that Ricky was complaining. Far from it. The past couple of days had been the best time of his life and it was all he could do to keep the giddy grin off his face. Something he knew he failed at when Cybil, his co-worker, let out a snort. “Will you stop looking so damn happy? There are some of us who are still miserable and single,” she groused good-naturedly. A plump, middle-aged, single mother, she was Ricky‟s favorite tech to work with. Not only was she sweet and funny as hell, but she always brought in home-baked, sugar-free, chocolate chip cookies. Ricky laughed. “Sorry, I‟ll try my best to look 73

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grouchy for the rest of the shift.” “Thank you. All the sugar, sweet happiness rolling off you is beginning to make my teeth rot. I sure as hell can‟t afford the dental bill either.” “That would be tragic. Then you wouldn‟t have enough money for your steamy novels.” “And then you wouldn‟t be able to pretend that you don‟t read that kind of thing, even as you continue to borrow every one of my books,” she shot back. The Trauma One alarm sounded over the hospital loudspeaker, interrupting their conversation. Ricky rushed immediately to the ER. Since his radiology department was a part of the trauma team, he knew he‟d be expected to show up within in minutes of the call coming out. He walked in to find the large room already filled with other members of the team. Tanner was there and he flashed Ricky a warm smile. Ricky gave him a small wave, before going over to the portable X-Ray machine. The team barely had time to get everything prepared before the paramedics came rushing in with the patient. Even before they‟d transferred the young man from the cot to the hospital bed, Ricky could tell they would be fighting a losing battle. Going by the blood-drenched paper sheet, the patient had lost a lot of fluid. In addition, the portable cardiac monitor showed a flat-line, which 74

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meant there was no heart activity at all. They still worked the code, the team members rushing around as they did their various jobs. Ricky tried his best to stay out the way, until they called on him to take an X-Ray. Something that wouldn‟t be needed if they didn‟t get the patient‟s pulse back. Tanner was giving chest compressions, sweat running down his face and arms, as his muscles flexed. Since Ricky didn‟t have a task at the moment, he grew distracted and made the mistake of looking in the patient‟s face. His stomach ached as he noted how the kid couldn‟t be more than twenty. While his body and head were covered with blood and lacerations, Ricky could still make out most of the patient‟s youthful and innocent features. Patrick, the doctor running the code, finally said, “Let‟s call this, gang. There‟s nothing else we can do for him.” He then looked up and spoke aloud the time so the death could be properly documented. Tanner stopped doing compressions and pulled off his gloves, a loud curse ripping from his lips. Ricky jumped both in shock over the word and because he couldn‟t believe Tanner was getting so upset. Sure, they all hated to lose a patient, but all hospital staff learn to compartmentalize those feelings so they didn‟t break. 75

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Then it dawned on Ricky why this was hitting Tanner so hard, and his chest clenched in pain for his lover. The girl. All this was no doubt making Tanner remember that horrible day. Ricky exchanged worried looks with Ben. “Fuck this,” Tanner yelled before he stormed out of the room and went through the bay-doors leading outside. Ricky didn‟t hesitate, Tanner needed him, so he‟d be there for his man. Leaving everybody behind, Ricky raced outside. The cool, night air sliced through his scrub top, making him shiver, but Ricky hardly noticed it. All his attention was focused on Tanner and the heartbreaking image he made. He was leaning his forehead against the concrete wall and looked to be close to tears. “Tanner, are you okay?” Ricky asked. He gave an internal wince. Duh! Of course Tanner wasn‟t okay. One look at the guy screamed that fact. Approaching closer, Ricky reached out to touch Tanner only to have Tanner pull away from him. “Get the hell out of here,” Tanner snapped. Ricky froze, hurt going through him. He shook it off, telling himself that it was only the grief talking. “No, I won‟t leave you. You need me.” Tanner turned on him. “Surprise, Ricky, not 76

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everybody in life is lost without your precious guidance. There‟s some things that not even you can fix.” Ricky took a step back, his gut twisting with emotion. “I didn‟t say that you needed to be fixed, I just wanted to be there to support you.” “How? You have no idea what I‟m going through. You don‟t know what it‟s like to lose a patient. You‟re a radiology tech, so the only thing you ever are in danger of losing is a damn X-Ray.” “You don‟t mean that?” “It must be so easy to have a job where you can just tuck yourself in a room and never take the risk of having somebody under your care die.” “Hey, I was in that room, too. That kid was every bit as much as my patient.” “Not really, since we didn‟t need you to work the X-ray machine. After all, that‟s the only reason you were there. It certainly wasn‟t to invest yourself into his care.” Oh, no he didn’t! Ricky took a deep breath as a heavy dose of anger hit him. “Are you trying to say that I‟m nothing more than a glorified portrait photographer?” “Yes! No! Damn it, I don‟t know. I just need you to leave me alone.” Holding his hands up, Ricky backpedaled to the bay doors. “No, problem. You can stay here with your misery for the rest of your life for all I 77

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care. I‟m done being your verbal punching bag.” Ricky then turned and walked through the doors. The entire time, he hoped that Tanner would call his name, maybe even give chase and apologize, but it never happened. **** Tanner finished marking patient charts before he tossed the pen to the side and let out a tired sigh. Actually, he was more than tired, he felt sad, depressed, miserable, dejected and every other synonym for gloomy. All because he‟d fucked up, big time. Worse yet, he hadn‟t been able to make things better between him and Ricky. Tanner had tried numerous times in the past three days to talk to the man, but Ricky refused to talk. When Tanner called, his lame ass was tossed into voice mail. Knocks to the front door went unanswered. Shit, Tanner couldn‟t even see the guy at work because Ricky called in every shift since their argument. He buried his face in his hands as he wondered what he was going to do. While he and Ricky had only been officially together for a couple days, Tanner realized he‟d fallen for the man a long time ago. Now that they finally came so close to having a real relationship, Tanner didn‟t want to lose it. A tiny fist came from his right and slammed 78

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into his arm. “You stupid jerk! I told you not to break his heart!” Jerking in pain and shock, Tanner turned to find a very furious looking Carla. “Shouldn‟t you be in school?” “And shouldn‟t you be on your knees, groveling to my brother for forgiveness,” she countered before giving him another punch. “Ouch! Easy there, tiger.” Ben came rushing over. “What‟s going on here?” Carla shot Tanner a filthy glare. “I‟m just giving this DB here a piece of my mind.” “What do you want me to do?” Tanner demanded, letting the DB comment slide for the moment. “I‟ve tried apologizing, but he refuses to talk to me.” “That‟s because you‟re a—” “Okay, we get it,” Ben cut in. “Tanner‟s a great big meanie butt. “ “Yes, he is,” Carla snarled. “But Ricky‟s being a stubborn brat, too,” Ben added. She let out a gasp of shock. “How can you take Tanner‟s side?” “Because I know Ricky better than anybody and I know how bullheaded he can be. I also understand how upset Tanner has been these past few days. It‟s so bad that I‟ve been tempted to pin 79

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a blue donkey tail to his butt because he‟s been just as chipper of Eeyore.” “Really?” All the anger faded from her face. “Yeah.” “He‟s been really, really miserable? Because that‟s what he deserves.” “I know I do and I would do anything to make it up to him,” Tanner cut in. Carlo narrowed her eyes. “Give me one good reason why I should believe you?” “Because I haven‟t hurt this bad over losing somebody. Not even when my own family cut me off. It‟s so bad that I spent all last night eating ice cream and watching Dr. Who reruns.” Tears pooled in Carla‟s eyes. “Oh, wow. That‟s both sweet and amazingly dorky.” Turning to Ben, she asked, “So, what are we going to do to get them back together?” . Tanner wondered when it‟d suddenly became a we problem. He kept his mouth shut though, because he didn‟t want to get punched again. Ben smiled. “I actually have an idea.” She leaned her arms on the nurse‟s station. “What is it?” “Forrest and Patrick are throwing a huge early Halloween bash. They‟ve invited all the people in the gay EMS circle, too, so Tanner or Ricky can drop easily drop by.” “Do I get any say in this?” Tanner asked. 80

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They both ignored him. “How can you be certain Ricky will go? We both know he‟s not the party type?” Carla demanded. “You let me worry about that,” Ben assured her. “We just need to figure out the perfect costume for Tanner. It should be something that will touch Ricky so much that he‟ll have no choice but to forgive Tanner.” “Oh!” She danced up and down on the balls of her feet. “Are you thinking what I‟m thinking?” “Yes, it‟s time that Ricky got a visit from The Doctor.” Going by the wicked look the pair shared, that comment didn‟t bode well for Tanner at all.

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Chapter Eight

R

icky stared morosely down at his drink as he wondered why in the hell he‟d allowed Ben to talk him into coming to this damn party. Not that the food and drinks weren‟t good. They were top quality. Hell, they even had a live band playing. If Ricky were pressed, he‟d have to admit it was one of the best set-ups he‟d ever been to. It‟s just that it seemed like every damn person there was part of a happy couple. They even frigging wore matching costumes. Matt and Lucas were dressed up as a certain caped hero and his younger sidekick. Forrest and Patrick wore Salt and Pepper costumes. Dylan and Kaleb were Bert and Ernie. Jessie and Randal came as Starsky and Hutch. Kiefer and Ray dressed as The Lone Ranger and Tonto, completing their look with stick horses. Calvin was dressed as David Beckham while James came as a giant soccer ball. For some odd reason Dustin and Vaughn had 82

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chosen to be Ringo and Paul, completely leaving out poor John and George. Since Clayton was a huge fan of the show Survivor, he and his partner, Justin, came as tribe members, with matching buffs. Chauncey and Brody rounded out the group with their Frodo and Samwise getups. And what did Ricky have on? A stupid, borrowed Army costume that reeked of stale cigarettes and Axe Body Spray. Even Ben looked better and he was dressed up as the Red Angry Bird. To make things even suckier, all the couples were snuggling and kissing. Each performance of PDA sending Ricky deeper into depression because it only made him think of Tanner. Ricky knew he should just let Tanner talk to him. Maybe he wanted to explain or apologize. It was just hard though, because some of the things Tanner had insinuated about being a radiology tech were the exact thing Ricky‟s dad had jeered at him about. That left Ricky feeling hurt and a little betrayed because he thought Tanner had more respect for him and his job. It wasn‟t easy to stay angry though because Ricky missed Tanner—so much so that it caused an ache in his chest. While they may have only been lovers for a while, Ricky found that he didn‟t want to make it through the day without hearing Tanner‟s voice, or to feel the man‟s strong arms 83

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around him. Ricky knew then that first thing in the morning, he‟d call Tanner and try to find a way to fix this damn mess. Because hurt feelings or not, Ricky simply wasn‟t ready to give up on the other man. Tossing his cup into the trash, Ricky went over to Ben. Tapping him on the shoulder, Ricky said, “I don‟t feel so well, so I‟m going home.” “You can‟t go home. Not without seeing The Doctor,” Ben replied putting really heavy emphasis on the last word. “All I have is a headache. It‟s not serious enough to bug Patrick over.” “No, I meant that Doctor.” Ben pointed to the front of the room and Ricky looked, his breath catching in his chest when he saw Tanner standing there, dressed as Doctor Who. Or more specifically, the Eleventh Doctor Who. “Oh, my God,” Ricky breathed, his heart melting just a little bit. Tanner glanced down at the getup. “Do you like it?” “Of course I do. You have the tweed jacket, the suspenders and you even wore the little bow tie. It‟s perfect.” “You look nice, too,” Tanner said, nodding to Ricky‟s Army costume. “What can I say? They asked, I told and they still took me. Gotta love that repeal,” Ricky teased 84

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in an effort to hide his nerves. Tanner cocked a brow. “So, do all uniform pants in the military have Velcro running up the sides?” “Damn it, you saw through my ruse. Okay, it‟s actually a costume I borrowed from a friend of Matt. Since he‟s a wannabe stripper, it needs to be easy on, easy off.” “That was nice of that guy to lend you his work outfit.” “Yeah, I guess. Too bad the man was a bit sleazy. I‟m kind of afraid to go under a black light. I‟m pretty certain this thing is just full of body fluid stains.” Tanner nodded. “You‟d probably glow brighter than a Christmas tree.” “Which would not be nearly as fun as it sounds.” Ricky gave Tanner another once over. “You really do look amazing.” Ricky still couldn‟t believe that Tanner had shown up and dressed as Ricky‟s favorite TV character. It made all the anger and hurt that had been lingering over the past few days evaporate. “Thanks, Ben. Carla and Matt helped me.” “Wait! Matt got you something as awesome as that, but he stuck me with this?” Turning back to the crowd, Ricky yelled, “Matt, you suck!” “Thank you,” was Matt‟s far away sounding response. 85

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“I still think that Captain Jack Harkness would have been better,” Lucas shouted. “Ah, babe even I know that he‟s from the wrong show.” “Don‟t be a jerk, Torchwood was a spinoff from Doctor Who, so they‟re close. They both had characters that crossed over.” Tanner laughed. “Don‟t mind them, they‟ve been having this argument all day long.” “It was worth listening to them for that kickass costume.” Ricky smiled. “I‟m glad you like it, because I wore it for you,” Tanner told Ricky. “You did? I mean, I kind of suspected that was the reason.” A warm feeling pooled in Ricky‟s belly. “I figured that if I was dressed like this you would finally talk to me.” “Well, the puppy dog eyes you‟re shooting me are helping your case, too.” Tanner took a few hesitant steps forward. “I was a complete asshole the other night. I didn‟t mean any of these things I said about you.” “It really hurt me,” Ricky confessed around the lump in his throat. “I know and now I‟m terrified.” “Of what?” “That I‟m going to lose you. As soon as you walked away from me that night, I realized 86

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something.” “Really, what?” Ricky asked, feeling a bit like a parrot. “That if I keep letting the past drag me down, I‟m going to lose the most important thing to me now.” “What‟s that?” “You. Look, I know we‟re just starting this relationship, but I know I‟m well on my way to falling in love with you. Ricky, you are so special that I don‟t even want to contemplate a life without you in it. I‟m willing to do whatever it takes to keep you. I even signed up for counseling to help me get over some of my issues.” By now, the entire room had grown quiet as they all watched Ricky and Tanner. “Of course I forgive you,” Ricky said, his voice breaking. Covering the distance between them, he launched himself into Tanner‟s arms. “I‟m sorry, too. I should have given you a chance to explain instead of hiding away the way I did.” “I guess we both have a lot to learn as far as relationships go,” Tanner said as he gave Ricky a tight squeeze. “Maybe I‟ll go to therapy, too. In case you haven‟t noticed, my family is a bit crazy.” Tanner laughed. “Now that you mention it, 87

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they do seem a bit odd. But I like them that way because they are a part of you.” Oh, damn just when Ricky thought the moment couldn‟t get any better. “Just so you know, you mean the world to me, too,” Ricky said as he buried his nose in the nook of Tanner‟s neck. “Good, because this time neither one of us is ever running away again. Through good times and bad, we stick by each other‟s side.” “Forever,” Ricky added as he closed his eyes. He meant it, too. Now that he had the man of his dreams, Ricky was never going to let him go again. Just as he knew that Tanner would always be there to watch over and care for him in return. The room burst out in applause. Laughing, Ricky leaned down and said in a low voice, “Now, how about we talk about you wearing this costume to bed?” “Anything for my man.” My man. As far as Ricky was concerned, there were no two sweeter words in the world.

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About the Author Stephani Hecht is a happily married mother of two. Born and raised in Michigan, she loves all things about the state, from the frigid winters to the Detroit Red Wings hockey team. Go Wings! You can usually find her snuggled up to her laptop, creating her next book or gorging on caffeine at her favorite coffee shop.