Immortal Desires

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Immortal Desires by Crymsyn Hart

Phaze www.phaze.com

Copyright ©2009 by Crymsyn Hart

NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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CONTENTS Immortal Desires Part One Prologue Part Two Chapter One Chapter Two Part Three Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One 3

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Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven About the Author ****

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Published by Phaze Books Also by Crymsyn Hart With Dahlia Rose: How to Ruin Halloween for the Grim Reaper How to Ruin Christmas for a Vampire How to Ruin Easter for a Werewolf This book contains explicit language intended for the enjoyment of adult readers. Please keep out of the hands of children. www.Phaze.com

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Immortal Desires a novel of paranormal erotic romance by CRYMSYN HART [Back to Table of Contents]

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Immortal Desires copyright 2009 by Crymsyn Hart All rights reserved under the International and PanAmerican Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental. A Phaze Production Phaze Books 6470A Glenway Avenue, #109 Cincinnati, OH 45211-5222 Phaze is an imprint of Mundania Press, LLC. To order additional copies of this book, contact: [email protected] www.Phaze.com 7

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Cover art © 2009 Skyla Dawn Cameron Edited by Pat Sager eBook ISBN-13: 978-1-59426-691-1 First Edition—April, 2009 Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Part One Lives Past [Back to Table of Contents]

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Prologue Panic doused Jacquelyn's brain as she scanned the grove. Even in the darkness her eyes picked up the splashes of gold, burnt orange, and cranberry intermixed with the emerald green pines. The leaves still provided plenty of cover for any creature wanting to hide among the branches. The sun had set a few hours ago, but she and Crimson had planned the hunt for days. Now she and her friend were the only ones left strong enough to take on their foe. Jacquelyn searched the shadows with well-trained eyes for any sign of Simon. He was a powerful vampire, controlled by a darkness that had driven him mad. Only with Crimson was he still lucid. It didn't mean anything now. Not after all the horror he had caused. They'd tracked him to this isolated place after Jacquelyn had discovered a mutilated corpse in the center of the Great Hall. She had gone to her friend, demanding that Simon be stopped. His killing spree had taken too many friends and loved ones from them both. Finally, Crimson acknowledged what needed to be done, knowing Jacquelyn was right. Simon had been a danger to their kind for far too long. Friends for over eight centuries, Crimson had been there the night Jacquelyn had died and was reborn as a vampire. For two centuries, Jacquelyn had despised the night, the moon, and Andrew, the one who had sired her. Eventually, her maker washed his hands of her, letting her find her own destiny. Only then did she realize there was more to live for 10

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in the shadows than she had ever dreamed. However, freedom had come with a great sacrifice. Years away from Andrew had made her heart pine for him. He'd been taken from her before she could ever reconcile her feelings. Time and loneliness had drawn Crimson and her together until they were night-sisters. Through the ages they had lived together, cried together, and watched as their comrades were slaughtered. Now Jacquelyn stood at the edge of the clearing with Crimson at her side. Loneliness and hatred filled her soul. Precious moments had been stolen from her, Andrew, and her child who had died in her arms. It was time for the hunter to pay for his crimes. Jacquelyn's lips were dry from running her tongue over them and then her fangs. She nicked her cheek to draw blood, trying to still her human-beating heart. Even though she feared the worst, there were no others to aid Crimson. Many of the vampires had gone into hiding, cutting themselves off from the web that connected all their kind. Others had fallen into deep hibernation to sleep away the impending millennium, until hunger called them from their rest. With the dawn of the twentieth century, vampires were spread thin throughout the world because of Simon's killings. Now the only ones strong enough were standing at the edge of the meadow waiting for him to appear. Leaves rattled like skeletal bones in the slight breeze that had kicked up. Instinct hardened Jacquelyn's nails into razorclaws. She had to be prepared. Simon was over fifteen hundred years old and his madness gave him even greater 11

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strength. Jacquelyn was barely over eight hundred and, when she was created, she had never imagined a day when she would be fighting one of her own kind. Granted, she was strong, but not powerful enough to take on the hunter alone. Her companion was twenty years older and stronger. Crimson had the added advantage of being Record Keeper among their kind. A great mental spider web linked Crimson to all vampires, allowing her knowledge of them as they were born and awareness of their deaths. It was a privilege passed down from the Mother of them all every nine hundred years. Jacquelyn was next in line. She was learning from Crimson a little at a time, taking in some of her blood to gain the power. Jacquelyn could also divine the future and manipulate fire when it was lit. Now she needed all of her strength against Simon. This was to be her final test. Crimson glanced over at her. Her friend's mahogany hair blazed red when the moonlight caught the highlights woven in her long braid. Her porcelain skin was bleached bone white in the light of the full moon that peeked out from behind ominous clouds. Rain was in the air. The atmosphere swelled and weighed on their skins. Jacquelyn gave her friend a small smile, but she saw the hurt in the other vampire's eyes. It would break Crimson's heart to destroy the one she loved, but Jacquelyn had already had so many stolen from her that her heart had been hardened for centuries. "You ready to do this?" asked Crimson. "As I'll ever be."

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"My, my, two birds with one stone. Won't this be fun?" Laughter echoed in the hollow as Simon's voice blew through on the wind of the upcoming storm. Jacquelyn stepped into the clearing, letting her anger and hunger bolster her strength. "Show yourself! Or are you too much of a coward to face us?" Crimson kept her eyes locked on the trees, hunting for her lover. A thunder crack shattered the silence. Jacquelyn found herself knocked to the ground. Jacquelyn stirred and saw her friend had been thrown into a massive oak. She raced to Crimson to be sure she was all right. "You okay?" "He broke a couple of my ribs. Distract him for me for a minute." Jacquelyn nodded. Crimson grimaced against the pain and pulled herself up along the tree trunk. Blood moved to the broken bones mending the breaks. "I'm no coward, little vampire. You shouldn't have come looking for me. You were warned to flee to the New World. You would have been safe." A dark shape sailed through the trees. "You can't force us out of our home. Someone has to stop you from killing your own kind. You stole Andrew from me. You took my child. Haven't you figured it out yet? Your dead bitch-master isn't pulling your strings anymore." Jacquelyn searched the branches. There was no movement anywhere. All the animals were hushed. She looked toward Crimson, who shrugged that she didn't know where he had gone. The wind blew up again. Wetness dampened her skin from the 13

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fine mist blanketing the clearing. Jacquelyn shivered. The night was not going the way she planned. "Aren't we perceptive?" Simon's velvet voice purred in her ear. "But I kill for power. And yes, Kathryn might be dead, but who says that death is the end? Sometimes we move through the cracks." She spun around to find Simon standing before her. He was almost seven feet tall with long, curly black hair and piercing dark eyes tinged purple which held Jacquelyn enthralled. His face was angular with sharp cheekbones. A thin mustache lined his upper lip and made his ivory fangs more pronounced. They stared at one another, moments ticking by like hours. The moon moved silently behind dark clouds. The fragrance of the rain, the pine, and the musk from the fox hunting for his nightly prey filled the air and heightened her senses. Lightning lit the sky, striking a nearby tree. Fire erupted from the dried bark, inflaming the copse with its warmth. Jacquelyn's gaze slid toward Crimson, who was on her feet, her nails curled in readiness. Simon followed her gaze and smiled. Heat flickered against Jacquelyn's flesh. The flames were yards away and slowly being eaten by the sudden downpour, but one instant was all she needed. Energy built within her mind, moving into the center of her palms. She threw the heat at Simon, seeing the illumination in her thoughts. His clothes ignited and a shocked expression passed over his face. His scream pierced the sky. He tore at his shirt with nothing more than his hair and skin charred, but it was enough. Crimson pounced. Her fist punched into his 14

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exposed flesh to find his heart. Crimson's nails only made it halfway into his chest before he threw her off and set his eyes on Jacquelyn. Blood trickled out of the dent above his heart. Strings of flesh and muscle dangled from the open wound, reweaving themselves into his body. Simon had underestimated her once, but not again. The wound was already healing. His smile widened and his fangs extended to full length. Jacquelyn looked around and saw her friend sprawled on the grass unmoving. She focused her attention back on Simon, but he was gone. She turned and started toward Crimson, but she found herself in mid-air. Great pain seized her back and everything went numb. Her breath stopped and the thud in her chest was silent. Death called Jacquelyn, had its hold on her, as she found herself above the meadow looking down. She wasn't ready to depart life. She tried screaming to Crimson that Simon was about to impale her, but Crimson came up quick enough and grabbed Simon around the throat, slamming him into the nearest tree. Jacquelyn smiled. The clearing grew faint and the chill of rain didn't concern her anymore. In her last moment, the vampire witnessed her friend's hand plunge into Simon's chest and come out dripping with blood. In that instant, all of Jacquelyn's woes fell away. A peace she never knew in life infused her soul. The task they had set for themselves was done. She could rest knowing no more of her kind would fall victim to Simon's hands. Satisfied, Jacquelyn surrendered herself to the awaiting light. [Back to Table of Contents] 15

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Part Two Passions Rekindled [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter One "Hey ... Amara." Amara jolted at Aaron's touch. Her whole body vibrated as she came out of her dream. She swallowed her pulse and flexed her fingers a few times before her brain processed that she was awake. She glanced up at her co-worker. Aaron was dressed in tight black jeans and a white T-shirt two sizes too small so his six-pack was visible underneath. His arms were defined from years of weightlifting, and his short bleached hair was spiked with some designer gel. He had a bottle tan, but it didn't matter because all the boys fell for him. Amara ran her gaze over his body, admiring it once more before reminding herself that Aaron was gay. Damn, the good ones are always taken. "What now?" Amara asked, tossing her blackened hair over her shoulder. "Your client's here, girlfriend. You gotta stop driftin' back in time and relivin' your memories." "Yeah ... Well, I can't help it if my brain likes to replay my past lives every fucking time I sleep. Besides, we've gone over this. Vampires don't exist and whatever I'm dreaming about is a mixture of past life shit and my repressed psyche." "Don't lecture me, chickie. If vamps didn't exist then you, girlfriend, wouldn't be sittin' in this chair suckin' the energy out of every person that you read. At least workin' here those fangs stay sharp. You fantasizing about that sexy hunk you were telling me about the other day?" 17

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"You know what I mean, Aaron. And no, I wasn't dreaming about him. This was another one of my recurring ones. That's not the point. There are no such things as coffin-sleepingundead Nosferatu who change into bats and cringe at crosses. Maybe there were once. Maybe that's what I was, but it doesn't matter now because there aren't anymore. I don't do the blood thing. I can't help what I am. I was born this way. Besides, the pricks that sit in my chair stare at my tits more than they listen to my readings. What does it matter if I suck off their energy or not? It lets me get into their heads better. Now, where's the schmuck you booked for me today? It had better not be Rodney again. That guy gives me the creeps. Scott told him not to come around for a few months. You know he's addicted. And there's nothing worse than a psychic junkie. Besides, Rodney makes my teeth ache." Aaron chuckled and winked. "Hey, I don't know what Scott said, but Rodney wants you real bad. Unless you want to starve for the rest of the month, you take him, even if he does gawk at your marvelous rack. Sharpen your fangs, girlie, because here he comes." The bell above the door chimed, calling him into the other room. Amara grunted and gazed through the beaded curtain. Rodney sat on the couch leafing through a magazine. Her client was balding, slightly overweight, and his life never changed. Every time he asked her a question, Amara told him the same answer. Some people were just boring and monotonous. Rodney glanced over at her and caught her eye. She forced a smile, but the guy gave her the willies. He always tipped her twenty bucks for her services, making her 18

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feel like a lowly call girl. Besides, his aura left a gritty taste in the back of her throat. Amara tried not to pull energy from him, but it was second nature when she did readings. She sighed and shuffled her cards, feeling the energy of the Tarot playing over her fingers. This was the first deck that she had ever owned. It provided her with some understanding of her abilities, but along with those talents came the price for telling the future. At twelve, Amara had discovered that she was a psychic vampire. Her energy was depleted faster than normal and had to be replenished by taking in energy from people or the environment. With her developing gifts she learned she could speak to the dead and feel other's emotions. The hunger intensified the older she got until she taught herself how to dreamwalk, sending her astral body out while her physical one was curled in the blankets. Amara discerned how to take in energy by concentrating on people. She saw their auras and felt them tickling on her skin. The more she fed, the more memories of her past lives awakened. They plagued her dreams for years until finally feeding became second nature and her memories drifted away. Lately, however, her memories had returned and one in particular would not leave her in peace. A man with blonde hair and pale skin hovered on the edge of her thoughts. Many nights while she drifted off to sleep, phantom fingers traced her curves and made Amara tremble from the inside out. Sometimes the dreams were clear and sometimes they were only sensations. No matter what they were, they made her bite her lip in need because they were never enough. They always left her on the verge, wanting. 19

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Amara shivered. The dreams of this man had imprinted in her soul. She closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind and focus on her reading, but her mind drifted to the ghostly caresses that came with the dreams. Something's going on. It has to be. My dreams haven't been this strong in years. Who is it that makes me feel this way? Who keeps haunting me? Why can I never remember his name? Amara noticed Rodney hadn't moved and Aaron was distracted by a customer who was inquiring about curses and candles. If Aaron booked anymore appointments for her, she was going to kill him. Amara glanced at the side door, yearning for an escape. A spear of blinding pain pierced her temples. She grabbed her forehead. Cards scattered on her black velvet tablecloth. The last time it had happened one of her friends had been beaten into a bloody pulp because he had gotten on the wrong side of the law. Then again, this only happened with her friends from high school. They all shared a strange bond. She always knew if something bad was happening to them or if they needed to talk to her. Even after going their separate ways, Amara got the sensation that someone was looking over her shoulder. Then, like clockwork, an email appeared or the phone rang. In high school, she had finished their sentences and at times had even seen through their eyes on rare occasions. They were linked because she had memories of past lives with them and they were also psychic vampires. She gripped her head again as her inner vision exploded. The image of a web connecting her friends, a silver thread binding their souls together, lit up. One point flared down to 20

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the depths of her soul. Clutching her chest, she gasped for air. Mentally she took stock of all her friends trying to remember who the pinpoint was. An image of a tall, pale and handsome male came to mind. Trevor. She had not seen him for three years. He would go into hibernation and wouldn't talk to anyone for long periods of time. Something was seriously wrong in the network if she was in this much pain. Trevor and she were more attached than the others. She expected they were an item in the past, so that was why their souls were bound closer together than the rest. Now Amara wondered if the others also felt this agony. She tried locking onto his vibration, but the overwhelming pain wouldn't allow her to get a grasp. Something bad was happening to him. Darkness surrounded her and the air grew scarce. All the cells in her body screamed for oxygen. Her heart stopped for a split second and her temperature plunged. She tried to disconnect herself from Trevor, but her mind was tied to his. Whatever was happening to him, it was a last call for help and he had reached out and grabbed a hold of her. It was instinct. Hands clutched Amara's shoulders and shook her. Cool air worked into her lungs. The agony subsided, but left her weak in the knees while someone helped her back into her chair. Amara's inner vision cleared, leaving the image of the dulled web. Trevor's link was still visible, but something was different. He wasn't dead, but ... well she wasn't sure what. At least he was alive. A small sigh of relief soothed her soul at that realization, but the variation in his energy worried her even though it felt familiar. 21

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"Trying to get out of reading, Rodney?" Aaron chuckled. Amara shook her head. She was shivering. "If only. Look, Aaron, I gotta go. Reschedule Rodney." His brow furrowed. "Scott's not going to like you ditchin' your appointments. What am I going to tell him if he calls?" "Tell him I collapsed and had to go home. I don't know. Make up some shit. I gotta go. Something happened to one of my friends. Now shove off." Amara stood up too fast and found her head spinning. She shook the feeling off and gathered her scattered cards. Before she threw them into her bag, one fell to the floor. The Six of Cups. Great. Emotions are coming back to haunt me. Memories are going to surface that could influence the present. It also meant an attachment to the past. She thought about Aaron's comment about the man who haunted her dreams. Sometimes they felt like nightmares because every time she dreamt about him, she would wake up soaked in sweat. Sometimes her dreams were vivid memories of them making love. Nothing in her real life had ever come close to her dream experiences. No one had ever made her soul sing or caused her body to react to the slightest touch the way he had. Thinking about it made her heart skip a few beats. If only he was real. She glanced at the card once again. Great. Fucking great, she sighed, wondering what was coming back to bite her in the ass. There had to be some kind of connection between her fucked up dreams and what she felt. When it came to predicting her own future, her abilities 22

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sucked. At least this card gave her a guiding bit of insight, even if it meant rehashing some karmic bullshit. She wrapped her coat around herself and then her scarf, hating the oncoming winter. Originally from a small town in Massachusetts, Amara went to college in Boston. Throughout her college years, she had worked as a restaurant hostess and done readings on the side for extra money. She'd hated the restaurant business, but it led up to her managing the place for a couple of years until the town had shut the restaurant down. When she ran out of money, she went back to doing readings. Once outside, Amara cursed herself for moving into the city, braced herself for the frigid air and got into her car to face the traffic jams that started early in Charlotte. After three years of living here in the Bible Belt, she still wasn't used to the fact that the whole city shut down over a small dusting of snow. Luckily, she had found a shop that was hiring psychics. Amara had been surprised there was actually a need for her services. While Amara waited at a light, she replayed her dream. She was in a clearing with a woman whose name she never quite remembered. They were the only two left who could deal with the hunter, but the huntsman had gotten to Amara before she could destroy him. The last thing she saw was her friend plunging a hand into the hunter's chest. The sight of blood always roused something deep inside Amara and made her need to feed unbearable. In these memories, she and this other woman had been vampires, the blood sucking kind. 23

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That was something she couldn't deny. She had come to this conclusion in high school with her friends. She met Trevor and Lydia in a band. Lydia had introduced her to Josh. After many conversations they had come to the assumption they shared a past life together. Whenever they were together, they fell back in time, filling in the gaps in each other's memories. The biggest discovery had been they were vampires, as they had been in her dream, and that was why they were all psychic vampires now. Amara thought about her theory. If we truly are the undead, then our souls are still vampiric. Now we are forced to live within the human condition. That's why I have my psychic abilities and the need to feed on energy. Because they knew each other in the past, when they had been born again they had to find one another. All had acknowledged her hypothesis, but Amara took it to heart. Besides being allergic to sunlight and having to suck people's energy to stay alert, she had a thirst for blood. In high school, their little group had all taken turns cutting themselves and feeding from one another. The sharp sting of the razor dragging across her skin, separating layers of flesh, made her long for the past. The memory of the pain had stayed with her, but her scars had faded over time. Trevor never sliced, saying the practice was barbaric. After a while, Amara put the blades away. When she opened the door to her apartment, she noticed the blinking light on the answering machine. She shut the door and hoped Trevor was all right. The hollow echo of darkness she sensed from him still lingered in her mind. Her 24

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finger traced over the button. She held her breath and then pushed it down. A familiar voice came over the machine. "Amara. Shit. Are you there? Pick up. Fuck. Where are you? Look, it's Lydia. I'm not sure, but I think something happened to Trevor. We were supposed to have dinner the other day and he never showed up. That was two days ago and I haven't heard from him since. He doesn't completely space out on plans. Call me when you get this. Shit—Nathan, I'm on the fucking phone. No, you can't talk. I said—" The machine cut Lydia's screams off. It was unlike Trevor to forget a get-together. If he did blow someone off, at least he called later to explain what happened. He had done it to her a couple of times, but she always forgave him in the end. Where are you, Tre? Amara replayed the message hearing the panic in her friend's voice. She wondered if Lydia had felt the same thing that she had only hours before, but she doubted it. Her friend made it a point to stuff her vampiric urges deep into the shadows of her soul. Lydia tried to live a normal life raising her son. Distance and life events had strained their friendship, but they were still linked. No matter what befell them, their bond had lasted through lifetimes. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Two "What do you mean he's disappeared?" Amara flicked her pen on the edge of the table, looking over the route home. Miles of country highway and mountains lay before her. Just what a girl needed if she broke down or got a flat. "That's exactly what I mean. We were supposed to go out and he left me hanging. Trevor isn't one for conversation, but he's pretty reliable." "You know how he gets. I'm sure he's fine. I got an email from him saying something about a new girl. I bet something came up and he had to run off to fix things with her. You know how insensitive guys can be. Even Trevor has his pitfalls." "Oh, don't give me that bullshit, Amara. I know you felt it, too. And don't tell me you didn't. You're more connected to the rest of us than we are to you. It felt like my fucking head was being cracked open with a jackhammer, and then I was being buried alive or something," Lydia muttered on the other end of the phone. "Felt what? I don't know what you're talking about. Besides, I thought you weren't into the psychic stuff since Nathan was born. You wanted him to choose his own path, or was it just a line you gave me?" "It's not that easy. I tried putting all of it aside. Sometimes things pop up. Shit changes when we get older, but some things don't. I've tried to forget the whole vampire thing, but lately the beast has reared its head and old memories are 26

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dancing like fucking sugarplums into my dreams. You live by them so I know you felt our old links flare to life. Look, I wouldn't have called if I didn't think it was important. I'm scared, okay. Something doesn't feel right. Now get your ass up here." "Lydia, I can't leave my job. I have a life. What the fuck? You expect me to drop everything because Trevor's gone missing. He's a big boy and can take care of himself. You and I both know that." Amara sighed. She tried not to think about the suffocating darkness that had overcome her at the shop. "It's not that simple. There's other shit going on. I can't explain it. But, I-I-I've been dreaming about the past more than usual and—Well, I'm not sure. Hell, I didn't want to tell you because I didn't think it mattered, but Josh is gone, too. Someone around here usually sees him, but he's vanished. He can be the male version of pink fluff, but he doesn't forget about his friends. I'm worried. Please come." "Why didn't you tell me about this earlier? Josh is a free spirit and sometimes forgets that people worry about him." Amara was intrigued that her friend was also having past life dreams. She didn't think Lydia had it in her anymore. When it came to Josh, she wasn't so worried. Mentally, she checked his point on the web and he seemed fine. Nothing had happened to him. "Because I didn't think much of it. It could be a selfproclaimed hunter or something." "Oh, please! Those assholes that pretend to hunt vampires? You know that there's no such thing as the undead. We are the only things around and none of us has 27

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gotten staked. Besides, I would know if Trevor was dead and he's not. His connection is still buzzing inside my skull and so is Josh's. He's probably drunk and shacked up with some chick. Look, I'll come up and poke around. The only thing supernatural we have to worry about is ghosts and I can handle them. What's the worst a few spirits can do? Rattle chains and throw plates if they get pissed! I'm so scared. Even if our memories are true, we died and this is how we ended up. Dreams are just dreams." She lied to her friend, hoping to try and calm her down, but she didn't think it was working. It's only Trevor and Josh being guys. That's it. Nothing more. There is no such thing as coffin-sleeping vampires. "Good. Then I'll see you in a few days." "What? Yeah, I guess." **** Amara threw the rest of her clothes into a duffel bag along with a few books. She had called and told Aaron that she had a family emergency. Scott would be pissed. Oh, well. She wrote a message on the white board for her roommate saying she would call when she arrived in Massachusetts. Amara scanned her room and tossed in a few crystals, her Tarot cards, and the journals she had written in ever since she discovered her condition. It was scary to think how much information the diaries held. They chronicled all her dreams and memories about her past life. Without them, she would have thought she was insane. 28

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At this point, she was on her fourth journal. As a teenager she had written in them almost every night, sorting out all the weird shit she experienced, but when she got older her entries had become more erratic. Now, the accounts were more frequent. How could she remember being a vampire in a past life? How could it direct her life in the future? Maybe she would discover why she craved blood, but denied it and took in energy instead. That habit was a necessary evil. When her impulse for blood arose, she bit the insides of her cheeks until they were raw. Her own blood quieted the addiction, but in the end she fought the deep need in her gut. The intuitive part of her believed that vampires existed, but the rational side told her there was no such thing. Secretly, she coveted the idea that if there were vampires, then she would want to rejoin the fold rather than living the half-life that she presently existed in. Truth be told, she didn't consider herself fully human. Her body was mortal, but her soul was not. Her existence was doomed because she knew there was something beyond the life that she led and the one she touched upon in dreams. She hadn't told anyone that except Trevor. He might have denied what he was, squelching his nature under mortal emotions, but out of her little crowd he was the one she trusted the most. Alarm bells sounded in her mind now that he and Josh were missing. She only hoped that she wasn't getting in too far over her head. **** Cold air blasted Amara's face when she encountered a few flurries in the mountains. Eleven hours had stretched out like 29

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the double yellow lines on the highway, forever. Now the wee hours of the morning loomed before her and she still had six hours to go before she made it back to Shelton. The drive home was a bitch, one she had not done since the prior Christmas. Crossing into New York, she pulled over and got a cup of coffee at the highway Dunkin' Donuts. While she sipped her coffee and stared out the blotchy windows at the few cars moving on the highway, her tired mind drifted back to some of the other memories constantly replaying in her dreams. One consisted of her sitting in front of a glass table inlaid with gold lettering that reminded her of runes. There was a layout of early Tarot cards before her. Even remembering it, the energy of the cards sparked in her palms, sucking up warmth through the Styrofoam. When she scanned the layout, her intuition told her something was coming, but a conversation caught her attention. The woman she spoke with was the same one from the clearing. The woman threw knives into the dining room table then pulled them out, leaving numerous nicks from years of target practice. They lived in a castle large enough to house many other vampires. Amara was one of the few who had a room, along with Trevor in his former incarnation. Trevor had the gold table made especially for her because he thought he could use it to get her into bed. Amara suspected that had never happened. At that particular moment, it was a harmonious time when they hunted the night and spent many evenings debating the future. 30

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Amara took another sip of the coffee and contemplated getting a stale doughnut to ease the gnawing hunger starting in her stomach. Chocolate frosted called her name. Of course that would go straight to my hips, not that I really need it. But yum. Another recollection rolled through her mind which played over and over again in her dreams. Pneumonia had plagued her for years. She'd had a secret admirer since girlhood with blond hair and piercing blue-gray eyes. As she lay dying, he appeared out of the shadows, scooping up her pain-wracked body. In her innocence, she had loved him. Part of her still cherished the ghost in her memory. He promised there would be no more illness. His smile lit her excruciating existence. Even now, her heart broke because none of her boyfriends had ever made her feel safe, protected or so enraptured, as her dream man had. "If only I could bring my dreams to life. Then this whole situation would be resolved. At least I would discover who the best date of my life is." In a glimpse of another past life, the vampire woman had cursed under her breath, saying Amara would never come to enjoy the thrill of the night. She had chided Andrew for not letting her die a human death. Amara paused with the edge of her cup resting against her lips. For the first time she had grasped the name of the man who troubled her dreams and her heart. His identity had always eluded her, balancing on the tip of her brain. The memory continued. A great pain seized her chest. Death claimed her when Andrew bit into her neck. Whatever 31

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part of her yearned for rest was denied. Warm liquid scorched her throat, returning life to the places where there was none. Then time fast-forwarded. They were outside. It was cold and Amara was excited to learn about her new lifestyle. Andrew was there with her and the way he smiled at her lit up her world. Her heart beat faster and her palms began to sweat. It wasn't until she ran from him and he caught her, wrapping her in his arms, pressing his lips to hers, that she knew everything was right in her world. His lips were silky, and he was flushed. The hunger she felt at that moment was not from blood, but from needing him. He pulled away and looked down at her. In the moonlight, his eyes were thundercloud gray and they saw into her soul. She reached up and ran her hands under his shirt. His chest was perfectly sculpted and his nipples pert in the cool air. One of her hands gripped his neck, winding in hay-colored hair so she could pull him back down to her. Her fangs extended. His tongue met them, stroking their length. Amara nipped his tongue, sucking on the sweet copper liquid that flowed down her throat. Her free hand lingered at his waist, playing with the fabric of his pants. Andrew smiled against her mouth, daring her to go further, but the memory always ended there. Figures! Men always leave you hanging, even if they are from a past life. Amara tried to rouse herself for the remaining drive. She noticed that her mouth was filled more with the taste of blood than coffee. The doughnut was definitely off the menu. She ran her tongue inside her cheeks. They were raw again, but 32

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this time her blood-hunger wasn't subsiding. Her energy reserves were weak and sitting here remembering the past was not helping. Amara stifled a yawn and cursed herself for not being able to get some sleep. She could have stopped at a motel, but she was too worried about Trevor, and Lydia would be expecting her. If only she could dreamwalk she would be fine, but that meant sleeping. Now she was depleted from the drive and stress, not to mention a week of readings. She glanced around the small coffee shop. Besides the two people who were as zombified as she was, there was one other customer reading a trashy crime novel. These people would have to do. She breathed in a few times and calmed her racing heart, slipping easily into a trance since she was close to it anyway. In her inner vision the auras of the customers expanded, blaring at her in reds, blues, oranges, and shades of purple. Concentrating on the guy reading the novel, his aura pressed against hers. He was wide awake and healthy, exactly what she needed. A small dose to pick her up and it tasted better than coffee, too. She licked her lips while visualizing herself bending over the man and, in good vampire fashion, biting him on the neck. Once she penetrated his aura, a rush of energy traveled straight to her head. The energy tickled her lips and moved down into the center of her hands, flaring the charkra points there to life. Her whole body became electrified and tingly. Laughter bubbled inside her. It would be so easy to stay with him and drain him until there was nothing left. She had drained a few people in her time, but she had learned to only take what she 33

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needed. Reluctantly she withdrew, pulling herself out of her trance, to focus on the acrid coffee aftertaste left in her mouth. She could siphon energy from anywhere. She preferred to pull from the atmosphere around her, but people were a viable option. Besides, they tasted better. She stretched and threw the rest of her beverage away. She really hated coffee. The beginnings of dawn streaked across the sky. Purple intermixed with orange and danced into red. It was miraculous. The colors of the sunrise always warmed her when she saw it. Something so natural was amazing. She wanted to take her time to experience more of it, but she pulled her sunglasses out to ward her eyes from the brightness. Light sensitivity and sun allergies had plagued her since birth. It was genetic. Another part of the fucking vampire condition. Settling into cruise control, she wondered if there really was a hunter stalking her group of friends. All the hunters she had encountered were wannabe assholes who thought they were big and macho, posting shit e-mails on websites and Internet groups. They talked about the annihilation of the creatures of the night that gorged on virgin blood, trying to instill fear into the real-life vampires. Who are they kidding? Most are punk kids who want to get their rocks off or impress their stupid little friends. None of those postings are real. Besides, Josh and Trevor can handle themselves if a hunter strolls up on them. Trevor used to be a Germanic barbarian who was good with a sword and an axe. I wonder what might have happened if Tre and I had ever 34

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hooked up? Trevor might have a hard exterior but he was always a good friend. Truth be told, she'd always had a crush on the guy in this life and the last. The subject of dating had come up once, but he confessed she was more of a sister to him than anything else. She still wanted to jump his bones if he would let her though. Her mind tumbled over the idea once again, troubling her. Then again, the idea of sex always got her hot and bothered after she had fed. Sex and feeding went hand in hand, and it had been months since she had been laid properly. The last guy she had dated hadn't sated her desires. None of the men had. There was a Goth/S&M community in Charlotte, but it wasn't really her scene. Yeah, being tied up could be fun, and whipping always had a certain appeal, but it wasn't something she wanted in the bedroom. Amara liked boys covered in tattoos, but they never lived up to their potential. The psychic stuff was cool, but they had no clue how to handle it. One guy she had told about being a vampire, from the S&M crowd, came over with a pack of razors the next time they got together. He had thought she had a blood-fetish and would love getting kinky with sharp objects. One of the reasons she stopped drinking blood was it didn't get her hot in a sexual way. It made her hungry, made her want to rip people apart, awakening the beast inside of her. She had quickly booted him out of the house and told him to stay away. This was one reason she had stopped going to the Goth nights. To be honest, she needed sex. Her muscles were cramped, but that 35

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was also from driving. A good fuck would ease her tension and she could feed at the same time. The attraction she felt with guys never lived up to what she experienced in her past life memories. Maybe that was her problem. Maybe her heart was stuck on someone who was a ghost. She was doomed to expect her suitors to live up to her inhuman expectations. If she looked hard enough, she might find the one she had dreamed about. He alone could make her yearn for more just by saying her name. Who else make her shiver from the soft caress of his hand running along her jaw? He was always there knowing the right places to touch to make her moan. His skin was soft and his chest sculpted enough to let her feel the muscles ripple under his skin. Lips like silk kissed her eyelids when she cried and strong arms held her when he plunged into her, causing her to cry out for more. Thinking of him made her wet. Luck had played a key role in reuniting her with her group of friends in high school. She doubted she would be lucky enough to find the guy who ignited her heart and body in a past life. A few hours from Shelton, Amara blasted the radio, listening to a Type O Negative CD. The cool mountain air settled on her face to cool her body while the lead singer's deep, hypnotic voice twisted her into his spell as he sang about a forlorn vampire taken away from the day. Amara sucked on her lip, letting the soothing blood slide down her throat, easing the gnawing hunger that had begun to smolder deep in her soul. **** 36

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Amara sat in Lydia's living room watching Nathan play with a stuffed dog. She and her friend had already gone through the niceties of catching up. Now silence hung in the air. The only background noise came from the television playing a morning news program. The apartment was lived in, but cozy. "Any leads on Trevor? I dragged my ass up here so I hope you've heard something." Amara studied her friend. Her face was still round and cheerful. Her hair was blonde and streaked blue and green. Her hazel eyes held more wisdom from raising her son alone, but there was something different about Lydia that she couldn't pinpoint. Her energy was darker, denser. It made her friend harder to read. Amara shrugged it off, blaming her hunger and the lack of sleep. Lydia reclined in a futon across from her. Amara gave her credit. Her friend had shut off all her abilities and tried to be ordinary. "Nothing yet. I was hoping that you could find him using the connections that we have. You know, use the great psychic mojo." "If it were that fucking easy, don't you think I would've told you over the phone? Jesus Christ! You call me up, tell me Trevor has gone missing along with Josh, and expect me to wave my magic vampire wand and poof. What the hell am I supposed to think?" "Mara—" "What?" "Mind the swearing in front of the kid. Okay?" Lydia's gaze darted between her and the child. 37

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Amara stretched, trying to ease the pressure on her back from driving so long. "Sorry. Look, I know you're concerned. It's more complicated than that. The link that we all share is still active, but I can't pinpoint locations. I only know if all of you are okay. Trevor's and Josh's points are still active, but their energy is off. If they were dead then the threads between us would vanish, and they haven't. I don't know what else to tell you. Call me if you hear anything. I'm tired and need a place to crash. Besides, my ass is numb. Seventeen hours in a car will do that." "Where are you going?" Lydia sat poised on the end of the futon. When Amara got up to leave, her friend stood and put a hand on her arm. Amara needed to get away for a while. The expectations her friend was putting on her were giving her a headache. As she examined the web, more shivers ran through her at the emptiness lingering around Trevor and Josh. The mystery would not be solved until she could find them. Amara shook herself from her inner vision. With Lydia touching her, it made her hunger worse. It was bad enough that she was looking at little Nathan like lunch. "I'll be around. I'm sorry. I haven't slept and I'm hungry. Give me a break. It's not every day I get a searing migraine from one of my friends disappearing." "Wait. Do you have to go so soon? There's so much to talk about. It's been years. I do have stuff that you can eat, ya know." "Trust me. I doubt you want me eating your kid. I know there's a lot to catch up on, but honestly I gotta go." 38

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A breeze blew through the house and pushed the door open. Amara shook from the sudden chill. Lydia glanced into the kitchen. "Oh. That kinda hungry. Sorry, my son's not on the menu. Come on, stay a bit longer." "I can't. I'm going stir crazy. I'll come tomorrow and we can catch up." Amara stepped toward the door. Nathan tugged on Amara's shirt. She smiled and rubbed her hand over the little boy's head. He gave her a dirty look. Lydia put her arm around him protectively and gave her a troubled smile. "Tomorrow it is then." Amara got to the door. "Mar, you know I wouldn't have called you if I didn't think it was important. I'm scared. If it's a hunter, I don't want him coming after me or you. I have Nathan and he's normal. He's the only normal thing in my life. I want to make sure he's going to be safe. I would do anything to keep him safe." Amara gave her friend a quick hug. "I know and he's adorable. If I discover anything, I will let you know. I doubt it's a hunter. I'm telling you the boys are off doing some guy shit. I'll try searching the stars or some psychic bullshit. Maybe I can catch that man of yours and we can go out for dinner or something." Lydia smiled, wiped a tear away and nodded. Fear rolled off Lydia and weighed heavy on Amara's aura. It was understandable she had two friends in the same group disappear, then her head was cracked open by a mental connection she had all but forgotten. It explained the darkness Amara had felt surrounding her friend earlier. She 39

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would be scared, too, and hoping she wasn't next. Besides, Nathan didn't need to be introduced to the demons of the world, even if there were maniacs running around wielding stakes. She gave her friend one more quick hug and left. Amara drove to a spot not too far from Lydia's old house and pulled into a gravel parking lot. She got out a blanket and threw on her sweatshirt. Making her way down a worn hill, she listened to the water rushing over the manmade dam of the Blackstone River. Years ago, Amara had always come here seeking solitude. Now, she needed time to breathe and be around the natural elements colliding together. In that cascade, there was a tumult of energy she could tap into. It would ease the headache and fatigue threatening to overtake her. To surf the connections between her and Trevor, she had to be grounded and alert. She threw the blanket down and sat surrounded by high, dead grass, away from prying eyes. The only noise was from the river itself and the animals. Amara shut her eyes and took a few calming breaths, feeling the first sensations of trance descending over her. Her head felt light and the rest of her body tingled. It was hard to breathe. Her heartbeat slowed. The darkness behind her closed eyes lit up. Ropes spun from gossamer were tied around her waist, connecting her to four doors, one more door than the ropes. Amara examined the openings. All were sealed tight. She had no idea where the fourth led. When she tried moving toward it, a wall of soft gauze-like energy kept her away. It was not meant for her to explore, at least not yet. Frustrated, she turned toward the other doors. Two of them were open. She placed her hands on one of the threads. 40

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Immediately Lydia's vibration ran up her arms. Amara smiled, moved to another, and sensed Josh. Suddenly she was giddy. I can fly, she giggled. Yup. That was Josh. Always thinking he was invincible. Why are you always such a pain in my ass? Ever since high school, you disappear enough to make me think you're dead and then there you are again. Rising from the grave. When she touched Trevor's, power fired up her skin, giving her the worst headache she'd ever experienced. Her fingers tingled from the sensation and her arms were beginning to feel again. Her inner vision cleared from the jolt. Gritting her teeth, she focused on her link to Trevor. She had always snuck into his head, even when all his doors were bolted with iron. The key was never hidden from her. On her nightly hunts, she checked in on him. Lately she had not been doing that, but she was going to get through the block on his mind even if she had to ram it headfirst. The coldness of the earth moved up her spine when Amara centered herself once more. She had to keep herself anchored to the world she was from so she could explore the world she was in. Energy swirled to life, when she put her palms on the ropes again it pulsated against her flesh. The vibration tried to thrust her off, but she held on and moved along the thread until she came to the closed door. Amara pulled with all her strength. The door flew open and then swung shut. She tugged once more and the room filled with pictures. She was in Trevor's memories. She held a broadsword, fighting the same man who had killed her. 41

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Simon. Trevor and Simon weren't fighting out of hatred, but friendship. Adrenaline filled her while the battle continued until Simon's face went blank. A sharp cut moved across her throat and she couldn't breathe. Another slice across her stomach made the darkness consuming. There was a vision of recent times when she and Trevor had stood in a cemetery. They had gone there to ghost hunt and were talking about the past. Part of him believed his memories of being a barbarian and a vampire were true, but the other part thought it was just fantasy. The scene switched again. It was daylight, right at this moment. She was seeing Trevor in a room made largely of stone with bricks large enough to have been mortar stones from a castle. The area was sparsely furnished with a large fireplace at one end, bookcases, and a few rugs scattered around the stone floor. A couple of tables and electric lamps were strewn about. A settee made of red velvet was the centerpiece of the room. Amara held her breath, amazed at being a voyeur in her friend's head. Trevor looked at his companion. Her long reddish-brown hair was caught up in a braid. The woman wore a red skirt that flared out showing ballerina-like boots with leather straps wrapped round her calves. The boots were scuffed and slightly muddy. A black corset accentuated an ample chest. Amara caught the slightest hint of lust while Trevor stared. It was an interesting attraction, but one in which he would never indulge. Under the confusion and desire, she felt Trevor's deep friendship with this other woman. Who is she? She didn't 42

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seem Trevor's type. Amara turned her attention back to details and saw her cupid lips turned up in a sneering smile. Dark eyes flecked with green and crimson reflected the nearest light. Amara couldn't hear what the two said, but the longer she stared at her, something snapped in her mind. Her dream swam through her mind. It couldn't be. I know you. Oh, God, is it possible? This stranger was the spitting image of the woman she had remembered for years. The woman stopped browsing through her book and looked at Trevor. Mischief lingered in her eyes when she smiled, but the woman didn't drop the look. Amara realized she wasn't grinning at Trevor. She knows that I'm eavesdropping. Their eyes met for a split second. When they did, Amara sensed a connection with the mysterious stranger that went deeper than the one she shared with Trevor. Before Amara could explore it, a whoosh of air forced her backward, severing the link from Trevor's mind. On the breeze, Amara heard something. Jacquelyn. The name that haunted her memories. Her name once upon a time. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Part Three Awakenings [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Three Amara came back to herself with a quick jump and swore her heart had stopped. Her whole body trembled. The woman had thrown her out of Trevor's mind. He would have nudged her out, not slammed the door in her face. The cord that bound Amara to her friend still vibrated from the mental intrusion. She had never felt such power before. She thought of the name she'd heard. Jacquelyn. One puzzle solved, and still many more to be answered. Why was all of this happening now? Amara threw off the blanket, more awake than she realized. In the trance state, she must have absorbed plenty of energy. The night hummed around her. The running river blasted through her veins. The wet scent of the earth and grass stung her nose while the sounds of the frogs and other animals sang around her. She ran her tongue over her lips and snagged it on phantom fangs. An unquenchable thirst unraveled in her stomach, churning it into knots that made her stop and catch her breath. It was worse than any cramps she had ever had. Her head spun. If she truly was a reborn vampire, then she was more evolved because she survived on energy rather than blood. Amara also possessed a small healing ability. Nothing spectacular, but she could get rid of headaches, warm people's hands, and ease mild pains. The blood-hunger was always with her, but it had been years since her thirst was this bad. 45

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Closing her eyes against the pain, she willed it away, telling herself that she was better than the hunger. She had beaten her addiction, but a rare steak with red wine sure sounded good. After years of battling her desire, she had discovered these things were not substitutes, but they staved off the need. After a moment the spasms eased and the hunger receded. Amara took in a deep breath and got her bearings. Her need for physical food surged forward. She took her blanket and folded it while more questions and answers obscured her mind enough that she didn't know where to begin. She checked the time. It wasn't too late. An hour later, she sat in one of those chain restaurants offering everything from fajitas to steak. The waitress had asked Amara twice to be sure when she said that she wanted it rare as she sipped her wine. She liked it mooing, so just run it through a warm kitchen. Now the blood-hunger had faded to a mere whisper. Three journals of bizarre incidents that involved vampires, psychic phenomena, and anything else weird that she had chronicled lay open on the table. The past life memories had started out being bits and pieces, and came naturally in her dreams. Now she scrutinized the pages, laughing over some of the entries, but others were more important. Sometimes she wondered if she had gone crazy, but with the recent events, Amara figured she hadn't. Something had awoken inside her while in Trevor's mind, something that she couldn't put her finger on yet. What she had been living through was real, and it had stemmed from that woman shoving her out of Trevor's thoughts. Of that, she was sure. 46

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She ate the last of her steak, sopping up the blood with a piece of roll, and then she ordered a slice of cheesecake while she mulled over her thoughts. Amara recalled glimpses of the woman from Trevor's mind. A memory surfaced. It was one she had already written down. They were chatting. Their reflections were the main focal point, but Amara never saw her own image. The woman was dying her hair blue, but the conversation was never clear. There were only hints and feelings of friendship. Most of these fragments were fuzzy recollections that she could never place. Amara nibbled on her piece of cheesecake and stared at the blank page of her journal. After a few more bites and another glass of wine, she looked over the entry she'd penned. Who is she? Is she really a vampire? No. That's impossible. Science doesn't dictate that there could be any kind of immortal being. Here I am, and yes, I'm psychic and can see ghosts, but I accept that. It's a little hard to believe that vampires, real vampires, are walking around. I've always acknowledged the past life aspect and coming back with a soul-group, but damn. I'm probably losing my mind. What if this whole scenario is real? What if? What if ... God, who fucking knows what if? If she's real, then how did she get involved with Trevor? How would she know me? How could she have gotten into Trevor's mind? If she's real, does she sleep in a coffin and have no reflection? Was I really Jacquelyn? Is the memory of Andrew something that she had a huge role in because she was there, too? 47

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All of this is insanity. I'm twenty-fucking-seven years old and I'm thinking like a teenager who wants a tall, dark, handsome stranger to sweep me off my feet and take away all of my bad dreams. I want the vampire in a silk cape to bend over my bed, give me his immortal kiss, and turn me into a creature of the night. How am I going to take care of anything when I can barely take care of myself and I daydream about shit that happened to me centuries and lifetimes ago? Whoopee! I have these great memories, but how are they helping me now? Do they really mean anything? Of course they don't! It would make anyone who picks up this fucking journal think I'm insane. Why can't life be easier? I can deal with being a psychic vampire for the rest of my days, even when I'm old and toothless. I'll sneak up on the old men in the rest home and suck their energy through a straw. Part of me wants to believe that the past is real and to stop asking questions, but the reality is I'm human and vampires are supposed to be fairytales. Why has Trevor gone missing? How is Josh mixed up with all of this? How is this going to turn out? It had better not mean me, bent over some guy's knee, with a broken back this time. I am so not going out that way. Not again. Her fork hovered over her plate while she gazed outside into the parking lot, watching the people in traffic going home to normal lives. The supernatural never touched them. The only thing that roused these people out of their daydream lives was the occasional jaunt to the local movie theater to watch a horror flick. Then their hearts would skip a few beats, 48

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their palms would sweat and that sweet, cold edge of fear would travel up their spines. Humanity lived in a bubble. They were all monkeys, or at least that's what Josh used to call them. They had no idea another world surrounded the one they lived in. They never truly got involved with others, never wanted to explore the horizons of where their minds could take them. Amara scanned the entry again. What had she been thinking? The notion that she wasn't exactly human always sat on the edge of her mind. She had heard all the debates of where vampires evolved from. Everyone had a different opinion. The one common thread was that she, like the rest of the online vampires, didn't feel like the garden variety mortal. "Can I get you anything else?" Amara looked up from her journal. The waitress stared at her, waiting for her to respond. She took stock of the pimpled, pink faced, blonde teenager, feeling sorry for her. This girl was completely human. She had no idea of what was out there. To her ghosts and vampires existed only in movies. I've never been her. How could I be when I remember times when there was magick? To call storms, to race on the wind with my mind, and have fire spark to life at a thought? Magick was the force that ruled the world when science wasn't even an idea. "No thanks. Just the check." The waitress grunted and grabbed the empty plates. Amara watched her walk toward the kitchen and realized how much times had changed. 49

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Humans had once walked hand in hand with the mystical until they thought to bend the world to their will. Other vampires reincarnated into mortal lifetimes to experience the world through different eyes. The world changed. Those who were born again had no access to what they were, so they found themselves gaining more humanity and forgetting their pasts. They became psychic or natural witches until their powers were only found in the mundane world. Some were burned at the stake, marked for demons, and tortured, all because they had a knack for healing. It was the floating argument on the Net. The Internet enabled her to meet other vamps who had lived numerous human lifetimes. She was surprised at returning so quickly because her last embodiment was only a century ago. In some, the vampire didn't awaken until the twenties or early thirties. In others, involvement with other vampires was needed to jumpstart the process. With her, it had been a combination of puberty and emotional stress that triggered her metamorphous. And she hadn't lived a human lifetime in between. Being psychic enabled her to remember her past life memories. It was the layers of the soul that made her what she was. With all the dreams, memories, conversations with friends, the ramblings, and the glimpses of ghosts, they couldn't all be delusions, could they? Amara took the last swig of her wine and stared into the night, longing for it to be simpler, longing to find someone to give her one clear, simple answer. She didn't need this crazy shit. Things had finally started to come together. Life was great. She hated North Carolina, but loved the weather. Her 50

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job was good. Scott was thinking about making her a partner in the shop. In a thirty-mile radius it was the only place that supplied pagan materials to the community. She and her roommate got along great. Delilah was one of her only friends with no interest in the occult. Delilah worked all night and Amara worked all day. They hung out once in a while when their paths crossed, watching reruns of Law and Order, sharing a cheap pepperoni pizza. Amara was even dating a guy who could end up being a potential relationship. Amara shook her head. She wasn't here to think about her would-be relationship, or how Delilah was getting on. She had to focus on Trevor. Obviously, he was alive. She had bitten the bullet, taken Lydia's advice, and followed the connection that linked them all. She'd never sat down and meditated on the web for a long period of time. She'd always followed it in dreams, or briefly while conscious, to make sure that everyone was alive and kicking. Now pondering the day's events, part of her wished that she was blissfully ordinary, but she hadn't been that since she was twelve. Maybe she had never been normal at all. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Four Her mind drifted back in time, she'd begun to fully waken to what she truly was. Amara didn't know what was happening to her. Whatever it was, she knew it would influence the rest of her life. She hated the first few years of her awakening, because she had no control. In the long run, this time of self discovery also led her to her friends, which was a good thing. Yet, when the hunger first claimed her, she couldn't know how much it would change her life. **** For a year, Amara listened to her mother bitch about the two children who shared their apartment. They were eight and six, way too young for her taste. Eric, their father, was her mother's boyfriend. Although they'd been dating for almost a year, Eric and his children had only moved in six months before. Amara couldn't stand the guy. Eric thought he was the ruler of the house and he let his kids run wild. Mumbling under her breath, she got dressed for school. "Thank God I don't have to worry about those little monsters for now. At least while I'm in school there won't be any more arguing. When I get home, I'm going to do my homework and forget about those little devils Eric thinks can do no wrong." Gathering her things, she stepped out into the bitter cold, with the wind stealing her breath and turning it to ice when she exhaled. She hated the onset of winter. Even her room had a perpetual draft. The plastic over the windows didn't 52

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help keep out the chill nor did it keep at bay the dark presence she felt contained in her closet. That only came out at night, and she figured it too wanted to get away from the kids. It was so dark she could barely see crossing the street to her bus stop. The world was lit only by the occasional street lamp or turning car; the moon hung peacefully over head. It was one of her favorite times even though she hated getting up so early. Staring up at the silver orb, a longing that she had never known before opened in her innocent heart. It caught her breath more than the cold chill. Something inside of her was stretching its wings, answering a distant and forgotten prayer. As the night grew dimmer, Amara swore she felt the sunlight crawling over her skin like ants. Every place the sun touched burned. Her eyes had grown more sensitive to the brilliance as well. How could she tell her mother the sun was driving her nuts and light gave her a headache? Her mother didn't need any more worries. It was bad enough she was close to a nervous breakdown. Amara had to worry about her mother more than she worried about herself. The sun pushed over the horizon with the first lick of its rays. She winced against the brightness and shut her eyes quickly while she made her way over the wet rubber floor of the bus. Wishing she could shut out the smell of old tuna, sweat-laden gym socks, and the undertone of corn chips as easily as the sun. Flopping down on the ripped green vinyl seat to watch the scenery through dirt-stained windows, the sun still hurt her eyes, but through the haze it was better. 53

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The bus lurched forward. Another kid climbed up the stairs and the driver closed the door, retracting the flashing stop sign. Amara licked her lips. Her teeth felt sharper than before. A knot formed in her stomach and when the boy got to her seat, Amara was hungry again even though she had eaten breakfast. Her throat felt parched. At school, even after getting a snack from the cafeteria, she was still famished. All day the hunger expanded into every part of her being. Cramps formed low in her stomach, and worked upward. It was hard for her to think. By the end of the day when she had to face the sun, she barely made it to the bus without puking. She kept her eyes shut on the way home, so glad she was the third stop from her school. She ran up the stairs to pass quickly through the perpetual chill in the downstairs foyer caused by the little ghost girl. Then she would close herself in her room to get busy on her homework or practice her flute. At least her practicing would drown out the fighting children. Making her way up to her room, the house was quiet, a rare thing. So she took advantage of it and raided the fridge. In her room she ate her snack. The stomach cramps didn't ease and the empty feeling of hunger remained to torment her. Her pounding headache was now a dull throb. As time passed footsteps and slamming doors were heard because the other inhabitants had arrived. Sometimes Amara was left alone for days on end with Eric and his kids. She couldn't stand that her mother left her. Normally, Amara relied on herself to get through the days. Amara ate dinner when Eric called and played nice. 54

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Amara gazed outside. It was dark and as the sun set, the knots lessened and her headache had disappeared. When the midnight blue of the horizon descended into twilight, her body attuned to the changing time. Her tongue ran over her teeth and caught on the tip of a sharp tooth. A sly smile turned her lips as the moon rose and the night called. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Five Amara shivered from the chill in the air. The wind was crisp with the smell of snow. She fished in her backseat for the wool coat she had worn only once, during a short cold spell in Charlotte. It was sun bleached, there were tears in the lining and two missing buttons, but it would keep her warm. Why did Trevor have to go missing in the middle of fucking winter? It was only the middle of November, but it was cold. She was used to it being seventy degrees with sun and thunderstorms. Earlier that morning she had tried contacting Trevor, but no matter how much she battered her mind against the door, it wasn't opening back up. Now her instincts told her nothing. After driving around and getting her bearings, she went back to her old high school. The building used to be her home away from home. She used to stow herself away in the auditorium until band practice on certain days or make sets for the plays that never got put on. It had been quiet, except for the harmless ghost that lived in the prop room above the stage. She glanced at the teenagers smoking cigarettes sitting on the concrete barriers blocking off one end of the parking lot. She and Trevor used to sit there along with the rest of the outcasts. Being nostalgic wasn't getting her anywhere. Her friends weren't here and the memories that were had come and gone. 56

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After an hour of taking back roads and getting lost several times, she finally found herself at the old cemetery they used to roam hunting for ghosts. Amara pulled in behind a walled up crypt. Once when she had come here with Josh, they had traipsed into the adjoining woods. They found a large rock and sat, watching the drooping sun, with the wind singing songs to anyone who wanted to listen. The energy in the forest had played between two straight trees, while all the others were crooked. The energy had created a natural vortex between two worlds interplaying with each other at certain times of the day. She had felt at home that day with him. Everything had been so still, and in that moment of silence, she had understood Josh without uttering a word. If only we could rewind the clock, those memories could last longer. The things that seem so important are nothing more than a mark on the surface of life. Life was so much easier back then. I didn't have to worry about work, or money. Just the future. We were so in tune and believed everything we remembered about the past was true. Maybe it is. Maybe what I saw in Trevor's thoughts was nothing more than my overgrown imagination. Maybe the woman was my mind projecting shit into my meditation. You know that isn't true, a male voice answered her thoughts. "Who said that?" she asked of the twilight shadowed graveyard. The only things answering her were the twinkling candles on the plots. She turned around scouring the landscape for the unseen voice. You know who I am, Jacquelyn. 57

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The voice had a familiar ring to it. The name spoken caressed her insides as though she should have responded to it. Scanning the surrounding cemetery, Amara found nothing except the ghost who was trapped in the crypt underneath her. Amara gazed up at the large tower next to her. It was deserted. Her eyes inspected the outlined gravestones, enshrouded by the dark, only illuminated by votives. They reminded her of ghost lights that hung suspended in the air. She had found burial grounds eerie as a child, but now they were her friends. Once spirits realized she heard them, they never shut up, but she could turn down their volume whenever she wanted. Now she only saw the silhouette of the Jesus statue gazing at her. The effigy had a mind of its own. If she watched it carefully, his head moved. You search for me with human eyes. Remember what you are. Who you are. "Look, I'm not up for games. Who the fuck are you? You say that I should know you, that I should recognize you from somewhere. How can I do that if I can't see you? I know you're alive. Stop hiding. If you have something to say, then show yourself. If this has anything to do with Trevor, I swear I'll hurt you, even if I have to dig up every grave to do it." A soft chuckle passed on the wind and in her mind. She sighed and looked around again, but her eyes could only adjust to so much darkness. Her night vision was good, but even with the cemetery illuminated by moonlight, and the errant candles, it was nearly impossible to see more than five feet in front of her. 58

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I would love to see you try and hurt me, Amara. You are more spirited now than you were then. Don't you remember the past? You wore a different face and were called by another name. You look about the same, though. You're a little feistier, but I like that. A hint of amusement tinged the stranger's voice. "How do you know my name? Where the hell are you?" A headache began pounding in her temples. She shut her eyes against it, trying to will it away. She took a few breaths. A light trance descended on her. When she opened her eyes, her vision was focused, everything around her was bursting with color. The candlelit gravestones were readable; she could even make out the grains in the granite. The blades of grass were a dull green under the moonlight. Glancing into the woods, she saw a shadow leaning against a tree, staring right at her, waiting for her to make the next move. The figure was out of her range so she only saw the shape of the man who spoke to her. A flashback overtook her. In her past, she was a child standing by a figure peeking out from behind a tree. A man with blond hair and pale skin had smiled at her. He was some kind of angel. This memory wasn't from this lifetime. There were other memories she couldn't quite grasp. Ones in which she had feelings for him. Without warning, her thoughts pushed her backward. His breath was hot on her ear. His tongue traced the line of her neck. Amara held in a moan from the sensation of his hands trailing up her calf, under her skirt, searching out her moist depths. She was helpless against him. He had total 59

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control over her, only because she let him when she surrendered to his manipulations. As she remembered, her nipples hardened. She breathed faster. It seemed he was next to her, doing what she remembered. The night air was cool on her exposed flesh, but she was burning up from needing him. It had been so long since they had been together. Her fists clenched against the memory. Her heart sped up and she tried not to be caught up in it. But it was impossible. She felt the hardness of his length against her backside. His free hand cupped her breast, fingering her nipples. Her eyes fluttered shut. His teeth nipped at her flesh. Soft hands ran the length of her belly. Amara bit down on her tongue to keep herself in the present. She had to stay alert. Through all of this, she knew he was the one her soul had locked onto. He'd called her Jacquelyn, the name from her dreams. She fought to sort through the mental block and the memories she possessed of this man. Damn it! She had read about him in her journals. Her mind was still overwhelmed from the squelched passion that built in her from the vague recollection. Finally, she dug deep through the emotions he elicited in her and a name appeared in the haze. Andrew. Very good. I'm surprised you put it all together so quickly. For some the awakening process takes years, because their true identities are hidden underneath lifetimes of humanity. But you've known what you were since the day you were born. 60

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"What are you talking about?" The volume of the cemetery's residents was growing louder. Amara diverted her attention back to the graveyard but saw nothing unearthly. She started toward the figure who held her transfixed. Moving down the hill, the stranger's thoughts were merging with hers, just as her thoughts had merged with Trevor's. Only this was different. He had access to her memories and she wasn't used to that. She tried to push him out of her mind. The atmosphere in the graveyard changed, breaking her concentration. The spirits rose quickly, vying for her attention. They pushed the man out of her mind momentarily and made her aware that the phantoms were screaming. What are they saying? She looked toward him. Hairs rose on the back of her neck. The place had changed. It was creepier in a way she couldn't explain. It was the expectation someone would jump out and get her, or fear the serial killer was coming after her in a horror movie. It didn't feel safe. She glanced at Jesus. He was still staring. Cars whizzed by on the nearby road. The night was becoming dangerous, but Amara couldn't see the threat. The stranger still shared her mind, but wasn't making it a point to intrude, rather he was listening to her every move. She was surprised that he couldn't understand the spirits through her. I never had the gift of talking to the dead. You were always more powerful. Maybe that was one reason I was so jealous of you all the time, because I knew I would lose you once you realized how truly gifted you were. In the end, my 61

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worst fears came true. Honestly, I never thought I would see your beautiful face again. But here we are. "Whoever you are, get the fuck out of my head! I don't know what the hell you want with me. Why are you following me? How do I know you? What the hell are you talking about?" Listen. Don't you hear that? "Hear what?" Leave now. I don't t know what the ghosts are saying, but you have to get out. Run! "Like I'm going to listen to you. You won't even come out from the woods. The ghosts might be telling me to be careful of you. How do I know you're not some pervert who thinks because you're telepathic you can fuck with my head. Piss off!" Amara turned her back on the figure, irritated that he had the audacity to tell her what to do. She always hated that. She didn't need anyone dictating her life. Forgive me for showing up this way. I never intended to come to you in this manner. I had hoped I'd meet you on a more intimate basis so we could get reacquainted. Now is not the time for you to be condemning me or reminiscing. You have to listen. Whether you believe me or not, you must leave, quickly. Run! The command triggered her feet. Before she knew it she ran down the hill with her brain on overload. Everything that he'd said, and memories from the past, floated in her head. Amara would have to consult her journal to make sure what 62

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she recalled was true. This was not the most convenient time for her memory to upload. Damn it. She fumbled for her keys. Panic had set in. The wails of the dead told her the same thing the mysterious stranger had. Danger. Run. Escape before you join us. She tried to keep her hands from shaking as she fumbled her key into the lock. A bad experience in a burial ground had never happened before. An overwhelming sense of dread as if something didn't want her there wasn't unusual, but she'd never been forced to seek safety inside her car. Breathing a sigh of relief, her key slid into the ignition. She jumped when the radio blared on. Amara broke out laughing at her own terror. Leaning her forehead on the cool leather of the steering wheel, she felt the sensation of urgency fading. The shit with Trevor going missing had really shaken her up. There was no way she had been talking to anyone. She had imagined it. It was probably some strong phantom trying to fuck with her. A nervous chuckle escaped her lips as a wave of exhaustion swept her into its arms. Sitting here at the graveyard was not helping her to find Trevor. She could visit all of her old haunts, but she might never find him. From his mind he was somewhere in a large estate. He didn't seem to be captive, but it bothered her that his energy felt different. Amara flipped the radio off and listened to the ghosts who had all but gone silent. She bet they were laughing at the joke they had played on her. Ha, ha. Run the psychic out of the cemetery. Real funny guys. If there was a way to hurt the dead, trust me, you wouldn't be laughing. 63

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Amara put her hands on the wheel, automatically turning the lights on. She hoped the illumination might reveal the figure in the woods, if there was one. Between the ghosts and her hunger going off the charts lately, it was probably a figment of her fucked up imagination. The lights hit the walled up crypt first. She saw nothing among the trees. Her eyes were playing tricks on her. She started to crank the ignition, when a shadow crossed in front of her headlights. A man with a sword, a very big sword, stood before her vehicle. Long dark curly hair framed his non-expressive features. His skin was pale in the headlights and his eyes were dark and trained on her. A trench coat billowed around him. A shiver of terror moved down her back. She knew this man. He had been in her dreams for years. She had recently seen him in Trevor's mind. Simon. What the fuck! Amara stared, dumbfounded, wondering what kind of sick game she had stepped into. This guy was real. He wasn't a specter who would evaporate in front of her. Without thinking, she stepped on the gas and pushed the car into reverse. Her car accelerated backward and she swerved, rear-ending the ever-staring statue of Jesus. The bumper crunched against the marble. Her eyes never left the nutcase with the blade, and his expression only grew more gleeful from reveling in the fear he'd caused. Amara slid the gearshift into drive as the guy suddenly landed on her hood. The distance he'd jumped wasn't humanly possible. He settled, cat-like, with the edge of his sword scraping on the metal. It vibrated in her car and into her ears. Her hands gripped the 64

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wheel. Sweaty palms made the leather wheel cover difficult to grasp and her hands hurt from the pressure. Her assailant met her eyes. They sparkled in the yellow light and grew blacker than thunderclouds. Her mind went blank and she realized he was trying to take hold of it. Before he could, she turned the volume up on the spirits, projecting them along the current her attacker had opened between her mind and his. Their connection snapped. He seemed dazed. It was long enough for her to shift into second and floor it, pitching him forward against her windshield. Amara screamed when the guy balanced on one knee while he plunged his sword through the glass. The blade sliced her upper arm all the way to the muscle. She hissed at the pain. Her assailant pulled the sword back and licked the blood from the edge. Amara floored it in the hopes the guy would fall off, but he didn't while she tried to both stay on the uneven road and avoid hitting any gravestones. The maniac raised his weapon and was about to thrust the blade down into her engine when there was a blur and the man flew off her car. She didn't wait around to see what happened. As she moved toward the entry gate, in her rearview mirror, the guy who'd been on her hood had his head against a large tombstone and there was another man with blond hair on top of him. When she peeled out, a semi blared its horn and screeched on its brakes. Her head spun and her arm burned where the blade had kissed it. Amara's whole body quaked. She was in way over her head. This included more than 65

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Trevor and Josh. She had to get to the bottom of it or she might not be around to find out at all. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Six After Amara drove back to her motel, on the outskirts of town, she sat down on her bed and pulled off her shirt, to look at her gash in the mirror. It had stopped bleeding, but it still hurt. She watched the water run pink while she cleaned out the wound. It didn't look that bad. She probably should have gone to the police or even the hospital, but who would believe there was a guy wielding a sword in the graveyard? For a few minutes, she watched the rose-colored water swirl down the drain. Her stomach lurched forward and she lost everything she had eaten. There was more to these events than Trevor and Josh disappearing, Lydia being concerned, and memories haunting her sleep. The situation involved the guy she'd encountered in the woods, it revolved around her friends and she had just been sucked in. What did it all mean? Lydia had mentioned having her memories frequenting her dreams. Were the rest of them experiencing the same thing? Amara pulled her cell phone out and dialed Lydia's number. It rang and rang and then went to voice mail. A knot of worry expanded in her stomach. She grabbed her keys, hopped in her car, and drove across town. A light was on in the apartment, but she didn't see anyone moving. She knocked. No one answered. Finally, she tried the knob and found the door was unlocked. Amara crept in slowly. She checked the living room first and found nothing amiss. 67

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Everything looked fine in the kitchen. Then she made her way into the hallway and into Nathan's room. The window was open with the curtains blowing in the breeze. The bed sheets were strewn about and stuffed animals were scattered around the floor. Orange crayon marks were drawn on the wall and looked hastily wiped off. Amara inspected the eggshell wall noticed there was blood splattered on it and the door. She opened the closet, finding nothing but a full hamper and dirt-caked shoes. She heard a noise, something breaking in the kitchen. "Lyd? You here? Nathan?" Amara moved out of the bedroom and into her friend's room. She pushed the door open with her shoe, careful not to touch the knob. The door opened halfway, enough for her to squeeze by. The bed sheets were the first thing she saw. What had once been bleach-white was now discolored firestation red. The body of Lydia's boyfriend was sprawled on the mattress, covered by a soaked comforter. His eyes stared into nothingness and his head was bent at an odd angle. There was no other mark on him except for the slice across his stomach. "Jesus Christ," Amara whispered. She moved around the bed and saw her friend's headless body. Amara backed up with the scene swimming in front of her. What had happened to Lydia? What had she gotten herself into? All kinds of thoughts overwhelmed her. She found the solid wall behind her and slid down it, drawing her knees up to her chest, her head falling forward. After that blackness consumed her. That was how the cops found her, hours later. 68

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**** They picked her up and wrapped her in a blanket. They tried to ask her questions, but she was incoherent. Everything from the night spun in her head. It had all been a prank. It had been her hunger playing tricks with her mind. Lydia couldn't really be dead. There was no way. Amara had known her for over fifteen years, since they were in grade-school band together. And Nathan. Where is he? He's only a kid. I didn't see him. I hope he's okay. Lydia didn't deserve this. She was planning her wedding. She'd wanted more children. Oh, God! "Nathan?" Amara called. She listened, but heard nothing. Amara kept seeing the guy on her hood and feeling the fear that ran through her veins contaminating every part of her. The image of what Lydia must have felt. How could human life be taken so easily and have no one feel remorse about it? Amara had never seen a dead body before. It was one thing to talk to ghosts, but it was another to actually see the corpse of a friend with the skin turning gray and purple. Her body hadn't really looked that way. She was still warm. Someone was playing a really sick joke. The phone call. Trevor. The guy on her car. Everything. All of this was some cruel prank. It was a hoax, something, anything. Where was Lydia's connection? In her mind, the link between them was empty. There was nothing.

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"So, Miss Black, you say that you were worried about your friend so you went to her apartment after you called her. Did you touch anything else besides the door knobs?" "What?" Amara looked up into the cop's brown eyes. He was square-jawed and had a brown buzz cut. His chin was neatly shaven and he wore a suit. She was surprised that Shelton had such a well-dressed force. Thin lips were pursued and waiting for her answer. "No, sorry. Umm—I—I don't think so. The door in Nathan's room, I guess. I went in there first 'cause I wanted to see if he was all right. Did you find him? I mean, is he—" "No, the child was unharmed. We found him hiding in the bathroom closet. And you say that you had a run-in with a man carrying a sword in a cemetery earlier this evening. You didn't think of going to the police then?" Amara shook her head. She glanced around. The walls were gray. The table was old and ready to fall apart. The air had a sterile aroma to it and the two-way mirror had dust and fingerprints all over it. "I wasn't thinking about it. I guess I was in shock. He cut my arm and his blade went right though my windshield and tore part of my seat." The detective grabbed the chair opposite her, squealing it across the tiles. He didn't believe her story about coming up to visit relatives and friends. She wasn't about to tell the cops that her dead friend had called her in North Carolina because another one of their friends was missing, but he wasn't dead. And the crazy guy in the cemetery with the sword was an arch-enemy from a past life. It was hard enough for the cop to swallow that she was a psychic. 70

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"Assuming the same assailant murdered your friend and then came after you, do you have any idea why someone would want to hurt you or your friend?" "No. I haven't seen Lydia in almost two years. I mean, I was coming up in the summer for her wedding. A group of us from high school were gonna catch up, but I haven't heard from the others yet. I only got back a couple of days ago. I saw Lyd last night, I went out for dinner, and then went back to the hotel. Today I drove around, went back to the high school and then went over to the cemetery. We used to hang out there, look for ghosts and shit. I went there to reminisce. I was getting ready to leave when I saw this guy standing in front of my car. The next thing I know, he's on my hood. He had this huge-ass sword, plunged it right through my windshield and into my seat. I gunned the car and he flew off. Obviously he was crazy, but I have no idea why he was after me. I don't encounter too many guys with swords. Trust me. There might be crazy Bible thumpers in North Carolina, but none of them go running around graveyards with sharp objects." "Look, Miss Black, I'm sorry for your loss, but there's no need to get hostile. I'm trying to do my job. I understand what you've been through was traumatic, but we can't help you unless you help us," he said and stroked his chin. His expression softened. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else you want me to tell you. Can I go back to my hotel now? I've told you everything I know. You've got pictures of my car and my arm. You've questioned me on everything I've told you. What more do you 71

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want? I've been here for hours. I want to get some sleep. Hopefully salvage what I can." The detective sighed and looked at the two-sided mirror, almost waiting for some confirmation that she could go. The room was cold and her stomach was still heaving from the water they'd given her. She craved sleep. Dawn was close. She felt it approaching. The sensation of dread that came with it was something she had gotten used to. It brought heaviness to her limbs, but tonight the feelings were worse than they had been for a while. Psychically she was tired, too. It was erratic for her psychic abilities to go haywire, the way they had done in the cemetery with the ghosts and her vision going out of whack. Her brain was on overload from seeing Lydia. Emotions ran high in the police station. It wasn't every day they investigated a murder. It didn't help the detective thought she was guilty of something. To top it off, she kept hearing the voice of the guy in the woods, telling her to run. She was sure he had forced her to her car. If that were the case, then he had some serious psychic mojo, more than she had seen in anyone. Amara stifled a yawn. She hoped that Trevor and Josh were okay. Over the past few months, she had been feeling her age. She almost did wish that vampires existed and she could become one again. When she was eighteen, her age was never an issue. Amara hated being human, hated being fallible. A subconscious part of her remembered being immune to disease. She had been perfect for a long time. Time had been an asset and she'd experienced the centuries like a tourist. 72

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Amara flashed back to her dream, and the guy standing in front of her car. They were one and the same. Simon had come for her again. It seemed time couldn't stand in the way of destiny. She and her friends were on the agenda again. How was that possible? Amara shook her head, clearing Simon away and thought about the other. Andrew. She knew him too. Something about him made her heart open and made her want to crack the walls in her mind so she could solve the mystery. His face was an enigma. If she concentrated hard enough, she could sculpt his features with her eyes closed. That was her problem. She was letting her head do all the talking, when she should have been listening to her instincts. With the recent events, there was no way her head was letting her heart intrude. Still, there were other things about Andrew she could analyze. The sound of his voice and the way it caressed her name among her thoughts. It sent chills racing around her heart. Fantasies formed, threatened to overcome her sleep-deprived brain. Her mind saw his hands sliding underneath her shirt, caressing her breasts with gentle fingers. Soft lips kissed the hollow of her throat, enticing moans from her lips while her hands moved over his sculpted chest. The warmth of his flesh surprised her. Her hands slithered down inside his jeans and she stroked his length. He groaned, begging her for more while he nipped at her throat. One hand grabbed her ass while the other tried to undo her bra. Shivers from where he embraced her body tingled through her. Her lips parted. She licked her mouth and held in a sigh. Teeth like sharp daggers would pierce her vein. His hand undid her bra and her shirt 73

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fell to the floor. Warmth sparked between them. Her head fell against his chest while her hands undid his jeans. He would be warm and hard in her palms, as he fought for control and withdrew his bloodstained lips from her throat. Oh, God. Amara didn't need to think about what would come next. Of course, my mind made him into a vampire because that goes with the whole package. Emotions surrounded the name Andrew. She loved and hated it. Any time she had met anyone by that name she'd felt a sense of loss and always figured they would be assholes. Amara was never sure why she had a predisposition toward the name until his name had finally come through her memories of him. Tonight was the first time she'd ever thought she could crack the why behind it and understand what he meant to her, then and now, if she had more time. "Miss Black, are you sure you're all right?" "What? Oh, sorry. Yeah, look, it's been a long night. I'm tired. I lost one of my best friends. Not to mention that I was attacked by the same guy who probably killed her. Can I go back to my room and get some sleep? You have my cell phone number and the name of the hotel. I'm not going back to North Carolina anytime soon, okay?" The detective nodded, led Amara out of the interrogation room and outside to her car. He handed her the keys reluctantly. She climbed in and moved her arm the wrong way, causing the wound to flare to life. Amara sighed and pulled a hand through her hair. She was going to collapse if she didn't get to a bed soon. She was about to pull out when 74

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the cop knocked on her window. Forcing a smile, she rolled it down. "Yes?" "I'm going to post an officer outside of your room for the day. Can't be too careful. It's only a precaution, but we don't want him catching you off guard. Call me if you need anything." He handed her a card. Her exterior melted when she looked into the detective's eyes and saw he wasn't trying to play the part of the concerned cop. In the growing dawn, his skin needed another go under the tanning bed and his stubble was showing through. She could easily be attracted to this man. The guy in Charlotte was an on and off thing. She pondered getting serious with him, but her instincts told her it would never work out. Hmm ... wonder why? But this guy, if she had been up north, if circumstances were different—then he might be relationship potential. "Thanks for everything. I'm sorry about being a bitch. It's—you know—with everything—" "No sweat. You were a peach compared to some. Trust me. I've seen a few winners." "Maybe if this blows over we could get a cup of coffee or something," Amara said, contemplating the possibilities. Maybe when this was all over she could forget her vampire notions and shoot for some semblance of normality. Look where it had gotten Lydia. No, she couldn't think like that. Lydia was a freak accident.

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When he smiled a light came into his eyes that made his whole face friendlier. "Yeah, maybe, but we're not allowed to date cases." "Well then, you have to catch the guy and then I won't be involved anymore." "True," he laughed. "Have a good night, or morning. Get some sleep." He touched her hand gently and that sent a chill up her arm. Amara closed the window. Some of the harshness that she had experienced evaporated. His touch lingered on her hand. She pictured herself with the detective in the years to come. A life in which she was a wife and mother, she had a home and could bake cookies and do crafts. Every Sunday morning they would get the paper. Hell, even have a puppy around that would chew everything to bits, but she wouldn't care because it would be blissfully ordinary. She would know nothing about the supernatural. Ghosts wouldn't bother her in the middle of the night. And she would have no knowledge of being a vampire. There were times when Amara truly wished for that release, to be ignorant of anything except what was in front of her. But no. Her life was not blessed that way. She had ghosts to deal with, vampires on the brain, and everything she knew was disintegrating around her. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seven Amara tried to swallow back tears as she got out of the car. The cop was already waiting outside of her room. She forced a smile and slammed the door behind her, not even acknowledging the officer. Let him think that she was a coldhearted bitch, she didn't care. Her body said sleep. She plucked her shoes off and flung herself onto the bed, not feeling at all secure, not even with the sun, which was supposed to drive the monsters away, beaming down. Her devils were so deeply rooted that even the daylight couldn't banish them. She had centuries of them. She tried lying down, but only found herself tossing and turning. Finally her body settled down into sleep. Her mind projected her backward into her memories. Except this time it wasn't the normal ones she recalled. Sensations of hands moving on her body hit her, caressing places that hadn't been touched in a while. Fingers fondled her breasts, squeezing the nipples between learned fingers. The pain and pleasure of it seized her hips and caused them to convulse. Deep laughter exploded next to her ear. A palm caressed her face. Weight pushed down on top of her. The man who was teasing her had blond hair and the most intense eyes, the color of thunder clouds, and alabaster skin. Her soul knew him, even if her mind couldn't recall his name. Her hands played over his chest and down to his groin. He was hard and waiting for her to make a move. Meeting his eyes, she smiled 77

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slyly. One hand cupped his balls while her lips sucked in his shaft, tasting the salt of cum on the tip. Somewhere deep inside, she recognized the taste even in her dream. Her lover moaned above her and pushed her down on him. Her fangs hardened and caused friction while she moved up and down. His hips thrust forward. She clutched his ass, digging her nails into the tender flesh. The moans were driving her crazy. She needed him. Amara moved her lips from his cock to the inside of his thigh. The blood there called to her hunger. Without giving him warning, she bit deep and was rewarded with a fount of rich liquid. With the quick motion of her fangs, he moaned and came. She looked up at him and batted her eyes innocently. He only smiled and was hard again. With a cruel smile, he yanked her head back and plunged his fangs into her throat while lifting her up and impaling her on his cock. She cried out and shuddered her release. In her dream, Amara bit her lip to keep from crying out anymore. It only made her lover drive into her harder. The sensations that wracked her body in this memory were like nothing she had experienced before. This recollection was more sensory, more involved, and she desperately wanted to know who this man was driving her insane in the past and invading her sleep-deprived brain in the present. This was not a wet dream. This called to a part of her soul the way her other dream-memories did. He was still buried inside of her and drinking from her throat. His movements were slowing. One of her legs entwined around his hip. His lips trailed from her throat to her mouth. She tasted her blood on his lips. The slow torture of 78

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his pumping made her want to beg, but her mouth stayed shut, it was her mind which screamed for him to take her. In the dream, his name played over and over again in her mind, but she couldn't remember it. The only things that stood out were his eyes. With one final thrust she came again, harder than she ever had before. With that last drive, Amara opened her eyes and flew out of sleep. The taste of his blood remained on her lips. The feel of him lingered inside of her. Her whole body was drenched. Her hands had clutched the sheets in an effort to steady her. She glanced at the clock. Only fifteen minutes had passed. She was fully awake. Her friend had been killed, and she was reliving the past life memory of having the best fuck of her life. Taking in a few deep breaths, she came back to herself. Her intuition gave her a little nudge. She wasn't alone. "That was quite a dream you were having. Must have been pretty kinky the way you were moaning." Startled, Amara looked up. There was a man in the closet. He was sitting in the doorway with his knees drawn up to his chest, staring at her. His eyes were steel gray. His skin was white and his hair was hay blond. He wore worn blue jeans and a white, grass-stained T-shirt. Her heart skipped a couple of beats from meeting his gaze. It was as if he could peer deep inside her, and know her intimate secrets. His lips were wide, but not thin, enough to make her quiver if he kissed her. The instant that their eyes met she recognized him. Her mind flashed back to several things at once. This was the man she had dreamed about. A memory of overwhelming sorrow came out of nowhere. He had been taken from her in 79

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her other life. Suddenly her arms were heavy. Images formed. She heard cruel laughter above her. Simon stared down at her, saying he would spare her because she was weak. To prove it, he allowed her to be with her dying lover in his last moments. Rage filled her and layered over the sorrow. She looked down and saw the man in her doorway lying in her arms. The scent and stickiness of blood covered her arms and clothes. It was coming from everywhere. There was a large gash in his stomach where blood pooled and one in his back where the sword had penetrated his body, severing his spinal cord. One way to kill their kind. Blood spilled from his lips. The more he tried to talk, the more blood escaped. She whispered to him to hang on. She would sacrifice everything, her very life, because she was so sorry for all the shit she had put him through. No matter how strong or inhuman he was, he was still dying. The light in his eyes lingered a moment longer and then finally extinguished, leaving her to face eternity alone. "Andrew," she whispered. In the back of her mind, she saw the points that connected her to all of her friends and this stranger now occupied the spot where Lydia had been. The vibration of his energy hummed around her. His aura hit her heart. The energy was heavier than she was used to. His connection was silver, but his point shined brighter. When she tried to follow the link between them, a wall blocked her. Why couldn't things be easier? If she could sneak into his mind and learn his memories, a big part of the mystery between them would be solved. 80

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He was a vampire. The memory retreated and the present returned. Before her was a total stranger, no matter what their bond was before. "How the hell did you get in here?" Instinctively she backed away. Andrew got up slowly and stretched. Why didn't I see him? "Because I didn't want you to, that's why." he answered her unasked question. "Human minds are so fragile, even when they aren't truly human. You're slightly harder to trick because you can see other realities. The dead are clear to you. You see the interactions of dimensions, but there are ways to alter even your perception. I won't hurt you. I had hoped that by showing you what had been between us, you might not be so afraid of me." He moved the short distance toward the bed. "Why are you here? Who are you? What are you talking about?" Amara moved to the other side of the queen-sized bed where she almost fell off the edge. She was shaking again. She hated herself for the vulnerability. If she only knew what was hidden inside her soul wanting to emerge, then she would understand the secrets that eluded her. "You know who I am, Jacquelyn. You spoke with me earlier. Don't hate yourself because you came back in a mortal body. It's true we don't identify with them, but we started from them, like you did before. I was in your thoughts, culling what had once been between us. I know you remember." 81

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"Stop! Get the fuck out of my head. I don't care if you can read my mind or make me remember the past. It's rude. Jesus! Stop calling me Jacquelyn. Now tell me what the hell's going on and I don't want any more riddles, cryptic messages, or mind games. Who the hell was that guy in the cemetery and why was he after me? Why is Lydia dead? Why are my friends disappearing? Can you tell me any of that? Because if you can't then walk the fuck out that door! And I don't care who the hell you are or were to me, or even if you were the subject of my latest wet dream!" Andrew was about to move when there was a knock on the door. Amara jumped and figured that it was the cop standing guard. "Miss, you okay in there?" Andrew looked from her to the door and was about to open it when she shook her head. There was no way she was letting some outside party interrupt her when she might be getting some long-awaited answers. Tons of subjects flooded her mind. She should have been afraid of him. He was a stranger, and for all she knew, he might be the one who had killed her friend. However, her intuition told her differently and there had to be something between them. If not then he would never have taken Lydia's place in the web that linked her and her friends. She went to the door instead and poked her head out to see the sleepy-eyed officer staring back. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. I was talking to myself. It helps me deal with stress. Thanks for checking, though." She plastered on her phony smile, then slammed the door in his face and sat back on the end of the bed, slumped over. All the excitement had drained her. She was burning energy 82

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faster than normal. Now she was light-headed from lack of sleep and depleted resources. Her uninvited guest settled next to her. His energy blasted on her heating her skin. The aroma of grass from the graveyard clung to him. The combination was intoxicating and her hunger surged forward. Phantom fangs pushed into her mouth. Her gums ached in tune with her heartbeat. It didn't help that she'd had that powerful dream. Even if he did bring it up from her subconscious, it didn't mean he had any right to be in her mind. The thought of what she had remembered made her hot, made her ache for him to hold her. Her temperature blazed and then dropped again. Her breathing grew shallow and her stomach twisted in knots. Pressing her nails into the meaty part of her palms, she hoped the distraction of pain would push the hunger and the erotic thoughts of him away. Sometimes pain made her aware of her physical surroundings. This time, no matter how much her nails cut into her flesh, it wasn't helping. His cool hand settled on top of hers lightly, barely brushing her flesh. His fingers traced over hers, feeling the texture of her skin. For a moment, all her awareness was hyper-focused on her hand. She felt the ridges of his fingertips brushing over the small hairs on the back of her hand. Where they passed, the slight breeze made her shiver. She swallowed back the lump that had formed in her throat. She started sweating from hunger pangs and licked her lips to wet them. Amara squeezed her eyes shut and prayed the hunger would leave her. Maybe more of the vampire in her was awakening even when she'd thought there was no more left to emerge. 83

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Amara tried to focus beyond the hunger, the thirst and the intruder to absorb energy from the environment. She was so frazzled she couldn't. Consequently, she was only giving herself a migraine by concentrating too much. "Now is not the best time to be touching me. You sh—" She tasted copper on the back of her tongue. Her body craved more than energy. When she was younger, she caught herself daydreaming about hunting victims. Someone who called to her on some level would pass her on the street and before she realized it, she would start to follow. She would walk for blocks with soundless footsteps trailing her prey. Then right before she pounced, Amara would draw back into reality and find herself with little awareness of how she had let the hunger swallow her. This was how she was feeling now. If this man stayed, she would hurt him. At least, she would try to hurt him. Even though she didn't want to, and no matter what the consequences, she would get what she needed one way or another. Her body would succumb to instinct. "You should go." "I can't leave you alone. Once night falls he'll be back. We have to be out of here by then. I won't lose you again." "No, you—" Her temper flared as irritation and irrationality set in at the same time. She didn't want to hurt this guy. She had to do something to get back into a rational state of mind. Her phantom fangs pressed against her lips and she had a hard time swallowing. The knot in her stomach crept up her throat. Her intruder's aura pulsated in the back of her mind. All of her senses were going into overdrive, triggered by her 84

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thirst. "You d-don't understand. I don't want to hurt you. Please." He lifted her chin. She resisted him, but his strength was more than she'd expected. She tried to keep her eyes on the carpet, but Andrew was insistent. "Amara, you've always been so stubborn. It took us two hundred years before you overcame being obstinate, and I didn't have to force feed you anymore. After all that time, you finally stopped hating me for taking you away from a mortal death. I know you're hungry. I felt it when you came in. You're denying what you so desperately need. You've been refusing it since you first awoke to your true nature. Energy is a poor substitute for blood. Your body can't truly suppress the blood-hunger, even though your mind says it can. You resort to taking the essence of life in its purest form to prolong your existence. I know you've had blood, but you turned from it because it's intoxicating. Once you taste it, you have to force yourself to stop or you think you'll hurt the one you feed from. It's hard. I know. I've been in the very spot you're in, but it's the condition of our souls. No matter how we decide to live, from blood or energy, there's no way of escaping our true natures." "What do you want from me?" Amara understood what he said, but she heard him through a tunnel. It would only be a matter of moments before her consciousness snapped. The only way to stop it was to feed, and she hated to give in. Even taking out chunks of her cheeks to have the taste of blood wasn't going to help. 85

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"It's not what I want. It's what you need. My desires can be sated later. Here." He lifted his wrist, but she grabbed it to stop him. Part of her still battled against the blood even though everything in her screamed for him to slice his flesh open so the coppery fluid could settle on her tongue. But she couldn't. Even if he offered, she couldn't. If she were lucid, she would have tried to explore their newly formed link. She focused through the haze and searched her mind. This man was associated with the mysterious woman she saw in Trevor's thoughts. His silky voice echoed in her psyche. She saw him bending over her. He'd made her into a vampire before, centuries ago. Somehow he had reappeared now. None of this was by chance. She wanted to ask him what was going on, but her need overshadowed her reason. Why is he back? Why didn't he come for me when I was younger? Why now when my friends are disappearing? Is he a psychic vampire that's more in touch with his gifts I am? Did he have the same kind of experiences growing up, dealing with hunger ... or is he a blood-vampire? From the sound of it, he was a sanguine vampire, but she wouldn't take his blood. There were too many factors. She didn't want her obsession to capture her again. Part of her longed to bite into his wrist, to lap at whatever came out, so her pain would disappear, but too much of her was human. "No. Th-thank you. Blood won't help. Not now. It's been years since I've tasted it. I can't get hooked again. One 86

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addiction is bad enough. But you do have something that I need." He was about to protest, but he studied her face and she knew that he felt her need. The connection between them vibrated. She smiled graciously and licked her lips, feeling her tongue catch on her fangs. If they had been real, she would have pierced it, but they were only a mirage of what could have been, of what had once been. She took his wrist and licked a moment over the pulse point. The musk of his skin stung her nose and the salt of his flesh burned her tongue. It would have been easy to rip out a hunk of tissue until she tasted copper, but she had beaten that longing. She didn't exist on blood. She had evolved above all that. His energy played over her mouth tingling against her fangs. She stretched her mouth wider and then bit down, piercing his aura, stopping centimeters from his skin. In an instant his energy flowed down her throat, hot and warm. Unlike blood, energy was thick. It would take an hour or so before her aura absorbed it. Sleep would also help with that. Andrew hissed as if he was physically bitten. He almost jerked his hand away, but she had it in an iron grip that surprised even her. Amara barely paid it any mind. Right now, he was a cheeseburger and she was famished. His essence moved to the tip of her toes and the top of her head. It surged up her spine, touching every chakra point, flaring them to life so that she felt on fire. Each spot spun faster and faster while her body restored itself. Her head was buzzing and the thread that bound them flared to life again behind her eyes. 87

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Her action was natural to her. She saw herself at this man's neck, supping on his life. She saw herself through his eyes while he looked down on a sleeping form that resembled her in a past life. Then she woke from her slumber. Coughs had convulsed her body from the breath barely staying in her lungs. She had felt his heart go out to her as he sat on the bed and tried to soothe her back into sleep. He wanted to take away her pain, but he was still unsure if she would join in him in the night. He knew she loved him for being an angel, a guardian spirit who watched over her and brought her gifts. Still she didn't know the true being who lay behind his mysterious facade. "She will make your life an eternity of hell if you bring her into our existence. Let her die and choose another. Why her?" Amara heard the voice behind her, and when she turned the woman was in the shadows, but Amara still recognized her. "Because she's part of my soul. I wouldn't expect you to understand." "I understand more than you realize, but she will not be suited for this life. Let her go. You can find her again when she reincarnates." "I will not let her die." "Suit yourself." The vision faded and the hunger in Amara subsided. The ecstasy of feeding could have held her forever if she wasn't careful. Only when she withdrew did she realize that Andrew had been stroking her hair. She liked the physical contact, and bathed in it. His fingers were gentle, barely touching her, 88

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just enough so that she felt them. He treated her like something to be cherished. The memory she had witnessed made her think he really did have some feeling for her. Maybe he was as floored to have found her again as she was to have met him. She could have fallen asleep in his lap if she knew him better. Amara was aware that her entire being was a sponge, especially when she was starving. She looked up finally and could barely meet his eyes from the embarrassment raging through her. "Thank you," she whispered. Andrew caressed the side of her face. His finger trailed down toward her neck, but he stopped and pulled his hand away. She noticed his eyes settled on her pulse point. His skin glowed in the morning light, but she assumed that he was hungry since she had tapped into him. "You should get some sleep. I'll watch out for you as I did when you were a human child." Amara paused and saw the serious smile on his face. Yet his eyes reflected something else. He knew she had gotten a glimpse into his mind. She shook her head because she wasn't going to be the one to bring up the subject. "When we get to a rational place in this whole scenario, we have to talk." Andrew laughed. She crawled up to the pillows. Before she knew it, sleep encompassed her. Her mind filled with dreams that were not dreams, memories that she had thought were only part of a crazy imagination. She was something else, someone else, centuries ago... [Back to Table of Contents] 89

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Chapter Eight Jacquelyn opened her eyes. She was in the castle, the very place she had run away from. Damn him. Damn Andrew. She had wanted to be rid of him for good. He had condemned her to a life of eternal darkness and she hated him for that. He had promised her a life without pain, a way for her to heal her wounds and live forever. He never spoke of the consequences, turning her into a creature shunned by the sun. Besides, Crimson, the vampire who owned the castle, couldn't stand her because she whined about her existence. For a long time, Jacquelyn had shared her room solely with her creator, but twenty years ago she had requested one of her own. It was bad enough she couldn't go for a walk without him following her, in the jealous fear she was going to choose a human over him. She barely connected to humans anymore. They were like cows or pigs, only they were food with thoughts. How could she relate to them when she had moved beyond the mortal coil ages ago? She wanted to put the last two centuries behind her and make a fresh start. It wasn't until recently, she had accepted, she had to hunt for blood. Before that, horrible pain and cramps had engulfed her being and her mind was nearly crazed until she fed. Even though she had done this for years, Andrew would find her. She felt it was better to die than to take a life from the race which had spawned her. Now, she had learned there was more to the night than feeding. Darkness enticed her. It spoke to a part of 90

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her it never had when she was human. There was no fear of wandering out under a moonless sky and being taken by woodland sprites. She was a cut above mortality and she had only begun to see why the others enjoyed being the creatures they were. That didn't mean she wanted to live with Andrew. God, I hate men, even if they are vampires. All males of the species are assholes. She slammed her fist on the window, considering jumping out, at least that way freedom would be hers. Andrew would find her no matter where she escaped to. They were connected through the blood he had given her when she was dying of pneumonia. With each passing year she hated him more, even though a piece of her yearned to be his slave. She hated that weakness. A slice of her loved him and longed to be in his arms for eternity, shy away from the sun for good even though she could walk in it. Jacquelyn had more tolerance than most of her kind. It was one of her oddities, like her ability to set things aflame if there was fire in her vicinity. Certain abilities traveled down through bloodlines. Andrew had neither of her gifts, but someone in the line did and he envied her for those. He longed to be her lord and master, even though she could take care of herself. Andrew might have bestowed life in darkness on her, but he was not going to tell her how to live. She despised that her family had perished and she had seen enough seasons to watch three generations live and die. That hadn't fazed Andrew. Jacquelyn was coming off her last bout of starvation. It was an unpleasant way to die. She was tired of suffering the self-inflicted torture. She even ate more human food than the 91

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others did because she needed the nourishment. Her body could handle some food and she rather enjoyed it. What the others didn't understand was that she was lonely to her very soul and needed someone else to confide in, someone who would understand her. Andrew be damned. I don't care what he or Crimson want. This is my life. The two of them kept telling her one day it would dawn on her that the night was beautiful, there was more to it than supping off the living. For the first fifty years or so she had truly enjoyed her death with Andrew. He taught her to read and write. She understood more of the world by being able to read. Then he showed her how to master her abilities at the hunt. At first, it had been fun moving through the woods at inhuman speeds. Andrew had shown her wonderful things she could do with her body. At first she had been fearful, but he assured her he would never hurt her. He had broken that promise many times. Jacquelyn loved him. Part of her would love him forever because he had been with her since she was a child. He had watched over her. Andrew had prevented her father from nearly killing her. He gave her everything she had ever wanted because her parents were peasants. She never understood why he had chosen her. He told her she was special, beautiful and he wanted her with him forever. At twenty-four, she had been dying of pneumonia. When he had come, she'd known death was imminent. The shadows were closing in around her. It was cold. She remembered floating in-between life and death when she sensed him enter her 92

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room. His voice and his presence brought her back from the brink. Her mind heard him whispering and she loved him so much. She had been unaware of Crimson, the lady of the castle, who lorded over all of them. She had predicted Jacquelyn would hate living in the night. Andrew was stubborn and refuted it, saying he loved her and she would be a good child and not turn on him. Jacquelyn stared out the window. Crimson was right. Andrew should have left me to drift off into the great hereafter. Now I'm bound to the earth. Recently, Andrew had dragged her back to the castle, weak from hunger, after she'd wandered into the woods. He sliced his wrists, smothering her with it until she was made to open her mouth, drinking until she gagged. Finally, she had regained enough strength to push him away. Then he left her waiting in her room, until his temper cooled. He brought her a human, which he forced her to eat. He ripped into her veins and took back the blood she'd drunk from him. It was a vicious cycle that had been going on for decades. She was tired of it. Why won't he let me go? If he truly loves me then why doesn't he see I need my freedom even if that choice means death? "Because, beloved, I would be alone in the night and even your hatred wouldn't be there to warm me. Is that what you want? To see me all alone with no one to share forever with? You know that I chose you. You're mine. No one else can have you, not even the heaven the mortals believe in." 93

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"Andrew, please let me go. I don't want this life. If you had told me before you ever changed me into this-this thing, then I'd never have chosen it. You know that. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I can't continue living like this. If you truly love me, then let me go. Give me the freedom to choose how I want to live. I understand trying to starve myself isn't worth it. You've given me a gift and I want to explore, but I have to do it on my own. You can't be my lord and master anymore." Andrew stepped forward and ran his hand over the bedpost before he looked up at her. A look of sorrow or remorse flashed across his features. Then the feather-like flickering of his mind played against hers. She wanted to slap him so hard. She could almost feel the sting of it against her flesh. Suddenly, the tether latched onto her thoughts like a leash and compelled her to stand upright, not even allowing her to blink. Jacquelyn couldn't even breathe without him permitting it. She could barely even think. Her whole being fought to regain control of her body. There was no way she could get out from under his hold. Andrew studied her face. He even brushed a piece of stray hair away and then traced his finger over her lips. A small smile appeared on his face. He bent over and kissed her lightly, knowing full well she couldn't react. "How can I let you go? I love you! You may deny the fact, but deep down you love me, too. We are tied together, soul to soul. I can find you in another life. If we are separated by time, I can find you. We might wear different faces, but there will be something in you that will recognize me. At your time 94

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of most dire need, I will be there. I will pick you back up and save you from death. You think I stole your humanity so many years ago, but I only rescued you from years of torment. You came into my arms willingly when we first made love. I held you when you were frightened of the sensations awakening inside of you. I was there when you made your first kill. From that first drop of blood hitting your mouth, you knew you were a killer. The only thing that holds you back is that last shred of mortality. You are no longer part of humanity. We're something different. We are above them. Let go of your fears and sorrows, for they're the reason you wish to end your existence, not the woman I love. You have bottled her up and left her to die, chained to some rotting fence post, leaving me with a fragile human shell that wants to be buried in the ground. I'm tired of having this argument. I want what's best for us. Don't you know that?" The pressure eased on her mind so she was allowed to speak. "Master, you have to understand that we come from the very beings we feast upon. How can you ask me to take another life when we're living on borrowed time already? This endlessness is unnatural. I accept it because I'm afraid to find out what's beyond. Every time I try, you reel me back in. I am what I am, and you can't change that. You brought me into this hell and expected me to love you from the start. Yes, part of me will always be your slave, but I cannot continue to live the way you want me to. I don't love you. I loathe you. Let me have my freedom. Maybe we can reconcile our differences in the years to come. For now, I—we—cannot live like this. You resent me for not being your devoted creation, 95

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and I despise you for stealing away my humanity. Please let me go. There's no one else who can share my heart. I doubt there ever will be. You have put your brand on me. You think Trevor would pull me into his bed if I asked. He's a flirt. He tolerates me as Crimson does. I'm tired of being tolerated by you—by them all. Let me go so I can find my own way. Please, Andrew." Jacquelyn forced her will and found his hold on her was not iron-clad. Through their bond, she understood he loved her in his own way. She tried to keep her mind blank so he wouldn't feel her disgust. She touched the side of his face and looked at him with kind eyes. He couldn't let her die. No matter how hard she tried or how much she wanted to enjoy her life, she couldn't do it with him. "Please let me go. Before my heart is turned to stone and ice and there's no more room for what might still be between us." "Jacquelyn, you melt my heart, but your freedom you will never have." He said nothing more, but left her to her own wiles. The leash on her mind vanished. He walked out and locked the door again, keeping her prisoner. Tears threatened, but something turned over in her. It was true, she was beyond humanity and it was time she took advantage of that. Looking around the room, she gathered what money she had stored, valuables she could sell, and her heaviest cloak. She grabbed a hairpin and then went to work on the lock. In a few minutes, she had it opened and realized it would have been easier to do that much earlier. Quietly she closed the door again and then made her way down the long hallway to the 96

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staircase leading into the Great Hall. Usually Crimson and Trevor were sparring to pass time. She was lucky to find the hall empty. She made her way down and into a side hall that led to a servant's entrance near the back. Once outside, she braced herself against the cold, drawing the hood of her cloak closer. She wasn't afraid of humans. She was frightened of what was to come. Quickly, with the remaining darkness, she sped along the shadows, leaving the castle and the only life she'd had for so long. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nine I know the dream was a memory about us, but I don't feel the hate toward him that I had in the dream. It's obvious we had to get away from one another because he was being a controlling fuck. I guess I don't blame him. Even though I was being a stubborn, whining bitch, he didn't have the right to keep me locked in my room. Amara paused, looking up from her diary to scan the room. Andrew was nowhere to be found, so that gave her some time to write about her current experiences. Part of my memories opened up once we were together, letting me know where the story began between the two of us. I remember seeing him when I was a child back then, watching over me. I don't fully remember the night he turned me. What happened after I left the castle? I guess I made a life without him. I do know it ended when he died. I remember feeling the loss and the love that I had for him. Hell, I just met him and flashed back to him dying in my arms. He took up the space where Lydia was in the web. That's never happened before. I saw one of his memories of watching over me. I've never done that before either—gotten into someone's head and immediately felt so connected. My memories are more tangible than ever, and they're getting stronger. What do I say to him? I don't think he manipulated me. That dream of his hands on me, his mouth and his fangs. Okay, have to get my mind off of that or I'm in big trouble. 98

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Don't want him to walk back in here and find me naked on the bed thinking about him, or the past him. When I tasted his energy, I wanted to rip into his hand. His energy is unlike any other, and it somehow made everything better. I guess on the subconscious level something else is going on. Has he been following me? Why doesn't it make me more edgy? Maybe because he offered himself to me last night without hesitation. Obviously he knew what I was going through. He's a vampire of some kind. He's probably sanguine, but happens to be more in touch with his psychic abilities than I am. Damn. Her hand started to cramp from writing. Amara realized she was starting to ramble in her diary. Andrew's link is even brighter than Tre's and all the others ever were. I took so much from him. Now he'll be with me until the day I die. I always hate that drawback whenever I feed. No matter how hard I try, I am made up of the energy of those I feed on. What Andrew said made sense though. We are creatures of the hunger. If we truly were blood-sucking vampires, then this is what we've become. I already know all this and I can't think how many times I've said it. Sometimes I wonder what will happen in fifty years when my grandchildren find this diary and wonder what the hell Grandma was thinking. Probably that she was totally insane. Who in their right mind says they're a vampire? Well, me, that's who. Damn it. There's no other explanation. I have a supernatural soul trapped in a human body. We are vampires in every lifetime. 99

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We carry it and are aware of our other lives. That's where we become undying. We count the years of our soul and we know we are endless until we learn our lessons and become something more than these frail human shells. Or maybe, the rational side of me is wrong and vampires do exist. Andrew might be proof of that, if he is what he claims to be. The more I learn, the more I think science is wrong. "Hey, you're up. Good. We have to get going. I was getting your car ready." Amara peered up from her journal and looked at Andrew. Now his eyes were stone gray and his complexion not so pale. His energy vibrated with life and he looked refreshed. He should have had to crash for a couple of days after all the energy she took. He smelled of soap. That was when she realized the bathroom door was open and there was still a damp scent in the air. He wore the same jeans and a plain black T-shirt. She blushed when she realized that he was studying her while he waited. "Umm. Thanks. But we can't leave. The cop. He'll wonder where I'm going and well-you're not supposed to be in the picture at all." "I convinced him to leave not too long after you fell asleep. Don't want to give ourselves away yet. Besides, I needed a body to suck on. We have to get going before the hunter finds you. And he will. Trust me. He's a persistent asshole. I wish we could've saved Lisha, but we had no idea he was in the area. I was following a lead Crimson had. We know he's been killing all across the country. Taking out those who have awakened, even some of the Elders. They pose a threat. I'm 100

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not sure why. I think Crimson does, but she's not sharing. She's been tight-lipped about the whole situation. The hunter's replaying the past. I never thought that Crimson would allow his soul to return. Somehow it must have slipped through the cracks." "Andrew, this makes no fucking sense whatsoever." "I should let Crimson do all the talking. She'll be able to explain it better. Come on. We have to get going." Amara didn't have much choice in the matter. He had saved her life already and he seemed to know what he was talking about. Besides, her intuition said she could trust him. She gathered the rest of her things and climbed into the car while he checked out. While they drove, Amara watched the scenery change, contemplating everything that had transpired. She felt awkward with him, but also right at home. Many of the same questions formed in her mind she had posed to herself in her journal. At one point, her head dipped forward from the steady motion of the car rocking her to sleep. Before she slipped into dreams, she latched onto enough consciousness to reexamine the link between the two of them. It was more cemented now. She tried to follow the cord back to him, to work into his mind, but every time she did, a steel wall kept her out. Finally, she sighed, and forced herself to wake back up and move out of the trance state she had been lulled into. The silence between them was stretching thin, and she didn't know how much more she could handle. "I'm sorry about earlier," he said. "I didn't mean to go into your mind. I should have asked before, but like I said, I 101

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wanted to show you something that used to be between us. I thought it might ease the tension of you finding a total stranger in your hotel room." Amara glanced at him. He stared at the road. She couldn't read his expression and wondered if he was exploring the thread between them too. She shrugged. "It's okay. I mean— it's not, but I understand. You wanted to break the ice. Look, I gotta eat and pee. Can we stop somewhere?" She wasn't in the mood to discuss her dream-memory with him. At least, not yet. Like he'd said, he was a total stranger no matter how well her soul knew him. She wasn't about to start telling random guys about her sexual fantasies. Andrew glanced at her and checked the rearview mirror, then pulled off at the next exit to let Amara go into the fast food place. When she climbed back in, she handed him a burger, but he shook his head. She shrugged and began eating. She usually hated these places, but meat was a good thing at the moment. Finally, they were back on the highway. The silence in the car really started to get to Amara. He was being very civil and he had saved her life. She'd fed from him with no questions asked and that was rare. When she thought about him, the hole in her heart evaporated and a lump of unkindled emotion formed in her throat. The would-be relationships she'd had were meaningless. The more time she spent with Andrew, the more she felt complete. She couldn't believe now she had even considered the possibility of dating the detective. Could she really make a life in normalcy with him, throwing away everything she had ever known? Not likely. 102

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"Okay, you're not telling me where you're taking me, which I can understand, sorta. I think it's fucked up, but I accept it. At least tell me what's going on. It's not every day I meet a guy who lets me suck on him, doesn't have a fit about it, and admits he brought on a pretty damn good sexual fantasy." Andrew laughed. It made his face light up even more. "I should let Crimson do all the explaining. To start, I'm sure you remember some things that happened in your past lives. I know you're psychic. It was evident in the graveyard with the spirits screaming at you. I was surprised how strong you were, and honestly, I was astonished I found you at all. Crimson located a cell of vampires, or nearly awakened ones. We thought the hunter would go after them. I followed the trail and oddly enough it led me to you." "This Crimson, who is she? Are you taking me to her? Is the hunter going after psychic vampires? What does this have to do with past lives?" "I'm getting to all that." "Sorry." Andrew smiled and then focused on the road again. Amara noticed his expression grew blank. "Since I was a child, I've had glimpses of another life. I knew I had always been a step apart. I figured out I was a vampire. The memories confused me until I went through the awakening. Sometimes the dreams and memories from the other life were consuming. Oddly enough, I was born with the same name, which is slightly strange, but I guess there are other forces at work. I started out a psychic vampire, taking in energy from the 103

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environment, but the blood-hunger got the better of me. I commend you for fighting it so well. "Even as a child, blood fascinated me. The color, how it dripped and trembled. I used to slice myself to watch it well up. Fucked up, I know. I would bite my cheeks until they were raw. My parents put me in a hospital because they thought I was crazy. I knew better than to tell my doctors about my true feelings. They kept me for a month and then let me go, saying my issues were gone. The other thing that mesmerized me was you. I've had dreams about you, about our life together. It was only glimpses at first and vague feelings, but as I got older, things stuck. I saw Crimson too. You had a slightly different face then, but my soul recognized you, like it does now. Like it did when I first met Crimson." Amara watched the landscape change. Everything Andrew told her made sense. She understood how his parents would freak about his blood fetish. That was one reason she never told her mother what really went on between her and her friends. Normal humans didn't get it. With her friends, she was sure their memories intertwined with one another. If they started talking about their mutual experiences, then they could fill in the blanks and remember more. Was she ready to pour out her soul to this man? Their knowledge seemed to be similar. He had met this mysterious Crimson he had mentioned before and she wondered if the strange woman from Trevor's mind, her dreams, and the stolen image she had from him, were one and the same. "Okay. I get all that. But how old are you? If you're a sanguine vamp, then you know you have to be careful who 104

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you drink from. Do you have a donor around here, or did you fall back on taking energy to give you a boost? Because what I took from you should've knocked you on your ass." Andrew laughed. "I'm twenty-eight in mortal years, but actually I'm a little over six hundred. I guess that makes you older than me now. God, Jacquelyn, it's good to see you. Being around you again brings back all the old memories and feelings. I used to wonder if I was going crazy, when I was waking up. With you here, it makes it all true." "Yeah, I know what you mean. It's strange to hear you call me Jacquelyn. That name only comes around in my dreams. So your soul as a vampire has been around for six hundred years? If I was having this conversation with a psychiatrist, he would totally commit me." "You're not crazy. Remember I've been there. Forgive the slip. It's fucking strange. I'm your maker, or I was. I remember watching you as a child, giving you things because your family was poor. And then when you were dying of pneumonia, I was there with Crimson, ready to make you what I was. Your blood was spiced with its own flavor. I can still taste it in the back of my throat. I could all those years ago even after you left the castle. You have no idea how much I wanted to hunt you down and kill you after I found you'd left. Crimson held me back and told me it was for the best. It was a good thing you went out on your own to discover your powers. I was an asshole back then. I didn't see it. Now I do. I don't want me to come between us again. I've changed. You've changed. I want the chance to make up for all those years of hell I put you through." 105

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Amara swallowed some fries and almost choked. She threw the rest of the fries in the bag and absorbed what Andrew had told her. She wanted to write it all out on paper so she could manage it better, but now was not the time. Closing her eyes for a second, she drew in a few deep breaths. That didn't help so she rolled the window down and let the coolness of the mountain air take her away. Amara ran her hand through her hair fruitlessly, only to have it to whip back in her eyes until she closed the window. Her mind moved along the threads binding her to her friends. The one that had joined her to Lydia was no more. The emptiness broke her heart and tears streamed down her cheeks. It didn't matter if Andrew's link had replaced her girlfriend's. The hole would always be there. When she switched to Trevor's link, she found that the offset in his energy was rooted more than she could describe. It was almost as if the energy linked her to a different person. Something had certainly happened to her friend and she wondered if the same thing was happening to her. Nothing can radically alter a person's energy signature the way Trevor's has been altered. Unless he's become a totally different person or creature. Reality set in. So much for normalcy. If there was ever a chance to have it, it had flown out the window. There was only one explanation. There really were fucking vampires. And she was one of them. Or had been. "God, this is all real. I mean—the past—it was true. We weren't psychic vampires living together and coming back every lifetime, repeating the cycle. I thought that was where 106

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the immortal part came into play. Shit. I'm so used to having my friends in the back of my head, you know. Now Lydia's gone, you're somehow there, and Trevor feels so different. I felt the signature before. He feels like you, but not so heavy. Why? Is my hunger so out of control because something's happening to me? Am I turning?" Andrew's face twisted into a frown. He took a moment before he spoke and Amara got the sense he didn't want to spook her. "Amara, don't freak out. There are things occurring that can all be explained, but I don't know if you want to hear them right now. If you want, everything you had before can be there again. It's strange looking out through old eyes at a world that you were born into. You have all this other knowledge, but this time is alien to you. I was lucky that Crimson found me. It was almost by accident. We met before by chance too. It seems that history repeats itself. As for what happened to Trevor, only he can tell you his experiences. "I'm sorry you feel alone. At least you had friends you reincarnated with. I had no one. I met a few over the years, but they were psychic vampires, they hadn't been reawakened. Their memories were buried too deep under human lifetimes. They understood the hunger, but nothing else. You're not alone. From this point on, you'll never be alone." "All this is real. I mean, you really drink blood ... are you really immortal? Or is that some bullshit to make me feel better?" 107

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"Body and soul. I'll never get old and it'll take a lot to kill me. Look, there's a lot I want to tell you, but I think it's best for Crimson to do it. She's better at explaining than I am. Besides, I remember the last time we tried to have a conversation like this, you blamed me for taking your humanity. I don't want you to hate me before we've even begun." Amara laughed. "Fine, but is she—she's like us, right? Or like you? I don't know where I fit in. I'm human, or semihuman. At least, I've never considered myself to be totally mortal. I always thought I would be better being an orange or some other kind of fruit. Does fruit even have a consciousness?" Amara realized she was rambling, but the whole idea of real vampires was a little unnerving. Andrew half-smiled. "Amara, I doubt that food is selfaware, but even if you were an orange I'm sure you'd be the best orange you could be. Look, the subject of you being human or not truly human is a valid one. I plan on you being so much more, if you'll let me. This time won't be like times past. I've had lifetimes to learn certain lessons. I'm not a jealous prick anymore. You have a choice this time, knowing what will happen and what you'll become. I won't force it on you." Andrew's voice had dropped to a whisper. His grip hardened on the steering wheel. Amara shook her head and watched the mountains grow taller as they flew down the Mass. Pike heading toward New York. She hadn't been in this part of the state since high school. It was true. He was telling her there were such things as undead bloodsuckers that rose from coffins. It should have 108

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been more of a shock, but for some reason it wasn't. It was conversation. And he was saying she could once again be as she was—a true undead thing, if she wanted to. If only Lydia had known. Would her friend have chosen to leave her human life behind? Had Trevor chosen this lifestyle? Was that why his energy had changed so much? Did she want forever? Amara remembered her unhappiness before with Andrew, but there had also been some wonderful times. There was more to her memories and she wanted to fill in the blanks. The idea of being a true vampire again was both ridiculous and aweinspiring. I've always gone back and forth on the idea. I've put my trust and my life into the hands of a guy I barely know. Did I really have any choice? Maybe this was the way my life was supposed to play out? I can truly say the past does come back to haunt you. Okay, I've had this rationality before. What do you say to a guy who's offering you forever? Do I offer him my neck when I already know the bulk of the consequences? Before I was naïve and innocent. Looking back on it, it was probably the best thing I ever did. Fuck, why does life have to be so complicated? Now she despised feeling every molecule in her dying slowly. Even with the thought of continuing to be human, was it worth being immortal again and watching all of her family die? It was bad enough she had seen her friend's dead body. Did she want to die, come back, and have to relive the whole ordeal of being human again when she could be something so much more? The question had been one she'd mulled over for years. She'd always assumed it would be a chance she could 109

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jump on no matter what. She would be complete again. Could she kill? Could she indulge in her hunger and live with herself? She had a feeling this was one of the major issues she'd had before. Were there more vampires out there? More undead bloodsuckers who survived the hunter's blade? What about the ones who were awakening? How many were there? How many new ones were being taken into the fold? There were so many questions. She understood why Andrew wouldn't tell her anything more than he already had. She thought about meeting this woman who'd had such a huge impact on her past life, as well as on her life to come, it would seem. At the very end, Crimson had been her best friend fighting side by side with her. Would the woman remember her the same way Amara remembered her? From her memories, they had started off hating one another; in the end, they had been near sisters. Maybe Amara would soon get all of her answers. If not, the prospect of eternity was an interesting one to ponder when all her life she had only read about it in fairytales. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Ten They parked the car after ten minutes of driving down a dirt road with numerous "No Trespassing" signs posted along the way. The lane was narrow, winding through foliage so dense Amara barely saw ten feet into the wood. Whatever they would find at the end of this road was going to be big and gothic. It had to be. It would fit the mood and make the whole scenario come together. You couldn't have vampires without a dark castle, surrounded by woods with the nearest town twenty miles away. The atmosphere reminded her of the days she had spent at the castle. Andrew opened the door for her and as she suspected she had stepped into a horror movie with a large English estate looming before her. Great. Fucking wonderful. Ivy roamed up the sides of the large house. A couple of towers anchored the end of it. There was no gate though, which was a little disappointing, but Amara could live with that. Most of the windows were dark, but the ones that were lit were electric. She did see the flickering of candles hidden within the dark eyes of the mansion. How many people could live in this place? The atmosphere was heavy and stole her breath. A chill ran through her at the thought of ghosts because there had to be many. It was classic. Suddenly the earth pitched forward and she thought she would puke. The hairs rose on the back of her neck. The disorientation grew worse. She sensed there was some kind 111

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of shield protecting the house. Andrew didn't seem to be experiencing any effects. Maybe it was because she was psychic and whatever protected the manor must put any suspecting humans off the scent. Andrew's hand rested on her shoulder. The warmth of his flesh ate through the thin material of her T-shirt. She gasped and jumped from the contact, because her mind was hurtled backward. **** Opening her eyes, she stared out from the top of the castle. The wind blew her hair and clothes around her. She thought herself to be kin to some avenging spirit or elemental. It might have been easier to be something else than who she was now. Then her heart might not be so broken, Andrew's death was still in her system, still raw, but she could find no more tears to cry for her long lost master. Now her sorrow had burned into hatred and had given her an iron clad will. The look in his eyes haunted her. She had seen the love he felt for her, just as she had the first time when she was human centuries ago. God, she had loved him then without restraint and she would have given him anything. Had given him everything. Then she loathed him because he stole her most precious thing, but what had she known back then? The land around the castle had remained unchanged even though the centuries moved on. Humans farmed the earth, not caring for the on goings of the castle so long as their Mistress protected them from siege and famine. She had even spent some time at court when she wandered away from 112

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Andrew and found it immensely boring. She had only enjoyed her time in London when she ran the brothel with Magdalena by her side. Alas, even that sweet ecstasy had been stolen from her by the hunter. After eons of avoiding her maker, she had been reunited with Andrew. When she had started to get over her hatred, even he had been stolen from her. Why was fate so cruel? She loved him even now when her soul was breaking. She wanted revenge. "Searching the night, little one? The answers you seek are not there." "How do you know? I asked you for help, but you denied me that. So don't tell me I won't find my answers here. I know the hunter's close. You know he is, too. Your Maker is the one who killed all those I loved. You can stand by and deny it all you want, but I will not have any more blood on my hands. Simon killed Trevor and you won't even let yourself acknowledge it. You're my friend, Crys, but you deny the one thing in front of your very face. Love is blind. Trust me. It's like hatred, once you get it into your system, you can't get it out. Like blood, we feed on it until it consumes us." "You don't know what you're asking of me," her friend whispered. Her auburn hair was free in the wind, whipping around her. "Yes I do. You have to see what you don't want to see. The killings have been going on long enough. You said yourself that Kathryn is dead. The only thing driving Simon to kill now is his insane passion to cleanse the world of our kind. Andrew died in my arms. So did my child. Stop protecting Simon!" 113

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"I can only do so much, love. Simon isn't here. Besides, you're in no shape to go against him. I've tried to reason with him, but when the insanity darkens his eyes I can't get through, and lately that's all I see. He has also threatened me, and we have come to blows. I know what he's doing, and I don't condone it, but what do you wish me to do? How can I kill the man I love?" "It's your fucking job to condemn him! Or are all the times you lectured me that you are Record Keeper, descended from the mother of vampires, told me that by right, judgment should be brought to you in extreme cases, and all those other speeches, a bunch of bullshit?" Crimson looked down at the rushing river that passed by the castle. Over the years it had eroded away the land, and now it was only a few feet from the foundation. "No. It wasn't. You're right. I do have to take responsibility in situations like this. I've been lax and have let many of my duties fall to the wayside. I will find Simon and the next time we will see his end. Agreed." Amara nodded, knowing how much it had to hurt her friend to think about having to kill the man she loved. Part of her heart was cold to her friend's plight. She had seen so many die, and part of her soul had turned to stone. **** "You ready?" Amara jumped again and she spun out of the memory. Andrew moved back when she flinched. She was jarred by the disorientation she felt. 114

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"Are you okay?" Andrew asked. Amara's whole body shook. Her mind reeled from processing the new information. She took in gulps of the cool air until it steadied her. The memory was sharp, along with the emotions, and she felt as though she had relived the pain of losing Andrew all over again. Her heart stung from the loss and having to ask Crimson to go after the man she loved. And the mention of a child? Amara assumed it was another vampire she had turned. She had no other memories of a woman called Magdalena. Still, her heart ached from the recollection. She shut her eyes again and calmed herself a bit, trying to tune out the psychic distortion surrounding the house. Finally, the heaviness ceased and her equilibrium returned to normal. "Okay. That was fucked up." Andrew searched her face and his concern was evident. Amara forced a smile. A headache pounded through her temples from the effort of fighting the haze. The sooner they got inside, the better. She wasn't ready to mention what had happened though. Her memories confirmed to her that she and Crimson had been friends before. She wondered if the woman would know her now. "You sure you're okay? I forgot about the dampening field. Crimson has it set up so no human will accidentally wander into the house. It was a bitch for me too the first time I came here. Once you're turned it won't affect you anymore." "Thanks for the warning." "Sorry." 115

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Andrew seemed uncomfortable. She liked that for some reason. Without a second thought she kissed his cheek. He pulled away quick enough and color rose in his pale flesh. Amara laughed. He went ahead and pushed against one of the heavy wooden doors, which glided open on well-oiled hinges. Amara thought it should have creaked and echoed through the whole house, like any good horror movie cliché. When they walked inside, they were met with an immense foyer and a large staircase leading to the upper floors. The whole place was made of stone. The floor was decorated with lavish oriental rugs and suits of armor were standing there to greet her. Andrew ushered her through a door on their left and then she saw they were in the dining area. Amara realized she was gazing at a scene from one of her memories. In the middle of the room was a large wooden table that had nicks and was warped from years of age. There were twelve modern chairs around it. To the right of the table was an enormous fireplace where a pig could be roasted. Above it was a large battle axe that only a giant could have hefted. A large chandelier lit the center of the room with electric light. Two large plush rugs ran along the sides of the table. All the chairs had arms and red velvet cushions on them. Amara stepped forward in astonishment and ran her fingers over the grooves in the old table. The nicks were from knives and large blades. Her hands caught on splinters but the table wasn't that rough. The wood was stained in some places from the blood that had been spilled over years of use. This was part of her past. Ghost voices echoed in her mind seeing images of vampires that had once sat around the 116

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table. They all gathered around this table and feasted, reminiscing about the past. Then the killings happened and the chairs grew silent. It became something of a memorial until there had been only her and Crimson left. Tears spilled and she sank down into a chair. This was all happening. This was not some gathering of role players getting ready to play a game about vampires and wizards. Andrew was genuine like the spirits that she encountered. All the memories swimming in her head and that she had written down were authentic. Oh God. I'm not crazy. Thank you. "Jac—I mean—Amara. Damn, is everything all right?" Andrew asked. She looked up at him and nodded. She was so confused, everything she had ever believed about herself was crumbling and yet it was all coming together. The feelings swimming inside of her couldn't be solidified. Amara wanted this man to hold her, to tell her everything was going to be fine. She also wanted to keep him at bay because he was a total stranger. Memories of Andrew, that he could have been making up, were all she had to go on. She yearned to be with him, to be able to remember what her mind hadn't shown her yet. Something in her heart wanted him. Fuck, she didn't know what she wanted. She despised crying, reviled letting her guard down. "I guess—I mean—I know this table. It's like flashing back or stepping through time. But how? How's all of this fucking possible? I've always accepted ghosts because my mind could handle that. The thought of vampires was great. I never thought we were real, not in the tangible sense. Humans 117

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drinking blood, yeah. Taking in energy, I can see that. I don't know—" Andrew put his hand under her chin. "I know how you feel. Trust me, I do. This is only the beginning. The human part of you says vampires don't exist, but your intuition, everything you have experienced says otherwise. It gets even more overwhelming and even better at the same time. I promise. No matter what happens, I'll be here for you." He leaned in and brushed her lips gently with his. He didn't push her. It was the best thing he could have done because it made her think again. The gesture made her want him. Made her want to explore every part of him. For a moment, she lost herself in that soft embrace and yearned to have his hands running over her flesh. To feel the electricity spark between them the way it had in the old days. She wanted what he had culled in her dream. Without thinking, she leaned in and held back a moan, but he pulled away. Amara looked at him and blushed. Her heart sank, but the look on his face made her think twice. "Come on." Amara wiped her eyes. She wanted to hide from the world and rediscover everything that turned her life upside down and right side up again. Could she handle any more upsets? She was here now. She shrugged and followed him through another door. It led down a hallway where she saw more stairs probably winding down to the servants' quarters. At the end was another door that was old and creaked on its hinges. When he opened it, Amara peeked out from behind him. They were headed into a huge library. Another fireplace ran along 118

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one wall and the others were laden with books. One wall was all windows and looked out onto the grounds and into the woods. Snow had started to accumulate on the ground. The lacy flakes fell slowly from the sky and were sticking to the glass panes. At the far end of the room was another set of chairs with a lamp and sofa. A pair of legs hung over the couch. "It's about time you got back. Damn storm. I was getting worried. Did you have fun on your little hunting spree? I said you wouldn't find any—" "Crimson," Andrew cut her off. Amara peered from behind him hoping he would somehow protect her. Her thoughts still swam, but at least the disorientation had worn off. This whole place gave her the shivers because she saw things on the walls that had only been in dreams before. "What is it? Did you see any ghosts? Something you just had to tell me about? Or did you really find something?" "You're such a bitch. You haven't changed. Will you get off your ass and come here for a second? There's someone here you want to say hello to." "Andrew, if you brought back another one of your conquests then I'm not interested in meeting the little slut. Take her up to your room and do whatever you want. Get rid of the body when you're finished. You know that's the only rule here. I'm sure she's as pretty as the last one. This little hunt of yours isn't going to get you anywhere. I told you, you won't be able to find anyone who looks exactly like Jacquelyn. The one I saw was a close comparison, but no cigar. She looked like she was a stuck up little bitch." 119

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Amara's eyes grew wide. Crimson hadn't recognized her in Trevor's mind. At least, she didn't believe it was her. Andrew had been searching for her? Her heart melted. She wondered how long his hunt had been going on. Maybe he'd been searching ever since he was a child. Who did this bitch think she was, calling her a stuck up little bitch? She stepped out from behind Andrew, her anger boiling away the insecurity of her situation. Andrew tried to catch her arm, but she ignored him. No one called her a bitch. "Who the fuck do you think you are, little miss thing? I'm certainly no one's conquest. I don't know what your deal is, but how dare you make assumptions about someone you don't even know. You won't even get off your ass to say hello in your shit-hole of a house." Amara saw Andrew cringing at every word. After a moment hazel-green eyes turned on her and before she knew it hands had wrapped around her throat. She wasn't going to stop there. Amara had been through too much in the past couple of days to give up the fight, even if this woman was some kind of vampire, even if she was the woman from her dreams. Her mind lashed out, sending a mental slap into the woman's mind. She tried to force her captor's hands off, but her grip was too strong. Still the mental whip made Crimson step back. Amara was surprised because she didn't think she could get into the woman's thoughts. Then something else happened. Her hunger rose, but there was an undertone. At certain times, she was able to access the vampiric part of herself, like the other night in the graveyard with her vision. This time she grabbed the woman's hands and pried them 120

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apart. The strength in the other woman was above normal. Amara's fangs dug into her tongue. Her heart slowed. The world became vibrant. Her gaze focused on Crimson. Amara saw the pulse in her throat beating slowly along with the pores of her skin. The chair the woman sat on was covered in dust. Amara forced the hands away and then shoved Crimson, who somersaulted over the couch and onto the floor, almost landing on the table. Amara licked her lips, realizing her fangs were sharp enough they could have been real. Then the strength was gone. She caught herself on the edge of the sofa while someone else helped Crimson up. Andrew stood by Amara's side. At first Amara thought it was Trevor, but when he looked at her a scream caught in her throat. Instinct took over. She bolted across the hall, bumping into something. A body. Hands came around her and stopped her struggling. "Amara! What the hell are you doing here?" "Trevor! You're alive. I thought you were, but I wasn't sure. What the hell is going on? Why did you disappear? Did you know Lydia called me and I drove my ass up here from Charlotte?" Her friend smiled and then ushered her back to the others. Andrew looked at her and the man who towered over everyone in the room, including Trevor. "What the fuck is he doing here?" Andrew growled, slipping into a fight stance. Crimson glanced at Andrew and then at the man next to her, then at Amara. "You found her. Good Goddess, Andrew, you found Jacquelyn." 121

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Andrew ignored her. "Crys, what the fuck is Simon doing here? He just tried to kill her and you have him here. After all this! Don't tell me he's playing the insanity card again and you're buying into it?" "What do you mean, I tried to kill her? I've been here with Trevor and Crys. We've been getting reacquainted," said Simon. Tears streamed down Amara's face. "No, you killed Lydia. I saw her body. You were on top of my car. You put a fucking sword through my windshield. You're supposed to be dead." She looked at Crimson. "You killed him. I saw you take his heart. How can he be alive? What the fuck is going on? Will someone please tell me?" Whatever walls that were around Amara's emotions crumbled. She crumpled to her knees and started crying. Andrew took her from Trevor and led her to the couch, but snarled at Simon when he stepped closer to her. Crimson looked at them both, dumbfounded. "You've got to be kidding. She can't be hysterical again. The past was one thing, but now..." "Oh shut up. She's been through enough. She found Lydia's dead body. And I knocked Simon off of her car. He nearly took my head. I barely got away until a cop came into the cemetery and broke the fight up," Andrew muttered. Simon shook his head. "It wasn't me." "Then how do you explain the wound on my shoulder and the fucking hole I have in my windshield?" "Lydia's dead?" Trevor asked. 122

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"Yes, she's fucking dead. No head, in a morgue. What do you think? Dead, pushing up daisies and this fucker did it," Amara sniffled. "He's been here with me. Catching up on old times, helping me hone my skills. It has been a while since I picked up a blade. Can you believe they still had my old axe? Man, it's like riding a bike. Once I started with it, it all came back." "You know, Tre, that's fucking great. You want to talk about an axe when this guy attacked me. Who cares about honing your weaponry skills when we need to figure out what the hell is going on here?" Amara grumbled. "Please, everyone, sit. I think that Crimson has a lot of explaining to do," Simon interjected. "You can fucking say that again." Amara crossed her arms over her chest. Andrew kept Amara close. "How can you be alive? I saw her kill you. She tore your heart out. I saw it." Amara shook her head and stared at the woman across from her. This was not happening. It was a bad dream and she had been transported to some alternate dimension by a very fucked up tornado to a place where there were vampires instead of munchkins. "You couldn't. You were dead," Crimson whispered. The look of shock on her face at Amara's confession was evident. Amara noticed the look of disbelief. "I stayed long enough to make sure that you finished it. Then I winked out and ended up back here. Being human is so much fun, especially when you aren't one," Amara said sarcastically. "Some kind of explanation would be great. All of this is heading into the 123

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Twilight Zone. I can deal with vampires, reincarnation, even the fact that what I remembered is past life shit. It explains a hell of a lot in my life. I can believe the man who made me a vampire has come back. I'm sitting next to him. He might be the real immortal kind. I can deal with Trevor being alive and probably being an undead bloodsucker who sleeps in a coffin because the sun will fry him. I can deal with a lot of shit. What I can't get is the insane asshole who slaughtered all of our friends in the past, the one we were trying to kill, is sitting in front of me." "Love, they do need to understand the truth behind it all," Simon muttered while caressing Crimson's hair. Crimson looked at the group of vampires and settled more into her seat. Simon stood beside her with his hand on her shoulder. Amara looked at the two and cringed. She couldn't believe she was sitting calmly, about to listen to the murderer of one of her best friends. Had she lost her mind? Apparently. "I suppose you're right. Amara, I can understand your confusion. I have not experienced the exact situation you're going through, but there are others that have. Many have found me over the years, but I wasn't entirely sure it was possible for the events to be occurring the way they are. Then I heard about the killings. At first, I only thought it was one of those human serial killers. With the way things have been playing out, it seems the past has reawakened in others. Old agendas are alive and well. Simon, why don't you leave us for a while? It would be better, love. You're making Andrew and his guest uncomfortable." 124

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The other vampire said nothing. Amara watched him walk out and remembered hearing his voice echoing in her mind, felt the snap of her back being broken, and the sudden pain that filled her. Hatred overwhelmed her heart. She wanted to race after him and grab one of the swords from the wall, so she could take his heart herself. Crimson would try to stop her and that wouldn't be a good thing from her show of strength. Amara wasn't sure how she had wrenched herself free from the vampire, but she had. Hell, if they were all vampires then maybe she was becoming the next undead superhero. "Mar, how did you find me? How did you know I was gone?" Trevor asked. "Lyd called me in a panic and said you missed some dinner thing and never called. Which we both know is very unlike you. She waited. Then Josh disappeared too. She told me to get my ass up from Charlotte. She hoped I'd be able to find you using my psychic powers. Well, she was right. Tre, when did this happen to you? How? I mean, what the hell happened? I have this suffocating migraine and feel like I'm dying and then I realize it's coming from you. I know we don't talk for years on end, but why didn't you call me or tell me what you found? Or are you all still pulling my leg about this whole undead-coffin-sleeping bullshit?" Trevor looked at Crimson. Amara almost groaned because he looked to her for approval. Who was this bitch that she thought she could run all of their lives?

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"Later. Okay? I want to hear what's going on first. I promise we'll talk. I meant to call you, but it's a long story," Trevor chimed in. "Fine. Whatever. So, bitch, what's your story?" Crimson smiled, but Amara sensed her irritation. Her aura jumped all over the place and Amara felt Crimson trying to hold herself together. Amara guessed she didn't enjoy her little perfect life being interrupted anymore than Amara did. Hey, who could blame her? In the past few days, Amara had driven seventeen hours across the country only to find the friend she had thought was missing or dead was still alive. She had become the target of a sword-wielding psycho who was probably now under the same roof with her, and to top it all off she had discovered all of her past life memories were real. In all, she was having a really bad week and she wanted answers. "Jacquelyn, I have prayed you would return. I thought maybe you wouldn't realize who you were. The others have been buried under so many human lifetimes I'm surprised their memories surfaced, but you're back so quickly. It's been lonely without you around. After you died, something in Simon snapped. I don't know what it was, but the haze he'd survived in evaporated. With your death, the curse Kathryn put on him lifted. When I touched his heart, he looked up at me and I saw the man I loved. I hadn't seen that in centuries. Granted, I had glimpses and then he would be gone again, locked behind the hunter persona, but when he looked at me and I saw the pain of what he had done and his recognition of me, I couldn't kill him. I lost everything when you died. All of 126

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you were gone. I couldn't kill him, not when I knew he was in there. "When we were in that glade he truly was insane, but when he said my name and begged for his life, I had to try. I vowed that if he did get lost in the darkness of his mind again, then I'd take his head. No one would have to worry about him coming back. I had resigned myself to that. Even now I would do the same thing. I'm tired. It's been a lonely century without my friends, having no one to hunt with. Especially you, Jacquelyn. You were my night-sister. You and I had even talked about you inheriting my powers so you could become the Record Keeper one day. It was the one thing keeping me sane. That and the coming century. Do you remember any of that? Do you remember what powers you had inherited from me?" Amara had recalled some of it from the memory that hit her outside, but she couldn't grasp the complete thought, only that Crimson had a special role among the vampires. She was connected to all of them because she was descended from the original mother of them all. "I'm not completely sure. Sorry." Crimson went to one of the shelves and took out a rather large volume. It rang a bell in Amara's mind. Crimson handed it carefully to her and opened it to a specific page. On it were names and lines. It appeared to be a family tree. Amara saw Jacquelyn underneath Andrew, and Magdalena under her, followed by another name that she couldn't read. Also, under Andrew's name, was Anna. It stopped there. Magdalena had one under her name. There were dates next to the entries. 127

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This was the lineage of all the vampires. There must have been hundreds of pages filled with names and dates. "I'm working on the rest of it. When vampires are made, I know their names and who made them. I have the knowledge instinctually. I'm linked to all of them. The web which binds us together grows brighter and stronger every day. More of us are coming back and their stars are adding to the points. It's remarkable. The first among us wanted there to be a record of her children in case something happened. She wrote prophecies of events within the race. All the Record Keepers through the ages have had the ability. I started having visions of the killer even before I knew it was Simon, but I didn't put them together until years later. "About fifty years ago, I started having dreams. I saw my old friends. I believe in reincarnation. I saw it with Trevor even back before any of you realized he was dead in the past. He became a vampire again so I knew we could come back even if our true natures were buried under lifetimes of humanity. That side of us has to be reawakened. Then I started having dreams about all of us sitting in a room like this, but you had different faces. I dismissed them for longings of the past. "Over the years I saw and felt things were changing in the human world. The old ways were re-emerging. Witches weren't being prosecuted and the stirrings of magick were reappearing. This century is an odd one. I thought, maybe, humanity would kill itself with all its inventions and the things they're doing to the earth. I've learned to live among mortals and have taken myself out of the community, remaining 128

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involved through email and the computer, which is a strange beast in its own right. At first vampirelings sought me out, hearing or feeling they needed to speak with me. Some remembered their heritage and the community among us. Then one came to me. He was no more than three years into the night, but when he introduced himself, he said his name was Valan. That isn't the most common of names. He started talking about old times, about the castle. These were things he shouldn't have known, but I listened, and was skeptical at first. Then I remembered years ago I'd seen that we'd all be together again." Crimson paused and looked at Amara, who was huddled in Andrew's arms. "As the Internet progressed and I learned how to use it, there were talks among the humans about psychic vampires. Some theories were nonsense, about how vampires came about by genetic mutation. I noticed there was a theory floating around that maybe some were vampires because they had been reincarnated. These were humans coming up with these ideas. Those who had died were awakening. So I began to post and hoped there would be others. But no one responded, until I got this strange message from Trevor. That was two years ago. It took him this long to get his ass here so we could make absolutely sure. Trevor told me about the group he grew up with. He mentioned you, Amara. I only hoped that it was you. Once I saw him, the past came alive again. I hoped that all of us would return. Andrew was the next. I had missed you and wanted to share the night with you again. And that's it." Crimson started running her fingers over the velvet of the chair, picking off some lint. 129

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Crimson had known all along that vampires were coming back and she hadn't done anything about it. "Let me get this straight. You knew we were all being reincarnated. Why not leave better bread crumbs? I've been on the sites, too, and most are loads of shit. I didn't even think Trevor really believed in all of this. We talked about the past in high school, but he always questioned it. Tre, when did you start believing in all of it?" Trevor laughed a rich baritone. "I was at this Goth club and I was making out with this chick and she bit me. I thought she had caps, but there was something in her eyes that made me wonder. Something seemed really familiar. We hit it off and it wasn't about getting her into bed. It was something else. She wiped the blood from her lips and then looked at me strangely because she had gotten a glimpse of my memories. She asked me if I knew anyone named Crimson. I told her no, but I remembered someone by the name and we used to live in a castle in England. She then asked me if I knew the name Deanna. I hadn't thought about the past in a long time. I have enough trouble trying to reconcile with the now, but the name was familiar. She said she was a vampire, a real vampire. She became one on a fluke hit and run, but when she turned, all of her memories came back. I had turned her in the past and she considered me her true maker even though she had the blood of another running through her veins. She offered to bring back everything locked behind the walls of my mind. It was a lot to swallow at first, but we got together more and fooled around, but I wasn't ready then so she said she would keep in touch. 130

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"I thought about what we used to talk about in high school and realized we were still connected. I assumed I could keep you out of my mind even then, Mara, but you always found a way inside." He paused and smiled at her. "Yeah, I knew you were snooping the other night. I wasn't expecting it. I didn't realize Lydia had called you. I was planning on it, but I wanted to talk to Andrew first. You were so unhappy back then. I wasn't sure it would be the best thing for you to be turned again. But you had to know." She reached over and punched him hard in the upper arm. It only rocked him to the side. "Damn you, Tre! Why did you think I wouldn't be able to accept it all? Do you know how much I hate being this way? I was the one who took on the heritage of what I was, more than you. I've lived with it since I was twelve, pushing off the hunger when you ignored it and threw it behind your walls because you could. You should have told all of us once you realized. Lydia would still be alive. I wouldn't feel like some old hag who's going crazy. You're such a pain in my ass." "Yeah, but you love me anyway," he chuckled. "Whatever." "So, what's with the hunter? If Simon isn't the one killing everyone again, then who is?" Crimson sighed. "I have a feeling that Kathryn may have found herself another lackey. I was flipping through my latest records and saw she has reincarnated. It's been four hundred years and numerous human lifetimes so I assumed she wouldn't remember her life before, let alone her hatred for being a vampire. She wasn't turned by force. Guess old habits 131

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die hard. Kathryn must know about the Second Born, those that are coming back. Now she's started killing them off. I've scanned the papers around the country and have discovered other killings. All beheaded. I wasn't sure at first. That was why I thought it was a serial killer, but it seems Kathryn is up to her old tricks and found someone who looks exactly like Simon to be her crusader. From what Andrew has told me, I can understand why you assumed it was Simon. Kathryn's playing mind games. She was powerful in the past and she may have regained her full strength." "So she happened to find out about our little group from high school and decided to kill us because we were going to turn into vampires again? What kind of a threat are we when we only have our memories? Besides, I don't remember Kathryn." Amara went to look out the window. All of this was a little farfetched. She remembered in the past how the hunter had told her she was nothing. That was why her life had been spared and she was allowed to spend the last few moments with Andrew dying in her arms. Simon hadn't considered her a threat, and he had been surprised when she showed up to fight him with Crimson ages ago. "Kathryn created Simon. She hated being a vampire because she never wanted to be one. It was forced on her by her twin. Once she realized what she'd become she went insane. She was powerful when she made her children and was able to make them believe anything she wanted. She experimented and discovered some kind of mental hold stronger than the one a master usually has with its children. They became her ears and eyes. Then she found perfection in 132

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Simon. Kathryn seduced him by offering him immortality. He was a sorcerer and knew the Old Ways, the last in a long line of Druids. In him, she found the perfect killer. He would go for years being totally under her control. She sought to kill every vampire, or at least all of the strong ones, thinking then the species would never survive. He found me and we fell in love. He was safe for many years until Kathryn called him again. He started hunting those in the castle without my knowledge. I blamed the deaths on another. By the time I realized, Andrew was dead, as were Deanna and Valan. Half of my friends were gone and you weren't here. You were still mourning the death of your own child Magdalena because you and she were so close. Honestly, I never thought you had it in you to make another vampire, but you did. Afterwards you were even more in love with Andrew than you had been before. At first I couldn't stand you, you were a sniveling spoiled brat—" Crimson explained. Amara cut her off. "That you thought would never make it in the night. That's what you told Andrew on the night of my creation. Yeah, it's one of the more vivid memories I've been able to hold onto over the years. They've been haunting my dreams since I was a kid. There are others, like when I forced you to realize we had to kill Simon. Okay, I get Kathryn. She's a nut job who thinks she needs to cleanse the world of evil. You think she was remade and now is coming after those who are near to awakening and killing them before they can regain their memories. How can she do that? I assume she's not instantly connected to all the vampires in the world when 133

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they are born, right? Then how can she find the ones who are awakening?" "I'm not sure. I think she can sense them somehow. She was always a strong psychic. She can hone in on the energy difference in those who have awakened. Your aura is different from normal humans. It vibrates higher. Being sanguine vampires, we vibrate higher than you. She might sense that differential." Amara nodded. She understood what Crimson said because of her own psychic experiences. "It makes sense, I guess. Why me? How did she, and you, find out about us?" "She must have infiltrated one of your other friends. Do you know of any others who are missing? I've been posting on the net and any good vampire or hunter would be able to look for clues and determine who's real and who isn't. I've always been very careful who I met in person. I met a couple of would-be hunters once. They were full of it. When I showed them I was the real thing they shit and ran. It was quite funny, but they were never a threat. I'm sure you're careful when you do readings. Even those of us who are not completely awakened are semi-psychic. I'm surprised you're more powerful than you were before." "I'm not sure about others. Josh is gone. He has a tendency to run off so I'm not too worried about him. At least I know you're alive, Tre. Or is the term sunlight-challenged now?" Amara asked. Trevor shook his head and held in a chuckle. Andrew sighed. Amara giggled and focused her gaze back on Crimson. Fatigue was settling in her bones. "Well, I figured my powers 134

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had to manifest the only way they could. It isn't like magick is alive and well in this day and age, so I'm left with reading cards for money and listening to the sob stories of spirits. It gets rather tiresome." Amara turned from the window and looked at the three vampires in the room. What Crimson said weighed heavily on her mind. Kathryn was back and killing again, all because her soul was infected with the hatred of her predicament from the past. Still, something about it didn't feel right. There was no way she had gotten to Josh. Amara would have sensed it. Now her instincts told her to be alert. She figured it was the presence of Simon lingering in the castle because her hatred and fear of him were raw. Trevor wouldn't lie to her, or at least the Trevor she grew up with wouldn't. She wasn't so sure about the newly vamped Trevor. Would he lie to her now to protect the other vampires? All for one and shit? He hadn't known about Lydia dying. That didn't surprise her. He never explored the psychic link between them. He always relied on her to tell him if some big shit was going on. So yeah, her instincts said to trust him. Crimson she was accepting more and more. Everything said to trust their friendship. Everything she said was logical. She was still a little shaky on the whole Record Keeper thing and how it pertained to her. What else could this chick do? Amara stifled a yawn. Sleep was still a definite need, no matter if these guys were night owls or not. Her body still ran on a human clock. "Now that we have some of it squared away, can I lie down or something? I'm sorry, but my human stamina is 135

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about gone. I'd love to be on a completely nocturnal schedule, but I need a bed. Do you mind?" "Not at all. I keep forgetting you're not one of us. I was hoping you'd come back to the fold sooner or later. I have a room here for you. I know it's presumptuous, but it's yours no matter what you want to do with it. It's good to have you back, Jacquelyn. Amara. Sorry," Crimson replied. "It's fine. I'm getting used to it." Crimson smiled and took Amara in her arms and gave her a quick hug. "It's good to see you again, old friend." There were tears in the vampire's eyes. Amara nodded, not sure if she had the same kinship. They were friends, but a lifetime and a century separated them and she didn't know if this was still some bad dream. "I'll show you to your room." Amara glanced at Andrew who nodded for her to go. Relief flooded her. Bed was calling and Andrew would be there if she needed anything. Amara followed the vampire out of the library and back the way she had come. She went up the stairs and saw the walls were covered in aging tapestries mixed with modern day prints haphazardly thrown together. It made the place more original. On the second story, they went down a long hall and stopped at the third door down. Crimson opened it and ushered Amara in. Once she went in, Amara nearly fell over. The room was much like she'd remembered it. The same four-poster bed, with a trunk at the end, was in the middle. Heavy black curtains hung over the windows that opened out onto a balcony. There was a vanity with a large mirror and toiletries laid out. A wardrobe that had one door open let her 136

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know there were clothes already in it. A Persian rug was on the floor along with several other area rugs. There were also electric lights and a clock on the bedside table. Her bags had been brought up. The bed curtains were thin gauze. There was even a laptop nestled in the corner by the window settled on an antique desk. Things were the same, and yet they were different. "Wow." "I only saved a few things from the old castle before it burned. I was in the process of moving, then one night it went up in smoke. Damn villagers. Thank the Gods I had moved the library and the table first. I moved some of your things; I couldn't get rid of them. I'm sorry, but I wasn't able to save your loom. I think the dresses are your size and style. I wasn't sure when I was going to see you again. I hoped soon. Trevor told me about you in high school and gave me a sense of what you were like. In the past we normally had the same taste in clothes so I hope these will be okay." "You did this all for me?" "You were my best friend. You stuck with me when no one else would. You gave your life. I always prayed to the Goddess that I'd see you again. I know you don't remember everything and you don't trust me. Honestly, I won't hurt you. We've always had our differences, but we were nightsisters at the very core. If you decide to stay or go, or whatever you do, this can always be your home. It's been a long night for all of us, but I was wondering if you would indulge me for one more second." 137

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Amara nodded and looked around the room. The mirror was cloudy, but not from dirt because it wasn't glass, but polished metal. Crimson got something out of the top drawer that was wrapped in cloth. She handed it to Amara, who unwrapped it slowly, feeling the weight. Inside was a green and gold necklace made of emeralds. "Do you remember this?" Amara studied it and held it against her throat. A memory stirred. Both of them staring in the mirror while Amara tried it on and her being angry. "You had this made for me because I complained I didn't have any emeralds. When you gave it to me, the stones weren't the right color. They didn't go with my dress or something stupid. I threw it at you and you threw me across the room. I never questioned anything you gave me again." Crimson smiled. "Yes. I'm glad you remember. I found it in one of the drawers when I was going through them. It was in the back wrapped up. I didn't realize you'd kept it. I want you to have it again." "I can't take this. I don't know you. You don't know me, not really. You remember the person you knew. I appreciate the thought, but I can't accept this." "No matter, I know you. Deep down you haven't changed that much. You might bear another name and a different face, but your heart remains the same. This is a lot for you, I understand, but you'll always be my friend. Even if you decide to stay human, have children, and eventually die. Your home is here with us. And this is yours. So please take it. I'm sorry about downstairs, but you pissed me off. I assumed Andrew 138

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had brought another one of his trysts back with him, but you surprised me. It was a good surprise. He's changed, you know. He's had lifetimes to make up for what he did to you. Even through all the human memories, his love for you remains. I know you have feelings for him too, but you have to find them in your own time. "Don't let him pressure you into anything. I'm sure you don't want to come to hate him again because he stole your humanity away. So for now, sleep and make yourself at home. You are safe here. Kathryn doesn't know where I reside. We can worry about her later when you're more acclimatized to all of this. Good night." "Night, Crys." Amara smiled and the vampire returned the gesture. She left the room and closed the door. Putting the necklace down, Amara explored and found a bathroom adjoining her suite. In it was a claw foot tub surrounded by candles and toiletries. A bubble bath was what she needed. While she undressed, she lit the candles and some incense. After watching the snowfall for a while, she was relaxed enough that bed called. She explored the wardrobe and found a Victorian style nightgown. She threw it on before she climbed beneath the sheets, letting dreams come to her. For once, she was grateful they weren't memories. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eleven Amara woke with deep cramps in her belly that soon began crawling up to her throat and into her limbs. Her body called for nourishment. She pressed her fingers into her palms, hoping the pain would drive the hunger away. How could she tell anyone here? They would understand, but she didn't want to appear weak. Her need flared again. She doubled over, moaning softly. Since she was around the other vampires, her body was somehow reacting to them, forcing her cravings for blood to become stronger. "You're hungry again." Andrew leaned against the balcony doors. It had stopped snowing a while ago and the moon was near full, casting shadows on his bare chest. The light caught his midnight blue pants and reflected off them. He took her breath away and reminded her of an incubus come to seduce her in the night. If she wasn't in agony, she might have run with the seduction idea. "Yes," she whispered. "What're you doing here?" She regained her voice. The pain overwhelmed her, leaving a hollow ache in her midsection. "I didn't mean to intrude. It seems I can't stay away from you. It's hard to believe you're truly here again with me ... Amara. Sometimes this whole existence still seems like a dream and I think I should be back with my band rockin' out. We were actually doing pretty well. The other life seems so trivial, but I'm still very much a part of it. Do you understand?" 140

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"I think I'm beginning to. All of this seems unreal, but I'm dealing. Fuck—" Amara bit her lip and tasted blood. She hoped this would calm her cravings, but the coppery fluid only ignited the hunger, flaring it through her body. Andrew sat on the edge of the bed. Amara was well aware her gown was sheer so she clutched the sheet to her chest. The way he looked at her made her melt inside. The attraction between them which spanned lifetimes and centuries flared to life. He had been right all along. They were bound by ties nothing could break. Even if he wasn't linked into her mind now, she would have been drawn to him. He might have been a stranger, but her soul knew this man. His touch was gentle as he stroked her cheek. Her body flushed between cold and hot. Her heart beat rapidly and everything in her tried not to fall under his spell. "You've always been so stubborn, love. Why do you fight your nature? Here you can give into your desires. We will not look at you strangely. We are the same." Amara forced the pain down so she could think rationally and not be consumed. "I've been fighting it all my life. It hasn't gotten the better of me yet. It never will. Why do you always insist on being the dutiful parent?" "Because it's in my nature, Ja—" he stopped and started laughing. "This is very much like old times. What your future holds is your choice. I will not force you to feed. I'll leave or stay. It's your choice." Amara stared at the floor. What was unfolding inside of her was part of who she was, part of the past becoming her present. This time she was in control of her destiny. The 141

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tables were turned. If he stayed, then she knew what might happen. Did she want that? She didn't know if she was ready for eternity. It did beat living in humanity, but could she trust this man? Her body knew him and was drawn to him. She'd had one-night stands before, but they'd never been satisfying. If she was going to pursue the feelings between the two of them, the guy back home was out of the picture. Besides, sex with him had never been that great. He was too normal a guy and her tastes ran more to the exotic. And Andrew definitely was in that category. Swallowing her fear and trying to regain her hold on her body, she met his steelgray eyes. "I don't want you to go." Andrew smiled. "I hoped you'd say that. I can ease your hunger, but there are consequences. You understand what can happen." His thumb traced her jaw line. Amara nodded, enjoying the sensation, but the only way to find peace within herself was to reawaken who she used to be, even if she lost who she was. Andrew lifted her chin. When he did she saw his fangs descending from his gums. Her heart stopped watching this, knowing that he really wasn't lying. A shiver of instinctual terror ran through her, appealing to her humanity. In that moment, fear and awe held her unmoving to the bed. There really were undead, coffin-sleeping bloodsuckers. "It would shock your system too much if I drank from you. I ache to though. I want to taste every part of you and make up for all the years of loneliness you endured. I have loved you since before we ever met. I loved you lifetimes ago even 142

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when you were a child and thought me to be a spirit. In all of the hatred that passed my lips, I always loved you. Your hunger is brought on by being with me. I wonder, even if you were not to choose this life, if the choice would be made for you because your soul would begin to manifest the change outwardly and inwardly? You didn't have lifetimes to bury what you were. You died and came right back. That in itself is a miracle. Before we explore the past, you have to feed." Amara clutched her abdomen because another slice of pain hit her. She doubled over. Tears spilled onto the sheet. Andrew ran his hand down her back. She shivered from his nails trailing over every vertebra. She was short of breath when he lifted her up and held her in his arms. Without hesitating, Andrew bit into his wrist and held it to her. She licked her dry lips. Tentatively, she took his wrist to her mouth. Once the taste and texture hit her throat, she knew her cravings would be sated. It had been years since she'd had blood, especially from one of her own kind. Her phantom fangs ripped through her gums. She bit down into the soft flesh and drank greedily. Andrew jumped and tried to pull his hand away, but she held him firm. More hot blood flowed into her mouth. As she took the liquid in, she flashed back to years ago when her friends had sliced themselves with razor blades. They would gather at one another's house in high school and talk about the past. It had been great and she wore scars on her wrists for years. She only donated once in a while. She had tasted all of her friends and that bound her closer to them. Even now, she sensed Trevor in the house. He was 143

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active. When she focused, Amara heard the clinking of swords and assumed he was sparring with Crimson the way they had in the old days. Josh was still a long way off. The only one that was missing was Lydia and Amara realized she might never know if her friend truly rested in peace. Finally, Amara drank until cramps no longer buckled her body and her thirst was quenched. It had been a long time since she had completely let herself get lost in her nature. It felt good. When she looked up, she stared at Andrew for a long time. Moonlight accentuated his pale chest that looked like it had been carved from marble. His nipples were small and pert from the draft in the room. A crescent shaped wound was already healing on his wrist where she had bitten down. Amara watched in fascination as his skin knitted back together. It drove another nail in the coffin, showing her that this was really true. His hair settled around his neck. She caught herself staring at his throat and how it was angled, just enough so that if she looked closely she saw flutter of his pulse. She moved her attention from his neck to his eyes. They studied her as well. She was trembling from the sudden meal and heat seared her features, making her hotter the longer she stared at him. She longed to lay him on the bed and wondered if he wanted her the same way. The pull between them tugged on her soul and she could hardly imagine that she had hated him so long ago. It didn't seem possible. Finally, she reached out to caress his face, but drew her hand back before it even touched his aura. She was 144

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terrified at what she would do, because she desired him so much. "Thank you. You didn't have to offer what you did. There's so much I want to say, but it the words are stuck. Things I never got to say and things that I said and never should have. I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you. I know, now, you were only doing what you thought was best. I learned that over the centuries. I learned by having my own progeny, but then she died by the very hands I went to fight against. Strange I remember that now. Her lying in my arms with the stake protruding from her chest. Simon thought he was going after me, but he found my daughter instead. Then with you, I don't know why he spared me, maybe because I had injured him or he'd recovered his sanity. I lost myself for a while when you both died. My mind shattered. I don't really remember what happened then, except telling Crimson she had to call out her Master. I'm really grateful for everything. I'm thankful you gave me life in darkness. I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I wanted you to know that," she whispered, crying for the umpteenth time when she'd sworn she wouldn't. Andrew traced her lips, wiping the tears from her cheeks. His caress was soft and his skin cool against hers. The places where he touched tingled. Amara relaxed a little under his touch. His blood coursed hot through her insides and she wanted to writhe with it, move in time with his beating heart until her muscles were clenching, hovering on the verge of orgasm. If his blood did this to her, then what would the sweet embrace of his hands gliding across her flesh do? She 145

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shook her head dismissing the idea and reminded herself that feeding and lust went hand in hand. "I know, love. I'm sorry for what happened to you. I wanted to hold onto you when Simon took my life. I slipped away, leaving you behind and there was nothing I could do except believe that one day I'd see you again. I was such an asshole, but I've changed. Now we have a second chance to make things right, to rediscover who we are and what we were. If you'll let me." Amara smiled. She already felt lightheaded and slightly thirsty. A shiver ran through her when she crossed her arms over her chest. She moved to the window, to get away from him and from the fantasies in her mind. Away from what she might do to him, even though she had an inkling he would let her do anything. The snow rode the wind, dancing this way and that. Her old life seemed a long way off. The woods called to her. The darkness inside the forest felt safe, safer than being in the house, than being caught between life and death. The shadows would show her kindness and tell her secrets she had never known in her daytime existence. For the first time, feeling like the spirits she spoke to, transparent and lost. "What will happen now? Will I lose all that I was?" Andrew wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back into him. Their bodies merged perfectly, leaving her amazed. Amara felt him hard and throbbing against her backside. He inhaled the scent of her hair and she nestled closer into him. One quick motion and she could meet him face to face, feel his lips against hers, embrace the teeth that 146

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were hidden behind his smile with her tongue, and feel their hardness for herself. "No. The blood will begin to unlock what has been buried. To complete the transformation you have to die and be reborn. The more blood you ingest, the easier it will be for you to deal with the oncoming hunger. It won't be like last time, when you passed out and woke up a vampire. I'll be there for you, I promise. This time Crimson won't lecture me about you not being ready to join us. I want it between you and me. With my lips and fingers exploring every part of you. I ache to taste all of you, sink myself into your flesh and know what makes you come. Now is not the time. Your mistrust of me is genuine. You're conflicted and feeling what was and what could be. I don't want to take advantage. For now, you should rest. The blood will take its toll on you. Your human body will fight it and you might feel sick tomorrow. I'm not sure how truly human your physique is. So we'll have to see. Now go back to sleep." Andrew kissed the top of her head and spent one more long moment embracing her before he pulled away. The space his body created felt cold and she felt naked all over again. She stood frozen hearing his footfalls pressing against the carpet and the snow landing on the railing outside, crunching together as it settled down. Already the colors were popping to life with the outlines of things that before were obscured in the darkness. For the first time, she understood the outlines of color she saw around people were not in her head. She truly was seeing their auras. 147

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All the times she had imagined Andrew taking her away when she was younger, the romanticized fantasizes of a fifteen-year-old spun in her head. She had never thought it would all come to be real. Vampires were supposed to be in books or from a past she only vaguely remembered. Now she was living the dream and her mind might have known what was going to happen, but her body didn't. What he'd said was so true. Part of her had no faith in him, didn't know him. She wanted that part to be silent. She yearned for it to be. Her instincts said he was sincere. Her head was talking, but she was going to listen to her heart. "I don't want you to go." She turned and stared at him aware he was giving her the choice on how the night would progress. Andrew stopped and turned. Amara walked a few steps forward, chewing on her lip. This was the most insecure she had felt in years. How did I talk to a guy I know I slept with hundreds of years ago, a guy who, in this lifetime, I had no idea where to touch or how to stroke? "God, I hardly know you. But I remember your body." She placed her hand on his chest lightly, not sure if he would evaporate. Her fingers trembled because of the energy he gave off and her own nervousness. His skin was warm, but cooler than her own. His heart beat slowly underneath her palm. Andrew breathed less than she had noticed before. He stood waiting for her to make the next move because he was not going to force himself on her. "I remember hating you for making me into a creature of the night. Those feelings are 148

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still there, almost raw because I'm waking up, but there are more powerful ones." She studied his features, comparing them to the ones she remembered. He looked similar to her memories. His eyes were spaced further apart, his nose more smoothly cut than before, and his hair was a shade darker. However, his eyes were the same ones she had stared into centuries ago. They still held her stunned and while she watched they darkened. She leaned in and kissed him, waiting for a response. He drew in a sharp breath and then after a moment his arms were around her, taking away the nervousness and the cold. His touch inflamed her. Her hesitation fell away. She was foolish to think he wouldn't accept her for who she was. Their lips locked. His mouth was soft against her. She let her tongue explore the hardness of his fangs while his touched hers. His hard cock rested against her thigh, pressing through the thin material of his pajama bottoms. She kissed him slowly running her tongue over the needle points and made it a point to stab herself. He cupped her ass and lifted her up, squeezing her harder. It felt like all her bones would crack from the pressure of his grip, but she wanted more. He kissed her harder, sucking on her tongue. Her hands sought his shaft, running up his length through his pants. Her fingers played with the elastic, threatening to dive down. Just a few more inches and his dick would slide between her fingers and then her mouth tasting him. She heard him stifle a moan but he pushed her away before she could get any further. The thick rug cushioned her fall. Every place he had caressed still burned. When she 149

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looked up, Andrew's eyes blazed with hunger. His chest heaved and his fists were balled tight by his sides. "You always were a tease, love. I should go before this goes any further and you revile me again." "Who's teasing?" "If we start this tonight, you might not be human in the morning. I don't want your hatred stuck with me for centuries once more. I'll stay if it's truly what you want." Amara knew he was serious. She might want her half-life to be over, but she didn't know if she was ready to completely give up whatever humanity she had left. Now she looked at everything from a different perspective. What of her family? Could she still interact with them? Would it be like before when she could venture out in the sun? Andrew had and it hadn't seemed to have fazed him. Would she still be able to eat? What were the actual things she would have to give up? She had wrestled with the idea in her sleep going back and forth between her humanity and her vampiric nature. She still didn't know the answer. By taking in Andrew's blood tonight, she had started on the journey of reinventing her past, but he said she could turn gradually. Did she want to throw her mortality away in one night of passion, when there could be so many more with the two of them getting reacquainted? She sighed. She had so many questions sitting on the edge of her brain, but no way to voice them. Things were still happening. She had to know about Lydia's death and why the hunter was after them. Could she start a life knowing she was going to be hunted for the rest of it? Did she want to always live on the run and never be able to enjoy her existence? 150

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Andrew was sincere, but she also sensed the blood loss had affected him and his hunger was rising. She might not have been truly human, but her blood was human enough. "I want you to stay. But you're right. It's best if you go. There will be other nights for us to catch up. Thank you." Amara crawled into bed. "I want you to be happy, love. I've always wanted that." Andrew leaned over and then stopped. Amara met his eyes and longing swept through her. She arched forward ready to meet his lips, but he did nothing more than brush his kiss against her forehead and pull the blankets up to her chest. "Sleep well, Amara. You're safe here." Amara nodded and closed her eyes, feeling the loneliness that echoed in her soul calling out for the man she had turned away. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twelve Consciousness came to Amara slowly. The warmth of the blankets and her surroundings threatened to pull her back under. Her mind tried to get her to wake up, while her body was comfortable and heavy. Her limbs were heavy and she had an odd metallic taste in her mouth. Finally, after drifting in and out for a while, she pushed the smothering covers off and planted her feet on the cold floor. That was a shock to her system, and it ran up into her bones, eventually forcing her eyes open. Immediately she curled her feet up under her, dropped back onto the bed, and looked at the room she was in. She glanced outside. The sun was shining and a clock showed two in the afternoon. She had slept the whole morning yet she felt wonderful and rejuvenated. There was no trace of the hunger. Her energy hummed along happily. She was hungry for something salty. She hoped there was a kitchen stocked with chips or something that would ease her cravings. She took in a breath and decided she was going to explore the place first. Crimson won't mind if I look around even though everyone is sleeping, being vampires and all. She pulled her nightgown off, flicked through the clothes in the wardrobe, and found there were dresses, skirts, corsets, everything she was drawn to. Crimson did indeed know what she liked. Amara chose a red peasant blouse and a black skirt with slits on both sides and a rose design embroidered into it. She searched the drawers of the wardrobe and found socks 152

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and hidden away in a cubby was a place for shoes. Crimson had thought of everything. She pulled on a pair of soft leather boots that came up to her knees. When she was done, she studied her face in the polished metal and was surprised to see her skin seemed smoother than before. Her features were more accented. Her flesh wasn't flawless, but something was certainly different. It seemed bleached out a little bit. Her hair was a shade darker, with more highlights in it than she remembered. The fading sun caught the red and bronze tinges making them shine. Even her dark eyes were more pronounced. Staring in the metal mirror, her psychic abilities flared to life. An itching on the back of her neck moved down her spine. Something was close. She didn't sense any ghosts around. There were no cold chills or disembodied voices vying for her attention. On a hunch, she went into her bags and dug out her journal and a pack of Tarot cards that she had brought with her. The cards slid out of the bag with ease. The back of them was a swirled pattern of red and black. Some places were worn. Some were coffee stained so they curled on the edges, and others were taped at the corners. Sliding them together, they moved as if they were brand new. She pulled a few and laid out seven cards in a cross formation. Side to side to tell her where she was, two below to tell her where she had been and the one above to tell her where she was going. The first card she placed was the Queen of Cups. It meant she was in a good place, her emotions were evenly balanced and she was content. Her mind wasn't getting too much in 153

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the way of her heart. It had been a while since she had pulled this card in reference to herself. Come to think of it, before she left, she had been pulling it for clients. Sometimes it meant there was a general vibe in the universe and people were in a mellow space just cruising with things. This was what she was doing, following her feelings, even though her emotions were running kind of high. The card that crossed her was the Devil. This signified the events going on around her. She sighed. The Devil was not a bad card. It meant that negative things were happening to her in the physical realm. Great I have to be aware of what's going on around me and not get lost in the psychic realm. Makes sense considering a hunter had tried to kill me. The next card, at the bottom of the cross, was her distant past. It showed a dignified man with long dark hair and piercing eyes, holding a staff. His face wore a smirk. The King of Wands. Oddly enough, it bore an uncanny resemblance to Simon. The king was always in control, strategic and had a temper, if roused, would burn anyone in his wake. He always got his way, played one face while underneath it there was another more devious one. Next was the reversed Tower, the event that drove her to where she was. Her breath caught in her throat. This card signified Lydia's murder and Trevor's disappearance. The realization that she could again be a true vampire if she wanted. All of her secure walls tumbling down around her, leaving her on much more shaky ground. Granted her life had always been chaotic money wise, but she had always known 154

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she would come out of it okay. This time, she didn't know what the hell would happen. Judgment was the influence of where she was. It was horizontal when normally cards wanted to be upside down or right side up. So when that happened she figured it carried both meanings. It signified that things were going to be revealing themselves, some good and some bad. She studied the image on the card. An angel looking down from Heaven at the souls who wanted to repent. Good and bad coming to life, a mixture of heaven and hell. Hmm, have to wait and see what that was. Judgment paired with the Devil as influence could only mean things were going to get worse before they got better. Next was the outcome of her present situation, the Ten of Swords. Death and total destruction. Everyone assumed the Death Card was the worst card in the deck because it showed that you would die. Truthfully this was the worst card of them all. It showed a man pinned down by ten swords, bleeding to death on a deserted plane. Sometimes the Ten meant true death, which in her case could be hers, considering she was thinking about becoming a vampire, but she didn't see it as a bad thing. Something worse was going to happen. Swords also signified mental enclosure, thinking too much, or worrying about everything in life. Swords represented the element of air. Her mind was working double time trying to figure everything out about her current situation, but still the heaviness of the card weighed on her mind and she didn't think that it was symbolic. 155

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The outcome of the whole reading was Death. It could mean rebirth, so maybe it meant she was going to come back again. Maybe it meant she was going to accept being a vampire, or it could mean the start of a new life for her. Literally and figuratively. Andrew said in order to be a vampire again she would have to die and be reborn. Am I ready to die? Death I remember. It was so lonely until I came back. Now here I am, and I don't know if I want to face another reincarnation and repeat the shit I've already gone through. Amara looked the cards over and left them, hoping some intuitive solution would come from looking at them later. She wasn't getting any more details so she decided to grab her journal and go out to explore the house. Her hand reached for the door. For a slight moment she hesitated, thinking it might be locked. She shook her head and reminded herself those times had been hundreds of years ago and things were different. She pulled the door open. Amara walked down the hall, letting her instincts pull her. She had some idea Crimson's lair was further into the house and she might not be able to find it. Amara strolled the hall, perusing the suits of armor hidden in the alcoves along with prints of goddesses and nature scenes blended together in gilded frames. She made her way down the stairs and back into the hall where the dining table was. It was set for six with a starched linen tablecloth and place settings which should have been in a fancy restaurant. Amara stopped and wondered who the sixth setting was for. There were only four others in the house besides herself. She 156

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shook her head. Crimson always used to pull surprises on them. Finally, she caught the whiff of something cooking. Whatever it was, it whet her appetite. She followed the smell down another hallway and downstairs. It was slightly colder so she knew she was going underground. She found the kitchen and when she walked in three faces looked up. "Hi," Amara said. They blinked. Finally, one of the chefs looked up. "Can I help you with something?" "I'm sorry to bother you. I smelled whatever you're cooking upstairs and was wondering if I could make something for lunch. I'm starving." The chef nodded at his workers and they both stepped forward and moved the hair away from their necks. Amara saw puncture wounds on both of their throats. She swallowed and even though she tasted their pulses on the back of her tongue, her body couldn't deal with a liquid diet at the moment. "Ahh. Thanks for the offer and all, but I was hoping for something more solid." There was a general look of discontent from all three, but without another word, both of them got back to working while the other opened the fridge and Amara saw a bundle of food. She dug out sandwich stuff and settled on turkey and cheese as that seemed to be the better of the choices. She threw together the sandwich, grabbed an apple, and made her way upstairs, but she made a wrong turn and ended up back in the library. While munching, she browsed and saw many old, but she couldn't read half the titles because they were in 157

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some foreign language, but she did stumble on the book Crimson had shown her last night with all the records of vampires. This was a more updated version it seemed. She took it from the shelf and flipped through it. Inside she saw written passages in Old English. The script was hard to read because it was so elaborate. Still something about it made her wonder. This was not the same book Crimson had. She moved toward the back pages, discovering only half the book was filled. But she noticed the date in the last entry and realized that it was a journal. October 1892 Tonight is the night. We will hunt Simon or die trying. Crimson may hate me in the end for confronting her about hunting her master, but what else can I do? He took my only loves away so I don't feel any pity. How do I tell her that I too have been having visions for these past many years and only keeping them to myself? Being Record Keeper was not something I had originally planned on, but nothing always goes the way it's planned. Who thinks their child will die in their arms or the man who is part of their soul will not come back to them until lifetimes later? We might not even remember each other. Crys doesn't know that. She doesn't know the things I have seen tonight. This will be the last entry. How can I tell her I have seen my own death for years now? The whispers of the dead are getting louder, telling of my impending doom, but I have learned not to listen to them. They will not tell me where my beloveds are and I've not been able to contact 158

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them on my own. There are other things I've seen, other places and another life I'm not sure is mine. I see myself in these visions wearing another face, being called by a different name. An eternal name, and yet I know it's me. Can I tell my night-sister this? Would she understand? She wishes me to live for nine hundred years and move the way of other vampires into the future, but how can I do this, when I know I will not be with her? Oh, Andrew, if only you were here. I stopped hating you eons ago and I never got the chance to tell you. You were taken away too soon. I'd confide in you that I'm scared. Frightened to face the inevitable. I could tempt fate and not hunt with Crys tonight, but even that would lead to my demise, because tonight is the night, I'm fated to die. Even in death I'll not be able to rejoin you. I have to wait and bide my time until it's right and we— [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirteen "Amazing, isn't it?" Amara looked up from the journal and saw Simon standing by the end of the settee. She dry swallowed the last bite of her lunch and nearly threw it back up. "What do you want?" "Jacquelyn, I won't hurt you." "I don't know that for sure." He moved a step nearer and slowly sat on the couch next to her. She curled her knees even closer to her chest, stifling a shiver of fear running up from her toes. She hadn't really gotten a good look at him the night before, but now she saw his dark wavy hair hung down to his back. His eyes were tinted purple. He had a thin dark mustache that stood out against his pale skin. "I don't want to frighten you. I only wanted to talk. I was hoping we could do it last night, but Andrew made it very clear he wanted you all to himself. I'm surprised you came away unbitten from your encounter." Amara was taken aback. She had not realized everyone was aware of what happened. "I don't know what you're talking about." Simon only laughed. His voice was rich. Amara relaxed slightly. "Come now. He's been talking about you since I met him, saying he's dreamed about you since he was a child, and clearly you are attracted to one another, even if only part of you remembers him. He hovered over you last night like an exotic bird. It's only a matter of time before you end up back 160

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in the same relationship. Look, I'm not judging you. I'm stating a fact. I didn't come here to talk about you and Andrew." "Then what do you want? Do you really think I want to talk to the bastard who murdered all those I loved and then took away my life?" "Oh don't preach to me, Jacquelyn. You knew you were going to die. You didn't have the heart to tell Crimson. You and I both know it was fated. Just like you read. Besides, it was either I take your life or I go after Crys. That was the deal you and I struck when I had a sane moment and you called me out. You didn't want to see your friend die because you were too afraid to take up her mantle. You never wanted the power. Why do you think I let you live when I killed Andrew? It was because you were weak. Kathryn wanted all the powerful vampires exterminated. She thought if that happened she might become human. When you started drinking from Crimson, you came on my radar. You were never a threat to Kathryn. The last link was Crys. Then you came into view. If I had known back then I would not have spared you. Then again, I never meant to fall in love. My love fought Kathryn's hold and broke through her insanity. You called me out and offered your life in exchange for Crys's. You would reincarnate along with everyone else and have your chance again to be with those you loved. That was how you sealed your own fate. It wasn't because you were having visions. The visions foretold your own choices." What the hell was he talking about? A deal? She didn't remember anything about a deal. It was true this journal had 161

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been hers. What had he and the journal both referred to about taking over for Crimson? "You're lying. I'd never deal my life away. You're trying to confuse me, make me remember things that you want me to." Simon's face reddened. His mind tried to push against hers, but she raised every barrier and shield that she knew, calling them up around her, and met him with a force she had never felt before. They stared, locked together and he leaned in so close they almost touched. He wrapped his hand around her chin and pulled her mouth his to his. For a moment, she almost gave in because it felt familiar, but then she regained her composure and pushed him off, propelling off the couch. "Asshole. I don't know what you're thinking. You're disgusting. I'd never make a deal with you. How dare you touch me? What would Crys say?" Simon stood and purred. "You felt the pull between us, didn't you? The spark was still inside you. Crimson never knew what happened between us. You gave me your soul, Jacquelyn. I touched a part of you Andrew never had access to and you loved every minute of being in my arms. The things we did would make even the worst sadist blush. Your pain is still a sweet remembrance as is the taste of you writhing under me when I flicked my whip." He crossed the room and came up behind her. Amara grew rigid, but he barely touched her shoulders with his hands. He breathed in her scent. "You loved every minute we fucked. With me hard inside you, my teeth locked in your throat. Don't deny it. Think about it hard enough and soon all the walls will crumble. You think you're all high and mighty now 162

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because you came back mortal, only half-human, but nothing has ever fulfilled you. All the humans you've fucked can never come close to what we shared. Part of you is insatiable. Come to me and you'll love it. I can give you power you only dreamed about. You don't need Andrew teasing you, stroking your desire. You never know what past relics will show up once again." He nipped her neck and pulled her against him. His cock was hard against her ass the way Andrew's was last night, but his spirit was different. Where Andrew would be gentle, he would be rough and part of her already knew what he could do to her. Amara drew in a breath and felt his hand entwine her hair tilting her neck to the side. A sigh escaped her lips before she even realized it. Shivers of warmth spread through her. The apple she clutched fell to the floor. Hard nails ran over her flesh, raising the small hairs on her neck. God, she wanted him to press into her harder so the pain would linger on her nerves. A wet tongue tasted the end of her ear and then sharp teeth bit down. The hand wrapped around her hair moved over her chest, massaging her breast, while the other raised the slit of her skirt trailing along her inner thigh with a feather light touch that was torture. Her breathing intensified. Sensations of ecstasy exploded through her. His fingers glided over the soft fabric of her panties and his thumb found her clit through the thin material. He moved in circles over her throbbing mound. "Please," she whispered. "Please what? Fuck you or suck you?" "Yes." 163

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Amara felt him smile against her throat. His mouth widened. The threat of fangs pressed against her scorched flesh. Simon's fingers were working faster, but staying on the barrier separating the two of them. Amara wanted him to rip it all away and feel him slide his fingers deep inside her waiting pussy. Her body responded to his. She was getting lost in its responses, as she had in the blood-hunger the night before. Her mind screamed. It was only at the slight pinch of pain, when his nipped her with his fangs, that she realized she was falling into the hands of the insane asshole who had killed her once before. What was she thinking? "No," Amara uttered and tried to pull away. Simon misconstrued it for her wanting more so he pressed his fangs into her. He was toying with her, only tasting her, prolonging the foreplay. Using his hands and his teeth, he dug into her more until the pain sliced her and she knew he was feeding on her, the way she desired yet truly didn't want. Humiliation filled her as if she were cheating on Andrew when she wasn't even dating him. Her feelings of shame were soon swallowed up by the orgasm rocking through her. Finally, he ripped the cotton and dragged her over to the couch. He pushed her down so hard she lost her breath. She hit her head on the arm of the sofa, but she didn't care because Simon pulled his dick out and slid into her with one motion. His cock was hard and smooth when he buried himself deep. Amara bucked under him as he took her swiftly. He was bigger than what she was used to, and the way he moved, pumping into her, made her wonder what she had been thinking. Maybe they had gotten together in the past. 164

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He strained above her, and she was lost in the sensation of him. Her hips moved in time with his sips until she couldn't take it anymore. She cried out against him and he shuddered on top of her. But she was still locked in the haze of the aftermath and it took her a moment to realize she was swallowing from his wrist. After the taste settled in her mouth, she shoved him away. She got up and wiped her hand across her lips, trying to get the tang off her tongue. The blood ignited her hunger again. Amara flashed back to the night before when she had drunk from Andrew's wrist. The feelings she had for him welled in her heart and her eyes teared up. Her mind automatically strung along the thread they now shared. It had only grown stronger. What had she done? How was she going to explain this one? She looked up at Simon who licked the wound on his wrist. "Bastard." Simon only laughed "My, my, little miss bitch has actually gained a conscious this time around. You'll be a bleeding heart like your Master before. I can already taste him in your blood. At least before, Jacquelyn, after I killed all those you loved, the bitterness in you made you taste so much better. Don't you worry, though. You'll come to your senses soon. Now you have some of me in you. You'll be mine before too long. If you're not careful, you'll come when I call you instead of going to your reincarnated Master. Crimson has softened in her old age. She doesn't know what the new generation will bring. Why not come back to the fold with my blood in you? You'll be stronger. I'm the last in the line of Druids. Magick is 165

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reawakening in the world after all these years of man pushing it down. I could show you so much. Think of all the power. I'm stronger than Andrew ever was or could be. Why not give yourself to me?" "You're fucked if you think I'll ever let you touch me again. There was no way I made a deal with you back then. I'd kill myself first. If you think because you forced me into this, you can control me then you've lost your mind. This never happened. I don't give a damn about power. What is power when you have no one to share it with? You stole everything I loved and then killed me." Simon chuckled and ran a finger over his mustache. "Well, my dear, if your lover does drink from you again he'll taste me. There'll always be a hint of me inside of you. And believe me, power is everything. It makes the world go round and drives the dead. Look where it got you. Back here among the fold." He smirked and walked out of the room, leaving Amara on the floor wondering how she was going to get herself out of this mess. She started to sob and thought about the love Andrew had for her. His thread vibrated with it. Amara swallowed her sob and cried. If he ever found out about what had happened it would break his heart, because it already had hers. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fourteen How could I have been such an idiot? This guy flashes his fangs and I fall under his spell. This whole situation is fucked. I found Tre and he's doing fine. I don't know about Josh, but by the way his energy feels I figure he is not that far behind. Maybe this is why the hunter got to Lydia and is now coming after me because I haven't turned yet. Not that I believe Simon for an inch, but if Crimson says he was here, then maybe he was. Even Tre says it. But Andrew saw him. I saw him. Arrgh! Can I leave this behind forever? Things have been fucked up ever since I came here. They were fucked up ever since I realized what the hell I was, what I am. How do you tell a doc you're hearing voices, you used to be an undead-coffinsleeping beast in a past life, and you lived for over eight hundred years? Yeah, I'm sure he'd buy that. Poor Lydia. She didn't deserve what happened to her. I don't think any of us do. Here I am, right in the middle of this fucked up situation. Drawn to a guy I barely even know and here I fuck a guy who killed my former self. What would Andrew say? How do I tell him? I would never have made a deal the way Simon said. Why would I choose to die? Who the fuck even knows if he's telling me the truth? It would be best if I packed my things and moved on. Of course, then I'd have the hunter to contend with, and I'm not sure I want that. Hell, I might even run into Kathryn, but I think at this point I would rather take my chances with the 167

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two of them than deal with a pissed off lover. Sometimes their wrath can be worse than any crazed lunatic. I'm not sure if I could leave behind everything I have learned so far. Could I? Amara stopped her pen on the page while her mind drifted to the pain in her throat and how Simon made her feel. Something about him drew her. She craved to feel the pain of being underneath him again, even wanted to taste the spice of his blood. Was it true she would be under his spell now that she had ingested his blood? What he said about power was true. Part of her wanted to have others beg at her feet, but she wasn't like that even though the temptation was there. Her gnawing hunger flared through her, making her realize as always power came with a price. No, she truly wanted nothing to do with Simon. Here people understood her true nature. It wasn't often that happened. Sure Aaron and Scott were psychic so they got that aspect of her, but when it came to being a vampire, they had no idea what she dealt with every day. It was tempting to start sucking neck on one of her clients. People were warm and sometimes she felt so cold and dead inside. In Andrews's arms, she had felt complete. After years of searching, she had found him in a graveyard no less. The heavens had led him back to her and her world was complete with him in it now. Amara sighed and quickly lifted the pen before the inkblot ran into her words. She looked at it and screamed. "Fuck!" She threw the journal on the floor and then sat on the bed. She ran her hands through her hair. Enough was enough. Amara didn't need anything here. Hell, she didn't do drugs, 168

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she rarely drank and her life was going pretty good. She could make it on her own without anyone's help. Besides, the blood she had imbibed last night would work out of her system. She had to get away from all the craziness. Space. That was what she needed. Amara needed time to think. All of this was happening too fast. She would take her chances with whatever was waiting for her. She could go back to her life and forget what had happened. Her dreammemories would stay just that. Spying her keys, Amara grabbed her bag and threw in her scattered clothes and her journal. She even took the one she had been reading; technically, it was hers, or had been. It might shed some more insight into her past and help her get over the blocks. At least with everything she had experienced, she could die knowing she wasn't nuts. She surveyed the room. Part of her would miss it, but Amara wasn't into hunters coming after her with sharp objects. Satisfied, she moved out of the room and looked back at what she was leaving behind. Yes, this was the best thing to do. Then why was her heart screaming at her for doing it? Andrew could find her again. All he had to do was follow the link they shared. They were soul bonded now. His presence would haunt her dreams until the day she died an old bitter cat lady. Her hand clutched the doorframe and splinters embedded into her palm. Pain drew her mind back to itself. No, no matter what her heart said, she was making the right decision. Great, there were vampires in the world. She had an idea on how to recognize them now if she ever came across 169

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them. All of this had been an eye opener, but it made her finally accept that she was not insane. She hefted her bag and walked out the door. Opening the car door, she threw her stuff in and climbed in the driver's seat. The purr of the engine never sounded so good. She hoped she was up for the drive back to Charlotte. There was a knock on her window as she checked the rearview mirror. Amara jumped, expecting to see Simon, but instead it was Andrew. Her heart pounded in her ears and she slammed on her brakes, rolling down her window. "Decided to make an escape? I was hoping you would at least say goodbye before I completely scared you off." Amara looked into her lap from the guilt overwhelming her. She could still do this. He didn't have to know. So she smiled and put her car into park. "It's not you I'm scared of. It's all this and then some. I—" "Amara, you don't have to explain. Come out please. Talk to me. At least let me hold you before I lose you again." Amara's arms yearned to feel him against her skin. He was like a drug and she was crashing big-time. Her hand hesitated on the key. If she got out, she was not getting back in the car. Her plans would be dashed. The urge to feel him against her once more was stronger than the need to escape. She tried to link to his mind, but it was locked to her and their connection was taut while he waited for her to make a decision. Finally, she turned the car off and got out. Andrew stepped back, giving her some space, but it felt like a chasm between them and she had put it there. She cursed herself for what 170

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had happened. How did you cheat on a guy you weren't even sleeping with? But it felt like she had. Amara leaned against the car, feeling the calm of oncoming twilight. Her hands were shaking from nerves. A current of Andrew's fury rode the thread between them. Never before had she felt such intense emotions from those she had been connected with. The silence was not helping. He was hurt and she was the cause. In the past, she always was and she didn't want that with him this time around, but it seemed that cycle couldn't be broken either. "Andrew, I'm not leaving because of you. All of this scared the shit out of me. Simon, even Tre, and how I feel. My life's never been cut and dry, but fuck—how do you rationalize all of this? You said yourself you came from another life. You shed it so easily for an existence belonging to you centuries ago. I don't know if I want that. I don't want to lose myself and wake up thinking all of this was a dream. I'm not running away from you. I don't want to leave you, not again. Please believe that. You're the greatest thing about all of this. Besides knowing Tre's alive and I'm not nuts." "Then why are you taking off? Tell me the truth, Jacqu— Amara. Make me understand you're not running from me, from what we could have. This life or that one. As long as it's you and me. I don't care if you want to stay human. Eternity is a frightening prospect when you have been there and are faced with the decision again. If you want to be mortal then I will still be with you. What changed from last night?" Dig her grave now or come clean. Could he smell Simon on me? The thread between them was stretched so tight it was 171

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strangling her. Her eyes stayed focused on the loose gravel. The woods grew silent. Amara lifted her hair so Andrew could see the evidence from her erotic encounter. With the crunch of stone he crossed to her, studying the flesh. Andrew's fingertips brushed the wounds and she stopped herself from flinching. He took in a breath. Their link snapped in that instant and the pressure from him eased. It was all over then. Everything she wanted with him was gone, all because she had fucked up. "Did Trevor do this to you? Who attacked you? Why didn't you come to me? I would have taken care of it." He stared at her. Anger from him overwhelmed her and she knew he was going to take his rage out on Trevor. "No, Andrew. It wasn't Tre. I wasn't attacked. It was Simon. I don't know what happened. He said some things. They made sense and they didn't. I wasn't thinking. It happened. I wasn't expecting it. I thought everyone was asleep. Let's drop it. Start over. Please." She moved her chin up to look into his eyes. He gazed at her as if she was invisible. "How could you let him touch you? Were you so hard pressed for a bit of fang you went to him? If I had known you wanted to be fucked I would've banged your brains out last night. But no, I wanted to wait, give you a chance to adjust to all of this. Did you suck him off too? Probably. You haven't changed a bit. Here I've been pining for you—I was such an idiot." He drew his fist back. Amara closed her eyes waiting for the sharp impact of pain. All she felt was the sudden rush of air where his hand came inches from her face and he 172

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punched the side of her car, leaving a large dent. She jumped and swallowed back the lump in her throat. She wanted to say something to him, but he turned on his heels and walked off. The abyss between them became the Grand Canyon and she was lonelier than she had before she decided to leave. He didn't understand. "Please don't," she whispered. Not again. Her heart cracked. Amara longed to run and hide, but didn't know where to go. Problems would follow her, manifesting as some other karma she didn't need. Fuck. She grabbed her bag, slammed the door, and went back inside. She threw her stuff in the corner and stormed into the dining room. He would listen to her and she would make him see she'd screwed up. Hell, they weren't even dating! Instead of Andrew she found Crimson flipping through a book with her feet dangling over the arm of the chair. "If you're looking for Andrew you won't find him. Give him time to cool off." Amara stopped. "How do you know what happened?" Crimson looked up from her book. Amara noticed it was a black bound one similar to the one she had found in the library. "Amara, I'm not stupid. I know what goes on in my house. Besides you forget that I'm connected to all vampires. I choose to ignore them. Except when it comes to goings on with the man I love. Why do you think I have the barrier around the house? I do like my privacy, besides I didn't have a lock on you until you took Andrew's blood. You got enough that it awoke more of your nature so you're now a faint blip on my internal radar." 173

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Amara stopped. "You know what Simon did to me and you sit there being okay with it?" The vampire only half-smiled and pushed a chair out with her foot. She sipped at a glass of something red. When Amara got a whiff she realized it was wine. A drop stained the white tablecloth. "No, dear Jacquelyn, I'm not okay with it, but I've had a century to stew. I assumed Simon had you out of his system, but I guess not." "Look, I don't remember anything from before between him and me. What happened earlier won't be repeated." "It's fine. You told me all about it before we went to kill Simon. You bared your soul and I wanted to kill you. You were so sincere about it and I figured your grief had clouded your judgment. You did tell me you never got any of Simon's blood in you, so you were okay." "What difference would it make if I ingested his blood?" Amara held her breath thinking about the library. "Oh well, back then the madness infecting him would've worked into your system and he would have a hold on you." "And now?" "Now. Nothing. He's totally sane, remember?" Crimson answered. "But?" "No buts, and yes this is a journal you kept secret from me. You started recording your visions and then Simon came to you and proposed his deal. I assume he appealed to the grieving and sadistic side of your nature. Honestly, I don't really care how many times you fucked him. I hope you didn't 174

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make a habit of it. Now, if you want any chance at mending things with Andrew I suggest you don't fall back into old habits with Si. I was the only one Simon loved, still am. Si was mine and he never had the power to bring your soul back. You came back because it was your time. He still thinks he was all-powerful, being descended from Druid bloodlines and all. Kathryn was crazy, thinking if he killed all the powerful vampires for her she would gain their power and be human again. He killed her, you know. Even after death her hand reached him which is why he was still insane. You know he's actually able to do some of the magick that was lost to him centuries ago. It's amazing the world is rediscovering what it lost. Maybe it will be like old times and I'll be able to summon a storm with a thought. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Do you really think that humanity is ready to rediscover that kind of power? We were the only ones worthy of it. I'm not sure the mortals who are reawakening are ready for what they will discover. Someone has to make a stand, gather the power, even among our own kind. It could be fun, don't you think, to rule over all of them?" Amara couldn't believe what she was hearing. Who cared about power? All she cared about was mending the rift she had created between her and Andrew. "Crimson, this doesn't make sense. Who give a damn about power and what happened to Kathryn? Great, Simon killed her. She was a sadistic bitch anyway from what you tell me. I don't want Simon. He gives me the creeps. He murdered me, for Christ's sake. I went with you to kill him because he had taken away all I loved. I don't want that to happen again. I knew the risk, 175

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but I don't remember this deal he says I made with him, this whole power thing. Maybe a unicorn will walk in the forest again or some shit. Humanity is fucked. They don't know it yet. It's good the old knowledge is resurfacing. I agree someone has to make a stand, but I don't think mortals have evolved that far yet. Who are we to want to rule the world? You used to tell me, not to tell mortals about us. If we went public then that would be it. They would come after us with stakes and crosses. Now you want to go off on this power trip. What's gotten into you?" "I've seen the better part of a thousand years, Jacquelyn, and I'm tired of living in the shadows. Before you told me the truth of how Simon plotted against me. Si wanted me out of the way before you could take my heart and gain my powers. I was never sure if you were gaining them. True, it was my intention to one day give up my life so you could carry on my line, but there are loopholes even the Mother Vampire never saw." Amara nodded. "Look, all this is beyond me. I don't care about power or magick, or Kathryn. I do care someone killed my friend and came after me. What do you intend to do about Simon? If he wanted to get you out of the way before, aren't you afraid he wants to do that now? I don't know if I was inheriting your powers from before. Maybe he's the one who came after me and killed Lydia? I know Tre said he was here, but I don't know. Simon rubs me the wrong way." Crimson laughed, bubbling up her wine. "Amara, Si is a kitten. He's totally sane and under my control. I stopped worrying about him years ago. He didn't kill Lydia or attack 176

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you. Like I said, Kathryn has returned and might be using one of your other friends. I can't get a lock on them, even going through the connection I have with Tre. Kathryn might be blocking me. I'm not sure. Sometimes events of this world are even beyond me. Honestly, about you and Simon, I intend to do absolutely nothing. You have to work it out yourself. He needs to get you out of his system. I do want to know if you have a touch of the old gifts, but we can save that conversation for another time. Obviously, Andrew is on your mind. If you need help, I'll be around." "I thought you were my friend. I slept with the man you love! How can you be so calm about that?" Crimson got up and handed the diary to Amara. "When you are as old as I am, you get a feeling for these things. Besides, there are more important things right now that we need to discuss. At the very end, you are my night-sister, my best friend. You're more important to me alive than dead. If this thing with Andrew doesn't pan out, I can always turn you. If Simon does do anything, I'll have his head. He knows that. Now go up and change. Everyone is coming down for dinner. I laid something out for you on the bed. Read over the journal and then we can talk some more. The past is the past. For you it's only a blink of an eye, haunting your dreams, but in the end we can't do anything to change what happened. If things had worked out the way Si wanted he would have gained my power through you. I would be dead and Kathryn would have returned from the grave. I was the last link in the chain until you started drinking from me. Even if you didn't inherit my powers, it put you on the radar. Simon would have 177

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been able to part the veil of death and bring Kathryn back. After he killed her, her spirit still whispered to his thoughts, but he killed you instead and then came after me. Somehow, her spell was broken. Some things happen for a reason. Like you being here now. Go change." Amara took the book. She wasn't sure if she was hungry or not. Her stomach said yes, but her mind said no. Her heart was still stuck on the argument with Andrew. She rifled over what had happened. The stories she got from Crimson and Simon conflicted. If it came down to it, she was going to believe Crimson. If they were all going to be having dinner together, what could happen? The tension was high in the house; she could feel it even with her psychic abilities not turned up all the way. Something else bothered her about the old powers reawakening and Kathryn reaching Simon from beyond the grave. How was she supposed to know if Simon was only playing the sane act? Was he still hearing the ghost of his dead lover and trying to resurrect her, using Crimson to do so? If she was connected to all of them, he could look them up once they reincarnated, couldn't he? And why would Crimson care if the world was rediscovering magick? Why would Crimson care about leading all vampires or ruling humanity? In the past, the absolute rule was not to let their existence be known. Maybe she was making a point. Amara shook her head and tuned out the emotions she felt until they were background noise. She didn't want to be a receiver and get engrossed in everyone's feelings. It was bad enough she was going to have to face Andrew and Simon 178

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together, so she turned the radio down in her head and went back to her trying to avoid the headache wanting to creep in. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fifteen Amara stared in the mirror, amazed at the gown Crimson had picked out for her. It had a built-in corset bodice that pushed up her tits. The layered gauze material was green and black and the gown laced up with a green ribbon. She even toyed with the emerald necklace, but didn't want her punctures visible to the world. She fished out an ankh collar. The Egyptian symbol for eternal life made her smile. She brushed her straight dark hair and took one last look in the mirror. Her gaze caught the Tarot spread on the bed. She had forgotten about it in her haste when she was packing everything up. The energy of it drew her. The cards called to be shuffled and for her to do another layout. Instead, she gathered them up, placed them back in the bag, and noticed that behind the Queen of Cups was another card stuck to it. The Eight of Swords. Perfect. Fucking perfect. If I had seen this before then maybe I would have gotten the impression I would fuck everything up. The Eight by itself indicated sticky situations, the need to tread carefully. When combined with the Queen of Cups it meant that she was getting herself into an emotional mess she had created. She wondered what game fate was playing with her, considering she was seeing this card after the fact. Sometimes she hated being psychic and this time was one of them. So much for foretelling her own future. Psychics were their own worst enemy. She shook her head and placed the card in its bag before heading to dinner. 180

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The damage was done. Now she had to live with the consequences. Downstairs she realized everyone was waiting for her. Crimson sat at the head of the table with Simon and Andrew to her right. Trevor was on her left, leaving an empty space for Amara and a sixth place not occupied. Her imagination was piqued as to who the mysterious guest would be. Her eyes ran over the untouched place setting. She wished for a moment the spirits of the past were with her. However, the past was actually reliving itself through them, so there were no more ghosts. Trevor smiled when she sat down. His gaze drifted toward her chest, but he had always been a tease. She couldn't bring herself to meet Andrew's eyes. The look on Simon's face was a virtual sneer. The smug bastard was proud of the rift he had caused between herself and Andrew. Maybe that had been his plan all along. Crimson did nothing but smile as dinner was placed in front of them and wine was poured. Surprisingly, Amara's stomach rumbled. When they sat, Amara flashed back to the times when this had been an everyday occasion. The other chairs should have been filled and voices should have echoed throughout the room in place of the grave silence surrounding them now. Dinner consisted of rare meat and vegetables. Red wine was served, but when Amara tasted it, she nearly choked when she detected the undercurrent of blood. She picked at her food. The noises of silverware on plates filled the silence until Crimson clicked her spoon on her glass. 181

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"I'm sure you're all wondering who our mystery guest is. One of the Original Children was going to grace us with his presence. Unfortunately, it appears he has been detained." "You really think the Elders care what is going on with us? They never did in the past. Why care now?" Trevor mumbled. Amara saw a hint of a smile touch Andrew's face, but it didn't melt his eyes. "Times are changing. It might be he is just the one to solve our problems. It would be nice to have the table filled again. Don't you agree, Amara?" Crimson asked. Amara turned her gaze to the other vampire. Her smile was only half-hearted. "Yes, it'd be nice to have everything back the way it was." "Good. A toast then. To the past awakening and old friends reuniting." They all lifted their glasses and Amara's eyes met Andrew's. All she saw was glacier cold. She swallowed the liquid and dropped her gaze. On a whim she opened her mind and focused on him, moving along the thread that tied them so tightly now. Andrew. After a moment his mind locked on her and he made his disgust known. She saw through his eyes. **** She was back in the cemetery. A car pulled in and a woman got out. For a moment he couldn't believe what he saw. His soul had to be wrong. His heart had to be fooling him. It couldn't be, but it was. It was Jacquelyn reborn. She didn't look exactly the same, but he knew her. His fingers 182

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ached to hold her. He wanted to reveal himself and take her in his arms, but if he did, he might scare off the hunter. Now he understood why he had been led there and, unfortunately, the bait was one he had longed for. He sensed the conflict in her. She was human, part human at least, hadn't been turned, but it felt like she had started. It was confusing, but the fire he remembered, that he loved, burned in her. Then the atmosphere changed. Danger lurked because the hunter had come to slay his prey. He had to make himself known or all was lost. Next he was looking down at her sleeping form. The sheets barely covered her. Sweat made the fabric cling to her. Her hair spread out like spilled ink. Amara felt his awe while she slept. Only inches from her, aching to touch her, but feeling the knowledge of what she had discovered was too much. Her need and hunger reached out and seized him, drawing his soul the way it had in the past. This was different. She wasn't starving herself intentionally. Her body was pooling all her energy reserves and forcing the blood-hunger because she was around the other vampires. She was going into shock because her soul was forcing her body to turn. Strange and unheard of, but with her it was very possible. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, and he wanted to run his hand over her face, to breathe in the scent of her, to see if she still tasted the same and moved the same under him. If her moans still echoed in his heart, if her skin was still supple. He wanted to taste her, feel himself inside her, and his fangs buried deep in her flesh. Her wanting him. If he moved too fast would he spook her. Gods, he desired 183

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her, not because she was his child from old, but because he needed to know if she still loved him, still needed him the way he desperately needed her. Because he loved her and he wanted her first sip of blood to be from him. Watching her and being in the same room with her was intoxicating. Her hunger seeped into him and all he wanted to do was ravage her. The intensity of it was mind-boggling. He whispered to her mind, pulling her from sleep and dreams, calling to the part of her that knew him. In a mere murmur, she uttered his name and then her consciousness returned. Her need engulfed her and even thought she fought the blood-hunger, he loved her still. Amara. **** The hurt she'd caused him slammed into her shredding her heart. Tears threatened. She lost her appetite. Andrew, I— He met her eyes over a glass of wine. Don't, he said bitterly and broke the mental link. Amara gazed at the others and saw they knew nothing of their little exchange. "So why call us together, Crys? I get the feeling not many of us are enjoying being back around the old table," Trevor interjected, breaking the silence and tension. "Oh, Trevor, things are as they always were. You're right of course. There is a purpose I have for all of us sitting around this old table. You of all people, Amara, know there's a threat we have to deal with before it gets out of hand like it did in the past. You saw Lisha's body. Andrew attacked the 184

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hunter who came after you. Clearly, it was not Simon. I've been doing research, haunting web groups and emailing a few others I know in the community. They have told me about similar killings where ones such as you were awakening and were killed. The Elders can only speculate about the murders. It appears Kathryn has come back so she might be up to her old tricks again. I can only assume the hunters are tied to her." "What? There's a group of hunters out there able to detect when we're all being reborn? Why would they want to stop the past from returning? Why wouldn't they want things the way they were before humans fucked with everything? Or do you really think it's Kathryn?" Trevor asked. "If it truly is Kathryn, then she might be picking up where she left off. Obviously, we know she's not using Simon for her vessel this time. So she has probably found someone else who looks like him or has the ability to manipulate minds. The hunter will keep following the links between vampires. I'm not sure what her motive is. She had Simon kill in the past to try and be human. He was her vessel for power. Now I can't get a lock on her. I wanted you all to be aware of what was going on." "So what do we do now?" Andrew asked. "You expect us to wait around until someone finds this place and tries to kill us again? How do we really know Simon isn't playing sane, and behind it he's still a lunatic?" Simon glared at him. "I wouldn't belittle myself now that my mind is unclouded and free from Kathryn's grip. I would do nothing to jeopardize what I am, or my love for Crimson." 185

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"I'll believe that when I see it. You've already jeopardized your precious relationship. Why don't you admit it?" Andrew growled. "I have done nothing of the sort. How dare you?" Amara looked at the two of them and swallowed her last mouthful of roast. She was going to be sick. Her stomach lurched forward, influenced by the animosity coming from the two vampires. She ran from the table and into the library, out onto an adjoining balcony where it was snowing again. She leaned over the terrace and lost everything she had eaten. Sinking into the snow, she didn't feel the flakes mixing with the tears as they melted on her cheeks. Her head rested on her knees not caring what was going on around her. The hurling emotions were getting to her. Andrew's seething distrust. Simon was being Simon. She should have left and never answered the call of her heart. She should have kept the window rolled up and driven back to Charlotte. But no. If she had left the guilt would have plagued her existence. Maybe the guilt would have been better than the hatred Andrew wrapped around her. How had she gotten herself into such a mess? One bad judgment call. Part of her reading made sense now. The Eight of Swords behind the Queen of Cups, stabbing her emotional life in the back, making things difficult for her to move on. Simon hadn't changed any. He was still the King of Wands: mean, beguiling, and still plotting. She tried drawing in a breath, but the corset made it hard. She reeled in her emotions and wiped away the tears. Andrew had showed her his heart in those precious moments and how 186

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she had shredded it. She was an idiot and she hoped he could forgive her, even if it took years. She wished she'd never left Charlotte. Suddenly an explosion of pain blackened her vision. She grabbed her temples. White light spread from behind her eyes and filled her head. Her hands went around her throat. Her breathing was labored and the pain unbearable. Electricity zapped the miles of nerves in her body while she struggled to hold on to consciousness. The network of her friends flared to life and Josh's point was visible. The cord vibrated, resonating deep in her soul. Pain overwhelmed her, gripping her stomach until she could barely move. She didn't realize she was being dragged inside. She tried to focus past it, to get a grip on what was going on with him, but the connection was disintegrating too fast and then it winked out, leaving her empty. "Amara, what happ—" "Josh! Not him too. No—" Amara looked up through blurred eyes. She was shaking and could barely feel her limbs. A blanket was wrapped around her and she was starting to get warm again. She wished there was a fire nearby that could make her even warmer. "What happened?" Crimson asked. "Josh," she sniffled. "He's dead." "Is there anything else? Did you see who did it?" "No, the link between us is gone. It exploded and winked. Just Trevor is left. Tre is safe. Already turned. I don't want to 187

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die, Crys. Not again. I'm not ready. There are too many things to set right." "Shh. It won't happen. They can't find you here. Hush, I promise. Come on. You should lie down." Her arms went around Amara. Crimson helped Amara into her bed and stroked her hair. Amara stared into nothingness. "You know if you want I can save you the worry of the hunters coming for you. I can turn you if you want, hon. It would save you a lot of grief." Amara looked at the sincere smile and the understanding that was in Crimson's eyes. The vampire understood pain. Even though it would solve one of Amara's problems, it still wouldn't fix anything between her and Andrew. "Thank you. Not now. I want to try and fix the mess I made. If he shuns me again, then I'll take you up on it. Okay?" Something she couldn't read moved through Crimson's eyes. "Okay. Try and get some sleep for now." Amara nodded and let the emptiness of grief take her away to sleep. Something stroked her back, moving along the bumps of her spine. Amara opened her eyes to the sensation and turned slowly, hoping she was waking from a dream and Andrew would be at her side. Instead of cloud-gray eyes, she found Simon staring back at her. She bolted from her bed. "What the hell are you doing here?" "That was quite a little show downstairs. Did you really feel your little friend die or were you trying to get our attention? You certainly got mine. By the way your little outfit certainly 188

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gives your assets a boost. I think Crys is trying to make me jealous." "Get the fuck out of my room." Simon smiled and lifted himself up on one arm to look at her. He was shirtless and the way the sheet barely covered him she assumed he was naked from the waist down as well. She really didn't need this. "Of course you do," he said, reading her thoughts. "You have me in your blood. Now you want to experience what we had. This afternoon was only a taste of what I could give you." His hands moved around her waist and he pulled her along with him as he left the bed. She hadn't even seen him move. He was hot and hard, ready to take her. He started pushing her hair aside, but Amara moved away before he could get a good grip. Her whole body shook at the attraction, but after what happened earlier, she wasn't ready for a repeat performance. She leaned on one of the posts and stared at his warped reflection in the mirror. "Out! Get out! If you come near me again, I'll kill you myself. I don't care what Crimson says. You will not ruin my life this time around. This afternoon I wasn't thinking clearly. Never will you touch me again." Simon only laughed. "As you wish. My offer only comes this once. The next time I will take what I want." He sauntered past her and then out the door. She slid down the bedpost until she was on the floor. She took in a few breaths and then closed her eyes. Her past was not going to repeat itself. God, she had to find Andrew, try and make him understand. Get him to hold her, drive away her demons 189

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and maybe make her feel complete. As the realization settled over her, something clicked. Maybe it was the need for selfpreservation. Crimson's offer resounded in her ears. It was tempting. She wanted to leave everything behind and be whole again. She was tired of being half-human, of only being half alive. She only prayed Andrew would still have her. Maybe if she begged him, pleaded, he might forgive her. Amara wanted what she'd felt in Andrew's arms before she had screwed up; hopefully, she could heal the rift. Even if in the end he threw her away, her heart would always want him. Now no matter what happened, she understood that even if death did find her once more, she would see him again one way or another. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Sixteen Amara tried to focus on the part of her that knew Andrew. There was nothing, just space. The link between them quivered with his energy, but he blocked her. She had no idea if he was in the house, but she had to try. She'd had enough dealing with her human weakness. Now was the time to regain everything she had lost and stop sniveling. Running a brush through her hair, she straightened out her dress, tightening the stays even more. Shit. Why not use it to her advantage? Even if she couldn't reconcile with Andrew, she had to at least make him see she cared for him, loved him even when she didn't remember everything from before. His soul and hers had been cut from the same star, and even if she had never met him in a past life, she would have loved him no matter what. The thought of him made her heart soar. If Andrew refused her she would go to Crimson and be turned by her. Amara would then go back to Charlotte. If eternity meant only knowing he was alive, at least she would have that. She left her room, feeling the presence of the others below. Crimson and Trevor were sparring again. Simon she could not sense, which was fine with her. Andrew wasn't downstairs with the others, and if he truly was like his former self, then he was off alone, brooding. Amara walked the halls. Moving past one door, she noticed it was partially open, and when she walked on she heard a faint click. Pushing the door open, she stepped into a large game room with a pool table 191

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being the center attraction. It was new, and the surface had barely been marred and the balls were still bright. One rolled across the felt and into the woven leather pocket as she closed the door behind her. The rest of the room contained chairs and another fireplace. There was even a dartboard on one wall. A pewter and crystal chess set was positioned by the fireplace and a backgammon board was snuggled away in another corner. Andrew stared at her while he took aim on another ball. "What do you want?" "I was hoping we could talk." "Why? So you can tell me how much you loved fucking Simon? Don't bother. He already ruined you for me. Why come to me when you can have him? I don't feel like being sloppy seconds. Leave me alone, Amara. I'm afraid I'll hurt you if you get too close to me. And I really don't want that. Besides, I could do serious damage to your human anatomy." He hit the ball hard enough it spun across the table and slammed the eight ball into the corner. His fist banged into the wood and there was an audible crack. Amara jumped back. Andrew was serious. But so was she. She was stubborn. She always had been, and that hadn't changed because she had been reincarnated. "I'm not leaving until you listen to me." Andrew threw his pool stick across the room knocking over a lamp. "Fine, I'll leave." He moved past her, but Amara caught his arm and pulled him back. "We have to talk," she growled. Her phantom fangs pressed into her tongue. Her grip on him was not going to be 192

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broken. Just as she had pried Crimson off her when she first arrived, her vampiric nature rose to meet him. "Look, I know you think I have this thing for Simon. But you're wrong. Maybe back then I did, I don't know. I don't remember. Maybe it's the sadistic side of me that recognizes him for what he could do to me. I don't want him. I want you. I've always wanted you. Earlier was a mistake. Aren't I allowed to make those?" He jerked away and her fangs disappeared. He stood inches from her, his breath hot against her face. "You fucked the very asshole who killed you and me. You haven't changed. Maybe I don't want you anymore. Did you ever think of that? You've given me time to rethink things and maybe finding you was the biggest mistake of my unlife." "Don't say that." Tears threatened and Amara tried to hold them back. "Why don't you cry, Jacquelyn? It was always something you were good at. Oh, I know. What was it you said? You were never really human. Well, let me tell you something, love. You'll never be anything more than that." "You know—you're being an ass. You said you'd changed, but it's obvious nothing has changed about you. You're still the same egotistical asshole who I ran away from. Damn it, Andrew. Don't you get it? You can say whatever you want about me, but if you would listen for one sec—" "No, I don't have to listen to you. You gave up that right when you fucked the man who killed me." Andrew seethed. "Arrgh. I fucked up. I admit that. I wasn't planning the little tryst, it just happened. I never wanted to sleep with him 193

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or drink from him, either. I wanted you. I'm an idiot for thinking I ever loved you. That you could—I don't know. I wanted you to hold me. That's all. I'm so tired of this fighting. Always back and forth. I'm scared. My friends are dying around me. I can feel each of them winking out and at last I found someone that understood me without having to question what I truly was." Amara paused, knowing her argument was getting her nowhere. It never did, never would. She'd had her chance with him and she'd blown it. "But you know, you're right. I didn't need to burden you with my problems. I'll ask Crys to finish—" "Whoa, what did you say? You drank from that bastard, too?" Andrew interrupted, a look of pain and disbelief replaced the anger. It stabbed her heart and Amara realized that Simon hadn't mentioned that part to Andrew. She swallowed the rest of her words. "It wasn't like that, it happened before I realized—" "Get out of my sight!" "Andrew, you don't understand." "Oh, I do, you're a whore. Now get out." Amara moved to touch his cheek, but he backed away and there was a sharp sting across her jaw. Wetness streamed down her cheeks from his hate filled expression. "Get out!" The anger burned in his eyes and his fangs were growing. A shiver of fear ran through her and without knowing why she was running from the room sobbing. The instant she reached the end of the hallway her mind cleared and she understood he had given her a compulsion to get out like he had in the cemetery, but this command was stronger. Maybe it was 194

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because she had ingested some of his blood or because she had opened her heart to him. Whatever the reason, the loathing she felt in that room cut her to the core. She would never be able to be with him again. It wasn't about wanting to be in his arms or feeling his blood sliding down her throat or even that she really wanted to become a vampire again. It was about how she had hurt him. That was the worst thing she could have done. There was no way around it. She had to get away from this place. To get away from all this craziness, but she didn't want to leave as a human. Her only other choice was Crimson. Trevor could turn her, she was sure of that, but he was her friend and she didn't want anything romantic developing between them when she had already gotten herself involved with Simon. She didn't need any more ammunition for Andrew to use against her. The hurt bubbled over in her heart and she wiped her eyes. She sensed Crimson downstairs. Why not take her up on her offer and get it over with? Her friend would understand. Besides, tonight was a great night to die. Crimson sat at the dining room table and motioned for Amara to sit. She poured herself a glass of wine from a pitcher and offered Amara one, but she shook her head. Her stomach was still churning from dinner and the aftermath of losing Josh. "Reconciling with Andrew didn't go well, did it?" Amara felt her tears again. Human emotions. She was tired of being human. "No, not exactly. It's been a hell of a day." 195

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"Come on, Amara, we've been friends for a long time and honestly I don't think I've seen you quite this upset over a spat with Andrew for a long time. Now tell me what happened." Amara wondered if the wine would give her courage to tell the other vampire the truth. She had already told Andrew about her little tryst with Simon and he had taken it rather well. If Crimson took it the same way then she was fucked. No matter, she told the other vampire and kept her eyes glued to the tablecloth, to the red stain that was still there from earlier. It had started to turn slightly brown now that it had dried. "So, Si gave you his blood. No big deal. It does go hand in hand with fucking. It brings out the pleasure. You feel so much like one of us already it probably slipped his mind you're not completely turned." "Yeah, but he said he would have control over me now because I ingested some." "Look, hon. When Andrew found you, your hunger was out of control, which means your body was starting to change on its own. If you had been left alone, it would have happened anyway, only slower. Hell, who knows, you might have even lived your life out as a human but aged slower. No one knows because you have never happened before. Andrew felt your need and you took in some of his blood. A lot from what I gathered. That pushed you over the edge and accelerated your transformation. It's also one of the reasons you weren't hungry at dinner. The amount of blood that you got from Simon would have no effect in terms of who had control on 196

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your mind. Your soul is imprinted with Andrew. It was back then. It's only fitting that he would turn you again this time. I mean—" "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I told him everything. And he—he doesn't want anything to do with me. I feel so lost. Like part of my soul has died when I really don't even know the man upstairs. Why?" Crimson put down her glass and took Amara in her arms. Amara knew her embrace and found comfort in it. Even if she was still unsure of everything else, she recognized friendship when she felt it, and here it was. "Love, Andrew and you have been tied together for lifetimes. You're soul mates, but I think you already knew that. I felt the same way when I had to go after Si when I realized he was insane. In time, Andrew will come to see what an idiot he was. None of this shit matters in the end. Mind you, I'm not too keen on the idea you slept with Si. I hope you don't plan on doing it again. Now, what did you want to talk to me about?" "Andrew doesn't want me. The look on his face—the way he—No, he never will. There's no one else I trust. So do you think you could finish what Andrew started? You know, bring me over to the dark side?" "I would be honored. Before I hated the fact Andrew chose you, but you showed both of us. Now it's the right thing to do. Not that I wouldn't support you if you chose humanity, but you've always been a vamp. When did you have in mind?" "I was hoping that you could do it tonight. I'm tired of this. Tired of feeling anything akin to humanity. I hate being weak. So what do you say?" 197

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Crimson stared at her and sighed. "Wow. Jacq, I can understand you want to get away from the coil you were born into, but I think you need to clear your head a little bit more before you race off and do this. Give it a few days. Let Andrew cool off and then make your decision. I will gladly turn you but you must be sure this is truly what you want. I know you wanted this from him and my offer still stands, but let's give your heart a couple of days to heal. Will you do that for me?" Amara sighed. Maybe she was being irrational and wanted to end it all. Her body was changing and she wanted blood more than she ever had before, but she could fight it. She licked her lips absently and extended her mind. The energy in the place was heavy and laden with emotion she could siphon off. Especially because she had caused much of it herself. Why not tap into it? Crimson was right—maybe she was being hasty. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Crimson nodded. Amara got up and went back upstairs. She stripped the dress off and put on the nightgown she had worn last night. A slight musk clung to it and she realized it was Andrew's scent. It was all over the material. His energy was cold and distant, so hard edged she couldn't even get a lock on him. The others, Simon, Trevor, Crimson, they all hummed against her, even the human servants. She drew her mind back to herself and let it linger a moment on Andrew once more, hoping, praying she could heal the events between them. Suddenly a blinding pain sent her hurtling back into her body, leaving her whole being stinging. He had pushed her away mentally, posting a no 198

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trespassing sign on his very person. Her heart sank and with it she went into dreams. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seventeen Over the next couple of days, Amara was barely able to move from bed. Her body did end up fighting off the virus invading her system. Or maybe she'd never been as far along as she thought. Maybe it was her heartache brought on by his rejection. For two days, she had been bedridden, except for the trips to the bathroom when her stomach couldn't even hold down water. Her whole body suffered from chills and fever. At least she wasn't hallucinating. Now she was under the covers flipping through the journal from the old days that she had found in the library. It informed her more of what had happened in the last year or so of her previous life and how she and Crimson had been looking for Simon. In her former incarnation she had ingested Crimson's blood to become Record Keeper, but it didn't say if she'd inherited any of the powers. There was nothing about her trysts with Simon and the deal she had allegedly made with him. She was seriously beginning to think it was something he'd made up. She didn't know. Her whole body ached. Her soul hurt. Every time she checked on Andrew, she found the same block that had pushed her out before. Instantly his presence winked out of her view, leaving her feeling more alone. At least with him for those first couple of days she had felt comfortable, felt he understood where she was coming from. Now she felt so out of place. Crimson had a servant keep an eye on her. The servant offered her blood, but she fought the 200

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urge and siphoned off the energy in the house. If she had blood her body would only process it quicker. Yes, it would ease the pain, but in the end it would leave her feeling the same way because the only thing that would end her suffering would be blood from another fully turned vampire. And she was still waiting for Crimson on that one. There was no judgment in her when she came to check on Amara. Still she felt alone. Amara mentally trailed along the only remaining connection left, Trevor. He had turned. She understood the alteration in the energy signature now. She only wished she could have gotten a chance to let Josh and Lydia know. Josh would have jumped at the chance to be immortalized again. He was always running around looking for attention. Lydia might have denied it because of her son, or at least waited until Nathan was older. The decision had been taken from Lydia, and Amara didn't even know how Trevor felt about it. He could have killed Josh a few times himself, but he and Lydia had been close. "You're moping has really got to stop, Mar." Amara looked up and saw Trevor sitting on the edge of her bed. She hadn't even heard him come in. She had been focusing on the sun melting the snow on the balcony. "Yeah, well, I don't have anything else to do at the moment. I'm going anywhere. So what's up?" Trevor leafed through one of her white bound journals and settled on one entry that caught his eye. He burst out laughing. "Man, I can't believe you wrote all this shit down. It seems like a lifetime ago." 201

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"What, can't a girl make sure she isn't nuts? How do you think I stayed sane in high school? You went through one of your hibernation periods the middle of sophomore year and didn't talk to me until I was a senior. Yeah, the occasional grunt. Shit, if anything happened, you listened, but other than that I only had Lydia and Josh. How was I supposed to cope? Besides, from what I understand, it was another lifetime for you. Or have your memories completely receded? Andrew said they seemed flat. Not that I completely get that but—" "You're right. I think back on high school, which really was only a few years ago, but it seems like it was decades ago. I can't explain it really. The past is more real than the life I led. You can't fully comprehend it until you have actually turned. I hear that you wanted Crys to do it for you. Andrew finally throw you to the wayside?" "Very funny, Tre. I feel like shit and you come in here to pick me up. Very classy." "Hey, a guy has to try, right? Besides, I seem to remember that we normally have this kind of conversation where I try to get you into bed, but you always blow me off. Hmmm?" Amara laughed, but was interrupted by a wave of nausea that made her leap out of bed and race for the bathroom. After a few minutes of emptying her stomach, she rinsed her mouth out with water. "Man, your body is really fighting the process. Crys said you were bad. I figured PMS or something since you're still 202

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human, but I didn't realize your body was rejecting the change. How much blood did Andrew give you?" "I'm not sure. My hunger was pretty bad. Crimson said my body was forcing me to turn because I was thrown into all your energy. My body would have eventually changed over because I was reincarnated so quickly and didn't live human lifetimes in between that would have tainted my soul with mortality. I guess I'm rather rare. I don't know and honestly I'm not sure I care anymore. With all that's happened, knowing there's a hunter out there, that Josh and Lydia are dead. Do you even feel anything for them? Because it seems that you don't." Trevor took his old friend in his arms and hugged her. She moved out of his grip fairly quickly because his energy flared her hunger. Her phantom fangs pressed on her gums and she wanted to rip into his neck. She opened the balcony doors and let the air in. For a moment, the cool air helped clear her head, but then she was overcome with another chill so she shut the door and climbed back into bed. "Of course I feel their loss. They were connected to me, too. They were my friends, then and now. I know I can be a prick sometimes, but it doesn't mean I wanted them to die or that I want you to die. What else do you want me to say?" "I'm sorry. I know you care about all of us. I'm not feeling great or thinking straight. The one thing I really want is gone and I don't think he'll have me again. My soul is broken and nothing can fix it."

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"Andrew will come around. You hurt his pride. I would probably feel the same way if I found out the woman I cared about had fucked another guy." "So you know, too. Damn, does everyone in this fucking place know my business?" "Andrew talked to me. He wanted to know some stuff about you in the past." "What did you tell him? How I tried to fuck all of you guys or the entire football team?" Amara gritted her teeth as a wave of nausea overcame her. "No, I told him how you were the mother of us all, kept us all in line. That you barely dated in high school and you didn't have anyone serious because it was way too fucked where you lived. He's hurt and trying to figure it all out. Shit, you've been on his brain since he can remember. He thought you felt the same way about him and then you get here and sleep with Simon, the guy who killed him and you in the past. How did you think he'd feel?" "It's not a matter of how I think he feels. I know how he feels. I'm a fucking psychic remember and an empath. I can feel everyone's fuckin' feelings, and besides that he shoved his hatred down my throat. I know I screwed up. It wasn't something I planned on, none of this was. My life was going along good. Then I get this splitting headache and get this messed up call from Lyd, sayin' you've disappeared. So I drop everything and meet this guy I knew in a past life, have some maniac try to kill me, and discover Lydia's decapitated body. How the fuck do you think I feel? Especially when I screwed 204

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the guy who killed me and fucked over the only guy I have ever loved. I'm having a peachy month." Trevor burst out laughing at her tirade. After a moment the anger washed out of her when she realized how it all sounded. Amara started laughing until tears peppered her eyes. "Seriously, Tre. I love him. I never wanted to hurt Andrew. Once I feel better, I'm gonna ask Crimson to finish this. Afterwards I'm going back to Charlotte and I'm gonna start my life over. While I'm here, I don't want to step on his toes. Will you tell him I'm sorry for hurting him and I'll be out of his hair soon? I really do love him." Trevor only nodded and he met her eyes, his face serious. "You know you could have asked me to bring you over." Amara quieted, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I know, but I didn't want that between us. Being friends with you at times is hard enough. I can't imagine calling you Master for the rest of my existence. Besides, if we crossed that barrier, it might be you I slept with and Andrew would still be pissed at me. I remember how you were with Deanna." "It wouldn't be like that. I wouldn't lord over you. You know me better than that. How to push my buttons. Yeah, I guess you're right. Feel better, Mar. It's good to see you again. I mean that. I would have called eventually and told you what was going on. Before you go make sure you say goodbye." "How could I not? Besides, if I didn't, you would take your axe and have my head. I know you would have told me, but by then who knows where my life would have been." 205

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Trevor smiled and it caught her heart. She had forgotten she always had a crush on him. Back in high school, she had wanted to get him into bed in the worst way. Now he showed her what she already knew about their relationship. They would always be there for each other as good friends. Amara was grateful for that, happy her friend would give Andrew the message and soon she would be something totally different. Then all of this would be a bad memory. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eighteen When Amara woke the next day, her fever had broken and she felt better than she had in days. She indulged herself in a bath and took time to write in her journal. It was difficult reflecting over what had happened. She put down everything from Lydia's death to the fact she was returning to Charlotte once Crimson had turned her. Looking outside there was more green than white. Much of the snow had melted and it would be safe to head back in a few days. There was nothing she could do to soften Andrew's heart and she was going to have to live with that. She hoped that in the future, when they met, they could at least be civil. Amara searched the wardrobe and decided on a pair of jeans she had brought with her. They were the more comfortable choice and her body still ached. Her hunger was satisfied and she was at peace with the decision she wanted to leave the human race behind sooner rather than later. She was about to leave her room when she heard a muffled ringing coming from the other side of the bed. Her cell phone, which she had completely forgotten about. The people who would be calling her were Scott or Aaron. Then again, it could have been Delilah because she had forgotten to call her roommate. Amara thought about letting it ring, but old instincts got the better of her and she picked it up on the last ring. "Hello." "Miss Black, Detective Miller. Where are you?" 207

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"Detective. Hi. Can I call you back? I was on my way out. This is really not the best time." She heard a sigh in the background. "No, Miss Black. Frankly, I don't care if this is a bad time for you or not. I specifically told you not to leave and the officer was watching you has no memory of you or me ever assigning him to you. Can you explain how this happened? I need you to come back to the station." "Detective Miller, I have no idea why your officer doesn't remember me. He was very sweet. I went back to my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, he wasn't there. I got called away unexpectedly so stop breathing down my neck. I do have the right to come and go as I please without being looked after. You have my cell number. What more do you need?" Amara was in no mood to deal with the cop. "Yes, I do have your cell number. And if you had checked your messages, you would have realized that I have left you half a dozen. I was about to file a missing persons report, but I figured I would try one more time. Now Ms. Black, if you are unavailable I'll have to get a warrant so I can bring you to the station." "I doubt your warrant will do any good since you won't be able to find me. Sorry about not answering, but I've been very ill and they don't allow cell phones in hospitals. Now good luck, detective." She clicked her phone off and stared at the green digital screen. The one thing about technology was if she wasn't careful they actually might be able to find her. She threw it back in her bag. She saw her tarot cards, but they would do no good. It was late in the afternoon and she 208

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wasn't that hungry. There was active vampiric energy in the house, and she decided that it had to be Crimson. Since she was so old, Amara assumed Crimson had more tolerance to the daylight. Amara made her way downstairs. Crimson had told her to wait a little while to see if she would change her mind. Amara was resigned. Hell, if she could she would have waved a magic wand, transported herself to a different dimension, and gotten away from the hurt that lived in her heart, but even that would never completely leave her. Downstairs she walked into the library. "Crys, hey you got a sec—" A head turned from the chair and she saw it was Andrew. He wore the same faded blue jeans and black t-shirt he had worn when he brought her to the house. His hair was caught up in a ponytail and his skin had a rosy hue, signaling he had fed the night before. His eyes were smoky and the look on his face about killed her. "Andrew," Amara swallowed. She didn't think he would be awake. She always remembered he had slept during the day and only awoke a couple of hours before sunset. She'd always had more stamina and could stay awake during the day if she wanted. It meant she would have to crash a couple of days during the week, depending on how much energy she had burned up. "Hi—um—hi. I wasn't expecting you. Umm—I'll— ahh let you get back to whatever you're doing. I'm sorry for interrupting you." She waited a few moments hoping he would say something, but tension flared from him. She hung her head and walked out. 209

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"Amara." She turned and looked back, her breath held. "Yes," she whispered. "I'm glad you're feeling better." Her mood lightened. "Thank you. You said it would hit my system. I didn't think it would be so bad. Look, can I talk to you, I mean—" "I don't think now's really the best time." "Yeah, okay. I'm going to be leaving in a few days. I'll be going back to Charlotte. Before I leave I hope I'll get to say goodbye. I'll see you around." Amara walked back out of the library and went back to her room. She wondered if she would ever again get to be in his arms, to feel the warmth of his body. Her flesh ached for the way he held her and the way they fit together so perfectly. Her hands wrapped around her chest. Amara sighed when there was a knock on her door. "What?" she sighed. "Can I come in?" It was Andrew. Amara opened the door slowly. The look on his face was anguished. She noticed his hair was free from the elastic. "Trevor told me what you said." He reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. The heat of his energy surged up her arms, leaving her tingling and out of breath. "Please don't do this if you're going to push me away again. I can't do this." She untwined her fingers from his and walked back toward her bed, leaning her head on the post. His arms enclosed her waist. The warmth of him ignited her passion. She anticipated what might come if she played her cards right. He kissed the side of her throat. His lips brushed 210

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the almost healed punctures from Simon. They didn't cause her pain, but she moved away because she didn't want to relive that mistake. "Why do you fight me on this? I thought this is what you wanted?" he breathed against her throat. She turned in his grasp and looked into his eyes. Something was different in them. "I do, but this isn't right." Something about the shade of his eyes disturbed her. There was a hint of purple she had never seen before. She put her hands on his chest and felt his heart beating underneath it. There was another knock on her door. "Come in," she turned and looked past Andrew to see who was coming in. When she saw Andrew staring at her, she almost fainted. How was it possible? "You couldn't get enough of him could you? I was wrong. You are a whore." Amara looked from Andrew in the door and the one whose arms she was in. When she looked back, she saw Simon. He smiled at her, flashing a little fang. His expression was devious. She pushed him backward so he landed against the bed. He got up, laughing as she ran after the real Andrew. "Andrew, wait!" She caught up to him in the dining room and grabbed his arm. "Get off of me!" He yanked out of her grasp. It spun her hard enough she banged her side into the corner of the table. The sharp pain of the edge caught her breath. "It's not what you think. I thought he was you. You came to my room and knocked on the door and then you were at 211

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the door again. I didn't know it was Simon. I swear. What I said to you in the library, I meant it. Please." Andrew bared his fangs, then grabbed her around the waist and yanked her to him. His sharp nails dug through her clothes and into her skin. She bit her lip even harder until she bled. His eyes changed from gray to black. His mind slammed into hers so hard no barrier would hold it back. She had done it with Simon, but she couldn't with Andrew. She wondered if it was because she had tasted so much of him. The lock he had on her mind pulled on all her systems and she found she could barely draw a breath. One hand wrapped around her chin, holding her head immobile. His fangs were longer than they were the other night. "Is this what you wanted?" He moved her throat to the side striking deep in her jugular. The pain was amazing and she could only stand there enduring his wrath. He dug into her neck and tears trickled from the corners of her eyes. His other hand kept her close and she felt the excitement was getting him hard. Andrew drunk mouthful after mouthful and she could do nothing to stop him. It reminded her of her memory from the past where he had held her prisoner in her mind by doing the very thing he was doing now. How could she know Simon was impersonating Andrew. "Please, can't breathe," she wheezed. Andrew only burrowed into her harder. Stars appeared behind her eyes from the blood loss. Her fingers were going numb. She tried fighting him and moving her hands around his to try and push him off, but with his mental hold she was helpless. 212

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Isn't this what you wanted? "Not like this. Please not like this. Too much." But I thought you enjoyed pain. He fucked you hard and you liked it. I know you did. I can see it in your mind. You want more of him. "No—just you. Since before I knew you. It was always you." Consciousness was receding from Amara faster than she wanted. If he continued she'd be dead and she didn't know if she would be coming back. She didn't want to die. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she heard Trevor say. She was wrenched out of Andrew's grasp. Even though he had hurt her, she felt so lonely being separated from him. "She's mine," Andrew growled. "I can do what I please with her." "No, she's not yours. You have no claim on her. She isn't a human who can be passed around. If you hurt her anymore, I'll kill you myself." Trevor's arms encircle her and she could breathe again, but she felt weak. Her head fell against his shoulder. She forgot everything as the pain in her throat traveled up to her brain and overwhelmed her. "It's okay," she whispered to Trevor. "No, it's not. He doesn't own you." "Put me down." Trevor only held her closer, but she poked him enough he obliged. Her feet were wobbly and her head swam. She took a step toward Andrew but caught herself on Trevor because her footing was unsteady. Amara crossed the short distance 213

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between them. She stumbled and fell into Andrew, who backed away when she landed on her knees. She reached out and touched the leg of his jeans. "You filled my soul and I loved the ghost of you. The dream of it, what we could have. Not just from before." "Come on, Mar. You don't owe him an explanation. Not after what he did." Trevor lifted her up and helped her back to her room. She looked over her shoulder and saw Andrew wiping his hand across his mouth. He locked eyes with her and the look he gave her was pure murder. She heard him growl low in his throat like an angry wolf. Back in her room, she sat numb on the bed. Trevor cleaned and dressed her wound, but didn't feel the pain. She was all but dead inside. For the second time, she had screwed herself. All because Simon had tricked her. There would be no third time. She knew that. Andrew had come to a place where he was willing to talk. She could have lived with that, but she fucked it up by letting Simon in. "What happened? I talked to him last night and he said he was going to talk to you. He would have killed you if I hadn't pulled him off." "Simon came here posing as Andrew. He tricked me, Tre, but then Andrew was at the door and he took it the wrong way. I went after him to explain, but he—" "How did Simon trick you?" Trevor asked. "I took some of his blood the other day. He said he would have power over me. I guess he got into my thoughts. The same with Andrew. I couldn't do anything because he was 214

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holding me with his mind. I guess even the smallest amount of blood has an effect on me." Trevor ran his hand through his hair. "Whoever gives you the most blood will have a small amount of power over you, even after you cross over." "Why would Simon want to control me?" Trevor shrugged. Amara got up and pulled off her shirt, not caring about undressing in front of him. "Tre, Simon wants me all to himself. I don't think Crys gets that. He would turn me if I let him." "That's not a bad thing. Simon is powerful and old. His blood would make you stronger." "Yeah, but he was also insane because of Kathryn, and I think that it's still in him. Crimson doesn't see it. She said I'm unusual because I came back quickly. In the past, Simon wanted to kill me because he thought I was gaining Crys's powers as Record Keeper. She told me the reason he was still killing after he murdered Kathryn was because her spirit was still driving him so she could get enough power to come back again. Think about it, if Simon did kill Lydia, then why act all insane when Crys is connected to all the vampires? Think what an advantage it would give him." "Yeah, but you said you felt Josh die. Simon was here when that happened. So who killed Josh? The killings might not even be related. What would happen if you followed in Crimson's shoes again? Do you really want to be Record Keeper?" Amara shrugged. "I'm not sure, but if you got all your memories and powers back after you were turned this time, 215

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maybe it'll happen to me, too. Maybe underneath it all I was getting the powers of Record Keeper. Who knows? Simon's been trying to drive a wedge between Andrew and me so he can have me all to himself. He's using the fact that in the past I fucked him all because of some deal I don't remember. I don't know who killed Josh. I think I'm in too deep not to want to stay human at this point. I have to turn to stay alive. I'm trying not to mess anything else up, I gotta get outta here." Amara bent over and started throwing stuff in her bag, but when she did she nearly fainted. "Even if you wanted to leave, you're in no condition to. Andrew took a lot of blood. You have to rest." "I'm in more danger the longer I do. Even with everything here, I can't stay. The longer I do, the more painful it is. My soul hurts from being around him. I love Andrew so much. I can't stand by and see him ripped to shreds over the bad decisions I make. What other choice do I have? Stay here and be killed by Andrew in a fit of rage, be killed by an insane vampire, or deal with Simon? There are no good answers." Amara sat back down on the bed waiting for the dizziness to subside. "You have no other choice. At least until you get better. I'll talk to Andrew again. I'll make him see what happened. Don't say anything to Crys about your theory. At least not yet. She's been in a mood lately. Something about her seems off. I'm not sure what, but she seems different from before. You need to stay away from Simon." "Yeah, you don't have to tell me twice." 216

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Amara threw on a long T-shirt and went outside on the balcony. She felt Trevor leave and basked in the sunlight. The colors were perfect. Orange was painted low in the sky and the pinks were burning the clouds closest to the fire ball. The midnight blue-gray of twilight was beginning to settle over the land and a few stars winked at her. The breeze caressed her face. She sighed and wanted to hold onto the memory of when she and Andrew weren't at odds, when his arms were always the comfort and solace she needed. Her mind drifted back in time. More memories of her past opened up the longer she was around the other vampires. She remembered some of her times with Magdalena and the time when she was getting reacquainted with Andrew after years of being away from him. Her child had died in her arms and Simon was coming after her. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nineteen Fear coursed through Jacquelyn as she raced through the streets of London with the hunter quick on her trail. The ache of Magdalena's death still haunted her. Her soul was hardly able to mourn the loss. The night held a threat she had never faced before. The hunter was one of their own, murdering all those powerful among their kind. It had been years since she had even associated with other vampires, except the ones at the bordello. Now they were all dead and her child was too. Her instincts told her to run far away, but the only safe place was Crimson's flat. At least there she would be protected. The hunter was behind her and she ran until finally she saw the building come into view. Crossing the road and dodging a carriage, she went into the doorway, feeling the energy barrier she crossed. It was a mental projection keeping unwanted humans and vampires out. Only she and a few others were allowed inside Crimson's place without her being there. The vampire had been her friend for centuries and kept Jacquelyn updated on Andrew. It had been four centuries since she had seen her Master. For many years she had barely thought about him. Over the past few she had been toying with the idea of going back and getting reacquainted. Crimson had sent word that in her absence he had chosen another to bring into darkness. At first, Jacquelyn had been jealous, but over the years she'd come to understand it was necessary. They all felt a need to be around others of their own kind. Loneliness could drive any 218

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of them insane. If you weren't happy being alone, you brought another into the fold. She had done this with Magdalena, who had lived in the streets, selling her body and soul to eat and live. The girl had hit a pang in her heart so she had spared the child. The next night she had found the waif on her doorstep, intrigued by the woman who had let her live. Jacquelyn had taken the girl in and fostered her, brought her up to be a good human, desirable to men and women. The girl never wanted to marry. She only wanted to spend an eternity with Jacquelyn. After thinking it over for a while, she'd consented and brought Magdalena into the night. For years, they had lived together. Jacquelyn grew frustrated with Magdalena and understood what Andrew saw in her and it made her long for her old Master because part of her soul was missing without him and it had taken her eons to realize that. It had been Magdalena's choice to open the brothel. Jacquelyn had fought against it for a while and then finally consented. Magdalena had always gotten what she wanted. She let her child run it and on occasion got involved with the nightly business. Things had run smoothly for a long time. They would pay off the tax collectors and wine and dine the local law. Now their dream was over. Jacquelyn needed Andrew's arms around her, needed for him to tell her it was safe. But he had another in his life and there was no guarantee he still loved her the way she loved him. Magdalena had been a wonderful distraction, but her soul ached to have his fingers run over her body. His mouth against hers and the feel of his fangs in her throat. Jacquelyn 219

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wanted him to be proud of her and to know she had made a life for herself, had her very own child when for so long she had hated the night and wanted nothing to do with him because he had stolen her humanity. That wasn't the way of it at all. He had rescued her from dying and she had never really thanked him. Of course, she was still pissed at him for treating her like a possession. You were too young, Magdalena. I promised you forever and that was taken away. Whoever did this to you, I swear I will get revenge. No matter how long it might take. Jacquelyn bit back tears. Jacquelyn flattened herself against the doorframe as the hunter moved by. He was so close she heard him breathing. When he turned, she was not expecting what she saw. It was Simon. Why was he after her? Why would he kill her child? Simon stopped. Jacquelyn willed her heart to slow even more and held her breath. The hood of his cloak had slipped off his head, revealing his pale face. His eyes were pits of insanity. The echoes of hooves on cobblestone thundered in her ears. The night was still and busy in that precious second as Simon peered into the darkness where she hid. His mind moved over the spot where she lay concealed. If she wasn't careful, if even the hem of her dress fell outside the protective barrier he would have her. Even the air couldn't be disturbed. If it had been any other vampire, one younger or not so experienced, the illusion would have not been broken. After a moment he moved on. Letting out her breath, she pushed open the door to Crimson's flat. The vampire made it up the stairs feeling her walls crumble. Everything that had 220

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been holding her together was coming unglued. Now was the time, more than ever, she needed Andrew to hold her, mumble nonsense things to her, anything, as long as she was in his arms. She got to the top of the stairs, opened the inner door, and sensed another presence. Her mind went back into battle mode and she crept in slowly. A figure stood by the window, back turned to her. It was another vampire. "Who are you?" "Aren't you happy to see me, Jacquelyn?" The man turned. "Andrew." She rushed into his arms and sobbed. There was no hatred or malice between them. There was only her and him. She looked up into his eyes, remembering how much she used to love watching them change color with his moods. Now they were dark and smoky. Their lips met and she melted as if the centuries had never happened. At that one moment everything was right in her existence. "He was outside. Following me. I ran. I didn't know what else to do. He killed my child. Took everything I had away from me. Why Andrew? Why?" He cradled her and she felt safe for the first time in a long while. This was where she was meant to be. Now her soul was complete. "He didn't take everything, love. I'm still here. Hush now." Jacquelyn smiled. Yes, he was here now. Could she stay with him? He had someone else to take her place. He answered her question before she could even voice it. "Anna is gone. She left for Paris ages ago and I haven't heard from her. I came here looking for you. I've kept track of you 221

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over the years. Didn't I tell you if you ever needed me I would be there? Nothing can separate us, not even death." "I know. I was so angry at you. Still am, I think. I don't know. It doesn't matter now. All I want to do is get the bastard who killed my child. It's Simon. Did you know that? We have to tell Crys." "We'll head back to the castle when it's safe. For now, the day is coming and you need to rest. When was the last time you fed, hmm? Still starving yourself? Tsk tsk." "What—no, we were going out tonight to hunt. I was running late." "Drink then, love. No arguments." Andrew offered his neck. She stopped and studied him. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be a sculpted angel she would find in a cathedral. She had been a fool not to contact him in the centuries since they had been apart. He didn't hate her the way she'd feared. Just the opposite. She had forced him to make another child because she hadn't been there for him. They were safe here for the moment. Without hesitation she took his throat, biting deep into the vein. The blood was rich and earthy, filled with more power and humanity than she remembered. He moaned while she fed. His love washed over her. The years they were separated had left him angry with her, missing her, loving her, and cursing her. All gambits of emotion overwhelmed her heart as his mind entwined with hers. In those few moments she was in heaven with him beside her. The past melted away and she loved him eternally. Nothing could change that. He loved her and had 222

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forgiven her for running away. She would have cried if she hadn't been so conflicted with grief and her longing for him. Finally, she moved away. Her heart had healed some and when she looked up the expression on his face was the most peaceful she had seen in ages. Her soul was whole again. She nestled into his arms and wondered if, even in lives to come, they would still fit together the way they were now. **** Amara turned from the balcony and put her hand on the bandage because it was seeping again. She hadn't felt lightheaded in a while, but the memory enveloping her had left her in tears. The echo of the moment lingered in her soul and she knew in the past he had loved her. Amara focused on the tenderness she experienced in her Maker's arms. Andrew's love had warmed her cold heart and somewhere the emotion still lived in him. That was what she wanted again. He had once told her he would find her through time and different lives when she was in her hour of need; they were bound by more than flesh and bone. Even now, after all she'd been through, she knew it was true. The thread binding them was a soul tie, which was why he had taken Lydia's place in the web. He was rooted so much deeper than her friends had ever been. Nothing could break their connection. Not even his hatred. Why was she driving herself crazy? With what had happened, she knew she was not going to have that again. At least she had the memories. What she had remembered about Simon made her want to leave even more. The only 223

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one who could turn her now was either Trevor or Andrew. It was not a good idea for her to go to Crimson because she was obviously being deluded by Simon. If it was true, Crimson could have control over her mind, she was not willing to risk it. She trusted her, but with the recent events she wasn't as sure as she had been days earlier. Besides, she only wanted to give her life to the one she loved, even if it meant her death. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty The energy of the night played over Amara's skin. She sucked it in through every ounce of her being, praying it would be enough. Browsing through the wardrobe, she pulled out something that reminded her of the old days. She tried wearing a necklace, but the tears in her throat made that impossible. Her dress was black and studded with small jewels. She went through her makeup and did what she could to make herself look presentable. Her ears were dotted with teardrop rubies she had found in a small jewelry box on her nightstand. Crimson thought of everything. Now she hoped she could pull it off. She slipped on some red heels to match her earrings and lipstick, which were oddly enough the color of blood. Go figure. She didn't need anything to make her appear pale because she was running a couple of pints low. Amara pulled everything in her that was vampiric to the surface. Her strength boosted a little and her fangs pushed through her gums. Maybe later they would be real. From the vibe she got, Andrew was with Crimson and Trevor in the library. She walked in holding her head high. Once she stepped in, all three vampires looked up and stared. "Wow." Trevor's jaw nearly dropped. She winked at him. Andrew got up, but she shot him a glance and opened her mind. Amara's thoughts captured him, reversing what he had done to her earlier. He couldn't move unless she willed it. His heartbeat mirrored hers. Hatred 225

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spread through her. The thread connecting them vibrated with it. "Could you guys leave us alone?" Amara asked. Crimson nodded at Trevor. Both of them walked out of the room and Amara heard the click of the latch. Andrew was frozen. The look on his face informed her he would rather be doing something ugly and painful to her. She barely hung onto the confidence that she had. "Is this payback?" Pain shot through her head as he fought the hold. She wanted to meet his gaze, but she stared at the floor. Trying to wrestle him with her mind was tiring. He tugged on their connection and in an instant it was broken. Her power and self-confidence fell away. The vampire in her retreated and she was left vulnerable. Now he circled her, taking her in as any hunter stalking its prey. He tore the bandage off her neck and she held in a yelp. His hand held the back of her throat and his tongue moved over the marks he'd made earlier. "What did you come down here for? To beg me for mercy? Trevor told me what happened. What you said to him about Simon. Why should I believe you? You already fucked him once, what would keep you from doing it again?" "Andrew, I don't want Simon. I never have. Honestly, what happened between us was a mistake left over from a lifetime ago. But you're right. I only want one thing from you." Andrew chuckled. "Sorry, love, my promise of eternity is no longer on the table. You're very fuckable at the moment and nothing else. Is that what you wanted before you left? One good fuck to get me out of your system?" He moved a 226

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piece of hair away from her face and made it a point to touch her lips. The tips of his fingernails left scratches on her cheek that stung. Amara held the feeling of seeing him after centuries, knowing that she loved him. They were each part of one another's souls. He was angry and hurt now. His distrust was evident. She desired to make him believe in her again. Part of her had resigned herself to the possibility forever was not in the cards anymore. She, at least, wanted to touch the small part of his soul which still cherished her. "If that's what you want. I won't fight you." She touched the side of his face. He snarled at the contact. "I want you to finish what you started." Puzzlement crossed his features and then he started laughing. "You never cease to amaze me, Jacquelyn. Never. You want me to kill you! So you want to reincarnate, find me, and fuck me over again?" "No. If I come back, it won't be for a while. I think. I figure I'm going to be hunted down. Why not save the hunter the use of his blade? If I leave here now, I'll be hunted and killed like some animal, and I don't want that. It's only fair that you kill me once again. This time you don't have to listen to me whining about stealing away my humanity. We'll be even. Do me a favor, can you kiss me once like old times? Call it a girl's dying wish. I want to know I wasn't crazy. That everything I remember had some relevance. That I loved you, still do, and once upon a fairy tale, you loved me, too. Can you do that for me? Please." 227

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"My, my, such a sweet last request and said with such conviction. I expected you to come down here with more fight. Our arguments in the old days would get so heated and we could go at it like rabbits to make up. I guess some things have changed about you, love." "I'm sorry for hurting you, Andrew. Truly I am, but you took me by surprise. All of this did. I thought my dreams about you, my longings to fill the hole in my heart, were brought on by the used up dreams of a vampire crazy teen. But then I met you and I never thought it would be possible to love you so much. I—" Amara stopped, knowing she was making a fool of herself and he didn't care. He thought she was enticing him to change his mind. So she waited for him to seal her destiny. He smashed his lips into hers, but when he realized she wasn't fighting he relaxed. His lips smoothed against hers and her hands automatically wrapped around his neck. In that moment, she experienced everything in the memory from before. The hole in her heart healed. Peace settled over her, and knowing he was alive made her life worth it. Even if it was her destiny to live for this split second of infinity, she was grateful. Her body hummed where he touched her. Amara only wished he would take her in his arms and love her. Tears caressed her cheeks but she'd ruined everything by her mistake with Simon. Her soul would pay for it with an eternity. If she ever did have the luck to stumble upon Andrew again, he would remember what she'd done and hold it against her. She'd wrecked it all with a stolen kiss. Rapture filled her and her soul sang until he pulled away. 228

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Bitter-sweet happiness scorched her because he had granted her last request. She prayed to see him again in another life, but she could only hope to be so lucky. His gaze searched her face, but she couldn't bear his scrutiny. Finally, he bent his head toward her throat. He inhaled the scent of her blood. Lips pressed against the punctures he'd inflicted. She winced. His teeth scraped along her flesh, fitting themselves perfectly. His arms encircled her and where he was rough before he was gentle, trying not to crush her as his mouth pulled on her liquid life. She sighed. His thoughts wrapped around hers entwining into every aspect of her mind. Amara surrendered everything. No more secrets or lies. He saw all her soul, relived the loss she felt for him when he died in her arms. He saw the memory of when he was there for her when her child had died, felt the rage and anger toward him when he had ripped her humanity away ages ago. And knew her love was not a farce. She was his. The other half of his soul. This time around she finally understood that. He had been right in centuries past. Nothing could divide them. They would find one another even though lifetimes separated them and they wore different faces. Time meant nothing. "Thank you," she whispered against his ear, holding onto the memory of the night when he appeared in her hotel room, of the night hundreds of years ago when she was human and she loved him because he had watched over her. Her limbs were growing colder. It was even harder to breathe, but she held onto him, held onto everything she remembered. Her fingers had stopped tingling. She could barely feel him against her. Physical sensation was something 229

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she would miss like how he smelled and how he tasted. Andrew pulled away and she only saw him through tunnel vision. His eyes were wet and his mouth stained more with her lipstick than with blood. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." "S'okay," Amara breathed. Her heartbeat slowed. It wasn't so bad to die because she was in the arms of the man she loved. She could die knowing that, in the end, she had been true to her heart. "Thank you." "I was an asshole. I really was. There's still time." "Don't want to leave you. Not again." Andrew bit into his wrist, letting blood drip into her mouth. "Drink. Take enough to strengthen yourself and we can do this the proper way if you wish. Your choice this time? Do you want that?" "Yes." She took the drops of blood, feeling stronger with each one. The calling light of death had dimmed and she was pulled back to her body. His life gave her a few more heartbeats before the light would be bright again. Andrew picked her up and brought her back upstairs, placing her on her bed. She drank a few more swallows. Amara was stronger than before, more locked into her body. Andrew settled next to her. Her breathing was still very shallow, but she was alive. He leaned over her, kissing her gently. "Why did you let—?" he asked. She stopped him. "Hush. It doesn't matter now. You know I've never stopped loving you. Even if you are still an asshole," she giggled. "Yes, I was being one now, wasn't I?" 230

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"Yes, but that's behind us. All I want to do is move forward. To have forever with you. You made me whole. Simon was a mistake. I never meant—" "It's okay. I didn't think you remembered all of the past," Andrew whispered. "I don't, not all of it. I remember how I felt, but I don't remember the feel of you. I want to. I want to know what enflames you. If my kiss makes you want me the way I crave you. If I touch you, will you moan or sigh? I don't want anything else to come between us. Not again. He was trying to split us up. I don't know why, but I'm afraid for Crys. I'm afraid to be human. I'm afraid to die." "I can remedy that if you still want it." "Yes." He smiled. "I was a fool before and let the past creep up and take hold. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to do that. I was blinded by rage. I don't want to come back to your room and find that you've left me and run off without saying goodbye again. Without letting me know if you loved me. You broke my heart in the past, but I forgave you and gave you distance. Years turned into centuries and the agony of your departure only grew. I thought I could make up for it with Anna, but she never filled the void you left behind. We've been granted a second chance. Do you forgive me?" "Yes." She kissed him. Her lips were a perfect fit against his soft ones. His fingers found the zipper in her dress. She was getting stronger and whatever hatred and pain she felt evaporated. It really didn't matter. Yes, he had hurt her, but she had provoked him. All 231

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that mattered was that she loved him and her soul wasn't barren any longer. "I desired you the first night I broke into your hotel room. Even while you slept I wanted you. I didn't want to scare you in case you weren't the one. But you were. I'm so sorry for hurting you. Last time I made the choice without you knowing what your life would turn into. Now you know what awaits you." "I know what I want. It's what I've always wanted. Besides, I was never human to begin with," she smirked. Andrew grinned. His fingers dropped her dress, leaving her naked to his eyes. He moved her hair back and traced the raw wounds. She flinched, but it didn't stop him from kissing them lightly. His eyes took in her form and she wasn't embarrassed to be exposed in front of a man she didn't even know. Her soul knew him and that was the most important thing. She laid there waiting for his hands to slide over her body and touch her breasts. In this he granted all her fantasies. He leaned in and kissed her, using his tongue to probe her mouth. Amara wrapped her arm around his neck and let him hold her weight. Her free hand slid under his waistband and touched his cock, which had grown hard from the anticipation. She smiled at how well endowed he was. They were going to have lots of fun. Backing away, he left her hanging onto the tender moment they'd shared while he shed his clothes. Amara took in his body as the moonlight peeked out from behind an errant cloud. His pale chest shone. His blond hair was free on his shoulders while the breeze played with his locks. Her eyes 232

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took in the outline of his muscles she would soon feel underneath her touch. Everything about him was like an ancient god come to life. Apollo come to claim his bride. Through everything it was his color-changing eyes that stirred her passion. Now they burned sea-storm gray, showing his hunger for her. In those eyes her soul met the man she had known centuries ago. There was no more hatred, only the love mirrored in her soul. He smiled catching the end of her thoughts. The tips of his fangs peeked out from under his parted lips. Andrew resumed his position next to her now naked body. He cock was hard and ready for her. He allowed her to stroke him for a few seconds. The silky skin of his shaft smoothed against her palm while she caressed him and the other cupped his balls. Amara smiled wickedly. She tried to scoot down under him to take him into her mouth. He returned her smile with an even more devious one. Nibbling her ear and her throat, he fondled the pulse point with his tongue and moved his fingers over her firm thigh. Fingers slid deep inside her depths and she was already wet from the anticipation of him taking her. Instead of granting her wish, he used his teeth and tongue to tease her nipples. He bit and suckled her all at once, pressing his fangs deep enough so that she felt the pain, but not deep enough to penetrate. Her hands dug into the skin of his back. There would be scratches there in the morning. He was growing harder, if that was possible. Sweat had broken into a sheen on her body from her trying not to buckle under him. He was teasing her with his fingers, working her clit with his thumb while 233

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applying pressure against her inner walls. Muscles clenched and the pressure built. She was getting ready to come, but he left her hovering. In his own way, this was his punishment for seeking out another man. It was his way of letting her know she would never want to be with anyone else again. "Please. Andrew. Oh please." Her thoughts and words cried out to him. Her body vibrated with the pleasure. He knew exactly what she yearned for and only obliged by pushing his fangs into her breasts harder along the ridge of her areola and her nipple, hardening it even more. His thumb rubbed her throbbing node faster. Amara couldn't hold back anymore and she writhed underneath him. Her hands kneaded the flesh of his ass. She wanted to take him into her mouth and get the taste of him, feel the friction of his dick against her hard and sensitive fangs. That would come later. Now he was in control and made it a point for her to remember what only he could do to her. Finally, he stopped teasing her nipples and licked his tongue down her navel, placing his mouth where his fingers had been. It was scratchy, and that combined with the hardness of his fangs nipping at her, Amara groaned and squirmed. Her vision was filled with stars. His mind was feeding hers with pictures from the past and fantasies he'd had about her since he first remembered her. All of these plus his actions transported her into another world. "Stop teasing. Please!" Andrew obliged by mounting her hard and fast. His cock slid into her wet depths with one quick motion. He was bigger than she'd had before and her muscles were tight. It made 234

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her realize how much she had missed this. When he settled into her, they were a perfect fit. Feelings came to her from lives past when she'd had this man and he had sated her every desire. Even in the years she ran the brothel with the skilled men she'd had, her body had desired him. Now her body remembered how to move against him and it wasn't awkward finding their rhythm. Her lover clutched her to him and she was able to look him in the eye. Her muscles tightened around him. As the tension built, she angled her throat to the unmarked side. He struck when the first ripple of orgasm pounded through her so the pain and the ecstasy made her tremble completely. He pumped inside of her, still hard. He drank and Amara realized that she was falling, hovering. It was the same sensation from her dream when she was dying. Finally, she was lighter than even the dust. He held her in his arms. She couldn't move, but she was aware. He clutched her mind. This was her choice while she hung on the edge of reality, on the gray line between life and death. One choice or one ragged breath too late and she would join the spirits she spoke to. Is this what you truly wish? Yes. She felt him smile in her mind and there was something else as well. There was another presence she was aware of and it wasn't the Angel of Death. It felt familiar, from long ago. She tried to hold onto it. A voice that wasn't Andrew's whispered in her thoughts, but she couldn't hear the words. A warning sensation moved through her, but hot liquid scorched the back of her throat and she lost the voice 235

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completely. She choked because her muscles didn't want to work. Her first instinct was to fight, but Andrew's calming influence reassured her. She trusted him for what he was and who he had been before. Her heart guided her and after a few more minutes, she was able to gain enough strength to drink on her own. In her stupor, she heard the door open. "I knew you couldn't stay away. Beat me to it, I see." "Crimson, do you mind? I'm in the middle of something. Don't you ever knock? She has only begun to turn, if I leave her now things could go awry." Andrew's voice was cold addressing the other vampire. "Ahh, so the cycle begins again. You know she'll be older than you, and more powerful. The master outweighed by the child. She's different. The night will bleed before her and she will glorify in the shadows. Don't you think? And I don't have to knock. This is my house after all." "I don't care who is more powerful. She is complete and that's all that matters. Whatever time I have with her, I'm grateful. Now leave us be. There's already been enough trouble from Simon trying to keep us apart. If it wasn't for him, this might have been easier. What she did in the library took heart, something that the old Jacquelyn was not so good about. She showed me her soul, Crys. We've never had that before. And I almost killed her, twice." "Oh hush. Don't take it for granted this time. It doesn't matter what happened between her and Simon. And yes, she has changed more than you realize. I think we all have. Hmm. She won't be the same self-centered bitch she was. Look what happened downstairs, she gambled on her life 236

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when she truly wasn't sure about all of this. I guess her hand came up all aces," said Crimson. "But—" "You will not lose her, my friend. There will be fresh food in the cellars when she awakes. Night, night." "Thank you." The door shut slowly. Amara's body was on fire. With their guest gone, Andrew focused all of his attention back on her. In that, she felt safe, but her hunger desired more. The blood she took in was so familiar it opened the tumblers in her mind, washing over her. In the drowning memories, she found she hadn't lost herself. She was still here and her past now counted back over a thousand years. For now she was happy. In her mind she was floating as the snow in the winter night, drifting down to earth in her lover's arms, reborn to be with him for eternity. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-One Jacquelyn stretched and opened her eyes when she felt the sun streaming in on her body. It had warmed her enough that she was still sleepy, but her skin was beginning to itch, signaling that the rays had been on her for some time. Who in the hell left the curtains open? she thought. She climbed out of bed and pushed them across the window. When she did, Jacquelyn noticed the snow and found that rather odd. She rifled through her wardrobe, found something to wear, and glanced back at the bed. Andrew was sleeping like the dead. She smiled. He always did that and was hardly ever awake during the day. Her immunity to daylight was higher than many of the other vampires, including her maker. She remembered last night. It had been a long time since they had ended up in bed together, especially after a fight. Over the centuries, she had concluded that she didn't blame him for her life in darkness. He could have let her die. And Crimson had been right, she had hated the night for the longest time, until Andrew forced her to run from him. Escaping to London and finding her own way was the best thing she could have done. Now she was free and he respected her. He had changed in that way, too. He seemed more thoughtful. Last night he showed her he still knew exactly how to manipulate her. For now, she was hungry and had a feeling she needed to catch up with Crimson. Walking by her vanity, she noticed her necklace. That was rather odd. She had put it away in the back of her drawer the 238

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last time she had worn it. Jacquelyn shrugged. Maybe she was getting senile in her old age. After all, she was heading for the thousandth year mark. There weren't that many of her kind who could boast about such a feat. Shrugging off the thought of age, she could hardly believe she'd lived for so long when in the beginning she'd hated it so much. Andrew stirred and she flashed back to him standing in the woods by a cemetery. It was out of place. The whole scene was wrong. What the hell was Andrew doing there? He was dead ... and where was Simon? Gods, she didn't remember getting back to the castle after Crimson took Simon's heart. It was autumn when they hunted for him. The pain in her back must have healed with sleep. Maybe that was why it seemed so strange. Maybe her sleep had been longer than she'd realized. Jacquelyn ran her tongue over her lips and shook her head, but then she got the aftertaste of Andrew's blood in her mouth. She stopped then. That was impossible. Jacquelyn ran from the room and out the door to be met with a hallway she didn't recognize. Everything was different. She glanced at her clothes. She was wearing breeches and a shirt that wasn't hers. Taking a few deep breaths, she steadied herself. Within her mind, she felt the bonds that connected her to the others. One of them was Andrew and another one was Trevor. How was that possible? Simon had killed him. She had found the body. She had gone to Crimson in the first place because she was tired of all her loved ones 239

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being killed. Panic settled in her brain, but she squelched it for a second and listened for Crimson's heartbeat. Running down unfamiliar hallways, she discovered Crimson leaning over one of her desks, keeping records. Jacquelyn stopped and had a flash of memory, like a recent dream. She was meeting this woman for the first time and Crimson had her hands around her throat, but somehow she had found the strength to pry her off. Strange. Crys hasn't done anything like that since I refused the necklace she gave me, but that was centuries ago. "Crimson, what the hell's going on? How did Andrew end up in my bed? And where the hell are we?" The other vampire looked up and smiled. "I'm surprised you're awake. Your turning should have taken another couple of days, but then again you were already halfway there before you met Andrew. I think it's best this way." "Damn it! Tell me what the fuck is going on! I wake up with Andrew beside me, not that I mind, but he's been dead for four hundred years, and that is not a ghost I slept with. What kind of stunt did you pull? And where the hell are we?" "Amara, calm down. You should eat something before we go any further. You know you were always crabby if you didn't eat after you woke up. That was why Andrew hated to force feed you." "Why are you calling me Amara? What's going on?" The other vampire said nothing, but dragged Jacquelyn after her. She tried fighting, but Crimson had always been physically stronger. As she walked, she could smell the 240

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human stock below. Finally, they reached the servants' quarters and, without question, Crimson walked in, surprising three of the servants. They all wore black and had pale makeup. The place smelled of sex and some other sweet substance that she curled her nose at. "Take whichever one you want, love." Jacquelyn said nothing, but licked her lips. She liked the one reading a book, who looked more prim and proper than the others. She smiled at the child and touched her face. Her flesh was warm and she returned the gesture. Without question, the human bared her neck and the vampire saw other bite marks, but she didn't care. She took the girl in her arms and plunged her fangs into the child's throat. Once the sweet blood hit her mouth, she was enraptured. It had been so long since she'd allowed herself this ecstasy. It was sweeter than she remembered and stuck to the roof of her mouth. For the first time Jacquelyn noticed that she felt no remorse when she drank. This was what she had been meant to do. Somehow, her sleep had helped heal her heart. The more she drank, the more events settled into place. At first, she assumed it was the memories of her victim, but no. They were hers. The memories played over in her mind, tumbling over a dam. Jacquelyn grew up, lived a mortal life, experiencing everything through the eyes of a human. Her vision was obscured by the world around her because she was unhappy. Because she was trapped inside the mortal coil and there was no way of getting out, no way of letting anyone know she was there, except for the few souls that she was connected with. 241

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Trevor, Lisha and Joshua. She recognized Lisha as Lydia, though Trevor and the others were the same. Questions formed in her mind. She threw the girl away, still alive. Crimson said nothing, but followed her back to the library where they sat down in front of the cold fireplace. "Crys—what—where am I? Why do I remember these strange things? It's like I've lived another life. Why is Andrew upstairs? Simon murdered him ages ago and broke my heart." Crimson sighed. "You died, love. Don't you remember the night before we went to kill Si? You came to me and told me he wanted you to take my heart and get rid of me so you and he could be together. He promised you that I'd come back one day and we'd all be together. He wanted the power to resurrect Kathryn. That was why he kept killing even after she died. Somehow, her spirit broke through the veil of death and was able to speak to his mind and keep him insane. That was why he wanted to control you and kill me. I forgave you for your little slip in judgment. We were friends until the end. Simon broke your back. You were dead for eighty-six years, but then you returned. Born into a mortal body. You found all of us again. Andrew did the same, only he lived mortal lifetimes in between and that changed the very nature of his soul. He has learned some lessons. He's no longer the prick he was before. All of his memories are there. Unlike Andrew, you reincarnated without living human lifetimes in between your death and this incarnation. You shouldn't have come back to the fold so quickly. There must have been a reason for it. Do you know why you did? None of my powers can see 242

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into your future. You are a mystery, almost as if the gods are testing me or shutting down my abilities. I still have them, but with you, I haven't been able to see." "But you're the Record Keeper. Your knowledge spans generations. You were going to have me take your place, or at least let me share the burden with you. I remembered that, but not the part about making a deal with Simon. Why would I have done that?" Crimson said nothing, but only looked at the distraught vampire. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Two How could I have been dead? How was it possible I was able to come back and remember everything? Is that truly Andrew upstairs? Her intuition told her it was. Up until a few hours ago, she had been human. The realization overwhelmed her, and she also remembered she had been brought here because she was looking for Trevor, who had disappeared. Lydia had died, and she was a target of the hunter. She wasn't sure if it was Simon this time. The pain of Josh being killed filled her again. Simon had tried to seduce her so he could gain power over her again. She had died, and she remembered feeling the pain in her back and then floating to a place where there was no pain or sorrow. No worries and no fears. She didn't quite understand it all, but she had been there. Crimson interrupted her thoughts. "Why did you come back, love? There must have been a reason. You're the only one of us who has died and has not been buried under lifetimes of humanity. I wasn't sure if you were gaining my powers. Maybe they're still in there. Maybe that was one reason why you were such a strong psychic. I should be able to read your mind, but you're blank." "I don't know. I've been dead for almost a century and you expect me to answer your questions as if we spoke yesterday." "Amara, you're the only one that remembers what it's like to be dead. So sure, I want to know whatever knowledge you 244

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have gained. I want to know how you slipped through the cracks of death to end up here, now. It might give us an answer as to how Kathryn did it all those years ago, whispering to Simon even after he had taken her life." "I don't know!" Jacquelyn yelled. Flames shot out of the fireplace. The vampire jumped back and looked over at Crimson. "That's new. What else are you hiding up there?" Jacquelyn shrugged. "You tell me. I've been dead for almost a century. How am I supposed to process all this?" "Things will make sense in time. You have that now. You might not recognize yourself in the mirror, but I'll be around, we all will. Don't shut us out. Andrew's not the vampire he was before. You already know that. Take your time, explore. Remember who you are and who you were, it'll make sense. I promise, love." Jacquelyn smiled and then stared out at the falling snow. She scanned the room and noticed one book that was familiar, the book of names. Skimming through it, she found herself and Andrew. The dates beside her name showed she had died almost a century ago. There was another notation next to it. She flipped to the page footnoted and saw on the blank page her name and Andrew's again with the date she had returned, not the day she had been turned, but the day of her birth. The gap in her memories was disappearing. She left the book and wandered back to her room, still stunned. Andrew was asleep and she found a large binder next to three other books that looked familiar, but her hands gravitated toward the black leather-bound book. She opened this first 245

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and recognized her handwriting. The pages were yellow, worn, and told of her last vision before she went off to fight Simon. It had come true. She had died. Next she took the large white books and again recognized the handwriting also. Years of ramblings written by her mortal persona. Each one made sense and gave her back a tie to who she used to be. They had a different tone, from a different life that didn't completely fit into her view now. How could she embrace a life which was only a dream to her? These images were cast off from a fading mortality, but that part of her had also imprinted itself on her soul and there was no way of completely getting away from it. Maybe over time Jacquelyn would come to understand who she had been and the family she'd been close to as the mortal named Amara. Jacquelyn knew there was another hunter and she had been a target. She looked down at her arm and saw the faint line of a cut given to her by the blade as it came through her car window. She flipped to the latest entry in the white bound journals and saw the Tarot spread. There was still pending danger. She felt that too. The hunter who had locked onto them was not going away. This might be the reason why she had returned so quickly. Another thing bothered her. A presence lingered in her mind from last night. A message was imbedded in her brain, but she didn't know what it was. She grabbed the leather bound journal and leafed through it until an entry caught her eye. The threat to my children is always imminent. There will be human wars and plagues. Time will wear them away. The worst will be the war among themselves. One hunter will 246

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appear and bring down the strongest among my fledglings, trying to splinter his brothers' and sisters' wills. A new generation will be born as time moves forward. Many will remain human, remembering their past, thinking it was a dream, but the memories will be real. A few will regain what was lost among lifetimes of mortality and know the blood-hunger once again. Humanity will bend the world to its will and the knowledge of magick will dwindle to only whispers in shadows. For a time, all will be well among the mortals. My children will sleep, passing through eons unnoticed until mortals who are not truly mortal are born again. Hunters will emerge and shave off many before they come to the realization of what they once were and could be again. Magick will move through the air unbidden once again as more hear the callings of old. Be warned all those who tarry, the danger has only begun. Seekers of wisdom disguise themselves and only wish to wipe out those born again to gain power from beyond the grave. Purification of the soul, cursing the change that will come if the Old Ways return. Be warned all ye who hear my words. Some who have passed will not be forgotten and their past will blend with the present. My line will stay strong and where once a single night child walked, now two will share the path of darkness. But be— "You're awake. You should have been sleeping. You're body is still processing the change," Andrew said. "Crys said I was already halfway there and besides you had given me quite a lot before you brought me here. It 247

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didn't take that much to push me over the edge." Jacquelyn closed the book. She placed it back on the nightstand, thinking she would have to show Crimson. She had a vague notion of writing this, but she hadn't truly been the one writing it. She was channeling, letting a spirit come through her and give her the warning. Crimson must have known about the entry. Crimson knew that Jacquelyn was coming back. Andrew ran his hand down her back. Her body quivered at his touch and a small moan escaped her lips. He slid across the bed to her. He ran his tongue over the line of her neck and nipped her ear. She sighed and settled back into him. "But you always used to be up before me. I think it was one of the things driving me crazy. Now, it doesn't matter. All that matters is I have you." His arms drew her into him. His lips found the hollow on the side of her neck where her pulse beat strong. Teeth slipped into her flesh. The pinprick of pain surprised her. His lips fastened on her throat as he pulled in a few swallows. With each draw, her head grew light and her heart hiccupped until he stopped. Jacquelyn looked over at Andrew. Her blood enhanced his features and gave him a fresh look. For the first time, feelings she hadn't admitted to herself in ages, centuries, overwhelmed her. This was the man she had loved and he had died in her arms like her beloved child. True, he had done wicked things to her in the past, but those were echoes of a lifetime ago. "I don't want you to stop. I want to make up for the lost time." 248

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"I have no objection to that." God, you taste so good. Whoever you drank was wonderful. His hands trailed over her stomach and settled on her inner thigh. Her back arched when his lips worked on the other side of her neck sipping at her vein. Her mind started slipping away. Jacquelyn's fangs moved into her mouth and she brought his wrist to her lips. Her tongue traced the fine lines of blue-green rivers beneath his flesh. His skin held the tang of salt and sweat and an earthy taste all his own. With the tip of her fang, she sliced along a thin vein. Aggh. What are you doing to me? Her mouth locked on the wound and a shudder moved from him into her. Nothing, she teased innocently. His lips lifted from her throat before she could even get a mouthful. "This could go on for hours, love, and if you want to exchange blood I need to feed as well. I'm a few pints low myself," he breathed into her ear. Jacquelyn knew he was right. She let go and watched him climb off the bed and peeked out the curtain to get a sense of the weather. Instantly she knew he wished he hadn't because the sun blinded him, sending a stab of pain she felt through the bond they shared. "Andrew, can I ask you something?" "You can ask me anything, love." He pulled his pants on. Jacquelyn stared at his reflection. He was different than he was supposed to be, but not by much. Taller, thinner. A longer face, but more filled out. His essence hadn't changed and when she stared at herself, she 249

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saw that her body was not what she remembered. Her hair and eyes were a shade darker, she had bigger tits and a slimmer waist, but she didn't feel foreign in the flesh. "How are you dealing with all of this? The last time I saw you, you were dying in my arms. We had only begun to make up and understand each other. Now, you and I are here, like nothing has happened. How can you stand knowing the world has altered around you and you weren't part of it? That centuries have passed without you being part of them?" Andrew paused, seeing the confusion on her face. "Amara, we are the past and the present molded together. It's disorienting at first. Over time, I began to integrate my mortal lifetimes into my existing memories and I wouldn't be complete without them. My fingers can still move on a guitar and I can still call down the darkest storm. Think about your mortal family. Would you, as Amara, be complete without them? Would the experiences forming you this time around not be relevant in who you are now and who you were? You are Jacquelyn as much as you are Amara. They are both part of who you are this very moment." Jacquelyn thought about what Andrew had said. He was right. "No, I guess not. It's all so strange having you here and being called by another name. But you're right. The past is the past and it wouldn't be right for me to give it up. It's good that you call me by my true name. I'm so used to the other, but I am Amara now and not Jacquelyn. We are one and the same. No longer do I see the world through a mortal's eyes, but I see it renewed with the eyes of a hunter. Now we have an eternity to make up for the past." 250

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Andrew kissed her neck, licking the last drops of blood clinging to her flesh. The vampire repeated her name over and over again to get used to hearing it on her tongue. In doing so, she grew to understand and even like the person she had been reborn as. And as Andrew nipped on her throat playfully, she knew the future was going to be an interesting journey. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Three It had been snowing non-stop for two days and they were snowed in, at least in the human sense. It was hard for her to move through the deep snow but she managed to do so at a fast pace. Being at the house for two weeks, it was hard for her to fully accept she was in the New World and not back in England. Then again it was also hard for her to believe she was a real vampire and not merely a psychic one because her other personality was merging with her present one. Her psychic abilities were stronger. She sensed everyone in the house, four other vampires and ten humans, six of which were feeding stock Crimson said were fair game, but the servants were off limits. If she listened, she could read the humans' thoughts and touch the minds of the other vampires. Now she could summon fire out of thin air. A dozen candles had been her victims before she learned to narrow her focus and light even the smallest wick with a thought. Ghosts still haunted her and psychic predictions came with ease. She sensed Andrew wherever he was. Their bond was only stronger now since she had turned. At times, with a thought, his presence smothered her even if he was miles away. Instantly she could smell him, feel his heartbeat echo hers. Simon had stayed away from her. She wasn't even interested in him and was surprised to recall her human half had fucked him. The amount of blood he had fed her had worn away. He had been her past and she wanted it to stay that way. 252

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Trevor was still Trevor. Crimson tried to make her feel comfortable, but something was off she couldn't quite place and that bothered her. In the end, there were no secrets between them. The hunter was still out there. She had gotten two more calls from the detective. She hadn't shown Crimson the passage she'd found in her journal from the time she'd felt she'd been channeling another vampire, a much older one from a different time. It kept slipping her mind. To top it off, something hung over the manor. Amara didn't know why, but each time she tried to read her Tarot, she got the same reading. Nothing had changed; she was in a holding pattern. Something else bothered her. The night she had turned something or someone had been trying to contact her, but when she searched her mind, the answer didn't come. Back in the house, Amara sipped at her hot chocolate, watching the snow work its way down. She remembered the times Crimson and she talked about making her the next Record Keeper because the passing of the torch was long overdue. Crimson had even mentioned it now. There would be more responsibility and she wasn't ready for that. Maybe in the future, but now her hands ached to have a loom to weave on, a link to her past. Crimson had ordered her one when she asked if she needed anything. The thought of being Record Keeper drew her back to the diary entry. It spoke about two walking the path of darkness. Did she want all the responsibility? Did she instantly desire to be connected to all vampires on top of all she was dealing with already? She was adjusting to reawakening and having the powers of a thousand-year-old vampire in a fledgling's body. Amara 253

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assumed there was much more to it. The way Crimson described the Keeper's role was that every nine hundred years the latest Keeper would pass her knowledge on to the waiting apprentice, who would eat the predecessor's heart, taking in the power and knowledge of the line, tracing it back to the creation of all vampires. The Record Keeper remained neutral in most feuds, but when something dire needed to be handled, she took care of it. Like Crimson had done with Simon. Or what Amara assumed she had done with Simon. Without thinking, she made her way to the hall and found some throwing knives on the mantle. This would help ease some of her cabin fever and frustration. Whatever she was missing was really starting to bother her. The blades were new, not the crude ones from the past with carved handles, but molded with care and sharp enough to slice through even the toughest leather. Getting a grip, she found the balance and then began to aim at the table. It had always been the preferred target. The farther down the table the better. The first two missed all together, bouncing off the wood, and landed on the stone floor. The next was way off her mark, one actually landed in one of the chairs at the far end, but after she threw a few more times and picked them up twice more, it was coming back to her like Trevor with his axe. "Wow, now that's a sight. It's been years since you picked those up. Remember the times we used to go at it?" Amara turned to see Crimson leaning on the fireplace. "Yeah, and you always beat my ass. I doubt that things have changed much in that department." 254

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"Much has changed. More than you can ever know. I was alone for the first time in ages. There was Simon, of course, but you and I were more than friends in the end. Do you remember that?" Crimson crossed the room and stared into Amara's eyes. It made the new vampire uncomfortable and before she realized it, her friend had kissed her. Her lips were softer than Andrew's, but fuller. Fingers touched the underside of her jaw. Her tongue probed Amara's mouth. Her hands brushed against Crimson's breasts, feeling the other vampire's nipples harden through the cloth. She pulled back. Flashes from the past bombarded her, and she saw herself and Crimson romping in the hay and keeping each other company on their long nights together, but she didn't feel that way about her friend any longer. Something didn't set right about the memories. They seemed forced almost as if Crimson wanted her to believe them. "I'm sorry, but I can't be what you want me to be. I'm not even sure I remember that part of our relationship. Sorry, hon, in time, but—" Crimson smiled, but for the first time Amara questioned her friend's motives and actions. "It's all right. We have centuries, right? Now, how are you adjusting to all of this? I'm sure all the gaps will fill in." "I don't feel out of place anymore. I'm trying to think about the hunter who's after us. In the journal you gave me, there was a passage that mentioned the hunter. About magick reentering the world and at that point humans would be born but they wouldn't be completely human." "What else did it say?" 255

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Amara shrugged. "I'm not sure. Didn't you mention that you thought Kathryn might have found another warrior? That she might be the one behind the killings, trying to gain power through them?" "Yes. I'm not sure exactly what she is trying to accomplish, except maybe to be human. Who knows, maybe she wants to rule the world. She's insane. She wants Power. I've been searching the web and something is brewing. Magick has started to filter back into the human psyche. There are many who always hated the Old Ways. The only source of power she could have would be the ones like you. Most of the First Born are still hiding, or sleeping, or don't give a shit anymore. The Second Born hardly even know about me. Only the ones closest, like you, Andrew, and Trevor, the ones who were at the castle. Maybe Kathryn suspects that Simon is back and is trying to find him. I feel like a relic. There was such a community before. Don't you remember?" "Second Born? You mean ones like me?" asked Amara. "No—not exactly, more like Andrew and Trevor. You're unique. You weren't buried under lifetimes of mortality, sinking away into nothingness. You are more First Born, a link to both. You have the combined age of your soul, but soon the gap in your memory will no longer exist. You're the one to bring the new generation back to the fold. Andrew has his age now, plus the years he lived before, so you have outgrown your maker. Plus you have the powers you inherited from me. I was hoping you would join me on my lonely path. I'm not ready to die, but our community is growing again and I need someone to share the responsibilities with. What do you say?" 256

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"What about Kathryn? Isn't she a threat to us now?" "Forget Kathryn. You're turned. You don't have to worry about her or the hunters. Come on, what do you say?" Amara was about to answer when Crimson went still, listening to the environment, extending her aura around the manor to see who had invaded her territory. Amara followed suit, feeling the banging on the main door. The two vampires quickly went to the door. When Crimson opened it, the stranger was dressed all in black with red hair, cropped short, and skin that was pale, even for their kind. He was of Irish descent, but the vibration she got from him was old. Very old. Older than her and Crimson. His green eyes met hers and she was tempted to look away, but she stood her ground, blocking the door. He bared his fangs, uttering a low growl. The urge to fight rose in her, but Crimson put a hand on her shoulder and reluctantly she stepped aside. Her hair bristled when he came in and dusted off his cloak. Though she wasn't sure if it was him, or if it was his age, for some reason he felt like a threat to her. Her intuition sparked to life and signaled there was something about him rubbing her the wrong way. "Thank you for the hospitality," he muttered to Amara. "I could swear I've met you before. Maybe in another life." Her eyes narrowed. The stranger threw his cloak over the railing and walked in. Crimson and Amara followed behind the stranger to the library. The new vampire stared at everything slowly, taking it in. His eyes scanned the open book that Crimson had been writing in. His gaze met Crimson's and then Amara's. A cold shudder moved through her. What was he doing here? Finally, he sat by the fireplace. Crimson was 257

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busy trying to get the thing to start, but with one small push of her mind, Amara made the fire burst to life again. "Show off," Crimson smirked. "You know you love it." Amara took a seat by Andrew, who had come in also after hearing the knock at the door. "Seamus, we expected you earlier," said Crimson. "My thanks for the hospitality, Crimson. It's been a while since I've been among so many children." The ancient vampire warmed his hands. "So what has brought you out of your slumber? What has it been, five hundred years or so?" Crimson asked. The red haired vampire smiled. "Less than that. Only two hundred and I awoke over fifty years ago. I'm sorry I'm late. I was detained. I could not resist the lovely hospitality you offer. I do remember those wild parties. Besides, you are the Record Keeper and I assume you know Kathryn is back among us. I'm sure you've noticed the deaths of my brothers and sisters along with some of the other Elders." All the others looked at Crimson, who eyed the other vampire. "Seamus, you are so astute. Yes, I noticed Kathryn has returned. I even wrote it down. I can't find her or the ones she is using. I can only speculate as to what her purpose is. I'm sorry your brothers and sisters are dead, but maybe it's time to make way for the new generation." "With each kill Kathryn grows stronger. Do you know what kind of havoc she could wreak on our society? What do you think her reasoning is for—?" "Seamus, I think you've said enough. We can talk about it later." 258

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"As her highness wishes." He bowed. The vein in his temple throbbed. "Because you are one of the First Children does not mean you can come lording in here and start controlling my house and make us shiver in our boots. Now stop scaring the little ones and let's talk about happy memories." "Forgive me. That is not my intention. It's been a long time and I'm used to getting my way. Especially with my children." His eyes flickered toward Andrew and he met his stare. Trevor walked in with Simon right behind him. The tension swelled and pressed on Amara's aura. The room lurched forward. Andrew's mind moved against hers, concerned, but it was too much. Seamus was using his mind to try and put pressure on Crimson, but her friend was resisting. Trevor and Simon were monitoring the situation. Andrew was only worried about her. She ran out of the library and back to her room overwhelmed. Amara closed the door behind her trying to clear her head. Her thoughts mulled over Seamus's arrival. She had never met the Ancient before. His mind was frying her circuits. She sighed, frustrated, and took a moment to examine Crimson. There her intuition was also sending off signals of ill will, but she could understand her friend was also not too happy about the intrusion into her life. Something felt wrong about the whole scenario. Hadn't she been expecting him? Wasn't he the guest who had been "delayed" weeks earlier? Before his arrival, when Crimson had tried to kiss her. The woman she remembered would never have tried to do that. 259

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Raking a hand through her hair, Amara stood in the center of her room trying to make sense of it all. There was no making sense of it. Her new existence was crazy at times. Old memories merged with the new, and she was more of her old reincarnated self than she was the new one. That insight was what she pulled on now. This lifetime gave her a better understanding of her psychic abilities. She could call upon spirits to search their realm for answers which might not have been available to her in the past. She could divine the future. Her last lifetime gave her power and patience. Training her eyes on the mirror, she unfocused them so the mirror clouded over. The energy pulsating from the metal almost pushed her back. Within the mirror, she saw the astral world play out before her. It was a way for her to look within the other realm without having to go into a trance when she didn't feel it was safe to be completely unaware of her body. Within her mind, she searched for the instant when she had hung in between life and death, where she had felt another presence hovering close to her. She found that moment, latched onto the feeling and projected it forward. The mirror cleared. A figure came into view. It wore an old-fashioned dress and had hair that fell down almost to its feet. Amara knew this shade. It bore the face of her friend. How could she be in the astral realm and downstairs? I'm not a hallucination. Then what are you? Amara asked the spirit. I'm the friend you went to fight Si with. The one who was there when Andrew turned you the first time. I threw you across the room because you hated the necklace I had made 260

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for you. You said it was the wrong color green. I was so pissed. How can you be downstairs and dead all at the same time? That's your body down there. Your memories walking around. Why should I believe a ghost that could be jerking my chain? Because how else would I know that you never made a deal with Simon about killing me? That was a lie to try and confuse you. The journal entry you made, faked. Simon's line about you two in the past—fake. All for them to make you believe, to pull the wool over the eyes of the community. How would I know that the only time you let me dye your hair was when we were sitting in almost the same room hundreds of years ago and you hated me because I ended up dying your hair blue and not black? Amara recalled the memory of her and Crimson doing exactly what the ghost had said. The other Crimson hadn't mentioned anything about it and it was always a topic of conversation when Amara was in a bad mood. Crimson would throw it in her face. And come to think of it, Crimson hadn't offered her any hearts from victims, which was also unusual. That was another thing her friend would do to get her going, because she never wanted to kill in the past. Also, the vampire that she knew would have been pissed if she had slept with the man she loved. There was no way that she would have brushed it to the side. Okay, say that I believe you. What are you doing here? How did you die and who's downstairs? The Crimson in the mirror shrugged. Who do you think? Who wants to destroy all vampires? 261

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Kathryn. Yes. But how? How is not important right now. You have to be careful, all of you do. Watch out— Amara quickly looked behind her. A hooded figure swung a large sword at her head. She ducked and the sword connected with the metal and bent the mirror. Amara ran to the door. It was locked. How come she hadn't sensed the intruder? Someone had to be blocking her. Simon, Crimson or Seamus. Who? Andrew, she screamed. The link between them vibrated, but it wasn't reaching him. She couldn't get a lock on him. The hunter leaped across the space and slashed his blade, catching Amara's leg and cutting a large gash in her calf. She landed on the bed. The wound stung and she barely felt her leg since the blade had sliced muscle and possibly nicked bone. Blood bloomed on her jeans and ran into her sneakers. She slipped on the floor. The hunter's hood fell back and what she saw nearly stopped her heart. It was Josh. But she had felt him die. "Josh?" He looked at her blankly, the sword pointed at her throat. The tip dug into the hollow of her neck. Amara swallowed back her fear and concentrated on the link that they had, even though she thought it was gone. She pushed along the thread and popped into his mind. Darkness consumed her. Clouds of hate and scattered images swam inside her 262

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thoughts. The shadows were eating away at the person she knew and tried to take hold inside of her, but Amara kept pushing them aside. Nightmarish creatures invaded her brain, and inside the darkness was a vacuum. The thing that had taken over was sucking up everything in its wake. She got glimpses of others that had died at his hand and felt their power rush into the dark when he killed the others. Buried underneath all the madness was the friend she thought she had lost. The banging on the door made her aware that Andrew was trying to be her knight in shining armor. She focused back on Josh. "Josh. It's Mar. Come on. You know who I am." The tip of the sword wavered and she felt the haze dissipating, recognition returning to her friend. "Mar, what am I doing here?" The lock broke and the door split. Josh jumped and the tip of the sword splintered her throat. Amara gazed behind him. Andrew rushed in with Seamus, who brandished a sword. Without a thought, the ancient vampire plunged it through Josh's chest, piercing his heart. The look of shock that crossed his face washed away the remaining darkness. Amara felt the stab as if it were her own heart breaking. The cold chill of death settled on her and their link was severed permanently. His skin melted around him and he tumbled to the ground as ash. Amara had never seen that happen with one of their kind before. The sword fell away and Andrew had her in his arms. She didn't see or feel him. She'd gotten through to Josh, had broken whatever grasped his mind. If 263

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he'd lived, then she could have sorted through the shadows and discovered more about Kathryn. Moving out of Andrew's embrace, she ran at Seamus and grabbed his throat with hardened nails. "You killed him! He killed Josh. Bastard!" Andrew pulled her off and held her around the waist while Seamus rubbed his neck. Crimson and the other vampires finally made an appearance. They looked at the sight and then back at Amara. "What happened?" Trevor asked. "It was Josh. Seamus killed him. Right when I was about to get through to him." "But you said Josh was dead. How?" Crimson asked. "No thanks needed, Amara. Andrew, we must finish our discussion." Seamus eyed her lover. Amara saw Andrew nod. Seamus wandered out, leaving her wondering. She looked up and saw Crimson staring at the pile of ashes and then at her. Amara remembered the spirit of Crimson in the mirror. Could that have been Kathryn? Or was the ghost of her friend real? Which would mean Kathryn was standing inches from her in Crimson's body, with her memories ... and her powers. Amara steadied herself. "Crys, I thought you said the hunters didn't know where you were? Josh almost killed me. How did he find us?" The other vampire shrugged. "How should I know? He probably followed the link you had. A stronger vamp must have masked it and made you think he was dead. I told you Kathryn must have influenced him. It's a shame Seamus 264

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killed him. I'm so sorry, love. Spend the day with Andrew. I'll have someone clean this up." Andrew helped Amara up. Her pain of Josh's death was still too raw. She swallowed back tears. How could Crimson be so heartless? Josh deserved a proper burial, not to be tossed away like garbage. "Amara, you'll be okay," said Andrew. She smiled at him half-heartedly. Her leg had barely healed and she had lost a lot of blood. She couldn't walk so Andrew picked her up. She knew he didn't mind. If there was any excuse to be near her, he found it. "Crys, shouldn't we bury Josh? He was my friend and Tre's. I don't want to see him scattered to the wind." "But he's nothing more than dust. Besides, whoever sent him might be watching, and we don't want to alert them." Crimson began to walk away. "About the attacks, I wonder if Simon might be behind this. He's strong enough and—well—he was insane. I don't mean—" Crimson's eyes narrowed. Amara felt a surge of shock and tension pass through her. Crimson didn't know that she felt it. Her friend was hiding something, if she really was her friend. "Amara, I don't mind Simon fucking you. But I don't appreciate you making accusations about him. Remember you are here on my whim. Seamus killed your friend. I assume he's behind it. That's what I was coming to talk to you about. Seamus has desecrated our kind in the past. Don't believe him or any of his children. Lying and treachery are passed down in their bloodline. After all, he was the one who killed 265

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the Mother of us all. Now rest and I'll forget the slip about Si. I know you've been hurt and lost a lot of blood. So, good day and make sure Andrew takes care of you." Andrew smiled. "Oh trust me, I will." He gave her a quick kiss and nuzzled into her while he carried her down the hall to his room. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Four Andrew tried consoling Amara after she fed on him. Nothing he did helped. She had lost one of her friends all over again. It wasn't the main thing bothering her. Crimson concerned her. Someone should have heard her scream. Andrew should have sensed the commotion and her fear more quickly. Even Crimson should have sensed the disturbance because it was her house. After she had sought refuge from Simon in the old days after Magdalena was killed, Crimson had felt the break in the barrier around her flat miles away. It was days later she had brought it up when Andrew and she had returned to the castle. "Amara, what is it?" Andrew asked. Amara glanced over at her lover. Could she trust him? She shouldn't have even been thinking that way, but with the recent events she wasn't sure who she should trust. Her whole life had been turned upside down and now it was turning all over again. She felt like the Wheel of Fortune in her Tarot deck. She didn't know what the universe was going to hand her next or where the wheel would stop. Drawing in a breath, she focused on her feelings and they told her Andrew also was hiding something. Why hadn't she gotten that before? "Why don't you trust me? I can sense it in you. After all of this, why, Jacquelyn? I'm not hiding anything from you. You know that." "Yes, you are, love." 267

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Amara turned from the bed and saw him bent over the desk, hands clenched. Her leg still wasn't healed enough to walk. Her body had started to mend it, but she needed sleep and blood to be left without a scar. Re-examining their link, she sighed. Her head was playing tricks on her. She had to listen to her heart and her instincts told her he would never keep secrets from her now that she had shared her soul with him. If he was going to impart something to her, it would be on his own terms. There had been events in her past that she had never shared with him, all because it would hurt him more than it could help their relationship. Mentally she moved her hands around his waist and kissed the side of his neck, breathing into his ear. Shivers rippled his aura and body. I trust you, love. The others I'm not so sure about. I called for you and you didn't hear me because someone wouldn't let you. Even though I was blocked, Crimson should have sensed it. But she came later. You know that was never like her. She was always in the fray when there was danger in her house. The first to take up arms. How did you know I was in danger? Andrew turned. He knelt beside the bed and put his head on her lap. Her hands wove through his hair and she loved the way it played between her fingers. Finally, he looked up. "I didn't sense the danger when I should have. And what you said about Crimson. She would have been the first to jump in, but downstairs she waited a heartbeat after Seamus alerted me to the danger. A heartbeat too long could have been your life. You're right to say something blocked me. I couldn't get to you. I was helpless and for the first time since Simon stood over me with his sword, I was afraid I would lose 268

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you again. I don't know if I could handle it." Andrew stared up at her. The love that she saw reflected there broke her heart. She didn't know what to say. Her arms ached to hold and comfort him. The feelings from her past washed over her and the hate that lived within her for centuries fell away. She couldn't hate this man any longer. That ember had burned out. They had a fresh start and she was grateful for that. "I don't want to lose you either. I almost had Josh back until Seamus killed him. Andrew, I don't know if we can trust him or Crys. I want to say that we can, but from what Crimson said about how he killed the first vampire—our true mother—I don't think we can. He was the one who could have been blocking me from you so he could come in and play the hero. He might have known about Josh." "Amara, it's not Seamus. He's not the threat to us." "How do you know that?" Andrew got up and sat on the bed. He sighed emphatically, took her hands, and held onto them. There was a look of fear on his face similar to the one she had seen when she was on the floor with Josh. "Love, what it is?" "Mara," he paused and searched her eyes. Whatever he had been hiding he was about to tell her. So much for her not thinking he was going to be honest with her. "Seamus is the one who turned me. He sent me here to look after Crimson. To see if what he thought was true. Crys has no idea he is my maker and she should. She should know all the bloodlines, but she doesn't. I dropped hints here and there to see if she would blurt it out, but nothing. The reason she knew about you returning was Trevor. Seamus has been 269

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searching for her for half a century. He sent me to Crys after we got a lock on her. She was surprised to see me, but she welcomed me into the house like old times. I knew that something wasn't right about her. I didn't see Simon. I played along and she bought that I was back from the past. She surmised if I were back, then you would be coming back also because we were tied together. I could only hope. "Then Trevor showed up and threw her for a loop. She didn't know him. I was shocked to see him at first. It was through him she got a lock on you and the others. I told Seamus. We both agreed she would go after you next. You were her last link to the past. If she could either kill you or turn you, then she would have control over you. I was supposed to go to Lydia's house first, but Seamus directed me to the graveyard. It was wonderful when I saw you. You were alive. All my past visions were true. We wanted to keep you safe. Seamus seems to think you are an important link in the chain of unfolding events. For some reason, Crimson wants you dead. We wanted to get to Crys first, take her or the hunter out. Then I was going to come to find you in North Carolina. I wanted to woo you. Not get back together the way we did." Amara took in what he said. It made more sense now that Crimson had had no idea she was coming, or that Andrew was even looking for her. Trevor must have told Crimson about her. Why had her room been set up? She must have anticipated the arrival sooner or later. Crimson most likely wanted to try and turn Amara. That was why Simon wanted to drive her and Andrew apart. If they could control her, then 270

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they would have gotten her power. She sighed. The old Crimson would never have done that. The ghost Crimson in the mirror was right. The vampire walking around was the spirit of Kathryn inhabiting Crimson's old body. It would account for the strange behavior and why she hadn't reacted immediately when Amara had been attacked. "Seamus is the one who brought you over. He could have blocked you from me. Andrew, none of this makes any sense. Why am I the target of all of this?" Should she tell him about the apparition she had seen in the mirror? Her gut told her yes, but not now. The walls had ears and eyes. The whole place did. Amara felt more unsafe here than she had when the hunter had jumped onto her car. "He wouldn't do anything to keep me from you. He has encouraged me to be with you, to seek you out. I'm not entirely sure why Crys has changed so much and targeted you. Maybe because you went with her to kill Simon. Maybe because his insanity got to her?" "Maybe. Like you never used to invade my mind and take control of me? Please." "That was a long time ago," Andrew replied. "That was only a few days ago and you nearly killed me. Look, I don't know Seamus. I don't know if I can trust him. But—" "But why don't you tell us the truth? There are more pieces to the puzzle you're not filling in. I think now is a good time for all of us to lay our cards out." Both vampires spun around when they realized someone else was in the room. Amara growled, but Andrew shot her a 271

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look. The shadows of the room converged into the shape of a man. Amara watched in awe. She had never seen anything like it among their kind before. This was the stuff of fiction, even to her. "Don't give me that tone of voice, child." Seamus eyed Andrew. "I see there are things you neglected to tell me. We can discuss that later." "Yeah." Andrew looked away and muttered. "Okay, stop all this bullshit. How do you know I'm keeping things from you? Will someone please tell me what's going on? You speared one of my friends. Now why am I in danger? I see a ghost of Crys, who is supposed to be downstairs, in my mirror, but in reality that's Kathryn inhabiting her body. Here I was thinking I was making things easier by reclaiming what I once was and leaving my whole life behind. I thought things were confusing before I ever got roped into this, but I sure was wrong." "Amara, I understand your confusion and reluctance, but if you'll listen for a moment. I will tell you what is going on. We can't talk here. Both of you take hold of me." Amara was about to protest when Andrew scooped her up and then took hold of Seamus' shoulder. In an instant the shadows in the room wrapped around them and she was in a vacuum. The air was sucked from her lungs and the pressure on her body made her pass out. When she opened her eyes they were in a dark room. She looked around and saw Seamus putting wood in the fireplace. He backed away and then focused on the wood. With a wave of his hand the logs sparked to life and flames shot out of the hearth. 272

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"So that's where that came from," Amara mumbled. The males looked over at her, surprised she was awake. She stood and found that she could barely support her weight on her left leg. It was taking her body too long to heal. If any threat came after them, she was in no shape to face it. At the moment she wasn't too keen on going back to the manor. It was actually safer here with the ancient vampire who had killed one of her friends. "The fire ability is rare. My maker had it, and it only passes down through my line. Andrew it skipped all together, even before." "But I thought Andrew was a hit and run last time. An insane vampire came upon him while he was out hunting in the woods." "I wasn't insane, but badly injured. I needed to feed. He was the first thing that I sensed. He was warm and alive. I became aware of his creation after I fully regenerated. I searched for him for centuries, but I only found Andrew right before he was killed. Our bond never truly formed in the past and he had enough of my blood to turn. It was my fault that Andrew lost his wife and family in the past. I was deeply sorry for that. When he awoke in this century, I knew it and I searched for him to make up for the past. I was not so sure about you though. I only hoped. It wasn't until I sensed Trevor that I got a secure lock on you. That was two years ago." Seamus paused and stared into the flames. "My first concern was getting to Kathryn and then I was going to send Andrew to you. I thought I had more time and that you might want a familiar face to bring you over. Then Trevor appeared 273

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on Kathryn's doorstep. It was only a matter of time before she locked onto you. Besides me, you were the last piece she needed to complete her mission." "Yes. I am the bridge between old and new because I didn't live any human lifetimes in between," she said sarcastically. "I get it, but that doesn't make me special." "Actually, it does. That is only one reason why Kathryn and Simon want to control you." Amara and Andrew stared into the corner where another had appeared. "Who are you?" Andrew asked. "I'm surprised that you don't remember me, Andrew. We used to be good friends in the past." The stranger turned and it took a moment for his features to register. They were androgynous at first. She studied the stranger and his name came to her. He was the only gay vampire that she had ever known. "Valan." Amara forgot her troubles. A smile appeared on her old friend's face. It only stayed a moment and his features melted back into stone. He stayed in the corner and bowed his head slightly. "Jacquelyn, it's good that you have returned to your former self." Valan nodded at Andrew, who had relaxed. The one thing troubling her was the more Amara stared at her old friend, the more she realized his features mirrored Simon's. The same long hair, the same features, only slightly different. He had no mustache and his eyes were blue, not tinged purple. With one quick look he could have been Simon's twin. It was eerie and brought back all of the disturbing things that Simon had done to her. 274

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"Valan. Please sit and make yourself comfortable. There is much to discuss now that all of my children are together," Seamus instructed. The other vampire shook his head. "The shadows are preferable and the female is injured." "The female?" Amara couldn't help the sarcastic tone in her voice. "Both of you, enough. Valan has been an integral part in helping me locate Crimson. I sent him to her to be one of her hunters. He gained her trust and reports back to me when he can." "You mean Kathryn," Valan murmured. "Yes," Seamus sighed. "So you were actually killing for her?" Andrew asked. "No. I never killed anyone. All those that Kathryn thought dead by my hand are still alive, either sleeping or in hiding. She is not connected to the web the way the true Record Keeper would be, so she has no idea they still live," said Valan. "Valan was a mole. He pretended to kill the other vampires, but he never did. Okay, that's fine, but what else have you not been telling us?" Amara asked. Seamus looked at the floor. "I have been searching for Kathryn and Simon for decades. I had planned to dispose of her before you came into the equation, Amara. Kathryn has been posing as Crimson in hopes that she could find you, gain your trust, and then your power. You were safe until Trevor turned and found Kathryn. She got a lock on you through him. I believe that she made you feel Trevor was dying or 275

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that he was in danger, like she did with Josh. Kathryn had to do something to get your attention so you would come home. Once you got the message from Lydia, then you were bound to come here. Kathryn sent Josh to Lydia's house to wait for you. She wanted to kill you. By doing that she would be one step closer to getting what she wanted." "Then who attacked me at the graveyard?" "I did." Valan stepped closer to the fire. "What?" Amara gasped. "You almost killed her and me!" Andrew growled and Amara saw his fangs in the firelight. His muscles tensed, and he was ready to spring when Seamus stared at him long and hard. Amara felt the strength of the command through her link with him. Seamus invaded his mind and froze him in his tracks. She even found it hard to breathe because of the power of the ancient vampire. "Children, children. Enough. Let's start from the beginning." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Five Seamus sighed. "A century ago, the Record Keeper died. All the Elders, the First Five the Mother created, came together and mourned. We had always known about the Keeper, the sixth child our Mother chose to carry on that legacy. There was a failsafe. If the Keeper died and there was no apprentice, the power reverted to the Original Children. A part to each of the five until they could chose a new Keeper. For nine centuries that Keeper carried on the legacy and community of our race. When her time came, the apprentice would eat the heart of the predecessor and so on, until Crimson. When she died, there was a break in that connection. We felt her die along with her apprentice. We knew she was bending the rules by giving Amara a portion of her power and extending her life, we had no qualms so long as the legacy prevailed, so we never interfered. Then you both died. "Fifty years ago my brothers and sisters started to die. With the first death, I awoke from my slumber. I felt the stab as Shara's heart was cut out. Upon waking, I knew something was wrong. By the second death I had inherited the gift of prophecy and saw Crimson killing my family, trying to gain the power of the Record Keeper. We had all felt her die so this seemed rather odd. Then I had a vision, and the killer that I saw was not Crimson, but Kathryn. The Elders knew how she had manipulated Simon and used him as a vessel of power to try to become human again. When Simon killed her 277

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we assumed the threat was over. But Simon kept on killing. Somehow Kathryn was able to slip into Crimson's body at the moment of her death. Now Kathryn has killed all the First Five except myself to gain the powers of the Record Keeper, and that is why all their power has passed down to me. She must have realized when she took over Crimson's body the powers didn't go with it. They died with Crimson and you, Amara. For years I've been the only one left, with all of the abilities as Record Keeper, but then there was you. "You were an unknown variable. No one knew if your soul would reincarnate. Would it be buried under lifetimes of humanity? You might have lost all the powers that you had from before. But your soul has not changed and you still have the abilities that you acquired from Crimson. You were destined to be the next Keeper." Amara stared at the older vampire. "So it is true. The spirit told me the truth. Damn. I thought it was a ghost fucking with me, but it really was Crys in my mirror. She said she had to warn me. She was trying to tell me about Kathryn." Now it was Seamus' turn to be surprised. "I did not realize you could contact the dead. If I had known that, I might have come for you sooner. I might have even turned you without sending Andrew. Yes, it must have been Crimson's spirit you saw in the mirror. How did you know to call her?" "I didn't. When Andrew—" Amara blushed. "When I was turning, on the lip of death, something was with me, trying to warn me, but I couldn't lock onto it." Amara closed her eyes and something else dawned on her. Something she had to pull up from the recesses of her memory. It had to do with 278

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the day Simon had killed her. Now it was clear. "When I died as Jacquelyn, the first time around when Simon broke my back, Crimson was there with me in spirit form, which means she was already dead. I didn't see it before. I just remembered. If I had known that sooner, it might have explained a hell of a lot." Amara stared at the crackling fire and the three other vampires in the room. Dread filled her. She tried to remember more from the time when her spirit floated in the abyss before it reincarnated, but those memories were nothing compared to the ones from her past. Fleeting glimpses that she remembered. She realized Crimson had been there with her. Kathryn wanted a way back into life. Kathryn had been telling the truth while inhabiting Crimson's body. She had reached through the veil of death and had spoken to Simon. She desired a way back into life, and the only way for her to do that was by getting a viable body. That was why Simon kept killing in the past. That was why he stole Andrew from her. Kathryn had been a spiritual vampire in death, sucking the life out of Simon. By gaining power that way, Kathryn was still able to hang around until she found her chance to steal a body. It was possible. Amara had been a psychic vampire for years, living off energy to stabilize her body's metabolism. Why couldn't a ghost latch onto a living being and do the same thing? Seamus finally spoke. "Kathryn despised death. Hated it worse than being a vampire and used Simon to come back. She knew Crimson was the Record Keeper and that you were next in line. So she wanted you instead. With each one of my 279

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Brothers and Sisters she killed, she gained their powers by eating their hearts. Now the only two that stand in her way are you and I. Amara, you are special because you possess the knowledge of death and the power from before. No other vampire has crossed the threshold of death as you have. Kathryn wants that knowledge as well as whatever powers you acquired from Crimson. If that happens, then she will try and rule the world." Amara nodded. "She's power hungry all right. She went off on a tangent about wanting to rule the world. It makes sense. She offered to turn me. Good thing I didn't go that route. So where does Valan nearly killing me in the cemetery come into play?" "Seamus had a vision of you dying by Josh's hand. Lydia was supposed to detain you long enough for Josh to kill you," Valan whispered checking his nails against the fire light. "Wait a minute! No way was Lydia in on all of this. She had a child. She wasn't a vampire. I would at least have known that." Seamus sighed. "Kathryn influenced her. I sent Andrew there to try to find Josh, but he sensed you." "Kathryn instructed me to follow Andrew and kill him. She wanted him out of the way in case you showed up, Jacquelyn. It's easier to kill a human than a vampire." Valan moved back into the shadows. "However, our Master told me to find you. If I did that, I would also find my brother." Amara nodded, then asked Andrew. "But how did you know I was going to be at the cemetery?" 280

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"Trevor and I had been talking about how he grew up. Through him I got a sense of you. He mentioned the cemetery that you used to haunt. Once I got close to finding Josh, I felt you. I followed my soul and it led me there." Andrew turned to Seamus. "Why not tell us this? Why have Valan go through the whole charade of trying to kill us?" "I needed a believable story when I went to Kathryn. She had to believe I had tried to kill you. What would she say if you and I walked into the manor at the same time? When I found Jacquelyn, I knew you were hiding in the woods. It fit in perfectly with my plan. I wasn't going to kill you, but—" Valan shrugged his shoulders and let the sentence trail off. "It was a risky plan, but one that I knew would work. Andrew would save you, Amara, because he always did. It's in his makeup to do so. Andrew brought you back to Kathryn and you surprised her because you were supposed to be dead," Seamus explained. Amara listened. "Well, it sounds like a great plan. It's working, so far. How do we take care of Kathryn and Simon? And how does she seem to remember the past when she can't really have access to Crimson's memories?" "She learned all she could about you through Trevor. Kathryn had to play the role of the Record Keeper in case anyone came calling, like Valan or Andrew. She had to pretend to be the real Crimson to keep you all fooled. What she said about the castle burning was true. Villagers came and burned it to the ground when she was in the middle of moving everything out. It was Simon's idea to have her keep 281

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up appearances. Some of Crimson's memories did stick in Kathryn's brain so she had an idea of some things. "Simon tried to seduce you to separate you and Andrew. Nothing could do that though. Andrew marked your soul ages ago even before your last lifetime. You and he are soul mates. That's why he was drawn to you when you were a human child in your last lifetime. He simply didn't understand the bond you shared then," Seamus explained. Amara noticed how he waved his palm near the fire and came away with a small flame dancing above his palm. He worked it between his fingers. Its small light lit the red in his hair. After a moment the Ancient vampire squashed it between his fingers and looked at Amara. She met his gaze and did not look away this time. Seamus did not have to tell her that Andrew and she were soul mates. The energy in the room grew heavy and Amara felt something pressing on the back of her mind. She thought it was Crimson's ghost at first, but the energy behind it was more powerful than Seamus. This was older than him. She struggled against the presence, but it was insistent. It pressed on her brain forcing her into a trance. Amara slipped into another state of consciousness, letting her mind expand to meet the hovering ghost. Heat poured over her, more than she had ever felt when she channeled and spoke with phantoms. The energy expanded her aura until it bordered on the other vampires. A female spirit moved into her being and she could barely breathe. The soul sent a current of love. Her soul recognized her and Amara realized this was the Mother of all vampires. The first among their kind. 282

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Why was she hanging on the edge of her consciousness? If she had wanted to interfere with the affairs of her children, why not do it before and stop Kathryn returning from the grave? Because it was not my time to warn my children. Not in the way that you are thinking of. Remember I did warn them, but even I did not foresee what Kathryn would do. It's forbidden to cross the threshold of the grave and steal a body. We must do it the natural way. I didn't know the exact nature of the plight that would fracture the race that I created. Crimson was so concerned about saving you she didn't sense the danger. She was so lost in the sorrow of killing the one she loved she was not herself. May I share your body? We touched before when your soul moved past mine in the other realm. You've shared my essence in the past. You know you can trust me. "Seamus," Amara whispered. Her voice held an echo to it, an undertone of a male and a higher female voice. The elder vampire stared at her. The look of shock on his face was apparent. "Mother?" Seamus fell to his knees in front of her. Amara saw out of her eyes, but she was unable to move her body. The spirit had total control, but she was not afraid. "Yes. You have called me in the past and now I am able to answer. My children are warring. The prophecies I once wrote are coming true. The magick of the world is opening back up, and we are prospering once again while learning through human lives. This vessel is important, but so is her mate." 283

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"Amara," Andrew whispered. He stepped close to touch her. With a wave of her hand, Andrew was held in place. The energy that passed through Amara was the biggest electric shock she had felt since the spirit had taken control. Amara wanted to race to him, but the spirit in her body made that impossible. I haven't hurt him. I only have a short time that I may speak. She will have no ill effects. I promise. Amara backed away and found that she was outside of her body. She dared not look at herself, so she moved the short distance across to Andrew and stood behind him. Her invisible hands touched the side of his neck. He jerked backward and looked at her, but he could not see her since she was nothing more than a ghost. Valan stayed in the shadows observing. Amara sensed his fear. Hush. It's all right, she whispered in Andrew's mind. A current of love moved between them. She planted a kiss on his neck, feeling the energy of his aura vibrate against her lips. For show, she nipped him and purred in his mind. This was how Kathryn must have been with Simon, a ghost feeding off the living to stay alive. "Your beloved is not hurt, Andrew. We have an understanding. In centuries past, others have been reborn as vampires after human lifetimes. You are not the first. This is the new generation, and they do not know the Record Keeper. My children know nothing of their ancient heritage. The Keeper is a myth for vampirelings to keep them warm in their daylight slumber. You and she have been chosen. Where 284

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one night child walked before, two shall share the path of darkness. Bending the rules can go both ways." "Mistress, what do you want of me? I am the last of your children. I have—" "Seamus, my time is short. I am going to be reborn. It's my time to live as a human, something I have never done. I have been my children's guardian for ages." The spirit in Amara bit into her wrist and brought it to Seamus's lips. His eyes closed when the blood passed onto his tongue and he swallowed. Andrew and Valan were also kneeling before her, each taking turns drinking. Suddenly Amara was back in her body, experiencing the full power of the being that inhabited her. She almost fainted but rode the wave. When Andrew's lips locked to the wound, she aware of how he felt. His body was electrified. His senses were ultraheightened. Valan sipped only a swallow and then the shadows had him, concealing him, but Amara didn't feel his presence any more in the small cabin. "Bathed in blood. You and this vessel are chosen to carry on my line. When the time comes, you will take the heart of your master, imbibing the knowledge and power. Love her, Andrew. She wants nothing more than that." "I know," he whispered. There were tears in his sea-gray eyes. "Farewell." The presence in Amara relinquished control to her. Full awareness came back to Amara. She felt stronger. Her leg was healed, her energy restored.... and something else. A log rolled out of the fire and she jumped. On instinct 285

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she lashed out with her mind, sending a bolt of energy at it and it moved a little. "Cool." Andrew's arms came around her. "I was worried." His lips found the curve of her throat and he nipped at her gently. The feel of his fangs pressed against her flesh and she held in a moan. The coolness of her skin and her body came back to her as the spirit passed away into the astral realm once again. "I know, but I was fine. She didn't want to hurt me. Besides we had met before in the past. I had channeled her. The last entry in my journal told about this. I wasn't sure until recently that I had gotten any powers from Crimson." Seamus stared into the flames. He seemed lost in his own thoughts, lost in the moment of what had happened. Amara understood how lonely he felt. He was the last of the original vampires and his time was limited. After ages he had spoken to the one who made him. He had tried for centuries to contact her, but nothing until now. The pain and joy from the moment was pregnant in the air and Amara felt it all. She moved from Andrew's grasp and was about to touch Seamus to help ease his pain when Seamus seized up. Amara lost her breath and felt the sudden stab through her own heart. "Trevor." Seamus met her eyes. "Come on." Andrew got up and without hesitation Amara took hold of the Elder vampire and in a whoosh the shadows enclosed them. As the power moved through him, Amara realized that one day she would have this gift, too, because it came with 286

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the office. The house was quiet when they emerged in the dining room. Not even the heartbeats of the servants were present downstairs. Andrew looked over at Amara. She didn't like it. "Where is everyone?" "I think Kathryn might have realized something was amiss. There would be no reason for me to come here. My dinner request surprised her, especially when I didn't show up. I am the last, so why would the chicken go willingly into the fox den unless the chicken has a plan of its own. I'll check upstairs." Seamus ran up the steps two at a time. Both vampires nodded. Andrew took the kitchen. Amara headed toward the library. Walking past the table, she noticed drops of blood on the rug. She ran the rest of the way. The sofa was turned over and the lamp broken on the floor. One chair was on its side and the table that Trevor had commissioned for her ages ago was smashed and covered in blood. She walked over slowly and saw a limp form by the fireplace. She dropped to her knees and saw cuts all over Trevor's face and hands, as if the table had broken his fall. His leg was twisted at an unnatural angle. He had put up quite a fight. He had been a warrior in his past life. He never would have suspected that Crimson would turn on him because they were friends. His head slumped forward. Dark hair covered the face that she had known for years. She noticed the wound on his throat and the large chunk torn out of it. He'd lost a lot of blood. Most of it was on the floor and down the front of his shirt. She moved the hair out of his face. 287

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"I'm sorry." At her touch, he opened his eyes briefly and moaned. "Mar." "What happened?" "Crys and Simon turned on me. Leave me. Get out while you can. They're looking for you. Simon is coming," he choked. "Too late," Simon chimed in. "I'm already here. It was naughty of you to run away, Jacquelyn. Crys was planning a surprise party and you ruined it." Amara got up slowly, searching for anything that would make a good weapon. She was not going to end up like last time. Reincarnation was not something she wanted to relive again. "Well, I've never been much of a party person." She edged slowly toward the door. Simon's smile widened. He moved right along with her and blocked her exit. He stepped closer and she moved back until her back was against one of the bookshelves. Inches from her, she smelled the taint that was upon him. Insanity speckled his eyes. His palms trapped her against the bookshelves. Fear and excitement made him hard. His dick pressed against her thigh through his pants. His tongue traced along her lips and his eyes glistened. Amara smiled against him, moved her hand down over his chest slowly, and caressed his length. "You know. I was a bitch before. Why don't we go at it again? For old times' sake," she whispered in his ear. Her tongue flicked across his jugular and she allowed her fangs to nip the side of his throat, careful not to draw blood. He 288

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shuddered at the pain and purred from the contact. His mouth stretched wider when he came in to kiss her. Centimeters from meeting his lips, Amara brought her knee up and slammed it into his crotch. Simon dropped before her and she wasted no time in moving past him, racing into the dining room, searching for anything that she could use for a weapon. "Bitch, where the hell are you? There's no place to hide. I will find you." Her eyes settled on the throwing knives. She grabbed them, cutting her palm open. "Mmm, that smells good." Simon was behind her and grabbed her wrists. The knives tumbled from her hand, save one, which she clutched. Her captor spun her around and took her wounded hand. He brought it to his face and then licked the wound clean. The blood made her hand slippery. Amara was able to free her wrist and plunged the knife into his eye. Simon released her and screamed. While he was distracted, she grabbed one of the axes from above the fireplace and nearly dropped it. With a big heave she brought it down through Simon's neck. His head plopped to the floor and rolled. His body folded on itself and Amara fell to the floor, crying and blood stained. Her eyes stayed glued to the body. It disintegrated into ash the way that Josh's had done. Andrew's had never done that in the past. Maybe Kathryn's influence had tainted them. Arms surrounded her and she knew it was Andrew. She started shaking. He glanced over at the pile of ashes. "Did he hurt you?" 289

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"No, I'm fine. Trevor's holding on by a thread. Did you find Valan or Kathryn?" "No. And I haven't seen Seamus. Come on." He grabbed her arm and they raced upstairs. They found the door to her room busted open. Seamus was staring at something on her vanity. Amara moved into the room and saw it was Valan's head with a death scream locked on his face. She didn't see the body anywhere. Seamus turned from the sight. Shadows filled the room and there were tears on his face. "I can go no further. My children are dying. I am nothing more than a whisper now. It is up—" Seamus stopped in mid-sentence and his knees buckled underneath him. A look of shock moved over his face. A tip of steel protruded from his chest. Andrew gasped and they both remained still while the Elder vampire died. His hands touched the steel, coming away red. His eyes rolled up in the back of his head and once the sword was pulled out, he collapsed on the floor. "Gods, he's been whining for centuries. 'Oh my sacred mother is dead. Oh poor me all my brothers and sisters are dead'." Kathryn licked the blade clean. "Mmm. I forgot how good they taste. Almost like chicken. Now you're the last piece in the puzzle, Jacquelyn. One more and I'll have it all." Kathryn giggled while she watched the two of them. "You are so dead, bitch," Amara growled. All of her vampiric strength surged forward and this time when her fangs grew, they were real. She glanced at Andrew, who was trying to circle around. Kathryn saw that and smiled. With a flick of her hand, Andrew was thrown out of the window and 290

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over the balcony. Amara tried to move after him, but Kathryn laughed and with another flick of her hand, she held Amara motionless. Time stopped. A great pain blossomed in Amara's chest. The link binding Andrew and her hummed to life. Amara couldn't move from Kathryn's power. All she wanted to do was cry out because the thread between her and Andrew went dead. She bit her lip and could do nothing more than pray. "Oh, Jacquelyn, I hoped that it wouldn't come down to this. Did you really think I was going to let Andrew pollute you with his dribble? Puh-lease I'm the only one left out of all of them. I can give you what you need." Kathryn sat on the bed and patted the space next to her. Amara was released, but she only backed up another step and tried to get to the door. "So why kill him?" she whispered. Tears lined her flesh and it seemed that even in undeath nothing could save her from that weakness. Kathryn moved the blade under her nails. "Do you really think I would let you take my place? Tsk tsk. I do have to say, it was quite a shock to see you and Andrew arrive. I thought Valan was going to take care of your lover boy, but like Lydia he failed me. I almost had you. I had to improvise with Simon. He did enjoy fucking you, though. He told me all about it, but no—you had to get back together with Andrew. You have always been little Miss Perfect." Amara scanned the manor, barely listening to Kathryn. Andrew? she screamed. There was nothing. Her mind was empty. There was no one to help her. 291

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"Poor Trevor. It's too bad, really. He should have listened to Si and me. It would have made his undeath a whole lot easier. Oh, stop mourning. You'll be with loverboy in a few minutes, or another lifetime." Amara's heart dropped. "Andrew's not dead." "Oh come now. Don't cry. You're all alone. Now you know how I felt when Simon killed me. You'll see Andy next time around. Nothing that reincarnation won't cure. So come on. One swing and I'll have all the Record Keeper's powers. Simon and I will show the humans a thing or two about what real vampires are. We will be their nightmares come true." The insanity she'd seen in Simon's eyes was evident in Kathryn's. Fear crept in her throat. She thought about it and something dawned on her. "I guess you'll have to say the same thing about Simon. You see, poor Si lost his head." Kathryn stopped cleaning her nails. The calm expression dropped, her mask rearranged and hatred was what met Amara. She lunged at her with the blade, screaming like a shrew. With a quick thought, Amara gathered her energy and thought about fire. She saw the flames burning white hot, blue at their tips turning orange and yellow at the bottom. The heat threatened to consume her, but before she let it touch her, she pushed it with her mind. Suddenly Kathryn's clothes burst into flame and she ignited. The smell of broiled flesh filled the room, but she ran downstairs, back into the library. Trevor let out a moan when she kneeled next to him. His color had gone from pale to gray. "Hey. You look better." "Liar. You always sucked at lying, Mar. We both know—" 292

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"That you need blood." She bit into her wrist and shoved it into her friend's mouth before he could protest. "If I already lost Andrew, then I won't lose you. Friends have to stick together, right? Even if you're an ass sometimes." Trevor sucked weakly. Amara monitored him until his color was less blue and it seemed that he would be fine until he could get fresh human blood. "Thank you." "No problem." Amara looked around at the mess. Grief sliced her and she felt the emptiness from Andrew's death. How was she going to live without him? How was she going to face an eternity of nights without him by her side? She had almost lost Trevor. Gods, how was she going to do it? She had done it before because she had to, but there was always the prospect of revenge. Her heart had splintered when Simon took Andrew's life in the past. The grief had stayed with her soul even into this lifetime. Now she was facing that lonely path again. Could she wait another four hundred years until his soul reincarnated again? Could she live that long without the other half of her soul? Trevor was beginning to move around as he regained some of his strength. Amara was forced to try and think about him and not Andrew. How could she? Her body and his had fit perfectly together. The way that he smelled and how his eyes reminded her of a stormy sea. The feel of his hands when he touched every secret part of her. It would be agony to live without him for centuries. He would come back, and she would have to find him once again. Out of the whole world, how could she do that? It was fate or luck that had brought them together, with a little boost from Seamus to steer them 293

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in the right direction. Now she was going to walk the road alone. Eternally. "What the hell happened here?" Amara turned and saw Andrew standing in the doorway of the library. His face was raw. Pink gashes covered his skin and hands. He limped slightly and there were pieces of twigs and grass in his hair. Amara said nothing, but ran into her lover's arms. "I thought she killed you when she pushed you out the window. The pain of your body hitting the ground surged through me and then I couldn't feel you anymore. I didn't want to think about not seeing you again or waiting another few centuries for you to come back." "Hush, love. You won't lose me. I'm here. She masked the link and made you believe that I was dead. She did the same thing with Trevor and Josh. To make you feel alienated so you would go to her for solace. I'm here. I'll always be here. Nothing has changed." His arms closed around her. Every silent prayer she had said had come true. "Where's Kathryn?" "Upstairs. I lit her on fire. I thought about getting to Trevor." "Come on. We have to be sure she's dead. There will be no more coming back for Kathryn. I really don't want to go through all of this again." Andrew let her go and ran upstairs. Amara followed, wondering if they really could stop Kathryn's spirit from coming back. Back in her room, the smell of charbroiled flesh overwhelmed their senses and there was a large scorch mark 294

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on the bed and rug. Kathryn was gone. Andrew knelt down and gathered Seamus up. The Elder vampire moaned and Amara was surprised he was still alive. "Master," whispered Andrew. Seamus opened his eyes a slit, but he motioned for Amara to come over. Amara knelt down on the other side of the Elder vampire. "Listen quickly. Your destiny is more than having the ability to see into the future or know when vampires are born. There is much more to it. Even our Mother could never see that and entrusted the gift to one line, passed down heart to heart. In that I cannot change, at least not for me. She knew that I would rejoin her soon." "You should rest." Andrew slit his wrist with a sharpened nail and placed it over the wound. The blood helped only a little. "No, you don't understand. It's my time to rejoin those I love. I have lived for eons. Amara, you came back because you knew there would be danger. Both of you are being offered a gift. You have always been meant for one another. I taught you all I could, Andrew. This time I made it right between us." "What're you saying? What do we have to do?" "Kathryn must still be stopped. Andrew, you must take my heart. You will both gain the power of my line and my knowledge." "I can't." "If you don't, then all will be lost. There is not much time."

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"Master. Please, you can't leave us now." Andrew's voice cracked. Amara realized how much he cared for the one who had made him. "Andrew, we must to do as he asks." Amara stared at the dying vampire. The Elder nodded. The first vampire had inhabited her. This had to be done. Without hesitation, she sunk her fangs in the side of his neck. His blood almost made her choke because it was so thick and filled with power. The overwhelming energy made her whole system sing. She felt another pulling from the weak fount until finally there was nothing left. Amara looked up and saw that Andrew had plunged his fist into Seamus's chest. His nails broke through the ribcage of his master and he pulled out the heart. With one quick motion, he tore it apart. Sucking her half dry she ate the organ without thinking. With each mouthful, new strength imbibed her. Finally, with her last bite, she looked up at Andrew, who stared at the crumbling body. "I never wanted this," stated Andrew. "I know, love. But there's nothing we can do now. We have to find Kathryn. We can't let her pollute anymore of us." "I don't know where she sleeps." "I have a hunch." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Six Amara ran out of the room and onto the stairs. She went about halfway down and stopped by a tapestry on the wall. If Kathryn was living within Crimson's memories, then this would be the same too. Amara moved the tapestry aside and behind it was a small alcove. Her hands ran over the side of the wall, feeling the cool stone underneath her fingers. She moved slowly until she found a brick that was smoother than the others. She pressed it in. Gears ground in the wall and then a door swung open. Amara ran down another hallway and up more stairs. It was true. Kathryn might have been insane, but she also thought herself to be like Crimson. And Crimson had kept her lair a secret from all those accept a few, and Amara was one of them. Not even Andrew knew where it had been in the castle in the old days. "Kathryn, I know you're in here," Amara's voice echoed in the nearly empty room. "Burnt meat has a tendency to stink." "My, my. So, I guess you did find me. Big deal. What a shocker. You discovered who I was, very good. It took you long enough. She was almost mine. You had to butt in, didn't you, Andy?" The other vampire moved from the shadows. Her skin was blistered, red, and oozing. In some places the flesh was black and muscle showed underneath. Her hair was gone, leaving a bald and red scalp. Her clothes hung from her in tatters and some had melted onto her skin. "So how did you get Crimson out?" Andrew asked. 297

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"You mean poor Little Miss Record Keeper? The great thing about having a Druid under your control, and knowing a little magick, is that you can circumvent all the reincarnation bullshit. Once you died, sweetie—right at that crucial moment when your bitch friend had Simon's heart in her delicate little hands—I saw the perfect opportunity. Crys felt you die. I was supposed to get your body. She thought with her great powers that she could hold your soul and fight the man she loved. Well, poor little disturbed vampire didn't feel it when Simon stabbed her in the chest. In that instant I was free to have the body. You, chickie, were long gone and your body was no good to me since your back was broken and your body was already cold. I needed a warm, viable body, and Crimson was already compromised so I pushed your little friend out." "You set us all up? And used Lydia, and Josh too?" Amara asked. Her eyes scanned the room for something to use against Kathryn. "Yeah, that was fun. Josh was easy to turn. So was Lydia. But she disappointed me. She was the push I needed to get you here. Her whining voice about how she was so worried about Trevor. And then having you think Josh was dead. That was even better. The look on your pathetic face. Unfortunately, Josh got there too late and I was bored with her and that little brat. "You know I'm rather tired of this little tale." With a wave of her hand, Amara and Andrew were on the floor and they couldn't move. The weight of Kathryn's power pressed on them. The other vampire stood over them with a dagger. 298

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"Now who's first? It would be fun to watch you squirm, Andy. But I think Amara deserves to watch. I'd love to see the expression on her face while I pull the flesh from your bones. Or I know, you'll be my servant and replace Simon. You'll be a great fuck, too. I should keep you around, Amara, to watch how you'll react and see your heart break. On second thought, I'd rather enjoy killing you now." Kathryn straddled Amara and slowly put pressure on her chest, letting the knife slip into her flesh, centimeter by centimeter. Amara tried not to scream, but in the end the agony was too much. Gods help me, she whispered. She extended her mind outward and it settled on something. It was sharp. Thin. Her mind wrapped around the weapon and with a small nudge she pulled it toward her and aimed it at Kathryn. The vampire gave her a startled expression and then slumped over. Her weight landed hard on the dagger, the blade pierced into Amara's heart. Then there was no more pain. She looked down and saw Andrew cradling her. She wanted to stay. Her heart was anchored to where she was. She reached out, but could not touch him. She had done the very same thing with him centuries ago. How she had offered her neck to him. How she had gambled on their love and their souls being tied together. And she had won. Now there was no way that she could stay. "Please, not again," she whispered. Even as she said it, her cares were falling away and the memories of all her lives were merging together. The scene below her grew hazy. 299

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No, not again, a voice said before her. Standing there was Crimson. She wore white with her copper hair loose around her shoulders. Her skin was pale and her feet were bare. I thought you only showed up in mirrors. Amara felt another presence next to her. It was crazed. She looked over and saw that it was Kathryn. The other vampire looked at Crimson. Will she come back? No. Watch. Crimson ushered her back. The brightness around Kathryn dimmed and was replaced by swirling shadows. Inside the shadows it was cold. Kathryn turned, finally sensing them, and smiled. The darkness latched onto her. Shock and terror replaced the look of triumph that she had. No, you can't take me! the other vampire screamed. It was ear-splitting and made Amara cringe. Suddenly Kathryn was there and then not there, swallowed alive by the darkness that had come for her. What happened to her? She has gotten what was meant for her. I don't think you have to worry about it. Crimson laughed. It's good to see you too. Live a little while. Bring our race back to what it used to be. Amara smiled. Thank you. For everything. Will she come back? No. Nor will Simon. You are free of them. Now go have a little fun. If you need advice, there are always more mirrors. Amara hugged her friend one last time. Crimson's strength filled her for a moment. In that instance, Amara knew one day her friend would come back and they would see one 300

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another again. Still she had so many questions, but before she could ask them she was heavy again and she fell. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Seven Amara opened her eyes and drew in a large breath. The pain in her chest was immense and she could hardly move. For a moment she thought she was in her bed, dying of pneumonia again. Andrew was in the shadows about to come to her and take away the pain. That was ages ago. She stared up into Andrew's eyes. Iridescent gray stared back at her with worry. "Dying is a bitch," she coughed. "At least I didn't lose you this time." He drew her up into his embrace and she melted against him. "For a minute, I thought I had. How?" "I had some help from an old friend." "Crimson." Amara nodded. Andrew offered his wrist. Taking it gratefully, she drank in the blood that had given her life twice now. Peace settled over her. Their dilemma was over. All their enemies were dead. Kathryn and Simon would never haunt them again. Now the future was the only thing before them. Sleep loomed before Amara. It would heal her body and hopefully, finally, bring some peace to her soul. **** Amara checked her missed calls and saw it was Detective Miller. He had been leaving her messages for days informing her she was free to go. Trevor had paid a visit to clear up idiosyncrasies from Lydia's death. Now the detective believed 302

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he had let her go in peace. It made her life a lot easier. It would have been hard to explain she was called away because she had turned into an undead-coffin-sleeping bloodsucker. Well, she hadn't slept in a coffin—yet. Amara pulled on her sunglasses and thought about the past few weeks. So much had changed since she had left Charlotte. She had met the love of her life. The hole in her heart had been sealed. No longer did she have to worry about growing old. Amara was trying to get used to the sun on her face. It tingled on her exposed flesh and the wound in her chest would never completely heal. She was reincarnated for a reason. Her humanity had been given to her so she could learn better lessons in order to deal with her immortality. Fate had given her Andrew back and she still had Trevor. She and Andrew had taken Kathryn's and Simon's remains and left them outside. Once the sun had risen, there was nothing left but ash. Andrew had started sorting through all the papers and books to try and find anything that Crimson or any of the other Records Keepers had left behind. Amara was learning to utilize her new powers. She could move objects with her mind. She had started experimenting with pulling the shadows around her the way Seamus had done. The strangest ability of all was that, if she concentrated, she felt other vampires all around her. They extended out from her like the small web that she had of her friends, but this web contained hundreds of others. She even had an idea of how to call them all and get the other vampires together, like the Record Keeper had done in the old days. That was something she wanted to do when she had settled into her new role. The 303

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now empty table would be filled again. The ghost voices of the past would no longer haunt her. That would come soon. The vampires in the web were old and young, some being reborn, and others being turned by existing vampires. Seamus had been right, not many knew of the Record Keeper anymore. Now was not the time to worry about that. Now she enjoyed the time she had with Andrew. Her fantasies were answered. Her body responded to him as did her soul. Amara smiled at the thought and followed the link between them. She closed her eyes. In an instant she was able to weave into his mind with ease while he leafed through several journals that he had found among Crimson's things that Kathryn had never discovered. How's the drive? he whispered. Her body shivered as she felt his hand caress her breast and trailed a little lower. Long and boring, but— But it's something you have to do. Yeah. I'll be back soon. I'm sure you will. I have many things planned for when you come back. His smile was devilish inside her mind. He sent her images of what he would do to her once she returned. He would punish her for being away so long. Amara only laughed and opened her eyes, sending her love along their connection, and focused back on the road. Walls of stone surrounded her as a four-lane highway had been converted into two for repairs. Orange and white construction barrels lined the road with blinking lights that she found annoying. The drive back to Charlotte was going 304

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slower than the drive to Shelton had gone, but it was something she had to do. She had to shed her old life and was giving her notice at the shop. Who needed to do readings anymore when people were beyond her scope and a whole other existence waited for her? Friends and family she would keep with her until she couldn't hide the fact she wasn't aging. Her race needed a tutor to move them into the coming age. She intended to reach out and contact the Second Born, the reawakening vampires. They shouldn't have to go through the agony of being alone when they were awakening. That was something she wanted to do. But even that was a long way off. For now, the road stretched out before her, to forever. The yellow lines mapped the journey she would have to take until her trip ended. Eternity was within her grasp and, unlike in her past, it offered so many possibilities. Her soul was complete and darkness no longer held a threat. In truth, she was finally able to call it home. [Back to Table of Contents]

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About the Author Crymsyn Hart is a bestselling author of erotic romance. Her worlds are filled with luscious vampires, gorgeous gods, quirky witches, and everything else that goes bump in the night. Crymsyn worked as a psychic for many years in Boston while attending Emerson College. She graduated with a BFA in Writing, Literature, & Publishing. When she gets bored, she sneaks away to local cemeteries and coffee shops to find peace and quiet. Granted, graveyards might be a great place for the dead, but she still has to listen to their chattering. It can get annoying when all you want to do is write, but she can tell you quite a ghost story. Crymsyn shares her life with a small zoo a playful puppy and her hubby Mark. If you come after dark, you're more then likely to find her snuggled up with a gory horror movie, or a bloody vampire movie.

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