I Can't Do That!: My Social Stories to Help with Communication, Self-Care and Personal Skills [With CD-ROM]

I Can’t Do That! My social stories to help with communication, self-care and personal skills

John Ling

A Lucky Duck Book

© John Ling 2006 First published 2006 Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form, or by any means, only with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers. Rights to copy pages marked as handouts, certificates or overhead foils are extended to the purchaser of the publication for his/her use. The right of the author to be identified as Author of this work has been asserted by him/her in accordance with the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988. Paul Chapman Publishing A SAGE Publications Company 1 Oliver’s Yard 55 City Road London EC1Y 1SP SAGE Publications Inc. 2455 Teller Road Thousand Oaks, California 91320 SAGE Publications India Pvt Ltd B-42, Panchsheel Enclave Post Box 4109 New Delhi 110 017 www.luckyduck.co.uk Commissioning Editor: George Robinson Editorial Team: Wendy Ogden, Sarah Lynch, Mel Maines Design and Illustrations: Jess Wright A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library Library of Congress Control Number 2005907006 ISBN10 1-4129-1907-X ISBN13 978-1-4129-1907-4 Printed on paper from sustainable resources. Printed in Great Britain by The Cromwell Press Ltd, Trowbridge, Wiltshire.

Contents How to Use These Stories........ 1 Writing Your Own Stories ..........................................2 Further Reading ................................................................4 Summary ...............................................................................4 How to use the CD-ROM ...........................................4

I Keep Butting In............................................................ 30 I Keep Calling Out the Answers ........................... 31 Nobody Takes My Things ........................................ 32 When I Meet People ................................................... 33 When I Say Hello or Goodbye............................... 34 I Like Looking Into My Friend’s Classrooms . 35

1. Bodily Functions .......................5

I Take Things That Don’t Belong to Me .......... 36

I Like Sucking My Thumb ...........................................6

Why Do People Praise Me? ..................................... 37

I Keep Spitting At People ............................................7

I Like to Play with One Thing All the Time ... 38

I Sneeze A Lot!....................................................................8

Taking My Clothes Off .............................................. 39

I Like Making Noises with My Body......................9

Sharing the Toys ............................................................ 40

I Am A Writing Machine .......................................... 10

I Like Throwing Things .............................................. 41

Why We Eat Oranges ................................................. 11

I Want to Do It My Way ........................................... 42

Why Do I Have To Keep Clean and Tidy? ...... 12

When I Go Home From School ............................ 43

I Like Touching My Body.......................................... 13

I Don’t Like That Teacher ........................................ 44

When I Go to the Toilet ........................................... 14

Sometimes I Sit Too Close ....................................... 45

Wiping My Bottom...................................................... 15

Good Touching and Bad Touching ................... 46

I Like to Feel Safe in the Toilet .............................. 16

Why I Do...Hitting, Nipping,

When I Go To the Toilet .......................................... 17

Squeezing and Scratching ........................................ 47

I Get Worried About Going To the Toilet .... 18

I Miss My Grandad ....................................................... 48

2. Social Skills................................19

3. Anger Management ................49

I Like to Go Out in the Car ..................................... 20

I Need to Have Time Out ........................................ 50

When We Line up at Lunch-time........................ 21

Sometimes I Get Told Off ........................................ 51

What Happens When We Stand in a Line? ... 22

Swearing ............................................................................. 52

I Know How to Sit and Stand Nicely ................. 23

I Get Mad When I Make a Mistake! ................... 53

I Want Someone to Play With .............................. 24

Why We Have Traffic Lights ................................... 54

I Can Have More than One Friend ..................... 25

I Get Cross When I Don’t Want to Do It........ 55

Finding a Friend ............................................................. 26

When the Lights Go Out.......................................... 56

Playtime .............................................................................. 27

I Get Angry When I Am Told Off ........................ 57

I Like to Sit Close ........................................................... 28

Wet Playtime ................................................................... 58

I Can Choose Different Meals................................ 29

I Get Mad When I Lose.............................................. 59 I Hate Losing .................................................................... 60

4. Work ........................................61 I Have to Work with Different Assistants ...... 62 Why Do Assistants Help Me? ................................ 63 My Assistant Helps Other People Too ............ 64 What Happens When my Assistant is Away? ................................................................................... 65 Why Do I Do Different Work From Other People? ................................................................. 66 I Don’t Like Being Helped ........................................ 67 I Can Ask for Help ........................................................ 68 I Can’t Do It! ..................................................................... 69 I Don’t Like Doing Different Work ..................... 70 I Like to Finish My Work .......................................... 71 Working By Myself ....................................................... 72 I Get Worried When I Don’t Understand Things................................................................................... 73 I Am Worried About Tests ..................................... 74 I Don’t Want to Stop Working ............................. 75 I Like to Hide My Work ............................................. 76 How Much Do I Have to Do? ................................ 77 My Teacher Asks Lots of Questions .................. 78 I Like to Do Pictures .................................................... 79 Sometimes I Don’t Like the Work....................... 80 Why Do I Have to Do School Work at Home? ............................................................................ 81 Why Do I Have to Finish Work at Home? ..... 82 Who Helps Me With My Homework? ............. 83

5. Games and PE.........................85 I Need to Get Fitter ..................................................... 86 Why Do We Do Warm-ups? .................................. 87 Long Jump ......................................................................... 88 I Want to Carry the Ball ............................................ 89

Index .............................................90

How To Use These Stories The stories in this book have all been written for the benefit of individual children with autism in schools, in Kirklees, West Yorkshire, UK. Some have been written with the help of the child, or with their teacher or assistant. I hope the book will be of great practical use to both school staff and to parents and carers. You may copy individual stories if they fit your circumstances, but I hope you will use them as a model or starting point for your own, because each one has to be tailored to your individual child. Carol Gray in her book The New Social Story Book (see Further Reading at the end of this chapter) mentions the ‘social confusion’ experienced by children with autism. ... a child is demonstrating a behaviour that seems to occur ‘for no apparent reason’ or totally ‘out of context’. I Can’t Do That! addresses this social confusion by requiring parents and professionals to first stop and consider a situation from the perspective of the child or adult with ASD.

What kind of children are they for? You will find they are helpful for all sorts of other children, those with delayed language development, those with dysfunctional family backgrounds, those who lack confidence for all sorts of reasons, and those, especially boys, who resort to action or anger as soon as something frustrates them. When I wrote, ‘I get angry when I am told off,’ for one little boy, his mum said, ‘I think I’ll try it on his dad as well.’

How old are they? The age of the children for whom these stories were written ranges from about five to thirteen. I found it difficult to sort them into age suitability because much of the behaviour of the older children was more like that of a toddler. Children vary enormously in their maturity, and may be mature in some aspects of their life but immature in others. So I decided it would be far more useful to rely on the subject index. There are several stories about the same thing, with slight variations of emphasis (for example, toilet training). I am sure readers will be able to decide which model will suit their child.

Share your aims These stories work best if they are ‘owned’ by the child. You may use a model from the book, but it is best if you and the child agree on what it should contain, and even better if you write it together. If parents and carers know what you are aiming to do they can help by doing the same at home. So make sure they have a copy of the story. It helps for the child to understand that both school and parents are working together. The other children in the class or family also need to know what the child is trying to achieve. They can be helpful in reminding him of and reinforcing the desired behaviour. The story needs to be practical and achievable. Stick to down to earth language such as the child might use. It is not a teacher telling the child what to do, but the child telling herself. The story does not always have to be about bad things that you want to change. You can also write them to celebrate good things.

When to use them Make the stories part of a daily routine or even more frequent. Read the story to the child just before starting the activity. For example, if it is about putting your hand up and not calling out the answers, read it just before that activity is to begin. If it is about making a fuss in the supermarket, read it just

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before setting off. If the behaviour has already occurred, take the child aside and read the story again, then go back into the activity and try again. Keep the story in a folder along with other key items such as photos, rewards and so on. Then she can look at it often and reinforce her behaviour. When the behaviour has been achieved, stop using the story, but keep it in the folder, so that you can just point to it occasionally as a reminder. You may like to revise the story so as to put it into a past context.

Using rewards When the child has achieved the desired behaviour, celebrate it with a small reward, or praise from you and the other children. Or set up the reward just before the activity begins, so he knows what he is aiming for. It is useful to find out at the start what reward would be sufficiently alluring to the child. Some respond to stickers or smiley faces. Some like to accumulate minutes of reward time on a favourite activity (for example, extra computer time at the end of the day).

Writing Your Own Stories A young autistic friend of mine, age 22, often shared a lift with us to a meeting on Sundays. He was in the habit of phoning me at 11.30pm on Saturday night to ask if I was going! He would also call round at awkward times, such as in the middle of a meal. I wrote him a little protocol, describing what people might be doing at different times of the day. It included a list of suitable times to ring people or call on them. Since we shared this he no longer phones or calls at awkward times, but looks at his list and his watch before picking up the phone. A simple device; I wouldn’t call it a story, but it worked. It is a visual aid to help him with his poor sense of timing. That is his preferred method of learning. That is an example of the sort of habit that is most easily tackled by this method. One of the earliest stories came from a request from a school to help with a boy who was obsessed with a little girl in his class. Anton would sit right on top of her at carpet time, follow her round the room and in the playground. We sat down together and drew a set of squares and circles representing the idea of body space. He drew himself, his friend, and his mum and dad in the spaces. It was easy to show how body space can get mixed up by overlapping the shapes. With very little text he seemed to understand what was needed. With the addition of his own special cushion on the carpet, boundaries set in the playground and persistent repetition of the story, the problem was sorted after a couple of weeks. Some habits are very embarrassing, and teachers are loath to tackle them. A support assistant who sat with eleven year old Claire for some part of every day, whispered to me that she was masturbating in front of other children. Nobody wanted to mention it. So I wrote, ‘I like touching my body’. While I was talking to Claire in private one day I slipped this story in front of her. She read it in silence. I said, ‘OK?’ She nodded. So far as I know that was the end of it! Anyone can do this, there is no mystique about it, no special formula. That is my approach to writing these stories. If a child shows some repetitive behaviour that doesn’t seem susceptible to repeated telling about it, it may be that he needs to see rather than hear about it. He also needs a positive alternative to that behaviour, which can be rehearsed over a short period until the old behaviour is modified. If this is linked to some positive reward all the better.

How to get started • I don’t want to formularise the writing of these stories. As I said, anyone can do it. Try the following list as a guide. • What does the child do?

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• When does he do it? • What triggers it? • What happens as a result? Who is upset? • Is there a school or family rule about it? • What do you want to take its place? • What must the child do to make that happen? • What will be the result of doing that instead? • Who will benefit?

Make it positive You will notice there are almost no negatives in these stories. No ‘must not’ or ‘can’t’ or ‘never’. There are plenty of ‘we do’ and ‘I will’ and ‘I will try’. There is always a positive resolution at the end. By working on the positive outcome, it is sometimes possible to ignore or diminish the negative behaviour. The language is always simple, logical, often blunt, frank and child like. It is no use being prissy about ‘breaking wind’, for instance, when most children use more down to earth terms such as ‘farting’. The pictures are usually apt and humorous. Sometimes I leave spaces for the children to write in and draw. You could use photos, newspapers, bits of cereal packets, anything which makes it relevant. There are lists, such as, ‘When I Go To the Toilet’ or ‘Good and Bad Touching’. These simply put the actions to be taken in the right order. Or they give good and bad alternatives, such as ‘I Like Throwing Things’. Sometimes there are jokes. Joshua had a habit of letting doors close in people’s faces. Among the alternatives I gave him were slam it in their face or hold it open. He laughed himself silly each time we read it, but he always remembered to hold the door open.

Show, not tell These stories work because they are visual. Teachers and parents sometimes say, ‘I keep telling him, but it makes no difference.’ One teacher was in the habit of talking for twenty five minutes at a time. She reported that the child in question ‘wouldn’t concentrate’. But we know that stories presented in this way do make a difference, because many children and adults are visual learners or kinaesthetic learners. They learn better by seeing and doing, rather than by hearing. Try it and see. Use pictures if you can draw or get them from Clipart or from the Internet (for example, Google Images). Some have blank spaces for you and the child to draw in. Some are simply lists, ‘Good and Bad Touching’, for instance, which has been one of the most frequently used and most successful devices.

Literal thinking Many, perhaps most, children with autism and ADHD, and those with delayed language development are literal thinkers. One teaching assistant was sitting on the carpet with her child for a long time, and she said, ‘Oh, I’ve got pins and needles in my leg.’ The child pulled up the leg of her trousers, had a look and said, ‘No you haven’t!’ That combined with visual learning means that we have to avoid any metaphorical language or double meanings. This doesn’t mean we can’t be funny, but it needs to be more of the concrete slapstick kind like the boy who enjoyed the thought of slamming doors in people’s faces.

What if it doesn’t work? The intention of this book is to get you writing your own stories. I hope you have as much fun as I do! If they don’t work in about two weeks, you probably need to try another tactic. The stories are only one of many techniques for changing behaviour. It might be, for instance, that the behaviour is triggered by the

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actions of other children. Sometimes I think it is the other children or the adults around them whose behaviour has to change. If the trigger remains the same, then the child may find it hard to change their reaction. So sharing the story with the other children, or discussing it with the teacher or assistant, may help them to eliminate the behaviour. Some children get locked into cycles of behaviour that are difficult to break. It may be necessary sometimes to move seating, or even to move to another class. There are a lot of stories about anger. There are also lots of other techniques for dealing with anger. One school uses an ‘angerometer’. This is simply a strip of cardboard with four spirals on it, from small to large. Number 1 means, ‘I am calm’. Number 4 means, ‘I am going to explode’. The teacher asks what number the angry student is at. If she is at number 2 she needs to calm down a bit. If at number 3 she is allowed to go to a calming down place out of the room until she feels better. Sam had a habit of stroking the hair of a girl with blond tresses and also the blond fringe of his assistant. Because they regarded this as a rather cute little habit they did not stop him. When it was recognised as a rather unhealthy obsession the children and staff were taught to say ‘hands down’ and remove his hands in a friendly sort of way. He was also given a piece of fur to stroke instead. This combined with a story about touching hair seemed to do the trick.

Further Reading Gray, C. & Sean McAndrew (Illustrator) (2001) My Social Stories Book. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers. Gray, C. (2000) The New Social Story Book. Texas: Future Horizons Inc. Smith, C. (2003) Writing and Developing Social Stories: Practical Interventions in Autism. Bicester: Speechmark UK

Summary The best stories are written together, by you and the child. Use these stories as a template exemplars. It is OK to discuss a suitable story with the child to help her write her own.

DO Use them frequently. Make them positive. Use rewards. Use the language of the child. Make them visual. Have a positive outcome. Involve the parents and carers.

AVOID Negatives. Double meanings in language. Adult language.

How to use the CD-ROM The CD-ROM contains a PDF file labelled ‘Story Sheets.pdf ’ which consists of the worksheets printed in this resource. You will need Acrobat Reader version 3 or higher to view and print these resources.

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Bodily Functions I Like Sucking my Thumb I Keep Spitting at People I Sneeze A Lot I Like Making Noises with My Body I Am a Writing Machine Why We Eat Oranges Why Do I Have to Keep Clean and Tidy? I Like Touching My Body When I Go to the Toilet Wiping My Bottom I Like to Feel Safe in the Toilet When I Go to the Toilet I Get Worried About Going to the Toilet

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I Like Sucking My Thumb When we are little children, sometimes we suck our thumb. This is a comforting habit. It reminds us of the time when we were babies, and used to suck a teat to get milk. Now I am older, if I suck my thumb, other children might think I am like a baby. Some of them get embarrassed. Some like to make fun of it. If I twiddle some Blutak when I am concentrating, this also makes me feel comfortable. When I am concentrating I will try to remember not to suck my thumb. I will twiddle some Blutak instead. Me Then nobody will be embarrassed. Nobody will call me a baby. Picture of me sucking my thumb:

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I Keep Spitting At People Inside our bodies there are some liquids. Snot comes out of my nose. Spit comes out of my mouth. Wee comes out of my penis People feel bad when they see these liquids coming out. It makes them go, “Uuuuuurrrrrgh!” All these liquids contain germs. Germs are very tiny organisms too small for us to see. Germs make us poorly. If my germs touch someone that person may get poorly. If I spit at someone they may catch my germs. This may make them poorly. Teachers will be cross with me. I will try not to spit at people. Then they will not feel bad. They will not catch my germs and get poorly. My teacher will be pleased with me.

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I Sneeze A Lot! Sometimes when I sneeze a lot of stuff comes out of my nose. It goes all over my face and clothes. I feel embarrassed. I keep a tissue in my pocket. I use it to wipe up the stuff. Usually I can tell if I am going to sneeze. I feel a tickle in my nose or my throat. If I think I am going to sneeze, I will try to get my tissue out before it happens I will hold it over my nose. Then the stuff will go into it, and not over my face. I will throw the tissue in the bin, and put another one in my pocket. Then I won’t be embarrassed.

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I Like Making Noises With My Body We can make noises caused by wind in our stomach. We can make noises with our mouth and our bottom. Everyone does this sometimes. Noises with our mouth are called burping or belching. Noises with our bottom are called breaking wind, farting or pooping. Some people think this is very funny. But lots of people think it is not funny. It makes them feel uncomfortable because of the bad smell. So when there are people about we try not to do it. Then most people will feel OK. I will try to do it only when I am alone. I will not fart or burp in the classroom. Then I will not upset anyone.

Fullurp! 9

I Am A Writing Machine I am a writing machine. These are my parts. My back. It holds me up straight.

My elbows. I lean them on the desk. They stop me falling over.

My hands. One hand holds the pen or pencil. The other holds the paper, to stop it sliding about.

My eyes. They help me to see what I am writing.

I need to use all my parts when I do my writing. 10

Why We Eat Oranges Everyone brings different things in their lunch boxes. Some people eat things that I don’t like. Some people don’t like things that I eat.

e ce g n ui a r J

O

Some people eat oranges. Oranges are round, orange and shiny. They have peel on the outside and slices full of juice on the inside. When you squash them or bite them, all the juice comes out. Orange juice is good to drink. It is mixed with water to make Orange Squash and Orange Pop. I like these drinks. Orange juice contains Vitamin C. This helps my bones to grow strong.

I will try to eat oranges and drink orange juice every day. Then I will have strong bones. I will feel good.

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Why Do I Have To Keep Clean and Tidy? When I am alone I can wear anything I like. I don’t have to wash or comb my hair. But when I am with other people I have to do things differently. If I don’t wash I will look dirty and smell awful. If I don’t brush my teeth my breath will smell bad. If I don’t comb my hair I will look scruffy. If I wear dirty clothes I may smell and look scruffy. People might get upset or feel sick. When we go to school we keep clean and not scruffy. This makes everyone feel comfortable. I will try to remember to wash myself, brush my teeth and keep my clothes clean and tidy. Then everyone will feel comfortable around me.

This is me looking scruffy.

This is me looking clean and tidy.

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I Like Touching My Body Sometimes I like to rub my private parts between my legs. This gives me a good feeling. Everybody does this now and then. This is normal. But some people think it is rude, or wrong. Some people feel embarrassed if they see me doing it. They may laugh or make fun of me. I will try not to embarrass people in school. I will remember – private parts are for private places. I will only do this when I am alone.

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When I Go To the Toilet When I was little my mum used to help me to wipe my bottom. It’s hard for little children to wipe their own bottom. Now I am ten I can do it for myself. I don’t need Mum to do it for me. Wiping our bottom is a private thing. Nobody likes to do it when somebody is watching. Now when I go to the toilet for a poo, this is what I will do. 1. Go in the bathroom by myself. 2. Close the door so no-one can see me. 3. Have a poo. 4. Wipe my own bottom. 5. Pull my trousers up. 6. Flush the toilet. 7. Wash my hands. Mum will be downstairs. She will be pleased.

don't forget to flush!

Now I can go to the toilet by myself, both at school and at home.

Pong!

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Wiping My Bottom When I was a little boy my mum used to help me to wipe my bottom. It’s hard for little boys to wipe their own bottom. But it is easy for big boys to do it. I don’t like wiping my bottom, because I am afraid I might get poo on my hands. Sometimes I wait too long before going to the toilet. Then I mess my pants and it smells horrible. My mum will give me some disposable gloves to use when I wipe my bottom. Then I will not have to touch the poo. I will try to go to the toilet when I need to at school and at home. I will put on the gloves before I touch the toilet paper. Then I will not get poo on my hands. I will flush the toilet. I will throw away the gloves afterwards. This will please my mum and dad. We will all feel a lot happier.

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I Like to Feel Safe in the Toilet When I go to the toilet I like to feel safe. I feel safe at home, so I like to go to the toilet in my house. I like to wear a nappy when I go to the toilet. This makes extra work for my mum. She is worried about this. Mum wishes I could go to the toilet without a nappy. If I go to the toilet without a nappy, then I could also go to the toilet in school. If I do this then Mum will not be worried. She will be very happy. The teachers will also stop being worried. I will try to go to the toilet without a nappy. Then I will try to go to the toilet in school. I will try to make my mum happy.

Your Highness!

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When I Go To the Toilet Every day I go to the toilet. Sometimes I want to go at home, and sometimes at school. I like to take my clothes off in the toilet at home. But if I do that at school people might laugh at me. Small children sometimes take their clothes off, but now I am older, I only need to pull my trousers and underpants down. When I go to the toilet at home or at school, this is what I will do. 1. Go into the toilet or bathroom. 2. Close the door. 3. Take my trousers and underpants down below my knees. 4. Sit on the toilet. 5. Do a poo or a wee. 6. Wipe my bottom with toilet paper. 7. Drop it in the toilet. 8. Pull up my trousers and underpants, pull up the zip, tuck my shirt in. 9. Flush the toilet once. 10. Wash my hands with soap and water in the sink. 11. Dry my hands with the towel, or a paper towel. 12. Put the paper towel in the bin. 13. Go back to my lesson or my activity.

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I Get Worried About Going To the Toilet Sometimes I feel I want to go to the toilet in the middle of a lesson. I can usually wait until the end of the lesson. But lots of people go to the toilet in between lessons and it gets very noisy and busy in there. I like to go by myself, when no-one is around. It is OK to go to the toilet in the middle of a lesson, if I feel I need to go. This is what I have to do. I can put my hand up. The teacher will speak to me. I can say, “Please can I go to the toilet?” The teacher will usually say yes. Then I will go to the toilet by myself. It will be quiet and I will feel safe. When I go to my new school I can also do this. It will be OK.

do not disturb! 18

I Like to Go Out in the Car When We Line Up at Lunch-time What Happens When We Stand in a Line I Know How to Sit and Stand Nicely I Want Someone to Play With I Can Have More Than One Friend Finding a Friend Playtime I Like to Sit Close I Can Choose Different Meals I Keep Butting In I Keep Calling Out the Answers Nobody Takes My Things When I Meet People

Social Skills When I Say Hello or Goodbye I Like Looking Into my Friends’ Classrooms I Take Things That Don’t Belong to Me Why Do People Praise Me? I Like to Play with One Thing All the Time Taking My Clothes Off Sharing the Toys I Like Throwing Things I Want to Do it My Way When I Go Home From School I Don’t Like That Teacher Sometimes I Sit Too Close Good Touching and Bad Touching Why I Do...Hitting, Nipping, Squeezing and Scratching I Miss My Grandad

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I Like to Go Out in the Car My dad sits in the driving seat. I like to sit in the front every time. Mum and Haseeb sit in the back. This makes Mum sad. It makes Haseeb sad. They think this is not fair. Mum would like to sit in the front. Haseeb would like to sit in the front. I will try to take turns. Sometimes I will sit in the back. Mum can sit in the front. Haseeb can sit in the front. Then we all have a turn. This will be fair to everyone. Then we will all be happy.

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When We Line Up at Lunch-time When it is lunch-time we all go to the hall. We make a line and wait. Because there are lots of hungry children we cannot all get our food at the same time. We stand in line and talk quietly. We do not muck about or touch each other. This makes it easier for the grown-ups to look after us. Our line moves along until it is our turn to go in. Then we go in and eat our lunch. I will try to stand quietly in the line. I will try not to touch the other children. Then we will all feel safe. My teacher will be pleased with me.

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What Happens When We Stand in a Line? Every day we move from our room to another part of the school. We stand in a line and stand still before we go. Some people can’t stand still. They bump into each other by mistake. They might stand on my foot or bump into me. This makes me cross. I don’t like it when they do this. If I wait a bit, they will stop moving about. Then they will not bump into me or stand on my foot. I will try not to get cross. I will be calm when we stand in a line.

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I Know How to Sit and Stand Nicely Every day we do different things. We have different places for different sorts of work. When we finish one thing we often move to another place. Sometimes we stand in a line and wait. Sometimes we sit on a chair or the carpet. When we stand in a line we wait quietly with our hands by our sides. When we sit quietly we sit with our hands on our knees. When we are quiet we are ready to begin the next thing. I will try to stand quietly and keep my hands by my sides. I will try to sit quietly and keep my hands on my knees. Me standing

Me sitting

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I Want Someone to Play With When we go out to play, I like to have someone to play with. If I want someone to play with, what will I do? 1. Kick them? 2. Hit them? 3. Ask them? If I kick someone they might kick me back. If I hit someone they might hit me back. They will not play with me. If I ask someone they might play with me. I will try to ask someone when I want them to play with me. I will say....

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I Can Have More than One Friend Every day we go out to play, in between lessons, and at lunch time. I like to play with my friend ............................... She likes to play with me some of the time. But she also has other friends she likes to play with. If I play with .................................. all the time, she will not be able to play with her other friends. She may get fed up with me, and not want to play with me at all. I will ask ................................... if I can play with her. If she says no I will not get cross. I will play by myself, or I can ask somebody else if they will play with me.

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Finding a Friend Sometimes when I go out to play I have no-one to play with. I follow ........................................ around because I want to play with him. But ........................................ sometimes wants to play with someone else. If I follow him around he might be annoyed. He might say to me, ‘Go and play with someone else.’ If he says that I will not follow him any more. I will try to find someone else to play with. I will ask somebody, ‘Could I play with you please?’ Then ........................................ will feel better. And I will feel better.

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Playtime When it is playtime we go outside. We can play with .................... or .................... or .................... (name the things) Or we can play games with our friends. Sometimes I want to play with .................... I might say,

‘Can I play with you?’ He might say,

‘I don’t want to play.’

Then I will play by myself, or with someone else. I will try not to get upset. Then we will all be happy.

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I Like to Sit Close This is me in my own space.

This is .................... in her space.

This is my mum in her space.

This is my dad in his space. Sometimes we are very close and have a cuddle. Our spaces get mixed up. This is OK because we love each other. When we are in school, our spaces must not get mixed up. It makes .................... unhappy when I get close and touch her. When we are in school I will stay in my own space. ................... will stay in her space. I will try not to get mixed up with her space. Then we will both be happy. 28

I Can Choose Different Meals When it is lunch-time at school we go into the hall and stand in a queue. We get a tray and a plate, and then move forward in the queue, until we reach the food. There is always a choice of different meals. I have to choose which one to eat. I can eat something different every day. I do not have to eat the same thing each time. When I have chosen I can say to the cook, ‘That one please.’ Then I get a knife, fork and spoon, and go to a table and sit down with some friends. We chat while we eat our dinner. When we have finished we take our tray, plate and cutlery and put them on the trolley for dirty dishes. Then we go out to play. These are some of the meals I can choose from. Main course

Vegetables

Puddings

1...................... ...................... 2...................... ...................... 3....................... .......................

1......................... ......................... 2......................... ......................... 3......................... .........................

1....................... 2....................... 3........................

29

I Keep Butting In Every day we talk to each other when we are doing our work. I listen to things people say and I want to join in. So I often butt in to other people’s conversations. This annoys those people and they usually get cross with me. Then I get cross too. My teacher hears the argument and gets cross too. Then I get into trouble. This happens again and again. Why does this keep happening? Because I listen to other people’s conversations. When two people are talking it is private. This means it is just for them only. It is bad manners to butt in. I will try not to butt in to other people’s conversations. Then I will not get into trouble. Then they will not be angry with me. I will not be angry either.

30

I Keep Calling Out the Answers Every day my teacher asks us questions. She does this to make us think about things. We put our hand up if we know the answer. We wait until the teacher asks us to speak. Sometimes she asks me. Sometimes she doesn’t. But sometimes I shout out the answer. This is not fair. It stops other people from thinking. I will try to wait for the teacher to ask me. I will try not to call out the answer. This will help other people. This will be fair.

31

Nobody Takes My Things Everyone in my class has a pencil case. We keep our most important things in it, such as pencil, crayons, rubber, ruler. We all have the same equipment, but they don’t all look the same. Everybody knows which is theirs and which is mine. Nobody needs to take my things, but sometimes we may share them. The school rule says that we don’t take things without the owner’s permission. This means we can trust each other not to steal. So it is OK to leave my pencil case on my desk or in my tray. I will trust my friends not to take my things.

32

When I Meet People When we meet someone we say, ‘Hello.’ or, ‘Hi.’ If it is the first time we may shake hands. If it is someone we love, like Mum, we may have a hug. It feels good to hug someone if you love them. But if it is someone at school, they may be upset if you hug them or touch them. I will hug my mum, dad, sister or brother because I love them. But I will just say, ‘Hello,’ or ‘Hi,’ when I meet someone at school. I will try not to touch them. Then they will not be upset.

33

When I Say Hello or Goodbye Every day we say hello or goodbye to someone. Sometimes Mum or Dad kiss me goodbye, and I kiss them. Sometimes we give each other a hug. This is OK because we love each other. When we say goodbye to friends, we do not usually kiss or hug them. When we say goodbye to our teacher, we do not kiss or hug her, because she is not our mother and she is not a close friend. My teacher does not kiss or hug any of the children, even though she likes them. I will remember not to kiss or hug my teacher, or any of my friends.

34

I Like Looking Into My Friends’ Classrooms Sometimes when I am walking round the school I see someone I know in a classroom. I like to say hello to them. I like being friendly. I look through the window and pull funny faces. This makes all the people inside look at me. This makes the teacher cross because it interrupts his work. It stops the pupils from working. I will try not to look into people’s classrooms. I will walk straight past.

35

I Take Things That Don’t Belong to Me Everyone has things that belong to them, such as pens, clothes or toys. Sometimes a friend will let me use one of his things, such as a pen. This is called sharing, or borrowing. If my friend shares his things with me, I have to give them back afterwards. It is OK to share things with friends. Sometimes a friend has something I would like to have. If I ask him he might let me borrow it. Then I will return it afterwards. If I take it without asking, he will be upset. This is called STEALING. It is not OK to steal things. It upsets people. I will try not to take things that are not mine. I will remember to ask if I can borrow them. I will remember to return it afterwards. Then nobody will be upset.

36

Why Do People Praise Me? Sometimes when I do good work, a friend or a teacher might tell me so. They might say,

‘Well done.’

or

‘That’s good.’

or

‘I like that.’

They say these things to make me feel good. This is called praise. They are praising me for doing well. When people praise me they are being kind to me. If I smile and say thank you, it makes them feel better too. This is called courtesy. Courtesy is the same as good manners. When somebody praises me I will try to show good manners. I will smile and say thank you. Then both of us will feel good.

Well Done!

37

I Like to Play with One Thing All the Time Every day we play in the playground. We play with ..................... and ..................... (name the things). These things belong to everyone. We all share them. Sometimes I like to play with one thing for a long time. When I do that, it stops somebody else from playing with it. Sometimes a friend might ask to play with it too. Sometimes I might ask a friend to share their toy. It is OK to do this. The toys do not belong to me. They belong to everyone. I will try to share the toys with my friends. I will try not to get cross if I cannot get the toy I want.

38

Taking My Clothes Off Every week in school we do PE or games. We have to change our clothes to do this. Every day at home we change our clothes too, when we have a bath or shower, or go to bed. When I am at home I can go all over the house wearing very few clothes. Sometimes I wear no clothes. This is OK because my parents are used to seeing my body, since I was a baby. Other people may not like to see me like this. They can be embarrassed. Brothers or sisters or visitors can be embarrassed. It makes them feel awkward or uncomfortable. When I get undressed at school, lots of children may be embarrassed if I take my clothes off and run around. I will try not to run around with no clothes on. I will try not to embarrass my friends or family.

39

Sharing the Toys When I have done my work, sometimes I play with the toys. I like to get lots of toys around me. They are ................... and ................... and ............................. The toys are in the classroom for everyone to use. They belong to everyone. Anyone can play with any toy. Sometimes another child comes along and wants to play with one of the toys I am playing with. This is OK. When this happens, sometimes I get cross. When someone wants to play with a toy, they might say, ‘Can I play with this, please?’ Then I will say, ‘Yes, OK’ The toys belong to all of us. I will try not to get cross when somebody wants to play with one.

TOYS

40

I Like Throwing Things Every day we go out to play. Some children play together. Some play by themselves. Some children play with balls or bean bags. They throw and catch the ball. It is OK to throw a ball to a friend, to catch or kick. It is not OK to throw a ball AT a friend. They might get hurt. Things we can throw:

Things we can’t throw: Stones

Balls

rocks Bean bags

Dirt

If I throw stones, rocks or dirt at people they might get hurt. This would not be fair or safe. I will remember to throw only balls or bean bags. I will throw them to an adult or a friend to catch. This is OK. This is fair. This is safe.

41

Bricks

mud

I Want to Do It My Way Every day my teacher gives us work to do. Sometimes we work by ourselves. Sometimes we work in pairs or groups. When I work alone I work things out by myself. When we work in pairs or groups, it is different to working alone. When I work in a group or pair I have to listen to other people’s ideas. When we have listened to everybody’s ideas we decide which is the best one to work on. Then we cooperate and work on that idea together. Sometimes I think my idea is the best. I want to make the others follow my idea. But if I do this it may upset them. This is not fair. I will try to listen to everyone’s ideas. Then I will go along with the choice that is made. Sometimes it will be mine, sometimes not. I will work together with the others. 1. Ja ke This will be fair to everyone.

2. Je ss ic a

3. Abdu l 4. Th om as 5. Jam al 6. Po ppy 7. Alexei

42

When I Go Home From School Every day at home time I walk home with my mum. I have tea at my house. My friend India goes home to her house with her mum. She has tea at her house. Sometimes India’s mum is busy. She asks my mum to take India to our house. Then we both have tea at my house. This make me happy because India is my friend. Sometimes I get cross if India is not coming to my house. This makes Mum feel sad. It makes India feel sad. I don’t want India to feel sad because she is my friend. I will try to be happy when I go to my house and India goes to her house. Then it will be a special treat when she comes to my house.

43

I Don’t Like That Teacher Every day we do work for different teachers. Some teachers I like and some I don’t. But we have to work the same for all the teachers. This is part of our agreement with school. The teachers try to work with all the pupils in the room. Some pupils they like and some they don’t. But they try to work the same for all the pupils. This is part of their agreement with school. This makes it fair for all the pupils. I will try to keep to the agreement. I will try to work with all the teachers just the same, the ones I like and the ones I don’t like. This makes it fair for all the teachers.

44

Sometimes I Sit Too Close Every day my teacher gives us work to do. Sometimes we sit at a table. Sometimes we sit on the carpet When we sit next to each other, we sit in our own space, so our bodies don’t touch. If I sit too close to a friend, it makes them feel uncomfortable. If we sit nicely we all feel comfortable. Then we can listen well and the teacher will be pleased. I will try to sit nicely in my own space. I will try not to touch other children. Then we will all feel comfortable. Then my teacher will be pleased.

45

Good Touching and Bad Touching This is a suggested list. You and the child need to make your own list together.

School list: Good touching

Bad touching

Hold hands Hugging Link arms

Hitting Nipping Kicking Scratching Stroking Kissing

At home list:

Good touching

Bad touching

Hold hands Hugging Kissing Stroking

Hitting Nipping Kicking Scratching

I will try not to ................... in school.

46

Why I Do... Hitting, Nipping, Squeezing and Scratching Sometimes when we are playing or working things go wrong. Somebody gets in my way or takes something from me. This makes me feel angry or scared. When I am angry or scared I feel like hitting someone. Sometimes I nip or squeeze or scratch or kick someone. When I do this, it makes that person very upset or frightened. Then I get into trouble. The school rules say that we keep our hands and feet to ourselves. We do not hit or squeeze or nip or scratch or kick people. If I get angry I have to calm down. To calm down I can walk away and sit down somewhere. When I am calm I can talk to the person who upset me. Or I can tell a teacher what happened. If I get angry I will try to walk away and calm down. I will try not to touch anyone. I will talk about it later.

47

I Miss My Grandad Every week I go to see my grandad. Sometimes he comes to my house. We do nice things together, like ...................... I like my grandad. Now Grandad is poorly. He is so poorly that he has gone to hospital for a while. The doctors and nurses are looking after him there. My mum goes to visit him in hospital every day. Sometimes she is not at home when I come home from school. When she is not at home, ..................................... will be there to look after me. I will be alright.

48

Anger Management I Need to Have Time Out Sometimes I Get Told Off Swearing I Get Mad When I Make a Mistake Why We Have Traffic Lights I Get Cross When I Don’t Want to Do It When the Lights Go Out I Get Angry When I Am Told Off Wet Playtime I Get Mad When I Lose I Hate Losing

3

I Need to Have Time Out Sometimes I get angry. When I get angry I will get my cooling off card. I will show it to my teacher. Then I will go straight to Reception for my cooling off time. I must show my card to the staff in Reception office. I will sit down quietly. When I have calmed down I will go straight back to my class. I will put my card on the teacher’s desk. Everything is alright now. I can continue with my work.

!**!?

@!!**

50

Sometimes I Get Told Off Sometimes I don’t feel like working. I day dream, I forget what I am doing. Then Mr ................... tells me off. If I still don’t get on with my work, he will tell me off again. Then I may get upset. What should I do when I am told off?

(put a ring round the right answers)

1. Cry.

2. Kick the door down.

3. Ask for help.

4. Say sorry.

SORRY!

5. Get on with my work.

51

Swearing Everybody says bad words sometimes. Sometimes I hear my brother say bad words. Sometimes I hear my friends say bad words. We call this swearing. We say bad words when we are cross or having an argument. When we say them it makes us feel better. It gets the anger out of us. But some people feel uncomfortable when they hear people swearing. It hurts their feelings. Most grown ups don’t like it when we say bad words. I will try not to say bad words to these people: • My mum and dad • My teacher • Mr .................... Then I will not hurt their feelings. These are some bad words I know. 1. 2.

!**!?@!!**

3. 4. 5. 6.

52

I Get Mad When I Make a Mistake!

Every day I do work for my teacher. When I do my work I like to get it right. Sometimes I might make a mistake. Then I get mad. Everyone makes mistakes. It is part of learning. My teacher doesn’t mind if I make a mistake. If I correct it neatly it will be alright. When I have corrected it I can carry on with the work. I will try to correct my mistakes neatly. I will not get mad. Then I will carry on with my work.

mmi si sttaakkee mmi si sttaakkee mmi si sttaakkee 53

Why We Have Traffic Lights When I go out in the car with Mum and Dad I like it to go fast and keep moving. Sometimes we have to stop at traffic lights and I get mad. There are hundreds of roads and lots of them cross over each other. Some drivers go one way and some go another. If there were no traffic lights lots of cars might bump into each other. Lots of people might get hurt. The traffic lights make people take turns to cross over, so they don’t get hurt. Traffic lights make it safe for me and Mum and Dad. I will try not to get cross when we stop at red lights. Then Mum and Dad will be pleased. We will all be safe and not have to go to hospital.

54

I Get Cross When I Don’t Want to Do It Every day my teacher gives us things to do. Some things we like doing, and some we don’t. Sometimes I don’t want to do it. I get cross. Or I get worried. This makes my teacher unhappy. It makes my assistant unhappy. If I get cross my teacher will tell me to go outside to calm down. She may take my arm and move me out of the room. She may ask another person to help her. This makes it better for all the children. I will try not to get cross when I am asked to do something. I will stay calm. This will make her happy. I will be happy too.

55

When the Lights Go Out Sometimes in lessons we have different lighting. This happens suddenly. I don’t always know when this will happen. Sometimes the other pupils get a bit noisy. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

These are some of the times when it happens. 1. When the teacher uses an overhead projector. 2. When they use Power Point. 3. When they use the interactive whiteboard. 4. When we watch a video or film. 5. When we watch a play or some music.

This is what I can do when the lights change. 1. Count slowly to thirty till I feel calm. 2. Go and sit next to my assistant. 3. Show my help card and leave the room until I feel better.

56

I Get Angry When I Am Told Off In this school we have rules. The rules are there to help everyone equally. We agree to stick to the rules, so it is fair for all the teachers and children. Sometimes I break a rule or I do a bad piece of work. Then the rules allow the teacher to tell me off. If I am told off, sometimes I get angry. I want to argue with the teacher. If I argue with a teacher I am breaking a rule. I will try not to get cross when I am told off. I will try not to argue with the teacher.

57

Wet Playtime Every day we have playtime. I like to go out and run around. I like to go out at the same time every day. But sometimes it rains or snows. Then we all stay indoors. We stay indoors and play with toys or games. We don’t know when the rain will come. Sometimes I get upset when we can’t go out. Nobody else gets upset. They all play indoors. When the rain stops we can all go outside again. I will try not to get upset when it rains. I will play indoors with my friends.

58

I Get Mad When I Lose When we play a game with our friends, sometimes we may win and sometimes we may lose. Everybody has to win sometimes and to lose sometimes. When I was a little boy I used to get mad every time things went wrong for me. If I lost a game I would get very angry and have a tantrum. This made my mum and my teacher unhappy. Now I am older I know that sometimes things will not go my way. I may lose or I may win. This is what I can do. Which is the best? (tick) 1. Get angry. 2. Sulk. 3. Run away. 4. Get calm by myself. 5. Come back when I am feeling better. 6. Say sorry if I upset someone. 7. Laugh about it. 8. Forget it.

59

I Hate Losing I play games with my friends, indoor ones and outdoor ones. We play games to have fun, to get fit and to learn to work together. In some games we try to be the winner, or to be in the winning team. This means that someone is the winner and someone is the loser. I will not win every time. If I win, or my team wins, it makes me feel good. If I make a big fuss about winning, it makes the loser feel bad. If I lose I don’t feel so good and sometimes I get angry. If I make a big fuss about losing, it makes everyone feel bad. I will try not to get mad about losing. I will try to remember the fun we had. Then everyone will feel happy.

60

I Have to Work with Different Assistants Why Do I Assistants help Me? My Assistant Helps Other People Too What Happens When my Assistant is Away? Why Do I Do Different Work from Other People? I Don’t Like Being Helped I Can Ask for Help I Can’t Do It! I Don’t Like Doing Different Work I Like to Finish My Work Working by Myself I Get Worried When I Don’t Understand Things

Work I Am Worried About Tests I Don’t Want to Stop Working I Like to Hide My Work How Much Do I Have to Do? My Teacher Asks Lots of Questions I Like to Do Pictures Sometimes I Don’t Like the Work Why Do I Have to Do School Work at Home? Why Do I Have to Finish Work at Home? Who Helps Me with My Homework?

4

I Have to Work With Different Assistants Every day we have lessons with Mrs .................... In every lesson she gives us work to do. Sometimes I don’t understand what I have to do. Assistant 1 and Assistant 2’s job is to help people who do not understand. Sometimes my teacher asks Assistant 1 to help me. Sometimes she asks Assistant 2. I only like working with Assistant 1. When they help me it is because my teacher wants me to do good work. I will try to work nicely with both Assistant 1 and also Assistant 2.

62

Why Do Assistants Help Me? Every day we do work for different teachers. In some lessons the teachers have assistants. The assistants help some people to keep up with their work. Sometimes they help me to write things down. That is what the teacher wants. It helps me to do more work. This makes it better for the teacher. It helps me to get better marks. When an assistant offers to write things down for me I will try not to get cross. I will say, ‘Thank you, that’s OK.’ This will make it better for me, the assistant and the teacher.

THANK YOU!

63

My Assistant Helps Other People Too Every day we do our work. Mrs .................... and Mrs .................... help me with my work. Sometimes there are other children sitting at the same table. Sometimes they need help. They might ask Mrs .................... to help them. If they ask her she will help them. She can help me and the other children. Sometimes I have to work by myself. When Mrs .................... helps other children I will try to work quietly on my own. I will try not to get cross.

64

What Happens When My Assistant is Away?

l lL En an gl an e GB d 2Z ZZ

My assistant is called .................... She is there to help me in the classroom and also in the playground. Sometimes people get poorly, or go on courses or on holiday. Mrs .................... will be away from school next week. I will have to work by myself most of the time. This means my teacher will be extra busy, without an extra person to help. It means I will have to try harder to work well and to be good in the playground.

Wish y ou wer e he re!

ho o

Sc

My

Sc

ho o

This is what I can do. 1. I will come in and get my work ready when Mrs .................... tells me to. 2. I will finish and tidy up when everyone else does. 3. I will play nicely with my friends or by myself. 4. If I am feeling angry I will come in and sit quietly or go to a quiet part of the playground. 5. When I am feeling better I will come in quietly and sit down and carry on with my work. 6. ................................................................................ 7. ................................................................................. After the half term holiday, my assistant will be back. 65

Why Do I Do Different Work From Other People? Every day I do work for my teacher. Everyone does the same work each week. Sometimes I work by myself and sometimes with my assistant. My assistant is called .................... Sometimes I do different work by myself. This might be in the shared area outside the classroom. It is OK to do different work. At the end of the week we have all done the same work, but not all at the same time. If my teacher asks me to work outside, I will do that. If she wants me to do different work, I will do that. I will try not to make a fuss.

GOLD STAR!

66

I Don’t Like Being Helped Some pupils work very fast without help. Some pupils work a bit slower and need help. I often need help with my work. But I try to pretend I don’t need help. Sometimes I feel embarrassed about having help. It makes me feel different from my friends. Then I get behind with my work. The teachers know which pupils need more help. They have assistants whose job it is to help pupils. It is OK to have help when I need it. It is OK to be different. Everyone has different ability. I will try to ask for help when I need it. I will accept help when it is offered. Then I will be able to keep up with the work.

assis tant 67

I Can Ask for Help Every day I do work for my teacher. I always try my best. But sometimes I get stuck. There are things I don’t know how to do. I get worried and I stop working. Everyone gets stuck some of the time. This is OK. It is not a problem because I can ask a friend or an adult for help. I can put my hand up and someone will come to help me. I will remember to ask for help when I get stuck. I will put my hand up. When someone comes I will say, “Could you help me with this please?” Then they will help me. I will feel better.

68

!**!?@

!!**

!!*

Every day we do work for our teacher. Some days it is easy work. Some days it is hard.

*

I Can’t Do It!

?@

When we do something new I think it is hard. It makes me cross, because I think I can’t do it. Then I don’t want to work.

*!

The teacher gives us new things to do so that we will learn more. My teacher knows I can do it if I think about it, and try it a few times. When we have done it a few times it gets easier. I will try not to get cross when I have new work. I will stay calm and think about it. I will keep trying till I get it right. Then my teacher will be pleased.

!*

!**!?@

!*!*!!*?*@!!**

@ !?

* * !

!!**

69

I Don’t Like Doing Different Work Every day we do different work. We all work at different speeds. We all have different ability. Some of us need extra help. Sometimes we go to a different room to have this. My teacher knows we cannot all do the same thing at the same time. This would be boring for some and too hard for others. My teacher organises it so that everyone has done the same work by the end of the week. But we do it at different times, in different places, with different assistants. This is OK. I don’t like doing work in different places. Sometimes it makes me angry. But if I do this it makes it easier for the teacher. It makes it easier for the other children. It makes it easier for the assistants. I will try to do the work I am asked to do. I will try not to get angry. This will help my teacher. It will make it fair on everyone.

70

excercise bo ok

I Like to Finish My Work Every day we do work for our teacher. She tells us when to start and when to stop. Everyone works at different speeds. So when the teacher says stop, some people have finished, but others have not. This is OK. She will give us time to finish later. Sometimes I am not ready to stop. I want to go on working. This makes it hard for the teacher. It means everyone has to wait. This is not OK. This is not fair. I will try to stop working when the teacher says STOP. I will try not to get angry. I will finish the work later. This will not hold up the others. This will be fair.

STOP 71

Working by Myself When we do our work, sometimes Mrs .................................. helps me. She shows me what to do and I do it. When she goes to help someone else, sometimes I stop working. This is not OK. Mrs ................................ uses a timer. When she gives me the work she starts the timer. I must work till the timer stops. Mrs ................................ can help someone else while I am working. When she comes back I will have finished. I will try to keep working while the timer is on. Then I will get more work done. Mrs ................................ will be pleased.

72

I Get Worried When I Don’t Understand Things When I do my work, sometimes there is a bit that I don’t understand. I might get cross or worried. Sometimes I stop work because I don’t know what to do. Everybody in my class has a problem from time to time. This is what I can do to sort it out. 1. I can put my hand up. Then my teacher or one of my assistants will come to help me. 2. I can leave that problem for a bit and go on to the next question. It is OK to do this. 3. I can come back to the problem later then put my hand up for help. I will try not to get cross or unhappy when I have a problem. I will share it with my teacher or assistant or a friend. Then I will feel better.

73

I Am Worried About Tests Everyone in my class has to do tests. Tests help the school to know how well we have learnt our work. Some children find it hard to do tests because they are worried about them. I get worried thinking about tests. When I get worried I can’t do my work properly. When I am worried it makes me angry and I can’t think properly. I know I can do the work. My teacher knows I can do the work. I just can’t do it in a timed test at the same time as everyone else. My teacher says it will be OK for me not to do the tests. She knows I can do the work. She will send my work on to the next school, so they know I can do the work. Then I will not be worried.

TEST

74

I Don’t Want to Stop Working

Every day my teacher gives us work to do. She decides when the work begins and when it finishes. Some of us work fast and some more slowly. Sometimes I haven’t finished when the teacher wants us to move on. This means the other children have to wait for me. I like to do my work very carefully. This is OK. If the others have to wait for me this is NOT OK. I will try to stop when the teacher says stop. I can finish my work later. This will be OK. This will make it easier for the teacher and for the other children.

75

I Like to Hide My Work Every day I do work for my teacher. Usually everyone does the same work. Sometimes I do it well. Sometimes I make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Sometimes it helps to look at someone else’s work. They might be able to help me. I might be able to help them. It is OK to share our work and talk about it. Lots of people learn better that way. If I hide my work no-one can share it. I will try to share my work with my friends. I will try to stop hiding my work. excercise bo ok

76

How Much Do I Have to Do? Most days I have to do homework. This is part of my agreement with school. We agree to do homework because: it teaches us to work independently it gives us more practice in some work. Teachers expect us to do 20 to 30 minutes on each subject. They know we need some time to ourselves. Sometimes I can’t finish the work in 30 minutes. It might be too difficult. It is OK to stop after 30 minutes. I can tell the teacher. He will mark the work that I did in 30 minutes. I will not be in trouble.

Then I will have more time to myself.

77

?

My Teacher Asks Lots of Questions My teacher asks lots of questions. She does this to make us think. We put our hand up when we want to answer. She asks one person for the answer.

Everyone listens to the answer. When we listen to the question and the answer, we learn a bit more about our work. Sometimes I put my hand up to answer. Sometimes she asks me to give my answer. Then I forget to listen to the other questions. If I stop listening, I won’t learn as much as the other children. I will try to listen to all the questions and all the answers. I will look at the person who is giving an answer.

?

Then I will learn more.

78

I Like to Do Pictures Every day I do work for my teacher. Some work is writing some work is pictures. When I was in the infants I did pictures every day, and took them home to show my mum. But in junior and senior school we do not have to take pictures home. All our work goes in our books and we keep it in our tray. When my mum comes to school she can see my books if she wants to. I will only do pictures when my teacher asks me. Then I will put it in my book and keep it at school, in my tray.

79

Sometimes I Don’t Like the Work Every day I do work for my teacher. She asks me to do work because it helps me to learn. Sometimes she asks Mrs ........................... to help me. Some jobs I like doing, and some I don’t. When I don’t like it I stop working. Then Mrs ............................. can’t help me. This makes her unhappy. Everyone likes some things better than other things. But they all do the work anyway. I will try to do all the work just the same, even when I don’t like it. Then my teacher and Mrs .......................... will be happy. Then I will be able to learn everything.

80

Why Do I Have to Do School Work at Home? Every day my teacher gives us work to do. The assistant helps me to do my work. Sometimes we have to do work at home as well, such as learning spellings, and... Everyone does school work at home. It saves time for Mrs ............................. And it helps me to do better work in school. I will practice my spellings at home with my mum. Then I will do better work in school. Then my teacher and the assistant will be pleased.

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Why Do I Have to Finish Work at Home? Every day we do our work in school. My teacher always gives me work that she knows I can do. We always try to finish our work. But sometimes I don’t feel like working. Sometimes I am thinking about something else. Then I don’t finish my work. Then my teacher might say, ‘Finish your work at playtime,’ or, ‘Finish your work at home.’ Then I have to do the work at playtime or when I get home. Everyone has to do this if they don’t finish their work in the lesson. I will try to finish my work in lesson time. Then I will not have to do it at home. But if I do not finish it, I will do it at home. Then I will be ready to start the next piece of work next day.

homework bo ok

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Who Helps Me With My Homework? Every day I do work for my teacher. He sets the work and asks an assistant to do it with me. My assistant is called ............................... Sometimes my teacher wants us to do work at home, because there isn’t time to do it all in school. If I do the work at home, it helps me to get on better with the work in school. If I don’t do the work at home, I will get behind with my work at school. When I work at home my mum/ dad/ brother helps me. My teacher wants me to work with my mum the same way I work for my assistant at school. The work she gives me is always something she knows I can do. I will try to work hard with my mum, the same as I do with my assistant.

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Games and PE I Need to Get Fitter Why Do We Do Warm-ups? Long Jump I Want to Carry the Ball

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I Need to Get Fitter Every week we do PE or games. Every day we run around the playground. This makes us fit and healthy. When I do this I get tired and out of breath. I have to stop for a rest. This is because I have too much fat on my body. If I eat too many things that are not good for me it makes my body fatter. Then I can’t keep up with the other children. If I eat more things that are good for me I get thinner and fitter. If I get thinner and fitter I can keep up with the other children. I will not get out of breath. I will try to eat food that makes me fit. I will try not to eat food that makes me fat.

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Why Do We Do Warm-ups? When we do P.E. we do warm-ups. This is because our muscles might be damaged if we go straight into action. This could be painful. In warming-up we stretch the muscles gradually, get the blood circulating and the heart pumping. Then when we start the activity our muscles are ready to work. The teacher has to do this, because he has a duty of care towards the children. He has to make sure that no one is harmed. I will try to do the warm-ups with everyone else. Then my muscles will not get damaged. I will be ready for action.

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Long Jump Long jump is an activity in athletics. It has special skills – sprinting, jumping and landing. We try to combine these skills, so as to increase the distance a person can jump. Each time you try to increase the amount of your last jump. 1. Sprint towards the long jump (run very fast). 2. Take off from the launch pad on one foot. 3. Point both legs forward. 4. Land on two feet. 5. The point where your heels land marks the length of your jump. 6. The length is the distance from the launch pad to where your heels land. 7. You might have two or three jumps. The longest jump is marked as your best. 8. Next time you try to make it longer.

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I Want to Carry the Ball Every day we go out to play, except when it rains. We have balls, bats and beanbags to play with together. There are not enough balls for everyone, so we have to share. The balls belong to everyone. We share a ball by playing a game together. Sometimes I get to carry a ball outside, sometimes not. If I carry a ball I will share it with other children. If I don’t carry a ball, I will share in somebody’s game. I will not get cross if there are no balls left. I will not take a ball from anyone else. I will share it with other children.

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Index Asking for help ............................ 68,73 Assistants .................. 62,63,64,65,67,83 Bad breath ............................................ 12 Balls ........................................................ 89 Bodily functions ......................6,7,8,9,10 Body noises ............................................ 9 Body space ...................................... 28,45 Bottom wiping ............................... 14,15 Breaking wind......................................... 9 Burping .................................................... 9 Butting in ............................................... 30 Calling out............................................. 31 Car.......................................................... 20 Change of routine ............................... 70 Clean clothes ....................................... 12 Clothes ............................................ 12,39 Dressing, undressing ..................... 17,39 Eating fads ............................................. 29 ETAs (teaching assistants) ..................... ............................ 8,62,63,64,65,67,83,85 Family car .............................................. 20 Farting ...................................................... 9 Fatness ................................................... 86 Fitness .................................................... 86 Food ................................................. 11,29 Food fads............................................... 29 Friendship ............................ 25,26,27,43 Games ..............................85,86,87,88,89 Germs (spitting) .................................... 7 Granddad .............................................. 48 Greeting .......................................... 33,34 Group work ......................................... 42 Hair, combing........................................ 12 Hands up ............................................... 68 Help ................. 62,63,64,65,67,68,73,83 Hiding work .......................................... 76 Hitting .................................................... 47 Home time ........................................... 43 Homework .......................... 77,81,82,83 Hugging ............................................ 33,34

Hygiene...............................................7,12 Illness ..................................................... 48 Interrupting..................................... 30,31 Kicking ............................................. 46,47 Kissing .................................................... 34 Lights ...................................................... 56 Likes, dislikes ........................................ 44 Lining up .....................................21,22,23 Listening ................................................ 78 Long jump ............................................. 88 Losing ............................................... 59,60 LSAs (support assistants) ....................... ..................................... 62,63,64,65,67,83 Lunch time ............................................ 21 Masturbation ........................................ 13 Meals ................................................ 21,29 Meeting people .................................... 33 Mistakes ................................................. 53 Mucking about ..................................... 35 Nakedness ...................................... 17,39 Nappies.................................................. 16 Nipping .................................................. 47 Oranges ................................................. 11 P.E...................................... 85,86,87,88,89 Pencil case ............................................. 32 Personal space ............................... 28,45 Pictures .................................................. 79 Play ........................................ 24,27,38,58 Praise ..................................................... 37 Private parts ......................................... 13 Questions ............................................. 78 Queuing ........................................... 21,22 Refusal ............................................. 51,55 Routine, change ................................... 70 Rules....................................................... 57 Scratching.............................................. 47 Sharing .................................. 38,40,42,89 Sitting ..........................................23,28,45 Sneezing................................................... 8 Soiling ............................................... 15,16 Spitting ..................................................... 7 90

Squeezing .............................................. 47 Standing ........................................... 22,23 Stealing............................................. 32,36 Stop work ............................................. 75 Swearing ................................................ 52 Tantrums ............................................... 51 Telling off ......................................... 51,57 Tests ....................................................... 74 Throwing ............................................... 41 Thumb sucking ....................................... 6 Tidiness ................................................. 12 Time out ............................................... 50 Tissues ..................................................... 8 Toileting ...........................14,15,16,17,18 Touching ............................... 33,34,45,46 Touching my body ............................... 13 Toys .................................................. 38,40 Traffic lights .......................................... 54 Warm-ups ............................................. 87 Washing ................................................. 12 Wet playtime ........................................ 58 Wiping my bottom ....................... 14,15 Working alone ............................... 66,72 Worry .........................................18,73,74 Writing .................................................. 10

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