eBooks are not transferable. They cannot be sold, shared or given away as it is an infringement on the copyright of this work. This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental. Samhain Publishing, Ltd. PO Box 2206 Stow OH 44224 Her Passion Copyright © 2006 by Denise Belinda McDonald Cover by Scott Carpenter ISBN: 1-59998-052-5 www.samhainpublishing.com All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. First Samhain Publishing, Ltd. electronic publication: March 2006
Her Passion Denise Belinda McDonald
Dedication To Alan and the boys, thanks for all the love and support. To the Rosebuds and TWW, specifically Sandy Jones and the Faulkners, y’all are always there for me, love you guys.
Her Passion
Chapter One “I’ll take another Jack and Coke.” Colleen Nance slapped a ten on the bar. The bartender’s eyebrow rose. “Shall I hold the coke again?” Colleen smiled at him. “You’re a good man.” He flashed a cocky grin as he set the full glass in front of her and casually slid the money from the bar. “Keep the change.” With a quick wink, he walked to the other end of the bar. Colleen sipped the amber liquid. Despite the burning in her throat, she shivered at the thought of looking at one banquet hall after another for the reception. A slight groan escaped her lips. She and Alyssia had viewed eight hotels over the past few weeks with the wedding less than a month away. She would have screamed if she looked at one more, empty banquet hall. But Colleen thanked the stars Alyssia found the room at Fort Worth’s Worthington hotel acceptable. And they had lucked out. Someone had cancelled the same weekend of the upcoming nuptials. “Banquet halls downtown are prime stock and hard to come by,” Alyssia had said with a huge grin when they put down a deposit. She remembered the hotel coordinator say with clear displeasure, “Why anyone would wait until the last minute to book…” Alyssia’s cheeks had lit to an odd shade of crimson but Colleen let it all pass—what did she care what an overpaid, clipboard-carrying froufrou thought? -5-
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At that point, Colleen was ready to suggest the reception party go to Chuck E. Cheese. They had plenty of seating, food, and drinks. She had suppressed a giggle and decided it best not to offer her ideas. And then, to top off the day from hell, Alyssia had abandoned her at the bar after only one drink when her fiancé had called. Thrown over for a man, Colleen sighed to herself. She nursed her third—or was it the fourth—drink and watched several men enter the bar. They sported nametags and cheap polyester jackets. She guessed they all belonged to the insurance convention in one of the ballrooms. Ignoring the open stares, she focused her attention back on her drink. Just my luck. A room full of middle-aged, balding insurance salesmen. What a night. *
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“Hey, Joel, come have a drink with us before you go home.” Frank Lambert stood next to the entrance into the Star Bar. He pulled at the corner of his nametag but never took his eyes off his friend. “I don’t know. I should probably get going.” Joel Burkhart wanted to go home. The idea of an evening in a bar with his colleagues made his gut churn. It only reminded him how his social life had dwindled. He would much rather wallow in singledom self-pity at home with Saturday Night Live on the boob tube. “You owe us, man. You skipped out on the tour of the stockyards and Billy Bob’s last night. You have to stay and have at least a couple of drinks with us.” “Frank, I grew up in Fort Worth. Do you know how many times I’ve seen the stockyards?” With a wry grin, Joel shook his head. “And I don’t like country music.” “Fine, whatever. But you have to stay for one drink.” Joel opened his mouth to decline then thought of his empty house. -6-
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“What the hell.” “Atta boy.” Frank pulled off his Oklahoma City stick-on nametag and smacked it over Joel’s. The heft of Frank’s punch knocked Joel back a few steps. With a defeated laugh, he caught up with Frank and they entered the bar together. Joel’s laughter faded into a groan. Nothing but conference attendees filled the bar. Wall-to-wall sales representatives. With one exception. The woman at the counter caught his attention and, he suspected, that of every other male in the room. A shiny green dress hugged her full curvy figure. Her rounded hips tapered up to a waist he wouldn’t mind getting his hands around. He liked a woman with a body. Not some pencil-thin waif who looked like she never ate. And even from his spot across the room, he saw the flawless ivory-skinned arms and shoulders. Skin that made his mouth water. Damn, he needed to get hold of himself and find a seat. But he was rooted in his spot while his eyes feasted on her. A mass of reddish-brown curls sat atop her head. He wondered what she looked like, what color her eyes were. Joel would bet anything that they sparkled not green as her dress but a deep sapphire blue. He didn’t know why he was so certain, but he’d have bet anything he was right. And already a man preyed upon her. But by the sullen look on his face, she’d shot him down flat. Joel chuckled to himself. She turned down Darryl Blackwood and his Casanova charisma. Joel couldn’t remember the last time a woman passed on the office playboy’s oozing charm. “Have a seat, Joel.” Steve Sullivan motioned to an empty chair across the table. Steve, Frank, and three other men from the Oklahoma City office surrounded the table. “Where the heck is that waitress?” Frank looked around the room. -7-
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“They’re too busy tonight. Someone will have to go to the bar for our drinks.” “I’ll go.” Joel practically jumped out of his seat. He took the men’s orders and waded through the crowd. Joel wanted to get a better look at the woman in green. He told himself he was only curious to know if he was right about her eyes. But there was something else, too, something about her that drew him. Joel’s eyes trained on the slim line of her neck and the few curls that had escaped the clip. The auburn tresses danced and swayed with her every move. He wondered how soft her hair would feel running through his fingers. His gut tightened with desire. She swiveled on her seat. He could almost see her. But someone stepped between them and blocked her from view. Darryl. Doesn’t he ever give up? Joel could hear Darryl’s slick come-ons. “Hey baby, have you had time to think over my proposition?” “What’s to think about?” Her voice was smooth and sexy. Damn, Darryl’s charm had worked. I walked over here for nothing. “I already told you I wasn’t interested.” All the honey and whiskey turned icy cold. “Now, please, for the last time, go away.” “Ha!” Joel mumbled under his breath. “Darryl doesn’t always get what he wants, after all.” A hard frown creased Darryl’s face and two red blotches tinted his cheeks. Accustomed to women jumping at the chance for a date with him— or so the rumors around the office proclaimed—Darryl turned slowly and walked away. “What is it with these guys? They see a woman sitting alone and can’t help but use tired old lines.” Her voice settled somewhere between honey and the icy shards she used on Darryl as she spoke to the bartender. But Joel found even her normal voice sexy as hell. “He thinks he’s too macho for words.” She and the bartender laughed. -8-
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“Can I help you, sir?” Joel jolted out of his trance. “Ah, yeah I need a, ah…” Joel’s mind went blank with the drink orders. Think fast man. “Two pitchers of beer.” Joel eased onto the stool. He turned his head, trying to get a better glimpse of the woman. All the while he chastised himself for acting like a damn fool. He couldn’t remember being that tongue-tied—at least not since high school. The woman must have felt his gaze because she tilted her head in Joel’s direction. As time and motion slowed, his mind flashed to high school with a niggling sense of déjà vu. The last female to put him in such a stupor was… Colleen Nance. Colleen’s lips quirked up on the side and her eyebrows rose slightly. As Joel stared, his chin all but fell to his chest. He had to force his mouth shut to return the smile. His mind reeled. Colleen Nance looked at him, the smile unwavering. And yes, her eyes were blue—not something you found often with the auburn hair rampant in her family. The same dynamic azure he remembered from high school. Her hair was darker though. Even after thirteen years, the power of his youthful lust hadn’t lessened one iota. He expected her to say something, anything. It had been a little over thirteen years since the fateful night of senior prom, thirteen years since either of them had seen one another at graduation. The smile slid from her face and she turned her attention back to her drink. He watched her shoulders rise and fall with a heavy sigh. Why isn’t she speaking to me? “How have…” “Here you go, sir.” The bartender sat the pitchers and several plastic cups down. “Thanks.” Joel pulled out two bills and handed them across the -9-
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counter. He moved his attention back to Colleen but she’d swiveled in her seat again and presented her back to him. I guess it’s been too many years. She must not want to rekindle high school memories. Disappointed, Joel hefted the pitchers and cups and walked back to the table then set the beer down. “Hey, man. What happened to our drinks?” “Huh? What?” Frank snapped his fingers in front of Joel’s face. “Earth to Joel. What happened to the drinks we wanted?” “The bar was busy so I just ordered a couple of pitchers.” The other men grumbled. “It’s on me.” “Hey, all right.” Frank slapped his palm on the table. “Drink up, men, Joel’s buying.” Joel sat in his chair with his eyes glued to Colleen. After so many years of fantasizing about her, she sat within twenty feet of him. And she didn’t say a damn word. “What’s got your attention?” Frank asked. “Oh, I see. A pretty redhead.” Joel turned to his friend. “I used to know her. We went to high school together.” “Why don’t you go talk to her?” Frank poured drinks into the cups and handed one to Joel. “She’s quite a looker. Darryl sure thinks so.” Joel saw Darryl lean up against Colleen and nearly knock her from the stool. She had a hand flat against his chest and appeared to push him back, but he was so much larger, stronger, that it had little effect. Joel watched as she got up from the stool and headed for the exit. Darryl trailed right behind her. What an ass. Why would he continue to bother her once she made it clear she wasn’t interested? Men like Darryl gave any decent guy a bad rep, Joel thought. -10-
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Colleen made her way through the crowd and reached the door. Darryl couldn’t be but a foot away from her. Then the crush of the crowd grew around the table and obscured the couple from view. Joel bolted to his feet. “I’ve gotta…” he started to say. “See ya tomorrow.” He pushed his way through the people. When he got out of the bar, he couldn’t see anyone but heard Darryl’s harsh voice. “You’ve been coming on to me all night.” “I don’t know what you’ve been drinking, but you’re hallucinating.” Joel ran in the direction of the voices. “I’m not hallucinating this.” Joel heard Colleen gasp. I’m going to kick your ass, Darryl. Joel rounded the corner to find Colleen up against the wall with Darryl’s hands pressed next to her shoulders. Darryl sneered down at the woman. Damn. “Darryl!” Joel grabbed the man’s collar and jerked him back. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” “What…you.” Darryl’s eyes narrowed into devilish slits as he shoved Joel aside. “Go away, man, I’m busy.” Joel pushed his way between the two, his body a shield for Colleen. “Leave her alone.” “Get out of the way.” Darryl fisted his hands on Joel’s shirtfront and pulled him up nose to nose. Hot bourbon breath assaulted Joel. “This has nothing to do with you. Go away.” “You’re drunk, Darryl.” Joel pushed Darryl’s hands away. “Back off, man. She can press charges the way you’re acting.” “No. That won’t be necessary.” Colleen touched Joel’s arm. “You just lucked out. Why don’t you go up to your room and sleep it off?” Joel never realized how much bigger Darryl was than he. He was a big -11-
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man, six foot two and just under two hundred pounds, but Darryl towered over him. Before he could decide how to defuse the situation, Colleen’s warm breath blew across his neck. Too damn distracted to think straight, he turned his head to look at her. Fear crinkled the corners of her eyes. All of a sudden, an explosion of color danced through Joel’s mind and he fell back against Colleen. Her arms came around his waist and held onto him. A burning pain radiated from his cheek. It took his mind a moment to clear and connect. Darryl hit him! Before Joel regained his feet, Darryl hit him again square in the nose. Colleen still held onto him, probably the only thing that kept him on his feet. “Oh, my. Oh, geez.” He heard her say when the bell in his ears silenced. “Get up. Here he comes again. Get up, please.” He fought to his feet and blocked Darryl’s next punch despite his rattled brain. “If you leave now, I won’t write you up for insubordination.” Joel didn’t want to get into a sparring match with Darryl. Hell, he wasn’t sure he would come out on top much less all in one piece. So he used the only tactic he had to scare off Darryl. “You know I’ve been itching to bust your ass back down the ranks, Darryl.” “You wouldn’t.” Darryl sounded truly indignant despite the alcohol induced slurring. “Try me.” Joel held his breath until Darryl finally turned, swore a colorful streak, and headed for the bank of elevators at the end of the hall. Joel’s shoulders sank with an exhaled breath. He nearly collapsed on the floor but he remembered Colleen. “Are you okay?” he asked even as he swayed on his feet. She held onto his arm to steady him. “I should ask you that. Oh gosh, your nose is bleeding.” Joel swiped at his nose. The crisp white cotton of his shirtsleeve came away soaked in dark red blood. -12-
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“Lean forward. You need to find something to cover it.” With his tie pinched to his nose, Joel stuck his hand in his pocket in hopes he might have a tissue. He didn’t. He only found the keycard to the empty suite on the tenth floor they’d used for meetings. “I can’t believe this.” Colleen dug in her handbag. “I don’t have a single tissue.” With his head tilted forward, he watched items fall to the beige carpet. Lipstick followed by a nail file and a roll of cherry Life Savors. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt her hand on his back. “I feel so bad. This is all my fault.” “Don’t be ridiculous. Darryl is an ass.” He heard her soft laugh. “Yeah, that would be putting it mildly.” Though his throat tightened with pain, he needed to keep talking to her. “You sure you don’t want to press charges?” “Positive. What about you? You probably have a decent case. I can be a witness if you decide to.” “No. Like you said, he’s drunk.” “Yep.” She removed her hand and bent to pick up her stuff off the floor. “Would you like me to help you up to your room?” “I’m not…” He started to tell Colleen he didn’t have a room in the hotel, but he stopped. The plastic keycard in his pocket taunted him. “I’m not sure I can find it myself. That would be great.” Colleen took him by the elbow and led him to the elevators. “What floor?” “Ten.” Despite the fact that she still held onto him, silence accompanied them on the ride. This unfortunately left Joel alone with his thoughts. What am I doing? I’m taking my high school crush up to an empty hotel room. The girl, now a woman, who watched a drunken Darryl Blackwood pulverize me. “Which way?” she asked as the doors slid open. -13-
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Joel motioned with his head and suddenly regretted the movement. His adrenaline waned and pain surged. He moaned and closed his eyes for a moment. Another bad choice. He swayed on his feet without his sight to help level his equilibrium. “Hang on.” She slid her arm around his waist. Okay, not such a bad choice. “We’re almost there.” Colleen’s sweet voice and warm touch pulsated through him. It stirred parts he didn’t think could be aroused after getting the shit beat out of him. “Can you tell me which room it is?” He cleared his thoughts, then his throat. “Ten twenty-four.” At the door, he pulled the keycard from his pocket and tried to insert it into the slot. His unsteady hand didn’t want to cooperate. “Let me.” Colleen’s fingers slid over his and helped guide the key into the door. Little jolts of electricity sparked through Joel’s hand and up his arm. He couldn’t stifle a moan. “Poor baby.” Her hand moved from Joel’s waist to his back. She ran her palm around in gentle circles. The door opened with a soft groan and she helped him cross the small living area and into the bedroom. “Here…” She moved past him and plumped the pillows up tall on the bed. She motioned him over. “Have a seat. And don’t lean your head back.” Colleen then disappeared into the bathroom. “Let’s switch this for your tie.” She returned with a white washcloth between her fingers. “I’m afraid your tie’s a goner.” “That’s okay. I never liked it much anyway.” Colleen laughed as she took his tie in her hand and tugged the knot loose. It was all he could do to contain himself when her fingers brushed his shirt. He cursed the layers of material that separated her from his bare chest. “Up.” She pulled his shoulders and brought him up against her breasts. -14-
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Joel relished the feel of her against him despite the pain in his head. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and snuggle her even closer. But as the thought entered his head, she slid the tie off then stepped back from the bed. “Straight into the garbage. Your shirt is ruined too, I’m afraid. I doubt it will ever be white again.” “Yeah.” He watched her walk to the other side of the room and drop the tie into the trash can. The sway of her hips mesmerized him but he fought to keep talking to her. “You know, most women would be disgusted.” “Pfft.” She waved her hand. “My brother has three boys. You get a strong stomach having them around for any length of time.” So ol’ Mikey has kids. I’d never have thought he would settle down. Three boys. I bet they’re a handful if they’re anything like their dad. Even two grades apart, he remembered their days on the football team. Mikey gave the coaches a run for their money. He wondered if their sister had any kids. He didn’t remember Sharon well. She was several grades behind them and he had been fixated on only one girl in high school. “Hang on.” She disappeared back into the bathroom again. Joel heard the water run as his thoughts raced through his mind. What now? What am I going to do? First, check your nose, he thought. He removed the cloth. Nothing oozed or dripped. But damn, it was sore as he probed the tender skin. Sore but not broken, thank goodness. His thoughts turned to the woman in the other room. Why is Colleen acting weird? Like she doesn’t even know me. Why? Thoughts fell over each other and jumbled in his mind. He laid his head back on the plump pillows, closed his eyes, and prayed for clarity.
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Chapter Two “I’ll be right back.” Colleen went in search of the ice bucket. She gathered up the few chunks of ice left in the bucket and wrapped them in the washcloth. When she returned to the bedroom, her hero sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed. He had removed the washcloth from his nose. No more blood, but boy, his nose had swelled. Gotta hurt like hell, she thought. She stood at the edge of the bed and fought to quell the urge to smooth back the jet-black hair that had fallen over his forehead. Silver tinted the temples. Most men as young as he looked would have been too vain to let the gray continue. But on him, it somehow worked with his dark tan skin, chiseled cheeks, and smooth full lips. Kissable, luscious lips, she thought. Need swirled. She shook her head. Keep your thoughts on his nose, not his lips. She sat beside him on the bed. He didn’t even stir. “You asleep?” He didn’t answer. Before she realized what she was doing, she ran her fingers carefully across the bruised cheek then into the hair at his temple. He’d been so brave to defend her from such a large man. With no thought to his own safety, he put his body between her and Godzilla. Why couldn’t she ever find a man like him? She quickly pulled her hand away and looked around the room as if someone may have caught her. She bit her lip then scolded herself for -16-
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acting so foolish. She was alone. Alone in a hotel room with a total stranger—she didn’t even know his name. And no one knew she was there. No one could help her. But oddly, she wasn’t worried. With him, she felt protected. She wasn’t sure how she knew not to be afraid. But there was such a strong air of familiarity that instantly put her at ease with him. And she also knew, with a gut instinct, he was genuinely a good guy. She looked back at him. “I hate to wake you but you need this more than you need sleep.” She set the cloth and ice on the bridge of his nose. His eyes jerked open. He grabbed her wrist and pushed it away from his face. Drips of water ran down her arm to her elbow and fell to the bed. Her earlier assessment flashed through her mind and mocked her. “Oh!” Colleen tried to free her wrist but he was too strong. “You’re awake. You’re starting to s…swell. Your right eye is puffing up.” She tried again to free her hand. “I brought ice. You need to put ice on it.” With his free hand, he felt his nose, winced then released her wrist. “Sorry, I guess I dozed off. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” The sudden concern in his eyes relieved the tension that built in her chest. “No. I’m f…fine.” Didn’t hurt me but scared the crap out of me, she thought. “Here this should help.” She handed him the makeshift icepack. “Thanks.” “I’m Colleen, by the way. Colleen Nance. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate what you did.” She reached out her hand and took his into a gentle shake. “That guy just wouldn’t take no for an answer. If you hadn’t come along…” She shivered, not wanting to think about what might have happened. “I don’t even know your name.” He looked confused for a moment. “Oh, Frank Lambert. From Oklahoma City.” She pointed to the nametag. He looked down at his chest with a frown. -17-
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“Are you okay, Frank? You might have a concussion or something.” She leaned forward and felt his forehead like that would tell her if he had a brain injury. “Maybe we should get you to a doctor.” “No. No, I’m fine.” He stared at her. And for the first time she saw his eyes—a crystal-clear blue like the waters off the Cayman Islands, with a few flecks of darker blue that danced around the irises. They were beautiful, if you could call a man’s eyes that. She hadn’t been able to see them before because of the struggle. Then Frank had covered his nose, and half his face, with his tie. Now his eyes watched her with such intense interest she wanted to squirm. He made her feel naked before him, but at the same time she saw a desire in his eyes that made her feel wanted—cherished even. And this by a stranger. “I, ah…” She needed to talk, to keep her mind off the fact she sat next to him on the bed. “So that guy, Darryl, works for you?” “Yeah, sort of.” “He’s not going to be difficult at work, is he?” “Not if he wants to keep his job. What I said was true. I’ve wanted to get rid of him for years. The guy is a first class jerk. Not to mention his inferiority complex.” A smile tipped the corner of his mouth. Colleen laughed and nodded at his sarcasm. “That was a really brave thing you did, you know?” “Yeah, getting my face bashed in, real heroic.” Colleen didn’t understand his dry tone. “It was brave.” She put her hand on his thigh. The strength surprised her and sent her yearning to four alarms. She cleared her throat as she removed her hand back to her lap. “You came to the rescue of a woman you don’t even know.” Frank got that strange look on his face again. “And you did it without resorting to violence like that big oaf.” “Hmm. I guess.” “Would you stop being so modest?” Gosh, what is it with this guy? He’s -18-
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the most reluctant hero. She narrowed her eyes and motioned to his face. “How does it feel now?” Frank removed the ice and touched his nose. “Swelling’s gone down some.” Colleen leaned forward and reached for the bruised area. “Do you mind?” He shook his head and she gently patted his nose. His skin chilled her fingers despite the jolts of electricity that ran up her arm. The awareness in his eyes caught her breath in her throat. She swallowed a lump and pulled her mind back to his injury. She was happy to note it didn’t feel too puffy. Frank wrapped his fingers around her wrist again. She sat far too close to him, on a bed, and he was far too gorgeous. The swarm of desire low in her belly petrified her. “S…sorry was I hurting you?” “No,” he said. His eyes searched her face for something. “O…okay.” She leaned back a scant inch. She didn’t want to move away from him though. “Well. I guess I better…” “Would you like a drink?” He interrupted her and finally released her hand. “There’s wine or something stronger in the mini-bar.” It took a moment to shift mental gears. “Sure, that would be nice.” What am I saying? I should leave. But she couldn’t find the strength to go. She wanted to be near this man for a bit longer. She helped him from the bed then followed him into the living room in search of the mini-bar. Again, she scolded herself when her eyes wandered the length of his back and rested on his nice, round buttocks. She couldn’t help but look. Even through the thin cotton slacks, she could see the muscles bunch and flex with each step. Her mouth suddenly dry, she was in desperate need of that drink. “What’ll you have?” he asked then named off several choices. “White wine, please.” She sat in a club chair across from the sofa. Frank poured her a glass and handed it to her. For himself, he poured -19-
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a straight Jack Daniels. Then he sat on the sofa. The man’s gaze stayed on her mouth as she raised the glass and took a drink. His Adam’s apple bobbed and his eyes widened slightly. When his lips parted, his breath seemed to hang as if she performed for him. A mischievous spark ignited in her. She didn’t want to disappoint the man. Colleen licked the moisture from her lower lip with a slow sweep of her tongue. The man’s eyes darkened and he shifted his position. Never before could she have imagined a glass of wine as sensuous, but the look that crossed his face told her differently. He wanted her. And that thought appealed to her. But she didn’t know how to play the game and had few skills in the mystery of male-female dynamics. She’d never mastered the art of flirting, never learned how to interact with the opposite sex. Frank didn’t seem to notice. He watched her with want clearly etched on his beautiful face. Afraid she might get in over her head, she decided to lessen the tension in the room. “You know you sure do keep a tidy room for a man.” He coughed, choking on his drink. Colleen jumped up from the chair and spilled wine down her dress. She pounded on Frank’s back. “Are you all right?” “Yeah.” He sounded raspy, but at least he could speak. “Went down…. the wrong…pipe. I’m okay…you can stop…hitting me now.” “Oh. Sorry.” She took a step away. Their knees brushed. Another spark of electricity rocketed through her system. “Look at your dress.” Frank tugged at the wet hem. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll dry—eventually.” Wine dripped down her legs and settled in the toes of her cheap, knockoff Gucci pumps. Colleen kicked out of the four inch heels and sank down at the opposite end of the sofa. “You’re not going to insist I take the dress off right away so the stain won’t set?” She tried to make her smile casual. But the truth was, the idea excited her. “I…hadn’t thought about it. That would sound pretty dumb now -20-
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though, huh?” Despite herself, Colleen laughed. Frank wasn’t like most of the men she knew. Most, if not all, would have thrown out one tired line after another. Especially with wine soaked down the front of her dress. Frank had her alone in his room and hadn’t tried anything—even once. And for some unknown reason that irked her. “So what do you do when you’re not a knight in shining armor rescuing damsels in distress?” She wanted to know more about him. “I’m an Actuarial Analyst for Kincaid Insurance Group.” “You’re an insurance salesman?” Could she pick them or what? Wait a minute, she didn’t pick him. Rather, he picked her, er, that wasn’t it either. Fate had picked them. “Not exactly.” He broke her internal dialogue. “I conduct rate reviews and analysis for internal management, in the southwest region.” “Sorry, did my eyes just glaze over?” Colleen swatted his arm. “I’m just kidding. Sounds interesting even though I didn’t understand a word you said.” Straight white teeth shone as a huge grin split his mouth and Colleen’s world tilted. His entire face lit up, his eyes sparkled despite the bruising and swelling. The man was gorgeous. Whoa, another smile like that and I’m a goner. “What do you do, Colleen?” He thankfully turned down the wattage of his smile, but even the lower wattage packed a wallop. “Huh? Me?” Stay on track. “I’m a travel agent.” “Hmm, sounds interesting,” he said, his voice dull. Colleen looked at Frank. His smile widened again. “You’re teasing me.” She nudged his arm. “It’s a pretty cool job. I’ve been just about everywhere in the world. Seen all the sites.” Colleen shivered. The cool air of the room coupled with her wet dress gave her a chill. “Are you cold? Let me get you something.” -21-
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Frank got up from the sofa then stopped in the middle of the room as if he didn’t know where he was. Then he disappeared into the bedroom only to return a minute later with a huge terrycloth robe. Colleen stood when he stopped in front of her. He towered over her in her bare feet, by at least ten or eleven inches. Over six feet of gorgeous male dwarfed her. But he didn’t intimidate her. And the brilliant bruises that colored his face added to the male mystique he exuded. The muscles in his arms rippled as he fidgeted with the robe. She wondered why he hadn’t used force to stand up to badass Darryl. Frank, surely strong enough to take Darryl, had used his brain to defuse the situation despite that man’s fist in his face. Her respect for him grew tenfold. She shivered again as the wet dress clung to her. “You’re freezing. Come here.” It took little effort for him to reach around her and wrap her in the huge robe. It swallowed her as Frank slid the material up over her shoulders and around her neck. He held on to the thick lapel as she slid her arms into the long sleeves. Just the barest touch of the tips of his thumbs rested on her collarbone. “I, ah, thank you.” Her brain didn’t want to function properly. From the moment he touched her, sounds fizzled and echoed in her ears. Heat built up in her stomach and fanned down to lower regions. It ignited long forgotten passions. Ribbons of wanton need tightened intimate parts of her anatomy and made her squirm as she tried to ease the pressure. And she had a deep, deep urge to kiss him. One that she couldn’t control. “I didn’t thank you properly for rescuing me.” Colleen fished her hands out of the ends of the sleeves, hooked them on his arms and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his unblemished cheek. A scent of a spicy floral aftershave and whiskey tickled her nose. When her lips touched his cheek, she heard him inhale sharply. Oh geez, what am I doing, she wondered. I don’t know but whatever it is, it feels good. -22-
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As Colleen drew back from Frank, he shifted his hands and released the terry cloth robe. He skimmed his knuckles across her jaw. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of his touch on her skin then tilted her head while the back of his fingers caressed her neck and throat. Frank’s heartbeat raced and pounded against her palms when she laid them on his chest. “You are so beautiful.” Frank’s mouth hovered next to her ear. His breath tickled her skin. She moaned when he trailed a line of kisses between her ear and shoulder then reversed the process. She never felt like this before. Every inch of her body was alive and on fire, reminding her of the passion she lacked in her life. “Frank...” His mouth captured hers so hard and fast it snatched the breath from her. It took a moment to regain her faculties, but when she did, she poured herself into the kiss. Her lips parted and she thrust her tongue into his mouth, searching for warmth. His hands ran the length of her back then captured her bottom as he pressed her to him. She could feel his hardness against her stomach. He removed a hand and, with swift movement, popped open the tortoise shell clip to let her curls fall around her shoulders. Then he ran his fingers through her hair. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” she thought she heard him say against her lips. Always? What did he mean by that? The thought cooled her passion, but as she pondered the question, he shifted and pushed his thigh between hers and all thought fled. The firm, lean thigh rubbed an already swollen area that ached to be touched. Colleen ground her arousal against Frank. She pushed herself higher and higher. She grabbed his hand on her bottom and guided it inside the robe then under her skirt. He groaned into her mouth as his fingers slid under the -23-
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elastic band of her panties and into the hair that covered her. Frank’s fingers circled her wetness until he found the nub that sent a jolt through her. She broke from the kiss and all but screamed as he tortured her with slow deliberate force. Her climax shook her down to her toes. If he hadn’t slid his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, she wasn’t sure she would have been able to stand up very long. She reached for him, wanting to touch him, but the robe had slipped down her arms and restricted her movement. She struggled some, which only tightened her restraint. Frank looked into her eyes, a smile curled at his lips. The blue of his irises were alive. They danced as passion played on his face. “Stuck, huh?” For a moment, Colleen could only stare. She was more than stuck. She couldn’t have moved from that spot if her life depended on it. But for the first time in a long while, she was damn glad to be trapped. She nodded. “Yeah, stuck.” Frank nuzzled her neck then ran his fingers up her back and around to her shoulders. He slid his hands under the terry robe and knocked it to the floor. He tugged at the thin strap of her dress, and his smile widened. “You really should get this off before the stain sets.” Colleen smiled. “I should, shouldn’t I?” She lowered the zipper that ran under her right arm. The thin satiny material floated down around her feet. She stood before a perfect stranger clad only in her black lacey bra and panties. And she’d be damned if it wasn’t the most exciting thing ever. As Frank reached for her, she pushed his hand away and shook her finger at him. “Not so fast. Your turn.” She stepped closer to him and yanked open his shirt. Buttons flew across the room. She smiled up at him. “It was already ruined.” He cocked an eyebrow but didn’t comment as he removed the useless shirt and pulled the white undershirt over his head. Colleen watched the striptease as he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks. His fingers -24-
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shook as he tried to unfasten his navy slacks. He was nervous? That charmed Colleen for some reason. There was something so genuine and so familiar about Frank. And again, it comforted her in a way she couldn’t explain. It was almost as if she had known him for years. As if two old friends embarked on a new journey. But that was silly. She had just met Frank and would probably never see him again after one glorious night. She laid her fingers over his, pushed them out of the way, and undid his pants. She slid them down his strong, muscular legs and trailed a line of kisses from his hip to his knee then back. Her fingers hooked the top of his gray jockey shorts and let them follow the path of his pants. Then she took his rigid arousal in her hand. Heat pulsated. Again his breath caught. He spoke through gritted teeth, “You’re killing me.” A thrill trickled down her spine. She smiled at the power she held over him. A heady emotion she’d never before experienced. “Ah, poor baby.” She released her hold on him and ran her hands from his tight stomach up to his chest. Her mouth at the base of his neck, she kissed a line down his chest, and then circled a nipple with her tongue while her fingers played in the jet-black hair that curled over remarkably hard pecs. His hands fumbled with the clasp of her bra and slipped when she playfully bit down on the copper nub. “Just for that…” He ripped the thin straps of her panties and tore them from her body. She tried to protest. They were her favorite pair of Victoria’s Secret panties. But before she had time to think, Frank swept her up in his arms and carried her back into the bedroom. His mouth found hers before he even located the bed. The thrust of his tongue melted what little resistance she had left. He laid her on the bed but did not break contact. His hands quickly set -25-
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a feverish pace. He explored, learned her body. His mouth followed his hands. His tongue teased the tight tips of her nipples until he took one full in his mouth and sucked. Colleen groaned at the delightful torture. Then he switched to her other breast. She arched off the bed. “I can’t take much more.” “Sure you can.” Colleen opened her eyes and saw a devilish grin cross his face. He kissed a trail down her stomach and hovered over the juncture between her thighs. “I don’t think…” Her words trailed off as his tongue delved into a place that set her on fire. Her hips lifted from the mattress, unable to remain still. “Oh God! Oh God!” She couldn’t refrain from screaming. No man had ever touched her in such a way. She didn’t know such ecstasy existed. “Please. Please. I need you. In me. Now.” He lifted himself over her, hovering close to penetration then paused. “I…I don’t have anything. I mean protection.” His eyes widened staring at hers. “I’m on the Pill.” She ran her hand up and down his back, her only thought—don’t stop now. “I had a physical six months ago for a trip abroad. And I haven’t slept with a soul for a long time before that and certainly not since.” “It’s been years since my last physical, but I have never been with a woman without protection before so…” “Good enough for me.” She thrust her hips up and took him deep into her. Heat flashed as bodies joined. Her eyelids drifted shut as he stretched her, filled her. It had been so long it stung for a brief moment then a slow quickening tightened her belly, low in her womb, as she reveled in the delight. He nudged her chin with a gentle kiss. “Open your eyes. I want you to look at me.” She did. The desire in his eyes unnerved her as much as it pushed her -26-
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higher. The rhythm increased until Colleen all but flew apart, her eyes losing focus. As she reached her second peak, she couldn’t help but pant louder and louder which drove him faster. He pushed harder into her until they both collapsed in repletion. Frank moved his weight off her and pulled her tight next to his body. After their breaths evened and heart rates lowered, smooth even sleep breaths flowed as his grip loosened slightly around her waist. She thought over his words as sleep tickled her brain. He had never been with a woman without a condom before. Yet he was with her. Why? What was so special about her? Oh my, what have I done? She tried to untangle her confused thoughts but sleep pulled her under before she could.
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Chapter Three Colleen woke suddenly, unsure of her surroundings. The darkened room did little to help her remember. Then an arm across her stomach shifted. She had to stifle the scream that hung in her throat. Frank! She and Frank… I can’t believe I did that. She ran her hand over her face and tried to push the remnants of sleep back. She needed to get out before Frank woke up. Carefully she slid out from under his arm and sheets, then off the bed. Blindly, afraid to wake Frank with a light, she crawled on all fours into the living area. Could she remember where her clothes had landed earlier? Colleen fumbled around the floor for what seemed like an eternity. She smacked her head twice on the coffee table before she came across her discarded dress. She found everything but her torn and useless panties. She donned her bra and dress in the dark. With her handbag and shoes under her arm, she quietly let herself out of the hotel room. The elevator doors closed and she let out a breath pent up in her lungs. What have I done? What have I done? “Okay. So I slept with the guy. No big deal,” she said in the empty elevator car. “He’ll be going back to Oklahoma City when his convention’s done and I won’t have to worry about seeing him ever again.” The doors opened to the lobby and Colleen padded barefoot across the cold marble floors. She glanced up at the clock over the concierge desk. Oh geez, after midnight. -28-
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“Miss Nance?” Colleen froze. All but the heart that pounded heavy in her chest. Someone behind her cleared their throat and called her name again. She turned. The hotel’s events coordinator stared awkwardly at her. “Mr. Baldwin.” Her eyes darted around the lobby. “You’re working late.” Heat crawled up her neck and onto her cheeks. She didn’t make eye contact with the man but fiddled with the heel of her shoe. “I needed to finish up some paperwork. I didn’t realize you were still here, Miss Nance. I…is something wrong? I thought you left several hours ago.” Colleen watched the forty-something man shift his weight from foot to foot and ball and un-ball his fist. “No, no everything’s fine.” Except that I am completely humiliated. “You’re still happy with the banquet hall for your wedding reception aren’t you? Your fiancé didn’t decide against it since he didn’t come see it with you, did he?” “No, Mr. Baldwin. I assure you everything is still as we planned for my reception.” “Three weeks is sort of short notice to arrange such a large group. I hope you can accomplish all that you wanted to.” “Yes. Me too. Well I, ah, I gotta run now. Bye.” Colleen walked as fast as she dared through the lobby and out into the cool night air. The brisk October breeze prickled her skin as she headed for her car parked in the lot next to the hotel. Her dress had thankfully dried but with nothing to cover her arms, her teeth chattered steadily by the time she reached the two-year-old Honda. Her bare bottom touched the leather seat as she slid into the car. It reminded her of the foolish mistake she made. Oh but what a wonderfully delightful mistake it had been. Frank had touched her in ways no man ever had. Kent, who had decided to wait until they were married to have sex after several botched -29-
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attempts, hadn’t even come close to the ecstasy she shared with a perfect stranger. She waited for the heat to warm up the car and looked at herself in the rearview mirror. She was aghast to find her hair stuck up every which way. No wonder the poor man seemed nervous. I could frighten the dead. She tried in vain to smooth down the electrified curls that stood out from her head. What have I done? Her new mantra repeated itself in her head. “So I slept with someone I don’t even know. Men do it all the time. Right?” She spoke to the empty seat next to her. “So my wedding is less than a month away. Kent thinks I lack passion. Please! What was that up there?” She motioned at the hotel that loomed over her in the darkness. “I would call what happened tonight passion. Shows what Kent knows. Ha!” Then Colleen realized what she’d said. Even alone, in the darkened car, embarrassment engulfed her. She buried her head in her hands and wept. “What have I done?” *
*
*
A headache hammered and roused him from a deep sleep. Joel groaned as the bright morning light seeped into his conscious. He had had the wildest dream, him and Colleen Nance. He opened his eyes and saw the hotel room. Not a dream. He patted the other side of the bed. Empty. Instinctively he knew she was gone. She left, not just somewhere else in the suite. Well why wouldn’t she? She thought he was Frank Lambert from Oklahoma City, a one-night stand, not Joel Burkhart from high school, a man who’d known her as a teenager. He eased up on the bed and held his head in his hands. If it weren’t for -30-
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the infernal headache, he could truly relish the night he’d spent with the one woman he’d compared every other woman to since he was eighteen. He had had her in his arms, in his bed, or a bed rather. And it was all he’d hoped for and more. Her soft skin and full ripe breasts had been his. Naked on the bed, his erection grew at the memory. He groaned and carefully eased himself up then walked into the living room. He threw on the robe he’d draped over Colleen the night before. Sweet lavender permeated the pain in his head and reminded him of the glorious night. Hand to his head, he walked around the suite and gathered up his clothes. Then he saw a wisp of black fabric under the edge of the coffee table. Blood rushed to his head with horrific pain as he bent to grab the curious material. His heart flipped in his chest when he discovered Colleen had left her torn panties behind. His arousal ached. He could see Colleen and her auburn hair spread on the pillow next to him. God how he’d dreamed of that day. And it finally happened. But it wasn’t his name she called out, wracked with ecstasy. And that about undid him. But for those brief few moments, he could imagine his name on her lips. His name she called when she came in a warm, wet rush. A moan slipped from his lips as his cock came to life, hard again even after a night with Colleen. He had to get under control, somehow reel himself in. How? He tried tricks from his youth when a glance of Colleen would keep him rooted at a desk until the ache passed. But even the thoughts of crooked wig-wearing Mrs. Stacy, his tenthgrade Spanish teacher, didn’t abate the pain in his crotch. A cold shower later, however, took the edge off. Slightly A quick check of his watch told Joel he had just enough time to get out of the hotel before his boss and the new clients showed up for their meeting. He dressed quickly then stuffed Colleen’s torn panties in his coat pocket before he called maid service. Without a backwards glance, he left the room. -31-
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*
*
*
“What?” Colleen slammed her hand down on the desk. “Is something wrong? All I asked was if I could borrow your stapler.” Peggy tilted her head and stared at Colleen. Colleen sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” “Pre-wedding jitters?” Peggy sat in the chair across the desk from Colleen. “No.” She fiddled with the stack of papers in front of her then returned her gaze to her friend and co-worker. “Not exactly.” Peggy’s ebony eyebrow lifted above her chocolate brown eyes but she didn’t press Colleen for more. “I, ah—” Colleen swallowed the lump in her throat. “Aw shit, Peggy. I screwed up last night. Literally.” “Hold that thought.” Peggy went over to her desk and grabbed her purse. She hoisted Colleen by the elbow and dragged her to the front door of the travel agency. “Sandy, Colleen and I are gonna catch a quick lunch.” The young girl nodded but didn’t have time to comment before Peggy had Colleen out on the sidewalk. Neither said a word as they walked the two blocks to the corner bistro. Peggy ordered the usual for both and waited for the server to leave. “Okay, spill.” Colleen swallowed the lump that found her throat again. “Alyssia and I went looking for a place for the reception.” “Yes, I know. She called me this morning and told me all about it. The Worthington.” She waggled her eyebrows. “There was an insurance convention going on there and I kinda had an altercation with a man that wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Peggy half rose out of her seat. “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?” Colleen held up her hands. “No. No, I’m fine. I had—someone stepped -32-
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in and made him leave me alone.” Peggy sat back in her seat but a skeptical look crossed her face. “And?” “And he got his nose busted for the effort, so I helped him up to his room.” “And?” Colleen covered her mouth and mumbled her response. “What was that? I didn’t quite catch it.” “And I slept with him.” Peggy slammed her hands down onto the table. “What?” Patrons all through the bistro turned to look at them. “Shh.” Colleen sunk in her seat. She fanned her reddened cheeks with the cardboard drink coaster. “I am not believing this. Excuse me.” Peggy snagged the waitress’s sleeve. “Can you make that tea a Long Island iced tea please? Thanks.” Peggy stared at Colleen and made her want to squirm under the scrutiny. “A man gets a bloody nose and you sleep with him?” “It was my fault. He was defending me.” “So what happens if he suffers a concussion or something?” Peggy leaned forward and whispered in a harsh tone, “You have his child?” Colleen waved her hands. “That’s not why I slept with him. I am not stupid, you know. The sex, that just sorta happened later.” “Sorta happened? Sex doesn’t just sorta happen.” Colleen dropped her head to her hands. “Oh, what am I going to do?” “Did you tell Kent?” Colleen raised her eyelids but left her chin on the backs of her hands. “Of course not. You’re the first I’ve told.” “You didn’t tell Alyssia?” “Nope.” “Good. Don’t. She has a big mouth and will tell everyone.” Peggy took a long sip from her doctored tea when the waitress set it in front of her. -33-
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“Forget it. Pretend it never happened. Never tell another soul what you did.” “I can’t do that.” Colleen sat up. “Why not?” Forget the best sex she had ever had in her entire life? Forget a total stranger that still set her blood on fire? “I just can’t.” “Are you planning on telling Kent?” “Well, I, yeah. I think I have to.” “Honesty is not always the best policy, sweetums.” Colleen shook her head and stifled a groan. “I can’t lie to him. That wouldn’t be fair.” “Fair?” Peggy’s dramatic eyebrow rose again. “The only reason to tell him at this point would be if you wanted to end your engagement.” Peggy sucked on her straw and made half the drink disappear. “Do you still want to marry Kent?” Colleen hesitated. “I suppose.” “You suppose? Not good enough. Yes or no. Do you want to marry Kent?” “I don’t know. I…” The waitress set their food in front of them. She lifted the empty glass by Peggy’s hand. “Another?” “Yes and bring one for my friend, too.” Peggy narrowed her eyes at Colleen. “She needs a shot of something.” Peggy waited until the young woman left the table. “Where’s all of this coming from? I thought you were in love with Kent and couldn’t wait to get married.” “I do want to get married.” “Just not to Kent? Is that it?” “Geez, Peggy. I just don’t know.” Colleen obliterated the baked potato with her fork. She kept her vision trained on the food stuck in between the tines. She couldn’t bear to see the disapproval in the face of one of her dearest friends. “Have you ever wondered if you’re living your life for someone else, like your parents or your friends?” -34-
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“No, can’t say that I have.” Colleen thought of her free-willed friend across the table. Not too many people could say they ran with the bulls in Pamplona. Nor do everyday folks scale an active volcano. “No I guess you wouldn’t. I feel like, for me, it’s expected that I marry Kent.” She dropped her fork to her plate and looked up at Peggy. “My mother and father were ecstatic when he asked.” She held up her hand when Peggy tried to speak. “Do you realize that my younger sister got married seven years before me? And that of all the people I went to school with, I am the only one who has never been married? Hell, just about everyone I know has gotten married, with the exception of my nephews and last time I checked that was frowned upon in elementary school.” “I’ve never been married.” “And for that the fifth navel fleet is thrilled.” “Hey, I do my part for patriotism.” Peggy winked at Colleen. “Darcy’s divorced, she’s not married.” “Yes. But she’s been married.” “Kalisa’s divorced, too.” “I repeat, has been married. I’ve never come close before.” “So this is a last ditch effort for you?” “Yes. No.” Colleen growled and raked her hands through her hair. “You’re only thirty. This is not a race with the clock.” Peggy reached across the table and patted Colleen’s arm. “You know my views on marriage, so I am not the one to try to talk you into marrying Kent. My only advice is to do what you feel is right.” *
*
*
Joel stared at the overhead projector and tried to make sense of the figures but his brain jumbled number after number. To make matters worse, everyone knew about his altercation with Darryl the evening before. -35-
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Despite the smug look on Darryl’s face, he did seem to take Joel’s threat seriously and hadn’t caused any more trouble. But that didn’t diminish the bruise around Joel’s eye or the swelling in his nose. When the last presenter finished his workshop, Joel rushed to get as far away from work as possible. He stopped at home to change into his sweats and headed to the park to run a few laps of detoxification. He needed to clear his head even if it brought back the reality of Colleen’s absence that morning. On his third lap, the pain in his nose grew greater than he could bear so he decided to walk the remainder of the way back to his truck. At his truck, he rested against the tailgate then lifted his face to the sky and took several deep breaths. “Joel? Joel Burkhart?” Joel straightened and searched for the voice that called to him. He saw a man with a boy on his shoulders. Two more boys trailed behind and carried soccer paraphernalia. The man lifted the boy from his shoulders and set him on the ground. Familiarity pulled at his thoughts. Then reality struck for the second time in as many days. His heart drilled against his ribs. “Mikey Nance. Well I’ll be…” He trailed off when the three miniature versions of Mikey all stopped and stared at Joel. “You’re about the last guy I ever expected to see.” The two shook hands. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you since the debacle of a Homecoming game in `93.” Joel laughed. “Yeah. The team pretty much went downhill once the rough bunch left,” Joel said, referring to the group of boys that made up the team in the late eighties.” “I heard you moved up to Oklahoma.” “Yeah, but I just got transferred back.” Mikey nudged his arm. “Nice shiner. I see some things don’t change.” Joel touched the tips of his fingers between his right eye and nose. He -36-
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wondered if Colleen would have told Mikey about last night. Don’t be an ass, he told himself. Of course not. “Fighting over a woman?” “You could say that.” Unease spiraled through him. “Daddy, I gotta go.” The youngest Nance danced in his spot and crossed his legs. Mikey ruffled the boy’s hair. “Okay, sport.” He turned back to Joel. “Oh hey, we’re having a party for my sister and her fiancé Friday night. You should come on over and catch up. There’ll be a bunch of folks you know.” “I’ll try.” “Daddy…” “Okay. Okay.” Mikey scooped the boy up and headed for the brick out buildings on the other side of the parking lot. “You still remember where my parents lived?” Mikey called over his shoulder. “Yeah.” “Party’s there. Seven o’clock. See you Friday night.” Joel laughed and waved. The two other boys waved then hurried to catch up with their dad. Mikey with kids. Joel couldn’t have imagined that if he tried, but somehow it fit the man. Then his mind flittered to Mikey’s sisters. Little Sharon’s getting married. Joel wasn’t surprised. From what he remembered, she was almost as pretty as Colleen. Almost. He wondered why Colleen wasn’t married. Or if she had ever been. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he showed up at the party Friday night. Boy, would she be surprised.
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Chapter Four “I have a sore throat. Maybe I should stay home.” Colleen set her brush on the vanity top. “In case I’m contagious.” “Nice try, Chicken Little.” Peggy stood behind Colleen and caught her gaze in the mirror. She reached around her shoulders to straighten the row of pearls around Colleen’s neck. “We need to go. Get your butt in gear.” Colleen grumbled. She stood in front of the floor length mirror and contemplated her outfit once again. Satisfied, she went to her closet, grabbed a pair of comfortable black flats, and slid them on her feet then decided to go with the heels that flattered the outfit more. To hell with comfort. Her party called for glamour. Peggy stood by the door and cleared her throat—again. “Com-ming.” Colleen picked up her purse and headed for the garage. Once the little red sports car turned onto the road, Peggy peered at Colleen from the corner of her eye. “So, you never said,” Peggy paused. “Are you going to tell Kent? Or do what I said and forget it?” Colleen watched the houses go by as they drove to the party. “Forget it.” That was a bald-face lie. She had thought of little else over the past week. Hell, her thighs were still on fire from the man’s magnificent touch. She could still feel his mouth on her nipples. They hardened at the thought. She crossed her arms over her chest in hopes that Peggy wouldn’t notice. “I won’t see him again.” She sighed. “He’s long gone, probably already back in Oklahoma. So what would be the point in hurting my parents?” “And Kent.” -38-
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“Yeah, and Kent.” “I think you’re making the right decision.” Colleen disagreed, but didn’t say so. She wasn’t making any decision. It wasn’t as if she had a choice. The man lived in another state and it wasn’t as if they had swapped addresses. Hell, she didn’t know a thing about the man. A horrible thought struck her. What if he was married? Had a family. Children. She closed her eyes. Again, she wondered how she could have screwed up so royally. What had ever possessed her to sleep with a man she didn’t know? She could have destroyed her engagement, not to mention his family. But she couldn’t worry about it now. What was done was done and she couldn’t take it back. Plus, if she didn’t know anything about him, couldn’t contact him, the reverse was true. She had nothing to worry about. *
*
*
“What am I doing here?” Joel’s stomach pitched when he stepped onto the Nances’ front porch. His hand shook when he reached to knock on the door. He wondered if Mikey told Colleen that he’d been invited. Wondered if she would be happy to see him. Wondered if… “Hey, man.” Mikey opened the door. “Glad you made it.” “Hope I’m not late.” Joel glanced at his watch. He had planned to arrive right at seven but the office actually got busy just as he prepared to leave, which made him twenty minutes late. Mikey chuckled. “No. The guest of honor is late too. Both my sisters are. I swear those two women could keep Satan himself waiting. Come in. Come in. Let me introduce you around.” Joel stepped into a time warp. The Nance house looked as it had in 1990 when he graduated from high school—with the exception of twice as many photos on the hallway gallery wall. Newer photos featured Mikey’s -39-
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three boys and a towhead boy he hadn’t seen before. Who knew you could fit so many frames in one tiny hallway? He looked at the last photo then Mikey dragged him to the back den where a couple dozen people filled the area. Mikey reintroduced him to a handful of guys from the football team. And a few girls he recognized but he couldn’t recall what year they had graduated. It amazed him that Mikey had stayed in touch with so many of them. He decided he didn’t know the Nances as well as he might have thought. Look at Colleen. He never would have pictured her as the love them and leave them type. But he hoped to change that. Dick and Viv Nance, Colleen’s parents, walked over and greeted him. The older man patted him on the shoulder. “So glad to see you, Joel. It’s been too long.” “Yes, it has.” Joel relaxed in small degrees. But he jumped every time someone came through the door. His attention didn’t stray far so he would know the moment Colleen arrived. A woman with auburn hair entered the room and made her way to the back of the house. Joel followed her with his eyes and wondered. For a moment, he thought it was Colleen. But there was something just a bit off. Then he recognized Sharon, Colleen and Mikey’s younger sister. The similarity was striking. But where Colleen had a fuller, rounder face, Sharon had sharper cheekbones like her brother. He expected everyone to turn to the latecomer and cheer her welcome. But other than a few polite nods of hello and a hug from her mother, no one made much notice of the younger woman. Confused, Joel waded through the guests and approached Sharon. When he was within yelling distance, he noticed the obvious swell of her very pregnant belly. She looked ready to drop that baby at any second. For a moment, he wondered if that was the reason for the lukewarm reception from the other guests. But then he shook off the notion. Why have a party for the woman if you were going to ignore her? -40-
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As he stood in thought, a man walked up behind Sharon and slid his arms around her stomach. The look on his face spoke volumes of his desire for the much smaller woman in his arms. A familiarity with the man caused Joel to tilt his head and look closer. He realized he was a grown version of the towhead child with Mikey’s kids. But if that boy was his child… “Hey, tardy sister number one has arrived.” Mikey sidled up next to Joel and slapped him on the shoulder. “Come on and I will introduce you to her husband.” Husband? Joel’s world tilted. His gut rolled. But he didn’t want to put his thoughts into focus. He wanted to bask in the ignorance of his mistake assuming Sharon was the future bride as long as he could. “Shar-ron.” Mikey leaned forward and kissed his sister’s cheek. Then he shook hands with the big, burly man. “Chad. Guys, I would like to introduce you to Joel Burkhart. We went to high school together.” “I remember you. You played on the football team with Mikey.” Sharon held out her hand to him. Joel shook it and hoped she didn’t notice how clammy his palms were or how badly they shook. “Yeah.” “I haven’t seen you since you came to Mikey’s graduation party.” “Joel just moved back to town.” Mikey didn’t have any qualms about speaking for Joel. And given how dry his throat was, Joel didn’t mind. “I ran into him the other day in the park and invited him to catch up with old friends.” “Great. I’m glad you could make the shindig.” Sharon glanced over her shoulder and scanned the room. “Where’s the guest of honor?” “Late as usual.” Chad chuckled. “Well, at least Kent knows what he’s getting himself in for.” Kent. Joel could have gone a lifetime without ever knowing the name of Colleen’s fiancé. -41-
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Mikey nudged Joel’s arm and pointed at his sister. “Our little ol’ Sharon is about to have another baby.” “Yes, I can see that.” Sharon smiled and rubbed the swell of her belly. “Mom’s finally getting her girl.” He congratulated the couple, but his mind reeled. What he’d tried to deny smacked him up side the head. Colleen wasn’t free. Not only had she lied to him, she had cheated on her fiancé. What kind of fool was he? Sharon continued and broke into his thoughts. “Not that Colleen has contributed to the expansion of our family.” “Give her time.” Mikey patted his sister’s shoulder. “Let her settle into marriage before you have her barefoot and pregnant.” Joel’s gut churned with the idea of her with another man’s baby. Then Chad snorted. “As if Kent would allow that.” He leaned closer to Joel. “He’s very particular about appearances and whatnot.” Sharon smacked her husband’s hand then looked at Joel. “Don’t mind him. For some strange reason, he and Kent don’t get along.” “No one says I have to like the man just because he’s marrying your sister. Know what I mean?” he asked Joel. Joel nodded, but couldn’t find a single thing to say. The group stood in silence for a moment and Joel, for lack of anything else to do, finished his punch. “It was nice meeting you, Chad.” Joel held out his hand to shake the large man’s hand. “I’m…going to go refresh my drink.” He leaned forward and pecked Sharon’s cheek. “Nice seeing you again.” He didn’t wait to hear her response, but headed straight for the front door. A hand on his shoulder stopped him. “Joel. I hear tell you’re in the insurance business.” Dick Nance shook the ice in his cup then took a sip. “I’ve been thinking of getting a new provider for my company. Tell me something about your outfit.” -42-
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*
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Colleen stepped onto the porch and wiped her sweaty palms on her pant legs. Peggy patted her shoulder. “Calm down. Look happy or everyone is going to think you’re having second thoughts.” Colleen took a deep breath. “Wouldn’t want that.” When she made no attempt to open the door, Peggy moved around her and turned the knob. “What was that?” “Nothing. I’m fine and dandy. Let’s get this over with.” Peggy laughed. “It’s a party, not the gallows.” “Uh-huh.” She pasted on a smile and followed Peggy into the front hall. Her gaze zeroed in on Kent the moment her eyes adjusted to the bright lights. A frown creased his perfectly tanned forehead and his dark brown gaze narrowed in a manner she knew all too well meant trouble. He all but charged at her. Without so much as a hello, he grabbed her elbow and his fingers dug into her arm. He pulled her back toward her old bedroom and shoved her through the open door. He whipped her around then leaned into her until his face was a scant inch away. “How dare you embarrass me like this?” “What?” “You are over an hour late for our party. Where have you been?” “I was at home getting ready.” He stepped back and examined her outfit. “It took you that long to get ready and that was all you could come up with?” Colleen glanced down at the outfit she chose. The black pants and mint green twin-set fit her perfectly. She had been happy to find the cashmere sweater combo at her favorite department store’s Labor Day sale. Despite her jittery nerves, she had been happy about her wardrobe choice. -43-
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“What happened to the dress I sent over to you?” Colleen ducked her head. “It didn’t fit.” Which she had been more than thankful for. The hideous ensemble in reds and oranges clashed with her hair—and it was flat ugly. What could he have been thinking when he bought the damn thing? She gasped when Kent grabbed her hips. “You’re putting on weight again.” He reached around and cupped her bottom. “I thought we agreed you would go on a diet.” Colleen shoved him away. “Look, Kent, you either marry me for me or find yourself someone else. I am not a Barbie-wanna-be. I like how I look and I don’t plan to change.” He shoved his hands on his own hips then pouted like a four-year-old. “I just want what’s best for you.” He tilted his head and gave her another once over. “You know that, right?” “Yeah sure. Look, we should get to the party before Mikey comes looking for us.” Like she knew he would, Kent straightened at the mention of her older brother. The little twit, even though a grown man, feared her brother. What did he think he would do? Beat him up for making advances on his darling sister? Hardly. Oh, Mikey would protect her if need be, but despite his size, he was not prone to picking fights. But Colleen had decided long ago not to tip her hand. What Kent didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him How right the altered adage was that ran through her mind. She stepped away from Kent. A motion by the door caught her eye. A shadow retreated from view. Had someone been standing there? Had someone heard what Kent had said to her? Her cheeks heated with embarrassment. She knew it couldn’t have been her family or one of her close friends. She didn’t think they would tolerate Kent speaking to her like that. Why do I tolerate it? But she knew. Her biological clocked ticked louder every day. Maybe I could find another man who treated me better. How I deserve to be treated. She shook her head. But what if I don’t? What if I -44-
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break it off with Kent and never find anyone else? Never have the chance to be a mother? That thought scared her more than the idea of spending the next few decades with a man whose idea of romance was to let her channel surf on Friday nights. The risk was just too great. And when the time came, with a child to take care of, to love, she knew she would be able to deal with Kent Griffith. *
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“There’s my girl.” Colleen’s father wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “We were starting to wonder if you were going to show up at all.” “Of course, Daddy. It just took me longer to get ready than I thought. Perfection takes work, you know.” She winked at her father and he smiled at their old joke. “Where’s Kent?” Her father looked over her shoulder. “There you are, son. Come stand over here with us.” Dick Nance kissed his daughter’s temple. “You ready?” She nodded though everything in her shouted no. But it was too late to turn back now. “Okay. Can I have everyone’s attention?” The crowd quieted down and someone stuck a drink in Colleen’s hand. She found Alyssia and Peggy next to her mother. Sharon, Chad, Mikey and his wife, Jessica, stood off to the left of them. Her gaze stopped on a man she didn’t quite recognize. He leaned against the foyer pillar with his head bent down and arms crossed over his chest in almost a defensive position. He looked uncomfortable. Something about the man intrigued her though. He reminded her of someone, but she couldn’t quite decide… Her heart hammered in her chest. It couldn’t be. How in the world would Frank have found her? She took a sip of her drink and let the strong liquid slide down her throat. -45-
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“I’d like to welcome you all to our home. Colleen’s mother and I…” Colleen tuned her father out. She willed the man to raise his head. To look at her, so she would know it wasn’t Frank and she wasn’t going out of her ever-loving mind. She took another sip. The liquid warmed her stomach, but didn’t dislodge the lump of dread. “We couldn’t be happier…” Her father droned on, but she couldn’t concentrate on him. As she lifted the glass to her mouth a third time, the man’s head rose. His eyes locked onto hers. Holy… She sputtered and coughed, unable to breathe. A hand pounded on her back. “I’m…I’m okay. Please stop.” She didn’t look to see who had smacked her. She didn’t care. She was afraid if she took her eyes off Frank, he would disappear. And at the same time she wanted his face, his broad shoulders, and strong arms to all be a mirage, a figment of her imagination. “Colleen likes to keep us guessing.” Her father chuckled and rubbed her shoulder then raised his glass in the air. “To Colleen and Kent. May they live happily ever after.” Frank’s brows sank precariously low on his forehead. His lips flattened into a straight line. His stance rigid, he didn’t toast the couple with the crowd. His glare almost burned a hole through Colleen, but she couldn’t look away. She needed to go to him, to explain. But she couldn’t. Kent wrapped a possessive arm around her shoulders and pulled her tight next to him. A hardened look crossed Frank’s tan face, a look that broke her heart. The desire to comfort him, to apologize to him, struck her followed by the knowledge that she didn’t feel an ounce of remorse for Kent’s sake. Shouldn’t she, though? Shouldn’t she want to right her actions with Kent? The odd tumble of emotions ran through her as rounds of “ah” and “here-here” echoed from the crowd. Friends and family gathered around her. -46-
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She strained up on her tiptoes but lost sight of Frank. Twenty minutes later, Colleen managed to sneak from her parents’ house. The door to the porch closed and quieted the din from the wellmeaning guests. Even in the midst of all those people, she couldn’t shake her loneliness. An incongruous sensation considering the party was for her. But she couldn’t help feel she was with the wrong man. That she should have stood next to her father…with Frank. She shook her head. She’d long given up hope to find Frank. He probably left soon after her dad’s toast. She would have. The cool evening breeze caught her hair and whipped it around her face as she headed toward her nephews’ swing set. Colleen sat on the lowest swing and pushed herself back and forth. While the swing’s motion comforted her, she dug in her pocket to find a hair band. The massive head of curls that smacked her in the face was the only thing she could control in her life. She pulled the red mess into a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck. “It looked better down.”
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Chapter Five “Holy…” Colleen slapped her hand to her chest. Frank stood in the shadows next to the gardening shed. He stepped into the muted light that spilled from the curtained French doors. “You startled me.” “Must be the night for that.” His dry comment hung in the air between them. He moved closer until he took the swing next to her and straddled it. “What—” Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat in order to speak again. “What are you doing here?” “I heard him, you know.” His cryptic statement confused her and came nowhere near to an answer. “I’m sorry. I don’t—” “I heard how he speaks to you. How he treats you. You’re going to marry a man like that?” Colleen closed her eyes. Damn. She knew someone had been outside the door. Colleen looked at Frank and wished she hadn’t. The bruise on his eye had lessened, and despite the blemish, Frank remained a gorgeous man. The memories of her night with him swam in her mind. Her body responded with lightening quick speed at the thought of his touch. She cleared her throat again. “It’s not what you think.” “You have no idea what I think.” She felt the need to defend. But not for Kent’s sake. No, she didn’t want to look foolish for being with a man like Kent. -48-
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“You deserve better than that, Colleen,” he said before she could come up with a plausible explanation. “No man should ever treat you that way. You should never put up with it.” Colleen shook her head to clear her fuzzed mind. “You never answered me when I asked what you’re doing here.” “Mikey invited me.” “You know my brother?” He gave a quick nod but didn’t elaborate. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Why didn’t you tell me you were getting married in a matter of weeks?” Colleen’s cheeks heated, but she didn’t dare look away. “Touché.” Frank stood. “Well, I guess it’s time for me to leave.” He headed for the gate on the side of the house. She couldn’t blame him for not wanting to go back inside. She sure as hell didn’t. A profound sense of loss engulfed her as the breeze carried his scent away. Colleen jumped from the swing and darted after him. “Wait.” She caught up with him between her parents’ house and its stuccoed twin to the right. She stepped in front of him and put her hands on his chest to stop him. What? What in the hell could she say? “I should have been up front with you.” She dropped her hands. “I’m sorry.” She lied again. She wasn’t sorry. He might not have considered having sex with a woman about to be married. And it was the absolute best sex of her adult life. She looked up at the night sky and willed a thunderbolt to shoot down from the heavens and strike her dead for her wayward thoughts. “We shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have done what I did.” At least that much was true, no matter how much she enjoyed it. “I just have one question.” Only one? They swam around in her head like minnows until she was dizzy. Her heart pounded a painful rhythm in her chest as she waited. -49-
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“You said you hadn’t been with another man in well over six months. Was that true?” “Yes.” “Yet, you’re engaged.” He jabbed his finger in her shoulder. A tingle of fear skidded down her spine when he backed her against the house. With all the noise inside, no one would hear her scream out. “How do you expect me to believe that?” She shrugged. “We just haven’t. I mean, we have, just not in a long, long time. Kent—” She saw him flinch at the name. “He said we should wait until after the wedding. He said it would be special then.” Frank snorted. “I didn’t have much experience before I met K…him. I guess I wasn’t very good.” Even in the dark, Colleen could see Frank’s jaw flex as if he were grinding his teeth. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Colleen crossed her arms over her chest. “He said I lacked passion.” Frank swore and paced away from her. He came back closer than before. “I guess I’m not sexy enough. I don’t know. But once we get married…” She shrugged again. “That’s ridiculous.” Frank hooked his hand on the back of her neck while the other removed the band that held her hair. His fingers tangled in her curls. He ducked his head and whispered into her ear, “You are far too sexy for your own good.” Warm breath tickled her neck. “And, so damn beautiful.” Her breath caught in her lungs. She had to force herself to speak. “I…thank you. No one else has ever thought so.” He pulled back and eyed her. “Stupid. All stupid.” He leaned closer. His mouth hovered just above Colleen’s lips. “And your fiancé is a damn idiot.” He closed the gap within a flash. Colleen didn’t have time to think, she only knew that she would die without the feel of his mouth on her. -50-
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Her nipples tightened as his tongue mated with hers. She leaned into him. Someone groaned, but she wasn’t sure who. She wanted to resist, to push him away. Everything inside her shouted to stop. She was at her parents’ house. For her engagement. But was she with her fiancé? No. She was with a man she didn’t really know. A man that melted her from the inside out. So instead of putting a halt to her body’s raging hormones, she slid her hands around his waist and pulled him closer, his arousal pressed against her hip. Her thoughts disappeared when he slid warm hands under her sweater. With a maddeningly slow pace, he inched up her ribs. The tips of his thumbs just graced the underside of her breasts. Colleen, emboldened by intense pleasure, ground her hips against his erection, but it wasn’t enough. She gripped Frank’s butt and kneaded the tight mounds. She released him and traced the waistband of his slacks until she found his belt buckle. The metal scraped her fingertips as she worked the hook free. “Colleen?” Before she could slide the leather through the loop, Frank broke the kiss and pulled away. “Don’t stop.” She reached for him but he moved back another step. “Someone’s calling for you.” “Colleen?” She heard her name and realized it was coming from around the back of the house, not from Frank. Frank stared at her for a long moment. “This is insane. I have to—” He ran his hands through his hair and heaved a heavy sigh. “I gotta go.” Frank turned and jogged to the front of the house then disappeared around the corner. He left Colleen up against the house, confused and out of breath. She straightened her sweater and took several deep breaths. -51-
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“Colleen?” She groaned at the voice then patted her hair to make sure she at least looked a tad less unkempt. “Over here, Daddy.” Her father peaked around the corner. “There you are. What are you doing out here?” “I needed some fresh air. Uncle Morty has on his killer cologne again and it’s destroying my sinuses.” At least that was a partial truth. If she’d gone anywhere near her mother’s older brother. She had never known her uncle to leave the house without his ode-de-skunk, which could stop up noses in a three county radius. Dick Nance chuckled. “I’d have thought he’d have run out of that bottle by now. Your mother bought it for him twenty years ago.” He held out his arm and waited for her to move by his side before he continued. “Is everything okay, sweetie? You seem a tad out of sorts tonight.” “I’m fine. Pre-wedding jitters, I guess.” Dick walked over to the lounge chairs at the edge of the deck and motioned for his daughter to sit. “Are you having second thoughts?” “Why would you ask that?” “You haven’t seemed as happy as I would have thought. I know this a big step for you. I just want to make sure you’re making the right decision.” Colleen looked at her father in the pale light from the house. She had never heard anything less than one-hundred-percent endorsement for her wedding. Now it sounded as if he had doubts. “Don’t you like Kent, Dad?” “Oh sure, sure. Your mother and I like him fine. But we don’t want you jumping into a marriage just because you think you should be married at this point in your life.” Colleen’s eyes widened. How did her father know? How had he guessed that her fear of never being married spurred her decision to accept Kent’s proposal two years before? She opened her mouth to deny his accurate yet unacknowledged -52-
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assessment, but he held up his hand and stopped her. “Just something to think about. You have two weeks to finish getting ready for the wedding. But tonight—” He stood and grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. “Tonight is a party. Let’s get back inside and see if we can’t avoid old Uncle Morty the rest of the night.” Colleen and her father made their way back into the throng of partygoers. He kissed her cheek and went to talk with her brother-in-law, Chad. Sharon came up beside her and hooked an arm through hers. “Nice turnout tonight, sis.” “Yeah.” “Too bad Uncle Morty couldn’t make it.” “What?” “Didn’t you know? He broke his leg last week. Fell off the back of his house. Mom just about had a fit when she found out he and Dad were trying to fix the screen around the top of his chimney. He was lucky. Landed on top of Dad…” Colleen looked across the room and spotted her father. He winked at her and turned his attention back to whatever Chad was saying. “Alyssia’s been looking for you,” Sharon said. “She said you’ve been ignoring her all week.” “No, I haven’t.” Yes, I have. If she saw her friend, Alyssia would know what had happened back at the hotel. And she couldn’t risk Alyssia finding out. She had a big mouth. “We just keep missing each other.” Sharon nodded then a smile broke across her face. “Hey, that was neat seeing Joel again, huh?” “Joel? Joel who?” “Burkhart. From high school. You didn’t see him? That’s weird. Mikey ran into him the other day and invited him.” “No, I must have missed him.” Sharon craned her neck and scanned the room. “I don’t see him. I -53-
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wonder if he already left. It’d be a real shame. He hunked out beyond belief.” Colleen raised an eyebrow and stared at her sister. “What? He did. Don’t get me wrong. I am perfectly happy with my hubby.” She held up her glass and waved a pinky at Chad still in conversation with their dad. He blew her a kiss then nodded at whatever Dad had to say. “And he was good looking in high school too, but adulthood has been very kind to the man.” An image of Frank flashed through Colleen’s mind. She doubted ol’ Joel—whom she couldn’t remember from Adam—compared to Frank with his chiseled cheekbones and broad shoulders. That night in the hotel room, she knew he had killer good looks, even with the bruises and swelling. But tonight, her heart nearly stopped when she saw his gorgeous face. “What’re you ladies talking about?” “Peggy, hi, I haven’t seen you all night.” Sharon reached over and squeezed Peggy’s hand. “Peggy! Oh my God.” Colleen completely forgot her friend, her mind turned to mush the moment she spotted Frank. “You’re not going to believe—” Aware that her sister watched with bated breath Colleen stopped short of telling Peggy about Frank. “Excuse us. Peggy said she would help me…” Her mind went blank. “Fix her make-up. She looks atrocious.” Colleen frowned. Why did everyone think she looked bad? Well, not everyone. Frank called her beautiful. A warm rush heated her cheeks. She shook her head. She needed to concentrate. Before she could make sense of her thoughts, Peggy grabbed her by the shoulders and herded her back to her parents’ bathroom. She locked the door behind her and turned on the faucet in the sink full-blast. “What? My curiosity is going berserk. Did you tell Kent? What did he say? Did Kent call off the wedding? Does this mean I don’t have to wear that hideous bridesmaid dress?” -54-
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Colleen straightened her shoulders and glared at her friend. “You think the dress is hideous?” “Of course it is. All bridesmaids’ dresses are hideous. They’re supposed to be. That way the bride will shine without any distraction. So what happened? What? What? Tell me.” “I would if you’d stop talking for five seconds.” “Sorry. Can’t help myself.” “He was here.” “He? Who he?” Colleen let out an exasperated breath. “Frank.” “Who the hell is—” She slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. Through spread fingers, she asked, “Oh, you don’t mean?” Colleen nodded. “The guy from the hotel?” “Yep.” Colleen worried her lower lip with her teeth. “He was here?” “Yep. He said my brother invited him.” “How can that be?” “I have no idea.” Colleen sat on the closed lid of the toilet. How did Frank know her brother? Why didn’t he say so at the hotel? And damn, how had that man learned to kiss like that? Blood still roared through her system. “I have absolutely no idea.” *
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Joel slammed through the front door. What in the hell was he thinking kissing her like that? He should have left the second he realized Colleen was the intended. But no, he had to stay and see with his own eyes if it was true. What a show that had been. First that moron degrades her, tells her she needs to go on a diet. Then he managed to ignore her the rest of the -55-
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night. What an ass. Joel wanted to bash the man’s brains in. Then he swept in and laid that damn kiss on Colleen. He shifted. His groin still throbbed. Joel headed for the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge then slammed the door. He winced when he heard a glass jar clank inside, not that he gave a damn. Let all the shelves fall out and crash around his feet. It would be the least of his problems after the night he had. Colleen still didn’t know who he was. And she was getting married in a couple of weeks. Well, to hell with her. Who needed that kind of complication in his life? Who was he kidding? He’d take as much of her as he could get. Even if she did belong to another man. Not that he anticipated seeing her again. He took a long draw on the beer and finished it. He chunked the bottle across the room. It landed in the trash with a loud thud but didn’t break. “Hey, bro. What’s with all the knocking around?” Joel whipped around to find his brother, Corey with wet hair and a towel slung over his shoulders. He had yet to button the loose jeans that displayed a pair of Scooby-Doo boxers. “What’re you doing here?” Corey held up his hands and took a step back. “Whoa, bro. What crawled up your butt? I called you last week and told you I’d be here.” Joel ran his hands through his hair for the umpteenth time. “Sorry. I forgot.” Corey swiped at a few wet tendrils then tossed the towel near the laundry room. “Woman troubles?” “What makes you ask that?” Joel plopped down on the sofa, toed his shoes off, and let them fall to the floor. He propped his feet up on the coffee table and channel surfed. “I don’t know anything else that can tear a guy up like this.” Joel glared at the younger version of himself. “College boy knows everything now, huh?” Corey held up his hands again. “Consider the matter dropped.” He -56-
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hooked his jeans and perched on the opposite end of the sofa. “But if you ever feel the need to talk about it, you know you can come to me. You don’t want to let these emotions well up inside of you until they eat you alive. That’s not healthy.” Joel blinked and stared at his brother. This same man that spouted words of wisdom and concern, not a year ago, came close to expulsion for an organized campus-wide bikini raid and a homecoming prank that left a rival school’s goat mascot with permanent purple hair. A broad smile creased Corey’s face. “I’m taking a psych class. Sounded pretty good, huh?” “Don’t you have some place to be? Go put a shirt on.” “Who is she?” “Don’t you have to work tonight?” “Do I know her?” “Any parties going on?” “Are you going to keep answering me with a question?” Joel growled and mulled over how much trouble he’d be in if he strangled his brother. He decided his mom might not forgive him for one less grandchild opportunity. “I doubt you know her. It’s a girl I went to high school with.” “Colleen Nance?” “How…?” “Man, Joel, you mooned over her like nothing I have ever seen.” Corey reached behind the sofa and pulled a t-shirt from a bag that Joel hadn’t noticed. He slipped it over his head then looked back. “I thought she didn’t know you existed. How did you hook up with her?” “That was thirteen years ago. How do you remember her?” “I paid attention. I was young, not stupid. Now answer my question for once.” Joel turned off the TV and set the remote down. “I ran into her at a bar the other night.” He got up and paced behind the sofa. “But none of that -57-
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matters now. She’s getting married in two weeks.” “Aw man, that sucks.” Corey stood too and proceeded to tuck in his shirt. “But it’s not like you ever hooked up with her so no loss right?” “Yeah, right.” Joel stuck his hands in his pockets and jingled his keys. “Look, I have to run out for a bit. I’ll see you later.” He shoved his shoes back on and headed out the door before his brother had a chance to comment. Keys in the ignition, he revved the engine. Damn if he was going to sit and wallow in self-pity. He tore out of his driveway and decided to find a way to forget the one woman he’d always wanted.
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Chapter Six Colleen pulled out her sophomore yearbook. Something about the conversation with her sister hung in the back of her mind. What was Joel’s last name? Burton? Burke? No. Burkhart. She flipped through Mikey’s class, but didn’t find Joel. She scanned the juniors but no luck. She didn’t think he’d have been in her class. Wouldn’t she have remembered him if he was? She turned to the second page of sophomores and dropped the book to the floor. Colleen ran her hands through her hair and took a deep breath. “Can’t be.” Her hands shook as she picked the book back up. Joel Burkhart. Third picture from the right. But it wasn’t. It was Frank Lambert from Oklahoma City. Colleen closed her eyes and prayed to snap out of the nightmare that engulfed her. But when she opened her eyes, the picture remained. She sank to the floor and leaned against the foot of the bed. She stared at the picture. It was the same man. Well, a boy to a man, she mentally revised. But the same nonetheless. Why couldn’t she remember him? And why had he lied to her? Without thinking, she picked up the phone and dialed her brother’s number. -59-
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Mikey answered on the third ring. His sleep tainted “`Lo” made her cringe. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” “Of course you did. It’s two in the morning.” Mikey yawned. “What do you need?” “Sharon said you invited Joel Burkhart to the party.” “You called to ask about tonight’s guest list?” “Bear with me, please.” “Yeah I invited him, so?” “How long have you been friends with him? I don’t remember seeing him since high school.” Mikey grunted. “It’s Colleen.” Colleen heard Jessica, her sister-in-law, mumble something. “No, everything’s fine. Go back to sleep, hon.” “Tell Jessie I’m sorry for waking her.” “It’s okay. What did you ask me? Oh yeah, Joel. No, he hasn’t been around. He’s been up in Oklahoma working. Said he just moved back ‘bout three months ago.” “Hmm.” Colleen dropped her forehead to her knees and scratched the back of her neck. “Did he say something to upset you?” Mikey’s tone grew terse and surprisingly lucid for being sound asleep moments before. She sat up. “Uh, no. Why would you think that?” “Everyone knows he had the biggest crush on you in high school. After I invited him, I wondered if it was such a good idea.” “I didn’t know that.” “Of course not.” Sarcasm dripped off his words. “You had your head in the clouds with that Randall guy.” Jeffery Randall. How could she have forgotten him, too? Where had her mind been lately? That would explain why she never noticed Joel. -60-
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An inkling of a memory broke free. “Did Joel take Kathy Matthews to senior prom?” She asked more herself then anything. Mikey had been a sophomore at the University of Texas her senior year. She doubted he knew. “Yes, he did.” That curt rough tone had returned to his voice. “Oh geez.” “Yeah.” “No wonder I didn’t remember him. I completely blocked that out.” “I am glad to hear that.” Colleen’s senior prom date, none other that Jeffery Randall, the third, decided it would be a great night to swap dates. Too bad Colleen and Joel hadn’t been aware of this fact. Colleen remembered snippets from the night, but for the most part had removed the event from memory. She wondered if Jeffery and Kathy had ended up together. Probably not. How many prom dates ended in marriage? “Okay. Sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep.” “Mmm-hmm.” The phone clanked several times before Colleen heard the dial tone. Colleen held the phone cradled to her chest and walked to her kitchen. She stared inside the fridge long enough for condensation to coat the bottles of water before she decided food was not the answer. She looked down at the phone in her hand then dialed information. She wrote down the number listed for Joel Burkhart. On a whim, she also checked for Frank Lambert, but the operator had no one listed by that name in the Fort Worth area. Number in hand, she sat at her desk and turned on her computer. By rote, she checked e-mail and looked at her personal page to see what the weather would be the next day, then she logged onto the directory assistance page. She typed Joel’s number into a reverse look up and found his address. With the advances of modern technology, she also had a map to show her exactly where he lived. -61-
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She made a note of the map and jotted down the address on a piece of paper. The neighborhood from the map was a good twenty minutes from Colleen’s office. With a pair of old clunky mules and an open sweater thrown over her tshirt and sweats, Colleen locked up the house and went out to her car. A chill had settled in and frosted the windows. Colleen waited for the windows to clear before she headed out. She unwrapped a piece of cherry candy and popped it into her mouth, her bad habit since she quit smoking years before, all the while debating her next few minutes. Should she drive by and see if she indeed had the right house? Or should she just ring the damn door and demand an explanation? The cell phone next to her in the console vibrated and startled her. “Hello?” “Where in the hell are you?” “Kent?” “Who else would call you at two in the morning?” “What did you need?” “I want to know where you are.” Colleen thought fast. “I’m at the store. I needed to get some feminine products.” “Oh.” No man will question a woman when it comes to tampons. “What did you need, Kent?” “You were acting weird at the party and I wanted to make sure that you’re okay.” No. My world turned upside down. But that’s not anything I can tell you about. “I’m fine. Just had a hectic week at work with holidays coming up. Seems like everyone wanted to book a cruise last week. We…” “Okay, great. As long as nothing’s wrong.” Colleen raised an eyebrow at the interruption. Had he always been so -62-
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rude? She never noticed before. But she never before had anyone tell her she deserved better. Nor had she ever believed that she deserved better. “You get home and get to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Kent hung up. “Asshole.” Colleen gasped. What had come over her? Give her a backbone after all these years, throw in some risqué behavior, and all hell breaks loose. She dropped the phone back in the holder and turned on the car’s lights. With one last look at her warm, safe house, she put the car in gear and headed for West Grove Avenue. *
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“Corey, turn that crap down, dammit.” Joel had been in bed half an hour, but sleep eluded him. Why he’d ever decided to go to a bar was beyond him. He had tempted fate the first time and lost—big time. Tonight, cheap women and high priced booze did little to assuage his restlessness. “I’m trying to sleep.” The racket dipped a notch, though it didn’t improve Joel’s chance at sleep at all. A beat thumped from the front of the house but it didn’t follow the rhythm of the trash his younger brother called music. The beat sounded again but the music had ended. “What the hell…” Joel sat up in his bed and scrubbed his hand over his face. The five o’clock shadow hit daylight savings time and felt as thick as his three-day-camping beard. Corey opened the bedroom door and peeked his head in. “Man, there is some woman at the door for you.” His eyebrows waggled in comic proportion. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Who the hell pays visits at two-fifteen in the morning?” -63-
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“I don’t know. But don’t let her leave. If you don’t want her, I’ll take her.” Joel threw his pillow at the door. “Shut up, Pipsqueak.” “Red’s in the living room.” Corey picked up the pillow and lobbed it back at his brother. “You better hurry, she looks kinda pissed.” Red? Colleen. Joel grabbed a pair of jeans off the back of a chair and slipped them up over his lucky boxers—lucky that he’d remembered to wash clothes that week. He tried to button them but in his rush to get to the living room, his fingers couldn’t fasten the small metal disk. And he didn’t dare try to zip them for fear of catching something that might be needed later, if luck held out. He wished he could have grabbed a shirt too. But he didn’t want to give her a chance to change her mind and leave. He found Colleen with her back to him at the mantel. She held a picture of his parents, Corey, and himself at his college graduation. “Your brother looks just like you.” She didn’t turn around but did set the picture down. She reached out for the one beside it then hesitated. “So, Frank, you never did explain exactly how you know my brother.” Colleen took the next framed photo in her hand. She half-pivoted in his direction and waited for him to answer. Sweat popped out on his forehead. He had an uncontrollable urge to flee the room. To get in his car and drive until he ran out of gas. Anything would be better than admitting he had lied to her. But he stood his ground. “My name is not Frank.” She twisted on her heels and slapped the frame to her chest. “It’s not? How can that be?” Her saccharine sweet voice rang with sarcasm. “You said you were Frank Lambert from Oklahoma City.” “No. I never said that.” Joel ran his knuckles over his chest. The tacos he grabbed after he left the bar decided at that moment to remind him not to eat Mexican food just before bed. “You saw the name on the tag and assumed that was my name.” -64-
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He realized too late that was the wrong thing to say. Colleen’s eyes narrowed and she thumped the photo back onto the mantel. “Are you blaming me? Saying that it’s my fault I thought your name is Frank Lambert?” “No, it’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. It was a misunderstanding.” “What? Are you nuts? A misunderstanding is being twelve and putting two cups of baking powder in a cake for your parents instead of two tablespoons.” Joel wanted to smile, but thought better of it. “I don’t see… ” Colleen slapped her hand over his mouth. “What you did is called flatout lying, Joel Horace Burkhart.” Joel pulled her hand away and quickly released her, too aroused by the mere feel of her skin. Then he registered what she called him and he cringed. “Horace. That was my grandfather’s name.” “Yes. I know. Your brother provided me with that information, which is more than I ever got from you.” Joel flinched. “And, yes, it is your fault. You knew damn well who I was when you took me up to that hotel room.” “I never meant for any of that to happen. You have to believe me.” Colleen shoved her pointer finger into his chest. “Oh and you have been so honest up to this point.” “Now wait just a damn minute.” Joel wrapped his hand around her wrist and un-dug the finger from his pec. The scent of lavender wafted up, tickled his nose and distracted him. He wanted to lean into her and capture that pouty bottom lip in his mouth. Run his tongue over the taught nipples he could see through the thin cotton t-shirt she wore. But the fire in her eyes pulled him back on task. “I’m not the one getting married soon.” Some of the stiffness left her stance and she shrank away from him. She curled her fingers into a fist and tried to jerk her hand back. “Let go.” “Not if you’re going to keep poking me.” He rubbed the tender spot just -65-
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over his heart. She wiggled again and her breast—her braless breast—brushed up against his arm. She sucked in her breath. Heat swam in her eyes, but passion replaced the anger he’d seen moments before. Joel couldn’t stop when he leaned into her. He slid his other hand around her waist and pulled her so close her heart pounded against his chest. Only a thin shirt separated her breasts from his bare chest. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Colleen shifted her hips from side to side against him. “I have a clue.” Joel moaned then captured her mouth with his. She didn’t resist when his tongue slipped past her lips. He moaned at her sweet cherry flavor. Yearning consumed him. He ached all over for her. And he had to have her. Joel walked backwards with her in his arms until the couch hit the back of his legs. He fell onto the beige cushions and cradled her to his chest when she followed. He pulled back. “Damn. Gotta stop. Corey…” Colleen silenced him with a kiss. “Left before you came in here.” Joel growled and slid his hand down her back. Colleen kissed his neck as she traced his flat nipples with her fingers. Joel snatched the hem of her shirt and gave a slight tug. Colleen pushed away until she sat astride his hips. She tossed away her sweater then ripped the shirt over her head and bared herself to him. Joel leaned forward to seize a pink nub in his mouth. His tongue swirled around the tight point until he took it into his mouth. A heavy pant shook Colleen as she exhaled. She nestled her crotch right over his in a perfect fit then sank her fingers into his hair and held his head against her breast. Joel kissed a trail from one breast to the other. He laved the taut peak until she cried out. “Joel, Joel. Oh God.” Her breathy pant as she called his name caused him a moment of pause. He wanted to ask her to say it again. He had hated hearing her call a -66-
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different name when he was “pretending” to be someone else. But her agile hands slipped between them, delved into the front of his jeans and into his boxers, and brought him soundly back in the moment. Her hand circled his thick shaft and stoked. She nipped at his neck then used her tongue to sooth the skin until his lids shut, unable to stand the shear torture. Joel stilled her hand then shifted them until she lay under him. He made quick work of her stretchy pants and panties, this time careful not to tear the silken undergarment. He shucked his jeans and boxers and sank deep into Colleen. “Ohhh God.” Her fingernails bit into his back. Her hips moved in rhythm with his. Her tongue trailed down the side of his neck and he shuddered. “This is so good.” She took a gentle nip on his lip. “Mmm.” A grunt was as close to speaking as he could get. He pumped into her harder and harder, flew higher and higher until she cried out in release then he left himself follow. His release shook him and exhausted every cell in his body. Joel lay next to Colleen on the couch and tucked her head into his shoulder. “I want you to stay.” Joel tensed as he waited for her answer. “Mmm-hmm.” She snuggled closer. That was all the invitation he needed to carry her off to his room. She wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled his ear. He couldn’t understand how he got so lucky. He wanted nothing more than for Colleen to sleep in his bed. To see her face in the morning when he woke. He could picture waking up to her every morning. And that almost stopped him, almost kept him from walking down the hall to the third door on the right. Never before had he been tempted by marriage. But then again never before had he held Colleen in his arms. Could he offer her more than sex? Could he provide her with more love than he had shared with any other woman? He wasn’t sure he was ready to -67-
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consider more than pleasure in the bedroom. She took several small nips at his neck again, and then kissed the pain away. “You’re insatiable.” Laughter rumbled in his chest. “Mmm-hmm.” By the time he got her into his bed, he was hard and ready. He decided to figure out his future at a later date.
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Chapter Seven A heavenly aroma woke Colleen from a deep, dreamless sleep. She pried one eye open and immediately shut it. The bright morning sunlight blinded her. She rolled over and pressed her hand to the empty space beside her. “Joel?” Her raspy voice echoed in the empty room. She wondered how long she’d been alone, but the cold sheets held no clue. She sat up and let the sheets fall away from her. The cool morning air chilled her naked body. She searched the floor for her clothes then remembered they were probably still in the living room. Colleen found a discarded button-down shirt on a chair across the room. The shirt fell almost to her knees, but she didn’t care. Joel’s wonderful scent surrounded her and warmed her, as did the light-blue cotton. She let her nose follow the smell of the wonderful coffee that floated through the house. She entered the kitchen to find the refrigerator door open. A dark spiky mane of black hair peeked over the top. “Good morning.” The face that peered around the edge startled her. “Morning, Red.” “Corey. Um…hello.” He smiled at her and shut the fridge. He carried a carton of milk to the small dinette situated in the corner of the kitchen then sat and poured the milk in a bowl of chocolate marshmallow cereal. Colleen couldn’t help the grimace at the kid cereal that her nephews ate. But her gaze drew back to the younger Burkhart. -69-
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The spitting image of Joel, Corey watched her. He had the same intense gaze from water blue eyes. Unblemished tan skin captured a ruggedly healthy glow. His hair did have a slight curl to it that Joel’s didn’t. Still, it was as if the boy walked out of the pages of her high school yearbook. She couldn’t understand how she hadn’t recognized Joel the moment he came to her rescue. But as she told Mikey, she had blocked out most of the events surrounding her prom and, so it seemed, Joel vanished into a vague memory. Corey cleared his throat and brought her out of her reverie. “So you’re in college?” She pointed at his TCU t-shirt. “Yep. TCU. Third year.” He shoveled a huge spoonful of sugared cereal in his mouth. Colleen sat across the table from him. “What are you studying?” “I’m a RTVF major. Gonna be the next Spielberg.” “Ambitious, aren’t you?” She smiled at him despite the awkwardness of the morning after—when you wake to find someone else at the breakfast table. “Hey, if you’re gonna dream, dream big I always say.” “I can’t agree with you more.” Colleen snagged a bagel from the plate in the center of the table. She picked at the food and took a couple of bites. She couldn’t help to wonder where Joel had run off to. “Coffee?” Corey gave her a once over with an approving nod and wink. Heat surfaced in her cheeks. She wanted to run and jump back in the bed then pull the covers over her head and hide. Instead, she squared her shoulders and stood. “Sounds great.” Colleen walked to the counter, grabbed the closest mug, and poured the coffee. Before she could take a sip, an arm encircled her waist. “Paper, little brother.” A dull thud hit the table then Joel hugged her to him. He whispered as he nuzzled her neck, “Damn, you look good in the morning.” Colleen gasped as a sharp pain shot through her. A café au latte stain -70-
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coated the back of her hand. “Shit. I’m sorry.” Joel took the cup from her, set it on the table, and hurried her over to the sink. “Here, stick your hand under the water.” “Smooth move, Big Bro.” “Stuff it, Corey.” Joel cradled her hand in his. His chest pressed up against her back and she closed her eyes to inhale his musky scent. Flashes of the night with him overwhelmed her and claustrophobia engulfed her. What had she done? Again! She needed space and time to think of all the ramifications. Colleen shut off the water and pushed back against Joel. But he didn’t take the hint and move. He wrapped his arms around her waist again and kissed her cheek. “I’m fine. Thanks.” “You sure?” “Mmm-hmm.” “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Colleen swallowed hard. Pain would be the inevitable outcome where Joel was concerned. There was no other option. But that wasn’t what he meant. “My hand’s fine.” She waved it front of his face. “See.” She tried to pull free and finally managed to get away from him. “I need to go. I’m running late for work.” “It’s Saturday.” “Travel waits for no man.” She turned to face him and tried to smile, but it fell short when she saw the disappointment in his eyes. “Uh, Corey…” This was so awkward. She didn’t know what salutations were appropriate to say goodbye to the brother of the man with whom you’re having an affair. “See you later.” Colleen headed for Joel’s room. She could hear him behind her, but didn’t look over her shoulder, afraid she would change her mind and drag the man back to bed. The door shut while she scanned the floor for her clothes. “Damn. I left -71-
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them in the other room.” She pivoted on her heel and ran smack dab into Joel’s chest. He grabbed her shoulders and steadied her. “Colleen? Why are you trying to run out of here so fast?” “I’m—” For the first time she noticed what Joel had on. A faded Washington Redskins t-shirt topped a pair of gray sweats. “The Redskins? You like the Redskins?” She looked up at him, could concentrate better on the piercing blue eyes than on the t-shirt that molded to two perfectly formed pecs. Pecs that just a few hours before her tongue had traced which led her down to... He laughed. “Yeah. My dad grew up in D.C.” With his lips curved in amusement at her, all thought fled. She wanted to taste him again, to feel him inside her. But she couldn’t let it happen again. She latched onto the only other thing she could think of. “How can you live in Cowboys’ country and wear a shirt like that? You have a lot of nerve.” Joel had a stunned look on his face and Colleen took advantage of his loss of brain function. She elbowed him in the ribs and pushed past him to get to the door. She stomped down the hall. Her bare feet did little more than slap the hardwood floors but she felt better. She found her clothes in a pile next to the couch. Corey walked into the room, took one look at the fury on her face, and made a hasty retreat. Colleen smiled to herself. Men. They’d rather run than face any kind of trouble. The thought shook her. That was exactly what she was doing too. But it wasn’t the same thing. And if she told herself that enough, she might eventually believe it. She located her keys on an end table and opted to change clothes later, at home. She slipped her feet into her flats and headed for the door just as Joel emerged from the hall. “Hey. Don’t leave yet. Talk to me. Please.” “I can’t stay. This—” She motioned between the two of them. “This should never have happened.” Joel fisted his hands on his hips. “Which time?” -72-
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Heat crawled up her cheeks. At the rate she kept blushing, she could tell Gritty Girl cosmetics to take their rouge and shove off. “Look, Joel, neither of us needs this complication right now. Let’s pretend it never happened.” “Yeah right.” He ducked his head and his shoulders lifted on a sigh. “I have something for you.” Colleen blinked and straightened her shoulders. “Just hang on a second.” Joel dashed down the hall and came back with a small black cloth in his hand. “I think this belongs to you.” He tossed it to her. Colleen looked at the torn panties from their first night together. She opened her mouth to say something, although she had no idea what. But the blare of the telephone stopped her. It rang a second time but Joel just stared at the floor. At the third ring, Corey called from the kitchen, “I got it.” A moment later, he peered around the door. “Uh, Joel. Laurie’s on the phone.” Joel’s head popped up. Crimson stains colored his cheeks as his eyes shifted from his brother to Colleen and back. Colleen shot an eyebrow up. “You self-righteous—” She raced for the door. Joel ran after her. But she saw him clip the table next to the couch and cry out in pain. His limped gait was no match for her. Bare-assed and bare-legged for the second time since she’d run into Joel, Colleen got into her car and locked the door. She didn’t look at him when he banged on her window. “Colleen.” His voice muffled through the window. “Please. Let me explain.” Famous last words. Didn’t every man utter those words before he either lied to you or tried to spin a situation in his favor? Colleen backed down the driveway in a screech of tires. On the street, she grimaced when the car bucked as she threw it into drive. She fought a brave fight and refused to look in the rearview mirror. But as she turned the -73-
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corner, temptation won out. She saw Joel in the middle of the street, his hands on his hips, his head drooped and she nearly turned around. But God help her, she would not give up the security Kent offered for a sexual whim with a fantastic lover. She couldn’t take that risk. *
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“What took you so long?” “I was outside getting the paper,” Joel lied with accomplished ease. Hadn’t he been lying for a solid week now without batting an eye? “Oh. Okay.” He could hear a hesitation in Laurie’s voice. “What’s Corey doing there?” “He wanted to come home for the weekend.” “Why didn’t he just go to your parents?” Joel frowned. “What’s with the twenty questions about my brother?” “Well, I was hoping you’d be alone.” Joel closed his eyes and raked a hand through his hair. He could picture Laurie, a finger twirled in her long blond hair. “Why?” Her purring laughter made his gut twist. But not with unadulterated lust as it once did, but in disgust. “To see you, silly. It’s been a while since…we’ve been together.” Joel paced the length of the kitchen, the wood floor cold on his bare feet. “I thought we’d been through this. Laurie, it’s over.” “You don’t mean that.” She laughed again. But her attempt at gaiety sounded forced. “You just need time to get use to the idea.” “Laurie, marriage is the furthest thing from my mind.” At least it had been until Colleen Nance walked back into his life. “I told you that.” “You did.” “And you said ‘if you don’t marry me, I’m outta here.’ I think that’s a direct quote if my memory’s still good.” -74-
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“Well, I—” “I told you that it was a shame I would have to decline your generous offer.” “But, I—” “You called me, what was that again?” Joel eased his hip onto the kitchen counter. “Oh yeah, I remember. You called me a sanctimonious twit without the sense of a gnat.” “Joel, I didn’t mean it. You know that.” “You gave me an ultimatum. And unfortunately for you, I don’t do well with ultimatums.” “Joel, please don’t be that way. I’m willing to renegotiate.” “Laurie, marriage is not a negotiable contract.” Although he knew many people that would argue that was exactly what marriage was all about. But not to his mind. “You either love someone enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them, or you don’t. I was nowhere near ready to make that kind of commitment to you. I’m still not.” But if Colleen came to him with the same demands… Could he see himself with her? Damn straight, he could. “I thought you loved me, Joel.” Tears coated Laurie’s words. He fisted his hand on the countertop. “I did. I do, just not—” She sniffled. “Not what?” “Not enough. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” He hadn’t, but what could he do? He had had doubts before he found Colleen again. Now he knew for certain he didn’t have a future with Laurie. “But I thought you’d change your mind when you had time to miss me.” “I’m sorry.” She screamed into the phone. Joel had to hold the receiver away from his head to keep his eardrum from damage. “You…you…jerk.” Laurie slammed the phone down. Joel sighed and returned the receiver to the cradle. -75-
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Corey sauntered into the kitchen. “Didn’t go well, huh?” “No, Laurie’s pissed.” Corey narrowed his gaze at his brother. “I meant with Colleen.” He shook his head. “I never thought of you as a player, Joel.” Joel straightened his shoulders. “I beg your pardon.” “She’s engaged. Don’t get me wrong. I like Colleen. Nice girl.” Corey crossed his arms over his chest and struck a casual pose. “And I’m no saint. But I don’t pa-diddle in someone else’s backyard.” “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” “So…” Corey examined the back of his hand. “You didn’t sleep with her last night? Her clothes thrown all over the living room was my imagination?” “I’m not the one who’s engaged.” Joel shoved away from the counter and held his hands at his side so as not to pummel his brother. “I can’t help it if Kent can’t keep a leash on his woman. Hell, the man doesn’t even deserve her.” “And you do?” “Shut up, Corey. You’re pushing it.” “Fine. Whatever you say, big brother.” Corey grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge then headed out the back door. “Damn!” Joel slammed his hands on the counter. How could one woman tear him up so bad? He knew his brother was right. But he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t even be mad at Colleen. He’d heard how that asshole spoke to her. He just couldn’t figure out why she was marrying the guy. She hadn’t said a word about calling off her wedding. Hell, they barely said a word about anything to one another. “That’s going to change.” Joel headed for his desk in the living room. He opened the phonebook to the T’s. “Aw, geez.” He stared down at the hundred or so travel agencies listed in Fort Worth alone. How in the hell would he find her? God help him if she worked in a suburb or worse, Dallas. It could take him weeks to find her. -76-
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“Gotta try.” Joel sat down in his ergonomic chair and used his thumb to underline the first phone number. An hour—and half the list—later, he dialed Markham Travel. “Yes, I’m looking for Colleen Nance.” “I’m sorry—” Joel held his finger over the end button, poised to disengage yet another unhelpful agent. “—she’s stepped out of the office at the moment.” “Thank you,” he said by rote then realized what the woman said. “She did. Oh. Okay. Do you know when you expect her back?” “Half an hour or so. She’s just delivering tickets to one of her customers. Was there something I could help you with?” In his excitement, Joel lifted his hand from the phonebook and couldn’t quite remember which agency he’d called. “Um, yes, could you tell me where your office is again? I seem to have misplaced my directions.” “Sure. We’re at the corner of Main and Maplewood. Next to the coffee shop.” In Keller. Not far from his house on the outskirts of Fort Worth. “Thank you. Thank you. You just made my day.” The girl giggled on the other end of the phone. “You’re welcome, sir.”
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Chapter Eight Colleen rubbed her temples. The pressure behind her eyes increased as the day went on, but she was determined to finish her shift. She stifled a groan and reached into her bottom drawer for the bottle of over-the-counter migraine pills. The bell on the door rang as she swallowed the second caplet. “I’ll be with you in just a second.” “That’s fine. I’m in no hurry.” Colleen paused with a glass raised to her mouth. She turned so fast water spilled out and down the front of her shirt. A jet-black eyebrow arched upward. “You might want to take that off so the stain won’t set.” Her stomach pitched and threatened to return the medicine. “Joel!” Colleen snagged a tissue and dabbed at the wet shirt but did little more than leave traces of lint across the navy silk. “What are…how did you find…” “Phonebook.” “Why?” “May I?” Joel motioned to the seat in front of Colleen’s desk. She nodded mutely. “I want to ask you to dinner.” Colleen opened her mouth to decline, but Joel raised his hand and paused her. “As old friends. I just want to talk to you. Get to know you better. We haven’t really spoken to each other.” -78-
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Heat burned her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. “I want to get reacquainted. That’s all. Nothing more.” Colleen didn’t know what to think. Was this some kind of trick? But what would he have to gain jerking her around? “As old friends?” “Yeah. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sharon told me you get together with some of the other girls from high school at least once a year to catch up.” Colleen worried her lip and eased back in her chair. “I don’t know.” “Come on. What could it hurt?” “Coffee break.” Peggy pushed through the door. “Oh, sorry.” Joel and Colleen both stood abruptly. “Peggy, hey. This is, ah, Joel, a friend from high school.” Colleen had been too embarrassed to tell Peggy about the mix up with Joel’s identity. Furthermore, she couldn’t possibly tell her she’d slipped again and ended up in bed with the man a second time. Joel turned his back to watch Peggy. Colleen waved frantically and silently pleaded with her friend to ask no questions. Peggy gave an infinitesimal nod. “Nice to meet you, Joel.” But she eyed the man as she walked to Colleen’s desk. “Here you go. One mocha-latte.” She set the coffee on the desk and moved to the back where her own desk sat. “Thanks, Peggy. Oh, Mr. Webster called. He said his wife wanted to change her suite again. Something about her spiritualist doing her numbers. The tenth floor is out for some reason.” “Damn, damn, damn. I’ve changed that room four times already. If they weren’t one of my best customers, I’d send them over to Kathy in Southlake. Thanks, honey.” Peggy picked up her phone after one more glance at Joel then was lost in Webster-world with the eccentric couple. “So what do you think? Will you come out with me tonight—as friends?” Against her better judgment, Colleen nodded then looked at her watch. “My shift ends in three hours.” She glanced up and a straight set of pearly whites flashed her. -79-
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“I’ll be back then.” He hesitated as if he wanted to say something else. He just shook his head and waved as he went through the door. Butterflies twittered in her stomach and she wondered if she hadn’t just made a huge error. “Spill it, honey,” Peggy called from her desk. “No thanks, already did that.” She fanned her wet shirt and tried to wipe the puffs of white lint that clung in odd spots. Peggy clicked her tongue. “No way. You tell me what’s going on or you may have to stay and fill out the revisions for the Websters.” Colleen gasped in mock horror. “That’s blackmail.” “Darn tootin’.” Peggy edged her hip onto the desk, crossed her arms over her ample bosom, and waited. “He was a football buddy of my brothers.” “And he stopped by to get Mikey’s address?” “No. He wanted to catch up on old times.” “With you?” “Why are you so shocked? I’m not the village idiot you know. People do speak to me and value my opinion.” Peggy laughed and leaned forward. “You’ve become quite the popular girl as of late.” She went back to her own desk. “When you get a chance you might be so kind as to share your secret with me.” “You’re obnoxious. You know that, right?” Peggy smiled brightly. “Yeah, but you love me just the same.” “I do, but heaven help me, I don’t know why.” *
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Colleen checked her watch for the twelfth time – ten minutes to go. Her palms sweated and she’d swear little polka dots did the mambo before her. Breathe in. Breathe out. She repeated the phrase in her mind. It wouldn’t look good if she passed out before Joel ever showed up. -80-
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Especially since she had come to a huge conclusion. She couldn’t marry Kent. She knew deep down she didn’t want to be married just for the sake of having a child. Hell, she could do that all on her own as long as sperm banks stayed in business. And she had Joel. She could have hoped for a better beginning to a relationship, but the chemistry they share far surpassed her wildest imagination. But what if he didn’t want her? What if it was only sex to him? “You okay, honey?” Peggy rubbed Colleen’s shoulder. “You don’t look so good.” “My headache came back.” She hated lying to her friend. She had to put all her negative thoughts aside. Joel was sincere. No one could fake that amount of affection however tenuous the beginning. “Why don’t you go ahead and go?” “You sure?” Peggy nodded and answered the phone. Colleen shoved her arms into her sweater and grabbed her purse. She winked at her friend as she left. “Hey there.” Colleen jumped when Joel put his hands on her shoulders and spoke from behind her. He gave her a quick squeeze then came to her side. The cool autumn wind whipped his hair around. His eyes sparkled with mischief. “Hey yourself.” “You all set?” Colleen nodded. Joel situated his hand on the small of her back and walked her toward the end of the block. “I changed my mind about dinner.” Her shoulders sagged. “Oh.” “I had a better idea.” Joel stopped in front of a huge silver pick-up truck and waggled his eyebrows. “Are you up for some adventure?” “I’m not so sure I can stand much more excitement in my life right -81-
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now.” Joel laughed. The door lock snicked up when he pressed a button on his key fob. “This will be fun. I promise you. Trust me.” He opened the passenger door, his face anxious. “Yeah, sure. Why the heck not?” A smile split his face. “Great.” He held out a hand to help her into the colossal truck. When he climbed into the truck, his excitement was contagious and Colleen couldn’t help ask, “So, where are we going?” “If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise. But I think you’ll like it so don’t worry.” “Can you give me a hint?” “Hmm, let me see.” He eased the truck into the late afternoon traffic then rubbed his chin. “A hint. A hint. Okay, got one. In high school, I was way too cool to ever consider doing this.” Colleen twisted in the seat to get a better view of Joel. “Too cool, huh?” He nodded. What would a teenage boy be too cool to do? Just about anything if her memory of Mikey’s adolescents served her well. She shrugged her shoulders. “I have no idea.” “Hint number two. It’s fast paced. You get a good work out.” “Oh really.” Colleen covered her mouth to hide an indecent smile. Joel glanced at her. “You have a dirty mind, missy.” “What? I didn’t say a word.” She feigned innocence and adjusted the visor to block the western sun from her face. “I saw that smile.” He shook his head. “Okay, we’re almost there. Close your eyes and please don’t open them again until I tell you.” Nerves skittered under Colleen’s skin, but she did as Joel asked. “No peeking, now.” Colleen giggled. “I won’t.” -82-
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The suspension in the truck jostled her, but she held tight to the door and didn’t open her eyes. Tempted as she might be, it was exhilarating not knowing where they were headed. It had been a long time since she’d gotten a surprise or did something for fun. The truck slowed then took one final corner before it stopped. Colleen heard Joel shift it into park and turn the engine off. She expected him to say something but he didn’t. Nerves and curiosity warred, but she kept her eyes shut tight like he asked. The creak of leather then the gentle touch of his fingers on her neck startled her. His soft lips molded to hers in an all-to-brief kiss. “We’re here.” His uneven, breathy voice tickled her cheek. Did she affect him as he did her? “You can open you eyes now.” Colleen laughed when she saw the dilapidated building before her. “Skate City?” “Yes, ma’am.” He scooted out his door and hurried around the front end of the truck to help her down. “I’ve always wanted to come here. I just never had the chance.” Colleen absorbed his excitement and used it to fuel her own anticipation. She hadn’t been to Skate City since she was twelve and her best friend, Gail, had a party. As they headed for the front door, a memory flashed from the morning and played across Colleen’s mind and she stopped. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? Was it too late to tell him she wanted to go home? Instead, restored by her new since of strength, she asked, “What about Laurie?” Joel turned to look at her, his frown burrowed deep in his forehead. “There’s nothing to it. She and I broke up months ago. I tried to explain that this morning but you shot out of there before I had a chance.” Colleen ducked her head and kicked at the pebbled parking lot. Joel grasped her chin and lifted her face until she looked at him. “Let’s -83-
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not worry about anything for now. We’re old friends, out for an evening of fun and catching up. Nothing more, nothing less.” He released her face and held his hand out to her. She took it and let him pull her to his side. He gave her a quick hug. Joel didn’t belabor the fact that she herself had a significant other. And at the moment, if he didn’t care, neither did she. If that made her callous, well, it was the first time in a long that she could remember doing something just for her. For no other reason than she wanted to. For so long she felt like she lived her life for her parents and for Kent. But today at Skate City, I’m going to have fun for me, she told herself. I deserve it. Still, a part of Colleen wondered if she was making a mistake. But the look of utter relaxation, total enjoyment on Joel’s face eased Colleen’s fear. “You’re sure?” Joel nodded and crossed the lot with her in tow. “I have to warn you—” Colleen tugged on Joel’s hand. “I haven’t done this in years.” They stepped through the double glass doors. Darkness engulfed them. It took a minute for Colleen’s eyes to adjust to the dim light but finally she could see the little booth where the clerk took the money. “Two, please.” Joel paid the clerk then escorted Colleen to the skate counter. “Dang it. I don’t have any socks.” She held her loafer clad foot up. Of all the days to rip her last pair of knee-highs. Joel held his finger up and pulled something from his pocket. “Way ahead of you.” He handed her a pair of white fuzzy socks with a tag that hung from the toe. “I stopped at the drugstore before I picked you up.” Warmth spread through her chest. No man, with the exception of her father, had ever been that thoughtful to her—ever. She took the socks, leaned up on tiptoes, and kissed Joel’s cheek. -84-
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Joel chucked her under the chin and grabbed the two pairs of skates the kid put on the counter. “This way, madam.” He held his arm aloft to let her go ahead of him. The small waiting area had several rows of benches and cubbies to store shoes. Colleen picked a vacant spot in the back corner and pulled the tag off the socks. She surveyed the area as she slipped her feet into the skates. Two groups of birthday party kids filled the snack area and a halfdozen or so smaller groups littered the rink and the benches. She glanced over at Joel. A huge smile beamed as he watched a preteen couple hang onto one another as they rolled around the parquet floor. He caught Colleen’s eye and motioned to the kids. “Do you ever remember being that young?” She shook her head and smiled. “If I recall at twelve I knew everything about life.” “And at thirty?” “I haven’t the vaguest idea.” They laughed together and Joel stood. He wobbled once or twice but didn’t fall. “Ready to strut your stuff, Miss Nance?” Colleen tried to get to her feet but the wheeled shoes didn’t cooperate and she sank back to the bench. “Um, not sure that I can.” “You just need a boost.” Joel’s hands encircled her waist and helped her on upright, but unsteady legs. When she had her balance, she looked up at Joel but he didn’t move his hands. “Thanks for coming here with me.” His lips descended on hers. “Ew!” Four little voices nearby broke into Colleen’s lustful haze. She pulled back from Joel and glanced down at four little mop-headed kids. They whispered and giggled and then rolled to the other end of the floor. Silent laughter shook Joel’s hands and threatened to knock Colleen back to her butt. “Enough of that, big guy, you promised me skating.” -85-
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“I sure did.” They edged to the floor. The step down, probably only six inches looked to be a two-foot drop, but Colleen braved the worst of her fear and stepped off the edge. She juggled and joggled until she could move her feet in a semblance of normal skating. Joel followed her out onto the rink and took her hand. “Thanks again for the socks.” “Always be prepared.” He held two fingers to his forehead and saluted her. “I was a boy scout until I was fifteen.” “I didn’t know that.” “Yeah, well, not many people did. Then I got into football and didn’t have the time for scouts.” “Huh? You learn something new everyday.” Together they circled the floor to the top pop tunes. Kids on rollerblades passed them in a whirl of motion. Little kids on regular skates did intricate turns and maneuvers. Joel and Colleen just held onto one another and looped the floor. “I never got to do scouts. My dad was in the army and we moved around a lot when I was younger. I hated making new friends so making a group of friends at one time terrified me. ” “I can’t picture you being afraid of anything.” “Oh, you’d be surprised.” She didn’t think he heard her when she spoke under her breath. “What made y’all move to Fort Worth?” “My mom’s brother lives here and at the time my grandparents did. They moved to Florida a couple of years ago.” A slow song replaced the fast-paced music. Several couples skated together. One group of birthday party kids, all boys, left the rink. Joel let go of Colleen and sped ahead. He twisted until he was skating backwards then slowed until he moved right in front of her. “Impressive.” She looped her hands around his neck and let him lead -86-
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her around the floor. Halfway through the third stanza, their skates bumped. Both wobbled and threatened to topple to the floor. “Oh. Careful.” “Don’t worry, Colleen. I won’t let you fall.”
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Chapter Nine Joel mentally kicked himself for the corny line that popped out of his mouth. But Colleen didn’t laugh or shoot a jibe. A subtle expression crossed her face then a smile tilted the corners of her mouth. “I bet you wouldn’t.” Her soft words barely carried over the din of the rink. But he heard them. His heart pounded with what that small amount of dialogue added up to. With it, so many promises were made. So many promises he wanted to give her. And for the first time, he knew he could. But why did she look so sad? Why did tears gather in the corners of her eyes? He didn’t want to know what put her in a melancholy mood. He was afraid it would bring him down from the best day he’d had in a long while. They skated for another hour and a half and discussed everything they could think of. He learned more about her in that short ninety minutes than he had his last three girlfriends. He told Colleen secrets he’d never shared with any woman. He didn’t know why, but he felt free and open with her. But as another slow song came over the speakers, Joel noticed Colleen grimace. He skidded to a halt in the far corner of the floor. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” Her wan smile belied her words. He guided her over to the benches and sat her at the nearest one. His attempt to squat before her left him flat on his butt at her feet. Colleen covered her mouth to hide her laughter. She held out a hand to -88-
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help him up. “Your Grace.” “Yuck it up now, honey, but just you wait.” Joel yanked her down on top of him. Her gasp turned to laughter then faded and a solemn look crept through her eyes. Joel fought wheels and gravity but he finally managed to get them both on the bench. “Now that I have embarrassed myself, can you tell me what’s wrong?” She ducked her head. “My legs hurt.” “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” “You were having such a good time, I didn’t want to spoil it.” Joel rubbed his knuckles over her cheek. “I’m having a good time because I’m with you.” “I bet you say that to all the girls.” “No, just you.” “Joel, this—” He put his finger over her lips. “Not now.” He moved his finger and gave her a quick peck. “Let’s get these skates off and blow this popsicle stand.” In the truck, Joel held onto Colleen’s hand. His need to touch her, to keep a connection, grew stronger the closer they got to the travel agency where she left her car. “Why don’t you wear a ring?” Joel rubbed the pad of his thumb over her left ring finger. “Kent thought it was too pretentious.” “In other words, the bastard’s too cheap to buy you one.” Colleen slapped Joel’s arm, but laughed. The remainder of the ride neither spoke. A lead weight of apprehension sat heavy on his chest as he pulled into the parking lot behind Markham Travel. “I really—” “Would you—” “You go ahead.” Colleen fisted her hands in her lap. “I just wanted to say I had a really good time.” -89-
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“Me, too.” Her fingers worried the hem of her shirt. “Would you like to come over for dinner?” He thought his heart would hammer out of his chest. God, he felt like that seventeen-year-old boy again when he drove her home from the prom. The same boy that was too damn nervous to ask her out. “You want to cook dinner for me?” Colleen nodded. “It’s the least I can do. The very least, actually. I’m a terrible cook.” He didn’t care. Hell, he’d eat mud pies with fried worms if it got him an invitation to her house, an invitation to spend more time with her. “We could order a pizza. Or Chinese food.” Did he sound as desperate to her as he did to his own ears? The first genuine smile broke across her face since they got in his truck. “Okay. I have menus for twenty-five different restaurants at my house.” “Twenty-five?” “When you can’t cook you learn where all the take-out places are. You can just follow me back to my house.” She gave him directions to an area he knew well. He couldn’t help but smile. He and Colleen. Who’d have figured that? But on the short drive, his spirits sank when he remembered she wasn’t his for the taking. She did belong to another man. Had his brother been right? Was he playing a game? He didn’t think so. Maybe he was some kind of masochist, because he knew he only had a few days with Colleen. And he’d take that over never having had the chance. He would rather recall the taste of her skin, the feel of her surround him when he sank deep into her. He would rather have a memory of her scream out his name as her eyes glazed over in repletion. That was worth the pain his heart would suffer when she said good-bye, when she married that other man. -90-
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At a light two blocks from her house, Joel sat straighter in his seat, his hands clenched the steering wheel. Why did he have to say good-bye? Why did he have to let her go? She couldn’t possibly love her fiancé enough if she could so easily be with him. And she admitted that they hadn’t been close much. So why would she continue with a farce of a marriage? What did Kent have to offer her? What did he have that Joel didn’t? A marriage proposal. That was the only possibility. It sure as hell wasn’t the man’s personality. Nor could it be the way he treated her. Granted Kent was a junior accountant with a top company in the metroplex, Joel had over heard that much at the party. Hell, Joel made as much money if not more. But was Joel ready to offer her marriage? Could he forsake his bachelor ways to make a commitment that strong, that unbreakable with Colleen? Damn straight, he could. Just the thought of her and Kent made his stomach turn. The thought of her belly round with another man’s child made his vision blur with a red haze. “She’s mine, dammit.” Joel pounded a fist on the console. “Now I have to find a way to convince her before it’s too late.” *
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Colleen’s hands shook as she unlocked her front door. She led Joel into the living room and watched him look around. The painting on the far wall drew his attention. “Great art work.” “Sharon painted it.” His eyes widened and he checked out the painting again. “Our little Sharon?” Our? She liked the sound of Joel included in her family, though she new he meant it from their school-age days. “Yes. She’s quite the artist.” “I’ll say.” -91-
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Apprehension shook Colleen’s nerve. She couldn’t tell Joel yet about her decision. “Hungry?” “Famished.” “Kitchen’s this way.” Joel followed her through the house. In the kitchen, she motioned for him to sit at the bar. She opened a drawer and dragged out a stack of menus. “Okay we’ve got Mexican, Italian, all the ‘ese’s or just about anything else you can think of. What are you hungry for?” “You.” Heat pooled in her stomach. This man was far too sexy for his own good. “Would you stop?” Memories of his touch ignited within, burned. She shifted to lessen the tightness between her thighs then fanned herself with the papers before she held them out to Joel. “Pick one.” “How about Italian?” He snagged the menu for Colleen’s favorite restaurant and waved it in the air. “Good choice.” They skimmed the menu then Colleen called in and placed the order. “They said it would be about an hour. They’re swamped tonight.” “So we have a little time to kill?” Colleen gulped when Joel slid off the stool and rounded the corner. He grasped her waist and pulled her flush against him. He nuzzled her neck. “I can think of a few things to pass the time.” His hands slid under the hem of her shirt. Then he undid her pants and traced his finger under the elastic band. He let his fingers go lower and lower still until he sank a finger deep inside her. Nipples hard and roughened against her bra, Colleen anticipated the wave that tightened her belly, heated all over. It started slowly and built until she tensed around his finger. When it became too much to bear, she threw her head back, moaned, and grasped his shoulders tight to keep from falling over as her knees weakened from pure ecstasy. Her breath caught in her lungs as her climax flooded her. She went limp in his arms. -92-
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Joel growled in her ear. He eased her up on the counter and went for his belt buckle. Colleen didn’t know where she found the strength, but she stilled his hands. “You know, we’ve been lucky up to this point, me being on the Pill, but I…I don’t want to tempt fate.” Joel just stared at her as if confused. “Problem is, I don’t have any condoms.” He raised an eyebrow. “None?” “I haven’t needed them. I meant it when I said I haven’t, you know, slept with…anyone.” “Why are you on the Pill then?” “My doctor prescribed it to keep me regular.” Warmth crept over her cheeks. “Aw geez, Joel I don’t want to talk about this.” He chuckled and continued to unfasten his trousers. She stilled his hands again. “We shouldn’t without—” Both eyebrows rose and a wicked smile crooked his lips. “I didn’t just buy socks at the drug store.” “Always prepared.” She helped him remove his shirt. “What a man.” *
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Colleen’s stomach growled. She turned and looked at the clock next to her bed. Nine-forty-five, she couldn’t believe it. After a quick meal of lasagna and manicotti, Joel had kept her occupied most of the night. When they finally stopped to rest, daylight peeked past the curtains. Joel’s arm slipped around her waist and pulled her toward him. “Mornin’.” He kissed behind her ear. “We slept half the morning away.” She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed each finger. “Hungry?” “Always.” “I meant for food.” She nudged his arm. -93-
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“How about a shower first?” Joel kissed her neck then shifted until he towered over her and waggled his eyebrows. “You could join me.” A slow smile spread across her face. “Okay. Let me just go get some more towels.” “You stay here. I’ll get them.” He sat up on the edge of the bed. “Tell me where they’re at.” “Hall closet. Two doors down.” Joel leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. “Be right back.” How did I ever get so lucky, she wondered. She’d died and gone to Mr. Perfect heaven, that had to be it. Joel returned with two foam green towels and a frown. “Why is your wedding dress hanging in the linen closet?” Heat raced up her cheeks. “So I don’t have to look at it.” “Why wouldn’t you want to look at it?” Because she didn’t want to think about her marriage. Even before she met Joel, she had had second thoughts. “You wouldn’t understand.” “Try me.” “I’ve already had you. And I think I want some more.” Colleen tugged at the towels in his hand, but Joel resisted. “You’re trying to change the subject.” “Yes. And you’re turning down sex.” Joel lifted an eyebrow when Colleen stood on the bed. “Come here, lover boy.” “Oh, no you’re not going to get out of talking to me.” Colleen stayed in the middle of the bed aware that her au-natural wardrobe afforded the man across from her quite a view. Still he stood with his arms crossed over his chest, the two foam green towels clutched as pompoms. “Colleen.” His mock sternness almost made her laugh, but instead she puffed out her lower lip. “Not working?” -94-
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He shook his head. “Nope.” But in the nether regions, the telltale sign of his fib became evident. She pointed to the chair. “Can you hand me that shirt?” Joel tossed her his oxford and waited patiently while she buttoned up. “Okay. Talk to me.” Colleen opened her mouth though still not ready to tell him she’d changed her mind and decided she couldn’t marry Kent, so she did the first thing that came to mind. She sang a silly striptease song she had seen in a movie and tugged at the hem of Joel’s shirt. Then she unbuttoned the top two buttons and turned her back on the man. She let the shirt dip and rolled first one shoulder then the other until her entire back shown. Then she pulled the shirt back on and covered herself as she faced him again. She watched a muscle in Joel’s jaw tick as she undid one button after another until the only thing that held the shirt closed were her hands. He swallowed hard and his eyes dilated with pure desire. When she let the garment fall to her feet, she undulated her hips with a seductive swing. Her breasts swayed with every movement. “Talk is cheap.” Joel tossed the towels down, leapt at her, and dragged her under him. He found a condom and rolled it on. They both sighed as he entered her. Colleen wrapped her legs around Joel’s waist and rocked into each thrust. She kissed his neck and whispered tempting offers in his ear. Joel pumped and pumped until finally they both flew over the edge of repletion. When his shudders ceased, he dropped to the bed beside her and kissed her temple. As his breathing evened, he said, “Now tell me why you don’t want to look at it.” Colleen moaned. “Not fair.” “All’s fair in love and war.” -95-
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He said the “L” word. Did she hear that right? She smiled and ran her fingernails up his broad back. He moaned and nuzzled her neck. “You still haven’t answered my question.” Was she ready to tell him she had decided to call off the wedding? To give herself over totally to him? A niggling of doubt shot through her. “Tell me something first.” Joel nibbled on her ear lobe. “What’s that?” “Why didn’t it work out between you and Laurie?” Joel lifted up and looked at Colleen. “I told you. That’s over.” “I know. I’m just curious.” Colleen pushed locks of hair off Joel’s forehead while she waited. “Laurie wanted to get married and I didn’t.” Joel slid off the bed. Blood roared in Colleen’s ears. He didn’t want to get married. She knew that it was a long shot to want him in her life permanently. And sometimes when you roll the dice—you get craps. Oblivious to the resignation running through her head, Joel smiled at her and held out his hand. “If you’re going to keep avoiding my question, let’s avoid it in the shower. Ready?” “Um, no. You go ahead. I think I want to get some more sleep.” “All right.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. Colleen watched Joel’s remarkable, naked body head into the bathroom. When he shut the door, Colleen rolled over and buried her face in her pillow to stifle her scream. “How could I be so stupid?” Her muffled chant did little to appease the pain in her chest. She lay there until she heard the water in the bathroom shut off. Then she jumped from the bed and dressed quickly in a pair of sweats and a tshirt from the laundry she had yet to fold and put away. Joel came in with a towel hung low on his athletic waist. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her, but she backed away. “Could you get dressed? We need to talk.” -96-
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A frown knitted his eyebrows. “Sure. What’s going on?” “I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.” Colleen turned and left him in her bedroom. Thoughts reeled and the pain tightened her chest more. Joel didn’t want to get married. A couple of minutes later, Joel joined her at the kitchen table. “Colleen, what’s going on?” “It’s time for you to go.” “What? I don’t…” Colleen sipped a soda and hoped he didn’t see how bad her hands shook. She would much rather have had coffee, but at that point cold caffeine was better than no caffeine. “Look, Joel, it’s been fun, but I have a wedding in a week and I have to started getting ready.” He stilled. Colleen saw a discernable trace that his breath still flowed otherwise she might have thought the world froze. Then his jaw tightened and through gritted teeth he said, “You can’t be serious.” Colleen studied her fingernails in feigned casualness. “Now, why not? Men have their little flings before they get married. Why can’t I? Consider this—” She motioned between them. “My own private bachelorette party.” His eyes narrowed and he rubbed a hand over his morning stubble. “That’s low.” “Come on now, Joel. What did you expect? You knew I was getting married. Well, maybe not the first night. And that’s entirely my fault.” She patted the balled fist he set on the counter. “But ever since the party, you knew the score. Please don’t act surprised.” “Where is this coming from?” The hurt in his face shot straight to her heart. Colleen wanted to retract all the lies. Tell him the truth. But could she? Tell Joel she’d fallen in love with him? -97-
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What if he didn’t care? What if he said he’d just been having fun too? She knew he didn’t want marriage and a life without marriage... The look on his face made her reconsider, made her think that he might love her too, but it was a risk she wasn’t willing to take. She had a man ready to marry her. Colleen blinked her eyes and placed a hand to her chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I think you need to leave.” She checked the clock on the stove. “My fiancé will be here before too long and I wouldn’t want him catching you sneaking out.” Joel’s chest puffed up and he looked as if he wanted to say something. Instead, he turned and went down the hall. He returned, his shoes in hand, but didn’t spare her a look as he stalked past her to the front door. “Don’t go away mad, Joel,” she called after him. “It was a lot of fun.” She cringed as his shoulders stiffened.
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Chapter Ten Colleen and Kent sat at the opposite ends of the sofa. She’d called him shortly after Joel left. His surprise at her offer to cook lunch for him confused her as much as it hurt her. But since he’d arrived, neither made any attempt at small talk. She leaned forward and looked at her polished fiancé. What had she ever seen in him? “Why do you want to marry me?” Kent stared at her as if she had asked him to run naked through down town Fort Worth during the stock show. “What the hell kind of question is that?” “A valid one considering we have a wedding scheduled in a few days.” Kent eyed her with a mute stare. He licked his lips several times and clutched his hands together in his lap. “Please. All I am asking for is ‘why’.” “I don’t know, Colleen.” Kent stood and walked over to the picture window by the front door. “Why does anyone get married?” His non-answer set her on edge. “Do you love me?” Kent’s face turned red. “You’re acting foolish. Just don’t concern yourself with such trivial things.” He walked over to her and patted her on the head. Actually patted her, like a young child who dared to approach an adult conversation. “Don’t concern myself with whether the man I am set to marry loves me or not? You…you are insufferable.” “Where is all this hostility coming from Colleen? I’ve heard of pre-99-
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wedding jitters but this seems excessive.” Colleen jumped to her feet and Kent staggered back three steps. “Why haven’t you wanted me? Why haven’t you tried to give me this socalled passion you say I lack?” “I told you. It will be special once we’re married.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Which means you have to do it whether you like it or not even if I do lack passion?” “I’m sure you’ll learn.” She cringed at how close to the truth she’d come. “What’s gotten into you?” She paced away from Kent. “What you’d you say if I told you I slept with Joel Burkhart?” “I’d say poor bastard.” Kent made the comment under his breath, but Colleen caught every last syllable. She whirled around and charged at the man. “Get the hell out of my house. Get out now.” “What?” True puzzlement crowded the man’s chemically-enhanced, tan face. “I can’t go through with this. I’m sorry but I can’t marry you.” “You don’t mean it.” Kent grabbed her hand. Did she detect sincere emotion from him? If so, it would be the first in a long, long time. “I won’t get my promotion if we don’t get married.” It was Colleen’s turn to be puzzled. “I beg your pardon?” Kent raked his hands across his perfectly coiffed hair. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him do that before. “My boss said I had to be married by the end of the year to get promoted to Junior Partner.” He took up pacing where she had stopped. “So you…and I…” She waved her hand feverously between them. “All I mean to you is a promotion?” Kent paused in mid-stride. He narrowed his eyes at her. “Why exactly -100-
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are you marrying me?” “I…I,” she sputtered but couldn’t answer. “Uh-huh. Don’t get all self-righteous on me, Colleen.” He walked over to the bar and poured himself a glass of straight whiskey. “You think I don’t see the way you eye every baby that passes by you. “You don’t think I saw the pain on you face when Sharon announced she was expecting again. Tick-tock.” He narrowed his gaze to her stomach and gave her a smug smile. “A means to an end. For both of us.” He took a healthy swig of the whiskey then filled the glass again. “It’s ten-thirty in the morning, Kent.” “My apologies.” He pivoted on his feet. The liquid in his glass threatened to spill out. “Would you like some, too?” “Don’t be an ass.” Colleen flopped onto the sofa. “Nothing’s changed. We can still go through with this Saturday as planned.” “Kent, I really don’t think—” “I don’t care about your little indiscretion. And I will oblige you with a baby if that’s what you want.” He scratched his head. A far off look crossed his face. “Hell, it might make me look better with a baby anyway.” “You’ve got to be kidding me.” “What? It could work.” He slammed back his second drink. When he went to fill his glass again, Colleen lurched off the sofa and grabbed the glass from him. “No more. Kent, I’m sorry but it won’t work. I don’t love you.” “That wasn’t a problem for you before.” “I know but now…” She couldn’t finish. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Despite the venom in his voice, he had an almost sympathetic look on his face. “It doesn’t matter if I am or not. He’s out of my life. I made sure of that.” She mumbled the last bit. “Are you sure?” -101-
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“I’m sorry about your promotion, but I just can’t do it.” Kent nodded and walked out the door without looking back. She waited for the pain, the fear, to invade her body. But the only thing she felt was empty. And it wasn’t from Kent’s absence but Joel’s. Did she know how to screw stuff up in a royal way or what? She walked over to the desk and opened the bottom drawer. She pulled out the silky, black swatch of clothing and dropped it into the waste can. Time to move on, she told herself. Then she picked up the telephone and dialed a number by rote. “Mom,” she said when her mother answered. “Are you sitting down? I have something I need to tell you.” *
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*
Joel scanned the papers for weeks and never saw the announcement for Colleen and that lucky bastard’s wedding. He was a masochist, and he knew it. Only a masochist would scan the papers day in and day out to see if the woman he loved married another man. He couldn’t help but wonder why they didn’t shout their nuptials from the rafters. If he married Colleen, he sure as hell would. He thought back to that last day. Despite what she said about using him, despite the fact that she laughed at him, he still loved her. He never would have taken her for the cold calculating woman she presented that morning. Could he have been that far off on his gut instincts about her? In disgust, he threw the paper in the empty chair next to his desk and concentrated on the pile of invoices in front of him. Their sister company in Alaska needed a new actuary. Four had quit in the last two years. Ryan McBrett, the area manager, was a hard ass to work for and demanded perfection from all the companies’ employees. Ryan had nearly broken him during training, but Joel sucked it up and made it out in one piece. She was -102-
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one hell of a trainer and one hell of a woman. But who could he send? The phone rang. “Joel, did you get my memo?” “Ryan.” Speak of the she-devil. “I have it in my hand now.” “Can you help me out? I’m really understaffed here.” “That’s a tall order to ask someone to work for Ryan the Hun.” She laughed, the deep timbre of her voice rumbled his ear drum. “I thought we were past all your hang-ups getting trained by a woman.” “Ryan,” Joel warned her, but joined her laughter. “Let me see who I have that might be willing to go. But, I mean it is Alaska. Haven’t you frozen your balls off yet?” “You’re a jackass.” Amusement coated her voice despite the returned barb. “ASAP, Joel,” she said then she hung up with giving him a chance to respond. Joel shook his head and glanced up when he saw Darryl stalk past his door. The man had done a fairly good job of avoiding him since the conference in October. “Blackwood.” Joel jumped up from his desk and hurried after Darryl. “Blackwood.” The man’s shoulders stiffen. “Yeah?” “Can you come into my office a minute?” Joel didn’t wait to see if Darryl obeyed, he knew the man didn’t have a choice. Joel waited for Darryl to drop the paper to the floor and situate himself in the chair then he broke into his spiel. “I received a request to transfer someone to one of our sister companies.” Darryl’s eyes narrowed. “So naturally you want to get rid of me.” Joel held up his hand. “Whether that’s true or not is irrelevant. Ryan McBrett needs a replacement in that office.” Darryl sat back and crossed his right ankle over his left knee. “I’ve never heard of him. Where is he?” -103-
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Joel wanted to correct Darryl’s gender blunder but for some reason thought better of it. “Alaska.” “No way in hell.” “It’s a promotion,” Joel continued as if Darryl hadn’t rejected the offer. “And a substantial pay raise.” “I said…how substantial?” His brow lifted and his usual scowl disappeared. “Starting out? Another thirty grand a year.” Darryl whistled. “Why the huge difference?” Darryl’s entire attitude changed from combative to interest. “No one wants to go to Alaska.” “There’s got to be another catch.” Joel shifted in his seat. “Ryan can be, how should I put this?” He rubbed his chin and thought for the most diplomatic way to describe Ryan. “Difficult to work for.” “He can’t be all that bad. I put up with you.” Joel let that slide. “Are you interested?” Darryl laced his fingers over his stomach and tilted his head toward the ceiling. He exhaled a few heavy breaths then looked back at Joel. “Yeah. When do I start?” “As soon as you can pack and get your ass up there.” Darryl nodded. “I’ll get the transfer started and tell Ryan to expect you by the end of the week.” “Sounds fair.” Darryl rose from his seat. He hesitated then held out his hand. “Thanks. And no hard feelings, huh?” To say Joel was shocked was a gross understatement. But he took the man’s hand. For a second, he almost felt guilt for sending Darryl to Ryan. But he wasn’t quite sure who he felt more sympathy for. When Joel left the office for lunch, he replayed the conversation with Ryan through his head. He sidled up to the counter at the deli a few blocks -104-
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away and placed his order but had a hard time forgetting Ryan’s guarantee to pay him back. He wasn’t sure if it was a threat or a promise. He figured that remained to be seen until Darryl showed up. “Let the fireworks begin,” he mumbled under his breath. “Excuse me?” The young girl behind the counter held his change out. “Nothing. Talking to myself.” He pocketed his change then snagged his tray and carried it to a far table. He was about to take a bite when the door opened for a new batch of customers. The sandwich hung untouched in his hands as Colleen and her brother, Mikey, edged up to the counter to wait their turns. He decided he really wasn’t a masochist after all and couldn’t bear to watch her, so Joel wrapped up his lunch and stuffed it all back in the little plastic bag. He had his hand on the door when he heard Mikey call his name. His mind raced with indecision. Should he go on through as if he hadn’t heard or turn and face the woman he loved but could never have again? His manners overrode self-preservation and he turned toward Mikey, but Colleen wasn’t there. Joel caught a sight of her glorious auburn hair just before the restroom door shut. Well, at least he could get his salutations over with before she returned. “Hey, Mikey. How you been?” “Good. Good. I thought we’d have seen more of you around since you moved back, but it’s like you fell off the face of the earth.” “Oh, you know how it is. Work, work, and more work.” Joel shifted from one foot to the other. “How is…” He swallowed hard. “The rest of your family?” “Sharon had her baby this morning. A little girl.” Joel shook his hand. “Congratulations. That’s great.” “Yeah. Colleen and I just came from the hospital.” Mikey nodded to the family medical center across the street. “Crazy about Colleen, huh?” -105-
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Joel scrunched his brow. “Sorry? I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” “Her calling off the wedding like that. That dumbass, Kent flew off to Vegas the very next weekend and married some girl he’d known for all of five days. Can you beat that?” She didn’t get married? But she’d said… Joel’s heart hammered in his chest. “Mikey, we need to get going soon. I told Jessica I’d watch the kids so she could get up there and see Sharon.” Colleen stepped up next to Mikey. “Aren’t you going to say hello?” Colleen’s brother nudged her shoulder. When she turned and saw Joel, she gasped. “Joel!” “Here.” Joel shoved his sandwich in Mikey’s hand and grabbed Colleen by the elbow. “Excuse us a moment.” He pulled her out the door and around the corner of the building to the parking lot. “Joel, what do you think you’re doing?” She tried to tug her arm free. He opened the driver’s side door to his truck. “Get in. The wind is freezing.” She stood for a moment, the chilly air whipped her hair around her face, but instead of arguing, she turned and climbed into the truck. “Slide over.” He didn’t mean to sound so terse, but with her near him again, he had to fight hard to stay in control. “Please.” She complied, but she sat rigid in the passenger seat. “Why didn’t you get married?” She blinked several times. “That’s none of your damn business.” “It sure as hell is.” “I don’t see how.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “We said all that needed to be said the last time we saw each other.” “Not everything.” Joel gripped the steering wheel although his hands itched to touch her. He turned his head to afford him the breathtaking view of her profile. He softened his voice when he said, “I need to know why you didn’t get married.” -106-
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Colleen sighed and relaxed her shoulders. “I didn’t love him. And I couldn’t go through with it.” Joel closed his eyes and let his forehead touch the back of his hands. Colleen continued. “That day we went skating.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I had decided to call it off then.” Joel sat upright. “What? Why?” “I told you why. I didn’t love him. I couldn’t have gone through with it because of you anyway.” “Me?” “Yeah. Can you say a sentence with more than one syllable please?” A slight smile creased her face when she glanced at him. “What did I have to do with your decision?” “I knew for a while things weren’t working between Kent and I. But I just wasn’t ready to face it. And then you came along and made me realize what I was missing.” Laughter welled up in his throat and bubbled. “You think that’s funny?” “No. This is an ironic laugh.” He turned toward Colleen and took her small cold hands in his. “I came to a conclusion that day, too.” Colleen gulped. “Yeah? What?” “Now look who’s mono-syllabic.” Joel brought her hands to his mouth and kissed each one. When he looked at her, tears crowded the corners of her eyes. “I decided I was going to convince you to marry me instead of dumbass as Mikey called him.” “But I thought…you told me you broke it off with your girlfriend because you didn’t want to get married.” “To her.” Joel used the pad of his thumb to swipe away a tear that fell down her cheek. “I hadn’t wanted to get married before I met you.” Joel pulled her to him. His mouth crushed down on hers. The fierce but brief kiss ended when someone rapped on the truck window. -107-
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“Mind telling me what’s going on.” Mikey stood by the passenger window with Joel’s sandwich in his right hand and two others in his left. “I’m trying to propose to your sister,” Joel yelled through the glass. He saw Mikey’s face split into a huge grin but his attention left the man outside when Colleen squealed. “Do you mean it?” She worried her lower lip with her teeth. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t mean it.” Joel cupped her face in his hands. “I love you, Colleen Nance. More than I can tell you.” “I love you, too.” She kissed him hard then threw her arms around his neck. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you.” “Good. Now that that’s out of the way, can we eat?” Mikey knocked on the window again. “I’m starving.” Joel and Colleen looked at one another and busted out in laughter. “What a romantic,” Colleen said through a barely controlled giggle. Joel ran a finger down Colleen’s cheek. “The man lacks passion.” The couple roared from inside the truck. Mikey shrugged his shoulder before he hopped into the bed of the truck then unwrapped his sandwich. “Cheers.”
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