Heart Song

Heart Song by Sara Bell

Torquere Press www.torquerepress.com

Copyright ©2007 by Sara Bell First published in torquerepress.com, 2007 NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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Liam stood under the roar of the crowd, sweat running down his face and into his eyes. He saw Brody give a final two fingered wave before exiting stage right, but Liam remained even as Brody and the other four members of the band left. Vicious Heart was his creation—his baby—and he never got enough of the adrenaline rush caused by performing in front of thirty thousand fans. It was the only high he allowed himself, and damned if he wasn't going to enjoy it to the hilt. His battered but beloved Gibson clutched tight in his hands, Liam finally dragged himself off stage and into the wings where a beaming roadie waited. "I'll take that for you, Mr. Daniels." Mr. Daniels? God that made him sound ancient. Liam was only thirty, for crying out loud. Hardly ready for the retirement home. He handed the kid his guitar with a smile and a shake of his head. The rest of the band was already in the dressing room when Liam got there. Jokester Robin Garry, the drummer, was tapping his sticks on the back of bassist Marco Newman, who seemed more interested in ingesting a gallon of water than fending him off. The two had known each other since grade school, far longer than the six years they'd been a band, and Liam was always amazed at their easy camaraderie. He wondered if he'd ever find companionship like that with anybody, especially someone he wasn't screwing. Liam eased into the room and sank down on the other sofa beside Gunner Roderick, his keyboardist. Gunner was 3

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scrubbing down his long curly hair with a towel. "Hell of a show, man. Those new songs you wrote went down like aces." Liam tried to shrug off the compliment, but he knew he was grinning like an idiot. He wrote ninety percent of the songs Vicious Heart performed. It was his music that had catapulted them to the top of the rock charts and made them a household name among alternative fans. Try as he might for modesty, Liam couldn't help but be proud of that. Still, he hadn't done it alone, a fact he never forgot. He slapped Gunner on his shirtless shoulder. "I might've written them, but you guys brought them to life." He looked across the way to where Brody was slumped in his chair, chugging hot tea like it was going out of style. Brody, the lead singer with the body of a Greek god and the voice of an angel. Brody, who gave so much during each performance he was hoarse for hours later. Brody, whom Liam had secretly been in love with since the moment he'd laid eyes on him, singing in a dive bar six and a half years ago. He let his eyes roam over Brody's boyish face, from the brutally short crop of dark hair to those glowing indigo eyes. Brody looked tired but otherwise okay. Still, Liam worried. Fussing over Brody was the only way he could be close without being obvious. "Throat sore?" Brody shook his head. "I'm okay," he said in a scratchy rasp. "Be good as new for tomorrow's show." 4

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"He's fine, Mother." This from Joey Kennedy, second guitarist. He snagged a beer from the mini-fridge on the far side of the room, popped the top, and took a deep swig before heading for the door leading to the fans' meet and greet area. "I don't know abut you guys, but I'm ready to get laid." Marco and Robin seconded that notion, and even Brody nodded, sending an all too familiar pain right into Liam's chest. Before any of them, Joey included, could make good on the threat, the door swung open and a pale-faced Liz Orsini, their manager, staggered in. She was clutching a tabloid in one hand, and what looked to be The New York Times in the other. "Thank God you're all here." She slapped the papers down on the coffee table in front of the couch where Liam and Gunner were sitting. "You have something you want to tell us?" Liam blinked. "What are you talking about?" "Read the headlines." She pointed to the papers, but stopped him when Liam reached for the tabloid, which was lying face down. "Why don't I save you the trouble and give you the high points, instead? Better yet, let me ask you a question. How long have you known Adam Gates?" Liam had often heard the expression "all the blood drained from his face," but he always thought it was of silly. Blood didn't just rush out from under your skin. Now he was pretty sure there wasn't a platelet left anywhere in his body. He felt dizzy, and he had this nagging need to throw up. 5

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Liz was watching him closely, her gray hawk's eyes locked with his. "It's true, isn't it?" Liam swallowed, but, try as he might, he couldn't summon enough saliva to un-stick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. Brody pushed his lanky frame out of his chair, his sleevestyle tats a swirl of color against that paler-than-pale skin. "What's she talking about?" Liam couldn't answer, but by then, he didn't have to. Gunner had picked up one of the papers and scanned enough of the article to sum it up for all of them. "I'll tell you what's up, Brody-boy." There was a trace of something dark and nasty in Gunner's voice. "Seems our fearless leader here is a fag." **** So Adam had finally made good on his threat. Liam didn't know why he was surprised. He'd known Adam hadn't taken their break-up well, but he'd hoped like hell he still meant enough to the guy that Adam would keep their secret. Liam snorted into his Southern Comfort. Looks like the tabloids had paid good ol' Adam enough to throw sentimentality right out the window. He was sitting in his hotel room, halfway through the fifth when he remembered he'd quit drinking years ago. He swirled the liquid around the bottle, hadn't even bothered with a glass. Now he wondered why he'd quit in the first place. A sharp rap sounded on the door to his suite. Liam was sitting on the bed, and walking all the way through to the 6

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sitting room just seemed like too much work. Besides, he was watching a movie. Nothing like seeing A Christmas Story for the eight-thousandth time to set the holiday mood. So what if it was only mid-November? "Dammit, Liam—either you open this door or I'll have a member of the staff open it for me." Liz was the one person in the world Liam couldn't bullshit his way out of seeing tonight. She was also damned scary and not someone he was willing to cross. Forcing his heavy feet to obey, Liam swaggered up and plodded a sideways course to the door. Only took him seven tries to get the deadbolt unlatched. "About damned time you opened the door." Liz brushed past him, banging her way into the room like the pit-bull she was. "First you rush out of the dressing room like some deranged howler monkey, then you turn off your phone, and now this? What were you gonna do, just leave me standing—" She waved her hand in front of her face like she was fending off a foul smell. "My God, are you drunk?" "Working on it." Liam grinned, but it didn't feel quit right on his face. "Want some?" He held up the bottle. "I broke all the glasses, but we can share if you don't mind drinking after me." "Tempting as that offer is, I'll pass." Liz looked past him to the bedroom, where broken glass and tumbled furniture littered the floor. "Seems you've had yourself a party of one." Liam shrugged. "You know the drill: sex, drugs, rock and roll. It's all good." Except Liam didn't do drugs, and he hadn't 7

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had sex with an actual partner in so long his right hand was starting to chap. That and the rock and roll part was probably over with now that the whole world knew he was queer. Liz snagged the bottle out of his hand. "Hey," Liam hollered. "I'm not finished with that." "Oh yes, you are." She snagged the room phone, pressed a button, waited a second and said, "Room service? I need you to send a case of purified water to suite twelve-fourteen. Oh, and could you add a bottle of aspirin to it, please? Thanks. Just charge it to the room and I'll settle the bill later." She hung up the phone. "It'll be here in a minute." "I don't want water. And give me my whisky back." "No can do." Liz put her hands on her skinny hips. "We're going to sober you up, and then we're going to talk about this little secret you've been keeping." Calling his gayness a "little secret" would've been funny if the reminder hadn't brought back the churning dread in his swirling stomach. He opened his mouth to say as much but all that came out was half a fifth of Southern Comfort. "Oh for the love of..." Liz rolled her eyes, shucked her suit jacket, and picked the phone back up. "Hi, this is suite twelve-fourteen again. We're gonna need some extra towels.' **** Four hours later, Liam was mostly sober and totally humiliated. He'd never been so sick in his life. He had to hand it to Liz, though. She made one hell of a nursemaid, had stayed by his side, wiping his face with a wet cloth when he 8

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needed it, stroking his hair as he lay on the bed and fought to control his trembling body. The woman might be a business barracuda, but it seemed she had a heretofore undiscovered soft side. "You could've told us, you know." It was just before dawn, and Liam had been wretch-free for about an hour now. Liz was still sitting beside him on the bed, absently rubbing his back. "It's not like we're strangers, Liam." "And you would've been okay with it, just like that?" Liam rolled over to look at her, his eyes gritty from whisky and pain. "This from the lady who came charging into the dressing rooms, ranting, raving, and outing me to the whole band." "You're right. I could've handled it better, but your ex is the one who outed you, not me." Liz squeezed his hand. "I should've spoken to you about it in private, but when I read those damned headlines ... I was just so hurt you hadn't told me that I ended up acting like a total ass." Liam knew she was telling him the truth, and he owed her the same. "I didn't tell you because I was afraid for my career." He closed his eyes. "And how the rest of the band would react." His stomach lurched, but he managed to keep the bottle of water he'd drunk down this time. "I guess you probably don't want to represent me anymore, huh?" To his surprise, Liz laughed. "If you think you're getting rid of me that easy, you can just think again." She patted his arm. "I don't give a damn who you chose to sleep with, and I don't think your hardcore fans will, either." "It isn't a choice, I—" 9

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"Honey, I know that." Another squeeze. "Tell me about Adam. I'm amazed you managed to keep him a secret from all of us." "Wasn't hard." Liam worried his bottom lip with his teeth. "I meet him a year ago last spring, when we were on break. I was staying at my folks' summer place in Florida. He owns a club in town..." He let the statement hang for a second. "One thing led to another and we hooked up." He sat up, his every muscle protesting the move. "I thought we were just two guys playing around, but he wanted a more permanent relationship." Liz eyed him closely. "You didn't want that." "I ... I've got feelings for someone else. I told Adam as much—also told him I wasn't out and we had to keep things quiet—but I guess he was so mad over our breakup he wanted to hit me where it hurts. I don't understand why he waited so long to do it, but it doesn't matter now. He sure as hell got his revenge." He fell back onto the bed and covered his eyes with one arm. "Pretty stupid, huh? To gamble my career on some guy I picked up on vacation." "You have a right to love and be loved, hon. You just bet on the wrong guy, is all." She hesitated. "This other man, the one you have feelings for ... does he know you care about him?" "He doesn't even know I'm gay." Liam cursed, letting his arms fall with a whump to the bed. "Well, he does now. Just like the whole fucking world."

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"This is only a disaster if you let it be, sugar." She pulled down the cuffs of her silk blouse and stood. "It's time you and I did some damage control." Liam groaned, his arm going back over his eyes. "I'm not ready to deal with this. Not yet." "Too bad. You've got to face it if you want to come out of this with your job—and your personal relationships—intact. I found out firsthand you turned your cell off. No telling how many messages are waiting for you. Your family, your friends ... they must be worried sick by now." Liam swore again, this one more colorful. His parents and his sisters must be going nuts, worried about him and wondering about the rumors. He pushed his way up and sat on the edge of the bed. His cell phone was in his hand two seconds later. Liz pressed it into his palm, then covered his fingers with hers. "I'll give you some privacy to make your calls, then I'm coming back to help you clean up the mess you made." She turned to go, but Liam stopped her. "Liz?" "Hmm?" "What about the other guys? In the band, I mean." "Already covered, doll. We've got a meeting in the hotel conference room scheduled for eight." She glanced at her watch. "That gives you about two and a half hours to take care of business and clean yourself up." Liam nodded. He should've known she'd already thought of that. He waited until she'd stepped into the sitting room, then thumbed open his phone. Fourteen voicemails. 11

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He didn't bother listening to the messages, just scrolled down the "missed call" screen. Four from his parents. One each from his five sisters. Two from Liz before she'd finally decided to break down his door. One from Joey Kennedy, and two from numbers he didn't recognize, probably reporters who'd somehow gotten hold of his private line. The one number that wasn't there was the one that made Liam's heart hurt the worst. Brody's. Liam shook himself. Time to man-up and get over it. He punched his parents number first, closed his eyes and waited. "Where the hell have you been?" His father's booming tirade cut through the line like they were standing in the same room. Caller ID, what a beautiful thing. Liam took a deep breath. "Hey, Dad." "Don't you 'hey, Dad' me, boy. Your mother and I have been going out of our minds. Do you know I had to talk her out of trying to book a flight?" "Dad, I'm sorry. I just..." He started to choke, and it took him a minute to get it under control. "I guess you read the papers, huh?" "And watched the news, and read about it on the internet. Not to mention your sisters have been calling every five seconds wanting to know if we've heard from you. What were you thinking, turning off your phone?" "Needed some time to process it all, I guess." His father snorted. "You shouldn't have to handle this alone. Your mother was right. We'll be on the first plane out." 12

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Just what he didn't need, a mad-as-hell Scot's Irish trial lawyer and a hysterical French Canadian housewife running interference for him. Besides, they didn't know the truth, not yet. "Dad ... you read the articles, right?" "Damned right I did. And don't think I'm not going to sue this Gates fellow on your behalf, plus the sleazy rag that first broke the story." Here came the hard part. "You can't sue them. The stories..." He coughed and then tried again. "Dad, they're true." Silence. "I'm gay." "Well, hell, boy, I know that, but it should've been your choice to tell the whole world or not." Liam felt like he'd just been hit upside the head with an "oh-shit" hammer. "You ... Dad, you knew?" "Liam Matthew, your mother and I are a lot of things, but blind and stupid, we're not." His father's gruff voice softened. "I think we probably suspected before you did." Liam wondered if he was caught in some bizarre transdimensional vortex, then chided himself for watching too many sci-fi flicks. He grabbed his bottle of water from the bedside table and took a swallow. Finally he said, "Why didn't you ever say anything?" "It was your secret to tell, boy. When you never did, we figured you couldn't talk about it and we didn't want to force you." His father sounded sympathetic and worried, but not mad at him. Still, Liam couldn't quite believe it. "You ... you guys don't hate me?" 13

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"Hate you? What the hell are you talking about?" Liam rolled his eyes. Trust his father to make him spell it out. "For being gay, Dad." "Boy, I ought to whip your ass, and if you ever say such a thing as that to me again, I'll turn you over my knee and not think twice." The gruff affection was back. "We love you just the way God made you. I admit, we're disappointed about not having more grandchildren, but—" His father was cut off, and there was a scrambling noise like someone snatching the phone, then his mother's voice saying, "There will be more grand-bebe's, oui? You the rich rock star. The adoption c'est for you." He couldn't help but smile. Most of the time his mother spoke better English than he did, but when she got upset she spoke a broken mishmash of Franglish. "Kids should be raised in a family, Maman." "I know this, me." His mother sniffed. "You come back to la Canada. You get married here. We find you the nice boy." Dear God. The thought of his mother matchmaking chilled his blood. He was saved from having to answer by his father taking the phone back. "You've got plenty of time for that. First you have to decide how you want to handle this. You need my help dealing with the legalities, boy?" "No, sir, but thank you. My manager is handling it." "I like that Liz," his father said. "She's good people. Now you listen to an old man, boy. The best way to handle this is to be honest." 14

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"Admit to the rumors, you mean." Somehow Liam wasn't surprised his father wanted him to take the direct approach. "Truth can't hurt you, boy. Only secrets." Liam thought of Brody. Keeping quiet hadn't worked, so what else did he have to lose? He and his father talked for another few minutes, and after promising to call his sisters and to leave his cell on, Liam was ready to hang up. Before he did, his father said, "I love you, boy. You need me, I'm a plane ride away." **** Eight o'clock came a damned sight sooner than Liam would've liked. He felt better after talking to his sisters, especially after every one of them—along with his brothersin-law—assured him how much they loved and supported him. He felt like a giant idiot for not having told them years ago, but as he and Liz stood in front of the conference room door, Liam realized the self-recriminations would have to wait. Time to face the firing squad. Liz squeezed his hand. "You ready?" "No, but it won't get any easier if I put it off." She cocked her head to the side and studied his face. "You know what I hate about you being gay?" "What?" "The giant crush I've had on you for six years will go unrequited." She grinned. "Pity, that. We'd have made such beautiful babies together." 15

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Liam laughed, gathering her close for a hug. "Guess you'll just have to comfort yourself with all those millions I've made you, huh?" "Hell of a bright side, wouldn't you say?" She patted his chest and then pulled back. "Let's do this." Liam steadied himself and pushed open the conference room door. Robin and Marco sat on one side of the table, Joey and Gunner on the other. All four of them looked up as he and Liz came in, but no one said anything. Liam's heart twisted. Brody was nowhere in sight. Liz sat down at the head of the table, then patted the empty seat beside her. Liam sat down, clenched his fists against the chair arms, and waited. Gunner spoke first. "You should have told us, damn you. We had a right to know." "Look," Liam started, "I know this was a surprise—" "You don't know shit, man." Gunner's face was flushed, his mouth tight. "Six reporters have called me in the last twelve hours wanting to know if the rest of us are gay, too." He pounded his fists on the table. "You've jeopardized all our careers, just so you could chase ass." "You're overreacting," Liz said. "Of course the reporters are curious, but after we make an official statement, the rumors about the rest of you will die down." "There is no we." Gunner shot Liam a nasty look. "I ain't gonna play with a fag, you feel me." His eyes shown with unholy triumph. 16

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"I see." Liam tried to act like Gunner's words hadn't affected him. "And do the rest of you feel that way?" "Gunner, Marco, and I have talked it over," Robin said. He looked at Liam. "We want you out of the band." Liam blinked. "You're firing me?" Gunner folded his hands over his belly. Smug bastard actually smiled. "Effective immediately." Beside him, Liz laughed, a deep throaty sound that made them all look at her like she was nuts. "Oh, honey," she said between gales, "you've got that so wrong." Gunner narrowed his eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?" "Guess you didn't bother to read your contract when you signed on with Vicious Heart, huh?" Liz went into manager mode. "Let me make it simple for you. Don't worry. I'll use small words so you can understand." She pressed her hands against the tabletop and stood. "Liam founded Vicious Heart. He owns the name, the band, the song rights: everything." Robin blinked. "What are you saying?" "You guys can quit and start your own band. Hell, you can sail to Borneo and fly kites for a living for all I care, but you can't use the Vicious Heart name or perform any of our songs." She looked at each of them in turn. "You want out, fine, but the only thing you're taking with you is the royalties you're entitled to for the albums you've worked on so far. Everything else belongs to Liam." "That's bullshit." Gunner stood with force enough to knock his chair over. "My lawyer's going to eat you for breakfast." He stormed out before Liz could answer. 17

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Liz waited a minute, then looked at Robin and Marco. "Time for you to go boys. This is a meeting for the band Vicious Heart." Her smile was deadly sweet. "Members only." "Now wait just a minute," Marco said. "Maybe we were too hasty." He licked his lips. "We can work something out." Liz looked at Liam. "Your call." Liam was tired, mad, and ready to have it over with. "You heard the lady. Out." Robin paled. "You can't just fire us." "Like you were going to fire me, you mean?" Liam shook his head. "Just go, man. Get out of here, both of you." Marco slammed out the same way Gunner had. Robin was right behind him, making threats. "You'll be hearing from our lawyers, too." Liz made a yakking motion with her hand as they left. As soon as they were gone, Liam looked at Joey. "You feel the same way they do?" "Nope." Joey grinned. "If you'd check your damned messages once in a while, you'd know Gunner tried to get me in on the group vote to fire you and I told him to go fuck himself." He tilted his head to the side. "Got a question for you, though." Liam was half-afraid to ask. "What?" "Are you hot for my bod?" He waggled his eyebrows. "Cause I gotta tell you man, I swing both ways if you wanna play." Liam felt an easing in his chest. If Joey could joke, the two of them were going to be all right. He smiled. "No thanks, but you do have a nice ass." 18

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"Damned right I do." "Would the two of you mind? A girl could begin to feel left out." Liz sat back down and folded her hands on the table. She looked at Liam. "You okay?" "Yeah, just ... I can't believe they tried to fire me." He sighed. "Thank God you put that clause in the contract about me owning the band." "Thank your dad. He was the one who thought of it. The man is one hell of a lawyer." Liam wasn't much for prayer, but he was a true believer in the Almighty. By some grand design he'd ended up with the best parents on the planet. He sent up a silent thanks. He was brought back to the present by Joey. "Not to rain on this little feel good fest, but by my count we're short one keyboardist, a bassist, and a drummer. Not to mention our lead singer's a no show." His eyes met Liam's. "You heard from Brody?" It was then that Liam knew Joey was on to him. "You know." Joey nodded. "Kinda hard to miss. The way you're always doting on him was a dead giveaway." The light dawned for Liz. "Brody's the guy you're in love with?" Liam neither confirmed nor denied, but he was pretty sure his expression said it all. "Right." Liz straightened in her chair. "We need a plan. First we're going to call a press conference to answer the 19

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public's questions. After that, we'll put out a call to audition new members." Liam shook his head. "I don't want to think about that right now." "Got to, buddy," Joey said. "We've already cancelled tonight's show, but we've got the big children's charity benefit on Christmas Eve. Don't know about you, but I have no intention of disappointing little kids who have cancer." Joey was right, and Liam had to face it whether he wanted to or not. "Fine. Call the conference, put out the call ... just do whatever you have to." "Consider it taken care of." Liz put a hand on his arm. "Should the auditions include one for lead singer, too?" Liam's gut clenched. "Not yet. Not until I hear it from him." "We'll wait as long as we can." She got up. "All right, boys. Time to get this ball a rollin'." **** Dealing with the press was a part of the biz Liam had made his peace with, but that didn't mean he enjoyed it. Especially not when he was sitting at a table, being stared at like a bug on a card by more reporters and camera people than he could count. Joey sat on one side of him, Liz on the other. As soon as she called the conference to a start, the questions fired off in rapid succession. "Are you really gay?" "Is it true Adam Gates tried to extort money from you?" 20

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"Have you heard the statements issued by Gunner Roderick, Marco Newman, and Robin Garry?" "Joey, how does it feel to be the member left behind?" Liam took a sip from the water glass at his hand, then pulled his mic closer. "I'll answer your questions, but only if you go one at a time. First I'd like to make a statement." Liz gave him an encouraging smile and Joey made a thumbs-up sign. Liam cleared his throat. "I'm sorry," he said in as clear a voice as he could manage. "Sorry I hurt Adam Gates so badly he felt the need to get back at me. Sorry I haven't been honest with my family, my fans ... even myself. The one thing I'm not sorry for is being gay. I was born gay, I'll die gay, and I'm damned sure going to enjoy it in the meantime." His eyes scanned the assembly. "I'm hoping my fans will let the music—not my sexuality—color their opinions of me." He pointed to a woman in the front row with her hand raised. "Yes ma'am?" "Gunner Roderick issued a statement," she said. "He's saying he, Marco, and Robin quit because they don't want to work with a gay man." Liam doubted Gunner had put it quite as nicely, but he was spared from saying so by Joey, who let out a bark of laughter. "Quit my ass. Liam axed their sorry butts after they tried to fire him." "What does this mean for the future of Vicious Heart?" a reporter called from the back. "Vicious Heart will go on as usual," Liz said in a smooth voice. "Feel free to spread the word we're looking for a new 21

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keyboardist, bassist, and drummer. Those with an industry track record should contact my office for auditions." "What about Brody Chapman?" said a guy down front who was holding a mini recorder in his hand. "No one's heard from him, and his people refuse to issue a statement. Is he out, too?" Liam went cold. God, he hoped not. "We have no comment on that at this time," Liz said, "but we're willing to answer any other questions you might have." Liam played along, answering what he was asked and listening as Joey and Liz fielded as many questions as they could. It wasn't until it was over that he allowed his mind to conjure an image of Brody's face. Always before, thinking about Brody had brought him a measure of peace, but now it left him running scared. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever see that face again. **** By the time they were finished, all three of them were starving and ready for an early supper. They decided to eat in the hotel dining room and had just started to order when Liz's cell phone rang. "Can't even eat without the darn thing..." she grumbled under her breath. On a brighter note, she said, "Liz Orsini speaking." Her eyes went round. "You're where?" A sharp intake of breath. "Have they issued bail yet?" Pause. "Hang in there, and for God sakes, don't say anything until we get you a lawyer. I'll be down on the next flight." She clicked the phone shut. 22

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"What the hell?" Joey said, but Liz ignored him and looked at Liam. "At least now we know why no one's heard from Brody," she said. "He's sitting in a Florida jail." **** It took them about four hours, but they finally found a pilot who could fly them down to Key West immediately. Liam paid for the private plane, and Liz didn't argue with him when he insisted that he and Joey were going with her. By the time they touched down at the airport, it was the wee hours of the morning, and Liam was running on nothing more than nerves and caffeine. The drive to the police station seemed to take forever, and that was after the excruciating wait at the rental car place. Joey drove, Liz talked on her cell—something about criminal attorneys and spin control—but all Liam did was stare out the window and pray Brody was all right. A burly sergeant with a handlebar mustache and a dark scowl greeted them at the front desk. "You here to report a crime, or have you come to fetch somebody?" "Brody Chapman—" Liz started, but Liam cut her off with, "How much is his bail?" He flipped out his wallet and pulled out the stack of bills he'd pulled from the ATM at LAX. "How much?" He repeated the question when the officer made no move to take the money. "You need more, cause I've got my cards and—" "Slow down." The sergeant seemed to have developed a tick in his jaw. If Liam hadn't known any better, he'd say the 23

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guy was trying to hold back a smile. "Brody Chapman, you say?" Liam nodded only because he couldn't speak past the knot in his throat. "You must be his band." The man—last name Winston, according to his shirt—folded his arms over his chest. "Not my kind of music, but I sure wouldn't say no to an autograph for my kid." Liz was already pulling pen and paper from her giant-sized handbag, but Liam stopped her when he looked Winston in the eye and said, "I'll do you one better. You let Brody out, I'll send your daughter an entire autographed collection of our CDs. Hell, I'll even throw in some concert tees." Winston pursed his lips. "You trying to bribe an officer?" Liam's face went hot. "No, I just ... I mean, Brody, he—" "Relax, son." Winston laughed, the sound like a rumbling bear Liam had once heard on a National Geographic special. "I'm yanking your chain. Chapman's free to go. The guy he hit declined to press charges." "Hit?" Joey stepped up to the desk between Liz and Liam. "What exactly was Brody arrested for, anyway?" "Assault. Seems he drove down to The Pelican's Chest, pulled the owner out from behind the bar, and proceeded to knock him on his ass." Winston shook his head. "Your friend knocked out two of the guy's teeth before bar patrons pulled him off and called the law." "I don't understand." Liz's eyes were wide and confused. "Why would Brody come all the way down here for a fight?" 24

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That, Liam couldn't answer, but he certainly knew The Pelican's Chest. More to the point, he knew the guy who owned it. Before he could tell Liz as much, a voice behind them said, "I think Mr. Chapman was defending Liam's honor." Liam's heart sank. He knew that voice. He turned around to find himself staring into the brilliant green eyes of Adam Gates, himself. Liz and Joey turned at the same time. Liz made a face like she'd just discovered gum on the bottom of her shoe. "I know you." "Really?" Adam gave her a toned down version of the cocky grin that had attracted Liam to him in the first place. He was missing one tooth in the front and one on the side. "You come to the Keys a lot? Maybe you've been in my place a time or two." "She recognizes you from the same place I do, dumbass." Joey stepped up so that he was blocking Liz from Adam's line of sight. "All those interviews you've done the past two days, dragging Liam's name through the mud." Adam shrugged. "Not slander if it's true." Anyone looking at him would have thought Adam didn't give a shit, but Liam knew better. He could see a hard wedge of pain shimmering beneath Adam's surface. He might hate what the guy had done to him, but some of it Liam knew he'd brought on himself. He turned to Adam. "You dropped the charges. Why?"

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"You really want to know?" Adam lifted his chin a notch, giving Liam a view of the dark bruise staining his jaw. "Ditch the entourage and we'll talk about it." Joey and Liz immediately set up a protest, but Liam headed them off. "Go get Brody, you guys. I'll be along in a second" "Dude." Joey put his hand on Liam's shoulder and turned him to the side. "You really think this is a good idea, considering what he's done to you?" Liam sighed. His head was starting to hurt. "Exactly my point. What's he going to do, sell my story to some sleazy tabloid? Oh wait. He already did." "You got me there." Joey nodded to Winston, who moved out from behind the desk and started down the hall, motioning for Joey and Liz to follow. Liz didn't want to go. Liam could see it in her eyes. After a long minute, Joey whispered something in her ear. She bit her lip, than finally nodded and went with him. "There's a waiting area with vending machines just on the other side of those doors." Adam pointed to a spot behind Liam. "You game?" "Whatever." Liam let Adam lead him away. The vending area was dirty and dimly lit. Liam took a seat at a chipped Formica table in the corner. Adam sat down across from him, watching Liam as if he expected him to strike. It was then Liam noticed Adam's left eye was starting to swell. "Brody knocked the hell out of you, huh?" 26

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"I'd like to think I gave as good as I got." Adam picked at a burnt spot on the tabletop. "Came into the bar ranting and raving about how I'd betrayed you. Before I had a chance to even ask his name, he was on me." He swiped at the gap where his front tooth should have been with his tongue. "Damn. Good thing I know an all-night dentist. Looks like I'm gonna need implants or caps or somethin'." "Why'd you drop the charges?" "Why do you think?" Adam draped his arm over the back of his chair. "He's the one, isn't he?" Liam wasn't going to insult Adam by pretending he didn't know what he was talking about. "Yeah." "You ever tell him how you feel?" "No. Nobody even knew I was gay." Liam couldn't stop the trace of bitterness that slipped out. "Not until you decided to wreck my life." "I heard some of the guys in your band quit." Adam made a face, and Liam couldn't tell if he was grimacing over the situation, or the pain in his mouth. A minute later, he said, "I never meant for it to happen this way." "Jesus. You waited a whole year and half, until the band and I were at the top of the charts. What did you think would happen when a headline like this one hit the stands?" "I don't know. Maybe I thought I was doing you a favor." Adam tapped his fingers against the table. "Maybe I was trying to force you to be honest with yourself." "Bullshit," Liam said. "If you're gonna take a stab at ruining me, the least you can do is play it real." 27

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"Fine. How's this for honesty?" Adam got up, standing over Liam and looking down on him with unblinking eyes. "I loved you, you son-of-a-bitch. I loved you, and it wasn't enough." "So you decided to hurt me the way I'd hurt you." "Yes." Adam let out a slow breath, then sat back down with a sigh. "I waited for you to come back, and when you didn't, I decided to get even." Liam wanted to hate him—probably should hate him, truth be told—but he just couldn't summon the energy. Silence stretched between them until Liam broke it with, "At least you were well paid for the dirt on me." "Actually, I've already donated that money to the same cancer research program you and your band are sponsoring." He pressed a hand to his blackening eye. "I figure a hundred thousand dollars will go a long way toward sponsoring a kid who can't afford treatments." Liam opened his mouth, closed it back, then opened it again. "Why?" "It's not like I need the money." Adam locked gazes with him. "I did what I set out to do." And in the end, that's all there really was to it. Liam hurt Adam, Adam hurt him back, and now they'd both been fucked over. "Does this make us even?" "This isn't a game," Adam said. "To me, it never was." "Whatever." Liam got up. They could talk about this all night, but there was really no point. Saying he was sorry wouldn't make a damned bit of difference, and they both knew it. 28

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"Have a nice life, Adam." He started for the door. Adam stopped him with, "He has a right to know you're in love with him." Liam froze, but didn't turn back around. "Brody is none of your business." "I don't know about that." Adam gave a humorless laugh. "I'm going to be thinking about the guy every time I bite down for the next month, easy. I figure that makes him my business, at least for tonight." He lowered his voice. "You cared enough about him to shatter my heart into a thousand pieces, and he obviously cared enough about you to rearrange my face. The least you can do is make it count for something." Liam didn't answer him, just opened the door and walked out. **** Brody was standing at the information desk with Liz and Joey when Liam came out of the vending area. He looked at Liam with hard eyes for a scant second, then abruptly turned away. The blunt dismissal hurt more than anything Liam could remember, including the hell he'd been through the past two days. The limo ride back to the airport was mostly silent. At first Joey and Liz tried to make small talk, but after a while the attempts fell flat and they, too, went quiet. Liam was almost glad. The absence of sound gave him an excuse to stare out the window or down at the floor—anywhere but at Brody. By 29

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the time they reached the airport, Liam's nerves were stretched near to breaking. All he wanted to do was crawl into his seat on the plane, slap on some headphones, and zone out. Liz and Joey were first on the plane. Liam started to follow them up the steps, but Brody put out a hand, blocking his way. "You should've told me." There was more pain and accusation in that one statement than if Brody had launched a screaming tirade. Liam turned to face him. "I was scared." Liam tried to shrug like he wasn't embarrassed as hell, but he could tell by the look in Brody's eyes he'd seen right through it. Liam sighed. "Look what happened with the rest of the band, Joey excluded." He swallowed. "What about you?" Brody blinked, hard. "You talking about the band?" "Yeah. You in or out?" The question pissed the singer off. Liam could see it in the set of Brody's jaw and the line of his shoulders. "What do you think, asshole?" He shoved his way past Liam and boarded the plane. Liam rubbed a hand over his sour stomach and then followed Brody up the steps. **** The next week and a half were a blur. Reporters called Liam day and night. Robin, Gunner, and Marco began campaigns with both the media and their lawyers. Liz 30

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scheduled auditions to replace the three of them, while Liam and Joey worked on the music for the Christmas benefit. Brody avoided all of them. Liam had no idea whether Brody was in the band or out, because he wasn't answering his cell and he'd checked out of the hotel where Vicious Heart usually stayed when they were in town. Liam thought about calling around—even having Liz try to track him—but gave up on the idea pretty quick. If Brody was leaving, there wasn't a damned thing Liam could do about it. Monday morning saw Liam bleary eyed and sitting in the live room of the private recording studio the band used when in LA. He and Joey were slumped in metal chairs, listening to Liz lay it out for them. "Forty-eight pros have applied to audition for Vicious Heart," she said with a grin. "Apparently Adam Gates' revelation hasn't dimmed our popularity." Joey returned Liz's smile, but Liam just didn't have it in him. "I've listened to the demos from each candidate," Liz continued, "and I've narrowed it down to fourteen guys I think best fit the style and direction of the band. It's up to you guys to—" She stopped as the live room door opened and Brody came in. "Am I late?" Brody didn't much sound like he cared whether he was or not. Liz shook her head. "We haven't really started yet." She pointed to a folding chair propped against the wall. "Have a seat. Glad you got my message." 31

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Brody didn't say anything, and neither did Liam. Joey had no such restraint. "Dude, I thought you pancaked on us." "Jesus." Brody rubbed a hand over his nearly-shorn head. "If you guys want me out of the band, why don't you just say so." "No!" Liam hadn't meant to yell, and he felt himself turn red when everyone looked at him. He tried to play it off. "We just hadn't heard from you, is all. You ... you checked out of your room." Liz shuffled the papers she was holding from hand to hand. "Where you been, Brody?" "We'll talk about it later." Brody looked right at Liam. "Guess you're not the only one with secrets, huh?" Liam didn't know how to answer that one. Liz covered it for him by bringing them back to business. "I've scheduled a thirty minute audition—back to back—for each one of these guys. The first one starts..." She looked at her watch. "Now." Liz made her way to the door where presumably the first guy was waiting. "Hope you guys don't have any plans for the rest of the day." Joey groaned and Brody mumbled under his breath, but Liam didn't say a word. Seven hours in a room with Brody— even if they weren't alone and Brody wasn't exactly talking to him—was nothing to complain about. **** The auditions weren't quite the drudge Liam thought they'd be. Most of the keyboardists, drummers, and bassists 32

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who tried out were from established bands that had broken up. Either that, or they were studio musicians who'd been in the game awhile. Some of them clearly weren't a good fit for the band, but they were all damned talented and a pleasure to listen to. The last guy, Elec Reardon, turned out to the bassist for the band Roman Soldier. Liam was surprised to see him, considering Roman Soldier was still going strong. Liam should know. The group was one of his favorites. He recognized Elec instantly. "Man, what are you doing here?" Liam clasped Elec's corded wrist. "Last I heard, you guys were on tour in Germany." He studied Elec's face. "They toss you out, or what?" Elec shook his head. "Let's just say I have a feeling it's coming." The pressure of his fingers on Liam's wrist intensified. "I'm family, if you know what I mean." "Holy shit." Liam couldn't stop the laugh that welled inside him. "You tell me you're queer and I swear I won't believe it." "That's the reaction I had when I picked up my morning paper nine days ago and read about you." Elec laughed, dropping Liam's hand but keeping eye contact. "Liam Daniels. The last person I ever would've expected to come out of the closet." "Dragged out kicking and screaming is more like it." Liam shook his head, but he was still smiling. Damned if it didn't feel good to talk to someone who wasn't judging him—who was, in fact, going through the same damned thing. "I take it the rest of your group isn't open-minded toward gays." 33

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"The lead singer opens cans with his teeth and pisses in the sink. What do you think?" Elec winked at him, then hefted his bass. "Where do you want me?" Liam had asked the rest of the candidates to play cold for them, but all of a sudden he felt the need for an old-fashioned jam session. "You know our songs?" "Like the back of my fucking hand," Elec said. He brushed a strand of longish black hair out of his eyes. "I'm a fan from way back." Liam pointed to his Gibson, propped on a stand in the corner. "Feel like playing with me?" "Hell yes." Elec walked over to the amps set in the center of the room and plugged in. Liam looked at Joey and Brody. "You guys gonna play with us?" Joey was first to say no. "Two sets of strings are enough. I want to hear how the two of you sound together. Can't listen if I'm too busy strumming my own shit." Liam looked at Brody, who was watching him with a dark, unreadable expression. "You up for vocals?" Brody just shook his head, never said a word. Liam forced himself not to roll his eyes. Used to be he loved talking to Brody, could bullshit with him for hours. Now Liam couldn't say a word without making him mad as hell. He pushed his frustration aside and grabbed his guitar. "Let's do Unspoken Fear," Liam said as he plugged in. He draped the strap over his shoulders, the Gibson warm and right in his hands. "That cool with you?" 34

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"Damn straight." Elec waited until Liam started, then joined in with the throbbing bass line Liam had written into the song. It wasn't a long song, only about three minutes, but it seemed to go on forever as Liam lost himself in the music. Elec's sound was the perfect compliment to his, and as soon as Unspoken Fear was finished, Liam went right into another song, Elec following along effortlessly. They did that with three more songs before Liz finally called a halt to it. "Hey." The music was so loud—so deep inside him and perfect— that Liam tried to ignore her. It wasn't until she unplugged both their amps that he gave in. "Sorry," he said without a trace of repentance. Liam propped the Gibson back on the stand in the corner before coming around again to clap Elec on the back. "Damn, man, you weren't kidding about knowing the music." "I like quality." Elec smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Quality just happens to be what you write." "And you played the hell out of it," Joey said, his hand outstretched. He and Elec shook. "I say you're in. Hell, not even Marco could play our stuff like that." "Not that I actually get one," Liz said, "but you have my vote." Elec gave her a husky laugh. "Pretty lady like you ought to have all the say-so in the world." "What's all this shit about you being gay?" Brody pushed up from the chair where he'd been sitting the whole time, his 35

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expression stony. "Was that just a line to get in good with our fearless leader?" Elec blinked, and it was clear he hadn't expected the attack. "You got a problem with queers?" "What I have a problem with," Brody said, carefully enunciating every word, "is guys who claim to be bent then hit on chicks." Liam looked at Brody, wondering where in the hell his easy-going friend had gone. "Brody, he wasn't—" "It's okay, Liam. I think I understand what's going on here." Elec's eyes never left Brody's face. "To answer your question, yeah, I'm gay, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a pretty woman when I see one." This time his eyes shifted to Liam, and his lips curved into a smile that was about nothing but sex. "Or a hot ass." Brody's hands knotted into fists. "Don't call us, asshole, and we won't call you." Before Elec could answer, Brody stalked out of the live room. Liz opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "Damn. I ... I'm at a loss." Joey wasn't. "I still say you're hired. Just because Brody's taken a sudden trip into Bastardville doesn't mean we're gonna let him fuck up the band. We need you, man." Liam nodded, then held out his hand. "You're hired." Elec clasped his fingers in a tight grip. "What about Chapman?" "He'll come around." Even as he said it, Liam wondered if he was telling the truth. 36

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Elec thanked him, but his expression was openly doubtful. Liam left Joey, Liz, and Elec to hash out contracts, then started down the hall in search of Brody. Liam found him standing not far from the bank of elevators at the front of the building. Brody had his back to Liam and was talking into his cell phone. "How did you get this number, you prick?" Brody waited two breaths, then said, "No comment, fuckhead. You wanna know if I'm gay? Offer your sorry ass up and see whether or not I take it." He clicked the phone off, then whirled to glare at Liam. "You enjoying the show?" Liam took a long, slow breath. This was his fault, and he needed to remember that instead of getting angry. "I'm sorry. I had no idea reporters were gonna go after you and the rest of the band." "And if you had?" Brody jammed his phone into the front pocket of his jeans. "I don't know." He shoved his hand through his hair. "If I'd known Adam was going to do this, maybe I could've—" "Done what? Bought him off, spun some more lies, played it straight while you went out and chased tail?" Brody's lips curled in disgust. "Cheer up. At least now you can openly screw your new bass player." That was it. Guilt be damned, but Liam had had enough of Brody's shit. "What the hell's your problem?" Liam got in Brody's personal space, so close they were almost touching. "Do you hate me now because I'm gay, or is just me in general you all of a sudden despise?" 37

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"To hell with this." Brody spun away from him and jammed his hand against the elevator button. It opened immediately, and he stepped inside. "I'm out of here," he said as the doors began to close. "Not until you talk to me." Liam's arm shot out, stopping the doors from closing. He stepped inside, then hit the close button before Brody could stop him. Brody crossed his arms over his chest and said nothing as the elevator started down. Liam wet his lips. He'd wanted to talk, and there was really only one thing to say. "It's you, Brody." Brody just looked at him. "Excuse me?" "The reason Adam and I broke up." Liam closed his eyes and went for it just as the elevator came to a stop. "I left him because I'm in love with you." "Go to hell, you son of a bitch." Brody shouldered Liam out of the way and stormed from the elevator into the dark parking garage. For a minute, Liam stood there, heart shattering into a thousand razor sharp pieces. Just tell him everyone—even Adam—had said. Brody deserves to know how you feel. Well, Liam had told him, all right. And look where it had gotten him, standing in an elevator, torn between the urge to cry and the urge to go after Brody and demand to know why he wasn't good enough. The urge to go after Brody won out. Liam caught up with him just as Brody was about to climb into his SUV. Probably rented, Liam thought, but then Brody 38

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turned around to glare at him, and Liam remembered why he'd gone after him in the first place. He cleared his scratchy throat. "Look, I ... I know you don't swing that way, and I also know I've most likely destroyed what little friendship we had left, but I thought I owed you the truth." "You know fuck-all about the truth," Brody spat. "Fuck-all about the truth, and fuck-all about me." "Fine." Liam felt like he was bleeding internally. He'd feared Brody would hate him if the man'd known Liam was gay, and that's exactly what had happened. Liam was tired. Tired of hiding, tired of fighting, and most of all, tired of the constant ache in the region of his heart. He met Brody's eyes. "You and me, we're not friends anymore. I get it." He shoved his hands over his face, not surprised to see they were shaking. "Look, do whatever you want about the band. Stay, quit, whatever. Either way, I won't bother you anymore. Have a nice life." Feet feeling like they were trudging through concrete, Liam walked away. He should've known Brody wasn't finished. "Oh no you don't. You wanted to talk, remember." Footsteps sounded, and then Brody was right behind him. He put his hand on Liam's shoulder and turned him around. "So talk." Liam went to walk around him, but Brody stepped into his path. "Get out of my way, Brody." "No," Brody said with an odd edge to his voice. "You were right. We need to talk. You've had your say, and now I'm going to have mine." 39

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From the expression on Brody's face, Liam had a good idea what his next words were going to be. Liam had accepted the fact that Brody couldn't care less whether he lived or died, but damned if he wanted to hear him say it. His only defense was anger. "Fuck you. I'm outta here." "You can leave after you listen to me." "Yeah?" Liam let his mouth fall into a hard line. "And you can suck my cock. I told you, I'm done." Brody's nostrils flared. "What did you just say to me?" "You heard me. I'm leaving, and if you don't like it, you can suck my cock." "That's what I thought you said." With those words, Brody backed Liam against the orange-painted support pillar behind him, and went to work on Liam's fly. The jeans—an old pair of button-flies Liam had bought years ago and worn down to nothing but a soft, thin layer of denim—yielded easily. Brody freed Liam's cock, dropped to his knees, and started sucking him off. "Jesus Christ." Liam didn't know at first whether to push him away or pull him in closer. Then Brody's soft mouth went to work on him, tongue circling the head, alternating between a gentle licking and a hard sucking. Liam leaned back against the pillar and closed his eyes. Without thinking about it, he threaded his fingers over Brody's scratchy crop of hair. If Brody noticed, it didn't affect what he was doing. He kept sucking, one hand dipping into Liam's jeans to cradle his balls. 40

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If Liam had to guess, he'd say this wasn't the first blow job Brody had ever given. Before he could think too hard about it, Brody gathered some of the saliva dripping off Liam's cock, and without ever letting Liam slip from his mouth, slid his finger into Liam's ass. "Oh, shit." Liam felt the pull clear to his toes just as Brody nailed his glad. "God, I'm gonna come." Brody pulled off him and started pumping Liam with his hand. Brody locked gazes with him as Liam shot all over Brody's fingers. Liam nearly fell down from the sheer pleasure of it. This was Brody, the man he'd wanted for six years. The man he'd loved almost that long. The man who was staring up at him with horror. "Oh God." Brody came to his feet, absently wiping his wet hand on his jeans. "Oh God, what have I done?" "Wait." Liam stretched out his arm, then realized his pants were still undone and his dick was still hanging out. He hurried to button up, and Brody used that brief diversion to make a break for his car. "Wait," Liam called again, but it was too late. Brody climbed into the SUV and sped off, taking the last shreds of Liam's self respect and dignity with him. **** Liam wasn't sure how he made it back to his hotel room. He remembered nothing of the drive, and nothing of the journey to his room. What he did remember was calling room service and ordering enough tequila to intoxicate the state of Rhode Island. Cuervo Gold, the good stuff. The hotel sent up 41

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a tray with glasses, lime wedges, and a couple of salt shakers. Liam drank it straight out of the bottle. For a guy who'd sworn off liquor in the early days of the band—after one of their roadies died of alcohol poisoning— Liam was able to throw back a fair amount of the stuff without gagging. Like the Southern Comfort of a few nights ago, the biting taste made him a little queasy at first, but he was able to push past the burn. He needed to forget the horror written across Brody's face, and damned if he knew any other way to do it. He blacked out halfway through the bottle. Liam woke sometime later. A first he thought it was the wrenching pain in his stomach that brought him around. It wasn't until he opened his eyes and saw paramedics hovering over him that he realized he'd been woken by a siren. He was in the back of an ambulance. Something was strapped over his face. A mask, over his mouth. Liam reached up to pull it off, but a strong hand with tattooed knuckles stopped him. "Easy, dumbass. Just lay there and let them help you." There was affection in that voice. Affection and fear. Brody. Even in a haze of booze and agony, Liam recognized him. He was also aware enough to realize Brody was clutching his left hand in a death grip. Liam managed by sheer force of will to make his gritty eyes focus on Brody's image. He was wearing the same white t-shirt he'd worn to the auditions that morning, but this time the front of Brody's shirt was covered with dark splashes of 42

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blood. Liam tried again to remove the mask, and again, Brody, stopped him. "No, baby, don't do that." Brody smoothed his fingers over Liam's hair. "Just lay still. You're gonna be okay, swear to God." Liam wasn't sure he believed him. He was starting to get scared. If Brody was calling him "baby" and stroking his head, whatever was wrong with him had to be bad. "His blood pressure's spiking." It must have been one of the medics who said it, because the next thing Liam knew, they were giving him so kind of shot through an IV he hadn't even known was in his hand. A few seconds after that, the lights went out again. **** Liam woke, groggy and sore, to find himself lying in a hospital bed. His father was sitting in a chair beside him. "So you've decided to wake up, have you?" Edward Daniels came to sit on the edge of the bed, his beefy hand running up and down Liam's arm as if checking to make sure it was still attached. "How do you feel, boy?" Liam's mouth was sticky and thick. It took him a minute to speak past the metallic taste of blood. "What happened?" "You almost drank yourself to death, is what." Edward made an angry face, but Liam knew him well enough to know the anger was only to cover up his father's fear. "I'll get the doctor. He can explain it better than me."

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Edward left and came back a few minutes later with Liam's mother, Helene, and a doctor who looked to be about fourteen. Helene came around the bed to hold Liam's hand. "I'm Dr. Swafford." The doctor smiled, making him look older than Liam first thought. "You gave us quite a scare, Mr. Daniels." Liam licked his lips as best he could considering he couldn't seem to summon enough moisture to even swallow. "I remember drinking tequila." Helene made a noise of disapproval, her thin fingers digging into Liam's wrist as she held on for dear life. Dr. Swafford ignored her reaction in the way only a doctor could and said, "A little tequila, in moderation, is fine. A lot of tequila, especially for someone in your condition, is a death wish." "My condition?" Liam blinked. That brought Swafford up short. "You mean you didn't know?" When Liam shook his head, the doctor grabbed his chart from the foot of the bed and flipped through it. Looking back up at Liam, he said, "You have a gastric ulcer, Mr. Daniels. I know who you are—and what you've been going through—so I'm not surprised about the ulcer. What does surprise me is that you didn't know. Haven't you been suffering stomach pain? At the very least, you should have had some nausea or burning." Before Liam could answer, a voice from the door said, "He pops antacids like they're going out of style, and he drinks Pepto for breakfast." 44

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Brody. Liam turned to find him standing in the doorway, looking at Liam like he was the only one in the room. "I see." Dr. Swafford paid no attention to the bi-play between Liam and Brody, instead going on with his diagnosis. "Makes sense. There's no way of knowing how long you've had this ulcer, but the recent media events evidently caused enough stress to make the ulcer bleed. Add a half a bottle of tequila to a bleeding ulcer and you have a potential hemorrhage on your hands. If your boyfriend hadn't brought you in when he did, you very well could've bled to death." Liam heard the words ulcer and hemorrhage, but he only focused on the doctor's use of one word. "Boyfriend?" "Dr. Swafford," Edward said, coming to his feet. "Why don't you come outside in the hall with us, and we'll discuss Liam's course of treatment?" The doctor seemed to understand, following Edward to the door almost immediately, but Helene wasn't budging. "Helene?" Liam's mother ignored her husband. "Helene, please." Edward was using the same voice he always used to make his wife do his bidding. "The boys need to talk." Helene sniffed. "They talk later, them." But she was already going to the door. On the way there, she gave Brody a quivering glare. "Hurt him again, you, and you answer to me." "I won't." Brody wasn't backing down an inch. After a long, tense minute, Helene gave a curt nod and left with Edward 45

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and the doctor. Brody waited until the door closed behind them, then came to stand beside Liam's bed. "You okay?" "Yeah, thanks to you, apparently." Liam eased back into his nest of pillows, his eyes never leaving Brody's face. "I remember the ambulance ride, but not much else. What happened?" "I went to your hotel room last night." Brody grabbed the chair Edward had vacated earlier and scooted it as close to the bed as it would go, then plopped into it. "I wanted to talk, you know? To apologize for the parking garage." Liam closed his eyes. He didn't want to see Brody's regret. Brody surprised him by reaching for his hand. "I'm not sorry it happened, just sorry for the way it happened." Brody rubbed the pad of his thumb back and forth over Liam's palm. "Liam, please, look at me." Liam opened his eyes to find Brody looking at him with a new expression, one Liam had always prayed to see but never thought he would. Brody was looking at Liam like Liam was the most important person in his world. "I never thought I had a shot with you," Brody said. "Never thought you saw me as anything other than your lead singer." Liam's stomach gave a tumble that had nothing to do with his ulcer and everything to do with the strange euphoria building inside him. "Couldn't you tell, the way I was always fussing over you after concerts and on tour?" He managed a smile. "Joey sure picked up on it quick." 46

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Brody shook his head. "I told myself you were only protecting your investment, making sure your singer was at top performance." "I've never seen you as an investment, Brody. I wanted you from the moment I first saw you. And as I got to know you, it turned into more than just the nagging urge to get into your pants." Liam opened his hand and then folded his fingers into Brody's. "I never suspected you might be gay. Sounds clichéd, but it's true." He made a face. "You were always talking with Gunner and Robin about getting laid. I just figured you were out banging chicks every night." "I've had my share of women," Brody said with a shrug, "and I've enjoyed every one of them. Had my share of guys, too." His eyes bore into Liam's. "Then I started falling for you and I realized none of them meant a fucking thing." Liam was almost giddy, but he was also afraid to trust the feeling. "If you wanted me so much, why the freak out in the garage?" "You have to understand, all this time ... I was sure you were straight. Then Liz came in with those gossip rags and I..." Brody trailed off, his fingers tightening around Liam's. "When I found out that you'd given your heart to that son-ofa-bitch Gates—that he'd turned on you like that—I didn't even think, just hopped on the first plane out. Finding him wasn't hard, since the name of his bar was mentioned like a thousand times in all those papers. All I could think about was making him pay for what he'd done to you."

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Liam trailed a finger from the hand with the IV over the bruises on the back of Brody's right-hand knuckles. "You could've been hurt." "Didn't matter. Just wanted to hurt him like he'd hurt you." "You were wrong about one thing," Liam said. "Adam never had my heart. Not even close." Brody sighed. "You could have told me that, could've spared us both a world of grief." "How was I supposed to know I wouldn't get my ass kicked if I told you how I felt. You saw how Marco and his cronies handled Liz's little announcement." The weight of it was back on him, making Liam feel more tired than he thought any man should. "And it isn't like you welcomed the news with open arms. You've been royally pissed at me ever since you found out." "Give me a break, would ya?" Brody's tone was apologetic, pleading, and cute as all get out. "I was hurt that you didn't tell me, jealous of the piece of shit Gates, and worried you didn't want me or you would've already said something." He gave a husky laugh. "A shit-load of emotions for a guy who's never considered himself overly deep." Liam returned the laugh, and it felt damned good to be able to relax for the first time in forever. "You don't have anything to be jealous about." "How was I supposed to know that?' Brody said. "Then in walks that stupid bass player yesterday, flirting with you like he had a right, and I just lost it." He swiped his free hand over his face. "I just knew you were wanting to hook up with 48

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him. And when you followed me into the garage and told me you were in love with me—" "You thought I was messing with your head." Liam licked his lips. "You and I need to work on our communication skills." "No shit." Brody let go of Liam long enough to pour him a glass of water from the pitcher on the bedside table. He pressed it into Liam's hand. "Anyway, I was so mad at you, when you told me to suck your cock, I decided to take you literally and damn the consequences." Liam leaned up and took a careful sip of the water, sputtering a little as it glided over his dry mouth. Brody steadied his hand as Liam chanced another drink, this one going down smoother. Liam drained the rest of the cup, then handed it to Brody to set aside. Once done, he said, "Not to seem dumb, but if I'm what you wanted, why did you go apeshit after it happened?" "I thought maybe I'd ruined my chance at anything real with you, going at you like some sex maniac in a dark garage." Brody's face colored. "Like I couldn't control myself." "I kind of liked that part." Liam brought Brody's hand up to rest on his sore stomach. "Couldn't you tell?" "After I'd already run scared, yeah. I got home, started thinking about how you weren't exactly fighting me off. Went to your hotel, decided I was going to come clean with you about how I felt." He shuddered. "You wouldn't answer the door, but I could hear you, moaning and retching on the other side. Damn near kicked the thing down before security came and let me in. When I found you, unconscious and 49

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bleeding..." A thin sheen a moisture clouded Brody's eyes. "I thought I'd go out of my mind on the way to the hospital." He narrowed those same, misty eyes. "What the hell were you thinking, throwing back vodka like water?" "It was tequila," Liam offered weakly. "I don't care if it was pure grain alcohol," Brody said with a hard edge. "Your drinking days are through. As soon as the docs sign off on you, I'm taking you home with me where I can keep an eye on you." "You want me to stay with you?" "That's what I just said, isn't it?" Brody rolled his eyes. "Why do you think your mother is so mad at me? As soon as Liz called them, she and your dad flew down here. Mrs. Daniels told me in no uncertain terms she was taking you home to Canada to recuperate. I told her that wasn't going to happen." "Oh man." Liam was impressed. "You've got balls if you stood up to my mom." "Tell me about it. I'd already claimed to be your boyfriend just so the docs would let me stay with you. Your mom wasn't too crazy about that, either." Brody sniffed. "Kept saying you needed to find yourself a good French-Canadian boy, settle down and make babies." Liam laughed long and full then, not caring about the twinges it caused to his stomach. Being happy was a new experience for him. When he finally calmed down, he looked at Brody and said, "Is that what you want? To be my boyfriend, settle down and make babies?" 50

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Brody winked at him. "Come home with me and we'll talk about it." "You don't have to twist my arm. That's the best offer I've had all day." He hesitated. "Just ... what does that make us?" "We're two guys, getting to know each other in a new way, on a level playing field. Dr. Swafford says you'll need at least a month of antibiotics and acid reducing drugs before you're in top shape again." Brody stiffened. "Not to mention you're going to be weak from all the blood loss." Brody was getting upset; Liam could see it. He reached out with the IV-tethered hand and stroked Brody's face. "I'm okay, I swear it. Thanks to you, I'll be fine." "Nevertheless, if you want to be ready for the Christmas benefit concert, you're going to need some TLC." Brody grinned. "So what about it? You in?" Liam smiled. "I'm yours as long as you want me." **** "Home" with Brody wasn't quite what Liam expected. He'd thought Brody would bring him to one of the luxury hotels downtown—at most one of those residential extended stay hotels that catered to the celebrity crowd. He never expected Brody to bring him to a Holmby Hills mansion with a "sold" sign in the front yard. Liam blinked up at him as Brody came around the help him out of the car. "When did you do this?" Brody stood Liam by the side of the car, smacking at his hand when Liam tried to reach for one of his bags. "Don't even think about it. Three days after nearly bleeding to death, 51

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you try picking up one of those bags and I'll bend you over my knee." Liam waggled his brows. "Didn't know you had a kinky side." "Shh," but Brody was laughing when he said it. "Your mom and dad are inside." "In that case," Liam said, "there's something you'd better do before we go in." "Yeah?" Brody came in a little closer. "And what's that?" "Kiss me." When Brody hesitated, Liam rushed to say, "I know some guys aren't into kissing other guys and if that's not your thing—" "Kissing," Brody said as he put his hands on Liam's waist and dragged him as close as he could get him, "happens to be one of my favorite things." He titled his head and brought his mouth down on Liam's. Brody tasted of the mint gum he'd been chewing all morning, and of coffee. It was a sweet, spicy taste that went straight to Liam's head. Brody slid his tongue against Liam's, and that's when Liam's cock decided to wake up. He'd thought the painkillers they'd been shoving down his throat had rendered him momentarily incapable of getting hard, but it seemed a stomach full of painkillers were no match for Brody's kick-ass mouth. Liam moaned and wrapped his arms around Brody's neck, sculpting his body against Brody's in a bid to ease the ache. "Easy." Brody broke away with a breathless laugh. "I'm already on thin ice with your folks. Fucking you blind in the 52

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middle of the driveway probably isn't going to endear me to them." "God." Liam rested his forehead head against Brody's. "I haven't wanted anybody this bad since I first got laid back in high school." Brody grabbed a suitcase with one hand, Liam with the other. Liam noticed he wasn't the only one throwing wood. "Guy or girl?" Liam was still thinking about Brody's dick, and it took him a minute to get the question. "The first time, you mean?" When Brody nodded, Liam said, "Guy. I've never been with a woman Surprised the hell out of me the band didn't notice." Brody led him up the front walk. "You've dated. Hell, you've been out with more models than the whole band combined." "They were friends, and before you ask, none of them knew about me." Before Brody could respond to that, the front door flew open and his mother, closely followed by Liz, rushed out. "There you are." Helene grabbed him in a tight but careful hug. "I was worried, me." Liam kissed her check and allowed her to usher him inside. "I'm okay, Maman. Just a little tired." "Not too tired for a party, I hope." Joey came into the hall, his smile bright as ever. "Man, is it good to see you." He pulled Liam into a one armed hug. "Me and Liz, we wanted to come to the hospital, but Brody thought it would be better if we waited." 53

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Liam understood. He and Brody had talked about that very thing. The press knew he'd been hospitalized, but Liz had managed to spin it as exhaustion from last minute preparations for the benefit concert. "Give the man some room to sit down," Brody said, then led Liam through the marble-tiled foyer to a great room with at least a twenty-foot ceiling and a metal-railed balcony off the second floor. The room was furnished tastefully, and Liam was pretty sure Brody must've hired a decorator because the whole place looked like something out of House Beautiful. "Man, this place is spectacular." Liam eased himself onto an overstuffed sofa. He repeated his question from earlier. "When did you buy it?" "About a month ago." Brody placed the suitcase he was still carrying against the wall. "Decided it was time to put down roots, and this seemed like the place to do it." He might have said more, but the doorbell rang. A minute later, Liam was surrounded by all five of his sisters, all five of his brothers-in-law, and fourteen nieces and nephews. The impromptu welcome home party lasted the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. At dinner time, Liam's sisters, his mother, and all the nieces took over the kitchen, while his dad, brothers-in-law and nephews went to tour the grounds. That left Liz, Joey, Brody, and Liam to sit for a moment in relative quiet. Liam looked at Liz. "How come you didn't go with the rest of the women?" Liz wrinkled her nose. "You don't want me to cook." "Trust her," Joey said. "She's telling the truth." 54

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Liz leaned over to smack him, and Joey pulled her down on his lap. They started kissing, much to Liam's slack-jawed astonishment. "You two? Since when?" Liz turned pink, but Joey only laughed. "I've only had a thing for her for like five years now. Finally convinced her to give me a chance a couple of days ago." He ran his hand over Liz's hair. "I figure if you and Brody can make a go of it, why not me and Liz?" Liam didn't say anything. He and Brody were way too new for him to talk about. Instead, he leaned back and allowed himself to soak up the warmth of being surrounded by his family and friends. For a guy who'd been hiding for so damned long, it was nice to be accepted for who he was for a change. Liz and Joey stayed for a while longer, then left right after the huge meal Liam's mom and her cohorts had prepared. Liz said it was to go work off all the calories brought on by Helene's delicious French cuisine, but Liam had a feeling Liz and Joey were looking for a way to burn calories that would see them both naked and horizontal. Liam didn't blame them. His family could be overwhelming even if you weren't horny and desperate to be alone. As for Brody, he seemed to enjoy the noise and chaos of Liam's extended clan. Liam was amazed, considering Brody was an only child and both his parents were dead. Brody and Helene were trying to make their peace, it seemed, with Helene actually speaking to him without snarling like a cat. And it was clear from their reactions that Liam's sisters and nieces were smitten with Brody. 55

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Even so, Brody had his limits, and when it became obvious Liam was getting worn out, Brody called a halt to the evening. "I think that's enough for tonight, folks," Brody said. "We'll leave you guys to the house, and Liam and I are going to head to the guest cottage." Guest cottage? This was the first Liam had even heard of a guest cottage. Helene was none too pleased with the idea. "Liam can stay here, with his family. Brody can take the cottage, him." "Helene," Edward said with a smile on his face, "leave the boys in peace." He put once hand on Brody's shoulder and the other on Liam's, then whispered, "You boys better get while the getting's good." Brody didn't waste any time. He shooed Liam out the back door, over the patio and across the lawn, then down the short walkway to the guest house. "Your house is amazing," Liam said as they went through the door of the guest house. "He thought about his massive family. "Is there enough room for everybody?" Brody laughed. "There are nine bedrooms, so some of your nieces and nephews will be sleeping on air mattresses on the floor, but I figured it was better than having them all stay in a hotel." Liam eyed him for a minute. "You planned this carefully, huh?" "Since the minute I found out you were coming home from the hospital. Called them, invited them, and then made all the arrangements." Brody pulled a key from his pocket and opened the arched door of the guesthouse. "You ready?" Liam 56

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nodded. Brody swung the door open, and Liam followed him inside. The guest house was one large room, with a kitchen in one corner, and a great room on the other side. Unlike the main house, this part was decorated with personal touches. Vicious Heart's gold albums decorated the walls, and a brick platform was built up form the floor and against one wall, just the perfect size for a drum kit, a keyboard, two guitarists, a bassist and a singer. Brody followed Liam's gaze and grinned. "I thought this would be a good place for us to practice when we're in town. We'd still have to record at the studio, of course, but..." "But you want us to get back to our old-fashioned, jammin' roots." Brody nodded. "Back in the early days, we didn't have a pot to piss in, but we were happy, you know? It was all about the music." He took Liam's hand and pulled him over to a couch in front of the fireplace. "I'm sorry about Gunner and the rest. I never thought they'd bail on us like that." "Doesn't matter now." Liam sat and brought Brody down with him. "Liz and Joey think Kevin Castle, that guy from Studio Nine is going to make us one hell of a replacement for Gunner." "I agree." Brody settled in beside him so their legs were touching. "Man is heck on wheels with a keyboard. Joey and I liked Pete Cohen for drums." "Me too." Liam picked up Brody's hand and started playing with it. "What about bass?" 57

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"Nice instrument, but I'm partial to lead guitars, myself." He slipped his arm around Liam's waist. "More to the point, I like lead guitarists." "I'm trying to be serious here. What about Elec Reardon?" Liam tilted his head to better see Brody. "I think he's the right fit for the band. Joey and Liz agree. Hired him, in fact." "I know, and you were right to do it. He is a good fit for Vicious Heart." Brody narrowed his eyes. "But not for you." "Nope. Not for me." Liam ran his fingers over Brody's head. "Elec has too much hair." Brody laughed, the sound slow and deep. He pulled Liam in close, and a minute later they were kissing. A minute after that, kissing wasn't enough. "Let's take this to bed," Liam said. "God, I want to." Brody nuzzled his neck. "I'm not convinced you're up to it, though." "I am." Liam was already on his feet, tugging on Brody's hand. "I asked Doc Swafford before I left the hospital and he says I'm not up for any sexual gymnastics, but basic me-andyou-in-bed-together ought to be fine." He made a face. "With all these damned drugs in my system, I may not be able to keep it up, though." Brody took him over to the stairs at the fair corner of the great room. "It doesn't have to be tonight. Just you, being here. That's what I wanted." "I want that, too." Liam started up the stairs. "That and more." The loft was great. There was a spacious bathroom to one side, but the best part was the California king-sized bed 58

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smack in the middle of the square space. Liam wasn't lost to the fact that all his things had been moved here from the hotel. Neither was he blind to the industrial sized bottle of lube on the nightstand. "What, no condoms?" Brody went still, looking at Liam with an intensity that took his breath away. "I've always used them before." "Me too." Brody pulled his shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor, but his eyes stayed trained on Liam's face. In the dim glow of the bedside lamp, the colors of the tattoos covering his chest and arms were muted and jumbled. "I don't want to. Not with you." He unsnapped his jeans. "I'm clean. Been tested every six months for the last five years, and haven't been with anyone in over a year and a half." Liam believed him. The truth in his words was impossible to miss. "So all that talk after concerts lately about getting laid—" "Was to get your attention. For the last eighteen months it has been, anyway." Brody toed off his socks and shoes, then shucked his jeans. He'd gone commando. That's when Liam's mouth started to water. He'd seen Brody in various stages of undress before— changing in dressing rooms and tour busses made for close company—but never without at least a pair of boxers on. Brody was long, thick and cut. He had a steel ring going through the tip of his prick. "Damn," Liam said. "Just damn." He reached out and stroked the smooth, hot flesh, then gave the PA a tug. 59

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Brody groaned. "That feels good, and you're wearing too many clothes." He grabbed the hem of Liam's ratty old t-shirt and tugged it up and over his head. Liam lifted his arms to accommodate him, then went back to stroking Brody's cock as soon as the shirt was out of the way. It was when Brody went to work on Liam's zipper that Liam remembered what they'd been talking about. "I am, too." He moaned as Brody reached into his boxers and started playing with his balls. "Clean, I mean. Regular tests, haven't been with anybody since Adam last year and even then always used a condom." "Can we talk about anything besides that worthless asshole?" Brody spread his hands out a little, then yanked Liam's boxers and jeans down his legs in one swift tug. "Sorry." Liam fell back onto the bed to let Brody get his shoes and socks off. "He's history." "Damned right." Brody removed the rest of Liam's clothes, then climbed, panther-like, on top of him. "We do this—go bareback tonight and any other night—that makes it me and you from here on out. Can you handle that?" Could he handle that? Liam had been praying for it for eternity and a half. He pushed Brody onto his back and reversed their positions so Liam was on top. "You can take this as a yes." And then Liam was kissing him, again. Brody's cock was hard and leaking against him. Liam was only half-hard thanks to all the Demerol in his system—not to mention the anti-nausea and acid-reducing meds. Even so, Liam was planning to enjoy the hell out of this. 60

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"Top or bottom?" Brody blinked heavy-lidded eyes at him. His lips were swollen from their kisses, and he looked so sexy Liam's cock firmed up a bit more. "Huh?" "Are you a top or a bottom?" Liam gave the ring in Brody's prick another sharp tug. "Oh God." Brody gritted his teeth, sweat breaking out on his forehead. "Switch." "Good." Liam reached for the lube. "I'm gonna ride you." "You sure? The doctor—" "I told you, he said as long as we're careful, it's okay." Liam squeezed out a dollop of lube, then tossed the bottle aside and went to work slicking Brody up. "Besides," Liam tweaked Brody's PA, "I want to feel this bad boy deep in my ass." Brody's eyes rolled back in his head. Liam kept one hand on Brody's cock and used the other to reach around and stretch himself. Brody pushed his hand away, swiped some lube off his own cock, and then started fingering Liam's hole. Being fingered was one of Liam's favorite things, especially with Brody, who had long fingers and could reach his glad on every stroke. Liam's cock was fully awake now, and it wanted Brody. "I'm ready." Liam rose up over him, steadied Brody's dick with one hand, and slowly lowered himself down. Brody was hot, hard, and perfect. He must've thought Liam was pretty perfect, too, because he said, "Oh fuck. So tight." He pulled Liam down for a kiss. "So good." 61

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There was no pain—to either his ass or his still-healing stomach. Liam gave himself a minute to adjust to Brody's size, then started a slow, up and down slide. "Oh shit." Brody's hands held tight to Liam's waist. "Baby ... not gonna last." Liam tightened his muscles, his only intention to bring Brody pleasure. That's when Brody grabbed Liam's cock and started pumping it hard. Demerol be damned, but the drugs in Liam's system were nothing compared to the duel assaults on his prostate and cock. For the second time in less than a week, he came in Brody's hand. Brody was right behind him. As soon as Liam's spasms subsided, Brody pulled Liam down on top of him, thrust upward, and filled Liam's ass. They lay like that for a long time, until Brody had the good sense to get a rag and clean them both up. Liam was too tired to do more than just lay there, but Brody didn't seem to mind. "Get some sleep." Brody spooned in behind him. "I want you up for round two in the morning." Liam only smiled, and a few minutes after that, he did something he'd always wanted to do. He fell asleep in Brody Chapman's arms. **** When Liam woke up the next morning, Brody was gone. He'd left Liam a note—something about breakfast—but Liam only half read it before stumbling into the shower. 62

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The warm spray felt good to his sore body. Now that some of the pain killers were starting to wear off, Liam's stomach was making himself known, but it wasn't bad enough to warrant more pills. Besides, Liam had more important things than a stomach ache on his mind. Like a redo of last night. The shower door opened, and a naked Brody stepped inside. "What are you smiling about?" "If you don't know, your memory is too short." Liam greeted him with a kiss. "Where you been?" "Main house. Your mom called about seven, told me to come fetch her bebe some breakfast and to be quick about it." Liam laughed. "And so you said, 'Yes ma'am' and got your butt over there." He grabbed up the soap and started washing Brody's chest. "Bet that sweet ass I did. Your breakfast is waiting for you on the bedside table. Your mom, she's nobody to mess with." "Believe it or not, I think she's going to like you." Liam made soap circles over Brody's flat stomach, dulling the riot of color with suds. "I don't think I realized just how many tats you had until last night." He brought his fingers up over Brody's arms. "Does each one of them mean something special to you?" "Yeah. I got this one," Brody pointed to a crying angel on his left bicep, "the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer and this one," he rubbed his finger across the image of a dying star, "when she passed away." 63

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Liam grabbed a washcloth from the built-in shower seat and used it to rinse Brody's belly. "What about your dad?" He knew from past conversations how close Brody had been with his father. "Right here." Brody smoothed his hand down his side, to the image of a fifty-five Chevy done in cherry red. "This was my dad's car, the one me and him spent weekends working on when I was a kid. After his heart attack, I thought getting the ink would be a perfect way to remember him." There were others, too many for Liam to count, but it was the lack of ink on Brody's back he wondered about. "How come your back is clean?" "I've always looked at my body as a canvas. My back I've been saving for something special." He pulled Liam into the cradle of his hips. "It's gonna sound corny as hell, but I was waiting until I fell in love." He brought his hands up to cup Liam's face. "I have a feeling I'm going to be getting more ink, and soon." Liam didn't say anything, just let the water—and Brody— work their magic. **** Liam's parents and siblings stayed the rest of the week before heading back to Canada. Liam hated to see them go, but at the same time, he and the band had to get back to work, and it was hard to do that with his parents and sisters hovering over him. He dropped his folks off at the airport, his sisters and their families having left earlier in the day. Helene gave him a tight 64

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hug and said, "I like your Brody. Not Canadian, him, but he will do." Edward clapped him on the back. "I know you've got your charity concert on Christmas Eve, but I expect to see you at our house for New Years." He smiled. "Bring Brody with you." Liam had no intention of leaving him behind. The next day saw Brody, Liam, Joey, and the new band members setting up in the guest house for practice. "Man, this place is great." Joey flopped onto the couch while the other guys set up. He watched as Brody—who'd flatly refused to let Liam do anything but sit in the chair and supervise—helped Pete Cohen move his drum kit onto the platform. "You and Brody," Joey said after a minute, "you're a good fit." "You are, you know." This from Elec, who came over with his bass in hand. "The two of you are gonna make it for the long haul, I'm betting." He smiled. "I'm jealous of what you guys have." "You can just stay jealous too." Brody came over with a grin on his face. "This one's off the market." "All right, ladies." Kevin Castle, the new keyboardist who had blinding red hair and a sense of humor that wouldn't quit, pointed to the stage. "Practice. Sick little kids. Big, money raising concert. Ring any bells?" Liam laughed and grabbed his Gibson. Their first practice went better than Liam could've dreamed. It was like Gunner, Marco, and Robin had never existed, and instead Kevin, Elec, and Pete had always been a part of their sound. It was a new sound, and at the same time 65

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so perfectly a part of Vicious Heart that Liam knew—he knew the band wouldn't suffer a second for the changes. The last of the anxiety that had been his constant companion melted away. That night, after everyone had left, Brody took Liam to a Christmas tree farm a few miles outside of the city. It was one of those places where customers pick their own tree and have the attendant cut it for them. Brody wanted a fourteen foot monster to put in the great room of the main house, but Liam wanted a smaller one to go in the guesthouse, so they could see it while they practiced and remember what they were practicing for. They ended up buying both. They gave the attendant their address for delivery, then stopped by a gift shop on the property and bought decorations. That night, when they were lying together in the cavernous master bedroom of the main house, Brody said, "I forgot to ask you what you want for Christmas." Liam brought him in close. "I think I already have it." **** The Christmas Eve cancer benefit was a wilder success than Liam could've dreamed. Seems the shake-up in band members had driven up ticket sales, with some people following the new members from their old bands and some just curious to get a bead on Vicious Heart's new sound. Either way, Liam didn't care. That night they raised a quarter of a million dollars so sick kids and their families could have a little hope. 66

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As usual, Liam was the last to leave the stage, but instead of going straight into the dressing room like he usually did, Liz ushered him outside to where a car was waiting. "What the ... where's Brody?" Liam looked around, but didn't see him. "Just get in the car and you'll find out." Liz gave him a hug. "Trust me." Liam did as he was told. The driver wouldn't tell him where they were going, so Liam just settled back and allowed himself to enjoy the ride. Didn't take them long. Just a short drive and then they were pulling up in front of a strip-mall. The driver opened the door for him. "You want to go into that shop right there, sir." The chauffeur pointed to a sign that said Indie Ink's Tatts and Piercing. "Mr. Chapman is waiting inside for you." Liam had a second to wonder how Brody had gotten there so far ahead of him, then he remembered Brody had left the stage during the last solo Liam and Joey played. Liam was so into the music, it had barely registered. The shop was small but cozy, not what Liam—who had no ink—expected a tattoo parlor to look like. The only people inside were a bald-headed guy with a stud in his nose and an alligator climbing up his skull, and Brody. Brody, who looked nervous as hell and wasn't wearing a shirt. "Gus," Brody said motioning to the bald giant, "this is Liam. Liam, Gus. Gus is the only one I trust to do my tattoos." 67

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That's when Liam remembered what Brody had said about needing more ink, and soon. His heart started to pound. "Yeah?" "Yeah. And I want him to do another one, tonight." Brody chewed his bottom lip. "I've already picked it out. Had Gus sketch it and everything. Just need to get your opinion on it before I have it done." "I'll be waiting in the back room when you're ready," Gus said. "Nice to meet you, Liam." He took off, then, leaving them alone. "So," Liam said in a voice he was surprised came out so steady. "Let's see this sketch." "Right." Brody went over to a counter splitting the middle of the room and removed a piece of paper. "This is what it'll look like when it's done." He handed it to Liam. "Gus has already made the stencil. I ... it'll go right between my shoulder blades, where everybody can see it. During concerts, I mean. You know, cause I always take my shirt off under the light." Brody was babbling. In all the years Liam had known him, he'd never heard Brody babble. Liam looked down at the drawing in his hands. It was a set of entwined gold bands—wedding rings— drawn out in fine detail. It was the words etched onto the bands, though, that got Liam's attention. Liam on one, Brody on the other, and just under them was the word forever, and under that a date. January 1, 2008. 68

Heart Song by Sara Bell

Brody stuck a shaking hand into his pocket. "I ... I know guys don't do the engagement ring thing, so I bought us these." He pulled out a box, flipping it open to reveal two perfect golden replicas of the rings in the drawing. "I got your ring size from your mom, and since you're a Canadian citizen, your dad says we can get married up there and I can apply for dual citizenship and..." He looked at Liam with pleading eyes. "Liam, for God's sakes, say something." Liam laid the drawing on a chair behind him, then closed the distance between Brody and himself. "I've always liked your tattoos, have I ever told you that?" He put his arms on Brody's waist and hauled him in. "I think the new one is going to be the perfect addition." "Oh God, I love you." Brody brought him as close as he could. He was still shaking, but Liam figured it was mostly from relief. "I want you—only you—for the rest of my life." "I love you, too." Joy was rolling off Liam in waves. "I must if I'm crazy enough to agree to a January wedding in Canada. Do you have idea how cold it gets up there, California boy?" "I don't care. You're gonna marry me." Brody picked him up and spun him around. "You're gonna marry me." When Brody finally put him down, Liam said, "What's say we go get you inked, then ask Gus how he feels about doing a matching one for me?" "Liam Daniels is going to get a tattoo?" Brody's eyes went wide. "I thought you were against them." "No, I just always said they were permanent." Liam threaded his fingers through Brody's. "But then, so is this." 69

Heart Song by Sara Bell

"Damned right." And then they were kissing, and it was a long time later that they joined Gus in the back.

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