Handling Peer Pressure (Character Education)

Handling Peer Pressure

Being a Leader and Making Decisions Being Fair and Honest Dealing with Bullying Dealing with Frustration and Anger Handling Peer Pressure Handling Teamwork and Respect for Others Managing Conflict Resolution Managing Responsibilities Overcoming Prejudice

Handling Peer Pressure

KATE STEVENSON CLARK INTRODUCTION BY CONSULTING EDITORS

Madonna M. Murphy, Ph.D. University of St. Francis and Sharon L. Banas former Values Education Coordinator, Sweet Home Central School District, New York

Character Education: Handling Peer ­Pressure Copyright © 2009 by Infobase ­Publishing All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher. For information, ­contact: Chelsea ­House An imprint of Infobase ­Publishing 132 West 31st ­Street New York NY ­10001 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data  ­ Stevenson Clark, Kate.    Handling peer pressure / Kate Stevenson ­Clark.      p.  cm.—(Character education)    Includes bibliographical references and ­index.    ISBN 978-1-60413-120-8 (hardcover)    1.  Peer pressure.   2.  Conformity.   I.  Title.   II. ­ Series.   HQ784.P43C53   2009   303.3’27—dc22     ­ 2008025325 Chelsea House books are available at special discounts when purchased in bulk quantities for businesses, associations, institutions, or sales promotions. Please call our Special Sales Department in New York at (212) 967-8800 or (800) 322-­8755. You can find Chelsea House on the World Wide Web at ­http://www.chelseahouse.com Text design by Annie O’Donnell Cover design by Takeshi ­Takahashi Printed in the United ­States Bang NMSG 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 ­1 This book is printed on ­acid-­free ­paper. All links and Web addresses were checked and verified to be correct at the time of publication. Because of the dynamic nature of the Web, some addresses and links may have changed since publication and may no longer be ­valid.

CONTENTS Introduction

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by Madonna M. Murphy, Ph.D., professor of education at University of St. Francis, Joliet, Illinois, and Sharon L. Banas, former character education coordinator and middle school social studies teacher, Sweet Home School District, Amherst and Tonawanda, New York

1 Peer Pressure in the Real World

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2 The Popularity Game

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3 The Pressure to Fit In

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4 Conforming to a Look

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5 Fanning the Flames of Anger

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6 Under Pressure in the Classroom

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7 Cigarettes, Alcohol, and Other Drugs

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8 Overcoming Peer Pressure

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Glossary

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Bibliography

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Further Resources

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Picture Credits

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Index

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About the Author and Consultants

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Introduction

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n February 14, 2008, as these books were being edited, a shooting occurred at Northern Illinois University (NIU) in DeKalb, Illinois. A former NIU graduate student, dressed in black and armed with a shotgun and two handguns, opened fire from the stage of a lecture hall. The shooter killed five students and injured 16 others before committing suicide. What could have led someone to do this? Could it have been prevented? When the shooting started, student Dan Parmenter and his girlfriend, Lauren Debrauwere, who was sitting next to him, dropped to the floor between the rows of seats. Dan covered Lauren with his body, held her hand, and began praying. The shield of Dan’s body saved Lauren’s life, but Dan was fatally wounded. In that hall, on February 14, 2008—Valentine’s Day—one person’s deed was horrific and filled with hate; another’s was heroic and loving. The purpose of this series of books is to help prevent the occurrence of this kind of violence by offering readers the character education and social and emotional skills they need to control their emotions and make good moral choices. This series includes books on topics such as coping with bullying, conflicts, peer pressure, prejudice, anger and frustration, and numerous responsibilities, as well as learning how to handle teamwork and respect for others, be fair and honest, and be a good leader and decision-maker. In his 1992 book, Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong,1 William Kilpatrick coined the term “moral illiteracy” and dedicated a whole chapter to it. Today, as he points out, people



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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE often do not recognize when they are in a situation that calls for a moral choice, and they are not able to define what is right and what is wrong in that situation. The California-based Josephson Institute of Ethics agrees with these concerns. The institute states that we have a “character deficit” in our society today and points out that increasing numbers of young people across the United States—from well-to-do as well as disadvantaged backgrounds—demonstrate reckless disregard for fundamental standards of ethical conduct. According to the 2006 Josephson Institute Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth, our children are at risk. This report sets forth the results of a biannual written survey completed in 2006 by more than 36,000 high school students across the country. The compilers of the report found that 82 percent of the students surveyed admitted that they had lied to a parent about something significant within the previous year. Sixty percent admitted to having cheated during a test at school, and 28 percent admitted to having stolen something from a store.2 (Various books in this series will tell of other findings in this report.) Clearly, helping young people to develop character is a need of national importance. The United States Congress agrees. In 1994, in the joint resolution that established National Character Counts Week, Congress declared that “the character of a nation is only as strong as the character of its individual citizens.” The resolution also stated that “people do not automatically develop good character and, therefore, conscientious efforts must be made by youth-influencing institutions . . . to help young people develop the essential traits and characteristics that comprise good character.”3 Many stories can be told of people who have defended our nation with character. One of the editors of this series knew one such young man named Jason Dunham. On April 24, 2004, Corporal Jason L. Dunham was serving with the United States Marines in Iraq. As Corporal Dunham’s squad was conducting a reconnaissance mission, the men heard sounds of rocket-propelled grenades and small arms fire. Corporal

Introduction Dunham led a team of men toward that fire to assist their battalion commander’s ambushed convoy. An insurgent leaped out at Corporal Dunham, and he saw the man release a grenade. Corporal Dunham alerted his team and immediately covered the grenade with his helmet and his body. He lost his own life, but he saved the lives of others on his team. In January 2007, the Dunham family traveled to Washington, D.C., where President George W. Bush presented them with Corporal Dunham’s posthumously awarded Congressional Medal of Honor. In the words of the Medal of Honor citation, “By his undaunted courage, intrepid fighting spirit, and unwavering devotion to duty, Corporal Dunham gallantly gave his life for his country.”4 Thomas Lickona, the author of several books including Educating for Character and Character Matters, explains that the premise of character education is that there are objectively good human qualities—virtues—that are enduring moral truths. Courage, fortitude, integrity, caring, citizenship, and trustworthiness are just a few examples. These moral truths transcend religious, cultural, and social differences and help us to distinguish right from wrong. They are rooted in our human nature. They tell us how we should act with other human beings to promote human dignity and build a well-functioning and civil society—a society in which everyone lives by the golden rule.5 To develop his or her character, a person must understand core virtues, care about them, and act upon them. This series of books aims to help young readers want to become people of character. The books will help young people understand such core ethical values as fairness, honesty, responsibility, respect, tolerance of others, fortitude, self-discipline, teamwork, and leadership. By offering examples of people today and notable figures in history who live and have lived these virtues, these books will inspire young readers to develop these traits in themselves. Finally, through these books, young readers will see that if they act on these moral truths, they will make good choices.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE They will be able to deal with frustration and anger, manage conflict resolution, overcome prejudice, handle peer pressure, and deal with bullying. The result, one hopes, will be middle schools, high schools, and neighborhoods in which young people care about one another and work with their classmates and neighbors to develop team spirit. Character development is a lifelong task but an exciting challenge. The need for it has been with us since the beginning of civilization. As the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle explained in his Nicomachean Ethics: The virtues we get by first exercising them . . . so too we become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts. . . . Hence also it is no easy task to be good . . . to do this to the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive, and in the right way, that is not easy; wherefore goodness is both rare and laudable and noble. . . . It makes no small difference, then, whether we form habits of one kind or of another from our very youth; it makes a very great difference, or rather all the difference.6

This development of one’s character is truly The Ultimate Gift that we hope to give to our young people. In the movie version of Jim Stovall’s book of the same name, a privileged young man receives a most unexpected inheritance from his grandfather. Instead of the sizeable inheritance of cash that he expects, the young man receives 12 tasks—or “gifts”— designed to challenge him on a journey of self-discovery. The gifts confront him with character choices that force him to decide how one can be truly happy. Is it the possession of money that brings us happiness, or is it what we do with the money that we have? Every one of us has been given gifts. Will we keep our gifts to ourselves, or will we share them with others? Being a “person of character” can have multiple meanings. Psychologist Steven Pinker asks an interesting question in a

Introduction January 13, 2008, New York Times Magazine article titled “The Moral Instinct”: “Which of the following people would you say is the most admirable: Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, or Norman Borlaug?” Pinker goes on to explain that although most people would say that, of course, Mother Teresa is the most admirable—a true person of character who ministered to the poor in Calcutta, was awarded the Noble Peace Prize, and was ranked in an American poll as the most admired person in the twentieth century—each of these three is a morally admirable person. Pinker points out that Bill Gates made billions through his company Microsoft, but he also has decided to give away billions of dollars to help alleviate human misery in the United States and around the world. His charitable foundation is built on the principles that “All lives—no matter where they are being lived—have equal value” and “To whom much is given, much is expected.” Pinker notes that very few people have heard of Norman Borlaug, an agronomist who has spent his life developing high-yielding varieties of crops for third world countries. He is known as the “Father of the Green Revolution” because he used agricultural science to reduce world hunger and, by doing so, saved more than a billion lives. Borlaug is one of only five people in history to have won the Nobel Peace Prize, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and the Congressional Gold Medal. He has devoted his long professional life and his scientific expertise to making the world a better place. All of these people—although very different, from different countries, and with different gifts—are people of character. They are, says Pinker, people with “a sixth sense, the moral sense.” It is the sense of trying to do good in whatever situation one finds oneself.7 The authors and editors of the series Character Education hope that these books will help young readers discover their gifts and develop them, guided by a moral compass. “Do good and avoid evil.” “Become all that you can be—a person of character.” The books in this series teach these things and

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Handling Peer pressure more. These books will correlate well with national social studies standards of learning. They will help teachers meet state standards for teaching social and emotional skills, as well as state guidelines for teaching ethics and character education.

Madonna M. Murphy, Ph.D. Author of Character Education in America’s Blue Ribbon Schools and professor of education, University of St. Francis, Joliet, Illinois

Sharon L. Banas, M.Ed. Author of Caring Messages for the School Year and former character education coordinator and middle school social studies teacher, Sweet Home Central School District, Amherst and Tonawanda, New York

Footnotes 1. William Kilpatrick. Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1992. 2. Josephson Institute, 2006 Josephson Institute Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth: Part One – Integrity. Available online at: http://josephsoninstitute.org/pdf/ReportCard_ press-release_2006-1013.pdf. 3. House Joint Resolution 366. May 11, 1994, 103rd Congress. 2d Session. 4. U.S. Army Center of Military History. The Medal of Honor. Available online at: www.history. army.mil/moh.html 5. Thomas Lickona, Educating for Character: Teaching Respect and Responsibility in the Schools. New York: Bantam, 1991. Thomas Lickona, Character Matters: How to Help Our Children Develop Good Judgment, Integrity, and Other Essential Virtues. New York: Simon and Schuster Touchstone Books, 2004. 6. Richard McKeon, editor, “Nicomachean Ethics.” Basic Works of Aristotle, Chicago: Random House, Clarendon Press, 1941. 7. Steven Pinker, “The Moral Instinct,” The New York Times, January 13, 2008. Available online at www.newyorktimes.com.

PEER PRESSURE IN THE REAL WORLD

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“If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.” —Marcus Aurelius (a.d. 121–180), emperor of Rome from a.d. 161–180

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hen asked to draw a mental picture of peer pressure, most people think of some unreal scene from a bad teen movie. They believe that it happens on television and not to them. Yet, peer pressure happens all the time—sometimes in ways that are very clear but also in ways that are easy to miss. The word peer describes a special relationship between two or more people. These people have something in common, whether it is age or a certain interest or skill. For example, a peer could be someone your age in your grade. On the other hand, a person 15 years older than you could also be a peer if, for example, both of you are in the same painting class at a community center. A peer can be someone you know but also someone you do not know, such as a movie actor who is your age.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Peers can pressure each other—and be pressured—in two main ways. The first is direct, or something that happens out in the open. For example, a group of students might dare a peer to do something dangerous in gym class. This is known as direct peer pressure. The second way peer pressure can happen is not so obvious. You may not notice it even when it happens to you. Internal peer pressure is the kind of pressure that goes on inside a person. It is pressure you put on yourself to conform. An example of how people conform is when they wear popular clothing brands and listen to certain kinds of music because that is what other people are doing. A student might conform because he or she does not want to be left out or seem different. Feeling left out can cause a person to start acting like others, even if he or she does not like their behavior. Another kind of internal peer pressure is when a student pretends to get bad grades, when in fact he or she gets mostly As. This student may be afraid people will think he or she is too smart and that this may make him or her seem “weird” to others. For the same reason, this student might say it is luck that enabled him or her to get a good grade, even though the grade was a result of studying hard and loving the subject. All of these examples are ways that people feel pressured to change their personalities and behavior because of what others are doing. They do this for many reasons, all of which will be discussed.

THE GOOD AND THE BAD From this introduction, it may sound like peer pressure is an evil force that only does wrong. In fact, that is not the case. People pressure each other in positive ways, too. It is important to tell the difference between a helpful, friendly suggestion and something unhealthy or mean-spirited. In other words, do not turn down some good advice because you want to resist all peer pressure. Positive peer pressure,

Peer Pressure in the real World

Comparing grades with friends might cause some students to pretend they didn’t study for a test, so that they won’t seem “too smart.” This is an example of internal peer pressure.

or what many experts call peer influence, is when people encourage their peers to do something positive for themselves or others. An example of peer influence is the pressure to be “green”—to do things to help the environment. Researchers in California decided to test the positive peer pressure to be green, and they published their findings in a scientific magazine in May 2007. In their article, they described how they went about their study: First, they slipped letters under people’s doors. The letters told each person how much energy he or she used at home, compared to about how much other

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Handling Peer pressure people used. If someone was doing a good job of saving energy, he or she got a smiley face on the letter. The people who wasted energy did not get a smiley ­face. The researchers found that people who were wasting a lot of energy became embarrassed that they were not being as thoughtful as their neighbors. They started doing things such as turning off lights when they left rooms and taking shorter, cooler showers. By telling them what their peers were doing, the researchers encouraged them to take positive ­actions. Positive peer pressure can help all ­ people—­young and ­ ld—­in several ways. First, friends can set positive examples o for each other, such as encouraging teamwork and strength. Picture this: A school athlete feels lazy and does not want to go to practice. It would be harder for this person to skip practice if he or she knew that the coach and teammates would be upset. Even on a lazy day, that athlete would probably go to practice because of a wish to help out the team. By going to practice, this person is staying committed to the team. This athlete is also staying true to himself or herself by working toward getting better at a fun ­sport. Friends also can give good advice in many areas. Good friends will tell you if you are making a mistake or doing something that is possibly dangerous. Friends can also lead you toward healthy, new life experiences, such as giving you the confidence to try out for a play, getting you excited about a band, or introducing you to sushi or curry when you had never had it ­before. Negative peer pressure is a different story from positive peer pressure. If the situation is dangerous, unhealthy, mean, or just does not feel “right,” it is almost surely negative peer pressure. One way to tell the difference is simply to listen to your body and mind. Do you feel nervous? Is your heart beating faster and your stomach turning flips? Are your arms and legs getting tense? This ­reaction—­feeling hot, sweaty, and a little ­tense—­is called the “fight or flight” response. It is what

Peer Pressure in the Real World humans feel when they sense danger or become fearful of something. The sense of danger and confusion people sometimes feel from peer pressure is because of two fears: the fear of what will happen if they do give in, and the fear of what will happen if they do not. An example: One Saturday afternoon, Austin and some friends go to the beach. Everyone is very excited about

LIFTING THE PRESSURE TO SMOKE dults experience peer pressure just as young people do. For example, some adult smokers smoke more cigarettes because they feel pressured by their friends or by their environment. In 2002, researchers in Victoria, Australia, examined the pressure that some adult smokers feel when they go to bars and nightclubs that allow smoking. The researchers reported that 70 percent of smokers who went to bars at least once per month said that they smoked more at the bars than they did in other places. Fortunately, there is also strong peer pressure on many adults to quit smoking cigarettes. In 1998, a group of researchers in the United States reported that women are about twice as likely as men to say that they feel pressure to quit smoking. Women most often feel this pressure from their own children, researchers said. Men, on the other hand, feel most pressured by their coworkers and friends. The government also puts pressure on adults to quit smoking. All around the world, cities and whole countries are banning cigarette smoking in public places such as bars, restaurants, sports stadiums, and office buildings. In the 2002 Australian study, 25 percent of the people who said they smoked more at bars also said that they would likely quit if there were a public smoking ban. In 2007, they got their wish: The Australian state of Victoria (where the study took place) passed a smoking ban. In the time since the ban started, researchers say that about 30 percent of Victorians between ages 18 and 29 have stopped smoking. That is a positive outcome due to positive peer pressure.

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Handling Peer pressure swimming, and the weather is nice and hot. After a while, one of Austin’s friends suggests that they all have a swimming race to some rocks out in the ocean water. Everyone likes the idea and starts bragging about coming in ­ first— ­everyone, that is, except Austin. He is a good swimmer but not a great one. He is afraid that he is not strong enough to reach the rocks. “I don’t want to do this,” he says to his friends. Instead of letting him do what he wants, his friends tease him for being ­scared. Austin begins to feel sweaty and nervous because his brain is weighing the pros and cons of the situation: Should he be safe and just stick to swimming in the shallow water, or would that cause the others to think he is not brave? Should he try to talk his friends out of swimming to the rocks? What if one of them cannot make it and gets hurt? What if a lifeguard spots them and they get in trouble? Should he just take a deep breath and do what everyone else is doing, even if he is afraid he cannot do it? These thoughts pass through his mind in just a couple of seconds. During that time, Austin’s friends continue to tease him as Austin gets more and more upset and ­embarrassed.

Why People Give in to Peer ­Pressure People in their teenage years often have problems dealing with peer pressure. This is because so much about life is changing all at once: friends, interests, bodies, ideas, and more. Having a strong membership in a group can seem like the only thing that is not ­changing. Wanting to be part of a group and stay in that group is a simple human desire. It has been a fact as long as people have been on Earth. Humans need social groups because that is how they learn and that is how cultures grow. However, it becomes a problem if a person does things against his or her values just to get in a group or stay in a ­group. A person may feel that a group will dump him or her for not doing certain things, such as dressing in expensive,

Peer Pressure in the Real World trendy clothes all the time. If this is the case, this person may go against his or her values or beliefs in order to avoid losing friends. For example, this person may not care much about fashion or may have parents who believe expensive clothes are wasteful. Still, this person may work hard to go along with the group anyway, by begging his or her parents to go shopping at certain stores. Some people build their self-esteem like this, by getting others to like them. It is not a healthy way to live. Fitting into a group can make you feel like you have a good idea of what makes you unique. If a person asks the question “What am I?” and has no answer, it can be scary. By being able to say “I am a dancer” or “I am a basketball player,” a person feels more like he or she has an identity. Having a strong identity is another simple human desire. Being part of a group of friends is a piece of nearly everyone’s identity. Many people would be afraid to give up their group. Feeling alone can be frightening, so it is natural to want to be in a comfortable, supportive group.

FINDING A BALANCE There are some times when it can be good to go along with what a group is doing. Getting caught up in the excitement of a football game is fun. Helping with a cleanup project along a riverbank is doing a positive service for the community. Getting together with others to support a friend during a difficult time is helping someone in need. It also can be positive to follow a television show that everyone watches because that kind of thing can be fun to talk about. There is nothing wrong with sharing interests with people close to you— even if watching that show was something you started because so many other people were talking about it. Still, all people need to find a balance between always following the crowd and thinking for themselves. Certain character traits are important to build in order to find this balance. One of these strengths is integrity. Having integrity

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE means being honest with yourself. It means keeping your word, whether it is something you say to another person or to yourself. If you lie to yourself, you can convince yourself that

PEER PRESSURE UNDER A MICROSCOPE sychologists are very interested in how peer pressure works. They are especially interested in how it works in the teenage brain. This is because the brain grows very quickly during the teen years. Much of what teenagers learn about positive behavior affects how they behave as adults. By understanding peer pressure, researchers may figure out how to help teenagers become stronger as teens and later on in life. The brain has different areas that handle different tasks, including decision-making. In some people, the decision-making part of the brain is strong, but in others, it is not quite as strong. In July 2007, British psychologists published a report about how the brain’s decision-making region affects peer pressure. They hypothesized that different people might give in to peer pressure more often because of how their brains work. In the study, a group of young volunteers answered a list of questions about how they handle peer pressure in their lives. Then each volunteer took a decision-making test while the psychologists took X-ray pictures of his or her brain. The X-rays showed something very interesting: The decision-making parts of the brain were strongest in the volunteers who said that they did not give in to peer pressure. This report suggests a connection between the brain and the ability to resist peer pressure. More research is needed to figure out if this is true. Still, it is an exciting finding. Even if a person’s brain is not very strong in decision-making, this does not mean that he or she is doomed to give in to peer pressure all the time. The brain is growing and creating new strengths all the time, especially in childhood and the teenage years. The brain is like a muscle and can be exercised like one. It is important to practice making healthy decisions, sticking up for yourself, and resisting peer pressure. Soon your brain will become used to doing this, and those actions will become simple habits.

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Peer Pressure in the Real World just about anything is okay to do, no matter how dishonest or hurtful it is. Another important trait is fortitude. This means having the courage to stick something out when the going gets tough. It is an important trait to have when faced with peer pressure because the right decision to make in most peer pressure situations is usually the hard one. It is easy to stay quiet and go along with a group, but that often makes you feel bad in the end. It is more difficult to take a stand and convince others to do the same. Yet, the results from that are much more rewarding. In addition, it is necessary to know why some people push others to do harmful things. It is also important to learn the truth about some of the things people pressure each other to do. This can include understanding what cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs do to the human body and brain, in addition to thinking about different kinds of beauty. Overcoming peer pressure is a skill. Like all skills, it takes practice to make it strong. The lessons you learn while building this ability pack together like a snowball rolling down a hill. In time, you don’t have to think much about what choices to make. You will just do what you know is right.

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2 tHE PoPulArIty

gAME

“don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.” —Albert Camus (1913–1960), French philosopher and writer

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iddle school is a whole new world for many people. The days of small elementary school classrooms are gone for most students. Classes may seem more challenging, and there is more homework. Students now must find their way through the halls of a bigger school. They also meet many new people and some new friends. All of that can turn school into a stressful place. That is why so many students get together in close groups of friends, explains author Rosalind Wiseman in her 2002 book, Queen Bees and Wannabes. Many young people see their group as supportive and helpful in the middle school jungle. Having a close group of friends is important and natural, Wiseman says. Good friends support each other and can make the huge changes of middle school seem less scary. Some groups of friends, however, turn into cliques. A clique is a group of friends so close that they rarely have anything to do with other students. There are cliques of people who are nice and don’t shut others out of the group on pur-

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The Popularity game

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pose. They just keep to themselves. Yet, there are also cliques that can only be described as downright mean, Wiseman says. The members of a mean clique may believe that they are better than everyone else. They may think that others are not pretty or athletic enough to join the group. Unfortunately, mean cliques are common. Wiseman has traveled to many schools to talk to students about cliques. She says that everywhere she has gone, students tell her that they are troubled by how poorly some cliques treat other people. Cliques are the strongest, and often the meanest, in sixth, seventh, and eighth grade, Wiseman says.

Some groups of friends become tight cliques, and some of those cliques can be very cruel to those they do not feel are good enough to join them. Cliques can even be mean to their own members.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE The cliques that are mean are hurtful to their own members, too, experts say. The different people in a clique will each play a different role. It is like playing a part in a play, according to Charlene C. Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese, authors of The Roller- Coaster Years. There is usually one person who is “the boss” in this “play.” Often, the boss makes rules that he or she expects everyone else in the group to follow. For instance, he or she may decide that no one is allowed to talk to a certain person in the class. If a clique member breaks that rule, the boss may get angry and pressure the other clique members not to talk to this person either. This reaction might seem strange. Why would people care about what a mean person would say? Why would they follow this person’s rules? Giannetti and Sagarese explain that the boss can often seem like a very likeable person. He or she may be really good-looking, loud, funny, and very good at persuading other people. Yet, often, say Giannetti and Sagarese, this kind of person really doesn’t feel good about himself or herself. This person needs to feel like he or she is an important leader whom others admire. The need to feel important may cause the clique leader to do hurtful things or boss people around. As the famous poet T.S. Eliot once said, “Half the harm that is done in the world is due to people who want to feel important.” Giannetti and Sagarese describe three other roles in the “play” of a mean clique: the followers, the audience, and the victims. The followers are the other people in a clique who follow the rules that the boss sets. These kinds of people are most at risk of giving in to negative peer pressure, say Giannetti and Sagarese. This is because they want to stay in the clique and are worried that they will lose their places if the clique leader or other members do not like them. The audience members are the people outside of a mean clique. They may be in another clique themselves— either in a nicer clique or another negative clique. It may seem like these people have nothing to do with the mean cliques, but they

The Popularity Game do. Many people in the audience sit and watch as members of a clique are rude to people or spread hurtful rumors about other students. The audience members each may think, “It’s none of my business.” However, sitting and watching hurtful things take place is never a helpful thing to do. It allows the hurtful actions to keep on happening. Finally, the last people in this play are the victims. These are the people whom the clique bullies. Any kind of bullying is painful, whether it is through mean words, physical fights, or purposely ignoring someone who is supposed to be a friend. Mean cliques choose their victims for different reasons. They might pick on someone who looks different—for example, a person of a different race. They might pick on someone who stands out in a physical way, such as an overweight student. Other targets might be students who stand out by getting good grades or someone who is friendly and helpful to teachers. New students in school might be teased, too. Furthermore, bullies will often continue to pick on someone who reacts strongly to the bullying (by crying, for example). These examples are not meant to scare you into staying quiet to avoid being bullied. Think about the people included on that list of a clique’s possible victims. It includes a lot of different kinds of people—perhaps most of the people in a school. This is why it is so important for audience members to do more than just watch. Cliques that are hurtful affect everyone, and the reason that cliques are able to keep bullying is because people do not stand up to them. By not saying anything, the audience and the victims are allowing the problem to continue. A clique cannot bully people if others stand up and say, “Enough.”

BREAKING DOWN THE LINES Sticking only with your close friends can cause you to miss out on being friends with other great people. “While tight friendships are important, it’s also important to have a wide variety of friends,” writes author Amanda Ford in Be True

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE to Yourself. Ford warns against putting too much time and energy into being friends with just one group. “The older you become, the more you’ll find that you need different types of people in your life,” Ford writes. “Be open to people other

STIRRING THE POT chools across the country are picking up on a new idea called Mix It Up at Lunch Day. Lunchtime is often a time when bullies and “popular” students feel powerful, while other students do not, explains the Mix It Up program’s director, Samantha Briggs. Changing around the usual seats in the lunchroom can help break down those cliques, she says. Mix It Up at Lunch Day is simple: It is a day when everyone sits at new lunch tables and talks with new people. Briggs and her partners at the Teaching Tolerance program in Atlanta have put together a plan for students to learn how to do this. First, interested students should get together to form a planning group. Next, they should ask their school principal to put Mix It Up at Lunch Day on the school calendar. Then, the planners should meet with the people in charge of the cafeteria for help in organizing the event. It is also very important to advertise the event so other students know about it. Different schools have their own plans for how to make this day work. Some schools might have students sit at tables according to when their birthdays are. There are many other ideas that can work well. At the 2007 Mix It Up at Lunch Day, students at Serrano Intermediate in Lake Forrest, California, were asked to sit at a lunch table marked with their favorite color. Friends come in all sizes, shapes, and colors and have different religions, interests, and knowledge. This is why it is important for students to take what they learn on Mix It Up at Lunch Day and use it every day. That is how people learn to work together and make everyone’s school day better. “A lot of people just judge everyone,”

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The Popularity Game than your best friends. You may discover that the girl who sits across from you in painting class shares your love of art museums, while your best friends think museums are completely boring.”

Students at Chamblee High School in Atlanta participate in Mix it Up at Lunch Day in 2003. Each year on that day, stu-­ dents sit with peers they would have never normally sat down for lunch with ­before.

Serrano Intermediate student Kelley Small told the Orange County Register. “There’s a lot of stereotypes and we’re trying to break that.” More than 10,000 U.S. schools take part in the national Mix It Up at Lunch Day, Briggs says. That day usually happens in November. For more information on how to start this tradition at your school, visit ­w ww.tolerance.org/teens/lunch.jsp.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Jane Addams discovered how important it was to make friends apart from the family and friends with whom she spent her childhood. Addams was born in 1860 to a rich family. In those days, wealthy people were like members of a clique. They kept to themselves and did not live among poor people. The poor and the wealthy did not spend time learning from each other and doing fun activities. Addams’s father taught Jane that it was good to do volunteer work, but mostly he wanted her to get married, have children, and stick with her wealthy circle. He thought she could spend just a little of her free time doing charity work. However, she wanted to spend her whole life helping people—not just in her free time. Addams believed that if she had her own family, she could not do as much charity work as she wanted to do. Her family disagreed with her decisions, but she followed her dream. Addams and her friend Ellen Gates Starr both wanted to make the world a better place for poor people and new immigrants. In 1889, the two friends opened Hull House in Chicago. Hull House was a community center where new immigrants could find support for their new lives. The center taught English classes and offered kindergarten and day care for the children of mothers who worked. It also helped people find jobs, had a library, and provided music and art classes. Addams was very proud of her work. She inspired other wealthy, educated people to follow in her footsteps. Many similar community centers opened around the country. The idea became a trend across the United States. Addams also wrote many articles about her experiences and argued for women’s rights and world peace. It was uncommon at that time for a wealthy woman to do the kinds of things that she did, but she did not care. She wanted to do the work she loved, even though it meant leaving the clique of the wealthy. Thanks to her fortitude, she forever changed the lives of many grateful people.

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Jane Addams moved beyond her wealthy circle of friends and family to help poor people and new immigrants. As a result, she cofounded the Hull House in Chicago. In this image, she is surrounded by some of the children she served through her work.

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THE ONLINE POPULARITY CONTEST The pressure to be popular also crosses the line between real life and the online world. It can be very easy to get caught up in social Web sites and online journals. Some people spend hours looking at photos and exchanging messages with friends. Some people feel internal peer pressure to collect large numbers of online friends to list on their profiles, explained psychologist James Houran in a 2007 article in the University Daily Kansan. They may see that other people have hundreds of these “friends” on their list, and then feel unpopular if they themselves have only a few. There is also pressure to be friends with certain people and to have the best page, packed with photos, quizzes, and games. Most social Web sites do not allow members under 13 or 14 years old without parents’ permission—and often, the sites don’t allow young members, period. This rule is there for a reason. There is not very much privacy on these Web sites. If you have your page open for the whole world to see, strangers can follow everything you do in life. They can see your photos, know where you go to school, and find out who your friends are. If you post contact information, such as your e-mail address, they can see that too. Furthermore, people can find things out about you, even if you fix your privacy settings so only your friends can see your page. Many social Web sites allow companies and advertisers to see the information that you post about yourself, according to researchers at the University of Virginia Department of Computer Science. In addition, the people who work for the companies that run social Web sites are able to view any member’s profile whenever they want. They do not need to be your friend to do it. There is another kind of danger that comes with building a big profile on these sites. People may become worried about how they compare to other people, worrying how they compare in photos or in the number of friends they have. Knowing everyone’s business makes some people feel like

The Popularity Game they must act a certain way in order to measure up to others. “Knowing too much about people is never a good thing,” Houran says. “It tends to increase peer pressure, and you tend to be a follower, not a leader.” From the “real” world to the online world, there is a lot of pressure to act a certain way or to be a certain kind of person. There is pressure to be a follower instead of leader, or someone who thinks for oneself. Some people believe that following the crowd will make them popular and, therefore, happier. In truth, it is best to follow the advice of German philosopher

WHEN COMMUNICATION FALLS APART sychologist James Houran warns that spending hours and hours online can hurt a person’s real-life relationships. For example, too much time online can influence how people treat their friends when they get into an argument, he says. The right thing to do when you disagree with a friend is to talk to that person face to face about what is bothering you. A person who spends all afternoon and evening online may react differently in an argument. That person may decide to handle the situation by removing a disagreeing friend from his or her list of contacts. This will probably cause hurt feelings and make the problem worse. It could even end the real-life friendship for good, before the two friends are able to talk things out. Communicating online also causes problems simply because it is different from communicating in real life, psychology professor Greg Hall told the University Daily Kansan. A person communicating online cannot use body language, tone of voice, or other means of expression to make his or her message clear. For example, jokes and friendly teasing online may be misunderstood as rudeness. The subject of the joke could become upset, even if the words were not meant to be hurtful. Communicating only with written words can lead to misunderstandings.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Immanuel Kant: “Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of a few; and number not voices, but weigh them.” In other words, the number of friends a person has is not important. What is important is how good a person’s friends are.

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“It takes a lot of courage to show your dream to someone else.” —Erma Bombeck (1927–1996), American newspaper writer

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onforming can be both a positive and a negative thing to do. On the positive side, people who do not break the law are conforming. That may mean driving the speed limit and not taking things from stores without paying. There are other ways to conform that are not written down as laws. For example, most people do not just cut in front of another person in a line. There is no law that says they cannot cut, but they still don’t do it. They know that cutting in front of people in line is not polite. You may be conforming when you wait your turn in line, but you are conforming in order to benefit your community. There is another way that people conform, and it is not so positive. When faced with the pressure to be popular, some people choose to conform by doing whatever they see other people do. They may buy the same clothes as people whom they admire. They may act like people who they think are popular or funny. For example, if a student is rude to a teacher and other students laugh at the rudeness, this reaction can

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE cause more people to act in the same way. Other students may think that, by copying the rude student, they will be admired for being funny. Researchers as far back as the 1950s have reported that people with low self-esteem and poor confidence are more likely to conform. Other studies have also found that the bigger the group, the stronger the pressure is to conform. Many middle schools have hundreds of students. If a lot of people are looking and acting the same way, the peer pressure to follow them can be hard to beat. “In elementary school, it was okay to be a little weird,” 12-year-old David told Scholastic Parents magazine. “In middle school, if you want to be cool, you can’t act weird. There’s pressure to look like and be like everybody else.”

SPOTTING A TREND A fad is a trend (something popular) that lasts for a very short time. It may only last a year, or even just a few months. Fads die quickly, but they are extremely popular during their short lives. Think back to a couple of years ago, and try to remember something that everyone owned, watched, or listened to. Chances are, not everything you think about is still popular now. It is not easy to ignore fads, especially today. The world is bombarded with messages from television, popular music, movies, and the fashion world about what will make a person popular. The people sending these messages are trying to sell something. According to media expert Jean Kilbourne, ads do more than just sell products. They sell values and ideas about what is “popular” or “normal,” explained Kilbourne in the journal Media & Values. “They tell us who we are and who we should be.” When many other people around you believe in these messages, it is difficult not to go along with them. This is a form of internal peer pressure. Your peers may not tell you out loud that you must dress a certain way or listen to certain music

The Pressure to Fit in

Because many teens have cell phones, teens who don’t have a cell phone may feel pressure to get one—even if they don’t need it.

in order to be popular. Yet, if you watch everyone you know doing something, you may feel that what they do is what you should do, too. A person who always conforms to everything might never figure out what he or she really likes. This kind of person allows his or her identity to be built by other people. It is important to have your own identity that you form yourself. Everyone is different, so what is good for one person may not be good for you.

trAilBlAZers Many people throughout history have gone against what others have said or done. They have decided for themselves what they wanted to do. These people have worked in

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE everything from writing to fashion to music. Because they were brave enough to go first, other people were able to follow in their steps and have their own voices.

Elizabeth Smith Miller: Changing Women’s Dress Elizabeth Smith Miller invented a new style of clothing for comfort, and it ended up forever changing the way women dressed. While working in her garden in 1851, she became annoyed with her long skirt and how difficult it made the task of gardening. In those days, women only wore long, hot, heavy dresses. Pants were just for men. Still, Miller was tired of wearing dresses all the time, so she invented a pair of loose pants to wear under a knee-length skirt. She wore it to her cousin Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s house. Stanton liked the style and copied it for herself. Stanton also showed the design to her friend Amelia Jenks Bloomer. Bloomer published an article and pictures of Miller’s outfit in a magazine. Soon, the pants craze spread among other women. At this time, women were hard at work fighting for more rights. In the mid- and late 1800s, women could not vote in the United States, and they did not have many other rights, either. Women’s rights workers began wearing Miller’s pants outfit often. People made fun of them, which caused them to stop after a while, but Miller kept on wearing her creation.

(opposite) This illustration from 1851 shows a woman wearing “Bloomers,” a pair of baggy trousers with cuffs at the ankles. They were invented by Elizabeth Smith Miller as a more practical style of clothing for women of the time, who typically wore dresses or skirts. The trousers were named after the women’s rights advocate Amelia Jenks Bloomer, who helped popularize the pants just by wearing them each day.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE She also continued her other work for women’s rights, which included letter writing, fund-raising, and campaigning.

Igor Stravinsky: Causing Riots at Concert Halls “Classical music is boring.” How often have you heard someone say that? Have you said it, too? In fact, “classical music” is not just one kind of sound. It includes many different styles of music, and musicians are always producing new ideas. Many of these ideas are not popular at first because they sound very different from what people already know and like. However, there are many musicians throughout history who did what they wanted to do, even if it was not popular. Igor Stravinsky was a Russian-born music composer. Stravinsky upset a lot of people with his work. One of his symphonies, The Rite of Spring, caused some serious trouble. He fi rst wrote The Rite of Spring as a ballet. The beginning of the ballet is a little violent, and the music is frightening. It was not what the audience expected to see and hear when they went to the theater. When the ballet was fi rst performed in Paris in 1913, some audience members began to boo and yell from the very beginning. Other audience members tried to quiet things down, but soon arguments, fi stfights, and a full- on riot began inside the theater. The show went on, but the rioting continued throughout the entire performance. For years, Stravinsky heard from many people that his work was no good. They said his music lacked rhythm and beauty. These people did not stop him. Because he followed his own path, he made positive changes in the world of music. Stravinsky became one of the biggest influences in all of music history. His work gave ideas not only to other classical musicians but also to rock bands and other artists.

The Pressure to Fit in

Composer Igor Stravinsky upset many people with his unusual ballet The Rite of Spring, but continued to stay true to himself and create unique music. In doing so, he became a major influential figure in music.

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nellie Bly: Writing her Way Around the World Journalist Nellie Bly’s newspaper career began in 1880, when a reporter for her local paper wrote an article that spoke unkindly about women. Bly was angered, so she wrote a letter to him. The male reporter was surprised by the letter, and yet impressed—so much so that he offered her a job. She accepted the job but soon found that the male reporters were trying to make her write only about “girl” subjects, such

This newspaper article reports on the adventures of journalist Nellie Bly, who traveled around the world in 72 days despite being told that, as a woman, she would never make it.

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GUY THINGS AND GIRL THINGS ale ballet dancers. Female firefighters. To some people, these descriptions may seem odd. There are identities that some people believe are “male” roles or “female” roles. The reasons for this are complicated. One reason is that there are stereotypes for what it means to be male and female. For example, people may think of stereotypes such as tutus, pink leotards, and graceful, princess- like ballerinas when they think of dance. Those three thoughts are female stereotypes, so some people may laugh if they think (Clockwise from top left) Melissa Cleary, April Lallo, Capt. Joi Evans, of a boy or man wanting to be and Robin Benincasa are members a ballet dancer. In fact, balof Fire Engine Co. 22 of San Diego, let is a very difficult activity the country’s first all-female, fullthat requires a lot of strength time firefighting crew. Female fireand athletic talent. Both male fighters must be strong enough to and female ballet dancers are perform the same tasks as men. strong people. When people think of firefighters, they may think of strong, muscular heroes saving people from burning buildings. “Strong” and “muscular” are male stereotypes, so some people think it is odd for

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(continues)

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(continued)

a female to want to fight fires. Most firefighters in the United States are male—about 97 percent. Although there are not many women firefighters, they still do the same kind of demanding work that male firefighters do. The city of San Diego, California, even has a firefighting crew that is made up of only women. Stereotypes about males and females are a reality. Yet that does not mean they are true.

as fashion. Because she was not interested in writing about those topics, she left the paper and began her life as a world traveler and international reporter. Bly is perhaps most famous for her biggest travel expedition. While working for the newspaper the New York World, Bly came up with an exciting story idea: She would take a trip around the world. Bly was inspired by the book Around the World in Eighty Days, which was a popular novel by Jules Verne. Her goal was to beat the time of 80 days. In her memoir, she remembered the first meeting with her bosses: “It is impossible for you to do it,” was the terrible verdict. “In the first place you are a woman and would need a protector, and even if it were possible for you to travel alone you would need to carry so much baggage that it would detain you in making rapid changes. Besides, you speak nothing but English, so there is no use talking about it; no one but a man can do this.” “Very well,” I said angrily, “Start the man, and I’ll start the same day for some other newspaper and beat him.” “I believe you would,” he said slowly.

Bly’s boss knew she was right, so he fi nally agreed. On November 14, 1889, Bly started her 24,899-mile trip. She

The Pressure to Fit In went on the trip without a male travel partner, which was extremely uncommon at that time. Because of this, many solo women travelers who came after her found her a great inspiration. Bly fi nished her trip seven days early, and for a while, she held the record for traveling around the world the fastest. After she returned, she wrote her own bestselling book about the voyage: Around the World in SeventyTwo Days.

THE PRESSURE TO REBEL Instead of being a trailblazer, some people feel pressure to be rebellious. This may be because their friends act that way. It may just be because they think that they must be “different” in order to be special. This kind of person may seem very independent on the outside—for example, he or she may choose to dress in really wild clothing. That is one of the ways that some people choose to express their identity. Expressing one’s identity is healthy, and it can be fun to experiment with different, safe ways to do that. If a person is only doing something because no one else is doing it, however, this person is still letting peers influence his or her identity. In this case, peer pressure is causing this student to run away from the crowd. The peer pressure to not follow the crowd, or not care about fads, can also happen within a clique. In some cliques, there is direct or internal peer pressure to “not do what the popular kids do.” If there is a band that everyone in school likes, this clique will say loud and clear that they do not like the band. Some people who do this are simply being honest. Others, however, are trying to go against the crowd “just because.” They have no reason. When people follow this mind-set, they are still choosing likes and dislikes that are based on what is popular. They are not being open-minded to things—both popular and unpopular. For this reason, students who always turn away from what is popular “just because” may miss some interesting experiences.

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Dancing to a Different ­Drummer

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ccording to Columbia University researchers, a person’s favorite song on the radio might be the result of a little bit of peer ­pressure. The researchers set out to study how peer pressure affects music tastes. They first created a music Web site and invited 14,000 people (mostly teenagers) to join. They offered free song downloads to site members. All of the songs were by bands that were not already well known. Then, the researchers divided the Web site users into two groups: The first group was asked to pick songs to listen to, and then asked to give the songs a rating of one to five stars. Afterward, they were allowed to download the songs if they wanted to do ­so. The second group was also asked to pick songs to listen to and then rate. However, in addition to seeing the songs’ title and accompanying band name, this group was also told how many times other users had already downloaded the songs. In other words, members of the second group knew how popular each song ­was. The researchers announced their findings in a 2006 issue of Scientific American. They found that certain songs were pretty popular within both groups. This finding was most likely because the song truly was good, researchers said. Yet, in the second group, the popular songs had higher ratings and more downloads than they did in the first group. The researchers believed that this result was because when Web site users saw that a song had been downloaded many times, they would be more likely to download that song, ­too.

Being your own person does not mean giving up your place in a group. Being your own person means examining and judging ­ something—­a fad, some music, clothing, or an ­activity—­and then deciding what’s best for yourself. As you go through this process, remember to stay respectful of other people’s choices. If you respect them, they are more likely to respect ­you.

conForMIng to A looK

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“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” —Confucius (551 B .C .–479 B .C .), Chinese philosopher

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here are many people who do not like what they see when they look in the mirror. The 2007–2008 Dove Campaign for Real Beauty says that 92 percent of girls want to change something about their appearance. Another study, published in 2001, reports that nearly one-third of teenage boys are trying to gain weight in order to be more muscular, do better at sports, and improve their body image. In an article in the journal Media & Values, writer Jean Kilbourne argues that television, movies, magazines, advertisements, and other media are largely to blame for these body image issues. Often, it is difficult to tell the difference between an ad with a model selling clothing or beauty products and an image of a model in a magazine article, Kilbourne says. Both models may look identical. When more kinds of media start showing the same image of “beauty,” more people begin to believe the message, she says. This acceptance occurs because they see an image over and over, until it seems real.

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A “National Peer Pressure” Young people are the biggest targets for advertisers, Kilbourne says. Advertisers are the people whose job it is to sell a product. Many young people find it difficult to say no to strong peer pressure, Kilbourne writes in her article ­“Beauty . . . and the Beast of Advertising.” Furthermore, she adds, advertising is a kind of “national peer pressure.” Media images are flashy and full of exciting scenes of people who seem to have perfect lives. This media message might sound like: “Look the same as this person or else you will not be attractive or popular or successful.” Americans—­especially young ­ Americans—­see these images again and again. People between 2 and 18 years of age take in about 5.5 hours of media every day, according to a 1999 report by the Kaiser Family Foundation. This exposure includes watching television after school, playing video games, looking around on the Internet, and other kinds of media. Often, the report said, young people will take in two kinds of media at once. For example, they may look at Web sites on their computers while having the television turned on in the ­background. As a result of so much media-viewing, the average American sees or hears 2,000 advertisements every day, Kilbourne says. A person may not really look at every one of those ads, but he or she at least passes by them. Over time, a person will gather bits of messages about what makes a person attractive. These can build up in his or her head, until the media’s “beauty rules” seem to be set in ­stone. Once a person believes that there are beauty rules, he or she may want to buy advertisers’ products. This person may think he or she is not attractive enough and needs beauty products to achieve a look. Beauty products include makeup, but they also include things for men such as hair gels or men’s perfumes. Companies that sell beauty products earn $29 billion per year, according to author Mary Lisa Gavenas.

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IN THE NAME OF FASHION eople in the 1800s might have laughed if they could see today’s media images of beauty. During much of the 1800s, round, healthy-looking, and fat bodies were thought to be attractive. Fat showed that a person was wealthy enough to afford plenty of food to eat. Yet, this extra weight did not mean that people were not concerned about how they looked. Men showed off their bellies by wearing tight-fitting vests with their suits. In the mid- to late 1800s, women wore bustles. These were wooden or whalebone frames worn under a skirt to make a woman appear larger. By the 1890s, it became more attractive for women to have tiny waists, large hips, and a wealthy, high- class look. This style was known as the Gibson Girl look. In order to achieve a tiny, Gibson Girl waist, women wore tight, uncomfortable undergarments called corsets. These undergarments squeezed their bodies so tightly

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Danish-born actress Camille Clifford, seen here around 1905, was a “Gibson Girl”—the name given to women with tiny wastes and large hips, accentuated by corsets. This was the standard of beauty around the turn of the century after artist Charles Dana Gibson created the look of the “Gibson Girl.” (continues)

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(continued)

that women often fainted from the pressure, and sometimes even broke their ­ribs. In the 1920s, corsets were no longer fashionable, but thinness was. Thinness, however, became unfashionable during the 1930s. At that time, poverty swept across the country. This period in U.S. history was known as the Great Depression. Many people lost their jobs, and hunger was widespread. During this time, strength and health were considered beautiful physical characteristics for ­women.

In order to make more and more money, these companies must keep convincing shoppers that they need more of the latest beauty products in order to look ­good. Beauty product advertisers often target girls, in particular, because female shoppers buy many more beauty products than male shoppers do. Advertisers are trying to reach very young consumers, too. Some companies now try to get girls as young as six years old to want beauty products, according to a February 2008 article in the New York ­Times. Remember that most media images do not show how people look in real life. Paying too much attention to images of beauty in the media can damage a person’s ­ self-­esteem. Research has shown that, in general, the more a person looks at fashion or celebrity magazines, the worse his or her body image and ­self-­esteem are. It is important to know that these images are more unreal than some people might ­think. Many people look to magazines to get their ideas of what is attractive. There are many magazines for young people on newsstands that are packed with fashion, quizzes, gossip about young actors and musicians, and other pieces of trendy news. These magazines often have photos that go through a process known as airbrushing or Photoshopping. This means that magazine editors take a photo of a person and erase any-

Conforming to a Look thing that they think is not attractive. “Practically every photo you see in a magazine will have been digitally [changed] in this way,” magazine editor Dylan Jones told BBC ­news. Photoshopping can include everything from erasing skin blemishes and scratches to wiping out wrinkles on an older adult. Magazines can even change a person’s eye or hair color and make him or her look much thinner or differently shaped. The next time a friend says to you that he or she wants to look like a magazine model or actor, tell your friend the truth: Magazine photos don’t just show celebrities who look out of the ordinary. They take that celebrity and turn him or her into a computer ­fantasy.

Body ­Language The media’s images of beauty are not just about shiny hair and smooth skin. They also show the same body size and shape over and over: very thin women and muscular men. These images are not realistic. Only a small percentage of people in the world naturally have those kinds of ­bodies. Bodies come in countless shapes and sizes, nutrition expert Ellyn Satter explains. Some bodies are naturally bigger than others. A person with a larger body may wish that he or she had a very thin body. Yet, for some people, that is the same as wishing to be taller, Satter says. In other words: It is not possible to make yourself grow tall if you are short, just like it is not possible to be thinner than your body can ­be. Young people hear a lot of peer pressure telling them that gaining weight is bad. They hear from many sources that being very thin is extremely important. They may get this message from the media, from their own family members, or from their peers. Many young people therefore believe that gaining any weight is not a good thing. In fact, steady weight gain during childhood and the teen years just means that a young person is growing up. It is normal, but it can cause a person to fear that his or her body is not normal or ­healthy.

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WHEN FAT BECOMES FEAR ometimes, the stress of growing up can combine with the stress of puberty and poor body image, resulting in a dangerous mix: an eating disorder. An eating disorder is what a person has when he or she uses food in extremely harmful ways to try to feel better about problems or identity issues. There are three main disorders that people most often talk about when discussing eating disorders: anorexia nervosa, binge-eating disorder, and bulimia nervosa. With anorexia, the sufferer is very strict about what kinds of food he or she will eat, and will eat very little. People with binge-eating disorder eat large amounts of food in a very short amount of time and will often feel upset or out of control while eating. With bulimia, a person eats large amounts of food, or sometimes just regular meals, but will try to “get rid” of the food by using dangerous methods, such as throwing up. In all three of these disorders, the sufferer is using food as a way to forget about other feelings he or she has. There is a fourth disorder called ED-NOS, which stands for “eating disorder not otherwise specified.” There are very strict guidelines that doctors follow when trying to decide whether or not a patient has an eating disorder. Sometimes a person may use food in a dangerous way, but his or her actions do not match up with the traits of one eating disorder. If that is the case, a doctor may decide that this person has ED-NOS. All four of these disorders are extremely dangerous and deadly. The Renfrew Center Foundation for Eating Disorders reports that about 24

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For most girls, puberty starts between the ages of 9 and 14. For boys, it usually starts between ages 10 and 17. In general, people grow most quickly between the ages of 10 and 15. During middle school and early high school, the average young person grows a foot (30 cm) taller and gains 20 to 30 pounds (9 to 14 kg), say authors Charlene C. Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese. That may seem like a lot, but it is completely normal. The changes happen because that person’s

Conforming to a Look

million people in the United States have some kind of eating disorder, and that only 10 percent of these people receive help from a doctor or counselor. Experts at Renfrew also say that there are many more people who never admit that they have a problem, so these numbers may be higher. According to ANRED, an association for eating disorder information, 20 percent of the people who do not receive help will die from their disorder. Peers play a part in whether or not a young person develops an eating disorder. This is especially true among girls. “Research reveals that best friends and mothers have the biggest influence on whether or not a girl will use risky behaviors to lose weight,” says Eboni Baugh, an assistant professor in the Family Life Department at the University of Florida. This information means that if a girl’s friends are all trying to lose weight, she will likely feel that she should do the same. Unfortunately, there is little research about how eating disorders affect young men. Most eating-disorder sufferers are girls—about 90 percent, according to most experts. However, it does not matter whether a sufferer is male or female. Anyone who suspects that he or she has an eating disorder should seek help immediately. If you think you have a problem, or if you suspect that someone you love has a problem, talk to a trusted adult. The Web site www.something-fishy.org also has valuable information that can help save lives.

body is growing from a child’s body into an adult’s body. In fact, Giannetti and Sagarese say failing to gain weight during puberty is not normal. It may even be a sign of a medical problem. Because of pressure from the media and society, however, many young people fear this natural weight gain. Their body image may suffer. This is what leads many young people— especially girls—to go on a diet. Strict dieting is an

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE unhealthy thing for a young person to do while going through puberty, according to the Nemours Foundation, one of the largest health care organizations for youth in the United States. “During this time, kids need a variety of healthy foods to keep their bodies growing properly,” the foundation’s Web site advises. As they note, a young person may seriously hurt his or her health by choosing to go on a strict diet. The pressure to have a certain body shape does not just happen to girls. Some boys are worried that they are too skinny and that they will never look like famous, muscled athletes. Other boys are worried that they are fat and therefore not attractive. Poor body image and embarrassment can cause boys to avoid fun activities such as swimming in a pool or playing at the beach. In a 2007 New York Times article about male body image, one young man remembered, “I took my shirt off once, and a couple of kids laughed at me, and I never took my shirt off again.” There are many teenage and adult men who do not look like the media’s stereotype of what a “man” looks like. Even some male athletes do not resemble the stereotype of “athlete.” Muggsy Bogues, for example, is a famous former professional basketball player. He played for the Charlotte Hornets, among several other teams during his career. Bogues played in the point guard position and was talented at passing and stealing the ball. He could also run faster on the court than many of his opponents. Bogues played for the Hornets for 10 years and was among the most popular players in the history of the team. Bogues is also special because he is only 5 feet, 3 inches (1.6 m) tall. In 2001—Bogues’s last year as a player—the average height for professional basketball players was about 6 feet, 7 inches (2 m) tall, according to a National Basketball Association (NBA) survey. Bogues is the shortest player ever to play on an NBA team. “I think what he brings to the game is an idea that you can accomplish anything, regardless of your size or height, in anything that you choose to do,” said

Conforming to a look

At 5’3”, former NBA basketball player Tyrone Curtis “Muggsy” Bogues is the shortest NBA player ever. Still, the point guard was one of the most popular players for the Charlotte Hornets, well known for his passing and stealing talents as well as for running faster than many of his opponents. Above, Bogues blocks the San Antonio Spurs’s Malik Rose in Toronto, Canada.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Phoenix Suns basketball star Kevin Johnson in a television interview. “And that’s what’s most important.”

THE MANY KINDS OF BEAUTY The media shows the same images of beauty over and over. Those images are not realistic or common among regular people. They are also not what everyone in the world thinks is attractive. There are many opinions of what is beautiful— as many opinions as there are people. Because most people can do little to naturally change the way they look, it is best to learn to love what you see, writes author Amanda Ford in her book, Be True to Yourself. “You’ll never look like someone else,” Ford points out. “The face and body you see in the mirror every day are the ones you’ll have for the rest of your life, so you might as well start appreciating your looks right now.” Besides that, appearance and body size are only small parts of what makes a person who he or she is—and they are certainly not the most important parts. Instead of admiring people for the way they look, look up to people for what they do.

FANNING THE FLAMES OF ANGER

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“Peace cannot be achieved through violence. It can only be attained through understanding.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882), American writer

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annah was in seventh grade, and Emma was in eighth grade. Both girls went to the same school, but they were not friends. In fact, they did not like each other. They had not liked each other for a long time, and it seemed to many people that no one really remembered who or what started this conflict. Over time, Emma’s friends urged her to start a fight with Hannah, and Hannah’s friends said the same thing to her about Emma. The idea stuck in both girls’ heads, until one day a small remark caused this conflict to blow up into a fight after school. The girls and their friends decided on a time and a place for the fight to take place. In school the next day, both girls had bruises and scratches. Hannah even had a bit of a black eye. No one liked either girl any better than they did before the fight. Neither girl was more popular, and neither girl had “won.” The names in this story

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE have been changed, but the story itself is true. There is often very strong pressure to solve problems with violence. These girls chose to fight, but that fight did not solve anything.

WHAT CAUSES GOOD PEOPLE TO ACT BADLY? All people feel angry, hurt, upset, or frustrated sometimes. The difference, however, is how they react when they feel like this. There are some people who react in ways that help solve the problem, there are people who ignore it, and there are other people who react in ways that are not healthy. This is true for both teenagers and adults. They may use strong problem-solving skills to solve a conflict; they may choose to walk away in every bad situation; or, they may use curses, shout, speak in cruel ways about another person, or even use physical violence. Young people may become violent because they are hurt or angry and feel like they cannot express those emotions in words, explains psychologist Althea Solter in her 1998 book, Tears and Tantrums. Solter might argue that this was the case with Hannah and Emma. Perhaps both girls felt like they could not talk with each other about why they were angry. Because of that, they decided to try to solve their problems with violence. Solter adds that society sometimes sends the message that violence and bullying are tough. Fight scenes in movies and television might make violence look like an okay response when a person is upset. Many activities that people do, such as playing video games, make fighting seem entertaining. In addition, there are other parts of U.S. culture that inspire people to be mean. Take a look at the newsstands in a grocery store checkout line. Many magazines feature famous people on the cover, along with rude comments about how that person looks, dresses, or acts. Controversial headlines may seem like a joke. Yet, in fact, those headlines are making fun of someone and are often very cruel.

Fanning the Flames of Anger

OUT-OF-CONTROL ANGER The peer pressure to solve problems with fighting can be very strong. This is especially true when people are in a crowd and an argument begins. With many people watching, the people arguing may feel pressure to fight. History is full of these events. One such example occurred during the American Civil War (1861–1865) when there were violent riots in New York City. People were angry because the federal government started a draft—it required men to join the army and fight in the war. Citizens could pay a fee of $300 to get out of the draft. It was hard for poor people to get that much money, but it was easy for the wealthy. The rioters were poor, and many of them were new immigrants. They were angry about the draft and even angrier that wealthy people could easily get out of joining the army. Arguably, the people rioting had a lot to be angry about, but they let their anger turn into violence. In this case, the violence was especially hurtful because it was used against innocent African Americans who had nothing to do with the war problems. A complicated story explains why the rioting crowd turned against these innocent people: The Civil War started because 11 states in the South seceded, or withdrew, from the United States and announced that they were now their own country. They called themselves the Confederate States of America. The United States went to war with these states to bring the two sides back together. Abraham Lincoln was the president at this time. A few months before the New York City riots, Lincoln had issued two orders: that the slaves in rebel states be freed and that slavery not be allowed to spread to new states. Because of this talk about freeing slaves, some Americans believed that the Civil War was only being fought for that reason. As a result, many people wrongly blamed African Americans for the war.

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Handling Peer Pressure This belief certainly added to the violent feelings during the New York City riots. All it took was a few racist people in the protest crowds, and soon many people began to follow them and hurt African Americans. To this day, no one knows the exact number of African Americans who were killed. The government continued to use the draft to get people to join the army, and some people still got out of serving by paying a fee. There are many stories like this throughout world history. Violence rarely solves problems. On the other hand, there

An unknown number of innocent African Americans were harmed during the New York City Draft Riots in 1863, when people let their anger about the Civil War draft turn into violence and blamed African Americans as the reason for the war. The picture here depicts a lynching of a black man on Clarkson Street during the riots.

Fanning the Flames of anger

Abraham Lincoln is shown here reading the Emancipation Proclamation, which called for the freeing of slaves in rebel states—an unpopular suggestion among a large number of citizens.

have been many world leaders and regular citizens who chose to be nonviolent. Often, these nonviolent actions were what led to change. Martin Luther King Jr. is famous around the world for using nonviolent protests to help change life for African Americans. King’s actions and words were strongly inspired by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, an important Indian leader who was best known around the world as Mahatma Gandhi (Mahatma means “great soul” in the Sanskrit language). Gandhi lived from 1869 to 1948 and was a great inspiration to King and other peaceful leaders. In 1959, King visited Gandhi’s family in India. He returned home with great hope for change in the United States.

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Mahatma Gandhi encouraged nonviolent protest, or civil disobedience, among his fellow Indians in their struggle for independence against the British. Above, Gandhi stops during peace meetings with British officials to address followers in 1931.

For many years, India was a colony of Great Britain, just like the United States was before the American Revolutionary War. The Indian struggle for independence lasted from the early 1900s until 1945. In 1919, the entire country was deeply saddened and angered when British troops fired their guns at a group of men, women, and children. Some historians report that nearly 400 innocent Indians were killed. Other historians say that more than 1,000 were killed. After this event, some Indians used violence to express their anger toward the British. Gandhi was also angry, but he spoke out strongly against Indians who reacted to the tragedy with violence.

Fanning the Flames of Anger All violence is evil, Gandhi said, no matter who is “right” and who is “wrong.” Gandhi urged Indians to protest peacefully. He asked them to boycott British goods and not to work at jobs in British companies. These actions were part of a plan that he called civil disobedience. The plan asked people to stand up against injustice, but only in nonviolent ways. It became a great success across the country, and it gave all Indians a chance to do their part in the independence movement. There were more periods of violence during the Indian independence movement. Gandhi was even put in jail. Yet, he had the fortitude to stick to his message of nonviolence, and

WRITING FOR PEACE artin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi were both inspired by American writer Henry David Thoreau. Gandhi himself said that he named his actions “civil disobedience” after an essay that Thoreau wrote. In Civil Disobedience, published in 1849, Thoreau argued that people should always stand up to injustice. He also urged people to think for themselves and not to do things that they believe are wrong. In July 1846, Thoreau was arrested for not paying his taxes. He had refused to pay his taxes because he disagreed with the war between the United States and Mexico at that time. He also was strongly against slavery. He felt that it was wrong to give his money to aid the MexicanAmerican War and slavery. Thoreau only spent one night in jail, though, because his aunt paid his taxes for him (even though he told her not to). When he got out of jail, he was angry about the situation and began writing about it. He wrote to explain why he believed he was right to refuse to pay taxes. These writings turned into Civil Disobedience. Civil Disobedience inspired many other people, too. One of these people was the famous writer Ralph Waldo Emerson, whose quote is at the beginning of this chapter. Thoreau’s writing also touched President John F. Kennedy and E.B. White, the author of Charlotte’s Web.

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Handling Peer pressure in the end, India gained its independence. This is why Gandhi has been an inspiration to so many other peaceful leaders throughout ­history.

Violent ­Words Not all fighting involves fists. Bullying also includes teasing, gossiping, and spreading rumors. This kind of fighting hurts people’s feelings just as much as physical fighting hurts ­people. Sometimes, people gossip just because they are nosy. But other times, people gossip and spread rumors in order to hurt someone else’s reputation. A reputation is like a story or outline about a person that other people have in their minds. The story may read something like: nice, smart, does well in school, good soccer player. It could also be a negative story, such as: mean to younger students, fights with friends, seen cheating on tests. “Gossip and reputations can’t exist without each other,” Rosalind Wiseman wrote in her book, Queen Bees and Wannabes. “Reputations are a product of constant gossiping.” Wiseman adds that both good and bad reputations create stereotypes about ­people. Verbal bullying also happens online. As previously discussed, social Web sites and online journals commonly allow people to share personal information. This is information that many other people can see. A bully may use this information to spread gossip about a person. “The more info you have about people, the more it can promote behaviors like ­rumor­spreading that kill groups and communities,” psychologist James Houran told the University Daily ­Kansan.

The Bystander ­Effect A bystander is someone who witnesses an event but is not part of what is ­ happening—­like an audience member. The bystander effect is a term psychologists use to describe what happens when many people witness a harmful event at the same time. Psychologists John Darley and Bibb Latane are

Fanning the Flames of Anger well known for researching the bystander effect. They showed that if a person is alone and witnesses another person being hurt, he or she will quickly step in to help. However, if that person is part of a large group and another person is being hurt nearby, it takes longer for anyone to offer ­help. Psychologists believe that the bystander effect may happen because no one wants to go first, or people may just think that someone else will help. For these reasons, it can sometimes take a long time for a person to receive help if there are many people around. It is important not to stand by as a silent audience member when any kind of violence happens. This includes both violent actions and violent ­words. As previously discussed, some cliques have a part in this bad behavior. To review: The roles in the bad clique are the boss, the followers, the victims, and the audience. The boss controls a bad clique, and the followers do what the boss says. The victims are the people who are bullied, and the audience is made up of the students who are outside of the clique but who are not victims of bullying. If the students in the audience do nothing to stop the bullying, they are part of the bystander effect. If they remain bystanders, the bullying will ­continue. Not all people in the audience become part of the bystander effect. During World War II, the Nazis of Germany murdered millions of Jewish people, Gypsies, people with disabilities, homosexuals, Russians, Eastern Europeans, and many other innocent groups of people. Often, the Nazis put people on trains and sent them to prison camps. There are many stories about Europeans standing by and watching the prison trains go through the countryside. Many people did nothing. Some stayed quiet because they were afraid of getting in ­trouble. Other people took risks to save people whom the Nazis wanted to kill. One of these brave people was Raoul Wallenberg, a Swedish man from a large and powerful family. He was

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The bystander effect is when people see something bad happening but do nothing to stop it. In this photo, onlookers examine broken windows of Jewish- owned shops in Pressburg, Czechoslovakia, in 1939, during the time leading up to the Holocaust. As the Holocaust unfolded, many people knew about the atrocities that were being done to Jewish neighbors but did nothing.

deeply upset by the Nazis, and so he joined a group to save the Jewish people living in the city of Budapest, Hungary. Wallenberg went to Budapest in July 1944 to help. He made a special safety pass to give to Jewish people. The passes said that whoever owned a pass was protected by the government of Sweden and could not be sent to a Nazi prison. Wallenberg made the passes look very colorful and important, but they were not official passes. The Nazis fell for the ploy anyway and did not arrest people with a Swedish pass. Wallenberg also found about 30 large houses where

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Raoul Wallenberg refused to stand by as people suffered during the Holocaust. He created fake Swedish government passes and found about 30 large houses that protected many Jews in Hungary from being sent to death camps. Among his other heroic deeds, Wallenberg, after learning of a planned massacre for the largest ghetto, sent an ally to tell the commander of the German army in Hungary that the commander would be held accountable for the murders and hanged as a war criminal when the war ended. The massacre was called off, saving more than 70,000 lives.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Jewish people could go to hide. The flag of Sweden hung in the door as a symbol of protection. Again, there was a rule that the Nazis could not capture anyone who was inside one of these houses. About 15,000 people were able to hide in the Swedish houses. Raoul Wallenberg did many other acts of bravery during World War II. He disappeared in 1945, and no one knows what happened to him. Some historians believe he was killed, while others think he lived in hiding for the rest of his life. Historians do know that at the end of the war, 120,000 Jewish people in Hungary were still alive. It is probable that they would not have survived if Raoul Wallenberg and his rescue group had not helped, like many other people at that time.

PEACE TALKS When two people get into an argument over a small event, “I’m sorry” may be the only words that these people need to say. However, it may not be so simple if they have not been getting along for a while or if there is a confusing event that happens to make them both angry at each other. For example, if these two people gossip and spread rumors about each other all through the school year, a simple apology may not be enough to fix the hurt. In some cases, you may decide to just ignore the problem. This is not always the best idea, especially if you are really upset with a person or group of people, say experts at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. If you are angry or frustrated and do not express those feelings, you may find yourself getting angry with other people for no reason. If it gets really bad, you may lose sleep and feel afraid about going to school. If you find yourself in an argument or conflict, and it seems to be a major one, try following the steps below. There are many positive and productive ways to peacefully solve an argument.

Fanning the Flames of Anger

Fixing Conflicts with ­Peace

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esmond Tutu is a South African clergyman who has fought for justice in his country for much of his life. Black, Indian, and multiracial South Africans once suffered under segregation rules, much like what black Americans experienced until the U.S. civil rights movement in the 1950s and 1960s. Black South Africans were not even allowed to be citizens of their own country. They also had weak voting rights and poor education, medical care, and housing. The time period of this segregation in South Africa is known as ­apartheid. Tutu and other antiapartheid leaders did not always agree on everything during and after their fight for equality. In fact, many of Tutu’s peers did not like him because they felt he was not tough enough. Tutu (continues)

Anglican Archbishop of Cape Town Desmond Tutu encouraged ­nonviolence as a means of ending apartheid in South Africa. In this photo, Tutu (center) jogs along a ­whites-­only beach with supporters near Cape Town, South Africa, in ­1989.

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did not like the violent actions of some antiapartheid organizations. He believed in nonviolence, and he said this very clearly, even though it was not popular with some of his peers. Tutu’s goal was to get both sides of the South African conflict to come together and reach agreements without violence. Thanks to his fortitude throughout apartheid, he was able to convince people that peaceful meetings were the best way to fix the problems. Thanks to the work of Tutu and other brave South Africans, apartheid finally ended in 1994.

Step back. Sometimes when people find themselves in a frustrating situation, they respond right away. This response may not be the best one, because there are so many emotions boiling around in a person’s head when an argument starts. His or her words may not come out in the best way. This person may be tempted to say something hurtful or may respond to pressure to turn the argument into a fight. In times such as these, the best thing to do is walk away— at first. This does not mean that the problem must be ignored forever. It is just better to let the situation cool down first before going back to talk to the person or people involved. Take deep breaths and count to 10. Do something to calm down, or find someone to help you. That way, you clear your mind and give yourself time to think. Decide what to do. Next, think about the problem with your clear head. Figure out why you are upset. When some people do this, they realize that the situation was not as big a deal as they thought earlier. Psychologists and other conflict experts suggest asking yourself some questions about what happened:

Fanning the Flames of Anger

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Is someone pushing you to do something? Does this happen a lot? Are you feeling this upset in this situation because you are really angry about something totally different?

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Do you feel like you have to ignore the problem or else you will lose friends?

It may help to talk about these questions with another friend, a trusted adult, or a counselor. He or she can help you figure the answers out and may ask more questions to help you decide on your response. Deal with it. If you decide to talk to the person, choose a time and a place that seem safe and private. (Unless, of course, you are worried about your safety. In that case, it is better to talk to a school counselor, teacher, or parents about the issue.) Tell the person how you feel. Be careful when choosing what you say, and try not to attack the person with your words. A commonly used method to get your message across is to choose “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, a “you” statement is something like this: “You and the others always make me sit at the end of the table during lunch, and then you ignore me the whole time.” A better way to say that is using an “I” statement, such as this: “I feel left out when no one talks to me during lunch.” Both statements express the same problem, but the second one makes your feelings clearer. The first statement will likely cause the other person to defend himself or herself by saying that there is no problem. A big part in any successful talk is to listen to the other person. Desmond Tutu showed the power of that. Other people on his side of the conflict did not like the idea of “talking to the enemy.” Yet, if two sides of a conflict don’t talk, they will never reach an agreement. That is why listening to

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE the other person is so important. You may find out that the other person is upset about something that you did, which you didn’t even remember. You may discover that he or she is having trouble with something else and did not mean to act meanly toward you. Neither of these things will be clear unless you talk about how you feel. If the two sides of a conflict cannot agree on a solution, the best thing to do is talk to a teacher, parent, counselor, or other trusted adult. One side may decide that he or she does not want to make up. If that is the case, there is nothing that can be done but to walk away. As Benjamin Franklin once wrote in a letter to one of his peers, “There was never a good war, or a bad peace.”

UNDER PRESSURE IN THE CLASSROOM

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“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered—either by themselves or by others.” —Mark Twain (1835–1910), American writer

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” —Albert Einstein (1879–1955), German-born theoretical physicist

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tudents and psychologists both report that there is peer pressure on students not to do as well in school as they can. Some students may get good grades but lie to their peers about it. Other students just may not try hard to begin with. Professor and researcher Janine Bempechat believes that this “anti-achievement” peer pressure happens to everyone— preteens, teenagers, and adults alike. This may be because some people are afraid they will not look good next to others

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE who do well, so they try to make high achievers feel bad or embarrassed about success, Bempechat says. “The message to students who value learning couldn’t be clearer: If you want to do well in school, keep it to yourself,” she writes in her book, Getting Our Kids Back on Track. “You don’t have to be a great student—a good student will do.” This harmful message is hurting students, Bempechat says, and it hurts society, too. That is because students who believe this message go through school, graduate, and become adults who still believe that success is embarrassing. Often, the peer pressure to hide success is not spoken. After all, no one says, “Fail this test or I won’t be your friend.” Rather, the pressure to get only so-so grades builds up over time: Friends might not act excited when one of their peers does well. A group of students might brag about not doing the homework or reading, failing a test, or getting detention. Some students even receive anti-achievement pressure from their parents. There is an idea among many people that not caring about school is funny or admirable. Some psychologists believe that this is because going against an official person such as a teacher or principal can seem rebellious. Peers sometimes admire rebellious people and think that they are being daring by not caring. This idea creates strong internal peer pressure on many students not to do well or not to admit to getting good grades. Pretending not to care about school may cause a student to be admired by his or her peers, but that reward only lasts a short while. “If you are constantly missing class and falling behind in your homework, you are creating a big problem for yourself,” writes author Amanda Ford in Be True to Yourself. “You’ll either have a lot of catching up to do in the end, or you’ll risk failing your classes.” The students who do try hard in school will likely end up in better colleges and will then go on to be successful in their jobs, Bempechat says.

Under Pressure in the Classroom

NOT LETTING OBSTACLES GET IN THE WAY elen Keller is famous for breaking stereotypes. Keller, a famous writer born in 1880, became blind and deaf when she was 19 months old. She was very intelligent, but her physical disabilities made it impossible to learn like other children did. Back then, children with disabilities such as hers often did not go to school at all. People did not expect much from them. Still, Keller’s parents wanted her to learn just like other children. They hired a private teacher named Anne Despite being blind and deaf, Helen Sullivan. Keller never let anything hold her Sullivan became Keller’s back. She was able to learn how to teacher when Keller was communicate with the help of her about seven years old. It teacher, Anne Sullivan (right). In was difficult at first because this picture, eight-year-old Keller Keller could not communi- holds hands with Sullivan while on cate with anyone. Yet, Sul- a summer vacation in Cape Cod. livan had the fortitude to keep going. She taught her student the letters of the alphabet in sign language by forming her fingers into each letter against Keller’s hand. Because Keller could not see the letters, she had to feel them to understand. Sullivan also tried to

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(continues)

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teach her words. Keller did not understand for a long time. Then, one day, Sullivan held Keller’s hand under some running water and signed the word water in her hand. Suddenly, it all became clear to her. She learned 30 more words in that day alone. Later on, she learned how to write. When she was older, she learned how to type. Helen Keller, despite her difficulties, went to college and became a famous writer. She also worked hard to help people who, like her, had physical disabilities. Because of her, people began to understand that people with disabilities are no different from people without disabilities.

The best way to get past this peer pressure is to surround yourself with people who support your goals, say authors Charlene C. Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese in their book, The Roller Coaster Years. This means, most importantly, being careful of whom you choose as friends. In many cases, it can also be helpful to talk with someone who is an expert in something you enjoy or who shares one of your talents. Giannetti and Sagarese suggest asking your parents to help you find a mentor. For instance, if you are interested in what is being done to clean up the environment, find a scientist at a local college who you can interview. You will learn more about the subject, and an expert may help you get involved with some interesting projects or groups. Your involvement could even result in a summer or side job. Susan Fehres learned how important it was to follow her interests and dreams. Fehres says that she did not get perfect grades in school, but she always loved science. She allowed her love for science to grow. Today she is an engineer for the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), the

Under Pressure in the Classroom U.S. government’s space program. Engineers are people who use science and math to solve problems in the world, she explains on her personal page on NASA’s Web site. Fehres’s job is to work on high-tech materials that help a spacecraft survive the extreme temperatures in space. It is a fun job, she says, because she gets to use her math and science skills in different ways every day. The best response to peer pressure is not to conform to what everyone else is doing, Fehres says. This is especially true in school, when others may be telling you that certain subjects are boring or useless. “Right now and during the rest of your schooling, you are preparing yourself for your adult life,” Fehres says. “Math and science are tools for your toolbox, keys to unlock your future. If you don’t get those math and science keys, you are locked out of a lot of great future possibilities.” Students can “aim” themselves in the direction of some of the most interesting and fun jobs by working hard in science, she explains.

THE PRESSURE TO FIT STEREOTYPES In 1999, researchers from Harvard University studied stereotypes of how well students of different ethnic backgrounds do in school. (The word ethnic means having a common racial, national, tribal, religious, or cultural origin.) The researchers examined how those stereotypes can affect a student’s success in certain subjects. In many studies in the past, researchers have found that if a person expects to do well in something, he or she will feel more confident. Because the person feels more confident, he or she is more likely do well. The opposite is also true: If a person expects failure, he or she will be less confident. That feeling often causes the person to do poorly. The Harvard researchers found more support for this idea in their studies of positive and negative student stereotypes. They found that positive stereotypes, such as “All Asian

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE people are good at math,” sometimes caused Asian students to do better in school. Researchers believed these students worked harder because they felt that they were expected to be at the top of their classes. On the other hand, researchers found that negative stereotypes about ethnic backgrounds caused some students to do poorly in school. The researchers reported that AfricanAmerican and Hispanic students were especially at risk of getting lower grades because of stereotypes. These students said that they believed they could not get good grades, or that it would make them unpopular if they did. Because of these beliefs, the stereotype sometimes came true. There is sometimes strong peer pressure on students of certain ethnic backgrounds not to do well in school. This is common among some African-American students and, in particular, African-American boys, according to the Gale Encyclopedia of Psychology. According to one study, some groups of African-American peers thought that studying, getting good grades, and joining school activities were things that only white students did. Because of this, some students looked down on their peers who did those things, and believed they were like “traitors” to the other people of their same ethnic background. This kind of pressure can cause problems with classes and grades for students as young as seven years old, according to some research. Smart students may choose not to try as hard. They may feel like they have to “make the choice between academics and ‘fitting in,’ ” explained Hallie Bourne, author of the Gale encyclopedia article. Research shows that this sad choice sometimes happens among Hispanic students, too. It is extremely important for a student to ignore peer pressure to “fit in” by not doing well in school. The color of a person’s skin and the features of his or her face have no effect on how smart the person is.

Under Pressure in the Classroom

UNDER PRESSURE TO BE A STAR There is another kind of pressure to get certain grades. It is a pressure that most often comes from parents and other adults: the pressure to be good at everything and to always come in first place. In his book, Our Boys Speak, author and psychologist John Nikkah remembers his own struggles. He describes his parents as caring and helpful but says that he became very worried about pleasing them when he was a young adult. “Since I had the ideal parents, I had to be the ideal son,” Nikkah wrote. “That meant never getting in trouble at school, never hanging out with the wrong crowd, and always striving to achieve the best grades.” It is a positive goal to try for the best grades. Still, it’s important not to get upset if something goes wrong. It is impossible to come in first place all the time, and if a person is afraid of not being the best at something, he or she may shy away from a challenge. Being afraid of coming in second place— or in last place—may make a person avoid positive risks, such as trying out for a sports team or a school play. Author Amanda Ford points out that successes and failures are part of life. Everyone experiences both. “If you’re too afraid of failure, you’ll never allow yourself to succeed,” Ford says.

CHEATING Middle school classes have more tests than elementary school classes do. The homework is more complicated, too, writer Abby Margolis Newman points out. The pressure to get good grades on difficult tests and homework assignments can lead good students to do bad things—like cheating, she says. Three examples of cheating are:

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working with other students when group work is not allowed

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copying work from a classmate or letting that person copy from you

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sneaking notes into a test that is not an open-book test

A fourth example of cheating is when a student copies words or ideas straight from other sources to use in an assignment. Those other sources can include books, Web sites, magazines, or any other kind of media. Copying work in this way is cheating if the student does not put quotation marks around the quotes or does not give credit to others when repeating their ideas. This kind of cheating is called plagiarism. Students who plagiarize are using someone else’s work and lying by saying that the work is their own. It does not matter if students copy whole pages, a few sentences, or just a short phrase of three or four words. If students steal another person’s writing and pretend that they wrote it, it is plagiarism. In addition to being dishonest, plagiarism is against the law. Unfortunately, many students believe that it is okay to cheat. Even if they believe it is wrong, some students will cheat anyway because of direct or internal peer pressure. In direct peer pressure, a classmate may pressure you to let him or her copy your homework. In internal peer pressure, you may feel like it is okay to cheat because you see other people in your class doing it. After a while, cheating may even begin to feel normal, says Professor Don McCabe. Professor McCabe works at Rutgers University and has studied the cheating and plagiarism that happens among middle school and high school students. He did a survey of seventh-grade students during the 2000–2001 school year and spoke to Newman about his findings. In that survey, McCabe discovered that:

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64 percent of students said that they have teamed with one or more students when they were supposed to be doing work on their own

Under Pressure in the Classroom

WHAT TO DO WITH A LEARNING DISABILITY or some students, school may be harder than it is for others. Having dyslexia can make it difficult to read. Having ADD (attention deficit disorder) or ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder) may make paying attention in class seem impossible. Sometimes, students with learning disabilities also have the unfair and untrue stereotype of being “lazy” or “stupid.” Students Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom, with learning disabilities stars of the Pirates of the Caribbean may often become frus- movies, overcame their struggles with trated and disappointed dyslexia to become successful actors. with school. They also may Here, they pose after a press confersee peers who have an ence in London in 2006 promoting easier time with classes, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s and then begin to believe Chest. those stereotypes about learning disabilities. All of that may lead some students to stop trying, say experts at LDonline.org, a Washington, D.C.-based site funded by a local PBS station to educate about learning disabilities. Yet, having learning disabilities simply means that a learningdisabled student must try new and different ways to learn. Most

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(continues)

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students who need to think like this are actually very gifted people, says Dr. Sheldon H. Horowitz of the National Center for Learning Disabilities. The need to learn in new ways can even help a person become a more creative individual, Horowitz says. Having a learning disability does not mean that a person cannot do well in school or in life. Many writers, artists, musicians, scientists, and other famous people have ADD, dyslexia, or other learning disabilities, according to the education organization Schwab Learning. Avi, a popular author of young adult books, has said that he has faced dyslexia for a long time, and it has not stopped him from writing. Both Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, stars of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, have dyslexia, too. Yet, they are still able to read scripts for movies and have both become successful actors. “I remember going in for an audition when I was eight, and it was the most excruciating (embarrassing) experience because I couldn’t read my lines,” Knightley told an interviewer. “My desire to act was my driving force. I got really good help from some amazing teachers and my mother and father worked tirelessly with me. So by the time I was 11, I had kind of overcome the dyslexia and now it’s not really a problem. I don’t notice it anymore.”

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48 percent said that they have copied someone else’s homework 87 percent said that they have let someone else copy their homework

The problem, Newman says, is that many students (and even some adults) do not think cheating is any big deal. Little do these students know, but there is a good chance that cheaters will be caught. For example, several Web sites are available to help teachers figure out if a paper has been

Under Pressure in the Classroom plagiarized, Newman says. Yet, worse than getting caught, is that students who cheat show a lack of honesty and integrity. They also lose out on learning, which will likely hurt them later in life. “Cheating is a form of lying,” professor Thomas Lickona points out in Scholastic Parents magazine. “You are deceiving another person, and this damages your character.”

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CIGARETTES, ALCOHOL, AND OTHER DRUGS

“Our characters are the result of our conduct.” —Aristotle (384 b.c.–322 b.c.), Greek thinker and scientist

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eople go through a lot of changes in middle school. They start out as kids just out of elementary school, and they graduate as teenagers. That means a lot of growing up in a few short years. One of the obstacles that many people will face in middle school or high school is the temptation to try cigarettes, alcohol, or other substances.

WATCHING OUT FOR THE SMOKING TRAP According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 80 percent of smokers begin before the age of 18—the legal age to begin smoking. That means that most people who smoke started smoking when it was illegal for them to do so. Some people copy the habit from their parents or older siblings. According to the Mayo Clinic, a respected medical center in Minnesota, only about 2 percent of smokers do not have parents who smoke.

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Cigarettes, Alcohol, and Other Drugs There are other sources that can influence a young person to pick up cigarettes. Many critics point to the media, which often shows positive images of smoking, or at least images that do not seem so bad. Tobacco use is shown in movies for all ages. Take the Disney Company as an example: Between 1999 and 2006, 30 percent of its G-rated films showed smoking, according to a report by Smoke Free Movies. With PGrated films, 36 percent of them showed smoking, and 79 percent of PG-13 ones showed it, too. Not all films that show smoking show it in a positive way. Many times, a movie’s villain is the one who is smoking cigarettes. Yet, that often does not matter because, according to experts, simply showing smoking encourages cigarette use. Dr. Stan Getz, a professor at the University of California at San Francisco, is the head of Smoke Free Movies. “Basically, movies are the main reason teens start smoking,” Getz argues. “They are not the only reason, but they are the main reason.” Officials from the U.S. government are starting to agree. According to the Seattle Times, two large offices in the government—the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the Institute of Medicine of the National Academy of Sciences—have agreed that smoking in movies inspires young people to start smoking. That’s a form of peer pressure. If someone offers you a cigarette, you have the choice to turn it down. The person offering the cigarette has likely fallen for the idea that smoking makes him or her seem older, more sophisticated, or rebellious. If you feel comfortable doing so, point out the negatives of smoking. Some of the downfalls are obvious: It causes a person’s teeth to become yellow and makes his or her breath, hair, clothes, and belongings smell like smoke. In addition, scientists report that smoking leads to heart disease, stroke, many kinds of cancer, and lung disease. It can be hard to keep these things in mind when they aren’t likely

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BASEBALL PLAYER TAKES ANTI-SMOKING STAND onus Wagner was a baseball star who played for the Pittsburgh Pirates in the late 1800s and early 1900s. In those days, baseball cards were included in packs of cigarettes as a free gift for the person buying the pack. Wagner, however, was a nonsmoker and did not like the idea of his baseball card being put in a pack of cigarettes. Many young people looked up to him. He worried that having his card in a pack of cigarettes would set a bad example for his young fans. Wagner fought to get his card removed, and it finally was taken out in 1909. Today, his card is one of the most valuable baseball cards that exists.

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Pittsburgh Pirates baseball player Honus Wagner had his trading card removed from Piedmont cigarette packs because he felt strongly against tobacco and did not want to set a bad example for his young fans. The Piedmont logo (right) was on the back of the card.

Cigarettes, Alcohol, and Other Drugs to happen until adulthood, but remember this: Studies have shown that the younger a person starts smoking, the harder it is to quit. Even as a teenager, quitting can be difficult. About half of teenagers who are daily smokers say that they feel physically sick if they stop. That is a sign of addiction—when a person needs a substance in order to feel okay and has a hard time quitting. Addiction is why many people continue smoking even though they know it can kill them. Many U.S. states have decided to ban cigarette smoking inside most public places. Some states ban smoking in all public places—bars, restaurants, malls, office buildings, sports stadiums, and more. The negative health effects of smoking are the biggest reason for the bans. Scientific studies have suggested that it can be harmful to be in the same room as cigarette smoke for long periods of time. Being around smoke all day and night has caused health problems for some people who work in places such as bars and restaurants. Now, smoking bans in many states have helped all people breathe cleaner air.

TURNING TO ALCOHOL AND DRUGS The legal drinking age in the United States is 21, but that does not stop some people from breaking the law by drinking at a younger age. Many people falsely believe that experimenting with substances is just a normal and healthy part of growing up, according to psychologist Hilary Pilkington. Government surveys report that some people try alcohol as early as middle school. About half of all eighth graders have tried alcohol, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Alcohol abuse is the most common substance abuse in the United States, according to national surveys. Abusers include both adults and underage drinkers. There seems to be a connection between adult alcohol abuse and the age at which a person starts drinking. The National Survey on Drug Use and Health reports that people who begin drinking during middle

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE school or younger are five times more likely to have alcohol problems, compared to people who wait until they are 21. It may seem obvious: Alcohol is illegal for young people and causes both young and adult abusers a lot of problems. Abuse of illegal drugs can cause serious health and social problems. Yet, there are three common reasons for drinking and doing other drugs:

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Escaping from problems. Some people feel unhappy in life, whether it is because of friends, or because of family problems. Alcohol and drugs change how a person thinks and feels for a little while. Because of this, troubled people may turn to these substances to “escape” their world for a short time.

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Experimenting. Some young people may be curious about the effects of alcohol and drugs, so they may try them without thinking about the bad results. This is dangerous because drinking and taking drugs is not like experimenting with new clothes or a wild hair color. Those are changes to the outside of your body. Alcohol and drugs affect the inside of your body in ways that you cannot see. Trying to fit in. Middle school, and later on high school, are unsure times when it comes to friends and social life. Certain people may feel that drinking and taking drugs will make them appear more knowledgeable or popular. Some people may choose to abuse alcohol or drugs because they see others doing it and they do not want to appear different.

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In middle schools, as many as 44 percent of students say they have seen evidence of alcohol use or illegal drug sales or drug use on school grounds, according to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. About one in five teenage students said that the “popular” cliques had reputations of being drinkers or drug users.

Cigarettes, Alcohol, and Other Drugs

Stepping in to Help a ­Friend

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t is important to respect friends’ choices. If you do, they are more likely to respect your personal choices, according to the Inspire Foundation’s Reach Out! program. However, if your friends’ choices include trying cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs, it is not a good idea to stand by and ­watch. Try discussing the problems of substance use with your friend, and explain why you are so against it. Make it clear that you are concerned about this person’s health, and explain why. It helps to be armed with facts about whatever substance your friend is using. There is a lot of incorrect information about cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol that is passed around school and on the Internet. For example, some people falsely believe that abusing “legal” drugs such as cold medicines is safe. In fact, the substance in cold medicines that causes a high (a drug called DXM) can be deadly when taken in large ­doses—­which is the kind of dose a person is taking when he or she uses cold medicine to get ­high. With any luck, you may be able to talk this person out of what he or she is doing. If not, and if you believe this person’s health or safety is at risk, talk to a trusted adult about what to do. Your friend may be angry at first, but you could be helping to improve, or even save, his or her ­life.

Because of that, drinking or doing drugs can seem to some people as an easy way to become more ­popular. Researchers, however, have studied these beliefs and come up with interesting findings that show otherwise. Their theory, called the social norms theory, says that most people believe that their peers smoke, drink, or do drugs more than those peers actually do. Also, people usually believe that their peers view substance use in a mostly positive way, when most of them in fact do not. Yet, if they believe that certain behaviors are common or normal, they will be more likely

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE to do them. That is a form of internal peer pressure, and it is one way that rumors of drug and alcohol use hurt people: Rumors can make drug use and drinking seem like normal things to do and pressure people into feeling like they should be doing them.

OVERCOMING PEER PRESSURE

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“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” —Dr. Seuss (1904–1991), American children’s book writer

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r. Seuss mostly wrote for children, but his words here are very true and wise for everyone: The people in your life who matter the most will not think poorly of you for expressing yourself, following your goals and dreams, speaking your mind, and going against the crowd. If someone does think poorly of you for being you, that person is not that important. Surrounding oneself with supportive people is the most helpful thing a person can do to live a good and honest life. The first step to staying free from negative peer pressure is to figure out exactly how it affects you. Direct peer pressure is the easiest kind to spot. An example of direct peer pressure is when someone dares another person to do something. Internal peer pressure is not as easy to spot. An example of internal peer pressure is when a person starts following a fad because it seems like everyone else in school is following it, too. A more serious kind of internal peer pressure is to join other people in bullying a classmate, or simply be a bystander to the bullying. If everyone else is being mean to another

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE student, you may be tempted to be mean, too. If no one else is doing anything to stop the bullying, you also may feel unsure about whether you should do something. It can be difficult to stand out when everyone else around you seems to be giving in to peer pressure. Luckily, there are a few steps that all students can take to make standing out a little easier.

KNOW YOURSELF The second step to standing up against negative peer pressure is to know yourself and know what makes for strong character. Whatever the kind of peer pressure, it is important to take a stand based on your values. The Nemours Foundation’s Web site suggests that, when faced with peer pressure, “paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something when you know better.” Officials from the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) suggest a helpful tip for how to identify your values. Make a list of rules for what you are willing to do, and also rules for what you are not willing to do. Most important, be specific about why you will or will not do something. For example, the “will do” list may include:

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I will stick up for people who are being bullied because I would not want to be bullied myself.

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I will be friendly to people I do not know very well because, later on, they could turn out to be good friends. I will do my own schoolwork and will not be embarrassed to ask for help from a teacher or tutor if I need it. I will do this because I want to do well in school.

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Overcoming Peer Pressure The “will not do” list may include:

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I will not make fun of someone else for being different, because everyone is different in some way. I will not let other people copy my homework just so they can get a better grade. It was their fault for not doing the work themselves, and I should not let them get away with that. I will not allow others to make me feel like a little kid just because I do not feel comfortable doing something that I believe is wrong or dangerous. I will not let them do this because I know that people who act like that are just trying to feel important.

Making a detailed list of your personal rules can be helpful when figuring out exactly what your values are. Once you have a clear idea of your values, resisting peer pressure becomes simpler. After all, it is easier to say no to someone if you know why you are saying no. For example, you may have a rule against cheating because you believe that people should be responsible for doing their own work. Then, if someone pressures you to pass over your homework so he or she can copy it, “the decision will be automatic,” SAMHSA officials say.

BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE Not everyone is naturally very good at standing up to peer pressure. That does not mean that he or she cannot build strength in this skill. One of the biggest keys to resisting peer pressure is to build your own confidence. Studies show that people who describe themselves in positive ways are much less likely to give in to peer pressure. This is because they do not worry as much about other people’s opinions of them. To build your own confidence, be a person with integrity. This means making promises to yourself and keeping them. It may include making your own list of what you will

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE do and what you will not do. Practice keeping your personal rules. When you keep promises to yourself (and to others), you will begin to trust yourself more to do the right thing. Practicing integrity has been shown to increase a person’s self-esteem. Good self-esteem is a powerful weapon against peer pressure.

BACKUP PLANS Building confidence and self-esteem is the best way to resist the pressure to do something that you do not want to do. Everyone should also have plans for what to do and say when faced with peer pressure. No matter a person’s age, gender, or background, all people will face some sort of peer pressure at some time in life. Follow these four steps to get through a sticky situation:

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Figure out a plan ahead of time. Brainstorm what you feel comfortable doing or saying in response to peer pressure. When you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, stand back and observe for a minute to really see what is going on. After you have gathered information about the situation, think about your personal values. How do the actions of other people agree or disagree with what you believe is right? Take action. You could use one of the plans you came up with earlier. You may decide to say something or to ignore the pressure and walk away, depending on what is happening at that moment. You may want to ask for help from someone else, especially if the situation is dangerous.

Some day, you may find yourself in a peer pressure situation that you want to get out of as soon as possible. There is noth-

Overcoming Peer Pressure ing to be ashamed about if you are afraid that others will make fun of you for backing away. Talk to your parents and come up with a “code phrase” that you can say over the phone so your parents will understand it to mean, “Come pick me up!” Having a code phrase will make you feel better if you do not yet feel strong enough to stand up alone in a peer pressure situation. For example, imagine John as he is walking around with his friends after school. They walk by a drugstore, and one person in the group dares another to go in and try to shoplift something. John immediately feels nervous and very guilty about doing this. He is not the kind of person who does that sort of thing, and he does not want to be around anyone who does. Everyone else is running around the corner to plan what to do. John, however, has planned for this kind of situation. He has a cell phone and quickly calls his father. He does this quietly and acts as though he is just picking up his phone to answer a call from someone. When his dad picks up, he says, “Hello Pop.” That is the code phrase that he and his father decided long ago. John always calls his father “Dad,” so saying “Pop” informs his father right away that there is something wrong. As soon as John says this, his father says, “I’m on my way.” John tells his friends that his father just called and that he has to go. They protest at first, but then they say okay. John says good-bye and walks away from the situation. It’s best to be honest and stand up to peer pressure when it happens. Telling other people that something is wrong not only helps you, but it helps them too. For example, if John told his friends that it was wrong to shoplift, he would be stopping them from doing something illegal. He might also prevent his friends from getting in trouble. However, it is hard to stand up alone to peer pressure all the time. You may feel like you need to have a backup plan like John did. It is okay to feel that way, and it is better to do what he did than it is just to go along with the group.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE There also may be times when a person is faced with the pressure to try cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. It is extremely important to plan for these situations. “Decide ahead of time—and even rehearse—what you’ll say and do,” suggests the Nemours Foundation. You may someday find yourself in a situation that seems dangerous. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, then that is a strong clue that something is wrong with it. If that is the case, don’t sit by and watch. Leave the scene and get an adult’s help.

WHEN FRIENDS DISAGREE Naming your values, building your confidence, and having a backup plan are all helpful when resisting peer pressure. Even people who do all these things may feel tempted to give in sometimes. This is because, quite often, the people who put a lot of pressure on you will be your friends. You may feel like saying “no” to them will be letting them down. Friends may convince you that doing something you don’t want to do is not so bad. This is why it is important to be careful when choosing friends. If your friends all do mean or illegal things, then, chances are, you will feel pressured to follow them. “If you choose friends who don’t use drugs, cut class, smoke cigarettes, or lie to their parents, then you probably won’t do these things either, even if other kids do,” writes the Nemours Foundation. Positive friends will most often put positive pressure on you to do the right thing. True friends do not try to force each other to do something wrong or dangerous. If you find yourself in a situation where friends are pressuring you to do something, SAMHSA officials suggest asking yourself a few questions. Are these friends being fair? Are they just trying to get you to do something to help them? For example, it is easy to refuse to give your homework to a stranger to copy. But what if that person is your best friend? If

Overcoming Peer Pressure that happens, ask yourself if this person is being selfish. The answer is yes, so the answer to “What should I do?” should be easy. Explain to the friend why you are saying no. If he or she is a real friend, saying no should not matter. It also helps to have other people to back you up. “This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist,” the Nemours Foundation says. Having friends is important, but your friendships should not be in charge of your self-esteem. If you feel like you must be friends with certain people in order to feel good about yourself, psychologists say it will become easier and easier to give in when those people push you to do something. Strong self-esteem does not come from those around you. It only comes from inside you. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

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glossary apartheid  A period in South Africa’s history in which there were different rules and freedoms for people of different ­races body image  A person’s ­ self-­esteem about how he or she ­looks civil disobedience  A peaceful protest in which people purposely break a law that they believe is ­unfair clique  A close circle of friends. Many people use the word clique to mean a circle of friends that does not let others join, and that bullies other ­people. conflict  A disagreement, argument, or ­fight conform  To act in the same way that peers are acting, to try to look the same, or to choose interests based on what is ­popular fad  A popular trend that lasts for a short period of ­time fortitude  The ability to do the right thing even when it is ­difficult identity  The mix of each person’s character traits and personality that makes him or her ­special influence  To affect how someone else acts or feels. Influ-­ ence is also used as a noun to mean “the power to affect others.” inspire  To motivate or encourage someone else to do something. An “inspiration” is a person or thing that ­inspires. integrity  The ability to stick to your beliefs, keep your word, and stand up for your ­morals media  Ways that information is communicated to large audiences. Newspapers, magazines, television shows, movies, and advertising are all forms of ­media. psychologist  A person who studies how people think and act, and also what makes people think and act the way they ­do

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Glossary rebellious Against what most other people do, or against what people think is “normal” role A part or a job that a person has in life or in a community society A community stereotype A belief that all people of a certain group are the same. Stereotypes can be positive or negative.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Fehres, Susan. “Susan Fehres.” Women of NASA. Available online. URL: http://quest.arc.nasa.gov/people/bios/ women/sf.html. Accessed March 2, 2008. Felt, Adrienne, and David Evans. “Privacy Protection for Social Networking APIs.” Computer Science at the University of Virginia. Available online. URL: http://www.cs.virginia.edu/ felt/privacy. Accessed March 2, 2008. Ford, Amanda. Be True to Yourself: A Daily Guide for Teenage Girls. Berkeley, Calif.: Conari Press, 2000. Gavenas, Mary Lisa. Color Stories. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2007. Giannetti, Charlene G., and Margaret Sagarese. The RollerCoaster Years. New York: Broadway Books, 1997. The Giraffe Heroes Project. Available online. URL: http://www. giraffe.org. Accessed March 2, 2008. Goodcharacter.com: Character Education: Free Resources, Materials, Lesson Plans. Available online. URL: http://www. goodcharacter.com. Accessed March 2, 2008. Gregory, Sophfronia Scott. “The Hidden Hurdle.” Time, March 16, 1992. Available online. URL: http://www.time.com/ time/magazine/article/0,9171,975090,00.html. Accessed March 2, 2008. Grigsby, Donna G. “Substance Abuse: Nicotine.” WebMD. Available online. URL: http://www.emedicine.com/PED/ topic2663.htm. Accessed March 2, 2008. Gross, Augusta. “Defining the Self as a Leader for Children with LD.” LD Online. Available online. URL: http://www.ldonline. org/article/6152. Accessed March 2, 2008. Haines, Michael P. “Best Practices: Social Norms.” Wisconsin Clearinghouse for Prevention Resources. Available online. URL: http://wch.uhs.wisc.edu/13-Eval/Tools/Resources/ Social%20Norms.pdf. Accessed March 2, 2008. Hirt, Megan. “Your Brain on the Book.” University Daily Kansan, December 6, 2007. Available online. URL: http://www. kansan.com/stories/2007/dec/06/your_brain_book. Accessed March 2, 2008.

Bibliography Hoopedia. “Muggsy Bogues.” Available online. URL: http:// hoopedia.nba.com/index.php/Muggsy_Bogues. Accessed March 2, 2008. Horowitz, Sheldon H. “Giftedness and LD: Twice Exceptional and Still Struggling.” LD News, September 2006. Available online. URL: http://www.ncld.org/content/view/1071/480. Accessed March 2, 2008. IWK Health Centre. “The Student Body: Promoting Health at Any Size.” Body Image Research Programme. Available online. URL: http://research.aboutkidshealth.ca/ thestudentbody/home.asp. Accessed March 2, 2008. Keltner, Dacher, and Jason Marsh. “We Are All Bystanders.” Greater Good Magazine 3, no. 2 (fall/winter 2006–2007). Available online. URL: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ greatergood/archive/2006fallwinter/keltnermarsh.html. Accessed March 2, 2008. Kilbourne, Jean. “Beauty . . . and the Beast of Advertising.” Media & Values 49 (winter 1990). Available online. URL: http://www.medialit.org/reading_room/article40.html. Accessed March 2, 2008. Kuczynski, Alex. “A Sense of Anxiety a Shirt Won’t Cover.” New York Times, June 14, 2007. Available online. URL: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/14/fashion/14reduction. html?pagewanted=print. Accessed March 2, 2008. Lickona, Thomas. “What Is Good Character?” Ch. 4 in Educating for Character: How Our Schools Can Teach Respect and Responsibility. New York: Bantam Publishers, 1991. ———. “Why Character Matters.” Ch. 1 in Character Matters. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2004. Lickona, Tom, Eric Schaps, and Catherine Lewis. Eleven Principles of Effective Character Education (pamphlet). Washington, D.C.: The Character Education Partnership, 2006. McCabe, Donald. “Cheating: Why Students Do It and How We Can Help Them Stop.” Appendix A in Guiding Students from Cheating and Plagiarism to Honesty and Integrity. Edited by

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Ann Lathrop and Kathleen Foss. Westport, Conn.: Libraries Unlimited, 2005. Molina, Alejandra. “Serrano Intermediate Students Work to Break Stereotypes and Cliques.” Orange County Register, November 16, 2007. Available online. URL: http://www. ocregister.com/news/students-serrano-percent-1924541intermediate-people. Accessed March 2, 2008. Murphy, Madonna. “Can Good Character Be Taught?” Character Education in America’s Blue Ribbon Schools: Best Practices for Meeting the Challenge. Lanham, Md.: Scarecrow Publishers, 2002. Murr, Andrew, Vanessa Juarez, Anne Underwood, Karen Springen, and Pat Wingert. “The Trouble with Boys.” Newsweek, January 20, 2006. Available online. URL: http://www. newsweek.com/id/47522/page/1. Accessed March 2, 2008. The National Women’s Health Information Center. “Relationships: Dealing with Conflict.” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office on Women’s Health. Available online. URL: http://www.girlshealth.gov/relationships/ conflict_resolution.htm. Accessed March 2, 2008. Nemours Foundation. “Dealing with Bullying.” TeensHealth. Available online. URL: http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/ your_mind/problems/bullies.html. Accessed March 2, 2008. ———. “Is Dieting OK for Kids?” KidsHealth. Available online. URL: http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/stay_healthy/food/ diet.html. Accessed March 2, 2008. Newman, Abby Margolis. “21st-century Cheating.” Scholastic Parents (nd). Available online. URL: http://content. scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=2142. Accessed March 2, 2008. ———. “A Brave New World.” Scholastic Parents (nd). Available online. URL: http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article. jsp?id=10197. Accessed March 2, 2008. Nikkah, John. Our Boys Speak: Adolescent Boys Write about Their Inner Lives. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2000.

Bibliography Office on Smoking and Health, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. “Health Effects of Cigarette Smoking.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Available online. URL: http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/ data_statistics/Factsheets/health_effects.htm. Accessed March 2, 2008. PBS. “Igor Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring.” Culture Shock. Available online. URL: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/cultureshock/ flashpoints/music/riteofspring.html. Accessed March 2, 2008. Pilkington, Hilary. “Beyond ‘Peer Pressure’: Rethinking Drug Use and ‘Youth Culture.’ ” International Journal of Drug Policy 18, no. 3 (May 2007): 213–224. Reach Out! “Peer Pressure.” Inspire Foundation. Available online. URL: http://www.reachout.com.au/default. asp?ti=274. Accessed March 2, 2008. Renfrew Center Foundation for Eating Disorders. “Eating Disorders 101 Guide: A Summary of Issues, Statistics, and Resources.” Available online (download). URL: http://www. renfrewcenter.com/uploads/resources/1067338472_1.doc. Accessed March 2, 2008. Ridge, Tess. “Feeling Under Pressure: Low-income Girls Negotiating School Life.” Ch. 2 in Problem Girls: Understanding and Supporting Troubled and Troublesome Girls and Young Women. Edited by Gwynedd Lloyd. New York: RoutledgeFalmer, 2005. Royce, Jacqueline M., Kitty Corbett, Glorian Sorensen, and Judith Ockene. “Gender, Social Pressure, and Smoking Cessations: The Community Intervention Trial for Smoking Cessation (COMMIT) at Baseline.” Social Science and Medicine 44, no. 3 (February 1997): 359–370. Ryan, Kevin, and Karen Behling. “Views, Values, or Virtues?” Ch. 2 in Building Character in Schools. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1999. Saltz, Gail. “Kid Facing Peer Pressure? How to Battle Back.” NBC News TODAY. Available online. URL: http://www. msnbc.msn.com/id/5897077. Accessed March 2, 2008.

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Satter, Ellyn. “Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming.” Wellness Councils of America, Absolute Advantage 5, no. 3 (2006): 14–17. Schecter, Barnet. The Devil’s Own Work: The Civil War Draft Riots and the Fight to Reconstruct America. New York: Walker & Company, 2007. Schwab Learning. “Famous People with Dyslexia and Other Learning Disabilities and/or AD/HD.” Available online. URL: http://www.schwablearning.org/articles. aspx?r=258#musicians. Accessed March 2, 2008. Shea, Christopher. “In Praise of Peer Pressure.” Boston Globe, April 29, 2007. Available online. URL: http://www.boston. com/news/education/higher/articles/2007/04/29/in_ praise_of_peer_pressure. Accessed March 2, 2008. Smoke Free Movies. “Studio Survey: The Disney Company.” Available online. URL: http://smokefreemovies.ucsf.edu/ pdf/Studio-Disney9906.pdf. Accessed March 2, 2008. Solter, Aletha. “What Causes Violence?” Aware Parenting Institute. Available online. URL: http://www.awareparenting. com/violence.htm. Accessed March 2, 2008. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. “Good Decisions: More Than a Feeling.” SAMHSA Family Guide. Available online. URL: http://family. samhsa.gov/talk/gdecisions.aspx. Accessed March 2, 2008. ———. “Start Talking Before They Start Drinking.” SAMHSA Family Guide. Available online. URL: http://family.samhsa. gov/stop/talk.aspx. Accessed March 2, 2008. Sweeney, Camille. “Never Too Young for That First Pedicure.” New York Times, February 28, 2008. Available online. URL: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/28/fashion/28Skin.html ?em&ex=1204347600&en=c87d1205e92ee373&ei=5087%0A. Accessed March 2, 2008. Teaching Tolerance. “Mix It Up at Lunch.” The Southern Poverty Law Center. Available online. URL: http://www.tolerance. org/teens/lunch.jsp. Accessed March 2, 2008.

Bibliography Trotter, Lisa, Melanie Wakefield, and Ron Borland. “Socially Cued Smoking in Bars, Nightclubs, and Gaming Venues: A Case for Introducing Smoke-free Policies.” Tobacco Control 11 (2002): 300–304. University of Nottingham. “Resisting Peer Pressure: New Findings Shed Light on Adolescent Decision-making.” News Archive, July 25, 2007. Available online. URL: http:// research.nottingham.ac.uk/NewsReviews/newsDisplay. aspx?id=361. Accessed March 2, 2008. Wikiquote, online encyclopedia of quotations. Available online. URL: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Main_Page. Accessed March 2, 2008. Wiseman, Rosalind. Queen Bees and Wannabes. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2002.

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FURTHER RESOURCES Kaufman, Gershen. Stick up for Yourself! Every Kid’s Guide to Personal Power & Positive Self-Esteem. Minneapolis, Minn.: Free Spirit Publishing, 1999. Romain, Trevor. Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney. Minneapolis, Minn.: Free Spirit Publishing, 1998. Shearin Karres, Erika V. Mean Chicks, Cliques, and Dirty Tricks. Avon, Mass.: Adams Media, 2004. Spinelli, Jerry. Wringer. New York: HarperTrophy, 1998. Woodson, Jacqueline. Last Summer with Maizon. New York: Putnam Juvenile, 2002.

WEB SITES Don’t Buy It: Get Media Smart! http://pbskids.org/dontbuyit The quizzes and articles are funny, but the message is serious. Find out how companies create peer pressure to get people to buy into trends. Learn how to tell advertising truth from advertising fiction, and test your media smarts. Giraffe Heroes Project http://www.giraffe.org/kids.html The Giraffe Heroes Project honors people of all ages and nationalities who “stick their necks out” for the good of their communities and the world. On this special page for students, read about the project, learn the stories of some inspiring heroes, and honor people in your own community for standing up for the common good. KidsHealth http://www.kidshealth.org/kid Click on “Dealing with Feelings” to learn more about peer pressure, bullying, cheating, cliques, gossip, body image, and other tough issues that many students face.

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PICTURE CREDITS Page: 15

Yellow Dog Productions/Getty Images

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The Granger Collection, New York

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Getty Images

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Erin Patrick O’Brien/ Getty Images

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Bettmann/Corbis

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Corbis

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Valerie Downes / SPLC

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Picturehistory/ Newscom

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Rue des Archives/The Granger Collection, New York

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Ace Stock Limited/ Alamy

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AP Images

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AFP/Stringer/Getty Images

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New England Historic Genealogical Society, Boston, MA [Thaxter Parks Spencer Papers]

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Zunique/Newscom

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Stefan Rousseau/PA Photos/Landov

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Zuma Photos/Newscom

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INDEX Bly, Nellie, 40, 42 Around the World in Seventy-Two Days, 43 body image effects on, 48, 50–52 and puberty, 50 body language, 49 Bogues, Muggsy, 52 Bombeck, Erma, 33 bulimia nervosa, 50 bullying, 25, 56, 89–90 online, 62 verbal, 62 bystander effect, 89–90 research, 62–64, 66

A Addams, Jane, 28 advertisers and beauty, 45–46, 48 and fads, 34 African Americans violence against, 57–59 alcohol and drug use experimenting with, 85–87 pressure to, 82, 85–86, 94 reasons for, 86 research, 21, 87 rumors, 88 American Civil War draft, 57–58 anger, 55–70 out-of-control, 57–61 anorexia nervosa, 50 ANRED, 51 anti-achievement peer pressure, 71–72 Around the World in Eighty Days (Verne), 42 Around the World in SeventyTwo Days (Bly), 43 Attention deficit disorder (ADD), 79–80 Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (AHDD), 79–80 Aurelius, Marcus, 13

C Camus, Albert, 22 character traits, positive fortitude, 21, 28, 61 honesty, 20–21 integrity, 19, 91–92 Charlotte’s Web (White), 61 cheating, 77, 91 examples of, 78, 80–81 cigarette smoking bans, 85 and baseball players, 84–85 negative effects of, 83, 85, 87 positive images of, 83 pressure to, 17–18, 82–83, 87, 94 research, 17, 21, 83, 85 Civil Disobedience (Thoreau), 61 Civil Rights movement, 67 cliques, 22 audience members, 25 breaking down, 26 mean, 23–25 and reputations, 86–88 roles, 24–25

B Baugh, Eboni, 51 “Beauty . . . and the Beast of Advertising” (Kilbourne), 46 Bempechat, Janine, 71 Getting Our Kids Back on Track, 72 Be True to Yourself (Ford), 25–27, 54, 72 binge-eating disorder, 50 Bloom, Orlando, 80

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Index rules of, 24, 43 victims, 25 communication importance of, 69–70 online, 31 problems with, 31–32 confidence poor, 34 conflict examples of, 55–70 and problem solving, 56–57, 66, 70 steps to resolve, 66, 68–69 and violence, 55–57 conforming negative, 33 positive, 33 pressure to, 14, 35 to a look, 45–54 Confucius, 45

D Darley, John, 62 different, being, 35, 91 avoiding, 14, 34 direct peer pressure, 14, 43 dares, 89 Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, 45 Dr. Seuss, 89 dyslexia, 79

E eating disorders, 50–52, 54 and peers, 51 research, 51 eating disorder not otherwise specified (ED-NOS), 50 Einstein, Albert, 71 Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 55, 61, 95

F fads, 34, 43–44, 89 fashion, 47–49 conforming to, 14, 19 Fehres, Susan, 74–75

fitting in need to, 18–19, 86 and negative peer pressure, 17–19 pressure to, 14, 33–44 Ford, Amanda, 77 Be True to Yourself, 25–27, 54, 72 Franklin, Benjamin, 70 friends and advice, 16 and fitting in, 18 meeting new, 22 online, 30–31 positive, 94 support of, 19, 22, 32, 89–90, 94 variety, 25–27

G Gandhi, Mohandas Karamchand non-violent actions, 59–62 Gavenas, Mary Lisa, 46 gender roles, 41–43 Getting Our Kids Back on Track (Bempechat), 72 Getz, Stan, 83 Giannetti, Charlene C. The Roller- Coaster Years, 24, 50–51, 74 Gibson Girl look, 47–48 gossiping, 62, 66 Great Depression, 48

H Hall, Greg, 31 Horowitz, Sheldon H., 80 Houran, James, 30–31, 62 Hull House, 28

I identity expressing, 43 need for, 19, 35 India, 59 independence movement, 60–62

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HANDLING PEER PRESSURE Inspire Foundation’s Reach Out! program, 87 Institute of Medicine of the National Academy of Sciences, 83 internal peer pressure, 14, 30 examples of, 34, 43, 78, 88, 89

J Jewish people violence against, 63–64, 66 Johnson, Kevin, 54 Jones, Dylan, 49

K Kaiser Family Foundation, 46 Kant, Immanuel, 32 Keller, Helen, 73–74 Kennedy, John F., 61 Kilbourne, Jean, 34, 45 “Beauty . . . and the Beast of Advertising,” 46 King, Martin Luther, Jr., 59, 61 Knightley, Keira, 80

L Latane, Bibb, 62 learning disabilities, 79–80 Lickona, Thomas, 81 Lincoln, Abraham, 57

M Mayo Clinic, 82 McCabe, Don, 78 media beauty images, 45–49, 54 pressure, 51 and smoking, 83 stereotypes, 52 and violence, 56 Mexican-American War, 61 Miller, Elizabeth Smith and women’s clothing, 36, 38 Mix It Up at Lunch Day, 26 music tastes, 44

N National Center for Learning Disabilities, 80 National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, 86 national peer pressure, 46 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 85 Nazis, 63–64, 66 negative peer pressure, 57, 89 body’s reaction to, 16–17 standing up against, 90 at risk of, 24 Nemours Foundation, 52, 90, 94–95 New York City riots in, 57–58 Nikkah, John Our Boys Speak, 77

O Our Boys Speak (Nikkah), 77

P peace fixing conflicts with, 67–70 talks, 66 writing for, 61–62 peer defined, 13–14 peer influence, 15, 43 peer pressure balance, 19–20 decisions, 21 giving in to, 18–19 national, 46 overcoming, 21, 74–75, 89–95 problems dealing with, 18, 43, 46 in the real world, 13–21 research, 20, 30–31, 34, 44 under a microscope, 20–21 and weight, 49, 51 photoshopping, 48–49 plagiarism, 78, 81

Index popularity game, 22–32 online contest, 30–31 pressures, 30, 33, 35, 43, 86–87 positive peer pressure examples of, 14–17, 94 research, 15–16, 20 pressure in the classroom, 71–81

Q

Queen Bees and Wannabes (Wiseman), 22–23, 62

R

racism, 58 rebelling, 43–44, 72 Renfrew Center Foundation for Eating Disorders, 50–51 Rite of Spring, The (Stravinsky), 38 Roller-­Coaster Years, The (Giannetti and Sagarese), 24, 50–51, 74

S

Sagarese, Margaret The ­Roller-­Coaster Years, 24, 50–51, 74 Satter, Ellyn, 49 self-­confidence, 90–92, 94 self-­esteem building, 19, 92, 95 effects on, 48 low, 34 research, 34 social Web sites, 30, 62 Solter, Althea Tears and Tantrums, 56 South Africa apartheid, 67–68 Stanton, Elizabeth Cady, 36 Starr, Ellen Gates, 28 stereotypes, 75–76 breaking, 73–74, 79–80 ethnic, 76 female, 41–42

male, 41–42 media, 52 research, 75–76 Stravinsky, Igor riots at concert halls, 38 The Rite of Spring, 38 strict dieting, 51–52 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), 85, 90–91, 94 Sullivan, Anne, 73–74

T

Teaching Tolerance programs, 26 Tears and Tantrums (Solter), 56 teenage brain, 20 Thoreau, Henry David Civil Disobedience, 61 trailblazers, 35–36, 43 trends, 34–35 Tutu, Desmond, 67–69 Twain, Mark, 71

U

U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 82–83

V

Verne, Jules Around the World in Eighty Days, 42 violent problem solving, 55–58 words, 62–63

W

Wagner, Honus, 84 Wallenberg, Raoul, 63–64, 66 White, E.B. Charlotte’s Web, 61 Wiseman, Rosalind Queen Bees and Wannabes, 22–23, 62 women’s right, 36, 38 World War II, 63, 66

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND CONSULTANTS Kate Stevenson Clark experienced peer pressure like most people do and lived to tell the tale. She earned her bachelor’s degree in newspaper journalism from Syracuse University, and today is a freelance writer and editor based in Bern, Switzerland, where she specializes in nonfiction books for middle and high school readers. Series consultant Dr. Madonna Murphy is a professor of education at the University of St. Francis in Joliet, Illinois, where she teaches education and character education courses to teachers. She is the author of Character Education in America’s Blue Ribbon Schools and History & Philosophy of Education: Voices of Educational Pioneers. She has served as the character education consultant for a series of more than 40 character education books for elementary school children, on the Character Education Partnership’s Blue Ribbon Award committee recognizing K-12 schools for their character education, and on a national committee for promoting character education in teacher education institutions. Series consultant Sharon L. Banas was a middle school teacher in Amherst, New York, for more than 30 years. She led the Sweet Home Central School District in the development of its nationally acclaimed character education program. In 1992, Sharon was a member of the Aspen Conference, drafting the Aspen Declaration that was approved by the U.S. Congress. In 2001, she published Caring Messages for a School Year. She has been married to her husband, Doug, for 37 years. They have a daughter, son, and new granddaughter.

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