Fortune's Honor

FORTUNE’S HONOR

…She couldn’t see Clay, but she thought she could hear something in the back stall. A pause, then a thump , pause, thump. It was as rhythmic as breathing. Curious, she followed the sound, stepping between beams of light slanting through the roof. She found Clay in a small stall, stripped to the waist, a shovel in hand. The thump was the sound of manure and hay hitting the wheelbarrow as Clay methodically tossed each fresh load in a short arc. He had to have been up for hours. Sweat gleamed across his skin, each muscle outlined for any and all to see. She watched a single bead run down the side of his neck, detour when it hit his shoulder, and then continue downward, over his chest, around the nipple, and along abs that looked like they’d been carved from stone. A thin dark line of hair snaked down the middle of his navel, too, disappearing beneath the waistband of his jeans. He had no idea she was standing there. He worked with the freedom of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, knew exactly what he wanted, and Paige thought she’d never seen someone so intent on something so simple. Not even Ty looked like this when he was focused on his riding. It made her chest tighten and her breath quicken. Her quickening breath might have alerted him to her presence, because he looked up suddenly, pinning her with his

curious green eyes. An unexpected shiver of shame rolled through her, like he had caught her spying on something private, witnessing something she had no right to see. The moment came and passed quickly, and he buried the nose of the shovel in the soft ground at his feet. He leaned against the handle, his right toes resting behind his left heel, and favored her with a smile that put her back at ease. “I didn’t forget you.”

ALSO BY JAMIE CRAIG Calendar Boys January: Miami’s Perfect Weekend Keeping Time Master Of Obsidian Mosaic Moon Seduction In Black And White Unveiled

FORTUNE’S HONOR BY JAMIE CRAIG

AMBER Q UILL PRESS, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com

FORTUNE’S HONOR AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. Amber Quill Press, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. Copyright © 2008 by Pepper Espinoza & Vivien Dean ISBN 978-1-60272-190-2 Cover Art © 2008 Trace Edward Zaber

Layout and Formatting provided by: Elemental Alchemy

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

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CHAPTER 1 Clay wiped the dust from his mouth with his bandana, but his tongue still felt gritty and heavy. Water leaked from his irritated eyes, marking clear paths down his dirty cheeks. His shirt clung to him, scratchy and stiff against his shoulders, and a dull ache settled between his ears, throbbing with each step he took. In the fields, the cows bawled at each other, the incessant sound fading in the dusk. “Wanna lift, Boss?” Cody asked, his truck pulling even with Clay as he tramped down the dirt road. “No. I’m good.” “You sure? I don’t mind driving up to the house.” “No. Get home. I know Jan is waiting for you.” 1

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Cody beamed. “We’re going to the Grill tonight. A whole bunch of us. Why don’t you come out?” Clay waved him off. He wasn’t in the mood for dancing and drinking. Well, not the dancing. He was sure there were worse chores than branding, but he didn’t know what they were. There certainly wasn’t a job he hated more. After seven straight twelve-hour days, Clay was looking forward to a long, hot bath to soothe his sore muscles, a few stiff drinks, and about twelve hours of sleep. If he wanted to fit all that in before everything started again the next morning at five, he needed to get home. “Have a good weekend, Clay.” “You, too. Give Jan my best.” Cody waved, and the truck roared down the road, picking up a cloud of dust that settled on Clay’s skin and in his lungs. Sighing, he pushed forward, until he crested a small hill. The house was visible from the summit, still standing proud despite its age. His grandfather’s father had built the sprawling ranch house as a wedding gift for his second wife, and the modern pressures of the world hadn’t been enough to wrest it from the family. Even when his older brother Mark abandoned the ranch to follow a woman to Los Angeles, and his next brother, Brad, had abandoned the ranch to follow a woman to Houston, and Ryan had abandoned the ranch for the school building down the road, and Ty, the baby, had abandoned the ranch to chase his dream on the rodeo circuit, they never lost the house. Pride momentarily overcame his exhaustion as the setting 2

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sun cast orange and purple light over the endless green acres spreading in front of him. He always turned down Cody’s offer of a ride because of this moment. The moment when the world stopped, and a mellow breeze carried the aroma of grass and the cows and everything fresh. He needed to take a moment to enjoy the very thing he was busting his ass for every day. But the moment ended all too soon, and he sauntered down the hill and across the large yard to the front door. From the porch, he saw his mother’s light was already on, her body silhouetted against the window. She would be using the last rays of the sun to finish her cross-stitch for the day. Once she lost that valuable light, she would switch to something less straining on her eyes. By the time he was ready for bed, she would abandon everything involving sight in favor of listening to the baseball game, or talk radio, or anything she could pick up on the AM dial. Clay wished he had more time to give her. She was lonely. She missed her boys. She was old, and she didn’t understand why she had to spend every day in her bedroom, held there like some sort of captive. Clay had ventured the idea of hiring a nurse, or a maid, or somebody who would come in and play a game of bridge with her, but she balked at the idea, deeply offended. Clay pointed out he hired people to help him all the time, but she refused to see it was the same thing. He pushed the door open and stopped short. The first floor was bathed in light. The hallway, the living room, the kitchen. All of the lights were burning. 3

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Had Ryan stopped by? He usually called, like he needed an invitation to return to his own house. It’s your house now, Ryan would always say. I can’t just walk in like I own the place. It was Mama’s house, and all of her boys were welcome any time. But Ryan called anyway. Clay glanced into the empty kitchen and then turned into what his mother called the sun room. A tiny room with a south-facing window off the kitchen, Clay suspected it used to be a pantry, or maybe a servant’s room. It had been the sunroom his entire life, and she came downstairs in the morning when she was feeling strong enough, her tote bag clutched tightly. She only had so much time to finish her crafts; she didn’t like to waste a second. Clay stood in the doorway, wondering if his eyes were playing tricks, or if the sun had finally fried his brain. Did people hallucinate when they had strokes? Was he too young for a stroke? Clay cleared his throat. “Ma’am?” The young woman leapt from his mother’s chair, the book in her lap falling to the floor. She looked at him with wide eyes the shade of dark amber, slim fingers pleating the skirt of her green sundress. Dark blonde hair, streaked lighter by the sun, fell in careless waves to her waist, and faint freckles smattered across her bare arms. She couldn’t have been more than twenty-five, Clay reckoned. But that didn’t help in trying to figure out who she was. “Mrs. Putnam said the sun was best in here,” she rushed. 4

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Her voice was a soft alto, the accent most definitely not local. Someplace southern. “I’m not in the way, am I?” Clay hesitated a moment before a lifetime of training prompted him into action. Mama knew she was there, so maybe she belonged there? Were they expecting company? Clay didn’t think so, but he supposed it was possible. “No, of course not.” He offered his hand. “I’m Clay.” His name sparked an immediate response. Her brows shot up, and her gaze swept over him in another appraisal, before she took his proffered greeting. “Paige.” Clay blinked. “Paige.” He had hoped her name would jumpstart something in his memory, but he drew a blank. He had never even met another person named Paige. “I’m sorry, have we spoken before?” She pulled her hand back and resumed toying with her skirt. She was nervous; that was obvious. “No, but…Ty didn’t mention me?” “Oh, you belong to Ty.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. “I mean, no, he didn’t mention you, but I didn’t talk to him last time he called.” “Well, we haven’t been engaged that long, and this trip, well, it was kind of a last minute decision for me to come early. Ty’s not going to make it for another two weeks, but he thought it would be a good for me to have time to get to know his family.” Paige offered a small smile, her head ducking shyly. “And I’m in the way. I know. Mrs. Putnam didn’t realize I’d be coming either, but she was too nice to say so.” Engaged? Engaged? Clay briefly wondered if Ty even 5

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knew what the word meant. Commitment wasn’t his thing, much less a lifetime commitment. But, on second thought, if Ty was going to settle down with anybody, he could do worse than the creature standing before him, twisting her skirt between her fingers. “You’re not in the way,” he assured her quickly. “And Mama is always sure we’re prepared to host a whole battalion. I can show you to your room. Do you have any bags?” Paige nodded. “They’re in the front room. I wasn’t sure where else to put them.” Clay mentally downgraded his long hot soak into a much shorter shower and led her out of the sunroom. He had expected to find maybe a suitcase and maybe a travel bag, but there were six pieces—six large pieces—of luggage waiting for him. “How long were you planning to stay?” His tone must have been sharper than he’d intended because Paige colored, her skin pinking beneath her tan. “Ty said to pack for six weeks or so. That we’d leave after the Fourth celebrations. I think he thought since I’m out for the summer, it would be a good vacation for me.” Out for the summer…oh, God, please don’t let her be in high school. On the heels of that thought was another question. Did Ty plan to stick around for a month? During the height of the rodeo circuit? There was no way in hell he would be happy to stay on the ranch until the fourth. Did Ty expect him to entertain his girl and keep an eye on her? Did he expect Mama to do it? She was too weak to entertain anybody, much 6

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less a stranger. But first things first. “Oh, are you in school?” he asked as he began to gather the luggage. She slung the duffel over her shoulder and grabbed the handle of the pilot’s case. “No, I’m a special needs teacher. Elementary school level, but mostly kindergartners and first graders.” She smiled. “Kids are so sweet at that age.” If she had been in school, he would have been horrified, but not surprised. Now he was simply shocked. How had Ty found a woman with looks and brains? As much as the boy didn’t like commitment, he really didn’t like girls who could out-think him, or call him on his bullshit. Of course, he didn’t need to ask what she saw in his kid brother. He was a born charmer. “They are,” he agreed. “Not that I know many kids that age. Except my nephews. How did you meet Ty? You’re not his usual type.” She followed him up the stairs. “My baby brother loves the rodeo, and I take him every year it comes around. This year, it came around on his birthday, so as a surprise, I fixed it so he could watch with the press. Ty won his event, and we met when they were interviewing him afterward.” “I could whip him for not mentioning you sooner,” Clay said lightly, though he thought a good whipping was long overdue. Fifteen years overdue. “But that’s Ty. His heart’s in the right place, most of the time, but he can be a little thoughtless.” “Oh, I don’t know.” They came to a stop outside the guest 7

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room Ty always used when he came home, and he glanced down to see her shy smile. “I think having a good heart’s half the battle. Ty knows how scared I was about this. Maybe he thought it would be better for me if I got to make my own impression, instead of having to live up to whatever tall tales he decided to tell this week.” Clay didn’t know how to justify Ty’s behavior, but he wasn’t surprised Paige decided to go with the most kindhearted explanation. He smiled as he pushed the door open. “Maybe he did.” He set the bags down beside the large bed and pointed to the left. “The bathroom is that way, and my room is next door. If you need anything, feel free to ask.” He patted his leg and dirt flew up. “I’ve got to clean up, but there will be food in about an hour, I guess. Just some steak and biscuits, nothing fancy.” Amusement glinted in her amber eyes. “I’m a teacher. Anything that isn’t ramen constitutes fancy in my book.” Clay was struck by the way the last of the light reflected off her hair, and the way her wry smile made the skin between her eyes wrinkle. It took a few moments to realize she had said something, and another handful of seconds after that to process it. “Well, good. That’s good.” He began back to the door, trying to think of a way to make a graceful exit. “You know, I bet all of Ty’s friends would love to meet you. They tend to go to a place called the Grill on Friday nights. Do you want to go down there later? It’ll be better than sitting around here, probably. We don’t even have a television.” 8

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Paige caught her lower lip between her teeth as she weighed her response. “Would it be rude to ask not to do that tonight? I mean, I’m going to have plenty of time to meet Ty’s friends, and really, I’m good at keeping myself company.” A hint of her smile returned. “And you don’t want to be going out again tonight, I’m sure. Ty’s told me how hard you work to keep the ranch going. I’m not here to make your life any more difficult.” “No, not rude at all,” Clay said quickly, unable to hide his relief. He would have taken her out if she wanted, but he’d much rather stay in. He was closer to the door now, and he stepped out into the hallway. “Maybe I can tell you some embarrassing stories about Ty later instead.” “Maybe.” He was reaching for the doorknob, to close it behind him, when her soft voice called his name. Clay stopped and looked up again, and was again arrested by how she appeared in the soft light. It was no wonder she’d attracted Ty’s attention in the first place. “Thank you for not making me feel like an interloper,” she said. “I was worried about…fitting in. Ty talks about all of you so much, it can get a little intimidating.” Clay smiled. “You’re not an interloper. If you’re going to marry Ty, you’re family. And we always have room here for family. I’ll see you in an hour.” He shut the door gently behind him and went to his room, thoughts of a relaxing night completely forgotten. Oddly, he found he didn’t mind. Not much. He hadn’t been lying to her. 9

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She was welcome, even if he didn’t know quite what to make of her. *

*

*

The room was almost bigger than her Tulsa apartment. Paige hadn’t allowed herself to gape while Ty’s brother was still there, but as soon as he left and she heard the soft click of the door next door, she turned and stared at her temporary residence. It wasn’t the fact it was lavish that took her breath away, because it wasn’t. The heavy oak furniture—two dressers, nightstands, the queen-size bed, a corner desk—was clean in lines, free of adornment. The floor was natural wood, too, with a midnight blue throw lying at the foot of the bed, while a ceiling fan with white blades revolved in lazy circles, barely disturbing the warm spring air. No, what made Paige pause was the sheer spaciousness of it all. She was accustomed to the sweeping expanse of countryside that had greeted her in the ride from the airport; she had lived the first ten years of her life in a tiny Oklahoma town. But after her brother, Garrett, had been diagnosed in kindergarten with special needs, her parents had relocated the Murphy family closer to Tulsa. Life became a series of small, rented houses after that; every spare dime went to either Garrett’s needs or Paige’s education. Then there was college and even smaller rooms. Being on her own, teaching at a small private school in Tulsa, finally meant her own place, but city life was expensive and Paige was only a couple years out of 10

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college. Her apartment was tiny. So it was no wonder it took her nearly ten minutes to get comfortable enough to unpack. The Putnams, on the other hand, were exactly as she’d imagined. Next to bull riding, Ty’s favorite topic of conversation was his family, and the tales he wove about his childhood had enthralled her from their very first date. A fistful of boys, a house bounding with noise, roughhousing and traditions and loyalty that survived their father’s death, scattering to the winds, and Nora Putnam’s failing health. Ty had warned her she wouldn’t get to meet most of the brothers until the Fourth, but Clay was already living up to his reputation. Clay was the responsible one. The worker. The one who’d sacrificed his own dreams of bull riding to allow his more talented baby brother the chance to try his hand at the circuit. Paige wasn’t the least bit surprised her first introduction to Clay came with him all grungy and grimy from working the ranch all day. The way Ty told the story, the man never stopped. He was a veritable machine. At least he stopped for supper, though. Paige hadn’t said anything, but she was starving. Nerves and a turbulent flight had kept her from eating all day. All she’d had since waking up was water and a stale cookie. The steak Clay had mentioned sounded heavenly. The knock came at the door before she was finished unpacking. “Come in!” she called out from where she knelt in front of the dresser. 11

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Clay’s clothes were identical to what he wore before—a denim shirt and denim jeans—except clean. He had lost his hat, and his long dark hair was combed back from his face, still wet from his shower. He hadn’t bothered to shave, and a day’s worth of growth shadowed his cheeks and chin. Clay’s face was tan, creased with the wind, the sun, and the stress of the life he inherited. But his eyes were a vibrant, unexpected green, and despite the exhaustion she sensed from him earlier, he was smiling. “I thought I’d take you down to the kitchen. This place can be a bit of a maze, with a century of extensions and extra rooms.” The transformation in him was mesmerizing. It was obvious he was Ty’s brother; they had the same rangy build and long features. The shade of their eyes was different, but the most astonishing difference resided in their smiles. Ty was perpetually laughing, always ready with a quick retort and a sly wink. He kept Paige on her toes, and when he was in a room, it was very difficult not to get swept up in his enthusiasm. Clay’s smile was just as engaging, but the difference that made Paige stop and stare for a moment rested in its sincerity. Ty smiled to make the world notice him; she was suddenly sure Clay didn’t give a damn what the world thought. He smiled when he wanted to, and only then. That understanding made her respect him even more. She realized after several seconds he was waiting for a response of some kind. Shaking herself out of her trance, 12

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Paige turned back to the bottom drawer. “Let me just get this closed first. It’s sticking and won’t close properly.” Clay crossed the room. “Here, let me,” he said, bending at the waist to grip the handles. He moved with ease, like he had closed that drawer a million times before, and knew just when to tug, when to lift, and when to push. “Ty jammed something back there when he was ten. Never could figure out what, but Mama still doesn’t know about it.” The simple movement put their arms in contact with each other, the soft denim of his shirt sliding across her bare skin. This close, the color of his eyes was even more startling, and the clean scent of his soap filled her head. Paige turned her head in time to catch Clay looking at her, but then he was straightening and retreating for the door again, leaving her to smooth her skirt down as she stood up. “You’re going to have to show me that trick some time,” she said. “I can’t be calling on you whenever I need to get something out of there.” He stood at the door, waiting for her to step out in the hallway before saying, “That sort of thing will become like second nature.” Paige glanced up at him, curious. “What sort of thing?” “Fixing Ty’s mistakes.” His tone was so matter-of-fact, she knew he didn’t mean it in a mean-spirited way. “You say that like you’ve had to do it a lot,” she commented. Clay shrugged. “It’s been my unofficial job since trouble started looking for Ty. Around the time he learned to walk. I 13

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saved him from more than one meeting with Daddy’s belt.” She smiled. “Ty said he could always count on you. I guess now I know why.” Clay met her eyes, and then glanced away quickly. “Well, I know I can count on him, too.” He paused at the stairs, touching her shoulder briefly to stop her from descending. “Wait a sec. I’ve got to check in on Mama.” “I thought she was going to be eating with us.” “No. She doesn’t come down downstairs often. She…” Clay hesitated. “She feels comfortable in her room. She likes to eat in there.” The thought of Mrs. Putnam eating by herself saddened Paige. “Well, do we have to eat downstairs? I mean, it’s not right she should be eating alone. If she doesn’t mind the company, I can eat up here with her.” “It’s not that she would mind the company, it’s just…” He paused. “I’m sure she would appreciate the offer.” Clay knocked twice on the door closest to the landing, and then slowly pushed it open. Nora Putnam was sitting in a chair near the window, a small radio perched on the window sill. The sounds of the ranch settling down for the night competed with the low hum of the baseball game, and knitting needles moved rapidly in her fingers. “Mama, I was just about to start supper. Would you like some soup tonight?” “Yes, that sounds fine. Did you finish the branding today?” “Got the last calf done just before dusk,” Clay said, moving over to her side and bending to kiss her cheek. 14

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Paige didn’t know the details of Mrs. Putnam’s health problems, but the gentleness with which Clay treated her, like she was something precious, meant it was more serious than anything Ty had led her to believe. Carefully, she took a step into the room, waiting until Clay had straightened before speaking. “Thank you for letting me use your sunroom today, Mrs. Putnam,” she said with a soft smile. “You were right about the light being so pretty in there.” Nora returned her smile. “Isn’t it just lovely in there?” She set her knitting aside and covered Clay’s hand with her thin fingers. Paige noticed her skin was paper-thin, lined with spidery blue veins. “Remember when I used to take you boys in there on Sunday mornings to read the Bible?” Clay smiled. “I do, Mama. Maybe tomorrow you could show Paige the family Bible. I’m sure she’d love to see it.” “Or maybe tonight.” Paige took another step closer, though her hands strayed automatically to toy with her skirt. “If you’d like, I’d love to have dinner with you. I’m sure you have a ton of stories to tell.” “Oh, that’s very kind of you, dear. But I’m picking up a Rockies game tonight.” She didn’t offer further explanation, as though nothing more was necessary. Though Clay had warned her about the possibility, Paige was still disappointed at being turned down. “Tomorrow then,” she said, drawing back to the door. “I’ll be back up with your soup in a little bit. Do you want dessert tonight?” 15

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“Do we have applesauce?” “We do. I’ll bring a bowl of that, too.” Nora nodded and resumed knitting, her gaze drifting back to the window. She looked over the darkening horizon like she was waiting for something. Clay shut the door behind them, then offered Paige an apologetic smile. “Please don’t take it personally. She and Daddy would sit out on the back porch every night, all summer, and listen to games. I don’t think she even likes baseball that much, but it was something they did together for nearly forty years.” Paige nodded in understanding, and as they started down the stairs, she stole a glance back at the closed door. She was pretty sure Ty didn’t know how bad off his mother really was. If he had known, there was no way he wouldn’t be here. Neither of them spoke as he led her through the house, taking her directly to the kitchen. She hung back near the entry when he went to the refrigerator. “You’re not really going to make me watch while you do all the work getting dinner, are you?” she asked. “I know I joked about the ramen, but I can cook. Just tell me what you want me to do.” “Mama would tan my hide if I put a guest to work,” Clay said. He flashed her a quick grin. “So don’t tell her you shredded the chicken or chopped the onion.” He set a cooked chicken breast and a large white onion on the counter, before pulling out a pitcher of what looked like chicken stock. “We just need to warm this for her supper. I wish she’d eat something with more substance, but most of the time she 16

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claims this is too much for her.” Paige smiled as she joined him at the counter and picked up the onion. “Just tell her I’m family, not a guest.” She went to the sink and turned on the cold water, holding the onion under it as she peeled away the outer skins. “What do the doctors say?” Clay pulled two steaks out of the fridge and stripped off the butcher paper. “There’s not a cure for old age and a broken heart.” Her hands faltered. It was both the saddest and most romantic thing she’d ever heard. “I wish I’d had the chance to know Mr. Putnam now,” she said softly. Clay offered a small smile. “Daddy would have liked you, I think. He always thought Ty needed a good woman to settle him down. He probably would have seen you as an answer to all his and Mama’s prayers.” A blush rose to her cheeks, and Paige ducked her head as she started to chop the onion. She loved Ty, but somehow, having this outside affirmation from a man who’d only met her that afternoon warmed her even more than the multitude of compliments Ty was always drowning her in. Maybe it was because Ty’s were always about how good she looked, which was nice not to mention necessary sometimes. But her appearance had never been what Paige was about. She got the feeling Clay understood that. She just wasn’t sure how.

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CHAPTER 2 Clay rode his gelding, Dan, right up to the front steps of the house, leading a small white mare behind him. The quiet Sunday morning was punctuated by the horses calling to each other, and the birds twittering in the trees surrounding the house. Paige was waiting for him on the swing hanging from the porch, and he couldn’t help but notice she wasn’t wearing a skirt. She had dressed for their morning ride in a pair of tight jeans and a soft green western shirt that accented her eyes. He had already spent more time than he should admiring her figure, but now it was all he could do to keep from staring. “Paige, this is Sugar.” He dismounted and offered Sugar’s reigns. “I didn’t know how much experience you had.” 18

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“Not a lot before I met Ty,” she confessed. Her small hand smoothed down Sugar’s neck, but in the next breath, she was hooking her foot into the stirrup and swinging into the saddle, coiling the reins around her wrist as she smiled down at Clay. “But he’s taught me a lot.” “How long have you known Ty?” Clay asked, lifting himself into the saddle. “I can’t imagine he was happy to spend a lot of time in any one place. He’s got itchy feet.” “About eight months.” She guided Sugar into a slow walk next to him, and they set down the path. “He took me out the night we met, and then showed up in town again the following weekend. It was just every once in awhile until about Christmas time. But then he showed up at my parents’ house and kissed me under their mistletoe before he’d said hello, and that was pretty much it. After that, he’d show up on my doorstep whenever he got a break, and I’d take my weekends to go see him if he was close enough.” Something squirmed in Clay’s chest. Irritation, most likely. Ty had spent the last eight months falling in love, proposing, preparing to settle down, and as far as Clay knew, he never said a word to anybody. Paige’s mere presence in the house seemed to have a positive effect on Mama. Didn’t he think she would have liked to know her youngest was happy, was ready to settle down? “Yeah, that sounds like Ty.” Dan nickered and tossed his head, trying to pull away from the bit. Clay reached forward to scratch between his ears and turned him toward the narrow trail that skirted the perimeter of the ranch. He didn’t have 19

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time to take her on the full loop, but he thought she would enjoy the view it offered. “Are you comfortable in your room? Do you need anything?” “Everything is wonderful,” she said. For a minute, the only sound was of the hooves on the dry earth, and then Clay heard Paige take a breath in order to speak again. “It’s just that…” When he glanced back, she was studiously not looking in his direction. Her fingers were coiling around the loose straps of the reins. “It’s a little big. I’m not used to it yet. I know you grew up there and all, but…I don’t know how you and Mrs. Putnam do it. All by yourselves in that big old house. I think I would get lonely, if I were you.” Clay rested his hands on the saddle horn and swallowed hard. “It used to be full. Me, Mark, Ty, Ryan, Brad, and Daddy. Plus most of the hands. Plus all our friends from school, and Mama’s friends from church, and their kids. Somebody was always visiting. Now everything is so quiet. Every day, nothing but the same silence.” “That doesn’t seem right. The house was made for family. Haven’t you ever thought of getting married yourself?” Clay always assumed he’d get married, eventually. Maybe he’d meet somebody on the circuit, like Ty met Paige. Or maybe he’d marry Rose McGovern, his high school sweetheart. One way or the other, he thought it would have happened by now. But life seemed to have other plans for him. “No,” he lied. “I think that’s a shame. A man like you…do you know how many women would sell their soul to meet someone even 20

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half as decent as you, Clay?” Now she dared to look at him, her eyes oddly intense. “You shouldn’t give up. You deserve every ounce of happiness you can get.” “I am happy,” Clay said quietly. “Look at this.” He gestured widely with his arm. “I might be lonely at night, but I knew what I was doing when I sent Ty on his way and chose to stay. This place, it’s a part of the family, too.” Her head turned, her gaze sweeping over the green hills. It put her fine features in profile, allowing Clay a rare moment to look at her unimpeded. Against the stark morning light, she looked both younger and older—fresh and artless, serene and knowing—and he wondered yet again why Ty had kept her a secret for long. If he were Ty— “I think it’s beautiful.” Her reverent tone scattered his thoughts. “But I still think it would be more so if you weren’t alone.” “It is,” he said, before he could catch himself. “I mean, having you here is…” He sought for a way to save himself, ease his embarrassment, but he couldn’t find the right word. “Nice.” A small smile curved her mouth, and she nudged Sugar into a slightly faster pace. “So, what do you do when I’m not around? You mentioned that place the other night where everybody hangs out. Do you turn into the life of the party when everybody’s back is turned?” Clay laughed. “No, no. Running this takes pretty much all my time. And taking care of Mama. I’m pretty boring, actually, unless you’re fascinated by breeding stock and 21

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rotating feeding schedules.” “You have to do something fun.” She waited for a response, but when he simply gave her a bemused shake of his head, her brow furrowed in concentration. “Well, what about bull riding? Ty said you used to ride.” Clay knew she didn’t mean to, but she was picking at scabs that hadn’t quite healed over. “No, bull riding is a young man’s sport.” He nodded at a distant herd of horses. “I still break the colts myself. Which is good for a thrill.” Her frown didn’t ease. “You’re hardly old. You look better than most guys my age or younger.” Clay’s brows furrowed. She noticed how he looked? Did she notice every detail of his appearance the way he was keeping track of hers? No, probably not. “Thank you for the compliment, but I’ll be thirty-five next month, and that’s much too old to get on the back of a bull for kicks.” “Thirty-five? Really?” She stared at him for a long moment before shifting her attention back to the track. “Huh.” “Huh, what?” Paige shrugged. “I just…you look younger. And I wasn’t kidding about being in good shape. You could give most guys at the rodeo a real run for their money.” Clay resisted the urge to preen at her compliments. He knew she was being nice, because she was a nice person. And there was a kernel of truth to what she said. Rodeo cowboys were in great shape, but traveling on the circuit and working seven days a week on a ranch were two different things. “You look great for your age.” He froze, realizing what he 22

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had said. He may not have any sisters, but he knew enough women to know for your age should never be added to any sentence, regardless of how innocent. “I mean, you look great.” Which didn’t help his situation, because he shouldn’t have been looking. “Ty’s a lucky guy.” “Does it bother you?” Her startling question was enough to distract him from his misspoken words, and when Clay paused too long to respond, she elaborated, “That I’m older than Ty.” “Oh, God, no. When you said you were a teacher, I was relieved you weren’t still in high school.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and wondered if he should stop speaking. “Not that Ty picks up on underaged girls.” Often. But the glimmer of understanding in her eyes told him she knew what he’d meant. “Ty doesn’t like to be alone,” Paige said. “The more people he has around him, the happier he is. I think that’s why I was so surprised when he proposed.” “Because you didn’t think he’d be ready to tie himself to one person?” “Maybe because he thinks he’s ready to tie himself to me.” Her mouth opened as if there was more she wanted to say, but then she was shaking her head and looking away again. “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t be talking about this with you.” Clay slowed his horse so that they were riding abreast. “I don’t see anybody else around here.” Her soft sigh was accompanied by her hand reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ear. “I love Ty, I really do. And I didn’t hesitate to say yes when he asked me to marry him.” A rueful smile curved her lips. “Not that he gave me 23

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much chance to say anything else. But I think he wants me to give up teaching after we’re married and follow him around on the circuit like the other wives.” Clay understood. Ty would be confused to think anybody could resist the glamorous life of the rodeo circuit. And he was too self-centered to realize why giving up her job would be difficult for Paige. But he was young, and maybe Paige’s influence would help him mature. “Have you talked to him about that yet?” “No. Which probably makes me a coward, but he’s been so excited about everything, I get dragged into it before I realize what’s going on, and then he’s gone again and I realize I didn’t bring it up again.” Clay shook his head. “You need to be firm with Ty. He needs a strong hand. Sometimes you got to make him listen.” “Do you think it’s selfish I don’t want to quit?” Clay wondered if Ty had accused her of being selfish, or if this anxiety had a different genesis. “No. You seem like one of the least selfish people I’ve met. Besides, nobody in their right mind wants to live on the circuit.” “You wanted it, once upon a time.” “You haven’t learned yet that there’s not a cowboy alive in his right mind?” She laughed then, and some of her sober mood dissipated. “Well, you’ve got the most right mind of any cowboy I’ve ever met, Clay Putnam.” He caught her glancing at him through her lashes and could have sworn a fresh pink rose in her cheeks before she turned her head away. “Do you mind if 24

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we stop for a bit? I’ve never ridden this long before at one time. My poor bottom doesn’t know what to make of it.” “If you can stand five more minutes in the saddle, I know a good place to stop.” She nodded, and he led the horses off the trail. He didn’t need a trail to know where he was going, of course. He knew every single inch of the land, and could navigate through the ranch with a blindfold. Even before he became its de facto caretaker, he treated each blade of grass like it was his, something to be explored and understood and known. He led her through a field, passing one of the larger herds of cows. The bull bellowed at them, and Paige tensed beside him, but the beast didn’t make any other attempts to scare them off. The field gave way to low hills, and he led her up and over one of the crests to a small indentation, a dimple in the hills. There was a tree at the bottom of the gentle slope, and water from the spring runoff pooled there, creating a small clear pond. He kept a block of salt there for an artificial salt lick, and some dawns he could ride out and watch all manners of creatures scurrying for a morning drink or swim. When they came to a stop, Paige slid out of the saddle, groaning when her feet hit the ground. “I am so not in shape for this,” she said, rubbing a hand over her ass. “It’s a good thing I’ve got a couple weeks to build my stamina before Ty comes. He’s going to tip over laughing at me if I can’t keep up.” Clay’s gaze was drawn to her ass, and he found himself wishing she’d wear jeans every day. They were very kind to 25

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her. The skirts she seemed to favor hid rather than accented her attributes, which Clay realized, was probably for the best. Otherwise, he knew he’d be gawking at her constantly. “You’re welcome to go riding any time you like. And if he tips over laughing at you, he’ll have to answer to me.” Oblivious to his eyes on her, Paige wandered up the small rise to stare out over the land. “I’m going to get lost if you’re not with me. But I’m beginning to realize there are a lot worse places to be lost than here.” Clay joined her. “You’re not going to get lost. Just remember the house was built on the southern edge of the property line. If you ever get confused, ride south. I don’t know if you can see it, but there’s an old fence falling down…” He pointed to the far distance, and she leaned in, trying to follow the line of his finger. The back of her shoulder was against his chest, and a few stray strands of hair tickled his chin. “Keep it on your right.” Without leaning away, she tilted her head to the side in order to look back at him. “Could you go out with me the first time or two? Just until I get my bearings.” His first thought was to kiss her. His second thought was to push her away, put as much space between the two of them as possible, maybe even tell her she couldn’t stay at the ranch and send her packing. He didn’t have the time for leisurely rides through the ranch. They were going to start preparing for the drive to summer pastures this week, and for the first time in fifteen years, he wouldn’t be accompanying the herd. He couldn’t leave Mama behind on her own. 26

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“Yeah, we can take a few morning rides,” he finally said, standing as if frozen. A slow, appreciative smile warmed her eyes. “Thanks,” she murmured. She wasn’t moving, either, and he was slowly becoming aware of the heat seeping from her body. “What time do you get up? I’m guessing early.” “Five. But I don’t expect you to get up that early. I usually eat breakfast at seven. Maybe you can meet me in the stables around seven-thirty?” “Seven-thirty,” she repeated, her smile growing more brilliant. “It’s a date.” “A date,” Clay echoed softly. An entirely innocent term. He had a standing date with the veterinarian, and Mama’s doctor, and the blacksmith. But his fingers itched to touch her shoulder, the curve of her hip, the nape of her neck, and he knew his eagerness to spend time with her was not innocent. Even the reminder that Paige was his baby-brother’s fiancée was not enough to quell the desire to be close to her, to know her like he knew the land.

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CHAPTER 3 Though her body was still sore from the ride on Sunday, Paige woke up Monday morning before her alarm was set to go off, pushing back the blankets and bounding from the bed with energy usually reserved for first day of school excitement. Today, she was going to go exploring. With Clay as her initial guide. The reality of the ranch had made all the stories Ty had told her come to life, and now, she wanted to see its secrets with her own eyes. She rushed through her shower and getting dressed. She slipped on her other pair of jeans and made a mental note to wash the other pair that afternoon. Better yet, she should ask Clay about taking a trip into town to buy some more. She 28

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wasn’t allowed to wear jeans for school, and only owned the two pair. Until now, two had been sufficient. But it wouldn’t do for another five weeks on the ranch, especially if she was going to go horseback riding every day. Tucking in the peach print shirt she’d selected, Paige slipped out of her room and headed downstairs. Clay had said he had breakfast at seven; she’d woken early enough to join him today. They could eat, and then they could walk down to the stables together, and she’d get him to talk some more about the ranch and his life there. She liked listening to the sound of his voice. It was low and melodic, and in spite of his obvious discomfort around her sometimes, he spoke with a gentle authority that commanded her attention. He was commanding her attention a lot. And not always when he was speaking. The kitchen was deserted when she got there, and Paige frowned as she looked around. Had she messed up the time? She was pretty sure she hadn’t. The scent of coffee still lingered in the air, and there was a single cup sitting on the dish rack. Clay had obviously already been through there. I’m not the only one up early today, she thought as she opened the back door. The morning light was pale and crisp, but the day was already warming as the sun licked across the horizon. Briefly, Paige debated going back into the house and changing into a T-shirt, then decided against it. She would be back before the sun was high overhead. Her ass wasn’t going to let her stay out any longer than that. 29

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Though she was still excited about the upcoming ride, her pace slowed as she approached the stables. The more time she spent at the ranch, the more beautiful it became. The world stretched out around the house for miles and miles, only broken by the rise of tall, green trees and the slopes of rolling hills. The scent of fresh earth mingled with the distinctive smell of livestock, as if the world wanted to remind her it was alive. It was easy to forget all this in the middle of the city, when she was rushing down sidewalks in shoes that were less than practical with exhaust from all the passing cars filling her nose. Maybe leaving her job might not be so bad. Maybe if she could convince Ty to take time off during the year to stay at the ranch, she could tolerate being dragged from town to town when he was riding. There was a town nearby; she might even be able to teach part-time. With renewed hope in her heart, she slipped in through the open stable doors. Clay had told her to talk to Ty about it; the next time he called, she was going to do just that. Sugar and Dan were tied to a rope outside the tack room, but neither was saddled. She couldn’t see Clay, but she thought she could hear something in the back stall. A pause, then a thump, pause, thump. It was as rhythmic as breathing. Curious, she followed the sound, stepping between beams of light slanting through the roof. She found Clay in a small stall, stripped to the waist, a shovel in hand. The thump was the sound of manure and hay hitting the wheelbarrow as Clay methodically tossed each 30

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fresh load in a short arc. He had to have been up for hours. Sweat gleamed across his skin, each muscle outlined for any and all to see. She watched a single bead run down the side of his neck, detour when it hit his shoulder, and then continue downward, over his chest, around the nipple, and along abs that looked like they’d been carved from stone. A thin dark line of hair snaked down the middle of his navel, too, disappearing beneath the waistband of his jeans. He had no idea she was standing there. He worked with the freedom of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, knew exactly what he wanted, and Paige thought she’d never seen someone so intent on something so simple. Not even Ty looked like this when he was focused on his riding. It made her chest tighten and her breath quicken. Her quickening breath might have alerted him to her presence, because he looked up suddenly, pinning her with his curious green eyes. An unexpected shiver of shame rolled through her, like he had caught her spying on something private, witnessing something she had no right to see. The moment came and passed quickly, and he buried the nose of the shovel in the soft ground at his feet. He leaned against the handle, his right toes resting behind his left heel, and favored her with a smile that put her back at ease. “I didn’t forget you.” “I didn’t think you had.” Sticking her hands in her back pockets, she ventured a step closer. “Do you always muck out the stables before breakfast?” 31

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Clay wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. “Sometimes. I came in here to get Sugar and I noticed Tony didn’t do it on Friday.” He tossed another shovel’s worth of manure and straw into the barrow, and then set the shovel against the wall. “Did Ty show you how to saddle a horse?” Paige shook her head. It was hard not to stare when his every movement drew attention to a new muscle. She halfwanted to ask him to put his shirt back on, but the other half that was enjoying the view quashed the urge. “Are you going to need to shower?” she asked, and then immediately regretted it. It brought up images of Clay under the water, that dark line of hair wet and tempting as it led downward. Her shame returned in a rush. This was her fiancé’s brother. The last thing she should be thinking about was getting on her knees and helping him wash up. “Wouldn’t make sense to shower now. Still got a whole day of work ahead of me.” He paused and sniffed under his arm. “Do I stink?” She stifled the desire to close the distance between them and check up close and personal in favor of turning it into a joke. “I’m standing in the middle of a stable. No matter what, you’re going to be the best smelling thing in it.” His eyes lingered on her. “No, I’m not.” Clay turned before she responded and left the stall, leaving her to follow him back to the tack room. Straps of golden light fell across his shoulders and the back of his neck. Dust clung to his skin, and he brushed it away from his arms. 32

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Her eyes followed the long sweep of his hands, but when he kept missing one patch on the back of his bicep, Paige stepped up behind him. “Here. Let me.” He stiffened the second before her fingers touched his skin, holding perfectly still while she swiped away the stubborn grit. Though she didn’t look up at him, she felt his gaze boring down at her, watching her hands glide over his muscle before she finally pulled back. “That should be all of it.” “Thanks,” he said hoarsely. He stepped away, and she didn’t miss the way his hand clenched at his side. His shirt was hanging on a nail near the saddles, and she couldn’t look away as he shrugged it on. “Cody mentioned this morning that Jan would be happy to come by and keep you company. She can take you to town, too. If you’d like.” Paige wracked her brain, but couldn’t place the names Clay rattled off. “Who are Cody and Jan?” He began to button his shirt, his long fingers moving quickly. “Oh, Cody is our horse wrangler. Jan is his girlfriend. I went to school with the two of them. I think you’ll like Jan, and I don’t like the thought of you being alone all day.” His consideration was warming, and Paige smiled in gratitude. “Going into town would be great, actually. Otherwise, I’m going to be doing laundry an awful lot.” Clay hoisted a saddle down from the wall and carried it over to Sugar. He lifted it onto the mare’s back easily. “Come here, I’ll show you how to adjust the straps.” He lifted the 33

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stirrup over the back. “Don’t you have enough clothes?” “You’d think, having six suitcases, I would,” Paige joked as she stepped up to Sugar. “But actually, three of those cases were full of presents. And I only own two pairs of jeans. If I’m going to be riding every day like I want, I need at least one more.” “At least,” he murmured. “The important thing to remember about the cinch is you don’t want it too loose, or you’ll end up on her stomach. You don’t want it too tight either, because that’ll hurt her.” He gripped the leather strap and pulled it through the buckle, up to the fourth eyelet. “There, see?” He freed the cinch and stepped back. “Now you try.” The leather was thicker than she expected, and Paige fumbled a bit trying to slip it through. Once it was in, though, it was easy to mimic Clay’s instructions, and she beamed up at him when she was done. “Why did Ty make me think it’s so hard then?” she asked. Clay reached under the horse and grasped the second leather strap. “This is a good saddle and a good mare to learn on. Here, don’t forget this one.” Paige bent down and repeated what she’d learned. Her arm brushed against Clay’s, but she forced back the sudden swell that came at the contact. This wasn’t right. The last thing she needed right now was to be thinking of him as anything but a future brother-in-law. Wanting to touch him, wanting to taste, wanting more, were all very high on the list of Things Not To Do When You’re Engaged To His Brother. It had to be 34

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because of resemblance to Ty, she reasoned. And the fact that she hadn’t seen Ty in over two weeks. She was responding to Clay out of reflex and loneliness. She straightened and found herself locked in his bright green gaze. And maybe out of just a little bit of lust for a really attractive man. “You know, if you need to work, I can go by myself,” she said in a rush. “It was selfish of me to ask in the first place.” Clay ducked beneath Sugar’s head and secured the belt between her forelegs. “I don’t mind taking you if you’re worried about getting lost.” “Just head south, right?” The more she thought about it, the better she thought it was that she get some distance from Clay. “And it’s Monday. You’re going to have a ton of work. Don’t worry about me.” “Yeah. South. Or if you follow the trail we started yesterday, it’ll take you around the ranch. It’ll take you most of the morning, but it’s an easy ride, and Sugar has done it a million times. In fact, if you get lost, you could probably just give her her head, and she’ll bring you back to where the food is.” He slipped the bridle over the horse’s ears and pushed the bit past her teeth. “Sounds like a plan.” As soon as Clay stepped back from Sugar, Paige grabbed the horn and swung up into the saddle. “Are you going to come up to the house for lunch?” “Yeah. Twelve sharp. I’ll expect to see you then.” She bit back the instant it’s a date that sprang to her lips. It 35

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was one of those phrases she used all the time without thinking, but now, in this context, it made her uncomfortable. Because this was Clay, not Ty. And she needed to stop considering what a date with him would be like. “I’ll be there with bells on,” she said instead, and cast him a wide smile as she spurred Sugar toward the exit. The day was calling. She planned to embrace it. *

*

*

“Hey, have you seen Paige?” Clay asked Cody as he led a young filly from the paddock to the stables. “No. I wasn’t looking for her.” Clay frowned. “She went out on Sugar this morning, and I expected her to be back by now.” “You let her go out on her own? Without a map or anything?” Cody shook his head. “What were you thinking? Fuck, I still get lost once a week.” Clay didn’t need to be reminded how easy it was to get turned around and disoriented on the ranch. Especially if she broke away from the homestead and started exploring the further pastures. “Well, keep an eye out for her, okay?” “Maybe she just went right to the house,” Cody suggested. “Maybe.” But he didn’t feel optimistic. He shouldn’t have let her go off on her own. Why had he agreed? Because he was scared of spending time with her? Because he was afraid of his own reaction when she touched him? Because he didn’t want to risk losing control? He was a grown man, not some teenage 36

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kid. Not Ty. He had self-control. Paige wasn’t at the house, and there was no sign of her anywhere. He paused long enough to ask Mama if she had seen Paige at all that morning, but she barely responded. He sighed. It wouldn’t do any good. Paige could have spent the whole morning with her. When Mama was in this sort of mood, she tended to completely zone out from the world. When he hurried back to the barn, he found Cody already had Dan saddled up. “I figured just in case,” he explained as he tossed the reins to Clay. “Thanks,” he said, pulling himself onto the horse. He paused long enough to whistle for his dog, Marty, and then kicked the horse into a gallop. Marty, excited by the new adventure, ran within inches of Dan’s hooves, barking and yelping with glee. Clay knew he probably didn’t have anything to worry about. He’d be able to track her, and it was highly doubtful she found any trouble. What if she broke her neck? He frowned and forced the voice at bay. He hated that voice. It was the same voice that kept him up at nights with niggling questions about Mama, about Ty, about the ranch. What if, what if, what if. There were too many possibilities. He needed to focus on the reality and not grim predictions and fantasies. Clay followed her tracks along the trail, but she broke off from it about a mile from the house, making a sudden turn east. There were several groves of trees on that side of the property, not to mention wild animals, and the occasional stray 37

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cow. He understood her attraction to the area, but he also knew all about the hidden dangers. He swallowed around a dry lump in his throat and followed Marty at a trot. He saw Sugar first, grazing near a grove. She looked up curiously as he approached, but the reins hanging loose on her neck made his heart gallop. Where was Paige? And why had she left Sugar? Several yards ahead, Marty barked and disappeared into the grove, and Clay pushed Dan faster to follow. He was about to dismount and go after Marty on foot when Paige’s voice split the air. “Clay? Is that you?” He looked up, confused. Her voice was clearly coming from above him, but he couldn’t see her. Clay dismounted and moved closer to the trees. “Where are you?” There was a pause. “Look up. To your left. Wait. Your right.” He followed her directions and spotted her almost immediately. It was nearly impossible to hide his amusement—she looked like a little girl stuck in a very big tree. “How did you get up there?” Even from that distance, he saw her roll her eyes. “I flew, what do you think? But I stopped to stretch my legs, and then there was this moose, and all I wanted was to get away from it. Don’t laugh at me.” “I won’t laugh,” he promised, even as his lips twisted. “There isn’t a moose now. Why don’t you come down from there?” 38

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“I can’t.” Her voice suddenly got very quiet. “I’m stuck. I’m afraid to let go.” Clay stepped back and tried to gauge the distance between her and the ground. It was probably about ten feet—he remembered jumping from heights greater than that with Mark and Brad. He also remembered getting very angry when Ty tried similar dives from roofs and the tops of trees. He had a feeling she wouldn’t be willing to let go just because he told her to jump. “Okay, Paige, don’t worry. I’m going to get you down.” “Don’t make me jump.” Now there was panic in her tone. “Please, Clay. Heights really scare me. I don’t even know how I got up here.” She laughed, though it was a nervous, brittle sound. “I guess I’m more scared of getting eaten by a moose than I am of plummeting to my death.” Clay’s heart twisted. He couldn’t remember the last time he heard genuine fear. Not like that. He laughed thinly to mask his concern. “A moose wouldn’t eat you, sweetheart. They’d just trample you to mincemeat.” He circled the tree, looking for a good place to start climbing. “Now, hold still. Nobody is going to jump anywhere.” Broken bark showed where Paige had found her footholds, and Clay followed in her path, swinging his leg over the lowest branch he thought would support his weight. It gave him a minute to figure out what move to make next, and when he looked up to the higher branch Paige still clung to, he was met with her wide, dark eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. 39

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“Just promise me you won’t fall out of the tree and break that pretty neck of yours, and we’ll let bygones be bygones,” Clay said, relieved she seemed to have a death grip on the branch. The next branch he was forced to take wasn’t as strong, but it didn’t break under his weight as he gained another foot, and then two. “How are you doing?” She turned her head to watch his progress, and a strand of dark blonde hair fell over her eyes. With a frustrated exhalation, she blew it up and out of the way, only to have it settle stubbornly back. “My stomach keeps growling,” she confessed. “Did I miss lunch?” “Yes, it’s about an hour past.” He was almost within touching distance now, the bark rough against his palms and slick beneath his boots. He made a mental note to toe them off the next time he rescued Paige from a tree. “And you didn’t eat breakfast this morning, either.” Maybe if she was talking to him, she wouldn’t think about how far away the ground was. “I almost think I could eat a few leaves if I wasn’t so terrified of letting go to grab them.” “Oh, don’t do that. These leaves are nasty. Worse than broccoli even.” He crawled up the side of the tree until he reached a thick, sturdy limb just below the branch she was perched on. He balanced his weight on the limb, gripping the other bough above him tightly. “I can’t get any closer now. You’re going to have to slide down.” Clay offered his arm. “I’m not going to let you fall. I promise.” Her eyes darted from his outstretched hand, to the ground, 40

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and then to his face. Up close, her features were white and pinched. Paige was even more terrified than she’d let on in her voice. “It’s a very good thing I saw all those muscles of yours this morning,” she said. “Because that is the only way I’d ever believe you right now.” Carefully, she inched her grip forward until her knuckles grazed across his shirt. Paige took a deep breath. Then she took another one. Her eyes closed for a moment. She was summoning every ounce of courage she had to do what he asked. The second he felt her weight shift from where she let go, his arm shot out and curved around her back, tugging her hard against his body. Paige cried out in panic, and her hands clutched at his shirt. The branch, thankfully, held firm beneath both of them. “See?” he said, his voice soft, like he was trying to soothe a skittish colt. “You’re fine. We’ll be down before you know it. Now, I want you to reach up and take the branch. I’m going to turn and face the trunk. When I tell you to, I want you to wrap your arms around me. It’ll be easier to go down if you’re on my back.” The wild thumping of her heartbeat was palpable through both their shirts, but Paige nodded anyway, taking another breath before doing as he’d instructed. Clay kept a careful eye on her as he shifted his position, and as soon as he could, he called to her softly. In the very next second, her arms were around his neck, her face buried against his shoulder. 41

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Going down was about a hundred times more difficult than the trip up, especially with Paige clinging to him, but he knew they would make it down. There was no other option, because as she trembled against him, he knew without a doubt he would never let anything happen to Paige. “Just stay still,” Clay murmured. “Move with me so you don’t throw off the balance.” She barely nodded her head, but it was enough for Clay to know she heard him. Very carefully, he stepped off the branch and began to descend. The muscles in his shoulders, back, and thighs strained with the effort, and he called on every bit of strength he had—and every bit he remembered having a decade earlier when he used to spend nearly sixteen hours a day training to ride bulls. The only sound she made was when his toe missed a hold and they slipped an inch before he caught the tree again. Then she whimpered, a sound so small he wouldn’t have heard it at all if he wasn’t so aware of everything about her. It strengthened his resolve, and he managed the final few feet without a waver. He could very easily go the rest of his life without ever hearing that sound again. The moment his foot touched solid earth, Paige slid down his back. She collapsed to the ground, huddled on her hands and knees while all the ragged breaths she’d kept in came out in shudders that wracked her slim body. “I’m sorry,” she rasped. Her hair hung down, curtaining her face from view, but her white knuckles were all that was visible where she fisted the grass. “I’m so, so sorry.” 42

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Clay hesitated, unsure of what to do now. He had rescued his brothers from a few tight spots, but in the aftermath, when there was nothing but shaking hands and raw nerves, a punch to the shoulder and a gruff, “I’ll kill you if you ever pull that shit again” was comfort enough. He didn’t think rough, but loving, words would be enough for her. He knelt beside her, his arm going around her shoulders awkwardly. “No, you’re fine. We both made it down in one piece.” The speed at which she turned to him took Clay by surprise, and he fell back on his ass as she threw her arms back around his neck. “Thank you,” she whispered. Her voice was muffled against his skin, but he felt every movement of her mouth as she spoke. It sent a shiver rattling down his spine. “For not laughing at me, for getting me down.” She snorted. “For not telling this sorry city girl to pack her bags and go home because she doesn’t belong here.” Clay hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around her, holding her as tight as she held him. “I wouldn’t tell you to pack your bags,” he murmured. “Just think of it as a learning experience. You learned a moose won’t eat you, you learned not to climb a tree. You learned if you do climb trees, I’ll be here to get you.” The last made her peel away, separating from him with a hesitation he felt in his bones. Her dark eyes searched his, but she didn’t move any further from his lap. “Please don’t tell Ty what I did.” Clay didn’t have any intention to, but curiosity prompted 43

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him to ask, “Why?” “Because he will laugh. He thinks it’s silly to be scared of heights.” Paige shook her head. “He’s never been afraid of anything, I don’t think. He doesn’t understand what it’s like.” Clay laughed now. “Oh, yeah, he’s not scared of anything. Except snakes. And chickens. And water that’s more than three feet deep.” Her brows shot up. “He’s scared of chickens? Is that why I can’t get him to eat it? He told me it made him sick as a kid.” Clay had promised Ty he would never share his secret with anybody. But he didn’t regret going back on his word—at least she wasn’t thinking of the damned tree any more. “When he was little, around five or six, it was his job to feed the chickens and gather the eggs. The hens pecked his hands, and a rooster attacked him once. Apparently, it was so traumatic, he could never get over it.” He smiled. “I won’t tell him about this, but now you know how to shut him down if ever finds out.” “Chickens.” She repeated the word with a shake of her head. The distraction was enough to finally pull her out of his lap, though she wobbled a little as she stood up. “Just when you think you know someone…” Clay watched her warily, waiting to see if she would fall. When he was convinced she wasn’t going to fall on her face, he nodded toward the horses. “You wait here, I’ll bring Sugar to you. Then we’ll get you home so you don’t have to resort to eating bark.” “How far away from the house are we?” 44

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“Just a mile.” “Do you think…” Her gaze strayed toward the horses. “Would it be all right if I walked it?” Clay wasn’t about to leave her behind and risk letting her get lost, or trapped up another tree. And walking the mile or so back to the house would result in the loss of valuable time. The place isn’t going to fall apart if you’re twenty minutes late. “Yeah, we can walk.” The smile she shot him was worth the concession, and he kept his pace slow to match hers as they headed back toward the horses. She hung back as he gathered the reins, stooping to scratch Marty’s ears when he sniffed at her legs, and only spoke again once they’d resumed the path back to the house. “Are you afraid of anything, Clay?” He could see the house in the distance, and the young horses were racing from one of the paddock to the other, nothing but a cloud of color and dust. Clay wasn’t afraid of losing the place. But he was afraid of how empty it would be when he was the only one left. “Heights.”

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CHAPTER 4 For Paige, life on the Good Fortune Ranch settled into an easy routine after the moose incident. Clay kept his word and didn’t tell anyone the specifics of why she’d been late, though once or twice she caught Cody casting an odd look at her. He even tried to get more details out of her when his girlfriend Jan showed up to take Paige shopping, but Paige laughed him off, dismissing it as too stupid to even talk about. In the background, Clay smiled at her. She took it and held it to heart. Her days were spent either riding in carefully mapped portions of the ranch—no more random exploring for this girl—or at the house, sitting with Mrs. Putnam. There were 46

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days when she was lucid enough to want Paige’s company, and those were the ones Paige enjoyed the most. They played cards, or Scrabble, or occasionally, Paige would read to the older woman while she sat in her chair and knitted. But always, when the evening approached, Mrs. Putnam would grow more distant. This was the time reserved exclusively for her husband, whether he was there or not; absolutely nobody could take it away from her. After the day he saved her, Paige set out to make it up to Clay, in whatever way she could. With Mrs. Putnam otherwise distracted in the later hours of the day, it gave Paige the freedom to make sure there was a hot meal waiting for Clay when he returned from working the ranch. The first night he walked in and saw the table laid out, he’d stood and stared at her for a solid two minutes before mumbling a thank you and sitting down. It became routine after that, and if Paige’s menus lacked variety or excitement, Clay never said a word. He devoured everything she served and then demanded she sit down while he cleaned up. Dinner with Clay quickly became the highlight of her day. Two weeks after she’d come to the ranch, Paige woke up with butterflies in her stomach. This was the day Ty was finally arriving. She was excited about seeing him, and more excited about finally having something to distract her from her growing affection for his brother. With each passing day, it was getting harder not to look at Clay and remember he was off-limits. She was engaged now. It didn’t matter how attractive he was, or how thoughtful, or how comfortable he 47

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made her feel. And after today, she would have Ty anyway. The man she loved. The man she was going to marry. Things were about to change again. Mid-morning, Paige knocked on Mrs. Putnam’s door, as had become her routine. It usually only took a moment or two of conversation with her to determine how the day would go, whether Paige would stay or whether she’d go off in search of something else to pass the hours until Ty’s arrival. So when she heard the soft, “Come in,” she pushed open the door with an eager smile. “Good morning, Paige,” Mrs. Putnam said pleasantly. “I seem to have misplaced my reading glasses.” She relaxed at the common greeting. Today was a good day. “They’re right here.” Paige plucked them out of the small valet on the nightstand and carried them over to the window, handing them over to Mrs. Putnam before sitting in the chair opposite. “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” She leaned toward the warm sunshine streaming through the glass. “Ty’s going to love it.” The older woman’s eyes lit up, her glasses forgotten. “Ty is coming home?” She had told her this before, but it didn’t bother Paige in the least any more that Mrs. Putnam didn’t remember. “This afternoon,” she said. “Isn’t that nice?” She tossed her knitting aside like it was nothing more than garbage and pushed herself to her feet. “Oh, we don’t have 48

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much time. We’ll need to fix his room, and you know, he loves my biscuits and gravy. I always make him biscuits and gravy.” Paige took her arm, giving her support as she found her balance. “No need to worry about Ty’s room. That’s taken care of.” But it was the other part of Mrs. Putnam’s declaration that made her worry. Clay had few rules regarding his mother, but the one that was clearest was not to allow her to use the kitchen. In her distracted state, it was simply too dangerous. “And we’ve got all day to worry about dinnertime,” she continued. Her mind raced in search of a solution. “In fact, we still have lunch to worry about. Why don’t I go make us a picnic to take out to Clay? It’s such a gorgeous day, and I’ll bet he’d appreciate having one last day to have you all to himself.” Mrs. Putnam looked out the window and seemed to drift away. Paige prepared herself for the other woman to mutter something about her scarf, or her cross-stitching. Sometimes she didn’t offer an explanation at all. She just turned inward until she seemed to disappear altogether. “Oh, those boys. There wasn’t anything Clay had that Ty didn’t want. He used to follow him around like a lost puppy.” Her eyes focused on Paige, and she smiled. “We should make ham sandwiches.” Relief flooded through her. Ham sandwiches didn’t really constitute cooking. And Paige would be right there by her side to make sure nobody got hurt. Even better, having a picnic would kill the hours until Ty arrived. 49

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She led Mrs. Putnam down to the kitchen, where she chattered about her boys while they prepared the picnic. It took longer than Paige imagined, but in the end, sandwiches were made, a fruit salad was prepared, and fresh lemonade was squeezed. The latter had nearly given her a heart attack when Mrs. Putnam unexpectedly grabbed a knife to start halving lemons. She’d just tell Clay the lemonade was leftover from the day before. With the basket on one arm and Mrs. Putnam on the other, Paige led her out to the stables. Thank God Clay was working close to the house. If he’d been further out, she wasn’t sure how she would have distracted his mother. “When Charles first brought me here, all that was standing was the house. We built the stables together, when I was already pregnant with Mark,” Mrs. Putnam informed her as they stepped in the barnyard. Before Paige replied, Clay stepped out of the doorway, his hat pulled low over his eyes to block the bright sun. Despite that, she could still see the surprise, and then the happiness on his face, as he watched his mother shuffle across the dusty yard. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite girl,” Clay greeted. “What brings you out here, Mama?” “Oh, Paige wanted to have a picnic while we wait for Ty.” She took Clay’s hand and squeezed it. “He’s coming home today.” “I know, Mama. It’s been a while since we’ve seen him, hasn’t it?” He began guiding her away from the stables, 50

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flashing a quick grin at Paige. “Why don’t we eat over here in the yard?” Paige followed the pair, ducking her head to hide her pleased smile. Anything that made his Mama happy made Clay happy, too, and that was worth any effort it took on her part. She waited until they found a spot in the shade, and before he asked, handed over the blanket she’d brought specially for the picnic. Clay released Mrs. Putnam’s hand long enough to spread the blanket on the ground, fussily making sure all the corners were straight and the material was free of wrinkles. When it was just right, he took his Mama’s hand again and gently helped her settle on the blanket. Paige settled on the opposite corner, and Clay sat between them. “You two timed it well,” Clay said, as he began to unpack the basket. “I was starving. Mama, do you want some fruit salad?” “Yes, please. I want to bring Ty to visit Daddy tomorrow.” Clay’s lips thinned, his only visible reaction. “We can all go with you, if you’d like.” “No. Just Ty.” “Would it be all right if I went?” Paige caught Clay’s eye, hoping her I’ll keep an eye on her for you message was clear. “I haven’t had the chance to see Mr. Putnam yet myself. Ty and I can tell him about getting married together then.” “I think Daddy needs to talk to Ty, Clay.” Clay carefully cut a sandwich in half and put it on the plate he was preparing for Mrs. Putnam. “About what, Mama?” 51

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She looked to Paige and then back to Clay. “The way he’s treating this girl is just deplorable. We raised him better than that.” “Yes, you did,” he assured her, but he wasn’t looking at his mother. The look in his eye made her stomach twist. “Ty’s busy,” Paige said. “His career is very important to him.” Clay held her gaze for another moment before dropping it back to his plate. “Mama, I spoke to Ryan this morning. He said he’d like to come and visit while Ty is here. I was thinking we could go on a ride up to the Point like we used to.” “Oh, I haven’t been on a horse in years, Clay.” “Cody and I were thinking about rigging up a little cart for you. Something Flower can pull.” She clapped her hands together. “Is Flower still alive?” “She is, Mama. I just took her out for a ride yesterday morning.” Paige nibbled at her food as he watched them slip into more stories about years gone by. It was rare to see Clay so relaxed, and each time he smiled, satisfaction burned a little bit hotter inside her. She had done this for him. All right, so maybe she hadn’t been the reason Mrs. Putnam was lucid today, but the picnic had been her idea. Now, seeing mother and son together, the familiar long lines of Nora’s face echoed in Clay’s, the affectionate way each would reach out and touch the other’s hand or face…it was enough to make her finally believe she’d done something worthy of what he’d done for 52

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her. “Paige,” Clay said, surprising her out of her thoughts, “are you okay? You’ve barely touched any of your food.” “She’s just excited to see Ty.” Mrs. Putnam looked at her with startling clear eyes. “You must have been terribly lonely these past few weeks.” “Now how could I be lonely when I’ve had the two of you for company?” she replied with a smile. “But, yes, I’m just excited. Talking to him on the phone isn’t the same as getting to see him in person.” “Yes, but a young woman has needs.” Clay nearly choked on his lemonade. “Mama.” “What? I remember what it’s like to be young, Clay.” It was impossible not to laugh at his discomfort. “Oh, don’t worry about me,” Paige said, with a sly wink at Mrs. Putnam. “There’s a reason I had to buy all those extra batteries when Jan took me into town.” Mrs. Putnam merely laughed, but Clay began to cough violently. Paige leaned over to help him, but Clay waved her off. “I’m fine…” he said, between coughs. “I’m fine. Just swallowed something wrong. That’s all.” “Here, dear, have some lemonade.” “Thank you, Mama.” Clay said, accepting the glass. Paige wasn’t sure if Clay saw it or not, but there was a fresh tremor in Mrs. Putnam’s hand as she handed the glass to her son. Her amusement faded. “Maybe we should go have a nap before Ty gets here,” she suggested. “We’re probably going to be up all night once he gets home.” 53

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Clay frowned at the same time Mrs. Putnam passed a hand over her eyes. “That probably would be a good idea. That boy could talk the ear off the cows once he got going.” Clay was on his feet instantly, offering both hands to Mrs. Putnam to help her to her feet. He looked at the picnic apologetically, but Paige waved him away. She repacked everything quickly while Clay led Mrs. Putnam back to the house, allowing her to lean on him heavily. Paige thought it might have been easier for Clay to just pick her up and carry her up the stairs, but realized neither one of them would have accepted that indignity. Ten minutes after Clay helped Mrs. Putnam up the stairs to her bedroom, he found Paige in the kitchen. “She’s already asleep,” he announced. “But she’s sleeping really soundly. I think the fresh air really did her some good.” He paused for a moment before saying softly, “Thank you.” She paused in her washing up, long enough to smile at him. “It was my pleasure. You know I love her.” As she turned back to the sink, the flashing light on the answering machine on the counter caught her eye. “Looks like someone called while we were out.” Clay crossed the room and pushed play. Ty’s voice immediately filled the room. “Hey. Clay? Paige? I guess you guys are out. Look, there was an opening at the event in Reno this weekend. I know it’s last minute, but I’m going to be traveling there with Jimmy. I’m in Utah right now. Anyway, I’ll call you later. But I’ll definitely be there next week. Tell Mama I love her. Bye.” 54

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Her heart had leapt as soon as she heard his voice. It was leaden by the time he finished. Paige stared at the machine. Another event? Next week? But she’d already waited two weeks for him. He’d promised her he’d come. This wasn’t even really notice. If he was in Utah, that meant he’d known for at least a day he wasn’t coming, and he hadn’t called until now? But what hurt most was the last. Tell Mama I love her. No mention of the same for Paige. She knew it was just an oversight on his part, but still…it hurt. Clay touched her shoulder gently. “Paige…I’m sorry.” By the time she found the fortitude to tilt her head up and look at him, her eyes were burning with unshed tears. “It’s okay,” she said, with a smile she didn’t feel. “It’s all part of being a rodeo wife, right? I’m just getting my training early.” “No, it’s not,” he said, with surprising force. She noticed he didn’t move his hand either. “He has complete control over his schedule and he…” Clay sighed, looking at her intensely. “You deserve better treatment than that, Paige.” His gaze arrested her. “You keep saying that to me. I’m beginning to think you mean it.” Clay swallowed hard. “I do mean it.” He cupped her cheek with his other hand, his thumb brushing across the corner of her eye. “I hate to see you like this.” His callused fingertips were rough against her skin, belying the tenderness of his touch. With a sigh, Paige leaned into it, turning her head in order to get more contact. It meant her mouth skimmed the edge of his hand, and when she turned 55

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her head a second time, she pressed a light kiss to the palm. Clay breathed her name, a bare whisper of sound. He moved closer, his leg pressing against hers. He was so close she felt the heat from his body. He tilted his head, his breath fanning across her face. She knew he was going to kiss her. Everything from his touch to the soft light in his eyes told her he was going to kiss her. Paige knew he shouldn’t, knew she shouldn’t let him. But she didn’t stop him. Clay’s lips were warmer, and softer, than she expected. Her response was even more so. As her eyes fluttered shut, Paige lifted a hand to rest against his chest, the hard wall of muscle scalding through his denim shirt. It was only to have some support, to have some assurance that the sudden swirling in her head wasn’t going to make her topple over, but the moment she touched him, Paige parted her lips. Her tongue traced the long line of his mouth, and a small sound, not quite a cry, not quite a moan, came from her throat. It might have been his name. That’s what it sounded like to her ears. The hand on her shoulder moved to the small of her back, and he pulled her closer as he returned her caress. He gently slipped his tongue past her lips, slowly probing deeper. His heart hammered beneath her palm, and her own was racing like a jackrabbit, but he never changed the pressure of the kiss. He moved his lips and tongue like the kiss was slow, delicate work that shouldn’t, or couldn’t, be rushed. Paige’s stomach did a slow somersault each time his tongue slid against hers. It was only when she had to pull away to breathe, and she was looking up into those vivid eyes, that Paige realized the 56

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import of what she was doing. Her eyes widened, and she pulled her hand away, but the way he had her pinned against the counter made it impossible to flee any further. “Oh, my God,” she breathed. “I’m so sorry.” Clay’s eyes widened, and he stepped back quickly, releasing her like he didn’t even know why he was touching her. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake.” He put more space between them with each word. Somehow, even though she knew he was right, hearing him characterize it as a mistake hurt. “I kissed you, too,” she said. “I could’ve stopped you sooner, and I didn’t. This is my fault.” “No. It wasn’t.” Clay was at the door now. “We’re mending fences this afternoon. I might not be back until late.” “Clay…” She tried to stop him, but he was already gone, retreating from the embarrassment of what they’d done. Paige leaned against the counter, her trembling fingers touching her swollen mouth, and tried to sort out the maelstrom of her thoughts. I kissed Clay. Clay kissed me. And she’d enjoyed it. She’d wanted it. She’d wanted more until she’d had a moment to breathe. It was impossible to deny her attraction to Clay any longer, not with the proof still making her heart pound. But the most frightening part of all her realizations was that while they’d been kissing, not once had she thought of Ty. She hadn’t considered him at all from the moment Clay touched her cheek to the moment she looked into his eyes and 57

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knew just how far she was willing to go for him. Her gaze strayed to the door again. Oh, God. What am I doing?

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CHAPTER 5 “I think somebody’s got a visitor,” Cody said, pulling Clay’s attention away from the trembling colt. “What?” He glanced up, and saw Paige’s unmistakable figure approaching the corral. The colt shifted its weight and neighed, tossing his fiery red mane. The saddle Clay was trying to ease onto the colt’s back slipped in his fingers. It was difficult to concentrate. It had been difficult to concentrate since he kissed Paige, and realized he desperately wanted to do more than kiss her. His head was a tumult of desire and guilt and confusion and need until he didn’t know where one emotion began and the other ended. It all just threaded around 59

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him, pulling tighter and tighter. Clay had spent the last three days avoiding Paige. He left the house hours before she woke up, he found jobs and chores that would carry him as far away from the house as possible, and he worked himself into a stupor, not dragging back to the house until long after sundown. And now as he watched her approach, he remembered every second of that kiss—every reason why he couldn’t be anywhere near her. “Maybe you better let me take care of this,” Cody said, jumping down from his perch on the wooden fence and taking the saddle from Clay. “You seem a bit distracted.” “I’m not distracted.” “Ol’ Chief here about bit a chunk right out of your shoulder. You didn’t even notice, did you?” Clay looked at the colt warily. His eyes were rolling and his lips were pulled back, revealing his large, white teeth. “Maybe I’m a bit distracted.” “Go see what she wants. It looks like something lit a fire under her ass.” Clay frowned. Now she was closer, he could see she was running. He jumped on the fence and swung his leg over the top, hurrying to meet her as soon as his feet touched the ground. She slammed into him with full force, and Clay caught her arms to keep them both from knocking over. Her eyes were wide and panicked, her breathing labored. It wasn’t just the run from the house, however, because almost immediately, Paige began tugging at him, backing up and pulling him with 60

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her. “You have to come quick,” she panted. “It’s Nora. I can’t…she’s not…just come on.” As soon as the words left Paige’s mouth, Clay was sprinting across the yard. They had been breaking horses in the far paddock, about five hundred yards from the house, but it might as well have been five hundred miles. It seemed like no matter how fast he ran, he wasn’t getting any closer to the house. He didn’t bother to check to see if Paige was keeping up. “Mama,” Clay shouted as soon as he hit the front door. There was no answer. “Mama.” He took the stairs two at a time, his heart leaping to his throat. Her bedroom door was open, and he could see her from the hallway, prone on the bed. The stairs creaked behind him as Paige raced to catch up. “I went to see her after breakfast, like I always do, but she didn’t answer, so I let myself in and I know I shouldn’t have, but…” She touched his arm, and when he glanced down at her, her face was streaked with tears. “I think she went in her sleep.” “No.” The denial was instant. Clay went to the bed and took her hand, his fingers probing her wrist, looking for a pulse. When he felt nothing, he tried her neck. Nothing. He put his hand close to her nose. Nothing. “Mama?” He gripped her hand again and sunk to his knees beside the bed. Paige was there within moments, crouching next to him. One hand covered his where it held Mama’s, while the other reached out to touch his face. There was the faintest of tremors 61

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in her slim fingers, but the strokes were gentle, and the warmth they transmitted soothing. “I’m so sorry,” she murmured. “But she’s not in pain any more. And she’s with your dad, which means she’s happy.” That might have been true. Clay didn’t know or care. Like a small child, he just wanted his Mama. He didn’t understand why she had left him. “Will you please call her doctor? His number is by the kitchen phone,” Clay said, his voice strained. “He can…he’ll send somebody by to get her.” Paige hesitated for a moment before straightening and leaving the room. Clay never looked away from his mother, and he noticed her lips were pulled into something like a smile, and her skin didn’t seem quite so translucent. “Mama, couldn’t you have held on for just a little bit longer?” he whispered. “Just long enough to say good-bye?” Something stung his throat and the back of his eyes, but he resisted, and soon the tears were nothing more than a lump in the back of his throat. “I didn’t even get to say good-bye.” A soft touch on the back of his neck was his only clue that Paige had returned. He had no idea how long she had been gone, how much time he’d sat there, wishing for just a few more minutes with his mother. He heard Paige sniffle and then sigh, her hand stroking down his spine. In the next moment, she was pressed to his back, her arms tight around his waist, her cheek resting on his shoulder. “Tell me what to do,” she whispered. “Let me help you, Clay.” 62

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A choked cry escaped his throat, and he pressed the back of his hand against his mouth. He didn’t know what to tell her. There was so much to do. He needed to call everybody. He needed to find her will. He needed to make sure all of her last wishes were taken care of. He needed to do so much, and all he could really focus on was the pain slithering and winding through his chest, and the heat of Paige’s body against his back. She felt so real, pressed to him, and everything else seemed so distant. “There’s just so much,” he finally murmured. “I have to tell everybody. I have to call them.” “I can help with that. Why don’t you get all the numbers you’re going to need, while I run down and tell Cody? She was family to all of them, too.” Clay nodded. Cody would know what to do. He’d take over easily, make sure all the chores were done, see all the hands found out. And Jan would no doubt be up as soon as she heard. She began to move away, but he caught her arm, holding her in place. He just needed another moment of contact, just needed a bit more warmth before she left him. “Paige…” It was only after he spoke her name that he realized he didn’t know what he wanted to say. “It’s okay,” she breathed. Her body shifted as she leaned into him again, and he felt her soft lips skim over his cheek. “I’m coming right back.” Clay knew she wasn’t his, knew he had no right to need her. But he did. He didn’t want to be alone. He just wanted to 63

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hold her until things started to make sense again. How could Mama be gone? How could she be gone? “I know,” he whispered, forcing himself to pry his fingers from her arm. Paige didn’t move right away, staying there for a few more seconds with her body pressed to his. When she did, it wasn’t in the direction he expected. She slid around to his side and cupped his face again, leaning closer to brush a tender kiss across his mouth. It lasted for only a second. Then she was gone, too. Clay pushed himself to his feet, his mouth still tingling where Paige had touched him, his heart heavy, his head pounding. A million memories seemed to wash over him at once. Mama holding him down while the doctor set his first broken bone, Mama brushing his hair on Sunday morning and warning him not to get muddy before church, Mama making a special chocolate cake for him on his tenth birthday, Mama singing lullabies to all her boys when they were old enough to pretend they didn’t like it. Mama always there because her boys were her world, and did he do enough to show her how much he appreciated that? Appreciated her? He found her blue address book in her dresser. He didn’t want to leave her, but he couldn’t make the necessary phone calls in that room. The last thing he needed was to break down, because he wasn’t sure he could pull himself together again if he did. Finally, he went down the hall to his own room. Ryan’s number was first. It felt like he had a ten-pound weight tied to his finger. Ryan picked up on the second ring. 64

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“Hey, it’s me. Mama passed away….last night…” *

*

*

She never saw Clay cry. She watched him all day, watched for signs of tears or distress, watched for anything that would need privacy or a shoulder to lean on. But they never came. Clay went through the motions of calling everyone Nora Putnam had known to break the news, and the closest she saw him to breaking down was the slight hitch in his voice when he actually said the words. She’s gone. She kept him going with coffee and frequent touches, resting a hand on his shoulder as he spoke to family members, giving quick hugs when he would rise from the table. When Jan arrived, Paige hoped seeing an old friend would be enough to spark a reaction, but all he did was nod, offer terse responses, and accept her presence without argument. He was on autopilot, which she knew was an expected response. It just wasn’t the one she thought he needed right now. Though the smell of the meal Jan fixed was heavenly, Clay begged off, retreating from the kitchen with apologies and exhausted shoulders. The women let him go, not speaking until they heard his bedroom door close over their heads. “This is going to be hard for all the boys,” Jan said quietly. “But it’s going to be the worst for Clay.” “I know,” Paige agreed. “Ever since Ty left, she’s been all he’s had. I don’t know 65

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what he’s going to do now.” “He’s strong. He’ll come through this.” Jan’s eyes were kind. “Even Clay needs help once in a while.” Pushing back from the table, she went to the sink and rinsed out her coffee cup. “Don’t worry about cleaning up. I’ll come back in the morning and take care of everything for you guys. You should get some sleep, too. Clay’s not the only one who had a rough day.” Paige didn’t like leaving the work to Jan, but her eyes kept straying to the ceiling and to thoughts of Clay. She made noises of agreement, smiling when they said good-bye, agreeing to get the rest Jan demanded. But by the time she crept up the stairs nearly half an hour later, she still didn’t know what she was going to do. She paused outside his door and listened. She didn’t hear anything like sobbing, but the broken, stuttered breaths were a clear sign that he was finally done holding back. She’s all he’s had. Paige could picture him in there, alone. Even Clay needs help once in a while. Paige knocked before she had the chance to change her mind. After a long pause, he pulled the door open. His face was drawn and pale, his eyes red and wet, his hair a mess, and his shirt hanging off his sloped shoulders. “What?” Faced with the evidence of his grief, all her helpful words fled. She wanted to reach out and take him into her arms, soothe away the pain he wore like a shroud. All she could manage was, “Jan’s left.” Clay nodded. “You should get some sleep. It’s going to be 66

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a madhouse here tomorrow. We’re going to need to make room for a dozen people.” “I don’t want to leave you alone.” Clay shifted his weight, like he was about to push the door open for her, but stopped. “Paige, it might be best if you just go to your room.” He was right. It might be. For someone who wasn’t them. “No.” She took a step closer and pressed her hand to his chest, bypassing the open shirt front to rest her palm directly over his heart. “I’m not leaving you.” Clay took her other hand and gently pulled her into the room, pushing the door shut behind her. His arm went around her, and he buried his face in her neck, pinning her against the door. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said, his voice muffled against her skin. “Good,” she whispered. “I’ve been wanting to hold you like this all day.” She felt Clay’s lips against her throat first. It might have been an accident, but he moved and kissed the skin just below her ear, then her jaw, then where her shoulder met her neck. Each brush of contact was soft, but not tentative. When his cheek brushed against her skin, she thought she felt a hint of dampness. He kissed a path from her jaw to the corner of her mouth, and then lifted his head, looking at her with questioning eyes. “Don’t stop.” She slid her hand from his back up to his neck and pulled him back down to her. Her breath mingled with his as her mouth touched his, and she shivered, in spite of 67

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the growing warmth deep inside her skin. “God, Clay, please. Don’t stop.” Clay hooked his finger beneath her chin and tilted her head back, his mouth drawn to her skin again. His lips skimmed over her, and he seemed intent on kissing, tasting, caressing every inch of her neck and throat. Each time he touched her, she shivered. By the time he made his way to her mouth, she was flushed yet covered in goose bumps. “I won’t stop,” he breathed, his lips hovering just above hers. “I need you.” Paige swayed forward, closing the space between them, and their mouths touched again. It was like the kiss they’d shared in the kitchen—thorough, deliberate, but now there was an edge of hunger, of the need he spoke of. If she was being honest with herself, she would have known this was what was going to happen. The kiss in the kitchen had rocked her to the core—not the fact Clay had dared it, but because she’d welcomed it so greedily. She had spent the last three days thinking on it, and dwelling on it, and reliving it over and over both when she was awake and when she slept. It was proof of her burgeoning feelings for him, validation of her desire. It only made her want more. Clay wasn’t the only one who needed this. Paige needed it, too. Maybe not for the same reasons, and maybe they were selfish, but she didn’t have the power to deny it any longer. As his mouth worked over hers, she curled her fingers into the long hair at his nape, nails scratching across skin as she 68

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tried to pull him closer. Clay moaned and nibbled at her lower lip, but didn’t tear away. She could easily stand there all night, the door at her back, Clay’s hard body at her front, his tender mouth anywhere he chose. He smoothed his hands down her ribs, gathering her Tshirt in his fingers and pulling it free from her jeans. The first touch of his callused fingers across her bare skin pulled a low moan from her throat. His skin was rough, but his touch was as tender as his mouth, like he was afraid she’d break if he used anything but the mildest strength. He pressed the flats of his palms against her back, drawing her away from the door. Without breaking the kiss, he spun her around and walked her to the bed. They stopped when the back of her legs hit the mattress. Paige pulled away, her eyes locked on his as she reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt. Clay let his hands drop to her hips, out of the way, and watched as she slowly peeled it off. Her hair caught in the neck, but before she could free it, his fingers were there, slipping beneath the heavy strands and pulling them free. Her lashes fluttered at the soft touches against her neck. “Every time you touch me…” she murmured. Clay pressed his lips against her temple and unsnapped her bra. He slid the straps down her arms and tossed the thin material to the floor. She heard him swallow and then he stepped back, his eyes heavy as he studied her body. His gaze almost felt like a touch—that was, until he actually touched her. He cupped both breasts, massaging them with weathered 69

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fingers. With her blood pounding through her veins, Paige reached for Clay’s shirt, slim fingers sliding up over the buttons, only to hesitate when she reached his shoulder. “May I?” Somehow, it seemed vital to ask, to let him know this was his show, that his pleasure mattered to her. Clay merely nodded, and she slipped her hand beneath the denim and pushed the shirt off his broad shoulders. He released her long enough to pull his hands free from the sleeves, and she couldn’t help but think of the morning she’d seen him in the barn, how desperately she had wanted to touch him. Now nothing was stopping her. She ran her fingers from his neck, over his muscled chest, to his flat stomach. He closed his eyes and sighed, swaying into her touch. “Did you know I was there that day in the stables?” As she traced the line of his waistband, Paige leaned closer and skimmed her mouth over his chest. “I probably could’ve watched you for hours if you hadn’t said anything.” Clay sighed, his hands going to the top button of her jeans. He worked it free, and then unzipped the fly. Her mouth never left his chest as he pushed the pants over her hips and down her thighs, and each time she flicked her tongue out to taste his skin, he sighed again. When she brushed her lips across his nipple, the sigh turned into a moan. “You know you’re probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” The sincerity in his voice was the only thing that could have pulled her away from savoring his skin. Her throat was tight as she gazed up at him, and her mouth still tingled from 70

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where it had touched him. But what Paige was focused on was the brightness of Clay’s eyes. For the first time since running out with the news, they gleamed with something other than sadness, and her heart thudded in satisfaction. Her fingers settled at his belt, and Paige worked at the soft leather without tearing her eyes away from him. She didn’t have any words. She didn’t know how to tell him what she was feeling. She wasn’t sure she even knew what it was, but that didn’t stop her from pulling his belt free from his jeans or pulling down the zipper. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she kicked her own jeans free from her legs before sliding her hands down the back of Clay’s. She pulled him closer. He didn’t look away even when she began raining open-mouthed kisses along his flat stomach. Clay ran his hands through her long hair, caressed the side of her face, brushed his nails against the nape of her neck, then followed the curve of her spine. He never stopped touching her, his hands forming a constant connection with her while she shifted her attention from his stomach to the ridges of his hips above his boxers. Eyeing the line of his erection, she curled her fingers around the waistband and they soon joined his pants around his ankles. Paige’s mouth watered. She had felt his arousal when he’d pinned her to the door, but seeing the long shaft now inches from where she could taste it made those sensations pale. It was long and bent a little to the left, the head the perfect size to suck past her lips and then widening at the base for her to grip. A clear drop of pre-come clung to the slit, and unable to 71

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resist, she leaned in and licked it away. Clay gasped, his fingers curling against the back of her neck. She didn’t know which she liked more—the sound of pleasure or the way he tasted. Which required a second experiment. She swiped her tongue across the crown, catching another drop of pre-come. “Oh, God,” he sighed. “Paige…will you…” She would have done it even without the request, but the need and desire in his voice made her even more determined to continue. Sliding her fingers along his hip, Paige circled them around the base of his cock, holding him steady. Her breath bounced off his flesh to warm her cheeks, and she lowered her head, sucking him in past her lips so that she could run her tongue over and around the velvety skin. “Paige…” His hands were still roaming over her body, fluttering over her skin. She drew his cock deeper into her mouth, her tongue exploring more and more of his shaft, tasting more of him, testing his texture. She gently cupped his balls, massaging him lightly with her fingers as she gradually moved along his shaft until her lips were at the base of his cock. “Oh, God, Paige…thank you…you feel so good…” The appreciation in his voice was something new to her. Sex with Ty was fun and energetic, but Paige had always felt like the needy one in the relationship. In spite of being younger, Ty was the one with all the experience, and the one who wanted to try all the new positions, and while Paige was more than willing—and often quite excited—to try them, Ty never made her feel like she had done something special for 72

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him. He took it for granted she would do certain things. Hearing Clay now excited her even more. More than she had felt with Ty in a long time. But as soon as she had the treacherous thought, Paige shoved it to a dark corner of her mind. She didn’t want to think about Ty. She wanted Clay. That was all there was to it. Slowly, she moved back up his length, keeping her mouth tight around his shaft. She let her teeth scrape lightly over the crown, eliciting a small gasp from Clay, and when his cock was completely out of her mouth, dragged her tongue back down the length. His ragged breathing grew even more so when she sucked his sac into her mouth, and she sighed with satisfaction when his fingers tightened on her flesh. Several seconds, or several minutes, passed, Clay’s fingers clenching and relaxing against her skin, his rough breathing and sharp moans the only sounds in the room. She would have been happy to use her mouth on him for several more minutes, but he took her by both her shoulders and gently pushed her back. She looked up at him with questioning eyes, but before she said anything, he bent and caught her lips. This kiss was much more demanding, his mouth hungrier than before. He broke away from her gradually as he eased her back onto the mattress. He kissed a trail down her neck, over her breasts, pausing to pull her nipple between his lips before moving lower, skimming his mouth across her stomach. He sunk to his knees, pushing her legs apart, his lips moving across her inner-thigh. Paige gasped when she felt his tongue gently push past her 73

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outer lips, his hands skimming up to her hips in order to spread her even farther. Each stroke was slow and deliberate, learning every curve and every inch of her pussy, and he traced around her opening, avoiding her clit, in endless circles. It was maddening. All she wanted to do was wrap her legs around his head and grind against his mouth. But she didn’t. It took all her willpower, but Paige just fisted the thick blanket on the bed and rode out his attention. It would be worth it, she knew. It might drive her crazy first, but if she’d learned anything about Clay, it was that he always gave more than he got. Her clit throbbed for attention, and her blood thrummed in her ears. The tip of his tongue dipped into her channel, and she clenched, desperate for more, but he pulled away, almost cruelly. She opened her mouth to plead for more, but the whimper turned into a shout when he slid his tongue up her lips to circle her clit. He pulled the flesh between his lips, alternately flicking his tongue over the tip and sucking her gently. One hand slid up her body to massage her breast, catching her nipple between his fingers. “Oh, God, Clay…please, please…” She knew what she wanted, but the increasing pressure on her breast made it harder and harder to think. Her body arched away from the mattress, and Clay pushed her back down, his arm hard and strong. The new restriction heightened the sensations, and with each squirm, Paige whimpered a little bit louder, a little bit longer. “Please, Clay, need you. I need…God, I need all of you, 74

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please…” Clay glanced up at her, and for a moment, she thought he was going to ignore her pleas and keep doing exactly what he wanted to do. But he offered her the smallest of smiles before standing and crawling up her body. Her arms and legs went around him immediately, drawing him against her body. The tip of his cock brushed against her opening, teasing her, and he tilted his head to skim his lips against hers. “Paige…are you sure?” “Yes,” she breathed. Her hands smoothed over his back, and she traced his mouth with her tongue. “God, Clay, I’ve never been more sure of anything. I want you so much.” “Good,” he breathed. “Because I’ve never been more sure either.” Clay punctuated his declaration by pushing into her, filling her with his length slowly. Once he was completely sheathed, he dropped his forehead to her shoulder, gasping for breath. She thought she heard him say her name between each sharp intake, and their moans echoed as he slid out and thrust forward again. There was no awkward fumbling as they sought their rhythm. Their bodies moved together instinctively, each stroke effortless. She loved how his muscles flexed and rippled beneath her hands and loved even more the contrast of his rough skin with his gentle touches, the way he palmed her breasts or sculpted over her curves. Her mouth found his in another kiss, and she tightened her hold, refusing him the space to move very far from her. 75

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Clay didn’t try to pull away from her grasp, or force a faster rhythm. He exhaled each time his hips rocked forward, warming her face and neck. She ran her hands down his back, her palms skimming over the occasional upraised scar. She committed each detail of his body to memory. The map of his skin, the way his cock stretched and filled her, the way his hair, and breath, and sweat smelled, the way her arousal tasted on his mouth. He seemed just as intent to know her body. His hands and lips never rested in one spot for long. “Clay…” His name came out as a bare breath, but it wasn’t enough to draw him away from where his mouth quested over her flesh. If anything, it prompted him to be more deliberate, his teeth now finding fresh patches to nibble before his tongue dragged over to soothe the throbbing skin. It shifted his angle, and Paige cried out as each inward thrust now hit a new spot inside her. What had been simmering before escalated swiftly to a boil, and it seemed like no time at all before she felt her muscles tensing, her body careening toward its orgasm. She didn’t expect him to lift his head. She definitely didn’t expect to see the burning light in those amazing green eyes. And it only took a murmured, “God, Paige…,” to send her flying over the edge. Clay tensed above her, his jaw clenching, his eyes screwing shut. She cupped the side of his face, his name spilling from her lips, and his eyes fluttered open. He didn’t look away from her again as his cock jerked inside of her, and shudders wracked his body. He nuzzled against her neck as he 76

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slipped out of her, spent. Paige closed her eyes as she breathed in his scent. In spite of the pain of the day, and in spite of what she knew was to come, it was hard to ignore how content she felt. How safe. Protected. Clay had done all that and more ever since she’d arrived, and the last thing she wanted right now was to lose it. “Can I stay?” she whispered. Clay lifted his head, looking at her with odd intensity. “Only if you want to stay with me.” Though she didn’t mean to, Paige stiffened. “You mean…leave Ty?” He rolled away from her, and sat at the edge of the bed, his back to her. “I’m sorry, Paige. I can’t…I won’t say I’m sorry about what just happened. But I…I don’t think I could stand to wake up next to you, and then watch you leave…” She hated the fact that his back was to her. After everything they had gone through, she wanted something more than that. But there was Ty. And she loved Ty. She was engaged to Ty. And that meant something. Rolling out of the other side of the bed, Paige scooped up her clothes and got dressed as quickly as she could. Clay never moved, though from the slope of his shoulders, she knew he was listening. He didn’t even flinch when she reached out and touched his bare back when she was done, desperate for just one last moment of contact. “I didn’t do this to hurt you, Clay,” she said softly. “You have no idea how important you are to me.” 77

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Clay looked up. She expected to see some sign of anger, or frustration, or even irritation in his expressive eyes, but she saw none of those things. He just seemed tired. “I know you didn’t. I never thought you did. Just promise me you won’t wake up tomorrow morning and be…upset about tonight.” He meant regret; she knew that’s what he meant. But if she took him at literal value, there was no way to give him the vow he wanted. Because it would upset her, no matter how either of them tried to spin it. He had asked her to stay and she had turned him down. She would always wonder what would’ve happened if she’d said yes. So she opted to believe his intent and nodded. “Would it be better if Ty and I go after…” She didn’t want to mention the funeral. “…everything’s taken care of?” Clay closed his eyes. “Yeah,” he whispered. “That would probably be best.” But you’ll be alone then, she wanted to say. And that’s not what either one of us wants. But she didn’t. Because saying it wouldn’t make things better. She had made her choice, and Clay was hardly a child. He was an attractive, loving man, and he’d find someone who could dote on him the way he deserved. Someone who wouldn’t leave. Walking out of his room right then was the hardest thing Paige had ever done in her life. But she did it. Because she’d made her choice.

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CHAPTER 6 Clay was utterly dry. His skin was dry, his eyes were dry, his tongue was dry. He finally broke down just before dawn and cried—sobbed. He hadn’t cried like that when Daddy died. In fact, the last time he cried like that was when he was five, and his best dog, Sammy, had to be put down, and Daddy had explained Sammy was old and sick. Daddy’s explanation didn’t make it easier when he was five, and knowing Mama was old and sick didn’t make it easier now. But by the time he was showered and dressed, he was dry. His head ached, and his chest ached, and his bed smelled like Paige. He would have to change the sheets before he went to bed again, because he couldn’t stand another night of smelling 79

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her, of thinking about her. Of dwelling on the fact that he had fallen in love with his brother’s fiancée and the only person who could have helped him make sense of this was gone. It didn’t matter. Because in a few days, they would all be gone. Jan arrived first. She went directly to the kitchen, and Clay watched her for several seconds, perplexed, before asking. “What are you doing?” “I’m cooking, Clay. You’re going to have to feed a lot of people. Send Paige down here when she wakes up. I’m going to need some help.” “Oh, thanks,” Clay murmured, resolving to give Cody as much time off as he could possibly afford in repayment for the kindness. Ryan arrived next. He had a thousand questions. Clay answered what he could, but mostly, all he said was, “I don’t know. I wasn’t there.” Then Ryan started in on accusations and recriminations. Why hadn’t Clay taken her to the hospital? Why did Clay insist she didn’t need supervision? Why hadn’t Clay at least hired a nurse if he didn’t want to take her to an assisted living facility? If she was getting worse, why hadn’t Clay called? Had she been getting worse? Clay thought she was improving. She loved having Paige around. She loved Paige. She had gone out for a picnic, and played Scrabble, and she had laughed. Clay hadn’t seen any signs to worry about. He had only seen hints at hope. When Ryan announced he wanted to look through Mama’s room, Clay let him pass without 80

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protest. Clay fled to the barn as the morning crawled by and the house filled with the aroma of food. He needed to plan a funeral. He couldn’t count on anybody else to see to the details. It was all his responsibility, but he just wanted to spend the morning with the horses. He didn’t want to see anybody—Paige. He didn’t want to risk seeing Paige, because he wasn’t sure how to deal with her. Or how she would deal with him. And everything made sense in the stables. The horses needed to be groomed. He brushed them down thoroughly, and then rubbed their coats with old towels until they all shined in the sun. He’d thought he was utterly dry. He cried when he brushed down Flower. The mare was gray now, her back sloped, her eyes dull and tired. Clay didn’t know why his mother’s old mare was still holding on. It might have been an act of mercy to simply put her down, but he knew he would never do that. Not now. Cody found him around lunchtime. “Clay, Mark is here.” “Where?” “Up at the house. Jan said you should stop hiding and get your ass up there. I’ll finish up here.” Clay only nodded. There was no point in arguing with Cody. He trudged up to the house, moving like he was walking underwater. His older brother’s familiar form, sitting on the porch, tugged at his heart. It had been three years since he’d seen Mark. He had hoped their reunion would be under better circumstances. Before Clay could even say a word, 81

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Mark was on his feet, and wrapping his arms around Clay in a solid hug. Mark must have gained at least fifty pounds, and lost most of his hair, but it didn’t matter. He was still exactly the same, and Clay returned the hug with gratitude. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” Mark said. “We kept saying we should get up here to visit. But I thought we had more time…” “We all did,” Clay murmured. Mark stepped back, but didn’t entirely release Clay from the embrace. “Do you know what happened?” He shook his head. “No. Not completely. She went in her sleep. It was peaceful.” Clay didn’t know for sure, but wasn’t slipping away in your sleep the definition of peaceful? “Was she…was she happy, at least?” Clay nodded. “She spent a lot less time alone since Paige showed up.” “Paige?” Clay was almost startled by the confusion on Mark’s face. Of course, he probably didn’t speak to Ty often, and if Ty could avoid mentioning his fiancée to Clay and Mama, it wouldn’t be a hardship for him to avoid mentioning her to Mark. “She’s engaged to Ty. She arrived nearly three weeks ago.” “Is Ty here?” “No, he sent her up with a promise to meet her here.” “And she believed that? Did she just meet him last month?” “No. Claims she met him eight months ago. And, yes, she 82

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believed him. But you know, just last Friday, she talked Mama into having a picnic.” Clay hoped Mark would understand why that meant something, why he would hold the memory close to his chest. By the way Mark smiled, Clay knew he understood. “Good. Good, that’s good. I already sent Jeri and the kids upstairs. We’ll all just stay in my old room.” “I didn’t have time to get any of the rooms ready.” Mark shook his head. “You need a wife. Even Ryan is dating.” “Ryan will never have a wife,” Clay pointed out dryly. “Well, life partner. Whatever. The point is, I never thought I’d see Ty marry before you!” “It’s crazy,” Clay agreed, following his older brother into the house. As soon as they stepped in the foyer, he caught a glimpse of Paige as she ducked into the kitchen. She had pulled her hair into a ponytail, and he couldn’t help but think about how her hair smelled, how it felt against his bare skin. The way he had threaded his fingers through it. It reminded him of corn silk. He had asked her not to regret it, and despite everything, he didn’t regret it now. The wedding would be awkward, and the holidays, and later when she and Tyler would start a family. Clay already resented that a little bit. Guilt was creeping in on the edges of his exhausted mind, and he might not be able to look his baby brother in the eye again. But how could he regret touching her? How could he regret the only night he’d ever get with her? 83

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When he ventured into the kitchen, Jan, Jeri, and Paige were all waiting for him, sitting at the table. “Clay, we need to take care of the details,” Jan announced. “I assumed you’d want to have the service here?” Clay nodded. “I called Doug. He said he could release the body tomorrow afternoon, if we wanted. Do you want to have a viewing the night before? Or just the service.” “I…I don’t know.” Paige looked at him sympathetically before suggesting softly, “Maybe just a graveside service would be appropriate.” “Yes, that sounds great,” Clay said gratefully. Unfortunately, settling that small problem did not end the barrage of questions. And they kept setting food in front of him. Jeri was the main culprit. It became clear to Clay why Mark had gained so much weight, but that was the only thing that became clear to him. “Jan, I think we can take care of the rest of the details,” Paige finally said, after what could have been hours. “I think we’ve held Clay in here long enough.” Clay looked up to Jan hopefully. He didn’t want to push this off onto them, but he didn’t know how much more he could take. “We can probably handle the rest.” Clay nodded at Paige and then hurried out of the kitchen, happy to leave the questions and food behind. *

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She didn’t know if the others saw it or not, but Clay was barely making it. He had hidden from them all morning—well, Paige was pretty sure he was hiding from her—and then when Cody had sent him back up to the house, he had barely been able to answer any of Jan’s questions. Paige had done everything she could to help him, but as soon as she thought it was feasible, she suggested letting Clay go. He didn’t want to be around them. He wanted to be alone. Well. That wasn’t entirely true. He wanted his mother back, and Paige would bet he wanted things between them back to the way they’d been before last night. As the others continued to talk over the details, her mind wandered. Did he regret what had happened? Probably, in spite of his assertions to the contrary. How could he not? And things were going to be awkward when Ty finally arrived. She glanced at the clock. If he ever did. As the afternoon passed, it became harder and harder to concentrate on what Jan and Jeri were saying. Brad arrived with his family in tow, and introductions were made, but soon, he, too, left the women in the house and retreated to wherever Clay was hiding out. Paige kept glancing at the door, wondering if she had the nerve to go find him and see how he was doing, but then Jan would ask another question or Jeri would put more food in front of her and the opportunity would be lost. It wasn’t until they heard another car approach the house that her chance came. “Ty’s here,” Cody called out from the front porch. Paige was the first on her feet, rushing out the door and 85

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flying outside just in time to see Ty climb out of his truck. Her heart twisted at the familiar sight of his lean form, and when he caught her eye, she smiled. Ty was here. This would dispel all the confusion in her head. Things could only get better from this point. “There’s my girl,” he said. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he marched straight past his brothers for her. In the next moment, he had his arms wrapped tightly around her, his face buried in her neck, and her feet off the ground. The familiar scent of his aftershave made her ache, and Paige squeezed her eyes shut as she returned the embrace. “Welcome home,” she murmured. They stayed like that for long seconds. With her eyes shut, it was easy to forget where she was. She could have been swept up into his arms after he’d come out of the arena at a show, or when he’d show up on her doorstep for a mid-week surprise. His arms were strong and solid and everything she had come to know. But when she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Clay standing in the background. His gaze met hers and, for just a second, she saw everything in his eyes, raw and naked. She wanted to tell herself the pain she saw there didn’t have anything to do with her, that his pallor was due to exhaustion, to mourning. He folded his arms over his chest, and the contact between them was broken when he looked away. Everything about his posture was defensive, each line of his body telling everybody to stay away from him. It was like a blow to the gut to see him fold in on himself. 86

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Paige pulled away from Ty’s embrace, but he folded his fingers around hers, keeping her close to his side. Before she could speak, they were swarmed. Brad, Ryan, and Mark slapped him on the back, shook his hand, pulled him into onearmed hugs. They had questions about the circuit, about his latest rides, about his chances of going to the finals. And, of course, where he had found a girl crazy enough to marry him. When she looked up to find Clay again, he was gone. Paige squeezed Ty’s hand, catching his attention. “Why don’t we take your things upstairs?” she suggested. “We’ll get that done and out of the way so we can have all night to catch up with everyone.” “Sounds good.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close again. “I’ve been thinking about getting you alone for the past four hundred miles.” She was suddenly very glad Clay wasn’t there to hear that. Amidst jokes about not being gone too long and Ryan’s wry response that this was Ty so it would be over in less than eight seconds anyway, Paige pulled him up the porch steps and into the house. “Clay put me up in your old room,” she said. “And I still have all the gifts we brought to give your family at the Fourth, but I don’t know what you want me to do with them now.” Ty followed her into the house, calling out a greeting to Jan as they passed the kitchen on their way to the stairs. “Well, maybe we can give out the presents after the funeral. It’ll cheer them up.” He paused before asking softly, “When is the funeral?” 87

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“Friday. Jan and I have been taking care of most everything. It hit Clay pretty hard.” “He was always a mama’s boy,” Ty said, not unkindly. “Where is he, anyway? I didn’t see him.” “The stables, most likely,” she replied. “He hasn’t been very social since we found her.” She stopped at the bedroom door, barring entry as she frowned up at Ty. “And missing your mother like he does doesn’t make him a mama’s boy. It just shows how much he gives of himself when he loves someone. Why would you say something like that? He’s your brother.” Ty offered a placating smile. “I didn’t mean anything by it, honey. I just meant he was always the one tied to her apron. I’ll go down to the stables later and make sure he’s okay.” He moved to embrace her again, but she stepped back, allowing him entry into the bedroom, but avoiding his hands. “How are you doing? Clay mentioned you found her first when he called.” She followed him into the room and went to the dresser to open the empty drawer she’d left for him. “I’m hanging in there. It was hard finding her like that. And, yeah, I’d come to love her like you said I would, but honestly, it’s been harder watching Clay struggle to deal with it. Nora’s in a better place now, and I can’t do everything for her. Clay, on the other hand, needs us.” Ty, not to be thwarted for long, pulled her against his body, his arms folding across her stomach. “Clay will be fine. He’s strong, and he’s got the thing he loves most—the ranch.” 88

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He brushed her hair away from her neck and pressed his lips against the skin below her ear. The touch was familiar, and Ty was an expert at making her body respond. Even now, his mouth was melting some of the tension from her muscles. For a brief second, Paige closed her eyes and leaned her head back against his chest. Until a kid’s shout from outside reminded her where they were. “Stop,” she said, pulling out of his arms. “We can’t do this right now. Everybody’s here and they’re waiting for us to go back downstairs.” “Everybody will understand I haven’t seen my girl in weeks,” Ty said, but he released her. He walked over to the window, taking off his hat to run his hand through his hair, lightened and tinted gold by the sun. At that moment, he looked even younger than his twenty-one years. No more than a boy. “I wasn’t here when Daddy died either.” Guilt drove her to the window, and compassion prompted her to wrap her arms around his waist. Paige rested her cheek against his back, inhaling his clean scent. “I just wish you’d had a chance to see her one last time.” “Reno had a purse worth fifty thousand. That would have been enough to qualify me for the PBR roster.” “There are other purses, aren’t there?” “Not all of them worth fifty grand. A slot opened up, Paige. What was I supposed to do? One good ride, and we would have been set.” She knew it was pointless arguing with him about it. Ty loved his riding, and he had a point about the money being 89

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good for them. “I know, I’m sorry. I mean, not even Clay got to say good-bye, and he was here.” Ty didn’t respond immediately. The silence between them was tense, and she wasn’t surprised when he pulled away from her. “Mama understood. Mama always understood my riding.” Inwardly, Paige kicked herself. “I didn’t mean it like that, Ty.” She stepped around in front of him and looped her arms around his neck, even though he kept his arms at his side. “I know what bull riding means to you. I was just missing you so much, and I was disappointed I had to wait even longer. That’s all.” Ty smiled, pacified. He still looked boyish, but now it was charmingly so. The sort of charm that had attracted her to begin with. “Come with me this summer. I don’t want to spend another day away from you.” “Me neither.” As she tilted her head to kiss him, Paige knew she meant it. She needed this summer to remember everything that had made her fall in love with Ty in the first place. And she needed to forget about the brother who’d made her question it.

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CHAPTER 7 Clay had never seen such a glorious morning. The sky was a rich, deep blue, completely bare of clouds. A light breeze kept the air fresh, and the sun hung benevolently above them. Red, yellow, pink and purple wildflowers blanketed the grass, startlingly bright against the dark green leaves. In the distance, horses and cows grazed lethargically, tails swishing to flick the flies away from their legs and rumps. The animals provided a general soundtrack for the service—everything from a rooster crowing to the calves bawling—and Clay knew Mama couldn’t have asked for a better memorial. Every sound, every smell, every flower was something she used to cherish. 91

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They had set up several rows of chairs in the small graveyard for Mama’s older friends and relatives, and small children fidgeted in their Sunday best. He didn’t blame the kids for being impatient. They were too young to understand why they couldn’t play on this, a day that had clearly been designed to enjoy. Clay was impressed, but not surprised, by the turn out. It wasn’t easy to get to the Good Fortune, and the sheer number of people who were willing to put up the effort touched him deeply. Dozens of friends, acquaintances, relatives, and even people Clay had never met had begun to show up that morning before breakfast. Despite the number of mourners, Clay stood apart, separated from them by his mental walls, if not by distance. Ryan had John—a lawyer who Clay actually liked quite a bit—and Mark and Brad had their wives and kids. Cody and Jan were holding each other tightly. And Ty, of course, had Paige. She was wearing a long black skirt, a black western shirt, and her hair was hanging loose around her shoulders. Her nose and eyes were red, and Ty kept a protective arm around her waist. Clay would have given everything he owned to hold her for a moment, to wrap his arms around her, and inhale the fresh smell of sunshine and soap on her skin. The hollow sound of dirt landing on Mama’s coffin distracted him from Paige. Their pastor was moving through the crowd as it began to dissipate, shaking hands and offering platitudes. Clay did a careful dance to avoid him without being obvious, circling back to the grave and watching as three of their hands began to fill in the grave. It would have been easier 92

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and quicker to simply use the back-hoe, but Mama had not allowed that when they buried Daddy, and Clay knew she wouldn’t want a tractor tearing up the ground and running over the wildflowers. He watched, counting each shovel, until he was almost hypnotized by the steady movements. Gradually, the whisper and rustle of dozens of conversations faded, and Clay didn’t know if that was because he was left alone, or if he simply couldn’t hear them anymore. He was pulled from his thoughts by a large hand on his shoulder, and he knew without looking up who it was. “Hey, Ty,” Clay said softly. “I don’t think we could’ve asked for a better day for Mama.” “No.” Too bad she isn’t here to see it. “I guess it’s near perfect.” He glanced sideways to study the younger man’s profile beneath the brim of his black hat. “How are you holding up?” “Hanging in there. Having Paige around helps. She always knows what to do or say to make me feel better. Circuit’s been lonely without her being around.” Clay knew he should let that subject drop. “Is she going to be traveling with you now? You must want to keep her around.” Ty nodded. “She hasn’t had much chance to see what the circuit’s like with her teaching getting in the way. This summer will be good for her to find out.” “Why didn’t you just take her with you three weeks ago?” 93

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Clay asked, his tone sharper than he intended. “Because I wanted her to get a chance to know Mama,” came the swift reply. “Paige was all worried about how everybody was going to react to her, and I thought if she met Mama first, it’d be easier when we got swarmed on the Fourth. You know how insane it gets around here then.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “It’s not like it was easy for me, you know. I had to make my own fun so I didn’t go stir crazy.” Clay stiffened. He knew what Ty meant, but he wanted to give his brother the benefit of the doubt. He wanted to be wrong. “Make your own fun? What sort of fun have you been having?” Ty glanced at him like he’d gone stupid all of a sudden. “Have you really gone that long without a girl, Clay? You know what I mean. There’s enough buckle bunnies around the rodeo to pick and choose when the itch gets too much to handle.” Clay thought of all his excuses and justifications later. At that moment, he only knew sudden, alien rage. His hand curled into a fist, and Ty never saw it coming. One second, they were standing side by side, the next, Ty was flat on his back, his nose gushing blood, and Clay’s fist was throbbing. “What the hell was that for?” Ty demanded. He scrambled back to his feet, yanking a bandanna out of his pocket and holding it over his nose. “What the fuck’s gotten into you?” “You should be ashamed of yourself,” Clay spat. “What do you think Paige would say if she knew about your itch?” The 94

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word dripped with disgust. “What do you think Mama would say?” Confusion shifted to anger in the blink of an eye. “Don’t be throwing Mama in my face. Not today of all days.” Clay knew if anybody should be feeling shame, it was him. Picking a fight with Ty on top of their mother’s grave was the least of his sins. “Don’t get self-righteous with me. Mama loved Paige, and you admitted to fucking around behind Paige’s back.” “Those don’t mean anything. I wasn’t with any of those girls for more than a couple hours, and hell, I can’t even remember any of their names now anyway.” Clay had his fist cocked back again before he could even think. He might have cracked Ty’s jaw, but Mark caught Clay’s fist with his own hammy hand. “What the hell is going on here?” Clay looked to his older brother, then back to Ty, and dropped his arm, but he didn’t relax. “Nothing. It was nothing.” “It doesn’t look like nothing.” He turned to Ty. “Are you okay? You should get up to the house and clean yourself up.” “Yeah, good idea.” Clay’s eyes narrowed when Paige came rushing up to Ty’s side. One look at him, and she was whipping her head to stare disbelievingly at Clay. “What did you do?” she demanded. “I popped him in the nose,” Clay said, pulling away from Mark. “And he had it coming. Probably should have done it 95

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long before now.” “Had it coming? What on earth could be so important that you have to hit him at your mother’s funeral?” “The fact that he sent you up here to us so that he’d be free to fuck around with his groupies.” Under other circumstance, he wouldn’t have said it, but he was trembling with rage. Her brows shot up, and it was Ty’s turn to be under her furious scrutiny. “What?” Ty rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Clay’s full of shit and you know it. You know how scared you were of meeting everyone. And you know how much I would’ve rather had you with me.” Clay knew when Paige faced him again just who it was she believed. She thought he was making it up. Because she’d chosen to stay with her fiancé instead of him. But then she spoke, and the pain lanced through him. “I can’t believe you’d do this to Nora,” she said. “Not today.” Looping her arm around Ty’s waist, she began guiding him away from the grave. “Now let’s get you home and cleaned up.” Everybody who had witnessed the scene sent him cold looks—even Mark. Of course, none of them would understand why Clay would make up such a lie. He knew nobody would believe him, either, because Ty was the Golden Boy, the family’s little prince. And what Clay had just accused him of was unconscionable. He wasn’t surprised when they all turned away from him and followed Ty. And now Paige hated him. But maybe that was for the 96

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best. Clay dragged himself over to the chairs that were still planted in the soft earth. He sank to one in the front row and buried his face in his hands. This too shall pass. He could hear his mother’s voice on the breeze, trying to soothe him with the same words she used to pull them all together after Daddy died. But the words were hollow then, and they were hollow now. “Clay?” Ryan’s voice. Clay pushed himself to his feet. “I’m going to go check the herds.” Ryan frowned. “Aren’t they already put out to feed for the summer?” “Yes.” “That’s ten miles away, Clay. Are you going now?” “Yeah. I’ll ride up.” “I heard what happened. You can’t just…” “Leave it, Ryan.” It took him ten minutes to walk down to the barn, and another fifteen to saddle Dan and pack his saddlebags. He didn’t bother to change, or to go back to the house at all. If anybody asked, Ryan would tell them where he went. He’d come back the next evening when he could be sure everybody was gone. Clay didn’t know what he’d do with himself in the big, empty house, but he’d cross that particular bridge when he came to it. *

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By the time they got back to the house, Ty seemed to have forgotten about the incident entirely, even when Paige tried to press and find out what the fight had really been about. “Clay’s just at his end because of Mama,” he said. “It’s not anything for you to worry about.” She dropped the subject then, even though she wasn’t completely satisfied with his answer. Yes, Clay was pretty broken up about everything, but he wasn’t the type of man to resort to violence. She had never seen him act that way before, and the fact that he’d done it at Nora’s funeral mystified her. The only explanation that made sense was he’d lashed out because he was angry with her for making the choice she had, but even that didn’t sound reasonable once she was distanced from her initial shock. “Maybe it would be best if we left first thing in the morning,” she suggested, once Ty was completely cleaned up. “Everybody else is taking off tomorrow,” Ty agreed. “No reason why we can’t be the first.” “Do you want to go clean out the truck while I pack our bags?” He frowned. “Why would I need to clean out my truck?” Paige laughed. “Because I’ve seen how messy it gets when you’re on the road. And if I’m going to be stuck in the passenger seat for most of tomorrow, I don’t want my feet in empty McDonald’s bags and stale French fries.” She shoved him good-naturedly toward the bedroom. “You go start packing. I’ll take care of the truck.” “I still say it’s not messy!” he called after her. 98

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Paige shook her head and continued on downstairs. It was better that they were going. As sorry as she was her friendship with Clay had ended this way, she needed some distance from him after what he’d done. It was what they both needed, and anyway, he would find someone eventually who was emotionally available to him. She was sure of it. She caught the sympathetic glances from the others as she slipped out the front door. Clearly, they were as perplexed as she was about what was going on with Clay, but nobody was ready to approach her yet on their own to talk about it. Jan might have if she’d been in the front room, or Jeri maybe, but she heard both women back in the kitchen. That was good, because she didn’t feel like talking about it. She just wanted to get the truck ready so she and Ty could be gone first thing in the morning. Paige started with the passenger seat. Ty used it as a dumping ground when he was on the road, and it was littered with fast food receipts, torn cellophane, and stale French fries wedged into the crack. Grabbing a crumpled bag from the floor, she tossed all the debris, making a mental note to bring out the dustbuster when she was done to vacuum up all the crumbs. Next came the floor, and another discarded sack was used for the trash. It didn’t take long to clear, thank God, but when she reached beneath the seat to make sure she had everything, her hand encountered something soft. Paige pulled it out with a frown. Her blood immediately chilled. 99

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It was a black thong. She didn’t wear thongs. “He sent you up here to us so that he’d be free to fuck around with his groupies.” Clay had been telling the truth. Oh, God. What had she done? “Need some help?” Ryan’s voice cut through the dusk, and Paige glanced up in time to see him round the front of the truck. His gaze caught the scrap of fabric dangling in her fingers before she could crumple it into her hand, but she knew he saw enough. “Where’s Clay?” she asked. She sounded breathless. Of course she did. Everything felt like it was constricting around her. “He’s out checking on the herds.” “Where’s that?” Ryan shook his head. “That’s ten miles off, Paige. He won’t be back tonight. Is that what I think it is?” She only had the fortitude to nod before grabbing the trash and marching for the house. She couldn’t do anything about Clay. But she could sure as hell do something about Ty.

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CHAPTER 8 The day had been hot, but in the sanctuary of the stables, there were cool, dark corners Paige could curl up into and simply think without interruption. She was there when Ryan and Brad left, and she was there when Mark and Jeri came in to say good-bye. When Jan found her, there was a long discussion about what she thought she was going to do, but it ended with both women frustrated—Jan, because she was the sort to need definitive answers, and Paige, because talking about it with the one person she trusted didn’t offer any more answers. So she stayed there and waited, hoping they would come by the time Clay returned. 101

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She also hoped he didn’t promptly kick her out before she had the chance to have her say. When the sound of hooves echoed outside the walls, Paige scrambled to her feet, wiping the grit from her bottom as she headed for the doors. The contrast from dark to light, even late afternoon sunshine, made her blink more than once, and she cupped her hand over her eyes in order to scan the horizon. She didn’t have to look far. Clay pulled Dan to a halt as soon as they made eye contact. “I thought you and Ty would be gone by now.” “Ty is gone. We need to talk.” Clay dismounted and tugged on the reins, leading Dan into the cool barn. “No, we don’t.” He didn’t even look at her as he passed. With a shake of her hand, Paige rushed after him, speeding up in order to cut him off. “Will you listen to me for five seconds? I found out about Ty’s cheating. You were right.” Clay walked around her, and she was forced to get out of Dan’s way. “Well, I’m not really surprised about being right, seeing as how he told me himself.” He was walking away again. Damn it, all she wanted was to talk. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” she said, scurrying to catch up. His long strides meant she was doing double-time to stay at his side. “I thought…” “I know what you thought,” Clay said flatly, tying Dan to the post. “You thought I would make up a disgusting lie about my brother at my mother’s grave to hurt you. I know exactly 102

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what you think of me.” “Tell me how I could believe you,” she demanded. “Tell me how I could let myself believe the man I’ve known for three weeks and not the one who’s been in my life for nine months.” “And now you have what you need to prove I’m not a liar?” he asked icily. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. She deserved that one. “I should have believed you. I know that. Hell, I should’ve followed my heart and stayed with you that night. I certainly wanted to. But I thought…” Her words trailed off. Clay was barely looking at her, his attention fixed on a spot over her head somewhere, and his eyes gleamed with hurt. This wasn’t going to work. She wasn’t sure why she’d thought she could fix what she’d messed up. But at least she’d tried. “I can’t go back and change anything,” she said. “And I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m sorry I walked away, and I’m sorry I made an already terrible day even worse. It’s probably for the best I’m not going to be in this family any more. I haven’t done anybody any good since I arrived.” Clay turned away and jerked the cinches of Dan’s saddle free. He seemed so focused on his task that Paige thought he was going to leave the argument there—that he would ignore her until she got tired of waiting for a reply and simply leave. She was ready to when he finally said, “You know that’s not true.” 103

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Her heart leapt. The tone of his voice was softer, even if he wasn’t looking at her yet. “I hurt you, and I hurt Ty when I broke things off.” He looked at her over Dan’s back for a second before glancing away again. “Yeah, you did. But you helped Mama. And you helped me.” She risked taking a step closer. “Did I really help you?” she asked. “Because that night wasn’t just for you, you know? I wanted it. I meant everything I said.” “Yes, you really helped me.” His head was still down, and it was almost impossible to hear him. “For a little while, I wasn’t alone. I got to share something with somebody important to me. It was worth it, even if you wouldn’t stay.” Important. He thought she was important to him. She had known that someplace inside, of course; he wouldn’t have asked her to stay with him that night if she wasn’t. But hearing the words was entirely different. It meant there was a chance. She didn’t have to give up if she was willing to fight for him. And she was. It was why she’d stuck around so long, waiting for him to return. She had been ready to fight even when she wasn’t sure she had any hope at all. Paige waited until he was done removing the saddle before coming around the front of the horse. “I made a mistake that night,” she said. “I made the wrong choice.” “Even though you’ve only known me for three weeks, and you were with him for nine months?” She nodded, remembering the fight with Ty when she’d 104

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told him it was over. He’d said things then, things she would never have believed could come out of his mouth. It made her decision much easier. “I was only with Ty. I know you, Clay.” Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she rested her hand over his where it rested on the stall door. “That’s been my biggest mistake. For not remembering you’re the most honorable man I’ve ever met. All you’ve done since I met you was look out for me. I should never have thought you’d try to hurt me with those kind of lies.” He looked at her like he wasn’t sure if he had heard her correctly. “Come on,” he said softly, gesturing for her to leave the stall. She followed him as he carried the saddle to the tack room, her stomach in knots. She had laid it all on the line, and he could still tell her to leave. She had gone too far, and there was no coming back. He placed the saddle on its hook with deliberation, his lips thin, his brow furrowed. When he was done, he turned to her, backing her against the wall. “Paige…” He took her by the shoulders, his face inches from hers. “Do you want to stay here with me?” There was only one way to answer that. “I love you,” she whispered. “And being with you here feels like home.” Clay studied her face intently, like he was looking for any sign of hesitance, or dishonesty. She didn’t look away from his perusal, even when she thought the seconds had turned to minutes, and once again, he was tormenting her with his 105

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silence. And then something on his face shifted, and his eyes softened to the familiar green she had been looking for since he returned. He tilted his head and his lips touched hers in a soft kiss and electrified her skin. “I love you so much,” he whispered. Her breath caught at the tender confession. It was more than she’d expected, more than she probably deserved, and she was terrified if she moved or spoke or did anything that it would shatter the illusion of Clay standing so close to her, telling her what she wanted most desperately to hear. It was her turn to regard him, drinking in every detail from the dust that still clung to his brow from his ride on Dan to the small scar at the corner of his mouth. Slowly, she lifted her hand to his face, fingertips gliding over his cheek. “Can I stay?” she murmured. Clay gripped the back of her neck, his fingers massaging her tense muscles. “Please stay. I don’t want you to leave.” He kissed her again, though there was more of an edge to it now. “I don’t know what I’d do if you left.” There was so much she wanted to say to him, so many things she wanted to ask. But more than that was the need to touch him and allow herself the luxury of knowing he was there, he wanted her, he wanted her to stay. He loved her. “We only had three weeks,” she murmured, her voice incredulous as her hands fluttered over his face, over his mouth, along his shoulders. She itched to peel his shirt off him. Was it too soon? “It doesn’t seem long enough for my whole life to change around. But it did. Because of you.” Her 106

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eyes flew back to meet his. “Because of Nora.” “How do you think I feel? My whole world has flipped upside down in the past seventy-two hours,” Clay murmured. “How did Mama change your world around?” “She showed me what love could be. And the longer I stayed here, the longer I was around you, the more I suspected what I felt for Ty wasn’t the same.” Her fingers played with the buttons on his shirt, her gaze fixed on his chest. “She showed me you didn’t have to settle. Which is why I didn’t when Ty tried to tell me those girls meant nothing to him.” “You know, he wasn’t lying. Those girls probably didn’t mean a single thing to him. He doesn’t know better. Maybe that’s partly my fault. Nobody ever made him see the world beyond himself.” He kissed her forehead, her temple, her cheek, the top of her nose. His lips were a little chapped, and she could smell a night of sleeping on his saddle and grass clinging to his clothes. She tilted her head back, hungry for more of his kisses, but needing one more question answered. “Will this between us hurt what you have with your family? Because I don’t want to be the reason for that.” Clay took a deep breath. “No, I don’t think so. We’ve hurt each other a lot over the years, we know how to forgive each other. That’s part of being a family, I guess.” It wasn’t a promise of any kind of certainty, but Paige knew how important they were to Clay. He would do whatever he could to save them from hurt. And hadn’t he already proven he wanted the same thing for her? That was the real 107

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truth behind his declaration at Nora’s grave. He wanted Paige to know the man she was marrying, to save her the anguish of finding out later. Because he knew what honesty and devotion meant to her. “I’m so glad you’re back,” she said. Plucking the hat from his head, she tossed it aside, then reached back up to push the sweat-damp hair from his brow. “Last night was the longest one of my life.” “What happened?” For a moment, she was confused. “With…Ty?” Paige tested. When Clay nodded, she sighed. “I was cleaning out the truck to get ready for packing it up, and I found a thong wedged under the seat.” Clay’s lips twisted. “Let me guess. First, he told you it wasn’t his. Then when he realized you weren’t buying it, he tried to charm and smile his way out of the problem. And finally, he threw a tantrum.” “You know him better than I do, because I never even saw the tantrum coming. I just…I’ve never seen him act like that before.” Her face screwed up. “And I don’t want to marry a little boy. I don’t care how charming he is. And I told him that.” Clay buried his face against her neck and ran his hands down her arms. “It was the longest night of my life, too. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” His mouth moved against her skin, caressing her with his lips. She shivered, wondering how the very lightest contact could affect her so much. “I slept on the couch,” Paige murmured. She was tired of 108

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not being able to feel him and settled her hands at his waist, almost delicately pulling his shirt free of his jeans. “Every time I managed to actually fall asleep, I’d think of you out there somewhere and wish I was there instead.” Clay mimicked her movement, prying her shirt free. His fingers splayed across her stomach and ribs, and he began to massage her lightly. “I don’t think I slept at all. Everything from the past few days is sort of a blur. Well, almost everything.” Before she could ask what he meant, his mouth was on hers again. If she thought she sensed an edge before, she knew she was feeling it now. He was hungry for her. Starving, if his kiss was anything to go by. His grip tightened, and he pressed closer to her, his chest solid against hers, his thigh fitting between her legs. His skin was hot where her fingers glided over the taut muscles, and Paige slipped them around his back, nails raking down either side of his spine as she ground against his leg. When Clay gasped against her mouth, she ran her tongue along his lower lip and over the dark stubble shading his jaw. “Please don’t tell me you’re only remembering the bad stuff,” she murmured. “I don’t want you torturing yourself.” “I’m only remembering the stuff that involves you. Talking to you, kissing you, watching you. You were really the only thing I could see since…” She cut him off with a kiss. He didn’t need to finish the sentence for her to know what he meant. But she didn’t want him dwelling on Nora’s death right then. He’d done enough 109

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brooding on it over the past few days, and while she knew it was going to take time to resolve his grief about the loss, a few minutes now wouldn’t take away from that. Nora wouldn’t want her to waste a second she had with the man she loved. Nora would want her to do exactly what she was doing. Paige dragged her nails around Clay’s sides again, this time emerging from beneath his shirt to start undoing the buttons. “I’m beginning to wish I wore a skirt today,” she teased. Clay looked surprised for a moment, like it never occurred to him she would start pawing at his pants, even as her shirt was lifted nearly to her chin. But then he smiled and unbuttoned her jeans. “But I love the way you look in your jeans.” She reached the top button and pushed the shirt down his shoulders, forcing him to let go of her clothes for a moment in order to strip it from his arms. “Is that why you encouraged me to go buy more?” “Yes, ma’am. I suppose it wasn’t very gentlemanly to check you out. Repeatedly.” Her pants freed, they fell to her feet, and she quickly toed off her right shoe and stepped out of the material. Clay’s hands went directly to her ass, cupping her flesh and squeezing it gently. “I don’t think anybody would blame me.” Paige grabbed the hem of her shirt and whipped it over her head, followed quickly by her bra. “Will you blame me if I say I’ve had fantasies about you and me in this stable ever since I 110

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caught you that morning before my first ride?” She pressed their upper bodies together, her nipples aching where they dragged across his hard chest, and licked along his collarbone. “That’s probably not very ladylike, either.” “No, it’s not,” he agreed, but he didn’t seem very worried about that, as her underwear followed the same path her pants took. His hands were rough and hot on her skin, and he tilted his head to kiss every bit of her he wasn’t caressing with his fingers. “But I love you anyway.” “Don’t stop saying that.” Paige trembled as his callused fingertips circled her hard nipples, her eyes fluttering shut as she threaded her fingers through the long strands of hair at his nape. “I don’t think I could ever get enough of hearing it.” “I won’t get tired of telling you,” he promised against her mouth before he claimed it again in another searing kiss that made her toes curl. She sensed there was more—more passion, more desire, more everything—just below the surface. It seemed each kiss uncovered a bit more, like he was wary of exposing himself all at once. She tightened her fingers on the back of his neck, pushing her tongue deeper into his mouth and forcing him to deepen the kiss. When he began to ease away, she refused to let him go. If she had to kiss him all day in order to convince him he could trust her not to hurt him again, Paige would do it. Curling her bare leg around the back of his calf, she dropped one hand from his nape to trail down his chest, circling a flat nipple before gliding further downward. Clay made a sound in the back of his throat when she slipped her fingers inside his 111

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jeans, just glancing across the very tip of his hard cock. Clay thrust against her hand, and she slid the flat of her palm over the sensitive head, spreading the thin pre-come over his skin. He pushed his hips forward again, and the pressure of his thigh against her pussy was enough to make her whimper. She slid her palm over his slick skin again, and he jerked forward, like she expected. Every inch of her was screaming for more. She needed him inside her again, wanted to wrap her legs around him as he fucked her into the wall, but this teasing game was still intoxicating. “I want to know everything about you,” she murmured against his mouth. “Every inch of you, every desire you’ve ever had, everything you were too afraid to ask for.” She pulled her hand free of his jeans and smoothed it down over his arousal, hard and sure so that he’d feel it along every nerve ending. “I don’t want you to ever feel lonely again, Clay.” Clay stepped back, and she immediately tried to pull him back to her until she realized he was unbuckling his belt. Once the leather strap was free, he pushed his pants to his ankles. She wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing him to lift her feet off the ground. Her legs immediately went around his hips, her entire body quivering with anticipation. He brushed a tendril of hair from her face, and everywhere her skin touched his burned, but for the moment, she forgot about everything except the light in his eyes. “I haven’t felt lonely since I met you.” There was no time for answering before his hips were moving, changing angles as the tip of his cock dragged along 112

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her wet pussy. Paige shuddered as she pulled Clay back to her mouth, her lower lip trembling. “I love you,” she said. Then all she wanted was to taste him, drink him in while he thrust forward, her legs tightening around his slim hips in order to draw him in as deeply as she could. They both sighed once he was completely buried. “Did I mention how much I love the way we fit together?” she breathed. He put one hand against the wall above her shoulder, the other arm still firm around her waist, and shifted back, then forward. As soon as he was fully inside her again, she clenched, holding him tightly. Clay was still, only moving again once she relaxed her muscles. Paige tensed with each shallow stroke, relishing the way he felt inside of her, the way he felt against her, the way his hard muscles trembled as he held himself back, following her lead. But each pause grew shorter and shorter, until with a yelp, she turned the reins back to him, simply clutching his shoulders as he began to pound into her. As each thrust jolted through her, the rough wood scraped at Paige’s back, sharpening the pleasure with tiny prickles along her spine. She was pinned by more than his powerful body. Clay’s eyes never left her face, even when he leaned down to capture her mouth again in a long, languorous kiss. “Don’t stop,” she repeated, over and over and over again. Sometimes they were lost in the kisses he continued to steal. Sometimes the words echoed so loudly inside her head Paige wasn’t sure she’d actually said them out loud. But sometimes, 113

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she knew they were uttered. Those were the times he quickened, or caught her eyes with his own, or murmured an agreement that made her shiver with delight. Paige tried to stave off reaching her climax. The night before had been long and fraught with memories of him and the way he touched her, and the way he tasted, and the way his breath warmed her skin when he kissed her. Now that her fantasy was a reality, and Clay was finally holding her, and she could give herself completely to him without guilt or fear, she didn’t want it to end. She wanted this moment to stretch and wrap around them. But then he dipped his head, allowed his lips to skim across her earlobe, and whispered, “I love you, Paige.” Everything shattered. Her body convulsed as colors too many to name exploded brilliant and bright behind her eyes. She squeezed them shut as the electricity seared across her skin, but all it did was make her world spin, make everything teeter and toss as her nails scratched across his sweat-slicked shoulders. Vaguely, she heard her voice, hoarse and broken. And the words tumbling from her mouth had never felt so right. His name. Declarations of love. Promises she intended to keep for eternity if he let her. Ending with… “Yours, Clay. Only yours.” Clay brushed his mouth against hers, capturing the tail-end of her promise. He coaxed her into another deep kiss until she wanted to make all the same declarations again, and her heart was clamoring loudly in her ears when he finally broke away. 114

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“I want to take you up to the house now and take you to bed. Our bed.” Her smile was slow and sure. “Only if I get to wake up next to you.” Clay returned her smile. “Every day,” he murmured.

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CHAPTER 9 The nights were just turning colder, lasting a little bit longer, and the days were tinted orange, yellow, and red, leaves dancing on a breeze that carried a hint of winter. Clay barely noticed the passage of time. It seemed like he went to bed one late spring night, and woke up one early fall morning, the morning of his wedding, a completely changed man. Clay had been Mark’s best man, and all he remembered about that experience was stress. Awful, gut-twisting stress. He had vowed then he would not have a huge wedding with hundreds of guests and thousands of opportunities for mistakes, but as soon as Paige accepted his proposal, he realized he would submit to anything she wanted. If she 116

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thought the entire state of Montana needed to witness their nuptials, he would personally round up every last man, woman, and child to deliver them to the church on time. Fortunately, Paige didn’t want a wedding that size. She had been content with a small guest-list, only including immediate family and personal friends. Clay would have also agreed to a blow-out that would end all blow-outs, but Paige wanted an intimate dinner with their guests. The one thing Clay wanted to be in charge of was their honeymoon. He happily turned over everything about the wedding to Paige’s whims, but he wanted to give her a good wedding night. Before he even had the chance to start looking at brochures and dreaming about exotic locations, Paige gently informed him she couldn’t leave. There was nobody to take over her classes in town, and though she only taught three days a week, he knew her students needed her. So he had quietly relinquished his exotic plans in favor of something more local. Paige had hired somebody to film the wedding, and Clay was extremely grateful because he didn’t remember any of it. He had been struck first by how beautiful she was in her creamy dress, and then he had been struck by the fact that this beautiful woman wanted to marry him. She was going to spend the rest of her life with him, and she was going to be the mother of his children, and he was going to wake up with her in his arms every morning, so how was he supposed to pay attention to the ceremony itself? He responded when he was supposed to, and did everything exactly right, but it was all on 117

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automatic pilot. The reception afterward was a bit more real, but then Clay was absorbed with the fact that she was his. The difference between intention and fact. The only thing that pierced his haze of wonder was Ty approaching him. Shaking his hand. Pulling him into a hug. Patting Clay’s back and saying, “Congratulations.” Clay knew then they would be okay, even if there was still a little hurt between them. Clay came back to his full senses on the drive home. As they pulled to a stop outside the house, he took Paige’s hand and brought it to his lips, turning it over to kiss her wrist. “Did I mention how beautiful you look today?” She watched him through her lashes, an amused smile curving her mouth. In the darkness, her face was shadowed, but the porch light framed her silhouette in gold, the loose waves she’d pinned back for the reception already falling around her face. “I think it might have come up once or twice,” she murmured. “Did I tell you how dead sexy you look in a tuxedo, Mr. Putnam?” He kissed her palm and the pad of each finger. “You might have. I don’t remember much besides how beautiful you are, saying I do, and kissing the bride.” Her hand curved to cup his face, and her smile softened. “I saw you with Ty when I was dancing with Garrett. Is everything okay?” “Everything’s good,” Clay assured her. But the vague answer didn’t satisfy Paige. “What did he 118

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say?” “Congratulations.” Her eyes widened. “Really?” There was the shape of hope in her voice, in that single word query. Though she didn’t talk about it any more, Clay knew she still worried about the strife between the brothers. The way she cared so much only made him love her more. Clay nodded. “Yes. I predict he’ll be here next spring, helping with the foals like he does every year.” He kissed her palm once more. “It’s cold out here. Let’s get you inside.” He jumped out and circled the front to open the passenger door. Offering his hand, he helped her out of the tall truck. Paige laced her fingers through his, but within a step, she pulled him to a stop. Curling his arm around her waist, she turned them both to face the front porch, leaning back against his chest. “Can I just take a minute and look?” Her breath made faint plumes in the crisp night air, and the back of her head pressed into him as she tilted it to look up at the house. “I just…this is our home, Clay,” she said softly. “Officially now.” Clay pressed his lips to the top of her head, looking at the house with fresh eyes. “It is. And there’s nobody else I’d want to share it with.” She was the one to start moving first, taking his hand to pull him up the porch stairs, then moving out of his way as he fumbled with the keys. “Nobody’s coming out to the house tomorrow, right? I told Jan she better keep Cody away, and I threatened Mark with bodily harm if he thought he was going 119

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to stop by and ruin the one day I get with you.” “Oh, really? I told him he could stop by. I mean, he’s only in town for special occasions, and that stallion of his…” The withering look she sent him ruined the joke and he smiled. “No, nobody’s coming to the house tomorrow. It’s going to be just the two of us.” Paige watched him as he unlocked the house, smiling when he held the door open for her to enter first. Her smile shifted into surprise as soon as she crossed the threshold and saw the flickering candles trailing up the stairs to the upper floor. It looked better than he’d imagined. He had to remember to thank Jan for leaving the reception early to come out and light them. “What did you do?” she breathed. Clay smiled. “Follow and find out.” Paige looked at him questioningly, but he smiled and nodded at the stairs. Carefully, she hurried up to the second floor, following the white pillars of candles past the bedroom they had shared for the past several months to the master bedroom. Once they had set a date, it made perfect sense to Clay to move into the larger bedroom. She slowly pushed the door open to reveal a room illuminated by dozens of candles. Her hands immediately went to her mouth, and her eyes were as large as saucers. Paige hesitated at the door and Clay put his hand in the small of her back and gently pushed her forward. They hadn’t touched the room after Nora’s death, but when he’d made his decision to do this for Paige, Clay had 120

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commissioned an old friend to create an entirely new bedroom set. As soon as Paige had left the previous night, every male hand he knew descended on the house to switch everything out in time for the wedding night. It had taken no time at all, even as heavy as the furniture was, and thankfully, Paige hadn’t questioned why so many of the men seemed hungover at the wedding. The beer that had flowed after the move had been profuse. But the room looked amazing. Even Clay thought so. The fresh scent of wood mingled with the candles, and the flickering light detailed the polished lines of the new dressers, the smooth curve of the bedstead. In the middle of the headboard were two carved trees, their branches entwined, standing tall. Standing together. Slowly, Paige drifted into the room, trailing fingers over the top of the vanity as she made her way to the bed. “It’s so gorgeous,” she murmured. She traced the raised branches with an awed touch, and the eyes that looked back at him were luminous, shiny with tears. “You did this?” “In a way,” Clay said, joining her beside the bed. “I wish I could take credit for building everything, but I did help with the design. And the heavy lifting.” “I think Nora would approve.” She leaned back against him. “I know I do.” He took her by the shoulders and turned her around. “I’m glad. I wanted you to have something in this house that’s yours.” “You’re mine.” 121

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“Now you have two things. Me and a bedroom set.” Paige laughed, and it was like the finest music. Throwing her arms around his neck, she surprised him with a long kiss. “Thank you,” she said. “But now my gift to you is going to look really lame.” It never occurred to him Paige would get him a gift. Didn’t she realize she was already giving him everything he wanted? “No, it’s not. I’m going to love it.” “Come on.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room, dragging him back downstairs and toward the kitchen. Instead of stopping, she went straight to the back door and led him outside, back into the cool night. They didn’t go far, though. Because there, draped over the rail of the back porch, was the most beautiful saddle he’d ever seen. “You’re not the only one who can get things made,” she said, relinquishing his hand. “I asked Cody to help me get the saddle maker out here to measure Chief, since he doesn’t have a saddle yet. It should be a perfect fit for the pair of you. Hopefully.” The same impulse that had prompted Paige to touch the bed earlier moved him now. He couldn’t resist running his fingers over the new, smooth leather. Silver grommets punctuated either side of the horn, reflecting the light from the bulb behind him. He felt the words in the fender before his eyes adjusted enough to see them, and he crouched low, tracing the inscription with his fingertips. Real love stories never have endings. 122

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Curious, he checked the other side. His initials, paired with hers. C.A.P P.M.P. She hadn’t stopped with the saddle. Resting beside it was a new saddle blanket and a matching bridle. Tooled into the leather of the cheekpiece was Chief. “It’ll fit,” Clay murmured. He didn’t even need to doublecheck the measurements. He could tell it was perfect. “God, Paige, this is…amazing.” “You didn’t suspect?” When he glanced back, her fingers were twisting in her skirt, a sure sign of her uncertainty. “I was worried asking for Cody’s help. He’s loyal to you to a fault.” “He never said a word,” Clay assured her, turning to take her in his arms. “I imagine Jan threatened his life…or something else of his.” “Will it be okay on the porch overnight? Or do you want to take it down to the stable while I go get out of this dress?” Clay made a show of looking up to the clear sky, and then turning his gaze back to her. “The saddle will be fine. I think I want to help you get out of that dress.” With a coy smile, she took his hand to lead him back into the house. Her hair hung down her back, drawing his gaze downward, and he couldn’t help but watch the way the fabric hung over her ass as she walked up the stairs. “I know you’re checking me out,” she said without turning around. There was a smile in her voice. “And here I thought it was just me in jeans that got you fixated on my bottom.” Clay grinned. “Honey, it doesn’t matter what you wear. 123

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I’m always going to check you out.” “So that’s why you married me. For a twenty-four hour free pass to ogle whenever you want.” He grabbed her at the top of the stairs and pulled her back against him. “I could ogle you whenever I wanted anyway.” Paige laughed and reached between their bodies to run her hand down the line of his erection. “So tell me again why I married you?” Clay brushed his fingers over her breast, seeking out her nipple through the material of her dress. “Hmm, you’ll have to tell me, sweetheart. I’ve been trying to figure that out all day.” “It’s a puzzler, that’s for sure,” she teased. Grabbing his waistband, Paige broke free from his embrace and dragged him toward their new bedroom. “But we’ve got all night to figure it out, and a new bed to break in. So I think we need to get started.” Clay didn’t want to argue. As much as he loved the way she looked in her dress, he couldn’t wait to see her out of it. He smoothed his fingers over the back of her neck and down the thin, lace straps clinging to her shoulders. He caught the zipper between his thumb and forefinger, and slowly pulled it down the length of her back, revealing her pale skin. She glowed golden in the dancing candlelight. Her hair hung in golden waves as well, and he freed it from the clip holding it back from her face, allowing it to fall to her shoulders. Paige slipped the dress off her shoulders, mindful of the delicate fabric as she carefully stepped out of its slim skirt. “Let me get this hung up so it doesn’t get ruined,” she 124

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murmured. When Clay caught her arms and bent to nuzzle her neck, she moaned and tilted her head to the side. “At least let me get it over the back of the chair. Then you can do anything to me that you want.” Clay took the dress from her hand without looking up from her neck and tossed it over the back of the nearest chair. He scraped his teeth across the nape of her neck to distract her from the shabby treatment of her dress. When she didn’t say anything about the dress, both hands returned to her body, and he unsnapped her bra. As soon as she was free from its confines, his fingers went to her nipples. Her skin hardened into points against him, and she dropped her head back, moaning softly. “Do you know you do this all the time?” Paige toed off her shoes as she wriggled out of her half-slip. “I’m always the first one naked.” “That’s because you’re prettier than I am,” Clay murmured, his hands sliding down her stomach, and coming to a rest on her hips. “I think you’re plenty pretty.” Twisting in his arms, Paige looked up at him with eyes made almost translucent by the candles, her hands coming up to his bolo. It was hard not to force her to go faster as she slowly slid it free, but Clay kept his hands still, relishing the heat of her, while she added it to the pile of discarded clothing. “I love my new bedroom,” she said. Her hands pushed the jacket off his shoulders and then set to work on the buttons of 125

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his white shirt. “I envision lots and lots of hours spent in here.” Clay sighed as she slipped the final button free and then pushed his shirt down his shoulders. He had felt awkward in the tuxedo, much preferring his work shirt and jeans, but he never said as much to Paige. She was patient with him, but getting married in jeans—even his dress jeans—might have been pushing things. As soon as the shirt was gone, he wrapped his arms around her, desperate to feel her soft skin against his chest. He never could get enough of the way she felt. He had never touched anything so soft in his life, and when she gripped the back of his neck and drew him into a kiss, his body lit up like one of the candles burning at their feet. He could live to be a hundred and not get tired of the way Paige kissed him. Sometimes, they were slow and deep, kisses that made his toes curl and the hair stand up on the back of his neck. Sometimes, they were frantic, when he’d get home after a late day and she’d be at the front door, her arms around his neck before he had a chance to breathe. And then there were times like now, when it was somewhere in the middle, long, probing kisses where she melted against him and made him forget where they were or what might be coming up. “I am not going to be the only naked one here,” Paige breathed. Clay groaned when she raked her teeth down to his shoulder, her hands dropping to his waist to fumble with his 126

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belt. She worked it blindly as she nibbled along his chest, stopping at a nipple to swirl her tongue around it. At the same time she pulled the leather free, Paige bit the hard tip, sending a fresh jolt straight to his cock. As soon as he was unbuckled and unzipped, Clay sat on the edge of the bed and pulled his boots off. Tossing the pants and boots aside, he grasped her wrist and pulled her to the bed beside him. He pushed her back to the mattress, propping himself on his elbow so he could study her form in detail. He knew every inch of her. But now it was different. They were different together. When she took his arm, he moved to straddle her, his palms on either side of her shoulders, her thighs between his knees, the tip of his cock brushing against her silk underwear. Clay started at the hollow of her throat, swirling the tip of his tongue over her salty skin, before moving down her body. Paige giggled when he deliberately licked over a ticklish spot at the side of her breast. “I win.” “You win?” She lifted her head and gazed down her body at him, her eyes twinkling. “You’re naked first. I still have underwear on.” “So you do,” Clay murmured, his fingers going between her thighs. He felt the heat of her flesh through the thin material, and they were already damp. His finger slipped beneath the cloth to slide between her lips. When he brushed against her clit, it jerked against his finger and she moaned softly. Smiling, he slid lower down her body to trace the hem 127

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of the panties with his tongue. Her hand came to rest on the back of his head, her fingers toying with his hair. Clay dipped again into her pussy as he licked down over the silk, tracing around the opening as she began to squirm against the bed. “Aren’t you going to take them off?” Paige panted. “No.” He scraped his teeth over the silk, applying just enough pressure to make her squirm again. “I don’t think so.” He pulled his fingers away from her and gripped her hips with both hands, holding her firmly against the mattress. She strained against him, and tried to push him away to pull at the underwear, but he caught her wrists and firmly put them at her side. “Clay…” But her protestation was cut off in a yelp when he sank his teeth into her covered mound, staying like that while his tongue worked over her clit, and around, and over again. The cry settled down into a continuous whimper, her hands balled into fists, and Paige lifted her legs up to curl them around his shoulders, holding him in place. Clay closed his eyes and concentrated on the way he could feel her flesh tremble and jerk beneath his mouth. He liked the weight of her legs against his shoulders, and loved the variety of sounds spilling from her lips, like she didn’t know if she wanted to moan, or gasp, or say his name, or scream—she was always vocal, like her pleasure needed an outlet, or she would split. He pushed his tongue against her clit, licking her with hard, deliberate strokes. 128

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Paige rocked against his face, grinding harder and harder into his tongue and teeth as her breathing became ragged. The muscles twitched in her wrists where he trapped her hands. She felt like a wild foal, desperate for freedom. The only thing that would have made this better would have been seeing her face, but there wasn’t enough money in the world to make Clay stop long enough in order to look up. Her thighs tensed around his head, and in the next breath, a hoarse cry ripped from her throat, the fresh tang of her juices dampening the fabric against his tongue as she shuddered through her orgasm. Clay alternated sucking at the silk and her clit as she crested and then came down, until finally, the muscles clamped around his shoulders relaxed. Grinning, Clay crawled up her body, sliding his body against hers. “That was your prize.” He pressed his mouth against hers in a hard kiss. “For winning.” Her hands smoothed up his back as she returned the caress. “Maybe that’s why I married you,” she said when he pulled back. Her pupils had swallowed almost all traces of her amber irises, her desire flooding through her body. “Maybe it’s because you’re such a giving sort.” “Maybe I am, but only because I love to see you smile.” Paige pushed back a stubborn lock of hair that kept falling across his brow. “You’ve made me smile ever since I first got here.” “That’s why I married you.” He rolled onto his back and pulled her with him, her breasts pressed against his chest. He gripped her ass, thrusting his hips forward to grind his 129

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throbbing cock against her. “So I can keep that streak alive.” Bracing her hands on his shoulders, Paige pushed up, sitting more firmly against him. “Do you really not remember much of today? Because it really was perfect.” Clay smiled sheepishly. “Probably not as much as you remember.” “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget it.” Her thighs were warm around his hips, and the way she had her arms positioned pushed her breasts together so invitingly that Clay’s mouth watered. “I should probably thank you properly for it all.” “Thank me?” It was on the tip of Clay’s tongue to tell her he hadn’t done anything except show up and try not to get in anybody’s way, but he remembered she was always very generous with her gratitude. “Yes, maybe you should.” Catching her lower lip between her teeth, Paige slithered down the length of his body, dragging the hard tips of her nipples across his flushed skin. She bowed her head to let her mouth take the same trail, and her legs disappeared from around his hips, the floor creaking faintly as she got off the bed entirely. Clay propped himself up on his elbows in order to watch her first lick around his navel, then grasp his cock at the base. Her soft sigh made goose bumps erupt along his skin. Before they could go away, she sucked the head between her full lips. Clay bit his bottom lip as he watched Paige’s mouth close around his shaft. Her cheeks were flushed, and her hair was a 130

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tousled mess of curls and waves, and she looked at him with wide eyes, holding his gaze as she moved lower and lower. He gripped the quilt beneath him, his fingers twisting into the thick material as his breath caught in his throat. Before she swallowed him completely, she began to pull away, scraping her teeth gently along the top of his cock until her lips were resting on his crown once again. He groaned when she dipped her tongue into the slit. Paige claimed to love the way he tasted, which always surprised Clay, no matter how many times she said it. But then she probed the opening again, and any more debate on the matter was lost because all he felt was the sensation of her tight lips around his length as she slid back down, the shivers she sent down his spine when she didn’t stop, the sounds she made when she inhaled deep through her nose and buried him in her throat. Sharp pleasure swept through him as her throat constricted around his head. Her tongue moved around his shaft, and her mouth had never felt so hot, or so amazing. The tips of her hair brushed against his thighs and balls, tickling him, but far from distracting him from the desire now coursing through his body, it only intensified it. He took a deep breath from the heavy, heated air, and whatever spare thought he was capable of swirled in his mind and faded away. He collapsed onto the mattress, closing his eyes and savoring every sensation. Paige didn’t wait to slide back up his shaft, nor did she pause before going back down. Again, she swallowed, and again, it felt like the world was spinning out from beneath 131

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him, only for the process to repeat itself when she sucked back up his cock. And sucked back down. Her fingers caressed his balls, stroking in small circles. When she slipped her other hand beneath his ass, digging into the taut muscle, Clay bucked deeper into her mouth. She took advantage of it to scrape her teeth one last time along his shaft, and then everything exploded, her name a ragged cry as he shot deep into her throat. He looked up just in time to watch her throat work as she swallowed. He didn’t look away again as she lapped at his cock, slowly, languorously licking him clean. Once his head and shaft was clean of come, and he was nearly fully erect again, she slid up her body and straddled his hips once again. He reached for her, burying his hand in her hair and pulled her down to claim her mouth. He chased the salty hint of come on her tongue and lips, deepening the kiss until he couldn’t taste anything except her. “Thank you for our wonderful wedding,” she murmured against his mouth. “Thank you for having me,” he said, always aware of how lucky he was that she came into his life, the she wanted to stay with him. She pushed herself up and smiled down at him. “So have we figured out why I married you yet?” Clay ran his hands down her body in a light caress. “Because you love me as much as I love you?” “Could be.” Rolling off, Paige crawled to the head of the 132

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bed, reaching to grab Clay’s hand and pull him up to lie next to her. She wriggled out of her panties and tossed them aside, then hooked her leg over his so that his cock brushed against her pussy. “Could be because I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you in it. Because I figured out a long time ago that the only man I could ever belong to is you.” She had told him so before. When she accepted his proposal. During the wedding itself. But hearing them now still made his heart seem too big for his chest, still made him warm and flushed, still surprised him a little. He was never great with words, and when his emotions ran this high, he was even worse. So he did the next best thing to telling her how much she meant to him. He showed her. Pulling her closer, he pressed his cock against her. With a shift of his hips, he pushed into her tight passage. Once he was fully sheathed in her body, he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her with all the mute love he possessed. The way she responded, opening up beneath him with a soft moan, told him she understood his message.

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EPILOGUE Seventeen Months Later Sleep was precious. Though it was better than when she’d first come home from the hospital, Paige still got tired by the middle of the afternoon, doing everything she could to hang in there until Clay came in from working. For the first couple weeks, Jan had stopped by around lunchtime to help her out, but as soon as she thought she could handle it by herself, Paige told her it wasn’t necessary. Women had babies every single day. She could do this, too. Still, when Clay had come home early that day and coaxed 134

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her into taking a nap, Paige hadn’t refused. Dinner was in the crockpot—her new best friend ever since her third trimester— and an hour to make up for the lost sleep the night before was a godsend. She fell asleep as soon as she hit the pillow, and when she opened her eyes, the digital clock read 5:23. She bolted upright. Her breasts ached, and the front of her T-shirt was wet. She’d slept through a feeding. Hurriedly, she changed her shirt. Nothing was coming through the baby monitor, which meant Clay had to have her downstairs. Paige grabbed an extra baby blanket before heading for the door. It always got cold on the first floor after the sun set. February in Montana was not a warm place. She heard the male voices and walked into the living room without thinking about who she might be interrupting. The sight that greeted her made her stop in her tracks, brows shooting up into her hairline as both men stopped talking and looked at her. They were seated close to the fire, Eleanor wrapped tightly against the chill in her favorite blanket. She was nuzzled into Ty’s arm, her eyes closed as she sucked contently at her bottle. Clay was beside them on the couch, his body turned protectively toward the baby, as though he was ready to sweep in and snatch her from Ty the moment she seemed the least bit unhappy. Clay jumped to his feet, though, when he saw the obvious confusion on her face. “Hey. You still look a bit tired. Come here.” He took her hand and led her to the couch, letting her take the warm spot he had just abandoned. 135

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Ty merely offered her a shy smile before murmuring, “Hi, Paige.” She could count on one hand how many times she’d seen Ty since she and Clay had gotten married. One Fourth of July family picnic, that first Christmas, and an impromptu visit last fall when he showed up with Ryan. Each time had been a little more comfortable, but when he didn’t show up for this past Christmas, Paige wasn’t surprised. Seeing her just a few months pregnant had driven him to hang around at the stables; at Christmas, she’d been ready to pop. It didn’t stop her from returning his smile. Of course, it helped that Clay had his arm wrapped around her stomach. “I didn’t know you were coming,” she said. “I had some downtime this month. And Mark told me to stop being such a little shit and get up here to see the baby.” He looked down, his smile transforming, becoming softer. “I was just telling Clay it’s unfortunate she looks so much like him.” “We probably should have guessed she would,” Paige said, going along with the teasing. “The way she kicked before she came out was just like Clay kicking in his sleep. She’s going to be his spitting image, I can tell.” “Well, I don’t mind if she’s got my ugly mug. Then I won’t have to chase boys away with a stick.” Ty snorted. “A stick? You’ll be out there with your shotgun. I can see it now.” He gently brushed his thumb over her downy hair. “But I think this one’s going to be a real heartbreaker.” 136

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It was a side of Ty she hadn’t seen in a very long time. The fact that she got to see it at all made Paige’s eyes well unexpectedly with tears. Stupid hormones. She was not going to miss these random attacks of emotionality when they finally smoothed out. Ducking her head, she reached out for her daughter. “I can take her now, if you want.” “No.” Ty looked up. “I mean, if you don’t mind letting me hold her a bit longer. Me and Leni are going to be pals, I can tell.” “Her name is not Leni,” Clay said, and she could hear the frown in his voice. “That’s an awful name for a little girl.” “No. Look at her. She’s a Leni if I ever saw one.” “I kind of like it,” Paige said before Clay could argue some more. She looked at him apologetically. “Not that I don’t like Eleanor, but it’s kind of a mouthful for a little girl.” “See? She’s smarter than the two of us combined. You should listen to her.” Clay snorted. “You’re just saying that because she agrees with you.” “Is there better evidence of her brilliance?” Leni began to fuss and he adjusted her in his arm, trying to make her more comfortable, but Paige knew it wouldn’t help. After another fruitless attempt to make the baby happy, Ty gently lifted her toward Paige. “I guess I’m not quite as comfortable as Mama is.” “It’s the natural padding.” As soon as Eleanor—Leni, Paige corrected, and the more she rolled the name over on her 137

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tongue, the more she liked it—was comfortable in her arms, she immediately began rooting around at her full breast. Paige laughed. “And the fact that I’m the milk machine.” She stood up. Ty might have come another step in visiting, but breastfeeding Leni in front of him might be too much. “I’m just going to go top her up. You’re staying for dinner, right, Ty?” Ty looked to Clay like he was looking for help, but Clay merely shrugged. Ty seemed to understand the simple gesture perfectly, and he responded with a nod before saying, “I was hoping to stay for a bit more than dinner. I usually come up here for February and sometimes a bit of March. I’ll understand if you’d rather not have me underfoot. I could bunk with Ryan, I guess. But I’d…well, I’m awfully sorry, Paige. About what I did.” He could have been referencing staying away from the family for so long, or he could’ve meant the events leading up to their break-up nearly two years earlier. Either way, the last thing Paige wanted was to make it an issue. She’d been hurt by what he’d done, but in the end, it had led her to everything she had wanted—Clay, and Leni, and a future that looked brighter every day. She had stopped holding anything against him a long time ago. “Of course, you can stay here. You’re family.” She smiled. “And an extra babysitter around the house is always a good thing.” “If Clay doesn’t put me to work mucking out stalls,” Ty muttered under his breath. 138

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“Hey, somebody has got to do it. Might as well be you.” “I’m nearly twenty-four.” “What does that have to do with horse shit?” Clay asked, then shot a guilty look to Paige. “Sorry.” Though she felt like laughing, she just shook her head as she walked out of the room, pretending to be disappointed. She smiled as soon as she was alone. There were no more endings to be wary of. There were only beginnings.

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JAMIE CRAIG

Jamie Craig is the collaborative efforts of Pepper Espinoza and Vivien Dean. Both successful authors on their own, they began working together in early 2006. Pepper lives with her husband and cats in Utah, where she attends graduate school, and Vivien resides in northern California with her husband and two children. *

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