Thornton Brothers

Thornton Brothers Trilogy

The

Thornton Brothers Trilogy By Carolyn Faulkner ©2003 By CFaulkner / BacksideOfLove.com

This work is copyrighted under U.S. law. NO duplication of any kind, including (but not limited to) electronic, digital or manual duplication, is permitted, except for personal use, without expressed, written consent of the author ([email protected])

Violations of this copyright can be traced digitally, and will be pursued vigorously.

PLEASE NOTE: This work of fiction depicts corporal punishment between consenting adults in a romantic, relationship-oriented context. We do not advocate or condone the use of physical force upon anyone whom has not consented to it. If the romance of discipline intrigues you, please visit us at http://BacksideOfLove.com.

-1BacksideOfLove.com

Thornton Brothers Trilogy

Table of Contents

Thornton’s Hope.................................... - 5 Two years earlier.............................................................................. - 7 Chapter I ....................................................................................... - 20 Chapter II ...................................................................................... - 35 Chapter III..................................................................................... - 49 Chapter IV..................................................................................... - 62 Chapter V...................................................................................... - 75 Chapter VI..................................................................................... - 88 Chapter VII.................................................................................. - 101 Epilogue ...................................................................................... - 111 -

Thornton’s Desire ...............................- 115 Chapter I ..................................................................................... - 117 Chapter II .................................................................................... - 129 Chapter III................................................................................... - 141 Chapter IV................................................................................... - 154 Chapter V.................................................................................... - 167 Chapter VI................................................................................... - 180 Chapter VII.................................................................................. - 194 -3BacksideOfLove.com

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Chapter VIII.................................................................................- 208 Chapter IX ...................................................................................- 222 Epilogue.......................................................................................- 231 -

Thornton’s Wish................................. - 237 Chapter I......................................................................................- 238 Chapter II ....................................................................................- 251 Chapter III ...................................................................................- 263 Chapter IV ...................................................................................- 277 Chapter V ....................................................................................- 289 Chapter VI ...................................................................................- 301 Chapter VII ..................................................................................- 313 Chapter VIII.................................................................................- 326 Chapter IX ...................................................................................- 339 -

-4BacksideOfLove.com

Thornton Brothers Trilogy

Book One Thornton Brothers Trilogy

Thornton’s Hope By Carolyn Faulkner ©2003 By CFaulkner / BacksideOfLove.com

This work is copyrighted under U.S. law. NO duplication of any kind, including (but not limited to) electronic, digital or manual duplication, is permitted, except for personal use, without expressed, written consent of the author ([email protected])

Violations of this copyright can be traced digitally, and will be pursued vigorously.

PLEASE NOTE: This work of fiction depicts corporal punishment between consenting adults in a romantic, relationship-oriented context. We do not advocate or condone the use of physical force upon anyone whom has not consented to it. If the romance of discipline intrigues you, please visit us at http://BacksideOfLove.com.

-5BacksideOfLove.com

Thornton Brothers Trilogy

Two years earlier

H

is hands slid down the insides of her raised arms as she shinnied out of her smudged t shirt. They’d spent the afternoon out on the range, on horseback, surveying his land - land that would soon be their land - and now they were cleaning up before indulging in the homemade beef and vegetable stew she’d put in the crock pot before they’d left the house. It was one of those rarest of times when by a fortunate fluke, they had the house to themselves – everyone else that was usually milling about the place was either at their own place, working, or out with friends. A.J. grabbed her hands and put them on his hard, bare chest, tracing her hands with one still somewhat smudged finger. A large, marquis cut sapphire was sandwiched by two large diamonds, nestled as it was on the ring finger of her right hand, while her left hand sported her engagement ring which was a small, badly cut, seriously flawed quarter karat diamond that his father had given his mother all those years ago. One ring old, one new, one for show and one for symbolism. If she hadn’t captured his heart so completely, if he hadn’t spent all those years waiting and aching for her to grow up, then waiting for the right time for them to come together, it would have been the just for show ring alone. But this woman meant more to -7BacksideOfLove.com

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him than any woman, ever. She deserved everything he could give her, including every scrap of himself. He’d dated occasionally, but he’d always known, somehow, that this woman belonged to him, and that, when everything aligned correctly, she would be his. She stood before him in a pretty lavender and lace bra that barely concealed those wonderfully ripened mounds. A.J. snaked his arms around her waist, contracting them ever so gently, settling her carefully against him, knowing there was no way she could mistake the bulge she most surely felt against her yielding tummy as anything other than what it was – a tribute to his rampant, everlasting desire for her. There had never been any other woman for him – past, present, and future - and now she was his. One big hand came up to cup her jaw and tip it up, his soft lips descending like a springtime rain, melding into hers, no rough demands or nervous fumbling for him. That wasn’t his style in general, and certainly not with her. No, their lovemaking tended much more towards the very long and the very slow, each touch trembling with anticipation. He’d known all his life that they would be dynamite when they got together. She excited him like no other woman ever had or could, and he intended to prove that to her every night for the next hundred years or so. A.J. maneuvered them carefully over to the corner of the bedroom where he proceeded to open his closet door, revealing a full length mirror. He slipped behind her, one big splayed, brown hand resting on her flat tummy in marked contrast to her pale, creamy skin, pressing very slowly and ever so gently so that she was plastered against him, her backside to his front. Ten pink toes peeped out from under the boot cut jeans that pooled at her feet an instant later. Hope kicked them away impatiently, and came back -8BacksideOfLove.com

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to stand against him again in just her matching bra and demure bikini briefs. A.J. spread his legs so that hers were between them, shortening himself just a bit, so that her head now just barely reached his shoulders. “I love you,” he whispered against the back of her neck, his lips sliding over that soft, delicate flesh, feeling her shiver in his arms in a way that made him want to never stop. He nipped her softly there, just enough for her to know that he wasn’t quite as tame as she might think; a stallion signaling to his mare that the end was inevitable, but he was willing to go slowly. The paw that had spread itself naturally over her tummy glided carefully over that small expanse, his pinky getting caught just under the waist of her undies, not forcing things, just dipping there a little, foreshadowing a bit, laying gentle claim to as much of the interesting territory as he could. This was not the first time they had made love, and it sure enough wasn’t the last, but for him, it always felt new. A.J. couldn’t imagine ever becoming jaded about what this woman gave him, what she surrendered to him each and every time they came together like this – more than her body and her mind and her pleasure. She gave him her soul each time, as he gave her his. Nothing and no one had ever been as perfect for him, and nothing and no one ever would be. Her breasts were damned near perfect. That sensitive hand began to journey upward to the pale lilac covered flesh that enticed him so. The first time they were together, Hope had tried – once to convince him that her thighs were lumpy with cellulite, and that her right breast was just slightly larger than her left, and that her skin was splotchy and unbecoming without makeup, which he’d required that she relieve herself of before they began to make love. -9BacksideOfLove.com

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With no warning what so ever, he’d flipped her over on to her tummy on his custom king sized bed where they had been lazily basking in the afterglow, placing his big right hand over almost all of her well rounded bottom, and told her in no uncertain terms that those were spanking words. That if she continued to run herself down like that, he would spank her bottom until she couldn’t sit comfortably for a week, and that he’d better never hear her saying anything like that about herself again, or she’d find herself in exactly the same position, each and every time. Hope couldn’t have been any more surprised if he had confessed to her that he preferred the company of men. She’d known A.J. all her life, and she would have bet her life that he would never have raised his hand to a woman in any situation. And a spanking? She wasn’t six years old! But what alarmed her the most about his threat was the fact that it caused a distinct tingle where she really didn’t want it to. Their lovemaking so far had been absolutely unbelievable, and she wondered if her disturbing response might have been a result of that; she was so attuned to him and so sensitive to him that her body would respond to anything he suggested. She dismissed the thought. Despite her life long craving for him that had only worsened since they’d given in to their desires, she wasn’t about to let him lead her down the road into some sort of strange fetish or kink. That just wasn’t going to happen. She hoped. Now, several months later, he hadn’t repeated his threat about spanking her, and watching herself in a mirror with him like this was just about as kinky as she wanted to get. As those huge hands molded themselves to her lace covered breasts, she couldn’t help but arch her back, pressing them even more firmly into his palms, desperately wishing there was no material between her sensitive flesh and his calloused palms. - 10 BacksideOfLove.com

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He was everything she’d ever wanted physically – a heavily muscled six foot four man with the trademark Thornton shock of hair, black in his case, with sharply focused vivid blue eyes and a face that was anything but handsome. But that didn’t matter. Her A.J. was more of a man than any ten men put together – any ten men that weren’t his brothers, anyway – and everything about him, from his purposeful stride to his broad as a barn shoulders, screamed his confidence in himself and his manhood. A.J. had never needed to chase woman – more than enough of them had chased after him since he’d hit puberty, because every pore he own fairly oozed with quiet, authoritative masculinity. No wonder she’d been in love with him since before she could remember. When he pressed his lips to the side of her neck and whispered huskily, “I think this bra has got to go, darlin’,” her entire body shuddered convulsively. That voice scraped slowly along her already fevered skin. It was very deep and slightly hoarse, permanently; the result of getting caught in the throat by the hoof of a very unhappy bull when he was in his teens. Hope certainly wasn’t going to complain about it. He had a bedroom voice to go along with his bedroom eyes. Even the most run of the mill comments were enough to make her nipples peak, as if they already were within his gentle grasp. He dispensed with her bra easily, letting it fall to the floor in a heap beside them while his hands returned to much more intriguing territory. Hope had always considered that her breasts were too large, but A.J. was working on disabusing her of that notion, too. His hands were just big enough to cup them perfectly, which he did, very careful not to massage too hard as he knew that her breasts were exquisitely sensitive. But those insistent nipples poked into his calloused palms, begging for the agonizing - 11 BacksideOfLove.com

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attentions of his strong fingers that he was only too willing to provide. Hope’s long, guttural moan, as his fingertips and thumbs claimed those impudent points of hers and squeezed carefully but firmly, settled unerringly in his groin, making him answer her moan with one of his own. She couldn’t be still when he did this. She simply couldn’t. His hands on her – in any way - inspired in her a need to move compulsively – Hope could no more suppress it than she could stop the sun from rising tomorrow morning. Her hips began to move slowly, rhythmically, and no amount of trying to suppress the impulse had any effect as her jean clad bottom worked back and forth over the answering ridge in his pants. The fact that she could excite him like this suffused her with heat, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. A.J. wasn’t an overly demonstrative man, usually. He didn’t fawn all over her, or have to constantly be touching her, like some of the few men she’d dated. He had too much confidence in himself and in her for that. There wasn’t an insecure bone in his body. But when they made love he was so romantic and attentive and focused on her that she could literally barely stand it. His eyes drank her in almost as avidly as her own were feasting on him. Every touch, every kiss, every caress brought her that must closer to a screaming, frenzied end, that burst into her mind every time she saw him, even in the most tame of situations, like when his hand brushed hers at the dinner table, or they were just sitting together on the couch watching “CSI”. Since they’d come together as a couple, Hope had lived her life on the edge of ecstasy, and even just a small smile from him across the room could make her whole body contract with an almost painful awareness. - 12 BacksideOfLove.com

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She looked down, watching the way he handled her so carefully, knowing the incredible power contained within his hands and arms. He was the biggest, strongest man she knew, and yet she had never felt any way but completely safe in his embrace. A.J. knew he wasn’t going to be able to last very long if she kept dancing those curvaceous pillows against him, so he squatted down quickly, taking her panties with him, then lifting her into his arms as he rose, carrying her to his big bed, which had begun to be almost unbearably lonely on those long nights when she elected to stay at her apartment. But he didn’t want to think about that right now. He wanted to revel in everything about her, to drown in the senses she swamped for him - her light, flowery scent filling his head as he dipped it between her full breasts to kiss her sternum, gathering those beautiful mounds against his cheeks, adoring the feel of them as they nearly overflowed his palms, then rearing back to catch her all over arch as his fingers found those sensitive nipples again, rolling and pinching with gentle firmness. She appealed to him on every possible level, and he had to smack himself upside the head some times in order to truly realize that she was actually his to touch in this intimate, reverent manner. “Please, A.J. Please!” It seemed all she could say, the only words her pleasure muddled mind could get out. He was of a mind to draw it out, to make her blush all over as she always did when he made her tell him exactly what she wanted. But it was too raw, and he was too embarrassingly close to his own end to delay things any longer than he absolutely had to. A.J. reached down only enough to adjust himself out of the confinement of his jeans and underwear, settling himself back - 13 BacksideOfLove.com

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between her legs, nestling his rigid length against the home it sought between her legs. Hope didn’t know why, but being naked beneath him with him still somewhat clothed, only undressed enough to complete their connection and let her hands wander over his bulging chest . . . somehow it made the intimate things they were doing together ache just that much more, almost to the unbearable point. It made her feel just the slightest bit submissive, helpless against him, as if she was being taken instead of being made love to, and that thought both drove her crazy and festered angrily in the back of her mind. But the crazy part won out hands down as he pressed himself inexorably inside her. She thought she would never get over how big he was, how her body clung to him with no direction from her, almost as if it was trying to deny him access, which was the last thing she wanted. She needed him to complete her, she needed to be filled to overflowing with him as she always was – it was the only way she could meet her own end and shatter around him with a scream that would leave her hoarse for days afterwards. And he didn’t disappoint her in the least, riding her inexorably but with such a tender, careful edge that she could barely stand it, whimpering and writhing beneath him like a mindless creature, bent on just one thought, one inevitable conclusion that he brought her to without mercy, watching her every second of the way, gauging himself and his reactions – his very plunges and retreats – to her mewls and archings. When they finally collapsed on top of each other after a much longer time than she would have guessed she could last without exploding in to pieces all around him – not that he’d given her any choice about it – he’d rolled slightly to her right, keeping one big hand’s claim on her hip and nuzzling her shoulder, as if he couldn’t stand for them to be apart in the least. - 14 BacksideOfLove.com

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“You’re going to kill me, you know. We’re too damned good together, and I’m too old for you.” “Want some Geritol, Grampa?” Hope asked dryly, surprised her brain could summon the sarcasm when it felt like he’d dissolved it into so much pudding. “No, but Viagra might not be too off . . .” A.J. admitted humbly. Hope snorted. “Puh-leeze. If you were on Viagra, you’d kill me. I can barely keep up with you as it is, old man.” She ran her hand lazily from his wrist to his thickly muscled shoulder. “Besides, it ain’t that you’re older than I am that’s the problem. It’s that I’m so damned ugly - ” A.J. didn’t even think. Even exhausted as he was – as he was likely to be for some time – it only took him a mere flick of those big fingers to grasp her hip and turn it, instead of caress it, bringing her onto her tummy gently, and silently marveling at the gorgeous line of her back and bottom, almost reluctant to do what he knew he had to. He reached up, before she realized what he was going to do, and gathered her wrists together in his left hand, slowly, so as not to arouse her suspicions . . .yet. He knew she was going to want to kill him long before he was through doing what he knew he needed to do for her. A.J. was not going to tolerate his intended – or his wife – running herself down like that. Not in private, not in public. Not at all – even within the confines of her own mind. She would find herself in this exactly position if he ever got any wind of anything coming out of her mouth that even slightly resembled a put down aimed at herself. He just wouldn’t allow it – not when he loved her to distraction and saw what a wonderful person she was – how she - 15 BacksideOfLove.com

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gave so much to everyone she knew, gave of herself until it hurt, was funny and bright and warm and, no matter what she thought or said, sexy as hell and pretty, too boot. A.J. took a deep breath, looking at the way his hand covered nearly every inch of that generous white bottom of hers. He would much have preferred to just give her a back rub, maybe lick his way over every inch of her as he had when they had first come together intimately, but instead he was going to have to spank her. To hurt her. To make her cry. And it wasn’t easy. It especially wasn’t easy because he’d never talked to her about this, never really put forth the idea that he had always subscribed to what most people would consider to be a less than enlightened view of marriage and close relationships between men and women. He’d always wanted to be married. He’d always wanted a marriage like his parents’ – where his father was the undisputed – benevolent, yes, but undisputed nonetheless – head of the family. Not that his beautiful mother had ever kow towed to him in the least. But there had never been any of the screaming matches he’d heard at friends’ houses, where the children had had to cringe in a closet to get away from the sounds of their parents tearing at each other verbally. His father had never had to raise his voice at anyone – much less his kids or his wife. He didn’t need to. All he’d had to do was say his wife’s name, in that deadly calm, almost whisper of a deep voice. “Naomi.” And the next morning, they would have worked it out. He came to know, once he’d grown up some, that part of “working it out” was his mother submitting to his father’s discipline. There had never been any sign of any sort of abuse – no black eyes to hide, no broken bones; he couldn’t imagine his father ever, ever raising his fist to hurt his mother in any way. The man was too completely devoted to her and his family to ever do - 16 BacksideOfLove.com

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anything like that. They were so excruciatingly happy together it was sometimes hard to look at them when they were making calves’ eyes at each other, which they had done to their dying days. And now he was going to continue that tradition – that solid base of happiness and love and respect – with the woman who would be his own wife. Hope’s indignant scream at his first swat should have been his first clue that she was not going to accept this easily. She didn’t know what he was trying to do; she was still basking in the afterglow, not quite in her right mind yet, when he’d turned her onto her stomach. She’d been hoping for a lovely massage, as he’d done for her before. Even when he’d taken her wrists in his hand, she hadn’t worried. But that first swat had caught her by surprise with its mere existence, as well as its pain. It wasn’t a playful boyfriend smack. And she couldn’t really even claim that she didn’t expect it. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t warned her several times exactly what he would do if she continued to insult herself in his presence. In the back of her mind, though, she had been quite sure that he could never, would never, touch a woman in a painful manner. And this most certainly qualified as a painful manner. An extremely painful manner, especially since he continued to deliver crisp, sharp swats, one after the other, without pause, to her rapidly reddening rear. No amount of wiggling or writhing or kicking her feet up seemed to help, either. As soon as she’d started launching her feet back towards her rear, he’d placed a long, heavy leg diagonally across hers and the weight of it was enough to still her every effort to block the God awful spanks he was raining down onto her poor, quickly roasted rump. - 17 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Stop it! Now! A.J.! Cut it out!!” She could barely get coherent words out while he was blistering her butt like this. But A.J. was resolute. “I’ve told you before what would happen if you kept saying things like that about yourself. I told you less than half an hour ago when we first started to make love. I should have taken you over my knee then, but I didn’t. I wanted you too much, and I let my libido override what I knew you needed. But then you called yourself ugly again, and I won’t stand for it. I just won’t. You’re going to get a good, thorough spanking every time I hear you say anything like that about yourself.” He continued to spank – so long and hard that Hope was certain that she was going to go crazy from it, until she was a limp, ragged doll, her face wet with angry tears, eyes swollen and, looking she knew, uglier than she’d ever looked in her life. When he finally stopped, she rocketed off the bed as if he’d shot her out of a cannon, slipping into her panties then rummaging through the drawer she’d occupied in his room for a pair of shorts that would go easier on her still burning bottom. After shucking into them without so much as a word to him, she caught the sparkle of his rings on her fingers and very quietly took them off, not trying to hide the movement from him, doing it with no fanfare, no discussion, no real thought. She wouldn’t be engaged – much less married – to a man who could abuse her like that. She just wouldn’t. Hope ignored him as he trailed after her, having kicked off his jeans afterwards, and trying awkwardly to drag them up his legs as she was already out the bedroom door. She was already at her car before he was able to catch up with her, tugging her arm back and turning her towards him.

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“What’s the meaning of this?” He held out his hand, where the rings were nestled in his palm, looking small and defenseless, which was exactly how she felt, too. Hope refused to look at him. “I thought my meaning would be clear. But perhaps not, to a man like you. We are officially unengaged.” As much as he wanted to go the caveman route and drag her back up to his bedroom and hold her and talk to her about why he’d done what he’d done, he instead stepped back and let her go. If she didn’t want to be here, if she didn’t want to marry him or even be around him, he certainly wasn’t going to force her to do so. She’d come to regret what she’d done and come crying back to him. Then he’d smooth things over with her. He was sure of it. She’d come back to him. She had to.

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Chapter I

I

f there was anything Hope Granger hated, it was middle of the night phone calls. They were never, ever a harbinger of anything good. It was never a “we just had a baby aren’t you happy for us call”, or even an “I’m bugging you because I’m drunk as a skunk yet still know how to work my cell phone.” The phone blared again from her nightstand while she tried to bury her face in her pillow and ignore it, although she knew that was a futile effort since that that particular ring tone indicated that it was someone other than a bill collector. It was someone who knew her, and yet was willing to risk life and limb by calling her at – she glanced at her clock then wished violently that she hadn’t – two twenty seven in the morning. Finally giving in to the inevitable, she slapped her hand down in what she hoped was the vicinity of the phone cradle, because she didn’t want to have to open her eyes again for at least another five or so hours. She made a lucky guess, and was able to grab the phone and punch talk before it went to her answering machine. “This had better be good.” The threatening voice she intended didn’t quite translate since it was delivered at barely - 20 BacksideOfLove.com

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above a whisper, which was all the force she could summon at that ungodly hour. She knew who it was by the telltale snort. “Is that any way to answer the phone?” “Between the lines, Beauregard, between the lines,” she growled in reply. “If you’d call at a decent hour, you’d’ve gotten a decent greeting.” “If I could have called earlier, I would have, believe me.” Hope heard his utter exhaustion, and was instantly more awake. “He’s not getting any better, is he?” She said the words slowly, as if wanting to put off the answer she expected as long as she could. Beau sighed sadly. “The truth is, Hope, he’s getting worse. He just sits there all day, in his room, wasting away. He refuses to go to physical therapy, he’s barely eating. He’s the worse patient you’ve ever seen.” Hope could well imagine the truth of that statement. “He threw his lunch at one nurse, and she was the lucky one. We’ve gone through five nurses in the past three, and even Henri’s about ready to add him to tomorrow’s dinner, no questions asked. I’m not willing to throw anyone else to the lion . . . ” She knew where this was going, and finished his sentence for him. “Except me. You’re perfectly willing to sacrifice me.” Beau had the grace not to make any further comment. He had no illusions. She’d known what he was calling for as soon as she recognized his voice. - 21 BacksideOfLove.com

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It was her turn to sigh heavily. She didn’t want to go back there. She didn’t. But it was A.J., and she would have clawed her way out of her own grave to help this man, even though he was her ex-fiancé. She knew, though, that to say that he most certainly wasn’t going to welcome anyone’s assistance, especially hers, was an understatement that bordered on the ridiculous. She probably wasn’t going to fair anywhere near as well as those nurses had, because A.J. knew all her weak points, and hurt and sick as he was, he wasn’t likely to pull any of his punches. She snorted softly to herself. As if he ever had before the accident. That was partly why they weren’t together any longer. If he’d been able to keep his palm to himself and not feel compelled to spank her with it, she’d be there right now. “Hope?” Beau was beginning to worry at her extended silence. She was his last possible refuge. The idea of losing A.J. by default was not an option. If he had to, he’d come up there and kidnap her, but he would rather she came voluntarily. He knew that this wasn’t going to be easy for either of them. It was his hope that the sparks that usually flew between this woman and his older brother might bring him back to life. He flatly refused to consider the alternative, that he couldn’t be reached, and would just waste away there, in his wheelchair, looking out on the ranch that used to be his life’s blood. “Yeah. Yes, of course I’ll be there,” she answered, the butterflies – make that pterodactyls – already beginning to flutter around in her stomach. She’d be seeing him again – be in the same room with him – in just a few hours. Her whole body clenched at the thought. He’d always been able to do that to her, and, sometimes when she - 22 BacksideOfLove.com

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was alone in the night, reaching for him, wanting his arms around her in the night, she even let herself miss it. But not often, or she’d end up drowning in her own sorrows. “There’ll be a ticket waiting for you at the American counter.” “You don’t have to - ” “Hope,” he growled, sounding depressingly like his brother. “Don’t argue. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you’re coming.” “You Thorntons are all alike,” she said, stretching slightly. “Bossy. Autocratic. Dictatorial.” “And?” This time, her sigh was one of resignation. “Just checking that nothing had changed in the past eighteen or so months.” “Twenty months, six days, twelve hours and thirty two minutes since you left.” “Why, Beau, I didn’t know you cared!” Hope teased. His response was growled, “I care because I – we all – got stuck dealing with him once you left! And it’s a thousand times worse now, let me tell you.” She knew he was dead right. Hope couldn’t imagine what A.J. was like once she’d left him. Well, she could, but she certainly didn’t like to. “I’m sorry about that, Beau, but - ” He knew she was about to apologize to him for the umpteenth time since she’d gone. “It’s okay. I understand that you - 23 BacksideOfLove.com

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had to leave for some mysterious reason, and I’m trying to accept it. But we need you back.” “I’m coming, I’m coming,” she whined. “Good.” She could hear him yawning in the background. “Now comes the hard part.” His yawn, of course, had inspired one of her own. “What now?” His reluctance to tell her was almost comical. “Welllllllllll, I got you on the first available flight - ” Hope’s eyes flew open as she realized what he was saying. “Don’t tell me! Don’t tell me!” “ – that leaves at six thirty.” She hissed air in through tightly clenched teeth. “Argh! You are such a sadist!” Of course, he had to rub it in. “That’s in the morning, in case you didn’t realize it. This morning. Approximately, what, four hours from now for you?” “I’m hanging up now.” Beau chuckled, saying, “By the way, pack heavy. I don’t think that this is going to be a short visit.” Hope groaned into the phone. “Just how I wanted to spend my summer vacation – nursing a man who’s cranky at the best of times.” “He needs you, Hope.” - 24 BacksideOfLove.com

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The bald truth of his statement shone through in his voice, and it automatically made Hope’s throat clench. “I know. Who else would I get up for – holy moly, I’m going to have to be up and dressed by - ” She was starting to growl, so Beau decided to cut his losses quickly, before she had a chance to finish that thought. “Bye, Hope! Thank you!” He hung up the phone just as she started to foam at the mouth, sitting there staring at it for several long moments. He hoped she could help. If he hadn’t been absolutely desperate, he wouldn’t have called her. But – beyond the more dire aspects – it might perhaps be a way for them to get back together. Sometimes a trauma pulled a couple closer. A.J. had never really told his brothers much about why, all of a sudden, he was disengaged to a woman who had appeared to be the love of his life, and they hadn’t wanted to pry. They certainly were curious, although none of them wanted to brave his wrath and question him too closely about it. A.J. had walked around the house like a keg of dynamite, ready and all too willing to explode at the least instigation. Hell, Beau realized, he would still be walking around that way, if he could. He dragged a calloused hand over his face and realized all of a sudden how tired he was. A.J. – at his best – wasn’t easy to deal with. But since the break up with Hope and then his accident, he’d been downright impossible, and the brothers were at the end of their collective ropes.

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He stood and walked to the door of A.J.’s den, flipping off the light with a slap of his big paw, taking out his frustrations on the switch. If Hope couldn’t help, he didn’t know what they were going to do.

~~~

She didn’t get much more sleep that night; her mind was too busy creating list upon list, which she knew from past experience would evaporate completely by morning if she didn’t turn on the light and write everything down on the pad of paper she kept on her nightstand. But, of course, she was dead asleep by the time the alarm went off, barley two hours later to give her time to pack. The urge to throw it across the room was very strong, but she resisted. Half sleepwalking, she managed to get everything together in record time – for her – and got on the plane without incident. It was a relatively short, uneventful flight, and she slumped her way into San Antonio International Airport dragging the absolute limit of carry on items, all bursting at the seams. She let herself be funneled towards baggage, scanning the crowd lazily for a Thornton brother or two, depending on who could get away from their jobs or the ranch – and the trio that settled easy onto her eyes were damned hard to miss. There was a particular look in that testosterone filled family – they all had it - easy confidence, but with the muscle and the will to back it up, any time, any way necessary. And they were all trees, all of them. She’d always felt like a dwarf in their company, - 26 BacksideOfLove.com

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because most of them topped her five-five by nearly a foot. They had hung to the back until they’d spotted her, then moved forward with the power and strength of an Army tank, parting the sea of people that separated them from their goal to sweep her up in their collective arms as soon as they reached her, lifting her entirely off her feet and passing her around like she was a sack of potatoes. She’d forgotten how wonderful it was to be surrounded by that impenetrable wall of beefcake. They squeezed her until she thought she’d pop, and Hope loved every single minute of it, trying desperately to return the hugs with the same fervor, if not strength. But when they started passing her back for a second round, she ordered, “Put me down before one of you oafs cracks my ribs!” It was Dunn who had her then, the second to the youngest of the very fearsome fivesome, and, contrary to the usual reaction a Thornton had to an order, he set her down very gently in front of them. To her horror, her eyes had filled with tears that had overflowed down her cheeks at the mere sight of them. She didn’t think she’d ever had such a feeling of homecoming as she had then, as they stood there like idiots blocking the way to baggage. Each of them wanted to keep a hand on her, as if they thought she’d disappear if they didn’t, and they all guided her down to claim her bags. The youngest, Eric, waived her firmly away from the carousel, telling her in the usual domineering Thornton manner to just point at what bag was hers. Since Dunn and Cade were already each holding an arm to prevent her from picking it up herself, she glared and sighed – to no avail – and pointed dutifully. When she had what meager belongings she could remember to cram into her one and only suitcase, they all tromped out to the waiting SUV , boldly emblazoned with the familiar Circle T logo. “Here’s where I get off,” Dunn turned and hugged her tight. He had a going law practice and no longer lived at the ranch, not - 27 BacksideOfLove.com

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that he was any less close to his brothers because of it. “I’ll see you tonight. It’s going to be all right, now that you’re back,” he whispered hoarsely, putting voice to the fervent wish of all the brothers. Hope’s eyebrows rose, but she didn’t say anything as she hugged him back and he left to go to his own car, which, knowing Dunn, was most certainly not an SUV. Cade was the next to defect, and although she knew they both had jobs to get back to, Hope couldn’t quite keep from feeling somewhat abandoned. “I’m so glad you’re back.” Cade caught her eyes before squeezing her until she squeaked, literally. Somewhere along the line, Hope could see that she would need to remind these lovely gentlemen that she wasn’t “back”. She was here, but it was far from permanent. She’d do anything she could to help him recover, although Hope was nowhere near as confident about her abilities as the brothers were. But she wasn’t going to stay here. She had no problems giving up her summer vacation to help A.J. – he knew that unengaged or not, he would have done the same for her in a heartbeat. At least, the old A.J. would have. She wasn’t so sure about who he’d become since the accident. She spent a lot of the ride out to the big ranch being quizzed relentlessly by Eric about what she’d been doing for the past year and a half, even though she’d kept in contact as best she could, mostly with Beau, who was the next closest to her after A.J. She’d been back here three months ago, when this happened originally, but it wasn’t a time for catching up and socializing.

- 28 BacksideOfLove.com

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Once upon a time, they had been extraordinarily happy together. Her parents had owned the ranch next to the Thorntons. Their respective spreads had been in their families forever, it seemed, and although he was several years ahead of her in school, their families were close, so they were forced into each other’s proximity fairly frequently. A.J. had always been very much the eldest son, and was nearly a carbon copy of his father, although he tended to put more stock in education than the elder Thornton, after whom he was named. Despite his father’s various grunts and groans about it, A.J. was his own man even that young, and he’d always known he wanted to take over the ranch one day. He just wanted to do it his own way - the same way he had always had eyes for one young Hope Granger, but had never made a move towards her. Hope had been pining away for him since she was a young girl, and he was her first – and only – crush. She hadn’t dated much in high school or during her own college career, because no one could quite measure up to one Austin Jeffers Thornton II. No one was quite tall or broad enough, and she was very sure that there was no one on the entire planet who was quite as much of a natural born leader as he was . . . except, perhaps, every other male Thornton in his family. Hope had often wondered how his mother, Naomi, had put up with the six of them, with their bossy tendencies, but then Naomi didn’t take any guff from any of them, and they all thought the sun rose and set on her. Just a disappointed look from her made any or all of them – including her husband and her stubborn eldest – get all sheepish and apologize immediately for whatever indiscretion they might have committed. They all tended to mill around the kitchen, especially at dinner time. Austin had often suggested, once the ranch was doing better, and they were no longer barely eking out an existence, that - 29 BacksideOfLove.com

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they get a cook so that she didn’t have to do all that work. Originally she had been completely outraged at the thought, so much so that he never mentioned it again. Eventually, though, she did cave in to a certain extent – but not about cooking. If she was going to give up any aspect of caring for her beloved family, it was the one she hated: they hired a housekeeper, instead. So he had inherited not one, temper, but two. Even so, he was a very controlled, very stubborn man, despite his deep passions, which at that time only included learning how to run the ranch as best he could which meant getting a college degree in business. Hope was very careful not to let on to anyone how much A.J. intrigued her. First of all, her brother Stephen, who was two years younger than she was, would never have let her forget it, and he teased her quite enough already without giving him any more. And secondly, she’d never, ever in her lifetime imagined that A.J. would actually want anything to do with her. As she was growing up, every time he so much as looked at her she wanted to run and hide. She knew what she was – she knew she had plain brown hair – even if it was luxuriously long - and a sometimes splotchy complexion and – especially around him or any time she got nervous – she had two left feet and she wasn’t nearly thin enough to be attractive to the likes of A.J. She told herself that she was quite content to love him from afar. But that changed to a certain degree after college, when she’d come back to her home town of Haverhill, Texas, to teach at one of the local grade schools. She found that she was much less reticent at their occasional meetings. Oh, he still made her stomach ache uncomfortably, and the impulse to run somewhere – anywhere – else was still there, but she’d squelched it successfully on their first meeting after she’d returned home. - 30 BacksideOfLove.com

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He was the only brother she felt that way about – the rest of them were worse than if they were her own brothers. They included both herself and Stephen, when he was around in their innocent but incessant teasing. When she’d graduated and made it home in time to attend the famous annual Thornton Family barbeque, which contained more extended family and close friends than real blood relatives, the four younger brothers had formed an informal receiving line, each claiming a loving, if exaggeratedly hard, hug from her, then passing her along, chiding her for not keeping in better touch and deliberately patting her on the head, which they knew she detested. Complaining about the fact that they were messing up her hair only served to fuel the fire, of course. Finally, after ineffectually trying to swat them all away, she took a step away from them all to her left, hands in the air in front to prevent sneak attacks and her head bent, whining, “Get your grubby meat hooks out of my hair!” “My hands aren’t in your hair,” came a deep rumble from well above her. Steeling herself, mentally and physically, she lifted her eyes to his, feeling her heart hammering against her ribcage as their eyes locked. “Don’t I get a hug?” he prodded. Hope thought she’d faint, but she did it anyway. It might well be the only time she had a chance to get that close to him – to be in his arms! She’d figured she die happy, having been hugged by him. So she went for it, wrapping her arms as far around him as she could, and hugging him tightly. She took a deep breath while still in his arms, drinking in that masculine scent of his, mingled as it was with a light, spicy aftershave. - 31 BacksideOfLove.com

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His was the only hug where no one was aiming to break a rib. It lasted only a beat or two beyond what could be considered a casual hug, and neither of the recipients thought of it as casual in the least. Little did she know that A.J.’s eyes had closed the moment she began to hold him. He had watched her grow up, date very occasionally, and go off to college, all the while loving her more than life itself, from a calculated distance. But he hadn’t wanted to get involved in anything that might deter his goal of getting the ranch on better footing, and he knew that if he indulged himself with her that would be the end of it – he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else. A.J. felt as if he’d loved her forever. He couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t want her, didn’t ache for her every single night. But she had shown absolutely no interest in him whatsoever – if anything, she was closer to Beau than him, and it darned near killed him. He was a very planned person, rock steady and determined and stubborn, and he wanted to make sure that he had all his ducks in a row and that the both of them were through college before he made his move. She was the doted on daughter in a family of only four, and had been practically adopted by the Thornton family, too. His parents had treated her as their own daughter, starved as his mom was for a little girl to spoil, and Hope had been in their house as much as she’d been in her own. But despite the fact that she’d always had huge birthdays and that someone, somewhere in her life would always see to it that she got what she wanted, Hope had somehow managed not to end up being bratty in the least.

- 32 BacksideOfLove.com

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If she had, it would have made his job as her eventual husband just that much harder – not that he shrank from that challenge in the least. A.J. knew exactly how to keep her in line. He kept track of her, while she was gone, through her connection to Beau, literally shaking in his size fifteen triple E boots whenever the report came back that she was dating someone, and ultimately thankful that she didn’t date much, even though he knew that it was because she didn’t consider herself to be a particularly desirable woman. He intended to teach her something very different once he got the chance. She wasn’t a knockout – never would be, and he didn’t want that kind of a woman, anyway. But she was far from ugly, either. Hope was pretty and petite – especially from his vantage point, but he knew that she would argue about the petite designation to the death. She had sparkling green eyes and a broad, ready smile – except around him, it seemed. But her best feature – as far as he was concerned – was the mass of long, wavy hair that waved and curled nearly to her butt. He’d only seen her cut once, in high school – and the loss of that glorious mane had wounded him deeply. When they’d literally bumped into each other at a mutual friend’s wedding, after she’d cut it into a close fitting cap of curls, he hadn’t been able to curb himself from murmuring into her ear as he helped her steady herself, “Don’t cut your hair again.” Hope had been on her way across the room in a beautiful dress of sea green that clung to her a lot more than he would have liked, and she’d given him the strangest look – which he’d expected – before she turned and continued on towards her nambypamby date. - 33 BacksideOfLove.com

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A.J. knew that she would consider that he had overstepped his bounds, and he fully expected that she would keep her hair short just because she knew that it would annoy him. He would put up with that, but not for long. Because as soon as she was his - as soon as they were married, as he’d envisioned they would be, living in that big family ranch house and filling it with the love and laughter that it had known as he and his brothers grew up - cutting her hair would definitely become a spankable offense.

- 34 BacksideOfLove.com

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Chapter II

E

ric manhandled the SUV off the small, two lane paved road between the ever open gate that proclaimed that this was the Circle T Ranch, and that they ran Certified Angus cattle. “He’s not going to be happy to see you, you know,” Eric said tensely. “I know.” Her heart ached at the idea of seeing him again, but it was also pounding because she had a pretty good idea what kind of reception she was going to get. At least from A.J. Beau would be ecstatic, she knew. They all seemed depressingly sure that she was going to a miracle; that A.J. was suddenly going to get up and walk. She wasn’t even sure that he was going to talk to her at all. But that was no tact to take with him. Any sort of weakness she presented, would be pounced on. She was just going to have to out stubborn the stubbornest man in the world – there was no other way to do it. Eric, of course, warned her off picking up her own suitcase with a classic Thornton glare, so she lead the way to the back kitchen door. There, Etta, who was their cook and housekeeper, enfolded her into the first hug she’d had on this trip that didn’t hurt. The older woman whispered, “I knew you’d come back when he needed you.”

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Hope hugged her hard. She’d known it too, deep down. She had flown all the way down here three months ago, when the accident had happened, just to be near him. She could still remember that awful feeling in the pit of her stomach when Beau had called and she could hear it in his voice how seriously A.J. had been hurt. He’d been flying forever and his staunchly methodical tendencies made him an excellent pilot. An airplane isn’t a luxury for a ranch this size; it’s a necessity. A.J. had earned his pilot’s license before he got his driver’s license. But something had happened, obviously, and he had crashed trying to take off – luckily, he wasn’t too far off the ground when it happened or he would have been killed on impact. As it was, he’d still done a pretty devastating job on himself. Despite the considerable personal expense, she never had the thought that she shouldn’t go to him. Not once. She dipped into her “never touch,” socked away rent money without a second thought, and got herself a seat on the on the next flight leaving Knoxville. Hope spent the entire flight rocking and praying and crying her way down to San Antonio, where she hopped to tiny Kemore regional airport, grabbed her rental car and sped to Mercy hospital, to sit vigil by his bed with everyone else. They weren’t at all sure that he was going to live. One of his lungs had been punctured; the crash had mangled his back and both legs, and he had a very bad concussion. When she got to the hospital, she got up to the ICU waiting room and used the phone that was provided that directly connected to the nurses’ station, but was told that only family could see him. Hope had absolutely no compunction about lying and saying that she was his fiancée. She knew the brothers would back her up if they checked out her story, and no one in this day and age was going to notice that she didn’t have a ring. - 36 BacksideOfLove.com

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She did. She’d just given it back to him almost two years ago. The brothers were all there, of course, and became infuriated that she’d been blocked from coming back to his room, for even a second. After crushing hugs all around, she calmed their storm – which had brewed because they had nothing else to wrap their anger around – simply by taking the chair that was closest to him. It was one of those God awful hip chairs that was really too high for her, but she didn’t notice. Her eyes were on A.J.. She hadn’t kissed him, because he was too full of various tubes for her to get to much of him. Hope could barely find a patch of bare skin to touch; she certainly didn’t want to hurt him. He had five IV bags hanging behind him, a tube down his nose to feed him, and a respirator that hissed and clunked rhythmically, which helped keep that lung inflated. His head was bandaged, and both legs were in casts. It looked like there couldn’t possibly be an inch on him that didn’t hurt, but she had to touch him. She settled for laying her hand on his arm, just above his elbow, and squeezing gently. “Hey, A.J.. It’s Hope,” she crooned soothingly. The other brothers, who had been whispering quietly around her, fell completely silent as she spoke. “I just want you to relax, A.J. It’s just me, and your brothers, we’re all here pulling for you and the doctors and nurses are doing their best to help you. We’re all right here, rooting for you. I know that you can do this. You’re going to get better, and I’m just going to sit her until you do.” “His heart rate’s dropping!” Cade noted in a loud whisper. Everyone’s attention flew to the monitor that showed his vital statistics, and he was right. - 37 BacksideOfLove.com

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As he was nodding in agreement, Beau was also corralling his brothers out through the flimsy cotton curtain, growling that they should give the two some time alone. She patted him and spoke to him for the rest of that exhausting day in a low, strong, almost chanting tone, constantly repeating her name and mentioning his brothers, and also telling him specifically what was going on with his body – that he had a tube down his throat and couldn’t move his legs because they were in casts. She refused to even get out of the chair until the brothers literally lifted her out of it, saying in a chorus of deep, no nonsense, masculine voices different variations of “you can’t help him if you make yourself sick.” She was ushered back to the ranch, where Beau had quickly adopted A.J.’s mantle and threw her the keys to his car, saying he’d take her rental back, as well as pay for her trip down. He knew she didn’t have the money to pay for a spur of the moment flight anywhere, and that she must’ve gotten completely soaked by the price of the ticket. Hope tried to protest, but, like his brother, he wouldn’t have any of it. Eric had stayed behind to pull the over-nighter, but every one else reclaimed their old bedrooms. They had already decided that A.J. was never to be alone, without ever having to really talk about it, beyond organizing everyone’s schedule so that roughly eight hour shifts were established and covered. Beau had ushered her to A.J.’s room at first, then, surprisingly backed down immediately at her outraged look and brought her to the guest room she used to occupy as a kid, instead. “You’ve been added to the list of people who can see him, as a member of the family, which, of course, you are. The car’s gassed up, take it any time you want and go see him. But,” he shook his index finger at her, “don’t wear your self out. If you’re there every time I get there, you’re gonna be in trouble.” Both of Hope’s eyebrows rose at his high handedness. - 38 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Not with me, but with him,” he added with a truly evil grin. Hope glared at him, but refused to rise to the bait. She didn’t want to think about what he – or any of the rest of them – might know about her relationship with A.J. She certainly didn’t want to think that he might know that she’d been spanked. She didn’t want to know it either –and yet she kind of did – and that was the crux of the situation. She was glad when he left her to her own devices to get settled in. It was a long while before they took him off the respirator, and everyone was exhausted. But she got up early one morning and stumbled into the big, open kitchen, her only mission to find the nearest source of coffee, even though what these guys made more closely resembled mud than coffee. The brothers and Etta knew better than to talk to her at this hour of the morning until she’d had at least one cup of coffee in her. She would get up early – after much whining and complaining – but she refused to have any sort of conversation until she’d replenished her caffeine stores. The phone rang, and Dunn answered it – he and Cade had been staying at the house since this happened; it was easier than trying to round everyone up in their separate apartments. They’d just returned to using their old bedrooms. Everyone in the room was holding their breath, knowing that the phone call might not be good news, but barely able to acknowledge that fact. Every eye in the room was fixed on Dunn as he listened to Beau, who had done the overnighter last night. - 39 BacksideOfLove.com

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Suddenly, a huge grin split Dunn’s somber face. “You’re kidding me! He did? They are? When?” Everyone surrounded him instantly, chattering, because it sounded like the first good news they had in a while. He thanked Beau for calling and got off the phone to announce to his avid audience that A.J. had turned the corner, as his doctor has described it, and was much recovered. They were going to remove the respirator this morning and move him to a regular hospital bed in orthopedics, because of his legs. There was a moment of happily stunned silence at this announcement, and then everyone whooped and hollered and jumped up and down fit to bring the house down, hugging and laughing and, in Hope’s case, crying, of course. She hadn’t cried since she’d gotten there. Hope kind of figured that she’d spent so long bawling on the plane that she’d used all of her tears in just that one flight. She’d done her own overnights with him, and had spent most of every day at his side, until whichever brother arrived and chased her home. She hadn’t much let herself believe that he would survive this. Oh, she’d talked a good game, and hadn’t let on any of her pessimistic thoughts to the others, but they were there in the back of her head nonetheless. “When is all of this happening?” “Well, Beau said that they have to wait for the doctor to come in and sign off on everything, but he told me sometime around ten or so.” Hope nodded, almost absently. The good news mobilized them all, and they all agreed to meet at the hospital around nine thirty or so, so they could all be there with him once he’d been extubated, and brought out from - 40 BacksideOfLove.com

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under the drugs they’d been giving him so he wouldn’t fight the respirator tube. She wasn’t going to wait for nine thirty. She needed to see A.J. now. His bed was along the bottom of the u-shaped corridors of the ICU. She called to the nurses’ station and got clearance to come in, then promptly walked right past him. He’d recovered enough that they’d taken him out of the windowless room he’d been in and put him in a room – still in ICU – with a window, that looked more like a normal hospital room. Beau happened to see her, and called to her from A.J.’s bedside. Hope reeled around, literally dissolving into tears when she saw that a lot of the equipment that had been sustaining him was gone. He looked like a regular hospital patient – not like someone on his last leg. Beau reached out and grabbed her into his arms, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of his head. “He’s going to be fine,” he said, then amended quickly, “eventually. It’s going to be a long road to get back physically, as much as he can. But he’s out of the woods.” A.J. was in a normal hospital bed that wasn’t jacked up for the ease of the nurses who were caring for him. She could stand beside his bed – there was actually room now – and lean down to kiss his pale cheek, stroking her hand through his hair as big, full tears plopped down onto his hospital johnny. Beau had watched her carefully, coming to stand on the other side of the bed, his hands gripping the railing tightly. “You’re leaving, aren’t you,” he accused in a tone so soft she couldn’t believe how they cut into her heart. - 41 BacksideOfLove.com

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Hope refused to look at him, but bit her lip as she continued to caress the man she loved. That was answer enough for Beau, who responded angrily, clanging the bedrail noisily and turning away from the both of them. “You two are going to stubborn yourselves to death, you know. You belong together. You came back to help him recover ” “I came back because I had to. You know that,” she whispered, her voice full of the anguish she was feeling at what she knew she had to do. “I couldn’t just stay at home, go merrily on with my life, knowing he was lying here all broken and near death. You knew that – that’s why you called me.” Beau was incensed, glaring fiercely down at her, doing a wonderful impression of his brother in full tirade. But Hope wasn’t scared. No Thornton man would ever lay a hand on a woman in anger – their parents had taught them much better than that. Although at least one of them wouldn’t hesitate to spank his woman when he thought she’d done something wrong, but, despite her misgivings about it, she knew that a spanking a hundred and eighty degrees from a beating. She heard Beau growl, “He can’t say it – he can’t ask it of you yet, so I will: stay. He’s going to need all the help he can get for the next six months at least to try to get back to normal. He’ll do it if you’re with him. I know he will.” Her response was swift. “I can’t. Please don’t ask me to.” The big man ran his hand through his shock of sable brown hair. “I don’t know much about what went on between you,” he said, “and I don’t want to know, frankly. But what I do know that you both still love each other. He was pretty devastated when you - 42 BacksideOfLove.com

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left. I don’t think I’ve seen him crack a smile more than three or so times in the past year and a half since you’ve been gone. He’s always been a hard ass, but a hard ass with a goal in mind. You.” He stared at her pointedly. “Now that he doesn’t have that, he’s just working himself – and everyone else around him - into the ground. You know, he did this flight after he’d been up for thirty six hours straight, helping the men with calving?” This was exactly the type of scene that Hope had wanted to avoid. “I don’t want to talk about this,” she said very firmly. “I’m leaving this morning. I’ve already made the reservations.” But she couldn’t meet his eyes, but she could hear his jaw grinding when he was standing three feet away. Instead, she concentrated on her love, who was obviously feeling better, chewing on the respirator tube and occasionally opening his eyes, although they were cloudy and unfocused. Deciding she needed to just do this and get it over with, Hope had leaned over and kissed A.J. on the cheek, ruffling his hair one more time. Beau did the gentlemanly thing and stepped out of the room. She whispered near his ear, “You did it, honey. You did it. You’re out of the woods, and you’ll be back on your feet before you know it. I’m going back home. I love you, A.J. Always.” She tried to just brush by Beau, but he reached out and snagged her into a hard hug. “I don’t like that you’re leaving like this,” he murmured, “and I’m not going to pretend that I do, but regardless, we’re still friends. I’ll let you know how he’s doing.” “Don’t worry,” she smiled and cried at the same time, drowning his shoulder, “I’m going to call you at least a thousand times a day.” They hugged again, hard and tight, then he let her go with the utmost reluctance, watching her sob as she walked away, - 43 BacksideOfLove.com

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wanting desperately to drag her back so that hers was the first face A.J. saw when he awoke. But he didn’t.

~~~

Now, as she reminisced in that warm, familiar kitchen, Etta’s hug was a very soothing balm in the middle of what was sure to be an extremely turbulent reunion. “It’s so good to see you back here, child.” Etta wasn’t all that old – maybe fifties or sixties; no one would ever dare to ask under any circumstances. She had always referred to everyone as “child” no matter how old they were in comparison to her. But then she’d watched them grow up. They had the same respect for her as they’d had for their parents. “But I’m not so sure that the Boss is going to be quite as happy to see you,” she said wryly. “Tell me about it,” Hope whined, moving away from Etta to forage in the fridge for a Diet Coke. “Where’s Beau?” She had kind of expected a big welcome from him, but he was nowhere to be found. “He’s down at the barn – Echo is foaling.” She named one of everyone’s favorite horses – and usually the one she rode when she was here. Etta was putting the finishes on a lunch tray that had to be his, adding a container of milk to a paper plate that contained a roast beef club sandwich and a handful of potato chips. “He’s been in such a bad mood lately that I’ve been putting stuff on his tray - 44 BacksideOfLove.com

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that won’t break when it hits the wall or stain the carpeting when it dribbles to the floor.” “Does he have physical therapy or anything like that?” Etta snorted. “He did, until he drove that poor little girl away in tears, along with every nurse his brothers have hired for him.” She was tsking and shaking her head sadly. Hope had a thought. “Would you do me a favor and call and reschedule PT for him – with a man?” “Sure I will! I’ll do anything for him, you know that.” “Good. Thank you,” she reached out and patted Etta’s hand. “So would I. What’s his schedule been like?” “When he’s not throwing his food around or yelling at me for something, or intimidating the people who’re here to help him, he lies in his bed and mopes. He’s wasting away.” Hope took a deep sigh and a long pull of soda, then straightened her shoulders and took the finished tray from Etta’s hands. “I’ll take this.” With the older woman’s inspiring comment, “I hope you packed a suit of armor,” ringing in her ears, she wandered down the hall. His room had been the master bedroom since his parents died, but since they couldn’t get a wheelchair up all those stairs, they had installed him in the spare guest bedroom on the ground floor. Hope reached out her hand, watching it shake badly as she grabbed the doorknob and turned, before she had a chance to chicken out. He needed her to be strong. - 45 BacksideOfLove.com

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Throwing the door open wide, she crowed a line she had rarely ever used herself, considering it to be the most glaring of all oxymorons. “Good morning! Ooh, this is lunch, though. Maybe I should be saying good afternoon, instead.” The room was a bit smaller than the expansive bedrooms upstairs, and, she suspected, kept deliberately dark. Ignoring him entirely, she set the tray down on top of the big bureau and crossed the room to tie the curtains apart and push the window wide open. She also left the door open behind her, so that there would be some cross ventilation. The room was very stuffy. “What are you doing here?” Even his voice sounded weaker, at first, until he got his wind behind him. “You’re not supposed to be here! I don’t want you to see me like this. Get out!” He sat up on his elbows, all angry and affronted. It wasn’t easy, but Hope let his tantrum bounce right off her businesslike demeanor. She rescued the tray from the dresser and stepped to his side, noting with a sinking heart the wheelchair in the corner of the room. She wanted to break down and sob right then and there, that this wonderful, vibrant man had lost so much of his physical abilities. It was no wonder he was cranky – not that she was going to put up with it in the least. “Here’s your lunch. Sit up some, so you don’t choke.” He turned his head towards the window. “Take it away, and get out of my room!” His every word was bellowed loudly, and with the window and the door open, Hope was quite sure that everyone in the house was going to get a juicy earful of this battle – but it was one she didn’t intend to lose. She executed a sharp about face and put the tray back on the dresser and left. Lying on the bed, a broken, shattered shadow of his former self, A.J. heaved a sigh of relief. He’d won. He couldn’t believe - 46 BacksideOfLove.com

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she’d come all the way down here to see him, but at least he’d been able to convince her that he didn’t want to see her. It was unbearable enough to be in this condition without Hope seeing him lying here like a mangled doll. But then, seconds later, she reappeared, carrying one of the chairs from the dining room, and whisking the tray to his bedside again, sitting down right next to him and placing the tray on his nightstand. “What would you like to start with first – this sandwich looks really good. I think you’re going to have to share.” She held the plate out to him and took her half off the plate, then waited for him to do the same. He pushed the plate away, saying in his most stubborn, petulant voice, “I’m not hungry. Take that away, and while you’re at it you can just go right back to Tennessee. I don’t need your pity.” “Good,” she said firmly, “because you’re not going to get it. I came down here to help you recover, and that’s just exactly what I’m going to do. I’ve already told Etta to reschedule your physical therapy, and I’m the last nurse you’re going to get. I come real cheap, and I don’t give up.” His face was a mask of pain as he spit out sarcastically, “Oh, don’t you?” That barb hurt, but she steeled herself against letting him know he’d succeeded in wounding her. “No, I don’t, unless I have a good reason. Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. It doesn’t make any difference to me, but you’re going to eat this lunch if I have to cram it down your throat.” A.J’s eyes flaired with a threatening look that once would have sent her scampering to do as she was told. But he hadn’t participated in his recovery enough to truly back up the promise in - 47 BacksideOfLove.com

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those angry eyes. He looked from her, to the lunch, and back again, knowing that when she got into a mood like this, when she engaged her stubborn gene, she was worse than if her name was already Thornton. But he wasn’t about to give in so easily. He proceeded to take the plate from her and dump the contents – plate and all – into the wastebasket on the other side of the bed, saying, “I’m done with lunch. Now get out.” She watched him try to physically turn over onto his side – to present her with his back – but it looked like an extremely painful process. Hope’s heart sank. She couldn’t bear for him to be this uncomfortable. “Are you due for pain meds any time soon?” she asked hopefully. She got no answer. After a long moment of silence, Hope rose and went around the bed to collect the plate, at least, from the wastebasket. Then she gathered it with the tray and stepped out of the room with a heavy sigh, leaving the door open behind her. When she got back to the kitchen, she had to shake her head at Etta’s hopeful look, putting the tray on the island and slumped down onto one of its bar stools to wallow in her ignominious defeat. For at least five seconds.

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Chapter III

B

eau burst through the back door and interrupted her self-pity fest. He crossed the room and lifted her up into a big bear hug, murmuring his thanks over and over again and squeezing her tight, until she had to bang on his shoulder to get him to let her down. When he finally allowed her to slide to her feet, he grabbed her hand and kissed it, saying again, “Thank you for coming down – I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.” “It wasn’t and it isn’t. But he needs me, so I’m here to help.” Beau sank down onto one of the barstools. “Have you been in there yet?” Hope sighed loudly. “Yeah, I went in to give him his lunch, which he, of course refused to eat.” “And you let him get away with it?” The surprise was palpable in his voice. “Nope, just girding my loins for round two.”

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Beau was a font of knowledge about his brother’s medical condition – he told her about the meds A.J.’d been given for pain, which he of course refused to use unless he was in excruciating pain, and even then. He told her about his doctors, who had said that unless he turned himself around rather quickly, and dedicated himself to a vigorous – if painful – physical therapy routine, his muscles would atrophy, and he wouldn’t be able to recover as fully. He might or might not end up with a limp. No one had expected that he would give up, that he would become an angry invalid who showed little sign of having any interest in getting back to the life he’d had before. The huge smile on his face revealed just how much faith he had in abilities she wasn’t at all sure she possessed. “Good girl. Give him hell.” “I fully intend to.” She got up and fixed another roast beef sandwich and added a handful of potato chips to the plate. The milk and a slab of Etta’s famous toffee nut bars were still on the tray, along with the silverware and napkin. “Wish me luck,” she said blithely as she started back down the hall. He was just where she’d left him, so she went around to the side of the bed he was facing, greeting him with a huge smile. “I’m ba-aaccck! I’m sure you missed me terribly,” she winked at him, but he missed it because he refused to meet her eyes. Taking a deep breath, Hope straightened her back and plunged ahead with what she needed to say. “Okay, let me tell you how this is going to go. I’m going to be here for now until as long as it takes to get you up on your feet, at least. You’re going to see my ugly mug three times a day and any other times I can possibly manage to come in here and bug the hell out of you. If you don’t - 50 BacksideOfLove.com

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want to see me, I suggest you get to work on whatever exercises PT gave you, get your muscles strong again and walk away from me – or, in the interim, get into your wheelchair and roll out into the kitchen. “As it stands right now, if you don’t want to eat what I bring you and there’s something else you like, then I’d be glad to made it and bring it to you. But don’t think that I’m going to let you starve yourself to death. Right now, if I decided to try to force you to eat, you know that you’re so weak I could do it.” What A.J. knew was that she was trying some sort of reverse psychology babble on him, and damned if it wasn’t working. He knew that getting her here had to be Beau’s handiwork. Beau knew that if there was anyone in this world that he didn’t want around right now, it was Hope. He certainly wasn’t going to have the woman he loved feeding him like a baby. And he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would do it – hell, she’d enjoy doing it. So when she put half of the half of a sandwich that she hadn’t claimed for himself, as if she was trying to entice a particularly surly bear out of his cave, he sighed heavily and reached for it, although it held absolutely no interest for him. He bit and chewed mechanically, deliberately not looking at her. He couldn’t believe she was here – that she’d come all this way, just to see him – and annoy him to death, apparently. Especially since the last time he’d seen her – when he’d done the thing that had driven her out of his life – she had been practically cursing his name and furiously while trying to pull her shorts and panties up in one motion, nearly tripping over them both in her haste to get away from him.

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It was like a bad dream – here he was, a weak, pathetic cripple, and here she was, finally, telling him she’d stay as long as he needed her. Didn’t she realize he always needed her? That no matter how long he knew her, his ache for her never had diminish – never would diminish? It hadn’t one iota in all these years. In fact, it had only gotten more and more fervent, even when he’d known that he would never again be the man he had been, and that he had to give up his dream of having her by his side, of only so that he wasn’t a burden to the woman he loved. She deserved a whole man; a man who could do and be everything she needed. He was pretty sure he’d never walk beside her again. He’d never sit a horse again. He’d be lucky – he snorted within his mind – if he could ever use a cane or even a walker. A.J. didn’t want to be a cripple. He had never let anything get him down. He had worked through pain, and sickness – hell, he had nearly let his appendix burst on him one year because it was bothering him during roundup – the most inconvenient of times. Nothing and no one had ever struck him down like this. If he got hit, he hit back harder, and made sure he finished the fight on top. But this was more than he could take. More than he could bear. And for her to see him in this completely debilitated state. It wasn’t right. She shouldn’t do it. She shouldn’t be here. It was her fault. She’d called him back to life. He’d heard her voice, even though the fog and the haze of the drugs and the machines and the pain – she’d called to him, called him back from where everything was light and warm and blank. She’d touched him, touched his arm, spoken to him in that soft, melodic voice of hers. He didn’t understand the words; he could only feel the love behind them, and it was irresistible. He came back to her, he responded to her call.

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And when he awoke, she was gone. There was no feminine warmth, no gentle, loving touch to stay wake for, to stay here for. His brothers lavished their attention and affection on him, of course, but all of that testosterone filled back patting and encouragement couldn’t have done for him what she could have, if she’d been willing to stay until he was conscious. Yet here she was, now. When he was less himself than he’d ever been in his life. When there was less of him left. When he’d already given up hope for them. For himself. A.J. put the last bit of sandwich back on the plate, saying as he let his eyes drift closed on the agonizing shame of her presence, and his state. “Go away. Go home.” Her answer was quiet, but emphatic. “No.” One of the few muscles he still had eminent domain over were his eyelids, and they snapped open, revealing angry, darkening blue eyes. He drew a deep breath, which was much shallower than it ever had been in his life, managing to sound like some semblance of the man he had been, even if in voice only. “Get the fuck out of here. Now. And don’t come back. Ever.” It might as well have been yelled at her. A.J. never yelled. He didn’t need to. Hope’s face blanched white, and he knew he’d hit his target. A.J. steeled himself and continued his diatribe. Nothing could be worse than having her sitting there in front of him, full of pity and sorrow. “Are you deaf as well as dumb? Get out! I don’t want you here! Get out of my house!” If it was possible, her words made her even whiter, and somehow, somewhere inside him he felt a sort of triumph, that at least he could make her feel something other than pity at his decrepit state. - 53 BacksideOfLove.com

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Hope swallowed hard. She’d never realized how awful it would be to hear those words from him – hear him trying desperately to drive her away. But she wasn’t about to let him. Instead, she moved the tray off his nightstand and onto the floor, crossed her arms over her chest and stretched her legs out to prop them up where the tray had perched, giving him a triumphant glare. “You know, I believe what we have here is a failure to communicate. You can rail at me all you like – although I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from using vulgarities. I told you before. The only way you’re going to get me to leave is if you – yourself – manage to get yourself strong enough to get out of that bed and pick me up and physically pack me into your car – which, by the way, since it’s currently languishing in the garage I think I’m going to drive while I’m here –“ she added calculatedly, wishing he would give her the tongue lashing he used to when she used to threaten to so much as touch his “baby”. His eyes did narrow some, but it was nowhere near the reaction she was hoping for. “ – and drive me to the airport yourself. Your brothers want me here. I want to be here. So you’re stuck with me, until you’re strong enough to remove me yourself.” She heard him sigh heavily, but all he did was close his eyes. Hope almost wept. Where was that big strong man who’d never let anything get him down? She was going to resurrect him, even if it killed them both. As she looked around the room, she noticed that there was nothing in here that would provide any sort of entertainment. She didn’t know if that was his doing or his brothers’ – although she - 54 BacksideOfLove.com

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suspected him – she knew that he needed to be mentally stimulated. She could only annoy him so much, or so she thought. “You need a TV in here. And a magazine rack. And a DVD player, and a VCR.” She scratched her chin, remembering that the ranch had a satellite hookup. “Scratch the VCR – we’ll get you a DVR. They’re easier to use – no pesky rewinding.” Hope stood, looking around thoughtfully. “Yep. Then I can come in here and watch my soaps with you every day, and we can rent some DVDs and watch some movies together – all of us. I know you’ll just love that.” He hadn’t moved, but she thought she heard him sigh again, when he should have been at her throat. He hated soap operas – he called them the opiate of the masses – and movies had never been his thing, either, except the occasional classic, like anything John Wayne, or any incarnation of “The Godfather”. She sighed, wishing she could wave a magic wand and put him back to rights. But it wasn’t going to be that easy, and she had to gird her loins. Just being in the room with him, even when he was in this state, was enough to make her need to do a lot more than that to her loins, but that was a long way off for the both of them. Instead, she rounded the end of the bed and leaned down to kiss his cheek, more to annoy him than anything else. She certainly didn’t expect that he was going to turn his head and greet her lips. He tried to bring the blanket up to cover his head, but Hope easily subdued him, which just made her brow furrow that much more. There was no way she could have done that before. He had had incredible upper body strength and she never had any hope of being able to override him physically when he was himself.

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Hope couldn’t help herself. She whispered, “I love you,” into his ear as she kissed him. The words just tumbled past her lips with no help from her brain whatsoever. His snort said it all. “You left me. Twice. Why don’t you just cut everyone’s losses and leave again, now.” A.J.’s pathetic little speech wasn’t even delivered with an ounce of animosity, and yet it struck her as if he’d been literally filled with vitriol. She couldn’t breathe, and she backed off the bed as if she’d been stung. And she had. Suddenly feeling much less sure of herself than she had, she said quietly, “I’m going to go see about getting a TV in here for you, at least.” Although she felt like a rat deserting a sinking ship, Hope couldn’t backpedal fast enough. She was so devastated, so wrapped up in the hurt he had so viciously, and so quietly wreaked, that she nearly ran head long into Beau, who was barreling down the hall. “Whoa. Where’s the fire?” Hope could barely look at him, but he could see that her eyes were filled with tears. The same muscle that had ticked so often in A.J.’s jaw when he was annoyed with her, pulsed at the side of Beau’s face. “What did he say to you?” When she responded, after taking several seconds to compose herself, her voice was as toneless as A.J.’s had been. “Nothing. Nothing that wasn’t called for.” Beau reached out and tipped her chin up, and said, as serious as a heart attach, “If he hurts you, crippled or not, I’ll take him down.” Hope frowned. “He’s down far enough as it is. My coming here was supposed to help him - ” - 56 BacksideOfLove.com

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“ – not hurt you,” he ended her sentence firmly. “I don’t care how sick he is – physically or mentally. I won’t tolerate anyone in this family abusing you, including him.” She smiled weakly and chuffed a bit. “You sound just like him.” He returned her smile with an endearingly crooked grin. “Occupational hazard.” “Familial hazard,” Hope corrected wryly, beginning to walk down the hall again towards the kitchen. “Every one of you sounds alike, and that is not a compliment.” They spend most of the afternoon – or rather what time Beau could devote to it when the reins of running this ranch, as well as the ranch he owned down the road had fallen into his lap once A.J. had become incapacitated. Hope grilled him even more than she had about A.J.’s condition, wondering aloud at one point whether he had a therapist, but Beau’s derisive snort had reminded her of who it was they were talking about. “I suggested it, but I’m sure you can imagine what the man’s reaction was.” Hope grimaced. “I’m sure I can. Well, I’d really like him to have one, but I know that it won’t do any good if he doesn’t want it. Does he take all his meals alone in his room?” “He prefers it. He hates the wheelchair – says everyone stares at him when he’s in it – so Etta just took to bringing them to him – not that he eats much of them, anyway, though.” Worrying her lip the whole while, Hope suggested, “Well, I’m no expert, although I think that’s going to be something I’m - 57 BacksideOfLove.com

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going to do for myself – get a hold of someone I can talk to about helping him even if he doesn’t want to be helped. But wouldn’t it be better for him to have some contact with people – like having meals with everyone else? Even if we have to force him?” The idea of forcing a man like A.J. – at least the man he had been – rankled both of them. But they also agreed that it might do him some good. Hope made sure to call his physical therapist, too, and enlist her in assisting them as much as possible. The woman had sounded a bit skeptical – and Hope couldn’t blame her. Beau had told Hope that the last time she was here, A.J. had thrown a lamp at her. But Hope could be just as stubborn as A.J. when the situation called for it, and this one certainly did. She managed to harangue the woman – whose name was Heather – into coming back, if only just once, so that she could show Hope what to do. If she decided not to continue with A.J., then Hope wanted to know what the right moves were. She didn’t care of A.J. threw the damned bed at her. In fact, that would have been great – at least he would have had to have been angry, and much stronger in order to be able to do that.

~~~ So, since everyone was going to congregate here anyway to have dinner with Hope, who was one of their most favorite people, it was decided between the two of them that A.J. should also be in attendance. They informed everyone of their plan once everyone had gathered in the kitchen, unrepentantly sneaking bites of first the salad Etta made, and then the steak and fried potatoes and onions - 58 BacksideOfLove.com

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she was making for Hope’s return, since that was her favorite meal. Everyone seemed to agree that it was probably a good idea, but none of them were sure that they could pull it off. Even sickly, A.J. was a force to be reckoned with – if only in memory of how powerful and dominant he used to be. Going against him, even now, wasn’t settling well with any of them. But Hope had a strong feeling that coddling him as they had been all along, wasn’t helping him either, and that making things as close to normal as possible might help him. She’d already discussed with Beau the fact that, although it was great that he had stepped in so readily and was doing so much of what needed to be done to keep the family business going, that that might even be contributing to how helpless and hopeless he was feeling, since no one seemed to need him for anything any more. Giving him something to do – even if it was only the stacks of paperwork that piled up because no one wanted to do them – might just be part of the key to resurrecting him. Hope’s eyes flooded with tears – a condition she was rapidly becoming accustomed to. She would give her right arm – and her left and both legs – if he would just give her the kind of hassle she was used to. She wasn’t even asking to resume the intimacy they’d had before she’d left so abruptly the first time. She just wanted him to be healthy and happy and pushy and dictatorial again. She wanted him to be the way he’d always been – the only way she could think of him and not get that horrid ache in her chest. Once dinner was ready, and everyone’s hands – except hers and Beau’s – were full of dishes to bring into the dining room table, the two co-conspirators wandered back down the hall towards the room where the man everyone in the house loved to distraction – a man who, if anyone he loved had been faced with the same - 59 BacksideOfLove.com

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situation as he was being challenged by, would never have let them curl up and waste away under any circumstances. And it was about time, as far as Beau and Hope and the whole family was concerned, that he got back on the horse – or as closely as he possibly could. If it took pissing him off royally, which was pretty much a given, considering what they were planning, then they were all quite willing to risk the idea that he was going to hate them well and good for a while, at least until he started seeing some results from his efforts. From this point on, he would be attending family meals, instead of being allowed to hole up in his room – in the room. His room was upstairs – the master suite that he’d taken over after their parents had died, and come hell or high water, one way or the other, they all wanted to see him back in his rightful room. If it came to the idea that they needed to build ramps or elevators or whatever, they would make sure it was done. The Thornton family had almost lost one of their own, and now they were going to reclaim him – whether he wanted to be reclaimed or not. Hope had left his door open, and he had remained in place, on his side, facing away from it. “It’s dinner time,” she said with forced cheer as Beau trailed into the room behind her. Nothing. Not a peep. If he’d been asleep before, he wouldn’t have been now. Hope wasn’t known for her soft, soothing voice. “C’mon. Let’s get to it. I’m hungry.” She rolled his wheelchair over to the side of the bed closest to him. Beau handed her a fancy, slick plastic board, although she had no idea what to do with it. - 60 BacksideOfLove.com

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At her confused look, he supplied, “It’s a transfer board to help him get himself into the wheelchair.” Hope nodded. “Well, I’m all for making him do things himself. Lord knows, I’m not about to wait on him hand and foot under any circumstances.” “Go away. I’m not going anywhere.” He sounded tired and lost, and something hot and painful burst within Hope’s heart. He’d been her rock. He’d been everyone’s rock . . . She cleared her throat quickly, suppressing the urge to cry yet again. He needed her tears now even less than he ever had before. Crying over him would do neither of them any good. She and Beau just stood there, waiting – and hoping against hope – that he would simply come to his senses, somehow, and acquiesce to their quiet demands. But after several long moments, they nodded sadly to each other. It wasn’t going to be anywhere near that easy. He wasn’t about to make it that easy. A.J. had had a hard descent from a being a man who was on top of the world – who ran his own little benevolent dictatorship and even somewhat beyond the realm of the Circle T. But his pervue had shrunken quite a bit, and now he couldn’t even be sure that he could control his own body. But he hadn’t lost one particular stubborn ability. He could say no, and mean it. Only he no longer had the physical capacity to make it stick, and his younger brother was about to drive that humiliating point home in the most elemental of ways. - 61 BacksideOfLove.com

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Chapter IV

I

t took Beau a depressingly short amount of time to lift A.J. into his wheelchair. Hope had forgotten to consider what he might be wearing – or not wearing. Luckily, he had both the tops and bottoms of a pair of men’s pajamas on, which was some sort of miracle in itself, considering he’d lacked both as far as she knew when she was intimate with him. He always came to bed completely nude, while she had a nightgown and panties on . . . at least for the first five seconds. Hope was shocked and dismayed at how thin and small he was. It upset her view of things – A.J. had always been such a big, robust man, someone to whom all eyes – especially female eyes – were drawn whenever he entered a room. He was the man every woman wanted and every man wanted to be like. He could have had any woman in the world, and yet he’d chosen her. And, as he’d said, she’d left him. Twice. Well, that wasn’t going to happen again. If he would have her – and it didn’t look at this point as if he’d have anyone; he was too buried in his own pain – she would stay with him forever. She reached for a blanket to put over his legs, then decided against it. No sense in reinforcing his invalid status. He didn’t - 62 BacksideOfLove.com

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need to look any more like a ninety year old man than he already did. “Beau, put me back in bed!” A.J. growled, sounding like a hollow imitation of his former self. “Make him,” Hope challenged before Beau could reply. “If you can get back into bed on your own, you’re welcome to. Until that time, you’re having dinner with the family from now on.” Instead of accepting the physical challenge, A.J. resorted to cutting remarks. “Why should she have a say in my recovery? She’s not even a family member,” he sneered. For some reason, that hurt more than almost anything he could have said. Even when they weren’t involved, she’d always been a part of their family, like a little sister even if she was older than some of the brothers. Apparently, any sort of status she’d had previously had been completely eradicated by moving away – at least as far as he was concerned. She wanted to crumble right there at his feet, but that was not an option. She needed to be strong for him, even if he didn’t know it right now. So she turned and walked out the door, confident that he and Beau would follow her, saying sarcastically, “What recovery?” He was wheeled into the dining room, which, when everyone had been living at home and most especially when their parents were alive, was used every evening. Naomi was an excellent cook, and the family thrived on the daily ritual of feasting – and the louder than was polite “discussions” and slams that served as dinner conversation among the testosterone filled majority. When Hope had been lucky enough to be included on these dinners, she’d joined in and held her own with the best of them, much to Naomi’s feigned disgust but secret pleasure. Austin, - 63 BacksideOfLove.com

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Sr. had long held that he who could argue the loudest – not necessarily the best, but the loudest – won, but Hope wasn’t in the least afraid of going toe to toe with the old man – or any of his sons – and that had earned her the respect and admiration of everyone at the table. Since their beloved father had passed on, A.J. had taken his rightful place at the head of the table, although he had argued against it. Until she joined him several years later, Naomi had maintained her place to his right, close to the door where it was easy to get up and down to get more of everything, which was an inevitability with her growing brood. Even when they got older, the need for a gigantic evening meal never dwindled – not only were her chicks still coming home to roost, they were bringing their dates with them, and Naomi couldn’t have been more tickled. So when Beau got A.J. to the dining room, he saw that the captain’s chair that had been there had been moved to the corner, and positioned him right where he should have been all along – at the head of the table. There was a pause for a moment as the other gathered brothers and Hope nearly broke out into applause. This – minus the wheelchair and with A.J. fully recovered to his usual ornery self – was the way things should be. Instead, Etta burst into the room at that very moment with Hope’s favorite heart attack on a platter meal. There wasn’t one green thing on the menu – even the green beans got disqualified from having any sort of healthful benefits, considering they were cooked in bacon grease and strewn with almonds and caramelized onions. As a family ritual, everyone who wasn’t already standing stood, as if in salute to the food and the cook thereof. She set the plates down in the center of the shiny mahogany table, then took her own sacred chair, which was the signal that everyone else could seat themselves.

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Hope slipped into what had been Naomi’s place very naturally, filling everyone’s plate – starting with A.J.’s – then passing it back to its ever grateful, slavering owner. Except A.J., who remained slumped like a stubborn lump, not even reaching out to get his plate. Hope ignored him and fed everyone else, but kept a weather eye on him at the same time. As the usual banter flew around them, Hope noticed that he hadn’t so much as picked up his knife or fork – not that Etta’s roasted garlic and butter drenched steak needed either utensil. It melted into a pool right on the plate. She needled firmly but softly, “Is there something wrong with your arms or your mouth?” No answer – just a blank, pinched stare. “Well, there’s nothing wrong with your brain that wasn’t already a problem before the accident. Eat,” she said, throwing in the ultimate threat, “or I’ll let your brother’s help you.” No older brother ever wanted his younger brothers to help him with anything. And Hope had already established that she wasn’t going to let him get away with what everyone else had, dancing around the his depression and not challenging him in any way, probably because they were too used to him being the one who challenged them. He didn’t meet her eyes, but did, reluctantly, and with the exaggerated slowness of a stubborn child, lean forward and begin to cut his meat. It was another unnaturally hushed moment. Cade looked around the room as everyone held their breath. None of them had been able to accomplish what Hope had done in a matter of a few hours. But then, none of them had ever slept with A.J. He shrugged off the shudder than ran through him at the thought and allowed a long held sigh of relief to pass his lips when - 65 BacksideOfLove.com

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A.J. took his first voluntary bite of food at this table in much too long a time. But Hope was way ahead of everyone else – probably because she hadn’t been here to see his gradual decline and feel the helplessness of it all. She’d already gone through her first small helpings of everything, and after issuing a horrendously loud burp – which, in the Thornton family once their mother had died passed for a tremendous compliment to the chef – asked Dunn to pass the steak. Etta’s disparaging “Hope!” fell on deaf ears as Dunn did the smart thing before he handed the beautiful Spode platter to Hope – he stabbed another big slab of steak for himself. As she watched A.J. surreptitiously to make sure that he was actually eating and not just playing with his food to give the impression that he was eating, Hope threw out a conversational gambit that was sure to ruffle feathers. “So. Where are all your girlfriends and how come none of you handsome hunks have gotten married?” The sputtering and backpedaling that resulted from that one question lasted for most of the rest of the evening. It appeared that everyone was too involved in trying to establish their career – and she gave Eric an automatic pass because he hadn’t been out of college that long. And, in actuality, she didn’t care whether or not they had girlfriends – or boyfriends for that matter, although that was highly unlikely in the midst of this extremely heterosexual festival that was the Thornton family – as long a they were happy. She’d just felt like channeling their mother and stirring things up a bit. That, she had learned at their father’s knee, was what the dinner table was for. Not for them boring conversations about the weather. They tackled the bit stuff – loudly, raucously, and very intelligently: abortion, religion, baseball, politics. One of - 66 BacksideOfLove.com

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the strange accoutrement in the Thornton dining room – proudly displayed – was an Oxford English Dictionary, complete with magnifying glass, spread out and opened – both volumes – on the antique, Edwardian mahogany sideboard, where Naomi would much rather have displayed more of the china cups she collected. There was a matching set on the credenza in his den. They had been acquired when the family didn’t have the money to spare, but education of all sorts was a priority as far as Austin was concerned, and the sooner he established that the better. But no. Austin Sr. required that a dictionary be readily available to his boys from day one – even when A.J. was still in his high chair. He mandated that no one around the children ever curb their language – except as pertained to vulgarities – that no one ever talk down to them or use baby talk. That way, if he was taking one – or all of them, as happened on occasion – to task, they could feel free to look up any of the words their father was using to castigate them. And it had paid off. The sets were well worn by now, some of the pages positively dog eared. And all of their sons had college degrees. All of them were successful in their chosen fields – and neither of their parents had had any prejudices about what those fields could be or not be. They had strict rules for the boys while they’d grown up, and one of the strictest was that they didn’t do things just because they thought they should, and it had paid off. Austin had fervently hoped – in the back of his mind, never letting on to anyone but his wife in the middle of the night – that at least one of his sons would grow up and want to take over the ranch. He’d never expected the bounty he’d gotten; both A.J. and Beau had ranching in their hearts. The other boys had found their own niches, or were well on their way by the time he had to leave - 67 BacksideOfLove.com

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them. He died at home, gently, surrounded by his loving family, knowing he had done good by them all. Although A.J. had eaten some – and Hope knew enough not to figure that as emaciated as he was he would eat anywhere near the amount he would have before the accident, he hadn’t said a thing, just sat back and watched everyone else pick and needle and poke – and sometimes slap or punch each other. He didn’t even try to referee, which was a position he’d adopted naturally when his father was no longer capable of restraining the four younger, boisterous males. Even Hope had gotten into the act – smacking Eric when he’d alluded to her advanced age, which was nonetheless depressingly true especially considering that he was ten years younger than she and A.J., and verbally flipping Cade the bird when he suggested that her cooking wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. “Got somethin’ in my eye, Cade,” she threw out, trying to kick him under the table since he was right across from her. It was easier than one might think when every male at the table was well over six feet. She flung her foot out and caught someone – and it had gotten to the point where she didn’t much care who it was. Dunn was the one who ended up reaching down to rub his shin, his eyes promising revenge. “I don’t see any of you cooking,” Hope replied, taking up the cause. “Besides, I didn’t make this feast, which, by the way, Etta, is phenomenal.” She raised a forkful of blissfully tender steak and onions to the older woman in heartfelt salute. “Besides, I don’t see any of you wasting away.” The words were out of her mouth before she thought of them, and how depressingly well they described A.J. But she wasn’t going to tiptoe around him, anyway, censoring every possible word. He was in a wheelchair right now largely by choice, - 68 BacksideOfLove.com

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and Hope wasn’t going to pull her punches. Everyone had been doing enough of that around him for months now, and it hadn’t done him any good. “Besides,” she continued as smoothly as possible. “I’ll cook while I’m here – when I’m not taking care of A.J.” Riotous applause greeted her announcement, and Hope felt it necessary to lean towards Etta and say in a loud stage whisper, “They’re not trying to be mean, you know.” Etta snorted. “Oh, I know. They’re not about to insult me in the least – I’m the one whose been feeding them all this while, and I’ll be cooking for them after you leave.” Her words were nothing but the truth, although they didn’t set well with Hope – especially the “after she left” part. “’Sides, if you’re cooking, I don’t have to.” Etta was an excellent cook, but her heart wasn’t in it. Hope, however, had inherited Naomi’s love of all things cooking, and when she made a dish for the family, her heart and soul were in it. When everyone was finished – which meant that they had come awful close to running out of food – the men stood and cleared the table. It had always been the brothers’ job to clean up, since either their mother, Hope, or Etta had always cooked. Once the dinner dishes had been cleared away, Etta brought in a three layer coconut cake and placed it with much flourish in front of Hope, whose eyes were nearly the size of the cake. She licked her lips and grabbed a clean fork, saying, “Thank you, Etta! What are the rest of you having for dessert?” There was no way she would ever be able to get away with eating the whole thing herself – not that she could, anyway – and - 69 BacksideOfLove.com

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eventually everyone else tucked into a slice of their own, even A.J., and a cup of hot, cut it with scissors coffee. Hope’s eyes rolled back into her head at the first forkful. “Ambrosia, Etta! Thank you!” A.J. only had one bite of it, but Hope was ecstatic that he’d even bothered with that. But after that one mouthful, his fork clanked loudly onto the small plate and he slumped in the chair, as if he just couldn’t hold it – or himself – up another minute. Hope immediately got up and went to the back of the wheelchair, unlocking the brakes on the wheels and pushing him slowly back towards his room. They left to a heartfelt chorus of “we miss yous” and “it’s good to see you back”s. Beau was there, as if by magic, to lift him back into the bed while Hope fussed and berated herself for not watching him more carefully. Of course sitting up like that – when he was no longer used to it – would tire him out, especially considering how long winded Thornton family meals could be. She almost reconsidered the idea of having him attend them, but then decided that the mental stimulation – sophomoric as much of it was – would probably do him more good than the exertion would do physical harm. And she vowed to watch him much more carefully next time for signs of exhaustion. When the heavy lifting was done, Beau left them there together without a word. Hope took a seat on the edge of the bed and naturally started to rub A.J.’s shoulders as he lay on his side, facing her, figuring that they might be achy since he hadn’t sat up that long for quite a while, apparently. But as soon as her hand met his flesh, he said one word. “Stop.” - 70 BacksideOfLove.com

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Hope withdrew her hand as if she’d been burned, biting her lip uncertainly. She’d meant only to give comfort, forgetting that that was the last thing he wanted from her. “I just wanted - ” “Go away.” Two sad, soft words that tore her heart in two each time he uttered them. Her natural reaction was to stiffen her back and do the exact opposite, but perhaps he was tired and just wanted to get to sleep. “All right. But I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow morning - ” “Don’t bother. Go away. Go home, all the way. To Tennessee. And don’t come back. I don’t want you here. I’m not some charity project for you. You don’t want to be here, and I don’t want you here. Get out.” His nasty little speech was all the worse for its quiet, almost apathetic delivery, and it certainly hit home for Hope, who had been through an atrocious day, and just when she’d thought she’d been making some sort of headway with him, he came right back around full circle to being a callus s.o.b. who just wanted to wallow in self pity. She had no excuse for the way she simply turned tail and ran out of the room, hand over her mouth, stumbling blindly past Eric, who had automatically reached out to hold her, upstairs to the spare room she’d occupied before she and A.J. had become involved, slamming the door behind her and throwing herself onto the bed while bawling her heart out. Long moments later, there was a soft knock on her door. She didn’t want to answer it, but she knew the brothers would have no compunctions about blowing it off its hinges if they felt the - 71 BacksideOfLove.com

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need, so she practically fell off the bed and slunk to the door, opening it without looking then heading back to the bed. “Are you all right?” Beau asked, trying to waylay her unsuccessfully. “I’m fine!” she sobbed, curling up in a ball on the bed. “What happened? What did he say to you?” everyone asked at once. “Nothing more th-than he’s been saying since I g-got here,” she breathed raggedly. “It’s just been a long day and it got to me.” Four huge men all tried to occupy her small queen sized bed and not push her off onto the floor. Needless to say, the bed sagged considerably. “But you’re going to stay, right?” Eric put into words what everyone else was thinking. Hope sniffled and looked up at all those eager masculine faces. “Yes, of course. This is one of the few times in his life that he’s not going to win. I’m here for the long haul. Longer, if he’ll have me, which I doubt. But at least until he’s truly back on his feet. I’m going to annoy him into getting better.” “Excellent.” They all indulged in a rare group hug, which was generally reserved for weddings and funerals, and then the brothers left her to get some sleep. Cade, however, hung back, turning back to say as he reached the door, “You want I should smack him around some?” in his best Mafia goon accent. He and Hope – and A.J. - were mob movie aficionados – whenever they were anywhere near each other, a movie marathon with highlights such as “The Godfather” incarnations, “Goodfellas”, and “Casino”, among others, couldn’t be far off. - 72 BacksideOfLove.com

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She rewarded him with a small smile and an almost laugh. “No, but that’s part of what you guys have to stop doing, for real. You need to treat him as close to normal as possible. I know it’s not easy, but you have to continue to expect things of him – not quite what you did before, but as close as you can.” Cade nodded. “You’re right. We’ll do better. Thank you for coming down. For what it’s worth, I hope you stay. He needs you – and not just because he’s sick right now. He always needs you, although he’d probably die than admit it.” Hope nodded. “That’s just it – he’d just as soon die than admit he needs anyone or anything, the stubborn coot.” “Well, if you ever need me to beat him up – it’s likely to be the only chance I’ll ever get . . . ” He was right. As the oldest – and biggest – brother, A.J. was the one who had done the beating, on the rare occasions when it had become necessary and his attempts at mediation hadn’t worked. And that had extended to his fiancé, unfortunately, at least as far as spanking went. But Hope, who once she’d tucked herself into bed had tossed and turned despite her utter exhaustion from the events of the day, was rapidly working her way through that concept – and trying valiantly to come to grips with the way his spanking had made her tingle in areas she didn’t want to be tingling at such a show of violence against her person. But, of course, it hadn’t been violence. He’d never – and would never – could never – do anything like that to her. She’d never feared that, ever. Truth be told, she was more afraid of herself and her strange reactions to what he’d done than anything else. - 73 BacksideOfLove.com

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That, and him ever spanking her again. And she knew that if she accepted that he’d spanked her once, then he would take it as tacit acceptance that he could spank her whenever he felt she needed it. And that was the biggest reason she’d run away from him in the first place. Just the thought of it – of being over his lap, of his hand creating that horrid, unbearable sting in her bottom again, making it sore and hot and swollen so close to that area that was perpetually hot and swollen already around him . . . Hope moved restlessly beneath the sea green and pastel pink quilt. She didn’t want to think about this now. She didn’t want to think about this any time at all, but her libido had a mind of its own. This very scene – an instant replay of what had happened before she’d walked out on him – had played out over and over since not long after she’d moved to Tennessee, and it was coming back to roost virulently just because she was in the same house with him. It wasn’t as if he was going to spank her any time soon. Thankfully, he was too weak to do that right now. Hmmmmm. And she should be part of getting him stronger, when he was sure to resume being the benevolent, spanking dictator that he was because . . . Perhaps she needed to reassess exactly what it was she was doing here – if only for the health and happiness of her own butt.

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Chapter V

B

ut there was no question in anyone’s mind that Hope’s presence – although obviously annoying to A.J. – was exactly what he had been needing, as much as he proceeded to protest too much every time she entered his room, which was every five seconds, all day, every day. He couldn’t seem to get rid of her. When she’d left him, he’d thought he wanted to crawl under a rock, especially considering that he knew the definite connection between having taken her over his lap and the fact that she was now hundreds of miles away. She was doing exactly what they hadn’t done – shaking him up, forcing him to change his routine. Somehow, none of the brothers could quite do that – perhaps because they’d been there with him the whole time and were just too close to it, and to him. But Hope seemed to have absolutely no problem doing her level best to piss him off, and get him angry. A.J. was lying on his side on the bed, staring out the window since he had no choice in the matter. She’d come in and taken over – much as he would have if their situations were reversed – opening up the little cave he’d occupied for the past several months and forcing him into the sunlight, and the sunlight into the room. Even the door to his room was now left wide open, so that anyone who passed by – not just Hope – could, and did, feel very free to make a comment or come in and talk at him. He wasn’t very talkative at the best of times, and nowadays he was practically mute. - 75 BacksideOfLove.com

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A.J. took a deep breath of what he had to admit was much fresher air than he’d allowed himself in a long time. Hope had sarcastically remarket that it smelled like the bottom of an old lady’s purse when she practically took his door off the hinges and threw the window sash wide open, and he had to admit – at least to himself – that she was right. And, worse than that, he was afraid that she was right about a lot of other things, too. That next morning after she’d first arrived and forced her way into his ever shrinking world, his physical terrorist, Heather Dennison – the one he’d thrown the lamp towards, not at – had appeared at her side not long after she’d presented him with a breakfast that he had absolutely no interest in. “I have a feeling that you’re going to be wanting a big lunch after the morning you’re going to have,” Hope said, munching on most of the food herself. “I have such a full social calendar,” he drawled while glaring at her. Hope’s smile was pure evil as she got up and took his tray away, saying words that he dreaded the most in this world, because he knew she meant them. “You do now.” And she wasn’t just kidding. Since he still refused to get himself out of bed, Cade this time was the one home who collected his brother into his arms and deposited him gently into the wheelchair. The area out by the pool, that had once been an almost jungle like grotto had become, instead, when he’d first come home, a small gym, so that he could - 76 BacksideOfLove.com

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work out whenever he wanted to. No one had foreseen that he might not want to recover. That wouldn’t be at all like A.J. Apparently they had grossly miscalculated. Hope got him out to by the pool, making stupid remarks all the way about how nice and novel it was for her to be able to push him around for a change. Heather worked with him, very slowly, but for about two hours, showing him the exercises she had been trying to get him to do when she was first hired. But she’d quickly recognized the truth of one of the basic tenets of physical therapy – you only get out of it as much as you put in, and some of her patients weren’t ready to put anything in, for one reason or another. It was too bad that A.J.’s attitude was so bad, but nothing she said or did seemed capable of motivating him. She’d known about Hope and A.J. and the strange circumstances surrounding the end of their engagement. No one had won any money betting on them at all because they were such a sure thing. Everyone knew that they’d only had eyes for each other for forever. There had never been anyone else, seriously, in either of their lives. Everyone knew that A.J. was just waiting for the right moment to pop the question since Hope had come of age. But it seemed that since she’d reappeared, he had perked up some. He wasn’t going to come back full force for quite some time – if ever, she had to concede to herself. But her presence certainly did agitate him – in a good way. In a way that meant he would probably do just about anything to get away from her, and she could use that desperation to help him learn that he could come back a lot more than he had – maybe even all the way back, but, if he worked at it, he could get awfully damned close. Perfection was always her goal, but sometimes it wasn’t an achievable one. Most of what she did for him in these early stages wouldn’t take too much effort on his part. She did a long, slow massage and - 77 BacksideOfLove.com

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some range of motion tests, then did some exercises for his legs that were something that any lay person could do, and Heather was gratified to see that Hope was avidly following her every move. Eventually, once she had A.J. loosened up, she showed Hope pretty much everything she was doing, talking to the both of them all the way about how often this should be done and for how long. She didn’t do too many things this first time. He was going to be sore anyway, because everything she was doing was forcing muscles that hadn’t been used in a long time to do things that they hadn’t been expected to lately. She knew A.J. was on pain meds in general because of some of the damage, but she suggested that he also use ibuprofen to address the muscular pain. Beau appeared towards the end of the lesson, and Heather turned from the cool, competent professional she had been into a shy schoolgirl with a huge crush, and she knew that Hope had noticed it, too. Beau helped A.J. get back into bed this time, although Heather was there, asking why he wasn’t doing it for himself. Hope piped up before anyone else could. “Because he’s too damned stubborn for his own good, and he apparently prefers to be a burden to his younger brothers.” Having delivered that deliberately barbed statement, Hope retreated and left A.J. to his own devices as she said goodbye to Heather, who would be back in two days to see what progress there had been. She didn’t come back again until it was time to supervise the addition of both a TV and a DVD player to the top of the small bureau in A.J.’s room. He had fallen asleep almost before Heather had left, and she had made a small lunch for him and just left it on his nightstand. When she supervised the delivery of his new entertainment equipment, she noticed with a small, private smile that half of it was gone. - 78 BacksideOfLove.com

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Dinner was only slightly less eventful than the last one, but again, he ate some of it. His body wasn’t going to let him get away with not eating when it was being exercised, whether he wanted it to or not. And after dinner Hope came in and repeated the exercised that Heather had done, a little more carefully because she was sure that he was probably hurting from the first go around. She was in tears the entire time, from the moment she picked up his foot to begin to stretch his leg. There was a time when his legs were like tree trunks, and now they had quite obviously dwindled from disuse. But she did every single exercise, twice, before she dragged the back of her hand across her forehead and reached down to bring the sheet back over him. Hope was surprised – but, dare she think it, encouraged – by the fact that he hadn’t objected to the fact that she was doing this, not that there was much he could do about it. At first A.J. decided that he wasn’t even going to look at her, but that didn’t last very long. He loved her. How could he not look for her? He was like a thirsty man at a crystal clear waterfall – there was no way he wasn’t going to drink up every ounce of her that he could get while she was here – for as long a she was here. A lot of his attention, however, was focused on the pain of what she was doing to him. It friggin’ hurt. He knew he’d let himself go in favor of wallowing at the trough of self pity about the accident as well as what he saw as her desertion of him, but he hadn’t realized just how quickly he’d slid downhill. Another part of him was almost trying not to notice her. He’d worried a lot about his sexual abilities after the accident, especially since there didn’t seem to be any. But she was proving that theory wrong, and he had to say he was extremely happy, although he didn’t really want her noticing that response, at least not quite yet, when he wasn’t in any shape to do anything about it. - 79 BacksideOfLove.com

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But one thing he did see were the darkening splotches of her tears as they fell onto the pajamas he had always detested, but which he had found himself in since he’d come back from the hospital. She was absolutely bawling, but she never once wavered in what she was doing. “Darlin’, why are you crying?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking. He had told himself that he’d be as detached as possible, but her tears might as well have been drops of acid that laded directly on his heart. She even looked good to him with a red nose and swollen eyes. “B-Because I’m not used to you being so frail. And bbecause I’m hurting you. I know I’m helping you too, but I’m hurting you and it’s very hard to do.” Her soft, stumbling confession made his heart clench painfully. She knew that what she was doing was hurting him, but she hadn’t stopped doing it. He groaned a little when she brought his leg up and back, his breath hissing in through tightly clenched teeth. “Sounds a lot like how I felt about having to spank you.” Her loud sort made him almost smile. “You didn’t have to spank me.” “I felt that I had to spank you just as much as you feel you have to do these exercises for me, Hope. Not one bit less. I could not – would not ever sit idly by and just let you run yourself down without doing something about it.” Hope’s mouth quirked wryly. “And you couldn’t just have given me a stern talking to, like you usually do?” A.J. gave her a look that was pure him, eyebrow up, eyes pinning her. “Like I didn’t? I tried gently correct you and reminding you a thousand times. I’ve been doing it since you hit - 80 BacksideOfLove.com

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adolescence and decided your butt was too big or you were too fat or whatever the complaint du jour was.” She gave him an exasperated sigh. “I do not have a complaint du jour!” “You do about your physical appearance, Ms. Granger. And don’t backtalk me.” For that fleeting second there, he almost sounded like his old self, and it made the tears that had subsided somewhat come right back to the surface and overfill her eyes. She was crying again, he noticed, and he hated that. Hope cried so seldom – she’d always been a happy child and kid, at least until she’d hit her teenage years, but she’d come out of that nicely once she’d gotten into college and was generally a very happy adult, quick to laugh and almost somewhat impish in personality. He didn’t know why he’d issued that warning. It wasn’t as if he could back it up with anything – he was too weak to do anything but threaten. It was just second nature, he guessed. He’d always been protective and dominant with her, and it wasn’t a habit he could easily shake, apparently. It felt natural, and as much as he might wish to suppress it in the frame of mind he was in, it simply could not be denied. When Hope was finished actually exercising him, she began a massage that left him limp as a noodle, in every place but one. He didn’t know how she could possibly not have noticed the flagrant evidenced of his desire for her, but if she did she didn’t mention anything about it. A.J. wished he wasn’t letting his hopes – and other things – get up in regards to her. She would probably do the right thing and stay until he was recovered – and hopefully back in the saddle – and then she’d leave again. - 81 BacksideOfLove.com

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Part of him wanted to remain staunch and distant from her, recognizing the fact that he was probably going to be alone again in several months. But that part was slowly being overpowered just by the sight of her, having her close enough to touch – although he hadn’t – and having her touch him. She didn’t seem to be turned off by how debilitated he was, although he was certainly humiliated enough by it. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d let himself get like this, but the fact that she’d run away from him – left him – not once but twice, had a lot to do with it, he supposed. No one talked to him about the fact that she had been there – that she had cared enough at least to come down – when the accident had happened. He knew he’d been unconscious because of the respirator, but he’d known, somehow, in the deepest, darkest part of him that wasn’t a part of his consciousness, the moment she’d touched him for the first time. He couldn’t remember the sound, but rather the feeling in his body of the soft, melodic rise and fall of her voice as she spoke to him. It seemed when she was touching him she was also always speaking to him. He didn’t understand the words, but that wasn’t necessary. They were full of love, and that was what he recognized. The obvious love she projected to him settled around his heart like a warm winter scarf, and as he healed, even through the haze of medication, he started to expect to hear her soft voice, and latched onto it as a method and a reason to recover as fast as possible. But once he was well enough to have the respirator removed, she was the first person he looked for. When everyone trooped into his room after the doctor gave the ok from the extubation, though, she wasn’t there. He kept looking around for her, and even asked his brothers, who were absolutely no help in understanding why she’d decided she had to go. He was still a bit woozy from the drugs that were still in his system, and had to keep asking where she’d gone.

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Eventually, when he was feeling a bit better, Beau seemed to have drawn the short straw and he sat down and told him that, yes, Hope had been there, but that she’d decided to go home once she knew that he was going to be getting better. A.J. hadn’t had much to say to that. What could he say? Apparently the idea of being with him when he was awake and able to respond to her was just too traumatic, some how. That was the first, and hardest blow, to his recovery. At first, he kept reaching for the phone, picking it up, and nearly dialing her number, which he’d always had tucked away in his wallet on a small piece of paper. But he’d never come so close to calling her. If she didn’t want to be with him, if she couldn’t accept that he would feel it necessary to correct her, especially when she was doing something that was as detrimental to her mental health as constantly berating her physical appearance, then he didn’t want to be with her, either. But, of course, he did. But he’d managed to hold on so far – never even getting to the point of actually picking up the phone, until he was in the hospital. He thought it was a good sign that she’d come down at all, but the kick in the gut was that she’d left probably before she figured he’d even know that she was there. She didn’t really want to be with him. She’d just pitied him, and had left at the first opportunity. She was never going to understand the idea that he loved her enough to discipline her when he felt she needed it. He’d hung his dreams on what seemed to be an impossibility – that she’d be woman enough to understand just how much love that required from a man. Yet, here she was again. Of course, he’d let himself slide to the point where he didn’t want her to be here – didn’t want her to see him in this condition – but it didn’t seem to faze her, and, of course, the stubborn chit wasn’t in the least concerned about his objections. - 83 BacksideOfLove.com

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In a lot of ways, she already was a Thornton. It was pretty much a done deal except for the paperwork. But right now, she was pooh-poohing his attempt to curb the tone she used with him, giving him a loud raspberry as she leaned over him and massaged his legs. He still had some strength left in his arms, and used it to pull her down next to him on the bed. Mindful of the wide open door she’d taken to requiring, he rolled himself towards her slowly. It wasn’t pretty, but he did it, holding her lightly but tightly enough that she couldn’t have gotten away without a struggle, which she probably knew would hurt him. He figured that that was the biggest reason she was still there, not his non existent hold on her. “So you’re here now. And I want you to stay. I want you to put your rings back on and help me recover as much as I can. I know it’s what you want to do. I don’t want you to perseverate about the spanking. It’s not like I’m going to spank you every five seconds, and right now it’s not like I’m going to spank you at all. I love you enough to do what needs to be done for you. I know it’s an old, clichéd phrase, but it’s for your own good – the same reason why you’re making me exercise my legs.” Hope was caught. She was afraid that if she said no, as she knew she should, that he would simply withdraw again and begin that inevitable downward spiral towards becoming a permanent invalid. Everything in her was pushing for her to say yes – she didn’t know where or how she had resolved or come to grips with the idea that he was going go spank her when he wanted to. A huge part of it was probably her errant libido. But whatever it was, the word “yes” was on the very tip of her tongue.

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But she couldn’t quite say it and really mean it. Not yet. But soon. Very soon, if the area between her legs had anything to say about it. He didn’t feel or smell quite the same – he usually smelled of the outdoors, cow, and man, not necessarily in that order – and he was much thinner than he should have been. Usually, hugging him was like hugging boulder; he was so solid and strong and unyielding. But that didn’t make one bit of difference to Hope. He was A.J., and he’d always be the man she loved. He reached out and pulled her to him, tucking her head beneath his chin and she settled there as if she’d never left his side. Something deep inside him softened, then. Except for his physical condition, which he was quite certain he could change rather rapidly if he set his mind to, everything was right with the world. Beau appeared at the door then, popping in and executing a militaristic about face as soon as he’d seen them stretched out together on the bed. Without having to be told, he pulled the door shut, but ruined his mime act when, not three steps down the hall, he shouted loudly, and A.J. knew that the news would be all around the town within a matter of seconds. Beau’s shout startled Hope, who hadn’t seen him in with her back to the door as it was. “What was that?” “Nothing important,” he answered firmly, tilting her head up so that she couldn’t avoid him any longer. “So? What’s your answer? Are you going to up and leave me as soon as I get well? Are you going to put your rings back on your fingers, where they should be?” When she tried to look down, he knew what her answer was going to be. “Well, I don’t feel like I can say yes quite yet. But I’ll give you an emphatic maybe?” she answered hopefully. - 85 BacksideOfLove.com

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A.J. sighed. That wasn’t what he wanted. Not by a long shot. He didn’t know if he could hang his hat on that, if he could do what needed to be done, endure all of the pain and sweat he knew was in his immediate future if he was to fight his way back as far as he could physically, without knowing that she would definitely be there for him at the end of it. That she would commit to him, to marrying him, to loving him, to letting him love her in every way he needed to. Even if it included spanking her on occasion, which it most definitely would. A thought struck him then; one that he hadn’t really considered since that fateful night when she’d pressed those rings into his hand: what if she’d liked being spanked? A.J. couldn’t believe that very many women ever really liked a punishment spanking – not if it was done in the spirit that it should have been. She probably hadn’t liked it any more than he’d liked various and sundry people adjusting and twisting and bending his body parts, that were in pain before they’d ever touched them and were left in agony in their tender wake. And he didn’t like it either, really. Like Hope, he didn’t want to hurt her, under any circumstances. But he had to. He loved her enough to, just as she loved him enough to, when it was the right thing to do. The liking – the desire - came in the memory of it, in the replaying of it just before bed, or at that inopportune moment when you least expected it. Pictures of her writing body, of that roasted red rump played through his mind every evening before he fell sleep. He’d lived in a haze of sexual tension, waiting for her and wanting her endlessly, since she’d left.

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And he had to think that the reason she’d stayed away so long was that she was confused and maybe even angry at the fact that her body had liked a lot of aspects of what he’d done to her. So he decided to ask her, point blank. “Did the spanking turn you on?”

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Chapter VI

A

.J. got his answer when she hopped up immediately and began to bustle around the room. Whenever she was anxious or didn’t want to talk about something, she had a tendency to get up and clean. But her words belied her actions. “It most certainly did not turn me on. It hurt like hell! And it was completely humiliating to be put over your lap like a five year old! How could you possibly thing that that kind of thing would appeal to me?” His murmur from the best was softer and gentler than she’d ever heard it before. And it was, depressingly, disgustingly dead on, too. Just exactly what she didn’t want to hear. “I think you’re protesting a bit too much, don’t you?” Hope refused to dignify that query with an answer. Instead, she continued to straighten that which didn’t need straightening. He’d been confined to bed – how dirty could his room be? Anxious to get away from him and the feelings he was deliberately conjuring, she made up a reason to leave. “I’ve gotta go get ready for bed.” “Once you’ve done that, I want you to come back down here.” He almost sounded like his usual authoritative self. Almost, but not quite.

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She stiffened – her automatic response to being told what to do, but then decided to follow the letter of his law. “Okay,” she replied blithely, scooting out of the room quickly, lest his suspicions be aroused by her quick acquiescence. But they already had been, and with good reason. When she returned, it was with everyone who was available in the house at the time, and tubs of buttered popcorn. They all piled onto the bed, or on the floor, or into whatever available chairs they could scarf from the rest of the house, and had an impromptu “Godfather” marathon – although they only watched the first two hours of the first film before A.J. fell asleep from all of the day’s exertion, combined with the high powered pain medications he was still on, the cumulative effects of which made him predisposed to being sleepy in the evenings. Everyone crept out, whispering not so quietly to each other to be quiet the whole time, and, of course, managing to wake him up. Hope was the last person out, watching him struggling to turn over, and having a terrible time not running to him and helping him do it. But she knew that the only way he could get better would be if he did things himself, using those long unused muscles. But it was horribly hard – one of the hardest things she’d ever done in her lifetime - to watch the man she loved trying to do something physically that months ago wouldn’t have taken any thought or effort what so ever. Once he got onto his side, facing her and the door, he said very quietly, “I know what you did. You can’t avoid me forever.” “Ohhhhhhh, yes I can!” she smirked back at him. “Besides, you’re supposed to be asleep!” “I’m just lying here, practicing to be an invalid.”

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She gave him a glare fit to singe his eyeballs. “That’s why I’m here – I don’t want you to be an invalid, and, if you think about it, neither do you.” “Well, now I have incentive not to be. I intend to keep you here with me. I’m not going to let you run off again. And if you do, I’ll hunt you down, find you, and bring you back.” Her eyes widened. “On second thought . . .” “Oh no. No second thought. You came back here to bring me to life, and you have. And I’m going to make sure that you reap all of the benefits.” His smile was sleepy, but not less purely evil. It made Hope feel as if he was, even from that distance, cupping that area of her body that was most his, and most sensitive to him, as he used to like to do to her, even in the most casual of moments. She left him then, but almost felt as if that part of her had remained behind with him, staying soft and swollen and moist all night, making her toss and turn and get almost no sleep.

~~~ A.J. progressed very slowly forward, despite Hope’s efforts. She kept in close communication with Heather about how he was doing, and whether her second session of exercises might be backfiring on him, but they both agreed that as long as she was really just stretching the muscles and, since they were I his bedroom and not using any true exercise equipment, that she wasn’t really giving him a work out per se, that he should be fine. He seemed to recover mentally much more quickly, though, and, as the brothers began to take Hope’s lead and treat him less as - 90 BacksideOfLove.com

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a patient and more like their older brother. Beau began to pop in and out of A.J.’s bedroom almost as often as Hope did, and Hope spent all day every day with him, and, over his vociferous objections, she even put in a baby monitor, just in case he needed help in the middle of the night. In fact, she took the brothers collectively to task for not having thought of something like that themselves. If he got sick in the night, or fell out of bed, or whatever, the house was so big they probably would never have hear him screaming for them. A.J., of course, predictably, had a fit at the idea, but she got around him easily by plugging it in behind a dresser that he couldn’t get to very easily, even if he did bother to get into his wheelchair, which he still remained reluctant to use. She knew he wasn’t happy about it – he certainly reminded her enough about it – but it was a good idea and it turned out to be an excellent investment, especially once they began to work him out harder, and his muscles began to rebel in the evening. They were lying together on his bed, watching C.S.I., when he was besieged by cramping in both legs at the same time, starting with his left side, which was the worst damaged, and then graduating all the down both legs. Hope sprang into action. Heather had told her that this might happen, so she had already gotten the things she needed to help him – she hoped. Seeing him in pain like this was going to kill her, especially if she was helpless against it. The first thing she did was give him a muscle relaxant, which he was reluctant to take, of course, because it made him sleep. She gave him a look and told him that if he didn’t take it voluntarily that he wouldn’t like where it ended up in his person. Scowling heavily the whole time, he condescended to take the meds. Once he had – and had opened his mouth to show her that he actually had swallowed the pill – Hope ran out of the room - 91 BacksideOfLove.com

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and grabbed what she needed: several big heating pads and warmed, warming lotion. When she came back, she tugged back the sheet and blanket and reached for his pants when he stopped her, gritting his teeth through the pain. “Hey! The least you could do is buy me dinner!” She wanted to laugh and her heart was filled with warmth that he was getting some of his dry sense of humor back, but she was too involved in trying to alleviate his pain. The idea of him hurting like this was just about to kill her. Hope wrapped his left leg in the heating pads, setting them on medium. The combination of the heat and the drugs would go to work on convincing those muscles to calm down. She didn’t want to massage the leg that was hurting the worst until it had had a chance to settle some, so she went to work – very, very gently on his right leg, using the warmed lotion and making long, slow sweeping motions just on the top of his skin, not digging in at all, just accustoming him to her touch and very slowly working her way up to a heavier touch that carefully convinced those poor overworked muscles to cooperate and relax. The fingers of her hands were spread as wide as they could be so the area of whatever pressure she used was well disbursed and not concentrated at any particular point. At first, his leg jerked and almost flopped against her hands in totally involuntarily movements that became more voluntary as she worked. Heather had told her that touching him like this would hurt him at first, until his muscles began to respond to the massage. She told Hope that she just had to work through that part of it, hurting him to help him, and then she would literally see and feel him improve. The constant, painful flexing would stop, and his whole body would relax.

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And it happened exactly as Heather had said it would, except that his left leg still jerked and twitched some. Once she’d gotten his right side calmed down, though, she moved over to the other side of the bed and bent down to put her hands on his left leg, trying desperately to remember that she needed to go back to massaging much more gently than she had ended up doing on the other side. It took her about an hour of completely involved massage to get him to the point where his legs weren’t moving around like they had minds of their own, and he wasn’t groaning in pain. In fact, he was almost snoring, which made her smile. Hope pulled the sheet and blanket over him, not worrying about the pajama bottoms right now in favor of letting him sleep, then crept up to her bedroom. Just as she was getting into bed, she heard him say softly but loudly enough for the monitor to pick up, “Thank you, darlin’. You helped a lot.” Hope said, “You’re welcome,” even though she knew that he couldn’t hear it.

~~~ A month or so later, she and Heather sat down to have a cup of coffee after she’d put A.J. through his paces. He was in the pool now, doing laps back and forth, using his legs as much as he could. Saying that he was doing laps, however, was being very generous, since he could still barely move his legs, and really wasn’t walking yet, which was making Heather a little worried, apparently, and that worry was rapidly translating to Hope.

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“I was really hoping that he would be further along by now,” she confided to Hope. “Granted, his muscles had atrophied to some extent while he languished away, pining for you . . .” Hope snorted. “He was not pining for me,” she mimicked back, looking embarrassed at the thought. “Puh-leeze!” Heather rolled her eyes at her new friend and took a sip of her coffee. “He’s been wasting away for you since the day you dumped him after you got engaged.” “I did not dump him.” But, when she thought about it, she had to realize that she had done exactly that. “Well, I can tell you that there’s been a lot of speculation as to exactly what happened between you two. He’s never said a word about it – for or against you. I don’t think he’s said anything to anyone about you since you left. I couldn’t pry anything about it out of any of his brothers, either.” Hope drank in every word Heather said, but commented, “And I’m sure that there was one particular brother you worked on . . .” That conversational gambit contained a two pronged attack: it would serve to divert her attention away from what had happened between herself and A.J., and perhaps Heather would let something slip about what was going on between herself and Beau . . . or perhaps what wasn’t going on and should have been. Heather’s head lolled back, growling loudly. “You don’t want to go there, believe me. I’ve done everything but dance naked in front of him and he never notices me.” “Oh, he notices all right.” The hopeful look on Heather’s face was telling. “He does?” - 94 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Yes, and you should seize the day! You should ask him out. I mean, haven’t you noticed how he hangs around the house while you’re here, pretending to be interested in what you’re doing with A.J., even for the four hundredth time? Of course, he cares about his brother, but come on!” The normally brash, confident young woman bit her lip hesitantly. She was fine when presented with a patient. No one could match her abilities in physical therapy. But she’d always had almost a block about men, somehow. She’d get a crush or an interest in a particular man, and then do nothing about it. Hence she was single at thirty two and her mother was about to give up on the idea of grandchildren. Hope just hated to see two people who were so obviously attracted to each other just standing around with their hands in their pockets, so she vowed to herself to do something about it.

~~~ A.J., in the mean time, was soaking up all the attention he was getting from the woman he loved like a Sahara dried sponge. Although he crawled into bed each night absolutely exhausted, he found he still had a hard time getting to sleep for thoughts of her. A.J. didn’t consider himself a patient man – and neither did anyone else who knew him – even at the best of times. But there were times that he exhibited an extraordinary ability to wait for those things he considered to be worthy of the considerable effort. He had waited a very long time to let her see him – really see him. Once she’d finished college, and he’d seen her for the first time in a while, he knew that the time was ripe. He’d caught up with her after giving her that initial hug at the family barbeque, and asked her for her phone number – even though he could very easily have - 95 BacksideOfLove.com

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gotten it from Beau. He’d wanted her to know that he was interested in her, and she seemed amenable, if somewhat surprised. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of the surprise, except that it confirmed that he’d done a very good job covering his feelings. On their first date, he flew the both of them to San Antonio and they walked through the River Centre Mall and took the boat ride down the canal. A.J. thought she was enjoying herself, but it wasn’t that easy to tell. She’d seemed nervous, somehow, even though they’d known each other forever. He had told himself that now that he was dating her, he was going to go slowly, but his libido had other ideas. He was a little worried that every time they found themselves alone, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off her – not that he heard her objecting. They were worse than teenagers – they had better cars to make out in, apartments to go back to in her case, and a house full of nosy-Nelly brothers in his case. She was just so responsive to him that he could barely contain himself. He’d wanted her for so long, lusted after her even when it wasn’t quite appropriate, and when they finally decided it was time to come together in the biblical sense, he had been extremely worried that he wouldn’t perform up to his own high standards, because just the idea of holding her naked body against his was sure to unman him in rapid order. Despite the fact that it was damned hard to evict his brothers on any night – he was beginning to think that he was giving them much too cushy a life, since damned few of them showed any interest in leaving despite his occasional – although good natured – prodding – he was able to shoo them out on one particular Friday night. He had planned things beautifully, and after a wonderful meal of steak, salad, and baked potatoes that he’d cooked himself – one of the few things he could actually manage to make palatable, they had retired to his study with the dessert – fudge pie – that she had so kindly provided, feeding each other - 96 BacksideOfLove.com

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spoonfuls of the rich, chocolately dessert, decorated as it was with scoops of vanilla ice cream, and chocolate and caramel drizzles. He had taken her into his arms while she’d been licking the spoon at one point, fervently wishing that it was himself beneath that small tongue rather than a spoon that didn’t deserve such enticing treatment. His tongue gently claimed her chocolate and vanilla flavored mouth, bending her back over his arm, not allowing her to deny him in any way, yet not being harsh or cruel about it, merely allowing more of his desire to fill his body than he ever had before. He’d been living with it so long, held it at bay so tightly, that it threatened to overcome him. She was warm and alive in his arms. He pulled back a little and considered his love. Hope’s hair was her crowning glory, although she seemed not to realize it. He had requested that she leave it long, and she had. A.J. couldn’t restrain himself from reaching out to wrap it around his fingers. With her, he felt as the most callow of youths and at the same time the most wizened and experienced of lovers. She had confided in him, hesitantly, that she was a virgin, and he felt that burden more heavily than he could admit. He had needed to assure both of them that he could make it good for her – very good, good enough that she would throw caution to the wind and marry him, even though he was too rough and gruff for the likes of her. In a sudden spurt of channeling Rhett Butler, he reached over and gathered her into his arms, carrying her upstairs to his big bedroom. She’d been in this room before, when it was his parents’ room and she had stayed overnight as his mother was wont to have her do, lacking a partner in estrogen in a house bursting with testosterone. He had had it redone to his own tastes, mostly because he couldn’t seem to get comfortable with his parents’ memories so pervasive in the room. He’d kept everything of theirs, of course – - 97 BacksideOfLove.com

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it was all housed above the stable now and had been picked over as his brothers had begun to move out. A.J. set her down several steps from the door, leaning back to close it behind them, even though there wasn’t going to be anyone in the house this evening but themselves. He knew she would be uncomfortable with it open, and he couldn’t abide the thought of being tense in the least. He wanted her to trust him with the gift of herself – her mind, her body, and her soul – and he would have nothing interrupt that. She stood next to him like a statue, and he was struck by what he thought was fear in her eyes and hugged him to her tightly, rubbing her back gently, whispering, “Sweetheart, I know this is new to you, but it’s only me, and I’m going to make sure that you enjoy it, I promise.” Hope had nearly giggled at that. Only him, indeed. Only the man who had been the center of her universe, constantly in her thoughts and heart since she could remember. She drew back a ways, cupping his cheek with her hand. “How could I help but enjoy it. I’m with you.” She looked at him now with every faith that he could and would make it wondrous, and he wasn’t sure which way was worse. A.J. began to undress her with excruciating care and gentleness, not brooking any sort of protest from her, even when she was standing there in her bra and panties, and her hands had automatically come up to cover herself. He tsked gently. “I remember a certain person’s bathing suit revealed a lot more than your underwear,” he chided, dropping a kiss onto her bare shoulder. - 98 BacksideOfLove.com

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What he didn’t say was that he had made her change once he’d seen that particular bathing suit, and was quite outraged that she’d donned it in the first place. “And I remember a certain man forcing me to get into something a lot more grannyish - ” He smiled as he drifted behind her, one hand never leaving her skin, as if he was steadying a particularly nervous mare he was grooming. He dropped a kiss on the bare, vulnerable back of her neck, making her shiver as he dragged his tongue up the slim column of her neck, pushing aside the soft baby hair he found there in favor of more tender flesh, his hands coming around her waist to widen there, each finger spread as far apart as it could go, claiming as much of her as he could at one time. At times, he realized, looking back on that first time with her, he did let himself get out of hand, tugging her back against him and cupping those lace covered breasts and feeling them rise against his hold, seeking the confinement of his palms, two staunch nipples bravely trying to poke against his palms through the fabric, seeking his warmth and touch, which he gave her seconds later, removing the bra with a fluid motion and recapturing those swelling mounds as he’d slipped in front of her. A.J. looked into her eyes at that moment, and was gratified to see them practically roll back into her head at his touch, her head lolling back as he took one dark pink tip between his pursed lips and suckled. Her groan of pleasure filled him nearly to bursting, and he had to take himself mentally in hand in order not to lose completely control of himself. As it was, he quickly divested her of her panties – not giving her a chance to protest or defend her innocence - then lifted her again, depositing her gently, diagonally, on the huge expanse of his broad bed, loving how innately feminine she looked against the - 99 BacksideOfLove.com

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masculine shades of brown bedspread, like some sort of virginal sacrifice, willing and ready for the taking. Keeping himself completely in check by some sheer force of will, he loved her everywhere with his hands and lips, touching her in ways and places he had denied himself all those long years, making her whimper and groan and moan and cry, and in the end beg him for the release only he could give her.

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Chapter VII

T

he first time he loved her – and nearly every single time after that – he took his time with her. He moved slowly, at first, because he knew this was her first time, and he didn’t want to frighten her. She wasn’t too horribly sheltered – she certainly knew the mechanics of what was going to happen, but he knew that that was extremely different from it actually happening to her. All of the book knowledge – even with some of the books that existed nowadays – couldn’t compete with the reality of his hands on her. A.J. made damned sure that she enjoyed every single second of their first intimate encounter, confidently planning that there would be decades more to come. He listened and watched carefully for every small sign of what he did that she liked. And that seemed to be damned near everything. Her breasts were wonderfully sensitive, and he adored suckling them just hard enough to make her squeal as his fingers plucked gently at that other lonely nipple. He drank deeply of her kisses, then trailed his lips and tongue all the way down her body, not missing one interesting nook or cranny, tickling here, tugging there, while his hands were busying themselves everywhere that his mouth wasn’t. - 101 BacksideOfLove.com

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A callused hand found its way between her legs, trailing up the sensitive insides until it could advance no further. “Open your legs for me, darlin’,” he whispered huskily against her breast, licking and flicking his tongue against it as he waited for her to comply with his order. Her legs moved restlessly, but not quite apart. “Sweetheart,” he said in a warning tone. “If you don’t do as you’re told, I’m going to spank you.” She frowned momentarily, but did as he asked, letting him into that warm grotto he sought so desperately. He was gratified to find, as soon as a big middle finger breached those two warm, swollen lips, that she was soaking wet, and he’d barely touched her. Well, barely touched here there, anyway. He found what he ultimately sought and gently pressed inside her with that adventurous finger, trying to discern just how well guarded she was – and, luckily, she wasn’t. He’d had nightmares about how much pain she might encounter while they made love, and dreaded the idea that he might actually truly hurt her a lot somehow, if she was truly completely untried. But it seemed that was not the case, and he heaved a sign of relieve about that and moved on to even more interesting territory, dragging his finger up through that engorged thicket to find her swollen, rigid bump and slide over it once, as if test driving it, avidly attuned to her ever response – and respond she did. He’d never had a woman in his bed be quite so abandoned in his arms. It was another way he knew that she was his. But when the pad of that finger connected with that turgid peak, he wasn’t prepared for her response. It was as if she was trying to escape him yet beg him for more at the same time. If he hadn’t been pretty sure of his abilities, he might have thought he’d hurt - 102 BacksideOfLove.com

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her. But then she’d grabbed for his wrist and held him there, and he knew. He peeled her fingers off him – he would control what happened to her while they made love, especially this time. “Keep your hands to yourself, darlin’,” he whispered huskily. “Or I’ll stop doing this,” he cautioned, halting the movement of his finger at its oh so sensitive spot. “No – no – no – you can’t stop!” she fairly begged, her heavy breath accentuating those beautiful breasts. A.J. stretched out at Hope’s side, keeping his finger exactly where it was as his head recaptured a nipple and began to tug, hard, while his hand worked slowly and deliberately between her legs. “A.J. – please – I – please!” she cried, close to tears from the tremendous ache he was creating. “Yes, sweetie, yes. You can come, but slowly. With a good long buildup.” Her eyes widened anxiously. “It’s already been a good long buildup! It’s been years!” His eyebrow rose at that comment, and he filed it away for further discussion at a more opportune time. “Yes, but you’ll come when I say, and not before.” The look in her eyes at his words was priceless. She hadn’t expected that, and he liked being able to surprise her. He proceeded to bring her to an excruciating peak, and only after holding her there for an eternity at least, did he go that extra few strokes that it took to hurl her over the edge. “You can come now, if you want,” he commented with calculated casualness that he absolutely did not feel. He felt as if he held a live electrical wire in his hand, and he wanted some of it. - 103 BacksideOfLove.com

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As she began to convulse in absolute pleasure – a pleasure that he had brought to her of his own accord – A.J. positioned himself between her legs, knowing that she had already produced more than enough fluid to welcome him easily into her body. He was no lightweight in any way, most especially in regards to his endowment. He was more than well equipped, and that had been another area of concern for him in regards to her virginity. But he had to be inside her. There was just nothing else for it. This was the culmination of years of coveting her, lusting after her, wanting and loving and desiring her to the very core of his being. And when he sank into her that first time, forcing her body to accept his invasion as it clung to him, opening for the first time to a man – to him, only, ever. Ever. She was incredible. He was almost humiliated by how quickly he came to his own end, but when he did, it was probably because she continued to contract around him, whimpering slightly, burying her face against his chest as best she could, not that its hard planes offered much in the way of comfort. A.J. lay atop her, not ever wanting to disconnect himself from her. He was too much a part of her, and she was too much a part of him. When he did finally roll to one side, it was only because he thought he could hear her breathing becoming labored because of his weight on her. But even then, even when he caught her up in his arms and rolled them both to his left, he still remained inside her as much as he could, as if every part of him was fighting to remain with her – within her. As he recalled their first lovemaking now, lying alone in his bed, A.J. was just about ready to explode all over the sheets. It had been a long while since he’d been quite so frustrated. At least - 104 BacksideOfLove.com

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when he was lusting after her from afar, it was . . . well . . . from afar. She wasn’t hovering over him every day, touching him all the time, massaging him and exercising him, and smelling wonderful even after she’d put in a full day running hither and yon for him. It was more than he could stand. Every time he closed his eyes, she was there, leaning over him now, in an innocent, Florence Nightingale manner or one of the many time she’d offered her breasts to him, enticing him, luring him, smothering him with them ... A.J. sat bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring from him, his entire body completely rigid from his tormenting thoughts, knowing that sleep was a completely lost cause. As he’d gotten better and better, he’d required fewer and fewer pain medications, so he wasn’t constantly sleepy all of the time. Sometimes he wasn’t sleepy at all, like now, and he’d had to find other things to occupy his body and keep his mind off the woman who was sleeping – in the wrong room, he understood – upstairs. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His wheelchair was tucked into its usual corner, but he didn’t reach for it. Instead, he leaned down beneath the bed and hooked his pinky on one of a pair of crutches, then fished around for the other and tucked them confidently beneath his arms, starting out slowly, but able to work up a reasonable amount of speed, using them more as a pair of training wheels than actual crutches. He didn’t really need them any more, but he took them just in case. The house was quiet – it was nearly three in the morning, and he’d always been able do this – getting into his wheelchair originally – making his way out to the poolside exercise area where he would work his muscles till they fairly screamed. He’d come a long way. A longer way than he was letting either the industrious, competent Heather or worried, concerned, loving and lovely Hope know. But she was the one he didn’t want - 105 BacksideOfLove.com

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to know. Heather was kind of an innocent bystander in his deception, a casualty of it – although a well paid one. But Hope – if Hope found out that he could walk – not quite perfectly yet, but almost – she might well leave him. And if he needed to drag out his recovery for a while longer – until he was at little more himself and a little less of a ninety-eight pound disabled weakling, then he had absolutely no scruples about doing a bit of acting that he considering medically necessary. Or maybe that was mentally necessary. Either way, he was going to do whatever he needed to do to keep her there beside him, where she belonged. He spent an hour or so, working his legs hard, sweating and hurting and loving every minute of it, because he could see the results of his efforts. He knew he could recover to probably ninety eight or ninety nine percent of where he had been before, not that he would settle there, but that would be close enough for government work, as far as he was concerned. Close enough so that she wouldn’t turn around and leave him. He hobbled a little more as he walked towards the fridge, dying for something to quench his thirst. And as much as he’d hassled her when she’d first started bringing him those damned trays with milk on them to help him recover from the injuries to his bones, that was what he reached for when he opened the door. There was no question. If he’d thought it was going to help him, he would have drunk bleach. It didn’t help that he wasn’t really leaning on his crutches much when she flipped the light on and gasped. When Hope found him, A.J. was standing there – standing – in front of the refrigerator, gulping down a half gallon of milk. His wheelchair was nowhere to be found. Ditto his walker. As he turned towards her, the milk jug still up to his mouth, one of the crutches fell to the floor, and he didn’t miss a beat or even waiver. - 106 BacksideOfLove.com

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To say that Hope was incensed was to completely understate the situation. But at the same time, she was also incredibly elated. He was standing! On his own! She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to go hug him tight or find the nearest two by four with which to hit him upside the head. A.J., in the meantime, was remaining remarkably calm as he finished with the milk and put it back in the fridge. He turned carefully, and bent down to retrieve his crutch, then walked slowly towards her, trying to assume as normal a gait as possible. “I suppose I owe you an explanation,” he growled down at her, not looking as if he was going to relish the telling. Hope had forgotten how tall he was. He wasn’t quite as big as he used to be, but apparently he was well on the way. Besides, it wasn’t just his size that was intimidating about him. It was his aura, and it had been missing for quite some time. But it was back, almost full force. And she liked him this way, God help her. It was almost enough to distract her from how annoyed she was with him. But not quite. But she didn’t like the way he was looking at her. His eyes had narrowed, and his face had taken on a determined look that had her wanting to take a step back that she staunchly refused to take. Seconds later, though, the choice had been removed because he swung her confidently into his arms and marched them both into his temporary bedroom. A.J. had an errant thought that he wished he could carry her up to his room, as he had several times in the past, but he didn’t want to push his newfound strength.

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He figured – and rightly so – that he might as well be hanged for a wolf as a lamb, and he knew that it was going to take all of his stamina to do what he wanted to do – what his body was literally screaming for. But first things first. When he sat down on the bed, he quickly leaned over and yanked the monitor cord out of the wall, then managed to do something else that she wasn’t expecting, flipping her over onto her stomach across his legs. He tugged her almost grannyish nightie up over her back and lowered her panties in one motion, spanking her hard and fast before she even knew what was going on. “What the hell are you doing? If anyone needs a spanking, it’s – ow! Cut it out! Let me up this instant, A.J. Thornton, or you’ll – oooo! Stop! - you’ll regret it, I sssswear!!” she croaked. A.J. almost smiled at her threat. It was just like his Hope to be such a firecracker, even when she was getting her bottom warmed. “I’m spanking you, Hope. Because you need it. And because you left me, not once, but twice. And because I want you to know that I’m never going to let you leave me again, for any reason whatsoever. If you do, like I told you before, I’ll find you, and bring you back, and you’ll get another spanking that’s much worse than this. You’re mine, woman, and I don’t intend to let you out of my sight much in the next eight decades or so.” He spanked viciously as he spoke, decorating his prose with heartfelt swats. “I’m sorry I deceived you and Heather about how quickly I was getting back to myself, but I didn’t want you running off when I wasn’t healthy enough to come after you. I’m almost a hundred percent now, and even if I don’t get to be exactly one hundred percent again, I’m more than capable of handling you the way you need to be handled, any time, anywhere.” - 108 BacksideOfLove.com

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“No! Stop this! I don’t want to be spanked! I left because you spanked me, and I’ll leave you again - ” she wanted to scream, but instead, in favor of not being discovered by his big eared brothers, who would have all to good a time with this, she hiss it at him while she tried – only somewhat successfully – to stifle the moans and groans she wanted to emit. “And I think that my lady protests too much. Come to think of it,” he stopped and smacked her several times, hard, at the base of her bottom where it met her legs, “we never did finish that most interesting discussion, did we?” He finished her off with a flourish of crisp, painful spanks, then turned her onto her back on the bed, and brought them both up to the pillows. He used the hard won strength he’d been building in his legs to separate hers, watching her carefully for signs that she truly didn’t want him. She was sobbing slightly and looking at him accusatorily, but she wasn’t protesting his position over her. Before she started to, A.J. reached down and released himself from his pajamas, entering her even before he was quite fully erect. But he had no trouble doing so, and had his answer about her interest in spanking right there. She was slick and hot and wet, and he found himself sliding into her to the hilt, expanding the entire way to complete fullness, and kissing away her tears and whimpers as he did so. A.J. captured her beloved face between his palms. “I love you, Hope Granger. And I intend to marry you. I know you gave up your job to stay down here with me while I recovered, and I bear a certain amount of guilt about that. But we’re getting married this April. Pick a day, and make the arrangements. I won’t wait any later than that, and you should be damned happy that I’m not just flying us to Vegas right now.” He began to move before she could even answer, remembering and doing all the things he knew would drive her - 109 BacksideOfLove.com

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absolutely crazy in his arms, and they hadn’t changed. She flew apart beneath him and took him with her. When they were both completely exhausted and sated, A.J. rolled over and opened the small drawer in the nightstand on his side of the bed, removing a ring box and slipping first his grandmother’s ring onto her left ring finger, then the new engagement ring he’d bought her onto the ring finger of her left hand. “If you ever take these off – except for some obscure medical reason – I’ll blister your bottom good.” Hope huffed loudly. “You most certainly are not.” He caught her chin and made her look at him. “Yes, I am, honey. I don’t want you to be mistaken about that, or about the fact that you like it.” Mortified, Hope twisted her face out of his grasp, feeling her cheeks pinkening brightly. “I do not!” He was grinning like an idiot at her. “You do; you just can’t admit it, and that’s okay. It’s going to happen anyway.” She was trying to scootch away from him in indignation, but he tugged her back up against him. “And afterwards, I’ll love you like I just did. Until you scream. Repeatedly. Until you can’t take it any more. I promise. I’ll make it a part of my wedding vows, if you like . . .” She punched him, gently, though, still pulling her punches because she had gotten used to thinking of him as somewhat frail, although he no longer was, apparently. And for that – despite his disgustingly good acting job – she would always be grateful.

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Epilogue

T

he wedding came off without a hitch, despite the fact that Hope spent most of the months prior complaining that he hadn’t given her enough time to plan it. A.J. had given her a free reign – he had more than enough money to do any kind of wedding she preferred, but she did just what she wanted, and coincidentally exactly what he would have chosen, too: they had a small private wedding in a beautiful small chapel in a park in town, then came home to an informal barbeque reception that was one of the best attended events in the town’s history. It had helped that they had essentially said that it was an open invitation, and all of the ranch families in the area, who had seen these two grow up attended with their entire broods. There was a small band and a dance floor, and the brides’ favorite variegated pink and red roses, along with white ones for accent, were artfully strewn all around the pool area, as well as at the tables that had been set up in the back yard. Gone was the unsightly exercise equipment that A.J. had had to use through his recovery. They still had it, and one of the spare bedrooms upstairs was now outfitted as a reasonably equipped gym. But nowadays, since he had recovered to about ninety nine point nine percent, he was back in the saddle and riding around the ranch every day that he wasn’t in his office, or at home making - 111 BacksideOfLove.com

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love to his soon to be wife. He had used to be a bit of a workaholic, but not any more. Any reason at all to stay home with her was good enough for him! Hope had easily transitioned her life back to the town she’d grown up in, got a job lickety-split – even though A.J. would have been just as happy to have her at home all the time, where he could pester her into bed at every given opportunity. Overall, they were disgustingly happy – even if he did keep her on a relatively short leash and spank her much more often than she thought he ought to. They had cut the huge, five tiered cake and he had been good and not schmeared it on her, on penalty of death. They were to the point where she was going to throw the bouquet, and there was a gaggle of her friends and various of the brothers’ dates gathered behind her, amongst whom was Heather, who had continued to dance around Beau for the past months, like a butterfly teasing a bear. He’d asked her to the wedding, but she’d insisted on coming solo, which didn’t set well with the second to the eldest of the Thornton clan. Not one bit. Hope put her back to the lot of them and held the smaller throwaway bouquet she’d gotten specifically for this particular nuptial event. She threw the flowers into the air and turned immediately to see who’d gotten it, and it was a stunned Heather who stood there looking innocently perplexed that she’d ended up with the flowers. Everyone in the room then turned to Beau, who was giving Heather a look like she was spending her last few days as an unattached woman. The amounts in the pools and bets about those two rose triple fold after that. A.J., oblivious to everything but his bride, took that moment to tug her out of the house and down towards the impeccably clean stables where he housed his prized Thoroughbreds. It was his intention that the Circle T become known for more than their Angus. He wanted to breed a line of - 112 BacksideOfLove.com

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Thoroughbreds that would beat or exceed any horseflesh coming out of Kentucky. He wanted a Derby winner, at least, or a Triple Crown winner at best – a long line of them, hopefully. So, the bride and groom drifted away from their reception and down to the stables, where he pulled her into the immaculate, environmentally controlled building that housed his brood mares, and brought her to the furthest stall, where his favorite mare had just foaled about a week before, knowing that Hope loved all baby animals. But the stall that this one was in was decorated with roses and red ribbons, and the usual name plate was covered with wrapping paper. “He’s a colt, and I know he’s going to be a winner. Just look at those legs.” Hope looked up at the name, asking with a frown, “Why’s it covered?” A.J. took her hand. “Because he’s yours, but I’ve already named him.” Her eyes were wide. “He’s mine?” she squealed, grabbing the lapels of the tux he filled out nicely. A.J. chuckled at her enthusiasm. “He’s yours.” “What’s his name?” Her husband stepped aside. “Why don’t you do the honors?” Hope moved forward and ripped the paper off the name plaque. - 113 BacksideOfLove.com

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It was Thornton’s Hope. A.J. reached out and pulled his bride to him, burying his face at the side of her neck, whispering into that shell of an ear. “If you hadn’t come back, if you hadn’t agreed to stay with me, I would have died. I had lost all hope. But now I’ve found it, and I’m never going to let you go.” Hope threw herself into his arms, all of her carefully prepared make up drizzling down onto his black clad shoulders as she hugged him until she thought he’d crack her ribs. She was finally where she wanted – where she needed to be – in his arms forever.

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Book two Thornton Brothers Trilogy

Thornton’s Desire By Carolyn Faulkner

©2003 By CFaulkner / BacksideOfLove.com

This work is copyrighted under U.S. law. NO duplication of any kind, including (but not limited to) electronic, digital or manual duplication, is permitted, except for personal use, without expressed, written consent of the author ([email protected])

Violations of this copyright can be traced digitally, and will be pursued vigorously.

PLEASE NOTE: This work of fiction depicts corporal punishment between consenting adults in a romantic, relationship-oriented context. We do not advocate or condone the use of physical force upon anyone whom has not consented to it. If the romance of discipline intrigues you, please visit us at http://BacksideOfLove.com.

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Chapter I

H

eather watched him as he walked towards her, her eyes drifting to half mast all on their own at the mere sight of him. Beau Thornton wasn’t aware of how attractive he was – at least, he certainly never let on. He was more at home on a horse, in worn jeans and a work shirt, than his obviously expensively cut suit, although he wore both so well that only a discerning eye could tell. And hers was most certainly a discerning eye. He was every inch a Thornton. It was in his genes. There wasn’t a wimp amongst them. Every single brother was disgustingly macho and masculine, and what was worse, used to getting his own way, one way or the other, thanks to their benevolent dictator of a father. She’d been watching him covertly from afar for a very long time, and had never once tired of the view. However improbable it seemed, he had always had that dominant air about him, even when he was younger. His older brother A.J. was always out with their father on the range. A.J. was born an adult, but Beau had always been the one all the other kids in school followed. He was a born leader, with a no-nonsense, take no prisoners air about him even at an unusually tender age.

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And then he’d grown up and into the promise of that tall, lithe body, his chest and legs filling out nicely as he joined his brother and father in the family business. Running a ranch – running it well, anyway, and for a Thornton there was truly no other choice – meant getting more than just your hands dirty, and it was the perfect way to grow all the right muscles. At least as far as Heather was concerned. He was one fine looking man, whether he was covered in dust and dirt and cow, or squeaky clean and smelling of some spicy, woodsy cologne that she automatically associated with him. As soon as that familiar scent wafted into her nose she became even more lost in him than she had been before, until that black velvet voice of his rippled over her. “Are you all right?” She looked up into his face and saw his deep frown of concern, bushy dark eyebrows drawn close over obsidian eyes. Beau had the usual Thornton almost overly full head of hair, but his leaned more towards a dark brown than black. More flustered at his presence than she wanted to be, by far, Heather reached for her water glass and promptly knocked over her wine glass. Thankfully, it was empty. She scolded herself inwardly for being such a klutz. No one would have believed at that moment that she was actually quite graceful in general. But not around him, apparently – the person in this world that she most wanted to impress, of course. Although she had spent what seemed to be all of her life idolizing him, Beau had just barely started to take notice of her – most especially at his older brother’s recent wedding to Hope Granger. Heather was beginning to realize that the old adage about being careful of what you wished for was right on the money. He set her on edge – uncomfortably so. She couldn’t relax around him – he was too sexually charged. Every bit of tiny, fine body hair she owned was standing at attention, as if he possessed some sort of - 118 BacksideOfLove.com

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electrical charge she was responding to against her will. Very against her will. He was the only man she’d ever encountered who made her feel much of anything at all. And what he inspired in her was so urgent and hot and prickly that parts of her just wanted to turn tail and run. The majority of her, however – her already dewing body – kept her tight in her chair, despite the fear and uncertainty that had her heart banging so hard within her chest she was sure there was no way he could miss it. Her will to resist him had already been largely subverted – and there was no way he could ever find that out. Beau wasn’t the type of man who needed to know that her heart – along with the almost painfully throbbing rest of her – was already lying at his feet to do with as he pleased. She needed to be on guard around him – more so than she ever had around anyone else before, despite her tender feelings for him. He didn’t have a reputation as a womanizer – in fact, it was just the opposite. But she couldn’t bear to think about what he could do to her heart if he had any inkling how completely she’d fallen for him without his ever having to so much as speak to her. He held her heart – her mind her soul and her body – in that big right hand of his. And he could never know it. Desperate to think of something – anything – else as he was staring down at her with that quizzical, concerned look on his face, Heather’s mouth quirked at the thought of her one brief relationship with Rick Matroni, such as it was. What brought him to mind she didn’t really know, but he certainly did suffer in comparison. It never really got very far. Despite the occasional crush, Heather wasn’t sure that she would ever be able to let any man touch her, even Beau, should that pipe dream ever come true. But she had been on a “confronting her reality” kick, trying to come to terms with the fact that her crush on Beau Thornton was never going to go anywhere even if she stood in front of him stark naked. - 119 BacksideOfLove.com

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He was a scion of an upper crust family in the little town of Haverhill, Texas, and she was the daughter of a woman who was little better than a prostitute, drunk ninety percent of the time and unable or unwilling to care for her children the other ten percent. She didn’t even know who her father was – some fat wallet her mother had roped into paying for the booze that night in exchange for the use of her body. Even though her mother had since straightened out her life, Heather felt that she had no right to imagine herself with Beau, no right to covet him as she did, no rights to anything at all in this world except that which she’d carved out of it herself. Despite her mother’s lack of interest in her sister and herself, Heather, as the oldest daughter, had assumed the maternal role and had gotten them both through school and even though college. She’d always had an interest in helping people and in biology, and those two interests had combined nicely when she’d stumbled on the idea of physical therapy as a career while carting Sarah, her sister, back and forth to the therapist after she’d broken her ankle badly. Years later, she was now a part of a large sports medicine practice along with several other therapists who were interested in building both a solid business and a solid reputation for themselves. As a result of their dedication and successes, they regularly garnered referrals from some of the top doctors in the state. Yet, the mere thought of being in the same room with Beau Thornton could still make her knees shake to the point where she needed to sit down. Luckily, she was already there. He took a seat and leaned towards her, taking her hand – the one that was frozen practically solid from nerves – into both of his, surrounding them with his warmth and strength, rubbing gently. “Are you sick?” One hand reached out to touch her forehead, assessing its temperature as if she was a child. - 120 BacksideOfLove.com

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Although all the attention was flattering, it wasn’t what she wanted. At this point, with him so close and her nerves so frazzled because of it, she really wasn’t sure what she did want from him. But she knew it wasn’t paternal concern. Extracting her hand wasn’t all that easy – he didn’t seem to want to let it go, but she persevered, taking it back and tucking it between her knees, saying breathlessly, “No, I-I’m fine, thanks.” Beau leaned back a little, but not a lot. She looked so pale and fragile – as if she was going to break if he breathed too hard on her. And he knew damned well that that was most definitely not the case. He’d seen Heather Dennison at work. She was no frail, hothouse flower. She had muscles most women didn’t, that came from a lifetime of lifting and toting and manipulating people with the most severe of physical problems. Like his older brother A.J. had had. He’d seen her lift him – when he was thinner than he’d ever been in his adult life but still no featherweight by any means – without so much as breaking a sweat. She was fit – probably fitter than he himself was, although punching cows for a living didn’t lend itself to lounging behind a desk all day. Whereas A.J. oversaw all aspects of the Circle T’s investments – and they had diversified nicely under his watchful eye, Beau had never wanted to be anything more than what he knew he was – what their father had been: a rancher. It was damned hard, year round work that wasn’t for the squeamish. But he couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t felt more comfortable in the saddle than out of it. One of the biggest rows he’d had with his parents – which were few and far between anyway because if there was anything A.J. Sr. demanded of his boys, it was respect – was when he’d turned sixteen and technically didn’t have to attend school any more. His father had set him straight right quick the morning of that eventful birthday, when he’d bounded downstairs to announce - 121 BacksideOfLove.com

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that he was quitting school to work on the ranch full time. The old man had looked shocked at first, then royally annoyed, but he hadn’t batted an eyelash as the rest of the family took their places for breakfast in a stunned silence – including their Mother, who had become teary eyed at his blithe statement. A.J. Sr. had stated that, if that was indeed his decision, that he would be expected to move out by sundown and find himself a place to live, as well as a car with insurance to get to the ranch in, and that he would be starting out at the basic pay for a cowboy – in other words, his last name and the fact that his boss would be his father wasn’t going to get him any favors. Or, the elder gentleman continued, he could straighten up and fly right, finish high school and college, like his brother was, and perhaps he might one day have a hand in the running of the ranch. But not, his father pointed out as he got directly into his second oldest son’s face, if he made stupid decisions like dropping out of school. Needless to say, Beau went to school that day, and every day after – including college. And it was a damned good thing. As much as he enjoyed working outdoors, especially on a spread he had a part of, as well as on his own, they had gotten so big that the brothers had had to entrust most of the day to day operations to their respective foremen, spending much more time than either of them liked dealing with the paperwork aspects rather than the hands on. And when A.J. had had his accident, Beau had gotten a taste of what his big brother did every day, and he’d had to admit a grudging respect for someone who could rope a cow in record time yet handle the office staff with just the right touch. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get the hang of it. He preferred the cattle and the men who worked them around him. He guessed he wasn’t as polished as A.J., and he wasn’t at all sure that he wanted to be. It just wasn’t him. - 122 BacksideOfLove.com

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His eyes lit on the woman who’d obviously had to work up a tremendous amount of nerve to ask him out, but frankly she’d done it just before he was about to do the same thing to her. He’d only been dimly aware of Heather in the background of his life. He’d been ahead of her in high school but had seen her at some parties, as well as the Thornton BBQ, which was held after roundup every year, when everyone had more time to spend on frivolities like eating. But he was always too busy, too involved in work to pay much attention to her – heck, to anyone. He was the most monkish of his brothers, not having had very many girlfriends and not wanting that many. The younger brothers were more likely of all of them to play the field – Cade was still pretty reticent to get involved, but Dane and Eric, like all of them because they were all big, strapping good looking men, even in high school, were the closest to party animals of any of them. He’d had one serious relationship in high school, and one in college, and since then he’d had several dates, but none of them had developed into anything. If he was going to have been interested in anyone, it might have been Hope, but there was no one in that woman’s eyes but A.J. She was the type of woman he was drawn to, though. Strong, competent, smart, but there was no doubt that she was a female, either. It was partly because of Hope’s impetus that he was even here in the first place, beyond the fact that her hand prints were all over Heather’s back about asking him out. It was an interesting experience – he’d never had a woman ask him out before, and it was certainly from left field, considering what had gone on between them when she’d left as A.J.’s therapist. It was only since then that he’d begun to notice her, most definitely at his older brother’s wedding, especially since she’d caught the bouquet. The pale pink off the shoulder dress she’d been wearing had shown off her tight body to its best advantage, and he found his gazed drifting to her over and over all day. It wasn’t one of those awful poofy, - 123 BacksideOfLove.com

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garish dresses most maids of honor or bridesmaids found themselves in. Instead, it clung lovingly to her rounded figure at breast and bottom. As he’d looked around the back yard, where the reception was being held, he could see that he wasn’t the only one doing the noticing. The two youngest of his brothers were giving her the eye, but he squelched that in the bud with two well aimed looks that threatened to knock them on their butts if they didn’t stop ogling Heather. If that wasn’t enough, he’d appropriated her for the first dance after the newlywed’s first dance, tugging her into his arms and holding her there, not asking, just reaching out for her hand and guiding her firmly out into the floor, not taking no for an answer – just as he hadn’t when he’d spanked her all those months ago. He’d found her completely flustered reaction endearing, and the way her eyes skittered to his then quickly away several times endearing. She was obviously nervous around him – with good reason – and he hoped he could settle her nerves before his body made him succumb to the urges he’d been trying to dampen – without much success since that fateful night. While she’d been here helping A.J. on his road to recovery – both times – he’d noticed her more and more, but had been so swamped with work, his and A.J.’s, that there was nothing he could do about his growing attraction besides ache whenever he saw her, and whenever a vision of her popped into his head. She wasn’t a frou frou woman. She wasn’t the type who couldn’t leave the house without the right bag to match the shoes she was wearing. She worked in comfortable sweats or shorts, and as far as he could tell, beyond this evening and the wedding, she never wore makeup.

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But then, she didn’t need it, either. Heather’s skin was clear and creamy, which only served to accent the varied shades in her russet and honey colored hair. Her eyes were a changeable hazel – sometimes a deep, moss green and sometimes a dark startling blue, but always captivating. She was calm, confident and capable around the house, even when A.J. had thrown that lamp at her. It had hit the wall next to the door jamb, which was a testament to the fact that A.J. hadn’t been trying too hard, since he had been an all star pitcher in high school and never missed what he threw at. It had been an expression of frustration in general, but not specifically aimed at Heather. It hadn’t mattered. All the brothers had come running at the sound of the heavy pottery hitting the wall, worried that they’d be finding pieces parts of the therapist strewn into the hall. Instead, although there were shards of lamp on the carpeting there, Heather was just pivoting on one foot to return to the lion’s den, regardless of the fact that he had just made a failed attempt on her life, her face a mask of stubbornness and determination. Luckily, Beau’d gotten there before she’d had a chance to get more than one step, grabbing her arm and dragging her back against him. His body had gone instantly, achingly hard. He could smell the sweet perfume in her gorgeous length of hair, which she kept in a ponytail that made her look like she was barely legal. He couldn’t count the times when he’d wanted to reach out and relieve her of that scrunchy, so he could see it down and free flowing, and imagine it cascading over his pillow. The thought had shocked him. He was a man, and he noticed pretty much all women. But he’d never taken any particularly close notice of her – no interested notice – in Heather. But now that he essentially had her in his arms, he didn’t want to let her go. To say nothing of the fact that she was unusually strong for a woman who barely made it to his mid chest. She was struggling - 125 BacksideOfLove.com

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against him so hard that she was both exacerbating his arousal quite considerably and annoying the piss out of him. Beau had to using more of his strength to keep her from running back into that room than he ever usually did with a woman. One thing their father had drilled into his strong, strapping sons was that their strength was never, ever to be used against a female in any way. Rather, it was to be used only to protect. Well, he’d grimaced to himself, sometimes it needed to be used to subdue, too. She was like a bull that’d seen red. In his weakened condition, Beau was more concerned for A.J.’s health than Heathers, at this point, but in either case, he didn’t want them to collide any further, judging that it wouldn’t be good for either of them. “Heather, calm down.” He let a little warning slip into his deep, soft tone, but she didn’t act as if she’d even heard him, struggling just as energetically to get away from him and back to his brother. “Let me go! I have to get back to him and let him know that trying to kill your therapist is not acceptable behavior.” Beau snorted. “Believe me, he knows that.” He’d had to grab her other arm, and was now barely able to hold her back. He didn’t want to hurt her, nor did he want her to get away – the line was hard to maintain, so he just did what he thought was best and picked her up, carrying her back into the kitchen and simply removing her from the field of battle. Heather had been incensed. She’d known since she’d decided to become a physical therapist that she was at a disadvantage in the heavily male field, because she didn’t have the upper body strength that men simply had the biological advantage in, plus she wasn’t a very big person anyway. But she’d done her best to build up her own strength, as well as making sure that the practice had whatever mechanical assistants they could afford to help her – if she needed it – with lifting patients. Her full throated scream of “Put me down right now!” must’ve carried to the next ranch. It practically made all the - 126 BacksideOfLove.com

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brothers’ ears pop, it was so loud. The woman had an amazing set of lungs on her! But Beau didn’t tip her feet onto the floor until they were well away from A.J.’s room, in his study. He’d closed the door behind them, shutting out the other brothers, who had followed them like puppies, curious to see how this battle of stubborn wits was going to end. But he’d shut the door right on their eager faces with a smug smile. He wasn’t at all prepared for what she’d done then, straightening up and hauling back and smacking his cheek sharply. The woman packed a wallop! And she was crazy if she thought he’d let her get away with that unscathed. A.J. Senior had drilled into all of his sons that women were to be protected at all costs. But he’d also imparted to them that men were the heads of the household, and that there were some things that they needed to call their women to account for, with loving strictness. The boys had known that their father spanked their mother. Rarely, but occasionally. None of them had ever worried that their mother was abused in any sense of the word, even when they grew older and it became more apparent. If anything, they knew that their father would hang the moon for their mother, and that she thought he made the sun rise and set. The look on their faces when they kissed, the fact that their father never left the house without first kissing his wife goodbye, and the way they so often held hands when they walked together was more than enough evidence for them to see that although A.J. was the undisputed law, neither of them had any problem with that. Nor was Naomi in the least bit submissive. She said exactly what she thought at all times, and although, like Heather she was a petite little thing, she had no problem standing toe to toe with A.J. - 127 BacksideOfLove.com

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Senior, getting in his face if she felt fiercely about something – always respectfully, but not in what anyone would consider a submissive manner. That was the crux of his parents’ marriage – respect, for both positions, man and wife, and between the two individuals. And there was no way that striking anyone across the fact could be considered respectful. Even though he and Heather weren’t really even on the path towards a relationship yet, Beau knew he couldn’t just let that slap go under any circumstances. He just couldn’t. What’s more, he wouldn’t.

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Chapter II

B

ut he’d deal with that shortly. For the moment, he stood and stared down at her, his jaw working furiously at the side of his face, trying to keep his temper in check and resisting the urge to teach her that that was not acceptable behavior by putting his foot up on the couch and turning her over his knee. The urge took him by a surprise. Granted, he hadn’t had a lot of relationships in his lifetime, but he’d never felt the need to spank any of the women he’d been with. Of course, he thought wryly, fighting to keep his hand from rubbing the side of his face and giving her the satisfaction of knowing she’d managed to give him a pretty good sting with that small palm of hers, none of them had ever seen fit to haul back and smack him one, either. Heather, too, wanted to put her hands up to face and cover her mouth. She knew that it was already in that horrified “o” position she didn’t want it to be in. But it appeared her body was smart enough to react with fear, when her mind wasn’t. She knew she was at a distinct disadvantage, standing here lookup way up at this man she barely knew but who stirred something deep inside her that she didn’t even want to acknowledge. Despite her greater than usual strength, she knew that if he wanted to he could wad her - 129 BacksideOfLove.com

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up into a little ball and toss her into the trash without a second thought. He was more than twice her size, easily, and had more muscles bulging beneath his shirt than she owned in her entire buff body. That probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do – slapping him across the face. But she was pissed, and he was interfering with her treatment of her patient. He needed to be called on it, and he needed not to get into the habit of picking her up. The fact that he could – at any time – heck, any of the brothers could – decide to just lift her up and carry her off. No. That was not going to work for her. Especially since it was him. If she had to think about it some, Heather would have to admit that being carried by him wasn’t such an awful thing. He was amazingly strong, and she felt very safe, although the trip over his shoulder wasn’t the most comfortable of positions. He smelled wonderful, and his body was warm and hard against hers. She almost wanted to sigh, but shook herself out of it and schooled her face as quickly as she could into an answering glare. Personally, she’d love any excuse to be close to him – even something as humiliating and ignominious as being thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. But professionally, that kind of action could not be tolerated. So she stood her ground very bravely, furrowing her brow as he had his, trying to echo his fierce face with one of her own. Beau took one small step, bringing them not quite but almost in contact with each other again. When he spoke, his voice was liquid black velvet, pouring over her from head to toe, setting every molecule to attention – even more than his words. “I will never raise my hand to a woman, and I expect the same courtesy from the women I’m around. But we’ll deal with that later. When - 130 BacksideOfLove.com

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I say stand down, that’s exactly what I expect you to do. Nothing more, nothing less. Understood?” This man gave orders like someone who was used to being obeyed unquestioningly. He belonged in the military. She didn’t take kindly to that kind of treatment. “Look, buddy, I’m the professional here. I know what I’m doing. I cannot let him get away with that. I need to go back in there and let him know that I’m not going to tolerate that kind of behavior. I know he’s angry and frustrated. But that doesn’t give him leave to act like that. Do you think this is the first time I’ve encountered behavior like that? I’ve been doing this for a while now. I know what I’m doing. Really.” He hadn’t thought of the idea that someone else might have reacted like that and been angry enough to throw something at her. His frown deepened considerably. He disliked the idea of Heather being accidentally – or accidentally on purpose – hit with something or by someone even his own brother – and even if it was in the course of her normal work day. She had mentioned to them that she thought they were catering too much to A.J. – that he wasn’t being expected to do much because everyone was so damned happy to have him home alive that they were dancing attendance on him. And Beau knew, intellectually, that she was right. But it was darned hard to see a man who was as alive and vital as A.J. had been before the accident reduced to lying in bed all day. So they all tried to do more for him than they probably should have. They loved him. They wanted the best for him, and they wanted this horrible situation to be as easy on him as was possible. Still, something stubborn in him didn’t want to admit to her that she might be right. He wasn’t usually this contrary, but she seemed to inspire it in him. - 131 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Perhaps you think we should put food and water outside the door and make him crawl to it?” It sounded ridiculous even to his own ears, but the words slipped out anyway. “That would be a start,” she gritted out, only because she didn’t want to back down to this man in any way. Beau had never felt such anger towards any woman. What was this little witch doing to him that he felt like he was going to lose control any second around her? It could be the way his cheek was still throbbing, but he kind of thought it had to do with a more obvious throbbing considerably south of his face. Part of him wanted to pull her into him and plaster her body against his from head to foot. They were still standing absurdly close together – all it would take was a slight tug. But he couldn’t. This wasn’t about them – it shouldn’t be made about them. It was about A.J. and his treatment, and his brother didn’t deserve to have decisions about his treatment made by someone with a raging hard on for his therapist. “Perhaps this assignment isn’t right for you. Our preferred methods of treatment seem to differ a lot.” If possible, Heather’s frown increased a thousand fold. It wasn’t so much losing the job – she was fine financially and the practice would most certainly survive the loss of one client – however prestigious in their small town. But she wanted to help A.J. get better, and she knew she could do it, if they would just give her a free reign in treating him, instead of trying to micromanage the program she created for him. She knew how hard it was to see someone you love struggling physically with infirmity and pain. But she wanted to help – hell, she knew she could help – and that was her only motive in choosing her profession. She was a damned good physical - 132 BacksideOfLove.com

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therapist, but not when her hands were tied by the very family she was trying to bring her patient back to! “Yes. Mine is right, and yours is wrong. And when you have nearly a decade as a physical therapist behind you, then we can argue. How would you like me to come in here and try to tell you how to run your ranch?” He didn’t like the idea at all, but he didn’t see things that way. This was his brother. His older brother, that had always been, if not the biggest of them all, the biggest in their minds. The solid, dependable leader of the band of them. It was unbearable to see him like this, and damned near impossible not to want to help him in any way at all, even the minutest. He wasn’t about to admit that he could see a grain of truth in what she was saying. He just wasn’t going to do it. Instead, he leaned down and pressed his nose to hers. “I think that if you did that that you would have been stepping way over your bounds. Like you did when you slapped me a few minutes ago.” Heather almost bit her lip, but not quite. His scolding tone made her want to squirm badly, but she stood her ground and didn’t flinch. “Well, so are you. If I’m going to help your brother, then you need to let me just do it and not interfere.” “I’m afraid we are at an impasse here. I’m not going to stand idly by and watch my brother struggle for something when I can do it for him.” “Then you’re condemning him to a life in that bedroom. Of never walking again, and maybe even dying. He’s very depressed, and if you can’t get him to care about living again, if you can’t find something for him to live for, then he’s just going to waste away even more than he already has.” It was the bald, bare truth, whether he liked it or not.

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He most certainly was not. They’d get another therapist. When he was ready. The muscle in his jaw that had relaxed somewhat began to jump again at her words – at the fact that he knew she believed them, and that scared him more than anything else. “You’re not the only game in town, Heather.” Her eyes wanted to drift closed at the sound of her name on his lips, but this was hardly that kind of situation, so she didn’t allow it. Later, when she was alone, she’d replay it in her mind ad nausea, but not now. She had to be strong with him, lest he see that she was inches – aching, lonely, throbbing inches – from throwing herself into his arms and making even more of a fool of herself than he had accomplished with his little stunt getting her in here. Her eyes remained locked with his, and he had to give her credit. She was no wimp. It wasn’t easy to stand up to any Thornton brother, and she’d been doing it for longer than almost any woman he knew – except their mother – without so much as batting one of those dark, sooty eyelashes. Beau saw her swallow hard, and for just a second, he thought he saw a crack in her front as she blinked slowly. “I’ll send you my bill.” She tried to turn away, and he immediately felt the loss of her body heat so close to him. Before she could take more than a small step away from him, Beau had reached down and captured her hand, tugging her back and, this time, putting her right where he wanted her – pasted against him from knees to chest. “Not so fast, honey,” he drawled, forcibly lacing his fingers through hers, just in case she got a notion about leaving. “You can bill us whatever you like, but we have something we need to settle between us before you leave.” Genuinely confused, Heather couldn’t imagine what that could be – but she knew that she didn’t like the serious, almost foreboding look on his face. There wasn’t anything between them - 134 BacksideOfLove.com

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– and right now, there was much less than usual. She could feel his warmth seeping through their clothes. He was rock hard, but still very comfortable to lean against, as he was leveraging her into doing. She would have given her right arm to be able to just relax and put her arms around him, but that wasn’t going to happen. Considering the fact that he had just, in essence, fired her, it was never going to happen. Opting for a standoffish attitude she didn’t feel, Heather said impatiently, “Not as far as I’m concerned we don’t.” Without so much as an iota of thought, Beau did exactly what he’d wanted to do moments ago – he propped his foot up on the couch and tipped her over his broad leg, administering a flurry of painful swats to her nylon shorts covered bottom. She might as well not have been wearing anything. The shorts she was wearing were very thin and very loose – everything she wore to work fit that description because she couldn’t be constantly tugging or adjusting her clothing when she might have her patient in her arms. But it was definitely not the kind of thing one would want to be wearing when being spanked by anyone, and especially by a man the size of Beau. Outwardly, she fought him like a whirling dervish. At one point, Beau was worried that she was going to fall off his leg, and because of his height, that wasn’t a short drop. He leaned over a little, wrapping his arm around her waist and holding her much more tightly while she did her level best to kill herself trying to get away. Considering what he knew of her, he couldn’t say that her reaction was much of a surprise, although if she hadn’t fought him so frantically, he might – might – have stopped spanking her much more quickly. But something about her reaction pushed him to deliver a final round of blistering swats before he helped her up, catching her chin before she had a chance to recover herself quite, - 135 BacksideOfLove.com

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growling, “Make sure you’re ready for the consequences before you slap me again. I don’t know what kind of men you’re used to hanging around with, but I won’t put up with that, sweetie. You’d do well to remember that.” Infuriated with herself on more levels than she could count – and with him on every possible level – she schooled herself not to just turn and run from him like some scatterbrained teenager. She was over thirty, for God’s sake, and he’d just spanked her! She couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. The only thing she wanted at this moment – besides to reach around and rub her poor abused butt – was to get the hell away from him. Heather very slowly and very deliberately took a step away from him, then turned – keeping her arms close to her body so that it would be harder for him to reach out and try to tug her back – and walked carefully to the door, extremely proud of herself that she managed to do so without collapsing or tripping over something, since her eyes were clouded with tears of both pain and rage. The drive home was shorter than usual, since her mind was racing with thoughts of what had happened this evening. She’d been fired. She’d never been fired from a job in her life, and, as much as she wanted it to be, this wasn’t just the average, run of the mill client, either. The Thorntons were a force to be reckoned with, whether it was just their name and reputation or an individual encounter, she thought wryly. And it wouldn’t be a good thing that the most important family in town had discharged her. It wasn’t a career killer, but it wasn’t great, either. Heather sighed as she parked her car in the garage and stalked into the house, still fuming at one particular Thorton’s high handedness. They were a law unto themselves – and, she had to admit, that they would probably think and act exactly the same way - 136 BacksideOfLove.com

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whether they actually had the power and money they had or not. It was just the way they were – macho, dominating, throwbacks – the lot of them. Every step she took reminded her of that fact. The fact that he’d taken her over his knee and seriously applied that big, broad palm to a very delicate portion of her anatomy – one that was still throbbing and stinging almost thirty minutes later. She didn’t think she’d ever been so angry in her life about so many things. She went through her evening rituals automatically, without really thinking about them as she ran the night’s events through her mind, getting madder with every second. She should have been able to get away from him somehow – granted, he was humongous and rippling with muscles, but she was small and agile with a particular strength of her own. There was something about that position – and the fact that it was him and she apparently would suffer through any excuse to be close to him, she scolded herself wryly – that made the embarrassment factor almost override everything else. It was hard to defend yourself when you were lying over the unyielding, trunk like leg of someone you were incredibly attracted to. There was nowhere to go, nothing to really grab for leverage to raise yourself up. She tried to pinch him, but there wasn’t an ounce of flabby flesh on him. Her nails were kept short, so there was no help there, and nothing of his was near enough to bite, which was what she desperately wanted to do. He’d spanked her! She just kept repeating it over and over in her mind, trying to come to grips with it but entirely unable to. He’d spanked her! Heather was still shaking her head as she crawled under the covers, gingerly, lying on her side. He’d spanked her, and it had friggin’ well hurt! It still hurt, the snot! - 137 BacksideOfLove.com

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Seemed like getting fired wasn’t that bad a thing, when she considered having to confront him again. She knew that if she ever had to see him again, which was a distinct possibility considering how small the town was, or if she was asked back to deal with A.J. when they’d finally realized that she was right, she’d spend the entire time bright red and trying to avoid him, instead of concentrating on her patient. What frustrated her the most, however, beyond the spanking itself, was the fact that she wasn’t outraged enough. In fact, she was loathe to admit it, but in the back of her mind, despite all the bitching and whining she was doing to herself, the heat he had created in her backside had definitely worked itself around to her front side, right where she didn’t want it. She’d noticed as she’d undressed and climbed into fresh panties and a ratty – but clean – old t-shirt that declared, “Talk Nerdy to Me”, that her original panties had been distinctly – depressingly – wet. It was because it was him. Her heart was still thumping. Her bottom was still throbbing. And every time she closed her eyes, all she could feel, all she could see, all she could smell was him. She remembered every excruciating, thrilling, painful micro second of it, and she knew she always would. Her body had been keeping her awake with its own demands – demands that were created by him – which she was diligently trying to ignore and not having much success at. When the phone rang, it startled her, but not quite as badly as it would have if she’d been dead asleep. She immediately leaned over and turned touched her beside light. Heather had a personal quirk that would never allow her to answer a phone in the dark, if it could be avoided. Phone calls at night weren’t – as a rule – going to be full of good news, and she preferred to receive bad news with her eyes wide open and as much light in the room as possible. “Hello?” - 138 BacksideOfLove.com

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He cut right to the chase, his deep throated growl cutting right through her heart to that area that was much lower and much more receptive to his blatant sensuality. “Are you all right?” She wanted to snort confidently in his ear, but couldn’t quite get herself to do it. What he’d done had touched her more than she’d wanted it to – he’d touched her a lot more than she wanted him to, at least considering they weren’t in any sort of a relationship. “I’m fine,” she answered, stiffly polite, “thank you.” “Heather.” Very subtly chiding. “What?” “I think we need to talk about a lot of things.” “I don’t,” she answered quickly. “Unless it’s the assault charge I’m filing against you.” He snorted derisively, letting her know that that wasn’t something he was particularly worried about. “Does your bottom still hurt?” She shouldn’t have answered that question, but she did, indignantly. “Yes, it does. Are you happy?” “No,” he replied quickly. “I’m not. I don’t want to spank you. I think there are much more interesting things we could do together.” Dear God. What he was saying was what she’d wanted to hear for a very long time, and she thought her heart was going to pop right out of her chest at the thought that he might be as interested in her as she was in him. Heather was so stunned that she didn’t say anything for a long moment. It seemed to be her night to be struck pretty much speechless by him, which was a rarity for her on any occasion.

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“I haven’t heard a click yet, so you must still be there . . .” his bedroom voice drawled. “I’m here,” she said breathlessly, wondering if it was possible to faint while one was already lying down. “With A.J. as sick as he is, I don’t have a lot of time right now for dating and stuff. But as soon as he gets better, Miss Heather Dennison, you can bet that I’m going to come calling. And I’m not going to take no for an answer.” Every word scraped directly over the most secret, sensitive part of her, as if his finger – or his tongue – was already there, playing in that intimate grotto. But, damn her, she couldn’t seem to keep her mouth shut. “If you don’t get him up and moving, the next time we’re going to meet is at his funeral.” She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she’d gone too far when he returned icily, “Your check will be in the mail,” before the phone went dead in her ear. She felt as if her heart had stopped at the same time. Heather was able to get the phone back into its cradle and the light off before the tears overcame her. She had had some sort of a shot with him – a one time deal, she was quite sure. The type of thing that only came around once in anyone’s lifetime with that person that was perfect for them, and she’d blown it, all because she couldn’t keep a handle on her stubborn professionalism and just button it until he – and all the brothers – were more receptive to it. It took her a long time to fall asleep after that momentous phone call, tears drying on her face as her breathing evened out slowly and the salty tears dried on her face.

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Chapter III

B

eau had to admit as he watched her fiddle with her napkin and her water glass that if it hadn’t been for how passionate she was about changing how they treated A.J., Beau would never have called Hope and A.J. probably would have gone down the degenerative path she’d prescribed. He knew that once he’d taken some time to think about it – because both she and what she’d said were constantly popping into his head at the most inopportune times, like when he was trying to wrestle a bull to the ground, or trying to rope a calf or brand somebody – hopefully not one of the hands. The time she bothered him the most was when he was trying to get to sleep, which he hadn’t had a good night of since he’d had her over his knee. He was a very sexual man – although he didn’t reveal that fact to very many people – but very definitely a one woman man. He just hadn’t been able to find that one woman – yet. But Heather Dennison – the feel of her in his arms, the way she smelled, the fact that beneath those baggy sweats lay a surprisingly curvaceous woman was driving him crazy. And then the fact that he’d been able to touch her bottom – albeit fleetingly, but frequently for a short time. He wished their - 141 BacksideOfLove.com

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first intimate encounter hadn’t been because of a spanking. He was surprising himself to find that he wanted to counter that negative situation with a much more positive one. Like a long, slow kiss. While he kept himself up – in more ways than one – thinking about that annoying imp, her words kept repeating through his mind, until he finally absorbed the truth behind them. But he couldn’t see asking Heather back – except for his own prurient intents. For one thing, A.J. had already made his opinion of her known in the most elemental of manners by killing that lamp, and for the second thing he didn’t think she’d come . . . although he knew he could solve that easily by kidnapping her, if necessary. What’s an assault or kidnapping charge amongst friends? Luckily, Hope had decided to come down without too much coercion on his part, and damned if she didn’t advocate essentially exactly what Heather had been trying to get them to do – in a completely natural, totally untrained manner. Right from the gut. But she could get away with it better than Heather had by a long shot. She had the advantage of knowing A.J. for longer, and the fact that she loved him on her side, and although she didn’t know it or wouldn’t acknowledge it, he loved her back, just as deeply. So the brothers had, still with a bit of reluctance, done as both of the women had asked. It certainly wasn’t easy to see someone you loved – someone who had been the rock of the family for quite some time – struggle so, physically and mentally. But by then, anything would be an improvement. A.J. had continued to withdraw, and the situation was only getting worse. At that point, they all would have done just about anything to help him get better – pride be damned. The important thing was to get their annoying, stubborn, pain in the neck older brother back. Soon the two women teamed up – Hope had no qualms at all about calling Heather and coercing her back, at least for long enough to show her the ropes. But the two of them got along so - 142 BacksideOfLove.com

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well that, together, they managed to completely resurrected A.J. – even against his not inconsiderable will. No one was happier than Beau was to be completely wrong, but he didn’t get a chance to talk to Heather about it, to apologize, because he was so busy running the corporation as well as both ranches. And it didn’t help that she seemed to be less than interested in ever having any sort of contact with him. She wasn’t exactly angry around him, but more towards how she had been when they’d first met about A.J.’s condition – shy and skittish, like a lost schoolgirl. She had refused to meet his eyes, and dodged quickly around him like he was a leper any time they’d encountered each other. However annoying her behavior was, he couldn’t do anything about it until A.J. got back on his feet, so he’d sucked it up and feasted himself on her whenever she was within eyesight, which, of course, only served to make her that much more nervous as soon as he appeared – so much so that he tried to avoid seeing her when she was working directly with A.J.. He didn’t want her dropping him, or dropping weight on him as he recovered. So he began to watch her covertly whenever he could, becoming more and more intrigued and more and more enamored of her. He also developed an extremely healthy respect for how she did what she did. A.J. wasn’t the easiest of patients, but even he was working against what she and Hope were trying to do, she remained ultimately more patient and calm than Beau knew he ever could. And he continued to be amazed at just how strong she was. Not bulky and muscular and masculine, like those completely unfeminine bulky female bodybuilders, but competent and secure and confident in with her own body. She had defined muscles, but they weren’t grossly exaggerated or deformed, just there, underneath what he knew to be infinitely soft skin, ready to help her in her chosen profession. She was a petite little thing, and he was frankly glad she had the muscles she had. The thought of how easily he was able to - 143 BacksideOfLove.com

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pick her up that time he delivered her into the study made him frown and think of how easily someone else might do the same thing – for a not so good reason. He’d had to smile at himself, certain that she would categorize his own intentions at that point as not so good, either. As a result, he ended up spending the majority of his time when he was at home in a state that quickly became incredibly uncomfortable. She was around all the time, so that whenever he was able to make a pass through the house to get something to eat or change or for whatever reason, she was there, and his body never failed to take considerable note of that fact. Nothing he could do seemed to ease the ache, and he quickly came to realize that he would some how have to accomplish the impossible and win her back. Luckily, he loved a challenge. Once A.J. was back on his feet and able to take over what Beau had been doing to fill in for him – which he gladly relinquished to a man he recognized was much better suited for those kinds of things than he would ever be – Beau found he had a lot more time on his hands. He’d stayed in the saddle long enough to see A.J. and Hope married and go off on their honeymoon. He didn’t want them worrying about a thing while they were off in Hawaii. But once they’d returned, and things became more normal for him – and he set his mind to asking her out, expecting to encounter considerable resistance to the idea from her. Instead, he happened upon her while she was seeing Hope, with whom she had become fast friends. And the next thing he knew, she was standing in front of him, staring at his feet, practically shuffling in place she was so obviously nervous, and those immortal words slipped out from between those full, inviting pink lips of hers. - 144 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Would you like to go out sometime?” At first he’d thought that he’d misheard her. Where was the vitriol? Where was the sarcasm and the caustic insults – or at the very least, the nervous cold shoulder he’d been experiencing from her? Of course, he’d said yes immediately, so that she wouldn’t have a chance to withdraw the offer.

~~~ That was how they’d ended up here, with her sitting anxiously across from him, looking as if she expected him to chop her head off – or worse, pull her over his lap for an impromptu spanking – at any given moment. Beau reached over and grabbed Heather’s hand, noting how cold her fingers were. With an endearing crooked smile, he teased, “I promise that I won’t spank you here. Does that help?” Her glare somehow made him feel better, although it probably shouldn’t have. “You damned well better hadn’t.” Getting angry at him helped dispel her nervousness. Heather wasn’t at all sure what to do with him now, though. He was sitting there, looking scrumptiously manly and gorgeous and macho and masculine, and she didn’t want to be mad at him. She wanted to crawl into his arms, but she could hardly do that either. She sighed heavily. How had she ever let Hope talk her into this? But, despite her fears, they settled into talking rather easily about subjects that were close to them – his brothers and Hope at first, and then ranching and the weather, which went hand in hand, - 145 BacksideOfLove.com

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as well as what kinds of patients she was helping now in her practice. Dinner was exceptional – the restaurant she’d chosen was one of his favorites; she knew because she had a spy in the household who was only too happy to suss out that kind of information for her and report back. Hope wanted Heather and Beau to get together – but then she had an ulterior motive: she needed the estrogen at the dinner table every night! It was a steak restaurant, of course, although they served other things, it was steak that they were famous for. As a cattleman, Beau could hardly be seen eating anything else, although Heather had learned from Hope that she’d been carefully expanding the guys’ palates as much as she could. Besides steak, the restaurant was most famous for its onion rings, which were made from sweet Vidalias, and had a crispy, crunchy, flaky outer coating that was spiced just right. Heather gained several pounds just thinking about them, but they indulged anyway and devoured a huge platter of them all by themselves as they settled into a surprisingly casual conversation. The dinner salads were amazingly huge – as were all portions at McLeod’s – and came with a basket of hot, homemade yeast rolls, with a huge tub of maple butter. As much as she wanted to dive into that basket and eat every single roll – and those at everyone else’s tables, too – Heather forced herself not to take one. Of course, it didn’t help that he took one of his own, sliced it proficiently in two, slathered it with maple butter, then offered it to her. There was something extremely sensual about sharing food – about feeding someone. It was very basic, almost animalistic to share nourishment with someone else, yet also a very nurturing thing to do. His selfless act surprised Heather and warmed her heart. She took a healthy bite and couldn’t suppress an orgasmic groan as the hot, yeasty bread and the sweetened butter melted into her mouth. - 146 BacksideOfLove.com

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Beau stopped in the act of turning the bread to his own mouth, to take a bite right where she had, as if it was a wine glass they’d been sipping out of rather than a roll. Her moan nearly unmanned him right there at the dinner table. He swallowed hard and tried to remember where he was, and that he couldn’t just reach out and tug her to him there, in the restaurant, for everyone to see. And it wasn’t easy. They continued sharing their meals through out. Beau’s favorite meal there was a porterhouse steak, and he ordered it despite the fact that he thought that she might try to pay for the meal because she’d asked him, which he wasn’t about to allow. He got it smothered in onions, and their special garlic butter sauce. It was a massive cut, and he knew he could put a reasonable dent in it. He worked hard for a living, and he ate quite a bit of food with absolutely no apologies. She’d ordered a lean grilled chicken dish with tons of veggies and a rosemary reduction, which she tucked into with the same relish as he did his steak, which hung over the side of his plate, but they exchanged bites of each other’s meals, and he had to admit that he liked what she’d ordered. It was obviously much more dietetic than what he’d chosen, but it had a lot of flavor. During a pause in their conversation, he asked her the question he’d been wanting to all evening. “So, how’d you work up the nerve to ask me out, even though I gave you a hard time about your method for A.J.’s treatment, and had the audacity to spank you?” Heather choked on her chicken, even though it was moist and tender and not at all dry. It wasn’t the food that made her breathe suddenly – it was his question. Leave it to Beau to ask something that no one else would. She leaned forward and reached for her water glass, quickly gulping down several swallows.

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Beau was concerned, but smiling. He hadn’t expected such a reaction. To him, it was a normal thing to be curious about. He would have sworn that he probably would have had to drag her kicking and screaming out on a date with him, but here she was – of her own volition, and having gotten up the gumption to ask him. That couldn’t have been easy, and he wondered what – or who, he suspected – had inspired her to do it. Heather was wondering just exactly how much of the truth of the situation she should really be relating to him, and took a bite of her dinner to try to stall him as long as possible while mulling over the her answer. The bald face truth was that Hope had pretty much not given her any choice about it. They’d become fast friends since banding together against the brothers’ decided method of treatment for one of their own – which had had obvious and disastrous results. But none of them was used to being wrong, and it was due in large part to Hope’s strength of character – and the fact that they all already knew and loved her, especially A.J. – that she had succeeded where Heather had failed. It was easier to hear an idea like “treat your currently crippled brother as if he can recover and he will recover” from some one you knew and trusted, rather than a complete stranger. They were automatically spending a lot of time together – although Heather had understandably been a bit reluctant to come back. At first Hope had assumed that was because of the lamp A.J. had thrown at her, but she discovered one evening, when she’d come over to Heather’s place to crash for a bit of a breather from A.J., who, now that he was fully recovered was incredibly attentive and wonderfully creative and loving and nearly overwhelming in the intensity that he had focused directly on his adorable new wife. But that that wasn’t it. Heather had snorted sharply at Hope’s hypothesis, eyeing her new friend as she handed her a huge slice of chocolate fudge - 148 BacksideOfLove.com

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caramel pie that fairly groaned under it’s topping of vanilla ice cream and homemade whipped cream. Hope took one spoonful and her eyes rolled back in her head. “How the heck can you eat this stuff and still stay as skinny as you are?” Heather tucked herself into her favorite pink recliner. “Well, I only make something like this about once every six months. And what I do for a living makes me burn a lot of calories naturally.” Hope had nodded her head in complete agreement, having earned a glimpse into Heather’s world through A.J.’s treatment. “I can vouch for that.” She took another bite, and nearly dissolved into a puddle on the couch. So, answer my question. I’m not letting you off the hook that easily, girl.” Despite the chocolate decadence that was melting in her mouth, Heather frowned. “That lamp missed me by a mile.” It was Hope’s turn to snort. “I’m surprised. Then he really wasn’t throwing it at you – he has a damned good arm.” She twisted in a chair in a way that Heather didn’t recognize at that point as meaning that his arms was a bit too good for the health and welfare of Hope’s bottom. “No, he was just throwing something – anything – out of sheer frustration. I understand that. I’ve had much worse heaved at me, believe me.” She took a small sip of a very smooth blend of coffee she’d brewed, which only added to the explosion in her mouth. “You have?” Hope was almost diverted by that information, which was, of course, Heather’s reason for divulging it. “Oh yes! One time - ” - 149 BacksideOfLove.com

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Hope held up her hand. “Wait. Stop. Save it for later. I want to get to the bottom of why you stopped treating A.J. if the lamp didn’t bother you.” Heather looked slightly apoplectic. She wasn’t at all sure she wanted to get into this with Hope. It was too damned embarrassing to admit the reality of what had happened between them. She didn’t want anyone getting to her bottom – most especially not Beau, ever again! But Heather had always found it extremely hard to prevaricate. She just didn’t have the heart for it. The only place she’d ever been able to get away with a lie was in a poker game in college. And she was a stone cold winner there, taking the rich kids for their hefty allowances every Monday night, when most people in her dorm didn’t have classes until late the next day – if they bothered to go to them at all. “Well . . . um . . .” She could feel her face getting beet red as she pushed the suddenly tasteless treat around the plate. “Now, keep in mind,” Hope interrupted again, “that I already know how you lust after my next oldest brother in law, and go from there.” She watched her new friend get just that much more red – almost alarmingly so, and began to chuckle. “Did you think you were hiding it? He can’t enter a room that your eyes don’t get glued to his form, which, since he’s a Thornton, granted, is pretty darned hot, granted . . .” Heather cleared her throat, trying to ignore what Hope was saying entirely. “So. How’s married life?” she asked with a cheerful smile, her cheeks still burning incandescently. “Uh uh uh. You’re not getting out of it that easily, believe me. When A.J. and I were getting together – finally – I told you everything.”

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“More than I ever wanted to know!” Hope grinned sheepishly, knowing that that was not at all the truth of the situation. “So now, you gotta spill all the gory details.” Heather nearly rolled her eyes. Little did Hope know, they were gorier than she might have imagined. Finally, with Hope leaning forward eagerly to hear every little smidge of information Heather might care to impart, she gave up. “The truth is . . .” Hope leaned so far forward that Heather thought she might fall off the couch. She said it quickly, before she thought better of it. “He and the rest of the brothers had all come running when the lamp hit the wall – it made a big boom. But I knew I just had to go back in there.” Hope nodded in complete agreement. “And?” she prompted eagerly. “Uh . . . well, Beau wouldn’t let me. He was holding onto my arms, and I was struggling to get away, but he wouldn’t let go. Finally, the snot actually lifted me up and carried me to the den!” Hope was all smiles. “That’s great! How romantic!” But Heather was glaring at her angrily. “It most certainly was not! I needed to get back in there, if only to prove to A.J. that that kind of intimidation wasn’t going to work. Beau was interfering with my work – with what he was paying me to do.” She paused for the barest of seconds, then mumbled, “So I slapped him.” Hope knew what she’d heard and her hands flew to her face at the thought, but couldn’t stop herself from asking automatically, “You what?” “I slapped him across the face. I couldn’t get him to put me down and let me do what I needed to do!” - 151 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Oh, wow, I can’t imagine that that went over well!” Every one of the Thornton men was a gentleman, almost to a fault. But she couldn’t see any of them putting up with getting slapped in any way that was going to be pleasant for the slapper. She shuddered at the thought of what might happen if she slapped A.J. She wouldn’t sit down for a week – or two! She couldn’t have been any more surprised at what Heather said next. “The son of a gun spanked me! He put his big fat foot up on that leather couch in the den and leveraged me over that tree trunk leg of his and he whaled on me big time!” Just saying it made her get angry about it all over again. Whatever reaction Heather expected, it wasn’t the one she got from Hope, who dissolved into extremely inappropriate giggles. Heather would have been much happier if the other woman had been at least somewhat as affronted as she herself was. Instead, she had to watch her new friend practically rolling around on the floor in hysterics, which made her red face bloom just that much worse. Hope was trying to control herself. She was. But it was so interesting to hear that that God awful tendency ran in the family that she couldn’t contain herself. Spankery loved company, apparently. She’d kept the fact that A.J. spanked her to herself – it wasn’t something she was about to rush to share with just anyone. But it sounded like spanking ran in the very dominant, very macho Thornton family, and all of a sudden she realized that it might be nice to have another woman she could talk to this about. Hope had done some investigating on the Internet about spanking – the specific type A.J. subscribed to, at least, and now knew that it fit into what aficionados euphemistically called “domestic discipline”. Her hands almost went to her bottom at the thought, but she was able to stop herself – barely. Her husband was most definitely the head of their household, and this interesting, intriguing tidbit of information about Beau pointed towards the idea that it was likely a familial trait – like their tendency to be extremely, anachronistically courteous to woman – - 152 BacksideOfLove.com

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those they didn’t have over their laps at the time – and to succeed at anything they put their hands to. She leaned forward, towards Heather, who was looking somewhat stricken at her reaction. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you or him or that he spanks you. You see,” she swallowed hard. Having committed herself this far, she was finding her mouth extremely dry at the thought of finishing her sentence. “A.J. spanks me, too.” The expression on Heather’s face was worth every bit of the flush of embarrassment Hope could feel creeping up her neck as the words hung out there in the air between them.

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Chapter IV

H

eather’s jaw dropped into her lap with a fleshy thunk. “He what?”

“He spanks me. Just like Beau spanks you.” Once those words were out of her mouth, she realized that they sounded just a tad strange. “Well, I don’t know that for sure, of course, but I’m assuming. From what A.J. tells me, just like A.J. Senior spanked Mrs. Thornton, so it seems to run in the family.” “They’re Neanderthals, all of them!” Heather wailed, getting up to pace. She felt like taking a very stiff drink even though she generally eschewed alcohol of any sort, and there wasn’t any in the house, regardless. Heather expected an immediate, complete agreement from Hope, but didn’t get it, and she stopped short right in front of her friend. “Wait a minute. Why aren’t you cheering me on about the nice rant I’ve just started? I mean, I am right, right? This is the twenty first century, and women have the vote and can do as we damned well please. We don’t need or want to be around the type of man who feels the need to physically correct his girlfriend or wife. Right?” Heather’s brain kicked in around the fog of anger at that moment. Of course Hope would think she was wrong – she - 154 BacksideOfLove.com

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was married to a man who spanked her! She couldn’t get her mind to accept that thought. Those two were so obviously in love it was downright embarrassing to watch them. As a matter of fact, she’d been privy to a time when, just before the wedding, they’d been smooching in the kitchen. Not grossly, not really sexually – although it was certainly hard to miss the sexual connection between the two; they always had their hands on each other – but romantically and obviously with incredible feeling and pretty much obliviously to what was going on around them, which was that most of the rest of the family had gathered to watch them and their marathon kissing session. A pool about how long they were going to keep it up was formed, and money exchanged hands, until Dunn decided to preemptively end things and dumped the entire bucket of ice from the ice machine in the refrigerator over the two of them, only to find himself running for his life from his enraged oldest brother. How could she be so damned obviously happy and healthy and yet get spanked whenever her husband decided she needed to be? That was the question Heather put to Hope as she sank almost dejectedly into her chair again, feeling distinctly more defeated than she had when she’d found out that she wasn’t alone in this situation. All thoughts of fudge pie forgotten, Hope took a fortifying swallow of soda. “Well . . . I have to admit – I reacted just as you are the first time he did it. In fact, it was why I left him when we were first engaged. I didn’t think I could live in that kind of relationship, either. I was a successful woman, I didn’t need no man telling me what to do every five seconds, laying out my clothes like I was a child or lording over me every time I wanted to go somewhere. All I could think of was all of the domestic abuse cases I’d ever read or heard about.

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“But you know, there’s absolutely no comparison between the two. None at all.” Heather couldn’t control her snort of derision at what Hope was saying. She’d felt the sting herself. She’d had a hard time sitting. She’d been in that completely ignominious position where the only thing you could see is your hair hanging around you in a curtain and parts of the carpeting, and then, finally the damp spot your tears created. “I know, I know. There are a lot of people who would say that it’s abuse.” She took a deep breath. “Well, if this is abuse, then I want tons more of it, because, before and after I left him, this is the best relationship I’ve ever been in in my life. I’ve never been with a man who is so obviously in love with me. Yeah, he can be taciturn and uncommunicative some of the time – and I’m discounting when he was sick completely, because that’s not A.J. . . . except the unrelenting stubbornness and the feeling that he’s always right,” she added with a tinge of sarcasm and a crooked smile that was nonetheless full of love. “But he loves me. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would give his right arm – hell, he’d give his life for me – without so much as a second thought. I know that I am the most important thing in his life. He’s left roundup to be with me – to take care of me when all I had was a bad cold. He puts me first – no questions asked – in his life, before the ranch, before his brothers, before everyone. He shows me – in millions of ways that are so much more than just sexual – which, by the way, is pretty damned amazing, too - that I am important to him. That I matter to him, above all else.” Heather could see that Hope was tearing up at her own words, and she had to admit that she was, too. “And I hope that I make him feel the same way. He loves me – completely, and without reservation, even if he is a stubborn coot sometimes. And he wants what’s best for me. Always. You and I know that sometimes, every adult on the planet does stuff that’s not good for them. Some people get hooked on drugs or - 156 BacksideOfLove.com

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alcohol, or gamble . . . None of my little problems are that drastic, but I do forget to call him sometimes when I’m going to be later than usual at school, and you know how I am about car maintenance. If I get in and turn the key and it starts, I’m good to go. “Well, it’s just downright disrespectful and hurtful not to call the person who things the sun rises and sets on you and let them know that you’re okay, just running late. And driving a car that’s not mechanically sound – I wouldn’t want A.J. to do that – ever. So . . .” she knew she was going to have to go ahead and say it, so she met Heather’s eyes and just did it. “I’ve been spanked for both of those things. And I don’t regret it – the spankings I got – in the least. I do regret – and had a lot of guilt – about doing them. More about the not calling him, frankly, than driving the car with bald tires. And I won’t do either thing again.” She wasn’t just whistling Dixie, either. She could still feel the searing heat of both of those spankings, and it made her adjust her position on the couch restlessly. Heather swallowed hard, but couldn’t take her eyes off the other woman, amazed at the intimate details she was so willingly revealing to a relative stranger. “As I said, I certainly know that A.J. loves me. And I know that it’s hard for him to spank me.” “Uh, yeah, right!” “No, it is. I’m not kidding. It’s hard to hurt the person in this world that you love the most. But he does it, because he loves me, and he wants me to always be as safe as he can possibly make me.” “So, you let him spank you. Whenever he wants to.” Hope seemed to consider this very carefully. “Yes, but that’s because I know A.J. He and Beau and all the rest of the - 157 BacksideOfLove.com

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Thornton brothers are all cut from the same cloth. They’re not like other men nowadays. They have a pretty fiftiesish attitude about women, which means that they open doors, and call them ‘ma’am’ and try to protect them to the best of their abilities. I’ve known A.J. all my life. Except for when he’d decided to give up rather than fight his way back to health, I’ve never known him to make a bad decision. I could never see him just flipping me over his lap for the fun of it - ” She had to stop and clear her throat, knowing her face was beet red – because he had done just that occasionally given her a sensual spanking rather than a punishment one. “Well . . . that’s not entirely true . . .” Heather had to giggle, just a little. “I guess the bottom line is that I trust him. I trust him not to take it to the point of abuse, and I trust him not to make rules for me that are just plain stupid or frivolous. And, since he loves me and wants me to be happy, I know he won’t.” “You have rules?” Heather’s eyes were wide. “Uh . . . yeah, just basic, really normal ones, like don’t overdraw the checkbook and don’t stay out late without calling. Common sense stuff. Really, it’s just plain courtesy, too. I wouldn’t want to sit home at night and wonder where the hell he was and if he was okay.” Just the thought of having to do that made her shudder. Heather had to agree with that. She wouldn’t want to be worrying like that about Beau. But normal rules? For a grown woman? She hadn’t realized she’d voiced those thoughts aloud, but apparently she did, because Hope was responding to them. “Yes. Rules about my behavior.” She took a deep breath and thought for a long moment while Heather simply sat there, staring at her in disbelief. “I think one of the biggest things that helped me to accept the fact that A.J. was going to spank me was the realization - 158 BacksideOfLove.com

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that he was going to lead by example. Now, he’s not perfect – Lord knows,” she rolled her eyes. “The man has cornered the market on annoying some days, I swear. But the things I have rules to help remind me about are things he already does. He doesn’t swear – at least not that I’ve ever heard. He keeps close track of our money. He’s on top of oil changes and crap like that . . . He always calls me if he’s going to be home late, and he does his damndest not to worry me about anything . . .” Heather let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Do you realize just how bizarre this is? That we’re talking about this kind of a thing in this day and age?” “It’s unusual, yes, but we’re not alone by any means.” “We’re not?” she answered, not at all sure she wanted to be included in the “we”. “No, we’re not. Google it. You’ll come up with tons of couples who live this way, and very happily, I might add.” “I did. I got a lot of sites with red butts and that’s about it.” “Well, I’ll send you some links. It’s a big interest of a lot of people, but not necessarily for the same reason as why you or I get spanked. Although . . . it does have its . . . uh . . added benefits . . .” Heather was intrigued. “Added benefits?” Hope didn’t think it was possible, but she managed to get several shades brighter red. “Yeah. There’s something about . . . the . . . uh . . . position . . . and the . . . lack of clothing . . . and the . . .” she cleared her throat again. “The . . . proximity of certain areas of the body to . . . uh . . . other certain areas of the body . . . ” It helped that Heather was just about the same shade of red. It did. She’d turned that shade because she’d remembered just how she’d felt when she’d crawled under the covers that night – how - 159 BacksideOfLove.com

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she most definitely hadn’t wanted to feel, but her body hadn’t seemed to want to listen to her at that point, and now she had a little better understanding of just why it might react that way, instead of with the outrage she’d felt at the audacity of his spanking her in the first place. As Heather tried to absorb all the intriguing information she’d gotten this evening, Hope rose and gathered the dishes and glasses they’d used, balancing them expertly into the kitchen. “Waitressed your way through college, did you?” she couldn’t keep from commenting. “Yeah, and then during the summers when I first started to teach and I was only making about a dollar a year – after taxes and if you figured in how much time I spent doing schoolwork at home.” Heather stood and Hope came over and hugged her friend. “Think of it this way, girlie girl. You’re ahead of me – you didn’t run away to another state.” They both laughed, but there was truth there, also. “And you asked him out, and he said yes – so you know he’s interested, even though I’ve been trying to tell you that for the past how long?” Hope shrugged into her coat and found herself turned around towards the door by the woman who was behind her. “Ah, shaddap. No one likes a know it all.” Hope stopped at the door, turning to say seriously, “If he loves you anywhere near as much as my A.J. loves me . . . well, then you’ll be one of the luckiest women on the planet, believe me. And you’ll get to have a fabulous sister in law, too.” She waved her way out the door. Heather snorted derisively as she made sure that Hope got into her car fine, and that it started. She didn’t close the door - 160 BacksideOfLove.com

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behind her friend until she was sure that Hope was on her way home to her loving husband.

~~~ But faced with Beau’s pointed question on their date, she wasn’t at all sure about what she wanted to tell him. She decided to go minimalist. “Hope helped.” “I had imagined she did. How so?” He would have to pursue the topic, wouldn’t he. Sighing, she put her fork down and met his eyes, deciding to take the plunge. “She told me that A.J. spanks her.” One bushy eyebrow rose, but that was all of the reaction he had as he reached for his ice water. “I know.” “You know?” Beau chuckled. “Well, I was living in the big house for a while, when A.J. was sick and after Hope had arrived. There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t know that.” “Oh my friggin’ word.” She knew she’d just found out something she could never tell Hope. “Yeah. The walls are pretty well insulated, really, but there are some sounds they’re just not capable of muffling.” Heather put her head in her hands. “I really could have lived just fine for the rest of my life without knowing that, you know.” Beau reached out and grabbed her left hand. “Aw, relax. Obviously Hope trusts you enormously if she spoke to you about such an intimate part of their relationship. And I want you to know - 161 BacksideOfLove.com

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that I’m in the process of renovating the house on my own ranch, and it won’t have that problem . . .” Heather grimaced, but nodded, completely ignoring his last comment. “Yeah, she’s gotten to be a great friend.” He squeezed that small but strong hand and noted that most of her dinner remained on her plate. Nodding towards it, he said quietly, “Finish your dinner, sweetie. You’re so tiny I feel like I could knock you over with a thought.” Her frown said that he’d hit a nerve. “I may be small, but I’m strong!” He squeezed her fingers gently, as if he was very aware of his own strength. “I know, honey, I know. But you need to eat to keep up that strength.” She was beginning to hate it when he was right. She didn’t eat enough that she could really afford to skip a meal, but their conversation and her mental wanderings because of it had caused her to neglect her meal. “And you wouldn’t want me to have to spank you for not eating, would you?” She glared up at him, her mouth full of luscious, just slightly spicy veggies, but she chewed and swallowed before brandishing her fist at him. “You’d better hadn’t!” He caught that fist easily and held it. “Or for threatening your boyfriend?” Later on, when the check arrived, she had practically fought him for it. They each had one end of it, and Beau knew it wasn’t going to survive the battle. And he also knew that there was no way he was going to let her buy their dinners. It went against every grain he owned, and it just wasn’t going to happen. - 162 BacksideOfLove.com

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But he didn’t say a thing. He didn’t yell or scream or make any sort of a scene. He didn’t even just quietly reach over and remove her hand from the check. All he did was raise one eyebrow and stare at her intently. She remembered that look. She hadn’t seen much of it, but she’d seen enough. It was the exact look he’d worn after she’d slapped him, and now she knew – first hand – what the consequences were when he used it. Her fingers let go of the check without her even really realizing that they had. It was self preservation in its purest form. The minute those dark eyes had settled on her with that awful intensity, her bottom had begun to tingle in warning of its own impending doom, and her body had taken over from there. “Smart girl,” he muttered, still not taking his eyes off of her as he reached into his wallet and fished two hundred dollar bills out, placing them on the tray with the bill. She didn’t look happy, but he wasn’t going to worry about it. “I asked you out, you know. I should pay.” “Not in my lifetime, you’re not,” he drawled without missing a beat, nodding at the waiter as he retrieved the bill. They sat there silently for a moment while the house band started up in front of the small dance floor. It was a reasonable group, and the lead singer did a pretty good impression of Toby Keith, singing, “I Wanna Talk About Me.” Several couples had gotten up and were dancing. Heather had forgotten that McLeod’s had dancing. God forbid he should ask her – she could move people around with the best of them, and with great care for their comfort and well being. But she couldn’t follow a dance step if her life depended on it.

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Luckily, he didn’t show any signs of it, although she could see that he was tapping his cowboy booted foot under the table. He signed for the bill minutes later, and Heather stood up and began to get ready to leave, but just then the band began a new song that was much slower and more romantic – “Breathe” by Faith Hill - and before she could get a step away from him, he’d caught her hand and tugged her towards the dance floor. Heather could not possibly have been any more reluctant unless he was taking her to get spanked. She did not want to dance with him. She didn’t. She knew she was going to spend the entire time using the tops of his feet while he used the bottoms, and the idea embarrassed her to no end. Almost as much as a spanking, but not quite. At least when he spanked her it was in private – this was going to be in front of what seemed to be most of the population of Haverhill, Texas. Of course they would have to go out on a Friday night, when everyone and their brothers were out. But Beau wasn’t having any of her protestations. He continued to pull gently – but insistently – on her arm as she tried – completely unsuccessfully – to dig in her heels. The thought of how she could possibly expect to win against a man his size flitted through her mind, but whether she won or not, she wasn’t about to just give up and let him win without a fight. When she’d succeeded in being particularly stubborn about moving any further, just as they’d reached the edge of the wooden dance floor, he turned quickly, though, and wrapped his arm around her waist, lifting her expertly and turning gracefully with her, as if they were already dancing together, even though her feet weren’t anywhere near the floor. It was a strange position – to be looking down at him rather than craning her neck up to see him – and it made time stop for her. She didn’t even feel it when he did let her down and simply began to dance with her. She couldn’t feel or see or know anything but him. He filled her vision and her senses, almost to overflowing. - 164 BacksideOfLove.com

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Beau had forgotten how wonderful it felt to have her in his arms. She was so small – she aroused every one of the multitude of protective instincts his parents had sought to instill in their muscle bound sons. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and hold her away from the world, so that she was never hurt and never in any sort of danger – so that he could have her all to himself, and he didn’t have to see all the covetous looks she inspired from other men. She was his. Even if she didn’t quite know it yet. She was. And he was going to enjoy showing her how pleasant it could be to have a man around who paid enough attention to keep track of his wife’s behavior – good and bad. Her head was tipped up to his, and she was staring into his eyes as if she was in some sort of trance. He couldn’t resist bending his head and capturing her lips with his own, and they were sweeter than he’d ever imagined. His arms tightened around her just the slightest bit, careful not to hurt her, bringing her that much closer up against him and definitely playing with the fire of his own desire. He’d spent the entire dinner with his napkin in his lap – not only because that was polite, but more because he needed to cover the raging evidence of that desire. He hadn’t had a drink – which he might have normally, just because he liked the taste of some of the local brews that he knew McLeod’s had on tap – because he wanted to be in full control of his faculties. He wanted her, and he knew it was too soon for what his body was craving. They were on their first date, for crying out loud. It was entirely inappropriate for him to be picturing what she might look like as she writhed beneath him in that perfect pleasure he knew he could bring her to. Beau nearly groaned out loud and twirled her away from him – he needed the short break from contact with her to try to get - 165 BacksideOfLove.com

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himself under control. He’d been interested in the opposite sex since his early adolescence, but he controlled his raging needs – they didn’t control him. As a matter of fact, he controlled them particularly well, priding himself on his ability to deny himself rather than settle for a quickie with someone he didn’t care about. But Heather – everything went to hell in a hand basket with her. All of his carefully won control – that he shouldn’t even have had to be using at his age. He wasn’t some hot headed youngster. He was in his mid thirties, for crying out loud. He knew that his age was no matter as soon as she twirled awkwardly back into his arms and he caught her tight up against him, knowing for once and for all that this tame dance was never going to be enough.

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Chapter V

H

eather was in a dream world. One where she still couldn’t dance, but it didn’t matter. He could dance well enough for the both of them. She was proud of herself though – she hadn’t stepped on him once. Yet. But the he tended to just sweep her off her feet with alarming regularity. It was probably self preservation at its best. She hoped he was wearing steel toed cowboy boots. But right now, with his body pressed to hers shoulder to knees, she could feel something that surprised and amazed her. He wanted her. There was no missing the abundant, undeniably male evidence that was currently pushing against her stomach rather insistently. Funny, he was so much bigger and stronger than she was, and he’d certainly already shown her that he wouldn’t hesitate to spank her if he thought it was necessary, yet she felt nothing but safe in his arms. Even doing something that was as unfamiliar to her as dancing. She knew he’d take care of her, in any way that was necessary.

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That dark head descended towards her with exaggerated slowness, as if he wanted to give her time enough to change her mind, but she knew she had to find out how his lips felt and tasted. They were better than she ever could have imagined. Everything about him was. Two very solid arms held her with every possible care as those lips found first the very tip of her nose, then the snubbed point of her chin, kissing their way up to finally claim her mouth, insistently, firmly, but not roughly. Heather felt as if she’d been struck by a thunderbolt. Every muscle in her body clenched tight and released as soon as he slanted her mouth open, especially those in that very delicate area between her legs, which began weeping as soon as those velvet lips of his met hers. Her arms had looped around his neck and they were standing stock still in the middle of the dance floor, smooching for all and sundry to see, before either of them realized what was happening, until everyone around them started clapping. Heather was a bright red, but she was gratified to see that he was, too, under that perpetual tan of his. Beau grabbed her hand and pulled her off the floor and out the door, to his waiting Cadillac. When they were back on the highway, he reached over and grabbed her hand, rubbing his rough thumb along her knuckles. “What’re you thinking over there? You look like a frightened rabbit, all scrunched into the corner.” She wasn’t about to tell him what she was thinking – which was that her panties were going to be in a terrible condition by the time he finally got her home. About how badly that area between her legs was throbbing, and how much she wished she had the nerve to take his hand and place it there, where perhaps it might ease the ache some, although she knew it would only add to her weakening condition.

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She wanted this man. She’d wanted him for a very long time, and, as she bit her lip in hesitation, she knew that she might not get another chance with him – to be this close to him. This might be the only date she ever had with him. A.J. was better, and beyond annoying Hope all the time dropping by the ranch, there was no reason for her to see him again, except perhaps if they bumped into each other in town, which wasn’t very likely. This was it. Heather had a feeling that this somewhat dull, average date wasn’t going to be anywhere near enough to warrant a second. After tonight, he’d be out of her life. For good. It was flittering through her mind more prevalently than she was really comfortable with that she should do something she’d never done before in her life and seize the day. Tonight would very possibly be the one and only time she’d ever in her life have the chance to fulfill her fantasies about him. Her hopes and dreams – the ones she kept tucked deep inside her – certainly weren’t going to enter into the equation. He was never going to propose to her and they were never going to end up married and living the happily ever after that Hope and A.J. were. And yet there were parts of her that, despite her attraction to this incredible man, were voting loudly against what she was contemplating. She wasn’t that type of woman – the easy kind, the kind who had casual sex. Never had been, never would be. She lived her little nun’s existence, working, eating and sleeping, and that was about it. That was all she wrote. Sex was anything but casual for her. In her experience, it wasn’t even easy, or comfortable. She’d certainly felt desire for other men – although he’d eclipsed all others for quite some time – but it had never carried over into the actual experience, and she couldn’t really even count that it might with him. But she wanted him. And, if his blatant reaction on the dance floor was any indication, he wanted her, too. Of course, her mind leapt on the fact that he might have been aroused by the surroundings and the mere fact that she was a female. Lord knew, - 169 BacksideOfLove.com

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she didn’t want to think of herself as sexually attractive. That would be stretching things a bit too far. It was then, when he reached out and squeezed her hand in the darkness, making that unusual comment about how small she’d made herself - even just noticing something like that at all – that she came to the conclusion, almost unemotionally, within her mind, that if he showed signs of wanting to make love with her, that she was going to do it. No matter how bad it was. At least she’d have some memories to hold onto and replay in her dotage about lying in his arms, even if all she would want to do is forget the rest of it. She relaxed in her seat and sat more normally in it, which, because of the width of his shoulders brought her very close to him. “This is a big car,” she said, wanting to bit her tongue when she realized how inane that sounded. He chuckled softly, the rich, deep sound wrapping around her heart on its way to settle in her loins, where nearly everything else he’d said or done the entire evening had already taken up residence. “Yeah, I don’t like to fold, spindle or mutilate myself enough to get into a tiny import or sports car, although a couple of my brothers do. I like to stretch out and be comfortable.” He glanced over at her. “You’re too tiny for this car. It swallows you up.” He brought the backs of her fingers to his lip, pressing a warm kiss there. “Your fingers are frozen! Are you okay?” He took his eyes of the road for a second and gave her a concerned look. “I’m fine.” So nervous I’m about to faint, she thought, but fine, nonetheless. Before she lost what little nerve she still possessed, she blurted out, “Can I ask you a question?” “Of course.” He seemed surprised that she would even ask. - 170 BacksideOfLove.com

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It was something that she’d wondered since Hope had made her confession about being spanked by A.J., and she hadn’t gotten a chance to ask her about. “Did your father spank your mother?” He gave her a sideways glance, and didn’t answer for a long moment. Heather was about to deliver a stumbling apology when he said, “Yes, he did. And I have never – until Hope and A.J. got together – seen as loving or committed a relationship as they had. That’s probably why I will spank my wife. I believe that there needs to be a head of a marriage, just like there is in a business or a country. One person that is – ultimately – responsible for everything.” Heather raised an eyebrow, saying doubtfully, “Ever heard that old saying about absolute power?” They were at a stop light, and he turned to consider her carefully, enough to make her fervently wish that the light would turn green. “My father was a benevolent dictator, I’ll grant you that. But I know that he did whatever he thought was best for the family, and I would hazard a guess that he and my mother very rarely ever truly disagreed about anything. She certainly was no shrinking violet of any kind. We used to have ring side seats – at the dinner table – to some of their more fervent ‘discussions’, as they used to call them.” He used her captive hand to very slowly draw her up against his side, not letting her keep the distance she seemed so intent on having between them. “My Dad liked to argue, and it didn’t matter to him what side of the argument you were on – he’d take the other. But he and my Mom represented a very united front to us – the kids. I don’t remember my mother ever deferring to my father, like some sort of servant or slave. Both of them would be appalled at that characterization of her. They were equal.” “But your father was a little more equal than your mother, apparently,” she commented derisively. - 171 BacksideOfLove.com

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She couldn’t see the look he gave her, but she knew from the intense feel of it that he wasn’t happy with it. “No. He never once ever touched my mother in anger, or left a bruise on her. They were disgustingly affectionate and loving with each other. My Mom was more than a strong enough person that if her husband had been beating her, she’d’ve gathered us up in a heartbeat and gone back to my Grandmother’s house – Grams would have welcomed her with open arms. So she certainly didn’t feel at all trapped. “They loved each other. And my father could no more have abused my mother than he could have cut off his right arm. He was the head of the house. That was the way it was back then, and I believe that that’s the way it’s supposed to be between a man and a woman. She had a tendency – especially from what I understand in the beginning, since she came from money into my father’s dirt poor family – to overdraw the checkbook and spend money that they didn’t have on things they didn’t need. He had to put his foot down about that kind of thing or the ranch would have ended up bankrupt. “But her name was the last on his lips when he died, and his on hers.” His speech had been so passionate and heartfelt; Heather was concerned that she’d insulted him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insinuate - ” “I know. But, especially since you’ve already been spanked, I think it’s only natural for you to wonder. I was lucky enough that my parents stayed together and were in a very loving relationship to the end.” Heather could see where this was going and was instantly alarmed that she hadn’t thought ahead to the potential questions he might as of her. “That must’ve been wonderful for you and your brothers – having such a great role model in your parents. Your father in particular, I imagine.” - 172 BacksideOfLove.com

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“It was. It was.” He was looking at her slantwise as he drove as if he was considering asking the reciprocal question about her parents, so she decided to preempt him and get it out onto the table. She knew she would probably be driving him away with every word she uttered, but so be it. She didn’t want to have to hide anything or worry that something was going to come out later – if there was a later between them – that would screw things up worse. “My own upbringing wasn’t anywhere near as idyllic. My mother was an alcoholic until about seven years ago. I grew up taking care of her as if I was the parent and she was the child – as well as mothering my little sister, to boot. By the time I was four or five, I knew how to make a good breakfast, what laundry detergent worked best to get out vomit stains, and knew how to fill out a check and forge my mom’s signature so that I could go buy groceries to keep us from starving.” She finished her brittle, almost rehearsed speech with what she considered to be the last, worst truth about her background. “I don’t know who my father was – neither does my sister, but they’re not likely the same man.” Beau listened to her carefully, gripping the steering wheel so hard it was a wonder he hadn’t bent it badly. The idea that she’d had to grow up like that made him angrier than he’d been in years. He knew that he was one of the few lucky ones – stable parents with a stable marriage who raised their kids with love and discipline and respect. But it really hit home with him when heard how badly she’d had it as a kid. Impulsively, he reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently in consideration of the rings she was wearing. If they’d been anywhere but in his car, he would have hugged her tight. But he settled for making them as close to a two headed driver as they could, considering the split seats, pulling her over as close to him as she could get.

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“I’m sorry you had to go through that, honey,” he growled, barely able to get it out through his anger, and hoping that it sounded more comforting to her than it did to him. He felt her shrug, and he was amazed at how calmly she answered him. “It made me who I am. It made me determined to make a better life for myself.” And she had. She was sought after in her field, and part of a practice with a state wide reputation. Hers was the first name A.J.’s doctors gave them. The only name, really. He didn’t know why, but he felt inordinately proud of that fact. That she’d picked herself up by her bootstraps and worked her way out of a horrible situation to become the smart, competent, capable young woman that she was. Later on in their relationship, he would tell her how proud he was of who she’d become. But for now, he settled for, “You are a truly amazing woman.” She snorted, and he knew he was going to have a hard row to hoe getting her to learn to accept compliments about herself gracefully. But he was most definitely up for it – in more ways than one. He gave her a look that, even in the dark, he knew she caught. A raised eye browed stare that even on their rather short acquaintance, she knew – from experience – was not a happy look. “That kind of attitude is going to get you another spanking, you know,” he drawled slowly, knowing how much it was going to rile her. “It will not! That’s something I’ve been meaning to - ” He’d pulled into the parking lot of her apartment and shut off the engine, just in time to interrupt her righteous indignation by taking her into his strong arms and pressing his lips down onto hers. It was a depressingly good method of distracting her from the rant she had been about to deliver. What was it about this man - 174 BacksideOfLove.com

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that had driven her to panting extremely from the moment she’d seen him the first time? And now, to be in his arms, feeling him gather her gently but firmly close against the hard, unyielding wall of his chest . . . ? She was lost. She’d been lost longer than she wanted to admit – even when he’d spanked her, she was still lost. One of his big hands came up to bury itself at the back of her head, holding her carefully, slanting his mouth across hers, his tongue delving slowly but insistently between her lips, sending a tingle directly from them to that rapidly warming place between her legs, which she clenched that much more tightly in response. A few minutes later, he leaned a bit away, cupping her cheek in his palm. “Relax, angel. I’m not going to jump you. I’m too old for that much groping in the front seat of a car.” Heather had to chuckle slightly at him characterizing himself as old. He was barely middle aged, if that, and could run circles around a lot of men who were younger than he was. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him – Beau would never end up with love handles. There were just too many physical things in his life to keep him from adding any weight at all – even with Hope and Etta’s wonderful meals. Stretching a little, Heather asked quietly, “Would you like to come in?” keeping her eyes locked on his, knowing that if he rejected her now, she would understand it but she wasn’t sure how she’d survive it. Instead, a broad, almost evil grin settled over his masculine features. “I thought you’d never ask.” In the house, she flitted about him, getting him a soda, making sure he was comfortable. Even asking him if he was hungry – not that she had much here to feed him if he was.

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Luckily, he leaned back on her comfortable, overstuffed – if old and somewhat worn – couch, patting his nonexistent belly. “No, thank you, Ma’am. I’m still stuffed from dinner.” She had to giggle at that as she joined him on the couch – if a bit of a polite distance away. “Ma’am?” “Sorry. Our Momma drilled manners into us. It was a slip of the tongue.” “It’s okay. It’s something I rarely hear anymore, anyway. More usually it’s ‘hey, you’!” He didn’t want to get into a political debate with her, not now. Later, he wouldn’t shy away from it. He’d inherited his love a good argument from his father, as long as it didn’t get stupid or nasty. But right now he had other things on both of his minds. Heather, however, was somewhat distracted as he took her back into his arms. It had been a long time since she’d had a man in her place, and she was looking at it with the eyes of a man who lived in a gorgeous, Lord knew how many roomed house that was always impeccably clean and beautifully – although not stuffily – furnished. When she compared her place to his, she knew her ten year old sofa and love seat, with the pink and green of the roses on a cream background, looked a bit shabby. She hoped he didn’t notice that one of the cushions on the sofa had a rip along the seam. The walls needed to be painted, the carpeting was worn, and she was beginning to think that this was not a good idea. Until he claimed her lips again, and she was truly lost. After giving her one of those soul shattering kisses that seemed to just fall right off his lips, he leaned back a little – although he still held her tightly to him, as if he thought that she was going to try to escape. “What are you thinking about? You seem distracted.” - 176 BacksideOfLove.com

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In truth, she couldn’t have remembered what she’d been perseverating over five seconds ago if her life had depended on it. Every sentient thought she owned flew out the window as soon as he kissed her. “I – I don’t remember.” His smile was just the slightest bit evil. “Good,” he groaned, his mouth settling over hers again confidently. All Heather wanted to do from that point on was surrender completely to him – she barely kept herself from simply melting against him. But a part of her remained somewhat reserved, simply because she’d been single so long that she really didn’t trust that he could possibly be as good a man as he seemed to be. She was half expected to have to fight him off in some way, and she knew she needed to have enough sense of self preservation to do that. But she had to hand it to him – he was smooth. No blind groping, no grabbing or mashing or clutching. The strong but gentle way he held her made her feel like a piece of delicate porcelain. Eventually, he turned her back to his front and braced himself in the corner of the couch, pressing his mouth to her ear. She didn’t know how he did it after the meal they’d just eaten, but his breath was sweet and clean. “I can feel that you’re still a little tense. Are you okay?” Damn, the man was almost too perceptive! But she was going to tell it like it was. She’d already decided that she was going to be completely – baldly honest with him. She didn’t want to play coy – she’d had her eye on him for too long to play games at this point. “Uh, it’s been a while . . .” She could hear him smile on a soft chuckle behind her, and his arms contracted just slightly where they lay around her. “I’m glad about that, frankly. I take it that you’re not seeing anyone else?” - 177 BacksideOfLove.com

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Heather laid her head back on his hard shoulder. “Not in a long time. I’ve just been too busy.” And too intrigued with him from afar, but she didn’t say that. His big right hand lay almost benignly on her flat stomach, and she picked it up absently, noting the size against her own. “Damn! No wonder it hurt when you spanked me! Your hands are huge!” Beau chuckled behind her, and she could feel it rumble through her back. “Spankings are supposed to hurt, or you won’t remember them, honey,” he said matter of factly. He caught her hand in his, lacing their fingers. “You’re nervous. You don’t have to be. I only bite when I’m asked, I promise.” “It’s not the biting I’m worried about – it’s the spanking,” she returned wryly. “Well, relax. If you haven’t done anything wrong, then I won’t spank you. And how could you possibly do something wrong in my arms?” He turned her gently, stretching himself out and laying her out on top of him. Heather wrapped her arms around his neck, as if she needed to hold on for dear life. “Honey, I would never let you fall,” he whispered. “You’re always safe with me. Always.” She let go of her death grip on his neck, then wasn’t sure exactly where to put her hands, and they landed on his bulging biceps. “There’s nowhere you can’t touch me, you know. I promise I won’t break.” He tightened his arms just a bit, flexing those muscles, and plastering her against him even more. “You, on the other hand . . .” he whispered as his lips sought the sensitive base of her neck, “I feel like I could crush you with a look.” Heather squirmed a little in protest of his characterization of her. “I’m strong! I’m not a hot house flower.” - 178 BacksideOfLove.com

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He caught her cheek in his palm and forced her to meet his eyes. “I know you’re not, Heather. You’ve had to be very strong in your life, and you’re in a profession where you have to be physically strong, too. But I just want you to know that you don’t have to be on the defensive with me, in any way.” It was too much of a temptation. His words had brought tears to her eyes. No man had recognized how guarded she was before, but he’d gone right to the heart of it – right to the heart of her. She had to kiss him then, and he let her. Heather was incredibly aware of the seething energy and power of the man beneath her. He was at least twice her size; she felt like a twig lying on top of a mountain. She ruffled her hand through his short cut sable hair, then down the side of his cheek, leaning forward to meld her mouth to his. And she had to give it to him, he didn’t take it as an excuse to grope her in the least. His palms claimed her back and rubbed gently, but he didn’t try to control her or the kiss in the least. It was one of the most sensual things she’d ever done. She loved the feel of him beneath her, all of that restrained, carefully leashed power. She wanted it for herself. All of it. All of him. For as long as she could have him.

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Chapter VI

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eather didn’t realize he was getting up until she was already in his arms. Without so much as the slightest strain, he stood there, holding her, looking down into her eyes with an intensity that caught her off guard. “I bet you won’t believe me when I say this, but I don’t usually do this on the first date. Hell, I don’t usually have the first date.” Heather laughed. She couldn’t believe that a man like this didn’t have a string of women in his past – hell, in his present! But what he was saying meshed well with what Hope had to say about her reticent brother in law. “But I want you. And I think you want me.” Her barely breathed “oh, yes!” sounded too vehement for Heather’s ears. She blushed brightly when he smiled. He was already moving towards the bedroom. “I’m going to love every inch of you, angel.” And he was as good as his word. Heather found herself set down in her bedroom, on her feet, with excruciating gentleness. “I’m going to undress you,” he - 180 BacksideOfLove.com

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whispered, as those big, rough hands began to unbutton the tiny pearls that marched down her front. Each movement of those hands threatened to brush his knuckles against her nipples, which were already peaked and eager for his touch – any possible kind of touch from him at all. Just the thought of his fingers there, or, God forbid, his mouth – she knew that she would simply faint dead away. When he’d hung the shirt neatly on the hook on the back of her bedroom door without once taking his eyes off of her, he kissed her again, as if they’d been separated for years and he was starving for her. He didn’t reach around and undo the back clasp of her bra while he was kissing her. He concentrated on the kiss, making sure she felt it to the tips of her toes. Then he pulled back, slowly, and stood in front of her, trailing his hands down from her face onto her shoulders, hooking his thick fingers beneath the delicate straps of her lacy bra and tugging them down her arms and leaving them there. He bent down and pressed his lips to her collarbone, sighing slightly against her flesh. “You smell wonderful.” Foolishly, the first thought that came into her head was that she couldn’t remember what perfume she’d put on. But then he leaned back a little and met her eyes as his hands very gently reached into her bra and cupped her breasts, watching the way her eyelids drifted closed as her proud, tight little nipples drilled into his palms. She was incredible. It seemed that everything he did to her made her sigh and groan. He loved her unfettered, unselfconscious responsiveness – it made him want to do some very shocking things to her, just to hear them become screams of pleasure. Before she knew it, the bra had been easily disposed of, falling unheeded to the floor. She didn’t need it, anyway. She had - 181 BacksideOfLove.com

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those wonderful, careful hands of his, that held her as if she would fall apart in front of his eyes if he so much as moved. But he moved anyway, dragging rough fingertips down the slight slope of her breasts, both at the same time, until he reached those mauve tilted nipples of hers that were fairly begging for his attention and contracted the tips of his fingers on those eager buds, squeezing carefully, watching her expressive face for every possible nuance of reaction to what he was doing to her. And what she did was immediately start to dance, as if he was hurting her. But he was watching her closely enough that he knew that her itchy feet weren’t because of pain. One strong hand reached behind the curtain of that gorgeous red blonde hair, and cupped the back of her head, and she immediately went still, her only sign of reaction to what he was doing to her was the rapid rise of those beautiful, surprisingly full breasts beneath his hands. “You are gorgeous,” he breathed, and he meant every word of it. Her blush was charming. So few woman did any more. Heck, some of the women he’d dated treated him more as a conquest, like some sort of a gigolo, than a date. “I am not,” she protested between hot, heavy breaths. He tweaked those nipples a little harder than he had been and raised his eyebrow as he looked down at her somewhat darkly. “Don’t you disagree with me about that, Miss Dennison, or you’ll find yourself back over my lap much sooner than you’d prefer, I’m sure.” She stuck her tongue out at him impudently, and he made as if to cover that tantalizing tongue with his own mouth, but as he leaned forward, he veered away from her mouth and down to her right nipple, suckling it into his mouth with one powerful motion that nearly robbed her of the ability to support herself. - 182 BacksideOfLove.com

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He noted that she was writhing a little, as if she was trying to get away. “Beau, Beau, no, I - ” He stopped immediately, as soon as he heard the word “no,” kissing his way back up to her lips. “Relax, honey. Relax. I won’t hurt you, I promise.” Heather gave him a weak smile. “I’m not worried about that!” she exclaimed, not realizing just what she was confessing to him. “I think I’m going to like it way too much – I’m feeling faint as it is, and you’ve really barely touched me.” He smiled like a lion grinning at his dinner. “Well, we can take care of that.” The next thing she knew, she was on her back on her big but not really big enough for him queen sized bed. “We wouldn’t want you fainting and hitting your head or anything,” he continued by way of explanation as his hands busied themselves ridding her of her skirt, hose and panties in record time. Heather hadn’t realized just how vulnerable she was going to feel lying naked next to him when he was fully clothed. It was then that she knew she should have been disrobing him while he was doing the same to her. But when she reached up to try to unbutton his shirt, he caught her hand. “Not yet, angel. I don’t want this to be over that quickly,” he said hoarsely. He stretched himself out next to her, leaning on his elbow and looking down into her face – but she was lying there looking back at him with definite apprehension in her eyes. “What is it?” he asked, picking up her hand and bringing the back of it to his lips. Do you not want to do this?” She appreciated the offer, but she could also fee just how involved he was – it was impossible to miss, even fully clothed he was pressing insistently against her side. And besides, she did - 183 BacksideOfLove.com

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want to do this –she just had to get over her nerves! “No, I do – I do! I just . . . it’s just been a really . . . long . . . time . . .” A smile softened his face. “I have to admit that I’m kinda glad about that,” he admitted, kissing her on the forehead. “Is there anything I can do to help you relax?” He pressed butterfly kissed all over her face, making her not want to answer until he was done. “Well, that’s a nice start,” she breathed, craning up to kiss him. Beau really didn’t like how nervous she seemed to be – it bordered on real fear, and he would do pretty much anything within his power to wipe that look off her face. So he took it as slowly as a man in his condition could. It took superhuman strength, but he kept his own desires firmly under control, and set about coaxing hers more to the forefront, so that they would overwhelm her fear. Beau thought it was a good sign that whenever or wherever he touched her, she moaned and sighed and writhed. He kept his touch very soft and hopefully none threatening as he traced the contours of her beautiful body with his fingertips, brailing her as if he was blind, but never taking his eyes off her face, trying to read her level of comfort and pinpoint the moment when her desire overcame her apprehension. Luckily, it wasn’t long before she made it known that he was driving her crazy by continuing to tease and touch her so lightly, only occasionally and very gently pinching those pulsingly erect nipples even though she groaned every time he came anywhere near them. Then, when he let his hand slip down her flank and over her silky hip to lie just above the area he ached to delve into and capture with several of his appendages, he paused just for a moment, trying to make sure that this wasn’t going too far too fast for her. But the fear he’d seen was gone, and he was heartily glad of it. Whatever had caused her nerves – whether it had just been a - 184 BacksideOfLove.com

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long time as she’d said or something more than that, he knew that he could never stand to see that look on her face again. And it made him angry about who or what had put it there in the first place. But this was not the time for his anger. That big hand’s descent into her private area was accomplished at an incredibly slow pace, as if he was just waiting for her to scream and run away or something. Finally, Heather, who literally didn’t think that she could stand it any longer, arched her hips up just enough that he ended up cupping her gently, which was not quite what she wanted but was close enough for right now. His middle finger slipped effortlessly between lips that had already become slick with her juices. That moisture surprised and delighted him, though, and he found himself gathering just a bit more of it on the end of his finger to lavish it on that already prominent bud. Her moan when his finger finally brushed over that incredibly sensitive spot was the most guttural sound she’d ever made in her life – up to that point. She could see the slight smile it produced on his face, too, but by then he’d begun moving that finger, and could think of very little else beyond what was happening here, between the two of them, on her frilly pink and green coverlet. The feminine surroundings should have made him look somewhat effeminate, but Heather sincerely doubted that there was much that could put a dent in his masculinity. Suddenly, as he brought her closer and closer to that violent pleasure she knew awaited her, she reached up and touched his still clad chest, trying to touch his flesh and finding herself thwarted by the buttons of his shirt. That wondrous hand of his left her then, aching and writhing as she was, to relieve himself of that bothersome shirt. - 185 BacksideOfLove.com

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When he turned back to her, his chest was bare, and she settled her hand on him as gently as he’d touched her. It soothed part of the ache he’d created in her, but nowhere near all of it. As his finger found its home again, lying directly over that hard nub of hers, drawing excruciatingly slow circles up and around and over it, his head descended to capture her nipple and begin to suckle. Heather thought that she was going to explode into a thousand pieces right there. No one had been able to make her feel like this. No one she’d been with had had any interest in much beyond getting their own rocks off. She should have known that Beau would be different. He was proving himself to be as much of a gentleman in bed as he was out of it. “Beau, oh, I - ” she couldn’t even finish the sentence. What he was doing to her was driving every thought out of her body except that he had to continue doing what he was doing. “You are absolutely gorgeous like this, angel,” he murmured against her breast. “I want to watch you explode in my arms.” He leaned back on his arm and proceeded to do just that. Heather didn’t know which way was up – her entire body was one large throbbing nerve, and the idea that he was just going to watch her as she came apart in his arms didn’t dampen those rampant feelings at all. In fact, she was alarmed to find that it only added another delicious layer to what was already an almost unbearable pleasure.

What was worse, though, was that he began to talk to her, his low, husky tone tickling her brain and stroking her body right along with his finger. “Relax, honey, and just let it happen. I’m - 186 BacksideOfLove.com

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right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be right here to hold you, right here to watch you while you fly . . .” That finger – insistent as it was – dipped back down to get a bit more of the ample moisture she was producing, faithfully bringing it back up to where it could do him the most good. As he slid over her again and again, every muscle in Heather’s body began to tighten. She groped and grasped for something to hold on while being buffeted wildly by the storm he was creating within her. She found his arm, just above his elbow, and grabbed a hold of it, unable to stop herself from arching and writhing and rubbing against the hand that was wreaking havoc on her senses, on her body, on her world. “No, Beau, I – can’t - ” He had to decide in that split second whether she really meant for him to stop. But he really didn’t think that she meant for him to. It was probably just some sort of past fear rearing its ugly head. He soothed her as best he could, but didn’t stop stroking her firmly, and just a bit more quickly. “That’s it, darlin’. That’s it. Let yourself go. You’re safe. I’ll catch you.” It was those thoughts that seeped into her brain and loosened the tight hold she’d retained on herself and set her free. Her full throated scream said it all. Beau let it start and rise a bit, then covered her mouth with his in the interests of not disturbing the peace, kissing her long and deep and drinking in those pleasurably anguished cries, until they’d trickled down to nothing more than very heavy breathing. Heather couldn’t think. Her vision was blurred, and she felt as if her skin was too tight to stand living in, and her body still throbbed and contracted as his arms closed around her and he hugged her tightly to him. It took an effort for her to clear her head enough to realize how much he surprised her. Most men she’d known in the past - 187 BacksideOfLove.com

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would never have bothered themselves with her pleasure, and, if they had, they’d be expecting to get some of their own back within seconds of her completion. They certainly wouldn’t be contentedly holding her as she came back down to Earth. She knew that the he was still waiting, that his body was still more than ready to find its own end. But he wasn’t making any moves to act on that need. Instead, he was putting her first, above himself and his desires. For that unbelievably tender and selfless act, Heather lifted her head and kissed him, full on in the most sensual manner she could, letting her tongue gently spar with his, and suckling gently at his lower lip. She could feel the shudders that racked his body, yet he seemed to be waiting for some kind of go ahead from her. She’d never whispered the words before, but she did so now, with a full heart. “Make love to me, Beau.” He hesitated just a split second, considering her as closely as he had throughout, as if trying to judge how sincere she was, then shucked out of his pants remarkably calmly, and returned to lie beside her, whispering urgently, “I wish I could just lie back and let you touch me. I’d love to feel those delicate fingers of yours on me.” He brought her right hand to his lips and kissed it loudly. “But I don’t think I would live through that.” His eyes searched hers. “Are you all right?” Her broad but almost sleepy smile was more than enough answer for him. And that awful apprehension was gone from her eyes. “I’m wonderful, thanks to you.” He wanted to smile back at her, but the raw truth was that he couldn’t. Beau leaned towards her, slowly and deliberately insinuating himself between her legs, reaching down to catch the back of her knees and hook them over his well planted arms, holding her open for his imminent invasion, which he began immediately. - 188 BacksideOfLove.com

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She hadn’t been kidding when she’d said it had been a long time. She might as well have been a virgin, she was so tight, and he didn’t think he was going to live through it. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was going to be a fight to last long enough to become fully seated within her. And he was right. His guttural moans the entire time he was linking their bodies made Heather reach up and try to wrap her arms around him, but they wouldn’t go. He was much too broad. So she settled for putting her hands on his shoulders, spreading them there, encouraging him, soothing somewhat, she hoped. It hadn’t been easy for her to accept him into her body, despite the copious amounts of slickness her body was producing, and how obviously careful he was trying to be, despite the fact that she could feel how tense he was having to hold himself in order not to just drive into her. But he didn’t take any time once he’d filled her completely – he couldn’t. His body wouldn’t allow it. He let her legs go and, instead, leaned down and bracketed her face with his big palms as he thrust himself into her, deep and hard, but not nearly as long as he wanted to. Beau had wanted to bring her along with him, to pleasure her again at least one more time before allowing his own completion. There was no way he’d be able to do that. He’d known it the moment he’d begun to claim her. She was more potent in his veins than any aphrodisiac on the planet, and he found himself completely unable to tame the almost furious way he drove into her. She didn’t shrink from him, however, as he might have expected, but rather seemed to want to comfort him somehow, reaching up tentatively to put her hands on him. Anywhere she touching him burned, but it just added to the already stoked fire that was burning within him.

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In an ignominiously short amount of time, he reared back his head and absolutely roared his pleasure, his body stiffening in a posture that appeared more like one of agony rather than ecstasy, but then he collapsed on top of her, and all Heather could think about was how to get her next breath. Beau was mindless with the paradise he’d found in her arms, but not so much that he didn’t realize that he could put her into respiratory distress if he remained on top of her much longer, so he moved slightly to the side, but kept a hand on her waist, keeping her tight up against him, and remaining silent for a while, just because he was trying to get his breathing under control. She was wiggling next to him, and he opened one eye lazily, just to make sure she wasn’t trying to get away, watching her maneuver herself on her side, facing him. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a small feminine hand cupped him carefully, and he couldn’t help it. His hips jerked in automatic response, as if he was trying to coerce her into something that his body couldn’t even consider doing at this point. “What are you doing down there?” he asked, his voice rough from lack of breath. “Relax, cowboy. I’m just holding you.” He snorted softly. “Just as long as you aren’t having unrealistic expectations, girl. I’m good for at least another go around or two, maybe, considering it’s you, but I’m not eighteen any more.” Heather chuckled, warmed by his offhand compliment. This was nice, lying here intimately in the darkness. Unlike her grantedly few other lovers, he wasn’t already up and pulling on his pants, as if he’d gotten what he’d wanted from her and couldn’t wait to get away. “I would never expect more from you thank you wanted to give me.” - 190 BacksideOfLove.com

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Beau heard the lonely, backbone of truth in those words, knowing they covered more than just their current position. But he reached out and looped his arm around her waist, crushing her hand between them. “Believe me, honey, it’s not a matter of wanting,” he drawled before kissing her deeply then drawing away just enough that he could complete his thought, “it’s purely a matter of ability. Or rather the lack thereof at my advanced age.” “Yeah, right, grandpa. Puh-leeze.” “Well, if I’d met you when I was seventeen, woman - ” “You’da been thrown in jail for what you just did to me – when you were seventeen I was thirteen.” He sighed and gave her a depressingly good imitation of that look he’d used before he’d spanked her. “Don’t be getting ornery, woman. This is not a time to be nit picking.” “Yes, Sir.” There went that eyebrow again, full of doubt this time. “Why does your ‘yes, Sir’ worry me?” “I don’t know. Why does it?” He shifted just a bit, tucking her head against his chest. “Probably because you’re not the type who backs down easily, and it makes me nervous when you do.” The idea of her making him nervous seemed ridiculous to Heather, but she held her breath. “Is that good, or bad?” “It’s good, honey. It’s good,” he hugged her tight. “I don’t want a welcome mat. And I don’t want someone that I have to fight with all the time. I think you and I are a nice mix, so far.” She nodded vigorously. “Me, too.” - 191 BacksideOfLove.com

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“It’s kind of interesting that neither of us do this, and yet we’ve ended up in bed together on our first date.” Heather wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. I don’t know that we shouldn’t back off and get to know each other better for a while, though.” She heard his comically impatient sigh. “Why did I know you were going to say that?” “Well, don’t you think it’s a good idea? So we can see if we’re compatible without all the sex getting in the way?” “Sex never gets in the way, darlin’. It’s the icing on the cake. It’s the cream in the Twinkie. It’s the - ” “I get it, I get it.” He stretched and groaned loudly. “But if you think that we should pull back a bit physically, I suppose I’ll live.” His tone of voice told her that he might indeed live, but he wasn’t gonna be happy about it. “I think it would be the mature, adult thing to do. Just for a while.” “A short while,” Beau asserted, and Heather nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I’m not talking years here.” He growled back, “You’d better not be talking months, either, honey. I know I can’t wait that long to have you again.” His hands roamed freely over her body, reaching down to cup her bottom confidently. Contrary to what he’d said, she could feel him stirring against her palm. “Well, we’ll see.”

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The hands that had been gently squeezing her bottom switched instantly to patting it firmly. “Yes, we most definitely will.” Heather did not like that very blatant reminder of one of the less wonderful aspects of being involved with Beau, and one she preferred not to spend much time contemplating. “I didn’t get a chance to comfort you after the spanking, but the next time I spank you – whenever it is, I’m going to take you directly to bed, so that I can make it all better in the best way I know how.” His threatened promise did unwanted things to both her heartbeat and her most private area, making both leap erratically, and in ways she didn’t want them to. But Beau managed to make her forget her indignation – several more times that evening. Loudly. Hotly. Passionately. Until, when he left her – slowly, reluctantly - that morning, she was completely wrung out and absolutely stone drunk happy.

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Chapter VII

H

eather was exhausted. There was just no way around it. She stumbled up the steps to her apartment, dragging her gym bag – as well as her butt – behind her, barely making it inside before she collapsed – gingerly - on the couch, her arm over her eyes as if to shield herself from the demands of the world. Of course, the phone jangled loudly in her ear at just the point where she was drifting off to sleep. Sighing heavily, she didn’t bother to get up, just slapped her hand down on the end table where she knew the phone was until her hand encountered it. “Yeah, what?” The deep masculine rumble that greeted her ears had her sitting up immediately, especially considering what he’d done to her last night. She still hadn’t decided whether or not she was going to forgive him. “Is that any way to answer your phone?” “I’ll answer my phone any damned way I want to, thank you very much,” she snapped back at him, realizing it was probably - 194 BacksideOfLove.com

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going to get her into just that much more trouble, but not caring one whit at this point. Heather could just picture him, leaning back in his big leather chair in his office, one heavy black eyebrow raised at her choice of words, which he was sure to call her on. “Watch your language, Heather Antoinette,” he warned, sending an unwelcome chill up her spine that was directly opposite from the heat his tone caused in areas of her person that it seemed only he could address. “I can imagine that you’re still sitting a bit carefully after last night . . .” “You mean you’re hoping I’m sitting carefully,” she corrected sarcastically, turning on her side and cursing him in her head for always being so damned right. “Well, if you’re not, then I didn’t do a good enough job, did I? Spankings aren’t meant to go away that quickly – at least mine aren’t, anyway.” His voice lowered another octave or so, so that it was practically just a vibration into her ear, the words translating themselves into embarrassingly hardened nipples and an insistent ache between her legs. “You most certainly did!” Her mother had never paid any attention to her language at all, and she hadn’t paid enough attention to Beau’s while they had been dating – which was extremely steadily since they’d first come together that night. But she’d learned the hard way that he didn’t tolerate bad language in anyone. Over the past few weeks – nearly two months - they had become darned near inseparable. He was taking her out or inviting her over to the big house at least once or twice a week, and definitely every weekend night. It was harder for her to go out on weeknights, he knew, because she needed a solid nine or ten hours of sleep every night, due to the sheer physicality of what she did for a living. - 195 BacksideOfLove.com

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Sometimes he took her out for a quick bite, and sometimes he surprised her. He’d taken to arriving at her office, and she never knew what to expect when she saw him. The crew she worked with loved him, and how romantic and spontaneous he was. Even the guys liked him. One Friday night he had arrived in a tux, candy and roses in hand, and had whisked her off in a limo to the most romantic restaurant in town. Another Wednesday night, he’d arrived in jeans, looking like he’d just stepped off the range – which he had – with Chinese takeout in his hand. All of her favorites – beef fried rice, egg rolls, hot and sour soup, and spicy kung pao chicken, from her favorite little take out joint. They’d gone home to her place – after enduring the barbs and giggles from everyone, who found the whole situation extremely amusing, including the patients – and gone home to her place, where he proceeded to make himself completely comfortable. He didn’t let her do anything the entire evening. He plated her food and brought it to her, along with her favorite Diet Coke, got seconds for her, and generally pampered her all evening. Beau suggested that after dinner she get into her pajamas, which she didn’t usually do so early in the evening, but when he said it, it sounded like heaven. She had laundry sitting on one of the dining room chairs, and he did it, despite her protests that he didn’t need to. It looked very strange to see this big strong man folding her tiny, lacy unmentionables, but he did it, and he even braved her room and put them in the right drawers, too. This, she could get used to! And when she had been sufficiently relaxed by the abundance of starchy foods and cozy surroundings, he made her sit in front of him and he massaged every inch of her that he could get to – and some she shouldn’t have let him, although he was being and had continued to be since they’d decided to cool it a little physically, a perfect gentleman. Almost too perfect. - 196 BacksideOfLove.com

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And despite the fact that he occasionally threatened her with a spanking, and it worked. In memory of what had happened before and never letting that happen again, she almost always altered her behavior when he gave her that dominant look, although she didn’t go quietly. He’d put her to bed that night as if she was his child rather than his girlfriend, tucking her in and kissing her on the forehead, then, unable to resist, he gave her a real kiss on the lips, groaning when he rose to go home to his own cold, empty bed. He’d taken her out and about the big ranch, the one that the brothers owned collectively but he and A.J. headed, and also to the smaller spread he owned not far away. He was really going to be A.J. and Hope’s neighbor, but the amount of land in the two spreads kept them miles apart. He’d winked at her when he’d said that, saying something rotten about how then no one would be able to hear her yelling when he spanked her. She’d frowned deeply back at him, especially since she’d been thinking much the same thing, even taking it that one step further: they wouldn’t be able to hear Hope getting it from her husband, either. It seemed the spanking gene ran in the family. He showed her the house – well, the parts of it he felt he could show her. He was almost over protective, and wouldn’t let her go near where he was constructing. The house had needed to be pretty much gutted, and he was redoing it with incredible attention to detail. It was going to be the most solid house in the state by the time he was done with it, which was likely to be quite some time. It was a hobby, something he did for the love of it, when he wanted to. He wasn’t in any hurry. It was a gorgeous place. A house was the one goal that Heather hadn’t achieved for herself yet. She and her mother, of course, had always lived in apartments, and how nice the place was was entirely dependent on how sober her mother was, which meant that she generally grew up in the closest thing to a tenement - 197 BacksideOfLove.com

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Haverhill had. She’d craved a place of her own since she could remember, and intended to have one – eventually. But it would never be like this. This was a house that deserved to be filled with children, like the big house had been at one time – and probably would be again, if A.J. and Hope had anything to say about it. He’d showed her the floor plans – the original and then the one that showed the changes he was making. It was a big ranch house that he was unabashedly adding on to, expanding the living room, the den, and the master bedroom into a master bedroom suite, which would come complete with a huge Jacuzzi tub and separate shower stall. When he was finished updating it, would have the best insulation available, central air and vacuum, sky lights in the kitchen, den, living room and master bedroom. Heather was impressed. She’d done a lot of thinking and dreaming about what she wanted in a house – although her ideas were on a much smaller scale – and she made a few suggestions to him, such as the fact that he ought to have ceiling fans in nearly every room, and she suggested some changes in where he was planning to put the appliances in the kitchen. Her ideas earned her a hard hug and a kiss that promised much more when they were alone at her place. He had decided that that night she should be subjected to a dinner with the family. The whole family. Everyone was attending. They’d all seen Heather around the house when A.J. was recovering, but she was very much in “professional mode” and none of them – including Beau – had really had a chance to get to know her. So she was trying to gird her loins. It would certainly be a different experience from what she’d grown up with – most of her childhood, she ate milk and cereal with her sister for dinner. If they had milk or cereal available. If not, she scrounged the best she could for the two of them. - 198 BacksideOfLove.com

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But she’d heard rumors and innuendo about those dinners, from both Beau and Hope, but she hoped they were just trying to scare her. It couldn’t really be that bad, could it? She’d been worried about it – more so than she would ever consider letting on to Beau. But all five of those huge, dominant men around a dinner table, with the only estrogen contingent being herself and Hope? They were going to get buried. Heather had had a lot of impetus for the words she’d chosen that had gotten her into trouble with him. She’d been helping him with the horses they’d used to get to his place and back, grooming Nilla, the palomino mare he’d had her riding while he took care of his own big sorrel gelding. But Nilla had shifted unexpectedly while Heather was curry combing her, and her back hoof had clipped Heather’s right foot. The sturdy leather boots she’d borrowed from Hope had probably saved her from actually having anything broken, but it didn’t save her from her potty mouth, which had developed from working in a male dominated profession. When she wanted to, she could make a sailor blush, but what she’d actually done was make Beau blush as she hobbled over to a nearby bench. Beau was immediately at her side, removing the boot over her protests. The none of her toes were blackening or swelling, which he knew from unfortunate experience would happen almost immediately if they were broken. Wanting to err on the cautious side, as always with her, he redressed her foot, easing the boot on carefully, figuring it could only help her. She was still spewing the occasional epithet, until he leveled that gaze on her. “What?” “You’re going to get a spanking for that language, Heather. I don’t ever want to hear anything like that coming out of your mouth again.”

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“I just got stepped on by a f - ” she’d been about to use a word she knew he wouldn’t like, but that expression on his face told her she’d better reconsider. “friggin’,” she accented the word with as much sarcasm as she could, “horse and my toes are probably broken, yet you want me to say ‘oh my heavens, horsie, you oughtn’t have done that to me!’” She could see that little muscle ticcing away at the side of his jaw that meant that he was clenching his teeth because he was angry. “I don’t care what you say, Heather. As long as it’s not a vulgarity.” Heather signed loudly. “Son of a - ” His eyebrow went up in warning. “Gun,” she finished lamely, in more ways than one. He helped her up and remained at her side as she took a few tentative steps, but she wasn’t limping at all. Even so, Beau sent her up to the house to sit. He’d take care of their mounts himself. Heather made her way back to the big house, where Hope greeted her in the kitchen with open arms, but noticed how her friend’s face was looking somewhat pinched. “What’s wrong? Did you not have fun on the ride?” Hoping she wouldn’t have to talk about what had just transpired between herself and Beau, Heather asked quietly over the hubbub in the room, “Can I use your room to change?” Hope nodded and put down the wooden spoon she’d been using to stir the gravy, and fend her starving brothers in law off of it. It was amazing how well as swift rap to the knuckles worked on them. She followed Heather to the master suite she shared with A.J., and handed her the clothes and shoes Heather’d come there in, which were much nicer – and nicer smelling – than the ones she’d worn on the ride. “So what’s wrong?” Hope asked as she sat on the end of the bed while Heather changed in the big bathroom. - 200 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Uh, nothing. Why would you think something’s wrong?” “Because you look like someone just told you - ” she was going to say something innocuous, but she had a flash of intuition and somehow realized exactly what had happened. “ – that you’re going to get spanked.” “Hey! How’d you know that?!” came the indignant holler from the other room. Hope’s face twisted into a self satisfied grin. She was always happy to hear about a spanking when it wasn’t going to be hers. “I don’t know. It just came to me.” She shrugged her shoulders, not that Heather could see it. “You probably look a lot like I do when A.J. tells me that.” Heather came into the room carrying her shoes and sox under one arm, still buttoning her fly. “Lovely. What is it with the men in this family and spanking, anyway? I really like Beau - ” “Love Beau,” Hope corrected smugly. “Yeah, well, love Beau, but I could certainly do without that particular aspect of him.” She plopped down next to Hope and began putting her sox and shoes on after carefully inspecting her foot, which still looked completely normal. “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I could do without the pain of a spanking, yes, but it’s . . . it’s so intimate. And it goes so far beyond the usual level of marital intimacy. I mean, it’s . . .” “You like it!” Heather accused. Hope was vehement. “No. I do not like getting spanked. At all. The man is too damned strong – has too much upper body strength, and he does too good a job, as far as I’m concerned. I do not like getting spanked.” “I sense a ‘but’ coming on . . .” - 201 BacksideOfLove.com

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“But it’s lovely to be so looked after. He pays more attention to me than anyone ever in my life. He watches over me, and I like that. Plus, the ‘after spanking’ sex is incredible – not that the non ‘after sex’ spanking is any too bad either. Being a disciplined wife just . . . takes the relationship to another level. I get things from him that most women don’t get from their men. He may spank me, but he still treats me a thousand times better than most vanilla husbands treat their wives.” Heather wrinkled her nose at Hope’s choice of words. “Vanilla?” “Plainer. Man on top get it over with quick, to quote George Carlin.” “Hope!” Heather blushed furiously where she was brushing her hair in front of the big tri fold mirror on Hope’s dresser. “Oh, puh-leeze. They’re both men – more than that, they’re both Thornton men, which means they have twice the testosterone as normal men, I swear. They’re bigger, they’re more dominant, and they’re sexier than any other men on Earth.” “Well . . .” Heather wasn’t in a hurry to admit anything sexual. She knew it would make her head just explode from blushing. “What’d you do to get spanked?” Hope asked, looking at her friend critically. “And how is it that you don’t look like you’ve cried, and you can sit down so easily?” Heather snorted. “Do you think he spanked me while we were in the barn?” “Or out on the range, or at his house . . . A.J.’s spanked me in the barn more than once. I’m always not doing something the way he wants it done.”

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“He most certainly did not spank me while we were out. But Nilla stepped on me – kind of a glancing blow – and I said some . . . uh . . . words that I oughtn’t.” She felt strange confessing such a thing to Hope. It was almost too juvenile a thing to say – that she was going to get a spanking because she’d used bad words. But Hope’s reaction made her feel a lot better. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Been there, done that. Still doing that, although I’m getting better.” She lead the way out of the room, turning off the light behind them as they started down the hall towards a dinner that should be pretty much ready by now. “Until I got involved with A.J., I never realized just how lousy my language had become. And he’s really obnoxious about it. The whole first month we were married, I could barely sit down because of one thing or another – usually it was my gutter mouth, as he calls it.” Hope reflexively reached back and rubbed her bottom, as if A.J. had just had a go at it. The dinner was a riot. Almost literally. Heather had never seen so much food go so quickly in all her life. It was as if Hope cooked a holiday dinner at every meal. Of course, not all of the brothers still lived there, but still. The table had nearly groaned from the weight of all of the dishes that adorned it, and by the end they had all but been licked clean. The insults and in jokes flew as furiously as the food did. No subject seemed to be off limits when the brothers got together – except explicit sexual conversation, of course. The brothers all seemed to enjoy themselves and each other enormously. She had to say she admired Hope, because the other woman didn’t seem to let any of them run roughshod over her, conversationally speaking. There wasn’t a Thornton at the table who would ever be rough with a woman in any sense of the word. Hope joined right in there, insulting here, complimenting there, and making free with her spoon, firmly whacking the back of any masculine hand that decided to reach when it should have asked. - 203 BacksideOfLove.com

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Heather couldn’t believe she dared to do that. She found herself somewhat overwhelmed by the loudness, at least until Beau reached over and linked his hand with hers on the table, leaning down to give her a light smooch as everyone finished up their meal. “None of that, you two. Get a room.” Cade winked audaciously at Heather when she caught his eye. “My Lord, she blushes brighter than you do, hon,” A.J. drawled, patting his wife’s hand and sounding disconcertingly like his younger brother. “Boys, mind your manners,” Hope threatened, brandishing her spoon. “I, for one, like having another woman at the table, since Etta’s reduced her hours and isn’t eating here any more. Gives me another voice of reason in this den of iniquity.” The two women locked eyes and Heather nodded bravely in agreement, repeating quietly, “Iniquity.” For some reason, that completely cracked up everyone at the table. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was that she’d done, but she did feel a bit less lost than she had. Hope had gotten up to clear the plates, but A.J. gave her a look that Heather was horrified to recognize, and she immediately sat back down and Eric and Dunn got up to do it instead, returning with the dessert, a homemade apple crisp, fresh from the oven, with Ben and Jerry’s World’s Best vanilla ice cream, caramel sauce, and homemade whipped cream. It was a triumphant cap to an incredible meal of beef Wellington, fresh corn on the cob right off the stalk, roasted garlic and onion smashed potatoes, and homemade Parker House rolls, served with whipped honey butter. As she bit into the crunchy, sweet tart crisp, Heather was deciding that she needed to get cooking lessons from Hope as soon as possible, if she ever hoped to satisfy Beau anywhere outside of the bedroom.

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Despite the fact that Heather was practically making up excuses for them to stay longer, Beau had expertly extracted them from the bosom of his family and drove them back to her place, where he proceeded to occupy her couch immediately. Since they’d been intimate, he didn’t so much as hesitate, pushing her pants and panties down to the backs of her knees and tipping her over his lap and administering a severely sound spanking that reduced her to tears in a matter of minutes. None of her protests, none of the tentative interference she’d tried as he’d unbuttoned her jeans, none of her, “Beau, no! You can’t do this to me! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again”s, helped her in the least. As a matter of fact, he stopped at the end of the spanking, while she was sobbing loudly and trying to catch her breath, and it would have been over at that point if she hadn’t poked her hands where they didn’t belong and tried to stop him from doing what he needed to do. As a result, she got twenty more swats that were delivered very slowly and extremely deliberately, so that she felt each, individual one before he went on to the next. Afterwards, he held her in his arms and cuddled her. Heather knew that with one word from him he would have totally forsaken their “let’s not be physical again until we get to know each other a little better” pact, and although she was feeling very much like she wanted to chuck that ridiculous notion herself, surprisingly, she just couldn’t. She really did think that they needed to spend some time together without the sex clouding things. But there was no prohibition against necking and petty, thankfully, which they proceeded to do until the both of them were nearly crazy with it. Her seared bottom had been sitting atop his rampant, jean covered hard on since he’d finally let her up from the spanking. Finally, neither of them could take it any longer, and she stood up, wiping her overly sensitive lips nervously so that he couldn’t see how her hand was shaking. - 205 BacksideOfLove.com

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Their kisses as they parted at the door nearly set fire to the curtain on the door, and even as he left he was still patting her bottom, and she was still squealing and throbbing like a teenager. His phone call this evening – the day after that awful spanking – was entirely expected. If he wasn’t already with her – which wasn’t always possible – he called her, usually planning it for just as she was getting into bed. “How’re your toes?” “They’re fine. No damage done – except to my butt,” she added in a whiney tone. “Uh huh. I’m not particularly worried. That’s what your butt was made for . . .among other things.” Heather snickered lightly, but it was overcome by a yawn. “How are you feeling?” She’d been so tired lately that he was becoming concerned about her. It wasn’t like Heather to be exhausted all of the time. She didn’t answer immediately, knowing that, if she even tried not to lie but just to pad the truth a bit, he’d know. Somehow, he’d know. Beau didn’t hesitate a second. “Make an appointment with your doctor, Heather. I don’t like this one bit.” She recognized that tone. He’d used it on her enough since they’d started dating. Heck, since before they started dating. On a big sigh that let him know she wasn’t any too happy to have to do this, she said, “Yeah, fine.” “Tomorrow. And call me and tell me when it’s for. I’ll come with you.” “You don’t have to do that.” - 206 BacksideOfLove.com

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“I know I don’t have to,” he fairly growled back at her. “I want to. I need you in the best shape possible for when we decide to lift the ban.” Even from several miles away, he managed to make her blush with just a comment. Blasted, sexy man!

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Chapter VIII

H

eather put the phone down on her desk at work, her face drained of every ounce of color. It was a damned good thing she was already sitting or she’d be in a crumpled heap on the floor. She’d gone to the doctor’s two days ago, with Beau leading the way, and he’d insisted she have every test known to man. Luckily, she had the insurance to cover it. He was appalled to find out that she hadn’t been to see the man in about five years. She was healthy. What did she need a doctor for? She had a yearly gynecological exam, but other than that, she hadn’t had need of a doctor. She’d just gotten the results of her tests. Her cholesterol was wonderful, her chest X-ray was fine . . . and she was pregnant. Pregnant. About two months along. She was on the pill. She had been for some time for a hormonal imbalance. How could she have gotten pregnant?! The doctor, of course, wasn’t much help. The pill’s effectiveness left a small margin for error.

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Apparently the Thorntons were more potent than the average men, or something. She knew she hadn’t missed a pill in years – she was too routined a person. It didn’t really matter, she supposed. It wasn’t like there was anything she could do about it now. Shell shocked, she got up and walked like an automaton out to the receptionist’s desk, telling her to cancel her afternoon appointments, because she wasn’t feeling well. Jeanette was only too glad to – everyone in the place had been telling Heather that she wasn’t looking like she felt very well. Minutes later, Heather was home. She didn’t remember the drive home, and that kind of frightened her a little. She was now thinking for two, and she knew she needed to be more conscious that she had a life growing inside her that she needed to be careful of. As much as she knew she couldn’t be at work right now, she knew that she couldn’t be alone, either. Luckily, it was the summer months, and Hope was home. She agreed to come over immediately, even though Heather couldn’t quite get the words out of her mouth yet. Hope heard the urgency in Heather’s voice – although she’d made the other woman verify that she wasn’t in any danger before she decided that it probably wasn’t necessary to ask her friend to call 911. When she got to Heather’s place, the younger woman was just sitting in her recliner, staring off into space. She hadn’t even gotten up to answer the door – Hope had had to use her key. “Heather, honey, are you all right?” Hope sank down in front of Heather and grabbed her hands around the ice cold ones in Heather’s lap. When their eyes met, Hope could see that she’d been crying, and she was completely unprepared for what Hope said. She’d been thinking about the possibilities all the way across town. She might have lost her job, or found out she had some awful - 209 BacksideOfLove.com

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disease, or found out that a relative had died . . . but the truth had never entered Hope’s mind. “I’m pregnant.” Since Hope and A.J. had been trying to have a baby for a little while, the only response that Hope could have – regardless – was absolute joy. She threw her arms around the smaller woman and hugged her tight. “Congratulations! That’s wonderful!” Heather was beside herself, sobbing uncontrollably. “It’s – not – wonderful! What am I – gonna do?” Leaning back, Hope caught Heather’s weepy eyes. “Well, you’re going to have it, for one thing.” Heather balked. “That’s not even a consideration. Of course I’m going to have it.” Although she felt uncomfortable asking it, Hope thought the question bore asking. “It is Beau’s, isn’t it?” The look Heather gave her would have been comical in another situation. “Of course. How much of a big fat ho do you think I am? I could barely do it with Beau, and I’ve lusted after him for a long time.” Hope nodded, squeezing Heather’s hands. “I know. But I had to ask.” She took a seat on the couch, right next to the recliner, still holding Heather’s hands. “What can I do to help?” Heather snorted. “Change Beau into a wimpy, easy going guy.” “C’mon. You wouldn’t love him if he was like that, and you know it.” She sank further into her recliner. “I’m not looking forward to telling him, I can tell you that.”

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“Why not? He’ll love that you’re going to have his baby! He loves kids – they all do!” “I know,” she whined. “I just don’t want him to feel trapped or anything or resent me or the baby.” Hope leaned forward. “None of them are like that. I will bet you a dinner out at your favorite restaurant that he will be overjoyed. That man loves you, and this will just be the icing on the cake.” Her answering, “Uh huh,” was highly doubtful. But she should have known better. She didn’t tell him immediately. Instead, she drafted Hope into helping her make his favorite foods – Thanksgiving dinner, complete with a real turkey, sausage and celery stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls, homemade pumpkin pie for dinner, the whole nine yards. He was practically orgasmic about the meal, rhapsodizing about how wonderful everything was. She’d made a ton of food, and he had eaten nearly all of it, which was a good thing because some of it was making her a bit nauseous. She had a spoonful of stuffing and some turkey, and that was all she could stomach. When they were done, he made her leave the table, saying that once he’d recovered, he’d take care of the table and the kitchen in repayment for all of her work. And he knew it was work for her – cooking didn’t come naturally to her, and he knew that Hope had been a huge help. Beau made a mental note to thank Hope himself for everything she’d done. But for now, he took his woman into his arms and sank into her plush recliner, settling her on his lap, pressing his forehead to hers and reaching out to her with his lips, making irresistibly irritating kissing sounds until she obliged. “I have something I need to tell you.” - 211 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Well, I don’t like the ominous sound of that,” he replied, raising an eyebrow. “You’re gay?” Heather smacked him playfully. “No, it’s serious.” “Did you used to be a man?” “Beau!” He kissed her full on the lips. “Well, honey, if it’s anything else, I’m sure we can work it out.” She looked unnervingly serious, and, come to think about it, she’d been acting antsy all through dinner. He wondered what, exactly, was up. But Heather was biting her lip, as if she was dreading telling him something like she’d cracked up his car, which she hadn’t. “Well . . .” Heather had reached down and was twisting the hem of his t-shirt around her index finger nervously. “Remember when I had all those tests last week because I’ve been so tired lately?” He nodded, his face serious, finally. He did remember that. He’d asked her about it, but she’d told him that she hadn’t gotten the results yet. “Well . . . I, um, got the results.” She very carefully didn’t say when. Suddenly, his hands were grasping her upper arms tightly. “Are you all right? I mean, you don’t have cancer or something equally as awful, do you?” She would have said anything at that point to remove that stricken look from his face, that horrible tension from his body. “No, no. I don’t. I’m fine.” He relaxed then, all at once, becoming limp beneath her again. “In fact . . . I’m kinda . . . more than fine.” Confused, he repeated, “More than fine?” - 212 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Yeah. I’m pregnant.” His eyes grew wide, and time stood still for the longest of seconds before he stood up, sweeping her up against him and whirling them both around and around and around, and whooping and hollering, then stopping suddenly and setting them both – especially her – gently down on the couch. “I’m sorry! Are you okay? Are you fine? Is the baby okay?” At her gentle reassurances, he paused a bit, then asked, “What – how – I thought you were on the pill?” She’d never seen him like this. He was usually a lot more reticent. Heather was trying to read whether he was happy or angry that she’d gotten pregnant while on the pill. She raised her right hand and promised him solemnly, with tears in her eyes, “I swear, I never so much as missed a pill. I promise. I didn’t.” Beau hated seeing her so upset over something he’d never even thought of in conjunction with her. She just wasn’t that kind of person. “Oh, honey, I trust you. It’s not like I think you’re some conniving gold digger, Heather,” he frowned sternly down at her. “Yeah, well . . .” “You’re lucky you’re pregnant, woman, or you’d be over my lap right now for that. I don’t want to hear you referring to yourself that way. Am I making myself perfectly understood?” “Yeah, yeah.” He was still looking at her in that way. “Yes, I understand.” “You’d better,” he stated firmly, adding, “I want us to get married. Immediately. Like, tomorrow, or as soon as the county offices open on Monday morning.” Heather snorted. “Gee, don’t be such a romantic, Beau. You’ll turn my head.” - 213 BacksideOfLove.com

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He signed impatiently – more at himself than at her. He knew he’d blown it. He should have kept his big mouth shout and just appeared on her doorstep on Monday morning with an engagement and a wedding ring and dozens of roses, along with promises of his undying love. He’d been saving that particular declaration for the next time they made love, which he was going to try to suggest should be extremely soon. It was getting to the point that he could barely sleep, he wanted her so much. It was interfering with his work and his peace of mind. He knew he couldn’t last much longer. She was all he thought about. Now she was carrying his child. He wanted that child to be legitimate and have his last name. He wanted her to have his last name too, so marrying her just seemed like the right thing to do. However, that was distinctly the wrong way to go about it. Even if Heather wasn’t a frou frou girl, she still deserved more consideration than he’d just shown her. Unfortunately, it was out there, and the words couldn’t be retracted. He sighed again, running his hand through his hair and frowning fiercely. “That’s not how I wanted to say that.” “No?” she asked, sweetly sarcastic. “Look. I do want us to get married. There’s no way that I will allow my son – my child,” he corrected himself, watching her smile broadly at the way he’d betrayed that he wanted this baby to be a boy, “to be born illegitimate.” Both of her eyebrows went up, along with her back. “And if I say no, there’s nothing you can do about it, is there.” The tic was back. “No, there isn’t,” he ground out, his voice low and deep. “At least, until he’s born.” Beau stood and reached out, tugging her into his arms tightly. “But I have a feeling - 214 BacksideOfLove.com

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that once you’ve recovered from the birth, you’re going to find it hard to sit for a while if you don’t.” “I won’t be bullied into marrying you, Beau. I just won’t. I think you’re proposing because I’m pregnant.” Another completely exasperated sigh. “Of course I’m proposing because you’re pregnant. If you weren’t, I’d’ve waited until Christmas or New Years, and popped the question then, in a lot more romantic manner, with dinner and flowers and candy and stuff.” “Yeah, right, sure,” she answered doubtfully, folding her arms across her chest. “’Yeah right sure’ you don’t think I could be romantic, or you don’t think I would have proposed?” he asked, wanting to make sure he wasn’t misunderstanding what she meant. She got into his face and said bravely, “You were not going to propose at Christmas, Beau, and you know it.” “How would you know? I love you, Heather Dennison, whether you want to believe it or not is your problem. And I want you. I’ve wanted you since we first met. I’ve been rock hard since the day I first saw you, and I’ve barely been out of that condition a day since then.” He looked a little sheepish, and corrected, “Well, maybe that night we made love. “And now we’ve made a baby, and I intend to do the right thing. And the right thing is for us to get married. Now. As soon as possible. I don’t want people whispering or counting on their fingers about our child.” Heather hated it when he was right. “I just don’t know. Marriage. It’s such a big step! I can barely wrap my head around the idea that I’m having a baby, much less getting married.” - 215 BacksideOfLove.com

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Beau wasn’t at all happy that she seemed so reluctant about the idea of them getting hitched, even with the baby as impetus. It made him wonder just how hard it might have been to get her to say yes without the little one in that flat tummy of hers. He couldn’t resist the urge to put his hand over where his child was now nestled. “We’re going to be parents. We need to be united for this child, in every way we can. I wish I could have done this better, but how it was done or why it came about doesn’t negate the reasoning behind it. If I had no feelings for you, then I would be doing everything I could to support you and the baby, and I would always be an active presence in my child’s life. But I wouldn’t be proposing to you.” She desperately wanted to believe him, and he could see that in her eyes. The hand that rested over their child traveled southward in a very natural movement, claiming that fertile ground for only the second time. “I want you,” he growled low into her ear, not rubbing or clutching, just holding her very private spot. “Never doubt that. I am always aroused by you. All you have to do is exist on this planet. No matter how far away from me you are, I can always conjure your essence into my mind, and it drives me crazy.” He was driving her crazy, too. His nearness, his masculine heat. That bedroom voice tickling her ear. It conjured thoughts that it shouldn’t, and they were starting to blur her mind. He’d said that he loved her. She couldn’t believe it – could she? A man like him in love with a plain Jane woman like her, from the wrong side of the tracks? Not friggin’ likely. He lusted after her, yes. But he didn’t love her. It was too much to hope for. It was more than she deserved by far. But, just for tonight at least, she wanted to indulge herself in that fantasy. She didn’t want to think through the situation or ponder it or even consider the consequences. - 216 BacksideOfLove.com

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Tonight she wanted to forget it all, even that she was pregnant. It wasn’t as if she was going to do any sort of acrobatics that would hurt the baby – and he’d already admitted that he wasn’t going to spank her until after he or she was born. So she was safe to indulge herself a little – just like every pregnant woman should. Their minds must have been traveling along the same route, because he chose that moment to turn her in his arms and plant his mouth over hers, his hands spreading across her back to hold her close, not letting her lean way, not that she wanted to anyway. After a long, wondrous kiss that had the two of them awfully close to completion even though they were still standing there totally dressed, he leaned back a little and whispered, “Are you having any side effects yet, like sickness?” She kept nibbling at his mouth, thinking, leave it to him to be the practical one. “No. Just the exhaustion and a little dizziness.” Heather found herself lifted into his arms before she’d finished her sentence, as he stalked down the hall to her room, laying her out on the bed as if she was some sort of fertility sacrifice. They came together in a storm of desire that was so hard and fast that neither one of them ended up removing any more than was absolutely necessary of their clothing, just pushing things aside as needed and arching and moaning and clenching until they had both exploded in a simultaneous storm of ultimate pleasure. He held her in the aftermath of their loving, disrobing her himself, very slowly, dropping delicate butterfly kissed on each new area he revealed, and lavishing his attention on the part of her that was even now cocooning his baby and laying his head on her tummy. At this point, Beau wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to work out the exact details of getting her to marry him, but he knew it would come to him. And it had better do so before Monday morning. - 217 BacksideOfLove.com

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He was going to be a father. He just couldn’t believe it. And, more than that, he was going to be her husband – come hell or high water. The sparks were certainly going to fly in their relationship, considering it started out with her slapping him across the face. But he liked that idea. He didn’t want a woman he could cow. He wanted someone would do what she did – meet him toe to toe and not back down. “Angel?” Heather paused in the act of ruffling her fingers through his hair soothingly. “Yes?” “Thank you.” “For what?” “For what you will do, and what you are doing, and for the fact that I never heard any resentment in your voice about being unexpectedly pregnant, or even any thought of not having it.” “Didn’t even come to mind. I like kids. It’s not something I would ever consider, even if it wasn’t your child. It’s my child. I couldn’t kill my own child any more than I could kill myself.” “And you want the best for him or her?” “Of course. Doesn’t every parent?” “Well, then you have to marry me. Because the best thing is for a baby’s parents to be married. To each other. And be together in a family unit.” Heather chuckled. “Do you think you could be just a bit more traditionalist, there, Beau? You have some wild and crazy ideas about family - ” “I’m serious,” he growled, glaring up at her even as he pressed a gossamer kiss just below her navel. - 218 BacksideOfLove.com

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“I know you are,” she responded laconically, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “But I’m not.” His mouth moved a few centimeters south, and she couldn’t keep herself from arching up against him, her body inviting him to explore much, much further, and more intimately, despite its recent culmination. It seemed she couldn’t get enough of him, and that idea gave Beau a thought. An evil thought, but a thought. “I’ve said I won’t spank you while you’re pregnant, Heather, and I won’t. But I think I might have discovered another way to keep you in line.” With that, he pressed her legs open and back and positioned himself between her legs with his mouth completely covering that special spot of hers, loving the feel and taste of it in his mouth. He could feel her contract as he did so, and knew that he’d hit on something big. He proceeded to very carefully, very lovingly drive her absolutely out of her mind with pleasure, becoming a quick study as to what she liked and what she didn’t, honing skills he knew would serve him very well over the next nine months and leaving her practically begging for him to finish what he’d started. But he lifted his head and looked up at her. She was gorgeous to him, pregnant or not, and he could only see it as getting more so as she grew with his child. Her hair was fanned out behind her, and he would swear that her breasts, which were already more than generous for a woman her size, had already begun to swell. He kissed the small, sculptured patch of hair at her mons, murmuring, “We’re getting married on Monday, aren’t we, love?” Heather didn’t know what to do, or what to say. Well, she knew what to do, but he seemed to have some awful sixth sense about her and her responses, and he was able to read them perfectly - 219 BacksideOfLove.com

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enough to keep teasing her and keep her right on that pleasurably agonizing knife’s edge of completion, but not tip her over it. Her answer was a long, low groan of pure, unadulterated frustration. She tried to arch up against him, but he moved too quickly, and she was grinding against air. “Beau, please!” “Does it ache, sweetie?” he drawled, letting the tip of his index finger trail softly down that warm, moist crease, touching everything, but not stopping long enough to satisfy anything. “I’d be glad to soothe that ache, honey, just as soon as you agree with me that we’re going to get married on Monday.” She growled at him, a full, deep throated growl. But he merely chuckled. “I’ll even stipulate that we can take a month or so and plan a nice remarriage type of thing for all our friends and family, if you like, with all the trimmings. I just want to claim you and our child as soon as possible. I want you. I want to love you, and make a home for our baby with you.” His words flowed over her, and she dared to open her heart, just the slightest of bits. Enough to let him in a little. Enough to believe – even just the slightest bit – that he was being truthful with her. That he did love her, that he did want her, and their child. With her desires pounding loudly in her ears, and his every breath exacerbating them, along with his soft, loving words, she sighed in what didn’t really feel like defeat. “All right. I’ll marry you.” “Thank you,” Beau said gravely, as he returned to the wonderful task he’d set before himself, gently folding his fingers into her, knowing by now that that made her moan just that much louder, then covering her tender spot with his mouth and laying his tongue tenderly over that very sensitive peak and very gently dragging it up and down, his big hands cradling each of her hips, - 220 BacksideOfLove.com

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fingertips touching over their child as he brought her to a screaming crescendo of incredible ecstasy. Then, when she was still convulsing from it, he covered her with his big body, surprised that he could do so so soon, but unbelievably thankful of it, and joined their bodies together in the same reverent act that was going to bring them together as more than just a man and a woman in the very near future. And he said it – he said what he felt for her – how much he loved her, how she made him feel – in that soft, rumbling voice of his as he made love to her, until he couldn’t think enough to form a coherent thought, until all he could do is strive for his own explosive end. When they were both still trying to recover, and he’d leaned to one side so she could breath, he caught her to him with one strong arm, saying firmly, “You realize that I’m going to hold you to that.” Heather toyed with his light chest hair, running a short nailed finger over those unyielding, impressive plates of flesh. “I know.” Beau cleared his throat and tried to decide if he should push her for a declaration of love or not, but then decided that he’d wait a while. She’d had a big shock in finding out unexpectedly that she was pregnant. He didn’t want to push her. He could only hope, and hold her as tight as possible, and give her – and their baby – the lives they deserved – the best lives he could manage.

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Chapter IX

T

he baby coming had stepped up a lot of things about Beau’s life that he had figured he had at least a little time on. They did indeed get legally hitched that Monday morning, after spending the weekend together at her house. If they were going to be married, he’d decreed, they needed to be together, and not sleeping in different places. He’d mulled over the idea of moving her into the big house, but then decided against it, since he didn’t want to step on Hope and A.J.’s toes, and besides, he had his own place. It just needed to get finished much sooner than he’d planned. He didn’t really have a problem with it. He’d done most of it already himself – most of the big stuff, anyway, and he’d decided that in the interests of getting it done as quickly as possible, he’d hire a crew to finish it rather than trying to do it all himself. He also made some changes in the plans for the bedrooms, making sure that there was a small room near the master bedroom suite that could be used as the baby’s nursery. He was sure that Hope and Heather would have a great time furnishing that. So he quickly cobbled together a crew of men that he knew would do a good job, despite the fact that he intended to tell them that he wanted it done within the month. He wanted to give Heather time - 222 BacksideOfLove.com

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to get into the house and get settled and comfortable before the baby came. They had asked Hope and A.J. to attend their little civil ceremony, and they were both very honored to have been asked. Despite the fact that it was a somewhat casual endeavor, everyone dressed very nicely, Heather in a pretty flowered dress, and Beau in a nicely tailored suit that showed of his broad shoulders and tapered waist very nicely. As she fiddled with his tie and generally fussed around him, he caught her around the waist and pulled her to him. “When we have the ceremony at the house - ” They’d decided to have their remarriage ceremony at the house as a kind of combined house warming and wedding party – “you can wear a proper wedding dress, and I’ll even wear a tux if you like.” She was already way ahead of him on that. When they’d gone to the big house on Saturday and told everyone within hearing their great news, Hope had been filled with tons of ideas about their wedding, and Heather was just kind of letting her run with it, although she had certainly given her some staunch guidelines. Heather had worried a bit about telling A.J. and Hope about their pregnancy, since the other couple was trying so hard to have a child of their own and not having any success about it. But they seemed to take it completely in stride. Hope had, of course, pulled her aside into another room, making her dish about everything that had happened between herself and Beau. The last thing Hope had known, she’d gone to the doctors and had a ton of tests done, but hadn’t gotten any results. “How did he get you to agree to marry him?” Hope knew exactly how amazed Heather would be at that idea. And her incredibly bright blush told Hope that there was a lot more story there than she was probably going to get in the few minutes they had before their husbands discovered them with their - 223 BacksideOfLove.com

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heads together. “Let’s just say that he managed to strong arm me, without using any arms.” Completely intrigued and dying to know the full story, Hope even brought it up when they’d met for the ceremony on Monday, but Heather hung tough. There were just some things that didn’t need to be discussed, as far as she was concerned. But she’d been using Hope as a sounding board and a cheer leading section since before she and Beau had gotten together, and she wasn’t easily put off. It ended up that she did finally confess exactly what had happened one day when she and Hope had decided to spend the day shopping for baby and wedding stuff. They went to every store in the neighboring, larger city – Baby’s R Us, Motherhood, Baby Gap, as well as David’s Bridal and several stationery stores looking for invitations - then collapsed along with tons of bags and boxes into a booth at Olive Garden and gorged themselves on breadsticks, soup, and salad, as well as Heather’s favorite, chicken parmesan. Knowing that her friend was completely sated, Hope leaned in for the kill. “So. Tell me how he got you to agree to marry him. Spill it. You’ll feel better.” There was that telltale blush again. Hope’s eyes widened. “What did he do? Tie you up and tickle you?” “No!” “Well? I know he didn’t spank you.” No one on Earth could think – from Beau’s behavior – that he did anything but cart her around on a thick fluffy pillow since he’d found out that she was pregnant. He was incredibly overprotective. She couldn’t so much as reach for a jar in the kitchen but that he was there to get it for her, which was kind of - 224 BacksideOfLove.com

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stupid when you considered that she lifted people – or at the very least supported most of their weight a lot of the time – for a living. “No, of course he didn’t.” “Then what? The last thing I knew, you were all het up about the idea that someone like you shouldn’t marry someone like him. You weren’t even going to date him, originally. I had to practically shove you out the door on your first date.” Hope remained depressingly oblivious to Heather’s death glare. “Yeah, well . . .” and she took the plunge, saying casually, “Then he did that thing with his tongue . . .” Hope’s eyes were the size of saucers, and Heather decided that any and all embarrassment she felt – which was considerable – was more than worth it to see that look on her friend’s face. “You’re kidding me! He didn’t!” Heather wasn’t going to into any more detail than she already had, but she knew that Hope could get the picture. Hope was a lot more worldly about such things than she was. She was nodding slowly at Hope’s amazement. “Yes. He did. And it worked. Believe me, it worked.” “I – I’m,” Hope giggled a bit. “Well, I had kind of figured that he’d be dynamite in bed, just like his brother. But I hope A.J. doesn’t discover that method of punishment,” she made the word a question, “when I’m pregnant.” Heather sighed. “Well, I’ll tell ya. He says he’s keeping track the whole nine months. So I’m not going to get off Scot free, regardless. I have to pay the piper once the baby’s born and I’ve recovered.” Hope frowned. “That’s not right!! You should have a nine month free pass!” - 225 BacksideOfLove.com

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Heather was shaking her head vehemently. “I agree! But I don’t think that either of them would let us get away with that.” Overall, though, her pregnancy went really well, and they were able to move into their essentially new house right on time. Heather counted herself as lucky, not being one of the construction workers. She knew he was driving those guys mercilessly in order to get them into the place as soon as possible. When it was finally done, he brought her there in one of his big trucks, and carried her over the threshold, not even breathing heavily even though she wasn’t quite a lightweight any more. Despite the fact that he routinely threatened to make her quit – or at least reduce the hours she worked at her job - Heather sailed along through the pregnancy with a minimum of symptoms, working her regular schedule with only minor modifications of what she could and couldn’t physically do. Until the end, when she developed preeclampsia and was confined to bed for the last two months, as there was grave concern that if they couldn’t get her blood pressure under control, the baby would have to be taken early by C-section. The whole family pitched in so that Beau could spend as much time as possible home with Heather. He cut his work hours down as far as he possibly could, and was only working three days a week, half days, and he agonized when he had to leave her at all. The only reason – besides labor pains – that she could get out of bed was to go to the bathroom, so when he did have to go he made sure she had everything she might possibly need. She had the phone, and a back up cell phone, just in case. Books, a shelf CD system, a new laptop that he’d bought to help keep her entertained, and the remotes to the TV and DVR system took care of entertainment – along with Hope, who took to dropping by frequently, especially when Beau was going to be gone. She came armed to the teeth with word, trivia and card games, although she knew she’d get whupped at the word and trivia games. - 226 BacksideOfLove.com

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Although it did nothing for the careful, pretty décor she’d cultivated in their bedroom, Beau had gone out and bought one of those small, dorm room sized refrigerators that he figured could go into the den when she wasn’t using it any more, and stocked it with the fruit juices she preferred, salads, and sandwiches, so that she always had something to eat. He also had bags of salt-free munchies, just in case she got a craving. His normally very healthful, careful eating wife had turned into a junk food junkie with this baby, who seemed to demand Cheetohs and Twinkies much more than the grilled chicken salads his mother preferred, and they had to be very careful about salt intake with her blood pressure. Still, he absolutely hated to leave her, even if he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Hope was going to be over here in less than an hour. He wanted to be with her all the time, especially as she drew closer and closer to her time. One morning, when she was in her thirty fourth week, he kissed her goodbye very, very reluctantly, leaving his lips locked to hers as long as he physically could, until Heather warned him that his lips were going to freeze that way if he didn’t get going. As much as he enjoyed that she was pregnant, and had never felt that she was anything but even more gorgeous than she had been before, Beau sighed as he repeated how much he loved her at their bedroom door, then trudged out to his truck. He would be damned happy to have this pregnancy done and over with. Not only did he want to meet his child, but, much more than that, he wanted his wife’s life out of danger. It drove him absolutely nuts that he couldn’t do anything to help her, besides bully her into resting, and literally carrying her to the bathroom and back, despite her protestations. He didn’t know how he was going to survive labor and delivery. Whenever they went to the doctors, Heather was always - 227 BacksideOfLove.com

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saying that he would probably need something for anxiety, and he was beginning to think that she wasn’t far off. He didn’t know if he could cope with the idea of her being in such pain. Since they couldn’t go out to classes, he contracted to have someone come in and talk to them about the birthing process and give them private Lamaze training. Heather desperately wanted to have the birthing process be as natural as possible. She’d wanted to go to a birthing center to have the baby – so that he would be delivered in as quiet, comfortable a setting as possible. This was up from a home water birth, which she preferred, but Beau wouldn’t even begin to consider. Once the preeclampsia developed, there was no question. Because of the distinct possibility that she would need a cesarean, her doctor recommended a hospital birth, and Heather of course acquiesce, but Beau knew she was disappointed. They’d been giving the opportunity to find out the sex of the baby at the usual time, but they’d both wanted to be surprised. Neither of them would admit to wanting either sex at all, just that they wanted a healthy, happy baby, but Heather knew that there was a baby cowboy hat in the back of the closet they shared, and he knew that the nursery closet had some – not many, but a few – frilly pink things in it. At first Heather had thought that the pains she was feeling as Hope whipped her badly at cribbage were just digestive cramps, but then they began to get steadily worse, and were coming in organized waves. At one point, she reached out and grabbed Hope’s hand, squeezing it tightly as she rode the crest of a particularly hard contraction. Hope was instantly alert. “You’re in labor, aren’t you.” “Yeah,” Heather barely got out as she tried to breath through the pain. “Call Beau.”

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He was there practically in a matter of seconds, since he’d taken to puttering around their ranch, kind of just waiting for that call to come, rather than working anywhere further away from her. Beau carried her out to his car – the big Cadillac so that she would be as comfortable as possible on the ride, which was about fifteen minutes. When they finally got there, with him holding her hand and trying to coach her all the way through, he ran in and got a wheelchair, but as soon as she stood, her water broke. A nurse who had followed him out told her not to worry about it, and she was whisked into the hospital and admitted immediately. Beau had thought – originally, until the reality of the situation had set into him more – that he might like to tape the birth, as so many people do. But he found he was much too involved in helping Heather to do that. He didn’t leave her side – except to run and fetch quick things for her comfort, like ice chips – for the entire, long process. When their daughter was finally placed on Heather’s belly, and he stared into those beautiful blue eyes, he knew he was lost. Again. Now there would be two women wrapping him around their fingers. Beau leaned down and kissed his wife, who was cradling their daughter’s head in her hand. “You are the most wondrous person in the world, and I thank you very much for our daughter. I love you, Heather.” There were tears in both of their eyes when they met. “I – I love you, too, Beau.” She turned to look down at the baby again. “Isn’t she beautiful?” “Just like her Mama, she is.” They had long since settled on names. This little one would be named Elizabeth Naomi, for his mother. - 229 BacksideOfLove.com

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Beau reached down before the staff had a chance to take the baby way and clean her up, enfolding his little family in his arms and sighing contentedly.

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Epilogue

E

ight weeks later, Heather Dennison Thornton had a date with destiny. The baby was sleeping peacefully in the nursery, and could be expected to stay that way for at least the next few hours, having been changed and fed and burped and put down for her early evening nap by her completely, doltishly adoring father. Beth wasn’t sleeping through the night yet, but that was okay. She slept in large enough chunks that her parents could get short burst of recharging sleep before she awoke. She was already a demanding little princess, who didn’t like it when a bottle or a changing was in the least bit late. Especially the bottle. Her Daddy called her his greedy girl, and she was definitely that. So much so, that her mommy couldn’t keep up with her breast feeding, so after a few weeks they had switched over to formula, which was easier for everyone all around and let Daddy get in on some of those lovely midnight feedings. Actually, Daddy came to do all of the overnight feedings. After the first three weeks or so, he had to go back to work full time, and he felt like he was missing out on a lot. So whenever she was up at night, he was too – whether it was just for a changing and a kiss and a cuddle or a bottle and the same. He loved to sit in the - 231 BacksideOfLove.com

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comfortable glider rocker in the nursery with his daughter in his arms and just hold her. The new Mommy had recovered well from the birth, even though she knew what was waiting for her once she back to herself. Beau reminded her of it often enough. He seemed to like to sneak it into ordinary conversation, and especially liked to reach down and pat her bottom when they were in bed at night. It just so happened that they were invited to dinner by A.J. and Hope on the very day he’d scheduled to begin her make up swats. She’d been rightfully outraged at the idea of “beginning” and not finishing it in one fell swoop, but then he handed her a list he’d made of all the punishable things she’d done while she was pregnant, and she was shocked by the length of it. Yes, she’d let her language get a little more lax than it should have been. She admitted that. And it wasn’t as if he hadn’t told her when he was entering something into that awful list, which she’d considered setting fire to, until she realized that that would just get her into that much more trouble, she supposed. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything on there that she thought she could talk him out of. It was no wonder he’d been thoughtful enough to decide to spread her punishments out. Mostly, though, there were instances involving her pregnancy, where she’d lifted things she shouldn’t have at the beginning which as far as he was concerned was anything heavier than a feather, or where he’d caught her out of bed when she got stir crazy on bed rest, but the last one was very rare. She certainly hadn’t wanted to do anything to jeopardize the health of their baby. So that Saturday night, they ate dinner with Hope and A.J. – gorging themselves on the baby back ribs, molasses baked beans, cole slaw, and rolls she laid out before them. Heck, Heather’s pile of bones was nearly as big as Beau’s by the time she finally - 232 BacksideOfLove.com

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finished and leaned back in her chair, patting her tummy, which once her overprotective husband had let her resume her exercise routine had flattened out nicely, almost back to its pre-pregnancy state. “You should sell those, Hope,” she suggested, and all of the sated diners around her agreed heartily. A.J. and Beau got up to get the dishes into the dishwasher, then came back with a coconut cake and coffee. “We love having you guys over, you know,” Hope began, “but this time it really was for a particular reason.” Heather and Beau both answered, “It was?” “Yeah.” Hope and A.J. linked arms. “We wanted you two to be the first to know that we’re pregnant!” Hugs and kisses were exchanged all around, along with promises of any sort of help they could manage. Heather had tears in her eyes. Hope had become like another sister to her, and she couldn’t wait to have someone else who was so close – physically and emotionally – to share the mothering experience with. Despite the joyous news, Beau snuck a sidelong glance at Heather not too much past ten. “As much as we don’t want to, we have some unfinished business to deal with this evening.” His tone left nothing to the imagination, especially for the other couple. A.J. just smiled, especially when Heather turned several shades of red at Beau’s blithe announcement that she was going to be spanked when they got home, but Hope displayed tremendous sympathy. “I’ll send you home with some pillows, if you want . . .” She really hated the idea that Heather was going to be punished. Heather rose at Beau’s nudging. “Thanks, but we have tons at home. I’ve had to expand my collection of them, since they’re - 233 BacksideOfLove.com

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no longer used for decorative purposes,” she answered wryly. Beau helped her on with her coat at the door, when Heather turned to Hope and said, “Enjoy your free nine months. Payback’s a bi - ” She gave Beau a look from under her eyebrows and signed. “A pain. Paybacks a pain.” And they most certainly were, for her, only minutes later, when she lay stretched out on their bed, buck naked, awaiting whatever it was that he decided to deliver. And the fact that he had the thick belt he usually wore doubled up next to her on the comforter had Heather gulping nervously. Beau looked down, and could see her shaking. He knew it wasn’t from cold. So he lay down on the bed next to her and gathered her close, liking the fact that she was naked in his arms when he was clothed. There was just something about it that made his heart pound just a little bit louder. He stroked her hair and looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you, you know.” Heather nodded without hesitation. “I know.” “You and the baby are the two most precious things in this world to me, but before we had Elizabeth, there was just you. And there’s no way I could stand losing you. Some of the things you did, some of your misbehaviors – although they didn’t end up being a problem – could have ended up with you having a stroke or worse, dying.” She saw him gulp hard. “I just got you. I couldn’t take losing you, Heather. That’s why I’m not going to let those things go. I’m not so worried about the language, ‘cause I fully intend to swat you each and every time you use a word I don’t like from now on, as long as you’re not pregnant. “It’s the bigger things, the ones that might have made you go away from me. I – I couldn’t bear it. I just couldn’t.” With those touching words that had tears running down her face already, he stood and took the belt into his hand, rubbing his - 234 BacksideOfLove.com

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fingers over her bottom gently with his other hand, caressingly for a moment. Then, she could see out of the corner of her eye – even though she really didn’t want to – as he raised his arm to bring that awful, thick piece of leather down onto her vulnerable bottom. “One,” he said grimly.

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The End

Thornton’s Desire ©2003 Carolyn Faulkner / BacksideOfLove.com

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Book Three Thornton Brothers Trilogy

Thornton’s Wish By Carolyn Faulkner ©2003 By CFaulkner / BacksideOfLove.com

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PLEASE NOTE: This work of fiction depicts corporal punishment between consenting adults in a romantic, relationship-oriented context. We do not advocate or condone the use of physical force upon anyone whom has not consented to it. If the romance of discipline intrigues you, please visit us at http://BacksideOfLove.com.

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Chapter I

H

e picked up the phone on his desk and dialed his home number again, knowing he hadn’t misdialed it in the first place, but responding to some deep seated wish that it wasn’t true. That she wasn’t gone, as she’d said flat out that she would. How could he have thought she’d stay with him after what he’d done to her? Was he that much of a fool? Cade sighed loudly, slamming the phone down into its cradle with a crack. No, he wasn’t. And that was the gist of it. He was in love, dammit, and he’d hurt her, bad, instead of just saying that to her over and over and begging her forgiveness. He should have followed his instincts last night and just made love to her till neither of them could see straight. He would give anything he had – anything he owned – every wish or prayer for the rest of his life- not to have seen that look on her face. Not to have hurt her. And now he’d lost her. Following a truly masochistic streak, he stormed out of his office, past Linda, his secretary, who was positively yapping after him about missed appointments, and the cops at the desk downstairs, and out the door, driving home at breakneck speed till he reached the small but comfortable ranch house he’d bought recently. He certainly had enough money to get something bigger, - 238 BacksideOfLove.com

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more elaborate, but this place had suited him fine. It had suited the both of them just fine. Now it was going to be empty again, and he wasn’t at all sure he could stand it. Her car was gone, but then it would have been anyway. She’d be at work. Only she wasn’t; he’d already called. Cherisse, her manager, had said she’d resigned over the phone this morning, giving no notice, but that she’d consider it a leave of absence and take Gabrielle back any time she wanted to come back. And then Cherisse – who knew everything that had gone on - had intimated that she just might do the exact same thing, in protest. Cade had smiled inwardly. That was the kind of loyalty Gabby inspired in her friends. Too bad she hadn’t inspired it in her fiancé, too. Already in the depths of despair, he plugged the key into the lock and stepped into their house, only to find his worst fears confirmed: she was gone. He was well and truly alone, having lost the only woman who’d ever meant anything to him. The house was a coffin, a tomb, without warmth or love to sustain it. It was a shell, even though, as far as he could see, she’d only taken the barest of essentials with her to wherever she’d gone. Her side of the closet was empty, except for the neatly arranged rectangular boxes remained beneath them – a shoe in every possible hue. He’d often teased her about being a shoe fetishist, and she’d always given him that incorrigible, unrepentant smile and agreed wholeheartedly. Every piece of jewelry he’d given her was still in her jewelry box, along with what she’d had before she’d met him. Their bathroom, with its dual marble sinks, was devoid of all of the accoutrements of a woman’s presence – his woman’s presence. There were no more perfume bottles edging their way into his space as she added quietly to her burgeoning collection of tantalizing scents that drove him even madder than she did au natural, no rows of creams and moisturizers or make up pots that he - 239 BacksideOfLove.com

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used to call her spackle, which had always earned him a sharp slap or the surprisingly painful poke of a really hard, acrylic nailed finger deeply into one or several of his ribs. She was gone, and with it all the love and fiery passion he’d been warming himself against for the past half a year. It seemed like so much longer . . . Sighing, he returned to their bedroom, sweeping a gaze over her nightstand, where the latest Anita Blake Mystery had been living as she mowed her way through it over the past couple of weeks. She’d taken her clock radio, and the machine she always turned on at night with the ocean sounds that helped her sleep. A thought struck him, and he began to scour the house, but there was no note, no nothing. The only thing he found was a depressingly final pile of keys – the ones he’d given her months ago, when she’d moved in. Keys to the house, to his car just in case she ever needed to drive it, keys to his office, keys to the family home, along with her debit card to their joint account. Those were hardly the acts of a woman who had done what she was being accused of – even by the man who purported to love her. Atop the small, bereft pile, sat her engagement ring that he’d gone all the way to San Antonio to buy at its best – and most expensive – jeweler. Cade reached out and picked it up, imagining that it was still warm from her finger. He stared at it for a long time, wondering where he could have gone so wrong. Work was waiting for him, he knew. When he’d left, he’d walked away from a multitude of appointments scheduled all day long. It wasn’t the best time for him to be away from the office, and he knew that should matter to him, and it did. He had to find out who had framed her – who was the real culprit behind these crimes. - 240 BacksideOfLove.com

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But somehow, despite the fact that work had long been a salvation for him, and despite his bone deep need for revenge against whoever it was who had done this to her, he still wasn’t much interested in going back there. It had been pretty much the only thing he was interested in, until Gabby came along and then nothing else had mattered the way she did in his life. And now she’d left him. And with damned good reason.

~~~ Gabby trundled her luggage into the Atlantic Motel on Wells Beach, in Maine, where she and her parents used to vacation during summers while she was growing up in Taxachusettes. It was September, so it was off season, although not quite as off season as she’d like – staying here was more expensive than she’d planned, but when she’d gotten into the car to drive away from her home, her job, and the man she still loved, despite what he had done with her, her only thought was to get away. She didn’t even really know where she was going until she saw the Piscataqua River Bridge that joined Portsmouth, New Hampshire with Kittery, Maine. She just got into the car and drove, feeling numb and dumbstruck, but not quite numb enough that she didn’t feel the depths of the pit he’d left in her chest where he’d ripped out her still beating heart. She couldn’t really even process that she was here as she stood in front of the sliding glass doors that opened onto the pebbly beach and open, roiling ocean. The weather on the way up had said that there was a Nor’ Easter off the shore, and that if it had been later in the year they would have been expecting over a foot of snow. As it was, they were instead expecting effects darned near those of a hurricane. - 241 BacksideOfLove.com

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But the condition of the sea reflected Gabby’s turbulent insides perfectly. Somewhere during that lonely, twenty hour, non stop drive, she had become frighteningly less numb. Gabby reached for the drape pull with her left hand, noticing immediately how naked her left ring finger was without that gigantic ring he’d given her. She’d gotten used to wearing it – become expert at not letting it get caught on things, not nicking it on shopping carts or making it tear holes in her sweaters. And now it was gone. Her life was gone. Her love. Gone. She snorted wryly. She wished. If she could have excised him that easily, she certainly would have. But nothing in life was that easy. She stood at the end of one of the double beds and simply fell backwards onto it. If they had offered a twin bed, she would have taken that instead. Normally, they never slept in anything but his custom made king – Cade was too damned big for anything smaller. He’d gotten the requisite dose of Thornton size. But, alone as she was, Gabby had wanted the smallest bed they offered. She didn’t want to be reminded by a vast expanse of empty bed that she was alone. The tears slipped naturally from the corners of her eyes into the hair at her temples until she rolled into a tightly curled ball and wept inconsolably until she became so overwrought that she ended up in the bathroom, praying to the porcelain god. Except there was nothing on her stomach – she hadn’t eaten in more than a day, and all she ended up doing was screaming uncontrollably into the toilet as her body let her know just how unacceptable the recent turn of events was. - 242 BacksideOfLove.com

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When she’d finished, when her stomach muscles hurt and she was hoarse from all of the retching and screaming, she simply lay on the cool tile floor and cried until there were no tears left.

~~~

A year or so earlier . . .

Gabrielle Andolini reached for a celery stick and dipped it into her favorite garlicky dip, munching resentfully. “I hate low carb. What I wouldn’t give for a slab of Olive Garden pumpkin cheesecake about now!” “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,” Linda agreed loudly. “I want a Cinnabon!” She smacked her hand down on the table like a petulant child, hard enough to make the pile of chips in the pots in the middle of the table jump. “Okay,” Gabby chomped down again, resentfully, on the celery, looking behind her and removing the handy dandy fluffy pink, tasseled, star tipped “magic wand” she’d tacked up on the wall in a miserably failed attempt to decorate. As she waved it around recklessly in front of herself, she said, “Okay. I’m sure that you can all see that I have my magic wand in my hand - ” Charlene snickered. “You mean the magic whang?” she blurted, making everyone but Gabby snort and laugh. With a death glare at Charlene, Gabby continued solemnly, “Okay, impromptu poll: if you could have any sweet treat from anywhere you wanted placed in front of you right this minute, what would it be?” “Any?” her sister, Diane, asked. - 243 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Any.” They had just anted, and it was Gabby’s deal. This was her regular Friday night Tripoli or Poker night, depending on what everyone wanted to play. It was a friendly game, just for change, although the pots in some of the Tripoli compartments could add up to some nice pocket change when they hadn’t been collected for a while. It was the usual group – Gabby, Diane, Linda, Tiffany, Charlene, Bridget and Bonnie. The makeup of the group changed, dependant on the availability of babysitters, the condition of various member’s marriages, and various children’s’ sports events, but there were usually the same suspects, plus or minus one or two. If any more than two or three cancelled, then the whole event was off. Hosting circulated amongst everyone, unless a move was on or in-laws were in residence. The default venue was always Gabby’s, since her children were furry and she was single, and that was where they had ended up this time, since Bridget’s husband’s parents had settled in for a long winter’s stay, as usual at this time of year, when it got to be cold in Minnesota. “I want a ginormous Cinnabon, please, with vats of icing for dipping and general rolling around in,” Linda reasserted, inciting snores from her friends who loudly professed the most sarcastic versions of disbelief imaginable. The wishes flew around the table as puddles of drool formed on the floor around it. “A slab – hell, the whole cake – of Olive Garden’s pumpkin cheesecake!” “Bugaboo Creek’s brownie sundae” and “My Mom’s chocolate fudge pie!” were mentioned with a reverence usually reserved for prayers. Bridget noticed that Gabby was the only one who hadn’t said anything. “Well? What do you want that’s completely off your diet?” Gabby snorted. “Everything.” - 244 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Answer your own question.” “I want a sampler platter of my own creation – something from several different places.” “Hey!” There were immediate outcries of foul. “You can’t do that – it has to be one thing! You said so yourself!” Gabby glared ferociously. “Who’s holding the wand?” That was the end of that. She who remembered to grab the wand off the wall first made the rules about the question. It had developed into something of an almost Truth or Dare situation among the friends. The wand was used to confess all sorts of things, or to encourage others to do so, and it worked wonderfully. They were a very tight knit group and probably didn’t really need it, but the wand was almost as good as alcohol, absolving everyone of guilt as they discussed some extremely intimate topics. “I want part of a Cinnabon, some tiramisu from Olive Garden, some lemon tart from Macaroni Grill, and a whole lotta - ” “A whole lotta Cade Thornton!” Tiffany filled in, despite not having been asked. “Don’t even need to dip him in chocolate, right, Gab?” It definitely wasn’t the thought of forbidden food that made the drool drip from the corner of Gabby’s mouth. Nope. It was the instant picture of one Cade Thornton, businessman extraordinaire, standing there when she’d come to pick up Linda for lunch one day. She was his administrative assistant, which was an upscale, Human Resources term for what had always been called a secretary prior to the days of garbage men being called sanitation workers. But Linda knew what she was, and she was damned good at it. No Thornton would put up with anything less than the best from himself – or his employees. Gabby was the calm, smart, capable type who wasn’t easily attracted or interested in most men – in fact, she was the most - 245 BacksideOfLove.com

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sexually adventurous in her fantasies - but Linda had grinned evilly when her friend had gotten an eyeful of the man in a gorgeous, hand tailored Italian suit. Introductions were made all around, and, luckily, she’d responded by rote, but Linda knew her friend well enough to know that she was totally and completely smitten, and had been ever since then. Like most of the rest of the female population of Thornton Industries, and most every woman he met even casually. But for some reason, from that point on, although Linda could tell that when they got together her friend was literally hanging on any word at all about Cade, she patently refused to go up to get Linda at her office, insisting instead that they meet downstairs in the lobby. Sometimes Gabby could be a little hinky about things for no particular reason – could play things a little close to the vest and this was definitely one of those times. But there was no mistaking the immediate attraction, and everyone teased her about it mercilessly, especially since she was so fussy about men in general, preferring not to have a date on a Friday night – spending it with them losing her lunch money – rather than date someone just to say she was dating. Linda had originally figured that if Cade Thornton had but snapped his fingers, Gabby would have dropped at his feet. Strong, independent, feisty Gabby. Linda knew Cade probably better than most, having spend the past ten years as his assistant, but he was nearly as impossibly hard to read as Gabby, and she couldn’t really tell if he’d been affected the same way at all. In a lot of ways, the two of them were very much alike – keeping a lot to themselves, never – in Cade’s case - and rarely – in Gabby’s – opening up to anyone. Gabby was good at getting her friends to talk, but Linda had seen through that old trick a while ago. If her friends were spilling their guts, then Gabby didn’t have to. From what Linda could tell, Cade was the most introspective of the brothers – not that any of them were - 246 BacksideOfLove.com

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particularly forthcoming, especially about feelings. They were very typical men. Cade was the boss and he set the tone for the company, and that was one of hard work and dedication paying off – but he didn’t expect anything of anyone that he didn’t already require of himself. The Thornton brothers had diversified very nicely under their oldest brother’s guiding hand – once their father had passed on – and they had their fingers in many pies, usually those that complimented the ranching industry. Cade headed up the research and development end of things, working on various projects and products – new feeds, new ways of animal management, anything that might work for their vast empire and that they could then market to others. It was a highly competitive business, fraught with security risks. Everyone would give their eye teeth to get a hold of what anyone else was working on. And Linda was in her fifth month. She was going to be going on maternity leave for at least two months after the baby arrived, if not sooner, depending on how things went. She had a very bad back, and her obstetrician had already warned her that she might well end up bed ridden by as early as her sixth month. But Linda had a plan. Pre-empting the snickers and cat calls the mention of Gabby’s interest in Cade had prompted, Linda casually asked, “So. Any good news on the job front?” There was only one of them at the table who was unemployed by fate rather than choice. Charlene stayed home with the kids because she wanted to. Gabby had lost her job when the department she’d been working in for the bank had been folded into another department in which she didn’t care to work. “Nope, nothing yet,” Gabby replied stubbornly, knowing what her friend’s next words were going to be. - 247 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Well . . .” “No, thank you. I’ll starve before I work for him.” Linda tsked in disgust, as did everyone else at the table. “Puh-leeze! You have the hots for the man so bad it’s pathetic! Go work for him – maybe you can get a taste!” Bonnie was the youngest and, arguably, the prettiest. She had, by far, had had the most varieties of sex and sexual partners of all of them. She treated men like candy, eating them up and throwing away the wrapper. In some cases, throwing them completely out of bed and out of her apartment afterwards, refusing to allow any of them to even become close enough to her to stay the night. Her attitude towards the opposite sex made her older friends shake their heads, but they’d long since given up on trying to change her. “Regardless,” Linda glared at Bonnie, “you’re practically over qualified. You’re perfect for the job.” “Over qualified? I’ve never been a secretary in my life!” They’d been through this argument before, and everyone already knew their parts. “I’ve seen how fast you type. You’re always correcting everyone’s grammar, even on Poker Nights. I know you know shorthand, like the rest of us old fogies, and you’re practically a computer nerd. You’re the most disgustingly smart and organized and honest person I know, and you’ll deal with a lot of sensitive information in my job. You don’t drink, you don’t do drugs – Cade could do a lot worse for a wife, much less just a replacement secretary.” Gabby frowned as fiercely as she blushed. “And therein lies the problem: you’re coming back. I don’t want a temp job. If I did, I’d go to an agency - ”

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“But it would get your foot in the door. I’m sure Cade would find another place for you in the company if you work as hard there as you did at the bank.” Gabby had poured a lot of her heart and soul into the new department she’d helped found at the bank, only to have all of that work dissolved out from under her by the higher ups. She wasn’t at all sure that she wanted to – or even was really capable of – committing to a job in quite the same way again. Linda wanted to seal the deal as soon as possible, and her mind was made up. She wanted to entrust the job – and the care and feeding of Cade Thornton – to someone she trusted. He’d told her she had full authority to interview and hire whoever she wanted to. Who better to find someone to replace her? Linda knew him like she knew the back of her hand, and it was much more than how he took his coffee. She knew her stuff, and he knew she’d find someone worthy of the post. Linda appreciated his trust in her, and she knew she’d found the right person. It was just a matter of persuading that person of that fact. Luckily, Cade didn’t have any qualms about paying those around him who performed up to his standards – and those who didn’t last very long, anyway – extremely generously, and Linda had just this week gotten him to agree that whoever she chose would get the same rate of pay she did. Cade had been surprised – which she only knew because that thick, dark eyebrow kinked sharply as it rose – but had taken one look at her and called her on it, realizing she already had someone in mind. Linda had grimaced, but confirmed his suspicions. All he’d said was, “I hope she’s worth it.” If everything went according to Linda’s plan, she knew he’d find Gabby more than worth it. That was, if the woman would stop being so damned stubborn!

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“You know,” she let slip as casually as possible, “whoever fills in for me will be earning the same rate I do, plus all of the benefits of working for the Thorntons.” The Thornton family was legend in Haverhill, easily considered the best place to work, even more so than the bigger companies in the larger cities. The Thorntons took care of their own, and that included their employees. Everyone – from the CEO to the janitors – were expected to work hard, but were granted equally generous salaries and benefits packages. Family came first, and that unwritten policy was never more in evidence than when A.J., the eldest son, had had a bad car accident and ended up in a wheelchair. The brothers had drawn even closer together, and everyone they employed simply stepped in as best they could to take up the slack. Leaves were generous and schedules were as flexible as possible. But first and foremost, the work got done, whether it was done by a new mom from her laptop at home, or an executive in the board room. No one worked harder than the brothers themselves – they were always the first in and the last to leave, and Cade was the worst of the bunch. He demanded as much from his staff as he did of himself, but he wasn’t stingy about paying them for it and Linda knew that was an ace in the hole. Gabby had lost her job a couple months ago, and Linda knew money had to be getting a bit tight. Come to think of it, the sodas she usually had on hand when she hosted this shindig were house brands, rather than the Diet Coke she’d long since sworn allegiance to. Linda allowed herself a small smile. Maybe she was more likely to win this battle than she’d thought.

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Chapter II

“S

on of a - ”

Gabrielle tried for the umpteenth time to force her thick rope of golden red hair into some semblance of a bun at the back of her neck – wanting and desperately needing to look the part of the dowdy secretary for some reason she didn’t want to consider any too closely. Yes she did. It was him. It was that blasted Cade Thornton, with his classically, almost exaggeratedly, Y shaped physique, expensive suits and confident – bordering just this side of arrogant – demeanor. The man almost looked like he’d stepped off the pages of G.Q., and he might have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that soft but steely drawl of his. His handshake when they were introduced that one time was firm but carefully not crushing, and those eyes! She’d only made the mistake of meeting them once, and she’d been recovering from the heart attack he’d given her ever since then. She felt as if he’d reached into her chest and was squeezing her heart rather than her hand, and for some reason she found it very hard to breathe the entire time. And yet she’d let herself get conned into coming in to meet him for some sort of casual interview. As far as Linda was concerned, she was hired. But Linda wanted her to spend some time talking to Cade before she broke the news to him, just to be sure. - 251 BacksideOfLove.com

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Gabby wasn’t at all sure that this wasn’t some sort of torturous hazing that Linda had dreamed up, but nonetheless she was going to go. As soon as she’d mentioned that whoever replaced her was going to get the same pay scale as she had, Gabby had known it was all over but the whining. She wasn’t desperate yet, and the rent was paid, but it was getting to the make it or break it point and she didn’t want to end up flipping burgers. She didn’t want a temporary position, either, but this one would at least afford her enough money that once Linda came back, she’d be in a better position to being to look for something more permanent. And nothing said that she couldn’t look while she was working at Thornton Industries, either, despite the fact that she knew that was probably going to be frowned upon by both her new boss and her old friend. She didn’t much want this position, either. She’d been Linda’s friend for long enough that she’d heard how much of a pain Cade Thornton could be, especially if – God forbid – things weren’t done to his exact specifications. Linda had said, though, very carefully, before this situation had cropped up, that he’d never raised his voice once in all her years there. He’d never had to. Apparently the man could kill with a look, and a lot of his employees were simply too terrified of displeasing him to do a bad job. She stood back from her reflection, realizing she looked as if she was going to the gallows rather than just an informal meet and greet with a potential – hot – new – steamy – boss. Taking her rampaging libido formally – but not literally – in hand, she tugged the top her smart, if somewhat severe navy blue suit down sharply, took a deep breath and left. Hell or high water, this was it. As much as she wasn’t at all sure she wanted to get this job, realistically, she knew that she needed it. Especially at that obscene salary. Hell, if Linda hadn’t been such a great friend, Gabby might well have tried to make it a more permanent position, - 252 BacksideOfLove.com

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but, as she’d said, it might well develop into some kind of permanency, which couldn’t be all that bad, could it? Even if the sight of him was likely to melt her loins like butter on an August sidewalk? A thought struck her that had her rawly wishing she’d put on a light day pad. What if he was into spanking, too? Gabby shivered, unable to truly comprehend the thought, and ruthlessly stuffing it to the back of her mind as she made her way to the smallish but imposing building. She knew where Linda worked – on the top floor with the executives, in what Linda referred to as the penthouse suites, although the Thorntons didn’t much hold with folderol. They were a straightforward family, and although the offices were nice, they were far from ostentatious. The lobby downstairs didn’t contain a fountain or anything artsy, just pictures of their father as the man who started it all. Their companies were tastefully appointed and did not scream about their owners’ wealth. Gabby snorted. Everyone around these parts knew how loaded the Thorntons were, anyway. They didn’t need to flash it around. Linda was right there when Gabby stepped off the elevator – early as usual. She was never, ever late for anything unless someone else caused it, and she’d actually been sitting in the parking lot for ten minutes before she came up, not wanting to appear to be too anxious, despite the fact that Linda smiled, and said with a soft snicker, “How long did you wait before you came up?” The glare Gabby shot her should have singed Linda’s hair. “Shut up, you snot!” - 253 BacksideOfLove.com

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Of course, the big man took that moment to appear, when she was insulting one of her best friends in a comically shrill tone. And there it was again – along with what she knew was an embarrassingly bright blush. That “heart attack” feeling that man engendered deep in her chest, with tendrils that extended to places much lower, where they oughtn’t, especially in a business setting. How was she going to manage around this man if every time she saw him her whole body literally contracted where she stood? He was just perfect in her eyes – tall, dark haired, endlessly broad shouldered, obviously smart, and he met her eyes when he spoke to her and shook her suddenly cold, clammy hand. He’d probably just attribute that to nerves, but still. Gabby straightened her own slim shoulders and reached inside herself to grab her libido firmly in hand. The only way she was going to be able to do this was to be relentlessly all business. “Good morning, Mr. Thornton,” she greeted, proud of the fact that her voice didn’t crack once, despite the impetus. He didn’t look like the type to fool around much himself, but he did have a wry smile that settled onto his face as he gestured towards his office and said, “I believe that Linda has pretty much settled on you, but I think she wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t run screaming from me on first glance or something, so we’re just going to have a quick chat. I bet she has all your paperwork ready when you leave so that you can start on Monday . . .” Linda snorted, but the man was damnably right. She’d gotten all that ready days ago. “Please, take a seat,” Thornton was rumbling behind her as Gabby walked into the small but very tastefully appointed office. He noticed that she was looking around and asked, “Is something wrong?” - 254 BacksideOfLove.com

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Gabby met his raised eyebrowed eyes, saying, “No, I just somehow thought a Thornton’s office would be bigger. More ostentatious.” “Next time I’ll try to do better,” he replied with just a tinge of sarcasm. “So. Linda sings your praises to the high heavens, even though your application says you’ve never been a secretary, much less an executive secretary.” “Guilty as charged.” She’d successfully fit into her work persona as much as she would ever be able to around a man like Cade Thornton, who stoked every single libidinous thought she’d ever had. Damn the man was gorgeous. Not classically, not in a prissy boy, “don’t touch me or you’ll mess my hair” male model way, but in a man’s man, me Tarzan, you Jane way that wasn’t in the least dampened by his sophisticated, thoroughly civilized surroundings. He made her shiver. He made her wish she’d worn a pad. He made her nipples poke against the itchy lace of her uncomfortable under wire bra, and, uncharacteristically, he made her want to hide under his desk rather than complete this interview. But she had no choice. She needed this job, and she needed to ace this interview. He’d zeroed in – within the space of about five seconds, on her weakest point. Smart and virulently masculine. Somehow, Gabby knew in that instant, that she wasn’t going to be able, two or three months from now, when Linda came back, to just blithely walk away from this man unscathed. He’d already made an indelible impression on her – one of strength and confidence and even humor that she found completely irresistible – and, beyond rather formally shaking her hand, he hadn’t once touched her, yet her body was quite willing and ready to surrender to him completely. He was a very, very dangerous man. And she was going to be working with him every day. - 255 BacksideOfLove.com

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She’d be very lucky if she managed to escape with her panties – or her dignity – in tact, and she had considerable doubts about either. Despite the fact that her fertile mind kept running scenes of him clearing off his desk with one thick, sweeping arm and laying her down on top of it to make her scream and plead and beg for him and the release he could undoubtedly bring her, Gabby remained rock still and steady, repeating the mantra that she needed this job, this was business, she needed this job . . . She allowed herself a small, self deprecating smile. “But I type seventy words per minute with absolute accuracy. I take shorthand, which is a lost art nowadays. I can run all the usual office machines, including ten keying by touch. I’m also pretty good at computers in general, and I am, of course, familiar with all of the usual software. I’m extremely organized and that will help me keep you organized. I’m almost never sick, and I’m always, always, always early. I have no life, so I’m perfectly willing to come in early and/or stay late.” Gabby stopped there somewhat abruptly, having revealed a little bit too much of herself with that last sentence. But overall, she thought her little speech had come out reasonably well, and seemed to be well received. That eyebrow had gone up again, though, when she’d said she had no life, and she thought she could see the smallest hint of a smile as he said, “Well, I’m sorry to hear that you don’t have a life, but this job sometimes does demand long hours, and it’s good to know that that won’t be a problem for you.” Shifting someone uneasily, she decided his response was rhetorical and said nothing. “And it’s a good thing you’re early – I don’t hold with lateness from anyone.”

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Her statement about herself had been true, but she’d had inside information from Linda that that was a particular pet peeve of his and had deliberately worked it into her patter. To her surprised, he leaned towards her, across the desk, extending his hand. “Welcome aboard. If things go well, if you work hard for me, then I can’t see letting you go at the end of Linda’s leave. We’ll find you something else, if you’d like . . .” At first Gabby had wondered why he wasn’t standing to shake her hand, but then he’d said the magic words about probably wanting her to stay on, and her attention was diverted. She grasped his hand firmly and pumped it up and down twice, then released it with a broad smile, holding his eyes the entire time. “Thank you. I’m sure I’d love that.” He touched a button on the phone on his desk. “Linda, if you’re finished listening at the door with a glass, you can come in.” Linda huffed her way into the office seconds later, not letting him get away with that. “I most certainly was not listening at the door with a glass. How gauche! I had the intercom on, instead,” she deadpanned, making the big man almost grin, but not quite. “Well, we’ll keep her, I think.” Although Linda had settled into her usual position standing at his elbow, he rose immediately and grabbed one of the chairs from in front of his desk and placed it next to her. “Sit.” Linda rolled her eyes and tsked dramatically, but she did as she was told. Apparently, that was always the safest route with a Thornton brother. Just do as you were told. “So. You’re going to start on Monday? The salary meets your requirements?” he asked bluntly, his heavy gaze settling on her like a firm hand. - 257 BacksideOfLove.com

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She had to stop reading all of that spanking fiction, Gabby thought to herself. There was just no hope for it. Met with her requirements? Was this man kidding? Could he say “highly overpaid?” But she wasn’t about to let that on. She allowed a small smile, saying, “Yes, Monday would be fine.” Gabby stood, offering her own hand. “Thank you very much, Mr. Thornton. I’m sure we’ll work very well together.” His handshake this time was much less firm, more gentle and personal than she was used to – and than she wanted to have from him, frankly. But she kept hers completely businesslike. “I’m sure we will, too, Gabby. And please call me Cade.” Linda was already up, bustling Gabby out of the office to her desk to sign away her life as she squealed and danced uncharacteristically – and a bit awkwardly, with her bulk. Linda wasn’t much given to bursts of emotion like this, and Gabby found herself eyeing her friend up and down. “Calm down there, Mommy. You’re gonna upset the kid.” “I am not – I’m just happy that you got this. I really thought you and he would work well together.” Linda didn’t mention that she had high hopes that it might end up as something more than just a business relationship. Those two belonged together, as far as she was concerned. Cade’s brothers were getting married off one by one, and there he was, working till all hours, coming in early, living his job. If anyone needed some feminine diversion, it was Cade Thornton. Preferably a permanent feminine diversion, and Gabby, although she probably didn’t know it or wouldn’t acknowledge it even if she did, would be his perfect wife. Linda had already picked out their engagement, wedding, and first child’s gifts. This thing was going to work out, if it killed her. Or them, she thought with an evil grin. - 258 BacksideOfLove.com

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In his office, blissfully alone for a few minutes before Linda came in to go over his schedule for the day, Cade leaned back in his chair with a report in his lap that he wasn’t seeing. The only vision that came into his mind was one Gabby Andolini, and it was all Linda’s fault. He’d wanted her from the moment he’d seen her that one time she’d come up to the office to collect Linda for a lunch date. She was nothing like the women he’d dated when he was younger and much more carefree. Cade had gone to college back East, and had dated wealthy socialites, models and wannabe TV stars. But they had all left him cold. He hadn’t been truly involved with any of them except in the most basic of physical ways. Oh, he was a complete gentleman. He knew how to treat a woman – flowers, candy, if he thought they’d eat it and not throw it up, little gifts, lots of romantic gestures. But his heart hadn’t truly been engaged with any of them. He wanted what his parents had had – that close, all or nothing, raw, male female relationship that he knew didn’t always come along quickly – and often didn’t come along at all. He believed there was someone out there for him, and he wanted to get married and settle down and have kids and all that. But he was almost too choosey for his own good, and he wasn’t going to put his life on hold waiting for her. So he’d buried himself in work, instead, which got him nagged incessantly by Linda at work, and his sisters-in-law when he went home to the big house – neither of whom found it at all necessary to pull their punches, and who all thought he was fair game to set up on all sorts of blind dates that all ended up in disaster. So he’d put the kibosh to that, firmly, with the three of them, and become somewhat of a hermit, hiding away in his apartment with his work and music, and only occasionally venturing out to family dinners or birthdays. Basically, he’d become a monk, he realized, and perhaps it was only the proximity of Linda’s friend that attracted him to her. He didn’t meet that many eligible women any more, but his interest - 259 BacksideOfLove.com

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had been piqued immediately – although he’d done his best to keep that fact from both women. This morning, though, it had returned full force as soon as she’d appeared in front of him, and he’d actually had to hide behind his desk when he’d offered her his hand just before she left, because he didn’t want to stand up and give her an eye level view of his full blown erection. Cade didn’t know exactly what it was about her, but his body was already trying to convince him to find a way to date her, although that was definitely not something he should have been considering. The boss – secretary thing was never a good idea. He took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on the dry figures in front of him about their latest and most promising project – a type of feed that was plentiful, easily manufactured, cheap, and contained all of the necessary nutrients and none of the harmful chemicals. It was a gold mine, if he could only get it into production before it was subject to corporate espionage. But he couldn’t keep his mind where it belonged. Every time he looked down at the paper, he saw her. Gabby was just about the right size for him – unless she was wearing heals, in which case she was a little short, but that was fine. He never got as far as her feet, not having a foot fetish. Surprisingly, it was her clear blue eyes that flashed with intelligence that had caught him first on both meetings. And her small smiles, as if she was deliberately trying to suppress bigger ones for some reason. Her skin was soft although her handshake was firm and no nonsense. He knew she had a beautiful fall of red hair that he would gladly have wrapped himself up with and died in, but this morning – probably because it was work – she’d wrenched it into a severe bun at the back of her head. Smart girl. If she hadn’t, he probably would have spent the whole interview – such as it was – running his hands through it. Or at least aching to, as he was now. - 260 BacksideOfLove.com

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He could hear the two of them laughing and talking at Linda’s desk, and Cade knew he had to have her. He had to – at the very least – devise a way to take her out, at least once. Maybe then the attraction would be gone. He looked down into his lap at the way his raging hard on was pressed up against the zipper of his pants and sighed. He wasn’t at all sure he could live like this for the next three months.

~~~ Gabby had three days to live. That’s how she looked at it – sort of. She had three days to work Mr. Cade Thornton out of her system before she had to see him on a regular basis. So, after spending the rest of Friday buying some suitably dowdy clothes, she set herself to purging her system of him by indulging the sensual side of herself completely. She got a pedicure and a manicure, which she almost never did – especially lately since she didn’t have the money. Then she shrugged and went the rest of the distance at the spa she was already at and got a half hour massage and an hour of aroma therapy, choosing to be bathed her favorite scent – lavender. Scent was very important to Gabby, and her place was full of scented candles, scent warmers, potpourri, not to mention her extensive collection of designer perfumes. She literally soaked her clothes in her favorite fabric softener, used a like scented fabric freshener on all of her sheets and rugs, and had literally boxes of scented bath beads. And over that weekend, the weekend before she was going to have to keep a ruthless hold on her more prurient interests for Lord knew how long, she took tons of long, sensual bubble baths, with scented candles burning all around her, and her mind literally dancing with thoughts of absolutely no one and nothing else but him. - 261 BacksideOfLove.com

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She’d never seen him with his shirt off, but the impression of his suit coat stretching to accommodate the breadth of his shoulders sufficed nicely. He obviously had muscles under there. Linda said that he still took time off every roundup – as did all of the brothers – to help wrangle the herd, and that he spent time in the employees’ gym every day, either before or after work. Visions of him, along with her own overactive imagination, set her to thinking about what it might be like to be loved – and spanked – by a man such as Cade. Then she began to call to mind all of the references Linda had made to Cade when they were talking – they all smacked of his dominance, and the fact that he tended to overprotect Linda, even though she was married. Gabby knew that, if they worked late, he always walked her to her car in the parking lot and didn’t leave until he’d made sure that her car had started fine. Since she’d become pregnant, he was even more so, making sure that she was always as comfortable as possible – she remembered during the short interview how he’d gotten Linda a chair without her even having to ask for one. That was the kind of guy she needed, Gabby sighed. Tall, dark, handsome and firm enough not to let her get away with things that might put her at risk. The idea of being taken in hand by that man had her hands wandering slowly down her own body, beneath the slick bubbles, to that already burgeoning place between her legs as she pictured the scene as if she was one of those spanking authors she liked to read online . . .

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Chapter III

“G

abrielle, please come in here,” he’d say, in a tone that meant that he’d discovered something she’d done wrong and wasn’t going to put up with it. And she’d have to pay in the most basic, and painful of ways. Gabby could see herself punching the talk button and answering dutifully, “Yes, Sir,” walking very slowly and reluctantly to the door of his office, knocking politely, then letting herself in, her head down, knowing she was going to get a spanking and dreading it because she’d been subject to his discipline before, and it wasn’t fun. At least, not until afterwards, when he’d comfort her . . . He’d look up at her from where he sat behind that big mahogany desk, and give her the eye, maybe crooking his finger at her if she hesitated too long at the door before making her way to stand next to the desk, not quite having the nerve – yet – to stand directly in front of him. He’d have taken off his suit coat and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to just below his elbow, signaling that he meant business, leaning forward in his chair as the fine white cloth of his shirt molded itself to his muscles – as he would force her to mold - 263 BacksideOfLove.com

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herself to him later - reaching forward with both big hands to clamp them gently but firmly around her thighs. Cade tugged her towards him so that she was where he wanted her, standing directly in front of him like the naughty woman she was, being called on the carpet for whatever mistake – no matter how small - he’d found in her work. “That letter to Mr. Valens had a typo in it,” he’d grind out in that deep, growly voice of his as he handed her the offending letter. “You know what that means, don’t you, Gabrielle?” Gabby would take the paper and see the red circled transposition of the “h” and the “t” in the word “the”, which she knew would have been caught if she’d remembered to spell check the blasted thing. “Yes, Sir, Mr. Thornton.” Somehow, the very formality of the address did something for her. Cade calling her by her full first name, partly casual, partly formal, but her responses very deferential and respectful. It reinforced his dominance over her in a very subtle, intimate way. She wasn’t wearing anything unusual – in fact, it was one of those dowdier suits she’d just bought – a straight skirted, double breasted gray number that was guaranteed to douse the libido of anyone within a thousand mile radius. But not his. She knew she would bite her lip as he sat there, her eyes on his as he required, his hands moving slowly, up each thigh, capturing the skirt in his ascend and making it pool at his wrists until he cupped her bare bottom around the elastic straps of the only hose he allowed her to wear – old fashioned stockings and garters, his large palms cupping her bottom with the confidence and easy of familiarity, watching every nuance of her feelings as they crossed her face.

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Gabby would fidget in that position – it was nearly impossible not to in that type of position, she was sure – moving back and forth on the balls of her feet, not trying to dislodge him, just translating her natural nervousness into movement. But she’d stop when he whacked her butt just once, hard, nothing having to say or do anything else to get her to stand still again. Then he’d push himself away from the desk, so that there was more than enough room for her to drape herself over his lap, knowing this was the only invitation she’d get before he started spanking again, and that those strokes given before she was in place wouldn’t count. “Did you lock the door?” he would ask as she tried to adjust herself more comfortably over his unyielding thighs. “Yes, Sir.” She was sure she wouldn’t even recognize her own voice. She wasn’t the submissive type, except in her fantasies. “Are you comfortable?” he would ask, because he might be her dominant, but he would always be concerned that the only place she hurt was at his behest and on her well roasted bottom. “Y-Yes, Sir.” At that he might tip her further forward, depending on how well she’d positioned herself, inquiring again as to her comfort, the position forcing her to put both hands on the thick carpeting to balance herself, thus not allowing her the luxury of reaching back without tying up his left hand. And when he was sure that all was right for her, he’d unclip her stockings from her garter, so that she wouldn’t even have the miniscule protection that those two slips of fabric would allow. And then he’d spread his hand over her bottom – almost all of it, because it was so big – and say, “And how many swats does a typo earn you, Gabrielle?” - 265 BacksideOfLove.com

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It was awful. The total went up by five swats every time she made one – not that she made a lot. Now it was up to an enormous amount. “Thirty-five, Mr. Thornton,” she’d whisper, but he wouldn’t let her escape with that, spanking her sharply once for trying to. “I didn’t hear you, Gabrielle. What did you say?” She’d clear her throat and say in a louder, but still small tone, knowing that, in doing so, she was going to cause him to start spanking her. “Thirty-five, Sir.” And he did.

~~~ Whenever she replayed that fantasy, she never got past the point where he began to spank her. It was just too much of a hot button for her, although Gabby could well imagine what might have come next, just getting to that point always made her convulse in pleasure, try as she might to carry it to the next logical part of the scene. Regardless, by Monday morning she was quite sure that she had pretty much worked one Mr. Cade Thornton out of her system for good. Or at least until she saw him in person again, apparently. She trained with Linda for a solid month, shadowing her at first, then gradually getting her hands dirty with the actual work of trying to keep Cade satisfied. He wasn’t an easy boss by any means. He didn’t much tolerate any sort of imperfections, although he wasn’t an ogre about it. He just let her know in no uncertain terms that that forgetting things or – she’d blushed profusely when - 266 BacksideOfLove.com

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it had happened – not spell checking things he was going to sign – was not going to be tolerated. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed that that was as far as it went, but, having gotten to know him a little better over the past few weeks, she thought she’d go with relieved. The man was massively strong and had a quick temper – although he got over it just as quickly. Gabby was quite sure that she never wanted to find herself in the position she’d imagined herself so often, even now. In fact, it was worse now, because she could add in little details she hadn’t known about him – like the fact that he smelled like some wonderful, spicy cologne when he came in in the mornings. And he had a pair of wire rimmed glasses that he wore only if he was going to be pouring over paperwork all day, that made him look very professorial. And nothing she’d learned about him in that time had done anything to dampen her desire for him in the least. Quite the contrary, to her deep chagrin. He was very gentlemanly, very protective, even of her. He’d adopted the idea of walking her to her car right along with Linda, and never treated her as if she was anything but a valuable member of his team, even when she did screw up, and even though she often thought he was looking at her as if he wanted to strip her down and take her, right there on the boardroom table. Of course, she knew that that was just her own fanciful imagination running wild, and, just as if to prove it, every time she looked back up at him, he was all business, and she knew she had to have been dreaming about seeing that very hungry look in his eyes. She did – on occasion – prove herself very worthy of the money he was paying her, like the time that the batteries died on Linda’s hand held cassette player, which she used to take the minutes of the board meetings. Gabby had, of course, been taking notes all the while in shorthand, on her steno pad, so she had saved - 267 BacksideOfLove.com

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the day, earning herself a literal pat on the back from the big man himself. Because of the urgency of Linda’s situation – they could both see how hard it was getting for her to walk, Cade had had to trust Gabby with a few things he really wasn’t sure he should have about some of the project he’d been working on – most particularly the new feed project, XL-17. But there was nothing that could be done for it. She’d checked out – he did a background check on all of his upper level – and even some of his lower level – employees, especially those who were going to come in contact with sensitive data that, if leaked, could endanger the financial future of the company. Gabrielle Magdalena Andolini was disgustingly, depressingly, squeakily clean. He’d figured that she’d probably already had to go through some sort of security check to work for the bank, and that had had to handle secure information there, too, but still. He wasn’t going to take any chances that he didn’t absolutely have to. She had never been married, wasn’t involved in anyone seriously, and as far as his private investigator could determine, she got up, worked, went home and repeated. On weekends, she shopped and did the normal errands. The only even remotely scandalous thing attached to her name were the card parties she either hosted or went to on Friday nights, but then Cade had already known about those through Linda, who was always raving about them –and Gabby - in the same breath.

~~~ One morning, though, he was sitting in his office, and neither his current nor his soon to be assistants had shown up, and it was well past eight, when he expected them to be there, - 268 BacksideOfLove.com

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especially since he’d been in since six. He had the office door open, and was keeping a sharp eye out for someone – anyone – and finally he leaned over to grab up the phone, just as it started ringing. “Thornton,” he answered sharply, not the mood for any sort of excuses the two might come up with. “This is Gabby. I’m down here in Linda’s car with her. She’s hurting so bad she can’t get out. I’m going to call her husband and take her home, then grab a cab back.” That was it. She broke the connection and he was left to sit there, open mouthed, asking questions of a dial tone. He was not happy – not with Linda for not going on maternity leave when she should have, and not with Gabby, for not calling sooner and for being so short with him, as if their roles were reversed and she was his boss. Not one to let things like this go on without him, Cade called one of his VPs and told her that he was going to be gone for the rest of the morning, co opted her secretary to rearranged any of his meetings, and drove out of the parking lot in his own big Caddy not long after the other two had left. He knew were Linda and Dave lived; he’d been there before. She always threw a Christmas bash, and he was always invited to it. Although he usually didn’t stay for long, he always put in an appearance and grabbed some of her world famous homemade chocolate cheesecake. He was uncomfortable around all those people he didn’t know very well, even thought a lot of them were his own employees, but Linda never put up with him just hanging around in a corner, so she always got him involved in whatever was going on. He liked Dave well enough, and heartily wished Dave had laid down the law to Linda about not working when she was in agony. - 269 BacksideOfLove.com

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But not every man took his woman in hand like he intended to. Grimacing darkly all the way, he caught up to them just as Gabby, who was smaller than Linda by far, especially at this point in her pregnancy, was trying to help Linda out of the car. He brushed Gabby out of the way and hunkered down beside the car, slipping his hands beneath Linda and extracting her with every possible gentleness, keeping her in the position she was already in, trying not to jar her. “Grab her keys,” he barked at Gabby, who did as she was told, rifling through Linda’s purse to come up with a keychain loaded down with a small flashlight, pepper spray, and, incongruously, a teddy bear. She held open the door and Cade strode into the foyer with Linda in his arms. “Which way?” he growled. “Down the hall, first door on the right,” Gabby supplied before Linda could. Linda looked as if she was in too much pain to speak, anyway. Once they had her as comfortably ensconced as they could, with Cade dancing attendance and looking as if he was hurting right along with her, Dave appeared on the scene, thanking the both of them profusely and stepping up to take care of his wife. Cade and Gabby hung back, making sure that they stayed the heck out of Dave’s more than capable way. But before they left, Cade said, “Is there anything we can do or get for you guys? Do you have to go get anything, Dave, and we’ll stay here and make damn sure she stays out of trouble?” Dave loved Linda, but he sure did know how much of a pain she could be. “Nope, we’re good. I’m going to make sure she sleeps as much as possible, but I wouldn’t count on her being in from this point on, no matter what.” Linda started to turn and - 270 BacksideOfLove.com

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protest, but Dave gave her an exceptional version of “the look”, for a vanilla man. “I don’t want to hear it from you, woman. You take it easy.” Cade joined in, too. “You are now officially on maternity leave, whether you want to be or not.” Linda growled angrily. “You two stop ganging up on me!” “Do as you’re told for once,” Cade added, without much hope. “And call me - ” he looked back at Gabby and corrected, “ – us – if you need anything.” “I’ll call you later,” Gabby yelled over her shoulder as Cade tugged her out of the room and back to his car. “Thank you for taking care of her,” he ground out grudgingly. “You’re welcome,” she answered sarcastically. Cade sighed, knowing that that had come out entirely wrong. “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at Linda for waiting until things got to a crisis point.” “Well,” Gabby defended, “she and Dave can’t afford for her to run out of maternity leave. I’d do the same thing, if I was her – work until I absolutely couldn’t before I took any time off.” His brows drew together over his eyes, making his face a dark scowl. “Not if you had a back like Linda’s and I had anything to say about it,” Cade answered immediately, and a lot more forcefully than he’d really intended. An involuntary shiver went up Gabby’s spine at his tone. She did have to give him points for the way he treated Linda. But he didn’t have anything to say about it, and she couldn’t let that - 271 BacksideOfLove.com

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comment just lie there, as if she agreed with it, saying calmly, “Well, you don’t.” If possible, his face got even darker as he answered cryptically, “You never know . .”

~~~ Overall, even though she kind of got thrown into the middle of things when Linda left abruptly, Gabby found herself really enjoying this job, and enjoying her boss even more so. They spent a tremendous amount of time together – especially working on that new project. He was often the first person she saw in the morning and the last one she saw before she went to sleep at night. She got to know him on a strangely intimate level. She knew that he liked kung pao chicken from Mr. Chow’s in town, but didn’t like the Mexican place that was just down the street. They often ate both lunch and dinner together, usually while slaving over the latest data on reams of computer printouts. She knew that he hated his VP of Advertising, although he respected the work she did, even though he had never once indulged in any sort of gossip or even really spoke to her about the woman. Gabby could hear it in the subtle changes in his tone when he spoke to her. Despite the fact that he was every inch the gentleman to every woman she’d ever seen him come into contact with, she couldn’t find any chauvinism in him at all. If anything, he almost went in the opposite direction. Female executives in this company often made more than their male counterparts, especially if they brought a lot of experience to the table. And three out of his four VPs were female. At one point, they actually went to the Circle T ranch, to where some of the new feed was being tested on a small control group of animals, and she got to meet his eldest brother, who was the chairman of the board of all of the conglomerate companies, and his wife, Hope. Everyone around town knew the story of the - 272 BacksideOfLove.com

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couple, and how Hope’s love had brought A.J. back to life. It was a lot like meeting minor celebrities. Hope had immediately issued an invitation to dinner to the both of them, which Gabby could see made Cade nervous, as if Hope had somehow overstepped some invisible boundary. That was all Gabby needed to carefully put her off, saying that she needed to get home this evening because of a prior commitment, but thanking her profusely nonetheless. Cade, who was eying her in a manner that had her heart in her throat, pled work, of course, and Hope didn’t waste a minute in getting on him about spending too darned much time doing just that. Having declined the invitation, didn’t seem to have earned her any points. In fact, he seemed down right angry at her, for some reason. They’d been together day and night for nearly four months, and she knew pissed off when she saw it – not that he made it much of a mystery, regardless. Cade brought it up as soon as they were back into the luxurious silver Mercedes convertible that she would have sworn he wouldn’t have been able to fit his long legs into. “You didn’t tell me you had something going on tonight. I thought that you were free to work, as usual.” “I am,” Gabby replied smoothly, although she was feeling anything but. She struggled not do knit her fingers together nervously on her lap or twirl her hair. She could feel the piercing glare he gave her as if he was physically grabbing her as he rapped out a question. The man missed his calling, she sniffed to herself. He should have been a barracuda of a lawyer. He didn’t miss a trick. “You lied to Hope? Why?” Gabby wasn’t going to back down, regardless of the fact that all she wanted to do was tuck and roll when he stopped at the next stop light. “Because I could see that the invitation made you uncomfortable and that you didn’t want to do it. So I got myself out of it.” - 273 BacksideOfLove.com

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The light turned red, and Gabby could see how he had the wheel in a death grip, and watched in horrified fascination – like a rabbit caught by the gaze of a wolf – as a muscle ticked in his jaw. “There was no need to lie about it, Gabrielle.” Damn! He sounded exactly as he did in all of her fantasies! “You could just as easily have told her that you had to work, like I did.” “I – I don’t know. Work seemed like an awfully flimsy excuse to me.” At the next stop, he turned and glared at her. If there had been room, she would have physically taken a step back from him. “I don’t like lies – even social lies. Is that understood?” “Yes, it is.” She valiantly resisted the impulse to add a “Sir” to that, frightened at how natural the impulse was. That didn’t seem to placate him much. He fumed about it until he drove into his reserved parking space at work. When Gabby turned to open her door, he stopped her with a strong hand on her upper arm. “I want to be completely straight with you, Gabby. I know we haven’t known each other for that long, but I want to get something out in the open. I’m attracted to you. And, frankly, it’s lucky for you that I haven’t acted on it, considering your little fib to Hope there. And believe me, you wouldn’t like what I did about it.” Gabby could not have been more surprised if he’d told her he was gay – on several fronts. Firstly, because he’d admitted to an attraction that she was already struggling against, although she was amazed to hear that he reciprocated, and second, because he said something that sounded suspiciously like a threat to spank her, without actually coming out and saying it. “I’m attracted to you, too,” she found herself saying without thinking about it first. It just came out, as if it refused to be tucked - 274 BacksideOfLove.com

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away and carefully suppressed any longer. “But I don’t think we should do anything about it,” she added, apparently finding the door handles fascinating. He considered her carefully, making her feel like a bug under a microscope. “We shouldn’t do anything about it because you’re in trouble right now, or just in general?” he asked, waving to employees who recognized him as they passed his car, but still managing to focus his intent attentions on her. Gabby wanted to melt into the upholstery, worried that someone might have heard what Cade had said, but he seemed to take it totally in stride. As much as she’d dreamed and fantasized about it, she didn’t want to be in trouble with this man. But had he just said he was attracted to her? Him? The mere thought was stunning. But she was right. She worked for him. They couldn’t do anything about it. It would be wrong to act on any sort of impulses along those lines, Gabby thought to herself as he leaned towards her and she conversely tried to back away. “You can’t kiss me here!” His eyebrows went up. “How do you know where I was going to kiss you?” Gabby frowned. “I mean in front of the entire company as they coming in to work! Everyone would know!” His eyebrows stayed up. “I intend that everyone would know. I’m too old to sneak around.” Gabby snorted. “You’re all of what, thirty something?” One eyebrow shot up in an expression she was all too familiar with, although it had never really been aimed at her. “As I said,” he stated firmly, “too old for sneaking around. I’ll date whomever I want to date, and that’s you.” - 275 BacksideOfLove.com

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Her snort caught him off guard. “Sorry. I’m not going to screw up a perfectly good job by dating my boss.” “Don’t think of me as your boss. Think of me as the man who’s going to swat your butt good if I ever find out you’ve lied again.” She tried to look completely indignant at the idea, but wasn’t sure she’d pulled it off. But apparently he didn’t much care. “Swat my butt, right - ” she mimicked derisively. “Damn straight. You heard me.” He paused and considered her thoughtfully for a moment. “Come to think of it, I think that little white lie has earned you a one way ticket over my knee once we reach the office.” He caught her eyes with his and said calmly and quietly, “Now that I know you’re attracted to me, Gabby, the gloves are off.” Cade got out of the car and came around to open her door, standing there imperiously, waiting for her to comply as she fussed and sputtered, saying inane things furiously under her breath that she had the sinking feeling weren’t going to dissuade him in the least. “You can’t possibly be serious! I’m a grown woman and you can’t treat me like that!”

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Chapter IV

C

ade didn’t so much as lower his voice when he responded, holding his hand out to her in silent command, as he responded in a dark, thick deliberate drawl, “Maybe if I spank you for it this time, you’ll remember the next time that I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior.” Not wanting to let him get away with speaking to her like that, she ignored his proffered paw and got out herself, yanking the door away from him and slamming it shut, proclaiming, “I most certainly do not.” Gabby stalked into the lobby and directly up to the elevator. Of course, there was no getting away from him. He was going to the same place she was, dammit. They were alone in the elevator and Gabby saw her opportunity and hit the “stop” button, turning to confront him bravely. She took a step towards him, struck all at once by the distinct difference in their sizes. This man could break her in half without thinking about it – yet she’d never seen him treat any woman in anything but the most courteous of manners. She had a hard time reconciling that imagine of him with his sudden revelation that he was a spanker. Despite that, she couldn’t quite say she was afraid of him, but her heart was banging away some place south of its usual position – as if it had lodged in her - 277 BacksideOfLove.com

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stomaching making her feel nervous and nauseous all at once. She had to get herself out of this. Fantasies were one thing. Reality was quite another. “You had better not touch me,” she warned, trying to be as business like as possible. Cade reached over and released the stop button, saying calmly, “Unless you’d like to give Henry the security guard something to giggle about, then I suggest we don’t get into that here.” He folded his arms across his impressive chest and looked pointedly into the camera that was hidden in a darkened bubble in the corner of the ceiling of the elevator, then back at her expectantly. Trying to fume furiously when her libido – and her imagination and her nerves – were running rampant within her – Gabby flatly refused to pay him any further attention, stalking to her desk well ahead of him. But as he walked by, Cade reached out and caught her wrist in a light but unbreakable grip, towing her along behind him into his office. Once he’d closed the door with an alarmingly final click, he brought her around behind his desk, flipped a switch under it, and sat down, pulling her onto his lap. Gabby popped up – or rather tried to, but she just found herself inexorably – but carefully - tugged back down. “Won’t Henry giggle at this?” “No. I just shut the cameras off.” She was still trying to lean away from him, but Cade wasn’t going to have any of that, either. Before she knew it, before she could really do anything to react or defend herself against him, he’d wrapped his arms around her and contracted them gently, requiring that she get closer to him than she had even fantasized about. All of her – by now – well worn fantasies had involved him spanking her, not holding her against that rock solid chest of his. When she dreamt about him, she was over his lap, not perched on it and finding it disgustingly comfortable. But Gabby had a horrible feeling that she wasn’t going to escape his gentle hold unscathed. - 278 BacksideOfLove.com

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His lips settled onto hers with absolutely no trace of tentativeness. Cade wanted her, and he wasn’t making any bones about it. His mouth slid across hers, finessing it open so that his tongue could claim her even further – not wetly marauding, but firmly encroaching where she wasn’t at all sure she wanted him to go! But her body certainly did. She was literally melting in his arms as he kissed her, claiming her mouth with devastating expertise. It was as if he’d looked into her very soul and memorized everything she ever wanted in a kiss, and then did it. He was firm but tender, his lips were dry but just right moist, and he was dominant but not overwhelming. Yet. Eventually, though, he leaned back, happy to realize that she wasn’t giving him the fight of his life just to kiss her. She could be so damned prickly sometimes! “I’m definitely going to spank you for lying to my sister in law, Gabby. The sooner you learn the rules, the better.” Rules?! She didn’t like the sound of that at all! Gabby immediately tried to squirm out of his arms, not that he let her. Instead, she found herself in the position she’d pictured so often when she was alone in her tub. Or alone in her bed, just before sleep. Or alone pretty much anywhere, fantasizing about him spanking her. And here it was, in full color reality. Staring down at that deep pile beige carpeting that was only about four inches from her nose was disgustingly sobering. Tantalizing, in a “what have I gotten myself into” way, she had to admit, but definitely sobering. Her bottom was already tingling in anticipation, along with the rest of that whole area, which conjoined some pretty sensitive spots. And she’d been right, imagining that when she was pushed that far forward, she had no choice but to use her hands to steady herself, and keep herself from landing on her head. - 279 BacksideOfLove.com

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“You can’t spank me!” she whined weakly, although it was pretty late for that. The snot had lured her into a false sense of security by kissing the breath out of her, then turned her over his lap as if he had every right, and he most certainly did not! “I can’t?” he asked, his voice infused with innocence that was a distinct lie. As if for emphasis, he swatted her, just once, hard. Gabby sputtered as her bottom burned bad from just that one contact between his broad palm and her small, rounded butt. Thank God she’d put on one of her dowdier suits this morning – they had a somewhat thicker fabric than anything that was truly stylish – not that it seemed to be doing her much good, but at least it was something between her delicate skin and his marauding hand. It was too hot for a slip, and she was wearing panties that were more decorative than functional as any sort of protection, dammit. Why couldn’t she have worn her armor plated granny panties today? “This is barbaric! This is assault! This is - ” Another smack, much harder than the first, that made her catch her breath and begin to entirely rethink what it was that had attracted her to him in the first place. “NO! You can’t do this! NO!” His chuckle was decidedly evil as he began to spank her in earnest. “You know, when they were constructing this building, I told them to make my office sound proof. I think they assumed it was because I didn’t want people hearing me yelling at my vice presidents or something like that. Little did they know . . .” It popped into her head – at the same time he was popping his hand sharply down onto her rear – that she might not be the first woman he had in this position in his office, and the idea that Linda might have been over his lap like this was extremely alarming. But not alarming enough that she could distract herself from the fierce heat and pain he was creating in her bottom.

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“I don’t hold with lying,” he lectured, as if he had every right to. “Social or otherwise. If you need a mental health day, that’s what I want you to call in and say you need. If you don’t want to go out with me because you’re just feeling cruddy, I don’t want you making up excuses about things that don’t exist. I don’t want you lying to anyone, Gabrielle, for any reason. If I catch you doing it again, you’re going to get it five times as bad as this, because then you will have deliberately defied me. And you’re not going to have the protection of all of these layers of fabric, either, I can assure you.” Damn! Was this man reading the same things she was? He was too darned good for her own good! Her butt was afire, and so were parts of her that he hadn’t really gone near, and it confused her, put her a bit off kilter because she hadn’t really considered how much it was going to hurt to be spanked by a man of his size – and very surprised that the pain it hadn’t completely killed any remnants of her desire. But it hadn’t. Oh, it was well buried, but the tingle was most definitely there, despite the fact that she was yelling her head off with each and every dullish smack of his broad palm down onto her cringing bottom. At least he’d had the decency not to try to bare her butt – this time, apparently - she supposed she should consider herself lucky on that count. Lucky, however, wasn’t at all how she was feeling. Well spanked came a lot closer to defining her state of mind, especially considering that nothing she said, nothing she did - no promises of personal or legal retribution, no outrageous threats about personally inflicting bodily harm on him in return, that she couldn’t hope to live up to considering the disparity in their sizes – seemed to sway him in the least. He had it in his mind that he was going to thoroughly spank her, and she could do absolutely nothing but lie there as he dished it out. And yet he stopped very short of anything that she could truly consider abusive in the least. He didn’t even touch her - 281 BacksideOfLove.com

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anywhere that was particularly inappropriate, if one overlooked the inherent inappropriateness of the target area itself. If she had to admit it, Gabby thought as she lay there, panting and sobbing over his relentlessly unyielding lap, with that horrid weapon of a hand lying almost innocuously over her throbbing rear, she hadn’t felt this safe in a very long time – this attended to. This noticed and understood. It was one of the reasons she’d generally stopped dating. No one she’d encountered had even come close to offering her that backbone of safe, loving discipline. In fact, she hadn’t met anyone she had felt comfortable even broaching that subject with. It was so intimate that, as far as she was concerned – and not that she slept around at all – it trumped sex by a long shot. And, as it was, she had been in the running for nun of the year for nigh onto the past decade, anyway. Her friends blamed it on impossibly high standards, and eventually stopped throwing men at her, since the singular dates they set her up on never seemed to go anywhere. But Gabby knew what she needed from a relationship, and she wasn’t going to settle for second best. She wasn’t going to get married just to say she had been, or, even worse than that, just to have the fun of indulging herself in being a bride and planning the wedding of her dreams. She had pretty much given up the idea that she was ever going to find anyone who might not run screaming from her when she told them what she wanted from a relationship – someone who wasn’t afraid to stand up to her, to lay down the law and back it up on her bottom, if necessary. A strong man, to more than match and compliment, her own strengths. Men like that were scarce as hens’ teeth nowadays. But it seemed she had found one. Or rather, one had found her. She lay there, trying to get her breath back, wishing she hadn’t cried – not that there’d been much of a choice – because she - 282 BacksideOfLove.com

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knew how damned ugly she was when she blubbered, and she’d most definitely blubbered from the first spank to the last. The evidence of that fact wasn’t just still rolling down her face. It was pooled beneath it, in the dark stain on the tan rug directly beneath her. This man knew his stuff – at little too well, even. She hadn’t had to dance around the subject for several dates, worried that she’d lose him completely merely by introducing the topic. Nope. He’d taken matters into his big, painfully hard and strong hands. He hadn’t asked, he hadn’t vacillated; he’d seen what he’d deemed needed doing and done it. Therein lay the crux of – one of – her current dilemmas: did she ask him how many hundreds of others had graced his lap, this very spot above the tear dampened rug? Or did she suck it up and keep her mouth shut, not wanting to rock the boat and lose what she’d gained? Gained? She thought, moving experimentally, gingerly, as he kept her gently in place without a word, just applying the slightest pressure on her well roasted nates. Her well roasted, still cloth covered nates. Dear God, what would the man do to her if he ever had access to her bare bottom? Gabby shuddered delicately at the thought, prompting him to ask immediately, “Are you all right?” She was upright in a second, sitting on the lap she’d just been over, cradled to him as if he truly treasured her. “No,” she answered, sounding completely petulant. “I’m not. My butt hurts.” “Poor sweetie,” he murmured against the top of his head, and she almost believed he meant it. For a long time, for a very long time, considering they were on his dime, he simply held her, rocking them both slightly back and forth, rubbing her back and reached down to free her hair from its vicious bun, running his fingers through it slowly, hypnotically. - 283 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Well, hon, we’d better get back to work, as much as I’d prefer to just sit here like this for the rest of the day.” He patted her bottom proprietarily, and eased her off his lap, steadying her when her legs seemed to rebel against the idea of supporting her. He opened a drawer and took out a folder, handing it to her before she was too far away from him. “Here. This is yours to do with as you please. It’s all of the forms necessary to sue me and Thornton Industries for sexual harassment for having spanked you.” He reached out and caught her hand, and when he spoke, she had to strain to hear that velvety rumble. “But I think you just got exactly what you need. And so did I. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew, and I want to get to know you better, in a more conventional manner, as well.” Unable to swallow around the lump in her throat, and clutching the apparent evidence that he had done this before – probably many times – Gabby decided she didn’t have much to loose by confronting him. “So . . . you do this enough that you’ve actually written up a packet to give the women you spank?” Cade chuckled. “Not likely. I had this put together years ago. I knew what I wanted – I knew you’d come along eventually, but if I’m off my mark, I wanted to be prepared. You’re the first woman I’ve done that to in a very long while. Since college, actually, when I indulged myself a bit more than I probably should have.” He sounded as if he was telling the truth, and she certainly did know how he felt about lying, so she boldly asked the question that had been plaguing her since he’d first mentioned spanking her, “You’ve never spanked Linda, then?” His deep frown told her everything he needed to know. “Linda and I do not have that type of relationship. She’s married, and if she gets spanked – and I have to confess that at times I think she really needs it – that’s up to Dave.” Cade got up and gathered her into his arms, tipping up her chin so that she couldn’t avoid his eyes. “Just for the record, I don’t go around spanking people – - 284 BacksideOfLove.com

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much less my secretary. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty much all business when I’m here.” A sly grin spread across his face. “Except with you, apparently. You inspire it in me.” He dropped a kiss on her lips and returned to his chair. “By the way, in case you hadn’t realized it, we are now officially dating.” Gabby’s shoulders slumped, although her heart leapt from her tummy to her throat. “But - ” “No buts, Gabrielle. We’re going out on our first official date this Friday night – so you’ll have to tell your pals to meet somewhere else. I’m taking you out to Confetti, and then maybe dancing. Wear something slinky.” Gabby snorted. “I’m going to wear something in Kevlar, thank you very much,” she quipped, still rubbing her bottom as she walked to her own desk.

~~~ Gabby was on cloud nine. Hell, she was on cloud nine thousand, seven hundred and forty two. Cloud nine was for chumps. She and Cade were dating – had been for the past month or so. They saw each other at work ten to twelve hours a day, and then spent the rest of their evening either eating dinner together wherever was still open, or, if they were both exhausted, chatting on line or talking on the phone until all hours. She hadn’t made it to a Tripoli game in weeks, and didn’t much feel the lack, although her friends were about driving her crazy for details of what was going on between herself and Cade. Linda, who had delivered a healthy baby girl she and Dave named Lily Rose, knew exactly what was going on, and when she got together with Gabby she had to hide her tendency towards self congratulations. She knew Gabby wouldn’t appreciate knowing she’d been subtly manipulated – she’d appreciate it just about as - 285 BacksideOfLove.com

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much as Cade would. Dave was the only person she got to subject to that. Once they were safely married, she’d lay claim to having brought them together – which she had. But not until the ink was dry on the marriage certificate. Her momma didn’t raise no fools. But the blissful look on her friend’s face was – for now – more than enough payment. “So. Tell me everything.” Linda didn’t even bother with the formalities of “hello, how are you”. She wanted Gabby to get directly to the good stuff as she slid into a booth at McLeod’s. It was a great place for lunches – catering to the office staff nearby and running specials on smaller versions of their usual gigantic dinner portions. And, since it was a steakhouse, it was naturally low carb friendly. “Well, hello to you, too,” Gabby quipped with absolutely no malice. She was too disgustingly happy to snipe much. “Yeah, yeah, how are you, I’m fine, baby’s fine, Dave’s fine, spill your guts. We’re getting older here.” She eschewed the menu the hostess had left. She had every item long since memorized. She’d often thought they should just put in a permanent booth with her name on it; she ate there so often, at least when she was working. Gabby had to laugh at Linda’s comical eagerness. She’d kept the other woman somewhat informed about what had been going on between herself and Cade, but between Gabby’s work and Linda’s baby and . . . well . . . Cade, they hadn’t had a chance to get together until now. “Oh, Linda, what can I say? He’s the one. I know he’s the one. He’s wonderful.” Linda had thought she’d never hear her best friend gushing like this about a man, but it was about damned time. She and Dave were well past the gushing part of their relationship, but it was great to relive it through someone else. “Tell me everything. Are you still doing low carb? You look like you’ve lost weight.” - 286 BacksideOfLove.com

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Gabby paid no mind to the non sequiturs that were a normal part of their conversations, and blushed brightly, murmuring, “That depends. Do you think Cade counts as a carb?” Linda’s eyes bugged. “You’re kidding me? And you always seemed like such a good girl – you’re not doing that already? Have you slept together already? Am I old, or what, thinking people still waited before they slept together?” “Yes, you’re old,” Gabby returned without batting an eyelash. “But I already knew that. And yes, people are doing a helluva lot more than that on the first date, although I don’t, and, thankfully, neither does he. I was just pulling your leg.” She leaned forward, as if she was going to share a state secret with her friend. “I’ve been holding him off. Next Friday, we’re going to Vegas for the long weekend, and that’s where it’s going to happen for the first time.” “I’m glad you’re not hopping into bed with him at first sight. The man has ego enough without that.” Gabby nodded. “Yep – he’s not suffering in that department any,” she had to agree, although he certainly wasn’t a jerk or anything. Cade just didn’t suffer from any sort of lack of self confidence whatsoever. He was quite sure that what he was doing was right – especially when it involved spanking his woman. Gabby certainly wasn’t going to discuss that part of their relationship with Linda, who most certainly wouldn’t understand it – although she might find it somewhat intriguing. Linda probably would have taken him up on the packet of sexual harassment paperwork. Come to think of it, Gabby thought, she should have realized that Linda would have sued the pants off of him in a heartbeat if Cade had touched her like that. On occasion – especially when her bottom was burning from yet another session over his lap – Gabby had to admit that that - 287 BacksideOfLove.com

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sounded like a very appealing solution. Cade took his responsibilities toward her seriously – almost too much so, as far as Gabby was concerned. He wasn’t obnoxious at all, or in the least abusive, but his emphasis on her health and safety had gotten her spanked much more often than she would have ever thought. When she’d let herself consider what a spanking relationship might be like, she had figured that her partner would end up practically making up reasons to give her a punishment. But not Cade. Not by a long shot, and sometimes, when he informed her that she was going to get it again – the second or third night in a row, that packet, which had remained tucked in the back of her bottom desk drawer – began to look better and better. But then again, no. She was in the process of discovering just how wonderful it was to have a strong, capable, unbelievably sexy man watching over her. And, as of this weekend, he was going to be doing a lot more than just watching.

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Chapter V

B

ut spanking wasn’t the only thing Cade knew how to do for a woman – not by along shot, Gabby knew, even though she hadn’t gotten the full Monty from him quite yet. He was a damned fine kisser, for one thing. She would swear that she came awfully close to completion some times just from that. He had been remarkably patient with her about the fact that she refused to sleep with him until they’d gotten to know each other better on a purely personal level. He had rolled his eyes when she’d said that – because of the amount of time they’d already spent together, which he’d, of course, pointed out to her. But Gabby wouldn’t be dissuaded. This relationship was important to her. She didn’t want to screw it up in any way. She wanted to take it slow. Apparently, however, she’d reached the end of that slim tether he kept her on, because last Sunday, the weekend before the Presidents’ Day long weekend, he’d stood in her tiny foyer and kissed her, long and deep, then pulled back enough to murmur against her lips, teasing her with it even as he was wresting the control he’d given her away, “I’m taking you away to Vegas next weekend, honey. I’m sick of dancing around it. Vegas is a pretty fun place, even if the only thing you’re going to see is the inside of - 289 BacksideOfLove.com

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the hotel room.” His thick arms looped around her waist, not letting her get away as she pushed against his muscles. It didn’t make a difference where she pushed on him, the man was built like a brick outhouse. Gabby was rapidly coming to the conclusion that her preference for large, muscular men was not always an advantage – especially not in the case where the powerful man had a tendency towards stubbornness, a right arm that more closely resembled her thigh, and the unwavering will to use it. Judiciously, of course, but use it none the less. “Vegas?” Gabby squeaked, trying – but not very hard to avoid those wonderful lips of his. As if the steady stream of flowers – never anything but lavender roses, which were her favorite and something that she had only mentioned once, early on in the course of a casual conversation – candies – from imported Belgian to domestic truffles to a dollar-ninety-eight tub of cotton candy, because she’d mentioned in the grocery store that she loved it, but hadn’t had it in years. He tried to buy her jewelry, but had begun with an expensive diamond tennis bracelet, which she had gently, but insistently, refused. Now he stuck to smaller things – the occasional unusual item if they ended up at the mall, but generally he restrained himself severely when it came to buying her anything that she might possibly decide was too expensive. The presents very carefully didn’t appear often enough that she would be able to object to that, despite the fact that he wanted to overwhelm her with anything he could possibly get her. Sometimes a whole week went by without any thing appearing on her doorstep or in the top right drawer of her desk – not including the fact that he very chauvinistically refused to let her pay for anything when they went out. She’d tried – valiantly, even – but then he’d lowered both his brows and his chin and that was the end of that brief stab at women’s lib. But, overall, the man listened and learned depressingly well, as if that steel trap mind was categorizing each of her likes and dislikes and filing them away for future reference. - 290 BacksideOfLove.com

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Unfortunately Gabby, as smart as she was – didn’t seem to have the same abilities, if one judged by the number of times she ended up over his lap. And he wasn’t fussy about where they were. He’d spanked her in his office frequently enough, but he’d also pulled her across his lap in his roomy SUV, on the couch in her apartment, and once he’d even patted her bottom in distinct promise while they were wandered through a mall together and she tried to argue with him about something. All he’d needed to do to make her purse her lips and blush deeply was place three well aimed taps on her bottom. Gabby had been quite sure that the entire population of the entire mall had been looking at her butt right then, and she’d hidden her face against his chest, breathing deeply of that wonderful scent she was becoming familiar with – Cade Thornton. It was a combination of confidence, sandalwood, deodorant, and pure, unadulterated, unapologetic masculine capability. And although she’d put up a token protest when he’d taken matters into his own hands and decided that they were going to spend the weekend together in Vegas, obviously to consummate their relationship. Frankly, Gabby thought he’d been more than patient with her, considering the heat the two of them generated in his car, or her apartment, or his surprisingly down to earth house in a Joe Average neighborhood. But then, she was learning not to be surprised at anything this man did or said. He was one of a rare breed – he meant what he said and he said what he meant. He didn’t pull his punches – not even with her. Probably less so with her than with any other person on the planet. And he wanted her. Gabby couldn’t believe what was happening between them, and spent a lot of time pinching herself. He’d been much more patient about her moratorium on sex, and she’d been biding her time, figuring he wasn’t going to put up with it forever. After - 291 BacksideOfLove.com

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they’d been dating – on and off line and on and off the phone – for about a month and a half, she knew that any time he decided he wasn’t going to acquiesce to her requirements any longer was fine with her, but she wasn’t going to make some formal announcement that the ban was lifted, either, despite the fact that he was most diligent about learning her sensual likes and dislikes. He learned – sometimes by careful cajoling and a broad indulgent smile at her bright blush and sometimes by adventurous experimentation – what made her shudder against him, how to slowly drag the tip of his index finger over those flimsy lace bras she favored, not so much as pausing at her indrawn breath as he glided over her distended nipple and down her flanks before coming back up to torment it’s twin. He knew that Gabby thought she was too well endowed there, but he assured her with his best cave man impression that there was no such thing. They stayed at the Excalibur Resort Hotel, in a huge suite. As Cade tipped the bellhop for carrying in their bags, she wandered to the windows where the young man had drawn the curtains to reveal a spectacular view of the city and the famous Strip. Cade came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, his mouth pressed to that ultra sensitive spot beneath her ear as he murmured, “I’m almost sorry you’re not going to see anything of Vegas except this hotel room.” Then he turned her in his arms and growled, “Almost,” as he took her mouth with his. Gabby wasn’t sorry. She wasn’t sorry at all. They stood there, in front of that panoramic view, for a few long, fevered moments. Cade whispered as he devoured the slim column of her neck, “I’m going to try to make this last as long as humanly possible,” he paused significantly at her collarbone, then reached for the first button on her blouse as he bared his soul in the quiet confession, “You know I’m a man who likes to be in control of himself and everything around him.” Her shirt hung open, but he didn’t rush in, didn’t grope or grab or even claim. Instead, he tilted her chin up, bringing deep blue eyes to surprisingly turbulent - 292 BacksideOfLove.com

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black ones. “But as much as I’d like to spend several hours doing nothing but kissing you, I want you too badly. We’re both still fully clothed and I’m about to explode right here in front of the entire town.” Cade reached out and captured her small hand, bringing it to his rock hard erection where it even managed to tent the front of his jeans. He nuzzled the hair at her temple. “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want you. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in I don’t know how long.” She could hear him sucking in a deep, heavy breath, yet those gossamer kisses along her hairline was almost their only point of contact. She didn’t know if that was because he really didn’t trust himself or not, but she knew one thing bone deep: she trusted him. Gabby was no virgin to be coy and demure and make him wait because she was afraid of them coming together on the most basic, most intimate level possible. She wanted him, too, and although she was definitely rusty, she wanted – needed – to make sure that he understood that. So she took a small step forward, still cupping him, feeling his hips rocking less and less gently into her welcoming palm, until she withdrew it, tucking it under the hem of his maroon golf shirt along with her other hand, her fingertips resting gently against those rippled abs, then, excruciatingly slowly, those fingers and palms began to move upwards, over his stomach and ribs to lie over his pecs like some conquering heroine. Two small, impudent thumbs began to brush against his tiny nipples with a pressure that was not soft, not hard . . . just right to make his entire body contract. Gabby smiled as she realized she’d caused those massive fists of his to clench where they hung at his hips. She’d been learning about him, too.

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But there was only so much a human male could take, and she’d reached his limit in record time. Cade lifted her up into his arms before she had a chance to protest, striding to the bedroom and reaching down to flick the comforter onto the floor, opening the bed with incredible dexterity before gently depositing her on her back on the silky sheets and following her down onto the big king sized bed. Her blouse naturally fell open, and he made short work of it, as well as her bra. In seconds, and with very little movement on his part, he had her naked beneath him, and as he settled onto her, still fully dressed, placing himself in that extremely intimate position, still clothed, in hopes that it would help him regain some control. Gabby, on the other hand, was thoroughly enjoying how submissive she felt being naked beneath him, feeling his denim covered erection pressing against her moist, delicate parts, even though he hadn’t given her a choice about it. Once he’d disposed of her pants and panties, dropping them off the nearest edge of the bed, he’d insinuated himself between her legs, his very size forcing her to open in an almost obscene welcome, which he took immediate advantage of, settling his hips over hers and leaning towards her for a fervent kiss as he began to rock slowly back and forth, rubbing himself against her, teasing her and taking every possible advantage of her exposed position to bring her every molecule of pleasure he could manage. When she began to lift her hips to meet him, when her eyes drifted shut and her head began to move restlessly back and forth, every pleasured movement she made went to his already throbbing cock. Cade intended to feast on her all weekend long. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he said that he didn’t intend that she would see anything of Vegas but the hotel. He was going to indulge every prurient impulse he’d had while he’d been waiting for her to lift that damn moratorium. He was going to make her scream and cry and claw his back to ribbons. And he was going to love every single minute of it. - 294 BacksideOfLove.com

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Gabby was completely – blissfully – unaware of his nefarious intentions. She was too busy thinking that he might not be the only one who had a hard time not reaching a premature conclusion. She didn’t know just how long she was going to be able to stand what he was doing to her. Their pleasure play had gotten remained relatively innocent – even over the past week when they both knew what was going to happen this weekend. Only Cade’s strong will had kept her front surrendering herself too him long before this night. He wanted their first time to be special, and despite the fact that the two of them were randier than two teenagers on Prom Night. Just as she was getting to that point of no return, he lifted himself on his arms and reached down to his zipper, arranging himself and slipping into a condom in one smooth motion, but apologizing at the same time. “I’m sorry. I just can’t wait any longer.” Gabby was already shaking her head. “Don’t apologize, please! I can’t wait another moment, either.” Cade could see the truth in her eyes. She was right there with him – and if he needed any further proof of that he found it when he reached down to position himself before her, he couldn’t resist slipping his finger inside her just a bit, relieved when she christened his finger generously, and dragging some of that sweetest of nectars up to her trembling button. Gabby couldn’t suppress a groan as that work roughened finger worried that most delicate of areas mercilessly. “No, Cade, please, don’t - ” He stopped immediately, whispering, “What’s wrong?” Thoroughly embarrassed, Gabby sputtered, “I – I don’t want to – I want to wait until you’re . . .” She couldn’t quite bring herself to finish the sentence. - 295 BacksideOfLove.com

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She could see the almost wolfish smile that spread across his face as he began to slowly press towards her, watching her eyes carefully as he inched his way inside her, nearly bursting with each caught breath. Cade had the usual Thornton sized endowment, and Gabby was so small beneath him; he was a little concerned about her. But he was alert to any sign of discomfort, and all he heard were sighs and the occasional long, low moan, until he was nearly there, nearly buried inside her to the absolute hilt, and then those small, delicate hands clamped down on his shoulders suddenly and she seemed to be distressed. Despite the fact that it nearly killed him, he stopped advancing immediately. “Are you okay?” The concerned look in his eyes melted her heart. If she hadn’t already been more than half in love with him – from first sight – that would have done it right there. And that didn’t even take into consideration that the man had stopped dead still at a time that was darned near impossible for any man to do so. “I’m fine. I’m fine,” she reassured quickly, surprised at how breathless she sounded. “I’m just . . . trying to adjust.” She bit her lip. “You’re – uh, big, and I’m – uh - ” “Tight.” It came out much more tersely than he had intended, but then, he was trying to keep himself in check. But Gabby seemed to understand. “You don’t have to stop. My body’s made for you,” she whispered, staring directly into his eyes as he lost that war with himself and flexed his hips forward. Cade finally, slowly sank those last few inches, until he was buried within her to the hilt, completely surrounded by all of that incredible heat. He couldn’t wait, couldn’t take a moment to enjoy it, though, his body wouldn’t let him. Luckily, she didn’t seem to expect that he would. Gabby met him stroke for stroke, raising her hips to his each time, grabbing a hold of him as if he was the only - 296 BacksideOfLove.com

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solid thing in her world, arching almost violently beneath him at one point until her plaintive moans became out and out screams. It was her raw, unfettered, uncensored response that made him answer her cries of absolute pleasure with his own guttural groans as he spilled himself inside her before collapsing just to one side, not wanting to crush her with his weight, but keeping one big arm around her waist, just in case she might get some sort of a wild hair while he was trying to recover and decide to try to go somewhere without him. Finally back to the remnants of his right mind, he contracted that arm – expending just about all the energy he could muster at this point – to bring her even closer to him as he turned onto his side to cuddle her against him. “It’ll be longer the next time,” he drawled very, very, slowly, and Gabby was certain he was going to fall asleep on her – not that she was going to take him to task for that if he did. She, on the other hand, was energized. She wanted to get up and do something, although she knew he wasn’t about to allow it. Instead, she contented herself by indulging her need to touch him, which was something she’d suppressed practically from the moment they’d met. Gabby found him endlessly fascinating on all levels, and she wasn’t going to pass up the chance to learn all of the almost sleeping giant’s most intimate spots. As her palm connected with a bulging shoulder, she said the words to herself in her mind. She loved him. This man was the be all and the end all for her, and even if it didn’t end up happily ever after – she couldn’t quite bring herself to even wish for that; it was too important to her – she would still treasure every single second she had with him. Their backgrounds were so different, and even though he never made a big deal about it at all, she worried that that might get in their way in the long run. - 297 BacksideOfLove.com

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But right now, for this moment and as long as she could possibly eke out, he was hers, and she was going to take full advantage of that fact. She loved him. Her eyes dripped tears that were easily hidden by her hair and the pillow case. She didn’t want him thinking that he’d hurt her, or she was unhappy in any way. She wasn’t. She was just filled to bursting with the love of him, but it was a wonderful agony. Cade could feel her hands exploring him tentatively at first, then more boldly, and he simply lay there, letting her do her worst. He was in that twilight area – not quite asleep, not quite awake, deeply sated and satisfied and content to let his woman have her way – for the moment. It was – moments later – when she decided to follow the tracks of her fingers with her lips that several parts of him became more awake. Even the parts that weren’t really supposed to so quickly. But this was Gabby, and he shouldn’t really have been so surprised. He responded to her in the most primitive of manners. A lot of the time, he felt like some barely civilized caveman around her. He wanted to keep her completely to himself and not let any man so much as look at her. He wanted to keep her naked and arching and keening beneath him. He wanted to know she was his, in the most elemental ways that a man could possess a woman, and the will to get and keep her gelled right then and there within him. He wasn’t going to take the chance that someone else might snatch her up. It was just as she pushed him – with his consent, of course – over onto his back and gently wrapped those slim fingers around the very heart of him, cupping him with a care he’d rarely experienced, as if he – at six two and two hundred and whatever pounds – was made of some fine, breakable china. Her very conscious care and her uncharacteristic boldness had him hardening to full capability instantaneously within the - 298 BacksideOfLove.com

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cage of her soft fingers. She leaned forward and laid her cheek on his chest, and as she stroke him, almost innocently and curiously, he ran his hands lazily through the fine hair at her temple, although lazy wasn’t really the way he was feeling. He wanted to grab her hips and drag her beneath him again, but he thought it might be too soon, and he didn’t want to be ungentlemanly. Well, he did, but he wouldn’t. She solved his dilemma a few minutes later by straddling him, placing the heat and heart of her right over him, but not letting him reach his goal yet. Instead, she leaned over and pinched each of his nipples, making him arch and growl violently in warning. Her huge smile was entirely unrepentant; in fact she repeated her tantalizing assault, until she finally surrounded one of his nipples with her mouth and suckled hard. “Gabby.” “Yes?” she answered innocently, daring to bat her thick black eyelashes at him as if her halo didn’t burn. “I’m only going to give you another few minutes to play, and if you haven’t done what needs to be done by then, I’m going to take the choice out of your hands.” She almost pouted. He was so blasted dominant! She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised, considering what he was like out of bed. But still. Gabby did have to admit, though, that she liked it. When he’d said he was going to take the choice out of her hands, her whole body had contracted, as if just hearing that promise created an orgasm within her. Not wanting to give him the chance to take things over, she only indulged herself a little while longer before sitting back a bit and moving her hands between her legs, intent on guiding him inside her. - 299 BacksideOfLove.com

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But Cade had other ideas. He knew that it was going to drive the both of them absolutely crazy, but he did it anyway, reaching out lightening fast to grasp each of her wrists and hold them at her sides, pulling down just a bit. “No. No hands,” he decreed. Gabby’s eyes went wide. “No hands?” She tested his grip experimentally, and found that there wasn’t an ounce of give in him. “You heard me,” he whispered, maneuvering her arms and thus her shoulders back a bit, forcing her to arch her back and present those luscious breasts of hers in almost obscene prominence. Cade knew he was crazy to tease himself like this, but he couldn’t resist making her whimper like she had when she’d realized that he was completely serious. Gabby knew she was presenting an atrociously lewd picture, gyrating and working her hips around him to get him and herself into just that right position, but he certainly seemed to be enjoying himself. When he was finally in place, he consolidated his grip on her arms and moved his hands upwards, tugging down a bit, forcing her to accept him, always searching her face for any signs of distress of discomfort, although there were none, only those delightful squeaks and groaning sighs as he filled her completely, and excruciatingly slowly, inch by thick, hard inch.

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Chapter VI

T

heir three day weekend was an incredible eye opener to Gabby. She hadn’t been with a man full time in a very long time, and Cade was one overwhelming man, in more ways than just physically. It seemed as if he had taken over her whole life – not in a bad way, just in the usual way that a couple who have just found each other. Except that they were not only together in the evenings for hours on end, but then they saw each other all day at work too. And it worked for them. Gabby had had serious reservations about letting the people at work know what was going on between them – and she had been very tentative when she’d broken the news to Linda one Saturday when she’d spent some time over at her house one evening, playing Auntie to the baby. Linda, of course, had taken the news completely in stride when Gabby had told her a good while later, despite the fact that Gabby hadn’t let on to anyone exactly what it was that was going on between herself and Cade. Linda had sat back very quietly while engineering the entire thing, but she was a somewhat superstitious person, and she didn’t intend to reveal her part in things until after the couple had said their “I do’s”. Perhaps well after, considering the current divorce rate.

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Gabby had her suspicions, but didn’t say anything. She was too enthralled with Linda and Dave’s baby daughter to let herself dwell too much on Linda’s potential – or rather, highly probable – meddling. And too bone deep thankful, if she had. The baby was just gorgeous, every healthy pink baby soft scent of her. “If you keep playing your cards right,” Linda commented, eying the way Gabby was playing with Adriana, “you could have your own inside of a year.” Gabby scoffed loudly, then zerberted the baby’s stomach just as loudly. Linda had all of the things that Gabby was only just realized she’d missed – a rock solid husband, a nicely appointed, although not terribly big or expensive house, and the regulation three children. She’d never dwelt on those things, because she didn’t have them, and didn’t have any likelihood of getting them, as far as she could tell. “I don’t think so. I’m going to enjoy the time I have with Cade, but eventually he’s going to find someone who’s more of his . . . social set than I am.” It was Linda’s turn to scoff. “This is not Regency England, dearie. He can marry anyone he wants to, and it seems to me, considering how many card nights you’ve missed in the past months and the fact that the two of you have been holing –“ she put particular prurient emphasis on that word, knowing it would make Gabby turn bright red, “that you two can’t get enough of each other. Considering that each of you was on your own particular track toward being completely asexual – fussbudgets as you are about the opposite sex – that this is something that’s pretty darned serious.” Gabby was suddenly sober. “It is. I love him. But it’s kind of one of those cases where you’re afraid to dream about the best? You know, in school, even if I kind of knew I aced a test, I’d always just figured I got a C, and if I got an A that was so much the better. If I flunked, it wasn’t that hard to accept, you know, because I hadn’t been counting on the A.” - 302 BacksideOfLove.com

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Linda was not impressed with that philosophy in the least. “You two are tailor made for each other, and I think it would be a crying shame if you didn’t get together on a more permanent basis than being . . .” she leaned over and covered the baby’s ears as she said it, “being fuck buddies.” The stunned look on Gabby’s face at her friend’s use of such a term was well worth any discomfort she had in using it. Linda did not condone the use of vulgarities by anyone, especially herself. Gabby was wearing an amused grin as she picked up the baby and asked almost accusatorily, “Where’d you pick up that phrase?” Linda huffed, taking the baby from her friend and putting her down in the crib. “You’re not the only one who goes on the Internet, you know.” Except for what might be required in the line of what had been her job, Linda detested computers in general. “Oh, I highly doubt you read that term anywhere on line, girlie girl. I know you. You might get your email and chat some with me or whoever, but I would eat my hat if you can tell me with a straight face that you’ve been to a site that had that kind of language.” She gave her friend her own version of the look. “Unless you’re just a big old porn queen and you’re hiding it well.” Gabby knew she was walking a fine line here. She was the one in this conversation who had been to objectionable sites. Not Linda. And Linda couldn’t pull it off. “Well, I do go on the Internet, but you’re right. Dave used the term.” She wasn’t at all sure she wanted to know in what context he’d said it, so Gabby deftly changed the subject. “So. Did Dave get snipped?” “Damn straight he did. I think three kids is three too many, some days.” She turned the light off in the baby’s room after fussing a bit cleaning up a few things, then turned to glare back at - 303 BacksideOfLove.com

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her friend as she led the way into her beautiful, homily decorated living room, where they were anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Pizza Hut delivery man. “Don’t be thinking I’m going to let you off the hook that easily, Gabrielle. I think you want a lot more from Cade than just the physical stuff.” As she sank down into the overstuffed sectional, Gabby sighed. “And you’re right. I do. But neither of us has said those three magic words yet, and I’m not at all sure that I want to hang myself out there and be the first.” She refused to look at her friend. Somehow, intimate confessions were much more easily made when one had one’s eyes closed, or at least was looking at something neutral – like the ceiling. “Frankly, if he asked me to marry him tomorrow, I’d say yes before he had a chance to get the words out. But then, like I said, he’s never given me any indication beyond the physical.” The doorbell rang, and Linda took their pooled money to the door, giving the man a nice tip and leading the way to the dining room. She wasn’t about to let anyone get pizza sauce on her good furniture. Her two older children were with Dave’s parents tonight, and he was downstairs in their den – where he could eat all the pizza he liked on their ratty old sofa, and watch all the football he could stomach in front of their fifty one inch television. The living room was where she entertained real guests – not usually family disguised as guests, like Gabby, but she’d made an exception, until the pizza arrived. They ended up eating at her comfortable snack bar, with big thick slices of meat lovers providing the artery clogging sustenance. “Does he walk you to your car?” Her friend’s snort was answer enough. “But you told me he used to do that with you, too. He has a big overprotective streak where women are concerned.” “Yes, but he’s not escorting the girls from accounting out, you’ll notice. It’s the women who are close to him that get that - 304 BacksideOfLove.com

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treatment. Those he cares about. Have you had sex in the office yet?” Linda asked, as if it was a foregone conclusion. Gabby looked outraged, but really couldn’t pull it off. “Uh . . .” Linda raised an eyebrow, almost in a challenge for her to tell the absolute truth. “Yes, we have. We had verbal sex their long before we ever had the real thing.” “Does he call you by a nickname?” Grimacing, Gabby responded reluctantly, “Uh, yeah.” No power on this Earth was going to get her to explain that Cade had started calling her “Rosy”, because of her tendency to have rosy cheeks – both sets, on less than rare occasions. “When did you start sleeping together?” If the questions had been posed by anyone but Linda, Gabby might have punched the person out. But she and Linda had been friends for long enough that politeness and a lot of social conventions and taboos had long since fallen by the wayside. Linda gave Gabby the lowdown on childbirth and marriage and men – warts and all. Gabby hadn’t been involved with someone in so long she really hadn’t been able to share much – and she’d always kept her interest in spanking pretty much completely to herself. Not because she feared any sort of negative reaction, but more because she knew that if Linda got any notion like that into her head, she’d never live it down. Their level of intimacy, however, didn’t stop Gabby from glowing like a neon light as she admit, “Six weeks ago.” Linda nearly dropped her pizza. “You’re kidding me? You guys have been dating for, like, four months!” - 305 BacksideOfLove.com

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“I know.” “And he let you hold him off that long?” Her mouth full of hot, spicy goodness, Gabby nodded as she reached for her lemonade. “Yes.” “Well, if that ain’t true love, girl, nothing is. The man’s a saint.” Linda gave her the once over. “You’re not joshing me, are you? You guys didn’t do anything – no Lewinskies or anything?” “No! Nothing like that.” “Wow. I’m amazed. Who decided to end the hands off policy?” Gabby laughed. “He did, but really he was amazingly patient with me.” “Obviously! I can barely get Dave to wait the six to eight weeks after the birth, and you had this man on a string for three months for no particular reason?” Glaring at Linda did absolutely no good. At least from Gabby anyway. “Well, I wanted us to have some time before we brought that . . . element into the mix. But he finally essentially told me one day that we were going off to Vegas -” Linda threw a napkin at her friend. “I knew it. You just looked like you’d spent the weekend getting your ashes hauled. You were too damned happy not to.” They had run into each other in the grocery store, and Linda had been immediately suspicious of her friend’s rather impromptu trip with their boss. As far as Linda knew, there weren’t any business reasons for the two to be in Vegas. “for a three day weekend, and,” she whispered, “that he’d take me again some time, because I wasn’t going to get to see anything but the inside of the suite. And he was right.” - 306 BacksideOfLove.com

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“Excellent!” “And I don’t think I missed a thing.” Linda nodded. “I’ve always figured he was a large man of large appetites.” “No!” Gabby protested, blushing furiously again. “I meant I didn’t miss not seeing any of the sites.” “Uh huh,” Linda returned, her voice basted in doubt. “Although . . .” her friend confided softly, “by the time the weekend came to an end, there wasn’t much we hadn’t . . . uh . . . covered.” Linda’s giggle was high pitched and girlish, and Gabby couldn’t help but laugh along with it. “Well, that’s it. He’s definitely in love, and I think you two should get on with it. Time’s a wastin’. Neither of you are spring chickens, you know, and I know both of you want kids. If you want to have any energy left to chase them around at all, you gotta do it now, while you’re still relatively young.” A gold blonde eyebrow rose. “Well, which is it? Are we relatively young, or not spring chickens any more? Make up what little is left of your mind.” “You know what I mean. You should tell him. Really. I mean it. He’s not the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. No man in that family is. Grab him quick before someone else does.” “You sound like my mother! Sheesh! A woman does not have to get married nowadays to be complete – or to have children!” Linda got up and began bustling about her already immaculate kitchen. “I know. But if you love him, you owe it to yourself to take the chance. Put yourself out there, already. I’d be - 307 BacksideOfLove.com

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willing to bet you an all out spa day on me that he’s going to reciprocate, and maybe even ask you to marry right then. Maybe he’s even already got a ring!” Her friend’s disparaging eye roll almost discouraged her, but not quite. “Then I can have all the fun of helping you plan the wedding, without any of the hassle of having to be in it.” Gabby snorted, throwing away her own paper plate and napkin. “Of course you’re going to be in it! You’re not getting away that easily!”

~~~ She hated it when Linda was right, and she was almost never wrong. Gabby spent quite a bit of time for the next week or so mulling over all the salient points that Linda had made: he’d been more than patient with her about the physical side of things. More patient than she’d really had a right to demand, frankly, and certainly much more so than most men nowadays, who would have thought that such a long bout of celibacy was simply ridiculous. He was attentive and protective and gentlemanly, in the deepest, most decent meaning of the words. He put himself out for her without so much as a thought, doing the small things like buying her an umbrella when he realized she didn’t own one, and making sure that his place was stocked with low carb foods and treats, trying to make it as appealing and comfortable for her as possible without making a big production out of it and calling her attention to the subtle changes he’d made to his life for her. Finally, she realized that what Linda had said made sense, in a deeply frightening, heart thumping, cold sweat down your back kind of way. She loved him. What the hell was she waiting for? So, one Friday night, when she knew if he didn’t respond to her in the way she wanted she’d have the weekend to recover and - 308 BacksideOfLove.com

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start looking for another job, she decided to put it all on the line. It was just after they’d made incredible, fantastic, mind blowing love and ever nerve she owned was in shock. Sometimes he was almost too attuned to her likes and dislikes, and she was beginning to think that he was mere days away from being able to bring her to orgasm without so much as touching her – with just that sexy rumble of his alone. It was a formidable weapon in and of itself, and when he discovered that if he talked to her throughout sex, making his words just the slightest bit dominant but still tender and gentle, that she would explode in his arms like a thousand suns. She almost put it off, because she was so devastated by her own orgasm that she missed his. Frankly, all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball in a corner of her room, or, better yet, escape to her car and drive all night. “Honey, are you all right?” Cade asked, concern riddling his voice. “You’re crying! Did I hurt you?” Sometimes, even now, several months later, he found himself getting a bit carried away with her. The magic between them hadn’t even hinted at wearing off. On the contrary, every time they came together, he wondered if he was going to survive it. He knew that this one had been a hard one for her – he could just tell. It had taken her longer than it usually did, even though he’d been gone for the past few days. But he wouldn’t – he couldn’t – leave her behind, and refused to give in to his own pleasure without assuring her own. But there were tears on her face – they were rolling onto the arm he had beneath her neck as he reflexively tried to cuddle her to him – and no matter what anyone said, as far as he was concerned, a crying woman was never a good thing. He held her tight to him, not allowing her to hang back like she seemed to want to. He wanted her close to him, and he wasn’t going to tolerate anything less than full body contact, head to toe. He put his forehead against hers and murmured. “Talk to me, Rosy.” When they were in bed, the depth of his cowboy drawl grew to enormously sexy proportions. - 309 BacksideOfLove.com

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Gabby swallowed hard, around her heart where it lay lodged firmly at the base of her throat, making her voice much hoarser than usual, almost a growl. She was surprised that he couldn’t see it there, but all he could see was her tears. “I – I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me.” She desperately didn’t want him to think that she was using tears to trick him or somehow obligate him to say anything to her declaration. At this point, she wasn’t feeling romantic or even particularly loving. She was feeling raw and exposed, and that’s how she spit it out at him. “I love you.” It wasn’t the way she’d wanted to say that to him – it wasn’t couched in flowery language and she knew it sounded more like it had given her some sort of bad taste in her mouth. She’d done it all wrong, and she knew it, and he was going to think she hated him, or that somehow she resented what she felt for him. It was a fiasco to top all fiascos, and she knew she was going to lose him as a result. Cade knew that he couldn’t grin at her at this moment. She wouldn’t take it at all right if he did, but he had the hardest time suppressing it. He recognized how horrible she felt about being so vulnerable – vulnerable from being the first to confess her feelings, as well as the remnants of the orgasm, but he’d never really been told he was loved in such an angry way before, and although the end result delight him, it also surprised and amused him. He allowed himself a small head shake. There was no such thing as boredom around Gabby. He could never tell what she was going to do or say next – except at work. Anywhere else, it was all up for grabs. He was still trying to deal with the fact that tears after an orgasm weren’t at all unusual for her, and the fact that she had an almost male tendency to want to simply leave the scene right after sex. She’d gotten herself spanked several times simply because she was completely defiant about spending the night with him, or refused to come out of the bathroom and back to bed once they’d made love. She’d had the audacity once to come out of the - 310 BacksideOfLove.com

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bathroom fully dressed, even though they were at his place and there was no reason for her to go anywhere. He’d disabused her of that notion the hard way – first he’d made her go and get the keys to both of his cars as well as her own, and threw them into his nightstand drawer. Then he’d crooked his finger at her, and when she’d finally complied, with a lot of sighing and back talk and much eye rolling, he stripped her down to nothing and made her go to his closet to get his big black belt. Needless to say, she was much better about not trying to get away from him after a particularly powerful orgasm. But the tears were always going to be hard for him, he thought. They absolutely tore at his heart, despite her reassurances that he hadn’t done anything inadvertent to hurt her. He did have a tendency to lie on her hair and she occasionally accused him of trying to rip it out by the roots without ever having laid hands on it, because it got wrapped around the both of them, and then he’d roll the wrong way and she’d end up with a bald patch. He wasn’t going to give her gray hairs, she liked to needle him, instead he was going to make her bald. But she loved him. Her defiant little confession was incredibly endearing, and he wished he hadn’t been waiting for just that right, picture perfect moment to say the exact same thing to her. He knew he should have told her the moment he’d realized it – on their last day in Vegas, when she got herself into trouble trying to pay for their weekend. She’d actually made her way up to the check out counter while he was packing the car, and when he got in there, she was just handing her credit card to the clerk. Cade got there just in the nick of time and put his hand out in front of her, palm up. He didn’t have to say anything else. His eyebrow said it all. The clerk, of course, didn’t hide the fact that she was observing this little tableau with an incredible amount of interest. - 311 BacksideOfLove.com

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She didn’t excuse herself or do something else. She just stood there. Her truly ferocious frown – worn despite the fact that she must have known at this point that she was in no small amount of trouble - went completely unheeded by the big, silent man at her side. With several hugely petulant sighs, Gabby put her credit card in his palm and turned to head for the car. Cade didn’t hesitate to throw over his shoulder as he fished out his own card for the clerk, “You’d better be in that car when I get there. You’re already in enough trouble.” The truth was that he wasn’t really angry with her, but she knew that he wasn’t going to allow her to pay for something like this. In the time they’d been together, Cade had only ever let her pay for one quick meal at McDonald’s and that was only because she was going to have to go in to pee anyway. He’d picked one of the nicest suites in the hotel and didn’t intend to let her shoulder the cost, no matter what. He didn’t intend to let her shoulder any costs in conjunction with their relationship whatsoever. He had more than enough money for the both of them.

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Chapter VII

S

he was a stubborn little cuss, though, and didn’t give up easily. She always got her purse out when the check came, always tried to foist money off on him for things he bought for her when they were out, and despite the occasional annoyance factor, he had to admit that it was a refreshing change from some women he had dated when he was younger, who assumed that the Thornton name meant that he was made of money. That type of woman expected that he was going to buy anything and everything. But Gabby wanted to pay for everything herself, even when he knew – because she had started bringing a lonely packet of ramen noodles to work for lunch rather than going out – that she really didn’t have the money. Actually, he had the exact thought as he was signing the slip that the fact that she was still fighting him about this only made him love her more – and the light suddenly dawned. He loved her – every pigheaded, too proud for her own good inch of her. When he got into the car that time, she was still giving him the stink eye, but he surprised her by reaching out and grabbing her – not to pull her over his lap, yet anyway, but to wrap her in a big hug. He had decided to keep this monumental news to himself for a little while longer – long enough to find the perfect engagement ring, when he could eek out a minute or two to go down to San Antonio, which hadn’t happened yet. The XL-17 project was coming to a head, and he’d been too wrapped up in it to spare any time – that was one of the reasons he’d insisted they do this - 313 BacksideOfLove.com

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weekend – because he knew that the both of them would be hammered when they got back. Leave it to Gabby to preempt him like this. Although her eyes had met his briefly when she’d blurted out her feelings, he could see that she was now trying to look anywhere in the room but at him. Cade reached out and cupped her cheek beneath, conquering her brief attempt at refusing to yield to his gentle power, but then flitting her eyes to his tentatively, longer as she saw the beautiful that spread across his face. And then he said it, in that low rumbling drawl of his. “I love you, Gabrielle Magdalena Andolini.” She hurled herself at him and dissolved into tears on his broad shoulder, within the safe confines of his encompassing arms. Then she pulled back suddenly, tears streaming down her face, and mumbled, “You’re not just saying that, are you?” Both of his eyebrows went up at her question. “Of course not, darlin’. You know me better than that. I don’t say anything I don’t mean.” She fell against him again, literally bawling in his arms. Cade cuddled her tightly, whispering soothing nothings and stroking her hair. Eventually, once she’d calmed down, he whispered in her ear, “I know that this isn’t a particularly romantic setting, and I’m supposed to be on one knee in a tux, and I don’t have a ring yet, but I promise I’ll do it up right when I can. Marry me.” His idea of a proposal brought a small smile to her lips. It was just like Cade not to ask – he was used to issuing orders. “It’s a very romantic setting to me – cuddled in bed after making love. What could be more romantic? But are you sure?”

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He looked surprised in the pale lamp light. “Yessssssss,” he dragged the word out. Gabby bit her lip, but answered, “Then I am to. I would be honored to be your wife.” Cade let out what sounded like a war whoop, crushing her in a big bear hug, then letting go – just a little – in order to let her breathe. “I don’t have a ring yet, but I have something in mind. You just leave it to me.” Happily, she did, and once things around the pressing feed project had settled down some, he arranged the perfect proposal scene for her at a four star restaurant in San Antonio, complete with a strolling violinist that serenaded the two of them, an impeccable, unobtrusive wait staff, and unbelievably good food, which the two of them shared generously between them, each getting a different appetizer, soup, salad and main course so that they could try a little bit of everything. They were each dressed to the nines – Cade in a tux that fit him so well he’d actually bought it instead of renting one, as he’d expected to. When she’d first seen him that night, when he’d picked her up in the company limousine which he’d commandeered for the evening, she’d looked as if she wanted to eat him up. Gabby could barely believe that this incredibly gorgeous man wanted to have anything to do with her, much less was actually her fiancé! He always kept his jet black hair impossibly short – not quite a crew cut but well above his collar, as if he was in the military rather than helping run a successful company. He was naturally tanned by the time every man in the family was expected to devote to the ranch their father had founded. His face was just rugged enough to be interesting, but not rugged enough to be ugly, and along with the rest of his big, naturally buff body, along with his take charge attitude, he was unstoppably sexy to any woman he encountered. Gabby knew this because whenever they entered a room – even such a chichi restaurant as Breathe, with its five star Michelin rating and understated elegance – every female - 315 BacksideOfLove.com

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head in the place – waitresses and guests – turned naturally to settle on him. This happened whether he was wearing a tux and eating pate or sliding into a well worn booth in Alverton and wolfing down a burger and fries. She’d been with him long enough to notice that he drew women’s eyes like a lode stone, although she tried not to dwell on that fact. He didn’t show any sort of hesitation in the least about getting down on one knee with everyone watching and taking her hand in his, kissing the back of it first, then turning it over to kiss the more sensitive palm. As he looked up at her, Cade’s heart nearly stopped. He’d never expected to be this happy in his lifetime. He’d pretty much given up on the idea of finding anyone wonderful, despite his older brother’s luck in finding the perfect women for them. He’d figured it just wasn’t going to happen for him. And then Gabby had stalked into his life, with her sassy wit and gently swaying hips, and that long curtain of red gold curls he could barely keep his hands out of. She was wearing a gorgeous, almost antique looking just slightly off white gown, with lace that hugged her décolletage almost as lovingly as he would, and her hair was down and almost wild around her slim shoulders, the way he preferred it. Cade would have sworn that she was still blushing from the spanking he’d had to give her last night. They were having an animated discussion about when and where they were going to move in. He didn’t know exactly what her problem was – and he had been rapidly reaching the point where he didn’t much care, frankly. He wanted her to move in with him. He already had a house that was nicer than her apartment, and they could build equity in a house, whereas they were just throwing away their money in an apartment.

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He’d been very surprised about how stubborn she was being about moving into his place. She was flat out refusing to do it, and that wasn’t like Gabby. She was a generally easy going person – it was one of the things he loved best about her. She was almost always in a good mood, and, away from the office, she wasn’t much of a fussbudget. But she was absolutely immovable about this. So he decided that he was going to make an executive decision, and cuddled her close, even though she had already scooted over to her edge of the bed, about as far away from him as she could get without actually leaving the bed. He knew she thought she’d had the last word on the subject, something loud and distinctly obscene. “C’mere, you.” “I don’t wanna,” she said petulantly, straining to get out of his arms but having absolutely no success at it. That was one of the problems with being involved with a man who was as blasted strong as Cade was. Not only could he pretty much dictate what she would or wouldn’t do physically, he found her completely portable, as she’d discovered one day when she refused to come to him when he was going to spank her. He’d simply trapped her against the kitchen cabinets and bodily picked her up without so much as batting an eye lash. And then, of course, he’d proceeded to give her the promised spanking, along with about thirty more, extra hard strokes for not doing as she was told. Apparently, though, whatever it was that was upsetting her this time was enough for her to risk another spanking for defying him. Cade didn’t force her to turn towards him, and he didn’t push her to respond once he had her backside plastered against his chest. Instead, he just held her, speaking soothingly in a low, almost hypnotic tone. “I’m sorry that this is bothering you for some reason, and I want you to know that I understand that you’re upset, and that you can tell me anything at all, and I won’t be mad at you. But the thing that makes the most financial sense for the - 317 BacksideOfLove.com

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both of us – especially since your lease is up pretty shortly, is that you move in with me, and that’s what we’re going to do.” She snorted derisively. “That’s what I’m going to do, you mean. I have to do everything. I have to give up my home and pack all my stuff and try to cram it into your house . . .” He could hear that she was close to tears, and he almost wished she was still angry. Angry he could deal with better than crying. Not that it would change his stance in the least. “Sweetie, you’re not going to lift a stick of furniture. I’m going to hire a moving company - ” “Oh, great, and I get to cost you even more money. How wonderful.” He was flabbergasted. She never cost him a thing, certainly nothing that he didn’t already insist on paying for. Cade was totally out of his element – completely at a loss as to why she was so upset, and it was making his own temper slip. “I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m spending pots of money on you, because I’m not. And I’m not going to argue with you about this any more. You’re moving in with me. Get a hold of your landlord tomorrow and let him know you won’t be renewing the lease.” “No.” There was an almost frightening lack of emotion in that word when she said it. But there wasn’t any lack of it in him when he tipped her onto her stomach, shucked up her nightie – under which he refused to allow her to wear any panties in bed – and began to deliver hard, rapid fire swats to her rump. He’d already been holding her arms where they’d been across her body, and it was disgustingly easy for him to just pull her wrists over her head with his left hand when she began to struggle, keeping them well out of the way of the dirty work of his right hand as he branded his palm print in an angry red onto her ivory flesh. - 318 BacksideOfLove.com

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“I said you’re moving, and that is final. Am I making myself completely understood, Gabrielle Magdalena?” She was crying harder now, and he wasn’t in the least surprised. He wasn’t pulling any punches at all. He was using his full strength to crack his hand against that beautiful bottom of hers, but she wasn’t saying a thing beyond the usual screams and cries of a woman who was being well and truly spanked. The next time he paused was to say eight words he knew she dreaded to hear. “Do you need to get my belt, Gabrielle?” He rarely had to go that far with her, but when he did, it always got her attention. He was very careful not to overdo it with her. Gabrielle wasn’t a hard woman – physically or emotionally - at all, and he was very mindful of her delicacy in both areas. She was bawling into her pillow. “No! No, please! I don’t w-want the belt, please, Cade!” His heart was aching for her, but he stayed strong. “You’re going to tell Mr. Burns tomorrow that you’re moving, right?” He waited for a moment, watching her tousled head move very slowly up and down. “And you’re going to move into my house and make yourself completely at home there, aren’t you?” He didn’t care if she moved in with a three ring circus, as long as she moved in. She could change everything and anything she wanted – except his bed, which was custom made and extra big. Other than that, he didn’t give a damn what she did to the house. She nodded again, but with the same reluctance. Cade brought his hand down twice more as he warned, “I don’t want you saying no to me like that again, Gabrielle. Especially with no explanation at all.” “Y – yes, Sir.” - 319 BacksideOfLove.com

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She sounded so pitiful and so repentant that he couldn’t resist the urge to pull her into his arms and rock her as she dissolved into even more tears against his chest. “What is it, Rosy girl? Won’t you tell me and share the burden?” He didn’t push, though, just letting her cry it out as long as she needed to. Then, when she had collapsed in exhaustion in his arms, and he was transferring her carefully onto her back so that she could get some sleep, she whispered, “I’m just scared about giving up my home. What happens if we don’t work out?” “Oh, baby girl, there’s no worries about that! We two have been pretty choosey in our lives – we’d both chosen to live without companionship than settle for second best. Now that I’ve found you, I couldn’t possibly see ever letting you go more than ten feet away from me for the rest of your life!” He was just autocratic enough so that he made that sound quite feasible, and Gabby gifted him with a wan smile. Now, she was sitting there in front of him looking like an absolute queen, and he could barely believe she’d have him, but he was going to grab her while the getting’ was good. “Gabrielle Andolini, you’ve made my life complete. You’ve teased and talked and argued and loved your way right into my heart, and I’d be incredibly blessed if you’d agree to become my wife.” He opened a white velvet box to show her a beautiful three diamond engagement ring, with a large, three carat, princess cut stone in the center, flanked by two smaller, one carat each marquise cut stones, all set in yellow gold. Gabrielle thought it was gorgeous – if absolutely huge. She’d been thinking he’d get her something small and tasteful, but this was incredibly beautiful and big, without being really ostentatious. He took it out of the box and slipped it onto her finger, and the entire restaurant broke into applause. - 320 BacksideOfLove.com

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The maitre d’ came over to offer the congratulations of the staff, along with a dessert sampler tray, compliments of the chef, and Cade ordered a bottle of 1990 Cristal champagne, overriding Gabrielle’s attempt at a protest at the cost of the four hundred dollar bottle of wine with a mere raised eyebrow. She demurred, but Cade knew his little spitfire wasn’t cowed in any way as he poured the pale beverage into the champagne flutes that had magically appeared, taking his to raise it to his soon to be bride. “You are the woman I thought I’d never find. I adore you, and I’m never going to let you go,” he said “You are the man I never thought I’d find,” she countered, “and I’ll never want to be away from you.” But her face clouded over for just as second after they’d clinked their glasses together and wrapped their wrists around each others to drink with their arms intertwined. “What is it, Rosy?” Cade asked, hating that a frown managed to overtake her on such a joyous occasion. Gabby bit her lip and looked up at him, taking a hold of the massive paw that was lying on the table. “Could we go? I just . . . I need you.” With those three small words, she had his heart in her hand. He blindly threw a big wad of hundred dollar bills on the table – they hadn’t gotten the check yet, and knowing that he had actually paid for the meal several times over, but not caring in the least. Their plan had been to drive back home after dinner, but when she clung to him in the back of the limousine – which was highly unlike his independent little fiancée, he instead told the driver to take them to a small but very romantic little hotel he knew in the area, where he knew the owner personally. They ended up in a gorgeously appointed, Victorian themed room, with tons of rose scented candles that had been lit by staff as soon as they knew someone was going to be occupied. It was a - 321 BacksideOfLove.com

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quiet, secluded, peaceful room done in soothing shades of mauve and pink. There were bouquets of fresh roses everywhere, and all of the fixtures were either actually antiques or excellent imitations – lots of brass and ornate, flowery lamps, along with an ornate fireplace and surprisingly subdued rose print wallpaper. He’d picked her up in the lobby and carried her up the winding staircase, following the bell hop, not even putting her down when he tipped the man, who’s smile was indulgent, but still made Gabby bury her burning face against Cade’s neck. He set her down on the clean satin sheets like the treasure she was, after removing the gold and rose chintz duvet, then stood at the end of the bed and threw off the coat of his tux, watching her as she stretched with totally unconscious sensuality, which hastened his pace considerably. Then he turned his attentions to her, leaning over her on the bed and helping her get out of that gorgeous dress, making sure her long hair didn’t get caught in the zipper, and unlike the fate of his tux, which lay crumpled on the floor wherever it had landed, he brought her dress to the closet and hung it up almost reverently. “That dress was made for you,” he growled as he took in her matching bra, panties and garter set, running his hand down her body from breast to knee, enjoying the contrast of the lacy material against the smoothness of her skin. Gabby raised her arms and whimpered, wanting only to be as close to him as possible. Cade made very short work of her tantalizing under things, and, bathed in the glow of what seemed like a thousand candles, he took her into his arms, pressing their naked bodies together from stem to stern. Gabby sighed, and he saw the tension that had come over her at the restaurant physically leave her body. “What is it, honey? What’s making you so sad on such a wonderful occasion?” If he’d still been wearing lapels, Gabby would have clutched at them, and she hated feeling so needy. Instead, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, whispering against his ear, “I just need to know that you’re sure about this. I - 322 BacksideOfLove.com

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love you so much, Cade Thornton, I don’t think I’d survive losing you,” she confessed baldly. Cade hugged her back so tight she could barely draw a breath, but she loved every second of it, rubbing his broad palm up and down her back soothingly. Eventually, when she had relaxed some and was clinging less, he leaned her back to the mattress, giving her as intent a look as the soft lighting would allow. “I want you to concentrate and hear me when I say this,” he rumbled softly as he slid slowly down her body until his mouth was level with an area of her body that was her most intimate and his most favorite, laying his arms gently on insides of her thighs, gently spreading them even further apart than they already were just to accommodate his presence between them, but excruciatingly careful not to hurt her in the process. He adored pinning her down and loving her with his mouth, and if ever an occasion demanded it, this was it. He deliberately kept his eyes on hers as he lowered his mouth to that exposed, sensitive spot, saying, “I love you more than you will ever know. I love every inch of you – especially this inch,” he demonstrated by laving over her already swollen bud with his flat, wide tongue. “And I am very, very, very sure that I want to spend the rest of my life making you scream with pleasure. And if you ever have any doubts about my intentions again, I just want you to remember this night.” And he proceeded to do just that, reaching up to cup her generous breasts in his hands, tweaking and lightly pulling her turgid nipples, rolling them slightly back and forth, pinching just enough, touching her in every right way possible to drive her to the very edge of sanity over and over, stopping to kiss her thighs or reach beneath her and cup her bottom or do some other distracting thing so that she wouldn’t find her culmination quite yet. When she was nearly weeping from it, when her head was flying back and forth on the fluffy pillow and her body was truly dancing to the tune he lead from his position at the hilt of her, he - 323 BacksideOfLove.com

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slipped two of his fingers up inside her, not crossing them, leaving them thickly together, invading her, claiming her as he intended to for all eternity. “Look at me, Gabrielle,” he commanded in a tone she recognized but didn’t want to in this type of situation. He knew what that tone did to her – when she was going to be spanked soundly or loved into oblivion. It made her crazy. It could make her contract from across the room. And she did exactly as she was told, not wanting him to – as he’d done on rare occasions – flip her over immediately, even in the middle of an intimate encounter, and paddle her bottom with the flat of his hand for not obeying him. “I love you. Tell me what I just said.” He dropped his mouth to her clit and suckled, then began to move his fingers within her, pumping them deftly in and out of her, dragging them against her delicate, nerve filled insides. She could barely thing when he did this to her, much less respond intelligently. But she did. “Y – you love me.” “Say it again,” he ordered from against her most private spot, then nuzzling it again. “Say it until I tell you to stop.” “You l – love me. You love me. You - ” she couldn’t catch her breath. He was loving her and pleasuring her and killing her with it at the same time. “ – love – me.” When he finally threw her over the edge into that abyss of sweet fulfillment, she screamed it over and over again, uncontrollably, nearly jackknifing in the bed until he held her down and made her live through the unbearable pleasure of it all, then rose up and joined their bodies together to seal her fate with his, riding her hard and fast and blindly until they both screamed from it into each other’s mouths. - 324 BacksideOfLove.com

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Cade moved to the side and took her with him, unwilling to give her up even in the short term. The small thought that he was happy that he knew that all of these rooms were, like his office, well soundproofed, considering how completely abandoned the two of them were within their own little world here. And he was thankful for that fact again over the long hours of that very sensual evening, when he made good on his earlier promise several times over.

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Chapter VIII

G

abby hadn’t been so nervous since she’d first met Cade. She fumbled with the button of her button fly jeans so much she was sure she’d been doing them all wrong and was going to look like an idiot in front of his entire family. “Son of a bitch!” she muttered, and of course, that was the exact moment when Cade entered their room. “Excuse me?” he asked, stopping in the act of shrugging into a t-shirt to put his hands on his hips and pin her with his gaze. “I’m sure I didn’t just hear you say something naughty, did I, Gabrielle?” “Uh . .” She never knew what to say to a question like that. Was she just supposed to confess and lie over his lap in surrender? Or could she get away with covering her mistake and not get spanked for lying? It was hard to tell with Cade. Beyond the few basic rules he’d established for her – which all dealt with keeping her safe – she never really knew what she could end up getting punished for – although it was never something stupid and always something she had pretty much figured might get her into trouble. But she couldn’t plead ignorance on this one. He did not allow her to swear. She decided to go with the cover, dreading the fact that she might just have to have dinner with her almost in-laws while sitting - 326 BacksideOfLove.com

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on a very sore butt. “I said – uh, son of a ditch,” desperately trying not to look guilty. Despite the fact that now she had two reasons to be nervous, she got her pants buttoned easily as she distinctly avoided looking at her fiancé, who hadn’t changed position in the least and was still glaring at her accusatorily while she flitted about the room, trying to get ready in a hurry. If she got him into the car, he was less likely to spank her. Not that he hadn’t spanked her in the car, he had. But it was just much more of a logistics and comfort problem than the bed that was currently less than five feet away from either of them. But she was rudely interrupted by a muscled arm that shot out and caught her around the waist as she skirted the bed, and she found herself seated on his lap on the bed in no time at all. “Cade,” she almost whined – but he hated that too, so she kept her tone just a shade lower than a whine. “I’m not ready yet, and we have to be there soon. I don’t want to make a bad impression!” He nuzzled her neck, nibbling gently and loving the feel of the shudder that ran through her. “We have plenty of time, Gabrielle.” She grimaced at his use of her full name, instead of Rosy. She wasn’t particularly fond of being called Rosy, but Gabrielle was more likely to indicate the possibility of a spanking in her near future. “But I don’t want to be late!” She was struggling – futilely, she knew – to get away. That was going to be the problem with having a husband who was as big as Cade. He could capture her and be absolutely sure that she wasn’t going to get away until he allowed it. “Gabrielle.” She continued to struggle for a few seconds longer, until her eyes crept up to his. His stubborn little intended didn’t like to give up. - 327 BacksideOfLove.com

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He couldn’t be absolutely sure, though, that she hadn’t said “ditch” instead of something she oughtn’t. It was close enough word that there was a lot of wiggle room there. “Well, I guess I’ll let it slide then.” Gabby was smart enough not to sigh in relief, although she certainly did on the inside. “But I’ve been thinking that perhaps you need a good, hard maintenance spanking, just in case there are things I’ve missed.” “A what? Why?” Gabrielle was appalled at the mere thought of him spanking her without a darned good, clear cut reason. She immediately began to struggle more in earnest, not that it did her any good, either. But Cade was already way a head of her, reaching for the waist of her jeans and unbuttoning them in half the time it had taken her to button them. “Cade! No! I don’t want a maintenance spanking!” He had to grin. “I imagine you don’t. But I think it’s the best thing for you. I’ve been so busy at work lately that I think I’m probably not seeing to you in the manner I should. I’m sure you’re committing all sorts of spankable offenses that I’m just not around to see until I get this project finished, and I wouldn’t want you to think I’m neglecting you in any way.” He stood her between his knees, pressing her jeans and panties down in one fluid motion, then leaning her over his lap. “NO! You’re not missing anything! I haven’t done a thing!” Gabby kicked her legs in protest, having already lost the battle not to end up over his lap, but her jeans and panties were at her knees, severely hampering her attempts. And then he reached over her with his left arm to hook his fingers around her hip, anchoring her in place. - 328 BacksideOfLove.com

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“I’m quite sure I am, Gabby, and that’s all it takes,” he said mildly. “I think that, until I’m out from under this project, I’m going to give you a maintenance spanking every three days or so, in addition to anything I might have to give you because of bad behavior I catch you in the middle of.” “NOOOOOOO! It’s not right! It isn’t fair! It’s -” It had already started. She’d lost, as she always had and always would against him when it came to matters of her discipline. And it was awful. It was one of the worst spankings she’d ever endured. He laid that hard, flat palm of his up and down her backside over and over, until her ivory flesh was a steaming mad ruby red from just below her waist to just above the backs of her knees. Gabby wiggled and writhed and wailed and moaned, but nothing stopped him. Nothing ever had and nothing ever would, until he decided she’d had enough. When he finished, he gave her a few minutes, still face down over his lap, to collect herself while he rubbed her freshly swollen bottom and down her legs. “It’s Saturday now. It’s your responsibility to come to me on Tuesday if I’m home, just before bed, and ask me for your maintenance spanking. If I’m not home, I’ll wake you up when I get home and we’ll take care of it then.” She had quieted quite a bit; her siren like sobs reduced to moist snuffles, but this pronouncement had her wailing again as he lifted her off his lap and put her in between his knees again, tugging up her panties first – which hurt bad enough – then her jeans, which clung to her much more tightly and set off another round of new tears. “No, Cade, please! You can’t expect me - ” Cade stood in front of her, hugging her tight. “I can and I do, Gabby. And I don’t think you want to find out what’s going to happen if you don’t.” - 329 BacksideOfLove.com

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The ride over to Hope and A.J.’s was pretty silent, even though Gabby knew he was never happy when she pouted. He hadn’t made a rule against it, just had let her know that he wasn’t going to tolerate much of it, like whining. Despite the fact that she thought of herself as a very strong, independent woman, Gabby thrived with the few rules Cade did make for her. She could understand the ones about always having her cell phone with her, and always making sure that she used her seat belt. Those were just common sense. But the one she chafed about the most was a relatively recent one that had really helped her – but that she resented the hell out of and she wasn’t at all sure she’d ever be able to completely accept. He’d given her a bed time. Linda had come back to work, finally, and Gabby had transferred to the accounting department, where she’d settled in nicely. She and her manager, Cherisse Kennedy, got along very well, although Gabby sometimes wondered about the way Cherisse looked at Gabby when Cade stopped by to pick her up at the end of the day. But she was always nice, and Gabby worked her butt off for the woman, knowing that people thought she’d gotten both jobs at Thornton Industries because she was screwing the boss. She was coming home at a more normal time than she used to, although Cade wasn’t, and she often forced herself to stay awake until he came home. He put the kibosh on that quickly, because he could see that she was completely exhausted. He laid down the law that she was required to be in bed by ten, and the lights and TV had to be out by no later than eleven. She had gotten herself some doozie spankings by ignoring the rule completely at first, because otherwise she didn’t get to see much of him. Cade tried to mitigate that somewhat by calling her just before eleven to tuck her in and say good night, and he also tried to get in as early as possible some days, so that they could have some evenings together. - 330 BacksideOfLove.com

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But he had been right, she hated to admit. Even with all the accommodations she knew that he was trying to make for their relationship, it had been a while since she’d been disciplined. Although she’d deny that she agreed with him in a court of law.

~~~ Gabby had had a couple of short encounters with the rest of the family, but she’d never been confronted by the whole brood of them. All of the brothers were loud and boisterous and huge, and the only mitigating factors were their two wives, neither of whom hesitated to try to ride herd on their husbands and their brothers in law. Gabby was hugged and kissed and passed from person to person until she was dizzy with it, and sought refuge next to Cade, who looped his arm around her waist and hugged her tight. But her mother had drilled manners into her at an early age, so when Hope and Heather went into the kitchen to bring out some hors d’oeuvres, Gabby followed them, offering to help in any way that she could, but walking a little slowly. Hope motioned that she should sit down at the snack bar, and even though the chairs looked relatively comfortable, Gabby declined softly, unable to stop the blush that spread over her face. “Are you all right?” Heather asked, coming over to stand by Gabby, which only made Gabby that much more embarrassed. “Heather, honey, back off,” Hope said, firmly but gently, and her sister in law took absolutely no offense, doing exactly what she’d said and backing away a few steps. Hope dried her hands on a dishtowel then approached Gabby, saying softly, “I’d know that look anywhere. You just got spanked.” - 331 BacksideOfLove.com

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She didn’t say anything, but Gabby’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, confirming Hope’s suspicions. But how the hell could she have known that? “I don’t want to embarrass you, Gabby. But you’re among family here. And the two of us get spanked by our husbands, too.” Some of the starch went out of Gabby’s back. She gulped hard, never expecting to meet one woman who had the same time of relationship with her love as she did with Cade, much less two. “You do?” “Yes, we do,” Heather answered ruefully, rubbing her bottom in sympathy and remembrance. “If you don’t mind me asking, what did you do to earn it?” Hope frowned at Heather. “That’s too personal – we barely know her! Kindly wait at least until she’s married to a brother before you get nosey!” Hope turned to wink at Gabby, letting her know that she wasn’t really scolding, which Heather already knew. “Can I get you something to drink?” Heather snorted. “Something big and tall and alcoholic, to dull the pain?” she suggested. Gabby smiled, relaxing a lot. It was nice to be in kindred company. “No, I don’t drink much, as a rule, but I’ll take a Diet Coke or lemonade.” “Not allowed to, or just don’t like it?” Hope asked casually. “Oh, I don’t have any rules like that,” Gabby shook her head. “Mine are - ” “Let us interrupt. ‘Health and Safety’ oriented?” Heather interjected wryly.

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Gabby glared. “Yeah. That’s it. No being in a car without a seatbelt, etc, etc, etc.” Hope set a big British pint glass full of ice and a two liter bottle of soda down in front of Gabby, explaining unapologetically, “You’re family. I don’t wait on family.” “So? Whatdja’ do?” Hope smacked Heather playfully on the arm. “Maybe she doesn’t want to tell us, Heather. Sheesh! Give the woman some room!” “No, I don’t mind saying, because it literally wasn’t anything.” The other women looked at her in alarm. “Nothing at all?” Heather asked in obvious disbelief. Gabby shook her head. “Not a thing. I had said something that I oughtn’t, but I managed to cover it well, thankfully.” Her audience was nodding thoughtfully in agreement. Apparently none of the Thornton men tolerated bad language in the women they loved. “But instead, he gave me what he called a maintenance spanking.” “You’ve got to be kidding me!” The stricken, horrified look on Hope and Heather’s faces was mirrored in Gabby’s. “Nope. He’s been working tons of hours, and he’s never home, and he said he was sure that he was missing a ton of stuff that I needed to be spanked for, so now I’m getting one every three days, and I have to remind him of them, unless he’s so late that I’m asleep when he gets home, which isn’t unusual lately.” Hope and Heather looked at each other in silent agreement, then they both turned to Gabby. “We will pay you anything you want to never, ever mention this to either of our husbands. Ever.” - 333 BacksideOfLove.com

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Gabby grinned evilly. “Hmmmmmmmm. What do I want? Decisions, decisions . . .” she giggled. “I have to admit that my first impulse is to share the . . . uh . . . wealth, as it were.” They were each reaching for her throat threateningly, but she backed off. “But then, that wouldn’t be quite right, would it.” “Damn straight. Oh, man. These guys are just unbelievable. And I thought A.J. was bad!” “And I would have sworn that Beau was the strictest of them all!” As her eyebrow rose, Gabby mused, “I wonder what Dane and Eric’s mates are going to be subject to?” All three women shuddered at the thought. The dinner went wonderfully, in part due to the shared intimacies that had happened in the kitchen. By revealing that she was also subject to her significant others’ loving discipline, Gabby had broken the ice with her soon to be sisters in law in a way that hands down beat anything else. She was completely accepted, and, as far as the rest of the brothers were concerned, if the women liked her, then she was golden. It was an interesting, eye opening experience. Hope and A.J.’s son, A.J., Jr., was asleep. He was nearly a year younger than his cousin, but Heather’s daughter, Elizabeth, was just starting to walk, and she had a place of honor in a high chair next to her mother. It was clear that everyone doted on the little girl. She had a mother, a father, an aunt, and five over protective uncles applauding at her every spit bubble or burp, not that the adults around her were particularly great role models as to proper behavior at the dinner table. Gabby had never sat down to dinner with a group of people who threw as much food at or to each other – not to create a mess, just to cut down on having to pass plates. Rolls flew furiously - 334 BacksideOfLove.com

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through the air, as did anything else that was a good projectile. It was obvious that the men had all been great at baseball, because no one ever missed their mark. A.J. sat at the head of the table, with Hope at his left, and Beau sat at the other end, with Heather at his left, and everyone else filled in from there. There was more love and laughter at that table than Gabby had ever experienced in her life, and she felt extremely privileged and honored to be considered a part of it. Hope and Heather were only too eager to offer their assistance with the wedding, and Gabby quickly accepted their offers. She reciprocated with one of her own, inviting them to join her poker night, which she’d only just started to go back to, at Cade’s insistence. He didn’t like her to just hang around waiting for him to come home at night, and he knew how much she’d enjoyed her nights with the girls. “Are you trying to corrupt our wives?” A.J. accused with a twinkle in his eye. It was patently obvious that the brothers who were married were deeply in love with their wives. The couples unashamedly held hands throughout the meal, when they weren’t fielding pop fly bread. Beau took care of Elizabeth expertly while Heather ate, playing and talking to her in a soothing, low tone, and showing absolutely infinite patience with her, giving her small amounts of what she could eat from their dinner and not worrying too much when more of it made it onto her face and front rather than into her mouth. “Definitely, although I don’t know how corrupted they’re likely to get when it’s really just penny ante. But they might well get fat on the food,” Gabby responded with a smile. They all ate themselves into oblivion of Hope’s exceptional garlic infused roast pork, that fell apart on the plate, potatoes au gratin dripping with creamy sauce and tons of cheddar cheese and onions, carrots that had roasted in the same pan and with the same herbs as the pork, and a homemade coconut cake for dessert, which they had once the women had cleaned up the mess in the dining room. - 335 BacksideOfLove.com

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Every man had been well trained by Hope, though. If they were going to come over to the big house for dinner, which she didn’t at all mind cooking, then they were at the very least going to clean off their plates, rinse them, and put them in the dishwasher, which they did, to the very last man. They all headed for the den, where the football game was on, and where the women would bring the coffee and dessert. Gabby made a bold comment. “Why don’t they clean up, you cooked?” she asked. “Well, we tried that. And I think that Naomi had that rule. But frankly, I don’t mind it cleaning up. At least then I know where everything ended up! They used to do it for me all the time, and it got done in a few minutes with all those hands helping. But when I reached for, say, a whisk, I could never find it. They’d’ve put it in a drawer in the hutch in the dining room, or put it in the pot drawer, or whatever.” She frowned up at Gabby as she bent over to put more plates and bowls into the dishwasher. “I never really decided whether they were doing it on purpose, but if I ever find out, they’re dead meat!” Heather was busy putting away leftovers. “So. You survived your first Thornton family dinner with only a few scars and pieces of roll in your hair. Well done!” Gabby snorted. “How did Naomi ever do it? She was totally outnumbered! At least you guys have each other!” “Hey!” Hope cried, “I was here first, all by myself for way long enough, believe me! It was awful!!!” She put the back of her hand to her forehead dramatically. “I was outvoted on everything. One week they made me make the same casserole for them for every single dinner.” She rolled her eyes, making a retching sound. “If I ever see another shepherd’s pie, it’ll be too soon.” Dessert was served about a half hour later, and was greeted with enthusiastic applause when they brought it into the den. Cade - 336 BacksideOfLove.com

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patted a spot for her that he’d fought his brothers off of, next to him on the couch. After Hope set the dessert up on a small side board and left it to the rapidly descending hoards, she walked over and turned off the TV, much to everyone’s disgust – except the women. And Hope wasn’t going to take all of the moans and groans quietly, either. “Pipe down, rabble. We have a guest, and there will be no more TV.” “I thought you said at dinner that she was family,” Eric hastened to point out before devouring an entire piece of cake in one bite. Hope reached out to whack her impudent brother in law on the shoulder. “She’s a guest when it’s convenient for me – the cook - and she’s family when she’s convenient for me, the cook. Do you have a problem with that?” Still trying to hard to swallow, Eric merely nodded quietly, not wanting to take the chance that he might, in the future, have to rely on his own considerable lack of cooking skills. They sat around and talked and laughed for a very long time, and Gabby noted that Hope and A.J. and Beau and Heather were even more physically affectionate. Due to a lack of seating, they had each curled up together on the floor, Hope in A.J.’s lap and Heather firmly affixed in Beau’s arms. Eventually, three guitars appeared and A.J., Beau, and Cade were coerced into playing. It was a side of him that Gabby had never seen, and she soaked it up. On the ride back to his – their place – Gabby cuddled up close to him and congratulated him on having such a wonderful family. They were unlike anything she’d ever experienced – big and loud and overwhelming on a lot of fronts, but she’d enjoyed herself enormously – especially when he’d begun playing guitar with his brothers. - 337 BacksideOfLove.com

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Cade looped his arm around her, squeezing her tight to his side. He knew his family could be a bit much, and he was glad that that hadn’t put Gabby off at all, but it had even seemed as if she’d really hit it off with Hope and Heather, which was great, as far as Cade was concerned, and he was glad to hear her even invite them to join her fabled card games. Those two women had the most experience on the planet of being married to a Thornton brother, and he’d been a lot more anxious that they accept her than any of his brothers, and they had. Now if he could just get this blasted project off his desk before the wedding and honeymoon. He was so sick of it; he was about ready to chuck the whole thing. But just a few more weeks of testing and he was sure that they’d have a winner on hand, and the advertising department could take over from there, and he could devote himself to much more delightful pursuits.

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Chapter IX

C

ade awoke sprawled on the comforter of their bed, a half full bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor beneath him that had been full last night when he’d picked it up. He automatically reached for Gabby, coming up with empty air and cold bed. The painful memories slammed into his brain with more force than his virulent hangover. She’d left him. He lurched out of the bedroom and into the tomb silent rest of the house, to the spare bedroom- soon to be nursery, they’d hoped – down the hall, slumping into his big office chair and finding A.J. on his speed dial. A.J. had the kind of connections Cade knew he was going to need to find his runaway fiancé – as well as whoever had done this to her, and he was going to pull out every stop to make sure that he did just that. One night away from him over this horrible situation was one night too many. If she wanted to stay home and give him the cold shoulder – for a while – that was fine. But he certainly wasn’t going to stand for her leaving him. He should have done this last night, he realized, instead of relying on the whiskey to help him. Things had been going along wonderfully. Hope and Heather had been helping her make the arrangements for their wedding, and they were set to marry in less than three months. Two days ago, though, his head of finance produced some documents that set him back on his heels. - 339 BacksideOfLove.com

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Someone had been embezzling money from the XL-17 project, and there was also some evidence that some of their most sensitive information might have been sold off in a shocking corporate espionage scheme. There was quite a bit of evidence against the party who had committed the crime – pages upon pages of it – logs of computer access, corresponding bank account deposits, and telephone records. Every single bit of the evidence pointed to one person. Gabrielle Andolini. Cade couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t accept it. But each piece of paper Joseph Simmons – his CFO – showed him was even more damning than the last. He couldn’t begin to imagine that she had done this. When she was involved with the project, she had almost always been with him. But the more he began to think about it, the more he realized that, because of her closeness with him at that time, she had had more opportunity to do this than anyone else in the company besides himself. She had all of the necessary access codes, and she knew at least as much about the project as he did. Had he trusted her too soon with such sensitive information? If she’d truly sold the secrets she knew, where was the money? She was driving a beat up old Honda Civic, and he’d seen everything she owned when she moved into his house – which wasn’t much. What could she possibly be doing with all of that money? Squirreling it away for some other nefarious purpose? Had one of their rivals paid her to cozy up to him? He shot out of his chair and told Simmons to leave him the hell alone, getting up to stand in front of his big window, dragging his hand through his shock of black hair. Cade had to decide what the hell it was that he wanted to do about this – if anything. It was absolutely unbelievable. Finally, he came back to his desk and dropped into his chair, restlessly poking at the piles of damning information about his fiancé that wallpapered his desk. - 340 BacksideOfLove.com

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Of course, that was the moment that Gabby chose to burst into his office with samples of invitations, before he’d had a chance to think things through, when he was still raw from the surprise and shock of it all. But Gabby knew him too well by now not to know that something was desperately wrong. He looked like someone had just told him the family ranch was to be sold, or something equally as awful. “What is it?” Gabby put the immediately forgotten invitations down on a chair in front of his desk and came around to put her hand on his hunched shoulder. “What’s the matter? Tell me; maybe I can help.” Cade knew that the financial future of his family’s company hung in the balance, and, right then, he couldn’t be at all sure that he could trust the woman he’d come to love more than life itself. The woman he’d trusted with more than just his family’s secrets – he’d trusted her with every bit of his most private self. His heart and his soul were wrapped around her small, slim finger, and he knew he needed some time to think before he spoke to her about this. But, having worked for him before, Gabby knew exactly what he was looking at at first glance, and she also knew that she was seeing her name plastered all over all of those computer readouts and logs. “What’s going on here?” she asked, backing away instinctively. Cade made an aborted attempt to draw her to him, but she sidestepped his seeking arm and came around to the front of the desk, saying in numb tone he’d never heard from her before, “Is there something you want to tell me, Cade?” He knew she wasn’t going to let this go. Cade shifted in his chair, but met her eyes full on as he said, “Joe Simmons brought some things to my attention. It seems that there is evidence that - 341 BacksideOfLove.com

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points to you having accessed some things you oughtn’t and perhaps sold them to a rival company, as well as appropriating some funds from the company that definitely weren’t yours.” Gabby was stunned - wounded to the absolute core - but carefully kept any expression from her face. There would be time enough for tears later. “And you believe that I’ve done these things.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, delivered in a ghostly, ghastly soft whisper. Cade knew he should have reassured her right then and there that he thought no such thing, but he wasn’t quick enough. He was preoccupied by what had been dropped into his lap, and by that awful thought he was still trying to reckon with, that he didn’t really want to admit to himself, and especially not to her. The awful truth was that she was right. He had entertained that thought for the barest of moments. Long enough for her to run in her and catch him at it – catch him doubting her. Instead of reassuring her that he thought no such thing, and telling her how much he loved her and adored her and knew that she had nothing to do with this, he said quietly, “We’ll get you the best lawyer money can buy, and I’ll stand by you through the whole thing.” It had gotten cold in his office. Colder than any wind she’d ever experienced in New England, that was for sure. Gabby felt like her heart had been frostbitten, along with the rest of her. Barely audible, she had answered, “No, that won’t be necessary. I’ll get my own lawyer.” She turned and stalked towards the door, her back straight and stiff, like her lips, which wanted to tremble with the tears that filled her eyes. But she wouldn’t allow it. “Don’t go too far,” he warned flatly from behind her. “I’m sure the police will want to question you.” - 342 BacksideOfLove.com

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“I’ll be sure to keep them apprised of my new address.” The stilted words struck a death blow to his heart, and every part of him wanted to chase after her and tell her that no matter what she might have done, she wasn’t going to get away from him that easily. But he was torn, and, for an agonizingly long while, his concern for his family and their company won out, and he hung around, trying to look at the paperwork in front of him, but not seeing a single word on any of the pages, worried about her and concerned that she’d meant exactly what she’d said. Finally, he had to do something, and was on the phone to A.J. who had already heard of the problem, of course. He, too, was amazed at the idea that Gabby might have done something like this. But Cade had come to his senses by then, and he knew that somehow, someone, had set Gabby up – had framed her. He didn’t know why or how, but he asked A.J. for his help in several things – to find the person who had done this to Gabby and bring him or her to justice, and, more importantly, to find Gabby – especially before the police decided that they needed to question her about the situation and classified her as some sort of fugitive. A.J. reassured his brother that it wouldn’t come to that, and gave Cade the telephone number of a friend of his who was an excellent private investigator. He’d had to check at home, but after not finding her there, Cade didn’t waste any time in calling the man, whose name was Bard. He asked a ton of questions, told him his greatly reduced fee schedule because he was A.J.’s brother, and said he’d get right onto it. Cade knew he should be going back to the office – where A.J. was – and helping with the investigation into who had done this to Gabby, but he preferred to sit by the phone, just in case Bard called back. - 343 BacksideOfLove.com

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It took him until the next morning, but he did call back. “It didn’t take much,” he growled. “She’s in Maine, holed up in a little hotel on the water.” He gave Cade the name of the hotel and her room number, and he was on a plane within two hours, on his way to Portland, where he rented a car and went south, to Wells. It was the middle of the night when he arrived at the little run down hotel and parked next to Gabby’s beat up little Honda. Just as he was getting out of the car, he got a call on is cell. It was A.J. He and a crew of forensic accountants had hit on what they thought was a solid lead about the culprit who had set Gabby up – they were all but absolutely certain that it was Cherisse, her manager. Cade was very happy to know that Gabrielle was no longer a suspect, but he wisely kept that information to himself. He didn’t want Gabby to think that the only reason he’d come halfway across country to get her was that she’d been cleared of the charges. He turned on the charm and convinced the lady at the desk that he was surprising his fiancé, who didn’t expect that he’d be able to get away from work to join her. And it was the absolute truth. Well, most of it anyway. He paid her ten dollars because there was going to be an extra person in the room, and took his magnetic key to room 107, but he didn’t use it. Cade didn’t want to scare her to death; he wanted to talk to her and heartily apologize, and beg her forgiveness. And he didn’t want to tip her hand and let her know that he had a key unless he absolutely had to. If that didn’t work – and he had a good inkling that it wasn’t going to, considering how stubborn she could be on occasion – he was going to make love to her until she couldn’t to - 344 BacksideOfLove.com

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anything but forgive him. He’d keep her here for as long as he needed to, to win her back. He rapped softly on the door, whispering hoarsely, “Gabrielle. Gabrielle, wake up. It’s Cade.” He heard her awaken with a cry, and it wrenched at him. He knew she hated to be startled awake; it scared her terribly. When the phone rang in the middle of the night, he always answered it, because she was too terrified to think straight. He repeated what he’d said in a calm, clear voice. She’d gotten up and come over to the door – he could hear how close she was, and put a hand on the door as if he was touching her. “Go away. I came here to get away from you.” “I want to talk to you, Gabrielle. Open the door.” Gabby was trying desperately to remind herself that she no longer had to respond to that no nonsense tone of voice, full first name or no full first name.. “You don’t have anything to say that I want to hear. Go back to Texas and leave me alone.” She heard his warning growl through the door, but despite the shiver it sent up her spine, she felt relatively safe behind the relatively solid door. Just as she was about to lean forward and flip the door guard over, but he was inside before she had a chance to get to it. More angry than alarmed, she grabbed her robe from the end of the bed and took several steps back from where he stood silently in the doorway before closing the door behind him. Gabby heard him lock the door, as if he intended to stay there with her for the night, which she didn’t intend to allow. “Get out right now, Cade! I don’t want to hear – I don’t have to hear – any more from you. My ring is at the house - ” “No it’s not. It’s here in my pocket,” he said, producing it on the tip of his index finger, which was just about as far as it would get the size five ring on his size twelve finger. - 345 BacksideOfLove.com

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Swallowing hard as the ever present tears welled, Gabby’s eyes flitted to his, then down again. “Well, it doesn’t make any matter anyways; the wedding is off. Go, Cade. You’ve already said everything you needed to say in your office. I’m surprised you’d bother to come after a liar and a cheat like myself. Can’t you just leave me alone?” As she spoke, she’d backed herself into a corner, verbally and literally, and Cade thought he’d never get over the way that twisted his heart nearly out of his chest. And the look in her eyes – the sparkle that had been his Gabby’s was gone, eradicated by his lack of faith in her. But he was going to get it back, come hell or high water. He sat on the end of the bed slowly, not making any sudden moves, moving as if she was a skittish mare being covered by a stallion for the first time, and apt to balk just to be ornery. “No, Rosy girl, I can’t. I’m so sorry for the way I treated you when you came into my office. I know I can’t say anything in my defense, and I’m not trying to, I just want you to know that the reason I reacted like that was because Joe had just barely told me about the situation and I hadn’t had a chance to think it through.” He’d hurt her badly, and her stiff stance and bland but somehow angry expression said that she wasn’t going to be in any hurry to forgive him. “I’m so sorry, Gabrielle. I know you didn’t do this, and A.J. is working on finding out who it was right now.” His brother was still have working on it, he justified to himself. She didn’t soften in the least hearing that he believed in her innocence. Not one iota. She was still standing there, her back to the corner, arms crossed over her chest defiantly. It had nearly killed him to see how she’d reached for her robe to cover herself from his eyes when he’d first come in, as if he was some stranger and not the man who loved her and was going to marry her in a few months.

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He made a snap decision and stood up, pulling his t-shirt up over his head, then reaching for his belt buckle. That got a response out of her like nothing else he’d said or done. She bolted towards the door, reaching down for her purse on the way, but he had her at the door. She couldn’t get it open before he was pressed up behind her – not in a lewd way, just trapping her bodily against the door, his front to her back, his huge palms on the heavy door, just below shoulder height for her, where it wouldn’t be easy for her to slip under them. She had the brass door guard already back, and the lock thrown. Her hand was still on the door handle, but she couldn’t open it unless he stepped away, and Gabby knew that wasn’t going to happen. “Put the locks back,” he whispered against her ear, stirring the fine hair there. “No.” Cade moved her hair away from her neck, but not before burying his face in it. For the moment, he ignored her blatant defiance. “I missed you last night,” he rumbled huskily. She’d missed him too – the bed looked like a hurricane had hit it – but she’d be damned if she’d admit it to him. “I don’t like sleeping without you, and I never intend to do so again,” he murmured against the incredibly sensitive skin at the back of her neck, where her neck joined her shoulders. Gabby snorted, and tried to get away from him, but she had nowhere to go. Otherwise, she refused to say a word to him. He reached down and did the locks himself, almost daring her to undo them, then he lifted her up into his arms and brought her to the bed, holding her easily as she tried to struggle out of his arms. “Let me go!” she screamed, furious for him at his high handedness on top of how shabbily he’d treated her, and herself for the tears that were pouring uncontrollably down her cheeks, as well - 347 BacksideOfLove.com

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as her own general physical weakness in comparison to his. Just once, she wished she could have the upper hand and squirm away from him when she wanted to. Especially this time. He was going to make love to her, and she knew it, and she also know that if he succeeded, she would be lost. All of her anger would evaporate in that caldron of passion they always stirred up when they came together, and she wasn’t at all interested in forgiving or forgetting – ever, no matter what he said or did. But Cade wasn’t giving her the chance to get away from him again, in any way. She was also at a distinct advantage because she was barely dressed. Her robe was easily parted and disposed of over the side of the small bed, and her nightie and panties soon when the same way, and she was naked beneath him, crying almost hysterically. Cade loved her too much to ever force himself on her, so he simply gathered her into his arms and held her until the storm was over, stroking her hair and rocking them both very gently, occasionally apologizing into the top of her head, hoping the words would sink in even through her obvious pain. Her sobs were coming in great gulps, each wave wrenching his entire body from head to toe until he couldn’t bear it any longer and he began to kiss them away, very softly, very slowly, without any sort of demand, murmuring apologies along with his tender ministrations. He reached for a tissue from the nightstand and he held it so that she could blow, then continued to kiss away the tears that had traveled down her neck, to her collarbone. “I am truly sorry for hurting you, Gabrielle, and I hope you’ll find it within yourself to forgive me soon. And if it takes you a little while to do that, I’ll be as understanding as I possibly can. But the wedding is on, and nothing you can say or do is going to change that. We’re going to have some time to ourselves here for a while – maybe we’ll find a nicer hotel, though,” he commented, looking around the place - 348 BacksideOfLove.com

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disparagingly, “ – and then we’re going to go home and get married.” Gabby opened her mouth to protest, but he put his finger over her lips quickly. “You know that, if I have to, I’ll keep you tied up until then. And if I have to march you down the aisle in your beautiful gown and matching white leather cuffs, then so be it.” She did know him, and he’d do it in a heartbeat. He caught her chin in his fingers. “But I promise that I’ll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. You can have anything you want. I’ll build you a mansion, I’ll buy you cars, we can get a place here if you like, right on the ocean, whatever. You have me over a barrel right now more so than you probably ever will in our lives – except when you’re having labor pains. I want you to be happy, and I will not give you up.” She had relaxed enough that he was able to slip her onto her back as he gently positioned himself between her legs. Gabby knew exactly where he was going, and couldn’t even find the gumption to put up much of a protest. He had hurt her – badly – and as angry as she was at him, she still loved him. She couldn’t just shut off her feelings for him, as much as she wanted to. Her tears resumed again when he entered her, gently but insistently, kissing each of them away as he claimed more and more of her, making her arch against her will as her body struggled to accommodate him. “Cade – I – please – no.” He wanted to stop. He did. He wanted to honor her “no”, but he just couldn’t. He loved her too much. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he began to make love to her, leaning down to pour his heart and soul into a long, slow kiss. “You can hate me even more for not stopping, if you want. I just need you so much, Gabby. I can’t live without you, and I promise I’ll never hurt you - 349 BacksideOfLove.com

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like that again. Please don’t leave me. Be my wife and spend the rest of your life making me pay for it.” She knew his speech was completely heartfelt, and she was at once horrified and relieved to realize that she was on the verge of nodding her head. Dear God, he felt good inside her. Too good for the likes of him, and he was very carefully driving her crazy in every way he knew how to. Cade brought her to the edge and sent her careening over, holding her tight in his arms, keeping her safe, loving her through it until she came out the other side and joined him again, finding her own pleasure again and again within his own quest. When they had both collapsed on the bed, Cade keeping an arm around her in case she got some wild hair and decided to bolt, they lay quietly in the dark. Cade was the first to speak, his voice guttural in the aftermath. “I wish I could take back every word, Gabrielle. I wish it more than I’ve ever wished anything in my life.” Gabby heard his sincerity, and knew, deep in her heart, that if he’d truly believed that she had stolen from him, he wouldn’t be here. She put her arm around his waist and leaned up to look at him in the moonlight that came through the slats in the mini blinds. “I know, Cade. I know.” His heart stopped. “Am I forgiven?” he asked, holding his breath for her response. “Possibly,” she replied impudently, twisting a hunk of chest hair with her index finger, pulling it just enough to make him squirm a little. “I’ll let you know in a few decades.”

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Thornton Brothers Trilogy

The End

Thornton’s Wish ©2003 Carolyn Faulkner / BacksideOfLove.com

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Carolyn Faulkner

Backside of Love: The Intimacy of Authority http://BacksideOfLove.com

Dearest reader: Are you... there yet? ☺ If these unusual themes are the stuff of fantasies you thought you could never share, then please join Carolyn and her husband at their Backside of Love community. There we explore the profound sorts of romance which include the giving of authority to your trusted Other, structure and consequences for behavioral control, and sexual intimacy winding through it all. Come over and join our community forum, library and magazine devoted to the common threads which weave through lifestyles like BDSM or D/s, Domestic Discipline, and Intimate Ageplay: trusted authority, firm-but-loving punishment, and the sexual intimacy that those things spark. Which label you put on your needs isn’t the point: It’s finding the absolute most fulfillment possible from exploring these Intimacy of Authority themes. --Carolyn and Unka Bobby (her “Daddy” and husband)

If this story has piqued your interest, then please be sure to ask about Carolyn’s other classic works in this genre: Jake Ryan's Woman Blood From A Stone Embraced Love Will Find A Way Priceless Love I The Little Miss ...and over 70 other adventures!

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