Desert Crossing

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 2

Chapter One A VOICE cried out of the desert. “Wait!” Callum turned and tensed as he saw a man running toward him, hair bouncing in his face. For some reason, Callum‟s first impulse was to climb back into his little blue Camry and hit the gas. He shook himself. For goodness‟ sake, why was he so jumpy? Callum had been quite comfortable in his airconditioned car, his mind in other places. The car windows had limited his view of the world around him, allowing him to see only a small patch of sky in every direction and the endless black ribbon of the road before and behind. But then nature called, and when he spotted the small gas station, he figured he‟d better stop. Who knew when the next opportunity would arrive? He needed gas anyway. He‟d gasped at the heat when he‟d gotten out of the car. He hadn‟t realized just how hot it was. But it was only after slipping the gas pump nozzle into the tank that he looked up to see the impossible. Strange and beautiful, the desert stretched out around him in every direction, as if he had stepped out into the very center of the everlasting. There had been nothing for his eyes or mind to lock on to. The colors were surreal—gold, pink,

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 3 white, indigo, brass, orange, algae green—and the horizon looked flat, not three-dimensional at all. It almost gave him vertigo. He‟d staggered a second, almost feeling like he might fall up. The few scattered clouds and the mountains in the distance looked like a part of the most gigantic painting in the world, like he could almost reach out and touch it. It was the voice breaking the unearthly silence that allowed him to tear his eyes away from the sky and that flat, flat, flat horizon and focus instead on the rapidly approaching man. “You‟re heading east, right?” the man asked, stopping just behind the car. He was wearing jeans and a tank top, damp with sweat, and had a backpack slung over one shoulder. He pushed the dark brown hair, which had stuck to his forehead, out of his face. “Ah… yeah….” The man smiled broadly, cheeks dimpling. “Look. I‟m stuck here in the middle of fucking nowhere, and I‟d do almost anything to get to civilization. I‟d be glad to fill your tank if you‟d give me a ride to at least the next town….” Callum looked the guy up and down. And while he looked a little dirty, he didn‟t look dangerous. Callum found himself relaxing just a little bit. The guy put a hand on his hip. “Look, I know you don‟t know me from Buddha, but please, I‟m not going to rip you off or anything. Pat me down if you want to!” He shrugged the pack off his shoulder and held it out. “You can even look through my bag. No gun, no knife. I promise. And, man, I gotta get the hell out of here!”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 4 Callum tried to shake off the last vestiges of suspicion, but couldn‟t quite help himself. Chalk it up to selfpreservation and city life. “How did you get here in the first place?” he asked. The man sighed and rolled his eyes desert-skyward. “Damned trucker. He wanted to fuck me, and I said no, so he left me here….” Straight, Callum thought, and gave him another quick once-over and forgot about his misgivings. The guy seemed harmless, and he was pretty hot, straight or not. Nice broad hairy chest, gorgeous blue eyes (and Callum was always a sucker for blue eyes), with tiny little lines around them and the corners of his mouth. Made him look like a man and not some twink. A quick glance showed that he had quite an ample basket, besides. No wonder the trucker had wanted to have sex with him. Callum realized he wouldn‟t mind a little roll with the guy himself. “Please, man, help a guy out?” the stranger asked and smiled that dimpled smile. Callum looked around them, saw the hopeless situation the man was in. Damn. What could he do? Callum found himself smiling back. “Well, if you let me pat you down first….” Why had he said that? But he knew the answer to that. It was David, pure and simple. The man smirked and raised a brow, then laid the backpack on the trunk, spread his hands, and leaned against the car in the classic stance. “Pat away,” he said. Was that was a lascivious note he heard in the man‟s voice? Lord, David would be going crazy with excitement by

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 5 now! Callum took a half step forward and froze. What are you doing? You’re acting just like David, for God’s sake! This is someone in trouble, not a trick in a bathhouse. And the guy was straight, for goodness’ sake! Hadn’t he just said that? Ashamed, Callum tried to laugh. “No, that‟s okay,” he said. “It‟s pretty obvious you don‟t have anything hidden on you….” Which was certainly true. As tight as the man‟s jeans were—especially over his crotch and ass—there was no way he was hiding anything, let alone a weapon. As a matter of fact, what he did have in those pants was pretty much right out there on display. Dammit, there you go again, Callum scolded himself, but he was already feeling a shifting in his own jeans, and all he could do was lean against the car and hope that the guy couldn‟t see what was happening. “Sure, I‟ll give you a ride. I was just thinking I needed some company anyway. And a half tank will be plenty.” “Nope!” said the man, his smile brilliant as the desert sun. “I‟m filling you up! And don‟t try to argue with me!” You can certainly fill me up all you want, Callum thought, and again realized how fast his thoughts kept turning sexual. Having David as a lover for ten years could do that to a man. He was so glad he hadn‟t made the comment out loud (although David would have). Besides, the guy might not have a gun or knife, but he could still knock his block off. “I‟m Dan,” said his new passenger as he turned to swipe the credit card he‟d taken from his (tight) jeans at the gas pump. “Callum.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 6 “Caleb?” Dan asked. “Callum.” “Callum. That‟s an interesting name. Never heard it before. Family name?” “Yeah. My Grandpa‟s. My mom‟s dad. It‟s Gaelic or Celtic or something.” Dan raised an eyebrow. “Really? That‟s cool. My family‟s from Ireland.” “Oh Danny Boy?” Dan rolled his eyes again. “And I‟ve never heard that before! And I don‟t let too many people call me Danny, either. Except Mom.” “Can‟t control your mother, huh?” “Hell no. And if it‟s not one thing, it‟s your mother, right?” Callum laughed. “I‟ve let an SO call me Danny….” “„SO‟?” Callum asked. “Significant other!” “Oh,” said Callum, and nine years of living in the gay community made him immediately curious about Dan‟s choice of non-gender-specific pronouns. It wasn‟t something that most people even thought about, but cruising with David had taught him to be on the lookout for clues. He nodded and tried not to check Dan out again. It wasn‟t easy. The more he looked at the man, the more attractive he became, which in turn made Callum feel guilty.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 7 It didn‟t matter that David would have gone for the hunk in a San Francisco second. It didn‟t matter that he and David were now—finally, technically—in an open relationship, and that he had every right to cruise the stranger (David would have). It was the very fact that he was doing what David always did—turning this stranger into nothing but a sexual possibility. He hated that! He was not going to act like David. “So where are you headed?” Callum asked, forcing himself to stop mentally undressing the man. It wasn‟t just habit; Dan was hot! It went way beyond those blue eyes. His smile was dazzling, his huge dimples enchanting, his teeth white and perfect. His nose was on the large side, but it fit him and only got Callum wondering about other things. And his body! Dan‟s body was lean, and the tank top revealed a nice set of pecs with just the perfect amount of chest hair (nicely furred without being apelike). Callum loved a hairy chest. David‟s chest was as smooth as glass. Oh, and when Dan pushed his persistently falling bangs from his face, Callum could see the hair in his pits was quite dense. Sweaty. Dan couldn‟t have been any more Callum‟s type if he‟d been made to order. “And you,” he suddenly heard Dan say. “Huh?” Callum asked again, and he felt his face flush again with embarrassment. “What about you?” Dan asked. “I told you where I‟m going.” “You did?” Now even Callum‟s ears were turning red. “I said I was heading to St. Louis. An old… friend said I could come visit for a while. Offered me a short-term construction job. I was so tired of Reno.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 8 The gas pump clicked off, and Dan turned and squeezed another dollar into the tank. “All full,” he said, pulling the nozzle from the tank and hanging it back up. “You want a Coke or something before we leave?” “Oh! Jeez,” Callum said, his bladder reminding him of one of the main reasons he‟d stopped in the first place. Gasoline had been the second reason. “I gotta piss like a racehorse!” He willed his face to not turn any redder. God, he hoped he wasn‟t being too obvious. “I could‟a been doin‟ that already.” “Well, we had to get acquainted,” Dan replied. “I wouldn‟t walk off and leave my car with a stranger. You know, a piss sounds good. I think I‟ll join you before we hit the road. Out here it‟s a long ways between johns.” Oh great, thought Callum. Me piss shy. I won’t be able to go with him standing next to me. But Callum found that wasn‟t true. Dan was so casual, keeping his eyes on the red and white tiles in front of him and never glancing his way, that Callum found he had no trouble at all. He wasn‟t as gallant as Dan, though. He did take a peek or two out of the corner of his eye. He liked what he saw. Nice, and he wasn‟t circumcised, either. Dan really was perfect. Callum wound up springing for the soda. He bought a case as a matter of fact, along with some ice, and they put it in his banged-up red cooler that sat in the back seat. It seemed they were both Diet Coke fans, and it was on sale, even way out here. They‟d only been in the car a moment or so when Dan twisted his head and sniffed his pits. He rolled his eyes once

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 9 again (apparently an affectation) and said, “Sorry about the smell. I‟ve been sitting there for a while. Old ladies and young girls don‟t pick up strange men.” “No problem,” said Callum. “Are you a strange man?” Callum added before he could stop himself. “Oh, I don‟t know. No stranger than the next.” “Well, like I said, I don‟t mind the smell,” said Callum. He felt his face grow hot again. He didn‟t mind the smell one bit. Dan wasn‟t stale, just clean and natural. One more thing David had done to him—taught him to love man-smells. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, Callum thought, cursing his absent lover. Jeez, you showed me the world, my love, the wonders and the heights and depths. Then all we ever do is wallow in the sewer. “You okay?” “Huh?” said Callum with a jerk. “You got a really funny look on your face.” “Sorry, just thinking about somebody….” “With that look? I take it this somebody‟s an ex?” Callum jumped again. “Ex? No, not an ex. I‟m just taking… some time off.” “Ah,” said Dan, stretching out and making himself comfortable, raising his arms and putting his hands behind his neck, exposing those decidedly sexy pits. A few drops of sweat glistened like diamonds in the desert light that came in through the windshield. “I understand what you‟re saying. By the way, you never answered my question. Where are you going?”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 10 Callum gulped. “To see my parents. It‟s my mom‟s birthday.” “Where do you live?” “SFO,” Callum answered. “San Francisco.” “The City! I love San Francisco! Land of fruits and nuts.” Callum chuckled. “Like I haven‟t heard that before!” There was a pause in their conversation. Then Dan asked, “So which are you?” “Huh?” asked Callum. “A fruit or a nut?” Callum looked at him, surprised. “Ah, ummm….” Oh, what the hell. “I guess I‟m both,” he said with a shrug. Dan let out a bark of laughter. “Oh, that‟s good! Guess that works for me too.” It took Callum a moment to register what Dan had said. “Oh! Really? I thought you said you were straight.” “I never said that,” Dan said with a smirk. “But you got pissed off ‟cause the trucker wanted to have sex with you.” “I got pissed off that I had to pay for the ride with mah ass. It wasn‟t because he wanted to have sex with me.” “Oh!” Callum said for the third or fourth time. Damn. He was starting to sound like an echo. “The guy was totally gross. Huge, greasy, and believe me, he didn‟t smell sexy!” Once again Callum blushed, for some reason embarrassed that Dan had realized one of his little turn-ons.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 11 Dan smiled broadly. “I think it‟s pretty damned cute that you can blush at your age. You‟re in your, what, late twenties, early thirties?” “Yeah,” Callum said, not telling the man he was thirtythree and trying to guess Dan‟s point. “I‟m thirty-seven myself. You lived in San Fran very long?” “‟Bout nine years.” Dan whistled. “And you can still blush? After what you must‟ve seen? I like that. You are okay, Callum, buddy. This is going to be the best ride I‟ve had in a long time. Thanks for the lift.” “No problem,” Callum said. Then just like that he was feeling really good. He looked over at Dan, who was grinning, and he felt his own smile growing. He nodded. “You‟re welcome, Danny. I mean Dan.” Dan winked. “Go ahead and call me Danny. I think you qualify. I let my mom, SOs, and cute guys that rescue me in the desert call me Danny.” Callum felt his mood lift even more. He‟d been so mad when David refused to come with him. He hadn‟t wanted to make such a long drive by himself, and he really owed his mom a trip. But David had no intention of going. He said he didn‟t want to take the time off, but Callum knew better. He knew David wanted the opportunity to trick without him. Get his jollies at The Glory Whole, his favorite sex club, nearly every night probably. What was really silly was that David hadn‟t wanted him to take the car, even though they hardly used it, not in the

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 12 City. They used public transportation nearly everywhere they went. It was foolish to do anything else in San Francisco, and David shouldn‟t need it over the next week. He, on the other hand, certainly needed the car to go halfway across the States, especially across this desert. And it was his car. The one his mother gave him. Yet, what a nice turn of events this had turned out to be. The drive would have been pretty boring; had been so far. Callum realized he was glad that David wasn‟t here. David would have ruined this. He‟d surely have pounced on Danny by now. Yeah, fuck you, David. Go right ahead and do whatever you’re going to do. “Mind if I turn on the radio?” Dan asked. Callum shook his head. “Please do.” “Hope you don‟t mind, but I‟ll probably be singing along.” “I don‟t mind,” Callum said with a grin. Yeah, David. You have a ball without me. And while you’re at it, go to hell.

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Chapter Two BY THE time they got to the next city, Callum had long since made up his mind that he wasn‟t making Dan get out of his car. Since the guy was heading to St. Louis, technically he could take the guy almost all the way. There was a long drive ahead, and he wanted—needed—the company. He didn‟t like all that alone time that David insisted that he needed. Callum had also gotten a lot more comfortable with Dan‟s company. They stopped for dinner in Salt Lake City. In some ways, it kind of reminded him of Denver with its gorgeous, mountainous skyline. There was a time that Dan wouldn‟t have had this effect on him. Callum had a lover, after all, and what else really mattered? But years of tricking with David had gotten him into the habit of sexualizing men, especially gay men, and even more especially very sexy gay men that were his type and sitting there exposing their sweaty armpits right there in his car! Dan was flirting, no doubt about it. Dan had apparently figured out almost instantly that he, for one reason or another, was turning Callum on, and his flirting was getting quite blatant. It can’t just be in my imagination, Callum thought to himself. Or could it? After all, Dan wasn‟t like, clutching his

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 14 dick or anything. But he was certainly showing off those pits enough, and Callum had already admitted, without meaning to, they were a little fetish for him. It also looked like Dan had taken a good gander at the occasional erection that strained Callum‟s pants. On the other hand, Dan was totally tame at dinner, even pulling a shirt from his backpack and putting it on before they went into the restaurant. They chatted about the kinds of things everyone talks about—movies, music, sports (although that was something Callum knew almost nothing about). After a while he started to grow ashamed of his feelings about Dan as well as his suspicions. After dinner, Dan suggested a little walk. “Let‟s stretch our legs before we climb back into that car. Not that I don‟t like your car, but my ass is hurting, and not for any good reasons!” So they did. They walked the streets, peeking in shop windows, even stepping into a store or two. It was amazing to shop yet always be aware of the snow-covered mountains. It was a very different city than either San Francisco or Callum‟s hometown of Terra‟s Gate. The place he was raised seemed almost removed from time, a place from a halfcentury ago. SFO looked new and shiny and clean. Salt Lake City, on the other hand, seemed to be a combination of both. And the flowers! Callum was glad that spring was here. He‟d skipped going home for Christmas—he hated snow with a passion. But spring, on the other hand… that was one of his favorite times of year. The company was great too. It was really good to have someone to talk to who seemed to listen and care about what

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 15 he was saying. Of course there was the added bonus that Dan was dead sexy, at least to him. He probably wasn‟t David‟s type (well, except that he had a dick), but Dan‟s probing eyes and warm smile made Callum‟s heart flutter. Dan‟s dimples just messed him up. In a good way. They‟d been walking for nearly an hour when Dan asked, “How far do you want to go tonight?” “Huh?” Callum asked, and for the fiftieth time that day, turned bright red. Dan gave him a puzzled look and then burst into laughter. “Oh, Callum! You are just too cute, you know that?” “Thanks a lot,” Callum said sarcastically, staring down at the sidewalk. Dan stopped, turned toward Callum, and waited. Callum finally looked up. “What?” “Do I turn you on, Callum?” Callum blushed even brighter. “I…. Ah…. I….” He cleared his throat. Damn, he thought, if I were David, I’d have already blown Dan and kicked him out of the car miles ago. He looked up and met Dan‟s eyes. Lord, he was attractive, and he felt his dick hardening once again. “I….” Dan took a step closer to him. “‟Cause I find you almost irresistible….” This surprised Callum. “You do?” “Why does that surprise you?” “David says that one of the reasons he cheats is because the guys want him but not me. That I‟m too fat.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 16 “Fat?” Dan laughed. “How the hell are you fat?” “You haven‟t seen me without my shirt on.” “Not yet….” Callum felt the heat wash across his face. “I think you‟re hot,” Dan said. “You do?” “Why do you think I‟ve been teasing you?” “You were teasing me, weren‟t you? It wasn‟t just my imagination!” Dan shook his head and took another step. He reached out and ran a finger down the buttons on Callum‟s shirt. “I just need to ask you a question first…. Do you and your man have an open relationship?” The question took Callum aback, especially since he had just been thinking about his wandering lover. “More or less….” He started off down the sidewalk. Dan kept pace. “More or less?” “Well, it appears that it is finally official, although we still haven‟t put it on paper or any fucking thing like that.” Dan took Callum‟s wrist in his strong hand and stopped him again. “What‟s that supposed to mean?” “David has sex with whomever he damn well pleases. His motto is, „If it moves, fuck it. If it doesn‟t move, fuck it anyway; it might be resting!‟” Dan let out a laugh and then covered his mouth. “Sorry.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 17 “It‟s not funny!” Callum yanked his hand away and resumed his walk. “Well, what you said is funny, Callum. But I‟m not laughing at you.” “Well, I‟m not laughing either, so you sure as hell aren‟t laughing with me.” They walked in silence for a while. “So, David cheats, I take it?” Dan asked. “He gives new definition to the word. There‟s a picture of him in the dictionary next to the word „cheater‟.” Dan laughed again. “Stop laughing!” Callum started walking faster. He could feel tears beginning to well up and he didn‟t want Dan to see them. “Then stop saying things that are funny.” Callum stopped, and Dan nearly collided with him. “I‟m not saying anything funny!” Dan reached out and placed a hand on either side of Callum‟s hips, who despite himself, felt an almost-electric shock pass from Dan‟s hands that shot up and down his body. “What you‟re really talking about isn‟t funny, no, and for that, I‟m sorry about laughing. But what impresses me is that through something that you‟re obviously hurting about, you‟ve kept your sense of humor.” The comment really startled Callum. He couldn‟t even say anything for a moment. “I… I don‟t…. What?” “God, I want to kiss you.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 18 Callum felt another shock run through him, felt his knees grow rubbery. Those eyes. Oh jeez, those eyes. And those lips. Do it, Danny. Kiss me. Please kiss me. “Do… you… and… David… have… an… open… relationship?” Dan said each word slowly and succinctly. “I guess,” said Callum, and a tear rolled down his face. Dan took one more step and kissed Callum like he hadn‟t experienced in a long time. Callum felt himself grow light, like his feet were actually lifting off the sidewalk. Strong arms wrapped around him, pulled him tight, and another shock passed through him. The chest against his was so strong! Dan opened his mouth, ran a tongue tip against his lips (another shock), and Callum opened his own mouth to accept him (shock). Their tongues tangled (shock), and teeth clinked (shock). He felt a rushing through his head and down to his cock that had turned to iron without him realizing it until it was crushed against Dan‟s own hardness (shock), and he knew very well he was about to cum. Just before he could, Dan stepped back leaving him as breathless as a Harlequin Romance heroine. “Ch-Ch-Christ,” Callum managed. “Do we need to drive any further tonight?” Dan asked. “I… I….” And there was David in his head, and he heard that voice…. “I don’t believe it! You actually fucked Paul behind my back? Well, I’ll be goddamned! Good for you! Good for you, you bastard! You know how bad I’ve wanted up his ass? And

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 19 you of all people got him? Well, I’ll be dipped in shit! Good for you, honey!” “You’re not pissed?” “Jesus, Callum! I’m pissed that I didn’t get him, but I’m not pissed that you did.” “But you said you didn’t want an open relationship….” “Christ on a crutch! Do we have to talk about this? Why do you always want to talk about it? Does it have to be official? You know whose bed I’ll be in tonight, and I know who’ll be in mine! Do we have to talk about this all the goddamn time? Can’t we ever talk about something else?” And so David had totally dismissed the one time that Callum had—for all intents and purposes—done something against everything he believed in; cheated. It didn‟t matter that David cheated. It didn‟t make it right. Callum felt his spine stiffen, his back straighten. He looked Dan in the eyes. And then he heard his voice say, “You know, I‟m tired of driving. Let‟s get a room.” and fought the panic that threatened to well up over him. My God, he had actually said that! Fuck you, he said to someone (he wasn‟t sure who). Fuck you!

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Chapter Three THE hotel was cheap and tacky. Cheap was the order of the day (neither had much money), and tacky was… well, what they got when they were cheap. There was a strange odor that Callum couldn‟t quite identify—sort of like that nasty smell of the towels that were provided in gym class back in high school. A musty smell was there, too, with maybe with a little bit of Clorox and poppers thrown in for good measure. And sex, of course. How many countless illicit liaisons had taken place in the little room? Tacky was a kind word. Callum just stood a few feet into the room and looked around, a surprised expression on his face. “Damn…,” he said. “David would go crazy if we checked in to a place like this! He always insists on the best rooms. But he works for a hotel, so no matter what city we go to, he always gets an amazing discount. I‟ve never liked spending that much on a hotel room. I mean, you only use them to sleep in, right?” With that Callum realized he‟d ruined the mood. He‟d brought up his lover just as he and Dan had walked into a room they had chiefly rented for sex. And he‟d made the stupid comment about only needing a hotel room for sleep. It certainly put a damper on things. He quickly tried to backpedal.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 21 “What I mean is… when we went on vacations, we spent our days sightseeing!” He shrugged. “And our nights we were out cruising the bars. Unless of course we went to see some out-of-towner that was visiting SFO….” And he only succeeded in further short-circuiting a wonderful sexually charged situation. Dan made a noise that seemed to be a strange combination of a chuckle and a sigh and crossed the room. He turned on the little TV and sat on the edge of the queensize bed. The dilapidated mattress almost sent him sliding onto the floor. This time he did laugh, shook his head, and leaned forward to see what was on. “I‟m sorry,” Callum said as The Dick Van Dyke Show theme song filled the tiny room. He took a step forward and tripped over a tear in the carpet at almost the exact moment Robert Petrie tripped over the footstool. Luckily he didn‟t hit the floor. “You okay?” Dan asked. “Oh, I don‟t know…. I guess so,” Callum said, and then he saw Dan was asking if he‟d hurt himself and not wondering about his state of mind. He slumped his shoulders. “Jeez, Danny, I‟m sorry….” Dan smiled and looked up at Callum through his bangs. “You‟re not very good at this, are you?” Callum didn‟t know how to respond to that. He wasn‟t even sure what Dan was trying to say. Was he saying he wasn‟t good in sexual situations? Saying he was awkward? Not very manly? What?

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 22 Dan‟s smile, so sweet, broadened, and the dimples that Callum found so sexy reappeared. “I‟m glad. Come here.” Dan patted the bed beside him. “Just don‟t trip….” Callum waited a moment, then joined his new friend. Jeez, he thought, I do know how to throw a wet blanket over things, don’t I? Isn’t that what David says? You’ve spoiled so many perfect opportunities! came David‟s voice, unbidden. And you fucking ask me why I don’t call you every time I find someone who wants to have sex? “I‟m sorry, Danny… Dan.” “No, Callum. I‟m sorry. I was pushing. And please call me Danny.” He looked deeply into Callum‟s eyes. “I like it when you say it.” Callum turned away and looked down at the floor. He couldn‟t look into those beautiful eyes another second. They were so deep, so intense. It was like Danny could look into his head, into his soul. “I ruin everything….” “That‟s David talking, isn‟t it?” Callum jumped. It really was like Danny could see into him! “I… I‟m just not… I‟m not all suave and debonair, you know? I can be such a big geek when it comes to this kind of thing….” “You feel guilty….” Callum stamped his foot, making the lamp shake and the TV sputter. “Yes, dammit! And there‟s no reason for it, is there? If I was David, we‟d have had sex already, you know that? He would have jumped on you in the bathroom back at the gas station. And you‟d be a hundred miles back down the road somewhere.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 23 “But I‟m not with David,” Dan said softly and gently laid a hand on Callum‟s knee. “I‟m with you. And David wouldn‟t have gotten me….” “Oh, I don‟t know,” Callum interrupted. “He‟s very sexy….” “I don‟t like that approach. Turns me off, as a matter of fact. I don‟t like to be used that way….” Callum looked up, eyes growing wet, and with a burst of anger said, “Oh! And we aren‟t about to use each other?” Dan tilted his head, and one corner of his mouth turned up. “There are different ways to „use‟ people, you know. If two people need each other, even if it‟s only for the night…. If they‟re looking for something a little bit more than sex, if they‟re helping each other through a cold, dark night….” “That sounds like a damned country and western song,” said Callum a bit too sharply and then saw the flash of hurt (?) in Dan‟s eyes. “Damn! God, I‟m sorry.” “You apologize a lot, you know that? Is that David again?” The tears were really welling up in his eyes now. “I… I….” How could Dan know about that? “Callum, you know half the reason I find you so irresistible?” Callum just sat, not saying anything, waiting for Dan to finish. Callum was afraid if he said another word, he really would start crying. God, he was such a damned sissy! “I like you because you‟re not all „suave and debonair‟, whatever the hell that means. If I‟m gonna be used, I don‟t want it to be like a piece of toilet paper. You know how long

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 24 it‟s been since I‟ve had sex? No, I take that back. Do you know how long it‟s been since I‟ve made love with a man? Had sex where I really connected with someone first? I love sex, and believe me, I‟m no angel. I‟ve been with a lot of men. But sex is so much better when you at least fucking know the guy‟s name! I like to talk with someone I‟m gonna screw.” “Me too! David hasn‟t dragged me kicking and screaming into our… adventures. I used to think all I wanted was monogamy, but David has shown me that sex with others is fun. But jeez, I still want to connect somehow. It pisses David off if a trick comes over and we start talking.” Callum wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “David wants the guy to come in, fuck, and then get the hell out! I like to talk first. I love it when the guy wants to stick around and talk afterward. It‟s so much better that way. It‟s less… cheap. Oh! But then David just rants and raves after the guy leaves. Tells me I ruined it for him and that‟s why he sneaks around.” “He‟s just using that as an excuse. You know that, right?” Callum leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. He didn‟t want Danny to see his tears. Dan put an arm around Callum‟s shoulder and pulled him closer. “David wants to screw around, and he‟s going to do it too. No matter what you do or say. And he‟s going to blame you. But it‟s not your fault. Stop blaming yourself. Stop wondering if he‟s cheating because you‟re not good enough in bed, or your dick‟s not big enough, or if it‟s because your dick‟s cut, or you talk too much with your

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 25 tricks. David would mess around no matter who and what you were. “And David‟s wrong. You’re the one who „gets it‟. You should connect with someone before you have sex, at least a little bit. It makes it better every single time. You know, Plato said that we all used to be like two people connected together, and the gods got mad at us and split us apart, and ever since then we‟ve been wandering around trying to reconnect with our other half.” Callum rubbed his eyes and looked back over at Danny. He couldn‟t believe what the man was saying. It was the exact kind of thing he liked to think about, to talk about. And the exact kind of thing that would either cause David to make fun of him or to fall asleep just as he was getting really passionate about what he was talking about. “Callum, I know just what you‟re saying. If all I wanted was to get off, I could stick my dick through a glory hole or just jack off. I like the fact that you‟re a little awkward, okay? I like the fact that this isn‟t just an everyday thing for you.” “But it is,” Callum cried, and this time the tears really did start. “Oh God, Danny, I‟m such a damned slut! I have no goddamned idea how many men I‟ve had sex with! I‟ve lost count! I wouldn‟t even know how to figure it out!” “Would you have had sex with that many people if it weren‟t for David?” “Danny.” Callum pulled away. “I can‟t blame him. He didn‟t twist my arm! He didn‟t force me to do anything. Didn‟t tie me down—unless I let him. It‟s my fault! My responsibility. I could have said no.” “So why didn‟t you?”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 26 “I don‟t know. I want to! At least sometimes I do. Do you know that sometimes I hallucinate that I step out of my body and watch myself have sex with these guys?” For a moment, Dan didn‟t say anything. Then, so quietly Callum had to lean in to hear it all, Dan said, “Callum, you sweet thing. Did you know that is a common sign of sexual abuse? He‟s abusing you, Callum. Did you know that? Did you know he‟s an addict? Did you know that addicts always try to pull their spouses down into their addiction with them? That way they don‟t have to get better. And they don‟t have to feel guilty, either.” Callum didn‟t know what to say. He couldn‟t believe the words that were coming out of Danny‟s mouth. In some ways it seemed so alien. The words were almost echoing through the room, and then Callum realized Danny had actually shocked him. Deeply. And in that moment he also knew what Danny was saying was true. He felt the truth in the words. He knew in his bones that every word was true. He had known it for a long time; he just hadn‟t allowed himself to know it. The emotions were rising up like a flood in him; they burst out like water from a collapsing damn. He couldn‟t stop them. Danny‟s words had let loose the floodwaters, and the tears exploded out of him in near hysteria. He could almost hear David. “Oh, there you go, trying to manipulate me! Just like a damned housewife!” And then he would have stamped out of their apartment until who knew how late. Late enough to get laid.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 27 But unlike David, Danny was there. He hadn‟t stamped out. He took Callum in his arms and rocked him, stroked his hair. When the tears finally began to subside, he maneuvered Callum up into the bed, pulled off his shoes and socks, and pulled off his shirt. He made no move to remove the jeans but instead got up, turned off both the TV and lamp, and after stripping down to his own jeans, snuggled up with Callum. “Sorry again about my smell. I can take a quick shower.” “No,” Callum managed. He was still crying, but just a little. “I like it. I think it‟s sexy.” He scooted even closer into Dan‟s arms and rested his head against Dan‟s shoulder, his nose barely inches from the spot that seemed to be embarrassing the man. They lay like that for a while, and later, neither knew just who had fallen asleep first. It didn‟t really matter. What mattered was that two lonely people were just a little less lonely that night.

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Chapter Four THEY drove more than ten hours the next day, but with Dan helping, it wasn‟t hard driving. And for once, Callum had company that actually liked to talk. Sometimes Dan made it hard for him to get a word in edgewise. Callum found that wonderfully refreshing. He loved to talk with people about all kinds of things, and sometimes, when the person he was with didn‟t join in the conversation, he found himself talking faster and faster, as if he were trying to fill in the moments of silence. Danny liked to talk too. And it wasn‟t nonsense shit. To Callum‟s joy, they talked about a whole gamut of topics, including spirituality. Danny had explored a lot of religious paths, from Wicca to Buddhism, and Callum found himself hanging on his new friend‟s words. Callum had inadvertently laid his spiritual side aside many years ago. There just wasn‟t time for church and the glory hole too. It wasn‟t like he was going to get David to get up on Sunday morning for anything, especially church. Maybe he‟d thrown the baby out with the bathwater? Danny‟s non-dogmatic views of God seemed to spark something deep inside him. Somehow, Danny had gotten up that morning and not only showered, but sneaked out and got them some breakfast without ever waking Callum. Callum wasn‟t sure

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 29 how he‟d done it. He was usually a light sleeper, and the fact that Danny had managed to disengage himself from their intertwined limbs without interrupting Callum‟s sleep only showed him how tired he must have been. But then driving for hours and going through an emotional crisis could do that. And he was certainly going through a lot of shit. Breakfast in bed had been a treat, even if it was McDonald‟s egg-and-sausage biscuits. Danny had brought coffee too. Not the Mickey D‟s shit, or the burned-to-a-crisp Starbucks, either. He‟d actually found a little café and brought back two huge cups of what was about the best coffee Callum had ever had. But he was disappointed to see that Danny was already dressed. At least he was wearing another tank top. More than once that day, Callum‟s mind wandered back to the previous night. One moment he would feel so guilty— how could he be mad at David for cheating when he‟d almost done the same thing with Danny? Two wrongs did not make a right. The next moment he would be filled with regret for (once again) ruining a situation that had been filled with incredible potential. Even when, miracle of miracles, things seemed to somehow right themselves and the ruined evening began to smooth out and get interesting again, he‟d done it once more. Messed things up. He‟d fallen asleep. When Callum‟s thoughts returned to their kiss right there on the city sidewalk—Salt Lake City was not the Castro!—how sexy it had been, how charged, he would get a throbbing erection. But if Danny had seen it, he hadn‟t said a word.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 30 That’s because you fucked it up, came that voice that belonged to David—that voice that was always ready to criticize, always ready to lay blame. Why would he say anything about your boner? Why? After what you did to him last night? You had this hot guy right there in your bed, all hard and ready to fuck you, and you blew it! What the hell’s your problem? That brought on a mass of confused emotions, too, guilt being the main one. He was actually feeling guilt that he hadn’t fooled around behind David‟s back! Now what sense did that make? But maybe it wasn‟t guilt? It was regret. And that realization shocked him. He really wasn‟t feeling guilt. Not at all! He didn‟t have a damned thing to feel guilty about. It was enough to make him gasp and swerve on the road. “You okay there, Callum?” God! He was okay. He was more than okay. “I feel good,” he said, and he laughed when he realized he‟d said it out loud. “You do?” Danny asked.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 31 “I was feeling so fucking bad when I stopped at the little gas station. So bad and so sad. So lonely. Shit. Now I feel like I could fly.” Danny smiled. “It feels so wonderful just to talk, you know? People in San Francisco just don‟t talk much. When I do get to talk, I can‟t stop, and soon their eyes glass over, and I just cave in, you know?” “I do know,” Danny said. “That‟s why you have to pick your Sangha.” “My what?” “Sangha. It‟s a Buddhist concept, but what it really winds up meaning is surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Being there for them and them being there for you. You keep each other „on track‟.” “David never listens to me. He can fall asleep right in the middle of me talking. I‟ve gotten so I don‟t want to talk at all anymore. But it‟s different with you.” “I so understand, baby.” Baby! The word sent a thrill through him. Funny how Danny using that word made his heart soar. David used to make him feel that way when he used that word. A man had never called him that before David, but after a while it was just a word. Now a man he hardly knew was using it and it felt wonderful. He‟d been afraid he couldn‟t feel joy anymore. “You are so amazing, Callum.” The words surprised Callum. “Me?” “You have such light in you. So strong and bright.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 32 Callum laughed. “What do you mean?” “You have changed so much in such a few hours. There was such a… pall over you when we met. And now you are like a flame.” “I think maybe you had something to do with that.” “Nope,” said Danny. “It‟s you. You are amazing.” “Tell David that,” said Callum with a huff. “I mean it, Callum. And fuck David. I would so like to meet that man and tell him what I think of him.” Callum felt something stir in his chest. Oh, why hadn‟t he met Danny instead of David? Why couldn‟t he be with someone like Danny instead? “My life could be so different today,” he said. “Your life can be whatever you want it to be.” “Yeah, right.” “I mean it,” Callum insisted. “You control your life. No one else. You are not a book that‟s been written in and that can‟t be changed. You can be whatever you want to be.” “You should be on Oprah,” Callum said, regretting the words almost instantly. “I‟ll tell her that,” Danny said, and he grinned that grin. “You‟ve been so unhappy.” “Tell me about it.” “You know why, don‟t you?” “Yeah, because my lover is a goddamned cheater.” “That‟s just a symptom,” said Danny. “For things to get better, you have to change the cause.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 33 Callum shook his head and felt a strange rise of anger. He didn‟t like feeling that way about Danny. “The Buddha said that life is difficult. It was his first Noble Truth.” “Well, he was right,” said Callum, trying not to go where his emotions seemed to be directing. “And the second Noble Truth is that we are the cause of our suffering.” “Too bad he didn‟t know about David!” Don’t get angry! Don’t get angry! “You don‟t think there were Davids two-and-a-half thousand years ago? There have been Davids since the cavemen.” “Are you trying to make me feel like shit?” “That‟s just the thing, my friend. I can‟t make you feel anything. You can choose that. See, it isn‟t David‟s cheating that is making you so miserable. It is your reaction to the cheating. The abuse. The cruelty.” All kinds of emotions were swirling now, and it felt bad. “So what the fuck am I supposed to do? Not care?” “That‟s one choice. It‟s not the one I would take,” said Danny. Callum gripped the steering wheel hard, his knuckles going white. “Callum, you wouldn‟t be human if you didn‟t feel anything. If you didn‟t feel hurt by the way he‟s treated you. But he can‟t do anything to you. It is normal to feel hurt. Now you can either wallow in that hurt or recognize it for

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 34 what it is. Normal. And then instead of letting it destroy you, do something about it.” “So what would you do?” “I can‟t tell you what to do, sweetheart. You have to decide that.” “I didn‟t ask you to tell me what to do,” Callum barked. Shit! This was going to a bad place and he didn‟t want that. He took a deep breath. “I asked you what you would do.” “I would decide if I really loved David and if I wanted to stay with him. If I loved him, I‟d lay down the law. No more cheating. Open means honesty. If I decided I didn‟t love him, I‟d leave.” “Easy as fucking that?” “Of course not. It will hurt. It will feel like shit for a while. See, all our suffering stems from the fact that we either grasp at or shove things away. We have something or someone we love, we hold on to it desperately. When it goes away, as all things must—that is the nature of things—then we are miserable. If there is something we don‟t like, we shove it away, and sometimes we can‟t do that. Like I wouldn‟t be able to shove away the bad feeling of leaving my lover and being alone. But it would pass, as all things must.” Suddenly, Callum wasn‟t so sure he liked Danny‟s spirituality after all. “I am sorry. I am doing it again,” Danny said. “Doing what?” “Preaching,” Danny said. “I apologize. You didn‟t ask to be sermonized.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 35 No. I didn’t, Callum thought. Or did I? I was in on this conversation. And I was enjoying his ideas on spirituality until it came to this. What is it about what he said that pissed me off? The fact that he’s putting responsibility for all my pain in my own hands? The thoughts weren‟t easy to swallow. On the other hand, they made a certain sense, really. And he knew it. He knew it deep inside. It was as if some truth he was aware of all along were suddenly being brought to light. Could it really be that easy? Callum felt a loosening he couldn‟t explain, a strange and sudden clarity. He wasn‟t sure he liked it, but something was happening in his head and his heart. Now that Danny was backing off, it was as if he could see something in the man‟s words. Again, he wasn‟t sure how he felt about it, but could it be true? “I did ask,” Callum admitted. “No, I just offered. It‟s just I care about you and hate to see you suffering.” “You care about me,” Callum said, joy flowing in to replace the bad feelings. “I wish I glowed like you.” Callum smiled. “You really think I glow?” “I know it.” God, and now were there tears threatening again? “I thought maybe I was dead,” he whispered.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 36 “Nope. You‟re alive, all right. You‟re a fire. After all you‟ve been through, your spark was just ready to be fanned into an inferno again. You are amazing.” With those words, Callum could feel a fire. “You are the amazing one,” Callum said, and a tear slipped down his cheek. “Maybe we just bring it out in each other,” Danny said. “Sangha?” Callum asked. Danny grinned hugely. “Yes! Sangha. Exactly.”

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Chapter Five THEY stopped that night in a city called Ogallala, of all things. Callum had no idea what Ogallala meant, and supposed it must be Native American. Whenever he heard the name of a city that he couldn‟t pronounce, or looked really odd to him, he just assumed it was Native American. Does that make me prejudiced? he wondered. But this time Callum was right. He found out in the tiny lobby of the motel they stayed in that night that the Ogallala was definitely a Native American tribe. There were postcards and pamphlets advertising shops and tourist attractions (such as they were) as well as pictures of the Ogallala (one quite sexy) on the cheaply paneled walls. Neither Callum nor Danny was overly interested in the attractions, or even in picking a restaurant. In the end, they picked up a pizza. Callum decided he wouldn‟t be surprised if there were a Pizza Hut in Sri Lanka. Danny figured a sixpack of Bud was in order too. “Not very good,” Danny apologized. “But it was cheap.” Callum wasn‟t much of a beer drinker, but somehow that evening, as they lay back in bed together watching TV, the cold brew tasted just right. The sexuality that had so charged the evening before seemed to have fizzled out, and he wasn‟t sure if he was relieved or disappointed. Despite that, Callum still found that he was a little nervous. If David

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 38 were here, he would take complete charge, and Callum could just tag along for the ride. But David wasn‟t here, and Callum just didn‟t know what to do. “I almost got us something from the local brewery. I love a microbrewery. They make beer taste the way it‟s supposed to and not like watered-down piss. But funds are tight until I get to St. Louis, so this will have to do. It will get us there.” “There?” Callum asked. Danny winked, then raised his arm and laid it along the headboard, his fingers just behind Callum‟s shoulders. Danny turned his head and with a raised eyebrow said, “I didn‟t put on any deodorant this morning.” He winked. “Since you like that….” Fizzled? Were things changing? Callum blushed and felt his dick stir. “You are so damned cute, you know that?” Callum shrugged. “I… I know that you‟re one of the most gorgeous men I‟ve ever seen.” He felt his mouth go dry. “Well, if you‟ve been around as much as you put yourself down about, then that‟s quite the compliment.” The TV was telling them that they should not miss next week‟s episode of Smallville. Neither of them was paying much attention, though. “May I kiss you, Callum?” Callum‟s dry mouth didn‟t allow him to reply. Instead he just nodded. Danny leaned over and touched his lips to Callum‟s. Just that light contact made Callum‟s head swim and his

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 39 cock turn to steel. When Danny pressed a little harder, let his tongue dance across Callum‟s lips, he thought he might faint. His testicles drew up tight, and for just a moment, he thought he was going to cum right in his jeans (and when was the last time that had happened?). God, it had been a long time since he‟d felt like this! It seemed forever since David could bring him so far so fast, yet at one time…. No, don’t think of David! Somehow last night‟s missed opportunity had returned for a second try, and Callum didn‟t want to mess it up again. He opened his mouth, let Danny‟s tongue enter, and returned with his own. Soon Danny was pulling him into his arms, and kissing him like he had not been kissed in years— unless he counted the night before—but no, this was much better! Danny broke the kiss for only a second so that he could maneuver them so that they were no longer leaning against the headboard, but instead resting against the pillows. After that, the kiss seemed to go on forever. That was when Callum knew that he really had never been kissed like this before. Danny made David look like a novice. When Danny finally pulled back, leaving Callum gasping, he whispered, “Can we go further? Will you be okay with this later?” Callum just looked into Danny‟s eyes, pleading for him to take control. He didn‟t want to make the decision. As if reading his mind (again!), Danny shook his head and said, “I can‟t do that for you, sweet thing. It has to be up to you.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 40 If Callum thought his mouth was dry before, it now felt like the Salt Lake Desert. “I wa-want… t-to… I want to so bad….” “But?” Callum didn‟t say anything. He couldn‟t. “I am not going to talk you into anything. But I will say this….” “You… you‟re gonna tell me that David would do it….” “I‟m not going to say anything like that,” Danny said. “You‟re not David. Thank God. All I am going to say is what you said to me. You told me that your relationship is now „finally, officially open‟, even if you haven‟t „put it on paper‟. I also think it‟s been way too long since you‟ve been made love to, although I‟ll bet you make love to David all the time.” Without any warning, Callum felt tears threatening him again. Damn! Why did this keep happening with Danny? “I would really like to make love to you, Callum.” Danny paused, looked at Callum for what seemed like forever with those deep, bottomless eyes. “I want you to make love to me. I don‟t want to just get off. I want this to be a special moment. When you‟re back living in San Francisco and I‟m living wherever the hell I‟ll be living, I want for both of us to remember this for a long, long time. I want it to be a wonderful memory.” He stopped again, letting Callum absorb the words (and oh, what words they were!). “You decide.” After that, Callum didn‟t need to think about it anymore. He desperately needed and wanted what Danny was offering. He knew right then that if he was going to regret anything, he would rather regret being with Danny

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 41 than spending his life kicking himself for missing out on what this man wanted to share with him. After he reached up and pulled Danny‟s face to his own, within seconds of kissing him back, he knew that there would be no regrets. They made love for hours. They explored each other with kisses and tongues and touch. They began to undress each other and hurled clothes away as if they were something offensive. Callum found why Danny had been so willing to tease him about his accidentally admitted fetish. He shared it. Early on, Danny pulled Callum‟s face into his sweaty armpit and somehow managed to twist in such a way that he could devour Callum‟s at the same time. The licking and sucking and gentle tugging of hair with teeth nearly sent Callum over the edge again. Danny‟s natural scents had him put him on that edge. It wasn‟t nasty or strong or acrid. Just a clean, manly scent. It was Danny. It made his tongue tingle, and when they returned to kissing, he knew that they were tasting themselves on each other‟s tongues. “I don‟t know why you think you‟re fat,” Danny said, laying his hand on Callum‟s belly. “Danny! Just look! Now look at your abs and tell me I‟m not fat!” Danny locked those gorgeous eyes on his. “You‟re not fat. You‟re human. I like human. I like it a lot. God gave me my abs. I‟ve hardly done much to keep them.” Danny ran his hand up to Callum‟s nipples. “And I love these. So dark and big, like quarters.” “David says—”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 42 “Shhh! I say they‟re hot!” Danny bent down and tongued one into almost instant hardness, then sucked, then nibbled. “Oh God!” said Callum, wanting to push up to meet those teeth and pull away at the same time. When Danny rested his warm open palm on Callum‟s still-jeans-covered cock, Callum arched off the bed and almost came again. “We need to take care of this,” said Danny. “That hair trigger is going to complicate things way too much.” Danny scooted down, pulled down Callum‟s zipper, allowing his wet erection to burst from the fly. Without waiting, he took Callum deep into his mouth, and with a shout, Callum dumped what seemed like an endless orgasm into Danny‟s gulping throat. When the tidal wave finally receded, Callum collapsed back onto the bed, mouth and eyes wide open. It took Callum a while to be able to speak. “Wh-Why did you do that? I wanted it to last.” “Oh, this is going to last. We just couldn‟t have you that close so early. That was going to make things way too difficult. Now we can relax a little. Believe me, I‟m going to make you cum again. I gonna make you cum so many times you‟re going to have to sleep every time I drive tomorrow.” Danny kissed him again. When Callum was finally able to make his way down Dan‟s beautiful body and get a close look at his straining erection, he knew he would enjoy it more than being pleasured himself.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 43 Danny‟s cock was beautiful. Long, thick, incredibly rigid, it was like velvet-covered iron. The foreskin was one of the most beautiful Callum had ever seen. The skin was thick but still allowed him to see the shape of the glans beneath it. The opening met perfectly at the tip yet was loose enough for him to slide it back and forth, revealing and then hiding the sticky head. Callum all but devoured it. The taste and smell were exquisite, just musky enough and not sour or strong. He loved the size of Danny‟s cock, the way it filled his mouth, but not uncomfortably large. He loved the way he could make the loose skin roll out over onto his tongue, how wonderful the satin-like skin felt. There came that moment when Danny tried to push him away, and Callum gasped out around his cock, “Can‟t you cum more than once?” and took the entire length again. Danny relented, stopped struggling, went rigid, and flooded Callum‟s mouth. For one split second, Callum felt gratitude for David, who had taught him to swallow. He didn‟t want to miss one drop of what Danny was giving him, and either gagging or spitting would certainly have ruined the mood. This time Callum was determined that he wasn‟t going to do that anymore. Not with Danny. They didn‟t rest for long. Dan wasn‟t allowing that. He flipped Callum over onto his stomach, and starting at his feet and toes, he licked and sucked every exposed inch of skin, traveling up his legs, skipping his butt (Callum whimpered) and continuing with his back and shoulders, neck and ears. Then and only then did he return to the place he‟d ignored. He covered Callum‟s ass first with gentle kisses, then licks and then more urgent nips and bites (it

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 44 was covered with hickeys the next day). He pulled Callum‟s cheeks apart and mouthed down the cleft until he reached Callum‟s tight, puckered anus. With infinite care and then passion, he licked and probed and kissed until Callum was loose and open and begging for Danny to fuck him. Dan did fuck him. He took just a second to tear open a condom and roll it down his length before nudging the head against Callum‟s ready opening. He pushed and just that easily buried half his cock into Callum. “God,” Callum shouted. “Oh God, yes…. Please, Dan… please!” Danny pushed the rest of the way into him, his heated and low-hanging balls coming to rest against Callum‟s. Then he pulled back and hesitated just long enough for Callum to beg again. He shoved deep and strong and was soon grinding into his lover. Callum cried out, pushing back, arching his back so that he could take Danny as deeply into himself as possible. Danny lasted as long as he could, varying his speed and thrusts and angles, pulling Callum up onto his hands and knees for better access, fucking him as thoroughly as possible, using a skill Callum could not believe. All too soon Danny reached the point of no return, and his whole body froze as he began to cum. He slumped onto Callum‟s back and somehow managed to reach under and take hold of his cock. Callum‟s entire body was vibrating, and the instant Dan grabbed his erection, he began to ejaculate onto the sheets beneath him. Between Dan‟s weight and the

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 45 incredibly intense orgasm, he collapsed onto the bed into near unconsciousness. They lay there panting for only a short while when Dan pulled his still-hard cock from Callum and flipped him over. When he saw that Callum was also still fairly hard, he practically fell into the V of Callum‟s legs and began to orally bring him back to full erection. “You taste so good.” “No… no,” Callum managed to blurt. “Too sensitive.” But Dan was hearing none of it. He found another condom and, using his mouth, dressed Callum‟s hard cock. He spit into his palm and rubbed it into the crack of his ass and climbed onto Callum. The fit wasn‟t as easy as Callum‟s since he‟d not been so thoroughly rimmed. “There‟s some lube in—” Callum started to say, but Danny hushed him. “I don‟t care. I don‟t want lube, just the kind God gave us. I want to feel this. I want to know days from now, when I‟m in some city I‟ve never been to before, that I‟ve been fucked. I want to be reminded.” He forced himself down onto Callum‟s cock, causing both of them to squint through a moment of pain. “Jesus, you‟re tight,” Callum said through clenched teeth. “You should have let me….” “I can‟t wait,” said Dan, and then his body stopped resisting, and to both their delights, he was instantly impaled to the hilt. Somehow, Dan found the strength to hump himself up and down on Callum, giving them a mind-dazzling fuck. It took a little longer this time, but all too soon Callum was

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 46 ready to cum for the third time, and Dan fisted his erection into a simultaneous orgasm. After that they finally rested. For a while. Afterward, they took a long hot shower and cleaned and soaped and toweled each other into another round of lovemaking. Neither got much sleep that night. Neither really wanted it. Both had needed something else far more.

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 47

Chapter Six THEY got out of the motel room just before the motel manager charged them for a second night. That was after Danny had called and gotten them a late check-out. Callum was crazy-happy that day. He couldn‟t even think of how long it had been since he‟d felt this way. He felt like a kid. He couldn‟t wait to get Danny in his bed at home. It was small, and they‟d have to be quiet with his mom just down the hall, but that would be okay. They had made enough noise in the last twenty-four hours! During the day his mom would be at work and they could make all the noise they wanted. He looked over at Danny and grinned again. He couldn‟t see his expression with only the dashboard light—and despite his pleas Danny had insisted they end the day in Terra‟s Gate instead of stopping only a few hours away—but he could imagine it in his head. The incredible eyes and that smile with its deep dimples. Callum felt a stirring in his pants. How amazing to have this much sex with one person, he thought. They‟d hardly been able to keep their hands off each other since last night. They‟d actually stopped at two rest areas to catch a quickie. He loved the danger of the stalls, the excitement of sitting on the toilet meditation-style so his legs didn‟t show, sucking Danny off as he stood there before

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 48 him, with no one the wiser. There were people right there in the bathroom, sometimes in the next stall, but they could only see Danny‟s feet and had no idea what was going on. By the time it was his turn to stand, he never lasted more than a minute. It was less than an eight-hour drive from Ogallala, Nebraska to Terra‟s Gate. But between dinner and their other stops, it was nearly midnight when they passed the sign that warned that Callum‟s hometown was just eight miles away. It also revealed that another rest stop was just ahead. “Callum, stop there,” Danny said. “Again?” Callum grinned, and sure enough, his cock was responding to the idea. It was like he was eighteen again. “You horny boy!” Callum said. “We‟ll be at my mom‟s house in ten minutes.” Callum grinned and turned on his blinker. “I‟m not going any further,” said Danny. Huh? What did he say? “What are you talking about?” asked Callum. “I thought you said you were going to St. Louis.” “I am. I just mean there‟s no sense in me going any further with… you.” “What do you mean?” he asked, his mind a sudden whorl of confusion. “You can come home with me tonight!” “Callum! Pull off! The rest area is right there!” Callum turned off onto the exit. His stomach clenched, and he fought off a premonitory wave of panic. “What‟s going on?”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 49 Dan didn‟t say anything until Callum had pulled the car in the lot behind the ugly brick tourist building. “Sweetie….” Callum felt Dan take his hand, and he allowed him to pull it off the steering wheel. “I want you to leave me here,” Danny said. Callum‟s eyes were wide. What was he saying? Leave him? But what about quiet sex in his own bed? His real bed. And noisy sex while his mom was at work? This was crazy. “At midnight? I can‟t leave you at a place like this at midnight!” Callum tried to pull his hand away, but Danny wouldn‟t let him. What the hell was going on? he wondered. This didn‟t make sense. There was a hard-on in his pants that had gotten there at the suggestion of stopping for another rest-stop quickie. Danny was supposed to be going down on him, not telling him he was staying here. “You can‟t take me to your place.” Callum didn‟t know why, but he suddenly felt like vomiting. “Why can‟t I?” “Because it‟s your mom‟s house.” “So what?” Callum swallowed. He didn‟t like this feeling. Not at all. Thirty seconds ago he‟d felt better than he had in months—no!—years. And now…. “If we show up at your mom‟s house at twelve thirty, isn‟t she going to wonder who I am?” “So what? I don‟t care!” This was not good! He wasn‟t ready to let Danny go. Not by a long shot! “Danny, I can just tell her you‟re a friend!” he cried. “Sweetie, your mom has been expecting you all day. She‟s gotta be worried. She knows David. You pull in after

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 50 midnight with some stranger that you‟ve never mentioned once, and she‟s not going to wonder what‟s up? No, Callum, it would be best if you just left me here. I‟ll get a trucker to take me the rest of the way to St. Louis. That‟ll be easy.” And once again, Callum knew he was about to cry. He could tell this was going to be one to rock the house. This was horrible! How could this be happening? Everything was so incredible and now…. “Callum, my sweet boy,” Danny said, and he tried to pull him closer. Callum started to allow it. He wanted to be held. But then he jerked back. “No! You‟re just trying to dump me!” “Callum, I am not trying to dump you. But it‟s time. You‟re home, and I‟m going on….” “You can‟t wait a few days?” The panic that was growing inside was starting to overwhelm him. How could this be happening? “Callum, I‟ve got a job waiting for me. My friend expected me today. I can‟t stay with you for a few days. You‟ll be visiting your mom and….” “I don‟t care,” Callum all but shouted. The tears were flowing. “Please, Danny…. Not yet.” Danny sighed audibly. “Callum. I‟ve got to go.” “Please,” Callum sobbed. “I‟m not ready! Oh please, please, please, please, please, Danny. Please….” Danny reached out and pulled him close again. “Callum. You knew this was the end of the line. What‟s going on? You knew this was our last day. Isn‟t that why we‟ve been jumping each other‟s bones every couple of hours?”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 51 “I thought it was because you liked me!” “I do like you! What are you talking about?” No! This was not happening! Then he said it. He couldn‟t stop himself. “Danny… I‟m in love with you!” “Oh. Callum. You‟re not in love with me!” But there was no denying the amazing feelings that were inside him. The happiness. The joy. He didn‟t care that they‟d just met. “I am in love with you, Danny.” “You can‟t. We hardly know each other.” “Stop talking like that! You don‟t think I know what I feel? How could I not be in love you after what you‟ve done for me? And don‟t you say it was just sex!” “Callum.” Danny pulled him even tighter (and God, it felt so good). “You can‟t fall in love that fast.” “I can! And….” And maybe he wasn‟t in love with Danny… but he did love him. He told him so. “Thank you, Callum. That is incredibly sweet.” “How can I help it?” Callum asked. He had to convince Danny to stay at least another day! “Danny, you‟ve saved me. You‟ve brought me back to life!” “No, Callum. You saved you. You just needed a helping hand.” “Pleeeeaase,” Callum begged, aware on some level he was ruining things again, totally humiliating himself, and for what? A man? San Francisco was full of men! But none of them were Danny. “Callum! Listen to me and listen now!”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 52 The sharpness of Danny‟s voice was almost a slap. Callum shut up. “You are an amazing man, and I do like you. A lot. Believe me. I am tempted to stay. But I can‟t. Because if I did, you really would be cheating on David. You would be no better than him. You are, Callum. You are much better than him.” Callum felt his stomach drop. He would be cheating on David? They had a fucking „open relationship‟ now. How could he cheat? But then he saw what Danny was saying, and dammit, he didn‟t want to! If he brought Danny home he would be cheating. Because what David did with those men was just with his dick or mouth or ass…. What he was doing was with his heart…. “I… I… I‟ll leave him!” he said. Yes! He would! Hadn‟t he wanted to? For a long time now? He‟d just been too scared. But with someone like Danny in his life…. “That‟s your choice. I think it would be a damned good one. But you have to leave him for you, Callum. Not me.” “I‟ll call him as soon as we get to my mom‟s place,” said Callum desperately. “If you want to call him as soon as you get to your mom‟s house, you do that. But I can‟t be there when you do it. You can‟t jump out of one man‟s arms into another‟s. If you do, you‟ll never know if your new man is any better than the old one.” “How could you be worse?” asked Callum in disbelief. “Callum, please. Don‟t ruin this.”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 53 Callum stiffened. Once again Danny had read his mind. “The last couple of days have been some of the most beautiful in my whole life. I mean that. And the love we‟ve made has been beyond belief. I can‟t remember when it was that good. But I have to go to St. Louis. I need that job. And you have things you need to work out. You knew that before we ever met. You just didn‟t let yourself know it. That‟s what it is that I did. I helped you see it.” And Callum knew it was true. Every word. But he just didn‟t want to let go. Not yet. “Couldn‟t you wait until tomorrow? Give me one more day?” “Callum, that would be even worse.” How could it be worse? “Having one more night of cuddling would be bad?” Danny didn‟t say anything for a minute, and Callum felt a moment of hope rise in his chest. But…. “It would be way worse. That would confuse you even more. You‟ve got to work things out with David. Figure out what you want.” I want you, thought Callum. But he knew that what Danny was saying was true, dammit. If he slept with this beautiful man one more night, he wouldn‟t be able to let him go. And wasn‟t that what caused suffering? Not letting go when it was time? But why did it have to be time? “Maybe if we had met a different way.” Oh, what a stupid thing to say! “Danny! We met in the middle of a fucking desert. What are the odds? Think about that!”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 54 “I‟d say pretty slim. But it must have been meant to be. We needed the last few days, we both did.” Something stirred inside Callum. He wasn‟t sure what. But those last words…. “You needed me too?” he asked. “Yes, I did.” So they sat there for quite a while after that. A good twenty minutes passed, at least, and then Callum heard the words, “Please, Callum. Go. Go now.” “I‟m never going to see you again, am I?” asked Callum. “Oh, I don‟t know. It‟s like you said, we met in the middle of a „fucking desert‟. Surely I can find you in San Francisco.” “Can I give you my number?” Callum asked. “Of course you can. I would love that.” Callum grabbed a pad of paper and pen that he kept under his visor and quickly put his home number on the small page, and then his mother‟s as an afterthought. He tore if off and gave it to Danny. “Can I have yours?” “I don‟t have one, Callum.” Oh. That was right. “Your friend‟s?” “I don‟t think that would be a good idea….” Oh, thought Callum. Friend…. “No, not a boyfriend,” said Danny reading his mind again. “He just wouldn‟t like it. But I will call you, I promise.” Callum took a deep breath, tried to be brave. Jeez, he was thirty-three years old! Wasn‟t it time he started acting like a man? “Can I have one last kiss?”

Desert Crossing | B.G. Thomas 55 Danny laughed. “You bet.” Danny leaned forward and gave him the kiss he‟d asked for. But it was different. Not world-shaking. It was… brotherly. “Our meeting was a good thing,” Danny said, his voice warm and sweet. “And who knows what more could come out of it?” A few minutes later Danny got out of the car. A few after that, Callum was on the road. Tears made the driving tricky; his vision was all blurred. But he was home less than fifteen minutes later, and as soon as he pulled into the driveway and turned off the car, he began to bawl like a baby. He sat there and cried for a long time. Until his mother came out to the car and, like the wonderful woman she was, helped him in the house and never asked anything but if he was okay. Our meeting was a good thing, Danny had said. And who knows what more could come out of it? What good could come out of their parting, Callum wondered as he finally fell asleep. Except…. The next day he did decide to finally leave David. And he did it for himself.

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About the Author

B.G. THOMAS lives in Kansas City with his husband of more than a decade and their fabulous little dog. He sees his wonderful daughter just often enough to miss her when she isn't there. He has a romantic soul and is extraordinarily lucky to have many friends. He loves science fiction and fantasy, horror, and romance, and has gone to SF&F conventions his entire adult life. He's been lucky enough to meet many of his favorite writers. He has made up stories since he was kid; it is where he finds his joy. In the nineties, he wrote for gay magazines but stopped because they wanted all porn without plot. Excited about the growing same-sex romance market, he started writing again. He sent out a story and was thrilled when it was almost immediately accepted. "Leap, and the net will appear," is his personal philosophy. "It is never too late," he states. "Pursue your dreams. They will come true!" Visit his web site at http://bgthomas.t83.net or his blog at http://bg-thomas.livejournal.com.

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Copyright

Desert Crossing ©Copyright B.G. Thomas, 2011 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Art by Paul Richmond http://www.paulrichmondstudio.com This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the Publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America February 2011 eBook Edition eBook ISBN: 978-1-61581-782-5