Dating younger women

Secrets of Dating Younger Women By Dean Cortez Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K

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All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher except for brief passages which may be used by a reviewer. Copying by any means including electronic methods, selling or hiring, transmission by voice, electronic mail, posting to a website or uploading to an FTP site or CD duplication is strictly forbidden. Legal action will be taken against offenders. If perjury is discovered the offenders will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

LEGAL NOTICES: The author, publisher, resellers, agents or distributors assume no liability or responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any errors, omissions, contradictory interpretations of the subject matter herein to be caused directly or indirectly by the use of and the advice given in this publication. To the fullest extent permitted by applicable laws, in no event shall the “Secrets Of Dating Younger Women” program, in association with Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K, BulletproofSeduction.com, and its agents or suppliers be liable for damages of any kind or character, including without limitation any compensatory, incidental, direct, indirect, special, punitive, or consequential damages, loss of use, loss of data, loss of income or profit, loss of or damage to property, claims of third parties, arising out of or in connection with the use of the “Secrets Of Dating Younger Women” or any web site which it is linked to.

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Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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4 Table of Contents: Introduction by Dean Cortez………………………………………………………5 1: My Experiences With Younger Women by Ron Louis….................15 2. Savoy and Sheriff from Love Systems………………………………………24 3: The Myth of the “Mid-Life Crisis”…………………………………………...35 4: A Conversation With Legendary Dating Coach Zan Perrion………41 5: Don’t Make That Mistake! by Eric Disco………………………………….51 6. Crucial Mistakes Older Men Make With Younger Women………...65 7: Meeting Younger Women Online……………………………………….…...73 8. Live A Rockin’ Lifestyle, Date Younger Chicks!………………………...93 9. Reprogram Your Mindset & Be The Man They Want………………...102 10. Modern Courtship Tactics For the Mature Man………………………110 11. The Importance of Originality…………………………………….………....122 12. Be An Alpha Man & Attract Younger Women (Carlos Xuma)…...134 13: Inside The Mind Of A Younger Woman (Christian Hudson)…….159 14. Controlling Her Reality…………………………………………………………165 15. Feeling Younger, Dating Younger (Vin DiCarlo)………………..….…171 16. How To Put Younger Women In “Pursuit Mode”……………….…...181 17. The Universal Secret (Nick Sparks)………………………………………..185 18. The Maverick Principle……………………………………………………...…193 19. Achieving the Right Image and Attitude (Lucas West)……………..197 20. Important Qualities for Older Men To Project………………….……205 21. The Science of Dating Younger Women (Dr. Paul Dobransky)….209 22. Advanced Conversation Tactics………………………………………….....222 23. Winning the Game With Younger Women (David Wygant)….….246 24. How To Frame Yourself As the Prize……………………………….……..254 25. In Conclusion……………………………………………………………………...265 26. Recommended Resource……………………………………………………… 268

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An Important Note… Before we jump into this, there’s something we need to say for the record. When we talk about meeting and dating “younger women,” we are only talking about women who are of legal age where you live. Why avoid underage women? First of all, it's wrong—both morally and legally. Not only is it against the law, but it can cause serious psychological problems for the woman for the rest of her life. An interesting, attractive, and seductive man (which you will be after reading this book) must follow a moral and ethical code in his dating life— otherwise he's just a manipulative jerk. Having sex with underage women puts you well beyond the "jerk" category, and in no way is this related to what we teach in this book. This book is all about enjoying awesome, healthy, consensual sex with younger women (of legal age) who you connect with on a physical, mental and emotional level. If this is your intention, read on…and get ready to learn an incredible amount of information and strategies for dating the hot younger women most guys can only fantasize about!

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Introduction by Dean Cortez www.WomenPersuasionSecrets.com Welcome to the new & updated version of “Secrets Of Dating Younger Women.” When I first released this program two years ago, the response was overwhelming. Since then, guys around the world have enjoyed this program and written me to share their success stories. The company behind this program, Women Persuasion Secrets, always stays on the cutting edge of “seduction science”—and personally, I’m out there five or six nights a week developing new methods and improving upon our classic techniques. So, from time to time, we feel the need to revise our programs and include our latest material and findings. This book you are reading is a new and expanded version of the original. (By the way, anyone who purchases our programs automatically receives free, lifetime updates whenever we release new editions.) We’ve included additional chapters and powerful insights from some of the leading experts in the pickup and dating industry. The chapters that follow are a combination of my own writings, and chapters contributed by other experts. (There has never been a book that incorporates contributions from so many of the most popular experts in the dating and seduction field—truly, this information would cost you a fortune if you were to learn it from all of these experts otherwise!) ***** Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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7 Anyway, the other night I met up for drinks with a friend of mine named Jack. Jack is in his mid-forties and recently suffered through a brutal divorce. Jack has cautiously begun to dip his toe back into the dating pool, but he’s a bit nervous about the whole thing—not to mention being severely out of practice. Jack began to complain to me about his lack of success. He’d been using an Internet dating service and had found it fairly easy to line up dates with several women. But so far, the results had been awful. The women Jack were meeting up with were close to his own age, in some cases 4-6 years younger. But while he still possessed the energy and enthusiasm of a younger man, these ladies seemed so…well, old! A typical date would involve Jack shelling out a bunch of money to take the woman out for a nice meal, while she spent most of the time complaining about her ex-husband, problems with her kids, her bills, and other assorted crap he really didn’t want to hear about. So I asked Jack, “If you could describe the perfect woman for you to date— your dream girlfriend—what would she be like?” Jack shrugged and reeled off some of the usual “criteria”: she’d be pretty, in good shape, intelligent, great sense of humor, etc… Then I asked him, “and how old would this woman be? Would she be 45 years old, the same as you?” To this, Jack chuckled and sighed. “Well, I guess if I had my choice, of course she’d be younger. But what would a hot young babe want with a guy like me?” Jack clearly needed some coaching and some positive reinforcement. He takes care of himself and stays in shape. He looks younger than his actual age. He’s also a very smart, interesting guy who’s done a lot of traveling and has a wealth of experiences to share and talk about. So why can’t a guy like Jack enjoy himself with sexy younger women? And furthermore, why would a younger woman not want to date a guy like Jack? I’ll tell you why. It’s because we’ve been conditioned to believe that dating a hot and significantly younger woman is somehow “weird.”

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8 Of course, it’s perfectly fine—in fact, it’s expected—if you’re a rich guy, or a famous guy. Then it’s okay, right? But regular guys like Jack aren’t supposed to consider this option. They think it just wouldn’t be “appropriate” or “acceptable,” and on top of that, they’ve been brainwashed to believe that sexy younger women would never want to date them, anyway! Well, here’s the big dirty “secret” that THEY don’t want you to know about… And when I say “they,” I’m referring to two groups of people: Group #1: The women in your age group. They’re usually either stuck in miserable marriages, or finding it impossible to land a “good man” (i.e. one who will pay their bills and put up with their endless baggage and bullshit). These bitter women certainly don’t want the eligible bachelors in their already-shallow dating pool to have younger women as options! Group #2: Your male friends. I’m going to assume that you don’t have many single guy friends at this point in your life. Most of them (if not all) are married or in serious relationships, and handed over their testicles long ago. As much as they gripe about the confines of their relationship, they believe this is how it’s “supposed to be” once a man reaches a certain age. The fun has to end sometime, right? Sooner or later a man has to settle down and get serious... This is what society, the media, and your friends and family would try to make you believe. And if you’re over the age of 35, the other part of this belief is that you should get “serious” with a woman your age, or very close to it. But this doesn’t mean it’s what men really want. Actually, it runs counter to the way we are hard-wired. To put it bluntly, your buddies would be absolutely mad with jealousy if they knew you were tagging some hot young piece of ass! And here’s the big secret they wish they’d learned before: Men are biologically hard-wired to want to be with younger women; it is a healthy, natural desire. And women are programmed to desire older men. It’s been this way for thousands of years! Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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So what if you are interested in seriously pursuing Option B: dating women who are significantly younger than you are? Well, the benefits of dipping into this dating pool are obvious. You know that women your age typically show up to a relationship with more baggage than Paris Hilton returning home from an all-day shopping spree. The average single woman past the age of 35 is divorced (at least once), probably has at least one child, and has formed a lot of lousy, negative beliefs— and unrealistic expectations—about men and relationships. There’s just too much crap you’ll need to deal with. And why should you? Then, of course, there is the physical appeal of younger women. Smooth skin; shiny, lustrous hair; a firm body that hasn’t begun to sag in all the wrong places; a turbo-charged libido and a willingness to experiment in the bedroom; and perhaps most importantly of all, a sense of exuberance and spontaneity that makes you feel young again. Younger women haven’t been beaten down by the drudgeries of life, by failed dreams and lousy relationships. There is a spark to them, and a lack of cynicism, that is extremely difficult to find in women who’ve been through the emotional hell of divorce, or been out there on the singles scene long past their expiration date. You may not feel comfortable expressing these preferences to your married pals, because it would probably generate resentment and jealousy. They’ll bust on you and call you a “dirty old man” or a “cradle robber” for dating a 25-year-old…and then they’ll go to strip clubs, or wack off to porn featuring women who are much younger than that! And forget about trying to explain to a woman your age that you’re in the market for a young girlfriend. This is when the claws come out! It isn’t just feminists who would howl in anger; women, in general, feel threatened by the notion of men dating women who are substantially younger. They call it wrong. They say it’s creepy. They’ll accuse you of being “shallow” and “emotionally immature.”

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10 (As if your “soulmate” needs to be some bitter divorcee who’s been hardened by years of being in the wrong relationships. Is that really something you need to have in common with a woman?) Their hostility and resentment comes from a place of fear. If every man over the age of 40 had the confidence and ability to date women who were ten of fifteen years younger, how many of these guys do you think would marry 40-yearolds? My guess would be, not many. The “mature” single women would be forced to seek solace in reruns of Sex & The City and one-night stands at the bars. But in our society, most older men will limit their dating options to women their own age, because they’re stuck in one of two mental ruts: #1. They worry that it would be socially inappropriate for them to date a younger woman. People might stare and gossip! His friends, who are with women their own age, would make jokes—and their girlfriends and wives would look at him with derision. (In reality, the only stares and snide comments you’ll receive will be from jealous men, and older women who feel threatened. Just watch them grab their man’s arm when they catch him checking out the sexy young babe on your arm…) #2. The guy feels too old, out of step, of a different generation. Sure, he’d love to be banging the babe with the perky breasts and the thong peeking out from the back of her jeans…but how do you talk to a girl like that? How do you approach her without seeming like someone’s creepy uncle? Both us these attitudes are limiting beliefs that are easily overcome, and in this book I’m going to explain exactly how to conquer them and be a MAN (not a boy!) that younger women will not just want to talk to—they’ll be attracted to you in a powerful, authentic way. I’m going to speak very directly and honestly in this book—“political correctness” be damned—and the first lesson I want you to absorb is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to date and have sex with younger women (as long as they’re of legal age, of course—gotta say once more for the record!).

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11 When it comes to dating younger women, there is a double standard in our society: if you’re a man who is famous and/or powerful, it’s completely acceptable for you to be with women who are much younger. It’s actually expected—not to the extent that it was centuries ago, when rulers maintained harems of nubile, fertile young women to carry on their genetic legacy—but you’ll rarely see today’s business moguls and celebrities marrying and having children with women their own age. Among today’s stars of movies, television, and music, it’s common for them to have a “starter wife” their own age that they marry before their rise to the top—but once the bucks are rolling in, and they have options, wife #1 gets jettisoned in favor of a younger, hotter version. I’m not saying this is the “right” thing to do, but I can certainly understand their motives. (As the comedian Chris Rock said, “a man is only as faithful as his options.”) I’ll assume that you’re not touring in a famous rock band, or have a starring role in the next summer blockbuster. You’re a regular guy in most respects, but you have special goals in your dating/sex life—you want to date younger women. The Hollywood celebrities who marry younger babes are no different than you, fundamentally. We’re all men. We’re wired the same way. We desire these younger women for common, fundamental reasons, which I’ll explain in a moment. I just want to stress that there is absolutely no shame in desiring to date younger women—whether your goal is to enjoy a fast-lane bachelor lifestyle (my personal preference), or to find a partner to settle down with. The goal of this book is to assist you in this quest, without ever resorting to being a “sugar daddy.” That’s the term used to describe older men who rent the companionship of younger women by subsidizing their high-maintenance lifestyles. Notice I used the word “rent” rather than “buy,” because these relationships never last. It’s true that money can’t buy you love. It can pay for a lot of great sex, but in the long-term, is it ever genuine love? If you’re a “sugar Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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12 daddy,” the answer is no. I hate to tell you rich guys, but your hot young chick is probably laughing all the way to the bank—and likely screwing guys her own age, while you’re out working to keep her in the lifestyle she’s become accustomed to. So would this imply that when a guy like Donald Trump marries a woman who is decades younger, the relationship can’t possibly be “real?” No. The relationships between older men and younger woman can absolutely be real, and the bond can actually be more powerful than the one that exists between two people of the same age. The difference between Trump (to use one example), and your typical “sugar daddy,” is that Trump is an Alpha Male, driven to survive and thrive. Alphas are able to engender extremely deep feelings of sexual attraction in women. It doesn’t matter if the guy is 60 years old, or 25: if he exhibits Alpha Male qualities, women will be drawn into his orbit like moths to a flame. He can even be an arrogant jerk; it doesn’t matter. That is the man she wants to protect her and bear children with. (I’m going to explain in this book how to integrate these Alpha Male characteristics into your own “game” with women.) In my other books, which include the sensational best-seller Women Persuasion Secrets, a recurring theme is how human nature and biology dictate our preferences—how we’re hardwired to behave in certain ways, and why women are hardwired to respond favorably to men who exhibit certain behaviors. When it comes to the older man/younger woman dating dynamic, there are very powerful motivating factors behind older men seeking out younger mates for sex and relationships, and there are equally compelling reasons why younger women go for these men. Now here’s another fact that is going to blow the mind of feminists, who foam at the mouth when I tell them I’m not interested in any woman past the age of 30. It’s also why you should never buy into the politically correct assumption that you’re a “dirty old man” for desiring the hotties in their 20s. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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13 Let me talk to you for a moment about the greatest motivator of them all to date younger women, and it cuts to the core of your very existence and survival... Dating younger women will enable to you live, and stay healthy, longer. According to a study conducted by Shripad Tuljapurkar and Cedric Puleston of Stanford University, when men mate with women who are eight or more years younger, it increases the life span of both sexes over time. In scientific terms, once people can no longer reproduce, they cease to have a biological purpose. We’re put on this planet to procreate. Men are born to spread their seed; women are born to be inseminated and bear children. (That may sound a little crude, but it’s the truth.) The "wall of death" age for women—as evolutionary theorists so cheerfully call it—is about 50, when menopause sets in. Men, however, can reproduce into their late 70s, so long as they have good genes, and good equipment. (If not, a little friend called “Viagra” can assist in the process.) When an older man mates with a young woman, he is essentially postponing death. He continues to have a purpose on this planet. And his longlife genes—which he obviously possesses, if he’s still having sex at this age—get passed on to his kids. "Men who have children at a late age help to make natural selection work to protect human survival, because they are passing on more genes. It's just the way we've evolved as humans," Puleston says. Here’s another compelling reason to date younger women. According to Dr. Mark Liponis, author of "UltraLongevity: The Seven-Step Program for a Younger, Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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14 Healthier You," young women can give a tremendous boost to their older partners' immune systems. "Being close to someone makes your immune systems very alike," the doctor said. "And an older man's worn-down, tired immune system will improve simply by being in contact with a younger person who is more energetic and healthier." These days, more divorced men are choosing to re-marry with women who are 10 or 20 years younger. This is not just beneficial to the man; women can also gain enormous benefits by marrying older men. Women are biologically programmed the same way they were 10,000 years ago, and what they desire most is security and protection. Who can offer a woman a greater sense of security: the 25-year-old slacker who’s still trying to figure out his purpose? Or the sophisticated, experienced 45year-old gentleman who is secure in who he is, and his position in life? (I’m not just referring to financial security; older men are more emotionally secure and stable, which is more important to women than money.) A great example of a successful older man/younger woman relationship is Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who married in 2000. There is a twenty-five year age difference between the two Hollywood stars. At the time of their marriage, he was 56; she was 31. Douglas says that when they first met, he told her point-blank, “I’d like to father your children.” He’s given her two so far. (I would not recommend using this line on women, but hey, it worked for him.) Zeta-Jones once said, "I do think I'm lucky I met Michael. Not just Michael Douglas the actor and producer with two Oscars on the shelf, but Michael Douglas the love of my life. I really do think it was meant to happen."

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15 In another interview, Zeta-Jones explained: "Older men come on to me all the time, and I'm really happy about that. I really like them. Older men know more about life and what's going on. I'm probably the only person on the beach who sees a hard-bodied guy and goes, 'Oh, put it away, will you?' Beautiful boys are far too interested in making themselves look beautiful. They don't want any competition. At the beach, I'm more likely to be attracted to a guy no one else notices, sitting far off, under an umbrella reading a book." When asked what impresses her in a man, the Welsh beauty replied, "Words impress me. If a man can speak eloquently and beautifully to me, I just melt on the floor."

REMEMBER: When your goal is to meet younger women, don’t worry about competing with younger guys on their playing field. Any student of military history knows that even the greatest leaders and generals have suffered humiliating defeats when they attempt to engage the enemy on their terrain.

In the dating world, the equivalent would be the 50-year-old guy who tries to dress too “young” and “trendy,” and hangs out in crowded bars with much younger people in an attempt to show women that he’s “still got it.” You’re going to learn how to use your age, maturity and life experiences as attractive assets. They will be your lasting keys to victory.

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Chapter 1: My Experiences With Younger Women By Ron Louis Author of the best-seller “How To Succeed With Women” www.howtosucceedwithwomen.com Rather than brag about my "rock star" lifestyle (which I don't actually live), or offering tons of "how-to" advice on meeting younger women, I want to take a different perspective and share my life with you. I'm not one of those dating gurus who acts like I’m the best seducer in the world, or perfect with women. I'm not. I'm not one to brag about my conquests or try to get you to believe that when I enter a bar, swarms of young women get on their knees and beg to blow me. What I can share with you is how I have been able to transform myself into a guy who regularly dates and sleeps with younger women. If you are familiar with my book How to Succeed with Women, you already know a few things about me. I'm Jewish. I'm chubby, and I live in Wisconsin. I'm not a pretty boy, nor am I an amazing dresser. I'm pretty average looking, and have no intention of lying or manipulating women into bed. That goes against my personal code of ethics. I just turned 40, and I was a bit nervous and bummed out when that day came. It was the end of my 30s—and I was honestly a bit freaked out and worried that my skills with women might somehow decline, or my confidence would be destroyed. I'm starting to see some grey hairs, and experiences such as my mother dying a few years ago—and a few friends of mine passing away from heart Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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17 attacks—have made me contemplate the impermanence of life. And it definitely has me realizing that I am no longer 22 and invincible. But let me back up for a second. I've had really good success with women for the past 12 years. I actually remember the day I was with David Copeland (my friend who I wrote How to Succeed with Women with), and we were both pissed off and frustrated that we had no game at all with women. We sucked, frankly, and so we set out to try to figure this stuff out. We did, to a certain extent, and we related our findings in How to Succeed with Women. I began with absolutely no success, and slowly had more and more success. And as I developed more confidence, I slowly began to date hotter and hotter women. And this made me a happier guy all around. I’ve also found that over the past three years, as I have felt more secure in my life—in my job, my house, my spirituality, and in my life in general—I have ceased to worry about my success with women, or be concerned with women at all. Now, they seem to just "show up" in my life without a lot of effort on my part. I say that not to brag, but because I think that it’s more a reflection of the work I’ve done on myself. That sounds new-agey and all, but it's true. And it makes sense. The less focused on women you become, the less you feel lonely, needy, and desperate you are. This is when you become open and relaxed. Women feel that vibe, and want to be around that sort of energy. I met my current girlfriend, who is 26, at a coffee shop. She was working on her laptop and I asked her what she was writing. Not a mind-blowing or complicated approach at all, I know. But it was a genuine question that I asked, mainly because she looked cute and interesting.

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18 As it turned out, she was a writer for a newspaper. I obviously write, too, and we hit it off. I told her about the books I’d written on dating, and we spoke extensively about How to Succeed with Women. I didn't try to hide it or deny that part of my life. At first she thought I was lying, until I showed her my website. She thought it was amusing, but interesting. I got her phone number, and we texted each other for a while before meeting again. My approach with her was to be as real as possible. Not to show off, brag, act overly cocky and funny, overly cute, or overly sexual, but to simply be authentic. I talked with her about a huge variety of topics: music, art, gossip about celebrities, her job, and eventually sex and kink. The underlying thing I noticed in our interactions was that we were both genuinely interested in the other person. How did I turn this sexy 26 year old into a lover? Our first "date" was drinks at a bar, and just hanging out, talking. The conversation at the bar went well, but nothing physical happened until date #2. On that date, we went to a few bars in one part of town and I walked her home. We made out on her steps for a long time and I went home. On the third date we had sex. A funny detail to the sex was that while we were getting it on, a living room full of 23 year olds were playing videos games on a huge TV in the other room. I could hear the sound of the video game in the background as we had sex. Before her, I dated a 27-year-old chick who was an engineer. She was at a bar, and I asked her about a piece of jewelry she was wearing that looked really cool. Again, not a complicated or cunning approach. We talked about cool places to travel around the world. We ended up talking about Europe and Asia for at least a half hour. She been in Germany recently, and I had been in Europe leading dating workshops a few months before.

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19 I got her number and we ended up emailing for a while before meeting again. She was really into hiking, and our first bunch of dates involved walking in nature with her dog—and we would make out in the woods. Here’s another example of meeting another woman in her 20s. I travel frequently due to my work. Not only do I run dating-related courses and take guys out to bars for “field workshops,” etc., but I also do private coaching and help people publish their books. Last winter I was flying from Chicago to Los Angeles, and luckily I was seated next to a very cool woman in her 20s who was some sort of business consultant. As it turned out, she’s also constantly on the road. I spotted her when I was in the terminal waiting to board, and I hoped she was going to sit near me so I could talk to her. As fate would have it, she ended up sitting right next to me. She turned out to be super hot, and really smart. We began talking about normal bullshit—our jobs, our passions, “travel experiences from hell” stories, and then dating. I asked her to recommend some cool places to check out while I was in Los Angeles. Towards the end of the flight, I suggested that we exchange numbers. While I was in LA, we texted a few times, and finally went out for drinks. I have many stories of meeting younger women in a variety of places—in clothing stores, coffee shops, and lounges. While traveling and running seminars, on airplanes, on the Internet, on the street in Florida, at personal growth seminars, at parties…lots of places. I think where you meet women is not that important. Given that younger women are everywhere, it is more about believing you can meet them, and having the balls to approach them.

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20 I'm not super attractive, nor am I particularly “cool.” I honestly don't think I have extraordinary gifts with women, or innate skills. I believe what helps me out is that I don't worry about women, nor do I feel fear around them. When I see a woman who looks interesting to me, I’ve conditioned myself to just talk to her, and find out if she is cool or not. I do have strong conversational skills. I read a lot and know about a wide variety of topics, and truly enjoy getting to know women and learning what they’re all about. And I'm very open about who I am. I don't hide parts of my personality, my past, or my desires. I'm not a boring and predictable guy. I've been working as a dating coach for over a decade (shit, that makes me feel old!), and most of my clients have been 35+. Lots more have been in the 4555 age range. What I see them doing often is coming across as what I call a BNB (a Boring Nervous Bonehead). They talk about boring shit, they dress boring, they act in predictable ways…and due to anxiety, they come across more creepy than friendly. In my experience, being boring is the number one thing older guys do to kill their chances of ever dating a younger woman. Want To Be Boring? Here’s How… Contained in this book is all the information you’re ever going to need to have massive success with younger women. The opposite of a boring guy is someone who projects energy, self confidence, enthusiasm, and joy. He conveys optimism. He’s approachable, takes risks, is exciting, and is far from boring. But we all can fall into the traps of being a boring man. None of us are perfect—and a lifetime of being a BNB cannot be cured over night. It takes time. It requires consistently taking risks, checking out new places to meet women, learning about new conversational topics, and basically shaking things up a bit. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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If your strategy to get a woman in bed is to bore her into horniness, you may be worse off than we thought. Boredom is the opposite of turned on, and this type of personality will definitely not get you an invite to the next cool party in your town—the one where the available younger women are to be found. Read the list below to get a sense of some of the ways you might be coming across as boring to the younger women you approach, and with the women you already know… •

You watch a lot of TV, and talk about TV shows incessantly.

•

You constantly talk about only one subject (sports, sex, movies, gossip, etc.). It's fine to be into one or two topics, but women will start to tune out if that's all you talk about.

•

You tell people how tired you are, and that you don't feel well.

•

You talk too much. People who talk too much get boring after a while.

•

You’re overly dependent on what others think of you and what you are saying. People who require validation become super predictable and boring.

•

You never crack a joke, a smile, or joke around. Serious people are seen as stiff and unpleasant to be around.

•

You tell everyone about your bad points and flaws, as if that’s a way to bond. (It's one thing to own up to a few character flaws or playfully talk about a vulnerability of yours, such as the fact that you’re hopeless in the

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22 kitchen and so you have every take-out menu in town; it’s another thing to dwell on your weaknesses to try to get sympathy.) •

You constantly tell women that you're horny. Hey, we all get horny, but no one cares or wants to hear it. Guys who talk about being horny are usually not the ones getting laid.

•

You always insist on being the center of attention. People who do this come across as insecure and needy.

•

You always wait to be asked, and rarely do the asking.

•

You announce to your friends how self-sacrificing you are, and how people in your life are ungrateful and should appreciate you more. No one wants to hang out with a martyr.

•

You interrupt and spoil other people's stories because you've heard, thought, or said them before.

•

You are paranoid and suspicious of everyone's motives. Now, here’s how to STOP being boring… It takes effort to shake things up, get off your couch, and try new things.

But you’ve got to make a habit of breaking out of the routines that have been sabotaging your success with women. This will make you a more dynamic and attractive person. Otherwise, boredom becomes a vicious cycle: you feel bored, but you continue along in your same boring routine, and you wind up projecting a boring personality to women. Step One is to take action immediately, and start taking risks. People who avoid risk at all costs are uninteresting and uninspiring. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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23

So try some new things. Shake up your routine. Open yourself up to new experiences, and to meeting new people. When you do this, you never know what will happen. When you try new things, be it a new bar, a trip to someplace unusual, taking a class on a topic that you know nothing about, or even just going into a bookstore and checking out a topic you don't know squat about, you open yourself up to learning something new. You increase the number of topics you can converse with women about, and the possibility of meeting a completely new type of woman whom you've never interacted with before. In the process, you’ll break the pattern of being a BNB. Other ways to take risks: Talking about unpredictable things, sharing a risky story about your life (such a time you were arrested, or nearly arrested—as long as wasn’t for something too serious!), an embarrassing experience, or a freaky dream you had, are all examples of unpredictability in a conversation. Asking probing questions is another way to shake things up. Passive and wimpy guys never ask any pointed questions to those around them. They passively go through conversations as the "yes" man. Women hate that. Remember, the jump between conflict and sex is much closer than the jump from boredom to sex! Risking conflict is one of the keys to avoiding the “boring” trap. In your experience, do people respect those who are strong enough to take strong positions? Do women want to sleep with passive guys who have no opinions at all, and are just wimped out suck-ups? Or do they want the powerful, charismatic

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24 guys who present a strong face and come across as comfortable with themselves and their opinions? Women want the strong, decisive man—not the boring, complaining baby. Start taking actions today to shift your attitude and personality in the right direction.

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25

Chapter 2 Nick Savoy & Sheriff of Love Systems www.LoveSystems.com Love Systems (formerly the Mystery Method Corp.) is a proven system to “get the girl.” The company is led by dating guru Nick Savoy, who was featured in the best-selling book The Game and has been a featured guest of Dr. Phil and Tyra Banks. Love Systems is based on social dynamics and female psychology, not looks or money. The company hosts the annual Super Conference, which is the biggest dating event in the industry, while its seminars (“bootcamps”) have taken place in more than 30 cities and 15 countries, spanning 4 continents. ***** If you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or even beyond, and you want to be with hot younger women, this is for you... (By this way, this is also for you if you ever date women who are “different” from you...we’re focused on age differences here, but many of these techniques can be translated for dating across cultures, borders, language, and so on.) Far too many men think that you have to be rich, famous, or have the moves of a professionally-trained Love Systems lead instructor to date young, beautiful women. This is a MYTH. It comes from older women (or younger men) who don’t want the competition. And it comes from some older guys themselves. Sometimes it’s just easier to give up on your goals because they are “impossible” than it is to pursue them. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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26 In other words, it can be tough knowing that there are guys who are no better than you having the time of their lives and dating young, beautiful women... ... and not just for looks, either. It’s not politically correct to say this, but as someone who prefers to date younger women myself, I prefer to date women who have less baggage, less cynicism, and more love of life and adventure. Some single older women can come off jaded... So, I’m going to share some powerful techniques – right here. LOVE SYSTEMS TIP #1: Don’t force yourself into her world About a year ago, I was leading a Love Systems bootcamp in New York. Bootcamps usually have 8-10 guys (and 3-5 instructors), and one of the students was a recently divorced man in his late 40s I’ll call “Brian.” Brian didn’t want to settle for the divorcee circuit, full of endless dinner dates with women his age complaining about their ex-husbands. He even told me about one date when the woman told him it annoyed her when her ex-husband wanted sex because “sex is for teenagers.” Brian wanted to date young, beautiful, fun women, but had mostly given up. He told me his Love Systems bootcamp was his “last chance.” Talk about pressure! Anyway, we weren’t going to let him settle. And some of his problems were obvious. He was going to the 20-something clubs, wearing 20-something clothes, talking in slightly out-of-date TV slang. Women avoided him. Brian was making the classic mistake that generals and leaders have made throughout history – he was fighting on the enemy’s turf.

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27 Brian’s competition is mostly the young, trendy guys women will see in class or in entry-level jobs every day. And Brian was assuming that he had to beat them at their game – be just as young, energetic, cool, and trendy as them. Wrong. Look at it this way. If Bill Gates and I wanted the same woman, I’d ask him to pay me off you can be damn sure that I’d change the subject every time “computers” or “having trillions of dollars lying around” came up. I’m not going to fight him on his turf. The same thing goes for Brian. The women he likes are around young, trendy guys all the time. The road Brian was on, he would at best become a competent imitator, but always inferior to the real thing. So, we flipped the script. LOVE SYSTEMS TIP #2: Flip the script We changed Brian’s basic strategy. Instead of talking about MySpace and Tila Tequila (or whatever the trend of the moment is), Brian talked about travel, art, and adventure. Instead of letting him wear clothes too young for him, we put him in a suit. He radiated power and confidence. These are powerful aphrodisiacs, especially in older men. And instead of trying to order Jaeger shots over blaring music, we took him to lounges and wine bars where his class and sophistication could show through. (And where, if anything, the quality of younger women was even higher...) Now we’re fighting on HIS turf. He’s competing based on sophistication, class, power and status. In other words, his strengths.

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28 It doesn’t guarantee success, of course. There’s no point competing on a strength that women don’t care about. And some women ONLY want a guy who fits in at raves and keg parties. Dismiss those. Most women want a combination of things. So, pick a couple of your strengths and go with those. This is all part of building an identity. (Our book Magic Bullets reveals the secret eight things that beautiful women the world over want in a man, and how to convey these to her right away. If you don’t have Magic Bullets yet, click here and I promise you’ll be blown away). Back to Brian. We go out two nights (and have three days of seminar instruction and exercises) as part of our comprehensive bootcamp every weekend. On the second night, Brian got three phone numbers, one makeout, and had a smile on his face bigger than any he’d ever had since he was as old as the women he was now confidently approaching. Here’s part of an email he sent me after the bootcamp: Savoy, I wanted to thank you guys again for all you did for me last weekend. I truly feel like a changed man. Jessica (the brunette from Saturday) just spent the night, and even though I have nothing planned this weekend, I’m looking forward to the possibilities more than I’ve looked forward to a weekend since high school. I wish I’d known about Love Systems ten years ago... - “Brian” [not his real name] Of course, flipping the script is easier said than done. That’s why this past April’s volume of the interview series is on Dating Younger Women. It starts off with me and Kisser breaking down the SPECIFIC, actual things you have to do to “flip the script” successfully.

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29 (Subscribers to our interview series have already been doing this. Every month, for just $24.99, they get sent priority copies of over an hour of the newest breakthroughs that Love Systems has to offer – treated in the kind of depth that you can only do with over an hour of audio, boiled down to its best points from hours of recording.) Like we say on the interview, flipping the script doesn’t mean that you should deliberately go out of your way not to have insight into her world. Don’t be a “tired old man” whose interests don’t extend beyond sports, the music you listened to as a kid, and your job. LOVE SYSTEMS TIP #3: Flip the script, again Once you’ve flipped the script once, flip it again. Instead of being the older guy chasing younger women, have THEM chase YOU. This is something all guys should be able to do since it’s such a great technique. It’s especially important for dating younger women. You’re definitely not going to be the kind of older man whom younger women go nuts for by being “nice” and “sweet” – at least at first. Instead, be the man who has lots of options and who is currently single by CHOICE (but she might “tame” you – a familiar feeling for many women). In other words, make HER show that you that she’s classy and sophisticated enough to roll with you. That she can come UP to your level, not that you can go DOWN to hers. It’s all part of an integrated system – your personal game plan to being irresistible to the type of women you want.

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30 2. Now let’s hear from the Sheriff... Funny enough, the Love Systems instructor who goes by the name of Sheriff had recently posted some of his thoughts about older men and younger women in the Love Systems lounge. (The Lounge is a free private online community of former bootcamp clients and Love Systems instructors. We provide lifetime post-bootcamp support, and it’s also the place where our newest breakthroughs – like Inner Game, Social Circle Mastery, and even Relationship Management were first developed.) Here’s Sheriff had to say recently: I've been talking to a lot of younger girls (18-19) at the moment, and actually making a real effort to hang out with people younger than me - most of my good friends are typically a bit older than I am. I was having a bunch of issues connecting with younger girls, but being the instructor-par-excellence I am, I decided to become an expert on this. ;-) Here's what I've learned since I decided to handle this a couple of months ago (but bear in mind that of the pool of perhaps 12 girls I've cultivated here who are between 18 and 19, all are RICH and used to living a life of luxury where maids, drivers, and beach houses are par for the course). The first thing I've noticed: you need to ground your interest ASAP. Younger girls lack much of the social intuition older girls have. They're often socially slightly scared of older guys and girls - they're only recently out of high school where relative age is a BIG DEAL - where dating a guy a few years older than you carries a status that in the real world is totally missing. Get onto normal conversation and commonalities QUICKLY, and qualify a nonsexual interest in that, even if it's something dumb like where she’s from, OR she'll be confused by (and creeped out by) your interest.

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31 The second thing I've noticed: younger girls are crap at picking up IOIs (Indicators Of Interest), and often fail to see when you're into them unless you make it pretty obvious. So, be explicit with your IOIs and “Why I Like You”s. I was assuming that girls weren't in to me (doh) and not escalating properly in my social circle... but hadn't realized that in a number of cases, the girls seriously thought I was out of their league. While I'll tease younger girls, I'll also now make a big effort to be NICE to them - no hard-core qualification. Many of them don't yet have the cynical edge of older girls, and if you're used to building attraction through effortlessly pushing aside shit-tests, you're going to be in trouble if there are none forth-coming. ;-) The third thing I've noticed: high quality younger girls tend to be heavily idealistic, even if those views seem naive to you. If a young, rich girl tells you how she's thinking of going to live in an artist's commune, rather than cracking up uncontrollably, reward her for that. If she tells you how she thinks it's stupid, but still thinks she might be a famous actress one day despite no acting experience to date, don't laugh in her face, and don't give her shit for it. Qualify and encourage these. You might be surprised by how much of your qualification work you're doing just by being an older, successful guy who's actually taking her seriously. The fourth thing I've noticed: younger (and older) girls respond well to agespecific qualification. Favorable comparison to the other end of the age bracket is effective and consistent. Younger girls will always hear about how I enjoy hanging out with younger girls, because they're less cynical, more willing to express themselves and live in the moment, and because they're more idealistic and not embittered. Obviously, older women will hear about how much I like women with more life experience, etc. ;-) The fifth thing I've noticed has to do with DHVs. (Demonstrations Of Higher Value--this bit of “pickup terminology” means you say certain things to imply that you are a man of value and status. Not bragging, but making

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32 subtle comments to pique their interest.) I’ve found that DHVs work differently on different age groups. Older girls get the spiel (carefully done, of course) about how incredibly hooked up I am, and how successful I am in my various careers, and how mature I am. ;-) This was falling flat with younger girls. So, I tried switching to talking about how FUN a lot of the stuff going on was, and switched to physical and state-based attraction.

BONUS SECTION: CAJUN FROM LOVE SYSTEMS ON “INNER GAME” Cajun, Love Systems lead instructor extraordinaire, rose in just over a year from bootcamp student to Love Systems instructor. At about 5’5, he is shorter than most of his students, most of the women he dates, and most of the competition whenever he goes out—but he blows them away because he understands and can teach dating science better than almost anyone else. Of course, he is best known as the winner of Keys to the VIP, a pickup competition show. Producers and judges pit men against each other in bars full of beautiful women with specific challenges to find out who is better. Despite the judges picking on Cajun for his lack of height or model-type looks, he blew away the competition and had the most beautiful women all over him – all on national TV. Now we’ll turn the flow over to Cajun to learn about the kind of inner game that gives him the confidence to go onto a show like Keys to the VIP and win. Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in dating science. It’s a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and it’s a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetime’s worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection. Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level; that is, I can’t convince you how to think or look at life

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33 differently. Only you can do that. However, I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences. To me, inner game problems boil down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. I’m going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article you’ll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues.

Experience: When people ask me how I developed the kind of “rock solid confidence” that allowed me to put myself out there on national TV, I always answer the same way: “Practice.” When you think about what confidence actually is, you realize that it’s simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with. It’s only when we’re thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women, simply because they don’t talk to women! It’s a negative feedback loop that’s perpetuated by a fear of “what might go wrong.” This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better! Think about it this way. When you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down? Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having. Even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well, this is the same thing. I remember before I took my bootcamp (taught by Tenmagnet), I wasn’t any good at meeting women. I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The bootcamp put me on the right path, and I had the model of how things were supposed to go (and had seen instructors doing it properly – up close), but I still wouldn’t have made the most of things if I hadn’t gotten used to Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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34 rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isn’t easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it. Don’t get mad at her or yourself, don’t go home, just accept that it’s a completely normal and necessary part of the learning process. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.

Mindset: Most of us grew up in a society that implied a dual-concentric model of reality. That is, the outer circle being reality, or the world around us, and the inner circle being our consciousness. We experience the outer circle, reality, through our inner circle, our consciousness. This is how we believed reality worked, that our consciousness was independent of it... but recently this all changed. We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle, and that our consciousness is the outer circle. That is, reality exists inside our mind, and we create our own reality with our thoughts (or beliefs, if you’d rather). What does this mean? As far as any of us know, there may only be one reality: your own. Who is to say that I'm not a figment of your imagination, your reality, writing out this entire article to send a message to you, from your subconscious mind. It's possible. The truth is, whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game, and it’s a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Don't be one of them. I recently received an email from a student of mine asking about the power of beliefs, and how they work. I replied with the following:

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35 “Think of it this way: what if, let's say, 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. The AI is so smart you can’t tell it’s not a real person. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. Now, you get to play this game, but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play. He says this:” "This software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. So, if you want to be, let’s say, a rich Casanova in the game, then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova, and you will become one. The trick is you have to actually believe it, and then the program takes care of the rest. In fact you can have, and be, anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these ‘beliefs.’ Think of it as your "console hack." “I'm sure you saw this coming, but this ‘game’ already exists and it's called reality. You become who you believe you are.” Sound a little like the Matrix? Well, that’s okay. Like I said, I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective, and this is simply how I believe reality works. I’ll end this article with something that I’ve never written about before: I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women. I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home. It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I’ve learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say? “The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is... to remember that you already are.” - Cajun

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36

Chapter 3: The Myth of the “Mid-Life Crisis” Hey, it’s Dean again. I’d like to share with you a comment that was posted on the Mack Tactics blog (it’s jam-packed with dating advice, click here to see it). It came from a guy who had an interesting question about this topic. My reply includes some revealing information about the whole idea of the “mid-life crisis,” which in my opinion, is fiction as far as men are concerned. (With women, however, the notion of the “biological clock” is absolutely real.) ***** Dean, I recently turned 40. This birthday hit me harder than I thought it would. I’ve been reflecting on my life, and I decided to “turn back the clock” and start acting and feeling younger. (Most of my married buddies act like they’re 40 going on 65!) I went to the salon and had the gray colored out of my hair, I bought a new wardrobe of cool clothes, and I’ve been going to the gym and getting in shape. I see this as self-improvement, but my wife says I’m going through a “midlife crisis.” She’s even suspicious that I might be cheating on her. (I’m not.) I’ve been with her for 12 years and we’ve got two kids together. I still love her, but to be honest, there’s a part of me that does want to be back out there on the scene, flirting with women and dating. Maybe I just want to prove to myself that I’ve “still got it.” Is this just a natural phase that guys my age go through, and grow out of? Ray, New York

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37

***** I recently read an interesting book called “Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters.” It was written by two evolutionary psychologists. This brand of psychology believes that people are basically an animal species, and that today we’re still driven by the same animal needs that motivated us 10,000 years ago. As men, our most powerful impulse is the need to find the right mate (or mates) and produce healthy offspring, in order to ensure our genetic legacy. Women, meanwhile, are searching for a man with the right qualities to make them feel secure, and to have children with. A woman might date around or get married in the meantime, but if her husband doesn’t have Alpha Male traits, it won’t be long before she starts checking out other options. Simply put, a non-Alpha is never going to completely fulfill her core needs. He could be the nicest, sweetest guy in the world. He can give her everything she wants. But if he’s not supplying what she needs—qualities such as emotional strength, and the ability to make decisions and lead—he’s either going to lose her, or they’re going to wind up stuck in a hostile, unhappy relationship. Throughout history, the great conquerors, politicians and moguls have usually been driven by the desire to become more sexually attractive to women, which therefore gives them more reproductive options. (Do you actually think most politicians choose that career out of a sincere desire to better the world…or do you think, perhaps, they’re motivated by more primal hungers?) Men of high status are much more likely to attain “high reproductive success” than men of lowly status. Moulay Ismail the Bloodthirsty, the last Sharifian emperor of Morocco, left more offspring—1,042—than anyone else on Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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38 record. A more recent example we all know is Bill Clinton, the most powerful man in the world during his tenure as president, who risked everything for a fling with a 24-year-old intern. People said Clinton was crazy to do so, but from an evolutionary perspective, what he did was perfectly logical. Asking why a powerful man would cheat on his wife is like asking why a rich man would spend money. They do it because they can. I don’t condone cheating, and I’m not excusing it, but I understand why it happens. And we’ve all heard about guys going through the dreaded “midlife crisis.” Usually this involves a guy who hits a certain age, and suddenly feels the urge to look and act more youthful. (The cliché is the balding middle-aged guy who goes out and splurges on a new sports car.) Evolutionary psychologists believe the “midlife crisis” is real, but it happens for reasons you wouldn’t expect. It’s not because the man has reached middle age; it’s because his wife has. The “crisis” is triggered because his wife is about to enter (or has entered) menopause, meaning she can no longer reproduce. She has hit the “wall of death.” This makes the man feel a subconscious need to attract younger women, in order to have a way to continue producing offspring. On a conscious level, the middle-aged guy might not have any interest in having more kids. But on a deeper, primal level, he is being driven to pursue this. He’s not thinking to himself, “My wife is getting too old to bear children, so I’d better go out there and find a fertile young babe.” But his subconscious mind is telling him to do so.

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39 Here’s the other interesting thing. According to this theory, a 50-year-old guy married to a 25-year-old woman is not going to experience a midlife crisis. But a 25-year-old guy, married to a 50-year-old woman, will! So, the crisis really doesn’t have anything with the man reaching a certain age. It’s all about the age of his partner. Some other interesting points that are raised by the evolutionary psychologists who wrote, “Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters”: Why do many men consider the “perfect hottie” to be a young woman with long blond hair, large breasts and a slim waist? (And why do so many women color their hair, diet and exercise, and undergo cosmetic surgery to achieve this look?) The authors say it has nothing to do with the famous sex symbols who have embodied this look over the years. There is a much deeper evolutionary logic. Long before the creation of television and the movies, in 15th century Italy, women were dying their hair blond. A recent study conducted in Iran, where access to Western media is limited, showed that women in that country are more concerned with their body image, and have a stronger desire to lose weight, than women in America. In other words, it’s impossible to blame the media and celebrities like Marilyn Monroe, Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, etc. for the fact that blond, slim and busty is generally considered to be the “ultimate” form of beauty. This has been the most widely admired “look” for centuries, because men are biologically compelled to want to mate with these women.

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40 But why, exactly? First, men prefer younger women because they tend to be healthier and more fertile. Thousands of years ago, nobody maintained birth records or carried ID; in order to know someone’s age, their appearance was all you had to go on. Hair is one obvious indicator of age. Healthy young women have lustrous, shiny hair; sickly people do not. A woman with long hair has obviously been healthy for a number of years (long enough for her hair to grow to that length). Likewise, breasts—especially large ones—are going to sag with age. If a woman’s breasts are large and firm, that’s another clear indicator that she’s still young and healthy. Just by looking at her, a man in ancient times could evaluate her age, health status, and reproductive value. Men also have a preference for women with a low waist-to-hip ratio, because this also indicates that they are healthy and fertile. They’re better able to conceive children because this body type means they have high amounts of the necessary reproductive hormones. Studies have shown that women with large breasts and small waists have the highest levels of estradiol and progesterone, hormones that are necessary to reproduce. This is why subconsciously; most men are drawn towards women with this “look.” They’re not attracted to young, slim, busty blonds because these women resembles the famous beauties they see on television and in magazines; the reason that we’re attracted to these women, and why women with this look are able to become famous in the first place, lies in our genetic programming and our primal desires. Furthermore, blond hair tends to change with age, unlike other hair colors. Young girls with light blond hair usually evolve into women with brown hair, which eventually turns gray.

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41 Interestingly, blond hair first evolved in northern Europe and Scandinavia. Evolutionary psychologists believe that this was an evolutionary response to the heavy clothing that women wore in those times, to conceal their bodies; regardless of how they covered up, blond hair was a giveaway that they were young and had reproductive value. Nowadays, of course, there are various ways for women to alter their looks to fit this model: facelifts, liposuction, breast augmentation, hair coloring, etc. The funny thing is that men fall for it—or at least, our subconscious minds do. You can look at a 40-year-old woman and know she’s had a tit job, various other cosmetic surgeries, and colors her hair (Pamela Anderson comes to mind), but because she’s still got the qualities that imply reproductive value, our “primitive brains” desire her. Centuries ago, plastic surgery didn’t exist—but today, we’re still sizing up women using the same visual cues that our ancestors used, when they were hunting for women to mate with. Fashions change. Music changes. The world moves forward. But our internal hard-wiring will always remain—and this not only means that we’re programmed to want younger women, it also means they desire us.

If you want to test out the complete Women Persuasion program, we can offer this special discount to you as a purchaser of “Secrets Of Dating Younger Women.” Click here to claim your bonus products and try out the system, risk-free for 60 Days.

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42

Chapter 4: A Conversation With Zan Perrion www.zanperrion.com Zan Perrion is an internationally acclaimed writer and professional speaker with a wonderful ability to inform and inspire audiences toward excellence in all aspects of life. Over the years, his name has become synonymous with a more natural and enlightened form of interaction between men and women... the ars amorata, or “the art of love.” Zan's early writings and concepts have heavily influenced today's international "seduction community." Frequently featured as a guest and presenter in many parts of the world, he has never varied from his concept of a more "natural" approach to women, dating, and life. Zan's seminars and events sell out immediately and have garnered impressive reviews in every city they have been held, including Montreal, Toronto, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York, London, Panama, Tokyo, and Cape Town. Author Neil Strauss devoted an entire chapter to him in his New York Times bestseller The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, calling Zan "...the undisputed heavyweight of the genre... in four years, he never once asked for advice, he only gave it." David DeAngelo (of Double Your Dating) has called Zan "an example of a true natural". Mystery (of VH1's The Pickup Artist) has proclaimed, "I want to be like Zan!" Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Seattle's Komo TV has called him "The World's Greatest Seducer". And in 2007, Zan played himself in the movie Let the Game Begin, starring Adam Rodriguez (of CSI: Miami), Thomas Ian Nicholas, Stephen Baldwin, Michael Madsen, and Lochlyn Munro. Zan has also been a guest on many radio and television programs, has been featured in numerous newspaper and magazine articles, and is a regular dating advice columnist for both Bobbi and UMM magazines. In addition, Zan is frequently invited to give lectures at colleges and universities around the world, including UC Berkeley, McGill University, and Queen's University, among others. His biggest fans at the end of the day, however, are not men, but women. This is because he subscribes to the notion that all women are beautiful. Every woman he has ever been connected with still consider him a beautiful part of their lives. ***** I’m excited to be speaking with Zan Perrion. I’ve heard a lot about you, Zan, and this should be a really interesting interview...let’s start with your background. How did you first get interested in the social dynamics between men and women, and how did you transform this interest into a business? I’ve been involved in this for a long time, since the early days. My interest in this subject preceded the “seduction community.” I’ve always been in interested in the dynamics of men and women, and I’ve spent the last twenty years trying to discuss these types of things, to be able to better understand and describe it. I’d been doing this for a long time. Then the “community” came along, and it was natural for me to carry on with this discussion, but bring it to a wider audience. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Did you feel there was a gap in the information that other coaches or “gurus” were preaching? I never saw a gap, or tried to fill, or find, a niche. I’ve always been talking about the same type of thing—which is about being true to yourself and having the spirit of a man, one which women find attractive. I’ve never varied from my message. It’s got an audience; I’ve got quite a following of men in this world who respond to that, and my stuff is quite different from everything else that’s out there. As we both know, a lot of the guys reading these books, and attending the seminars, are out to learn a few lines and routines that will help them get laid. What’s interesting about you is that you take a deeper approach… My audience tends to be guys who are a little bit older than the students of most of the coaching companies out there. I don’t get a lot of the 19-year-old guys who are trying to pick up chicks, because my message is more about a more meaningful, mature type of interacting. The first thing I tell a guy who is 45—and I’m 44, so I’m speaking from experience—is that for the first time in your “older” life, I want you to stop trying to skirt around your age when you meet women. Because as soon as a man tries to avoid the question of his age with a younger woman, or make a joke about it, or deflect it in some way, it now becomes an issue with her. Normally, the 45year-old guy meets a 22-year-old girl, and when she asks his age, he skirts around it or makes a joke—and now in her mind, she’s thinking that he’s not secure about the fact that he’s 45. It now becomes an issue for her, because it’s an issue for you. I tell guys to “clear the air” immediately, because when you do that, and tell her your age, younger women won’t have an issue with it—because it’s obviously not an issue for you.

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45 What do you think are the biggest misconceptions that older guys have, about their ability to attract younger women? The main misconception guys have is that younger women would never go with them because of their age. But younger women in most parts of the world, including North America, are attracted to older men—if they have a certain way of moving through this world that denotes experience, worldliness, savvy, and adventure. So how would start coaching the average mature man—let’s say he’s 45 years old—if he wants to start interacting successfully with sexy younger women? Men need to understand that when you ask younger women about this—let’s say women in their early 20s—they consistently say they are not attracted to men their own age, because they seem to be more mature than those men. Older men need to emphasize the concept that they’ve accumulated a wealth of experience and knowledge about this world. That’s a very attractive way of presenting yourself. Instead, we try to hide the fact that we’ve traveled to all kinds of places, and done all of these interesting things, the same way we try to hide our age. We should be doing the opposite—talking about the wonders that we’ve experienced to this point. That’s attractive to younger women. It sounds like it starts with a shift in perspective... Definitely. You can have the perspective that, “she’s younger than me, and is probably looking for someone her own age, and would never go for me because I’m older”—or you can change that perspective. The correct perspective is an amazing one: that I’ve stood on this earth and seen things that are magnificent. When we can portray that in our lifestyle, and in the way we interact with younger women, they will be absolutely absorbed. They also love a spirit of adventure. Look at guys like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. These are good-looking, Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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46 famous guys, but they carry themselves in that worldly way—they’ve seen things, they’ve been through things. I know guys who are 50 years old and they’re magnetically attractive because they don’t apologize for who they are, their age, or where they’ve been. Let’s get specific. Would you begin a conversation with a woman in her 20s, the same way you’d approach a woman your own age? No. The first thing I tell the 25-year-old woman is my age. It sounds counterintuitive, but I actually learned this from a guy who was 48 years old. He told me, “The first thing I tell a young girl is my age.” Within the first 30 seconds, essentially. I didn’t believe him. Then I saw him in practice, actually doing it. He’d say, “So what’s your name?” She’d tell him, “Susan,” and then he’d say (playfully) “Y’know, I’m old enough to be your father, Susan, so this is never going to work.” He’d make a joke like that, within the first minute that he was talking to her. That type of self-deprecating humor can be very confident humor, and it puts it out there. As I said it earlier, when age ceases to be an issue for you, it ceases to be an issue to her. I learned that, and I’ve used it ever since. In my 30s I used to do the same as most guys—skirt around the issue. Now I tell the 23 or 25-year-old, “I’m too told for you, it’ll never work,” in a joking, smiling, winking type of manner. It’s a powerful thing to present, because it shows a lot of confidence. Are there certain venues you’d suggest to older guys who want to mix it up with younger women? The guys that are older tend to not want to go to thumping, loud clubs. They’re just not interested in that. They’re not having fun; they don’t want to bounce around in a sweaty tee-shirt. The natural extension of that is they’ll want to gravitate towards more upscale lounges, quieter venues, places like restaurants. As far as the venues go, I’d never advise a guy interested in younger women to go to the university hangout and act like he’s 21, and bounce around with the rest of Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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47 them. The guy has to be true to who he is, what he wants to be involved in, and if he goes to environments in which he’s not comfortable, it’s not going to be congruent. I’ve worked with students who feel awkward in any social situation where they’re hoping to interact with younger women. Talking to younger women at a bookstore, the mall or a coffee shop feels like a stretch to them. Is there a type of environment where these guys can feel more comfortable starting conversations? Well, if you’re not comfortable going to the mall, or coffee shops, or going to clubs sometimes, interacting with younger women is just not going to happen as often as you’d like it to. If you want to meet younger women, you’ll have to go to where they congregate. That’s just how it works. And so, you have to be prepared for those types of environments. How do you prepare? Do you have any specific tips—such as how a man should dress? You don’t want to be putting your baseball cap on backwards and wearing baggy pants (laughs). Dress in the manner of a man who has seen adventure in life. That means a way that you’re comfortable with, and still stylish and put together. Get some advice from women on what looks good on you, and try to dress to maximize that. Don’t try to dress outside of your age—maximize the sophistication of your age and convey a bit of an adventurous spirit. You’re a man of experience who has seen things. You’re on an adventure that women will want to go on with you. That’s how you want to come across. Is it necessary to “tailor” your conversational strategy when you’re talking to a 25-year-old, versus a woman who is substantially older?

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48 That’s a good question, because a lot of the stuff that’s taught today [by seduction coaches] involves memorizing a lot of different stories, and interesting things to say, so that you’re bombarding her and there isn’t any “dead air.” I believe it’s better to come across as a man of purpose and adventure, who is not masking his age, and be massively curious about who this 25 year old woman is. Be curious in a way that is engaging, and comes from your center. It isn’t about you bombarding her with one-sided conversation. The feeling should be like, “I know who I am, and I’m confident in that—now tell me something interesting about you.” That’s the way the conversation, in concept, should flow. It’s a very attractive, powerful way of presenting yourself. You’re not bombarding her with facts and figures about your life, and what you’ve done. That will come across in your presence, your experience in the way you view the world, and the way that you move. What about when it comes to closing the deal—whether it’s getting her phone number, lining up a date, or trying to take her home? Does her age play a role in how you should try to achieve this? There is a difference between women in their 20s, 30s and 40s. A 20-something is very likely looking for someone she wants to spend the rest of her days with. She’s thinking of the concept of someone that will share parenthood with, a guy she can take home to her parents and say, “this is the love of my life.” A woman in her 40s normally doesn’t have quite the same concept in mind. I’m generalizing here of course, but usually a woman that age has come into her own, so to speak, and she’s looking for someone who isn’t going to be intimidated by her. And as a man, you need to ask yourself, what do you want, relative to the woman you’re talking to right now—or dating? If she’s 23, and he’s 45, what is his desire for the future—and what is hers? Marriage, children, the whole nine? There is certainly a difference in the way women view the world at those different ages, and what they want.

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49 Do you see any potential downside to dating a woman much younger than yourself? I don’t even consider it at all. You can’t really control who you’re attracted to. If you’re attracted to a younger woman in her 20s, it’s because of the qualities she possesses, and what she presents to the world. If you’re sincere and honest about who you are, her age doesn’t matter. You both have opportunities to grow, and that can last forever. Well, I guess I’m referring to the “land mines” that I’ve occasionally encountered when dating younger women. They can be unpredictable sometimes, emotional, even explosive… I have a notion that men have a mid-life crisis, and women have a quartercentury crisis. By that I mean, when women reach around 25 years old, they start to examine everything about their future, where they are in life. At 25 they consider the relationship that they’re in, they wonder if they’ve made the right career choice, and they see their friends getting married and they wonder if they want that, or if it’s going to happen. 25 years old is a turbulent time for women, and it can be especially so if they’re in a relationship. If you get together with a woman who’s in her early 30s, and she hasn’t been married before and has no children—and I’m speaking generally here again—that’s probably a large component of what she’s looking for in her future. Of course, that could be what you’re looking for, as well. I’ve seen older men who were successful in the early stages with younger women, but once they’re in a relationship, managing the relationship becomes problematic. They resort to being a “sugar daddy” type, using money to hold onto her. What’s your take on this? There are two ways to have a relationship with a younger woman. You can shower her with all kinds of material things—and for some women, that’s enough to Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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50 make them stick around. However, will they love you for who you are? We see this model repeated over and over, where the older, wealthy guy has the young beautiful woman on his arm, but it’s not fulfilling or meaningful for either of them. Or, you can be curious about her, on an adventure together. I talk to men a lot about that—the idea of, not just going through life and settling in our careers and everything else we do, but heading out into this world on an adventure, with a definite purpose. Younger women and older women are attracted to that type of energy. It’s a way that has meaning. Age becomes irrelevant when you know who you are, and you don’t apologize for it. Can you share any stories about men that you’ve coached, who’ve found meaningful relationships and love with younger women? I’ve had many students from around the world in different seminars, and in various coaching situations, where the men are older and want to date younger women. I’ve had guys who are 55 years old. Every day, around the world, there are guys getting divorced. They may have been married for 10 years, or 20 years. They might have businesses and everything else in their life handled, but now they’re alone again, and they don’t know how to re-enter the dating world. I have many examples of guys who shifted that one thing where they stopped hiding or masking their age and experience in this world, and started to emphasize it and what they have to contribute. That shift alone changed those guys. I’ve got testimonials from men all over the world who say, “I tell women my age now without apology—not because I’m trying to pretend it’s no big deal, but to put it out there, because it’s a confident thing to do.” It really changes the whole dynamic. I had a student who is now married: he’s 49 and she’s 24. And he told me, the thing that shifted for him was this whole apologetic, “I’m older so I can’t offer what she wants” attitude. That perspective is completely flawed. We can change it. You can stand up tall on this earth. That mental block that older men have—they need to make friends with it, and start presenting who they are.

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51 Any final words or wisdom for all the men who are ready to get out there and start dating younger women? If you’re attracted to younger women, don’t apologize for it. Be true to who you are, and everyone will respect that. You’re not trying to manipulate anyone. If you just want a younger woman to show off to your buddies when you walk into a venue, you may want to examine what your motives and purposes are, and whether it’s congruent with what you want in life—because you might just be looking for validation. My big thing is being honest and coming across as a real man who doesn’t apologize for it, which is what too many men are doing in this day and age. You might be attracted to someone in their 20s, 30s, or 40s—but I 100% believe that age is irrelevant when you know who you are. Thanks for your time and insights, Zan. How can our readers find out more about your products and programs—and can they schedule one-on-one time with you? I do a lot of private coaching, as well as some major weekend “intensives” in different cities of the world. I also travel a lot and speak at universities. My website is www.zanperrion.com and I also have a forum that is devoted to speaking about this new way of interacting, which is at www.naturalgame.com.

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Chapter 5: Don’t Make That Mistake! by Eric Disco, Pickup 101 Head Instructor and founder of www.ApproachAnxiety.com There are a thousand things you could say to a woman. But what good are they if you can't walk up to her and say them? Every guy who wants to improve his lot with women has considered this before. In reality, walking up to a woman and starting a conversation shouldn’t be that difficult—but for some men, the thought of doing so can completely paralyze them! Or, they allow their minds to generate all of the reasons why they SHOULDN’T walk up to her and say hello. (She’s probably stuck-up…she must have a boyfriend…I’m not the type of guy she would go for…she’s going to think I’m hitting on her…etc.) Before ever hearing the word 'pickup,' Eric wondered what was keeping him from talking to women. Logically it should have been easy, but physically, it was impossible for him to break through that barrier. Years later, after becoming a head pickup instructor for one of the most respected companies in this industry, he still wrestles with the question: Why are men so afraid to walk up to women and talk to them? His blog, approachanxiety.com, is one of the most popular blogs on the internet for men who want to learn how to meet women. He's helped countless guys learn to accept the fear—and excitement—that goes along with meeting women. Men who once had given up on themselves are now out there approaching, dating and seducing women they never would have interacted with before. Through his writings, his probing podcasts with dating gurus, and his in-person coaching, Eric Disco has one aim: to help men find their true inner confidence. If

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53 you can learn to be comfortable, confident and yourself around women you've just met, the rest is easy. And so, we asked Eric to share his thoughts on approaching and meeting younger women. Here’s what this expert had to say… It's an easy mistake. She's young. She's gorgeous. She's fashionable and hip. She knows all the cool lingo and hangs out with young people. It seems like the universe revolves around her—and she often acts like it does. Perhaps she's sitting there in a cafe, or a bookstore or in a park. And you wonder what her life must be like. Wild parties and adventures. She probably dates rock stars. And there's you. You lead a normal life. "What could I possibly offer her?" you think to yourself. Perhaps you have money. But you're smart enough to know that showering her with lavish gifts only backfires—big time. Younger women often talk about how they'll let older men take them out and spend money on them, but they won't hook up with them. Perhaps you could show her some comfort. You have a nice home and drive a nice car. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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But all of this seems to pale in comparison to the exciting life she probably leads. As for me, I love dating younger women. I also love dating women my age. I even date women older than me. One of the beautiful things about dating younger women is that it truly shows what dating and relationships are about, and what they aren’t about. Once you start approaching women a lot, so many things start to fade into the background—things that used to seem relevant. Am I handsome enough? Am I rich enough? Am I too short, too bald, or too fat? And of course: Am I too old? If you've approached enough women, you know that how you make her feel about you is far less important than how you make her feel about herself. You know that you aren't trying to get into her world and show her that you can function in it. You are letting her discover your world. You begin to see that everything you have between the two of you is what you have right there in the moment when you are with her. All that other stuff doesn’t matter. If you can make her smile and play with her, she'll play back. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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If you can make her feel unique and special, she will always come back for more. Based on my experience, approaching thousands of women and coaching many guys of all ages, these are the most important aspects an older guy should look at when dating younger women.

Be Playful Last week, a girl friend of mine said she noticed how it was always the older men who seemed to strike up interest with younger women. It is the older men who know how to be playful. Being fun and playful is one of the most important things for older men. It is one of the aspects of older men that women find most appealing. A lot of older men know how to be playful and flirty around women. The young, buff stallion with the body of Adonis—but nothing interesting to say— can't compete with the suave, playful older gentleman who can make her feel fun and sexy. So how do you learn to be playful around amazingly cute young women, if you aren't already? Perhaps you even know that you should be playful with her. Maybe you've heard this before. Perhaps you mapped everything out in your mind. You pictured yourself being cool, relaxed and fun. She's laughing. You’re laughing. Well played! Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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But then comes the reality. You get in front of her and your body locks up. You become completely inhibited. Your mind goes blank. Your heart starts to race. You start acting weird. Creepy. “Oh my god,” you think. “What's wrong with me?!” It’s okay. This is natural. Becoming good with women is more akin to learning a physical activity, like bike riding or swimming, than learning a mental activity, like math or chess. Your body needs to be relaxed and uninhibited so that you can be yourself: that cool, fun self that women will be attracted to. The best way to do this is to practice. And know that you will mess it up—at first. That's okay. You will fall off that bike. And instead of cursing the ground and hating yourself for not being able to ride the bike, the best thing you can do is laugh it off. Tell yourself you are awesome for doing this, and get back onto the bike as soon as possible. To practice being playful, you want to understand what it is. So what is being playful and flirting? At its root, it is essentially role-playing. Here are a few of these basic role-plays you can pick up and start to practice:

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57 1. I'm too sexy. This is one of the best role-plays. The basic idea is that you are role-reversing: you are the sexy girl that is always getting hit on. When you sit down next to her, you could say something like, “I’m not sitting too close, am I? You’re not going to get too turned on, are you?” You could complain how women are always trying to touch you, and you need a bodyguard. Will she be your bodyguard? You could tell her that you don’t sleep with women until the 14th date, and that she needs to buy you dinner and show you a good time first. 2. You're too sexy. This is also a really fun role-play. It’s a great way to compliment her, without complimenting her. “Oh my god, you are way too sexy. I’m only flesh and blood, you know.” “What are you doing? Every guy in here is jealous of me that we’re talking.” 3. You're screwing everything up. Women actually love when you bust on them a little (in a playful way), because it suggests that you are a high-value man who has high standards. You’re not the typical, nervous guy her own age who would never dare tease her, for fear of turning her off.

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58 If she spills a drink, instead of saying, “it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” it would actually make her feel better if you joked about it. That would truly let her know it’s okay. “Oh my god, I can’t take you anywhere, go wait in the car.” Being playful is something you cultivate in yourself. You can learn to be playful around women. Try to do it everywhere you go. When you order coffee, tell the cute girl behind the counter that you want 17 cups, and then say, “No, I changed my mind. I’ll just have one.” The more you do it in various situations, the more comfortable you’ll be when you get in front of that woman you are truly interested in.

Be Honest A student recently asked me if guys who are great with women are like chameleons. He wondered whether the great seducers change who they are, depending on who they're with. The answer is no. They are not chameleons. It is the exact opposite: guys who are good with women are good at being themselves, no matter who they are around. This is called confidence. I’d like to think I would appear to be the exact same person, me, whether I was talking to the President of the United States, the Playboy Playmate of the Year, or a homeless person.

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59 Learning to be great with women is about learning how to be yourself around attractive women, as soon as you meet them. Your personality should be consistent. I never lie to women. I never lie, period. This is who I am. Like it. Love it. Welcome to my world. I feel I have so much to offer, there is no reason to lie to anybody. In the past, when I lied, it was usually to make other people feel better about themselves. People love honesty. They are drawn to it. I don't always tell people everything they want to know about me, but I won't lie about who I am. And women can sense that. If she asks how old I am, I don't lie about it. I may hold off and playfully tell her that I'm 15 and never been kissed. But I won't really say I'm younger than I really am. If she asks what I do for a living, I refuse to lie about it. I may joke with her that I don't have a job, and I'm homeless at the moment, and looking for a woman to take care of me. But I won't lie about it. Get used to telling the truth. If you're anything like I used to be, you get in front of an attractive woman and all of a sudden, all systems are YES. You find yourself “Yessing” her constantly and being too nice. Instead, get in the habit of playfully teasing her, joking around, and challenging her. (There is some excellent advice in other parts of this book about “teases” and “challenges” you can use during conversation.)

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Bring Her Into Your World Instead of Trying to Get Into Hers. A good friend and former student of mine is 45 years old and regularly dates women in their early 20's. He's incredible now, but he wasn't very good with women less than two years ago. He got to this point by going out a few days a week and practicing in bars, clubs, and during the day as well. So, he was recently chatting with one of these women. She’s twenty years his junior, and he’d been seeing her for some time. They were watching the show “Top Chef” on TV. One of the hosts, the stunning Padma Lakshmi, is a model and the former wife of Salmon Rushdie (a highly respected author who is seven years older than her father, and not exactly conventionally handsome). The woman he was with commented that she couldn’t believe Lakshmi could marry someone so much older and uglier. "What do you mean?" he responded. "She's just a pretty girl. She was born pretty. He's one of the world's greatest living authors." What a fantastic answer!

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61 An interesting look came over her face as she realized that his comment also had some bearing on their relationship. Her world seems shiny and exciting from the outside. But as an older man, your world is actually so much more interesting and rich, with so much more to offer. Don’t even try to play the game of trying to compete in her world. You’ll lose. Instead, let her discover your world and all the amazing things you have to offer.

Embrace the Age Difference You may be wondering if you are too old for her, and you may find yourself wanting to convince her that you aren't. Perhaps she's even brought it up. Instead of trying to convince her that you aren't too old for her, you should embrace the age difference. Start questioning whether she is experienced enough for you. My 45-year-old friend is excellent at embracing the age difference. He'll ask the women whether they've seen "Midnight Cowboy," "Mean Streets," and "The Graduate," three edgy classics from the golden age of American cinema, the late 60's and early 70's. When she says no, he shakes his head and laments, "You need me, sistah. You realize that, right? Now, I have to figure out if I need you." These movies are in his DVD collection, so this sets up a nice movie night with take-out at his place.

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62 He will also ask them about other experiences, like travel, restaurants, and books. But when he "asks," he’s really challenging her, because at her age there is no way she could have as many interesting experiences as he.

Make Her Feel Special One of the challenges of dating someone who lives in such a different world than yours is being able to appreciate her. Sure, she looks sexy, and she’d certainly be a blast in bed, but how do you connect with a girl who lives in such a different world? Well, how do you connect with anyone? Building a connection with a woman comes down to making her feel special, making her feel valued, making her feel unique—different than every other girl in the world. And you don't do this by showering her with compliments from the start. When you first meet a woman, particularly a younger one, you can't act completely won over by her within the first minute. You want to be interested, but a little bit aloof, and gradually show more interest as she qualifies herself to you. Notice I said that she is qualifying herself to you.

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63 You shouldn't be sitting there talking on and on and on about everything in your life. This will only show how badly you want to impress her. And trust me, she won't be impressed. The idea is to get her talking. Remember, it's how you make her feel about herself, rather than how you make her feel about you. All it takes is a bit of genuine interest to make her feel like you've really gotten to know her. But how can you possibly relate to someone so young, someone who lives in another world than you? On top of that, how can you relate when you, as an older man, have so much to offer her, so much experience, so many great things that will be difficult for her match? The answer is that no matter where you are in life, we all share commonalities. We all have struggles and hopes and fears. We all feel joy and sadness. Connect with her on the emotion. Open yourself up to her as well on an emotional level. While commonalities can certainly help to build friendships, you celebrate the differences with your friends and learn from other people because of those differences.

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64 The same holds true with younger women. You can learn so much from each other, if you can learn to connect on an emotional level.

Be Willing To Suck At This At the Beginning… I coach a lot of younger guys as well as older guys. Sometimes I think to myself, “Oh man, I wish I’d learned to do this stuff in college!” But being a little bit older has its advantages. There are certain advantages to having lived a little longer, to having been around the block once or twice. I know how to motivate myself. I have so much knowledge, insight and experience at my disposal that I didn’t have twenty years ago. That experience makes my learning in the realm of women all that much richer and enjoyable. It takes a little bit of practice to get good at it. You may not be successful the first few times you do it. You may think to yourself, "I'm good at so many things, why aren't I good at this?" But you know as well as I do: getting good at something you are not good at requires ACCEPTANCE that you aren't good at it. If you want to learn to play the drums, you have to be willing to sit in front of that drum kit and be all thumbs for a while until you get a feel for it.

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65 The pain and struggle starts to become less and less, and the fun and creative expression starts to increase, the more you practice. You won't be a genius at this at first. And that's okay. But keep working at it, and pretty soon you will have those hot young women in your life.

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Chapter 6: Crucial Skills You Need to Date Younger Women By Ron Louis: www.howtosucceedwithwomen.com Why is it that some guys consistently succeed at dating and having sex with younger women, while others simply drool over younger chicks and never succeed? Is it because some older guys are "naturals," while others are born losers? No way. While there are naturals out there, I wholly believe that attraction is a set of skills anyone can learn. Some guys may need to work harder than others. Some men face more of an uphill battle, but I believe that succeeding with women involves learning a set of skills, behaviors, and beliefs, which combined add up to success with women of any age. (Having a pair of balls, and knowing how to deal with rejection, are part of this, too.) That said, if you follow the advice we have set out in this book you will be the type of guy that succeeds with younger women on a consistent basis. For some guys this may take a few months of constant work; for others, it may happen next weekend. Success is inevitable if you work at this in a disciplined and consistent manner. The next logical question is, what specific skills should you work on? It seems that every dating guru has a different approach, a different focus, and a different method. Which one to pick? Who is better? What makes the most sense? What I’m presenting in this chapter are some of the commonalities in all of the dating gurus we have included in this book. And trust us when we say that we worked hard to find the very best and most successful dating gurus in the world. We interviewed guys from very different backgrounds and with different styles of

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67 succeeding with women—yet all of them produce amazing results for themselves and their clients. I want to stress to you that succeeding with younger women is not rocket science. It is not as difficult as you have been making it out to be. Success with younger women is not as complicated, nor as challenging as you believe it is. To start, you need to be aware that older guys date younger women all the time. Every day and every night, in every city in the world, older guys are succeeding with younger women. These guys are not necessarily more attractive, richer, taller, or cooler than you. One of the problems with dating "theory" is that it is often difficult to apply to real-life situations. If you’ve been studying books or have attended seminars by the “gurus,” you’ve probably read too much dating theory in your life already. You need to learn how to put these skills into practice in actual situations. The next question you may be asking is what you should specifically do, say, and talk about with younger women. From my standpoint, and from coaching tons of older guys out in the field in seminars and coaching programs, there is a typical set of problems they seem to have in common, and gaps in how they approach and talk to younger women. We’re going to cover those myths and stopping points in this chapter, and also explain the major “skill groups” you need to master to greatly increase your game with women. The key difference between you at this point, and the men who enjoy success with younger women, is that they simply take action and get into the game, and you probably do not. Yes, there are some skills you should learn and new behaviors you’ll need to adapt, but the most important key to scoring with a younger babe is getting the hell out of your house and going out to meet and approach women.

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68 This book, and this chapter in particular, will help you develop a solid game plan and an awareness of the skills you’ll need to work on. We want you to master the art of meeting and succeeding with younger women, and enjoy this new attitude and skill set for the rest of your life. (Even if you enter into a committed relationship with one woman, as is the goal for most men, maintaining the right attitude and skills will ensure that her attraction towards you never cools off.) Part One: The Bullshit Concerns That Kill Your Chances With Younger Women “It’s Just Too Scary To Talk To Younger Women.” The number one barrier that older guys face with younger women is fear: fear of rejection, fear of being seen as a dirty old man, fear of women thinking they are creeps, and fear of women in general. Fear is about your brain telling you to watch out for danger. Your heart starts pounding fast and hard, your brain goes on overdrive, and you can't think straight. Some guys even feel nauseous, or freeze dead in their tracks when they feel a wave of fear. And the even worse news is that fear is like an untrained dog: the more you let it shit on the carpet or ignore your commands, the more it will run the show. In essence, every time you buy into your fear and avoid approaching and talking to women, fear wins out and runs your life just a little more. Conversely, every time you challenge your fear and act in spite of it, it shrinks. The only way to conquer your fear of approaching younger women is to get out there and start doing it. I recommend you start doing it slowly, over time. Go to a mall on a Saturday and say "hi" to 10 women, and see how it goes. From there, start using the skills we cover in this chapter and build up your confidence.

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69 "Just do it" is not an empty slogan; it’s a reality. You simply have to do this, or you will get a younger woman. “They’ll Disqualify Me Because Of My Age” Another bullshit excuse that older guys use to deny themselves the opportunity to meet younger women is holding the belief that younger women won't like them, be interested in them, or even want to talk to them because of the age difference. Here's the bottom line: some younger chicks won't dig you. But guess what: even if you were a buff 24-year-old rock star, some chicks wouldn’t like you, either. That said, here are the statistics that I've seen out in the dating scene. Roughly 25-30% of younger chicks will not be interested at all in dating an older man period. 10-15% really WANT to date an older guy and will find it hot and interesting. The rest of the women, the remaining 50-60%, are somewhat to very open to dating an older guy. Those are pretty decent numbers for you, and armed with the skills in this book you’ll be set to find the women who are open to you. The rest can fall by the wayside. It is complete bullshit that most younger women will rule you out because of your age. Some will, but I believe most won't—as long as project the right attitude, and put the correct skills into action. “I Have Nothing To Talk About…” Later in this chapter we’re going to teach you a wide range of topics to talk to women about. If you’ve ever found yourself going "blank" when you talk to women, you need to work on your conversational skills ASAP! The number one thing you bring to the table with younger women, along with life experience, is your conversational skills. Without them, you will be a dismal failure. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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The good news is that you can indeed learn these skills, and with a little work you will be above the pack in no time. “They’ll Think I'm A Dirty Old Man.” This is another crippling limiting belief. The majority of younger women will not assume you're a “dirty old man,” but if you’re overly concerned about coming across this way, you will communicate this negative vibe you talk to younger women. You need to reconcile this within yourself. Psychologists have shown time and again that if we have a dominant thought, fear or concern, we find ways to make it real. If, for example, I am scared of being insulted, I will walk around all day looking for situations where someone insults me. If I am worried all the time that people think I am ugly or fat, I will be hyper aware of the people around me, and subconsciously I’ll even search out people who will judge me as a fat and ugly slob, since it confirms my internal belief. So, if you are hyper worried about people judging you as a dirty old man, or as a creepy older guy, you will likely illicit that response from younger women. Believing you are a dirty old man usually comes from aspect of a Judeo Christian background, and at some level ties into a belief that sex is bad. If this is an issue you struggle with, you need to find ways to work on it. You may need to logically dissect it, or simply become aware of this belief and choose to stop believing it. “I Think Younger Women Are Hot And I Want To Have Sex With Them, But I Really Don’t Want To Get To Know Them.” Let’s be honest: sometimes we just want to get laid. We could care less about a woman's personality, and we have zero interest in getting to know her. Sometimes we just want to fuck. I can totally understand this. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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But here's the problem: most younger women are not going to automatically think of you as a guy for short-term sex, or a one night stand. They’re more likely to view you as an interesting guy to spend time with, someone who can provide cool and interesting experiences. Younger women are going to look at you as a guy who can bring value to their lives, not as a one night lay. Will they still want to fuck you and have sex? For sure. But if you are unwilling to put in the "work" of getting to know a younger woman, and overcoming the initial hurdles, it’s unlikely that you will reach that stage. When you are willing to take the adequate time to get to know a woman and build your “bond” with her, your chances of success greatly improve. “I Seem To Come Across More Like A Father Figure Than A Potential Lover.” A lot of older guys simply don’t know how to relate to younger women. They end up giving them “fatherly advice.” This often happens because the older man is at a more secure, stable position in his life, and views the younger woman’s life as being chaotic and in need of guidance. He is constantly trying to persuade her to be more logical, practical, predictable, and rational. If you’re going to date younger women, you should expect their lives to be an emotional rollercoaster. Expect them to be sporadic and undependable at times. Expect them to be moody and scared about their future. Expect emotional outbursts when they are PMS-ing, and when they have silly feuds with their girlfriends or their sister. This is the terrain of younger women. They are highly emotional and explosive. Deal with it. This is all part of the experience of dating a younger woman, but if you maintain the right perspective, these aspects of the relationship can be enjoyable. She sees the world through completely different eyes than you do. She probably has a fresh, non-jaded perspective on life, and all kinds of hopes and dreams for Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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72 her future. She is inevitably less practical than you, but she's open to life in ways you are not. She is less of a "know it all," and more open to taking risks. To get out of the "father" zone, relate to her as an equal. Be interested in learning more about her point of view. You can have your own strong opinions about life, but don’t talk down to her. Don't preach to her. You’re going to have to let her make some mistakes and learn the lessons, and refrain from always telling her “I told you so.” The more you can accept and appreciate her as a very different person than you, the more likely she is to appreciate and relate to you. I personally know how hard it is to keep my own mouth shut when my 26-year-old girlfriend does incredibly stupid and naïve things, but if I want to keep her, I know I need to keep my mouth shut and let her learn on her own. My job is to be her peer, not her teacher. Part Two: Skills You Must Master To Succeed With Younger Women

Tell Great Stories. A boring older guy will never be able to attract younger women. To connect with a younger woman, you will need to reveal personal information about yourself— and reveal it in an interesting manner. So what’s the key to telling interesting stories? I suggest you actually sit down and think about your life, and write down some of the more interesting experiences you’ve had. Be detailed. What lessons did you learn? How did they change your view of the world, and of yourself? Or perhaps there wasn’t any “moral” to the story…it was just a fun, crazy experience that women will enjoy hearing about.

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73 Once you’ve worked on your stories, find ways to use them in conversations with women. A good story will hook her interest. These are just a few examples (and you can come up with your own): •

An interesting place you have been to recently

•

The most fascinating person you’ve ever met

•

What you would like to do when you get older

•

What you would like to learn in the future

•

A frightening experience you had when you were young

•

A person you like to spend time with

•

The most exciting, heart-pounding experience you ever had

•

A favorite pet you had as a child

•

A place you would like to visit in the future

•

A person you hope to meet some day

•

A person who has influenced your life

•

Something you have never done, but would like to do

•

Something you have done, but never want to do again

•

An experience which made you laugh uncontrollably

•

An experience which made you cry

•

What you would do if you were President of your country

Get Lucky I know this probably sounds like a major oversimplification, to tell you to “get lucky.” Isn't this about learning specific skills? Yes, meeting younger women is about learning a set of skills. But don’t ever forget that luck is a part of it. Sometimes you go out, all the stars in the universe align, and you just seem to get lucky. You meet a woman and the conversation flows as if you’re two old friends who have been reunited. Or you go to a bar, make contact with a woman, Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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74 and you effortlessly hook up with her. (Actually, there was effort involved—you had to show up, open your mouth, and take some risks.) There’s always some degree of luck involved. The good news is that to a large degree, you can create your own luck. I remember once having a conversation with a very famous actor, and I asked him whether success in Hollywood was about being “in the right place, at the right time.” He explained to me that in the early years of his career, he hustled relentlessly for acting gigs. He attended every audition and networking opportunity he possibly could. He believed that if he was everywhere all the time, eventually he’d find himself in the right situation to capitalize on an opportunity. And that’s exactly what happened. Naturally, when he became a big star, those were who jealous of his success attributed it to “luck.” But in reality, it’s like the quote says: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. I see a lot of guys either taking no action and complaining about their lack of “luck” with women, or they go out and feel like they have to try super hard to meet women. Well, neither approach works so well with meeting younger women. Doing nothing obviously produces no results. On the other hand, when you are obviously trying super hard with younger women, you give off a needy, highstrung vibe that women find repellent. Going out with a relaxed attitude, and an openness to whatever comes your way, is the ultimate mindset. The other essential component is knowing in your gut that sometimes you will lucky, and sometimes you won't. Either way, we say go out anyway and work on meeting and scoring with younger women.

Get Into Her Reality.

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75 This shouldn’t come as a shocker to you, but the reality is that younger women are generally bored shitless by how most men talk to them. Most guys do not, in fact, relate to women at all. They talk about topics women, and especially younger women, could care less about. They talk about their jobs, their computers, car, sports, and technical and mechanical topics that just end up turning off women completely. What do women care about? In a nutshell, they care about emotions, travel, unusual topics, psychology, what makes people tick, and most of all, THEMSELVES. So, your job is to get into her world as much as possible and ask the sorts of questions that will encourage her to reveal herself to you. The mistake happens when you, the man, ask too many questions and do not reveal anything about yourself. The conversation becomes too one-sided and feels more like an interrogation than a dialogue. Remember, a conversation is two-way street. When you share something about yourself, you should shift the focus back the other way and learn something about her. As you converse with younger women, slip outside of your normal perspective and get into her reality. Learn about how she views life, what she deeply cares about, her likes and dislikes, her dreams, her aspirations, and her fantasies.

Ask Amazing Questions As an older guy, it’s especially important to understand the art of building rapport, and how to elicit and talk about interesting material. If not, you are sunk. This is one of the critical areas that separate the men from the boys. As I mentioned earlier, most guys approach women in extremely boring and predictable ways. They ask cliché, uninspiring questions. You need to find

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76 ways to ask her questions that challenge her to think in new ways. At the same time, asking amazing questions can create a fun atmosphere. Here are a few different types of questions that you can ask a woman to create great connections. These are not the most slick or sexual questions you can ask a woman (you shouldn’t be asking those sorts of questions until after you’ve hooked her interest, anyway). But these questions will give you some general ideas about generating interesting conversations: Interesting Personal questions… ƒ

Do you have any phobias?

ƒ

Tell me three things you like about yourself.

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If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick?

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What do you consider to be the most valuable thing you own— maybe not in terms of its price, but its personal value to you?

ƒ

If someone made a movie about your life, what would they call it?

ƒ

If you were in the "Miss America" talent competition, what would your talent be?

Personal, Playful and fun Questions… ƒ

You have complete access to your city for 24 hours. It's April Fool's Day. What prank would you pull off?

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If you could steal one thing and get away with it, what would it be?

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What is the stupidest pickup line a guy has ever used on you?

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If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?

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What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it.

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What’s one thing about you that people would be surprised to know?

Personal, deep questions… Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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ƒ

If you won the lottery tomorrow, and never had to work another day in your life, how would you spend your time?

ƒ

If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want, and why?

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What's the kindest act you have ever experienced (something you did for someone, or something they did for you)?

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What person has influenced your life the most? Why?

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Did you ever have a really important turning point in your life?

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What scares you the most?

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If you could ask God a question, what would it be?

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What's the most important thing to you in life?

Clarification Questions… As she talks and reveals things to you, you should keep the momentum moving along by asking “clarifying questions.” These give her the sense that you’re listening attentively and are sincerely interested. They also encourage her to keep talking and revealing. • What do you mean by ______? • Why do you think that’s true? • What are your reasons for saying that? • Why did you say that? • Where did you get this idea? • Have you always felt this way?

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Create Conversations Based On Authenticity Emotionally guarded people are boring, and success with younger chicks is all about coming across as an interesting guy. So, you need to learn to express yourself around women in a unique manner. I believe every one of us has a fascinating person inside. You've had interesting experiences and have unique ways of viewing the world, but you may have a tendency to “dumb yourself down” around women and fail to communicate your interests and passions. You may also be masking the “real you” because you figure you ought to play it safe and go with her flow. A lot of guys make the mistake of trying to “mirror” women, thinking that this will create a connection. If she’s talking about her problems and frustrations, he talks about his. If she’s happy and enthusiastic, he puts on a “happy” front and tries to relate to her on that level. If she talks about her dramatic relationship with her ex-boyfriend, he’ll go on and on about his ex-wife, etc. It’s when you come across as authentic that women will truly relate to you—and respect your confidence in who you are, and what you bring to the table. What is authenticity? ƒ

Being real

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Being opinionated

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Risking looking stupid

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Risking rejection

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Being raw

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Being emotional

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Being intense

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Being passionate Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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79 ƒ

Having a sense of humor

Try Out Lots Of Different Types Of Approaches As I said earlier, every dating "guru" teaches a slightly different method and has different ideas about how to find and meet women. Just as each woman is different and requires a slightly different approach, each man reading this book is different, too. For you to feel comfortable and be your best "seductive self," you’ll need to find ways of approaching and interacting with women that fit your personality and style. The only way to find your unique voice is to try out all sorts of different approaches, until you find what works for you. Don’t get stuck in one way of interacting with women that doesn’t feel authentic to you. I've seen older guys trying to act like 20-year-old frat guys and attempting to use ghetto slang and approaches that seem immature and inappropriate. (They’re failing miserably with women, in case you were wondering.) I've also seen older guys use approaches that had them appear too reserved, professorial, and uptight. These men also failed, big time. You must go out and try different types of approaches, in a variety of different social situations, to find out how to best succeed with younger women in ways that feel congruent to you.

Convey A Paradoxical Personality Women love paradoxical guys. Women crave men who are complicated and mysterious, not simple and easy to figure out. To start, answer these questions: What is it that women would not expect about you? How are you paradoxical?

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80 Every man reading this is paradoxical at some level. You have the ability to portray many different aspects of your personality at one time. You do this by sharing and revealing different points of view that you hold, sharing unique stories, and showing that you, in your own way, are paradoxical. Show a woman that: •

You are a gentleman and a "bad" boy at the same time.

•

You are sexual and trustworthy at the same time.

•

You’re ambitious and focused, but also know how to cut loose and party.

•

You can be hot and cold: giving her your undivided attention, then being unavailable when she wants to see you or talk to you on the phone.

•

You can be both edgy and sweet.

•

You can be emotionally available and emotionally turbulent at the same time.

•

You can be dramatic and serious, and also silly and playful.

•

You’re a funny guy who doesn’t take life too seriously, but you can also talk about deep, introspective topics.

You can accomplish this through telling stories and sharing details of your life that highlight different aspects of your personality—especially things about yourself that a woman will not expect.

Be Emotional We all know that women love, and bond through, emotions. Emotions are like your “artist’s palette” when you’re constructing conversations with women. It is emotional intensity that changes the tone and vibe of a conversation, and by subtly tweaking the emotional content, you can change the mood dramatically.

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81 Learning to speak the language of women means using emotions in your stories, and in your conversations. You need to learn how to include EMOTIONAL CONTENT when asking questions and making statements. Come up with stories from your life on the following topics: •

A time you felt frustrated or angry.

•

A time you were really scared.

•

A funny but embarrassing story.

•

A story about a time you felt overwhelmed with excitement or joy.

You need to start utilizing emotional content to create a deeper sense of rapport with women. When you do so, they will feel more connected to you. When you don't, women will feel that the conversation is more platonic and boring.

The 5 Key Topics Women Love to talk about This is not a complete list, but a very basic one so you can easily memorize it. Here are the top 5 topics you can use in any conversation with a woman to create a connection: 1. Travel/vacations 2. Food 3. Fashion/clothing 4. Movies, books, forms of drama 5. Celebrities, people in the news, current events

Talk about your job in an interesting way.

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82 This is such an important detail that it requires its own heading. When you meet anyone for the first time you will inevitably talk about what you do for a living. If you talk about what you do in a lame and boring way, you will immediately turn her off. Furthermore, how you talk about your job tells her a TON about you. Let’s say you have a pretty standard job, like you're an accountant or a computer programmer. Both of these careers, on the surface, are not too thrilling to talk about. (Actually, there aren’t that many jobs/careers outside of being a rock star or professional athlete that women do find incredibly compelling and interesting.) This means that rather than talk about the details of what you do (or even worse, how much you dislike what you do), you can come up with interesting and funny stories about weird people you work with, or unusual experiences you’ve had at your job. For example, if you're an accountant, the pressures of tax season are not interesting, but the story of your day trader client who lost a million bucks and fled to Mexico is interesting. Or a story about how you saved a single mother with four kids a ton of money, and helped her out by doing her taxes for free. (That’s interesting, and demonstrates what a great guy you are.) Or, maybe there’s some wild office gossip—or something hilarious that happened at last year’s company Christmas party—that you can share with her. If your job is fairly interesting—maybe you’re a police officer, a writer, or a musician—it’s the stories and experiences that women will find fascinating, not the mundane details. A writer like myself, for example, can talk about the pressures of deadlines and how I’ve been chained to my computer for days—or, I can tell women about the most interesting celebrity I’ve ever interviewed, or the craziest night I ever had in New York City when I visited there on a book promotion tour.

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83 You should have work-related stories that convey suspense, intensity, drama, and moments of humor. Invest the time to come up with stories about your job, practice telling then out loud, and then try them out on women.

And Most Importantly, Talk to A TON Of Younger Women… I don't need to tell you that finding amazing women is, to a certain extent, a numbers game. If you talk to enough women you will find some really hot and interesting ones, but you must go out and talk to a ton of them to find the special few you “click” with. There are other reasons to have this wide variety of interactions and experiences. You need the practice, first of all. And more importantly, you can't expect to just get lucky. You will occasionally get shot down, or screw things up. It will take some time and practice to score that beautiful younger woman you’ve been picturing in your head, and as with any skill, the more you work on it the better, and more confident, you will become.

In Conclusion… A few months ago, I was at a media conference north of San Francisco, in wine country. I wound up hanging out with a really cool 22-year-old college student from Philadelphia. She was super smart, hot, and had a great sense of humor. We sat together during meal breaks, attended many seminars together, and were constantly flirting with each other. It seemed like every time I turned around, another guy would be hitting on her. No problem, I figured—I've dealt with plenty of cock blockers before, and was able to easily hold her interest. Things were going great. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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After a couple of days of flirting, some fun late-night drinking, and making out in my hotel room, I was happy. There was one problem, however: there was one cock blocker who was getting a lot of attention from her. He was an older professor-type in his late 50s with a charming, easygoing manner. He’d get her laughing about something, and the next thing I knew he’d have his arm around her. At this point, most guys would feel threatened and try to keep her as far as way from the other guy as possible. Instead, I thought I’d better cozy up to him and find out why, exactly, she was so receptive to him. I joined their next conversation, and it turned out that this guy was amazing. He reminded me of the actor Dennis Hopper. He had a wicked sense of humor and had an endless reservoir of fascinating stories. He talked about interesting political stories from the 1960's, travel stories of amazing places, hilarious stories of doing LSD, and much more. He had no fear at all, and was completely open about his life and experiences. Luckily, the guy didn't succeed at banging this chick. I managed to have her sleep in my bed a couple of nights, and seal our connection. But I mention this guy as an example of someone who was fairly “old,” and yet had a remarkable effect on women. If my game wasn’t as strong as it is, I have no doubt he could have snatched her out from under me. I'm not the slickest guy in the world with women, but I had a very strong connection with this girl and we spent a lot of time together. For this guy to get her so interested, and open to him, was quite a feat. I actually came to view the other guy as a model for how I want to interact with women when I reach that age—able to not only build authentic connections with women who are decades younger, but to make them feel genuine sexual attraction.

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Chapter 7: Meeting Younger Women Online by Sam Stone www.onlinedatingpro.com Guys in their 40 and 50s tend to have a harder time conceptualizing that they can be successful with younger women online. Age and experience, however, can be huge assets that you use to your advantage. For starters, stop viewing your age as a vulnerability, and don’t bother trying to hide (or fudge) the truth. Assuming you are truthful in your profile, your age is going to be listed right there for women to see. (Sure, a lot of guys will shave a few years off their actual age, but eventually you’ve got to meet these women in person—and if you’re obviously way older than you claimed to be, she is going to automatically deem you untrustworthy.) I've helped many guys to become more successful with dating younger women. Personally, I don't date women over the age of 25, and with these methods I've managed to get up to 10 dates a week with beautiful women on a recurring basis. I've also had the chance to experience firsthand some of the most common obstacles that older men face when using online dating. I've been fortunate to get really good at overcoming these obstacles, and other guys have asked me how to overcome these challenges. This is why I've put this special report together: to help guys like us get over these obstacles easily, and find success in online dating—no matter what you want to get out of it. You can learn more about these topics at my website: www.onlinedatingpro.com. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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86 Obstacle #1: You mention your age in an email, and she doesn't respond. I hate to say this, but age is an issue for some girls. This is probably one of the most common issues older guys face when trying online dating, since you’ve got to try to communicate your personality through your profile, and cleverly written emails. If you’d met this same girl while you were out shopping on a Sunday afternoon, she might be immediately interested in your personality, your style, etc. But when you’re attempting to meet women online, she has a lot less information to go on—and more reasons to hit the “delete” button, simply because she has preconceived notions about the age range she thinks she is interested in. Still, there are right ways, and wrong ways, to handle this. I’ve seen cases in which guys apologized for being older, as if mentioning their age as a reason for women to reject them. Bad, bad move. Women (both offline and online) are interpretive creatures. Everything you say gets filtered through her mental computer, and if you make something into an issue, it will become an issue for her as well. Why bring up anything that will give her a reason to doubt or reject you? She can see your profile, and if she doesn't like it, she won't respond (and there are ways to overcome that, too)…but if she does like what you have to say, you’ll be in the door, even if you’re 20 or 30 years older than her.

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87 Obstacle #2: You email a girl and she doesn't respond to your email. This is one of the most common issues guys face when they first get started with online dating, and it causes some men to throw in the towel far too prematurely. There are several reasons why this could happen: 1. The girl is simply unavailable: she met someone and forgot to remove her profile from the dating site. You can easily overcome this by using a search filtered by "last date active.” Girls who haven’t been active for a while (usually over a week) are most likely less available then girls who are still active every day. 2. The girl is not in town/too busy/abducted by aliens/etc. Sometimes it's just a matter of timing. She might not have enough time to reply, or she isn’t around to answer your email. In this case, don't be a baby and start harassing her with emails asking why she didn't answer your email, and why she's ignoring you. Just wait for a while, and if you see that she’s been active lately on the site, email her one more time. 3. The girl didn't see your email: attractive women usually get bombarded with emails when they sign up for an online dating service. They may get overwhelmed, and don't take the time to sort through all the emails they get. Who can blame them? What you can do is, stand out with your emails by using a catchy subject line. For example, using the “matrix approach” I talk about in my ebook "Internet Dating Secrets Revealed!", scan through her profile and target something that she says is important to her. Then, when you write to her, put a “challenge” in the subject line. If she says she likes Mexican food, you write "I can't believe you like Mexican food..."

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88 She’ll notice the subject of your email because it will stand out from all the "I want to meet you" or "hello beautiful" emails she gets. She’ll glance at the subject line and think, "what's wrong with me liking Mexican food? Why is this guy challenging me?" Attractive women are used to men supplicating to them and saying stuff like "you like Mexican food? I like it too!" just to try to get her to like them. By challenging her, you are separating yourself from the pack. She will then read the email to see what you have to say. You don’t need to mention Mexican food ever again. Just use that tactic to pique her curiosity and get the correspondence started. Obstacle #3: You want to get good at online dating, but you don’t feel ready yet to email the REALLY attractive young women. This is another common scenario. You figure there is a "learning curve" with online dating, so you’re better off trying to correspond with the more “regular” girls before you try for the gold. It’s true that online dating excellence is a skill. This is especially true if you are trying to date women who are much younger than you, and have a lot of options. Depending on your level of “game,” you might need some practice and trial and error in order to develop a level of skill that will allow you to meet younger women of exceptional quality. And there’s nothing wrong with taking this attitude. Once you spend enough time on a dating site, you will start seeing the same faces over and over again. You’ll start to notice the "regulars"—but perhaps you don’t want to burn out your options too soon (especially in smaller towns), when you don't feel you have the skills down yet. In this case, a great method to use, that allows you to build stock material and get some practice, is "moving.” Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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No, I don't mean that you need to physically move to a new town. With a quick adjustment to your profile and a click of a mouse, you can change your location—and then you have a totally new set of girls you can practice on. (Hey, who knows, you might even wind up traveling to meet a girl in another city if something interesting develops.) I don't recommend "moving" your location to major "player" cities like Los Angeles or New York. I suggest trying this tactic in smaller, less "sophisticated" cities and practice there. If you do want an advanced class in online pick up, then Los Angeles and New York are hotbeds for attractive younger women—but expect a lot of competition. Obstacle #4: You don't know what to write in an email, and you worry about what a girl is going to feel when she reads your emails. Guys who are new to online dating often ask themselves: "What can I tell a girl about myself that will make her really interested in me?" Another question I hear a lot from older guys is, "should I explain why I'm contacting her, even though I'm out of her age range?" The answer might surprise you: tell her nothing! Don’t try to convince a girl to like you by telling her about your strengths and attributes. Don’t try to dazzle her with your personal “resume.” What you should do is convey the characteristics that generate attraction in a woman, through story telling and banter. The qualities you want to convey are:

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90 Confidence. Assume she is already attracted to you, and will definitely want to respond to your email. Don't write things like, "I hope you'll like my profile" or "or please write me back," or end your email with, "eagerly waiting your response." Assume that she is going to dig you, and the only thing left to figure out will be the logistics of your first meet. Humor. If you can make a girl laugh, you’re way ahead of most guys. I've seen girls communicating, dating and sleeping with guys who have red flags saying "DO NOT date this guy!" splattered all over them—only because they were really funny, and know how to make a woman loosen up and laugh. Now, when I say humor, I don't mean that you need to include jokes in your email. I'm talking about playful humor—teasing the girl, making light fun of her. For example, sometimes girls will accidentally email me their same first reply twice, because they clicked the “send” button twice. I’ll accuse them of being in love with me, and playfully ask them if they have any stalker tendencies. I make sure to let them know that I'm kidding, and that I'm teasing them, but of course they’ll write me back to deny it…and the correspondence is now moving ahead. Sophistication. Older men can definitely use this quality to their advantage, and to show women that they can add a lot of social value to their lives. You've been around, you know cool places to go, you do cool things, etc...this gives you a huge advantage over the younger guys, who mostly just joke around and talk about insignificant things (i.e. how wasted they got with their “bros” at the bar last night).

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Obstacle #5: Online dating is frustrating, because you're not getting any quality responses. You’re ready to give up... First, let me say that I've been there. I know what it's like to try and try, and not see any results. But there is hope for you, and this hope comes in the form of "Detachment.” Detachment from results is one of the most important things you can do when learning a new skill. This applies to learning skills with women as well, both online and offline as well. At least for a while, until you get really good at this, I want you to imagine that you’re simply playing a video game. It takes a lot of practice, and trial and error, to master most video games. But every time you don't win, you learn some more about how to beat the game or the level you’ve been stuck on. Do you break down and get emotional when something bad happens to you in a video game? No, you just hit “restart” and play it again. Hopefully, you also learn something from your mistake and try not to do it again. It's the same with online dating. If you’re going for young high-quality women, you will get ignored and shot down. You will get occasional rude responses, and you will have girls try to mess with you. You will even have girls flake out on you and not show up to dates (once you get good at this, this will happen very infrequently, but it does happen).

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92 Sometimes it will sting—like when you think things are going well, and suddenly a girl stops communicating with you. But you've gotta get back to the game, and play another round. Remember that word: DETACHMENT. If you have to print it out and stick it on your bathroom mirror, or read it out loud to yourself every day, then do it. This is really important. Obstacle #6: I’m getting girls to go on dates with me, but we always end up just being “friends.” (Her suggestion, not mine!) How do I get a girl to come home with me? Most guys think that they need some elaborate plan or scheme to get a girl to get physical with them, or come home with them after a date, but this is not true. When you suggest that she comes to your place, you need to do it in a casual way that doesn't even imply any physical contact. The best way to do it is to throw in some “anti-intimate” phrases that will make her feel a little bit confused about your intentions. The groundwork for “closing the deal” (getting intimate with her back at your pad) should be laid during the date. When you talk about a subject during the date (I always talk about my dogs), you can use that later as a way to get her over (I’ll say, "come by and see my dogs, they’d love to meet you"). But here is the critical part: you always need to add a “de-sexifier” (yes, I invented that word) to make the invite seem innocent. A good de-sexifier to tack on is, "…but you can't stay for long, because I have to get up early tomorrow.” Attractive women usually have guys beg them to come over and stay for as long as they can, but by using that line, you’re throwing Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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93 off her defense mechanism and making her feel you are different from the other guys, who are obviously hoping to get her to spend the night. Another great de-sexifier—one that should be used only if the vibe is right—is saying, "you can come over for a little while, but I'm not going to put out, so don't get your hopes up..." This is actually a sentence I stole from a girl who used it on me when I was learning this stuff. You will most likely get your arm punched, but inside, the girl is already going to be thinking of what it's like being intimate with you. In the meantime, good luck. Take the correct approach, and maintain the right attitude, and beautiful younger women are well within your grasp. There are literally millions of them online right now, as we speak—so what are you waiting for? For sample profile templates, tips, and advice on how to write killer emails that will make a girl feel attraction, visit www.onlinedatingpro.com.

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Chapter 8: Live A Rockin’ Lifestyle, Date Younger Chicks! By “Lance” www.honeyandlance.com

As a kid, Lance says he was the “prototypical skinny, Dungeons & Dragons playing nerd—totally unpopular in high school.” He then discovered sports and dedicated himself to athletics and fitness. In college, he joined the rowing team and competed successfully at the collegiate and national level. Realizing that he had a talent for leading and communicating with people, Lance then became a crew coach. He also decided to use these skills to branch out into coaching men in a different area: achieving confidence and success with women. He is the co-author of www.honeyandlance.com, a popular blog about dating, relationships, sex and life. Lance decided to get serious about improving his own skills with women after reading “The Game,” the best-selling book by Neil Strauss. It prompted him to immerse himself in learning the art of "pickup" and becoming what he calls a “social artist.” This launched him on a journey of discovery about women, dating, attraction, and the nature of being a true man in today’s world. His goal is to live a life of passion and adventure, and have deep and meaningful relationships with all those around him. You can email him at [email protected] ***** Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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If you’re a guy over the age of 40, the key to getting dates with younger women is cultivating the right lifestyle. This principle applies to dating in general, but it’s especially important if you’re going after girls 10 or more years younger than yourself. Let’s look at an example of a 40+ guy. Bill is 45, six feet tall, with average looks—a little flabby but not obese. He’s got a full head of hair, though it’s graying and thinning a bit. He’s a working professional, makes a good living, owns his own house, and drives a nice car. Bill is recently divorced and looking to meet a highly attractive, intelligent woman in her mid 20s to early 30s. He’s not against the idea of dating women his age, but he’s strongly attracted to the younger hotties out there. (I respect where he’s coming from; I would be doing the exact same thing. I’m 33 and I actively seek out and date girls in the 21 to 26 age range, because that’s what I’m most attracted to—so why settle for anything less?) A guy like Bill will typically convince himself that his age places him outside of the “ideal” search range of most younger hotties. He may believe that being divorced makes him “damaged goods” in the eyes of most never-married women. And he’s usually going to be self-conscious about his average looks and physique. What Bill needs to realize, however, is that he has powerful assets working in his favor. He’s a successful professional (perhaps even an expert in his field), and this is huge. This is going to help him tremendously, because it indicates that he’s a man of means; he has money, security, intelligence, and it would be easy to assume that he’s ambitious and confident. These are all qualities that attractive younger women are looking for.

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96 What else are younger women looking for? If she has reached her 30s and has never been married, she’s probably looking to settle down with the right guy and have kids. If she’s divorced with no kids, she may be looking to settle down again, or she may be looking to have some fun and play the field. These types of women are usually open to dating an older guy. Or, if she’s single and has kids, she may be open to a casual sexual relationship because she doesn’t have a lot of time for a serious relationship, and would rather not introduce a new “boyfriend” to her kids at this time. My point is that there are a variety of categories when you’re talking about younger women, and a multitude of reasons why they may be looking to date, or just have fun with, an older guy.

Lifestyle Now, back to my original premise: having the right lifestyle will attract younger women. Lifestyle encompasses a bunch of stuff, so let’s break it down: Fitness and looks. Having average looks doesn’t help, but it doesn’t hurt you either. Women are funny in that they’ll be immediately attracted to a hot guy, but they’ll be more deeply attracted to man with high social value. A lot of girls will even say they don’t care about looks—they care more about intelligence, personality, and confidence. If you’re a mature, independent professional, you’ve got a huge head start! Stack the deck even further by improving your fitness and looks. If you’re out of shape and carrying an extra 20-30 pounds (or more), get a gym membership and work out daily. Don’t just do it because you want to get chicks—do it because you’ll feel and look better, and because you’ll be healthier and live a longer life. In my opinion, there is zero excuse for not being fit, no matter your age. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Even if you’re lugging the spare tire but making an effort to get toned, people will take notice. Co-workers will ask, “have you lost weight?” and chicks will dig on you more. It’s an amazing feeling and it will encourage you to keep hitting the gym. Go even further and play sports. Did you play soccer or basketball back in high school or college? How about running or cycling? Get back into it, train for an event, and enjoy the fitness benefits. Consider picking up a “cool” new sport like snowboarding or surfing. Make sure to get some sun. A tan goes a long way towards improving your disposition. A 45-year old guy who’s fit and tanned suddenly looks like he’s 35. He’s also the handsome, sexy gentleman, as opposed to the middle-aged fatso. Get a cool haircut. This falls under the looks category, but it’s so important that I want to break it out as a separate item. DO NOT go through life with a lame, “older guy” haircut. The last thing you want is to look like a sad sack insurance salesman. If you have a full head of hair, grow it out a bit, go to an upscale stylist, and tell them you want a cool cut. Let them go to town. One great tip is to find a gay male stylist, because they give the best cuts. I always advise to keep your hair its natural color (i.e. graying) because chicks think it’s dignified and sexy, and often times a dye job looks unnatural and is an obvious attempt to conceal your true age. Are you balding or almost bald? If so, consider going clean-shaven if you have the right skull and body shape. Generally this looks great on leaner guys, but it can certainly work with the bigger guys if you have the right skull shape. You might try rocking the Mr. Clean look with a well-groomed goatee. If you’re not sure what a cool cut for a 45-year old guy looks like, watch practically any television show and note the popular actors in your age range to Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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98 get some idea. There are actors who have very little hair, but they style and groom themselves immaculately. Elevate Your Style. Just like having a cool haircut, you want to dress well and wear stylish, fitted clothes. If you’re a kick-ass professional dude, wear killer suits, take pictures of yourself in your good threads, and put them online. Every guy should have a look, part of which is based on your body shape and facial structure, but also based on your attitude. If you’re a VP of a company, wear the nice suits, but also get laid-back clothes like quality jeans, t-shirts, and button downs. If you’re able to invest some money in your appearance—and this is one investment that always pays big dividends—don’t be afraid to completely update your wardrobe. You’re going after younger hotties, so you have to play the game at their level. Just make sure your style and look need to be congruent with your personality and your body shape. (If you’re a pudgy executive, it’s not going to work if you dress like a rock star.) If you try a look that doesn’t fit with your real personality, you’ll be sniffed out immediately as a fake. If you’re doing the online dating thing, a great strategy is to put pictures of yourself in those killer suits, next to the ones of you hiking or kayaking in Colorado, next to the ones of you out for drinks with your friends and having fun. You’re painting a picture of a complete lifestyle and showing yourself as a fully realized, fun and successful guy. This will give you an edge on the competition. Travel & Adventure. Older men generally have the means to travel at least once in a while, and travel means worldliness and adventure. This is very attractive, and it’s one of the top things younger women are looking for. If you haven’t done any traveling at your age, you’re way behind the curve and you need to start taking trips immediately. Explore the US, go to Vegas, go to NYC. Check out some of the amazing parks. Explore. Then plan some trips overseas—Europe, the Caribbean and Southeast Asia. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Take tons of pictures and put them online. You want to project yourself as an adventurer, a man of the world, a guy who is cultured and experienced. Not only is this good for your soul, but it gives you tons of stuff to talk about on dates. That young hottie you meet on a date has likely been to London and France, or maybe spent a summer backpacking around some foreign circuit, and you’re going to get major points for connecting with her on that level. A well-traveled man is attractive to women. Passions and Hobbies. Besides work, what else do you have going for you? What are you really passionate about? Women want to know. It could be cars, motorcycles, surfing, writing, triathlons, diving, camping, traveling— whatever. Have passions and live those passions. Passionate men are exceptionally attractive, and women will always ask about what you do on the weekends. I always emphasize the personal projects I work on after hours, because those define me better than my day job. Music. Music is a smaller detail, but it’s something that can connect you wonderfully with younger women. If she’s a decade younger than you, she’s going to listen to different music. Are you familiar with Chevelle, Coldplay, Incubus, Jay Z, Blink 182, John Mayer, Beastie Boys, Tupac, Tool, or Jack Johnson? If not, spend some time listening to the popular artists of the moment and become familiar with them. Even if you hate Tool, watch some of their videos on Youtube and form an opinion. Then find some tunes you do like and get into it. (You might be surprised by how much you like some of the new stuff.) Music comes up all the time in conversation with women, and on dates, and it will be challenging for her to relate to you if the only bands you talk about are Led Zeppelin, Dylan, and the Stones. Good musical taste marks you as a cool guy who’s “with it.” If you’re with it, the younger girls will begin to see you as a prospect. Combine this with your fitness, cool haircut, and killer threads, and you’ve got a winning combination. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Important tip #1: It’s extremely important to establish common ground with a younger woman. One of the big mistakes older guys make is that they don’t take the time to connect with her on her level. A 27-year-old woman is having a different life experience than a 45-year-old guy, but if she’s reasonably intelligent and sophisticated, there will always be subjects you can discuss with equal enthusiasm. It’s up to you to find, and embrace, the commonalities. Some of the ways are through passions, hobbies, travel stories, and music. Once you’ve established common ground, your age becomes irrelevant because you’re relating to each other. Important tip #2: Even if you’re 45, you don’t have to act like a middleaged man, or fulfill any of those stereotypes. Much of being successful with younger women is your attitude. You want to be youthful and project youthful qualities: enthusiasm, fun, passion, excitement about what’s on your horizon. At the same time, you want to emphasize all the good qualities that an older guy possesses—such as maturity, high emotional intelligence, worldliness, and an overall sense of security and stability. When it comes to upgrading your lifestyle, it’s an ongoing process. You’re not going to achieve it by next week. If you’re significantly overweight, it’s going to take a year or more of gym work to really get fit. Same thing if you’ve never traveled. This is a journey, so be patient and have fun. Now that we’ve covered lifestyle, how do you actually meet the younger babes? I’m going to suggest a two-pronged attack. (As for the specific mechanics of approaching, conversing, etc., you’ll find that elsewhere in this book.)

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Where To Meet The Women For guys who are easing back into the game after ending a long-term relationship, I recommend online dating as a great starting point. Try setting up an account on match.com, yahoo personals, and craigslist (free). If you’re just trying to get laid, you might try adultfriender.com. Remember what I said earlier about having pictures of you in a wide variety of contexts? Now is the time to use them. Write an interesting profile and upload those awesome pictures. (Be sure to proofread your profile carefully before you activate it; if you’re not the greatest with spelling and grammar, have it looked over by a friend who has some writing ability. First impressions are huge, and no one is impressed by a profile that’s riddled with grammatical errors.) Email all of the attractive women in your search range and see where it takes you. Don’t be surprised if you only get a few replies, or none at all, at first. You need to keep hacking away at it. The reality of online dating is that there are 2-3 times as many guys online as women, and the gals are wading through dozens, sometimes hundreds, of emails. It’s similar to regular dating, to be quite honest. I also highly recommend that you get out of the house and go to bars and clubs, even if you haven’t been in years, or you dislike those venues. Women in your target range frequent these places, and that means you need to go where they are. If you aren’t comfortable talking to a woman in a bar, why would she want to go on a date with you? She’s in the bar. You should be there, too. Go talk to her. To make it easier, I recommend going with friends to the higher-end bars. You know the upscale Irish bar that every sizeable town has? Or the wine bar? Or the martini bar? Go to those places. Yes, you can go to the crazy, booty shaking clubs also, but start with the venues that are closer to your vibe. I also

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102 recommend going on a night when it’s crowded and people are standing everywhere, since this makes it easier to spark up conversations with strangers. Here’s another tip: go with married friends or couples. Having women in your group, regardless of whether they’re with their boyfriends or husbands, gives you “social proof” in the environment. (Essentially, any woman in your group is “vouching” for you as a cool person, in the eyes of all the other women in the room.) You can even use your buddy’s girlfriend or wife as your “wing-women.” It can be a lot of fun. Or, have your platonic female friends introduce you to attractive women. (Women love to play “match maker” for a friend.) Remember, this is a process that begins today, but will take some time— and trial and error—to perfect. There is no magic bullet to bag a younger gal. You’re going to get blown off by some, but you’ll also have some fun, encouraging interactions—and if keep at it, you’ll start getting phone numbers and lining up dates. Maintain a healthy perspective about the process: have fun first and foremost, and try to get dates second. Good luck—and here’s to you scoring a younger babe, the type your buddies wish they could have a shot at!

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Chapter 9: Reprogramming Your Mindset & Being the Man She Wants By Dean Cortez According to Napoleon Hill, the author of classic motivational books such as How To Win Friends and Influence People, we’re pretty much “programmed” by the time we reach the age of 15. This means as we grow into adulthood, we’re stuck with many of the same beliefs and behaviors that we developed as children. Many of these beliefs and behaviors are negative, and hold us back from achieving our full potential. For most people, this “conditioning” remains fixed for the remainder of their lives. This is especially true in regards to how we view our prospects with women, and how we think women view us. The typical young man develops a whole range of damaging beliefs in these areas. He may come to believe that he’s physically unattractive, or not quite attractive enough to date exceptionally good-looking women. And so, he goes through life dating and marrying women that he believes are “within his range.” He wouldn’t want to overstep his “boundaries” and go for a gorgeous, intelligent, first-class hottie, because he is programmed to believe it would be impossible. He’d only be setting himself up for humiliation and rejection (or so he tells himself). Maybe in high school, he wasn’t a member of the “cool crowd.” He worked up the nerve to ask a cute girl to the prom, but she dissed him. This same guy, 20 years later, still considers himself to be “uncool” and is wracked with anxiety at the mere thought of approaching and talking to women. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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104 These beliefs will always remain unless you make a conscious effort to reprogram yourself and shed them. This can be done at any age. It becomes a bit more difficult as we grow older, since we’ve spent so many years trapped in the same patterns and beliefs—but it absolutely can be done. A large part of becoming successful with younger women is making the effort to transform your beliefs about women, and how they perceive you, because much of what you currently believe is simply not true. And this is probably holding you back more than you realize. One of the top limiting beliefs among men is that women—especially the really hot ones—are only interested in men with a lot of money. Now here’s what you need to realize. It’s not the money itself that women are powerfully attracted to. It’s the qualities that highly successful men tend to possess. They are often confident, decisive, independent thinkers. They are talented, passionate and ambitious. Their wealth is a byproduct of these super-attractive qualities. Money alone will not keep a woman interested over the long-term. If a man has money but does not possess those attractive Alpha Male qualities, women will lose interest in him. Just look at all of the wealthy men who have thriving careers, but can’t maintain healthy relationships and have suffered through multiple divorces. I believe that in most of these cases, it’s the woman who loses interest in him, and this brings about the downfall of the relationship. Over the years, she loses the “sweetness” that he fell in love with, and becomes cold and hostile. She constantly henpecks and nags him. This is a natural response when a woman feels dissatisfied by her partner’s lack of Alpha Male qualities. Subconsciously, she wishes he would show a backbone and demonstrate the Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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105 strength that she needs to feel safe and secure. He might be a wizard at making money, but if he’s a “wuss” in the relationship and doesn’t know how to handle her emotional needs, she’s going to get awfully tired of him. This can be especially true when it comes to younger women. If she’s 25 years old, she’s still sorting out a lot of things in her head. She hasn’t reached your stable position in life. She might be anxious about whether she’s on the right career path. Her friends are getting married and having children; she’s wondering if, and when, she’s going to go down that road. Now I’m going to explain how to handle the emotional needs of younger women and be the MAN she’ll want to stick with. Handling Her Emotional Needs One of the fundamental (and most challenging) differences between the sexes is that men are driven by logic, while women are fueled by emotion. Understanding this, and how to overcome it, will make you much more successful in your quest to date younger women—and to maintain these relationships over the long term. As men, when we’re confronted with a problem, we seek to create a solution and solve it as quickly as possible. We take large problems and attempt to make them small. Women, on the other hand, have a tendency to take small problems and blow them up to larger proportions. They react to minor problems by getting emotional, and “turning molehills into mountains.” If you’re going to date younger women, you’re going to experience this. And you’ve got to know the correct way to deal with it. When your younger girlfriend gets emotional and dramatic over something that you view as fairly unimportant, you basically have two options: Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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106 • Tell her to calm down—she’s being silly and making a big deal over nothing. • Listen and express empathy (even if you feel she’s totally blowing things out of proportion). Be her emotional “rock” who is calm, steady and nonjudgmental. Trust me: the first option is only going to make things worse, and cause her to lose respect for you. Option #2 is the way to go. Let’s look at an example. Your girlfriend, who works as a waitress, comes over to your house. You’ve cooked dinner (lasagna, your specialty) and you’re planning a relaxing, romantic evening together. But when she shows up, she’s in a pissy mood. She starts complaining... HER: I’m so sick of my goddamn job. Lisa, the other waitress, is such a bitch. She didn’t show up today, so I had to cover her tables. I’m doing the job of two people, and my boss is always giving me a hard time… YOU: That’s why I keep telling you, you need to find a better job. HER: I can’t just quit! How am I supposed to pay my bills? How am I supposed to make my car payments? YOU: You never should have bought that car in the first place. You can’t afford it. HER: But I love that car! YOU: I’m just saying, you’ve got to be more responsible with your money – HER: I don’t need a lecture from you right now! YOU: And I don’t want to hear you complain about your stupid job! I had a shitty day, too, and I had to race home to cook dinner…

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107 HER: You don’t even care, do you? You can be such an asshole sometimes… YOU: You’re being ridiculous! (The argument escalates, and ends with her storming out and slamming the door.) Now let’s look at how the emotionally strong, mature man deals with the situation: HER: I’m sick and tired of my job. I had to cover for Lisa again. I’m doing the job of two people, and my boss is always giving me a hard time… YOU: Sounds like you had a rough day. I’m sorry to hear that, babe. HER: It was awful. And I had this customer who was so rude… YOU: Come here, honey. (You hug her, give her a little shoulder massage.) Why don’t you relax on the couch and tell me about it. Dinner’s almost ready; I’ll get you a glass of wine. (She sits down, has some wine, complains a bit more...and then runs out of steam and starts to relax.) YOU: Well, I can totally understand why you feel that way. I think my lasagna is going to cheer you up… HER: Sounds good, hun. So anyway…how was your day? (…and there you have it. Argument avoided. Her emotional outburst has been defused. Fast-forward two hours and a few more glasses of wine, and they’re having hot sex on the couch.) There is a proper time and place for talking to her about changing jobs (to use the example above), and providing her with thoughtful, constructive advice. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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108 She’ll need these things from you, too, and she’ll want this advice and guidance if you’re an older guy who is wiser about the ways of the world. But never sound like you’re dismissing her problems as insignificant, and don’t attempt to give advice when she’s in a highly emotional state. Just provide comfort. Soothe her. Let her calm down on her own. Accept these moments as par for the course, especially when you’re dating a younger woman. (I do need to mention, if you find yourself involved with a “drama queen” who is having these outbursts on a daily basis, I suggest you kick her to the curb. Occasional mood swings are to be expected.) As men, it’s impossible for us to fully understand the emotional swings of women—especially the younger ones. You can’t rationalize them. What you can do is learn to master these situations and be the “rock” she needs. (Imagine her emotions as turbulent waves. You are the shoreline which those waves crash against...and as long as you stand firm, the waves will always subside eventually.) Whether you’ve been dating her for two weeks, or you’ve been married to her for five years, she’ll always have a subconscious need to test you from time to time. Her moments of “drama” are all about seeking reassurance—that you are the rock she needs to feel safe and secure. Women also seek reassurance through jealousy. I’ve dated some incredibly jealous women (and eventually broke up with them due to it). But along the way, I came to understand how to deal with it. They’ll test you this way, and they’ll be sneaky. They’ll ask an innocentsounding question that is actually an accusation, intended to make you reveal more information than you should. Never fight fire with fire. Never try to explain yourself out of a silly Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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109 accusation. And never dismiss her jealous feelings as if they’re petty and ridiculous. (Which they usually are, but that type of response from you only adds fuel to the fire.) Just maintain your cool and deflect it—as if cheating on her, or flirting with another woman, never even OCCURRED to you. Here is an example of an actual conversation I had with a 21-year-old former girlfriend of mine. I had gone out to a bar with some buddies of mine the night before. (Whenever I date a woman, I make it clear to her up-front that I enjoy having a “guy’s night out” sometimes, and this is not something I’m willing to give up for the sake of a relationship.) Most girls I’ve dated have absolutely no problem with me going out with the boys. They don’t bust my balls about it, and I don’t give them a hard time if they ever want to spend time with their girlfriends. But this particular girlfriend, after a few months of dating, was starting to have issues if I went out without her—and now she was going to “test” me. Women are notorious for this. They’ll ask you something that sounds harmless, but it’s actually a “baiting question” designed to make you reveal more information than she should—which will then give her the go-ahead to drag you into an argument. First, I’ll show you the wrong way to handle it: HER: So, did you have fun with your friends at the bar last night? ME: Yeah, it was okay. HER: I’m sure there were a lot of beautiful girls there. Did you talk to any? ME: (sarcastic) Yeah, I was hitting on girls all night and I got a bunch of phone numbers. No, I didn’t talk to any girls. And if I did, so what? What’s wrong with Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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110 having a friendly conversation with someone at a bar? HER: Look, I know how men are. If you ever cheat on me, just tell me, okay? I just want you to be honest. ME: I’m not cheating on you! Why are you so damn insecure? (And the argument escalates…) Now, here’s the proper way to handle it: be completely calm and don’t take the bait. HER: So how was last night? Did you talk to any girls? ME: I was busy talking to my friend John. He needed my advice on some business stuff. So what did you end up doing last night? (Change the subject…as if talking to other girls last night at the bar never even occurred to you.) The bottom line is that women, in general, are needy. They crave reassurance. I don’t care if you’re dating a 40-year-old CEO or a 22-year-old stripper; the underlying programming is the same. They are jealous. They will get emotional (and at times, completely illogical), and they’ll test you to get confirmation that you’re the MAN they need—not a weak, emotional, overly sensitive wimp who makes her question the relationship and your ability to make her feel secure.

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Chapter 10: Modern Courtship for Mature Men by Dimitri Vorontzov Dimitri Vorontzov was born in Moscow and spent childhood and adolescence in Siberia. He was educated as a composer, church organist, and orchestra conductor, taught music in college, and learned to fly airplanes with Russian Air Force. After Dimitri moved to US, he worked several years in a story department of a film production company, and taught advanced motorcycle riding. These days, Dimitri runs a multi-profile corporation and gives private instruction in courtship to selected students. So what’s the best way to pick up and date a younger woman, when you’re a guy over the age of 40? Off the top of my head, I’m tempted to dismiss the question. In a sense, it’s like asking, “what’s the best way to drive when you’re over 40?” This is because I believe that fundamentally, dating younger women does not require a different set of skills once you’re of a certain age. I also believe that the skills of modern pickup and dating are so fundamentally simple that it only takes slightly more effort and practice to activate these skills than it takes to become, say, a grandmaster in the art of brushing one’s teeth. I am certain that when we are dealing with something as basic as pickup, a man’s age presents a relatively irrelevant contributing factor. I’m going to address the simplicity of pick-up and dating in a moment. But first, let’s discuss the notion of being an “older man.” I am strongly against any self-categorizing. Being an “older man” is in most cases a self-assigned label—a useless attempt to define oneself by belonging Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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112 to a certain group. It’s self-imposed imprisonment. When a man says, “I am this” (“I” = “this”), he negates his ability to change, and he kills his own ability to be spontaneous and grow. I find this approach to be strategically harmful, as well as false. I know from experience that human beings can, and should, be fluid. I also know it’s possible for me to describe the best dating tactics for all men over forty. But perhaps that’s not even necessary. What I prefer to do is speak to just one man. The one who is reading these words now. YOU. I’m not interested in trying to save the entire generation of “older men.” Let’s leave them to their own means. They’ll take care of themselves. (Or they won’t; it’s up to them.) What we need to do is to create an exception. I want you to become that exception. Now I’m going to keep my promise and explain why I find pickup and dating so simple. During my career as a “hitch,” acting as a wingman to guys in need of dating help, I’ve come to recognize a few simple, obligatory Tasks that a man has to accomplish in order to pick up a woman. Each Task is accomplished via a corresponding simple and effective Action.

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113 The Task/Action combo forms a Tactic. The sequence of Tactics is the Algorithm. Now, here’s the sample Algorithm for a typical daytime pick-up (Task/Action): 1) Choose a woman / Observe 2) Approach / Walk up to her 3) Engage / “Excuse me 4) Start the dialog / “I can see you’re reading about interior design. So besides that, what else are you into?” 5) Gather intel / “I’m hanging out here by myself; what about you?” 6) Expand the dialog / “Now you’ve made me curious. I want to find out more about you…” 7) Move locations / “Let’s get some coffee over there, and chat a bit more.” 8) Touch / Place your arm around her waist to direct her to the coffee shop (or if in a bookstore, the coffee area) 9) Express interest (“Your sense of humor turns me on”) / Get contact info (“So what’s the best way to get in touch with you?”) 10) Activate contact info / Call, send a text message, or email her within 30 minutes after you left, if possible. If every Task is accomplished, a successful pickup has taken place.

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114 Now obviously, every woman is unique; every situation is unique; and women in various situations will display a unique set of reactions. But I hope you won’t deny that if you don’t request her contact info, you are not likely to see that woman again. That makes requesting her contact info an obligatory Task. And, of course, you have to approach a woman and engage her, if you want her to know that you exist. This makes Approach and Engage other obligatory Tasks…and so on. (I admit there might be exceptions; for example, she might be a trainer at your gym and you see her regularly anyway; or, she is the one who approaches and engages you. Such situations make the pickup even simpler.) It’s axiomatic that a man in his forties can say, “I’d like to find out more about you” and “What’s the best way to get in touch with you?” as easily as a man in his early twenties. For the older man, articulating these kinds of words does not present any greater challenge of such magnitude. Let’s have no argument about that. With some aspects of pickup, I believe there are no “advanced techniques.” From my perspective, there are only two things to remember about body language. There are only four really important techniques for verbal improvisation (and only about a dozen of easy and fun secondary skills). There’s only so much to learn about grooming and style. There’s only one condition you want to be in physically: fit. Age has little to do with any of these things. I could have also added that mature, experienced, accomplished men tend to have an aura that makes them “walking aphrodisiacs” in the eyes of a great many young, gorgeous women—but this is something you’ve probably figured out already.

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115 But I don’t want to oversimplify the matter, or come across as unrealistically positive by just telling you, “you can do it!” There are indeed some challenges, which we must address. Working regularly with students in their forties, fifties, and beyond, I’ve learned to recognize a few archetypal mindsets among men who wrongly define themselves by their belonging to a certain age group. I want you to take a look at the archetypes below, and see if you recognize any of their traits in your own personality and attitude. If you notice anything familiar, I want you to seriously consider how these qualities have been holding you back in your pursuit of women—and why it might be a good idea, and a perfect time, to shed this baggage. ***

Archetype One: “The 40 Year-Old Virgin” This type of guy doesn’t necessarily need to be a virgin in the strict, sexual sense. By “virgin” I might also mean a guy who has managed to have a lot of stuff in his life handled well: he might have a great career, education, health, and spirituality, and yet he hasn’t dated much since college. Or, he might have been married for decades and recently divorced. Perhaps his career kept him too occupied. One way or another, he’s reached a mature stage in his life in certain respects, but when it comes to dating/seducing women, he knows less than most men who are 10 or even 20 years younger than he is. The greatest challenge for such “late beginner” lies in the sense of embarrassment of being a beginner at his age. But you’ve got to approach the process of learning pickup the way you would any other skill, such as learning to play a musical instrument; you set aside some time each day to learn and practice. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Archetype Two: “The Giver-Upper” We all know guys who have a mundane daily routine—working, eating, sleeping, running chores, going through the paces—and slouching through it all, with little to look forward to or get excited about? Like any of us, this guy had great dreams once, and had talents to match those dreams—but at some point he gave up hope, and began to lose interest in life, and in himself? Whatever it is that brings happiness and enthusiasm to the lives of other men, he figures it has passed him by—it’s simply “too late” for him to experience those things. And yet there is something still alive in that man’s soul, which makes him crave the companionship of a woman. He believes the right relationship would make him happy. Neurotic perfectionism is likely to be at the core of such a self-defeating attitude. This guy expects “all” or “nothing” of himself. Since “all” would not be plausible for anyone, he settles for “nothing.” He’s facing a tough task of accepting and surviving his imperfection—he can’t find a way to emerge from the cloud of denial he has enveloped himself in, and improve his situation and sense of self-worth. All of the greatest things any of the greatest human beings ever achieved have the ordinary at their core. Embrace the ordinary: the brilliant people who make Apple computers are not as perfect as their product (and it’s not that perfect, either); Beethoven’s music is almost supernatural in its beauty, but the guy who composed those symphonies and quartets was just as imperfect in his humanity as any of us. Join a gym. Free some time to do things you always dreamed of doing. Dare to be ordinary – and yet dare to be as great as your dreams are. Wake up. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Archetype Three: “The Brainwashed” This one is the toughest cookie. He defines reality by what he watches on TV, or reads in men’s magazines. He overlooks great women whose love would make any man proud, just because he believes that a man of his stature must date women with “model” looks. His self-respect is based on the value of labels attached to things he owns, drives, wears, eats, or drinks. He finds safety in the brand. A woman is no more than a status symbol for him, even though he would deny it in public for the sake of political correctness. Fear of reality drives this man. His case may be the most challenging, because he is not aware of his fear. This man has to slow down and face the fear. This is the only way for him to meet a woman he would actually be happy with. Otherwise, he is bound to always take the wrong turn at the road fork of his destiny.

Archetype Four: “The Scattered Self-Improver” I can’t help liking this guy. He’s ambitious and is always juggling a few different projects. He’s always learning new things and works out almost every day. He might sing karaoke, study martial arts, attend motivational seminars, volunteer for good causes, learn different languages, and train his dog to do tricks. In his free time, he might create 3-D animations, or build a boat. Have I forgotten anything? Oh, yes. He also likes to think of himself as a “pickup artist.” This guy appears to have an interesting, rich life. The challenge lies in his inherent superficiality. The reason, strangely enough, is the same as with the previous archetype: fear of reality. The difference is that while the Brainwashed guy is hindered by what society and the media tell him is the “best,” the Scattered Self-Improver is constantly trying to distract himself. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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He goes out on a lot of first dates. He rarely gets a second date: he seems to lose interest in that woman, or he can’t find time to see her again, or (more often than not) she finds his lifestyle overwhelming and feels intimidated by his well-rounded greatness. Even when he gets to have a relationship with a woman, it hardly lasts longer than a few weeks. A solution? Tone it down. Less is more. We cannot be all things at once. Sacrifice the numbers for the sake of depth. Make choices. *** Over the last few years, I’ve worked with hundreds of men on improving— and in many cases, radically transforming—their romantic lives. At least a half of these men were born in the 1960s or earlier. I measure the success of what I do by what my students consider their personal breakthroughs. I’m proud to say that my success rate, when it comes to helping men achieve a greater level of success with women, is over 90 percent. I never expect to have absolute success in all cases: I know how life works and do not suffer from obsessive perfectionism. I’m pleased with the somewhat imperfect consistency of the results of my teaching. So before I wrap up this chapter, let me share with you a few successful case studies (since I get to choose whom I tell you about, I guess I will just brag about the most interesting ones). The names of the characters in these stories, and certain personal details, are changed for the sake of their privacy. Gene, a resident of London and a professional magazine editor, recently came to visit me in New York. He was a 57-year-old widower and a father of three adult children. We spent five days together—a period of intensive training, during which I got Gene to observe me in action as I approached dozens of women in Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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119 bookstores, museums, shopping centers, coffee houses, parks, and in the streets. After that, it was Gene’s turn to show me what he can do. Most of the women Gene met during those days were considerably younger than he was. Gene was painfully shy during the first couple of days, and we shared a few dramatic moments when our teacher/student relationship was tested by fire and ice. Eventually, he managed to open up, and after the third day of training on things began to go much better for him. In the beginning, he learned to approach women and open conversations with the simplest “excuse me.” By the end of his training with me he could consistently get phone numbers, using the elegant, hard-to refuse tactic: “I’d like you to have my phone number… and I want yours, of course”. Gene sent a gentlemanly text message “I’m glad I met you” to each of the women whose numbers he got, invited the ones who responded to meet him later on the same day, went out with one of the youngest of those women, ended up making out in her place, and was an hour late for our final night training session in a bar. Today, several months after Gene and I met, he is dating a woman in her thirties—a journalist like himself. From what I understand, Gene is not planning to marry her, and yet he speaks of her as a hopefully permanent romantic partner. Another example would be Robert, 46 years old and African American, who lives in Chicago and works in the medical field. The challenge he faced was of a different sort: he was dating a very attractive woman in her early twenties, and yet he suffered from a nagging sense that he didn’t deserve to be with someone like her. My work with Robert began to feel closer to that of a therapist than a courtship instructor—but I don’t really do therapy, so instead I chose to address

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120 my new friend’s self-doubts by “reconnecting” him with womankind through field practice. Robert and I spent a couple of days chatting with every attractive young woman we could find in Chicago, in every place we could think of: bookstores, shopping malls, coffee houses, a bus terminal, even inside a Catholic temple. I enjoyed seeing young women attracted to Robert wherever we went, and noticed how he began to blossom in the awareness of his masculine charm. Robert had no approach anxiety and was a naturally great communicator. In the Art Institute of Chicago he approached an attractive young blonde, started a conversation about a surrealist painting she was observing, and ended up cruising the museum with her, his arm around her waist. To match him, I found a girl for myself. Each time Robert and I passed each other with our beautiful companions, we exchanged conspiratorial nods or winks... until the girls figured us out and started laughing. Then we made the introduction. The four of us had dinner together, and agreed to meet again later. After that, Robert and I discussed the events of the last two days, sharing a six-pack of Guinness in my hotel room. Robert told me that he began to see women’s ready interest in him as something to be expected. My job was pretty much done. We ended up celebrating on a Saturday night in a bar on top of Water Tower. The girls from the Art Institute were there with us. My final example is Andrew, 41, a software engineer of Japanese descent from Toronto. He’s one of my favorite students, because he had a number of significant challenges to overcome—yet he was determined to keep working on himself until he had achieved a new lifestyle, image, pattern of behaviors, and a new self-perception. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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It took a while. When Andrew and I first met, he was overweight, slouching, and dreadfully dressed—with non-existent conversational skills, a high-pitched voice, a gloomy disposition, and a terribly negative belief that “Asian men don’t get many chicks.” He had a great talent for triggering instant resistance in every woman he tried to approach. By this point, he was pretty desperate. He hated his job, his apartment, and his body. It was obvious to me that the guy was not ready to get to the actual dating—he had to take certain measures first, to prepare himself. Before I began actually teaching him, I sent him back home with a few bits of advice: to throw away the coat that gave his shoulders sloping rounded shape, and to get instead a classic jacket that would underline the angular look a man’s shoulders must have; to get rid of the pleated corporate khaki pants he was wearing, and spend a couple hundred dollars on decent jeans. For the full measure, I threw in the mandate to get in shape and stand up straight. When Andrew came back three months later, he was twenty pounds lighter (a result of a karate class he signed up for), and stood two inches taller thanks to his improved posture. He was dressed more stylishly, as well. Yes, these were definite improvements. We spent a day working on the way he moved. We didn’t approach a single woman that day; that part of the process would come later. After he returned to Toronto, we started our weekly Yahoo Messenger sessions and over the next four months I taught him conversational skills. We started with the basics that Andrew confessed made him feel back in the elementary school again: we had to do it, because in Andrew’s speech even simple concise statements and elementary questions needed to be cleaned up. We progressed through complex statements to my favorite simple and fun-to-learn verbal improvisation skills like 4-corner flirting, compliments and teasing,

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122 dynamic statement of intent, topical and emotional pivoting, free association, and eliciting erotic fantasies, and a few others. Over time, Andrew developed the necessary “conversational comfort zone” he needed to feel confident enough to approach women. He came back to New York again, and that’s when we finally began to test his skills in the field. I am very happy to say that Andrew has turned out to become an even greater ladies man than yours truly. He found a much better job, and he’s taking voice lessons. When I met him again a few weeks ago, he radiated confidence and charm. He ended up getting back together with his ex-girlfriend, and the two of them are much tighter than before. If you’d like to find out for yourself what it’s like to be on the receiving end of my teaching methods, please go ahead and explore my website: www.ModernCourtship.com The best way to get in touch with me directly is via email: [email protected].

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Chapter 11: The Importance of Originality By Dean Cortez Enjoying massive success with younger women begins with what I call the “180 Rule.” What this means, basically, is that you’ve got to start doing the opposite of what most men do when they interact with women. You want to take your game in a completely opposite direction. This is because the worst thing you can do, when you’re out there meeting women, is to be predictable. When you approach or converse with a woman in an unoriginal, predictable way, she’s going to mentally lump you in with the last 47 guys who walked up to her, or offered to buy her a drink, or made some annoying attempt to get her phone number. Keep this question in mind: when you talk to women, are you giving them reasons to say “yes” to you? Are you motivating them towards getting to know you, handing over their phone number, or going back to your place? Or, are you being unoriginal and giving them reasons to say “no?” Think of yourself as guy #48…and remember, the last 47 got shot down because they didn’t strike her as being anything different. Some of those 47 guys were tall; others were short. Some were her age. Some were older. Some were strikingly handsome; others reminded her of her creepy high school math teacher. But she wound up shooting down all of them because she didn’t perceive any value in them, and she didn’t sense any challenge. They all wanted her! That much was obvious. They would have gladly paid for her drinks all night, if she would do them the honor of keeping them company. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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124 But there was nothing interesting about them. They were a drain on her energy, and her patience. The moment these guys started talking, her female “radar” was picking up on red flags. So what if he was tall, or rich, or bore a strong resemblance to Johnny Depp—he was lame and predictable. After five minutes of dead-end conversation, she was already glancing around the room trying to come up with an excuse to extract herself. Remember that women are conditioned to say “no” to men. This is a natural defense mechanism. Attractive women are approached and propositioned by men constantly. They don’t say “no” just to spare themselves from endless, lame conversations—there’s also an evolutionary reason behind it. Let’s face it. What does every one of these guys want from her? Sex. This is why we approach women and start conversations. And as men, theoretically, we could sleep with an endless number of women and never face any consequences. For women, however, there is always the chance that they will get pregnant. If she lowers her shield and gets intimate with the wrong guy, she could very easily wind up a single mother, raising a genetically weak child. And as a single mother, her chances of “winning the game”—meeting and marrying a successful, attractive man who makes her feel secure—are significantly diminished. She got screwed—literally. So, not to get overly analytical, but just remember that younger women are looking for reasons to blow you off rather than lowering their defenses and allowing you into their world. You’ve got to give her reasons to say “yes.” YES, it’s great to meet you and I want to know more about you. YES, I’d love to give you my phone number. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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125 YES, I am free on Friday night for dinner. YES, let’s go back to your place and open that bottle of wine. So what’s the key to putting her in the “yes” mindset? Let’s begin with the #1 mistake that men make with women: broadcasting their interest. In other words, he lets her know, right off the bat, that he’s attracted to her and would LOVE to get with her, if she decides that he is worthy. This immediately puts him in a position of weakness instead of a position of strength. Here are some of the ways that guys broadcast their interest: • Telling her how beautiful she is • Using an obvious “pickup line” • Offering to buy her a drink right away • Talking too much about himself, in an attempt to impress her • Monopolizing her time and space (once the conversation begins, he’ll try to engage her for as long as possible until she has to politely excuse herself) • Being jealous or possessive; feeling threatened by other men in the environment The skilled seducer, on the other hand, understands how to challenge women and frame himself as the “prize” that she needs to win. He talks very little about himself. When she asks him questions (such as “what do you do for a living?”), he responds with a playful joke, or alludes to what he does in vague terms. He has no need to impress her. She is the one who is going to need to be impressive, because YOU are a man of wisdom and experience, with many options.

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126 Project this to women, and they’ll express their interest in you. They’ll show it in small ways – a brief touch, a flirtatious smile, a comment like “you’re cute” or “so are you this smooth with all the girls you meet?” The key is to not take the bait. If she says or does something that seems to indicate her interest in you, ignore it. Stick with your game. Her indication of interest is not a license for you to drop your guard and broadcast your interest. If anything, you’ve got to play it more cool. HER: “You’re so interesting. I feel like you and me really click.’” YOU: “I hear that a lot from women.” HER: “You’re probably a player, huh? Popular with the ladies?” YOU: ‘Women like me, and I love women. So it all works out.” HER: “I like you.” YOU: “Yeah, I can tell.” Let's say that you're out with a woman, and the conversation has been going great. You’ve been controlling the flow of the conversation and building a bond with her. You say something funny and touch her on the knee. She puts her hand on yours. She looks into your eyes, and smiles... So now the two of you are holding hands, and it’s obvious she’s attracted to you. At this point, the typical guy will think “this girl is into me,” and will start acting differently. His inner Wuss will emerge. He’ll start being super-nice and polite and allow the conversation to drift onto the wrong topics. (Such as talking about Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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127 “exes,” and past relationships, and his own personal problems...WEAK areas that should be avoided) He’s trying extra hard not to “blow it.” He figures if he can just be super nice and polite and not say anything stupid, surely he’ll get her back to his place… Because he’s received approval from her, and has proof that she likes him, he figures, “I don’t need to keep applying my skills at this point. This one’s in the bag. I can just be myself now.” The problem is, this means reverting back to being the boring, ordinary and predictable version of who he is. When she realizes that he’s really not the confident, funny, mysterious guy she thought he was, her attraction cools off…and the date ends with a kiss on the cheek, and her going home alone. A classic example of this comes from the movie “The Empire Strikes Back.” Han Solo is about to descend into the carbon chamber and get deep-freezed. Princess Leia’s parting words to him are, “I love you.” To which Han replies, “I know.” So after all the sexual tension that has been building up between these two, she finally loses control and blurts out a declaration of love. And how does Han react? Does he reciprocate, by telling her how much he loves her and getting all mushy? Hell no! He just says, “I know.” Maybe he loves her, too. But he doesn’t give her the confession. He doesn’t give her the validation she is craving at that moment. He doesn’t let her win. As a result, this AMPLIFIES the sexual tension, and Leia’s attraction towards him, to a mind-blowing level. If she wanted him before, now she absolutely craves him with every molecule of her being. If you start chatting with a woman in a bar, don’t monopolize her time and Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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128 space. Excuse yourself to step outside and make a phone call, or to check in with some friends. Come back five or ten minutes later and pick up where you left off with her. The idea is to get her interested, build up her attraction, then disengage and give her space. Repeat the process. You can make her miss you, even if you’re only stepping away for a few minutes. This is also a sure sign of confidence. Imagine how the average guy would handle the situation: he’d stand there and talk her ear off for as long as she allowed him to. Not you. Nice guys say predictable things, and take women out on predictable dates. You want to have an “edge” that conveys calm, cool confidence; act like your options are endless, and she’s just one of them. If you’re standing at the bar, talking to a girl, here’s what the difference would be… BORING GUY: “So, can I buy you a drink?” COOL GUY: “Grab us a couple of drinks, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Or, another variation on this: BORING GUY: “Let me buy you a drink.” COOL GUY: “Y’know what, Melissa, I get the sense that you’re a lot deeper than most guys realize. I’m going to go ahead and get us some drinks, because I want to hear more about that trip you took to Spain.” Or, as you’re about to leave the bar with her… BORING GUY: “Can I walk you to your car?” Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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COOL GUY: “C’mon, walk me to my car.” Or, when you call her to schedule a date: BORING GUY: “Maybe if you’re free sometime, we could get together and do something...” COOL GUY: “I’m planning on checking out this new Mexican place on Friday night, I hear they make the best margaritas in town. Why don’t you come along, I can pick you up at eight o’clock.” Assume that the last 37 guys that approached her, or called her, were utterly predictable. They introduced themselves the same way, asked her the same series of “job interview”-type questions, and talked about standard, uninteresting topics. And they only changed topics when the current topic had been run into the ground. The key to having dynamic conversations is that you control the flow. You keep the conversation moving into new, interesting territory. Don’t linger on a topic until it has run out of steam. Keep the conversation flowing in new directions to keep her in a heightened, interested emotional state.

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Example of a typical bar conversation: HIM: So what do you do? HER: I’m a school teacher. HIM: Oh really? Cool. What grade do you teach? HER: Eighth grade. HIM: Ah, ok…so do you enjoy being a teacher? HER: Yeah, I love it. HIM: That’s cool…um...so how long have you been a teacher? (He’s already running out of steam.) There is no rule that says you’ve got to stick with whatever topic is being discussed at the moment. You never want to run out of steam, and bouncing from one topic to the next can keep things interesting. The idea is that YOU control the flow. For example, you’re standing next to a girl at the bar. You look at her, make eye contact, give her a smile, and say… YOU: “I can tell there’s more to you than meets the eye.” HER: “What makes you say that?” YOU: “Well, I’m sure a lot of guys judge you based on your looks, but you’ve got a Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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131 deeper, more complicated side that they don’t know about. I’m right, aren’t I.” HER: “I guess that’s true.” YOU: “OK then, so let me ask you a hypothetical question, and this question is really interesting because it reveals a lot about a person. If you could have the power to fly, or the power to be invisible, which would you want?” HER: “Hmmm, I guess the power to be invisible.” YOU: “That’s very interesting. Now tell me why you would want that power…” Now you’re immersed in a cool conversation. You’re capturing her imagination, instead of asking the same old “job interview” questions while she sizes you up and thinks of all the reasons why she shouldn’t keep talking to you. Listen for transitional words and topics that will allow you to take the conversation in new directions, and plant seeds about your own positive qualities (without sounding like you’re bragging). For example, if she says, “I’d want to be invisible so that no one can bother me at my job. I can’t stand dealing with rude customers all day…” …you could jump on the word “job” and use it to transition to that subject. Then take this opportunity to mention how passionate you are about what you do. If she would want the power to fly, maybe it’s because she would visit some interesting, exotic locale. Now you can move onto the subject of travel. If you haven’t done much international travel, that’s okay: you can mention some amazing place that you’re planning to visit, and relate some details about it that make her imagine going there with you someday.

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132 Another rule of dynamic conversation is that you should keep her in a positive, enthusiastic frame of mind as much as possible. If things take a negative turn, and she starts complaining about something (her ex-boyfriend, her bitchy roommate, her asshole boss, etc.), it’s your job to take her mind off the negative and keep things on a positive track. So let’s rewind, back to when she says… HER: “I’d want to be invisible so that no one can bother me at my job. I deal with so many obnoxious customers, I don’t even know why I work there...” YOU: “My opinion is, if you’re going to have a job, you might as well make it something you’re passionate about. I’m fortunate, I’m really love what I do.” HER: “So what do you do?” YOU: “Well, I didn’t come out tonight to talk about work, but let’s just say I’m well compensated and it’s the perfect use of my talents.” HER: “Hmm, ok…” YOU: “So tell me, if had a hundred million bucks in the bank—let’s say you won the lottery—how would you spend your days? What would you be passionate about doing, if you never had to worry about paying another bill?” Here’s another example of an original approach, followed through with Conversation Control: YOU: Are you friendly or mean? HER: Why do you ask? YOU: You look a little bit mean, but I think it’s just a front. You’re actually a Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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133 sweetheart, once people get to know you. HER: Yes, I’d like to think I’m sweet. YOU: Let me ask you something. My best friend Jay broke up with his girlfriend about a week ago. And he really wants to ask out one of her friends, but he’s worried that it’s too soon. Should a guy wait a certain amount of time before he asks out a friend of his ex? Is there a rule for this? HER: I think he should give it a few weeks at least. HIM: A few weeks, hmm. That makes sense. I bet you’re the girl that all of your friends come to for “guy advice.” You have a knack for this stuff; maybe you should have your own talk show. HER: (laughing) Well, my sister had something similar happen. She met this guy when she was in college… HIM: Where did she go to school? HER: Princeton. HIM: Really? I went to (name a school). I majored in business, with a minor in throwing parties. Which reminds me…you’re invited to this party I’m throwing next month, I’m just trying to decide what theme to go with. I was thinking toga party, but that’s so played out…maybe “pimps n’ hos,” because I’ve got this killer fur coat and a giant wide-brimmed hat I could wear…but then I started thinking, maybe a 1980s theme would be cool. Just think of the party playlist I could put together for my iPod. Banarama, the Go-Gos, Journey, Men at Work, Duran Duran…who I am forgetting?” As you can see, within the space of the first minute, you’ve planted cool Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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134 seeds about yourself and taken the conversation in interesting, unpredictable directions. You’ve engaged her imagination, and you’re relating to her on a level that most guys would never get to. And you didn’t need to stay on any particularly topic…you bounced around to keep things moving along. (By the way, you can always return later on to any of the topics you touched on earlier and then moved away from.) For more conversational strategies, topics to riff on with women, and an arsenal of high-powered Hypotheticals, check out Women Persuasion Secrets.

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Chapter 12: Carlos Xuma On Being an Alpha Man Who Attracts Younger Women www.DatingDynamics.com Interview by Dean Cortez

The next interview in our series on Dating Younger Women is with Carlos Xuma, a dating and attraction advisor as well as a black belt instructor and motivational life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Alpha Lifestyle DVD course, the Power Social Skills program, and many others. Carlos' programs teach the essence of attraction between the sexes. By understanding the successful traits of attractive single men, you can attract more women, achieve more success with your career and financial goals, and experience a more rewarding life. His overall approach is known as R.E.A.L. Game, and he shows you how to use your genuine personality to attract the opposite sex, and make enhance your entire LIFESTYLE to see and feel the Big Picture of attraction and success in social dynamics. You can get his free ebook and weekly dating advice and confidence newsletter at www.datingdynamics.com. *****

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136 First off, Carlos, I want to ask how you got into this field, and what kind of personal journey you underwent in order to better understand women and how to attract them. I started on this whole path by reading a couple of books that I’d found back in the 1990s, before the Internet took off and the seduction community was teaching guys how to attract women and offering all of these different programs. I had to go back to some very basic and elemental stuff, and develop myself from the ground up. One of those books was “How To Be the Jerk Women Love,” written by a friend of mine named F.J. Shark. This was probably one of the most essential books in my development, because it taught me there are things men can do to inspire attraction, which don’t make any logical sense because they run counter to our perceptions about what women want—namely, the idea that women all want a guy who is “nice” and “good” in all the obvious ways. I distinctly remember taking that book and throwing it aside a couple of times, because I was saying to myself, “no, it can’t be this way, it’s not right. This stuff isn’t about being nice to women.” I was hung up on the concept of being nice to them, thinking that’s the way you win them, which simply isn’t true. It’s not about being mean to women either, but you’ve got to put aside your need for approval. Because ultimately, “nice guys” are not so nice. These are the guys who have an agenda, who often use manipulation because they need women, as opposed to standing on their own two feet and being Alpha Men. This is something guys need to understand. Are a lot of your readers and seminar students particularly interested in dating younger women? Yes, a lot of guys do want this, but it’s usually not so specific. Guys don’t come out and say they want to meet younger women, unless it’s a guy in his 40s or 50s and he’s aware that the available pool of women changes as he gets older, and he’s not as attracted to women his own age. Biologically, this makes sense, yet a lot of Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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137 people look at this as being superficial. They’ll label the older guys as dogs for wanting younger women. They use the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Well, the reality is that we do judge people by their appearance, and men do this primarily because of evolutionary concerns. You have to understand that in the grand scheme of evolution, for thousands of years guys were forced to make choices about their mate not based on who had the best personality or who they were most “compatible” with. It was all about which woman was most likely to bear him a healthy child. Men sought out women who had full breasts and full hips, who were healthy, who had good skin. The man could tell everything he needed to know about a woman based on her appearance. He didn’t need to have a lot of intellectual things going on with her. Of course, times change. Guys don’t need women for quite the same things as they used to, and vice versa—women don’t need guys for the exact same reasons, either. But our underlying, biological motivations haven’t really changed. Do you feel that guys are in need of some “re-programming” when it comes to learning how to talk to, and attract, younger women? I do think guys are in need of more information about dating younger women because there are a lot of misperceptions about this topic. A lot of guys who want to date women who are 5-10 years younger than they are, or more, feel like they’re doing something wrong, or bad—that they’re dirty old men taking advantage of women. Well let’s face it, we have laws in place to guide guys around the moral dilemma. The woman needs to be 18 or older, obviously. This perception that it’s somehow “wrong” to date a younger woman is what hurts these guys in the long run, because when you believe you’re doing something that is wrong or inappropriate, you’re undermining your inner game and turning off your self-confidence. When it comes to dating younger women, it’s all about the mindset.

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What do you see as the advantages of dating younger women? There are a lot of advantages in dating them, and maybe even marrying them. The obvious reason is that for guys, it’s all about carrying our blood line. It’s the basic genetic concept of making ourselves perpetuate into future generations. This is what humans are here to do. We don’t like to recognize that we have these animal needs in us, but we do; we have to connect our genetic legacy to the next generation. We’re all here today because behind us there is a long succession of our ancestors that were successful in mating and producing offspring. It’s called the “genetic imperative.” This insures that dominant species get to keep going. And younger women tend to be healthier and more fertile, better able to produce the offspring we want. Of course, we’re also recognizing their beauty. Younger women aren’t being dragged down by gravity; when she’s in her 20s, she’s probably as perk, fit and attractive as she’ll ever be. For some guys, however, the reality check is that marrying a younger woman might not be in their best interest. Her personality isn’t settled yet. People at that age are still in a big state of transition—although let’s face it, you’ll never find a person who is exactly in your state of mind, and whom you’ll be perfectly matched with for the rest of your lives. That’s something you’ll need to work at in the relationship. I do think that guys have unreasonable expectations sometimes—that the woman won’t change, that she’ll have that same, youthful look and energy for the rest of her life. That doesn’t happen. Every woman ages and gets older. And it may sound harsh, but every woman depreciates as far as her value to men. I want to share this email that was posted on www.craiglist.com, in which a young woman basically advertising herself as a commodity…

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***** Headline: What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. $250,000 won't get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level? Here are my questions specifically: - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms - What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)? - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there? - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment, banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out? - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY. Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth. THE REPLY: Dear Pers-431649****: I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said, here's how I see it.

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141 Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub: your looks will fade, and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35, stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

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142 By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. ***** So that’s the dilemma here. Women are a depreciating asset, and that’s why men are looking for the youngest women available. What’s your opinion of the stigma in our society that there’s something weird or inappropriate about a guy dating a woman who’s a lot younger than he is? It seems like this is perfectly acceptable is the guy is a rich celebrity, but if your 50-year-old next-door neighbor was dating a 25-year-old hottie, it would raise a lot of eyebrows… In a way, I do think the stigma is silly because it boils down to one thing. The stigma is only there because men allow it to be there. It wouldn’t be an issue if guys, on the whole, were confident about who they are, and secure in their masculinity—if they knew what they wanted and went after it, and didn’t have this dilemma in their head about whether it’s right, or wrong, or inappropriate. The reason these older-younger relationships are common in other parts of the world is because the guys, on the whole, have a stronger sense of who they are. They’re not shaken up by a bunch of feminist propaganda and nonsense. You also have to recognize that women in America drive most of the content in the media, because they’re the ones mostly buying the magazines, the books and the tabloids, going to the movies, and watching television, which means they determine much of the TV programming that we get. This is no conspiracy theory. You have to recognize that in capitalist societies where the dollar rules, that’s what is dictating what you end up seeing in the media. And what you see in our media winds up reverse-programming guys—

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143 telling them that their wants and desires are bad, or unfair to women. It questions the male psyche and our sense of masculinity. In cultures where they don’t have this stuff his going on, the man’ s desires are simple, pure and not questioned. Women just recognize “that’s the way it is.” Obviously, women in America aren’t really comfortable with the idea of younger women getting all the good men. They’re all very catty and jealous about that. But on a deep, genetic level, they understand inherently that men must be the leaders. Men are supposed to be the ones who drive the supply-and-demand in the “dating marketplace.” Now, there are going to be a lot of guys who are into older women, or women their same age, and there will be guys who stay forever with the person they marry, as crazy as that seems in this day and age. All in all, it’s not about what other people think about it. It’s what you think and what you do about it. Only around 5% of the population ever achieves any real level of wealth, and you can bet that 5% doesn’t give a crap what the other 95% thinks. They went after the money, they earned it, and they’re not going to let public perception make them poor. The same thing should be true for guys in the dating world. You decide what is right for you, and live with that. Would you say there any qualities that an older man can possess, that younger women will instinctually be attracted to? Definitely. Younger women are looking for specific traits in older men. Financial wealth isn’t necessary, but younger women are going to be attracted to older men who have at least some financial stability and independence through their careers, and wise money-making. As guys, we’re supposed to function on that level. Also, older men tend to have stronger confidence. They’ve gotten past a lot of the insecurity and nonsense of their youth, and have hopefully moved on to a deeper level of understanding about themselves. They’ve gone after their passions and pursuits, and established those things as part of their lifestyle. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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On another level, there’s also the “daddy figure” image. A lot of women grew up trying to please their dads, who was a role model in their lives of the opposite sex, who they had to please and appease in a lot of ways. Older men may appeal to a woman’s “daddy complex,” for lack of a better term. Women feel a sense of safety and security with them, which is so crucial. A lot of attractive qualities can be simulated in various ways, but the most important is the level of safety and security that a woman feels with you. This is something that older guys can provide. How have you seen older guys blow their chances with younger chicks? Older guys tend to ruin their chances with younger women because of what’s going on in their head. They mess up their game by thinking the wrong thoughts—as if they’re the dirty older man pursuing the hot young woman. We all know how society paints this picture, and guys immediately start to feel guilty about it. I know guys who are late 20s who feel like they’re doing something wrong by hitting on women in their early 20s! We have this stigma about the difference in ages between men women. But the scientific reality is that women prefer men who are between 3-5 years older than they are. So you do think women are actively seeking to date older men, or is this attraction happening on more of an instinctual level? The preference for older guys usually isn’t something that women are consciously aware of. It’s about the way the guy acts, and that’s the most important distinction. It’s how old you are acting. A lot of guys in their 20s are acting like boring 50-year-olds. Then you’ve got guys in their 50s who have the same level of energy and enthusiasm they had when they were 25. It’s all in the way you frame yourself, and the ways in which you behave and interact with women.

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145 A guy who is genuinely fun, who interacts with women on a playful level, I can guarantee he will appear to be at least 10 years younger than the guy is too focused, serious and goal-oriented with women. Your biological age is meaningless. You’ve really got to believe you’ve got something to give to her—that your presence in her life is going to elevate the amount of fun she has, and add something that she does not have. She has to believe in her heart and soul that you’re a commodity she has been searching for. It took me years of work to acquire this mindset, but when you get it, you’re not going to have any problem attracting women of any age. Another way that guys ruin their chances is feeling the need to justify themselves to women. They jump into an interaction thinking they need to prove themselves right off the bat, believing that because they’re an older guy, they need to show her something—wealth, jewelry, an expensive car—to get her interested. But it’s guaranteed to turn her off. How would you describe the “right mindset” when it comes to attracting younger women? The right mindset comes down to projecting a youthful attitude. A lot of guys treat dating way too seriously, because they’re intimidated by the whole prospect. When we get intimidated by a situation, or feel we don’t have right skills, most guys will lose their sense of humor. They feel their value is being questioned when they don’t feel competent enough. So first, keep your sense of humor. Be flexible and relaxed, and never take this too seriously—or else you’ll mess up your game and turn off women. This puts you in a downward spiral. When you don’t feel good about yourself, that projects into your game. As she detects this, you become even more serious and she reacts more negatively. It creates a selfreinforcing spiral in your head that younger women just don’t want older guys, which is absolutely not true.

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146 Women don’t want guys who act old. So be fun, playful and relaxed. These are essential traits for interacting with any woman, but it’s 10 times more important when she’s a lot younger than you are. Can you share with us any of techniques or strategies that guys can use when they converse with younger women? One thing I teach them is that you’ve got to be the one doing the “qualifying.” You can’t get drawn into jumping through hoops to impress women. Don’t let women turn the tables on you. When we sense a person has lower social status than ourselves, we tend to play games with them, to feel them out and see how they react in certain situations. Women test men twice as much. Especially younger women. They know they’ve got the goods; they know they’re desired because they give off the indicators that they’re viable mating candidates. They’re young and fertile. They can provide men with the right offspring. Women are in the prime of their lives from the ages of 16-26; these are her prime “baby poppin’” years. Back in old times, women were having babies around the age of 12 and 13! Biologically, we’re tuned into younger women on an instinctual level. It’s the way nature works. The older women say it’s not fair, but hey, get used to it. So, back to what I was saying. As an older guy, you need to be qualifying women more than anything else—saying things that let her know, you’re the one who is doing the choosing, not the other way around. You are the one who will ultimately decide whether she is worthy. This can be a very tricky head game for guys to play, especially if they’re going to clubs and bars because these environments women are wielding the most power—it’s like they’ve got a “scepter of power” in their hand, and all they have to do is hit the ground with it twice, and the ground will open up and swallow any chump guy who’s trying to talk to her. That’s basically how a lot of guys feel when they’re approaching women at bars—like it’s a life-or-death situation! But as you’re saying, the key is to be

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147 playful, have fun with it, and maintain the mindset that YOU are the one doing the choosing… That’s right. Understand that your “social strength,” or your inner confidence level, has to be spot-on and bulletproof. Know you have the shit. If you lack the conviction that you’re the one making the decisions, you’re going to find yourself being tested and challenged much more often. You’ve also got to know that you’re looking good on the outside. Your look should be current, but shouldn’t seem like you’re trying too hard. A lot of guys out there are losing their hair, which in itself is not a bad thing, but they try to make up for this perceived “flaw” in other ways. They do a “combover” hair style, or wear cheesy, flashy clothes that make them look like pickup artists. Well, women have seen the TV shows about the whole pickup artist thing. They’ve read the book “The Game.” They know what’s going on and they see right through it. Are there any specific routines or patterns that you use when you approach younger women? It’s really about following the right principles, as opposed to trying to follow word-for-word routines. The main principle is that you must qualify them as much as possible in the early part of the interaction, while not coming off as arrogant or too cocky. Have that playful edge. Showing a little bit of vulnerability works as well. As far as approaching and engaging younger women in conversation, it’s really not that different from how you should do this with a woman your age. You’ve got to go in with the same objectives and work the same process. But the younger she is, the more playful you’re going to have to be. I don’t use patterns or routines because they force me to stick me with a pre-formed conversation that feels fake. This is where routines can get in the way. If you want to figure out some interesting topics to open conversations with, go online and look up pop culture items for that week. Go into the entertainment sections on websites like Yahoo, or Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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148 CNN, or MSNBC. Look up recent news articles dealing with celebrities, or what’s on television, or who’s the hottest singer on American Idol right now. You’ll literally find a treasure trove of things to talk about. And if you’re ever wondering what younger women are into, let the media fill you in. Look at the new titles in the bookstores geared towards their demographic, or the headlines on the supermarket celebrity tabloids. Glance through a woman’s magazine like Cosmopolitan. They’re filled with stories like, “How To Satisfy a Man in 5 easy steps.” They’ve got tips on fashion, and how to be happy. “The 4 Secrets Your Guy is Holding Back From Telling You.” “Who’s the Worst-Dressed Woman In Hollywood?” “How To Handle a Fight With Your Boyfriend.” “10 Pieces of Sexy Clothing For Summer.” Let the magazines do your intell work. So now you’re going to walk up to women with a strong opener—something interesting to say to her, not about her. You want to be more indirect with younger women. The important thing is that if you’re going to open with a question, and get her opinion on something, it should be something you are genuinely curious about, and can have some fun with. I’ve said to women, “I’m doing an informal poll. How many pairs of shoes are in your closet right now, that you have never worn?” It’s fun, it’s like a little quiz, and women love that. Be fun, be interesting, don’t be needy. The conversation doesn’t need to go very deep, but it needs to demonstrate that you’re not just going for the “pick up.” Women can smell that “game” these days. They know guys are using this seduction material. And when it comes to building attraction, tease delicately. Don’t insult her or make fun of her, but tease to break the ice and make her feel you present a bit of a challenge. Let her feel she’s going to have to perform a little bit, in order to capture your interest. Make it clear that you are the one running the show, and have a strong presence. If she’s in a bookstore reading something, I might ask, “is that a book you would buy because you’re really interested in it, or because you Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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149 want to make people think you’re more interesting?” Of course, I have a playful smile on my face when I say this, to let her know I’m just joking around, and if she gets offended it’s not my fault. It’s her fault. She just disqualified herself from the race and I’m ready to move on. If you don’t come into the game ready to cut her loose, at any given time, you’re not really in the game. You’re playing it too safe and you’ll inevitably find yourself in a crash-and-burn situation. What advice would you give a guy who wants to improve his fashion sense? The best thing to do is find a woman with good taste, and have her help you go out there and buy some good, stylish clothes. Find out what your look is. Trendy, dressy, casual…women can really help you nail the right look for yourself. Put some money aside for this. If you’re serious about succeeding with women, don’t cry to me that you don’t have money for good clothes. Tough. This is something you have to accept. Go out and do it. You should also keep your hair in a contemporary style. Don’t wear a mustache. In fact, if there is one aspect of your “look” that you’ve been attached to for a long time, it’s probably time to let it go. I see guys who are attached to having a ponytail, or a goatee, and they think they look good and don’t care what other people think. There’s a Catch-22 here, because it’s nice to have that independent attitude, but that look could be causing you to look a bit dated and odd. A lot of guys keep clinging to a look that really isn’t working for them. If you’re losing your hair, you can either replace it, or look good without it—shave it all off, or keep it very close-cropped. Don’t do a combover or try to be clever. Women can tell when you’re losing their hair. She doesn’t really care about that; it’s about how you feel about your loss of hair. If you’re insecure about it, she’s going to feel insure about you. Keep your nails are trimmed. Make sure you’ve got fresh breath. You should have no odor issues of any kind, as women are very sensitive about this. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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If you have any doubts about how you appear to women, go and ask one. Get her opinion. Tell her to not worry about hurting your feelings, and to be as honest as humanly possible, and tell her what you should do—in her opinion—to look better. Listen to her. Even better, talk to a few women. If they all have the same critique about an aspect of your appearance, chances are that’s what you need to change. You talked earlier about the importance of making women want to meet your criteria. How exactly can a guy “turn the tables” on a woman this way? To make women want to qualify themselves to you, first you’ve got to remember that you can’t start the qualification process until you’ve established some curiosity on her part. The universal equation for getting someone to buy into something—whether you’re selling them a refrigerator or a set of encyclopedias, or trying to make a woman buy you as a viable candidate for her to date or sleep with—is a sales principle called AIDA. This is an age-old truism for getting people to respond and buy. A stands for “Attention.” You need to get their attention, and make them pay attention to you. I is for “Interest.” You’ve got to make them interested in knowing more. This means you’ll have to work on your presentation, so that you are an interesting person to listen to. The D is for “Desire”: you’ve got their attention and interest, now you need to arouse desire and make them want you, or want what you’re selling. And the last letter, A, is “Action.” You’ve got to get them to act on their desire. This is when you close the deal with them. Qualification straddles the “Interest” and “Desire” part of the process. Basically, you make her feel like she’s cool and interesting. You pay her a compliment. And then express some reservation, as if you’re not totally sure she’s up to your standards. What kind of compliment should you pay her? Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Well, first of all, never compliment a woman on anything related to her looks or beauty. Instead, compliment her on a trait or quality. Something I might say would be, “you’re pretty interesting. I meet a lot of women, but a lot of them can’t carry on an interesting conversation. I really liked what you told me about (fill in the blank with something interesting & personal she discussed with you). Or you can compliment her on a trait like loyalty: “That’s pretty cool that you stood up and defended your friend that way. Not a lot of people would have done that, I admire that.” Make her feel good about herself based on something that guys wouldn’t normally see. The only way to effectively compliment a woman is to go beneath the surface and recognize something that most guys miss. When you do that, you’ll immediately wrap up her “interest” factor. The next step in AIDA, Desire, means you’ve got to make her view you as a desirable commodity. Give her a reason to have to prove herself to you. A few minutes later in the conversation I’ll say something like, “you’re pretty cool and all, but I don’t know…I have this feeling like we’d always be fighting. We both have strong personalities, we always want to be right. I don’t know if this is going to work…I think I’m going to have to ask for a divorce right now. I’m taking half of everything.” So you see, at the end, I’m off-setting it with a bit of humor, making it funny. Like we’re jumping forward in time and “assuming” a relationship. Women love going along with it; it shows a certain level of social awareness, and a sophisticated sense of humor, that most guys don’t have. This qualification process is essential with younger women, because she’s got to know that you have a firm sense of your own value. Most younger guys don’t have this, and it gives you a distinct advantage over them. And by “older,” I really mean that you’re simply older than she is. You’ve also got to take a step back and think, what would be your reasons for actually disqualifying a woman? I don’t care how beautiful she is. If you don’t Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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152 actually have reasons for disqualifying women that are locked firmly in your head, then you’re going to be the needy, insecure guy who will only approve of women. Have that criteria established in advance, firmly embedded in your head— reasons that would cause you to say “no,” no matter how good she looks, and walk away. That’s the first rule of negotiations: you’ve got to be willing to walk away from the deal. This give you a strong sense of poise and confidence, when you’re an Alpha Man who is willing to walk away from any deal that looks like it won’t benefit you—and this extends to women. Another benefit of qualifying her is that it allows you to gauge her interest level in you. If she doesn’t care about establishing her value to you, then you’re not playing the game correctly. She’s not going to have strong, actionable interest. Are there any locations you’d recommend for meeting younger women? These locations are everywhere. We all know that lots of women are in the bars and clubs, and certain types of women will be there. But most older guys aren’t just looking to just nail younger women. They want some type of steady, ongoing relationship. There are a lot of good places you probably haven’t thought of before, places where the younger women go to. Think and it will come to you. What about music stores? Musical events? Music is an important part of younger women’s lives. Go to social events. Speed dating events are an awesome way to meet younger women. Then there’s online dating. When you create your Internet profile, don’t lie about your age. Be OK with it, and mention it. Write something like, “I know some of you will see that I’m 40, and you might be looking for a guy closer to your age, but have you ever met a guy who was a young soul, and seemed ageless?” Then riff on it. The idea is, you bring your age right out into the open and destroy it. This technique is called “inoculation” and it works like a charm. How should guys approach their first date with a younger woman? Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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First, you’ve got to avoid falling into the trap of trying to prove yourself. Most guys try to do this by spending money or taking her somewhere fancy. I remember going out on a date with a younger woman, and we just played billiards. I realized after an hour that she was just too young for my tastes, as far as the way she acted, and the things she was into. I thought she was below my particular standards. I even said it to her at the end of the night: “you know what, I’ve had a lot of fun with you this evening, but you’re a little too young for me.” I was being truthful. I could care less if it cost me a possible night in the sack with her. I have standards to live up to, and that’s always 10,000 more times important than getting laid one time, because you’re doing things that reinforce your posture, sense of confidence, and Alpha attitude. Sometimes the best thing for you is to decide not to hook up with a woman. On the first date, don’t splurge and spend money and try to impress her. Take her out to do something fun. For example, take her to an arcade and give her some tokens to play the games with you. Get her energy level jacked up. Get her competitive, involved in the interaction. That’s the perfect kind of date—not sitting at dinner and going back and forth exchanging “interview” questions. You want to escalate her physical and emotional state and make her feel like she’s having fun. Nothing is more important. What about when a guy does these things correctly, and enters into a relationship with a younger woman? With a lot of guys, as soon as they’re getting sex from a hot young babe, all of these rules and principles we’re talking about go out the window. They’re too worries about trying to please her and hold onto her… Guys tend to do whatever it takes to get women into a relationship, and they then drop all the good habits that got them that far. They become lazy and complacent, and she’ll either wind up cheating on him or dumping him. The real essence of Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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154 keeping a younger woman interested in you is about maintaining the level of fun, and your young, free-spirited attitude. If you revert back to being an “old guy,” or just a father figure, you’re going to lose her. Guaranteed. I wish I could tell you about some clever trick that will make younger women latch onto you forever, but there isn’t one. Remember, your competition is out there all the time. The only thing you can do is to be better than them—play the game harder, faster and better. Have the right Alpha attitude: be confident and have your lifestyle the way you want it. You can’t be running around crying around the things you’re not getting, acting insecure and needy. Be in control of your life, and your lifestyle. To remain attractive to the woman you’re with, maintain that image. Stay fit and healthy. I remember a friend of mine was getting married, and she asked a female friend of ours for advice on maintaining a happy relationship. She said the best thing you can do to make it last is to stay sexy. It’s so true. Guys think they can let themselves go. Women often make the same mistake, but let’s face it, if you let yourself go, you’re pretty much showing her that you don’t care all that much about keeping her happy, either. Women observe how you treat yourself. This also means keeping your sense of fashion up to date, and taking up some youthful hobbies. Try something new every month, or at least every year. Make this one of your goals. A cooking class. Salsa dancing classes. This will keep your spirit youthful, and that’s what younger women want to see. Here’s another situation I’ve seen with students of my program, Women Persuasion Secrets: they’ll get all excited about learning these skills, and they’ll go out and start meeting women, and in a short amount of time they find “the perfect girl” and become totally focused on her. Rather than dating different girls and enjoying the single life, they feel the need to “lock down” that one girl and get serious with her. What’s your take on guys that rush into these situations? Well, the faster that a guy bypasses the whole qualification process, and jumps straight into “you’re the one for me,” the more a woman is going to feel afraid and Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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155 suspicious of him. Then he’s going to feel more and more desperate because he fears he may be losing her, and she responds by pushing him away harder. It’s another downward spiral. The irony is the more you try to cling to her, the more likely this is to happen. The best thing you can do is give her a lot of space. Remember the old “push-pull” theory. It works. Don’t be pulling her in all the time. The back-and-forth is what creates sexual tension, which is necessary if you’re going to create and sustain attraction. Don’t jump into the mindset of, “I need to marry this girl.” Women know this is the first sign of an “uh oh” situation—where you know you’ve gotten involved with somebody that you want to like, but you know they’re going to be desperate, needy and clingy, and other things you don’t need in your life. You’ve got to be 100% in charge of your own life, pursuits, and passions before you can ever seriously throw a woman into your mix. It’s the most important decision you’re ever going to make in your life: which woman will you hook up with and stay with? Don’t take a woman just based on her appearance. This doesn’t qualify her to be your girlfriend. Yes, you want a hot woman who you’re physically attracted to, and a woman you want to keep sleeping with, but it’s like the old saying goes: “You show me the most beautiful woman in the world, and I’ll show you a guy who’s tired of doing her.” This is what 90% of divorces are about—people who didn’t realize there is more to the game than just being physically attracted to a person. Create that list of qualities that would cause you to disqualify a woman, and then you’ll be in a much better position to know when a woman is right for you, and right for the kind of relationship you want. Carlos, how can our readers find out more about your products and coaching programs? Go to www.datingdynamics.com and sign up for my free newsletters. I’ll also send you training videos and audio programs on being an Alpha Man. It’s about Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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156 so much more than knowing one particular strategy. I invite you to come and learn incredibly effective and powerful techniques and strategies that I’ve developed and refined over the last nine years or so. Keep in mind, what I teach is how to attract quality women into your life. Get on my mailing list today, and I’ll send you some fantastic information on improving your dating life and winning the most important game of all, which is your Inner Game. You’ve got no Outer Game until you have rock-solid Inner Game.

BONUS TIP FROM CARLOS XUMA: “TEASE TO PLEASE” The "Tease to Please" method works when you talk to women, because it shortcircuits her usual defense mechanisms to meeting 'strange' men. You see, every woman comes with her factory-installed defense mechanism against meeting new guys. When a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you're picking up on her. It's what she's gotten used to. All women are by now, and they all have a standard routine of being a little stand-offish to you until you bust past this barrier. Remember when you were just an eight-year-old kid on the playground? There were all these 'strange' creatures playing around the sandbox. They were called girls, and they seemed so bizarre and foreign to you. They were delicate and interesting in a way that you couldn't quite explain, but you knew that they were different. How do kids treat those that are different? They tease them. "Mary, Mary, she's so hairy!" "Where'd you get that backpack? Looks like a hunchback!" "Jenny's got a CARROT top!" Boys teased girls. Girls teased boys. Everyone made fun of everyone else. It was sandlot politics at its best, and you learned very quickly that you had to develop a callus to the teasing, or you'd get bruised pretty badly. (Some kids never adjusted, and grew up with their own sandbox issues.) Ah, what fun those days were. Well, sort of. We learned some very primitive social interactions there, but the principles still held for many of us. (Hey, whether or not you like it, we're a lot closer to Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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157 those kids in the playground than the adults you think we are. Everyone is still a little kid inside.) I'll be willing to bet you that you teased more girls because you liked them than you did because of any genuine weirdness. Sure, there's some cruelty, but the first social interaction most boys have with girls is when they teased them mercilessly. And what happened? The girls stuck up for themselves. They teased back. And they didn't realize it at the time, but this set in motion a whole pattern of behavior that led to them being very interested and attracted when they are CHALLENGED. That's right, boys. Teasing is all about raising the stakes of challenge to her, and letting her know that you don't get all mushy inside when you get near a girl. No confidence = no attraction from her. Tease to Please is a simple strategy. By teasing, you emulate a lot of the selfconfidence you need to demonstrate with a woman. That's really the secret in a nutshell. Call it what you want, Cocky and funny, confident and humorous, Tease to Please. You are showing her you have the balls to not roll over and pant like a whipped dog every time a woman comes near you. Here's how you do it. In my previous article, I explained how to deliver your introduction. Now you are in a position to continue the conversation as you see fit. You've disarmed her natural defenses and opened up your opportunity to engage her attraction mechanism. You do this through Teasing. Here's one of the examples we used last time: Example: She's got bright red shoes on. YOU: "Wow, those are ... interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where'd you get them...?" HER: "Oh, these? Uhm, I got them at Macy's. They're really old. I was looking to get a new pair.” YOU: "Well, my sister is pretty young, but she'd like that style. For an OLD lady ... (PAUSE) ... you're a pretty sharp dresser." You give her a SLIGHT smile that says "That was a joke." Remember, "sister" can be changed to aunt, or cousin, or whatever. You can use my standard response I gave you for now, but you'll do better if you learn how to think on your feet and come up with more personal and customized versions. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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There are a whole host of teasing responses. Here are some others (delivered with that sly smile): "Well, with heels that high, you better watch out for awnings. And low-flying planes." "How many feet have you crushed with those things? I'm wearing steel-toes, so don't try it on me." Let's say it's about a ring she's wearing: "Well, my sister likes those 'groovy' rings, too. Do you have a mood ring? I bet you were the kind of girl to wear one of those. Was it blue all the time? You look like you have cold hands." "My sister likes toe rings like that. Do you wear them on your toes, too? Just don't tell me you have a weird piercing, like your butt-cheek. That would just be TOO freaky." "Wow, that thing is HUGE. I bet you have to leave it off when you go swimming, huh? Or else you'd sink right to the bottom." It goes on and on. In fact, you could sit down and just think up a handful of these for a few different items of clothing (shoes, purse, jacket) and/or jewelry and be set for almost ANY encounter. Doesn't it feel great to know that you can now control your meetings and increase your ratios? Remember: Don't be insulting. Be TEASING. Teasing is done with a tongue-incheek sense of humor. You kid with her. If you make fun of her in a mean or malicious way, you're out. If you don't let her know you're kidding, you're out. The point of all this is to: A) Get her laughing B) Challenge her (by demonstrating Self-confidence and that you're DIFFERENT.) After you joke with her a little, make a decision if this is a woman you might be interested in. If so, you smile and start to walk away. Then, turn right back and TELL her (don't ask): "Hey, you know, we might like to continue this conversation sometime. Write down your number for me." (Memorize this phrasing to use.)

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159 An alternate approach: "Hey, you know, I might like to continue this conversation sometime. Write down your email address for me." If she says she doesn't have a pen, you DO, and hand it to her. If she says she doesn't have email, tease her some more: "No email? You didn't just get off a desert island did you?" Smile. "Here, just give me your home phone." (As she starts writing): "Uhm, your REAL number. I'm just going to call you as soon as I get home and leave a dozen annoying messages on your answering machine." Smile. Take her number and leave. Don't tell her you'll call. Leave her wondering. That's it. You disarm her defenses by keeping a sense of humor. You show self confidence and challenge her by teasing a little. Then you ask for what you want, and then you leave. You're a busy guy, with a busy schedule of too many women to meet. This completes your education on the Tease to Please approach. Now, as I said before, for such an invaluable and easy to use technique (given to you FREE, I'll add) the least you can do is to start putting it to use. I want to hear from guys who go out and start getting some action from the use of this. 'Cause I'll guarantee you one thing: You will get more responsiveness from women with this simple approach than ANY other tactic. More response = more practice. More practice = more dates. More dates = more sex. Or more relationships, or whatever it is you want. It all starts here. Get more women in your life. This is the bottom line.

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Chapter 13: Inside the Mind of A Beautiful (But Insecure) Younger Woman By Christian Hudson www.TheSocialMan.com Beautiful women—particularly the younger ones, who are the object of every guy’s attention when they’re dressed to kill and out socializing—often have deep insecurities that you wouldn’t suspect. If you’ve ever

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161 been “gamed” by a girl who was hot with you one day, and cold the next, you probably know what I mean. An important aspect of dating younger women is knowing how to recognize the warning signs of an insecure girl who just isn’t ready to date a man of your caliber. This is when true confidence comes into play—having enough of it to hit the “eject” button and bail out of a bad relationship, knowing that you’ve got the skills and confidence to find someone more deserving of you. Let’s take a journey into the mind of a hot but deeply insecure younger woman to see what’s really going on, and how she games the men in her life. The hot girl in question is a composite of three girls I’ve known, and we’ll call her Sarah. Every girl has a little bit of Sarah in them; this composite we’re drawing is simply the most extreme iteration of it. Here’s the backstory, taken from my experiences with the three girls. Sarah is a smart girl – far more intelligent than she initially appears. She plays the role of the “ditzy little girl” with aplomb, and half of my friends still refuse to believe that her IQ could possibly break the triple-digit barrier. But when it comes to men, she knows exactly what she’s doing. I’ve seen her destroy several guys (myself included), and I watch her keeping a steady flow of prospects in the pipeline. The guys she dates are good looking and successful—and usually, they fall for her hard. I believe that deep down, Sarah is a good person who wants to find a deeper happiness than her life today gives her, but as it stands, I’d hate for one of my friends to get caught up with a girl like her. And should you ever find yourself in a situation with a Sarah of your own, its only fair that you understand exactly what’s going on. Personally, I’ve dated two girls like her before, and I was in a wickedly hurtful relationship with one of them.

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So let’s see if we can get into Sarah’s head… The first thing you have to know about her existence is that it’s fairly shallow. Moment to moment, she seeks constant emotional and physical stimulation in the form of drugs, sex, cigarettes, text flirting with guys, etc. And unlike most of us, she’s able to get away with this because, well, she’s a hot girl in New York City who knows how to play the game. Sarah also likes to party. She’s out two to four nights a weeks, sometimes hitting multiple clubs at once, and she’s always at the best and hottest new club. Promoters love her because she rarely brings guys along, and has a great personality; fun, ditzy, playful, giggly – everything you want in a girl when you’re out at a club. But when she meets a guy in whom she’s interested, her demeanor changes instantly. First, her voice softens up to something akin to a baby’s cooing and her eyes become doe-like. The innocence comes across as capitulation, and flips a big switch in a man – his desire to take care of a woman. But she also knows how to turn on the sexy… with a narrowing of the eyes, a crossing of the legs, a little bite of the lip – and she’s attractive enough that few men are going to turn her down. I’ve watched her do it to random guys in clubs, as well as with a friend of mine, just to prove to me that she could. Guys see her “transform” from fun, wild social girl, to fawning little bunny—and imagine her potential as a sexual mistress. This results in paralyzing crushes. She goes after bankers and traders whenever possible. It is important for her ego that the men she’s dating have certain qualifications.

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163 And as she starts dating a man, she’s full of push-pull. One morning she’s in his kitchen, wearing his oxford shirt and cooking breakfast for him. She tells him she’ll see him later that night, then flakes out and heads to a club with me, where we’ll dance the night away. The guy starts texting her… “Baby, where are you?” The next morning, she meekly apologizes, shows up for sex, and pulls the guy deeper into thinking that if he tries just a *little* bit harder, she’ll change for him. And this is the genius – mad or otherwise – in how she handles a man. She is incredibly compliant and giving when she’s with him, to the point he thinks he “has her.” She is very emotional and “falls in love” quickly; temporary as it may be, the guy starts to believe it too. Her emotions are like a hurricane: as soon as they comes, they can also be gone. And a guy wants to believe that he’s going to be the one who tames her, that she’ll be his domestic Debbie. Then, once she’s felt that the guy has invested enough into her (and critically, ONLY then) she’ll disappear. Here’s the funny part – her routine works best on the guys with huge egos. The most successful, the best-looking, the ones who eat women for breakfast. She’s sexy enough that she can make them work hard to get her – fancy meals, tables and bottles, whatever she wants, really – and once they’ve invested enough and feel they’ve “won,” it becomes part of their ego that they’re dating the girl who everyone else wants but who no one can have. The moment she pulls away, that massive ego begins to lurch. I’ve watch guys cancel travel plans, leave work early, and go into debt trying to pull this girl back into their world. Does this lead to good relationships? Absolutely not. It results in fights, guys showing up at her house (and mine) yelling in the street for her, and lots of bad feelings. But it works for her for two reasons.

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First, all the drama is essentially emotional stimulation. Whether she’s feeling really good and excited about a guy, or whether he’s blowing up her phone with pleas and grievances, it is making her life interesting. Secondly, while she is an intelligent girl, she has some *very* deep issues. Insecurities she’s not comfortable sharing with a guy with whom she’s romantically involved. She knows (instinctively) that if she truly opens herself up in that way, she’s putting herself in a position to be hurt. And she’s so insecure about who she really is that she’s just not going to let a guy who’s fucking her have that kind of power over her. So what’s the lesson here for us guys? Well, most importantly, do your homework and follow your instincts. A key concept in attraction is investment: the more you invest in something, the more of an emotional attachment you develop for it. And falling in love with Sarah is kind of like buying stock in a promising but volatile tech company – if it’s a hot thing that is poised to take off and generate massive returns, you might get emotionally invested, and fail to get out when you should. Every now and then the company puts out a press release with incredibly good news, but since you’ve never met the management team, you have no way of knowing if it’s accurate. And believe me, if a man is dealing with Sarah on a superficial or ego basis, he definitely hasn’t “met management.” Perhaps you stated dating a younger woman and had people who knew her tell you to “watch out for her,” but you defended her and said “no, I know her in a way that other people don’t,” or something to that effect. Well, “management” is hidden away in the board room and letting the PR and customer service people do the talking, and you bought into the lines you’re being spoon-fed.

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165 What else? Don’t let your ego get caught up in determining whether she’d be a good girl for you. It is not your job to be her Dad, brother or burly protector. Sarah has people in her life who are looking out for her, and just because you’re fucking her doesn’t mean its your responsibility to save her. Yes, if she sees your interest waning, she’ll work hard to get it back. But if you’re getting any signs that your girl is half-heartedly committed, that her insecurities and/or abilities with men are driving her to seek constant stimulation, then you just have to keep your eyes open. One day, when she’s had enough partying, she’ll find a solid man and latch on tight, and there will be no doubt in his mind (or hers) that she’s in it to win it. But until then, if there’s smoke, there’s probably fire. The things that drive Sarah are present in everyone’s head. When you’re looking for a girlfriend, its important to be able to see her for who she really is. I’ve been in relationships with girls who I thought were loving, honest people. Then something goes wrong, and all of a sudden I’m seeing parts of Sarah come out. The girl is pushing me, pulling me, and I’m telling myself “wait, this isn’t who she is! She’s the girl I was dating a few months ago… I just need to bring that back out of her.” Problem is, because her perception of me—and the role that I play in her life—has changed, so has she. Lessons learned. And hey – if you know yourself and who you are, you know what you’ll accept, what you won’t, and you’ll be able to give yourself fully when the right girl comes along.

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Chapter 14: Controlling Her Reality By Dean Cortez You might think that beautiful younger women, who are used to always getting their way, want a man they can

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167 control—a guy who won’t question her, and will generally treat her like a princess. But actually, deep-down, women don’t like guys who give them anything they want, and bend over backwards to please them. Women do not feel comfortable in relationships with these types of guys, because they need to feel that they’re with a guy who possesses emotional strength. What a woman yearns for is a guy who is in firm control of himself, his world, and his relationships. She gets turned on by a guy who isn’t afraid to verbally “spank” her when she gets out of line. A guy who isn’t timid or tentative, who says what’s on his mind and gives her direction. When you kiss a woman’s ass to get her to stay with you, she is more likely to leave. When a woman starts whining about some trivial problem and you act all concerned and sympathetic, she only gets more dramatic and hysterical. The confident older man can’t be bothered with that nonsense. And women will feel reassured when you demonstrate that you’re a calm, cool decision maker who doesn’t get drawn into silly, emotional arguments. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about… HER: “I hate that bitch Lisa at my job. She’s such a back-stabber, she’s been spreading rumors again...” (Blah, blah…) (You listen patiently for a few minutes. Nod your head sympathetically and caress her hand. Let her vent, and run out of gas…and then step in and lay out the solution.) YOU: “Look. Tomorrow you’re going to take Lisa aside, and you’re going to calmly explain to her that it’s important to keep things on a professional level at your work, and neither of you have time to engage in petty gossip. As for right Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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168 now, let’s grab another drink and I want to tell you about this really funny experience I had yesterday.” (Steer her onto a light, pleasant topic.) Another point to remember, as you keep the idea of control in mind...

Confident Older Men Don’t “Court” Women. They Seduce Them In Environments They Control. When you take women out on “traditional dates,” you’re playing the game on their terms. Forget about spending a bunch of cash on taking her to dinner and movie. (These days, you practically need a bank loan to buy popcorn, candy and sodas for two people.) Instead, invite her to have drinks at a cool, off-the-radar spot which you can introduce her to. (In my “Ultimate Edition” book at Mack Tactics, I talk about the importance of having three or four special “date spots” that you can bring women to.) These places should be off the beaten path and have unique qualities, and you should be highly familiar with them. (Be on a first name basis with some of the staff, and ideally be friends with the manager/owner). By bringing women into these environments, you’re showing them something new, and demonstrating that you’re a knowledgeable guy who will broaden their horizons.) If you don’t drink alcohol, make it coffee—but make it an independent coffee shop with a funky atmosphere, not a Starbucks. It’s also usually better to invite her to do something with you, rather than ask her on a “date.” The whole idea of “going out on a date” carries with it certain expectations and pressures, doesn’t it? It’s much more chill to say to a girl, “I need to do some shopping this weekend…I need to pick up some new jeans, and a birthday gift for a friend. I’d love to get your advice, so why don’t we go together. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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169 If you help me pick out some things, lunch is on me.” BONUS TIP: MAKE HER COME INTO YOUR WORLD When most guys are interested in a woman, they try to win acceptance into her world. This is a critical mistake. An example would be: you meet a girl, and she invites you to “tag along” with her at a birthday party she is invited to. You’re eager to spend time with this girl, so you go along with her. But you have an awkward time at the party. You don’t know anyone there, and she’s too busy catching up with her friends to spend much time talking to you. Meanwhile, you’re not only trying to be cool and “score points” with the girl who brought you—you’ve also got to prove yourself to all of her friends. You don’t want to find yourself in this type of situation. Once you’re sleeping with a girl and she wants to bring you to meet her friends, cool, no problem. But in the early stages, where you’re trying to build up her attraction and seduce her, it’s important for you to project a sense of control over your environment—because being in control is a deeply attractive male quality. You want to take her into your world, and introduce her to people who already like and admire you. Hang out with her in environments where you’ve got built-in social proof. For a while, one of my best “date spots” was a business mixer that was held at an upscale bar/restaurant every Tuesday night. Free food, wine, and a cool crowd of young, sophisticated, successful people—many of whom I was friends with. Every time I introduced my date to one of these people I knew, I gained value in her eyes. She couldn’t help but be impressed that I knew all of these smart, attractive women, and sharp, successful men—all of whom were happy to see me. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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OK, on to my next point about controlling the way you date… When you want to make plans with her, don’t put the ball in her court. Don’t ever make it seem like you’re available whenever SHE has time to hang out. Project the sense that you’re a busy guy with lots of stuff going on, but you’re willing to fit her into YOUR schedule. For example:

Weak Move: “I was thinking, maybe if you’re free later in the week, we could see a movie or something…” Strong Move: “The next few days I’m booked up, but let’s get together on Friday night. There’s this awesome new lounge that I want to show you…they’ve got a killer DJ and my buddy the bartender makes the best mojitos in town.”

Next, don’t hang on the phone with her. Be a man on the move. A moving target. (After you’ve slept with her, you can extend the length of your phone chats. In the getting-to-know-her phase, keep phone time to a minimum.) It’s easy to get sucked into the trap of talking to her on the phone for as long as she wants to, because women have a tendency to want to talk endlessly. She has girlfriends (or gay friends) who can fill that role. You’re a man, and a men have other shit to do. You want to build a real connection with her, and that connection is not going to develop on the phone. View the phone as a tool to make plans with women, or confirm plans. It is not a substitute for real conversation and vibing.

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171 Any personal information that you reveal about yourself should be done in person. Hour-long phone calls, in which you exchange your entire biographies, means you’ll have far fewer things to talk about when you get together. Don’t broadcast the fact that you are single and looking. If she asks if you’ve been “seeing anyone,” you should give an answer like, “I’ve been seeing some different people, but nothing serious. I’m looking for a person I feel the right connection with, and I’m not in any hurry.” I admit, I used to break this rule all the time. I’d meet a girl, we’d start vibing, and within five or ten minutes she would ask me (usually in an indirect way) if I had a girlfriend. (Women have various sneaky ways to ask this question.) I would take the bait and immediately tell her that I was single -- broadcasting the fact that I was completely available, because I thought this would make her view me as a “possible boyfriend option.” Now I know better. You NEVER want her to think you’re completely 100% unattached and available, because it only implies negative things about you. The suspicious side of her female brain doesn’t say, “Wow, that’s good news. He’s single, and I’m single – we might have something here.” Her radar is more likely to tell her, “So what’s the catch? What’s wrong with this guy? How come he’s not dating anyone? Is he some weirdo stalker? Is he broke? Is he a closet homosexual?” etc. (Yes, some pretty wild thoughts do run through a woman’s head when she is trying to evaluate you.) These days, I’m actually juggling so many different women that I’ve started telling girls I meet that I do have a girlfriend, but we’ve been having problems lately and taking some “time off.” (Which is a little white lie, admittedly.) You’d be surprised how many women who will go for a guy who tells them up front he’s involved with another girl. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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This actually attracts a significant percentage of women because it presents you as a challenge—a man who is in demand, and has options. She knows you’re desirable (by saying you’ve got a girlfriend, this is implied), and due to her competitive female nature, when things move to the bedroom she’s going to want to give you hotter sex than your “girlfriend” does. A man always gets better sex from his mistress than he does from his wife. Why? Because the mistress has something to prove. She has a challenge to rise to; his wife knows she already won the game a long time ago, and therefore has no incentive to rock his world. These statements won’t earn me any points with the feminists, but it’s the stone cold truth.

Chapter 15: Challenges and Solutions For Men Who Want to Date Younger Women By Vin DiCarlo www.AttractionCodeBook.com The teaching of seduction, in the opinion of renowned dating coach Vin DiCarlo, is in need of an overhaul. His system, known as “DiCarlo DiClassified,” isn’t about canned routines and memorizing lines and patterns. He says he teaches his students (which include many older men) “applied seduction.” He believes that proper training has to be handson and done in real time, to replicate the interactions and energy of an actual pickup. “Imagine soccer practice was just some coaches talking in front of a classroom, versus a team Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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173 that practices and runs and shoots on the goal and actually does different drills,” he says. “It’s a world of difference.” Visit his website for more information on his products and his highly popular workshops.

When my instructors and I train men at our seminars, much of what we do is designed to remove the limiting beliefs guys have. We've heard it all. Girls only go for good-looking guys…you need to be rich…you need to be taller than her…you've got to have a cool car…Asian guys can't be good with pickup…the list is endless. One of the most common (and untrue) is, “I'm too old for younger women.” The problem with limiting beliefs is that they are EXTREMELY de-motivating, to the point where you don't want to even try. And you tend to create your own reality. When guys think “all the women in nightclubs are shallow,” I can pretty much guarantee they’re only going to meet shallow women when they go to clubs. One night, I was at a club with a guy who had this limiting belief, and he was shocked when I met one of the most down-to-earth, genuine, and beautiful women I’d ever come across. She had even made her dress by hand, in-between volunteering at the local animal shelter. True story! Anyway, I want to make the point that good game overcomes any boundary, and we can shatter your limiting beliefs in minutes when you see what good game can actually do.

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174 At the very minimum, you need to be OPEN to the idea that you’ve had it wrong up until this point— that you actually could be dating young, hot and amazing women right now, if you just knew how. Be open to the possibility that it is actually possible. Imagine you are a white canvas, with no paint on it yet. So in this chapter, I want to share with you some of my own methods for becoming better at approaching, talking to and dating younger women. Let's get to it…

The Mindset The first and most important mindset is that women like older men. Over the past 200-plus years, the United States government has been taking statistics for the age of couples getting married. Every year, there is a slightly wider gap between the ages of women and men who marry each other. That's right; women have always gone for older men. There are evolutionary reasons for this. Women are programmed to seek security and safety, which provide the best means to raise a child, and it's a safe bet that an older man will have increased world knowledge, and other important assets including personal skills and greater life experience.

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175 Society seems to force the view that it's older men who are chasing younger women, and that may be true to some extent, in more cases it’s the women who are looking to date older men. The second part of the proper mindset is knowing that if you dedicate yourself to pickup and really get into it, within two years you will be having more fun with women, and enjoying more sex than most guys get in their entire lifetime. The average guy only has sex with 4-7 women in his entire lifetime, although that's certainly not the story that the media seems to push onto guys. That means you can be a virgin at 50, and as long as you’re able to fight through your internal barriers, change your beliefs and ideas, and take action, within a few years (or even months) you can have a lifetime worth of fun. The key idea is to get started straight away, and lose the EXCUSES. Treat the next few months as practice, and tell yourself that it will be a fun learning experience. Don’t ever think that it’s “too late,” or that you’ve struggled with women for too long for you to make a dramatic change. If you have the mindset that you still have plenty of time left—and the truth is, you do—you are likely to take action and feel less guilty and filled with regret (big energy killers). You’ll be more relaxed, and you’re more likely to stay motivated. On the other hand, if you feel anxious and urgent because you “need to make up for lost time,” women are going to smell that desperation like cheap cologne.

Some Real Techniques: 1. Convey Youth

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176 How you convey your age is more important than the number of years you’ve been on this planet. By this, I mean be happy, have a youthful smile, and enjoy life. And certainly look at your jeans. (Yes, I’m serious!) In fact, go and look at some new jeans this week. I always see older guys wearing totally unfashionable jeans, and it’s one of the most obvious indicators that they have an old, out-of-touch mentality. Also take a cold, hard look at your hairstyle and wardrobe, and look to update them a bit. If you are happy, carefree, and loving life—and your wardrobe and personal style convey a youthful, fashionable edge—this is bound to make younger women notice. 2. Be Fun I often coach older guys who are a bit too serious. Picture four young women out on Friday night, having a good time, relaxing after a big week at work. They just want to kick back and have fun with a few drinks. If a guy starts talking with them about serious topics that lower their energy level, it’s just not going to fly. Women generally like older guys because they provide much more interesting conversation, and because they’re not predictable and one-dimensional like younger guys often are. The typical 25-year-old woman is more emotionally mature than the guys her age, and for this reason, she often finds herself more intrigued by older men. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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But there is a time and a place for being serious. Imagine what it feels like when you go from working hard at your job for months on end, and then taking a holiday and kicking back on a beach. This is the laidback, carefree type of energy you want to bring to your interactions with younger women. If you are having trouble lightening up and chilling out when you get involved in conversations with women, take a closer look at your reality and your lifestyle. If your reality and lifestyle are completely filled with work and seriousness, then it can be pretty difficult to instantly switch into “fun” mode when you’re out meeting women. “Serious” guys tend to watch serious movies and television shows (including a lot of TV news and politics, which can be quite depressing), and listen to music that isn’t in tune with the tastes of the younger generation. I suggest you switch up the types of shows, movies and music that you normally feel comfortable with. Try some TV shows like “Scrubs,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and “The Office,” which aren’t particularly deep or meaningful but are laugh-out-loud funny. Buy some magazines that are playful and fun. Listen to some music that is new and maybe a little trashy. This also gives you fun conversational topics to talk to women about. That hot 25-year-old babe at the bar might know a surprising amount about politics, but that doesn’t mean she wants to talk about it when she’s unwinding with a few drinks. Save the deeper discussions for once you’re dating her. Her first impression of you should be fun, playful and youthful. Some guys need to make a concerted effort to add some light stuff into their reality, so that being playful and relaxed around women isn’t such a challenge. When you talk to your friends, make an effort to not dwell on the serious stuff, and get in the habit of just being able to talk about stuff that is not that important and does not matter in the big picture of things. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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3. Go Out As guys get older, their social circles tend to shrink. Your friends get married, have kids, and are immersed in their own lives. Or maybe you’ve moved recently and haven’t developed much of a social scene in your new city. Perhaps you just don’t go out much anymore, because you feel a little too “old” to be hanging around at the bars and clubs like you used to. This may seem obvious, but you must get out of the house and make an effort to socialize. Maybe combine your socializing with an interest or hobby. Personal development groups always seem to be filled with attractive women. If you’ve always been shy, then it’s time to shake that off and become more social. Make it one of your goals to make at least two people feel good about themselves, every week. This will lead to a multitude of friends, and people liking you. Break any patterns of judging people, or staying in your shell, and make an effort to say hello and make friendships. You'd be surprised how easy it is to do once you get started.

Specific Age-Related Issues: Do you lie about your age, or tell the truth? It's best to tell the truth, but in my opinion, you don't have to tell her your age straight away. Women may want all the information on you immediately, but you don't have a responsibility to tell her everything upfront and in the first few minutes, or even Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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179 hours. Use intrigue, and reveal things about yourself over time. If every time she hangs out with you, you reveal some new talent or hobby of yours, she’ll be endlessly curious and interested in knowing more about you. This is much more effective than reeling off your list of accomplishments and interests in the first thirty minutes you spend talking to her. Women will often use standard job interview-type questions when they first meet a man—such as your age, your job, where you live, etc. It’s better to bypass this “Q&A” and engage women on a fun, more creative level. Stimulate that side of her, and don’t cater to her analytical and probing side—where she’s asking the questions, you’re trying to come up with the “right” answers, and she’s running it all through her mental computer and figuring out whether you’re the type of guy she should be interested in. What do you do with her friends? One problem you may face when dating younger women is that she may be less likely to introduce you to her friends and family. Some guys can get offended by this, and see this as a sign that the woman is putting limits on how serious she considers the relationship to be. The best approach is to focus on shaping and living in the “now” and enjoying the time you spend with her. Older guys sometimes fall into the trap of thinking ahead too much, and getting too serious with any young woman that show them attention. It may take a while for a woman to picture herself in a long-term relationship with you, and if you try and force it too early, it can backfire. (When you put pressure on her to make a commitment, it always conveys a sense of urgency and desperation on your part—very unattractive qualities.) Many times, I’ve seen younger women think that a long-term relationship with an older guy just isn’t in the cards. But the more time they spend with the guy, the more their feelings change. What about online dating? Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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I think that when you’re dealing with an age gap, meeting women face-to-face is especially important because you can have a chance to have fun with her before she screens you based on age. But online dating is a good way to increase your exposure to women, and it can be a key part of a lifestyle that involves constantly interacting with new people. I recommend you incorporate online dating into your lifestyle. You’re likely to get “hung up” on one particular woman, and put all your eggs in that basket, when she’s the only option on your radar. If you’re meeting women on your social scene, and regularly emailing and chatting with new women online, you’ll never feel that you NEED to make it happen with a certain girl. You’ve got a Plan B, a Plan C, and so on. What are some more specifics on approaching and dating younger women? One of the best naturals I ever met was 40 years old. He was the guy who would pick up a girl EVERY time we would go out, and often within minutes. He would roll into a club and he'd be kissing women before I got my first drink. Sometimes these were hot college girls, and he had bad teeth and was small, short and pretty skinny. But my God, he was dominant! He was cocky, bordering on arrogant. He could be pushy. He’d touch women long before most guys would think it was appropriate to do so. But it worked! On the other hand, most older guys are limited by terrible imaginary rules about pickup and dating—like making physical contact with a woman you just met is wrong, or you shouldn’t approach groups of younger women because they’ll only shut you out. Believe me, the list is endless for what I call “creative avoidance”—the silly justifications that men come up with, for not going after what they want.

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181 Follow the standard rules of pickup. According to my method, these rules include: 1. Approach first, think later 2. Start touching straight away (not in a creepy way—find creative, subtle ways to establish body contact. This can be as simple as high-fiving her after you agree on something funny.) 3. Look to move her to a different location pretty quickly (this could be another area of the bar) 4. Escalate: physically, logistically, and by going for the “pull” or the phone number. (But save the heavy physical escalation for when you’re one-on-one with her.) 5. Never be the typical “nice guy”; don’t act needy or timid 6. Enjoy women. Don't treat them as objects, have fun with them. I want to reinforce the idea that pickup is easy. Younger women are not that hard to meet and date. In fact, that young hottie you’ve got your eye on is eager to meet an older guy who brings value to their life, makes her feel safe and protected, and takes her mind off the stresses and problems of her reality. Why shouldn’t that guy be you?

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Chapter 16: Putting Younger Women In “Pursuit Mode” By Dean Cortez

Does he REALLY like me…or is he just playing games, like he does with ALL his girls? This is what should be running through her head while you tease and flirt with her. It makes her want to keep playing the game. Whenever she’s with a guy like this, she’ll want to look her best, and act her sexiest, in order to get the confirmation she craves. The key is to NEVER give her total confirmation. When a woman is attracted to you, she desperately wants to know if the feeling is mutual! (Remember what I told you earlier, about how men and women judge “success.”) You can work women into a frenzy this way…by NEVER letting the girl know that she’s “won.” For this reason, you must never tell her how long you’ve wanted to ask her out, admit how attracted you are to her, or tell her how you think the two of you would be “great together.” If these sound like winning romantic gestures, turn off your television, because you’ve been watching too many Hollywood movies. Only in the movies can the dork or the shy guy win over the hottest girl in school in the end because he makes some grand, romantic declaration. In reality, it’s more likely that she’ll regard this as weakness on your part. (And remember how I said emotional STRENGTH is one of the big keys to Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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183 attraction.) Nine times out of ten, your “confession” isn’t going to prompt her to confess her own attraction to you. It will only take you down a notch in her eyes. You are no longer an original; you are just another guy who can’t control his emotions or his libido. Play it cool and act like nothing fazes you. You’re a train moving full-steam ahead. The choice is hers: she can climb onboard and take an exciting ride, or you can roll without her to the next stop. Either way, you’re an independent guy, doing your own thing. Another advantage of using the Tactics I teach is that if you use the right conversational techniques and “build the bridge” (as I explain in detail in the “Ultimate Edition” book), it will become clear whether she is interested in you on a sexual level. You won’t be shooting in the dark, worrying that she’ll freak out if you try to touch her. When you follow the correct progression of steps, escalating from conversation to physical touching, you’ll never have to wonder whether she “likes you as a friend” or whether she’s interested in more. You’ll know how to read her signals, and your Tactics will be gently leading her down the path to “yes”…instead of giving her reasons to say “oh, look at the time…I should be getting home soon.” Evaporate the physical boundaries between you by making body contact with her. The best times to do so are when you’re both laughing. Reach over and give her a knee a light touch. High-five her and interlace your fingers with her, then disengage. What you’re doing is acclimating her to your touch, so that it becomes something she is comfortable with. This way, later in the night when you hold her hand, kiss her for the first time, or initiate the foreplay that leads to sex, she’s already “warmed up” to your touch. Guys will often fail to escalate because they don’t want to be seen as too aggressive. (It’s just an excuse, really, for not wanting to risk rejection—and Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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184 they’re not confident that she will agree to the escalation, because they haven’t laid the right groundwork.) If you’ve laid the groundwork, made her physically comfortable with you, and built up her attraction by framing yourself as a hard-to-get “prize,” she’ll be receptive when you take things to the next level. But it’s on you to lead her there. I remember one time having a girl sleep over at my house, in my bed, and I didn’t “try anything” because I didn’t want to screw it up. We lay there together and talked for hours, then she drifted off to sleep while I laid next to her all night with a hard-on. I figured there was no hurry, and that if I acted like a gentleman she’d trust me and we’d have sex next time. Unfortunately, there was no “next time.” She never called me again. By not escalating with her, she viewed me as a Wuss, and she may have even felt a little bit insulted. She’s an intelligent, sexually experienced adult. She knew what was supposed to follow when she willingly climbed into my bed and laid down next to me. But I failed to lead her down that path. The key is to BUILD UP to intimacy and sex with a progression of steps. Perhaps the biggest mistake that guys make is trying to seduce women before the groundwork has been laid. You don’t ask a girl out on a date before you’ve spent time chatting with her and getting her interested in you. Likewise, you shouldn’t go for a kiss when you haven’t even laid a finger on her all night. You build up to the first kiss by making contact with her throughout the evening: touching her leg while you tell a story; giving her a brief hand massage; brushing her hair back from her eyes; placing your hand on the small of her back as you guide her through a door…etc. (The small of her back is actually a GREAT spot to make contact with. It’s an erogenous zone that is dense with nerve endings.) If there is a mutual attraction, let her be the one to express her Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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185 feelings to YOU, and when she does, play it even more cool. If she says something that implies she likes you and wants to date you, give a vague response that strings her along. HER: “So what you do you think...y’know, about you and me?” YOU: “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you. Let’s just take it slow and see where it goes...no pressure, no expectations.” (The more you seem like you don’t really give a shit either way, the more DESPERATELY she’ll want you to validate her feelings!) But don’t give her that validation. Keep her wondering: will she ever be able to have you all for herself, or will you be with another girl tomorrow when she’s waiting for your phone call? She’ll want to keep earning points with you, to get the confirmation that she desires. In the meantime, you are the one holding the cards.

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Chapter 17: The Universal Secret - And Why We Can’t Succeed With Women Without It By Nick Sparks www.Get-Hot-Women.com Why is it that sometimes we can light up a room, while other times members of the opposite sex turn away from us in disinterest? Could the answer to all of our “consistency issues” be right under our noses? I'll tell you the answer, but I'll have to explain myself first for it to sink in. The difference between really connecting with people and not - the thing that every “natural seducer” is always doing in spades, without even thinking about it – comes down to simply speaking the universal language. Cliché tells us that love is the universal language; however, this is only partially true and isn't helpful for people looking for the translation - the Rosetta Stone so to speak. I actually have to thank an old smoking habit for helping me stumble upon it. Back in college, I had the pesky habit of bumming cigarettes. In fact, I did it so much that I got really good at it. I even developed my own little method. Despite having the best method in the world, it became clear that whether or not I got a cigarette really depended on one thing: You can try it yourself and get front row seats to the effects. First, go up to 10 people, ask them for a cigarette, and avoid eye contact and look indifferent. Next, go up to another 10 people, ask them for a cigarette - only this time look them

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187 directly in the eye and act as though you are in intense pain and that they hold the key to your freedom. Everyone reading this who's ever been a smoker is with me on this. When I look into the eyes of a smoker with a look on my face that he or she can fully relate to - that I really need a cigarette - they feel that same pain as they are reminded of their own times of distress. When they feel that pain and can't help but want to relieve it in another. Ages before complex systems of naming and describing objects came into human existence, humans beings were communicating. Although the vast majority of us have a firm grasp over at least one of these systems, all of the communication that matters the most happens in the same way as it has for our entire existence of our humanity. A quick look at an on-line thesaurus gives us over 30 words for “angry,” but if a 300lb man has the look on his face that says he's pissed, everyone who gets even the quickest look at him is getting out of his way. We need language to hammer out the fine details of a business contract—but how many people would actually do business with someone they didn't trust, who didn't give them the feeling that they had ulterior motives?

With that in mind, here's how you always get your openers to “stick:” The phrase, "you can tell a lot about a man by his handshake" has been around for awhile. More recently though, this has been taken to mean that one should attempt to squeeze another person's hand as firmly as possible, to show how "confident" they are.

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188 When you greet someone, you can tell a lot about them by their handshake, or more specifically, how they greet you in general. The “firmness” of the greeting, however, isn't how you can tell (even though a firm handshake will often happen as a byproduct). You can tell this by looking right at the person to see if his eyes are meeting yours and if he has a look of warmth on his face. If you approach a woman, and they look at you and your eyes aren't meeting hers (theirs) and you don't have a look of warmth on your face, she will get the same feeling you get when you're working with a person that you just don't feel right about, you just don't trust, and you ultimately decide not to work with. Let me make two things clear: If you’re thinking about your “opener” when you approach a woman, or maybe just feeling shy, you will not be looking into her eyes, you will not have a warm expression on your face, and she'll get that feeling that no human likes to feel. If you start thinking about what to say during a conversation, or question whether or not she likes you, your eyes will drift, your face will become expressionless, and she will definitely get that feeling. Plus there's one more important factor to consider: Women are much better at feeling this stuff than guys, and herein lies the apparent solution, and also the new problem. On the one hand - success in communication, in being charismatic or a “natural,” lies in your ability to express emotion vividly on your face, and in turn make others feel that emotion. Without that, we're merely self-aware computers exchanging information. And the last thing a woman wants when she goes out is to exchange information. She wants to feel. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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On the other hand, it's never quite that simple. Human beings, especially women, have a keen intuition for when someone has their own self-interests in mind, rather than hers. It's the same as when you just know that a bad salesman has his commission in mind as he's talking to you. It just feels “off.” It's not just selfish thinking that can give another person this feeling. It's thinking about anything other than the person that you're communicating with. And you can't just act like you're feeling something for this to work. When you try to look happy while you're thinking negative thoughts, it's just weird. You actually have to feel these things yourself for them not to trip her bullshit meter. Of course, this isn't always the easiest thing to do. Often, when we've been hurt in the past, we don't put ourselves “out there” as much in order to reduce the risk of additional pain. One of the ways people do this is to become more soft-spoken, or to withdraw emotion from their face when they speak and "act cool.” Most of us found out at an early age that it doesn't really sting when someone shoots down our words, but if we put our heart into something and get rejected, then there's a pain that can make a child cry. As adults, we are strong enough to take this pain, but many of us fear that it will be as bad as when we were still developing psychologically. In order to relieve this anxiety, our society has made it increasingly easier to retreat from putting yourself out there. Email and social networking sites are amazing advancements in communications and make our world much smaller. The problem arises when we use these technologies as a “mental crutch” to avoid actual human interaction. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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That's why I wasn't surprised in the least to hear about studies that show that the people who are the most active on Facebook often report feeling the loneliest. As easy as it would be, we can't simply blame Facebook. How many people that you work with on a day-to-day basis do you really try to connect with, and how many do you shoot a couple passing words to, without strong eye contact and a warm expression on your face? If you don't do it as a natural habit with everyone you meet, it'll be even more awkward to try and do it with women.

Pay attention the next time you're out at a bar, and here's what you'll see: There will be some people having a good time. They're laughing, moving around, speaking at a higher decibel than everyone else, and looking each other in the eyes with genuine emotions that they're definitely feeling on their faces. On the flip side of the coin, you'll have people, usually around the outskirts of the “fun people,” who have that look on their face that they're not quite “there,” that something's on their mind, and that it's probably not the most positive of subjects. It's easy to identify these people; their faces are lacking all but forced acts of emotion. They're not moving; even if they’re talking to a friend, they look as though they're not really enjoying the conversation; their eyes are looking down more than at the other person, or maybe they're looking at their phone. This is because they’re trying to take their minds off of the anxiety they're feeling. And yet they came to the bar for the same reason as everyone else! They want to be the “fun people.” Just about every person has been there before, and it's an amazing feeling—when you're having the best time, lighting up Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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191 emotionally, talking more loudly, and of course attracting more of the opposite sex than ever before. You're “in the zone.” The next morning though, we're usually a bit hungover, and we know we had an incredible time the night before—the problem is, we can't remember how to get that feeling back. We search high and low, trekking out to the bar night after night (women do this too, by the way) and start drinking with our fingers crossed that it's going to happen again—maybe with some lines that we believe will do the work of getting it back for us. The thing is, we do know how to get that feeling back. We've simply forgotten. When we see a baby crying or smiling, only the most emotionally checked out people can’t help but feel upset or happy, respectively. When we see genuine emotion in another person, we can't help but feel the reflection of that emotion in ourselves. We’re subconsciously drawn towards those who make us feel positive emotions, and repelled by people who make us feel negative emotions. Love-hate relationships are especially dangerous because they literally tear us apart. Now here's the fun effect of all of this: By looking straight into another person's eyes with genuine emotion while focusing strongly on her emotions - unless she's feeling an equally strong negative emotion - you will cause her to feel that emotion and subconsciously become more drawn to you. If you don't, she won't. This should clear up any questions that guys have as to why they're having “inconsistency issues” in their attempts to go out and succeed with younger women. The bottom line is, sometime's she's feeling you, quite literally; and sometimes she's not. In most cases, this is due to your energy level and emotional state. An Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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192 interaction with a younger woman that goes nowhere could have gotten you the result you wanted—if you’ve made the effort to connect with her in this way. Making a conscious effort to connect with women this way might feel awkward or clumsy at first. But as with any other skill, practice—and taking things slowly— are the keys to improvement.

It's what every natural is doing without knowing it - and by following these same principles, any guy can become a natural. Practice this as much as possible. Start with family, friends, co-workers, people at the corner store, everyone. Soon people that have known you forever will be smiling and saying those words we all love to hear: "There's something different about you.” When you go to the bar, instead of scanning the bar for a hot chick that you can approach in 3 seconds or less, get in a circle with your friends and do what I affectionately call the “bro circle.” Whether there's 2 or 10 of you, get animated and start sending out positive energy. Remember, you're only as strong as your weakest link, so make sure that everyone is pulling the line. Talk at a higher decibel, move around, talk with your hands, have looks of genuine expression on your faces and look each other in the eye. The great thing about this is that half the time, you forget about the bro circle and actually start having a lot more fun with your friends. The jokes and funny stories start flowing. You'll actually feel the emotion. This energy is contagious… And then you'll start to notice “the looks.” All of the girls that are around the periphery will start emoting, themselves.

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193 They'll talk more loudly, move more, have more expression on their faces, and yes, start to glance in your direction. They now want you to approach them. They probably don't rationalize what just happened. But they felt a little hint of that feeling they all came to the bar in the first place to feel, and they're drawn to it. Social skills with approaching strangers and escalating interactions are very important skills to develop. If you aren’t developing these universal skills, which will allow you to powerfully communicate with anyone, anytime, anywhere, then you'll always face inconsistencies in your interactions. Also, don't be surprised that when, through tapping into this, you re-realize your infinite power to strongly connect with anyone, and things start going much better in every other aspect of your life. As you begin to pay closer attention to people and how they respond to your energy, you'll notice that the majority of us are a bit withdrawn and often appear anxious or lost. There is no better time to remind people of what we are all looking for. Sometimes the answers we're all looking for have been right in front of us. When you put these principles into practice, don’t be surprised when you start attracting beautiful younger women into your life—and to have new guys you meet look at you as a “natural” seducer of women.

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Chapter 18: The Maverick Principle By Dean Cortez

As a confident guy, you should be fitting women into your schedule, not the other way around. Don’t be easy to pin down. This places you in a category of men she isn’t used to dealing with, and it reverses the traditional rules of courtship: normally, women are the ones who play “hard to get” and make it difficult for men to schedule plans with them. As a successful, confident, you are the one who is occupied with other things, and you see women on your terms. In today’s dating world, this sets you apart as a true maverick. Most guys will hang on the phone for as long as she was wants to talk, even if it means listening to her complain about her sex life with her ex-boyfriend for an hour. Whenever she’s free, these guys will put everything else aside to talk to her, or spend time with her. Women grow bored with this type of man. If he’s always available, it’s a sign that he has nothing else going on his life, and that no other women are interested in him. Women are intrigued by a man who is a hot commodity, not a guy who is free any time she is available. So instead of immediately accepting her offer the next time she invites you to hang out, create I.O.U.’s. (This is a kick-ass Mack Tactics technique that I fully explain in the “Ultimate Edition” book, available at Women Persuasion Secrets.) When a girl calls this type of guy to say “me and my friends are going to the Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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195 bar tonight, do you want to meet up later?”, he won’t commit right away. Even if he has no plans this evening, he’ll project the image of a busy guy. He’ll say “I have some people I need to see (or some business I need to handle), but maybe later I can make an appearance.” (I love that phrase, “make an appearance.” It makes you sound like a celebrity who will be gracing them with your presence.) Then, he may choose to not show up at all. He’ll tell her the next day “Sorry, something came up.” (He won’t offer an explanation.) This only increases his allure and the sense that he is a “commodity.” The next time they do hang out, she’s going to make an extra effort to entice him. She knows he is in demand, and she won’t want to let him slip through her fingers. Again, you are turning the tables. Normally, on a date, it’s the guy who is eagerly trying to impress the woman and “score points” with her. When a woman is on a date with you, she is the one trying to score points and capitalize on a limited window of opportunity. A very important note before we move on: when you do meet up with a girl—whether it’s for a date, or you’re meeting her and her friends at a club—I’m not suggesting that you should act arrogant or aloof, like you’ve got somewhere more important to be. When you are not with her and she wants to see you, you’ve got to play a little bit “hard to get.” But when you are with her, you must be completely focused on her. You’re totally attentive and “in the moment.” This makes her even MORE eager to see you again, because you make her feel special. But it’s always going to be on your terms, on your schedule. Also, women tend to be flaky and be late to appointments, but you should always be punctual. Your time is precious, and if she makes a habit of showing up late to meet you, you’ve got to call her on it. Most guys will act like it’s no big deal Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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196 when she shows up at the restaurant 20 minutes late: “Oh, don’t worry about, it’s fine…” Instead, you should call her on it: “Wow, this is the second time you’ve been late to meet me. What’s up with that?” Say it with a smile—you don’t want to sound pissed—but make sure she gets the message: you’re not cool with people showing up 20 minutes late to an appointment with you. And you’re not going the typical spineless-nice guy route and excusing her behavior. After she babbles her apology and explains her lateness, switch gears and move onto a fun topic. Just make sure that seed is planted in her mind: your time is valuable, and must be respected. By showing up late, she tested you -- and you passed with flying colors.

Be A Leader The older men I’ve observed, who have tremendous success with younger women, understand how to be a leader. When he goes out for a meal, he knows what he likes to eat, and he has a list of favorite restaurants around town. He knows which movies are playing, and the one he wants to see. He has his favorite clubs and bars, and when he shows up, a bartender or a waitress will always welcome him by name. And when he arranges a date with a woman, he doesn’t ask her opinion on where they should go. His plan is mapped out. She gets to come along for the ride. Weak Move: “So what do you feel like doing tonight?” Strong Move: “I’ll pick you up at eight, we’re going to have some fun. Wear something sexy.”

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197 (This is an excellent Tactic. Tell her what to wear. You don’t need to be specific; just say “wear something sexy.” She’ll be thinking about you, and winning your approval, for the entire two hours it takes her to select her outfit and get ready.) Women respect, and follow, a man who leads. As a man, this is part of your masculine duty. It is expected of you. When men defer to women and don’t want to make decisions, women grow irritated with them because they’re being forced to play the masculine role in the relationship, and this is not natural. Look at all the pathetic married guys who constantly give in to their wives’ demands, and let them run the show. Do their wives appreciate it? Hell no! It makes them henpeck their husbands even worse. Because women, contrary to how they might act, don’t want to be the “boss” all the time. They’re wishing their man would show a backbone and behave like an Alpha Male. When it’s time to schedule a date, figure out in advance where you want to take her, so that you never appear unsure. Project an air of self-assuredness at all times. As long as you lead, and keep them interested in the “challenge,” women will follow…into your bedroom, and beyond.

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Chapter 19: Achieving the Right Image and Attitude By Lucas West http://www.DemonicConfidence.com Full disclosure: as I write this, I’m 32 years old. I may not exactly qualify as an “older guy” to many of you. But that being said, the girl I’m currently dating is 8 years younger than I am. The one before her was nine years younger. And, for a brief moment, I had my taste of a nineteen-year-old while on a visit to foreign lands. Any more of an age gap, and I’d probably be breaking the law. I suppose that on the surface, you’d think there is a vast difference between 25 and 45. In a relationship, 1o years apart seems to be socially acceptable; 20 or 30 is bound to raise some eyebrows. However, your success with younger women is not dependent on how old you are, or how large the gap is. The approach you use for a woman your age will also work for someone younger—with a few minor tweaks. Your success really comes down to three things: 1. The image you present to the world. 2. The beliefs/thoughts you have running around in your head, your mindset. 3. Your selection criteria (ie how you select who you’re going to approach) Those are the same three things you’d focus on if there weren’t any age gap. Only the variables within each group change a little. Women are women; the psychology of a woman doesn’t change with age. Only her focus does.

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1. Your Image When I talk about your image, I don’t mean the way you dress (though that is an element of it). The image we’re concerned with is the one that she forms based on your external appearance, your way of moving through the world, how you carry yourself, what you say, how you interact with others, etc. You want to be in total control of the kind of person she thinks you are. Women don’t just go for what’s on the surface. She’s asking herself “what kind of person is he on the inside?” The answer that you should have ready for her should be something that overpowers any resistance to your age, looks, height, weight, or anything else that is outside her normal “type.” Women go for men who have what they want. That’s really what it boils down to:

Do you have what she wants? Sure, some of them want you to be Brad Pitt (who is over 40, by the way. But, he’s perceived as youthful because he’s presented that way). But, they’ll gladly put aside good looks and age if you have everything else she’s been looking for. With age comes many benefits. Experience, security, understanding, and social status are all byproducts of getting older. If you want to attract younger women, forget about the age difference and focus on the benefits that come from being older. But your actions must speak louder than words. You can’t just talk about being more experienced and mature than men her age. It has to be seen to be believed. If you have to tell her, then you’re not doing it right.

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200 You have to start asking yourself, “What are the qualities that make me attractive, despite my age?” And, honestly, if I were you, I’d even drop that last part about your age. Just ask yourself, why would anyone, regardless of how old she is, want to be dating you? I can promise you this: if you have attractive qualities that make you desirable to women in general, then you definitely have qualities that younger women will also find attractive. While the mindset of a woman does change as she gets older, they’re all still attracted to the fundamentals. Demonstrate to everyone around you that you’re the man they either want to be, or the man they want to be with. Up to a certain point, you want to present yourself as youthfully masculine. Don’t get an earring and dye your hair blonde. Just take care of your body; eat right and exercise. Display healthiness, and you’ll be associated with youthfulness. Wear clothes that look good, and make you seem like you’ve opened up a copy of GQ Magazine in the past year. You should be doing that no matter how old you are, but if you want to seem especially younger, you shouldn’t be the kind of guy who looks like he needs to relax at home after a hard day of work. Engage in strenuous physical activity. Hit the gym, go hiking or ride a bike. Take dance classes. If you don’t feel old, you won’t look old. Besides, younger women don’t go for the stay-at-home types. They’re more likely to go for you if you’re bursting with energy. If you’re clean-shaven or have a beard or a mustache, try trading it in for the “haven’t shaved in two days” stubble. Studies have shown that women find this look attractive. Again, it connotes a young, yet maturing appearance. It also demonstrates a little rebelliousness, especially in older men.

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201 Remember, it’s all in service to the image she’ll make up in her head. In there, you need to seem youthful, energetic, strong, experience, able to take care of her and satisfy her. If you can conjure and cultivate the portrait of a capable man, the age difference will have little meaning.

2. Your Mindset What you project as your image has its roots in what you’re thinking right now. Who do you believe yourself to be? What do you feel are the boundaries of your capabilities? Let me ask you this: right now, do you feel like you can easily pick up a desirable 25 year old? Do you feel that you’re at a disadvantage because of your age? Over the years, I’ve heard every excuse in the book, and I can tell you that there are almost as many 25 year old guys who don’t think they can get a 25 year old girl, as there are 45 year olds who think the same way. It’s not your age; it’s your beliefs about your age that hold you back. As I pointed out earlier, getting older has its benefits. But what if you were to truly believe that your age isn’t something to hide? What if you were proud of how old you are? Here’s a paradigm shift to think about: It’s not your age that’s the issue; it’s hers that might be the issue. What if she’s too inexperienced and too naive? You’re the right age, but she has to prove to you that she’s wise beyond her years. Or, at the very least, willing to learn from you. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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For some guys, believing this will take some work. Changing beliefs isn’t the easiest thing in the world, especially if there are a whole bunch of other beliefs tangled up in them. With patience and determination, however, you can start to believe that you have an advantage over younger men. If you believe in yourself, possibilities open up. The major factor here is confidence and self-assuredness. I mean this in several ways. Not only does it mean that you’ve got self-esteem and believe in your own self-worth, but you’re also fearless and will go after whatever it is that you want. That means you don’t think twice about approaching a 20 or 30something woman. Project the sense that a man of your stature and confidence has gotten with younger women before; this should look easy. You must exude the feeling that you’ve done this before, and being with a younger woman is nothing out of the ordinary. If you can truly grasp that and make it part of your belief system, then you will project it to her. It will make it that much easier for her to forget about the age difference. Let me clarify that. Being with a younger woman has to seem par for the course, but you still want her to feel special. You’re not going after her because you need a younger woman.

You’re interested in her because she seems

interesting as a person. You just don’t want her to feel that her age is a big deal to you. This kind of confidence comes from experience. It comes from making a concerted effort to be comfortable in that kind of situation. If you’re comfortable with women around your age, start frequenting places with a slightly younger age bracket (eg coffee shops), and start interacting slightly outside of your comfort zone. Work your way slowly, over the course of a few months, to the age group you want. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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If you’re 40, don’t jump into a 20 year old’s world without experiencing some 30 year old and mid-late 20s women first. Your mind and nervous system prefers gradual change, and it’s best to approach it that way if you want to acquire a new set of permanent beliefs.

3. Your Selection Criteria I have a 55 year old friend of mine who lives in India. Every Monday, he goes to an American karaoke bar and sings a few tunes. He doesn’t have the best voice in the world, but it is certainly a powerful one. After his first number, he buys a handful of people around him a round of drinks. Over the course of a few weeks from when he started, he’s become the guy that everybody knows. Even in India, a place far more conservative than our United States (and the rest of the western world), he’s been able to pick up several women under thirty at that bar. That’s because he embodies confidence and makes his presence felt. As a result, he has social status. At that bar, he’s near the top of the pecking order. It’s a mindset that he has cultivated, and one that is accurately sent out as his image. The two cannot be separated. * Side Note: People (men and women both) defer to a man who takes care of them. I’ve mentioned buying drinks twice before. Supposedly, in the seduction circle, that’s a sign of weakness. You’re not supposed to “buy” her affection or attention. But when a man isn’t using it in a subservient manner, when he isn’t trying to impress her, it leaves a different impression. My friend buys drinks for a group of people; the girl he’s interested in just happens to be within that group. If you buy her a drink with the attitude that, “Of course I’m going to buy

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204 you a drink. I take care of all my friends this way,” it comes across quite a bit better. I think, with age, comes more of a requirement to take care of women. The older you get, the more likely you’ll have to provide for the woman you select. Certainly, you’ll be expected to pick up the tab. No matter who you select, she’s looking for some type of demonstration of the pecking order. You’re expected to be at the top because you’re older. Those at the top take care of the ones underneath him. Don’t mistake this to mean you pay for everything. It’s not like you have to pay for her college tuition. Just a demonstration is all that’s required. It shouldn’t look like a demonstration, either. My friend has found a place that, for him, works well. He’s able to demonstrate his authority and youthfulness among all age groups. I think you’ll benefit in finding the same. Some bars, coffee shops, and even something like night classes, would have a varied age group. Of course, it isn’t necessary to go “somewhere.” If you’re confident in yourself, you’ll be able find women anywhere. But, for the sake of practice, it’s a good idea to find place where you can become a regular and befriend a few people (yes, even men) younger than you are. One more thing to consider is that there are some women who are more likely to disregard the age gap than others. In my experience, the more intelligent the woman, the more likely mature the man she dates. It’s not an inalterable rule, obviously, but it’s a good starting point to find receptive girls. Also, the more “alternative” she is (in the way she dresses and what she believes in), the more likely she’ll overlook the age difference. A vegetarian, for example, has an alternative mindset. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Ask yourself, “Why am I seeking out a younger woman?” I know, the real answer is because you and I both want a smoking hot chick in our beds so we can say, “I’ve still got it.” Besides that, find some other answers for yourself. What are you looking for? Come up with some good answers that ring true for you, and seek those types of women out. If you have a clearer goal, it’s easier to attain.

A Final Note Finding a younger woman is not much different from finding one your age. You just have to be surer of yourself, more confident, and demonstrate capability and authority. Failure comes from a weak image; you cannot waver. Change your beliefs about what you’re capable of doing. If you take it slowly, you can really surprise yourself. Then, go out there and take some chances. Use your age to your advantage. It’s not about pulling the wool over her eyes so that she believes you to be someone you’re not. It’s about becoming the kind of man she’s always dreamt of. Many women are looking for the kind of guy you are. You just have to really be that guy. You can do this. And if you need any help in getting there, I’m here to help.

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Chapter 20: Important Qualities to Project To Younger Women By Dean Cortez One of the older man’s best assets is his ability to make younger women feel stable, secure and protected. “Protecting” her, in today’s society, rarely has anything to do with your physical size or your ability to physically defend her. A successful modern man radiates strength through his words and actions. For example, demonstrating that you are decisive is a very important way to convey strength. Loyalty and commitment are other forms of strength that women find highly attractive. These are things you should imply rather than say outright. By telling her a quick story about how you came through for a friend of yours—because you’re committed to your friends, and you feel loyalty is important—you’re planting seeds in her mind that you possess these qualities. This type of story can be simple, and you can tell it at any time. You don’t need to wait until the subject of loyalty comes up. Just create a segue. Here’s an example: HER: “My job has been so crazy lately (blah blah blah…)” YOU: “I’ve also been super busy. And on top of that, my friend Michelle asked me to help her move on Sunday. I need to be at her place at 7 in the morning to help her load a truck full of stuff. I’ll be exhausted, because I’ve got a party to be at on Saturday night, but she’s been there for me in the past and she’s earned a place in my inner circle. So I told her I’d help, and I don’t break commitments.”

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207 Now that was an effective answer. Look at how many indicators of your value were loaded into that reply. You stressed how much you value loyalty and commitment. You also pointed out that you’ve got female friends in your inner circle, which implies that you’re popular among women. Plant those seeds, and she’ll take note of them. Women are always filtering our words and actions through their mental computers. And never forget: while we’re always looking for reasons to qualify attractive women (to justify our desire to have sex with them), their minds are searching for reasons to disqualify us. If we meet a hot girl, we’ll usually overlook the deficiencies in her character and her personality, or habits of hers that we would never tolerate in an unattractive girl, because we’re focused on getting her into bed. (This is especially true when it comes to beautiful younger women. She might be a needy drama queen with the I.Q. of a door knob, but if she’s got amazing tits and a rock-hard body, we’re interested!!) Women, on the other hand, seek to find reasons to disqualify men. You could have attractive qualities—whether it’s the way you dress, what you do for a living, or your sense of humor—but if you show weakness in a certain area, she may mentally disqualify you in an instant. Some guys trigger all kinds of red flags when they talk to younger women, and never realize where they went wrong. Have you ever been on a date that you thought went well, and even though you didn’t hook up at the end of the night, you figured there was a serious possibility that she would become your next girlfriend? But when you called her to arrange a second date, she was suddenly extremely “busy” and couldn’t commit to making any plans…or didn’t return your phone call? Before I started improving my game, that sort of thing happened to me on a regular basis. I couldn’t understand how a girl who seemed so enthusiastic on our Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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208 first date would then come up with excuses not to go on a second date. Or, I’d meet a girl in a bar and have a great conversation with her, but when I’d call her a couple of days later to plan a date, she wouldn’t call me back. It’s now clear to me what I had done on those dates that had caused women to disqualify me. I’m able to identify the things I did, and said, that raised red flags in her mind and got me disqualified. Sometimes, one mistake is all it takes for her to dismiss you mentally, and move onto the next. Remember, beautiful young women always have other options. Women disqualify men for instinctive reasons all the time. The other day, I was talking to a sexy female friend of mine, Christine, about a date she’d been on the night before. She’d met the guy on the Internet and this was their first time meeting face-to-face. According to her, he had been sweet, funny, and “really cute” (her words). He brought her flowers, and took her out to a restaurant where their dinner and wine cost over $150. But after they said goodnight (with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek), she had no desire to ever see him again. She’d disqualified him. I asked her why, and she couldn’t really explain. She said “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t feel the right chemistry.” I was curious, so I asked her to explain the date in detail. It then became obvious to me what he’d done to turn her off. He had broadcasted his interest. He told her, on that very first date, how he was looking for someone to settle down with. At the end of the date he told her “I really like you, and I think there might be potential for a relationship here.” Then he asked her if she was available the following night to go out again. (I’m literally groaning as I write this…it’s such a direct violation of the principles laid out in the Mack Tactics book. Visit my How To Pick Up Girls blog and you can read some great articles that provide more details on this.)

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209 Anyway, Mr. Internet Romeo thought he was just being sincere and honest. But what he was actually doing was surrendering control. He was letting her know, “I’m yours if you want me. Now, it’s your call.” To Christine, he no longer presented any sort of challenge. The sexual tension they’d built up over the past few weeks, chatting on Yahoo! Messenger and emailing, was suddenly gone. Also, by trying to set up a date for the following night, her mind registered another red flag—that he might be the clingy, possessive type who would want to constantly be with her, because he had little else going on in his life. If a guy broadcasts the message that he is totally, utterly single, without other women desiring him, how desirable can he be to a girl like Christine? Women will wonder, “What’s the catch?” There must be something about him that turns women off—possibly a very serious flaw. Most women would rather cut him loose than stick around and find out what his personal issues are. One of the themes you’ll find throughout my book is that by limiting your availability to women, you make yourself more attractive. Once you’ve built a relationship with a girl and you’re having sex on a regular basis, you can spend more time with her and make yourself more available. But in those opening stages, when her female intuition is on high alert and she’s trying to determine her level of attraction towards you, always being available can kill her interest. Don’t be an open book; present an element of intrigue and mystery. *Another thing you’ll learn in M.A.C.K. Tactics: The Ultimate Edition is that the concept of “chemistry” is nonsense. It’s a figment of the female imagination. As a Mack, you can manufacture a sense of chemistry and make her feel that it exists between the two of you. By simply applying the right Tactics, you can make her feel like you’re the guy she was “destined” to meet. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Chapter 21: The Science of Dating Younger Women: An Interview with Dr. Paul Dobransky

Dr. Paul Dobransky is a Chicago-based psychiatrist, author, and CEO of www.doctorpaul.net, specializing in the areas of trauma, men's psychology, dating, relationships, and their missions in life. He is an innovator and inventor of unification theories of psychology, as well as a frequent teacher alongside David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Mystery, and most “men’s community gurus,” adding science and professionalism to the men’s community training programs at every opportunity. He was a first-responder to the Columbine Tragedy and has been a contributing expert to CNN, Fox News, NBC, CBS, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Fitness, Blender, Maxim, and many other national media outlets.

Dr. Paul, I want to begin by asking you how you describe your role in this culture of professional pick-up artists and dating coaches. The “men's community,” as it is called on the dating and seduction-oriented websites, is a tiny subculture when you look at all of mainstream society. I'm more of a translator between the men's community and mainstream society than I am a guru, marketer, or "mack daddy" who has a lot of tactics and tricks to show you.

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211 I think there is a much bigger movement going on, than just learning to date. There are major cultural changes going on in Western society these days that has a lot to do with the pendulum swinging from empowering men for many centuries, to feminism, and now it has gone back to men who are asking, "What about us?" I think the men's community is a symptom of something much bigger going on in our culture. And the only "perfect" method a man can use, regardless of his age or what type of woman he wants to be with, really has to be his own method. Are you speaking about how to help someone with self esteem issues? Or do you specifically help men to become more attractive to women? Well first, let’s look at some of the lingo that is used in “the community.” In my opinion, things like inner game and outer game…these are not real. These are artificial terminologies that don’t apply scientifically to what’s really going on. They are just a means to develop types of product lines, so that there can be an “inner game” line of products and an “outer game” line of products. In truth, it all works in sync with each other. When people talk about inner game, it's just an artificial term that refers to a guy's internal state of psychology, emotion, decision-making processes, and thoughts. Outer game is more what one does with his body language, and is more tactical. I think it is more useful to describe strategy versus tactics, in terms of accomplishing a goal. When I say “strategy, I’m talking about the bigger-picture view: the psychological processes that go on with men and women, and what gets them together. Generally speaking, tactics can be numerous and as unique as every individual man. Tactics are what I actually physically and verbally do and say to implement strategies. I think that's a better way to describe what is happening, and it’s more constructive than looking at it as inner and outer game. Because your inner game influences your outer game, and your outer game influences your inner game, and they are all mish-mashed together, in reality. Men often come to me about Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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212 having learned some other guy’s “method” and they’ve found that while the method may work for the guru who created it, it doesn't work for him. There is also a lot of talk in the men's community about what people call, "being authentic." Or "character-driven game." This simply means that we need to be authentic and our real selves, while simultaneously working on having better skills with the tools we naturally bring to bear. So I‘ll work with those guys to set them straight, and help them to become more authentic as individual men. Ultimately, every guy who comes to work with me walks away with his own method, which only works for him and can’t be successfully imitated by someone else. The second kind of guy who works with me tends to be older. This is because I’m not a guy who teaches how to only have a one-night stand or just get laid. I'm more about teaching men to be sophisticated and mature, and enjoy a rich dating life. With these older guys, do you see a common pattern of mistakes that they make with younger women? Yes, and I believe it’s something that only science can fix. When I use the word "science" I mean what I’m teaching is based on formal education and training at mental health fields or behavioral health fields, and philosophy as well. There are too many variables to account for, so I don’t believe in hard and fast “rules,” such as that a man needs to wait three days before returning a call to a younger woman. Again, there are just too many variables to account for. It depends on what kind of woman she is, her personality, and what her maturity level is. Then you’ve got to ask, what is the 40 year old man's personality and maturity level, and what culture do they live in? With men who are age 40 and above, are many personal factors combined with cultural forces that are in play— Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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213 and in our society, this tends to stigmatize him in a way that didn't happen in the past. These ways of cultural stigmatization may have happened to older women in the past, and don’t today. Take the cultural phenomenon, for instance, of "Sex in the City." The popularity of that TV show and movie empower women. In some ways its popularity can be interpreted as disempowering men, especially men who are in their 40s and above. It disempowers men in that it reinforces the belief that men should date women their own age. The unwritten cultural protocol, or rule, is that there is an acceptable age difference for marrying, dating, or having sex with women. If the age difference is larger than that limit (even though the woman is of legal age), it’s then considered strange or wrong or unethical. So the number one problem I think men 40 and above have is that they buy into local, recent, cultural rules or trends about what is okay versus, what is not okay in dating. Men feel a sense of shame or guilt if they go against these “rules,” even if they’re just doing what is natural to them. One of the principles I teach in my live seminars is that we tend to attract those to us who are of a similar maturity level, regardless of age. We as human beings have a different psychological age on the inside than our chronological age on the outside. Everyone, for example, has had a boss who might be 50, but behaves like he's 18. Or we have had an uncle or aunt who are 40 and act like they are 17. It doesn’t matter what a person’s chronological age is. What matters is their psychological age. In terms of attraction and dating, what matters is how old women are on the inside. It could be just as ethically wrongful for a 28-year-old man to date a 28year-old woman who on the inside is only as mature as a 13-year-old girl. It is legal, but kind of unethical in a way because she is so immature and mismatched to him. The younger and more immature a woman is, the more impressionable she is. So there is a stigma about chronological age which men 40 and above need Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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214 to get over. Your chronological age doesn't really matter; it’s about psychological age and maturity, yours and hers. You must deal with quite a few men who have social phobias and feel awkward around women, which gets even worse if they’re trying to interact with a hot young babe. The younger and hotter she is, the more intense his anxiety gets… Yes, definitely. That's something that needs to be separated out from this cultural stigma that I am talking about. When a guy officially has a social phobia he will tend to get actual anxiety symptoms that are way above and beyond what the average man will experience in approaching an attractive woman. He might even get panic attacks, chest palpitations, heavy breathing, sweating, and shakiness in the fingers. I do get quite a few guys coming to me with these problems, and it’s an actual medical situation. But underneath that, as you know well, men have for millions of years had an evolutionary reflex built into us. No matter how confident we are, or sophisticated, or mature or experienced, all men have at least a twinge of approach anxiety. That has evolved over millions of years because, if you were to look at ancient tribal living among men and women, or even in gorilla populations, there would be one Alpha Male who dominates the whole society and mates with 80% of the females, leaving the other 20% for the rest of the male populace to compete for. So what evolved in males, whether gorilla or human, is a survival or self-preserving instinct that makes them very careful, anxious, and tentative about approaching any female for the first time. What if she "belongs," so to speak, to the Alpha Male? He could be killed just for making a move on her. There is a real survival mechanism that has evolved into this “approach anxiety” problem. So when women look at men and say, "What's their problem, aren't they confident enough? Why are they afraid of approaching us? What's the matter Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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215 with that guy—is he an scared, low self-esteem guy?" Well, these women are wrong. There is nothing wrong with the man at all. He might be very confident, but also very masculine and tuned into his natural masculine reflexes, which often include approach anxiety. Therefore, approach anxiety is very different than social anxiety disorder. Those need to be separated. One is normal and one is not. So for the men reading this, how can they tell if they have a normal fear of approaching women, or if it’s a deeper issue? When I coach guys, I ask them how they feel if they even think about approaching a woman—and a lot of them say they feel fear. Well, it comes down to physical symptoms. If a very confident guy gets a little twinge of anxiety when he's looking at a beautiful woman and wanting to approach her, he can get over that with standard behavioral therapy techniques. When you’re comparing normal anxiety to an actual medical disorder like social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, the difference is the physical symptoms. Sweating and shaking, heart palpitations, and heavy breathing are all physical things. Those symptoms are what let you know it may be a medical-grade anxiety, as opposed to normal male instincts. Some degree of approach anxiety is normal, even among the most confident men. Do you have any tips for overcoming this normal form of approach anxiety? One thing that helps men get over approach anxiety is the 3-second rule, where as soon as you see a woman you’re interested in, you ignore the anxiety and give yourself only three seconds to just go and talk to her. What this really translates to, in terms of psychology and behavioral therapy, is courage. Behavioral therapy is about training people to do courageous acts. Courage is the key for men who do not have medical-grade anxiety. Courage is about doing it no matter how bad it feels, and no matter how uncertain you are. You then find that you don't die. And

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216 if you can't die from doing an action, then you win no matter what. You win a type of emotional energy called confidence. I think inner game is rooted in self-esteem: your opinion of yourself. Do you have any tips on how to raise a guy's self esteem? I use a lot of mathematics and equations to explain things. So I have developed a definition for self-esteem in terms of a mathematical formula. Self-esteem happens to be two types of energy, and we need them in equal amounts. It is wellbeing, plus confidence. Well-being is a motherly, nurturing kind of emotion—a sense of having enough money, friends, creativity, free time, rest, health. Confidence is an energy that is sort of fatherly. It is an emotional sense that you can handle whatever comes your way. You think, “I can tolerate any risk, change, or potential loss that comes my way.” If you lack one or both of these types of emotional energy then you do not have complete self-esteem, and you are not happy. Furthermore, you are not able to be a good friend to others. Some methods out there talk about the steps of seduction and dating, and one of the popular phrases is the "comfort phase" (using methods to make a woman feel a sense of comfort with you). I think it's an inaccurate term. I use the term "friendship" to describe this instead. Ultimately, if a woman does not sense friendship from you, then you are potentially a “seducer” or a “player.” You’re not a potential date, nor a potential man in her life. There must be a friendship aspect. The word “comfort” in this instance is kind of narrow and silly, because it implies that the interaction is just going to lead to a one-night stand or a seduction. I'm talking about something deeper and richer than that. Friendship is shared positive emotion. It's raising someone else's self esteem, while raising your self-esteem in the process. That transaction, literally, is the scientific description of what love is. Love is different than desire or passion. Love is a feature of friendship. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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You need to be friends with a woman in order to get all the rest of it. If a man is 40, wanting to date a 25-year old—or if he's 25, wanting to date a 25 year old— he’s got to find ways to strike up that “friendship vibe.” If that's not there, then the age difference—under the influence of our cultural rules—is going to make the 40-year-old look like a dirty old man. Do you think that's one of the key mistakes older men make when they’re trying to approach, have sex, or date younger women? They blow their chances by pushing for sex too fast, and making their intentions too obvious? Yes, absolutely, because of two factors. The first factor is the most significant problem men that over 40 have: they buy into a stigma that age matters. The second factor is an over-concentration on learning to be seductive and attractive, but leaving out a deep understanding of the psychology of women. Women are in many ways more complex psychologically than men, especially in how sexual attraction occurs. This is, in part, because of evolution. Men produce billions of sperm over a lifetime, but women have only between 200 and 300 viable eggs. For men, we use—pardon the pun—the shotgun approach. We are sexually attracted to many, many women over our lifetime, even if we are committed to only one. We would be dishonest to not admit that we are sexually attracted to many. Meanwhile, a woman's reproductive strategy is to be highly selective. Women are looking for a man they are sexually attracted to, but it’s also about a man's ability to indicate friendship potential and commitment potential. Those are features of character. There is nothing out there that teaches you character development. So women need to feel you are sexually savvy, but they also need to have indications that you could be a good friend and be of high character. The high character tells the woman that you're the type of guy that will stay around if she gets pregnant. Being of high character means that that sex will be special with

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218 you, not cheap, and it would be meaningful, lasting and a bonding experience—as opposed to a one-night stand. Being able to show friendship and character are strengths of men who are 40 and above, because they’ve had a lot of life experience that gives them the opportunity to grow character. Having character makes him more attractive to younger women. Guys in their early 20s might just be up for one night stands. Generally, they don’t know what they want to do with their lives, don't have much life experience, and haven't had much of a chance to grow a rich and refined character. So there are strengths and weaknesses to an older man/younger woman pairing. When you work with older guys, what sort of approach do you recommend when they’re looking to form relationships with younger women? However you approach younger women, there are going to be foundational strategies that have nothing to do with your age or culture of origin that must occur, because sexual attraction doesn't just “happen.” An older man needs to approach a younger woman in a way that is age appropriate for him. It's not going to serve him well to wear crazy Hawaiian shirts or platform boots with blinking lights on them. That will make him look strange and uncomfortable, and it probably won’t suit his level of sophistication and maturity. A lot of people in the men's community would lead people to believe that it is possible to approach any woman any time and be successful. While it is possible to approach any woman at any time, and successfully get her attention, I think most guys want the ability to hold and maintain her attention and make her feel sexual attraction. Women are the ones who start this sexual attraction process. They give us what sociologists call "submission signals." If they’re not giving off these signals, then the man isn’t doing his job correctly. He’s not triggering her to feel curiosity and attraction towards him. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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So how does a 40+ man trigger curiosity in a 25-year-old woman in a way that will get her to send him those signals? I would suggest a man might start talking to a woman over his shoulder, or from the side, because it conveys high self-esteem. You might wear one interesting article of clothing. You might have a lot of friends and know a lot of people in the environment, and she notices this about you. You can be indirect in your approach. It’s the opposite of walking up to a woman and basically implying to her, "You're hot. I know you want me." Rather, start a conversation that is stimulating and sophisticated. These would generally be the best approaches a man 40 and above could use. What are some other important things older men need to understand about younger women? Well, a women's sense of femininity, identity, and passion for life is very much rooted in her sense of acceptance when she’s around other women. Anyone could observe this and say, "Yeah, women always have girlfriends and they like to be in their girlfriends' good favor." The reason and depth of this, however, goes back all the way to hunter/gatherer tribal times and evolution, and back to ancient times when men were out hunting and killing things and extending their territory, oftentimes in isolation from one another. Women would be gathered together back at the village, and if they did not develop a sophisticated sense of reading each other's emotions and being accepted by the group of women, their lives would literally be in danger. If there wasn't a lot of talk and communication between the women, a child could possibly die, or a tiger might show up and attack someone. This stuff is all rooted in evolution. Today, we have a sophisticated society that is not ancient “hunter-gatherer” style, but we still retain these ancient instincts and reflexes. One of the core instincts of women is the need to belong, and be considered normal and accepted. So one of Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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220 the biggest challenges, in approaching and dating younger women, is the social stigma of an age difference. Is it considered by her and her peer group to be abnormal to date an older guy? Or can it be normal, if the guy has a really rich, fun personality and has something to bring to the table? This will also center on how mature the woman is, and the maturity of her peer group. Some very beautiful women, who have beautiful friends, are immature regardless of their age. The less mature a woman is, the more driven by instinct she is. Therefore, the less of an individual she is. So you can be blocked from the get-go, simply because her peer group is immature and not accepting of older men? Even if she's mature, her immature peer group may still rule the day if you’re not able to win them over. And it’s probably not going to work if her maturity level if far lower than yours. But this is okay, because why would you want to date an extremely immature young woman? This just leads to a high-maintenance and often co-dependent relationship. This leads to the second mistake men tend to make when wanting to date younger women—that they only value the woman's physical beauty. If that's all they value, then there is a large chance that they’re going to have a significant drain on their resources: their time, energy, and money. Oftentimes, very beautiful women carry with them a very immature state of character. They never quite feel like the man makes them look good to their friends. When they are immature and young, they value their friends far more than they could ever value an individual man. So what are some concrete steps that our readers can take, in order to prepare themselves to go out and start dating quality younger women? Well, I encourage men to not just take action, and not just get over their approach anxiety, but to also be very selective. Ignore beauty as the only criterion for all Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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221 that you want in a woman, because if beauty is all that matters, then you're going to do a lot of failing and lose a lot of resources. You have to care about how mature the woman is regardless of age or beauty, and how mature her peer group is, too, because her friends are going to have a very significant influence on her. If you’re a 40-year-old construction worker, and she’s a 25-year-old grad student, there is a fair chance that her peer group is used to being around older men and mentors, and are of higher sophistication and character. There is a much higher chance of success with that kind of woman. Even if you do not understand at all what her career is about, and you’re more of a blue collar type of guy, that's a better match than you being a banker and dating a 25 year old model or actress who has no real career. Thanks Dr. Paul, now let’s review the key points you've covered… 1. Friendship Friendship is of the essence. It can't just be about sexual attraction tactics. There has to be a way to form a friendship with a woman. If you look at what friendship is, it boils down to mutual positive emotion. It’s critical to boost her self-esteem. Having a well-developed sense of humor is very important for older guys as they attempt to relate to younger women. The age range and cultural stigma greatly expands if a man is humorless. Humor becomes far more important than it ever was when you were 25, because you need to be able to form a friendship with a woman and make her feel positive and happy to be in your presence. 2. Be Unique Anything that can make you unique sets you apart from all the wanna-bes. Cultural stigmas, and the maturity level of her and her friends, may present challenges—but you can overcome them with the strength of your life experiences. Your ability to be a speaker, to express yourself, to tell stories of your unique and Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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222 broad life experiences, will automatically set you apart from the vast majority of younger men. When it comes to alluring any women of any age, one of the first strategic steps is to be somewhat mysterious. This comes from the "female Oedipal period of life." It's the most primal core sexual attractor for women, regardless of your age or her age. The reason for this is that her very first encounter with masculinity came from her father. She came to view “daddy” as a powerful and somewhat mysterious figure. For the rest of her life, whatever pattern of communicating, loving and connecting with her dad—most importantly, her experiences with her father between ages three and six—she is going to unconsciously apply with every man she ever meets, falls in love with, or is ever sexually attracted to. Maintaining a level of mystery is the most powerful way to trigger these instincts in her—to make her want to win your affection and approval. When talking to a woman, don't put all your cards on the table. Don't give her a verbal resume, or tell her everything about yourself. By doing so, you’re killing the mystery. As a cool, confident, sophisticated older guy, you have no need to “prove yourself” to younger women. The idea is to make her want to prove herself to you.

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223

Chapter 22: Advanced Conversation Tactics To Use With Younger Women By Dean Cortez As I explain in the “Conversation Control” chapter of the Mack Tactics “Ultimate Edition” book, phrasing can make all the difference. (An actual Hostage Negotiator helped me write that book, and we include a lot of Negotiator techniques that can be used in your interactions with women.) There are so many times in life when we could get a “yes,” but get a “no” instead—simply because we phrased the request the wrong way. When you approach a girl, she has a million reasons to say no. She may be looking for reasons to shoot you down, because she’s worried that you’re going to be yet another boring, unoriginal guy who’s going to try to monopolize her time. Or, her reasons for ignoring you could be beyond your control. You might resemble the jerk who broke her heart in the tenth grade. She might be coming off a bad relationship, and while she’s sitting there having a drink at the bar, her ex-boyfriend is texting her phone and stressing her out. Or, she might be stressed out from her job. If you’re at a nightclub, perhaps she has convinced herself that it’s impossible to meet a decent guy in that environment, that they’re all wanna-be pickup artists, and there’s no way in hell she’s giving any guy in this place her phone number. More commonly, when it comes to being approached by men she doesn’t know, her radar is simply on high alert at all times. She’s looking for red flags: reasons to rule you out and end the interaction. You may also be operating at a disadvantage from the very beginning because you don’t meet her “criteria”: the Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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224 superficial qualities she tells herself she needs in a man. (He needs to be a certain height, look a certain way, have money, etc.) The good news is that there are methods for “jamming” her radar and getting past these barriers. First, you need to understand one of the biggest fundamental differences between men and women, which I mentioned before: men seek to QUALIFY women, while women seek reasons to DISQUALIFY us. In other words, we’re willing to overlook a girl’s flaws if we’re interested in having sex with her. Women, meanwhile, are more likely to look past our good qualities and try to find reasons to rule us out. Does that sound harsh? Well, it is. Now let’s talk about some Tactics to get you through this... Let’s say you spot a blonde across the bar. Her face is average (at best), but she’s wearing a tight dress and has a killer body. That’s enough to make you want to approach her. Then, if it turns out she’s dumber than a box of rocks and has nothing interesting to say, you’ll continue to fixate on her body! (C’mon, admit it.) You’ll keep macking. As long as she’s receptive to the conversation, you’ll keep trying to make something happen. As long as there is something about her that turns you on, you’ll give it your best shot, right? (Especially if you’ve been drinking…) OK, now let’s look at this from the woman’s perspective. From the moment we make eye contact with a girl, or approach her, she’s sizing us up and her brain is coming up with reasons to DISQUALIFY us. Maybe her radar is telling her you’re too short, too young, too old, or she doesn’t like the color of your shirt, or she figures you’re a player who’s only looking to get laid…whatever. She’s going to think about all the reasons NOT to Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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225 get to know you, before she considers the reasons why she SHOULD. The typical guy faces an uphill battle because he’s always struggling to qualify himself to women. This is why so many men resort to “pickup routines” or try to impress women by talking about their money or “who they know.” (Truth be told, unless you’re a rock star, famous actor or professional athlete, there are very few professions that are going compel a woman to want to have sex with you.) Most guys are so used to being blown off in the first minute or two, they resort to desperate measures just to get their foot in the door. Jamming her radar means you’re never going to allow a woman to go into the mental process of disqualifying you. You’re going to throw her off balance and turn the tables. You send the message that you’re not that into in her, you’re not easily impressed, and that SHE needs to qualify herself to YOU. Then, throughout the course of conversation, you continue with this strategy. You make statements, and ask questions, that force her to qualify herself to you. The message you are sending is that you are a guy with high standards, and if she doesn’t meet them...well, there are plenty of other girls for you to talk to tonight.

Tease, Push, Pull “Teases” are a powerful technique. You can sneak in a tease by making a statement that implies you’re a man in demand, with high standards: “The girls I’ve dated recently have been high-maintenance. They looked beautiful, but there’s was always drama. It seems to be that extremely beautiful women are often the most insecure. It’s cool to meet a normal girl, like yourself, who I can relax around.” Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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226 This statement has a subconscious effect. While it sounds on the surface like you’re paying her a compliment—that she’s a “normal” person—you’re actually jabbing her ego and making her feel self-conscious. You’re implying that you usually date hot women, but hey, you’re still enjoying her company at the moment... By using this method, as you continue to control the conversation, she’s going to feel the need to qualify herself to you. She’ll want to show she’s not just a boring “normal” girl...she’s fun and sexy, too. Think Push/Pull. Punishment/Reward. Throw challenges at her. Make her wonder if she measures up to your standards, and get her thinking, “If this guy has such high standards, and is so hard to impress, he must be something special.” Some others: “I plan on staying out late tonight and having some fun, but I don’t want to get you into any trouble…I can tell you’re a nice, responsible girl. You’ve probably got a curfew…” “You should know up front, I’m very high-maintenance. I need my back rubs, breakfast in bed…and if you can’t cook, forget about it.” Or this one, which will really catch her by surprise: “It’s too bad you’re not my type, you seem like a cool person.” (Then, immediately change the subject.) If this is a girl you just met at the bar, you could add on, “Let’s see if we can find you a guy tonight. I can be your wingman.” Again, you’ve paid her a back-handed compliment (she seems “nice” or “cool”), but you’ve made her feel self-conscious because for some reason (which Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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227 you don’t explain), she’s “not your type.” Just plant that seed and move on…it messes with her head! If she asks you what is your type (and women will almost always ask), keep your answer vague: “I’ve just normally dated girls with a certain type of look, that’s all.” Then move the conversation onto another subject. Leave her wondering why she doesn’t meet your standards, and what she can do to capture your interest. Another example to use at a nightclub… “Have you noticed the women in this place? There must a be a million dollars worth of plastic surgery in this room. It’s nice to talk to someone normal for a change.” Or, “Have you noticed that group of tall, gorgeous Amazon-type women waiting by the bathroom? This place is like a modeling convention tonight. It’s cool to talk to someone like you, who’s normal and down-to-earth.” Here’s a quick one. In mid-conversation, as she’s saying something, say “One sec, I need to ask my friend something” and then abruptly walk away. Rejoin her a couple of minutes later and let her keep going with what she was saying. Slightly impolite, yes…but you’re sending the signal that you’ve got other people to attend to, and that she’s not impressive enough to warrant 100% of your attention. I want you to remember this: learning how to approach younger women and engage them in conversation begins with the right belief system. You are the prize. Believe that. If there are a hundred other guys in the room, you must believe you’re the guy who the ladies want to meet tonight. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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When you approach a girl you’re not going to let her radar kick into high gear and start screening you for defects. You’re going to establish that YOU are the one with high standards, who’s giving HER the chance to join your team. Comments On Push/Pull by Braddock, Love Systems Instructor One great way to build state-based attraction is what we call “push/pull.” Push/pull to me is the bedrock of flirting. If you get good at push/pull you can drive women wild. The basic premise behind push/pull is going hot and cold over and over. The key here is to keep it playful. You can easily take push/pull too far by making her feel that you are just mean. What I love about push/pull is that it helps you keep things balanced. Most guys are either too nice or too mean. They are either kissing ass or trying to act distant. Either one of these strategies will end in the same poor result. One of the best explanations of push/pull was given to me by Mr. M, a Love Systems instructor. He said, “How did you get your dog to chase you when you were a little kid? You chased him, and then you ran away.” This is basically push/pull on the most surface level. You are going to flirt with the girl and just when she thinks she has you, you pull the rug out from under her by teasing her. Or, you tease her hard and get your friends laughing at her expense and then just before you take it too far, you drop a compliment on her or touch her so she knows that you are just flirting with her. The message she should be getting over the course of the conversation should be something like: “I’m starting to like you... no I’m not, you suck. Wait, I like you again... now I’m not sure. Wow, you are pretty sexy... nope you’re annoying me again.” Etc...

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229 (Don’t say that out loud to her. That’s the underlying message. I’m about to give you some example of what you ACTUALLY say.) The easiest formula for push/pull is: •

Say something nice and then dovetail into a tease.

•

Say something playfully mean and then dovetail into a light compliment.

•

Call her out on something or tease her and then follow that with warm body language so she knows you are just flirting (I.E. a smile, a wink, squeezing her hand, etc.).

•

Go really nice and build tons of rapport and then release the tension with a playfully asshole comment that undermines the compliment.

•

Basically, Push/Pull = Nice-mean, mean-nice, wash, rinse, repeat.

A little while ago, I started recording some of my pickups. It makes me a better instructor at our bootcamps (as well as giving me funny stories for my blog). It also gives me great material for real-life examples like these push/pull dialogues. Most of these dialogues took place within minutes of first meeting. Braddock Push/Pull #1 - Jessica Jessica: “God, I’m sorry I’m late. My cab driver was an idiot.” Braddock: “It’s cool. Was he a foreign guy or an American guy?” Jessica: “I’m pretty sure he was foreign. I wasn’t really paying attention.” Braddock: “Hmm.” Jessica: “What?” Braddock: “It’s too bad you are a racist, because you are pretty cute.” Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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230 Jessica: “Haha!!! I’m not a racist!!!” Braddock: “I’m pretty sure that you just called that cab driver a foreign idiot.” Jessica: “HA! I did not!” Braddock: “Jessica, you know what we call cab drivers where I come from?” Jessica: “What?” Braddock: “People.” Jessica: “Oh my God, stop it!” (said while laughing) Braddock: “You should really be more tolerant like me. The 1950s called; they want their beliefs back.” (Two hours later after we have moved on from the joke...) Braddock’s friends walk up. Braddock: “Hey guys, you have to meet this girl. This is Jessica.” Jessica: “Hi guys.” Braddock: “Okay, Brian, aren’t you like 1/18 Polish or something foreign?” Brian: “LoL... Yeah.” Braddock: “Okay, well you will probably want to take a step back because Jessica is a hateful bigot.” At this point, she wanted to jump in and defend herself, so I just smiled and hugged her. More push/pull in action. Remember that you don’t have to push every time and you don’t have to pull every time. You use them as you need them. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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231 Braddock Push/Pull #2 - Jamie Jamie: “Do you like my new shoes?” Braddock: (Said in tone as if thinking out loud) “Hmm... what answer is most likely to get me laid?” (Said in obviously overly excited voice) “Oh my God! Those are the coolest shoes I’ve ever seen!” Jamie: “Oh my God! You are an ass.” Braddock: “You know I think you’re hot; quit asking me about random pieces of your fashion.” Braddock Push/Pull #3 - Sara Braddock: “You drink Bud Light? Awesome, let’s get married.” Sara: (Laughing) ”Okay.” Braddock: “Sweet. But just so you know, I’m probably going to cheat on you with your friends, but they mean nothing to me. It’s just sex.” Sara: “No way, I will divorce you!” Braddock: “Okay, fine, because I want to make this work for the kids. But you have to cook me breakfast in bed from now on.” Sara: “Fine, but you have to buy me expensive gifts every week.” Braddock: “Deal, but only because you are amazing in bed.” Braddock: “Wait do you smoke?” Sara: “Yeah, only when I drink.” Braddock: “Hmm... I may need to call a divorce attorney.” Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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232

Effective Approach Tactics The most effective openers are ones that sneak under her radar and don’t sound like opening lines. (Remember, you don’t want to telegraph that you’re interested in her.) Instead of opening with a question such as, “Hi, I’m Joe, what’s your name?” Or, “How are you doing tonight?”, try making a STATEMENT that includes some type of observation about her. Examples: “I can see you know how to have fun. Alright, you’re on the guest list for my next party.” “Quick question. There’s this cool pair of jeans that I want to buy for a friend of mine. She’s around your size, but it’s hard to say, exactly. I’m just wondering, should I buy them a little bit bigger, or a little bit smaller? If the size is too big, I’m worried she might get a little bit offended…but if they’re too small, that might bum her out, y’know? Which would you prefer—if someone bought you jeans that were a little bit too big, or a little too small?” If this sounds like something trivial to ask a woman about, that’s sort of the point. What you start talking to her about is irrelevant, as long as it’s something original and compelling enough to make her reply. The purpose of your opener, whether it’s a question, a statement, or a little story like the one above, is simply to be original and get her talking. Once she starts talking, you’ll find a way to interject and move the conversation onto a different topic. (You wouldn’t want to spend the next five minutes on a discussion about jeans, or how females have negative perceptions of their bodies, or whatever. The point of the story was to OPEN the conversation, nothing more.)

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233 Next, you want to transition the conversation to a more interesting topic, one that also allows you to plant seeds about your positive qualities. So, you use the “buying a pair of jeans opener,” and she says… HER: I’d buy them a size too small, if anything. She can always return them if they don’t fit. YOU: That’s true. I just know she’s been kind of self-conscious since her boyfriend broke up with her. I still can’t believe he dumped her over such a stupid reason… HER: (curious now) Why? What happened? YOU: Well, somehow he found out the password to her email account, and he checked her emails and found out that she’d been corresponding with her exboyfriend Mike. Mike was her high school sweetheart. They broke up years ago, and Mike has a wife and a kid now, but they stayed friends. Anyway, when her current boyfriend saw those emails, he flipped out and broke up with her. HER: That’s terrible. YOU: Some people just don’t get it. For me, I can’t be in a relationship unless I feel like I’m 100% trusted, and I can trust my girl completely. Trust and commitment are so important to me. HER: Me too. YOU: We have that in common, that’s good. So tell me…if you were dating a guy, and you found out the password to his email account, would you check it?

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234 Now you’re engaged in a very compelling conversation. You’ve totally “reeled her in.” Once you feel enough has been said on this particular topic, transition to something else. The point I’m making here is that talking about Relationship Dramas and Cheating are excellent topics for jump-starting a conversation with a woman. (Or women, plural—you can start a conversation with a group of girls this way, just as easily.) Women naturally love gossip, especially about cheating and screwed-up relationships, which is why these openers and topics work SO effectively. Another opener I’ve used on occasion: “You just missed a major catfight over by the bathrooms. Two girls were going at it. Hair pulling, scratching, it was nasty…I bet you five bucks it was over some guy.” OK, now here’s an example of a good Qualifier that implies you’re trying to determine whether she’s worthy of your attention. (Remember, the concept behind “Qualifying” questions and statements is that you are the one passing judgment…not her...because you’re a guy with a lot of options.) “You seem like someone who doesn’t take herself too seriously—you work hard, but you play hard, too.” She will almost agree with this. (If by some chance she says “no,” then you know right off the bat this chick probably isn’t much fun.) If she says “yes,” you’re now going to REWARD her. You’re going to imply that maybe she’s cool enough to enter your circle. Tell her, “That’s good to know, because I can’t be around uptight people.”

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235 There are all types of ways to test her, tease her, and make her QUALIFY herself to you. This mentality is completely different from how 90% of men interact with women. The average guy is worried the whole time about being cool enough to be in HER circle. Remember, the larger the space that you create from pushing, the more space there is for you to pull her back towards you. This makes your rewards more emotionally intense and pleasurable. Let’s say you work at a company, and you have a subordinate who is always kissing your ass and telling you how great you are at your job. This wouldn’t give you any emotional high. In fact, it would probably get annoying. But now let’s say you’ve got a boss who holds your work to extremely high standards, and is almost impossible to please. If you receive a compliment from him, you feel elated. And, like a hit from a drug, you’ll want to experience that feeling again. You’ll be motivated to work extra hard, in order to get more validation from your critical boss…and because you’d hate to disappoint him. When you cast yourself in the “boss” role with women…when they feel the need to meet your standards…you’re winning the game. You’re in control. On the flip side, when YOU are obviously trying to impress HER, what you’re really admitting is that you know she’s not impressed with you yet. Instead, assume she is impressed with you. Now it’s up to her to demonstrate she is on your level. Some other “tests” to throw her way: “I don’t know if you can handle a guy like me. Are you a spontaneous, Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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236 adventurous type of person?” If she says she is spontaneous, reward her by saying something, ”That’s cool. There are still some things I want to find out about you, but so far, so good.” If she is reluctant to say yes, or says “it depends,” then here’s a way to push her (and have some fun): “So on a scale of 1-10, how adventurous would you say you are?” She’ll probably give an answer in the 6-8 range. Now, knock her down a peg. If she says “7,” say, “Really? I would have figured you for a 6. Let me ask you a question. I find that women who are spontaneous are the best kissers. Would you say you’re a good kisser?” If she says “yes” (which most women will), say “Good, because I have a policy from now on that I can only date women who know how to kiss. Doesn’t that suck—when you meet someone that you’re totally attracted to, but then when you kiss them for the first time, they’re terrible at it?” The “good kisser” question might sound too forward with a girl you just met five minutes ago, but it isn’t if you’ve already gotten her to agree that she is spontaneous and adventurous. Once you’ve gotten her to verbally commit to being a certain type of girl, she is going to try to be consistent with this behavior. It’s a quirk of human nature. This is a compliance tactic that sales professionals use: get the customer to verbally commit to being something. For example, the salesmen on the car lot might say to his prospect: “Mr. Johnson, I can tell you’re a man who appreciates the finer things, and you know a luxury vehicle can be worth every penny. Am I right?” Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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237 Once Mr. Johnson agrees—yes, he’s that type of guy—he’s more likely to be receptive to the expensive vehicles that the salesman shows to him. The customer wants to be consistent with the label that has been applied to him. When you apply labels to women, and get them to agree, they’ll want to be consistent with that label. This makes it easier for you to make them comply with your suggestions. Examples of labels you’ll want her to agree to: • Spontaneous • Adventurous • Up for a challenge • Naughty (she has a “bad girl” side) • Trusting and sincere • The life of the party • Classy & sophisticated • Deep and spiritual It’s also cool to establish that you’ve got one of these qualities in common with her: “That’s awesome that you’re always up for a challenge. I’m the exact same way. I thrive off of challenges, which I why I’m so into achieving this goal right now…” (transition into a discussion about a goal of yours, and then talk to her about her goals). Or, you might say to the girl you’ve labeled as “spontaneous”: “This bar is cool, but the energy is kind of low tonight. I’m in the mood for something fun, something different. I know you’re Miss Spontaneous, and you’re always up for Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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238 an adventure—so c’mon, let’s try this other place...” Take her from environment A (where you met her), and to a completely different environment (a different bar or club), and now the two of you are basically on your first date. You’re not just some random, ordinary guy she met in a bar twenty minutes ago…you’re her partner on an adventure tonight. You can also use this label when it’s time to arrange your next meet with her. For example, you say to her on the phone: “Sarah, I know you’re a sophisticated, classy girl—you told me so—so I know you’re going to love this art gallery opening I’m going to on Friday night. Why don’t you come with me, meet me at my house at seven and we’ll roll together.” More examples of tests, always keeping push/pull in mind: Mention a cool spot in your area that most people aren’t aware of. It could be an out-of-the-way bar, a live music spot, a restaurant, a mountain you hiked…whatever. Ask her if she’s been there. If she says “yes,” then pull her in. If she says “no,” then push her away: “Wow, Lisa, you’ve never even tried sushi? I figured you’d be an adventurous type of girl who’s tried every type of cuisine…but it’s good that we met, because I know every good Japanese restaurant in this city.” Or, you could say: “My friend Michelle just got back from a trip to India. She’s such a fascinating person, I find that people who do a lot of traveling have a deeper perspective on things. So tell me about the most amazing place you’ve ever been to...” This prompts her to reveal whether she’s done much traveling. if it turns out Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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239 she has, then continue to push and pull: “That’s good to know you’re so welltraveled. I wasn’t sure about you at first, Maria, but I guess there’s more to you than meets the eye.” (That was actually a pull-push-pull, if you think about it…pretty cool!) If she admits that she hasn’t done much traveling, you can “push” her by acting like she’s not up her standards…and then “pull” her back to you. “Oh my God, you mean to tell me the only time you’ve been outside of the United States was college spring break in Cancun? Well, you should just know, before we ever get married or have kids, you and me are going to spend some time in Buenos Aires. It’s my favorite city.” This was also a playful example of the “instant relationship” technique— pretending that the two of you are already a couple, or destined to be a couple. You say it with a smile, as if you’re just kidding around, but it still has an effect on her subconscious. You’re making the idea of being in a relationship with each other seem like a natural, comfortable outcome. Or, you can ask her one of the Hypothetical questions from the “Women Persuasion Secrets” book, and then “push” her away when she gives the “wrong” answer. (With Hypotheticals, which are a favorite technique of mine, anything she says can be interpreted as a right or wrong answer.) After she answers, you say “I can’t believe you gave that answer…I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to break up with you. Tell the girl over there in the red dress, she’s my new girlfriend.” Then laugh, tell her you’re only kidding, and get into a discussion about the Hypothetical and the reasons behind her answer. Keep the push/pull in mind. Act like you’re never totally sure she’s cool enough to join your team, but you’re going to give her a chance to prove herself. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Now some final notes on dealing with really good-looking women. You never want to compliment a woman on how beautiful she is, since she’s probably heard this from 37 different lame-ass men in the past week. But you can bring up the subject of beauty, and use this to put her at ease about you and your intentions. (Very beautiful women will always suspect that a guy is only interested in their looks. When you act like her looks are unimportant to you, you present an interesting challenge.) So let’s say you’re talking to a super-gorgeous woman (who is obviously well aware she is super-gorgeous): WEAK MOVE: “I just have to tell you…you’re really beautiful.” (Groan…) STRONG MOVE: “I have this friend named Joanne. She’s a successful model. Extremely beautiful. And people think beautiful women have it easy, but I think it’s actually the opposite sometimes. People assume you’re cold and stuck up, and don’t have real feelings. Guys just want to sleep with you, and don’t care about getting to know the real you. I actually think Joanne’s life would be easier if she wasn’t quite so attractive.” (Now, let the girl riff on this topic, and bond with her over it.) Then, do a “cold reading” on her to seem even more profound and insightful: “I’m sure a lot of men perceive you as cold and stand-offish, but I can tell that you’re actually very sensitive. When someone makes a negative comment about you, you act like it doesn’t faze you, but then you think about it all night. People just don’t realize how sensitive you really are.” The “cold reading” is a trick that psychics use. It’s the art of reading Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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241 someone, without any prior knowledge of them, and seeming to understand what makes them tick. Used for seduction purposes, cold readings work especially well on women because they appeal to their sense of vanity. She’ll think that what you’re saying is unique only to her. A good cold read makes you look incredibly insightful and profound…like you have “super powers,” in fact...even though you’re being totally vague. Here are some example of cold readings: • “Jennifer, I get the sense that people perceive you as a really fun, outgoing, person…but actually, there are times when you want to be alone and tune out the world. You’ve got the sunny side you present to the world, but then you’ve also got a bit of a dark, complicated side, and sometimes you just need your private time.” • “I get the feeling that you’ve got a creative talent, or an idea that you want to explore, and you really want to pursue it but something is holding you back.” •

“Sometimes you don’t want to take chances, and you wind up shooting yourself in the foot because you missed a good opportunity. But other times, you can be spontaneous and adventurous. And that’s when you’re most happy, because it’s the real you.”

•

“The people you work with would say you’re a super confident person, and very good at your job. But you have insecurities that most people don’t know about. I mean, you’re only human, not this ‘super woman’ that people expect you to be.”

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242 •

“I can tell you’re an observer. Your crossed arms, your body language, the way you’re scanning the room…you like to watch people, and sometimes you worry too much about what other people think of you. But I bet you’re truly happy when you can just let go and be in the moment. I’m right, aren’t I?”

•

“You have a strong need for others to like and admire you, but you also have a tendency to be critical of yourself.”

•

“You’ve got a hidden talent, or a passion, that most people don’t know about, and you want to pursue it— but something is holding you back.”

•

“At times, you’re really social and outgoing. But other times, you’re reserved and introverted.”

Back in the 1940s, a psychologist named Bertram R. Forer decided to study horoscopes and debunk them. He ended up compiling a “universal profile” that almost everyone (85%) accepted as being “very accurate” about themselves:

“You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical about yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker, and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.”

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243 You can borrow any of these sentences, rephrase it slightly, and you’ll have a Cold Read that is proven to be effective. The bottom line is, when you’re vibing with a super-attractive women, do the opposite of what the typical over-eager, ass-kissing guy would do. Make her earn your time. If she touches your arm or tries to hold your hand, step away from her and tell her playfully, “Hey, hands off the merchandise” or, “Whoa, slow down…I don’t even know your last name and you’re already treating me like a piece of meat. I like to be respected for my mind, too, you know.” • If she’s hot but short, bust on her height. “I bet you’re like four-foot-six without those heels. It’s cute, though.” • If she’s a lot younger than you, bust on her age: “You’re fun, but you’re too young for me. I’m into women who are experienced.” • If she asks you what type of women you’re into, or the kind of girlfriend you’re looking for, describe a girl that is the opposite of her. (If she’s a tall blonde, tell her your last two girlfriends were petite brunettes.) • If she calls you and says, “Come over to my house,” tell her “Later. I’m busy right now.” (Don’t elaborate.) When you behave in this manner, you show her that you are in total control of your emotions and your reality. This is a huge turn-on for women, and it elevates you way above the herd of men who do nothing but try to flatter and please her. If you’re talking to a young hottie and you mention some cool bar you like, or a movie or a band you’re into—and she has no idea about it—act surprised and say "Wow, I can't believe you don't know about (fill in the blank). You have to Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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244 keep up on these things if you’re going to hang with a guy like me." Or, you might say (teasingly), "You’ve gotta be kidding me. You've never seen (insert the name of a movie). I have to be honest, Jane, I'm having second thoughts...I don't know if this relationship is going to work out." You smile when you say this...and then you have to move the conversation to a fun subject that gets her feeling good. An effective tease will make her want to impress you – to demonstrate why she is qualified to be on your level. If you make her feel a little self-conscious about the fact that she's clueless about something (movies, music, current events), she'll want to prove that she does know things. This can be especially effective with really hot young women who are insecure about the fact that most guys view them as brainless bimbos.

BONUS TIPS (From Savoy, CEO Of Love Systems) I get this question all the time: “I used my opener, she responded, what do I do next?” Obviously, the general answer to this is: the Transition phase. The specific answer to “what kind of Transition?” is often a cold read. A cold read is where you tell someone something about themselves that rings true to them, even without any particular knowledge about the person. As you may know from my book Magic Bullets, cold reads are one of the four major types of Transitions. It’s my favorite type of Transition, and I use cold reads in about 90% of my approaches. Cold reads are one of the easiest techniques to develop, because women will give you instant feedback. When you tell a woman about herself, she will react and give cues to how well your description “fits.” Over time, you will get better and better at finding good universal cold reads. You will also get better at calibrating

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245 your cold reads to take educated guesses about a woman’s personality based on her looks, clothes, mannerisms, and voice.

Sample Cold Read: The Eye Angle Transition Here’s an example of a good cold read Transition when you meet a woman. This routine works on the theory that eyes that are slanted downwards come across as caring and empathetic, whereas eyes slanted upwards convey a more sincere but fierce impression. You can use this routine at any point during your opener; even interrupt her at any time to start this one. “That’s really interesting.” (She responds.) “Did you know that if your eyes slant downwards your first impression tends to be empathetic and approachable whereas if your eyes slant upwards people tend to think you’re fierce and unapproachable?” There are two options from here: If her eyes slant down – “Do you find that people are generally friendly towards you but you really only let a select group of people become really close to you?” Or: If her eyes slant up – “Do you find that people don’t always open up to you straight away and you only let a select group of people become really close to you anyway?” (She responds.) “Yeah, you seem like the sort of person that enjoys having friends but only lets a few people into the inner circle. I’m the same way.” There’s nothing magical about this routine, but it’s a good way of interrupting a conversation that stemmed from your opening line and turning to topics that are Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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246 of particular interest to beautiful women – herself, how she comes across to others, what she is really like, etc. It also implies that you understand her world – how she can actually be a nice person but because she is beautiful she has had to be less open at first to people because they often have an agenda or preconception about her. You’re already on your way to demonstrating value, which you know from Magic Bullets is the key currency of attraction.

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Chapter 23: Winning the Game With Younger Women An Interview With David Wygant www.davidwygant.com

As one of the most often-quoted dating experts in the country for the last ten years, David Wygant has been prominently featured and consulted by thousands of media outlets. He has appeared on E! Entertainment Television, FoxNews, Dateline NBC, CBS News, ABC News and MTV. He has also appeared on over 2,000 radio shows. David has been featured and quoted in over 100 magazine and newspaper articles including in Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, USA Today, and The Los Angeles Times. David is one of the leading writers for Yahoo! Personals, and is one of the only dating coaches who works with both men and women. He offers an array of products and coaching services which can be found on his website. David's website also includes a daily blog for both men and women, along with daily video blogs and podcasts. I'm happy today to be talking to David Wygant about how to approach and meet younger women. When I think of you, David, I Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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248 think of that MTV show you were on called “Made.” You were also on another other show I was on, called” Sex 2K”… that was actually my first exposure to you, and your teachings. I started in 1998. You and me, we’re the veterans (laughs)… So how did you get into this field and start doing this? It’s funny; it's something that I always wanted to do. I used to make jokes about it to friends of mine back in the early 90’s. I was married, and then divorced, and I would go to bars and I was just not in the mood to be “that guy”—you know, the guy standing around in a bar trying to talk to women. I thought to myself, there must be a better way, and so I started meeting women out and about. I’m not a bar person to begin with, and I don't particularly like it or enjoy it. I just don't think there are any redeeming qualities to sitting back and sucking down alcohol all night, because I'm a non-drinker. So, I started going shopping and doing things I like, and using it as a means to meet women. Then, when I moved to Los Angeles in 1998, a group of guys started following me around all the time because they wanted to learn how I was doing it. It was like “David's Bootcamp.” They were all successful, smart guys, but they just weren't good at one side of their life. That's how I started in this field. It was something I really enjoyed and understood, and I worked really hard on myself to take it to the next level. It became this great business, and now it’s what I do. Do older guys often tap your brain about how to meet younger women? I get asked about this a lot. There are a lot of older guys out there who have not had much experience with younger women, but they want to get into the game. I tell them, if you’re going to play with younger women, you need to start by understanding their psychology. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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How do you explain the “younger woman psychology?” The psychology of younger women is what I call "the little kitten and the string." Don’t give them everything. The more you ignore them, the more you tease and tantalize them, the more they want you. The problem with a lot of older guys is they try to “buy” younger women. If you “buy” her—taking her to great places, paying for expensive dinners, and constantly doing things for her, you’re basically going to become her sugar daddy. She's not going to have great, wild, crazy sex with her sugar daddy. She's going to have great, crazy, wild sex with her lover. And the only way you are going to become her lover is to learn the art of teasing her, ignoring her, and absolutely busting her every chance you can get. Because she wants what she cannot have. You have to learn that concept. (The same as when you dangle a string in front of a kitten. As long as you keep the string out of reach, the kitten will go crazy trying to get ahold of it; when you drop the string into the kitten’s paws, it loses interest in about three seconds.) A lot of older guys just don't get it. They overdo it on the gifts and the dinners and the trips, and you’re basically just buying a woman who will have sex with you for about three minutes and that's it. It's not worth it. That’s true. It's like a lot of older men put younger women on a pedestal—viewing them as the golden prize they have to spend all their time and money on. They might also realize there’s a downside to dating younger women, especially the immature ones… Yes, there can definitely be a downside if she’s not mature. You’re going to get a woman who is going through the dramatic stages of her life, so she's going to be very inconsistent with her emotions, and what she wants. Older guys think that sex with a younger woman is going to be wild and crazy, but it's might actually not going to be that way. You might have much better sex with a woman who is Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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250 over 30. Some younger women are going to be crazy one night, and then not sleep with you the next night because she still has guilt issues that are left over from childhood. Secondly, she may have unrealistic views of the world because she has not experienced life. Sometimes the stuff that comes out their mouths makes me scratch my head. But in a lot of cases, when I was their age, I used to think that way, too. Look, some guys just want young women. They want that hot young piece of ass. It validates them. It makes them feel good. They never had it before, so they put up with the bad parts. Personally, I don't date women under the age of 30 and I'm 45. I've traveled the world and have run five successful businesses. I work hard. In my case, I don't feel that a woman under the age of 30 is going to understand me, and I don’t want to go back in time. But I've coached a lot of men my age who wanted to date women in their 20’s, and it's not a tough thing to teach. You mentioned earlier that many older guys default into buying younger women gifts, spending a lot of money, becoming a sugar daddy…what are some of the other ways they make mistakes in dating younger women? They don't look cool. They look like dorks. The fact is, they don't dress, hip, fun, or trendy at all. If you are going to get a young girl, you better dress the part. You don’t wear your high-waisted jeans or your Dockers to go meet them. You don't want to look like a nerdy accountant. Instead, you want to look like the business guy who is a rock star on the weekends. You want to dress the role. You want to be that person before you go out. For me, I can attract women of all ages—a 23 year old or whatever, with no problem—because I have a complete image that I’ve created. My image is based on confidence, attitude, and knowledge, and I dress the part. I dress hip, young, Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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251 and fun. The problem with most guys, especially men over 40, is that they don’t do enough work on themselves. They are not hip, young, or cool, but they want the young tail. If you’re going to go after the young women, you better know how to dress the part, and speak the language of the part, and walk the part, and talk the part. It's not about your wallet; it's about your game. It's marketing. You need to learn how to market yourself properly to get to the young women. It's funny to me to see older guys who just got off the golf course go up and hit on a young, hot woman, and all she’s picturing is one of her Dad’s friends who just came from the golf course. So what do younger women then look for in an older man? Experience. It's your life experience that works to your advantage. For example, you've got to really be a great lover, when it comes down to it. If you're a shitty lover and you’re in your 40s, well, she’s already had shitty lovers because she is used to dating younger guys. I tell every guy I work with to go take tantric sex classes, and really learn how to please a woman. Secondly, teasing a young woman, which older guys don't do, is a must. A lot of younger guys go out with a younger woman, and try to sleep with them on the first date. I always tell guys to play it cool and act like you got laid the night before, and look at her at the end of the date and say, "Alright, see you later. Goodbye." Do it with a smile and tease her. It's going to drive her up the wall. Don’t touch her for the first few dates, because then she's going to want to have sex with you. She's going to wonder why the hell you haven't touched her. She is going to think you don’t desire her, and then basically throw herself on you. I'm talking about understanding how younger women are wired, but also playing the part. You've got to understand what a young man is like, and act the exact opposite. In terms of your age and wisdom, don’t try to teach them lessons. Share things with them. Don't talk down to them; don't try to give them advice. Encourage Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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252 them, and share your wisdom and knowledge, because you have to become Michael Douglas. You've got to become Sean Connery. You've got to become George Clooney. You've got to become that cool, hip, older guy that will attract women. You've got to be it, before you are it. Are there tips or techniques you teach your guys on adjusting themselves to the age difference? Once again, you've got to speak with them and speak their language. Be open to what they want to do, but take them on an adventure that the young guys can't pull off. I'm not talking about buying them a great dinner. I'm talking about being a man with a plan. Meaning, when you go out with them, don't just take them out to dinner—anyone can do that. Show them that you are fun and playful. One of my favorite things to do with women is to take them to Target (the big discount department stores). When we’re about to go get a drink, I tell them that first, I need to run a quick errand at Target. When we get there, I give her 13 dimes and nine pennies. So I give her $1.39 and say, "Have you had a treasure hunt yet?" You want to show her that you are not stogy; you are not old. You want to convey a youthful energy about you. So you give her the $1.39, and then you give her the rules: she gets to go on a treasure hunt and she can buy whatever she wants for $1.39, but it has to be one item and one item only. She will canvas Target, looking everywhere! She’ll probably even try to negotiate another five cents out of you, and then you tell her again that the item can only be $1.39, and that's it. You are willing to pay the tax, but it can only be retail value of $1.39. It’s a fun little game to play. The idea is to behave in the opposite way of the typical older guy, who’s uptight and acts according to the typical script on a date. Let’s say it's the summer time; you take her to the park with the Frisbee. Do things that are young and fun. Have a barbeque at your house. You're not acting old. You’ve got the wisdom and success of a 45 year old man, but by doing those fun things you become someone who she never may have imagined she would go Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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253 out with. When your life is hip and cool, she wants to hang with that. And when you do those things, you create attraction. Where do you recommend guys go to meet younger women, and are there locations they should avoid? I tell guys all the time, "Be the story, not the cliché." Meaning, you need to create a “romantic comedy.” All women wants to be swept off their feet, whether they know it or not. So you have to be that guy who sweeps women off their feet. So, go out, approach her, learn how to speak her language. Forget about nightclubs and bars. When you’re in the supermarket, coffee shop or anywhere else, approach women very nonchalantly and casually. Tease her a little bit about the coffee she's drinking. Tease her about something she is doing. Here’s one of my favorite openers to use in a grocery store. I’ll see a woman buying a pint of ice cream, for example. I like to walk over and look at the ice cream, open the freezer, and then draw a tic-tac-toe board. Then I put an "X" in the middle and then I say, "It's your turn, I'll play you tic-tac-toe for that ice cream." So all of a sudden it becomes something playful. Then you start describing and talking about ice cream. Tease her and say, "Y’know, ice cream girl, we need to get together sometime. I have some great chocolate ice cream to show you." When you call her up, call her "ice cream girl." She's already texted all her friends about it, and to them, you’re "ice cream guy." So you need to meet her in a playful way. Everyday encounters like that one will beat meeting girls at bars and nightclubs any day of the week. Are there unique ways to close the deal with younger women, especially if there is a big age gap? Are younger women more suspicious than older women? I don’t think younger women are more suspicious at all. I think they want to meet someone, but they are suspicious if a man stares, lingers, and acts like a stalker. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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254 If a guy has no game at all and approaches with some pickup line, she is going to look at you and think you are an old guy with a cheesy pickup line. Younger women are looking for sophistication. Most younger women who are willing to date older guys are looking for a guy who is able to teach them things. They are looking for someone who is interesting and sophisticated. If you’re in a coffee shop you say, "I can't believe you're not getting the French roast. The French roast they have is amazing." Then start sharing a story or an experience about it, and then ask her which type of coffee she likes best. Ask her questions and share stories about yourself. Most young guys do not ask enough questions when they flirt. They mostly just use routines. If you’re asking her questions and sharing about yourself, you’re intriguing her in all kinds of different ways. What advice do you have on managing relationships with younger women? There is a lot of management in any relationship. You are going to have to realize that everything you went through 20 years ago, you're going to have to go through again with a younger girlfriend. No matter what you say, you cannot act like you know it all, because she is still going to have to experience it for herself and go through her drama. You’re going to have to listen to shit about her friends, because women in their 20s are always going through dramatic shit with their friends. She's going to cry one night because she thinks one of her friends doesn’t like her anymore and blah, blah, blah…and you’re going to have to sit there and listen to it, and not offer advice. You just say, "I totally understand, hun," and let her vent. Then she’s going to feel like you are the only one in the world who understands her, because everyone else is trying to fix her. That shit is going to come at you on a regular basis. You need to be prepared and ready for it. Not only that, but she is going to be more emotional than women in their 30s are. She's going to get more jealous. You’re going to have to manage that relationship, and spend more effort than you would managing things with a woman your own age. That’s just the reality. Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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Chapter 24: How to Frame Yourself as “The Prize” By Dean Cortez Hey Dean, I am 34 years old, from Norway, and I messed things up with a girl I like. I know your advice is probably to move on and meet new people, but I live in a small town, and there aren't many high-class women available. After a 6-year relationship, involving 2 kids and a bad breakup, I’ve been single for more than 4 years. I’ve met many girls since then, but none that I really liked, so I haven't gotten serious with any of them. Then I met this girl. 20 years old, from the next city. About a one-hour drive away from me. We hit it off quite well from the start, and on the first night we met we were already kissing, and she spent the night. She then told me she thought I was a bit old, and things cooled down. But still, we exchanged phone numbers and emails, so we kept in touch, also through Yahoo Messenger. We spent hours and hours chatting, and then she invited me there for the weekend. So, I went there, and we had a great time, but nothing more happened. I NOW know what I did wrong. I was being too friendly, and not like I would have done things now. But still, this increased our contact, and we decided to take a trip together with a couple who are mutual friends of ours.

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256 In the time between this decision and the trip (a couple of months) we met once a week, and tension was increasing. Physical contact increased, but no sex. But I was being patient, and the weekend of the trip, patience paid off. Finally. So I must have done something right! And also after we came back. Until a couple of weeks ago.... I felt things were going great, so I told her that I thought we should take things to the next level and make commitments to each other. And that's when it went all wrong. She was unsure, and instead of cooling down, I pushed on. Trying to logically convince her that this was meant to be, and so on. The classic mistakes. And when she wouldn't agree, I reacted with frustration, and pulled out. After a couple of weeks of silence, I made contact with her, and asked what would happen now. She is unsure whether she wants to walk down this path again. But the problem (for me) is that I have never met a girl things were going so naturally with, and I don't want to lose contact with her. I know making up for this will not be an easy task, but I am prepared to give it another shot. I am still convinced I will be able to renew contact with her, and when I do, I will use everything I have learnt from your classes, and not fall back to the wuss and needy idiot I have been. But I still need some advice. Is there anything I must avoid (apart from what I have said I know I have to avoid), and are there any great tips or hints you can give me? I am prepared to give her my best side all the time, being positive and confident, and giving her the same positive experiences I gave her in the beginning. I don't want this to end. But on the other hand, I can't force her, because then the game starts all over again. I'm NOT giving this up.

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257 Like I said, I live in a small town, and I just can't pick girls like I want. Cards have to be played differently here. I really hope you have some wise words for me. Best regards, Frustrated in Norway ***** First off, I want to commend this guy’s sincerity and honesty. I felt it in his words. Now I’m going to bring some nuclear-powered knowledge to help him get this situation on track…and get this girl back in his arms. Before I get into that, my friend in Norway, I’m going to need to smack you around a little bit. As I read your email, I spotted several “red flags”—tactical mistakes you made that you must not repeat with this girl again, or make with any girl in the future. I know you’re aware of some of the mistakes you made, but I know a LOT of guys will benefit from this analysis. Among the guys that I’ve coached, this is a situation I see all the time. They learn the correct strategies and adopt the right mental attitude…but only temporarily. As soon as they meet that “perfect girl” and sleep with her, they return to their old ways because they don’t want to lose her. The irony is, by being “super nice,” always being available to talk to her, and making it clear that you want her to be your girlfriend, you are letting her slip away—because her attraction you is decreasing.

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258 Let me run down the red flags in your letter: #1. After she spent the night with you for the first time, she mentioned to you that you might be “too old” for her. (You are 34, and she is 20.) Incidentally, I’m 34 years old right now, and I tend to date women that are 10 years younger than me (or more), so I’ve learned how to handle this exact situation. I’m guessing that the age difference was something you were concerned about from the very beginning. You were psyched to meet a cute 20-year-old, but you were probably worried that she would “realize” that you were too old for her. This is easily avoided. Here are two points to remember when you meet a younger woman: #1. Never try to conceal your age, and never express any concerns about you being older. Bring it out into the open right away, and USE your age as a way to make her want to prove herself to you. She should be the one who is worried she is not on your intellectual level. Once she tells you her age, you say, “Wow, I’m 34 years old and you’re only 20? I’ve usually dated women that are closer to my own age. I like women that are sophisticated and have some life experience.” Wow. That’s an extremely confident, direct thing to say to a young woman. It’s not arrogant or offensive. It shows you have HIGH STANDARDS with the women you date. Can she measure up to your standards? Well, now is her chance to show you. You didn’t say, “I can’t date you, you’re too young and inexperienced.” You said, “I date women who are sophisticated and experienced.” Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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So, if she wants to hang out with you, she’s going to need to demonstrate that she has these qualities. You’ve put a CHALLENGE out there, and women get turned on by a man who challenges them to step up! Now, throw her a question and make her prove that she can hang with a sophisticated guy like you: “But I have to admit, you do seem kind of mature for your age. So tell me some of the things you’re into.” This is so powerful on a psychological level. Right from the beginning, you’re establishing that you have no insecurity at all about your age; you love being your age, because it means you’re at a secure, confident, experienced stage in your life. You know about all kinds of cool and interesting things. The only question is, is SHE worthy of hanging out with a guy like you? #2. Turn your age into a reason for her to want to date you. As an older guy, you’re more worldly and experienced. You can teach her things. You can show her cool places, turn her on to great music, movies, art…whatever your interests are. I’ll say things to her like, “Last night one of my favorite movies was on television, The Godfather. It’s a classic. You’ve seen it, right?” (This can be any movie released prior to 1985 that you love.) If she tells you that she has seen the movie, you say: “Wow, I guess I underestimated you. I figured you wouldn’t be aware of any movies prior to Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt coming on the scene.”

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260 If she tells you she hasn’t seen it (and she probably hasn’t), bust on her a little. Say playfully, “I can’t believe you haven’t seen Raging Bull! Wow, there are a lot of things I’m going to need to teach you about...this could take awhile.” Either way, you’re framing yourself as the older, more experienced MAN who can bring value to her life. Very powerful! (Do you think the typical guy her own age has anything of value to say, or teach her?) The next “red flag” I spotted in your letter is that you said you spent hours chatting with her. This is another very common mistake, but I realize it’s very easy to make. It would seem that talking to her for hours, on the phone or the Internet, would build the connection between you and her. But it doesn’t. It makes her feel AFFECTION towards her, because you’re being funny, and understanding, and you’re a good listener….but it does not build ATTRACTION. One of the keys to making a woman feel attraction is limiting your availability. Before I improved my dating game, I made this mistake all the time. Because of my work schedule, I didn’t go out during the week. I was usually home at night, doing stuff on my computer. And if a cute girl wanted to chat online, I would be happy to spend HOURS chatting with her…THINKING that we were creating this wonderful “bond” that would lead to sex and a relationship. Well, it just doesn’t work this way. As a mature, successful 34-year-old man, you want her to know that you’re busy. You’ve got other shit to do!

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261 And when you don’t tell her exactly WHAT is keeping you so busy, her female instincts are going to think you might have other women in your life. (Women are hardwired to be jealous and competitive. Use this to your advantage!) Here’s another assumption I want to smash. You would THINK that letting her know you’re completely single and available to her, whenever she wants to talk…that you have NO other romantic options right now…would increase her interest in you. It doesn’t. You’ve got to frame yourself as the PRIZE. She has to WIN you. She has to step up because you are a mature, sophisticated guy who doesn’t have time for silly small talk and games. Are you seeing other women? If she asks you this question, say “I’ve been seeing a few people on a casual basis. Nothing serious.” This will only stimulate her curiosity and her attraction! Women are competitive, and when they want to possess something…but it’s out of their reach…they want it MORE. What’s more desirable to a woman: the pair of shoes that costs $700, or the pair in the bargain bin that costs $10? The shoes might look the same. But she desperately WANTS that $700 pair because it’s not within her reach. In her mind, it’s of massive value. So when she calls you, or sends you an instant message when you’re online, you talk to her for a few minutes…ask her how she’s doing…get caught up on Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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262 things with her…and then you politely excuse yourself and make a plan to see her again (in real life, not chatting online or talking on the phone). “I’m glad to hear from you, and to know you’re doing ok…I need to go handle some things right now, so have a great night...” Then you mention something that you are planning to do, and you invite her to join you: “By the way, I’m going to check out this new bar on Friday night, my friend Jennifer told me they’ve got great music and drinks. Come with me, I think you’ll love this place.” (Instead of a bar, this could be a café, a restaurant, an art gallery, a party, or any cool place you want to take her to.) Also note the fact that “your friend Jennifer” recommended it as a good place. In a subtle way, you’re letting her know that you’ve got other females in your life. Again, very powerful on a subconscious level! If you live an hour away from her, and aren’t able to see her every weekend, then set up a plan to have her visit, or for you to visit her. The point is, make a plan. After five minutes of chatting, any more time you spend talking to her is making you look available and lonely. Any interesting or meaningful topics of conversation should be addressed when you see her. Plus, this gives you more things to talk about when you spend time together.

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263 The next “red flag” is that you pushed her to make a commitment. In retrospect, you realized that this was a mistake…and it was. Trust me, if a woman is powerfully attracted to you, she is the one who will want to have the “commitment” discussion with you in the very near future. Especially if she senses that you are a busy, fun, exciting guy with lots of different options. If you push her to make a commitment, there’s a good chance that her attraction to you will cool off. Why are you asking her this? Why are you eager to be in a relationship? Are you desperate? Do you have some flaw that other women have realized? Never have the “commitment discussion” with a woman. As long as you’ve framed yourself to her the right way, it’s completely unnecessary. When you’re not with her, she’ll be thinking about you, and other men she meets won’t seem like an option. Make her wonder what SHE can do better, in order to have a committed relationship with YOU. Now, as far as getting her back in your life, you’re going to have to behave like an Alpha Male and let the chips fall where they may. I don’t mean you need to be aggressive, or cocky. You’ve got to be decisive. You’ve got to demonstrate that you’re a leader, and lay out a path for her to follow. Get her on the phone. Internet chatting isn’t going to help in this situation; it’s too impersonal. She’s got to hear the confident, upbeat tone of your voice.

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264 Tell her there is a reason why you’ve got to come to the area where she lives, or close to it. It could be for business. It could be to see a friend who is having a birthday party. It could be to get to get a new stereo put in your car. Whatever. Come up with something that sounds legitimate. Now tell her, in a confident and direct manner, “Since I’ll be pretty close to where you live, I’d like to take you to lunch—so what’s better for you, Saturday or Sunday? I want to catch up with you, and tell you about some pretty cool things that have been happening in my life lately.” Don’t chit-chat for 20 minutes. Don’t mention anything about “messing things up with her,” or “wanting another chance.” Just tell her you’re going to be in her area to handle something, and you want to take her to lunch and tell her about some cool things that have been happening in your life. This will make her curious, and if you keep this conversation short and direct, she’s going to love your confidence. You’re also being a leader and laying out a game plan that is easy for her to agree to. You’re not saying, “Can I see you again? I really miss you.” You’re saying, “I’ve got some things to handle, I’ll be in your area, let’s do lunch on Saturday or Sunday—let me know which day works better for you— because I’ve got some cool things I want to tell you about.” Okay, so what are the “cool things” that have been happening in your life that you’ll want to tell her about? That’s irrelevant. Come up with something to tell her about when you see her. Maybe you’ve got an idea for a new business. Maybe you’ve got a new hobby. Maybe there is Copyright © Dean Cortez, Simon Heong, David K - All Rights Reserved.

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265 some new project you’re working on. Maybe your best friend finally found a serious girlfriend. Whatever! That isn’t the point. You mention the “cool thing” when you see her, and then you switch gears and move the conversation onto other topics, and you control the situation. The point is, you’re going to see her again this way, and this will be your opportunity to radically change her opinion of you and be the confident, smooth, charming MAN you should have been all along.

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Chapter 25: In Conclusion… I hope you’ve gained a lot of powerful insights into the minds and hearts of younger women, and that we’ve armed you with the necessary mindset—and tools—to go out there and start meeting and dating these babes with greater skill and confidence. Always keep in mind that as an older man, you’ve got distinct advantages over the younger guys who are still struggling to figure out their place in this world. As we’ve explained, the “rules” that society and the media teach us—about what women “want,” and the type of man they’re looking to partner up with—are generally false. The greatest limiting belief of all is that certain women are “out of your league” because you lack the movie star looks, or bank account, that they supposedly insist upon. They don’t need any of this stuff. What they need is a MAN who can handle her emotional swings, and who brings value to her life. As a man, you were born with the tools to attract and date women of all ages and backgrounds. It’s just a matter of learning how to bring out your best qualities and showcase them to women in a unique, attractive way. Once you’re able to do this, the benefits will extend into all areas of your life. Men who enjoy superior sex lives and social lives are generally happier, and better able to focus on the other goals in life that matter to them. Whether your goal is to date a variety of sexy, exciting younger women, or to land your “dream girl” (who loves you for all the RIGHT reasons), now is the time to get started.

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267 Good luck, and most importantly, have fun with this journey. You have an entire world of beautiful, available, vivacious young women at your fingertips. They’ve been there all along, waiting for the right guy to come along and stand apart from the sea of mediocre, uninteresting, awkward men who try to play by the “traditional” rules—feeling the need to impress women, instead of holding themselves up as a PRIZE that women must win. This is the most powerful mindset you can possess with women, and in life. You, my friend, are a prize. Now it’s time for women to understand this— and for you to take your lifestyle, and sense of personal fulfillment, to an incredible new level. Here’s to dating younger…feeling younger…and always being young at heart. Your Wingman,

P.S. To learn our complete arsenal of tactics for approach, conversation, and developing “bulletproof” confidence, test out the “Mack Tactics: Women Persuasion Secrets” program. Click here to claim your bonus products and try out the Mack Tactics system, risk-free for 60 Days.

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Recommended Resource… For Communication, Persuasion & Influencing Women… Emotions of attraction in a woman is sparked when you can effectively and consistently create a roller-coaster of feelings: excitement, romance, anticipation and complete exhilaration in her. ... "How do I create that feeling?", you ask. Words. Words trigger feelings. It is in the way you communicate, you interact with women... that's where the "magic" happens. Mastering the art of "female" conversation & persuasion is one of the MOST powerful ways to "reel" the woman you want into you... FAST. This is the skill you cannot ignore - or you'll very likely have to settle for a woman that you meet out of CONVENIENCE, always feeling that you "deserve" more. Don't end up this way. If you want to know how to know how to charm, mesmerize, influence any woman to hypnotically give herself ENTIRELY to you, you can learn it all by downloading this: http://www.womenpersuasionsecrets.com

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If You Want To Have A Sexy, Exotic Woman As Your Girlfriend… If you’re looking for a *guaranteed* way to seduce & bring super-hot exotic women (dancers, strippers, social escorts, etc) back home for FREE (works every time), offering themselves ENTIRELY to you, check out the *secret* black book that women have tried to ban!

Having these women (even if you have no money and looks) as a girlfriend is every man’s fantasy. These women are experienced; EXTREMELY in tune with their sexuality and most important of all… they know how to PLEASURE their man!

It is JAM-PACKED with the BEST techniques on how to read a woman’s body language, how to flirt, how to create unstoppable confidence, and especially how to CLOSE super hot, VERY attractive women!

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http://www.bulletproofseduction.com/stripper/

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For Learning To Approach Women In Any Situation, Start Conversations & Build Attraction FAST… Are you curious to know the best openers & lines to use on women— whether it’s a day time situation, or you’re looking to pull off a “Same Night Lay” at a bar or nightclub? How’d you like to know EXACTLY what you have to do to approach and meet women and start conversations without ever getting blown off—or having to struggle as you figure out what to say next? Approaching women and getting the results you want is simple, once you learn the science behind the “Ultimate Approach.” Best of all, this 80+ page book is FREE! You can download it right here: http://www.bulletproofseduction.com/approach You’ll get the full arsenal of practical, real-world, FIELD-TESTED tips, tactics & techniques that you can use immediately to meet & get the women you want. You’ll learn specific “bulletproof” openers and word-for-word routines that you can use anywhere (bars, clubs, fitness centers, cafes, hotels, shopping malls, etc)…and also, how to RAMP UP your social value every time you're around attractive women with NO extra effort on your part. Download it FREE here: http://www.bulletproofseduction.com/approach

For Learning To Meet, Attract & Get Any ASIAN Woman You Want FAST… A HUGE number of guys are constantly writing in, sharing 'problems' they were having when it comes to dating & getting Asian women.

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And I don't blame them. Fact: It IS a REAL problem at this day and age because it's true... Asian women are TREMENDOUSLY difficult to understand. The way they view dating, love, marriage, and romantic relationships are COMPLETELY different than that of Western cultures. They are a different breed. Knowing little, knowing close to nothing about their culture, their language, their roots, it's really no surprise most men get knocked out... BAD. And most guys fail simply because they don't understand them: what makes them "tick": what their values, customs and backgrounds are... and how to push their emotional "hot buttons" -- the most vital ingredients to finding, meeting and "closing the deal" with the right Asian woman. The worse part? Conventional "westernized" methods of attracting them WILL scare them away! So, if you want SPECIFIC techniques and strategies for you to get yourself that exotic, enchanting, slender & LOVING Asian girl you've always wanted, download this: http://www.SeduceAsianWomen.com

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