Carnal Confessions

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Carnal Confessions An Ellora’s Cave Electronic Publication in association with author:

Marilyn Lee.

ISBN #0-9712177-7-7 All Rights Reserved. http://www.ellorascave.com/

© Copyright Marilyn Lee, 2001.

This book/e-book may not be reproduced in whole or in part by email forwarding, copying, fax, or any other mode of communication without author and publisher permission.

Edited by Tina Engler.

Warning: The following material contains strong sexual content meant for mature readers. “Carnal Confessions” has been rated NC-17, erotic, by three individual reviewers. We strongly suggest storing this electronic file in a place where young readers not meant to view this e-book are unlikely to happen upon it. That said, enjoy…

Table Of Contents

Sister’s Keeper Addicted White Heat

Sister's Keeper What are you doing here? The question reverberated in Kelly Brooks' mind as she stood in front of the large oak door. She glanced around her. The street was quiet, tree-lined and wide. The houses, all singles with decorative security gates and private garages, whispered money and elegance in the warm May evening. This was more Karen's style than hers. She had no business here. If ever there was a time for getting out of dodge, this was it. But before she could retreat, the door opened. The man who stood there looked as if he'd stepped off the cover of an erotic novel. He was breathtaking. His handsome face had chiseled features, a full, sensuous bottom lip and what could only be described as bedroom eyes. He was tall and well built with a buff body, long legs, and narrow hips. Just looking at him made her heart throb and her neither regions flutter and pulse. Suddenly she wished she’d wore something tight with a plunging neckline that showed off all her assets. "Karen?" She stared, her mouth slightly open. He had it all: handsome face, a great looking body, and a voice that made a woman tingle all over. Here was a man that embodied the complete female fantasy package. Or he would if the most important muscles in his lower body matched those in his upper one for size. She bit her lip in an effort to fight off the urge to take a quick peep to see. This sexy, mouthwatering man was Damon Evans? Karen must have been nuts to call him old. Forty had never looked so…utterly delicious on any man.

"You're early," he went on. "What a delightful surprise." "Early?" She blinked at him, confused. "What? Oh! No! Wait! I'm not—” Her half formed protest died on her lips when he swept her into his arms and covered her mouth with his. His lips were warm, insistent, and demanding, his body unyielding against her softer one. She closed her eyes and savored the taste of his caressing lips, the feel of him against her. He held her with one arm around her waist, leaving the other hand free to stroke over her body. He brushed a hand over her rump, pausing long enough to cup each mound in his big palm before slipping his hand between their bodies to caress her breasts. The touch of his hand on her breasts, even through her blouse and bra sent a rush of moisture to her panties. She shuddered and arched her back, pressing both her lower body and her breasts closer. "You like that?" he asked softly. She could feel the outline of what appeared to be a rather nice sized cock pressed against her. She sought his mouth and murmured, "yes," against his lips. "I like it too." He put his other arm around her, drew her even closer and kissed her breathless. She responded in a mindless haze, feeling the hardening contours of what was definitely a very nice sized cock pressed intimately against her as they kissed and caressed each other. Her vagina throbbed, aching to feel his dick sliding inside of it, all the way up to the balls. "God," she moaned, just thinking about it. She sneaked a hand between their bodies and cupped her palm over his groin, massaging and caressing his cock and his balls through his pants. He thrust his hips forward against her hand. "Damn. Don't do that unless you mean business." The hoarsely voiced warning was enough to bring her back to her senses. She snatched her hand away and stared up at him in wide-eyed horror. He stared back for several moments, in silence. Then he sighed and finally drew his lower body away from hers. He kept one arm around her waist, which was just as well because she found it impossible to stand without the support of his arm. Forget telling him he'd been kissing and arousing the wrong sister. "Are you all right?" All right? She longed to undo his zip and slip her hands inside his pants and fondle his big, bare dick before slowly feeding it into her body. She longed to rip off her clothes, spread her legs, and have him ravish her right there on his front steps. All right she definitely was not. "Are you all right?" he asked again, then brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. "Come in." Tightening the arm around her waist, he swept her into a large, elegant living room that was so perfectly coordinated, she knew it must have been furnished by a professional interior decorator. "Have a seat and I'll get you a drink." She nodded and forced herself not to follow his movement to a long, cream-leather bar by a pair of French windows. Pull on the reins, Kel. Pull on the reins. He's just a man. Okay he's a man with a killer smile, a handsome face, a devastating kiss, and a big, hard cock. But still just a man. Just give him his "dear Damon" message and hit the trail. He's not the only man in town with a big, hard cock. After

that delectable interlude with him, she knew she was ready for a man of her own. He sat beside her on the love seat and put his arm around her shoulders when he came back with the drink—leaving her breathless. "You look different." He tilted his head to one side and studied her. "What have you done to your hair?" Now was the time to tell him. That's why she'd come—to deliver bad news—not to fall for him herself. She ran a trembling hand through her short dark curls. "I cut it," she was amazed to hear herself say quickly. "Do you like it?" He brushed his fingers against the hair tapered at the back of her neck. "Of course I like it. It makes your eyes look even greener." He smiled and touched his lips lightly against the nape of her neck and she nearly purred with pleasure. "I like it and I likeyou." "You do? You likeme? " "Oh yeah. Let me show you show much." He kissed her slowly. As he did, he ran a hand over her breasts, down her stomach, under her skirt and into her panties. A burst of lust shattered through her as he flicked his thumb against her clit several times. Moaning, she closed her eyes and collapsed against the sofa. Part of her mind screamed that she could not allow this to happen. But she quickly slipped beyond rational thought as he slipped a finger inside her vagina. He paused, as if waiting for her to protest. When she didn't, he quickly withdrew his finger. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him, silently beseeching him not to stop. He smiled at her. "Don't worry. We've only just begun, sweetheart. If I'm really going to please you, and trust me, Iam goingto please you, I need some room to work in." She bit her lip. What did he mean? And shouldn't she stop him? He slipped off the sofa, kneeled at her feet, and took off her sandals. Her skirt, blouse, and bra quickly followed. When she lay on the sofa wearing just her panties, he rose and stood staring down at her. "You are so beautiful with your big, firm breasts, your long legs, and your delightful rump. Now don't you want to show me what's under those panties?" "Yes." A combination of lust and desire forced the word from her mouth. He smiled. "Then take them off and show me your treasure. Do it slowly. I want to savor the moment." She swallowed slowly, staring at him. He wanted her to do a mini striptease for him?Her? She bit her lip. "I-I…I've never…done anything like that before." "That'll make it all the sweeter, knowing I'm the first man you've done it for. Slowly now." Feeling as if she were a different person, a sensuous, uninhibited woman, she gave him a nervous smile and slowly lifted her hips up and even more slowly began to pull her bikini briefs down. She uncovered her butt, making sure to keep her crotch covered. Then, locking her gaze with his, she inched the soft silk material of her panties down until the top of her hair-covered triangle was visible.

She paused, enjoying the sound of his quickening breathing and the fact that his gaze was now firmly trained on her lower body. Wiggling her hips suggestively, she gradually peeled her panties down until what he had called her treasure what clearly visible. She drew one leg through the panty leg and then the other leg. Completely, naked, she tossed the panties aside. He caught them before they hit the floor and to her surprise, buried his face in them, closed his eyes, and spent several moments just breathing in deeply. The sight of him sniffing her damp panties aroused her to the point that she felt a fresh wave of moisture glistening between her now aching thighs. When he lowered the panties and opened his eyes, she spread her legs wantonly, giving him a full, unencumbered view of her wet channel. Stuffing her panties in his trouser pocket, he kneeled between her legs and began to kiss and caress her inner thighs with his tongue, lips, and fingers. Enjoying the delicious waves washing over her, she murmured softly, encouraging him to continue. The breath caught in her throat and she shuddered when he kissed his way up her thighs to her mound. He pressed several heated, frenzied kisses along the outside of her vagina before parting the lips and feeding several fingers into her—all while flicking his tongue against her hardened clit. Her insides contracted and convulsed around his fingers and pleasure radiated from her stomach and vagina, down to her toes. She moaned in protest when he pulled away…until she heard his zipper going down. Moments later, he was back between her legs, pleasuring her. She moaned in assent when he guided her hand toward his cock. It was hard and warm to the touch, big and thick. What a nice piece of meat. She didn't need any urging to enclose her fingers around it and gently begin plumping him. She strove to keep the motion of her hand steady on his cock as her heated passage quivered and fluttered to one intense climax and then another. She knew she'd succeeded when his warm, sticky come covered her fingers. He moved his body up hers until their lips touched. They kissed and caressed each other lazily before collapsing against each other, each sighing softly and deeply. "Is your bag in the car?" he asked later, when they lay in a tangle of arms and legs on the sofa. The question reminded her why she'd come in the first place. She shivered, imagining his reaction when he learned the truth. He'd be angry and probably hurt, but that was Karen's doing, not hers. "Is something wrong?" he prodded. She met his blue gaze and was flooded with renewed desire. She wanted him again, this time with his big dick inside her pussy. She wanted him and she knew how to get him. She and Karen were very different. Karen was a freelance photographer who liked partying. She was a CPA and liked quiet nights at home spent reading a good book or watching one of her favorite westerns, while waiting for Mr. Right. She hadn't pretended to be Karen in years, but as long as she was careful, she should be able to pull it off. Ignoring the last remnants of her sanity, she reached down and lightly touched his now flaccid cock. She rubbed it against her mound and felt it starting to stir at her touch. "Nothing's wrong." He reached out a hand to move hers off his cock and looked directly into her eyes. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Positive." She smiled at him, brushing the tips of her breasts against his chest. "It's just that I don't have my bag packed yet. I wanted to…make sure that we understood each other first." His incredible blue eyes narrowed. "What's there to understand? We share a mutual attraction and we want to be together. If you'd rather not go, you only have to say so. I have no plans to take you against your will." He rose and stood staring down at her, as he casually put his partially erect cock in his briefs. She reacted instinctively, reaching out to catch one of his hands between hers. His hand was big with a slightly rough palm. "No! No, I'd like very much to go with you." He stared down at her, his gaze intense. "Are you sure?" She was seized by a moment of panic. She was sitting naked in front of a man she didn't know, who'd just finished giving her oral sex. Worst, she had just promised to spend the weekend with him— without telling him she was not Karen. It was crazy and irresponsible. And it felt right. She nodded quickly. "I'm very sure." He smiled at her, leaning down to gently cup her breasts in his palms. "Good because I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to spending the weekend with you." She grinned up at him. "Are you sure it's me you want to spend the weekend with and not just my breasts?" He laughed, smothering each nipple with kisses. "God, they are beautiful," he admitted. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. "But they're not the sole or even main attraction." He reached down a hand to cup her between her sticky thighs. "That honor belongs to this sweet, fragrant treasure, which I eagerly look forward to introducing to my cock." "Oh," she murmured, biting back the urge to tell him there was no time like the present. Slipping a finger inside her, he lifted her chin and looked at her. "You'd like me to make that introduction, wouldn't you?" "Yes. Oh yes." She reached in his pants and wrapped her fingers around his pulsing dick. "Does he…does he have a name?" "I just call him my dick or my cock." He kissed her. "You can call him whatever you like, after you've been formally introduced." He flicked a finger at her clit. "Does this treasure have a name?" "Yes." He drew back and looked at her, his brows raised. "Yes? What is she called?" "Damon's Pussy," she said wickedly.

***** Sitting beside him as he drove to the Jersey shore, she tried to remember everything Karen had told her about him. He was a partner in a prestigious law firm and a widower, his wife having died two years earlier. He had a brilliant seventeen-year old daughter at school in Boston. Or was she sixteen and at school in California?

She decided that it would be best not to mention her since she couldn't recall if Karen had ever called her by name. It wouldn't do to be sent packing before she got a chance to show him that she could be everything that Karen was. His house was on the beach. She stood on the porch that ran the length of the house and watched the waves gently breaking against the shore as he carried their suitcases inside. She sighed, imagining what it would be like to make love with Damon on the beach in the moonlight, with the water gently lapping over their feet and legs. The sand would be soft and moist and provide a delightful cushion as Damon lay on top of her, his big cock pulsing and pounding in her pus—no…in Damon's Pussy. The thought sent a tingle of anticipated pleasure through her and she smiled. "The nearest house is half a mile up the beach. We can be nearly alone here." She turned to find him standing behind her. "Oh Damon, it's so nice here." He looked surprised and she realized she'd made her first mistake. "You say that as if you weren't here just three weeks ago." She turned away. "No, I only meant….ah…I had no idea that being here with you again could be so very, uh, nice." He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "You say the sweetest things. But then you're very sweet, aren't you?" He was so close that she found it difficult to breathe. "Am I?" He bent his head until his lips were so near she could feel their warmth on her mouth. "Oh yes, you are." He gathered her in his arms. His kiss was slow and intimate, the tip of his tongue touching hers before sliding into her mouth. She sighed and warmly returned his kisses while clinging helplessly to him —loving the way his body molded itself to her trembling one. She rubbed her groin against his. Making love with him was going to be too erotic for words. She was disappointed when he finally pulled away. "You have the middle room again." She blinked at him, feeling confused and dazed.She had the middle room? Weren't they going to sleep together? "I—I do?" He nodded, smiling. Okay. So they wouldn't be sleeping together. She was disappointed, until she realized that since he thought she was Karen, he and Karen had never been lovers. At least that's what she hoped it meant. “Okay," she said and followed him into the house. They ate dinner by candlelight on the patio. Just before the meal, Damon produced a vase with a single red rose in it. "A rose for a rose." A surge of heat rushed through her. "That's so sweet." He reached across the table to clasp her hands in his. "I can be sweeter still." She smiled brazenly at him. "Oh, that's what I'm counting on." He grinned. "Are you now?"

She knew she'd be sorry for her shameless behavior later, but all she could think about was how wonderful it would be to have him make love to her. After dinner they walked on the beach, arm in arm, stopping frequently to kiss. Each time his lips touched hers, she felt lightheaded with anticipation of the night to come. To her dismay, he left her at her bedroom door with a warm but brief kiss. "Sweet dreams," he whispered. She stared up at him, begging with her eyes for him to take her to bed and love her. He kissed her again, licking and biting gently at her bottom lip. "I'll see you in the morning." Alone in the middle room, she stared at her reflection in the vanity mirror. She had the same green eyes and auburn hair that men found so fascinating on Karen. The same dimple in her right cheek. Damon had spent the last six weeks wining and dining Karen and falling under her spell. She had a single weekend to get to know him. She hated to admit it, but she'd counted on sex making it easier for her to tell him the truth. Now she'd have to find another way. She stripped down to her panties and bra, and climbed into bed. She laid there for a long time, relishing the memory of Damon's kisses, taunted by the notion that he was so close and yet out of her reach. After the pleasure they'd given each other earlier, she'd been so sure that the night would find them tasting the ultimate delight together. Early the next morning, she turned on the percolator, set the table in the kitchen, filled two cups with coffee, and tapped on Damon's bedroom door. "Come in." Going into the bedroom of a man that she didn't know was not something she'd done before. But then before yesterday, she'd never let a strange man give her oral sex. Besides, she had to make the most of all her opportunities. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the big bed. He had broad, muscular shoulders and a big chest covered by a mass of fine, dark hair. He looked so sexy that she felt her stomach muscles tightening. There was a sheet drawn up to his waist hiding the rest of his body. But she knew the delights the sheet covered and she couldn't take her eyes off him. He smiled. "Coffee?" When she nodded, he patted the bed. "Come share it with me." "I…I don't think…I should…" "Probably not." He sounded amused. "Come anyway. I won't bite you…well, not much." Now was the time to stop this madness before it got completely out of hand. She'd desperately wanted to sleep with him the night before. For reasons of his own, he'd ignored her blatant invitation. So no real harm had been done. Yet. She only had to put the cup down and walk out. Instead, she sat on the side of the bed and gave him the cup. "It's black, no sugar." "Thank you." After sipping for a moment, he set the cup down. "That was nice, but it only served to whet my appetite for other things." His voice was soft, suggestive. "Oh," she said weakly. "What…other things?" "I seem to remember you mentioning a delightful treasure called Damon's Pussy." He brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek. "We discussed introducing it to my cock. You still interested?"

A flash of heat warmed her face, but she didn't look away. She nodded silently. He trailed a finger along her slightly parted lips. "Are you sure? I want you to be sure." Even contemplating sleeping with him was beyond insane. Nevertheless, she'd never been surer of anything. She nodded again. He took the untouched cup from her trembling fingers and gently drew her onto the bed. "I'll be gentle." He spoke against her open mouth as he stretched out on the bed, taking her with him. She kicked the sheet away and sucked in her breath. The only thing under the sheet was his hard, beautiful body. She allowed herself several moments to stare at the object of her fantasies, his cock rising fully erect from his dark pubic hair. Not only was it a very nice size, but it had a big head and was thick. God, but she was in for a treat. She closed both hands around him. "Oh Damon! I-I…I want you." "I'm all yours, sweetheart," he whispered in a deep, husky voice. She wanted to make quick, passionate love, but he had other ideas. He rained sweet, hot, hungry kisses against her mouth, her neck, her breasts, her stomach, before finally burying his mouth and face between her thighs. His tongue, fingers, and teeth invoked intense, almost unbearably luscious sensations all throughout her body. Her heart thumped, the breath caught in her throat, and her pussy gushed as she came and came. He cupped her butt in his hands, lifted her hips against his mouth and eagerly sucked at the juices flowing from her satisfied cunt. Stunned by the force of her response to him, she moaned and clutched his head between her legs. He kept kissing and stroking her until she fell back against the bed, gasping for breath. He lay with his face pressed against her stomach, gently stroking her thighs, while her heartbeat returned to normal. Only then did he lay on top of her, pushing her legs apart to make room for him. She felt his cock throbbing, hard and warm at the entrance of her drenched channel and her heart began to beat a new tattoo of desire against her chest. He kissed her, the scent of her on his lips. He rubbed the head of his cock against the length of her vagina, starting a fire raging in the pit of her stomach. "Are you ready to be introduced?" he asked softly. "Yes." She slipped her arms around his neck. "Oh yes, please!" Kneeling on his knees, he began to push into her. She'd never had a lover as big or as thick as him. She moaned, feeling her tunnel stretching to accommodate him. With just the head of his cock resting in her, he paused and looked down at her. "Are you all right?" She nodded, lifting her hips to urge him on. He kissed her gently, rested more of his weight on her, and pushed against her. This time he didn't stop until his entire cock was buried deep inside her. She sucked in short, gasping breaths through her mouth. He lifted his head and stared down at her. "Am I hurting you? Do you want me to pull out some?" She'd never felt so full before. It did hurt a little, but good lord, it was a nice hurt. "No."

"Are you sure?" He brushed his lips against her neck. "I don't need to be all the way in you." She ran her fingers through the short hair beginning to silver at his temples. "Don't you want to be all the way inside me?" "God, yes!" He moved his hips gently against her, sending a thrill from her stuffed pussy to her toes. "But not if it's uncomfortable for you. I want you to enjoy this too." She had the sweetest cock she'd ever had in her. How could she not enjoy it? She reached out and drew him down to her until his chest lay against her breasts. "Oh, I intend to enjoy every inch of your delicious cock. Now please—stop talking and make love to me." He kissed her again, this time his mouth hard and demanding. He withdrew from the warmth of her clinging body, and then shoved his hips forward, sinking all the way back into her. Shuddering on the verge of another climax, she surrendered completely to him, holding nothing of herself back, giving him full and complete access of her pussy and her heart. The touch of his lips, the thrill of his hands caressing her, the rhythmic thrusts of cock in and out of her pussy took her to a level of pleasure she'd never felt or expected. She lost track of how many times she came around him before he finally bit into the side of her neck as he shuddered and climaxed. While she lay in his arms marveling at how satisfied she was, he began to kiss and caress her again. This time they made love even more slowly, but just as satisfyingly. Afterwards, she pressed herself in his arms and fell asleep with his whispered words of endearment in her ear.

***** "Hey, are you planning to sleep all day?" Sighing contentedly, Kelly opened her eyes. Damon stood over her with a tray. He had shaved and was dressed in a pair of shorts and a pullover. "Hungry?" She sat up slowly, holding the sheet against her bare, rather sore breasts. She'd have to get used to having them sucked again. Not that any man had ever seemed to find that half as delightful as Damon had. She smiled at him. "Starving." He put the tray on the night table and sat on the bed. "No wonder. It's nearly eleven." He leaned over and kissed her. "I thought I'd go for a walk on the beach. Join me?" She nodded happily. "Give me half an hour." She sniffed the tray. "It smells good." "It's my specialty, a spicy egg and sausage omelet." He kissed her again several times, slowly and warmly, before getting to his feet. "I'd better wait for you outside. Otherwise I'll be joining you in bed again." She grinned at him. "Now there's an idea I like, cowboy."

His eyes darkened. "Don't tempt me." He pressed a warm, lingering kiss against her mouth before leaving her alone in the room. They went to Atlantic City that night. Over dinner she found him watching her with a weary look on his face. "What's wrong? Is my nose shiny or something?" Or had she somehow given herself away? He shook his head slowly. "No. I'm just wondering why you have to settle for a weekend with a man thirteen years your senior." She relaxed and met his gaze. "I consider being here with you a privilege, Damon, not settling. Besides, I know lots of women who'd love to be in my shoes." Not to mention filled with that luscious cock of his. "Do you?" She felt his shoe gently touch hers under the table. "These are the only shoes I'm interested in." Later that night she lay alone, hoping he'd come to her. He didn't and they spent their last night together in separate beds. She punched a fist in her pillow and turned her face in the resulting dent. What was with the man anyway? One moment he couldn't get enough of her, and the next he was quite content to leave her at the bedroom door with a series of warm, but restrained kisses. It wasn't until she was back in the center-city Philadelphia apartment that she had shared with Karen that the reality of what she'd done hit her. She'd let Damon make love to her, thinking she was Karen. It was only a matter of time before he went to Karen's studio and found out the truth. Then what would he think of her? How could she expect him to believe that she'd fallen in love with him the moment he kissed her, when she could hardly believe it herself? She came home Monday night to find a dozen red roses waiting with the doorman of her apartment building. The card said simply, "Thanks for a delightful weekend. Hope to see you soon. Damon." Why hadn't she been honest with him? If he liked Karen, why shouldn't he like her? She wasn't as outgoing or as witty as Karen, but she had her moments. And there was no question that she had pleased him in bed. So why hadn't he asked her out again? During the six weeks he and Karen had dated, he'd taken her out at least four times a week. She desperately wanted to see him again, but it would be crazy to do so while pretending to be Karen. Nevertheless when the phone rang while she was in the shower that night, she thought it was Damon. Grabbing a towel, she rushed to snatch the phone off the cradle. "Hello!" "Hi, Kel!" She wrapped the towel around herself and sat down on the bed. "Kai! How is everything? Are you happy?" she asked anxiously. She'd begged Karen to get to know Mike again before taking such a big step. She was a fine one to talk about impetuousness. She and Kai were obviously more alike than she'd ever admitted. "Yes. Oh yes, Kel. Don't worry. Everything's just great." She sighed happily. "Mike's still fantastic! It's like we haven't been apart for the last four years. The chemistry's still there. And oh, Kel, he has the most fantastic cock in the world!" She raised a brow. She found it difficult to believe Mike was a better lover than Damon. Not that she could admit that. "Oh."

Karen spoke after a short pause. "Well?" "Well what?" "Well, aren't you going to reproach me for talking about cock and sex?" Not when she'd thought of very little but Damon's cock since she’d met him. "No. If you say Mike's the best lover in the world, who am I to disagree?" Karen laughed. "Oh Kel. Life is better than good. It's great!" She smiled. "I'm so happy for you, Kai. I was so worried." "I know Kel, but you didn't need to be. I know you think it was foolish to elope with Mike after a four year separation, but Kel, sometimes you just know something is right. And when I saw him again…I just knew. Can you understand?" Oh boy could she understand. She nodded. "Yes. And I'm so happy for you, Kai." "Listen, we're getting ready to go to dinner, but I wanted to talk to you about Damon first." She bit her lip. "Damon? What about him?" "Well, Mike said it wasn't fair for me to ask you to tell Damon about us. He insisted that I tell Damon myself when we get back." There was her opening to ask Karen if she and Damon had been lovers and to tell her about the weekend she'd spent with him. But she couldn't. Not over the phone. "Oh," she said weakly. "I'm glad I caught you before you went to see him. I know how much you were dreading it. By the way, where have you been? I've been trying to call you all weekend between love sessions with my adorable husband." "I-I've been on the go…" She bit her lip again. There was no reason or need to lie to Karen. Damon wasn't the first of Karen's castoffs that she'd coveted. He was just the only one that really mattered—and the only one she’d done anything about. "It's about time. I hope you enjoyed yourself." "I did." She silently prayed that Karen wouldn't ask her anything else that would lead to yet another lie. "Well, I have to run. I just wanted to take the load off. Love you!" "Love you," she echoed and hung up.

***** She was on her second cup of coffee when Damon called the next morning. "Listen, I know it's short notice, but I was hoping you'd have dinner with me tonight." All her good intentions and common sense flew out the window. She'd be sensible some other time. "I'd like that."

"Great. I'll pick you up at work at say five-thirty?" She fought back panic. "Oh, no! No. I'll…I'll need to change first. Uh, pick me up at home at six-thirty?" "Fine. I'll see you later, sweetheart." Sweetheart. She held the phone against her breasts after he'd hung up. If only she really were his sweetheart instead of Karen. They had dinner at an Italian restaurant, then went to a club to dance. With her cheek pressed against his shoulder, and his lips in her hair, it was all she could do not to lift her head and blurt out the truth. He'd know soon enough when Karen came home. Until then she planned to enjoy every precious moment with him. "Would you like to come in?" she asked when he took her home. He cupped her face in his hands. "I'd love to, but I have an early morning conference tomorrow. I'll need all my wits about me." He bent his head and gently touched his lips to hers. "So I will reluctantly say goodnight." He seemed so tender. Maybe he would understand if she told him the truth now. She caught his hand as he turned away. "Damon?" "Yes?" "I…uh…I'm…not…" He smiled down at her. "What is it, sweetheart? Is there something you want to tell me?" She hesitated. It was almost as if he knew, but he couldn't. She'd been too careful. If she confessed and he spurned her, she'd have cut short their time together needlessly. "No. There's nothing to tell. I just enjoyed tonight, and being with you." He hugged her and she felt the unmistakable bulge of his hardening cock. "The feeling is mutual, sweetheart." She reached between their bodies to palm him. "Are you sure you don't want to come in for a while?" He responded by tightening his arms around her and deliberately rubbing his groin against hers. She shuddered and clung to him, lifting her parted lips to his. He kissed her, his tongue slipping inside her mouth in search of hers. The bulge between his legs got bigger and harder and her heart thumped in anticipation. She groaned in protest when he suddenly drew away from her. "Damon?" He shook his head. "Don't tempt me beyond my endure, sweetheart." He brushed his mouth against her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow night?" She rubbed her cheek against his chest. "Yes." A week later as they sat through the intermission of a Broadway play, he asked her to spend a

long weekend with him in the Poconos. She quickly agreed. "Do you see any reason for separate bedrooms?" She had begun to think he didn't want to make love to her again. Now she was pleased that he did. Not that it stopped her from being annoyed at his no frills way of asking her to sleep with him. Of course, after the shameless way she'd behaved, it was ridiculous to expect him to treat her like a shy virgin. Still… "No. No reason." He studied her face for a moment, then reached over and stroked her cheek. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. That came out all wrong. I want—I need to make love to you again, but I didn't mean to be crude." She was the one who had been crude, always thinking in terms of his cock and her pussy. She pressed her face against his hand. "I want it too, Damon." He gently tipped her chin up until he could gaze down into her eyes. "If we both feel the same way, there's no need to be shy with me. Although I have to admit your shyness is just one of the many reasons I find you so deliciously irresistible." Deliciously irresistible? She blinked at him. No man had ever described her that way. Probably none had ever thought of her that way. Knowing he felt that way about her was a thrill. She sighed. But then he didn't really feel that way about her. He thought she was Karen. "Oh cowboy. If only you did." "I do. I just told you that I do." He lifted her hands to his lips. "Are you sure there isn't something you need to tell me? I promise to listen to anything you have to say." She wanted to tell him, but how long would his patience last when he learned the truth? He'd despise her. She pulled her hands away and shook her head. "No. There's nothing to tell." They spent their weekend in the Poconos horseback riding, playing tennis, swimming, and taking long walks. She enjoyed doing all those things with him almost as much as she enjoyed making love with him and waking up beside him in the morning. One night he rented a double sleeping bag and they spent the night on a mountain trail. Lying on her back with Damon deep inside her and the stars overhead added an extra spark to the lovemaking. Her climax was so intense, it left her totally breathless and lethargic. But he had a ravenous sexual appetite that night. After allowing her to rest for a few moments, he pulled out of her, gently rolled her onto her side, got behind her, lifted her leg, and pressed his big, still hard cock slowly into her already satisfied pussy. She moaned in helpless pleasure as he cupped one hand over her breasts, fingered her clit with the other hand, and buried his lips against her neck, below her ear. As he stroked his delicious cock into her, he filled her ears with heated, love words. Just hearing him whisper how tight and sweet her cunt was, combined with the powerful movement of his cock, and his gentle, but relentless assault on her clit, sent her into a shattering climax in just a matter of minutes. He came moments later, biting softly at her neck and clutching her tightly as he filled her with his seed. When he slumped against her back, she smiled sleepily, thrusting her hips back against him to keep his satiated cock in her as long as possible.

As he pulled out of her, she felt their combined juices trickling down her leg. Feeling totally sensual and loving it, she smiled and turned in his arms. They kissed, stumbled onto the sleeping bag together, and tumbled in each other's arms. On the verge of falling asleep, she knew she was letting herself in for heartbreak. But she couldn't give him up until she had to. Their lovemaking that weekend was completely uninhibited and every fiber of her being told her she and Damon belonged together. She didn't know how she could keep him once he learned the truth, but she'd have to find a way. Her eyes glistened with tears on the drive back to the city. She'd had a taste of paradise with him and she didn't want to think beyond the moment. But Karen's return would expose her. Then what? "Sweetheart, I was wondering if you'd given any thought to marriage?" he asked as they stood outside her apartment door saying goodnight. "To me, I mean. I know there's the difference in our ages, but without sounding immodest, I think I have a lot to offer you to compensate for that. I'm successful and I can give you anything you want within reason and—” Her first reaction was one of utter jubilation. Then reality set in. It was Karen he wanted to marry. She pressed a finger against his warm lips. "Age is not the problem, Damon." "But there is a problem?" "I…why do you ask…I mean about marriage?" "Why do you think?" Although he smiled, he seemed unsure of himself. "I never expected to feel this…level of contentment and joy with another woman. Being with you makes everything…don't you think we make a perfect pair?" "Yes," she admitted. "And I'd like to get married, yes…” His smile vanished. "There's a but in your voice." "I don't want it just yet is all," she lied. "You don't want it just yet or you don't want it with me?" She stared up at him. How could he ask that after she'd given herself so freely and shamelessly to him? "I don't want it just yet. You are a great guy…” "But?" "No buts. You're a great guy, a fantastic lover, sweet, and considerate. What more could a woman want?" "I don't know. You seem to want more." He looked doubtful. "Should I be…discouraged?" "Oh, no, Damon!" If only she could find a way out of the mess she'd made she'd marry him in a minute. Forget marriage. She'd live with him if he wanted. "Are you sure, sweetheart? I'd rather know now if you're not interested in me that way. I—” Stretching, she leaned up and pressed her lips against his in a series of intimate open-mouth kisses. He responded with a passion and desire that left her trembling with need.

"Does that feel like I'm not interested in you?" She stroked his cheek. "I am very interested in you, Damon, and I am very sure that you shouldn't be discouraged." He sighed. "Okay, but I wish you'd give some serious consideration to marrying me." She bit her lip and averted her gaze. "I will, Damon. Just give me a little time to get used to the idea that you want to marry me." The night before Karen and Mike were due back from Vegas, she invited him on a dinner cruise. "And you want to pick me up, pay for dinner, and drive me home? That's…so sweet…incredible." His obvious pleasure at the simple invitation surprised her. "Haven't you ever been asked out by a woman?" she asked. He shook his head. "None that mattered." After dinner they walked along the riverfront in the moonlight, holding hands. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked suddenly. She shook her head. Her whole world was about to come tumbling down around her and there was nothing she could do about it. Once he learned the truth, she knew she'd never see him again. "Wrong? Nothing. Why do you ask?" "You've been preoccupied all night. I hope I'm not starting to bore you." She was amazed that such a handsome, charming man could be so unsure of himself. "Bore me? No!" "Okay, so I don't bore you. How do I make you feel?" "Isn't it obvious?" He stopped in the shadow cast by the docked boat and gazed down into her eyes. "If it were I wouldn't be asking, would I?" "Damon…" She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. "I love being with you." "You're not bothered by the difference in our ages?" She looked up at him. "For the last time, no. I like older men in general, I always have. I adore you in particular," she admitted. "I wouldn't care if you were sixty." "I'm so glad to hear that because I'm in over my head with you, K." She was thrilled by his words, but chilled by the fact that he hadn't called her Karen for some time. "Why…why did you call me K?" His eyes narrowed. "I thought you'd prefer it to Karen." He knew, of course. She'd been an idiot to think she could continue to fool him. She pulled away from him and immediately felt cold without the warmth of his arms around her. "How…how long have you known?"

He looked surprised. "Since the first night, of course." "The first night! But how—how did you know?" He shrugged. "I knew when I kissed you." He pressed a thumb against her mouth and she trembled. "Your lips are so much softer and so much sweeter than Karen's. And you're so refreshingly shy, blushing every time I came near you, even after we'd made love." He caressed her cheek. "Identical twins or not, the two of you are very different. Besides, Karen always called me counselor, not cowboy. I've never seen you with a camera or her without one. Since I knew you weren't Karen, you had to be Kelly." He smiled mockingly and her shame turned to anger. "You took me to the shore and you made love to me under false pretenses," she said coldly. "Oh no I didn't. You were the one pretending. Did I ever once call you Karen when we made love?" "No." At least not that she'd noticed. Of course when they made love, her thoughts were usually scrambled within seconds of being kissed and feeling his cock hardening. "That's right because I knew who I was making love to every time I touched you. Whereas you were obviously content to toy with me." "I didn't! Damon…I…" But of course that was how it must seem to him. "It wasn't like that at all." "Then how was it? Why did you pretend to be Karen? When were you planning to tell me the truth? Or were you ever going to tell the truth? I gave you several opportunities to confess, but you obviously preferred deception to the truth." She felt sick. He sounded as if he despised her. "I never intended to deceive you." "Then why did you? Why didn't you just tell me who you were the night we met? Where is Karen? Is this something you two do regularly? How long did you intend to string me along?" "I wasn't stringing you along! Karen eloped three and a half weeks ago with a man she was engaged to a couple of years ago. He showed up unexpectedly and they got married. She asked me to tell you. That's why I came to your house that night. But before I could say anything, you kissed me and…" Her eyes filled with tears. "And I just knew I wanted you. I guess I went a little crazy. You were everything I'd always wanted and needed in a man, and so I thought, why can't I have him?" She bit the inside of her jaw. The tears slid slowly down her cheeks anyway. "She didn't want you anymore, but I did. I'm sorry. I know you must feel betrayed and must hate me. I know it was Karen you wanted." "Yes, I wanted Karen," he admitted. She gulped in a breath and felt fresh tears flowing down her cheeks. She tried to pull away when he moved closer, but he cupped her face in his hands and caught and held her gaze. "But remember, you're the one I proposed to." "Yes, but that was only because you thought I was Karen!"

"Was it?" She bit her lip. "Wasn't it?" "How could it have been when I've known all along that you weren't Karen?" "I don't know. I'm confused. Damon, were you and Karen ever…were you lovers?" "Does it matter, Kelly?" What little pride she had left screamed at her to say yes. She answered with her heart. "No." He stroked a finger down her cheek. "Not to worry, sweetheart. Karen and I never went past the kissing stage." "But you would have if she'd come that weekend instead of me." He shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. Don't forget that she and I spent a weekend at the shore without doing anything more than sharing a few kisses. So if it's all the same to you, I'd much rather talk about you than her." "She's the one you really find attractive," she insisted. All right," he said in exasperation, trying to dry her face. "I did find Karen attractive. I find you attractive too. And let's not forget that it's you that I…" "That you what?" "That I love, my sweet, sweet, Kelly." "What? You—love me? Are you…sure?" "Oh yes." He gathered her in his arms and held her so tightly she could hardly breathe. Not that she cared. "This isn't the first time I've been in love, but it's the most intense. I've been waiting for nearly a month for you to become fond enough of me to tell me who you were." He bent his head and pressed a long, sweet kiss against her mouth, allowing her to feel his cock stirring against her. "If you could learn to love me just a little, I'd be satisfied," he whispered. "Just a little." "Learn to love you a little? Damon, I do love you. I have from the night we met." "You do? You have? Wow." He buried his face in her neck and she realized that his cheeks were damp. She touched his head. "Damon?" He lifted his head and she saw there were tears in his beautiful, blue eyes. "I didn't think you cared, Kelly." "You didn't think I cared? But—how could you have thought that? Why else would I have let you make love to me?" His smile was warm and tender. "You really are very sweet, aren't you? That could have been just a physical thing. People have sex all the time without being in love or loving." She blushed. "Maybe people do, Damon, but I don't."

"I didn't know that then, sweetheart. All I knew is that I needed more than that from you." She smiled, slipping her arms around his waist. "You can have anything you want from me, cowboy. Anything at all. As much as you want. All night long." "I want everything, Kelly—your intelligence, your beauty, and of course, your sweet pussy night after night. But before you commit yourself I'd better ask how you'd feel about having a seventeen-year-old step-daughter who can sometimes be difficult." "If you think that's going to scare me off, partner, you are wrong. I can handle anything as long as I have you," she said confidently. He grinned down at her. "You can handle anything, huh?" He took her hand and held it over his hardening cock. "Are you sure about that? I'm feeling extremely horny. Can you handle this all night?" She parted her legs, pressed her lower body tightly against his, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Damon, I love you and I love your big cock. I can handle you both all night long. Every night. Let's go home, cowboy, and I'll give you a taste of the joys in store for you."

ADDICTED

I certainly wasn't looking for a lover when I met Marc Walker. As a matter of fact I was still recovering from my break up four months earlier with my only serious love, Jim Williams. I'd gone to Patty's wedding alone because my roommate and best friend Maria was off visiting her parents for the weekend. It was at the reception that Chuck Harris, who worked at the same computer repair company as Patty and me, started to make a nuisance of himself. "Chuck, I mean it!" I glanced around the crowded ballroom, looking for someone to rescue me from his unwanted attentions. "I told you I'm not here alone," I said wildly and ran right into a very hard, very male body. "Oh sorry," I gasped, aware that my body was tingling everywhere it touched his. I felt the man's arms encircle my waist, drawing me close against his body. "I've been looking all over for you." As I stared up into his warm brown eyes, he pulled me even closer, rocking his hips against mine, bent his head, and pressed a sizzling kiss against my lips that made my toes curl in my shoes. At twenty-two, I wasn't the naive girl who'd given herself so trustingly to Jim the night of our senior prom. Still, I felt my heartbeat quicken, and my legs buckle at the sweet, insistent pressure of his mouth on mine just as though I'd never been kissed. And I never had. Not like that. With enough force and desire to heat up my whole body and make my vagina pulse with lust.

When he finally released my lips, I had one thing on my mind: sex. "It's all right. He's gone," he said, his voice deep and even against my ear. I stared up at him. He was handsome with a big, muscular body. I licked my lips, wondering if his cock was as muscular as the rest of him. "Who?" He smiled and I saw that he had a rather enchanting dimple in his left cheek. "Whoever you were trying to get away from. Having rescued you I think I at least deserve a kiss." Just looking at him made me hot. He was clearly the kind of man that mom said could turn a woman into a tramp. "You've already had two," I pointed out, backing away. "Those don't count," he said and pulled me back into his arms. I didn't resist. In fact my lips were already parted when his mouth closed on mine. Our tongues clashed and I practically poured my body into his embrace. I felt a rush of dampness in my panties when I felt the beginnings of a beguiling bulge against his hard thigh. "Lena, I see you've met Larry's friend, Marc." I pulled away from him at the sound of Patty's amused voice. She and her new husband Larry were standing just behind us, grinning. Embarrassed, I patted my hair into place and tugged at the hem of my short red dress, trying to cover more of my long legs. "She sure has and now we're leaving. Enjoy your honeymoon," he said. He'd pulled me through the crush of people and out of the ballroom before I'd gathered my senses enough to object. "Hey! Where do you think you're taking me?" "I thought you might like to come to dinner with me and then maybe go for a drive while we get to know each other." "I—I've already eaten." I bit my lip. "How old are you?" "I'm thirty-seven. Just right for you, don't you think?" He cupped my face in his big hands. "Haven't you ever heard what great lovers older men make? I'll take you places a boy your age never could." I stared up at him. "You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?" I objected but from the way my pussy was quivering I had a feeling he had reason to be. "Come with me," he said simply. I was a fairly straight-laced computer technician who was somewhat old fashioned. Jim and I had dated three years before we become lovers. And he had been my only lover. Although I missed making love, I hadn't been with anyone since Jim. Everything about this Marc screamed that he was trouble. But I must have been under the sway of his magnetic gaze because I went with him anyway. And I didn't protest when he stopped his car in the park and reached for me. "Lena. Such a pretty name and such a lovely woman," he whispered, his lips pressed against my cheek. "I'd like to get to know you." His hands brushed against my breasts and a delicious thrill shot through me. "All of you."

The only thing I wanted or needed to know about him just then was how quickly he could slip his cock in me. So I didn't stop him when he began fondling my breasts, kissing me or unzipping my dress. I was a willing and eager participant when he removed my wet panties. I cringed when I thought of it later, but I let him take me right there in the back seat of his car like some common five dollar a trick whore. But once I saw what he was packing—a long thick dick with a big leaking head, I had to have him. He was so much bigger and thicker than Jim. I knew I was in for a treat. He'd barely got the condom on before I laid back against the seat and spread my legs wide. I wanted that dick in me so badly. He got on his knees between my legs, parted the lips of my vagina, and began kissing and licking at my pussy. He slipped one, then two fingers inside me and began to finger fuck me, while still kissing and licking my clit. I nearly lost my mind. Jim had been a no frills straight dick to pussy man and I'd never known anything other than an erect penis could give such pleasure and joy. My whole body trembled and my pussy began to gush as I came. The feel of his lips and tongue eagerly lapping up my juices was a delicious finishing touch. As I lay moaning and shaking with the aftershocks of my first digital fuck, he straightened and positioned his cock against my cunt. I nearly had the breath knocked out of me when he thrust against me. The powerful movement of his hips sent his thick length pushing through the walls of my pussy in one yummy stroke until his nuts slapped against my behind. He clutched me around the waist and held me tight, his dick throbbing deep inside me as he slowly rotated his hips against mine, letting me feel every inch of him. "Damn, you're tight and hot. You feel good." I couldn’t think. Couldn't speak. Could barely breathe. I'd never been so full of cock before. For what seemed an eternity, he lay on top of me, making short, stabbing thrusts in me. The feelings emanating from my stuffed pussy were incredible. When he lifted his body slightly and began to withdraw from me, I wrapped my legs around his hips and clung to him. "Please!" I cried. I wanted that delicious dick buried deep in me. I begged for more, and cried out like a wanton alley cat in heat as he gave it to me. I awoke the next morning in his bed with his middle finger dipped in my pussy. Even as my cunt tingled from his stimuli, I was dismayed by the enormity of what I'd done. As I stared at him I realized that I didn't even know his last name. I had to get out of there fast! He smiled, pulled out of me, popped the honey-coated finger into his mouth, and licked it clean. "Mmm. That's good. How about a little pussy to start the day off right?" The muscles in my stomach churned painfully, my pussy began to leak, and I rolled over on my back, parted my legs, and bent my knees. He sheathed himself in a condom and rose about me, balancing his weight on his extended arms. I looked down our bodies. His cock, nestled amidst a mass of dark hair was long and thick. I'd never seen anything that looked so good. I had to feel that beautiful rod pumping in me one more time. He slowly lowered his shaft into my waiting channel. Even though I was wet and ready for him, I still felt gorged when he finally stopped pushing and was fully seated in me. Just for a moment, we paused to enjoy our tasty coupling. "Oh god this is good," he groaned, nipping the side of my neck. Good didn't begin to describe what was happening between us. Sex with Jim had been good.

This was stunning in its eroticism, staggering in the level of sexual gratification given. How could one muscle—albeit it big, thick, and long muscle—destroy me so completely? I gave up trying to think, laid back and just felt. His lips on mine. On my neck. My small breasts. His big hands cupping my buns as his cock worshipped at the altar of my pussy. I greedily sucked on his tongue. With my thighs shaking from the thumping he was giving me, I rode his cock to a blistering, almost mind-boggling climax. The shower we took together afterwards took quite awhile. We didn't have sex again, but we spent a lot of time kissing and touching each other. Although sexually sated, just touching his flaccid cock still made my nipples harden. Even with the cool water raining down on us both.

***** "Lena, where have you been?" my roommate Maria demanded two hours later when I let myself into our apartment. "Did you and Jim make up?" Maria and I were both from the same small town in upstate Pennsylvania where we'd had strict morals instilled in us. We used to spend hours talking about going to our husbands as virgins. Maria was still waiting for Mr. Right while I was fast becoming a wanton. "I'm sorry, Maria. I didn't know you were coming back early. I met a…friend." I felt the blood rising to my cheeks at the lie. "I stayed the night." "Anyone I know?" "No, I don't think so." "Oh. Well, what was Patty's dress like?" I told her about Patty's wedding in great detail, all the while thinking about Marc and his big cock. Was he thinking about me and my pussy? I slept badly that night and woke feeling less than able to face the world. I was sitting alone at lunch the next day when Chuck sat down opposite me. "I was worried about you when you left Patty's wedding with that guy." I gave Chuck a cool look. If I hadn't been trying to avoid him, I'd probably never have met Marc. But I knew I'd slept with Marc because with just a few kisses he'd made my pussy drip. Marc had awakened a sensual need and hunger in me of which I'd previously been unaware. Now I glared at Chuck. "Why don't you mind your own business?" "You know I'm crazy about you, Lena. Besides, he already has a woman." "If he has a woman, why was he at the wedding alone?" "He has a woman. I met them both at a computer show two months ago. Besides, he's far too old for you." I bit my lip, trying to remember if I'd seen any feminine clothing at his condo. But I'd been in too much heat to notice anything but his big dick Saturday night. On Sunday morning after our shower, I'd been too intent on getting away.

"Chuck, there's nothing between me and Marc Walker." Lying was becoming easier. My cheeks were nearly cool and I looked him dead in the eye as I spoke. "Now if you'll excuse me, my salad and I would like to be alone." Despite the fact that I hadn't told Marc my last name or anything about myself I'd been hoping he'd find me and insist on seeing me again. But he didn't track me down and I was disappointed. Fortunately it was Maria's night to cook dinner because I was feeling so rotten I would probably have burned everything. I pleaded a headache right after dinner and spent the rest of the night lying in bed thinking about Marc. I couldn't seem to get the smell or taste of him out of my mind. I kept reliving those glorious hours spent under his big damp body. I felt as if the weight of his whole body was firmly imprinted on mine. By the end of the week I was feeling so desperate to forget him that I went out with Chuck on Saturday night. He took me to a very nice restaurant by the waterfront. Though we had worked together since I'd graduated from college a year earlier, I'd never really talked to him. To my surprise, I enjoyed myself. It was during dessert that I glanced up and saw Marc Walker watching me from across the room. A beautiful woman, who looked as if she'd just stepped off the cover of a fashion magazine, shared his table. So he belonged to that supermodel type. I felt my cheeks burn with shame as I thought of our night together. What must he think of me? The woman with him looked at me, at him, and back at me. There was no mistaking the look in her eyes. She knew we'd slept together. "Chuck, I don't feel well. Let's forget dessert. I want to go now," I said. The surprised look on Chuck's face turned to one of understanding as he followed my glance and saw Marc. He nodded, the spark gone from his eyes. He signaled the waiter, but Marc and his lady friend were at our table by then. "Lena. Hello." It took all of my will power to look up at him. "Hi," I said weakly. He smiled, his gaze warm and caressing. "Lena, this is Catherine Edmond. Catherine, Lena Graham. And your friend, Lena?" They weren't married! I mumbled something incoherent and Chuck introduced himself. The supermodel gave me a hard stare. "Is there some reason I need to know you?" "No!" I said quickly. "Marc and I hardly know each other." And that was true. We hadn't spent much time talking. I knew a lot about his luscious cock, but nothing about him. Marc nodded coolly, took the woman's arm and walked away. Chuck looked at me. "Now you see what I mean. He's no good for you, Lena." Maybe not but I wanted him. Chuck was a gentleman when he took me home and I half agreed to go out with him again. I had a feeling I was going to need to be involved with someone to get over my infatuation with Marc. The next morning at work I was given a repair order for a laser printer at Calvin and Walker.

"Check in with Marc Walker when you get over there," my supervisor said. I half expected Marc to be all over me the moment his office door closed, but he was all business. "Here are some printouts showing the problem. When you're finished my secretary will sign the work order," he told me and left me alone in his office. It took longer to repair the laser printer than it should have because I was working with tears in my eyes. When I finally finished I spent five minutes just sitting in his chair with my cheek pressed against the back of it, wishing it was his chest. No matter how much I reminded myself that he wasn't worth a second thought, I couldn't stop thinking about him or his cock. I gave myself a lecture and left his office. His secretary signed my work order and I left. I was nearly at the elevator when his secretary caught up with me. "I nearly forgot. Mr. Walker asked me to give you this," she said. I resisted the impulse to rip the envelope open immediately. It was time I took charge of my life again. I slipped it into my purse and drove to my next service call, which occupied the rest of my morning. I opened the envelope while I had lunch at a small café near by the last call. My hands shook as I read the message. Lena, I need to see you. Unless I hear from you, I'll meet you in the lobby of your building on Friday. I promised myself I wouldn't go. We'd only end up in bed. But I kept putting off calling to tell him I wouldn't go. "Lena, let's treat ourselves to a night out tomorrow," Maria said at breakfast on Thursday. "You've been looking beat down lately." I frowned. "I know I haven't been very good company lately." She smiled. "Just since Patty's wedding. But never mind that. Where shall we go?" "I have a date already, Maria, but let's have a girl's night out Saturday." "Who's the lucky guy?" For a moment I considered lying. "I met him at Patty's wedding…and I…we…" Maria stared at me with a look of dismay on her pretty face. "He's the friend you spent that night with?" I bit my lip. "I know what you're thinking. First I slept with Jim and now him, but Maria…" I trailed off. How could I expect her to understand that it had been more than sex, at least for me. Maria shook her head. "Actually, I was going to say that he must be a very special guy." "He is." Well, at least I hoped he was. Maria and I spent nearly two hours deciding what I would wear for my date with Marc. "You'd think I was getting married," I laughed, holding up the strapless, calf length dress we'd finally settled on. Maria grinned. "Hey. You never know."

But I did know. "That's not what he wants from me, Maria." "Then why are you seeing him again?" It was so simple for Maria. If a man wasn't interested in marriage then she wasn't interested in him. But I had to see him again. "You wouldn't understand, Maria." "I think I do," she said slowly. But I knew she didn't. How could she when even I couldn't understand why I was so driven by sexual desire for another woman's man? I'd always despised women who slithered around with a man who was married or committed to another woman. Now I was ready and willing to become one myself. Marc took me to a small, intimate restaurant with soft music playing in the background and high-backed booths that created the impression that we had the whole place to ourselves. During dinner we talked about work, the movies, and politics. Despite the age difference, we found we shared many of the same views. It was over coffee that he turned the talk personal. "How is it that you don't have a lover?" "I just don't. But what about you? Who is…Catherine?" "She's a friend." "How good a friend?" He sighed. "We were close for a while. I was thinking of getting closer." "What happened?" He looked directly into my eyes. "You happened." I stared at him. "Are you engaged to her?" "No. I—this is going to make me sound like a first class heel. Maybe I am. We've been seeing each other exclusively for about a year and a half. We have a lot in common. We're fond of each other. I was thinking about asking her to move in with me the weekend of the wedding, but she had to go on a last minute business trip. And then I met you." His confession confused me. I was part ashamed that I'd slept with another woman's man and part eager to repeat the offense. "Do you live together?" "No." "Are you…but you're still seeing her." "Does it matter?" "Yes!" "Why?" "Because I have no desire to be the one you go to when you can't have her." "You mean you want more than a physical relationship?"

"Is that all you have to offer me?" "If I said yes?" I bit the inside of my lip until I tasted blood in my mouth. "Are you saying yes?" He stared at me for a long time before answering. "Would it be so bad if I was?" I was stunned. How could he not share my feelings? I looked away, hoping he hadn't seen the pain or the tears in my eyes. "I'm not interested in what you're offering." He reached out and clasped my hand in his. "Are you sure?" I jerked away from him. "I'm positive." But I wasn't. "Lena, Catherine and I—I can't just drop her. She and her family…they expect…" "They expect? What about me! What can I expect from you? To be fucked on a no strings attached basis?" "I didn't say that." But that was obviously what he wanted. I wanted him so much I was almost ready to agree to it. "Bear with me, Lena." "Why should I? There are a lot of other men who won't expect me to share them." He sighed. "This didn't turn out the way I'd hoped." "I'm sure it hasn't." He'd probably expected the night to end with us in the sack. That was certainly what I'd wanted. At the door of my apartment, he pulled me into his arms and rubbed his lower body against mine, letting me feel his hardening cock. "If you change your mind, call me." I had to bit my lip hard because I wanted him inside me again so badly. Somehow I found the strength to shove against his shoulders. "Don't hold your breath!" I told Maria about our date the next day. "Forget him. You deserve a man who respects and loves you." Maybe so but I wanted Marc, warts and all. Still, in an effort to forget him, I worked overtime nearly every night. I arrived home too tired to do anything but eat. Nevertheless, I lay in bed night after night, my head filled with thoughts of how sweet and warm his lips were, how wonderful his arms felt around me, and how exquisite his big cock felt making that first slow slide into me. So three weeks later I found myself standing outside his apartment door. It wasn't until he opened the door that I realized he might not be alone. He looked surprised, but pleased. "Lena! Hi. Come in." "Are you alone?" "Not anymore." When I didn't move, he reached out and drew me inside. He glanced at his

watch. "Have you eaten? Let's go to dinner?" "I came straight from work." I'd expected him to be very smug or complacent. I wasn't prepared for his apparent joy at seeing me. "I wanted to see you." There I'd admitted it. "I wanted to see you too." He smiled, his dark gaze moving slowly over my body. "And to get in that sweet cunt of yours." I went willingly into his open arms. That was, after all, why I'd come. He nipped at my ear. "Lena. Beautiful, sweet, Lena. You have no idea how good you make me feel." I turned my head until our lips were touching. I kissed him again and again until I was breathless. Then I clung to him. "Please, Marc…" He lifted his head and stared down into my eyes. "We'd better get out of here while we still can." He released me and opened the apartment door. "Let's go get something to eat." I pushed the door closed. "I didn't come here to eat." He pulled the door open again. "I know, but I really think that's what we should do." I felt really slimy, but I couldn't stop myself. "Don't you want to fuck me?" "Hell yeah! My dick is getting hard just thinking of your tight pussy." He stroked my cheek gently. "But let's go eat." He held me close as we danced after dinner. I trembled in his arms, longing to go to bed with him. But at my door, he kissed me lightly and turned to go. "I don't understand…" I knew I was behaving like what my mom would call a shameless hussy, but I didn't care anymore. "I was hoping that you'd stay the night, Marc." "We need to talk before we do that again, Lena." "We can talk later. Right now I need your cock." He put his arms around me. "Just remember in the morning that I tried to be noble." He undressed me slowly, raining kisses and compliments on my body as he exposed my small, firm breasts, my flat stomach, and finally my trimmed mound. He went down on his knees, gently parted my pussy lips, wiggled his tongue inside me and began eating me out. He had to hold onto me because in less than two minutes my legs shook and I came in his mouth. He licked most of the juices from the outside of my cunt before rising and pressing against me. When he French kissed me, the taste of my own juices on his lips sent an added jolt of lust zinging through me. I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck. Then without taking off his clothes, he unzipped his pants, popped out his lovely shaft, pressed me back against the wall, raised one of my legs, and thrust himself into me. With the wall at my back and him pumping his big cock deep inside my already satisfied pussy, I quickly peaked again. This time my orgasm was so intense, I couldn't bare it. Whimpering with pleasure, I weakly pushed against his shoulders. "It's too good. No more." But he hadn't come yet and he kept up the relentless movements until he did. When he finally stopped shuddering we both collapsed to the floor.

Later in bed, he stretched me out on my stomach, mounted me, and plowed into me from behind. In that position he achieved deeper penetration and the base of his cock rubbed against my clit on each upward stroke. He wrapped his arms around my waist, buried his lips against my neck and gave me the most glorious fuck I'd ever had. I told myself later that we had made love. But the truth was we went at each other like a pair of sex-crazed animals until we fell into an exhausted sleep. In the morning I was sated and happy. I rubbed my face against his chest. "Oh, Marc. I'm so happy." He didn't reply but I felt his muscles tense. I looked up at him. The tenderness I'd pretended to see in his eyes the night before was gone. There was just desire now. As there'd been last night. "Nothing's changed, has it, Marc?" He shook his head. "I don't think I did or said anything to make you think that it had, Lena." I was only too well aware that I was the one who had sought him out and thrown myself at him. "Are you still seeing her?" "Yes." "Are you fucking her?" He didn't respond and I wanted to cry. "Are you going to marry her?" "I'm not sure." "What about me?" He kissed my shoulder. "I want you in my bed, no matter what happens." My eyes filled with tears. "It's not just sex for me, Marc. I care about you." "You're very young. It's easy to get confused, Lena." "I'm not so young that I don't know the difference between love and lust." He stared down at me. "Love? Is that what you think this is? It's good between us. It's great. But it's sex." "I don't know what you feel, Marc, but I know what I feel." He pulled me gently into his arms. "Lena." I shoved against his shoulders. "I have to go. You probably want to see her." His arms tightened around me and he pressed his lower body against mine. I felt his cock, hot and hard against my stomach. "Does this feel like I want to leave you for another woman?" "I want more from you than just your big dick!" "I need time." "Time for what? Are you still fucking her?"

"You were the one who insisted we fuck last night!" The combination of anger and embarrassment was too much. I slapped him. "You miserable bastard! I don't ever want to see you again." I tried to scramble off the bed, but he caught my arm, rolled me over onto my back, and slid his big, hard body on top of me. "Then I'd better have one last fuck before you go." I wish I could say that he forced me, but he didn't. I was addicted to him and his magnificent cock. He kissed me and I became a wild woman. Kissing and touching him, clutching his hips, shoving mine up against his. "Please. I need your cock in me!" "Oh you're gonna get it, baby." He finger fucked me a few minutes to get me wet and slippery. Then he shoved forward, filling every inch of my pussy with rigid cock. He began a deep frenzied fuck, drilling me mercilessly until I lost track of how many times I came on him. Finally I'd had enough and lay limp and purring under him like a satisfied kitten. Groaning, he continued to thrust deeply until he'd emptied his nuts in me.

***** "Do you have to go?" I closed the second suitcase on my bed and turned to answer Maria. I'd come straight from Marc's apartment and began packing. "Yes. I feel so…cheap. I need to be home with Mom." Maria hugged me and we cried together. "I can't get him out of my system. If I stay here, I'll wind up in his bed again and again. When we're together, I do things that shame me later. But I can't stop wanting to do them." I took stock of myself on the long drive to my parents' upstate home. I didn't like what I saw. I'd run after Marc knowing full well that he had a woman without caring how she must feel. Mom took one look at me and knew. But instead of the condemnation I'd expected, I saw love and understanding in her eyes. "Can you talk about him?" I shook my head. She gave me a hug and let me cry in her arms. It was good to be home, but when Maria called a week later and told me Marc had been to the apartment, I felt my hopes rising. "What-what did he say?" "I gave him your parents' address. I hope it was okay." "No! Yes. Oh, I don't know." I spent a miserable weekend waiting for him to come. Every time a car came up the lane, I held my breath. I gave up hope of his coming late Sunday night. I was lying in a hammock on the following Friday afternoon dreading going back to Philadelphia on Sunday when my mother came into the yard. "Lena, there's someone to see you."

I ran through the short list of people I hadn't yet seen and came up blank. "Who is it, Mom?" "He says his name is Marc Walker." I jumped up. "Marc? He's—here…?" "If you don't want to see him, I'll tell him to go." "No! I'll…" I patted my hair, wishing I was wearing something more glamorous than jeans and a tee shirt. "Where is he?" "In the living room." He was pacing back and forth when I entered the room. He smiled when he saw me. "Hey." I shook my head and held up a hand meant to keep him from coming any closer. "Why are you here?" He seemed surprised by the question. "To see you." "Why?" He shrugged. "I told Catherine that it was over between us. I'd like to—would you come back to Philadelphia with me?" My first inclination was to yell a resounding yes, but I fought back the urge. "I don't think so." He ran a hand through his hair. "Lena, I—okay. Will you at least allow me to come up here to see you?" I felt so happy I felt as if I could float. "Why?" "Why?" He paced the floor in front of me. "Because I want—I need to see you. Please tell me you still want me." "Maria told me you were at the apartment last weekend. What took you so long?" All my noble notions of how badly I'd behaved toward Catherine Edmond were washed away by my jealousy. "Were you with her having a last roll in the hay?" "I haven't touched Catherine since I met you." "Then where have you been? What have you been doing?" I hated the fact that I sounded so jealous but I couldn't seem to help it. "Who have you been with?" His gaze turned frigid, but I didn't flinch. For once I felt on even ground with him. This time he had sought me out. "Well? Where were you?" "There is no one else. But before I could come to you, I had to tell her it was over. I owed her that much. I've treated you both very badly, but her worse than you." I couldn't deny that, but I wasn't backing off. "And that took a week?" "She avoided me. It took me a week to find her staying at her aunt's home in California." He sighed. "She was hoping I'd get over you before I found her." "Did you?"

"No! It would take more than a week to get over you." His voice was soft now and his eyes were warm. I felt my stomach muscles churning with desire. "What—what will it take?" "I don't know. I don't want to know." He grinned at me. "I don't want to be over you." That was enough to start with. I flung myself into his arms. His lips were soft and very gentle against mine. He lifted his head after just a few moments, allowing me to gaze into his eyes. "Oh, Marc. You mean it's not just…sex for you anymore?" He gathered both my trembling hands in one of his against his chest. With his other hand, he wiped the tears from my cheeks. "I don't know that it was ever just sex, Lena. I know I said that's what it was, but…believe it or not, I don't sleep around. And I don't cheat." He looked at me and grimaced. "Well, at least not until I met you. I just know I want to be with you." "I need you, Marc," I whispered, afraid even now to admit that I loved him. He bent his head and kissed me very gently. "And I need you." "You mean you want me." "I mean exactly what I say. I know the difference between need and want. I need you, Lena." "Just need, Marc? Not love?" He shrugged, looking helpless. "I don't know that I've ever really been in love. I'm not sure what it feels like. I just know that when I think about the future, you're always in the picture. Give me another chance? Let's explore our feelings for each other. I have a feeling we'll discover you are not the only one in love here." Okay, so it wasn't a marriage proposal—yet. It wasn't even the full admission of love I was longing for—yet. But it was a big step in the right direction and I was suddenly confident that both a full admission of love and a marriage proposal would be forthcoming before long. He’d given up his supermodel and came after me. And I do love him. I'm hoping that means he loves me too. In the meantime, I only know that being with him is all that matters to me. For now. But the look in his eyes gives me hope that he's in this for the long haul. Just to help him see what he'll be getting on a regular basis when he fully commits to me, I intend to take him out back and along the trail behind the house. And when we're deep enough in the woods surrounding the house, I'm going to go down on my knees, unzip his pants, uncork that lovely cock of his and suck on it like a lollipop until he comes in my mouth. Then I'm gonna show him how awesome a love-motivated fuck can be.

WHITE HEAT

I woke in the middle of the night to the totally delightful sensation of Steve's naked body sliding up mine, his rock hard cock nestled between the lips of my pussy. His warm lips nibbled at that special spot on my neck just below my left ear. That never failed to infuse my whole body with heat and need for him. "Oh, Steve…" I wrapped my arms around his neck, rubbing my mound against his throbbing dick. "Yeah, girl." His deep voice held a question. He never took my acquiescence for granted, even after twelve years of marriage. Even when I was clinging to his neck, a trembling mass of need for his big, sleek, ebony cock. "Yes," I pleaded, lovingly massaging the hard muscles of his rump. "Oh yes, lover. Yes." "Yeah, Tasha, girl." He settled his hips firmly on mine, slowly sliding the big head of his dick into my waiting, wet body. I shuddered and nearly came. There was nothing in the world half as exquisite as the first electric touch of his big cock. Moaning in anticipation of the pleasure I knew was coming, I threw my hips upward, greedily enveloping him into my clenching body. I knew he loved to have me wrap my legs around his waist and undulate my body against his like a wave breaking against the shore as he pumped his hard, pulsating length deep inside me. Sex that night was particularly hot and explosive. I lost track of how many times we pushed and pumped and pounded each other into sweet, searing bliss. He came in me again and again. When we finally fell apart, I felt his sticky cum leak out of my sated pussy and drip down my thigh. "Damn, girl, that was good!" "It was de-LICIOUS, Detective Long," I countered. He was gone when I woke again later that morning. I sat up and looked at my night table. When Steve left for work before I woke, he often left a note. Last night was the bomb, girl. Keep that tight wet pussy of yours ready for me. Smiling, I sank back against the pillow and continued reading. Jake and I will be part of an undercover sting, so I probably won't see you until tomorrow. But don't worry. Jake's got my back. Love you, girl. Steve. I laid there smiling as I remembered our early morning lovemaking until I heard JR's bedroom door open. "Mom! Mom, you awake?" JR was a healthy ten-year-old with an excellent pair of lungs. I glanced at my bedside clock and groaned. It was barely seven o'clock. Steve and I almost needed a crane to get JR out of bed at seven on school mornings. "Be there in a sec," I called and scrambled out of bed. Later that morning when JR was heading to the Poconos with his scout troop, I was in the living room ironing with the radio tuned to the local news station when I heard the beeping sound that signaled a special bulletin. "This just in," the newscaster announced. "A police officer was seriously wounded this afternoon in a shoot out in the East Park section of the city. The officer's name is being withheld

until his next of kin can be notified." With a pounding heart, I sat the iron down and looked around for the cordless phone. It was on the sideboard. During the ten years Steve had been on the force, we'd developed a system. Whenever he heard about a police officer getting hurt or killed, either he or Jake would call me ASAP to let me know they were okay. They'd never taken more than an hour to call, even when they were on a stake out. Two hours later, as I was getting really scared, the doorbell rang. He'd come instead of calling. "Thank you, Lord," I whispered and ran through the house and threw open the door. "Steve! I—” But it was Steve's partner, Jake Diamond. One look at his pale face and I started shaking. "Jake! I heard about the shooting. Steve was shot, wasn't he?" He swallowed several times and nodded. I grabbed his shirt. "Oh God, Jake! How bad is he? What hospital have they taken him to?" "Honey—I…" I looked past him and saw his car, a dark sedan, parked haphazardly at the curb. "I'll just get my purse and we can go to him. Please God, let him be okay." Feeling more afraid than I'd ever felt before, I started to walk away. I'd only reached the living room door before Jake grabbed me and turned me to face him. "Honey, I don't know how to say this, but—” I tried to pull away. "Jake, we can talk later! I just need to get to him now." His grip on my arms tightened and part of me died as I saw the tears welling in his eyes. "Honey…honey…he didn't make it." "What?" "I'm so sorry, but he—he died at the scene." "No! You liar!" I tore myself away from him and began hitting him with my fists. "You lying bastard! He's not dead! He can't be! He said you had his back! Why are you still alive when he's dead? Why are you still alive? You bastard!" He made no effort to stop me from hitting him and I continued pummeling his body until I collapsed, sobbing hysterically. Then he was on his knees beside me, crying with me and trying to hold me in his arms. "Take your hands off me!" I screamed. "How could you let him get killed? Where were you when he needed you?" He stared at me, tears mixing with the blood I'd drawn on his face. "Honey, honey, please…" "Don't you honey me. Don't you ever call me that again! You get out! I never want to see your white behind again!" "You don't mean that. You can't mean that!" "I do! I do! Get out! Now!"

The following days passed in a blur. The house was filled with family, friends, and police officers offering condolences and just sitting with me and JR. I couldn't feel anything. I'd seen Steve's body, but I couldn't accept that he really was dead until I saw Jake again. Then it all came back. I felt a wave of hate wash over me that he was alive while my husband was dead. "Get out of here!" He spread his hands helplessly. "Honey, please, I would have died to save him. You know that!" "Then why aren't you dead too?" I heard the gasps of the others gathered and knew they were shocked, but I couldn't help hating the sight of Jake. "Tasha, baby, you don't mean that." My mother squeezed my shoulders and looked at Jake. "She's upset. She doesn't mean—" "I do mean it!" I pulled away from my mother and stormed over to stare up at Jake. His face still bore the traces of the bruising from where I'd battered him and I had to clench my hands into fists to keep from clawing my nails down his face. "Get out and don't come back! JR and I don't ever want to see you again." "Mom!" JR grabbed my hand in protest. "Mom, we need Uncle Jake." "He's not your uncle, JR. He's the man who let your father get killed!" Jake blanched and turned and walked out of the house. I didn't see him again until the funeral. I allowed him to be a pallbearer because I knew that's what Steve would have wanted, but I refused to allow him to come back to the house afterwards. The weeks following Steve's funeral were horrible. I fell asleep every night, reliving our last night together. I savored the remembrance of how wildly we’d made love. Knowing I'd never experience that joy again was almost more than I could bear. Jake called often, but I couldn't talk to him. "Girl, you know that man would have died for Steve," my best friend Tia said one night after I'd again refused to take Jake's call. "The man is white," I said bitterly. "And because of that my Steve is dead." "What does that—” she sighed. “You know Steve trusted him with his life." "And look where it got him. I don't want him anywhere near me or JR ever again." She gave me an angry pat. "Oh, so it's all about whatyou want. Well, what about want JR wants and needs?" "JR doesn't want to see him either." "Girl, you are talking foolish and you know it. You know how JR feels about him and you know how Steve felt about him. I am not going to sit here listening to this. You know in your heart that if there was anything that man could have done to save Steve, he would have. Or have you conveniently forgotten that he got shot three years ago because he jumped in front of a bullet meant for Steve?"

"So what. It was just a scratch." "He was in the hospital a week!" I stared at her with angry tears streaming down my cheeks. "Fine! But this time he let him get killed!" "Girl, get a grip. Remember he and Steve were friends since high school. How do you think he's feeling?" I guess I knew she was right, but I needed someone to hate. And at six foot two and roughly a hundred and ninety pounds, Jake made a nice sized target. "So?" She hugged me. "So? You know you and JR are all he has. He needs to be with you." I shook my head. "No." "Yes." She gripped my hands. "You've kept him away for over four months. You think that's what Steve would have wanted?" That shook me because I knew it wasn't. Steve had often told me that Jake was like the brother he'd never had. "I don't know." "Tash, do the right thing." She sighed, shaking her head. "If you'd talked to him just now, you would have heard how…I'm afraid for him. Call him to make sure he's all right." "So now I'm supposed to be his keeper?" "No. Just a friend. As he's been yours and Steve's for years. Don't you think he needs a friend right now?" "He has other friends." "None as close as you and Steve. You know that. Tash, the man sounded as if…you'd better call him. Tonight. Now." I shook my head. "I wouldn't know what to say to him. The breech between us is too wide now." "Narrow it. Go see him." I thought of the things I'd said to him. Things I couldn't take back. Things I didn't want to take back. "I can't leave JR alone." "Alone? So I'm nobody now?" She pulled me up from the sofa. "Go see him. Stay the night if you have to. I'll stay with JR." Jake had a small ranch on the other side of town. I knew he was home because his car was in the driveway and his house lights were on. But he didn't respond to the bell. I wanted to go home, but deep in my heart, I knew I'd treated him badly. And I did miss him. During the past six years, he'd had dinner with us at least twice a week. He stood in for Steve at any father-son event with JR that Steve couldn't make. He sent me a dozen red roses on my birthday and sometimes for no reason at all. And he'd always provided a shoulder to cry on whenever Steve and I were fighting.

In fact, I'd once told Steve that when I needed to hear an endearment I went to Jake. Steve's idea of an endearment had been to call me "girl," in that deep voice of his that I'd loved so much. Steve had often joked that Jake called me honey so often he must think it was my name. I rang the bell again. When he still didn't answer the door, I walked around the house and peeked in the window of his living room and nearly screamed. Jake was sprawled in a recliner with his gun in his hand, pointing it toward his body. With a pounding heart, I ran back around to the front of the house, digging in my handbag for the key to his front door. I was shaking so hard, I couldn't get the key in the lock. "God, please! Help me!" I prayed. I stepped back from the door and took several deep breaths. When my hand was steadier, I opened the door and ran down the hall to the living room. "Jake! Oh, God, Jake, what are you doing?!" He didn't answer, but lifted the gun higher. "No!" I screamed and ran across the room to his chair. "No!" I grabbed his arm and tried to wrestle the gun away. He resisted and lifted his free hand to push me away. I stumbled back and nearly lost my balance. "Jake! Jake, what are you doing?" When he turned to look at me, the anguished look in his eyes made me realize how badly I'd hurt him. He'd loved Steve like a brother and I'd treated him like dirt and kicked him to the curb and beat him down. Tia had been right. He needed comfort too. I hated myself. "Jake—what are you doing?" "Cleaning my gun." I'd never heard him sound so miserable and defeated. I glanced wildly around. I saw none of the paraphernalia I knew was necessary for gun cleaning. "Jake…" I bit my lip and inched forward. "What are you doing?" He pointed a finger at me. "I'm thinking of taking care of your little problem." "What…what problem?" He shrugged and took a deep sobbing breath that made me ache for him. "Of my being alive when Steve is dead." My eyes filled with tears and terror filled me as I realized that I'd driven him to this point. "No! No! I didn't mean that, Jake!" "Oh, yes you did. Don't you stand there lying to me. We both know you meant it. You want me dead. Well, damn you, if that's what it takes to get your forgiveness, I'll give you want you want!" "No! No!" I stumbled over to the chair, grabbing his arm. "No, you selfish bastard! You put that gun down! How much grief do you think me and JR can bear? We can't lose you too! You put that gun down now!" He pushed me away again and I scrambled to my knees, fear clutching at my heart. When I realized how close he was to shooting himself, I think that's the first time I realized how much he meant to

me. How much emptier I'd feel if he were dead too. "No! No! God, Jake, no! No! Oh, God, don't!" He stared at me, his eyes filling with tears. "Damn you, Tasha! How could you shut me out of your life? How could you think for a single moment that I wouldn't have died to protect Steve? You think I would have allowed anyone to take him from you and JR if I could have prevented it? I tried, damn it, but I couldn't reach him in time! It happened so fast. I heard the shot and when I got there…he was lying on the ground. When I picked him up and knew he was dead, part of me died too!" He put his free hand over his face and sobs shook his body. I was used to Jake being strong. Strong for Steve, strong for me, and strong for JR. To see him sobbing like this was more than I could stand. "Don't. Please!" I rushed to him and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sorry, Jake. So sorry." I reached for the gun and this time he allowed me to remove it from his hand. I put the safety on, placed it on the table out of his reach and wrapped my arms around him. "Oh, Jake. Jake, I am so sorry for hurting you." His arms went around me and he buried his face against my breasts. "Oh God, I can't stand the pain anymore. I failed you and JR. I let Steve get killed!" "No."I pulled away and cupped his face in my hands. "No. You didn't fail us. You've never failed us! It wasn't your fault, Jake. I know that. I’ve always known that. I was just hurting so badly…I needed someone to blame." He stared up at me. "I feel empty. I have nothing and no one." "That's not true." I stroked his damp cheeks. "You have me and JR. We need you, Jake." "I would have died to protect him. If I could, I would have taken that bullet. I just couldn't get there in time," he said hoarsely. "I know that. I always have." I stroked my fingers through his dark silky hair. It was longer than he usually wore it and he looked as if he hadn't shaved in days. I sighed. "I am just so—sorry I made this so much harder for you. Forgive me, Jake." He stared up at me, his eyes filled with sorrow. "I'm the one who needs to be forgiven." He pulled me down onto his lap and pressed his cheek against mine. "I thought I'd die when you wouldn't let me be there for you and JR. I need to be with you both." His arms tightened around my waist. "Oh honey, I've missed you," he said wearily. "We've missed you too, Jake." When I turned to face him, he leaned forward and devoured my lips with his mouth. At the contact, a series of electric charges sizzled through my body, making my flesh clench and throb. It wasn't the first time he'd kissed me on the mouth. When his parents had been killed in a plane crash two years earlier, he'd been so distraught that Steve had asked me to spend the weekend with him. "He needs a woman's touch, and right now girl, you're the only woman in his life." That first night, I'd held him in my arms, kissing his hair and rocking him. When he lifted his head, his blue eyes wide, looking like a little lost boy, I'd done what I did when JR looked like that: I leaned down and kissed him gently. He'd responded by kissing me back. We'd traded a few gentle, healing kisses that had held no trace of passion. And although I'd been vaguely aware that he was slightly aroused, he'd made no "move" on me.

So it was strange to feel the rush of desire that surged through me when he kissed me now. Maybe it was sitting on his lap while he held onto me like he'd never let me go again. Or maybe I'd missed him so much. I don't know. I just know that one moment I wanted to comfort him, and the next I'd wrapped by arms around his neck and I was eagerly returning his kiss, conscious of a mounting need to feel him inside of me. His lips were warm and sweet against mine. He kissed me slowly, as if savoring the taste and feel of my mouth. With a gentle tenderness that took my breath away, he encouraged me to part my lips. When I did, I felt his tongue, warm and moist, searching for mine. I leaned into him and he deepened the kiss. Within moments, I could feel him hardening under my buns. When I felt his big hands brushing against my breasts, I shivered and dragged my mouth away from his. I pressed my face against his shoulder, aware I'd already reached the point where I was ready to slam my pussy down onto his hard cock. He lifted my face and looked down at me, asking for permission to continue. "Honey…?" My mind screamed that I needed to stop this now, but I felt limp and needy. I wanted—I needed to be made love to. I needed to feel a cock inside my aching, empty pussy. And who better than Jake, the man who'd always been sweet and gentle and who had called me honey from day one to fill that need of mine? "Yes," I whispered and lifted my face for his kiss. He lifted me in his arms and carried me down the hall to his bedroom. Once there, he undressed me slowly, kissing each part of my exposed dark body. He lingered a long time over my breasts, sucking and licking me until I was wet and my entire body was shaking with lust. When he undressed, a fresh surge of dampness oozed from me as I stared at him. He had an absolutely beautiful body with broad shoulders, flat abs, narrows hips, and a surprisingly large cock with a thick, pink head. He slipped between my parted thighs, rubbed his dick against my pussy, against my clit, and then finally, slowly, he pushed the enormous head into my aching, hungry flesh. It had been so long and I was so horny that I moaned, shuddered, and came when he bottomed out in me. "Oh—Oh, God! Jake—Jake! Please! Oh, more—more!" The feel of his big dick moving inside me in slow, measured strokes was mind numbing. I lifted my head and looked down our bodies. The sight of his pale, thick cock sinking balls deep into my dark pussy was enough to send me to the brink of another orgasm. I fell back against the bed, pushing my hips up to meet his downward thrusts, loving the feel of his hot cock cleaving through my wet flesh. "Please! Jake, please. I'm almost there again! Please!" He suddenly cupped my bottom in his big hands, lifted my hips, and ground his down against mine. Then he thrust his hard length deep in me at the same time as his hot devouring mouth found that sensitive spot below my left ear. I moaned and shuddered and sobbed with delight and shattered into a million pieces as my body was flooded with delicious wave after wave of blistering pleasure. He stopped to soothe me before following me over the edge into pure paradise, pumping my unprotected pussy full of cum. Afterwards, he held me in his arms, kissing me gently, and cupping my breasts in his warm, caressing palms. I loved having my breasts held and my nipples tweaked. And I liked to be talked to

after sex. "Honey? Are you all right?" I felt safe, loved, and happy. I rubbed my body against his and smiled when he shuddered in response. "I'm…fine." He pressed a tender kiss against my forehead. "Did I….please you?" "Yes. Oh, yes, Jake. Yes!" He sighed and hugged me against him. I fell asleep feeling warm and content for the first time since Steve's death. He woke me in the night, wanting me again. "Honey?" he rasped out. I felt him hard and throbbing against my leg and a jolt of desire shot through me. I turned willingly into his arms and moaned when he slid into me with a slow steady movement that left me gasping with wanting him. "Oh honey, you're so sweet." He rained soft, heated kisses on my breasts. His callused hands were everywhere, stroking my breasts, my thighs, cupping and massaging my rump, rubbing my clit. My whole body burned everywhere he touched. I found myself wanting him as much as I'd wanted Steve. "Jake," I gasped. "Jake—oh, Jake!" "Honey, you feel so good. You smell so good. I need this. I need you." His whispered words of delight fueled my passion and hunger for him. I clung to him and we kept at each other until, exhausted and sexually sated, we fell asleep in a tangle of arms and legs, his slowly deflating cock still in my pussy. In the morning, I couldn't believe what I'd done. Steve was barely cold in his grave and there I was jumping in bed with his partner. His white partner. "Honey, about last night. I don't want you to think that I…I…" He ran a hand through his dark hair and gazed at me with a helpless look in his eyes. I stared at him, wondering why I'd never noticed how blue his eyes were or how handsome he was. I shrugged with a nonchalance I didn't feel. Having him call me honey reminded me of the night before, when he'd groaned the word in my ear as he'd repeatedly plunged into me. And I'd happily accepted and welcomed him in my arms and deep into my body. "Last night was something we both needed. It was…therapeutic. We don't need to apologize for it or analyze it to death. We needed it and it happened." He sighed, leaning against the counter. "Honey…" I put down my coffee cup and went over to him. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "It's all right, Jake." I drew back and looked at him, amazed I could look him in the eye. That last time we'd made love, I'd responded to him like an alley cat in heat, demanding that he fuck me. And he had, driving into me in a frenzy until my whole world centered around him. "Just promise me that you won't clean your gun like you were going to do last night."

He sighed. "There didn't seem to be much point to anything. Steve was dead and you'd tossed me out of your life." "And now?" He licked his lips. My stomach muscles tightened as I recalled how pleasant his lips had felt sucking my breasts. Why had I never noticed how full and sensual his bottom lip was? Come to that, how had I never noticed how sexy he was or what a big cock he was packing? "Honey—I don't know how to say this." I shrugged. "Just say it." "Last night was very special for me. I've been…wanting you for a very long time." I stared at him. "What? You've wanted…but…you were Steve's best friend! He trusted you with me!" He flushed. "And I never stepped out of line with you. Never! I never let you see how I felt, but Steve knew." "I don't believe you. If he'd known, he wouldn't have let you anywhere near me." He shook his head. "He did know, but he also knew I would never act on those feelings. Not only because we were best friends, but because I'd never do anything to hurt you." I thought of all the times he'd greeted me by locking me in a bear hug and felt betrayed. When I thought he was being friendly, he'd wanted to sleep with me. And now that Steve was dead he thought I was going to be his woman? Just for a moment, I wondered if he'd allowed Steve to be shot so he could have me, but quickly dismissed the thought. No matter how he felt about me, he'd loved Steve. "I can't handle this, Jake. Last night is not going to happen again. If you need sex, you'd better—" "I don't need sex. I wantyou. Ilove you." I backed away from him. "Well, I don't love you." I remembered that gun in his hand the night before and rushed on. "I do love you, Jake. You know I do. Just not likethat . But JR and I miss you and need you back in our lives. As my friend." He ran a hand through his hair. "Just a friend, honey?" I nodded. "We both needed last night, but I don't need or want you as a lover, Jake." He sighed and sagged back against the counter. "Fine. I'll be your…friend. Tasha." I nodded. "Come see JR soon." He came the following night. When JR rushed at him and burst into tears, I felt awful for having kept them apart for so long. Jake and I avoided looking at each other and only spoke to each other when necessary. But after three weeks, it became easier to be in the same room with Jake and behave as if we'd never spent a lustful night together. Until I started having erotic dreams about him. I'd want him in the middle of the day. And when he came to see JR, I began visualizing him naked, aroused, and wanting me. It got so bad I could barely look at him without feeling a rush of dampness between my legs.

He never again alluded to our night together. He’d stopped calling me honey. And I missed that. After six weeks, I wanted him so badly, I didn't care what people would say about my sleeping with Steve's ex-partner who also happened to be white. He'd said he loved me and I wasn't so sure anymore that I didn't love him like he loved me. I was certainly consumed with desire for him. But I also missed his tenderness, his thoughtfulness, his dependability. I just missedhim. One Friday night, I sent JR to spend the weekend with my parents. I chilled some wine and asked him to come over. The look in his eyes when I opened the door wearing nothing but a red teddy and matching heels, made me ache for him. "Oh, honey," he whispered and drew me into his arms. There in the doorway, we kissed with wild abandon, uncaring of what the neighbors would say. Within moments, he was aroused and I was ready for him. He lifted me in his arms and carried me upstairs. Holding me in his arms over my bed, he hesitated. I saw a look of concern in his eyes. "Here honey? Are you sure?" I didn't know how I was going to feel in the morning about sleeping with Jake in the same bed I'd shared with Steve. I didn't know what the future held for me and Jake. I knew my parents wouldn't be pleased. But I didn't care. I just wanted him. I'd loved Steve with all my heart and soul. But he'd been dead for nearly six months. I was alive. I had needs and wants and they all centered around Jake and Jake’s cock. I meant to spend the entire night with him buried to the hilt in my pussy, while I shuddered under him like a shameless hussy. "Yes," I whispered. He laid me gently on the bed and settled his big body between my trembling thighs. "Oh honey, I need to be inside your sweet, sweet pussy." "Funny you should mention that," I murmured, reaching down to part the lips of my cunt for him. "Because I've been dreaming about that big, pussy-pleasing dick of yours. I need it inside me. Now, Jake! Now. Shove it in! Shove it in!" Cupping my breasts in trembling hands, he kissed me and thrust into me with a maddening slowness that made my toes curl. I closed my eyes and shut the world out. Tonight there was just me and Jake in a world filled with luscious, illicit pleasure. Later, after the first rush of passion had been satisfied, we'd talk about love and how we'd spend the rest of our lives. JR needed a father figure in his life and I needed a lover and a husband in mine. I'm thinking Jake will be a perfect fit for both of us.

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