Bear it All

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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Bear it All Copyright  2011 by Deanna Wadsworth ISBN: 978-1-61333-011-1 Cover art by Fiona Jayde All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work, in whole or in part, in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher. Published by Decadent Publishing Company, LLC Look for us online at: www.decadentpublishing.com

Bear it All Deanna Wadsworth

A 1 Night Stand Story

~Dedication~

To Wendy—thanks for always being beside me when I jump up and down in public shouting,"Oh! Oh! I know! You should kill the priest!" and loving me even when I use the C-word. You are my favorite brainstorming partner and an irreplaceable friend. Huggles!

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Chapter One Damn, Madame Eve knew how to deliver. Unable to believe his luck, Travis Hunter half wondered if the woman had somehow snooped in his private spank-bank of fantasies to create the man just for him. John Godfrey—well, that was the name he’d given 1NightStand. Travis still couldn’t be sure if others had been as dumb as he was and actually given their real names to the service. Regardless, the name suited him. Simple and understated. Ironically, everything John was not. His date—he couldn’t bear to think of him as only a hook-up—arrived on the pool deck moments after Travis ordered his second mojito. The man’s unbound, sandy blond hair fell almost halfway down his back, just begging for Travis to run his fingers through it. Even as all the tanned beach studs frolicked with their bikini-clad girlfriends and kids splashed about, John still managed to turn heads. Then again, not every day did someone tower over the crowd with six-foot-five inches of ripped, hair-covered muscles. Travis swallowed back the drool when John gripped the back collar of his Tshirt with one hand and pulled it off before heading for the shallow end of the pool. “Hey, get a load of the Grizzly Adams,” a girl nearby whispered. “Ever heard of a back wax?” Travis shot the two girls a look as they fell into fits of hysterical giggles. He curled his lip in disgust, suppressing the urge to snarl at them. Bimbos. What the hell did they know about real men? Real men knew how to fix things. They drank beer and ate meat and potatoes—not salads and tofu. Big, masculine men could hold a guy up and fuck him against a wall so effortlessly he didn’t have to worry about being dropped.

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And most of all: Real men had hair. Lots and lots of delicious body hair. Well, except for Travis. As smooth and lean as the guys the giggling bimbos probably liked, perhaps his own lack of a pelt triggered his irrepressible fascination with hairy men. Of course, losing his virginity to a big ol’ bear probably hadn’t hurt. Sultry memories of his summer on the farm came back to him, stirring feelings of warmth and tenderness. No one had suspected Mr. Thompson was gay, but Travis had noticed the appreciative looks, felt the heat of his gaze. The nights they’d been together, he’d been so gentle, teaching Travis the ways of love. But he’d been separated from his wife and so deep in the closet the affair ended almost before it began. To this day, no one had ever made Travis feel as safe and cherished. And he’d been looking. My God, had he been looking. Who knew his deepest fantasy only waited a few emails away? While embarrassing to pay for sex, he’d planned this vacation as a way of celebrating the end to a stressful year studying for and completing the Ohio Bar Exam. And if one bought a gift for himself, he might as well guarantee he got exactly what he wanted, right? When he first ran across 1NightStand, he’d assumed it serviced hard-up fat guys who lived in their mom’s basements. But upon further investigation, he’d discovered it was the break he’d been looking for. 1NightStand claimed to be a matchmaking enterprise—Travis had checked into the legalities and read his contract carefully—and Madame Eve promised the fantasy. After a fee, she contacted the client and asked what he looked for. It had been like filling out the custom order form for a new car. But a whole lot more fun. Tall and hairy were a must. Sweet, handsome. Older than him by at least ten years. A smart man, if he could have one. But he’d be cool with pretty and dumb, too. He’d been anxious to find out what kind of guy his one-night stand might be since he’d signed up for this adventure. From what he could tell so far, his date looked perfect. Once she’d made the match, Madame Eve sent plane tickets and hotel reservation information for the Castillo Resort on historic Grand Turk in the 2

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Caribbean. On his first trip out of the country, not only was he eager to meet John but he couldn’t wait to explore the tropical, sun-soaked nirvana. Jagger Castillo, the sexy Cuban hotel manager, had given him lots of brochures about the Turks then personally showed him his room. The night of tropical, sweat-soaked fornication would be spent in John’s suite. Squelching a grin, and the subsequent swelling in his swim trunks, he could hardly contain his excitement. This will be the best vacation ever. Good thing he’d jerked one out before he came down to the pool, or he’d be sprouting an erection Paul Bunyan would have a hard time felling. He’d wanted to prevent ending the night in five seconds, but the longer he watched John by the pool the more he realized it might happen anyway. Especially when he imagined all that body hair tickling his flesh. The musk of his skin, the scent of his armpits, balls, the sweat on his neck—all of it filling his nostrils ’til he became drunk from it. Damn, his shorts tented further. Travis perked up when John surveyed the Tiki bar. To his surprise, his gaze flitted right over him. Maybe the sun was in his eyes and he didn’t notice the Ohio State T-shirt he wore to identify himself and prevent John from accidently hitting on some straight guy. According to Travis’s correspondence with Madame Eve, John wanted this to feel like a clandestine meeting at a bar, rather than a madeto-order fuck. An innocent enough ruse. As long as it ended up with John’s cock buried balls deep in Travis’s ass, what could be the harm in a little subterfuge? John stepped into the shallow water. The golden hour of evening approached, the sun rendering his tanned flesh bronze. Travis couldn’t wait to get his hands on him. Sipping his mojito, he swiveled in his seat, surreptitiously crossing his ankle over his knee. Looked like the preparation masturbation hadn’t really helped. “Hey!” a kid cried when he and his friends caught sight of Poseidon entering their domain. “Can you do a cannonball?” Travis hid a smile as the kids gave John a cheer, egging him on. Yes, his bear definitely had the look of the guy at the pool who did cannonballs for the kids. John’s handsome face cracked a good natured smile. “Sorry, kids. Not today.” The kids pouted and Travis hid a lecherous grin behind his glass. Don’t wear 3

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yourself out, honey. That’s my job. He glanced at the clock, hoping the guy noticed him soon. The mojito went down smooth in the waning heat and the steel drum band filled the air with the tinny sounds of Bob Marley. But he came here for a different kind of sun and fun. Who knew? He’d only paid for the one night, but if John agreed, possibly they could have a whole vacation of man-on-hairy-man action. Desire simmered in his nuts just thinking about it, but he told himself not to get his hopes up. John had one more look around the pool—missing Travis again—then took a perfectly formed, short dive beneath the water. Like a dolphin, seamless and no splash. Definitely a man of slow and studied motions. The sort who made love like a long, wet dream rather than a pile driver. In his pursuit of the perfect boyfriend, Travis had been fucked by his fair share of big guys, most of whom had been Doms. Not that he couldn’t take it, but he preferred a little romance. He might like a bear, but he wanted a teddy not a grizzly. John surfaced, shaking long, gorgeous curls out of his face and blinking back the water from his eyes. Travis loved it when guys did that. Water sluiced over his open lips, catching in his goatee as he took his first breath and Travis tried not to groan as he pictured the scene in slow-mo, complete with swanky porn music. He slurped the icy remnants of his mojito, his mouth suddenly dry. “Another?” Travis offered the bartender a smile and shook his head. He didn’t want to be too drunk to appreciate the fine hunk of flesh he’d paid good money for. “I’m fine, thanks. I’ll be leaving shortly anyway.” He winked. “You let me know if you need anything else.” Attractive, but too thin and far too much smooth skin for his taste. John exited the pool and Travis’s hungry gaze zeroed in on the water running in rivulets through the luscious pelt covering his body, slicking beneath his swim trunks. God, he couldn’t wait to lick him from head to toe, ass to balls. “You sure you don’t wanna do a cannonball?” the kids asked in chorus. John gave them a kind smile, not irritated by the little twerps at all. “Maybe another time.” 4

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Swallowing hard, Travis watched him vigorously dry off his arms and legs, ruffling up his fur. He tipped his head to the side to wring the water out of his long hair. Those eyes—light green, maybe?—roamed over the pool area once more, a disappointed expression crossing his face. Travis had to restrain himself from jumping off the barstool and yelling, I’m over here! Not exactly the kind of discretion required at Castillo Resorts. It might be a rendezvous place for 1NightStand, but it was just a normal tropical resort. When John headed to the bar, Travis had a hard time looking away from the mountain of muscle closing in on him. His hair curled at the temples, complimenting the rounded, but masculine features of his face. His trimmed goatee, peppered by light blond, hinted at being gray near his full lips. The fine lines around his eyes—hazel, Travis finally discovered—spoke of laughter and kindness. Grinning, he opened his mouth to say hello, but John walked right past him. Travis frowned when his date tapped his knuckles lightly on the counter. He should’ve opted for the red OSU shirt. Maybe John didn’t see the Buckeye logo on the front. The cute bartender nodded in John’s direction, a flirtatious smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “What can I get for you, big guy?” “I’ll have a Bud.” Of course you will. The slightly soft curve of his stomach spoke of a man who never wasted time on a light beer. Deciding to get the party started, Travis scooted one stool closer, until he sat right beside his date. The giant shifted and glanced over. Offering a slight tip of his bottle in greeting, John cleared his throat awkwardly and turned away. Oh! So he’s shy. Well, there was a damn good reason more than one of his lovers had called Travis an aggressive bottom. Nothing stopped him from going after what he wanted. Tonight, he was hunting bear. Damn, he loved a good game. He had a difficult time hiding his coy smirk. “You think there might be an Ohio State game on?” 5

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The bottle of beer halted just shy of John’s lips. He looked at Travis, as if seeing him for the first time. Travis faced him fully, gifting him with a clear view of his T-shirt and the presence of his interest in the front of his shorts. Then he gave the best comehither smile he could muster. “Hi. I’m Travis.” A flash of darkness crossed John’s face. “You gotta be fucking kidding me.” The growled words sucker punched Travis and for a second he couldn’t breathe. He knew he wasn’t the best looking guy on the planet, but he’d never had any complaints. Especially from bears like John. “Excuse me?” Travis managed, once air snuck back into his lungs. John’s mouth tightened into a thin line, the longer whiskers below his lip poking out with the motion. He exhaled what sounded like a tired sigh. “Looks like we both got screwed.” “I thought that was the whole idea,” Travis replied, seriously confused. John didn’t appear to have heard him as he muttered, “I don’t know what that woman was thinking. I knew this was too good to be true.” Fire burned up Travis’s neck to scorch his face with humiliation. Could he be that disgusting to this hair-dusted, Herculean god? “W-what?” His throat tightened, imaginary fingers strangling him. Downing his beer in one long pull, John stood. Despite the situation, it left Travis imagining the same open throat taking his cock. But when John slammed the bottle down, the sharp sound jolted him back to reality. He rested a large, warm hand on Travis’s shoulder. The contact sent a hard, electric bolt of arousal down his back where it settled at the base of his spine. He couldn’t breathe again as all the blood in his head made plans to head south to his cock. John shook his head. “Sorry, kid. There’s just no way.”

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Chapter Two John wanted to kill that woman. No wonder Madame Eve did everything via email and never met clients in person. She didn’t want to run the risk of disgruntled customers identifying her. If she pulled this sort of crap often, 1NightStand could not have a list of happy customers. Slamming the door to his hotel room, he cursed the stupid idea once more. He had known about 1NightStand for some time, but only persistent badgering from his friend, Garret, made him believe the service might be what he needed. He’d read the contract very carefully but he should’ve known nothing came without a catch. What had he been thinking? He should’ve listened to his instincts at Detroit Metro and not gotten on the plane. But he’d ignored them, dismissing it as fear. He’d taken a deep breath and boarded. After all, John Godfrey did not shy away from a challenge. Hell, he came out in college when the irrational fear of AIDS meant “fags” got kicked off the football team. But he showed them when he graduated valedictorian and went on to become the university’s youngest law professor to receive tenure. He feared nothing. Well, that’s who he used to be. After Kurt died three years ago, he’d been none of those things. He’d been an empty shell. Work, eat, sleep. Not the person his partner had fallen in love with, and not the kind of man he would be happy John had become. He tossed his wet beach towel on the floor and grabbed his laptop. The cleaning staff had set up the spacious terrace per his requests. Fading sunlight bathed a romantic table with pinks and gold. Dinner for two. Soft jazz music played and fresh flowers perfumed the air. Candles lined every surface. It looked so damn romantic, Cupid himself would barf. At least some people did as they were paid to do. He’d have to leave them a nice tip. Irritated as all hell and still in soggy swim trunks, he sat at the table. Careful 7

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not to break anything, he picked up one place setting and moved it aside to make room for his laptop. While he waited what seemed like forever for the computer to load, he thought about what he would say to Madame Eve. Until his gaze swept the patio again. He chuckled bitterly. What a waste. What exactly had he hoped to find in the Caribbean that he couldn’t find back home in Michigan? For so long he had been terrified to venture down the dating road and risk getting attached or falling in love. He’d convinced himself he couldn’t live through the grief of losing someone he loved again. At forty-two, he still had a lot of life to live, and Kurt wouldn’t want him to waste it. So John had come to Turks and Caicos to do something drastic—out of his comfort zone—to kick start his life. Too bad the attempt failed miserably. Finally, the browser opened. Righteous indignation flared inside him and with great determination he pecked the words, his key strokes hard and deliberate. Madame Evangeline, I don’t know what kind of operation you are running. I just met my date. What were you thinking? I requested a bottom, aged thirty-five to fifty, fit and tall. You got the dark hair right, but perhaps you’re unaware of a something called logistics. I am six-foot-five and two hundred eighty pounds. While Travis seems like a nice young man—young being the operative word—he couldn’t be a day over twenty or a hundred forty pounds soaking wet. If your business didn’t operate in the gray area of the law, I might be tempted to report you to the BBB. I know you have this aversion for anyone who dares bring up money, perhaps because you are running a scam. When I check my account in the a.m., I expect a full refund. John Godfrey, Esq. He hit “send” and gave the computer a “take-that” snort. Water trickled down his back, itching as it dripped from his hair and drawing him out of his victorious moment. After sending the email, he’d expected to feel 8

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better, but he didn’t. His arms tickled as they dried and he brushed them vigorously, irritation souring his mood further. Dammit, why did it have to turn out like this? He had booked this suite for a whole week. The resort and the island were fantastic, sure, but what if he ran into Travis again? It would be extremely awkward because doubtless he’d have company. With those sweet, red lips, a kid as adorable as Travis wouldn’t have a hard time finding someone to warm his bed at night. John would not have the same luck. He was decent looking—if one had a thing for the big lumberjack types—but a spontaneous vacation romance was unlikely to be in his future. Sullen, he let his gaze take in the night, the island beauty mocking him. The warm tropical air, the rush of the ocean below his penthouse suite, and the tops of the palm trees dancing almost at eye level—all of it celebrating despite his melancholy. With a resigned sigh, he closed his computer, plunging himself into candlelight. His weary gaze fell to the blue napkins, folded into some sort of origami flowers and the same haunting cobalt as his young date’s heavily fringed eyes. Beautiful eyes a man could drown in. Desire pulsed under his skin when he remembered his smile. The lean, tender body. The flush in his cheeks from too much sun. The kind of guy John could never have. He’d learned long ago, those adorable twinks were look-don’t-touch. Far too large for them, he couldn’t bear to cause another human being pain. Hell, when his cousins invited him to go bird hunting, the mere idea sickened him. He would never risk hurting some poor kid just to get his jollies. To have some hack-job service throw it in his face felt like the worst kind of torture.

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Chapter Three Travis watched in shock as his dream date walked away. What the hell happened? Was he that much of a disappointment? “You okay?” Travis looked up, realizing he’d been open-mouthed, staring into the space John had so abruptly vacated. His face boiled with embarrassment, but he managed to spit out, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Before the bartender said another word, Travis slid off his stool and headed for the main building. His shock had given way to anger with the force of a tsunami. He’d never been turned down by someone like John. They were usually excited some twink wanted a bear like them. So what the hell was this guy’s problem? Travis had no idea, but he did know he’d paid fair and square. Though, honestly, the wound to his pride hurt more than the one to his bank account. Staff wearing tropical shirts and khaki shorts went about their business in the lobby, greeting guests, checking people in, and pushing luggage carts. He caught Jagger Castillo’s eye immediately. Talking with the concierge and two guests, Jagger raised a curious brow, maybe wondering why Travis wasn’t with his date. Yeah. You and me both. Prickling with shame and irritation, he waited, sort of patiently, while the concierge and Jagger talked and laughed with a pair of disgustingly happy newlyweds asking a million questions about a hundred different tourist traps they would never visit. Travis bit his tongue to keep from yelling at them to go the hell to their room and screw each other’s brains out like good honeymooners should. When the couple finally left, Travis advanced. “What the hell kinda scam are you running here?” “Please, Mr. Hunter, lower your voice.” Jagger raised an appeasing hand as he delivered a curt nod of dismissal to the concierge, who promptly left. Travis attempted to speak quietly around the sudden lump in his throat. “I’m

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sorry, but seriously, Jagger, what the hell?” The tall Cuban shook his head in confusion. “I don’t understand, Mr. Hunter. I thought you had plans for the evening.” He let out a derisive snort to hide his embarrassment. “Yeah. So did I.” “Please, let’s sort this out in my office.” Feeling helpless, Travis followed Jagger to an office, well-appointed with cherry furniture, tropical plants, and a three foot tall Wyland sculpture of frolicking sea turtles. Wide windows draped with gauzy curtains allowed the warm, salty air inside. The calm atmosphere did nothing to slow Travis’s racing heart. Jagger shut the door and came around to face him, his brow wrinkled with concern. “Now, Mr. Hunter, please tell me what happened? I spoke to Mr. Godfrey myself and he was looking forward to meeting you.” Travis sniffed in disgust then quickly explained how John had reacted. “I see.” Jagger tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Well, what are you gonna do about it?” Total humiliation almost brought him to angry tears. “I’m not sure. This is highly irregular. The couples from 1NightStand are usually more than satisfied with their matches. Madame Eve never makes mistakes.” Travis waved him off as he made a sudden decision. “I want his room number.” “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Travis laughed hysterically. “What am I gonna do? Did you see the size of him?” “It’s not Mr. Godfrey I’m worried about.” Furiously, Travis brushed at his face, still feeling the inexplicable desire to cry. But no, he wouldn’t give that big jerk the satisfaction. “Let me call Madame Eve,” Jagger announced. “We will see what she suggests. And again, Mr. Hunter, I am truly surprised. This has never happened before.” Great, I’m the first to be rejected. Of course! Why would I ever deserve to get exactly what I wanted? 11

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Jagger dialed the phone and waited for a connection. It didn’t take long. “Good evening, Madame Eve. It’s Jagger, from Grand Turk.” “Tell her I want my money back.” Lightning fast, the Latino covered the receiver, looking highly offended. “I will do no such thing.” Travis rolled his eyes as Jagger recounted his rejection. It sounded even worse the second time around. Then the manager quieted, listening to Madame Eve on the other end. He looked up at Travis. “He wants Mr. Godfrey’s room number. What? I should? You do? Um…if you’re sure…um…yes, I understand. Thank you. Good night.” “Well?” Travis demanded when the nervous man set down the phone. “He’s in Suite 23 on the top floor.” “Thanks.” Travis turned to leave. “What are you going to do, Mr. Hunter?” Travis didn’t answer. Storming from the office, he headed directly to the elevators. He pushed the button for the top floor, trying not to be annoyed as the jazz version of Jimmy Buffet’s Come Monday surrounded him when the doors closed. Jagger posed a good question. What the hell did he plan to do? He’d done his time as a sub and found it horribly humiliating, so begging was out of the question. However, he did have one question he wanted answered. Why?

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Chapter Four John thought about breaking into the free booze in his room but a knock on the door stopped him. Still wearing damp swim trunks, he went to answer it. Without checking the peephole, he threw open the door. Travis. John couldn’t speak. Damn, if the kid wasn’t even better looking than he recalled. Cropped dark hair, disheveled on top from the island breeze. Black lashes fringed his lightning blue eyes, causing them to pop on his fair skin. His nose, ears and the top of his forehead had been slightly sunburned, making him look even younger—and more adorable. A faint hint of sunblock and sweat lingered about him, heating John’s stomach instantly. His presence filled John with a twinge of hopeful possibility. “Are you going to invite me in, or shall we discuss this in the hallway?” Travis had a strong, confident voice. A litigator’s voice. His handsome, youthful face pursed in a scowl, brought John out of his musings. He stepped aside and Travis brushed passed him into the suite. Not as short as John had originally believed, he only sat short because for a guy his size, he had long legs, bringing the top of his head below John’s collarbone. One thing he hadn’t been wrong about, however, the man—no, boy, he couldn’t forget that— was half his size. Every inch of the kid’s slender frame appeared taut with agitation. John supposed he wanted to vent about 1NightStand, figure out how they could get their money back. He fought down a pang of disappointment, because for a flash, he’d hoped Travis came because of him. Yeah, not likely. No way would Travis ever be interested in some old guy who’s gone soft in the middle. “Look, I’m not here to beg, so don’t worry,” Travis began, whirling to glower up at him. “I just wanna know why?” John shrugged, nervously raking his fingers through his hair to work out any

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tangles. “Obviously the service pairs men whose vacations line up.” The guy positively vibrated irritation. “What?” He reached out to calm him and Travis flinched. Bunching his large hands at his side, John wished he wasn’t so damn big and imposing. He needed to calm the kid, not scare him. “Look, I feel really bad, but there are a lot of schemers out there. It’s a life lesson I guess you had to learn the hard way. But hey, cut yourself some slack. I’m forty-two, and I fell into Madame Eve’s scam, too.” “What scam? What are you talking about?” John quirked a brow. How many of those fruity drinks had the boy been drinking before John showed up? “I mean 1NightStand. How they tricked us.” He shook his head in confusion. “In what way?’ John gestured down at his furry chest then to Travis’s lean, muscular form, trying to be lighthearted. “Have you looked in the mirror, boy?” “I’m not a boy.” He threw out a defiant chin which looked ten kinds of adorable. No, he wouldn’t go there. To reinforce how wrong wanting Travis was, he asked, “How old are you?” “Twenty-five.” “Jesus.” John sighed and ran frustrated fingers over his scalp, letting the damp strands slap his back. “I’m almost old enough to be your father.” “What’s that got to do with anything?” John decided to go for blunt. It always worked for him in the courtroom. “You’re too young and too small. I’d break your heart and break you in half.” The guy actually cracked a smile that went straight to John’s gut. “I can take care of myself.” He sighed wearily. Was the kid that hard-up? Didn’t he own a mirror? John would kill to have a guy like him. But like he told Madame Eve, the sum of the two parts didn’t add up. “Look, Travis, I’m sorry, but I specifically asked for a guy close to my age and build, with dark hair.” The moment the words left his mouth, the image of Kurt danced through his mind. His stomach dropped. John had asked for someone exactly like his dead partner. He hastily pushed the thought away, afraid of what it might mean. “I’m sure 14

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you won’t have any trouble finding someone else. Neither of us got what we wanted, but you shouldn’t let it ruin your vacation.” A strange expression crossed Travis’s face. “Oh, I see.” Before John could decipher the look, Travis turned to go. He fought the impulse to stop him. It was for the best. So why did watching him leave make John feel so empty inside? Travis paused, his hand on the doorknob. He turned those piercing blue eyes on John and a visceral reaction shot through his body like an electric shock. He had to swallow a few times merely to breathe. “I’m sorry this didn’t work out for you,” Travis said softly. “But for the record, I got exactly what I asked for.”

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Chapter Five A large hand reached out and rested on his shoulder. Travis could smell the chlorinated pool water but underneath, the heady aroma of man. A man who didn’t want him. “Excuse me?” that deep-timbred voice said. “What did you say?” Trying to disguise the tremor, Travis repeated himself. “I said I got exactly what I asked for.” That large hand—the one he’d pictured roaming all over his body with deep appreciation—turned him around. The sheer mass of half-naked muscle before him turned his knees to jelly. Though John had rejected him, all of a sudden Travis couldn’t help but rethink his ban on begging. “Why?” John stared at him with the incredulous look of someone who had no idea how beautiful he was. “Why would someone like you want someone like me?” Travis let out a chuckle. John asked the question he’d never really been able to answer. How can you have the hots for hairy old men? He’d tired himself out trying to get his friends to understand the security and warmth older men represented. How awesome it felt to be dwarfed by a lover. They didn’t get it and never would because Travis never planned to tell them the real reason. That deep in his heart, he wanted a protector. Someone he could wholeheartedly trust to take care of him. Spending most of his life bouncing from one foster home to the next, good grades and hard work had pulled him out of the life of poverty he’d been destined for. With the bar exam completed, he’d finally made something of his life. Sure, being small and gay, people naturally treated him like a pussy, forcing him to fight constantly to prove otherwise in new situations. So how could he admit he desperately wanted someone to take care of him for a change? What kind of lawyer would that make him? Who wanted to admit to being so needy and pathetic?

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Staring up into John’s inviting, hazel eyes, feeling the warm, reassuring touch of the massive hand still on his shoulder, Travis knew he had to try a little bit harder to make him understand. Not because he wanted to prove himself, but because he’d observed something sad and insecure in John’s expression he wanted to erase. The same self-doubt he saw when he looked at his own reflection. While making no sense at all, it stabbed Travis deep in his soul. He didn’t dare meet John’s gaze when he answered, though. “It’s hard to explain, but I’ve always been attracted to older men. Real men. Hairy men,” he added with a shy chuckle. “Someone big enough to take charge so I can just enjoy the ride. It makes me feel safe…loved.” Heat surged up his neck. He’d sounded even more pathetic than he’d meant to. He risked a glance up at John. Through half-lowered eyelashes, he watched John’s mouth gape in surprise. Squirming with embarrassment, Travis made to leave. The hand on his shoulder tightened. “Stay,” John whispered. “Please?” Travis looked up in question, unsure he heard him correctly. The entire world stopped when John’s lips connected with his. Lightning raced down his back and he moaned into the unexpected contact. Prodding open Travis’s lips with his own, John kissed him with a gentleness such a powerful man should not possess. His goatee scratched and teased Travis’s cheeks and chin even as the wet slick of his tongue slid over his lower lip. Before he could steady himself on those huge arms, John pulled him closer, his body still damp from the swimming pool. When his giant frame thoroughly encased his smaller one, the tentative kiss changed. John plunged his tongue in possessively, smashing their mouths together, too. Travis went weak in the knees in an instant. Good Lord, did he know how to kiss! John’s thumb opened Travis’s mouth further, exploring every inch of wet, leaving nothing untouched. Frissons of desire swept out from his core to tease the extremities of his body. He slipped his tongue out to meet John’s and the big man sucked it all the way into his mouth with such force, Travis couldn’t wait to know what that mouth could do to his cock. Maybe the hint of beer still on John’s tongue or the two mojitos were 17

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responsible for Travis’s sudden sense of drunkenness. He thought he might pass out yet John supported him completely, effortlessly, arms coiled tight about his shoulders and waist as if he were unspeakably precious. He would not let him fall. A strong hand gripped his ass and drew him higher until their groins touched, causing more fire to burn in his veins. When John’s other hand roamed up Travis’s back his thumb caught the hem of his shirt, calloused fingertips grazing his bare flesh. John nibbled the place on his neck where his pulse throbbed, then sucked on his earlobe, sending a shock straight to his balls. Travis didn’t consider that only moments ago John had rejected him. He only cared that this gentle giant had finally kissed him. His cock ached, separated from John only by swim trunks. Long, sandy locks brushed over his cheeks and he resisted the urge to grab a handful and draw his mouth closer. Wrapping his arms around John’s neck, he coiled his hands in his hair, inhaling the aroma of chlorine and man. He drew John’s lower lip between his teeth and bit gently. Growling, John clutched his bottom harder and ground their pelvises together. His skin burst to life with feeling, every synapse responding wildly from the fiery hardness of John’s manhood mercilessly dry humping him. He whimpered, desperate for him to stop yet needing him to continue. Just when he thought the delicious friction would make him come, John released him and set him on his feet. “Damn,” Travis breathed, still clinging to those broad, hairy shoulders. His skin throbbed everywhere and his head spun. Pre-cum had soaked his bathing suit front and he didn’t know how he managed not to rub his dick against John again. Chuckling, John kissed his neck, down his throat and back up again, his wet lips tickling slightly. “You like that, eh?” “Mmm-hmm.” Travis slid his fingers boldly over John’s biceps, exploring the masculine contours of his torso. Needing more, he brushed his cheek across John’s expansive chest, relishing the sensation of hair teasing his skin, memorizing the scent of his soon to be lover’s body. Travis added his mouth to the exploration, kissing ever so lightly. John’s 18

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breathing became rough, his chest rising and falling. The prickle of chest hairs on Travis’s lips as he slowly ran his mouth back and forth with the barest touch stimulated a million tiny pinpoints of nerve endings attached right to his dick. Closing his lips, he pulled on a few hairs, drawing a hiss from John. Travis released him and moved toward a hard brown nipple. But he didn’t kiss it, rather, he paused, hoping his hot breaths drove John crazy with anticipation before he licked a wet line into the hair. The big bear shuddered. “Travis?” Instead of answering, he smiled to himself and flicked his tongue over the nipple, marveling at how hard it got. John convulsed when he bore down on him with his teeth ever so gently, sucking and licking to soothe the sting of his bite. John tasted salty, but with the faint hint of pool water. Stroking the hairy pecs, Travis thumbed John’s nipples then buried his face and inhaled, the unique musk of his skin having a dizzying effect. He darted a quick glance up and smiled at John, but his eyes were squeezed tight and his head had lolled to the side. Grinning, Travis licked him once more, savoring him, relishing the scratch of hairs on his tongue. So lost in worshiping John’s body, the tender hand cupping his cheeks, drawing his attention up surprised Travis. John cradled his face and kissed both of his cheeks, the act intimate and tender. Disbelief battled with arousal in the hazel depths of his eyes. “Do you really want this?” Travis allowed him to see the raw need, the hunger and desperation he never exposed to others. He’d been with large, imposing men like this, been forced to submit to them. Because of his own insecurities, he’d foolishly tried, time after time, to make them fit into some giant jigsaw puzzle, knowing full-well the picture wouldn’t turn out right. That he would be left wanting and hurt. Used and abandoned. Yet something in John’s expression told him this time would be different. Though they’d just met, he knew John would never hurt him. With the excitement of finding a missing puzzle piece, Travis smiled. “More than anything.” “But….” A tantalizing blush traveled across John’s cheeks and down his chest. 19

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“But…I’m really big.” He let out a breathless chuckle. “That’s what I like about you.” “No, I mean….” He nodded downward, fidgeting restlessly. Reaching between their bodies, Travis boldly ran his hand across the long, hard rod. The size and heat of it made him shudder and he abandoned his resolution not to beg. “I knew what you meant. Please, I need this.”

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Chapter Six John didn’t dare believe it. Thoughts worked in the back of his head, telling him if he continued on this path he might hurt the kid. But the wanton, sapphire gaze boring into his went straight to his groin. A surge of possessiveness washed over him when he realized this young, beautiful man did want him. All logic flew out the patio doors. Overcome with a desperate need to feel Travis’s hot, naked flesh pressed to his own, John reached down and yanked the shirt over the younger man’s head, tossing the offensive Ohio State garment away. Travis gave him a lustful half smile and placed his arms out to the side, offering his body or perhaps just displaying himself. Somehow, the delirious way he licked then sucked on his lower lip as he watched John, coupled with his submissive posture, told him Travis liked giving up control, that he trusted John. Wanted him. His dick strained against his swim trunks, and though he longed to bury it deep in the young body he held in his arms, he would have to hold himself in check. Kneeling, he slid the smaller man’s swim shorts down. Travis helped him by kicking off his sandals. Once he had him completely naked, John’s breath caught in his chest. Travis was positively beautiful. Lean, but by no means gangly, his long, white legs with their faint dusting of dark hair were muscular. Runner’s legs. John glided his hands up the backs of his calves, looking up ever so slowly so Travis’s body might be unveiled to him like a curtain revealing a stage. His gaze followed those sculpted thighs and narrow hips to hard, ready cock. For an average height guy, he found nothing average about Travis’s seven-inch, cut prick. The rounded cap, dripping with pre-cum, tempted his tongue. The shaft was unusually smooth and so evenly colored almost no veins were visible. Nestled in neatly trimmed black pubes, it was quite possibly the prettiest dick he had ever seen. His mouth watered to feel its heat and he bit back a whimper. The faint line of definition straight up Travis’s flat stomach lured John’s hands

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to wander. He stroked up his hairless chest, tweaking pink nipples before running his hands down lean, muscular arms. He played until the beautiful cock bobbing in front of him captured his attention once more. Cradling the shaved balls in his hand, John tugged at the same time he swiped his tongue over the swollen head, lapping up the fluid. When the bittersweet flavor hit his tongue, a desperate noise escaped from deep in his throat and his own cock hardened painfully. Fingers wound through his long, wet hair, and squeezed tight while John began licking the length of the hot, silken shaft in his hands. Pausing at the ridge, he rubbed his tongue repeatedly over the sensitive spot just below the piss slit. “Oh, shit,” Travis gasped. That hungry sound fueled him on, and with a groan he swallowed Travis all the way down, wanting the whole thing inside him. Wildly, in the back of his mind, he imagined having that pretty cock up his ass, something he had not done in decades. Kurt preferred the bottom and—No! John would not think of his dead partner, not while another man’s cock filled his mouth. He tamped down the ghosts of his past and memories of a life lost by sucking harder. Travis deserved his full attention. John had come on this trip to learn how to accept someone new into his bed, his life. To learn to live again. Stroking the back of Travis’s thighs and firm bottom, John devoted himself to his lover’s pleasure, nursing the pre-cum from his tip and loving the taste. Having never been a leaker himself, it turned him on like crazy to realize all that fluid dripped just for him. Pumping the spit soaked shaft with his fist, he wrapped his lips over his teeth and focused his attentions on the head, eliciting sexy little humming sounds from Travis. It didn’t take long for the kid’s hips to start bucking steadily, the grip on John’s hair to tighten. Recognizing the signs of a man dangerously close to coming, he released him, enjoying the wet sound of his mouth breaking suction. Smiling, John stood to his full height. Travis immediately closed the small gap between their bodies, hips swaying in invitation, every pore of his slim body oozing sex appeal. The wet tip of his cock kissed John’s thigh and he held his breath as Travis placed the flat of his hands on his chest like he’d done before, the touch confident yet gentle. He slid his fingers through the hair causing little 22

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shivers to fan out along John’s abdomen, settling deep in his groin. Though John’s midsection had rounded with age, Travis seemed to take great delight in touching his body, playing with and gently ruffling up the fur, caressing him with near reverence. No one had ever admired him like this before. With a sly grin, Travis’s hands slid lower. John’s stomach trembled when he toyed with his lowest abs, loosening the drawstrings of his trunks. “We should get rid of these, don’t ya think?” His hand slipped below the waistband and any witty reply vanished with a gasp as Travis firmly gripped his cock. Wearing a deviant smile, Travis never released John’s prick as he obliged the request and shimmied out of his damp garment, the motion jerking him slightly. John groaned aloud when the hand tugged more deliberately on his erection. “I want you to fuck me with this.” Travis’s lips were as dark with desire as the head of that adorable dick of his. John whimpered from the almost painful squeeze and drag of the hand on his cock. God, he wanted to bend this guy’s tight little hiney over and fuck him hard. Though he knew actual penetration had to remain off limits—he couldn’t risk hurting him—something in his confident touch told John that if he didn’t take charge, Travis would. He could not recall ever being afraid of a lover taking total control. Then again, he’d never really been so lost in the touch of another. Hell, only a little while ago he’d rejected Travis, yet now he could almost envision himself collapsing on the bed, legs in the air, as he begged the smaller man to fuck him. Not even Kurt had affected him so fast, made him so wanton. Fearing the ghost of his partner might enter his mind once again, John removed the hand on his dick. Resuming control, he took hold of Travis by his cute butt and hoisted him up. Automatically, Travis coiled his arms around John’s neck and wrapped his lean legs around his waist. He weighed almost nothing and felt so good in his arms, so warm and smooth. Ankles hooked tight below John’s ass, Travis pressed closer, and the warmth of his pre-cum slicked down John’s stomach. The sensation wrenched a groan from his lips. He had meant to take the lead by picking him up, yet Travis claimed his mouth 23

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the moment their faces reached the same height. The wet kiss, slow and deep, roused John’s hunger like nothing else before. It had been far too long since he’d been here. Wanting a man like this. Needing him so badly. No, John had never been here before. In two steps, he had Travis flat against the wall, smashing their naked bodies together. Travis grunted from the pressure. The tip of John’s cock nudged the underside of his sack, but before he could explore the delicious sensation, Travis plunged his slick, wet tongue into his mouth. Clutching at John’s face, teeth banging with sudden passion, Travis sucked on John’s tongue, his lips, anything it seemed he could reach. Groaning, John secured his grip as the younger man did nothing to support his own weight. Like a child being held by a trusted adult. As if, somehow, Travis knew he would not drop him, trusting him to take care of everything. Travis trusted him so completely he could do anything he wanted to him. Such power and responsibility made his head swim. When Travis shifted, arching closer, he tightened his hold. He would never let Travis fall. The intensity of that conviction left him wondering if he meant for this moment or for much longer. However, when Travis began to rock and hump against his stomach, all thoughts were banished. Helpless with the way Travis made love to his mouth and rolled his groin into him, he gave into it, letting the other man set their pace. Sucking his lower lip slow and hard, Travis pulled back and grinned. “Disappointed yet?” John couldn’t help but smile back. “No. Are you?” He ground his dick into John’s belly again, leaving more stringy bits of fluid in the hair. “Very.” John stepped back and Travis shifted with him. Holding his ripe little ass securely, John moved them to the bed and sat on the edge. Travis straddled his lap, rising to his knees to cup John’s cheeks. Once more Travis took charge, driving his tongue forcefully down John’s throat. Reaching between their bodies, John gripped their pricks as their tongues 24

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battled for dominance. His hand encased both shafts easily, the sensation of hot cock on hard, hot cock exquisite. The continuous pre-cum Travis oozed lubricated his movements as he began to rub them together. God, he loved a man who leaked like this. He jacked them both in a seductive, wet rhythm, trying to slow the maddening passion so it didn’t all end too quickly. Whimpering and arching his lithe body closer, Travis fucked John’s mouth with his tongue, rocking and gyrating against him like sex incarnate. His hands flew over him, touching everywhere. Pressure mounted in John’s balls and desire frosted down his back. He would come any second. Sucking in a ragged breath, John broke the kiss and released their cocks so he could apply pressure at the base of his own to stop the sudden, approaching orgasm. Heart pounding, he edged himself back down. Damn, he hadn’t had to do that in ages. “Hmm, somebody’s excited,” Travis teased, looking down their bodies. “Shush.” John thumped his larger cock playfully against Travis’s, the switch in sensations calming him further, giving him a chance to catch a much needed breath. However, it didn’t appear Travis wanted to slow down. Barely giving him a chance to inhale twice, he forcibly pushed John onto his back, knocking a breathless laugh out of him. Like a stalking panther, Travis knelt over him, splaying his hands over John’s stomach. He ran them up his chest languidly to pinch both nipples hard. John cried out in surprise, but his insatiable lover had already moved his hands lower, lost to his own hunger. “God, you’re so sexy,” Travis murmured as he slithered down his body to wrap his lips around John’s cock, sucking with gusto while his hands held the base firm. The hot, wet sensations enveloping him made John crave Travis’s pretty dick in his own mouth again. “C’mere.” As if he weighed nothing, John took hold of his legs and twisted him around so his crotch was next to his face in a side by side sixty-nine. Travis laughed. “Now you’re talking.” John’s throat had constricted too much to even chuckle at the kid’s enthusiasm for sex. When that beautiful, smooth prick came within reach, he hunched over 25

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and took it into his mouth. The silken heat of it on his tongue, the tang of precum, and the heady aroma of Travis’s groin hardened John’s own erection like he was eighteen again. Just like the ravenous way he kissed, Travis didn’t start a blow job in a leisurely style. He cranked his jaw and took John’s dick completely down his tight little throat. Hips jerking in his surprise, John’s mouth came off Travis with a hiss. Moaning, Travis, drew his mouth up then swallowed him to the root again, his exhales blowing hot on John’s pubes. John had to force himself to relax, not to thrust too hard. And most importantly, not to come yet. But every time the kid touched him, he dragged him so close to the edge he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. Focusing on the cock before him became difficult as Travis’s expert tongue worked him over, swirling across his dick each time he took him in. Wanting to last long enough to pleasure his young lover, John took a shaky, cleansing breath before trailing his tongue and lips up and down the smooth shaft. Travis trembled beside him, hands caressing the slight roundness of John’s belly. He should’ve been self-conscious of those extra few pounds, but the way Travis ran his hands hungrily over his abdomen made him feel like the sexiest man alive. How such a simple act could make him feel that way amazed him. As if he’d been asleep all his life and Travis had finally awakened him. The hot suction on his cock, hands stroking the back of his thighs, his ass, and the smooth, warm skin writhing against John fed his hunger. When that wet, silken tongue ran hard up the underside of his shaft as Travis sucked him to the tip, it almost became his undoing. Flutters of excitement danced in his belly and he nipped a bit at the cock in his hands, devoting himself to the nubile young body he held. He kissed the slim, muscular hip by his face, delighting in the tiny freckles he found there. Needing to get closer, John hoisted Travis’s leg up and over his side, to tongue bathe his shaved nut sack. Travis giggled and squirmed away. “Ticklish?” John brushed his hair out of his eyes so he could look down his lover’s body to his face. His large cock rested just below Travis’s cheek, and the contrast of his own darker skin against Travis’s milky white complexion 26

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intoxicated him. “A little,” Travis admitted, wearing an impish grin, his lips wet and swollen from cock sucking. John ran his fingers lightly across the crack of Travis’s ass and over his balls. Travis wiggled, silent laughter bubbling out of him. Grinning, he tickled the juncture of his inner thigh, delighting in Travis’s reaction. Kurt had always considered sex serious, not a time for silliness. Something about watching the way Travis’s whole being became involved, the innocent way he giggled, brought out John’s forgotten playful side. Holding Travis’s legs tight so he couldn’t accidently kick him, John delivered a series of tiny licks all over his tight sack, teasing him mercilessly. “Stop! That tickles!” However, he didn’t try to escape, rather, he writhed more than necessary so that his cock rubbed against John’s face. It was harder and darker than before. No doubt ready to burst with very little attention. Wanting to see if he could elicit a bigger reaction, John sucked on a finger, wetting it with saliva. Then he dipped it into Travis’s puckered anus. Travis’s laughter broke off in an intense, hedonistic moan as John delved inside his hot, tight interior, searching for his spot of pleasure. With a feeling bordering on veneration, John fixed his gaze on Travis’s face while he probed deeper into the moist cavity. Cheeks red from arousal and closed eyes fluttering erratically, Travis licked his lower lip and bit down, screwing up his face in concentrated lust. John had never seen anything so completely erotic as the expressions Travis made while he explored him. When he finally reached his hot button, he circled the mound lightly. Travis shuddered hard. “More,” he whispered, thrusting onto John’s finger until it stabbed into his prostate. Such shameless need seared John to the soul. The very idea of another ever touching the exquisite body in his arms roused something inside him he’d never experienced. He wanted this kid for his own. To hell with what anyone thought. The sudden possessiveness scared him a little. Keeping his finger buried in Travis’s tight hole, he added a second, garnering a 27

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carnal scream from his young lover. Pulling out, he spit a few times into the hole so he could glide without pulling the skin. As he slithered his tongue up and down that pretty, silky cock, Travis took over, fucking John’s fingers. The saltiness of pre-cum and the heady musk of his crotch almost drove John to orgasm though Travis had stopped touching him. Why was that again? “Forgetting something?” John nudged him in the face with his wet prick. As if waking from a dream, Travis’s eyes flickered open. Ass still rocking onto John’s hand, he seized his dick and swallowed it down. John groaned from the decadent feel of the kid’s expert mouth and tongue. He plunged in and out of his hot channel, giving him what he needed. Travis moaned appreciatively, the vibration shooting straight down John’s shaft and into his nuts. It didn’t take John long to realize Travis liked harder pressure on his gland than most guys did, feeding the notion maybe he might be capable of handling more than a few fingers. Overcome with an urge to fuck him with all his might, John buried his face in the trimmed bush, inhaling the lust and sweat, as he tried, unsuccessfully, to banish his desires. Adding a third digit, he cupped Travis’s bottom and drew him closer so he could watch them go deep into that succulent, lush hole. Whimpering around the huge cock in his mouth, Travis rocked his hips. Though his hand had begun to tire from the enthusiastic way Travis squirmed around, he kept right on finger fucking the boy, loving the way he shuddered and twitched each time he honed in on his prostate. Never before had John been with anyone so electric and responsive. Knowing he still had the moves to please a lover made him feel half his age. When John sucked him down once more, the kid came unglued. He’d been sensuous before, but now he threw back his head and moaned, crying out, “Oh fuck!” so loudly the people next door probably heard him. Rather than be concerned, pride washed over John, knowing he caused him so much joy. He moved his tongue steadily along Travis’s shaft and bobbed his mouth up and down, scissoring his fingers deeper into the young ass. 28

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Travis seized John’s thighs then, digging into the flesh, and began to suck him with wild abandon. John shuddered but before he could enjoy it, Travis jerked and his cock stabbed into the back of John’s throat. Fighting down the gag reflex, he kept his lips tight for suction as Travis frantically began fucking his face. His hand ached as Travis thrust his ass clear to his third knuckle. Unable to hold back any longer, he slammed deep into the sultry tightness of Travis’s mouth. Travis’s balls tightened and his body tensed seconds before the first tangy burst of cum shot out. Groaning, John used his tongue to pump the white nectar from Travis’s cock, urged on by the way his own dick muffled his lover’s screams. John pulled back near the end of it so those last delicious bits of release sprayed his lips and goatee. The scent and taste of cum, the vice-like clenching of Travis’s sphincter on his fingers, made John’s own climax barrel in on him. John roared as lightning shot through his veins and he thrust further into Travis’s throat, cum bursting forth unchecked. John’s head spun and lights exploded behind his eyes as he came harder than he had in years, the intensity of it almost frightening. Clawing at his thighs, Travis whimpered and swallowed everything down, sucking him until he became oversensitive. But damn if he wanted those lips off him anytime soon. Breathing heavy, John collapsed back on the bed, the violent orgasm leaving nothing inside him. With surprising energy, Travis sidled up beside him, lying across his heaving chest to kiss him on the mouth. At the feel of his cum-wetted lips, John found the energy to cup the back of Travis’s head, the prickly, short hairs teasing his palms. His own thick fluid lingered on Travis’s swollen lips and he licked, relishing the delicious flavor of their combined spunk. Truly, he had never tasted anything sweeter. Travis grinned, eyes bright and cheeks flushed. “That was fucking awesome.” John kissed the tip of Travis’s nose and let out a breathy chuckle. “Yeah, kid. It was.”

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Chapter Seven A loud rumble startled Travis out of his post-orgasm slumber. He sat up, elbow poking into John’s broad, hairy chest. “Was that you?” John gave him a sheepish shrug and a smile. “Yeah, I’m starving.” “Guess we should get you something to eat.” Slapping him lightly on the belly, Travis sat up and looked around for a room service menu. He grinned at the sight of his T-shirt over the lampshade and one of his shoes lying on the desk. They’d been excited. A flicker of light captured his attention. “What’s that?” Still naked, he climbed out of bed and pushed the patio doors open. He grinned when they slid completely inside the wall, making the outside appear to be part of the room. Standing in the doorway, the romantic setting took Travis by surprise. Large pots of tropical flowers decorated with white, twinkling Christmas lights lined the terrace, and candles graced almost every surface. His stomach made a tiny noise of hunger when he noticed a cart, heavily laden with fruits, breads, cakes, and cheeses, beside a beautifully set table for two, complete with linens, crystal and a chilling bucket of champagne. Hints of soft music he’d been too upset upon his arrival, and then too horny to notice, complimented the ambiance. “Is this supposed to be for me?” “It is.” The warm ocean breeze whisked over the terrace wall, extinguishing a few of the candles and causing the rest to flicker and dance. The sun had sunk below the sea, but hints of red and purple still lingered on the horizon. On the opposite side of the sky, the blackness of night with its speckling of stars encroached on the last vestiges of light. Unlike back home, the darkness did not bring with it a chill. The night remained warm, rich with the salty aroma of the sea and the other damp, slightly floral scents of the tropics. Travis let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “It’s beautiful.”

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“You’re beautiful.” Startled, he turned to see John towering over him, the heat of his exposed flesh warming him instantly. The sleepy smile and rumpled blond hair looked so damn sexy, he had the sudden impulse to embrace and kiss him. Thank him for all the careful planning he had put into the night. Then reality returned. “You mean, this is for the one you wanted,” he whispered, his feelings still stung despite what they’d shared. John heaved a weary sigh. “I’m sorry if I hurt you feelings. Sometimes I….” Despite the humiliation eating at his insides, Travis forced a smile and stepped away. He needed to put some space between them. “It’s okay. We both got off. I guess it turned out fine.” John moved toward him, hand outstretched. Then, as if thinking better of it, he bunched his fist at his side and stayed in place. “No, Travis. It’s not okay. I acted like an ass, and I’m sorry. But I thought we’d had a giant mix-up. Like you couldn’t possibly be the one they sent for me.” “Why? You filled out your request form, paid money, same as me.” His prickly mood dissipated. No wonder Madame Eve didn’t like to mention price. It cheapened everything. He sighed. “Then again, I’m not what you asked for.” “But I’m very pleased with what I got.” “Then why—” His voice broke, so he started over. “Why did you ditch me?” “I figured no way would someone like you would want to spend the night with me.” “What do you mean someone like me?” he demanded, feeling mildly indignant. John cracked a smile. “God, Travis, look at you. You’re like every fag’s wet dream.” He buried a chuckle. “This isn’t funny.” “I know it isn’t, but don’t you see? You should be with sexy guys your own age. Not some washed-up old fool like me.” Travis threw out his hands. “That’s the whole point. I don’t want someone like me.” “Look, kid, I figured you’d be angry with who the service sent, too, so I left. 31

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Frankly, I’ve been through a bad time the last couple of years and I didn’t want to risk that kind of humiliation.” The hurt in his gaze cut Travis to the bone. “What do you mean ‘bad time’?” “My partner, Kurt, died three years ago from cancer.” “Aww, I’m so sorry.” Shaking his head hard, John looked out at the ocean. “It’s been a long time since I did anything like this. I came down here because it seemed like a safe way to get back on the horse, if you know what I mean.” Travis hesitated. “You mean that you haven’t…?” John’s cheeks reddened. “I haven’t been with anyone since he died. Hell, I practically asked Madame Eve to send me a carbon copy of Kurt. So when I saw you, I don’t know,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “I sort of freaked. You weren’t what I expected, and you’re so far outta my league, I figured I’d stop it before you ended up rejecting me. But instead, I ended up hurting you.” What could Travis possibly say to that? Rather than address the heaviness of John’s confession or how it made him feel, Travis stepped closer. “You think I’m outta your league?” “Um, yeah? Look at you. I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around why someone like you would want me.” “That’s enough with the ‘someone like you’ bullshit. Can’t you accept that I have a thing for hot, older, hairy guys?” The absurdity of both of them being completely naked while John bared his heart was not lost on Travis. He reached out a slim hand and rested it on John’s large, tanned forearm. He could feel his tension and wanted to ease it. “I’m sorry you didn’t end up getting what you asked for, but maybe that’s a good thing. It wouldn’t have been fair to you or Kurt’s memory. And, frankly, it’s not fair to do that to future boyfriends either.” At John’s thunderstruck expression, Travis feared he’d crossed a line. Things weren’t supposed to get so heavy. But his concerns quickly disappeared when John placed a hand over his, squeezing it tight against his arm. He smiled. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He shrugged, feeling warm and happy all of a sudden. “No, problem, big guy. I 32

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guess you had a pretty good reason for being an ass. I’m over it.” John sniffed a laugh. “So does this mean you forgive me? And maybe you’ll stay with me the rest of the night?” Travis looked up at the beautiful bear standing before him. Something about the genuine honesty in those hazel eyes, the uncertainty of his posture, told Travis John didn’t ask him to stay because he’d paid or was still horny—well, hopefully it had a little to do with being horny. He didn’t need a replacement for his dead partner either. John simply wanted Travis.

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Chapter Eight “You sure you don’t want a refund?” Travis gave him a saucy grin, stepping back and planting a hand on his naked hip. As John’s gaze went the length of his body, his spent cock twitched and his voice went gravelly with sudden lust. “Hell no!” He chuckled, realizing how easily he’d fallen for Travis’s wiles. “Usually, I don’t like surprises. I like rules and order. Probably why I’m a law professor.” Travis busted up laughing. “I just took the bar.” “Really?” “Yup. This vacation is my reward for the lack of social life while I slaved over textbooks getting ready for it last year.” After confessing about Kurt, John was grateful for the shift in conversation. “Yeah, studying for the bar can be a real bitch.” “It was, but I think I did okay.” Travis made his way over to the cart of food, his cute, round butt tempting John with every step. Selecting a ripe piece of mango, Travis took a small bite, sucking half the fruit languidly into his mouth. After experiencing the glory of that mouth first hand, unreasonable jealousy against any and all mangos overcame him. Then, deliberately it seemed, Travis drew the yellow fruit from his lips in a long, liquid movement, sweeping his tongue slowly below his lower lip to catch the juice. He slanted a glance at John, a knowing little grin playing across his face. John swallowed hard. Yeah, the little devil had done it on purpose. Young and full of pent-up sexuality, Travis had wisdom in his blue eyes that belied his innocent looks. He’d been correct. John hadn’t been fair to himself. No one could replace the time with Kurt, and he didn’t want them to. Those years, though not always perfect, had been precious. He couldn’t go back, yet putting one foot in front of the other was no longer good enough. He’d come down to the Caribbean to open new doors.

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Who knew someone seventeen years his junior and half his size would hold the key? Getting everything out in the open had loosened the figurative bands on his chest, letting him breathe easier. However the seductive way Travis bit and suckled the mango, sticky juice dribbling down his chin, did not help with oxygen making it to his brain. Clearing his throat, he picked up a plate and handed it to Travis, hoping if he used proper eating utensils instead of doing indecent things to fruit, John might be able to have an actual conversation with him. “When will you know you passed?” “If I passed.” “I’m sure you did.” “God, I hope you’re right.” Travis dropped his shoulders and let out a weary sigh, offering John a smile. With the confident way he made love, that flash of innocence and fear surprised him. Actually, it made John want to reach out and hug him, comfort him. Take care of him. Pushing the sudden overwhelming needs aside, he filled his plate and gestured for Travis to join him at the table. Sitting down for a meal naked should’ve been awkward, but Travis’s company put him at ease. Like he could be himself— clothed or not. “I don’t know if I can handle taking that test again,” Travis went on, as if venting to himself. “I’m sure you did great. I’ve only known you an hour, but I can already tell you’re very smart.” “It’s only been an hour?” He paused in surprise. “Gosh, I feel like I’ve known you longer than that.” John started and looked up to find the younger man happily eating a piece of cheesecake, heedless of the impact of his statement. Not one to believe in love at first sight, or soul mates, or any other kind of romance novel nonsense, John couldn’t deny his connection with Travis. He wanted to know more about him, wanted to hold and keep him safe. Wake up beside him and cook him breakfast. He wondered if his sister would like Travis. He smothered a laugh. Good lord, Gracie would think he’d lost his mind if he 35

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brought home a hot twink as a souvenir. He could picture her rolling her eyes and telling him he should’ve just bought some shot glasses or a T-shirt like a normal person. The smile faded from his face as fast as it came. How thick could he get? Like Travis would ever meet his sister. After tonight, they would probably never see each other again. The realization made his stomach ache but he quickly dismissed it, refusing to let melancholy take him. A gorgeous, naked man sat across from him on a beautiful, moonlit night in a tropical paradise. He’d be damned if he didn’t enjoy every last moment of this experience. Feeling unbelievably grateful, John filled two crystal flutes with champagne. “A toast?” Still chewing his bite of cheesecake, Travis nodded in agreement. He wiped his hand on a napkin and reached for his glass, holding it up expectantly. “To serendipity intervening on my behalf and knowing what I wanted before I did.” John hoped the simple, heartfelt words would smooth over the hurt he’d caused Travis. Travis quirked one eyebrow, a gesture John found absolutely sexy. “And to passing the bar.” “Cheers.” After they clinked glasses, John asked, “What branch of law do you plan to go into?” “I’m going to be a child advocate.” Travis pursed his lips and jutted out his chin, bringing to mind a kid standing up against the bully who stole his lunch money one too many times. The glimmer of insecurity he’d seen earlier lay so far hidden, he wondered if he’d imagined it. He chose his words carefully. “Interesting choice. What made you pick it?” Travis took a sip of champagne. “I was a foster kid most my life.” He looked up at John, as if expecting ridicule or contempt. “My little brother got adopted right away, but I got passed around to eight different homes before I turned sixteen. Some of them weren’t that great and others were decent. But anything was better than being with my mom. She let her boyfriends do stuff to me. You know. Like beatings and stuff.” 36

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John knew what “and stuff” meant and it made him want to steal Travis away and hide him from the world. Or beat to death the men who had abused his beautiful Travis. Now, he knew where his insecurities stemmed from. More importantly, he understood the reason for his fire and passion. He reached out and placed a hand over Travis’s. “I’m sorry.” Travis tensed and John thought he might jerk his hand free, but after a sigh he relaxed and laced their fingers together, his thumb stroking the back of John’s hand. “Thank you. But it happened a long time ago. I still see my brother sometimes. The system worked for him. He has a great life. But there are kids out there it’s not working for. They need somebody who knows what they’re going through and can get them help. Show them that no matter what others did to them, their lives can still be successful even if the statistics say otherwise.” John beamed with pride. That kind of intensity came from a place deep within and couldn’t be learned from a legal textbook. Travis may have had a rough go of it in the beginning, but apparently nothing stopped him from living and going after what he wanted. John could learn a lot from him. “With an understanding and a fire like that, you’re gonna make a damn fine lawyer.” A genuine, boyish smile lit up his face and went straight to John’s heart. “Thanks. That means a lot coming from you.” They held hands as they continued to eat. John liked the connection. Travis had said being with a man like John made him feel safe and loved. Happiness simmered in him at the mere idea he could, in some way, fill that need for Travis, if only for a night. He’d never known the joy of having another person need him for anything. Kurt had been successful, confident, and gorgeous. He could’ve had anyone he wanted. Rather than feel blessed Kurt picked him, John always felt superfluous. Yet, he didn’t feel that way with Travis at all. The younger man’s presence filled a hole which had gone unacknowledged for a long time—John’s need to be needed. Guilt over such treacherous ideas gnawed at his insides. No! He gritted his teeth. This had to stop. Comparing the two men would only cause harm to Kurt’s memory and to John. And it was especially unfair to Travis. Not that he ever had to know. Nothing would happen between them after this one shot deal. He had to 37

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keep reminding himself of that. “Do you have a job lined up yet?” John hastily asked to cover his thoughts. Travis shrugged, his bare shoulders glowing in the pale moonlight. “The job market in Toledo isn’t exactly good. I’m thinking about relocating.” John dropped his fork and sat back in surprise. “You live in Toledo? As in Toledo, Ohio?” “Indeed I do. And it’s every bit as unglamorous as you’ve heard.” “I live in Ypsilanti and my sister Gracie lives in Sylvania.” He couldn’t believe they lived less than an hour apart. Travis’s jaw gaped. “No way. And we had to fly all the way down here to meet? Crazy.” “I teach Law at U of M.” Travis groaned. “You’re telling me I slept with a Wolverine? Shoot me now. If my OSU alums ever find out, I’m dead.” “You went to Ohio State? Now, I know why you had on that blasphemous Buckeye T-shirt,” John teased. “Hey now!” Travis popped him square in the face with a grape. “We totally kicked your ass last year.” John tossed the grape right back, grinning when Travis dodged the fruit projectile. “Oh, you wait ’til this fall.” He loved how Travis could joke about the football rivalry. Most guys took sports far too seriously. A smile still playing about his full lips, Travis took a sip of champagne, his attention shifting to the spectacular coastline. John followed his gaze as well. The moon cast silvery shadows across the water, creating the illusion the ships were diamonds floating on the horizon. “It’s beautiful here.” “It is.” John agreed, not really looking at the view. Half of the candles had been extinguished by the gentle breeze, but the twinkling lights on the plants provided plenty of light for John to enjoy the much better scenery sitting across from him. Travis was exceptional looking, lean but well-defined. Funny, too. John had never been so completely charmed in all his life. A few moles dotted his chest, which John hadn’t noticed before. He yearned for a chance to savor his body more slowly. Make Travis moan and wriggle around again. His mind entertained 38

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ways to make him come so hard he’d never forget their night together. His cock swelled at the prospect. Oh, yeah, John planned to leave such a lasting impression Travis would be begging for his home phone number. Wait! No way would a guy like Travis want to be seen with a hairy ape like him. Yet, despite the unlikely match, Travis seemed genuinely attracted to him. Shouldn’t he take the chance? He came to Turks and Caicos with a plan to jump start his life, but subconsciously he’d been attempting to recreate his old one. Travis had not been what he asked for but he seemed to be just what John needed. A subtle shift in the wind fluttered the hair lying down John’s back, the whisper of a ghost. For a flash, he imagined the warm air to be the touch of Kurt’s hands; the waves, the sound of his voice. The sensation did not linger, however, but caught on the gentle ocean breeze, flitting away like the distant echo of a forgotten story. A shiver went down his spine, yet before sadness and grief could take him, Travis turned to him and smiled. The empty feeling, the hole that had been there since Kurt died, began to fill with the exuberance for life radiating from Travis. This night should not have created such strong feelings of promise and hope within him. Yet, even if John could’ve figured out how to make them stop, he wouldn’t. He’d finally read the last sentence of a favorite book. Though it would always have a special place in his heart, the time had come to put it back on the shelf and start a new one. That soft breeze kissed his naked back again, as if a farewell blessing of approval. The palms swayed and fluttered overhead, the sounds of good-bye. Feeling like a millstone had fallen from his neck, John took hold of Travis’s smooth, youthful hand and brought the knuckles to his lips. “Shall we go inside?” Travis nodded. Still holding his hand, John helped him stand, the sight of the raging hard on Travis had been hiding under the table making his knees a little weak. As they moved back inside, he realized he’d already begun a new book, though he hadn’t even realized he’d read the first word. The anticipation at what he might find on the next page thrilled him. 39

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Chapter Nine The sounds of the ocean muffled slightly when they entered the suite. Travis had never been anywhere like this, and as badly as he wanted to get down and dirty with John, the warm tropical night beckoned him to linger outdoors. “Too bad we can’t make love under the stars.” John paused and gave him a funny look. “Why can’t we?” “What do you mean?” Without answering, John went to the bed and slid the mattress off the box springs. “Hey, what are you doing?” “What’s it look like?” A statue of the Greek god Atlas come to life, he hoisted the mattress as if it weighed nothing, dragging it out onto the terrace. Travis worried his lip. “Are you sure you’re allowed to do that?” “What are they gonna say?” Voice strained from the effort of lifting, he dropped the mattress in the center of the patio with a loud thump. “If my man wants sleep under the stars, by damn, he’s gonna sleep under the stars.” My man. Those words hit Travis right in the gut. After fussing with the blankets and pillows, John stretched out on his side, legs crossed at the ankles. His long, blond curls cascaded down his shoulders like ripples of sand in the shallows. To Travis’s delight, his large, veiny dick had already grown semi-hard. With a heavy-lidded gaze, John reached for him. “Care to join me?” Travis never moved so fast in all his life. He crawled toward his bear, heart racing in anticipation. Falling into John’s embrace, their lips met in a long, wet kiss. Coiling his leg over a hairy thigh, he took that meaty cock in his hand once more, eliciting a growly noise of approval from John. Travis grinned madly. His bear even growled. How awesome was that? Pumping his hand slowly up the thick girth of John’s cock, Travis easily brought him to full erection. John’s head fell back, mouth damp and open. Travis

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kissed his lips, the goatee tickling his chin. Knowing he could make this giant tremble intoxicated him. Even more wonderful than that, Travis could trust John and let all of his inhibitions down, be himself. John would not judge. He would hold him. Protect him. It was silly, he knew. John only came to this tropical paradise to get over his dead partner—Travis, the means to that end. Yet, it didn’t matter. He couldn’t deny how safe he felt in John’s arms. Safer than anywhere in his entire, fuckedup life. With another growl, John pulled his leg all the way over, placing Travis on all fours above him. He adored how easily John could move and reposition him. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, Travis.” “You, too,” he whispered, shivering as rough hands slid up his thighs and over his ass. Travis buried his face in John’s neck, inhaling his masculine scent. He never wanted to forget the heady nuance of it. Pushing his long, blond locks out of the way, Travis exposed John’s throat to his questing mouth. He kissed him then proceeded to lick a trail across the broad expanse of hairy chest. He could lick this man forever. The weight of his erection bobbed above John’s belly. Pushing his heavy, muscled arms over his head, Travis tongued the hollow of John’s throat until he writhed and moaned beneath him. Needing to make John know what a magnificent body he had, and how amazing it felt just to be with him, Travis worshiped him with his tongue. John offered little sighs of encouragement so Travis made his way to his armpit, leaving a wet trail in his wake. He sank his face in that crevice, the musk filling his senses and making him dizzier than a dozen mojitos. He could easily become addicted to the scent of John Godfrey’s body. Hell, who was he kidding? His addiction started the second he saw him. “Kiss me,” John pleaded, the sound making Travis weak with need. Obediently, he spread out over John, his cock nestling in the valley where his thigh and stomach met. While eager tongues explored one another, John wrapped him up with his legs and arms, coarse body hair scintillating every inch of Travis’s naked skin. Squirming with delight, he couldn’t stop the happy giggle 41

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bubbling out of him. John raised his brows. “What?” Travis trailed a finger across his jaw, the goatee prickling his fingertip. He smiled down at his lover. “You feel so damn good. I love how your hairy skin tickles me.” John sported a smug, sideways grin. “Oh yeah? How’s this?” He shifted and pinned Travis beneath him. Lightning shot into his every nerve the moment John’s colossal body smothered his. A long, raspy groan burst from his lips and he swore the pressure on his cock might make him come. “What?” John asked a bit too loudly. “Am I hurting you?” He made to roll off, but Travis frantically held him in place. “Please, God, don’t go anywhere. I want to be covered by you. Please....” His brows furrowed skeptically. “You’re sure I’m not too heavy?” “Fuck yes, I’m sure! You feel fantastic on top of me, John. This is what I wanted from the beginning, I love it. I feel so safe. I want you to fuck me like this. Please…” His voice had taken on a whiny, frustrated tone, but he couldn’t help it. His cock throbbed from John’s weight pressing into him, his belly pushing into Travis’s dick and the hairs tickling the sensitive skin. Each breath John took made the pressure increase, rushing Travis toward orgasm. He rocked his hips, desperately rubbing his erection into the big man. “Can’t you feel how much I want it?” John groaned as if he were in pain. He gripped him by the hips to stop his wild gyrating. “Fuck me, please!” Travis didn’t care if he sounded pathetic. He needed this gentle giant inside him. The one he’d been searching for, the one he’d always wanted. “That’s not a good idea.” Travis wanted to pound his fists on the bed in a temper tantrum. “Then what the hell are we doing here? Rubbing and kissing like a couple of teenagers? I want you to fuck me.” John shifted his weight so he lay beside Travis. His dick was still rock hard. As 42

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if his cock, like Travis, didn’t understand this ban on screwing either. After a deep sigh, John whispered, “Travis, please, the one time I…fucked a smaller guy, like you…I-I made him bleed.” His voice broke. “I hurt him so bad he cried for hours. Travis, I don’t wanna—” “John.” Travis cut him off, placing a finger on his chin so he would look at him. When their gazes met he gave him a reassuring smile. “You could never hurt me. It’s not like that with us.” “I want you, but I won’t hurt you just so I can get off. I care too much about you.” More than the sincere panic in his voice stopped Travis from replying. A lump had formed in his throat at the notion John might really care about him. Could it be true? No one had ever denied himself to spare Travis. They usually took what he offered and did what they pleased with him, figuring if a small guy willingly offered up his ass then he could take whatever they dished out. Even when he begged and cried for them to stop. He’d been such a fool so many times before, falling into the same traps with men, hoping the next time would be different, better. Maybe better had finally arrived. Bottom lip trembling, Travis cupped John’s face in his hand. “You won’t hurt me, John. I trust you. I—” He bit his lip to keep from adding, I love you. To his shock, it seemed like the most logical thing in the world to say. Naturally, he’d simply been caught up in the moment, yet with John’s warm, hairy body so close, he had a hard time sorting out his thoughts. How could he love someone he just met? Was he really so damn clingy? Desperate? He didn’t know and right now he didn’t care. The only thing he knew for certain—he wanted that huge cock in his ass. He clutched John’s arms, pulling him closer. “Please!” After studying him seriously for a moment, John relented with a sigh. “Okay…but you have to promise if it hurts you’ll tell me, so I can stop.” An impatient rush of breath escaped Travis’s lips. “I promise, okay? Now, go get the damn condoms!” Chuckling, John climbed from the mattress, returning with a strip of condoms 43

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and a bottle of lube. Travis grinned at his magnificent bear as he knelt on the bed, crawling closer. “How do you wanna do this?” “You on top, facing me.” Travis grabbed the backs of his knees and lifted his legs. John let out a little whimper at the sight of the readily displayed hole. Travis grinned, the helpless yearning in John’s eyes the most powerful aphrodisiac he could imagine. John gazed upon him for a lingering moment then hastily slid between his thighs, leaning down to ravish his mouth with a kiss. Their cocks squashed together and Travis snaked his hands through John’s beautiful, long tresses. Panting and out of breath, John reached down to tug and stroke Travis’s dick. His incredible touch caused a surge of pre-cum to leak but Travis ached for more. “Stop teasing me,” he moaned, rocking his hips and nudging the underside of John’s balls. “I can’t stand it. Just get that big dick in me!” His bear growled again and the lid on the lube snapped open. The squish of fluid followed and Travis braced himself for the icy shock, but none came. John must have warmed it—thoughtful and considerate, even in the heat of the moment. Travis groaned with relief when John’s strong fingers began to work his hole. First one finger, then two. He thrust down, desperate to make sharp contact with his prostate. But John teased, going in far enough to drive Travis crazy, yet not giving him what he wanted. Just when he thought about shamelessly begging for cock like the slut this man had apparently turned him into, John had the condom wrapper between his teeth and lube in hand. He tore off the corner and Travis eagerly helped him roll it on. Then the wet, slick sounds of John lubing up his dick filled the air, driving him crazy with anticipation. Smiling, he watched John inch forward on his knees. When he took hold of Travis’s legs and positioned them over his shoulders, chest hairs tickled the back of his thighs and butt. As he supported the weight of John’s torso with his legs while his lover arrowed that latex wrapped dick at his ass, insanely, Travis congratulated himself on spending so much time stretching his hamstrings. 44

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“Are you ready?” John paused, his voice and face strained with need. “I’ve been ready my whole life for you, John.” Travis met his gaze, wondering if his lover knew how sincere those words were. Holding his breath, Travis waited for the delicious sting of first entry. When John pressed against him, he pushed out, relaxing and welcoming him inside. The painful burn of that enormous dick invading his body caused sweat to break out on his brow, his back to tense. But no way in hell would ask John to stop, not when he knew unspeakable pleasure lay only moments away. He studied the planes of John’s face, knowing at one word from him, he would pull out, deny himself to spare any hurt. If he only understood the hurt Travis feared most was not having John in his life after tonight. As John pushed, for a flash, Travis wondered if it would actually fit, the pain had grown so intense. But the further he went, the more the hurt morphed into a decadent, wondrous sensation. “Are you okay?” John whispered. He nodded quickly, reaching up to brush a hand along his jaw. “Thank you.” He thanked him for far more than John would ever know. They would most likely part ways in the morning, but he wanted John to know how much this night meant to him. When John kissed him soft and sweetly, Travis thought maybe he did understand. Maybe he sensed what was happening between them, too. “Oh, God, you’re so tight,” John moaned, bracing his hands on either side of Travis’s head, the weight of his shoulders pulling on Travis’s thighs as he practically folded him in half. He loved being pinned like this, gazing up at the restrained passion contorting John’s face as he kneeled above him, the way his thighs framed him perfectly. He reached around and gripped John’s hips, willing him deeper. “More, please….” John complied, letting out a groan as he pressed harder this time. When the tip of his cock finally slid over his prostate, Travis shook, screaming out from the joy of it. “I’m sorry!” 45

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The instant John retreated in a panic, Travis grappled for his hips to keep him close. “No, no! Don’t you dare stop now! You’re not hurting me. You’re right there! Give it all to me harder, please!” John must have believed the desperate plea, because after kissing one of Travis’s knees, the levy broke. A flood of passion and pain, of heaven and hell, swamped Travis as John dropped his hips, driving his cock all the way to the root. Flashes of light blurred his vision from the intensity of John finally being inside him, his groin flush against his butt, Travis’s legs straight up in the air. The delicious agony of it all. Crying out in exquisite relief, he grabbed a handful of luscious blond hair and yanked John’s mouth down for a starved kiss. Gasping for breath, Travis rocked his hips up, and finally, blessedly, John began to move. He released his death grip on John’s hair and held on to his biceps, loving the slide of cock retreating from his body, and craving it to slam back in. John’s movements were gentle and firm, methodical but creative as he fucked him. He crawled to get closer, pressing Travis’s legs back and lifting his ass off the bed. With a tilt of his hips, John nailed his prostate hard. Travis dug his fingers into his arm, crying out. With a grunt, John pulled back, only to give him two short jabs, leaving no part of his insides untouched or unsatisfied by John’s nine-inch cock. Travis’s knees ratcheted to John’s body—thighs shaking, he met him thrust for thrust. Fingers still slick from lube, John took hold of Travis’s dick. He swore he’d died and gone to heaven as the slick pressure of his stroking made him whimper. At a loss as to whether he should be fucking John’s hand or pushing onto the cock in his ass, he ended up lost in a wild rhythm of trying to do both, using John’s shoulders as leverage and knowing he would climax in mere seconds. “Oh, God, John! Fuck me! Fuck me harder!” Travis’s voice echoed wantonly in the tropical night, but he didn’t care, too lost to the ecstasy of being filled completely. Pressing the flat of both hands on the back of Travis’s thighs, John growled, and began to pound into him. The sudden intensity of his thrusting made Travis’s cock slap wetly, over and over against his stomach. It sent him to the brink. Clinging to John’s massive shoulders, an electric jolt striking just below his spine, 46

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he released a strangled cry and sharp pleasure exploded from the base of his dick like the cork bursting free from a shaken bottle of champagne. The first wave of thick cum hit him in the chin, but he thrashed so hard the second landed on his thighs and John’s belly. As his own ride shuddered to a stop, he remembered to clench down when the huge cock swelled and quivered inside him as John reached orgasm, too. Travis swore he could feel the pulses of hot cum filling up the condom as John thrust his way to completion. Boneless and melting in elation, they untangled and collapsed in a sweaty mass of naked limbs and hot spunk. Travis shuddered when John retreated from his body. He could barely breathe from the weight on top of him, but he hugged John closer, terrified of the moment when it would end. When Travis returned to his own room, his own life, never to see John again. The very idea made him want to weep. After a sweet kiss, John climbed from the bed, leaving Travis chilled and hollow. He returned with a warm, wet cloth and lovingly, painstakingly, cleaned off the cum and excess lube from their bodies. As if nothing were more natural, the moment he lay beside Travis, they wrapped up in each other’s arms, their bodies fitting perfectly together. Perhaps serendipity really had intervened to put them together. All his life, Travis had searched for someone to care for him, protect him. Love him. Though he’d only known John this one night, he wanted to believe their connection had been genuine. John had even said he cared about him. Yet, Travis wasn’t so dumb he couldn’t separate pillow talk from reality. No matter what ridiculously romantic drivel he wanted to believe, John only came to Turks and Caicos to get back in the saddle. Travis would never be more than a one-night stand.

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Chapter Ten John woke the next morning to sunshine warming his face, the gentle rush of the Caribbean Sea in the distance a lullaby he could easily get used to serenading him as he slept. With a lazy, contented sigh, he reached for the slim body of his new lover only to find cool, untouched sheets. Heart racing, he blinked a few times and looked around. Had Travis left without saying good-bye? His breath let out in a rush of relief when he spied Travis, wrapped in a white bed sheet, sitting on the edge of the terrace wall, facing the beautiful sunrise. “There you are,” John said softly, so as not to startle him. Travis turned only his head, squinting back at him. His dark hair stood up in the back and he looked absolutely stunning with the pink morning sky framing him. “Morning.” John climbed from the mattress, his knees popping a little bit. Damn, he missed the days he could jump out of bed. But the sight of his sexy lover waiting ten feet away put a decent spring in his step. Wrapping his arms around Travis from behind, he savored the easy way he leaned into him and shivered when John kissed a sun-soaked cheek. He looked down at the dizzying drop. “You should be careful sitting up here.” Travis spun to face him, wrapping his legs around his waist and arms around his neck. “You’d never let me fall, would you?” Cocking his head to the side, John drew him closer. The sheet shifted and their naked groins touched. Hoping Travis meant something deeper, John answered with sincerity, “No, I wouldn’t.” A smile danced on Travis’s rosy lips and without hesitation, John kissed him. Per his usual, Travis’s entire body became involved. He pressed into him, making the delicious little noises John loved so much. John’s morning wood stiffened further as he cupped Travis’s butt in his hands. Never ending the kiss, he lifted Travis off the railing, back-stepping to a safe distance. He set him on his feet but

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didn’t release him. “I’m starving,” he whispered, nipping hungrily at Travis’s neck. “Do you wanna stay for breakfast?” Travis practically purred as he pressed against him. “As long as you’re on the menu.” “I meant real food, hon.” John ignored his body’s fiery reaction and led Travis to the serving cart. Unfortunately, they’d been too distracted with each other to cover the dishes the night before and ants had begun to set up house. He snorted. “Well, that sucks.” Travis ran wandering fingers up his muscular back. “I’m sorry. Wish I would’ve noticed this and ordered you something. I usually don’t eat breakfast.” John gave his shoulders a companionable squeeze. “That’s okay. What time did you get up anyway?” Travis looked like a kid caught with a hand in the cookie jar. “I never really slept.” John quirked his brow. “Why not?” “I’ve been sleeping my whole life. Last night I didn’t want to miss….” He looked suddenly embarrassed, as if he’s said far more than he intended. Mind reeling, John’s insides did somersaults. John had been sleepwalking through life since Kurt died, living day to day and waiting for something—anything to save him. From the moment Travis entered his life, it had been as if he’d been given a jolt of caffeine. Though it made no sense, John realized he’d fallen faster and harder for Travis than any man he’d ever known. There was something magnetic about Travis, something fragile John wanted to protect. He exuded an energy and passion John admired, too. He’d be a fool if he let Travis slip from his grasp without at least seeing where things could go. For the first time he could remember, crippling grief did not claim him when he thought of moving on with a new lover. He’d come down here to learn to live again, and Travis had shown him not only what he’d been missing, but how to say good-bye. Travis might never comprehend what he’d done with just a smile and a touch. 49

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Indeed, a new chapter in John’s life had begun. But would Travis want to be in the story? Deciding the time had come to bare it all, regardless of what happened, John reached out and took Travis’s hands in his. The bed sheet fell to the floor so they both were naked, fully exposed in every way. “Travis?” His brow crinkled at the serious tone John adopted. “Yes?” “I haven’t felt this happy in a long time. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt like this. It terrifies me, but I wanna find out what it means. What it could mean. For us….” Travis stared and John held his breath. Just when he thought he’d made a huge mistake, Travis rose up on tip-toes to kiss him, the touch sweet, but full of promise. Breathless, John pulled back for clarification, more than aware kissing had roused them both. “Does that mean you wanna keep seeing me? Maybe even after we go home?” The pleased smile Travis wore answered the question, but he replied anyway. “Definitely.” John couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face. “You know, I have this suite all week. Would you sleep here, under the stars, with me?” Travis’s lower lip trembled and he bit down on it. “I thought you’d never ask.” Overcome with happiness, John threw his arms around his new lover’s small body and kissed his mouth, sliding his tongue in and relishing the delicious and now familiar flavor that was Travis. A few days ago, John never would’ve thought this would happen to him. Yet here he stood, falling head over heels for a younger man who made him want to live. A man like none other. One who made him feel needed. He didn’t love Travis, not yet, but he knew in a very short time he could. “Do you have plans for today?” If Travis intended to date him, he’d have to learn John liked to have things structured. No surprises. Except the naked surprise in his arms. That one turned out to be most welcome. “I had a scuba lesson on my itinerary for this afternoon.” “You have an itinerary?” Travis looked embarrassed. “Well, yeah. Grand Turk has some of the best 50

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diving in the world. I might never get a chance to come back here so I have a whole bunch of things planned. An architectural tour of Cockburn Town tomorrow. Gibbs Cay on Monday. Whale watching on Thursday.” He laughed at his new lover’s efficiency. “Oh, we’re going to get along fine.” Travis nudged a suggestive hip into John’s thigh. “You should come with me to my lesson then see where the afternoon takes us.” “Back here, hopefully?” “I’d like that.” Curious fingers began to stroke his bottom, tickling the fuzz. Squirming away, John grabbed Travis’s hand to stop him. “You are an insatiable little thing, aren’t you?” “You have no idea,” he purred. John wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. “Mmm, I need breakfast first.” Travis reached between them and stroked John’s cock. “I could live off this for a while.” Chuckling, he pushed Travis’s naughty hands away. “Well, I need real food. How about I order breakfast and you stay here all sexy and naked.” He waggled his brows suggestively. “Then I’ll see about feeding you?” Travis laughed and picked up the sheet from the floor. Tossing it across the chaise lounge, he stretched out, hands laced under his head and a happy cock pointing straight up. “Sounds like a plan. You eat and I’ll work on my tan. But this delicate white skin of mine burns easy so I’ll need someone to rub sunblock on my back.” John reached out and took hold of Travis’s cock, earning a yelp. “I think you’ll need it on more than your back, don’t you?” His blue eyes went lust-drunk as John stroked him slowly. He nodded, lips gaping. “Uh-huh.” Smiling wickedly, he released his new lover’s dick and went to find his laptop. “I’ll get right on that. But there’s something I need to do first.” Travis let out a petulant whine. “But I might get sunburned waiting.” John laughed and faced the gorgeous man who just might represent his entire 51

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future. “Don’t worry, babe. I won’t let that pretty skin of yours burn. But first I need to write one hell of an apology email to Madame Eve.”

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~About the Author~

Bestselling erotica author Deanna Wadsworth leads a pretty vanilla life in Ohio with her hubby of 14 years and three demanding little dogs. She has a fascination with the exotic and taboo but it is her love of love in all its stages and incarnations which made her an erotica and m/m author.

Visit Deanna online at: www.deannawadsworth.blogspot.com