Dedications
To my Jack‟s namesakes: Jackie, for doing your best to make the world a bit more GLBTQ-friendly. You touched so many hearts. May you rest in peace. And of course to Mr. Rathbone, for providing entertainment and inspiration by just being your gorgeous, talented self.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 3 Auld Lang Syne
JACK hummed along with the radio as he organized the tack room in the main barn. It was a good day, late spring, with clear indications of the coming summer everywhere around him, green pastures and happy horses. Except Stella, who was bitchy, but she always was when she was in foal. “Quit your whining, lass. Not worth it. You'll get out in a minute, but we have to wait until the boys clear out. You‟ll get all upset when Romeo is anywhere near,” he scolded the mare he could hear making noise in what the other ranch hands called “Jack‟s Barn.” “You know, it‟s quite endearing when you use that word, right?” A female voice asked from outside the tack room, and Jack rolled his eyes a bit before turning around. “It‟s your husband‟s fault, Mer. You know that.” Jack smiled as he walked out of the room and into the barn. “Oh, I know all about his „lads‟ and „lasses‟, trust me. Even though you‟ve been married to this place longer than I‟ve been married to him, I still say living in that house 24/7 gives me the privilege to say I get to listen to his accent and funny Scottish words more,” Meredith said as she wrote something on one of the chalkboards on the wall. She and Jack‟s boss, Seamus, had been married for six years now, and Jack was envious of the way the two looked at each other. Seamus had once told him that when a McRae found what he was looking for, he grabbed it and held on to it, no matter if it was land, a horse, or the perfect mate. “What‟s up?” Jack asked, nodding to the board which held the general information everyone needed to know.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 4 “Oh, just that the farrier is coming over to check on Lucky and Tessa on Monday,” Mer said and then looked at the door leading to Jack‟s Barn. “She okay in there?” “You know her. I think I‟m actually more nervous than she is. Luckily she‟s more bitchy.” Jack chuckled as he walked to the adjoining doorway and peeked into the mare‟s stall. “I hear Rick and Eli are going to go out to the back fence. They might not be back until late, so don‟t get all worried if Flash and Ginger are missing later,” Mer said on her way out of the door. “Right, thanks. When‟s Seamus going out?” he called after her. “Soon. He‟s finishing some paperwork. If you want to get rid of Romeo, just saddle him for Seamus if you have time.” She waved her hand as she walked toward the house again. It was a pretty decent gig, being the stable master of Seamus‟s ranch. Ten years ago the young Jackson Way had gotten on the bus elsewhere in Texas and ended up in town. From there he had hitched a ride to Red River Ranch or the “Triple R” as it was known around here. No, he had no appointment, but he had heard that the Scotsman who had bought the place some years before needed more men. The locals were saying good things about the foreigner, and it encouraged Jack to try his luck. It turned out that the “foreigner” had lived in the States for most of his life. When he walked into the main house, he had been terrified. He‟d heard that Seamus McRae was a massive man with a booming voice and very little patience for stupidity. At twenty-five Jack wasn‟t quite sure if he was over the stupidity yet. He hoped so, because with his five-foot-ten
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 5 frame, he was no match for someone who they said was at least six four and built like a draft horse. Needless to say, he was quite surprised when the Scot had been a jovial, easygoing fellow who, despite his size, had laughed a lot and been very friendly. It took Jack half an hour to get hired as a stable hand, and he hadn‟t left since. A couple of years after he had been hired, the old stable master, Greg Jenkins, had retired and moved to Houston where his daughter was living. Jack had been nervous as hell. After all it wasn‟t something he would ask for, the job. He didn‟t have to ask. The evening before Greg‟s departure in the gatehouse, as the staff‟s quarters were called, there was a knock on the door. Seamus walked in, and the youngest ranch hands cleared out. Only Greg, Jack, and some others were left. “Lads,” Seamus had greeted them, and everyone, even Greg, who was a good fifteen years older than the boss, had murmured a greeting. “Jackson, can I talk to you and Greg in private?” Seamus had asked and that had cleared the room completely. They had sat in the kitchen and Seamus had looked from Jack to Greg and back before grinning widely. “So, Greg here is leavin‟ us to go live with his lass. Now I‟m wondering who should be the stable master. What do you two have to say to that?” Then Seamus had leaned back in his usual style and grinned at them again. “As I see it, Jack is more than capable. Besides, he knows more about the breeding side of things than I do. I‟m more of a straightforward cowboy type with the horses. If you‟re going into breeding, you need him here. He might be a tad young, but he can do it all,” Greg had said and Jack had
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 6 been in awe. First of all, it was the most he had heard the older man talk, ever. Secondly, he was getting praise, which didn‟t happen often at all. Not because he was doing a bad job or anything, but because Greg just didn‟t give praise to anyone. “Jack?” Seamus‟s eyes had turned to him, and Jack had swallowed hard. “Well… I mean sure, I want the job more than anything. There‟s just….” He swallowed again, fidgeted, and then blushed. At twenty-seven he was pretty much over the whole blushing thing or so he had thought, but no. “Aye?” Seamus had asked and raised a brow at his stuttering. “I‟m… there‟s something you need to know… about me. Before you hire me for anything more than a stable hand.” Jack had forced the words out and then cleared his throat when all he got was silence. He looked back at Seamus and forced the rest of his confession out, “I‟m gay.” “Oh…,” Seamus said, and Greg looked away. Jack tried to figure out what it was Seamus was thinking, but couldn‟t really come to any conclusions. Then all of sudden a huge grin was back on Seamus‟s face, and he laughed heartily, much to Jack‟s surprise and shock. “That certainly explains the last three years. I mean you never seem to be quite as lively as when the carnival is in town. And I happen to know that a certain blond plays on your team.” Then Seamus had laughed even more, and Jack had blushed beetroot red. Even Greg had chuckled under his breath. Had he been that transparent? His first year at the ranch had been okay, but when the carnival came into town
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 7 and he had gone to the bar with the ranch hands, he had met Peter. Now Peter was nothing like Jack. He was a sixfoot-two blond god. A god with piercings and tattoos and a lanky body with lean muscles and the most erotic voice Jack had ever heard. Yeah, he had fallen hard and fast and spent three nights in Peter‟s trailer, having the time of his life. That was how it went from there on—every year, for three or four nights at the end of July, the carnival came in. Jack would sneak away from Three R and get fucked into oblivion by the gorgeous Peter. “Eh… yeah…,” he had mumbled, and after a moment Seamus had gotten more serious again. “You gotta know that it makes no difference to me. Hell, I have a nephew who‟s gay, and I never had any problem with that. I mean I might have been raised as a Catholic, but it‟s my folks‟ beliefs, not mine,” Seamus had said. “So you want the job or not?” “Hell yes!” Jack had grinned. They had shaken on it. And that had been it. “Oh, if you ever have any trouble with anyone on the ranch, you come straight to me, you hear? It‟s not something I‟ll tolerate. Just like I don‟t tolerate any sort of racism,” Seamus had said very, very seriously before leaving the gatehouse again. The next morning the trio—Jackson, Greg and Seamus—were at the main barn when the ranch hands came to get the horses for their tasks around the ranch. It didn‟t seem to surprise anyone. Nobody was against Jack‟s new position. Some of the older guys even told him they‟d know where to start looking for broodmares, and he got
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 8 congratulated a lot. Then the little crowd dispersed, and he was left alone in his new kingdom. “Jack‟s Barn” came along that same year, a few months later. They renovated the empty part of the old barn and made it fit for mares and foals. Everything was top of the line, and the old main barn got touched up too. When everything was done, Jack hired two people, with Seamus‟s approval, to help with the barn duties part-time. That made Jack able to work more on the mares and the research he needed to do to find every mare the perfect counterpart stallion to produce the best possible foals. Now, seven years later, the business was flourishing. They had seven mares and two stallions of their own. Not that many really, but the quality was what they were looking for and every year their yearlings were auctioned in the next big city for top dollar. Nobody was complaining. The cattle were still the main moneymaker of the ranch, but Jack and his horses weren‟t doing badly either. It was something he took pride in. After all, before coming to the Triple R, he had been told he‟d never be anything good, nothing but a nogood faggot who deserved everything bad that would happen to him. Yeah, it hadn‟t been pleasant back home just before he left. This year was special, though. Stella, Jack‟s favorite mare, was in foal, and this foal was different. It was a mix, for one. They usually only bred quarter horses, but this foal‟s sire was a thoroughbred. The second difference was that it wasn‟t just any foal, it was Jack‟s foal. Until now he hadn‟t had a horse of his own. He didn‟t seem to be able to make that special connection to any of the horses in either barn. There were plenty to choose from, but
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 9 no. He was picky, and he got teased over it. Sure he had a few he preferred over the others if he had to go riding for something, but not one he loved. Maybe it was sentimental, at least a couple of the ranch hands thought so, to want a deeper connection with a horse like that. Usually he rode Red, a big quarter gelding that was fine, but a bit of a bore most of the time. He only got excited when he got to race after cattle, and Jack really wanted his horse to have a bit more spark than that. He hoped this foal would be it. His horse. At least it had all the theoretical chances of being it. He was hoping for a filly, but had a feeling that it was a colt. A filly would have been easier to train, but then again colts were more straightforward types. No matter what people said, stallions were Jackson‟s favorite kind of horses. If you let them run you over, they would do just that, but if you treated them fairly and didn‟t isolate them from other horses, they were great. It didn‟t mean he wanted a stallion for himself, though. Then again, he could handle one, and it could always be gelded later. The closer the due date came, the antsier he got. That day was easier for some reason. He was in a better mood, at least for now. It lasted until he was taking Romeo, Seamus‟s favorite mutt of a horse, out of the paddock. The gelding tried to run through the gate, squishing Jack against the fence post and knocking the air out of him. Luckily he was so used to all this that he would probably be dead before letting go of the lead rope. Romeo was always alone in the paddock. He was too cranky and territorial for other horses to be around him,
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 10 so there was no harm letting the gate open as he staggered a few steps after the massive gelding. “Sonofabitch…,” he wheezed. As soon as he got air into his lungs, he rose to his full height and yanked the lead rope so sharply the horse jerked toward him, eyes wide and body language betraying its shock. If Jack was anything, he was just. He never hit the horses, never raised his voice unless necessary. Sometimes the animals thought they could walk over him, but it took very little to get them back in line again. There was a natural aura about Jack that made it possible for him to make the horses, and humans alike mostly, not that he noticed, do exactly as he said with as little fuss as possible. “What the hell were you thinking, you moron?” he hissed at the gelding that looked at him in a way that would have told anyone the horse was feeling sheepish. He ignored the gelding, the best punishment for this particular animal, and walked toward the barn doors. The lead rope was loose, swinging between his hand and Romeo‟s halter, all the way into the middle of the barn aisle where he tied the horse from both sides and left it there to rot for a moment. Jack walked into the mares‟ barn and got Stella out. Had she been able, she would have hissed at Romeo when Jack walked her past the gelding‟s head. “Seriously, girl?” he mumbled and went to put her into the now empty paddock closest to the barn doors. He needed to be able to look after her and get her inside as soon as possible if she happened to go into labor. He was brushing Romeo, now content and relaxed after realizing he wasn‟t being abandoned forever, when Seamus
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 11 walked into the stable. Romeo let out a soft neigh, and the big man chuckled. “Morning to you, too, Romeo. Jack.” He nodded and went to get Romeo‟s saddle and bridle from the tack room. “Anything special going on around here today?” Jackson asked when the boss came back with the tack. “Nope, nothing I can think. Well, one thing,” Seamus said, and Jack raised a brow at him. “We‟re getting a ranch farrier.” “Oh?” Jack asked, trying to keep the doubt out of his tone. A few others had come in over the years and worked as the ranch farrier and/or blacksmith. They lasted a while, but nobody quite fit for some reason. The last one they‟d had was just fine during the weeks, but when the weekend came, he went out with the ranch hands and got drunk. That would‟ve been just fine, if he hadn‟t been hung over until Tuesday, just to start over again on Friday. Needless to say, the horses and the work were pretty much neglected during the weekends. A month later, he had been kindly laid off, and they‟d been without a farrier since. “Aye, a nephew of mine. He‟s young, but very good with the horses, and he‟s been apprenticing and taking courses from a blacksmith back in Scotland before he came to the States. He‟s been here for four years now, very bright lad, and he‟s worked all around.” Seamus gestured with his hand before swinging the saddle on the horse. “Oh….” Jack was feeling very eloquent today, not that it was new. “So don‟t worry. Blair is a good lad. You‟ll do fine with him around,” Seamus said. “He‟ll be here tomorrow or the day after.”
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 12 Jackson watched as the boss walked his horse out of the barn, mounted it, and rode off. He didn‟t know which nephew Blair was. Seamus had a traditional Catholic family, a huge one, both back in Scotland and in the States. There were about two dozen nieces and nephews. Jack had met a few, and all of them had been tall, robust people. He just hoped that this guy would be okay, good at his job, and easy to work with. He knew two of Seamus‟s older sisters had moved back to the UK at some point, so the guy had to be one of their kids. If he had done apprenticeship and been working for years, maybe he was in his late twenties? That wouldn‟t be too bad. Jackson was thirty-five now, and even though Seamus was only fifteen years older than him and Meredith ten years, he often felt like he was the son Seamus and Mer never had. Not because he got babied, because that wasn‟t the case. It was more about the fact that he was the youngest guy who had worked on the ranch more than a couple of years. Even the older ranch hands treated him a bit like a son sometimes. It was all good. He still had his independence around the barns and all, but it could get on his nerves too. Sometimes he wished he had enough time to learn more than just the basics of shoeing a horse. He could keep them all in shoe, make sure they were okay and all, just like quite a few of the other guys around the ranch could. It was a basic thing, really. You learned something when you worked on horseback more than when you walked around. Kind of like learning to change a tire on your car if you spent most of your day in it—it made sense and came more or less naturally.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 13 It was just that Jack never had time to learn because there was always something else coming up. And, so far, they‟d had Everett, the town farrier, who could take a look if something was amiss worse than usual, like Monday‟s appointment. Jack wondered why this new guy—Blair, was it?—couldn‟t take care of Lucky and Tessa, as he‟d arrive a full two days before Everett had a chance to get to them. He figured he‟d find out tomorrow. When they renovated the barns, they added a loft to the part where the mares would be. It really wasn‟t much, just a space with a little kitchenette, a bedroom, and a little bathroom, with the living room area taking most of the space. The idea was to have Jack living there with an unobstructed view of the mares‟ barn. The wall on the barn‟s side was glass above waist level, which meant he could see the horses below. It made things so much easier for him, and well, it was just perfect anyway. He liked his privacy, and now that he had his own place, whenever Peter came to town, he could come to the ranch instead of Jack going back to his trailer. Yeah, he was pretty much openly gay now. Some people tried to pour their prejudiced crap on him when he had to go to town, but it wasn‟t often and at home he was left alone. Nobody wanted to face the wrath of the big boss man, so they were okay. Besides, it was probably easy to ignore the whole issue, as there weren‟t any hookups or boyfriends. For the last ten years, Jack had gotten laid only during the nights Peter was in town. Sure the quantity was huge, he was bowlegged for days after the carnival left and got all the ribbing possible from the guys at the ranch, but it was still
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 14 just a few nights. So no, he had no sex life, thus the issue just not being there. It went as far as to when he was being especially cranky or snapped at people, someone would occasionally say something like “it‟s time for the carnival to get into town,” meaning that he should get laid sooner rather than later to loosen up a bit. It was four more months now. Well, actually it was three months and twenty-three days, but who was counting? Of course there was talk, in the quiet hours after they had satisfied their urges, words about Peter settling down eventually. The hint of settling down with Jack was there some years but not every year, and certainly not often enough for Jack to believe that would ever happen, but the wistfulness was there in the blond‟s tone anyway. That evening Jack was having his dinner upstairs, watching some TV while doing so, and chilling out when a sound from below alerted him. A neigh, to be exact, and not one of those normal ones. He knew that sound anywhere. A mare in labor. He shoveled the rest of his lasagna into his mouth and jogged down the stairs and into the barn. He was right. Stella was getting restless. Jack dug his cell from his pocket and pressed two to speed-dial their vet. “Michelle?” he said as soon as she answered. “Yes?” “It‟s Jack from Three R.” “Oh, hey, Jack. It‟s time?” the cheerful sounding middleaged woman asked. “Yeah, looks like it,” Jack replied, opening the stable door and stepping in.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 15 “I‟ll keep you in mind. Text me if it goes okay. If something looks to be wrong, don‟t hesitate to call me, okay? I know what this foal means to you,” Dr. Michelle Hunter said in a compassionate tone. “Yeah, yeah… okay. Bye.” Jack nodded even if she couldn‟t see him and tried to breathe. It wasn‟t always like this. He was never this nervous, and he hoped to calm down before the mare would pick up on his nervous energy. Michelle, or “Chelle,” was their regular vet, someone very good with horses and cattle alike. She was a friend too. He even went to get drinks with her sometimes in town. Michelle had told him to do this in the first place, to get the horse he wanted, finally. She had been right. He just hoped everything went okay, and the foal would be what he had been expecting. It turned out to be a long, long evening, then night. Just when he was finally about to call Chelle again, the mare settled down and began to push. It took less than fifteen minutes for her to push out the foal, and it was almost immediately kicking, and snorting, and trying to get on its wobbly feet. Jack sat there in the corner of the stall, silently watching the miracle of life in front of him. He took out his phone and sent a text to Chelle: “Black colt. Everything OK.” “Well, isn‟t he a bonny lad?” a deep voice asked quietly from outside the stall, making Jack grin tiredly. “He really is,” he agreed and got up, looking at a beaming Seamus. “Stella looks okay?” he asked, and Jack nodded. “Yeah, she‟s fine. The foal came out really fast when she finally got to it. Took all night to get there, though,” Jack said and then yawned widely.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 16 “I called Callie. She‟s coming to do the morning stuff and will keep an eye on these two as well. You need to rest. It‟s already four in the morning, and when I saw the light on in here, I guessed this was happening,” Seamus said quietly, and Jack nodded. There was no reason to deny that he was beat. “I feel so fucking old… even five years back, these late nights did nothing to me, but now I feel like a zombie.” “Trust me, when you get to fifty, you‟ll be missing thirtyfive.” Seamus grinned. “Hey, why don‟t you go upstairs and get some sleep? I‟ll finish up here.” “Okay.” Jack yawned again and his jaw popped. “Hell…,” he muttered as he staggered toward the stairs. He was barely out of his boots and jeans before he collapsed in his comfortable bed.
HE WOKE up and felt weird. Something wasn‟t right. A quick look around proved that he was correct. It was daytime, and he was just waking up. What the hell? There was no time to panic, though, because as soon as he got up, he remembered the night before and the boss‟s orders to get to bed. With a huge grin on his face, he walked into the kitchenette to put the coffee maker on. The clock on the microwave told him it was already past noon. He couldn‟t remember the last time he slept so much, but it felt good. While the coffee was brewing, he went to take a shower and got dressed again. The weather was warm and sunny, a normal early June day it seemed, so he opted for ragged jeans and a tank. He‟d be getting dirty and sweaty, so why
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 17 not minimize the clothing that needed to be washed afterward? Which reminded him, he really needed to get some laundry done. Jackson walked to the living room and pulled on his boots. One of the things the other guys thought funny—he always wore steel-toed combat boots. He was so not a cowboy-boots-kind of guy. They just weren‟t something he liked to wear. So combat boots it was, all year round. Well, except when he went riding to the river to let the horses swim. Then he wore flip flops or no shoes at all. After he was done with the boots, he mixed himself a mug of coffee—two parts strong coffee, one part milk—and went to look down to see what was going on in the stable. All the horses were out, except Stella and the foal. He figured Callie, one of his half-time stable hands, had thought he‟d want to let them out himself after he took a look at the foal again. She had been right. He looked down and smiled as he sipped his caffeine. The foal looked perky even from up there. It would most likely be a spirited little fellow, and he‟d have his hands full in no time. Just as he was about to turn away from the window to get more coffee, he saw someone approach the stall where Stella and the little colt were. What the…? He didn‟t know who this guy was, but hell, if he was going anywhere near his horse! Jack left the empty mug on the end table and rushed down the stairs. When he got to the stall, the door was open, and the guy was crouching on the barn aisle, reaching a hand into the stall. “Oi! What the hell are you doing?” Jack called to the guy who nearly toppled over, spooked.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 18 “Oh shit, you almost gave me a heart attack,” the man drawled and got to his feet, not turning to look at Jack. Instead he cooed into the stall, “Don‟t worry, little guy, nothing to be scared of. I‟m just gonna close the door now, okay?” And then he did just as he had told the colt, closed the door, made sure the hatch was closed, too, and turned to look at Jackson. The man wasn‟t as tall as Seamus, but Jackson immediately noticed the similarity in the features. This must be the nephew. He was maybe four inches taller than Jack with dark brown hair with a strange red tint to it. The eyes were surprisingly blue and the expression amused. It pissed Jack off. “You‟re so territorial. You must be Jackson,” the guy stated and offered a hand. Jack didn‟t take it. “You have the accent, so you must be….” He tried to dig out the name from his memory with no particular success. “Blair Donovan, Seamus‟s nephew,” the man said and pulled his hand back. “The new farrier,” he added, straightening his posture enough to look proud. “I‟d rather not have people opening the door and trying to mess with the foal until I‟ve had some time with him. I‟d like to be his first contact, the human he knows is his.” That was the best way he could explain it, and it sucked. Then it sucked some more when Blair looked at him with a hint of something like hurt in his eyes. “Okay then. I‟ll make a mental note of being „people‟.”
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 19 “I meant….” Jack tried to patch it a bit. It wasn‟t the farrier‟s fault he was a bit overprotective and too enthusiastic about the new life in the stall beside them. “I know what you meant. I‟m the new guy, should know my place, and all that. Been there, done that, don‟t worry. I‟ll stay away from your horse,” and you, the tone seemed to suggest, and then Blair was already marching out of Jack‟s Barn and into the main one. Jack stood there, thinking. He wouldn‟t chase after the guy, despite how nice that jeans-clad ass looked or how the ink peeking out from the arm of Blair‟s T-shirt intrigued him. It was clearly time for the carnival to get into town. Jack shook his head at himself when he opened the hatch and the door. He didn‟t stay on the aisle, though. He went inside and sat with his back against the wall. Stella was calm and eating her hay. The little colt was curious about Jack but scared too. “Come on, baby boy… that‟s it, come closer. I won‟t hurt you, see? Your momma there is all sorts of relaxed now that you‟re out. She was a right bitch when you were still in her belly. Yeah, that‟s it.” He kept speaking to the all-legs foal in a quiet, calm, and deep voice. It seemed to do the trick, because after a while the animal took a few steps and touched Jack‟s fingers shyly with his muzzle. “We need to figure out a name for you… something starting with S, like your mom. Let‟s see… you‟re black and all pretty-like. You‟ll be a handsome lad one day.” At the sound of Jack‟s voice, the foal jumped back a bit, and Jack smiled. They were all so silly when young. “Okay, so… how about… Sirius? Yes, I‟ve read those books. What else am I to do around here but read? It‟s not like I‟m getting laid or
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 20 anything,” he grumbled, and the foal seemed to agree with him, because it came closer and touched his hand again. “Let‟s get you and your momma out, okay? You seem to be steady enough on your feet. An hour won‟t be too much for you,” he said and got up slowly, making the foal back away behind the mare. Jack opened the door and grabbed the lead from the hook outside. The mare was very enthusiastic about getting out, but it kept an eye on the foal and walked calmly to the paddock gate. Once they were in, the foal scared out of its mind and leaning to its mother‟s hind legs, Jack closed the gate and left them there. He watched them for a moment and then went to work inside the stable. The rest of the day went fine, normal. Toward the evening when the ranch hands began to return the horses for the night, he heard murmuring about a barbecue party at the house. It wasn‟t a big deal. It wasn‟t that unusual to have a barbecue thing when someone came to visit the owners. Besides, it was Friday, and the guys would be heading to town later anyway. “Hey, Jack, will you come to the house with us?” Tommy, one of the newest ranch hands, hired as summer help, asked him as he took the saddle off Lizzy, the horse he had been riding that day. “Yeah, might as well. Don‟t really have anything prepared at the loft I could eat, so it‟s either barbecue or cook, and I so don‟t want to cook tonight.” He grinned at the young man who smiled back. Sometimes the new guys related to him for some reason, maybe because he wasn‟t joking and teasing them but was more like the strong silent type.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 21 “Okay, good. The boss still intimidates me a bit,” Tommy confessed, and Jack chuckled. “He‟s a good guy. Don‟t worry. As long as you don‟t fuck up too badly, you‟ll be fine,” he said, knowing it wouldn‟t do anything to Tommy‟s nerves to hear that. But it was the truth. “See ya there. They said at seven or so,” Tommy said when he got Lizzy to her stall. “See ya,” Jack agreed and made sure everything was okay, before he went to check on Stella and Sirius again. He had gotten a lot of compliments about the foal all day. Everyone seemed to have gone to take a peek, and he didn‟t mind. As long as nobody tried to touch the little guy, he was fine with it. They knew already what to do and not to do in Jack‟s Barn so it was all good. There was no being loud, or running, or smoking anywhere near the horses. The cowboys respected him and his rules enough to obey. When seven o‟clock rolled around, he walked toward the main house. It was situated a bit farther off the barns and gatehouse so that both were closer to the long, winding driveway. The walk was nice. The evening was getting a bit cooler, and he liked the sounds and smells around him. The cattle around the back of one of the barns on the other side of the ranch yard were mooing every now and then, and the dogs were mostly calm at this time, but there was soft music drifting from behind the house where Meredith‟s garden was. He knew that Meredith and Seamus had had great big plans for the garden once. When they first met and fell in love, it was like lightning had struck the ranch. Suddenly the boss was always happy and smiling. There was a woman in the house who not only cleaned and cooked, but she made
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 22 sure the men working around the ranch were well fed too. It was nice, really, despite Meredith being young enough to be everyone‟s sister instead of a real mother figure. The guys, despite the grumbling, enjoyed the invites to the barbecueparties and blushed when each of them got a cake from Meredith for their birthday. Thanksgivings and Christmases were different after Meredith and Seamus got married too. There was a big dinner for those who stayed on the ranch and everyone felt the warmth. What most of them didn‟t know, or didn‟t acknowledge, was that for years the couple tried to have a child together. Because Jackson was closer to Seamus than most of the other men, he was often the person who either the boss or even his wife came to talk to when they needed a set of ears nearby. Not that Jack had anything good or groundbreaking to say. Hell no. He was just a poorly educated cowboy who hadn‟t done much of anything but tinker around horses all his life. With matters of the heart and families, he was a total novice. He had learned early how important friends were, so that was something he could be. After four years of trying to conceive and different methods of helping things along, being poked and prodded and suffering two miscarriages, the couple decided to stop. Actually it was Seamus who made them stop, or so he told Jack later. He said he couldn‟t see his vibrant wife turn into someone so concentrated on trying to have a child, even she herself tried to turn into some sort of a machine instead of being a woman. It seemed like the doctors and specialists they saw were often cold and didn‟t understand Meredith at all, and it was taking its toll on her self-worth.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 23 After they stopped trying, things went back to how they had been before. Most of the ranch hands didn‟t even realize something had been wrong, but they noticed both Meredith and Seamus‟s moods and how they shifted daily or, more likely, monthly. When things calmed down and the resignation gave room to moving on with their lives, they began to talk about adopting or fostering kids who needed a family. So far they hadn‟t done anything about either, somehow life on the ranch had fallen into a pattern, and Meredith was mostly back to her old self. That didn‟t mean that she wasn‟t still looking at the garden wistfully sometimes, when she thought nobody was watching. There had been a plan for a tree house with a swing set and all that. Now there was a large firepit and a grill with picnic tables and lanterns hanging from trees, the perfect place for a party for adults. Following the music, Jack soon caught a whiff of hamburgers and peppers being grilled. Damn, he was hungry. He had only grabbed a bite when he went to get more coffee that afternoon, and it was all catching up to him now. “Hey, Jack, come sit here!” Meredith called from the group of chairs around a little table near the grill Seamus was handling. “Hello,” Jack nodded at everyone around the table. There was Meredith, her sister Savannah, who lived in town but often visited as she had a crush on one of the ranch hands, and Blair. Great. Everyone greeted him, Blair included, and he plopped down on the chair farthest away from the farrier. The evening progressed as usual. Beer was consumed, but not by
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 24 Jack, as he didn‟t drink; food was eaten, a lot by Jack because it was good and he was hungry; and there was plenty of chatting, to which Jack mostly just listened. “So Blair, tell us a bit about yourself,” some of the ranch hands asked, and the brunet turned to grin at the guys that sat around the firepit. “Well, I‟m twenty-five. I‟ve been in the states for about four years now, and I‟m a blacksmith. And a Gemini,” the newcomer said with a smirk, and there was a bout of laughter. “We‟re not sure if we can handle more Geminis around here!” someone said and even Seamus snorted. He was a known Gemini. Meredith was into that stuff so she made a big deal out of it. Eventually the talk turned toward the new foal, and Jack was dragged into the conversation. Quite a few people added their opinions and questions to the conversation, speculating and pondering out loud. Some of the guys told Jack they hoped the little fellow finally would be the horse Jack had been looking for. It was mostly okay, until someone asked Blair if he had seen the foal yet, and the answer was vague enough to make someone else pay attention. “What? Was Jack playing Lord of the Barn again?” asked one of the older ranch hands who liked Jack enough not to be in his face most of the time, but who, nevertheless, liked to jab him every now and then. “Something like that, yeah,” Blair said and left it at that. “Looks like it‟s carnival time again,” Rick said with a grin, and there was another bout of laughter all around.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 25 “What does that mean?” Blair asked, and there was more laughter. Just as Seamus opened his mouth to scold the guys, Jack got to his feet and walked around the house, back toward the stables. It wasn‟t fucking funny! So what if he was the only gay guy at the ranch and probably in the whole town. Well, the only openly gay guy at least. He didn‟t make fun of the straight guys who weren‟t getting laid regularly, so what gave them the right—? “Jackson, wait up!” called a voice from behind him, accompanied by fast-approaching steps. He didn‟t slow down, but Blair caught up with him anyway and began to walk next to him, falling into step with him easily. “I‟m sorry, okay? I didn‟t know. I was just curious,” Blair pleaded. “Yeah, you seem to be good at that, sticking your nose where it doesn‟t belong,” Jack grumbled. “True,” the younger man chuckled, “but I told them it was none of their business, and if I had to resort to once-ayear stuff with a guy, I‟d be uptight too.” Jack did a double take. “W-what?” Did he just hear right? “I‟m gay. They know now, and I think there will be more teasing, but I don‟t care.” Blair shrugged, and Jack gawked at him. They had stopped next to the barn doors. He didn‟t have a clue what to say. “Look, you‟re hot. I haven‟t had any in a while either, so if you need help in that department…,” Blair said and smiled
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 26 a little. A genuine smile, not one meant to make Jack feel embarrassed, but it did. “I… erm…,” he mumbled. He was so not used to someone propositioning him like this. Saying Jack was hot…. It wasn‟t funny. It was terrifying. Suddenly Jack was fidgeting, running his fingers through his hair, and shuffling his feet. “You don‟t have to say anything now, but I wanted you to know. They‟re going to expect us to hook up anyway, so why not do it for real?” Blair asked, his expression slightly cheeky and all innocent at the same time. It looked good on him. “I… don‟t really… I mean…,” Jack stuttered. He had no idea what to say, none whatsoever. “If you‟re not attracted to me, I get it.” The younger man raised his hands and looked a bit hurt, again. Damn it. “No, no… not that… you‟re hot and all….” Jack tried to salvage the situation. It also seemed like his body knew what it wanted to do even if his brain was scrambling around in the dark. “Okay, so let me know. I gotta head back there, despite the ribbing I‟ll get.” Blair grinned and gave a little wave before jogging back toward the house. What the hell just happened? Jackson thought as he walked into the barn and went to check on the horses one last time before bedtime. He spent a little time with every horse inside, rubbing their noses and giving them pieces of carrot he had grabbed automatically from the bag in the tack room. As usual it calmed his mind to be surrounded by the familiar sounds and the scent of the horses. Everything was
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 27 fine, so after saying good night to Sirius and Stella, he walked up the stairs and went to bed. Alone as usual.
THE next week or so was strange. The guys were snickering at him occasionally, which was expected. Nothing new there. What he couldn‟t quite get a hang of was the strange way Blair was making him feel. It was like he felt the younger man approach. Whenever they were in the same part of the ranch yard, Jack would know without looking. When he looked was when the real trouble started. The offer still hung in the air, and the longer he spent around the barns with Blair—always somewhere where he could see the man from the corner of his eye—the less the “buts” of the whole idea mattered. So what if Blair was ten years younger? So what if he was the boss‟s family? So what if he was totally out of Jack‟s league? So what if the guys would never stop snickering at them? And Jack was getting hornier and hornier with each passing day. Or hour, if he was completely honest. Blair‟s casual, laid-back attitude and extreme work ethics weren‟t bad things, either. The man was a walking temptation. The eyes that seemed to smile every time they caught Jack‟s gaze, the delectable body, the deep, gorgeous laughter…. Jackson was in so much trouble. It all culminated about two weeks after Blair‟s arrival. The day was hot, and Jack was already contemplating just picking a horse and riding to the river, before he was halfway done with mucking the stalls. That‟s when the whistling started, and he knew Blair was close. The sounds from the main barn indicated a shoeing, and he tried to concentrate
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 28 on his own job. It was possible until he heard some cursing and then chuckling. “What the hell have you found to roll in, girl? You smell disgusting, and now it‟s on me too,” Blair said to the horse. “We better hose you down before Rick comes to get you.” The sound of the hose going on and the horse moving drew him to the doorway between the barns. He looked at the younger man washing the horse. Just as Blair was rounding the animal, it decided to swish its tail, and the wet tail smacked across Blair‟s body. “Oh, for fuck‟s sake!” Blair cursed and then mumbled something in Gaelic. So maybe Jack had gotten used to the Scottish accent that had made him half-hard when he first heard Seamus talk. Now it did nothing to him, even though he still found the accent sexy on anyone else but his boss. However, when Blair spoke, it was a whole different deal. Add Gaelic to the mix and he wasn‟t just half-hard. There was nothing half about it. Blair rubbed most of the water off the horse with a towel and then took it to its stall to dry. He hadn‟t noticed Jack yet, and Jack had no intention of revealing himself. That worked until Blair walked back to the wash stall, still smiling to himself, and whipped off the T-shirt he had been wearing. The muscles underneath were mouthwatering. The Scot had well-defined arms. That much Jackson had already known. The pecs and abs, not too obvious but clearly the type you got from actually working with those muscles, begged to be touched. It was clear that the bronze tint on Blair‟s skin came from working in the sun, and the ink scattered along
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 29 his back and upper arms…. Hell, this boy gave Peter a run for his money. Jack swallowed and tried to pull himself from the doorway. When Blair took the hose, turned the water on, and sprayed his hair and torso with it, Jack couldn‟t help but moan. The droplets running along the perfect physique were driving him crazy. He was practically panting, and instead of moving away, he found himself leaning against the door frame. His hand went, without his consent, to adjust the now painful erection in his jeans. That‟s when Blair looked up and noticed him. The smirk on the younger man‟s lips was suggestive. The brat even licked his lips. “Just gonna stand there?” Blair asked, and Jack did the only thing he could. He turned around and practically ran up the stairs to his loft. Running away from Blair turned out to be a bad idea, again. The steps stomping up the stairs were determined, much as he knew Blair would be. Enough stalling, enough not commenting on the more or less subtle flirting. The younger man looking at him from the top of the stairs had an expression that was outright predatory. No words were spoken. When Jack didn‟t flee—he had nowhere to go after all—Blair took the few steps between them and, before Jackson could react, he was pressed against the closest wall. He cursed at his submissive nature in sexual situations. As soon as Blair took control, he was gone. “You giving in yet?” Blair growled into his ear, and Jack heard a groan he realized was coming from his own throat. He just nodded, and then Blair‟s frantic hands were stripping off his tank top and pressing their chests together. It was fast and dirty, they fumbled with buttons and zippers,
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 30 chuckling when they realized the other was going commando too. The best part was the fingers wrapping around erections, moans into each other‟s mouths, frantic jerking movements as they rubbed each other while kissing in a sloppy, hasty way. He felt like a teenager, getting and receiving his first hand job in a locker room after practice or something. It was stupid and sinful and so fucking good. Blair came first, his cock jumping in Jack‟s hand and the wet warmth spreading against his fingers and stomach. The way Blair‟s head dropped to Jack‟s shoulder as he whimpered, pushed Jack over the magical line, and he came by someone else‟s hand for the first time in almost a year. His knees would have buckled had Blair not made sure he stayed upright. “Jesus,” Jack gasped as soon as he could muster the word out. “I‟d say.” Blair chuckled huskily. He had been dirty and sweaty already, now he was covered in cum and the air conditioning in the loft made him shiver. “We need to clean up,” Jack said and Blair leaned back to give him room to move. They wobbled in the not-so-mildly awkward way you do when you‟re trying to hold your jeans up with the hand that is still clean and while making sure the fabric doesn‟t touch the drying cum on your stomach. In the bathroom they cleaned up quickly and efficiently, not talking. Jack was beginning to feel remorse. He had no idea why he‟d feel like that. He just did. It wasn‟t like he was in a monogamous relationship with Peter. After all they saw each other once a year for a few days, and he was sure Peter had other cowboys in other cities on the carnival‟s route.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 31 Still, Peter was the only man he had had any kind of sex with in the last decade. He must have sighed or something, despite trying to hide his thoughts and discomfort from the younger man. “What is it?” Blair asked finally when they were done with the quick-cleaning operation. “It‟s… difficult,” was all Jack could say. “This about the carnival guy?” Blair asked as he made his way through the living room and toward the door in a way that told Jack he was hurt by the sudden coldness of Jack‟s actions. “Sort of.” He was never a talker, always a listener, and in situations like these he had no idea what to say, even less than the usual. “Fine,” Blair snapped and left the loft without another word. Jack sat down on the couch and tried to figure out what the hell he should do next. It was insane, trying to keep in a quasi-relationship with someone like Peter, who frankly wasn‟t relationship material and never would be. It wasn‟t like Jack had had opportunities before, so now that he had, he was at loss, had no idea of how to make this work. He punched the couch cushion and scowled. Deciding he needed more time to think, he went to the shower and cleaned up properly. When Jack was finally done with the all-too meticulous cleaning, he got dressed a bit resignedly and headed back downstairs. He was just about to resume mucking the stables when someone walked in. The way his heart lurched at the thought of Blair coming back was overridden by the
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 32 disappointment when Seamus‟s tall figure appeared in the doorway between the barns. “What, not the right Scot for ya?” the man asked, walking closer to the stall Jack was mucking. He didn‟t know what to say, but he supposed the blush told Seamus more than any words could. “Jackson… I know about this thing going on between you and Blair. It‟s not hard to see when I know both of you,” the boss said and scratched the back of his neck, clearly trying to choose his words carefully. “Seamus, I‟m—” “No, you don‟t get to say you‟re sorry,” Seamus snapped, and for a moment Jack thought the man was truly pissed off at him. “You don‟t get to say you‟re sorry because you‟re almost happy for the first time since you walked into my house. You certainly don‟t get to say you‟re sorry for being interested in my nephew. It‟s not been easy for him either, you know. Not in our family.” Seamus sighed and looked away from Jack. “O-okay,” Jack managed and gave up the pretense of working. Apparently there was no working. There was talking. “You know you‟re like a baby brother to me, Jack, right?” Seamus turned his gaze back to his foreman. Jack nodded, unable to say anything. Despite how close they really were, no such words had been spoken before. “I want you to be happy and… and Peter—I don‟t know if he can ever give you what you really need. So if you decide that you want to pursue Blair, or rather give in to him pursuing you,” Seamus chuckled, “then go ahead. Both me
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 33 and Mer would be happy. Don‟t mind the other guys. They‟ll see soon enough it isn‟t just two gay guys put together. They‟ll see what I‟ve already seen.” And with that, Seamus walked out of the barn again, leaving Jack staring after him. It took him a while to gather his thoughts enough to be able to finish his work for the day. After he was done, he went to sit with Sirius and Stella at their paddock to get something else to think about. The colt was tired and mellow for once, something Jackson‟s busy mind could appreciate.
THE next day he didn‟t see Blair at all, and Tommy told him he had gone with the ranch hands to fix fences and gates around the ranch. Somehow the younger man managed to avoid Jack even when he knew what to say. The next morning he didn‟t want to let Blair sneak off with the guys again, so he was waiting in the main barn when the lot of them came from the gatehouse after breakfast. “Blair, a word,” he commanded, didn‟t ask, when the younger man stepped into the barn with Tommy, Rick, and some others. He could care less about the few cat calls by then. The only reaction the guys got was a glare that shut them up for once. Blair did as he was told, which sort of surprised Jackson a little bit. He walked to his side of the barn and waited by Stella and Sirius‟s stall. “What?” the Scot asked. “I‟ve been thinking,” Jack said, and Blair snorted a bit, avoiding his eyes. “I‟m not scared about what the guys will think. It‟s more like… the situation with Peter has been going on for ten years, Blair. It‟s a long time, even if the days we‟ve
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 34 been together during that time are hardly more than a month total.” When the younger man didn‟t react, he continued, “It‟s not a relationship, but it‟s all I know, really. So it‟s—I can‟t do this as fast as you‟d like.” Jack sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “What are you saying?” Blair asked, his blue eyes looking at Jack hesitantly. “I‟m saying… let‟s get to know each other. We‟re not going anywhere anytime soon, so there‟s time. Let‟s… work this thing out somehow? Be friends first and see where it goes from there.” Jack tried to smile a little bit. Blair sighed, leaned against the stall door to peek over at the colt that was now looking at them without fear, waiting to get out into the morning. “Okay. We can do that. Let‟s do this slowly. Just… don‟t shut me out or compare me to anyone else.” Blair looked back at Jack, and his eyes were still carrying the hurt a little bit. Jack made a mental note to remember that he and Blair were very different. Where Jackson didn‟t jump into anything, Blair was a McRae—he knew when he‟d found “it”. Apparently this time it was Jackson Way. “Deal,” Jack said and Blair smiled, nodding a bit. “Fine, I‟ll see you later. I‟ll go fix a few more hinges, and I‟ll be back. We can start our project then.” Jack got a quick touch on his cheek before Blair walked away. Jack‟s cheek tingled pleasantly.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 35 FOR the next month or so they worked side by side at the stables. They became friends quickly, and everyone noticed how similar they were, even though Blair was much more lively and chatty. Underneath the young man‟s easygoing surface was someone who was a deep thinker and who had a lot of opinions about things close to Jack‟s heart. They actually talked a lot, about everything possible, and sometimes Blair‟s fair assessments about things surprised Jack. Like how Tommy was scared of Seamus, but not any of the other remotely tall males around the ranch, Blair himself included. Later, when Jack had a quiet talk with the young ranch hand, the kid confessed that his abusive father had a very similar voice to Seamus‟s. Jack took the issue to Seamus, who then took great care with making Tommy feel more like he belonged to the ranch, and in the course of the summer, Tommy relaxed a lot in the boss‟s company. Blair‟s intuition about people paid off more often than not. It wasn‟t something obvious that he did, but he seemed to make people talk to him easily. When Meredith‟s sister came by one day and seemed heartbroken, it was Blair who chatted with her and pulled out the truth about the ranch hand seeing someone else in town. The man had tried to keep it as a secret on the ranch, knowing that the rest of the “ranch family,” as Blair called them all collectively, would frown upon his actions. Again, later when Jack spoke to the man, he admitted that he was interested in Savannah, but terribly intimidated by her intellect, because she was in law school, and he was just a “stupid cowboy”. One day in June, Meredith walked into the stable where Jack and Blair were shoeing Romeo together. The
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 36 temperamental gelding was being an ass, and the men knew it would‟ve been much easier if Seamus had been there to calm the horse down. Seamus wasn‟t around, but at the cattle auction with Rick and Eli. “The moron giving you trouble?” she asked as she leaned into a stall door near where they were working. “You could say that,” Blair murmured, cussing up a storm in Gaelic when the horse yanked its hind leg out of his grasp for the umpteenth time. “Why don‟t you finish Romeo if you can and take the rest of the day off. Seamus said the back pasture is free and checked, so you could take Stella and Sirius there and maybe have a picnic or something?” Meredith suggested as she moved to stand so that Romeo‟s head was between her and Jack. She began to coo at the horse who, for some miraculous reason, actually listened to her and stopped struggling. “Sure. Don‟t know if I have anything for the picnic, though,” Jackson said thoughtfully and Meredith giggled a little. “How little faith you have in me,” she said and waited until Blair was done with the last hoof, before backing away from them. “I‟ll gather you some stuff to eat. You go get ready and I‟ll bring the basket for you.” With that, she was gone. “She‟s a powerhouse, isn‟t she?” Blair asked as he wiped sweat off his brow. “You ain‟t seen nothing yet,” Jack grinned and led Romeo back to his paddock. “Think I have enough time for a shower?” Blair was gathering his tools when Jack got back inside.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 37 “I was thinking about the same thing. You go shower at the house, and I‟ll go upstairs. Meet you here once we‟re done.” Fifteen minutes later Jack was dressed in cargo shorts and sandals, knowing that flip flops wouldn‟t do if he needed to run after the foal. He pulled on one of his ragged old Tshirts, then looked at himself in the mirror, and sighed. He wasn‟t tall. He wasn‟t particularly good-looking. What the hell did Blair see in him? His hair was a bit too long, the color resembling honey now that it was all burned by the sun. He didn‟t like hats because they tended to get bumped off his head by the horses at some point. His eyes were very light blue, and he supposed that was attractive to someone, but he didn‟t think so himself. Before he could begin to question himself, he pulled the ratty shirt off and picked up one of his few nicer ones, one of those he wore when he went out with Chelle. It was a nice green, and she had said it made him look good. At this point he would take all the help he could get. Jack stepped into the barn at the same time Blair was entering it from the other entrance, a picnic basket on his arm and a rolled-up blanket under the other. Jack chuckled at the sight. “She really is adamant that we have a good time,” he said and picked up a lead rope from the hook near the barn doors. “So, do we have a plan of action here? I don‟t even know what pasture she meant,” Blair said as they walked out back to get the horses from their paddock.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 38 “See that little path there?” Jack asked, pointing at a narrow, beaten path between the two last paddocks in the row. “Yeah… oh right. So that field back there is the pasture?” Blair asked while Jack went to get Stella. “Yes. It‟s fenced, and we usually only use it with mares and foals, but the other mares are all on the other side of the ranch in the river pastures, so it seems like Seamus is giving the back pasture to us.” Jack wasn‟t sure why. Maybe it was because the boss knew he wanted to keep Stella and Sirius nearby, but the five other foals and their moms had been taken to the other side. The one mare taking a break from foaling was going to join Stella and Sirius later to keep them company and help with socializing the foal. “You three lead the way. I‟ll dodge the black bullet here and carry the things,” Blair laughed when the inquisitive foal began to poke his nose into the basket and then spurted after its mother when she walked away with Jack. The walk wasn‟t long, but it took them some time, because the foal was doing what all little colts do: examining things bravely until his mother got too far away. Knowing that Blair had experience with horses, Jack let him do his thing. Blair kept his last spot in their little parade, waiting for the colt so that it wouldn‟t get scared or step on him while going after Stella and Jack. When they finally reached the back pasture gate, both humans and the mare were a bit tired of the bouncy little black colt that seemed to be still as full of energy as he ever was. When Jack opened the gate and led Stella inside, Sirius came with them easily enough. Blair closed the gate, and
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 39 Jack let the mare loose, swinging the rope in his hands toward the horse‟s hind legs. “Go on then, girl!” he encouraged the mare, who snorted and then trotted a few steps away from them. “Lazy old girl,” Jack muttered and turned to Blair. “Is there a good spot here somewhere? Some shade maybe?” Blair asked, looking to the back of the pasture. Jack took the basket from him after wrapping the lead rope around his own neck so that he wouldn‟t have to carry it. “Hmm…. There‟s that tree over there. I think there‟s enough shade under it, and it‟s high enough to give a nice view,” Jack said, pointing at the hill, and they began to walk toward it in a leisurely pace. The mare kept munching on the lovely green grass and the colt was torn between following the humans and staying close to his mother. When he finally decided, he bounced after Jack and Blair, almost running them over. Jack yelped and sidestepped, almost bumping into Blair who caught him instinctively, leaving them grasping each other‟s shirts for balance. If Jack had thought twenty-five was old enough to have gotten over the blushing—back when he came out to Seamus when getting this job—he had been wrong. Apparently, at thirty-five, he was still young enough to do it. Blair, however, just grinned at him knowingly and tightened his arm around Jack‟s waist for a second before stepping away from him again. They continued on their way and were soon spreading the blanket under the shade of the large tree, while Sirius ran circles around them and Stella, almost doing a figure eight
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 40 “Damn, he‟s one funny kid.” Blair chuckled when the foal suddenly tripped on his long legs and corrected his balance in the last second to avoid falling over. “He feels right,” Jack said quietly, looking thoughtfully over at the horses. “Seamus said something about you not connecting with other horses?” “Yeah, I don‟t really like any of the horses on the ranch that much. I mean there are a few I ride when I have to, but I‟m looking for something more… a personal connection, if you will,” Jack said thoughtfully, and Blair nodded, encouraging him to continue. “So it was Seamus and Michelle who told me to use Stella for this „project‟,” he said, grinning. “How did you pick the sire, then? I mean he doesn‟t look like a full quarter,” Blair said thoughtfully, looking at the colt that was slightly taller and less heavy than most quarter foals would be at this age. “Well, I know Stella. She‟s my favorite of the broodmares we have, so I picked a stallion that would possibly bring some fire into the mix. I mean Stella always behaves when she‟s not in foal. I like the spark some horses have, so I picked a thoroughbred stallion that I knew was a bit hotheaded.” Jack grinned and then laughed out loud when the colt jumped around like a bunny for a while. “So he‟ll also be bigger, then. That‟s kind of nice,” Blair stated. “He should be, yes. The stallion is sixteen hands high, one of the other reasons I picked him.”
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 41 “I have to say that so far things are looking up. He is a very promising little thing. You did good figuring out the right stallion for Stella.” Blair smiled while he watched the colt play. “Sirius is actually one of the few things I‟ve been proud of in my life,” Jackson said. Feeling a bit embarrassed at such a declaration, he ducked his head and opened the picnic basket. It turned out that Meredith had packed them plenty of water, fruit, and sandwiches, and some carrots for the horses too. “We better wait until we‟re done to give them to Stella. I doubt Sirius is interested yet, but he might taste it,” Jack said and set the carrots aside. “Yeah, we don‟t really want them to bug us while we eat.” Blair grinned, following Jack‟s thoughts perfectly. It was a lovely early afternoon, especially in the shade with birds serenading them. The colt got tired after getting some milk from Stella and lay down in the long grass somewhat between the humans and his mother. The only thing they could see was a stubby black tail flicking occasionally when flies tried to bug the sleeping colt. “What‟s your family like?” Jack asked quietly as he was pouring them both more iced tea from the Thermos. “My mum moved back to Scotland when she was twenty and had me the next year. My dad married her just before I was born so that‟s why I‟m Donovan, not McRae. They didn‟t last for long. I can barely remember my dad,” Blair said as quietly as Jack had asked the question. “Sorry about that,” Jack murmured.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 42 “Oh, no, it doesn‟t bother me to talk about it,” Blair said, smiling a bit, “there was still family around. My great aunt was like a grandma to me, and then, when I was about five, one of my aunts moved back, too, so by the time I was fifteen, there was a flock of cousins, and I never felt alone.” Blair‟s smile widened. “When did you become so… I don‟t know… straightforward?” Jack asked, smiling at Stella who had gotten her fill of hay and settled to stand next to Sirius‟s sleeping form, letting her head hang low as she slowly relaxed into an afternoon nap too. “I don‟t know, really. Must‟ve been my mum. She was always very blunt. When I first came out to her, the only thing she said was not to fish in the same lake with her.” Jack chuckled. It seemed so much better than anything his own family had done. “I‟m glad you have that with your mom,” he said and looked at Blair. “Yours don‟t care for gays?” Blair asked leaning just a bit closer, until their shoulders were touching. The silent support was comforting. “No,” Jack sighed and looked down at his lap. “You can choose when to tell me. It‟s not something I need to know,” Blair promised in a low tone, pressing a kiss on Jack‟s temple. In some ways it felt like Blair was the older one. Maybe he was the more experienced of the two of them. That wasn‟t something they had covered yet or even something Jack necessarily wanted to know. Only the present and the future
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 43 should matter. That was how he had lived until now, and it worked, mostly. “What‟s the tattoo on your back about?” Jack asked next. “I don‟t mean to be rude or anything. I know not everyone wants to be asked, but I like the picture.” He nearly blushed again when he realized he might have crossed an invisible boundary with the question. “It‟s a kelpie, a Celtic water horse,” Blair said almost too casually. Jack nodded and didn‟t push. There was a story behind the ink, he was sure of that. Blair wasn‟t one to not talk, and he suddenly seemed reluctant to tell more. Eventually their conversation died down and their meal had been eaten. Jack lay down on the blanket and closed his eyes. Nap time all around, it seemed. Blair settled down next to Jack, who felt a brush against his hand. With a small smile, he turned his hand palm up, and Blair slid his hand over it, entwining their fingers. They must have fallen asleep, because when Jack woke up, there was a curious-looking young face inches away from his own, and the mare wasn‟t far either. “Christ, Sirius!” Jack exhaled, and the colt snorted and danced away, looking awfully mischievous. Blair let go of his fingers, rubbed his face, and sat up, looking sleepy as ever. “What time is it?” Jack fished his cell phone from his pocket to check the time. “We slept almost two hours,” he said, before putting the phone away.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 44 “That‟s good. This is a very comfortable spot.” Blair grinned a bit, looking at Jack and brushing his fingers against Jack‟s cheek affectionately. Jack ducked his head a bit, this sort of shyness somehow very odd to him. He knew there was much more to this relationship with Blair than he had ever had with Peter. Sometimes it bothered him, sometimes not. Today he chose to enjoy it to the fullest. “Let‟s give them the carrots and head out before someone comes looking for us,” Blair said and again backed away enough to make Jack relax. Jack had been right. Sirius took a tiny piece of carrot when offered and then made a funny face before looking offended, and trotting off. “More for your momma, then,” Jack called after the colt and gave the rest of the carrot to Stella who was more than happy to make it disappear.
A FEW days after their impromptu date, Michelle came to the ranch to check up on Sirius. Nothing was wrong, but she was thorough and knew how long Jack had waited for the colt, so she came over to do her thing. Everything was fine, and Jack was more than relieved when the checkup was done, and they were leaning against the paddock fence again. “So, who‟s this mystery man of yours?” Chelle asked suddenly, grinning at him. For a moment Jack thought about playing dumb, but it never paid off with Michelle. She would somehow get the
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 45 truth out of him eventually. Blair wasn‟t on the ranch. He had ridden to move the cattle that morning, while Jack had gone the opposite direction to check on the other mares and foals. “You know, how about going to the bar?” he asked, realizing it had been way too long since they had caught up on things. “If you‟re buying, I‟m game. Will you take your truck or ride with me?” Michelle smiled and after a while, Jack decided he could call someone to get him later. He told Meredith that he was going and had his cell with him if he was needed and then he drove off with Chelle. The drive to town was quiet, both of them waiting to get to town and relax outside their usual environments before chatting about anything important. This, Jack having someone, was truly important. Michelle parked her car outside her little clinic, and they walked the few blocks to the bar they preferred. It was mostly quiet at this time of day, and they weren‟t there to get drunk. Jack got his usual glass of Sprite, and Michelle got herself white wine. They found a booth and slumped down in a way that made them chuckle. “We both seem tired,” Jack said, grinning and taking a sip of his soda. “Oh, yes… long week,” Chelle agreed and then raised a brow at him, prompting him to spill. “The new farrier, Blair.” “Seamus‟s nephew?” Michelle asked, looking surprised. “Isn‟t he young?”
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 46 Jack sighed and nodded. “Yeah, twenty-five. I try not to stare at the numbers, you know.” “So, what‟s he like?” Michelle asked, smiling at him, no judgment in her expression. “He‟s funny, intuitive, very good with the horses, hardworking, hot….” Jack couldn‟t help but grin at the last word. “Oh my God, have you…?” She gestured with her hand. “No… not yet. I mean, I suppose we want to, but… I‟m trying to take things slow.” Michelle pondered for a while and then looked at him thoughtfully. “You know, I think you‟re serious about him. I mean… I know your past and the stuff with Peter….” She let the thought float in the air between them. Jack could almost feel it and knew it was true, just as he had thought himself. They sat in silence, quietly contemplating things for a while. Jack was thinking about his past relationships, before Peter. He had left his hometown because his first real boyfriend had outed him to the whole town in a jealous rage while drunk, one of the reasons Jack never drank anymore. Not only had Jack‟s family disowned him, his whole community had turned its back on him. For some reason Jack‟s boyfriend had been accepted, but that might have had more to do with his rich father than anything else. After all, Jack was just a foreman‟s son, nothing special at all. Naturally it hurt like hell to have his family act like he was practically Satan himself, but somehow Jack had known that would happen. That‟s why he hadn‟t come out before that day. He had hidden the truth within himself since his
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 47 early teens and had next to no experience with men before the first boyfriend who betrayed him. What hurt more than his family‟s actions was the way his friends pretty much abandoned him right away. Some of those so-called friends he‟d been in high school with before dropping out to go work at the same ranch his father did. He had thought he was accepted, especially by a couple of his closest friends who had known that he was gay and about his boyfriend too. It was unfair to lose everyone in his life because of one thing he had no control over. He didn‟t find women sexually attractive. It wasn‟t his fault. He knew he had been born like that. So he‟d go to hell, by the definition of his parents‟ preacher, so what? He had no family or friends or a place to live, either. Coming to the Three R was something that taught him more about family and true loyalty than his blood family had managed in twenty-five years. Then Peter happened, and even though the beginning had been full of passion and so very good, it had always lacked something vital. It had never been bad, not at all, it had been extremely good and satisfying and fun. In fact, the so-called relationship had been just what Jack had needed, but now he knew what he was missing, what he had with Blair. It was the promise of a future together that changed the situation and gave him hope. No matter how much he had liked, even loved, though now he doubted it, Peter, the same hopelessness he had been living with ever since leaving home had been there, lurking in the dark recesses of his mind, and now it was finally fading.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 48 “I think… I think I‟m actually happy for the first time in who knows how long,” Jack said in an amazed tone that prompted Michelle to giggle delightedly. “Excellent!” she exclaimed. “Terrifying, isn‟t it?” “So very.” Jack chuckled and for once, wished his glass held something more than soda. “Are we ready to dive head first into my problems, mostly the one of me having no life whatsoever?” she asked in a playful tone, and Jack nodded, leaning back in his seat. They had a very nice afternoon, and later on, Jack called Meredith to pick him up. “Feel better?” she asked as she drove them toward the farm. “Much. She‟s a good friend,” Jack said with a smile as he looked at the changing scenery so familiar to him by now. “You know you could always talk to me too,” Meredith pointed out, and Jack winced a bit. “I know… it‟s just… you‟re like Blair‟s family and naturally he was what we were talking about. Well him and Chelle‟s lack of a life.” Meredith chuckled but then patted Jack‟s arm. “It‟s okay. I know you need friends that aren‟t from the ranch. It‟s only natural, and she‟s a nice woman. I just wanted you to know that I‟m here for you. If you need to have someone in your corner and all that, we both know that the Scots stick together,” Meredith said with a grin. “Thanks, I really do appreciate that,” Jack said sincerely and felt very happy to be able to say he had friends that would stand by him no matter what this time.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 49
WHEN it came to late July, they were beginning to get to the point where physical intimacy was stepping into the picture again. They hadn‟t done anything more after the first hand jobs, and the sexual tension between them was something that could be cut with a knife. One evening they were at the loft, watching a movie and lounging on Jack‟s couch. They were chatting. The movie wasn‟t that good anyways. “So are you an exclusive bottom?” Blair asked suddenly, turning to look at Jack. “No… well, I enjoy being a bottom more than topping, but I suppose I would top if a partner wanted to every once in a while. I mean in a steady relationship,” he said thoughtfully, and it didn‟t strike him as odd that he could have an intimate conversation in the first place. He was talking in full sentences now, something Blair teased him endlessly about. “I‟m versatile, but I do like topping more.” Blair nodded and snorted at the stupidity of the movie. “Why do they always run upstairs when some psycho is after them? I mean really?” “I‟d throw something at those glass doors and run out instead,” Jack agreed and pointed at the said doors in the movie‟s house where the babysitter or something was running like she didn‟t have a brain at all. “So, wanna fuck?” Blair asked suddenly, and Jack chortled a surprised laugh. “Could you be more direct?” he asked, eyes a bit wide.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 50 “If I was, it could be considered rape,” Blair said nonchalantly and turned to look at Jack with sparkling eyes. “You know I‟ll never get use to that directness of yours, right?” “Yeah, but it will keep things interesting at least.” Blair smirked as he turned to get on his knees and proved his agility by straddling Jack‟s lap with one movement. The heat turned up immediately. It was like throwing gasoline on a bonfire. In a few minutes they were ripping each other‟s clothes off and stumbling toward the bedroom. There was no question of who would do what. They moved in sync, even if it was a hasty “need to fuck right now” kind of sync. It briefly entered Jackson‟s mind that he had never had this sort of easy connection with Peter or anyone else for that matter. “Stuff?” Blair breathed as they fell on the bed in a tangle of limbs and tongues. “Drawer,” Jack moaned as Blair reached to get the condom and lube with one hand. The other was firmly wrapped around Jack‟s cock, stroking him in fluid motions. When Blair had to let go of him, he scrambled to the middle of the bed, not bothering to actually lie down with his head on the pillow. Instead he tugged at the pillow closest to him and stuffed it under his hips. Not comfortable, but efficient. He heard the bottle of lube being opened and something in his stomach fluttered in anticipation. Goddamn, how he loved that feeling. It became apparent that Blair had noticed how little Jack liked words generally. There were none spoken when Jack felt the cool liquid against his cock and then lower, as
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 51 Blair teased his way to his hole. It felt so fucking good, even the simplest touch, and he was seriously contemplating prepping himself so that he wouldn‟t blow his load with the first finger penetration. “Ohhhh…,” he gasped when he felt the fingertips circling the muscle and then slipping in, one by one. Blair was thorough, gentle, but firm and waited for his body to relax before every added finger. He wanted to scream it was okay, that he was stretched enough now, but he couldn‟t. Somehow he knew Blair was actually making a conscious effort not to touch his sweet spot, and it made things all sorts of better. Not better in the greatest way, but better so that he wouldn‟t come too soon. It took the edge off the immediate need, and he was grateful. “Okay, please…,” he gasped when he was sure he could take it without much pain. The smile on Blair‟s face was wonderful. The fingers leaving him made him whimper and the sound of the foil being ripped added a sudden moan to the sound. Blair chuckled. “You sure make a lot of noise for someone who doesn‟t like to talk much, don‟t you? Let‟s see if you‟re this vocal when I fuck you, shall we?” Jack moaned again, louder, when his eyes rolled back at the sensation of being stretched again as the head of Blair‟s cock breached his muscle. Then there was a quiet cursing in Gaelic, Blair was clearly trying to hold his orgasm at bay, and it only made things harder for Jack. “You have no idea… how hot… that is…,” he gasped and Blair looked down at him.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 52 “What?” “The… Gaelic…,” he gasped. "An toir thu dhomh pòg?" Blair asked, and his gaze flickered from Jack‟s eyes to his lips. It was obvious what he was asking. “Yes, please,” Jack whispered and leaned his head up to the kiss. As they kissed, Blair rocked his hips a little, back and forth until he was fully seated inside Jack‟s body. When they needed to breathe, Blair looked at him with such intensity it made him feel even more breathless. If he thought there was something between himself and Peter, he had been wrong. It was just fucking someone safe, someone who knew your buttons and how to push them. Someone you saw so rarely you could talk for hours because you had so very little in common it was always like meeting someone new. Jack realized he didn‟t want that anymore. He wanted this. Someone familiar in his barn, his bed, inside him. He began to roll his hips to meet Blair‟s thrusts, and then it happened, the nudge against his sweet spot that sent electric currents through his body. “Fuck…,” he hissed and his back arched, the movement making Blair nail the same spot immediately with his next thrust. It didn‟t take all that long after that. “Almost…,” Jack gasped and Blair moved faster. “Look at me, Jack,” Blair said sharply as Jack‟s eyes were about to close. He looked, saw the emotion in Blair‟s eyes, and wrapped his legs around Blair‟s slender hips to pull him closer.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 53 The rocking motion, now shorter but deeper strokes because Jack wouldn‟t let Blair away, were quickly driving him to completion. He wrapped his arms around Blair, enjoying the feel of the sheen of sweat on the younger man‟s skin and pulled him closer. As soon as their chests touched, Jack groaned and came in bursts between their stomachs, the spasms of his body triggering Blair‟s orgasm. The thing that pushed Blair over was Jack‟s blunt fingernails scraping his back none too gently as he was still slightly out of it. They came back to their senses slowly. Blair pulled out and tossed the condom to a trash can as Jack pulled the pillow from under his hips. It had felt so fucking good. Somehow he knew the difference was all about the mental connection. “You know they wouldn‟t mind if you wanted to move in here with me,” he said quietly, aware of the fact that he was making assumptions but unable to keep the words contained. “Hmm… you‟re about to make a semi-honest man out of me, Jackson?” Blair grinned as he climbed back on the bed and curled against Jack‟s body. “Maybe… we‟ll see. Might even let you ride Sirius when he‟s old enough.” “Damn… never thought I‟d hear those words.” Blair chuckled and gently bit Jack‟s chest just because he could. It was surprisingly easy to let go of doubts he might have had before. It was obvious Blair wanted him as much as he wanted the younger man, and boy, had it been good. Jack was floating in the post-coital relaxation at the edge of sleep, when he heard Blair sigh. Jack struggled to clear his
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 54 mind and felt Blair tense a little bit, almost as if he was making a decision of some kind. “I had a close-knit group of friends back in Scotland,” Blair‟s voice, almost hesitant, began. “There were five of us. We did everything together when we had any free time. Two of us, Cay and Nicki, were a couple. The rest of us were mostly single while we grew up.” For some reason Jack felt like he needed to be closer to Blair, so he shifted enough to properly embrace the other man. “We knew each other from around ten, twelve years old, and we were inseparable. Somehow we never got into trouble. We were good kids. The summer I was nineteen, Cay and Nicki got engaged. It was lovely. We went to a picnic at this old ruined castle near where Cay‟s parents live. Very idyllic.” Jack could feel the smile against his chest, even though the words were clearly making Blair a bit upset already. “Driving back, I sat in the front, and Jules drove. The others sat in the back, and they were a bit loud, and there was a lot of giggling from the girls. It was the perfect day. We were on this narrow road and suddenly—” Blair took a deep breath and Jack held him even tighter. “There was a tractor, out of nowhere….” The silence was suddenly deafening. Jack listened to Blair breathe shakily as he tried to continue the story. Jack smoothed the younger man‟s hair from his forehead, waiting patiently, feeling like he should be able to do something more to take the obvious pain away, but all he could do was wait.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 55 “Kelpies… the story….” Blair cleared his throat a bit. “There‟s a story in the Celtic folklore: A sea horse takes nine children to its back and tries to get a tenth to take them deep into the waters with him, but the tenth child escapes. He watches from the shore when the others drown with the horse.” Jack‟s fingers found the large tattoo of a horse, black drops of ink dripping from its wet mane and tail, and stroked it gently. For the first time, he noticed the scar hidden by the ink. His fingers stopped on top of it. “Nobody blamed me for surviving but me. I don‟t feel guilty anymore… but I left Scotland for a reason.” Blair sighed and curled around the smaller man, seeking refuge from his memories. Jack could understand running from a place where everything reminded you of the past. There were as many reasons to run as there were people doing the running. Suddenly the bluntness and certainty that made up a big part of Blair‟s personality was so much easier to understand. If you almost die once and lose so many dear to you, you learn to hold on to what you feel is right. He pulled a blanket over them, feeling honored that Blair had shared the story with him.
BLAIR did move in the little stuff he had, and things couldn‟t have been better. There was intimacy, and not just the sexual kind. Things were progressing fast, faster than Jack had thought possible for himself, but Blair was so sure about them that it convinced him too. Maybe it did make
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 56 sense, grabbing the right thing when you saw it and holding on tight so that it wouldn‟t escape you. It wasn‟t Jackson‟s usual way of living, but it was growing on him, and he had already decided Blair was worth the risk. They lived together and worked together. When things got to be too much from being cooped up together 24/7, Blair had things to do around the ranch, fixing things with the others so that they got a bit of breathing room. Somehow, and it was a miracle in itself, Jackson completely missed the day when the carnival arrived in town. It wasn‟t until the late evening when there was a knock on the door that he remembered. Jack got up from where he had been reading, curled up against Blair, who was watching some documentary, and opened the door. “Jackie….” The purr in the tone was familiar as the taller man, blond with a shaggy curly head of hair stepped into the loft. “I‟ve missed you all year,” Peter said and leaned down to the usual greeting. Instead of kissing him, Jack stepped back and a look of confusion filled Peter‟s handsome, almost pretty features. “What…?” he asked and then looked into the room behind Jack to see Blair on the couch. “Oh. I wondered why you didn‟t come over after work. I can see why, now,” Peter said and stepped around Jack to walk deeper into the room. This wasn‟t good. The glint in Peter‟s eyes was familiar to Jack. Irrational jealousy was rearing its ugly head. Jack knew that look from the eyes of his first lover.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 57 “Now, I‟m Peter, as you must know,” the blond said and stood firmly next to the coffee table, arms across his chest. “The question is, who are you?” “I‟m Blair, Jack‟s partner.” The word hadn‟t been used yet as such, but it felt good. And it made Peter‟s jaw drop. “What? You‟re just a kid!” Peter gasped, and Jack shook his head. “No. He‟s young, but he‟s not a kid.” “What the hell, Jack?” Peter turned his sharp gaze toward Jack who was trying to find a reason for him to have been so hung up with this guy. Sure he was good-looking, but the years on the road were catching up with Peter. He looked tired, worn out. His tattoos were fading, and there weren‟t any new ones that he could see. Some of his piercings were gone too. He looked much older than Jack, and he was five years younger. “What? You wanted me to wait for your annual visit forever?” Jack looked at Peter curiously. “No… yeah… I mean, it‟s…. What if I came here to tell you I was ready to settle down and wanted to do it with you here?” Peter asked, getting his act together after a moment of stumbling. “Well, are you?” he asked, and Peter‟s eyes flashed with something he didn‟t recognize. “No… no, but I came here to—” “To fuck him and leave him and come again tomorrow night and the next until you went back on the road to fuck the other men who are waiting for you in all those other
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 58 towns you visit,” Blair said in a dry tone that made Peter bristle visibly. “What the fuck is that to you?!” Peter had raised his voice, almost yelling now. “I‟m falling in love with him, that‟s what it‟s to me. Can you say the same?” Blair asked, looking straight at Peter, refusing to look away first. “Fuck,” Peter growled. He looked at Jackson who was still a bit shell-shocked at the L-word that hadn‟t been said before, and then back to Blair. “Fine, you have him. I have others I can go to. Better pieces of ass even in this shit-hole of a town,” the blond spat and turned to stomp out of the loft. “Wh-what?” Jackson stuttered, shocked for another reason now. Without thinking, he stormed after Peter. He just had to know if it was true. “Peter, wait!” Jack called out as he ran down the stairs, barefoot. The man stopped in front of the barn but didn‟t turn around. “Peter, is it true?” Jack hated how broken his tone sounded. The blond turned around and looked at Jack. “No, not really, I mean, I know who I could have. You know I flirt a lot, but… nobody else but you here,” Peter sighed and combed his messy locks with his fingers, dodging Jack‟s eyes. “But why would you…?”
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 59 “Because I was surprised. Because I want to be on top of the game. Because it hurt that you have what I know I can‟t have.” His tone sounded passionate at first, but then it faded into resignation. “Peter… you know you‟ll find someone eventually. Settling down just isn‟t for you,” Jack said, knowing that it was the truth. “Yeah… and you deserve better. Someone like the kid up there, someone who likes horses and the ranch and wants to stay with you.” Peter smiled just a little and Jack could have sworn there were tears in his eyes, but the man turned away again. “I won‟t bother you again,” Peter said hoarsely. “Please don‟t leave like this,” Jackson pleaded. “There‟s nothing for me here. It‟s better that I go. If you‟re in town next summer, come see me,” Peter said and walked to the car parked in front of the barn. He drove off, the bright colors of the carnival vehicle a stark contrast against the muted tones of the earth under Jack‟s bare feet and the numbness inside him. He turned to walk back into the barn and up the stairs. “Baby, you okay?” Blair asked. The younger man got up from the couch where he had been waiting and walked to Jackson to wrap his arms around him. “What is it?” he asked worriedly. “I never thought it would hurt like this. He lied, there was never anyone else, but… he did mean something to me for a long time.” He looked at Blair, begging him to understand.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 60 “Come on, let‟s go to bed, and I‟ll show you how much I care about you, eh?” Blair smirked at him, large hands rounding Jackson‟s body and cupping his ass. All doubts and thoughts were wiped out of his head when the gorgeous farrier started to nibble at his neck and whisper dirty things into his ear. Who cared about the carnival when you had your own amusement right in your own home?
A
FEW nights later it was time for the annual Triple R‟s
Lammas celebration. It was a Scottish thing, a celebration of the first harvest which just meant a party at the farm. An excuse to drink and be merry. It was also the first time Jackson had someone to go to the party with. There would be a lot of couples around. The young guys brought dates. The older ones had their wives there. Everyone was there, and he knew he couldn‟t avoid it, not that he really wanted to avoid it. It would just take a lot of courage. “Come on now, it‟s time,” Blair said, tugging him toward the door. They were dressed nicely, Jack in neat jeans and a button-up shirt for once. The sleeves were rolled up and some buttons weren‟t done, but it was still better than the usual T-shirt or tank top thing they all did. Blair had gone the Scottish way with a modern twist. He was wearing a knitted sweater. It was very thin and loose around his muscular frame and made Jack stare. Combined with a leather kilt and rumpled socks with combat boots.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 61 “Okay… okay…,” Jack said and took a deep breath. He walked after Blair across the yard to the main house. He resisted the urge to tug his hand free from Blair‟s just barely. It was okay. They were living together. They were in love, for heaven‟s sake! Nobody would give them a hard time if they didn‟t start slow dancing and making out. And it was okay. It was just fine. They ate and chatted with people. A couple of the other guys making comments about knowing who wore the dress in the barn loft was all the ribbing they really got. Blair had a couple of beers, and Jack had none but quite enjoyed the taste from Blair‟s lips when nobody was watching. Who knew beer could taste that good? When the evening was finally slowing down, there was only one thing to do before the garden would be reserved to the ones who wanted to slow dance and sit around the firepit until the early hours. Seamus went and put on the track he did every year. Twice a year they‟d hear it here on Triple R. “Auld Lang Syne” was played on Lammas and on New Year‟s. It was a sentimental and silly thing. Everyone thought it was so Scottish when it really wasn‟t something that Seamus associated with it. It had started as a joke, something with bagpipes, but became a tradition eventually. Jack stood in the shadows and listened to the song quietly. Blair was standing behind him and wrapped his arms around the older man, nuzzling his neck affectionately. “Do you know what it means? Auld Lang Syne?” Blair asked, speaking directly to his ear, his breath causing shivers on Jack‟s skin. “Don‟t think I do,” Jack admitted.
Auld Lang Syne | Tia Fielding 62 “Sometimes they begin the old Scottish fairytales with „in the days of auld lang syne‟,” Blair whispered. “Once upon a time?” Jackson guessed and got a nod and a nip under his ear as a response. “Tha gràdh agam ort,” Blair‟s words were firm and felt like the caress they were meant to be. It mattered little that Blair had said them first indirectly or that he was the one saying them now. What did matter, was the way Jackson felt his heart fill with joy when he heard the words, even in a language he had very little knowledge of. It meant one thing—he knew he would be able to say it, in his own words, eventually.
About the Author
TIA FIELDING lives in a peaceful little town in a small country in northern Europe. She loves nature, her horses, cats, and even the yappy little thing that occasionally gets called a dog. Tia learned to read before she went to school at the age six and began writing as soon as she figured she had stories to tell around the mature age of seven. Stories about horses, adventures, and ghosts might have turned into hot GLBTQ-romance, but she still has a wicked imagination and, hopefully, more stories to tell. Visit her at http://www.tiafielding.com and by Twitter @tiafielding.
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Auld Lang Syne ©Copyright Tia Fielding, 2011 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Art by Anne Cain
[email protected] Cover Design by Mara McKennen This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the Publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America July 2011 eBook Edition eBook ISBN: 978-1-61581-933-1
