Amore Rinnovato

Mardi Gras Publishing, LLC 133 Lake Front Dr. #204 Daphne, AL 36526 This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

ISBN-13 978-1-934329-35-1 ISBN-10 1-934329-35-5 Bloodmate III © 2007 by Jaden Sinclair All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Cover art © 2007 by Dyana Lunaris For more variety in your reading selection, please visit www.mardigraspublishing.com

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Dibqufs!2! A lone figure stood at the end of the long drive at the home of Lucian DeLuca and Julian Marino. It was well past midnight and rain was beating down hard on the hooded head. Lightning flashed brightly in the sky and the sound of thunder vibrated through the ground, yet the figure did not move. Even when a sudden flash of red lightning lit the sky in the distance, an indication that death was close at hand for one of their kind, the person stood as still as a statue watching the house, glancing a few times in the direction where the lightning shot out from the sky. Watching and waiting. The figure was covered in a trench coat that created a puddle on the ground at the base of knee-high leather boots. Not one muscle twitched. Not even the hands stuffed in the coat pockets to keep warm. Whoever stood at the end of that drive bundled in the long coat stood alone, unmoved by the storm beating down and uncaring of the world around them. Ten minutes, fifteen minutes, thirty minutes went by, and still the person stood in the pouring rain, waiting. When close to forty-five minutes had passed, a dark blue Mercedes pulled up to the drive. It stopped and parked at the end of the drive, mere inches from the one standing. The person finally showed movement again. The head looked down, letting rain fall to the ground, as shiny silver eyes with purple pupils looked out. A driver holding an umbrella opened the car door for a man dressed in a black silk suit and glossy shoes to step out into the rain. He looked to be in his fifties; in fact

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he was well into his nineties, if not older. He nodded his head to the driver, taking the umbrella from him. “Waiting long?” he asked, walking up to the figure. “Long enough Ambrose.” Ambrose D'Abigne smiled at the voice of the young girl. He knew who it was hidden under the heavy coat, letting the rain beat down on her, knew the eyes that looked at him so brightly, yet without love. “I did tell you that you could ride with me.” “I preferred the walk,” she replied in a cold voice. Ambrose smiled again as he shook his head. “Are they in there?” “Yes.” He sighed deeply and said, “Then let’s get this started and over with.” Ambrose took off up the drive. The girl waited a few moments before she also started the walk up the drive. She walked as if she’d just gotten there, not as if she had been standing still for almost an hour waiting in the rain. When Ambrose stopped at the front door, the girl stopped walking a few feet away from him. She watched as Ambrose took his walking cane and used the head of it to bang on the door. A few seconds went by before a young woman opened the door. The girl started a slow walk up when Ambrose stepped inside. Right before the door closed, the girl put her hand inside to stop it. “Ah! She is with me.” Ambrose said with a cheerful smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see her.” Tempest Deluca said. Ambrose chuckled, “Most don’t.” “Ambrose!” Lucian Deluca came rushing out of the kitchen holding a bottle in his hand. “I didn’t know you would be here so fast.” “Why waste time, I ask?” Ambrose told them all with his brightest smile. “And from the sound of things, I came at the perfect time.” “Lucian!” Julian came rushing up the stairs with a screaming baby in his arms. “Tell me you have that bottle ready!” 2

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Julian stopped when he saw the two guests standing in the front room. Even as the baby in his arms screamed loudly, her face turning red, Julian recognized Ambrose smiling at him. The other person standing by the door, dripping wet, he didn’t know. “Ambrose!” Julian said softly with a touch of wonder in his voice. “You all act like I am some kind of god.” Ambrose remarked, chuckling. “You need my help, so here I am to help.” “Ah shit!” Corbin cried as he walked in from down the hall. “You’re getting my floor wet.” “I see he hasn’t changed much.” Ambrose commented as he walked to a large chair and sat down. “Get that coat off now,” Corbin snapped, “before you ruin my floor!” The girl looked at Ambrose who only smiled back at her. “Time to show us your face my dear.” The girl pulled her hands from her pockets and worked to unbutton her coat. All eyes were on her as she pushed the hood back and let the coat slip off her shoulders to the floor. Tight black leather pants hugged long slim legs and well formed hips. Her leather boots laced all the way up to her knees and both had large knives tucked inside. A sizeable belt hung from her hips over to the left side with another good-sized knife attached to it. A dark brown vest that seemed made just for her hugged her large breasts. It had thick straps over the shoulders and zipped up the front, and offered a nice tempting view of cleavage, something that caught Julian’s eye. Her hair was long and black, reaching the middle of her back with a few bangs in the front. When she looked up at the waiting faces, everyone was speechless. “I trust that you two remember Carissa?” Ambrose asked with a smile. “Little Carissa?” Lucian asked with wonder in his voice. “Not so little anymore, huh?” Ambrose chuckled then said. “Bring me that little girl.”

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Julian tore his eyes from the sight at the front door. He walked over to Ambrose with the screaming baby, handing her off. “Oh, such a fussy thing you are.” Ambrose said to the little girl. “What’s her name?” “Paris,” Julian answered. “And how long has Ms. Paris been screaming like this?” “Two weeks,” Corbin said. “And she won’t keep anything down. Seems the formula isn’t agreeing with her anymore.” “Oh, she needs more than just the formula. Carissa,” Ambrose said her name, not taking his eyes from the baby. The way he said it was more of a command than anything else. Carissa walked over to Lucian, taking the bottle from him. She opened the lid and then walked up to Julian, grabbed his wrist and cut it suddenly. Everyone in the room watched her as she squeezed a good amount of blood into the formula. All Julian could do was stand there in wonder and let her force his blood out. After the liquid was a nice shade of pink, she handed it to Ambrose while Julian closed the wound. Within seconds, Paris had stopped crying and was instead eating. “Once a day you will need to feed her some blood.” Ambrose said rocking the baby. “Her system wasn’t done forming. I can tell that she was born very early. She needs this extra blood to get her system back on track in order for her to grow properly.” He cooed at her softly. “Now fill me in on what’s going on.” Ambrose demanded in a soft, authoritative manner. Lucian sat down in a chair across from Ambrose. Corbin walked into the kitchen to work on something for the new guests to eat. Carissa just stood off to the side, watching them all. Julian looked from Ambrose holding his daughter to Carissa. He was surprised at how still she held herself. How quiet she seemed. How cold. Lucian started filling Ambrose in on all that had happened. He told him about how Renzo took both Julian and Serina. How he gave her something to force a sudden labor and how that labor killed her. 4

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Ambrose in turn explained to Lucian how a bloodmate could not be forced into labor. Having a baby was a hard and dangerous thing, especially for a bloodmate. The chance of her bleeding to death was too great, which was the very thing that happened to Serina. Ambrose also noticed how Julian would look from him to Carissa. He saw the glint of life within his eyes, a renewed sense of hope. He also saw how Carissa was trying hard not to let her sudden attraction show. “So, Renzo has the other girl. Should have known that man was capable of something like this. But to let his own daughter die,” he made a tsking sound, then looked at Julian, “that is something we cannot let go unpunished.” “What do you suggest?” Julian asked. Ambrose handed the baby to Tempest. He stood up with a disapproving look on his face, “Lucian is going to be limited in his ability to help.” “She was part of this family,” Lucian said, “I am going to be there to help.” “You are also too important to your wife.” Ambrose said. “When it is time, you must be here to see to the birth of your child. I don’t want Tempest to have any complications.” Ambrose walked over to Julian. He patted him on shoulder, then headed into the kitchen. “Ah, Corbin! Something smells great!” Tempest looked at Julian in shock before she took the baby back down to her crib and Lucian followed Ambrose into the kitchen. Carissa didn’t move. She continued to look at nothing, and Julian found it hard to look away from her. “How did you know?” Lucian walked after Ambrose asking him how he could possibly know that Tempest was pregnant, leaving Julian with Carissa. “You…um…you’ve grown up.” Carissa looked up at Julian but still she said nothing. The way she was looking at him sent chills down his spine. He didn’t know what to say to her or how to look at her. Large bolts of lightning shot out of the sky followed by a bang of thunder. The lights in the house flashed before all went black. Julian said a silent thanks when he felt

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his body suddenly come to life. His fangs lengthened and hunger raced in his body along with a sudden urge. An urge that was well hidden in the darkness of the house. Carissa’s eyes were one of the things he could see in the darkness of the house. They became brighter as they watched Julian. His own eyes turned silver while he tried to fight his hunger, knowing that she could sense the sudden change within him. While the group in the kitchen tried to find candles and Tempest called up to them, Carissa moved towards Julian. He felt her body heat as she stood mere inches from him, could even smell the sweet scent of her blood. Julian closed his eyes as she leaned in close to him. “You need to feed,” she breathed into his ear. Julian opened his mouth and moved his head closer to her neck. He licked the place where her vein pulsed with fresh blood and closed his eyes as his instincts took over and his fangs got closer and closer. Her hands went to his chest, moving upward to his neck. Julian moved his own hands around her waist, down to her leather covered ass. Fingers wove their way into his long hair, fisting it in both hands. With a quick, sharp yank, she pulled Julian’s head back. “You’re not ready for that,” she said against his lips. She took her sharp teeth and nipped his lower lip. She nipped it enough so a few drops of his blood escaped, which she licked. Julian stayed put as Carissa walked over to her coat still lying on the floor. He watched her turn her back to him and slip it on. He didn’t say a word or try to stop her as she opened the door and walked out into the pouring rain. The second the door closed, the lights came back on. Ambrose walked into the room where Julian was still standing and staring at the door. He put his hand on Julian’s shoulder as Julian looked at him with a stunned expression. “Where is she going?” Julian asked. “Oh, don’t worry about her. She will be back before the sunrise.” 6

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“She is very quiet,” he remarked in wonder. “Yes. Carissa never says too much. At least not with words,” Ambrose smirked. “Come. I want to know the rest about Renzo.”

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Dibqufs!3! Carissa perched herself up on a rooftop watching the busy streets, letting the rain beat down on top of her head. Drops of water fell from the tips of her fingers as she squatted down. She was hungry, and she was in pain. She was also in need. Emotions raced fast and hard within her. She wasn’t prepared for what she felt when she saw Julian again. Didn’t think she would have to fight this so soon or so hard. Carissa ran her tongue over her sharp teeth. Some called her a half-breed. She had all the strengths of vampires, as well as the metallic silver eyes like them. However, she also had the same weaknesses such as the need to avoid the sun and the need for blood. She also had to always deal with sharp teeth. She did not have the normal vampire fangs, yet she did not have smooth teeth either. Her incisors were medium in length, but sharp as hell, and they never retracted, only became longer with her hunger, or anger. Another thing that Carissa inherited was the need to bleed, as well as the need to take away the sharp pain. All her life, Carissa thought she was a freak. When Ambrose took her in, he showed her that there was a way for her to be normal, a way for her to survive. So Carissa lived most of her life as a bloodmate, not as a vampire. Yet her vampire side demanded she feed as one of them at least once a week. Unlike other bloodmates, she needed to bleed only once a month, depending on the pain. She didn’t need to eat as much as normal bloodmates did and she also didn’t have the mark. Carissa closed her eyes and looked up at the sky. Cold rain beat on her face as she tried to fight the sudden desire to taste Julian’s blood again, to sink her fangs 8

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deep into his neck and suck the hot liquid into her mouth. She extended her arms out to the sides and leaned over, letting herself fall. She did one small flip before she landed on her feet like a cat on the ground. Carissa blended in with the flow of the people. Never did she notice that someone was watching her. She walked, going no place, yet not stopping either. Over and over, she rehashed the scene in the front room in her mind. She still could feel his hands on her backside, feel his body pressed to hers, smell his scent, and feel the hunger radiating from him. Carissa walked the streets, so deep in her thoughts she did not notice that she was being followed. She took a turn down an alley, letting her body lead her to feed. By the time she heard the steps behind her, it was too late. A strong arm went around her waist as a switchblade was pressed to her throat. “Keep walking,” a man’s voice hissed in her ear. “Such a sweet piece walking alone this late. Luck must finally be on my side.” Carissa let the man walk her deeper into the darkness of the alley. She could smell his excitement and hear his blood pounding in his veins. Both things that made her upcoming feast all the sweeter. “Right here,” he said. Carissa stopped and waited for him to make the move. He moved his hand from her waist, only to skim it around her neck to yank her wet coat from her body. The rain was still beating down hard, chilling her already cold body. Carissa kept her head down, letting him push her around. The more she let him, the more excited he would become. “Now my pretty,” he said with a nasty smile on his face, “let’s play.” “Yes,” she answered him in her cold, dead voice. “Let’s.” Carissa moved fast. She grabbed the guy by his throat, lifting him to his toes. Slowly, to heighten his fright, Carissa raised her head to show him her eyes. Her normal silver eyes turned a dark purple and when she smiled, showing him her sharp teeth, she could smell his fright. As her fangs lengthened, she felt the shiver in his body.

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Carissa slammed him hard up against the wall. Just before she sank her teeth into him, she felt him climax. It was something that always happened to a human man before she fed upon him and was something she didn’t understand. He started to moan while she drank, and Carissa let him wrap his arms around her. Her sexual needs started to rise as she drank, but when she closed her eyes, she saw Julian. When she had enough, Carissa closed the wounds and let the guy drop to the ground. She picked up her coat from the ground and walking away, she slipped back into it. Not once did Carissa look back at the guy. An hour later, she was back up on a rooftop, watching. Although she had fed, her hunger hadn’t subsided. She wanted much more. “Never thought I would be sharing a lookout spot with anyone.” Carissa closed her eyes, letting Julian’s deep voice wash over her. When she opened them, he was sitting next to her. Both looked out at the night as the cold rain beat upon their heads. Julian felt the cold from Carissa all the way to his bones, but he wouldn’t let her stillness beat him. There was something about her aloofness that really bothered him. He suddenly wanted to break through the hard shell she had around herself and see what she was all about. It was strange sitting here next to her and having new feelings wash over him. Feelings that he thought had died along with Serena. Guilt washed over him as he thought of her, and how he was thinking of Carissa. He should not be thinking of a new woman when he still had a child out there suffering as her sister had been for the past few weeks. “You still think of her,” Carissa said suddenly. Her cold voice startled him to the point of movement. “Yes,” he remarked in a sad voice. He looked out at the night. “I also worry about my daughter.” “You still feel the guilt,” she stood up, looking at him with her haunting silver eyes. “You need to overcome that soon if you want to get her back.”

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Julian watched her jump down from the roof. She landed lightly on the street and casually walked away. He sat there thinking about what little she said to him, yet how that little bit was so much. He watched her blend in with the people as she headed back to the house and wonder came over him. Could she be right about him still holding on to the guilt? When Carissa opened the front door, Ambrose was standing and waiting for her. He wasn’t sitting in the chair, but standing directly in front of the front door. She looked at him and slowly closed the door behind her. She took her wet coat off and hung it up, yet didn’t look at him. “I’m fine,” she finally told him, answering his unspoken question. “Are you?” She swung around, meeting his eyes. “I told you I could handle this.” “I know what you told me, and I know what I see in front of me,” he sighed deeply, placing his hands on his hips. “We don’t have much time. I need you to stay on track here. I also need you at your best!” “I told you, I’m fine,” she responded in a tight voice. “Well from where I’m standing my dear, you look like shit. You are not feeding enough, and I know for a fact that you are not resting either,” his frown quickly changed to concern. “I need you at your best.” he said again. “I have never failed you in the past, and I won’t now.” Ambrose cracked a smile and walked closer to her. He touched her wet hair, brushing it behind her ear. “You are like my daughter. I worry about you and what you are going through. I know I can’t help you with the battle, but I can do my best to keep you healthy for the war.” Julian opened the front door then. Ambrose noticed immediately how she suddenly tensed up. He smiled at Julian, taking Carissa by the arm. “There is a bath downstairs for you, along with something on the counter. Soak and rest,” he looked at Julian. “Both of you rest. We have lots of work to do tomorrow night.” 11

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Carissa didn’t look at Julian as she went downstairs. She rushed to the bathroom, closing and locking the door. She smiled as she saw the large glass of blood wine on the counter along with some of Ambrose’s special drug to help her sleep. She stripped, looking her body over in the mirror before she put the drug in her drink and went to soak. Thirty minutes later, she was lying in a warm bed looking at nothing, waiting to go to sleep. She finally managed it four hours later.

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Dibqufs!4! Ambrose woke before the sun was fully set. He dressed and walked into Carissa’s room to check on her. He smiled knowingly as he looked at the empty bed, touching the pillow and noticing that it was cool. She seemed to only have slept another two or three hours, maybe four at the most, not enough in his opinion to keep up her strength. He walked upstairs to the great smell of breakfast cooking and Corbin in the kitchen. The rest of the household was still deep asleep, so when he walked up to Corbin, he jumped. “I didn’t hear you,” Corbin said. Ambrose smiled, “I tend to be very quiet on my feet. Um, have you by chance seen Carissa?” “She walked outside, just about as quiet as you.” “Yes. She is very quiet. Almost withdrawn,” he sighed deeply, looking out the window. “This is the only time that she gets to see the sun.” “I thought bloodmates were able to go out in the sun until the time they are bound to their mate?” “True, but Carissa is a half-breed. She never got that privilege,” Ambrose patted him on the back and headed for the front door. Carissa was perched in a tree, all the way up at the top. She stood leaning on the thick bark, watching the sky. She was dressed in her leather pants and a black, cotton sleeveless shirt. She had the front tied in a criss-cross fashion with the ties hanging 13

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loosely open. Her hair was loose also, blowing in the breeze. Steam rose off her body as the last rays of the sun sank down, letting the nightlife awaken. “A beautiful sunset tonight,” Ambrose said. Carissa jumped down from the tree in front of Ambrose. She gave him a faint smile. “Yes it is,” she looked over her shoulder one more time at the last bit of fading light. When she looked back at Ambrose, she gave him a wicked grin and asked, “Ready for some sparring?” He chuckled. “Don’t you think I’m getting a bit too old for this?” “Never too old for a good ass kicking,” she smiled warmly. He saw the twinkle in her eyes and smiled. It had been so long since he had seen any happiness in her eyes that he found he could not tell her no. “Just take it easy on me this time. I don’t heal like I used to.” “You always said to show mercy was to show weakness,” she teased. Ambrose laughed louder, putting his arm around her shoulder as they walked around the house to the backyard. “That I did.” Julian came slowly up the stairs with Paris in his arms, talking away to her. He noticed right off that everyone was watching something out in the backyard. “What’s going on?” Tempest turned around to put more pancakes on her plate. “Carissa and Ambrose. They are sparring.” Julian took the bottle from the counter and walked to the open back door. Sure enough, Carissa and Ambrose were fighting. Both had thick pads on their arms and legs and two sets of police batons. Julian saw the sweat run down Carissa’s face as she blocked the hard blows that Ambrose directed her way. “Now, those are some bad ass hits,” Lucian said. “And she blocks each one of them. Who would have thought?” he chuckled. Julian watched as Ambrose charged at Carissa. He swung his clubs hard from left to right, and although she blocked each one with her pads, she had to take a step

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back with each blow. Never did he think that Ambrose could hit so hard, let alone take on someone like Carissa. When Ambrose missed a hit, Carissa swung around slamming her club down on his back. Julian and Lucian winced. “Oh! That had to hurt,” Julian said. “Shit. That makes my back hurt just watching,” Lucian replied. Ambrose went down to his knees but managed to swing out and knocked Carissa right off her feet. She landed on her back and stayed there as Ambrose also stayed on his knees. Both were breathing hard, and then out of nowhere, Carissa started laughing. “If that doesn’t help you to sleep tonight,” Ambrose said breathing hard, “then I have no clue what will.” Carissa lifted her head and smiled brightly. “God, I love this. Drains all the tension right out.” “I’m glad something does,” Ambrose groaned as he pushed himself up to his feet. He walked to her, giving her his hand to help her back to her feet. “Now I am going to need something to take all these new aches out of my old bones.” **** Corbin decided that everyone needed to sit down for a nice dinner. He made several roasted chickens; two large bowls of mashed potatoes, and fresh green beans with new potatoes, carrots, and a salad. He also had several small loaves of fresh baked bread and fresh fruit. For the first time in ages, a family sat at the table eating a meal and talking. Tempest talked about the things she felt when the baby moved, even though she still wasn’t showing. Julian told a few tales of what Paris did after a feeding, and Carissa and Ambrose smiled and listened. It was the first time in a very long while that Carissa just sat back and relaxed. It was also the first time in a long while that she smiled, something that Ambrose noticed.

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“Do you know the one thing I remember about our childhood?” Lucian asked. “Little Carissa.” Carissa looked at Lucian and sat back in her chair. She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting with a small hint of a smile on her lips. “The pig tails,” Lucian started laughing when he got a dirty look from Carissa. “She always had these pig tails.” “And you two always had to pull on them,” Carissa finished. She leaned forward. “That’s what I remember. How you use to pull on them, then tease me if I ran away crying.” Tempest slapped Lucian on the arm. “So you were a bully then too.” “Oh, they both were,” Carissa said. “In fact, if I followed them around too much, Julian would push me down in some mud. I didn’t understand then how much they didn’t want me around, how they were always doing something that girls weren’t allowed to see. Or in my case, I couldn’t see,” she looked at Julian letting him see the pain she had at the memories. “See what they didn’t understand was when I was with them, I got to forget. I forgot what I was, and what I would never have. I got to pretend I was just like them, when in truth, I’ll never be like anyone.” “Is that why you act like you do?” Julian asked, matching her cold expression with one of his own. “Pretend that you are dead inside with no heart?” “Julian…” Lucian started. “Maybe I am dead inside,” she answered him calmly. “You have a heart, Carissa,” Julian took a drink of his wine before he looked hard at her. “You just forgot how to feel with it. Forgot how to live.” “One cannot forget something that they have never learned in the first place,” she told him in a matter-of-fact way. “You learned it, Carissa,” Julian sat back in his chair in a relaxed manner. “You just refuse to let the life within you out. You refuse to go out and live.”

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Carissa stood up calmly, keeping her eyes on Julian. “There is a big difference in the way we live, Julian. I choose to go on, whereas you choose to grieve. Which is the better way?” Julian watched her walk away without a word. The rest at the table sat in silence also. “Well, since you managed to put your foot in your mouth again,” Corbin said to Julian, “you can help with the dishes.” “How about if I put my foot in your ass?” he growled back to Corbin. “If it will get you off of your ass and do the dishes faster, then by all means try,” Corbin shot back at him. An hour later Julian walked down to check on Paris and was surprised to find Carissa there. She had the baby on her shoulder, swaying back and forth singing a song softly. Please stop your crying little one Soon she will be home. Please stop your crying little one Your journey has just begun Close your eyes for you must sleep Close your eyes and dream Soon, soon little one, you will be complete. “I’ve never heard a song like that before,” Julian said in a hushed voice. Carissa gently placed the baby down in her crib, tucking her in. She touched her head gently as she slept, hiding all emotion. Julian walked up to the crib and looked at his sleeping daughter, then at Carissa. “I am sorry if…” he started. “Better get some sleep. You’re going to need it,” she cut him off. “For what?” he asked her with a frown and confusion on his face. She walked to the door and then turned around. She looked at him with a cold expression on her face. “We need to get you focused if you are going to face Renzo.” 17

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Dibqufs!5! Carissa was the first one in the house to wake. She fixed some coffee, muffins, and a large bowl of fruit for the house. She knew that Corbin would come out and work on Tempest’s breakfast, but Julian needed to eat too. She left a note on the counter for him, telling him to join her in the back when he was finished. She sat out in the backyard, on the ground, waiting. She was dressed in a tight pair of biker shorts, sports bra, and her boots. Her hair was in a long French braid down her back, and two long, dull, spears lay at her feet. Ambrose walked out into the crisp night and sat down in a chair that was set out just for him. He smiled as he looked at Carissa. She was so still, so disciplined, that pride filled his heart. She was the best at what she did, and she was perfect. “He is changing,” Ambrose finally said. “He should be out here soon. You will take it easy on him, right?” A slight smile touched her lips. “I’m not here to show him mercy.” “Good point, my dear.” Julian walked into the kitchen with Paris in his arms. She was awake and surprisingly very quiet. She watched Julian with a hard expression on her tiny face but when Julian looked down with a smile, she smiled back. “Boy, she is going to kick your ass,” Lucian said with a chuckle “I don’t understand why I have to train with her.” “Are you afraid of a girl?” Tempest asked with a smile on her face.

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Julian handed Paris to her. He picked up a piece of fruit, popping it into his mouth. “I was brought up a gentleman. We don’t fight girls.” Lucian looked out the window at Carissa. “Well, if I were you, I wouldn’t think like that. If you look at her as a girl then she will kick your ass for sure.” “Thanks, buddy,” Julian smarted back. Julian walked out, suppressing the sudden nerves that racked his body. He also had to restrain the raging hunger that surged through his body when he looked at her. He didn’t want to do that to his memory of Serena. He didn’t want to hunger for another woman so soon, if ever. “Ah, Julian! We have been waiting,” Ambrose said cheerfully. “Time is not on our side, so we need to get you ready as quickly as we can.” “Ready?” Carissa stood up with both spears in her hands. She turned and threw one at Julian. He caught it, but bent backwards from the force of her throw. “We need to work on that as well,” she said in a cold voice. “Do you ever warm up?” Julian asked, watching her as she walked around him. “Is there a reason why I should?” she swung her spear at him. Julian blocked it with his own spear as one eyebrow went up. He was very impressed at how strong she was. “It makes you more human, is all.” Carissa kicked him suddenly in the gut. Julian went down hard and when he looked up, she had her foot on his chest and her spear at this throat. “I’m not human, Julian,” she showed her fangs as she snarled at him. “I’m a half-breed. Remember that.” Julian looked over at Lucian who came out to watch the show. Lucian smiled, shrugging his shoulders at him. “You’re a lot of help,” Julian said to Lucian. “This is something you are going to have to do on your own,” Carissa said. “No one is going to help you,” she walked away from Julian. When she was about ten feet from him, she turned back around to face him and said, “Again!” Julian slowly got back up on his feet. She came at him full speed, he wasn’t prepared for her , it happened so quickly, it was all a blur. She picked him up off the 19

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ground with a strong hand around his neck and slammed him into the side of the house. “Your pain is blinding you,” Carissa hissed, showing her sharp teeth and extended fangs that seemed to only get longer. “Learn how to push it away if you want to get your daughter back. You need to get rid of all your feelings!” “You…want…me to be…cold like you?” he gasped for breath as he tried to pull her hand away. “To…be…dead inside?” “I want you to be as strong as I know you can be. You reek of sorrow and selfpity. Both will get you killed. Will it away!” she dropped him, letting him hit the ground hard. Carissa then squatted down in front of him. “From now on, you need to stop thinking as a man and act like a killer. That is what you need to become. That is what will get Alina back!” Julian coughed as he rubbed his neck. He looked at her noticing the hardness in her face, the cold, emotionless eyes. He suddenly saw her pain as if it was his own, saw what she fought so hard to hide. He kept the eye contact with her as she stepped back and he stood back up. He closed his eyes, willing the tension in his body away along with any emotions he felt. He listened to all around him. Felt more than sensed. Smelled how close she was. His mind let go of everything and focused only on her. “Now you are ready,” she said when he opened his eyes. She took two large steps towards him and her arms swung out, going right for his face. Julian ducked the fast blow and gave a hard hit to her side, just inches below her ribs. The blow was hard enough to kill a mortal man but for Carissa, it only knocked the wind out of her. “Nice,” she said breathing hard. “Very nice.” Julian made a run at her, which since Carissa was bent over, gave her the edge. She swung around and knocked him off his feet, landing a hard kick down on his chest. When Julian made to grab her ankle and knock her from her feet, Carissa did a back flip. She landed in a squatting position, watching him. 20

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Julian arched back and flipped himself back up to his own feet, then walked over to her with death in his eyes. Carissa stood up when he got close enough and with all of her power, she hit him in the chest with the palm of her hand. Julian went flying back, hitting the ground and sliding backwards a few feet more. “Son-of-a-bitch!” Lucian said from the doorway. “Told you she was damn good,” Ambrose said with a smile. “God yes,” he said with amazement. “That is damn powerful Ambrose. Very powerful.” Carissa rushed over to Julian before he could get all the way back up. Julian’s eyes changed suddenly. A deep, dark purple covered every inch of his pupils as well as the whites of his eyes. When he got back to his feet, Carissa grabbed him by his throat and swung him around. They exchanged blows. One was hit in the face and the other would do the same. Julian somehow managed to get his arm around her neck, pressing her back hard against his chest. His grip was so strong that she couldn’t break out of it. His fangs lengthened and his cock was hard against her back as he worked to cut her air supply off. Ambrose swung his cane out to stop Lucian from going over and putting a stop it all. “Wait. She will get out of it.” “Is this what you fucking want?” Julian hissed in her ear. “You want me to kill?” Carissa made her move so fast that Julian didn’t even see it coming. She kicked her leg straight up, kicking him in the face. Julian let her go suddenly and she grabbed his wrist, pinning it behind his back and forcing him to his knees. The next move he made surprised everyone. Julian grabbed a hold of her and flipped her over his shoulder, slamming her down hard on the ground. The wind was knocked out of her as he covered her body with his own, pinning her to the ground.

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Ambrose stood up, clapping his hands and smiling. “Very good! You channeled all your emotions just as you needed to, Julian. I think further physical training for you will not be needed after all,” he smiled at Lucian. “How about a drink, Lucian?” Julian kept his eyes on Carissa. He felt every sweet inch of her body as she breathed hard under him. He closed his eyes as hunger raged hard and heavy in his body. Not only did he want to sink his fangs into her and drink, he wanted to sink his aching cock into her as well. “You are still not ready for that,” she breathed out. Julian didn’t say anything to her sudden comment as he opened his eyes. He looked at her hard, and then pushed himself up to his feet. He worked so hard to suppress the need that washed over him. He watched her while she also got back on her feet and her cold look didn’t go over well with him. Julian didn’t understand how she could be so cold and so aloof when he was hot as hell! Carissa turned her back on him and took two steps towards the house, but stopped when he grabbed her hard by the arm. On instinct, Carissa twisted her own arm and grabbed his arm back, but it backfired. Julian managed to twist back out of it and pin both of her arms behind her back with her body pressed hard against him as they leaned on the side of the house. “How can you be so cold and distant when I am raging?” he yelled at her. “Because I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve like you do,” she answered him calmly. “No matter what you call yourself, or what you try to do, Carissa,” he hissed, “a part of you is still human. At one time you used to smile, laugh, and have a carefree side. You used to have a fucking heart!” he growled. Carissa opened her mouth to say something back to him but Julian quieted her. His mouth slammed down on hers, giving her a heated kiss that reached her all the way down to her toes.

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The kiss deepened as arms wrapped around a waist and fingers skimmed into hair. Heat and need hit Julian but before he could fully enjoy it, it was over. Carissa broke the kiss and pulled out of the embrace. “You’re not ready for any of that,” she told him again, breathing hard. “I think I know what I am and am not ready for,” he took a step toward her when she moved away, but she backed away further. Frowning, she put her hands up to him. “Then maybe I’m not.” Julian watched her walk back into the house, not able to go after her. He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. “Don’t fight what is right in front of you, Julian,” Ambrose said from the doorway. “If you do, then only more pain and suffering will be the outcome.”

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! ! Dibqufs!6! Carissa stood under the shower spray, letting the hot water run down her head to her bruised body. She hung her head down so the water would beat on her stiff neck as she thought about the kiss. It was so unexpected that she really didn’t know how to act, didn’t know what to think. “You are not taking care of yourself.” She closed her eyes with a groan loud enough for Ambrose to hear. She heard him sit down on the toilet seat and waited for more to come. “I see more than you want me to. I also see what you try so hard to hide. The more you work at pushing him away, the more he is going to work at breaking that shell you have around you. Remember that.” Carissa closed her eyes when the door closed, then reached out of the shower to grab her switchblade on the counter. She pushed the button and the blade popped open. She looked at the sliver blade as the water beat on her skin, waiting for the pressure to finish its buildup. “No one can break the shell,” she said softly. She watched as she cut her wrist with the sharp blade, closing her eyes while the pressure dripped out with the blood. When she opened her eyes, a single tear slipped down her check, mixing with the hot water. For the first time in years, loneliness hit her. The words that Julian spoke hit home as sharp as her knife. She used to be happy and carefree. Used to care for others

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and did what needed to be done out of loyalty, such as what she was doing for Ambrose now. All of this was out of loyalty to him, nothing more and nothing less. When the water started to cool, she turned it off and closed her wound. She wrapped a towel around her body and stood in front of the mirror as her reflection came into view. Julian was right, she thought, she did look cold and withdrawn. Not like the person she used to be at all. Carissa jumped when someone knocked on the bathroom door. “Yes?” “Corbin is fixing a large lunch,” Tempest said through the door, “if you wanted to eat?” Carissa took a deep breath. “I can’t tonight. I need to go out.” She dressed in a sexy thong and a matching lace bra. She took her long coat from the hook, slipped it on, and buttoned it all the way up to her neck and stepped into her boots,. She looked at herself again as she pulled the hood over her damp head. Sad, emotionless eyes greeted her in the mirror as she contemplated what she was about to go out and do. She walked out of the bathroom and headed right for the front door. She felt Ambrose’s eyes on her back as she walked, which just seemed to add more weight to her shoulders and even more guilt. Julian didn’t say a word but watched her walk out of the house. When he looked down at his daughter, she was looking at him with that hard expression on her little face. He smiled and she just gave him a large yawn. “That is love,” he said to her. “That is going to be a smart girl there,” Ambrose said. “She sees and I think understands more than what we give her credit for.” Julian looked at Ambrose, and for once understood what the old man was saying. He walked over to the bassinette and put Paris in, tucking the blankets around her. “I think I will go out as well. If Danny calls, let me know. He is out looking for information on Renzo.” 25

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“Will do,” Lucian said. “But I really expect to hear from Denver sometime soon. Or at least he is due for a visit.” “Well, I’ll have my cell.” Carissa walked the streets looking for someone who could help her take away the coldness she felt within herself, someone to help show her how to be human again. She wiped at tears that kept falling down her face. When she thought about it, she couldn’t recall a moment when she cried, couldn’t remember the last time that emotion affected her. It was almost as if her heart were melting into something unseen. “Hey baby.” Carissa stopped walking and looked over at the young blonde leaning against a wall. He smiled at her and Carissa walked over to him. She let him lead her back into the dark part of an alley where he pushed her up against the wall. Carissa kissed him hard as he picked her up, pressing his body into hers. His hands started to skim down her body, pressing his hips into hers in a suggestive manner. She closed her eyes and moaned as his lips touched her neck and fingers worked to unbutton her coat. Tears continued to fall down her face as she let this man slowly undress her, all the while her thoughts were on Julian. Carissa wondered what it would feel like to have his arms wrapped around her body, undressing her, his lips kissing her neck and heating her blood, his body about to be the first to enter hers. “If I were you, pal, I would stop. Now!” Carissa opened her eyes and saw Julian standing behind the blonde. The look in his eyes as he stared at her chilled the heat running in her blood. He grabbed the blonde by the back of his shirt shoved him way, making sure he understood with a look not come back. Carissa shrugged her coat back onto her shoulders, looking at Julian as if he had lost his mind. “Now, we finish this,” he told her in his rough voice. Julian closed the distance between them, grabbed the front of her coat, yanked her to him, and kissed her deeply. His hands went into her long hair, holding her as her

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hands went around his waist. Their tongues did a small duel for dominance over the other as both of them fought to get even closer. The kiss ended just as fast as it began with both of them breathing hard. They stared at each other, both trying to come to grips with the sudden need raging within them. Julian was the first to move, he looked as if he was dying. Giving her another sharp yank with her own coat, he slipped it off her shoulders letting it drop to the ground. Carissa went to work on his jeans as Julian yanked his shirt over his head. As soon as his cock was free, Julian pushed her back up against the wall, kissing her deeply as her hands wrapped around his hardness. His hunger raged out of control. With her cool hands stroking his hot pulsating hardness, it was almost more than he could bear. Both of their eyes, his metallic silver and hers a brilliant purple, met as if they were telling the other of the unspoken need within. Julian ripped her thin thong panties from her body and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pressed his body to her, never breaking eye contact. Heat unlike anything he had ever felt washed over him. She burned him like nothing he had ever felt before and all he could think about was getting more. Julian took hold of his cock and rubbed the head against her oversensitive mound, groaning at the heat and wetness that seemed to call to him even more. In a slow, tantalizing movement, he circled his hips as he pushed his way inside her. Her swollen clit grazed the top of his cock as he went in, pushing her into a sudden orgasm that had her screaming his name. “Don’t go slow,” she moaned out. “Hard. I need you to take me hard. Please stop this burning pain!” Julian took hold of her hips and continued in a circular motion to slowly impale her. He wanted to feel each muscle stretch for him, to feel each inch of her tight heat wrap around him like a glove. He didn’t stop or hesitate when he felt the thin barrier of her virginity give, or even at her sudden intake of breath. All he thought about was pushing his way inside of her slowly, enjoying each and every second of this and taking her like the animal she pushed him to be earlier. Julian knew she wanted him to take 27

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her fast and hard, to quickly ease her pain and take it all away, but he wanted to make this last. He wanted to feel, more than anything, and knew that Carissa was the one who could make him feel again. He knew, deep down in his soul that she was the only one who could bring him back to life again and renew the love buried deep in his soul. However, when her teeth suddenly sank into his neck and she began to drink from him, he lost the small bit of his control that he had. He held her against the wall and gripped her hips with an almost brutal strength, moaning from the sweet pleasure her drinking gave him. He moved with the suction from her lips, moved his hips in hard, powerful, upward circular strokes, pounding into her like a man possessed. Carissa closed the wounds on his neck just as another sharp orgasm hit her. She screamed out her release as her pussy clamped down on him hard. Julian moaned at the intense pleasure that slammed throughout his body. He felt his own release lurking, waiting for something yet to come. “Do it,” she moaned in his ear. “Drink from me. Take it all way. Please!” she cried softly. Her need was apparent with the way she said please to him, so Julian opened his eyes and sank his teeth deep into her neck. He drank hard from her, giving her another reason for her scream while she tightened up on him, throwing him over the edge. Julian closed the wounds quickly as his own release suddenly shot out of him. He came hard, rearing his head back and roaring out. The only time he had ever felt that kind of pleasure from feeding was with Serena. Serena. The sudden thought of her and his missing daughter was like cold water in the face. He pulled out and away from Carissa as quickly as he could, fixing his clothes and trying not to look her in the face. Having Serena on his mind so suddenly after what had happened made guilt wash over him. Guilt that he would have sex with another woman so quickly after the funeral of the one he had loved so deeply. Carissa saw and felt his sudden withdrawal. She turned her back on him, putting her coat back on. She knew what was going on in his mind, saw the pain before he could hide it and guilt washed over her. She shouldn’t have let his sudden need 28

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overwhelm her, shouldn’t have let her own selfish need be the reason why she was here in the first place, shouldn’t have let her weakness for him allow things to go as far as they just did. A fresh set of tears fell from her eyes, but instead of letting him see them, she left. She dodged out of the alley so fast that even if Julian had wanted to say something to her, he couldn’t. She moved just like she had when she grabbed him by the throat during their training session, fast and in the blink of an eye. “Carissa!” he yelled into the night. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. By the time Julian reached home, a fresh thunderstorm was brewing. Lightning and thunder crashed in the distance, along with a cool breeze. When he walked inside, he knew right away that Carissa wasn’t back. He could also tell by the way that Ambrose looked at him that the man knew something had happened between the two of them. “Answer this question, Julian,” Ambrose said, linking his fingers together. “Don’t answer it for me, but for you. Would she really want you to live with her memory only? Or would Serena want you to live?” he stood up and smiled. “Think hard about what is right and what you are going to need. Your children can do only so much to fill that lonely spot inside of you. The rest has to come from you.” **** Carissa sat perched on top of a roof, one of the many that she called her safe houses. She was dressed in her usual leather pants and tank top from a stash within the house. The wind blew at her coat and hair as she watched the sun rise off in the distance. This was the only time that she had to see a real sunrise. She watched with an aloof expression on her face as the tears fell from her eyes. As much as she tried to avoid it, her heart was breaking after all and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.

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Dibqufs!7! For almost a month, Carissa stayed away from the house. Lucian and Julian worked under Ambrose’s instruction, but Julian found that his mind kept going over what Ambrose said to him. He knew that the old man was right, but still found it very hard to do. He didn’t want to betray Serena’s memory and felt that that was exactly what he had done when he had sex with Carissa. He felt that each and every time his mind turned to Carissa part of what was left of Serena was being washed away. When he was alone, he would talk to the wind as if Serena was standing there, which would get him hard again. But Serena was not standing in the room listening to him. She was gone and wouldn’t be back, ever. Yet for some strange reason, he could still smell her, still see her smile at him, or feel her touch his arm in the gentle, affectionate manner that was all hers. “I try, Serena,” he said to himself as he stood in the spot where he burned the body. “I still try to tell myself that you are gone, but I can’t do it. I don’t want to face this alone,” a single bloody tear fell out of his eye as he looked up to the night sky. “I don’t want to feel for her what I feel for you.” “You can never feel for Carissa what you felt for Serena,” Tempest said from the back door. Julian looked over his shoulder, letting her see all the raw pain in his eyes. She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his body and hugging him tenderly. For the first time since she met him, Julian let Tempest comfort him the way he should have been comforted the night Serena died. 30

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When the embrace ended, Tempest wiped the tears from his face and smiled gently at him. With his help, she sat down on the ground with him, noticing that it was the same spot that they had used for Serena’s funeral. Being pregnant and so close to having the baby, watching her squat to the ground made Julian smile. The first real smile she had seen in weeks from him. “Laugh all you want,” she joked, smiling, “but when I start labor, I will make sure you are there to hear the screaming.” He gave her his most charming smile. “I wouldn’t miss it.” “Julian, I haven’t said much about any of this. Mostly because it isn’t my place or business, but I have to say something now,” she waited until he looked at her before she continued. “Serena was part of what completed you. But even with her, I saw that there was something missing. It’s like Paris in a sense. She won’t be complete until Alina is with her.” “I can’t do this until Alina is home,” he told her in a tired voice. “Yes, you can,” she shot back in as much of an authoritative voice as she could. “In fact, you have already started this. But who is going to finish it?” Julian stood up, running his hands over his face and back into his hair. He paced, thinking about all that she said to him but felt so helpless to stop it. He just wanted his life back. He wanted Serena back and wanted both of his daughters in their room. Instead, Serena was gone and one of his girls was missing, suffering in the same way as Paris had suffered before Ambrose and Carissa came. All he had were a few memories to pass on to them. Memories of their mother, nothing else. “I feel…” he started. “You feel that if you go on living, then you are betraying her,” Tempest finished for him. She struggled to her feet, taking hold of his hand for help. “I got to know her also, Julian. Serena wasn’t the type of woman who would want you to sit around and dream of the past, a past that can never be. She would want you to go on, to find someone who could fill the black hole inside of you. Find Alina. Find the justice that is

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needed for your peace of mind, but also find someone to finish completing you,” she sighed. “Find someone to love you.” Tempest hugged Julian again before she walked back inside the house. Julian looked up at the night sky when he was suddenly hit with a sharp pain that ripped through his stomach. As fast as it came, it was gone, even before he had time to wonder where it came from or why he felt it to begin with. “Hey!” Corbin yelled from the doorway. “Paris is getting fussy again.” “I’m coming.” **** Carissa watched from the top of a building, as a young boy, not quite a man followed two cars. Since she left the house, she had been working at tracking down Renzo. The faster she got the baby back, the faster she could get away from Julian, which meant that she would get her heart back faster as well. Something she wanted badly, yet also dreaded. Two cars pulled to a halt. The boy hid himself behind a building and pulled out a phone. Carissa watched as the doors opened on both cars and a man shoved another man out of the back seat of one car. He looked like hell. The fresh scent of blood had the sharp incisors in her mouth hurting to dig into flesh. She watched as they kicked the man several times, then dragged him to his feet and hit him some more in his bloody face. Carissa could hear their laughter as they beat the man. Carissa moved quickly and jumped down from the rooftop. She landed with a very soft thud, walking over to the group. She had counted at least six or seven men, four of which smelled of beer. “You would think being the son, he would have more fight in him,” one laughed. “Is this a party you have to be invited to,” Carissa asked, stepping into the streetlight, cocking her head to one side, “or can anyone join?”

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“Well, well. Look what we have here boys,” said one of the men about to hit the bloody man in the face again. “A play toy.” They dropped the man, letting him fall without a care. Four of them walked over to her, smiling and licking their lips. “If I am going to play, I should at least get to have a toy,” she said sweetly. “I don’t think so, sweets.” “Then I guess I won’t play nice,” she smiled showing her sharp teeth. “But then I have always been told not to play with my food.” She moved fast, spinning around to face the one that slipped up behind her, grabbing him around the throat and using his own gun to shoot the man standing in front of her. He went down with a thud and a shocked expression on his face. The others looked at her with the same dumbfounded expression on their faces. “Who else wants to play?” she asked sweetly. One stood up, throwing his beer to the ground. “I’m going to kill you now, bitch!” Carissa smiled, letting them all see her fangs. “Come and try,” she winked at him. “Boy.” She taunted as she held tight to the man struggling in her arms. Two rushed her. Carissa snapped the neck of the man she was holding and picked him up and threw him at the two who were running at her. They fell backwards as she kicked a large pipe up, catching it in her hand. She swung it around in a wide circle, hitting one man in the face and snapping his neck as well. “Fine you fucking bitch! We’ll play hardball now,” yelled the other man. “Then stop talking about it,” she taunted back at him. “No one likes a whining kid pretending to be a man.” He stormed her but stopped when she tossed the pipe hard at him. When he looked up, she jumped up and came down with her fist backed up with all of her body weight, breaking his nose. The snapping of a whip had her turning around fast. One of the beer drinkers was snapping it with a cruel smile on his face. 33

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“I like the whips, baby. Care to find out how much?” Carissa bent over, pulling a knife out from her boot. “I prefer knives,” she said as she threw it at him, sinking it into his throat. Another one tried to come up behind her but Carissa turned halfway back around and kicked him so hard in the chest that he went flying back onto the car. When she looked at the remaining man, her eyes changed to dark purple as her hunger for blood increased. “Fuck this!” The last yelled. Carissa walked over to the first guy that she hit, who happened to have a broken nose, and pulled him up by his hair. Blood poured from his broken nose as she forced him up to his feet. “Guess your friends didn’t want to play anymore,” she smiled. “Fuck you, bitch!” he grunted in pain. “Now is that a nice thing to say?” she yanked hard on his hair. “Where is the baby?” “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” “Oh, I think you do,” she yanked on his hair, pulling his head back and exposing his neck more. “And I do have ways of finding out. Want to know what they are?” she showed him her fangs, hissing at him while she watched the fear in his eyes. “Now I am going to ask this one more time,” she licked at the vein that pulsed quickly against his neck, “where is the baby?” “Renzo,” he answered with a scared voice. “I know that,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “Where is he at, you dumb ass?” “He moves around all the time. He’s moving tonight, but I don’t know where. We were just hired for this job.” “And what job is that?” “To get rid of me,” the man who had been beaten put in. “I know too much.” Carissa looked at him and then back at the man she was holding. “I want the baby.” 34

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“I told you, you crazy bitch, I don’t know where he is.” “Oh, I think you do.” She jerked the man to the ground, and then sank her teeth into his neck hard. He screamed out in pain as she drank from him. “You better tell her.” Carissa closed her eyes as the voice she heard sent tremors racing down her spine. Of all people to find her now, Julian was not the one she wanted. “Otherwise she is going to drain you dry,” Julian said with humor in his voice. “All right!” he screamed. “He is moving to the docks at the end of the week!” Carissa released him and stood up with her hand still full of his hair. She looked Julian in the eye and watched him walk over to the beaten man. Her heart was beating hard, but whether from feeding or from seeing him, she didn’t know. “I told you all I know. Let me go!” he begged. Julian looked back at her after looking over the man on the ground. Neither said a word to the other. “Look, bitch…” Carissa snapped his neck so fast the man didn’t even see it coming. She let him drop to his feet, still looking at Julian. “I don’t like being called bitch,” she told them all in that dead voice that Julian was starting to recognize as her shell of protection.

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!

Dibqufs!8! “She’s beautiful, Julian,” Denver said as Corbin probed around on his rib cage. “I managed to see her before they found me.” Julian leaned against the doorframe of the upstairs guest room with his arms crossed over his chest. He watched Corbin, noticing each wince that came from Denver. “She looks so much like Serina,” Denver went on. “All I wanted to do was pick her up and stop the crying. I found out that that’s all she has been doing. Ouch!” “Three are cracked, and that cut on your cheek is going to need some stitches,” Corbin said. “Other than that, I would say they did a pretty good job of beating the shit out of you.” Denver smiled and winced in pain. “Still sharp as always I see.” “At least some things don’t change much,” Julian remarked in a shallow voice. Corbin left the room to get his first aid kit to finish treating Denver. Julian hung his head down as a fresh wave of guilt washed over him. “That girl was good,” Denver said. Julian snapped his head up. He saw the gentle look on Denver’s face and it tore at his gut. “I know my sister, Julian. She wouldn’t want you sulking around, alone. Serina is gone and you are going into a war with my father for your daughter. Don’t let her death and guilt at needing another woman kill what is left inside of you.”

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“I didn’t protect them,” he told Denver softly. “Not Serina, not the girls.” He groaned, rubbing his face in a defeated manner and said. “Your father took everything away.” “Oh, not everything,” Denver smiled. “He didn’t get Paris. He didn’t kill you.” “Okay,” Corbin said as he returned. “You go and get Paris,” he told Julian. “I will get him all fixed up and when I’m done, you can bring her in. She needs to see her uncle again, and you need to feed her.” Julian smiled and walked out as Corbin started to bind Denver’s ribs. He walked down to the nursery and noticed right away that Paris wasn’t crying. When he slowly crept inside and looked in, the sight before him melted his heart. Carissa was sitting in the rocking chair dressed in a simple white tank top with matching cotton shorts. Her hair was brushed to a soft shine, and Paris had her little hand fisted in it. Carissa was smiling down at the baby, rocking her gently and humming a song. She was also feeding her a bottle. The sight of her holding Paris all bundled in one the baby blankets Serena had made did something to him. He felt a sudden calm wash over him, something that he hadn’t felt since he lost Serena. “How long are you going to watch us?” Carissa asked, still looking down at Paris. “Thanks for helping him,” he said softly. Carissa stood up, taking the empty bottle out of the baby’s mouth. She pried the fingers from her hair and handed Paris over to Julian. When she looked at him with her sliver eyes and purple pupils, Julian saw the sadness that she worked so hard to hide. “You’re welcome,” she replied just as softly. She patted him on the shoulder and walked out of the room. That simple touch had Julian craving for more. He longed for her touch and didn’t even realize it. Paris decided then to make a loud noise and squirm. Julian looked down at her, smiling. “Your uncle wants to see you,” he said kissing her on top of her head.

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Carissa walked upstairs and knew right away that something big was happening. Tempest was standing in the kitchen and Corbin was yelling at Lucian. Carissa noticed how Tempest was leaning on the counter and breathing hard. Her labor was beginning. “Are you two going to stand there yelling or are you going to get her in her room?” Carissa asked calmly. “Corbin, get me something that will protect the bed. Bloodmates tend to bleed heavily when giving birth.” Carissa walked over to Tempest and helped her walk back down the stairs. Corbin busied himself with getting plastic bags and towels. Within seconds, they had the top layer of the bed covered and a thin sheet draped over her legs. “How many births have you helped with?” Lucian asked with a worried expression on his face. “Enough to know what I am doing,” she answered him coolly. “What do I do?” Corbin asked nervously from the doorway. “Clean up the blood in your kitchen,” Carissa answered him. “Lucian will be the one needed here.” Tempest screamed as the first hard contraction hit her. Julian rushed in just as Carissa was getting ready to examine Tempest. “This is going to go very fast,” Carissa said. She looked under the sheet, parting Tempest’s legs. “Julian! I need something to suck out the baby’s mouth and some scissors. And you better find them fast.” A small amount of blood gushed out, hitting Carissa’s chest and face. She moved her hands to the top of Tempest’s stomach and felt around. “The baby is sideways. Lucian, give her some blood to replace what she just lost. With each gush like that, you need to make her take some of yours,” Julian rushed back in and Carissa looked at him. “That is what should have been done for Serena.” “What are you going to do about the baby?” Lucian asked as he cut open his wrist and shoved it at Tempest.

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“I’m going to move it. You need to hold her down and Julian needs to help me,” she moved up on her knees and leaned over Tempest. “I can’t help you with the pain, so you scream as much as you want. Scream at me if you need to, but if I don’t move the baby so you can push it out, you both will die. Understand?” “Please!” Tempest cried. “Don’t let my baby die!” She screamed as another powerful contraction hit her. As she screamed, Carissa pushed her hand inside of Tempest and used her other hand on top of Tempest’s stomach to help move the baby around. Tempest screamed even louder and tried to buck them all away from her. Lucian closed his eyes as he held her down. He couldn’t watch, knowing that she was suffering in such a way and that he couldn’t help. “Okay, okay,” Carissa soothed Tempest. “The head is down. Now with this next one, push for me. Push like hell!” Tempest screamed as she pushed hard. Lucian changed his position and sat behind her, helping her to sit up when the time came. Carissa moved one of the legs on her shoulder and Julian held the other one. It took three more pushes before the head started to show. Like she had told them, the birth was going fast. “Okay, hold on,” Carissa said. “Don’t want you to tear. When I tell you, you give me another hard push. We’re almost done,” she used her finger and worked it around the head. “Now!” Tempest screamed bloody murder as she pushed with everything she had. Julian watched in amazement as the head slowly came out. “That’s it!” Carissa said smiling. “Keep it just like that!” Within seconds, the baby came sliding out with a fresh amount of blood. Lucian quickly gave his wrist for Tempest to drink as he watched Carissa suck out the baby’s nose and mouth, then cut the cord. She rubbed a towel over the face and body, causing the baby to make the first cry. Carissa wrapped it up in a fresh towel and with a smile on her face, handed it over to Tempest. “You have a very nice looking boy,” Carissa smiled. 39

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“Oh, thank you!” Tempest cried. She wrapped her arms around the baby as tears ran of joy ran down her face. “Thank you so much!” “What are you going to call him?” Julian asked, smiling. Tempest smiled down at the baby, then up at Julian. “Isaiah Julian Deluca.” Carissa smiled. “That is a good, strong name.” It took Carissa almost two hours to get the heavy bleeding to stop entirely. During that whole time, she didn’t leave the woman. After Lucian took his son to get cleaned up, Carissa took over the job of giving Tempest more blood, donated by Julian. She also helped her into a warm bath as Julian and Corbin went to work at cleaning up the mess on the bed. By the time Carissa was done, she had both mother and son clean and sleeping in the bed next to each other. It was a sight worth everything. “You need to clean up, my dear,” Ambrose said from behind her. “You missed all the fun,” she said back to him in a joking manner. “Renzo is on the move, as well as doing some more disgusting things.” Carissa closed the door and turned around, facing Ambrose. “What has he done this time?” Ambrose gave her a tired smile and said, “Looks as if I am the last of the board.” Carissa looked at him with shock all over her face. “What?” “Renzo is working with someone. Someone with a lot of power,” he sighed. “They took out everyone but me. I would be gone as well if I were not here with you.” “Then I don’t have time to be messing around anymore. This man must be taken out,” she snarled in anger. “Now!” “We need to start working on our plan of action before that man comes to this house. We now have children to protect.” “Renzo Ferrari will not live past this month,” her hatred showed in her eyes as she spoke. “That is my promise.”

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Dibqufs!9! Carissa spent a good thirty minutes in the shower washing the blood from her body and soaking away the sluggishness. Ambrose had already gone over some plans with Lucian and Julian about what they needed to do now. The threat that Renzo represented was becoming too dangerous to put off. They all needed to act and to do it quickly. With the sudden death of the elders, everyone would be looking to Ambrose for the answers. Something he didn’t have to give at this time. It bothered him deeply to know that someone was out there with this crazy man, helping him to bring their whole race down. The house was dead quiet when she walked into the kitchen, wrapped in her towel. All traces of Tempest going into labor were gone, and as usual, the kitchen was spotless. “If you are looking for that drink, I have the bottle.” Carissa turned around slowly. Julian was sitting in the dark with a bottle of Scotch and a glass. She walked over to the table and sat down slowly. Julian was in a mood that she couldn’t read. He slid the bottle over to her. She stopped it and took a deep drink from the bottle, not taking her eyes from him. “You did good tonight,” he told her in a weary voice. “They would have died if you weren’t here.”

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“Even you would have been able to handle it,” she replied cautiously. Julian laughed a venomous laugh. He stood up, snatching the bottle from her. “I am about as useless as they come.” “You are only as useful as you want to be. You are letting your emotions rule again.” “What do I have if not my emotions?” he spat out. “I am only half of a man who cannot protect anyone or anything!” Carissa stood up and faced him. “I see a man with a broken soul. If you want to live, then live. If you want to feel pity for yourself, then do it. Stop blaming yourself for what someone else did,” he looked down at the ground with a snarl on his face and Carissa slapped him hard in the face. “Stop acting like a fucking victim and be the man we all know you are! Stop pissing everything you have away and live!” She took a step away but was stopped by his hand on her arm. Julian yanked her back to him hard, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “You piss me off, excite me, and bring out a hunger in me that I thought was long gone. How can you drive me out of my fucking mind with nothing but the need to touch you?” he looked her up and down. “You even make me want to bare your ass and beat some emotion into you.” “Maybe that tells you that you are not as dead as you try to be,” she answered him calmly. Julian shook her. “Don’t give me your cold as ice fucking routine. I’m sick of watching you walk around here like nothing matters. You feel what is between us just as much as I do.” “Maybe I just follow your lead.” “That’s bullshit!” he growled. She managed to push away from his embrace, putting some distance between them, “Let me ask you something. If I left, would anyone miss me? Would you even notice that I was gone?” Tears formed in her eyes and this time she didn’t work at hiding them. “Serena is gone, and you miss her deeply. I understand that pain. But who is going to be around to understand my pain? Who will be here to miss me when I am 42

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gone?” More tears fell from her eyes and she let them. For the first time in years, Carissa let someone see the pain that she normally pushed away. “I look around this house and I see the one thing that I am missing; the one thing that I always dreamed of having and used to pray for at night when I was little. They see it. Lucian used to tease me about it, but you have never seen it,” she took a deep, shaky breath as a fresh set of tears fell and looked him in the eye. “I can’t go on like this anymore. You want to know why I am the way I am? It’s because of you, Julian. My heart turned to stone the day you forgot I was here. The day a little girl who loved you more than life itself, heard how much you couldn’t stand the sight of her. You killed the one thing that was human left within me and turned me into what I am now. So don’t stand here acting like you’ve lost everything in this damn world. You have your heart and a family that loves you. I have shit!” Julian watched her walk away from him. He took a deep breath and thought about what she said. He thought about the times when she used to come around, recalling the young girl that followed him and Lucian around all the time. He remembered the day he said those things. He was telling Lucian how he couldn’t stand how Carissa was always following him around, how it drove him crazy. He also recalled how after he said that, she didn’t come around any more. Then her mother was killed and that was the last he ever heard about her. Until she showed up with Ambrose a month ago, Julian had forgotten all about her. He closed his eyes and groaned. What happened between them in the alley only seemed to have hurt her further. She had given him everything and he took it without giving her one thing in return. Julian left the kitchen and stormed down to her room. He didn’t knock on the door, just opened it and locked it behind him. He saw the pain in her eyes and it tore at him. How could he have inflicted so much pain on her without even knowing it? Ever since he met her, it seemed that all he did was hurt her. Even now. She was reaching out to him and all he did was slap her in the face with his sorrow over Serena. He hadn’t even seen her until now. 43

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He walked over to her, taking her face in his hands. He looked deeply into her eyes, saw the pain that she hid so well over the years, saw the hurt that he brought upon her, and even saw the love she still felt for him. Julian kissed her gently. His lips brushed over hers, tasting the salt from her tears. Quickly he pulled his shirt from his body, deepening the kiss. His arms went around her body, pulling the towel away. She felt so good in his arms that Julian knew she was his other half. The rest of what he needed in order to feel complete. Carissa worked hard on his jeans to get them off, yanking them down his hips, only breaking the kiss to go down to her knees as she followed the jeans down. Watching her with hooded eyes, Julian’s heated gaze followed her as she took his cock in her hands. Stroking him up and down, she slowly took the head into her mouth. Julian helplessly watched her mouth as the feel of it almost brought him to his knees. Closing his eyes, he moaned in agony as she took him deep into her mouth, letting the head touch the back of her throat. He thought he would lose it when he felt her teeth graze his heated flesh, knew that he had never felt anything like this before, and might not feel it ever again. The urge to be inside her heat was driving him crazy. His eyes changed color as his fangs lengthened. He grabbed her, pulling her to her feet and kissing her hard. Julian was quick in turning her around and bending her over the bed, coming up behind her. He nudged her legs wider apart but kept her on her feet. Using his hand he pushed the head of his cock to the tight entrance, groaning at the feel of her swollen, wet mound. She was so tight, so wet and hot that he thought he would burn up with the first touch. Slowly he inched himself into her. Slowly he watched as his hardness parted her tight pussy, sinking inside to the max. He closed his eyes in bliss as he touched her deeply.

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In a steady rhythm Julian moved. In and out he went, keeping his eyes closed and feeling each sensation that ran through his body. He moved her long hair over her shoulder, licking at the strong pulse on the back of her neck. She moved her hips back to meet his steady thrusts as he moved his hands down her front, over her breasts to squeeze the hard peeks of her nipples to her flat belly, then down. With one hand, he parted her swollen lips, exposing her hard clit. In slow, tantalizing circles, he rubbed the small nub. At the same time, he licked at the pulse that seemed to call to him. “Please!” she begged him. Julian felt her shudder around him as he sank his teeth into her gently. His own orgasm ripped out of him in a sweet agony as he drank. This time, this one moment with her, was so different. There was no rush, no harsh release, only a sweet emotion. **** Carissa stood against the wall watching Julian as he slept. She was dressed in her black leather pants, boots, and her matching leather vest that was tied tightly up the front. She held her coat draped in her arms as she watched him. She knew what she needed to do was important. Not just for him, but for herself also. She needed to break away while she still had what was left of her heart, if what she felt was her heart. Neither was ready for what was happening between them, and his grief was still too fresh. He felt as if he needed someone to help take his pain away, but he needed to do that himself. Quietly she walked to the front door leaving it slightly open as she walked out. The sun was setting as she walked through the door, but that wasn’t what stopped her. Ambrose stood in the shadows watching her. Carissa lowered her head to him in a manner of respect. “I have to do this,” she said to him softly with pain in her voice. “I know,” he replied to her in the same tone. Ambrose watched as she walked out into the night closing the door behind her. “You be careful.”

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! Dibqufs!:! For three days no one in the house heard a word from Carissa. The only one in the house that didn’t seem affected by this was Ambrose. He told them over and over again that she was out doing what she was good at. She was out finding Alina, which is what had brought her here in the first place. With two small children in the house, no one was getting much sleep but most were happy. The one thing that everyone seemed to notice was how cranky and fussy Paris was. It seemed that she was in tune with what was going on between her father and Carissa. “You care for her?” Denver asked walking out in the backyard with Paris in his arms. “I see it on your face. You are worried for her.” Julian looked up at the sky. “She made me feel alive again. Something I thought would never happen after Serena.” “We all need that Julian. All I have now are you and the girls. They complete me as a family, but even I know I am going to need someone to fill that one gap in my heart. I know you loved my sister, but it is time to move on.” Julian was about to answer him when Lucian rushed out. “Danny called. Renzo is at the docks and Alina is with him.” Julian looked at Denver, and Denver smiled at him. “Here is your chance. Go bring my niece back home where she belongs. Corbin and I can take care of things here.”

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Ambrose walked out, looking grimly at Julian. “The time has come. This is what we have prepared you for. Go and put an end to this!” **** “What a shit hole!” Lucian said in a low voice. “Well, the bastard always did like to stay low,” Julian smiled. Lucian snarled. “This isn’t low. This is pathetic.” Julian laughed. “Well aren’t we the fucking poet tonight?” Both men were on a rooftop laying flat on their bellies watching the building that they knew Renzo was hiding in. “Come on, man!” Lucian went on. “Why would you hide out in a shit hole like this, and with a baby? This man has no sense but the one on his ass.” Julian just shook his head and smiled. “So how do you think we should do this?” “No clue!” “Well, now I am glad I brought you along,” Julian smarted. “You are so much help.” “I do try,” Lucian grinned back. Julian suddenly got very serious. “Hear that?” “Yeah,” Lucian cocked his head to one side. “She’s crying.” “Denver said that she cries a lot. I bet she is having the same trouble that Paris did with feeding.” Julian said. “And with Renzo being the giving dick he is, I am sure he is giving her just what she needs.” Julian sighed. “Well, we can’t go storming in there. Too many guards.” “And not too many ways we can sneak in either,” Lucian finished for him. “We could walk in and take our chances inside.” Lucian looked at him with a strange expression on his face. “What a great fucking idea. Let’s walk up and knock on the door,” he then smiled sarcastically. “And while you’re at it, try asking him nicely for your daughter back.” “All you had to do was say it was a bad idea.” 47

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“Right now the best thing is for us is to sneak in there and get Alina. When she is safely away from Renzo, we can come back and deal with him.” “Or…you two can come with me without any problems at all.” Both men looked at each other, then looked behind them. One of Renzo’s guards stood behind them with shotgun aimed at them. “Or we could go with him,” Julian remarked, nodding his head. Lucian nodded his head also. “Yeah. That sounds like a good plan to me.” Renzo Ferrari paced the floor with a screaming baby in his arms. He was trying to bounce her along with some shushing, which only seemed to make her cry harder. For the last month, he hadn’t been able to find one thing that would stop the crying or stay in her stomach during feedings. He looked up when five of his guards walked in with Julian and Lucian. Both men had chains wrapped around their wrists, but that wasn’t what made Renzo glare. What made the hate come through his eyes was the sight of Julian. “I see what I was told was true. You lived,” he spit at Julian. “And I see that nothing has changed with you. Still living in a dump trying to justify the killing you do,” Julian looked around the room with disgust on his face. “Did you tell all these loyal men how you killed your daughter? I’m sure they might be interested in knowing what kind of a bastard they are working for.” A few of the men looked at Renzo. He snarled and put the baby down in a laundry basket he’d fixed for a bed. “You killed my daughter,” he spat out. “The day you took her from me was the day you signed her death warrant,” he snarled. “The day I took her from that dump was the day she started to live. But you couldn’t handle that, could you?” his fangs showed as his anger rose within him. “You got off on her suffering.” Renzo motioned with his hand. Julian watched as two men came in with Carissa in hand, one standing on each side of her holding her arms. The cold, aloof expression

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was back on her face, along with something else that neither Julian, nor Lucian could place. “I told you I would take away all that mattered to you the most. You killed my Serina, so you get to watch your whore die.” Julian and Lucian looked at Carissa in shock. Both had seen how well she handled herself in the past, yet here she stood. Renzo’s prisoner. Her eyes were cold and without emotion or life. It took Julian a long moment before he realized that she was up to something. “I am going to rip her apart,” Renzo went on. “Inch by inch. And you are going to watch.” Julian shook his head as they brought Carissa over to stand between them. “You are so full of shit!” Julian said. Renzo glared at him as Carissa looked straight head, standing stiff. “What are you going to do when Alina needs to be bled?” Julian went on. “You going to let her suffer and almost drown like you did Serina?” Carissa looked at Julian then. Her eyes shifted to their dark purple. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” “Excuse me?” he asked in shocked surprise. “She has a point, Julian,” Lucian put in. “Having an argument with Renzo isn’t going to do anything but piss him off more.” “Well, excuse the fuck out of me!” Julian yelled. “Didn’t look like we could do much with our fucking hands in chains.” “I cannot believe how fucking stupid you are!” Carissa said to him. “Now I know just how useless that brain of yours really is.” “Well, I don’t see you doing much good in your condition either,” Julian challenged. “A lot of good you are doing any of us, oh great warrior, with your damn hands chained as well.” She glared at him. “Do you always poke at a bear when it is down and wounded?” her head cocked to one side. “My God, you are a brainless fuck! I never 49

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realized until now how stupid you really are. It’s a good thing I am chained or I would kick your ass harder this time.” “Kick my ass?” Julian yelled at her. “I should have beaten the shit out of you when I had the chance.” “You couldn’t beat your own way out of a wet paper bag if it was on fire,” she said and charged at him. The three started to yell at each other as Renzo and his men watched. Then the guy who found Julian and Lucian walked over and stood in front of Carissa. He placed his hands on his hips, smiling at the three. “Are you three finished yet?” Carissa and Julian stopped talking suddenly. She looked at the guy, then back at Julian. She shrugged her shoulders at Julian, smiled sweetly, then with all her force, head-butted the guy. “I’m just getting started,” she said coldly. Carissa walked over to him, took hold of his neck and wrapped her chained wrists around his neck. “Unlock the chains or I break your neck,” she hissed in his ear. “Don’t let her get away!” Renzo yelled. “Kill the bitch!” The second her wrists were undone, Carissa pulled the semi-automatic gun from his holster and kicked him away. She dropped to one knee and fired several rounds in a large circle as she tossed the keys over her shoulder to Julian and Lucian. Within seconds, both men were free and fighting along side her. Julian watched from the corner of his eye as Renzo tried to move over to where the baby was. Julian grabbed a chair and threw it at his legs, knocking him down. “Watch your back!” Carissa yelled to Julian. Julian turned around as a guard grabbed him by his throat. Julian hissed at him, showing him long, sharp, and very deadly fangs. As Julian dealt with that, Lucian took on two guys of his own. Carissa looked around and spotted the baby still in the basket. She shot off a fresh round, reloaded, then dodged over to her.

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When she stood up, a guard was standing in front of her with a cruel smile on his face. Carissa smiled at him then threw one of the empty guns at him. “Catch that!” she said and when he grabbed the gun, Carissa twirled around. She swung her leg out knocking the man to the ground, and then kicked him as hard as she could in the windpipe. As the fighting continued around her, Carissa walked over to the baby. Alina was screaming and her face was red. Carissa made a shushing sound and picked her up. She looked around as Alina stopped crying suddenly. It seemed that the baby knew she needed to be quiet. Carissa looked around and found a spot she could hide the baby. She took her coat off and wrapped the little girl in it, placing her on the ground. “You hold on a few more minutes and all this will be over,” she said to the baby. “Now don’t make a sound.” She stood up and did a double check to make sure the baby was hidden well, then rushed back to the fighting. When she turned the corner, Renzo was standing there waiting for her. In his hand was a double–edged, serrated knife that had at least an eight-inch blade on it. Renzo smiled cruelly. “Now you are dead, bitch!”

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! ! Dibqufs!21! Carissa did not have time to react or do much of anything. Renzo snarled and shoved the knife as hard and as deep as he could into her stomach. The breath left her in a gasp and she bent over his arm while he shoved the knife even deeper into her, doing tremendous damage to her insides. Julian saw this from across the room. He screamed at her, but Carissa didn’t seem to hear him. She closed her eyes in a silent cry as Renzo pulled the knife out and shoved it again into her, filling the floor with her blood. Lucian managed to grab hold of a fully loaded gun and shot at the guards as Julian ran over to Renzo. He grabbed the back of his jeans and shirt, picked him up, and threw him across the room. All he saw when he looked at the man was death. Renzo stood up slowly, watching Julian. He smiled his cruelest smile, walking around Julian. “You won’t win this time, old man,” Julian said in his coldest and deadliest voice. “Oh, I think my chances are damn good,” he smiled cruelly. “You are going to die here along with that whore who replaced my Serena. However, I guess one bitch is just the same as another to you. As long as you were fed the way you wanted, what difference is there between the two?

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They both walked in a big circle, neither paying any attention to Carissa. By the time Julian saw her move, it was too late. She rushed up on Renzo, clamping a hand over his windpipe. She forced his neck to the side. “I hate being called a bitch,” she said in his ear in a deadly voice. Renzo’s eyes grew as wide as they could with fear as he watched her bring the bloody knife that he had left her in gut up high. Without any kind of mercy, Carissa sank her teeth deep into his neck. Renzo screamed out in pain as she drank from him roughly. When he tried to pull her head from his neck, Carissa shoved the knife into his chest. Julian just stood there watching. He couldn’t say or do anything. When she let go and dropped him, she also fell to her knees. More blood came out of the deep stab wound in her stomach, which seemed to be very strange. Lucian ran to them after he dropped the last guard. He saw how Julian was looking at Carissa who was on the ground in front of Renzo, breathing hard. As soon as Julian came out of his shock, he rushed over to her. He took her face in his hands, noticing how pale she was and how much blood she was losing. “You hang on,” he said. “You hear me? Don’t you die on me!” he screamed at her. “Not now! Not fucking here!” In that moment, Alina started to cry. Lucian followed the sound, finding the hiding spot. He picked her up and she seemed to quiet down some, but not too much. “I think we need to get this little girl home and feed her properly,” Lucian said. “Lucian, you carry Alina. We need to get Carissa home and fast. She is losing too much blood.” The second he stood up with her in his arms, she passed out and went limp. Julian looked down at her pale face, trying to fight off the fear that gripped him. He couldn’t lose her. Not now, not after all of this. **** Julian stood in the shadows outside the bedroom as Ambrose and Corbin went to work on Carissa’s wound along with their family doctor. He could feel the tension in 53

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the room and smell the blood as they worked. He could even, in a strange sense, feel some of her pain. Corbin assisted Ambrose. He cleaned up spots that needed to be cleaned or put a stitch wherever he was told, but mostly he worked to hold her legs down. “Here’s another one,” Ambrose said. “Damn, that knife did some damage. From this wound, it looks like it was made specifically to cause major damage.” Julian could hear the worry in Ambrose’s voice and it scared the hell out of him. When he heard her scream suddenly, he jumped. He watched helplessly as her bloody hand gripped Ambrose’s arm tightly. “I have to baby, I have to,” Ambrose said in a tired, worn out voice that said he was hurting just as much as she was. “God!” she screamed. “Let me die!” “Corbin! Pay attention!” the doctor yelled when she pulled her leg out and almost kicked them off of her. Carissa screamed again, bucking her hips as Ambrose tried to go back to work. Julian felt a tear slip down his check as he watched her go through the pain of being sewn up from the inside out. Pain that couldn’t be taken away with any kind of drug known to man. “I got a few more bags!” Lucian said, barging past Julian with blood in his hands. “I need you to hold her down,” Ambrose demanded. “You too, Julian,” he looked over at the doorway to Julian. “Get your ass in here and help us hold her down so we can get this finished before she dies!” Julian walked into the room and positioned himself on the bed behind her head. He hooked his legs over her arms as Lucian took over the job of pinning her legs down. She was stripped down to her underwear and bra and her whole body was pale white. The knife wound was deeper than what Julian thought and held open so the doctor and Ambrose could fix all the damage. Blood pooled out of her, and Julian had a quick flashback of Serena lying in a pool of her own blood. She had been pale, just like Carissa was now, and not one ounce of life touched her body. Julian felt another tear about to 54

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fall but quickly pushed it away. There was no way in hell he was going to let her see how hurt and how much pain he had inside of him when he saw her pain. She looked up at Julian with both fear and pain on her white face. “Please, please let me die,” she begged him in a whisper. “Forget about me. Let me go, please,” Julian shook his head no at her as the tears fell freely down his face after all. “Please, Julian,” she cried. “Please let me die!” Julian closed his eyes as she screamed again with the pain, screamed at all of them to let her go. “Got it,” Ambrose said. He looked at her face, placing his hand on her forehead. “I got it, baby.” Carissa nodded her head as she took large gulps of breath. She gripped Julian’s legs and tried to relax as the doctor went to work at stitching her up. It took Ambrose and the doctor another hour and a half to stitch everything. It took one hundred and seventy stitches to close up the wound. Tempest helped Ambrose clean her up and put fresh sheets under her. Alone, Tempest put one of Julian’s shirts on her, as well as a loose pair of sweat shorts. By the time Julian came back down to check on her, she had two IV's of blood in her arm and covers up to her chin. She looked pale and helpless to him. Something he was not used to. “She’s going to be fine,” Ambrose said sitting in a corner of the room. “He did some damage, that’s for sure. The kind of knife he used was something I hadn’t seen in a very long time,” he sighed deeply. “Incredible damage.” “He won’t be able to do anymore damage to anyone,” Julian remarked, walking into the room and sitting on the bed next to her. He brushed hair from her eyes, noticing the dark circles around them. “In all the things that she has been through, she never once begged for me to let her go. Never cried out like that. It seemed as if all of her fight was gone. I look to her as a daughter, Julian. I love her as if she was my own, and I do not like to see her in this kind of pain. No matter what I do, I cannot take it away like I would like to,” Ambrose stood up, putting his hand on Julian’s shoulder. “Only you can do that.” 55

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**** Two days went by before Carissa opened her eyes. Right away Ambrose knew that she was different. Not only from the surgery he had performed, but different inside. The dark circles were still under her eyes, but so was a hollow expression; something else that he could not fix. Tempest and Corbin brought her trays of food that she barely touched. She even refused the blood that Lucian gave her. The house became a solemn place. Everyone knew that Carissa was giving up. Even the children seemed to sense the change. Ambrose decided that he was going to be the one to take the tray down to her after a week went by where she still hadn’t eaten a thing. He found her sitting on the side of the bed with her back to the door and shoulders slumped. Ambrose sat the tray down and joined her. “You know, the only time I ever had regret was when I listened to my mother. She knew about the raid coming on our family and sent me away. Only me. But I knew that I should have gone back and saved my sister. My mother was so positive that they would not hurt a small child, but she was wrong. They were scared of what we were and wanted to destroy all of us. My baby sister was killed in front of my mother. I know that because I did go back,” he sighed deeply. “I watched them burn that whole village. I did save one other that night, but not her. Not the one closest to my heart. Not until you came into my life has there been another. Do not expect me to regret saving your life, because I will not do it! You brought love back into this old heart of mine, and I would do anything I could to keep you here,” he looked at her. Watched the tears slip down and felt the helplessness in her. “Let me help you.” “I’m tired, Ambrose. Tired of being here. Tired of the pain,” she looked at him, taking his breath away at the pain he saw. “I’m tired of hurting for something I can never have.” Ambrose picked her up, and sat with her on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried. Not since she was a little girl had he held her as she cried.

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Ever since she finally came to terms with what she was and what she needed to do in order to live, she had not allowed him to comfort her. “I’ve tried so hard,” she sobbed. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Julian sat on the floor outside the door with his head tilted back on the wall, listening to everything that they said. He felt her pain, felt it and was helpless to stop it. “Live for me,” Ambrose went on. “Just live.”

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! ! ! Dibqufs!22! It had been four weeks since the girls were reunited. Four weeks since Carissa felt a new pain that she could not seem to get rid of. She stood in front of a desk in her room looking at the few photos of Julian smiling with Serena on his lap. She was dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a plain black t-shirt with her bag at her feet. Carissa kept going over in her mind how she was going to tell him, kept going over in her heart how she was going to leave him. “Hey?” Julian asked softly. “You okay?” Carissa took a deep breath, hiding the photos before he could see her looking at them. “I don’t think so.” Julian walked over to her, touching her shoulder gently. “Carissa?” “I’m so tired, Julian,” she looked up him with sad, needing eyes. ”Nothing I do can take this empty feeling away. This feeling of being alone.” “You’re not alone,” he wrapped his arms around her, which seemed to make the tears fall. “Haven’t you figured that out by now?” “I’m more alone than you know,” she said softly, closing her eyes as a calm washed over her. “I can’t do this, Julian. I can’t be something I’m not,” she pulled out of his embrace suddenly. It took a few moments for what she said to sink in, and when it did, Julian did not think he could deal with it. He didn’t want to lose anybody else but knew that was what she was telling him. “Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t leave me too.” 58

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Carissa touched his face gently. “You are right, you know. I must have a heart,” she breathed in hard, “because it is breaking right now.” She cried softly as she looked up at his face, almost as if she was memorizing it. “I do love you, but I can’t stay here. I can’t stay here and be in her shadow. I can’t stay and hope for something that won’t happen.” Julian looked at her as his own set of tears fell from his eyes. He didn’t know what to say or do. In the end, he rested his forehead on hers, crying. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. Julian kissed her deeply but gently. He poured all he had into the kiss, holding her tightly. When the kiss was over, Carissa wiped a tear away from his face. “No matter what happens, or what I do, you will always have all of my heart, Julian. It belongs to you and no other.” Julian kissed her deeply with as much love and tenderness as he could. He picked her up, moaning as she wrapped herself around his body. He kissed the tears that traveled down her check to her neck as he lay her down gently on the bed. Gently again, he pushed her shirt up, kissing around the bandage that was still on her stomach. His lips followed a path up her stomach to the underside of her breasts to the hard peaks of her nipples. Julian watched his hands close around her breasts, closing his eyes as her hands went to work at pulling his own shirt over his head, but mostly he closed his eyes to savor the feel of her skin. She was silk, heat, and life. Everything he wanted and needed. Within minutes, both were stripped bare. Julian covered her body with his own, kissing her with a new emotion. Love. The one thing he thought had died with Serena, he found again in Carissa. His hands roamed over her body as she wrapped herself around him. He could not seem to get enough of touching her, of feeling her skin against his own. As each and every caress shot through her body, she knew this would be the last time she was with him. Knew that she could not be with him ever again after tonight.

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Carissa savored each touch, caress, and kiss from him as the emotions overtook her. It was as if she were more sensitive to the emotions as well as his touch, which made her body feel like molten lava was flowing in her veins. Heat coursed through her body as she gave her all to him. Memorizing each touch, look, and caress so she would be able to see and feel it again when she was gone. She knew that Julian was not ready to make a commitment to her even though she loved him with all her heart and soul. At this time he was not able to give her himself like she wanted. She had debated long and hard. Half of something might be better than nothing, but by damn, she deserved and wanted it all. Julian entered Carissa's body so slowly as if he was also savoring the feel of her as she stretched to accept him. He kissed her deeply, tongues mating in a kiss of their own as a single tear escaped her eye. He kissed it, licking the trail that it left down to her neck as he moved softly within her. He took such care, making sure he hit every sensitive stop. He even tried to kiss all of her pain away, but knew that he could not, knew that her wounds were so deep that only time would heal them. Julian realized suddenly that he might not have the time he needed to show her how much he cared, so he tried to show her through each touch, each kiss and caress how much she meant to him. Even though he knew that no matter how much he wanted her in his life, Carissa was just passing through, he put every bit of feeling he could into his movements. To show her how much he wanted her to stay, how much he needed her to stay. Her sudden shudder with fangs sinking into his chest brought a moan from deep within him. He watched her drink from him as her flesh tightened around him. Her climax was as sweet to him as her drinking. The second he felt her close the wounds, his own orgasm ripped from him. Julian cried out seconds before he also sank his teeth deep into her neck. The sudden piercing had Carissa crying out as another orgasm washed over her. She

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tightened her legs around his hips and held him as close as she could, riding out the pleasure. When he closed the wounds, he wrapped his arms around her. He held her under him, catching his breath and needing to hold her. **** For whatever unknown reason, Julian awoke and the sun was still up. He rolled over in bed, noticing right away that the spot was empty. He found his jeans where he left them and looked around the room for any sign of Carissa. He found none. Quietly he walked into the girls’ room and smiled. Both were sleeping face-toface, one holding onto the other. Yet, Carissa still was not there as he thought she might be. Julian rubbed his face, looking around for any signs and spotted a letter on the stairs. When he picked it up and saw what was written on it, his heart sank. Julian, Please forgive me. I won’t be back here again. I can’t live in her shadow. I can’t stay and only have part of you. A part of me did hope that you would love me just a little. But that kind of love is missing. Maybe someday you will find that one person that can give you what you want. I wish you all the best. Carissa.

“Carissa?” he said barely above a whisper. Julian ran up the stairs, yanking the door open. “Carissa!” he yelled. Ambrose slowly walked out. The sun was setting as he walked over to Julian. He put his hand on his shoulder. “She left hours ago.” “How could she do this? How could she just walk out as if nothing happened?” Julian asked in a cold tone. “Because whether you want to admit it or not, you still hold the memory of Serena very close to your heart. Yet, you also fell in love again. You fell for her. No

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woman would want to stay knowing that she only had a part of someone she cared about.” Ambrose patted him on the back and walked back into the house. Julian stood in the same spot, looking out into the night. This time, tears refused to come as his heart broke all over again. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Ambrose was right. Julian still carried Serena around in his heart, not allowing Carissa a chance to be loved as he knew she should be. “Hey!” Denver yelled, walking up the stairs with two crying girls in his arms. “I think these two need something to eat.” Julian nodded his head, looking up at the sky. “Life goes on,” he said softly. He turned around, smiling at Denver and the girls. “Let’s get these two something to eat,” he took the girls from Denver, smiling down at both. “My girls are finally home. Home where they belong.” “And you?” Denver asked. “Are you where you belong?” Julian looked at Denver, showing him all the emotional pain in his eyes. “Give me time, Denver. Things heal with time.” Denver took Paris from Julian. “Not everything goes away with time, Julian. Some things you need to fix on your own.” Julian looked up at Denver, understanding right away what he meant. As Denver walked into the kitchen for bottles, Julian looked back at the open door. He walked to it with Alina still in his arms and looked out into the night. All he thought of right then was how he wanted every small moment he had with Carissa back. He wanted to go back in time and hold her once more. He wanted that split second back to tell her how much he did love her after all, how he wanted her and only her. Alina grunted in his arms, letting him know that she was still there. Julian kissed her on top of her blonde head before looking out in the night with his wish deep in his heart. “I do love her, Alina. I just hope that one day I will be able to tell her.” **** 62

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Carissa sat perched on top of a roof two houses down from Julian. She watched him with Alina in his arms as tears fell from her silent form. She cried silently as she looked at him from afar, hearing everything that he said and feeling it all deep in her soul. When the door closed, she stood up with her bag in hand. She wiped her tears before she jumped from the roof to the ground. On a quick hop, Carissa blended in with the busy streets. Not once did she look back, and not once did she realize that she was not alone on the roof. That another like her was up there watching her. Watching and waiting for the right time to come out.

The End

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