A Reason To Stay

Delinda Jasper

A Reason To Stay

A Reason To Stay By Delinda Jasper

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Delinda Jasper

A Reason To Stay

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A Silk’s Vault Electronic Publication, in arrangement with author Delinda Jasper. Copyright © 2005 by Delinda Jasper Cover Design and Art by Delinda Jasper , © Copyright 2005 Edited by Carol Fortado

Silk’ Silk’ s Vault Publishing www.silksvault.com

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in part or whole, in any form or by any means, without permission from both the author and publisher. All characters, incidents, situations, institutions, governments and people are fictional and any similarity to characters or persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

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CHAPTER 1

Neatly stacked boxes lined the walls; furniture stacked neatly together in the order it should go on the moving truck crowded the middle of the living room floor. Ellie sighed heavily as she taped up the last box of CDs and added it to the stack. She was finished. Everything she owned—her entire life, was packed up and waiting for the movers to come in the morning. At 29, she was a free woman now, with no ties holding her down. Her life was really changing, for the better. She had a new job at a major newspaper in Chicago, a huge step up from her position at the tiny Cedar Grove weekly. Her new apartment, though much smaller than the home she had shared with her grandmother, was in a very nice, upscale neighborhood. All of her friends were already planning their vacations for the year to come visit her, so she wouldn’t be too lonely. She should be thrilled with her life—but she wasn’t. Futilely pushing wayward chestnut curls from her face she leaned against a stack of boxes and let her mind go back over her reasons for leaving, just as she had hundreds of times in the two months since her grandmother’s death. For what seemed like the hundredth time, Ellie played her reasons for moving over in her mind again. She was 29, single, living in a tiny little one-horse town, with a dead end job. With her grandmother gone she wasn’t tied down anymore, and she had enough money to live anywhere in the world she wanted. She owed it to herself to get out in the world. Those were the reasons she gave for moving. No one seemed to notice she was only repeating what her friends told her.

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The truth was, Ellie loved Cedar Grove. She had never felt tied down. She had moved here to live with Grammy shortly after her fourteenth birthday, and it was the only stable home she had ever known. She liked small town life, knowing everyone. Her job, though it didn't have much room for advancement, was fun. As for the being single part, well, she did have to agree there were more eligible men in Chicago. But eligible men were not the reason she was leaving everything she knew and loved. Her reason went much deeper than that. “Ready to go?” Ellie jumped at the deep voice. She whirled and stared at the man lounging lazily in the doorway. He stood well over six feet, but the way his body was leaning against the wall, with his long, faded blue jean clad legs sticking out in front of him, it was hard to tell just how tall he was. It wasn’t hard to tell though, that this man was well built. His thin black tshirt seemed stretched to its limits as it hugged his broad shoulders and showed every contour of his muscular upper arms. The shirt was looser where it tucked into his lowslung jeans, but still clung just enough to hint at the rock hard abs beneath. “Sheesh, Jake! Don’t you know better than sneaking up on someone like that?” “Sneak? Who’s sneaking?” Jake’s eyes flashed mischievously as he grinned and laughed, “I just left the room five minutes ago, I didn’t realize it took so little time to forget me.” Ellie couldn’t help but laugh. Jake McCallister was a lot of things, but easy to forget was definitely not on the list. Ellie rolled her eyes.

“No, Jake, you’re not forgettable.

You are annoying,

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aggravating, and…” “Tsk, tsk, is that the way to way to talk about your best friend in the whole wide world? I mean really, Peaches, who else would have taken off work to help you pack up all your worldly belongings and move to the big bad city?” He peeled himself away from the wall and walked towards her. “And who else would be able to see through that tough face you’ve been putting on and know how hard all this has been on you. Come here.” She didn’t resist when he pulled her into is arms; instead she sank into his hard chest, letting his warmth comfort her. If only he really did know how hard leaving Cedar Grove was on her, but he didn’t. If he did, chances were pretty good he wouldn’t be holding her in his arms like this right now. But he was, and right now that was all she could let matter. After tomorrow moments like this would be few and far between, if they ever existed again at all. At that thought, the tears that had been so near the surface the past weeks began rolling down her cheeks once again. Jake must have felt the tremors that accompanied her silent tears because he tightened his hold on her, gathering her close and tight to him, his chin resting on the top of her head. He gently rocked both of them side to side, murmuring soft words of comfort into her hair, telling her he understood how much she missed Grammy. Grammy had been sick for a very long time, and though she missed her so much it was sometimes hard to breathe, Ellie had come to terms with the fact that Grammy was in a far better place now. Her tears for Grammy had all been shed within the first two weeks after her death. No, that was definitely not why she was crying. Jake thought she was still upset over Grammy’s death. Taking a deep breath, his

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strong masculine scent filling her nose and playing havoc with her senses, Ellie wondered what he would think of her if he knew just how wrong he was. She wondered what he would do if he knew she was crying because of him. No, she couldn’t say she was crying because of him. Though it would make her feel better and make all of this easier, she couldn’t put the blame on him. He’d done nothing wrong. That was the whole problem. It wasn’t his fault she’d been stupid enough to fall in love with him. Jake held her until her body stopped shaking with sobs and was replaced by the occasional jump of hiccups. Stroking her hair, his voice was soft and soothing as he said, “Feeling better, Sweetheart?” Surprisingly, she did. It had felt good to let go and let the tears flow. It had felt even better to have Jake’s arms around her while she did it. It was pretty ironic that the root of her problems was how much she wanted to be in his arms, yet whenever she needed comfort that was exactly where she ended up. Just not in the way she wanted. “Now, are you ready for Movie Night? I’ve rented some of our favorites in honor of the last one we’ll have for a while.” Jake asked as he squeezed her tighter for a moment, and then let her go. Ellie managed a smile and nod, trying to look cheerier than she felt. She felt downright lonely without his arms around her. Oh, get a grip Ellie, she chided herself. You’re acting like a lovesick teenager instead of a mature woman who is in control of herself. The problem was she didn’t feel very much like she was in control of herself. But

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she had to get control. Fast. Tonight was the last night she would get to spend with Jake in a very long time, possibly ever. She would not waste it by moping around and pouting over what would never be. She would enjoy their last Movie Night if it killed her. They’d been having movie night since their teens. One night a week they got together, watched movies and gorged themselves on take-out. At first Movie Night had been Saturdays, but as Date Night took its place and then they got older and busier, Movie Night became adaptable to their schedules. Once, when they were in college, they’d combined Date Night and Movie Night into one. It had been a complete disaster. Their dates hadn’t understood the ritual of renting one gratuitously violent action film and one pitifully sappy romantic comedy and then talking all the way through both movies. Neither Jake’s, nor Ellie’s date had understood why they would want to rent movies they’d already seen about a hundred times. Nor had either date been impressed by the fact that both Jake and Ellie knew the movies so well they could, and did, say the lines along with the actors. In fact, both had complained so much Jake had shut the second movie off within minutes of its start and took his girlfriend home. Ellie’s date had left just before the end of the first movie. From that night on dates had been permanently banned from Movie Night. Her smile brighter and more genuine this time, she asked, “Pizza or Chinese for dinner?”

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CHAPTER 2

Ellie loved Jake’s bathroom. She knew it was an odd room in the house to find the most attractive and comfortable, but she couldn’t help it. The first thing Jake had done when he bought the old farmhouse he lived in was remodel the master bath. It was once dark and cramped, with fixtures that had been there since the early sixties, but now it was huge and light and airy. The wall separating the original bathroom from one of the house's five bedrooms had been knocked out in order to expand the bathroom and create a huge walk in closet. A huge tiled shower and a separate roman-style whirlpool tub replaced the old built in shower-tub combo. It could have been the bathroom of a multi-million dollar mansion instead of a hundred-year-old farmhouse. She was going to miss this bathroom. Ellie sighed as she poured some lavender scented bath oil she kept under Jake's double sink into the steaming water filling the tub. She had often taken advantage of this room. She loved bubble baths, and both of the bathrooms in the house she’d shared with her grandmother had those tiny old tubs that barely held enough water to get a person's ankles wet, much less enough for someone with Ellie’s figure to submerge herself in. Once the tub was filled, she turned on the whirlpool jets, stripped off her clothes and lowered her body into the frothy water. She nearly groaned her pleasure. Her body was so tired and sore from all of the packing she’d done in the last week the steaming, scented water felt like heaven on her skin. She leaned back, laying her head on the back of the tub and let the jets of pulsing water work out the kinks in her muscles.

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She had at least half an hour or more before the pizza Jake was ordering got there, so she would have plenty of time to relax a bit. But relaxing was easier said than done. The way she’d felt when Jake held her in his arms earlier in her living room haunted her. She’d felt safe, and like in his arms was the one place she belonged. Unfortunately, that was the one place she didn’t belong. Jake was sweet and caring, but he was also a ladies man. He loved women, and women loved him. Ellie doubted if there would ever be just one woman who could satisfy Jake’s lusts. She did know that if there was, it definitely wasn’t her. He dated tall, thin, super-model types, and that sure as heck wasn’t her. It wasn’t that Jake was shallow, far from it.

But when tall, thin, leggy women were constantly throwing

themselves at him, who could blame him for partaking. There was definitely something about Jake that drove women wild, and it was more than just his good looks. Oh, he was good looking, that was for sure. In fact, he was down right gorgeous with his jet-black hair and piercing, charcoal eyes. His body wasn’t too shabby, either. Being a fire fighter he had to keep in shape, but he’d always had a body that made the girls drool. The six feet seven inches of his broad shouldered frame was covered with lean, hard muscle. Even Ellie, who could never in a million years be considered tiny, felt small next to him. Thinking of Jake's big, strong body sent a shiver through Ellie. Unbidden, an image of Jake using his strength and fireman’s training to throw her over his shoulder and carry her up the curved staircase in his farmhouse popped into her mind. Heat that had nothing to do with the temperature of her bath water coursed through Ellie. In an effort to flush the image from her mind’s eye before the couple in her fantasy

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reached Jake's bedroom, Ellie plunged her head beneath the warm, scented water. When she emerged, gasping for breath, Jake's face was still emblazoned across her mind. He was wearing that goofy, sweet, lopsided grin of his. That grin, even more than his to-die-for body, was what drove women wild for Jake McCallister. Jake had a rare charm. All he had to do was flash those smoky eyes and that lopsided, innocent grin and women fell at his feet. The most compelling thing about Jake was that he didn’t realize he had this power. The root of the matter was that Jake had a heart of gold. He would do anything he could for others, even risk his life. That was apparent in his job choice. That goodness deep within him shone from him like a beacon and drew people to him. Ellie’s heart ached. That sweet, boyish charm and heart of gold was what made women fall in love with him. And Ellie was no different. She was just one in a long line who had fallen in love with the untamable Jake. She didn’t think Jake even knew he had that effect on women. He knew the effect he had on their bodies; he’d been studying women’s bodies and their reaction to him since his teens. But what he didn’t know was the havoc he played on their hearts. She was sure he didn’t know the number of hearts he’d unwittingly broken over the years, the girls who’d pined over unrequited love. She knew in her heart of hearts that he’d never want to bring heartache to anyone. That was why she had to leave. That was why he could never know how she felt. If he ever found out the pain she felt every time she thought of him in the arms of another woman, he would feel guilty. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to return her love, and it would cause him pain to cause her pain. That would drive a wedge between them they

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would never be able to overcome. She didn’t want that. She couldn’t stand it. Forcing those depressing thoughts from her mind, she took the bar of lavender scented soap and began washing her body. It was not a bad body, she had do admit. No, she wasn’t thin and long legged, but men tended to enjoy her full, plump breasts and rounded hips. Not all men had a taste for women with voluptuous curves—Jake being the prime example of a man who preferred tall, thin, women whose big breasts came from the nearest plastic surgeon instead of nature. But then, not all men had a taste for waifs either. It takes all kinds, Ellie had always thought. Personally, she preferred tall, broad shouldered men, so she didn’t feel as if she could judge anyone for their preferences in the opposite sex. Though she sure wished Jake had different tastes. Well, it’s his loss, she thought as she lifted one tanned leg from the water and worked the soap into a lather over the taut calf muscles. Yes, definitely his loss! Her clothes size might be a 16, but she damned well filled that 16 out quite beautifully. Her body might be big, but it was firm. Ellie ran the soap over her arms, first one, then the other, then moved on to her chest. She swirled the soap over her full breasts. Discarding the soap, Ellie re-traced the soap's journey over her wet skin with her fingers. She loved the way the soft, slick skin felt under her fingertips. She drew tiny circles in the suds covering her skin, imagining what it would feel like for Jake to be the one gliding his hands over her wet and waiting body. Heat curled in her belly as she closed her eyes and allowed Jake’s image to form in the darkness. Her hands developed a mind of their own, trailing over her body of their own volition, as in her dream world behind her eyelids they traveled over the hard plains and muscles of his body.

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With her eyes squeezed shut, her hands were sliding over his soap-slicked skin, up the defined muscles of his arms, gliding over the hard muscles playing in his shoulders. In her mind it was Jake’s hands slipping over her breasts, kneading them gently, teasing the nipples. It was Jake who was sliding one hand down the gentle swell of her belly, his fingers burning her skin. The wayward hand that should have been Jake’s slipped even lower as the other hand continued to pinch and tease first one nipple, then the other. Ellie’s southern-most hand continued its journey, grazing the inside of each thigh before stopping to rest over the warm mound at their juncture. A soft moan escaped her lips as she, and Jake in her mind’s eye, softly rubbed the heel of her hand over the throbbing mound, caressing it. Her body held a flush that had nothing to do with the warm bath water. In her fantasy, Jake was trailing kisses over her body, first softly sucking her hardened nipples in to his mouth, then down, following the trail burned in her skin by his fingers, till that lovely tongue reached the luscious area between her thighs. Just as Jake reached the region in her fantasy world, Ellie slipped one finger into the slick folds of her pussy. The wetness there was a mixture of the bath water and her own free-flowing juices. As Fantasy-Jake’s tongue lapped over her clit, her finger rubbed the swollen little nub. Caught up in the pure pleasure of her fantasy world, Ellie was unaware of the moans and gasps escaping her lips. She was aware of only one thing, the throbbing heat in her body that screamed to be quenched. As she stroked her clit rhythmically, her other hand abandoned her swollen nipples to thrust first one, then two fingers into the hot, steamy folds of her pussy.

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As her Fantasy-Jake fucked her with his tongue, she fucked herself with her fingers. Water sloshed the floor as she rocked in an ever increasing rhythm, every nerve in her body screaming for release. Her blood boiling, she pinched her clit between two fingers and plunged the two fingers of the other hand deeper into her pussy, and sent herself over the edge with a tiny squeal. After several long moments, the shaking of the orgasmic aftermath began to subside and Ellie floated back down to earth. As she began washing away the remnants of her solitary interlude, she was thankful Jake was downstairs watching TV and couldn’t hear her pleasuring herself.

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CHAPTER 3

Jake’s body was on fire. He felt ashamed that he had stood there and listened, but the shame was not what caused the burning in his loins. He’d only meant to knock on the door and let Ellie know the take-out was on its way. But when he’d reached the bathroom door there had been sounds coming out that told him Ellie didn’t want to be disturbed right then. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, really he hadn’t. But the soft gasps and moans were just too delectable. Sounds he’d always imagined coming out of Ellie’s lips. But in his dream there hadn’t been a door separating them and he’d been the one making her groan, not her own fingers. That thought brought the image of Ellie in his bathtub, her body slick from water and soap. Her hands were sliding over her smooth skin, playing over her plump breasts, teasing the nipples hard, then moving down to her creamy thighs. As much as he wanted to leave, to give Ellie her privacy, that image along with the tantalizing sounds glued his feet to the floor. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything but listen and wish he had the guts to bust through the door and join her in that huge tub. Then he could turn her gasps into screams and release the unbearable heat pooled in his belly. But, he didn’t have the guts. He’d made his decision weeks ago when he’d learned she was moving. He wasn’t going to try to stand in her way. He wanted her to be happy and if moving to Chicago was what it took, then he would make sure that is what she got. If he were completely truthful, he was just down right afraid, too. He could rush in there and offer himself to her, but what if she refused. Damn, no other woman had ever made him feel as uncertain

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as Ellie Blaylock. No other woman had ever made him feel the way she did, in any way. So, he didn’t rush in there, but he didn’t leave either. He stood there, his heat rising and his jeans getting tighter with every second. He stood there and listened to every breathy gasp, every soul stirring moan, every slosh of the water. He tightened his hands into painful fists to keep from stroking himself. He couldn’t give her the privacy she deserved, but he was damned if he was going to stand there and jack himself off like some hormonal, teen-aged Peeping Tom. When the last strangled gasp and high pitched squeal announced Ellie’s climax to him through the door, it was all Jake could do to stifle his own moan of frustration. God, he wanted to be the one causing her to cry out with pleasure. The urge to rush into the bathroom and take her in his arms welled up inside him again, but the moment was gone. He heard water swirling down the bathtub drain, then the spray of water from the shower. Ellie must be washing her hair. That meant she would be out any minute, and if he didn’t get out of there she would find him standing there and know he’d been eavesdropping like some weirdo creep. But he was still glued to his spot with the thoughts of a naked Ellie just beyond the door. At that moment, the doorbell chimed the arrival of their dinner. Thankful for the interruption, Jake hurried downstairs to open the door before the bell chimed again. He didn’t want Ellie to wonder why it took him a long time to answer the door. By the time Ellie came downstairs, Jake had the massive amounts of Chinese food they always ordered arranged on the coffee table along with a beer for himself and a berry flavored wine cooler for Ellie. He’d also stood in front of his open freezer door for several minutes in order to force

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himself to cool down. He realized his efforts were in vain when returned from the kitchen, where he’d went to hunt down some Soy Sauce because the delivery guy had forgotten to put little packets of the stuff in their order, and found Ellie lounging on the couch. His heart nearly stopped as he took in the beauty of her. She’d partially dried her hair and damp curls fluttered around her face in a chestnut halo, the ends leaving tiny wet spots on the shoulders of her t-shirt. His eyes flickered over the t-shirt. There was nothing remarkable about it. It was a huge, over-sized pink nightshirt that fell to her knees and had “Princess” emblazoned across the front. Her standard Movie Night attire, because they usually stayed up so late watching movies she stayed over in his spare bedroom. No, nothing remarkable about that old t-shirt at all, except the way it clung to the moisture left on her skin from her bath, outlining every curve of her luscious body. Or the way it clung to her ripe, braless breasts, the peeling “Princess” not able to cover the jut of the nipples that were hard from the slight chill in the air. Or the way the hem slipped up her smooth, tanned thighs, stopping just short of giving him a peek of what he knew were white cotton panties when she sat cross-legged, as she was doing now. Get a grip, McCallister! He knew he was being ridiculous. Ellie had been wearing the same thing or something very similar for Movie Night for as long as he could remember. Hell, he’d seen her in much less when they’d shared an apartment in college. There was no reason for him to suddenly freak out over a t-shirt. But he knew it wasn’t suddenly. That shirt had given him many a sleepless night, especially in the past year or so when he’d begun to realize just how much Ellie really

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meant to him, how he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, not as her best friend, but as the man she loved. But tonight it was different. It was even harder than usual to keep his hormones in check. Probably because of what he’d heard upstairs, but maybe it was because tonight would be the last time he would be seeing Ellie this way for a very long time, maybe forever. That thought was a knife in his heart. Ellie picked that moment to look up and notice him standing near the doorway. “Hey, bring me that soy sauce, I’m starved!” she said, as if there was no way she could begin eating without the soy sauce. Truthfully she couldn’t, or at least she didn’t think she could. Ellie had a very precise way of working her way through Chinese food, and the first thing she did involved an egg roll and a ton of soy sauce. “What are you grinning at?” Ellie demanded, taking the bottle from his hand and applying the salty sauce liberally to an egg roll she’d broken in half. “You and your crazy eating habits,” laughed Jake. Ellie feigned outrage.

“Weird?

Me?

You’re one to talk, Mister Never-Try-

Anything-New!” She had a point. Every time they got Chinese he stuck to his favorite of Mongolian Beef, refusing to try the huge variety of dishes Ellie always ordered. He supposed it was a little stick-in-the-mud of him. He could risk his life daily, but he couldn’t taste Mu Shu Pork. And he couldn’t risk his heart enough to tell the woman he loved how he felt. “Okay, I’ll make a deal with you. You don’t drown the fried rice in soy sauce and I’ll try any of the dishes you want me to.” Ellie grinned, wrinkling her cute little pug nose and a causing an intense longing to bend down and kiss it to shoot through Jake. Laughing, she said, “Deal. Now go get

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changed so we can put the movie in. I want to see Jean Claude Van Damme kick some ass.” Jake, who’d been on his way to put the DVD in the player, froze mid-stride. Movie Night was all about comfort and pigging out, and baggy sweatpants was his standard uniform. But tonight his body had been so rebellious; he'd hoped she wouldn’t realize he was still wearing his jeans. As tight as they were, they provided him the camouflage that the sweatpants couldn’t. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t stay in his jeans without causing Ellie to wonder why. And knowing Ellie, she would start asking questions he couldn’t answer. Without saying a word, Jake dropped the DVD case onto the coffee table and went upstairs to change. Maybe he would just say he was cold and keep a blanket over his lap all night.

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CHAPTER 4

Empty Chinese food cartons and beer and wine cooler bottles littered the coffee table. Jake drained the last of his beer and added it to the others. He started to get up to get another, but decided against it. Although going to the kitchen to retrieve another beer would give him a chance to put some space between himself and Ellie, he’d already had four, and that was his limit. He already felt a bit fuzzy headed, and any more could impair his judgment more than he could afford. He was already struggling to keep a hold on his self-control. Besides, to be completely honest, he didn’t really want to put space between himself and Ellie. He liked the way during the second movie she’d scooted closer to share his blanket and was snuggled into the crook of his arm. This was a normal position for the two of them, curled up together on the sofa. Ellie had a tendency to lean her head on his shoulder when she got tired during a movie, and he let her. He’d always enjoyed it, even before he’d realized his feelings for Ellie were anything but brotherly. Once he’d stopped denying how much he loved her, these Movie Night cuddle sessions had become much more enjoyable and a lot harder on his self-control. But tonight the only thing he’d describe as hard was his cock. He’d been in a constant state of arousal since she’d snuggled under his blanket, a fact that had been very difficult to conceal in such close quarters. The truth was, though the evening had been complete torture on him and his libido, Jake was loath to have it end. The last movie was nearly over, so he had little choice, but he could squeeze as much pleasure as possible from these last few minutes of closeness

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with Ellie. He glanced over at Ellie, watching her profile as she watched the movie. They were watching the classic Breakfast at Tiffany’s, her favorite. She was completely engrossed in the movie, her eyes shining with tears. She always welled up during this scene, and at the end she wouldn’t be able to hold them back any longer and huge drops would slide down her flawlessly smooth cheek, leaving little wet streaks. Her eyes would shine, her nose would turn red, and her face would get all blotchy. And, as always, she would look utterly kissable. Zing. A lightning bolt of desire shot through him, again. Jake forced his eyes away from the sweet beauty at his side and tried to concentrate on the movie. He was almost instantly sorry, as the scene on screen brought the reality of tomorrow screaming back into his brain. The couple on screen was in a Taxi, and the hero, Paul, was trying to get the incorrigible Holly to marry him, but she was intent on flying off to South America to find a new life. Zing. This time it was pain that shot through Jake. It was uncanny sometimes how life could imitate art, or the other way around. Tomorrow Jake would be driving the woman of his dreams off to a new city and a new life that didn’t include him. Only, unlike Paul in the movie, Jake hadn’t had the guts to put it all on the line and tell his love how he felt. That was what it all came down to. No guts. He was too afraid of damaging the bond between them that he hadn’t been able to come clean with her about his feelings. The guy in the movie hadn’t been afraid to lose everything in order to gain the love of a

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lifetime, and he was rewarded with a happy ending. For Jake and Ellie there would be no kissing scene in the rain. There wasn’t even a chance for one as long as he was afraid to show her what she really meant to him. Suddenly the warmth of her and her fresh, clean scent was too much for him. He was tired of worrying so much about tomorrow. Tomorrow would come whether he wanted it to or not. And watching her leave would hurt whether he’d taken a chance or not. He didn’t think a slap in the face or even a firm but polite thanks, but no thanks he might get if he told her how he felt could hurt worse than the torture of the “what ifs” he would have to live with if he didn’t. But the words still felt stuck in his throat. How do you tell the best friend you’ve ever had you love her more than life? He couldn’t find the words. But, if he didn’t know how to tell her, he definitely knew how to show her. **** Tears rolled down Ellie’s face as the movie credits rolled on the TV screen. She always cried at this movie. But tonight, her tears were more for herself than for the bittersweet happy ending of the movie. Though she hadn’t wanted the night to end, it seemed as if the hours had flown by. It had been a wonderful evening. They’d pigged out on Chinese food, drank a little too much, laughed and talked all the way through the action movie as Jean Claude Van Damme kicked butt, then snuggled under a blanket for the next movie. All in all it had been a standard, fun Movie Night. Jake had been a bit distant at times, but Ellie chalked that up to woman problems. It happened all the time. The woman of the hour would become clingy and start “wanting

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more” out of their “relationship”. At the first mention of the word commitment Jake would start getting antsy, trying to figure out a way to bolt with out hurting the woman’s feelings. Whenever that happened he’d be distant for a day or two, then when he was ready he’d tell Ellie all about it. He always had. Ellie couldn’t count the number of times Jake had come to her with, Suzie wants me to meet her parents, Janet gave me a key to her apartment, or the biggie, Lisa wants us to buy a dog together. Do you know how long dogs live? These desperate declarations had always been followed by I’m just not ready for that kind of thing, Ellie. It had been a while since he’d come to her with such a problem, but she should have known it would be coming. It always did. Ellie wracked her brain to remember whom it was he was dating now, but the name didn’t come to mind. Well, it didn’t matter. It was someone. There was always someone. At least this time when he had this problem, he would have to call her to tell her about it. Maybe having hundreds of miles of phone line between them would dull the pain of hearing the details of yet another of his conquests. Ellie forced the distressing thoughts from her mind. There would be enough pain tomorrow when she said goodbye to Jake, and plenty of pain and loneliness in the coming weeks. She wouldn’t let it ruin tonight for her. But tonight was over. The last movie had ended and now she would have to leave her warm and comfy spot nestled against Jake and go lay down in that big, lonely guest bed. She knew, from many movie nights spent there, she’d be able to hear Jake’s soft snoring through the wall. The sound would be comforting to her as she drifted off to sleep.

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Sitting up, she turned to look at Jake. “Could you hand me a tissue?” she asked, motioning toward the box on the table near him. Wordlessly, Jake retrieved a tissue from its container. But instead of putting it in her outstretched hand, he brought the tissue up to her tear stained cheeks. Softly, he began wiping the tears from her face. His voice was soft when he asked, “Why do you cry at movies like that? I mean, the ones with happy endings. I understand crying when it’s sad, but when they end up together, what’s there to cry about?” “Oh, I don’t know.” Crying had left her voice a bit rough, and his question took her a bit off guard. Her voice was low and quiet as she answered, “I guess it could just be the emotion. Happy endings make me feel happy, and you know how I am. I’ll take any opportunity to cry.” He laughed at her answer, but before he could say anything else, Ellie went on. “Or, I guess it could be jealousy, or whimsy, or some such nonsense. Maybe its just self-pity and I’m crying for myself. Everyone else gets their own happy ending with someone to share the rest of their life with, but I’m still alone.” Ellie let out a tiny gasp. She couldn’t believe what she’d just said. She and Jake had always shared everything, but this was a bit more honest than she’d meant to get with him. Clasping her hands together on her lap, she stared down at them and tried to think of what to say next. Trying to think of a joke to make light of her too revealing statement. His thumb replaced the tissue on her cheek. Gently, he rubbed it over the tear

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blotched skin, tracing a path over her high cheekbones. His touch scorched her skin. It seemed to her that every ounce of his body heat was flowing through that one thumb and into her. “You’re not alone. You have me.” His tone was so gruff and low she almost thought she imagined that he’d said it. Her eyes flew to his, seeking some clue as to what he’d meant, what that note in his voice was that she couldn’t identify. What she saw nearly took her breath away. His charcoal eyes were darkened to jet-black with some emotion she was afraid to name. She was drawn into them and felt her chest tighten. She couldn’t breathe. His gaze bore into her, searching her face for something, she didn’t know what. She felt as though she would melt into a pool of liquid heat under his gaze. Was that really desire she saw in his eyes?

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CHAPTER 5

Jake’s hand slid from her face to the nape of her neck, pulling her to him. At the same time he lowered his own face toward her. It happened so fast she hardly had time to register what was happening, yet it seemed as if it were all going in slow motion. In the time it took for her to draw in a breath, her whole world was shattered. Jake’s lips touched hers, searing her skin, melting her soul. The touch was light, tentative at first. Not unlike the friendly kisses they had shared so many times before. But in an instant, the pressure deepened. His lips were full against hers and completely still for a full second. Then his tongue darted out, tracing her full bottom lip. When a soft gasp parted her lips, he took advantage, slipping his tongue inside her waiting mouth. Her tongue met his as they tasted each other for the first time. Thunder crashed in Ellie’s ears and lightning soared through her veins. He tasted like beer and egg rolls and Jake. There was no other way she could describe the sweet, overpowering taste that had nothing to do with food or drink. The kiss was gentle, heartbreaking, soul searing, new, familiar, wrong, and right, all at the same time. Then it was over. Jake hesitantly pulled back. First just an inch, then fully back, until the full space between them was restored. Moments passed as they stared at each other, each searching the other’s face for a sign, a meaning for what had just happened. War raged within Ellie. Every emotion imaginable was racing through her, sending

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her thoughts into a jumble. She didn’t know what to do, what to say, or even what to feel. The wrong word, the wrong movement could bring their friendship crumbling down around their ears. Despite the dangers, Ellie couldn’t ignore the overwhelming sense of loss and coldness she felt without his lips on hers. Now that she’d felt it, tasted him, it wasn’t enough. One split second moment of bliss was not enough. The dull ache in her stomach that was a constant companion whenever Jake was near began to grow. It was like a monster throbbing inside her. It expanded from her middle to around her heart, branching out to her legs and arms until her entire body was filled with a pulsing, aching need for Jake. Warning bells went off in her brain. Don’t do it, they cried. He was just being comforting. It was just a kiss. It didn’t mean anything to him. But Ellie was beyond listening. It didn’t matter anymore if it was just a kiss, if it didn’t mean anything to him. She’d tasted a tiny bit of him, and she wanted, no, she needed more. Friendship be damned! It was probable that once they parted company tomorrow their friendship would be doomed anyway. Oh, they might call occasionally; maybe he would come to visit once or twice. But then they would get busy, and it would fade out. At least now she would know what it felt like to be kissed by him. But that hadn’t been a kiss, not a real kiss, not near enough to know what it really felt like to be in his arms. Wordlessly, and secretly praying she hadn’t read the signals all wrong, Ellie leaned into Jake. The moment their lips met his arms flew around her, dispelling all of her fears

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of rejection. Though it had been Ellie who had initiated the kiss, Jake quickly took control. Shoving his fingers into her hair, he pulled her closer. This kiss was nothing like the first. The shy exploration was gone, replaced by an almost violent passion, a need they couldn’t put to words. They drank of each other, tongues warring, plundering. Coherent thought fluttered from Ellie. She was a mass of raw emotional need, the need to taste and touch. Her arms had wrapped themselves around Jake of their own volition, and now her hands were exploring him through his t-shirt. Even through the thin material, his heat burned into her, beckoning her. It only took her a moment to slide her hands under the material and come into direct contact with his hot, smooth skin. As he tore his mouth from hers and trailed his tongue up to her ear to nibble on its lobe, her fingers played over the sharp contours of muscle in his back and chest. A deep, throbbing ache began between her legs. She leaned further into him, wanting to touch every inch of his body, but his hand came up between them. At first, Ellie thought he was pushing her away, and a deep sorrow began in her heart. But as she felt him gently cup her breast the sorrow turned into hot desire. His touch set her on fire through the thin material of her nightshirt. Her breasts swelled and her nipples hardened under his skillful caress. Ellie was sure steam would be rolling out of her ears any second now. Gently he pushed Ellie back on the couch, following her down, his lips never leaving the spot on her neck where he was tasting and licking. Grasping the hem of his shirt, she tugged upwards, wanting it out of her way so she

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could fully explore and touch him. He pulled away just long enough to peel off the shirt and toss it aside. The sight of him leaning over her, his chest bare and his eyes dark with desire, made Ellie’s mouth go dry. He lowered himself back down to her, but instead of returning his lips to hers, he brought them to her breast. One hand kneading her breast, pinching the nipple into a tight little nub, he covered the other with his mouth, wetting the material that clung to it. Fire shot through Ellie, turning her blood into rivers of molten lava. Jake's free hand was skimming up her thigh, but stopped at the hem of her nightgown. Putting one hand on the cushion on either side of her head, he pushed himself up and leaned over her. “Ellie, if you want me to stop, you have to say so right now.” She stared up at him, her fuzzy mind not quite understanding. Her, want him to stop? Was he out of his mind? That was the last thing she wanted! He went on, “I want to take this shirt off of you, but if I do, there will be no turning back. I want you, but you’re in charge. Say the word, and this stops. But I’m warning you, if this nightgown comes off you, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.” His words finally penetrated the fog around her brain. He was giving her an out. It was like a no harm, no foul clause. They’d just shared the hottest moments of her life, but if she wanted to put the breaks on, now was her chance. Ellie pushed him off of her and stood. Then, as he watched, wide-eyed, she grabbed the hem of her nightshirt and pulled it off over her head. “Oh, Holy Hell! You’re beautiful!” His statement was quiet and breathy, almost a whisper.

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Ellie bent to join him back on the couch, but his swift cry stopped her dead in her tracks. “No!”

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CHAPTER 6

Fear gripped Ellie. Was he doing what he’d given her the opportunity to do? Was his suggestion to her only a way of saying he didn’t want to go further, but also trying to save her the embarrassment of being turned down? He quickly answered her unspoken question when he stood and said, “Not on the couch. Not like this.” Then, to Ellie’s utter amazement, he swept his arm behind her knees and lifted her into the air. “Oh, Jake, put me down!” she protested. “I’m too heavy.” But Jake ignored her pleas and carried her through the living room. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Ellie’s fear turned panicky. “No, you can’t carry me up the stairs. You’ll hurt yourself. Please, let me walk.” Jake stopped, but didn’t put her down. Instead he grinned at her and said, “Ellie, honey, I carry men twice your size down ladders almost every day. I’m carrying you up to my room to ravish your body, and you can’t stop me.” Heat flooded Ellie. Suddenly she didn’t want to stop him. Jake’s eyes twinkled and his grin widened as he went on, “But, if it’ll make you feel any better, I can throw you over my shoulder and carry you the way I carry them.” Ellie laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck, making no more protests. He carried her up the stairs as if she were no more of a burden than a basket of laundry. It amazed Ellie. No man had ever picked her up, much less carried her up a flight of stairs without getting winded. It seemed there was no end to the things about

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him that made her love him. Not until they reached his bedroom and were next to his bed did Jake put Ellie down. Letting loose of her legs, he let her gently slide down his body. All of the laughter from the stairs was gone, leaving a tense and telling silence. “Oh, God, Ellie. You’re so beautiful.” Jake’s voice was ragged with emotion, “I want you so much. But I don’t want to do anything you don’t want. Tell me now and this stops now.” That was the second time Jake had called her beautiful in just a few minutes. She was almost inclined to believe him. But it was also the second time in just as long that he’d offered to stop what they were doing. Was he really just trying to make sure she was sure? Or was he not sure himself, and wanted her to be the one to put on the brakes? She shivered as he ran one finger down the side of her neck and traced a pattern down her arm. No, Jake was sure. Jake was always sure about sex. And this time, so was Ellie. Consequences be damned! She wanted to feel his body on her, in her. She wanted to get lost in him. She wanted to pretend they weren’t having sex, but making love. That all of the love she felt for him was shared. She wanted him to be hers and she his, even if it were just for one night. Ellie looked up into his eyes and with a voice as steady as she could make it under the circumstances, said, “Make love to me, Jake.” With a primal growl, Jake picked Ellie up again and laid her on the bed. Pausing just long enough for both of them to shed the remainder of their clothes, he joined her. They came together in a flurry of hands and mouths and tongues. Tasting and grabbing, trying to feel every part of each other.

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The fury in their touching mellowed into a sweet and slow exploration. It seemed neither wanted to rush this moment, but to savor it. Their hands and mouths roamed over each other’s bodies, caressing and exploring, finding the spots that made them gasp with pleasure. Jake followed the path of his hands with his mouth and tongue, kissing and licking over every inch of Ellie’s body. Resuming the worship of her breasts he’d started downstairs, he showered them with soft kisses before sucking each nipple into his mouth. Sweet flames licked over Ellie and she wasn’t sure if she was in heaven or in hell. Fireman Jake might put out fires every day, but he sure as hell knew how to start them, too! Then he started moving down. First his hands, lightly skimming over the soft swell of her stomach, down the side where she was ticklish, making her giggle and squirm. Then over the curve of her hip to the soft, smooth skin of her thigh. His hand lingered there, gently stroking her inner thigh, stoking the inferno within her. She bucked, trying to get his hand closer to that ache between her legs, but he just ran his fingers further down her leg. To her utter joy, a few moments later his fingers trailed back up her leg, leaving little rivers of fire in their wake. His hand cupped the throbbing mound, the heat from his palm seeping into her already burning flesh. Ellie arched her back, pushing into his hand. More, she wanted so much more. Heeding her silent pleas, one finger slipped into her sweet, silky depths. She cried out as he came in contact with her clit. He rubbed over the hard little nub, causing little earthquakes within her. The intruding digit then slipped down, further sliding into her hot

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interior. Ellie, so caught up in Jake’s ministrations between her legs, didn’t notice his mouth's journey southward until she felt the hot wetness of his tongue wrap around the hard little ball at her core. In that moment the air rushed from her lungs. The cry that was torn from her was little more than a hoarse gasp. Threading her hands into his hair she pushed him into her, drowning in the sensations his wonderful mouth was causing. Her legs spread as if on their own, giving him full access to her. Cries filled the air as he kissed and licked and sucked, but Ellie wasn’t sure if they were real or just the echoes inside her brain. She couldn’t breathe she was in such sheer, sweet agony. But she didn’t want him to stop. She was sure that if he stopped she would die, but also sure that if he didn’t she might die of pure pleasure. His tongue alternately bathed her clit and slid down into her steaming depths. His hands grasped her hips, kneading and caressing as his mouth drank from her sweetness. Higher and higher he took her, until she floated with the stars. The hot ball of crystallized need within her grew and grew until it burst, shattering into a million tiny shards that flew through her body. Bucking up one last time, she thought she cried out his name as she flooded him with her sweet juice, but she wasn’t sure if she had or it was her imagination. As she drifted back to earth, she vaguely felt him draw away from her. Through the hazy fog of pleasure that shrouded her she felt him lean over to the table next to the bed and heard the rustle of a foil packet. Before she had recovered enough to form a coherent thought he’d rejoined her, his

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body covering hers. His body heat seeped into her own cooling body, stirring the embers of desire until tiny flames shot up once more. He brought his lips to hers, capturing them in a deep kiss. She could taste herself on his lips. Desire shot through her. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him to her. She could feel the hot, hard length of his cock between her legs and wanted it in her, filling her. “Now, Jake. I want you now,” she urged against his lips. Not needing any more encouragement he slid into her in one swift, fluid movement. Ellie gasped. She’d wanted him to fill her, and he did. Totally and completely, stretching her to the limits yet fitting perfectly. With a groan, Jake began to move within her. Slowly at first, but gradually quicker as desire and need overtook them, he plunged in and out of her silky sheath. Ellie wrapped her legs around him, urging him on, meeting his every thrust. She held him tight with her arms, her nails biting into his back. Jake tangled his hands in her hair. Their mouths fused together, each swallowing the other’s gasps and moans of pleasure. Ellie moved her hands down to Jake’s ass, pressing him into her, her nails biting into the tender flesh. Jake’s mouth moved to her ear, murmuring hot and lusty words that made her blood boil even hotter until the cauldron of lust and pure pleasure bubbled over. Her cries shattered the darkness as she went over the edge, taking him with her. Despite the shaking of her world, she felt him convulse within her and heard his hoarse cry of her name as came with her.

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CHAPTER 7

Ellie snuggled deeper into Jake’s warmth. They lay there for an eternity, neither moving, neither speaking. They just lay there, Ellie with her head on Jake’s chest, Jake with his arms wrapped tightly around Ellie, their legs intertwined on top of the crumpled sheets, basking in the warmth left by their lovemaking. Ellie felt like she should say something, anything, but nothing came to mind. There were no words to express what was going on within her. Shocked, dazed, confused, scared and utterly satisfied all came to mind, but all seemed to fall short. Her body still tingled and burned from his touch. His arms, strong and solid around her, made her feel small and safe. They always had. She wondered what he was thinking, feeling. But she couldn’t ask. She couldn’t speak at all for fear of breaking the magic spell that seemed to have entrapped them. So she lay there, half on top of him, listening to his heart beat, feeling his chest rise under her hand with every breath. She committed every sound, every smell and every sensation to memory. She had no idea what would happen next, but she would always have this moment locked away in her heart. After a while—Ellie had no idea how long—Jake’s breathing became shallow and regular. She knew he was asleep. She shifted a bit and felt his arms tighten around her, as if to keep her from moving away. She had no intention of moving, not right now. She would steal every moment of his touch she could. His chest, which had seemed so hard moments earlier, now felt like the softest pillow she had ever known. Heaviness swept over her limbs as fatigue set in. Her body was tired and sated and she didn’t fight sleep

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when it overtook her. Instead she settled into sweet oblivion with a smile. It was around three in the morning when Ellie woke up. She knew this because the huge digital alarm clock was directly in front of her eyes as she opened them. For several moments that was all she knew. The haze of sleep still fogged her brain and it took a moment to register the hard, warm body curled around her. Who was this in her bed? No, not her bed. Jake’s bed. Jake! Oh God! Reality came crashing back to her with a force that nearly knocked the breath from her. She and Jake McCallister had made love only a few hours earlier. It was her best friend, the man she loved beyond all reason but could never have, holding her in his arms, his naked body pressed to hers.

Ellie suddenly felt an irrational burst of self-

consciousness and grabbed the sheet, clutching it to her breast. Sheet? Jake must have awakened and covered them while she slept. She realized she wasn’t lying with her head on his chest anymore, but on her side with Jake molded to her back. His heat seeped into her. Every inch of her backside, from her shoulders to her heels, was in direct contact with warm male flesh. One arm was under her head, the other thrown possessively over her waist, its hand cupping one of her breasts. His warmth was so inviting and delicious she couldn’t help cuddling closer. Emotions warred within her. What had happened? Oh, she knew what had happened, her body still held evidence of it. But the why, and what it meant, was lost on her. Confusion dizzied her. The only thing about what had happened that didn’t confuse her was her own part in it. She knew very clearly why she was here—she wanted to be. Fantasies of lying in Jake’s arms and making wild, passionate love with him had dominated her thoughts for

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so long that the moment he’d kissed her, she’d been powerless to resist. The little voice in her head that warned of the perils of having sex with a friend, especially with her best friend in the world, double-especially with Jake “love’em-and-leave’em” McCallister, was easy to ignore. The thud of her heart and the rush of blood in her ears had drowned it out. What she couldn’t wrap her mind around was why Jake was here. Jeez, who was she kidding? She knew exactly why Jake was here. Seduction was as natural to him as breathing, and you don’t have to be in love to breathe. She should have seen it coming. She was probably the only single woman in Cedar Grove over twenty-one Jake hadn’t nailed. Until now, she reminded herself. Ellie guessed she should be proud of his restraint; he’d resisted for fifteen years. He had never treated her in a sexual way. She’d just never thought she was the type of woman Jake would want to sleep with. There was her mistake. Every woman was the type of woman Jake would sleep with. Not that Jake was a male whore. He just loved women. And women loved Jake. He just had a way about him that caused females of all ages develop a case of the giggles and googly eyes. Depression threatened to settle over Ellie, but she shooed it away. It really didn’t matter that Jake had a weakness for sex and women, especially when they were combined. It really didn’t matter what his motives were when he’d kissed her—she really couldn’t say he’d seduced her, because one kiss was all it had taken to melt her defenses. It really didn’t matter that in the morning she would just be another notch on his bedpost and their friendship would be irrevocably changed, if not destroyed.

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Bottom line was, she was here, he was here, and they’d fucked. It was what she had wanted for so long. Admittedly she would have preferred a relationship to go along with it, but beggars shouldn’t be choosy. She could either lie awake all night worrying herself to death about what it all meant and what was going to happen in the morning, or she could cherish these few precious hours in the arms of the man she loved. She chose the latter.

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CHAPTER 8

Ellie lay there quietly a few more minutes. She was intensely aware of the man sleeping beside her. She watched him sleep. His chest rose and fell rhythmically with each breath. His hair was tousled about his face, giving him the look of an innocent boy. Her fingers ached to reach out and touch the smooth muscles of his chest, to tease his nipples into hard little buds. She held back the desire that had heat pooling in her belly. He looked so peaceful and relaxed; she didn’t want to wake him up. She wanted to prolong the time until he would wake up and they would have to discuss what their making love had meant. She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to hear him say it hadn’t meant anything. Then, moaning softly in his sleep, Jake shifted and turned over so that he was lying on his back. The sheet covering his naked body slipped, revealing a large expanse of smooth, taut skin covering hard planes of muscle along his hip and thigh. Ellie’s mouth went dry. In her mind, the sexiest part of a man’s body was the juncture where the hip and leg meet. There was something innately sensual about the way the bones and muscles curved. The sheet that draped loosely over his manhood, hiding it from plain view yet leaving little to the imagination, only heightened the sensuality. Tentatively she reached out and carefully slid the sheet off of him. She scanned him from head to toe, devouring him with her eyes. He was a beautiful man. Her gaze trailed from his broad shoulders and chest, to his flat stomach, to the distinct tan line where his

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jeans rode low on his hips, to the column of flesh that had been inside her just a few hours before, making her feel so complete. Something wild and primal broke loose within her. Heat flooded her body. She had to touch him again, be with him, and have him inside her. To hell with not waking him up! If she did it right, talking would be the last thing on his mind. Moving slowly so that she didn’t wake him, she moved down the bed until she was right where she wanted to be. It was funny really; sucking cock had never been one of her favorite activities, but right now it was what she wanted to do most. She positioned herself between Jake's legs and bent down so that her mouth was almost touching him. Even in his sleep his cock was half-hard, and when she flicked her tongue over the head it jerked to life. He tasted so good, so musky and masculine. Slowly, she slid her tongue up his shaft. When she reached the tip, she sucked it into her mouth as she swirled her tongue around the throbbing head. Jake moaned in his sleep and a little thrill jolted through Ellie. *** This was the most amazing dream. It wasn’t the first time he’d dreamed of Ellie going down on him. He’d dreamed of making love to Ellie in every position imaginable too many times to count. But this time it felt so good, so real. Her mouth, her tongue, it felt so glorious. Oh, yeah! Teeth nipped gently at his skin and his cock jumped again. Jake’s eyes flew open. This was no dream. He looked down and saw Ellie between his legs on her hands and knees, plump ass in the air, and her sweet, red lips wrapped around his cock. Her sleep-tousled hair formed a

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halo of chaotic chestnut curls around her heart-shaped face. My God, she’s beautiful! It was hard to wrap his brain around the fact that he was really lying in his bed with Ellie, his Ellie, sucking his cock. And, oh God, she was doing it so well. He’d always suspected she’d be good in bed. Though she appeared shy and reserved to most people, he knew the Ellie that was carefree and a little wild. He also knew that there was a deep pool of passion simmering just beneath the surface that was bursting to get out. He doubted if she even knew it was there. But he had. And tonight it had broken through with a wild abandon. She had an intense sensuality about her that he’d never—even in his wildest fantasies—dreamed existed, and he’d had some pretty wild fantasies about Ellie. But not even one compared to the reality of being with her. She took his breath away. At that moment Ellie looked up at him, a smile slowly spreading across the soft lips that had been so industriously occupied moments before. “Hi,” she said, almost shyly. “Hi, yourself,” Jake replied with a soft chuckle, propping himself up on his elbows so he could see her better. “I woke up and I was hungry.” Ellie’s small hands continued the work of her mouth, stroking him softly as she spoke. Jake bit back a groan as one of those soft hands cupped his balls and squeezed ever so gently. He struggled to make his voice sound normal as he answered, “Really?” “Yes, but I was too lazy to get up and walk downstairs to the kitchen. And you looked so delicious; I decided just to feast on you.”

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This time Jake couldn’t hold back the moan as she moved her body slowly up his, her nipples skimming his flesh, leaving tiny rivers of fire in their wake. When her face was mere inches from his he finally found his voice again. He tried to sound flippant as he said, “Really? Well, far be it from me to stand between a woman and her appetite.” “Don’t worry, you won’t,” Ellie said, pushing him back on the pillow. She grabbed his wrists, pinning his arms to the bed. Jake stared up at her plump and luscious breasts dangling above his face. Oh, yeah, this Ellie far surpassed the Ellie of his fantasies, and he loved it! *** Jake’s gasps were music to Ellie’s ears. The slightly glazed look his eyes had as she settled on him so that her pussy lips cradled his cock gave her the most overwhelming sensation of power. It was almost orgasmic, this feeling that she had total control over him at this point. She began sliding back and forth, his rock hard shaft pressed between her pussy and his own skin. The sense of power grew. With every twitch and jiggle of her body she drew him deeper into her control. She knew from his gasps and moans that she could ask anything of him right now and he would do it. Still holding his arms down, she rained kisses over his chest, neck and face before capturing his lips with hers. The kiss was hungry, hot, and demanding. Tongues warred, teeth nipped, and they gasped into each other’s mouths when she lifted herself and slid down onto his waiting cock. She slid all the way down, taking him in completely. She felt stretched to the limits, yet completely and utterly whole.

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They stayed that way, lip to lip, neither moving, both barely breathing, for what seemed both an eternity and just a heartbeat at the same time. Then she began to rock. Not move up and down, or even rock fast. She just slightly moved her hips forward then back, so slowly at first the movement was almost imperceptible. The room was so quiet nothing could be heard but their slightly labored breaths. Then, as heat pooled in her tummy and her blood turned to molten lava, she began to move a bit more. She rocked faster and harder. She let go of his wrists and pushed herself up so that she sat right on him. Her huge breasts jiggled and jumped with her movements and Jake grasped them, kneading and teasing them as she moved. As her rhythm increased, Jake put his hands up and she interlaced her fingers with his. She held tightly to his hands, using him as leverage as she started pumping up and down on his cock. Something wild and primitive had broken loose within her. The room, no longer quiet, was filled with gasps and groans that mingled together so that it was impossible to tell who made which noise. Every pore in Ellie’s body felt open, as if every sensation, every emotion possible were flowing into her. She could feel everything, the hard muscle of Jake’s thighs against hers as she straddled him, the strength in his hands and arms as she strained against them, using them for leverage. She could feel the way his ragged breath made his chest heave; she could feel the searing heat of him deep within her. She was filled and stretched to the limits. A tight ball formed in her tummy and grew with each stroke she made until every muscle, every inch of her being, was tight as a bowstring. She felt as if the string would snap at any moment and she would fly into a

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million pieces. But it didn’t. She squeezed her eyes tight and flung her head back. She concentrated on the feel of Jake beneath her and between her legs. Her pace became frenzied as she rode Jake with all her might, chasing that explosion that would ease the tightness, that release that would turn her into a pliable heap. Suddenly Jake let go of one of her hands. She felt his fingers slide between them, searching, then finding the slick, hard little nub at her center. The tip of his workroughened finger rubbed over her throbbing little clit, once, twice, then bam! The bowstring snapped.

Ellie’s world exploded and rained down around her. There was a

loud keening sound that she knew was her voice, but was totally unrecognizable. Jake’s grip on her hand tightened, and as her pussy walls contracted around him, she felt him shudder uncontrollably. He emitted a long, low growl and she felt his hot seed spurt deep into her just before she collapsed onto him. After a few long minutes she rolled off of him. He gathered her close, her head in the crook of his arm. Just before she slid into the sweet abyss of sleep she thought she heard him say, “Damn, honey, I wish I could always wake up with you like that.”

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CHAPTER 9

Jake couldn’t help whistling as he toweled off after his shower. He was happier than he’d been in a long time. Ellie was asleep in his bed. The fact that last night may have been a one-time thing, never to be repeated, couldn’t dim the light a night of making love to the woman he loved had lit inside him. Sheesh! If any of the guys down at the Station could hear his thoughts they would swear he was going nuts. Maybe he was. Love did strange things to a man. He’d loved Ellie for so long, lusted after her body for so long. He’d fantasized about making love to her so many times, but none of it compared to the real thing. He’d made love to more women than he wanted to count, but not one of them made him feel the way Ellie did. Not just in bed, but afterwards. Nothing had prepared him for this feeling that was swelling in his chest. He couldn’t put words to it, but it felt good, and scary. He wondered if this was how women felt when they made love with a man that they loved. He didn’t want this feeling to end. Heck, he didn’t think it could end. But he had a feeling it could turn agonizing if she left. But what could he do? He didn’t want to stand in the way of her happiness. If moving to Chicago would make her happy, he had to stand back and let her do it. Maybe he should move to Chicago too. The thought was not appealing. He was a small town boy through and through. Cedar Grove was where his job, his home, and his life was. But if Ellie moved to Chicago, his house would just be an empty shell, his family would be missing the most important member, and his life would lose its spark. Ellie was his spark. Giving his head a good shake to empty it of those thoughts, Jake wrapped a towel

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around his waist and padded into the bedroom. Ellie was standing at the window , looking out. Her hair was tousled; curls flying about all over her head and trailing down her back. The sheet wrapped around her body clung to her curves, emphasizing her plump, round ass. Jake felt himself harden instantly, causing the front of the towel to protrude slightly. God, she was beautiful. Quietly he stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. To his great pleasure she back into him instantly. Her softness collided with his hard chest and her crazy hair tickled his nose as she snuggled into him. He was so consumed with the feel of her that it took him a moment to realize what she was staring at out the window. But when it finally registered a bubble of happiness exploded in his chest. It was raining. No, it was storming! It was a huge, thunder and lightning, wind blowing so hard it was raining sideways, can’t see three feet in front of you, there is no way a moving company will work in this weather, kind of storm. He couldn’t believe his luck. Someone upstairs was looking out for him today. Okay, so maybe to most this bad storm would be a cause of worry, but to him it meant one more whole day with Ellie. A whole day of lovemaking, if he could convince her. A whole day to try to figure out where he fit in her new life. A whole day to figure out how to tell her how much he loved her. Jake took a deep breath before speaking in an effort to keep the joy out of his voice. “Looks like you won’t be moving today.” “Nope.” “I guess we’ll have to find something else to do, won’t we?” Jake leaned in and nuzzled her earlobe with his lips. The hard shaft pressing into the

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soft flesh of her ass made it clear what he thought that something should be. But it seemed Ellie had something else in mind. “Yeah, eat.” She turned in his arms and laughed at the abashed look on his face. “Don’t look like that! I used a lot of energy up last night; I need sustenance!” Jake grinned. “Well, I guess if it will keep you from passing out on me later. I like my ladies to have plenty of energy and spunk in bed.” The moment he said it he wished he could take it back. How could he be so stupid? She was going to think she was just another fuck to him. He knew she thought he slept around way too much, that women were little more than playthings to him. And he had just put her in that category. But she was so much more than that. Why the hell did he have to open his big mouth? “Oh God, Ellie, I didn’t mean it that way.” Ellie smiled, but her expression had lost the fun of moments ago. “I know you didn’t, Jake. But we do need to t—” Jake placed a finger over Ellie’s lips, silencing her. “Shh, don’t say it. I know we need to talk, but it can wait. There is no way you’re going anywhere in this weather, so you’re stuck here until at least tomorrow. There will be plenty of time for talk; can we just enjoy being together for now and analyze all this later?” His stomach was clenched so tight he felt as if he’d been punched. This couldn’t all be over so quickly. He needed the rest of the day with her. Hell, he needed the rest of his life with her, but right now he’d take what he could get. Ellie’s smile widened and Jake’s stomach unclenched and his heart did a flip-flop. Damn! Would her smile always make him feel like he was floating? He sure as hell

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hoped so. “Okay, we’ll talk later,” Ellie said. “Right now I need to take a shower; I’m smelly and my hair is scary. And you are going to fix me breakfast.” “Well, how can I refuse such a polite order? How does a nice fluffy western omelet smothered in cheese sound?” Ellie’s grin was impish. “With toasted cinnamon-raisin bread?” Jake laughed heartily, “You aren’t demanding, are you? Of course with toasted cinnamon-raisin bread.” Ellie laughed and started off towards the bathroom, squealing when Jake stepped on the edge of the sheet, causing it to slip off, giving him a full view of her naked body. She blushed at his openly appreciative look and hurried into the bathroom. After she’d left the room, Jake pulled on a pair of shorts and headed downstairs to make breakfast. He quickly threw together two delicious omelets. As he began slicing the homemade cinnamon-raisin bread, his thoughts drifted back to Ellie. She knew him so well. That was one reason he loved her so much. No other woman would know that there was always fresh raisin bread in his house. Growing up, his mother had made it for him every week. He was the only one in the house that would eat it, but she made two loaves every Saturday. He loved the stuff so much that when he’d bought this house, his mother had bought him a bread maker and taught him how to make it himself. Only Ellie knew that. A pain shot through him. He couldn’t lose her. She was his best friend, the only person who truly knew him. Not to mention the fact that he’d had the best sex of his life last night. He was going to have to tell her how he felt. Even if it meant moving to Chicago, he would do it. He would do anything to make Ellie his wife.

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Now he just had to ask her. Jake was buttering the toast when he heard Ellie come down the stairs, enter the living room and call out, “I’m going to call the moving company to reschedule.” He didn’t answer. He didn’t want to think about her leaving. He continued getting the breakfast together. A few minutes later she called out from the living room again. “Jake, I need a pen and paper to write this stuff down.” “In the desk, top drawer,” he called back, automatically. Picking up the plates of omelet and toast, he headed towards the kitchen table. He froze in his tracks. The desk. “Ellie, wait—” he yelled, but it was too late. He heard her voice, strained and bewildered, from the other room, “What the hell?” “Oh, shit.” he muttered. The plates hit the table with a loud clatter, spilling egg and cheese and toast as he dropped them and ran towards the living room.

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CHAPTER 10

Her world was crashing down around her. She’d tried with all her might to look at last night with a logical mind. She’d kept telling herself that one night would be enough, that she would take the memory of their lovemaking with her and not wish for more. But, now, at this very moment, she knew her heart hadn’t been listening. Deep in her heart she’d been secretly hoping that Jake would wake up this morning having magically seen the light and fallen in love with her. She’d been a fool. Jake might be in love with someone, but it sure as hell wasn’t her. She was holding the proof of that in her hand. Ellie choked back the sobs that threatened to overtake her. The deep sadness that filled her was a bottomless pit. It was hard to believe she’d been happier than she thought possible just fifteen minutes before. She had even sung in the shower. Even with the storm raging outside, the sun had been shining in her soul. Anything had seemed possible. Then she’d come downstairs to call the moving company. If only she could go back five minutes and not have opened the desk drawer, to not have found that ring box. She wished she hadn’t dropped the box while looking for a pen, and even more she wished the box hadn’t opened, spilling out its contents. Now she sat holding her Grandmother’s engagement ring in one hand and a note written in Grammy’s neat script in the other. The words from the note swirled in Ellie’s brain but her mind felt so fuzzy they seemed more like gibberish. She read the note again.

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“My dearest Jake, you have always been a grandson to me. That is why I am giving you this ring. It has been passed down from generation to generation and I wanted it to stay in the family. I can see the love in your eyes and know it is time to pass this to you so that you can put it on your true love’s finger. I know she loves you as much as you do her. Treat her well, and don’t forget to cherish every day you have together. Love, Grammy.” “Oh, God!” Ellie groaned. How stupid could she be? Even Grammy had known Jake was in love with someone, but his best friend had been completely oblivious. No wonder Grammy had encouraged her to start dating. She’d known Jake was in love with someone else and that Ellie would always be just a friend. Grammy’s words echoed in her ears, “Ellie, honey, if I were going to spend as much time with a handsome young man as you do with Jake, he’d be my husband. Not just my best friend.” Ellie couldn’t count the number of times Grammy had said those words to her in her last few weeks alive. She should have been putting all of her energy towards getting well, but instead she was trying to beat a little sense into Ellie’s thick skull. Could she have known how Ellie really felt about Jake? Ellie shook her head. No, she was sure Grammy hadn’t known. But she had known about Jake being in love with someone. She knew that once Jake committed to someone else there would be little room left in his life. So she’d tried to warn her granddaughter. Ellie had tried to heed the warnings. She’d quit her job, packed up all her stuff and was moving hundreds of miles away. But she’d been stupid. She couldn’t resist her hormones for one night, and now the pain that had been aching in her heart for so long,

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the pain of not having Jake, had finally exploded. The pain was so intense her body actually physically ached with it. “Ellie, I can explain.” Ellie jerked around to see Jake standing a few feet away. Seeing him shot a white-hot bolt of fury through her. Yes, she’d been stupid last night. She’d risked her heart when she had known she shouldn’t. But she hadn’t known he had someone else. He had. In all of her years of knowing Jake she’d never known him to cheat, or lie, or in any other way purposely cause harm to a woman. But now he had. He’d held her in his arms. He’d touched and caressed her body, making her feel things she’d never felt before. And it had all been a lie. The sad part was, it wasn’t a lie to her. Making love to Ellie had been a lie to someone else. And he’d made her a part of that lie. Ellie, for the first time in her life, was the other woman. Her stomach churned, and she was suddenly glad she hadn’t eaten breakfast yet. “You can explain?” she shot at him, the venom in her voice surprising them both. “What can you explain? Oh, I know, I bet you can explain why, in those weeks when I was searching frantically for this ring, you didn’t tell me she’d given it to you. You can explain that you just let me assume it had been lost or stolen and she hadn’t wanted me to know.” She flung the ring box at him and went on, the rage within her building. “Or maybe you can explain why Grammy would give you the ring instead of me? Well, no need. It’s

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all here in her letter. She obviously thought you a better candidate to actually use the ring than me. Why waste such a beautiful ring on a granddaughter who is so fat and hideous no one would ever want to marry her when she could give it to some stranger off the street.” Ellie saw him flinch at her last words and knew she was being unfair. Jake had been as much of a grandson to Grammy as Ellie had been a granddaughter. Jake would have done anything for her, and quite often did. His own grandparents had died when he was a baby and Grammy held a special place in his heart. But Ellie couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t feel the remorse she could. The vile words tasted like acid on her tongue, yet she kept flinging them at him. Wanting him to feel a measure of the heartache she was feeling. “Or maybe you can explain about last night. You can explain to me why you fucked me last night, knowing you were about to propose to another woman!” Jake’s eyes widened in confusion. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ellie held up her hand, shushing him. “Save it. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear how you think you can charm your way out of this one, Jake. Grammy’s note is quite clear. There is someone. The wild ladies man has finally settled down. But you haven’t, have you? Or was I just one final fling before you popped the question? One final fuck just to say you did?” Ellie ignored the stunned expression that marred Jakes features. She kept on her tirade, afraid that if she slowed down for even a minute she would start crying. “Who is she, Jake? Who is the woman you made a fool out of by fucking me last night? Besides me. My God, I can’t believe I spent so much of my life loving you, believing in you.

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You’re nothing but a snake, just like the rest. Here you are with a woman waiting for you to propose, you even have the ring, and you spend the night fucking me. Twice. Oh, God!” The last sentence was a strangled gasp as a realization struck her solidly in the stomach, causing her to double over. “We didn’t use a condom. Oh, God. How could I have been so stupid? I could be pregnant and he’s going off to marry some other woman. Oh, Ellie, you are one stupid assed chick!” She was no longer yelling at him, but muttering at herself as she rocked on the sofa, holding her arms over her stomach. She couldn’t believe the situation she’d gotten herself into. “Ellie.” Jake put his hand on her arm. Ellie shot up. “Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me again!” She knocked his hand back with such force he stumbled back onto the couch. Taking advantage of the moment, Ellie flew past him and out the door. She had to get away from him. Once she was outside, she wasn’t sure where she’d thought she would go. They were miles from town, her car was at her house, and it was storming. She paused on the steps of the wrap-around covered porch, trying to gather her thoughts, but when she heard the slam of the screen door behind her she raced out into the rain. She wasn’t fast enough. Halfway across the lawn his hand wrapped around her arm, jerking her to a stop. In one fluid movement he’d pulled her to him and his mouth was on hers before she

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could protest. The kiss was hard and punishing, yet full of desire. Even with the cold rain soaking her and chilling her to the bone, Jake's kiss was igniting a fire in her blood. Despite herself, she sank into him, letting his tongue plunder her mouth, giving him what he sought. Then he pulled back. Thwack! Her hand sailed across his face so hard her palm stung. Fury contorted his features. “Damn it, Ellie.” Before she had a chance to register what was happening, Jake bent and grabbed her, throwing her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Ellie screamed and beat his back with her fists, but he ignored her and headed for the house.

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CHAPTER 11

This was twice he’d carried her in as many days. If she weren’t so pissed off she would have thought it to be sexy as hell. But she was pissed, and as he made his way inside with her and started up the stairs, she made her anger perfectly clear. She called him every dirty name she could think of, but Jake just ignored her. When they reached his bedroom he went in, bumping her head on the doorframe. He turned and locked the door before dumping her, wet clothes and all, unceremoniously on the bed. As soon as she hit the bed Ellie turned to scramble of the other side, but Jake was too fast for her. He grabbed her leg and jerked her back, holding her still as he straddled her and held her arms down. Something akin to fear crawled through Ellie. In her heart of hearts she knew Jake would never hurt her. But she’d never seen him this angry before. Well, it served him right. She was angry too. But more than that, she was hurt. The pain of his betrayal curdled in her stomach. She opened her mouth to tell him just how hurt she was, but one hand clapped over her mouth. “Shut up, Ellie. Now, I’m gonna take my hand off your mouth and you’re gonna lay there and listen to me. Okay?” Eyes wide, Ellie nodded under his hand and he moved it back to her wrist. “You idiotic little drama queen!” “Oh, good way to endear yourself to me. Call me names! Now get off me, you big

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thug!” Ellie forgot her promise to be quiet and started struggling against him again. This time he silenced her with his mouth. Even as angry as she was, his taste had a drugging effect. Satisfied she was sufficiently subdued; he raised his head back up. “Would you just listen to me? That ring is for you, you little fool!” Confused, Ellie stammered, “No, it wasn’t. I saw the note. It was addressed to you.” Jake laughed. “Oh, shit, Ellie. For such a smart woman, you can really be dense sometimes. I guess that’s why I love you so much, though. Grammy gave me the ring to give to you. There was no other woman that I was in love with. Only you.” Ellie couldn’t breathe, and she was sure it had nothing to do with Jake sitting on her chest. He loved her? Had he really said that? Joy flooded her. But it met with resistance in the form of her anger. She was still mad. “What? You love me? Then how come I had to accidentally find that damned ring?” “Damn it, Ellie. Why can’t you just believe me when I tell you I love you? You always have to make things so difficult.” His voice was taut with barely controlled rage. “I love you, but I don’t want to hold you back. I’ve been searching for a way to tell you for nearly a year. That’s how long I’ve had that ring. Grammy knew how I felt; she said you felt the same way, but I wasn’t sure she was right.” The anger fell from his voice, his face softening into the same emotion she’d seen on his face last night but couldn’t put a name to. “I went over it in my head a thousand times. How could I tell you I love you? If you didn’t feel the same it could ruin our

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friendship. But I wanted to. Then, when I’d made up my mind to do it, I couldn’t figure out how to do it. Do I just blurt it out? Damn it Ellie, I’ve never been any good at this kind of stuff.” Ellie was shell-shocked. She knew she should say something, but she couldn’t. Her mouth, for the first time in her life, wouldn’t work. Jake went on. “We’ve never been on a date, so how can I ask you to marry me? But we’ve been together nearly every waking moment, and a lot of sleeping ones, since we were 14. We’ve even lived together. How can the lack of official dating stand in comparison to that? I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Air rushed out of his lungs as if a great weight was lifted off his chest. “I’ve wanted to tell you that for so long. But first I didn’t know how, and then Grammy got sick. I couldn’t tell you while you were so worried about her. Then she died and you decided to go off to Chicago. “Ellie, I’m not a city kind of guy. But, I don’t want to stand in your way. I want you to be happy, and up until last night I was sure that letting you go was the only thing I could do. But I can’t do that now. Not after holding you in my arms. Not after making love to you. And certainly not with the possibility of you being pregnant with my baby. “If moving to Chicago is what will make you happy, then if you will let me, I’ll go with you. They need firefighters there too, and I guess I can get used to city life. What I can’t get used to is life without you.” Tears rolled down Ellie’s face. She must have misinterpreted what Grammy had been trying to tell her. She hadn’t meant she should stop hanging out with Jake. She’d meant Ellie should marry him.

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Choking on her tears, Ellie smiled sweetly up at Jake. “But, Jake, I don’t want to move to Chicago.” “What?” “I never did. I was only moving because I loved you so much. I didn’t figure you would ever settle down, and if you did, it wouldn’t be with me. I couldn’t stand to see you with other women anymore.” Jake let go of her wrists and rolled on to the bed next to her, pulling her with him. “I never want to be with any other woman but you,” he said softly, dropping a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. “Promise?” “Promise.” “Well, I guess that means I better go call and cancel the moving truck.” Jake grinned. “Yep.” Ellie pushed up off the bed, then stopped just short of standing up as if she’d just remembered something. “But, Jake, I’ve already closed on the house. Where am I going to live?” Jake’s face went white. “Um, here of course.” Ellie smiled sweetly. “With you? But, Jake, I couldn’t do that! We’re not married. We’re not even engaged.” She held up her left hand. “I don’t even have a ring yet.” Jake tried to pretend to be exasperated as he slid off the bed and onto one knee. Looking up at Ellie he pulled the ring box she’d hurled at him just a few minutes before

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from his pocket and opened it, holding it up for her to see. “Will this one do?” He grinned. Ellie giggled. “Well, I guess if that’s all you got. I mean this is all last minute and everything.” But her laughter died as Jake took the ring from its spot on the black velvet and slid it up her ring finger. “Ellie, you are the best friend I have in the world. You are my completion. Without you, I am just half. Will you please spend the rest of your life with me?” The tears started again, full force this time. Her answer was watery, “Yes, Jake.” It was all she could say before he caught her to him in a soul-searing kiss. “There you go again. Crying at happy endings.” Jake laughed as he wiped her tears away with his thumb. “Yeah, well, this time they are definitely happy tears.” Ellie kissed him again. Several minutes later, when she’d regained her composure, she said, “I guess I should go call those movers now.” Jake grinned and reached for the top button on her shirt. “That can wait. We need to get you out of those wet clothes first.”