A Man's Best Friend

A Man’s Best Friend G.A. Hauser

A MAN’S BEST FRIEND Copyright © G.A. Hauser, 2009 Cover art by Stephanie Vaughan Edited by Stacy Rhodes ISBN Trade paperback: 978-1-44959-277-6 The G.A. Hauser Collection

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or business establishments, events or locales is coincidental. All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. WARNING This book contains material that maybe offensive to some: graphic language, homosexual relations, adult situations. Please store your books carefully where they cannot be accessed by underage readers. First G.A. Hauser publication: December 2009

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Chapter One Ronnie Caruso walked from his office on Fifth Avenue along the wet streets of Seattle to the Fox Sports Grill. Friday had finally arrived and he was too tired for his best friend, Heath Sherwood’s party, ‘The Sherwood Extravaganza’. Heath, your parties never cease to amaze and horrify me. At the thought of the manic chaos to come, Ronnie sighed and shook his head, trying not to get soaked in the misty October drizzle. When he opened the bar’s door, he was hit with the noise level of the crowd and television screens with babbling sports pundits. It was that glorious time of year when baseball and football overlapped. Ronnie nodded hello to Drew who was behind the bar. “Hello, Mr. Caruso. Scotch?” “Yes, please.” Ronnie unraveled his scarf and removed his leather jacket, taking an available seat at the scalloped edge island-shaped bar. He draped his jacket on the seatback, unraveled his white silk scarf, and ran his hand through his hair, feeling the moisture from the drizzle. “Here you go, sir.” Drew set the glass before him. Ronnie thanked him and relaxed, sipping his drink and scanning the occupants of the room. He ran over Monday’s work schedule in his head; a remodel of office space situated over the Pike Place Market. Simple. With the Jason Brown Building and the new condominium complex at Westlake on his resume, he was suddenly flooded with work, even in this downturned economy. He knew designing one of the largest skyscrapers in the downtown core would raise some attention. Ha, no pun

G.A. Hauser intended. He smiled to himself. I’m young. That’s why no one took me seriously at first. Too young for the work I’m doing. And I know I appear even younger than I am. Twenty-five. Unheard of. He removed his BlackBerry from his suit jacket pocket and read his missed messages. One from Heath. Yes, babe, I’ll be there. He popped the phone back into his pocket. A woman’s giggle caught his attention. He sat up in his chair to see a blonde on the opposite side of the bar. She was gorgeous and sitting next to a dark-skinned, possibly Middle Eastern boy. He was gorgeous too. And if the young man was a day over sixteen he’d be amazed. The blonde was laughing at their conversation. He thought she looked familiar but he couldn’t figure out where he’d seen her before. Do I know you? Someone called Ronnie’s name. He diverted his attention from the blonde and greeted two co-workers. They waved him over, gesturing to a table for four underneath another television screen. He gathered his jacket and drink as they moved out a chair for him. After Ronnie joined them, he tried to find the blonde again. Was she an old classmate? This is going to drive me nuts. “Pretty.” Derek Rose grinned at the object of Ronnie’s gaze. Derek nudged Evan. “Caruso has an uncanny ability to attract the opposite sex.” “How nice for him.” Evan didn’t smile. Ronnie shot down the remainder of his drink and was about to reply when the woman turned her head in his direction. They connected in a vibrating exchange. When the young boy noticed he’d lost her attention, he looked to see why. Ronnie caught fury in his dark eyes. The boy soon regained the woman’s focus. Derek said, “I guess she’s not interested.” “Neither am I. I just thought she looked familiar.” “Sure, Ronnie.” Evan shook his head. 8

A Man’s Best Friend Ronnie straightened his back, tugging on the edges of his white scarf. “I’ve got a party to go to tonight. I don’t have time anyhow. Besides, she likes little boys.” He grinned mischievously. Evan snorted in irritation. “I guess that’s easier than admitting she wasn’t interested.” “Easy, Evan,” Derek said. “Why are you getting so defensive? Are you jealous of Ronnie’s good looks?” “Shut up.” Evan stared at the sports highlights on the television. “After all,” Derek said, “You’re overweight, losing all your hair, married to an ugly woman, and have bratty children.” Ronnie stared at Evan. He wondered about the sarcasm as well and why he deserved it. He and Evan didn’t know each other well enough to feel hatred. He was more familiar with Derek and they had always gotten along well. “If it’ll make you happy,” Ronnie began, “She wasn’t interested. Feel better?” He removed his jacket from the seatback and put it on. He didn’t need this shit. “But it was her loss, right?” Evan said. Ronnie and Derek exchanged curious glances. “Why are you acting as if it’s yours?” Ronnie stood and wrapped his scarf around his throat. Derek exploded with laughter at Evan’s blush. “I’ll catch you later. Bye, Derek.” Ronnie nodded to him then he paused behind the blonde before he left. It was driving him crazy he couldn’t place her. Who is she? I know her. She noticed Ronnie and smiled. He was about to ask the woman her name when the young boy shot him a warning glare. Okay, I get the hint! Ronnie zipped his jacket before exiting the bar, keeping his head down against the wind and rain. He made his way to the parking garage. He warmed the Mercedes up, rubbing his chilly hands 9

G.A. Hauser together. Right. Do I stop home and change into a pair of jeans or head straight to Heath’s party in my work clothing? “Jeans,” he said to himself and put the car in reverse, driving out onto the drenched Seattle streets. Shutting off his headlights as he pulled into the underground lot of his apartment house in Edmonds, Ronnie retrieved his mail from the box in the lobby and jogged up the staircase one flight to his front door. As he entered his home, he thumbed through the envelopes and checked his answering machine. While he opened his bills he listened to a message from his mother and another one from Heath reminding him to be at the party by eight. Heading to his bedroom, Ronnie removed his shirt and tie, digging through his closet for something to wear. He chose a pair of tight denim jeans and a soft, black cotton shirt. After freshening up in the bathroom, he checked his face to see if he needed a quick shave, staring in the mirror. The sight of his own blue eyes caught his attention. Distracted by the emptiness he read in them, Ronnie rubbed his coarse, dark five o’clock shadow and paused. I’m empty. I have no life. Work, weight lifting, and the bar…that’s it. Heath. Ronnie loved him. Deeply. Like a brother? Closing his eyes, Ronnie propped himself up on his sink and envisioned his best friend. Why when I think of you do I get hard? He dropped to his elbows and turned on the water, splashing his face. His reflection upset him. The water ran down his skin and his eyes appeared about to overflow. Pulling himself together, Ronnie wiped his face with a towel and inhaled deeply. He heard his mobile phone ringing and hurried to where he had left it on his dresser. It was Heath. 10

A Man’s Best Friend “Hey.” “Anytime now.” Ronnie chuckled. “I came home to change.” “Change into what?” “A human?” “Get your ass over here.” “Be there in five.” Ronnie disconnected the phone, smiling, but soon the smile faded. He had a big problem. He craved sex with a man as much as he craved becoming a father. Those two concepts didn’t necessarily conflict, but he didn’t want to adopt. He wanted his own offspring. So, I play straight hoping to meet a breeder. Isn’t this fun? In reality, he was petrified of his gay tendencies. What guy wasn’t? No one wanted to come out, admit it to their family, work colleagues, best friends… Ronnie pocketed his phone, grabbed his keys, wallet and jacket and headed to his front door. The last time he’d had sex? He couldn’t remember. “I need to get married. I have to have a family.” He locked the door behind him and made his way back to his car. I am so fucked. I can’t win. The weather sucked. It was damp and cold. Typical October in The Great Northwest. He drove to Heath’s house in Lynnwood. Ronnie loved Heath’s home, the leaded glass windows and the fireplace’s marble mantel. He knew he should buy a house, he just hated commitment of any kind. He was terrible at making decisions. Jesus, look at all these fucking cars. Crap, is this a Halloween party? No. It’s only the first week of October. If I see costumes I’m leaving. He squeezed between two cars which nearly blocked the driveway egress and parked behind Heath’s top of the line Ford 11

G.A. Hauser F-150 pickup. He shut the engine and sat still gazing at the house. I should have had two more shots of scotch. Inhaling for courage, he forced himself to exit the car. He rapped the lion’s head doorknocker, but knew it was too loud inside to hear. He pushed open the door and got his first view of the madness. Heath checked his watch again, wondering if Ronnie had chickened out. If Ronnie didn’t show, the party would suck. “Oh, Heath! I forgot to tell you about Destiny’s text message from Mackenzie,” Connie said. In agony, listening to worthless ex-University of Washington alum gossip, Heath nodded to Connie politely and finally spotted who he was waiting for. Ronnie entered the room. It was as if everything around Heath grew warmer, brighter. Heath lit on fire. Look at you. Jesus, you’re so handsome. Yes, it was wrong to lust after your straight friend. He’d heard Ronnie talk about wanting to start a family for the two years he’d known him, yet had never seen him in a relationship. Dates? One-night-stands? Yes. It seemed attracting women came easy for the dark-haired, blue-eyed hunk. What woman wouldn’t want a piece of that? Though Heath wanted to see more of Ronnie, and that included more of his body, Ronnie was so busy or tired they usually only met up for the gym and an occasional night out. Those evenings were spent in bars, talking about bullshit. Or at least not what Heath wanted to discuss. Though Heath dated women for most of his life, he had always been bi-curious. Well, more like Caruso-curious. I want him, no one else. Ronnie made him hot. Very hot. Fuck it. I’m gay, not bi. “Ronnie.” Heath waved him over. “I didn’t think you would make it. This is Connie. One of my old classmates from 12

A Man’s Best Friend the U. I think you guys met once before.” “Yes.” Connie held out her hand in greeting. “Nice to see you again, Ronnie. “You too, Connie.” Ronnie said to Heath, “It’s out of control, Sherwood. Your parties are always out of control.” “I know.” Heath bowed his head shyly. “Give me your coat.” He reached out his hand. “I’ll take it upstairs,” Ronnie said. “I’ll have a scotch for you when you get back.” Heath waited for his nod and watched him make his way to the upper floor. He felt a squeeze on his arm and turned to a woman who was standing with him and Connie. “Who is that? Heath, he’s gorgeous.” The woman leaned closer. “A good friend of mine, Ronnie Caruso.” “Is he available?” she asked. Heath gazed back at the empty stairwell. With reluctance he said, “Yes.” Ronnie made his way to Heath’s bedroom and threw his jacket on the bed. As he returned to the lower floor, he paused, catching a glimpse of one of the oil paintings he and Heath had found at an auction. It was of an English fox hunt. Heath the Romantic. The guy should have been born in the Middle Ages. He’s the classic chivalrous knight. He lowered his head to gather his thoughts for a moment. A magazine poked out from under the Heath’s bed. Intent on reading the cover, Ronnie was about to reach for it when Heath appeared. “Here’s your drink. Are you going to hide in here all night?” Heath smiled. “One for courage.” He shot down the booze and shivered from the potency. 13

G.A. Hauser Heath stepped closer. When Ronnie opened his eyes he was surprised to find Heath within his personal space. On the pretext of stepping back, Ronnie pointed to the oil painting. “Remember when we bought that?” “Yes, of course.” Heath kicked the magazine under the bed. “Are you stalling?” “Christ, is it that obvious?” Ronnie’s curiosity about what Heath was hiding was piqued. Why do I feel as if we’re thinking one thing, and discussing another? And this isn’t the first time. “Yes. I know you hate parties. You only come here for me.” Heath closed the gap between them. Ronnie could smell the booze on him and assumed Heath at least had a head buzz or was drunk and trying to act sober. “If you get fed up with the noise, come up here. I’ll know where to find you.” Heath grasped the muscles of Ronnie’s upper arm. “Right.” Ronnie felt odd suddenly. It had never been this awkward between them before. “Come on, the crowd awaits.” Heath smiled brightly, as if covering the sudden strangeness. Ronnie followed him down the staircase. “Oh. Heath, I have to tell you about this amazing woman I saw at the Fox Sports bar near my office. She looked like she was with this little boy. A really young teenage boy. Talk about a cougar.” “Yeah? Well, it’s all the rage lately. Nothing surprises me.” Ronnie bounded down the steps only just noticing Heath’s black leather pants. He shook his head in amusement. The music was too loud. The furniture was shoved to the side to create a dancing space. Ronnie turned down invitations to ‘boogie’ and grew weary. He slipped into the kitchen, ate a carrot slathered in onion dip and eyed a mysterious pink liquid 14

A Man’s Best Friend in a punch bowl. Islands of sherbet floated in it ominously. He gave a quick peek around to see if anyone witnessed his inspection, sunk the ladle into the bowl and poured a punch cup full. “Oh, Christ!” He jerked the cup away from his lips, pouring the contents out in the sink. “Not your cup of tea?” Two women were leaning against a wall, giggling at him. “If you like strawberry-flavored gasoline.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’m insulted. I never used gasoline. Just vodka, gin, and champagne.” “No offense, but a glassful of that and I’d be flat on my back.” Ronnie noticed the woman took full advantage of the sexual overtones and stood in front of him. “I guess we should consider it a proposition then.” She lifted the ladle out again. “Right. I mean, no.” He was wondering if he interpreted her correctly. She set the ladle back into the bowl. “I’m not touching it. I’ll stick to wine.” She raised her glass. “Are you here alone?” He spotted another curious set of eyes awaiting that same answer behind her. Ronnie had a feeling lying wouldn’t cut it. “Yes. Heath and I are good friends.” The woman held out her hand. “I’m Kim McNeal.” “Ronnie Caruso.” He took it. They stared at each other appraisingly. Ronnie formed an immediate opinion on whether it was worth pursuing. He thought she was pretty but not really his type. “You keep disappearing.” Heath had another glass of scotch for him. Ronnie took it. “Thanks.” Heath asked the woman, “Hi, do I know you?” She laughed. “No, but you know Connie. She brought me. 15

G.A. Hauser I’m Kim.” “Hi, Kim.” Heath looked anxious. “I think Connie’s doing her thing, dancing in the living room.” “Well, hopefully she hasn’t gone too far. She’s the one taking me home…so far.” Kim glanced at Ronnie with a wicked smile. Ronnie heard it, but didn’t take the bait, staring into the depths of the kitchen. Heath asked, “Drink all right?” Heath pushed Ronnie’s hair back from his face affectionately. Ronnie woke up at the caress. Wow. How drunk are you, Heath? “Yes.” He felt like Heath was waiting for him to consume it, so he shot the booze down. “Christ, Sherwood, you want me to be as wasted as you are?” “Yes.” Heath took his glass from his fingers. “I’ll pour you another.” Ronnie attempted to stop him, but Heath had already left the room. He dropped his hand to his side and noticed Kim’s gaze riveted to his. “It’s so loud here. You think there’s a quieter spot in this house?” Kim inched closer. Ronnie shrugged. “I’m sure there is. Upstairs might be.” “Perfect. Come on.” Kim grabbed his hand and dragged him through the riot of dancing bodies. She led him up the stairs to the bedroom, Heath’s room. She shut the door part way and sat on the bed. Kim craned her finger in invitation. Ronnie could tell she was tipsy. Maybe not drunk, but buzzed. The shots of scotch had caught up to him. He was stewed. When he tried to stand perfectly still, he swayed, resisting the urge to topple over, and did not join her where she sat. “What do you do for a living, Ronnie?” 16

A Man’s Best Friend He snapped back to the present again and noticed her thighs revealed from the tight mini skirt. “I’m an architect.” “Wow, fascinating. Design anything I would know?” “Yes.” Her sweater was fuzzy, pink angora and tight on her chest. Was he up for what she was offering? Man oh man… this is so unfair. Why do I want kids? That desire created an obligation in him to date/sleep with women. But inevitably he never called them after the first date. It was wrong, but he assumed the right woman would change everything. “I would? Are you serious?” “Yes. Why would I lie?” “You look so young. How old are you?” “I’m twenty-five.” Ronnie caught something move outside the partly opened door. Heath was there with yet another scotch. “I brought you a drink. Did you two want to be alone?” Approaching him, Ronnie took it, standing closer to see into his eyes. Christ, Heath, you’re as stewed as I am. “No. We just wanted an escape from the noise. Is it all right we’re up here?” “Yes, of course,” Heath replied but Ronnie sensed something wrong. “He told me he’s an architect and I would know something he designed,” Kim said. “And?” Heath crossed his arms. “Really? I mean you two aren’t bullshitting me?” “No. Why would we bullshit you?” Heath asked. “I don’t know. To get me into bed?” She smiled wickedly. Heath leaned on the door frame next to Ronnie. “What do you have going next?” It sounded personal, almost a whisper to exclude Kim. Ronnie stepped closer to him. “Nothing special. Just some re-working of office space.” Heath glanced down at Ronnie’s drink. Ronnie knew one more shot was way over his limit. Well, 17

G.A. Hauser shit, what the fuck. He shot it down and felt the intoxication wash over like a wave. “Sit here.” Kim patted the bed. Heath took Ronnie’s empty glass. “Are you two coming down soon?” “In a minute,” Kim replied. Heath asked, “Buddy?” “I’ll be down soon.” He dropped next to Kim on his bed. “I need to sit still for a while. Heath, no more shots, okay?” He nodded, his lips forming a tight line, then left. Ronnie lay back on the bed and rubbed his face tiredly, checking his watch. It was after midnight. He felt Kim slide next to him and touch his chest. Through his intoxication, Ronnie closed his eyes and tried to focus on it. Sleep began to overcome him, when his eyes sprang open at the sensation of his jeans opening. He put his hands behind his head to raise it to watch. Kim slid his zipper down and waited for a sign of approval, staring at him. Yeah. Why not? He shifted his hips off the bed as she worked on getting him naked. When he finally was, she stopped to admire him. “You’re amazing.” She smoothed her hand over his limp cock. When he felt a tingle he decided to become more involved in the action. He helped her take off her clothing and she crawled on top of him. “Hang on.” He raised a finger to express, one minute, hopped off the bed and dug through Heath’s dresser where he hoped he kept protection. A tube of lubrication distracted him. What the fuck? Lube? At the idea of having anal sex with Heath, his cock became complete erect. Heath? Rubbers and lube? Am I jumping to a conclusion here? 18

A Man’s Best Friend “Ronnie?” With a condom in his hand he spun around to Kim. “Do you use lubrication?” “Huh?” “Never mind.” I’m nuts. Shut up and screw her. After he handed her the rubber she opened the package and slid it on his erection for him. Whether it was the intoxication, or the thought that he’d rather be having sex with Heath, Ronnie began getting soft. “Fuck.” “Come here.” She coaxed him to the bed, next to her and toyed with his sheathed cock, trying to revive it. Knowing in reality he was exhausted and not up to it, Ronnie said, “I’m too drunk. It isn’t going to work.” “It’s okay. Don’t worry.” She removed the condom for him and pecked his lips. “Thank you, Kim. I’m too tired to move.” “Don’t worry, hot stuff. Tell me your phone number and I’ll take a rain check. Maybe dinner and a movie?” She started getting dressed. Ronnie was on the verge of sleep. “What’s your number? I’ll program it into my phone.” He heard her but didn’t respond. “Man, you’re wasted. Here. I’ll give you mine.” From her purse she removed a pen and an old receipt and scribbled it down. “Call me.” Heath waited at the bottom of the stairs. When only Kim came down he asked, “Where’s Ronnie?” “He’s up there. He’s really out of it.” She dug inside her purse and reapplied her lipstick. “Are you ready?” Connie asked her. “I’m wiped out.” Kim glanced back up the stairs, then nodded. “Okay, we 19

G.A. Hauser can go.” Like it was a sign, everyone started leaving. After the last person said goodbye, Heath surveyed the mess. He gave an attempt at cleaning and put leftover food away in the refrigerator. He turned off the lights, locked the door and climbed the stairs to his room. He gasped in shock. There, on top of his blankets, was a naked prince. His soft hair covered his forehead, his slender, muscular arms lay limp, his legs were spread and his eyes were closed. “Oh, Jesus Christ,” Heath exhaled in amazement. He moved closer to the bed to gaze down at Ronnie, admiring him naked. His heart started feeling like it was exploding in his chest. He rubbed his eyes and fought a ferocious battle with himself. He wanted this man. Oh, God. For the last two years he’d gone nuts for him. It was agony. He told himself he could just maintain the friendship. He wouldn’t cross the line, never try anything, never mention his feelings. In all his life, Heath couldn’t imagine Ronnie would be naked, asleep in his bed. Heath kept scrubbing his face in frustration. He dragged over a chair and sat next the bed, staring at him, every inch. “God, I love you,” he whispered to his sleeping ears. He started weighing his odds. Okay, worst case scenario, he punches me out. Best case, he lets me fuck him. Listen to yourself, Sherwood. He knew he was nuts. All Ronnie talked about was his desire to have kids. But in two years, this opportunity had never occurred. He had never been naked. In his bed. Fuck it. Heath stood up and yanked off his clothing. He lay down next to him, as softly as he could to not disturb him. Jesus, I’m naked in bed with you. Trying not to pant, Heath couldn’t catch his breath. He lay still, his heart sounding like a kettle drum in his ears. When he scooted closer, their bodies touched. 20

A Man’s Best Friend Heath reached behind that glorious mane of auburn-brown hair and inched even closer. Oh, Christ. Oh, God, I love you, you gorgeous motherfucker. He felt Ronnie’s heat, his whole body was against his; against this Greek God of a man he was ga-ga over. He swallowed down a closed throat and caressed his hair gently. Running his fingers down Ronnie’s shoulder, arm, side, hip, then back up. Maybe Ronnie felt the light caress in his dreams because he moaned softly. When Heath noticed his lips part, he went for a kiss. Was Ronnie kissing back? Heath grew bolder. Yes! He’s kissing me! He tightened his grip and explored Ronnie’s mouth with his tongue. With a tongue in his mouth Ronnie was brought back to reality. At first he assumed he was kissing Kim but something felt odd. The sound he was hearing was deep and masculine. A rough sandpapery sensation from beard growth scratched his skin. What the fuck? Ronnie opened his eyes. “Heath?” He choked in amazement and felt a flash of adrenaline course through him like pain. As Ronnie tried to lean back, he realized he was in the grip of a very strong male. “Heath. Stop.” Ronnie tried to break free. When Heath released his hold, Ronnie gasped for breath. “What are you doing?” The anguish in his best friend’s expression was more than obvious. “Ronnie, I can explain. Please,” Heath begged. “Don’t get mad.” Am I mad? Ronnie trembled as he inched backwards, getting a look at Heath’s body. Holy shit! This is what’s under your clothing? In reflex, Heath hid his hard-on, his face becoming as dark a shade of red as his cock. “Don’t hit me.” 21

G.A. Hauser Am I going to hit him? Ronnie had no intention. “Look, let’s just say it was the booze.” Heath made a move to get up. No you don’t. Ronnie pinned him down. “Don’t hurt me. Look, I’m sorry.” “Is everyone gone?” Ronnie asked. Heath appeared bewildered. “Huh?” His chest was heaving under Ronnie’s. “Are we alone?” “Yes!” Staring into Heath’s wide brown eyes first, Ronnie did what he’d promised himself he would never do. He kissed a man. Heath grunted in surprise, then reacted, encircling Ronnie’s waist and holding him tight. Holy fuck! Ronnie inhaled him, grinding his crotch into Heath’s. “Babe! You wanted this?” Heath said between kisses. “Are you kidding me?” “I don’t know what I want. So, shut up and let’s come.” Heath grabbed Ronnie’s dick and fisted it. “Motherfucker!” Ronnie yelled and reached for Heath’s. While his cock was worked feverishly, Ronnie fisted Heath’s. He was still drunk and didn’t even think about the fact he was jerking off his best friend. Man, this feels good! The minute Heath chewed on Ronnie’s ear and neck, the chills that washed over his length pushed him over the edge. Ronnie clenched his teeth and felt his balls tighten. Heath’s free hand wrapped around his and quickened the pace of his hand-job. The second he did, Ronnie opened his eyes to see them come together. Heath’s body tensed and he whimpered. Thick cream shot out of them both, spattering them like an abstract 22

A Man’s Best Friend painting. “Ronnie! Holy shit!” Heath thrust his hips in time with their jacking. I knew it. I knew it would be amazing. Goddamn it! Ronnie caught his breath and tugged his hand away from Heath’s grip and cock. At the abrupt act, Heath blinked in surprise. “I can’t do this.” Ronnie scooted backwards on the bed, making a gap between them. “I want a family. No, Heath. Not like this.” “Ronnie, don’t go. You can still spend the night. I’m sorry.” He was so angry with himself for being weak, he was furious. Staring down at his sticky stomach, Ronnie wished he could wash up, but he began to shake in fear. The look of horror he was receiving from Heath was cutting him in two. Heath opened his lips to protest. Ronnie raised his hand. “No, no, don’t say a thing.” He trembled so badly he fumbled for his clothing. “Don’t leave. Ronnie, talk to me.” Heath got to his knees on the bed. “Talk? There’s nothing to talk about, do you hear me? Nothing happened. You got that?” He managed to tug his jeans on and held the rest of his clothing in his arms. “Wait, please.” Heath climbed off the bed. Ronnie shrank back. “Jesus, Ronnie, I won’t touch you again. Just listen to me. Don’t leave it like this, please. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. Calm down. Take a minute to wash up and finish getting dressed.” “No, I can’t. Heath, just let me go home. I don’t know what to do. I need to sleep, then maybe we can discuss this. Okay?” 23

G.A. Hauser Heath lowered his head and let him pass. He heard Ronnie’s footfalls down the stairs, then the front door slammed. He sank back on the bed, covering his face with his hands. “I fucked up. I knew it. Shit. Ronnie! You want me and you won’t allow us to be together. I knew this would happen.”

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Chapter Two Ronnie was hung over. He squinted at the sunlight and put his pillow over his head refusing to believe last night was real and not some booze-induced dream. Oh, fuck, what the hell happened? Did I kiss my best friend? Did we jerk each other off? Why? I’m such an idiot! He burrowed into his blankets. When he heard a knock at the front door he freaked. He grabbed his robe and wondered if it was Heath. He opened it, having images of a tenant allowing Heath in the lobby and that’s why he didn’t buzz for entry. “Oh, hi.” Ronnie let in his neighbor, Janie, and her daughter, Meagan. They lived across the hall and shared breakfast with him every other Saturday morning. Janie handed Ronnie his newspaper and closed the door. “Geez, you look like hell. I’m used to you polished and shaved. This is unusual. You feel okay?” “Yes. I’m fine.” Ronnie rubbed his face. “What’s with her?” Meagan curled on his couch under his afghan. “She’s got a cold. We’ve been home most of last week. We’re going stir crazy,” Janie said. “Give me a minute.” Ronnie went to wash up and get dressed. “I’ll get the coffee on,” she yelled after him. After he had showered and shaved he met Janie in his kitchen where she was making fried eggs. He peeked over Janie’s shoulder. “Ew, I don’t think I can eat.” Ronnie poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. “Why? What’s wrong?” She slid an egg onto toast and

G.A. Hauser called to her daughter. Maggie scuffed tiredly to her. Ronnie pushed out a chair and then brought the little fiveyear old to his lap. She cuddled against him warmly as if she loved his affection. Ronnie kissed her hair and sat her up as her mother put her food in front of her. Both Ronnie and Meagan curled their noses. “Oh, the two of you. At least eat a slice of toast.” She spread jelly on the whole wheat bread and Meagan managed to eat it. Janie sipped her coffee and ate her eggs, then glanced up at Ronnie. “My mom called. She gets me so pissed. If she makes another crack about me leaving Kevin, I’ll scream.” “You guys are doing just fine. Right, my angel?” Ronnie hugged Meagan and she leaned back against him as she ate her toast. Ronnie used a napkin to dab her runny nose for her. “Come on, Ronnie. Tell me what’s going on.” “I’m just hung over.” Ronnie brought his coffee cup to his lips. “A night out with Heath?” She smiled. He found her eyes quickly. “What?” She laughed softly. “Ronnie, what’s wrong?” He lost his focus and stared into space. She set her fork down. “Look, I know how private you are, Ronnie, and you have never unloaded your feelings on me. I respect that, don’t get me wrong. But if you ever want someone to listen, I’m here. Okay?” What the hell was he supposed to do? He had no friends he could talk to. Only Heath. From over Meagan’s head said, “I’m confused.” She picked Meagan up off his lap and set her down. “Come here.” Janie held Ronnie’s hand and brought him to the couch in the open-plan living room. He dropped heavily and ran his fingers through his hair. He was weighing it out. Telling her. She was the closest thing he 26

A Man’s Best Friend had to a good female friend. Feeling like he was about to explode, he said, “Heath seduced me last night.” He cringed and waited for the laughter or ridicule. Janie replied, “You mean you’re not gay?” Ronnie felt pale. “What?” “I guess I always thought you guys were lovers. I mean, you never bring women home. Only Heath has been here.” She watched him closely. “Are you attracted sexually to him?” Instantly Ronnie clammed up. Janie smiled. “Er…okay. How about this one? Do you love him?” “I…I love him as a friend, you know, not…not…” Oh God, help me. “You sure?” She leaned nearer. “Yes. What makes you think that I’m gay? I don’t act like I’m gay, do I?” Sweat broke out on his skin. “Calm down. Will you calm down?” She grabbed his shoulders and shook him. Meagan had curled up in the matching recliner chair and stared at him from under the blanket. “You don’t ‘act’ gay, whatever that means. So, cut it out. I just never see women around and I know how close you and Heath are. Okay? I’m sorry.” “I’ve found hell. Oh, yes. Hell.” Ronnie rubbed his eyes in anguish. “This is way out of character for you, Ronnie. I’m starting to get the feeling you may very well be attracted to your friend and are just in a homophobic stage of denial.” She massaged his shoulder. “Are you calmer now?” He nodded, but the chill of fear wasn’t leaving his midsection. “I want you to hear me out before you go into hysterics again, okay?” She waited. “Now, just think about it. If you are 27

G.A. Hauser attracted to Heath in that ‘other’ way,” She raised both hands to demonstrate quotation marks, “don’t just chuck it for the sake of not being called a name.” She shook her head at his oncoming protest. “You have told me your track record with relationships. Zilch success in seeing a woman for more than a week. So, maybe your future lies in another direction.” “You shithead,” he tried to whisper in front of Meagan. Janie shrugged. “Whatever. The guy’s gorgeous and built like an Adonis. The two of you are amazing. Stranger things have happened, Caruso.” She rose to her feet and began clearing up the table. “Wait a minute.” He followed her. “You’re telling me what Heath wants is sane?” She set the plates in the sink. “All I’m saying is, you need to be honest with yourself. I may be wrong and you really don’t want him that way. Fine. But if I’m right, and you deny yourself the chance for a truly outstanding relationship, then you’ll end up the loser.” He opened his mouth, then closed it. He was very confused. Monday came cruel and hard. Ronnie had tried to keep busy for the last two days, but it was torture. Heath wasn’t there to play basketball with, to hit the gym, play racquetball. He couldn’t call him. He stared at his cell phone, then pocketed it. It sucked. He hadn’t slept well, laying awake at night thinking. What the fuck did he want in this life? A family. Children. In reality, he was useless at making a decision when it involved his love life. The more he thought about he and Heath mutually masturbating, the less he believed it had actually happened. No way. It was a drunken dream. It had to be. He leaned over his desk and rubbed his face. The buzz of 28

A Man’s Best Friend his intercom woke him up. “Your appointment is here.” “Send them in.” He stood and straightened his tie. When his secretary opened his door, Ronnie’s jaw dropped. “I’m Carrie Archer, nice to meet you.” She extended her hand. After showing Carrie in and offering her a seat, he said, “I know you.” He studied the attractive blonde in the tight skirt and stiletto heels. She inspected his features more closely. “I don’t think we’ve met. I would have remembered you. Believe me.” She laughed. “What?” “Nothing.” He checked his watch. “I’m famished. Is it okay if I buy you lunch?” “Yes. That would be nice.” She stood back up and walked to the door. He gestured to her to go first as he held it door open, watching her body as she walked. “Thank you.” “My pleasure.” After a quick cab ride to the Café Paloma, Ronnie gave the menu a once over. When they both ordered the same gorgonzola salad they laughed together. Ronnie leaned his chin on his palm and stared at her. Where the hell did he know her from? “I’m very impressed with you, Mr. Caruso.” “Call me Ronnie, please.” He thanked the waiter for their drinks. “Ronnie,” she said. “Did anyone ever tell you you have the most beautiful blue eyes?” She sipped her iced tea. “Ditto,” he said. “Your husband must say it all the time.” Was that too obvious? Am I kidding? I am so pathetic. “I’m not married. Or should I say I’m married to my job.” “Uh oh. Me too. I suppose I need to get a life.” 29

G.A. Hauser “Ditto.” She laughed when she used his reply. “Well, maybe we can do something about it.” He sat back as their salads arrived. “Where did you come from, Mr. Caruso?” “Edmonds,” he teased. She smiled. Carrie tried to discuss business, but Ronnie kept asking her about herself. He loved her confidence, her strength, rare for the women of striking beauty he’d encountered. Her restrained laughter and shining blue eyes gave him the diversion he needed. The diversion from his thoughts of Heath.

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Chapter Three Carrie occupied all Ronnie’s free time, taking him to theaters and openings of galleries. He’d never explored the cultural side of himself and the love affair was growing with this luscious blonde as well as with the arts. He was the jockathlete in school, focusing on sports and having no time for anything else. It was refreshing to discover this new wonderful world. He and Heath had never gone to the theater. They mostly preferred being physical and playing sports. When Heath offered, Ronnie always jumped at the chance for tickets at either Mariners baseball or Seahawk football events. Two weeks had gone by and Heath hadn’t called him once. Ronnie tried not to think about the guy, even though he was, constantly. Ironically he wanted to tell Heath about Carrie. Carrie was expected at his place after she finished work. She had offered to cook him dinner, and since she lived with two other women in a house on Capitol Hill, Ronnie offered his modest kitchen. The weather turned miserable that evening and forecast was for a chance of hail or sleet. Ronnie buzzed her into the lobby and soon after, her knock came at his unit door. He helped her, taking the grocery bags she carried, waiting to see what she would say about his humble abode. It was the first time she’d been to his apartment. They’d spent most nights meeting at his office and going out to dinner and a show. Carrie said she was tired of eating out.

G.A. Hauser Ronnie was useless in the kitchen and never turned down a home-cooked meal. As Carrie removed her coat, Ronnie placed the bags of groceries on his kitchen table and opened a bottle of wine. Once she set her purse down and draped her coat over a chair, she took the glass he handed her. His gaze followed her as she wandered around the small apartment. She halted her inspection at a plaque on the wall. “When do you find time to volunteer?” “I try to put in a few hours a week.” He shrugged modestly, sitting on the couch. Her slacks were black and tight and her blouse lacy and sheer. He could see her bra under it and tried not to stare. They hadn’t gotten into anything more serious than necking in the front seat of his car while parked in front of her house. “Let me get started.” She kissed him as she headed to the kitchen. “Is there anything I can do?” “Nope. You just relax.” Since the conversation had dried up, Ronnie put a CD into the stereo as she went to work. “Where’re your pots and pans?” Bringing his wine glass with him, he leaned on the counter in front of the galley kitchen and said, “Down there. You know, you don’t have to do this. I could take us out.” “I love to cook. Just have more wine and relax.” It was awkward not having anything to say once the small talk ceased. Ronnie knew he wasn’t good at communicating and hoped Carrie liked the ‘strong silent type’. After they ate seafood risotto, he helped her clear the table and led her to the living room. “I wish I could cook. It was really delicious, Carrie.” 32

A Man’s Best Friend “One talent you don’t have. Amazing.” She connected to his mouth, kissing him. He grunted as she landed on him, devouring him. When Carrie coaxed him to lie back on the couch, he was overwhelmed by her aggression. Her hand found its way between his legs as she hissed, “I have to have you.” I need to do this, right? I have to be in a sexual relationship with a woman to marry and have children. Look at her. She’s gorgeous. Stop thinking about how much you want to be with Heath and pay attention! “This place have a bedroom? Or do I screw your brains out here on the couch?” “Yes, it has a bedroom.” Panting, more nervous about his ability to perform than anything else at the moment, Ronnie wished he had a nice hard on. At the moment, he didn’t. “Good.” She hopped up and dragged him to his feet. “Let’s go, mister.” Carrie directed Ronnie to walk in front of her, fondling his butt as he headed to his room. The minute he stood near the bed, she began ripping off his clothing. “Holy shit!” Ronnie tried to laugh but he was petrified he could stay hard long enough to screw her. Stop thinking about Heath! Augh! Once he was naked, she sat back on his bed and stared at him. “My God, you’re perfect.” “Not perfect.” Ronnie had an urge to hide his crotch and the fact that his dick hadn’t responded. Any ‘normal’ guy would have torn her clothing off. Hoping up, she stood beside him and with a strong shove, she toppled him down onto the mattress. Instantly she took his cock into her mouth. He closed his eyes and shivered. If he looked at her he wouldn’t be able to come. Maybe Carrie can be a surrogate to have my baby. Do I have to actually marry her? 33

G.A. Hauser “Ah!” Why am I thinking of this now? “Ah! Carrie!” He was semi-erect but struggling. She sat up and stripped off her clothing quickly as she could. “Wait.” He held her back. “I’m on the pill, gorgeous.” She grinned and climbed over him. “I don’t care. Grab a rubber. My nightstand drawer.” He leaned up on his elbows, struggling to keep hard for her, tugging on his softening cock. She dug around inside the drawer and produced a condom. “Fuck.” He pumped his cock a few times in vain as it deflated. Without hesitating, she sucked on it again. Ronnie closed his eyes. He couldn’t get an erection without thinking of Heath. This sucks! The minute he was hard enough to roll a condom on she seemed to be working against the clock to get him inside before he deflated. The humiliation was killing him. She must think I need blue pills! God! Just shoot me! She was very determined to get him excited, working him hard, humping him like a machine. It overwhelmed him so completely, he could only lay there and let her take control, but it did not do a thing for him. She ate at his neck, squeezing his nipples ruthlessly. He pumped his hips but knew there was no way he was going to come. He was surprised he hadn’t gone completely soft. He heard banging. He thought it was the bed hitting against the wall so he slowed his thrusting down. The pounding increased in volume and intensity. Carrie froze. “What the hell is that?” she whispered. “I don’t know.” He tried to continue, but his erection had vanished. The noise was persistent and he couldn’t keep going. “Goddamn it.” 34

A Man’s Best Friend He pulled out, tossed the used rubber on the floor and grabbed his jeans, trying to get them closed over a sticky body. The apartment door was being hammered violently. It felt like it was shaking the whole building. He swung it open in anger. “Heath!” Heath looked like a crazed beast. His hair was wild from the wind, his cheeks were rosy and red and judging from his soaked leather bomber-jacket and blue jeans Ronnie realized he’d been riding his motorcycle, without his helmet, in the sleet. And worst of all, he smelled alcohol. “Ronnie! Stop avoiding me! Please! I can’t take it anymore. This is killing me.” “You motherfucker! You rode your fucking motorcycle without a helmet in this weather? Drunk?” Ronnie grabbed his arm and dragged him inside, pushing him to sit on the couch. “You moron! What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Seeing Heath shivering, Ronnie threw the afghan on top of him and paced anxiously. “Like you even fucking care,” Heath growled. “I do care. I care so much I could kill you for being this stupid,” he said. “Ronnie?” Ronnie jumped to see Carrie, fully clothed, at his bedroom doorway. He had completely forgotten her. “I’m sorry.” He combed his hand back through his hair in frustration. “It’s all right. I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me.” She picked up her purse and coat, inspecting Heath. Ronnie stopped her hasty retreat at his door. “Thanks for cooking dinner. I’m really sorry about this.” She glanced back at Heath, then pecked Ronnie on the lips. “It’s okay.” Ronnie closed the door and lowered his head tiredly, still holding the knob. He heard a sob and spun around. Heath threw off the blanket and covered his face with his 35

G.A. Hauser hands, leaning over his knees. “I cannot believe you rode your motorcycle in this weather.” “Forget the motorcycle,” Heath said. He stood up and faced him. “I had to talk to you. I’m sorry, okay? I fucked up, but that doesn’t mean our friendship is over, does it?” Ronnie walked by him to the kitchen. “I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” “I don’t want coffee. Ronnie, talk to me.” Ronnie couldn’t face him. He was afraid. Afraid to look at this handsome man and admit things to himself. It’d be so much easier to never see him again and continue dating Carrie. “Fuck this.” Heath headed to the door. “Wait,” Ronnie said. Heath did, not turning around. “There is no way you’re going to get back on that bike.” He opened his closet and removed a blanket and pillow, tossing it on the couch. “Heath, come here.” Heath let out a loud exhaled sigh and faced him. “Give me your jacket and keys.” Ronnie held out his hand. Moving slowly, Heath dropped the keys into his palm and held out his jacket for him. Ronnie embraced the cold leather against his warm naked skin. “How long have you felt this way about me?” “Ever since I laid eyes on you at Slugger’s Bar and Grill with Ben, two years ago.” Ronnie remembered the night. Ben was a mutual friend. “But,” Ronnie tilted his head, “You’re not gay.” “Yes. I am.” Heath’s eyes watered. “I’ve seen you flirt with women,” Ronnie whispered and Heath was drawn closer to hear. “I know.” “This is confusing me.” Was Heath as good at covering up 36

A Man’s Best Friend his true sexuality as he was? “I’m exhausted. You know where everything is. Goodnight, Heath.” Heath sat back down and rubbed his face. Closing his bedroom door, Ronnie removed his jeans and washed up for bed, seeing the spent condom in the trash can where Carrie must have thrown it. Once he climbed under the covers he lay awake, staring at the ceiling. He was trying not to think about his best friend in the next room or the night they jacked each other off. He wanted him so badly he was aching. “Great. Now I have a hard-on.” Heath couldn’t sleep. His watch was propped up on the coffee table. It was three a.m. He got up, went to the bathroom, splashed his face and stared at his reflection. “You look like hell, Sherwood,” he told himself. He hadn’t eaten or slept properly since the night he and Ronnie touched sexually. I can’t deal with this. I’m a wreck. Shutting the light, Heath walked to the bedroom door and opened it. Ronnie appeared to be sleeping deeply.

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Chapter Four Ronnie opened his eyes to morning light. He jerked himself upright and grabbed his digital clock to see why the alarm had never gone off. “Goddamn it.” He’d forgotten to set it. Late. Fucking late. He hopped out of bed and heard a yawn. He spun around to a set of brown eyes staring at him. “Hi.” Heath smiled. “Uh, hi.” Ronnie’s skin covered in goose bumps. “You have to go in today?” Heath stretched lazily. Ronnie caught sight of bronze skin. “Uh, it’s Thursday.” “Can’t you call in sick?” “No. Heath?” “Yes?” “Why are you in my bed?” “I tried the couch, honestly, but it was like the rack.” He folded back the blankets and Ronnie realized he was naked. Without a word, Ronnie headed to the bathroom. “I’ll make coffee,” Heath said. Ronnie closed the door and leaned on the sink, shaking. I’m insane. I used to be in control of my life, now I’ve lost it. After he showered, he shaved, nicking his chin from his haste and stuck a tiny piece of toilet paper on it to stop the bleeding. He dressed in his suit and tie, finding Heath in a pair of his gym shorts making him breakfast. The sight of Heath acting domestic gave him an instant hard-on. “I’m incredibly late. I don’t have time to eat anything.” Heath shot him an admonishing look, then filled a travel

A Man’s Best Friend mug with coffee. “Here.” “Thanks.” Ronnie stared at him. Damn, you look so good in my kitchen, in my shorts, making me breakfast. Why do I like this more than Carrie cooking me dinner last night? Augh! Get a clue, Caruso! “Go.” Heath gestured to the door. He stopped Ronnie, brushing the tiny piece of toilet paper from his chin, then nudged him on again. Ronnie found a spare key. “Here, lock up for me.” Heath took it. “See you later.” Speeding on his way downtown, parking in the multi-level garage near his building, Ronnie caught his breath in the elevator and jogged to his office passed his secretary. She called out to stop him, “Mr. Caruso.” “Yes?” “Ms. Archer is in your office. She’s been waiting there even after I asked her to wait in the lobby. She was quite rude.” “It’s all right, Cathy. Thank you.” He faced his name plaque on the door and took a deep breath. Closing it behind him quietly, he turned around. She was seated in the chair across from his desk, flipping pages of a magazine angrily. “Hi. Have you been waiting long?” The fury on her face told him she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He braced himself for the storm. She slammed down the magazine and rose up. “Waiting long?” Her eyes narrowed, her steps were measured and precise, like everything about her. “You never called. Not last night. Not this morning. And you’re three hours late. I just want you to know what—” His office line ringing cut her off. “Hold that thought.” He picked it up and heard Heath’s voice. “Hey, I just wanted to apologize for making you late. You want to go for a workout after work?” 39

G.A. Hauser He felt the sweat break out on his face. “Uh, later, okay?” “Oh. You busy? Sorry. Should I call back?” “Yes, later.” A sensation as cold as ice ran down his spine. He put the phone into its cradle and was afraid to turn around. When he did Carrie’s arms were crossed in a tight knot. “—I expect from you,” she continued her sentence, “is to be more responsible. I don’t want you to forget I exist when your friends come around.” “Carrie, listen.” He approached her. “I’m sorry. I should have called, but it was crazy. Out of the ordinary.” She glared at him. “I think we should keep our relationship a business one.” Panic seized him. Was it because he couldn’t come? Stay hard? My luck she’ll think I have plumbing problems. A man’s worst nightmare. He tried to stop her as she walked to the door. “Carrie, I don’t understand why you’re so upset. It’s just a simple misunderstanding.” “Oh, no, I understand it all perfectly.” Inhaling sharply in fear, he held his breath and tried to read her intelligent eyes. “I’m sorry, what else can I say?” “Nothing. Just be prepared for the meeting with the board of directors tomorrow. Do your research well, you’ll need all the help you can get.” “Carrie.” He grabbed her arm as she turned away. She sneered at him with so much contempt he released her. After she stormed out, he closed the door, leaning his head against it. On the drive home Ronnie went through the presentation in his mind. He’d drawn the rough sketches on his computer program and now needed just to overlay the finishing touches. Preoccupied, he parked in his assigned spot, entered the lobby with his briefcase and keys and headed up one flight. Fumbling to get the key in the lock, Ronnie was unprepared 40

A Man’s Best Friend when his door opened and Heath was there complete with a smile and his gym bag. Heath opened the door wider and stood back for him to pass. “What the hell is wrong? Bad day? You look awful.” “I have a ton of work to do for tomorrow. I don’t think I can squeeze the gym in.” Ronnie dropped his briefcase on the floor and loosened his tie. Heath headed to the kitchen and returned with a glass of wine. Ronnie laid his jacket on a chair and opened the top button of his shirt. “Thanks.” He took the glass and sipped it. “Am I the reason for your crappy mood?” He tapped Ronnie’s shoulder. “Sit down.” It didn’t take any persuading for Ronnie to collapse like a bag of cement into a chair, the glass dangling from his fingers. Heath moved behind him and started massaging his shoulders and neck. “You work too hard. You let it get you all stressed out.” Ronnie’s head drooped forward. “Oh, that feels excellent,” he moaned. Heath worked his muscles. “You need some pampering. No one nurtures you.” “Ha.” Ronnie knew that was correct. He thought about Carrie. Heath came around in front of him and crouched down, removing Ronnie’s shoes. “Uh, Heath.” Ronnie felt odd again. Heath knelt in front of him, his smile fading to an expression of pain. As Ronnie stared nervously back, Heath ran his hands up the sides of Ronnie’s thighs, the silk of his trousers crushing in his palms. Ronnie tensed his body and finished his wine in a gulp. Heath popped the top button of Ronnie’s suit trousers and paused, then he lowered the zipper. Ronnie sat still, barely breathing. He stared down at this 41

G.A. Hauser gorgeous stud who wouldn’t meet his eyes any longer. Heath exposed Ronnie’s erection from his briefs, wrapped his fist around it and then his lips. No problem getting hard now! Ronnie tried not to think. It was happening. That’s all. Why it was happening he couldn’t answer. I must want this. I can just as easily push him away. Instead, he was feeling intense pleasure so strong he almost had to clench his teeth not to shout out from it. He leaned his head back and relaxed his legs, the empty glass falling silently to the carpet. Heath was in heaven. He couldn’t believe Ronnie was allowing this. I knew it. I knew this is what we both want. The taste and scent of Ronnie sent him reeling. God! This is incredible. Finally! Heath had sucked another guy’s cock before but not one he wanted this much. Adjusting his position so he was able to take most of Ronnie’s length into his mouth, Heath moaned in ecstasy. With one hand surrounding the base and the other massaging Ronnie’s thighs and balls, Heath increased the speed and suction, craving the taste of Ronnie’s cum. “Oh, Jesus,” Ronnie whimpered. “Fuck!” He threw back his head and tensed his leg muscles. Heath closed his eyes and actually grew emotional at the act of giving his best friend a BJ. He dug his fingers under Ronnie’s balls to massage his ass and sack. “Holy fuck!” Heath watched Ronnie’s hands clench the arm of the sofa. Throbbing began at the root of Ronnie’s cock. Heath anticipated his mouth filling with cum. Hearing Ronnie’s grunt and gasp of bliss preceded the load. Heath milked Ronnie’s cock and kept swallowing, squirming he was so excited. Using one finger to rub between his legs, Heath prolonged Ronnie’s climax. 42

A Man’s Best Friend “Holy shit.” Heath sat back on his heels, first gazing into Ronnie’s open pants, then up at his face. Dripping with perspiration, Ronnie was slow to recuperate and sat still, his hand on his chest as he gasped for breath. When Ronnie finally connected to his gaze, Heath received one of the most loving expressions Ronnie had ever bestowed on him, something Heath never anticipated. It sent a rush of delight over him. Heath climbed onto his lap and kissed Ronnie, softly at first, then more passionately, combing his hands into his glorious, thick head of hair. Ronnie felt his eyes welling up with hot tears. He squeezed Heath tight and ate at his mouth hungrily. Okay! Admit it. This is as good as sex can get. Fine! I’m in love with my best friend. The phone rang and they both jumped and parted, panting, staring at each other. Ronnie gazed over at it as it rang. Heath nodded. “It’s okay.” Reaching to the side table, Ronnie picked it up clumsily. “Hello?” “Hello, Ronnie.” “Mom?” He choked nervously and sat up, running his fingers through his hair. “Is it a bad time?” “Uh, uh, no.” Heath stared into his pants. “Are you coming to the house this weekend for your birthday?” “My birthday?” He tried to close his zipper. “Yes, Ron. It’s this Saturday. Do you already have plans?” When he tried to balance the phone against his shoulder, it 43

G.A. Hauser fell from his ear as he tried to use two hands to work his zipper. He grabbed it and brought it back to his face. “No. I can come out. Sure.” “Okay, we’ll expect you. Goodnight, Ronnie.” “Right, bye.” He hung up and gazed at Heath as Heath leaned over his lap and gave him an adoring smile. “God, you’re incredible,” Heath purred. At hearing his mother’s voice in his head, Ronnie gulped nervously. “I…I have a ton of work to do.” Did I just let Heath suck my cock? Man, getting off with him is becoming habitforming. “I know.” Heath got to his feet. Ronnie’s hands shook as he finished fastening his pants. He followed Heath to the door. Heath leaned against it and curled Ronnie into his arms gently. “Try and get some sleep too.” Feeling shy at all his care, Ronnie laughed softly. “Yes, dear.” When Heath drew him close to kiss, Ronnie blinked in surprise. Were they a couple or something? Heath hummed as if he loved the touch of his lips and tongue. Ronnie had a feeling Heath could stand and smooch for an hour. “I really… have… to work,” he said between kisses. “Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Heath caressed his face. Waving, Ronnie locked his door after he left and tried to stop the tremors in his limbs. He opened his briefcase and took out his laptop, lost himself on the image of Heath on the floor in front of him, shook himself out of his trance and tried to concentrate.

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Chapter Five Ronnie arrived early to set up the conference room with his computer and screen backdrop for his presentation. He drank a cup of coffee, ran a brush through his hair, buttoned the vest of his best three-piece suit, and waited. Four sharply dressed men and women filed into the conference room. He shook hands with Mr. Earl Vickers, president of Cybermoon Corporation, and two members of their board. Carrie brought up the rear, scowling at him. Not letting her attitude throw off his presentation, Ronnie made sure the visitors were comfortable as Cathy brought them coffee. After they settled down, Ronnie went over his computer models and drawings of the simple remodeling of an office space. The clients were expressionless, hardly moving. He thought he’d lost them. In what seemed like an eternity, Ronnie finished his monologue. Mr. Vickers stood up and shook his hand. “Fine job. I can see why you were so highly recommended.” “Thank you, sir.” Ronnie took his firm grasp. “Let’s take a break and I’ll give you just some ideas on fine tuning.” Ronnie nodded, smiling in relief. He grinned shyly at Carrie and received one back. Just as he was making his way across the room to Carrie, one of the other female employees got in his way. “It’s a really great design. I wonder could we get together later? For a drink to discuss it in detail?”

G.A. Hauser “No, thank you. I don’t think so.” Ronnie met Carrie’s eyes. The woman turned to where he was staring. “Oh. Okay, will you excuse me?” Ronnie watched her leave as Carrie crossed her arms and shook her head at him. He shrugged innocently. “Beating them off with a stick?” “Forget that. So? Do you hate me?” “No,” she laughed softly. “Can I buy you lunch later?” “Yes.” She leaned on him. “Good.” He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. There were no rules about having girl friends. Carrie was growing on him. What harm was there to see her socially? He didn’t want to go through another embarrassing love-making session, but if he made excuses, perhaps he wouldn’t have to. By noon Ronnie was able to escort Carrie to the parking garage. He opened the car door for her and she climbed in and fastened her seatbelt. “I’m sorry, Ronnie. I behaved like a child.” “It’s all right.” He started the Mercedes and peered into the rear view mirror before he backed up. If this becomes a series of ‘don’t worry, it happens to all men at one time or another’ session, I’ll scream. And if she mentions male enhancement pills, I’ll die. She wrapped her hand around his thigh. “No, it isn’t all right. I was wrong to get angry with you.” “Good.” He paused before pulling out onto Fifth Avenue. “You’ve probably known your friend a lot longer than you’ve known me, so, who am I to interfere in your relationship.” “Relationship?” He laughed nervously as he merged into a 46

A Man’s Best Friend lane. “Friendship. Whatever. You know what I mean.” He sensed her staring at his profile while her hand crept closer to his cock. He tried to loosen his collar and not sweat. He was unsuccessful at both. Smoothing her hand over his crotch, she crooned, “You were magnificent in there.” “Was I?” So much for her being just a female friend. “Oh, yes. Mr. Vickers is very taken by you. You really have a charming way about you, don’t you?” She squeezed his dick between her fingers and he shifted nervously in the leather bucket seat. He had to get her to stop touching him. “I can’t drive with you playing with my dick.” “But you have the nicest dick.” “Carrie, not while I’m driving.” The teasing was distracting his attention from the road. Am I cheating on Heath? No. That’s insane. I’m allowed to date. Aren’t I? Have a family…kids. Heath’s not my ‘boyfriend’, he’s my friend. While they drove into the parking lot of McCormick and Schmick’s, she was silent. Ronnie tried not to read into it. Neither one of them were chronic talkers. Parked and ready for a nice lunch, he held her hand as they entered the sleek local fish house. The clientele appeared very business-oriented and the scent of food made his stomach grumble. They were shown to a table. Once Carrie was seated, he relaxed and thanked the hostess for the menu. His focus on the selection, Ronnie heard the waitress greet them. He smiled and realized it was the woman he met at Heath’s last party. His cheeks grew hot in embarrassment. After a quick moment, she realized it too. “Hello! How are you?” she asked excitedly. Carrie glanced up from her menu and Ronnie prayed the 47

G.A. Hauser woman would be discreet and not mention their near miss at a one-night stand. He forced a smile. “Hi, I’m fine. You?” He knew Carrie was hanging on every word. He forgot her name and it hung miserably in the air. “Carrie, this is…um…” “Kim. Kim McNeal,” she said in irritation when she figured out he was clueless. “Right, Kim.” He wanted to die. He shifted uncomfortably and said, “Carrie, you order first.” “I was going to have a soft drink, but I changed my mind. Gin and tonic please.” Once Kim took both their orders and left, Ronnie rubbed his forehead tiredly. “One of your old girlfriends?” she asked. “No, nothing like that.” He drank his water and choked, feeling more awkward than words could express. “Forget about it. What are you doing tonight? It’s Friday. Want to go dancing?” His mind was wandering as Kim glared at him. She’ll spit in my food. Or worse. “Hello? You still with me?” Carrie poked his arm. “Huh? Yes, dancing. Wonderful.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair. Kim brought their drinks and left without a word. “Hey, blue-eyes, do you want to go away this weekend?” “This weekend?” He snapped back into focus. “I can’t. I’m going to my parents’ house tomorrow for my birthday.” “Your birthday? Ronnie, why didn’t you say something? I had no idea. We’ll have to do something special when you get back.” “Right, when I get back.” Thinking of Heath, he became distracted again. He picked up his lemonade and spotted Kim’s scowl. Shaking off his thoughts, he leaned over the table and 48

A Man’s Best Friend said, “Tell me more about yourself.” Anything to stop thinking about Heath.

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Chapter Six It was late Saturday afternoon when he finally hit the road to his parents’ house in Snohomish. He turned up the volume of a Led Zeppelin song, Whole Lotta Love. His mind wandered to his friend again. Heath had given him the CD when he had said he loved their music. Heath, dear God, what the hell am I going to do with you? They’d gone to the gym together that morning and Ronnie couldn’t believe the difference in him. His affection, his smile, his wink, the light caresses. It made his head spin. Carrie was easy. He could hold her hand, peck her on the cheek in public, no one blinked. Heath’s relationship was filled with complications, but Ronnie couldn’t ignore the sexual yearning for him. It was like he was torn in two. Choose between an ‘acceptable’ lifestyle and children, or the man he was in love with. That’s not fair. I want both. He drove down his parents’ street, parked, and checked the clock on the dash. Though it was only dinner time, it was dark outside and the windows of the house were lit up and glowing warmly. The front door was unlocked. He padded in softly and found his mom and dad in the kitchen. “Hi guys.” His father reached out to him. “Hello, Ron. We expected you earlier.” “I got errands done earlier. Sorry.” “Hi, Ronnie.” His mom kissed his cheek, her wooden spoon elevated to prevent the tomato sauce dripping off. “Are you dating anyone?”

A Man’s Best Friend He rolled his eyes and laughed at the tiresome question. “Wow, two seconds. New record, Mom. Yes. But if I tell you about her you’ll keep asking me to pop the question.” He leaned over her shoulder to see what she was preparing. “You don’t visit often enough.” “Yes, I do.” Ronnie asked his father, “Any beer?” “Yes.” Ronnie relaxed at the kitchen table as his father placed a bottle in front of him. “What do you want for your birthday?” his dad asked, joining him. “Anything you want to give me is fine,” Ronnie replied. “You decide,” his mother said. “It’s a special day.” “I’m twenty-six. There’s nothing special about it.” “Huh, twenty-six already,” his dad said sweetly. “Where did the time go?” “It flies, Randy.” Ronnie caught his mom’s wink and took his phone out of his pocket when he felt it vibrate. Heath had sent him a text. ‘Miss u, birthday boy.’ Ronnie smiled. “From your new girlfriend?” his dad asked. “Uh. Yeah.” Ronnie slipped his phone back into his pocket. “When are we going to meet her?” His mother looked over her shoulder. “Let me date her more than a couple of weeks, okay?” Ronnie felt his nerves kick in. He never should have mentioned her. Now he’ll never hear the end of it. “Bev, leave the boy alone. He’s only twenty-six, not fortysix. Don’t rush him.” “If he wants children, he needs to settle down.” I want children. Ronnie frowned and drank his beer. After watching the late news with his parents, Ronnie sat 51

G.A. Hauser on his bed in his briefs and pushed a few buttons on his cell phone. “Heath,” he said. “Hey, good lookin’! You still in Snohomish?” “Yes. I’m getting ready for bed. Did I wake you?” “No. I was watching TV.” It was quiet, then Ronnie said, “I miss you too.” “Nice!” He smiled. “Happy Birthday. It’s after midnight so technically it’s not anymore. Was I the first to wish you one at the gym this morning?” “Yes.” Ronnie felt his cheeks heat up. “Good. I’ll have your present for you when you get back.” “Don’t buy anything.” “I haven’t.” Ronnie understood and chuckled. “What am I going to do with you?” “Want a list?” Though Ronnie craved him, he felt afraid. “Okay, Heath. I just wanted to touch base with you before I went to bed.” “I’m glad. Night, Ronnie.” “Night.” He disconnected the call and stared at the LCD. Carrie didn’t call or text him to tell him happy birthday. He brought up the screen to send her a short hello, then reconsidered. He shut it off and crawled into bed.

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Chapter Seven Ronnie drove home after the boredom of his folk’s house drained him. Even though they were loving and attentive, he ached of loneliness. They weren’t his life partner. Nothing compared with that type of relationship. He came to a halt in a driveway, checked his watch and sat staring at the house. It was five-fifteen in the evening. He opened the car door and stood in front of the lion’s head knocker, rapping it. It reverberated all over the quiet Lynnwood neighborhood. It only took a moment for it to open. “Hello! Was I expecting you? I can’t remember.” Heath opened the door wider. Ronnie entered and felt the fireplace’s heat, wonderfully comforting and inviting. He unraveled his scarf and threw his leather jacket on a chair. When he turned around he found chocolate brown eyes gazing patiently at him. He took a moment to assess this man before him, his wavy brown hair, his soft blue jeans, his fleece sweatshirt, suddenly as soothing as a warm fire on a frozen night. He stood before Heath, face to face; matching six foot two inch height. He ran his hands through his thick waves of brown hair, closed his eyes and drew Heath into a kiss. Heath groaned passionately and embraced him. They stood kissing, Ronnie concentrating on the feel of him, Heath making delightful whimpering noises at the intensity. Ronnie stopped and reached for Heath’s hand. Heath followed him up to his bedroom. Ronnie left Heath at the threshold of the room as Heath

G.A. Hauser waited. Standing in the center of the bedroom, Ronnie undressed. Heath tried to swallow down his dry throat as Ronnie opened his shirt. When that fell to the floor, he watched him take off his shoes and socks. Heath held onto the door frame to steady himself. Ronnie dropped his jeans to the carpet and stepped out of them. He wore no briefs. His light eyes were shimmering in the dim light. “Take me.” Heath squeezed the maple frame mercilessly. He knew he hadn’t heard right. He opened his lips to ask him to repeat it, but nothing came out. “Take me,” Ronnie answered his unspoken request. The flash of adrenaline Heath felt was so strong he thought he may pass out. He couldn’t move. Ronnie peeled back the covers of his bed and laid on it. Heath had to consciously will himself into the room. He stared down at this fantasy and held up his hand. “Wait a minute.” He held out his arm and pinched his forearm. “Ouch. Okay, I’m not dreaming.” Ronnie laughed softly. “Come here.” Heath took his sweatshirt over his head and pushed his jeans down his legs. He met Ronnie on the bed and they mirrored each other. “Tell me what I should do.” Ronnie’s eyes were wide and innocent. Heath was no authority himself. He’d never done it to a man. Not all the way. He had prepared for the occasion, though. Just in case. A tube of unopened lubrication was in the dresser drawer, along with condoms. Heath set them within reach, then he ran his hand along Ronnie’s silky skin. Heath explored him all over, but couldn’t resist that cock. He tried to leave it alone, but it wasn’t possible. He ran his 54

A Man’s Best Friend hands over Ronnie’s length and made him shiver. “Oh, God,” Heath said, “Are you sure you want to do this? For me to make love to you?” “Yes.” Heath didn’t know what had happened to bring Ronnie to his bed that night. He was well aware Ronnie was seeing a woman. So? Where did this come from? Now? Was Ronnie thinking about the blowjob he gave him? Maybe it’s obsessing him. God, I hope so! “Tell me I’m getting this straight. You want me to have anal sex with you?” “Heath!” Heath held up his hand to prevent another word. “Roll over.” Ronnie flopped face down on the bed. It took a moment for Heath to react. He was preoccupied with the emotional level. What did this mean? Were they a couple now? Making love meant a lot to Heath. It wasn’t casual sex in his book. And Ronnie’s timing? Just back from a weekend with his parents? Should I do this? Another look at Ronnie’s rounded bottom and relaxed posture was enough. Heath may never get this chance again. He parted Ronnie’s legs, resisted the urge to bury his face into his crack and grabbed the lube. The overwhelming urge to ask Ronnie if he was sure, again and again, was beginning to distract Heath. Why? Why now? Why not when I seduced you at the party? Why not during the week after that night? Why after you just met a woman? Fuck it. You want me to screw you? I’ll screw you. Heath covered himself with the slippery gel, then coated Ronnie’s ass. At the first touch of Heath’s fingers to his rim, Ronnie 55

G.A. Hauser closed his eyes and curled the pillow under him. The tingles washing over his skin were both scaring and thrilling him. If I do this, I can’t take it back, can I? That’s it? Write off having my own kids? What now? Surrogacy? Adoption? Oh, Christ, that feels good! The index finger inside him was almost enough to make him spurt. Almost. Now he’s fondling my balls. Heath! I love you! “Agh!” Ronnie couldn’t help but cry out. Nothing had penetrated him before. “You okay?” “Hell, yeah. Christ, Heath, I’m on fire.” Heath chuckled. Suddenly it seemed as if Heath’s hands were all over him at the same time. Ronnie squirmed against the bed in anticipation. Heath wrapped a strong arm under Ronnie’s hips and picked him up off the bed. When Heath’s dick was on target, it began sinking inside him, through the slippery gel. Tensing his muscles, Ronnie waited for pain. Heath was slow and gentle, edging in, inch by inch. Ronnie felt the hair stand up on his neck and a chill wash over him. “Wow.” Heath perked up. “Am I hurting you?” “No, I’m fine.” “Relax. Try and relax all your muscles.” Ronnie made a conscious effort to do that, and the moment he did, Heath plunged in. “Motherfucker!” The shock of being screwed was almost as intense as the thought of it. “Tell me when you want me to stop.” Never. “Okay.” “Okay stop?” “No. Okay, I’ll tell you.” 56

A Man’s Best Friend Heath penetrated to the hilt. He grabbed Ronnie’s cock in his slippery hand and started moving in a rhythm. “Oh, holy shit.” Heath thrust deeply. The climax rose so quickly and intensely, Ronnie couldn’t believe the sensation. He went crazy fucking Heath’s palm. “Oh, Jesus Christ,” he gasped in amazement. Ronnie felt as if his body filled with liquid lava as Heath came. Heath’s deep masculine grunting made him shiver in excitement. They were bathed in sweat and choking for air. Jamming his cock into Heath’s palm, the head of Heath’s cock riding over his prostate, Ronnie came, his eyes feeling as if they rolled back in his head. A moment of complete stillness followed where Ronnie caught his breath and Heath’s dick throbbed inside him. Heath pulled out and lay over Ronnie’s back. Ronnie couldn’t move. He felt slightly shell-shocked. Nudging Heath, Ronnie waited as Heath fell to his side. They met eyes. Heath smiled slyly. “What?” Ronnie asked. “You look absolutely astonished.” “I am. Jesus Christ, I never felt anything like it.” “Good?” Heath asked. “Good? You kidding?” Ronnie leapt on top of Heath and pinned him down. “I can’t believe how good.” “Neither can I.” Heath gazed up at him dreamily, his eyes were on fire. “Happy Birthday, Caruso.” Ronnie wanted to tell him how much he loved him. He met his lips with a kiss instead. Ronnie walked through his apartment door very late Sunday evening. From the moment he and Heath had 57

G.A. Hauser consummated their love affair to the smooching goodbye on Heath’s porch, Ronnie knew he was in love. He didn’t want to come home. If he didn’t have to work in the morning, he wouldn’t have. They had touched every place there was to touch, tasted everywhere there was to taste and climaxed twice, each. In between sexual playtime, they talked, but only about the trivial things in life. By the time he made it to his own living room, Ronnie was completely sexually satiated and totally exhausted. The light was flashing on his answering machine. Carrie had called him several times, which included his mobile phone. He collapsed in his chair and picked up the cordless. “Hey, I’m home. Is it too late to call you? Were you in bed?” “No. I was awake. I’m glad you called. I was beginning to get worried. Did you get my message?” He laughed. “Yes.” Several. “I was busy with the folks. You know.” “No problem. I made dinner reservations tomorrow night for your birthday.” “Oh?” He wasn’t sure if continuing to go out together was leading her on, or if he could explain he just wanted to be friends. I hate doing that. “Eight o’clock? Top of the Space Needle?” “Oh, nice. I must be special.” “You are. My treat.” “That’s not necessary. I certainly don’t expect you to pay for a dinner that expensive.” Uh oh. I think she already thinks we’re more than friends. And that doesn’t include the failed attempt at sex. Damn. Never should have let her get me into bed. I’m an idiot! “My pleasure. I’ll see you tomorrow.” “At least let me pick you up.” “Okay. That would be nice.” “Good. See you about a quarter of eight.” 58

A Man’s Best Friend “Perfect. Goodnight, Ronnie.” “Night.” He hung up and shook his head. “I have a bad feeling about this.” He motivated himself enough to stand and wash up for bed.

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Chapter Eight Monday night Ronnie checked himself out in the fulllength mirror inside his closet door. He straightened his suit jacket, dabbed on cologne, and shut off the lights. On his drive to Capitol Hill, Ronnie began going over scenarios in his head for letting Carrie know this wasn’t a serious relationship. He didn’t have to tell her he was seeing Heath, he could just say he wasn’t ready for a commitment. I wonder if I ask her to be a surrogate mom if she would consider it? “Hmm.” She’s beautiful, young…I wonder if she’d be willing? Parking was tight on the street, so he pulled into her driveway behind her roommates’ cars. Jogging up her front stoop, Ronnie ran his hand through his hair and rang the bell. When she opened the door, he was dazzled at the sight of her. Her hair was pinned up and French braided, her strapless gown was black sequined, and she had a showy rhinestone neckpiece of red and white stones, a matching pair of earrings on her lobes. “Oh my God.” Am I nuts? I’m going to stop seeing this woman? Look at her. “Can I take that as a compliment?” She smiled. He woke up and pecked her on the lips. “I’m sorry. Yes.” She handed him her velvet cape. He held it for her and she leaned against him as he placed it around her naked shoulders. As he ogled her, Ronnie almost tripped over his own feet. After she locked up the house, Carrie waited. He hurried to open the car for her, closed it, and sprinted to the driver’s side. “You look fantastic.” Turning the key in the ignition,

A Man’s Best Friend Ronnie took a second to admire her. “Happy Birthday, handsome.” “Wow. I’m a lucky boy.” He began to reconsider. Again the tug of war was on, and having babies with this fabulous woman was beginning to seem logical. Finding parking in the lot adjacent to the Space Needle, Ronnie ran around to her side of the car to escort her out and held her elbow as they approached the Needle. They rode the elevator, smiling adoringly at each other. The restaurant was five-hundred feet up and in daylight, had a panoramic view of the city and Puget Sound. Ronnie squeezed her hand as Carrie told the hostess her name and was led efficiently to their reserved spot. He helped Carrie with her cape, draping it over a spare seat at their table for four. Once she was seated, Ronnie sat across from her and was shown the wine list. “Do you want wine?” “Yes. We can’t celebrate your birthday without a nice bottle.” “Well, it was actually Saturday, but we can pretend it’s today. Any preference in the wine selection?” he asked. “Today, Saturday, it’s still your day. So you choose.” Ronnie grinned excitedly. “I can get used to this.” He ordered a bottle from a local Washington winery and then leaned across the table to this living dream. “I cannot believe how gorgeous you look.” “Ronnie, you’re embarrassing me.” She blushed shyly. “But I love it, don’t stop.” She laughed. “I wish everyday was my birthday.” He reached his hand across the table for hers. She placed it in his delicately. He couldn’t get over the softness of it, her small fragile bones. It felt like he would crush her if he squeezed her too hard. It was such a contrast to Heath’s size and strength. “I wish we could share another night together, like the last one,” she said, “Only I’d change the ending a little.” 61

G.A. Hauser Knowing she was talking about the night Heath had showed up at his apartment, he became nervous at what perception she had gotten. He had no idea how to respond without bringing up Heath or his bad sexual performance. Carrie brought his hand to her cheek. He thought she was just going to brush it against it, but instead she surrounded his middle finger with her ruby lips. Watching her suck his digit flustered him terribly. He glanced around and noticed a man with white hair spy their indiscretion. “Uh, Carrie?” She was giving his middle finger excellent head. “We’re in public.” When she nipped the tip he jerked his hand away almost upsetting a water glass. “Wish that was your cock,” she whispered. Holy shit! I’m actually getting hard. The waiter appeared with their bottle of wine. “Here you go, sir.” “Thank you.” Ronnie cleared his throat and tried to focus on the waiter while Carrie teased and licked her lips at him. The bottle was opened and two glasses were poured. Carrie raised hers in a toast. “To the birthday boy.” He tapped her glass and sampled it. “It’s good.” The waiter asked, “Would you like to hear the specials?” Carrie told him, “Not yet. I wanted to wait and drink a glass of wine first.” He nodded graciously and left. A plane was flying low, its blinking lights mesmerizing Ronnie through the window. “Hey, blue eyes.” She asked, “Tell me about that friend of yours.” He snapped back into focus. “What friend?” “The tall good looking man who came to your apartment the night we were together. What happened to get him so 62

A Man’s Best Friend upset?” I’m not going there. Ronnie signaled the waiter, hoping he didn’t have to answer her question. “What did you say the specials were?” he asked. The waiter rattled off a few choices. “The seafood trio sounds great.” Ronnie gestured to Carrie and she ordered the same thing. They both asked for sky city greens salad. After the waiter refilled their wine glasses and left, Ronnie sipped the alcohol down. “Ronnie, who was the hunk?” Damn. “Uh, a friend.” “Does he have a name?” “Why are you so interested in him? Are you bored with me already?” he teased. She stuck her toes up his trouser leg. “I’m interested in anything that interests you, gorgeous.” Peering under the table, he noticed she’d shed a stiletto high heel. “My, aren’t we being inquisitive?” She froze. “Is there something between you two?” “No,” he reacted angrily. Terror seized him. “Look, Ronnie, don’t hide anything from me. I don’t want to start our relationship off based on mistrust—” “Carrie, enough. There’s nothing going on between Heath and me, so cut it out and change the subject.” He realized he’d raised his voice. He cheeks became overly hot. “He had a fight with his girlfriend, that’s all, okay?” She bit her lip. “Okay, sure, whatever you say.” Her expression stayed hardened. He reached for her hand again and kissed it. “I’m a little uptight about work, that’s all. I’m sorry I snapped at you. Will you forgive me?” If she suspected he and Heath were lovers, he’d die. 63

G.A. Hauser It appeared to make a difference. “Mm, your kisses are like butterfly wings.” He released her hand reluctantly as the salads were set out. “Carrie?” he asked. “Am I forgiven?” “Of course. After all, this is your birthday dinner.” They ate in silence, finishing the bottle of wine between them. Ronnie tried to stop the fear, the creeping dread that washed over him. My God, what would happen if this got out? He finished his meal bitterly, unhappy at the thought of having to hide his male lover, and disgusted with himself that he would do just that. After dessert and banal conversation his mood improved. The bill came and Ronnie debated on splitting it, but Carrie insisted on paying. The credit card signed, she stood and handed Ronnie her cape. He helped her drape it over her shoulders and clasped her hand. “Thank you. It was fabulous.” “My pleasure.” They rode down the elevator and strolled to the parking lot. It was sparsely populated due to the fact that it was Monday and the theaters were closed or nearly empty. He opened the car door for her and she relaxed in the passenger’s seat. When he joined her, he inhaled her sweet perfume and gave her a smile. She leaned against his shoulder in the confines of the car, looking for a kiss. Her rhinestones sparkling in the dim lamppost light, Ronnie moved to peck her on the lips. Instantly she grabbed between his legs and massaged his balls. He peeked down at her and said, “This isn’t a very good place for us to get excited. Should we get going?” 64

A Man’s Best Friend Through clenched teeth she groaned, “I wish I could have it now.” At pressure against his ass, he jumped in surprise and removed her hand gently. “Shall we relocate?” “I thought you’d never ask.” “My place or yours?” “Yours. Mine isn’t empty. Roommates, remember?” Ronnie nodded, starting the car and driving to Edmonds, terrified of telling her ‘no, I don’t want sex.’ He wished he didn’t want children. It made his life a complicated mess. The entire drive Carrie ran her hand from his knee to his crotch, caressing him, making him semi-erect. He couldn’t deny it was delicious and he enjoyed it. He parked, opened the door for her and held out his elbow to escort her to his apartment. The moment he closed the door to his unit behind them, she pinned him against it, sucking at his mouth and fondling him through his pants. His suit jacket was dropped to the floor, and Carrie untied his tie and opened his shirt. He tried to catch his astonished breath as she sought to get him naked, again. No! I can’t do this. I know I can’t. Panting, unable to breathe normally, he struggled to come up with an excuse, but nothing materialized. And she had spent so much money, he felt as if he owed her. Is that how women feel? It appeared she grew frustrated he wasn’t getting undressed fast enough. Thinking she was about to start tearing at the material of one of his good suits, Ronnie said, “Okay, baby, calm down. Maybe we can have a cup of—” The diversion failed. Carrie worked on his shirt buttons, the garment that gave her the most problems, while his pants fell to the floor soundlessly. “Holy crap!” The second his cock was exposed, he felt her mouth on it. 65

G.A. Hauser He tried to get hard while she was connected to him like a Hoover. They hadn’t made it passed the inside of the doorway. With his slacks gathered around his ankles, Ronnie leaned against the door and closed his eyes. “Jesus!” He had no idea if she wanted him to come in her mouth, or try and make love to her again, which he couldn’t do. He was about to ask her to stop so he wouldn’t screw up again, when he jumped out of his skin. “What?” She sat on her high heels and looked up, wiping her mouth with her hand. He had caught movement from his hallway. Someone was here. And he knew who. “I need to take you home.” “Why? What’s wrong?” “Nothing. I just should really get you home. It’s late and I have to work tomorrow.” Avoiding her scowl, he began tugging his pants up his thighs. I’m dead. She is so angry at me. Can I blame her? Carrie stood straight and began walking through the apartment. He panicked. “Where are you going?” “To the bathroom. Is that okay?” She gestured her frustration by throwing up her hands. “Oh. Yes, of course.” He waited until she closed the door, then, holding his pants together, he ran to his bedroom. “What the hell are you doing here?” He tried his best to shout quietly. “I had no idea you were bringing that woman home. I was waiting for you. Are you screwing her too?” “Shut the door and be quiet.” Pushing Heath inside his bedroom so he could close the door, Ronnie nearly screamed in fright when she exited the bathroom. He was a nervous wreck, yanking his clothing on carelessly, wearing pants and his suit jacket, and no shirt, as he escorted her back to the car. On the drive her home he could tell she was steaming mad, completely silent. He knew she felt betrayed and he felt like 66

A Man’s Best Friend total shit. This isn’t good. I feel like a rotten heel. She paid for that dinner. What did I do? And Heath? Did I cheat on Heath? Are Heath and I a couple? After walking her to her door, he kissed her goodnight and apologized. “Carrie, the meal was great. Thank you so much.” “Yeah, whatever.” She searched her purse for her key and pushed the doorbell as she dug for it. “I know it seems strange, but—” The door opened and a woman stared at Ronnie in surprise. He looked down at his chest and closed the jacket over his nakedness. “See ya.” Carrie gave him a dismissive wave. “Carrie…” The door closed and he seriously felt like the worst asshole on the planet. He thought of yelling, “I’m sorry,” through the door but reconsidered. Ronnie headed back home feeling sick and worried. I finally find a woman I like and Heath starts a physical relationship with me. I can’t win. Is it possible to have both? Cake, eat it? He came through the door to see Heath waiting for him. “Oh, Jesus, you’re a fucking Chippendale.” Heath went for him. Holding Heath back as he attacked, Ronnie said, “Heath, don’t surprise me like that. Can you call first? You knew I was busy tonight, didn’t you? I thought I mentioned it.” “You said dinner.” Heath stared at his exposed pectorals hungrily, licking his lips. “I have to wash.” She sucked me off! Ronnie whined pathetically, “Oh God, I’m losing my mind.” Pinning him against the wall, Heath spread Ronnie’s suit jacket wider on his chest, running his hands over his nipples. “Let me shower.” 67

G.A. Hauser Heath grabbed his face and kissed him. Ronnie felt like he may cry. It made the pendulum sway back to being with Heath. His touch, his heat, his power. When Heath leaned back for a breath, he hissed, “Get clean. Now. I don’t want to smell her perfume or taste her fucking lipstick.” “I’m sorry.” Ronnie stiffened as Heath grabbed his ass. His jacket was torn off and tossed the couch and his trousers fell around his ankles again. Ronnie held the wall as he removed his shoes and socks, standing naked as Heath appeared to salivate. “Hang on. Please. I’ll be quick.” “Get moving.” Hurrying to the sink, waiting as the water began to heat, Ronnie mumbled under his breath, “You’ll both kill me.” He grabbed the soap and cleaned up as Heath leaned against the door frame, obviously trying to be patient. Ronnie’s heart was pounding. He rinsed his dick and his face and reached for a towel. Before he got that far he was picked up and carried to the bed. “Heath!” Heath threw him down on the mattress and trapped him underneath, sucking on his mouth and tongue eagerly. Just when Ronnie got lost on the delicious kisses, he was tossed onto his face, left gasping in amazement at the strength of his lover. Heath reached for the lube. Ronnie couldn’t catch his breath, but he was hard as a brick at the moment from the manhandling. The battle commenced in Ronnie’s head. I love this! How could I not want to commit to him? Holy shit! He knew nothing turned him on like Heath’s aggression. What did he expect Carrie to do? Wear a strap-on? She didn’t smell like this, feel like this. “Augh! Holy mother of God!” Ronnie arched his back as Heath thrust between his legs. “Good?” Heath purred, licking Ronnie’s neck. Ronnie choked on his reply. Good? No. Fabulous. 68

A Man’s Best Friend The bed banged into the wall and Ronnie wondered if his neighbors thought it was him giving the fucking. Nope. Not me. I’m gettin’ it. Janie knows. She knows it’s me and Heath. Should I be embarrassed? Or proud? He braced himself, closed his eyes, clenched his ass cheeks and howled in pleasure. Heath grabbed his cock. “Ah! Here we go!” Ronnie prepared for take-off. Heath bit and licked the back of Ronnie’s neck passionately. “Oh-my-God!” Ronnie felt it coming on like an atom bomb. “That’s it, baby.” Heath’s moans matched his. “Oh, yeah, oh yeah!” Heath thrust in hard and Ronnie felt his body ignite from his toes up. He nearly convulsed from the intensity of the climax. Simultaneously, Heath came, grunting in a deep masculine growl. Ronnie’s cock throbbed as it spurted and Heath used the cum to coat his length as he milked it. Drops of sweat fell from Heath’s face and hit Ronnie’s shoulders and neck. “Fuck.” Ronnie collapsed to the mattress, Heath’s weight on top of him, his breath heavy in his ear. Ronnie couldn’t move afterwards. “You’re gonna kill me, Sherwood.” Heath rolled off, disposing of the rubber over the side of the bed. He rested on the pillow beside Ronnie, rubbing Ronnie’s back. “What a way to go,” he said as he closed his eyes.

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Chapter Nine Even after a second dating fiasco, Ronnie was invited to spend an evening with Carrie and her parents. It was the first week of November and the Archers had obviously been informed that he and their daughter were dating. Though he was nervous this meeting was a signal that he and Carrie were involved, Ronnie tried not to think too deeply about it and looked at it as a pleasant diversion. Hey, he and Carrie are friends. No harm done. Carrie’s mother, Marie, warmed up to him quickly, doting on him at dinner and making sure he had enough to eat. After a filling meal, they regrouped in the den. Ronnie was offered a glass of brandy and with their German Shepherd, Trooper, at his feet, he reclined in front of a glowing fire. He listened with half an ear to the murmur of their conversation, wondering what Heath was doing at this moment. Ronnie missed him whenever they weren’t together. Ronnie had assumed after the terrible night of his birthday celebration Carrie would never speak to him again. They hadn’t seen each other for the last week, but she had called him to chat, sounding as if she wanted to put the awkward episode behind them. As far as Ronnie was concerned, the last blowjob attempt was their final foray into sex, with the exception of a peck goodbye in the front seat of his car. With Heath providing him with great bouts, Ronnie was sated physically, not to mention it felt as if he was cheating on Heath. So he didn’t go any farther than a few kisses with Carrie. He enjoyed her friendship, and had no idea if she wondered why he wasn’t a ‘typical guy’ and

A Man’s Best Friend pawing at her for a screw. She’s happy, I’m happy, why question it? Maybe she’s realizing this is only a platonic friendship as well. I wonder if she’d have my child. How do you ask a woman that? Christ, it’d have to be artificial insemination. Would she do that? He leaned over to scratch Trooper’s head and was given a wet lick in return. Just as Ronnie was about to say something about the dog, he noticed an oil painting behind Marie’s chair. It was done in the old Chiaroscuro style of burnt umber and raw sienna. It was the face of a young boy, mocha skinned, with large dark eyes. He couldn’t stop staring at it after he’d found it. “That’s my step-brother, Ahsan.” Carrie obviously noticed he was distracted by the portrait. “What? He’s real?” Ronnie imagined the family purchased the item while on a vacation. “Yes, he’s real.” She laughed. “He’s away at school in Rome.” She smiled. “He was ten when that was painted.” “Ten?” At his tone, Trooper twitched his large ears at him. “He looks older, doesn’t he?” Carrie said. “Ronnie, tell me more about your family?” Ernie changed the topic of conversation. “There’s really nothing to tell. My parents are teachers. Nothing glamorous.” Ronnie addressed Marie, “I really like the interior design of this place. You’ve done a great job.” She lit up at the compliment. “We’ve been remiss. You haven’t seen the whole house. I’ll give you the tour.” Once she was on her feet, she held out her hand to him. Placing his glass on a side table, Ronnie took it and glanced over at Carrie. “You mind?” “Nope. Have fun.” Carrie waved. “You lovebirds can be separated for two minutes,” Marie teased and led Ronnie out of the room. Trooper was happy to join them. They headed to the second floor. “Right this way.” 71

G.A. Hauser She didn’t release his hand until they stopped at the master bedroom. “Very nice. I like the clean design and muted colors. The French louvered closet doors are a perfect touch.” He felt her lean on him and peeked down at her timidly. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” she said. Uh oh. “You may ask the question, it’s the answer I can’t guarantee.” She brightened up and stood back to stare at him, as if she were judging his appeal. Ronnie was waiting for something weird, he just didn’t know what. “My daughter’s taste in men has improved.” She gave him a cougar-like smirk. “You’re extremely handsome and intelligent.” “Thank you.” Don’t flirt with me. You’re as old as my mother. She touched her lip as if she were trying to remember the question. “What I want to know is; are you and Carrie becoming serious?” Shit. He paused to think about the response. “Well, that’s a difficult question, Mrs. Archer.” “Marie,” she corrected. “Marie,” he echoed. “I seriously like her, but we’ve only known one another a short while.” When Marie stepped closer and he felt a pass was imminent, bitterness invaded his good mood. “She needs to have a life other than work. She’s twentyfour. I was already married and pregnant with Carrie by twentyone.” What the hell did she want him to do? Marry her today? “I think the world is a little different now. Most women enjoy careers and don’t want to be married too young.” “Do you want children?” She reached up and brushed his hair back from his face. 72

A Man’s Best Friend “Yes. I do. Very much.” Her smile grew. “You’re a good man. I hope one day you can be a part of the family.” Oh, no. And I thought my own parents were bad! Augh! “Thank you. It’s very nice of you to say that.” Ronnie didn’t think he could take much more. He spotted the dog lingering and said, “Hey, Troop.” He knelt down and roughed the dog up a little, its pink tongue lapping at his face made him laugh. Marie asked, “What do you think of the house?” He looked up at her while petting the dog. “It’s well planned and you’ve done a nice job with the interior.” “Spoken like a true professional.” She let out a short laugh. “Sorry. It’s one of the dangers of the job.” He clapped his hands to get Trooper’s attention. “Come on, boy!” He raced the dog back to the den. When he glanced over his shoulder, he found Marie with a pleasant smile on her lips.

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Chapter Ten Heath loved weekends. He propped his legs on the coffee table, leaned back with his arms behind his head and smiled. He’d gotten what he wanted for the holidays. The more he knew Ronnie, the more he loved him. But being best friends was one thing, lovers? Wow. More than I could have hoped for. He knew Ronnie dated Carrie. But he was also aware he and Ronnie were together nearly every night, while Carrie was afforded one night a week, and sometimes not even that. Yum. Look at you. I can smell your cologne from here. Time for sex! Ronnie slouched over to read a magazine on the sofa next to him. His jeans were skin tight and faded to flannel fuzz, his Washington Huskies sweatshirt was taut on his broad shoulders. Jesus, Ron! Look at the size of the bulge between your legs. Growl! Even his hands were beautiful, long fingers with manicured nails. Mr. Metro-sexual. It seemed most of the young businessmen in downtown Seattle pampered themselves. Ronnie gasped as Heath batted the magazine out of his hand, took a flying leap over him, and pinned him down on the couch. “Ow?” “Oh, where did I hurt you?” Heath pouted out his lower lip. “Are you kidding? My whole body is bruised from you, you jerk.” He laughed at him, unable to move now that his arms were trapped beneath two hundred and ten pounds. “I want to have a holiday party.” Heath pushed Ronnie’s sweatshirt up and licked his chest.

A Man’s Best Friend “Not another party,” Ronnie groaned. Heath gazed into his eyes after he made Ronnie’s nipple hard with his sucking. “Will you invite Carrie?” He felt Ronnie shrug. Heath reached his tongue to his other nipple. “I won’t mind.” “Why won’t you mind?” Heath felt Ronnie’s cock grow hard as well as his nipple. This time Heath shrugged. “You’re lying to me, Sherwood.” Heath leaned up and exhaled in a blast. “I’m not lying. I know you guys see each other. What am I supposed to do? Ask you to go steady with me?” Ronnie laughed and then when he realized Heath wasn’t joking, his smile fell. Heath knew he was getting all there was out of this relationship with Ronnie. If he thought about it, he had no complaints. It was exactly what he wanted. He wanted Ronnie’s body and he was given plenty of that. He had a bad feeling if he pushed him for the dreaded ‘C’ word, Ronnie would run. He knew this man. Commitment made him bolt. No way. That was a woman’s mistake, not his. Heath could manage on what he was allocated as long as it was a permanent, consistent allocation. Ha, yeah, right. “Heath,” Ronnie sighed uncomfortably. “Don’t worry. I just want sex. Really.” He licked his way down Ronnie’s stomach. “You could have fooled me.” Heath heard the sarcasm in Ronnie’s voice. “I thought you wanted to go back to the platonic relationship we had two months ago,” Ronnie said. With both hands Heath massaged between Ronnie’s legs, groping the faded denim bulge he had admired. “Thirty days.” “What?” 75

G.A. Hauser “That’s how long we’ve been screwing.” Heath kissed Ronnie’s cock where it had hardened down his pant leg. “You’re counting? Are you insane?” “No, I just have a good memory.” He ran his teeth over the length. “You have the best dick.” “That’s why you like me,” Ronnie teased him. “Yes, it’s high up there on the list.” Ronnie laughed and then jumped when Heath’s teeth got rough. “Ow!” “Sorry, I can’t help myself.” “Lips and tongue, no teeth.” “Yes, sir.” Heath saluted, then yanked open Ronnie’s pants. “I have never had this much sex in my life.” “I agree. I’m in heaven. Mmm.” Heath sucked Ronnie’s cock strongly, running his lips-covered teeth over it. “It tickles when you hum.” He laughed. Heath gave him a wicked glance. “Stop! Ah!” Ronnie squirmed around in delight from Heath’s fingers and his mouth. “I can’t get enough of your body.” Heath lapped at the head of Ronnie’s cock, trying to get his jeans lower. Ronnie raised his hips, accommodating, and his jeans were tugged to his ankles. “And I can’t get enough of you making me come.” Meeting Ronnie’s bright blue eyes once, Heath then closed his and chewed his way down Ronnie’s cock to his balls, snuffling and nuzzling them as he worked him with his hands. “Baby…so good.” Heath groaned and felt his own cock throbbing. He sat upright and announced, “I have to fuck you.” “Okay.” Heath leapt off the sofa and jogged to his bedroom, getting 76

A Man’s Best Friend what he needed. When he returned, Ronnie was naked from the waist down, his sweatshirt hiked up his chest. Heath nearly creamed at the sight. “You are unbelievable.” “Ditto.” Ronnie jerked his own cock as he waited. Heath stripped off his jeans and briefs. Before he fucked him, he spread Ronnie’s legs and gave him a tongue bath, tasting him everywhere, making Ronnie squirm and groan. The words ‘I love you’ were so close to being said, Heath had to bite it back and kept repeating it in his head. Yeah, he knew about Carrie, but there was no way that woman could make love to Ronnie like this. No way. “You’re going to make me come.” Assuming it was said in warning, Heath imagined tasting Ronnie’s cum and then fucking him. He squeezed lube onto his hand, eager to climax as well. Once he was inside Ronnie with his fingers, Heath resumed sucking his cock. “That’s it.” Ronnie’s body jerked and shivered. “Like that. Yes.” Heath felt Ronnie’s length pulsate and almost came at Ronnie’s actions. The minute he tasted pre-cum, Heath increased the speed of his hand and mouth. Grunting filled the living room of his house and cum filled his mouth. Heath whimpered in pleasure as he swallowed and massaged Ronnie inside and out. “Motherfucker.” Ronnie rode Heath’s mouth until he had stopped climaxing, lying panting and glistening with sweat. Heath sat back, staring at him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He reached for a condom and rolled it on, not waiting for Ronnie to fully come down from the high. He pushed Ronnie’s legs backwards to get entry and slipped inside his well-worked hole. “Oh, babe…you feel so fricken good.” “Go for it, lover.” That was all Heath needed to hear. He gripped Ronnie’s legs and went into overdrive. Staring at Ronnie’s softening dick, 77

G.A. Hauser his tight abs, his fabulous face, Heath rose to an orgasm quickly. As perspiration dripped down his neck and pits, he jammed his dick into Ronnie and came. “I’m there!” Heath thrust in as deeply as he could as his body rocked with the thrill. Feeling the contents empty from his balls, Heath couldn’t remember being this sexually satisfied. He forced his eyes open to see Ronnie staring down at their connection. Holding the base of the rubber, Heath pulled out and caught his breath. “You’re unreal, babe.” Ronnie winked, giving him a sensuous smile. After a shared shower, Ronnie accompanied Heath to the grocery store. He pushed a shopping cart down the aisle loading it with chips, dip, beer, and anything else two bachelors thought would be needed to snack on. After they checked out and filled the back of the pickup truck in the parking lot, Ronnie heard someone shouting out his name. He couldn’t believe Carrie was waving, running across the asphalt to them. He peeked back at Heath in paranoia and then realized that shopping with a man didn’t immediately qualify you as having a gay fling. Ronnie greeted her warmly and she kissed him as Heath watched. She appeared radiant, her cheeks glowing blushing rose, and her hair was gloriously golden, spilling from under her blue felt hat. Ronnie’s breath caught in his throat. Carrie was very pretty. He couldn’t deny that. “I can’t believe I spotted you. I was just stopping in for a few things after shopping at the Alderwood Mall.” She pointed to the potato chip selections sticking out of the bags. “You guys planning a party?” Heath finished loading the truck, shut the tailgate and stood tall. “Yes. It’s at my place. I’d love it if you came.” 78

A Man’s Best Friend Ronnie eyed him suspiciously. No one was that understanding. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer? “I’d love to. I’m Carrie and you must be Heath.” “I know who you are, sweetie.” He smiled kindly. “I’m amazed it took us this long to meet formally. Ronnie’s been very selfish about letting us get together. I think he thinks you’ll steal me away.” She winked impishly at Heath. The reality of the comment wasn’t lost on Ronnie. Though he was petrified of Carrie finding out he was ‘bi’ sort of, he thought the line was incredibly ironic and laughed in a loud ‘Ha!’ Heath and Carrie paused to stare at his reaction. Ronnie was sorry it slipped out and wished he could crawl under the truck. “Yes, that must be it. I’m irresistible.” Heath stuck his tongue in his cheek and stared at Ronnie. “Oh, boy.” Ronnie turned away from Heath’s flirtatious gesture. “So, what are you up to?” he asked Carrie, changing the topic. Before she answered, Heath said, “We bought some fresh clams and micros, join us?” “Sure!” She seemed to like the idea. “Uh.” Ronnie wasn’t as enthusiastic. “Where’re you parked?” Heath dangled his ignition key. “Right there, blue Honda.” Heath nodded and she ran to it. Ronnie was about to say something when he noticed Heath had already climbed into the driver’s seat. Once he sat in the passenger’s side, staring at Heath, Ronnie asked, “You think this is a good idea?” “Yes. Why not? There’s no reason we can’t all be friends.” He checked his driver’s side mirror and backed out. 79

G.A. Hauser “No reason?” he said sarcastically. “Okay, listen to me, if you think you want to be a little trio, do me one favor.” “Yes?” “Don’t molest me in front of her. Please.” “Yes, dear.” Heath sighed loudly and kept checking the side mirrors. Ronnie’s nerves were shot. He didn’t need this. It was like two worlds colliding. He didn’t know why, but the thought of Carrie knowing him and Heath were lovers petrified him for two reasons; the fact that he was a closet homosexual, and the thought of hurting her. Both upset him. With Carrie hugging his bumper, Heath parked in his driveway. All of them hauling the groceries, they made one trip into the house. As Heath began to put away the food, Ronnie watched Carrie admire Heath’s home. She wandered around touching things and asking questions about his knickknacks. While Heath prepared the clams he shouted back his replies. “Let me do something to help, Heath,” Carrie said, joining him in the kitchen. Standing back, Ronnie allowed them to take over, knowing he was helpless when it came to cooking. He leaned against the counter with a local microbrew beer in his hand and listened to them getting to know one another. “Thanks.” Heath stood over the sink washing the clams. “Get a big pot of water boiling and then grab a beer for yourself.” When Heath met Ronnie’s eye, Ronnie realized he hadn’t even offered them one. “Sorry. Preoccupied.” “With what?” Carrie asked as she opened two bottles, one for Heath. “Yeah, Ron, with what?” Heath mimicked sarcastically. Knew you were jealous! Knew it! Ronnie pointed his finger 80

A Man’s Best Friend in warning at Heath but didn’t reply. They slurped the baby clams and garlic bread, and drank beer while they debated on everything from world politics to the latest cinema creations. Ronnie sat back at one point and observed them heating up over their opposing positions. He was surprised to see Carrie holding her own in a debate against Heath. Ronnie never won an argument with him. With Heath Sherwood, you had to know your facts and where you quoted them from, every page, paragraph, and line. Ronnie kept getting lost on them, tuning out the conversation. It was strange seeing them in the room together knowing he had a relationship with them both. They had forgotten he existed for the moment as he found himself lost on Carrie’s beautiful face or Heath’s tight, bulging crotch. He kept shaking himself out of his daydream to keep alert. Too many beers weren’t helping him stay focused. The clams were nothing but shells; the beer, empty bottles; and the three of them carcasses sprawled before the soft embers’ glow of the fireplace. Ronnie stretched out on the soft pile rug, propping his head in his palm. The conversation ended and they were silent, yawning and content. Heath rose to his feet and started clearing up. A moment later, Ronnie smelled fresh brewed coffee. Ronnie said to Carrie, “I’ll be right back.” He felt her eyes on his back as he left the room, heard her deep sigh, and gazed back to see her staring at the fire. Ronnie stopped at the kitchen doorway as Heath prepared a tray with cream, sugar, and Pepperidge Farm Mint Milano cookies. He felt Ronnie’s presence and turned around. 81

G.A. Hauser “You’ll make someone a lovely wife,” Ronnie said. Judging by his frown, Heath didn’t find it amusing. Ronnie said, “You’re the one who invited her here and to the party.” “Did I say anything?” Heath placed three mugs and spoons on the tray. “Christ, you don’t have to.” “I’m fine. Really.” He filled the cups and balanced the tray. Ronnie lowered his eyes, feeling guilty. Heath passed him and kissed his cheek. “Come on, we need to wake up.” When they entered the room, Carrie yawned and smiled at Heath. “I don’t know why I’m so tired.” She took a cup from the tray as he offered it, and inhaled the aroma. “Thank you. What kind of coffee is this? It reminds me of something I had in Italy.” “You went to Italy?” Sitting on the sofa, Ronnie poured cream in his cup and dipped a Milano cookie into it. “Yes, more than once. My family does quite a lot of traveling. We’ve stayed at a wonderful hotel there and I’ve explored all the major cities in Europe.” Ronnie had always wanted to travel, but never seemed to find the time. His parents took him to Canada and Eastern Washington. That was the extent of his travels. Heath blew on his cup. “I’ve been to England. Oh, it’s Sumatra blend,” he answered her previous question. She nodded. “Did you travel anywhere, Ronnie?” He was embarrassed by it. “No, nowhere.” “I have a great idea.” She knelt upright and met Ronnie’s eyes. Heath started laughing, as if he already knew what she would say. “Let’s plan a trip,” she said. 82

A Man’s Best Friend “Who?” Ronnie glanced from one set of eyes to the other. “Us!” “‘Us’ who?” Ronnie felt pale. “Us three, silly.” Carrie laughed. Ronnie coughed uncomfortably and peeked at Heath’s smirking grin. “What are you smiling at?” he asked him. Carrie continued, “What a kick. We could trek through Europe. I know all the great places to go.” Ronnie shoved Heath who had sat next to him. “Stop laughing.” “I’m not.” He didn’t stop. Carrie set her cup down and walked behind the men. She put her arms around them both and whispered, “Think about it. What a blast.” Ronnie was thinking about it, shaking his head at the image. Carrie kissed Ronnie’s cheek and when she kissed Heath’s, Heath choked and blew his coffee out in a spray, then started rolling on the floor. “Stop laughing.” Ronnie couldn’t see the humor. The very notion of becoming a friendly trio scared him to death.

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Chapter Eleven Ronnie cringed every time Carrie mentioned Europe. It wouldn’t, couldn’t happen. And if it did happen, what was he supposed to do? Rotate beds? Never mind. Forget it. It’s never gonna happen. Ronnie continued getting dressed for another one of Heath’s blowouts. Grr, I hate parties. Carrie brought an overnight bag to his apartment. Ronnie didn’t comment on it. What was he supposed to say? Sorry, Carrie, you have to go home tonight, I’m sleeping with my gay boyfriend? God, help me. While Ronnie stood in the bedroom tucking his shirt into his pants, Carrie touched up her make-up in the bathroom. When she emerged he was still struggling with his clothing selection. “Wear them,” she said. “I’d feel like a jerk if I did,” he replied. “Straight-ass-Ronnie, never does anything risqué. Always the good boy.” Stifling a choke, he tried his best not to dispel that unbelievable myth. “You think wearing leather pants will make me the bad boy?” “I guarantee it.” She laughed seductively. “They’re Heath’s, you know. He’s the one who insisted I wear them.” Ronnie waited to see if it sounded gay. Straightass-Ronnie was borrowing leather jeans from his best male friend. Anyone think that’s odd? Hello? After putting on his shoes, he crossed his arms. “Now

A Man’s Best Friend what?” “You are wearing them. And if we don’t get going you’ll be naked in bed, under me.” She reached for him. “Stop.” He swatted her hands away playfully as she grabbed at his crotch, chasing him around the apartment. She cornered him easily in the limited space, and ran her hands down his thighs. “Why don’t we ever make love anymore? We’ve been going out for three weeks and you’ve been in me once.” “I…uh…” Ronnie panicked. It did seem weird. “You’re not one of those guys who want to wait ‘til they’re married, do you?” “Yes.” He swallowed in a gulp hoping she wouldn’t see right through his lie. “Were you a virgin before I did it?” “Uh…Is that a trick question?” Please don’t bring up that horrible incident. “No. It’s not supposed to be one. I can’t imagine a man like you not making love to tons of women.” “Tons?” He tugged at his shirt collar and made space between them. “Change the subject, please.” “We didn’t even get to climax together. So can you count that as making love? I don’t. Not really. It was all of two seconds. And it was interrupted. Remember? Coitus interruptus? Heath came here. Don’t you remember that night?” Uh oh. “Uh…can we not talk about this? I’m dyin’ of embarrassment here.” He rolled up his sleeves as he began to cook from nerves. The leather pants felt boiling hot. “You know I don’t believe you’ve become celibate for a minute.” She crossed her arms. “Do you need blue pills?” “Augh! No!” I figured that comment was coming. He returned to his bedroom to pocket his keys and wallet. “No blue pills. Hmm. What’s the real reason we never 85

G.A. Hauser make love, Ronnie? Do I not turn you on?” In agony, he rushed towards her and hugged her. “That’s not it. Please don’t say that. You’re so pretty. You’re a knockout. I just need time.” “Time for what?” His heart broke at the forlorn look in her eyes. He wanted her. He wanted her to be the mother of his children, and Heath to be his husband. “I’m insane.” “I’m beginning to think that. Am I waiting in vain?” “I hope not. I really am crazy about you.” “Are you? Really?” He nodded. “Prove it.” Ronnie inhaled, tried not to think about Heath, and kissed her. When she began opening his pants, he backed up. “We have a party to go to, remember?” He smiled to soften the rejection. “I am sleeping here tonight, right? I’ll be too tired and drunk to drive home.” Though it was said as a warning, he tried to take it lightly. “Sure. Anything you want.” He figured she’d most likely go right to sleep when they got in. It was the morning he had to worry about. Not meeting her eye, he handed Carrie her coat and put on his jacket. As she walked down the hall and he locked his unit door, he heard her mutter, “Christ, I never had to beg for it before.” He cringed and didn’t reply. They stood on Heath’s porch, rapped on the lion’s head knocker and pushed open the door to peer in. “Hello?” Ronnie called. Heath was making his way down the stairs, tucking his 86

A Man’s Best Friend shirt into his trousers. The minute Heath stood in front of Ronnie, he took a long hard look at the leather jeans and covered his mouth with his hand. “Holy crap.” Ronnie started to sweat with Carrie standing right there. He shifted his weight, leg to leg, and cleared his throat uncomfortably. It didn’t break Heath’s concentration. “Heath, Christ, do they look that bad? I feel like an idiot.” Appearing pained and obviously keeping his hands in check by tucking them under his armpits, Heath said, “Keep them. They were made for you.” “No way, I feel more like you in them,” Ronnie replied. He heard Carrie’s restrained cough and became totally flustered. “Heath, you look fantastic.” Carrie admired his shimmering black slacks and black shirt. Heath didn’t answer her right away, gazing at Ronnie’s crotch. Ronnie knew the time waiting for his response grew unreasonable. “Thanks.” He finally said and Ronnie caught him taking a look at the low cut neckline of Carrie’s sweater. “What do you want us to do?” Ronnie asked in the awkwardness. “Here. Blow up balloons.” Heath handed them each a plastic bag. In a few minutes they were swimming in a tide of color, laughing and kicking them into the air. By ten o’clock, the house was packed. Again, Ronnie couldn’t believe all the new faces. He recognized Connie and then he spotted Kim McNeal. She smiled excitedly at him and crossed the balloon covered floor. “I love your pants.” Kim grinned wickedly. Ronnie spied over her head for Carrie, who was getting them both a fresh drink. He thanked Kim and shifted in his shoes as she stared at them. 87

G.A. Hauser “Are you here with that blonde?” She curled her lip. “Uh, yes, sorry. No hard feelings?” “Oh, no, of course not.” He was slammed with spite and flinched. “What do they feel like?” Her eyes wandered back to his black leather jeans. “Like regular pants only warmer.” He was starting to sweat again. Uh, a little eye contact please? “May I?” “May you, what?” Kim smoothed her hand down his thigh. Ronnie scanned the room quickly. Carrie and Heath were standing together, chatting. “Mm, nice,” Kim purred. “I guess most people have a thing for leather.” “Um, right. Will you excuse me?” Ronnie made a hasty retreat. He noticed Carrie now in a conversation with Connie while Heath disappeared into the kitchen. Ronnie followed Heath in as Heath took a bottle of soda out of the refrigerator. When Heath turned around he said, “Hello, gorgeous.” “Hi.” Ronnie was a nervous wreck. Ronnie noticed Heath glance around the kitchen which was empty for the moment. “Can you do me a favor and grab another bottle of soda from the fridge?” Ronnie nodded, reaching for the handle. Heath grabbed Ronnie by the collar, shoving him against the enamel refrigerator door. “Heath!” Ronnie panicked. Heath trapped Ronnie by placing a large muscular arm on either side of him. “Watching you in those pants is driving me crazy. I am going to drag you upstairs before this night is over.” He rubbed his crotch into Ronnie’s leather one. 88

A Man’s Best Friend Ronnie felt acute paranoia that someone was about to walk in. “Please, Heath, cool it. Okay? For me?” Heath looked at the doorway first, then planted his mouth on Ronnie’s, pressing him hard against the refrigerator. Ronnie gasped and twisted his head away in mortal fear. “Heath!” His heart was in his throat. Heath wouldn’t release him. “Maybe we could find a minute, alone.” Ronnie forced himself out of the human cage and tried to catch his breath. “Later or tomorrow.” Ronnie read his anger. “Okay? Heath?” Heath grabbed the bottle off the counter and headed for the living room. As he did Carrie came in, watching him leave. Ronnie wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his thoughts miles away. “You guys fight?” He snapped into focus. “Huh? No.” A few more people came into the kitchen to refill on food and alcohol. He touched Carrie’s arm as he walked by, leading her out. Midnight came and went. Ronnie scanned the room for Heath and didn’t see him. He waited for Carrie to take a bathroom break and hunted for him, jogging up the stairs. He stopped short at Heath’s bedroom and looked in. A drink was in Heath’s hand and he was talking to a man. The jealousy hit Ronnie like a smack in the face. When he noticed Ronnie, Heath connected with his infuriated glare. The other man spotted it as well and excused himself, leaving the room, brushing past Ronnie. “What the hell are you doing?” Ronnie growled. Heath set his drink down and crossed his arms. “Excuse me?” “You heard me.” 89

G.A. Hauser He moved to within an inch of Ronnie’s face. “I was talking to a friend. You got a problem with that?” Ronnie’s lip curled over his teeth. Heath grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “What am I supposed to do? You’re not willing to commit to me. How do you expect me to cope when you’re with her?” “Don’t you fuck another man, Sherwood,” Ronnie warned, his body tensed. “I won’t. My God. We were talking. I don’t even think the guy is gay.” Ronnie felt his own expression hardened while Heath’s softened. Heath curled around him rocked him in his arms. “Don’t worry, lover. You own me, body and soul.” Ronnie relaxed against Heath’s body. “Come here.” Heath used his fingers to raise Ronnie’s jaw and kissed him. Deep in a swoon, Ronnie took a break from their kissing. “I’ve been gone too long.” “She’ll be all right. Connie’s down there.” Heath ran his hands through Ronnie’s hair, pushing it back from his face. “Yeah, so is Kim.” Ronnie frowned. “You’ve got a house full of lovers, don’t you?” “One lover. Two friends. Sort of.” Ronnie grimaced at the thought. He tucked in his shirt, taming his hair. Heath reacted to something behind Ronnie and made more room between them. Ronnie spun around. He wondered how the scene appeared to Carrie. Ronnie knew exactly what he would have thought if he’d turned the corner as someone was straightening themselves up. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “Am I interrupting you?” Ronnie expected Heath to say ‘yes’. Ronnie told her, “No.” As Ronnie looked back at his male lover he received a sly smirk. The warmth of that knowing expression spread across Ronnie’s chest and he returned it in kind. 90

A Man’s Best Friend Once he met Carrie’s eyes, he realized she was studying them closely. Ronnie kept his smile and gestured for her to return to the party. Three o’clock came and the mob vanished as the woe of aftermath became abundant. Carrie splayed out on the couch, her stocking feet on the coffee table. Ronnie stood in the center of the room, surveying the damage while Heath drank a glass of anti-acid medication. After Heath had finished, he sighed and disappeared into the kitchen. Ronnie followed him, grabbing a trash bag. Carrie called from the living room, “Ronnie?” After exchanging glances with Heath, Ronnie poked his head out of the kitchen. “Can we stay here and help Heath clean up in the morning. I want to help, but I can’t move. Heath?” she yelled. He leaned on Ronnie and peered out at her. “Can we sleep here and help you in the morning?” She laughed wearily. “I mean later morning?” “Sure.” He shrugged. “Good.” She got to her feet and held out her hand for Ronnie. He walked over to her and kissed her forehead. “Go, get washed and in bed. I’ll be right there.” She nodded and scuffed away, closing the door to the guest bedroom behind her. I can’t do this to Heath. No way. Heath crouched in front of the fireplace to poke at the dying embers. Ronnie walked up behind him and leaned his legs on Heath’s back. “You knew this might happen. Am I right?” Heath set the fire iron back in its stand. “I don’t know what I knew.” 91

G.A. Hauser Ronnie ran his fingers through Heath’s hair absently, loving its thickness and dark color. Heath turned around and stared up at him, his eyes reflecting the fireplace’s glow. The room was dim behind them. They gazed at one another silently, Ronnie’s hand still caressing Heath’s mane. Heath lowered his eyes to the slick black surface of Ronnie’s leather pants. He flipped open the snap. Ronnie tried to step back and whispered softly, “No.” Heath paused, then disregarded the warning in favor of tugging the zipper down. He reached inside to Ronnie’s abdomen and soft, dark treasure trail of hair. Ronnie leaned back to check on the door Carrie was behind. He felt cool panic as Heath rose up higher on his knees and tugged his pants open wider. A strong arm around his waist prevented Ronnie from falling back as wet heat surrounded his dick. Ronnie held onto Heath’s head and clenched his teeth, the daring deed somehow mixing with the ecstasy. In the fading firelight, Ronnie watched in awe as Heath had oral sex with him. Heath held Ronnie’s ass, drawing him deeper into his mouth. Between the terror of Carrie opening the door and seeing them and the urge to come in Heath’s mouth, the urge to come won. Ronnie closed his eyes and spread his legs for balance, shutting out the running list of absurd excuses if Carrie discovered them. Hearing Heath moan in pleasure, seeing his brow furrowed as if he loved what he was doing, Ronnie was pushed over the edge. He hissed a breath of air between his teeth and came, feeling his knees buckle from the power. Ronnie tensed his jaw to prevent his usual grunts from escaping his lips. It never ceased to amaze him the intensity this man could bring out in him. He’d never had his cock sucked like this before, ever. Lapping at the slit gently, Heath allowed him to recover. 92

A Man’s Best Friend When Heath could milk nothing more from Ronnie, he stood beside him. As the waves of orgasm subsided and Ronnie got the feeling back in his body, he met Heath’s gaze and his heart burned with love. He couldn’t get enough of Heath’s mouth, or of his comfort. “Oh, my gorgeous lover.” Ronnie slid both hands to cup Heath’s jaw gently. “I want to give it back to you. So badly.” “I know.” Ronnie’s throat tightened up. He was tired, satiated, and madly in love. Heath smiled adoringly at him as Ronnie’s eyes filled with liquid. He kissed Heath as affectionately as he possibly could, trying desperately to communicate the feelings he was petrified to put into words. Heath knew. No one could kiss like this without shouting out the passion it carried with it. Their eyes locked for a long moment, then Heath lowered his submissively and backed out of Ronnie’s reach. Ronnie watched Heath climb the stairs. He looked down at his spent cock and tucked it into his briefs, then lay on the sofa and curled up into a ball. With tears filling his eyes, Ronnie fell asleep. Carrie never asked about the night Ronnie slept on the couch in Heath’s home. She was the one to find him, waking him in the morning. She never asked why and he never said.

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Chapter Twelve Monday night Heath had Ronnie all to himself, which he had to admit, was becoming cherished time. Between work, Ronnie’s parents and now Carrie, he wasn’t seeing enough of Ronnie and he desperately wanted him to move in. Carrie could kiss and cuddle Ronnie while Heath was there. The opposite was most definitely not the case. The more time he spent getting to know Carrie, the more he liked her. Even though in an ideal relationship he would be able to have exclusive rights to Ronnie, Heath was growing used to Carrie being his friend. On one occasion Ronnie explained that Carrie and he were no longer having a physical relationship. Though it shocked Heath, he wanted to believe it. Pestering Ronnie to stop seeing Carrie would not work. He knew Ronnie craved fatherhood, so bad-mouthing Carrie would not help. And Heath didn’t want to insult her. He honestly thought she was great. The nights he knew Ronnie and Carrie were together, Heath lay in bed dreading them becoming involved to the point where Ronnie would no longer have sex with him. If she gets pregnant, I’m gone. Heath had faith that his version of a man on man relationship was more fulfilling than anything Carrie could give Ronnie. As far as Heath was concerned Ronnie was gay, not bi. That evening Ronnie treated Heath to a delivered pizza, the closest thing to a home cooked meal he could manage. They shared a six pack of amber ale and relaxed in the living room. It was dim on the interior, but for one lamp lit on the end table where Ronnie was seated next to him on the sofa with a

A Man’s Best Friend book on his lap while Heath read the Seattle Times newspaper. Heath wondered about the trip to Italy that Carrie mentioned. He drifted off at the image of him and Ronnie in Rome, seeing those ancient ruins together. He loved the idea and wondered why they hadn’t planned a trip pre-Carrie. She added a complication that Heath knew he’d suffer for, not her. If they did plan that trip, he’d have to manage somehow. He’d have time alone with Ronnie, and if not completely alone, he knew it would be an okay trip going with them both. It beat the alternative; the two of them going without him. He shivered at that nasty thought. Ronnie raised his head from his reading. “Hi.” Heath lay the paper on the coffee table and prepared to pounce. As if Ronnie noticed a familiar gleam come to his eyes, he said, “Uh oh.” “Heh. Heh.” Heath crouched, ready. Before Ronnie could react, Heath swatted the book out of his hand and crushed him underneath him. “Hi, cutie.” Heath grinned. “Am I in trouble?” Ronnie wiggled his arm free and touched Heath’s rough cheek. “That depends if you fight or submit willingly.” Heath sucked on his throat, licking his way up to his ear lobe. “Damn, you smell good.” Heath inhaled his scent deeply. “I don’t remember putting on cologne. I do?” “Oh, yes.” Heath smothered himself with him. “Huh.” Ronnie chuckled. Heath allowed Ronnie to stretch out under him and then leaned against the back of the couch so he could caress between Ronnie’s legs. Ronnie closed his eyes. “Oh, you do that so well.” Ronnie’s brow knotted and his eyes closed tighter. 95

G.A. Hauser Massaging Ronnie’s cock, Heath felt him harden up. “Do I eat you on this pathetically small couch or wait until we go to the bedroom?” “Hey. It’s an apartment. It’s the best I can do.” “You didn’t answer my question.” Heath slid his hand into Ronnie’s pants, finding him and gripping him firmly. “Ah.” “Never mind.” Heath kissed him and decided to devour him right on the sofa. Ronnie made little lovesick noises as Heath stroked him, opening his trousers and exposing his cock, while keeping his tongue busy in his mouth. The passion was getting intense when the phone rang. “Ignore it,” Heath said between kisses. “What time is it?” Heath knew it was late. “I don’t know. Eleven? Midnight?” “Let me get it. Hang on.” Ronnie reached for the extension on the end table. “Hello?” Heath rested his head on the back of the couch and played with Ronnie’s dick gently. At first Ronnie didn’t hear anything. “Who is this?” It got Heath’s immediate attention. He withdrew his hand from touching him. “It’s your mother, Ronnie.” “What’s wrong?” “I’m at the hospital. Your father’s been in a car accident.” Ronnie felt the blood drain from his face and sat up.“When?” “Earlier this evening. I didn’t want to alarm you if it was nothing serious, but…” “You didn’t want to alarm me?” Chills broke out on Ronnie’s skin. “How serious is it?” He looked at Heath and they 96

A Man’s Best Friend exchanged concerned glances. “Very. He’s unconscious. He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt and was ejected from the car. ” “What?” he gasped. “What hospital are you in?” “He was airlifted to Harborview. Please come, I need you.” “Yes, of course. I’m on my way.” He heard her hang up. Heath had been as patient as a saint waiting for the news. “It’s my dad. He’s been in a car accident. I have to go to Harborview.” Ronnie got to his feet and couldn’t seem to get organized. He found his shoe and stuck it on his foot, then spun around in frustration. Heath stopped him. “Slow down. I’ll get you there.” He reached to zip up Ronnie’s open pants. “Here’s your other shoe. Sit down.” Ronnie dropped to the couch. He felt as if he was hyperventilating, his heart was beating hard in his chest. Heath put his shoe on for him, stood up and retrieved Ronnie’s jacket from the closet and handed it to him. With his key in his hand, Heath asked, “Ready?” They flew southbound on I-5 at about ninety miles an hour in Heath’s Ford pickup. Ronnie was hypnotized by the passing lights, thinking about his father. His dad was too young to die. Fifty? This is a nightmare. “We’re almost there.” Heath reached out to him and held his hand. “How are you doing?” Ronnie led Heath’s hand to his lap and sandwiched it between his, squeezing it tight. “I was thinking about when I was a kid growing up in that house in Snohomish.” He brought Heath’s hand to his lips and kissed it, rubbing his cheek with the back of it. Heath turned off the interstate and headed towards downtown. 97

G.A. Hauser “You know. Thinking about when I was a kid. My dad worked like a dog. I never saw him during the week. I was in bed before he got home. He was a project manager for a construction company when I was growing up. When the economy dove in the eighties, he got into teaching, like Mom.” Heath parked next to the emergency room. “I can remember one picnic outing distinctly. We paddled a canoe on a Lake Washington. My mom waved to us from the shore.” He stared down at the large hand on his lap and ran his fingers over it. “I’m not ready to lose him.” “You won’t. Have faith.” Before they exited the car, Heath brought Ronnie’s hand to his lips and kissed it, rubbing his soft mouth against it in comfort. “Oh, my baby, it’s all right. Everything will be all right.” Heath squeezed his hand in a strangle hold. “I’m here. I’ll get you through this.” Ronnie felt the affection with relief. They climbed out of the car and Heath stopped him from rushing into the hospital doors. “Wait. Come here first.” He opened his arms. Ronnie reached for him in the darkened street and felt Heath’s reassuring embrace. “Thank you,” Ronnie said softly. “You’re welcome, Ronnie.” Heath met his eyes. Ronnie broke the hug and hurried to the information desk. The area was chaotic with street people seeking help, officers and fire-fighters bringing in victims or guarding them, and doctors and nurses racing around in every direction. Ronnie was escorted to the ICU. He and Heath matched strides down the hall to where a woman was slouching in a vinyl chair just outside a doorway. “Oh, God. Mom?” Beverly heard his voice and rose to her feet. Ronnie squeezed her close and rocked her in his arms. She held a tissue to her nose as she controlled her sobs. “Okay. Okay,” Ronnie cooed soothingly. He sat her back in the chair and knelt in front of her. “What’s the deal? Is he still 98

A Man’s Best Friend unconscious?” he asked. She nodded and looked over Ronnie’s shoulder to the man standing behind him. Ronnie said, “Mom, this is Heath Sherwood. He’s a close friend. I’m sure I’ve told you about him.” “No. You haven’t.” She braved a smile. “Nice to meet you.” “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Caruso. Is there anything I can do? Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?” “No, thank you, Heath, I’m fine,” she answered weakly. “Will they let me see him?” Ronnie asked. “I think so. There’s a nurse with him at the moment. She asked me to wait out here for a second. Why don’t you ask her if it would be all right if we saw your father together?” Ronnie stood straight, took a deep breath, glanced at his lover for strength, and pushed through the swinging doors. His father wasn’t alone in the room. Several patient’s beds were lined up on both sides, some open, some with curtains pulled around them. Ronnie nodded to the nurse when she reacted to him entering the room. “Hi. That’s my dad.” He pointed to the man lying in bed next to where she was standing. “Is it okay if I see him?” “Yes. You can tell your mother she can come back in too,” she replied and checked on another patient in the room. “Thanks.” He returned for his mother and reached out to her, gave Heath a quick glance, and walked with her to his father’s bedside. It was very bright and smelled strongly of medicine and disinfectant in the room. He felt light headed from it and his nerves. His father was on the bed connected to several tubes and wires. One was connected to his neck, breathing for him. He was so bruised and swollen, Ronnie hardly recognized him. He never remembered his dad being sick. He was hooked up to so 99

G.A. Hauser many things; intravenous tubes, heart monitors, Ronnie had a feeling this was life-support. There was no other explanation. As if he needed her for courage, Ronnie urged his mother in front of him. His mother sat down on an available chair and clasped his father’s hand. “Randy,” she whispered, “Ronnie is here to see you.” She gestured for Ronnie to say something. “Can he hear us?” “I hope so. The doctors don’t know how serious it is until he stabilizes.” He shifted closer. His father had a gauze bandage on his head and a sling on his arm. Heaven knew why he didn’t buckle up. Ronnie thought his father always wore a seatbelt. “Where was he going when he crashed?” “He was out with some of the men from his old construction job.” “Oh,” Ronnie answered. Booze. Shit. Now he knew why. He crouched near the bed and cleared his throat. “Hi, Dad, it’s Ronnie,” he said. He touched his hand, it was nice and warm. For some reason, Ronnie thought it would feel cold. He was relieved it didn’t. “I love you, Dad. Please get well.” He heard his mother choke with emotion. The nurse approached his bed and checked on the tubes and instruments. “Is he going to be okay?” Ronnie asked. “The first twenty-four hours is critical. We’ll know more soon.” Ronnie looked at his mother. She appeared completely exhausted. “Should we just sit here?” “I’m not leaving,” Beverly said. “Mom, you look wiped out.” Ronnie addressed the nurse, “Would it be okay if I got my mom home and we came back in a few hours?” 100

A Man’s Best Friend “Ronnie, I’m not going anywhere.” The nurse said, “I think that would be all right. He’s stable.” “Mom, you need to rest.” Ronnie peeked up at the nurse for support but she was busy tending his father. “Mom.” Ronnie touched his mother’s hand. “You’re going home to get some rest.” “I won’t sleep a wink anyway. I really want to be with your father in case he wakes up.” She said, “You can go.” “No. I’ll stay if you stay.” “You live closer than I do. You can be here sooner if there’s a change.” “Not with the morning commute I can’t.” “Whatever. I’m not going to argue with you.” Ronnie looked back at the doorway, thinking about Heath and what to do. Heath rose from the chair instantly when Ronnie came through the door. He could see his friend’s heartache. Any pain his lover felt was his own. Without a second thought Heath reached out to him and Ronnie fell against him. They swayed in a tight embrace. Heath whispered, “Are you all right?” He felt Ronnie shake his head, his hair rubbed against his cheek. “I’m not ready for any of this, Heath.” Heath squeezed him and rested his lips against Ronnie’s neck. “He’ll be okay. Hang in there.” When they parted Heath’s skin went cold. Mrs. Caruso was watching with what seemed to be sharp, quick perception that understood everything in a moment. Heath turned away from that intimidating stare and rubbed his face tiredly, letting go a deep stressful sigh. Ronnie touched Heath’s shoulder. “I’m staying with Mom. 101

G.A. Hauser You don’t have to hang out.” “I’m not going anywhere,” Heath said. “That’s the doctor.” Beverly pointed at a man in the hall. Hurrying to speak to him, Ronnie introduced himself. “I’m Randy Caruso’s son. Can you tell me how badly he was injured?” “He was ejected from the car on impact. He suffered multiple fractures and a head injury. We have to wait to see the extent of the damage.” “That’s it? Not whether he’s going to pull through or not?” Ronnie opened his hands in an obvious gesture. “I can’t predict that at the moment. We’re doing all we can.” Ronnie couldn’t think straight. “Yes. Sorry. I’m just in shock.” “I understand. It’s a normal reaction. When I know more, I’ll tell you more.” The doctor stared at Ronnie, saying quietly, “The police drew his blood for analysis. They suspect alcohol was involved.” “I’m worried about his condition, not his blood alcohol content.” Ronnie grew upset. “I assumed that. I just thought you’d like all the information I have. We’ll know more when the swelling to his brain subsides. That’s all I can say at the moment.” Ronnie watched him walk away, wondering if the fact that his father was possibly intoxicated had an influence on the doctor’s attitude. He spun around and asked his mother, “Did he hit another car?” “A telephone pole.” “So, no one else was injured?” “No. Thank God.” “Mom. Sit down.” Ronnie coaxed her to the chair outside the door. 102

A Man’s Best Friend “No. I’m going back to be with your father. I just wanted to know what you decided to do.” “I’m staying with you.” Ronnie looked at Heath. “I’m not going anywhere.” Heath met his eyes. “You don’t have to do this.” “I am doing this. Let me find something to drink for you and your mother.” “Heath,” Ronnie said as Heath walked away. Hearing the door behind him, Ronnie spotted his mother returning to the spot by his father’s bedside. He located another chair and sat next to her. “I want to know about Heath,” she said. “What?” Anxiety kicked in making him even more nervous. “What about Heath?” “How long have you been lovers?” she asked. “Wha-what?” He choked and held his heart. Oh, no, this isn’t happening. “What are you talking about? We’re friends. Just friends.” Ronnie couldn’t catch his breath, trying to figure out how she figured it out. “Please don’t tell me you’re asking me if I’m gay while my father has tubes up his nose.” “Don’t lie to me, Ron. Tell me the truth.” His limbs went cold. The truth? “Can we discuss this another time? Please?” He knew she knew. The answer was meaningless. “Is this why you’ve never brought a woman home for your father and me to meet? Lied to us about having a girlfriend?” He wanted to curl up in a ball and hide. Hell. I have surely found hell. “Please. I’m begging you. Can we talk about this when Dad’s better?” Heath entered the room with two bottles of water. He handed one to Ronnie and offered one to his mother. “No, thank you, Heath,” Beverly said. 103

G.A. Hauser “Just set it down there.” Ronnie pointed to the side table. “Are you staying?” Beverly asked Heath. “Yes.” Heath glanced at Ronnie quickly. A blast of exhaled air came out of his mother. Ronnie understood the implications, guilty as charged, but didn’t look at her. “I’ll get another chair.” Ronnie stood. “Let me.” Heath left the room. Slumping back into his seat again, Ronnie drank the water and stared at his father. “Ronald.” “Leave it for now, Mom. Please.” Ronnie rubbed his eyes. He was physically and emotionally spent. “Is it that hard for you to admit it to me?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Mom…” Ronnie stopped talking as Heath carried a small plastic chair inside the room towards them. “Tell me about yourself, Heath,” Beverly waved him closer. “What do you want to know?” Heath made himself comfortable next to her. “Anything you want to tell me. I’ve got nothing but time and I’d love a diversion.” Ronnie knew hiding from her was useless. Heath’s good looks and charm could win anyone over. He’d fallen prey. So? Sue me. While his mother and Heath got acquainted, Ronnie dozed off, his empty water bottle dangling from his fingers. Not realizing he had nodded off, Ronnie felt someone take the bottle from his fingers. Heath put it on the table for him. “Your mom’s asleep.” Ronnie looked at her to see she had dozed where she sat. 104

A Man’s Best Friend He yawned, feeling like crap. “Man, this sucks.” “I wish you could go to bed for a few hours. Both of you.” Reading his watch, Ronnie said, “I have to take tomorrow off. Remind me to call at around nine.” “I will.” “Mom and I will be okay if you need to work.” “I work for myself. I don’t need to be anywhere. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. If you want me to go, I’ll go.” Making sure his mother was out of it first, Ronnie grabbed Heath’s hand. “Stay.” “You got it.” Heath smiled.

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Chapter Thirteen Noise of voices woke Ronnie. Realizing he was still in his father’s hospital room, his neck and back ached from sleeping in a chair. Heath was missing and his mother was talking to a nurse near the foot of his father’s bed. Ronnie combed his fingers through his hair and stood, trying to move his stiff limbs. “Anything happening?” “They’re going to do more tests,” Beverly said. Before he could reply, he found Heath entering the room with three lattes on a cardboard tray. “Here.” Heath handed Ronnie one. “This one’s for your mom. Skinny mocha.” Ronnie wanted to kiss his cheek in gratitude. He removed the cup from the tray and waited for his mother’s attention. When he had it he gave her the drink. “For you.” “Thank you. Thanks, Heath.” “My pleasure. Any news?” Heath asked. “They said he’s more stable and now they want to do more tests. The swelling in his brain has lessened.” “Good.” Ronnie blew on the foam in his cup to cool it. “Do you need to call work, Ronnie?” Beverly asked. “Shit. Yes.” Heath reached to hold his coffee while Ronnie dug his cell phone out of his pocket. The minute he turned it on, it beeped. “Carrie,” he whispered, looking at Heath. “Call her.” Heath met his eye.

A Man’s Best Friend “Let me call work first.” Ronnie noticed a sign on the wall restricting mobile phones. “I have to go outside.” “We’ll be here.” Heath placed Ronnie’s coffee on the table near his father’s bed. “Thanks.” Ronnie walked by, squeezing Heath’s hand quickly as he did. He glanced back and found his mother watching the contact. Ignoring the issue of his sexuality, Ronnie left the building, emerging into the cold, gray day and called his ‘girlfriend’. “Ronnie! I was getting upset. You never turn off your phone when you’re out.” “I know. I’m sorry. My dad got into a car accident last night and my mother and I have been at the hospital the whole time. They don’t let you keep the cell phones on.” “Oh no! Is he okay?” “No. He’s in pretty bad shape. I’m not going to work today. I was just about to call them when I got your messages.” “Are you at Harborview?” “Yes.” “I’m on my way.” “No, it isn’t necessary. There’s nothing you can do.” “But, Ronnie, you shouldn’t have to deal with this by yourself.” “I’m not. I’m with my mother, and Heath is here.” “Heath? Heath is with you?” “Yes, he was with me last night when she called.” “Please let me come, Ronnie, I won’t be a bother.” He started feeling agitated. He didn’t want to be saddled with the extra burden. “Please wait. I’ll call you every day, twice a day if you want. But just wait for me to let you know.” “Call me. Every chance you get.” He wasn’t prepared for her anger. The weariness he felt was making him defensive. 107

G.A. Hauser “Is that too much to ask?” she added when he didn’t respond. “No. It isn’t. But I’m pretty out of it at the moment. I’ll try my best.” She sighed loudly in what sounded like frustration. “All right. You’ll call me if you need anything, right?” “Yes, of course. I promise. Bye, Carrie.” He hung up feeling tense, resenting the pressure. He dialed his office, craving a shower and breakfast. Returning to the ICU ward, Ronnie ran into a flurry of activity. “What the fuck?” Heath raced over to hold him. “He’s gone into cardiac arrest.” Ronnie’s knees gave out. His mother was biting her knuckle, her skin pure white. If it weren’t for Heath’s grasp on him, Ronnie wouldn’t know if he had any feeling left in his body. “Clear!” The defibrillator was placed on his father’s chest. A charge of electricity made his body jolt off the bed. “We’ve got a pulse.” Ronnie heard but couldn’t understand anything the group surrounding his father was saying. His mother asked, “Where are you taking him?” Heath guided Ronnie back, allowing the bed with his father in it to be wheeled out of the room. “Surgery. There’s a possibility a clot has made it to his heart.” His frail mother appeared about to faint. Heath grabbed her and drew her close, holding both mother and son upright. The room emptied. A nurse said, “I’ll show you to the waiting room.” “I don’t believe any of this,” Ronnie said. Heath escorted Ronnie and Beverly behind the nurse. 108

A Man’s Best Friend “Hang in there, guys,” he said. Numb, his mind empty and full simultaneously, Ronnie couldn’t think clearly and began to wonder if this was a bad dream. Heath retrieved their coffees, and managed to find muffins for them, but Ronnie felt too sick to eat. His mother on one side and Heath on the other, Ronnie held both their hands, his head resting on the wall behind him as the minutes turned to hours. Just as he was dozing again, someone called his mother’s name. “Mrs. Caruso.” Ronnie woke and sat up, shaking off Heath’s hand, not realizing he had been holding it while he was sleeping. “I’m sorry.” Immediately his mother broke down and Ronnie couldn’t comprehend why. “Sorry?” he asked the doctor. “Sorry about what?” “We lost him. When we went in, we found he had a perforated colon and had become septic. His heart gave out.” “What?” Ronnie was about to insist his father was healthy as a horse and that it wasn’t possible. But his mother’s cries prevented it. He reached for her and held her to his chest. “Are you kidding me?” he asked. “Are you telling me my dad is dead?” “I’m sorry.” Beverly started wailing. Ronnie held her and rocked her, trying to calm her. They waited patiently until she regained herself. “Can I see him?” she asked. The doctor nodded and showed her the way, resting his hand on Ronnie’s shoulder for comfort. “You need me?” Heath asked. “Yes.” Ronnie reached back and grabbed his arm in a strangle hold. With his mother marching into a room littered 109

G.A. Hauser with bloody gloves and gauze, Ronnie dragged Heath with him step by step. His father had a sheet covering his chest up to his neck, and all the tubes had been removed from his body. “It doesn’t even look like him anymore.” Ronnie stopped short. It looked like a stranger on the bed. Nothing like the man he remembered. “Don’t you want to say good-bye?” his mother asked, still tearing up. “Can’t I just say it from here?” Beverly leaned over and kissed his father’s forehead. Heath put his arm around Ronnie and they advanced the last few steps together. Heath’s reassuring warmth surrounding him, Ronnie touched his father’s cheek and said, “Bye, Dad. Love you.” His mother fell apart at the parting words. Ronnie cradled her against his chest as his own warm tears ran down his cheeks. Seeing Heath dab his eyes made Ronnie love him more. “Baby.” He beckoned Heath closer. When Beverly met Ronnie’s gaze, Ronnie admitted, “Heath means the world to me.” “Don’t you think I already know?” she said. Heath headed home to shower and change clothing while Ronnie drove Beverly to Snohomish with her car. The rain was heavy and traffic on Interstate 5 was the usual crawl to Lynnwood. Ready to head to Ronnie’s apartment to bring him clean clothing, Heath put his mobile phone to his ear. As he stuffed his wallet into his pocket, he listened to his voicemail messages. Along with his web-hosting clients, there was one from Carrie. He was slightly surprised to hear from her, vaguely recalling her asking for his number. “It’s Carrie. I hope you’re taking good care of Ronnie because he won’t let me be there…if he can’t call me, can you? See ya.” 110

A Man’s Best Friend Heath looked at the time of the call. It had been while Ronnie’s father was in surgery. Hours ago. Does she even know he’s dead? He pocketed the phone, grabbed his laptop and a bag of spare clothing, just in case Ronnie wanted him to stay in Snohomish, and then headed to Edmonds. Pulling into Ronnie’s apartment parking lot, Heath dodged raindrops and thumbed through the keys. He had attached Ronnie’s to his own key ring. Someone was coming out as he was headed in. The man held the door open for Heath. He thanked him and scooted up the flight of stairs. Once inside Ronnie’s apartment, he paused and looked around. “Man, you need to give up this tiny place and live with me. What’s the deal? You make enough money to buy a house. Why do you live in this crappy little place?” Snapping out of his thoughts, Heath headed to Ronnie’s bedroom and dug through his dresser drawers for clean clothing. A week’s worth of items piled neatly on the bed, Heath crouched down to push through boxes in the bottom of the closet searching for a backpack or small suitcase. Just as he located a piece of luggage to fill, something caught his eye. He removed a magazine from a cardboard box. “Son of a bitch! Naked men!” Heath tossed the suitcase on the floor and dug deeper. Gay porn videos? “I don’t believe this! You’re this gay and you resisted touching me for two years?” He sat back on his heels to think. “Did you have a boyfriend before me? No. I had to be your first.” Holding the magazine up to admire the image, Heath didn’t know how to react. “This is good, right? Carrie doesn’t have a chance, does she?” He replaced the items as they had been, closed the closet and loaded up the suitcase. “You dog. Jacking off to gay porn. Wow, Mr. Caruso, you hid that well.” While his mother spent the morning on the phone arranging the funeral and letting the relatives know, Ronnie sat 111

G.A. Hauser at the kitchen table with the list, using his cell phone to call friends and distant cousins. By afternoon his father’s older brother, George, had shown up. George was estranged from his own family and Ronnie knew he had a gambling and drinking problem. Gift baskets of food arrived along with condolences. Ronnie was glad because neither he nor his mother had the energy to cook, and nibbling on deli trays was necessary to keep from fainting from hunger. At another knock on the door, Ronnie said, “I’ll get it,” as a few neighbors and George lingered in the kitchen, unwrapping food trays. “Thank God.” Ronnie took his suitcase from Heath. “I appreciate you doing that. It took a load off.” “I’m happy to help.” “I’m sorry.” Ronnie spotted Heath carrying his laptop. “Am I fucking up work?” “Nope. That’s the beauty of being self-employed.” Heath held up the computer. “Come in.” Ronnie backed up. “You’re the best.” He pecked Heath on the cheek and gestured for him to enter. The feeling of comfort soon left when Ronnie spun around to see his Uncle George sneering at him. Setting his suitcase down behind a chair quickly, Ronnie said, “Uncle George, this is my friend, Heath Sherwood.” Ronnie said to Heath, “George is my dad’s brother.” Heath took a step, extending his hand in greeting when George sneered, “Your father would be sick. Thank God he didn’t live to see this.” He gestured rudely to Heath. Heath flinched and dropped his arm to his side. Stunned didn’t describe Ronnie’s reaction. A wave of nausea washed over him. Hell. I’ve found hell. Heath asked, “Where can I put this?” He ignored George and pointed to his laptop. 112

A Man’s Best Friend Flustered, Ronnie was afraid to say, ‘my room’. Instead, he picked up the suitcase and whispered, “Follow me.” Avoiding George’s glare, Ronnie turned on a light in his room as the rain battered the window glass outside. “Jesus.” Ronnie lay the suitcase on his bed. “Where did that come from?” After he’d placed his laptop on the dresser, Heath replied, “You kissed my cheek.” “Did I? I can’t even remember doing it.” “Screw it. You don’t have to defend yourself to him. Your mom knows and seems cool with it. If you ask me, your uncle should be thinking about your loss, not where you stick your dick.” Ronnie dropped down next to his suitcase. “I’m not ready for this. This is hitting me all at once.” “Have you eaten yet?” Heath put his hand on Ronnie’s shoulder. “I ate a slice of turkey roll.” “Come on. Let me make you a sandwich.” As Ronnie followed Heath to the kitchen, he took out his mobile phone from his pocket and dialed. “Carrie?” “Ronnie! How’s your dad?” “He didn’t make it.” Heath overheard the call and appeared slightly pinched. While Heath greeted the neighbors and hugged Beverly, Ronnie tried not to feel guilty he had neglected Carrie and now was making Heath jealous. “I’m so sorry.” “Can you stop by? I’m at my mom’s place in Snohomish.” “Uh. Do you mind if I come after work? Or do you want me to come right now?” “After work is fine. I understand it’s short notice.” “Is…is Heath there?” 113

G.A. Hauser “Yes. Why?” “No reason. Can you give me the address so I can get a map on the internet?” “Sure.” Ronnie did, trying to decide why Heath being with him mattered. Did she know? Was Carrie as insightful as his mom? “I’m sorry about your dad, Ronnie,” she said, “Give your mom a hug and I’ll be there later. Anything I should bring?” “No. I think enough food has shown up.” “Okay. See ya.” “See ya.” Ronnie disconnected the call and drifted off. “She coming?” He met Heath’s eyes. “Yes.” “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” “Ronnie.” Heath pushed him to answer, cupping his cheek. “They all think I’m a queer.” “You don’t know that. Just your mom knows for sure. And she’s cool.” “I’m not gay! Maybe you are, but I’m not. I want kids. I want to have a wife and family,” he said. The look on Heath’s face was gut-wrenching. “Right. Fine. I’ll get out of your hair now.” Storming to the bedroom, Heath retrieved his laptop and headed to the door. “Heath.” Ronnie held him back. Heath stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Forgive me. I’m out of my mind. It all is happening too quickly and I’m so far out of my element, I don’t know what to do.” “What do you want me to do?” his voice was deep and low. “Stay with me, please.” Ronnie took back the laptop, returned it to the dresser and embraced Heath in the privacy of his bedroom. 114

A Man’s Best Friend “Even though I’m gay?” Ronnie waited for his smile. Wasn’t that the punch line? No laughter forthcoming. He sighed. “Yes, Heath.” “Ronnie?” They both turned to see Beverly opening the door to his room. Ronnie dropped his arms quickly though it didn’t matter anymore. She knew. “Can I have a word with you?” “Yes.” He waited for her to leave, then reached to give Heath a reassuring squeeze. Beverly drew Ronnie to her bedroom for a quiet conversation. “I’ve decided to go visit your Aunt Selma in Spokane for a while. This house reminds me of your father too much. After the funeral I need to get away. Do you understand?” “Of course.” “I want you to stay here.” He absorbed her words. “Why? It’s a long commute to work from here.” “Not if you take I-90. It’s the same as from Edmonds.” “Uh. No. Not really.” Ronnie could tell his mother was stressing out. “Mom, why do you need me to stay here?” “I just hate leaving the house alone for any length of time. And I have so many plants. They’ll die.” He had a feeling his mother was overly preoccupied with death at the moment. “Ronnie. Please. You have that tiny one bedroom apartment. This is much nicer. Will you stay here?” “When are you leaving?” Ronnie dreaded the drive to work, thinking about taking his vacation time along with his personal leave days if it was weeks. “Soon. Ronnie, what are Heath’s plans?” “It’s up to him. But I would like him to be with me, if you 115

G.A. Hauser don’t mind.” She hesitated, then shook her head. He said meekly, “I’ve invited a woman friend of mine to come here tonight. Carrie Archer. I want you to meet her.” “A woman?” She lit up. “Don’t get your hopes up.” He smiled knowingly at her. “When is she coming?” “When she gets off work. I imagine around six.” “I can’t wait to meet her.” He reached for a hug. “Are you okay?” “I’m dealing with it.” Beverly backed away. “Could you go through your father’s things while you’re staying here?” “Me?” Ronnie pressed his fingers to his chest. “Give his clothing to charity.” “Mom?” She headed to the door. “You want me to do that?” “Please.” She left him standing alone in the bedroom she had shared with the same man for nearly thirty years. Photos from their wedding, his baby pictures and high school graduation, hung on the wall. Peering at the closet door, Ronnie dreaded that job. “Fifty was too young to die, Dad. Way too young.” He found Heath in the den trying to be inconspicuous, a family photo album on his lap. Ronnie sat on the couch next to him and leaned on him, nudging him playfully. “You still like me?” he asked. Heath peeked at him through the corner of his eye. “A little.” “Mom asked me to stay here while she sees her sister in Spokane. I figured I should take my vacation time off work if she’s planning on staying long.” Heath waited for him to continue. 116

A Man’s Best Friend “Uh…I hate to be all the way out in the boonies alone.” “I’m listening.” Heath slouched in the cushions. Ronnie shifted his position to face him, glancing down at the pictures of him as a young boy on Heath’s lap. “Well, I’d like someone to hang out here with me. Know anyone who’d be interested?” “Carrie?” Heath replied blankly. Ronnie nodded, contemplating the response. “No doubt, but I’m not asking her. So, you’re not interested?” Heath rubbed his jaw. “I may be interested.” “Do you need time to think it over?” Ronnie didn’t know he’d feel this upset at Heath’s lack of enthusiasm. “Nope.” Heath folded the album and set it on the side table, scanning the empty room. Voices came from the kitchen where the rest of the occupants tended to gather, near the food. Heath touched the nape of Ronnie’s neck, sending chills over him. “I don’t need time.” He kissed his earlobe. “Is that a yes or a no?” Ronnie’s cock throbbed as Heath’s breath filled his ear. Heath caressed Ronnie’s thigh. “Yes.” Ronnie heard a startled gasp and glanced up quickly to see his mother at the doorway of the room. Her expression was a mixture of embarrassment and surprise. They separated instantly. Ronnie, feeling idiotic at their carelessness, rose to his feet and approached her, calming his racing pulse. “Did you need me, Mom?” She seemed to be counting to ten, her hands shaking. “I can’t tell you how to run your life,” she struggled for control, “But please have the decency to limit your activities to private rooms while there are people here.” “I’m sorry, I…” he stammered. “I just came to inform you that the funeral home called. Your father’s funeral will be this Friday.” She gestured to Heath. “Does your woman-friend Carrie know about your 117

G.A. Hauser relationship with Heath?” Ronnie bit his lip and didn’t answer. “You’re unbelievable.” Beverly shook her head and left the room. Without success, Ronnie tried to shake off the effect. “I’m sorry, Ronnie.” He spun around to see Heath’s devastated expression. “It’s not your fault. I should know better.” Heath appeared far from consoled and rubbed his face as if he were weary. “I feel like I haven’t eaten in days.” Ronnie curled his finger at him. “Time to eat.” Ronnie hauled Heath to his feet. As they entered the kitchen, Ronnie withstood his Uncle George’s look of revulsion, and his mother’s annoyed glance.

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Chapter Fourteen “Ronnie, I’m so sorry.” Carrie hugged him as she entered the living room. “How are you doing? How’s your mother?” “I’m okay. You can ask my mom yourself.” Ronnie gestured to his mother standing in the hall waiting for an introduction. “How do you do, Mrs. Caruso. So nice to meet you. I just regret it’s under these circumstances. I’m so sorry for your loss.” “Call me, Beverly, please. Thank you, Carrie. It’s nice to meet you too.” She smiled politely. “Can I get you something to eat or drink? Please make yourself at home.” “Don’t go to any trouble. Let me fix you something,” Carrie said, giving Ronnie her coat as she walked past him. The two women headed to the kitchen as Beverly announced her to the few friends who lingered. Hearing his mom introduce Carrie as his ‘girlfriend’, Ronnie leaned against the doorway to listen. Was she? No. Not like in the way Mom wants her to be. He felt Heath press up against him from behind. “I think they like each other,” Heath whispered. “Mom would like anything female at this point, I’m afraid.” “Ronnie, your mother tells me you’ll be staying here while she goes to Spokane,” Carrie said. He entered the room and sat on a chair across from them. Heath wandered in casually, taking the seat next to him. “How long will you be here?” Carrie’s eyes darted to Heath suspiciously. Ronnie couldn’t miss it.

G.A. Hauser “I haven’t decided yet. I’m not looking forward to the commute across Lake Washington for the sake of my mother’s houseplants.” He watched his mother’s reaction. They hadn’t discussed a time frame yet. “You’re going to be living here?” Carrie appeared perplexed. Ronnie didn’t blame her. “Don’t worry.” Beverly cleared her throat. “Maybe you can stay with him.” What the fuck? Ronnie bristled and he felt Heath jolt beside him. “Mom, I’m only staying here temporarily. I’m sure Carrie wouldn’t like the commute either.” He tried to communicate to his mother not to interfere. Live with me? Mom! Shut up! Geez! You’ll have us walking down the aisle any minute! “Ronnie, do you want me here?” Oh fuck! Ronnie felt his cheeks burn red hot. The expression of hope coming from Carrie was childlike, painful to see. “Uh,” he answered, feeling Heath’s stare on his profile. Beverly asked, “What about Heath?” “Heath? What about Heath?” Mother! Now you’re trying to stir up trouble. “Is Heath staying here too?” Carrie’s eyes widened. Ronnie had to look at Heath. This was killing him. He had to see what it was doing to his lover. Heath was staring at the platter of food on the table. Blank. Expressionless. “He…” Ronnie cleared his throat. “Heath works from home, so I just thought…” Ronnie’s voice trickled to nothing. In reality, he didn’t feel he owed Carrie an explanation and knew he’d resent it if she asked for one. His mother? Yeah, she knew she was bringing up garbage to torment him. I never should have invited Carrie. Dumb! Dumb! “I considered asking you to stay here as well, but I know 120

A Man’s Best Friend you wouldn’t.” Ronnie knew Carrie would, but that was beside the point. Beverly said, “You could at least see if she can.” “Maa…” Ronnie begged. The phone rang, giving them a reprieve. Beverly appeared bothered by it, but picked up the cordless and said hello, cupping her ear and walking out of the kitchen. It was silent. Heath began preparing a sandwich. Ronnie imagined it was to look useful. “Do you want coleslaw and potato salad?” he asked Ronnie. “I did. Now I’m nauseated.” “Eat something.” Heath set a paper plate before Ronnie. Ronnie gazed up at Carrie. “Want me to make you a sandwich.” “I can do it,” she huffed. “Take mine.” Ronnie slid the paper plate across the table. “No. You eat it.” Heath prepared another sandwich, not meeting anyone’s stare. “Do you mind if I speak to Carrie for a minute, Heath?” “Nope.” He looked like he minded. Ronnie rubbed Heath’s shoulder affectionately and stood. He gestured for Carrie to follow him out and wished his mother had never opened this can of worms. Taking a bite of his sandwich, Heath waited at the kitchen table awkwardly, avoiding the curious looks from people he did not know. Beverly returned, putting the telephone back in its cradle. Heath checked his watch and wondered how long it would take for Ronnie to have a chat with Carrie, and what he would tell her. 121

G.A. Hauser Though it seemed Beverly supported his and Ronnie’s relationship at first, Heath wondered if the idea that Ronnie could still swing back to straight was coloring her feelings. Not to mention, her husband had just died less than twentyfour hours ago. How stable could the woman be? Heath attempted to be friendly. “I love Spokane. I’ve been there fishing. It’s like another state. A lot less rain.” He bit into his sandwich and watched her. Beverly tucked her brown hair behind her ear and leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “I was born there.” “Were you? I never knew that.” He wiped his lips on a napkin. “Ronnie doesn’t talk much about his family. I’ve known him for two years and it’s amazing how little we know about each other’s backgrounds.” She sharpened her gaze on him. “There are a lot of things Ronnie doesn’t tell people.” The few neighbors lingering sensed a showdown and left the kitchen. Ouch. “Look, Mrs. Caruso,” he placed his last bite of food down, “It isn’t like he’s been lying to you about our relationship for the last two years. Nothing like that.” He wondered if Ronnie would be pissed he was saying this. “The physical part of our relationship only started about a month ago.” She let out an ironic laugh. “Is that meant to comfort me?” “Yes. No. I don’t know. I just wanted you to know it’s not some lie he’s been hiding for years about us, that’s all.” “I don’t get it.” She peeked out of the doorway first before she stepped closer to speak softly. “Is he bi? Is he still undecided?” “I…I can’t answer for him—” “Who is Carrie to him? I can tell she’s crazy about Ronnie. Is he seeing you both?” “No. Yes. I don’t know. Oh, crap, can you ask him?” Heath wasn’t sure himself. “I will.” 122

A Man’s Best Friend When she made like she was leaving the room, Heath stopped her. “Wait.” She halted, staring at him. “This timing sucks.” Heath rubbed his forehead. “I know Ronnie would never want to lay this on you during such a stressful time.” She nodded, as if she wanted Heath to continue his thoughts. “I…I love him, Mrs. Caruso. I’ve never loved anyone this much in my life. I’ll never hurt him.” Oh my God, I told Ronnie’s mother. Will Ronnie kill me for this? She heard it. For what it was worth, she heard it. “Okay, Heath. I get it.” After she left the room, Heath sank down in the chair. Oh, fuck me. He hid his face in his hands. “I can’t win.” Uncle George entered the room. Heath almost knocked over his chair standing up to get away from him. Why are you still here? Go away! he shouted at George in his mind. Heath slipped out of the room to sit with Beverly and her friends. Anything to be away from that malicious sneer of contempt. Ronnie led Carrie into his mother’s bedroom. “Sit.” He nudged her to the bed. Carrie landed with a bounce and sagging shoulders. “My mom was out of line. Asking you to stay here is different than asking Heath.” “Why?” “Why?” Ronnie was hoping it was obvious and didn’t need explaining. She crossed her arms. “Carrie, come on. I don’t know you long enough to make a jump like that.” “Commitment-phobe?” “Yes!” He regretted admitting that instantly. “No. Not 123

G.A. Hauser really. I just need time.” “Why does Heath need to be here?” Ronnie shrugged. “To keep me company and help me out. He won’t miss work. He’s a web-designer. He works from home.” “Lucky Heath.” “Carrie,” he admonished. “Do you even want to keep seeing me?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Why?” He wouldn’t even admit that to Heath, let alone her. “Why do you keep asking me why?” “Never mind.” Carrie acted like she was getting up and leaving the room. He intercepted her, embracing her. “I really like you. You know that.” “Do you? Or am I wasting my time?” “Don’t give me an ultimatum. It’s been two weeks.” “Three.” “Three. Still. That’s not a lot of time.” “How much time do you need?” He backed up and met her eyes. “How should I know?” “A year? Two years?” “Carrie…” She looked away from his stare. “Don’t be that way. I enjoy our time together.” “Really?” “Yes.” “We don’t even mess around anymore. Nothing.” He separated from her. “Not this again. I thought there was more to this than the physical part.” “Are you joking?” she laughed sadly. 124

A Man’s Best Friend “Do we have to do this now? Have a repeat performance of why we don’t do it? My dad died.” Her expression altered dramatically. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Oh, Ronnie, I got wrapped up in my own problems. Forgive me?” “Of course. Come here.” He hugged her again, and she found his lips, kissing him. Heath checked his watch. How long were Ronnie and Carrie going to ‘chat’? This sucks! Images of Ronnie and Carrie screwing haunted him. He knew Carrie wanted Ronnie’s cock. She was sucking it the second time he laid eyes in her in Ronnie’s apartment. A door opened. Heath waited impatiently. Seeing Ronnie poke his head into the living room, Heath felt relieved. Carrie looked slightly pinched, and certainly not as if she had just had wild sex. She walked across the room to speak to Beverly, leaving Ronnie behind. In a huff? Heath couldn’t be sure. Instantly meeting Ronnie at the threshold of the room, Heath asked, “You okay?” “Mom opened a fricken can of worms.” “I know.” “I can’t believe she asked Carrie to stay. Jesus!” Heath’s heart quickened. “Is she?” “No!” Ronnie lowered his voice and looked around. “No,” he said calmly. The relief Heath felt was overwhelming. “You still haven’t eaten.” “I keep getting distracted.” Heath held Ronnie’s elbow. “Now. Your sandwich is sitting on the table where you left it.” “Thanks, babe.” 125

G.A. Hauser “You’ll thank me later.” Heath caught the twinkle in Ronnie’s eye. It didn’t take long for Ronnie and his mother to wear out. Heath was putting on a brave face, but Ronnie knew if he had more than a few hours of sleep last night in his father’s hospital room, he’d be amazed. Ronnie showed Carrie to the door. “Will you be okay for the drive home?” “Yes.” “At least there won’t be any traffic on I-90.” Carrie buttoned her jacket. “Are you trying to clear your conscience because I’m not staying overnight?” “Yes. Is it working?” “No. Go to sleep. You look like hell.” “Thanks, sweetie.” Ronnie pecked her lips. Carrie waved into the room. “Goodnight, Bev, Heath.” “Drive carefully, dear!” Beverly waved at her as Heath said goodnight. Once Ronnie waited for Carrie get into her car and back out of the driveway, he closed and locked the door. He caught his mother’s glance and wagged his finger at her. “Don’t start on me again. Aren’t we all overtired?” “Is he sleeping with you?” Heath winced. Ronnie replied, “Er, yeah.” As if her manners or exhaustion won out, Beverly addressed Heath politely, “Goodnight, Heath. Thank you for all your help.” “Anything I can do, you just let me know.” She smiled and left the room. After Ronnie walked around the house shutting off lights, he gestured for Heath to enter his bedroom first. 126

A Man’s Best Friend “She hates me.” Heath kicked off his shoes, sitting on the bed. “No. She just wants me to get married in a church and have children.” “We can do that.” “Ha. Ha.” Ronnie entered the bathroom to wash up for bed. A moment later, Heath came into the bathroom, naked, placing his toiletries kit on the sink. Ronnie rinsed his mouth of toothpaste, staring at Heath in the mirror. “If I wasn’t so tired, I’d seduce you.” “It’s okay. Tomorrow’s another day.” Heath lifted the toilet lid. Ronnie watched him relieve himself. “Ever try a golden shower?” Heath peeked at him in the mirror. “No.” “Me neither.” “You want to get pissed on?” “Not really. You?” “Not really.” Heath flushed and swapped places with Ronnie. “Carrie’s angry at me.” “I assume she’s jealous.” Heath washed his face. “Yup. I assume that too. But she has a reason.” Ronnie flushed the toilet. “Should I be jealous?” “No.” “Good.” Heath finished washing up and left the room. Shutting off the light in the bathroom, Ronnie undressed, staring at Heath as he lay under the covers. “I get a hard-on looking at you in my bed.” Heath smiled, raising the blankets in invitation. They cuddled together warmly, Ronnie letting out a long exhale. 127

G.A. Hauser “Sleep.” Heath caressed his hair. “Sleep,” Ronnie agreed.

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Chapter Fifteen On a gloomy Friday afternoon, the service took place first in the chapel then at the graveside. A company in black heard the benediction as the coffin was lowered. Beverly and Uncle George were blubbering non-stop while Ronnie choked back his sobs and dabbed his eyes. Since his mother was leaving for Spokane with her sister Selma, who had arrived for the funeral with her husband, Hank, no one was going back to the house in Snohomish after the service. Ronnie kissed the few people who turned up, exchanging words with his aunt and uncle from Spokane, thanking them for taking care of his mother. Before Ronnie could avoid him, Uncle George gave him a dirty look. The rage prevented Ronnie from exchanging pleasantries with him. “My brother didn’t raise you to be—” Uncle George couldn’t even force himself to say the word. “Thank God he didn’t live to see this.” He shook his head and walked away. Ronnie tried to absorb the insult, knowing if Carrie were his fiancée this wouldn’t be happening. But was losing Heath the price to pay to raise children and please his family? No. It can’t be that black and white. Carrie hugged Beverly first and approached Ronnie. “What are you doing now?” She straightened his black tie. “I’m going to my mom’s place. I’m dead on my feet.” Looking like she was awaiting an invitation, Carrie fidgeted, digging her hands into her raincoat pockets. Ronnie couldn’t even force the words to come out. He

G.A. Hauser knew with Heath he could relax and say nothing. With Carrie he had to entertain. They hadn’t dated enough to get to that ‘comfort-stage’. “Well. Call me.” She kissed his slack lips. “I will.” Heath hung back as if giving Ronnie a chance to say goodbye. Watching Carrie walk to her car in the long line parked in the cemetery, Ronnie held his mother’s elbow to escort her to the limousine. “I’m going back to the house with Selma.” “Oh.” Ronnie released her arm, insulted. “I’m picking up my things and then we’re driving to Spokane.” “Okay.” Ronnie shrugged. What was he supposed to say? He and Heath returned to the limousine. Out of curiosity, Ronnie checked to see who noticed him and his ‘male friend’ getting into the limo together. Everyone. Fuck! I should just come out. This sucks! Heath was stoically quiet the entire ride. As they pulled into the driveway of his parents’ house, Heath finally spoke. “I can leave anytime you want me to.” “No.” Ronnie gripped his hand. Heath nodded but he didn’t look happy. Ronnie thanked the chauffeur as he opened the car door for them. “I can’t wait to strip off this suit and tie.” Ronnie touched the small of Heath’s back to escort him to the house. Before he opened the door, Selma and Hank’s car parked in the street out front. Ronnie pushed back the door and waited with Heath on the front porch as they filed past him. His mother looked completely drained. Her eyes were puffy from too many tears and not enough sleep. 130

A Man’s Best Friend While Selma and Hank spoke softly in the living room, Ronnie stood at the bedroom doorway watching his mother get her suitcase. “How are you holding up?” “As well as can be expected.” She picked up the heavy case and Ronnie took it out of her hand. “I’ve got it.” He paused, staring at her. “Are you mad at me?” She blew out a loud blast of air and rubbed her face. “Ronnie, you have a gorgeous woman friend who is madly in love with you. Why can’t you just take the normal route?” “You don’t think I’ve been going insane with that same question?” “What’s holding you back?” “Heath. I’m madly in love with him.” Ronnie stared at her for a reaction. There wasn’t one. “So you’re a bi-sexual?” “Do I need a label?” “Are you sleeping with them both?” “No.” “Just Heath?” She appeared slightly taken aback. “Just Heath.” “Why are you dating Carrie?” Ronnie looked back at the open door. “Now? After Dad’s funeral? Now you want to have this discussion?” “No. I never wanted to have this discussion.” She reached for her bag but he withdrew it from her. “I thought in the hospital you showed affection for Heath.” “I did. I like him. He’s wonderful. I just can’t see you stringing both Carrie and Heath along because you can’t decide on whether to be with a man or a woman.” “I want to be with Heath, and have my own children, not adopt.” “Does Carrie know your little plan?” 131

G.A. Hauser Ronnie winced. “I don’t have a plan. I’m not going to use her to breed. Don’t make me out to be a villain.” “I have to go.” She went for the bag again. Ronnie carried it for her, seeing Selma, Hank and Heath standing silently, possibly overhearing the debate. Ronnie felt sick to his stomach at what Heath caught of their conversation. “Water my plants every day or they’ll die.” Beverly opened the front door. “I will.” Ronnie carried the suitcase out to Selma’s car. “How long will you be gone?” “I’m not sure.” Hank unlocked the trunk and Ronnie put the suitcase in it. “Bye, Ron,” Selma said, kissing his cheek. “Bye, Heath.” She waved as he stood outside the front door. Heath waved back. Hank shook Ronnie’s hand and sat behind the wheel of his car. “Mom?” Ronnie approached her. She seemed to not want to look at him. He touched her shoulder to turn her around. When he opened his arms she fell against him. Rocking her, Ronnie kissed her hair and felt his emotions rise. “I’m doing my best.” “Don’t hurt either of them. They’re too good to be used.” “I know.” He parted from her and watched as she sat in the back seat. When they drove off, he waved, waiting until he couldn’t see the car any longer. The drizzle turned to rain. Ronnie returned to the house and a waiting Heath. “I need to change.” Heath backed up, making space for Ronnie to get by him. Once in his bedroom, Ronnie undressed, feeling numb. Awkward didn’t describe how Heath felt. Yes, Ronnie kept 132

A Man’s Best Friend telling him to stay, but hearing some of the conversation between Beverly and Ronnie about Carrie was not helping. ‘Are you bisexual?’ Did Beverly really ask that? And Ronnie spoke so softly, Heath had no idea what he replied. He wanted to ask him the same question, but didn’t out of fear. Removing his suit as Ronnie did the same, Heath hung his jacket and trousers on a hanger and unbuttoned his white cotton shirt. When he was down to his briefs and socks, Heath caught Ronnie’s eyes. What was he supposed to do? Seduce him? Seduce Ronnie with all those doubts spinning in his head, while they undressed from a funeral burying Ronnie’s dad? No. You seduce me. Though Ronnie appeared spent, Heath could see the outline of his erection through his dark blue briefs. Ya want it? Here it is. Heath yanked his black socks off. Ronnie’s eyes were glistening in the dimness. The noisy rain/hail mixture pelted the windows. “Kiss me.” Yes! Heath closed the gap between them, cupping Ronnie’s jaw tenderly and meeting his lips. Hearing Ronnie’s moan was all the encouragement Heath needed. He slipped his hand underneath the dark blue material and moved Ronnie’s cock upright so he could stroke it. The kissing intensified. “I want you in me.” A current of sexual craving raced over Heath’s length. Still lip-locked, he backed up to the bed, hitting it with his legs. Dropping down to the mattress, Heath pulled Ronnie’s briefs down his thighs, freeing his cock and balls. Heath kissed and licked his way to the head of Ronnie’s cock, pushing his underwear off, until Ronnie could step out of it. Ronnie held Heath’s shoulders and thrust his hips forward. It was Heath’s turn to groan. He inhaled Ronnie’s body, sucking as deep as he was able, and massaging his sack and 133

G.A. Hauser between his legs near his ass. “Heath…Oh…So good.” Those words only served to drive Heath nuts. He gripped the base of Ronnie’s cock and drew hard and fast, jerking his dick in time with his sucking. Imagining Ronnie was close, Heath pushed his finger into his rim and toyed with it, going wild on him, closing his eyes and yearning for the taste of his cum. And Heath was given what he craved. The heavy throbbing began in Ronnie’s balls and raced up his cock. Heath’s mouth filled with his sperm soon after. Swallowing him down, milking him for all he could give, Heath would have cried out in bliss if his mouth wasn’t full. “Baby, baby…holy shit…” Ronnie swayed as Heath held firm. “Lie back.” Heath guided Ronnie to lay flat, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Where are the rubbers?” Ronnie pointed to the nightstand. He spread his legs wide, holding his knees, exposing his ass. “Fuck.” Heath jerked his own cock a few times and made for the night table. He fished out a condom and a tube of lube. “Unpacked the most important shit.” “Uh huh.” Trying to keep his eyes on Ronnie’s submissive posture, Heath rolled on the rubber, then kneeled on the bed with the lubrication. “Christ, look at you.” Before he attended Ronnie’s hole, he went for it, licking it and the root of his cock. “You’ll get me going again.” “Good.” Heath lost himself chewing on Ronnie’s inner thighs, tempted to suck him off again. Instead, he knelt upright between Ronnie’s legs and coated his ass with gel. Dipping his finger inside, opening the tight muscle, Heath wanted to get in. The perspiration began running down Heath’s skin at the anticipation and excitement. “Ready?” He pushed the head of 134

A Man’s Best Friend his dick against Ronnie’s greased rim. “Ready.” Heath jammed his body against Ronnie’s hearing him hiss with the sensation of the penetration. Heath couldn’t hold back he was so pent up. He gripped Ronnie’s legs and fucked him, fucked him good. “Still okay?” “Hell yeah…” It didn’t take long to hit. Heath couldn’t stop the climax if he wanted to. He thrust in as deep as he could and savored the quick pulsing and unbelievable pleasure his crotch was providing the rest of his body. Grunting, sweating profusely, Heath thrust inside once more and pulled out, gasping for breath. ‘I love you’ was there on the tip of his tongue again. He bit it back. After he removed the rubber, he dropped to his back next to Ronnie to catch his breath. “I needed that.” “Me too,” Heath replied.

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Chapter Sixteen “Kiss me,” had become their favorite request. In a pseudo-living together environment, while Heath worked on his laptop and Ronnie took time off, that two-word demand began to feel like a playful competition. On his way to the kitchen, the bathroom, sitting and watching TV in the den, or as Ronnie diligently kept the plethora of potted plants hydrated, Heath asked and Ronnie was happy to oblige. Ronnie leaned over and kissed his lips as Heath tapped the keyboard and kept working on his hosting and updating. “Mm.” “Mm,” Ronnie agreed. “Carrie’s coming over tonight.” “I know.” The watering can suspended over an enormous spathiphyllum plant, Ronnie said, “You okay with that?” “Yes. I like her.” Heath felt much more confident about his relationship with Ronnie after being ‘chosen’ by him to live at his mom’s house. After all, Heath was in Ronnie’s bed at night, with him twenty-four hours a day, and making love to him a few times a day. Carrie wasn’t. But they had yet to discuss what Carrie meant to Ronnie. Heath was becoming convinced Carrie was just a good friend. “Do you? Really? You’re not just saying that?” Ronnie tilted the spout and flooded the potting soil. Heath was amazed at how much Ronnie needed his approval. He knew if he said he hated Carrie, it would not go over well, and it just wasn’t true. “No, I’m not just saying that, I really like her.”

A Man’s Best Friend “If she met you first, she’d have fallen in love with you,” Ronnie said shyly, avoiding Heath’s eyes. Heath chuckled at the bizarre comment. I’m gay, sweetheart, not bi, and not straight. No way. “She’d be barking up the wrong tree. And besides, I don’t want her love, just her friendship.” Heath was given a chance to stare at Ronnie’s baby blue eyes. “It’s your love I want.” Ronnie’s cheeks went raspberry. Having held back using the ‘L’ word, Heath knew it was the first verbal inference to the topic. He waited, holding his breath. “You… you have that, and you know it,” Ronnie whispered. “Tell me.” Heath grabbed Ronnie so he wouldn’t run away. “Is it hot in here?” Ronnie used his finger to loosen his shirt collar comically. “It’s getting hotter by the minute.” Heath took the watering can from Ronnie and set it on the floor. Ronnie appeared nervous. “Te..te…tell you? I thought I just did.” Heath had a feeling getting a proper, ‘I love you’ out of Ronnie wasn’t going to happen yet. He’d be patient. It was just three silly words. “Show me,” he purred. That, it appeared, Ronnie had no problem with. He sat on Heath’s lap and kissed his lips. Ronnie’s mobile phone rang while he and Heath were getting dressed after showering together. He realized it was Carrie. “Hey, babe. You still coming?” Ronnie asked. “I was about to head out when I wondered what we were doing for dinner. Is there any decent restaurants in Snohomish?” “Are you being funny?” Ronnie caught Heath’s eye as 137

G.A. Hauser Heath sat on the bed and put his socks on. “No…” She giggled. “But I’m on Capitol Hill in Seattle, hello?” “I made reservations at Mardini’s. Is that okay?” “I suppose. Never been there.” “You don’t know what you’re missing. It’s incredible.” “You sound good. Getting over your dad’s death okay?” Ronnie wasn’t. He still hadn’t tackled getting rid of his old man’s clothing, but he didn’t want to talk about it or he’d choke up. “I’m dealing with it.” “Is Heath helping you forget?” Trying to judge if she was jealous or concerned, Ronnie didn’t know. “Never mind. I’m on my way. I love you, Ronnie. See you soon.” “See ya soon.” He shut his mobile phone and threw it on the dresser. “Everything okay?” Heath asked, standing and tucking in his shirt. “Yeah. She’s on her way.” “Good.” Heath left the room. You don’t sound good. As Ronnie finished getting ready he thought about Carrie speaking those horrifying three words. What’s the deal? Does she and Heath plan this stuff behind my back? Love? Now I have to say I love them? Like- verbally? Can’t I just show them? It’s meaningless crap if you don’t really act like you do. She couldn’t really love him. Not yet. It unnerved him. Carrie was fragile, easy to hurt. He wasn’t prepared for the responsibility. It annoyed him. Now he was supposed to be the guardian of her feelings. He wasn’t ready. He walked to his parents’ liquor cabinet and poured himself a shot of whiskey. As he stared out of the kitchen 138

A Man’s Best Friend sliding doors, all he could see was his reflection; his black jeans and black shirt highlighted by the ceiling light. It was raining again, and the darkness outside began invading his mood. Sipping his drink, he tried to understand how this could happen. He was thinking in a purely analytical way. Wasn’t it natural for her to fall in love? But he didn’t reciprocate. It complicated things. He couldn’t see himself settling for a woman. Not now. Not unless she was going to agree to give him children, but not expect marriage or commitment. That thought made him laugh. Yeah, good luck with that. Musky cologne engulfed his senses. Ronnie turned around to see Heath pouring his own glass of booze, smiling at him sensually. Instant hard-on. Ronnie studied him mercilessly, feeling his life depended on an accurate decision. Was this what he wanted? Heath raised his head showing off the lines of his angular cheekbones and his jaw with that dark, Hollywood-two-day’s growth-stubble he adored. He was incredibly muscular and strong, without an ounce of fat on him. His hair was thick and full, conservatively cut. His eyes were dark and inviting. Yes, Heath Sherwood was unbelievable. Heath felt the appraisal, wondering on the result. He knew Ronnie had just spoken on the phone to Carrie and it didn’t take a master’s degree to see the war that was raging. Gay, straight, gay, straight. He knew his power was in being completely male. Heath stood next to his lover and caressed the nape of his neck. The back of the house was so dark from the long night and pelting rain, Heath couldn’t see anything through the glass, just the reflection of them and the kitchen behind. Ronnie shivered visibly as Heath dug his fingers into his 139

G.A. Hauser hair, massaging his scalp. Heath sipped his drink and tried to see Ronnie’s face in the glass. “You spoke to Carrie?” “Yes, she said she’s on her way.” “What else did she say?” Heath asked as casually as he could. “Nothing, why?” “Just asking.” He walked back to the living room, feeling Ronnie’s stare. “Kiss me?” Heath turned around. “Come and get it.” Ronnie hurried to his arms, devouring Heath’s mouth. Heath offered to drive to the restaurant. Since Ronnie wanted to get drunk, he agreed. Sitting three across in the front cab of Heath’s luxury pickup truck was tight, but cozy. Carrie was in the middle, talking a mile a minute. She sounded nervous, but Ronnie didn’t ask if she was. “So? What did you guys do this week? All dressed up? No faded jeans? Wow. Nice. You guys must go nuts with nothing to do all day? You ever get bored?” Ronnie couldn’t keep up with her, and judging by Heath’s silence as he drove, he didn’t try. It seemed as if she was still speeding from the big city and big business while they were feeling laid back from too much sex and time off. “Heath is working on his laptop most of the day. I’m trying to get motivated to get rid of my dad’s clothing. So, no, not bored.” She let out a loud exhale and snuggled between them. Heath led way under a brown canopy to a glass doors. Live music was playing in the lounge, loud and upbeat. A hostess 140

A Man’s Best Friend showed them to a table, away from the band, and they relaxed and ordered a drink while they scanned the menu. Heath and Ronnie ordered a round of local micro-brewed beer while Carrie asked for a glass of red wine. “How about we order three things and share them?” Carrie said. “Sounds good.” Heath set the menu down. “I’m easy.” “I heard that about you.” Ronnie smiled, caught Heath’s sexy wink and then noticed Carrie watching. “Uh,” Ronnie cleared his throat, trying to get beyond his faux pas. “How about steamed baby clams for an appetizer? We had that at Heath’s and loved it. Remember?” “I remember, Ron,” Heath replied, laughing. “I love Cajun shrimp. Let’s get that as one of the entrees,” Carrie said. “Good.” Ronnie asked Heath, “Any input?” “Why don’t you get one chicken dish, one steak, and the shrimp?” “Perfect.” “Didn’t I just suggest that?” Carrie sounded defensive. Crap. What am I doing wrong? “Yes. You suggested we share three dishes. Heath echoed your idea.” Come on. Let’s behave. Heath appeared irritated but said nothing. The booze arrived and Carrie ordered the meal for them, which was fine by Ronnie. He assumed it would be okay with Heath but was afraid to ask. They had put away several drinks by the time their dinner came and ordered more to quench the fire from the Cajun shrimp. Ronnie knew he and Heath were buzzed, Carrie was loaded. She peeled and ate a shrimp hungrily. “I want to plan our 141

G.A. Hauser trip to Europe right now.” Uneasy at the notion, Ronnie shifted in his seat. “I have the route all mapped out in my head. We can visit my step-brother in Rome and then see all the hot touristy spots, and beyond!” She signaled a charge. “Yeah, huh?” Ronnie couldn’t handle the discussion. “It’d be so easy! Just hope on a plane and zoom!” She spread her arms as if she was an airplane. The men each grabbed a wing before it landed in their face. “You’re just a bubble tonight, aren’t you?” Ronnie laughed at her. “I’m happy, happy, happy,” she cheered and munched another shrimp. “Happy or drunk,” Heath mumbled under his breath. Ronnie heard it. “Well, I’m happy and about to burst. Will you excuse me?” Ronnie stood and found his way to the restroom. Carrie ate in silence while Heath sipped his beer. He noticed her hair started to fall in her face and her fingers were too sticky to tuck it back. While she searched in frustration for a clean napkin, Heath reached over and pushed the strand behind her ear. “Thanks, Heath, I feel like such a slob. I’m the only one still eating.” “Don’t worry about it.” She stuck a napkin into her water glass and tried to clean her hands. “Oink,” she laughed at herself. He was thinking the same thing and smiled. “You miss your house, Heath?” “No, not really.” He finished his beer and set the bottle down. “You sure?” 142

A Man’s Best Friend “I’m sure.” “What’s your middle name?” “Why?” “Just curious.” “Are you going to Google me?” “I already did that. Nice website. You have a lot of rich clients. Middle name?” “Gerald.” “Heath Gerald, aren’t you worried someone will break into your house? Doesn’t it bother you? Heath-Gerald?” “No. I’m not worried. What’s your middle name?” “Ann.” “You don’t say? Sounds like a Beach Boys’ song. Carrie Ann.” He sang and checked the area to see if anyone was listening to this nonsense. “I don’t miss my house.” She leaned towards Heath, her elbows on the table. He sat back to put a gap between them as she came close enough to kiss. “Don’t you feel you’re crowding him? I mean, living there?” He didn’t like this bullshit one bit. “Let’s get something straight.” He mimicked her posture, but more menacing. “We’re both very fond of Ronnie and we want to be there for him when he needs us. When he decides he no longer needs me there, then I’ll go home. Do you hear what I’m saying, Carrie-Ann?” Heath knew it was cold. Cold and calculating the way he tinged her name with spite. “Now you listen, Heath.” She pointed her finger at him. “You may be just fucking ‘fond’ of him, but I love him.” “Well, how’re we doing? We need another round or are we ordering dessert?” Ronnie sat back down. “Excuse me.” Heath went to stand. 143

G.A. Hauser “No wait, Heath.” Carrie grabbed his sleeve in a strangle hold. It was then that Ronnie read the outrage on Heath’s face. Hell. I’m in hell. “Sit, Heath.” She yanked him back down and leaned on his shoulder. “We both care a great deal about him. I know that. I’m just jealous you get to spend so much time with him. Forgive me, Heath Gerald?” Ronnie thought he was going to puke. His insides were twisting. He had no idea what was said in his absence. Heath relaxed and Carrie blew in his ear. He turned to her in surprise. “Cut that out,” he said. “We wish you could be with us more too. When we go to Italy we’ll all be free to enjoy ourselves. Okay, Carrie Ann?” Ronnie was so many pages behind he couldn’t find the first one. Going to Italy? Carrie-Ann? “Hello? What’s going on? Why are we calling each other by two names?” “Oh, Heath.” Carrie threw her arms around him and hugged his neck. “It’ll be great. You’ll see.” She smooched his cheek. “Okay. Okay.” Heath smiled. Ronnie wasn’t amused. “Hey!” Ronnie tugged her back from kissing Heath. “Stop.” “Wassa matter, Ronnie? You jealous?” She made kissing noises at him. “No more wine for you, young lady.” Ronnie couldn’t wipe the frown off his face. “Tequila shooters, please,” she told the waiter. He acknowledged her as he walked by. “Aaareeba!” she shouted and danced from the waist up. “What the fuck?” Ronnie asked Heath. Heath shrugged.

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A Man’s Best Friend Carrie slept on the drive home. She had finally burned herself out. They carried her between them into the house. After they set her in a chair, Ronnie straightened his back and met Heath’s gaze. “She can’t drive home now, and I’m not going all the way to Capitol Hill and back.” He checked his watch. It was after eleven. “What are you going to do?” Ronnie shrugged. “Stick her in Mom’s room?” “While we sleep together in yours?” Heath removed his jacket and hung it up in the coat closet, reaching for Ronnie’s. Ronnie handed him his jacket and kicked off his shoes. “That’s what I want to do. You think we can wake up before her?” Heath peeked at him from over his shoulder, smiling. “What happened at the restaurant between the two of you?” “Let’s get her in bed before we discuss it.” Looking down at Carrie, seeing her completely out of it, Ronnie said, “I never should have let her drink so much.” “You’re not her mother.” “No. But I still am responsible for her. She’s only twentyfour, Heath.” “Big deal. I’m three years older than her, you’re two years older. What the hell difference does that make?” “Some difference. I learned a lot in the last two years.” Ronnie gestured to Carrie. “Help me out.” Ronnie held Carrie’s arm and began getting her upright. Heath hauled her off the chair and they carried her to the master bedroom. “Are we going to take her clothes off?” Ronnie leaned Carrie’s weight on Heath so he could turn down the bed. “Not entirely.” “Have you ever seen her naked?” Ronnie peered up at him sheepishly. “Maybe.” “Great.” Heath grimaced. 145

G.A. Hauser Biting his lip at the anxiety this topic always created, Ronnie finished peeling down the covers. “Sit her down. It’ll be easier.” “I don’t believe we have to do this. Just let her sleep it off in her clothes.” “Come on. Stop being a putz.” Ronnie removed Carrie’s high heels as Heath took off her coat. Carrie moaned but didn’t open her eyes. “I don’t remember the last time I was that drunk.” “College. I learned my lesson by twenty-one.” “Heath. Cut it out.” Ronnie began unbuttoning Carrie’s blouse. “Man, I feel weird doing this.” “Just put her in bed. Don’t strip her.” Inhaling deeply as he thought about it, Ronnie replied, “Okay.” They managed to manipulate her limp limbs under the blankets. She fidgeted and sighed loudly. “We’re done.” Heath made an obvious gesture of brushing off his hands and left the room. Ronnie wished he could put a bell around her neck to warn him when she was awake. If she found him in bed with Heath, the jig was up. Ronnie closed the door to the bedroom, seriously considering putting a chair in front of it so he’d know when Carrie was awake. “I’m being ridiculous. I can just say we didn’t want to disturb her.” Heath heard him and replied, “Or you didn’t want her get sick on you.” “Stop. Come on.” Ronnie headed to his own room, entering the bathroom to wash. “Okay. Tell me what you guys talked about behind my back.” Ronnie poked his head out of the doorway. “It wasn’t ‘behind your back’. And you want me to ‘stop’?” Heath threw his shirt on a chair and slid his slacks down his legs. 146

A Man’s Best Friend “Well?” Ronnie asked with the toothbrush in his mouth. “She’s just uptight because she can’t spend more time with us…er. I should say, with you.” Ronnie rinsed his mouth. “Is that really all?” “Yes.” Heath didn’t sound sincere. Ronnie touched the heavy stubble on Heath’s jaw. Heath’s troubled expression told Ronnie he had more on his mind than he was willing to share. Ronnie licked Heath from his cheek to his ear. “Talk to me, lover.” Heath closed his eyes and shivered. He caressed Ronnie, pushing his hair back from his forehead. “Ronnie.” “Yes?” Ronnie smiled, expecting something good. “Christ, you’re so handsome.” Heath looked lost on him momentarily. Ronnie gazed into his eyes. “Kiss me.” Heath did. “You know the way I feel about you, don’t you?” Heath moved closer, brushing his crotch against Ronnie’s. “I’m not just ‘fond’ of you.” “You’re ‘fond’ of me?” Ronnie laughed, but Heath seemed very unhappy. “What are you talking about?” “I mean, I’m really wild about you, like completely.” “No shit. You know I feel the same.” When Heath wouldn’t shift his intense stare or stern expression, Ronnie let out a deep breath. “Heath, what did she say?” He didn’t reply. “Heath?” Ronnie tilted his head. Heath’s hand was still in his hair. Ronnie gasped as Heath gripped him tightly, kissing his lips, squeezing him in a strangle hold. Ronnie was scorched by his passion, but he felt desperation in it as well. It was insane, Heath’s situation was anything but desperate. If anything, Ronnie needed him more now than in the two years they had been just best friends. 147

G.A. Hauser Heath urged Ronnie out of the bathroom and laid over him on the bed. It was a crushing grip, a deep breath and Ronnie would be in pain. Heath kissed and licked his neck under his ear, sending rushing of chills over Ronnie’s length. “God, I love you, I need you,” Heath groaned in what sounded like misery. Ronnie closed his eyes. “Lover, I feel the same.” “Don’t leave me.” “I’m not going anywhere. No way.” He didn’t feel hollow and empty for the first time in his life. Oh no, he wasn’t going anywhere. Ronnie knew Carrie had said something which must have been very painful. He tried not to imagine the worst. Did she threaten him? Warn him to stay away? What on earth did she say? “Make love to me.” “Of course.” Ronnie knew Heath had something to prove. This was too needy. Immediately, Ronnie’s clothing was tugged off. “Heath, just try and be quiet.” Again, Heath didn’t answer. Once they were both nude, Heath embraced Ronnie, urging him under him, caressing Ronnie’s face, grinding their cocks together. Ronnie wondered if he had words to comfort his lover, words to make him believe they were very much attached. He just couldn’t say them. Would he be betraying Carrie? Did he want to lose her completely? Have her show her disgust of who he was and disappear from his life? He forgot his thoughts as Heath grabbed his cock, squeezing and jerking on it. Heath connected to his mouth to explore it with his eager tongue. It was as if Heath wanted to be the better of the two. Like he wanted Ronnie to crave him more. But Ronnie had told Heath he no longer did anything physical with Carrie. Did Heath think he was lying? 148

A Man’s Best Friend Parting from his mouth with a breath, Heath kissed his way down the center of Ronnie’s body to his treasure trail. With strong hands, Heath spread Ronnie’s legs wide as Heath lay between them. “Heath!” Ronnie closed his eyes as his cock was sucked deep and hard. “Holy crap!” He clenched his jaw to stop talking in case the thin walls revealed his secret. The desire to come began to rise to a peak. Heath stopped and grabbed the lube from the drawer in the nightstand. His chest heaving, Ronnie watched Heath coat his fingers. Penetration followed. Ronnie arched his back and bit his lip to stop the scream of pleasure. Heath wasn’t holding back. Slick fingers drove inside him, finding the magic spot. Did Carrie even know it existed? Carrie who? Heath massaging inside, his cock back in Heath’s hot mouth, Ronnie was riding the edge of a climax to the extreme. About to yell, “I’m coming!” at the top of his lungs, Ronnie tightened his muscles and gripped the bedding under him in a stranglehold. The surge to his groin was pure pleasure. Opening his lips to gasp in silence, Ronnie felt the cum racing through his dick and heard Heath grunt, louder than he would have liked him to. Mouthing, ‘fuck! FUCK!’ Ronnie came, bucking his hips into Heath’s mouth. The depth of Heath’s fingers inside him drove him wild. Spent, gasping, Ronnie blinked and found Heath sheathing his cock. Heath bent Ronnie in two to expose his ass. As Heath took possession of Ronnie’s body, Ronnie watched his face. Heath fucking. Heath about to climax. Was there a sight more delicious than that? “Ah, fuck!” “Shh!” Ronnie knew that was too loud. Heath stopped vocalizing his pleasure and gave a few last thrusts inside Ronnie’s body. Ronnie stared in awe. You 149

G.A. Hauser gorgeous stud! Heath released his grip on Ronnie, staring down at him as he pulled out. When he recuperated for a moment, Heath climbed off the bed and headed to the bathroom. Ronnie couldn’t move. He was exhausted and sated beyond compare. When Heath returned he used a damp washcloth to clean Ronnie’s bottom lovingly, tossing the cloth on the floor and shutting off the lamp near the bed. Ronnie cuddled in his arms. “Lover. Wow.” “Kiss me.” Curling Heath into his arms, Ronnie purred as he kissed him with all the love he had in his heart. “Goodnight, babe.” “Night, Heath.” Ronnie set the digital clock for seven am, to be safe. While Heath nestled against his chest, Ronnie put his hands behind his head, wondering if he had already made a decision of what he wanted to do with his life.

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Chapter Seventeen The next morning Ronnie sipped a cup of coffee as Heath prepared breakfast. Carrie poked her head into the kitchen. “Hi.” She appeared slightly embarrassed. “Hi,” Ronnie replied, resting his cup on the table. “I’d like to shower…er…do you have towels I can use?” “Yes.” Ronnie stood and glanced back at Heath. “You okay?” “Yup.” “What’s he making?” Carrie asked as she followed Ronnie to the bathroom. “Dutch Babies.” “What’s that?” “It’s like a breakfast soufflé.” “Christ, he can cook?” Ronnie didn’t reply. He had no idea if it was a statement or a question, but either way, it sounded like a competition. He grabbed a handful of towels from the linen cabinet. Leading the way to his parents’ bathroom, he stacked the towels on the sink for her. “There’s everything you need in here. Just help yourself. Mom has the place stocked.” “Blow-dryer?” Crouching, Ronnie removed one from under the sink and placed it on top of the towels. “Where did you sleep last night?” Carrie began getting undressed. “The couch.”

G.A. Hauser “The couch? You could have slept with me. Why did you sleep on the couch?” Her skirt and pantyhose dropped to the floor, next her shirt. When she was in her bra and panties, Ronnie tried to keep polite eye contact. He didn’t hate women’s bodies, he just preferred men. But Carrie had a body to admire. “I…didn’t mind.” Ronnie cleared his throat. “What were you guys going to do today?” Reaching behind her back, she unhooked her bra. In reflex, Ronnie turned his back. “Uh…today…today…” “You don’t have to avoid looking at me. I don’t mind. It isn’t anything you haven’t seen.” He stared at the ceiling having no idea what to do with Heath making breakfast in the kitchen. “Let’s see…Saturday. Oh. I was going to start getting rid of my father’s clothing. My mom—” “Ron?” Crap. He rubbed his forehead, still facing the door. “Yeah?” “Turn around.” The question ‘why’ almost slipped out. Duh. Why? She touched his shoulder and he almost jumped out of his skin. “Do you like me?” “Yes. Very much.” He began to sweat. “Look at me.” Building up the courage, not wanting to hurt her feelings, Ronnie first glanced at her before turning around. He kept his stare to her eyes. “You’re not looking.” “What…what do you want me to look at?” “Are you sure you like me?” He peeked. She was fabulous. Better in bright light and not the darkness they’d made love in. “Wow.” 152

A Man’s Best Friend A smile formed on her lips. She draped her arms around his neck and reached on her toes to kiss him. He held her shoulders and kissed her back, without his tongue. “You’re beautiful.” “Make love to me.” His face felt boiling hot and his pits became damp. “Do…do you want children, Carrie?” “Yes…” she whispered sensuously, licking his neck and jaw. “Ronnie?” Heath called from somewhere outside the room. Ronnie jumped in reaction, hitting the door with his back. “I’ll see you after your shower. We won’t eat until you’re done.” He didn’t wait for her reply, scrambling out of the bathroom. Heath wasn’t prepared for the flushed guilty expression on Ronnie’s face. “Is breakfast ready? Could we hold off? Carrie’s taking a shower.” “Could you talk any faster?” “What?” “Nothing.” Heath headed back to the kitchen, betrayed. I can’t date a bisexual. This is killing me. “Smells good.” Heath glared at him, opened the oven and peeked in. “Heath…” “Just tell me when you want me to leave.” He closed the oven door and leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. “Leave?” Ronnie closed the gap between them. “Only leave if you want to. I don’t want you to.” “Am I putting a crimp in your style?” Heath sneered. Yeah, I’m jealous. So what? 153

G.A. Hauser “What did I do?” “You tell me.” “Nothing. I gave her towels and showed her where the blow-dryer was.” “Sure.” “Don’t do this. I’ve been loyal to a fault.” Heath flinched in response. Was he really accusing Ronnie of cheating? Did he want to play that game? Make Ronnie decide? “I’m sorry. I just thought you looked a little strange when you came out of the bedroom.” “It’s okay. I know this is awkward.” “Should it be?” “Maybe a little.” Heath peeked at the hallway and could hear the shower running. “Kiss me?” Checking behind him first, Ronnie moved into his arms. Heath gripped Ronnie’s head so he wouldn’t just peck him quickly. He ran his tongue over Ronnie’s teeth and Ronnie opened his mouth. Heath tongue-fucked it. Lip-locked and grinding crotches, using the time they had alone, Ronnie whimpered and pressed his erection against Heath’s, as if he were going mad for him. The sound of running water stopped. Though Heath knew they still had a minute, he allowed Ronnie to back up. “I need to fuck you.” Ronnie’s cheeks grew flushed. “Um…I need to get to sorting my dad’s clothing today. I doubt Mom is going to stay in Spokane very long.” “Why? Doesn’t she trust you to water her plants?” “No.” Ronnie snapped his fingers and grabbed the watering can. Heath smiled as Ronnie raced around the house nurturing 154

A Man’s Best Friend his mother’s flora. He couldn’t love him any more than he did. It made his heart ache. Ronnie had made the botanical rounds after filling the watering can repeatedly. He didn’t know why anyone would want so much responsibility. His mother gave him one spider plant when he moved into his apartment. He killed it in a month. He forgot he had it and it shriveled up. It was nearing nine when Carrie entered the kitchen. “I used some of your mother’s make-up. You think she’ll mind?” “No.” Ronnie held the coffee pot in an offer to pour. Carrie nodded and sat at the table. “Mm! Smells good! Can’t wait to taste it, Heath.” “Coming up, Carrie-Ann.” Heath sliced into the puffy soufflé. “Why are you guys calling each other by your two names?” Ronnie shook his head in confusion. “We like it. What’s your middle name, Ronnie?” Carrie asked. “Why?” He pointed to the milk and sugar already on the table and joined her. “Ronnie Brad,” Heath answered. “Ron Brad?” “Yes? Carrie Ann?” he teased and touched her nose. “I love it.” She thanked Heath for the food as he served them both. “Oh! Look at that!” Ronnie licked his lips and drizzled maple syrup on it. “Heath, I love you.” Carrie choked. Ronnie looked at her as he chewed a mouthful. “What?” Heath joined them and went for the syrup. “You told me you love me.” Going into a coughing fit first, Ronnie then stuck another 155

G.A. Hauser forkful into his mouth. He noticed Carrie’s stare. “I love the food. Why are you looking at me like that?” “Like what?” Carrie asked. Ronnie tried not to get upset. Heath squeezed his thigh under the table. A moment later, Carrie’s was fondling the other one. With Ronnie’s fork suspended in mid-air, a piece of powdered-sugar-covered Dutch Baby hovering near his lips, he froze. When the hands were about to meet in the middle he jumped. “No!” They both withdrew their hands quickly at the surprise. “You all right?” Heath asked. Ronnie glanced left, then right, at two very curious sets of eyes. His went back to eating his food. “Yeah.” Since Heath did the cooking, Ronnie and Carrie shared the clean up duties. Heath stood still to think for a moment, wondering if Carrie was going to spend the entire day with them. While Carrie washed the dishes, and Ronnie dried them and put them away, he must have felt Heath’s gaze and turned around. When Ronnie connected to his lover’s hungry stare, he grinned in delight. Heath relaxed his pose, leaning against the doorway and touched himself. It attracted Ronnie’s undivided attention. Heath gave his cock a smooth, slow stroke over his jeans. Ronnie’s Adam’s apple moved from his swallow and his face went slack. Oh yes…be horny. Want my cock in your ass. Heath nearly combusted at Ronnie’s delightful shy reaction. He spread his legs apart and showed off his erection, using his hands to frame it. 156

A Man’s Best Friend Carrie cleared her throat. Ronnie shook himself back to reality instantly and tore his eyes away from Heath’s cock. Not reacting, Heath met Carrie’s stare as hers wandered from his eyes to his bulge. Jealous yet? Heath figured she had to know. No woman that pretty wouldn’t be getting laid by a guy she’d been seeing for three weeks. Heath grabbed an apple from out of a bowl on the counter. “Time to check my emails. What’s the plan?” “I have to go through my dad’s stuff. My mom will kill me if she finds out I haven’t done it.” “Can I help?” Carrie dried her hands. “No. I can do it.” “Should I go home?” she asked. Before Ronnie answered, the phone rang. Saved by the bell. Ronnie grabbed the cordless on the counter. “Hello?” “It’s me.” “Hi, Mom.” Heath waved and left the room. Carrie sat at the kitchen table, pretending she wasn’t listening. “How’s Spokane?” “Boring.” Ronnie laughed. “I’m coming home tomorrow.” “Okay.” “Did you get anything done?” “Well, your plants aren’t dead.” “That’s the least you can do.” “Not really. You have a hundred of them.” Ronnie made a silly face at Carrie though she didn’t know what the 157

G.A. Hauser conversation was about. “Is Heath still there?” Ronnie became nervous the topic would go in a direction he didn’t want Carrie to hear. He headed to the living room, trying not to appear obvious he was preventing her from listening. “Yes. And Carrie.” “Oh?” “We went to Mardini’s last night. Carrie got a little too drunk to drive.” “I don’t mind.” “I didn’t think you would.” “Where did she sleep?” “In your bed. I’ll change the sheets.” “With you?” “Mom.” He peeked back at the kitchen. “She’s wonderful, Ronnie. Sensible and bright. She’d make a fine daughter-in-law, don’t you agree?” “I suppose she’d make someone a fine daughter-in-law.” “You’re an idiot.” “I am not. Don’t call me names.” “If you let this one slip away I’ll know you’ve gone crazy. And you know, I’d love a grandchild on my knee before I’m too old to sit one there.” She paused. “I know you want children, Ron. I don’t think Heath will get pregnant for you.” “Stop. Why are you doing this to me?” He began to sweat. “Seriously, Ronnie, have you at least thought about it?” He crept nearer the front door to whisper. “It has entered my mind but it’s more complicated than that.” “You’re the idiot complicating your life.” “Hey! What’s with the name calling?” He knew he shouldn’t take insult, but her words hurt. “I’ll keep bugging you until I knock some sense into you. I know you’re afraid of commitment. For crying out loud, Ron, 158

A Man’s Best Friend you couldn’t commit to watering one spider plant.” “Mom!” “You could be happy with a woman and Carrie could be that woman.” Carrie peeked into the living room, smiling sweetly at him. “She is beautiful,” Ronnie spoke softly into the phone. “Yes, she is. And beautiful women don’t stay single long.” “Okay. I got the message. You’re a trouble-maker, you know that?” “Get to work on your father’s clothing. I really can’t handle seeing his things in the closet. I’m having a hard time dealing with coming back as it is.” “You don’t even want to help me?” “No. Give the good clothing to charity and dump the rest.” “That sounds harsh.” “It’s not. It’s me coping. Please.” “I was going to do it today.” “Thank you.” “Have a safe trip back.” “I will. Love you.” “Love you.” Ronnie hung up and stared at Carrie. “Is she okay?” “Yes. She’s coming back soon and I have to get rid of Dad’s clothing before she gets here.” He walked to the kitchen to return the phone. “Let me help.” “No. It’s okay.” “What do you want me to do?” He couldn’t ask her to leave. Not with his mother’s words echoing in his head. “Just relax. Watch TV. If you want, you can go to the main street and check out the antique malls.” “Okay. I’ll stay out of your way.” 159

G.A. Hauser He pecked her cheek. “Thank you.” Separating the clothing, bagging the trash and folding the suits and good shirts, Ronnie was getting a work out. He kept wiping the sweat from his eyes and finally took off his shirt and used it to dab his face. He’d been working for almost two hours straight and sat on the floor in front of the closet, staring at his father’s shoes, trying not to miss him and cry. The perspiration covered him like fine mist. His hair stuck to his cheek and neck, his hands pulsated, and his shoulders and back ached. He didn’t know how much time passed while he was lost in memories, but suddenly he realized he had an audience. Carrie and Heath were at the doorway, hesitating to come in and disturb him. He wondered how long they’d been there. When he acknowledged them, they entered the room. He smelled the familiar provocative scent of Heath’s cologne and inhaled it deeply. Because he’d been kneeling for too long, he felt like he couldn’t move or get up without creaking like an old man. The look of lust in their eyes intimidated him. It was filled with an expectation level he knew he couldn’t handle. Maybe he hadn’t grieved enough yet. Sorting through his dad’s clothing was hitting him hard. Carrie was the first to speak, “Ronnie, are you okay?” “Why didn’t you ask for help?” Heath appeared very concerned. How could Ronnie ask Heath to help him do this? He couldn’t. It was too much. That’s why his mother didn’t want to do it. Carrie stepped directly in front of him. He felt her cool hands running over his naked shoulders. “Let me help. You’re dripping wet.” 160

A Man’s Best Friend He connected to Heath’s gaze from over her head and caught a flash of anger, a tensed jaw, then Heath lowered his eyes. A lump formed in Ronnie’s throat. With his father’s clothing piled around him in black plastic bags, he needed comfort. He was just petrified to get it from the best source. Carrie wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. Ronnie was on the verge of breaking down. His legs became numb with pins and needles. He didn’t respond to her in any way. It appeared Heath couldn’t stand it. He murmured something indiscernible and walked away. “Heath.” Heath stopped and connected to his eyes. Ronnie fought hard to calm himself. Warily, Carrie backed away from him, obviously trying to catch the communication. For some reason, Ronnie didn’t mind crying in front of Heath. But wailing like a baby in front of Carrie? No way. He ground his teeth to stop the anguish, struggled to his feet with stiff legs, and hurried out of the room to shower and rinse the sweat off his body. Burning with anger, Heath growled out loud. He knew damn well what would have happened if Carrie hadn’t been there. No one was letting Ronnie grieve. No one was holding Ronnie so he could cry. The man is most likely sobbing like a baby in the bathroom. And I can’t do a fucking thing! Heath felt so much rage he stormed to the liquor cabinet and poured himself whiskey. He shot it down his throat and filled his glass again. Hearing a noise, he spun around. 161

G.A. Hauser Carrie was obviously trying not to cry. Heath couldn’t bear her devastated expression. He exhaled a stressful breath and offered her a shot. She nodded, wiping her eyes roughly. “Come here.” Once he handed her a glass Heath gestured to the living room. Like she was dead on her feet, she dropped onto the sofa. Heath sat next to her, bringing the bottle with him, setting it on the coffee table. “It’s okay. Don’t worry.” She met his eyes and he found hers about to overflow. “Do I drive him crazy? Am I too possessive?” Heath tried not to show his shock. “I don’t know. You have to ask him that. I think he’s still having a hard time with his dad’s death. Maybe sometimes he just needs some space.” “You love him, don’t you?” He tried to keep his features expressionless. He knew what he wanted to tell her, he knew what Ronnie wanted him to tell her, and he knew what Carrie wanted to hear. Three completely different answers. He thought hard before he spoke. “In my own way,” he said delicately. After shooting down the liquor, Carrie got to her knees on the couch. Heath backed up in alarm. She touched his jaw stubble, watching his eyes. “You’re very beautiful, Heath. Too much a temptation.” He knew several ways to interpret that and it killed him to not know what she was thinking. Having a good hard cry in the shower, spent and tired, Ronnie didn’t feel better from the release of emotions. He felt worse. Thinking about the weird standoff in the bedroom, he grabbed a pair of jeans and yanked them on. 162

A Man’s Best Friend Great. Just great. Now what? This is insanity. She’ll know. How could she not? That look. Why does he have to be so obvious? Look so denied? He had me all week. Fucked my brains out. Carrie? A peck on the lips. Ronnie pulled a tee shirt over his head, his heart pumping. Of course he’s possessive. Look how demanding he is. He’s with me constantly. When Carrie showed up it was like a severed umbilical cord. He has to change his entire demeanor, pretend he doesn’t own me. Ronnie dove onto his bed and crushed his face into the pillows. He stretched his arms out to the edges of the mattress and started pulling hard toward himself. His arms ached, but the ache inside his head made that dull pain seem like rapture. It was the deceiving that stung most of all. Loving him in her absence. Ignoring him in her presence. He felt shredded in two. Having each alone was easy. Seeing both sets of eager eyes was torture. There’s no way out. Do I want out? I’d be crazy if I did. He groaned in frustration and sat up. He knew he couldn’t have them both forever. So? Enjoy them now, while he can. He pictured the scale in his mind, which way would it go given a choice. The answer was obvious, but it meant a huge sacrifice. He climbed off the bed and leaned on his dresser to stare at himself in the mirror. He was breaking inside. I want them both. Goddamn it! Help me! Hell. I’ve found hell. “I’m an emotional wreck because of Dad. It has to be that.” He wiped his eyes before they spilled, and made his way to the living room. Hearing Carrie and Heath talking, Ronnie waited before he entered the room, tucking in his shirt and changing his expression to a mask. They were sitting on the sofa together. She was tilting over Heath’s lap near his face. It appeared she was about to kiss Heath. Ronnie waited to see if that would happen. 163

G.A. Hauser Carrie caught Ronnie looking into the room out of the corner of her eye. Heath almost fell he climbed off the couch so quickly. “Hey. Are you okay? Let me pour you a glass of whiskey.” He hurried to get Ronnie a drink. Carrie left the room. The bathroom light turned on and she shut the door behind her. Heath hurried over to him and handed him the glass. Ronnie took it and walked to the back sliding doors in the kitchen. He slid them open and stepped out onto the deck in the cool November afternoon. “I’m sorry, Ronnie.” Ronnie turned to him suspiciously. Heath stepped through the doors towards him. “For what?” Ronnie waited for the inevitable. ‘Carrie and I are leaving you.’ “For earlier, in your parents’ bedroom. I know better.” He lowered his eyes. “Oh, my lover,” Ronnie said sadly. He was weakening inside again for him. He reached around Heath’s head to feel his soft hair, his scent was stimulating. Ronnie was in agony over him. “Would you ever do anything to destroy this?” Ronnie asked. “No.” Heath’s voice was strong. Ronnie narrowed his eyes, judging. “Come here.” Heath stepped closer, connecting their crotches. “Kiss me.” “Gladly.” Heath closed his eyes and kissed his lips.

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Chapter Eighteen Late Sunday night, Carrie drove back to Seattle since she had to work the next morning. She didn’t appear upset or overly concerned about anything that had occurred while she stayed in Snohomish. She kissed Ronnie on the lips and Heath on the cheek. Then she drove off. An hour later, Selma and Hank’s car parked in the driveway. Ronnie was glad his mother was back, yearning to get on with his life and stop tending her ridiculous number of green friends. He felt like he was in limbo from so many decisions he couldn’t make and it unnerved him. “Hi, Mom.” He pecked her on the cheek. She didn’t look rested, more like restless. Ronnie waved hello to his Aunt and Uncle as his mother invited them in for coffee before the long drive back to Eastern Washington. The awkwardness when Selma and Hank noticed Heath standing in the living room was palpable. Yes, he stayed the week! Ronnie wished everyone would evolve. Did he have to ‘come out’ formally? It should be evident to those who knew him he was in love with his best friend. “Did you go through your father’s clothing?” Beverly seemed distant. “Yes. All you have to do is drop off the good clothing at the charity shop.” Ronnie paused. “You still need me to hang around?” Beverly put her suitcase in her room and emerged, running her fingers through her salt and pepper, shoulder-length hair.

G.A. Hauser “Did Carrie leave?” “She has to go to work in the morning.” Ronnie exchange glances with Heath. “You can go. I’ll be okay.” “You sure?” Ronnie crossed the room and held his mother by the shoulders. “Yes.” Selma filled the carafe with water for the coffee maker while Hank sat at the kitchen table. No one was talking to Heath. It was pissing Ronnie off. He could imagine the conversations in Spokane about the wonderful woman Ronnie met and the man who was standing between him and marriage. “Okay. Call me if you need me.” Ronnie left the room to get his belongings packed. He had most of it done in anticipation of his mother’s return. Heath followed him into the bedroom. “What do you want me to do?” Dreading going back to his empty one-bedroom apartment, Ronnie turned around and held Heath around the waist. “I don’t know.” “Come stay with me for a few days.” The relief Ronnie felt was enormous. “You sure?” “Are you kidding? Am I sure?” Heath squeezed Ronnie’s arms. “If it’s not too much of a problem.” “It’s not a problem.” “Can I stop at my place quickly to get more clothing?” “Of course.” Ronnie cupped Heath’s jaw. “Thank you.” “Don’t mention it.” From the time Ronnie woke up, in the arms of his beloved Heath, to the nights when they finally gave in to sleep after 166

A Man’s Best Friend feverish bouts of love making, they were together. Ronnie never dreamed life could be like this. No aching for passion, no house rules, and no limits to the number of sexual orgasms. It was beyond even his dreams. They spent a few hours each morning at the gym, swam laps in the club’s pool, played tennis, racquetball, and basketball, ate like kings, drank like bounders, and fucked like rabbits. The urge to be with Carrie, marry her and have children began to lessen. Ronnie felt a bond growing with Heath that had surpassed his wildest imagination. He wanted to be around Heath all the time. They never argued. Ronnie could be himself, sit on the sofa drinking a beer and scratch his balls while Heath did the same. There was no pretence to act refined to be accepted. It was simple. No expectations, no worries. Heath made sure Ronnie was aware he could go home to his apartment if he wished. Ronnie told him, “I appreciate that, but no, thank you, I’d rather not, if you don’t mind.” “If I don’t mind?” Heath laughed. “Mind? Mind that every time you stand near me you touch me? That every meal you offer me a taste of yours and feed me? That when the passion strikes you, you pull me close to kiss me? Mind?” Heath swung Ronnie in his arms. “Heaven. I’ve found heaven!” Ronnie knew he was head over heels in love. No mistaking that. Heath wondered, what if? What if he had tried seducing Ronnie a year before? Before Carrie ever appeared on the scene? Would that have been it? Would they have shacked up together and been permanent? They were a couple. This past week proved it. Ronnie was due to go back to work after two weeks off yet he never mentioned moving out and going back to live at the crappy apartment. 167

G.A. Hauser But every once in a while Heath would notice foreboding signs. At the bookstore in the Alderwood Mall, a little three year old girl walked up to Ronnie while he browsed the novels. When Ronnie realized, he peered at the child who was staring up at him. He crouched down and had a little chat with her, until her mom blushed shyly and apologized. Ronnie assured her one wasn’t necessary. The expression in Ronnie’s eyes as the toddler walked away, her large brown eyes staring at him as she went, warned Heath he may eventually be in trouble. Carrie. Carrie could make Ronnie a father. That was one for her side. Even though Ronnie claimed he and Carrie were not having sex, Heath wondered if she was taking birth control pills. He didn’t presume to ask. Occasionally he’d shiver at the thought of her getting pregnant. Ronnie was an honorable man. He would do the ‘right’ thing. Heath would be lost. Heath assumed Carrie wanted children. Didn’t most women? Unfortunately, Heath didn’t have the opportunity to have that discussion with her, and doubted he ever would. Friday afternoon arrived along with Carrie’s impending visit. Like clockwork, Carrie had called Ronnie’s cell phone nightly to touch base, asking Ronnie to narrate what they did without her. Heath tried not to care. Most of the time he was fondling Ronnie’s cock while he spoke with her. It was hard to be jealous. Before she arrived to join them for dinner, Ronnie said, “I want to head out for an hour to take care of something. Okay?” Heath let it go only because of the vivid glee on Ronnie’s face. He hoped he wasn’t buying a diamond ring for Carrie. “Sure.” “Don’t worry, baby.” Ronnie caressed Heath’s face. “Kiss me.” 168

A Man’s Best Friend Heath dove at him, dragging him into his arms and sucking at his mouth and tongue. “Wow.” Ronnie caught his breath as he stepped back. “Now I want to fuck.” “Let’s go.” Heath reached out his hand. “No. Let me just get this done. Okay?” Biting his lip on his question pertaining to solitaire rings, Heath nodded. Ronnie kissed him once more, and left. Carrie arrived at Heath’s house before Ronnie returned. “Where’s Ronnie?” Why did she always look so cute? Her high heels, her blonde hair pinned up in a gold clip. Jesus. Could you be more adorable? It’s hard not to hate you. “He told me he had an errand to run. I don’t know what he’s up to.” She dropped her purse and coat on the sofa, looking tired. “Do you want a drink?” “Do you have any wine?” “Yes.” Heath headed to his kitchen. “White or red?” “Either.” While Heath poured her a glass of merlot, Carrie sat at the kitchen table. “Here ya go.” “Thanks, Heath.” “How was work?” “Sucks. It must be nice working from home.” “It is.” He replaced the bottle in the cupboard. “Lucky shit.” “Huh?” He heard but asked her to repeat it. “Nothing.” Yeah, you’re not jealous. Not much. Heath leaned back on the counter and watched her drink, not wanting her here. Ronnie parked in the front of Heath’s house and exited the 169

G.A. Hauser car with two shopping bags. He slipped through the front door, ran up the stairs, and hid the items in the closet of the bedroom he and Heath shared. He felt a hand on his ass and peeked over his shoulder. “God, you are so tight.” “Bad boy,” Ronnie scolded. “Where were you?” “It’s a secret. Is Carrie here? Her car is out front so I assume so.” “She’s in the kitchen sipping wine and talking to a friend on her cell phone.” “Okay.” Ronnie headed to the bedroom door. “Kiss me.” It was said like a dare. Sweat broke out on Ronnie’s forehead. He stared at the hallway. “Be quick.” “Yeah. Sure.” Heath wrapped his hands around Ronnie’s head, holding him tight. Ronnie’s cock grew instantly hard. At a noise he jerked back from Heath. “There you are.” Carrie ran down the hall to Ronnie, leaping into his arms, kissing him all over his face. “Miss me?” When he leaned back to smile at her, Ronnie spotted Heath’s pout. “Did I! It’s been a long week.” After they descended the stairs, Ronnie tilted his head to the living room, indicating they should relax. “So? Where did you go?” Heath asked. “Sit down.” Ronnie gestured to the couch. “Close your eyes.” “Close my eyes?” Heath protested. “You too, blondie.” Ronnie pointed at Carrie. “What for?” Carrie asked. “You’ll see.” 170

A Man’s Best Friend When they obeyed, Ronnie retrieved the bags from the bedroom and placed one in front of each of them. “What the hell is he doing?” Heath asked. “How the hell should I know, he’s your friend.” “My friend?” Heath choked in a laugh. “All right, open up your eyes.” They blinked. “What the fuck?” Heath said. Carrie picked up the small plastic bag eagerly. Ronnie heard Heath gulp from where he stood. Don’t worry, Heath, it’s not even shaped like a ring box. “Well? Are you going to just sit there? Open it.” Ronnie crouched in front of Carrie. When Carrie produced a box from a jewelry store, Ronnie glanced at Heath who appeared apprehensive at best. She opened the lid with more suspense than the prying of a vampire’s coffin, gasping at the contents. Fussing with it, she removed a delicate gold chain with an opal pendant. “Pretty!” Heath leaned on her shoulder to see it. “Try it on.” Ronnie took it out of her hand and offered to place it on her neck. After he fastened it, she touched it and turned to Heath, her hand still lifting her hair. “Does it look nice?” “Yes. It’s very pretty.” Heath didn’t appear pleased. Ronnie didn’t think it looked like a pre-engagement present. It was a silly little charm. “Thank you, Ronnie. I don’t know what to say.” “You already said it.” He smiled. “You’re welcome.” He crawled in front of Heath. “Next.” “Uh, Ronnie, I feel really weird about this.” He avoided Carrie’s gaze. Suddenly Ronnie caught the silent communication from Heath. Was it odd for him to give them gifts? All he wanted to 171

G.A. Hauser do was show them appreciation for being there when he needed them. But Ronnie did have all week to give Heath his present, alone. Why was he doing this in front of Carrie? Was it to show her how he felt about Heath, without actually admitting it? Yes. She’s no dummy. She’ll get it. Won’t she? As he and Heath stared at each other, Ronnie had a hunch they were both reconsidering doing this now. “You’re right. Never mind.” Ronnie went for the bag. Carrie snatched it from him. “Will you just open it?” She put the large plastic bag onto Heath’s knees. Heath turned to Carrie and gave her a pained expression, then reached inside the package. It was apparent Heath was uncomfortable. Carrie played with the necklace, running the pendant on the chain, her eyes no longer in focus. This wasn’t smart. She’ll know. You don’t lavish gifts like this on a ‘best friend’, do you? I fucked up. I thought it would seem innocent, but now I don’t know what it seems like. Too late. Heath removed a leather jacket from the bag. “Holy crap.” Heath looked stunned. Was it too extravagant? Heath loved leather. He looked fabulous in those black leather pants. Appearing flushed and hot, Heath again turned to Carrie. Carrie chewed on the pendant as her eyes misted over. “Try it on,” Ronnie said softly. It brought Carrie back into focus and she scooted closer to Heath. “Yes. Try it on.” “I’m speechless.” Heath stood, slipping the jacket over his arms. “Nice!” Ronnie thought he looked like a sexy biker. Suddenly Carrie leapt off the couch and into Ronnie’s 172

A Man’s Best Friend arms, kissing him. “Thank you! I love my necklace. You’re wonderful. “Thank you, Ronnie. You’re too generous.” Carrie said, “Now it’s my turn for surprises.” Heath sat down on the couch and Ronnie gave her his undivided attention. “My company was approached by a German manufacturer for the possibility of a merger. I’m flying to Munich Monday.” Ronnie held his breath and Heath stared at her. “What I want to know is, after the business part is done, can you meet me in Italy for a few days?” Ronnie started coughing. Heath whispered, “Easy, buddy.” “Come on. Let’s decide,” Carrie urged. “We’ve talked about it long enough.” “Uh, uh…” Ronnie felt as if he were having heart failure. “I just took two weeks off. I don’t know—” “Don’t you have vacation time? Most businesses close between Thanksgiving and Christmas anyway. Come on.” She flapped her hand in front of Ronnie’s face. “Heath, get your laptop. Let’s check out flight reservations.” She stood and looked around the living room. “Uh…uh…” Ronnie choked. “It’s in the bedroom.” Heath tilted his head to the upper floor. Carrie sprinted up the staircase. Heath made sure she had left the room and then dove on Ronnie, pinning him to the carpeted floor. “Inhale. Exhale.” Heath laughed at him. “Heath. How? How can we do this?” “We’ll manage.” “How?” Ronnie tried to imagine it. “I’d love to see Italy. I’ve always wanted to go on vacation with you.” Heath yanked Ronnie up to a seated position. He put 173

G.A. Hauser his hand on Ronnie’s mouth. “If you ask ‘How?’ one more time, I’ll spank you.” Ronnie grinned wickedly. “And how! Wear your leather pants and new jacket.” “Bad boy. I figured that’s why you got me black leather.” Heath ran his hand over the slick surface of his jacket. “First night we get alone, leather-clad fucking,” he purred. “Yes. Ride me like a crotch-rocket.” Heath checked the staircase. “I wanna ride you now.” “Kiss me quick.” Heath grabbed his face and kissed him. “I’m so horny I can’t keep my hands off you.” “Ah! Stop!” Ronnie smacked Heath’s fingers away from his cock. They both turned to the hallway. Carrie was holding the laptop, a grin on her face. “Behave boys. Time to make plans.” Ronnie and Heath scrambled to their feet and sat on the sofa with her.

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Chapter Nineteen Much to Ronnie’s apprehension, a day later, he was preparing for a brief three-day stay in Rome. He and Heath boarded a Virgin Atlantic flight, with a stopover in London and an Easy Jet flight to Rome. The first leg was on wide-body jet with two window seats on either side of four center ones. Ronnie gazed out of the porthole as they sat at the gate during the boarding process. “Ten fricken hours to London, a stopover at Heathrow, another flight to Rome, for three days. We’re nuts. She’s nuts.” “What?” Heath asked. “Nothing.” Ronnie rubbed his face tiredly. “This flight flies over the North Pole. How cool is that?” Heath rubbed Ronnie’s leg. “Ten hours to London...a stopover…” Ronnie droned the same line. “Sleep.” “In this tuna can?” Ronnie gestured to the cramped seat. “Wanna join the mile high club?” “No. Are you insane?” “A good orgasm will get you tired.” Ronnie glanced around as the last few passengers boarded, stowing their belongings. “You want to screw me in a room the size of a coffin?” “Hell yeah.” He could see Heath’s hard-on bulge under his jeans. “When the lights go off and everyone’s asleep, I’ll screw you,” Heath said.

G.A. Hauser Once the door was sealed and they began taxiing to the runway, the monitor in the seat in front of him began playing a safety demonstration with cartoon characters. Ronnie became distracted by it until Heath rested his head on his shoulder. “I guess we can be gay here. No one knows us.” “Yup.” Heath rubbed the inside of his thigh. “Don’t grab my balls.” “Kiss me?” Heath asked. “Quick.” Heath spun around and pecked Ronnie’s lips, settling back onto his shoulder. Ronnie smiled. Mile high club? Hmm. Once the seatbelt sign clicked off, Heath reclined his seatback, raising the arm from between them. Ronnie removed the novel, North Face, by Mary Renault, from his carry-on, shoving the bag back under the seat. Heath flipped through an in-flight catalogue magazine dully. “Oh, look. A progressive wake-up clock.” He laughed. “Just what we can’t live without.” Ronnie shook his head and opened his book. “Are you going to watch a movie?” Heath held up headphones. “Nah. I want to read and then sleep.” “After we screw.” Ronnie gave him a look. The look that meant ‘yes’. Heath was just about to say, ‘kiss me’ when the flight attendant asked them, “What would you like to drink?” “Two beers, please?” Heath ordered before Ronnie could reply. “Beer?” Ronnie asked Heath. “It’s a long flight and I can handle it better if we get a little silly.” “You don’t get ‘silly’, you get horny,” Ronnie whispered. 176

A Man’s Best Friend “Me? No.” Heath grinned, lowering his tray table. The empty trays removed, the movie selection began, and the cabin dimmed. Ronnie stared at the monitor in front of him, watching the image of a tiny plane moving north over Canada, it changed display to speed and altitude, as if he were in the cockpit. Heath nudged him. When Ronnie looked he found a condom and a tube of lube being flapped at him. He slapped Heath’s arm down in panic. “Don’t make it obvious.” “I’ll meet you there.” “Which toilet will you be in?” “The available one. I won’t turn the lock.” Heath unbuckled his belt. “Hurry.” Crap. “Go.” Ronnie pushed Heath’s bottom as he climbed out of the seat. Half of him was terrified, the other, pumped! He didn’t waste time. As passengers settled in for a nap or movie, Ronnie headed down the narrow aisle. Just as a woman exited the head, Heath entered. Ronnie hoped the attendants were too busy with the clean-up process to notice. Didn’t this happen all the time? It must on these long flights. He didn’t have to guess which toilet Heath was in. Without knocking he opened the door. “You gotta be kidding.” “Get in.” Heath grabbed Ronnie’s shirt and managed to cram him inside the miniscule space. “I read an erotic novel about two guys making it in the bathroom of a flight.” Heath unzipped his jeans. “They met on a plane and consummated their affair over the toilet.” “How romantic.” Ronnie rolled his eyes. “Drop your pants and turn around.” “It’s too bright in here.” Ronnie opened his belt and 177

G.A. Hauser lowered his clothing to his knees. “Sorry. You shut the door, the light comes on.” Heath worked his own cock. “I don’t know if this is revolting or sexy.” Ronnie spun towards the toilet bowl. “Revolting.” He eyed the plastic seat and cringed. He was coaxed to bend over and slick fingers pushed inside his ass. “Sexy.” Heath laughed. “Yeah, kinda is.” Feeling slightly helpless, Ronnie found a semi-clean surface to prop his hands on as his jeans and briefs were lowered to his ankles. He spread his legs as far as he could, bending his knees, hoping Heath could get in. When he felt the head of Heath’s cock push past his rim, he knew the answer. “Oh, man…” Ronnie closed his eyes and shivered. “Fuck. I love fucking you.” Heath pushed Ronnie’s shirt up higher on his back, wedging his cock inside him to the hilt. When he had fully penetrated, he grabbed Ronnie’s dick. It was so noisy from the fan and the plane engine, Ronnie figured no one would hear small grunts and gasps. “Where am I gonna aim my spunk?” “I wouldn’t open the toilet lid at the moment.” “Screw it. Screw me.” Ronnie wiggled against Heath’s pelvis. “Hang on for the ride.” Heath engulfed Ronnie with his body and palm, thrusting in. “Damn, that’s nice.” Ronnie closed his eyes and allowed Heath to do all the work. “Faster.” Heath doubled his effort. Ronnie peeked down at the action. The slickness from the lube helped Heath’s palm run from the base to the head of Ronnie’s cock. “Holy shit. I can’t believe I’m about to blow.” A deep masculine moan reached Ronnie’s ears as Heath hammered him from behind. “Yes. Oh, fuck. Heath!” Ronnie climaxed, his cum 178

A Man’s Best Friend splashing the toilet lid and behind, hitting the floor in milky drops. The strength of Heath’s thrusts nearly knocked Ronnie off his feet. He held on and felt Heath’s cock pulsating rapidly inside him. “That’s it, baby. Feels so good.” Ronnie was drenched in sweat. Heath pulled out slowly. There was barely room for Ronnie to turn around, but he did, using paper towels to clean his bottom up as Heath buried the used rubber in the trash. They washed as well as they could in the miniature sink and Ronnie tried to wipe the most obvious cum spatter. “It’ll vanish and turn clear soon. Forget it.” Heath ran his fingers through his hair while looking in the mirror. Ronnie was ready for sleep. “Kiss me.” Though he expected a peck on the lips, Ronnie was embraced and dipped over the toilet, swooning from Heath’s mouth. Hanging onto Heath’s neck as they mashed lips and twirled tongues, Ronnie was high on the risk, the sex, and the man. Ronnie followed Heath as he scooted out of the toilet, avoiding eye contact with the passengers waiting in line for the bathroom and the flight crew’s curious gaze. Yeah, so what? I just got fucked by my boyfriend in the plane’s toilet. What are ya gonna do? Huh? Back in their seats, Heath wedged a pillow against Ronnie’s shoulder to sleep. Ronnie was drowsy and ready for rest. Sneaking a sniff of Heath’s soft hair, he closed his eyes and dug his fingers between Heath’s thighs, falling asleep.

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Chapter Twenty A cab dropped Ronnie and Heath off at the Hotel Virgilio in Rome. Carrie had made the reservations, claiming this area was in walking distance to all the major tourist sites. After paying the driver the agreed amount, Ronnie stood in front of the modest building and smiled. “Wow. Love the laid back look of it.” “Yeah, for three whole days. What a waste. Rome on a budget.” Heath opened the lobby door. “Now you say something? Why didn’t you complain about the length of time when we made the reservations?” “I thought you didn’t want to take any more time off,” Heath snapped. “You’re the one who was complaining about being off work for so long.” “Be quiet.” Ronnie pushed Heath into the hotel. “We’re in Rome!” Heath regained his balance and glanced back at Ronnie. “You trying to kill me?” “Au contraire, mon frère.” “That’s French. Speak Italian.” “I don’t know Italian.” Ronnie noticed a young woman standing behind a check-in desk. “Buongiorno!” she said. “Hi.” Ronnie set his suitcase down and fished out the paperwork. “We have reservations under the name Carrie Archer.” “Si.” She tapped keys on a computer. “For three, yes?”

A Man’s Best Friend “Yes.” “Two double beds?” Ronnie choked and looked at Heath. “What? Two doublebeds? What was she thinking?” “You’d be in bed with her?” Heath said. Leaning his elbows on the desk, Ronnie asked, “Any rooms with three beds?” “Three beds?” she asked. “Yes. Three single beds?” Ronnie began to sweat. “I knew this would happen.” “Calm down.” Heath rubbed Ronnie’s back. The woman worked the keyboard looking anxious. “Would you like me to see if I have another room, yes?” “Another room?” Heath replied. “Si. Two different rooms?” “Fuck…” Ronnie hissed under his breath. Heath heard him and leaned against him at the counter. “No,” he told the woman, “One room.” She took a minute longer and shook her head. “No. No one room with three single or single and double.” “What am I supposed to do?” Ronnie conferred with Heath. “She must assume you’re sleeping with one of us.” “Yeah, her.” Ronnie scrubbed at his eyes. “Why did I do this? I’m insane.” “Stop. Let’s just get the room. I’m exhausted and need a shower.” Ronnie noticed the woman’s sad smile. Did she guess? Probably. “Okay. We’ll take the room.” “Buono.” She handed them each a card-key. “Up one floor in the lift, yes? To your left. Do you need help with the suitcases?” “No. Thank you,” Ronnie said. 181

G.A. Hauser “There is a continental breakfast in the café below between eight and ten. Just ring the desk if you have questions, yes?” “Thank you.” Heath stood in front of the elevator and pushed the call button. “Enjoy your stay in Roma.” “Thanks.” Ronnie smiled at her but the minute he entered the elevator his expression dropped. The doors sealed them in. “What the hell is Carrie thinking? I’m not sleeping with her while you’re with me.” “You can sleep with her. Just don’t fuck her.” Heath looked grim. “No. No, Heath, this is not going to work.” The elevator door opened and Ronnie stepped out, reading the room numbers. He walked down the narrow white hall and used his key to get inside a room. The bathroom door was opposite the room entrance. Ronnie poked his head in to see it. A shower stall, toilet, sink and a bidet. Inside the tiny room were two side by side double beds, a television suspended from a bracket in the corner of the room, a dresser, a closet/wardrobe, and a chair. The room was wallpapered beige with floral scrolls with a darker maroon printed border running around the wooden trim above the headboard. It was small. Very small. Ronnie placed his case on the bed and walked to the draped window to look outside. A courtyard with parked cars below, black iron-clad window guards, and a dumpster, was the view. “When is Carrie expected?” Heath began undressing. “Uh…” Ronnie checked his watch. “Tonight. I think.” “Ronnie.” He sat on the bed and looked up at Heath as he unbuttoned his shirt. 182

A Man’s Best Friend “Stop worrying.” “I have to tell her I’m gay. I can’t do this anymore.” Heath tossed his shirt on the bed and sat next to him. “Not now. Not on our trip.” “I’m not sleeping with her while you’re in the next bed. No way.” Heath touched his face, running his fingers over the roughness of his new beard growth. “Kiss me.” Closing his eyes, meeting Heath’s lips, Ronnie had an image flash of his apartment neighbor, Janie. For some reason he realized he hadn’t contacted her since his father’s death. She must have thought he had fallen off the face of the earth. Janie told him something. She was right. Don’t chuck it all for the sake of not being called a name. Fag. I’m gay. I can’t string Carrie along hoping she’ll offer to have my offspring but not my love and commitment. That’s absurd. Heath stood in front of him and removed the rest of his clothing. Naked, Heath fingered his own hard-on, seducing him. Just the sight of Heath’s long legs and tight abs made Ronnie hot. “Heath.” Ronnie held his arms out for an embrace. Heath fell against him and Ronnie burrowed his face into his pubic hair, inhaling Heath’s skin. “Get naked.” After giving Heath a squeeze around his waist, Ronnie sat up and pulled his shirt over his head. Heath aimed his hard dick his way. Ronnie licked it, distracted by his beauty. “I want in.” Orally fucking Heath’s cock a few moments first, Ronnie stood and stripped off the rest of his clothing, stretching out his hand for Heath to join him on the bed. Before he did, Heath removed the condoms and lubrication from his carryon and tossed them next to Ronnie. 183

G.A. Hauser Ronnie engulfed Heath in his embrace and whispered, “Kiss me.” Heath reached for his face, digging into Ronnie’s hair. Ronnie groaned at the sweetness of Heath’s lips. “God, I love you,” Heath whimpered. The words brought a surge to Ronnie’s body. He deepened the kiss, rocking Heath in his arms. “Baby…my baby.” Ronnie parted his legs in invitation. Before he put the condom on, Heath licked Ronnie’s erect nipples sending currents of pleasure to Ronnie’s cock. With both hands Ronnie grabbed their cocks, clamping them together, jerking on them and writhing on the bed. “I’ll come,” Heath said against Ronnie’s hard nib. Ronnie stopped, panting to gain air. Heath sat back on his heels, opening the condom and sliding it on his engorged cock. Taking the tube, Heath pinched a dollop onto his fingers and greased Ronnie’s ass. Instantly Ronnie’s yearning to come grew stronger. Assisting Heath, Ronnie held his knees and spread wide. Heath licked the drop of cum emerging from Ronnie’s slit, then placed his dick against Ronnie’s rim. From being fucked numerous times, Heath’s dick found its way in Ronnie’s hole easily. “Yes, baby…oh…” Ronnie couldn’t get enough. He trembled and pushed Heath in deeper. At first Heath eased his length inside, connecting their bodies. “Ready?” “Yeah.” Ronnie held the bedding in his fists. Once he braced himself, Heath began thrusting. The ride over his prostate made Ronnie arch his back and clench his teeth. He didn’t know if it was his reaction to Heath’s actions, but Heath kicked it into overdrive, piston-fucking Ronnie to heaven. 184

A Man’s Best Friend Ronnie couldn’t prevent his gasps as the pleasure rose to perfection. “Heath! Agh!” “Stop?” “No! Harder!” Heath’s sweat dripped onto Ronnie’s stomach as he worked like a fiend to get them both off. Throbbing began in Heath’s cock as he came inside Ronnie’s body. “Fuck! Ron! Holy shit.” Heath hammered wildly against Ronnie, finally slowing down and choking for air. Ronnie opened his eyes and found Heath staring at their connection. A string of pre-cum oozed out of Ronnie’s slit. With his dick still inside Ronnie, Heath propped himself up on one arm and jacked Ronnie off. “Yes.” Ronnie closed his eyes again and felt Heath’s hot cock slipping in and out slowly as Heath fisted him. Ronnie began bucking it was so intense. A plethora of profanities emerged from him before he could prevent it. His cum spattered his chest, his neck and under his chin. “Ah! Jesus! Heath!” Heath milked Ronnie’s cock gently. Then he held the rubber as he pulled out. After dropping it on the floor, Heath collapsed on top of Ronnie and licked the sweat and cum off his neck. Ronnie pushed his hips into Heath’s. “Mm, that was incredible.” He rubbed their dicks together. Heath obviously enjoyed the friction as well, gliding their slick genitals over each other. “See? Nothing to worry about.” “That’s because I can’t think anymore. My brain went to my cock.” Ronnie closed his eyes and pressed harder into Heath. “Stop or I’ll fuck you again.” 185

G.A. Hauser Ronnie laughed. Heath rolled next to him, wiping the perspiration off his face. Ronnie got to his elbows to admire their nude bodies. “I love the look of that.” He pointed to their torsos side by side. “You have a really big dick.” “Give me a break. It’s the same length as yours.” “You got me in girth.” “Shut up,” Ronnie replied, still laughing. “One of these days I want to watch you jack off.” “You do?” Ronnie tilted his head. “Does that turn you on?” “Oh, God, yes.” “You’re full of surprises.” Ronnie gave himself a little tug, tantalizing. “Oh, baby.” Heath hissed air between his teeth playfully. Heath touched his face. “I’m not the only one full of surprises.” “What do you mean?” “Why do you act as if a solo performance is something new?” Ronnie widened his eyes in anxiety. “Huh?” “Should we swap stories about our gay porn collection?” For some reason, Heath knowing he watched gay-sex movies made him nervous. “Did I tell you I did?” “No. Forget it.” Heath shook his head, but he was smiling. “Let’s wash up.” After checking the time, Ronnie climbed off the bed behind him. “Yes. I watch gay porn. And I like the way it feels when you’re in me. Or should I say, when you ‘top’ me.” Heath stopped and stared at him. Ronnie gave him his bewildered gaze again. “What?” “Come here.” Heath turned on the water, allowing it to warm up in the small stall. After Ronnie wet down, Heath 186

A Man’s Best Friend climbed in next to him, washing Ronnie lovingly. “What would I ever do without you?” Ronnie laughed shyly. “You probably won’t find out.” “Probably.” Heath smiled. “Now there’s a commitment.” Feeling his cheeks go red, Ronnie tried not to meet his eyes. Carrie showed up by late afternoon and instantly vanished into the bathroom to shower and change clothing. Heath was propped up on the bed flipping channels on the television with the remote control. After Ronnie hung Carrie’s coat up in the wardrobe and rested her suitcase on a stand, he looked at Heath. Heath shut off the TV. “Did you say anything about us to her yet?” “Uh…us?” Ronnie shifted his weight from leg to leg. “Yeah, us. The big bad story?” “Not yet. I haven’t had the chance. She said she felt grimy and wanted a shower.” Ronnie shrugged, sitting on the second bed. “When do you plan on telling her?” “I will. Enough.” Ronnie held up his hand and lowered his head. Heath wanted her to know. He was tired of the game. If she knew and permitted it, he could fondle Ronnie openly. If she knew and hated it, he could fondle Ronnie openly. It was a win/win as far as he was concerned. Having Ronnie choose her over him wasn’t a possibility in his mind. He’d kill her first. Heath could imagine what Ronnie was thinking. What would happen when Carrie found out? Would it gross her out? The explanation revolt her? Leaving Ronnie open to accusations and insults? Heath watched Ronnie’s expression. The internal war was on again. 187

G.A. Hauser Heath recognized that pout instantly. If Ronnie chickened out how was he going to stand Ronnie in her bed every night? That’s what he was headed for. His empty, hers full. Why did he think this would work? Now wait, Sherwood. It’s better than you being home and the two of them here together. Don’t forget that. Besides, I’ll make sure she drinks so much she’ll pass out, then I’ll screw him. Ronnie stomach hurt. I can’t admit this. Not here. She’s in Rome. She can’t get in her car and drive off. She’ll scream at me. She’ll say I used her. That I’m nasty. I can’t deal with that. I’ll crack. Whose idea was this anyhow? Hell. I’ve found hell. He grimaced. You’re a fucking queer, Caruso. Admit it to her. Your best friend is gay and you’re not even bi-sexual any longer. He groaned in disgust at the thought. Christ, I even make myself sick. And the lies. Too many lies. Mostly to myself. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. The door to the bathroom opened and Carrie emerged in a towel. She walked to her suitcase and opened it. “I’m starved,” she said. “We need to eat.” Ronnie checked to see if Heath was staring at her. He was. If they’re attracted to each other, I’ll die. “Waiting for you,” Heath replied. “It’ll take me two minutes.” She disappeared back into the bathroom. Dizzy from nerves, Ronnie flopped back on the bed. “Why did I come?” “Shut up.” Ronnie knew he deserved that. He was sick of his whining as well. He covered his face in both hands and developed a 188

A Man’s Best Friend headache he was so anxious. In silence Ronnie and Heath waited for Carrie to finish getting ready. Ronnie had to tell her. Night was approaching. Decisions had to be made. He just wasn’t ready to make them in Italy. No one had anywhere to go to get away to cool off. There was no way to win this. Someone would get hurt. Ronnie knew it would be Carrie. He was a cad, a fiend, a scoundrel. He sucked. “Okay, boys.” She checked the contents of her purse and stood by the wardrobe. “Time to eat?” Ronnie sat up on the bed. “Uh. Hang on. I need to say something first.” “Can we discuss it on the way?” Carrie removed her coat from the closet. “I’m really hungry. I haven’t had a decent meal since morning.” He glanced at Heath. Heath stood and tucked his shirt into his slacks. “No. Wait.” Ronnie scooted to the foot of the bed and touched Carrie’s arm. “It’s about this room. The sleeping arrangements.” Ronnie felt like throwing up. This was so unfair. “What about it?” Carrie crossed her arms. “Two double beds?” “And?” “Where do you think I’m going to sleep?” Ronnie didn’t even want to look at Heath any longer. “Where do you want to sleep, Ronnie?” She appeared so impatient, he expected her to punch him when he admitted it. “With…with…” his voice faded. “With Heath,” she finished his sentence. Ronnie bit his lip in fear. Hell! I’m in HELL! “I know.” She looked devastated. “You…you know?” “What do you take me for? An idiot?” 189

G.A. Hauser Heath cringed. Ronnie caught it out of the corner of his eye. “What do you mean?” Ronnie asked. She knows? “You don’t think I know about you and Heath?” She dropped her purse on the bed. Ronnie stared into her eyes, the impact of it starting to hit him. What the fuck? “Look at you! So shocked.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Why do you think I was so angry the morning after he showed up at your apartment and interrupted our evening together? I knew it then. You can’t hide your feelings for one another.” She took a deep breath and leaned against the wardrobe. “I thought long and hard about this relationship. I knew if I wanted you I had to accept things as they were. To accept Heath. I was willing to do that. But you never admitted it. Never told me the truth.” Her voice broke and she lost the struggle with her tears. “I’m in love with you, willing to love you as you are, and love Heath.” She wiped at her eyes. “And you’re stupid enough to ask me where I expect you to sleep?” Ronnie was stunned and embarrassed for being such a complete moron. “Fuck you. Get over yourself.” She stood up. “I need food.” She grabbed her purse and left the room, slamming the door. Ronnie’s head ached so badly he couldn’t see straight. When he peeked over, Heath was hiding his face in his hands. It felt as if he couldn’t speak. He may have made a couple of choking noises, he didn’t know. It all happened too quickly for his dull mind. He couldn’t catch up to her actions or words. He was left behind in a thick fog bank. The only thing clear in his head was pain, so sharp it was blinding. “I’m such a dickhead.” Ronnie hated himself. “She’ll come back. She just needs to cool down.” Heath shifted to the second bed and touched his shoulder. “You look 190

A Man’s Best Friend terrible.” “My head is killing me.” Heath vanished into the bathroom and emerged with a bottle of aspirins. He handed Ronnie a glass of water and waited while Ronnie swallowed them. Once Heath took the glass and set it aside, he reclined behind Ronnie and rubbed his shoulders. “I feel so guilty.” “Look. She’s not stupid.” Heath squeezed Ronnie’s neck. “But…she’s willing to accept me loving you? I don’t get it.” “She loves you.” “Why? I’m the biggest ass on the planet.” Ronnie moaned. “So? We know that and love you anyway.” Turning over his shoulder to catch Heath’s smile, Ronnie shook his head. It was growing late. Carrie had still not returned to the hotel. After doing a cursory search of the nearby shops and restaurants, Ronnie was growing upset. “Heath, what if something happened to her?” “She’s been here before. She knows this area.” Ronnie removed his mobile phone from his pocket. He’d already left messages on her voicemail. She wasn’t picking up. He tried once more. This time he didn’t leave a message. “Shit.” “Please don’t worry.” Heath rubbed the nape of Ronnie’s neck. “How can I not? A twenty-four year old woman, all alone in Rome at night? Heath, I’m scared to death for her.” “Didn’t she mention she had a step-brother in school here?” Heath drew Ronnie out of the pedestrian traffic, standing by a wall in the cold wind. 191

G.A. Hauser “Yes!” A light came on in Ronnie’s head. “She told me it was the Castel Sant’Angelo Scuola Ragazi, near Vatican City.” Ronnie checked his watch. “You think she’s with him?” Heath shrugged. “If I had to wager? Yes.” The relief Ronnie felt was enormous. “My God. If she’s with her step-brother, I can deal with it. At least she’s not alone wandering the streets.” “No. She wouldn’t be doing that. She’s way too sensible.” “Kiss me.” Ronnie stared into Heath’s dark eyes. Heath glanced around the area quickly, then drew Ronnie into his arms, meeting his lips. “Thank you. I forgot about him completely.” Ronnie caressed Heath’s hair. “That must be where she went.” “Come on. Let’s head back to the hotel. It’s cold and I’m dead on my feet.” He held Ronnie’s hand. She’s safe. She must be with her brother. Why didn’t I think of that? Ronnie looked at Heath and tightened his grip on his hand. “Thank you.” “Yes. You will.” Heath’s eye twinkled mischievously. “Grrr…” Ronnie felt his cock twitch at the thought. Heath opened the door to their room and kicked off his shoes, obviously intent on getting naked. Though Ronnie was eager to make love, he was preoccupied with Carrie. Try as he might, he didn’t understand how she could know he was gay and still attempt a relationship. And realizing he and Heath would sleep in the bed together next to her? Huh? That shocked him. “Ronnie?” “Hmm?” Ronnie came back to reality, seeing Heath naked on the bed, a condom and the lubrication next to him. “You up for it?” “Yes!” Ronnie undressed, tossing his clothing on the 192

A Man’s Best Friend second bed. He crawled over the covers, lying down beside Heath. Ronnie smoothed his hand up Heath’s arm to his neck. “It’s just a little bit of an overload.” “Screw first, talk later?” Smiling, Ronnie said, “Kiss me, babe.” Heath landed on him, pinning him to the bed. Grabbing Ronnie’s wrists, Heath raised them over Ronnie’s head, grinding his crotch against his. Ronnie moaned and relaxed under him. Sublime. There was nothing better than Heath Sherwood’s sexual passion and being his bitch. As Heath ran kisses down Ronnie’s throat, sternum and chest, Ronnie began squirming on the bed. Focus on Heath, don’t worry about Carrie. Feel his lips, his tongue. Ohhh, yes. Soft feather-kisses ran down Ronnie’s torso to his treasure trail. His erection bumped Heath under Heath’s jaw. When Heath enveloped it, Ronnie spread his legs and humped in reflex. “Christ. Nothing feels as good as your body against mine. Your mouth on me. Heath, holy shit.” “Mm…” Heath hummed as he sucked. Ronnie watched Heath as he held his cock between his lips and reached for the lubrication simultaneously. Heath managed to coat his fingers while still connected to his dick. Having a feeling he was in for a primo blowjob, Ronnie settled back on the pillows and straddled, knees bent, digging his hands through Heath’s brown hair. Heath used his slick fingers to coat Ronnie’s ass, boldly pushing two inside. The rush to Ronnie’s cock made him tense his back and gasp. It appeared to excite Heath as well, because he got to his knees and sucked and finger-fucked Ronnie with enthusiasm. Heath touched him in all the right spots, his ass, his balls, his cock; the sucking getting stronger, faster, the penetration and friction on his prostate was intense. “Heath! Christ-Almighty!” 193

G.A. Hauser Revving up even higher, Heath moaned and groaned as if he were the one about to come. “Fuck!” Ronnie shouted so loudly he remembered he wasn’t at Heath’s house and bit his lip. The orgasm cascaded over his balls and ass, rushing through his cock and out, into Heath’s hot mouth. Feeling as if he were having a seizure, Ronnie bucked into that hot sucking hole and came, clenching his teeth, fists and eyelids at the strength of the climax. While he recovered, rocking and moaning from the aftershocks, Heath jammed his sheathed cock in. Ronnie lay back, slack and spent as Heath’s cock danced inside him. It took nothing. A dozen thrusts and Heath threw back his head and came, his dick pulsating like a beating heart. Ronnie watched him in awe. The scent of sex and sweat made his head swim. And looking at Heath’s gorgeous face in ecstasy was bliss. Heath collapsed on top of him, his dick slipping out of Ronnie’s ass. As Heath labored for air, Ronnie massaged his back, feeling their dewy skin seal tightly together. “I don’t know what I love more,” Heath gasped between breaths. “Fucking you, or just you.” “Both.” Ronnie smiled, holding him tight.

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Chapter 21 Through a haze of morning light, Ronnie heard noise. He forced his eyes to open and found Carrie entering the room. He was naked in bed with Heath. Oh my God! “Hi.” Carrie removed her coat and placed her purse on a chair. Ronnie flinched in terror. Heath, obviously awake, held him steady. She sat on the bed near them. “I’m sorry. Forgive me.” Suddenly Ronnie couldn’t breathe. He felt Heath’s nude body surrounding him, his hands clamped around him, preventing him from bolting. “Uh, uh,” Ronnie stammered, having no skills to cope with the situation. “Are you all right?” Heath asked. “Yes. Now. I never should have run off like that.” She grabbed Ronnie’s leg through the blanket. “Are you okay, sweetie?” “Uh …I…I…” Ronnie had nowhere to hide. “We were worried about you. You didn’t answer our calls.” Heath smoothed his hand over Ronnie’s naked shoulder. “I know. I’m sorry.” She scooted closer. Ronnie had no idea what to do or say. He was in bed with Heath in front of Carrie. This is impossible. Carrie giggled. “Wow. Do I want to get naked and squirm between the two of you!” She rubbed Ronnie’s thigh. “But I can see Ronnie is already as white as a ghost. So that won’t go over big, eh, Heath?”

G.A. Hauser Heath leaned his head against Ronnie’s shoulder. “Is he gorgeous, or what?” Carrie lay across both their legs and propped her chin in her hand. “Heath, he’s too good to be true.” Blinking in surprise, Ronnie started laughing. “This is too much. Are you kidding me? You’re really okay with me and Heath?” “Sure.” Carrie shrugged. “Why?” Ronnie asked. “I like it. I like the fact that you touch each other.” Ronnie choked. Heath broke up with laughter. “Man, are you in trouble now.” Heath elbowed him. Ronnie gasped. “I can’t believe any of this.” He touched Carrie’s arm. “I feel like I owe you an apology. I’m so sorry, Carrie.” “Why? You never led me on.” “I did. Come on. You thought we were a couple.” “In the beginning. But when you stopped touching me sexually, and were with Heath all the time, it was pretty obvious.” “Ouch?” Ronnie asked playfully. “Did I just get insulted?” “No!” Heath whacked him on the shoulder. “Mm.” Carrie squirmed on the bed against them, positioning herself horizontally so she lay on top of their lower half. “Did ya make love last night?” Heath broke up with laughter again. “I love this!” “I have a very strange life,” Ronnie said. “Can I watch next time?” Ronnie coughed as Heath roared with hilarity. “Are you for real?” Ronnie asked. She sniffed the blankets. “Uh huh…” Staring at Heath, stunned, Ronnie never would have guessed Carrie’s reaction. He was speechless. 196

A Man’s Best Friend “Kiss me,” Heath dared. “Yeah. Kiss him,” Carrie echoed. About to shake his head and refuse, Ronnie’s face was gripped and turned to Heath. He grunted as Heath kissed him, trying to see Carrie’s expression as he did. She was on fire. Ronnie backed Heath off and gasped for breath. “Please tell me this isn’t real.” Carrie stared down at the covers. “Nice! Two erections! Now I’m wet.” “Holy shit!” Ronnie said. “And I was terrified you’d think I was perverted!” “Nah. It’s the other way around,” Carrie replied, her hand closing in on touching one of their cocks. “My, oh my, Ms. Archer,” Heath said, “Aren’t you a kick in the butt.” “Yup. I am.” She grinned. “Come on. The coffee is fabulous at the continental breakfast downstairs.” Heath showed no modesty, climbing out of bed and heading to the shower. Ronnie stared at his gorgeous shape, noticing Carrie doing the same. “I don’t like this!” Ronnie announced, loud enough for Heath to hear. He heard Heath laugh as he shut the bathroom door. “What don’t you like? Hmm?” Carrie took Heath’s spot, snuggling next to Ronnie. Her index finger ran down his shoulder to his chest and circled his nipple. “I really don’t get it.” Ronnie didn’t react to her caress. “I thought you’d get angry.” “I was. I’m not anymore.” “You got over it last night?” “No. I got over it the minute I realized you and Heath were lovers. Ages ago.” “Why?” Carrie leaned back and met Ronnie’s gaze. “Why?” 197

G.A. Hauser Hearing the shower start in the bathroom, Ronnie rubbed his eyes tiredly, trying to understand. “Ronnie,” Carrie whispered, kissing his shoulder. “I love you.” “But…” Ronnie choked up. “I can’t love you the way you want me to.” “How do you know?” “I just know.” “You’re talking sexually?” Ronnie opened his mouth and shut it, thinking it out first. “Isn’t that what we’re talking about?” “Not necessarily.” He ran his fingers through his hair in a gesture of bewilderment. “I’m lost.” “Look at me.” Ronnie dropped his arms to his lap and did. “I don’t want a man that I have to clean up after, do their laundry, cook for, give up my social life, my friends, my independence…” When she reached for Ronnie’s hand he clasped hers. “I’ve dated men before, Ronnie,” she said, “Who become possessive of me. They strangle me with their demands and expectations.” He waited as she gathered her thoughts. “I didn’t like it. I like to be free. I don’t want to be chained down by some guy who sits in front of the TV while I do everything. Been there, done that. Won’t do it again.” “Okay.” He nodded. He understood her so far. “I do want sex.” The catch. Knew it. He bit his lip. “But having no strings attached affairs is easy.” “Huh?” He blinked. “You know. Finding a guy to just screw. There are plenty 198

A Man’s Best Friend of them.” “You fuck around?” “I have a ‘fuck-buddy’.” He flinched. He was jealous and knew he had no right to be. “You do?” She nodded. “Do you love him?” “No. He’s just a great friend. We don’t do anything else together.” The shower stopped and Ronnie paused to listen. When he met Carrie’s eyes he asked, “What are you getting out of the relationship with me?” She shifted to sit on his lap, cupping his face. “I think you’re wonderful.” “Why? I haven’t been wonderful to you.” She held up her opal necklace. “You have. Not only are you sweet, you’re great to be around, to talk to. I can say anything to you.” “Now I feel like your brother.” He wondered when Heath returned what he’d think of the way they were sitting. “You’re better than a brother. I think of you when I masturbate.” He choked. “You and Heath making love. Mm!” She wiggled on his lap. As he tried to recover from the idea, she whispered, “Let me watch.” In reaction he shook his head adamantly. “Which one of you is the top?” She licked Ronnie’s lower lip. The bathroom door opened and Heath emerged, a towel wrapped around his waist. Just when Ronnie thought Heath would be angry, Carrie said, “Heath tops.” “Damn right.” Heath tossed the towel on the floor. 199

G.A. Hauser “Nice!” Carrie admired his erection. “Heath!” Ronnie made a move to get out of bed, intending on covering him up. Carrie gave up her spot and waved Heath over. “I thought we were going to eat breakfast.” Ronnie broke out into a nervous sweat. As Heath climbed on the bed, Ronnie bolted out of it, covering his crotch and backing to the bathroom. “You’re both insane. I can’t believe this.” “Go shower.” Heath waved him away. Ronnie caught Heath and Carrie exchanging smiles and closed himself into the steamy room, shaking like a leaf. After strong espresso coffee and pastries for breakfast, Ronnie followed Carrie into the cool morning air as she waited for their taxi. Heath asked, “Why is your step-brother in school here?” “He wants to be here.” Carrie flagged down the cab and opened the back door. Ronnie sat in the middle of the two of them while Carrie instructed the driver on their destination. After a few minutes of driving, the driver pulled over and Carrie pointed in excitement. “There he is!” She scrambled out of the backseat and raced to the young man standing on the sidewalk. Ronnie paid the fare and he and Heath exited the cab, waiting for an introduction. Ahsan extended his hand to Ronnie as he was introduced, “Molto lieto, Signore.” Carrie giggled. “You’ll get a lot further using English.” She pinched Ahsan’s arm and he flinched, then smiled at her. Ahsan was tall and lean, still filling out into a man. His hair was jet black and long, to his shoulders, his eyes were as dark as 200

A Man’s Best Friend his hair and a little too large for his angular face. He gave Ronnie the impression of marble, clear and hard. He was beautiful and moved with the grace of a dancer, slow and deliberate. He didn’t smile when he caught Ronnie’s eye. He spoke his English with a very heavy accent. Suddenly Ronnie felt his heart jolt at a memory. The lovely blonde and the dark-skinned boy, together, like when he’d first seen them in a bar in Seattle. He strained to recall all he could about that night and the possessive look he was shot with after his admiration of the pretty blonde. The glare of a possessive step-brother? As Carrie and Ahsan walked, elbows hooked, down the street, Ronnie tried to decide if there was something there, or he was imagining things. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” Heath said. “Okay if we check out the Vatican?” Carrie asked, turning around. “Sounds good.” Heath nodded and she continued walking. Ronnie met Ahsan’s dark eyes for a moment. He didn’t know what Ahsan thought or if he remembered seeing him before. They stood in line in the enormous courtyard to pay admission to see the inside of the Sistine Chapel. “Heath,” Ronnie hissed and glanced at Carrie. She was oblivious, still chatting away to her step-brother. “Listen to me for a second, okay? I’ve seen him before.” “Seen who before?” Heath mocked his urgent tone, wrapping his arm around Ronnie’s waist. Ronnie nudged him with his elbow. “Be serious. Ahsan. Can you remember me telling you about that blonde in the bar with the young boy?” “No, what bar?” He leaned closer. “You remember that crazy night at your party in October?” Ronnie kept his eye on Carrie nervously. 201

G.A. Hauser “I can’t remember, Ronnie, I’m sorry. What about it?” “You can’t remember? That was the night you first seduced me, you fucker. Remember that?” He found an elderly couple staring at him and lowered his voice. “Look, I was walking down the stairs after we first went up to your room. I started telling you about this blonde I saw at the bar near my office. You weren’t listening to me at all that night, were you?” “Okay, I’m sorry. I had other things on my mind. Why do you want me to remember so badly?” “That night I suspected they were more than just friends. I told you the way he looked at me.” “How did he look at you?” “Heath, damn it, you’re hopeless.” “Why are you trying to see something that’s not there? They aren’t even really step-brother and sister. He’s adopted. What more do you want?” “I don’t know. There’s something else going on. I can remember it clearly. He glared at me. I looked at her and he snarled. Would a brother do that? Would you glare at another man for looking at your sister?” Heath thought about it. “I suppose not.” “I can’t see siblings growing angry over that.” “Ronnie, he’s not your average sibling. First of all, he’s adopted, secondly, he wasn’t born in the US. Maybe different cultures behave differently with family.” “I guess you’re right. I don’t know why I’m thinking these crazy thoughts.” They advanced slowly in line. “Because you’re jealous.” He squeezed Ronnie closer. “I’m not jealous. Give me more credit than that. Forget it. I’m just insane, that’s all. Never mind.” “Admitting it is the first step to curing it, my love.” He laughed at his own wit as Ronnie grumbled under his breath. “Ronnie, lighten up.” Heath massaged Ronnie’s backside. 202

A Man’s Best Friend “I know what you need,” he purred. Ronnie heard the old woman exclaim, “Oh!” in horror. Rubbing his face tiredly, Ronnie sighed, “Hell. I’ve found hell.” “You’re such a drama queen.” Heath nudged him. “Come on, our turn to buy a ticket.” Ronnie followed him in a fog. His head was filled with questions and unreasonable answers. Ronnie was so distracted he didn’t even pay attention while they were on a tour. He heard Heath say, “I thought the Sistine Chapel was bigger.” Looking up, Ronnie admired the wonderful Michelangelo mural that he had seen in books so many times before. “Where did Carrie go?” “Probably out of the room. It’s packed in here and she’s seen it all before.” “Heath, I’m not enjoying this anymore.” “Let’s leave.” “We need to find them first.” Heath held his hand and escorted Ronnie to the next labyrinth of treasure filled rooms and gawking tourists. “There they are.” Ronnie tried to release his hand from Heath’s grip, but Heath held tight. “We’re bored. We’re finding our way out.” “Okay.” Carrie shrugged. Ronnie noticed Ahsan’s gaze dart to their connection. Ronnie had no idea if Carrie had told him she’s ‘dating’ a gay man. “See you at the hotel later?” Heath asked. Ronnie checked his watch. It was still before noon. Hotel later? He was about to object and suggest they spend more time together, when Heath began dragging him out of the room. 203

G.A. Hauser “Bye!” Carrie waved, smiling as Ahsan narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. “Heath.” Ronnie tried to slow him down. “That’s it? You don’t want to sightsee with them anymore?” “Nope.” Once they managed to find an exit down the spiral ramp back to the courtyard in St Peter’s Square, Heath upped his pace. “Whoa!” Ronnie dug in his heels. “Where are we going?” “The hotel.” “You sure? You don’t want to see the Colosseum or the Trevi Fountain or something?” “Later.” Heath flagged a taxi down. “You can fuck me at home.” “I want to fuck you in Rome. Carrie’s busy. Perfect timing.” Heath paused as he opened the back door to a waiting cab. “Unless you want to put on a show for her.” “Ack!” Ronnie grabbed his chest comically. “Yeah. I figured. Get in.” Heath climbed into the back seat behind him, closed the door and said, “Hotel Virgilio,” to the driver. “I should be enjoying this trip.” Ronnie stared out of the window. “I’ve never been to Italy, never gone anywhere outside the States, and now I’m having a shitty time.” “What do you want to do?” Heath put his arm around Ronnie’s shoulder, hugging him. “I don’t know.” Ronnie bit his lip and stared at the buildings as they passed. Have my cake and eat it. Heath waited for Ronnie as he counted out his euros for the driver. They entered the hotel lobby and greeted the woman behind the desk as they passed, standing at the elevator. Heath knew Ronnie was jealous of Ahsan. All that talk 204

A Man’s Best Friend about remembering Carrie at a bar in Seattle with him. What was the point of that? So? Carrie and Ahsan had a drink together. Did that mean they were having an illicit affair? And if they were? Who cares? Ronnie’s not screwing her. Carrie needed to get it from somewhere. They rode up to the second floor in silence. Heath opened the door and waited, gesturing for Ronnie to enter first. He took off his jacket and shoes, staring at Ronnie as he appeared to contemplate the tiny room. “What if she brings him back for the night?” “What if?” Heath took off his shirt, tossing it on the chair. “She’ll screw him in that bed.” Ronnie pointed. “And I’ll screw you in this one.” Heath stripped down to his briefs and approached him. “Are you unhappy with our relationship?” “No.” “But?” Heath helped Ronnie off with his jacket. “But. I want children.” “I know. I’ve heard it a million times. What makes you think Carrie’s going to give them to you?” Heath untucked Ronnie’s shirt and lifted it over his head. “She won’t.” “Stop behaving like a baby.” “Fuck you.” “Now you’re talking.” Heath grinned, toppling Ronnie back to the mattress behind him. “Take this off.” Heath tugged on Ronnie’s pants as he removed his shoes and socks. Ronnie opened his zipper and wriggled the slacks down his hips. Heath gave him a hand, stripping off all of Ronnie’s attire. “Better.” He parted Ronnie’s knees and rubbed his face on his soft balls and cock. Ronnie moaned sensually. “Christ, you smell nice.” Heath inhaled and pushed his lips 205

G.A. Hauser into Ronnie’s sack. Once he settled down between Ronnie’s legs, he began giving him a tongue bath. Ronnie’s body went limp, his legs splayed wide. Heath knew Carrie was tormenting Ronnie. But what were her intentions once he was jealous? Make Ronnie so upset he gives her a commitment? Will he? As Ronnie’s cock engorged with the teasing, Heath put those intruding thoughts out of his mind. If he thought about it, he’d hate her. “Yes. Just fuck me.” Screw Carrie. I don’t care what she does, do I? She just spent a half hour telling me she can’t stand guys possessing her. Well? Hello? I want to be possessed. “Take me.” “My pleasure.” Heath raced to the bathroom, returning with two items. He knelt on the bed and rolled a condom on before he prepared Ronnie for the act. So what if she and Ahsan have a secret affair? What’s it got to do with me? I can’t expect her to be celibate just because I’m not willing to screw her. “Ah!” Ronnie was jolted out of his thoughts. Heath thrust in aggressively, nailing Ronnie to the bed. The frame banged against the wall loudly. Ronnie clenched his teeth as Heath showed him exactly who possessed whom. As Heath hammered him, hissing and grunting like a rutting bull, Heath grabbed Ronnie’s cock and jacked it off. It was rougher than usual. Ronnie knew why. Heath wanted him to be apathetic to Carrie’s relationships, not jealous. Jealousy meant he cared too much. “Fuck!” “Too hard?” Heath paused. “No. Go.” Ronnie knew Heath wanted it this way. Heath slowed down regardless of Ronnie’s answer. It 206

A Man’s Best Friend seemed neither of them could come. After shifting positions, increasing speed, depth, whispering dirty words…nothing. “Fuck!” In rage, Heath pulled out and stared down at himself. “Heath. Keep going.” Ronnie reached out to him anxiously. Heath didn’t reply, removing the condom and heading to the bathroom. Ronnie burrowed under the pillows, listening to Heath wash up. He was lost in thought until Heath stroked his back lightly, joining him on the bed once more. “Get over here.” Ronnie hauled Heath so he was lying beside him. “I’m sorry. You want me to suck you off?” “In a minute.” Ronnie wrapped his legs around Heath’s. “I think I figured some of this out. Want to hear?” “Please.” Ronnie dragged him as close as he could, sealing their naked skin. Heath caressed him as he spoke. “The three of us are not the real issue here. I mean, me, you, and Carrie. She said she’s known about us. And I knew she did. She never said anything to me directly, but the woman is very bright.” Ronnie heard Heath sigh before he continued. “So, that’s not the problem. The problem is you and how you feel about Carrie and Ahsan. I think she and Ahsan are close. Are they lovers? Who knows? But he’s here. In Rome, not Seattle. I just don’t think he’s a threat to you. He’s in his teens, and a meaningless fling. So, if you can get over that, then our problem is mostly solved.” “Mostly.” “Well, for now. I’m not going to start projecting on our dynamic relationship into the future. But, I think we can share you successfully, if it’s the way it is now.” Ronnie’s eyes sprang open and he leaned up to see 207

G.A. Hauser Heath’s. “Yes, that’s what we’ve been doing since you met her.” Ronnie swallowed. “Ouch. It sounds so immoral put that way. I’m not having sex with you both.” “No, but you’re involved with each of us on a deep level. Heath said, “You’re like a little child in some ways. I can’t tell you how much I love that innocence in you. Oh, now you’re pouting. Come over here.” Heath scooted him up higher on his chest. “Do you have any clue how much I adore you?” Heath licked Ronnie’s mouth. Ronnie giggled at the tickle. They squirmed and laughed in delight together. “In bed again?” Carrie said as she opened the door. “You guys are like rabbits.” “Where’s your brother?” Heath asked. Ronnie wondered how Heath handled it. He didn’t even flinch. “I said we’d call him if we wanted to do anything with him later.” She hung up her coat and rubbed her hands together. Ronnie couldn’t get comfortable with her seeing Heath in bed with him. He tried to sit up, but couldn’t. “We need to get dressed, Heath. Come on. I can’t lay naked like this with you.” “Why not?” Heath asked. “Yeah. Why not?” She scooted closer as Heath kissed Ronnie’s face. “What do you want to do tonight? Hmmm?” “Anything you desire.” Heath nibbled Ronnie’s earlobe. Ronnie watched Carrie’s eyes. Jesus. This fascinated her. Heath held Ronnie’s face in his hands and ate hungrily at his mouth. Ronnie was dying. He tried to push away gently, but couldn’t. Carrie leaned against him as Heath as the same. Ronnie could feel Carrie ogling the contact between them. When he managed to turn away from Heath with a gasp Carrie lunged for 208

A Man’s Best Friend Ronnie’s mouth, kissing him. “Aaaugh!” Ronnie tumbled off the bed in panic. Both Heath and Carrie were grinning at him wickedly. “Oh, no way. I can’t touch you with Carrie staring. Please.” He felt his heart racing. “You’ll get used to it.” Heath laughed and climbed off the bed, dressing. “Yeah,” Carrie echoed, “You’ll get used to it.” She licked her lips as she gave Ronnie’s nakedness a once over. “If you don’t get dressed you’re tempting fate,” Heath warned him. “You’d better get clothing on, Ronnie. Seeing you naked is very tempting.” She leaned on Heath and mimicked his posture. “I’ll crack. You have to control yourselves.” Ronnie pointed at them. “Back.” He made his fingers a cross. “I’m headed to the bathroom.” He hit the wall as he backed up and then found the open door. When he closed himself inside he found his expression in the mirror. He was pale. “This is nuts!” Then slowly, he smiled at his reflection. “Or perfection.”

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Chapter Twenty-two Before dinner they managed to go the Roman Colosseum. Walking in the brisk air, they rounded a corner and there it stood. Ronnie groaned in awe at the size of it. They were drawn to it like moths to a flame. There in the middle of a modern world was the massive structure of crumbling columns. It stood like out of the surroundings as if it had burst through the earth’s crust when it had been made, giant, intolerant to the changes around it. The closer Ronnie got to the base, the more monumental it seemed. Ronnie stood at the smooth wall, pressing both hands against it, craning his neck skyward, trying to take in the height and ruined walls. It seemed there was nothing this ancient anywhere else in the world. Ronnie felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck and he could swear he felt vibrations from the surface. They explored what they could. Much of it was roped off for safety. Ronnie paused to gaze across the expanse as tourists circled the many levels. “We think the men of the past were somehow ignorant, less intelligent than modern man. Well, this blows that theory right out of the water.” Heath leaned against Ronnie. “Think of the intrigue,” Carrie whispered, “Gladiators competing in life or death battles.” “Can you imagine living back then?” Ronnie said, “I’d have loved it.” Heath removed his mobile phone and took Ronnie’s photo. “Yes, you would have fit right into the Roman lifestyle,

A Man’s Best Friend Ronnie.” He took another photo. “Take off your clothes.” He gave Heath a wary glance. “Ronnie would have to be Caesar.” Carrie giggled. “Yeah, take off your clothes. Show some skin.” “Down girl,” Ronnie said. “You’re both insane. Not only is it freezing, but aren’t there too many tourists? Get your minds out of the gutter.” “Hail Ronnie!” Heath saluted. “Huh, I kind of like that.” Ronnie smiled and stood tall. “Would I be your queen?” Carrie batted her lashes flirtatiously. “Do Caesars have queens?” Ronnie asked, gazing out at the crumbling arches of the upper level. “I don’t know. I know I’d be your courtesan.” Heath grabbed Ronnie’s ass. “Oh, yes.” Ronnie winked. “One picture with no shirt.” Carrie tugged at Ronnie’s jacket. “What?” He shook his head at her. “No.” Heath massaged Ronnie’s bottom. “Your lover and your comrade on the battlefield.” “No fair. You men get to have all the fun. All we get is pregnant after the battle. By the enemy if you lose, and by you when you celebrate.” “Do you want to get pregnant?” Ronnie asked, figuring he’d throw it out there. Carrie smiled a little too knowingly. “I want a photo of you two.” She reached for Heath’s phone. “Wait. I’ve a better idea.” Heath asked a passerby, “Can you take one of the three of us?” “Sure.” The man nodded, taking the phone. They instinctively placed Ronnie in the middle, arms around his waist. After the photo was taken, they thanked the 211

G.A. Hauser man graciously and he walked away. Heath took a look at it on the tiny monitor. Still holding onto Ronnie, Carrie inhaled his neck. “You smell good.” “He does. He’s intoxicating. You should smell his nuts.” Heath pocketed his phone. “Believe me. I’d like to again.” “Guys.” Ronnie held up his hand. “Don’t go there.” He gestured for them to continue walking, hearing Carrie mutter, “Why can’t I go there?” He glanced at Heath and shook his head at him in annoyance. Heath looked away from his gaze. A pizzeria within walking distance of their hotel looked inviting. A soccer match on a television screen had the locals cheering or booing loudly over their meals. Heath hadn’t struggled this much with his insecurities since Ronnie first met Carrie a month ago, but suddenly, the baby issue was rearing its ugly head again. Heath needed to talk to Ronnie about surrogacy but hadn’t had a chance. And why would Ronnie want to do that when a baby-maker was in their presence? If Heath was honest with himself, he wasn’t the paternal kind. Children didn’t interest him. That was a point for Ms. Archer’s side. Once they were seated at a tiny table for four, Heath perused the menu and heard Carrie say, “I got a call from my boss and I have to cut my trip short.” Heath perked up and looked at Ronnie’s reaction. “You do? How short?” Ronnie asked. “One day. I have to go home in the morning.” “What?” Ronnie clasped Carrie’s hand. Heath winced at their contact. 212

A Man’s Best Friend “Yeah, they want me involved in the negotiations of the merger since I was the one who came out here with the group. You know.” She shrugged. Ronnie gave Heath an imploring glance. “You want to go?” Heath asked, figuring he did. “I’ll stay if you want to.” Great. Make me the bad guy. Heath wanted to explore Rome alone with Ronnie. They only had a one more day until they were scheduled to go home. And Heath knew after that, Ronnie was back at work, back to his old apartment? They hadn’t discussed that either. “Can I get you a drink?” the waiter asked in English. “Red wine, please?” Carrie replied. “Sounds good,” Ronnie said. Heath nodded in agreement. When the waiter left, Ronnie repeated, “Heath?” With Carrie giving him a look that he could not interpret easily, one that was hostile and jealous or hurt, Heath turned the decision back to Ronnie. He didn’t feel it was his. “I’ll do whatever you guys want.” “Do you want us to go back to Seattle with you?” Ronnie kept rubbing the back of Carrie’s hand. Heath was about to swat it off. “Yes. But I feel like crap for asking you to cut your trip short.” “We’ll go back. I feel worse staying here when you have to leave. After all, this was your idea, you planned it.” Heath got upset and fought with his emotions. Throw in the towel Sherwood. He’ll never commit to you completely. “Good. Thanks, guys.” Carrie appeared elated. Heath knew it was yet another victory for her side. A cheer rose up from the crowd at a goal for Roma’s soccer team. The waiter returned with a carafe of red wine and 213

G.A. Hauser asked if they were ready to order. Once they requested pizza in the colors of the Italian flag; white ricotta cheese, red sauce, and green pesto, Heath sipped his wine, trying not to feel betrayed. “Let’s just make the best of our last night then.” Carrie raised her glass in a toast. Heath barely acknowledged the gesture, avoiding Ronnie’s look of concern. They walked back to the hotel, Carrie attached to Ronnie’s elbow and Heath walking behind with a chip on his shoulder. Once inside their room, Carrie took off her coat and lay her suitcase on the bed to repack and get her things in order. “I’ll call the airline.” Ronnie searched through his carryon for paperwork. Heath took off his new leather jacket, kicked off his shoes and rested on the bed. With his hands behind his head, he was thinking and trying not to think, watching the two of them. Are they a couple or aren’t they? Sometimes Carrie and Ronnie acted like they were, but was their relationship truly sexless? That didn’t necessarily mean it was meaningless. “Yes…I’d like to reschedule airline tickets please.” Ronnie glanced at Heath, only to turn his back on him as he spoke on the phone. You know I’m pissed. Face it, Caruso, you know I’m upset and you don’t care. Heath felt claustrophobic in that room. He went to the only refuge in the small space. The bathroom. Closing the door, he leaned his hands on the sink and stared at his face in the mirror. “I can’t do this. I have to find a man who doesn’t want kids…and doesn’t have bi-tendencies. This is killing me.” The only problem was he loved Ronnie. Way too much. Ronnie knew Heath was angry. He just didn’t know what 214

A Man’s Best Friend to do for the best. Carrie planned their trip. He felt responsible for her. Rock-hard place. Hell. I’m in hell! Having changed their flight successfully, Ronnie pocketed his mobile phone and repacked his own bag, now that Carrie had finished. Heath returned, appearing worn out and rejected. “You okay, babe?” “Fine.” “I got us a flight for tomorrow morning.” “Goody.” “Heath.” Ronnie softened his tone. Guilt surfaced. “We can plan another trip, Heath. Don’t worry,” Carrie said casually. Ronnie wished Heath was interested in going home. Though he found his short stay in Rome interesting, with the death of his father, the time away from his apartment and work, Ronnie continued to feel out of it. Life wasn’t normal. He liked routine. Nothing about his present state was making him clearheaded. He packed what he could and placed his suitcase on the floor, next to Carrie’s. “Do you want me to get you packed?” “I’ll do it later.” Heath picked up the television remote, dropped heavily on the bed, turning the TV set on with the volume muted. Ronnie packed Heath’s clothing for him anyway. Carrie sat next to Heath on the bed, looking at the screen as he flipped channels. Other than their toiletries, Ronnie had them both ready to go. When he straightened his back he found Heath and Carrie staring at him. Carrie scooted over, patting the spot between her and Heath on the double bed. “I’ll sit there.” Ronnie pointed to the second one. 215

G.A. Hauser “No. Here,” she insisted. Heath made a move to get up. Carrie grabbed his wrist and held him in place. Hating this situation, Ronnie crawled on the bed and wedged between the two, fitting tightly, shoulder to shoulder. “Anything on?” “No.” Heath shut off the television, placing the remote on the table next to him. Carrie leaned for a sniff of Ronnie. “Are you wearing cologne?” “No.” “Take off your shirt.” “Carrie,” Ronnie moaned. “Come on. We’re inside, not in public. Strip.” She raised his shirt up his body. Heath was staring, not saying a word. “Leave me alone. No.” Ronnie fought to keep covered. Carrie stuck her nose into Ronnie’s armpit. “Yum.” She aggressively pulled his shirt up. “Fine. Here!” Ronnie took off his shirt and gave it to Carrie. Instantly she brought it to her nose to inhale. “Jesus, now I want to suck your nipples,” Heath whispered. Ronnie grabbed a pillow from behind them and covered himself. Heath inhaled him and licked Ronnie’s neck. “I’m surrounded by sex fiends,” Ronnie said. Wanting to change the subject as he became the meat in a bi-sandwich, Ronnie asked, “Is your step-brother coming back too?” Carrie sat up with a jolt. Heath chuckled. “No.” Carrie’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Okay,” Ronnie said, “Tell me what’s going on with Ahsan. You guys are more than just adopted-siblings, right?” “No.” 216

A Man’s Best Friend Carrie wasn’t a very good liar. Ronnie saw right through her. “Fine. Don’t tell me. I can guess.” “Ron!” She acted insulted. “Incest is best.” Heath spider-walked his fingers up Ronnie’s thigh towards his crotch. It appeared seeing Carrie squirm agreed with Heath. His mood improved instantly. “About Ahsan?” Ronnie repeated. “Story time’s over. Bye now.” Carrie tried to escape, though where she intended to go in a room the size of a closet was beyond Ronnie. He tugged her back by her elbow. “Sit. Spill.” She was about to protest when she spotted Heath’s hand massaging Ronnie’s inner thigh. “Don’t get hypnotized.” Ronnie waved his hand in front of her gaze. “Talk to me, woman.” A deep sigh preceded her reply. “Fine. But it’s no big deal.” “That’s what I want to hear.” Ronnie gripped Heath’s hand as his fingers snuck under the edge of the pillow he was holding to his dick. “Behave.” “Never.” Heath relaxed against the pillow on Ronnie’s chest. “Ya wanna hear this crap or what?” “What…” Heath teased. “No. Go ahead. I’m fascinated with illicit affairs.” Carrie groaned, rolling her eyes. “When my mom gave birth to me she had some complications and had to have a hysterectomy after. My dad wanted a son so they checked into adopting. When he heard how long it would take to get a baby from the States he freaked, so Mom suggested a kid from an orphanage from overseas.” “It’s all the rage now.” Ronnie glanced at Heath. Heath appeared to be listening, massaging Ronnie’s thigh as he did. 217

G.A. Hauser “They did it way before Madonna and Angelina.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “Anyway, Mom got in touch with an agency in India and Ahsan was brought into our lives. He was four. I was eleven. I thought I had a living doll. He’s so beautiful, and at six he was unbelievable.” Ronnie showed his teeth. “Are you trying to make me jealous?” “Am I?” she replied. “No,” Heath answered and shoved Ronnie. “Anyway!” Carrie continued, “Ahsan followed me around like a puppy. He was really shy and didn’t speak very good English.” “He still doesn’t,” Ronnie scoffed. “Baby,” Heath teased him. “You’re the baby.” “No, you are.” “Boys,” Carrie scolded. “Let me just get through this.” “Get through what?” Ronnie tried not to sneer. “He got horny and found your room. Get to the fricken punch line.” Heath pinched him. “Ouch!” Ronnie hit him with his pillow. “Guys.” Carrie shook her head. After they settled down Ronnie asked, “Well? Am I right?” “Uh, basically.” She blushed. “End of story.” Ronnie tossed the pillow at the foot of the bed. “Told you they were more than sister and brother.” “You knew that?” Carrie asked. “I remember seeing you two downtown Seattle at the Fox Sports bar. He gave me the dirtiest look when I checked you out.” “I don’t remember that.” “Well, he did. And he wasn’t too happy to share your company earlier today.” Ronnie felt Heath licking his chest. 218

A Man’s Best Friend “Heath. Carrie’s sitting right here.” “Yeah. So? She loves it.” Heath climbed over Ronnie’s body for a better angle, licking his nipple. “Stop. That tickles.” Ronnie wiggled. “Go on,” Heath said to Carrie. After watching Heath’s actions, she seemed flustered. “Was I still talking?” “Forget it.” He attached his mouth to Ronnie’s nipple. As if she just recalled something, she snapped her fingers. “Oh, my dad found out he was infatuated with me. That’s why he’s here in Rome.” “Aha.” Ronnie acknowledged Carrie and then said to Heath, “Careful with your teeth.” Disregarding Ronnie’s comment, Heath used his teeth to hold Ronnie’s nipple between them, watching Ronnie’s face as he did. “My dad merely strongly suspects something may have happened. Ahsan and I haven’t exactly— Christ, I am so wet.” Ronnie and Heath jolted and stared at her. “You are one kinky gal,” Heath laughed. “Well, Jesus, it’s like two Chippendales humping.” She cuddled against them. “More like two porn stars.” Heath licked Ronnie’s sternum. “And you say I’m bad.” She slapped Heath’s butt. “Oh!” Heath shivered comically. Carrie slapped him again. “Oh, baby, spank me.” “Hey, hey,” Ronnie said, not wanting Heath and Carrie to be attracted to each other. “Baby,” she teased. “I’m not a baby.” Ronnie stuck out his bottom lip in exaggeration. “That pout. I want to devour that pout.” Heath went for his 219

G.A. Hauser mouth. Ronnie knew Carrie was staring at them kissing. He could see her smooth her hand over Heath’s solid bottom as Heath dry humped him. “Oh, God, I need a cold shower.” She fanned herself. “I can’t believe we turn her on like this,” Ronnie said. “I knew there was a reason she liked you.” Heath removed his own shirt, tossing it on the second bed. Ronnie’s skin washed into a cool sweat. “I can’t do this.” “Sure you can.” Carrie ran her fingers back through Ronnie’s hair. Heath laid over him again, grinding their crotches together. “I used to be the wild one, remember? Carrie’s topped me.” “Uh uh. You top him, Heath,” Carrie hissed wickedly. “Oh my God! Where did you learn phrases like that, woman?” Ronnie panicked when Heath started kissing his neck. “Be patient, Ms. Archer, I like to savor him.” Heath opened the button of Ronnie’s trousers. “Ah! Guys!” Ronnie wasn’t uncomfortable with Carrie playing voyeur. He seemed to be the only one who wasn’t. Carrie stuck her nose into Heath’s skin. “Man, you both smell like heaven. Testosterone, yummy. Get naked.” Heath sat up, opening his pants, staring at Ronnie. Gasping for air, Ronnie didn’t think he could get an erection under these conditions. What the hell? What the hell? Am I going to let Carrie see Heath fuck me when I couldn’t fuck her? His chest heaving with his nerves, Ronnie peeked at her. She was riveted to Heath’s actions as he removed all his clothing. Seeing Heath’s erection protruding from his body, Ronnie had a feeling performing under pressure wasn’t going to be Heath’s problem. Heath unzipped Ronnie’s pants, getting his fingers into Ronnie’s waistband, ready to tug them off. 220

A Man’s Best Friend He addressed Carrie, “You really want to watch this?” “God yeah.” She squirmed on the bed. “Show time.” Heath yanked Ronnie’s trousers down his legs. “If I let you see this, will you have my baby?” Ronnie covered his crotch, his skin feeling dewy and hot. “Ronnie!” Heath threw his clothing on the floor. “Are you trying to ruin the mood or what?” “That’s negotiable. We’ll discuss it later.” Carrie scooted closer. “Now. If you don’t suck Heath’s cock, I will.” “You will not.” Ronnie grabbed Heath’s dick in both his hands. “Thata’boy!’ Carrie coached. “Now go for it.” Heath grasped Ronnie’s jaw. “Kiss me.” Ronnie whimpered nervously as Heath closed in on his mouth. When their lips met, Ronnie shut his eyes and embraced Heath, feeling Heath’s stiff cock grinding into him. “Dim the light. Please,” Ronnie said between kisses. The bed shifted. Carrie turned on the bathroom light and shut off the bedroom one. She was back in her spot in a second. Though Ronnie knew Carrie was in the room, heard her breathing and rustling, he was thinking about the offer. What was it? She’ll have his baby if they allow her to watch their sexual acts? No. I’m insane. That can’t be what she meant. She’s just a pervert. Or horny, or something, saying anything to get us to have sex for her. Heath took over, like he usually did. While Heath kissed Ronnie, his tongue doing its magic in Ronnie’s mouth, Ronnie jumped to feel Carrie’s lips softly running over his cheek. Ronnie didn’t open his eyes. Heath shifted his hips away from Ronnie’s and Ronnie felt his hand working his cock and playing with his balls. He sensed Carrie sitting back to look but didn’t open his eyes. 221

G.A. Hauser Kissing his way down Ronnie’s chest and treasure trail, Heath enveloped Ronnie’s cock into his mouth to the base. Ronnie stifled a groan and tensed up. Tiny fingers toyed with his erect nipples, Carrie’s fingers. He didn’t have to see her to know her touch. Heath spread Ronnie’s legs, bending his knees, opening up his body. As Heath lapped at Ronnie’s balls and ass, Ronnie almost hyperventilated. A cool finger touched the tip of his dick. Ronnie peeked. Carrie had snuck a swipe of his pre-cum, sucking her finger. Pleasure surged inside Ronnie’s body. It was a three-way, but not a true ménage à trois. Ronnie knew Heath would not allow Carrie too many liberties, and Ronnie didn’t want Carrie to fall for Heath. It was precarious as far as Ronnie was concerned. Heath took a moment to catch his breath. “Where do you keep the rubbers and lube?” Carrie whispered, as if she didn’t want to break the mood. “My shaving kit in the bathroom.” She scooted off the bed. “Heath,” Ronnie implored. “You okay?” “I’m scared shitless.” “Why?” “She’ll fall in love with you.” Ronnie caught movement out of the corner of his eye and shut up. Heath put his lips against Ronnie’s ear. “I’m gay. Gay and yours.” “Okay.” Ronnie nodded. Heath sat on his heels and jerked his cock a few times before he put on the condom. Carrie stripped down to her bra and panties. “What are you doing?” Ronnie asked, losing his erection. “Getting comfy. Shh. Pay attention to your lover.” She put 222

A Man’s Best Friend her finger to her lips. Ronnie rubbed his face trying not to think this was too crazy, even for him and Heath. Heath sucked on Ronnie’s cock again, obviously trying to get him aroused. Ronnie had doubts he could come under these conditions. Using slick fingers, Heath entered Ronnie’s ass. Ronnie tensed up and jerked his hips upwards, off the bed. His dick became interested again. Once he was hard, Heath coated his sheathed cock with enough lubrication to grease his F150 pickup truck. Ronnie had a feeling he was in for a wild ride, for Carrie’s benefit, and for Heath to show just exactly who owned whom. Ronnie gripped the bed under him as Heath began pushing the head of his dick inside him. He wanted to look at Carrie, but knew what he’d see. Most likely she was close enough to the action she could lick Ronnie’s balls. Heath penetrated to the hilt. Ronnie had to relax his tightly wound body and breathe. He was so tense his back was beginning to ache. Opening his eyes a crack, looking at Heath, Ronnie caught Heath grin demonically at Carrie right before he began thrusting deeply. Ronnie inhaled sharply and sealed his eyes closed again. Though the internal friction was fabulous, Ronnie had serious doubts as to whether this act would bring him satisfaction. It seemed the opposite was the case with the other two. A masculine grunt of pleasure echoed in the tiny room. Heath grabbed Ronnie’s legs and went into overdrive, pistonfucking Ronnie as well as intensifying his vocalizations of euphoria. It started to feel too good to ignore. Even though Ronnie bit it back, he whimpered and shook his head side to side, as if denying he could actually shoot his wad in front of Carrie. 223

G.A. Hauser “Baby! Baby!” Heath groaned, “Fuck! So good! So good!” There was nothing Ronnie could do to prevent his body from responding. Yeah, he could think of horrible things, open his eyes and stare at Carrie, depress himself with lousy thoughts. But…Heath was right! It felt good! So good! “Ahhhhfuckinghell!” Ronnie gave in and came, the spray of his cum spattering his chest, his jaw. Heath’s sweat dripped on Ronnie as he became a sex machine. Tightening his grip, Heath pushed in so deep, Ronnie imagined them melding into one, and then Heath came. A choking sound erupted from Heath’s throat. Ronnie had to see that. He opened his eyes to Heath’s orgasmic expression, felt the deep throbbing of his cock up his ass, and then, bravely, looked at Carrie. She had her hand in her panties and the expression of pure climax washed over her as well. “Holy shit!” Ronnie blinked. As Heath caught his breath, hanging his head and dripping perspiration, Carrie did the same, moaning and wiping her glistening face. Heath held the base of the condom, pulling out, still choking for oxygen. Carrie’s gaze ran from Ronnie’s body to Heath’s, as if she couldn’t get enough of them naked. Heath tossed the condom on the floor and he and Carrie nearly bumped heads to get a lick at the spent cum on Ronnie’s chest. When they sat back and roared with laughter, Ronnie finally did too. “My life is so weird!” Ronnie said, feeling the sweat drenching his hair and face as he ran his fingers over his scalp. “One lick.” Carrie held up her finger. “I’ll share it.” Heath gestured for her to go first. Carrie didn’t waste a second. She began licking Ronnie’s skin. “Mm…” 224

A Man’s Best Friend “Don’t hog it all,” Heath said, nudging her. Ronnie relaxed on the pillow as Carrie sat back and allowed Heath his share of the prize. Okay. Life can be worse. Ronnie closed his eyes and smiled.

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Chapter Twenty-three A call from the front desk woke them the next morning. Ronnie roused from a deep sleep. He was in Heath’s arms and Carrie was standing and stretching, having slept in the second bed, headed to the bathroom. Soon after, Ronnie heard the shower. Had they done what he thought they did last night? Insane. Heath embraced him. Ronnie loved the squeezing. “Morning, sailor.” “Morning.” “Crazy night.” “Yes. Very.” Ronnie smiled, touching the stubble on Heath’s jaw. “Tell me you love me.” Heath’s brow furrowed in concern. “You know I do.” Heath shook Ronnie as if to make him obey. “I have never heard those three magic words, all in a row. Tell me.” Ronnie bit his lip with the struggle. He’d never uttered that phrase to a living soul. Not in just that way. Not even to his mother. “Ronnie Brad Caruso!” Heath looked as if he was slightly amused at his terror. “I…I…” “Yes?” Heath shook him again. “Lo…Lo…” Heath cracked up with laughter. “Are you singing?” Ronnie swallowed hard. “You know how I feel about you.” “No. I don’t. I need you to tell me.”

A Man’s Best Friend “iloveyou,” Ronnie mumbled it quickly under his breath. He had no idea why that line made him panic, but it meant something to him. Commitment. The Big C. “What?” Heath leaned closer. “You heard me,” Ronnie shouted that reply. “Try it again.” “I…I love you.” Heath gave him a big smile. “Was that so bad?” Ronnie felt his cheeks heat up in a blush. “No. It felt quite nice, actually.” “Feel free to tell me anytime then. You can use the practice.” Ronnie lowered his lashes and smiled in embarrassment. “I, fortunately, don’t have that reserve. I love you. I love you.” Heath kissed him. “I love you.” Heath kissed him again. Ronnie started laughing, his heart doing flips in his chest. “What would I do without you?” Ronnie whispered, taking a quick peek for Carrie. “Kiss me.” Heath met his lips. The bathroom door opened. “Oh? Ready for more?” Carrie had a towel wrapped around her. “Always.” Heath smiled. “We have to get ready. Let me shower so you can next.” Ronnie slipped out of his grip. When he walked passed Carrie she squeezed his rump. Ronnie jumped and scolded her. Carrie said, “Nice ass, Ronnie. Wish I could fuck it.” Ronnie didn’t know how to answer her. “It is irresistible,” Heath replied. Closing himself into the bathroom, Ronnie stared at his reflection in the mirror and shook his head. 227

G.A. Hauser They were worn and ragged on landing, more emotionally than physically because of the coming sense of reality. After they picked up their luggage at the carousel, the three of them dragged themselves to the parking garage and Ronnie’s Mercedes. Once on Interstate 5 and the snarl of traffic at the city core, Ronnie drove Carrie to Capitol Hill and her shared house. “Wow. I’m a zombie. Talk about jetlag.” Her eyes were red and she appeared exhausted. “I never sleep on a plane.” “Get some rest.” Ronnie climbed out of the car as did Heath. While Ronnie took Carrie’s bag to her front door, Heath gave Carrie a hug goodbye. “Call me.” Carrie kissed Ronnie. “I had a blast with you guys.” “Just don’t work too hard.” Ronnie hugged her. “I can’t help that.” She smiled tiredly and entered her home, waving as she did. Returning to his car, Ronnie sat behind the wheel and said, “I’ll drop you off.” “You’re not staying over?” “I have to check on my apartment.” “Whatever.” Heath frowned. Twenty minutes later they parked in Heath’s driveway in Lynnwood. Ronnie shut the engine and stared at the house. Newspapers lay decaying on his front lawn. The thought of being alone made him ache. He just felt as if he had thinking to do. Deciding, something. “I’ll call you, Heath.” “At least come in for a second. And my suitcase is in your trunk.” “Right.” Ronnie climbed out of the car and opened the trunk. He removed Heath’s luggage and handed it to him. As they approached the front door, Heath gathered the mail 228

A Man’s Best Friend from the overstuffed box and Ronnie picked up the papers, tossing them into the trash when they entered the kitchen. Ronnie cringed at a horrible smell. “Oh, Christ. What died in here?” He covered his nose. Heath opened the refrigerator. Ronnie came up behind him to peer over his shoulder. The stench was overpowering. “What pretty colors. Black and green. What the hell was that?” He pointed to something fuzzy on one of the shelves. “Get a garbage bag. They’re under the sink.” Ronnie held his breath as they dumped suspect food. It’d been weeks since he was home, and knew he’d be going through a similar routine. Though, to Ronnie it felt as if there were an elephant in the room, Heath stayed quiet as they worked, looking worn and preoccupied. Once they finished dumping the trash and Heath sorted the bills from the junk mail, Ronnie made a move to leave. “I have a feeling my place will be worse. I’ve been gone longer.” “Do you want me to help?” Ronnie knew the answer to that. He hated to admit the notion of separating from Heath and sleeping alone sucked. “Are you sure you’re not too tired?” Heath grabbed his keys and jacket, not replying. To lighten the mood, Ronnie tugged on his black leather sleeve. “Love that thing on you.” Heath met his eyes and smiled. The apartment was only half as disgusting as the house. Ronnie owned a lot less food. They dumped the garbage and went through the mail, attending to it much as they had at Heath’s. Though it was still before noon, the jetlag and the lack of a good night’s rest on the plane was wearing on Ronnie. He felt overtired. 229

G.A. Hauser “Let me make a pot of coffee.” Ronnie scuffed in his stocking feet to the kitchen counter and filled the carafe with water. The sound of a little voice and knocking came from the hallway. “Ronnie?” Ronnie met Heath’s curious gaze. “It sounds like my neighbor’s daughter.” Heath nodded as Ronnie headed to the door. When he opened it, Meagan jumped up to hug him. “You’re back! Where were you? Mom said you must have moved out.” “Hi, Maggie. How’s my little girl?” He picked her up in his arms and kissed her cheek. “Well, look what the wind blew in.” “Hey, Janie.” Ronnie set Meagan down and held out his arms. Janie hugged him and then smiled at Heath. Heath waved at her. “Hi.” “Hello, Heath.” Janie stuck her tongue in her cheek when she waved back at him. “Where have you been?” “My dad died. I stayed at Mom’s for a week, then a friend planned a trip to Rome for us. But it was cut short. We didn’t stay there very long.” Heath appeared nervous, as if the conversation were awkward suddenly and Ronnie wasn’t sure why. Heath said, “I’ll see if the coffee is done dripping. Do you want a cup, Janie?” “No, thank you, Heath.” Janie waited until Heath was out of the room. “So? Tell me. Was I right? You and Heath?” Ronnie glanced over his shoulder to make sure they weren’t overheard. He had a feeling his cheeks were a brilliant shade of red. Meagan was staring at him. “Why don’t you go see if Heath has a cookie for you, sweetie?” “Can I, Mom?” “Sure.” Janie waved for Meagan to go. When her daughter 230

A Man’s Best Friend was out o the room, Janie shook Ronnie by his shoulders. “Tell me.” “Yes. You were right.” “I knew it. I knew you were gay.” “Ronnie?” Heath called from the kitchen. “I can’t find the cookies.” Janie squeezed Ronnie’s arm and winked at him. “You make a great looking couple,” she told him quickly before they joined Heath and Meagan. Ronnie tried to get used to her knowing the truth. It was unnerving though he didn’t want it to be. He opened a cabinet and removed a package of chocolate chip cookies. “I believe I found them.” He waved them in front of Meagan who jumped in excitement. “You want a cookie too?” Ronnie asked Janie. “No, thank you.” Ronnie noticed Janie appeared enthralled as she watched Heath pour two cups of coffee, mixing Ronnie’s just as he liked it. “Okay,” Janie said, “When are you moving in together?” Ronnie choked and didn’t look at Heath’s reaction. “Uh…” Heath said, “I’m not sure Ronnie can handle anything that reeks of commitment.” “Hey, be nice.” Ronnie frowned at him. He sat at the kitchen table next to his coffee and Meagan hopped on his lap as she ate her cookie, snuggling against him. “My God, I can’t believe you two are really a couple.” Janie laughed. “I love it.” It was humiliating Ronnie even though she meant no harm. Ronnie gave his attention to Meagan. “How’s my little girl?” He nuzzled her and hugged her tight. “I missed you, Ronnie. You gonna take me to the zoo?” He melted instantly. “Am I gonna take you to the zoo?” He 231

G.A. Hauser started tickling her. She giggled wildly and squirmed on his lap. Janie said, “No, Maggie, Bobby is taking us to the zoo.” Ronnie pretended he wasn’t listening, enjoying Meagan’s laughter. “You know,” Janie said to Heath, “I told Ronnie I knew you guys would be together.” “Oh? Then I owe you a thank you.” Heath smiled. Ronne noticed him watching him and Meagan playing. “He loves children.” Janie sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, Ronnie caught the smile fading from Heath’s lips. Janie harkened to a noise. Someone was knocking out in the hall. “Bobby?” she called out of the open door. A young man leaned into Ronnie’s apartment. “Oh, here you are.” Janie brought him inside the apartment. She tried to get Ronnie’s attention over her daughter’s wild laughter. “Hello? Guys?” Ronnie stopped tickling Meagan so she would calm down. “Mommy’s calling us.” He straightened her clothing up and sat her on his knee. “Say, Yes, Mommy?” he coached. “Yes, Mommy?” she echoed. “Bobby’s here. Time to go.” Janie beckoned her. “No! I don’t want to go.” She buried her face in Ronnie’s shirt. “Hey, hey, my little doll. You be a good girl and say, Yes, Mommy.” “No.” She dug her way under Ronnie’s arm. “Come on, Maggie, Bobby’s taking us to the zoo.” Janie came over to take her hand. Ronnie sat Meagan upright. “Don’t you want to go to the zoo with Mommy and Bobby?” 232

A Man’s Best Friend “No, I want to go with you,” she whined. “I can’t go, sweetie, I have to rest. I just got back from a trip and I’m really tired. ” “No!” “Okay. Be good and behave. Will you do that for me? Hmm?” Ronnie made her look at him. Meagan sighed and nodded. “That’s my big girl.” He kissed her and set her on her feet. She ran over to Bobby and he picked her up and pecked her cheek. “Ronnie, this is my boyfriend, Bobby Taylor. Bobby, this is Ronnie Caruso.” “And that’s his boyfriend, Heath.” Meagan pointed to Heath. “Hello.” Bobby shook both their hands as Ronnie tried to hide his embarrassment that even Meagan knew he was gay. “Okay. Off to the zoo.” Janie said, “Call me. And I want to know if you move out. At least tell me you’re gone this time.” She kissed his cheek. “See ya, Heath.” “I will. I’m sorry. Dad’s death kind of took me by surprise.” “I can imagine. I’m so sorry, Ron.” Janie gave him a sympathetic smile. Bobby used Meagan’s hand to wave as she pouted sadly at leaving. Heath and Ronnie waved back at them. Once they left, Heath asked, “You okay?” “Huh? Yeah, sure.” Ronnie tried to think of what else he needed to do as he sipped his coffee. Heath approached him. “Janie appears to be doing well moving on after the divorce. Bobby seems like a nice guy.” “Huh?” Ronnie was lost in thought. “Oh, yes, he seems real nice.” “You’re a natural father, the way you play with Maggie.” 233

G.A. Hauser Was Heath testing the paternal waters once more for his state of mind? Ronnie had no doubt. It was the only problem in their relationship. “Maggie? I adore her.” “Talk to me, babe.” Heath placed both of their coffee mugs on the table and held Ronnie’s waist. “Sometimes I wish I could make a deal with the devil.” “What are you talking about?” Heath shivered visibly. Ronnie felt his eyes burn and tear up. “I’d be willing to sell my soul for a few wonderful things.” “Things? You’d sell your soul for material things?” “No. Not material things. Only one thing.” Heath came within a kiss of his lips. “Don’t sell your soul. We can work out something. Please. We haven’t even discussed the baby issue between us.” “What? Adoption? Surrogacy? There’s no guarantee that will happen.” “But there are no guarantees in life even when you marry and try to have children with a woman, are there?” “There are if you sell your soul.” Ronnie felt a sharp pain in his chest at the thought of marrying Carrie in spite of his love of Heath. “Stop. Stop all this devil crap.” Heath pushed away from him. Ronnie knew whenever he and Heath talked about the supernatural, dying, or anything X-File-ish, it always made Heath nervous. Heath lowered his head and turned his back to him, picking up his coffee cup again. Ronnie sighed. He knew there was a hell. He was only trying to be patient and be rewarded with his share of heaven.

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Chapter 24 Though Ronnie never discussed Heath staying the night, Heath did. They snuggled on Ronnie’s bed, in just their briefs, watching the evening news. When his cell phone rang, Ronnie picked it up from his nightstand while Heath lowered the volume on the TV. “Ron?” “Hi, Mom.” Ronnie shifted his posture to sit upright against the headboard. “Where are you?” “Where am I?” He glanced at Heath. “I’ve been calling both your mobile phone and home number for three days and haven’t been able to reach you.” “I told you Heath, Carrie and I went to Rome, right?” “No.” Ronnie blinked. “No? Are you sure?” He knew he did. Maybe his mom was confused since his dad died. “Am I sure?” Her tone was not pleasant. “I know I did, but anyway, we’re home. Carrie had to get back early, so we only hung out in Rome—” “You went with both of them?” she cut him off. Clearing his throat at the awkwardness, Ronnie peeked at Heath who appeared to be hanging on every word. “It’s not like what you think.” “Ron!” Beverly said, “What are you? Gay? Straight? Bisexual? This is so unfair to everyone.” “Unfair?” Ronnie did not want Heath to hear this. He

G.A. Hauser slowly climbed off the bed, intending on getting out of the room. “Mom, do we have to talk about this now?” “When could this topic have a right time?” “Mom.” Ronnie left the room, speaking quietly. “What are you doing? Are you using them? Are you greedy?” “Are you drunk?” Ronnie knew she wasn’t but he was getting angry. “What are you doing? Are you giving them each half your heart?” “What?” he inhaled sharply. “You think either Carrie or Heath can survive on leftovers? Or do they deserve a whole person?” “Mom. Don’t do this to me. It’s not like that.” He knew it would break her heart if he told her he preferred Heath. “Ronnie, don’t be such an ass. You need to choose.” “Choose?” He felt an emotional tidal wave. “Who the hell are you to tell me that? You don’t even know the entire circumstances. You think I’m in a sexual relationship with both of them, don’t you?” “Oh! Having sex with both of them? Does Carrie know? I would think she would be sick to her stomach.” Ronnie covered his face and kept moving to the kitchen so Heath couldn’t hear. “Why are you doing this to me?” he groaned. “Because of Carrie and Heath. They’re too good to deserve this. Tell Heath you will eventually marry Carrie to raise a family and he has no future with you. Decide, Ronnie. Don’t keep stringing Heath along. You know how attached he is.” Ronnie choked up, a rush of tears filled his eyes. “Tell him. Stop giving him false hope. I know ever since you were a teen you wanted to be a father. So stop this nonsense and get on with your life. You’re twenty-six. Grow up.” 236

A Man’s Best Friend Was she right? Was he keeping Heath hanging? Would he marry Carrie and have to give him up? Give him up? I can’t give him up! Ronnie heard a noise. Heath poked his head into the room. Turning his back and cupping the phone, Ronnie said to his mother, “You have no idea how wrong you are.” Ronnie tried to control his emotions. “And I’ll tell you something else. I will always love him most.” He disconnected the call and tried to recuperate from the pain. “Babe?” Heath obviously spotted his tears he raced over to him. “Ronnie, what happened?” Heath dug his hands into his hair and coaxed Ronnie’s head up to see his eyes. Ronnie was near crying. “I can’t.” “You can’t what?” Heath dragged Ronnie back to the bedroom, taking the phone and putting it on the nightstand. Heath nudged Ronnie to the bed and dabbed at his tears. “Lover, talk to me.” Ronnie tried to control himself. “What if…what if…Carrie and I…” Closing his eyes, it seemed Heath braced himself. “I can’t! She asked me to give you up, I can’t!” Ronnie grabbed Heath, dragged him down on the bed with him and wrapped his arms around him, sobbing over his shoulder. Heath rubbed his back. “Tell me what she said.” “She…she said I was giving you each half a heart. I’m not doing that, am I?” “No, baby. Shh. She doesn’t know us at all.” “Then…then…you’ll stay with me?” “I’ll never leave you willingly.” “Even…even if—” I can’t do this! I hate you, Mom! Ronnie tried to jerk away but Heath held him in a tight grip. “You’re not running away, Caruso. We need to deal with this. We’ve been skirting around this issue too long.” 237

G.A. Hauser “Deal with it? I can’t deal with anything. I’m cracking up. If I want a baby with Carrie, you’ll leave me. If I live with you, Carrie will get jealous and fed up, and she’ll vanish. My dad just died and my mom is going loco on me.” Ronnie hiccupped, “And I haven’t even gone back to work yet. Do you have any idea how much work is waiting for me? And you say, ‘Deal with it’? Aaaugh!” “Yes. We have to.” Ronnie kept trying to get away. “No, I can’t. Let me go.” Heath growled and lay on top of him, pinning him down. “I’ll make you deal with it.” Heath held Ronnie’s face in his hands. “Heath,” Ronnie groaned and tried to push him off. Heath moved his hand down Ronnie’s abdomen into his briefs to his cock. He sucked at Ronnie’s neck and licked his way down to his naked shoulder. “Jesus Christ.” Ronnie couldn’t move under Heath’s strength. “This is how we ‘deal’ with it? With you molesting me?” “Shut up! Will you just shut up! I love you, you stupid ass.” Ronnie’s breath caught in his throat at Heath’s anger. Heath yanked Ronnie’s briefs down his hips, devouring his way to his chest. Ronnie looked at his exposed body as a mass of brown hair made its way to his cock. “Ah…” A hot mouth wrapped around his dick and Ronnie’s his head spun. His briefs were torn off and he was thrown on his face. Heath’s weight on his back kept him helpless. He heard him searching frantically in the nightstand drawer, then lubrication covered Ronnie’s ass. He was pressed into the pillows so hard he had to turn his face aside for a breath. “Heath.” He flinched as his ass was spanked. The sting shut him up. A strong arm wrapped around his hips and Ronnie 238

A Man’s Best Friend gasped as he was penetrated. His cock was handled roughly and stroked harder than he was used to. “Jesus!” Heath started fisting him at the same time he fucked him. He whispered into his ear, “I love you, you gorgeous mother fucker, I love you!” Ronnie started rising from the intensity. “Ah! Fuck!” Heath shivered and stroked him faster. “Ah! Heath!” Ronnie clenched his teeth. He knew what this was about. Anal sex. Gay sex. The one thing Carrie could not compete with, not by a long shot. “God! Harder! Fuck!” And Ronnie loved it. Fucking loved it! A deep, low masculine sound came from Heath as he came. Hearing his lover climax pushed Ronnie over the edge. He filled Heath’s hand with his cum as his whole body shuddered and throbbed. “Oh, sweet mother of God!” Heath collapsed on his back, the sweat running down Ronnie’s body between them. They lay still, recuperating. It appeared Heath refused to allow Ronnie to move away from him. Though he had released his hold on Ronnie’s cock, he wrapped his arms and legs around him like a boa constrictor. Ronnie felt the squeezing tighten so he couldn’t breathe deeply any longer. “God, Ronnie,” Heath moaned, “I can’t make it without you.” “Me neither. Motherfucker, I’m so in love with you.” Heath finally rolled him over. “You…you…” “Yes?” Ronnie replied, “What do you want from me? No one can ball me like that.” “You never cease to amaze me.” “Me?” He pointed to his chest. “You’re the ringmaster here. I’m just your sex slave.” “Wow, do I like the sound of that!” 239

G.A. Hauser Ronnie enjoyed his smile. “Let’s wash and get some sleep. Okay?” “Yes. Let’s.” Heath kissed him and finally freed him. Ronnie assumed the argument was over. But then again, he always favored Heath after a bout of hot man on man sex.

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Chapter Twenty-five The next morning Heath waited as Ronnie wet down in the shower, then stood with his legs spread. “Suck me.” “My pleasure.” Heath got to his knees and took him into his mouth. “Oh, yes.” Ronnie braced himself on the tile walls. Heath groaned in delight at his taste. He loved Ronnie’s cock. He worked him eagerly, grabbing his balls and massaging them. Heath assumed the debate was over. It was time Ronnie got rid of this tiny apartment and moved in. Once they were living together, they’d discuss a family. There was no rush. They were both very young. After the phone call from Beverly and Ronnie’s confession that he couldn’t give him up, Heath finally felt more secure. Ronnie tensed up and moaned when Heath pushed a soapy finger inside his ass. “Oh, God, I’m there.” Cum pumped into Heath’s mouth. He whimpered in pleasure and rubbed his fingers against Ronnie’s scrotum. “Oh baby, that’s it. So nice.” Heath massaged him to prolong it. Ronnie’s knees buckled. Heath held him tight, staring at him, the water beating against his back. The expression on Ronnie’s face was amazing. His eyes were still closed and his hair was pasted to his cheek and neck as he leaned against the tile wall, recuperating. Heath stood up and turned Ronnie to face the wall. He soaped himself up and pushed his hard dick between Ronnie’s thighs. “Squeeze, lover.” Ronnie tightened up his legs and Heath pumped between

G.A. Hauser them, slick and wet. Heath hammered him into the wall, rough and hard, like Ronnie loved it. He wrapped his arm around Ronnie’s waist and then felt he was still erect. “Oh, no, Heath, you have to be kidding.” Heath held Ronnie’s cock in his fist as he thrust between his thighs. He ignored his protest and worked him ruthlessly for a second orgasm. Ronnie was nearly flattened against the wall. Heath shivered and ground his teeth, grunting and ramming harder. “Oh, baby, baby!” Heath was close to coming and worked that gorgeous cock as hard as he could. Just as the climax hit Heath, he heard Ronnie howl, “Jesus Christ!” feeling Ronnie’s dick throb in his wet hands. Catching his breath, Heath leaned his head on Ronnie’s back. He still held Ronnie’s cock in his palm and was reluctant to let it go. Ronnie was gasping, choking to gain air. The water cascaded off them in pelting bullets. Heath kept touching him, lightly, as he recovered. He fondled Ronnie’s balls and moved back to that delightful shaft. Ronnie rolled his forehead on the tile and moaned. “Are you in love with my penis?” “Yes,” Heath replied. “I can tell.” Heath laughed as he tenderly inspecting its every inch. “I’d keep my hands in your pants all day if it were humanly possible.” He held Ronnie’s genitals in two hands. “If you keep it up you’ll giving me another hard-on.” “You want to come again?” “Are you kidding?” Ronnie laughed. “I can’t.” “You sure?” Heath clamped his left hand on his soft balls, and started stoking with his right. “Oh, God. Heath, I’m too spent.” Heath didn’t want to release him. He loved making him 242

A Man’s Best Friend come. He played with him for a while, leaning against him, kissing his wet back. Ronnie nudged him and he was allowed to turn around to face him. “Later,” he pleaded. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s finish up.” Heath shut the water and handed him a towel. As they dried off, Heath suddenly grew insecure again. Why did asking Ronnie to move it, to make it permanent scare him to death? One word he knew Ronnie was terrified of. Commitment. But weren’t they there? “I want to talk about you moving in and us having children.” Ronnie froze mid-sip of his coffee and met Heath’s eyes from over the kitchen table. Heath chewed his toast. “Ronnie! What is holding you back? After last night? Come on. This is ridiculous.” “What will I tell Carrie?” Ronnie whispered. Shrugging, Heath said, “That you’re moving in with me. Do you think she’ll be shocked? She’ll probably want a video camera in our bedroom so she can watch.” Ronnie set down his cup. “That’s what you presume, but what does she think deep inside? How do you know she’s accepted you and me as a couple, without her? And another thing, why is there no jealousy between you?” Heath’s mouth tightened to a thin line. “No jealousy? Is that what you think?” Heath shook his head slowly. “For you. We do it all for you. I think we’re afraid you’ll dump the one who makes a fuss over it.” “You’ve discussed this with her?” “No, not the way you think. We just both know it. We don’t have to say it.” Heath ate another bite of his toast. “Look, Ronnie…” Heath brushed off his hands of crumbs. “I’m going to tell you something, for what it’s worth.” He inhaled deeply first. “I love you. I’m obsessed with you, if it isn’t obvious. If I 243

G.A. Hauser didn’t like the woman, do you think I could bear seeing you together? The biggest problem I have is that I think you’re made for each other. It tortures me to know I’m standing between you and your chance at your own children. If I could still have you once you knocked her up, I wouldn’t care. But I know once she’s pregnant with your kid, it’s finished.” Ronnie hated this conversation. It was his worst nightmare. “In some ways, loving you has been my private hell. I wish to God you’d tell me you were finished with the notion of having kids and only wanted me. But after seeing you with Meagan and knowing how you crave fatherhood, how can I help but feel that you’re fed up with the thought of being called gay and are ready to give me up instead?” Ronnie stared at him. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry.” Heath held up his hand. “Don’t misunderstand me. I want it like it is as opposed to nothing at all.” He held Ronnie’s jaw in his hands. “I just know how easy it would be to marry Carrie, please your mother, and have that kid you want so badly.” Ronnie could see the excruciating pain in Heath’s eyes. It was killing him. “Oh, my baby. Please forgive me. I’ve told you, I’m not giving you up. I guess I just have to get used to being called exactly what I am. Heath, I’m gay, not bi. And I am not going to have a baby with Carrie unless she signs some agreement to be a surrogate.” Ronnie added, “And she won’t.” “Kiss me.” Heath urged him to his lips. When they parted Ronnie whispered excitedly, “Now I have a woodie.” “After coming twice in the shower? Are you kidding me?” “You think I’m joking?” Ronnie stood to show off his bulge. “Look.” Heath closed his eyes and opened his lips to a sensuous breath. The rush through Ronnie’s body at the sight of Heath’s passionate expression was like a bolt of white lightning. He scooted around the table, and grabbed Heath by his arms. “Why 244

A Man’s Best Friend do you have to be so fucking exquisite? You make me want to make love to you. Do you realize what you do to me?” Heath opened his eyes slowly. “Then love me.” Ronnie reacted and crushed him in his embrace, bringing Heath to his feet, tasting his skin, inhaling his scent, running his hands over every part of him. He let out a deep low moan of pleasure. Heath whimpered in his ear, “Oh, my baby, please, don’t ever let it end.” Heath parked in his driveway later that evening. Ronnie had actually packed a few boxes in an effort to move in. The victory Heath felt was as if he’d just been awarded a medal. He got the gold. Or at least a man worth his weight in gold. As they carried the boxes to his front door Heath assumed Carrie would bow out gracefully now. She would see which way Ronnie was leaning. You don’t move in with your male lover for nothing. Do you? A lifetime’s preoccupation; understanding Ronnie Caruso. He never could guess what that man was thinking when it counted. His shyness, his insecurity; that he could read like bold print in a senior citizen’s newspaper. But long term? Commitments? Ha! Never mind. Why ask why? Did he accomplish the impossible? Ronnie was moving in. That had to be the C-word. It had to be it. When Carrie called Ronnie’s cell phone, Heath listened in. Would he tell her? No. He just made arrangements for her to come to Lynnwood to meet them. It wasn’t nice to tell her that over the phone. Heath certainly understood. He just couldn’t wait for Ronnie to let her know. By six, after a few beers, Heath heard a car door and checked Ronnie’s expression. “That must be Carrie.” Heath nodded, sitting up on the couch. 245

G.A. Hauser “Let me talk to her alone.” “Okay.” Heath did not like that. Not one bit. “Hi, Carrie.” Ronnie kissed her lips and helped her with her coat. He didn’t know how she guessed so quickly, but Carrie asked, “Did you move in?” Ronnie noticed Heath blink in surprise and looked around for the giveaway. “How did you know?” “I didn’t.” She dropped her purse on the coffee table. “But I figured after Italy, you would.” She waved at Heath. “Hi. So? You got the prize?” Heath choked on his beer. “Come with me.” Ronnie held her elbow. “I need to talk to you.” Once he escorted her to the kitchen and poured her a glass of wine, he sat across from her and stared at her, his heart pounding. He was nervous. He hated the idea of hurting her. “Did he ask you to move in?” “Yes.” “Okay.” She appeared to contemplate it, drinking her wine. “Am I out of the picture?” “Do you want to be?” “I have no idea what I want.” Carrie ran her hand back through her hair. “Are you guys a committed couple, or will you eventually change your mind and break up eventually?” “I have no idea what the future holds, but would never give him up willingly.” “Right. I suppose I knew that.” She laughed sadly. “Oh well. I tried.” Ronnie inhaled to calm himself. “You deserve my honesty. You at least deserve that.” He waited but she didn’t meet his eyes. “If I could retrace my steps back to the first night Heath and I touched sexually, I should have left it like it was. He was 246

A Man’s Best Friend my best friend. But it happened, for good or bad, he seduced me and I gave in. My first mistake was giving into it and experimenting with him. But, you made it easy.” She flinched and bit her lip, staring at her wine. “You didn’t freak out when you first knew. You let Heath and I get closer. So close we’re inseparable.” He paused, but still she wouldn’t look at him. “When I first met you, Heath and I had only just begun our sexual relationship. It wasn’t like I’d been making love to him since we met.” She gulped the rest of her wine, frowning. “Then I find out it turns you on. Not only did you allow it, Carrie, you encouraged it. If you had been repulsed, maybe that would have been the excuse I needed to let it go.” Ronnie thought about that last line. “Never mind. It wouldn’t.” He wiped at his eyes. “Look, I’m fucking demented, okay? I can’t get enough of him. I’m sick. I need help. Whatever the reasons, I can’t live without him.” Ronnie watched the hope dim further from her eyes. “Oh, my love.” He grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips. “But what about you? You need a proper husband. You’re too good of a woman to be put through this nonsense. And I’m not worth it. You deserve more.” “Don’t tell me what I deserve,” she growled. She was shaking. “I knew what I was up against the whole while, Ronnie. And you are ‘worth it’ though your self-esteem would never let you believe it. You’re bright, funny, caring, generous; you’re everything I have ever wanted in a man. Everything. I always want to be around you.” She took a napkin from the holder and wiped her eyes. “And Heath. I love him too. Don’t think I don’t. He’s gentle and kind. And I never want to hurt him. No, I’m not repulsed by you two touching. Fucking sue me.” She laughed in a choke. “Look, if you need him, I get it.” “What? But what about—” “I’ll think about what you’re saying. I’ll think good and hard over it, believe me. But I still want us all to be friends.” 247

G.A. Hauser He felt like complete crap. “Carrie, I don’t want to lose you.” “Ronnie, I won’t become your enemy over this.” He rose up and took her in his arms. “Why? Why will you do this for me?” “Because I’m madly in love with you, you stupid jerk.” “I want you to be a part of our lives. I do.” “Whatever. Can you give me a minute to digest it?” She backed up from his embrace. “Of course.” He bit his lip. When he returned to the living room, Heath was pacing anxiously. He stopped when Ronnie entered the room. “What did she say about you living with me?” “She gets it, Heath, and still wants us all to be friends.” “Friends? Can we keep going like this?” He rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know if I can do it. Don’t we have to decide where this is going?” “Decide? Decide what? That Carrie can’t even be around us? That we can’t be friends?” Ronnie approached him. “You want me to decide between the two of you and make three fucking people die inside? Will you look at me for Christ’s sake?” He jarred Heath to make him meet his eyes. “I can’t share your affection. I can’t.” Heath tried to turn away. “Are you? I only fuck you.” “I’ll always be afraid you’ll slip and do her. Your need for a child will override your loyalty and you’ll knock her up.” Ronnie choked. “Like ‘oops’ it slipped in? That kind of slip? Are you insane?” Heath moaned and covered his face. “Look at me and tell me you don’t want me anymore. That’s the only way I’ll give you up. Tell me you’ve stopped loving me and it’s over.” Heath turned his back to him. 248

A Man’s Best Friend “Look at me! Tell me you don’t want us to ever touch. To kiss one another! You showed me what loving you is like, and now you want to deprive me of it forever? How can I get it through to you? How will I make you understand? I’m in love with you, so much more than you could ever love me. You are a constant for me. My security, my strength. If you leave me, I will die. Can I make myself any clearer?” “Guys?” Ronnie couldn’t believe he had forgotten her. And that oversight said everything to him. “I’m going to go.” “Carrie.” Ronnie walked closer to her. “I am so sorry.” “Don’t be. I get it.” She made a detour around him and walked to the front door. Heath prevented Carrie from leaving. “Wait.” Carrie did, wiping at her eyes. “We love you. Don’t vanish from our lives.” The warmth Heath was showing choked Ronnie up. “I don’t want to. But I don’t want to be a wedge between you two either. I love you both too.” Heath embraced her. When Ronnie heard him whisper, he stepped closer, wondering what was being said. Carrie leaned back and gave Heath a big smile. “It’s what I wanted to do from the moment I met him, and you.” “What?” Ronnie had no idea what they were talking about. He imagined in terror it was a three-way. “I asked her to be our surrogate mother.” Inhaling in surprise, Ronnie gawked at them. “Are you kidding?” “Can I?” She smiled, her eyes overflowing. “I want to have a baby in my prime, not when I’m in my thirties. And I want you guys to raise it with me, or at least let me visit.” Ronnie thought he was dreaming. 249

G.A. Hauser “Get over here, Caruso.” Heath reached out for him. Ronnie rushed for that group hug. He hummed and squeezed them close. “Kiss me.” Ronnie grinned at Carrie and pecked her lips. “Now kiss your partner.” She nudged him. Seeing Heath’s shining eyes, Ronnie leaned closer to him. Heath met his lips. “Yum!” Carrie snuggled excitedly. “I think I got the best part of this deal.” He and Heath started laughing. They parted and smiled at her impish grin. “You’re a perv,” Ronnie said. “No. You are!” she replied. “You both are,” Heath added. “Heaven. I’ve found Heaven.” Ronnie closed his eyes and held them close. “Best friends?” Carrie held out her hand to Ronnie for a shake to seal the deal. “Best friends.” Ronnie clasped her hand and gave Heath a wink. The End

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About the Author Award-winning author G. A. Hauser was born in Fair Lawn, New Jersey, USA, and attended university in New York City. She moved to Seattle, Washington where she worked as a patrol officer with the Seattle Polic Department. In early 2000 G.A. moved to Hertfordshire, England, where she began her writing in earnest and published her first book, In the Shadow of Alexander. Now a full-time writer in Ohio, G.A. has written dozens of novels, including several bestsellers of gay fiction. For more information on other books by G.A., visit the author at her official website at: www.authorgahauser.com. G.A. has won awards from All Romance eBooks for Best Novel 2007, Secrets and Misdemeanors, Best Author 2007. Best Novel 2008, Mile High, and Best Author 2008.

The G.A. Hauser Collection Available Now Single Titles Unnecessary Roughness The Physician and the Actor For Love and Money The Kiss Naked Dragon Secrets and Misdemeanors Capital Games Giving Up the Ghost To Have and To Hostage Love you, Loveday The Boy Next Door When Adam Met Jack Exposure The Vampire and the Man-eater Murphy's Hero Mark Antonious deMontford Prince of Servitude Calling Dr. Love The Rape of St. Peter The Wedding Planner Going Deep Double Trouble Pirates

Miller’s Tale Vampire Nights Teacher’s Pet In the Shadow of Alexander The Rise and Fall of the Sacred Band of Thebes

The Action Series Acting Naughty Playing Dirty Getting it in the End Behaving Badly Dripping Hot

Men in Motion Series Mile High Cruising Driving Hard Leather Boys

Rescue Series Man to Man Two In Two Out Top Men

G.A. Hauser Writing as Amanda Winters Sister Moonshine Nothing Like Romance Silent Reign Butterfly Suicide Mutley’s Crew

Coming Soon Single Titles All Man Heart of Steele It Takes a Man Got Men? In The Dark and What Should Never Be, Erotic Short Stories Mark and Sharon (formerly titled A Question of Sex)