Reckless Heart Copyright © July 2010 by Amanda Young All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the purchaser of th...
27 downloads
768 Views
718KB Size
Report
This content was uploaded by our users and we assume good faith they have the permission to share this book. If you own the copyright to this book and it is wrongfully on our website, we offer a simple DMCA procedure to remove your content from our site. Start by pressing the button below!
Report copyright / DMCA form
Reckless Heart Copyright © July 2010 by Amanda Young All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions. eISBN 978-1-60737-526-5 Editor: Jana J. Hanson Cover Artist: Anne Cain Printed in the United States of America
Published by Loose Id LLC PO Box 425960 San Francisco CA 94142-5960 www.loose-id.com This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author‟s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Warning This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Loose Id LLC‟s e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.
*** DISCLAIMER: Please do not try any new sexual practice, especially those that might be found in our BDSM/fetish titles without the guidance of an experienced practitioner. Neither Loose Id LLC nor its authors will be responsible for any loss, harm, injury or death resulting from use of the information contained in any of its titles.
http://www.loose-id.com
Chapter One “I don‟t know about this.” Milo Santiago peered around the edge of the servers‟ station and stole a peek at the enigmatic brunet seated at table four. “What if I hit on the dude and he‟s a raging, homophobic prick who complains to the manager? This job sucks ass, but I don‟t want to lose it over something stupid.” His older brother, Dante, would skin him alive if he was fired. Ever since Milo had moved in the previous April, Dante seemed to feel like it was his life‟s mission to make sure Milo was walking a straight and narrow path—however that translated for a bent eighteen-year-old. Fellow waiter Danny Noonan shook the foam off the rim of a glass of soda he was pouring from the drink fountain and grinned at Milo. “The dude‟s a pillow biter; I‟d bet my ass on it.” Milo let his gaze travel down to Danny‟s khaki-covered ass, then gave his coworker the best sleazy leer he could manage. “Oh you would, would you?” “Shut up.” Danny used his free hand to lightly shove Milo‟s shoulder. “You know what I mean.” “Yeah, yeah.” Milo rolled his eyes. Just because Danny was straight didn‟t mean Milo had to quit dreaming. With his spiky blond hair and pretty cornflower blue eyes, Danny would have made the perfect little twink. If only he was willing to bend over… “All right.” Milo leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “If I go over there and make an ass of myself, what‟s in it for me?” “How about pride and a sense of accomplishment? Or a hot date—not that I actually think you‟ll manage to get anywhere.”
2
Amanda Young
Milo snorted. The guy sitting alone at table four was so far out of his league. It wasn‟t as if Milo didn‟t know his own worth—after all, he was young, fit, and hung. However, he was also bright enough to recognize money, whether it was folded in his pocket or striding in the door of the little mom-and-pop-style restaurant where he slung drinks and chow for minimum wage plus tips. Milo‟s entire wardrobe, from birth until that very moment, probably hadn‟t cost as much as the swanky clothes on the customer‟s back. Heads had turned when the man entered the restaurant, but Milo felt sure none of them were as captivated by the man as he was. Dressed in solid black, the stranger exuded poise and grace in a way Milo feared he‟d never be able to pull off without looking like a little kid trying to play grown-up. The cut of his shirt and slacks was impeccable; the black dress shirt gaped open at the man‟s throat and hung just right off his wide shoulders, while the slacks hugged trim hips and thick thighs like they were made specifically for him. For all Milo knew, they had been. He might not have been able to name a single designer label, but that didn‟t mean he couldn‟t recognize quality when he saw it. Danny filled a second glass with clear, fizzy liquid and set it on a serving tray. “So what do you want?” Milo peeked around the corner again, watched Mr. Moneybags sip his sweet tea, then returned his attention to Danny. Why would such a handsome man have to dine alone? Milo would have remembered someone so attractive if he‟d seen him before. Surely the man was either new in town or just passing through. Given Milo‟s luck, it was probably the latter. For the last six months, it had seemed as if everything he wanted was just out of his reach. He glanced back at Danny. “I‟ll take a fifth.” “Okay.” “Of the good stuff,” Milo clarified. There was no way he was doing this for some nasty, cheap-ass liquor. “You‟ve got it.” Danny paused. “If he says yes…”
Reckless Heart
3
“No problem.” Milo scratched his head where the plain plastic band held his thick, shoulder-length hair secure at the base of his neck. This wasn‟t going to be as easy as he thought. Maybe if he got really lucky, the hot brunet would not only be bent, but in the mood to go slumming as well. Stranger things had been known to happen. Danny‟s lips twisted into a wicked, lopsided smile. “Go on then, hotshot. Show me what you‟ve got. In fact”—he waved table four‟s check under Milo‟s nose and then set it on the counter—“you can deliver the guy‟s check for me. In the meantime, I need to deliver these drinks to table six.” He picked up his tray, carefully balancing the weight of all four glasses. “Go on.” Milo grabbed the bill and waved Danny ahead of him. “I‟m right behind you.” He might get his ass handed to him, but he wasn‟t going to back down. The worst Mr. Moneybags could do was say no, right? Sure, rejection probably wasn‟t the most horrible thing that could happen, but Milo wasn‟t going to dwell on what might go down. If he was the sort of person who cowered in fear of the unknown, he‟d still be back home, hiding his sexuality and pretending he liked girls in order to make his papa proud of him. Instead he‟d manned up, come out to his parents when they‟d confronted him about his sexuality, and been kicked to the curb for his efforts. Thank goodness Dante had taken him in, even if his older brother was an overbearing pain in the ass more often than not; otherwise, Milo would probably be sleeping on the street and hustling for his dinner like some misfortunate character out of an after-school special. Now, however, wasn‟t the time to dwell on the negative. Men could smell fear approaching from a mile away. In the last few months since he‟d moved in with Dante and begun to explore his sexuality, Milo had discovered the trick to picking up men was to pretend like you were doing them a favor. Confidence with a little touch of arrogance thrown in
4
Amanda Young
for good measure would usually do the job, unless the person he was hitting on really wasn‟t attracted to him. Contrary to what Milo had let Danny believe, he was interested in the man dining alone at table four. From the moment he‟d entered the restaurant, Milo‟s gaze had been drawn to the stranger again and again, as if invisible filaments connected them. Although he‟d been tempted to beg Danny to swap tables with him so he could wait on the man, he‟d chosen to keep quiet and observe first. He hadn‟t expected Danny to catch him gawking, much less dare him to hit on the stranger. However, if he got shot down, the dare might allow Milo to save a little face. Maybe. With that thought in mind, Milo headed for table four with a little extra swagger in his step. Not a single doubt crept into his mind as he approached his target. He wouldn‟t allow it. The fact that he‟d scored with younger men who were twice as good-looking boosted his confidence. Landing a phone number from this dude would be a piece of cake. Milo could be charming when the situation called for it. There was no reason to believe he couldn‟t get exactly what he wanted, whether it was scoring digits or sweet-talking cops out of speeding tickets. A little voice that sounded suspiciously like his father whispered through his mind. “You’re worthless, muchacho. A dirty little queer like you isn’t going to amount to a hill of beans.” Milo‟s steps faltered. Rather than second-guess himself, he shook off the contrary thought and kept walking, his head held high. His old man was wrong—dead wrong—and Milo would prove it. All he needed was a little time. School took money. Something he didn‟t have at the moment. Otherwise he wouldn‟t be busting his ass waiting tables. Someday though…
Reckless Heart
5
Someday soon, I’m going to prove him wrong about me. I’m going to show him that I didn’t need his help or his damn approval to make something of myself. Then he’ll have to eat every fucking word he said about me. Danny gave Milo a wink as he walked by on his way back to the servers‟ station. Milo swallowed down a smile, his gaze casually taking in the nearly empty dining room. Only three of the twenty-four tables were occupied, including the gentleman at table four. Even for a Thursday night, they were slow. Milo‟s three-tonine shift was already halfway over, and he‟d barely earned more than his hourly wage. Fuck, I really need a different job. If only Cody had been able to talk his uncle into hiring me at the club. God knew Dante wasn‟t going to budge an inch about hiring Milo to shake his ass for all the rich old men who frequented the Casbah, the private men‟s club Dante managed for Cody‟s uncle, Beau. As he moved closer, tiny details about the man grew clearer, things Milo hadn‟t noticed from across the room. The other occupants in the restaurant, as well as the chintzy, down-home decor, faded in comparison to the man‟s potent allure. The noise of silverware tinkling and low conversation dimmed beneath Milo‟s pulse racing in his ears. A heady mixture of lust and nervous energy streamed through him, strengthening his resolve to strike up a rapport with the gentleman dining alone at a booth meant for four. The check crinkled in Milo‟s hand as he stepped up to the table. He took in the man‟s appearance, trying hard not to stare. Beneath the lights, a red tint clung to the thick and wavy hair brushed away from the man‟s high forehead. The auburn hue deepened closer to the sides and back, where the hair was shorn close to the scalp. His skin was clear and reminded Milo of sweet summer peaches dipped into heavy cream. Milo‟s mouth watered, wondering if the man‟s skin would taste nearly as satisfying.
6
Amanda Young
He laid the check facedown. “Here‟s your check, sir. Is there anything else you need this evening?” “No. I‟m good. Thank you.” “All right.” Feeling brash, Milo slid into the seat opposite the man. If he didn‟t take his chances and hit on the guy now, he might never get the chance. “In that case, maybe there‟s something else I can do for you.” A smirk twisted the man‟s full lips. “Oh really?” the man asked in a deep baritone that flipped every one of Milo‟s triggers. “What exactly do you think you can do for me?” Milo leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table, and beckoned the man closer with a come-hither motion. He waited, not saying anything as the man reacted just as Milo had hoped, moving in closer over the red linen-covered tabletop. Seeing his opening, Milo grinned and whispered, “Well, I just made you come with one finger; imagine what I could do with the rest of my body.” Rather than the laugh Milo expected, the man‟s patrician features remained impassive. If anything, his cool green eyes hardened. The guy sat back against the padded booth, his intense gaze never wavering from Milo‟s face. “Is that your idea of a good come-on?” Milo‟s facial muscles relaxed, the grin slowly sliding downward. “Maybe.” Really, what the fuck am I supposed say in response to that? “I thought so.” The stranger shook his head and slid out of the booth. He stood at the head of the table and looked down his long, straight nose at Milo. “Listen, you‟re a cute kid, but contrary to popular belief, I don‟t do innocent little boys. Why don‟t you look me up once you‟ve grown some hair on your balls?” “Excuse me?” Flustered and unable to come up with a suitable reply, Milo could only sit and stare as the older man dropped a twenty on the table and then strode out of the restaurant without a backward glance.
Reckless Heart
7
To put the icing on the cake, the late shift‟s team leader, Jack, hustled by carrying a tray laden with food for one of Milo‟s neglected tables and winked at Milo as if he‟d overheard every single word. Fuck. Humiliated, Milo rose to his feet and hastily made his way back to the servers‟ station. His skin prickled as if everyone in the restaurant had overheard the man‟s snarky reply and was suddenly staring at him. Danny stood in the doorway between the servers‟ station and the kitchen, curiosity written all over his face. He broke away from Lynette, the dishwasher with funky white blonde dreads and a big rack, who he‟d been trying to score with for over a month, and approached Milo. “How‟d it go?” Milo shook his head. “You don‟t want to know.”
*** Any hope Milo had about keeping his rejection on the down low was shot to hell by closing time. The hour between when the restaurant closed and when he was actually able to punch out—during which time the remaining waitstaff did their side work for the next day and the kitchen staff cleaned up—was spent being tormented by his coworkers about how badly he‟d struck out. Danny might have been too busy trying to hit on Lynette to overhear the shameful way Mr. High-and-Mighty had put Milo in his place, but Jack had not. As Milo had feared, the creepy little bastard had overheard it all and gleefully repeated it to anyone willing to stand still and listen, which was pretty much everyone. Rather than giving Milo a lecture on decorum in the workplace, Jack had spread the news, while Milo tried his best to salvage what little pride he had left. In the presence of the others, Milo pretended to laugh it off, accusing the man who‟d rejected him of being a homophobe and anything else he could think of at the spur of the moment. Fortunately he‟d only been working at the restaurant for a few months, so he seriously doubted any of his coworkers were able to see through his act.
8
Amanda Young
By the time Milo clocked out and climbed into his beat-up old Jeep, his nerves were stretched to the breaking point. Rather than go home and listen to his brother get laid through the thin walls separating their bedrooms, Milo decided to take a detour and swing by the Blue Bell Inn. Jonathan Brown, a friend of a friend and someone Milo had traded blowjobs with one night when he was a little too blazed, worked the counter at night and allowed him to sneak into the heated indoor pool after hours and take a dip whenever the urge struck him. Tonight seemed like the perfect evening to go swimming and work off some of his aggravation. There was nothing like a little physical activity to clear the mind. Hopefully when he crawled into the twin bed in Dante‟s spare room, he would be too tired to let his thoughts keep him awake. After parking his car in the visitor‟s lot, Milo grabbed the duffel bag containing his swim trunks and a clean white towel out of the back and sauntered into the hotel as if he belonged there. Although it was unlikely, he didn‟t want to get his friend in trouble on the off chance the guy‟s boss was still hanging around. Just because it hadn‟t happened yet didn‟t mean it wouldn‟t. Pretending to be a guest protected both their asses. Milo strode through the quaint blue and cream lobby and up to the desk. He tapped his finger against the customer-service bell three times in quick succession, then grinned as Jonathan came hustling out of the back room. The smile on Jonathan‟s face rapidly deflated into a disgruntled moue as he spotted Milo. “Oh, it‟s you.” “Yep. It‟s me.” Milo leaned against the counter. “Nice to see you too, ole buddy, ole pal.” “Whatever. You here to use the pool?” “Yeah, as long as the coast is clear tonight.” “It is. The general manager is long gone for the night.” “Sweet. You guys very crowded tonight? The parking lot looks dead.”
Reckless Heart
9
“Nah. It‟s been a slow week. There‟s only a half a dozen or so rooms occupied tonight.” Jonathan glanced down at the monitors behind the desk. “The pool‟s empty, so you should be good to go.” “Thanks. I shouldn‟t be long. I just need to work off a little steam.” Jonathan met Milo‟s gaze head-on. “I can think of a better way to get rid of tension.” “I bet you can.” Milo chuckled. “As much as I appreciate the offer, I doubt I‟d be good company for anyone tonight.” “In that case, I‟m going to go back and finish my dinner before it gets cold.” With a wave, Jonathan disappeared into the room behind the desk. Milo continued on to the pool, his mind lost to the events of earlier. He still couldn‟t get over the conceited bastard at the restaurant. How hard would it have been for the man to just say he wasn‟t interested? He didn‟t have to go out of his way to be an asshole. Some people are just dickheads. After a quick stop by the restroom to slip into his trunks, Milo pushed through the glass door leading to the indoor pool. A line of patio tables clung to the right wall like silent sentinels, waiting for someone to come and make use of them. Milo dropped his bag on the table closest to the door and approached the deep end of the pool. Stopping at the edge, he glanced down at his own reflection in the glassy surface. The whirlpool on the other side of the room burbled quietly, trying to lure him into its turbulent depths. Milo dived into the cool, invigorating water. It lapped at his skin, licking his face and shoulders as he bobbed to the surface and then immediately set up a languorous breaststroke that carried him back and forth across the length of the pool. Slicing through the water, he lost count of the laps, forgot everything but the tense and pull of his muscles working and the smooth drag of the liquid coasting over his flesh.
10
Amanda Young
There was something about swimming he‟d always enjoyed, even more so than pumping iron or running, both of which he used to do when he lived at home and didn‟t have a pool at his disposal. He loved that he could give all his muscles a workout and walk away wiped out without chancing pulled tendons or twisted ankles. He‟d face-planted into the rutted gravel road leading to and from the family farm more than once while running. Not that I need to worry about traveling that road again. Papa made it more than clear I wasn’t welcome back. Milo sped up his pace, his arms cutting through the water while his legs lashed out faster, sending him soaring through the pool. He didn‟t want to think about his parents, his sisters, or any of his nieces and nephews. They didn‟t give a shit about him anymore, so he wasn‟t going to spend a single second worrying about them. To do so was senselessness. Dante had warned him as much. If their family had never come around and accepted Dante in all the years he‟d been gone, then any hope of Milo‟s being welcomed back into the fold was a waste of time. Milo‟s tempo slowed, his anger draining away along with the last of his energy. He met the wall on the shallow end of the pool and pulled himself up against the lip. He rested his head on his forearms and gulped in air as he tried to catch his breath. The door slapped open and then closed, bringing a rush of cool air along with it. Milo looked up and inwardly swore at the man who entered the room. “Well, well, well…” Milo lifted his upper body farther out of the water. “If it isn‟t Mr. High-and-Mighty.”
Reckless Heart
11
Chapter Two The brunet kicked off his flip-flops, removed his robe, and dropped it over the back of the nearest deck chair. He walked toward Milo with a slow, hip-rolling gait that called attention to the tight black trunks clinging to his package. “I‟m sorry. Have we met?” “You might say that.” Milo dragged his attention away from the man‟s groin as his pride took another nosedive. It had only been hours since he‟d hit on this man and been rebuffed, and the asshole didn‟t even recognize him. “We met at Pearl‟s.” “I see.” The stranger casually walked around the side of the pool, giving Milo a good long look at his tight ass, and dived into the deep end. Within seconds, he resurfaced and pinned Milo with an inquisitive stare. “I don‟t remember you.” “Well, why should you?” Milo waded to the cement steps leading into the pool and sat, stretching his legs out in front of him. “You only acted like a jackass and then stormed out of the restaurant as if I‟d offended your delicate sensibilities.” “Excuse me? I acted like a jackass?” The stranger narrowed the gap between them, slicing through the water with smooth strokes. He stopped a few feet from Milo and stood, the chiseled proportions of his upper body rising out of the water while the lower half remained shrouded by liquid. “As I recall, you‟re the one who came up to me when I was minding my own business, just trying to have a quiet bite to eat, and tried to pick me up with the cheesiest line I‟ve ever heard.” Milo bristled. “I thought you said you didn‟t remember me.” The stranger shrugged, casting ripples in the water surrounding his narrow hips. “You look different wet.” Bullshit. “The only thing different about me is the lack of my work uniform.”
12
Amanda Young
The stranger‟s piercing green gaze turned molten as it slid down Milo‟s body. “Exactly.” Contrary to the aggravation he expected to feel toward the man in front of him, Milo suffered the effects of that heated glance. Even knowing the stranger was a snob—and most likely a closeted asshole to boot—Milo‟s attraction remained resolute. If anything, it had grown by leaps and bounds since he‟d gotten a glimpse of the nearly naked man‟s charms. Why do I always want what I can’t have? It had to be a psychological problem. Then again, it could have just been the simple fact that the jackass standing not three feet away looked even better out of his expensive clothes than he did in them. Either way, I’m fucked. Maybe literally—if I’m lucky. Milo openly regarded the stranger. Although he couldn‟t say he wanted to be friends with the guy, he couldn‟t deny the longing to see the older man‟s pretty lips wrapped around his dick, which just so happened to be one surefire way to keep the jerk from running his mouth and killing the mood before Milo could get off. Asshole or not, the man was fine. Milo had always been attracted to tall, confident brunets. The hint of a reddish tint to the other man‟s hair further whetted Milo‟s curiosity. Rumor had it redheads were wild in bed. If given the chance, Milo wouldn‟t mind finding out whether that tidbit was fact or fiction. It had been a shitty day, and Milo could use a little stress relief. Who better to relieve his frustration than the jerk who was partly to blame? Milo feigned a yawn and stretched, flexing his biceps and pecs. From beneath his eyelashes, he studied the stranger‟s response—a slight flare of the nostrils, a barely discernible tightening of the guy‟s jaw beneath a heavy five-o‟clock shadow— and wanted to cheer. The wealthy bastard might not like being attracted to a lowly food jockey, but all the signs were there.
Reckless Heart
13
If I want him, he’s mine. Milo grinned. “I‟m Milo, by the way.” “Cam.” “So, Cam…” Milo reclined back a little farther, resting his weight on his elbows, and spread his legs. “Does this mean you‟re rethinking my proposition?” “That depends.” “On what?” Water rippled around Cam as he moved closer. He kept coming until his legs brushed against Milo‟s knees beneath the water. “On what you‟re offering.” Feeling contrary, Milo decided to make the man sweat a little before he answered. He glanced down to where their legs touched and took his sweet time lifting his gaze up over Cam‟s body, as if he were scrutinizing a prime piece of meat. He visually inspected the muscular, hair-roughened length of Cam‟s thighs, mentally caressed the impressive curvature of his package beneath the tight spandex of his swim trunks. His hips were narrow; his abdomen, flat and corded with muscle. Milo followed the trail of dark hair beneath Cam‟s navel upward to where dark, straight hair feathered across his firm pectorals and wreathed small, taut nipples the color of pale peaches. Milo yearned to lean in and bite them. He wanted to clutch Cam‟s broad shoulders, sink his fingers into the tough sinew and bone, and run his tongue up Cam‟s throat. His mouth watered to take a nip out of the older man‟s chiseled jaw, lick the stubble shadowing Cam‟s cheeks, and then kiss him senseless. Feeling brash, Milo cricked his finger at Cam. “Come here, and I‟ll show you what I‟m offering.” “Right here?” Cam moved closer, his legs brushing the insides of Milo‟s knees. “Don‟t you think that‟s a little risky?” Milo‟s smile felt wicked. “Do you have a better idea?”
14
Amanda Young
“Actually, I do.” Cam held out his hand. “Why don‟t you come back to my room? I‟m sure I can make it worth your while.” “I just bet you will.” Milo rested his hand within Cam‟s, unsurprised to find his prospective lover‟s palm soft and free of calluses. He had no idea what Cam did for a living, but he‟d bet his next paycheck it wasn‟t manual labor. Although Cam‟s body was toned and fit, he wasn‟t overly muscular. There was just the right amount of definition to his shoulders and biceps. Milo figured a good amount of money was invested in the maintenance of Cam‟s perfect form, and he would gladly reap the benefits. He allowed Cam to tug him up out of the water and into his waiting arms. A giddy rush of anticipation ran through him. He‟d known he wanted Cam since the moment he‟d laid eyes on the older man at the restaurant. Now he was going to have him. Milo shivered, partly from the caress of air on his damp skin, but mostly due to the contrasting heat of Cam‟s warm body pressed flush against him. His pulse thundered as Cam‟s head descended, anticipation building inside him. Firm lips converged with his and coerced him to return each gentle caress. Cam licked at Milo‟s mouth, seeking entry, and Milo was all too happy to relent. He parted his lips and met Cam‟s tongue halfway, urging Cam on. He couldn‟t wait to get Cam upstairs and naked. While they kissed, Milo ran his hands up Cam‟s biceps, testing the heft of his soon-to-be-lover‟s muscles. Cam flexed, and his biceps went rock hard beneath Milo‟s fingers. Milo gave them a squeeze. Cam pulled back. “We should get out of here.” He was tempted to lean in for another taste of what Cam was offering. Instead he nodded and released his grip on Cam‟s arms. “Lead the way.”
Reckless Heart
15
Chapter Three No words were exchanged as Milo followed Cam into the elevator and then down a long, dark hallway toward the room. None needed to be. They both knew why they were there and what was going to happen, if not the fine details. Anticipation made Milo‟s blood run hot. The pads of his fingers itched to reach out and grab Cam, spin the taller man around, and take a sample of what awaited them on the other side of the hotel room door. Instead Milo stood by patiently while Cam slid the thin key card into the lock and waited for the green light to flash. The moment it did, Cam moved forward, and Milo followed. He‟d barely crossed the threshold before Cam twisted around and pushed him into the wall. The door was kicked shut; then Cam pressed against Milo, towering over him by a couple of inches. Cam slanted his head and bent slowly. “Last chance to change your mind.” As if that’s going to happen. Milo took hold of Cam‟s biceps and licked his lips. “Kiss me.” “Patience.” The corners of Cam‟s lips twitched. “Maybe I want to take a moment to look at you.” “All right.” Milo fidgeted, his impatience mounting. “You going to be through looking anytime soon?” Without a word, Cam gripped Milo‟s chin and tilted his head back. He closed the scant inches separating them and brushed his lips over Milo‟s, softly at first and then with more force. He skimmed his tongue over Milo‟s lower lip and the tender flesh within.
16
Amanda Young
The small whine that slipped free of Milo‟s control was pitiful and damn embarrassing. He didn‟t mind moaning, but he damn sure didn‟t want to be the only one making noise. Rather than dwell on it, he threw himself into the kiss in an effort to make Cam as hot and bothered as he felt. The older man‟s lips were soft and warm, his breath imbued with a hint of mint. Milo dipped his tongue inside and swirled it around, tempting Cam to play with him. Cam didn‟t disappoint. He returned Milo‟s every move with at least two of his own. The seductive drag of damp, malleable flesh went to Milo‟s head quicker than the liquor that was forbidden to him for another three years. His mind spun with the myriad things he and Cam could do to ease the ache steadily building in his groin. He shifted his hips, searching for a modicum of relief, and found the firm weight of Cam‟s upper thigh instead. Cam slipped his knee between Milo‟s legs and provided something solid for him to grind against. However, the respite he sought wasn‟t to be. The additional pressure only served to torment him more. Cam pulled his mouth away from Milo‟s and tracked downward, kissing over his cheek and jaw. A hot tongue slithered over the lobe of Milo‟s ear; the wicked appendage dipped into the hollow and then retreated. “Top or bottom?” Humid air caressed the side of Milo‟s face and neck. He shivered. “Neither. I‟ll suck your brains out through your cock, but I don‟t fuck people I don‟t know.” Cam raked his teeth down Milo‟s throat. “Your mouth will work just fine.” Without further prompting, Milo dropped to his knees and buried his face against the damp, clingy fabric hiding Cam‟s groin from his sight. He inhaled the scent of rutting male mixed with a hint of chlorine and rubbed his cheek against the hard outline of Cam‟s cock. The stiff proof of Cam‟s need was the only reassurance Milo needed to confirm he wasn‟t alone in his desire. Unable to stand the suspense for a minute longer, Milo slid his fingers beneath the slick material and yanked the shorts down to Cam‟s ankles. Faced with Cam‟s impressive package, Milo licked his lips. Thanks to the short, tight swim trunks,
Reckless Heart
17
he‟d already guessed Cam was hung. However, speculating and seeing were two very different things. Cam‟s thick rod jutted forward and curved slightly upward, topped by a fat, flushed crown. Milo couldn‟t wait to get his mouth around it. He leaned in, aware of Cam‟s gaze following his every move, and decided at the last second to make the arrogant man squirm a little before he got what he wanted. Milo kissed Cam‟s abs and dipped his tongue into the man‟s shallow navel. Cam gasped and wiggled. Milo continued to take his time; he inched lower, dragging his tongue down the flat plane of Cam‟s lower stomach. Cam‟s sleek thighs tensed. “Fuck, Milo… You‟re killing me. Just suck me and put me out of my misery.” “Mm…” Milo licked the smooth groove between Cam‟s torso and thigh. “I‟m only getting started.” He skirted around the hefty weight of Cam‟s erection in favor of the heavy sac below and ran the back of his fingers over Cam‟s balls. He bent and followed the path of his fingers with his tongue, lapping at the delicate, wrinkled flesh. The sparse hair tickled his tongue, while the skin beneath was soft and warm. Cam tasted good and smelled better, like musk and clean sweat, just as a man was supposed to. Milo took one delicate orb into his mouth, laved it with the tip of his tongue, and then moved on to the other, giving it the same attention. While gazing upward, Milo wrapped his fist around Cam‟s dick and loosely pumped up and down. He squeezed the swollen head, felt the sensitive cap pulse, and was swiftly rewarded with Cam‟s gasp. “Like that?” Milo asked, watching Cam‟s face in order to gauge his sincerity. “Uh-huh.” Cam‟s slumberous gaze slowly lifted from the spot where Milo‟s mouth hovered over his fat knob, and met Milo‟s eyes. The older man‟s cheeks were flushed, his bottom lip swollen below the grip of his straight white teeth. He licked his lips and exhaled. “Keep going. Swallow me.” With a nod, Milo glanced down and watched Cam‟s cock slide through the closed ring of his fingers. The swollen cap appeared darker with every pass, flushed
18
Amanda Young
with blood and plump with longing. A single bead of moisture pooled in the tiny slit, glistening in the low light. He tightened his hold and leaned in to lick the single tear of moisture off the tip. The flavor of Cam‟s precum burst over his palate, subtle and yet imbibed with the tang of what was yet to come. It made him wonder what the real thing would taste like. Would it be copious or thin, bitter or tasteless? There was only one way to find out. Milo loosened his jaw, dipped his head, and slid his lips over the head and sensitive, spongy rim. He flicked his tongue back and forth, teasing just a bit, and then swallowed Cam all the way down to where his fist still held the base of Cam‟s shaft steady. Just because he wasn‟t able to deep throat didn‟t mean he couldn‟t make Cam feel damn good. Just because this encounter was a onetime thing didn‟t mean he didn‟t want Cam to look back and remember him fondly long after they parted ways. Unlike some people who used blowjobs as a means to an end, Milo loved every single aspect of giving head. Particularly the smell of flushed skin and the musky taste of rising passion. Being in control of his partner‟s pleasure gave Milo a rush unlike anything else, even being on the receiving end. The harder he worked Cam‟s cock, his hand and mouth moving in concert, the stronger the scent of Cam‟s passion grew, until every breath Milo took was laden with testosterone and Cam‟s raw, earthy essence. He ran his free hand over Cam‟s thighs and washboard stomach, then followed the treasure trail upward until he reached the silky hair spreading across Cam‟s pecs. Using the pad of his forefinger, Milo circled one taut nipple and tweaked it. Cam growled and bucked his hips, shuttling his cock in and out of Milo‟s mouth faster. “Fuck, yes. Don‟t stop.” Milo ignored the slight ache in his jaw and kept going. Nothing short of the room catching on fire was going to make him give up his treat before Cam was finished.
Reckless Heart
19
Cam‟s thighs tensed, and the muscles in his abdomen clenched. “Christ… Not gonna be much longer.” Right then and there, Milo decided Cam wasn‟t going to come alone. He could be patient and hope Cam would return the favor after he was finished, or he could get off on Cam‟s pleasure and make sure he crossed the finish line in the meantime. Patience had never been one of his strong suits. While he continued to suck Cam off, Milo slid his right hand inside the waistband of his trunks and shoved one side down over his hip. The material caught on his hard cock and wouldn‟t budge. Growling in frustration, he turned his attention to the opposite side and yanked, getting his shorts low enough to free his aching prick. Sighing in relief, Milo dragged his lips up Cam‟s shaft at the same time he wrapped his fingers around his own dick. He pumped from base to tip, moaning around Cam‟s cock as heat spiraled down his rod and settled in his balls. He tightened his grip, squeezing the head, and felt his pleasure spike in warning. It wasn‟t going to take him long to finish. With that thought in mind, he pulled his mouth up Cam‟s length until only the fat head rested between his lips. There, he laved the shallow depression beneath the cap and pushed the very tip of his tongue into the slit, lapping up the tiny offering of precum that lingered in the opening. “Fuck.” Cam fisted his hands in Milo‟s hair. “Do that again.” The desperation in Cam‟s deep voice sent a pang of longing straight to Milo‟s core. He whimpered and did as Cam asked, fucking the slit with small flicks of his tongue. Down below, he propelled his hand over his erection, twisting and pulling with gusto. When he thought Cam had had enough, he plunged back down the man‟s thick shaft and ground his lips against his fist. In the back of his mind, he wished he could take the remaining inches and bury his nose in the curls around Cam‟s root.
20
Amanda Young
He wanted to swallow Cam down. He just wished he could do it without choking himself to death in the process. Wishing, however, was useless. Using as much suction as he could, he concentrated on working the head and uppermost inches of Cam‟s dick in a fast back-and-forth rhythm designed to finish a man off quickly. “Fuck, Milo.” Cam groaned and shuddered. “I‟m coming.” Milo had less than a second to brace himself before Cam‟s dick swelled and burst, filling his mouth with briny fluid. He swallowed and gentled the suction, nursing on the fat crown to get the final drops of liquid ecstasy. The taste and smell of Cam‟s release propelled Milo right over the edge. His tempo stuttered as his orgasm rushed over him in a swift burst of pleasure, spilling onto the floor between his knees. Cam slid down to his knees and pulled Milo to him, kissing him soundly. Milo returned the embrace halfheartedly, languor making his lips slack and pliable. Cam didn‟t seem to be much better off. After only a moment, Cam eased away and stood up. “I have to piss.” “Um, okay…” Milo stayed on his knees and watched Cam‟s ass as he walked into the bathroom. The minute the door closed behind him, Milo was up on his feet and fixing his trunks. Awkwardness was setting in, and he didn‟t plan to hang around long enough for Cam to politely ask him to leave. Normally he might have suggested sharing a shower, caught a few z‟s, and waited to see if there was the chance of a nice sweaty round of morning sex before he took off. Cam didn‟t seem like the kind of man who wanted someone to stay once he‟d served his purpose though. Milo wasn‟t going to sit around and wait to be discarded with the trash. He might not have much to call his own, but he had his pride.
Reckless Heart
21
Chapter Four The door slammed open, hit the wall with a resounding bang, and jerked Milo from a sound sleep. He rubbed his gritty eyes and stared at his brother, Dante, who stood in the doorway. “What?” “Aren‟t you going to get that?” Dante pointed to the alarm clock. Reaching over to the nightstand by the bed, Milo slapped at the alarm clock to stop the incessant buzzing. Seeing the time, he swore and jerked upright. “Shit. I slept through the alarm again.” After jumping from bed, Milo rushed into the en suite bathroom and brushed his teeth and hair, pulling the whole mess back into a haphazard ponytail at the base of his neck. He flew out of the can and hurried around the room, grabbing his spare work uniform and clean underthings. He‟d showered upon arriving home the night before, so at least he didn‟t have to worry about taking the time to bathe. He was going to be late for his afternoon shift at the restaurant as it was. “Don‟t you have anything to say for yourself?” Milo stopped what he was doing and glanced at his brother. “Huh?” “You said you were coming home after work last night. I waited up until after midnight, hoping to talk to you.” “Plans change, Dante. I‟m sorry you stayed up, but I didn‟t know you wanted to talk to me.” “I called your cell phone half a dozen times and left messages.”
Amanda Young
22
Milo grabbed clean socks out of the dresser by the door and sat on the edge of the bed to put them on. “The battery died on me yesterday. I forgot to charge it again.” “Damn it, Milo. I pay the bill on your cell phone; the least you could do is make sure you keep it juiced up.” “I forgot. Okay?” Milo jerked his pants on and zipped them up. “It isn‟t the end of the world. Just lay off.” “I don‟t think I‟m asking that much of you. All I want is for you to be a little more responsible. You‟re eighteen, not twelve. It‟s past time for you to grow up and act like you have a little sense. Life is not a twenty-four-hour-a-day, seven-day-aweek party.” “I never said it was.” Milo slipped his feet into his sneakers and tied up the laces. “You sure as hell act like it. I didn‟t take you in so you could stay out all night and party with those little juvenile delinquents you call friends.” “So you‟ve said over and over again.” Milo pulled a maroon-colored polo shirt over his head, tucked it into his pants, and buttoned them up. Once finished, he rose to his full height and met his brother‟s glare. “Thank you so much for letting me be your latest charity project. You should be nominated for sainthood, Dante. Really.” In too foul a mood to risk saying anything more, Milo grabbed his wallet and keys off the dresser and brushed past Dante. The need to piss weighed heavily on his bladder. He ignored it. He should have gone while he was in the bathroom, but it was too late to do anything about it now. He could use the restroom at work. He wasn‟t going to get into a fight with Dante when he was already running late. “I‟m not finished talking to you, Milo.” Dante followed Milo out of the room and down the short hallway into the living room, where Cody sat on the couch, flipping through the television channels. “As long as you live under my roof—”
Reckless Heart
23
“Fine,” Milo interrupted. “I‟ll leave. I don‟t want to live with another asshole anyway. You‟re no better than Papa. Oh you try to talk a good game, but you aren‟t any different. You just want me to work and stay locked up inside, where none of my deviant friends can get at my ass.” “Hey now,” Cody said, getting up and moving to stand beside Dante. “That‟s not fair, Milo. Dante isn‟t trying to control your life or change who you are. He was just worried about you. You were out all night, and it‟s not like it‟s the first time.” “Stay out of it, Cody. Just because you‟re fucking my brother doesn‟t give you the right to tell me what to do. Hell, you‟re barely a year older than me.” “Hey!” Dante hollered. “That‟s about enough of your smart mouth. I‟m not going to stand by and let you talk to Cody like that. He‟s only trying to help.” “Whatever.” Milo threw his hands up in the air. “I‟m outta here.” Milo walked out the door without a backward glance. It wasn‟t until he was halfway down the stairs that the rushing echo of footsteps rang out behind him. “Milo! Wait up.” Cody‟s voice rang out, loud in the enclosed stairwell. “Hold on a second.” Milo stopped and backed up against the wall, watching as Cody jogged down the stairs. “What do you want?” “To help. I didn‟t follow you out here to give you a hard time.” “I don‟t need your help.” Milo crossed his arms over his chest. “I can take care of myself.” “I‟m sure you can, but your brother will be a huge pain in my ass if he has to spend the night worrying about you again.” “I thought you liked that sort of thing.” “Yeah, well…” Cody shrugged, a grin tugging at the corners of his full lips. “Let‟s just say there‟s a good pain and a bad one. Your brother can be a bit of a bear when he wants to, but you have to realize he means well. He‟s only concerned about you.”
Amanda Young
24
Milo rolled his eyes. “Uh-huh.” “Don‟t push Dante away, Milo. He loves you, and you‟re the only family he has left.” Guilt gnawed at the edges of Milo‟s conscience. He knew he was being an asshole, but he couldn‟t seem to help it. “I have to go.” “All right. I just want you to know that I‟m here if you want to talk. Believe it or not, I‟m not the enemy.” “I know that—and I appreciate the offer—but I really need to get to work right now.” “Okay. Well, I‟ll see you later tonight, then. Right?” “Yeah… Uh, bye.” Milo turned, gave a backward wave, and trotted down the stairs.
*** By the time Milo let himself into the apartment later that evening, guilt was eating him up inside for the bratty way he‟d behaved earlier. Why he let his mouth run away from him was a mystery. Not being a morning person wasn‟t a good enough excuse for being an asshole to the one person who still cared about him. As testy as he‟d been lately, he was surprised Dante hadn‟t given up on him and booted his ass out onto the street. At the very least, he owed his brother one hell of an apology. Pocketing his keys, Milo headed into the living room, where he could hear the television playing quietly. He found Dante sitting on the sofa, watching some World War II documentary. Dante looked up as Milo entered the room. “Hey.” “Hi.” Milo offered a tremulous smile. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” “Always.” Dante patted the sofa. “Come over here and tell me what‟s on your mind.”
Reckless Heart
25
“About this morning…” Milo perched on the end of the couch, sitting sideways so he could see his brother. “I was out of line, and I‟m really sorry I was such a brat. After everything you‟ve done for me, you don‟t deserve to be—” “Hang on there for a second,” Dante interrupted. “Before you start spewing gratitude all over me, you should know that I‟m not doing anything special. So what if I‟m letting you stay here? You‟re my brother. It‟s the least I could do.” “No, it‟s not. The least you could do is nothing at all.” Just like their sisters had when the shit hit the fan. “Listen, kid…” Dante frowned. “I know life has dealt you a shitty hand, but you have to brush the chip off your shoulder and let it go. Unless the pope himself gives us his stamp of approval, there isn‟t anything we can do to change Mama and Papa‟s opinion about homosexuality. All we can do is live our lives the best we can and be happy. If you can do that, then you‟ve won.” Milo lowered his head, his eyesight suddenly blurry. “I didn‟t realize it was a competition.” “Life is a competition. Everyone wants to be better looking, better hung, and more loaded than the next guy. Anyone who tells you differently is lying.” “Yeah, I guess.” Milo could see Dante‟s point. Sort of. He blinked, trying to will away the moisture clouding his vision. “Speaking of people who may not always tell you the truth, I feel like I should ask if you‟re being careful.” Dante cleared his throat. “Are you? Using protection, I mean.” Milo laughed through his tears. “Yes, I‟m being careful. I‟m young, not stupid.” “All right. I just wanted to make sure.” “We don‟t need to have the birds-and-bees discussion.” Milo glanced at his brother. The uncomfortable expression on his face was enough to send Milo into another bout of laughter.
26
Amanda Young
Dante launched forward and grabbed Milo, winding his arm around Milo‟s neck in a classic headlock. “It‟s not funny, twerp.” Milo chuckled harder. “It is so.” Hard knuckles rubbed over Milo‟s skull. He squirmed, trying to break free. “All right. Enough already.” Dante released Milo and sat back against the sofa. “So are we cool now? I‟ll promise to try to back off and be less of a control freak, if you give me your word that you won‟t rush off and do anything foolish. I know you‟re old enough to make your own decisions, but I worry about you.” “Yeah.” Milo nodded, grateful his brother cared. “We‟re good.”
Reckless Heart
27
Chapter Five Campbell Brooks sat outside, toward the back of a small group of people, and fought his natural inclination to fidget on the small white chair under his ass. He didn‟t do mushy weddings. Yet here he was, impatiently waiting for a commitment ceremony between an old acquaintance from the neighborhood where he‟d grown up and a man he‟d never met. He wasn‟t sure how he‟d managed to get wrangled into coming to Beaumont Bradbury‟s wedding. One minute he‟d been standing in line at the post office, and the next he was greeting Beau and promising to swing by the man‟s upcoming nuptials. He blamed it on the impeccable manners his mother had drilled into him since birth. They worked against him at the damnedest times. But then, Beau had always been a sneaky bastard. He wouldn‟t have succeeded in business for so long otherwise. You have to respect a man who can get exactly what he wants and make it look easy. Honestly Cam was a little curious about the kind of man who could make an old dog like Beau settle down. The previous October when Cam had come home for his annual visit, Beau had been footloose and fancy-free. Cam knew this because he‟d swung by the club—of which he was a seldom-visiting member—and witnessed Beau flirting up a storm with more than one cute twink. It was going to be interesting to see what kind of person had not only caught Beau‟s interest and held it, but somehow managed to convince the wealthy business owner to strap on the old ball and chain as well.
28
Amanda Young
Personally, Cam would rather be shot than tie himself down to one man. With his luck, he‟d commit to someone who would make him miserable. Just like his mother had. Cam glanced around at the people and the scenery. He appreciated that the couple hadn‟t gone overboard on the decorations. They‟d made optimum use of the flat space between the pool behind the house and the woods beyond, placing a section of white chairs to one side and a large white tent on the other. A pristine white runner separated the grouping of chairs, which faced a large, vine-covered trellis where the couple would no doubt stand and take their vows. From where Cam sat, he could just make out round tables covered in white and blue tablecloths and a long line of serving tables against the back wall within the tent to his right. Covered dishes sat stacked side by side, in place for the voracious crowd after the festivities. Cam wondered if there would be an open bar. A stiff drink would hit the spot right about then. He recognized a few faces in the crowd as local business owners, though there weren‟t many. He had to assume the majority of the several dozen people in attendance were probably friends, since most of Beau‟s family was deceased. Then again, maybe Beau‟s intended came from a large family. Cam didn‟t have a clue. He just knew he was the odd man out; being neither a close friend nor family, he wasn‟t sure why he‟d been invited. It‟d been years since he‟d done more than say hello to Beau in passing. Before Cam could get too antsy, two men dressed in gray morning coats, pinstriped trousers, along with ivory waistcoats and cravats appeared and took position on either side of the vine-covered trellis. Cam recognized the petite blond as Beau‟s nephew, Cody. The young man looked just like a younger, slimmer version of his uncle. The second man was Dante Santiago, the guy who ran Beau‟s club. Cam recognized his swarthy good looks easily enough. However, there was something new about Dante that captivated Cam‟s attention, whereas he‟d never felt more
Reckless Heart
29
than a passing interest in the other man before. Unfortunately he couldn‟t quite put his finger on what had changed. Perhaps it’s the grin. The older man looked happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him crack a smile. Everyone stood and turned toward the back of the group as violin music began to pipe through sound speakers Cam couldn‟t see. Whoever had hidden them had done a damn good job of it. Although the sweeping melody was beautiful, it did weird things to Cam‟s mood. To him, the ballad seemed a shade depressing. Quite possibly, that could be blamed on his habit of equating weddings to funerals. In his opinion, they usually amounted to the same thing. As much as he‟d like to believe in the fairy tale of love everlasting, he had a hard time buying into the concept. He‟d witnessed one too many people use love as a reason to stick around long after their relationships should have been dead and buried. Love was a term codependent individuals exploited just so they would feel better about giving in to their fear of being alone. But then he would be the first person to admit he was jaded. It wasn‟t as if he didn‟t have his reasons. Beau and a raven-haired man strode down the aisle. The couple was dressed in matching black morning suits with pristine ivory waistcoats and baby blue cravats. Their fingers were entwined, each man clinging to the other‟s hand as they approached. Cam had to admit the younger of the two men was attractive, if one went for the twinkish look. The dark curls and large brown eyes were charming, as were the slightly nervous smiles he cast the guests as the couple neared. Beau, on the other hand, appeared distinguished and handsome. Frankly, Cam would have expected no less. More than the hand-holding or even the event itself, the serene expression on Beau‟s face assured Cam of the other man‟s happiness. No matter his feelings on love, Cam was pleased for his old friend. Beau was a good man who deserved to have someone he cared about in his life.
Amanda Young
30
Cam winked at Beau as the couple passed, then turned and followed them with his gaze as they made their way to stand before the trellis. As the couple reached the clearing in front of the guests, another groomsman and a young boy dressed in a plain gray suit hurried to take their places opposite Cody and Dante. The curly-headed child tugged at Beau‟s intended husband‟s jacket. “Sorry, Daddy. I had to pee.” The crowd tittered in wake of the boy‟s excuse for being late. Almost as one, everyone took their seats. Laughing, Beau let go of his fiancé‟s hand and faced the crowd. “Before we begin, we‟d like to thank everyone for joining us today. We truly appreciate all of you coming out and showing your support. We hope you‟ll bear with us while we buck tradition and do our own thing this afternoon. You see, rather than arrange for someone to officiate, Adam and I have decided to write our vows and recite them here, in front of you all.” Cam barely heard Beau‟s speech. He was too busy staring at the young man who‟d ushered the little boy to stand beside Beau‟s fiancé. He couldn‟t believe his luck. It was none other than Milo, the guy Cam had hooked up with earlier in the week. Dressed in the same style as the other groomsmen, Milo nevertheless stood out and stole Cam‟s attention. His straight, shoulder-length hair swung loose around his face, every silky strand shining like polished black onyx in the midday sun. The ivory cravat offset Milo‟s supple, bronzed skin and seemed to amplify his strength and vitality. Cam knew firsthand how the bronze tint of Milo‟s skin extended from head to toe, with nary a tan line to be found. He‟d been looking forward to exploring every inch—something that rarely happened after he was sated—except the little shit had sneaked out of the hotel room while Cam was in the bathroom.
Reckless Heart
31
Uncomfortable with the direction his thoughts were taking, Cam shifted in his seat and tried to put his attention back where it belonged. He glanced at the intended couple, who now stood facing each other, their hands linked between them. Beau smiled at his partner-to-be. “Adam, I struggled a bit to come up with the right words to say today, something fresh and new that I haven‟t already told you time and again. My vows are simple but heartfelt. “Today, in front of all of our friends and family, I make a solemn vow to share your joy and your sorrow, to be the shoulder you cry on and your pillar of strength. I promise to be your best friend, and most of all, your never-ending fountain of love and support. Will you take this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion?” Adam cleared his throat. “I will.” Beau slipped the band onto Adam‟s ring finger. Once it was seated, he turned Adam‟s hand over and kissed his palm. Cam sat up a little straighter and leaned forward to better hear how the younger man—Adam—would respond. “Beau…” Adam‟s voice wavered, then grew stronger. “On this day, I join my life to yours, not merely as your partner, but as your friend, your lover, and your confidant. All that I am and all that I have, I offer to you in love and in joy. From this day forward, I will love and comfort you, hold you close, prize you above all others. Will you accept my ring as a token of my love for you?” Beau nodded. “I will.” Adam slipped the ring on Beau‟s finger, and the two men embraced. As the newlyweds kissed, Cam allowed his gaze to wander over to Milo. The young man fidgeted, switching from one foot to the other. The small boy beside Milo clung to his hand like a lifeline, swinging his arm back and forth. Milo appeared to look at anything and everything but the kissing couple. Cam found that both odd and telling. It seemed as if young Milo had a problem with public displays of affection.
32
Amanda Young
As if the younger man could feel Cam‟s stare, Milo‟s gaze lifted and met his through the celebrating crowd. Milo‟s dark eyes widened ever so slightly, a barely perceivable frown line marring the smooth skin between his brows. Unable to resist a little innocent flirting, Cam winked. Milo‟s features smoothed, a broad grin replacing his frown. They stared at each other, electricity practically crackling in the air between them. The seated masses rose to their feet and began to clap and whistle, cutting off Cam‟s view of Milo and the happy couple. Right then and there, Cam decided to congratulate Beau and get the hell out of there. Milo was cute and had a mouth with better suction than a vacuum cleaner, but Cam wasn‟t going to be in town long enough to get to know him. As much as he‟d like another go at that pretty mouth, it would be selfish to lead Milo on and let him believe there could ever be anything real or lasting between them.
*** Milo waited as long as he could—about fifteen seconds after Beau and Adam stopped smooching and a crowd of well-wishers descended upon them—to hand little Johnny off to his father. He clapped Adam on the back, said “congratulations,” then approached Cody before he could follow the newly wedded couple into the tent to cut the cake or whatever it was they were supposed to do next. “Can you see the good-looking guy toward the back there?” Milo nodded toward where he‟d last seen Cam, now blocked by half a dozen men and one woman with a huge blue hat. Cody craned his neck and then frowned. “Uh no. I don‟t think so. Unless you‟re definition of attractive includes a spare tire and a bald spot. Why?” “The guy who was sitting on the end of the back row. He has short, kind of reddish brown hair and is wearing a black suit.” “You mean Campbell Brooks?” So that’s his name. “Yeah, him.” Cody grinned. “What about him?”
Reckless Heart
33
“I don‟t know. Just… Who is he?” “He‟s Campbell Brooks.” “Um, yeah. Smart-ass. You said that already.” Cody chuckled. “His dad owns that big house on the hill right outside of town. You know, the one with the towers and shit.” “And?” “And what? I don‟t really know that much about him.” Dante sauntered up behind Cody and wrapped his arms around Cody‟s midsection. “Don‟t know much about who?” Cody twisted and kissed Dante‟s cheek. “Milo was asking about Campbell Brooks.” Dante frowned. “Why?” “Why not?” Milo countered with a scowl. Dante released Cody and stood up straight. “Just mind your own business and stay away from the man.” “Excuse me?” Milo folded his arms over his chest and ignored the way the movement pulled at the shoulders of his rented suit. “Don‟t tell me what to do. You‟re not my father.” “You should be glad I‟m not Papa. You know how well he reacted to finding out you like dick. Imagine how he‟d feel if he knew the person you wanted to bump uglies with?” “Yeah, well… Whatever. Just stop trying to act like him.” “I‟m not. It‟s just”—Dante waved his right hand—“Campbell Brooks is too old for you.” Milo rolled his eyes. “Uh-huh.” Cody laid a hand on Dante‟s arm. “As much as I hate to take the brat‟s side, you don‟t have much room to talk on the age issue.”
34
Amanda Young
“Stay out of this,” Dante snapped, turning to glare at Cody. Cody propped his hands on his hips and glared right back. “Well excuse me for being alive. The last time I checked, it‟s a free country, and I‟m allowed to speak my mind if I want to, even if that means disagreeing with you, Mr. Hypocrite.” Milo slipped away while his brother and Cody were busy bickering. He hated that he‟d started an argument, but Dante really needed to buy a clue and stop acting like Milo was too dumb to make his own choices. He was doing everything in his power to better himself after being summarily dumped by their parents and having his life turned upside down. What the hell did Dante want from him? Milo was working, saving up for college, and behaving himself—mostly. Sure, he liked to go out and hang with his friends on occasion. What eighteen-year-old didn‟t? He appreciated his brother allowing him to crash in the guest room until he was ready to move out on his own, but enough was enough. Just because he was living under Dante‟s roof didn‟t give his brother the right to boss him around. If something didn‟t change soon, Milo was going to have to move out earlier than anticipated—which would unfortunately put college on hold for a while longer. All he could do was hope it didn‟t come to that. He really needed to sit down and have a long talk with his brother. That, however, would have to wait. Milo headed toward the tent in search of his prospective date for the night. Unless Cam had already left, Milo figured the older man would probably be in there with the rest of the crowd. Since Beau and Adam had decided on a small guest list, Milo didn‟t have any trouble spotting his prey. Cam stood near the drink fountain at the back of the tent. He was clutching a flute of champagne and chatting with an older man dressed in a gray pin-striped suit. Judging by his bland expression and the way he kept glancing at the people around him, Milo thought Cam looked anything but at ease in his surroundings. Milo could relate. While he couldn‟t be happier for Adam and Beau, a crowd of mushy, middle-aged fuddy-duddies wasn‟t really his scene either.
Reckless Heart
35
He decided to swoop in and save Cam in the hopes of earning some brownie points, which would add to the chances of him getting laid later in the evening. Excitement raced through him and made his nerve endings sing. Would Cam forgive him for sneaking out of the hotel? If he were being honest with himself, Milo had to admit he was interested in far more than knocking boots with Cam. In spite of his arrogance, the older man intrigued him. Milo wanted to learn more about Cam—right after they got busy again. Noticing a lapse in the conversation, Milo approached Cam from behind and laid his hand on Cam‟s shoulder to get his attention. “Sorry to interrupt, but you‟re needed outside.” Cam glanced at Milo, his forehead wrinkling. He turned to the older gentleman next to him and excused himself, then quietly followed Milo out of the tent and around the corner. “You want to tell me what this is about?” Milo stopped. “Honestly? Nothing. You just looked like you needed to be rescued. If I‟m wrong, you can always go back in and resume your sparkling conversation.” “That‟s quite all right. I think I‟ll pass.” “I expected as much. You looked bored out of your mind.” Cam shrugged. “I was only hanging around long enough to congratulate the happy couple.” “I doubt they‟ll miss you. They‟re a little preoccupied with wedded bliss.” Milo grinned. “Assuming you aren‟t just wedding crashing for the free booze, how do you know the happy couple?” “Through work.” “Yours or theirs?” “Theirs.” “Ah.” Milo thought about that for a moment. “So you‟re a club member?”
36
Amanda Young
“Yes.” “I see.” Cam‟s eyes narrowed. “What‟s with the twenty questions?” “No harm meant. I was just curious. Doesn‟t a boy have the right to know a little bit about the man who came in his mouth?” Cam‟s stern expression softened. “Listen, Milo, you‟re a sweet kid, but you should know that I‟m not going to be in town for very long. I‟m flying home on Monday morning.” “Who says we have to start something everlasting and meaningful? I don‟t know about you, but all I‟m interested in right now is a good time.” “You say that now…” “What? You think you‟re so irresistible I‟m going to pull some stunt out of Fatal Attraction on your fine ass?” “No.” Cam laughed, the corners at his eyes and mouth crinkling in the most delightful way. “Well, maybe…” “Uh-huh. You know, it‟s a real shame you‟re so modest.” “So I‟ve been told.” Milo pondered their situation for a second and decided to throw caution to the wind. Cam might be leaving soon, but they could still have fun while he was around. It wasn‟t as if Milo had anything better to do. “What do you say we have a good time while you‟re here and not worry about the future? We could hang out, heat up the sheets when the urge suits us, and then walk away with another friend after everything‟s said and done.” Milo waited for Cam‟s response and tried not to fidget under the man‟s intense perusal. Sweat beaded underneath his arms and soaked into the soft cotton of his undershirt.
Reckless Heart
37
Just when Milo was beginning to think Cam would reject him yet again, a wide smile broke out across Cam‟s face. “You know what? Another friend sounds good. Believe it or not, I don‟t have many.” “Great.” Milo beamed at Cam, his smile so wide it made his cheeks ache. “Believe it or not, I don‟t either.” He had friends at work and acquaintances he hung out with here and there, but no one he would really call a close friend. All the people he‟d grown up with—particularly Zack, Tommy, and Billy—had turned their backs on him when he left home. Although he‟d called and sent e-mails, he had yet to hear back from any of them. Cam shoved his hands in his pockets. “Do you need to stick around, or would you rather get out of here? I know this quaint little place where we can grab something to eat.” Dante would kill Milo if he left before the pictures and shit, but what the hell. It wasn‟t like he‟d been asked to be a groomsman for anything besides holding Johnny‟s hand and making sure the kid didn‟t make a scene anyway. “Sure. Let‟s go.”
38
Amanda Young
Chapter Six After agreeing to meet up at a local pizza place for a late lunch—or an early dinner, depending on how someone wanted to categorize a meal at three o‟clock in the afternoon—Milo hurried home to change his clothes. There was no way he was going to stay trapped in a suit one second longer than necessary. The damn thing was strangling the life right out him. Following a quick shower and change, Milo arrived at the restaurant with fifteen minutes to spare and the hope that Cam wouldn‟t keep him waiting very long. His stomach felt like a yawning cavern. Thanks to a case of nerves at the thought of standing up in front of a group of strangers while Beau and Adam said their vows, the only thing he‟d eaten for breakfast was half a plain bagel. It wasn‟t that he was shy so much as the monkey suit he‟d needed to wear and the bratling he‟d been responsible for during the ceremony. He‟d been half convinced the kid would scream and kick or something while Milo was trying to get him to stand in place. Other than the kid needing to take a whiz at the last possible moment, Adam‟s son had been perfectly well behaved. Milo got out of the vehicle and walked into the restaurant. He stopped just beyond the threshold, the deserted hostess stand on his right, and looked around for Cam as the door slid shut with a quiet jingle behind him. A quick glance through the L-shaped room revealed nothing new about the quaint pizzeria. Light wood paneling covered the walls. Hunter green carpet rested underfoot. Small round tables covered in green-and-white-gingham tablecloths littered the main seating area, waiting to be filled during the evening dinner rush, while small two-seater booths ran along the right wall toward the back of the establishment. Although he
Reckless Heart
39
could hear people moving around in the kitchen—the sounds of dishes rattling and the low murmur of voices—there were no visual signs of life. The joint appeared as empty as Milo‟s stomach. He couldn‟t help but wonder if Cam would appreciate the lack of an audience during dinner. It felt strange thinking of this meal with Cam as a first date, but that‟s what it amounted to. He didn‟t know anything about the older man. Not really. He discerned simple things—the way Cam looked naked, the taste of his skin, and the scent of his arousal—but the important issues were a blank. He wouldn‟t even have Cam‟s full name without Cody‟s assistance. For all intents and purposes, Campbell Brooks was a mystery waiting to be solved. It was a good thing Milo liked puzzles. Before he could ponder how best to drag Cam out of his shell, a woman appeared from the back. She smiled as she approached. “Welcome to Joanie‟s Pizzeria. Table for one this evening?” “Two, please. Someone‟s joining me.” At least, I hope so. The hostess started to head toward one of the tables not far from the door. Milo cleared his throat to get her attention. “Um, could I get one of the booths over by the wall instead, please?” “Sure.” He followed the woman to a booth neither in the front of the restaurant nor in the back and slid into the side that allowed him to see the door. The hostess set two dark green laminated menus on the edge of the table. “Your server will be with you in just a moment.” A glance down at his watch revealed he still had nearly ten minutes to wait until Cam was supposed to arrive. Ten long minutes during which his impatience would probably drive him crazy. He hoped like hell that Cam wasn‟t late. He didn‟t even want to think about what would happen if his date didn‟t show at all. Although he had no reason to think Cam would stand him up, stranger things had been known to happen.
40
Amanda Young
A woman who was as wide as she was tall, dressed in khaki slacks, a dark green golf shirt, and a black apron, approached the table. “Hi. My name is Rebecca, and I‟ll be your server tonight. Do you know what you‟d like to order?” Milo smiled. “Hi. Could I have a sweet tea to drink and a few more minutes on the food order, please? I‟m expecting someone to join me.” “No problem. I‟ll be right back with your drink.” For the next eight minutes, Milo sipped his tea and tapped the thick soles of his boots against the floor. His waitress hovered nearby, chatting with the hostess and glancing his way every few seconds. The excruciatingly slow passage of time grated on his nerves. He‟d almost managed to convince himself Cam wasn‟t going to show up, when the man in question sauntered through the door at two minutes after the hour. Milo looked Cam over with appreciation, heartily approving the faded jeans and black Vnecked sweater Cam had changed into. Even if he‟d wanted to be pissed off at Cam for keeping him waiting, Milo found it hard to stay mad at someone who looked so damn fine. Besides, it was only two minutes; it wasn‟t as if they‟d synchronized their watches. Their gazes connected as Cam advanced and slid into the booth across from Milo. “Hey.” “Hi.” Milo took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I hope you‟re hungry, because I could probably eat the ass end out of a hobbyhorse right now.” Cam chuckled. “Colorful. I‟ve never heard that one before.” “See”—Milo grinned—“hanging out with me is good for you. I can teach you all kinds of new things.” “Ah but what will you receive in return?” Milo licked his lips. “I‟m confident we‟ll think of something.”
Reckless Heart
41
“I‟m sure we will.” Cam picked up one of the two menus and tapped it on the table. “What are you in the mood for? I wouldn‟t mind splitting a pizza, as long as you don‟t want anything weird.” “Define weird.” “I like pizza that tastes like pizza. No low-carb wheat crusts or fruity toppings.” Milo couldn‟t resist a little teasing. “What? No ham and pineapple?” Cam shuddered. “Tell me you‟re joking.” “Maybe.” Milo smiled. “Actually, I do like ham and pineapple, but I‟m not picky. I‟m good with whatever you prefer, as long as my half is onion and anchovy free.” “Pepperoni and sausage, then?” “That‟s fine.” When the waitress arrived, Milo sat back and let Cam place their order. Once the woman retreated, he decided to try and spark up a conversation, not an easy feat when the man sitting across from him was a virtual stranger. Small talk wasn‟t exactly Milo‟s forte. “So tell me about yourself.” Cam groaned. “Are we going to play twenty questions now?” “We can if you want. It might make this whole „getting to know you‟ thing move along quicker; then we can get back to the good stuff.” Cam‟s grin was downright wicked. “I‟m all for that.” “Me too.” Hell yes. Milo couldn‟t wait to hit the sheets with Cam. They hadn‟t made it that far last time. He just wanted to know the guy a little bit better first. There was nothing wrong with that. One-night stands had their time and place, but the attraction simmering between them demanded a little more information. He couldn‟t pin down why he felt so drawn to Cam, especially given their first disastrous meeting. If it had been anyone else, Milo would have chalked the
Amanda Young
42
encounter up to a lost cause and moved on. He couldn‟t seem to stop thinking about Cam, though. It was confounding, to say the least. “All right,” Cam said. “Well, my favorite color is blue. I like Italian food, classic rock, and you. What else do you need to know?” “You don‟t think I‟m going to let you off that easy, do you?” Cam laughed. “I guess not.” Milo smirked. “Damn right, I‟m not.” The waitress arrived with Cam‟s soft drink, interrupting the conversation. She assured them their pizza would be out soon, then retreated once more. Cam rolled the tall glass between his palms, making the contents crackle and fizz. He leaned forward and wrapped his lips around the straw, watching Milo as he sucked the icy beverage into his mouth and swallowed. Milo licked his dry lips, imagining how Cam‟s hot mouth would feel wrapped around his tool. “Tease.” Cam released the straw and sat back. “What? I was thirsty.” “Uh-huh,” Milo replied. Cam‟s innocent act needed a little work. “Is it my turn to ask something now?” “Sure. Go ahead.” “All right. What‟s your favorite color?” “Out of everything you could ask, you want to know what color I like best?” “What‟s wrong with that?” “Nothing.” It was actually kind of sweet. Most of the men Milo knew would have asked something much more personal, probably embarrassingly so. “I like pink.” “Pink?” “What‟s wrong with pink?” Milo laughed. “I‟m kidding. My favorite color is orange.”
Reckless Heart
43
Cam averted his eyes, looking beyond Milo. “Looks like our pizza‟s ready.” Milo turned and saw their waitress headed toward them carrying a large deepdish in a black cast-iron pan. She set the pan down on the edge of the table and served them both a slice. “Enjoy! Just let me know if you need anything else.” “Will do.” Milo unrolled his silverware, set the knife and spoon aside, and picked up his fork. The tang of tomatoes and cheese wafted under his nose, making his mouth water. He glanced at Cam, who was cutting into his first slice. “Smells awesome.” Cam chewed and swallowed. “Tastes pretty damn good too.” Milo grinned and dug in, consuming two pieces before he slowed down enough to resume the chat. “Man, I needed that. I was starving.” “I could tell.” Milo lifted a third slice out of the pan and set it on his plate. “Are you calling me a pig?” Cam took a sip of his drink. “I didn‟t say that.” “Good thing.” “Why‟s that? Would I have offended your delicate sensibilities?” Milo laughed, recalling how he‟d said those same words to Cam earlier in the week. “Not likely. You‟ll find there isn‟t very much about me that‟s delicate, emotions or otherwise.” “Lucky me. Otherwise I would have scared you off the moment we met.” “Oh, you wouldn‟t have scared me. I certainly wouldn‟t have taken you up on your suggestion afterward though.” “Why did you?” Cam tore off a chunk of crust. “After the way I behaved, I would have deserved it if you‟d turned me down.” He popped the bread in his mouth and chewed, his gaze trained on Milo. “Don‟t let it go to your head, but you‟re not exactly hard on the eyes. Plus, I have a bad habit of wanting things I shouldn‟t.”
Amanda Young
44
“Playing hard to get flips your switch, huh? I‟ll have to remember that.” Milo balled up the small slip of paper that had covered his straw and flicked it at Cam. “Very funny.” “I thought so.” Cam tapped his fingers on the table. “Exactly how old are you anyway?” “Eighteen.” Cam groaned. “What‟s that about?” Milo plucked a pepperoni off his slice of pizza and popped it into his mouth. “Nothing. I just…” Cam waved his hand. “I pegged you as twenty-one or twenty-two.” “I‟m not looking for a sugar daddy, if that‟s why you‟re concerned.” Out of all the issues he‟d thought they might have, his age wasn‟t one of them. “I didn‟t think that, but hell… You‟re barely legal.” Cam‟s forehead wrinkled. “Not to mention I‟m eight years older than you.” “That isn‟t such a huge gap.” Honestly, Milo would have guessed Cam was in his early thirties. He seemed so much more serious and put together than the guys Milo knew who were in their twenties. “Is the difference going to be an issue for you?” “No.” Cam sighed. “I won‟t let it interfere if you don‟t.” “Fair enough.” Milo let out a relieved breath as their waitress appeared with a pitcher of tea. She refilled Milo‟s glass and asked if Cam would like a refill. When Cam declined, she nodded and went about her business. Milo glanced beyond her and noticed the restaurant was beginning to fill up. He‟d been so busy stuffing his face and talking with Cam that he hadn‟t noticed the other diners. “So,” Milo said, trying to steer the topic at hand away from his age and back to safer waters. “You know all about my glamorous job at Pearl‟s. What do you do for a living?”
Reckless Heart
45
Cam frowned. “I‟m chief executive officer for Sacred Hearts, a large nonprofit organization that raises awareness of domestic violence and runs various safe houses in the northeastern United States.” “Wow. I‟m impressed. How‟d you get into that?” “My mother started the first house in New York and founded the organization.” “Hmm.” Milo took another bite of his pizza, chewed, and swallowed while thinking over what Cody had told him earlier. “I was under the impression you grew up around here. Is that wrong?” “No.” Cam lifted his drink and took a sip, slowly returning the glass to the tabletop before he answered. “I was raised here. My mother didn‟t move to Manhattan until after I started attending Virginia Tech.” “Your parents split up, huh? That had to be rough.” Cam bit off a big chunk of pizza crust and grunted. Milo took that as a yes. “These days I think it‟s rarer to have parents who‟re still together. I was always jealous of the kids with divorced parents.” Milo laughed. “It sounds stupid now, but my friends were constantly bragging about all the extra presents they were getting.” “Yeah, I can see that.” Cam wiped his mouth, then dropped the paper napkin onto his plate. Milo glanced at the two remaining slices of pizza and groaned. There was no way he could eat any more. “You finished?” “Yeah. I couldn‟t eat another bite.” They spent the next few minutes making small talk until the waitress came around to check on them. When she arrived, Milo requested the check. She was back with it in a flash, setting the little white slip of paper upside down on the end of the table, along with two red and white mints wrapped in clear plastic.
46
Amanda Young
Cam reached for the bill, but Milo snagged it first. He looked down at the amount to make sure he could cover it and then smiled at Cam. “My treat tonight.” Cam rubbed his chin. “Are you sure?” “Definitely.” Milo grinned. “You can take care of breakfast in the morning.”
*** After Milo settled the check, he followed Cam back to his hotel. They barely made it into the room before they were on each other like white on rice. Their clothes hit the floor seconds before Cam pushed Milo down onto the bed and pounced on him. He laid one hand across Milo‟s stomach and used the other to cup Milo‟s balls. Milo held still, more than happy to let Cam drive this time around. He watched, mesmerized, as Cam‟s tongue extended and flicked over his cockhead. Warm, wet lips surrounded the bulbous knob and sucked, a tongue probing the tender slit. “Please.” Milo rocked his hips, trying to feed more of his dick into Cam‟s hungry mouth. “Suck me.” Cam glanced up. He pulled off Milo cock and used the flat of his tongue to lick it from base to tip. “Like that?” “Yeah.” Milo panted, his gaze locked on Cam‟s glistening lips. “Good.” Cam laved the sensitive ridge of Milo‟s tip. He dipped his tongue into the slit, making Milo‟s nerve endings sing, and then sucked him in from crown to root. He began a slow up-and-down rhythm, bobbing over Milo‟s throbbing shaft. Milo watched the wet length of his dick appear and disappear, repeatedly swallowed and bathed in liquid heat. Cam cradled Milo‟s balls and rolled them in his palm. Added to the agonizing suction, the sensation threatened to drive Milo insane. “Stop,” Milo whispered. “I don‟t want to get off too soon.” In truth, he wanted to drag the pleasure out as long as possible.
Reckless Heart
47
Cam backed off Milo‟s cock, leaving the slick crown resting against the curve of his chin, and looked up. “What do you want?” “Come here.” Milo beckoned. “Kiss me.” Cam crept up the length of Milo‟s body and settled against him. He slanted his lips over Milo‟s and forced his way inside. Milo wasn‟t about to complain. Kissing was one of his favorite things. The sinuous glide of Cam‟s tongue made Milo quiver. He couldn‟t think of anything but how delicious Cam‟s lips were and how right the other man‟s weight felt atop his body. One hot openmouthed kiss descended into another and another as they rutted and pawed at each other like wild animals. A thin film of sweat built between their writhing torsos while they continued to lock lips, thrusting and grinding in a give-and-take rhythm older than time. Milo waited until he couldn‟t take another moment of the pleasurable torment, until he feared the friction was too great and his balls would surely turn blue from the excruciating ache building inside him. When he finally wasn‟t able to stand one more second, he shuddered and let go of his rigid control. He shouted Cam‟s name and came.
48
Amanda Young
Chapter Seven Following a long night of pleasuring each other with hands and mouths, Cam awoke early and took Milo out for breakfast. Although neither one of them were morning people, Cam managed to discover they shared a love of nature and hiking. After they‟d both consumed copious amounts of coffee and little real food, Cam suggested they spend the morning exploring a trail called the Cascades in nearby Giles County. To Cam‟s delight, Milo agreed, though he had to be back early for his afternoon work shift. Cam was all too happy to agree and offered to chauffeur Milo around so they could get right to the fun stuff. It‟d been too long since he‟d gone out and done many of the outdoor activities he‟d enjoyed when he was a teenager. While he jogged in Central Park to break up the monotony of the gym, it wasn‟t even close to the same experience as being out in the wilderness of Virginia. Even the cultivated trails and habitats possessed a wild, untamed nature that couldn‟t be re-created. October probably wasn‟t the best time to hike, but it certainly wasn‟t the worst either. Although the weather was a little on the chilly side, that worked in their favor, keeping them cool and dry. In the summer, Cam would‟ve loved to take Milo out and make him work up a sweat. However, that wasn‟t to be, and he tried not to dwell on the subject. Even so, the thought of seeing Milo shirtless, glistening with perspiration while his lithe torso heaved under the strength of heavy panting, stuck in the forefront of Cam‟s mind and wouldn‟t be dismissed. To Cam‟s surprise, Milo remained introspective throughout the morning rather than filling the gaps in conversation with useless chatter. Instead they passed the time with light physical exertion, easy companionship, and meaningful eye contact.
Reckless Heart
49
They took their time navigating the rocky terrain, occasionally pausing to point at something that had caught their attention or stopping to regain their breath after a particularly steep incline. The rush of roaring water reached Cam‟s ears long before he saw anything. Keeping pace alongside him, Milo looked over and beamed at Cam. “We must be close.” “I think so.” Cam smiled, amused at Milo‟s renewed energy. “The waterfall should be just up around the corner.” “Come on.” Milo picked up the tempo, bounding ahead. Over his shoulder, he yelled, “I can‟t wait to see it.” Cam hurried to catch up, almost as anxious to see the landmark as he was to witness Milo‟s expression when he first set eyes on the waterfall. The sight was awe inspiring, to say the least. It had been quite a while since Cam had visited the area—years, in fact. The last time he was here, he‟d still been in high school. He and a group of friends—guys he‟d long since lost touch with—had come up here and brought their girlfriends. At the time, Cam had been dating Colleen McFee, the homecoming queen and the last girl he‟d ever tried to get it up for. They‟d spent the weekend after graduation camping out and drinking, just hanging out and having a good time. If any of his buddies had had an inkling of the starring roles they‟d played in Cam‟s fantasies so he could pop wood for Colleen, they would have freaked the fuck out. This visit couldn‟t have been more different. For one, he was there with someone he genuinely liked, a man he didn‟t need to pretend around. He could relax and be himself without having to worry about being found out for the fraud he‟d felt like all through high school. He hadn‟t come out to anyone until halfway through his sophomore year of college, when he‟d met Rick, his first real boyfriend. For another, he didn‟t need a buzz and a vivid imagination to get it up for Milo. Nothing could have been further from the truth. All he needed was to be in close proximity
50
Amanda Young
or truth be told, even think about the younger man, and he popped a kickstand like it was nothing. Around the bend, the path opened into a wide grassy clearing. Cam was surprised to find they were the only ones there. Other than the squirrels leaping from branch to branch and scurrying along the ground for succor, there was nary a sign of life. Being autumn, the land was barren of new growth. Leaves of every shade were scattered across the landscape, hiding the browning terrain beneath. The long, bare branches of oak and maple trees intermingled with the bright green pine needles surrounding them. All this blurred in the background when compared to the two-hundred-foot cliff walls towering above them and the roaring waterfall set dead center, which spilled its foaming bounty into a large, rippling pool below. Cam followed Milo right up to the edge of the earth, where the clear pond lapped at the rocky bank. Standing behind him, Cam wrapped his arms around Milo‟s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Beautiful, isn‟t it?” Milo turned his head and glanced at Cam. “Very. I‟ve never seen anything like it. It‟s so huge.” Cam snickered. He had something huge he could show Milo. Milo elbowed him in the gut. “Get your mind out of the gutter.” Laughing, Cam kissed Milo on the neck and released him. “You want to have a seat and rest a minute before we head back down?” Once Milo turned, Cam pointed toward the deserted picnic tables set up on the grassy clearing to the left of the waterfall. Milo glanced down at his watch. “Sure. I still have a while yet before I need to be at work.” Cam bit into the slick, fleshy inside of his cheek to keep from asking Milo to call in to work so they could spend the rest of the day together. Seeing as how Cam was the older of the two of them—and therefore the man who was supposed to be more mature and responsible—he swallowed his request and led Milo over to the first of four tables.
Reckless Heart
51
Milo straddled the bench halfway down its length, leaving plenty of room for Cam to do the same. Cam sat facing Milo, close enough that their knees were touching. He regarded Milo, taking in the wind-flushed cheeks and chocolate brown eyes. What was it about Milo that set Cam so at ease? He couldn‟t figure it out. He had no trouble understanding the physical aspects of his attraction, but that didn‟t explain his urge to trust and confide in Milo—something he rarely felt comfortable doing with anyone until he‟d known them for quite a while. His feelings were an aberration. Milo was damn fine to look at, but he was barely legal. Although Cam generally went for younger men, he‟d never been tempted by anyone so youthful. Not since he himself was jailbait, at any rate. He should have taken one look at Milo, then run in the other direction. He‟d tried to do as much the night they met, but then he stumbled upon Milo again at the pool and caught a glimpse of the man‟s smooth, lean physique. Afterward, the head between his legs had taken over his decision-making skills and settled the matter once and for all. Physically, Milo was just his type. However, he‟d assumed they would fuck around and then go their separate ways. Blacksburg was a small town, but it was plenty large enough not to see the same person twice unless you specifically went looking for them. Considering the short length of time remaining until he flew back to New York, Cam had figured the chances of seeing Milo again were slim. Running into him again at the wedding had been a surprise. Hooking up afterward was an added bonus. For the first time in longer than he could remember, Cam was simply rolling with the flow. He didn‟t have a plan beyond enjoying Milo‟s company while he had it. The younger man was so sweet and uncomplicated. Spending time with him was certainly no burden. Milo scooted forward, forcing Cam to spread his legs. “I‟m so glad you asked me to come with you today. It‟s really beautiful up here.”
52
Amanda Young
“It is. I‟m happy you could make it.” Cam‟s gaze dropped to Milo‟s mouth. He watched, mesmerized, as Milo licked his lips. “I‟m surprised you‟ve never been here before. It‟s kind of a tourist spot during the spring and summer.” “Yeah? Well, I‟m not from here originally. I‟ve been staying with my brother, Dante, for the last six months or so. Before that I was living a few hours from here in Danville.” “What made you decide to move in with your brother?” “I didn‟t have much choice. Mama got nosy and went snooping through my computer. I protected my account, but it wasn‟t difficult to crack since the password was my Social Security number. She found some of the sites I‟d been on, mostly dating sites and gay forums, and flipped out. In hindsight, I probably should have lied when they confronted me about what they‟d discovered, but I was mad and not thinking right. I blurted out that I was gay like Dante, and they kicked me out. It wasn‟t a big shock, since they did the same thing to Dante when he came out.” “That has to suck.” Cam could certainly sympathize. Unfortunately, Milo‟s situation was all too common among the gay men and women he knew. “What about you? What‟s your story?” “What do you mean?” “How did your parents take the news? Assuming people know you‟re gay.” Cam rested his hand on Milo‟s knee, the denim warm and soft beneath his fingers. “I don‟t advertise, but the people who know me are clear about my orientation.” “And your folks?” “That‟s a long story. Suffice it to say, my father doesn‟t have much to do with me.” “What about your mom?” “She passed away before I told anyone.” “Oh, man. I‟m sorry. I didn‟t mean to bring up something painful.”
Reckless Heart
53
“It‟s all right. It was a long time ago.” Six years and two days to be exact. The anniversary of her passing was the main reason he was in town. He came home for it every year. It was the least he could do since he hadn‟t been there when she‟d needed him most. He‟d never forgive himself for not going home during the summer between his sophomore and junior years in college. Maybe if he had, she wouldn‟t have felt so alone. If he‟d been a good son and done what she‟d wanted, she might not have swallowed those pills and taken her own life. “Still…” Milo rested his hand over Cam‟s. “I feel bad. My parents won‟t have anything to do with me, but I can‟t imagine anything happening to them.” Cam jumped on the opportunity to change the subject. “Maybe they‟ll come around.” “Nah. I don‟t think so. They disowned Dante a decade ago and haven‟t spoken to him since. I doubt they‟ll ever accept me.” “Stranger things have been known to happen.” Cam turned his hand palm up on Milo‟s thigh, twined his fingers with Milo‟s, then gave them a squeeze. “Maybe.” Milo moved closer, throwing his calves over Cam‟s knees until he was practically straddling Cam‟s lap on the bench seat. “But I don‟t really want to talk about them.” “What do you want to talk about?” Cam softly brushed his lips over Milo‟s, then pulled back so the younger man could answer. “Talking is overrated.” Milo wrapped his arms around Cam‟s neck and pulled Cam‟s head down until their lips met once again. This time around, Cam made no effort to resist. He sank into Milo‟s embrace, relishing the soft cushion of the full mouth moving against his own, and pushed his tongue against the crease of Milo‟s lips, demanding entrance. The moment it was granted, he foraged deeper, hell-bent on discovering every single nook and cranny. Milo seemed to be of a like mind since he returned each stroke, upping the ante with every caress.
54
Amanda Young
A cool breeze caressed their shoulders and blew Milo‟s hair into their faces. Cam captured Milo‟s face in his hands and brushed the silky, shoulder-length locks back, keeping them out the way while he continued to plunder Milo‟s mouth with one long, bottomless kiss after another. Fingers dug into Cam‟s nape and right shoulder, kneading muscles he hadn‟t even realized were tense until they melted under Milo‟s persuasive touch. With his hands still framing Milo‟s face, Cam tilted his lover‟s head to the side for a better fit and took the lip-lock deeper, sliding his tongue through the swollen ring of Milo‟s mouth and exploring the recesses beyond. The slight tang of coffee from earlier tainted Milo‟s natural flavor and covered the unique essence Cam was coming to know as well as his own. They parried back and forth, imitating a rhythm older than time. The cadence brought to mind another, more intimate act they had yet to complete. They‟d licked, groped, frotted, and sucked, but they had yet to do anything that included actual penetration. Cam wasn‟t sure what Milo had against fucking, but he couldn‟t deny he wanted inside the younger man with a passion he hadn‟t felt in God knew how long. What they‟d shared so far wasn‟t lacking so much as incomplete. Like the contrary male he‟d been accused of being time and again, Cam yearned for the one and only thing denied to him. He didn‟t want to coerce Milo into doing something the young man was uncomfortable with, but that wasn‟t going to stop him from turning on a little gentle persuasion if he could talk Milo into coming back to the hotel later that night. Milo did some fancy tongue work, spinning the slick appendage around and around in Cam‟s mouth. Cam fought back, rolling his tongue with aplomb. Apparently Milo liked that. He fed Cam a moan and crushed their mouths together, adding more fuel to the fire raging between them. Cam would have given anything to lay Milo down on the bench, right out in the open beneath the sky. The only thing stopping him was a thin filament of control, tenuous at best.
Reckless Heart
55
The way Milo was clinging to him didn‟t lead Cam to believe his lover had much control remaining either. One of them needed to keep their cool, although it was damn hard to remember why he was supposed to do the right thing when Milo was riding his lap and making the hottest little noises Cam had ever heard. Cam wanted to twist those whimpers into shouts and turn Milo every which way but loose. During the short time they had remaining, he longed to make his mark on Milo‟s soul. To turn Milo inside out and guarantee he never forgot a single moment he spent in Cam‟s company. “Ew. Mom, look!” Cam jerked away from Milo and glanced around, spotting a young woman and a blond boy of perhaps ten years old approaching the waterfall. The child tugged at the hem of his mother‟s jacket and pointed toward Cam and Milo. “Those men were kissing.” Milo blinked. He scooted back and rubbed his hands over his face. “Shit.” “Yeah.” Cam sighed. He was just getting into things, damn it. Milo glanced at his watch. “We need to get going anyway. By the time we hike down and drive back to town, it‟ll be time for me to be at work.” “All right.” Cam stood and held out his hand to help Milo up. Milo laid his palm within Cam‟s and let Cam tug him to his feet. “Do you have plans for later this evening? I could come by after work. If you‟re not, you know, doing anything else.” Cam tamped down the urge to grin and tell Milo he‟d be waiting with bells on. Instead he pretended to mull it over. There was no use in looking too anxious. After a silent count of ten, Cam nodded. “Well, I was planning to turn in early and get some rest before flying out in the morning, but if you‟d like to come by—” “I would. Besides, you can always sleep on the plane.” “I don‟t know.” Cam started back toward the trail, assured Milo was following along right beside him. “Have you ever tried to sleep during a flight? It‟s kind of a
56
Amanda Young
pain in the ass. I could probably manage, but you‟d have to give me a very good reason to miss out on my beauty sleep.” Milo hip bumped Cam. “Don‟t worry. I‟m sure I can think of something.”
*** Milo glanced over at Cam as they pulled up in front of Pearl‟s. “Thanks for driving me to work.” “You‟re welcome.” Cam parallel parked against the curb and then let the engine idle. “Are you sure you don‟t need to go home and change first or something?” “Nah. I shoved my work clothes into my backpack.” “Aren‟t they going to be wrinkled?” “It‟s just a polo shirt and an apron. The jeans I have on are fine. No big deal.” “All right. So I‟ll see you later, then?” “Yep.” Milo‟s face ached from all the smiling he‟d done on the way back into town. He didn‟t think that had ever happened before. “I‟ll come by the hotel after I get off. I have a short shift today, so it‟ll probably be around sevenish.” “Great.” Cam leaned across the console. He wrapped his hand around the back of Milo‟s neck and dragged him in closer for a short, possessive kiss. “I‟ll have dinner delivered and waiting for you when you arrive. That way we can eat and get right down to the good stuff.” “Anything you want is fine by me.” Milo brushed his lips across Cam‟s once more, unable to get enough. He wished he didn‟t have to cut their day short because of work, but he really did need the money. The passion that had been simmering between them all day would just have to wait until later. “I‟m looking forward to it.” Cam backed off and popped open the trunk using the button under the dashboard. “Let me get your bag out of the trunk.” “Thanks.” Milo got out of the car and met Cam at the trunk. He accepted his backpack and slung it over one shoulder.
Reckless Heart
57
Cam slammed the lid shut. “Have fun at work.” “Yeah right.” He opened his mouth to call Cam a smart-ass but stopped as he noticed Cam‟s attention wandering to something behind Milo. A glance over his shoulder revealed an older man with severely cut snow-white hair and skin so transparent it reminded Milo of tissue paper. Deep-set wrinkles clung to the corners of the man‟s mouth and eyes. Something about the man‟s somber demeanor told Milo they weren‟t laugh lines. The stranger gave a stiff nod. “Campbell.” Milo whipped his head around in time to see Cam frown. “Father.” “I see you‟re in town for your yearly vigil.” Vigil? Milo looked from one man to the other, trying to follow along but hopelessly lost. “Here I stand, so it would appear so.” “Don‟t smart mouth me, boy. As much as I‟d like to say your mother would be impressed by your initiative, we both know the poor woman is probably spinning in her grave because of the way you flaunt your deviant lifestyle.” “Don‟t speak about her as if you ever gave a shit. In fact, don‟t speak of her at all. She‟d still be here if it weren‟t for you.” Cam‟s father snorted. “You‟d like to think that, wouldn‟t you? It would make you sleep so much better at night if you could lay Wilma‟s death at my door. Your mother was a weak fool who wouldn‟t get the help she needed before it was too late.” Cam stepped up onto the sidewalk. “Watch yourself, old man. Any respect I held for you died with her. You‟d do well to remember that before you keep running your mouth about things a coldhearted bastard like you would never understand.” Milo was beginning to sympathize with bobblehead dolls. Someone killed herself? Cam’s mom? He didn‟t know who else it would be.
58
Amanda Young
The two men stared at each other, a silent battle of wills seeming to happen beneath the surface. Milo stepped back, trying to make himself invisible, and accidentally banged his backpack into the side of Cam‟s rental car. The old man‟s shrewd gaze landed on Milo, only to snap back to Cam. “Who is this, then? Another youth you‟re trying to corrupt? Is this one even legal?” Cam‟s hands fisted at his sides. “Leave him out of this.” “Gladly. I couldn‟t care less who you choose to sodomize back in New York. However, I won‟t have you sully the family name here in Blacksburg. I thought we‟d come to an understanding. You stay where you belong, keep your perversions to yourself, and I won‟t cut you out of the will. Otherwise, all bets are off.” “Take your money and shove it where the sun doesn‟t shine. I don‟t want it.” “I hope you don‟t think that paltry sum your mother left you will last forever. I have it on good authority that pet project of yours—the home you‟re running for misfits and deviants—goes through money like it‟s water. Unless you toe the line, you can forget about coming to me with your hand out when you run out of money.” “I repeat. I don‟t need you or your money. All I want is to be left alone. You should be good with that, since you‟ve never wanted a bloody thing to do with me anyway unless it suited your purposes. Just get out of my sight before I say or do something I might regret later.” Cam‟s father took a step forward. “I‟m warning you, boy.” Milo had had enough. He stepped between the men and glared at Cam‟s father. “I don‟t know who you think you are, Mister, but Cam said for you to leave him alone. Don‟t make me call someone and report you for harassment.” “I—Why I never…” The man‟s nostrils flared. His narrowed gaze traveled from Milo to Cam and then back again. “This isn‟t over, Campbell. You‟ll be hearing from my attorneys.” “Yeah, yeah,” Cam muttered as his father meandered across the street and climbed into a shiny black Town Car.
Reckless Heart
59
Milo watched the car drive off before breaking the silence. Concerned, he turned to Cam and found his lover gazing at him with a strange expression on his face. He grabbed Cam and gave him a squeeze. “Hey. You okay?” “I‟m fine.” Cam pulled away and took a step back. He nodded toward the restaurant behind Milo. “Shouldn‟t you get to work? I‟d hate for that little scene to make you late.” “Um, yeah…I guess. I‟ll see you later.” With a backward wave, Milo walked into the restaurant. Confused about what he‟d just witnessed, he stood silently inside the door and watched Cam drive away.
60
Amanda Young
Chapter Eight After an interminable workday, Milo hurried to Cam‟s hotel as fast as his feet would carry him. Thank God the place wasn‟t that far away; otherwise, he wasn‟t sure what he would have done. His Jeep was still sitting in front of the hotel where Milo had left it the night before. Nevertheless, by the time he‟d made it the ten blocks to the hotel, he was wishing he had had the foresight to plan ahead a little better. He hoped Cam was still in the mood for company. With him leaving in the morning, tonight was probably the last chance they‟d get to see each other. Even if they kept in touch somehow—through calls or e-mails—Milo imagined their chemistry would wane with time. At best, they would stay in touch and remain friends. Milo had meant it when he offered as much to Cam at the wedding. It wasn‟t that he didn‟t want more with Cam—nothing could have been further from the truth. Rather, it was simpler to expect nothing. Milo knew better than to get his hopes up and risk the inevitable disappointment that would come from having yet another person reject him. Nevertheless, he wished with all his might that Cam wouldn‟t blow him off tonight. It would suck if their time together ended on such a downer. They had one more night to get to know each other, to heat up the sheets and have some fun, and Milo wanted to make the most of it. Strolling into the hotel, Milo headed for the elevator. Once inside, he hit the button for the top floor and waited, impatient to see the man who‟d taken over his thoughts and turned them into a nonstop porno reel. When he wasn‟t thinking about getting Cam naked, he was pondering what made the older man tick.
Reckless Heart
61
Milo stuck his hands in his pockets. Man, I really need to get a more exciting life. Upon exiting the elevator, Milo approached Cam‟s room and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. After reminding himself to keep his expectations low for the evening, he rapped on the door. Barely a moment passed before Cam appeared, dressed in loose cotton sleep pants the shade of the summer sky and little else. There could have been a pair of briefs under the thin fabric, but Milo doubted it. The gentle sway of Cam‟s package seemed to indicate otherwise. Cam looked good enough to eat and twice as much fun to savor. Just a peek at the man made the moisture in Milo‟s mouth evaporate. “Hey.” Cam crossed the threshold and took hold of Milo‟s shoulders, kissing him hello. “I‟m glad you‟re here.” “Hello yourself, handsome.” Although Cam seemed okay, the scene from earlier popped into Milo‟s head and wouldn‟t be ignored. “Are you all right?” “Yeah. Why wouldn‟t I be?” Cam‟s forehead wrinkled. “Wait. Before you answer that, why don‟t you come on in and make yourself comfortable?” He stepped back and held the door open, waving Milo in. Milo entered, glanced around at the bare hotel room, and then turned to face Cam. “I just thought you might not be up to company after the run-in with your father.” “Nah. I‟m good.” Cam closed the door and backed up against it, looking at Milo. “Better now that you‟re here, though. I‟d hate to spend my last night in town flying solo.” “That‟s good to know.” A frown tugged at Milo‟s lips as he took off his jacket and rested it over the back of the closest of two chairs flanking a small round table sitting between the bed and the window. The way Cam had said that made it sound like any warm body would do. Milo wasn‟t under any delusions that he and Cam were in the middle of a fairy-tale romance, but he would like to think Cam wanted to spend the evening with him and not just some random dick.
62
Amanda Young
Cam sat on the foot of the bed. “I wasn‟t sure what you wanted for dinner, so I just ordered calzones from that pizza place we went to yesterday.” “Sounds good.” Milo plopped down beside Cam. “How much longer till the food gets here? I‟m starved.” “I didn‟t know when you‟d get here, so I postponed the delivery until nine.” Milo glanced at his watch. It was only seven thirty. “We have a while. Want to talk about what happened earlier?” “Can we not discuss that right now?” “Okay.” Milo was curious, but he didn‟t want to push his luck. “If you change your mind, I‟m here and more than willing to listen to anything you want to share.” “I appreciate that. Really. I‟d just rather forget about it.” “All right.” Milo kicked off his shoes and flung himself backward onto the bed. “If you don‟t want to talk, then may I make a suggestion for how we can pass the time before dinner arrives?”
*** Cam pounced on Milo, grateful the younger man wasn‟t going to press the issue and make him talk about something he was uncomfortable sharing. His relationship with his father was a mess; the bad blood between them stemmed back as far as Cam‟s dysfunctional childhood. It was hard to explain years of hurt and resentment without going into his entire life history. Leaning in, Cam wrapped his hand around Milo‟s neck and pulled him closer. He covered Milo‟s lips with his own, kissing him once, twice, then again, before sealing their mouths together and thrusting his tongue inside. One of Milo‟s hands clutched at Cam‟s forearm for a brief moment, then moved upward to caress Cam‟s jaw and cheek. Cam deepened the kiss, sipping from Milo‟s lips. He dropped his free hand to Milo‟s lap and rubbed his thigh, kneading the firm, denim-covered flesh. He couldn‟t wait to strip Milo down and gorge on the bittersweet taste of his skin.
Reckless Heart
63
With that thought in mind, Cam covered Milo‟s slender torso with his own. He ground his aching prick against Milo‟s hip and felt Milo‟s groin surge upward in response. They rocked together, kissing and touching, until Cam feared he would hurt something if he had to wait any longer to strip them both down and get busy. Cam wiggled out of his lounge pants and kicked them aside, not caring where they landed. As soon as the material slid free, he turned his concentration on Milo‟s shirt, yanking the cotton fabric up under Milo‟s arms. Milo pulled away and tugged the shirt over his head. He dropped his hands to his jeans and popped the button, while Cam slid down the zipper. Mio shoved the jeans down around his knees and then swore. “Shit. Shoes.” With a laugh, Cam rolled onto his back and watched as Milo sat up and finished undressing. The younger man‟s back muscles rippled and flexed as he fought with his shoes. Cam‟s mouth watered. He wanted to bend Milo over, sink his cock balls-deep in the tight ass he‟d been dreaming about, and bite into the sinew between Milo‟s shoulder blades while he rode him hard and fast. Milo stood and turned around, facing the bed. He stretched his arms over his head, displaying his lithe chest, slender hips, and groin to perfection, and smiled. “See something you like?” “Maybe.” Cam licked his lips and tried to play it cool, although all cylinders were set to go. If he wasn‟t careful, this encounter could be over with before it even began. Milo crawled onto the bed and straddled Cam‟s hips. “This work for you?” “Oh yeah.” Cam ran his hands down Milo‟s chest, brushed his thumbs over Milo‟s scrumptious brown nipples, and watched in awe as they crinkled and drew into tight little nubs. “This is good.” Milo wiggled, curving his spine. The tiny movement pushed his chest forward and made his prick bob up and down. Cam‟s attention moved lower, focusing on the slender cock and plump sac just begging for his attention. He cupped Milo‟s balls
64
Amanda Young
and squeezed lightly, running his thumb over the hair-roughened base of Milo‟s cock. Looking up, Cam found and held Milo‟s gaze. He released his lover‟s nuts and took hold of his narrow hips. “Come down here and kiss me.” Milo leaned forward, resting his forearms on the pillow to either side of Cam‟s head. “This what you want?” Cam swallowed as their erections brushed together. “It‟s a start.” Before he could elaborate, Milo‟s lips settled over his own, scrambling Cam‟s thoughts. Only when air became a necessity did he pull back. Refusing to lose contact with his lover, he sucked the plump flesh of Milo‟s lower lip into his mouth. Milo groaned, his fingers digging into Cam‟s shoulders. “God, Cam…” Cam relinquished Milo‟s mouth and licked a path down his lover‟s throat. He buried his face against the warm, soft skin at the curve of Milo‟s neck and shoulder, inhaling the scent of soap and man. Milo smelled so damn good. He nuzzled closer, laving Milo‟s pulse point, and ran his hands over Milo‟s shoulders and down his back. His palms crested the slight curve of Milo‟s bottom. Unable to resist, Cam cupped Milo‟s small, firm cheeks and gave them a squeeze. Milo moaned and pushed back into Cam‟s touch. Taking the response at face value, Cam slid his fingers lower, skimming the shallow crevice between Milo‟s cheeks. The sudden tension in his lover‟s back warned Cam to tread lightly. Rather than zero in on the tiny puckered entrance as he wanted to do so badly, Cam continued downward and ran his fingertips over Milo‟s perineum and the back side of his balls. Milo rocked his hips forward. “Jesus, you‟re a tease.” “Don‟t worry. I aim to please too.” Cam returned his hold to Milo‟s bottom and kneaded the warm flesh. “Why don‟t you scoot up a little higher and let me prove it.”
Reckless Heart
65
“You have don‟t have to ask me twice.” Milo shimmied forward until his knees were lodged under Cam‟s armpits. Once in place, he grabbed his shaft around the root and waggled it at Cam. “Want some of this?” Cam took in the long, thin shaft and thick, flushed head and felt his taste buds cry for a lick. “Lean forward a little more, and I‟ll show you what I want.” After bracing his hands on the wall behind Cam‟s head, Milo slowly tilted his groin forward. Cam grasped Milo‟s trim hips and held him steady while he flicked the tip of his tongue over the slit in Milo‟s cockhead. Milo jerked and trembled. Cam continued to hold him steady while he tormented and teased Milo‟s poor swollen head. The spongy flesh felt divine against Cam‟s tongue, the tiny opening narrow but giving. The ragged respiration coming from above cinched Cam‟s decision to take pity on Milo. He slid his lips around the tip and swallowed Milo‟s shaft all the way to the base, wetting the flesh from top to bottom. Keeping hold of Milo‟s hip with one hand, Cam used the other to cup and manipulate Milo‟s balls. The heavy weight wrinkled and receded, pulling up tight against the base of Milo‟s shaft. While he rolled Milo‟s balls and lightly squeezed his sac, Cam brought the pads of his fingers into play, caressing Milo‟s taint and applying a little pressure to the sensitive area. Milo didn‟t seem to mind the touch. His hips began to rock toward Cam‟s face. Cam increased the suction but eased the rhythm back a notch. He tightened his lips and refused to go any faster, not yet ready to let Milo come. He enjoyed the sensation of Milo sliding over his tongue, spilling bitter smears of precum over his taste buds. His own needs took a backseat to making Milo squirm. However, it wasn‟t like he was oblivious to the ache building in his loins. The tension of denying himself what he desired was as delicious as it was frustrating. “Stop.” Milo backed up, yanking his cock out of Cam‟s mouth. “Why?” Cam released his grip on Milo‟s hip and frowned. “What‟s the matter?”
66
Amanda Young
“Nothing‟s wrong.” Milo grinned and flipped around, straddling Cam in a classic sixty-nine position. Slick heat bathed the tip of Cam‟s cock. “I just want a taste too.” Cam groaned in pleasure. He sure as hell wasn‟t going to complain, not while his erection was disappearing into Milo‟s hot mouth. He braced his feet on the bed and rocked up into Milo‟s mouth. Lush lips surrounded his shaft, bobbing up and down, while Cam followed suit. He tilted his head back as much as he could and worked his mouth back and forth over Milo‟s crown and the uppermost inches. He couldn‟t move quite enough to take any more than that, but he felt confident he was doing a damn fine job of massaging what he could reach. Milo, on the other hand, was having better luck. Cam could feel his knob butting up against the back of Milo‟s throat. The slick tissues caressed Cam‟s cockhead and teased him into striving to swallow more of Milo‟s cock. Every move Cam made was echoed and returned, until he all but lost track of who was doing what to whom. They pushed in and pulled out with the same frantic rhythm, in sync with each other‟s pace, if nothing else. The give-and-take drove Cam‟s passion higher, until the only important thing was the pressure around his dick and the swollen shaft plunging in and out of his mouth. Heat rolled through him, spreading from his neck to knees and everywhere in between. The only thing better than sucking and being sucked was the prospect of fucking Milo‟s ass. Cam rubbed and kneaded Milo‟s buttocks, wanting inside so badly he could hardly stand it. The mouth around his prick was talented—there was no doubt about that—but the thought of burying himself deep in Milo‟s ass refused to be cast aside. However, knowing how reticent he seemed about anal sex, Cam doubted Milo would roll over for him tonight.
Reckless Heart
67
Nevertheless, his yearning didn‟t change. It was damn hard to forget his need when Milo‟s ass was right in his face, undulating up and down. The twin mounds flexed and wiggled, separating to show glimpses of the temping tawny ring within. Cam groaned around Milo‟s shaft, his gaze locked on Milo‟s entrance. He might not be able to fuck it, but maybe he could play with it just a little. Surely that wouldn‟t be asking too much. Using his thumbs, Cam spread Milo‟s cheeks. He released Milo‟s cock, placed one last openmouthed kiss on the fat crown, and then licked his way across Milo‟s balls from front to back. While keeping his gaze on his final destination, he lapped the plump, heavy sac. The flesh pursed under his tongue, wrinkling and drawing Milo‟s balls up higher. Cam moved on, laving the silken skin behind Milo‟s nuts. Milo writhed in response, sliding his dick against Cam‟s throat. The bulbous head left wet, smeared kisses against Cam‟s skin, marking him with the musky smell of male desire. The aroma infiltrated his nostrils and made his head swim with longing. He yearned to make Milo come, to breathe in the scent of their combined passions and bask in it. He doubted he‟d have to wait for long to make his desires reality. His own balls were tight against his body, his cock harder than it‟d ever been, and his groin burned with the need to fire his load. Before he allowed himself to give in, he craved just a taste of the forbidden fruit located mere centimeters away from his lips. Pulling down on Milo‟s ass, Cam lifted his head and flicked his tongue over Milo‟s pucker, testing the waters. Just in case, he asked, “Milo? Is this okay?” Milo shuddered and pulled off Cam‟s cock. “God, yes… Do whatever you want. Just don‟t stop.” He dropped his mouth back over Cam‟s cock and resumed driving him crazy. Cam focused in on his target with aplomb, lapping over and around Milo‟s entrance. Once the area was good and wet, he rolled his tongue into a petite spear and prodded the slick hole. He set up a fast back-and-forth rhythm, mimicking the way he wanted to fuck Milo‟s ass with his cock, if he was ever given the chance.
68
Amanda Young
Milo bucked and moaned. The heat around Cam‟s shaft disappeared. “Fuck, Cam… I‟m coming.” A shiver racked Milo‟s body. He jerked, and wet heat spilled down the side of Cam‟s neck. The musky scent of Milo‟s pleasure, combined with the humid breath still wafting over the head of Cam‟s cock, propelled Cam closer to his own nirvana. The addition of Milo‟s glossy tongue sliding over his crown, dipping into the slit on every pass, was all it took to send Cam right over the edge along with his lover.
Reckless Heart
69
Chapter Nine Milo dragged his tired ass home after yet another long shift at work. His feet ached, and his lower back throbbed from his carrying heavy trays from the kitchen to the dining room and back again for twelve hours straight. However, even exhaustion wasn‟t enough to make him stop thinking about the one thing he‟d been trying to escape for the past month. Cam. Milo couldn‟t get the older man out of his mind. He didn‟t know what it was about Campbell Brooks that was so goddamn special, but the man had wormed his way right under Milo‟s skin and refused to leave him alone. Unfortunately, memories were all Milo had left. Although they‟d swapped numbers and e-mail addresses, he hadn‟t heard a peep from Cam. Since then, Milo had done nothing but work and try to bury his simmering feelings for Cam as deep as they would go. He was so preoccupied he‟d even passed up the opportunity to go to the huge Halloween bash at the Casbah last weekend—an event he‟d been looking forward to crashing ever since he‟d heard Cody describe how awesome it was the previous year. Caring about Cam—or pining away, as his mama would have called it, had the affliction belonged to one of his older sisters—was an effort in futility since the rich bastard had apparently forgotten Milo‟s very existence. To be honest, Milo wasn‟t sure why he had expected to receive a call in the first place. It was obvious Cam had issues with commitment. Not that Milo had been asking the asshole to commit to him for more than friendship and a good time, but still… The least Cam could have done was picked up the phone and let Milo know
70
Amanda Young
he‟d made it home alive. Even if Cam didn‟t want anything more from Milo, they could have stayed friends, just like Milo had offered at the wedding. He‟d meant it when he‟d said he could use someone to talk to. Then again, he should probably be used to rejection by this point in his life. It shouldn‟t sting so much. Everyone he‟d ever known and loved had rejected him for one reason or another. His family had stopped caring about him once they‟d discovered he wasn‟t their perfect, innocent little boy. Billy, his best friend and the boy he‟d thought he was in love with, had turned his back the moment Milo had come bursting out of the closet. The bastard had the nerve to claim he wasn‟t a fag if Milo was the only one doing the sucking. All the friends he‟d grown up with were similarly gone. The only person who‟d stood by him was Dante, and yet there were times when Milo was positive Dante hated him as well. If Milo‟s luck held true, Dante would probably get sick of having his kid brother hanging around, cramping his style at any minute and kick Milo out too. Milo heaved a sigh. Was it possible to be sick of your own whining? Because he was so there. If he did nothing else, he needed to pull his head out of his own ass and forget about Cam. The man wasn‟t coming back. Whatever Milo had thought was happening between them didn‟t matter. Anything they‟d shared was over now. Cam didn‟t want him. Milo just had to get that through his thick skull and move on. Seeing as how it was going on midnight, Milo expected to have the apartment to himself. Dante was at work and wouldn‟t be home until two or later, and Cody rarely stayed over unless Dante was home. Any thought of plopping his ass down on the sofa, vegging out, and flipping channels in peace and quiet vanished as he entered the apartment. Judging by the thunderous death-metal music spilling out of the living room, Cody was in the house and none too happy. Fabulous. The last thing I feel like dealing with is my brother’s cranky boyfriend.
Reckless Heart
71
With a sigh, Milo took off his jacket and hung it up on the coatrack just inside the door. He placed his keys up on one of the four decorative hooks hanging above the foyer table so he wouldn‟t misplace them—again—and headed into the living room with all the excitement of a man headed down the long green mile toward his doom. He loved his brother, but Dante was the world‟s worst about pissing off the man he professed to love. It wasn‟t that he did it on purpose so much as his lack of communication skills that was usually at fault. No matter how clear it was that the two men were passionately in love with each other, Dante‟s gruff demeanor was not a match made in heaven for Cody‟s tender heart. Nevertheless, the two men seemed happy most of the time. On the odd days when they were fighting, Milo would either leave or try to be invisible. He didn‟t particularly want to get caught up in their petty arguments. Tonight, however, he was too exhausted to go somewhere else, and yet he didn‟t want to hang out in his room and stare at the ceiling until he fell asleep. He couldn‟t ignore Cody‟s presence and turn in for the night. His conscience wouldn‟t allow it. Cody had always been nice to him; the least he could do was return the favor. He just hoped he could cheer Cody up before he keeled over from exhaustion. Walking into the living room, Milo found Cody sitting on the sofa and staring at the music videos streaming over the flat-screen television on the wall across from the plush sectional. Although the temperature had dropped to near-freezing outside, Cody was dressed in a white crew-neck T-shirt and a threadbare pair of navy sweatpants that were cut off above his knees. His bare feet were propped on the glass-topped coffee table, something Milo did too, although Dante bitched about the heel prints they left behind on the slick surface. Cody looked up as Milo approached the sofa. He picked up the remote and turned down the volume. “Hey. I didn‟t hear you come in.” “I imagine not. You had the speakers blaring, man.” Cody shrugged. “Music isn‟t any good unless it‟s loud.”
72
Amanda Young
“The neighbors probably wouldn‟t agree with you.” “Shit. I didn‟t think of that. This place seems to have pretty thick walls, but I‟m surprised no one‟s complained yet.” “You all right?” “Yeah. I‟m just”—Cody‟s forehead wrinkled—“frustrated, I guess.” Milo snorted. “What has my brother done now?” “You really don‟t want to know.” “Sure I do. He‟s always lecturing me about one thing or another; it‟s nice being able to hear someone bitch about him on occasion.” “Well, if you insist.” Cody sat up and folded his legs underneath him. “Do you know what today is?” “Sunday?” Judging by the blank expression on Cody‟s face, that certainly wasn‟t the answer the other man had been looking for. “Uh no, I guess not.” “Neither does Dante, apparently.” “Oh.” That was about as clear as mud. “So what‟s so special about today?” “It‟s our anniversary. We sealed the deal, if you know what I mean, one year ago today.” “I thought you started dating last Halloween? I remember you saying something about hooking up at a costume party.” “Nah. We fooled around that night, but it wasn‟t until the following weekend when we reached an understanding.” “And now he‟s forgotten, huh? That‟s gotta suck.” However, Milo still felt that a forgetful boyfriend was better than no boyfriend at all—not that he had any intention of saying as much to Cody. “Mm-hmm.” Cody picked at a loose thread hanging off the end of his sweatpants. “To say the least.” “I‟d like to say I‟m surprised, but that would be a lie. Dante may be my brother—and I love him—but he‟s still a man. He‟s an asshole just like all the rest.
Reckless Heart
73
All most men want is to get their rocks off. Once they do, they could care less about who was there with them.” “Oh, honey.” Cody got up and moved to sit beside Milo. “Do you want to talk about it?” “What?” “Whoever has you all wound up.” “What makes you think that?” “Gee, I don‟t know. It could be the „all men are assholes‟ comment.” “Yeah, well…they are.” With a frown, Milo decided to alter his statement a tad. “Most of them are, anyway. Present company excluded, of course.” “Thanks a lot.” “Don‟t mention it.” Dante would skin him alive if he heard Milo had insulted Cody, and pissing off his brother was the last thing he needed right now. Strangely enough, the urge to flee and get his own place had all but disappeared lately. The very thought of living alone left him cold and more than a little homesick for a taste of the acceptance he‟d never be able to reclaim now that his bridges were burned with the rest of his family. “Tell you what… How about we cut through the bullshit and you go ahead and spill your guts already. We both know you‟re going to eventually anyway, and this way we can save the drama of me having to torment the truth out of you.” “Fine.” Although Milo would never admit it, not even under threat of torture, part of him was grateful for the opportunity to talk about Cam. “There isn‟t much to tell.” “Let me be the judge of that.” “Do you remember the guy I asked about after Beau and Adam‟s commitment ceremony?” “Sure. Campbell Brooks, right?”
74
Amanda Young
“Yeah. That‟s him.” Cam‟s image floated through Milo‟s mind and then dissipated like an elusive mist. “He was in town that week. We met the night I stayed out late. Dante popped a gasket, remember? Then we ran into each other again at Beau and Adam‟s wedding. We spent the weekend together and really clicked, you know? I really liked him.” Milo sighed. “We exchanged numbers before he left, but I haven‟t heard from him.” “Ouch. Sorry, buddy.” “Yeah.” That about summed it up. He‟d gone and fallen for the one man who didn‟t want him as anything more than a trick, and now he was suffering the consequences. “Did he promise to stay in touch?” “No.” “Have you tried to contact him?” “No.” “All right. Then, not to play devil‟s advocate or anything, but how can you fault him for doing—or not doing—the same thing as you?” Milo frowned. “Why should I be the one to contact him?” “Someone has to make the first move.” “I know that.” “Well…” “Well, what?” Milo liked Cody—he really did—but the man was starting to get on his nerves. “Do you like him enough to put yourself out there and face rejection, or are you just going to give up?” “It doesn‟t matter what I want.” He couldn‟t just snap his fingers and get what he wanted. Life didn‟t work that way.
Reckless Heart
75
“Sure it does. I never would have hooked up with Dante if I hadn‟t gone after what I wanted. It wasn‟t like your brother was thrilled with the idea of dating someone so much younger.” “Even if Cam was willing to give me a chance, he‟s there and I‟m here.” “It‟s not like you have a ton of stuff holding you here. There are schools in New York too. You could move there.” “I guess.” If he was willing to leave behind everything—yet again—and start over someplace new, where the only person he knew may or may not want to have anything to do with him. The only difference was, this time he‟d be completely alone and at the world‟s mercy. And then there was the issue of money. “Except the schools there would charge me an arm and a leg because I‟d technically be an out-ofstate resident for the first year. Not to mention the cost of living in New York is a hell of a lot higher than it is here.” “Excuses, excuses.” “That‟s easy for you to say. You come from money. I have a few grand earmarked for college and not much else. I doubt my vehicle would even make the drive.” “I‟m sure Dante would be willing to help.” “There‟s no way I would ask Dante for money. It‟s bad enough that I‟m living with him.” Cody nibbled on his lower lip. “I might know of another way to test the waters with Cam without traveling to New York, but I‟m not sure if I should tell you.” “Why not?” “It might not be the best time to approach the man.” “Huh? Now you have me confused. Do you know something about Cam or not?” “Maybe.”
76
Amanda Young
“Jeez.” Milo rubbed the bridge of his nose where it met between his eyes. “Either tell me or don‟t, I don‟t care. I‟m tired, and now I‟m getting a damn headache.” “I can‟t be certain, but Campbell might be in town.” “Why do you think that?” “His dad passed away a couple of days ago. The funeral is tomorrow.” “Oh.” Poor Cam. Milo wondered if Cam had spoken to his father since they‟d argued that day in front of Pearl‟s. He wasn‟t on the best of terms with his own old man, but he couldn‟t imagine how he‟d feel if the situation was reversed. He didn‟t even want to think about it. “Damn.” “I know. It‟s sad, right? I didn‟t know Cam‟s father, but it‟s always depressing to hear about someone dying.” “Yeah.” Impotent sorrow bubbled up inside him for what Cam must be going through. He wanted to comfort Cam and offer his support, but so much time had gone by that he wasn‟t sure if it would even be appropriate to call. Fear of rejection had kept him from picking up the phone. Now he just needed to figure out if risking a dent in his pride was worth reaching out to a friend in need.
Reckless Heart
77
Chapter Ten Cam stood on the fringes of the large sea of mourners surrounding his father‟s final resting place and listened as the minister droned on and on about all manner of things that bounced in one ear and out the other. All Cam could hear was the final words his father had said to him: “This isn’t over, Campbell. You’ll be hearing from my attorneys.” Cam swallowed back the lump rising in his throat. His father couldn‟t have been more wrong. Here Cam stood, barely a month after those hastily spoken words, and he hadn‟t heard a peep from or about his father until Beau Bradbury called to offer his condolences. At the time Cam hadn‟t even been aware that his father had suffered a severe heart attack and passed away the day before. If not for Beau, chances were good Cam wouldn‟t have found out until next year when he made his annual pilgrimage home. He sure as hell wouldn‟t have learned the truth in time to come home and say good-bye. Frankly, he was beginning to think that if he‟d been smart, he would have stayed home. He wasn‟t wanted here. That much was clear. The only person who‟d even spoken to him was Ted Smith, one of the bloodsucking lawyers who‟d represented his father for as long as Cam could remember. To his dismay, he caught sight of the lawyer once again slinking up beside him. Cam buried his gloved hands deep in the pockets of his trench coat and steeled himself for whatever the man had to say this time around. Last time, at the church service, the lawyer had demanded Cam not try to sit in the front pew reserved for immediate family. “Campbell,” Ted said with a nod.
78
Amanda Young
“Ted.” “I‟m sorry to ask this of you at a time like this, but your stepmother requests that you not attend the reception being held at the house after the service. She says you make her uncomfortable.” “I‟m not surprised.” Cam glanced at the woman his father had married only weeks after his parents‟ divorce was final. She sat facing the coffin, dressed in a black dress so low cut Cam was surprised she didn‟t spill out of it every time she took a deep breath. “However, I‟m afraid I won‟t be able to attend the reception anyway. I have other matters to attend to this evening.” Like the fifth of tequila waiting in his hotel room. “Good.” Ted pursed his thin lips. “I assume you‟ll be sticking around for the reading of your father‟s will tomorrow morning.” “No, I don‟t see any reason to.” He‟d been erased from his father‟s will a long time ago. “I have to catch a flight home in the morning.” “I see. Nevertheless, I suggest you contact my office when you‟re able. You might be surprised by what you learn.” Cam highly doubted that. “Sure. I‟ll make note of that.” And he‟d get in touch with the man just short of when hell froze over. Sitting across from the pompous bastard‟s desk and listening to the details of why and how he‟d been disinherited was not his idea of a good time. “All right, young man. See that you do.” Cam smothered the inclination to roll his eyes as Ted walked away. Instead he tuned back in to what the minister was saying just in time for the final prayer and a request for everyone in attendance to bow their heads. Rather than comply, Cam pivoted and strode away from the gravesite, careful to keep his head up and his shoulders straight. If there was one gift his mother had bestowed on him, it was how to look like you were on top of the world when the earth was crumbling beneath your feet. Under no circumstances would he allow anyone to see they‟d gotten to
Reckless Heart
79
him. He couldn‟t care less if he wasn‟t invited back to the home where he‟d grown up. It wasn‟t as if he‟d planned to attend anyway. He wasn‟t sure why he‟d bothered coming home for the funeral. As much as he‟d like to blame his decision on wanting to keep up appearances, not a single thought had gone to what people in the small town would think of him one way or the other. He‟d stopped caring about shit like that a long time ago. All he‟d had in mind when he‟d booked his flight was getting home to say good-bye to his father. Surprisingly, the animosity and hurt he‟d harbored had disappeared and been replaced with an overwhelming sense of regret. A week earlier, if someone had asked him if there was any chance of his burying the hatchet with his father, he would have said too much had happened to let bygones be bygones. Now that it was too late, he couldn‟t stop obsessing on how different things might have been. In a perfect world, his father wouldn‟t have been a workaholic and a man whore. His parents would have stayed together and accepted Cam‟s sexuality with the same ease as the color of his eyes or any other characteristic with which he‟d been born. And if cows could fly… As much as he might wish otherwise, there was no way to change the past. All he could do was attempt to make peace with it and move on. It wasn‟t as if his life was going to change. For all intents and purposes, he‟d been on his own for years now. He was used to it. Being alone meant the only person depending on him was himself, and he liked it that way. There was no one to disappoint. If he got lonely, a smorgasbord of fair-weather friends and acquaintances were only a phone call away as long as he was willing to foot the bill for the night. Cam made his way through the ocean of tombstones to the overfilled parking lot just beyond the cemetery. He glanced around, trying to remember where he‟d parked his rental. Or what his rental even looked like. After having picked it up hours earlier, he now couldn‟t recall the make or model. He did, however, remember
80
Amanda Young
the vehicle was the color of peas. The only problem was he saw at least a dozen green vehicles. The chilly wind carried the sound of his name. Cam turned toward the voice, expecting to find one of his stepmother‟s flunkies following him away from the cemetery. Instead the young man he hadn‟t been able to stop thinking about for the last few weeks stood beside a two-toned monstrosity of a Jeep parked by the curb. Although the vehicle was primarily black, primer gray surrounded the front and back fenders. Pockets of rust marred the rocker panel. It could have been a ten-speed bicycle for all Cam cared. He‟d never seen a more welcome face in all his life. Discarding the search for his car, Cam headed toward Milo. A tendril of guilt wormed its way into the forefront of Cam‟s mind. Although he‟d thought about Milo more than he‟d care to admit, he hadn‟t seen the point of staying in contact with the younger man. Talking to Milo and not being able to reach out and touch him would have been torture. Something else occurred to Cam. Maybe he didn‟t have anything to feel bad about after all. Milo hadn‟t called him either. Approaching Milo, Cam stepped into the dry, brittle grass hanging on to life between the asphalt parking lot and the roadside curb. “Hey. Not that I‟m complaining, but what are you doing here?” “I thought you might need a friend.” Milo gazed beyond Cam to the crowd of mourners beginning to spill out of the cemetery. “I‟m really sorry about your dad.” “Thanks.” A cold breeze ruffled Cam‟s hair. He watched Milo shiver beneath a thin navy peacoat and wanted to wrap his arms around the younger man to warm him up. Before he could second-guess his motives, Cam latched on to his desire to spend a little more time with Milo. “I appreciate you taking the time to find me, but it‟s cold as fuck out here. I was just planning to go back to my hotel room and have a drink. You‟re welcome to join me.” Cam‟s heart raced as he waited for Milo‟s
Reckless Heart
81
response. He wasn‟t sure why the other man‟s reply was so important, but it felt as if his very sanity was dependent on what Milo said next.
*** Milo had damn near driven himself crazy trying to figure out whether he should approach Cam. On the one hand, he didn‟t want to look like a psycho stalker. On the other, he figured he would drop by and check up on any friend who‟d just lost a relative. In the end, he couldn‟t make himself stay away. All the turmoil and indecision he‟d suffered vanished in light of how relieved and pleased Cam had appeared after Milo agreed to follow him back to the hotel where he was staying. Milo doubted he would ever forget Cam‟s grateful expression. Now, sitting beside Cam at the tiny table in his room, Milo felt out of sorts about what he should say or do. He‟d been in Cam‟s room for almost half an hour, and they‟d exchanged fewer than a dozen words. Cam had cracked open a bottle of tequila and was sipping straight from the bottle. He‟d offered it to Milo a time or two, but Milo waved it away with a shrug, blaming his refusal to drink on not being able to drive later. In truth, he just didn‟t want to remind Cam of the gap in their ages. When Cam reached for the bottle yet again, Milo laid his hand over Cam‟s, stilling the other man before he could imbibe more. “Do you want to talk about it?” “What‟s there to say?” “I don‟t know.” Milo met Cam‟s bloodshot gaze. “But if you want to reminisce about your dad, I‟m more than willing to listen.” “You aren‟t supposed to speak ill of the dead, and nothing I could say about him would be flattering.” “I‟m sorry.” Milo wasn‟t sure what else to say. If the dark circles under Cam‟s eyes and the binge drinking were anything to go by, he didn‟t believe Cam was handling the death as well as the other man wanted to believe. Not surprisingly,
Amanda Young
82
even with bags under his eyes, wind-tousled hair, and stubble clinging to the sharp ridge of his jaw, Cam still looked good enough to eat. Milo may have been on his best behavior at the moment, but he wasn‟t blind. If anything, Cam looked better than Milo remembered. “It‟s all right. I‟ve come to grips with his feelings about me a long time ago. This just cements things.” Cam slid his hand out from underneath Milo‟s and sat back. Milo was relieved Cam didn‟t reach for the bottle again. He didn‟t have anything against alcohol, but he also didn‟t want Cam to drink so much that he was incoherent. At the very least, he‟d like Cam to remember who spent the evening with him. “And anyway,” Cam continued, “I don‟t want to talk about me. Tell me what you‟ve been doing lately.” “Not a lot.” Milo shrugged. “Mostly working at the restaurant and hanging out at home.” “Come on now. Do you really expect me to believe a young, good-looking guy like you has been sitting at home doing nothing for the last month?” “It‟s the truth.” Cam rolled his eyes. “If you say so.” “You don‟t believe me?” “No.” “Why not?” “It could be because I remember how easily I got your pants off.” Milo wanted to get mad, but Cam kind of had a point. Plus, he had a feeling the older man was only trying to pick a fight so he wouldn‟t have to think about his father. Milo wasn‟t going down that road. “Maybe, but that doesn‟t mean I drop trou for everyone.” “Why me, then?”
Reckless Heart
83
Milo frowned. “You have a big enough ego without me stroking it any more.” Cam smirked. “I‟ve got something else you can stroke.” “You‟d like that, wouldn‟t you?” “What‟s not to like?” “Here‟s a thought: why don‟t you tell me what you‟ve been doing since you left town?” Groaning, Cam ran his right hand through his hair, making the wild, auburn brown tufts stick up all the more. “I schmoozed prospects, signed mountains of forms, and thought about you a lot more than was probably appropriate.” Milo swallowed. He stared at Cam, trying to gauge his sincerity, while everything inside him tightened and quivered with renewed hope. “You could have called.” “I didn‟t see the point.” “Nice…” …way for Cam to thrust the knife in and break it off. “I‟m sorry, Milo, but would you rather I lie to you? Claim I was too busy or that I lost your number?” “No.” Milo scowled. “I want the truth. I just didn‟t except you to be so blunt.” “Don‟t get me wrong; it‟s not like I didn‟t want to talk to you. It‟s just that it wouldn‟t have been the same. Hearing your voice only would have been a tease.” “Well…” Milo didn‟t know if that was the sweetest thing he‟d ever heard or the lamest. For the moment, he was going with the former. “I‟m here now.” “So I see. The question is, why are you here? I‟m sure it‟s not for my sparkling personality, since all my charm seems to be absent today.” “You‟re my friend. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” “No. That‟s why you sought me out at the cemetery. It doesn‟t explain why you‟re here.” Cam waved his hand in the air, pointing at the hotel room around them.
Amanda Young
84
“You seemed like you didn‟t want to be alone.” When no response was immediately given, a chunk of ice settled in the pit of Milo‟s stomach. “Was I wrong? Do you want me to leave?” “Don‟t be ridiculous.” “Listen, Cam…” Milo rose to his feet and stared down at Cam, silently beseeching him to say something meaningful enough to give Milo a reason to stay. He didn‟t want to leave, but he couldn‟t hang around and allow Cam to walk all over him either. “I care about you, but I don‟t like games. I‟m not going to stay and keep you company if you‟re going to be an asshole.” “Wait.” Cam grabbed Milo‟s wrist. “I‟m sorry. I‟m not trying to be an asshole.” “Why are you, then?” “I don‟t know.” “Is that the best you‟ve got?” “It‟s all the excuse I have. Please, don‟t go. I—” Cam released Milo‟s hand and caressed his forearm. “You were right about what you said before. I don‟t want to be alone. I‟d like to be with you. No one else, just you, Milo.” “That‟s all you had to say.” Milo dropped to his knees in front of Cam‟s chair. “As long as you want me, I‟m not going anywhere.” He wrapped his arms around Cam‟s waist, buried his face in Cam‟s chest, and inhaled, filling himself with the scent of the man he…loved? Oh God. Do I love Cam? It didn‟t seem possible. After all, outside of the bedroom, they barely knew each other. Could that be why he‟d spent so much time thinking about Cam, trying to figure out what was so special that had captured Milo‟s interest from the moment he‟d laid eyes on him? Milo didn‟t dare say the words aloud, but he tried them on for size. I love Cam. There. He‟d said it, if only in his mind. To his surprise, the words felt scary but right.
Reckless Heart
85
I’m in love with Cam. A hysterical rush of panic besieged him. He tightened his arms around Cam and hung on while everything he knew about his personal universe spun out of control. He couldn‟t have chosen a worse man to trust with his heart. Not only did they live in different states, but Cam seemed perfectly content to fuck and run. The way Milo saw it, he had two options: he could swallow his pride, admit his feelings, and take the scraps of attention Cam was willing to feed him, or he could bury his emotions in the back of his mind until they eventually faded into nothing more than a bittersweet memory. Since he‟d had enough of being treated like shit by the people who claimed to love him best, Milo figured option two was the only way to go. In the meantime, he still had this one night with Cam. He could spend what little time they had left memorizing every detail to get him through the lonely months ahead and do his best to pretend his tiny world hadn‟t just tilted on its axis. Milo released his death grip on Cam and looked up into eyes the color of spring grass. “I want to be with you too.” “Stay with me tonight.” Cam leaned forward in his seat and tugged the plain black band from Milo‟s hair, releasing it to swing loose around Milo‟s face and graze his shoulders. “Make me forget.” “How can I say no?” By staying, Milo would accomplish two tasks: he would appease Cam and soothe his own need to lose himself in Cam‟s strong arms one more time before the man he loved left him once again. Milo stood and held out his hand. “Come to bed with me.”
86
Amanda Young
Chapter Eleven Desire ignited inside Milo and multiplied at an alarming rate that seemed to be tied to the brush of Cam‟s lips against his own. His pulse thundered in his ears so loud he feared he wasn‟t the only one who could hear it. Tonight was the night. Sometime between his realization and the moment when Cam stood and pulled him into his arms, Milo had decided on doing more than exchanging hands and mouths for the evening. This was it. In a matter of moments, they would be on the bed and Cam would be inside him. Nimble fingers made quick work of their clothing while they continued to kiss. Cam shoved Milo‟s jeans down his thighs, while Milo opened Cam‟s slacks and allowed them to slide down Cam‟s legs under the burden of their own weight. Cam clasped the hem of Milo‟s shirt and jerked it up, forcing Milo to abandon his lips long enough to remove the offending garment. As soon as it passed his nose, Milo slammed his mouth back over Cam‟s and took up where he‟d left off. Already unbuttoned, Cam‟s shirt hung open and framed the impressive contours of his chest. It wasn‟t enough. Milo slid his hands up Cam‟s chest, testing the resilience and smooth skin and firm sinew, and slipped his fingers beneath the soft fabric. He ran his palms over Cam‟s shoulders and pushed the material off. The flesh beneath Milo‟s touch was hot and hard, just as a man‟s should be. Reluctant to relinquish Cam‟s lips again, Milo walked backward until his legs hit the mattress. The tips of their tongues touched, and lightning shot down Milo‟s spine. Blood pumped south and erased any bit of hesitance. He wrapped his arms around Cam‟s chest and held on tight while he himself fell backward onto the bed.
Reckless Heart
87
Laughing, Cam lifted up and kissed the tip of Milo‟s nose. “If you wanted me in bed, all you had to do was ask.” “As I recall, I did ask. You were taking too long.” “Funny.” Cam rolled onto his back and fought to get his shoes and his slacks the rest of the way off. “I thought so.” Milo watched the flex and play of Cam‟s lean muscles rippling with every movement. He was still lying there, soaking in the view, when Cam finished and rolled onto his side to face Milo. Cam ran the tips of his fingers down Milo‟s chest. “Are you planning to keep your shoes on all night?” “Huh?” Milo dragged his gaze away from Cam‟s groin and met his lover‟s eyes. Cam nodded toward the side of the bed where Milo‟s legs hung over the edge. Denim bunched around his calves above his sneakers. “Want to lose those, or do I need to do it for you?” Milo didn‟t want to move. “Go for it.” Cam hopped off the bed, his prick bobbing beneath its own weight, and latched onto Milo‟s right leg. Without bothering with the laces, Cam yanked one shoe and then other off. They hit the floor with a muffled thud. The jeans quickly followed suit. Before Cam could come back to bed, Milo asked, “Do you have supplies?” “Sure.” Cam ran his palms up and down Milo‟s thighs. “There‟s rubbers and lube in my toiletry bag.” Milo pushed down his trepidation of the unknown and offered Cam the only thing of value he still possessed. “Want to get them?” Cam hands hovered over Milo‟s knees. “Does that mean what I think it does?” “Uh-huh. Please?” “It‟s not like I‟m going to say no.” Cam grinned. “Are you sure, though? You never did tell me why you have such an aversion to anal.”
88
Amanda Young
“I don‟t dislike it. I‟ve just never done it.” Admitting as much to someone as experienced as Cam almost killed Milo, but he choked on his pride and kept going. “It‟s always been easier to use hands and mouths, you know? I didn‟t really want to take the time to go that far with someone when we were just in it to get off.” “Oh.” That wasn‟t exactly the response Milo was looking for. He swallowed the overabundance of saliva in his mouth. “Is that all right? I mean, if you‟ve changed your mind, we can just swap head, if you‟d rather.” Cam frowned. “No.” Shit. “No?” “Sorry. I meant, no, I haven‟t changed my mind. I‟ve never been anyone‟s first—not that I know of, anyway—but I‟m glad you told me.” “Why?” “So I can make it good for you. Why else?” “I don‟t know.” Relief coursed through Milo. For a minute there, he‟d been convinced Cam would turn him down. Some men were weird about tackling inexperience. “Let me get the supplies, and then I‟ll be right back.” Cam turned, flashed his tight buns, and disappeared into the bathroom. Seconds later he was back with the necessary supplies cradled in his hands. He laid a strip of rubbers and a dented bottle of lube on the pillow and then crawled back onto the bed beside Milo. Their lips connected again, teeth and tongues clashing in an all-out assault. Milo smoothed his hand over the back of Cam‟s nape and held on as he slanted his head to the side, searching for a better fit for their lips. He moaned as Cam‟s tongue slid alongside his own, teasing him with tiny flicks and longer caresses. With his free hand, Milo kneaded the space between Cam‟s broad shoulders. Cam‟s hands wandered everywhere: across Milo‟s chest and abs, up and down his arms, and over his hips and upper thighs. The one place Cam‟s touch was needed
Reckless Heart
89
went ignored. Lying hard against his stomach, Milo‟s cock wept for the same attention the rest of his body was receiving. His balls hung hot and heavy, impatient to unburden their cumbersome load. They kissed and touched for what seemed like hours. Milo wriggled against Cam, desperate for more. It was all he could do not to beg. Panting for air, he broke free of Cam‟s drugging kisses and ran his lips over Cam‟s jaw. Stubble scraped his mouth until he reached the smooth skin beneath Cam‟s ear. He nipped Cam‟s lobe and laved away the hurt. “Enough teasing. I want you now.” With a groan, Cam lifted up on his elbows and stared down at Milo. “I can‟t wait. How do you want me?” “This is good.” Milo wanted to stay on his back, where he could see everything. He wanted to be able to look up and see Cam moving above him, taking him for the first time. He didn‟t want to miss a single detail, no matter how small. “Fine with me.” Cam pressed kisses down the center of Milo‟s chest, stopping just below his navel. He dipped his tongue into Milo‟s belly button and wiggled it around. Milo gasped and laughed. “Stop. That tickles.” Cam smiled up at Milo. “Feels good too, though, doesn‟t it?” “Maybe.” Milo ran his fingers through Cam‟s short hair and applied pressure to the top of his lover‟s head. “I know something that would feel better.” “Me too.” Cam scooted lower, spreading out between Milo‟s legs. He skirted around the base of Milo‟s cock, his breath blowing hot and humid over Milo‟s shaft. Gritting his teeth for control, Milo waited for wet heat to envelop his shaft. What he got was the slick glide of Cam‟s tongue sliding over his balls. Using long, broad strokes with the flat of his tongue, Cam laved Milo‟s balls from top to bottom and back again. He pulled one and then the other into the hot inferno of his mouth and lightly sucked on the delicate orbs.
Amanda Young
90
Milo clenched the muscles in his thighs and buttocks, fighting to hold still. The moist caress of Cam‟s tongue sliding over his perineum and then his hole yanked a whimper from his throat. His toes curled into the bedspread as Cam spread open his cheeks and feasted on the tender, sensitive flesh within. “Oh God.” Milo‟s gaze widened as sensation upon sensation rained down on him. He tilted his hips upward, trying to give Cam more room to work his magic. Milo‟s focus darted from the ceiling to where Cam lay spread out between his legs, the older man‟s face pressed tight against Milo‟s bottom. “Jesus, Cam… That‟s good.” “Mmm-hmm.” Cam hummed his response while he continued to lick and prod Milo‟s back passage into submission. He pressed his thumbs into the flesh on either side of Milo‟s asshole, holding it open for each damp thrust. Unable to resist, Milo fisted his own cock and stroked in time with every new onslaught from Cam‟s tongue. He kept his grip loose, desperately trying not to come. Nevertheless, with much more stimulation, he probably wouldn‟t last long enough to let Cam get inside him. As it was, something that sounded suspiciously like a whimper slipped free of his clenched teeth. The introduction of a finger barely fazed Milo. One digit quickly became two and then three, stretching Milo open with gentle persuasion, while Cam‟s tongue lashed the stretched skin around his opening. As much as he craved feeling Cam inside him, the sting from three fingers pumping in and out of his body almost made him second-guess his decision to go all the way. Instead he pushed through the burn and rocked back against Cam‟s hand, hoping the hurt would fade quickly. Just as Milo was getting into it, the burn finally beginning to die away, Cam‟s touch retreated. Cam moved into position between Milo‟s thighs. He plucked the lube and one of the condoms off the pillow, tore the wrapper open, and rolled the latex down his shaft. He poured a healthy dollop of lube onto his fingers and stroked it over his thick tool. “Ready?”
Reckless Heart
91
“God, yes.” Milo spared a glance for Cam‟s dick, then looped his arms under his knees and pulled them back against his chest. “Please…just go slow.” “I will.” Cam nodded and took himself in hand. “If you decide you don‟t like it, all you have to do is tell me to stop.” He lined the blunt, latex-covered head of his erection up with Milo‟s entrance and bore down, sliding inside Milo one slow inch at a time, until Milo was sure he was going to burst from being so full. The sensation straddled the thin line between pleasure and pain. Never in his life had anything felt so overwhelming. Just when he was sure it was going to be too much for him, when he didn‟t think he could take another millimeter, Cam‟s balls settled against Milo‟s ass. Cam was all the way in. He knew Cam was hung—had held and kissed every inch of the man‟s beautiful cock on more than one occasion—but the damn thing felt twice as large as it looked. “Christ, you feel huge.” “No.” Cam leaned forward, putting a little of his weight on the back of Milo‟s thighs. “You‟re just really fucking tight.” A groan spilled from Cam. “You have to relax and loosen up a little for me, darlin‟. It feels like you‟re trying to squeeze my dick off.” “I‟m trying.” Milo lifted his upper body off the bed, seeking the comfort of Cam‟s lips. Cam bent forward, meeting Milo halfway, and settled his mouth over Milo‟s for a short, openmouthed kiss. The move caused Cam‟s cock to shift, nudging a sensitive erogenous zone deep inside Milo. The discomfort dissolved, blending so well with the pleasure that Milo wasn‟t sure where one began and the other ended. All he knew was that he wanted more. More sensation. More of Cam. More everything. Milo locked eyes with Cam. “It‟s okay now.” Better than okay. “You can move.” Please move. “Hang on.” Cam lowered himself until he was lying on top of Milo with his forearms braced on the pillow next to Milo‟s head. He kissed Milo and then pulled back far enough to gaze into his eyes. “Wrap your legs around my waist.”
92
Amanda Young
Milo obeyed and moaned as the move allowed Cam to sink deeper. “Cam…” “Okay?” Cam pressed his lips against Milo‟s jaw. “I really need to move now.” “Oh yeah.” Milo slid his arms around Cam‟s sides and ran his hands down Cam‟s smooth, sinewy back. “Give it to me.” Cam pulled back, not stopping until he was almost all the way out, then slowly pushed forward once again. All the while, he stared down at Milo with the most intense expression twisting his ruggedly handsome features. Milo tamped down the overwhelming urge to look away and kept his eyes wide open, surprised by how intimate such a simple act could be. Gazing into each other‟s eyes should have been nothing compared to the sensation of Cam‟s body joined with his own. Nevertheless, the eye contact seemed the more invasive of the two. Biting into the inside of his cheek, Milo tightened his thighs around Cam for leverage and rocked his hips, pushing up as Cam drove into him. Slow, rolling thrusts picked up speed until Cam was slamming into him. “Oh God! Cam… That feels so good.” Cam grunted and moved faster, building the friction between them. The squeal of the bedsprings groaning, damp skin slapping with every thrust, and their labored respiration was nearly deafening. Milo‟s heartbeat thundered in his ears, adding to the dissonance. Sandwiched by their straining torsos, Milo‟s stiff cock took a backseat to the new and wondrous pleasure of having his ass reamed. Used to being the center of attention, his prick ached for a firm hand. Rather than give in to his desire to stroke off, he focused all his concentration on the way Cam‟s thick cock drove into him, stretching unused muscles and hitting nerve endings Milo didn‟t even know were there. Every slick caress over his prostate nudged Milo ever closer to rapture. “Come on,” Cam commanded. “I‟m almost there.” “Don‟t stop.” Oh God. He‟d die if Cam stopped now.
Reckless Heart
93
“Not gonna.” Cam‟s humid breath wafted over Milo‟s throat, followed by the hot, slick press of his lips. His hips slammed to and fro, pistoning his cock in and out of Milo‟s body like a well-oiled machine. “I‟m not stopping till you come around me.” Milo squeezed his eyes shut, overwhelmed by the feeling of Cam over him, in him—everywhere all at once. All he knew was Cam‟s weight bearing down on him, the intimate claim being staked on his body. His balls drew tight; the burn in his groin accelerated at an alarming rate. “Isn‟t going to be much longer.” “Do it,” Cam demanded. His thrusts reached a fevered pace and grew erratic. A single bead of sweat rolled down his face, clung precariously to the tip of his chin, and then dropped onto Milo‟s neck. “Come for me.” Needing an extra push, Milo slid his hand between their slick torsos and wrapped his fingers around his cock. One hard stroke and a squeeze around the tip was all it took. Milo‟s muscles seized, locking up as pleasure flared through his body and burst into colorful fireworks on the inside of his eyelids. He whimpered, too overcome to summon the will to scream, and floated on the endorphins crashing through his system. “Oh shit.” With a long, beleaguered moan, Cam shoved deep and froze, trembling through his own release. “Milo…” Milo hugged Cam close and rubbed his back through the aftereffects until Cam stiffened and reached between them to hold the condom secure while he pulled out. “Sorry. I need to ditch the rubber.” “Of course.” Milo nodded. Realistically, he knew Cam needed to move before he softened and the condom slipped off. That didn‟t change the shiver that slid up his spine or the haunting sense of abandonment he felt when Cam rolled away and headed into the bathroom.
94
Amanda Young
In a matter of moments, Cam returned with a warm, wet washcloth. He tossed it to Milo, then pulled a pair of cotton sleep pants from the overnight bag sitting on the dresser. “Thought you might like this.” “Yeah.” Milo caught the damp cloth and swiped at rapidly drying semen on his stomach. He considered using it to clean up more delicate areas but balked at performing such a personal matter in front of Cam. “I‟m just going to visit the bathroom.” “Sure. Help yourself. There‟s soap and stuff in there, if you want to shower.” “Thanks.” Milo entered the restroom and closed the door behind him. He quickly made use of the toilet and wiped up, wincing at how sore his ass felt beneath the slightest touch. Afterward he washed his hands and splashed some cold water on his face. He stared into the mirror, searching for some change he couldn‟t identify. He wasn‟t sure what he expected to see, but there was nothing different about his reflection. The same unremarkable features he saw every morning stared back at him. Outside, he appeared calm and collected. Inside, he was in turmoil. His emotions were all over the place. If the vulnerable, raw feeling was any indication of what being in love meant, then he could do without it. He could be neurotic all on his own, without any extra incentive. Even so he didn‟t regret sleeping with Cam. Although it had hurt a little at first, Cam had been more than patient with him. The discomfort had faded quickly and left behind an all-encompassing sense of rightness. All that remained now was a lingering satiation and the persistent ache in his backside, as if Cam had soldered his name into Milo‟s flesh. Milo figured his first time being on the receiving end of things could have gone much, much worse. At least he‟d done it with someone he cared about, regardless of whether Cam returned the sentiment. With that dismal thought in mind, Milo exited the bathroom.
Reckless Heart
95
He found Cam lying sprawled across the bed. The older man‟s arms were thrown behind his head, his wrists crossed behind a plump white pillow. Milo crawled onto the mattress and spread out on his side, facing Cam. He propped his head up on one arm and slung the other around Cam‟s waist, snuggling in. He nuzzled his face against the soft hair covering Cam‟s chest and inhaled the intoxicating scent of their spent passion. “I could get used to this.” Cam made a noncommittal grunt. Milo wasn‟t sure how to take that. Insecurity clawed at him. However, before he could get too discouraged, Cam slid his arm under Milo‟s neck and pulled him in closer. With his head resting on Cam‟s shoulder, Milo watched his lover‟s chest rise and fall. Although he didn‟t want to push, his need to know how things were going to end demanded to be sated. “So,” he hedged. “What happens now?” Cam ran a hand down Milo‟s back. “What do you mean?” “Tonight was great, but what happens in the morning?” “I fly home.” “And then?” Even as he asked, Milo knew there was no hope. Cam stiffened, slid his arm from underneath Milo, and sat up on the edge of the bed. “What do you want me to say?” “The truth would be good.” Staring at Cam‟s back, Milo scooted up against the head of the bed and waited for a reply. “There are responsibilities waiting for me in New York.” Cam sighed, the sound unnaturally loud in the quiet room. “Your home is here. I don‟t see how the two can meet.” “So that‟s it? You‟re just going to fuck and run?” “What would you have me do, Milo? Stay here and play house with you?” Milo hugged his knees to his chest and fought down his inclination to scream and cuss. He could be mature about this, even if it killed him. “I‟d like you to act
96
Amanda Young
like a decent human being and acknowledge that I mean more to you than an easy lay.” Cam twisted around and glared at Milo. “Who said you do? I didn‟t make any promises when I invited you back here. Don‟t make assumptions about me.” “Fuck you, Cam.” Milo threw one of the pillows at Cam and hopped off the bed. He stormed over to where his clothes lay and hastily plucked it up off the floor. “You just don‟t get it. I‟m in love with you, asshole. Why do you have to be such a jerk?” With those parting words, Milo went into the bathroom and slammed the door. He cursed, more disgusted with himself than he was with Cam. Why did I have to blurt that out? Jesus, I’m a moron. He jerked on his clothes and then sat on the closed toilet lid to put on his shoes. Before he finished tying the laces, there was a knock at the door. “Milo?” “What?” Milo stared at the wood, trying to will the man on the other side not to say something to make things worse. “I‟m sorry.” “What for?” Milo was off the commode in a flash. He yanked the door open and glared at Cam. “You don‟t want me. I get it, and I‟m leaving.” Milo stormed past Cam, only to be pulled up short by a firm grip around his biceps. He twisted and defiantly stared up at Cam. “Let me go.” “Not so fast. I said I was sorry. You don‟t have to storm off like some wounded maiden.” “What would you have me do, Cam? Should I stay here and feed your ego a little more? I don‟t think so.” Milo tried to tug his arm free, to no avail. Cam‟s hold was too tight. So much so, he‟d probably have bruises there by morning. “Would you just stop fighting me and listen for a minute? I‟m trying to apologize here.” “And doing a piss-poor job of it.”
Reckless Heart
97
“I don‟t know why I said the things I did. I didn‟t mean it.” “That makes two of us.” Milo kicked Cam in the shin. “Damn it.” Cam cursed and released Milo. “That hurt.” “It wasn‟t supposed to tickle, asshole.” Cam sat on the edge of the nearest chair and rubbed his leg. “Fine. I‟m an asshole. I admit it. Does that make you happy?” Milo didn‟t even need to think about it. “Not really. No.” “Don‟t leave.” Cam held out his hand. “Stay. Please?” “Why should I?” “Because you love me.” Milo frowned. “I didn‟t mean to say that.” “Maybe not, but did you mean it?” Milo wasn‟t touching that question. Not now. “I plead the fifth.” “Fine. Have it your way.” “I will.” “You‟re wrong, you know.” “About what?” “I do want you. Believe me, that isn‟t an issue. I just don‟t know how to do this. I suck at relationships. With the added long-distance element, I‟m just not sure how it would work. We‟re almost dooming ourselves to failure.” Mil stifled a small flare of hope before it could blossom. “So you‟re just going to call it quits? You don‟t even want to try?” “I didn‟t say that.” Milo‟s patience ran short. “What are you saying, then?” “I don‟t know.” Cam stood and approached Milo. “Why don‟t you come with me?”
98
Amanda Young
Milo heart leaped in joy, then crashed at the realization that he had to say no. “I can‟t do that.” “Why not?” “I have friends and family here, a job, and school starting in January. I can‟t just pack up and move.” “Neither can I. There are too many people counting on me.” Milo frowned, his heart breaking. “Where does that leave us?” “I don‟t know.” Cam enveloped Milo in a tight hug. “I guess we‟ll just have to figure it out as we go.” Milo wrapped his arms around Cam and held on tight. He hoped his lover was right. He didn‟t want to think about the alternative.
Reckless Heart
99
Chapter Twelve The voice-mail light on Campbell‟s phone was flashing when he arrived home following a late dinner with the head of a food chain, who‟d agreed to a very generous charitable donation after much wheedling. Although he was tempted to ignore the machine, he picked up the phone and dialed in the appropriate codes. While listening, he crossed the living room to the large plate-glass window overlooking the city and stared out at the plethora of bright lights shining up at him. The first voice grated his nerves and reminded him why he‟d been contemplating a major life change. Marjory Heinz just would not be swayed to come off a single dime of her family fortune unless Campbell himself agreed to meet with her and discuss the particulars. The last thing he wanted was to spend another evening making nice with a bored, wealthy socialite for whatever trifling amount she was willing to contribute to the cause. During their previous dinner meeting, she‟d consumed more alcohol than one would think possible for a petite, middle-aged woman and spent the evening coming on to Cam at every possible opportunity. Frankly, he‟d rather have his balls waxed than sit through another evening like that one. Cam stabbed the Delete button. The second voice was like a balm for his weary soul. Milo‟s message was brief—just a short hello to let Cam know he was being thought of and a request to call when he had the time—but it was enough to remind Cam of the main reason he was so disenchanted with his current lot in life.
100
Amanda Young
Although he wasn‟t sure what he‟d done to deserve it, just knowing Milo was out there somewhere, loving him from afar and waiting for his call, filled Cam with a sense of happiness he‟d never thought possible. He‟d only been home for a week, and already all he could think about was returning to Virginia. Unfortunately, unless he was willing to delegate his responsibilities within the foundation to someone else, he was stuck living in New York. As much as he longed to be with Milo, he wasn‟t sure he was ready to give up his last remaining link to his mother. He felt he owed it to her to carry on her legacy, even at the cost of his own contentment. Being in charge of Sacred Hearts wasn‟t exactly a hardship. He truly enjoyed being in a position to help those less fortunate. He just wasn‟t sure he was the right person to be the face of the organization anymore. The fact of the matter was, whatever patience and enthusiasm he‟d once possessed was no longer there. Attending parties, hobnobbing with the rich and famous, and hosting one charity auction after another sounded like fun, but the bloom fell off the rose after a while. Whereas his mom had enjoyed socializing with the upper crust of Manhattan society, he had grown to dislike the pretentiousness of it all. Cam carried the cordless phone with him into the bedroom and set it on the nightstand while he stripped out of his suit and added the clothing to the bag waiting to be taken to the dry cleaners. Dressed only in his boxers, Cam climbed into bed, grabbed the phone, and dialed his lover‟s cell phone number. Impatient, he tapped the fingers of his free hand on his thigh while waiting for Milo to answer. Milo picked up on the third ring. “Hello.” “Hey.” Cam settled back against the cool pillows. “It‟s me.” “Hmm… Me who?” “Very funny.” Milo laughed. “I thought so.” “Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was out later than I expected. Next time just call my cell.”
Reckless Heart
101
“I would have, but I didn‟t want to interrupt if you were working.” “Believe me, I would have welcomed the interruption.” “That bad, huh?” “You have no idea. How was your night at work?” “Same shit, different day. I did pretty well on tips, though.” “Oh yeah? That‟s good. Every little bit helps, right?” “Definitely. I have enough put back for three semesters‟ worth of tuition.” “Considering what you make, I think that‟s damn great.” Milo was quiet for a moment. “Well, we couldn‟t all be born with silver spoons in our mouths.” Cam winced at Milo‟s disparaging tone. Shit. “I didn‟t mean it that way, Milo.” “I know. I guess I‟m just touchy about money, you know? It isn‟t easy to date someone who could probably buy and sell my ass a dozen times over and never blink an eye.” “As if I would ever sell your ass. Your fine derriere is all mine, and I plan to keep it that way.” “Smart-ass. You know what I meant.” “I do, and I appreciate your willingness to put up with my snobbery.” “Don‟t mention it. You should just be glad you‟re so sexy; otherwise, I might not be so eager to overlook your shortcomings.” “Uh-huh.” Cam grinned, knowing no one would see it in his darkened bedroom. “I don‟t think I‟ve ever been accused of coming too short.” Milo groaned. “Oh, that wasn‟t even funny. It was just bad.” “Yeah, well… Forgive me. It‟s late.” “I know it is. We should get off the phone and get some rest.”
102
Amanda Young
“We should. The thing is, I don‟t want to. Not yet.” Cam didn‟t want to lose touch with Milo so soon. Every night they chatted on the phone, he had to force himself to say good-bye. Tonight was no different. He didn‟t want to hang up. “Are you okay?” Cam was touched by the concern in Milo‟s voice. “I‟m fine. I just like talking to you.” “I miss you too. I wish you were here.” Cam sighed, relieved Milo had said it first. “Me too.” “This long-distance thing sucks.” “Yes, it does. I‟m not sure we have any other choice, though.” “That‟s cold comfort when I have to spend another night alone.” “You‟re not the only one sleeping by himself.” “I just didn‟t realize it would be this hard. Talking on the phone isn‟t enough.” Fear blossomed inside Cam‟s chest and settled into a ball of ice in the pit of his stomach. His hand fisted in the closest pillow. “What exactly are you saying?” “Not what you‟re thinking. Jesus, Cam. Have a little faith in me, okay? I‟m not going to walk away just because things aren‟t exactly the way I want them.” Cam took a deep breath and exhaled. “You‟re right. I‟m sorry. I shouldn‟t jump to conclusions. This is all just…new to me.” He‟d never had a relationship that lasted for longer than it took for both him and his partner to get off. “It‟s not like I‟m an old pro at this either, Cam. We can figure it out together.” “That sounds good.” He needed all the help he could get. “I haven‟t exactly had sterling examples of how this relationship thing is supposed to work.” “Who has? We‟ll figure out what works best for us and roll with it. It‟s just going to take time.” Time was the one thing he had in spades. “I‟m glad one of us has all the answers.”
Reckless Heart
103
Milo snorted. “Don‟t I wish. Speaking of which, I‟d really love it if you could make it down for Thanksgiving next week. Do you think you could fly down? Maybe even stay and spend the weekend?” “You want me to come up and spend the holiday with you?” “Yeah. Is that a problem?” “No. I‟d love to see you. But is it a family kind of thing?” “Not really. I mean, Beau‟s having the meal catered. We‟re supposed to go over there to eat and watch the game.” “Oh, okay.” Cam‟s mind wandered to his appointment book. He didn‟t think he had anything scheduled for that weekend, but he couldn‟t be sure without looking. “As long as I can get a flight, I‟ll be there for Thanksgiving. I‟m not sure about spending the weekend, though. I‟ll have to check my calendar and get back to you.” “All right.” Milo sounded so disappointed, Cam hastened to cheer him up. “You know what? Maybe if I don‟t have anything urgent happening, I can get someone else to cover for me and spend a little extra time with you. I don‟t think there‟s anything major going on right now.” Nothing that he wanted to do, at any rate. “Plus, I still need to come up and look at the house my father left me in his will.” “Do you think you‟ll keep it? It might be nice for you to have a permanent place here.” “I doubt it‟s livable. When I spoke to Ted Smith, he claimed the property was a summerhouse left to me because it belonged to Mom‟s family before she married my father. Since this is the first I‟m hearing about it, you can imagine my reservations. The place is probably a rickety shack; otherwise, he would have left it to his child bride, along with everything else.” “Don‟t be so pessimistic. No matter what condition it‟s in now, it could have a lot of potential.” “I hope you‟re right…” …about a lot of things.
104
Amanda Young
“I am. You‟ll see.” Milo yawned. “Listen, it‟s getting late. I think I‟m gonna call it a night.” “Okay. I‟ll call you tomorrow.” “Night, Cam.” “Good night.” Cam hung up and set the phone on the nightstand. He briefly considered getting up to shower but decided to put it off until the morning. He‟d much rather go to sleep with Milo‟s voice ringing in his ears. Anything he needed to worry about could be resumed in the morning. Dawn would come soon enough.
Reckless Heart
105
Chapter Thirteen As it turned out, Cam made it to Thanksgiving dinner, but only barely. The plane was scheduled to arrive at four, an hour before they were supposed to sit down for the evening meal at Beau and Adam‟s home. Rather than taking the extra time to hassle with a rental car, Milo happily volunteered to pick Cam up and drove an hour to the Roanoke Regional Airport to meet him. At ten past four, Milo paced back and forth in the small area just outside of security, still waiting for Cam to appear. His nerves were stretched taut from worry over when Cam‟s plane would arrive, how late they would be, and whether Cam would be able to stay for more than a day or two. The last time they‟d spoken, Cam was still working out the details and negotiating with whomever he wanted to fill in for him. Before he could convince himself of the worst—like Cam missing the plane— Cam came waltzing by security. As soon as he spotted Milo, a smile blossomed on his face and softened his features. His pace lengthened and brought him to within feet of where Milo stood. Milo closed the distance between them and hugged Cam hard, holding on tight for a touch too long, if the weird looks being shot in their direction were any indication. People were staring at them. As much as Milo wanted to ignore their surroundings, it just wasn‟t a good idea. Roanoke wasn‟t the most liberal area. With a touch of regret, Milo slapped Cam on the back and released him. “It‟s really good to see you.” “You too.” Cam took a step back. “I could get used to a welcome like that.” “You can count it. That and more.” Milo winked.
106
Amanda Young
“Sounds good to me.” “Let‟s pick up your luggage and get out of here.” On the way down the stairs to the first floor, he asked, “So, how long can you stay this time around?” “I have ten days. My return flight is scheduled for next Sunday. Darryl Oats, a member on the board of trustees, is going to cover for me. He‟s been gagging to take over some of my duties—especially courting the single females. I told him if he did well, we could talk about his taking over on a permanent basis.” “That‟s great. Does that mean you‟ll have more free time?” “No, not really.” Cam headed over to the luggage carousel. “I may actually have less.” “Oh.” Milo frowned. That certainly wasn‟t what he wanted to hear. “It can‟t really be helped. You see, there‟s this guy I‟m secretly crazy about who‟s sucking up all my frequent-flier miles and any spare time I can set aside.” Milo glanced over at Cam and found him grinning. He rolled his eyes. “Prick.” With a laugh, Cam pointed at the conveyor belt. “There‟s my bag.” With Cam‟s suitcase in tow, the two men made haste toward the exit and out into the parking lots beyond. Thanks to Milo‟s being forced to park in the long-term lot, they had a little farther to walk than normal. Fortunately, the weather was mild, even though it was the last week of November. The breeze had a bit of a bite, but the sun was bright and the sky clear. Milo was grateful. He‟d never cared for driving in the snow under the best of circumstances, much less in the Jeep, which was going to need new tires before the first big storm of the year. He‟d meant to have them replaced already, but he kept putting off spending the money. During the entire walk, the heat of Cam‟s gaze caressed Milo. By the time they reached the Jeep, he was shivering from pent-up desire more than the effects of the chilly wind. He unlocked Cam‟s door, then traveled around to the other side and got into the vehicle. Although he was tempted to jump Cam and beg his lover to warm
Reckless Heart
107
him up using a little fiction and creativity, Milo started the Jeep and cranked the heater instead. After all, neither of them needed to be arrested for public indecency on Thanksgiving. Once they were in the vehicle, it seemed as if a cocoon of safety settled over them and buffered them from the world outside. Milo leaned across the console, seeking physical reassurance that nothing had changed. To his relief, Cam met him halfway, seeming every bit as eager for the connection as Milo. The soft brush of Cam‟s lips brought to mind the last night they‟d spent together. Without thought, he summoned the feel of Cam‟s supple mouth combing over other, more intimate parts of his anatomy. He couldn‟t wait to experience it again for real. Heat unfurled low in his stomach at the thought of all the different ways he planned to make Cam come before dawn. All too soon, the heat of Cam‟s mouth vanished and was replaced with the cool swish of air flying through the vents. Milo opened his eyes and found Cam gazing at him with a tender expression. “I‟m really glad you‟re here.” Cam slid his hand over Milo‟s thigh. “Me too.” With a smile, Milo released the emergency brake and put the Jeep in reverse. After carefully backing out of the tight parking spot, Milo started the hour-long drive back to Blacksburg. During the ride, the talk was small, but the burgeoning emotions Milo felt every time he glanced over at the man riding shotgun were huge and more than a little frightening. He‟d always imagined love as some kind of over-the-top rush of giddiness. Instead, what he got was the emotional equivalent of a roller-coaster ride. Lost in thought, Milo didn‟t notice the light ahead changing from green to yellow until it was too late to stop. Rather than slam on the brakes, he hit the gas and sped through the intersection.
Amanda Young
108
Cam grabbed onto the “oh shit” handle above the door. “Jesus, Milo. What‟s the rush?” “We‟re going to be late.” “We‟ll be even later if you kill us on the way there.” Milo chuckled and spared a quick sideways glance at Cam. “That makes no sense.” “Well, you know what I‟m trying to say.” “I think so, yeah. If it makes you feel any better, I promise not to kill us. I‟m a good driver. Really. I‟ve never even had a speeding ticket.” “There‟s a first time for everything.” “Hardy har har.” The rest of the drive was spent chatting about all the little things neither of them had thought to share over the phone. Milo continued to sneak sidelong glances at Cam, silently wishing they were headed toward somewhere private instead of a house full of family and friends. It might have only been weeks since he‟d seen Cam, but damn if it didn‟t feel like forever. They arrived at Beau and Adam‟s home at ten minutes after five. All things considered, Milo thought they‟d made pretty good time. He parked in front of the house and led Cam inside, bypassing the doorbell since they were expected. “Nice house,” Cam commented as he followed Milo down the foyer toward the den at the back of the house. “It‟s a monster. I can‟t imagine living somewhere this huge.” Cam pinched Milo‟s ass. “Afraid you‟ll get lost?” “No, dork.” Milo swatted at Cam‟s hands. “I just have this mental picture of the kind of house I‟d like to live in one of these days, and it isn‟t a McMansion.” “Where do you see yourself living?” “It doesn‟t matter.” “Why not?”
Reckless Heart
109
“Why talk about it when it‟s going to be a long damn time before I own anything other than my Jeep.” Milo bit into his tongue to keep from reminding Cam that he wasn‟t made of money. At the moment, he couldn‟t even afford to rent an apartment. If not for his brother, he‟d probably be yet another homeless gay teen. He‟d seen the statistics about what happened to teenagers who were outed and then disowned. They weren‟t good. Milo was saved from further explanation by walking into the den where everyone was waiting. Cody jumped up from the black sectional sofa as soon as Milo entered the room. “Thank God. I thought I was going to fade away to nothing before you got here.” Milo shook his head in amusement. “You guys didn‟t have to wait on us.” “It wasn‟t a problem,” Adam replied. He nodded at Cam and brushed past Milo on his way into the hallway. “Let me just go make sure everything is ready.” Beau and Dante stood. Little Johnny continued to sit on the floor and play with a huge red fire truck. Cam squeezed Milo‟s shoulder, then stepped beyond him to greet the guys. Milo hung back and observed Cam interact with the others. His lover was polite but distant. To Milo, it almost seemed as if Cam wore his confidence like a shield. The lovable man, who could be both vulnerable and strong, was hidden beneath good posture and impeccable manners. Cam found Milo‟s gaze and winked. With a conceited little smirk, he waved Milo over. Milo‟s face felt like it was on fire. He couldn‟t take back the three dirty little words he‟d blurted out the last time they were together, but that didn‟t mean he wanted to look like a lovesick fool either. Stepping deeper into the room, Milo quickly thought up a safe subject to deflect attention away from him before he reached Cam‟s side. “Hey, Beau… What happened to watching the game while we eat?”
110
Amanda Young
Beau groaned. “Adam thought it would be nice to do something more traditional.” Snickering, Cody slapped his uncle on the shoulder. “Adam has you wrapped around his little finger, doesn‟t he?” Beau grabbed Cody‟s hand, twisted his nephew around into a headlock, and gave him a noogie. “Don‟t be such a brat.” Cody flailed, slapping at Beau‟s arm and side. “Let me go, old man, before I have to hurt you.” “I‟m terrified.” Beau laughed and kept rubbing his knuckles over Cody‟s skull. “Don‟t make me sic my boyfriend on you.” “Don‟t look at me.” Dante shrugged. “I know better than to stick my nose where it doesn‟t belong.” “You didn‟t feel that way last night when your nose was buried in my—” “Enough,” Beau interrupted, releasing Cody like he was covered in kryptonite. “I don‟t want to hear about that sh”—Beau cast a glance at Johnny and amended his words—“crap.” “Ha,” Cody said, skipping away from Beau. “I knew that would work.” Cam laughed and slung his arm over Milo‟s shoulder. “Good one, Cody.” Milo relaxed against Cam and listened to Cody and Beau bicker back and forth. He loved how playful and easy the two men were with each other. He hoped to eventually have such a close relationship with his brother. “So, Campbell…” Dante said, stepping up beside Cam. “Where do you see this thing with Milo going? I mean, do you believe there‟s a future here, or are you just using him to have a good time until a juicier piece of ass comes along?” “Language!” Beau bellowed, motioning toward Johnny. Milo glared at Dante. Note to self: Give up on the idea of a close relationship with Dante. Castrate him instead. “Could you be more of an asshole?”
Reckless Heart
111
“No,” Cam interrupted. “It‟s all right. Your brother‟s just looking out for your best interests. There‟s nothing wrong with that.” Dante smirked at Milo and then turned the full power of his attention on Cam. “So then you don‟t mind explaining your intentions with my little brother.” Beau burst out laughing. “If you recall, Dante, it hasn‟t been that long since I was asking you a similar question.” Dante scowled. “That was different.” “I don‟t see how,” Cody added. “I‟m only a year older than Milo. And isn‟t Cam younger than you?” Beau grinned and nodded. “He has you there, buddy.” “Whatever.” Dante rolled his eyes and crossed his arm over his chest like a petulant child. Milo watched the exchange with interest and more than a touch of embarrassment. He slid his fingers through Cam‟s and held on to his lover‟s hand. Lowering his voice, Milo said, “I‟m so sorry about this. I‟m not mentioning any names, but someone promised me they would be on their best behavior if you agreed to come for dinner.” “It‟s okay.” Cam smiled, though the expression didn‟t quite reach his eyes. “I don‟t mind.” Dante cleared his throat. “I‟m still waiting for an answer.” “Fair enough.” Cam regarded Milo for a moment before speaking. Although his words were directed toward Dante, he continued to look at Milo. “To answer your question, I care about your brother very much. I‟m not sure what the future holds, but I can assure you I‟m not using him for an easy lay or otherwise.” Cam‟s words and the tenderness in his expression melted Milo‟s heart. He might not have used the L word, but it was close enough. Avowals of love clogged in Milo‟s throat, better left unspoken.
112
Amanda Young
Adam reentered the den, shattering the poignant moment. “I hope you‟re all hungry, because dinner‟s ready to roll, and there‟s enough food to feed a small army.” “Thank God.” Dante brushed past Cam and Milo. “I‟m starving, and the crap is getting a little too deep in here.” Milo scowled at his brother‟s retreating back. He tightened his grip on Cam‟s hand. “Hang back a second, okay?” Cam nodded and squeezed Milo‟s fingers. To the others, he said, “We‟ll catch up with you in a second.” Once the men cleared the room, Milo leaned up and covered Cam‟s lips with his own. He kept the kiss brief, no more than a short buss, although what he wanted would have taken hours to complete. “Thank you for being such a good sport. Dante can be a jerk, but he means well. He‟s just missing a sensor between his mouth and his brain.” “It‟s not a big deal.” Cam kissed Milo, then ran the pad of his thumb across Milo‟s lower lip. “I think it‟s kind of sweet actually.” A shiver skated down Milo‟s spine. It didn‟t seem possible that he could be so turned on from such little contact. And while having a conversation about my brother. That just seemed…wrong. “That‟s not a word I would use to describe Dante.” “What? Sweet?” Cam shrugged. “Maybe not, but at least you know he cares.” Guilt blossomed inside Milo. Here he was complaining about his brother, when Cam had only recently lost his father. It hadn‟t even occurred to Milo that Cam might be missing his family. “How‟re you doing today? I‟d completely understand if you need some time to yourself.” Cam tilted his head in confusion. “Huh?” “I‟m sure you must miss your parents today. Especially your dad.”
Reckless Heart
113
“I can‟t say I haven‟t thought of both my parents today, but I‟ve gotten used to spending the holidays alone. I haven‟t spent a holiday with Father since before Mom died.” “You‟re sure?” “Yes. I‟m fine. I think it‟s sweet of you to be concerned, though.” Cam cupped Milo‟s face between big, strong hands and softly kissed him again. Milo closed his eyes and tilted his face up. Wet heat brushed across his mouth. He parted his lips and was instantly rewarded with the gentle prod of Cam‟s tongue sliding along his own. Need welled up inside him and radiated outward, encompassing him from head to toe, until even his skin felt tight and overly sensitive. If there was one thing he knew for certain, it was that life was too short to do without Cam‟s kisses on a daily basis. With every fiber of his being, Milo wished there were some way they could whittle down the distance keeping them apart. When he felt Cam tense as if to pull away, Milo slid his arms around Cam and buried his fingers in the short, crisp hair at Cam‟s nape. Cam took the hint and gave Milo what he wanted, deepening the kiss with a well-placed flick of his tongue over Milo‟s bottom lip. Milo parted his mouth and welcomed Cam inside. He answered every slick glide with a caress of his own. Boisterous voices spilled from the dining room down the hall and mixed with the loud riot of the football game still blaring from the surround-sound speakers all around them. Milo ignored the noise and concentrated on the man in his arms. His man. Cam feathered a hand through Milo‟s hair and smoothed the other over his shoulder and down his biceps. Although it felt strangely like being petted, Milo enjoyed the sensation. Cam might not ever admit it, but the man definitely had a bit of a hair fetish.
114
Amanda Young
Someone shouted Milo‟s name. Even though he barely heard the summons, it didn‟t take a genius to figure out who was calling for him. If given half a chance, his brother would ruin a wet dream. With reluctance, Milo pulled away from Cam‟s tempting lips and yelled, “We‟re coming.” Cam sighed and dropped his arms to his sides. “I wish.” Milo tried to keep a straight face and failed. “Later, okay?” “I can hardly wait.” “Me too.” A break from his right hand would be fabulous. He‟d jerked off to memories of Cam and what they‟d done together so many times he‟d begun to worry he would rub himself raw. “We‟ll leave soon. I promise.” “Not too soon, okay? I want to be alone with you, but I‟m kind of looking forward to today. We haven‟t even eaten yet, and I can already say today has been nothing like the holidays I spent as a kid.” “How‟s that?” “I wouldn‟t know where to begin. Holidays were opportunities for Mom to throw dinner parties and for Father to impress his shareholders. Dinner was at seven on the dot, after which I was expected to disappear for the rest of the evening while the adults talked shop. It was big fun, believe me.” “Is that sarcasm I detect?” “To say the least.” “Hmmm…” Pity welled up inside Milo at the thought of a young Cam spending the holidays in his room, alone and desperate for human contact. His family gatherings had been loud and crowded affairs, but there‟d been no shortage of love. A tiny bit of self-pity crowded into his heart at the thought of what he‟d lost by coming out. “Well, I can‟t do anything to change those memories, but I can help you create new, better ones to remember later.” All-new memories for both of them. “I might just take you up on that.”
Reckless Heart
“By all means. Now let‟s eat!” Cam waved his hand toward the door. “Lead the way.”
115
116
Amanda Young
Chapter Fourteen The next morning, Milo and Cam headed to check out Cam‟s inheritance from his father. Although Cam feigned nonchalance, Milo was more than aware of the tension in his lover‟s shoulders. Cam might want the world to believe he didn‟t care, but he cared more than most. It was going to break his heart if his father had left him little more than a shack in the wilderness. If Cam had been driving, Milo would have been tempted to lean over and relax the man with a little mouth-to-penis resuscitation. Unfortunately, that wasn‟t an option, since they were bumbling along in Milo‟s Jeep. “How much farther do you think it is?” It seemed like they‟d been driving forever, but it had probably only been about half an hour. The property was located outside of town near the county border. It shouldn‟t have taken so long to get there, but the back road leading to the property was pitted and overgrown with weeds. Spindly tree limbs scraped the vehicle‟s doors and made an earsplitting racket not unlike nails on a chalkboard. If it had ever been a state-maintained road, there were no visible signs of that care now. Cam glanced down at the directions on his cell phone. “Truthfully, I think we‟ve been on the property for the last few minutes. The road should end, and we should be able to see the house any second now.” Milo glanced over at Cam. “You‟re kidding me?” “No. The GPS says we‟ve already arrived.” “Shit.” Milo gazed out the window at the trees all around them. “Is there any chance the house has collapsed or been torn down or something?”
Reckless Heart
117
“I don‟t know.” Cam lowered his voice. “Anything‟s possible. From what little I can figure, this house belonged to my grandparents. They died before I was born, so it‟s been abandoned for a long, long time.” “I‟m sorry.” Milo reached across the console and squeezed Cam‟s thigh. “That was insensitive of me.” “No. You have a point. It would be just like Father to dangle a carrot in front of me and then snatch it back from beyond the grave.” Cam pulled Milo‟s hand off his thigh and wound their fingers together. “Does this mean you‟re ready to admit this inheritance means something to you?” “Maybe.” “Mm-hmm.” “I don‟t know why it matters so much. It‟s not like it changes anything.” “You never know.” Milo risked a glance at Cam. “I‟m sure there‟s some significance to why your dad left you this place.” He returned his attention to the road and gasped. “Hey! Check it out.” Just ahead, half-hidden by a huge yellowed weeping willow tree, was a large two-story farmhouse that had definitely seen better days. The white siding was graying from neglect, and one side of the covered porch had caved in. Dead vines encased the pillars supporting what remained of the porch roof. Several of the black shutters on both floors appeared to be missing, while others hung precariously from their hinges. Cam laughed. “That doesn‟t look like a shack to me.” “Um, no. I‟d say not.” It sure as hell didn‟t. Milo stopped the Jeep and turned sideways in his seat to look at Cam. “Remind me what your dad‟s lawyer said about this place, please?” “Just that Father had left me a summerhouse that used to belong to Mom‟s family.”
Amanda Young
118
“Do you think he could have screwed up the address or something?” “No. I have the deed. This is it.” Milo unsnapped his seat belt. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let‟s go check the place out.” Milo hopped out of the Jeep and jogged up to the porch. He stopped there and waited for Cam to catch up. Cam took his time, staring up at the house as if it were a ghost. “I don‟t know about this, Milo. I‟m as excited as you are, but this place might have serious structure damage.” “Worrywart.” Milo grabbed Cam‟s hand and gave it a tug. “We‟ll just have to be careful.” “Yeah, okay… Let me go first, though.” “Be my guest.” Milo slowly followed Cam up the rickety stairs and across the porch. He stood back and watched as Cam dug the house key out of his pocket, unlocked the door, and swung it open. The hinges made a god-awful screech loud enough to wake the dead. Upon entering, both men glanced around. The entrance hall led all the way to the back of the house and what appeared to be the kitchen. An open doorway directly on the left opened into a large room that was presumably the living room, although it was bare. Slightly beyond the entrance to the living room, narrow stairs sat wedged against the wall. Cam leaned into the doorway on the left. “Nothing‟s in here.” Excited to explore the older home, Milo continued down the hall and popped his head into a room farther down the hall on the right. It appeared to be a den or study or maybe even a bedroom. It was kind of hard to tell the purpose of an empty room. “This one‟s empty too.”
Reckless Heart
119
Milo continued into the kitchen with Cam trailing close behind him. Yellow chipped linoleum crinkled beneath his feet as he entered. It appeared to be the largest and brightest of the downstairs rooms. Situated at the back of the house, it contained a freestanding sink beneath the wide window against the back wall of the house and what looked like a plain cast-iron version of the wood cookstove he recalled from his grandma‟s house when he was a child. The only difference was this one was twice the size and appeared utilitarian, while Grandma‟s had been ornate and more of a display piece rather than something they‟d actually used. “I can‟t believe I‟ve never seen this place.” Cam glanced around. “I can‟t believe anyone would just let it go like this.” “People are strange. Who knows why they do anything.” “Isn‟t that the truth.” Cam squeezed Milo‟s shoulder. “Want to check out the upstairs?” “Sure. I‟ve always liked these old farmhouses. I think they‟re pretty cool.” “Me too.” Cam smiled and took Milo‟s hand. They held hands all the way back to the staircase. Cam stopped on the bottom step and looked back at Milo. “Just follow me and watch your step.” “It‟ll be fine.” Milo hopped up and down on the bottom step. “See. Everything‟s solid.” “Just be careful.” Cam started up the stairs, but not before he rolled his eyes skyward. “Hey!” Milo tagged along one step behind Cam. “I saw that.” “Saw what?” Milo‟s gaze lowered to Cam‟s tight, amazing ass. “Nothing.” Once upstairs, they discovered six small bedrooms and more of the same neglect. The best thing Milo could say was that the hardwood flooring was in decent condition, if in need of a good buff and polish.
120
Amanda Young
Something struck Milo as being off about the house, but he couldn‟t put his finger on what it was. On the way back down to the first floor, Milo figured out what was missing. “That‟s weird.” “What?” Cam asked without turning. “There aren‟t any bathrooms.” “No running water either.” Cam stepped off the bottom step and turned to face Milo. “Didn‟t you notice the hand pump in the kitchen sink?” “No, not really.” He‟d been much more interested in watching the subtle nuances of Cam‟s expression as the other man looked around. Milo moved closer, pressing right up against Cam. “This old place is pretty neat, huh?” “Yeah.” Cam bent and covered Milo‟s mouth with his own. His breath was warm and moist, his tongue slick and persuasive. He licked at Milo‟s lips, demanding entrance, and then drove his tongue inside. Milo‟s mind shut down to all but the sensations coursing through his body. He wrapped his arms around Cam‟s waist and returned the kiss with panache, savoring the minty taste of Cam‟s mouth. Right then and there, he swore he‟d buy Cam a lifetime supply of the little mints he favored, as long as Milo was allowed to taste them on Cam‟s tongue. With a final lingering peck, Milo pulled away and glanced at the mess around them. “What are you going to do with the place? Sell it?” “I‟m not sure.” Cam took a deep breath and exhaled. “Actually I might keep it.” “What do you mean?” Milo‟s pulse sped at the thought of Cam moving closer. “Could you see yourself remodeling and moving here?” “No. Not really.” Milo‟s expectations plummeted. He pulled away from Cam and walked over to the wall, then picked at a large section of wallpaper that was pulling away from the wall. “So, what are you thinking, then?”
Reckless Heart
121
The floor squeaked beneath Cam‟s feet as he approached Milo from behind. Warm arms enveloped him. “How would you feel about having me around a little bit more?” Milo twisted his neck and stared up at Cam. “Are you kidding me?” “No, not at all.” Cam kissed Milo‟s cheek. “I just have a glimmer of an idea really. It‟ll take some time and a lot of money, but I think it might be worthwhile to open another refuge house here. I mean, the shelter started out as her baby, and this house belonged to her side of the family. I can‟t think of a better way to make the best of my inheritance and honor her memory than starting up another house here, in our hometown.” “I think that‟s a great idea. There aren‟t enough programs around here for people in need.” Milo turned and faced his lover. “Does that mean you might be spending more time in town?” “Definitely. It might take me a while to make sure everything‟s secure in New York, but I‟d like to eventually move here and oversee things. Of course, it doesn‟t hurt that the man I love lives here.” Milo‟s breath hitched. He met Cam‟s eyes. “Say that again. Please?” “I love you, Milo. I‟m sorry I couldn‟t say it before, but I needed to be sure of my feelings. You should know, you‟re the first person I‟ve ever said those words to.” “God, Cam—” “Wait. Let me finish.” Milo nodded, although he was itching to reach out to Cam. Nothing could top what Cam had just said. There was no way. Nothing was better than hearing that Cam wanted to be with him. Him. And not in some long-distance, every-now-andthen sort of way, but all the time. Like a real couple. Milo finally realized why some people broke out in song and dance. The way he felt right then, it wasn‟t outside the realm of possibility.
Amanda Young
122
“Spending the day with you and your family yesterday made me realize something important. I don‟t want to go home. I want to stay here, with you. I don‟t know what the future will hold, whether this project will even work or not, but I can‟t stand the thought of spending another minute alone. I need you by my side.” Milo swallowed, overwhelmed by Cam‟s confession. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined such a declaration. Cam tugged on the ends of Milo‟s hair. “Tell me what you‟re thinking.” “You have no idea how much I‟ve wanted to hear you say that.” “Why do I hear a „but‟ on the end of that sentence?” “Are you sure? I‟d give anything to spend more time with you, to really be with you, but I don‟t want you to move here, relocate just for me, and then end up regretting it later.” “Haven‟t you been listening? I admit, my desire to be closer to you is part of the reason I‟d like to relocate—I‟d be lying if I said otherwise—but it‟s not the only motive. Even if we ended things tomorrow, I would still want to come here and make the best use of this property. I love you; I want to be with you. However, I‟m not naive enough to drop who knows how much money on a project I don‟t care about just so I can justify being near my lover.” “God, Cam.” Now that he had what he wanted, there were so many things Milo wanted to say and do that he wasn‟t sure where to start. “I don‟t know what to say.” Cam smiled, his brilliant green eyes twinkling. “You could start by saying it back.” Milo laughed and threw his arms around Cam, so happy he could burst. “I love you too. You know I do.” “Maybe,” Cam whispered, softly brushing his lips against Milo‟s. “But I‟ll never tire of hearing it.”
Reckless Heart
123
Epilogue Seven years later…
Milo lounged on the sofa beside his husband, feeling much like a fat, lazy cat as the sun streamed in through the large bay windows and shone down on them. His stomach was overfull, the man he loved was beside him, and they were surrounded by good friends and family. Life didn‟t get much better. Seth and Samantha, the four-year-old twins Beau and Adam had adopted two years earlier, ran through the sunroom, shrieking as if hell were nipping at their heels. Seconds later, Johnny came barreling through the room after them. Nearly a teenager, Johnny was all arms and legs. Nevertheless, Milo could see the burgeoning man hidden beneath the childlike body. He looked very much like Adam, even if he was already as tall as his father. Although not biologically related, the twins favored Adam as well, with curly black hair and big brown eyes. Only their bronzed, sun-kissed complexions set them apart. Adam waltzed through the sliding-glass doors and dropped onto the wicker chair just inside the door. “God, I‟m exhausted.” Milo smiled. Over the years, he and Adam had grown to be good friends. “It‟ll all be over soon enough. Besides, it isn‟t every day you throw a fortieth birthday party for your husband.” “Thank God for that.” Adam crossed his right leg over the left and scratched his ankle. “The kids are so hyped up on sugar, they‟re running me ragged.” “And just think, you haven‟t even brought out the cake yet.”
124
Amanda Young
Adam groaned. “Don‟t remind me. I‟m still stuffed from the steaks we grilled earlier.” Cam stirred from his position beside Milo and wrapped an arm around Milo‟s shoulders. “Where‟s your other half? Shouldn‟t he be helping you chase them around?” “Normally, I‟d say yes. But he‟s outside by the pool, talking to Cody and Dante, and I don‟t want to pull him away from them. Beau‟s really missed them since they moved to Charlotte. I think he regrets opening the new club and offering to let the two of them take charge of it.” “Charlotte isn‟t that far away.” Cam stroked his fingers over Milo‟s shoulder. “You could always pack the kids in the SUV and drive down to visit.” Adam nodded. “We go down when we can, but it just isn‟t the same.” “Yeah, I get that.” In truth, Milo missed Dante at times as well, but he couldn‟t complain about his life. He loved his position as a guidance counselor at the local high school and found a lot of solace volunteering at the Wilma Brooks Memorial Shelter. After a couple of rocky years, Cam‟s shelter had finally gained footing and found the sponsorship it needed to take off, due in part to Beau‟s unflagging support and the tireless efforts of the local GLBT community to help drum up sponsors. More often than not, it ran at full capacity, housing as many as twenty-four displaced individuals. “I should have known I would find you hiding out in here.” Dante entered the room and perched on the chair opposite Adam on the other side of the couch. Milo snorted. “I‟m hardly hiding. I‟m just trying to recover from overeating without giving myself a heatstroke. It has to be a hundred degrees outside today.” Dante swiped a hand over his bald head. “Ninety-eight.” “Smart-ass.” Milo rolled his eyes. Some things never changed. Looking at his older brother, dressed in orange swim trunks and flip-flops, Milo found it hard to
Reckless Heart
125
believe he‟d be turning forty soon too. Other than a few extra lines around his eyes and a little softening around his still-flat midsection, Dante didn‟t look much different than when Milo had come to move in with him all those years ago. Dante reclined back against the chair. “Better than being a dumbass, I guess.” Milo laughed. “Yeah, yeah.” “Hey now.” Cam pulled Milo tighter against his side. “That‟s my man you‟re calling a dumbass.” “Chill, charity boy. He was my baby brother long before he was your anything.” “Now, now children,” Adam corrected. “Didn‟t anyone ever teach you to behave?” “Bite me.” Dante stuck his tongue out at Adam. Dressed in neon blue trunks and dripping with water, Cody walked inside. “Dante Santiago, you better put that back in your mouth unless you‟re prepared to use it.” Milo groaned. “Spare us the details of your sex life, please. I spent enough time listening to it while I lived with you.” Cody leered at Milo. “It‟s not my fault you lay awake at night eavesdropping on us.” “Yeah, right. It was kind of hard not to hear when there‟s a screaming banshee on the other side of the wall.” “Far be it from me to contradict you if that‟s what you need to tell yourself in order to sleep at night.” With a laugh, Cody flounced over to Dante and plopped down on his lap. “What are you doing in here? Come back out and play with me and the kids. Seth and Sam are turning into regular little fish.” “It‟s the swimming lessons that they took back in the spring,” Adam added. “They‟re a little obsessed with water at the moment.”
126
Amanda Young
“I just came in to see what everyone else is doing.” Dante wrapped his arms around Cody‟s waist and bit him on the shoulder. “Let me get something to drink, and I‟ll be right back out.” “Stop that, you beast.” Laughing, Cody wiggled around and jumped off Dante‟s lap. “I‟m going back out. You guys should all come. Johnny wants to show everyone some fancy jump off the diving board that he‟s been practicing.” With a groan, Adam rose to his feet. “I‟ll come with you.” Adam followed Cody outside and slid the door shut behind them. Dante got up. “You guys want something from the kitchen?” Milo glanced at Cam, who shook his head, then said, “Nah, we‟re good.” After Dante exited, Cam yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “Want to go out and join the rest of the gang? If I sit here too much longer, I‟m going to fall asleep.” In response, Milo yawned as well. The damn things were contagious. “You do realize that means you‟re going to have to strip down to your shorts, right?” “And that‟s a problem because…” “It isn‟t for me. I thought you said you wanted to avoid being teased today.” “You mean about the tattoo?” Cam removed his blue T-shirt over his head and laid it over the back of the sofa, showing off his washboard abs and furry chest. A patch of hair was missing above his left pec, where Milo‟s name was inked over his heart in fancy black cursive. “Fuck ‟em if they can‟t take a romantic gesture when they see one.” “All right, but you‟ve been warned. You know Dante will have a field day with this, right?” “Let him. As long as you like it, that‟s all I care about.” “I do. I think it‟s sweet.” He still couldn‟t believe Cam had come home to the new house they‟d bought together earlier in the year and surprised Milo with the
Reckless Heart
127
tattoo for no other reason than because he loved him. “Have I mentioned how much I love you today?” “I love you too.” Cam leaned forward and brushed his lips over Milo‟s. All too soon, he pulled away and stood. He held his hand out to Milo. “Come on, lazybones. Let‟s join the others.” Milo grabbed onto it and lifted himself up off the couch. He started to let go and thought twice, twining his fingers with Cam‟s instead. Cam gave his fingers a squeeze and smiled down at him, the love they shared shining through his deep green eyes. “You ready to go for a swim?” “I think I might lounge on the side and soak up some sun. How about you? Did you remember your sunscreen?” Milo brushed the fingers of his free hand over the freckles on Cam‟s broad shoulders. “Yes, Mom. I have my sunscreen.” “Very funny.” Cam slid open the door and stepped through it. “Nag, nag.” Milo closed the door behind them. “If I don‟t nag you, I don‟t know who will.” “I don‟t know.” A wide grin spread across Cam‟s face, emphasizing the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. “Whatever would I do without you?” Warmth that had nothing to do with the sun and everything to do with the man holding his hand blossomed inside Milo. “God willing, you‟ll never have to find out.”
Loose Id Titles by Amanda Young Husbands & Wives: GWM Wanted Pyromancer The CANDY MEN Series Man Candy Candy Man Eye Candy The CHICKEN RANCH Series Hunger The DAYWALKER Series Secrets and Lies The Hard Truth The RECKLESS Series Reckless Seduction Reckless Behavior Reckless Passion Reckless Hearts
Amanda Young Amanda Young is a multi-published, erotic romance author. Since she tends to write whatever strikes her whimsy, all of her novels fall into various subgenres. You never know what merry adventure her evil muse will devise next. Basically, she writes stories about people who love indiscriminately and wholeheartedly. Her characters are never perfect; they‟re flawed and oftentimes troubled. Which makes it that much more satisfying when they receive the happy ending we all deserve. No matter what genre her books fall into, she can guarantee they‟ll end with a happily ever after. In her opinion, it‟s just not a romance without one.