Not in the NFL

Not in the NFL By Terry O’Reilly

Published by JMS Books LLC This book is available in print. Visit jms-books.com for more information.

Copyright 2011 Terry O’Reilly ISBN 978-1-61152-165-8

Cover Photo Credit: Les3photo8 Used under a Standard Royalty-Free License. Cover Design: J.M. Snyder All Rights Reserved WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Published in the United States of America. ****

Not in the NFL By Terry O’Reilly Prologue “Well, that does it, Roger. The Mustangs are in the playoffs, taking the wildcard spot in their division with this win over the Cyclones.” “Yes, Ed. The Mustangs’ quarterback, Adam Davis, pulled off a miracle win passing for two touchdowns and an incredible two-point conversion in the last three minutes of play to beat the defending Super Bowl champions 29–28.” “The Cyclones are leading their division, so, despite the loss, these two teams will likely meet again in the playoffs. There’s only one week left of regular season play.” “If that works out, it should really be a good game with what happened here today.” “Ed, let’s join the post game interview with Adam.” The scene shifted from the game announcers to the post game interview set where Adam Davis was about to begin answering questions about the game from the press. “Adam,” a reporter called out from the audience, “that was a pretty gutsy call on the two-point conversion. Why not go for a sure PAT and tie the game and let it go into overtime?” “Well,” handsome, red haired, soft-spoken, Adam Davis replied. “I don’t much like going into overtime. The team that wins the coin toss usually wins the game, especially when they have a field goal kicker like the Cyclones have. He hits fifty yard plus field goals all the time. So I figured we had a fifty-fifty chance at winning the toss. We’ve made seventy percent of our two point tries. That gave us better odds. So I took the chance.” Another reporter called out, “Wanna comment on Brendan Fletcher? He was on you like a magnet on steel the whole game: three sacks and intercepted you twice.” Adam shook his head, laughing. “Brendan’s a great linebacker. He really had my number today. Lucky for me he was

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expecting a pass on the conversion when I decided to run the ball in myself…he wasn’t anywhere near me.” “With both the Mustangs and the Cyclones in the playoffs, you’ll probably be facing each other again. Any comment?” “Bring it on, Brendan. Bring it on,” Adam said, smiling and winking into the camera.

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Chapter 1 The party was in full swing. Adam usually gave a party after a game, win or lose. While the whole team was invited, it was generally understood Adam gave these parties to thank his offensive line and receivers. He knew without their efforts his reputation as a superstar QB would be erased. He lived or died on their play. He knew that a quarterback not in the good graces of his offensive line could easily be sabotaged with just a missed block here or there. So, despite the facts that his line had let him be sacked, hurried and hit several times and that his receivers had dropped passes and missed routes, a win this big was reason enough to celebrate even in light of such errors. The penthouse suite of the Mustangs’ hotel was rocking: loud music, full service bar and rowdy, happy football players were making for an intense celebration. The team’s cheerleading squad had not attended this away game, so there were fewer than the usual number of female companions for the men. Some of them had found ‘dates’ among the team’s groupies that seemed to turn up at every game no matter which city they played in. Adam was glad his girlfriend, Brenda, had not come on this trip. He was getting tired of her anyway and her constant pressing him for a commitment of some sort. Without her here he was feeling a sense of freedom. Adam was leaning against the bar talking with Dean, his go-to receiver, discussing some of his missed passes when there was a commotion in the large living room near the door. “Hey, man!” he heard one guy call out. “What the fuck. You got some nerve crashin’ our party,” another could be heard, laughing as he said it. Adam turned to see Brendan Fletcher making his way into the crowd. There was a general camaraderie in the NFL. Most of the players were friends with each other, had even played together in college, and the protests at the presence of a player from the opposing team at the celebration were mainly good natured and carried no real animosity.

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The teasing and taunting continued as Brendan made his way through the men and their dates. He came up to the bar and held out his hand to Adam. “Heard what you said in that post game show,” he said smiling, his perfect white teeth gleaming in the bar light. “Can’t wait to bring it on.” He squeezed the hand Adam had placed in his. Adam was taken aback, but before he could say anything Brendan added, “Just wanted to congratulate you on a great game. You really showed what you were made of today,” he said. His voice carried genuine warmth. “Thanks, Brendan,” Adam responded, feeling the strength in his grip. “You played a good game yourself. Almost singlehandedly dismantled my game plan.” Brendan smiled. “Yeah, but you got me in those last two minutes. And that run for the two-pointer. Shit, totally caught me by surprise. I was sure you were looking to pass to Dean.” He turned and smiled in the receiver’s direction. Adam realized they were still holding hands. He selfconsciously let go of Brendan, who turned and took up the conversation with Dean. Feeling a bit uneasy for reasons he couldn’t fully put into words, Adam left the two to their discussion and made his way through the revelers, accepting their congratulations and thanks while at the same time giving his own back to the men. Adam made his way to the john, went in and took a piss. Standing in front of the mirror, he splashed a little cool water on his face. The door opened behind him and Brendan walked in, locked the door and proceeded to the toilet where he unzipped his pants, took out his dick and began to urinate. “Thanks for the privacy,” Adam said. “Hey, you're the one who didn't lock the door,” Brendan chuckled. Adam glanced down at Brendan's cock as it emitted its golden stream. He felt something akin to a swoop in the pit of his stomach at the sight of the man's impressive equipment. He raised his eyes and saw Brendan had caught him looking. He turned back to the mirror, blushed, and pretended to check his

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face by rubbing his chin. Brendan walked up behind him. Adam turned to face him. Brendan was taller than Adam's six foot three by an inch or two and probably outweighed him by twenty pounds. Broad shouldered and deep-chested, Brendan was a beautiful specimen of manhood. Right now his handsome face, with its deep brown eyes and ready smile was inches from Adam's. Adam could smell the alcohol on his breath. He felt the swoop again. Hang on, why am I thinking this? I’m straight! “No harm in checking out what the competition’s got,” Brendan said in a low husky voice as he reached out and fondled Adam's hardening cock through his khakis. Putting his other hand behind Adam's head, Brendan pulled the quarterback toward him. Before Adam fully realized what was happening, Brendan was kissing him, Adam was opening his mouth, and allowing Brendan's tongue to caress his. At the same time as the men embraced, Brendan's hands slid down and pressed the flesh of Adam's firm, muscular ass. “Whoa!” Adam cried out, breaking the connection, pushing Brendan back. “What the fuck are you doin'?” “What I think you want me to do.” Brendan smiled, putting his hand back on Adam's shoulder. “What the fuck gives you that idea?” Adam said, pushing the hand off of him. Brendan merely smiled, turned to the mirror and brushed his thick, dark brown hair into place with his hand. “You'll figure that out one of these days.” Adam was about to ask him what the hell he meant by that when there was a knock on the door. “Hey, you gonna be in there all night? I gotta go,” a deep voice said that Adam recognized as coming from Ashanti Peters, one of the offensive tackles. Adam felt a wave of panic sweep over him. This guy was one of the biggest homophobes on the team: always preaching about how faggots would burn in hell, and making disparaging remarks whenever he saw anyone he thought might be a homosexual.

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“Keep your pants zipped!” Brendan called out. “It's gonna take as long as it's gonna take, man. Go use the can in the master bedroom.” “Randy's in there with a couple a groupies, dude!” “Then politely say 'excuse me' as you walk by,” Brendan told him. “Fuck!” the lineman said. Adam could hear him retreating down the hall, cursing loudly. Adam let out a long breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He was trembling all over, half from the intense sexual arousal that still permeated his body and half from the fear of near exposure. Brendan, still smiling, kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked to the door. “Think about it, babe,” he said and left the room. Adam raised his hand to the place where Brendan's kiss still lingered. Think about it? What does that mean? Adam took a steadying breath. After waiting long enough for his hard cock to relax and to make sure no one would see him come out so soon after Brendan, he left the bathroom. **** Adam lay on his back on the king-sized bed with its satin sheets in the master bedroom of his suite. As an all star QB he was entitled to private quarters. He had left the party shortly after the incident in the john with Brendan. He told everyone to have a good time and thanked them again for their great play. He was in no mood to party anymore after what had happened, and didn’t want to run into Brendan again. Returning to his own room he had showered and gone to bed, all the while trying not to think about what had transpired in the penthouse bathroom. Was the thing he was trying to avoid thinking about the very thing Brendan had wanted him to think about? And why had he called him ‘babe’? Wasn’t that some sort of term of endearment among gay men?

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“Fuck!” he said aloud as he tossed and turned. He had thought about jacking off. That usually relieved the tension after a game if he didn’t have Brenda with him to get him off. But, as soon as he had started, the only images that came to mind were those of Brendan and what they had done. Adam couldn’t let himself think of stuff like that. Gay guys didn’t survive—not in the NFL. He wasn’t gay and wasn’t gonna do anything that might give guys like Ashanti any reason to accuse him. There was that player on one of the other teams. He remembered reading about him. Rumors started floating around that he was gay. Stuff began to appear on blogs. He had supposedly been outed by an alleged ex-lover. He had hired a lawyer to fight the rumors. They were found to be unfounded. Nonetheless, the damage was done and life was hell for the guy. The talk around Adam’s team locker room was vicious. The things the men said they would do to a ‘faggot’ if they found out one of them was playing on their team were frightening. That wasn’t going to happen to him. And what about Brendan? Was he gay? Or had he just had too much to drink? Adam had heard someone somewhere say the only difference between a straight and a gay man was a couple of drinks. But the handshake that lingered too long before Brendan had had anything to drink? The kiss as he left the bathroom? Calling him ‘babe’? These questions kept bringing him back to the very thought he was trying to avoid: his intense response to the man as Brendan held him in his arms. And so the cycle continued into the early hours until finally he fell asleep. **** Knocking on the door awakened Adam, who got out of bed and sleepily staggered past of the bedroom, across the living room and down the hall to the door. “Yeah?” he said without opening the door. “Room service,” came the reply.

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“I didn’t order no fuckin’ room…” he started to say as he opened the door. Brendan was outside, smiling, leaning with one hand on each of the door jambs. “Good mornin', babe,” he crooned as he walked into the entry hall, took Adam in his arms and kicked the door closed with his foot. Adam struggled against the embrace for a few seconds and then his mind ceased to function and his body took over. He returned the embrace and eagerly sought Brendan’s mouth with his own. He placed one hand on each side of the man’s head, pulled him into a deep kiss, his tongue seeking and finding that of his partner. He heard himself moaning and calling Brendan’s name as their mouths and tongues began to make love. Brendan broke away. He took Adam by the hand and led him down the hallway back into the bedroom. He turned Adam’s back to the bed, pulled him into a kiss, then gently pushed Adam down on the satin sheets. Pinning him to the bed by his wrists he smiled as he lowered his mouth to kiss him again. Then he stood up. Brendan reached for the waistband of Adam’s pajamas and slid them off, tossing them on the floor. Adam’s cock lay in its nest of ginger hair, hard against the smooth musculature of his abdomen, throbbing slightly in tune with his pounding heart. Slowly Brendan knelt down on the floor and pulled Adam forward so his legs were around his waist. The man lowered his mouth and slid his lips over the rigid crown of Adam’s dick. Adam gasped and arched his back, straining to get as far inside Brendan’s mouth as he could. He didn’t have to as Brendan was steadily slipping more and more of Adam’s long, fat cock into his mouth until his face was buried in the thick tangle of red pubic hair. Adam grabbed the sides of Brendan’s head and thrust upward in unison to the man’s bobbing head. . Brenda, Adam’s girlfriend—he thought fleetingly of the irony of the similarity of her name with that of the man now sucking him—had often grudgingly given him head, but it was never like this, never as perfectly timed, with just the right amount of pressure. Somewhere he had heard only a man knew

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how to suck off another man because they knew just how they wanted it to feel. Whoever said it must have been right as Brendan was giving Adam the perfect blow job. Adam felt his balls tighten, he let out a strangled moan, but just before he could shoot his load, Brendan released him and stood up. Adam lay there trembling, his cock twitching, threatening to erupt. He looked up into the face of the man who was leading him down a path he was afraid to follow, yet knew he was powerless not to. His teeth chattered as if he were chilled. Brendan slowly pulled the tight blue muscle tee with his team’s logo over his head, revealing his torso shrouded in black hair. Adam swallowed hard. Brendan unbuckled his belt and lowered the zipper of his jeans. Placing his hands on his hips he pushed the garment to the floor and stepped out of it. He wore no underwear. His magnificent uncut cock stood out from his thick bush of tangled pubes rigid and proud. Brendan reached down and stroked it. The glistening head slid in and out from beneath its wrinkled hood. Adam closed his eyes and tried to think, tried to instill some rationality into what was going on. But the shock of what happened next pushed all reason from his mind. He felt Brendan raise his legs and felt the soft, moist warmth of his tongue on his asshole. Over and over again Brendan laved and probed the puckered entrance to Adam’s ass. Adam could scarcely breathe. He felt a desire beginning to awaken: a desire that scared the shit out of him, while at the same time was something he knew he needed, wanted more than anything else. More than that, the desire seemed familiar, something he recognized. Adam felt Brendan’s tongue being replaced with a finger, gently probing and pushing until it was passing the clinched ring of muscle and entering his body. Adam winced. Brendan withdrew his hand slightly, then probed again. With each thrust, Adam relaxed more. Then he felt the invading digit contact his prostate and sparks flashed before his still closed eyes. A wave of pleasure swept through his body, the likes of which he had never experienced before. He felt an intense tingling in the tip of his cock. Once again he felt he was

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going to cum. The finger withdrew before making contact again. “Like that?” a voice from somewhere asked. Vaguely aware the voice belonged to Brendan, Adam nodded and half moaned a yes. Now there were two fingers entering and stretching his hole. Adam realized what was going to happen. With a rush of passion and through a tightening throat, Adam said, “Fuck me!” “Your wish is my command, my liege,” Brendan replied. Adam opened his eyes and saw Brendan standing at the end of the bed, tearing open a condom wrapper, then slowly rolling the rubber down his swollen cock. Brendan leaned forward, bracing himself against the bed, and put Adam’s legs on his shoulders. Brendan placed the tip of his dick against Adam’s hole and looked tenderly into Adam’s eyes. “This is gonna hurt. But I’ll try to be as gentle as I can.” Adam nodded. Brendan leaned down and kissed Adam as he firmly pressed his dick head against Adam’s sphincter. Adam felt himself relax and the tip of Brendan’s cock slipped in. Brendan pushed, the head passed the ring of muscle and a wave of pain washed over Adam’s body. Brendan pulled back, then pushed in again. This time the pain was less and Brendan slid further into Adam. Finally Adam could feel Brendan’s pubic hair against his balls. He was fully impaled on the man’s cock. He felt a tingle as his prostate was probed. Adam let himself give in to his passion. **** Adam was trying to pack. The team plane would be leaving for home in just an hour. He could barely concentrate on what he was doing. His ass was sore. His mind was swirling. Thoughts of Brendan, of what had transpired in this room, on this bed, kept leaping to the fore. At the same time he tried to quell his rising panic. I’m not gay. I can’t be gay. I have sex with Brenda. I like it…but I just had sex with Brendan! It was better than any sex

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I’ve had with a woman…It’s just I’m away from Brenda and I was horny. As soon as I get home we’ll make out and…God, when I came when he was inside me. It was like a nuclear explosion or something. I never felt like that with any wo… Adam turned from the suitcase on the bed, ran his fingers through his hair and walked to the balcony window. He stared, unseeing, at the hotel pool below. There aren’t any gay guys in the NFL. Not ones that anyone knows about anyway. Only a few’ve come out after they retired. And then there’s that one guy who gave an interview to a New York Times reporter. He’s still in the league. He’s in the closet and used a pseudonym: Steve Thompson or something. He and the retired guys that have come out talk about the depression, paranoia and sleepless nights, worrying about discovery. I don’t want to go through that. I won’t go through that! God! What if that guy in the interview is Brendan? The guy said he still goes to gay bars and has sex with guys even though he’s scared shitless. No…Brendan didn’t seem scared at all. “FUCK!” Adam returned to the bed and his packing. Finally finishing, he picked up his bag and walked to the door. He put his hand on the knob, hesitated and leaned his head against the wood, letting the memory of his last moment with Brendan come to the forefront of his mind. “You take care, babe. This morning was special. We’ll have to do it again sometime.” Then Brendan had taken him in his arms and kissed him, gently, tenderly, his tongue softly caressing his lips. “See ya in the playoffs, if we both make it that far.” Brendan kissed him again and was gone. There was a bang on the door. Adam jumped. “Shit!” He opened the door. Ashanti stood there, hands on hips. “Well, Mr. Big Shot Quarterback. The fuckin’ bus is waitin’ for ya. Get that ass a yours in gear!” Adam forced a laugh. “I’m comin’, you old queer,” he said and immediately regretted it.

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“Me…queer. Ha! If anyone’s queer it’s that fuckin’ linebacker that crashed the party last night. Walkin’ around in that tight tee with his nips pokin’ out…shit…now that’s queer. Ain’t natural for a man to show off his body like that to a room full a guys unless he’s a fuckin’ fa…” “All right, Ashanti. You made your point. Let’s get to the bus.” A trickle of sweat ran down Adam’s back.

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Chapter 2 The regular season was over. Since the Mustangs were a wildcard qualifier they played their first playoff game the week after the last game of the season. Brendan’s team, the Cyclones, had won their division. They had a bye week. If the Mustangs won their first playoff game they would play the Cyclones the following week in the Divisional Playoff game. The Mustangs hadn’t done well that week after they had beaten the Cyclones. Everyone in the media and most of the players wrote it off to the let down that often came after a huge game like that. They had beaten the defending Super Bowl champs and qualified for the playoffs in doing so. “Natural to be let down,” the pundits said. Adam thought differently. It was his fault. He had been distracted. What had happened with Brendan the night of the game had him reeling. The first thing he had done when he got home was to go to Brenda’s apartment and try to make love to her. It didn’t go well. Her kisses were too soft. While her tits turned him on, they weren’t the firm muscular pecs he’d felt when he’d held Brendan in his arms, and when he finally got it up hard enough to penetrate her, it was only after imagining Brendan was the stud fucking his girlfriend. To top it all off, when Adam did cum, he called out, “Bren, Bren!” To which Brenda responded, “You never called me that before.” By the end of the week Adam had come to the conclusion he could actually be gay. He admitted to himself he had regularly checked out the other players in the locker room, confessed that his sexual fantasies always involved a stud with a horse cock fucking a woman, never just a woman by herself or never him fucking a woman. He realized his encounters with women always focused on his masculinity, not their femininity. Once the struggle to determine his sexual identity was apparently decided, Adam took up the worry of whether or not it was apparent to his teammates. All of this, he concluded, led to his poor preparation for the final game

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of the regular season and the team’s ultimate loss. The next week was better. It had to be. It was the first playoff game. You lose, you go home, you’re done. He was able to concentrate more, studying film of the opponent’s defense and working on plays that would be effective against them. He had to struggle not to let his mind wander to Brendan. If they won this playoff game they would play his team the next weekend. He hadn’t heard directly from the man since the morning they’d spent together. But, he’d watched highlights from the Cyclones’ last game of the season and Brendan had been spectacular. Adam was anxious to see Brendan again, to let him know where he was at ‘thinking about it,’ as Brendan had encouraged him to do that night at the party. But if Adam didn’t spend time preparing for the upcoming game, the game against Brendan’s team would never take place. So, he forced himself to study those tapes. **** Saturday of the wildcard playoff game arrived. There was the usual round of pre-game interviews by the pretty—but basically ignorant—woman sportscaster who asked Adam innocuous questions fed to her by the writers, the answers to which she neither understood nor really cared about. Adam was able to focus, and by kick-off time he had little trouble keeping Brendan out of his thoughts. He played well and the Mustangs won 21 to 13. It was the post game interview that brought the linebacker back into sharp relief. “Congratulations on a fine game, Adam,” said the same female reporter, this time over the roar of the crowd celebrating the Mustang victory. “Thanks, Andrea,” Adam replied politely, covering his ear with his hand and leaning toward her to hear her better. “That means next week you take on the Cyclones and Brendan Fletcher.” At the mention of Brendan’s name, Adam shifted

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uncomfortably, felt his heart start to race in his chest and a tingle begin in his groin area. He nodded. “The last time you guys met, a couple of weeks ago, you were pretty intense with each other.” Rationally Adam knew she couldn’t possibly be referring to the things that had gone on between them in the hotel room; nevertheless his paranoia caused him to think otherwise. “What do you mean by that?” he asked. Adam knew he sounded defensive. He silently cursed his stupidity. Andrea seemed to be taken aback by the force of his response. “Well, Adam, he seemed to get into your face several times, sacked you three times and intercepted two of your passes. I was just asking if you’d be ready for him, is all.” Adam took a deep breath. “Ah, yeah…I’m sure we’ll be able to handle their defense as a whole, and I think I’ve got a plan for Brendan.” Again he winced. Ever since his encounter with the linebacker, it seemed what was going on inside his head was vividly transparent to everyone in everything he said and did. “By the way, Adam, congratulations on being named to the Pro Bowl. I understand Brendan Fletcher has been named as well. That means you’ll be playing on the same team. Is that going to be a problem?” Jeez, Bitch…give it a rest, he thought. Just after Christmas when the rosters for the teams had been announced, Adam realized there was a chance of their both being on the team. That is if both of their teams suffered a loss in the playoffs. He had briefly fantasized about the two men being roommates in Hawaii. If either team went on to the Super Bowl, it would be a mute point because a player couldn’t play in both; the Pro Bowl was a week before the big game and no team would risk losing a player to injury. “Andrea,” Adam began, a little more forcefully than he intended, “first of all we have the playoffs to get through. There’s a good chance one of us will be in the Super Bowl. Besides, in case you forgot,” you ditz, he added to himself, “I’m offense and he’s defense. So even if we both go, we’ll hardly ever see each other.” “Uh, well…thanks Adam. Good luck,” she stammered.

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Adam mumbled his thanks and headed for the locker room, feeling like he had made a complete fool of himself. There were more reporters in there. Many of the players were giving interviews shirtless, some even naked or clad in towels as they headed for the showers. Adam had been part of this ritual for several years. The presence now of female news media made him uncomfortable, but some of the guys seemed to relish showing off their bodies. In his present state of mind and the recent admission to himself of his sexual preferences, he was even more uncomfortable with these perceptions. Adam went to the cubical that held his personal belongings. There taped to the top shelf was a note. He pulled it off and read it. Great game, babe. Makes me look forward to next week even more. See you tonight. B. The now familiar panic rising in his throat, Adam crumpled the note and looked around. No one was watching. Had anyone else seen the note before him? What the fuck was that asshole thinking, leaving a revealing message like that out in the open? Adam closed his eyes and tried to think. “Everything okay?” came a voice behind him. Adam was startled and turned around. It was Dean, naked with a towel over his shoulder. “Uh…yeah…just lettin’ the dust settle…you know lettin’ the win sink in. You played great today, by the way. I really felt I could count on you.” All the while they talked, Adam tried to keep his eyes from straying down to Dean’s crotch. “Thanks, man,” Dean said and walked toward the shower room. Adam let his eyes drop to watch the man’s cute, tight ass undulate away. He felt a tingle in his groin. He had to find a way to stop this. Despite his earlier feelings of anxiety in sharing his conclusions about his sexuality with the linebacker, he decided it

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was too big a risk. Brendan’s note on his locker made the man seem like a loose cannon. He couldn’t take that chance. If Brendan was really here and was coming to the party, Adam would put an end to this once and for all. **** The party was over. Brendan hadn’t shown up. Adam was both relieved and concerned. He was sure the note had meant Brendan would come to the party. Wasn’t that what it said? See you tonight. When he didn’t arrive Adam worried something had happened to him. Then he wondered where this concern for Brendan’s well-being was coming from. Confused as ever, Adam made his way to the parking lot to head for home. He had made some excuse to Brenda for not being able to meet up after the game. The last couple of times they’d been together over the past two weeks had been a nightmare for Adam. He’d had trouble getting it up without some vivid sexual fantasy involving some big muscle stud, usually Brendan. Brenda had begun to question him about it and even had come close to accusing him of cheating. Adam didn’t know what to do about her. She was always pushing for a deeper commitment which Adam, in his present state of mind, couldn’t possibly consider. At Christmas a couple of weeks earlier she had been disappointed with his gift, a pair of diamond earrings, saying she had hoped for diamonds, but not in that form. He knew she meant she had expected an engagement ring. Even if the events of the past few weeks could be erased, he had never felt Brenda was the person with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. In the first place, she was totally indifferent to the game he loved, hardly ever attending when they played at home and rarely accepting his invitations to come with him to away games. Beyond that the only thing they had in common was sex and that was rapidly deteriorating. As Adam, deep in thought, approached his candy apple red vintage Mustang convertible, someone grabbed him around the waist and pulled him back. He felt something stiff and hard

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press into his butt. At the same time a voice in his ear said, “This is a stick up. Your ass or your life.” Adam wheeled around, ready to defend himself, only to find he was staring into the face of the man he had been worrying about all evening. “Brendan!” “In the flesh and lookin’ to get into your flesh soon, I hope.” Brendan leaned forward as if he expected Adam to kiss him right out here in the open. “What the hell, Brendan,” Adam said, pushing the man back and looking around in terror. “Don’t you care if someone sees us?” “Course I do,” Brendan retorted, adjusting his obviously deflating prick in his pants. “I checked, there’s no one around.” He leaned forward again. Adam pushed him back. “I don’t know what you think is going on between us, but as far as I’m concerned what happened was an accident, not something that’s gonna happen again.” “I don’t believe that accident shit,” Brendan said, tilting his head and looking like a puppy that had just been kicked. “And I don’t believe you do either. Tell me you haven’t been thinkin’ about me, about us, ever since. Tell me you haven’t been hopin’ I’d call or email. Tell me you aren’t lookin’ forward to next week when we play each other again…” Adam snorted. “Brendan, don’t you care what this could do to our careers? To our lives?” “Then you have been thinkin’ about us?” Adam shook his head in frustration and leaned against the side of his car. Brendan settled next to him. Adam crossed his arms over his chest and stared out into the dark parking lot. Sighing, Brendan said, “Of course I care about our lives and careers. I’m not stupid. I know what people think about guys like us, what would happen if anyone found out.” Guys like us? Adam thought. Yes, he had to admit he probably was one of the guys Brendan was referring to. He was realizing that more and more every day. “That’s why I didn’t come to the party tonight.” Brendan was continuing. “Too obvious me showin’ up when we hadn’t

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played against each other. And that’s why I haven’t called or why I made sure the parking lot was empty before I came up to you. Of course I care.” Adam turned and looked at the man. He was still staring out into the darkness, his handsome jaw set. “What do you want, Brendan?” “You,” Brendan said, turning to look at Adam, his face full of longing and expectation. Adam felt his resistance wane, and opened the door on the driver’s side of the car. Pointing to the opposite side, he said, “Get in.” They drove in silence for several miles, Brendan’s hand resting on Adam’s thigh. It felt good to have it there, almost natural. Adam turned and looked over at his passenger. Brendan turned to face Adam and smiled at him, Adam returning the smile. Where is this going? he thought. Two weeks ago, if anyone had told him he would be taking a guy home to have sex he would have fairly shouted, ‘You’re crazy’, and probably decked him, too. Yet here he was headed for his apartment with Brendan Fletcher, super stud linebacker, to do just that. He turned back to the road. **** Adam lay on his side, his head propped on his palm, looking over at his sleeping bed partner. Brendan was on his back, the sheet drawn up to his waist. One hand rested on his stomach, the other behind his head. Adam studied the handsome face with its day’s growth of stubble. He let his eyes wander down the man’s torso, taking in the deep muscular chest, rippled abs, both covered with a rich rug of dark hair. Below the sheet he could see the swell of Brendan’s still semi-hard cock. He shuddered and took a deep breath. He thought back on the evening and how they had come to this spot in time. Once the door of Adam’s apartment had closed behind them they hadn’t wasted a second. This time it was Adam that pressed Brendan against the wall of the entry hall seeking his

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kisses. They were readily forthcoming, and the men hardly broke for a breath as they stumbled their way to the bedroom, discarding articles of clothing along the way. Stretching out on the big king-sized bed they held each other. Adam let his mind and body relax, surrendering to the growing awareness of his sexuality. He carefully explored the contours of Brendan’s magnificent body. He was actually having sex with a man. And it felt good, right. He rolled Brendan on his back and straddled him so their balls and fully erect cocks were pressed against each other. He held Brendan down by pinning his wrists to the bed. Brendan pretended to struggle against the pressure. This made his biceps bulge and Adam bent to kiss one then the other. Adam turned his attention to the parted lips and waiting tongue. The kisses were prolonged. After each, Adam would look deeply into the smiling eyes of the man he held down. He knew Brendan was only pretending to be helpless. He could easily have fought back and by virtue of his superior weight and strength reversed the roles of top and bottom. But—for some reason known only to him—he let Adam be the dominant man. “Take your time,” Brendan said between kisses. “Do what feels right. Don’t feel you have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” His words made Adam smile inside. Brendan’s considerateness gave him a warm feeling of affection. He kissed him again then slowly, not releasing his wrists, kissed his way to his neck, shoulders and finally the taut, well-developed chest. Covered with a coarse, curly dark hair, it was so different from any woman he had been with. Sucking nipples had always been a real turn on for Adam. He hesitated. Would a man’s nipples bring about the same response? Brendan’s nubs were shrouded in hair but they stood out hard and erect in the same way Brenda’s did when she was aroused. Adam leaned down and licked. It felt good on his tongue. His dick responded with a tingling sensation. He followed the laving with kisses and finally began to suck each nip with rising passion. Brendan arched up against him, his nuts and cock pressing even harder against Adam’s.

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“Oh, yeah, babe. So good, so good. Love it, man.” Brendan’s words encouraged Adam, who humped against his partner, increasing his assault on Brendan’s chest. Feeling he was about to cum, Adam slowed down. He didn’t want to end this prematurely. He wanted to experience more of what it meant to have sex with a man. Releasing Brendan’s wrists and leaving the hard nipples, Adam slowly made his way down toward his rigid manhood, running his hands along the sides of his body. He kept his mouth closed, rubbing his face in the tangled mass of hair, taking in the aroma of a fully aroused man. When he reached the thick bush at the base of Brendan’s abs, Adam hesitated. He could feel Brendan’s erection against his cheek. Adam slid his face up and down, feeling the ridge of the firm dick head. Adam raised himself up and looked at the organ. Brendan was very wellendowed. His cock was thick and long, curving slightly upward. Adam took hold of the penis with one hand, using the other to cradle Brendan’s ample balls. He couldn’t remember ever touching another man ‘there’ before. Yet, as soon as Adam did, a thrill shot through him more intense than he had ever felt with any woman. Brendan groaned low in his throat and shifted slightly. Adam looked at the tip of Brendan’s hard-on. Drops of clear fluid were emerging and running down the sides over Adam’s hand. He lowered his head and licked one of the droplets. It tasted sweet. Adam bent further and kissed the dick head. Then he cautiously slid it into his mouth. He could feel Brendan’s anticipatory tensing, hear him make soft whimpering sounds. He knew the man was trying to control himself, trying not to take over and force Adam to take the entire member into his mouth and down his throat. Deliberately taking his time, not to torment Brendan, but rather to prolong his first experience with giving oral sex, Adam slowly took in more and more of the man’s cock. He traced the veins with his tongue, rubbed the glans against his palate, and massaged the shaft with his lips. “Oh, God,” moaned his partner. “You gotta have done this

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before. Fuck! If you haven’t, then you sure are a natural born cocksucker. Holy shit, you’re good.” Adam considered this. A natural born cocksucker? Well, it sure felt natural to him—another confirmation of his emerging true sexual orientation. “You don’t have to take it all, babe. That’s a lotta meat to swallow your first time,” Brendan said with tenderness, taking hold of the sides of Adam’s head and gently rubbing his temples. Adam nodded, but kept up his steady ingestion of the stiff rod. He kept going until he had buried his nose in Brendan’s lush growth of pubic hair. He never once felt he was going to gag; a feat that was not lost on Brendan. “Shit, man! You are something else. I’ve been with guys who were supposed to be pros and my meat made ‘em choke like hell.” Adam briefly wondered about ‘those guys’, but the good feelings he was experiencing soon put the thought out of his head. He bobbed his head up and down, alternating firm and light pressure. The more Adam sucked, the more he liked it. The feel, the taste, the sounds of the act imprinting themselves on his senses and mind. Brendan continued to moan and writhe beneath him, constantly emitting verbal ejaculations of praise and enjoyment at the service he was being given. Finally, he said, “Stop, man, I’m gonna shoot. You don’t have ta…oh, shit, fuck…” the last of his words were swallowed in a growl as his cock twitched violently in Adam’s mouth. Adam could feel Brendan’s dick pulsate, and then felt the warm spurts of cum being jettisoned into his mouth. He swallowed, relishing the taste. Brendan began to laugh. His body jerked. “Stop, babe. Shit…stop…too sensitive. Stop!” Adam rocked back on his haunches. Brendan opened his arms and invited him in. Adam crawled up and lay next to him. Brendan turned and kissed him. “Guess I did okay for a rookie,” Adam said. “Rookie of the year, babe. Rookie of the year.”

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They lay together for a time. Adam was still hard. He wasn’t sure what to do next. He had expected Brendan to fuck him. Hoped he would actually. He wondered if Brendan was a one shot wonder or if he was good for a couple of overtimes. He was just about to ask Brendan when the man turned to him and said, “Now we need to take care of your condition.” He grasped Adam’s hard dick and stroked it. “What did you have in mind?” Adam replied, smiling. “Well, I could suck you off.” Adam liked that idea and nodded. “Or, I could give you a hand job,” Brendan said as if seriously considering each option. “That’d be okay,” Adam said, although he preferred the first suggestion. “Or, you could fuck me!” Brendan said, rolling over on top of Adam and kissing him. Adam was flabbergasted. He hadn’t considered this possibility. He assumed that since Brendan had topped him that first time he would be the one doing the fucking. The idea appealed to him, though, and he readily agreed once he thought about it further. “You want me to loosen myself up, or are you up to that?” Brendan asked. Adam considered this. He thought about how Brendan had readied him: the licking and probing of his asshole with his tongue and then his fingers. He had eaten his girlfriend out and hadn’t enjoyed it but this seemed different. “I can try,” he said. “You sure?” “Yes,” Adam said firmly. Brendan kissed him and rolled off of him. He lay down on his stomach and spread his legs. “I’m all yours.” Adam turned on his side and surveyed the manly ass presented before him. Brendan’s back was smooth. He had a patch of hair at the small of his back that continued to the mounds of muscular flesh and down his legs. The hair was thicker down the man’s ass crack. Adam reached out and ran his

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fingers over the taut buns and down into the crack. He increased the pressure until he was massaging the firm flesh. He felt his own arousal increasing. Getting up on his knees between Brendan’s legs, Adam began a vigorous manipulation of Brendan’s glutes. Pressing and pushing as if kneading bread dough, he squeezed and stroked, Brendan sensuously responding to his touch. After a time Adam leaned forward and began kissing Brendan’s ass cheeks, then licking them and finally tracing the crack with his tongue. Widening the crevice, Adam looked at the puckered brown sphincter. Reaching in, he rubbed it with his thumb. Brendan arched up, encouraging more contact. Adam leaned down and gently tongued the constricted hole. Brendan moaned. Adam spit and pushed harder with his tongue. The hole opened slightly and Adam thrust his tongue inside. “Yeah, baby, tongue fuck that tight hole. Make it open for you.” Adam’s passions were rising, and he was moved to lick, suck and kiss Brendan’s tight ass. He was really enjoying this. There were no reservations. Adam’s cock felt hard and needy. He began to insert his finger. “That’s it, babe. Oh, yeah,” Brendan moaned. One finger, then two, then back to his tongue, Adam felt the opening relax more and more. He loved the soft velvet feel of the inside of Brendan’s body, was almost overwhelmed with the desire for union. Brendan turned over and sat up. “Lay down,” he ordered. Confused, Adam did as he was told. Brendan got up and picked his pants up off the floor and extracted a condom from one of the pockets. Brendan took the rubber out of its foil wrapper, put it in his mouth, and kneeling between Adam’s legs, rolled it onto his rock hard prick with his lips. “Oh, God!” Adam moaned. Brendan squirted lube on the throbbing tool with one hand while applying the gel to himself with the other. Straddling Adam, Brendan lined himself up with Adam’s cock and guided him inside. The sensations that flooded Adam’s brain made him reel

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with pleasure and emotion. Brendan sat perfectly still and smiled down at Adam, who was trembling below him. He leaned down and kissed him. Without breaking the kiss Brendan began to initiate a rhythm. Adam joined in the dance. Brendan sat back and the two were carried away by their union and the stimulation. Adam didn’t know how long they continued to fuck. But too soon he felt his nuts contract and he was shooting his stuff into the latex barrier covering his dick. Brendan had begun pumping himself—and when he heard Adam’s moans of pleasure—he shot his ropes of white cum onto Adam’s chest and abs. **** Adam came back to the present. He took a deep breath, still staring at the man sleeping by his side. What had the sex meant to Brendan? Was it just another roll in the sheets with someone new? He wasn’t sure. But for Adam it was something more. While the two men were in union, their separate bodies became one, something happened that Adam had never experienced before. He didn’t have a label for it, but it was more than just physical pleasure and need satisfaction. It touched him at a deeper level. Not knowing how to interpret this feeling he lay down next to Brendan, placing one arm across his stomach, taking hold of Brendan’s forearm. He laid his head on Brendan’s chest. Brendan stirred, turned and kissed the top of Adam’s head, murmuring, “Good night, babe.” The warm feeling that didn’t have a name washed over Adam again. This time he recognized it. Not wanting to presume too much, he whispered back low enough so he could be sure Brendan couldn’t hear, “Good night, Bren. I love you.” **** The next morning Adam awoke alone in the bed. It took him a few seconds to reorient himself. He heard the shower and smiled. Rolling over, he reached out and put his hand on

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Brendan’s pillow. Moving closer, Adam buried his face in it and thought he could catch a bit of Brendan’s scent. The smell brought an instantaneous response. He decided a shower would be a great idea. However, when he got to the bathroom, Brendan was just stepping out of the tub. When he saw Adam he smiled. “Mornin,’ babe,” he said, leaning forward to give Adam a kiss. “Um…I was just gonna join you, but I guess you’re all done,” Adam said, unable to hide his disappointment. “Sorry, ma man,” Brendan said. “I shoulda got you up, but you were sleepin’ so sweet.” He kissed Adam again as he toweled himself dry. “And I gotta get home. We have our team meeting this afternoon to get ready to play next week. Gonna play a team that’s supposed to have a hot shot quarterback…” Adam chuckled. “…and I should watch some films of his games so I know how I can take care a him.” “This is gonna be awkward,” Adam said, as much to himself as to Brendan. “Naw, we can handle it. You’ll just have to control yourself when I’m layin’ on top of you after I sack you. Especially when I grope ya. Can’t go moanin’ ‘Kiss me Bren, kiss me.’” Brendan laughed and walked past Adam, giving his balls a squeeze. Adam went back into the bedroom and sat on the bed and watched Brendan dress. Adam thought of the upcoming game, thought of the game a few weeks back when their two teams had faced off and, despite Brendan’s brilliant play, Adam had managed to beat him. Would he be able to concentrate on his playing and not on the man on the other side of the line of scrimmage, who was now more than just another linebacker? After Brendan had dressed Adam slipped on a robe and they walked together to the door of Adam’s apartment. There they stopped. Brendan took him in his arms and kissed him. Then he said, “See you next Sunday. I’m gonna whip your cute little quarterback butt, Davis, in more ways than one.” “We’ll see about that, Fletcher,” Adam retorted. “Just

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could be that it’ll be me whipping that fine ass of yours…in more ways than one.” They both laughed. Brendan kissed Adam again and opened the door. As he started to leave he turned back to Adam. Smiling a gentle smile, he said, “By the way…I love you, too.” Adam stood, mouth open, as Brendan retreated down the hall and waited briefly in front of the elevator. The doors opened, Brendan turned and blew Adam a kiss as he stepped inside the car. Adam waved back and closed the door to the apartment. He leaned against it shaking his head. His life had changed so much in such a short time. Where would things go from here? What was he to make of his feelings of love for Brendan and Brendan’s words as he left? Not having any answers to these questions, Adam walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Picking up the remote he switched on ESPN to see what they had to say about his game the previous day. “Quarterback Adam Davis looked pretty sharp in the Mustangs’ victory yesterday,” the announcer was saying. “But next week he’s gonna face an angry Brendan Fletcher when they play the Cyclones. Davis embarrassed the linebacker in their last meeting with that last minute two-point conversion, and he’s going to be out for blood extending this hot rivalry from the teams to a personal level. Fletcher’s got a chip on his shoulder and Davis better be ready as he’ll be a target next week for sure.” “Fuckin’ media…,” Adam said out loud. “…always creating situations that don’t exist just to hype things up. Shit, if they knew what was really goin’ on…” The announcer was continuing. “It was reported that Fletcher is so intent on getting back at Davis he scouted the Mustangs’ game personally yesterday just so he could get a better handle on how to dismantle Davis’ play. The man’s got a real grudge going there.” Adam didn’t watch anymore. He switched off the television. Damn, he thought. They knew Bren was here! Those

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assholes are going to be watching our every move. Probably want interviews. We really are gonna have to be careful. Adam got up and walked to the bathroom, dropped his bathrobe and stepped into the shower, still worried about the fishbowl he and Brendan would be in.

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Chapter 3 Adam walked through the locker room. His teammates were getting ready for the first briefings on the practice schedule for the Divisional Playoff game against the Cyclones. Some were in the training room getting treatment for their injuries or were relaxing in the whirlpools. He heard snatches of conversation as he walked to the classroom where the briefing would be held. “Yeah, I heard it, too. ESPN said Fletcher was here. I thought I saw him hangin’ around the parkin’ lot after the…” Adam moved on. “…they actually passed the fuckin’ repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Can you believe that? Gays in the military. Shit. Better not pass no DADT repeal in the NFL. We don’t want no fuckin’ fags…” He quickened his step. Adam didn’t want to hear more. He went into the classroom and closed the door. He was among the first to arrive and sat in the back by himself. He closed his eyes. What am I gettin’ myself into? He thought about the previous night, Brendan’s parting words to him and what the ESPN announcers had said about the two of them. “Davis!” Adam’s head snapped up. “Davis,” the coach said again. “Are you gonna grace us with your presence or are you just gonna sit there and contemplate the tips of your toes?” There was general laughter in the room. He had been so deep in thought about his ‘situation’ with regard to Brendan he hadn’t been aware the rest of the team had entered. “Ah…sorry, coach I was just thinking about…” “Sex probably,” an unidentified voice came from somewhere among the players. There was more laughter and affirmations that any player worth his salt would probably be thinking about sex. “Very funny,” Adam called over his shoulder as he made his way to the front of the room and sat down. The briefing began. It was easy to stay focused. They were playing Brendan’s team. Brendan was the thing most on his mind just then anyway.

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As the coaches talked about the Cyclone’s defense, Adam took notes. Later he would study films. He would enjoy that. Or would he? Could he concentrate on working out an offensive strategy or would he just stare at images of Brendan as he played? His cell beeped, indicating an incoming text. “You gonna take that?” the coach said sarcastically. “We don’t mind waitin’ on you, Davis.” Adam glanced down at the screen of his phone. I meant it when I said I love you…smile. Bren. “Oh, guys…she meant it when she said I love you,” said Ken, one of the linemen who was sitting next to Adam and who had evidently read the text over his shoulder. The team laughed and Adam thanked whatever gods there were that his girlfriend’s name was Brenda. “Very funny,” he said with a bravado he didn’t feel. “Now can we get back on track?” The coach grumped, rolled his eyes and went back to explaining what plays he felt would be effective. Adam’s cell beeped again. “Aren’t you gonna answer that?” Under the coach’s glare, Adam mumbled, “Sorry,” and turned off the phone. As the meeting broke up, Adam made his way to the film room where he could start reviewing tapes of their opponent’s previous games, particularly the one in which they played each other. He sat down in front of one of the monitors, but before turning it on, he switched on his phone and read the text he had ignored earlier. hey babe, im watching a tape of one sexy qb im gonna flatten next week. u watching my tapes yet? Adam sighed and texted back. Yes What took u so long to answer? Was in our briefing. Bren, please be careful. One of the guys read 1st txt over my shoulder. Ok, ill be a good boy. Study those tapes well. Ill be the one with nicest ass! BFN

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Adam smiled. Yeah, Brendan would be the one with the best ass. Bye for now, he sent back. He turned his attention to studying the Cyclone defense, trying his best to be objective as he watched a certain linebacker with a decidedly superior ass efficiently demolish many plays Adam’s offense had run. Beating the Cyclones was going to be a tall order. **** The week of practice preparing for the Divisional Playoff game against Brendan’s team was going well, Adam thought. He was almost able to separate the linebacker he would face on the field that Sunday from the guy who was continually calling or texting him. Adam’s phone would ring in the locker room, or he would get a text during a meeting and it would be Brendan. How r u babe? Want to give me any ideas from ur playbook? lol Man i miss u. Wish i was kissing u right now. Get ready cuz im gonna be in your face Mr. Adam responded to some of the messages by writing back, to others by smiling or laughing, but to all he responded emotionally. The warm feelings of growing affection and excitement at the prospect of what might lie ahead for him made him happy. They also scared him. This was a path he had never imagined he would be walking. But Adam was a premiere quarterback. He was a competitor. He never lost sight of what the game meant in terms of his career and what it meant for his team. He could enjoy his budding relationship, dangerous as it was to his future, but he wouldn’t let it distract him from his goal of making it to the Super Bowl. The hype from the media was, surprisingly, helping in that regard. The battle of the quarterback vs. the linebacker which had been sparked by that game during the regular season kept

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the spirit of competition in the forefront of Adam’s preparations. Not one interview, not a single mention of the upcoming game was without questions or references to the media-created grudge match between the two men. He would watch with a mixture of amusement and competitive motivation when he heard Brendan’s answers to interview questions or heard what the sportswriters and announcers quoted him as saying. Brendan would call him every night, and they would laugh about the way their supposed animosity toward one another was being played out. Adam had to admit his fear of the attention the two men were getting was groundless. No one, it seemed, saw anything more between them than two football players who were to meet on the field of battle who seemingly had an intense dislike for one another. **** Brendan’s team had home field advantage as the winner of their division. Adam would be on Brendan’s home turf. Adam’s team flew into town on the Friday before the game and checked into a hotel. The phone rang in Adam’s room. “Hello?” he said, knowing before he heard a response who it would be. “Hello, this is Chris Berman of ESPN. I’d like to come up to your room for an interview.” “You do the worst Boomer imitation ever,” Adam replied, laughing. Brendan laughed as well. “Yeah, but I mean it. Gimme your room number and I’ll come right over. I miss you, man.” “Are you out of your mind?” Adam exclaimed. “Yeah…out of my mind in love with you. What’s the number?” “Brendan! The whole team is in rooms on this floor.” “I’ll be careful, man. I gotta see you.” “We can’t. Two days before the game. No one ever ‘visits’ someone from the team they’re playing at this point in the playoffs, especially if they’re supposed to have this big-time

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grudge thing going on and definitely not in their hotel room.” “Then come to my place. Here’s the address…” Exasperated, Adam said, “We have curfew. You know that. They’ll check to make sure we’re in our rooms.” “Adam…” “No!” Brendan was silent. “Look,” Adam started, afraid he’d hurt Brendan’s feelings. “I want to see you, too. But we have to be careful. After this is all over—” “You mean after we whip your sorry asses and go on to win the Super Bowl?” Adam was glad to hear the old bravado in Brendan’s voice. “Yes, after we whip YOUR asses, you mean. We’ll work out a way to see one another, but right now we gotta lay low. We’re too high profile.” “Okay, babe. You win. I’ll call you in the mornin’. Sleep well.” Adam was surprised—and if he were honest—a little disappointed that Brendan hadn’t put up more of a protest, but he was also relieved. Discrete texts and phone calls were one thing. He had passed off questions from his teammates by saying it was his girlfriend calling so often and at inopportune times, but taking a chance on being seen together now was crazy. “Yeah, well, okay. You sleep well, too,” Adam said. “Love ya, man.” “Love you, too Bren. Good night.” A click ended the call. Adam stood for a moment with the phone to his ear, almost wishing Brendan was still on the other end. He finally put the receiver down and walked to the bathroom, shedding clothes along the way. “Fuckin’ crazy linebacker,” he said quietly, smiling to himself. The shower felt great. The warm spray relaxed him. The long flight had made him feel stiff. As he soaped up he mentally checked the next day’s walk-through schedule. However, when he got to his balls and cock his thoughts immediately turned to the six foot five inch, two hundred fifty pound man of solid muscle with that wonderful hairy chest and fantastic firm, round

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ass, big balls and thick, long dick. His cock hardened exquisitely responding to the physical stimulation and mental images. Adam began to stroke himself, slowly at first then more earnestly. His mind was filled with memories of his man: kissing, fondling, sucking, fucking. He was going to cum. He stopped. No, he thought, I’m gonna save this for bed. I want to prolong this for awhile. Finishing his shower Adam got out of the glass enclosure and began to towel himself dry. He walked into the bedroom, a towel over his head, vigorously rubbing his hair, his still semihard cock swaying to the rhythm of his walk. “What took you so long, beautiful?” Adam’s head snapped up and out from under the towel. There, lying on the bed, totally naked and slowly stroking his own turgid dick, was the object of his shower fantasy, in the flesh and ready to make love. “Brendan! What the fuck?” “That’s the point, isn’t it?” Brendan laughed. “The fuck.” “But…how did you get in? Did anyone see you? Shit…they’re gonna be doing curfew check…” “Relax, my beautiful, sexy man, and bring that gorgeous cock closer so I can give it some attention.” Brendan grabbed Adam’s arm and pulled him to the bed while at the same time swinging his legs off the side. “Did I ever tell you redheads are my biggest turn on?” As Adam shook his head he felt his dick being swallowed to the base and Brendan’s face bury itself in his tangled auburn nest. All he could do was moan. He grasped Brendan’s head, letting all his questions and concerns fade and pumped his now rehardened tool as far into the man’s throat as he could. Brendan pulled off. Adam looked down. Brendan was cupping his balls with one hand and running the other through the thick red bush at the base of his throbbing cock. “Man, you have no idea what this red rod and that ginger bush do to me,” he said, the lust and excitement showing in his voice. Brendan began to kiss and lick the tip of Adam’s prick.

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Then the strokes extended to the sides, Brendan’s tongue tracing the veins, pulsating in unison with Adam’s heart that raced with his own increasing arousal. Grabbing Adam’s ass with both hands, Brendan thrust Adam’s cock back in his mouth. Adam knew he wouldn’t last long. His previous jack-off session in the shower had brought him close to climax. Now, with the increased stimulation that came from the actual presence of the man who was the object of that fantasy, he was pushed to the edge. “Bren,” he gasped in a strangled voice, “I’m gonna…” That was as far as Adam got. Waves of pleasure and spasms of delight swept through his body as his cum spurted from his dick into the confines of his lover’s mouth. Brendan moaned his gratitude at being the recipient of this gift from Adam’s body. Trembling, Adam collapsed into Brendan’s arms. As they rolled onto the bed, Brendan kissed Adam, sharing the man juices that had just been offered to him. Adam pressed his body as firmly against Brendan’s as he could. He felt as if he couldn’t get close enough. They continued to kiss and caress for some time. Finally Adam looked into Brendan’s face and said, “You’re a crazy man.” Brendan laughed. “Yeah, I am. A man crazy about you.” “Now, tell me how you managed to get in here.” “Well, you’re a big time superstar quarterback aren’t you?” Adam wrinkled his brow. “Well, pretty big I guess.” Brendan kissed him. “That’s another reason I love you. You’re so fuckin’ modest. Believe me, you’re star status.” Chuckling and shrugging his shoulders, Adam nodded and said, “Okay, yeah I’m pretty well-known.” “And what happens when you’re at home,” Brendan continued, “when you walk into a restaurant?” “Whaddaya mean?” “Don’t tell me you don’t get preferential treatment, that they don’t give you the best table in the place, push you to the head of a waiting line?”

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Adam self-consciously nodded again. “Yeah, I get some perks.” “So, my man, I am pretty celebrity here, too. I just walked in and told the guy at the desk I wanted a key to visit my friend and he fell all over himself getting me one.” “Holy shit, Brendan. What if someone saw you or overheard or …” Another kiss silenced Adam. “Relax. No one saw me.” Breaking the kiss, Adam said, “How can you be sure?” “You worry too much. Now I got a little friend down here…” He pulled Adam’s hand between his legs and placed it on his rock hard cock. “…that needs a bit of attention.” “That’s no ‘little’ friend,” Adam said, grasping the rigid shaft and tugging on it. “What did you have in mind?” “My friend, plus your beautiful ass,” said Brendan, reaching around and stroking Adam’s smooth muscular butt. Adam responded by clinching his gluteal muscles, which caused Brendan to let out a long hiss between his teeth. Words were put aside as Brendan pulled Adam into a prolonged kiss in which their tongues began a seductive dance. At the same time Brendan began massaging the mounds of flesh and probing the crevice searching for the puckered sphincter. When he found it he raised up and looked into Adam’s eyes. Adam nodded and leaned up to kiss Brendan once more. As they finished the kiss, Brendan whispered, “Roll over.” Adam obliged, flipping onto his stomach and spreading his legs. Brendan knelt between them. He ran his hand up and down the crevice. He leaned forward, pressed his hard cock into the crack and then, bracing himself on both arms, pumped against Adam running his rod back and forth the length of the valley between the mounds of firm muscle. Brendan lowered himself until he was stretched out on Adam’s back. He caressed the nape of Adam’s neck. Adam turned his head and kissed him. Still humping against him Brendan began to lick and kiss his neck and shoulders. Adam expressed the pleasure he was feeling with a deep sigh and raised his ass to meet Brendan’s thrusts.

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“I need you inside me,” Adam whispered. “I know,” Brendan answered and raised up on his knees, continuing his licking and sucking as he moved down Adam’s body until he reached the top of Adam’s ass crack. Biting, licking and kissing he sent waves of pleasure through Adam’s body. Adam raised and lowered his ass beneath the tender assault, softly moaning his approval, encouraging Brendan on. Brendan spread the cheeks and traced the deep valley with his tongue until he reached the puckered hole. He ran his tongue around the rim. “Oh, man,” his voice muffled by the flesh around his mouth, “I love that little ring of red hairs around your hole.” Brendan backed up his words by kissing the object of his adoration and inserting his tongue into the wrinkled entry to Adam’s body. Adam responded by pressing himself upward against the invading muscle. Brendan continued to lick, kiss and probe. After a time he replaced his tongue with his fingers, loosening and readying Adam for the moment when they would come together. “You got some lube?” Brendan’s husky voice broke the spell his ministrations had created. “Uh-huh. In the bed stand,” Adam whispered, eyes closed, trying not to give into the interruption. He heard Brendan rummaging around in the drawer. “No rubbers?” Adam half rolled on his side. “No, I don’t need ‘em with Brenda. She’s on the pill and we’re exclusive…or we were,” he said, suddenly feeling strange about what the two men were about to do. “Well, I didn’t bring any this time. Thought you’d have ‘em.” Brendan said with a sigh as he sat down on the edge of the bed, “I’m pretty sure I’m okay, but I don’t think we should take a chance. You mean too much to me to do anything stupid and ruin it.” Adam was surprised at the wave of disappointment and feeling of loss that swept his body. If he had questions about his feelings for Brendan or his emerging sexual orientation, the deep emotions he was experiencing just then cleared them away.

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Although Brendan had told him he loved him, it had been in such a lighthearted way Adam wasn’t sure until this moment that they reflected any true depth of feeling. He wanted more than ever to unite his body with this man. The phone rang. “Curfew check,” said Adam, rolling onto his side away from Brendan and picking up the receiver. “Hello. Yeah, I’m here. Yes, I’m…alone.” Adam said, trying to keep his voice from belying the fact he was far from alone as Brendan had spooned himself behind him and was licking his free ear. After he said goodbye, Adam turned back to his lover. They kissed. “Don’t you have to get back for curfew?” “Not…at the team…hotel…till tomorrow,” Brendan responded, punctuating every few words with a kiss. Feeling Brendan hardening against his own stiffening dick, Adam replied, “Well…then…we need…to find…a way…to help you…out.” “Just stay where you are, babe,” Brendan answered. Brendan turned over and picked up the tube of lube from where he had laid it on the bed. Rolling on his back he opened it and squirted some onto his hand. He transferred the cool gel to Adam’s cock and then his own. Turning back to face Adam, Brendan pressed himself against him adjusting their cocks so they lay side by side. Initiating a steady rhythm he pulled Adam into an embrace. Lips met, tongues dueled, bodies ground against each other. Adam’s hands roamed over Brendan’s back from his broad shoulders to his muscular ass. Feelings of appreciation for the impressive masculinity of his partner surged as Adam felt his passion rising, matching that of his lover. Brendan reached his peak first, moaning his climax directly into Adam’s mouth. He immediately rolled onto his back pulling Adam over on top of him. Adam continued to pump against Brendan, his cock sliding through the profuse black thatch, through the mixture of lube and slippery cum until he added his own to the brew.

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Adam kissed Brendan as he climaxed and let out a sigh of contentment. He let his legs slide to either side of the man beneath him. He lay his head on Brendan’s chest as Brendan stroked his head. There he fell asleep. **** Morning found the two men in the same positions. The phone rang and they both were startled. Adam raised his head to see a sleepy-eyed Brendan smiling at him. “Sleep well, babe?” he asked, running his hands over Adam’s back. As the phone rang a second time, the quarterback could feel himself growing hard against the linebacker’s firm stomach. Adam reached for the phone. “Good morning,” came the recorded message. “This is your wake up call.” Adam replaced the receiver and stretched up to kiss Brendan. It was a long leisurely kiss that told more than words how Adam was feeling about the situation he was finding himself in. A slight twinge of anxiety about how Brendan would get away without being detected played in the back of his mind, but he put it aside. Brendan was Houdini, it seemed. Adam trusted he would vanish from sight without anyone who mattered knowing he had been there. “Shower?” Brendan asked. Adam nodded. As he started to rise, he felt a pull on his skin caused by the dried fluid deposited there the night before. “Yeah…I think it’s a definite necessity.” They got up and walked to the bathroom, Brendan behind Adam, his arms around Adam’s waist, kissing the back of his neck, pressing his hard cock into the crack of Adam’s ass. This is gonna be one hot, hot shower, Adam thought. Brendan continued to massage Adam’s shoulders as he reached into the glass shower enclosure to start the water. Adam turned and faced Brendan, who enfolded him in his arms and kissed him while at the same time backing him into the shower.

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They continued to kiss and fondle as the hot water cascaded over their shoulders. Brendan knelt and took Adam’s hard cock into his mouth, while Adam leaned against the wall and let the stimulation carry him away. The more he was with Brendan, the more natural and right this all felt. If only the world in general and the NFL in particular could see it this way. Adam didn’t let his thoughts stay there. He reached down and massaged Brendan’s head. Brendan brought him skillfully to the brink of climax, but as was his style he stopped just before Adam reached the point of no return. Brendan got to his feet and kissed Adam with force and emotion. “God,” Brendan moaned, “I love you so fuckin’ much.” They kissed again. Then Brendan took the soap and began to lather Adam’s body. Adam did the same until both were covered with foam and their bodies slid over each other. Turning Adam to the wall, Brendan slipped his dick into the crevice of Adam’s ass. His breath coming in gasps, Brendan pumped his engorged dick along the length of the soap filled valley. He pressed the head of his cock against Adam’s hole. His voice trembled as he said, “Adam, I want to fuck you so bad, man, so bad.” Adam felt the tip of the invading member breach the entry. He held his breath waiting for the thrust that would consummate their union. But it didn’t come. With a whimper Brendan withdrew and once again slid his rod up and down between the firm, smooth mounds of muscle. At the same time he reached around and began to stroke Adam’s throbbing tumescence. Synchronizing his thrusts with his tugs on Adam’s cock, Brendan buried his face in Adam’s neck. In a short time Adam could feel Brendan stiffen against him, heard him growl, and felt the warm gush of fluid fill the gorge between his glutes. His own climax came seconds later. Spent, the two men leaned against the wall as the warm water continued to surge over them, washing away the soap and cum. ****

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“We gotta get tested,” Brendan said later as he dressed to leave. “I don’t ever want to not be able to be inside you again.” Adam agreed, but said, “And just how are we gonna go about doing that?” “There are clinics. It’s all anonymous.” “Oh, yeah, sure. But, Brendan, we’re pretty recognizable. Almost anywhere we go, we could be identified.” “So, straight guys get tested all the time.” “I know,” Adam granted, “but there’s always the question. Remember AIDS was first considered a gay man’s disease.” “Well, babe, I will find a way. Now kiss me goodbye. I gotta get to the last team practice.” As they broke from the kiss, Brendan looked into Adam’s eyes. “No regrets?” “None,” Adam replied. “Good. None here either. I won’t be back tonight. I’ll have curfew, too.” Both disappointed and slightly relieved he didn’t have to worry about Brendan being caught in his hotel room, Adam nodded. Although he loved having Brendan with him, the prospect of discovery didn’t exactly thrill him. “Check the hall.” Adam stuck his head out the door. A group of players were just entering the elevator. As soon as the door closed, Adam said, “Hall’s empty.” Brendan kissed him lightly, “I’m gonna have your ass tomorrow.” Although he wished it were otherwise, Adam knew he meant on the football field. “In your dreams,” he said. Brendan looked up and down the hallway then sprinted for the door marked ‘Stairs’ and, with one quick look back and a wave, disappeared.

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Chapter 4 “Here we are again, Roger, the Mustangs and the Cyclones. This time it’s for all the marbles.” “Right, Ed. This is the playoffs. You lose and it’s all over until next year.” “And we have the added excitement of the Davis/Fletcher feud.” “You know, though, Ed; both these talented players have sidestepped any response to media questions about the grudge match between them.” “Well, they take the field in just a few minutes. Maybe they will let their play do the talking.” “You could be right. The Cyclones are favored to win despite their loss to the Mustangs during the regular season. Both these guys have reason to give it their all.” “Let’s go down to the field for the coin toss.” **** “As the visiting team captain you will call the toss as the coin is in the air,” the referee said to Adam as he and the other honorary Mustang captains stood facing those of the Cyclones, one of which was Brendan. “Are you ready?” he asked, looking at Adam, who had not answered. “Davis!” Ashanti nudged Adam with his shoulder. Adam realized he was standing, staring at a smiling Brendan, who winked at him as he brought himself back to reality. “Uh…heads,” Adam almost yelled. “You need to wait ‘till I toss the coin,” the referee said, patronizingly. Brendan and the other Cyclones laughed. Adam cursed himself silently for his stupidity. He hadn’t heard from or seen Brendan since they’d spent the night together. Seeing him now, only a few feet away, had momentarily stunned Adam. His paranoid self had been glad there had been no contact. That part of him that lusted for and

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loved the man, felt definite Brendan deprivation. It was that portion of Adam’s consciousness that had taken him away from the reality of where he was and what was going on. Adam heard a muffled voice beside him say, “We’re gonna get a delay of game call here,” followed by a snicker from the Cyclones. “I’m ready,” Adam said not looking across at the linebacker. The ref tossed the coin. “Heads!” Adam yelled. “Heads it is!” The referee called out. “Will you receive or kick?” By this time Adam was paying attention. “We want the ball,” he said, looking directly at Brendan. Then realizing the camera was trained on him he turned to the referee. “Which goal?” the ref asked. “North,” Brendan replied. The official positioned the teams and went through the ritual, giving the signals which reflected the Mustang’s choices even though the whole thing was broadcast over loudspeakers and displayed on the stadium’s Jumbotron. Then he requested the captains shake hands. As Brendan came forward and took Adam’s outstretched hand he leaned close and spoke directly into Adam’s ear. “Couldn’t wait for us to be on the field at the same time, could ya?” he said with a laugh. Although his first reaction was panic, Adam hoped if anyone had overheard, they would relate the comment to the ongoing drama that the media had been creating between the two for the past week. Adam pushed Brendan away and merely smiled. **** On their first possession, Adam took the Mustangs down the field seventy-seven yards in eight plays and scored with a pass to Dean. It was almost too easy. His offensive line gave him plenty of time to develop passing plays and opened huge holes

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for the running backs. He’d seen Brendan, his linebacker lover, prowling the line of scrimmage looking for openings to get to him, but there were none. The Cyclones went three and out on their first series, and when Adam’s team took the field they once again scored in record time. This pattern continued with the score at half time 21 to 3 in favor of Adam and the Mustangs. Adam wondered what Brendan was feeling, thinking? Was their relationship affecting the way Brendan was playing? He hoped not. He wanted the game to be played oblivious to them and what was happening between the two players off the field. The second half was different. The Cyclones made adjustments on both offense and defense. They scored the first time they had the ball and kept the Mustang offense from scoring the entire second half. By the time the play clock showed less than a minute to play Brendan’s team had scored two touchdowns and a field goal, making the score 21 to 20 and they had the ball. A field goal would win it for them. Adam stood on the sideline and watched helplessly as the Cyclones were driving to within kicking range of their field goal specialist. There was nothing he could do but watch as they lined up to attempt the score that would probably win the game for them. He still wondered at the fact Brendan hadn’t come near him the entire game. Was it just because his offensive line had kept him at bay or because the man was choosing not to try to get to him? He guessed he could ask Brendan that later when…well… whenever they were able to get together. His thoughts were interrupted by wild cheers mixed with loud groans from the crowd. The Cyclones had kicked a field goal. . The score was now 23 to 21 with twenty seconds left on the clock. Why hadn’t they let the clock run down before going for the points so that there would be no time left for the Mustangs to get the ball and possibly score again? Adam didn’t have time to think about that error in game management, whether it be the coaches or the players who made the mistake. All he knew was there was a slim chance he could pull this game out. Then there was another error by the Cyclones: their kick-

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off went out of bounds which drew a flag and placed the ball on the Mustangs' forty yard line. Adam completed three quick short yardage pass plays which moved the ball to the Cyclones fortytwo. They had three chances to get within their kicker’s range: the thirty yard line. On first down, Brendan tipped Adam’s pass and it fell incomplete. On second down Brendan hurried him by breaking through the blocks of two linemen and almost sacking him. Adam’s throw was errant and the receiver missed it. Brendan, it seemed, had come to life. On third and ten, Adam’s pass was spot on to his receiver on the twenty yard line, but he dropped it. That stopped the clock. Now it was fourth down with the play clock at three seconds. Still out of range for their placekicker, Adam had one last play, an almost impossible chance to win the game. The play was called in the huddle. They broke the huddle and Adam took his place in the shot gun. He surveyed the defense. They were expecting a Hail Mary: a deep pass into the end zone. Adam had instead called a deep post pattern just outside the end zone. With any luck the receiver would catch the ball and fall over the goal line before the corners and safeties could scramble up to where the ball would be thrown. Adam watched Brendan. The linebacker’s eyes were on his. He paced two steps left, two right, like a caged lion, waiting for the ball to be snapped. Adam took the long snap from center. As Dean streaked down the field right toward the designated spot in the route, Adam cocked his arm and let the ball fly. Just as he did Brendan hit him full on in the chest, wrapping his arms around his waist. With a thud, the two men fell to the ground, Brendan pinning Adam beneath him. Adam felt his breath leave him with a grunt. He opened his eyes to see Brendan staring at him through the grids of their facemasks. “You okay?” Brendan asked, concern in his voice. Adam responded in a strangled voice, trying to get his breathing going again, “Yeah, fine.” “Good,” Brendan said, sounding relieved. “Still love me?” Before the startled Adam could respond, he heard a roar

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from the crowd. Brendan got up and pulled Adam to his feet. His teammates crowded around him. Dean had caught the pass. They had won the game. Adam looked for Brendan, who stood on the outside of the circle of players. He saluted the victorious quarterback and mouthed, “Later, babe.” Adam nodded and was carried away in the celebrating crowd of players. **** Brendan and Adam sat next to each other on the couch watching the wrap-up of the game they had just played on ESPN. They each held a beer and their hair was still damp from the shower they had taken after making love when they had returned to Adam’s hotel room. Brendan had once again used his master spy skills to get into the room without detection. Their lovemaking had been spectacular. It seemed as if Brendan was trying with every fiber of his being to communicate his love for Adam. It seemed all for Adam’s pleasure. Adam was the victor, and apparently the spoils of that victory were Brendan’s complete intention to pleasure the conquering hero in every way he could. Adam, using the condom Brendan had remembered to supply, had topped him, and the intense expression of love on the man’s face as they reached their mutual climaxes had both thrilled and puzzled Adam. “So, the Mustangs move on to the Divisional Championship game and the defending Super Bowl Champions go home until next year,” the announcer was saying. Brendan gave Adam’s neck a squeeze and kissed the top of his head. Adam squeezed Brendan’s thigh in response. “It was a game of two different halves,” the voice on the TV continued. “The first half was all Mustangs and Adam Davis, the second, all Cyclones’ defense shutting down Davis and the Mustang offense. Surprisingly absent from that scenario was the play of linebacker Brendan Fletcher. Brendan made some spectacular tackles of running backs but couldn’t seem to get to the quarterback. All the hype that surrounded the grudge match

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between him and Davis seemed to fizzle until the very last series when he seemed to step up and almost thwarted the last minute touchdown that put the game away for the Mustangs.” Adam turned to look at Brendan, who continued to stare at the screen. The sportscaster was continuing. “Both Adam Davis and Brendan Fletcher have been named to the Pro Bowl team for the NFC. Davis won’t play if his team makes it to the Super Bowl. Fletcher will be the leading player on the NFC defense in that game in two weeks when…” Brendan switched off the set. He sat rolling his can of beer between his hands, staring at the blank screen. Finally he turned to Adam. “You want an explanation, don’t you?” he asked, smiling. “No, I…” Adam began. “Well, yeah. I guess I do.” Brendan put his beer down, took Adam’s out of his hand as well and pulled the man close. “I love you,” was all he said, looking intently into Adam’s eyes. “And?” Adam asked, confused. “That’s it…I love you.” Adam wrinkled his brow. Brendan continued. “Before the game I fully intended to cream your ass. No matter what our relationship, I was gonna do all I could to keep you from winning the game, to make sure we went on for another Super Bowl.” Brendan lowered his eyes from Adam’s face and sat in silence for a few seconds. Adam waited. “But then, on the first play of the game I had a clear shot at you and…” he took a deep breath. “…and I couldn’t do it.” He raised his eyes to meet Adam’s once more. “I realized I loved you.” “But you’ve told me you loved me a lot in the last couple of weeks.” “Yeah but until I had you in my sights, and knew I could do serious damage to you…” Brendan shrugged and smiled as his voice trailed off. He tightened his hold on Adam and leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss was full of passion, the passion of love, not lust. It told Adam the whole story. Brendan loved him. The kind of love that meant no matter what the cost to oneself,

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the well-being of the other was paramount. Adam returned the kiss in kind; saying with his lips and body that he understood. Once more the incredulity of his situation washed over him. In a few short weeks he had gone from super stud, hetero quarterback to gay NFL player and on to being a man who was loved to the extent that his well-being was worth the sacrifices of the one who loved him. And, to some extent equally unbelievable, was that he loved Brendan in the same way. In the real world, the world outside the NFL, this was a totally wonderful thing. But inside this world what would it mean? “Brendan,” Adam hardly knew how to phrase his question, “you can’t just not play me when our teams meet. I mean, you have to make plays on me just like any other quarterback. It probably cost the Cyclones another shot at the championship. What’ll happen next year when we play each other?” “We won’t.” “We won’t what? Play each other? We’re scheduled to do just that next season…twice at least if you don’t count the possibility of playoff games.” Brendan smiled. “Oh, my sweet, unimaginative man.” he said and kissed Adam. “My contract is up. I’m gonna claim free agent status. I’ll have Vern, my agent, shop me to the Mustangs. We’ll play on the same team.” “Just like that?” Adam said, astounded at Brendan’s ability to make the improbable seem logical. “Just like that!” Brendan replied. “They’ll snap me up quick. I’m a hot commodity or hadn’t you noticed?” he said in his sexy, sultry voice. “Oh, yeah…I had noticed,” Adam said, shaking his head as he leaned in to kiss this wonderful hunk. “Come on,” Brendan said, pulling Adam to his feet and heading for the bedroom. “We’re gonna celebrate my new contract with the Mustangs. Oh, by the way, I found a way we can be tested,” Brendan added as he laid Adam down on the bed. Adam laughed. “You’re impossible,” he said, wrapping his legs around Brendan’s waist and awaited the moment of union.

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Chapter 5 Adam got out of the elevator at his apartment. He was carrying a box marked priority mail. He was puzzled when he looked at the return address: MLSC Inc. What the hell is this? I didn’t order anything from…His cell interrupted his thoughts. “Hello?” “Hey, stud!” came the now familiar voice of his lover. “Did you get yours? I just got mine.” “Brendan, what the fuck are you talking about?” asked Adam, still studying the box he carried. “Our anonymous HIV testing kits. Did you get it?” “Oh…Yeah I think so. I just picked up the mail and got this box from MLSC…” “That’s it!” Brendan fairly shouted into the phone. He sounded as excited as a kid on Christmas morning. “Open it and do your test. I’m gonna do mine.” Adam fumbled with his keys, box, phone and the rest of the mail as he tried to open the door to his apartment. He laughed. “Okay, okay. I just got home from practice. I do have this little Divisional Championship game coming up, ya know.” “Yeah I know,” Brendan replied. “But this won’t take long and we’ll have the results in a couple days. How’s preparations for the game comin’ by the way?” “Good,” Adam said hesitantly. Actually he was having a hard time concentrating. He missed Brendan. Somehow the linebacker’s declaration of love had moved all other concerns, even those as important as preparing for a game this big, to the back burner. He didn’t want Brendan to be concerned with that. He changed the subject. “How’s this thing work? How is it supposed to be anonymous? ” he asked, laying his keys on the entry hall table and heading for the living room where he sat on the couch and examined the box. “There’s a code number inside and a toll free number. You call the 800 number and give ‘em your code. Then when you send

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in the kit they don’t know who it’s from. Call the number again in a couple days, tell ‘em your code and that’s it. We can know by the end of the week…then no more fuckin’ rubbers. I’ll be able to feel you inside me and I’ll feel the inside of you. I can’t wait.” Adam smiled. This man-child he was in love with was something else: a mountain of a man with the soul of a kid. “We leave for Atlanta day after tomorrow for the game. I’ll try and do this tonight and—” “Adam…don’t just try, do it…it’s simple!” “Okay, okay keep your pants on,” Adam laughed. “That’s the point, babe. I don’t want ‘em on. I want to be with you totally.” “All right, Bren. I’ll do it right now.” “Call me when you’re done. I’m gonna do mine now, too.” They hung up and Adam opened the kit. The instructions were fairly simple. Getting up he went into the bathroom. A while later he was done; his blood sample was in the return mailer and he had called in his code. He would wait a few more minutes to call Brendan. While he waited he sat down, leaned back against the cushions of the couch and switched on the television. The national news was on. The anchor was in the middle of a report on gay teenagers committing suicide due to bullying. “At the same time they are trying to deal with all the challenges of being a teenager, gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender teens also have to deal with harassment, threats, and violence directed at them on a daily basis. They hear anti-gay slurs such as ‘homo’, ‘faggot’ and ‘sissy’ every day. Even more troubling, a study found that thirty-one percent of gay youth had been threatened or injured at school in the last year alone!” Adam sat up and listened. “Gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. In the past few months several teenage boys have committed suicide. It appears all were bullied by classmates because they were suspected of being gay. In one case the boy was targeted because he ‘looked like’ he was gay when in reality he was not. This targeting of these teens needs to be addressed.

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Homophobia in the U.S. seems to be being fueled by…” The news anchor went on to list the causes of hatred for homosexuals, but Adam had ceased to pay attention. His mind had turned instead to his own situation and that of his lover. They were in one of the most homophobic arenas of all: the National Football League. He realized he had been lulled into a false sense of security by the love he now had for Brendan, and Brendan’s confident laissez-faire attitude toward the prospects of being exposed. Adam felt for these young people who were being terrorized by their fellow students. He grieved for those that had taken their lives because of it. But, he also was reminded that he and Brendan were in danger as well. It could be bodily harm but definitely it was in terms of their careers. Gay men didn’t survive in the NFL. Adam turned and looked at the mailer on the end table. It contained his blood sample to be tested so he and his male lover could become even more intimate. He thought of Brendan’s plan to get himself hired by Adam’s team so they could be together. Was this complete insanity? Was he headed for a kind of professional suicide himself? At almost the same moment he realized he had come too far to turn back now. He was gay. He knew it. He couldn’t return to pushing those feelings and urgings under the covers. But more importantly there was Brendan: big, handsome, self-assured, impractical, juvenile, but totally wonderful Brendan. And he loved him, loved him as he had never loved anyone or anything before. Loved him enough to face what ever lay ahead for them. He picked up the phone and dialed Brendan’s number. **** “Get the fuck outta here you fuckin’ faggot, or I’ll bust your fuckin’ faggot face in!” Ashanti yelled at Adam. “Yeah, get outta my sight. I never took you for a fuckin’ queer, Davis,” Dean said as he spat in Adam’s face. Adam jerked awake. He looked around. The drone of the jet’s engines and Brendan’s even breathing brought him back to

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reality. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as the dream faded. He took a deep breath and turned to look at the peacefully sleeping linebacker beside him, head lolling to one side against the backrest. Adam took another deep breath. They were on the plane headed for Hawaii and the Pro Bowl with the NFC team, coaches and families of those players who were married. The NFL provided chartered jets as some of the players were so big-bodied that flying commercial—even in first class—was not an option. The teams had met in Los Angeles for the pre-flight briefing. Brendan had signed them up to room together. This had caused Adam some anxiety as Dean had remarked that the two seemed to have become pretty good buds, hanging out and eating meals together. Adam thought about the evening before at dinner. When they were ordering their meals Brendan had suggested they order two different entrées and share. The handsome young waiter had smiled and said, “Gosh, two famous NFL players doing just what my boyfriend and I do. I can’t wait to tell him. He says only gay guys do that.” Brendan had merely laughed at Adam when he brought up these concerns: especially about rooming together. He reminded Adam that, other than the married guys, most of the single players or those who weren’t bringing family signed up with a roommate. Adam agreed he was just being silly, but he couldn’t shake the worries that had followed him since hearing the report on bullying on the TV. The other thought that plagued him was he hadn’t played his best in the Divisional Championship game. They’d lost. Adam couldn’t get beyond thinking that somehow he had subconsciously blown the game so he could be with Brendan in the Pro Bowl. After all, hadn’t Brendan confessed his relationship with Adam had affected his performance in their playoff game? Yes, Brendan had assured him that once the season was over he would acquire free agent status; he would be picked up by the Mustangs and they would play on the same team. But Adam didn’t have Brendan’s bravado and optimism. Adam wasn’t convinced that that could be accomplished so easily.

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What then? How would they carry out this affair living in two different cities, playing for two separate teams? The nature of their relationship was sure to be discovered. None of these things had seemed to matter so much the night before in the hotel room. They had received the results of their HIV tests: both were negative. Adam had been able to feel the warm moistness of Brendan’s chute, skin-on-skin, for the first time. At that moment nothing seemed to matter except that he was intimately joined to this man, as intimately as any two men could be, and he loved him more than ever. And when Brendan came inside him and he felt the warm fluids pulsing from his lover into his body, thoughts of homophobia and fears of reprisal were the farthest thing from Adam’s mind. Afterwards, as they lay together in the wonderful glow of love motivated sex, even Brendan’s suggestion that Adam spend the off-season at Brendan’s ranch in Texas seemed entirely plausible, desirable, a wonderful idea. Thoughts of spending leisure days together riding, herding cattle and playing cowboy piqued Adam’s imagination. Of course he had never been on a horse, but he trusted Brendan would teach him. After all, it wasn’t so long ago he’d never ridden a hard, throbbing cock, and Brendan had taught him to do that and do it well. All this had reminded Adam of that movie Brokeback Mountain and had made him smile. As Adam watched Brendan sleeping peacefully beside him on the jet, he recalled how the movie had ended tragically. Was there tragedy ahead for them as well? Dean’s and Ashanti’s scathing curses from his dream blocked out the wonderful blissful thoughts of a life shared with Brendan and… Adam slumped in his seat. Closing his eyes, he let the drone of the big jet’s engines finally lull him into a fitful sleep. Just as he drifted off, he felt Brendan’s hand cover his as it rested on his thigh. He pulled away. ****

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“Any truth to the rumor that Brendan Fletcher is shopping himself to the Mustangs now that he’s a free agent?” the reporter asked Adam during practice for the Pro Bowl. The two men stood on the sidelines watching as the NFC offense and defense scrimmaged against each other. The practices for the NFL’s all star game were pretty laid back. Yes, both conferences wanted to win, but in reality this game was just a good-natured pick-up game between friends. It was a reward to the greats of the sport, an honor bestowed on those gladiators who had wowed their fans during the season just completed. “You’d have to ask him,” Adam replied, not turning to face the inquirer. “I did. He just winked and didn’t say anything,” the journalist pressed. Adam turned to face him now. “Why would you think I’d know anything about Fletcher’s plans?” Adam purposely used Brendan’s last name not wishing to give any impression of personal friendship. “Word has it that you two are bosom buddies,” the sports writer said. “They said if anyone’d know, you would.” “Who said?!” Adam returned more forcefully than he intended. “Hey, don’t get all ruffled,” the reporter said with a laugh. “I can’t reveal my sources.” “Then your ‘sources’ don’t know what the hell they’re talkin’ about. Brendan Fletcher doesn’t confide his plans to me,” Adam said, again more emotionally than he wanted to. Adam cursed his stupidity as he turned and walked away. The newsman followed him. Probably gave him more soundin’ off like that than if you just answered his fuckin’ question, Adam chastised himself. He looked out onto the field just in time to see Brendan intercept a pass and get tackled as he tried to run it back toward the offense’s goal line. Adam winced and felt a wave of relief when Brendan jumped quickly to his feet, celebrating his achievement. Another way this relationship is affecting me. Davis, you

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can’t let people see you get all worried about him gettin’ hurt, Adam told himself. The whistle blew. Practice was over for the day. Much to Adam’s discomfort, Brendan trotted over toward where he was standing, the reporter still by his side. “Hey B..” Oh, God! Don’t call me babe! Brendan glanced at the reporter, “Bud,” he finished, flashing the journalist his most brilliant smile. “I was just asking Davis here about your free agency and playin’ for the Mustangs next year. Anything you’d like to tell me?” Brendan laughed and said, “Not right now…we’ll let you know when we have something to announce.” He reached up and ruffled Adam’s hair. Adam gritted his teeth. The gesture wasn’t lost on the reporter. He smiled slightly, raised an eyebrow and looked from one man to the other. “Interview’s over,” Brendan said, still smiling. “Come on, Adam, race you to the showers.” Holy shit! Adam thought as he turned and jogged toward the locker room following Brendan. He glanced back over his shoulder to see the inquisitive news man scribbling on his notepad. **** Later that night, in their room after the team dinner in the hotel banquet hall, the men sat on the bed leaning against the headboard watching the evening news. Brendan rolled toward Adam and ran his hand down his torso. He slipped it under the waistband of the sweatpants Adam was wearing and began to run his fingers through Adam’s lush ginger bush. Brendan kissed Adam’s shoulder and whispered, “What’s wrong?” “Wrong? Nothing’s wrong,” Adam answered, not turning his attention away from the screen. “Oh, I think there is,” Brendan persisted, still nuzzling Adam’s chest and beginning to massage his balls. “Come on, tell me.”

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Adam shifted slightly. A soft moan escaped his lips as he hardened beneath Brendan’s touch. He put his hand on the back of Brendan’s head and pressed it against his nipple when Brendan began to suck the nub. “It’s…it’s nothing…nothing.” Brendan stopped his caressing and fondling and sat up. He leaned forward and kissed Adam lightly and said, “I know you well enough to know it’s something. Come on, out with it or that’s all the nooky you get tonight.” “I know you well enough, too, you horny bastard. I know you don’t mean that,” Adam retorted, pulling Brendan in and trying to kiss him. “No, you don’t.” Brendan sat up and pulled playfully away. He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Come on, Adam. I know you’re upset about something. You just don’t seem yourself.” Adam sighed deeply, put his hands behind his head and leaned back against the headboard. “It’s just…well…” he didn’t quite know how to put it so he wouldn’t hurt Brendan’s feelings. “…you kind of scare me when you…” he stopped, thinking. “When I what?” Brendan prompted. “When you’re so…” He wanted to use the word ‘careless’ but searched for a better one. ‘Flip’ and ‘lackadaisical’ flitted through his mind but he rejected them, too. “…So open…” he decided upon. “…Open about us in public.” Brendan creased his brow as if contemplating this and leaned against the headboard next to Adam, but didn’t say anything. Adam bit his lip and then continued. “I mean like today, you practically put your arm around me and told that reporter ‘we’ would let him know when ‘we’ had something to announce. Like we’re gonna announce we’re getting married or something.” “Wouldn’t that be great?” was Brendan’s enthusiastic reaction. He turned to Adam, “If we could, would you?” “What?” said Adam, confused. “Would I what?” “Marry me, of course,” Brendan continued, kneeling and turning to Adam, his semi-hard dick at Adam’s eye-level. “Brendan! I don’t believe you!”

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“You mean you wouldn’t?” Brendan sank back on his haunches, clearly disappointed. “I didn’t say that,” Adam said, shaking his head. “Then you would?” Adam sighed, “I…I…Brendan the point I’m trying to make is you seem to want people to discover what’s going on between us. That scares me. If anyone found out…if it went public we could be ruined, our careers would be over, and our lives might even be in danger.” Brendan returned to his position against the back of the bed. He didn’t say anything for awhile. Adam was about to say something apologetic when Brendan finally spoke. “I don’t know why I act like I do, say the things I do when we’re together in public. I guess I’m just so happy to be with you. To have found someone who means this much to me.” He paused and Adam turned to look at him. Brendan had tears in his eyes and swallowed hard. “I used to sleep around a lot. All it was about was sex. Just get your rocks off and keep on going to the next guy. That’s what I thought it was gonna be with you…but…” Brendan had turned to face Adam. “…I fell in love with you. There isn’t gonna be a next guy.” Adam reached out and rubbed Brendan’s cheek. Brendan covered Adam’s hand with his own, took it and kissed it. “It just feels so right when we’re together that I forget what the world thinks about guys like us. In some way I do want the world to know what a wonder you are, what a fuckin’ great thing it is for us to have each other. I’m sorry. I guess I just don’t think about the consequences. I’ll try to be more careful. I promise. I don’t want you to be scared. I just want to love you.” Adam smiled, pulled his man toward him and kissed him with all he had. He felt love like he had never felt before. He felt if someone walked in the room right then and caught them it wouldn’t matter to him at all. All he wanted was to show Brendan he loved him as much as Brendan did him. They broke the kiss. Brendan looked into Adam’s eyes. “So, does that mean you will?”

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“Will?” Adam asked. “Marry me?” “You’re impossible,” Adam said, pulling Brendan down on top of him. “Yes, I’d marry you. If there was any fuckin’ way we could pull that off…yes I would.” “Yah-hoo!” Brendan shouted. Then he took Adam in his arms and kissed him. This time the kisses were slow, soft and full of quiet emotion. Despite the gentleness of their caresses there was no doubt as to the effect it was having on both of them. They were fully erect and Adam could feel the desire he was experiencing reflected in the way Brendan was responding to him. As they continued to kiss Adam let his hands roam over the muscular body of the man that was now his lover…and in some way…his fiancé. It felt different somehow, in a way he couldn’t quite explain even to himself. It was almost as if this man were an extension of himself, not a completely separate entity. The thought of their being married excited him, increased his physical as well as his emotional response. He didn’t understand how that was possible but he accepted it, surrendered to it. Adam felt Brendan reach around him and begin to probe his pucker. He shuddered. He wanted union more than anything just then; to express physically what he was feeling emotionally. He sensed his reactions were mirrored by his partner. The way Brendan was approaching him was quantitatively different. Brendan’s fingers gently kneaded Adam’s hole, opening it, making it ready. All the while their kisses never ceased. Tender probing of tongue on tongue, caresses of lips on lips, expressed the love that was flowing between them. Adam rolled Brendan on his back and straddled him, never once breaking the connection between their lips. He reached behind himself and took Brendan’s hard cock in his hand. It was moist with pre-cum. Adam smeared the slippery fluid around the head and down Brendan’s shaft. Then Adam pressed it against his hole. The slow entry was all that Adam had hoped for. Brendan arched upward as Adam pressed down. Slowly the turgid organ slid into the confines of Adam’s body until he was fully

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seated in the lush growth of dark pubic hair at its base. Still kissing Brendan, Adam began a rhythmic rocking. Brendan’s cock slid in and out. He moaned softly into Adam’s mouth. “Yes, yes,” Adam whispered back through lips pressed against Brendan’s. “I want you to be one with me in all things, in every way possible.” Brendan nodded his agreement as the intensity of their union increased. Brendan sat up and Adam wrapped his legs around him, their oral and anal connections never breaking. Adam’s dick rubbed against the rug of hair on Brendan’s stomach. He tightened his grip around Brendan’s shoulders as his climax began. Adam pumped volley after volley of warm cum onto his lover. As Adam’s peak passed, Brendan’s began, and Adam could feel the throbbing of the cock inside his body as he was filled with the seed of his man. Brendan lay back down, pulling Adam onto his chest, their union still intact. Adam didn’t know if he were dreaming or if it were just his imagination, but two wisps of mist seemed to rise from their united bodies. The wisps spiraled around each other as they ascended. Adam had the sense that these were their spirits uniting as had their bodies and that in some way, forever the two men would be one. After a time Adam rolled onto his side and lay beside Brendan. He felt totally filled, not only with Brendan’s cum but with his love. It had been different that night. Adam suspected Brendan had felt it too. Their exchange from earlier in the evening had moved things to a whole different level. Their love seemed more real, more permanent. Adam snuggled into his man’s shoulder and draped his leg over Brendan’s thighs. This was the kind of contentment he wanted; the kind of security he needed. “Let’s do it,” Adam said. “Hmm? Do what?” Brendan asked softly, as if Adam had pulled him back from the edge of sleep. “Spend the off season at your ranch,” Adam said. “That is if you still want to.”

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Brendan rolled over, apparently wide awake now, and faced Adam. “If I still want to? Hell, yes, I want to. Adam, that would be great. It’d be like we were married. Away from people, cameras. I can’t think of a better way to spend our vacation from football. You’ll love the ranch.” Adam laughed at the rapid transformation from sleepiness to full alert. “When do we leave?” Adam asked. “As soon as possible after the game,” Brendan replied, rolling over on top of his mate and pinning him to the bed. Adam knew he was in for a second filling of Brendan Fletcher that night.

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Chapter 6 The NFC won the Pro Bowl handily. Both Adam and Brendan had played well. Adam, when his turn came to quarterback, threw for two touchdowns and had dived into the end zone for a third. Brendan had two interceptions and ran a fumble back for a touchdown which helped lead the conference to its lopsided victory over the AFC. Adam was named MVP and Brendan was named defensive player of the game. These accolades were sure to boost the star status of both men with the league and make Brendan an even more desirable prospect for the Mustangs. Maybe, Adam had thought, this playing for the same team idea would be a good thing after all. That subject had come up in every one of Adam’s postgame interviews. He tried to play it down saying Brendan could do a lot for his team’s defense and he’d be happy to have him. Brendan, trying to live up to his pledge to Adam that he be more careful about references to their relationship, had resorted to saying ‘no comment’ or ‘I plead the fifth’ whenever he was asked about playing for the Mustangs and being on the same team as Adam. In Adam’s mind this was even more telling than saying something vague about their playing together. It left too much to the imaginations of the sportswriters. There had been some discussion between the two men about flying together directly to Texas from Hawaii. In the end Adam convinced Brendan he really needed to go home and make sure his apartment was secured for the winter and to take care of necessary business duties so he could be free to enjoy his time on the ranch. Much to Adam’s relief Brendan agreed as it made him nervous to think of explaining to the press where the pair were off to. Then there was the situation with Brenda. During the hectic last few weeks of the season Adam had been able to put his girlfriend off with the excuse that practices for the playoff games and then preparation for the Pro Bowl were priorities. Now he felt he had an obligation to break off their relationship.

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Things had progressed to the point with Brendan that Adam knew he would never go back to being straight, and if all went well, his life with the linebacker would be the focus. He had taken Brenda out to dinner. She seemed to sense something was up as she was quiet during the meal; not her usual chatty self, centering conversation on her and what she had been doing while he was away, not once asking him anything about how his games had turned out. Later, back at her apartment, she had opened the discussion herself by saying, “You’ve got something to tell me don’t you?” The split had been amicable, although there was a tense moment when Brenda had asked, “Is there someone else?” Adam, caught off guard, had hesitated long enough to answer, so he wasn’t sure Brenda believed his denial of any other personal interests. All that behind him, Adam walked down the Jetway feeling very much the cowboy in his new clothes; black Stetson, plaid cotton shirt, Wrangler jeans and Ariat boots. However, despite the fact that they were far from any football hub, he wore a pair of sunglasses just in case he might be recognized. Coming out from the passengers’ only concourse into the main terminal, he saw Brendan. His heart sank and he could feel the color rising in his cheeks. Brendan wore a light jacket, khakis, a Cyclones cap and sneakers. “Hey, cowboy!” Brendan shouted. This only increased Adam’s embarrassment. Brendan ran up to him, gave him a huge bear hug, stepped back, put his hands on his hips and surveyed the sight before him; a big smile on his face. “I guess I’m a bit over the top, huh?” Adam said. “Hell no! You look great,” Brendan responded, reaching out to tap the big, oval Montana Silversmith buckle on Adam’s belt. “I’m the one not dressed up to code.” He gestured around him. Adam followed the hand. Most of the people were wearing jeans, cowboy hats and boots. This made him feel somewhat less foolish, but he still felt he had made a spectacle of himself. “Come on. Let’s get your gear,” Brendan said, placing his arm around Adam’s shoulder and pulling him in the direction of

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baggage claim. Adam allowed himself to be steered away with a minimum of self-consciousness as no one seemed to note the physical contact between the two men. Later, in Brendan’s Jeep Cherokee, Adam totally relaxed as they sped along the two-lane blacktop past the flat open plains of the south Texas landscape. Brendan’s hand rested lightly on Adam’s thigh. Adam covered it with his own. A feeling of contentment and freedom swept over him. He liked the sensation. This was different from anything he’d felt in all the times he and Brendan had been together. Even behind the closed doors of their hotel room Adam had never fully let the worry of being ‘discovered’ go. Here, for the first time, he did. It was a wonderful feeling. Brendan was telling him about his ranch. “It’s not really a working ranch like the ones around me,” he was saying. “To be honest it’s more like a petting zoo.” He laughed. “What do you mean?” asked Adam. “Well, I got a couple hundred acres or so, maybe closer to three. The real ranches got thousands. They raise beef cattle, herefords, angus, that kind a thing.” “What do you raise?” “He he,” Brendan laughed. “A little a this, a little a that. I got some cows but they’re a motley bunch. Most of ‘em half breeds. Even got some Brahma mixed in. Sell some a ‘em to the local rodeos for steer wrestlin’ and calf ropin’. And I got me some chickens and ducks. Horses a course. Whole herd a cats. And a bunch a dogs, gotta have dogs. Even got a pigeon loft. And, oh, yeah, Waldo.” “Waldo?” Adam queried. “Yep, Waldo and his wife Josie. He’s ma watch goose.” Adam had noticed as they drove along how Brendan’s accent was becoming more Texan. “Watch goose?” Brendan laughed again. “You’ll see.” Adam had a thought that made the freedom he was experiencing retreat a little. “Who takes care of the ranch while you’re gone so much?”

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“Gene and Roy handle the animals …” Images of the cowboy movie stars of the nineteen forties and fifties popped into Adam’s head. Smirking, he asked, “Do they sing, too?” “They’re better at handlin’ the animals,” Brendan chuckled. “…and there’s Maricia. She takes care of the house.” Adam thought for a moment, then said, “What are they gonna think of …us?” Brendan laughed, reached up and pulled Adam into a quick kiss as they rode along. “Gene and Roy’ll say, ‘Bout time.’” Adam looked at Brendan, puzzled. “They’re a couple, Adam…they’re gay. Been together nearly thirty years I think. They been after me to show my true colors for a long time. But they understand how it is in the NFL.” “Huh,” Adam snorted, amazed. “How’d you meet them?” “They came with the ranch. They were workin’ for the guy I bought it from. He split off my acreage from his place. They just stayed on when I took over about three years ago. I had ma house and barns built. They supervised the work while I was gone playin’ football. They’re really nice guys. You’ll like ‘em.” “And Maria …ah…Maric? Sorry can’t remember her name.” “Maricia? She’ll be her quiet self. Just goes about her business without much fuss. She lost her husband a few years back and Gene and Roy hired her for me. She don’t seem to be concerned about the guys, so I don’t think she’ll worry herself too much ‘bout us either.” He leaned over and kissed Adam again. The peaceful feelings returned. Adam leaned back and watched the flat Texas landscape pass by, his hand on Brendan’s thigh. **** The Cherokee turned off the highway and passed under a traditional Texas gate to the ranch. Adam smiled as he read the words on the cross beam. “Needs a Name Ranch. Needs a Name?” Adam said aloud. “What’s with that?”

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“Just what it says,” Brendan replied. “I just can’t seem to come up with the right name for the place. Been tryin’ since I bought it. Nothing jumps out at me.” Adam returned his attention to the scenery. Once on the two track on Brendan’s property his excitement began to rise. Behind the barbed wire fences on either side of the long lane were groups of cattle and clusters of horses. It interested Adam that the animals were all in the same field but they seemed to band together with their own species. It reminded him of the way football teams cliqued with offenses and defenses sticking together socially. And, he mused, straights and gays. Brendan was right. His cattle were a motley bunch. The herds they had passed on the way to the ranch were uniform in breed. Here the cows could be any of a range of colors and shapes; the Brahmas standing out from the others with their floppy ears and humped backs. The horses on the other hand, while exhibiting much color variety, were similar in confirmation. Brendan had said they were quarter horses. He seemed to be proud of his herd and spoke with relish of the champion blood lines represented. His listing of the famous stallions that had sired them was lost on Adam, but Adam listened politely and made appropriate appreciative murmurings. The long, straight drive ended in a turn-around in front of a long, low ranch style house. Although Adam could tell it had been recently constructed, it was built to resemble a weathered bunk house. Beyond the house itself Adam could see several out buildings. Chickens could be seen scratching for insects in the yard. Like the cattle, they were a variety of breeds and colors. Adam smiled at the pastoral scene. He breathed a deep sigh and turned to Brendan. Brendan leaned across the seat and kissed him. “Welcome to Needs a Name Ranch,” he said. Adam kissed him back and drawled, “Happy to be here, pardner.” “Come on. Let’s get settled and I’ll show you around.” Adam opened the door of the Cherokee and swung out. He stretched and once more surveyed his quiet surroundings.

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Suddenly, without warning, a God-awful honking ensued. Around the corner of the house, wings outstretched, came a huge grey goose. He headed straight for Adam; neck extended, making the tranquility vanish into chaos. Adam jumped back in the jeep and slammed the door. The bird skidded to a stop outside the vehicle and continued its raucous bellowing. A second goose came around the house, this one much more sedate and refined, walking with a quiet elegance. Adam turned to see Brendan doubled over in laughter. He felt himself blush. He, the superstar QB, who faced the barbarian defenses of the NFL, had been forced into retreat by a bird! “That’ll do, Waldo,” Brendan called out, still trying to control his amusement. “His bark …or honk…is worse than his bite. Just stand up to him and he’ll back off.” Adam wasn’t too sure. He looked out the window at the gander and then back at Brendan. “Are you positive?” “Wuss!” Brendan chuckled. He walked over to Waldo, who had now been joined by Josie. “Okay, stud,” he said, “you jist calm down. This ’ere is Adam and he’s part of the family.” Adam opened the door and gingerly stepped out. The two geese backed up a few steps and began a sort of bowing dance. “Now they’re beggin’ for a hand out,” Brendan chuckled. “Go on, you two. We’ll tend to you later.” Just then the door opened and a short, plump dark-haired woman wearing a house dress and an apron appeared on the porch. Brendan bounded across the yard and up the steps. He picked the diminutive lady up and twirled her around. “Oh, Senor Fletcher,” she said in her Mexican accent which Adam thoroughly enjoyed, “Put me down. What will your friend think?” But she was laughing. Adam came up on the porch and took off his Stetson. “Adam, this is Maricia. Maricia this is Adam Davis.” “Welcome, Senor Davis,” she said, taking his offered hand and making a slight curtsey. “I hope you will enjoy your stay with us. If you will get your things, I will show you to your room.” “He’ll be sleeping with me,” Brendan said matter of factly. “Hope you didn’t go to too much trouble getting the guest room

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ready,” he added. Adam, now becoming accustomed to blushing, smiled weakly. Maricia looked from one man to the other, raised an eyebrow and smiled warmly. “Si, senor, as you wish.” She turned to walk away, but then stood on tip-toe and whispered something into Brendan’s ear, who nodded vigorously. Then she turned again to Adam. “Welcome once again, Senor Davis.” Adam acknowledged the greeting with a slight bow. As they walked back to the Jeep to get their belongings, Adam asked, “What did she say?” Imitating Maricia’s accent, Brendan said, “This is the one? No?” **** Brendan led Adam through the house to his room. Once there he dropped his bags, took Adam’s from him and kicked the door shut as he took Adam in his arms and pinned him to the wall, knocking his new Stetson to the floor. “I been waitin’ for this ever since I saw you walk down the concourse at the airport,” Brendan said, kissing Adam as he turned him and pushed him backwards onto the bed. Adam pulled Brendan down on top of him, held him close and returned the kiss with his own rising passion. Brendan stood up. He threw his cap to the floor, slipped off his jacket, unbuttoned and removed his shirt and stepped out of his shoes and khakis. He stood smiling down on Adam while rubbing his erect cock through his white briefs, a spot of pre-cum forming where the tip of his dick pressed against the fabric. Then he leaned forward and pulled Adam’s boots off. He bent and undid the big silver buckle, unbuttoned Adam’s jeans and slowly unzipped the fly. Adam raised his hips and Brendan slid the Wranglers off and deposited them on the growing pile of clothing on the floor. Adam was wearing boxers. His fully erect

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cock slipped from the pee slit and lay against his abdomen. Brendan knelt and took it in his hand. “Hi there, baby,” he said, addressing the organ. “You have no idea how much I missed ya and how glad I am to see ya now.” Brendan pulled the swollen member forward and licked the full length of it, taking particular pains to swirl his tongue around the engorged, glistening, red head. Adam groaned his pleasure and took hold of the sides of Brendan’s head, arching his back to enhance the pressure. “Like that do ya, cowboy?” Brendan asked seductively. “Oh, yeah, yeah,” Adam responded, thrusting himself against the man’s tongue and lips. “You’re gonna like this even better,” he said, placing the tip of Adam’s dick in his mouth before descending on it until his face was buried in Adam’s ginger nest. Brendan continued to lave and suck until Adam began to writhe and thrust. “No, no, ma man,” Brendan said, backing off. “That ain’t the plan for right now.” Adam lay panting. He felt the throbbing that preceded his climax recede. Brendan bent over him once more and unbuttoned his shirt. Adam sat up and Brendan added the garment to the discard pile along with his boxers. Brendan pushed his briefs down, kicked them off, then crawled onto the bed beside Adam. Brendan rolled Adam onto his side to face him. Brendan kissed Adam and caressed his cheek. “I am so fuckin’ happy you’re here.” “Can’t be any happier than I am to be here,” Adam said, returning the kiss. For a long time the two lay side by side, slowly undulating against one another, kissing and running their hands over their bodies. “Need you inside me,” Brendan said in a husky voice that expressed his desire clearly. Adam smiled, kissed Brendan once more and pushed him over on his back. Adam lay between Brendan’s legs and lifted them until he had access to Brendan’s brown, puckered hole. At first Adam licked and kissed the hairy ass cheeks, giving them occasional nips and bites. Then he plunged his tongue into

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Brendan’s hole. Brendan arched up and groaned his pleasure. Adam continued his assault on the sphincter until it was soft and open. He wrapped himself around so Brendan could reach his cock. Brendan used his spit to make Adam’s dick wet and slippery, mixing his saliva with the pre-cum that flowed from its tip. Kneeling up between Brendan’s legs, he positioned his cock and pressed. Brendan opened easily. Adam slipped in all the way until his red nest of pubic hair was pressed against Brendan’s balls, shrouded in their own tangle of dark thatch. Adam remained motionless for the longest time, simply staring down at the face of the man he loved, who smiled back at him. “Welcome home, cowboy,” Brendan said. Adam bent and kissed Brendan before beginning a slow rhythm which caused Brendan to close his eyes and utter soft ohs and ahs that indicated his pleasure. Bracing himself on his hands, Adam watched as his deepening strokes took Brendan farther and farther into the throes of sexual arousal. Every thrust elicited a grunt of gratification as the head of Adam’s dick pressed Brendan’s sweet spot. Adam felt his climax building. He reached down and grabbed Brendan’s cock. He stroked it in unison to his thrusts. Adam wanted their climaxes to coincide, wanted them to experience the ecstasy of orgasm together. Adam watched Brendan carefully. He could see his face contorting, his breathing getting irregular, his abs contracting. Brendan called out, “Oh, yeah, yeah, fuck, yeah.” Adam increased the speed of his thrusts. He felt his balls tighten, a tingle ran down the sides of his legs. He roared his pleasure just as Brendan arched up and began to spurt his juices over Adam’s hand and onto his chest. When the highs of pleasure subsided Adam lowered himself to lay on Brendan’s torso. Wrapping their arms around each other, Adam rolled to the side. They looked into each other’s eyes. “Really glad to be here,” said Adam as he kissed Brendan again.

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**** “And that there’s the cement pond,” Brendan said pointing to the swimming pool as he took Adam on a tour of the property. “You sure get into this hick character don’t you?” Adam said, laughing. Although to be honest Adam didn’t think Brendan looked anything like a hick. He had changed into his ranch clothes and looked every inch the handsome, hunky cowboy in his boots, jeans and cowboy hat. He wore a sleeveless flannel shirt which emphasized the linebacker’s massive upper arms and shoulders. No, this man was no hick. Adam sighed at the thought that he was his man. They walked down the lane to the barn. Waldo and Josie greeted them as they passed the pond where a dozen ducks were either swimming or resting quietly on the banks. This time Adam didn’t retreat from the gander’s advances, and the goose, his bluff called, did just as Brendan predicted he would and backed off. “You’re learnin’ fast,” Brendan remarked, placing his arm around Adam’s shoulders as they walked toward the barn. Adam felt again that warmth of freedom that came with being able to express themselves for who they were. “Haven’t met Roy and Gene yet,” he said realizing that when he did meet them they would be the first gay couple he had actually known in person, and it would be the first time he would be openly introduced as gay himself. The emotions these thoughts conjured were curious: a mixture of anxiety, happiness and a touch of fear. “They’re probably out mendin’ fence or tendin’ cattle or somethin’,” Brendan replied. “They’ll be along shortly, I reckon.” Adam chuckled at the cowboy persona comin’ out again and pushed Brendan’s hat forward over his eyes. Brendan laughed and affectionately squeezed Adam’s neck. They walked into the dimly lit structure. As soon as Adam’s eyes adjusted he saw they were in a stable. The long aisle was lined with stalls on either side. Two or three horses hung their heads out of the Dutch doors and nickered as the men entered. Brendan walked up to the first and patted its nose and

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rubbed its neck. “This is Betsy,” he said affectionately. “She’ll be your horse while you’re here. She’s gentle as a lamb.” He turned to the side inviting Adam to come up and pat the sorrel as well. Adam walked up to the mare. “Hello,” he said and raised his hand to pet the velvet muzzle with its white blaze. She lowered her head and pressed it into his chest. “She likes you,” Brendan mused. “Well, we’ll see how long that lasts when I try to ride her. I don’t know a thing about horses or riding.” “Oh, I don’t know. You ride me pretty well,” Brendan said with a chuckle. Adam smiled. Brendan walked further down the aisle, stopping before a big black. “This here’s Diablo. He’s the one I ride most. He’s one of ma stallions, daddy to a lot of my stock.” “Diablo? Doesn’t that mean devil in Spanish?” Adam said as he left Betsy’s stall and walked to where Brendan stood stroking the big black horse. “Yeah, it does,” Brendan responded, “but he’s anything but. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. Named him that from a book I read when I was a kid. The horse in the story was black and had a white star, just like this guy.” Adam smiled at the thought of this big man who mowed down opponents on the ball field as a kid reading books about horses. He realized he knew little of Brendan other than his life in the league. This was going to be good for them: getting to know each other outside the world of football. Just then a raucous barking interrupted his musings and made him turn. Three dogs came hurtling through the door at the far end of the barn and headed for the men. Brendan dropped to one knee and was engulfed in a swirling mass of fur, barks and lickings. Adam stood and watched as the man and dogs exchanged their greetings. Brendan got to his feet and the three canines turned their attention to the new man on the block. The largest of the three pushed his way between Adam’s legs while

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one of the others jumped up and tried to lick his face. The third sat quietly, head cocked to one side, tail wagging furiously, as if to say ‘I’m patient; I’ll just wait my turn.’ Brendan laughed. “The big guy between your legs is Reggie. He’s a Border/Newfoundland mix. He wants you to scratch his butt.” Adam laughed and obliged. The big black and white dog stamped his hind feet in appreciation. “This lady, tryin’ to give you kisses is Scarlet. Down!” he commanded and the brown and white pup dropped and sat obediently. Adam extricated himself from Reggie, bent and petted Scarlet’s head which caused Reggie to woof in protest at the secession of his share of the attention. “She’s a Aussie shepherd,” Brendan explained referring to Scarlet. “Pleased to meet you, ma’am,” Adam said, rubbing her head and getting his hand tongue-washed in return. “And this,” Brendan said with obvious affection, “is Shelly.” Adam didn’t have to be told of her breed. She looked as much a collie as Lassie. At the sound of her name she rose and stepped forward. Adam cupped her head in his hands and said, “You are a pretty lady, yes you are.” She half closed her eyes and sighed. Adam got to his feet, and Brendan came and stood beside him with his arm around his shoulder. “They’re all rescues. Gene and Roy found…” But before he could finish his explanation of the acquisition of the canines, another disturbance filled the aisle way. This time it was human. Two men dressed in full western regalia—spurs jingling loudly—came toward Brendan and Adam, arms outstretched shouting their greetings. “Brendan, you son of a bitch, you’re home,” shouted the taller of the two. His sun weathered, handsome face sported a white goatee. “Come ‘ere you maverick,” chimed in the second, shorter, huskier man who had a full salt and pepper beard and twinkling eyes.

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Brendan turned and trotted toward them. They wrapped their arms around each other in a three man bear hug and, much to Adam’s surprise, each gave Brendan a kiss full on the lips. He felt himself plump in his tight jeans. The men broke their embrace and turned toward Adam, who smiled. “This is Adam. Adam, Gene,” Brendan said, indicating the shorter man, “and Roy.” The two smiling ranch hands walked toward Adam. They stopped. Roy stroked his goatee. “Adam, huh?” “That’s what the man said,” Gene added. They exchanged glances—and with hands on hips, Roy still rubbing his beard—began to walk around Adam, looking him up and down appraisingly. “Hmm…a redhead,” mused Gene. “Always said you liked redheads, didn’t ya, Brendan?” Adam looked at Brendan, who smiled with amusement, leaning against Diablo’s stall, his arms folded across his chest. “Yep, they’re ma favorite all right.” He winked at Adam. The two men continued their prowling inspection. “Looks like he’s got a nice tight ass. Can you vouch for that?” Roy offered. “Sure can,” Brendan replied as Adam felt the color rise in his cheeks. “Looks like he’s quite a hunk,” Gene said. “That he is,” Brendan affirmed. By this time both men were standing in front of Adam again. “Welcome to Texas,” Roy said, sticking out his hand to Adam. Adam took it and was pulled into a firm embrace. “This one looks like a keeper,” Roy threw over his shoulder. Then, completely catching Adam off guard, he kissed him full on the lips. Gene came up and replaced Roy’s hug and kiss with his own. “Glad to have ya here. We been hopin’ Bren got ’im some sense and found hisself a pardner afore he got old and gray like us.” Adam looked from one man to the other and then at

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Brendan. He was completely overwhelmed by Roy’s and Gene’s greetings and was totally at a loss for words. He felt selfconscious at the men’s openness about their sexuality, but at the same time he experienced a sense of freedom that made him feel happier than he could ever remember. Roy turned to Brendan. “He sure is a pretty devil, but don’t he know how to talk?” At that they all broke out laughing, the dogs barked and Diablo whinnied. **** That night they all sat around the big trestle table in the dining room. All of them: the four men and Maricia, one big happy family eating dinner together. The dogs were stretched out on the hearth of the big stone fireplace that had been stoked to ward off the chill of the south Texas winter night. They regaled Adam with stories about the ranch, Brendan and life in Texas. Later, as Adam lay in bed after he and Brendan had made love, he stared at the ceiling and breathed a deep sigh. Brendan stirred slightly, his head resting on Adam’s chest, one leg draped over Adam’s. Adam played idly with Brendan’s dark curls then bent and kissed the top of his head. The NFL with its prejudices and threats seemed so far away. Here they were safe. Here they could be who they really were: two men who loved each other and wanted to spend their lives together. For now that could be the reality. But in just a few short months…Adam chose not to think about that now. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.

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Chapter 7 Adam had been on the ranch for a month and he loved every minute of his stay. Things had settled into pretty much a routine. They rode almost every day. Adam had become a fair rider. His initial trepidation at getting up on horseback was easily put aside. Betsy and Brendan proved to be excellent trainers. After just a few jolting jogs around one of the corrals, during which Adam clutched the saddle horn and felt as if his balls were being pounded by a meat hammer, he mastered the technique of rising slightly in the stirrups to ease the pressure on those sensitive male areas. In no time he and Brendan on Betsy and Diablo were exploring the far reaches of Needs a Name Ranch on their own, or sometimes accompanied by Gene and Roy, always in the company of Scarlet, Reggie and Shelly. They worked out in Brendan’s well-equipped gym. Despite being months away from the start of the next football season, as athletes whose jobs depended on physical fitness, daily weight training and aerobics were mandated. Of course these sessions often gave way to passionate sex on the weight benches and floor mats. This seemed to motivate them to use the gym regularly. Adam had even made peace with Waldo. In fact the big grey gander seemed to prefer the red-haired quarterback to all others on the ranch except maybe Maricia who was the primary caregiver for the resident fowl population. He would trail after Adam all over the ranch followed faithfully by Josie. Waldo complained bitterly when he was left behind if the men went on trail rides, into the house or when he was locked out of the fenced swimming pool. After all he was a goose and water was his element he seemed to be trying to explain to Adam. The hours spent in the heated swimming pool were particularly pleasing. When the warm Texas afternoon sun chased away the chill of midwinter, Brendan and Adam were there for a couple of hours most every day. Gene and Roy would often join them and teased Adam that the main reason he liked sunning poolside was Brendan’s application of sunscreen to protect the fair skin of the redhead. Adam didn’t argue too much

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with that assessment. Out of deference to Maricia they wore bathing suits. However, on those days when she went to town for supplies, or spent the weekend with her family, the men wasted no time in discarding the swim wear. At first Adam was uncomfortable and self-conscious especially when Gene and Roy were there. Both men, in addition to being in great shape for their age, were extremely wellendowed. More than once Adam was caught and razzed for staring at their ample equipment and sporting a semi-hard cock himself. After awhile this too became all part of the life as a gay man he was growing to appreciate more and more. One particularly warm afternoon when Maricia was away, the four men sat beside the pool taking advantage of her absence. Brendan dove in and was swimming laps. Adam decided to join him as he was getting a bit hot from the strong sun in the cloudless sky. For a time they swam from one end of the pool to the other, passing each other at the center. Adam would alternate swimming styles from crawl to breast, then backstroke. This lap he was swimming on his back, a kind of modified stroke with his hands at his sides and using a frog kick. He ran smack into Brendan, who seemed to be purposely standing in the middle of the pool so Adam couldn’t avoid running into him. “What the he…” Adam exclaimed, standing and turning to face the obstacle that impeded his progress. Brendan immediately took Adam’s head in his hands and kissed him. Adam wrapped his arms around Brendan, pulling him close and pressing their bodies together. Without breaking the kiss, Brendan lifted Adam by placing his arms under his legs, the buoyancy provided by the water making it an easy task. Adam folded his legs around Brendan’s waist, pushing his balls and rapidly erecting cock into Brendan’s dense bush of pubic hair at the base of his dick, which Adam could feel was already hard. Adam looked over to where Gene and Roy were sitting. They were watching but were talking to each other as though what they were witnessing was a perfectly normal occurrence,

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although Adam could see Roy was slowly stroking himself. He felt a little uneasy. Brendan began to slowly rise and fall in the water as the men continued to kiss and caress. The motion caused Adam’s dick to slide up and down pressed against Brendan’s abs. While Brendan massaged Adam’s ass cheeks, his erection slipped into the crack and slid the length of it. Adam’s passion rose as Brendan’s large rod moved back and forth through the valley between his muscular glutes. “Fuck me,” Adam pleaded. “Yes, sir,” came the immediate reply, “your wish is my command,” Brendan said as he kissed Adam again. Brendan released Adam’s right cheek and directed the head of his cock against Adam’s hole. The warm water, acting as a relaxant and lube, made entry easy and soon Adam was fully impaled on Brendan’s turgid organ. Brendan continued to bounce, pushing his cock deep into Adam’s body and causing Adam’s dick to slip up and down Brendan’s stomach. “Don’t go too fast,” Adam asked. “This is too good. I want it to last.” Brendan nodded and brought his lips against Adam’s. For fifteen minutes or longer the aqua-fuck continued. Adam was in heaven. Not only were the physical sensations of being united with his man in this manner exhilarating, but the emotions, brought on by the freedom of being outdoors, in plain view of the two men who sat watching at the side of the pool, were liberating Adam in a way he never imagined could happen. Adam felt his climax approaching. He tried to tell Brendan to back-off, but Brendan was kissing him so forcefully Adam knew he was close to his peak as well. Adam surrendered to the stimulation and felt the base of his spine tingle. He let go, his sperm gushing onto Brendan’s hairy stomach and into the warm water of the pool. Within seconds Brendan groaned and Adam could feel him throbbing inside him. After several hard thrusts, Brendan shuddered and pulled Adam hard against him.

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As the kiss released, Adam lay his head on Brendan’s shoulder. Brendan caressed the top of Adam’s head with his cheek and let out a deep sigh. Adam heard clapping. He looked up. Gene and Roy were standing at the side of the pool giving them a standing ovation. Both were fully erect. Quite an impressive sight, Adam decided, having never seen them in that condition before. Brendan laughed, as did Adam, only vaguely aware he felt no embarrassment. “Our turn,” Gene called out, and, taking Roy’s hand, they jumped into the pool. The action nearly swamped the younger men, but Brendan managed to keep his footing and the union with his partner. Adam watched as Roy lifted Gene in a similar fashion to that which he enjoyed with Brendan. Adam continued to watch as the two ranch hands gave a repeat performance of that which Adam had just been a participant. His dick was getting hard again. “Go for two?” Brendan asked beginning his aquaundulations once more. “Anything you say, pardner,” Adam replied, clenching his ass muscles. “Let’s race ‘em to the pass.” He kissed Brendan as he felt the man’s dick harden inside him. **** Adam sat on the couch in the great room of the ranch house watching the huge 72 inch HD television that was mounted on the wall in front of him. Brendan was stretched out on the sofa with his head on Adam’s lap, dozing. Adam idly stroked Brendan’s hair. Adam surfed through the channels. Nothing seemed to catch his attention. The satellite service Brendan subscribed to offered over two hundred channels. Adam had never understood why you needed that many options. He himself rarely watched TV and when he did it was usually either the major networks or the sports stations. He was slightly amused as he went through the guide and saw the listings of some of the more obscure offerings. He was surprised when he

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came across a ‘gay’ channel. However, a show about drag queens didn’t exactly capture his attention. He was just about to turn the set off and call it a night when he switched to a news channel he’d never seen before. “Tell us what prompted you to start the It Gets Better Project?” the interviewer asked the two men sitting across from him. “Well, we were really upset at the number of cases of suicide among the gay youth of this country,” one of the men replied. Adam sat up and took notice. “Bullying in general and bullying of gay kids in particular is becoming more and more of an issue,” the other man added. The man who had spoken first continued. “When I heard about the suicide of one of these kids, I thought ‘I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes.’ I wish I could have told him that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it does get better.” Adam shook Brendan. “Huh? What?” “Listen to this,” Adam said, pointing at the television. Brendan sat up. “What’s this about?” Brendan asked sleepily. “Just listen,” Adam said. The two men on the program were continuing to tell how they made a YouTube video to tell gay youth that no matter how bad it was now, if they just hung on a little longer, things would improve for them. They wanted to inspire them and give them hope. “The movement now has its own website and videos from over ten thousand people including celebrities, politicians, media personalities, athletes and even the President himself.” “Those that make the videos aren’t necessarily gay,” one of the men continued. “They come from all walks of life and just tell their personal stories of how they went through hard times, but life did get better for them.” Adam and Brendan watched until the segment was completed.

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Adam turned to his partner. “I wish there was something we could do?” he said, asking, rather than making a statement. “Did you have a hard time growin’ up?” Brendan asked. “No. Did you?” Adam replied. “Hell no! I was a super jock even back on the pee wee football team. I had the girls fallin’ all over me by junior high, and in high school I was the guy everyone wanted to be friends with. Mr. Popularity that was me. Bet it was that way for you, too, right?” “Well, yeah,” Adam said thoughtfully. “I was pretty popular because I was a football star in high school and college, but I wasn’t the life of the party like you were. No, I had it pretty good. I wouldn’t be much of an inspiration to someone who gets kicked around for being gay. My life story would probably only make ‘em feel worse. At least I wasn’t the kind of guy who did the kicking.” Brendan pulled away from Adam and sat with his head down, looking ashamed. “I was,” he said softly. “You were what?” Adam asked. “I was one of the guys that did the kickin’,” Brendan turned to Adam with tears in his eyes. Adam didn’t know what to say. “Please don’t hate me,” Brendan pleaded. Adam moved closer and put his hand on Brendan’s knee. “I couldn’t hate you,” he soothed. “Tell me about it.” Brendan let out a deep sigh and looked down again. “I knew I was gay from about thirteen years old. I had a couple a friends and we fooled around; you know, jerkin’ off to porn magazines, and stuff on the internet, racin’ to see who’d cum first that kinda thing. I knew I was more into it than they were. The guys in pictures and on the videos turned me on more’n the girls. I knew I was one of those kids they called a ‘queer’. So, to protect myself I became the macho jock man. I would make fun of all the dweebs. And if I found out a guy was gay …or even looked like he was…I made life a living hell for ‘im. I was so scared someone would find out about me I did everything I could to make sure no one would ever suspect. And I hated myself for it.” “But you’re not like that now,” Adam protested. “Off the field you’re one of the nicest, kindest guys in the NFL.”

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Brendan shrugged. “In college I fell in love. He was a TA who tutored the jocks so they wouldn’t be put on academic probation. He was handsome…and sweet. We spent a lot of time together. I really wanted to come out to him, to have some sort of relationship. But I was afraid. Some of the players discovered he was gay. They started to give him a hard time, did some pretty mean things to him. When I found out I stood up to them. In fact I kicked a little butt on his behalf.” Brendan half smiled then continued. “I realized then, cuz I got to know this man, this gay man, that it was just plain wrong to be the kind of jerk I had been in high school. One of those life changing moments, ya know?” “And you never…” Adam started. Brendan sighed again. “No, as much as I wanted to let him know I had feelings for him and would have liked to see where that would go, I was just too chicken.” “So, I guess neither of our stories would help these kids would they?” Adam said, leaning back on the couch and pulling Brendan into an embrace. “Nope, don’t think they’d be any help at all,” Brendan agreed as he snuggled deep into Adam’s arms. “And you don’t hate me?” he asked. Adam hadn’t seen this side of Brendan before: a vulnerable, soft side that needed reassurance and acceptance. “No, I don’t hate you. I love you and love you more for your honesty.” They sat for a long time just holding each other, each with their own thoughts about what they had learned that night. Brendan looked up into Adam’s face. “Whatcha thinkin’?” “Just wish there were some way we could help,” Adam said with a deep sigh. **** Adam, riding Betsy, was just a few yards behind Brendan and Diablo as they loped across the broad Texas plain. The sun was shining; there were only a few puffy, white clouds in the sky, and a slight breeze blowing. This should have been a perfect

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day. Yet, Adam was uneasy. The NFL draft was only a couple of weeks away. Usually free agents had been offered jobs by this time, but Brendan hadn’t heard from the Mustangs. His agent had called saying he had had offers from several other teams but, as yet, Adam’s team had not contacted him even though the agent had let them know Brendan was more than interested. Yes, Adam knew Brendan was an unrestricted free agent which meant there was no time limit on his being offered a job before his former team had the right to call him back. But Adam was worried. What if Brendan didn’t get an offer from the Mustangs? What if they had to play for separate teams this season? The thought of going back home without the prospect of the two of them being together made him feel very sad. He tried to shake off these thoughts. Then another worrisome idea came to take their place. Even if Brendan played for the Mustangs, they couldn’t live together. How would they explain that? They really couldn’t even room together when the team was playing on the road. Adam had always insisted on private accommodations which his star quarterback status afforded him. There was no way any change in that practice was going to go unnoticed…especially by Ashanti Peters, the team’s chief homophobe. He and Brendan would still have to sneak around to be together. Adam sighed deeply as he rocked gently in the saddle to Betsy’s easy lope. He looked at the broad shoulders and narrow waist of the rider in front of him. Brendan sat easy in the saddle and looked to be one with the black stallion. Adam thought of how happy he had been these last months here on the ranch. It had given him a new perspective on what life could be like for the two of them. It would be hard to give it all up when they had to go back for training camp in the late spring and summer. Maybe he shouldn’t have come to the ranch in the first place. Then he wouldn’t have known how wonderful it was to be with the one you love on a daily basis, to be free to love and be loved with no threat of exposure. No, that was foolish. Adam wouldn’t have missed this for anything. The joy he’d experienced here meant everything to him. No, this had been a good thing, this

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living as a couple. But…he still couldn’t quite shake his discomfort. Brendan had reined up and was waiting for Adam at the top of a small rise. Adam caught up with him and pulled Betsy to a stop. “Look,” Brendan said, gesturing at the panorama before them. Adam followed Brendan’s hand as it moved across the sweeping vista. From their vantage point they could see all the way to the horizon. The pale green of the grasses, the purple of the sagebrush, and yellows of the calico bush reminded Adam of watercolor paintings. In the sky a pair of raptors circled overhead. Brendan turned to him and smiled. “Ain’t this beautiful? Almost like heaven?” Adam nodded. Brendan looked away, back at the crested caracara as they glided on the thermals rising from the arid countryside. Adam took in his handsome partner as he sat on the magnificent black stallion, framed by the splendid landscape: his striking profile, muscular shoulders, deep chest and powerful legs. Adam’s heart swelled within him. Maybe we should just retire and stay here for the rest of our lives. The thought faded into the scene before him. Adam knew that wasn’t the answer. As appealing as the idea of leaving the world behind and hiding themselves away seemed to him, he knew it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. Was there an answer? “Come on, got somethin’ I wanta show ya,” Brendan said. He spurred Diablo and headed off down the low hill at a gallop. Adam clicked to Betsy who followed the big black as he led the way into the brush. **** Brendan stopped in a clearing beside a small lake. Around the shoreline there was a grove of trees. The sunlight glinted on the surface of the water and the wind made it sparkle like a million twinkling stars.

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Brendan dismounted. He held out his hand to Adam who followed suit. Brendan took Adam in his arms and kissed him. It was a gentle kiss, but passion lay just beneath the surface. When they broke, Brendan, continuing to hold Adam against him, looked around. “This is my favorite place on the whole ranch,” he said, his voice soft and full of emotion. “I come here often when I’m in Texas. I’ve waited until now to share it with just the right person.” He pulled Adam into another warm, loving kiss. “I guess you’ve figured out that that person is you?” Adam looked around. He could hear the call of birds. Looking up he saw a green bird with a blue head and a black throat on the branch of a river birch. Its song wasn’t pretty but it seemed to fit perfectly with the scene. It was a cheh-cheh-cheh followed by a twit-twit-twit, soft and gentle. Adam let his concerns of moments before dissolve into the feelings that now engulfed him, returning Brendan’s kiss. Brendan broke the embrace. He led Diablo to a grassy area and took off his bridle. The big stallion lowered his head and grazed on the lush vegetation that grew beside the water. Adam followed suit with Betsy. “They won’t run off?” Adam asked, not really concerned about the answer. “No, they’ll stay put. Not often they get rich, green stuff like this to eat. Almost as good to them as your lips taste to me.” Brendan walked over to Adam and took him in his arms once more. After a prolonged kiss, Adam turned away and Brendan wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close as they stood on the rim of the lake. Adam could feel Brendan’s manhood pressed through the fabric of his jeans against his ass. He covered Brendan’s hands with his own and pushed them down until they were caressing his slowly erecting cock. Adam leaned back against his cowboy while Brendan mouthed and kissed his neck. For several minutes they stood like this, just experiencing each other and the setting.

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Brendan broke the embrace and walked over to Diablo. He pulled a blanket and a bottle of wine from the saddlebag. Walking back, Brendan took Adam’s hand and led him to a clearing of grass among the trees. There he spread out the blanket, laid the bottle on it and began to undress. Adam stood smiling and watched. When he was completely naked, Brendan laid down on the Navajo patterned blanket, turned onto his side and started to open the bottle of wine. Adam stood for a moment taking in the sight of his handsome lover, anticipating the moments to come. Then slowly, savoring every second, he also disrobed and stretched out beside Brendan. The two men lay on their sides, facing each other, propping their heads up with their hands. Brendan took a deep draft of the wine and handed the bottle to Adam, who did the same. He handed the bottle back. Brendan pushed the cork back into the neck and laid it down. He pulled Adam forward and kissed him once more while at the same time pressing his body and fully erected cock against him. “Are you happy?” Brendan asked when he broke the kiss. “More than I have ever been,” Adam responded. “Then I am, too. My happiness depends on you,” Brendan said in a serious tone. ”You have become my life, Mr. Davis. I have no other life than that I live with you.” Adam closed his eyes and allowed the words to sink in. He held Brendan against him, letting himself fully experience the man he was loving more every second of every minute. How long had it been? It seemed an eternity but in truth it was just a few short months. Adam Davis had gone from thinking he was straight to discovering his true nature. He was a gay man, in love with a gay man for better or worse. This was now the reality. He wanted to ask, “What’s going to happen to us?” But he didn’t. He put those concerns aside and surrendered to the moment. For it was true, what the philosophers said, ‘the only reality is the moment in which we are living.’ Just then that was the only reality Adam wanted. This time it was Adam who pulled his lover close and kissed him.

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The two men continued to kiss and caress each other’s bodies, slowly exploring and rediscovering. Adam reached between them and cradled Brendan’s balls in his hand. They were firm, round and felt so good to his touch. He let his hand roam to the base of Brendan’s cock. Adam looked at Brendan who was watching his exploration, a slight smile playing on his lips. “It’s all yours. Do with it as you like.” Adam returned the smile and then his attention to the swollen organ in his hand. He ran his fingers up and down the shaft, tracing the veins and the crown of the head as it slid from beneath the hood of foreskin as Brendan became more aroused. With his thumb Adam smeared the clear, slippery pre-cum that oozed from the slit in the glans. Positioning himself so he was at eye level with the object of his attraction, he grasped the faintly pulsating organ and began a gentle stroking, sliding the foreskin back and forth over the head. Brendan shuddered and began to take up the rhythm, rocking slowly, making soft moaning sounds as he did. Adam rolled over on his back, pulling Brendan with him so he straddled Adam’s chest. Adam ran his hands up and down the firm ass cheeks and pushed Brendan forward. He licked the tip of the prize that stood rigid and proud before him. Slowly Adam engulfed it with his lips and slipped it into his mouth until his face was immersed in Brendan’s musky scented pubic bush. He backed off. Once more devouring the organ with his eyes, Adam became more and more aroused by the sight, smell and taste of it. He laved the underside with his tongue from tip to base. Pressing the stiff rod against Brendan’s abs Adam began to suck his lover’s balls, first one then the other, then both at once. Adam felt his own hard dick throbbing with the beating of his heart. This intimate amalgamation of his soul with the essence of maleness of his lover testified to the reality of his sexuality. He returned his ministrations to Brendan’s cock, this time with a purpose. Adam needed to taste and swallow the seed of his man. He massaged the powerfully built ass cheeks; he sucked the tumescent man rod; he pressed his muscular chest

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against the backs of Brendan’s legs. He wanted as much of Brendan inside him as he could, as much of Brendan in union with him as he could manage. Brendan was groaning with pleasure, thrusting himself into Adam’s mouth. Adam knew he was close, close to giving up his load. Adam massaged the underside of the ponderous cock with his tongue. Brendan stiffened and began pumping wildly. His tongue still against the tube on the underside of Brendan’s dick, Adam could feel the semen pulsating along its length and then exploding into his mouth. He sucked and swallowed, sucked and swallowed until Brendan was spent. Then without any hesitation Adam took a handful of semen mixed with spit, applied it to his cock and pushed Brendan backward until he was sitting, gored on Adam’s manhood. Adam sat up and wrapped his arms around Brendan. Brendan in turn wrapped his arms and legs around Adam. The two sat motionless, staring into each other’s eyes as intimately joined as two men can be. “I love you,” Brendan said simply. “And I love you,” Adam responded. They kissed. In one thrust Adam poured his seed into his man. They sat for a time wrapped in each other’s arms, until Adam softened and slipped out. Then they lay down again sideby-side, facing each other on the Indian blanket under the clear Texas sky. Adam rested his head on Brendan’s bicep. “Don’t you wish this could be forever?” Brendan asked, echoing Adam’s thoughts from earlier in the day. Adam didn’t say anything. He just buried his face in Brendan’s chest and held him close. **** Adam opened his eyes. It was nearly dark. Brendan was spooned behind him breathing deeply and evenly. He could feel his half-hard cock pressed against his ass. It felt good. Suddenly he realized where he was. And, it wasn’t in their big log frame

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bed at home. He was lying out on the ground, probably miles from the ranch. Adam heard a yip. He panicked. Adam rolled over and shook his sleeping partner. “Brendan, wake up…wake up!” Brendan sat up, “What? What’s wrong?” “It’s almost dark. Do you know the way back to the ranch at night?” “No,” Brendan said casually, “Why?” “No? What do you mean no?!” Adam shouted. Brendan laughed. “What the fuck’s wrong with you, man?! We’re out in the middle of nowhere and the wolves are howling and it’s getting dark and…” “There ain’t no wolves in Texas anymore.” Brendan laughed again. “Yes, there are! I heard ‘em just now.” The yip was repeated. “There! There it is again!” Adam said, getting to his knees and looking around wildly. Brendan chuckled and pulled Adam into his arms and back down onto the blanket. “Them’s coyotes. They’re more scared of you than you need to be of them. Come on, my big, brave quarterback. I’ll protect you.” Adam wasn’t sure. “What about the horses?” “Coyote ain’t gonna go after a horse. They’re after rabbits. Just lay down and enjoy the night.” “But if you don’t know the way…how’ll we get home.” By now Adam was feeling like a bit of a wuss. “The horses know the way. We’ll just give ‘em their heads and they’ll get us home.” “In the dark?” “Yep, horses have great night vision, and they’re better at finding their way home than a homin’ pigeon. Just relax and look around. Don’t it take your breath away?” Adam lay back against Brendan’s strong chest. Brendan wrapped his arms around him and stroked his stomach and pecs. Adam could see the silhouettes of Betsy and Diablo still grazing

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near the water. He looked up. Brendan was right; it took your breath away. Thousands of stars were appearing, while the sky turned from deep midnight blue to black as the sun fell below the western horizon. The sounds of night were starting, too: frogs and toads responding to the call of spring were singing; an owl hooted nearby; whip-poor-wills were calling from the brush. Fireflies with their flashing lights began to emerge, making it appear as if the land and the sky with its twinkling stars were continuous. As the darkness deepened the temperature dropped. Brendan reached back and flipped the blanket over them, pulling Adam even closer. He kissed the top of Adam’s head. Across the lake the big orange ball of the moon began to rise. Coyotes yipped again, but this time it didn’t bother Adam. He just smiled at his previous silliness. As the moon slowly climbed higher in the night sky it changed from orange, to pale yellow, to silver, casting a long finger like reflection on the calm surface of the water. Adam relaxed in his lover’s arms, thinking. He was far from home, in a beautiful place, not knowing the way back. It mirrored his life, his and Brendan’s. They were a gay couple. On the ranch they were also in a beautiful situation, safe and secure, just as they were here. But they were far from where they were going to be, back in the world of the NFL. Adam didn’t know the way back into that world, either, not as the gay man he now realized he’d was. He wished with all his might they would find a guide for what was to come, just as tonight they had Diablo and Betsy to bring them safely home. Adam was still dwelling on this comparison when Brendan said, “Time we were getting back. Gene, Roy and Maricia will worry.” Adam turned and kissed Brendan. “I love you,” he said, wanting in some way to let Brendan know how good this day had been. “Love you, too.” Brendan got to his feet and pulled Adam up beside him. They embraced once more. Adam looked around, regretting that this scene was going to fade in his memory. “Thank you,” Adam said.

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“For what?” “For this,” Adam said, gesturing around. “Ain’t from me, cowboy. Mamma Nature’s the one you should thank.” “Thank you, Mamma!” Adam yelled at the top of his voice. At the sound, the horses snorted and the coyotes yipped. The frogs and birds went silent. Brendan laughed. After a moment the night sounds re-emerged. “She says you’re welcome.” Brendan squeezed Adam’s butt. “Let’s go.” The moonlight provided ample illumination for them to find their clothes, stow the blanket and bridle the horses. They mounted. Adam took one last look around before Brendan clucked to Diablo, who started to move off back up the hill. Betsy followed. It wasn’t long before Adam was sure Brendan had been right. The horses moved with confidence, seemingly sure of their destination. As they rode along at an easy jog side-by-side, Adam felt his worries about their uncertain future rising again. “Brendan?” “Yeah?” “Aren’t you worried that you haven’t heard from the Mustangs?” No immediate answer was forthcoming. Adam was about to ask Brendan once more when he said, “Naw, they’ll come through. Don’t forget…it’s Brendan Fletcher we’re talkin’ about here.” Adam laughed at Brendan’s cocky reply, but couldn’t help thinking his hesitation at an immediate response didn’t reveal anything more about how he felt than what he actually said. Adam didn’t pursue it. He just rode along in silence. **** When Adam and Brendan arrived back at the ranch it was nearly midnight. As they approached the barn the dogs came running out to meet them, barking loudly. Adam could see Roy’s silhouette in the light that poured through the doorway.

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“We was just about to send the posse out after ya,” he called out. “We got sidetracked by the beauties of nature,” Brendan replied, swinging down off the big black horse. Roy chuckled. “Yeah, I know all about them natural beauties,” he said, winking at Adam as he led Betsy into the barn. They untacked the horses, brushed them and put them in their stalls. Roy had set out their grain and hay. Diablo and Betsy dove in as if they hadn’t eaten all day. As the men stowed the saddles and bridles in the tack room, Roy said, “Oh, yeah, almost forgot. Vern, uh, Vern… damn, I forget. Anyway he said he was your agent. Told me he tried you get you on your cell phone first. Said it was important and to call ‘im even if you got in late.” Adam looked at Brendan his heart skipping a beat. Brendan checked his cell. “Oh, battery’s dead.” “Brendan! Why didn’t you check it before we left?” Adam said. Brendan shrugged, and looked at his watch. “Don’t think he meant this late. I’ll call ‘im in the mornin’.” “It could be important…” Adam exclaimed. “It could be about your…” “Yeah,” Brendan said, coming over to Adam and putting his arms around his neck, “and if it is we can’t do nothing about it tonight. And if it ain’t we can’t do anything either. So we might just as well let Vern get a good night’s sleep and he’ll give me the good news in the mornin’.” “But…but…” Adam sputtered, wanting to know as soon as possible if a deal with the Mustangs had been struck. “I’ll take care a that butt a yours later. Don’t you worry,” Brendan said with a chuckle which was joined by Roy. Adam gave in. But, he couldn’t help feeling excited and anxious all at the same time. “Come on you two. Maricia left you some supper in the fridge to warm up if you want.” Roy turned and walked out of the barn. Adam and Brendan followed him to the house walking hand in hand. This

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could be it, Adam thought happily. By tomorrow mornin’ Brendan Fletcher could be a Mustang. But then what? They’d be on the same team, but the question of their relationship and how to handle it was still very much a mystery.

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Chapter 8 “And last, but certainly not least, let’s welcome to the team linebacker Brendan Fletcher!” the Mustangs’ head coach said concluding his introductions of new players at the team’s meeting to kick off informal spring training for the upcoming season. Brendan, who was seated next to Adam, stood and acknowledged the applause from his new teammates. Adam was relieved Brendan was being accepted so well. But why shouldn’t he be? Adam thought. He was a Pro Bowler, Super Bowl ring wearing player and would be an asset to any team. Adam knew his uneasiness was due to the secret that he and Brendan had: they were a couple, a closeted gay couple who played for the NFL. If word of that ever leaked out… He didn’t let his mind go there. Since they had returned from the ranch Brendan had moved to the city that held the Mustangs’ franchise. After serious discussion and much reluctance on the part of both Adam and Brendan it was decided they would have separate residences. Adam hated that, and he knew Brendan did, too. This arrangement meant a lot of sneaking around and missed opportunities to be together. Life on the ranch had spoiled them. That freedom was now gone. Adam missed it. He knew Brendan felt the same. They would see each other at practices but since they were on two different squads, and though they were on the field at the same time, they had very little contact with each other. Adam knew this pattern would continue later in the summer when training camps officially began. He didn’t see what could be done to change the fact that though they were now living in close proximity, their need for discretion forced them to live, what he now considered, a lie: pretending to be just friends when in reality they were so much more. They got together in the evenings several days a week. They spent the night at each other’s apartments but they did so surreptitiously. Adam always felt he was looking over his shoulder

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to see if anyone was watching, if anyone had seen him enter Brendan’s building, or Brendan his. They seldom went out and when they did it was usually in the company of other players. One night, Adam and Brendan—along with four or five guys from the team—left the restaurant where they had eaten dinner and passed a bar as they walked along looking for a place to have a drink. “How about this place?” Dean asked. “Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Ashanti said with disdain. “What? What’s wrong with it? Looks pretty nice to me,” one of the other guys chimed in. “It’s a fuckin’ fag bar, you idiot. You want to go in and be hit on and groped by a bunch of queer perverts?” Adam felt himself tense. “Maybe we should go in and see what they’re up to. Maybe get a chance to rough ‘em up a bit,” another player put in with a dirty sounding laugh. “Knock it off you guys,” Brendan said. “Live and let live. Come on; let’s find somewhere to have a drink.” “Freaks like that shouldn’t be allowed to live,” Ashanti said as the group moved off. “That’s what they used to say about blacks, too,” Brendan said. Ashanti whirled around to face Brendan. Adam froze. “You sayin’ African Americans and faggots are in the same category?” Ashanti shot back, anger clearly etched in his words. “All I’m sayin’ is attitudes change as we learn more about life.” “Well, God hates fags, Mr. Know-it-all,” Ashanti spat out. “Says so in the Bible.” “Some people say that the Bible also curses black men,” Brendan continued. Ashanti was livid, “Where it say that?!” “In Genesis. Some say that the curse the Bible says God put on Cain and the Curse of Ham, Noah’s son, makes it all right to hate the black man and to keep slaves. That was the excuse southern folk used to keep the black man in bondage,” Brendan

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continued calmly. Adam looked back and forth between the two men. “That’s fuckin’ shit,” Ashanti said, glaring at Brendan. “Them that thinks the Bible says that is wrong. They makin’ the Bible say what they want it to so they can hate blacks and say God says so!” “My point exactly,” Brendan said. “Now, think about what you just said about being gay.” “Being gay’s different,” Ashanti persisted but with less assurance in his voice. “Jesus says gays are a abomination!” “No, you’re wrong,” Brendan corrected. “Jesus never even mentioned anything about being gay.” “Well, it say so someplace, I know it do,” the lineman said stubbornly. “You’re right,” said Brendan brightly, “it’s right in the same place where it says if you eat meat and cheese at the same meal you’re an abomination. And, my friend, you had a cheeseburger for supper, so…” The whole group laughed. “Fuck you!” Ashanti said and walked off. “Let’s go find a place to have that drink,” said Dean, still chuckling. “Hey, Ashanti, wait up!” Adam walked next to Brendan and whispered, “Where did you learn all that?” Brendan laughed, “I’m not a complete heathen. Remember I grew up in Texas. They were part of the Confederacy you know. I went to Sunday School. They used the Bible to justify that white men were the superior race. Still do in some places.” Adam didn’t say anymore. Despite the coup Brendan may have scored with some in the group, he wasn’t ready to go too far in letting people in on their secret. **** It was late July. Training camp would officially begin in a week. Adam and Brendan had taken two weeks at the end of the

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informal spring and beginning of summer workouts to sneak off to the ranch. It had been wonderful for Adam to be back where he felt he could be himself, without fear or worry of exposure. They had made the most of their time in Texas, making love frequently, visiting the lake, swimming, riding and just relaxing. As the day of their departure came closer Adam felt a deep depression come over him. He wasn’t sure how he would face going back to the life of hiding and paranoia. One evening two days before they were to fly back home Brendan was out in the barn with Gene and Roy tending to one of the mares who was about to foal. Adam was on the computer. He was thinking about the It Gets Better organization and was listening to some of the videos on YouTube, and still wishing there was something he could do for kids who were being harassed for being gay. He ran across a reference to The Trevor Project. He Googled it and found several articles explaining how the project tried to help gay youth with a suicide prevention hotline and online counseling services. Too bad I’m not a teenager. I sure could use some advice, he thought. One article in particular caught his attention. It was written by a gay sports reporter. What he read nearly jumped off the page and made him sit up. It said: “What the gay community of this country needs is for some big name sports stars to have the courage to stand up and come out. We know they are out there. We have some entertainment celebrities and “B” list personalities who are out but they are often discounted because they are entertainers and their effectiveness as persons who can change society’s attitudes is diluted. I’m not saying their contribution is worthless, but what we really need is some well-respected super star athlete in a major sport like football or basketball to have the courage to be recognized as gay: someone whose reputation and abilities are proven, someone whose contribution to the sport cannot be disregarded, whose value to their team is such that it would be unthinkable to drum them out because of their sexual orientation. That would go a long way in breaking the gay

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stereotype, giving gay kids a role model and cracking the barriers to gay athletes in sports. We’ve done away with Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in the military. It is time we did it in the NBA, Major League Baseball and the NFL.” Adam read and reread the passage. All that the journalist said applied to him and to Brendan. He printed out the article, took it with him to their bedroom and waited. “Hey, baby,” Brendan said, coming into the room an hour later. He leaned down and kissed Adam, who lay stretched out on the bed. “That mare’s gonna wait a couple a days ‘fore she drops that foal. I’m sorry. Woulda liked to see what she’s carryin’.” He kissed Adam again and said, “Gonna shower. Wanta join me?” “No, I’ll just wait for you here,” Adam replied. “What! The honeymoon over already?” Brendan said with a laugh. “Actually, I think it may be about to begin,” Adam said. “Go take your shower.” Brendan scratched his head and shrugged. “You’re crazy,” he said laughing again. “I probably am,” Adam agreed. “I probably am. Go take your shower I’ve got something I want to show you.” “Okay, Mr. Mysterious. Be right back.” He bent and kissed Adam once more. Brendan dropped his clothes in a pile. Adam watched as the naked body of the man he loved was revealed. He looked at the paper lying on the nightstand. He took a deep breath. Fifteen minutes later, Brendan, with a towel wrapped around his waist, returned, still drying his hair. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Brendan asked, “Okay, now what’s goin’ on?” Adam handed him the printout of the article. “What is it?” “Just read it,” Adam said. He watched as Brendan read. At first the man had an expression of mild interest on his handsome face. That turned to

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deep concentration with a furrowed brow and lips drawn in a tight line. When he finished he looked at Adam and said, “Wow, that’s pretty heavy.” “What do you think?” Adam asked, rolling over and sitting up on the side of the bed beside Brendan. “Do I think he’s right? Hell yes!” “And?” Adam pressed. “And? And do I think we’re the ones to do this?” Adam put his hand on Brendan’s muscular thigh and squeezed. “Yes, are we? We meet all the criteria.” Brendan was quiet for a long time. He covered Adam’s hand with his own. Adam could see that he was considering what the article said, what Adam was proposing. After a while, Brendan said, “My daddy used to say, ‘if you don’t stand for something you believe in, then you don’t really stand for anything.’ I believe in us, the rightness of us and I believe in all the kids out there that we’ve been sayin’ we’d like to help in some way. I think we just found the way.” Adam took Brendan in his arms and kissed him. They settled back on the bed and lay face-to-face. “Ain’t gonna be easy,” Brendan said, staring into Adam’s eyes. “I love you,” Adam said simply. “And this is the right thing to do.” Brendan pulled him close. “Yep, it is.”

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Epilogue “So, Roger, any idea why Adam Davis and Brendan Fletcher called this press conference?” “Not a clue, Ed. But Fletcher’s such a showboat he’s probably going to predict with a quarterback that already has Hall of Fame stats and his credentials as a defensive mega star that the Mustangs will win the Super Bowl before the season even starts.” “Well, it looks like we’re going to find out in just a minute. Here they come.” **** Adam and Brendan walked onto the small stage against a backdrop of the Mustangs’ insignia. They each wore blazers with their blue and red number jerseys underneath. Adam felt they looked like gods from Olympus towering over the smaller men and women of the press corps who rose to give them a standing ovation. Brendan raised his hands and urged the audience to be seated. He and Adam sat in the two chairs behind the table. Brendan adjusted his microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen.” Under the table Adam pressed his leg against his partner’s. Brendan reached down and gave Adam’s a reassuring squeeze. As Brendan began his explanation for the press conference Adam looked out over the small crowd of reporters, some with eyes glued to Brendan, some scribbling notes on pads or typing into notebook computers. He thought of the suitcases in back of the stage, the airline tickets for a flight to Massachusetts in the pocket of his blazer and the rings in his pants pocket. He thought of the last words Brendan had spoken before they stepped out before the journalists and cameras. “I just thought of a great name for the ranch,” he had said. “What?” Adam had asked, wondering why, of all things, his soon to be husband was thinking about ranch names at a time like this. “It Got Better.” THE END

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ABOUT TERRY O’REILLY Terry O’Reilly is a retired school teacher living a quiet life in the Midwest with his three dogs and his horse. He began writing several years ago at the urging of a friend and fellow author. He has books available through several publishers, including Amber Allure Press, Aspen Mountain Press, eXcessica Publishing, and JMS Books LLC. Writing has become an important part of his life, allowing him to explore his own thoughts, needs, and feelings, as well as learn about other cultures and eras as he researches his stories.

ABOUT JMS BOOKS LLC Founded in 2010, JMS Books LLC is owned and operated by author J.M. Snyder. We publish a variety of genres, including gay erotic romance, fantasy, young adult, poetry, and nonfiction. Short stories and novellas are available as e-books and compiled into single-author print anthologies, while any story over 30k in length is available in both print and e-book formats. Visit us at jms-books.com for our latest releases and submission guidelines!