Heart and Soul

A Total-E-Bound Publication

www.total-e-bound.com

Heart and Soul ISBN # 978-1-906811-12-9 ©Copyright Ashley Ladd 2008 Cover Art by Lyn Taylor ©Copyright September 2008 Edited by Michele Paulin Total-E-Bound Publishing This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Total-E-Bound Publishing. Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Total-E-Bound Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution. The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork. Published in 2008 by Total-E-Bound Publishing 1 The Corner, Faldingworth Road, Spridlington, Market Rasen, Lincolnshire, LN8 2DE, UK.

Warning: This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This story has been rated Total-e-burning.

HEART AND SOUL Ashley Ladd

Dedication To my editor, my publisher, and my fellow awesome authors at TEB. I appreciate each and every one of you so very much, especially Michele for helping me to make my stories the best they can be, and to Claire for taking a chance on me and for all the wonderful things she’s done for all of us.

Trademarks Acknowledgement The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction: Applebee’s: Coors: Excel: Louisville Slugger: AAA: Speedo: Toyota: Twilight Zone:

Applebee's International, Inc. Miller Coors LLC Ltd Liab Co Delaware Microsoft Corporation Delaware Hillerich & Bradsby Co. American Automobile Association, Inc. Speedo International Limited Corporation United Kingdom Toyota Motor Company, Ltd. Corporation Japan CBS Inc. Corporation New York

HEART AND SOUL

Ashley Ladd

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Chapter One

The sun melted into the Ohio River, spiking it with reds and oranges, pinks and golds. It was a magical sight, one that made Mischa Bennett sigh with delight. A few stars already twinkled in the dimming sky, vying with the sun for supremacy. They reminded Mischa of the little cocktail diamonds that sparkled in her new engagement ring, the one her fiancé Steve Krashin had just given her the month before during a similar spectacular sunset. She loved the river, how it ribboned around the Ohio Valley between the tri-state area of Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana. She loved how the trees, full of their summer leaves, bowed low and drizzled their limbs in the water. She loved the river towns, the warm summer breezes and the languid weekends when she could make love with Steve all day and all night long. Time stood still in this world. It was their mystical place and would forever be precious. Steve trailed his tender fingertips along her brow as he stared down at her. “You’re so very beautiful. You know I can see the sunset in your eyes?” Giddy, she made a moue of her lips. Not to be outdone, she said, “You look like a god when the sun puts golden sparks in your hair.” She sifted her fingers through his locks delighting in its silkiness. Still hungry, but not for food, she licked her lips. She’d already mussed his curls, hours before, and she liked it with that look. It was a good look on him, the just made love look. She intended him to wear it every day of their lives. “Are you really going to make me wait until next February to become your husband?” She rose on her elbow and stared deeply into his incredible eyes, loving the sootiness of his long, dark lashes. She tapped his chin with her finger. “You know I want us to be married on Valentine’s Day. Besides,” she said with a devilish curve to her cheek, “whose making you wait?” She snaked her arm around his neck and drew his head down to hers to savour his lips. His lips tasted so good, better than chocolate, and she adored chocolate. She was addicted to chocolate so she was absolutely obsessed with her fiancé’s lips. They were firm

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and soft all at the same time. They sent her into a spiral that made her toes curl and elicited soft moans from her deepest core. Against her lips, he murmured, “Every day is magical with you. Every day is blessed.” Carefree, her laughter tinkled above the night sounds. “You, sir, are a charmer.” Languidly, he caressed her arm. “So long as I’m your Prince Charming.” Mischief played in her soul, and she loved their easy banter. “And my knight in shining armour.” “Doesn’t a prince trump a knight?” “You trump both.” She meant it. “I’m the luckiest woman in the world. I have you.” “You do.” He claimed her lips again, and his thumbs hooked into her bikini bottoms and pushed them down her quivering thighs. His hand followed as he smoothed his palm over her pussy. Possession humming through his fingers, he cupped it then rubbed her clit until it became a tiny little pearl. Either a tidal wave had picked up their boat and hurled it towards that magical horizon, or she was quaking with desire. She didn’t care which as long as it never ended. Returning the favour, she slipped her hand under the elastic waistband of his swim trunks and delved inside. Seeking his heat, she curled her fingers around the base of his cock, gratified that it swelled in her hands. She loved how it throbbed and flexed, how it was velvety soft yet hard all at the same time. “Ooh, baby. Do that much longer, and the only thing we’ll be wearing is a blanket of stars.” “Um. Sounds good to me.” It wouldn’t be the first time they’d made love on the boat with just the sky for a covering. If it was up to her, they’d honeymoon on the boat—if the honeymoon wasn’t set to occur in winter when the river would be iced over. Of course, she could do as he suggested and get married earlier… But it took time to plan a wedding, and even February was pushing it. As it was, her mother was going crazy with all the preparations and everything was booked. “Someone might see us,” he drawled, his voice husky, his thumb creating a rhythm that drove her crazy. “Even better…” “Perv.”

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“Brat.” She tightened her hold on his cock and squirmed against him. “Will being married to you be like this? Warm and fuzzy and magical?” “Even better, babe. How can it miss with you and me? Together, we’re dynamite.” She could attest to that. His ministrations were about to make her explode. Unwilling to go up in flames alone, she pushed down his shorts and clamped her legs around his. “We’re a perfect fit.” With a slight shift, he plunged inside. Then he moved in and out with increasing fervour. Her temperature dangerously spiking, she moved in synch, lifting her hips off the bench. In the distance a barge’s horn blew, blending with the night rumblings. The boat rocked, and they created a wake that lazily lapped at the far shore. As a growl emanated from the depths of Steve’s loins, he unlatched her bikini top and flung it aside. His words punctuated by raspy intakes of breath, he said, “I like to feel you naked against me.” She pressed her breasts to him, nipple to nipple, as she arched her hips. Her ardour grew higher like the wake against the boat. Her slow sizzle turned into a roiling boil, and she ground her pussy against him. Gloving his cock, she milked his seed. The horn blasted louder, more urgently. Steve pounded into her, his balls slapping her legs, his cock driving into her with a frenzy that made the horn sound like a mere whisper. In a vivid explosion of fireworks that mingled with the last rays of the setting sun, she came. Clinging to him, she dug in her fingers and held tight as she rode the waves of ecstasy. The blare of the horn shook the boat, and she awakened from her stupor. Her heart skipping several beats, she bounded up, her heart about to burst through her ribs. “Oh my God. Is that barge rounding the bend? It’s going to ram us.” Then she remembered she was naked under a cloudless sky. As Steve revved the boat’s engine, she found her bikini bottoms and dragged them on. A thorough inspection of the boat revealed her worst fear—the bikini top wasn’t on the boat.

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As Steve manoeuvred the boat to the far side of the river out of the barge’s path, she covered her breasts with her arms. Then she spied it. Her bikini top bobbed on the barge’s silvery wake, riding the frothy white caps. “Damn,” she whispered. “That was my favourite swim suit.”

**** Back at home a couple hours later, eager to sluice off the river water, but more excited to get another glimpse of Mischa’s beautiful bod, Steve slipped into the shower with her. He wasn’t disappointed. The shower’s spray was warm, but Mischa’s reception was warmer. She cast a flirty wink then batted her lush lashes. “Hi, lover. What brings you to my joint?” “Well, it’s my joint, too. ‘Our’ joint,” he said, savouring the ‘our’. “The house is in both our names.” “Soon to be ‘our’ name,” she huskily murmured against his lips. “It could be sooner. Just say the word. We can elope. We’ll use the money we save to pay off the roof…” She stuck out her lower lip. “We’re making payments on the roof, right? What’s more romantic? A roof or a beautiful wedding?” He couldn’t care less about a fancy ceremony, in fact he was uncomfortable with all the frills and preparation and how her mother flitted about, getting in the way all the time. He was really uncomfortable with all the extravagant expenses and would rather start their lives free and clear of debt. Why didn’t women seem to get the logic of that? Mischa was bright, so why was she being so stubborn about this? Not at all claustrophobic, he crowded her. He rubbed his body against her soapy one, his favourite way to wash himself. She giggled. “You’re tickling me.” “I’m getting clean. You’re hogging the soap.” She took a step back and hurled the soap at him. “Be my guest.” He cursed himself for inviting that. He ducked just in time, and the soap hit the wall with a thud then slid into the tub. “I’ll wash your back if you wash mine.”

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With a sly glint in her eyes, she nodded. “Deal.” He lathered her pussy until soap bubbles floated into the air, and her moans reverberated off the shower walls. Passion darkened her eyes, and she thrust her hips closer. “That’s not my back.” “Are you complaining?” He moved his hands around to her lower backside and cupped her perfect buttocks in his hands. “Is that better?” Her grin was higher wattage than the sun’s. “I wasn’t complaining.” He moved one hand back so that he washed her front and back simultaneously. “How’s that?” “Ooh! Perfect…” He lowered his mouth and captured a pert nipple. Nibbling it, he savoured her flavour, drowning in her heady scent. “You taste so good.” “Better than chocolate?” she murmured the words against his chest as she feathered kisses along his shoulders, up the column of his neck, to his lips. Against her lips, he said, “Much better.” “You taste like chocolate, too, only way better.” “I do?” Shivers going up his spine, he brimmed over with happiness. His cock felt neglected but very hot despite the water nestled between her thighs. She widened her legs and thrust her hips forward. He dragged her to him and plundered her mouth. Eager to feel her velvety moistness sheath him, his cock throbbed against her pussy. “Can I come in from the rain?” She gyrated her hips against his cock. “What are you waiting for?” With a primitive growl, he held still her hips and drove into her. But he lost his footing, stepped on something slimy and started to slide. His feet went out from under him, and he crashed down in the tub, pulling her with him. “Are you okay?” she asked breathily, as she lifted her weight off him. His lips twisted at the irony, and a chuckle bubbled up in his throat. “Curses! Foiled again. I forgot the damned soap was down there.” She shuttered her eyes with her lashes. “I’m sorry I threw it.”

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Not liking to see his baby sad, he slid his finger under her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “I goaded you. I should’ve picked it up. Don’t worry, I’m fine.” Except he’d lost his erection. Nothing was permanently broken, but nonetheless, he mourned its loss. Mischa stepped out of the shower then offered him a hand up. Like a siren, she crooked her finger at him. “There’s more room on the bed.” Hypnotised, he linked his fingers through hers and let her lead. Holding back a step, he watched the gentle but sexy sway of her hips, and her rounded tush that was making him hard again. When she climbed on to the bed, he murmured, “Get up on your knees.” Doggy style she got on her knees, and then tossed a come hither glance over her shoulder. To his enchantment, she wiggled her cute butt at him. “The lube’s on the nightstand.” Impatient to feel her warmth, to be one with her, he slathered the gel on his cock. Then he held her butt and worked his cock into her inviting folds. As her flesh gloved him, he worked his way in deeper until he was grinding his hips against her butt. Soon she was shrieking in delight. A wanton heathen, she impaled herself on him. “You’re such a sex machine,” she murmured, panting. He started to murmur, “I’ve heard that before,” but cut himself short. “How can I not be with you?” he asked instead. “Maybe I should rethink Feb—” Moans attacked her then she screamed. Tremors shook her body, and the quake moved across his border. Holding tight, he rode out the furious shudders. They collapsed onto the bed, and he marvelled how perfectly she spooned against him. After he caught his breath, he crawled off the bed. “Let me get something to wash us up.” She nodded and cast him a contented, blissful look. Then he remembered her words. “Did you say we could move the wedding up?” “Did I?” She pulled a fake frown. “Anything I said in a state of euphoria is unfair territory.” “I have an attorney friend…I’ll have to consult him about that,” he said with a wink. He pivoted on his heel as her laughter chased him down the hall.

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Whistling happily under his breath, walking with a jaunty step, he counted himself the luckiest man alive.

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Chapter Two

“I want my number one lady to meet my best friends,” Steve said. He slipped her hand through his arm and pulled her close to his side. Then he led her around cracks in the old sidewalk and ducked under a low-swooping dogwood tree. Mischa wondered again why she’d not met his friends before since they were so special, but her heart swelled at how well he took care of her, so she didn’t waste any worry pondering about it. She couldn’t imagine a more loving fiancé and trusted him with her entire heart and soul. “I can’t wait to meet them so I can get all the dirt on you.” Lobbing him an evil grin, she squeezed his arm. He rolled his eyes then slashed an electrifying kiss across her lips. “Who says there’s any dirt? Is someone feeling guilty about herself?” Carefree, knowing she hadn’t a thing to be concerned about, she laughed as the warm summer breeze caressed her face. “Everybody has dirt, babe. Some just have more than others.” The door flung open, flooding the outdoors with a pounding bass, heavy guitar, and a soulful tenor. A young man stumbled out, his sandy-coloured hair tousled, and his shirt buttoned askew. In a drunken stupor, he stopped before them, gave a sloppy salute to Steve then eyed her up and down as if she was some kind of gremlin. “How goes it, dude?” Steve frowned. “I’d like you to meet my fiancée, Mischa Bennett. Mischa, this is my friend Calvin Ingersoll.” Calvin’s brows tented, and he looked like he’d swallowed his tongue. “Your fiancée?” She wondered why the man sounded so amazed. Pretending not to notice his coolness, she stuck out her hand and schooled herself not to be offended. “Nice to meet you. Do you go by Calvin or Cal?” He didn’t answer, just gave her fiancé a penetrating glare then swaggered away without answering. With difficulty, he poured himself into a battered wreck of a Toyota. “What’s his problem?” she whispered.

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They were stepping across the threshold, and the music blasted even louder inside the apartment swarming with bodies, so she lost whatever reply he may have made. But she suddenly forgot about Calvin’s rudeness and wondered instead why she was the only female. Her nerves jumping spastically, she hung back. “Why am I the only woman?” She hated the vibes she was getting, and she wondered if Steve picked up on them, too? “Maybe I shouldn’t be here.” Steve laughed off her concerns as if they were nothing. “There’s nothing to worry about. There’s someone very special I want you to meet. It’s very important to me you like each other.” He led her to a table loaded with hors d’oeuvres and snagged a drink which he handed to her. She nodded and was excited to meet this person and wondered why he’d not forewarned her. The door opened and again, more men traipsed in but no women. She sipped her drink and tried to quell the butterflies in her tummy. Steve tugged at her other arm and guided her across the room. They wove in and out of the booming crowd. “I want you to meet Vin, my best friend.” His smile widened and his eyes twinkled. Then he released her, leaving her feeling bereft and adrift. When he closed the gap between himself and Vin then took the taller man in his arms and kissed him lip to lip, she felt as if she’d been sucked into the Twilight Zone. To her fascinated horror, the kiss grew into a deep, passionate kiss as the two men’s hands groped one another. Shocked, petrified to the spot, Mischa just stared at the spectacle. Her heart plummeted to her knees, and her lungs turned to stone. Finally, she blinked and dragged in ragged breaths. An eternity later, Steve and Vin broke their lip lock, but they linked hands and strolled over to her. Steve didn’t even look like the man she’d walked in with, his lips swollen from the kiss, his eyes glowing, his entire stance alien-like. Then, to her dismay, Steve captured her hand and smiled. “I’d like my two favourite people to meet. Mischa, meet Vin, my lover. Vin, meet Mischa, my fiancée.” His lover?

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Bile rose in her throat. She was going to be sick right here, in the middle of the party if she didn’t escape this second. This couldn’t be fucking happening. “Excuse me. I…I have to use the ladies room.” Vin laughed and held his belly as if it was the best joke he’d heard in ages. “There ain’t no ‘ladies’ room in this joint. Never was, never will be.” “Really, excuse me. I have to go.” She didn’t care where she went. She didn’t care that the neighbourhood was like a demilitarised zone. She had to escape. Now. “Mischa!” Steve said forcefully with a scowl. “You’re overreacting. You can’t just leave. You don’t have a car.” Luckily, she had a cell phone, and she dialled her best friend, Sayesha, as she pivoted on her heel and ran for the door, her heart hammering a million miles per minute. When Sayesha’s voice message kicked in, she swore under her breath. So she hung up and dialled her other best friend, Bev. When Bev answered, Mischa said breathily, “You’ve got to rescue me. I’m in hell.” “So am I,” Bev drawled. Mischa pushed through a crowd of laughing, drunken men, who were paired off two by two. “I mean it. I need you to pick me up right away. I’m in Clifton by the University.” “What in the world are you doing in that snake’s den?” “I’ll tell you later.” If she could ever talk about it without choking, that is. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around all this, couldn’t deal with the reality. “I’ll be right there. Find a restaurant or some safe place where you can wait and call me back with the location.” “O…okay.” Mischa shivered as if she was freezing even though it was the height of July and according to the thermometer, sweltering. Even steam arose from the concrete and the birds were too lazy to sing, if there were any birds in this city jungle. She darted out the door and hung left, thinking she remembered passing a chilli parlour not far down the road. Otherwise, all she recalled were abandoned boarded up warehouses and storefronts and these tenements. A hand grabbed her from behind and yanked her around. “What in hell do you think you’re doing? This isn’t a safe area to wander off by yourself,” Steve said, obviously pissed his face grey and pinched.

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“How in hell can you be pissed at me? After what you just did? After the way you’ve been cheating on me all this time? I’m getting as far away from you and your ‘lover’ as I can get.” She jerked away from this stranger’s vile touch. “Leave me alone. Forever. How could you?” “How could I what? Fall in love with two wonderful, amazing people at the same time? Hope that you would be as understanding and forgiving as Vin is?” “It’s called ‘cheating’. We were engaged to be married…” A look of incredulity crossed Steve’s eyes. “’Were engaged’? We are engaged. The wedding’s still on.” It was her turn to be amazed. Her jaw dropped several notches, before she forced it shut. “Why would you want to marry me? I don’t have a dick to fuck you. Were you marrying me so I could be your cover? So you don’t have to tell mommy and daddy that you’re gay? Well, I’m not anybody’s cover. I’m not the other woman.” “Don’t be crass. Don’t you see? He’s a man so I’m not cheating on you…” The avalanche of his bullshit threatened to smother her. She struggled to breathe as she tried to dig her way out, and thus her words came out breathy and clipped. “What universe do you come from? In mine, sleeping with another person, even French-kissing another person is cheating.” “Give me a chance. Let’s talk this over…” Feeling more in danger with Steve and how he still tugged at her traitorous heart than she felt all on her lonesome in this ghetto, Mischa hugged herself. “You lied to me. All this time. I don’t know who you loved first, but you’re cheating on both of us. Doesn’t Vin care?” “Vin understands. He’s married.” Gobsmacked, feeling way sorrier for Vin’s wife than for herself, she had to ask, “Has he told her about the two of you?” Steve nodded and shovelled his fingers through his hair. “She’s cool with it. She’s a great gal.” Her throat constricted, and she shook her head. Perspiration trickled down her back, and she longed to escape this hellish scene. “Really? Why don’t I believe it?” He gave her a blank look. “I’d like you to meet her, and she can tell you herself. Please, come back, and at least, let me drive you home.”

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When he tried to touch her again, she recoiled into herself sure his touch would turn her to dust. Backing away another step, her feet goaded her to turn and run. Not wishing to be so melodramatic, she said as calmly as she could instead, “Bev’s coming for me. She should be here soon.” He looked up at the sun as if he was calculating time. “Bev lives across town. It’ll take her an hour or more to get here in rush hour traffic from Colerain. Come with me. I won’t bite.” As if on cue gunshots rang out then police sirens wailed. Tires squealed. Horns protested. Her heart went into overdrive, and she understood how her asthmatic brother felt whilst in the midst of one of his many attacks. She could hardly pull in air. Still, she looked back and forth between the direction of the distressing noise and the demon standing beside her. Finally, she decided the devil she knew was the less dangerous physically, if more dangerous to her heart. “All right. You can take me home. I’ll call Bev and tell her not to come after all.” Steve nodded, his expression sad. “You hurt Vin’s feelings. Can you at least apologise to him?” It was all she could do to bite back the snort trying to burst through her lips. Since when did the aggrieved party have to make nice? She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “Who were you dating first? Me or Vin?” Steve fell into an uneasy, stilted step beside her, one foot on, one foot off the narrow pavement. “Vin and I have been lovers for three years.” It didn’t take any calculation to figure out he’d cheated on Vin with her. They’d only begun dating a year ago. How could she have missed it for a year? She sought her memory for signs and now noticed how many nights they’d been apart, how many times he’d gone out with ‘the guys’. “How can you sleep at night?” Quickly, she bit her lip, afraid he’d start describing how he slept very well next to his male lover. Very naughty images flashed through her mind. Surprisingly, they began to turn her on, not sicken her as she’d have sworn a few moments ago. Aghast at herself, she pushed them away. “Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t do this to me. We’re human beings. What does it matter how we love and whom we love?” he asked.

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It mattered a helluva lot to her! Her heart was shattered. She didn’t know what to think or how to feel. She needed time, lots of time, to think things over and lick her wounds. She wondered how her friends would’ve taken this had they been the one chosen by Steve instead of her. Doubts raged in her mind, and indigestion burned her chest. One fact in particular remained that she couldn’t get over. “I don’t care if you want to sleep with a man or a horse, but don’t cheat on someone. Pick one and stick with it.” Steve shook his head and shoved his hands deep in his tattered jeans pockets. “It’s not that easy. The heart is many-faceted, and it goes its own way. I truly love you both.” Her anger boiled over, and she stopped in her tracks and turned on him. “Okay, then, what’s to stop you from falling in love with three people? Or four? Or seventeen? Are all supposed to be okay with that? Like those Mormons on TV with a gazillion wives?” On a rant, she shook her head and continued on the same breath, “I can’t live that way. I don’t want to be one of a harem, even if it’s all other women.” “You’re not into sharing.” “Not when it comes to my man or my bed. Marriage is sacred between two people.” She’d allow that the two people could be of the same gender as long as they were committed to each other. Live and let live and all that good shit. But cheating was cheating. “I didn’t peg you for one of those narrow-minded, self-righteous people. You disappoint me.” Aghast that he didn’t get it, at his attempted smack in the face, she flung back at him, “Get over it. Take me home, now. If you don’t mind, I have a mother of a headache, and I’m tired of talking.” “I do mind. I don’t want to lose you and what we have. I want to fight for us.” “Maybe you should have picked a better way to break this to me then.” Although she doubted that would have helped. At least, she wouldn’t have looked like a fool in front of a room full of people. “I want you to go home and rest. Sleep on it. Take a couple days, but don’t write me off. We need to talk. If you don’t call me by two days from now, I’ll call you. If you don’t answer, I’ll camp on your doorstep. That’s a promise.” It sounded more like a threat. She was tired of fighting however. “Whatever.”

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**** “I’m in total shock,” Bev said the next night, shaking her head with a look of mourning on her face. “Why do all the gorgeous guys have to be gay? It’s not fair.” “Tell me about it.” Mischa tipped a bottle of Coors to her lips and poured the amber liquid down her throat. She was past caring if she got rip-roaring drunk. What did it matter? The world was upside down, cock-eyed and totally unjust. Instead of calling Steve as he’d insisted, she’d called her two best friends instead. Currently, she was holed up in Bev’s apartment in stead of hiding out as her mother’s house. That would be the first place he’d look. He could camp on her doorstep, build a bonfire and roast marshmallows all week for all she cared. She’d brought her cat, Jake, with her and enough clothing to last at least a month. “The universe hates me. All men are gay. The world is doomed. No more babies will be born, and we’ll be the last of our kind, unless of course, a race of straight aliens shows up from outer space to save our sorry asses.” “Boy, did he ever do a number on you. I really don’t think all men are gay,” Bev said, thoughtfully stroking her chin a far away gleam in her eyes. Sayesha piped in. “He’s bi, not gay.” “Whatevah.” Mischa waved her hand in disdain and went in search of another bottle. She threw her empty at the trash, missed, and shrugged when it landed in a heap beside a couple others. As she stumbled back into the living room where her support group awaited, she said, “I give up. I’m never going to look at another man.” Bev and Sayesha eyed each other then her. Sayesha drawled, “So you’re turning lesbian?” Mischa rolled her eyes and flopped onto the couch. “No. I’ve applied to the convent.” Bev lifted her legs onto the coffee table and crossed her ankles. “You’re not Catholic.” A snort exploded from Mischa’s lips. “Oh well, it seems everybody’s twisted. I’ll fit right in.” Pounding shook the door, and all three women stared at it, Mischa with trepidation. Then someone leaned on the damned doorbell. Afraid it was Steve, wondering why he’d

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want her anyway, Mischa pursed her lips. It wasn’t as if she was an heiress of some huge fortune. It was probably that she was a pushover, or so he thought. Sayesha finally rose leisurely as if someone wasn’t trying to bust down the door. “Hold your horses. I’m coming already,” Sayesha rasped on a sigh. Mischa put out her leg to stop her friend. “If it’s the jerk, I don’t want to talk to him or see him. I’m not here.” Just in case, she fled to the bedroom and closed the door. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she leaned her ear against it. She just knew it was Steve. Muffled voices drifted through the door, but she couldn’t make out any words. A few moments later, someone knocked on the door. “It’s Sayesha. I’m coming in so you best move back.” Then the door opened. Mischa jumped back and faced her friend, her heart beating a rapid tattoo. “Was it him?” Sayesha sank onto her bed. “Yeah, he’s pretty raw. He looks almost as pathetic as you.” Mischa screwed up her lips and peeked at her tear-ravaged, makeup-less face in the mirror. She stuck out her tongue at her ugly reflection. “Impossible. Besides, if he is, he deserves it.” Sayesha tucked her raven-black hair behind her ears. “I think you should hear him out.” Dumbfounded, Mischa gaped. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’re joking.” Sayesha screwed up her lips and leaned back on her elbows. “Do I look like I’m teasing? Just talk to the guy. He won’t go away until you do.” Her heart froze. “You let him in?” She wanted to throw things, to tear out her hair. She whirled around and faced off against the traitor. “What happened to ‘I’m not here’?” “He’s gay, not idiotic…” Mischa mumbled, “Bi,” before she realised it. “Exactly! He’s not gay. He loves you. He’s really sore.” “And I’m not?” Mischa felt some of the oomph go out of her, and she deflated. Sinking onto the mattress beside her friend, she wrapped her arms around herself. Unfortunately, it didn’t make her feel better or chase away the Arctic chill freezing her heart. “You did hear the part about how he’s got a male lover? Not past tense—”

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“Oh, yeah. I heard.” Totally perplexed, Mischa splayed her hands. “Then what? I don’t get it. How can you be on his side? You’re supposed to be ‘my’ friend.” Sayesha squeezed her and laid her head against Mischa’s shoulder. “I am on your side, sweetie. I don’t think you’ll be happy if you don’t fight for him.” Her gut clenched as her heart shredded some more. She gazed at her friend’s reflection in the mirror, wondering if this was a different version from some parallel universe. It certainly looked like Sayesha even if it didn’t sound like her. “You think this is making me happy? You think sharing him will make me happy? You know me. I don’t even share clothes. You expect me to share a man?” Sayesha glanced pointedly at her watch then at the door. “He only gave me five minutes, then he’s coming in.” Mischa petrified to the spot, and her heart spun out. Frantically, she glanced around, looking for another exit, knowing there wasn’t one. Sayesha lifted her head. “You’re acting as if the sun will never rise again and it’s the end of the world. Don’t take yourself so seriously.” The door opened and Mischa almost jumped out of her skin. But it was only Bev. “Y’all better get your buns out there before he comes in.” Bev pinpointed her with a stern glare. “He’s not as bad as you make out.” The charming rat had a way of wrapping his sweet tongue around people, and she feared her friends were casualties. That didn’t mean she had to get all twisted around until she relinquished her soul to him. “If you’re so okay with it, then you marry hi—” The door burst wide, and Steve broke in as she was in the middle of her spout. His eyes darkened on her, pain welling in his face. His look caught and held hers as both Sayesha and Bev rose wordlessly and vacated the room. Sayesha closed the door behind them with a soft click. Not sure what to do, Mischa slanted her gaze away from the man towering over her. Feeling as if she was in an inferior position, she scooted off the bed and stood on the other side. This was the last room she would have chosen for such a confrontation. “Let’s not do this.”

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He struck an adamant pose and thrust out his jaw. His chest puffed out, and he looked sexier than ever with the raw sex appeal that had first attracted her. “Let’s do. I’m not leaving this time until we talk this out.” He perched on the side of the bed and patted the space beside him. She eyed him then the bed. “No thanks.” One, she didn’t trust her hormones to be so close to him. They tended to go their own way, logic be damned. Two, she couldn’t help but picture him naked on that bed with Vin doing the dirty deed. Images of Steve and Vin wrapped around one another flooded her, fogging her vision so that the real man before her faded. They embraced each other tenderly as they lay side by side on the mattress. Their penises, both turgid and throbbing, playing duelling cocks. Their hips thrust back and forth with increasing fervour. Their hands shamelessly roamed one another, tracing the contours of their flat planes and hard muscles. Their breathing grew into heavy pants. Their musky odour tickled her nostrils, threatening to overcome her. Their whispered sweet nothings wrenched at her heart they were so tender, so loving, so touching that her palms went clammy. She began to perspire when she envisioned Steve grabbing the tube of lube poised on the bedside stand and squeezing a blob of jelly onto his hands then rubbing it onto his cock. When Vin squirted more on his hands and rubbed it over Steve, her knees turned to jelly and she almost sank to the floor. In no seeming hurry, they caressed each other’s cocks, pausing for long, savoury kisses, their tongues mating in midair. She stared at the lovers, no longer men, but two people in love, two people in the throes of passion. As Vin crawled onto his hands and knees, Steve mounted him from behind and teased the man’s ass with his cock, drawing it slowly along the crack. Her legs quivered and her panties grew damp. Her respiration became shallow, and she couldn’t believe her reaction. She wanted to dive onto that bed with them! When Steve probed Vin’s ass with his cock, when the length slowly disappeared inside his lover, she wanted to drag it out and open her legs wide to him. Or she wanted to crawl beneath Vin and impale herself on his big, slick cock, so red, so velvety, so hot, and so ready to come. Vin’s cock? Not her fiancé’s?

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She shook herself. Didn’t she mean her ex-fiancé? The real Steve snapped his fingers before her eyes and said sharply, “Earth to Mischa. You’re not having a seizure, are you?” The man beside her seemed to be more of a ghost through which she still saw the lovers. He was as transparent as a watermark yet solid. Then he grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her, and the ghostly visions evaporated. “Are you okay?” God, she didn’t know if she’d ever be okay again. “What do you think? Should I be?” ‘Duh’ hung in the air, she broke free and angled towards the escape door. Steve eyed the exit and blocked her way with a swift two-step in that direction. “Uh uh uh.” He waggled his finger in front of her nose. “I mean it. We have to talk. I won’t let you go until we do.” She scrunched her nose. “You’re holding me prisoner? All I have to do is scream, and my friends will be right here.” “Of course, you’re not my prisoner. But please hear me out. Do this for us.” “For us? What us? It was all a lie.” A torrent of pain doubled her over and tears pricked the backs of her eyes. A cry strangled in her throat as she buried her face in her hands. “Nothing’s been a lie. I love you so much it hurts. I’m dying inside to see you so torn up. I’d never hurt you.” “Right.” He thought she’d do a jig when she found out? “What part of telling me you have another lover isn’t supposed to hurt me?” Sobs erupted, and her body shook uncontrollably. He took her in his arms and cradled her against his chest. He wiped away the damp tendrils of hair clinging to her cheeks. His lips against her forehead, he mumbled, “Shush. It’s okay. Everything will be all right, baby.” How she wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t. All the light had gone out of the world, and she feared the sun would never shine again. “Nothing will be okay. Please leave me alone so I can get over you and get on with my life.” He crushed her to his chest and rocked her gently. He held her securely against his heart and whispered in her ear. “Tell me you don’t love me anymore. I need an honest answer.” Her heart screamed at the injustice. She couldn’t do that, not honestly. “Why?”

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“Because if you don’t love me, I’ll leave and never bother you again. But if you love me, and I know you do, we can work this out.” “Does this mean you’d give up Vin? You’d never have a relationship with another man? At least, so long as you’re with me?” When he hesitated, she knew the answer. Her heart cried louder than her sobs. “You don’t love me. Why do you want me to love you? Why?” She pulled away far enough to pummel his chest. Easily, he clamped his hands around her wrists and held her at bay. “I do love you. You’re the woman of my dreams. We can work this out. Lots of others have done so.” That stopped her, and she punctuated her thoughts with a loud hiccough. “Others?” She eyed him suspiciously, not sure she wanted to hear the answer. “What have they done?” “Loved more than one person. There’s more than one way to love. Who says love can only between one man and one woman? Or two men or two women? Why not more?” Her jaw dropped, and she went limp. “More? I can’t handle you with one other person.” She burst into tears, and her entire body quaked. “This is so unfair. I loved you long before you ever looked at me…” The irony of it made her chuckle through the tears. He’d been the man of her dreams. Some dreams… He slipped his finger under her chin and tilted up her face, forcing her to gaze at him. Frissons of awareness shot down the column of her neck and her erratic pulse nearly jumped out of her throat. Every romantic feeling, every nerve ending was amplified. Her heart didn’t care about anyone else. It only cared about now, this second in time. They were the only two people in the world, encased in a bubble no one could penetrate. God help her, but she still loved him with every fibre of her heart. Her traitorous body yearned for him. Her thighs quivered, and her nipples wantonly strained against the thin fabric of her top. Steve captured a tear clinging to her eyelash then held it up to her eyes. The light refracted off it, shimmering like a bubble. Then he brushed away another tear with his fingers as it trickled down her face. “Don’t cry, my lady. We can work this out.” He drew her to him, slowly, inexorably, as he lowered his lips to hers.

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She couldn’t resist the lure of his lips any more than she could stop breathing. She moulded her body to his, fitting against him perfectly. Their hearts pounded in unison, like ancient ceremonial drums. Against her lips, he murmured, “I love you. I need you.” Her heart echoed his words, but she wouldn’t allow herself to utter the words. Yet her body shouted it for her. Her thighs tightened, and her pussy tingled. Shivers ran down her spine. Her toes curled. He parted her lips, and his tongue explored her mouth as his hands caressed her curves. Before she knew it, they were falling back onto the bed, and his weight trapped her beneath him. When he started to push up her shirt, her sense reared its head, and she awoke from her stupor. With a sharply indrawn breath, she shoved away his hands. “Stop. This can’t happen.” She had to admit her heart was his, but she was keeping her soul. He lifted himself on his elbows and stared deeply into her eyes. His legs trapped hers beneath his, unyielding. “Are you sure?” She gazed into the depths of his eyes, the eyes she’d thought she knew so well through their many expressions. She’d seen them go a clear grassy green when he was happy. Brown flecks appeared when he was pensive. They glowed almost gold when he was laughing. And they were a dark forest green in the throes of passion. But now they were a muddy greenish brown, overflowing with pain and questions she was loathe to answer. She nodded as she pushed down her shirt. “I’m positive. I honestly can’t do this.” Steve rolled off her, stood up and shoved his hands deep in his pockets. He rocked back and forth on his worn boot heels. “I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want. But I think you’re making a mistake. You’ll regret this.” “Please go,” she said as bravely as she could. She cursed the catch in her voice. “If you love me, you’ll respect my wishes.” Steve took a few steps towards the door, then he turned back. Looming large in front of the door, he shot her a penetrating, inscrutable gaze. “I’m going…for now. But this is far from over.” She bit back a huge sigh and stood stoic. “As far as I’m concerned, it is.” Steve spun on his heel and marched out, slamming the door.

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She winced as one of Sayesha’s pictures fell and splintered.

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Chapter Three

A week later, Mischa didn’t feel any better. She alternated between feeling numb and being on the brink of tears. She couldn’t look at a man, any man, and not wonder if he was secretly gay, if he wasn’t ogling the man next to her instead of her. Her self-confidence had waned. As predicted, her mother had wailed and berated her for breaking the engagement. Of course, Mischa had not been able to voice the real reason for the break up. She felt enough shame without hearing about it for the rest of her life. The caterers and florists demanded they keep her deposit. The pastor had already rebooked their nuptials date so at least she didn’t have to lose the retainer on the reception hall. She wondered when the pain would lessen, and what she was doing wrong. “What does it matter?” she mumbled as she pushed through the rush hour crowd, trying to get to work on time. “Men are all jerks anyway. Who needs them?” The man beside her gave her an odd look but didn’t say anything. Embarrassed about being overheard, she pretended not to notice his scowl. He was probably gay and cheating on his woman, too, so what did she care what he thought? As she clocked into her job then signed onto her computer, she grumbled under her breath, “You’re one screwed up chick.” She didn’t have long to dwell on personal matters as the customer service phones shrilled non-stop. Sayesha, her co-worker as well as her best friend, rolled her eyes when Mischa hung up the phone. “I swear it’s a full moon. The donors are nutsy again. That one swore we were stealing from her, and when she faxed her credit card statement, she’d made her donation to another charity. I swear, their name doesn’t even sound like ours.” Mischa typed a donor’s name into her Excel data sheet as she mumbled, “I had one that wanted a thousand necklaces—free.”

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She flipped over another letter and went onto the next. “Some want everything for nothing while the rest of them complain we’re wasting money. We can’t win.” She refrained from adding, it was just her karma that she couldn’t win at anything. Sayesha walked around her desk and lowered her blinds a smidgen. The glare on Mischa’s monitor magically disappeared. “You’re still raw, aren’t you?” Mischa refused to bite. She bent her head and dove back into her work, typing furiously, her fingers flying over the keys. “Mischa? Talk to me, sweetie.” Sayesha’s voice was soft and worried as she laid a commiserative hand on Mischa’s shoulder. “Believe me, it’ll turn out okay. Everything happens for the best.” Sudden, hot tears threatened to choke her, and she blinked back the fresh batch as best as she could. Still, everything swam in front of her and the print blurred. “I don’t want to talk about it.” What was she supposed to say? That her mother had called her selfish? That she’d wasted thousands of dollars on this non-wedding? That she couldn’t afford to keep the house without Steve’s income? “Do you have lunch plans today?” The thought of food made her stomach turn over. “I can’t eat.” She’d hardly eaten all week and her clothes were getting loose. She’d wanted to lose weight but not this way. She cracked a smile at the irony. “That’s better. Don’t waste another thought on that man.” Sayesha returned to her desk and opened an email. Mischa muttered, “Easier said than done.” Sayesha swivelled around and gave her a hard stare. “I’m taking you out for lunch. Somewhere away from here. No argument.” She’d cried so hard on Sayesha’s shoulders already, she didn’t feel it fair to keep burdening her, particularly when her friend was about to start her own married life. “Really, I don’t—” “I’m taking you out, and that’s final.” When the phone rang on her desk a moment later, she stared at the blinking red light with trepidation. She wasn’t in any mood to deal with another whiny donor. Didn’t they

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know their problems paled in significance to hers? She couldn’t turn on the sunshine in her soul any more than she could make the sun rise. She wasn’t up to solving their problems when she couldn’t begin to solve her own. “I’ll get it.” Sayesha punched her call pick up button and spoke in muted tones into her phone. Mischa shot her a look of gratitude. They were a team, covering each other’s backs. It was the only way to survive against the often evil donors. After talking to Sayesha at lunch, she felt only slightly more herself. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be the same again. Part of her was missing, and she feared it was her heart and prayed it wasn’t her soul. At home later that night, she took her evening walk. She could think better when she exercised, and so after she’d changed into her walking shoes and workout clothes, she escaped to the park down the road. The din of the soccer teams and their families was a buzzing soundtrack to her thoughts. Although kids were kicking balls, teens were weaving in and out on their newfangled skateboards, and young moms were pushing strollers, she was glad of their unobtrusive company. They smiled at her but didn’t try to interrupt her reverie. They saw her but weren’t nosy. Their presence would keep her safe from harm but not intrude. Too soon, the sun dipped low in the sky and melted across the horizon like a peach sorbet. In awe of nature’s glory, she wondered how sometimes it could be so utterly perfect, and other times, it could go so askew as to make gender-confused people. Or was she the confused one? That she couldn’t doubt. Maybe she was too anal, too old-fashioned. One thing was for sure. She was very confused. As she approached her driveway, a strange sedan was parked in front of her house. A tall man leaned against the car, his ankles crossed and his eyes boring into her. Recognition made her heart somersault. The last rays of the setting sun made his shoulder-length locks glow a burnished auburn, like spun gold. It matched the highlights in his soulful, knowing eyes. His long length was clad in black jeans and a muscle shirt, and he reminded her of a rebel with a cause, on a mission of love or death. Vin separated himself from the vehicle when he saw her. He drew himself to his full, impressive height and sauntered towards her.

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She gulped and stopped, wanting to flee, knowing she couldn’t run forever. Nor did she want to look foolish. She was an adult, and she wanted to be perceived as one. Masking her face into a bland expression, she forced her lips to stretch into a smile. “Hi. Vin, right?” “We need to talk. Can I buy you a drink?” “No offense, but I have nothing to say about the matter. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” Vin’s brows drew together, and his frame stiffened. “I do mind very much. You won’t listen to Steve, so you’ll have to listen to me.” He turned and stood by her side as if they were together. He didn’t move to touch her. He didn’t block her. And no one else was on the sleepy road, unless you counted the birds picking at the garbage her neighbours had already set out for the following morning’s pickup. Tamping down her frown, she tried to remain civil. So she wouldn’t talk with her hands as she was wont to do, she shoved them in her jeans pockets. “Look, I’m not trying to be a cold bitch, but I’m not interested in this kind of relationship.” She hurried on so she wouldn’t sound like one of those prejudiced people who was intolerant of anybody who was different than themselves. “I have nothing against two men or two women falling in love. Let live and let love. I love Rock Hudson and Rupert Everett and all, and they’re gay, but…” Oh God, she was rambling like an idiot. “What I mean is that I don’t care what you do in private or whom you love…” Vin fell into step beside her, his swagger pronounced. “What you mean,” Vin drawled, his dark glance slicing through her, “is that you just don’t want me to do ‘it’ with your man.” She quickened her pace then stopped dead in front of him, blocking his advance. “Don’t put words in my mouth. What I mean is that you can have him with my blessings. I won’t hold your relationship or your sexual preferences against you. But I’m damned if I’m going to share my husband with someone else, male, female, horse, or alien. I’m surprised you’d want to share your lover. Why would you want me horning in on what you have? Aren’t you jealous?” “I love him enough that I want him to be happy. You make him happy.”

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She hung on his words, raptly watching his lips. Now she was even more confused. “So you’re giving him up?” She wasn’t sure that solved the problem. Steve didn’t see the difficulty, so he’d merely replace Vin with another man at some point in time. But she was in awe at Vin’s magnanimity. “No. That wouldn’t make him happy. He loves both of us. He wants both of us. There’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to work this out.” Frustration and annoyance battled inside her. A scream strangled in her throat, vying to escape, but she tamped it down. “What is it with you men? You really don’t see a problem with this?” Vin rolled his head and massaged his neck. Squinting at the setting sun, he seemed to be reaching deep inside himself. Finally, he said, “What do you see is the problem?” This was unbelievable! “Two is a couple. Two is man and wife…or man and man…or whatever!” She flung up her hands. “If I was to lose my mind and marry Steve, then what? I’m supposed to lie alone in bed while the two of you are…” She couldn’t voice the words, but the images smacked her in the face. There they were again, kissing, loving, screwing… “That would kill me. Why would I put myself in that position? Why would you?” They were almost to her front door so she dug her keys out of her pocket, and they dangled from her fingers, chinking against one another. “Who says you’d have to be alone when me and Steve are together?” A napalm bomb went off in her head. Her wits shattered. Suddenly, she saw herself superimposed over the men’s ghostly images, in the middle of them, being lusciously ravaged, licked, kissed, and worshipped like a goddess. A goddess? Did gay men worship goddesses? Steve’s word for it screamed in her ear. Bi. He was bi, not gay. According to him there was a huge difference. At the last second, she caught herself about to lick her lips and stopped. “If you’re saying what I think, I hardly know you.” They must think her some kind of a slut. Or maybe they had no morals so didn’t expect anyone else to. Duh. Vin escorted her to her door as if he was hopeful of being invited inside.

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Not knowing him and not liking what she knew about him, she paused and turned. “Well, goodnight. Please tell Steve I said hello.” A look of incredulity lit Vin’s face, and he scratched his chin. “Is that all you have to say? Can I come in so we can talk? I have a lot to say.” Alarm bells blared in her head. Nervous, she picked a flower from the bush beside her and shredded it. As the petals rained to the ground she shuffled her feet. “I don’t invite strangers into my house.” Truthfully, she didn’t feel all that safe standing alone with him in the dark, either. “Then let me buy you dinner. We can go to Applebee’s. Drive yourself if you feel better.” She was tired of being badgered. “Look, I’m exhausted. I have to get up early for work. And I don’t have anything more to say on the subject, so it would be pointless. Goodnight.” She fingered the cell phone clipped to her waist toying with the idea of calling the authorities for help if he persisted. His shoulders slumped, and he hung his head. Then he gazed back up at her with disappointment in his eyes. “I wish you’d keep an open mind. I’m not here for me.” That struck a note of sympathy in her. Just one. Giving him a small commiserative smile, she paused with her key in the door. “I know. I don’t blame you. I just don’t know you. I’m sure you understand.” “I’m not sure I understand any of this.” She couldn’t comprehend what was so difficult. “Good night.” She slipped inside without another word and quickly locked the door behind her. Her nerves shot, her heart sore, she flopped onto her couch and crossed her arms over her face. “God, what did I do to deserve this?”

**** Steve could hardly breathe. He hadn’t been able to sleep. His concentration was shot to hell. For the fifth time, he erased the last line of the program he was writing, despairing he’d ever get it right. How could he be logical when his heart was breaking?

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He was two weeks past deadline, something that never happened. His client was screaming for his program and threatening to cancel the contract. If not for that, he would crawl back onto the couch he was borrowing from Vin and Nicole. That or go to the shooting range to get off some of his aggression. Vin padded up to him on bare feet, his chest also bare and his long hairy legs exposed below his boxers, the only thing he wore beside his silver bracelet. He carried two glasses of orange juice and set one down beside Steve. Nicole tended to sleep late so they let her. “Drink up. You need more brain cells.” Steve leaned back in his chair and flung his head back staring aimlessly at a spot on the ceiling. “What’s a couple brain cells? The rest went south for the winter.” Vin swished the juice in his glass, leaving pulp on the sides, then he took a swig. After wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he set down the glass with a bang then dropped his hands to Steve’s shoulders. Without warning, he massaged Steve’s neck. It was all Steve could do to stop from moaning it felt so relaxing. Tension seeped away. “You have magic fingers.” “I have magic something else, too,” Vin whispered seductively in his ear, then nibbled it. Vin’s breath was warm and moist against his flesh, and frissons of awareness strafed him. His cock twitched, and he considered drowning his troubles in Vin’s warm embrace. The idea of shutting out the world, of forgetting everything except the sexy man offering consolation, was tempting. Vin swirled his tongue along Steve’s ear then dipped it inside. The moist heat sent spasms down his spine, and he leaned into his lover’s caresses. “What did I do to deserve you?” “Just being you. I love you.” Vin’s arms snaked around his neck, and he was pulled against Vin’s chest. He rubbed his cheek against his lover’s heart, taking comfort in the strong, steady heart beat. “You’re too good to be true. I can always count on you.” “And you’ll always be able to. I plan to stick around a long time.” Unlike she-who-could-not-be-named who had fled when they’d hit their first pothole. Mischa’s face popped into his mind, and her ethereal beauty stole his breath, shattering his

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heart all over. He squeezed his eyes tight, trying to erase her from his mind, but her picture just loomed larger. So he pretended the only people in the world were he and Vin. “I love you, too.” Vin pushed his chair so that it swivelled around. His lips slanted into a cocky grin as he glanced down at the growing bulge in Steve’s shorts. With no trace of coyness, Vin slipped his fingers beneath Steve’s waistband and pushed them down until his cock sprung out, hard and straight. A primitive growl ripped from Steve’s throat when Vin stood and shucked his boxers, revealing his own raging erection. “Beautiful. Let’s take this to the other room.” He retained sanity enough to know the blinds were open. “Why not let old Mertyl Brown get her jollies. Voyeurism is hot.” “We’ll give old Mrs. Brown a heart attack,” Steve said in shock. “Nah. She’s a tough old broad. She gets off on watching all the neighbours, especially us.” Steve gulped. “You speak with the voice of experience. How do you know?” Vin got on his hands and knees and buried his face in Steve’s groin, feathering kisses along the length of his cock. Against his throbbing flesh, Vin murmured, “Because she told me.” “You’re shitting me.” Steve peered down at his lover’s silky head, buried between his legs. He ran his fingers through the thick hair, revelling in the sensual feel. Vin’s fingers replaced his lips as he lifted his head and stared into Steve’s eyes, his dancing with mirth. “Cross my heart and hope to die. Mertyl loves this stuff. The hotter the better.” Steve shook his head. “Guess you can’t judge a person by looking at them.” His mind was boggled that the little old white-haired wrinkled woman, whose backyard bordered Vin’s, would get off on gay sex. She looked like the ultimate church-going matron. “Let’s give her more to watch and make her day,” Vin murmured huskily. He got down on his hands and knees and twisted around. He wiggled his ass in front of Steve’s face. “Take me, big boy. Give me that big delicious cock.” Steve’s cock flexed, eager to shove into his lover. But when he looked around for lube, he was disappointed. “Wait here. Keep the engines revving.”

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“Hurry back.” Vin flipped onto his bottom and began to fondle his own cock. “Next time, don’t start something without having the supplies handy.” Vin frowned. “You take all the spontaneity out of it.” Steve twisted his lips. He’d fix this for next time. He sprinted to the bedroom, tiptoed in so as not to awaken the sleeping Nicole, and scooped up the gel and hurried back. “What took you so long?” Vin, now standing, pulled Steve into his arms and bent him back. They drank deeply of each other’s lips as they rubbed their cocks together. Steve was getting so hot he was about to combust. Tearing his lips from his lover’s, he growled, “Get down on your hands and knees. Stick that sexy butt of yours in to the air.” “Ooh, I love it when you manhandle me. Go ahead, have your wicked way with me,” Vin drawled. Vin wasted no time, and Steve mounted him. It didn’t escape his notice that the blinds were wide open and it gave him a perverse pleasure. If only Mischa would get such pleasure… Angry at himself for letting her enter his thoughts, he shoved her away again, just as she kept pushing him away. But the fury wasn’t eradicated, and he plunged harder into Vin than he should. “Ouch! Slow down, big guy,” Vin said as he flinched away. “Easy does it.” Steve winced and backed off. He inhaled deeply, getting a grip. “Sorry. You okay?” Vin looked over his shoulder. “I don’t break that easily. You’re really into it this morning.” Steve nodded, feeling like a fake. “Yeah.” His mind was on work, but mainly it was on Mischa. With great difficulty, he dragged his thoughts back to the present. “You always make me so hot.” “Show. Don’t tell.” Vin wiggled his ass. “How about some real action?” Vin’s ass brushed his cock sending a lightning bolt of desire through him. Blood surged anew, and he wanted to be one with the man he loved. Leaning low, he licked Vin’s tight ass with long sweeps of his tongue. He massaged his tight buns, then he rubbed his pulsing cock against Vin’s feverish flesh. “God, I love your hard body.” “You don’t love me?” Vin fondled Steve’s cock with his foot.

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Shudders skipped along Steve’s spine, and the earth quaked. “You know the answer to that. More than the earth, moon and heavens.” So hot he was about to combust, he worked his cock into Vin. He spread Vin’s butt cheeks wider, easing his way into the hilt. Vin moaned and writhed beneath him. He pounded his ass against Steve as Steve drove into him with a frenzy that scared and excited him. His blood roared in his ears. Moans erupted from his lips as his heart expanded tenfold. Tingles shot through him and he was beyond comprehension, just a conduit of ravenous hunger and need. Wildfires raged inside him, burning brighter, reaching higher than ever until his seed exploded into his lover. Holding Vin tight, he arched his head as a primitive roar ripped from his throat. Vin ground back against him with abandoned fury until with a howl, he milked Steve’s cock. “That was incredible,” he said, panting. Perspiration dripping down his forehead, Steve pulled out of his lover. The air felt cold against his flesh, and he missed Vin’s velvety heat. The love in his heart swelled, and he took Vin into his arms and kissed him tenderly. Against Vin’s lips, he murmured, “Don’t ever leave me.” He couldn’t take losing Vin, too. “Don’t worry. I’m not crazy like…” Steve’s heart lurched, and he veiled his eyes from Vin’s narrowed gaze. He did his best to keep a neutral expression. He didn’t want Vin to know his heart was still raw and bleeding, even if he was in danger of haemorrhaging to death. Vin cursed under his breath. “That was insensitive of me. Forget I said that. It just burns me how she won’t listen…” Vin bit his lip and turned away, but not before Steve saw guilt flicker across his eyes. Alarm fractured the mood and he shook his head to clear it of the cobwebs. “What were you going to say?” “Nothing.” The way Vin said ‘nothing’, clipped and sharp, told Steve it meant something he wouldn’t like. He didn’t like his suspicions one bit. “What did you do?”

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A too innocent expression froze on Vin’s features. His eyes widened in his cheeks and his lips parted. He blinked and coyly tilted his head. “Why would you think that?” Steve rolled his eyes and raised to his full height, his cock now flaccid, his muscles tensed and screaming. “Stop shitting me. I know you too well. Tell me,” he said with an edge of steel in his voice. Vin rolled over to his side and squinted up at him. Steve’s shadow darkened half of Vin’s face and sunlight danced across the other half. He pushed himself off the floor with his elbow and he lost his erection. He heaved a sigh, his chest rising heavily, and he shoved his fingers through his messy hair. “I really don’t want to get into this. There’s no point pouring salt in your wounds.” It was Steve’s turn to swear. “Now I know you were up to no good.” He didn’t like the images tickling his mind. “You went to see her, didn’t you?” Her was uttered on a hiss, like a dirty word. It reverberated with humiliation and carried a wealth of pain. Vin hauled on his shorts. When he released the waistband, there was a sharp snap against his flesh. He rolled his shoulders then plodded into the kitchen and dove into the fridge. His muffled voice floated back. “Okay. I went to see her on your behalf. She wasn’t exactly pleased to see me or in any mood to discuss you.” “Damn,” Steve hissed as he slumped against the couch.

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Chapter Four

Mischa couldn’t get into her night out with Bev, Sayesha and Sayesha’s fiancé Keifer, so she stared into the cloudy amber of her drink and swished it around with her finger. Bev nudged her in the ribs. “Get a look at that cutie. His eyes have been loving on you all night. What about him?” Mischa lazily looked about until she spied the guy Bev described. Blond with bright blue eyes and a better than average physique, she might once have found him attractive, but in this mood she wouldn’t go for Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. “He’s okay, I guess.” Bev’s jaw dropped. “I guess? You’re either dead or joking.” Sayesha picked up her drink and sniffed. “Are you drugged? He’s seriously hot.” “He’s also probably gay.” She snatched back her drink and downed half the glass. Sayesha sighed and shook her head. “Not all men are gay. I know my Keifer isn’t.” Mischa wasn’t convinced. The shimmering neon haze reminded her of the druginduced world of Alice in Wonderland, and she knew she was lost in it never to return. “Well, most men are, and I obviously can’t tell the straight ones from the gay and bi. It’s too much heartache. I’d rather die an old maid.” Bev clicked her tongue as she winked at a hot brunette at the next table. “That’s just bad beer talking.” The bad beer sloshed around in her gut, and she ripped a loud burp. Not caring if all the men in the world heard as she didn’t care to attract a single one of them, she sank back in her chair. “I feel this way with or without the beer.” Sayesha rolled her eyes and climbed off her stool. “Let her drown in her sorrows. She’ll get over it soon enough.” Mischa glared up at her. “Never! Men are pigs.” Bev let herself be whisked away by the blond. “Well, if you won’t have fun, I will. Ta ta.” She wiggled her fingers and sashayed away on the arm of her cutie, her short skirt riding up her butt giving a glimpse of her cheeks.

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Sayesha scooted closer and yelled above the din. “Don’t let this guy win. Show him he’s not beaten you.” Swirling mist filled her brain, and she blinked several times as she noodled her friend’s words. There was a ring of truth, but it was getting bogged down in her drunken mire. “Huh?” Sayesha shook her head. “Show that good for nothing Steve that you don’t care. Don’t let him see you cry. Don’t let him ruin your life.” The words sank in, and she looked around at the roomful of men. Still, she wondered which ones were gay and still surmised that men were just sexual machines that didn’t care what they fucked as long as they found a warm, wet opening. “So I’m supposed to pretend to like one of these bozos just to get back at the jerk? I have to put myself through this with one of his team mates?” Sayesha tucked her hair behind her ear. “Okay, so pretend. Give the breed a chance. They can’t all be bad.” A snort escaped her lips. “I’ve not exactly had a good track record. Remember Todd? He took one look at my boss’s daughter’s bank account and it was bye-bye Todd.” She ticked off her fingers. “Let’s see. My own father left my mom when he found out she was pregnant with me.” Sayesha look astonished. “But your mom and dad are still together.” Mischa choked back a sob, wondering for the zillionth time why her real dad didn’t want her, why he’d left because of her, why he couldn’t love her. “That’s my stepdad.” Sayesha cleared her throat and veiled her gaze. “Well, they’ve been together a long time. They’re happy together, aren’t they?” She see-sawed her hand in a comme ci, comme ca motion.“They’ve never been deliriously happy. She wanted me to have a dad.” Joe was a good enough sort, but not the love of her mom’s life. “Gee, I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Sayesha munched on a pretzel then licked off the salt that clung to her lips. “I’m so lucky to have my Keifer.” Mischa swatted at her friend, hoping she wasn’t wrong about her man. Not long ago, she’d felt the same way about hers. “Brat. You trust your man with my blessings. I just don’t want to trust any man again.”

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“You’re hopeless.” When Keifer returned, he whisked Sayesha away to dance. Alone, Mischa felt sorry for herself. She traced the rim of her bottle with her fingertip. “Poor saps. They’re just setting themselves up for heartache.” A creepy feeling stole over her, as if someone was staring at her. She tried to shrug it off but couldn’t shake the feeling. Covertly as she could, she studied the room, dreading what she might find. About three-quarters of the way around the room, she found him. Steve lounged in a dim corner, spying on her. He had the nerve to look as miserable as she felt, his expression sullen, his eyes bruised and his cheekbones sunken. She rasped in a hot breath and almost swallowed her tongue. How fucking long had he been there, ogling her? Had someone tipped him off that she was there? Was this a set up? If it was, she was going on a murderous rampage. She grabbed her purse, jumped off her stool and swaggered towards the door. She dragged out her cell phone and tried to key in 4-1-1 to call a cab. Wobbly, her fingers kept hitting the wrong keys. Under her breath, she swore. “Come on. Work with me here. We’ll walk home if we have to, but I’d rather not.” She’d almost made it all the way to the door when Steve appeared in front of her and blocked her path. He loomed larger than life, an apparition that almost glowed, “Hi.” Is that all he could say after everything? She blanked her expression and squared her shoulders. She cursed the tingles in her toes. “What are you doing here?” “I’m here with friends. Like you are.” He had the nerve to look sinfully delicious, better than Johnny Depp at his best. It was so unfair. “That’s nice.” She didn’t mean it. She couldn’t wait to escape, and her every nerve ending screamed run! She stood taller on the balls of her feet, and her flesh itched. She tried to push past, but he moved in front of her. “Do you mind?” His lips firmed into a steel line, and his forehead creased beneath the lock of hair that always insisted on falling forward over his eyes. “Yes. I mind very much. I can’t let you leave drunk off your ass. Are you planning to drive and get yourself and maybe someone else killed?” She gasped, and when he took her arm in a vice grip and spun her around, she tried to jerk away. “I have no such intention. I just want to get out of this meat market.” And far far away from him.

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“Yes, let’s get out of here. It’s too loud. I can barely hear myself think.” Without skipping a beat, he turned her around. “We’ll go someplace quieter so we can talk.” She tugged at her arm to no avail, his fingers biting into her flesh. “What part of I don’t want to talk to you or be with you don’t you understand?” His lips set in an even more grim determination to match his purposeful stride. When they passed the bouncer, she called out, “He’s kidnapping me. Call the police.” The big brute merely saluted and said, “How’s it going, Steve-o?” “Not so hot, Bruce,” Steve said through gritted teeth. “Don’t call the cops. She’s safer with me than left on her own.” Under his breath he added to her, “If the cops see you, they’ll arrest you for being drunk and disorderly.” “Brute.” She seethed and flung her hair over her shoulder. “What do you want with me, anyway?” She was still at a total loss. He didn’t speak until they were outside under the starry sky, and the moonlight showered them. His footsteps clicked away on the pavement as he led her to his car and helped her inside. After he’d climbed in beside her, he reached over her and fastened her seatbelt. “This isn’t you. Don’t do this to yourself. I’m not worth it.” Breathing hard, tremors quaking in her belly, she refused to meet his gaze. “Why would you presume I’m doing anything because of you? That’s pretty conceited.” Steve brushed her hand and let his fingertips dwell. “Because I know you love me.” Her gaze snapped up with a vengeance. “Loved. Past tense.” She emphasised the ‘ed’. “I didn’t know you. Now I do.” “And I’m getting to know you better, too.” She sat up straighter and faced him, her knee bent on the seat. “If you don’t like it, leave me alone.” “You’re hurting. You’re reeling. This isn’t the time to make any hasty decisions. Let’s give this a chance.” Black mirth bubbled up. Disbelief flooded her. “Give what a chance? ‘Us’ as in the ‘three of us’?” She wondered if aliens had taken over his body, and she couldn’t understand why she was even listening to this nonsense except for the fact she was too inebriated to walk

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straight and feared she’d fall flat on her ass in the middle of Clifton, not a good part of town even in broad daylight, much less in the bewitching hours. He nodded as if nothing was amiss, except perhaps with her. “I’d like you to get to know Vin. He’s a good guy. I know you’ll like him.” That was so hilarious she regaled him with peals of laughter. “Like?” She envisioned them wrapped up in a threesome, a tangle of naked arms and legs, discarded clothes strewn across the room. “I think I have to do more than ‘like’ somebody to do what you’re proposing. That’s not me. You really never knew me, did you?” He moved back as if burnt and disgust filled his eyes. “I never suggested that. I just want you to give the man a chance.” “A chance for ‘what’?” “You’ve got a dirty mind.” He rammed the key into the ignition, ground the gears and sped off. The tires squealed and thunder boomed from out of nowhere as if he’d summoned it. Fat raindrops splattered on the windshield as if the sky cried on her behalf. “Me? Your buddy Vin suggested it.” Steve turned, his expression inscrutable. “When? He didn’t say anything to me.” “Recently he came to see me, to plead your case. Ask him if you don’t believe me.” The thought made her cringe again. “Where are you taking me? Bev and Sayesha will be worried. I have to call them.” She fished around in her purse for her phone. His knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. He took a turn too sharp, and it threw her against her seat belt. “They know you’re with me. I told them I was taking you home.” The traitors! She screwed up her mouth and focused on the dimmest sparkle of light in the sky, wishing she was there, anywhere but here in this stifling vehicle breathing the same air as the man who had broken her heart. “Some best friends.” “We all love you.” Steve’s voice rang with such sincerity, she knew her hearing must be wonky. No, she thought, with a grimace. She was the wonky one. She was still raw and even if the moon split apart she’d blame it on him. She told herself to get over him, to stop thinking deep down that the stars and sun shone solely because of him.

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She wondered how many women knew the kind of soul-deep agony she was going through. How many people doubted their sensuality? How many people would let a thing like this scar their soul so deeply? “I wish I could believe that.” Tears burned the backs of her eyes, and she blessed the darkness. No way did she want her ex to see her crying over him. She turned her face to the window, then saw her wide-eyed glassy expression and damned the reflective surface. Every time light shone in the car, it delineated her. So she looked down and let her hair curtain her face. Steve brushed her loose tresses away from her face, his fingertips grazing her cheeks. “Hey. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m not trying to. I hope you believe me.” Frissons of electricity sparked through her face and down to her heart as if trying to jump start it. But she didn’t want the thing to turn over and spark so she scooted over until she was up against the door. “I don’t know what to believe,” she whispered, her heart threatening to crumble again. A rogue tear escaped, and she blinked back several more. She didn’t want to swipe at it and alert him, but it was sliding down her cheek. She choked on a sob that refused to back down. Steve glanced over and swore under his breath. He pulled to the side of the road and killed the engine. Without her permission, he undid her seatbelt and pulled her into his arms. “Hey, it’s not the end of the world. We’ll get through this.” To her horror, the gentleness of his voice and his touch was her undoing. Her tears flooded the front of his shirt, and she couldn’t catch her breath because she cried so hard. “You still love me, don’t you?” It was a rhetorical question. Steve cradled her against his chest and rocked her gently. She wanted to scream “No!” but the lie wouldn’t pass her lips. She needed a Steve fix and like a junkie, she wanted just one more hit, then she’d go cold turkey. But she knew how crazy that was. She felt like she was one kiss away from Armageddon and knew she dare not chance even one tender caress so she tried to pull back. But Steve didn’t loosen his grip. He massaged her shoulders the way he knew made her melt as his warmth and pine scent seeped into her, further intoxicating her.

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The moonlight pouring through the windows didn’t help. It sprinkled him with its silvery sheen making him look divine. He moved back just far enough to wedge his arm between them. Sliding his finger beneath her chin, he tilted up her face so that she was forced to meet his searching gaze. “Every time I look at you, you take away my breath. Do you know how very beautiful you are?” Such pretty words from one that also thought other men were beautiful. She no longer took his words at face value. But she couldn’t discount the messages his body sent, his feverish flesh, his swelling cock rubbing against her, the questions shadowing his eyes. “Oh, okay! If it’ll make you stop badgering me, I’ll admit it. I still love you. I can’t just turn off my heart like it had a switch.” He inhaled deeply and looked heavenward. “Thank God. You don’t know how much I need to hear that.” Not finished, she sucked in a ragged breath and narrowed her eyes. “You may own my heart—for now—but you can’t have my soul.” Confusion crowded into his eyes. “Because of you, I don’t trust anyone anymore, especially not myself. We’re as far apart as East is from West.” “East meets West somewhere.” Despite his words, he released her. Hurriedly, as if her life depended on it, she scrambled back to her side. An invisible barrier shimmered between them. He turned the key, and the car roared back to life. She wished she could turn on and off as easily. She felt like he’d taken a Louisville Slugger to her heart. Bruised and bloodied, it would be quite some time before she was as bright and shiny as his souped-up car. Her head swam, and the street lamps felt like laser beams drilling into her skull. She decided the only escape from reality was to close her eyes and pretend he didn’t sit a mere two feet from her. But his scent wouldn’t release her. It permeated the car and teased her nostrils. Steve’s cell phone broke into an Eagle’s song. When he glanced at it, his lips stiffened into a grim line and he shoved it deep into his pocket without answering.

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She presumed it was Vin trying to track him down and that he didn’t want to tell her. Of course, she could be wrong as she was paranoid when it came to Vin. But she knew she’d always be suspicious when it came to Vin or men in general in conjunction to Steve. The vision of Steve wrapped around a naked Vin tormented her. She bemoaned her vivid imagination. It was a curse.

**** Steve steeled his heart against yet another rejection. He didn’t know how much more he could take. If he didn’t love her so much, he’d have been long gone. If he didn’t sympathise with what she must be going through, he’d also be gone. He wished again that he only loved one person, that his heart wasn’t divided in two. He wished he could just love one or the other and not both. He hadn’t planned to fall in love with the woman who stood gazing up at him as if he’d crucified her. He’d taken one look, and he’d been a goner. His protective instincts welled, and he took her elbow to guide her along the dark garden path. When she jerked away, he cursed himself again. He knew better, but he couldn’t help himself. “I want to make sure you get inside safely.” “Yes, I’ll be much safer inside.” He winced when the double entendre smacked him between the eyes. He tried to ignore the sting, but it was getting harder each time they sparred. His wounds were dangerously close to leaving permanent scars. He notched up his chin and stared her down, determined to walk away with his pride intact even if he felt as if they’d drag raced and he’d crashed and burned. “I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you really want, but first promise me something.” A wary glint lit her eyes followed by a quick flash of curiosity. At least, it was better than the murky lake of tears. She paused, poised with her key in the lock. “What’s that?” “Don’t let one bad experience turn you off love. Be happy.” She swayed as if caught off guard. “I…I’ll try.” Her words were cut off by another choking sob, and she yanked open the door and ran inside.

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The door slammed in his face. Only he was still reeling from the proverbial one even if his ears still rang with the crash of the physical one.

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Chapter Five

Steve spied Mischa, golden and ethereal, across the smoky bustling barroom. Alcohol, greasy fried foods, and cloying perfumes assaulted his nostrils. His heart flipped over, and he froze to the spot. Vin bumped into his back and knocked him forward. He put out a steadying hand on the guy in front of him to catch himself before making a spectacle. When the man glared up a him, he mumbled, “Sorry. I tripped.” “Something wrong?” Vin asked as they followed their waiter, weaving through throngs of people and tables set so close together their neighbours would be privy to their conversation, to their seats on the other side of the room. Unfortunately, he had an even better view of Mischa who sat alone toying with her food. Fortunately, she didn’t appear to have seen him. He couldn’t keep his mind on what Vin was saying and so he nodded and muttered “uh huh” every now and again. He watched the woman from beneath his lashes as he nursed his drink. “My mom was born on Mars and my dad’s from Jupiter,” Vin said. “That’s nice,” Steve muttered as he watched a tall blond jock sort join Mischa at the table. When the idiot linked his fingers with hers, Steve banged his glass on the table, spilling the liquid over his hand. Vin snapped his fingers before Steve’s nose. “Did you hear me?” Steve dragged his attention back to his lover and tried to block the woman from his mind. But his gaze kept veering. “Every word.” “Even the part about me being born as a horse and having plastic surgery so I look like a dog?” Steve almost swallowed his tongue. “Uh, it’s hard to hear over all this noise. Let’s go somewhere quieter.” Aching to escape, to put an end to his agony, he scraped back his chair and prepared to leave. Vin’s vice-like grip stilled him. “Not so fast, buster. I’m not blind. I see her.”

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Steve conceded defeat. “So let’s go. We don’t need this.” Vin didn’t budge. “Sit. You can’t run away every time you see her. I won’t let you.” Steve shot another glance at the couple in the corner. That guy was pawing his baby, and his gut roiled. Is this how she felt about him and Vin? He alternated between burning in hell and feeling sorry that he’d sent her there. Vin swore. “I’m getting mixed signals from you that I don’t like. If you want to call this off, just say the word, and I’m gone.” Steve’s heart stopped. “No!” rang off his lips. He couldn’t lose Vin, too. He kicked himself for jeopardising the treasure in hand for the one out of reach. “I wish I could explain, that I understood myself…” Vin gave him a small smile. “I get it. Remember, I’ve been through this when Nicole found out about you and me.” Nicole was Vin’s wife, but they hadn’t been engaged yet when she’d learned the truth about Vin’s sexuality and his relationship with Steve. Nicole, too, had baulked and broken up with Vin for a time. “Maybe we need to introduce Mischa to Nicole,” Vin said as if he could read Steve’s mind. Maybe that was why Steve felt so close to Vin. They understood each other. Vin seemed to know what he was thinking and feeling before he did. Steve pondered that as his gaze was once again riveted to the blond couple whose heads were bent together much too close for his liking. Talking out loud, he murmured, “Am I being selfish to want both of you and still want to rip that guy away from her?” “Probably, but you’re human. It’s a primal thing. You want to be the only man to make a baby with her, but you can’t make one with me, so that’s different.” Steve turned back to Vin. “That’s crazy.” Vin arched his brow and crossed his legs. “Is it? Would you be as jealous if she had a lesbian lover plus you?” Steve searched his heart. Somehow, that didn’t sound as threatening, and he wondered if Vin’s logic wasn’t so screwy after all. Or maybe babies and procreating were on his mind as Nicole was due to give birth in a couple months. “Nicky made peace with us.”

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Steve tried not to chortle in Vin’s face. Nicole liked to watch the two men get it on. It got her hot. “Mischa isn’t Nicole.” “My Nicky is one in a million. I’m a lucky man.” Envy filled him, and he wished with all his heart that Mischa was more like Nicole, that she would come around. Couldn’t she see it wasn’t the same? That he wasn’t cheating on her with another woman? His food had no more flavour than dust. He couldn’t stop watching Mischa. About fifteen minutes later, Mischa looked over. When their gazes first clashed, her eyes widened almost imperceptibly and her forked stood still half way between her plate and her mouth, then she looked away and became more effusive with her date. Steve’s heart wrenched at the reality before his eyes. Mischa looked to be enjoying the other man’s company way too much for his peace of mind. “How do you propose to get Mischa and Nicole together? Mischa won’t let us set up a meeting.” Vin tapped his chin as he peered at Mischa. “Tell me more about her, and maybe we can figure out something.” Painful as it was, they conspired until they formulated Mission Mischa.

**** Two days later, Mischa still couldn’t erase the image of Steve and his lover from her mind. Ghostlike, it haunted her. She tried to think about Glenn, the man she’d seen a couple times. He was a cute blond and even rather charming. He was the kind of guy she wished she’d go for, the kind she’d thought Steve had been. But she couldn’t get worked up about Glenn, nice as he was. However, he made her laugh and got her mind off Steve and Vin for an hour or so which was more than anyone else had managed. She headed into her gym for her before-work workout. Although she wasn’t a morning person and the sun was still sleeping, she forced herself to get her day started right. It wasn’t as if Steve was keeping her up late nights anymore. In fact, she’d been spending more and more of her time at the gym. It was better than sitting home stuffing her face with food and becoming a couch potato.

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She tightened her ponytail and showed her membership badge to the admissions desk. Mere moments later, she’d shed her outer clothes and was slipping into the pool. The water was exquisite, and she dipped beneath the surface to acclimate her body. She let the water sluice off her worries and smoothed back the bangs that flipped over her eyes, revelling in her sanctuary. The scent of chlorine wrapped around her like perfume. She loved the summery smell, and even in winter, it made her think of sunshine and warm, balmy breezes. Usually she was alone in the pool at this hour, but today, there was a very pregnant young woman wading on the other side. She smiled at her neighbour and broke into the front crawl, intent on getting in several laps before she went to the Jacuzzi then moved onto the tread mill upstairs. When she paused to catch her breath, the woman had moved closer and was pensively regarding her. Vaguely, Mischa wondered why but shrugged it off. “Hi, I’m Nicole,” the woman said, moving closer. She pulled up the errant strap of her bathing suit. Mischa looked around to see if anyone else was around. But they were alone. She pointed to herself and when the woman nodded, she said, “I’m Mischa. Hi.” “I know.” Waves lapped gently at the woman’s head that seemed to float on the surface. Mischa blinked. “You do? Have we met? She searched her memory but came up blank. She didn’t like being in the dark. Nicole shook her head. “No. We have a mutual friend.” She wondered who. Maybe someone back in school? “Oh, who?” She tilted her head. The woman paused as if taking a breath, and then said, “Steve.” The Steve? Mischa reeled and stared. She couldn’t speak. Nicole nodded. She looked down at her belly and laid her arm over it protectively. “I’m Vin’s wife.” A million questions bombarded Mischa but one uppermost. “Vin as in Steve Krashin’s…friend?” Nicole nodded. “That’s right, as in Steve and Vin.”

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At a loss for words, her question ringing in her ears so loudly it almost deafened her, she searched for a way to voice what she was dying to ask. Finally, she blurted it out, not knowing a decent way to couch it. “Do you know about…?” She couldn’t say it in case this woman was an innocent who didn’t know. What if it caused the expectant mother to go into labour? To distress her child? Mischa couldn’t live with that. Nicole chuckled. “If you mean, do I know that they’re lovers? Yes, I know.” Mischa’s knees gave out, and she slipped under water for a few seconds. She bounded up and gasped for air. Once she could breathe again, she asked, “You’re okay with it? I mean…” She splayed her hands, her gaze on Nicole’s baby. “Is it Vin’s?” Nicole nodded. “Of course. He’s my husband.” “I don’t understand.” She leaned against the wall and held onto the lip of the pool for support. “You don’t seem to mind.” The water undulated and licked her breasts. Then Vin’s voice came from behind, echoing in the large chamber. “We’ve surprised you, haven’t we?” Way more than surprised, Mischa jumped. Feeling suddenly naked in her skimpy bikini, she crossed her arms over her chest. Her mind clicked away at a lightning fast pace. “This isn’t a coincidence, is it? It’s a set up.” She didn’t like her next conclusion at all. Her gaze travelled the length of the room and back. They lingered on the foggy door to the steam room. “Steve won’t pop out next, will he?” She inched closer to the side, ready to climb out and walk through the lobby dripping wet if that was her only way to duck the wild pitch. “Steve wake up so early?” Vin laughed. “Think again.” Mischa was thinking so much it hurt. She shook her head. “I don’t know what to think.” Vin gathered his wife into his arms, moulding her against his chest. She laid her cheek against his heart and her arms snaked around his waist. Blissful contentment stole into Nicole’s beautiful eyes. Everything felt so surreal. Mischa couldn’t believe the evidence of her own eyes. “This is for real? You’re not Vin’s twin?”

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Vin put a possessive hand on Nicole’s belly. “This is very real.” With adoration overflowing his eyes, he looked down at his wife. “We’re very happy aren’t we, darling?” Nicole’s lips brushed her husband’s chest. “Very. I’d love it if you’d talk with me in private.” Mischa’s heart thumped wildly. Her gaze shifted to all corners of the room, reluctant to meet the hopeful one of her companions. “I don’t know…” “It’ll be just you and me. Please.” Vin tousled Nicole’s hair. “She doesn’t bite…hard…” Nicole play-punched him in the shoulder. “Turkey.” “I have to go to work.” For the first time in she didn’t know how long, she sought the clock on the wall. When she saw how late she was, she gasped. “Oh God. I’m in big trouble. I’ve got to run.” She might work for a charity, but her boss wasn’t very understanding. He felt like any infraction would hurt the poor. “I really have to run.” She pulled herself over the lip of the pool and angled for her towel. Nicole awkwardly climbed out of the pool. Waddling, she followed Mischa into the ladies’ locker room. Mischa detoured into the shower to wash off the chlorine and prepare for work. When she emerged, Nicole was waiting for her, shivering inside her wet towel, her teeth chattering. Worry for mom and baby welled up. “What do you think you’re doing?” Nicole shifted her feet as if trying to keep warm, and she drew the towel tighter around her. “I didn’t want to chance missing you. Let’s have dinner tonight at seven—just the two of us.” Mischa’s heart hammered so hard it was a miracle it didn’t break her ribs. “I…I don’t know. Nothing against you, but I don’t think it’ll change my mind. And frankly, this hurts so much I’d rather not dwell on it.” A commiserative smile curved Nicole’s cheek. “I understand, and I want to help. I think I can ease the pain. Please let me try.” Mischa stared at the woman, wishing she had that magical capability but doubting it. She asked the other question uppermost in her mind. “Why do you want to help me? You don’t even know me.”

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“I know Steve. And I’ve been where you are and I know what you’re going through. Call it paying it forward. Good karma. Whatever you like. What do you say?” At this point, Mischa would do anything short of exorcism to get rid of this lousy ache. She’d been considering hypnosis to forget the guy. “I guess. Write down your phone number and directions to where we’re meeting.” She paused as another missile hit her. “This isn’t an ambush, is it? Steve won’t be there, will he? I really couldn’t take that.” Nicole crossed her heart. “I promise he won’t be there—or Vin either. It’ll be just us girls.” Mischa breathed in relief, and her chest felt lighter. No longer did it feel as if a threehundred pound weight smothered her. “Okay.” They walked to the lockers where she hurriedly dressed, dried her hair, and applied her makeup. She was too aware of Nicole’s presence, and she felt uneasy. “When’s the baby due?” Nicole patted her belly, and her eyes twinkled. “Junior’s due in one month and twentyone days.” Mischa had to laugh. “You sound anxious. And it’s a boy?” Nicole nodded. “Vin wants him to be Vincent Junior. I want to call him Jeff. He needs his own name.” Mischa had once wanted a Steve Junior, and the thought smacked her square between the eyes. No way would she name her child Steve now, and no way would it be Steve’s—if she ever had a child. Unable to speak, she just nodded around the knot in her throat. “My baby shower’s next Saturday. I’d like for you to come.” Surprise hit her anew. “Me? You hardly know me.” Nicole combed her still-damp tresses, and their gazes met in the mirror. “I’m hoping we’ll become friends.” Several swear words slammed into her mind, but she wasn’t about to voice them. Once again, she reminded herself it wasn’t this woman’s fault. Her beef was with Steve. She wasn’t sure what she mumbled after that, but Nicole smiled, so it must have been appropriate.

****

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Even as Mischa walked up to Nicole’s door later that night, she wondered if she shouldn’t about face and run like hell in the opposite direction. She felt as if she was about to cross enemy lines and feared she’d be taken prisoner of war. Her fingers itched on her cell phone, ready to call and cancel the appointment. But her feet plodded forward as if they had a mind of their own. Battle raged in her mind. Should she or shouldn’t she? Eenie meenie miney mo echoed in her thoughts, and she also plucked petals off a proverbial daisy. How long she stood on Nicole’s doorstep, poised to flee, she wasn’t sure. Time seemed to weave in and out as she stared at the door as if it was a portal to another dimension. Yeah, the dimension of insanity. Was she crazy to have come? The house looked normal enough, clean and well kept. It didn’t look like a den of iniquity or a demonic mansion. There was no peeling paint, overgrown weeds or trash in the yard. It was an Average Joe house in the Groesbeck area, not a dangerous area of town like Clifton. It was a nice family area where toddlers rode their tricycles on the sidewalks and moms pushed baby carriages. Finally, she inhaled a huge breath and conquered her indecision. Steeling herself, she rapped her knuckles against the door. Not two seconds passed before Nicole ushered her inside a neat, cosy entryway that smelled of roasting beef and gravy, a homey scent that put her at ease. “I’m so glad you made it.” She grabbed her arm and propelled her down the hall. “I have to show you the baby’s room. It’s almost ready.” Mischa let herself be led, curiosity making it a pleasant journey. She wasn’t disappointed. The room was a fantasy world. Jungle animals were painted on the walls and ceilings. Life-size stuffed animals smiled from the corners, and the most beautiful spindle crib was laden with thick primary-coloured quilts in a matching jungle design. Delighted, Mischa’s eyes widened, and her smile matched. “He’s one lucky kid. I want this room.” “Vin’s been working like a dog to get it ready. He’s gone above and beyond.” Vin…

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The name vibrated between them as she ogled his handiwork. “Did he paint all this himself, you mean?” Pride glowed in Nicole’s eyes. “Yep. He’s quite an artist. He puts in several hours a weekend so it’ll be ready in case the baby comes early.” “He’s great. Does he do this for a living?” “Nah. It’s just a hobby. He’s an attorney. That’s where the big bucks are. But he’s had a blast doing this. It keeps him out of trouble.” Trouble… The elephant in the room crushed her. Why’d she have to be reminded? Why couldn’t she have a normal conversation without thinking about Steve and Vin…together…naked. If that wasn’t trouble, she wondered what was. “Have a seat. The roast’ll be done in a few.” Nicole said after she led Mischa to a small living room dominated by a large-screen TV and wrap around buttery soft leather sofa. Fresh flowers filled several vases, strategically placed around the room. Her hostess lowered herself into an armchair across from her. “As you see, our lives are pretty normal. We have a good life, and we love one another.” Mischa couldn’t take her gaze off the other woman. Her fingers played with the hem of her skirt, and she burned to go, to avoid this discussion. But she had to ask, “It truly doesn’t bother you that your husband has another lover? That you’re not the only love in his life?” Nicole’s face remained sunny. “It doesn’t. Steve and I meet different needs. And who says love has to come in a tight little box only between two people?” Mischa splayed her hands. “I don’t know. Everybody?” Nicole shook her head and frowned. “Not everybody. How many people do you love? Count your family and friends.” Mischa scowled. “That’s not the same kind of love.” “Haven’t you ever been attracted to two men at the same time? Truth now.” Mischa surfed her memories and found several occasions. But were they true love? “Well, sort of…” Nicole leaned forward. “Tell me, if you had to choose between Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, which one would you choose?” Mischa blinked at the impossible question. Her nerves quivered at the thought of two such luscious men. “I don’t know. They’re both uber yummy.”

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“What if you didn’t have to choose? What if you could have them both?” Nicole narrowed her eyes. “Wouldn’t you take both? I know I would. Hell, every red-blooded woman would.” The vision of being made love to by both actors made her squirm against the couch. Embarrassed, she tried to quell the unbidden reaction. Nicole’s laughter tinkled around her. “It’s the same thing. If I were to fall for a second person, Vin wouldn’t stop me, not that I’m looking. I’m happy.” “But don’t you get lonely?” Mischa wondered what it was like to be alone in that big bed knowing her lover loved somebody else, night after night. “Lonely? Heck no.” Nicole took a swig of her iced soda then set it back on the table. “It turns me on. I usually watch, and it gets me very horny.” She moaned and squirmed. Mischa didn’t know what to say, but the visions of two naked men getting it on weren’t exactly repelling her, to her shock. “Really? Honestly? Do you get it on with both of them?” She held her breath, awaiting the answer. Maybe Steve was getting it on with anything that walked. Nicole coloured prettily. “Uh, no. I suppose we could if we wanted. Vin wouldn’t stop us. But we’re just friends.” She exhaled a little at a time, her chest easing. “And yet, it turns you on?” She felt like a skipping CD, repeating herself. Nicole ambled over to the TV and sifted through a stack of DVDs. She waved one in the air. “Do you ever watch porn?” Mischa hadn’t watched porn before but felt like a prude admitting it. Reluctantly, however, she bit her lower lip and nodded, unable to voice her answer. “Gay porn?” Mischa choked and coughed. “No,” she finally spluttered. It had never occurred to her. “Do you mind if I pop some in now? I want to show you just how hot it can be.” Mischa’s breath scorched her throat, and her juices flowed again. “I…I guess we can try. You’ll turn it off if I can’t take it?” Nicole nodded then winked. “Will do, but I don’t think I’ll have to.” She set it up and then dimmed the lights. “This is my favourite one. It’s so hot. It makes me horny every time. I jump Vin soon as he gets home.”

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Mischa couldn’t take her eyes off the two male lovers on screen. Their tenderness, their obvious love and affection was the first thing to catch her attention. The second was their naked bodies, their swollen cocks and their pebbled nipples. Their eyes smouldered as they gazed upon one another then touched, gently at first. As their fervour grew, their cocks stood at solid attention. She curled her legs beneath her on the sofa, and her fingers dug into the couch’s arm as she watched. Her heart somersaulted in her chest when the men thrust their hips at one another as if their dicks were swords, parrying, circling each other and, finally, touching. They brought the heads of their cocks together and rubbed them against one another. Then they slid them down each other’s long lengths. They nested in each other’s wiry curls, caressed their lover’s balls with their cocks then drank of each others’ lips as if they were soul mates. Mischa rocked against the couch, rubbing her clit with her thumb, uncaring if Nicole noticed she had pushed aside the crotch of her panties to pleasure herself. Nicole was doing the exact same thing and had seen many more daring things than this, she was sure. The scent of their sex permeated the air, heightening the reality of the sex on screen. The musky odour made her swoon, and she laid her head back against the cushiony couch. “Didn’t I tell you this was hot stuff?” Nicole moaned and groaned and rollicked for real now. The men lubed each other’s cocks excruciatingly slow, so much Mischa wanted to scream at them to get on with the fucking. Finally, one got down on his knees and the other ran the tip of his dick down the other’s velvety crack. “Push it in already,” she mumbled beneath her breath. Nicole just laughed and pushed aside the crotch of her panties and slid her finger into her pussy. “I thought you’d like it.” Like it? Mesmerised was more like it. She couldn’t tear away her eyes from the hot lovers. When the brunette worked his cock inside his lover, and she could see only half his shaft, she came on her underwear. She wiggled and writhed and couldn’t stop finger-fucking herself. She was lost in the sex, in the delicious cocks. When the other man’s throbbing cock swung between his legs, red and swollen, when creamy cum spurted out, she exploded again. “Ohmigod. This is incredible.”

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Nicole licked her lips as her hips gyrated against the edge of her chair. “Told you. The sex never gets boring.” She slanted Mischa a sly glance once she was finally spent. “So… What d’ya think? Want to try?” Panting, coming down off her high, her hands sticky with her cum, she shot a suspicious glance at her new friend. “Try what?” “Getting it on with me.” Mischa inhaled sharply and wanted to run. Just because she found two men getting it on hot, didn’t mean she wanted a female lover. She didn’t work that way. Nicole waved her hand in the air. “Relax. I was just joking. I meant are you willing to give it a go watching our men?” Mischa waffled between being aroused in the abstract to still being jealous. Just because she had enjoyed watching two gay men she didn’t know make love, it didn’t mean she could stomach watching her fiancé, uh, ex fiancé, make love. “I…I don’t think so…” Nicole just stared, her eyes growing sad. “I’d hoped…” Very uncomfortable now, mortified at her wanton behaviour, Mischa cleaned up in the bathroom. Then she darted for the door. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’m just not ready. I’m not sure I’ll ever be.” “Wait! What about dinner?” Nicole followed her. Mischa looked at her watch. “I’m so sorry. I have another appointment I have to run to,” she lied. “I’ll call you in a couple days. Don’t be a stranger. I really want you to come to the shower.” “I’ll check my calendar.” Mischa had no intention of making an appearance or getting too friendly with Steve’s friends. Finally outside, she inhaled deeply of the honeysuckle perfumed air. Greedily she gulped, trying to get her balance, still disbelieving how she’d acted or how she’d felt.

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Chapter Six

Steve listened to Nicole’s story with a flare of hope. He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Thanks for trying. You’re true blue.” Nicole hugged him back. “I tried. Give her a little time. I didn’t come around on a dime, either.” Steve nursed a beer as he sank down onto her sofa and stretched out his legs. He stared at the ceiling feeling as if he was sinking. “So what’s your advice now? Do I sit back and do nothing while she thinks this over? For how long? Or do I woo her? How did Vin get through to you?” He wished he remembered although he was sure Vin hadn’t given him a blow-by-blow anyway. Vin piped up. “Do nice, thoughtful things for her, things she can’t resist. What does she like? Flowers? Candy? Balloons?” “Sushi,” Steve said with a rueful grin. He brought his gaze down to meet Vin’s. “She can’t get enough. She’d eat it for breakfast if she could.” “Ew.” Nicole held her mouth as her throat worked overtime. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” Vin made a slicing motion across his neck. “She’s got a weak stomach right now, dude. No fish talk.” Steve nodded, not wanting to see any gross stuff. But he had an idea. “She likes music, too. I could get her a bouquet of CDs and s—” He cut himself short. Vin gave him the thumbs up then continued to massage Nicole’s shoulders. “Give it a try. Don’t let her get away without a shot.” No, he’d never do that. He couldn’t live with himself. But he was getting very tired of waiting and being Mr. Nice Guy. He couldn’t wait, couldn’t keep trying, forever. She wasn’t the only one with feelings whose heart was breaking.

****

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The door bell pealed an annoyingly cheery tune for so early in the morning. Not expecting anyone, Mischa raised her groggy head and stared at the clock. Only seven-thirty in the morning on a Saturday. Oy! Her one day to sleep in was being interrupted and she was not happy. She lay back down and pulled her covers over her head hoping the uninvited guest would go away. But the pounding on the door grew louder and more frantic. Annoyed, she yanked off her covers, then pulled on a robe as she traipsed downstairs, and finger-combed her hair. “All right already. Stop your huffin’ and puffin’ and blowin’ my house in.” As was her habit, she glanced out the front window to make sure it wasn’t the big, bad wolf. It was her mother, complete with suitcases. Not much better some days. There were so many pieces of luggage it looked as if she was moving in with her entire neighbourhood. Consternation bit at Mischa’s ankles. “What are you doing here?” she mumbled under her breath as she stood in front of the door and tried to shake the tenseness from her muscles. First Steve and now this. How much could a person take? “I know you’re in there, Missy! I’m not going away. I’ll camp out here until you let me in,” her mom, Vicky, yelled as more hammering shook the door. Then her cell phone wailed with her mom’s ring tone. Her mom would, too. She’d shower with the hose in front of the neighbours just to make a point. She’d set up a bonfire on the stoop and roast marshmallows. Groaning, Mischa unlatched the door and swept it wide so her mom could make a grand entry. “Good morning to you, too. And why all the suitcases?” “Glad you noticed,” Vicky drawled as she minced inside leaving all her bags on the stoop. “If only you hadn’t run off that handsome fiancé of yours, he could bring them in.” Mischa gritted her teeth. “Drop it all ready, please.” Her mom flicked her wrist at her things. “Well, I’m sure you can manage.” Vicky swept in, her hair perfectly coifed, her nails perfectly done. and wearing designer clothes. She made a beeline for the living room where she plopped onto Mischa’s favourite lounger. “I’m sure,” Mischa mumbled under her breath, shaking her head. “Why are you here with everything you own? Did you and Joe have another fight?”

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“I wish you’d call him ‘Dad’. After all, the man raised you. He’s much more your father than that schmuck who donated his sperm…” Vicky went off into one of her tirades, her volume growing by several decibels. Mischa pulled and tugged at the bags. “What’s in these things? Everything you own?” “Of course! You think I’m giving up anything I own?” Mischa scowled, wondering why her mother wanted her to call the man she was leaving ‘Dad’? “I guess you gave him the house.” She made her third trip and swore when Jake scooted past her and into the neighbour’s yard. “That rundown shack? We’re upside down on it. I’m well rid of it.” Vicky ambled out and leaned against the wall as she studied her nails. She glanced up at Mischa gasping for air. “You really should get in better shape. You’re too young to be out of breath, dear.” “Maybe you should stop carrying rocks in your bags.” Her mom tsked. “I never would have been so insolent to my mother. I treated her with respect.” Well, maybe if she got some respect in return… Mischa bit back the reply. Her mom always had to have the last word so she might as well give up now or it would never end. “You can only stay three days.” She held up three fingers to emphasise her point. Vicky’s eyes widened with horror. “Three days! But I’m moving in. I have nowhere else to go.” “Not over my dead body.” She didn’t move the bags away from the door and thought about moving them back outside. Vicky started looking around. “Steve moved out so you’re all alone. There’s no reason I can’t move in.” At mention of her ex, Mischa’s lips curled down. “We’d kill each other. On second thought, go back to Joe now.” “My only child hates me.” But Vicky tromped inside anyway. Mischa tried to keep a pleasant expression on her face but glanced heavenward for help. “I don’t hate you, mama. But it’s really not a good idea.” “Come in here and tell me how you’ve been faring since you drove Steve away.” Vicky led the way back to the living room and patted the couch beside her.

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Mischa perched on a seat opposite and pushed her hair away from her eyes. “I don’t feel like discussing him…” Ever. Vicky made a moue of her lips. “You can tell your own mama. What are mamas for?” She began to give the bare bones to Vicky, her heart too sore to go into intricate detail. Five minutes into her story, the door bell pealed again. Who now? She glanced at the living room clock and grimaced. It was still too early for visitors. “Aren’t you going to get that? Are you scared of the door? You took forever to answer it for me,” her mother said, looking pointedly at her. Mischa glanced down at her state of dishabille but got to her feet with a sigh. “I’m not exactly dressed to answer the door.” Then again, anyone who had the balls to come at this hour had to take what they got. A nicely dressed young man in a business suit pleasantly regarded at her. “Are you Mischa Bennett?” “Yes. Why?” She’d never seen him before, and suddenly, she was glad she wasn’t alone in the house, not that her mother knew any kind of self-defence. The man pulled out a sheath of papers and thrust them at her. “You’ve been served. You have to appear in court on the twenty-sixth. Have a good day.” With a sunny smile, he tapped his heels together twice, pivoted and practically skipped away. Mischa’s heart sank. “Why me, Lord?” In shock, she closed the door but didn’t move her feet. Staying there, she squinted at the legalese that claimed she and Steve were being sued by their roofer for the funds in dispute. “What is it?” Vicky asked, peering around Mischa’s shoulder. Quickly, Mischa folded up the summons and stuck it under her arm, miffed at her mother’s nosiness. “Just something I have to take care of.” Another reason she had to talk to Steve unless she wanted to pay the entire nine thousand herself which she couldn’t even if she wanted to. She cursed the sucky morning. When Vicky grabbed for it, Mischa side-stepped the swipe and frowned. “It’s private. Do you mind?” Vicky pouted, and her eyes grew big and round like a puppy dogs. Her lower lip trembled. “But I only want to help.”

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So go back home with Joe… “Why is my family shutting me out? Why is it falling apart? I must be the world’s worst mother,” Vicky hung her head and shuffled back into the living room. “Would you make me something to eat for breakfast, baby girl. I think my blood sugar’s dropped. I can barely hold up my head. I feel so…so f…faint…” Mischa bit back a sigh and cursed herself for not moving to the Caribbean where there were no street addresses for her mother to find her. “Hurry, before I go into a coma. I…I’m fading fast.” Vicky’s voice drifted off. Mischa had been through the drill umpteen times. Although Vicky was diabetic, she wasn’t bad enough to take shots so Mischa seriously doubted a coma was on the menu. But it was easier to make a seven-course breakfast than listen to her mama’s moans and groans so she cracked a few eggs, put a couple of bagels in the toaster and brewed a pot of coffee. The phone rang the normal ring tone for people she didn’t know well enough to have assigned a ring tone to. Although no name was attached to the caller ID number, she picked it up and held it between her shoulder and ear as she flipped the eggs. “Mischa? It’s Nicole. Are you coming to the shower today? It’s at eleven.” Truthfully, Mischa had erased it from her mind. “Uh, I have an unexpected house guest. I can’t just leave her…” Although the idea sounded darned good. “Bring her with you!” Nicole sounded too chipper like one of those eternally happy people who annoyed the piss out of Mischa. “The more the merrier. Do you remember how to get here?” “She’s in a really rotten mood. She’d probably just bring the party down…” “Pish tosh! It’ll cheer her up. I won’t take no for an answer. Say you’ll come. Pretty please!” Mischa squeezed the phone tighter as she slid the eggs onto two plates and then buttered the bagels. “You really don’t know my mo…my friend.” “Sounds like you need a break then. I’d really like for you to come.” She was beginning to feel as if a salesman had talons in her and wouldn’t let go. She always said a resounding ‘no!’ in such cases, but then again, it was either that or deal with Mommie Dearest on her own for the entire day. “Okay. If she’s okay with it, we’ll come.” “Thank you! I can’t wait. Don’t feel like you need to bring a gift.”

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Shit! She hadn’t bought anything for the baby. She hadn’t showered. Her hair was a frickin’ mess. She was a mess. “Well, let me go so we can get ready.” She balanced the two plates and a glass of OJ like in her college waitress days into her dining room. “Come and get it while it’s hot.” “I don’t know if I can make it in there. I’m so weak.” Vicky sounded breathless. Mischa frowned wondering if for once Vicky wasn’t faking it. She set down her plate and took her mother’s to her. “Eat up. See if it helps.” She sat beside her and watched closely, trying to assess if she needed to call 9-1-1. “Where are your meds? Do you need to take them?” “Probably.” Vicky’s fingers fluttered towards the hallway. “It’s in one of the suitcases. I don’t remember which. Could you be a doll and look for it?” Mischa remembered very well why she’d moved out of the house the minute she’d graduated high school. But she searched through her mother’s cases until she found the diabetic kit and took it to her. But Vicky already looked much better. Her eyes were vibrant. Her skin tone was peachy. And her appetite seemed healthy as she was shovelling the food into her mouth. “I guess the food did the trick.” Still, Mischa handed her the medicine and stayed by her side. Vicky nodded. “Thanks, dear. I’m feeling much better. It’s hell getting old and out of shape. Enjoy your youth while you can.” Mischa merely nodded. Her glance strayed to the clock. “We were invited to a baby shower, but seeing as you’re not feeling well, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Vicky jumped out of her seat and stretched her limbs. “What? Not go? I wouldn’t make you miss it. I’m feeling much better. All I needed was a little food. In all the excitement this morning, I forgot to eat, but I’m better now.” She narrowed her eyes on her mom. “Are you sure? I really don’t know this person too well…” “It’ll be fun. I love parties. Sounds like you need to go out more, now that you’re single again.” “It’s not that kind of party.” She shook her head and yawned.

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“You never know where you’ll meet Mr. Right. Men are starting to go to these things, too.” That made Mischa stop dead-centre of the room. How true. Especially gay men. “On second thought, it’s really not a good idea. You need to go and lie down. Take it easy. I’m sure Nicole will understand.” Vicky took her arm and propelled her upstairs. “I told you, I’m fine. I want to go. It’ll be fun. It’s just the thing I need to get out of these doldrums. Baby showers are always fun.” Not if Steve and Vin show up. Bile rose in her throat. Maybe she should have told her mother the whole truth, not that it was her choice to ever tell her. It was just too embarrassing. The door bell rang again, followed by more hammering. “What now?” She’d gone for weeks, months, without one person knocking on her door and now this. About-facing, she marched to the door and yanked it open. Her surly neighbour, what’s his face from two doors down, shoved Jake none too gently in her face. “If I find this mangy feline in the my garden doing his business again, I won’t bring him back to you, I’ll take him to the pound.” Then he snorted and huffed away, his pointy chin jutted high. “Thank you!” She cradled her scared baby in her arms and shook her head. “Sorry that mean old man scared you.” She held the cat a few inches away and shook her finger at him. “But you have to stay inside. I have the meanest, cat-hating neighbours in the world. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” “Who was that?” her mother asked, her brows arched. “Oh, just the Bermuda Triangle Fairy.” She’d swear the place had been dragged over her home judging from all the strange goings on today.

**** Two hours later, breathless from a mad shopping excursion, they arrived at Nicole’s house carrying a big wrapped baby present. It wasn’t hard to find even if she hadn’t been there before as there were blue and green streamers leading from the front gate to the house

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and huge jungle animal signs worthy of an amusement park pointing the way. There were also a ton of people crowding into the house, men and women. Mischa steeled herself. Obviously Vin would be in attendance and if he was here… Her mom elbowed her in the ribs. “See? What did I tell you? Good hunting.” Mortified, Mischa pretended not to hear her mother. Even if she was on the hunt, which she was not, here would not be the place. Nicole hugged her tight as if she’d forgotten she had a big belly in the way. “I’m so glad you could make it. Welcome. Welcome.” Vicky batted her lashes at a handsome man and kicked Mischa in the shin. “What about that one? Hubba hubba.” “Please stop this, you’re embarrassing me,” she whispered in her mom’s ear. “I’m not looking for anybody.” Her mom whispered in her ear. “Don’t tell anyone I’m your mother. Today, I’m your friend.” “Whatevah.” But then she felt bad. She didn’t want her mother to get involved with someone who would break her heart, not that she thought her mom was serious about anyone but Joe. She was sure they’d make up soon enough. Besides, even if any of these men were straight, the oldest one was at least twenty years her mother’s junior. But just in case… “Look, uh, girlfriend. These guys aren’t right for either of us so don’t go getting any ideas.” Vicky’s brows knit together. “They’re some of the most drop dead gorgeous men I’ve seen in ages. Bite your tongue.” Mischa developed a headache and massaged her temples. She thought maybe a drink might ease her anxiety, and so she snatched one off the tray as it was carried by. She mingled, dragging her mother with her, not sure if she was afraid to let her mother out of her sight or if she was afraid to be alone. So far, she’d spotted no sign of Steve although Vin had popped his head into the room occasionally. Nicole appeared at her elbow and wrapped her fingers around Mischa’s arm. “I’d like you to meet our friends.” Mischa’s heart flipped over. She wasn’t about to take anything at face value where Steve and his friends were concerned, but she chided herself for becoming so jaded. Or was paranoid a better word? She winced.

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“Something wrong?” Nicole paused, her smile still pinned to her face although there was a trace of question in her eyes. “I hope not,” she muttered without moving her lips. She hadn’t intended to voice it aloud and didn’t intend to be rude. If Nicole heard, she chose to ignore it. She led Mischa and Vicky to two men and a woman, cosy on a love seat, and deep in conversation. One of the men, a blond, had his arm lazily looped around the woman who rested against him. “I’d like you to meet our good friends, Colin, Marie, and Rand.” Then Nicole gestured to Mischa and her mom. “This is Mischa and Vicky.” They all shook hands and exchanged niceties. Then Rand leaned over and kissed Colin. He smiled at Mischa and Vicky. “How long have you two been a couple?” Mischa sucked in her breath and kicked herself for coming, in particular for bringing her mother. She slid a glance to her mother who looked like a spectre. Vicky began to laugh until she doubled over. “She…and me? You’ve got to be joking.” She pointed to each of them. “We’re not like you. We’re not gay.” Mischa leaned close to her mom. “The term is ‘lesbian’,” she whispered as she folded her arms over her chest. After another deep tongue kiss with Rand, Colin turned and kissed Marie. He looped his arms around her. “Did Marie tell you, Nicole? We’re pregnant, too.” Nicole’s face became a thousand watts brighter and her smile stretched ear to ear. She clapped her mouth and jumped with glee. “I’m so happy for you guys. When’s the due date?” Vicky pulled Mischa aside. Even though she spoke to Mischa, she never took her gaze off the trio. “What is going on with these people? How well do you know them?” Mischa had a good, educated guess but didn’t want to acknowledge her culpability. “I only recently met Nicole through a friend of a friend. This is the first time I’ve met the rest of them.” “Would you look at that?” Vicky slanted her head at more men kissing one another. “Are they all gay? But the same men are also kissing women. And the women don’t seem to mind.” “Mind boggling,” she agreed.

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Vicky gasped. Her mother’s eyes widened, and she went ghostly white. “Is that your Steve over there? Kissing that tall man?” Mischa’s heart flipped over, and she echoed her mother’s gasp. She wanted to evaporate. “He’s not ‘my’ Steve anymore.” “But that is Steve Krashin, the man you were going to marry, right?” Vicky’s nails dug into Mischa’s wrist. Unable to deny the obvious, Mischa nodded. “Yes.” A wealth of misery and humiliation vibrated in that one word, and she tried to push back the tears that demanded escape. Nicole bounded up to them, still giddy. “Do you see how happy all of us are? We’re all married couples where the man has a male lover. Do any of the women look unhappy? Have I proved it to you yet?” Mischa tried to hold herself together even as she felt her mother falling apart beside her. “Nicole, Vicky isn’t my friend. She’s my mother.” Nicole gasped and she clamped her hand over her mouth. “Oh no! I’m so sorry. I wish you’d told me. I’d have never…” Vicky’s hands visibly shook. “Does this mean that Steve is one of them? That you’re trying to persuade my baby that this is okay?” Her voice shook worse. “One of ‘them’?” Anger lashed out in Nicole’s voice. “You say that like we’re tainted or worse.” Mischa didn’t want to get in the middle of a war, political or moral. “She’s just shocked. She had no clue. She didn’t mean it like it sounded.” She pulled at her mothers’ arm and began to back away. “I…I can’t believe it. Steve,” Vicky murmured. “Please forgive me, baby girl. I had no idea.” Perspiration drenched Mischa’s shirt, and she couldn’t wait to escape. “We’ll leave. I’m very sorry this happened. If I’d known, we wouldn’t have come.” Nicole held her stomach and breathed hard. A rueful smile curved one side of her mouth. “I guess I shouldn’t have tried to surprise you. We got the surprise.” She wanted to kick herself for going against her better judgment. “We all got a surprise.”

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Chapter Seven

Steve felt a small hand tug at his shirt sleeve, and he tore himself from Vin’s lips to look down into Nicole’s troubled eyes. The vibes rolling off her were all wrong, totally different than her ebullience of a few minutes prior. “We’ve got big trouble on the home front.” Nicole’s voice was not her normal, chipper one. It held a wealth of regret and sadness. Vin released him and wrapped himself around his wife. “What’s wrong, babe? Did something happen?” “Oh, yeah. You might say that.” Nicole rubbed her forehead and leaned against Vin. “Mischa showed up with her mother. Only I didn’t know it was her mother, and I put Mission Mischa into action.” Oh, no! Steve’s throat constricted, and his heart fell to his feet. Mischa’s mother knew? “That’ll complicate things.” Vin clapped him on the back. “You’re a master of understatement.” Steve shook his head. “Can you say blown out of the water?” He looked to Nicole. “Can you imagine telling your family about our arrangement? How would they react?” “Oh, about like Mischa’s mom, I s’pose. Not very pretty. Society’s not ready for multiples, it seems.” “Bugger,” Steve said, imitating his Aussie grandfather. “If I had a chance, that just killed it.” A stranger wearing a business suit sauntered up to them. “I’m looking for Steven Krashin. Do you know where I can find him?” Vin exchanged worried looks with Nicole. “What’s this about?” The well-dressed man who looked to be about their age, looked down his nose. “Are you Mr. Krashin? This is a private matter.” Vin glared at the crasher. “This is a party, dude, and it’s my house, and I don’t remember inviting you.”

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“So you aren’t Mr. Krashin? Do you know if he’s here and who he is?” “What do you want with him?” Nicole asked. “I can only answer to Mr. Krashin.” The man jutted up his chin. “This is my house, and you’re trespassing. Please leave,” Vin said. Nicole nodded, punctuating her husband’s every word. Steve appreciated being protected, but he was curious what the man wanted. He held up his hand. “What do you want? I’m Steven Krashin.” “Can I see some ID?” “Am I under arrest or something?” “I need to see your ID first, please.” Vin stepped forward. “Answer the man’s question or leave.” He flipped open his cell phone. “I’m two secs away from calling the cops and having you escorted out.” Steve showed his ID. He didn’t like this, but then, he didn’t like how the day was going in general. “Okay, so what’s the mystery?” The man thrust a folded sheath of papers into his hands. “You’ve been served. You’re being sued.” The man pivoted on his heel and strode out, head held high. “Sued?” Vin and Nicole said in harmony. Vin reached for the papers. “Let me see that.” Steve usually had no problem showing Vin his legal stuff as Vin did all his legal work. But he wanted to read it first. “Keep your grubby hands off. Give me a chance to look at it first.” He glanced over it and frowned. “Damned shyster. I told him I’m not going to pay for bogus stuff.” “What stuff? Talk to me,” Vin demanded, grabbing for it again. “Uh uh uh. I’m still reading.” He saw that Mischa was also being summoned. An idea struck him and he turned to his attorney. Finally he handed the papers over. “Tell me, will Mischa have to talk to me if we fight this?” Vin skimmed the paperwork, nodding every now and again. “I need more information, but probably. Tell me about it after the party.” Steve felt a bit better but chafed until the party was over and the last person had left. An idea started to formulate in his mind.

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**** Boy did Mischa ever long to hit something. Before she put a hole in her wall, she took her mother back to Joe to let them duke it out and then headed for the batters’ box. Although she hadn’t played softball since college, she still enjoyed batting—especially when she was upset. Right now, she was livid. Instead of buying her normal twelve dollars worth of token, she handed over a hundred dollars, earning her a commiserative smile from the pimple-faced, gap-toothed kid at the desk. He knew her too well. “Something eating at you?” “Something,” she muttered. No way would she corrupt a minor with such adult stuff. Not that she was into airing her private affairs. “We close at nine,” he said even though the clock said it was merely five. She shot him an evil grin, even though she had no intention of using the whole booty today. But she knew without a doubt she’d want to use it soon the way things had been lately. She might as well get the economy rate. She donned her helmet and slugged the hell out of the ball. It was easy to smack when she saw Steve’s smirk on the surface of each one flying at her. A few had Vin’s smug visage, also. She’d never batted so well, so hard or so far, with so much accuracy and consistency. “You’re out for blood tonight,” Steve drawled behind her. She faltered and missed the ball. Swallowing hard, she hoped it was just her imagination that made the masculine voice sound like Steve’s, but she feared it wasn’t. She’d made the unfortunate mistake of bringing him here when she thought she could trust him. Damn the guy! He knew her too well. She’d have to change her MO. With balls whizzing at her and her heart racing, she tried to keep her focus on the deadly missiles, but her hitting average took a nose dive. “Just imagine my evil mug on those balls, and you’ll whack the shit out of them,” Steve continued with a sarcasm that made her grip the handle until all the blood drained from her knuckles. She didn’t wait for the round to finish, but whirled on him. Seething, she stared at him through the criss-crossed fence, wondering that he was so brave—or was it so very stupid—

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to face her down when she held a Louisville Slugger in her hands. He knew it was her weapon of choice. “Can’t I get away from you? Am I going to have to go into the Witness Protection Program in order to escape your evil clutches?” A grimace destroyed the perfection of his beautiful face, but he was still more gorgeous than ninety-eight percent of the men out and about. Then he waved a sheath of white paper in her face as if she was a bull. “No can do, sweetheart. Leastways not if you don’t want to go directly to jail.” Huh? Then she gulped, afraid of his meaning. “You got served, too, didn’t you?” He peeled open the pages. “Both our names are on the dotted line. Of course, I got served. Unless you’re ready to pony up the full nine thousand dollars this swindler wants, then we have to work together.” She could swear there was a gleam of satisfaction in his eye as if he was in cahoots with the creep. Maybe he’d persuaded the guy to sue them or brought it on by not making the agreed upon payments. As she gave up on her sport for the day and threaded her bat inside her helmet’s mask to carry, she fell into step beside him. The cages were crowded with kids as usual on a Saturday, so the noise reverberated off the ceiling, crushing in on her. She had difficulty hearing. Conscious of all the tender ears around, she said in a low voice, “Let’s take this somewhere else.” When the sunlight pierced their eyes outside on the sidewalk, Steve guided her towards the chilli parlour at the far end of the strip mall. “I’m starved. We can talk over food.” As her own stomach was grumbling, she didn’t quibble. She couldn’t deny they needed to discuss the lawsuit. She chafed while they ordered and then mumbled around a mouth full of garlic bread, “So, what do you think we should do?” Steve swirled the soda in his glass and stared into it as if it was a crystal ball. Then he looked up and pinned her gaze. “Well, we’re not going to pay that joker.” Her brows knitted. “We’re not?” She listed forward, leaning on her elbows. “Won’t they garnish our wages? Or take the house?”

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Steve rubbed his chin and stared at her thoughtfully for a few minutes. “That’s what they’d like to do. Or raid our assets.” She recalled his earlier assertions. “You don’t seem to think we owe them. Why not?” He’d been handling the business arrangements, and now, she wished she’d been more involved so that she didn’t have to rely on him. “The original contract, what insurance agreed to pay, was twelve thousand less. We already paid three thousand more than the bill. They’re trying to hold us up.” She didn’t like the sound of that. “So what can we do?” “Vin said he’d represent us.” “Vin’s an attorney?” After she mouthed the words, she remembered Nicole had told her he was. “It’s good to have lawyer friends.” As long as they weren’t as friendly as this one. She choked back a grimace. Steve nodded. “If I have your okay, I’ll let him handle this for us. We need representation. But we’ll have to meet with him—together.” The food arrived, steam rising from their plates in little tendrils. Using the side of her fork, she cut a square out of her chilli spaghetti and held it aloft to let it could cool. He dug into his three-way, gooey cheese stringing from his lips as if it tied him to the plate. She supposed it was inevitable they had to meet with their attorney, and she assumed that Vin wouldn’t charge his lover which was her kind of price, so what choice did she have? “So when are we meeting with him?” Steve swallowed his food then held up a finger. “Give me a sec, and I’ll find out.” He flipped open his cell phone. After a quick and muffled conversation, Steve answered, “Can you go now? When we finish here?” Now? When she was hot and sweaty and smelled like a combination of hot dogs, mustard, and chilli? When her hair was tied on the top of her head like a teenager? Then again, what did she care what they thought of her, and the sooner they met, the sooner this whole mess, both messes, could get over. “Sure. Let’s do it.” Steve smiled and dug into his dish.

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Surprisingly, her appetite was quite hardy, and she dove into hers, too. They managed to get through the meal without her wanting to kill him, which she considered a plus. Somehow, she doubted that would cheer him. “Do you remember the way?” Steve asked as he walked her to her truck. “Or would you rather we ride together, and I’ll bring you back here afterwards?” “Uh, I really don’t want to leave it here,” she lied. What she really didn’t want was to get stuck in a confined tight spot with him again. “I remember the way.” “Just call me if you take a wrong turn.” He hopped into his car and drove off. Mischa’s truck groaned and struggled but wouldn’t turn over. She gave it more gas, but it still refused. Finally, it stopped talking to her altogether. “Just great. Another bill I can’t afford.” Maybe she’d have to find a higher paying job now that she didn’t have Steve’s income to help. She opened the door and perched on the edge of her seat to ventilate the cab. Even at night, it was too warm to sit in a closed vehicle. As she was flipping open her phone to let Steve know she wouldn’t be joining them after all this evening, he drove up. “Something wrong? I lost you.” Although she knew he meant no double meaning, she felt a pang. He’d lost her all right. This might have been the last time she’d have followed him anywhere. There had been a time they’d followed one another everywhere, or so she’d thought. Apparently not… She gave herself a mental shake. Brooding over the past wouldn’t do her a bit of good. A tight grin stretching across her face, she said with a wave of her hand, “The truck doesn’t want to start. It ran fine earlier. I was just going to call the road service.” She wiped a bead of perspiration off her forehead. Under her breath, she muttered, “That’s all I need is another bill.” Her mind worked furiously at possibilities. Bankruptcy? Selling her share of the house to Steve and moving to somewhere cheaper? Taking a roommate? Looking for a higher paying job? Or maybe a combination of some of the options? One thing was for sure, she couldn’t handle the bills she already had if something didn’t change. This split up reached beyond her heart and into her pocketbook. Steve opened his passenger door and crooked his finger. “Get in. You can wait in AC while I take a look at it.”

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Not wanting to be enclosed in a tight space with him, she shook her head. “I’m okay. Really, I’ll call AAA.” “Get in.” His voice brooked no argument. As she climbed into his car, he checked out her truck. After he lowered the hood, he sauntered back and grabbed a towel from his trunk and wiped the grease from his hands. He climbed in, and immediately, she felt crowded. “I’m not one hundred percent positive, but I think you need a new alternator.” She scrunched up her nose and retrieved her mental check book. Anything from zero was a negative balance. She had a little credit open, but she was saving that for an emergency… Well, she supposed this was it. “Peachy. That’s all I need.” “I’ll give you a lift, and we’ll get the truck towed to the shop.” Without waiting for her reply, he called AAA and gave them the information. After AAA towed away her vehicle, Steve smoothly pulled into traffic. Staring up at the twinkling heavens, she leaned back against the seat. She wondered how it could look so magical, so serene when she was down here running around in circles? “Pretty night, isn’t it? It’d be nice to take a spin on the boat…” When she turned to look at him, her hair brushed her cheek. Narrowing her eyes at him she wondered if he was hinting they should take it out together? She usually ended up naked and wrapped around him when they went out on that boat… Memories of their last night on the boat brought heat into her cheeks. Her thighs trembled, and her nipples tightened. They had never found her bikini top. She assumed the barge’s engines cut it to shreds. If not, it would have washed up on shore leaving the finder wondering. She didn’t want to get sucked into those dangerous memories and so lifted her head and squared her shoulders. “Maybe we should sell the boat to pay off the roof,” she thought out loud, at once liking and hating her idea. Despite what she said, she was fond of the runabout, too, but it’d be worth unloading it to be worry free. Horror pinched Steve’s face. “Sell my boat? You can’t be serious.” “‘Our’ boat. It’s a money pit anyway. And the house, too. I can’t afford all this on my own.”

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She twisted in her seat and stared at him. “Unless you can afford to buy me out?” She didn’t think he could but she asked just in case. Maybe his good buddy Vin would come up with some cold hard cash to help him out. Steve paled, and his knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. He glanced over at her, his lips so tight they thinned into a line. “We wouldn’t have to sell anything if you wouldn’t be so stubborn. I love you. I want to marry you. We’ll be fine if we’re together.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. Exhausted and disheartened, she couldn’t do this. In a low murmur, she said, “Marriage would only create more problems, not fix them.” “I don’t agree.” “Fine. We’ll agree to disagree,” she said and emphatically shook her head and turned away. “I didn’t agree to disagree,” he said and grumbled under his breath. “Either way, I don’t agree with you.” Steve swore and banged his hand on the steering wheel. Fortunately, they were soon there. Groesbeck was Colerain’s neighbour so even in rush hour traffic it didn’t take long to travel the distance, just four chilli parlours away, maybe five, all of about three miles tops, and they pulled into Vin’s drive. She steeled herself for another brainwashing session. She didn’t which was worse, being around Nicole and her mission or being subjected to a rabid Mary Kaybot. Both wanted to indoctrinate her to their cult and suck out her soul. At least, with Nicole’s version, she’d get sex occasionally and keep her money. Her wicked thoughts made her blush. She turned her face away from the sun, wishing she’d untied her hair to curtain her expression. “You okay?” Steve asked, as he escorted her up the stairs. “Hunky dory.” When she said sickening sweet stuff like that, she knew he knew she was anything but and she didn’t care. “Uh huh.” Steve didn’t sound like he believed her. Unfortunately a small part of her did still care for him, and she couldn’t deny it although she tried to argue with the contrary voice in her head that it shouldn’t. But it was as useless as arguing with her cat when he was intent on stealing a piece of coveted chicken.

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Nicole opened the door a few seconds before they reached the door, as if she’d been peering through the curtains, waiting for them. When her gaze alighted on Mischa’s, her eyes grew big and watery. She flung herself into Mischa’s arms and almost knocked her to the ground. “I’m so so sorry. If I’d any clue that was your mother… I’m so mortified. I’d have never…ever…” Mischa tried to breathe, but she was being squeezed too tightly. Finally she managed to choke out, “Mom’s a big girl. She’ll survive.” With a grim set to his lips Steve ground out between his teeth. “But she’ll hate me forever more.” Mischa couldn’t help her mother’s feelings. Pictures were worth a thousand words, and Steve had given her a movie. However, since they were no longer a couple, she splayed her hands and shrugged. “Why does it matter anymore?” Steve shook his head. “Let’s drop it for the moment. Okay?” Fine with her. She wanted to drop it forever, so she nodded. “Okay.” As she stepped over the threshold, she felt as if she was crossing enemy lines. They remained mute until they greeted Vin a few minutes later. “Let’s retreat into my office,” Vin said, businesslike, his expression neutral. Nicole giggled. “He means the second bedroom.” “My office,” Vin repeated taking long strides down the hall. It looked as if someone had camped out on the couch in the office, and her glance slid to Steve. Of course! He’d had to go somewhere since he’d moved out of their house. She angled for the chair refusing to touch his bed. Sitting in the closed room with the two men, she shivered. When they both turned to look at her, she felt as if she was on trial. Steve claimed the chair beside her, then Vin positioned himself behind his desk. The attorney linked his hands atop the work surface and leaned forward. “So, tell me what’s going on.” She motioned to Steve to start since he had been the one to deal with the roofers. Steve presented the legal documents to Vin then gave their side of the story. Vin jotted notes on his blotter as Steve spoke. Periodically he shook his head or went, “Um hm.”

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Her glance ping-ponged back and forth between the men. Uncomfortable, she shifted her weight and leaned against the arm of the chair closest to them. When Steve finished, Vin looked at her. “Do you have anything to add?” She wasn’t sure this was the place, but not sure when she’d have the advice of a free attorney again, she nodded. “I can hardly afford to make house payments let alone come up with this fee. What’ll happen if we don’t pay it?” Vin pursed his lips for a few moments. He shuffled through the pages again, this time taking longer than his initial peek. When his brow furrowed, her stomach twisted. “Is it that bad?” Vin peered over the rim of his glasses. Then he straightened. “Unless the other side has something you’re not showing me, I don’t think you owe this.” A relieved sigh escaped her, and her chest felt lighter. But her fingers still clutched the edge of her chair. “So do we have to go to court? Or what?” Vin leaned back in his chair and rocked for a few moments as his forehead wrinkled. “Give me a few days to dig a little deeper, but I don’t think it’s as bleak as you fear.” Steve reached across the desk and heartily shook Vin’s hand. “Thanks. I owe you.” Mischa cleared her throat. She couldn’t leave it at that. “’We owe you. Thank you very much.” Vin nodded and looked down as if suddenly shy. “No problem. What are friends for?” The door opened a notch and Nicole stuck her head inside. The smell of rich gooey chocolate and baking cookies wafted around her. “Anybody hungry? Fresh cookies.” She offered around a tray full of the sugary delights, laughing lightly when the men attacked the offering. Mischa’s stomach grumbled as she appreciatively sniffed. When it was her turn, she popped one into her mouth. Vin put his arm around his wife. “At this rate, I’m going to weigh four hundred pounds before this baby’s born.” Confusion spiralled around Mischa. Her gut twisted, and she wanted to rub her eyes. Vin and Nicole seemed so homey. So normal. So happy. She detected no traces of jealousy or weirdness as she’d anticipated. It all seemed so surreal that she wondered if she’d dreamed Steve’s revelation. At the last second, she stopped herself from shaking her head.

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“Well, uh, thanks again. I have an early morning so I have to beg Steve to take me home.” She turned to him. “Do you mind?” Steve made a moue of his lips and shrugged. He looked to Vin. “We’re finished for now, right?” “There’s nothing more we can do tonight. And Nicole looks tuckered out, and she needs her rest. Only four weeks and counting.” Nicole pouted. “I hope he doesn’t take that long. I can barely breathe, and I look like a bowling ball.” “A very cute and exquisite bowling ball,” Vin said as he stole two more cookies. “Next time you’re getting pregnant.” She stuck out her tongue at her husband. “You can see how it feels to be a beached whale.” “If I could, darlin’, I would, but it ain’t possible.” Vin walked them to the door. He tweaked Mischa’s chin. “Buck up. It’s not a death sentence.” She tried to smile, but the reminder pulled her down. She knew she worried too much and would try harder not to dwell on it. “It helps to know you’re on our side.” Nicole waved goodbye as she leaned against her husband. “Don’t be a stranger.” Mischa waved noncommittally. “Goodnight.” As they returned to Steve’s car, her ankle went out without warning as it was wont to do and she crumpled to the grass. When she tried to catch herself, she twisted the wrist she tried to save herself with. “Damn!” Immediately, Steve knelt beside her as he swore under his breath. “Are you okay?” His fingers were already removing her sneaker then her sock. He prodded her foot as if he was a medical expert. “I thought you were going to see a doctor about this.” “I meant to, but we’re so busy at work, it’s hard to get time off.” He sucked in a sharp breath. “It’s supposed to be a ministry. You’d think they’d be more understanding. If you can’t walk, you won’t be able to get to work at all.” She rolled her eyes as she struggled to her feet. “It’s not that bad. It happens all the time…” “Exactly why it should be seen.” He put his arm around her and tightened his grasp when she tried to pull away, forcing her to lean against him.

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His warmth seeped into her. Its tendrils wove around her sinews, insinuated itself into her joints. It travelled down to her toes, into her fingertips and crawled up her neck. It pounded at the steel gates protecting her heart. When the gates bowed, she reinforced her defences and tried to recall why she was angry with him. Instead, she could only come up with arguments in his favour. He wasn’t any less loving to her. He was still as attentive. He was still a nice man. And an ultra sexy, intoxicating man who inebriated her senses. His clean masculine scent was tinged with spice and mingled with the night blooming flowers lazily hanging over the nearby fence. The moon gleamed silver on his blue-black hair that called her to sift her fingers through it. She wondered if the chocolate lingered on his lips, and she sniffed before she could stop herself. She wasn’t sure if it was fortunate or deadly that they’d reached his car. She felt like a different person, but who she’d become, she wasn’t sure.

Steve detected a shift in Mischa’s attitude, but he wasn’t sure if it boded ill or well for him so he remained silent and turned on the radio. Jazzy romantic music filled the car, accentuating the rich hue of the night. The stars seemed to twinkle with the lazy rhythm, and he was lost in a different world. He no longer felt so anxious, so lost, as he had since she’d broken their engagement. But he was worried about her. She had admitted to being under too much pressure and his protective instincts swelled. When he pulled into their house as he still thought of it, he didn’t want to leave. Damn it, he shouldn’t have to! “I’ll help you inside,” he murmured, afraid she’d injured herself worse than she’d admitted. She still looked pale and drawn. She shifted awkwardly in her seat and tried to unsnap it with her left hand. The way she moved made him frown. Something wasn’t right, and it had nothing to do with the ankle. He focused on her movements then realised what it was. She was right handed so why was she only using her left?

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“Here, let me do that.” Before she could push him away, he reached across and undid the belt. Leaning across her lap, he unlatched the door and pushed it wide. Her mumbled thanks were barely audible above the symphony of crickets. She half turned and proffered a small smile. As she yawned, she said, “Thanks for everything, but I’ll be fine now. You don’t need to stick around.” He didn’t like the obvious brush off and strode to her side. He didn’t care what she said, he was going in. “How do you plan to get to work tomorrow?” She shifted uneasily and looked away. “I’ll see if Sayesha or Bev can pick me up. If not, I’ll call a cab.” “A cab would cost a fortune.” A frown marred the beauty of her face. “Yeah, but I’m almost out of sick time.” “I’m staying over.” Her eyes widened with fear. “No! You can’t…” She bristled, but he didn’t care how prickly she got. “I can. You need my help.” She crossed her arms over her chest and heaved a sigh. She seemed to look inwardly then said, “Well, okay, but no funny stuff. I’ll freshen up the bed in the guest room for you.” “Don’t worry about it. I’ll do it after I see you’re okay.” He locked up and supported her up the stairs, ecstatic to be home. He missed this place almost as much as he missed her. He hated the idea of selling, but if she wouldn’t come around, they’d have little choice. When he tried to follow her into her bedroom, she rounded on him and blocked the door. “Oh no, you don’t. Not one step further or you can turn yourself right around and leave altogether.” He held up his hands even as he struggled not to look at ‘their’ bed or the night stand where they kept their lovemaking accessories. “My intentions are nothing but honourable. You’re favouring your ankle and your wrist so all I want to do is turn down the covers for you and get out any night things you need.” Her eyes narrowed as if assessing him. Finally, she nodded and moved aside. “Thanks,” she mumbled. He noted a fancy gown hanging on her closet door and with a start remembered the wedding they’d been invited to the following week for Keifer and Sayesha. He made a

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mental note to take his suit to the cleaners and polish his shoes. He was not going to miss the nuptials. When he saw that her clothes were spread out on his side of the closet, pangs attacked him. It was as if she’d wiped him out of her life. He pushed the suckers aside as best he could. She must have seen him regarding her gown for she said, “I, um, won’t be going to the wedding. It would be kinda awkward.” A frown tugged at his lips. Disappointment flooding him, he grunted then said on a growl, “No, you go. They’ll want you there. If I’m the problem, I’ll stay away.” She swallowed hard but didn’t say anything else. She slipped off her jewellery and hung it in its box then hesitated. “I’ll be fine now. Good night.” “Sweet dreams,” slipped from his lips before he could stop the old nightly ritual. She gaped at him but stood like a rock beside the bed. Shaking his head, he strode from the room. It took all his strength not to slam the door behind him or stomp down the hall. Fury bit at his ankles, but he refrained from hitting anything. Maybe staying here wasn’t such a good idea. He thought about just leaving. She wasn’t dying. She could call a friend if she had trouble in the morning. But when he stood on the threshold to the outside, he couldn’t leave. “Damn!” Why did he still care so much when she kept pushing him away? Despite the late hour, he went downstairs and worked out on the treadmill until he was too tired to think.

**** Mischa pushed the boat’s throttle as hard as it would go, but the ravenous sea monster gained on them. When it roared, it almost capsized the little runabout. Her heart hammering her ribs, she almost fainted, but she clung to her mission. If she faltered, the dinosaur would overtake and devour them. Steve screamed, “Faster!”, but she was already pushing the boat beyond its limits, and it felt like it was about to shake apart.

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She took a fork in the river then rounded a bend, hoping to lose the beast. “Is it still there?” she rasped out, hardly able to breathe. Panting, Steve joined her. “I don’t think so. I don’t see it. We have to dock and find a fast car.” They rounded another bend, and with a ferocious roar, the monster rose out of the water before them. It bellowed a gigantic roar and snatched her away from Steve. Screams gurgled in her throat then let loose as it lifted her towards its mouth. “What’s wrong?” Steve yelled and frantic hands shook her. She blinked, shocked but delirious to be away from the fiend. She threw herself into Steve’s arms and burrowed against him. “Is it gone? Are we safe?” Steve put her from him and stared at her. “Is what gone? You were having a nightmare.” A nightmare? She gulped and feeling foolish, the reality of her bedroom seeped into her slowly awakening conscious. Still trembling, the fear bone-deep, she burrowed against Steve’s warmth. “It seemed so real… It was going to eat us…” Violent shudders shook her again and she clasped Steve to her. “Don’t let it get me.” Steve stroked her hair. “Shush. You’re safe. I won’t let any harm come to you.” The richness of his voice wrapped her with the security she craved. His body was so warm and felt so good against hers. His cock flexed against her stomach, and her pussy clenched in answer. “Don’t leave me. I…I don’t want to be alone.” She still felt hazy, half awake and half asleep. She wasn’t sure that the monster wasn’t real and waiting to grab her if left alone. Steve grunted but scooted further onto the bed and gathered her closer to his heart. “Are you sure?” he mumbled against her ear, his lips soft and intoxicating. Tremors kept her off balance, and she nodded. When his soft lips and scratchy whiskers brushed her cheek, desire rippled through her. Huskily, she whispered, “Yes. I need you.” “I need you, too,” he mumbled as his hands began to roam her body, starting with the small of her back. They crept down to the edge of her nightgown and lifted it slowly, inexorably. “Lift your arms over your head.”

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Yearning for his heat, his touch, his mind-numbing kisses, she lifted them high and sat up so he could divest her of her annoying clothing. Steve trailed feathery kisses across her shoulder to the back of her neck to the special erogenous zone that always drove her crazy with desire. Moaning, she squirmed against him and lowered her head to give him better access to her neck. Against her flesh he murmured, “You’re all silvery with the moon shining in. So very beautiful.” She glanced at his bare chest covered only with his crisp, dark hair, and how the moon beams danced along the tight buds of his nipples, how it rippled over his muscular shoulders, and she couldn’t tear her gaze away from his masculine beauty. “So are you.” His hands explored her and one came to cup the fullness of her breast and rub her nipple between his fingers. The other fingered her pussy, as his thumb massaged her clit, driving her into a frenzy she hadn’t known in months. He turned her in his arms as his mouth worked down the column of her throat to the top of her neglected breast and finally claimed her nipple. Jolts of electricity shot to her core, and she bucked against his hand. Eager to release his caged heat, to feel it against her, she worked her hand inside the elastic waistband of his shorts and curled her fingers around his erect cock. His moans mingled with hers, and they writhed together into a prone position. He dipped his finger into her moist well then pushed in a second finger and moved them around, stoking the fire within her. Eager to see all of him, to feel his cock inside her, she tugged down his shorts until he kicked them the rest of the way off. Feeling drugged, her excitement climbing to fever pitch, she tugged gently on his cock, pulling it to her pussy. Lost in desire, she spread her legs wide when his primitive growl rumbled against her, and she melted into him. She ran her palms over his back, pulling him to her. Thrusting her hips high, she met his as he drove into her with a blinding fury.

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“Oh, God! Yes!” His cock stroking in and out, his powerful thrusts claiming her, his possessive lips drinking deeply of her became her world. Everything else faded and they were one in glory. Wantonly, she drank of him as deeply as he did of her. She writhed against him, moulding herself to him and marvelled at the perfect fit, at how much she’d missed him, at how very much she’d longed for him even if she hadn’t admitted it. Lost in desire, she didn’t care what else he’d done or what he didn’t do when he wasn’t with her so long as he was hers here and now. Her pussy tightened around his wide girth, milking him of his seed. Mindless, a conduit of burning need and ecstasy, she exploded in a raging inferno. As wave upon wave of desire crashed into her, she moved her hips in rhythm with his and clung to him with all her might, never wanting to let go. He ground his hips to hers with an answering frenzy and sought her lips as he encased her in his arms. Slowly, they drifted down from the clouds and staying within the safe warmth of his arms, his cock still nestled against her pussy, she drifted into the Nether World.

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Chapter Eight

When harsh daylight pierced her eyes the next morning and she awoke beside a naked, Steve, she was horrified, and she kicked herself for her weakness. The sight of his beautiful cock made her pussy clench and made her pulse race, but she also remembered how it wasn’t exclusively hers, that he also liked to pleasure Vin with it. Even if she could forgive and forget the past, she doubted his relationship with Vin wasn’t likely to stop. Her heart breaking all over, she stared down at him as the morning light spackled his dark hair, mourning what should have been, and she cursed him all over. Steve stirred, open his eyes a slit, and blew her a kiss. Then he crooked his finger at her and his cock flexed. The twinkles in his eyes were brighter than the sunbeams dancing across his body. He held out his hand to her. “Good morning, sunshine. Come over here.” “No!” Reeling at what she’d done, at the steps she’d taken backward the night before, she jerked away and hugged herself. A frown tugged at his lips, and he struggled to prop himself up on his elbows and turned to get a better look at her. His expression became quizzical then shadowed. “Why not? I thought we mended fences last night.” She shook her head, trying to figure out what universe she was in. “I didn’t say anything like that.” His frown turned into a full blown scowl, and he sat up all the way and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He shovelled his fingers through his hair as he stared up at her. “I thought…after the way we made love last night. I mean the way you kissed me, I was sure…” “That I’d fall into your arms and we’d ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.” She didn’t like the cynicism in her voice, but she couldn’t swallow it. As much as she yearned for a happily ever after, she knew it would never be with him. Even to think it for a second would be pure fallacy. “Don’t cheapen what we have…” He stood so close his breath coasted over her face.

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Afraid his scent would overpower her again, she backed away another step. “Is Vin still your lover? Are you planning to continue your relationship with him?” “Of course,” he said as if annoyed, anger flashing across his eyes. “I have no intention of breaking up with him. We love each other.” She’d heard more than enough. Although not surprised as it was exactly what she’d expected to hear, her heart broke all over. Tears stung the back of her eyes, and it took all her strength not to let him see how badly he was hurting her. “I can’t live with that. Last night was a huge lapse in judgment brought on by my nightmare. Nothing more. Please get out and stay out.” “You can’t mean that. I love you…” “And you also love Vin. I don’t think you know what love really is.” She marched to the door, held it wide and pointedly swept her hand. “I don’t have the strength or desire to wait and let you walk all over me while you find out.” “No one’s walking over you, sweetheart. But of course, you’re not listening, not even to your own heart.” With a snort, he grabbed his clothes and huffed out. A few moments later, she’d heard the front door slam. As swords of agony stabbed her, she winced. Her traitorous heart begged her to run after him, to agree to any terms he wanted, and then to fling herself into his arms and never leave their haven. But she knew that was as much suicide as throwing herself under the car he was revving in rage. She couldn’t stand this a moment longer so how could she expect to live the rest of her life torn in two? Although she knew he’d have to get the rest of his things from the house, she didn’t want to be around when he moved them out. She could feel her feeble resistance crumbling, and if he kept coming around, she’d be so hopelessly hooked, she’d forgive him anything, take whatever scraps he tossed her way, and become a Steve addict. Maybe Bev or Sayesha would stick around while he moved his things so she wouldn’t have to witness it. Damn damn damn! She didn’t want to be a junkie. She didn’t want to be so in love with any man that he owned her soul. She didn’t want to be ruled by her emotions. The rest of the week she debated begging off the wedding, of pleading Sayesha’s forgiveness. But she was a bridesmaid so she really couldn’t back out now even though she was in hell.

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The next week when Steve didn’t show up to the rehearsal dinner, she sighed in relief. Not that she’d expected him to after the way they’d parted. Unfortunately, the night dragged, and even though Keifer’s single brother Kurt tried to be her partner, she had trouble pretending an interest. It wasn’t that he was a bad guy. He was nice enough, but his conversation was banal, obsessing about his tropical fish. He kept stepping on her feet and tripping over his own. He stumbled over his words, and she felt sorry for him. That night again she dreamed of Steve, out on their boat on their river with only a blanket of stars covering him. This time no monster ruined the perfect night. His kisses roamed her body, and they were so tender, so loving, she felt worshipped and extremely blessed. Thus it was doubly hard to awake to the cold reality of an empty bed and a bleaker future. “Today’s not about me.” Shaking herself, she forced herself to get out of bed and cast off her worries. Fortunately, the day sped by as she helped Sayesha. When she followed Sayesha down the aisle, she spied Steve, dapper and polished in his best suit and her heart stopped. Damn! Her step faltered, and she stumbled. Feeling like a fool, she forced herself to focus on the bride and groom. But she couldn’t help sneaking veiled glances at her ex or drinking in the luscious vision of him. Each word that slid off the priest’s lips about love and marriage, commitment and life, reminded her of Steve. She saw herself standing in Sayesha’s shoes. Steve’s image superimposed itself over Keifer’s. The priest seemed to be addressing her and Steve, not Sayesha and Keifer. She wanted to scream. She wanted to flee. She found her lips poised to mouth the vows along with Sayesha. She was going fucking crazy! She had to get out of here. She vowed she’d duck out of the reception just as soon as she could without hurting Sayesha’s feelings. She felt as if the sea monster was back when she spied Steve sitting in the seat beside hers at the banquet table. When she approached, he stood and held her chair. Under her breath, she asked, “I thought you weren’t going to come.”

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His smile became sunnier as he pushed her chair in and took his spot beside her. He lifted a glass of wine in salute. “I thought ‘what the hell’. I was invited, too.” She took her glass of wine and downed it in one session then wiped her lips. Feeling a little more fortified, she twisted in her seat to look at him. Their thighs brushed and fire flamed into her pussy. Burned, she jerked away. No, no, no, no! she yelled at herself. She was not going to let herself be caught in his web again. “If you’d have told me you were coming, I’d have had the seating arrangements changed.” “That’s nice.” He motioned for the waiter to refill her glass. Off-balance with him beside her, she drank more than she should. How she got through the meal, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was her head buzzed by the time she was done and she’d been fawning over Kurt and his fish in a lame attempt to get back at Steve. Although she stood at the back of the group of eager women vying to catch the bridal bouquet, it still somehow landed in her hands, much to her chagrin. Worse, Steve caught the garter. So they were pushed into each other’s arms for the first dance. “I can’t believe this,” she gritted out between her teeth. “The universe is against me.” Steve whispered in her ear, his breath scorching her, sending shivers of desire through her. “Or maybe it’s trying to push us together.” “Why do you say that? Because you lied to me?” He drew her deeper into his arms and gently pushed her head so that she laid her cheek against his shoulder and fit against him. His warm breath fanned her neck, as if trying to chase away her chills. “Because of the way you melt against me when you stop remembering to be so mad at me.” Aghast again, she yanked back. “Mad! You make it sound as if we just had a petty disagreement, that we can kiss and make up and everything will be all better.” He pulled her back and dipped his head, claiming her lips with a tender but possessive kiss. “I don’t see why not. You know more couples meet at weddings than any other place?” Her heart breaking, her nerves ready to explode, she broke loose and backed away. In a low, seething voice, she said, “Good. Then I’m in the right place to meet somebody new.” Pivoting on her heel, she wound her way through the horde of slow-dancing couples.

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Tears squeezed from her eyes, and angrily, she brushed them away. When mascara smeared on her hand, she swore under her breath. Fingers touched her elbow and surprised she whirled around. She wasn’t so surprised to see Steve. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I never meant to.” He caught a tear on his fingertip. “I’m dying here, too. I know we can work this out.” The ache in his eyes made her want to break down and weep. It made her long to believe him, to black out all their problems and proceed on blind faith. She wanted to throw herself in to his arms and let him convince her everything would be okay, that they could live happily ever after. But if she allowed him to do that, how would she feel when he abandoned her to go to Vin’s bed? When she was alone in her bedroom imagining him in Vin’s arms, kissing Vin, screwing Vin? And just how often would he go to Vin? More than he stayed with her? Her heart cried at the thought. “Pretty words, but you’re not all mine and would never be. Can’t you see what you’re doing to me? How much this hurts? Can’t you let me have a chance to get over you and get on with my life?” With that, she turned on her heel, gathered up the hem of her dress, and fled as she choked back sobs. This time she didn’t care when tears streamed down her eyes or if her makeup was ruined. What was a ravaged face compared to her ravaged life?

**** Two weeks passed and she hadn’t seen or heard from Steve. She told herself it was a good thing that she was happy about it, that she was healing. But she awoke many a night in the twilight of sleep, and she reached for him then cried when she remembered he was gone for good. Sometimes, she admitted to herself that she wanted him to crawl back on hands and knees, promising to be hers and only hers, to give up Vin. He would declare his undying love and devotion to her and only her.

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But in the harsh light of day, as the horizon wavered in the distance, she knew that would never happen. She told herself that she just had to give it time that the ache would fade, that her loneliness would go away and she’d meet someone else. She switched her gym membership to one further away so she wouldn’t run into Vin and Nicole, and she spent a lot of time working out, pumping music into her ears to drive away unwelcome thoughts. Sometimes, she found herself furious at Steve for giving up, for not coming around, but she knew that was insanity. At times like this, she hung out with Bev as Sayesha was away on her honeymoon. Sometimes she watched a horror movie but never a romance. She avoided driving by the river and parked in the driveway so she didn’t have to look at the boat, either. When she realised what she’d been doing, she clucked her tongue at herself. When Vin called, she was caught off guard. “We need to meet,” he said in his attorney’s voice. “I have something to go over with you and Steve about the lawsuit.” She nodded and then realised he couldn’t hear her head bobbing up and down. “When?” “Tonight, say, seven. At my place. Do you remember how to get here?” She wished she didn’t, but she did. She envisioned it very well in her mind. Too well. “Okay. I’ll be there. And thanks.” “Don’t mention it.” She arrived at seven on the dot, not wishing to be late, but not wanting to interrupt anything she shouldn’t. Steve’s car was already there, but he was nowhere to be seen so she presumed he must be inside. Of course, she reminded herself, he was living here. At least, as far as she knew. When Nicole answered the door, her stomach was much larger to Mischa’s amazement. Genuinely pleased to see the other woman, she smiled. “Hi. Vin called me over.” “He told me. Come in.” Nicole led the way to Vin’s office and rapped on his door. When her husband replied, she opened it. Mischa gulped as her gaze devoured Steve. A five o’clock shadow lingered on his jaw, making him look so sexy she wanted to devour him. Only with great difficulty did she tamp down her unwelcome desire.

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Looking away, she took her seat and focused on Vin. Crossing her fingers, she tried not to dwell on the possibility of defeat. “Well? Is it good news?” “Not bad.” Vin pushed a sheath of legal documents at her. “We’ve got them to the wall where they can’t justify the price increase on paper so they’ve dropped the suit.” So relieved she could dance and sing, she jumped up and shouted, “Glory, hallelujah.” Steve’s lips quirked. “Amen, sister.” Heartily, she pumped Vin’s hand. “I owe you big time. Let me know if I can do something for you.” Vin slid a hooded glance to Steve. “Well, there is something we’d like…” Her heart lurched. Oh no. Her teeth chewed on her lower lip. “We?” Steve nodded and moved to perch on the desk, presenting a united front with Vin, the last thing she wanted to see. “Don’t say no. If I ever meant anything to you at all, just do me this one last favour.” “That depends…” Her stomach did a nasty little flip, and her knees knocked. “It’s nothing that will kill you. You might even enjoy it.” That whet her curiosity, but she was still afraid to ask what so she wrung her hands and sat prim and proper. She stayed that way as the silence became stifling. Finally, Steve rubbed the back of his neck and continued. “We want you to watch us.” Fear catapulted her out of the chair as a million naughty images flew through her mind making her panties wet. “Watch what?” Vin shook his head at Steve, but Steve made a motion with his hand to let it be. Then Steve gave her a piercing, hypnotic look. Mesmerised against her will, paradoxically her pussy clenched when her mind flooded with forbidden images, and she stood rooted to the spot. She blinked as she awaited their confirmation of her suspicions. She wondered if she could do as they asked, if she wanted to, or if secretly, she longed to. Feeling wicked and wanton, she found herself more curious to watch them than to walk out the door and perhaps wonder forever what it would have been like. “We want you to watch us ‘together’. Making love. Then I want you to tell me how you feel after that,” Steve said.

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Feeling contrary as well as insatiably curious, she notched up her chin and felt her jaw tighten. “That’s two favours.” Vin flopped back in his chair. “Is she always so impossible?” She screwed up her lips at the attorney as Steve simultaneously said, “Yep.” Steve looked back at her. “Well? Will you?” “When?” She felt crazy for even going this far although she wasn’t sure she’d take this further. “Tonight. Now.” “Now?” Her legs felt weak, and she had to sit before she collapsed. Off-centre, she dragged in ragged breath. “While we’re all here. Before you can chicken out.” Steve didn’t make any moves, just waited and watched. Sweat trickled between her breasts. The moisture from her pussy slid between her legs. Finally, she licked her lips and looked heavenward. “God, I must be crazy. Okay.” Steve cracked a grin then masked his face quickly. “Believe me, you’re not. I promise you won’t regret this.” “You’ve made a lot of promises…” They moved to the bedroom with a visibly excited Nicole in tow. The other woman squeezed Mischa’s hand. “Trust me. You’ll love this, and after, you’ll be so horny, you’ll want to ravish him all night.” Mischa wasn’t so sure even though her traitorous thighs wouldn’t stop quaking. Instead, she whispered, “Do you just sit here on the sidelines, watching?” It was then that she noticed a comfy couch sitting against the far wall. It was positioned for a perfect view of the bed. Nicole pointed to it. “I lie on the couch, and uh, get comfortable.” They got comfy and waited for the men. Mischa’s heart twisted and thumped so loudly she wondered if the others could hear it. She steeled herself against massive heartache and told herself it was better to know than not to know and imagine the worst for the rest of her life. Steve and Vin joined them, their fingers linked, and their lips already swollen. They dimmed the lights but left them on high enough to be seen.

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Nicole lit several candles then rejoined Mischa on the couch, putting her finger to her lips to be quiet. Steve pulled Vin into his arms and plundered his lips. Their quivering bodies melted against one another’s as their arms and legs entwined. Mischa quickly became feverish, and her gaze moved to their groins where their obvious erections strained against their pants, where their hips strained against one another’s. Despite herself, she writhed and her pussy wouldn’t stop clenching.

Steve was turned on by the hunger in Vin’s eyes and the matching lust in Mischa’s which he could see out of his peripheral vision. He grew hotter with the added bonus of his audience. Sensually, Vin rubbed against him then licked his way down Steve’s body with languorous sweeps of his tongue. Vin devoted extra time to Steve’s nipples as his hands delved inside Steve’s pants and played with his dick. Eager to feel Vin’s cock, he pushed down his pants to let it spring out against his stomach. Already wet with his juices, Vin’s cock was red and shiny and felt slick against him. “God, you’re gorgeous,” he murmured against Vin’s shoulder as he feathered kisses across Vin’s musky flesh, as he stopped to nibble on the luscious man. “And you’re so hot, and I’m fucking so hot for you,” Vin mumbled huskily as he ripped away Steve’s boxers and flung the material across the room. Giggling, Nicole caught them as if they were her trophy. She tossed a saucy smile their way and nodded, her eyes filled with passion. His cock sprung to attention, begging for affection. He rubbed it against Vin’s lips and groaned when his lover licked its length, sucked his scrotum then took his entire length into his mouth. Getting lost in love, he fucked Vin’s mouth as he wound his fingers through the other man’s silky hair and held his head. His buttocks clenched, and his balls swelled as the other man milked his seed. He opened his eyes and caught and held Mischa’s wide-eyed, rapt gaze across the room. He mouthed, “I love you.”

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When she didn’t respond, he told himself not to despair, to give her time. At least, she wasn’t running away or covering her eyes. Vin caressed his balls with gentle and tender yet fervent fingers. He took all of Steve’s deep thrusts and impaled himself on Steve’s cock. Steve’s dick throbbed and his balls were so full they were going to burst. God, but he wanted his lover to drink his seed, to lap every last drop and taste him forever. His cock so hard, so hot, such a livewire, he was frenzied. Finally, he exploded into Vin’s mouth and ground his hips against his lover’s face. Greedily, Vin drank his cum even as much of the milky juices overflowed onto his chin and dribbled to the floor. Finally, spent, Steve withdrew from Vin and gave him a hand up. Tenderly, he slashed a kiss across Vin’s lips then rubbed against him in a slow dance of sorts as their cocks did a tango. Only Vin’s cock was rigid now and seeking Steve’s heat. In his ear, Vin murmured, “My turn, my sex machine. Get on the bed, on your hands and knees.” He winked at the women, Mischa in particular and asked, “Are you okay?” Mischa nodded but didn’t speak. Her expression was inscrutable, and she sat primly. Meanwhile, Nicole had shed her clothes and played with her clit to the rhythm of her own moans. “That was really hot, guys. Encore! We want more!” Steve hoped Mischa longed for more, that she was getting hot and bothered, that she was enjoying the show. He yearned to get her on this bed, naked and willing, later tonight. His heart in his throat, Steve climbed onto the bed then wiggled his ass at Vin in invitation. Nicole pushed herself up and applied gel to her husband’s cock and then gave him a deep kiss. “Steve’s waiting,” she murmured against his lips. “Fuck him hard for me.” Vin grinned and promised, “You bet I will.” With a carefree laugh, Nicole sashayed back to the couch, her tits jiggling above her baby belly.

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Mischa was so hot she was about to combust, but she felt too naughty to admit it. She also didn’t know what to think of Nicole who had shed her clothes and was totally into the whole experience. “It’s okay if you want to get naked,” Nicole whispered with a wink. “We won’t mind and what goes on in this room, stays in this room.” Tempted, but embarrassed, Mischa didn’t say anything. But she was being drawn more and more into the sexy show on the bed. She’d always loved Steve’s big cock, how it throbbed, how it was so velvety soft and yet hard and ready to fuck. She was in awe of how well he wielded it, at how masterfully powerful and possessive he was, how he made her feel like the most beautiful, treasured woman in the world. She’d never thought she could get hotter than when she was making love with him, but she was way hotter. The flames licking her body were so hot, so high, they fanned the wild fire in her belly to out of control proportions. When Vin crawled onto the bed behind Steve and worked his cock into her man’s ass, she came. Unable to hold back her screams, she rubbed her pussy against the couch. Steve turned his head and gave her a loving smile. She returned his smile even as she rode high on her orgasm. She couldn’t tear her gaze from the lovers, from Vin’s gleaming cock driving in and out of Steve, of his balls slapping Steve’s butt, of Steve’s cock coming back to life and swinging full and heavy above the mattress. She was filled with a sudden and urgent desire to crawl beneath Steve and suck his cock, to savour his taste then to drink his cum. She couldn’t wait her turn and wondered if the men only fucked one another all night or if Nicole ever got her turn. Sliding a glance at Nicole’s very pregnant belly, she knew without a doubt that Nicole got her share of that luscious cock, that she was filled to overflowing with Vin’s milky seed. God, she was horny, and she wanted to impale herself on Steve’s cock. It was torture to wonder if she’d have to go home without getting a turn to ride. Already, she was burning up again and in danger of coming a second time.

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Her moan’s joined the men’s and she tore off her clothes before they suffocated her. Once free, she played with her boobs, kneading her aching nipples between her fingers imagining Steve suckling them as his fingers plumbed her pussy. She drove her own finger between her wet folds, and then two, and pretended they were Steve’s. She slammed her pussy against them as she drove herself to orgasm yet again. Hot and sweaty, tendrils of her hair matting against her cheeks, perspiration trickling between her boobs, she wondered why she’d ever been against anything so awesome. “Hell, you mean I could’ve had multiple orgasms all this time, and you didn’t tell me?” Nicole winked. “I told you. I bet you’ll end up like me before the year’s out.” There had been a couple of scary weeks when Mischa had been scared of just that after she’d invited Steve into their bed after the nightmare. The idea made her squirm now, however, and again she came. Her body trembling, the earth quaking beneath her, she watched through veiled lashes as Vin ground his hips one final time against Steve, only the root of his cock visible as the rest was swallowed by Steve’s ass. Steve’s cock was a bright red, the veins popping out, the flesh glistening and ethereally beautiful. It was so tempting, she knew she was going to impale herself on it before the night was over, most likely before the clock’s hand reached twelve again. Finally, the men fell together onto the bed and tenderly embraced, their bodies fitting well together, their cocks rubbing against one another, Steve’s nestling between Vin’s legs. They kissed one last time, long and deep and so romantically tender, Mischa’s heart was about to burst.

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Chapter Nine

Mischa held her breath as Steve swaggered over to her in all his naked glory, his flesh shiny. He held out his hand to her with a question in those evergreen impassioned eyes. His lips turned up in a crooked smile. “I’d say you didn’t totally hate it.” She slipped her hand into his and let him pull her up against him without protest. So horny, so out of her mind with lust, she rubbed her pussy against his cock. “That was so incredibly hot. I never imagined…” He slid his finger under her chin and lifted her face so that their gazes met and caught. “Does that mean you’ve forgiven me? That you can live with this?” Purring, she rubbed her cheek against his heart. In a playful mood, her heart a million times lighter than it had been in many months, she caught his cock between her legs and gave it a gentle squeeze. She licked her lips and stroked his dear cheek. “I think that’s an accurate assessment.” With a big whoop, Steve picked her up and whirled her around. “We’re going to get married!” Before she could speak, he plundered her mouth with passionate kisses. Clapping and cat calls serenaded them. She’d forgotten they had an audience, but she didn’t care. It was actually rather sexy to be naked in the limelight. “Aren’t you going to consummate the deal?” “Here? Now?” Mischa asked, a frog in her throat making her voice raspy. “Of course ‘now’!” Nicole yelled, her hands cupped around her mouth. Steve’s cock pressed against her pussy begging entrance. “Are you going to let me in? All the way in? Forever?” Through her veiled lashes, Mischa looked at her lover. Laughing lightly, she asked, “Do you mean will I let your cock inside me or do you mean will I let you into my life?” Steve swayed with her as he feathered kisses across her face and lips, as his cock pressed more insistently against her, its head working its way between her pussy lips slowly but masterfully. “Both. I want to bury myself in you for the rest of our lives. Is that too much to ask?”

HEART AND SOUL

Ashley Ladd

98

Although she’d thought so only a few weeks ago, she knew differently now. “How could I live any other way?” “Is that a ‘yes’?” Steve seemed to hold his breath even as he drove into her further, as he pulled her hips all the way to his and they were one body and soul. She savoured how his cock filled her, how her heart swelled, and how her soul felt at peace. “That’s a yes.” He gave her a questioning look. “Heart and soul.” “That’s a million trillion times yes, heart and soul.” She surrendered herself to him and, laughing, they fell onto the bed.

HEART AND SOUL

Ashley Ladd

99

Epilogue

The following summer, Mischa laid in the crook of Steve’s arm on the deck of a cruise ship as it bobbed on the gentle wake of a passing ship. She rubbed her cheek against his bare chest, loving the feel of his sun-warmed flesh. Even more, she loved the feel of his blazing erection bulging against her stomach, barely restrained by his Speedo. He feathered soft kisses across the top of her head, writhed suggestively against her, then murmured huskily against her ear, “What do you say we go below decks for awhile— alone.” “But Mom said she, Vin and Nicole were going to meet us…” He delved his tongue in her ear and tightened his arms around her. “An even better reason to escape while we can.” Crazy with desire, she felt herself weaken. This trip with her mother and their friends to bring her mom closer to Steve was backfiring. She had grown so fond of Steve, was still so raw from her divorce from Joe, she rarely left them alone. “Who made you so smart?” He grimaced. “If I was so smart, I’d have never agreed to this.” She rolled her eyes but linked her fingers with his and pulled him off the lounger. “You know you’re happy this is working out.” Steve’s expression looked haunted for a moment, and then the clouds shifted and the sun reflected in his eyes chasing away the old hurt. “Yeah. I’m glad everything’s working out.” She pressed her lips to his and whispered, “So am I.” Conspiratorial giggles bubbled off her lips as she led him off the deck staying close in front of him so no one would see the evidence of his arousal. Her mirth died on her lips when they bounced into her mother. “Oh, Steve! We lost track of time we were having so much fun gambling. I guess you got tired of waiting for us, but here we are.” Vicky put her arm through the crook of his, making them a threesome as Vin draped his arm around a very slender, fit Nicole.

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“Good to see you.” Mischa feigned a yawn. “The sun took its toll, and we were just going in for a nap so we can be refreshed for dinner.” Vicky winked at Steve and patted his hand. “I’m sure. I was invited to join another party tonight with some very handsome and available gentlemen tonight, so I hope you young people won’t mind me deserting you.” “We’ll miss you…” Steve said. With a lazy smile, Vin nodded in agreement. Nicole burrowed closer against her husband. Mischa stepped on Steve’s foot and glared daggers at him. “Enjoy yourself, Mama. You deserve to have some fun. Don’t worry about us. We’ll find something to do.” In fact, she couldn’t wait for the ‘something to do’ part. She so enjoyed their special relationship with Vin and Nicole and wondered how she’d ever had doubts. She was truly the luckiest woman in the world. Since her mother had seen how happy she was, she’d come around, too, and was now Steve’s biggest fan. Vicky laughed. “How about you get started on that grandchild I’ve been asking for? This is the perfect romantic setting…” Mischa coughed so hard her eyes watered. “Mama!” Vicky waved her off with a sly smile. “I want to see you as happy as your friends Vin and Nicole, okay?” Steve kissed Mischa’s cheek. “Like she said.” “Um…” For once she agreed with both of them and for once, she didn’t mind. “Have fun, Mama.” “You, too!” Vicky sashayed away and flipped her hair behind her shoulders. “I can’t risk your mother not liking me again. We’d best do as she says.” Steve hurried her along to their room and carried her across the threshold. He kicked shut the door with a primitive growl and then laid her on the bed. His eyes adored her as he towered above. His erection stretched the Speedo so far she couldn’t help but laugh. “Lose the Speedo and get over here.” “If you lose the swim suit…” He shucked them off and tossed them across the room. Then he climbed onto the bed and buried his face between her breasts.

HEART AND SOUL

Ashley Ladd

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“You mean again?” She remembered how her favourite suit had floated away under the silvery moonlight. “So long as you don’t throw it in the wake this time…” He winked and licked his lips. “No promises…”

About the Author When Ashley Ladd was 16, she made a wish to live in the paradise known as South Florida. She got her wish and for the past twenty years has lived her dream with fun in the sun. She’s held many jobs besides romance diva, including accountant, customer service manager, and waitress, but the most notable is her stint in the US Air Force. Thus, this story, like several of her others, features sexy military heroes and heroines, living the adventure she knows and loves. Her only regret is that she can’t meet the real life Captain Kirk and travel through space with him, thus she has created her own sexy space captain with whom to romp and love through the universe. Email: [email protected] ASHLEY loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.total-e-bound.com.

Also by Ashley Ladd Shipwrecked Wishcraft The Perfect Gift Confessions of a Nympho Wild Fantasies Brit Party: Best Mates Liquid Heat Submissive Dreams

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