Chicago

Chicago | Shae Connor | 2 Chicago

DARREN tossed his suitcase onto the bed and flopped into the chair next to the window, tipping his head back against the headrest. The curtains were open, providing him with a view of a sliver of the lakefront, two blocks away. He stared at the choppy water, his stomach churning. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He should‟ve known better. No more, he told himself. No more letting him get to you. He pulled out his cell phone to check the time. He‟d already deleted the two text messages that had come in since he left their hotel room. He considered blocking the number but didn‟t want to waste any more energy on him. Ducking into the bathroom, he relieved himself and washed his hands. He glanced into the mirror, taken aback by what he saw. His hair looked like straw, his skin was pale, and his eyes were red from the tears he‟d shed in sheer frustration. He grabbed a washcloth and ran it under the cold water, pressing it against his face. Dammit, he thought. I’m not going to do this. He’s not going to win. Not this time.

DARREN smiled when he saw the name on his phone. “Hey!” he answered. “How are things in the Big Apple?”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 3 “Busy,” Robert replied, brusque as always. “I‟m coming to Chicago early. Some bigwig wants to pick my brain on a new technique. I‟ll be there on the twentieth instead of the twenty-first.” Darren chewed at his lip. “Do you want me to come up then?” He crossed his fingers that the answer would be no. It would make a mess of his schedule. “Yes,” Robert replied, and Darren‟s heart sank. “I may have an additional meeting as well, so we should take advantage of the extra day. Is that a problem?” Darren bit back a sigh. “No,” he lied. “Don‟t worry about it. Same hotel?” “Yes. I have to go. I‟ll see you next week.” “Bye—” Darren realized he was talking to an empty line. He shook it off. Of course he was busy. Robert Westcott was one of the top cardiologists in the country, with continual demands on his time. Darren knew he was lucky to have him, and in the year since they‟d started seeing each other, Darren had had no problem flying to New York or driving to Chicago whenever needed. Robert was a demanding but skillful lover, and Darren could admit he was a little starstruck to have won his attention. Darren set to work on shifting things around so he could go to Chicago a day early. Taking over the charitable foundation his mother had started decades earlier had been a challenge, but after three years, he‟d managed to establish himself as a worthy successor. It left him little time for a personal life, but it didn‟t matter, since Robert‟s time was just as limited.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 4 THEIR usual hotel in Chicago was, in a word, gorgeous. Darren had been there several times before, always with Robert, but he still stared as he walked through the lobby toward the elevator. He rode up to the twelfth floor alone, black rolling suitcase next to him. His first trip to meet Robert in New York, he‟d arrived with his usual canvas duffel bag, and Robert had pulled a face and taken him out to buy, as he said, a “proper” suitcase. The bell dinged as the elevator arrived at his floor, and Darren headed off to the right, toward the king suite at the end, the same room Robert always seemed to get. He stopped in front of the door and knocked, waiting for Robert to answer. He counted silently to sixty, not about to knock again sooner than that, but as he reached thirty-four, the door opened and Robert waved him in. He was on the phone, so Darren moved as quietly as he could, setting his suitcase on the edge of the dresser, next to where Robert‟s sat on the luggage rack. He unzipped the top compartment and pulled out his hanging clothes, crossing to put them in the closet so the wrinkles would fall out. A hanger scraped on the bar, and he cringed, but Robert stood near the window and didn‟t seem to have noticed. Darren stepped into the bathroom and closed the door, using the toilet and washing his hands. He checked himself in the mirror and smoothed down an errant strand of hair. His haircut wasn‟t his favorite, but Robert liked it, and Darren didn‟t hate it, so he kept it. Finished, he pulled open the door to find Robert standing in the doorway. “Hi,” he said, smiling. Robert didn‟t speak, just pulled Darren against his chest and kissed him deeply, pushing his tongue in forcefully. Darren surrendered to it, letting Robert take what he wanted.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 5 This time, that seemed to be just the kiss. Robert pulled back and almost smiled. “I just got off the phone with Dr. Liston at Children‟s. He wants me to have dinner tonight with some of his pediatric cardiology staff. I‟ll be leaving in a couple of hours.” It took a few long moments for Robert‟s brief monologue to sink in. Darren blinked, head spinning at the sudden change in plans. “You’ll be leaving?” he asked. “What about me?” Robert rolled his eyes and walked back toward the window. “As if you‟d be able to keep up with a table full of cardiologists.” He picked up his ever-present bottle of sparkling water to take a sip. “You‟d either ask stupid questions or fall asleep in your plate, and neither would make me look good.” He waved the bottle toward the phone. “You can order room service or eat at the hotel restaurant. You like that place.” Darren‟s mind whirled. He was used to Robert being biting and sarcastic; that was just his style. But never had he been so blatantly condescending—at least, not to Darren. Darren tried to tamp down the fury rising in his chest, balling his hands into fists at his sides to help him stay in control. “Wait just a goddamn minute. I rearrange my schedule to get up here a day early, and you dump me off by myself for a business dinner because I‟m not good enough to go with you?” Robert looked at him with what amounted to mild curiosity. “I didn‟t know about the dinner until now, but what does it matter? Not like your schedule is particularly critical to anyone but you.”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 6 Darren had never understood the meaning of the phrase “seeing red” until that moment. Maybe it was because his blood had never felt like it was actually boiling before. “Not critical?” he demanded. He took a step toward Robert. “I don‟t give a shit how big a hotshot doctor you are. My foundation is saving more lives than you could ever dream of, without even getting into the other work we‟re doing.” Robert scoffed. “You keep telling yourself that, kid,” he said, turning back toward the window. “Are you done?” “Hardly.” Darren crossed back to the closet and snatched his clothes off the rod. “If you think I‟m staying here for another second while you belittle me and my work, then you‟re dumber than you look.” He shoved his clothes back into his bag and zipped it up, half hoping and half dreading that Robert would try to stop him. It turned out he didn‟t need to worry, because Robert didn‟t say another word until Darren‟s hand was on the door handle. “Good luck making something out of yourself,” Robert finally said. “Too bad you don‟t have a lot to work with.” Darren turned. “If I‟m such a hopeless case, then why were you with me in the first place?” Robert shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “You‟re cute, and you turned out to be pretty good in bed. Why not?” Darren had thought he was in love with Robert, but the fact that his heart didn‟t shatter on the spot told him he wasn‟t. It hurt, but he didn‟t feel like the world had just ended. Darren smirked. “Have a nice life,” he said. “Too bad

Chicago | Shae Connor | 7 all your brilliant surgical skills can‟t do a thing to fix your personality.” He was halfway down to the lobby in the elevator before it all hit him. He had to laugh, partly for what he‟d let Robert put him through and partly for the sheer comedy of the scene that had just unfolded. He slid a hand down his face and shook his head. Well, if that wasn’t a lesson well learned, I don’t know what is, he thought. Outside the hotel, he pulled out his phone and ran a search for an alternate hotel. He wasn‟t about to go back home now and have to explain to everyone why he was back so soon, especially not after he‟d rearranged his schedule. Finding a good option, he reached for his wallet and nodded at the doorman, who waved down a cab for him. Darren didn‟t look back.

DRYING his face, Darren walked back out into his new room and stopped near the window. He had no idea what to do now. Half of him wanted to go out and find some random guy to fuck, but what would he do then? Go back and wave it in Robert‟s face? What would it accomplish, other than making him look pathetic? The hotel‟s social hour might not be a bad option. He‟d picked this hotel in part because it was off the beaten path, well away from the areas he knew Robert favored. But he was surprised to find upon arrival that the hotel offered a cookies-and-milk buffet in the lobby late each afternoon. It

Chicago | Shae Connor | 8 sounded a little silly, but it also held a level of comfort that caught Darren off guard. He let the thought settle. Well, why not? He‟d just had a breakup, and consoling himself with something so simple would be better than going out and getting hammered. Running damp fingers through his hair, he turned to the mirror over the dresser and studied his reflection. Passable, at least. It wasn‟t like he was looking for a pickup, but as he glanced down and saw damp spots on his shirt from where he‟d cooled himself off in the bathroom, he decided he should probably change. Starched blue dress shirt and khakis exchanged for a much more comfortable green polo and jeans, he took one more quick look in the mirror and grabbed his keycard, sliding it into his back pocket as he left the room and headed for the stairs. He bypassed the elevator. He was only on the fourth floor, and too much nervous energy from the confrontation with Robert still coursed through his veins for him to stand in an enclosed box for even a couple of minutes. The lobby was mostly deserted when he got downstairs, with just a couple of people with cups of coffee and plates of cookies sitting at a table to one side, chatting. The woman behind the reception desk nodded and smiled as he passed, and he smiled in response. He walked up to the small buffet area and surveyed the options. Three kinds of coffee sat in large carafes, with the standard selections of add-ins; a long serving tray filled with ice surrounded small cartons of both white and chocolate milk, and platters lined with white doilies held four different cookie selections: chocolate chip, oatmeal, peanut butter, and shortbread.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 9 Darren found himself grinning, feeling like he was back home in his grandmother‟s kitchen. He reached for a plate and took one of each type of cookie, then rethought and added another peanut butter. Pulling a carton of chocolate milk out of its ice bath, he grabbed a few napkins and turned, nearly bumping into another person who was walking up to the buffet. “Oh, sorry!” he said automatically, a sentiment echoed by the other man. Who, Darren realized, was tall, dark, and handsome, with short, dark hair, smooth, lightly tanned skin, and steel-gray eyes, a color Darren had never seen before. Holy crap, he thought, followed by, Shut up, lizard brain. Just be nice. Darren smiled. “Totally my fault. I tend to leap before I look sometimes.” The man smiled back and nodded at Darren‟s plate. “Anything look good?” You, Darren thought, immediately squashing it. “All of it.” He nodded toward the buffet. “I‟m partial to peanut butter myself.” A wider grin showed off white teeth and lit up the other man‟s face. He held out a hand. “Nathan Thomas.” Darren shifted his milk carton to rest on his plate and wiped condensation from his hand onto his jeans leg. “Darren Lowell,” he said as they shook hands. He considered, then shrugged internally and thought, Why the hell not? If he’s gay, I’m single, and if he’s not, I could use a friend. “I had my eye on that table next to the window,” he said, tilting his head in that direction. “If you‟d like to join me?”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 10 “Sure,” Nathan said, nodding, the movement a little jerky. “Just let me load up a plate.” Darren tried not to stare as Nathan turned away and stretched out one long arm to reach a plate. The back of his shirt rose up just enough to uncover a sliver of skin, and Darren swallowed, hard. He really shouldn‟t go there, not so soon. On the other hand, it could be just what he needed. Either way, he didn‟t have to decide now. If nothing else, the conversation would be nice, and so would the view—and not just the one out the window. Nathan slid into the seat across from Darren a few minutes later, holding a carton of regular milk and a plate containing five cookies: three chocolate chip, one peanut butter, and one oatmeal raisin. Darren raised an eyebrow, and Nathan shrugged. “Not a shortbread fan,” he said, giving a quick grin. Darren dusted the crumbs of his first peanut butter cookie off his fingertips and washed down the last bite with a mouthful of milk. “You‟ve obviously never had my grandmother‟s shortbread. It‟s really not in the same realm of reality with the rest of the world‟s.” He pondered. “Actually, I could probably say that about most of her cooking.” Nathan smiled as he took a bite of one of his chocolate chip cookies. He chewed carefully and swallowed. Darren took note of his carefully schooled posture, neat dress, and close-cropped haircut. “Military?” he asked. Nathan almost choked on his second bite. He took a sip of milk, shooting Darren a look as he swallowed. “That obvious?”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 11 “Only to observant types,” Darren replied with a smile. “I‟ve been told I qualify.” Nathan nodded. “Well, good job,” he said. “Not exactly accurate, though. Former military.” Darren raised a skeptical eyebrow. “How recently former?” Nathan bit his lip and grinned. “Um… yesterday?” He’s freaking adorable, Darren thought. He laughed. “Well, that hardly counts,” he said. “In the city for good, or just passing through?” Nathan sipped his milk again. “Just through the weekend. I have some job interviews the next couple of weeks and thought I‟d stop in Chicago first. Never been able to explore it much.” “It‟s a great city,” Darren said, breaking his last cookie in quarters. “You like sushi?” Nathan grinned around a bite of oatmeal raisin. Swallowing, he nodded. “I was Navy. Every port has its own variation. I think I tried them all.” “There‟s a place not far away that‟s great,” Darren said, pushing aside his nerves. “I was thinking about heading over there for dinner, if you‟d like to come along?” Nathan looked surprised but then gave a small smile. “Sounds good. What time?” Darren finished off his milk and piled the carton and his napkin on his plate. “Maybe an hour?” he said, improvising. “Better to get there early. They can get pretty busy some nights. I‟m in 425. Want to just come by when you‟re ready to go?”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 12 Nathan wiped a hint of milk mustache away with the edge of his napkin. “I‟m in 448, so not far away. I‟ll be there.” Darren picked up his trash and stood, giving Nathan a quick wave and smile before walking away. He could feel Nathan watching him.

AN

HOUR gave Darren more than enough time to shower,

although he put back on the same clothes, not wanting to look like he‟d primped. He also took the chance to think. Darren hadn‟t lied about the sushi, but he also knew there‟d be no risk of running into Robert there. He‟d turned up his nose because the restaurant sat in the middle of a warehouse district and didn‟t look “clean” to him. Darren sighed at his own stupidity. Robert was a pretentious snob who had gone after Darren for his looks and the conquest, not because he actually cared about him. Worse, part of Darren had always known it and had ignored it. Darren knew he should be relieved he‟d gotten out as easily as he had, but his psyche was still a little raw for that. Dinner and some flirting could be a nice distraction, even if it went no further, but Darren could admit to himself that he wouldn‟t mind one bit if it did. Nathan had a body to die for, a smile that made his face glow, and an air of innocent friendliness that appealed to the idealist in Darren. A quick fuck wouldn‟t wipe Robert out of Darren‟s memory, but it sure wouldn‟t hurt, and unlike Robert, Darren could satisfy his own needs without belittling his partner. He‟d treat Nathan well, and not just in bed.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 13 A knock at his door interrupted his thoughts. He crossed over and opened the door, smiling when he saw Nathan standing on the other side. “Hey,” he said. “Just about ready. Let me grab my wallet.” He waved Nathan in and walked over to get his wallet and room key off the dresser, trying to ignore that he could feel Nathan‟s eyes on him as he moved. That’s what you want, he reminded himself. You want him interested and willing. Turning back toward Nathan, he bit back a grin as he saw Nathan‟s gaze fly back up to meet his. “Let‟s go, I‟m starving.” He smiled again, glad to see Nathan return it. They walked toward the stairs in silence until Darren felt compelled to break it. “So where were you stationed last, Great Lakes?” “Yeah,” Nathan said. “I came down here a couple of times on weekends, and I figured it‟d be a good place to kind of… rejoin society, I guess.” Darren waved Nathan ahead of him into the stairwell, which gave him a chance to skim his gaze briefly down Nathan‟s body, taking in the fit of his snug red polo shirt and the way his jeans wrapped around firm thighs and over a rounded ass. Nice, he thought. Very, very nice. “So you‟re getting used to wearing jeans and sneakers instead of a uniform?” he asked, more to distract himself and his body than anything else. “Exactly.” Nathan grinned back over his shoulder. “And remembering not to salute every uniform I see.”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 14 “Watch out for the doorman, then.” Darren snickered, and Nathan echoed him, eyes flashing as he held the door at the bottom of the stairs and waved Darren through. They fell into step as they crossed the lobby, and when they stepped outside the hotel, Darren nodded toward the corner. “Probably faster to get a cab at the next street. This is kind of off the beaten path.” “Yeah, nice and quiet,” Nathan said as they walked that way. “Last time I was here with some buddies, and the place we ended up at was right next to the runway at Midway. Not much soundproofing, either.” Darren winced. “Ouch. Didn‟t get much sleep?” Nathan chuckled and shook his head. “Not that it would‟ve mattered when two of the other guys dragged bar pickups back to the room and spent half the night having loud sex. Thank God it was a suite. Jamie and I slept on the sofa and let them have the bedroom.” He paused and grimaced. “Well, sort of slept. Laid there and tried not to roll our eyes too much is more like it.” Darren laughed and lifted his arm as they reached the corner and he saw a cab coming toward them. It pulled to a stop, and Darren smiled up at Nathan as he reached for the door handle. “You must be a good luck charm. I don‟t think I‟ve ever gotten a cab that quickly.” Nathan grinned and slid down the seat in the back, Darren following behind. Closing the door, he gave the driver the address and settled back, turning slightly toward Nathan. “So what are your plans now?” Off Nathan‟s puzzled look, Darren clarified. “I mean after your weekend off. Where are you headed next? You said you had job interviews?”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 15 “Oh!” Nathan nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I worked in communications with the Navy, radio and TV, and I‟m hoping to find something with a TV station or studio if I can. I want to go to college too.” Darren nodded. GI Bill, he thought. “What do you want to study?” “Film preservation.” Nathan‟s answer was immediate. His eyes lit up, and his face softened as he spoke. “I love movies, especially old classics. They‟re this great escape when things get crazy. There are so many great ones. I think Hollywood‟s gotten too far away from great stories like those. The idea of helping save them so people can—” He stopped suddenly and blushed bright pink. “Oh. Um. Sorry, guess I got a little carried away there.” Darren laughed. “No, it‟s fine, really. I‟m glad you have something you‟re so passionate about. I bet you‟d be great at it.” “Thanks.” When Nathan blushed, his ears turned pink along with his cheeks, Darren noted. “Um, so what do you do? Are you in school?” Nathan laughed briefly. “I don‟t even know how old you are.” Darren grinned. “I‟m twenty-five, probably about the same as you?” Nathan nodded. “I help my mom run a charitable foundation she founded. We support programs that help disadvantaged children, everything from providing basic food to paying for medical treatments. I‟ve been doing it for a few years, but I‟m still learning. It‟s a lot to deal with. But it‟s very interesting and gratifying work.” “Wow.” Darren wasn‟t sure if he imagined it, but it seemed like Nathan shifted closer to him on the seat.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 16 “That‟s… wow. Not a lot of people would do something like that. I‟m impressed.” Darren almost smiled. “Don‟t be,” he said. “Trust me, I‟m no angel. But it does feel good to know you‟ve helped someone who needed it. Sometimes even helped save a life. Like I said, it‟s hard, but it‟s worth it.” The cab pulled up in front of the restaurant just then, and Darren reached for his wallet, waving a hand as Nathan followed suit. “You can get the return fare,” he said, holding a ten over the seat. “Keep the change,” he told the driver, grinning over at Nathan as they pushed their doors open and climbed out. The restaurant sat inside a refurbished warehouse building in the middle of a former industrial district that had gradually been taken over by trendy home furnishings stores and nightclubs. Darren held the door for Nathan and smiled as they approached the hostess. “Two?” she asked, reaching for menus. Darren affirmed with a nod, and she led them toward a small half-round booth off to one side, clearly designed for couples. Rather than correct her impression—in part because he hoped it wouldn‟t end up being mistaken—Darren just slid into one side, leaving plenty of room for Nathan to sit across from him, so he wouldn‟t feel obligated to sit next to him. Nathan slid into the booth further than Darren expected, but he looked around at the opulent decor as he did. “Wow, you‟d never know this kind of place was hidden inside this building. It‟s really nice.” Darren grinned and picked up his menu. “It‟s great. The sushi is amazing. What‟s your poison?”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 17 “Just about everything,” Nathan said, laughing as he glanced over the menu. “Never met a sushi I didn‟t like.” He grimaced and looked over at Darren. “Well, except anything with cream cheese in it. That‟s not sushi.” Darren wrinkled his nose. “Accommodation for the masses,” he said. “Can‟t they just eat vegetable or California rolls if they don‟t want raw fish?” He turned back to the menu, then considered, looking over at Nathan. “Actually, we could just order chef‟s selection platters and share, if you want. Everything‟s good, and that way you can try more things.” Nathan dropped his menu. “I‟m sold.” He waved a hand. “Order away. I‟ll trust you.” Darren tried not to think about how much he hoped that trust would extend beyond dinner.

DARREN was happy to find the sushi still just as amazing as ever. He and Nathan shared two huge plates between them, passing pieces back and forth and exclaiming over favorites. More than a few moans slipped out, which left Darren more than a little on edge, but in a very good way. They finished with green tea and lychee ice creams, and Darren laughed as Nathan made a move as if to lick the plate. They talked about movies while they ate. Darren admitted that he‟d seen all of three classic films in black and white, and not many more in color. Nathan tsked at him, but they vaulted quotes back and forth anyway. Darren‟s choked, melodramatic interpretation of his final offering cracked Nathan up, just as their server dropped off their check. Still laughing, Darren waved off Nathan‟s attempt to

Chicago | Shae Connor | 18 pay and then his follow-up protests. “Hey, seriously, I‟m happy to have the company. I would‟ve been on my own tonight if I hadn‟t run into you. Consider it a celebration of your recent release from military captivity.” He grinned, watching as Nathan visibly tamped down his reluctance and nodded. Nathan smiled then, a slow burner that Darren felt all the way to his toes. He had to take a minute to collect himself after that before sliding out of the booth, and he had to resist the urge to take Nathan‟s hand as they walked toward the door, not willing to be so obvious in such a public place. Flirting over sushi could be written off as making friendly conversation if he was wrong about what was happening here. Not so much with handholding. Spending the past couple of hours with Nathan had altered Darren‟s thinking about how he wanted tonight to go. He still wanted Nathan; in fact, he wanted him even more now that he‟d gotten to know him a little. But that meant he also wanted more than just a quick, meaningless fuck. He just wanted… more. More than he‟d thought he would. Lost in his thoughts, he pulled up short as people spilled into his path from a private room, deep in conversation. About to just duck around them, Darren froze as he recognized one of the voices. What the hell is Robert doing here? One of the men in the group realized they‟d nearly plowed Darren and Nathan over. “Oh, sorry!” he said, holding up a hand in their direction. “Didn‟t mean to run you down there.” Darren couldn‟t reply. He was too busy staring at the back of a dark head. He could feel Nathan‟s eyes on him, but

Chicago | Shae Connor | 19 as Robert turned around and met Darren‟s gaze, Darren didn‟t move. Robert smirked. “Oh. Hi. Fancy meeting you here.” That broke Darren free. “Yeah, quite a surprise.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Especially since you thought this place was, what was the phrase? Oh yeah, „dirty and low-rent‟. Guess it‟s good enough for you when you‟re trying to impress someone.” Darren saw the muscles along Robert‟s jaw tighten, but he didn‟t move otherwise. “Gentlemen, could you give me a moment? I‟ll meet you outside.” The other men looked back and forth between Darren and Robert. “Is everything all right?” The question came from the same man who‟d spoken before. “It‟s fine,” Robert replied, still not moving. “Just some unfinished business.” The other men slowly started moving toward the door, but Darren felt Nathan still standing next to him. “Nathan,” he murmured. “Wait for me outside?” Nathan stepped closer. “Darren, if you—” “It‟s okay,” Darren said. His gaze never left Robert. “Really. I‟ll be right out.” Nathan hesitated another moment before moving away. Darren continued to look at Robert. “I thought we were finished,” Robert finally said. “We are,” Darren replied, and he meant it. “I just wanted to make one thing clear. I let you treat me like you were better than me, because I didn‟t realize that‟s what you were doing. I do now, but it doesn‟t make me mad. I actually find it funny.”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 20 Robert sighed and put his hands on his hips. “How so?” Darren lifted an eyebrow. “That you felt the need to assert your alleged superiority all over the place. If you were as secure as you pretend to be, you wouldn‟t need to lord it over us lesser mortals. You could just let your accomplishments stand for themselves.” Robert looked stunned for exactly one second before opening his mouth to reply. Darren held up a hand. “Save your breath for your next conquest. I‟m done here.” For the second time that day, he walked away from Robert without looking back.

NATHAN stood on the sidewalk outside, a respectful distance away from the men Robert had been with. Darren walked over to him. “Can we just walk a little?” He didn‟t wait for an answer before heading back in the direction of the hotel. The neighborhood wasn‟t the best, but he didn‟t much care. He might be done with Robert, but he needed to burn off the residual agitation. Nathan walked beside him in silence for several blocks. Finally, he spoke. “I know it‟s none of my business—” “No, it‟s not,” Darren interrupted, his tone harsh. He stopped walking and sighed, shoulders slumping. “I‟m sorry. I shouldn‟t take it out on you.” Nathan had stopped walking a couple of feet in front of him and turned around to face him, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Sorry if I‟m making assumptions here, but… I‟m guessing that was an ex?”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 21 Darren nodded, wrapping his arms around himself, against the buzzing inside as much as the rising chill in the air. “Very recently ex,” he replied, one corner of his mouth lifting in an almost smile. “And seriously, I‟m not heartbroken about it. We never got that close. I‟m not even angry at him, not really.” He shrugged, looking down at his feet, scuffing his toe against the pavement. “I‟m more angry at myself. I let him use me, and I didn‟t even realize he was doing it.” “But you figured it out,” Nathan said, his voice low and rich. “You got out of it.” Darren lifted his head and met Nathan‟s gaze. Silvery gray shimmered in the low light from the streetlamp nearby, and the warmth those eyes held wrapped around Darren like a blanket. It made him feel stronger somehow. Robert may have used him, but he didn‟t break him. He could be here with someone as forthright and open as Nathan and not feel dirty or unworthy. He smiled for real. “Yeah, I got out of it.” Nathan smiled back, then tipped his head toward the next corner. “You okay to grab a cab now? It‟s getting kind of chilly.” Darren nodded. “Yeah. Besides,” he added, smiling wider, “you owe me return fare.” Nathan laughed, a low, rough sound that sparked fire along Darren‟s nerve endings. Oh man, did he ever hope he was reading the signs right.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 22 THEY were quiet on the return trip to the hotel. Darren stared out the window, watching the city lights fly by. Jazz played softly from the radio, and Darren could feel Nathan looking at him every few minutes, though he didn‟t speak. Nathan paid for the drive, as promised, and the two of them walked inside and waited for the elevator together. They exchanged glances and small smiles, and Darren could feel the energy humming between them. On their floor, they turned in the direction of their rooms. Darren‟s was just a few down from the elevator, and he stopped outside, looking up at Nathan. Nathan‟s eyes focused on Darren‟s mouth, and he swallowed. “It‟s… it‟s getting late,” he said. “I should really get going.” Now or never, Darren thought. “You don‟t have to,” he said, keeping his voice low. He took a half step closer and ran his fingertips lightly up Nathan‟s arm, wrist to elbow. Nathan flinched. Darren lifted his hand away and moved back. “Sorry,” he said, trying not to be embarrassed. “I misread—” “No.” Nathan reached out to lay his hand on Darren‟s arm, the warmth of his palm seeping into Darren‟s skin. “You didn‟t. I just—” He pointed at his head with his free hand. “Very recently former?” Darren smiled in sudden understanding. “Didn‟t ask, didn‟t tell?” He shifted forward, leaning into Nathan‟s touch, which slowly became a caress. Nathan‟s small smile made him look even more adorable. “Not even myself,” he confessed. “I just… ignored it. All of it.” He shrugged. “Guess I‟ve gotten pretty good at repression.”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 23 Darren nodded, gaze drifting down from Nathan‟s eyes to focus on his lips. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I know the feeling.” The kiss started out feather-light, bare touching of skin to skin, a slow osculation. Darren‟s eyes fluttered closed at the feel, so many worlds away from Robert‟s rough possessiveness. He hadn‟t had a kiss like this in years, all about softness and warmth, and it shook him to his core. Nathan pulled away for just a second, licking his lips before coming back in, opening his mouth against Darren‟s. Darren met him eagerly, feeling a thrill course down his body as Nathan‟s tongue touched his. Still so gentle, so easy, attraction and affection and discovery. Their eyes opened in unison as they parted, and smiles spread across their faces. Darren drew his hand away from where he‟d brought it to rest against Nathan‟s hip and reached into his pocket for his room key. “No pressure,” Darren murmured. “Nothing you don‟t want. Anytime you say stop, we stop. Okay?” Nathan nodded slowly. “Thank you,” he said, voice soft and deep. He slid his arms around Darren‟s waist. “But I‟m not going to want to stop.” He kissed Darren again, harder this time, but still with an underlying tenderness that made Darren‟s knees weak. Darren could‟ve stayed right there and kissed Nathan all night, but a drafty, semi-public hallway wasn‟t very appealing when a nice, empty hotel room sat right behind the door. Darren managed to separate them long enough to get his keycard inserted and the door handle turned. He took

Chicago | Shae Connor | 24 Nathan‟s hand in his and led him inside, stopping to put out the “do not disturb” sign and click the deadbolt into place. When he turned back around, Nathan‟s eyes burned into his, but his lips were quirked with humor. “I should make a confession,” Nathan said in a low rumble that sparked along Darren‟s nerve endings. Darren sauntered toward him. “What‟s that?” “Downstairs earlier?” Nathan stepped closer. “When we kind of bumped into each other? I didn‟t exactly make any effort to avoid you.” Darren smiled. “I wondered about that,” he said, hands sliding up the outsides of Nathan‟s arms, coming to rest on his shoulders. “Wasn‟t like there was a big crowd to fight.” Nathan shrugged one shoulder as his arms wrapped around Darren‟s waist again. “I didn‟t really notice. All I saw was you.” Darren smiled into Nathan‟s kiss, darting away and laughing as Nathan followed on instinct. Nathan grinned and grabbed Darren‟s head in both hands, holding him in place while he took his time tasting every part of Darren‟s mouth. Darren was panting by the time Nathan broke away again, but he didn‟t go far, sliding firm hands down Darren‟s back and running a line of little kisses along Darren‟s jaw. “You know,” Darren said, trying to catch his breath as he trailed his fingers down Nathan‟s chest, “for someone who says he‟s never done this before, you sure are a damn good kisser.” Nathan‟s laugh rumbled under Darren‟s hands. “I‟ve never done this before,” he said, pressing his hips forward to meet Darren‟s, and Darren shivered at the feel of Nathan

Chicago | Shae Connor | 25 hard against him. “I did date some girls back in high school. It never really worked, though.” Darren flicked his eyes up to Nathan‟s face and grinned quickly. “It usually doesn‟t,” he said, letting his gaze roam back down, taking in the strong jaw shadowed with stubble. He itched to press his own face against it, then realized nothing was stopping him. He leaned up, rubbing his cheek against Nathan‟s, drawing out a soft moan. “Girls don‟t feel like this,” he murmured. He wrapped his fingers into Nathan‟s shirt, breath quickening along with Nathan‟s as he tugged the soft material free from the jeans, sliding his hands underneath to touch smooth skin. Every movement made him yearn for more, especially when Nathan‟s fingers flexed unconsciously where they rested on his waist, pressing into his sides. He brushed his thumbs across Nathan‟s nipples and smiled when he was rewarded with a moan. Body humming, Darren nearly jumped out his skin when one of Nathan‟s hands landed on the back of his head, pulling him in for another searing kiss. Nathan‟s tongue tugged at Darren‟s, stroking them together, stoking the fire between them. Darren met him kiss for kiss, devouring him hungrily, hands pushing at his shirt until he succeeded in getting it up and off, throwing it to the floor. Nathan followed suit, grabbing the hem of Darren‟s shirt and pulling it off all at once, throwing it to one side. He stopped then, breathing hard, eyes focused on Darren‟s bare chest. He raised a shaking hand and laid it on Darren‟s breastbone, drawing it down slowly, fingers twisting through the light covering of wiry hair. Darren watched Nathan as he touched him, torn between savoring the feel of Nathan‟s hand and the look on Nathan‟s face.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 26 “God.” Nathan‟s rough voice nearly undid Darren. “You‟re so gorgeous.” Darren smiled, bringing one hand up to cover Nathan‟s and sidling forward. “Takes one to know one.” He ran the fingertips of his free hand across Nathan‟s stomach, watching the muscles twitch. “Guess the Navy does a body good.” Nathan chuckled, flipping his hand under Darren‟s to twine their fingers together and lifting them up to kiss the back of Darren‟s hand. Darren sucked in a surprised breath and flicked his eyes up to meet Nathan‟s, the deep gray nearly eclipsed by the black of pupil. “Kiss me,” Darren whispered, and Nathan obliged, slanting his mouth over Darren‟s. They wrapped their arms around each other out of need and instinct, and Darren shivered at the feel of Nathan‟s chest against his, long arms around his waist, big hands caressing his naked back. He slid his hands into the short hair on the back of Nathan‟s head, enjoying the prickly feel against already oversensitized skin. Nathan pulled away from Darren‟s mouth and rested their foreheads together. “God, Darren,” he rasped, raking his fingernails lightly down Darren‟s back. “Want you so much.” “Want you too,” Darren answered, leaning back to catch Nathan‟s gaze. “What I said still goes. You‟re in charge here.” Nathan lifted an eyebrow. “Watch out,” he murmured. “I might just take you up on that for real.” Darren laughed and backed up toward the bed, pulling Nathan along with him. “Seriously, whatever you want,” he

Chicago | Shae Connor | 27 said. “But I kinda like the idea of showing someone the ropes. Never been the experienced one before.” Nathan gave him a lopsided smile. “Go for it,” he said. “Somehow I think you‟ll be a great instructor.” Darren lifted an eyebrow and moved his hands to Nathan‟s waist. “Well, you‟ve already passed lesson one with flying colors—kissing,” he said. “And we‟re well into lesson two—undressing.” He popped the button on Nathan‟s jeans and lowered the zipper, taking his time, enjoying the sound of Nathan‟s sharp inhale as Darren‟s fingers brushed over his hard cock through the fabric of his underwear. “Now,” Darren said, tipping up to bring his mouth against Nathan‟s. “Lose those shoes, and let‟s get this all out of the way.” They kissed as they kicked off their shoes, and Nathan reached for Darren‟s pants. Darren let him work, impressed by the speed at which he unbuttoned and unzipped, all while still kissing the hell out of him. Then Nathan‟s hand cupped his cock through his boxers, and Darren jerked and moaned into Nathan‟s mouth. “Oh God,” he murmured. “I think you just earned another A-plus.” Reluctantly, Darren stepped away from Nathan‟s delicious touch, reaching for Nathan‟s jeans and lowering himself to his knees as he pulled them down Nathan‟s long legs. When Nathan had stepped out of the fabric, Darren tossed the jeans away and cupped his hands around Nathan‟s calves, running them slowly up his legs, enjoying the feel of the coarse hair against his skin. As his hands reached mid-thigh, he slid them out to the sides and further, bringing them to rest on Nathan‟s ass. He leaned forward

Chicago | Shae Connor | 28 and nuzzled the spot where Nathan‟s leg met his groin, deliberately avoiding the hard rock clearly outlined under white cotton. Nathan groaned, and his hands came to rest on Darren‟s shoulders, fingers tightening and relaxing with each move Darren made. Darren took his time, pressing kisses to the skin just above Nathan‟s waistband, dipping his tongue briefly into his bellybutton. He sniffed Nathan through his briefs, then inhaled deeply, brushed his nose across hard flesh. Nathan‟s sounds grew louder and more desperate, but Darren held back, not moving ahead until finally Nathan pleaded with him, “Oh God, Darren, please.” Darren hooked his fingers into Nathan‟s waistband and quickly stripped his briefs away. Darren sat back up on his knees, face level with Nathan‟s crotch, and studied the anatomy in front of him. Nathan had a beautiful dick. Long and graceful, like the rest of Nathan‟s body, with a large head and a thick shaft that made Darren‟s mouth water to taste it, feel it inside him. He leaned forward and kissed the very tip, and a loud groan came from far above him. He gave a slow, long lick all the way around the head, and suddenly Nathan was dragging him up his body, slamming his mouth into his, tonguing him fiercely, hands pulling at his hair. Darren let him have control, knowing how he felt. It hadn‟t been that long since Darren had been right where Nathan was now, everything so new and sharp. Nathan‟s desperation calmed, and Darren gradually took back control of the kiss, soothing Nathan with his tongue and gentle hands. He drew away, just far enough to catch Nathan‟s gaze with his, and he smiled.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 29 “I think it‟s time we take this to the mattress,” he said, gratified when Nathan smiled. “I haven‟t finished my lesson yet,” Nathan replied, reaching down to run fingers over the waistband of Darren‟s boxers. “You‟re still dressed.” Darren stilled Nathan‟s hand with his. “You touch me anywhere near there right now, and this may be over way faster than either of us wants,” he said. “Trust me, that‟s one lesson that can wait for another time.” Nathan sat down on the edge of the bed, and Darren took a second to get rid of his own underwear before joining him. Scooting across the mattress, Darren lay down on his back and reached for Nathan‟s hand, leading him over to lie on top of him. Nathan rested one forearm on the mattress next to Darren and leaned down to kiss Darren again. His free hand ran up Darren‟s side from hip to shoulder, and he wrapped his long fingers around the side of Darren‟s neck, thumb brushing his earlobe. Darren cupped Nathan‟s hips in his hands and tugged, encouraging him to move directly over him, and as Nathan settled between Darren‟s legs, their cocks slid against each other, driving moans from both of them. Darren reveled in the feel of Nathan‟s weight on top of him, pressing him into the mattress, skin to skin. Nathan‟s movements stayed slow and gentle, urgent but not possessive, passion without dominance. He kissed Darren one more time before his mouth went exploring, dragging lips and tongue across Darren‟s skin until he reached his ear, where he breathed out warm air, then captured the lobe between his teeth. Darren moaned again and tilted his head to give Nathan better access, and he felt Nathan‟s lips stretch into a smile as he moved lower, running his tongue

Chicago | Shae Connor | 30 along the exposed tendon at the side of Darren‟s neck, pausing to bite down lightly. “Ungh!” The brief, sharp pain sent a jolt of pure pleasure through Darren, and he reached up to grab the back of Nathan‟s head, pressing him closer. Nathan licked the spot and gave it another nibble, firmer this time, and Darren nearly shot off the bed. Nathan chuckled softly as he kissed across the front of Darren‟s neck. “Like that, huh?” he asked, pausing to suck at Darren‟s Adam‟s apple. “More where that came from.” Darren laughed unsteadily. “Much more of that and we might not make it through your full lesson plan.” Nathan flattened his tongue against Darren‟s neck and licked up over his chin, back to his mouth. “No great rush,” he murmured against Darren‟s lips. “Can always save some things for the next session.” As they kissed again, Darren wondered for a moment just who was supposed to be the teacher here. He decided it was time to kick things up a notch. He ran his fingertips down Nathan‟s back and wrapped his legs around Nathan‟s hips, using hands and thighs to pull Nathan closer, savoring the delicious friction between them. Nathan pushed forward, grinding down into Darren, and then he broke their kiss to bury his face into the curve where Darren‟s neck and shoulder met. He stilled and shuddered, and Darren ran a hand back up to cup his head. “Too much?” He dropped a quick kiss on the top of Nathan‟s head. “Too close,” Nathan rumbled in response. “You feel so good.”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 31 Darren smiled. “So do you,” he said, scratching fingernails into Nathan‟s short hair. “Take your time. I have no problem staying just like this as long as you need.” Nathan lifted his head until his face hovered over Darren‟s. “How is it you‟re so cool and collected while I‟m falling apart?” He grinned to soften the question into a tease, and Darren returned it. “Hey, I‟ve been where you are, remember?” He tilted his head up far enough to nuzzle Nathan‟s cheek with his nose, watching as Nathan‟s eyes fluttered shut. “It can be pretty overwhelming. Don‟t go thinking I‟m not just as into this as you are just because I seem calmer than you feel.” Nathan turned his head, searching blindly for Darren‟s mouth, and Darren pushed back his own arousal to help Nathan get a handle on his. Nathan sighed into his mouth, relaxing against him, hands beginning to move again, sliding across Darren‟s skin. Their movements gradually built in intensity, kissing deeper, pressing harder, until Darren broke away, resting his forehead against Nathan‟s. “You ready?” he asked, watching as Nathan smiled that slow burner. “Ready if you are,” Nathan replied, and Darren grinned and kissed him again. Pulling away and reaching off to the side, Darren opened the top drawer of the bedside table to retrieve the lube and condom he‟d stashed there before dinner. He turned back to hand the items to Nathan, who looked down at them and then handed them back to Darren. Darren‟s eyebrows lifted in surprise at what Nathan seemed to be saying. “Nathan—”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 32 Nathan didn‟t let him finish. “I know it‟s a big step. I know it‟ll probably hurt like hell. But I want to… I want that.” He laughed a little. “If I‟m going to do this, I want to do it this way. Kind of… get it over with? But not as bad as that sounds.” Darren studied Nathan‟s face. “If you‟re sure. I‟ll say it again: you‟re in charge here.” Nathan nodded. “I‟m sure,” he said, although he looked much less sure than his words sounded. Darren thought for a second. “It might be easiest if you were on your stomach, but that can be kind of… isolating, I guess? Too detached. Not that there‟s anything wrong with it, but I think face to face might work better.” Nathan nodded again, swallowing hard. “Yeah,” he said, his voice wavering just a bit as he reached up to brush back the hair from Darren‟s forehead. “I want to be able to see you.” It was Darren‟s turn to swallow at the raw need on Nathan‟s face. He kissed Nathan again, smiling as he pulled back. “Okay, then,” he said. “Lie down on your back, and put a pillow under your hips.” Nathan obeyed, and Darren moved between his legs, pushing at Nathan‟s feet until they were flat on the mattress, knees bent up. He set the condom next to him and opened the lube, coating two fingers, reaching to brush them across Nathan‟s hole. He saw as much as felt Nathan‟s body tense up. “Shhh,” he soothed. “Relax.” He leaned forward and sucked the tip of Nathan‟s cock into his mouth. Nathan groaned and twitched, but Darren felt him relaxing. Taking

Chicago | Shae Connor | 33 advantage of the moment, he pushed his middle finger inside up to the second knuckle. He knew it was sudden, maybe too much, and he felt Nathan tense up. Darren gave another suck, drawing a sort of grunt from Nathan, then murmured again, “Relax.” Nathan blew out a breath, and Darren felt him push down gently against his finger. He smiled and moved the finger in small circles, crooking forward, finding the bump of Nathan‟s prostate and stroking across it at the same time that he lowered his mouth around Nathan‟s cock. “Oh God.” Nathan‟s hands clenched into the sheets on either side of his body, hips jerking, as if he couldn‟t decide whether to thrust up into Darren‟s mouth or down onto his finger. Darren didn‟t give him long to recover, pulling his finger out almost all the way and pushing back in with two. “Unh.” Darren decided he could hear that half grunt, half moan every day and never get sick of it. He sucked harder at Nathan‟s dick, sliding his fingers in and out at the same time, swirling them around. Nathan‟s hips moved erratically, small moans vibrating through his chest, into his cock, and down Darren‟s throat. Nathan‟s hands were on Darren‟s shoulders now, pushing him back. “Oh God, stop stop stop.” Darren jerked away, started to slide his fingers out, but Nathan groaned and clenched around them. “No, no, don‟t stop that, just too close, I—” He sighed, and Darren ran a hand across the inside of Nathan‟s thigh. “It‟s okay, I‟ve got you,” he murmured, pushing his fingers in again. He kept up the litany of soothing words, soft caresses, slow stretching, adding a third finger. He waited until Nathan couldn‟t stop writhing,

Chicago | Shae Connor | 34 couldn‟t stop moaning, couldn‟t do anything but feel, and then he reached for the condom. He‟d nearly forgotten about his own arousal in his focus on making things good for Nathan. His cock brushed Nathan‟s leg as he moved, coarse hair rasping across his skin, and he had to suck in a breath and hold it to stay in control. He withdrew his fingers from inside Nathan, shushing him again when he let out a disappointed whimper. Rolling on the condom as gently as he could, he added a thick layer of lube and squirted another liberal amount onto his fingers, pushing them deep inside Nathan, making sure he was as ready as possible. He pulled his fingers free and used them to line up his cock, but when he looked up at Nathan, he found his eyes squeezed shut, his breath rasping in and out through clenched teeth. “Hey,” Darren said, smiling as Nathan peeled his eyes open to meet his gaze. “It‟s okay, Nathan.” Nathan stared for a long moment, then nodded and visibly relaxed. Darren took the opportunity and pushed forward. Nathan grunted again, but not the sexy, dirty sound from before. This was clearly pain, and it took everything in Darren not to pull back, knowing they needed to get past it. “I know, I know,” he said, clenching his teeth to hold back. God, he was so tight. “It‟ll get better, I promise.” Nathan panted, hands clenching the sheets again, but then Darren felt him push, and he slipped in another inch. “Yeah,” he encouraged. “Yeah, like that.” Nathan did it again, and this time Darren felt him open up. He slid in to the hilt, gasping as Nathan‟s muscles tightened around every inch of his cock. Nathan moaned

Chicago | Shae Connor | 35 loudly, reaching for Darren with both hands, pulling at his waist. “Wait, wait,” Darren panted. “Gimme a second.” Nathan groaned. “Oh God.” He shifted his hips. “I need… I….” “I know.” Darren leaned forward, planting his hands on the mattress on either side of Nathan, shifting up until he could reach Nathan‟s mouth. He kissed him at the same moment that he pulled out and pushed back in, catching Nathan‟s moan in his mouth as he did it again. And again. Nathan wrapped his hands around Darren‟s upper arms, and his mouth opened wide, tongue thrusting against Darren‟s. Darren moved his hips faster, harder, driving in now, and he had to pull out of the kiss. His head fell back and his mouth opened, and he started talking, as he always did when he was about to come, even though it had been a while since he‟d been on this side. “Oh God, Nathan, you feel so good,” he said. “You‟re so tight. God. So good, so good.” He heard Nathan moan again, and those long legs came up to wrap around his waist. Darren dropped his hips lower and let his head fall forward, so he could see Nathan‟s face. Their eyes locked, and Darren moaned out Nathan‟s name. He shifted his weight onto his right arm and brought his left up between them, grasping Nathan‟s cock, stroking hard and fast and urgent. “C‟mon, Nathan,” he begged, over the stream of wordless sounds leaving Nathan‟s mouth. “Come for me. C‟mon, you can do it.” “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Nathan‟s hands flew out to his sides, fingers clawing at the sheets as his back curved up off

Chicago | Shae Connor | 36 the mattress, his head pressed back into the pillow, and he gave Darren what he wanted. What they both needed. Darren never stopped thrusting or stroking but kept his eyes on Nathan‟s face as he came, watching his features contort with pleasure, his skin redden, his head jerk from side to side. Nathan‟s body massaged his cock from tip to root, and when Nathan sucked in a deep breath and started to relax back onto the bed, Darren braced both hands again and pounded into him, desperate by then for his own release. He dropped his head, sweat dripping off his face and onto Nathan‟s chest below him, and he heard Nathan‟s voice, raw and hoarse. “Come for me, Darren,” Nathan pleaded, and Darren groaned and complied, thrusting deep one last time, grinding in as he exploded into the condom. His arms wouldn‟t hold him up after that, and he collapsed onto Nathan‟s chest, pushing a soft “oof!” sound out of him. He murmured an apology but had to catch his breath before he could move. He felt Nathan‟s hands land on his back, arms sliding around him, pulling him in tighter. “God.” Nathan‟s voice sounded like it had been through a shredder. “I…. God.” Darren managed to gather enough energy to push up. Nathan resisted, but Darren murmured, “Need to pull out,” and Nathan let him go with obvious reluctance. Darren withdrew carefully and tied off the condom, dropping it beside the bed and crawling back up to curl next to Nathan. Nathan wrapped both arms around him again, tugging him in close, heedless of the mess on his stomach. He tucked Darren‟s head into the curve of his neck, and Darren spread one hand out in the center of Nathan‟s chest and sighed, relaxing into him.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 37 He felt Nathan kiss the top of his head, and heard and felt him let out a shaky breath. He smiled against his skin and ran his hand back and forth. “You okay?” A laugh rumbled under his ear. “Oh hell yeah,” Nathan replied. “Way better than okay.” He shifted his hips. “Maybe a little sore in certain spots, but I‟ll live.” Darren laughed, lifting his head to rest his chin on Nathan‟s chest and look up at him. Nathan tucked his chin down and met Darren‟s smile with one of his own. He ran his fingers into Darren‟s hair. “Thank you,” he said, and Darren smiled wider. “What for?” he asked, though he knew the answer. Nathan tightened the arm around his shoulder, squeezing him lightly. “For everything,” he said. “For all of it.” Darren pushed up far enough to brush his mouth across Nathan‟s. “You‟re welcome,” he said. “And thank you too.” Nathan smiled and kissed him again, and Darren felt happiness spread through his veins, warm and bubbling.

DARREN expected to be alone by morning. The night had been kind of a big deal, and he‟d understand if Nathan needed time to regroup. When Darren woke up, though, he felt warm skin against his back from neck to hips, soft breath blowing against his hair, and a long arm around his waist. He smiled and snuggled back into Nathan‟s body heat, loath to give up such a comfortable position.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 38 A soft cough came from behind him, followed by a throat clearing. “Mmmm.” Nathan‟s voice was muffled, probably because his mouth was buried in Darren‟s hair. “Time ‟izit?” “Dunno.” Darren ran his fingertips across Nathan‟s arm. “Just getting light out, so early still.” “Hmmmm.” Nathan pushed one of his legs between Darren‟s and tightened his arm, pulling Darren closer. “Sleepy.” “Go back to sleep,” Darren said, keeping his voice low and soothing. “No rush.” Nathan made another soft noise, and his breathing evened out again. Darren smiled into his shoulder. Just when he thought Nathan couldn‟t get any more adorable, he upped the ante again. Unfortunately, Darren‟s bladder wasn‟t going to let him stay in bed for long. He waited another few minutes, until Nathan seemed to be completely back to sleep, and eased away. He held his breath as Nathan shifted, but he didn‟t wake up. Darren watched him sleep for another few seconds before he had to answer the call of nature. Business done, Darren washed his hands and ran them damp over his hair, which did little to contain the cowlicks but smoothed out the bedhead a little. A purple bruise stood out stark against his collarbone, and the skin around his mouth was pink from use and beard burn. He grinned, feeling the pull on his lips, and reached for his toilet kit, digging out the lip balm he kept there. Slicking a coat over the dry skin, he carried the tube back into the bedroom with him and set it on the bedside table, eyes on Nathan‟s sleeping form. The pale light filtering in from outside cast patterns of shadows across the bed, painting Nathan‟s skin in a mosaic of dark and light.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 39 He looks like a Greek god lying in repose, Darren thought, then mentally laughed at himself for his flight of fancy. Glancing around the room, he thought about making coffee but remembered that the hotel offered a continental breakfast in the lobby. He checked the clock to find it was after seven, so the food should be available now. He reached for his discarded clothes from the night before, shaking out the wrinkles from lying on the floor. Forgoing underwear and socks, he pulled on just his jeans and shirt and slid his feet into his sneakers, lacing them quickly and reaching for his room key. He debated leaving a note but decided he‟d be back quickly enough that it shouldn‟t matter. Downstairs, he poured two cups of coffee, adding the usual sugar and creamer to his and grabbing a few extras for Nathan, not knowing how he took it. He picked up a couple of muffins and balanced his bounty in both hands as he rode the elevator up and walked down to the room, where he found himself stymied. He didn‟t have a free hand for the door. Laughing at himself, he bumped the wood with his foot, hating to wake Nathan up but figuring he would‟ve anyway when he showed up with breakfast. He waited to give Nathan time to wake up and get to the door, but when he found himself unconsciously counting the seconds, he rolled his eyes and knocked again. “Whozit?” Nathan‟s voice rumbled through the door. Darren grinned. “It‟s me. Got breakfast, but don‟t have a free hand for the door.” The door snicked and opened a few inches, and Nathan‟s head peeked around the edge. His eyes were still

Chicago | Shae Connor | 40 half closed, and his hair stuck up in more angles than Darren would‟ve thought possible, considering how short it was. His eyes brightened when he saw Darren, then even more when he saw what Darren had in his hands. “Oh my God, coffee,” he said, pulling the door further open but staying carefully behind it, since, as far as Darren could tell, he was still clothing-free. Darren stepped inside and carried his bounty toward the small table and chairs near the window as Nathan closed and re-locked the door. Darren set down the cups and plates and glanced over at Nathan, who still stood just inside the door, and as Darren thought, didn‟t have a stitch on. Darren raised an eyebrow. “I have to say, I like the view,” he teased. “But aren‟t you chilly?” Nathan glanced down and blushed bright pink almost everywhere, which made Darren laugh out loud. “Oh shut up,” Nathan muttered, crossing over to pick up his own jeans and shirt and slip them on. Darren made an exaggerated noise of disappointment as his view was covered up and laughed again at the look Nathan shot him in response. Darren sat down and divided up their breakfast, pushing the sugar and creamer packets toward Nathan as he took a seat across from him. “Didn‟t know how you took it, so I hope this is okay.” “One sugar,” Nathan said, reaching for a packet and adding it to his coffee. “Never could get used to plain black. Most people got used to drinking it that way in basic because it was so quick, but I had to have something.” Darren nodded as he plucked a piece off a muffin. “I tried black too.” He grinned at Nathan. “Once,” he said, popping his bite into his mouth.

Chicago | Shae Connor | 41 Nathan chuckled as he reached for the other muffin. “So,” he said after a moment, slowly breaking the muffin into pieces, not looking at Darren. “When do you head back home?” He sounded uncertain, and it took Darren a moment to realize he was nervous. Darren took another bite of muffin, not sure what to say himself. “I should probably go back today,” he finally said. “I‟m not due back for another couple of days, but I had to shift some things around to get here earlier than I expected, so it would be helpful if I took advantage of the extra time.” Nathan nodded as he chewed, not meeting Darren‟s eyes. Darren studied him for a few seconds. “How long do you have before your interviews start?” Nathan shrugged. “The first one is day after tomorrow,” he said. “I have to drive down there. It‟s in a small town in southern Illinois that no one‟s ever heard of, but they have a TV station and a college with a cinema studies major, so it sounds like it might be ideal. I have an interview at the station first thing that morning.” Darren couldn‟t imagine that what he was thinking might be true, but he had to ask. “Not Carbondale, by any chance?” Nathan looked at him then, eyes wide. “Yeah. You know it?” He took another bite, and Darren leaned back in his seat, crossed his arms over his chest, and smirked. “You could say that,” he said, “considering I‟ve lived there for the past twenty-five years.” Nathan literally choked on his muffin. Darren laughed and waited for him to settle back down, and when he did, he

Chicago | Shae Connor | 42 shot Darren a glare. “You did that on purpose,” he accused, and Darren laughed again. “Sorry. I didn‟t expect you to almost choke to death, but the look on your face was classic.” He leaned forward again, resting his arms on the table. “Yeah, I‟m from Carbondale. My whole family lives there. The foundation‟s based there. I went to college there. And, well….” He hesitated but decided in for a penny, in for a pound. “My grandparents own one of the TV stations.” Nathan fell back against his chair. “Of all the hotels in all the towns in all the world….” Darren laughed and shook his head. “You believe in fate?” he asked. “Or destiny, or, I don‟t know, pure dumb luck?” “I don‟t know.” Nathan shook his head, looking as stunned as Darren felt. “But I might have to start.” Darren tilted his head to one side. “Well, let‟s start with this,” he said. “I do need to get back home. I‟d love to stay and play—I mean, play tourist, although maybe other things too.” They shared a grin. “But since you‟re coming to Carbondale anyway, maybe you could… come a day early? Or stay a day later? I can show you around a little, take you to dinner.” Nathan frowned. “I don‟t…. I need to do this on my own, Darren. I don‟t want you to call in favors.” “Oh, no!” Darren held up a hand. “I didn‟t mean anything like that. I won‟t say a word to anyone.” He bit his lip. “But I‟ve been honest with you this whole time, and I don‟t want to stop now. The simple truth is that I like you, Nathan. I like you a lot. And not just the sex, although that was pretty darn amazing.”

Chicago | Shae Connor | 43 He smiled and was happy to get another one back from Nathan. “It‟s more than that, though,” he continued. “I like the way you think. I like your passion about old films. I like that you‟re honest and direct but not rude or overbearing. I just… I like you.” Nathan leaned forward, mimicking Darren‟s pose, arms folded on the table. He met Darren‟s gaze. “I like you too,” he said softly. “I like how much you care about things, and that you can be so friendly and open and ask a complete stranger to eat cookies and sushi with you. I had so much fun last night, and like you said—not just the sex.” “So come to Carbondale,” Darren said. “I‟m sure you‟ll wow them in your interview, and if you like it there, well… then maybe we can see what happens? No expectations. No pressure.” Nathan smiled at him, the slow burner that left Darren tingling head to foot. “I think that sounds like a plan.” Darren slid his hand across the table, wrapping it around one of Nathan‟s. “So… see you in Carbondale, then?” Nathan nodded. “See you in Carbondale,” he said. He grinned, brightly and suddenly, white teeth on display, and Darren‟s heart tripped in his chest. “Just remember,” Nathan said, dropping his voice lower, eyes twinkling. “We‟ll always have Chicago.” Darren laughed, loud and long. “Nathan, I do believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

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About the Author

SHAE CONNOR lives in Atlanta, where she works for the government by day and reads and writes about pretty boys falling in love by night. She‟s been making up stories for as long as she can remember, but it took her a long time to figure out that maybe she should start writing them down. Now, she usually has far too many stories in progress, but when she does manage to tear herself away from her laptop, she enjoys running, hiking, cooking, and traveling, not necessarily in that order. Shae posts snippets, updates, and thoughts on writing and editing at her web site, http://shaeconnorwrites.com. You can contact her at [email protected].

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Copyright

Chicago ©Copyright Shae Connor, 2011 Published by Dreamspinner Press 4760 Preston Road Suite 244-149 Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Art by Catt Ford This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the Publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/ Released in the United States of America June 2011 eBook Edition eBook ISBN: 978-1-61372-022-6