Auld Lang Syne

TEMPTING FATE: Holiday Fantasies

New Year

Auld Lang Syne by Kay Wilde

(c) copyright December 2003, Kay Wilde Cover art by Eliza Black New Concepts Publishing 5202 Humphreys Rd. Lake Park, GA 31636 www.newconceptspublishing.com

Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind. Yeah right. Easier said than done. The embossed invitation to her class reunion should have hit the trash can the moment she received it. Not only had she not tossed it, she?d actually brought the damn thing with her to New York City. Even more amazing, she was tempted to attend. Tempted to show the popular in crowd from her old high school that plain Jane Smith had become someone worth recognizing. Jane wanted to believe she was a better person than that. That painful, confidence-destroying part of her life was over, finished. She?d moved on, leaving plain Jane, the invisible, non-person well behind her. Jane wanted to believe that to be the case--deep down she knew better. Old hurts and slights died hard. Despite her success, the magnitude of which she still found impossible to comprehend, inside she was still plain Jane Smith, the non-person from the wrong side of the tracks. Was the embossed invitation in her hand a cruel reminder of who she was, who she would always be? Or was it her opportunity to banish plain Jane once and for all? Playing out on the television screen in her hotel room at the famed Waldorf Astoria, a crush of humanity gathered in Times Square waiting for the countdown and the descent of the glittering ball which marked the end of the old year and the beginning of the new. Rising from the satin covered bed where she?d been sitting Indian fashion surrounded by a mound of

cream colored, satin pillows, Jane walked to the oak framed, full length mirror. The red and gray plaid flannel nightgown she wore, the same gown that had been loose even when she was sixty-five pounds heavier, effectively concealed the finely sculptured curves beneath. Except for the weight loss, Jane couldn?t deny that she had done little to alter her plain Jane image. Reaching for her glasses on the bedside table, she glanced at the clock displayed at the lower right-hand corner of the television screen which counted down the minutes. Turning back to her reflection, Jane was determined to be brutally honest with herself as she assessed her own attributes. Her complexion, which thankfully hadn?t plagued her with an unsightly outbreak of pimples in years, was now smooth and clear. Always considering her hair to be her one good feature, Jane released the confining clip at the nape of her neck. While some might call her waist length hair a mousy brown, it was thick and shimmered with good health. Taking a deep breath, Jane then did something she?d never done before. She released the buttons at the neckline of her nightgown, allowed it to slide from her shoulders, down her arms and hips until it puddled at the feet. She then critically appraised her own nude body. "Not bad," she admitted, sounding almost surprised. "Actually, pretty darn good." After leaving her hometown, it had taken her three years to write Silver Lining, the novel which had changed her life. Three years of working two jobs just to make ends meet, and writing during what free time she could squeeze into her days and nights. In high school she?d used junk food as a panacea to make her feel better, which in the end made her feel even worse when she continued to gain weight. On her own, money for food was tight and junk food a luxury she couldn?t afford. She was often so immersed in her writing she forgot to eat all together. The excess pounds and inches had slowly melted away without Jane even realizing it. Reaching for the invitation she?d laid upon the chest of drawers next to the mirror, Jane reread the information before her eyes returned to the mirror. She felt as if the woman with the killer body gazing back at her was someone totally separate from herself. "You have to face and conquer the past before you can let it go and move on to the future that?s opened up for you," the woman in the mirror insisted. Jane pulled the huge flannel gown back up. Leaving the buttons at the neckline unfastened, she returned to the bed. On the television the mob scene in Times Square grew loud and rowdy as the ball started to descend and the countdown to the New Year began. Vowing this would be the last New Year?s Eve she would spend alone, while the rest of the world was out there enjoying life, Jane reached over and poured herself a solitary glass of champagne from the small, complimentary bottle supplied by the hotel. "Five ... Four ... Three ... Two ... One ... Happy New Year!!!" Having no one with which to share the toast, Jane held her glass toward the excited, kissing and hugging revelers on the screen as the strains of Auld Lang Syne drowned out the sounds of their cheers. For Auld Lang Syne--meaning, for old long since, Jane interpreted. Days long gone, best forgot and never brought to mind. Let go of the past and move on with the future. This was exactly what Jane intended to do by following the advice from the lady in the mirror--face and conquer the past.

Jane picked up the yellow legal pad upon which she?d been jotting down notes and ideas for her next book. Turning to a blank page, she picked up her pen and began to write. New Year?s Resolutions: I. Make over plain Jane (a) Attend reunion (b) Seduce Ryan Shipman (c) Lose virginity II. Get a real life.

****

The young parking attendant, who was leaning negligently against a concrete pillar smoking a cigarette, came to quick attention when a racy silver sports car rolled to a halt at the base of the steps leading up to the main entrance of the exclusive country club. For the opportunity to drive and park the awesome vehicle, he had to literally race several of the other attendants down the steps to get to it first. He reached out and opened the door to allow the lone occupant to exit the car. First came a glittering silver, stiletto-heeled shoe, a trim ankle, and then the entire leg encased in shimmering silver nylons. His hand shot out to assist the woman from the low slung vehicle. Slit all the way up to her left hip, the ankle length gown of fine silver lamé gently caressed without clinging to her curvaceous body. Cut in a low, scooped neckline, the fabric draped tastefully yet provocatively across the fullness of her breasts. With an appreciative smile, she slipped a folded piece of currency into the pocket of his jacket before she turned and started up the inlaid brick steps. The waves of her gloriously long hair teased at the silver folds draped along the small of her back. In back as in the front, the fabric had been draped incredibly low for the most effect. A low whistle beside him snapped the young parking attendant from his daze, making him aware that all four of the other attendants who had been hired for the function were all standing in a row at the bottom of the steps watching the ascent of the silver lady. He pulled the folded bill from his pocket. "Holy shit," he gasped. Then to his friends he offered. "Pizza and beer is on me tonight, guys." As soon as Jane entered the beveled glass double doors of the country club, she could hear music and the murmur of voices coming from the closed French doors to her left ... which was where she was supposed to go. She turned to the right instead, past the cloak room and down the narrow hallway toward the location where she was to meet Rachel Simmons at precisely 8:15. On the day following her high school graduation, Jane withdrew her meager savings from her bank account, packed her bags, and had caught the first bus out of town. Except for the occasional contact

with Rachel, the only person she?d truly considered a friend, Jane had never looked back. Not wanting to be late, she checked her watch as she hurried toward the appointed destination. It was now 8:10. And then she walked headlong into an immovable wall of solid muscle. The chain attached to her silver evening bag slipped from her shoulder, dropped to the floor, and snapped opened spilling out its contents. "Damn," Jane muttered under her breath as she stooped down to retrieve her bag. The tux clad wall of muscle followed her down. Compared to hers, the hands that reached out to assist her appeared large and sure, as he retrieved several of the articles just out of her reach. Their hands met. Jane felt a disturbing tingle of awareness start at her fingertips, move up her arm, then down her spine. Her head snapped up and her gaze collided with unfathomable, deep green pools glittering with amusement. "Tanner Elliot." The name slipped past Jane?s lips in a shocked gasp. Tanner was the last person she expected to see here tonight. The class rebel and bad boy from her old neighborhood. According to one of Rachel?s letters, like Jane, shortly after graduation, Tanner rode his Harley out of town and had never returned. Other letters had mentioned him occasionally, citing information Rachel had obtained from one of his brothers who claimed Tanner had become a navy seal. If Rachel?s gossip proved accurate, Tanner was now with some government organization, often assigned to covert missions in other countries. It was a career which would fit the tall, dark, ruggedly handsome, tough guy image and the aura of danger Jane had always associated with Tanner Elliot. He was still just as handsome, even more so with added maturity. And he still made Jane feel things which frightened her. Things she?d been ill equipped to deal with back then. Jane wasn?t sure she was any more capable of handling those sensations now, more than five years later. "Janie Smith," Tanner countered, a slow smile curving his lips. A smile that caused Jane?s heart to do a flip-flop within her chest. "How did you??" "Recognize you?" Tanner interrupted. "Despite the sophisticated exterior, I?d recognize those big brown eyes with the ready-to-bolt expression anywhere, Janie. You?ve become an incredibly beautiful woman. But then, I always knew you would." "Yeah right," Jane thought. He was still a pro at dishing out the bullshit. Crouched on the floor facing him made bolting a bit difficult, but that?s exactly what her instincts compelled her to do. If she were sitting at her computer writing a scenario such as the one in which she now found herself, Jane would have no difficulty coming up with the perfect witty comeback. Instead, temporarily brain dead, tongue-tied, and insides quivering, Jane quickly stuffed everything into her evening bag and began to rise to her feet. His hands shot out, spanned her waist, and together they rose. He stood there looking down at her, the warmth of his hands scorching her flesh through the thin fabric of her gown. "Still running, Janie?" "I?m not running from anything, or anyone," she insisted. "I?m supposed to meet Rachel and I?m late." "Then I won?t keep you," Tanner responded easily. He removed his hands from her waist and stepped back.

"It was good seeing you again," Jane said quickly, and then she left him standing there and hurried to meet her old friend. The sound of his knowing chuckle followed her down the narrow hallway. "It was good seeing you again?" she groaned inwardly. "Jeez, Jane. If you hope to have a prayer of pulling tonight off, you?ve got to do better than that." She found Rachel pacing the floor in the employee?s restroom near the kitchen. When Jane entered, Rachel started as if she?d been caught doing something wrong. Her startled eyes grew large and round as they fixed on Jane. Her mouth opened in a silent gasp. "Close your mouth, Rache, before something flies into it," Jane teased. "Janie?" Rachel asked, disbelief etched in her homely features. "Do you know anyone else you can con into sneaking into the country club and hiding in the restroom?" "Oh my, God! It really is you." Rachel?s eyes immediately sparkled with merriment and her face lit up with the warm, welcoming smile Jane had missed so much over the years since they had last seen each other. In that moment those years slipped away as if the two friends had never been apart. "You?re so beautiful, I didn?t recognize you." "Who me? Nah," Jane denied. "I?m still me, plain Jane Smith." "Yeah right. Have you looked in the mirror?" Rachel demanded. "You?ve become her." "Her who?" "Janette Hayden, the best selling author who?s name graces the cover of your book. Rachel pointed out. "You?ve become her." Not yet comfortable with the changes in her appearance, Jane felt as if she had taken up residence in someone else?s body. "Not yet," Jane confessed. "But I?m working on it." "Well it?s about time," Rachel responded with a grunt of approval before she enveloped Jane in a welcoming hug. "Oh my gosh," Rachel gasped as she stepped back and checked her watch. "We don?t have much time." "We don?t have much time? Mind telling me the purpose of all the cloak and dagger scheming?" Jane asked, though not overly surprised by it. It was just the type of thing the old Rachel thrived on. "They don?t know who you are," Rachel informed her with a delighted chuckle. "So? They never knew who I was. What makes tonight any different?" "You don?t get it, do you?" "No. Can?t say that I do," Jane admitted, starting to feel uneasy. What was Rachel up to? "Being one of the few people from our graduating class who remained in the area, I was naturally included as part of the reunion committee. It put me in a position I never dreamed I?d be in." Rachel explained. Which still didn?t answer Jane?s question.

"Out with it, Rache. What did you do?" "I didn?t do anything. Not really," she insisted innocently. "I just let it be known that Janette Hayden was the pen name of one of our classmates, and I knew who that person was. Then I refused to divulge the name of that person until I had the honor of announcing the name of the most successful from our graduating class." "And how did the other members of the committee respond to that?" "How you might expect," she responded with a pleased grin. "I?ve been wined, dined, and invited to all the ?in? parties where I?ve been pumped for information," Rachel explained with the ever present, irrepressible chuckle that had never failed to warm Jane?s heart. At the same time, the knowledge of Rachel?s manipulations caused Jane?s heart to sink. She knew how her old classmates operated. After tonight, Rachel would be dropped like the proverbial hot potato. While there had been some nice, real people in their graduating class, as in all classes, it had been the in-crowd, the wealthy, the cheerleaders, and the jocks who ruled the roost. Lording their popularity over the little people on the outside looking in, or worse yet, those not even worthy of their notice. "Dammit, Rache," Jane groaned. "You?re too smart to set yourself up like that." "I am," Rachel agreed. "I can?t deny it?s been a kick to bask in your glory for a while. Hope you don?t mind," she added. "But you know, the experience gave me the opportunity to discover something I?d never understood before. Something so important, it?s made a big difference in the way I look at my life." Before Rachel could enlighten Jane further she looked at her watch and groaned. "Time?s run out. I have to be on stage in five minutes." With a quick hug and a promise of "we?ll talk later," Rachel opened the restroom door. "Stay in here for another five minutes," she instructed, then checked the time again as if synchronizing their watches. "Then wait outside the French doors of the ballroom until I announce your name." Giving Jane a thumb up, she added, "This is our chance to knock our old classmates on their collective asses." With the rustle of taffeta from her hot pink gown and the scent of exotic wild flowers, Rachel was gone. "Same old Rachel," Jane whispered. An indulgent smile curved her lips as she remembered what a strange pair they?d been during their high school years. Jane, the excruciatingly shy, overweight book worm with thick glasses and pimples, who found an escape from reality within the pages of an ever present book. And then there was Rachel, the flamboyant, often loud-mouthed extrovert with a heart of gold, who hid her emotions behind changing hair colors, her outrageous wardrobe, and an I-don?t-give-a-damn attitude. "I shouldn?t have come," Jane sighed, feeling more comfortable in the employees? restroom than she would in the undoubtedly posh powder room normally reserved for the upper class guests and country club members. As she looked into the cheap, full length mirror pitted with black specks where the backing had worn off, Jane was once again hit with a sensation of unreality as she stared at the woman gazing back at her. On January second, placing herself in the fashion savvy hands of her agent, they had hit the streets of New York City on a mission to transform plain Jane Smith into the acclaimed novelist Janette Hayden.

The first stop had been an optometrist who?d replaced Jane?s glasses with contact lenses. Next was an exclusive salon where the stylist trimmed her hair and lightened the mousy brown color to a dark honey blonde which glistened with subtle platinum highlights. The cosmetologist chose the makeup shades which best suited Jane?s coloring, then proceeded to teach her how to use them to accentuate her best features. While Jane doubted she?d ever see herself as beautiful, she couldn?t deny the end result was indeed startling. Then Jane and her agent went on a no-holds-barred shopping spree. They hit Bloomingdale?s, Neiman Marcus and Sax Fifth Avenue, then some of the top designer fashion houses. Jane spent money as she?d never imagined spending it in her life. Then again, she?d never had so much money to spend in her life. While Jane was confident the practical, budget conscious side of her nature would reassert itself before she frittered away the financial security her novel and subsequent movie deal had insured, for once in her life she was determined to indulge herself. In truth, the sum total of her purchases for the day barely put a dent in her last royalty check, and she had yet to deposit her check from the movie deal and her advance for the new book she?d just completed. Her business trip to New York had not only been productive, it had been extremely profitable as well. Only twenty-three years old, Jane knew if she used a little common sense she was financially set for life. The problem was, she had no one with whom to share that life. "It just goes to prove money can?t buy everything," she told herself as she glanced down at the delicate, white gold, bracelet styled Rolex on her wrist. It was time to put into motion the second part of the resolutions she?d drafted in her room at the Waldorf Astoria on New Year?s Eve. She was wise enough to admit it was a goal the inhibited Jane Smith had no prayer of achieving. But unencumbered by Jane?s insecurities, her creative alter-ego, Janette Hayden, might just have the audacity to pull it off.

****

"And last but certainly not least, it?s my privilege to announce the most successful from the graduating class of 1995. That person is Janette Hayden, acclaimed author of the novel Silver Lining, which has topped the New York Times best seller list for the past 68 weeks. The movie rights, I might add, have just been sold to Hollywood." There was a long pause before Rachel?s chuckle could be heard clearly over the microphone. "I can see a lot of confused expressions out there. True, there was no Janette Hayden in our class. But, we all know many authors use a pen name. The real person behind the name and the pen, is none other than our own ... Jane Smith." Again there was another telling silence and Jane felt her resolve strengthen. As before, on the outside, but this time about to step boldly in, Jane could well imagine all the blank faces inside that room. "Jane Smith? Did I know her?" "Gee, I can?t remember anyone by that name." And then there would be the few who did remember who she was. "Surely not that Jane Smith." "This has to be some kind of a joke." "What the hell is Rachel trying to pull?" Jane grasped the brass door fixtures, pressed down and pushed the doors open. It was Janette Hayden who stepped through and walked confidently down the center isle toward the stage, feeling every eye in the room upon her. It was Janette who accepted the microphone from Rachel and turned to face her old classmates. "I?m honored," she spoke into the microphone, her tone coming across as gracious and sincere.

"Despite the success Silver Lining has achieved, nothing has given me more satisfaction than to receive recognition from my home town and classmates." Beside her Rachel coughed, then chuckled. "In truth, I must thank all of you. Although Silver Lining and the characters are purely fictional, for those of you who know me...." Which is nobody. Except Rachel ... and Tanner. "Assuming you?ve read the book, I must confess that much of my leading character?s early years were taken from my own childhood. Fictional events, inspired by my experiences with many of you during a time in my life which I assure you will not be easily forgotten. If some of you see yourself or at least part of yourself in one of my characters, I hope you will accept the compliment in the spirit for which it was intended." On that point Jane knew she was treading on relatively safe ground. The ego of most people blinded them to their own shortcomings. They could always imagine a friend or acquaintance fitting into the role of a less than likable character, but rarely themselves. Unless, of course, the writer was unwise enough to be blatantly obvious with physical description and details of specific events. Jane might admit to being many things but stupid she wasn?t. "Seeing all of you again means more to me than you can possibly know. Thank you." Jane returned the microphone to Rachel and received a hushed whisper in her ear. "Damn you?re good. You slid the knife in so smoothly nobody even felt it." "Not yet," Jane, or rather Janette, responded softly. "Janie? What are you going to do?" For the first time there was unease in Rachel?s eyes. "Just to fulfill some New Year?s resolutions, Rache. That?s all." "Do I want to know what those resolutions are?" "Probably not." Before Rachel could respond, Jane?s arm was grasped and she was literally escorted from the stage by several women from the old in-crowd. "Is it true that you?ve just purchased an ocean front property on the coast of Maine?" "Is it true that you sold the movie rights to your book for three million dollars, and Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts are going to play the leading roles?" Where that one came from, Jane would never know. She?d just signed the contract a few days ago and to her knowledge, casting hadn?t even been considered at this point. "You must give us the name of the designer of that divine gown. It?s an original if I?ve ever seen one." Their questions were coming at Jane all at once, giving her no time to register who asked what, much less to respond. Not that she intended to satisfy their curiosity on subjects she considered none of their business. "It?s so good to see you again, Janette. You look absolutely fabulous," Lydia Talbot gushed, putting her arm across Jane?s shoulder as if they were long lost friends. Lydia Talbot: the beautiful, perky, blue-eyed blonde, head cheerleader, prom queen, Ryan Shipman?s long time girlfriend, and the rich bitch at the top

of the list, etc, etc, etc.? "The name is Jane, Lydia," she reminded her quietly. In the background she could hear Rachel concluding the presentation part of the evening. "Yes, of course," Lydia conceded with an unconcerned shrug, as if who Jane really was, was of little consequence. "I was so upset when Rachel told us you wouldn?t be arriving until late this evening. We have so much to talk about. So much to catch up on." "Oh?" Jane inquired with a slight arch of her eyebrow. "Such as?" "Well, for starters, tomorrow evening my father, the mayor, would like to have a dinner party in your honor. The guests will include all the most prominent people in town, of course." "Oh, of course," Jane acknowledged sweetly. "It?s very kind of him to offer, but unfortunately, I won?t be able to make it." "Excuse me? You?re turning down my father?s invitation?" Lydia?s eyes went round and her mouth dropped opened. She was clearly amazed, as if everyone was expected to be so honored by such an invitation they would do back-flips if necessary to be there. Especially someone who, if given a passing thought at all, was once considered a local nobody. Noting the spoiled rich girl?s pout she recognized from days gone by, it was all Jane could do not to laugh. "As I said, Lydia, it isn?t possible. I?ll be heading home tomorrow afternoon." "Oh," Jane responded, annoyance temporarily darkening her baby blues. "You could always stay another day. Or ... I know! We?ll make it a Sunday brunch before you leave." As if Jane?s acceptance was a foregone conclusion, she went on giving Jane no opportunity to respond. "You can arrive about tenish, and we?ll have time for a nice long chat before the guests arrive." "I have a prior commitment tomorrow, Lydia." "What could be more important.?" "Than an invitation from the mayor?" Jane interrupted, then answered the question before Lydia had time to catch her breath. "Breakfast and a long chat with an old friend." "Well I never.?" "Then it?s about time you did," a smooth, masculine voice responded behind Jane. She turned to find Ryan Shipman fixing Lydia with a back-off-you?ve-said-enough glare. Lydia?s mouth clamped shut and she fumed silently. Ryan?s eyes slid to examine Jane?s features and a lazy smile curved his lips. "Care to dance?" "I?d love to," Jane responded. Lydia?s mouth once again opened in protest but the quelling look Ryan shot in her direction kept her silent. He took Jane?s hand and proceeded to lead her to an open area on the floor where other couples were dancing. He?d changed little during the past five years, except for a few added pounds around the middle. He was still exceptionally good looking. And still arrogantly confident of his ability to get any

female he might want. Ryan Shipman was the Ken counterpart to Lydia?s Barbie. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful people, the perfect couple ... who hadn?t married. They weren?t even officially engaged. Based upon Rachel?s letters, Lydia claimed Ryan wanted to wait until he got his law degree. Then he wanted to get his law practice going. And still Lydia waited on the sidelines, blind to Ryan?s stalling tactics and extra curricular activities. Jane could almost feel sorry for Lydia--if Lydia wasn?t so self-absorbed. It never entered Lydia?s mind to consider the possibility that Ryan might be looking for a better opportunity before he put a ring on any woman?s finger. Nevertheless, every plain Jane had a secret crush on the Ryan Shipmans of the world--the school heartthrob, good looking and popular, the smooth talking football hero who only dated the prettiest, most popular girls. The band began playing a slow tune from their high school days. Ryan pulled Jane into his arms, his hand sliding slowly across her bare back beneath her hair. "You are so incredibly beautiful, you take my breath away. How could I have missed that back in high school?" Ryan asked as they began moving in time with the music. "Did you even know who I was back then?" Jane responded. He was silent for a moment. Then with a rueful shake of his head admitted, "We had a large class. There were a lot of people I didn?t know." "That?s at least honest." "My loss though." "Not really. You wouldn?t have liked what you saw back then. I?ve changed." "Haven?t we all?" "Not Lydia," Jane pointed out. "Yeah well, Lydia can be a bit.?" "Trying? Overbearing? Arrogant?" Jane suggested. "Among other things," Ryan agreed with a chuckle. From the way he acted they could have been discussing anyone in the class, not the woman who had been his accepted girlfriend for years, the person everyone expected him to marry. "So tell me, how does a girl from Small Town USA become a world famous novelist?" "A lot of luck, hard work, and determination. Hunger is a great motivator," Jane answered honestly. "A woman who knows what she wants and is willing to do what it takes to get there. I like that. In fact, strong, independent women turn me on." Unlike Lydia who still lived with daddy and allowed him to take care of her while she waited for Ryan to take over the role, Jane concluded. It had been her plan to seduce Ryan. She?d quickly realized the seducing part was rather redundant where Ryan Shipman was concerned. He was seduced the moment a

new, reasonably attractive woman came within range. They?d met, if you could call it that, barely a few minutes ago, danced for less than a quarter of a song, and already he was talking about something turning him on. Under other circumstances, Jane would find his conversation offensive. If Janette were writing this particular scenario, the most challenging part of the scene would be to figure out how to get from point (a) to point (b) in order to accomplish point (c) on her list. "And what about aggressive women, Ryan? Do they turn you on as well?" Jane asked boldly, unhampered by the brain dead, tongue-tied, quivering insides that had afflicted her with Tanner Elliot. His response was to pull her tighter against him and whisper in her ear. "Oh yeah. Aggressive, sexually uninhibited women are every man?s fantasy. After reading your book, I?m surprised you didn?t already know that." "You read my book?" Now that surprised her. She didn?t think men like Ryan Shipman read books for the simple enjoyment of doing so. He certainly hadn?t back in school. He?d paid or rather coerced some of the nerdy, students into doing all his book reports for him. "After Lydia told me the author was a classmate, I was intrigued. It was probably the first complete book I?ve read in years," he confessed. "Once I started, I couldn?t put it down until I finished it. It?s a good book." More honesty? Novel approach, Jane assessed, storing away the information for future reference and possible use. In an age where women expected slick lines and outright lies, a man who disarmed a woman with honesty would be much more successful at getting that woman into bed. However in Jane?s case, Ryan?s approach was a moot point. The outcome of this particular game had been decided before the first play was ever made. "Thank you," Jane responded. "I?m flattered." "The sex scenes were incredibly hot. I couldn?t help wondering if the woman behind the pen wrote them based on experience." Jane had to swallow to keep from laughing outright. "I killed off several characters too. That doesn?t mean I had to commit a murder to make the scenes realistic," Jane countered. "You?re not going to satisfy my curiosity, are you?" "Is it your curiosity you?re hoping to satisfy?" His chuckle was a deep, throaty rumble in her ear as he allowed the tips of his fingers to slip past the silver folds of her dress and tease along the small of her back. "I can think of a pleasant way to satisfy both." "Is that a proposition?" "Are you accepting?" As the song wound to its conclusion, Jane?s hand slid into the side pocket of the silver evening bag suspended from her shoulder. She extracted the spare key to her hotel room, slipped it into his hand then turned and walked away. There was something to be said for small towns and old fashioned hotels ... the keys still had the room numbers engraved upon them.

As Jane made her way toward the buffet table she was aware that many pairs of eyes followed her progress. She could sense Ryan?s eyes on her as she walked away so she put just a little more sway in her hips than was normal, not enough to be obvious but enough to hold his attention. And then she froze in her tracks. Her eyes clashed with the deep green of Tanner?s where he stood at the end of the bar with a drink in his hand. Her heart rate accelerated and her insides clenched. It was strange that she?d felt nothing while she was in Ryan Shipman?s arms, discussing sex, their bodies touching as they swayed to the music, his fingertips teasing the exposed flesh of her lower back. Yet the simple act of meeting Tanner?s eyes across a crowded room had her nerve ends tingling with anticipation. Jane literally had to force herself to pull away from the intensity of Tanner?s gaze in order to continue her journey across the room toward the buffet table. Her progress toward getting something to eat was interrupted by several people who stopped her for a brief chat or to autograph a copy of her book. There was Gary Arnold, one of the band group. He was now with the Boston Philharmonic, married with his first child on the way. Marsha Hughes, editor of the school paper and yearbook, was a dedicated career woman who had just secured a position with the New York Times. Carlton Newman, the nerd who had done most of Ryan?s book reports, had opened his own computer software company. A few of the women were happy, stay-at-home moms. And then there was Timothy Johnson, the shy, skinny redhead with freckles who, like Jane, had never had a single date in high school. Tim was now interning at Johns Hopkins and married to a lovely nurse from the same hospital. More than most, it warmed Jane?s heart to see Tim happy and doing well. She?d just excused herself from Tim and his wife when an arm slid around her waist and a plate piled with a selection of food was held in front of her. "We need to talk." Tanner gave her neither time nor the opportunity to protest as he forcefully escorted her across the remaining expanse of the room, through the French doors and into the hallway. "Tanner, what the hell do you..." Jane began when the paralysis left her vocal chords. "What the hell do I think I?m doing?" he snapped. "What the hell do you think you?re doing?" Unable to miss the vein pulsating in his clenched jaw Jane, realized Tanner was thoroughly pissed about something. She remembered enough about the old Tanner to know she?d get no explanation until he was damn good and ready to give it. Jane was also wise enough to know that until she knew what he meant by his question, her best course of action was to keep her mouth shut. When they reached the relatively deserted area in the bar, Tanner escorted her to a table in the corner near a window overlooking the golf course. He put the plate he?d fixed for her on the table. "Eat," was his one word command before he left her there and went to the bar. As she?d always been with Tanner, Jane knew she was way out of her league. What would Janette Hayden do in such a situation? Damned if she knew. So, Jane sat, picked up the fork on the plate and began to eat. In doing so she realized how hungry she actually was. The mini-meatballs were okay but she?d had better. The potato salad was pretty good, but when she took a bite of one of the spicy chicken wings, Jane found herself gasping for breath. It was at that moment that Tanner sat a glass in front of her. Without thinking she picked it up and took a hurried gulp. Big mistake. The alcohol mixed with the hot spices and set her throat on fire. Jane began to cough. Tanner cursed, then hurried back to the bar, and thankfully returned quickly with a glass of water.

Water had never tasted so good. She?d downed half the glass before she could look toward Tanner who was now seated across the table patiently waiting for her to regain her composure. So much for the sophisticated image she?d worked so hard to project. Her very un-sexy fit of coughing did appear, however, to have an unexpected fringe benefit. The cold anger she?d seen in Tanner?s eyes had been replaced by amused tolerance. "Okay, now that I?ve thoroughly humiliated myself, are you ready to tell me what this is all about?" Jane asked, not surprised that her voice was little more than a raspy whisper. "Why don?t you tell me," he countered. He then reached into his pocket, pulled out a folded piece of yellow paper and tossed it onto the table in front of her. "Oh, Lord," Jane groaned inwardly, knowing what was on the paper without reading it. It was the New Year?s Resolutions she?d written out on New Year?s Eve. He must have found them when she dropped her evening bag. "Not wise to carry the incriminating evidence with you, Janie," Tanner stated flatly. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" "Whether I am or not is really none of your business," she countered, embarrassment combined with anger effectively canceling out the extreme reserve she?d always felt in Tanner?s presence. "Probably not, but I?m making it my business nevertheless. Whether or not you realized it, for a lot of years I tried to look out for you when your old man wasn?t around. Someone had to, and old habits die hard." She honestly hadn?t known. Now, thinking back, Jane remembered all the times Tanner had escorted her drunken father home from his favorite bar. How he?d put her father to bed and insisted she lock up the house behind him when he left. And then there were those late nights she?d spent at the library in order to stay away from the house as long as possible. Tanner somehow always managed to be around to see that she got home safely. While her father had never mistreated her, he was rarely there, emotionally or physically. After her mother walked out on them, he?d been so devastated, he turned to alcohol for comfort. Just as Jane had turned to junk food and books as her escape. Her father died of a heart attack two years after she left home and to this day Jane still felt guilty, wondering if things would have been different if she?d stayed in town. Where Tanner was concerned, Jane realized she?d been so frightened by what he made her feel, so intimidated by him, she?d been clueless as to what he?d been doing. It had never occurred to her that someone like Tanner, someone so good-looking, would care enough about someone like her to secretly look out for her. Jane was so shocked by the revelation, she didn?t know what to say. Tanner?s life hadn?t been any better than her own. While his mother had been there, she went through men like Jane?s father went through alcohol. The youngest of five children, each fathered by a different man, Tanner didn?t know who his own father was. Although his father was rumored to be one of the so called prominent citizens in town. Was it any wonder they?d both left town as soon as they were free to do so? "Nothing to say for yourself and your insane plan, Janie?" Tanner asked, snapping Jane from her less than pleasant memories. "Tanner, I?ve been on my own for over five years now. And as you can see, I?ve done a pretty darn

good job of taking care of myself," Jane insisted. "My only regret is that I honestly didn?t know you were looking out for me back then." "That isn?t what I was talking about and you know it." "I know what I?m doing, Tanner." "Like hell. Dammit Janie, you?re planning to give the most precious gift a woman can give a man to someone with the morals of an alley cat. To someone so self-centered he won?t care about what you need or feel. Not to mention the Russian roulette factor." "Russian roulette?" "You?re a virgin, dammit, but you?re not stupid or naive. I?ve read your book." "Are you any different? We went to school together, Tanner. Your reputation with women wasn?t much better than Ryan?s." "Wrong. I didn?t spend my time in the locker room bragging about my scoring record. And I?m not talking about football. I at least confined my activities to girls who knew the score and who knew how to protect themselves. If they didn?t, I did. Even back then I was responsible enough not to leave any more bastard children running around town without a father. The same can?t be said for Ryan Shipman." Tanner tossed back the remainder of his drink in one gulp. "Don?t do it, Janie. The first time for a woman is too important. You deserve better." "And if no one better comes along to take care of my ... problem?" "Dammit, Janie," Tanner groaned. The pulse beating in his jaw was once again visible. His jaw clenched. "If you?re hell bent on losing your virginity, I?ll do it myself before I?ll let you waste yourself on someone like Ryan Shipman. At least then, I?ll know you?re with someone who will take care of you." Oh my God. Had Tanner offered what she thought he was offering? To say the least, it was not the most romantic proposition a woman could receive. Mental and verbal paralysis set in. Her heart rate shot up and her nerve ends went on full-scale sensual alert. Jane was shocked. She was tempted. She was turned on. She was scared to death. Tanner rose to his feet and rounded the table. His hand slid through the hair at the nape of her neck then tugged gently to tilt her head back. His lips descended, hot, hard and demanding against hers, then gentled to a teasing, coaxing caress as his tongue traced the seam between her lips. An involuntary moan vibrated at the back of Jane?s throat and her lips parted to allow him access. His tongue slid inside, hot and moist, to thrust and parry with hers. And then pulled away from her. Jane literally had to force her eyes to open, finding the effort as difficult as waking from a deep sleep after an all night writing session. In the unfathomable green depths of the eyes staring down at her, Jane saw the fire of passion and icy resolve. Fire and ice at the same time? Was that possible? Until this moment, Jane wouldn?t have thought so. "The choice is yours, sweetheart." There was the clink of metal against glass as Tanner laid the key to his hotel room on the tabletop in front of her. And then he turned and left her alone to make her decision. She could still feel the imprint of

his lips upon hers, still taste the flavor of the expensive scotch from his tongue. There were two glasses on the table in front of her--water and the same scotch Tanner had been drinking. Her hand trembled as she reached for the scotch. As a writer, Jane had carefully thought everything through, had actually sat down and plotted out the scenario as if she were writing a story with herself as the main character. Her ultimate goal in attending the reunion was to fulfill her New Year?s resolutions: to put the past and her virginity behind her with no regrets, leaving here with her heart, emotions, and her conscience unscathed by the experience. With Ryan she believed she could accomplish just that. Tanner had been correct. Ryan Shipman was a sexually experienced, womanizing jerk. But then, she?d already known that. Those very qualities had been the deciding factor in Ryan?s favor. She?d had no desire to use someone who hadn?t used countless women for the same purpose. She hadn?t wanted to be with someone who would want or expect something beyond this one night. Tanner Elliot was a complication Jane hadn?t anticipated. She picked up the key to his hotel room. It felt warm in her hand as if still radiating the heat absorbed from his body. If she took Tanner up on his offer, could she walk away tomorrow unscathed by the experience? "Jane, have you seen Ryan?" Jane looked up to find Lydia standing beside her table. She?d been so lost in thought, she hadn?t been aware of the other woman?s approach. "He was still in the ballroom when I left," Jane responded. It was the truth. Ryan had still been there when she left the room. Jane also knew exactly where he?d gone. "Misplaced your significant other, have you?" Lydia?s teeth bit down on her bottom lip and a fine sheen of tears filled her eyes as they scanned the bar area. "Of course not," she nearly snapped back. "I just thought he might have come in here to get away from the crowd. He does that sometimes." Paybacks were a bitch. Jane clearly remembered countless times when Lydia had reduced someone to tears with her arrogance and her sharp tongue. Lydia had just handed Jane the opportunity to even the score for all those Lydia had thoughtlessly hurt in the past. All she had to do was tell Lydia where she could find her faithless lover. Jane couldn?t do it. She realized that to deliberately hurt Lydia, no matter how much she might deserve it, would give her no satisfaction. The past could not be undone. By keeping a man like Ryan in her life, Lydia was inviting a form of self-flagellation, which more than compensated for the hurts she?d inflicted on others. The sad truth was, Ryan would probably marry Lydia, eventually. By getting what she wanted, Lydia would commit herself to a life sentence filled with infidelity and heartbreak. In that moment, Jane realized the prettiest, richest, most popular girl from her graduating class had nothing she envied or wanted. Quite the opposite. "I?m sorry, Lydia. I haven?t seen him," was all she said. "Jane," Lydia began almost hesitantly. "What you?ve done with your life is incredible. It must be so exciting. I really envy you." Jane was flabbergasted by the admission. Lydia Talbot of all people was envious of her, plain Jane

Smith. Amazing. "Well, I?m glad you were able to make it tonight. It was nice seeing you again," Lydia said, and for the first time Jane heard a ring of sincerity in her voice. "I?m glad I came too," Jane responded, recognizing the truth in her own statement. Her decision regarding the remainder of tonight had been made. Whatever the outcome, she would rather live with the consequences of that decision than to always regret what she didn?t do. As Tanner had done before her, Jane tossed back the remainder of her drink, returned the glass to the table and rose to her feet. "Why don?t we walk back to the ballroom together? I want to speak to Rachel for a few minutes then I?m heading back to the hotel."

****

Jane hesitated outside of room 316. Should she knock and wait for him to answer? Or should she use the key he?d given her and boldly walk in without knocking? It wasn?t as if she had previous experience in this sort of thing to know what was proper or expected. The old plain Jane would have chickened out, gotten into her car and spent the night in Rachel?s spare bedroom. "Still running, Janie?" With the memory of Tanner?s taunt and the sound of his knowing laughter strengthening her resolve, Jane reached out and inserted the key in the lock. Annoyed that her hand was trembling, she reached for the lever, pressed down then pushed the door open and stepped into the room. Wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants, his back against two stacked pillows, Tanner was reclining upon the turned down bed, studying pages from the opened manila folder on his lap. If Jane caught a glimpse of surprise in his expression, it was quickly masked. A lazy smile curved his lips as he returned the papers to the folder, closed it and set it aside upon the bedside table. He rose to his feet and stood facing her. Jane was quick to note that the sweat pants had been loosely tied and were now riding low on his hips. "Where?s Ryan?" he asked. "Cooling his heels in my room, I expect. Waiting for someone who won?t be showing up." "A novel experience for him." "Yeah well, maybe it?s time he experienced the unexpected. I?ve heard it builds character." "Ryan Shipman? I strongly doubt it." Unable to ignore the brief flash of surprise she thought she saw in his expression when she entered the room, Jane couldn?t resist asking, "You didn?t think I?d show up here either, did you?" "No. I didn?t expect you to show." "And just where did you expect me to spend the night, Tanner?"

"To be perfectly honest, I figured you?d hide out at Rachel?s until you were ready to leave town tomorrow." It unnerved and annoyed her that Tanner Elliot knew her so well. In response she laid the key to his room on the bureau beside the television. "If you hoped I wouldn?t take you up on your offer, Tanner, you shouldn?t have made it." "I expect Ryan will be thinking the same thing before this night is over," Tanner countered. "Will he?" Jane tossed back. "I guess that?s up to you." With that challenge Jane turned prepared to leave Tanner?s room. Jane already knew she would not be able to go to Ryan in her own room. She also suspected Rachel wouldn?t be at all surprised when Jane showed up on her doorstep. Tanner was on her before she reached the door. Her shoulders were grasped in an almost punishing grip as he spun her around to face the blistering fury in his eyes. "Why are you so hell bent on doing this, Jane? You?ve waited this long. Why now?" "It?s something I have to do," she said. It was all the explanation she was willing to offer. He cursed under his breath and then pulled her into his arms. She could sense him trying to get himself under control. He just stood there holding her for a moment, taking slow deep breaths. With his lips caressing the top of her head, he confessed, "You weren?t exactly right when you accused me of hoping you wouldn?t take me up of my proposition. Everything male in me hoped you would. It was only for your sake I hoped you wouldn?t." Held against him as she was, her cheek rested on his bare, hair roughen chest. If she moved her head just a little to the right, she could kiss his nipple which was puckered much as she suspected were her own. "Why, Tanner?" "Why did I lay here hoping you?d show, fantasizing about how I?d make love to you if you did? Because you?re a beautiful, incredibly sexy woman and I?m human. Why did another part of me hope you wouldn?t? Because as I said earlier, old habits die hard and I still felt the need to protect you, even from me." "And as I said earlier, I can take care of myself. I know what I want, Tanner." To prove her point Jane gave in to temptation, kissing her way across his muscular chest until her tongue snaked out to caress his nipple. He sucked air into his lungs. One hand slid beneath her hair onto her bare back while his other hand gripped the hair at the nape of her neck and tugged her head back until she was looking up at him. There was nothing cold in the depths of the green eyes looking down into hers. "You?re playing with fire, Janie," he warned. "God, I hope so," she murmured. "Show me what you were thinking about doing to me while you were laying on the bed hoping I would, yet wouldn?t, take you up on your offer. Experience the fantasy, Tanner" "Oh, God," he groaned before his lips descended, once again meeting hers. There was nothing gentle nor

coaxing in this kiss. It was hot and passionate, setting her nerve ends on fire. His tongue pressed against her lips demanding entrance. Hers parted and he thrust inside, causing her insides to clench and grow moist. Jane?s hands slid up his chest and around his neck as a long, drawn out moan vibrated at the back of her throat. The hand on her back slid down past the silver lamé folds until it gripped her silk clad behind and pulled her tightly against the hardness his sweat pants did nothing to conceal. Bending his knees in order to position his erection where it would have the most effect, he pressed forward, thrusting rhythmically against her until she instinctively thrusting back to increase the sensation. Only when her knees went weak, forcing him to hold her tighter to keep her from falling, did he break off the kiss. Jane groaned in protest when his lips left hers. "Easy, sweetheart," he whispered against her parted lips. "We?re going to have to slow things down or I won?t last long enough to make it all as it should be for you." So lost in the passionate haze induced so easily by his kiss, Jane hadn?t realized he had been moving them toward the bed until the backs of her legs connected with the immovable object. His lips brushed back and forth across hers in a mere whisper of a caress, continuing until she instinctively went up on her toes and attempted to draw him closer for firmer contact. With a sigh of satisfaction he moved from her lips to drop feather light kisses on each closed eyelid, her forehead and down her cheek to where his teeth bit gently into her diamond studded earlobe. When his tongue snaked out to tease the inside of her ear, a tingle slithered down her back forcing a startled gasp from her lips. His hands gripped hers and slid them down to his chest. "Touch me, Jane," he instructed softly. She needed no further encouragement. Her eyes snapped opened, fascinated as she watched the play of her pearl tipped nails as they sifted through the dark hair on his chest. The tickling sensation, created by his slightly course chest hair against her palms, and the feel of his firm muscles, which flexed beneath her exploring hands, intensified the heavy feeling growing between her legs. His hands smoothed down the side of her neck, caressing and massaging as they followed a path across her shoulders and down her arm, taking the fine silver lamé with them until the only thing holding the dress up was the swell of her breasts. A gentle tug was all it took to expose her full, firm breasts to his heated gaze. "Oh, Lord," Tanner emitted a muffled groan which Jane could feel vibrating within his chest, as he sucked in another deep breath. "Do you realize the moment you walked through those doors into the ballroom, you had every red blooded male in that room drooling into their beer, speculating whether or not you were wearing some kind of bra under that gown." "I?m not," Jane murmured, stating the obvious, then gasped as his hands cupped and molded the fullness of those breasts. He alternated between squeezing gently and caressing as he rubbed the rough pad of his thumb across her destined nipple. "Oh yes. That feels so good," she moaned softly. Only his hold on her breasts and her hands gripping his bulging biceps kept her from falling when her legs again went weak. Her passion swollen, aching breasts felt cold and deprived when the warmth of his palms left them to slide down her sides, smoothing her gown over her hips and down her thighs until it lay puddled upon the carpet at her feet. It was an action which left her standing before him wearing only a silver garter belt

topped with silver bikini panties, shimmering thigh-high hose, and her silver high heels. "Jesus." Tanner emitted a low throaty growl. "The fantasy didn?t do you justice. You are the most incredibly sexy woman I?ve ever seen." Not able to miss the disbelieving expression darkening her eyes, Tanner responded, "You honestly don?t realize how beautiful you are, do you? You don?t see yourself as others see you at all." "I?m still me, Tanner. The same Jane Smith," she protested, however weakly. Before tonight, no man had ever called her beautiful. Before tonight she had never experienced many things. She didn?t know if their compliments were merely lines used for effect or if they honestly meant what they were saying. "No, you are not the same old Jane Smith. And before this night is over, you?ll damn well realize it." With that statement Tanner pushed Jane down until she was sitting on the edge of the bed. A good thing, because Jane wasn?t sure how much longer her quivering legs would support her. Tanner went to his knees in front of her. Applying pressure to the insides of her knees, he pushed her legs apart and moved between them. "Kiss me," he instructed. "Let me feel your hot tongue inside my mouth." Jane hesitated for only an instant before she slid her hands up his arms, across his shoulder and around his neck. The first touch of her lips against his was tentative but when he filled his hands with her breasts she became more aggressive, tracing the seam of his lips with her tongue as he?d done with her and sliding inside when they parted. His lips clamped down on her tongue and he began a gentle suckling motion, which corresponded with the massaging tempo he was using on her breasts. The dual sensations merged inside her until they settled like a hot, molten pool between her legs. He pulled back and began kissing his way down her neck, down her chest and across the swell of her breast until his hot, moist tongue replaced his fingers, which had been stimulating her nipple to an almost painful hardness. When he sucked her nipple into his mouth and began to suckle her forcefully, Jane?s arms dropped from his shoulders and her hands gripped the edge of the mattress for support. Not satisfied with the little whimpering sounds emanating from her parted lips, he continued his ministrations, alternating between breasts until her legs were tensing against his shoulders. She was squirming on the bed and gasping for breath as the sensations he was creating in her breasts started her on the climb toward her first orgasm. Only then did he leave her heaving breasts and kiss his way down her flat stomach, down the silky texture of her panties. When his lips reached the lamé protected juncture between her legs, his tongue traced the damp valley between her lower lips. Jane?s body tensed and jerked as if she?d received an electrical shock. Tanner placed his parted lips against her and blew. His breath against her wetness felt both cold and hot, creating a sensation of even more heat within her. "Oh, God," Jane moaned helplessly. "I can?t take any more." "Yes you can. We?re just getting started." Leaving the apex of her desire, Tanner kissed and nipped at the inside of her thigh as he reached down and removed one shoe. He switched to the other thigh as he removed the other. His hands massaged her calves as they moved up the backs of her legs, then slid around her to hook his thumbs into the elastic at the top of her panties.

"Time to turn up the heat, sweetheart," he told Jane before he pulled them downward, sliding his hands beneath her to tug the silky fabric out from under her, down her legs and off. With the palms of his hands resting on the insides of her thighs, he pushed her legs wider apart to give him easier access. Tanner looked up, devouring her with his gaze before he proceeded to the next step. Did he think she would be capable of telling him to stop at this point? Jane was so caught up in the mind numbing sensations he?d created within her, she couldn?t have stopped him if her life depended on it. In truth, she felt there was a very strong possibility she would die, if he didn?t finish what he?d started. Unable to pull her eyes away, Jane watched as Tanner leaned in and allowed his tongue to trace the wet crevice between her legs, which had previously been hidden beneath the fine silk protection. This time there was no restriction to hamper his actions. Jane sucked in a deep shuddering breath and a helpless moan of pleasure rumbled deep inside her. His hands slid further upward until his thumbs parted her, exposing the engorged bud of pleasure. His tongue snaked out to circle the bud, then to tease and toy with it until Jane?s entire body tensed, her breathing becoming ragged. Unable to control the cravings of her body, she began to push herself forward to intensify the pressure as waves of sensation gripped her, hurtling her toward the climax she?d only imagined when his mouth was suckling at her breasts. His lips closed around her, sucking gently, pushing her closer to the edge of release. Her eyes closed. Her head dropped back. She could feel it. She could almost taste the orgasm her body craved. And then she felt cold air as he blew against her to cool her down. Jane?s eyes snapped opened and her head jerked up. He was watching her, gauging her responses. "Please, Tanner, I..." "Not yet, baby," he insisted. "You?re not ready, yet." Not ready? If she were any more ready, she would throw herself at him and rape him on the floor beside the bed. To prove his point Tanner slowly slid one finger inside her. An I-told-you-so grin tugged at his lips when her entire body tensed and her lips parted in a silent gasp. "You?re so hot and wet for me, honey. But you?re still too tense and too tight." Tanner rose to his feet and tugged at the cord holding his sweatpants up. He slid them down his hips, his legs, and then he stepped out of them, proving what Jane had already suspected, he?d worn nothing beneath. As he stood before her, hard, erect and ready, Jane couldn?t repress the small gasp that escaped her. To say that she was a naive virgin who was shocked by the sight of a male penis would be asinine. A woman doesn?t reach the age of twenty-four without knowing what they looked like. Especially one who read as many books as she did. Not to mention all the sex manuals she?d researched while writing her first book. Tanner was a large man. She should have expected he?d be large ... everywhere. Jane would be lying if she didn?t admit to being apprehensive, but she was so turned on at this point, she didn?t care. Never in her life had she wanted anything as much as she wanted to feel him inside her. Sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the near perfection of his body, there was also something else she wanted. She?d read about it. Had even written about it. Now she wanted to experience it. Reaching out, Jane cupped him then slid her hand up his rigid erection and was thrilled when she heard the deep moan of pleasure her action drew from him. Encouraged by his response she leaned forward and slid her

tongue across the soft tip of his erection. "Um, Jane. I don?t think that is a good idea at this point," he groaned. To Jane?s ears his protest sounded more forced than convincing. As a result she slid her tongue down the length of him then back up to the tip where she placed a kiss before she looked up at him. His eyes burned with passion and his jaw was clenched as if he were fighting for control. "You don?t like it?" she asked with feigned innocence. A nearly pained expression crossed his features as he groaned, "Christ, Jane. I?m a man. Of course I like it. I just.?" "And I know what I want," she interrupted. His reaction giving her a confidence she?d never before experienced she added, "Tell me if I?m not doing it right." Before Tanner could respond, she slid her left hand around him to grip his clenched behind and pulled him closer as her lips closed around the tip of his engorged erection. Sliding her lips downward she took as much of him as she could comfortably take into her mouth, then slid back up to the tip, and then down again. It didn?t take long for her to find a rhythm between her head movements and the gentle sucking that had him moaning above her. His hand cupped the back of her head, guiding her movements as his other hand grasped the post at the foot of the bed. When his buttocks began quivering beneath her hand and he began to thrust between her lips, his hand gripped her hair and he forcefully pulled her from him. Perspiration from the control he was exerting beaded his brow. "Dammit, Jane. If you don?t stop now, I won?t be able to hold back." "Who?s asking you to?" Tanner had to take a deep, shuddering breath before he could respond. "You don?t have to do this." "I know. That?s why I want to." With his right hand under her chin, a hand that trembled slightly, he forced her to look up and meet his gaze. "You?re absolutely sure you want to do this?" He was barely holding on to his control. That knowledge gave Jane a heady sense of power. To make a man like Tanner Elliot fight for control was an incredible turn on. What would it be like to make him lose it altogether? "Isn?t it true that if you come once, you?ll be able to last longer when we actually??" "Yes, but.?" "That?s all I needed to hear." This time Tanner made no attempt to stop her when her lips closed around him and she took him inside her mouth. Determined to make him lose control, she redoubled the efforts he?d interrupted. It didn?t take long. With his hand on her head guiding her movements, at first he was able to control his thrusts to

easy and shallow. As his moans became more intense, his breathing more ragged, his thrusts became more forceful. With a deep, guttural groan, which came from deep inside him, Tanner thrust forcefully once, then attempted to withdraw. Jane refused to release him, determined to take from him everything he had to give. When Jane at last looked up at Tanner, his eyes were closed, his head was still thrown back and he was struggling to get his breathing under control. The incredibly tender expression in Tanner?s eyes when he opened them and looked down at her caused Jane?s heart to flutter in her chest. "Jesus, lady. Where did you learn how to...?" "Research," Jane interrupted quickly. As insane as it sounded, despite what she?d just done, Jane was afraid of how he might have finished that sentence. "You said you read my book. My research is thorough. The instructions in the sex manuals I read were extremely detailed, and I?m a quick study." "And then some," Tanner added, then asked softly, "Are you okay? Do you need to go into the bathroom or something?" Was this one of those awkward moments between lovers? Did most women rush to the bathroom to brush their teeth or maybe even to be sick? Jane had found the experience to be all and more than she?d imagined. She couldn?t deny the sensation had felt strange, the taste of him unusual but not at all unpleasant. The truth was, making love to Tanner with her mouth, bringing him to the point of losing control, had left her more aroused than when she started. "Except that I?m hotter than hell, I?m fine," Jane admitted honestly, in an attempt to ease the awkwardness. "Do you need to rest, before we??" Then looking down at his still rigid erection, answered her own question. "I guess not." A slow, confident grin curved his lips. "No, it doesn?t look like it. Does it?" Tanner leaned down and with one arm beneath her knees and the other around her back, he lifted her fully onto the bed. "You are one incredible women, Jane Smith," he told her when he had her situated in a reclining position with her back against the stacked pillows. He sat down beside her, reached for the glass on the bedside table and held it to her lips. The expensive scotch slid smoothly down her throat, the effects adding fuel to the fire already burning inside her. Tanner took a drink from the glass, swallowed, then took another drink, without swallowing. His lips meet hers. At the urging of his tongue, her lips parted and Tanner shared with Jane, the liquid he?d heated inside his own mouth. The taste of him, the liquor, and possibly even herself on his tongue, effectively vanquished any remnants of control Jane had been holding on to. His lips left hers to kiss a blazing trail down to her aching breasts. As she?d said earlier, Jane was a quick study. She quickly realized if she moaned a certain way and arched her back to press her breasts more firmly into his hands and mouth, Tanner would be less gentle, squeezing, and sucking with more force. Instead of teasing her nipples with his tongue he would bite just hard enough to be on the pleasure side of painful. When he had her moaning and writhing on the bed, Tanner removed the pillows from behind her back and pulled her downward until she was lying flat. Reaching into the drawer of the bedside table for a

condom, he quickly tore open the foil packet and sheathed himself before he climbed onto the bed between her legs. Jane was ready. Lord, was she ever ready. Tanner, however, didn?t seem to think so. Instead of entering her as Jane expected, he kissed his way down her chest and down her stomach, until she felt the heat of his lips between her legs. His tongue toyed with the bud of her desire, pushing her closer to the climax her body craved. When he again slid a finger into her, Jane?s body tensed instinctively at the intrusion. "Relax, honey. Let your body adjust," Tanner instructed softly. His lips closed around her and began a gentle suckling rhythm calculated to heighten her arousal, pushing her closer to the desired orgasm. When she began to arch herself against his hand, keeping a steady pressure with his lips at her love button, Tanner inserted a second finger and began stretching her to help ease his way when he entered her. Sensation began washing over Jane in heated waves as her insides began to clench at the fingers inside her. "Oh, God. Oh, God, Tanner. Don?t stop," Jane pleaded, her breathing mere ragged gasps for breath as she thrust more insistently against his hand. Tanner stopped just before she reached the crest and toppled into the oblivion which was so close. "Tanner, please." Jane wasn?t above pleading at this point. She was beyond modesty or inhibitions. "I know, honey," Tanner crooned softly. "I?ll take care of you," he promised. Then explained as he reached into the drawer of the bedside table for a jar of lubricant. " You?re so tight. I don?t want to hurt you any more than I have to." Under other circumstances, watching Tanner?s hand slick the gel onto his rigid erection would be a turn on, but she was already so aroused it bordered on agony. "Now, Tanner. I need you now." He needed no further urging. Tanner moved over her, placing his hands beside her head, he used the strength of his arms to hold the bulk of his weight off her slender body. Leaning down he placed a tender kiss upon her parted lips. "Now, Tanner." "Yes, baby. Now." Despite Tanner?s careful preparation, Jane was unable to restrain her gasp when he gently slid the head of his erection into her. When he pressed forward a little further, Jane?s entire focus was no longer on the orgasm which had been so close. It was on the pressure, the stretching sensation, which was more uncomfortable than painful. "Am I hurting you," Tanner asked, concern evident in his voice. He stopped, allowing her body to adjust to his size. "You?re not hurting me," she assured him. "Don?t stop, Tanner. I need you.? "You have to relax, honey. I?ll be as gentle as I can." Tanner went down on one forearm to support his weight and slid his other hand between them. Using the tip of his finger he manipulated her pleasure button until he once again pushed her toward an impending orgasm where nothing mattered except

finding release. With every gentle thrust he slid in a little easier, a little deeper. The first spasms signaling her orgasm began gripping his straining erection as he at last came up against the barrier preventing him from entering her completely. Holding himself still inside her, Tanner looked down at Jane. "You?re still intact, Janie. I can make you come without taking your virginity." The tightly leashed control in his expression and the sincerity in his voice assured Jane that she could trust him to do exactly that. If she told him to stop, even at this point, Jane knew he would do that as well. She didn?t want him to stop. She wanted, needed it all. "Do it, Tanner," Jane insisted, her voice an impassioned whisper. "I need to feel all of you inside me." Settling into a slow, steady rhythm, Tanner withdrew and thrust until her insides began to spasm and her body tensed. Jane was caught by a veritable tidal wave of pleasure. "Don?t struggle for it, baby. Let it take you," Tanner crooned softly. He withdrew almost completely, then thrust forward powerfully, breaking through her restrictive barrier, sinking to the hilt into her hot wet depths. Any pain she might have felt was masked by the intensity of the orgasm, which held her in its grip refusing to let go. "Oh, yes. That?s it. Go with it." While he thrust in and out of her in a slow, steady rhythm, Tanner continued to manipulate her with his finger, drawing out her orgasm as far as it would go. When it was over, Jane?s body went limp, her heart was thundering in her chest, and she couldn?t seem to suck enough air into her constricted lungs. Nothing she had read, nothing she had written, nothing she had fantasized, came anywhere close to describing the earth shattering intensity of the pleasure Tanner had given her. When her heart rate slowed to a less frightening level, Jane opened her eyes to find Tanner looking down at her, watching her intently. Being careful not to crush her with his weight, he was now rest on both forearms. "You okay?" he asked. "Um, wonderful," she practically purred, a contented smile curving her lips. "Yes, you are," Tanner agreed before he leaned down to kiss her gently. A kiss was all it took. Her arms slid around his neck, her tongue slid into his mouth and she instinctively arched against the erection still embedded within her. How was it possible she still wanted more? Tanner deepened the kiss. His tongue warred with hers as he pulled his erection all the way out of her, then slid back inside slowly, inch by inch. When her insides tightened and clenched around him, he moaned softly. "I take it you didn?t..."

He flexed inside her making it unnecessary for Jane to finish the question. "Trust me. If you hadn?t taken care of me, prior to..." Tanner began then left the remainder of his sentence unspoken. "Then don?t you think we should ... finish?" "Aren?t you sore? I mean, are you sure you?re ready for more?" "Oh, I?m positive." With a surprised, yet pleased groan, Tanner began making love to her again. The sensations of her impending orgasm was almost immediate, and no less intense than the previous one, but Tanner?s slow, easy thrusts weren?t taking her there fast enough. "Harder," she pleaded. "I won?t break, Tanner." "The lady wants it hard and fast, does she?" he responded, rising up on his palms, his weight supported by his muscular arms. "Oh, yes." Without breaking the connection between them, Tanner went up on his knees. Clasping her by the calves he pushed her legs upward until she was bent at the knees and spread wide open for him. He looked down to where they were joined, then reached down and massaged her with the pad of his thumb. With a shuddering moan she arched her back, seeking more intense contact. Still holding onto her calves, he wrapped her legs around his waist. He reached for one of the discarded pillows at the foot of the bed and slid it under her hips. As he moved back up her body, Jane could feel his erection embedding itself deeper inside her. He paused at her breasts to suckle forcefully and nip gently with his teeth until he nearly drove her wild. When he was at last poised above her, he gripped her by the wrists and pulled her arms above her head until her hands met the wooden spindles on the headboard. "Hold on tight, baby. You wanted it hard and fast, that?s what you?ll get." He paused for an instant as if giving her a chance to change her mind. Jane?s response was to grip the spindles in the headboard as he?d instructed. Sliding his hands beneath her, Tanner gripped her shoulders from behind, holding her secure as he pulled out of her with excruciating slowness. Angling his hips for the deepest penetration, he thrust forcefully into her, burying himself to the hilt. He watched her reaction for any hint of causing her pain before thrusting into her again. "Oh, yes," she moaned in response. "Oh, God, you feel so good." Tanner?s control snapped. The ride he gave her was not only hard and fast, it was hot, wild, unrestrained passion.

Jane?s orgasm erupted with the intensity of a locomotive at full speed. His lips descended swallowing her uninhibited scream of passion. Almost simultaneously she swallowed his guttural growl as he followed her into sensual oblivion. His head dropped forward, resting his forehead against hers. Satiated and exhausted, neither of them were capable of speech for long moments as they waited for their breathing, heart rates, and the world to stabilize. "You okay? I didn?t hurt you, did I?" Tanner asked earnestly. "If you did, I missed it. I was too busy with other things." Jane?s honest response was met with a soft chuckle. With a reluctant sigh, Tanner rolled off her and on to his back. Sitting up, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and rose to his feet. "Don?t run off. I?ll be right back," he told her before he turned and headed for the bathroom. Don?t run off? If the quivering in her thighs were an indication of her current condition, she would be lucky if she was able to walk, much less run. No, she wouldn?t be going anywhere, anytime soon. The sound of the commode flushing in the bathroom was followed shortly thereafter by the sound of water running in the bathtub. With her body compelling her to close her eyes and sleep, it was all Jane could do to pull herself up in a near sitting position against the headboard. Jane didn?t want to sleep. She didn?t want to miss a single moment of the brief time she had with Tanner. When Tanner emerged from the bathroom, instead of returning to the bed, he went to the compact refrigerator unit located beneath the bar. Jane couldn?t pull her eyes from the perfection of his body. Totally unselfconscious of his nudity, he leaned down and opened the door, giving Jane a tantalizing view of his firm backside. A description of which, would be an absolute must in her next book. He straightened, closed the door of refrigerator unit with his foot, and then turned to look at Jane. His grin was a dead give-away that he knew she?d been watching his every move. "Your one addiction, as I remember it," Tanner said as he held up a soft drink can for her inspection. That he?d remembered something so simple about her, touched something deep inside Jane that she wasn?t prepared to analyze. Flipping open the tab on the top of the can as he walked toward the bed, Tanner took a long drink himself before he handed the soft drink to Jane. She didn?t attempt to restrain her sigh of satisfaction when the cold liquid slid soothingly down her parched throat. Compared to the complementary bottle of expensive champagne she?d had in her solitary hotel room at Waldorf Astoria on New Years Eve, this simple can of soda shared with Tanner won hands down. After taking another long drink from the can, Jane set it on the bedside table. Noting the box of condoms and the jar of lubricant, she couldn?t resist asking, "Um, Tanner?" "Uh-huh." "For someone who didn?t expect me to show up, you certainly had the necessary supplies on hand."

His laughter was a deep rumble in his chest as he reached down and scooped her up into his arms. "As I said earlier, while I didn?t think you?d show, part of me hoped you would. I wanted to be prepared ... just in case." "You?re a regular Boy Scout, Tanner Elliot," she responded with a chuckle, as he carried her toward the bathroom. "Trust me, darlin?, Boy Scout was never this much fun." In the bathroom, Tanner went to his knees and eased Jane?s aching body into the blissfully warm water filling the tub. He turned off the taps and reached for a rolled up towel, which he placed behind her head. "Close your eyes and relax, honey," he instructed softly. He then proceeded to gently wash every inch of her body, from her neck to the tips of her toes.

****

Closing her car door behind her, Jane turned to look back at her friend Rachel who was standing in the doorway of her charming, three bedroom, brick ranch home which was located in a middle class suburban neighborhood. Over breakfast, while discussing their individual experiences hobnobbing with the people they?d envied all their lives, both women realized they had reached the same conclusion. It was an interesting place to visit, but they wouldn?t want to live there, at least not in this town. For Rachel?s part, the experience had opened her eyes to the fact that she already had what most people wanted ... things money couldn?t buy. She was married to a man who adored her--an average Joe, blue color worker, who made her eyes light up the moment he walked into the room. Rachel had an adorable, healthy, two years old son who could easily be a terrible-twos poster child, and she was expecting their second child in the fall. She was radiant, literally glowing with happiness. What a shame it would have been to diminish that happiness by wasting her time bemoaning what she didn?t have, instead of appreciating the genuine quality of the life with which she had been blessed. Rachel freely admitted she had been doing exactly that, until she had a close-up and personal glimpse into how the so-called other half lived. With one last wave of farewell Rachel went inside and closed the door behind her. For Jane?s part, with Tanner, she had experienced the most incredible fantasy any woman could desire. After he?d so tenderly bathed her and dried her with a fluffy towel, they?d returned to the bed. Throughout the remainder of the night they had not only put a serious dent in his supply of condoms, they had also talked. They had shared their hopes and expectations for the future as well as their concerns. Jane?s brief journey into the past had far exceeded her expectations. She had fulfilled the first of her New Years resolutions. The last one, get a real life, Jane believed she was ready to do just that. Whether Tanner Elliot would have a leading role in that life remained to be seen. He had her address, phone number, and e-mail address. She hoped he would get in touch with her. She was pretty sure he would. But if he didn?t ... the new and improved Jane Smith was quite capable of going after what, or rather who she wanted. Jane turned the key in the ignition and her new car started with a low, powerful purr. Whether it was

Jane Smith or Janette Hayden who drove the low slung, silver sports car out of town no longer mattered. They were both the same person, and that person recognized the possibilities this New Year had to offer. The End