Running to Love 2
Broken Kyle saves Tabitha from a life destined to be cold and joyless. She has no one and he is drawn to her, wanting to be that important person in her life. He seduces her and introduces her to the sexual delights of the D/s lifestyle, allowing Tabitha to let go of the burden of taking total care of herself. Tabitha revels in her newfound sexuality and blossoms under his care. They complement one another and met each other's needs. She falls in love with him and gives him her trust, even though Kyle never tells her that he reciprocates. Kyle inadvertently betrays Tabitha's trust, and she is humiliated and hurt. Her new life is in shambles. Can Kyle fix it? Or is Tabitha too broken? Note: This book contains forced seduction. Genre: Contemporary Length: 32,301 words
BROKEN Running to Love 2
Allyson Young
EROTIC ROMANCE
Siren Publishing, Inc. www.SirenPublishing.com
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A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK IMPRINT: Erotic Romance
BROKEN Copyright © 2012 by Allyson Young E-book ISBN: 1-61926-369-6 First E-book Publication: March 2012 Cover design by Jinger Heaston All cover art and logo copyright © 2012 by Siren Publishing, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
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BROKEN Running to Love 2 ALLYSON YOUNG Copyright © 2012
Prologue Kyle watched a mask slip over Tabitha’s features, a mask he hadn’t seen in a long time, the one she had used to defend herself from others, the one she hid behind to veil her feelings. He felt a hitch in his chest at her response because he actually couldn’t read if it reflected distaste or caution. Tabi knew what he used to do here or, at least, what his role had been before he met her, and his training films continued to be utilized. They were shown to a select few and were not considered pornography. She had voiced her understanding when he had carefully explained how he had trained women and sometimes matched them with other Doms. This served to both protect women from wannabes who could cause considerable harm, and sometimes led to long-term relationships, much like what they now shared. They would talk about it again because her reaction might have to do with some lingering insecurity within her. They belonged to each other now. He had worked hard to gain her trust, and she had given herself over to him totally and willingly. He was fairly certain that he had given himself to her. We are often the products of our childhood, he mused. When he first met Tabi, his bullshit meter went to high alert, and he knew to look behind the beautifully constructed defense that projected a well-
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adjusted, confident woman. It took considerable time to discover the wary, disillusioned, and distant waif who believed in no one and nothing, other than her own ambition. Trust had been something nonexistent in her world. He found out that Tabi had clawed her way up and out of her past life with no one’s help. She had been like a chameleon, blending in, obtaining life’s necessities with nary a glance in her direction. The compliant child in school garnered no negative attention, and like a sponge, she absorbed everything with a focus akin to that of a competitive athlete. She earned scholarships by using academics to distract her from the horror of her home life and escaped to college, two years younger than other students. Tabi had no one and needed no one, and the misleading aura she projected kept others away even as they thought highly of her. It was the perfect disguise, and the position she had obtained in one of his companies attested to both her financial acumen and well-faked social skills. If Tabitha hadn’t had one family member that she had cared about and, thus, some understanding of reciprocal affection, she could have been labeled a sociopath, given her inability to relate to others other than on a very superficial level. Kyle had stripped her of both her clothes and her disguise and accepted the woman who had never dared to dream that anyone would want the being behind the mask yet who had sheltered a tiny flicker of hope. Her grandmother had been in her life at an early stage, and he believed it was that connection which sustained Tabi. He had warred with Tabi as she fought to protect herself out of terror and rage. Tabi’s hard-won control hid a desperate need, unknown even to her, to be dominated, controlled, and taken care of in order to reach her full potential before she totally evolved into a brilliant executive robot, devoid of all sexuality and joy. His Tabi-cat had revealed not only joy, but passion, love, and happiness as he took away her ability to resist and gave her what she needed, making her ask only when he knew she felt undeserving. He
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had not stopped until she had submitted to him, body and soul. She gave up her other life to stay with him and meet his needs as he met all of hers. It had been the most difficult and most rewarding training of his adult life as a Dom, and she, quite simply, was his, the submissive woman he had waited so long for.
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Chapter One One year earlier… Kyle Stone sat, idly swirling his drink as he waited for his accountant to return from the restroom. The morning had been productive. His financial situation was stable as ever, and the new projects, such as mortgage lending and entrepreneur support, were doing even better than expected. Gordon settled his bulk into the opposite chair and picked up the menu. Kyle smiled inwardly, knowing that the financial wizard had looked forward to the meal all morning. His attention was drawn to the entry into the restaurant of two women, both dressed in conservative business suits and pumps, carrying briefcase style purses. The blonde was curvy, and she bounced with suppressed enthusiasm as she walked, chatting vivaciously with the brunette at her side. The other woman moved with stately grace, her slender form gently outlined in her suit jacket and pencil skirt, her breasts high, stomach flat. Long, well-formed legs were moulded with dark stockings that he was sure whispered with each stride. Kyle’s cock stood at attention without so much as a warning. Holy shit, she was amazing. **** Tabitha Land felt someone watching, her hyper vigilance alerting her, although she gave absolutely no sign. She unobtrusively scanned the room, and her gaze lit on her boss, sitting at a center table in the
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restaurant Christy had asked her to try for lunch. She knew Kyle Stone’s reputation as a shrewd and wealthy businessman and had seen him move in and out of the building where she worked. She knew he had an office there and didn’t think he had ever seen her before. Until today. His green eyes kept their focus on her as she and Christy moved past his table, and she made herself nod respectfully. Christy abruptly stopped and made an about-face. “Mr. Stone,” she said. “Nice to see you again. Hi, Gordon!” Tabitha watched Mr. Stone search his memory of Christy’s face and come up with a name to attach to it. It was strange how she knew he was doing that, and it unsettled her. Her ability to read others effortlessly made her remember why she needed to develop that skill. But it made her feel like an anxious, nervous animal, different from people around her who seemed oblivious to danger. “Ms. Reynolds. Christy.” He then turned expectantly to her. Christy laughed. “You probably haven’t met Tabitha. Tabitha Land, our boss, Mr. Stone.” Kyle Stone stood and offered his hand, and Tabitha gave him a cool, brief press with her fingers. Kyle held her hand a fraction longer than necessary, and she felt something pass between them, something almost like an electric shock. It made her more nervous, and she risked a look at his face. He had felt it, too, judging by the way he looked at her. Tabitha murmured a pleasantry and tried to urge Christy on with a subtle movement, but was foiled by Gordon’s tardy scramble to his feet accompanied by a huge grin. “Hey, Christy! Join us,” he said, hauling out a chair, and Kyle emulated him. Christy plopped herself down, and Tabitha, anxiety rising behind her public face, took the chair her boss held for her. She kept up her side of the ensuing conversation, from ordering a meal, although her boss seemed to have taken that task on with little input from her, to
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acknowledging her position at his company and her enjoyment of her job. **** Kyle watched Tabitha as she picked at her food, an action that was really the only indication she was uncomfortable. Her manners were impeccable, her conversation light and interesting, her interaction appropriate. And Kyle learned next to nothing about her. His fascination with her began to grow as he observed this beautiful, controlled woman, and he was glad that his lap was hidden by the tablecloth, for his cock seemed to be reaching for her under the table. Kyle was a highly sexed man, but trained as he was in BDSM as a Dom, he had terrific control. Except for today. His libido was taking a front row seat in the presence of this woman. Kyle had played in the club, Unleashed, of which he was part owner, and had just finished training a new sub who had gone to auction, so perhaps he needed a new project. Unless she was the One. He idly wondered if Tabitha was a Tabi-cat out of the boardroom or if she was as controlled as she presented now. Kyle somehow thought no one had tapped Tabitha’s depths, his knowledge of women signalling to him. He began to formulate an action plan to find out.
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Chapter Two Tabitha held it together until she was released from the impromptu lunch date and back in her office. She then shut the door and meditated for a few minutes until she got her inner self back under control. Kyle Stone had gotten into her head, and it scared her shitless. She had felt something from him, something she had never felt before, and was worldly enough, if having had no actual personal experience with the feeling, to suspect that it was arousal, a sexual attraction. The man was extremely attractive with his dark chestnut hair and emerald-green eyes. He exuded power and not just because of his financial position. His shoulders were broad and his chest and arms muscled under his expensive suit. What the hell was she thinking? Why had he been so focused on her throughout the meal? Because he had been focused. She knew it as any prey recognized a predator. It was unfortunate because she liked this job, and the money was really good. Already she had been able to put a considerable amount away, topping up the savings from her previous position. But her safety was paramount, and she would be gone in a heartbeat if Kyle Stone cropped up in her life again outside of his role as a distant boss. **** Kyle scrutinized Tabitha’s personnel file. She was twenty-six, honors in business from a reputable, if small, college, no priors, good reference from a previous job. Her performance review revealed a focused, talented employee with an excellent work ethic. The
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employee application divulged her address, an apartment in a complex within walking distance of the office, cell phone, no landline, and nothing else. There was no family listed in case of emergency, no friends to take their place. Kyle had found her weakness. Tabitha was alone, whether by choice or design. She had her work and, well, her work. No personal information such as hobbies were noted other than reading and walking, both solitary ventures. He made some casual inquiries of the local employee gossip line and heard only that Tabitha Land was a hard worker, willing to stand in and help anyone out, but other than the odd envious remark about her work ability and her attractiveness, no one really knew anything about her. No one mentioned a boyfriend, although it was assumed that she had one by virtue of her looks alone. She didn’t seem to have a social life of any sort, and the lunch dates with other employees appeared to always be at their invitation. It was as if Tabitha conformed on occasion in order not to obviously stand out in the hierarchy of office politics and gossip. He was getting extremely interested in figuring this out. He sensed an aura of submissiveness behind Tabitha’s cool exterior. Kyle wondered again if Tabitha could be the One. If indeed she was alone, he could be the only one for her. If she wasn’t involved, even peripherally in a relationship, he could introduce her to the intense D/s bond. Kyle wanted a special woman for himself, someone who would focus herself on him and allow him to take care of her, totally, in all aspects of her life. He would ensure that another Dom would provide for her in the event that something happened to him, as it would be unlikely that she would be able to return to a former lifestyle. That would be the responsible thing to do. **** Tabitha received the call first thing the following morning, a summons to Mr. Stone’s office. She knew it had nothing to do with
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her work and scented the circling of the wolf. She composed herself and went. His secretary ushered her in right away, and she saw him, his back to her, staring out over the Tulsa city skyline through the huge glass windows in his office. He turned and went behind his imposing desk, motioning her to a chair on the other side. “Ms. Land,” he greeted her. “I won’t insult you by playing any games. I pride myself on my honesty and wouldn’t treat you any differently, employee or not.” Tabitha waited. He looked extremely handsome, and waves of strong intent rolled off of him. She wasn’t afraid, yet. Tabitha was extremely practised in reading people, as her survival had once depended upon it, and she knew that this man, while having an agenda that involved her, was presently not a physical danger. She wasn’t sure about how much of an emotional risk he presented, however. Her nervous inner animal crouched and waited. Kyle leaned back in his chair and spoke clearly and confidently. “I find myself extremely attracted to you, Ms. Land. That does not happen often for me. It is awkward that you are an employee, at least it would prove awkward for you within the office if it came out that you were involved with your boss, and those kinds of secrets are difficult to keep. I have a proposal for you.” Tabitha interjected, “I’m sorry, Mr. Stone. I am not looking for any involvement with you.” Kyle went on, acknowledging her statement with a nod, “I’m afraid I don’t take refusal easily, Tabitha, and I want you to hear me out.” Tabitha noted how he had dropped the formality and infused his tone with a hint of steel. Her senses went on high alert. This man drew her for some inexplicable reason, and that made him very dangerous. She found herself wanting to obey him, and that was so very scary. She shifted in her chair, ready to leave on any pretext. Kyle appeared to take note of her body language and quickly moved on. “I’m going to place you in another company I have
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interests in, although I am a silent partner there. It has need of someone with your skills and talents, so this offer is not entirely altruistic, Tabitha. We can then pursue a relationship.” Tabitha nearly laughed, surprising herself. He had such arrogance, such confidence. She wished she wasn’t tempted, but she was, and her body was speaking to her again. Her brain told her to run, immediately. “Thank you for your offer, uh, both of them,” she answered with an aloof smile. “But I like my present position, and unless it hinges on dating you, I prefer to stay here.” Kyle shook his head. “I thought I had made myself clear, Tabitha. I am not offering you a choice. You will be transferred at the end of the week, which should give you time to clear your schedule and move your files to other employees. And it’s time you called me Kyle.” She was speechless for what seemed an eternity. Words of outrage then rose to her lips but remained unspoken. She had trained herself better than that and knew he was more than a match for her. Kyle came around the desk and held his hand out to her. Somehow, her hand got placed in his, and he drew her up and close to him, never taking his eyes off of hers. He slanted his mouth down and stopped her breath. Tabitha had never, ever, felt anything like what passed between them. Her lips parted to allow his tongue to invade her mouth, tangling with her tongue, seeking knowledge. She felt his huge erection pressing into her stomach and noticed, as if from a distance, how her breasts suddenly felt too tender to be crushed to his chest. Her very core was changing, the labia uncomfortable against the crotch of her panties, and she felt wet and somehow achy. It was both unfamiliar and terribly unsettling. Kyle released her mouth and looked into her face. He stroked her cheek gently with one big hand and murmured, “I’ll be by to pick you up at eight tonight. Please wear a black dress and heels.”
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Chapter Three Tabitha found herself outside of his office door, the secretary looking at her in puzzlement. What the hell had just happened? She took herself back to her office and began to clear the coming days of appointments and look at which files needed immediate attention and those that could wait. Tabitha worked automatically, while the other side of her brain examined and considered what Mr. Stone’s interest inferred. She hadn’t reiterated her refusal because she somehow knew it would have been futile. One went along with authority until one could escape. So why wasn’t she planning her getaway? Why was she thinking about whether her black dress was in her closet or at the cleaners and if her black heels were high enough? Tabitha told herself that the new position would be a promotion and the pay would be commensurate. She had no ties here, and this was an opportunity she hadn’t expected. Her physical response to Mr. Stone was unusual, in fact unknown to her, and Tabitha collected knowledge like ammunition to aid her assimilation into society. There was still time to run. **** What Tabitha didn’t know was that Kyle’s relationships were primarily with subs who sought him out for training. His time for dating was thus limited. Still, while he noticed and appreciated women, the attraction he felt for Tabitha was different. He had noted her wariness, barely noticeable to others, but evident to his intense scrutiny. Kyle had planned to wait to begin his relationship with
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Tabitha, at least until she had been transferred, and build his anticipation. However, he now instinctively knew that she would find a way around things unless he had pressed his advantage by giving her a taste of what lay between them. The kiss in his office had been electric, and while strongly affecting him, he knew Tabitha had been left dazed and confused and, he believed, wanting more. God knew he wished he could have had her over his desk without any preliminaries. His driver took him to Tabitha’s place, and Kyle took a moment to center himself, gaining control over his libido. He felt like a teenager on a first date. Tabitha was ready when Kyle arrived at her door. He took that as a good sign, believing that she wanted to please him. Her expression was guarded, but he could see the pulse beating in the base of her throat like a tiny, fluttering bird. Kyle admired how the black dress fit Tabitha’s form, her breasts beautifully draped by the silky fabric and her trim waist and curved hips covered with just the right amount of snugness. She wore her black hair swept up, and her jewellery was simple. Small diamond studs were set in her ears, and a tiny white gold watch circled her wrist. A minimum of makeup enhanced her porcelain skin and iceblue eyes. He could detect a faint scent of cherries and Tabitha’s own fragrance. As before, she wore black stockings, but this time, her heels were higher than her office pumps and displayed her legs to full advantage. Kyle hoped she wore a garter belt or at least thigh-high stockings instead of pantyhose, but regardless, she was leaving those shoes on when he fucked her. Kyle handed Tabitha into the limo and directed his driver to a restaurant he favored. Tabitha remained silent during the drive, and he did not attempt to engage her in small talk, rather enjoying the lack of feminine prattle. When they arrived at their destination, Kyle helped her out and guided her inside with a hand on the small of her back. He could feel her tenseness and carefully increased the pressure. She visibly made herself relax.
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They were seated in an intimate booth beside Kyle and their order placed. Tabitha didn’t protest when he made the selections for her, although she seemed to bite back a comment or two. Kyle thought she might be processing his approach and hoped that was the case. As soon as the wine was poured, he leaned over and pressed his lips to her temple, placing his arm around her shoulders, stroking the side of neck, making her shiver. He continued petting her gently until she settled. Tabitha said, “I’d like to hear more about the job, please, Mr., I mean, Kyle.” Kyle was willing to be distracted, and they talked business throughout the meal. He was impressed by her intelligence but noted the lack of personal content in the conversation. She was skilled at drawing him out, again only on a superficial level. Kyle occasionally brushed his hand over her arm and pressed his thigh close to hers. Tabitha would tense then relax. He fought down his increasing arousal as he recognized her inexperience and, most probably, innocence. There was a reason that a beautiful woman had reached twenty-six years of age without any obvious experience in flirting or foreplay. Kyle had enough confidence in himself to believe he would be able to move her past whatever had kept her from expressing her sexuality and teach her how to submit, surrender to him, and come into her own. As the waiter brought their brandy, Kyle made his next move. “I want you to come back to my home, Tabitha.” Tabitha seemed to recognize that he wasn’t asking but telling her, and she looked at him her eyes assessing and her body language tense. Without giving her time to process too much, Kyle added, “I won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to, and you can go home anytime you like.” He thought Tabitha wanted to believe him, even trust his word, but he also knew that she was well aware that if he was that kind of
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man, he could do with her what he chose, and given his power and position, she would have no recourse against him. She shook her head. Kyle took her chin and tipped her face up. He kissed her, not plundering her as he had done that afternoon in his office, but with care and finesse. Her lips softened and bloomed, parting to breathe softly into his mouth. “I promise, Tabitha.” “All right.” Her answer was muted, almost resigned. Kyle’s dominance leapt at this additional sign of submission, and he firmly took himself under control, schooling his features against anything that might frighten her and cause her to change her mind. **** Tabitha used the restroom and then allowed Kyle to escort her to the limo. They rode in comparative silence to his home. It was set on a large acreage, with a long curving drive. She got an impression of an imposing brick structure, albeit with ivy softening the bulk of it. The driver opened the limo door, and Kyle helped her out, asking the driver in front of her to remain available that evening. Tabitha’s anxiety, building during the drive, diminished at his request. He really did intend to let her leave when she chose. Kyle led her into a large foyer, simply but beautifully decorated in warm, soothing colors and a large vase of cut flowers set on a tasteful antique table. They passed into the living room, and Kyle directed her down a hallway and into a large bedroom. Tabitha came to an abrupt halt just inside the door. Kyle’s arms circled her and pulled her back into him, his lips at her temple. “I don’t take a lot of time with preliminaries, Tabitha. I want you, and you want me.” Tabitha couldn’t make herself relax. She didn’t date, but surely people didn’t just go to bed right away. Even on television or in movies, mediums she rarely watched, people had a drink or talked in
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the living room or something before sex. Yet, she admired Kyle’s directness, impatient as she sometimes was with the wordplay so prevalent in everyday life. She had become expert at it out of necessity, but there were times, when closing a business deal, that she felt like screaming for someone to just come out with it and stop beating around the bush. Of course, no one would ever see her impatience. She let Kyle gently push her further into the room, coming to a stop near an enormous four-poster bed, lit dimly by bedside lighting. Kyle stood back, and his eyes swept her from head to toe, and she saw his eyes darken. Other men had looked at her in that way, and she was initially frightened, falling back into her past. Kyle reached out and ran his hands down her arms, and she was immediately grounded and back in the present. He came closer for another kiss, and her senses spun out of control. She felt his hands at the side zipper of her dress while he attacked and ate at her mouth, and then he was inching the fabric up until it reached her shoulders. He stepped back and carefully pulled it up and over her head, allowing it to rest briefly over her eyes, disorienting her. She stood before him in a simple set of white underwear, nothing frivolous or seductive, her nipples beginning to peak under his gaze, a new feeling for her and distracting. Tabitha knew Kyle could see her sex just evident behind the scrap of fabric, a few dark curls of her pubic hair escaping. The thigh-high stockings now seemed like sluttish clothing, and her shoulders began to hunch, and her toes turned in as she tried to hide herself. “Don’t.” Kyle laced the order with dark dominance. “Never hide yourself from me, Tabitha. You won’t like the consequences.” Tabitha was shocked by his statement and stepped back to feel the edge of the bed against her thighs. “That sounded like a threat,” she gasped.
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“Not at all,” Kyle purred. “I have already told you, I don’t take refusals easily, and you must know something about me, Tabitha. You read people well. What is your read on me?” Without hesitation, Tabitha said, “You like to be in charge and tell people what to do. And if they don’t do what you say you…” Tabitha stopped, wondering where those words had come from and yet knowing how accurate they were. “I what?” asked Kyle. “There are consequences,” she answered. “And do you see the fairness in that, Tabitha, the honesty?” he asked. She offered, “People don’t like to be told what to do. They don’t like to be held accountable and face consequences.” “Some people don’t like it, Tabitha. Others crave it, if it’s fair and meets their needs. And people learn from consequences.” He spoke so softly she had to strain to hear him. “What about you, Tabitha? Would it be a comfort for you to have someone take over just for once and ease the burden you carry? If that someone was fair and had your best interest at heart?” Tabitha heard an ugly sound and realized it came from her. It was a cross between a sob and a laugh. “I don’t trust anyone enough to let him or her take over,” she choked out. Kyle immediately gathered her close and cuddled her. “I hope to earn that trust, Tabitha, starting tonight. Now, should I call Thomas and have him take you home?” Tabitha didn’t know what she expected, but it was anything but that. She was nearly naked in this man’s bedroom, had shared something with him she had never told anyone before in her life, and he was giving her a choice. She resolutely stopped thinking and shook her head. “But I don’t know what happens next.”
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Something crossed Kyle’s face. Something that looked like satisfaction, and he smiled at her. Tabitha wondered if she had made the right decision. He looked so male, almost feral. “I do, Tabitha,” he said. “Now, stand straight, and face me, shoulders back, hands at your sides, feet apart.” Tabitha followed his orders and tried to stay in her body. She wanted to see this through, whatever it was. Kyle studied her and motioned for her to turn around. She complied and felt awkward as she felt his eyes on her, yet other than that satisfied look, she now couldn’t read him. She felt off balance, but not scared, and she wondered at that. “Turn around, and take off your bra, Tabitha.” She turned to face him then reached behind her and separated the hooks, allowing the bra to fall down her arms and to the floor. Kyle’s gaze stayed on her breasts, and she fought not to cover them. “The panties now, and leave your shoes and stockings on.” Tabitha pulled her panties down and carefully over her heels, leaving them beside her bra. “Feet shoulder width apart.” She complied and fought against the tingling and ache between her legs, feeling such moisture gather there. She was mortified, for it felt like her curse had arrived and was dampening her thighs. Tabitha reached, unthinking, between her legs. “Stop. You are not to touch yourself unless I tell you to.” Kyle’s tone was again dark and inflexible. “I didn’t mean to. What do you mean touch myself?” Tabitha blurted. Kyle’s face softened. “What was it you were going to do?” Her face flamed. “I felt some, some wet, I thought…” Her voice trailed off. Kyle placed both hands on either side of her face and passed his mouth across hers. “That moisture is the juice of your arousal.”
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Tabitha closed her eyes in humiliation. She was totally, absolutely stupid. God, she needed to run, get away from him, from herself. His hands were so gentle. She had a fleeting memory of her grandmother’s kind hands. She was twenty-six years old for Christ’s sake and as lost as a newborn babe. Kyle pushed the issue, “Do you touch yourself between your legs for pleasure, love?” he asked gently. Tabitha didn’t recognize herself. She was hugely embarrassed and yet sought to explain, to tell him the truth, hold nothing back. “No. Sometimes I wake and my hands are there, but…” **** Kyle was overwhelmed. Tabitha had come to him frigid in every sense, and he now had the marvellous opportunity to unlock her. That initial kiss, although impulsive, had totally been the right thing to do. He would come to find out what or who had made her so disconnected from her sexuality, but in the meantime, he was going to push her even more and introduce her to orgasm. She wasn’t leaving tonight no matter if she asked. He would distract her with pleasure. “Take your hair down, Tabitha.” Kyle watched, spellbound, as her black hair spilled over her shoulders. She looked absolutely beautiful. “Lie back on the bed, Tabitha, with your knees at the edge of the mattress, feet toward the floor.” Tabitha obeyed him. Kyle knew that his voice seduced her brain and that she was moving as in a trance, mindless and heavy limbed. The bed was high, and she had to take a little hop. Her breasts bounced, and Kyle drew a quick intake of breath as he saw them do so. Kyle wanted to touch those mounds and feast on her nipples, pinch and twist them, even clamp them, but he wanted even more to pull an orgasm from Tabitha then soothe her and have her drift into sleep. He would awaken her shortly thereafter, of course, for more instruction, but her sense of panic would be diminished, and she
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wouldn’t ask to leave. He found that he was desperate that she would not. Tabitha had bewitched him. Kyle pulled a small padded stool from under the bed and set it between Tabitha’s feet. He shrugged out of his shirt, toed his shoes off, but didn’t waste any time with the rest of his clothes. He knelt on the stool and used his shoulders to push Tabitha’s thighs apart. She struggled against him, and he held her against the mattress firmly by her hips. “Be still,” he told her. “I won’t hurt you.” He was pleased when she fell back and quit struggling, although her body was still tense. Normally, Kyle would have turned up the lighting so he could see Tabitha’s pussy in detail, but he had pushed her hard already. He stroked his hands over her thighs, paying particular attention to the white skin shining like a beacon above her stockings, gentling her, until the tiny shivers subsided. Then he cupped her mound, accustoming her to his touch, waiting patiently for her to assimilate it. As he carefully pulled her folds apart, Tabitha surged to a sitting position, looking at him with wide and terrified eyes. “Breathe, Tabitha. I promise I won’t hurt you.” She visibly worked at composing herself and swallowed hard. His cock jumped at the movement in her throat. He so wanted to shove himself into her mouth and to the back of her throat and have her swallow on him. But there was much work to do first, and good things came to those who waited. Tabitha lay back down, and he patted her abdomen before returning to spread her again. He could smell her arousal, but there was also a faint odor of fear, and part of him raged that this lovely woman would associate pleasure with fear. Erotic pain would become part of their relationship, but she would have no call to fear him. Kyle began to lick her inner folds, slowly and delicately, avoiding her opening and her clit. He lapped at her and suckled gently, learning her. Tabitha moved her hips and pressed into his mouth. Success.
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He then ran his tongue along her perineum, avoiding her anus, but giving her a little notice of intent, judging by sudden stiffening in her body. Kyle returned to her pussy, this time rimming her vaginal opening with his tongue and inserting the tip. Tabitha moaned, ever so quietly. Kyle increased his efforts, darting his tongue inside, then retreating, returning to push in further. Tabitha’s hips began to rock against him, and Kyle turned his attention to her clitoris, now beginning to poke from its protective hood. He was cautious and slow, sensitizing her to having the nub touched, and in very little time, Tabitha’s movements became more frantic. Kyle sucked her clit into his mouth and pressed hard. Tabitha bowed up off the bed, pushing her pussy hard against his face, reaching for his head with her hands, and screamed, her juices soaking his mouth. Instantly, Kyle was on the bed beside her, stroking from breast to belly, settling her, allowing her to come down, all the while aware of the pulsing of her cunt. It would be aching to be filled, but it wasn’t yet time. Better she yearn and wonder. He held her as she drifted into sleep. **** Tabitha woke to something touching the underside of her breast, barely there gossamer touches that made her shiver. She reached to push it away only to find she couldn’t move her hands and then realized her ankles were also restrained. She panicked and tried to scream, knowing it wouldn’t do any good, that her mother wouldn’t come to her. Kyle was at her mouth in a heartbeat, capturing her fear and then pressing tiny kisses over her face. He spoke quietly in her ear, his voice again deep and dominant, calming somehow. “Your hands and feet are tied to the bed, Tabitha, and I want to tell you why. Listen to me.” She stilled and forced herself to look at him. His green eyes locked on hers, and his will virtually made her relax and wait. He had
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turned all the lights on in the bedroom, and she felt exposed and totally open to his scrutiny. “Good girl,” he said. “I restrained you before you woke because I knew you would fight me if I tried while you were awake. I want to learn your body in minute detail, and you wouldn’t allow that either, so I took the choice away. I won’t hurt you, and I want you to remember how you felt earlier when I went down on you.” Tabitha replayed his words over and over in her head. He had promised not to hurt her, and he hadn’t, at least not yet. The velvet ties restraining her did not feel like hard, uncaring hands, painful hands. He already knew her well enough to assume that his first sexual touching of her had been a novel event and she would have protested anything further. Now, all she had to do was take what he gave, powerless to stop him, letting him decide. It was a relief somehow, and she gave in to the surreal experience, nodding her head. She saw Kyle’s look of satisfaction, and it warmed her to know that she had pleased him. That was such a foreign feeling, but she allowed herself to accept it. “I’m going to put a strap over your abdomen now, Tabitha, so you won’t have the need to struggle and try to squirm away from me. But first, I’ll slide this pillow under you.” Tabitha didn’t have a chance to answer before Kyle slid a wedgeshaped, firm pillow under her hips, raising her pelvis to an angle that left her pussy and bottom completely exposed to him, even more than it had been when he had brought her to orgasm. Tabitha knew she must have felt an orgasm, and while it had frightened her to lose control in that manner, the experience was indescribable, and she wanted it again. She dared to hope. The leather strap held her firmly in place against the pillow and wasn’t uncomfortable. Tabitha awaited what was to come. Kyle, now naked, reclined beside her on one elbow. She avoided looking at his penis. She well knew what a penis looked like, felt like, and tasted like. She hadn’t thought about Kyle’s penis, not really,
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until then, and her memory took over, and her breathing caused her chest to rise and fall rapidly. **** Kyle saw her go away in her head and recognized the anxiety. He ran his fingers across her breasts, whisper-soft, and circled the nipples. Tabitha’s breath changed in response, and her eyes cleared. “Stay with me, love,” Kyle breathed. He explored her body from her throat to her waist with his hands and mouth, avoiding her breasts. He found all her sweet spots, the ones on her shoulders and under the arch of her ribs, her responsive navel. Kyle returned to her breasts and palmed them, lifting and stroking, then rolling and pulling each nipple before sucking them into his mouth. He gave equal attention to both, and he could see Tabitha was holding back small sounds, biting her lip. “I want to hear you, Tabitha,” he commanded. “I want to hear all the sounds you make when I touch you. Your body tells me what you like but so will your mouth.” Tabitha obeyed him, and her little whimpers and mewling hardened his cock even more. He knew she was somehow worried about that part of him, but she would come around. He would see to it. Abandoning her nipples at last, watching them pucker even more in the cool air now that the heat from his mouth was gone, Kyle surged up and caught her mouth in another deep kiss. She opened immediately and responded to him, her tongue shyly duelling with his. Kyle checked her wrists to make sure she wasn’t chafing then slid down her body to kneel between her outspread legs. Tabitha tensed, and he petted her hips until she relaxed again. Kyle’s control was being severely tested, and he reveled in it. When he actually came to fuck her, it was going to be so incredible. But for now, he needed to break her, gentle her, have her again experience her sexuality. He began by rubbing the arches of her feet,
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using enough pressure to avoid tickling. He gently pulled each toe and pressed a kiss on each one. He admired the fine bones of her feet where they led up to her finely turned ankles. She was beautifully made and seemed to have no appreciation of that fact. Next, Kyle stroked her calves up from her ankles, long, firm strokes, then leaned to kiss the inside of each knee. Tabitha murmured and whimpered in appreciation as he worshipped every inch of her. He wanted to taste her again and couldn’t wait. Her inner thighs felt like velvet, and he lingered there, running his hands up and down, feeling her shiver and smelling her arousal. He parted her labia and examined her beautiful cunt, the lips swelling, engorged with blood. She was a dark crimson there, with a hint of pink, and her folds were slick with moisture. He pushed back the fleshy hood of her clit and teased the little nub, hearing Tabitha’s whimpers and mewls increase and get louder even as her body tried to fight the strap and rise to him. Kyle licked her from anus to clit, again and again, punctuating licks with brief forays of his stiffened tongue into her vagina. He avoided her clit but noted how it stiffened and poked out. Tabitha began to leak more and more moisture, bathing his mouth and causing her labia to glisten. She tasted of cherries with a bittersweet tang and he couldn’t get enough. Kyle pushed a finger up into her, gently at first then with more authority, seeking the roughened little spot high in her vagina. Tabitha cried out and writhed, and Kyle withdrew, adding another finger and pressing hard against the spot then circling it. He swirled his tongue up to her clit and moved rhythmically, and she moaned and whimpered, begging him in a choked voice. Still he tormented her, her vagina clamping harder on his fingers and her clit jumping against his tongue. When her voice began to break on her pleas, Kyle pinched her clit between his teeth. Tabitha came apart, screaming her release.
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Kyle moved to lie beside her, rubbing her wrists under the restraints, kissing her forehead, and stroking her belly as she brought her breathing under control. “Okay, love?” he asked. Tabitha moved her head from side to side on the pillow and then looked at him with tear-filled eyes. “That was…I don’t know what that was.” “That was pleasure, love, and I plan to bring you more shortly.” “No, no more, please,” she whimpered. “I can’t take it. Please, Kyle.” He loved the way she said his name. “You can take it, Tabitha. One more experience and I’ll let you rest.” Kyle returned to kneel between her legs, dipping his fingers in her juices and pulling the moisture down to lubricate her anus. She protested and struggled to avoid him. “Don’t, please don’t, Kyle,” she pleaded. “I’m not sure that is something that I want.” Kyle looked up at her and smiled. “It’s what I want, Tabitha, and something that you will want. I am simply deciding for you. You need to trust me.” Tabitha closed her eyes and nodded. Kyle appreciated her anxious fear, but he was determined to introduce her to anal play. After all, she would have to learn eventually, as he had a fascination with assholes, and hers was clearly virginal. He wouldn’t put his cock in her there until she was stretched and ready. In the long run, it was in her best interest. He focused on using her own moisture to grease the puckered hole, and Tabitha shuddered at his gentle, pervasive movements. Kyle pushed against her, and she gasped as his fingertip penetrated her to the first knuckle. Kyle rotated his finger and reached his other hand to her clit, touching it with light motions. It served to distract her, and he added another finger to the first, pushing them both as deep as they would go. She was so tight, and he could barely turn them, but he kept at it, and her muscles softened around him.
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Kyle then scissored his fingers, stretching her, while making his strokes on her clit harder and faster. He pushed his thumb into her vagina, and Tabitha yelped. As he hoped, her body began to respond to the myriad of sensations, and he felt another climax begin to build for her. As her vagina started to clamp on his thumb, he ordered her to come, and she did, once again crying out her release. She was so responsive. Kyle pulled his fingers out of her ass and kissed her mound, then went to the bathroom. He washed up and then returned with a warm cloth to clean her. The only sound in the room was the quieting of Tabitha’s breathing. Kyle released the restraints, turned off the lights, and got into bed with Tabitha, pulling up the duvet to shroud them both. He pulled her into his body, spooning with her on the bed, his stiff cock fitting into the crevice of her buttocks. It felt both arousing and comforting. He waited for her to say something, but she remained silent. He thought he might relent and send her home as soon as she was rested a bit, to give her the opportunity to reflect on the night’s events and the pleasure she had experienced. However, he wasn’t sure he wanted to let go of her yet. It wasn’t yet one o’clock, and he considered teaching her how to blow him and then discarded the idea. He would wait until she offered to please him. He knew that she would do so. **** Tabitha stared unseeingly into the dark. The bedside clock didn’t register for her. Her clever brain was sifting through all that had transpired with Kyle, at his hands and, to be honest, his mouth. Even when he breached her anus, he really hadn’t hurt her. The little bite of discomfort had morphed into a strange sense of pleasure, and while she had never been penetrated there, she thought she liked it. Which of course fit with her mother’s belief that she was a temptress and a whore. Her mother’s voice was not so loud and strident though, and it
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seemed easier to push it away. Kyle had made her feel something beyond her control, had essentially forced her to, but she thought she was glad of it. Maybe she deserved a bit of feeling good. She had no experience with this kind of thing, this pleasure, and didn’t know if it was something she could take advantage of. Kyle had taken control, and she thought it might be okay. She was a little worried that she wouldn’t be able to pay him back. She knew one thing to do and how, but it had been a sickening experience, and the other thing hurt and she didn’t like it either. Tabitha was also worried Kyle might not just want payback. She worried that he might even want her soul, and she didn’t think she had one of those. Tired, overwhelmed, but feeling curiously safe with the warm bulk of Kyle lying tight behind her, she fell asleep. **** Tabitha opened her eyes and was out of bed in the next heartbeat. Where the hell was she, and why was she nearly naked? Her breathing slowed, and her stomach returned to its rightful place when she realized she had been in her boss’s bed. Kyle had obviously woken before her, and strangely, she felt both relief and chagrin that he hadn’t touched her again or woken her for more instruction. Near hysterical laughter burbled up, and she choked on it. She didn’t laugh and rarely smiled, and there really was nothing funny about this situation. Shower sounds emulated from the master bath, and she took a step toward it, and then forced herself to back up. She looked around and saw her clothing laid neatly across a chaise lounge near the bed. She quickly dressed, although her stockings were in sad repair, so she stripped them off and tucked them into her purse. Forcing her hair into an untidy bun at the back of her neck, Tabitha searched for her compact and lipstick. She was going to have to wash her face clear of the tracks of mascara so set out to find another bathroom.
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Kyle appeared in the doorway of the guest bathroom after Tabitha had used the facilities and washed. He wore a silk robe and was towelling his hair. He had yet to shave and looked for all the world like those hunky men Tabitha saw on the front of those romance novels some of the women in the office read. His green eyes were speculative and intent. “I’ve asked Thomas to drive you back to your apartment right away, so you’ll have time to get ready for work,” he told her. Tabitha’s heart sank to her shoes. She actually felt it. Last night was something out of this world for her, and now he was dismissing her. She guessed the “relationship” was over as she’d been found wanting. Small wonder. She straightened her shoulders and nodded to him, trying to move past his bulk. “Good. I am never late.” Kyle spun her by the waist and pulled her right up against him. He kissed her breathless and touched her cheek. “You sound so formal for someone who has been known as intimately as I knew you, love.” Tabitha struggled not to blush and contented herself with just looking at him. She worked hard at not letting him see any reaction from her. “I love that you say nothing unless you really have something to say, Tabitha, although I expect there are times when you would like to say it and think better of it. I am going to have to teach you how to ask for what you want and punish you when you don’t think enough of yourself to ask for what you deserve. Come, love, Thomas is waiting, and I will take you back to bed if you don’t leave now.” Kyle escorted her to the door and handed her off to Thomas. “Thomas will pick you up from work. Be on time.” Tabitha stared as Kyle shut the door. Mr. Control. Mr. Boss. She thought she’d like to slap him and was astonished at her temerity. But then she had no life outside of work and really couldn’t complain about being wined and dined and, well, pleasured. But there was that word, punishment, again. She was sure she didn’t like the sound of that.
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Chapter Four Tabitha knelt before Kyle in the bedroom on a cushion he had placed for her. She was nude, although wearing a pair of red stilettos he had purchased for her. He must have checked her size the previous evening. Thomas had picked her up from work, to the speculative stares of other office staff. Kyle had been right in his assessment of office politics, but she had only one more day there and then would start her new job. Kyle had met her at the door, again wearing his silk robe and obviously freshly showered. He had taken her to the master bath and told her to shower. When she emerged, her clothes were gone, and she went in search of him wearing only the bath sheet. Kyle was in the gourmet kitchen, and all manner of seafood and vegetables were laid out on the island. He had settled her on a stool then tugged the bath sheet to allow it to drop down, leaving her naked before him. It was warm in the house, so there was no excuse for her nipples to tighten and pucker, a fact that was not lost on Kyle, who tapped each one gently with a forefinger. He had fixed a plate for her and often fed her choice morsels from his own. There was a light sparkling wine, but he only half filled her glass. Tabitha felt cherished somehow, taken care of, and while it felt a bit unsettling, she thought she liked this new experience, too. They talked about work and the world markets, and she found herself smiling with him. After eating, Kyle led her back to the master bath and lifted her to sit on the vanity. The granite was cool against her bottom and thighs, and she watched him curiously as he gathered a
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few things from the drawer. Sated from the food and nurture, Tabitha didn’t protest Kyle’s next moves, although she thought she should. He pushed her thighs apart and then lathered her pubic curls, flickering a finger over her clit as he did so. Tabitha felt the now familiar moisture in her vagina and leaned back to give him better access. She watched as he carefully shaved her and checked for any stray hairs that he might have missed. Kyle then patted her with hot washcloths, followed by a lotion that soothed her skin. “You will be more sensitive to my touch without hair, love,” Kyle told her, “And I want to be able to spread your pussy and look at you bare.” Tabitha felt a bit strange to be so naked on her mound, but there was also a flare of excitement. She didn’t get excited unless something good was coming down at work, but she knew the feeling was like that. **** Kyle moved Tabitha off the vanity and took her to the big bed. He sat her on the edge and then knelt to put the heels on her. “On your hands and knees, Tabitha, facing the headboard,” he told her, and she complied with barely any hesitation. Kyle smiled to himself. He had created a monster, or so he hoped. He moved to take a place behind her, stroking the curve of her back, running his palms over her buttocks, squeezing the round mounds. He nipped her then kissed the sting away, and she started to push back toward him. The red shoes gave her a wanton look. He slid beneath her, pressing her thighs apart with his shoulders between her knees as he brought his mouth up to her now dripping cunt. By gripping her tightly at the waist, he held her to him for another intimate feasting, her breasts swinging and swaying, brushing the top of his head. Kyle fucked her with his tongue and lapped her now even more sensitive folds until he could have drowned in her juices. He
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sucked her clit into his mouth hard, and she flailed above him. Just another position Tabitha could repeat for him. “Kyle?” she quietly said after he had moved her to her side to face him. He kissed her and knew she could taste herself on him. She didn’t pull away. “Yes, Tabitha?” he answered. “I was thinking that you haven’t, well, you haven’t had any pleasure,” she offered. Kyle’s heart jumped. “I get pleasure from giving you pleasure, love,” he responded, lazily circling a nipple. Tabitha pulled back. “I meant you having an orgasm, too,” she said, almost huffily. “And will you give me one, Tabitha?” Kyle asked. “Yes,” she said with great resolve, “but I’m not good at it.” Kyle nearly laughed. She was so earnest, acting all fair. He pulled her from the bed and picked a cushion from the chaise. He placed it in front of him and looked at her expectantly. Tabitha sank down on it, and he gathered her hair on top of her head, securing it with a band. “I want to see you suck me, Tabitha. Open your mouth wide, and keep your hands at your sides,” Kyle ordered. “I’m going to put the head of my cock on your lips, and you are to run your tongue over it until I tell you to stop.” **** Tabitha did as he asked and was relieved to be able to breathe and not choke, tasting Kyle’s cock, licking the bead of moisture off of the slit at the top. He tasted salty and a bit tart all at the same time. His cock was really big, but she wasn’t ten or even fourteen years old anymore. She was a grown woman. She knew that she was getting him wet, and he seemed to like what she was doing to him. “I’m going to push into your mouth more now, love,” came Kyle’s voice, sounding strained. She looked up at him as he pushed
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deeper and saw that his features were starker, more etched than before and that his eyes had darkened to emerald. Kyle wove his hands through her hair, loosening it from its restraint, and began to guide her mouth over his cock in a seesaw motion. “Close your mouth over my cock and suck it,” he grated, “and use your tongue.” Tabitha followed his instructions and found herself matching a rhythm of some kind, feeling somehow powerful. She paid close attention to what she was doing and how Kyle was responding. She would probably have to do this again. She wanted to. “I’m going to fuck your mouth now, and you’ll feel me at the back of your throat. Breathe through your nose and relax your throat. You’ll be fine.” Kyle sounded as though he could barely get the words out, but she was obviously pleasing him, and she appreciated his attempt not to scare her. Tabitha did as he asked but for a moment regressed and panicked. She clung to his reassurance and met his now hard, frantic pace. “Swallow,” Kyle insisted. “Swallow now.” Tabitha choked on the spurts of semen at first, but Kyle’s very taste kept her grounded, and she managed to swallow most of him down. His warm, sultry gaze and stroking of her hair rewarded her, and she smiled back at him, licking the remnants of his cum from her lips. He tasted salty but clean, somehow, and she hadn’t minded it. **** Kyle felt rejuvenated and ready to go again at that smile. He was going to fuck Tabitha tonight, and depending upon how sore she got, maybe more than once. He sensed that she was beginning to trust him and willing to try more things with him. Taking her to the playroom would be pushing it, but he planned to show it to her in the near future
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and explain his darker needs. He believed by then Tabitha would be willing to explore her own. They leaned against one another on the couch in the den, listening to jazz and blues while sipping brandy. Tabitha had no real preference in music but said she enjoyed hearing his choice. Kyle was wearing his silk robe again, but Tabitha wasn’t allowed to cover herself. She acknowledged his contention that she needed confidence and needed to become comfortable in her own skin. Being naked with him would hopefully become liberating and reassuring. The house was warm, and his body heat would contribute to her comfort. Kyle told her a little about his childhood, about how his parents had both died in a car crash in Europe and that he had taken over the company at the young age of twenty-four, fresh from graduate school. He talked about his sister, who was nearly ten years older than he, and his grown nephew and niece. They all lived on the East Coast, and he rarely saw them. He explained that he was extremely self-sufficient but that he had solid, good friends by virtue of his own strong sense of loyalty. “I will introduce you to both my sister and her children and, of course, to my friends, Tabitha.” When Tabitha tensed, he understood that she was probably anxious about how quickly things were moving, and he added, “But all in good time, love. I won’t rush you.” He told her he had never married and had no children. He told her she would soon tour his home and he would share its history with her. Kyle pressed her tightly to him and wondered if she felt his arousal when he spoke of the tour and if it puzzled her, but she said nothing. He made a mental note to delete the video he would make of Tabitha’s debut in the playroom. The camera was wired to automatically turn on when the lights did, but he doubted that there would be any need for him to watch it. He knew what Tabitha needed, and there was no way he would allow her to be used as a training video. Those days were past. He already believed she was his One. Soon, he would explain that concept to her.
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**** Tabitha knew it would soon be time for her to share, quid pro quo, and she wondered how much she could avoid divulging. This man seemed to have climbed back inside her head, and while part of her quailed in terror, another part craved him. She so wanted to trust someone implicitly, to be able to share anything and everything. She wanted a friend as much as a lover. “Tell me about yourself, Tabitha,” Kyle requested. “I know the basics from your personnel file, but please share the things you don’t usually.” Tabitha struggled to take normal breaths and not display anything out of the ordinary. Kyle reached around her to take her breast in his hand, stroking and kneading it, circling the nipple with a fingertip. He hadn’t touched her sexually at all since she had performed fellatio, and this felt strangely like encouragement. She summed up her childhood in a few sentences. “I was born in Tulsa. I don’t have any siblings, and my father left when I was young. My mother never told me why. I have early memories of my grandmother, my mother’s mom. She actually left me her estate and her home. It’s been held in trust for me until recently.” She didn’t tell Kyle that she had found out about the windfall by accident when she was nearly sixteen, soon to graduate high school, after her stepbrother had moved out and her stepfather was drinking too much to have the energy to look for her if she was careful in the house. She had been hiding in the box room, prepared to explain that she needed the quiet to do a project for school if he found her or her mother did, when she tipped over a plastic container of papers. She had hastily gathered them up so her mother wouldn’t have another reason to go off on her, and her eye was caught by her own name in bold print. Carefully perusing the documents, Tabitha ascertained that
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her grandmother had passed away the year before and not when her mother had said she’d died. She knew intuitively just when her mother realized the estate was deemed to be held in trust for Tabitha. That was when her stepfather got totally lost in a bottle and his son moved back with his mother. There was nothing left for either of them without the promise of the money, and their little fuck toy was no longer a novelty by then. Her mother’s rages against her escalated that last year but were held in check by the lack of backup from her drunken husband and the increasing interest of both school and welfare authorities. Tabitha had secreted those documents and then taken them to a classmate whose father was a lawyer. Tabitha had been highly intelligent even then and knew when she lacked necessary information or knowledge. She never hesitated to use others to make gains, although they rarely realized it, for she wasn’t cruel and didn’t gloat. Lindsay’s dad had been kind enough to send a brief written explanation back to her, and the promise of freedom, the light at the end of the tunnel, inspired Tabitha to no end. She would be out of her mother’s house in a few short months, away at a college that accepted her on her marks and scholarships, not realizing that her date of birth had been carefully doctored or that parental permission had been forged. Such was her desperation that she told her mother nothing. She simply packed up her few belongings one day when the woman was out and took a bus to the college where she was provided initial shelter in a dorm room. Tabitha had managed the first two years of college on scholarships and waiting tables, sharing a cramped apartment with three other financially desperate young women. At age eighteen, she was able to borrow against her inheritance and finish the final three years of her business degree in relative, if marginal security. She focused fiercely on her studies and graduated second in her class. There had been no time for a social life, although she had absorbed some of lifestyles through the stories overheard in the restaurant and
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from her roommates. She became more adept at pretending to fit in, act normally. She had visited Grannie’s home only once but found it in reasonable repair despite being empty, the high, wrought iron fence and location close to a police station keeping the squatters and kids out. Someone had put lamps on timers with those new, long-lasting bulbs, causing the place to look less abandoned. She found out later, when she presented herself to him, that the estate lawyer had made those arrangements to protect her inheritance should she ever come forward before the wait period was up. The front yard was primarily pavers and not yet overgrown, although the back was a hopeless jungle but invisible from the street. The electricity had been paid, hence the working timers, and the trust provided for continuing the utilities and the taxes, but Tabitha didn’t want to waste the money and had the power cut off as well as the gas. The taxes bit into the reserve deeply enough. Tabitha hired a maintenance company to ensure the house was secure, making certain the battery powered security lights she had arranged to be installed were working and doing weekly checks. The trust more than paid for the service, and the lawyer agreed that she was within her rights to make new arrangements, although he cautioned her about costly repairs if a building was left to sit too long without heat and care. Tabitha had no intention of living in that home. It wouldn’t comfort her and would hurt too much. Once she was twenty-five, she could sell it. In fact, shortly after that birthday, the bank had forwarded the name of a real estate agent desperate to make her acquaintance. Tabitha had called Karen Shust and determined there was a buyer asking about the property. She had procrastinated, unusually for her, despite thinking things through carefully, and decided to wait. She was financially stable, and now that the opportunity had come, Tabitha didn’t want to let go. Karen had asked her to call her first should she change her mind.
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Kyle moved his attention to her other breast, and Tabitha snapped back to the present. He didn’t comment on her reverie, and she hastened to add that she had gone to college at an early age and, upon graduating, had little difficulty finding a job, first with a large brokerage firm, then accepting the one in his business two years earlier. Kyle then pulled her onto his lap, leaning her back across one arm so that he could lower his mouth to her breasts. He lapped and suckled her, nipping at the tender undersides of each breast then gently biting each nipple. Tabitha’s head fell back as she enjoyed the sensations. “Tell me about your grandmother, Tabitha.” Eyes closed, unaware that her face brightened and her lips softened, Tabitha shared her memories of Grannie. “I stayed with my grandmother several times when I was little, before my dad left and my mom had to keep me with her in order to foil the welfare detectives. Grannie was kind to me, so loving and warm.” Tabitha refrained from telling Kyle that she kept those memories tucked away deep, deep inside, immune to everything else that transpired afterward. They were her touchstone. “My mother and Grannie didn’t get along, and I vaguely recall them arguing over money with Grannie telling my mother to buck up and get a job. I know that I often asked to be allowed to go see Grannie, even if my mother refused and smacked me for asking.” When she came to her mother’s refusal to let her visit, Tabitha tensed, and Kyle shushed and rocked her, stroking her cheek. She looked up into his eyes and felt compelled to tell him. Tabitha forced the words out, going on to tell him how she had found out when her grandmother really died. Her eyes filled with tears, and she allowed herself to remember and grieve a little. “I think I was around nine when my mother screeched at me that my grandmother was dead. But I found some papers when I was
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fourteen that said she had died recently. I was overcome with sadness and loss all over again, but this time I also felt a dark rage. All those years that I could have visited my grandmother! We could have loved one another.” Kyle pushed her thighs apart and stroked them inside, moving to touch her labia. It felt comforting, and when he slipped a finger between her folds, Tabitha felt her moisture begin to flow and facilitate entrance into her vagina. He then asked about her relationship with her mother. Tabitha tried to move from his caress at that point, and Kyle gathered her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He easily overcame her halfhearted struggles and tied her, spread-eagle, to the bed, leaving only one light to burn against the dark. “I’m sure you’ve heard that confession is good for the soul, love,” he murmured into her anxious face, “and you are going to confess many things to me tonight.” “Why?” she pleaded. “Because your history is holding you back, Tabitha,” Kyle answered, “and because I will it.” She lay there silently, processing his words. She wanted to tell him but was so ashamed, so humiliated and afraid of his reaction. It was too big a risk. She couldn’t trust him with everything. It was too much. **** Kyle watched her as she clearly thought things through and rejected his demand. He sighed but secretly was looking forward to his task. If any of the bad things he suspected had happened to her, he was going to force her to share via arousal and pleasure and replace those terrible memories with new, wonderful ones. Kyle began by arousing Tabitha to near climax, only to withdraw his ministrations and watch her fall away in frustration. He repeatedly
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lapped at her pussy, sucking up her juices, thrusting his tongue into her opening and nibbling at her clit. She would arch against him desperately, begging with incoherent pleas he found hard to resist. But resist he did. Kyle pressed two fingers deep into her and suckled her breasts, taking as much as he could into his mouth each time. Turning his attention to her nipples, he bit them in turn and felt Tabitha’s aroused reaction to the slight pain. He began to finger fuck her and continue to torment her tight nipples, but avoided her clit. “Tell me more about your mother.” Tabitha began to pant. She choked the words out. “She hated me. She never wanted me except for the welfare check after my father left us.” Kyle pinched her clit on either side, hard, and Tabitha fell apart. He held her, murmuring encouragement, and into the silence, she told him in a broken voice of how sad and lonely her early childhood was after Grannie, how she was never good enough for her mother, could never please her. And then her mother met him. Tabitha couldn’t go on, and Kyle didn’t push her. Instead, he turned on another lamp so she could see him clearly. He eased himself over her and fitted his cock to her entrance. She was exhausted, that he knew. But he needed to fuck her, and she needed to be loved, not raped, for he was certain that was what had happened to her. That was what she was not yet ready to share. Even restrained, Tabitha didn’t resist him, and he counted that as a good sign. She also appeared to be present. He wouldn’t fuck a woman who had emotionally retreated. Kyle always used condoms. He found he didn’t want to with Tabitha but couldn’t risk pregnancy. Still, he regretted the fact that there would be a barrier between them. She would need to use birth control in the near future so that he could forgo the latex shield between them. Tabitha was wet and relaxed, and he slid his cock into her like she was made for him. He surged against her, retreated, and surged again. She was so tight, and he found he could only advance
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one slow inch at a time. When he was seated as far into her body as he could get, Kyle rested his forehead on hers, and she met his eyes. There was still a hint of wariness, but no real fear, no pain, and Kyle began to pump in and out of her. Her body heated around him, and her hips started to match his rhythm as moans and whimpers fell from her mouth, punctuated by gasping breaths. Kyle forced back his release, fucking his woman with a single intent. He ground at her Gspot and rejoiced in her reaction, slipping a hand between them to unerringly seek out her clit. He rubbed it in time to his lunges, and Tabitha strained against him, the muscles in her vagina clinging to him, clamping as if to never let him go. She called out his name and shuddered, and he, too, came, slumping over her and filling the condom with his seed. Kyle forced himself up to release Tabitha’s binds, and she wrapped herself around him, her mouth rocking against his neck. He felt the hot scald of tears and was concerned but for a moment. Tabitha had let go of some ghosts.
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Chapter Five Tabitha’s world became one of work and Kyle. She did not give up her apartment, although the landlord understood that when the lease ran out in two months, she would not be renewing it. Kyle allowed her this, understanding that she still required an escape route, a safety net, for she had much yet to reveal and was afraid. At first, Tabitha compartmentalized her life as she had always done. She focused at work and pulled the company out of its slump. Then she went home to Kyle and forgot about work, surrendering more of herself to him. She shared details of some of the physical and sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather and his son. She related the memories in a flat tone, however, the lack of affect telling in itself. One night, after they had been together just over three months, Kyle gave her the tour of the house he had promised. Tabitha was familiar with the house and respected the locked office and basement. She assumed Kyle’s office was his sanctuary, and she actually was no longer interested in work. She traveled with him, hosted his friends, and cooked for them on occasion. She read copiously, and they never lacked for conversation, and when they weren’t simply spending time together, they were having sex. Kyle keyed in the code of the metal door at the bottom of the stairs. He was wearing tight leather pants, something she had never seen him wear before. Tabitha was wearing a robe and slippers. He told her it might be a bit chilly for her. He turned the lights on and escorted her into the large room. Tabitha was astonished to see what
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she thought might be a torture chamber and froze, her eyes going to Kyle’s in silent question. “This is my playroom, Tabitha,” he explained. “I think you are ready for me to explain it to you.” He took her elbow and led her around, stopping by a large cross with restraints at either end of the X. He explained how a person would be held in such a position to allow any kind of touching to take place without them having to make a choice, amongst other things. Kyle showed her the restraints in the ceiling and the matching ones attached to the floor. He indicated that a person would be stretched in this position and quite sensitive to a variety of opportunities. He took her to a case that held all manner of sex toys, some she recognized, some that she didn’t. Kyle had her feel the texture of a soft leather flogger and feel the heft of a wooden paddle. He showed her how beautiful pieces of jewellery would clamp her nipples and her clitoris, promising that they would increase her pleasure twofold. Tabitha’s breath quickened, and she wanted to ask him if she could try both. He seemed to read her mind. “All in good time, my love. Your pleasure is mine to give, and I will know when you are ready to experience them.” Finally, he led her to another structure. “This is a spanking bench or a whipping chair, Tabitha,” he said, “and you will be restrained upon it tonight.” Tabitha fought both fear and arousal. She didn’t believe he would hurt her but didn’t understand the concept. She thought the paddles and floggers were for punishment, for pain. “I don’t need to be spanked, Kyle,” she managed, “why would you want to hit me?” Kyle pulled her to him, holding her close. “Tabi-cat, it’s not about hitting you. It’s about bringing you to a place where you can let go of all those painful memories, without censure. You hold memories that will own you until you face them and not attribute how they make you feel to someone else. And then you can trust me with your pleasure.”
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Tabitha pushed at his chest and leaned back and stared into his eyes. She saw nothing but compassion and understanding there, and a hint of arousal. She had a sudden thought. “You do this with women, Kyle, don’t you?” Kyle nodded his head, never relinquishing his hold on her. “I discipline women, Tabitha. I punish women. I train women, or I did, until I met you. Many people crave real punishment, but I only offer erotic pain, and that makes the pleasure so much better. There is a very fine line between them, and I will help you walk that.” She shook her head. “I’m confused.” “I’ll give you books to read on the lifestyle, love. I’m a Dom, and I part own a BDSM club. I am dominant, and my women are submissive. You are my first relationship, but I can’t be anything other than what I am.” Kyle held her head to his chest and kissed her hair. “Tabi-cat, I want you to trust me. You need to let go of the past, and I can help you with this. You are wrestling with shame and guilt, and neither is yours to own. Tonight, you are going to find that fact to be true. You will surrender, and in your submission, you will come into your own. I promise you. I will take care of you.” Kyle led her to the bench and slipped her robe off of her shoulders, untying the belt and letting it fall to the floor. Tabitha shivered before him, her nipples tightening. She again looked searchingly into his eyes and submitted. Kyle’s eyes reflected his elation, and her heart soared, knowing that she had pleased him. “You will position yourself on the bench by yourself in the future, Tabitha,” he murmured as he helped her to lie over it and then secured her wrists and then her ankles. Tabitha could feel her heart clamoring against her ribs but was also becoming aroused at what Kyle must see with her legs spread wide and her buttocks raised high. She had heard him mention the future and wondered at that.
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She felt Kyle behind her, spreading her buttocks and applying something warm and wet to her anus. She shuddered in anticipation. The anal play had become something she liked, for it added to her orgasms, making them last longer, sometimes sparking them. Kyle had told her he would fuck her there when she was ready, and while the thought of his large penis going inside of such a small opening made her anxious, she believed him when he promised it would fit and feel very good for them both. A hard object, probably a plug, although bigger than the ones he had used on her thus far, pressed past the tight muscle at her bottom opening, and Tabitha pushed back against it as much as she was able to do. It went in, and Kyle twisted it until it was fully inserted. Tabitha tried to relax. “I’m going to spank you now, Tabitha,” said Kyle in a deep voice she hardly recognized. “I know your limits and know what you need, love, but if it gets too much, you must have a safe word. Do you understand? Choose your safe word.” “Yes, I understand,” she somehow spoke through stiff lips. “Benjamin.” Grannie had a beautiful dog named Benjamin, a golden retriever, old but so loving. The first blow was not from Kyle’s hand as she had expected but from a flogger, and it stung. The plug shifted inside her, adding to the sensation. Her eyes filled with tears, mostly from the shock. She endured the next several blows as Kyle paused to stroke her buttocks in between each one. The heat and sting morphed into her sex, and she felt her vagina clench and lubricate, her juices coating her widespread thighs. Everything flowed together as Kyle began to strike her elsewhere, across her back and her buttocks and her thighs. Tabitha was weeping uncontrollably, feeling as though the residual poison in her soul was pouring out of her, freeing her. Kyle, sweating with arousal, stroked her hair away from her face. He seemed to know that her pain changed into pleasure and wanted to finish it. Kyle pushed two fingers up into Tabitha’s vagina, thrusting
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hard, and she clamped on him. She could feel the plug in her anus as he twisted it with his other hand. Tabitha moaned and clenched again. He whispered encouragement to her, and she sobbed in release. He quickly unfastened the restraints and pulled her up into his arms, carrying her to a bed set back in the corner. Placing her on her belly, he pulled the plug from her and immediately worked his cock into her open anus. Tabitha pushed back on him, and he popped through to surge deep. She moaned loudly and begged him. Kyle pulled out and slammed back inside, over and over. It burned. It felt incredible. She craved more. Kyle kept thrusting, his sac slapping against her pussy. “Touch yourself, Tabi-cat, touch yourself,” he ordered. Tabitha reached down and strummed her clit. “Come for me, now!” Kyle ordered. Her climax hit suddenly, and she screamed against it, clamping down on Kyle. Kyle ejaculated in streams of heat, and still she could feel him held tightly within her. Finally, he slid free and fell beside her, wrapping her up in his arms, kissing the back of her neck. “You are mine, Tabi-cat,” he stated. “Mine.” Tabitha heard him and believed him and felt sleep take her. Kyle let her sleep for a long time before urging her up and drawing a tub for her to soak. She was sore but in a good way. **** Kyle instructed her to resign her position, and she complied. In truth, she was no longer needed there. The company was back up and running, making money, and Kyle wanted her available at any time, whether it be for pleasure or company. Tabitha felt wanted and needed, cared for and even loved, although she never said the word aloud. Because Kyle did not. He told her how much he desired her and showed her how much. He took exceptional care of her, ensuring
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all of her needs were met. Tabitha found such a relief in having the burden lifted from her shoulders. She had no cause to question him, for he always had her best interests at heart. The physical pleasure was incredible, and she was probably as grateful to him for releasing her from her sexual prison as she was for his care. She thought she was actually putting her trust in another. That unsettled her, but she carefully examined it and inched forward, slightly wary as that prize surely came at a very high price. Kyle took her to the playroom once a week, and she came to look forward to that night, counting the days. Once, she thought he was going to invite the guests they had over for dinner that evening to the playroom, but he did not, and she was so grateful for his insight. This was their time, and she found it brought them closer together than anything else. If he included others, let them see what she and Kyle had together, it would betray her. Kyle seemed to understand that. Kyle restrained her, although she willingly placed herself in whatever apparatus he chose for the evening. He flogged her and fucked her with huge dildos or attached a vibrator to her clitoris. She would scream her release, twisting against the erotic bite of the lash or the sting of the paddle, becoming someone else, someone free from the past. Kyle would then take her anally. It became their ritual, although sometimes he would leave the dildo or vibrator inside her vagina, and the extra fullness and stimulation took his control as well as her own that much quicker. Over that year, Tabitha educated herself on the BDSM lifestyle and came to appreciate how her submission to this dominant man essentially recreated her. While they weren’t living the lifestyle in the purist form, she gave up the burden of control and in turn gave Kyle everything that he ever dreamed of, or so he assured her. While he still did not tell her he loved her, he insisted she was his and placed a beautiful diamond choker around her neck. She never took it off, for it was secured with a tiny padlock and only Kyle had the key. Tabitha believed that she loved Kyle, if the depth of her feelings for him was in any way referenced to the hazy memories of her Grannie. More
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than that, she totally trusted him, with her pleasure and with her life. On the very few occasions that he felt she required discipline, Tabitha welcomed it, for it reflected his honesty and sense of fairness. Kyle disciplined her if she spoke with self-deprecation, or if she challenged or negated his praise of her, and it only served to enhance her self-esteem and confidence. She had come to totally trust him. He had wanted her to find a hobby, something that would enrich her life further, and Tabitha had, without any real reason, decided to try her hand at painting. Such was Kyle’s faith in her that she set aside all her misgivings and set out to enjoy something that wasn’t related to anything but quiet enjoyment. And it turned out that she had more than a little skill. Kyle gave her such encouragement. Kyle told Tabitha that, while he wouldn’t sell his interest in Unleashed, he would become a silent partner only. His appearances there would be infrequent, only when his partner, Andrew, required him. He explained that Unleashed still used his training films, and his presence would thus be required but probably diminish over time. He asked her to accompany him, and at first she refused. She wondered why he had given her the choice and then came to understand that she needed to deal with his past as well and let go of any niggling insecurity. Tabitha, therefore, agreed to attend the next such event.
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Chapter Six Tabitha sat stiffly on the leather couch in Unleashed’s viewing room and avoided Kyle’s eyes, trying to focus on the screen, willing away her unease. She and Kyle were an established couple, and while he still owned part of the establishment, she knew he was only a silent partner in the club with no active role involving other women. She accepted it, yet she felt uncomfortable. Slowly, she forced herself to relax and felt her lips take on a more natural curve as her cheeks smoothed out. Beside her, Kyle relaxed infinitesimally, as attuned to her as she was to him. The screen filled with a shadowed playroom setting, showing a woman spotlit from above, her bare back arched over the whipping bench, pale buttocks raised, her inner thighs glistening with moisture from her exposed pussy. A butt plug nestled between the cheeks of her ass. Even as the crowd watched, the flogger came down with great precision over her, and the woman wept and moaned in pleasure. Someone in the small gathering moaned along with her. The onscreen Kyle, dressed in leather pants, his shirtless, muscular torso gleaming with sweat, tenderly pushed her long, black hair away from her face, unveiling her features. Tabitha’s breath stopped in her throat, and her heart pumped against the wall of her chest. Kyle came to his feet, shouting for the damn thing to be turned off, right fucking now. Tabitha struggled up, pushing Kyle’s outstretched hand away. She couldn’t breathe. She thought she would faint. She had to get out of there. She sidestepped Kyle, inadvertently aided by Kyle’s partner Andrew who rushed toward the computer. Kyle cursed as he moved to miss Andrew, and Tabitha flew out of the room, her heels sounding
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staccato on the highly polished floors. Kyle pounded after her and caught up to her just as she made it to one of the restroom sinks. She caught a glimpse of her staring, tear-filled eyes, her face drawn in shock, before she bent over the sink and retched. **** “Tabitha, I’m so sorry,” Kyle breathed as he held her hair back and stroked her back. “I had no idea they were going to show that.” Kyle’s words trailed off, his brain clicking over, trying to sort out how that scene had even made it into Unleashed’s video files. That was the first video of Tabitha, long before she accepted his collar, and he was sure he had deleted it, along with all the others. Hell, he hadn’t even watched it, but the video had obviously been edited for it did not show the prelude to the whipping bench. He shuddered to think of what having her personal information shared with others would have meant, not to mention if the video had been shown another night when he wasn’t there and included the anal sex when he had claimed her for the first time. Even in her absence, it would have been a worse betrayal. Tabitha straightened up and accepted the dampened paper towels Kyle handed her. She wiped her mouth then bent to scoop up water to rinse and spit. Kyle reached for her as she stood again, turning toward him. She went rigid and looked through him. “I want to leave, excuse me,” she said, as if to a stranger. Her voice was wooden, and her body felt cold to his touch. “That’s fine, love,” Kyle comforted. “I’ll call for the car.” Tabitha didn’t resist as he led her out of the restroom and toward the front of the club, avoiding the small clusters of people who cast brief glances or pretended not to notice them. There were a couple of openly speculative stares, and a few supercilious ones, but those belonged to people unaware of his changed status. Tabitha looked forward unseeingly, but he felt her body begin to assert its familiar,
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graceful rhythm. They reached the foyer, and the doorman was ready with Tabitha’s cape and Kyle’s topcoat. “The car is being brought around, sir,” the well-trained staff member advised, never once allowing his eyes to rest on Tabitha. “Kyle!” He turned at the shout and observed Andrew bearing down on him. “We need to talk. I have something to show you,” the big Dom huffed. “It may not be available tomorrow.” He handed Tabitha the purse she had left behind in her headlong rush. Kyle hesitated, torn between getting Tabitha home and making things right yet responding to the depth of concern in Andrew’s voice. Andrew would never interfere in the need for Kyle to take care of Tabitha. Kyle had shared something of what had transpired between him and Tabitha, and his best friend would have an understanding of how tonight would have set the relationship back. “It will take only a minute,” Andrew urged, “we’re losing the evidence as we speak.” Kyle turned to Tabitha, taking her chin in his hand and tilting her face to his. “Wait in the car,” he said, unconsciously commanding her. “I’ll be out in a minute.” Tabitha kept her eyes down, but the doorman nodded to him and offered his arm. Tabitha took it and went out the door. **** Seated in the luxurious backseat of the limo, Tabitha tried to pull her thoughts together into some kind of semblance. Her gut roiled and her heart ached, that she knew. But the memory of her, captured on video and played for all to see, repeated itself over and over in her head. How could he have done that to her? Tabitha felt the urge to vomit again. She had been such a private person, unable to open up,
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to trust others. She had grown up with a cold, distant mother and absent father until her mother met her stepdad. Then her mother saw her as competition and treated her as such. And she had been competition, albeit the unwilling sort. Her stepfather was a deviant and his son followed in his father’s footsteps. Tabitha had never learned to trust because she hadn’t been able to do so. Even her grandmother had died and left her to fend for herself. She had learned how to act any part by the time she became an adult and knew people were comfortable around her, but she had no friends. The two men she had actually dated in college had not been interested in anything other than a physical relationship. Both of those quickly fizzled because as insensitive as those men were, they could tell sex meant nothing to her. She just went away in her head. Kyle knew all that! She thought he understood how her trust was at a premium. How could she have been so stupid? Kyle had widened her horizons, and she had come to love and trust him, and not just for insane pleasure through total submission. She trusted him with her very heart and soul, and he had let her down. In a spectacular fashion. He had taped her submission, used her as he had all those other women. To teach other men how to entrap and use gullible women. She was no different. It was all a lie. Everyone lied. Everything, all that she had worked out and dealt with because of Kyle, was back in her, poisoning her heart and soul. And she knew she could never get over it again, never take that chance. She was dying inside. Tabitha pushed the limo door open and nearly fell out onto the curb. She hung over the gutter and retched, despite her now empty stomach. Thomas rushed around to help her, but she motioned him away. Wiping her mouth on the back of her hand in a childlike motion that reflected her crushed spirit, Tabitha said, “I’m going to catch a cab, Thomas. Mr. Stone will be out shortly.”
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Thomas protested and tried to help her back into the car, but Tabitha pulled back and walked away from him. She stepped to the curb in front of the limo and waved at the line of cabs waiting in front of the nightclub across the street. One flashed its lights and pulled out to make a U-turn and stop in front of her. Tabitha climbed inside and asked the driver to take her to an address that popped into her head from a time that seemed far, far away. **** Kyle strode to the door, mulling over the images Andrew had shown him on the Club computer. It had clearly been hacked, but more disturbing was the amount of information imported from his home computer and that of Andrew’s. Even as they scrolled through the folders, items were being deleted by another, unseen hand. Kyle told Andrew he’d meet him the following morning after their tech support guy worked on this overnight. This was a serious breach of privacy and could cost them dearly if anyone sued, not to mention the impact on the confidentiality policy of Unleashed. It was a total clusterfuck, and Kyle’s instincts were on full alert. Thomas met him at the door, blustering about how Miss Tabitha had gotten sick and then taken herself off somewhere. The man’s face was white and his eyes full of anxiety. Kyle established that Tabitha had taken a cab and patted the man on the shoulder. “She probably just needed to get home, Thomas,” he reassured his driver who had been loyal and dependable for so many years. “She wasn’t feeling well.” He didn’t show the man how he was feeling. His gut told him that Tabi had run, and she really didn’t have anything to run to, so her impulsive action was both out of character and unsafe. His dominance swelled as he fought with both worry and the need to punish her for not waiting for him. This was not an insurmountable issue, he told himself, as he pulled his cell out and called home. There was no
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answer, but there really hadn’t been time for her to get there yet. He tried her cell, but it went to voicemail. Tabitha rarely carried her phone now or remembered to turn it on, so that was nothing new and an issue that until tonight wasn’t a big deal. Tabi saw phones as a luxury and not something she was a slave to, whereas Kyle wanted to be able to reach her anytime she wasn’t with him, as rare as that was. **** Tabitha paid the cabbie with most of the cash she had in her purse and exited the cab. As soon as she really looked at the house in the dim light from the street, she spoke back over her shoulder. “Wait.” She got back into the cab and directed the driver to the nearest bank ATM. Her house wasn’t a place she could return to, having finally fallen into a state of disrepair over the years. She had paid the taxes but didn’t do any maintenance, trusting to the high fence to keep children and vagrants from entering and getting hurt. She wouldn’t let Kyle pay for anything involving the house, and while she felt she couldn’t live there, Tabitha couldn’t bring herself to sell it, the place holding the few precious happy moments of her childhood when allowed to visit her grandmother. But that would have to change, now that she had no visible means of support, and while not insubstantial, her savings wouldn’t last forever. A job would be the answer, but Kyle would probably have a quiet chat with any prospective employers to block her from doing so. Tabitha was under no illusion that Kyle would expect her to return home where he would make this thing go away. If only he could. She had made her recent living on her back, on her knees, and in a variety of other positions, she supposed, and that made her little more than a whore when one took away the emotional connection. Because if he really cared for her, he wouldn’t have allowed anyone else see her let go of her pain, show something that was so intimate and personal. To be fair, he had never said he loved her, and there was no love without trust. Stupid her.
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Kyle could have replaced her, and she wouldn’t have seen that coming either. What did that say about her that she actually thought she had the wherewithal to know when to trust? When the cab pulled up to the ATM, Tabitha withdrew the daily maximum and was reassured when she saw her balance. She had never touched the account since being with Kyle, and it was a wonder her bank card still remained in her wallet along with her driver’s licence. She had sufficient funds for the interim and would have considerably more when she sold her house, and if that real estate agent who had hounded her in the past was correct, that could take a matter of days. Her grandmother’s home sat on prime ground coveted by some local building mogul. He was going to pay through the nose, Tabitha vowed. She needed the money in the worst way now, and her heart bled as she visualised the wrecking ball destroying the house to make way for yet another monstrosity of an apartment building for the up-and-coming generation. Through all of her clinical planning, Tabitha was aware of a bubble of hysteria straining to escape and renewed her efforts to suppress it. Tabitha let the cab go after paying the driver once again, and crossed the street at the first break in traffic. The hotel was pricey but handy, and she wanted to meet with the real estate agent from a position of strength. She’d be provided with necessities like a toothbrush and comb when she told them she’d decided to stay in the city overnight on a whim, and she could wear the clothes she had on for any meeting she held, knowing she looked rich and self-assured in them. The hotel robe would be suitable for the room, and room service would take care of meals, so she wouldn’t have to leave until her business was done. Battlefield planning didn’t allow for emotion or distractions. The reception desk staff welcomed her, accepting the lack of luggage without so much as a raised eyebrow, and showed her to a well-appointed suite after typing a memorized credit card into their system. She had prettily apologized for the lack of plastic, suggesting
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that her husband had not seen the need for her to carry her usual huge purse on a night out! The female clerk had rolled her eyes in commiseration. Tabitha carefully removed her clothing and hung up her dress and coat, stuffing the dry cleaning bags supplied by the hotel into her shoes. The lingerie went into the sink, to be rinsed with the complimentary shampoo then rolled in a towel and hung to dry. Tabitha slipped the terry robe on and went to the phone on the bedside table, pulling off her jewellery as she went. The diamond collar had to stay, locked as it was at the nape of her neck. Tabitha resolutely pulled her thoughts from that direction of travel and focused on placing the other jewellery in the top drawer of the nightstand. They were gifts from Kyle, and she decided to courier them to his office when she left. She called down to the front desk and asked for a care package to be sent up, waiting by the door for it to be delivered, which it was, in short order. Taking the hygiene items into the bathroom with her, Tabitha closed and locked the door, even though the door to the suite was double locked. She ran the shower and dropped the robe to the floor, stepping into the stream of hot water. She closed her eyes against the flow and sagged into the tile wall. Tears flowed, and she sobbed into her hands, the water washing away the salt and masking the sound. After a time, she shampooed and conditioned her hair and washed her body, taking comfort in the familiar motions. She shut her mind to the memory of Kyle performing those very ablutions for her. Tabitha stepped out onto the bath mat and wrapped herself in a towel. She vigorously towel-dried her hair, leaving the mirror steamed over so she didn’t have to see herself. She hung the towels up and slipped back into the robe, pulling its folds tightly around her and tied the belt. Slow and steady, plan every step, don’t think. She searched through the care package and unearthed a small package of painkillers and took them into the living room of the suite. A fridge concealed
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under a granite counter in the corner produced a small bottle of vodka, and Tabitha washed four painkillers down with it. She returned to the bedroom, snapping off lights as she went, and turned back the covers on the bed, now moving with robotic intent, exhausted from not thinking. She called the front desk and asked for a wake-up call, instructing that no other calls were to be put through to her room until then. Shedding the robe, Tabitha crawled into bed and pulled the sheet and duvet up to her ears, closing her eyes and waiting for the booze and pain relievers to interact and drop her into oblivion, keeping her mind empty and blank. She felt so alone and so cold.
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Chapter Seven Kyle went over to the cab queue and found out the name of the company. No one noticed who had picked up the fare across the street, although several drivers had seen the tall, slender woman waving for pick up. Kyle called home again with no result and kept trying Tabi’s cell. He cursed and paced, then placed a call to the cab company. The dispatcher told him he wouldn’t release that kind of information unless it was at the request of the police. Kyle called a contact in the local detachment and had the name of the driver in an hour. Unfortunately, the man was off duty, and dispatch thought he had headed out to his favorite fishing spot to get an early start the following day. He wasn’t expected back until the day after next. Kyle wasn’t prepared to wait and ascertained that the cabbie had a few friends still working that night, and tracked them down. He got some vague directions to the famous fishing hole, with dire consequences implied if he divulged them to anyone else. Thomas got him on the road in the SUV after a quick change of clothes, and after some backtracking and requests of the locals for directions, Kyle found the cabbie’s car. The sun had just come up, and he could see a boat floating near the center of the lake, a lone figure silhouetted against the blaze of color in the east. Kyle waved and shouted, careless of decorum and his famed control. He had thought of nothing but frightening scenes and terrifying outcomes since he walked out the door of Unleashed and found Thomas agitated, his Tabi-cat missing. Only his will to find her kept his focus. The figure in the boat looked his way, and the outboard motor flared to life. It took an age for the boat to get to the
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dock where Kyle waited to grab the rope. The cabbie was suspicious but quickly lulled by Kyle’s obvious concern and the proffered cash. He told Kyle about the aborted drop-off and how Tabitha had gone to the ATM. He hadn’t seen where she went after he was paid as he had called in to book off. “I think that lady was mighty sad, fellow,” he offered. “Hope you wasn’t the cause of that.” Kyle controlled his face only by considerable effort. “I plan to make things right, my friend, I assure you.” And whip her fine ass, too. Christ, she had led him on a chase, and he still didn’t know if she was somewhere safe. Kyle knew her resources to the penny. He knew and controlled all aspects of her life. When he caught up with her, and he would…Action was the only alternative right now, and he bent his considerable will and energy to make it so. **** Tabitha woke prior to the wake-up call and called down to cancel it. Her sleep had been deep but hardly dreamless, and again she shut off those thoughts of Kyle and concentrated on her plan for the day. She took a quick trip to the bathroom, never looking in the mirror, washed her hands, and went back to the phone. She reached Karen Shust, the real estate agent, after a quick glance through the yellow pages. Karen nearly came through the phone in her excitement. Tabitha explained that she was moving out of the country and had decided that leaving the house to fall into decay wasn’t in anyone’s best interest so thought she would sell it. She added that it had been an afterthought, left to the last minute, and if Karen thought it wasn’t enough notice, she would call someone else or wait until she returned. Karen insisted she could meet that afternoon, and Tabitha told her she could see her at the hotel, the jumping off point for a flight in two days. They set a time.
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Tabitha disconnected and immediately dialed her bank, asking for the manager. Mr. Williams came on the line, bursting with pleasantries for the woman of the holder of one of his largest accounts. He was somewhat taken aback at her request but agreed to have her file pulled out for her and have the mortgage papers copied, certified, and couriered to the hotel. Tabitha cited pressing engagements and an impulsive, out-of-country shopping tour being planned with friends, banking on the chatter from the television she had turned up in the living room to convince him of the veracity of her tale. She warmly thanked him and, as she hung up to avoid further conversation, called out cheerfully to her “friends” as she did so. She lay on the bed, considering her next step, and searched for the number to the city and land titles offices. She was able to convince both departments of her identity by providing her social security and driver’s licence numbers as well as her date of birth and mother’s maiden name. The bureaucrats were only too happy to oblige a poor handicapped woman by couriering over the documents to the address she provided. Neither tumbled to the thought that the downtown address might not be residential. Tabitha then ordered room service, asking for a pot of coffee, fruit, and dry toast. She hoped her stomach would handle it because no matter how busy she kept her brain, her body was remembering Kyle and screaming for her to pay attention. She called back and asked for tea instead. While waiting for the food, Tabitha mentally worked out her agenda for the afternoon, using her detail-oriented self, the one that had kept her life and her under control in the past, before Kyle. God, she so wasn’t going there. She forced her thoughts back to the sale of the house, reviewing possible scenarios then getting up to cross to the desk and make a few notes. Room service interrupted her, so she nibbled and drank as she completed the task, only then retreating to the bathroom to shower again and prepare for the upcoming meeting. ****
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Kyle stared at the footage from the ATM in the company of his police contact. He knew he had abused the helpful nature of the man but was rewarded with his Tabi-cat’s face, intent on her transaction. She looked shell-shocked, and it tore at his heart. The picture lasted long enough for him to see her approach the cab and then move off. Cursing, he slammed his hand on the desk. “She could have gone anywhere!” he growled. “Anywhere.” The detective shrugged. “She didn’t have enough cash to stay just anywhere, Kyle, so let’s start a few blocks out with the mom-and-pop places. We’ll flash her picture and my shield and see what turns up.” Kyle stared at him. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this, Devon. I need to find her.” Devon grimaced. “I was in the same place just a few short months ago, buddy, and I don’t envy you. Jeff and I nearly went insane.” Kyle had a vague memory of Devon’s wife, well, Devon and Jeff’s wife going AWOL after an incident at a sister club of Unleashed’s. He thought it had taken months to find Alexandra, he thought that was her name, and couldn’t stand to think about that happening to him. “Just a thought, Kyle, but you might want to review your lifestyle a bit and be prepared to grovel and take ownership of some shit,” Devon cautioned. “We sure did, and I may sound pussy whipped, but we have a happy home. Nothing could be better. Until Alex has the baby next month that is.” “Congrats,” Kyle murmured, but he really wasn’t listening. He wanted action, and they filed out the door of the bank. **** Tabitha finally faced the mirror, using the blow dryer to finish off her hair before pulling the comb through it. She dug in her purse for a compact and touched up her skin, adding a hint of lipstick and
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mascara. She studied herself and thought she passed. Objectively, she studied her body. The breasts were still full and high, the dark red nipples prominent. The waist was trim, the abdomen taut. She twisted to look at the buttocks, which were smooth and rounded, free of any marks despite Kyle’s attentions a few nights before. Stop thinking! For some reason there hadn’t been a razor included in the package the hotel supplied, but her armpits and legs were still stubble free, and it didn’t matter about her mound. That would soon grow out, and she’d have the itching to remind her of her stupidity. Then her brain flirted with the memory of what had happened the night before, and Tabitha cursed quietly, moving away from her reflection to lift her dry lingerie from the rack. She donned them swiftly, smoothing the stockings up her legs, securing them with the garters, and then hooking her bra. Kyle preferred that she didn’t wear panties, so she had none to put on. She didn’t look in the mirror but went to the closet and withdrew her dress, carefully pulling it over her head, smoothing out the odd wrinkle. She added the jewellery and risked a glance in the hall mirror. She was ready. She sat in the chair nearest the door, a few dollars in her hand, her notes nearby, the television off, absorbing the silence and allowing her soul to shrivel and die. Resolutely not thinking, just drifting. A knock at the door startled her, and she crossed to it. “Yes?” “A couple of packages for you, ma’am,” came a male voice. Tabitha opened the door and thanked the young man, passing him a tip and asking him to take away the room service tray still sitting in the hall. After shutting the door and locking up behind him, she tore open the envelopes and took out the evidence of a property free and clear, ready for sale. Tabitha shoved all the paperwork into the file folder from the desk drawer, turning it over so the hotel name didn’t show and sat down again to await the arrival of Karen Shust. Karen arrived fifteen minutes early, and Tabitha left her in the hallway for an extra minute, ushering her in breathlessly.
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“I’m in such a rush. The bed is covered in clothes to pack, so disorganized,” she warbled at Karen, distracting the other woman. “Please, sit,” she said. “I didn’t think to order room service, so if you don’t mind, we’ll get this done.” Karen seemed to buy the rushed act and offered a sum on behalf of the developer. Tabitha graciously declined, glancing at her watch. Karen took the bait and promptly doubled the amount. Tabitha didn’t blink an eye. “He’ll pay your commission of course.” Karen winced but conceded, and produced a sale agreement, filling in the agreed sum with no conditions and produced a bank draft after Tabitha signed. She smiled at Tabitha, appearing to silently gloat over what she thought was a victory by anticipating the amount Tabitha would accept. Tabitha didn’t respond. She merely handed over the paperwork on the house and mutely accepted the bank draft. She stood and went to the door, pretending not to see Karen’s offered hand. Karen’s face reflected some uncertainty then, but she walked out the door and didn’t speak again. Tabitha knew that Kyle did business with the developer and carried a few of his mortgages. She didn’t know if it would matter much to Kyle when he learned of the transaction and the freedom she had just obtained, but odds were, Karen was going to hear about it. It was a lucky thing that the house was free and clear and there were no legal hurdles to take. Crossing to the closet, Tabitha put on her cape and went downstairs. She had the doorman flag her a cab and directed him to her bank. She wanted to open a new account, get a temporary credit card issued, and buy some clothes as soon as possible so that she could leave before Kyle found her. She needed time to shore up her defenses in order to resist him. She wasn’t certain how she would be able to go on without him, but she couldn’t be with someone she didn’t trust.
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Chapter Eight Kyle and Devon had just wound up their canvass of the mom-andpop places and were heading back toward the ATM when Kyle thought he spotted her. The traffic precluded an advance of their vehicle, and he lost sight of her, so he left the passenger seat and ran. Breathing with exertion, he scanned the area but saw no further sign of a tall, slender woman in a black cape. A doorman at the Hallmark was watching him curiously, and Kyle approached him. “I thought I saw my wife just now,” he said. “I’m late, and she might have left without me. Tall, black cape, dark hair.” “Oh, Miss Land,” the doorman replied. “She just caught a cab, but she should be back. She hasn’t checked out yet.” Kyle felt relief that made his knees weak, followed quickly by anger. He forced himself to nod to the man and walked into the lobby. The reception clerk was cautious and initially refused to give him Tabitha’s room number or a key, but the manager came to his rescue. Kyle’s clients had stayed at the Hallmark many times in the past, and the manager knew who to thank for the business. Kyle accepted a key from the clerk and indicated that he would wait for his wife in her suite. He called Devon’s cell and found the cop had parked just outside. Kyle went out to the SUV and let Devon know he had found Tabitha. Devon looked at Kyle’s strained features and very obviously refrained from what he was going to say. “You don’t by chance have any items with you, do you, Devon?” Kyle asked. Devon shrugged. “I just bought Alex a new toy or two.” He reached into the back seat.
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“I’ll take the toys and make do,” Kyle said grimly. “Better think it through and have a plan, Kyle,” replied Devon, “You may think you know your woman, but if she ran from you…” Kyle took the proffered bag and shook Devon’s hand. “I can’t thank you enough for the help.” Devon took the hint and thumped Kyle’s shoulder. He climbed into his vehicle and pulled out into traffic, leaving Kyle standing on the sidewalk clutching a bright-orange bag embossed with JOY, feeling as though he had just lost his best friend. Which maybe he had. What the hell was Tabitha doing? Kyle regrouped and turned, striding into the hotel with purpose. He ascended to Tabitha’s suite and let himself in, going straight to the bathroom to unwrap and wash the gel dildo. He dried it carefully and placed it in the bedside table along with the vibe. He pulled the covers down to the foot of the bed and turned both bedside lamps onto their highest setting. Next, he tested the stability of the headboard and footboard. There was nothing else he could utilize except maybe his belt, so he took that off to place by the bed, only to put it back on through the loops. Tabi-cat could watch as he pulled it free and doubled it into his fist. He would use her stockings and bra to restrain her, or she could damn well just hold onto the headboard at his order. He felt his arousal build with the anticipation. A quick search then turned up nothing in the way of clothes or anything else, and he worried she would not return. But there was nothing left to do but wait. He was good at waiting and took the chair by the door. He idly paged through a few pieces of paper on the desk, noting numbers and calculations in six digits, but they meant nothing to him. **** Tabitha hurried through the hotel entrance. It was nearly dark, and she had finally concluded her business. She had a suitcase packed
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with a few changes of clothes, courtesy of a department store, and new credit and bank cards that corresponded to her new account. The bank manager had once again assisted her even with her limited identification. The large bank draft had helped. Her passport was still at Kyle’s house. There, she didn’t say it was still at home. She was letting go. It didn’t hurt. It did not. She had her driver’s licence, but that was all. Reapplying for a social security card, applying for health insurance and all the other mundane, taken-for-granted pieces of life’s identity had to wait. She had stopped at a travel agency and booked a flight out in the morning that would take her to Oregon. She would have to pay cash for the tickets at the airport until her credit card was activated, but she had that covered. Tabitha didn’t know why Oregon, but she thought she might find sanity there and a place to paint without interruption. No, she wouldn’t think of Kyle and painting in the same sentence. She would need to paint. If nothing else, she could live away from people. Live until she died. In truth, she felt like she lived in the skin of yet another woman right now, or at least shared the body with someone else. The old Tabitha was gone, and so was the second chance Tabitha. There was the “before Kyle life,” the “with Kyle life,” and the “after Kyle life.” The “after Kyle life” was forever, and right now, she hoped it didn’t last too long. Tabitha wouldn’t take her own life, but she didn’t expect she would make any effort to prolong it either. The ache of her heart and ashes of her soul had crept past her busy brain, and Tabitha needed to get to her room and recover as best she could. Tabitha let herself into her hotel suite and was struck by the dimness yet noted the illumination coming from the bedroom. That was strange. Perhaps the maid had turned the lamps on. She threw the deadbolt and set her suitcase down, only then becoming aware of the shadowed form sitting in the very chair she had chosen earlier to wait in for the sounds of her future. There was no doubt in her mind who it could be.
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“Kyle,” she stated. He rose and advanced toward her, and it took all of her composure to face him and not back away. He reached out and fisted her hair, pulling her to him and taking her mouth in a brutal, punishing kiss. Tabitha endured and, somehow, did not respond nor surrender to him. He released her, only to take her arm and half drag her to the bedroom, snatching up her suitcase in his other hand. “Stop,” she said. Kyle ignored her and pushed her to sit on the bed, then opened the case and sifted through the contents. He pulled out the stockings and garter belt she had changed out of in the store and tossed them on the bed beside her. She knew he was thinking they would work as restraints. He stared at her, and she saw anger and lust in his eyes. There was something else, too, but too fleeting for her to recognize. “Take off your clothes,” Kyle commanded in a dark, intent tone. “No,” she said, staring at him. Kyle advanced on her and reached for her shirt, rage and lust dancing across his features before he schooled them into his usual composed visage. She shoved at his hands. “Benjamin.” Kyle froze and appeared to stop breathing. He backed away and repeated what she had said. “Benjamin?” “Yes, Kyle, my safe word. The one I never used. Never.” Tabitha’s control almost broke on the word but she continued, “But I expect you remember that.” “I’m not letting you have a safe word tonight, Tabi. You are going to receive punishment, and then you are going to make things up to me. Then I’m taking you home,” growled Kyle. “Where’s your honor, Kyle?” she asked calmly. “Or has that gone by the wayside, too, along with betraying the total trust I afforded you?”
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**** Kyle held himself perfectly still and reached for the control this woman had nearly stripped from him. When he was certain he wouldn’t push her down on the bed and fuck her senseless for worrying him, no, for terrifying him, he responded. “We need to work this out, Tabi-cat,” he said slowly. “You know we do.” “There’s nothing to work out, Kyle. I. Don’t. Trust. You. Anymore.” That flat statement blew Kyle’s plans, hopes, and dreams out of the water in an instant. He heard the certainty, the coldness in her tone and recognized her devastation. He briefly bowed his head then raised it to look at her. “I’m not backing away from this, Tabi-cat. We have something together, and I’m not giving it up. I’m not letting you go.” Tabitha replied in the same, flat tone, “We no longer have anything, Kyle, and I am not yours to keep. I want you to leave, or I will get hotel security involved if you can’t follow your own protocol.” Kyle’s eyes tracked to her throat and saw the absence of his collar, an angry red welt apparent instead. He accepted the momentary reality of the situation and acquiesced. He turned and moved toward the couch in the living area of the suite, forcing himself to avoid looking at her again. If he did that, he would take her down into a world of pleasure, and while he knew her body would respond, she might hate him for it. She was clearly exhausted, on the edge, and despite the fact that everything in him cried out to push her and not leave her to think anymore, he wouldn’t risk her hatred. If she didn’t hate him already. For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what the correct decision was to make. “I’ll sleep out here, Tabitha,” he said. “We’ll talk further in the morning.”
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Tabitha closed the bedroom door behind him. She didn’t turn the lock. She didn’t need to. The informal barrier underscored her earlier message. Kyle lay on the couch, his eyes open and fixed on the ceiling, his jaw taut, as he listened to the sounds of his woman in abject pain in the next room. He wanted to go to her, to comfort and reassure her, but held back, not knowing what to do for the first time in their relationship. When he could no longer hear her crying, his eyes drifted shut, and he lapsed into his first rest in nearly thirty-six hours. Kyle awoke late the next morning, initially disoriented, and then he recalled the events of the past two days. He sat up and swung his legs to the floor, looking toward the closed door of the bedroom. He hated to wake Tabi but needed the bathroom, and then he would slide in beside her, so she would awaken to his touch and listen to what he had to say. She would come to understand what had happened. Kyle eased the door open and walked silently to the bathroom. He used the toilet and scanned the room. It looked the same as it did the previous evening, but he had picked up on something different. Kyle re-entered the bedroom and moved toward the bed. A mound of linens covered her slender form, and he smiled with tenderness, remembering how chilled she got without him beside her in bed. His smile disappeared as he realized the only thing on the bed was the piled bedding, and he looked to see that the suitcase was gone. He had automatically registered its disappearance on the way to the bathroom but had subconsciously rejected the message it gave him. “Fuck,” he cursed. “God damn her, she got past me.” His words echoed in the empty room, mocking him. Kyle sat on the bed, his head in his hands. He spotted something shining on the bedside table and leaned over to pick it up. It was his collar, the delicate chain snapped through, the diamonds scattered and hanging along the double knotted strands. He was suddenly overcome with despair, and it rolled over his anger and frustration like a tidal wave. Tabitha had left him, and he didn’t know if he had the energy to find
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her again because, deep down, he didn’t think he could fix things. She didn’t trust him anymore. That rang like a death knell. He had been the only person in her life that had gained her trust, and he had let her down. That she still loved him he didn’t doubt. Her anguish the night before was proof of that, but there could be no relationship without trust, and Tabitha had been a broken individual when he’d met her. Only he had made her whole, and he suspected she was broken again, at best badly bent. No matter that the circumstances could be explained and, in actuality, absolve him, Tabitha’s world had crumbled around her, and she had taken on a survival persona harder and more resourceful than ever before. The very brittleness of that persona could spell disaster for her, but she wouldn’t know that. He didn’t know how he could live without her, but he likely had no choice. And he had never told her that he loved her, not once. What did that say about him?
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Chapter Nine Tabitha boarded the flight to Portland, Oregon right on time. There was an awkward moment when she had had to remove her sunglasses for the flight attendant checking boarding passes, but the woman had tactfully avoided comment. Tabitha knew her eyes were swollen to mere slits in her face, and her cheeks glowed raw from the chafe of spent tears. But it didn’t matter what anyone thought of her. She was untouchable, separate from everyone else now, an entity unto herself. The shell would be civil, polite, and cope well in society, for God knew it had had enough practice. The woman beneath simmered with pain and rage, the love burned off. Tabitha was alone again, and she was solidly in “life after Kyle” mode. The lessons of childhood served her well. His name would never darken her thoughts again. She had heard him moving around beyond the bedroom door the night before as she rested her forehead against the wood panel. She had then turned and gone into the bathroom, cooling her face at the sink, brushing her teeth on autopilot. She had shed her clothes, carelessly dropping them as she staggered to the bed, crawling up onto the mattress, pulling the covers up over her head. She had dissolved then, the pain of losing Kyle and the falseness of their relationship washing over her, and she had wept uncontrollably, her sobs muffled by the bed linens and pillows. She had known better than to trust. Served her right. Exhaustion had finally taken her into sleep. She had risen early in the hotel and quickly washed and dressed, leaving the items Kyle had pulled from her suitcase where they’d fallen. She hadn’t even made any real effort to leave without waking
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him. He was dead to the world, sprawled on the couch, and she spared him but a glance, afraid her heart would force her to abdicate her plans. The hotel staff was efficient in assisting her with checkout, and she walked a block in the early-morning sunshine before catching a cab to the airport. The plane droned through the sky, and Tabitha drifted in and out of a light doze. Her seat partner, a nice-looking, young man, tried to make conversation with her but was soon deterred by her aloofness and forays into sleep. She was one of the first to disembark with her carry-on and made her way to the taxi stand. Taking the scenic route to a modest motel on the outskirts, Tabitha made conversation with the driver, and he told her that a local real estate company had a good reputation for finding the right property for people. Tabitha checked in to the motel and took a light meal in the tiny restaurant. All around her, people got on with their lives, talking, laughing, and making plans. She felt distant from them all, and vaguely recognized it as the same kind of shock she had experienced when her mother had rejected her in favor of believing her new husband and his son. Tabitha was never safe after that moment, enduring their attentions on a regular basis, her need for her mother’s love and attention evaporating. But she wouldn’t think about that either. Damn Kyle for helping her work it through and being able to let it go, only to have her face the fact that it was all built on a falsehood. The real estate company was within walking distance, although walking distance in Oregon appeared different than what Tabitha thought reasonable. However, her muscles welcomed the exercise and the weather was fine, if humid. Her hair would be a mass of curl in no time, but she wouldn’t be fussing with it anymore. She’d probably cut it, if keeping it short didn’t prove to be even more tiresome. Thoughts wandering, Tabitha arrived at the storefront property, and she ventured inside. It felt homey, somehow, although full of modern technology. A young woman immediately approached her to offer
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assistance, and Tabitha quickly found herself seated in an office with a balding, middle-aged man who reminded her of a schoolteacher if not for a pair of very shrewd eyes. Tabitha called on her business persona and crisply informed him of her requirements. Equally businesslike, “call me Cal” typed industriously on his computer and beamed her way. “There are two properties that meet your requirements, Ms. Land,” he informed her with obvious glee. “We can go and view them right now if you’re able.” “No time like the present, er, Cal,” Tabitha answered. The first place was about an hour south of Portland, located on a couple of acres with forest and the smell of water nearby, but the house was dark and didn’t speak to Tabitha. She declined, disappointing Cal she was sure, but the agent drove her to the second property, silent for the most part. He was obviously more sensitive than his salesman attitude initially suggested, or he found her eccentric and didn’t know how to engage her. His take on artists probably included words like eccentric, hermit-like, and so forth. Tabitha was content with that idea if it kept people at bay. She found the second place very appealing. It was nearly two hours from Portland, and the small house sat on a slight knoll, the yard meadow-like with sweeping vistas on three sides of forest. There was a small village with post office, grocery-general store, and restaurant, announced Cal, a short drive away. He assured her of her privacy, especially if she posted the gate at the end of the long driveway. Inside, natural light flooded the empty rooms, especially one of the upstairs bedrooms, and while the bathroom appeared antiquated, the claw foot tub and handheld shower boasted significant water pressure. Cal believed the well to be dependable. The other bedroom was cozy and welcoming despite a dearth of closet space. The living area hosted a stone fireplace, complete with a recent inspection sticker, and the eat-in kitchen sported warmly painted cabinets and fairly new appliances, although there was no dishwasher.
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Tabitha thought she could manage the few dishes she would use. All in all, she thought it was perfect for one person. Concealing her interest, Tabitha accompanied Cal back to the office. She told him she might consider the property but would sleep on it. Cal perked up and offered to pull comparables for her, and they arranged to meet the following day. The motel room felt empty, and Tabitha found the television less than interesting as she surfed through the channels. Giving up, she began to make lists, organizing her thoughts and making plans. In occupying her brain, she sectioned off her feelings and memories, rebuilding the walls. She called Cal’s cell and told him she couldn’t meet with him the following day so would offer on the second property if he would meet her in the motel restaurant. Tabitha was taking back control. It felt somewhat familiar if not particularly palatable. Cal arrived promptly and presented her with the comparables, and she came up with an offer based upon immediate possession. He clearly felt it was low but agreed to present it to the sellers that evening and call her. The fact that it had stood empty made Tabitha feel that she would soon own it. The phone woke Tabitha from an uneasy nap. Cal had a fair counteroffer for her, and she accepted it, agreeing to have him fax it to the motel office for signature and return it in the same manner. By eleven o’clock that evening, Tabitha had purchased The Knoll with only the usual incidentals to be completed when she took possession in five days time. Tabitha took care of business and shopped incessantly for four days to outfit the house and herself, finding a moving company who agreed to have all her purchases delivered to them then transported to her house. She purchased a secondhand SUV with the assistance of Cal’s son-in-law and had a garage ensure its safety and readiness. She opened a bank account in Portland and applied for all the documentation she had left behind. She fell into bed each night too tired to think after checking her financial position on the computer in
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the motel lobby. Cal had assured her that she would be able to get wireless ’Net, and her last purchase before driving to clean the house and await the moving truck was a laptop and cell phone, signing a contract with a local provider. She had no one to call, no one to call her, but thought vaguely of emergencies, accepting that she wasn’t yet ready to totally cut herself off from the outside world. Unpacking and arranging furniture took nearly a week, for she paced herself, not knowing how she would occupy her brain when she finished. Tabitha decided to live with the house the way it was before making any changes, and was content with the comfortable furniture, kitchen items, and art supplies she had chosen. Even the linens and the additional articles of clothing picked for the Oregon climate began to calm her. The movers had commented on the lack of a television, but Tabitha serenely ignored them. Tabitha knew she would have to make her way to the village again and find someone to help her with any maintenance issues until she could learn to take care of them herself but trusted she could wait a while for that. Picking up groceries and gassing up the SUV had exposed her to as much of small-town life as she could endure. The open, friendly attitude laced with blatant curiosity frightened her and shored up her resolve to keep to herself until she believed no one would breach her defenses. In the meantime, she would draw and paint, allowing it to consume her and give as much comfort as she thought she might take.
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Chapter Ten Six months later, Kyle entered his house and stood for a moment listening to the silence. There were still times when he thought he saw her beautiful naked form kneeling on the flagstones upon his entry, the love shining out of her eyes. He had given up that morning Tabi had left the hotel and vanished. At first, he hadn’t tried to look for her, convincing himself that he was doing the right thing. He’d thrown himself into his various business ventures and even gone back to the club within several weeks. While he no longer brought women home to train them and make videos, as he couldn’t sully Tabitha’s memory that way, he helped other Doms, teaching and encouraging them. Touching the women left him cold, and fucking any of them simply didn’t happen. He had carried her broken collar in his pocket for weeks before taking it to a jeweller for repair. They had caught the culprit responsible for the computer breaches with the assistance of a brilliant reformed hacker, and Kyle had been furious to discover that a virus had been inserted into the club computer and, thus, infiltrated both his and Andrew’s during file transfers. Even Kyle’s deleted files were hijacked and appeared randomly in other venues. There had been several near misses involving breaches of confidentiality and file sharing, but the asshole had tried blackmail, and the FBI then took an interest. After a harrowing three months, the investigation was complete and a trial date set. The judge was expected to post a publicity ban, and Kyle had pushed that issue to the back burner. The asshole was a disgruntled wannabe Dom, a kid really, who thought the lifestyle was about doing whatever he wanted to women,
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getting his rocks off and giving nothing back. Kyle and Andrew had escorted him off the premises one night when a sub had pressed the panic button. They’d reviewed the tapes of all his other encounters and had seen his behavior escalating. Richard Pratt was his name, and he was furious at being ejected and banned from Unleashed, not to mention the fact that all the other clubs had been advised of his antics. Andrew could only think that Pratt had gotten into his computer when he had been left to cool his heels in the office while Kyle had been called to make the ejection unanimous. Who knew that the little prick’s revenge would have been so lethal? Kyle’s friends and connections asked after Tabitha without fail and Kyle dodged their questions. Andrew finally cornered him one night at the club, and Kyle confessed that he had let her go. “Are you nuts, man?” Andrew’s tone was incredulous. “After finding your One, you just let her go?” Kyle shrugged and tried to avoid further conversation but Andrew wasn’t finished. “You look like shit, you clearly aren’t taking care of yourself. You’re working every day of the week and not taking time to play!” Kyle recognized that his interest in life was minimal and rote, and that he wasn’t getting any better. He actually made an appointment to see a therapist, cancelling it at the last minute. Finally, he called Devon and asked if he could talk with them and Alexandra. Devon was cautious, as Alexandra had given birth to their son just five months previous, but agreed that Kyle could come over the following evening. That night was one of the most harrowing times of his life, filled with painful revelations. While Alex was not at all like Tabitha, their upbringing reflected the lack of nurture both had endured. Alex had thought she’d miraculously found a future, only to have it torn from her by dint of manipulation and lack of communication, further complicated by masculine pride and ego. The fact that Devon and Jeff had been able to bring her back into their lives was another miracle,
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one that neither took lightly to the extent that they had relinquished all ties to BDSM clubs and much of the lifestyle. Kyle understood that in surrendering to him, Tabitha had taken a chance few people with her history would ever have taken even given several lifetimes, and was further humbled by it. Alexandra had looked at him out of her silvery-gray eyes, skewering him with a glance. She had held her child protectively, and Kyle knew that he wouldn’t like what she had to say. “Your Tabitha took the biggest chance in her life with you, Kyle. I know. I did the same thing with my men, and if she is anything like me, she won’t be doing very well without you. She’ll be a shadow of herself. You need to find her.” So he found a trauma therapist and consulted with her on several occasions. Nothing he learned was a real surprise to him, but he came to accept that in order to deal with what she naturally perceived was the ultimate breach of trust, Tabitha would have regressed to the person she was prior to being with him, and that her defenses would be reinforced and even more indefatigable. There was no way for someone with Tabitha’s history to interpret the training video other than believing Kyle’s feelings for her were in no way different than how he felt about any other submissive, especially when Kyle had never professed his love for her. This had reduced her to nothing when she had come to believe that she actually meant something to someone. Kyle had been correct in wondering that if he had forced her with punishment and pleasure that night in the hotel, she could have broken along irreparable lines. The therapist was not hopeful that she had not already done so. Kyle was far more concerned by the therapist’s contention that, while Tabi’s defenses would be well constructed simply in order to survive, there was a very real chance that someone could shatter them, just as Kyle feared, a predator who could sense the ultimate victim to despoil forever. Kyle knew how many such people were out there in the world and made the decision to find her and somehow fix things.
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The private investigator Kyle hired had called that morning to say he believed he had found Tabi, although the woman didn’t really sound like Tabi and had a different name. And this woman lived in Oregon. Still, the house was in the name of Tabitha Land, so perhaps she was renting to someone who could point Kyle in the right direction. The PI hadn’t been able to interview the woman, held off by the two large dogs guarding the property, but had photos of her in the yard and on the porch to share. Kyle stared at the pictures attached to an email from the PI. It was his beautiful Tabitha. Her ebony hair was pulled back in a braid, small wisps escaping the stricture to curl about her face. Kyle saw fine strands of silver streak back from her temples, and he frowned. Tabi wasn’t yet thirty. It was as if her hair had aged overnight. He could make out the ice blue of her eyes above the slash of her cheekbones, and his glance lingered on the full paleness of her mouth. She stood on the porch of a small frame house, staring off slightly to the left of the photographer, clearly unaware of being watched. A light cotton sundress, spotted with what looked like paint spatters, fell over her frame, full breasts evident, but the rest of her body was painfully thin. Kyle instinctively knew Tabi wasn’t remembering to eat, that she had probably gotten getting lost in her painting, something she had enjoyed in moderation while with him. He had carefully encouraged but monitored her hobby, just as he monitored the rest of her life. But that life was again out of balance, and he thought maybe he might have found her just in time. Another attached file profiled the beautiful setting Tara Larson’s home occupied. Why Tabi changed her name wasn’t clear. He doubted she had done it to hide from him because she had to know tracing her through public documents would be easy for someone with his resources. He zoomed in on two figures descending the meadow and saw two huge dogs, nondescript breeds, but likely the ones keeping people off the property. Kyle loved animals and wondered why he and Tabi had never gotten a pet, something for her
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to have as company when he had to be away from her even for such short periods of time. He wondered if he had ever truly totally accepted that he wanted Tabitha to be in his life forever until she had run from him, and getting a pet might have made his commitment more real. He never told her he loved her. That thought kept haunting him and making him question ulterior motives. Kyle booked a flight to Portland for the next day, arranging for an SUV at the airport, then went to his bedroom and began to pack. He had no plan, packed none of the tools of his trade, just decided to present himself to Tabi and fix things. He was optimistic and confident, ignoring the tiny voice in the back of his head that suggested he wouldn’t be enough.
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Chapter Eleven Tara Larson lay beneath the pumping figure of Roger Bend and thought about where she might walk to paint tomorrow. She believed that in the time she had left, she would never run out of places on her property to explore and try to capture the illusive object her watercolors hinted at and her oils fairly screamed about. Roger bucked to completion and collapsed on top of her before rolling off. He pulled off the condom and said, “Well, now, precious, you needed that, I can tell. Next time you come into town, I’ll maybe have you meet my cousin. I know you suck as good as you fuck.” Tara Larson murmured something and rolled up to her feet, pulling her dress over her head and toeing into her shoes. “Not much for après sex, are you?” commented Roger. He got up and opened the door for her in grotesque courtesy, patting her buttocks as she passed. His office backed onto an alley surrounded by windowless walls, and thus, there was no fear of discovery by Roger’s tyrant of a wife. It served Tara Larson’s purpose to keep his use of her under wraps as well. For the time being. Tara Larson continued to the grocery store where she picked up the items on her list, adding more cat food. She had hauled all the females to Portland and had them spayed and given their shots before bringing them back home the same day. There were no kittens, but the cats were either eating more or additional ones had wandered in. She was running out of creative names. That trip to Portland had been a long, onerous day, but she couldn’t leave her home overnight. It was her sanctuary, and her biweekly trip into the village was normally as much as she cared to undertake. The folks in the store treated her
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politely, if distantly, and she responded in kind, yet there were none of the pleasant weather-type comments and such she heard them sharing with the other shoppers. The curiosity had probably not dissipated, but they respected her boundaries. She had already forgotten Roger Bend and his cousin. He was just another chore to attend to when she came to town until she had mastered the pistol she had finally obtained all the necessary permits for. If Roger came on her property to fuck her and threatened to shoot her dogs again or harm any of the injured or orphaned animals she cared for, she would kill him. She had already spoken with the state police and had made certain the grounds were laid for a self-defense eventuality. It was doubtful that he had told anyone of what he was doing to her as blackmail to keep her animals safe, and equally doubtful he really had a cousin to introduce her to. People knew Roger Bend, and she had no doubt that they would view him as the villain and her the innocent. It never occurred to her to ask for their help. She would never ask for anyone’s help again. It destroyed a person when one took the proffered hand and then it ripped out one’s heart. Tara Larson drove up to her home after closing the gate at the end of the lane. Murphy and Law cavorted alongside the vehicle, and a number of cats in a myriad of colors poured around the side of the house across the porch. She knew them all, their personalities and their stories, had named each and every one. The fox with the broken foreleg gazed out at her from the kennel tucked under the shade of the jasmine vine, relaxed and unworried, and the fawn curled up on the doormat bleated in hunger. She had a variety of birds in various sized cages, all in different stages of recovery. She never kept a wild animal once it was healed, but sometimes they visited. Renaud the fox was in a kennel so the dogs wouldn’t play too hard with him while she was away, and the door wasn’t even shut tightly. He had accepted the safety of the roomy crate when she had offered it to him. The fawn had probably run the property line with the dogs, and she hoped its mother would come back sooner than later before it totally bonded to
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her. The cats regarded Murphy and Law as protectors, and the minor squabbles among her guests invariably settled the moment she came into sight. Tara Larson was nearly fully engaged in her revised reality. When she died, she would hope that the domestic creatures would survive under the terms of her will or have passed on before her. The latter was unlikely given the state of her heart. She knew it was in fragments and didn’t know how it continued to power her body. After unloading the groceries and feeding the rest of the menagerie, Tara Larson pulled the fawn onto her lap while she sat in the rocker near the front door. She pushed the long nipple attached to the soda bottle into its mouth and contentedly watched it suckle a full half litre of formula before it dozed off in her arms. Tara Larson closed her eyes and rocked, ignoring the soreness between her legs and the unceasing pain in her heart. **** Kyle found the wandering road to Knoll House after inquiring at the post office. The bird-like woman behind the counter had been quite willing to oblige. He was bemused by the woman’s interest, which was quickly followed by detailed directions. The caution that people weren’t welcome at Knoll House even though the lady who lived there was a nice little thing, who always supported the stores in town and never bought from the outsiders, although she was a bit odd one might say, was offered as an afterthought. He left his vehicle at the gate and walked the rest of the distance. The two large dogs he had seen in the pictures raced toward him, bellowing threats and assuming aggressive stances, but Kyle calmly forged ahead, and they separated and fell in beside him, providing an escort of sorts. He saw several cats sprawled on and around the porch, and in a chair by the door, rocking with what appeared to be a baby deer on her lap, was Tabitha. Kyle came to a halt at the foot of the one
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stair up to the porch and spoke her name. She stared at him without a hint of recognition, and his gut tensed. “Tabitha, I’ve missed you so much, sweetheart,” he told her, “I couldn’t stay away.” Tabitha set the little deer down and waited until it got its feet under it. She then stood up and said, “My name is Tara Larson,” before turning to open the door. She went through it, and it closed behind her. Kyle shook his head and followed her. He found himself in a warm, inviting space, full of wonderful cooking smells and the underlying taint of turpentine. He looked around for Tabitha, but there was no sign of her, and his eye was drawn to the stairs. He climbed them and looked into what clearly was the master bedroom, sheer curtains billowing at each window and a plump counterpane covering the small bed in the center of the room. A heavy armoire stood against the windowless wall. A glance into the empty bathroom left the last room Tabitha must have gone into, and he found her there, surrounded by paintings, scrutinizing one on an easel positioned to make the most of the amazing late afternoon light that flooded the room. “Tabitha.” She looked at him and repeated, “My name is Tara Larson.” Kyle stepped into the room and was struck by the immediate assault of the canvasses. They were primarily nature scenes, and the colors blazed or conversely muted and blended together, but they all reached out to him as if seeking something. He looked away to see her watching him, still without apparent recognition, and reached out to her again. “I’ve come to see you, Tabitha, and explain something to you. You deserve an explanation and an apology, too,” he offered. “May I talk with you for a few minutes?”
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She stared back, seeming to consider his words, then shrugged. She sidestepped him and walked down the hallway and into her bedroom. He followed her, and she turned to face him, raising her hands to the buttons on her sundress, loosening them and allowing the garment to slide off her shoulders to the floor. She wore nothing underneath. She was so thin, her ribs clearly visible and her hipbones jutting away from her pelvis. A patch of dark pubic hair decorated her mound, and her breasts sat high on her chest, the dark-red nipples a startling contrast to the rest of her white skin. Kyle warred with an intense desire to fuck her and the need to cover her, care for her. Tabitha backed to the bed and laid back on it, squirming her way up so that her head rested on the lone pillow. She spread her legs and waited. Kyle fought the urge to throw himself on her and accept her surrender, her submission, except it was hardly that. He didn’t know this woman, as she likely didn’t know herself. “Get up, and get dressed,” he told her. “I’ll wait downstairs for you.” She followed him a few minutes afterward, wearing the same sundress, and sat opposite him at the table. Kyle wondered where to start. He was beginning to get anxious. Anxious and uncomfortable. “Why did you do that, Tabitha?” he asked her. “Why did you offer yourself like that to me?” “My name is Tara Larson, but Tabitha thought you’d take the fuck and leave. There isn’t anything more here to offer you.” Kyle’s insides turned to ice, and he took a moment to compose himself. He began to explain to her about how he always videoed the women who agreed to participate in his kink, although he got written permission before using the tapes in training. He didn’t tell women beforehand because spontaneity was vastly important for proper training. Most of the women, he assured her, were comfortable being on tape. He deleted any footage of those who indicated differently. He explained that the camera and the lighting were wired together and that he hadn’t bothered to disconnect them because it had just been
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her and him in the playroom once he had met her. He hadn’t wanted anyone else. He could understand that people might see it as an invasion of privacy, but the women who wanted to participate in BDSM activities essentially accepted forms of exhibitionism and wanted to see the footage. He recognized now that it was wrong because he was trying to stop being an egotistical boor. He shared that he also hadn’t told her that she had been videoed because that night had been different for him, and he’d deleted the footage without even looking at it and every bit of footage thereafter, knowing it was something he would never share with anyone. Something that he didn’t need to watch. He had her. He had known long before that night that she was his and his alone forever. He detailed how his computer was hacked via a virus at Unleashed and how many private files were stolen, including the one he had deleted of her. Kyle saw Tabitha’s tiny flinch when he spoke of that, and it gave him hope, for she wasn’t as disconnected as she had first presented. He hoped she didn’t think of all the additional footage that could have been used. “I should have taken you straight home that night instead of going back with Andrew. I should have told you I videotaped you. You might have told me then, because I finally figured out what this is all about, Tabitha.” She sat silently, staring at him. He couldn’t read her, couldn’t read the woman he had lived with, knew intimately, had trained in a lifestyle that ultimately had been to fully meet both their needs. And yet, he hadn’t told her he loved her. He continued, “I figured out that it wasn’t about seeing yourself that night at Unleashed, although that was an embarrassing, humiliating experience for you. I figured out that you took a long time and a huge risk and not a little courage to give yourself to me, to surrender and submit, but most of all to trust me, to trust yourself for the first time. You told me that in every way, long before the playroom, and I videotaped you anyhow because I couldn’t let myself
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believe you were the One until I had all of you that night. I didn’t trust you. And I ended up making you feel you meant nothing more to me than the other women, although that absolutely isn’t true. But I hadn’t even told you how much I love you, and I regret that the most. I am a coward. Deep down, I was afraid of total commitment.” He waited anxiously, yet still, she said nothing. “I waited that night in your hotel room and planned to use our kink to get you to talk to me. I didn’t know any other way. I was angry because you ran and because I didn’t want to accept that I had done something so wrong. Most of all, I couldn’t face how much pain I caused you. Then I tried to let you go. I told myself that was what you needed, but it isn’t true. I’ve come to tell you how sorry I am, and to beg you to be my wife. I’ve come to fix this.” Tabitha stood and walked to look out the window, folding her arms across her breasts, hugging herself. “I’m living my ‘after Kyle life,’” she said, “and while it isn’t a happy life, I’m living it on my terms. I have enough money, I have my painting, and I have the animals. I don’t need anything else.” She turned and looked directly at him, the silver in her hair catching the light. “It was a pretty speech, Kyle, and really quite intuitive. But it changes nothing. You want, and you need. I don’t.” Kyle surged to his feet and made to approach her. She held up her hand and said, “You can’t fix this because you can’t fix me. I’m broken. Tabitha is broken. Forever. Now go.” She was totally calm and resolute and looked at him with empty eyes. Kyle nearly staggered through the door as he heeded Tabitha’s edict. He felt totally powerless against her and knew it was because he was guilty. There was no room for misunderstanding. By the time he reached the car, Kyle had accepted the truism of actually feeling one’s heart break. He had lost her forever and now had to live with that fact.
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He wondered at the years ahead and how he would fill them, if he had anything like her courage. **** Tara Larson sat on the porch and watched the dust from Kyle’s vehicle gradually fade as it settled back to the roadbed. She had nearly let him back into her life. Part of her believed him and longed for him so badly that she felt ill from the loss. She didn’t know what would have happened if he had taken her offer of sex and wished he had seen through her defenses. But the past had intervened. She had taken the chance with him and found him to be false and as untrustworthy as the people in her life before him. Only that time, she had chosen to take the chance. She had trusted herself. She hadn’t had the choice before where her family was concerned. So she blamed herself even more than she blamed Kyle, having had lots of time to reflect and self-flagellate. It was better that he had left. She would re-bury Tabitha and continue to mark the days. People in the Witness Protection Program did it all the time. She dropped her face into her hands and wept. **** Kyle got up from his seat in the VIP lounge at the airport. He was a total fucking coward. How could he have just walked away from Tabitha for the second time? How had he let his woman, his perfect submissive, push him away? Again? She was in a terrible state, and it had undermined his intent. She hadn’t adjusted, hadn’t found a new life. She had regressed in order to cope and had pushed him away just like she had done with everyone else all those years just to survive. He had plucked her from an empty life, occupied only with a career, and taught her the pleasures of intimacy and love. He had changed her life totally, become her life, and then let her down. He had torn away
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everything. Tabitha was in no frame of mind to listen to reason. That therapist had been both right and wrong. Tabitha was indeed broken. She had regressed back to being the shattered child from her past and adopted a persona to protect that child. But he had made a grave mistake in not forcing his will upon her and helping her cope. Tabitha was nothing like the young woman his cop friend was married to, him and his friend. Not even close. Although Alexandra had been right in urging him to find her. He, Kyle, was the Dominant and had stepped out of his role with his submissive. While Tabitha essentially had the power in their relationship, she could only wield it when he was being who he truly was. The betrayal she experienced because of his carelessness aside, the terror she must have felt when she used up all of her reserves to escape him and plan a life without him was on him, too. He only hoped that he had the strength to bring her back to him. He cursed his weakness and decided instead to have the strength, no matter what it took. Tabitha was about to be trained once again and return to being that secure, loving, wonderfully sexual woman she had become until she saw that film clip of herself and believed herself to be betrayed, that she had betrayed herself in giving him her trust. Kyle waited impatiently at the car rental kiosk, furious that he had missed two opportunities to sort the matter through that very night. Tabitha might not have been able to sit comfortably for a week, let alone walk without a sore pussy the next day, but she would have seen reason and not allowed her past to overwhelm her. Their relationship would have withstood his carelessness and have been forged in love and passion. The car rental woman looked surprised to see him, clearly remembering when he had dropped off the SUV earlier. “Sir?” she queried. “I want a long-term rental,” he brusquely advised. “A bigger SUV, for maybe a month.”
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He managed to be patient as she sorted through options and spoke of rates and insurance, finally scrawling his name across the contract and sealing it with his gold card. Then he was on the road to Tabitha’s, pulling out his phone to call his manager and arrange for a month’s vacation. He didn’t expect his mission to take as long as that, but there was the property to dispose of or at least rent, and the animals to place. He would take of everything. Kyle was sure there was no store in the near vicinity to provide some of the items he thought he might require to deal with Tabitha, but he was always good at improvising. And he could have things couriered if he needed them. He planned as he drove, the miles fading behind him. **** Tara Larson wearily pulled herself to her feet and made her way up the stairs to her monk’s cell. Her house no longer felt the haven that she had tried so hard to construct. She wasn’t sure that she could continue to fill her days and avoid thinking. Kyle’s arrival had Tabitha wanting more. Yet she hurt so badly. She also felt sickened by the memory of Roger Bend and wondered at her resolve to kill him. Kyle’s reappearance in her life had turned her carefully constructed new reality upside down, and even now, her hands itched to touch him, and her pussy ached emptily. She searched for the anger she should be feeling for his presumptuous interference in her life but could only find a sense of sadness and deep loss. How on earth was she to go on now that she had again been reminded of what she had lost, given up, when she left Kyle? His explanation and apology echoed in the empty places in her brain, and she remembered how badly she wanted to run after his car, to tell him she accepted it. And him. God, she would die thinking this way. She would sleep and start tomorrow rebuilding from the inside out. She was strong enough. She had to be.
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The barking of the dogs woke her, and she struggled to her feet, reaching for her robe. Roger Bend. It had to be. And he might have brought his cousin. She wouldn’t let him touch her again. Kyle was the only one she wanted to touch her, and he was gone forever. She took the pistol from the dresser drawer and loaded it, prepared to shoot Roger and anyone else with him. If necessary, she would kill herself, something that seemed more attractive by the minute as the pounding on the door started. “Tabitha! Tabitha, open the door!” Tabitha stared blankly toward the top of the stairs. She was known as Tara. How could Roger Bend…oh God, it was Kyle. She made her fingers loosen to let the gun fall to the bed and then forced her feet to move. Slowly, she descended the stairs, holding onto the railing with a death grip as Kyle’s shouts for her to wake up and open the door resonated along with the dogs’ whines and howls. Tabitha threw the door open just as Kyle must have decided to kick it in. He half fell across the threshold and took her down with him to crash onto the floor. He somehow managed to turn with her enough to avoid crushing her, and they came together face-to-face. She knew her eyes were telling him of both her fear and her need, and Kyle didn’t hesitate. He took her mouth with a kiss that told her of every strong emotion that he had for her. He possessed her mercilessly, and she softened against him and opened her mouth to allow him entrance. Kyle struggled to his feet with her, still kissing her, and kicked the door shut in the startled animals’ faces. He made his way to the couch and lowered her, his hands stripping the robe away then tearing the fine lawn of the nightgown from her body. He lifted over her and freed his erect cock from his jeans, then forged up inside her. He didn’t test her readiness. It didn’t matter. She was his and would accept him. Kyle’s cock dragged against her sensitive tissues, and Tabitha struggled to catch up with his passion. Moisture that she hadn’t felt in all the intervening months flowed to facilitate his invasion, and the
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bite of pain swiftly changed to pleasure. She thought she must be dreaming. Kyle bit down on her shoulder in that oh, so sensitive spot as he thrust harder and twisted his hips. Tabitha began to pant at the familiar coil of sensation building within and felt Kyle reach between them to pinch her clitoris just as he spent himself within her. She cried out his name as she climaxed and arched into him. He collapsed and pinned her to the cushions with his heavy weight, and she reveled in the feeling. Kyle kissed her sweaty temple and pushed up and off of her. He crouched beside the couch and just looked at her. She stared back at him. For a long moment, silence reigned. “You are coming home, Tabitha,” Kyle decreed. Tabitha just continued to stare at him. “I will help you sort out things here, for as long as it takes, but then you are leaving and returning to live with me as my wife.” Tabitha began to breathe rapidly. Kyle fixed her with his gaze and shook his head. “There will be no debate, Tabi-cat. We will talk further in the morning once you have been disciplined.” Tabitha felt her mouth set in a stubborn line. “I’m different now, Kyle. Don’t think that a quick fuck changed anything.” Kyle yanked her off the couch and set her on her feet. He pushed her toward the stair and slapped her buttocks to move her along. “Get to bed, and watch your mouth, Tabitha. I won’t tolerate such language from you.” When she turned to protest, Kyle gave her another gentle shove and slapped her again for emphasis. She looked hard at him and then reached to touch between her legs as his seed flowed from her body and onto her thighs. She looked into his eyes. Kyle shrugged and pointed upstairs. She grudgingly began to climb them ahead of him and felt his eyes on her, studying her body. She knew she was really thin and wondered that he still found her attractive. Tabitha washed up in the bathroom while Kyle readied himself for bed, in her bedroom! He had fucked her without a condom, although he must have considered that she wouldn’t be using protection
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anymore. So he either didn’t care if she became pregnant or his need for her had overcome his control. No, Kyle never lost control. She touched her belly and wondered, then went to join Kyle. He was standing by the narrow bed, holding her Glock. “Why do you have a hand gun, Tabitha?” he asked. Tabitha shrugged then flinched before his hard look. “There is a man in town who is bothering me. He is threatening to shoot my animals if I don’t, well, if I don’t have sex him.” Kyle’s face darkened with rage, and Tabitha felt a moment’s real fear. “Who is he?” Tabitha told him and looked away in shame. Kyle instantly held her close and spoke tenderly in her ear. “I’m furious with him, darling, and I’ll take care of it. It has added to your punishment because you didn’t have to put yourself in the position of having to fend him off. You didn’t have to run away. But I don’t care what you had to do with him. That is over now.” He slipped her beneath the covers and got in behind her to fit himself closely to her back. The bed barely held them both, but Tabitha welcomed the close quarters. She felt safe and loved and protected. She felt like she belonged. She wasn’t happy about the pending punishment because she suspected Kyle had a lot to express, but resigned herself to it.
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Chapter Twelve When Tabitha awoke the next morning, she found Kyle had been busy. The smell of coffee enticed her downstairs after she had showered and belted her robe around her. The sight of him so comfortable in her kitchen took her breath away and brought tears to her eyes. Could it really be so simple? He had said he was sorry and explained himself. If she accepted, would things go back to the way they were, only better? Once he provided her punishment. Against her better judgement, Tabitha allowed her arousal to grow. Kyle might punish her but would never really hurt her, and she longed for the pleasure that would follow. And maybe the punishment would cleanse her. She decided she would accept it, although Kyle seemed very sure of himself and a perverse part of her wanted to mess with him, shake that certainty. Kyle turned from his perusal of the contents of the refrigerator. His eyes swept over her from head to toe, and he raised an eyebrow. Tabitha’s fingers went to the tie of her robe automatically, and she let it slip from her body then went to him. He kissed her leisurely and ran his hands down her back to cup her buttocks, then nuzzled her neck. “No wonder you are so thin, Tabitha,” he commented. “You have very little to eat in this place. We’ll go into the village afterward to fill the cupboards.” Tabitha flinched, and Kyle continued, “I’ll look up Mr. Bend while we are there.” Tabitha stared at the floor and stayed silent. Kyle asked, “Do you want coffee before or after I punish you?”
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Tabitha shrugged, and he pulled her head back by her hair to stare into her eyes. “Before or after?” “That would be your choice, Kyle,” she murmured and relaxed at his murmur of approval. “Go into the living room, and kneel in the middle of the room facing the door,” he ordered. Tabitha obeyed and instantly observed the lengths of clothesline lying on the coffee table now pulled before the fireplace. Two clothespins and a yardstick lay on it as well beside a strip of the nightgown Kyle had destroyed the night before. Her hairbrush looked out of place with the other objects, as did the pestle she used to grind and press her paints. The bottle of baby oil was self-explanatory, and Tabitha shivered. Kyle slowly approached her, wearing only his jeans, the top button undone, the belt now hanging from his hand. He unzipped and pulled his cock out. Tabitha opened her mouth without being told and began to fellate him, using only her mouth, keeping her hands on her thighs. Kyle took his time with her, thrusting slowly into her mouth as she worked her tongue around the head of his cock and then his shaft, tracing the vein along the underside. She had not forgotten the taste of him and didn’t flinch when he suddenly began to force deeper, testing her gag reflex. Tabitha took him all, willing to suffer a bruised mouth for him, willing to choke if he willed it. But of course, he took only his pleasure without hurting her, although she was sorely out of practice. She drank down his ejaculate when he held against the back of her throat and urged her to swallow on him. Kyle stroked his finger across her lips after he withdrew, and she licked the seed from it. **** Kyle felt in control of himself now and moved to discipline Tabitha, both to help her work through the guilt she felt but to also deal with the morass of emotion she had drowned herself in. It would
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help him, too, in establishing himself as her Dom again and helping her let go of the crippling control she had self-imposed. He literally had been dying inside without her. It would serve to cement his apology and commitment. This might the first of only a few such sessions. Tabitha might be pregnant. In fact, he wouldn’t use protection for the remainder of the time here. He wanted children with Tabitha, and he knew she would be a wonderful mother and not repeat her own mother’s mistakes. He would be a good father, too. He pulled her to her feet and had her lie face down on the stone coffee table. It wouldn’t be comfortable despite the comforter he had folded over it. He secured her wrists and ankles to the four legs with enough play to slide a pillow beneath her belly. He then stripped his jeans off to allow his cock, hard again, to spring free. Jeans just weren’t leathers. Tabitha lay, restrained and spread, awaiting his next move. Kyle picked up the yardstick and laid two quick strokes on her uplifted buttocks. She whimpered as he watched the welts raise a beautiful pink against her ivory skin. “Do you know why I am administering these strokes, Tabitha?” he asked. Tabitha moaned, “Because I ran and didn’t talk things out.” Kyle laid another two strokes with more authority. “You disobeyed me, Tabi, and put yourself in grave danger. You reverted to your past instead of calling upon the present and the person you had become. You disappoint me because you lost faith in yourself. You are better than that and can rise above even my stupidity.” He struck her again, six times, and her shoulders began to shake. Kyle crouched beside her head and crooned into her ear, exhorting her to let go, stroking over her hair and down her back to where the heat from his blows was evident. He poured baby oil down the cleft of her buttocks and spread it around her anus, the puckered opening flinching as his finger breached it. Kyle pulled out and added more oil, hearing Tabitha moan the loss of his digit. He added a finger, pushing in deep and making a scissoring motion. Tabitha clenched on
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him and moaned louder. The only concession Kyle allowed to express his anger was the pestle. It was made of marble and was the size of his largest butt plug, nearly the size of a dildo, and Tabitha’s anus had likely been untried for months. He didn’t allow himself to think about what that Roger Bend had forced her to do. It would not have touched Tabitha’s soul, as adept as she was at dissociating herself from any sexual act other than with him. But Tabitha’s body also belonged to him, Kyle Stone, and Bend had poached. He planned to destroy the man. Returning to the matter at hand, Kyle dipped the pestle in the oil and began to insert it into Tabitha’s anus. She gasped and tried to squirm away, but he held her steady with a hand on her back and pushed steadily. “This is your punishment, Tabitha,” he said darkly. “Consider it a gift as well, because when I fuck you here, you will be stretched. I am not going to be easy on you, my love.” Once the pestle was firmly seated, Kyle took up the hairbrush and heated every inch of Tabitha’s bottom. He varied his placement and the intensity of the blows until she cried as though her heart was broken. Only then did he relent, after tapping the base of the makeshift plug a final time. Tabitha now existed in subspace, the pain and poison leached from her soul, her guilt expunged. Kyle knew that the soreness of her buttocks was a mere impression, although the fullness in her anus would ground her to some degree. Kyle inserted the handle of the hairbrush into her pussy and thrust it in and out, then left it high inside her as he pulled out the pestle. She whimpered then gasped as his cock pushed in without any further preliminaries, bigger even than the pestle. He fucked her relentlessly, reaming her, reminding Tabitha of their ritual, but moreover, he was re-establishing his claim of her, and she accepted it. He powered on and on and then slid a hand beneath to find her clit. It took but a stroke for her to orgasm, and he pumped his cum against the walls of her bowels as she did so.
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Kyle growled the words against the back of her neck, “I love you Tabitha. I love you. And if I ever give you reason to question your trust in me again, you will come to me, and I will make it right.” Kyle knew better than to promise that he would never fuck up again. He appreciated the frailty of human beings and had reluctantly accepted that he was one of their ranks. Tabitha might yet remind him that he had openly admitted to being an egotistical boor. He reluctantly pulled from Tabitha’s tight bottom. He was tempted to turn her over and use the clothespins on her nipples and fuck her again with the end of the hairbrush until she came over and over, not to mention having a taste of her pussy. But she needed to be taken care of and fed. They still had to go into the village and take care of business. He would spend the rest of the afternoon playing with her. **** Tabitha could hardly sit on the leather seat of Kyle’s rental. Her buttocks burned and stung despite the cool cloths Kyle had applied before the cucumber lotion. Her anus and vagina were a bit sore, too. However, she didn’t complain. Kyle had really been angry, although she suspected it was more at himself than with her. She had welcomed the experience, recognizing that it meant they had passed through a difficult time and were moving on. Her anxiety about going with Kyle into the village had nearly totally diminished. He would take care of everything while making sure she was fine with it. Somehow, he knew how to do that without much discussion. He knew her as well as she knew herself, if not better. And, she discovered, she knew him. Never again would she accept anything less than what she believed he could give her. Never again would she hold back until he offered, although she would stay within the boundaries of a D/s relationship because it suited them both. And if he messed up, she would confront him. He would indeed make it right. She finally accepted that she
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ultimately had the control in their relationship, and if she wasn’t happy, then he certainly would not be. Kyle smiled at her. “Sore, baby?” he asked. “A little,” she replied. “I won’t say I’m sorry because I’m not, but I won’t paddle you again. At least not in the next while, unless you deserve it,” he added. “Think hard now if there is anything else you need to tell me.” Tabitha closed her eyes and swallowed. “Roger said he has a cousin…” She watched as Kyle nearly strangled the steering wheel in his fury. He would be thinking of how vulnerable she had been and that he had not been there for her. “I’ll take care of it,” he said, with no inflection in his voice. “Is there anything else?” “No.” Tabitha canvassed every inch of the small market store. She examined nearly every item, carefully choosing several to place in her basket. Anything not to think about what was happening in that office off of the back alley. Kyle would take care of things. Of that she was certain. What she couldn’t bear was the thought of what Bend would tell Kyle, what he would say she had done for him. Tara Larson hadn’t cared, for it meant next to nothing to her. She had simply endured then put it behind her. Tabitha cared. Deeply. Kyle might be disgusted and angry with her and hold her in contempt. Her stomach was in knots, and she felt light-headed with worry. “Tabitha.” Kyle’s deep voice broke into her reverie, and he pulled her back against his chest. “Tabitha, it’s okay. I promise you. I love you, darling. This has not touched what we have.” Silent tears flowed, although she tried to hold them back. He knew her so well, had read her mind. She made a brave face and held out the basket. “These should restock the larder, Kyle,” she suggested. “Unless you have something to add.”
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**** Kyle took the basket from her hand and guided her up to the till. He conversed with the woman who checked them through, confirming that he was indeed Tara’s significant other, although his name for her was Tabitha. The clerk tittered and blushed at his wink, and he knew the word would spread quickly that Tabitha had a protector come to be with her. He wasn’t finished with Roger Bend, and he thought to have her neighbors well on their side when Bend found out what vengeance really entailed. Bend had blustered when Kyle had confronted him with forcing Tabitha to have sex in order to keep her home and animals safe. Kyle had been inflexible and easily intimidated the other man who then resorted to asserting that Tabitha offered herself, beginning to share lewd activities before Kyle’s stare shut him down. Kyle had left without issuing a warning or saying much of anything else. Despite Bend’s disgusting habits, he was clearly a shrewd businessman, and Kyle was certain the message to leave Tabitha alone had gotten across. Kyle would wait until Tabitha returned home with him and her animals were placed before he ruined him financially. He looked forward to it. Tabitha would likely never ask and didn’t need to know what he planned. She would know he had dealt with Bend, and that was all that was necessary. The drive to The Knoll was made in silence, but it was of the comfortable kind. Kyle planned to spend the rest of the day making love to Tabitha, healing them both. There was lots of time to plan in the days following. She turned to look at him, love shining in her eyes, and at that moment the past totally fell away. No longer broken, their future stretched limitless before them, much like the open road on which they drove.
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THE END WWW.ALLYSONYOUNG.COM
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Allyson Young lives in cottage country in Manitoba, Canada, with her husband of many years and numerous pets. She worked in human services all across Canada and has seen the best and worst of what people bring to the table. Allyson has written for years, mostly short stories and poetry, published in small newspapers and the like, although her work appeared in her high school yearbooks, too! After reading an erotic romance quite by accident, she decided to try her hand at penning erotica. Allyson will write until whatever she has inside her is satisfied— when all the heroes man up and all the heroines get what they deserve. Love isn’t always sweet, and Allyson favours the dark side of romance. Allyson writes whenever the mood strikes her, sometimes in the middle of the night when she is awake and simply thinking about life. She hears others talk about their lives and relationships and is inspired to recreate some of their passions and dreams within her characters. She can write for hours at a time, quite lost as the story unfolds, or haul out the little book she always carries with her to jot thoughts and ideas down as they occur, whether in the local grocery store or while out walking with her dogs. She sometimes has two or three stories on the go at the same time, not that they all come to fruition. The BDSM lifestyle intrigues her, and as she continues to do her research, it becomes ever clearer that the players and the levels of involvement are as varied as any other interest people may have. She claims poetic licence and may offend the purists! There is always a flavour of the dominant male in everything she writes, but the women ultimately are appreciated and cherished and have the ultimate power in the relationship, despite the fact that love is sometimes quite blind.
Also by Allyson Young Ménage Amour: Running to Love 1: Away Siren Classic: Club Pleasure 1: Wishes Ménage and More: Forgiveness Ménage Amour: The Promise
Available at BOOKSTRAND.COM
Siren Publishing, Inc. www.SirenPublishing.com